We Hate Movies - S14 Ep734: Terminal Velocity

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

“There is a terminal velocity for us all!” - Steve, on death On this week’s episode, SHEENPRIL takes to the skies… and dives into a great conversation about the outrageous skydiving-centric action movie, Terminal Velocity! Is James Gandolfini believable as a Russian heavy? Has there been better skydiving stunts in a major motion picture? How humiliating is it to die by drowning in your own fish tank? And why would an eight year-old kid want a skydiver to land at their birthday party? PLUS: What’s wrong with a little Tasteful Shadow? Terminal Velocity stars Charlie Sheen, Nastassja Kinski, Christiopher McDonald, Melvin van Peebles, Hans Howes, Margaret Colin, Suli McCullough, Gary Bullock, and James Gandolfini as Ben Pinkwater; directed by Deran Sarafian. This episode is brought to you in part by Ladder Financial! So go to Ladder Life dot com slash whm today to see if you’re instantly approved. That’s L-A-D-D-E-R Life dot com slash whm… Ladder Life dot com slash whm. Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

this week on the program. Get ready to pull that cord because we're talking about terminal velocity. I'm Andrew Jupin. Skydiving Steven Zanak. Eric Sheenska. Ditch cabin. And we hate movies. I've been trying to do that for years. Yeah. No luck on your shit. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We hate movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. We are talking terminal velocity this week. And if you are finding us for the first time, because you are a skydiving enthusiast. Let me just say. This is a comedy show where you take. a movie good, bad, or otherwise, and kick it around for a little bit, for comedic purposes. And yes, Terminal Velocity from 1994, directed by Darren Seraphian.

Those skydiving fans must have, it must have been a tortured couple years between drop zone and this. They came out months apart. Oh, really? I mean, episodes for, oh, yes. It's been a long go. I understand it. We're sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you.

What's funny is that was another theme month, right? Snipesgiving. Oh, wow, yes. Sure. Well, this is, this was going to be my question, is which is the better picture? This. This? I think so, too.

I disagree. Oh, I thought you meant the art. And I was like, oh, well, Blade holding a turkey was pretty strong. I cannot. If you're asked, I mean, it was Leslie Snipes versus Charlie Sheen. I'm sorry. Oh, sure. And that ends the discussion to play.

I would say the cast is better than that, but I think the skydiving might be better in this. These stunts are redonculus. Really cool. And you've got. the most American actors playing Italian. I'm not Russian. Russian. Yes. I was I was singing Italian because my mind's on James

Gandalfini. What are we doing here? Even though it is a lot of fun. And of course Shooter McGavin, Christopher McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Him is a heavy is just it's world changing. Like literally, I guess is Happy Gilmore before this?

I think Happy Gilmore is 95 or 96. Okay. I feel like this is something I when I saw that, I was like, why is that Oh, he's funny too, was kind of the thing. Is this before, after under siege two? Because the blonde hair thing really threw me for a loop. Oh, it's scary. It's terrifying. What's his name? Everett McGill has the blonde hair

and Understitch 2 as the number 2. Number two to Eric Begoge. Yes. And I was a way. That's a fucking shitty place to be. I would I mean, I would like to watch Christopher McDonald's fight Everett I think that would be a pretty... You would think it would go

McGill's way, but I feel like McDonald's could really fucking do it. Here's the thing. Ever McGill, taller, so he's got the height advantage and the reach, probably. But Christopher McDonald, he's a bider. Under Siege 2 Dark Territory, 1995, a year after this. God, okay.

So this was the blueprint. Yes, they stole it from this. It was the blonde print. Excuse me. That's right. But that is what I find so hilarious. Both him, McDonald and Gandalfini, great actors, really fun

in this as like heavies and like Gainolfini being the surprise heavy. Yeah. So like they take they're supposed to be ex KGB operatives. A KG used to be. Thank you. And a joke that gets funnier every time it's seven. You're going to funny by the way. Happy Gilmore

in 1996. Ah, okay. I was right. So they went to the Stella Adler School for acting to drop these acts. Well, neither of them have accents. Gandelfini's doing a full on, like Woody Allen performing. And he's like, now I'm a bad guy. Well, dude, I will tell you, man, you're telling on yourself that you've not watched

the television show, the Americans. That's exactly what those fucking people did. It's true, yeah. They worked for a long time to drop their accents and, like, you know, speak impeccable English. They were just that good. Totally believable. They could just act like James Gandalfini or Shooter McGowan.

I don't think either of them are as good as Matthew Reese. Actually, any of them in Americans, any of the Russian characters. because like, it's like, hi, how you, this is Gandalfi, hi, how you're doing? Strasvoitia. Yeah, that's Russian is what I am. Yeah, Strasviches and whatnot. I love, I love that.

Yeah, LaBlu. Yeah, we have not invented Rabes or Baja yet in the lab. That's, yeah, that's a good role. Well, wait a minute. Well, they probably didn't get about it from the wall, dude. Right.

I'm still waiting to be. Christopher McDonald, I guess. But you, so you were saying, Yalu blue, uh, T. Lubish, What? Chris McDonnell. I love Chris McDonald.

I'm sorry. I wasn't doing a language lesson in the middle of this. I was just pointing out that Chris and I are the only people in this room to have taken several years of Russian. I also didn't know you were the dueling go out. But speaking of languages, that's why I feel like a German national like Kinski here is a better double for a Russian than a New Jersey resident. Oh, sure. That's the funny thing too Is because, yes, all of them

Like all of her McDonald And all these other guys talk regular American And then like they're shouting Russian At each other And she's the only one with an accent That's like question bar Yeah It's funny with the Gandalfini dub

Or with the Gandalfini Russian Gave it away They dub him so hard Oh really? Yeah My God Nice I can you can smell the fucking like

Russian fish fish merchant Coming off of that dub voice I The beginning of this movie movie is completely nonsensical. I don't know what's going on here. I got to say, like, it's foggy and misty and dusty in the desert at the same time. Those don't all go together. You can't have fog and mist and dust. Those are what's the fucking lost boys. I thought a vampire was around. This is what they didn't specify. Dude, that, you know, Sonoman Desert, Arizona.

Airwolves. Haunted desert. Oh, that's what you were doing there. You were driving through a haunted desert was the problem. It's a beautiful desert, by the way. Gorgeous. We have a chance. Check it out. Hell yeah. Great fucking. drive through that desk. Oh, yes. Get some sonorin dogs while you're out there. I don't know where this comes from. But like, when they get back to the apartment, it feels very much like a

lethal weapon opening. It does. Yeah. But like, yeah, I don't know where they got the idea for this big, foggy, like, plane landing. It takes 10 minutes. It takes forever. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, there's a plane landing in the desert and it clip my car. Let me go back to my lethal weapon

apartment and then talk about it on the phone. And then maybe the movie can start. Well, because she's like, we have to get out. The defense ministry is doing this, that, the other thing. And it was bad because very dark in that haunted desert, kind of hard to see. And I kind of, I realized

at the start of this movie, I kind of forgot what Nastassia Kinski looks like. And I'm watching this opening scene and I'm like, all right, so there's Nastassia Kinski. She's driving through the desert. And I was like, oh, no, wait a second. That's not her. Who the fuck is this lady? Turns out it's nobody. It's Nastassia's

roommate. Welcome back to this show. after cat people, beloved episode, beloved film. Right, cat people. Yes. Yeah. I mean, Schrader should have done a pass on this. Ditch Brody at a desk.

He did a pass on it. How can you fit faith into this? Where's the Catholicism? Oh, dude, what? That's the Calvinists have a big thing for... You're closer to God. Are you suggesting ditch would have any inner thoughts at all? If Schrader did a pass, possibly.

I'm writing in my journal about my penis. He's got the journal out. He's got a surge next to him. He's just like, I don't know if skydiving. It's so cool. X games are coming up and I used to be an Olympian. We'll drop that in halfway through the fucking movie. Oh, I fucking love that.

I cannot believe that you set up that this motherfucker was training for them Soviet 1980 games got screwed over because of the boycott, whatever. You do not have this dude. in gymnastics? Yes. At the end it's like, oh, Christ. It's kind of like the parallel bars. Like, he just starts to do it. You know what I mean? A one split. One split. You can't get

Charlie Sheen to fake one split. He's not. I might rip my ball sack. He's not even that flexible in this movie. I'll say it. He's pretty stiff. I do. I wish he had a Ace Ventura-esque room where he's got like fucking Jimmy Carter's Laces out, Jimmy.

Totally. He just fucking pissed. off every day. He's history's greatest monster. I have to kill the former president. Your KGB, help me out. But a skydiamer to the White House. I will give you this metal tube, I swear, if you just kill Jimmy Carter. It's got it for

houses for human, haven't had for humanity. The way to break his neck. Oh yeah, you make the house fall on them and then his socks can curl up like the wicked witch. James Gandalfini, do what time cannot do. And Jimmy Carter. But, yeah.

Let Jimmy Carter live naturally and dies on way. He's still alive, right? As is this recording. So now we've cursed it. This is a few weeks before you're hearing this. Dude, I'm sorry. In your timeline, he's dead. There is a terminal velocity for us all.

You know what I mean? Like, he's 90-something. But so, yeah, after a baffling desert sequence, she goes back and she's like, they're going to get me, going to get me. There's one dune her apartment. This lady dispatches him pretty well. Yeah.

But then here comes fucking big bad. had Chris McDonald with these gloves and the fucking haircut it's wild it's good man like if there was like a

1994 American psycho sure I gotta say there's nothing well I guess that's not true there are a few things more embarrassing

than the way you were murdered was you were drowning your own fish tank yeah fuck that sucks yeah you can't have fish that's a dangerous

the fish is just look at you like how do you like it yeah he's like fucking dunking this right Because fish tank is very dangerous And also parrots, they could use the beak

The Hitman could grab the parrot Use its beak to shove it into your neck. Looks like somebody doesn't have Some gills. Oh, look you here. Oh, boy. Oh, having trouble breathing, aren't you? I know you forgot fucking feed me last week. I hope you're fucking happy now.

Oh, this is the fish, not Kevin Costs. Oh, look how exciting it is. Welcome to my fucking world. Aren't you excited by this fucking scuba diver at a stupid treasure chest? Oh, it's stupid, right? You know I shit in here and then you put food on top of the water that has the shit in it? Oh, no, maybe you catch some of the bubbles from the little man and you can breathe finally. All I'm saying is perhaps we shouldn't live our entire lives inside. Oh, what she's done. This is not treasure. It's just plastic painted

like treasure. Guys, guys, let's go swim into her mouth. Come on. Let's go. Let's all go. Oh, yes. And you start eating it from the inside. Dude, Christopher McDonald has this line, though, where he's just like, yeah, well, just make it look like she fell in the shower. I was like, young people don't fall in the shower and then drown themselves. Yeah, well, you could drown yourself in anything. Yeah, I mean, that's, neither of those are exactly hard to do. But it is true, you don't hear them as much about younger people. I will say everybody should be embarrassed in this scene because Christopher McDonald

and this other fella he's got next to him, they both have to put in the work to get this lady drowned. Yeah, that is, if you had to do a breakdown to the. boss about this. I mean, Gandalfini should fire both of them. Well, they're both super secret agents. By the way, I'm now, I'm just going through, like, I'm trying to find movies maybe because I really do like McDonald's as this heavy

and I'm trying to find roles where he might have done this. But I found an older 88 movie. Anyone ever seen the movie paramedics? Two paramedics were transferred to the nasty part of the city. Oh, we know what that means. Where a gang is killing people to sell their organs. So race is paramedics. And I mean, look at, I'm going to pass

the phone around for the post. It's, oh, I have. It's like a boob comedy. Yeah. It's a boob comic. I didn't expect that. Oh, it's a vestron picture. Well, now that's a sign of quality. If we can steal organs and turn my organ on, I like that. I'll send this out later. There's a fire hydrant erupting, not like a jack on the cover.

This looks amazing. This looks like police academy in the wrong neighborhood. Oh, somebody's getting laid. Oh, isn't that fun? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that a cadaver with him? Probably. Oh, yeah. Maybe some necrophilia. A tagline. call them smooth, call them slick, just don't call them when

you're sick. And then sliding your dick. Yes. Anyway, Terminal velocity. So that's we have not seen that movie or maybe Chris has. I've seen parts of it. I'm going to send it later and we're all going to be seen. We should sync that up.

Suddenly, thankfully, thankfully we go from this ladies drown. They'll say goodbye. And we go directly to Charlie Sheen almost ending his life. which is really great. He's skydiving. He's trying to get, he's like,

Oh, you met the character. Well, yes. Okay. You know, a lot of personal interest in this, I think. It wasn't until, you know, 10 years later that Charlie started having issues. Remember, folks, just because we're talking

about an actor, does not mean we endorse their personal life. I think we need to start having some respect for the intelligence of this audience. I have to hear one more fucking time how we don't approve of Charlie Sheen, but we're just doing these movies. Jesus fucking

Christ, I'm going to lose it. My fucking bearded head is going to explode off my body. Oh, boy. You're going to watch paramedics before you explode. Or ambulance with Eric Roberts, which I just learned about. You got to watch. I can't wait. It's so good. I literally just found out about it.

Stay tuned, baby. Because I was, I was looking up fucking Eric Roberts' movies. Sure, why not? It's pretty good. Similar plot to paramedics. Stanley's best acting. Of course, yes. As himself. I mean, I got to watch it for the fucking haircut that he's got in the movie.

The bullet looks insane. Dude, you also have to watch it for him just hitting on women in the street. But speaking of, speaking of, what do you call it there? Stan Lee and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Charlie Sheet, base jumping, kind of dressed like Thor a little bit. It's a whole outfit here. And I have to wonder. Well, that's the thing, right?

He's clearly dressed for the occasion. The gag is, he thinks. he's going to a bachelorette party, but it's a little girl's eighth birthday. And he's his cock out. Here's some questions, though. One, with the parents, why does your daughter want a skydiver to appear at her birthday party?

Well, skydiver country back then. It was. It was going to attest to this. His whole family was wrapped up and embroiled in the skydiving community. For new listeners, my father in the mid-90s was a huge skydiving fanatic, very cool. Almost certified.

Got really close. Certified insane. Exactly. Certify. We just, we just go by yourself and just fucking just grab a parachute

and just jump to be that's certified. Now, you know, we've all heard this you know, a number of times here but I don't think we've ever asked

and aside from the obvious answer of divorced guy midlife crisis, was there something that it planted the seat of like skydiving is the thing? Like,

was it these movies? No, no, it was before the, before the both these movies. The movies were based on him. he's a thrill seeker man but was skydiving the only thrill he sought

a bungee jumping but then he moved on bungee jumping was like the marijuana out to the cocaine of skies escalating I would never do either I will never ever do either I know it's just funny again as a 40 year old man sitting here I'm like it's funny that I haven't sky dove yet really? Yeah I think I could

I was thinking about when I went to Hawaii and my wife's like that's stupid I know But, no, she's right. You will have a heart attack. Yeah. Don't worry, Steve. You'll find all sorts of other fun ways to piss away money. Don't worry about you. Don't fucking worry about skydiving bills. I mean, it is a very fun way to die if you do die. Sure. You can't count on that. And like, Charlie Sheen is trying to just make a book here by showing his, it's not even his real ass. It's a fake ass. Are you fucking kidding me? Yes. No, fake ass, dude. He's got the thing. He's, he's carrying the ass in when he goes to

Eric, if it's one thing we don't joke about on this show. Yeah. It's the appearance of fake ass. And I'm glad we don't because we have to make people aware this guy's a phony baloney. That's, you know, I do not endorse him because he's not showing ass. That's, it gets a good point. So we should say we do endorse Connor McGregor for showing actual ass and Roadhouse. I guess we do have to give it to him for that one. That dude, one of the fucking worst performances of all time. However, fantastic shape. Good fun. What is the big deal about showing ass? I'll show you my ass at one of our live

shows coming up. You're never going to do that, but I appreciate you having ambition. You know what? The dick is extra. Okay, okay. So ass is going to happen. How much for half and half? The ass isn't playing. What is that? Oh, I like that like a tasteful shadow. Atlanta, Houston, Austin,

come to our live shows this spring. Yeah, VIP package, including tasteful shadows. Wait, so my other My other question about all this, though, is, like, is an appearance at a bachelorette party a thing that the skydivers of the, you know, the world, are contracted to appear out a lot because he's got this costume and the rocket boots and like, yeah, let's do it, man. And it's like, what's about to happen? You're in a public park. I'm sure it's happened. But it's not a reg. I don't think it's regular. Right. Okay. He lands at the party. His ass. cheeks are out or apparently some other guy's ass cheeks. They're making some sort

of reference to you might be seeing some peen in the front. I think we are absolutely referencing that his full cock and balls are out in front of these kids. And maybe this is one of his 12 violations. Oh, dude, the FAA has a problem with that. I feel there's got to be like three or four violations in that one

sky jump below. I feel like you can't go near a fucking school anymore. Can't skydive near school anymore. Can't believe it. Well, that's the funny part. So like, yeah, he goes back to his skydiving ranch there. Should point out just really quickly. Sorry, but like it's a real stunt right here.

Sure. It's fucking awesome. It looks good. It's an actual dude like parachuting betwixt, you know, Arizona high-rise buildings. Sure. Really cool stuff. Sorry, Steve. Well, then we get this news broadcast about a wayward skydiver

Richard Ditch Brody. You might remember him from last year. He parachuted to the football game and and ran for a touchdown and blah, blah, so he's a professional asshole. I do have to give the New Yorker credit for giving him a job

after he did all this stuff. He's moving into film criticism after this. I know he went to France and wrote his book on John Luke Goddard after this. I think the beard looks good on him. I do. I think it was the glasses too. I have a Charlie Sheet with a huge wizard beard like the actual Richard Brody has.

That would be great. I was going to ask, Chris, because you have a couple stories. You bump into Richard Brody. Do you ever call him ditch Brody? You ever called ditch? No, I have not. I've always just shook his hands. You've got to drop a ditch on that guy. My God. But the modern equivalent of this, we have a new

phenomenon. In the 90s, yes, the skydiving asshole was the news craze. The skydiver was king. It's assholes that climb buildings for no goddamn reason. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, wait. He's always climbing the New York Times building. I don't give a fuck. I hope he falls.

He might. It just might happen when it was. I forgot the name of the dock already, but I saw something at Sunday and this year. was about this Russian couple who does that shit. Oh, the Skywalker's. Skywalkers. Yeah, yeah. Their dad's Darth Vader. That's what you learn right at the end of the movie.

It sets up the next documentary. Oh, my God, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your ancestors would jump off things, do tightrope walkings. Which way before the laser swords. The parkour, that was the bridge between the skydiver and the asshole climber. You're right. You're totally right.

Also, if those two Russia, folks did share the same father that would be unfortunate because you know these two perfect human specimens are fucking each other's brains out of the whole time but think about that you got two perfect human specimens. Sure it's inbreeding but they're two great things

just put them together let's see what happens conversations from the 1940s I was kind of curious because there's this it's this news thing where it's like you know he's he has this many FAA violations blah blah blah we'll guess we'll have to wait and see what happens And I'm curious, if that's, so that's on the regular news.

How is this covered on the skydiving news network? This is the question. Ridiculous infuriating news today from the skydiving world. Richard Ditch Brody once again, find for breaking all sorts of FAA regulations. You know what folks. Give me a fucking break. That's what this news reporter says. It's a good man railroaded by the system.

Yep, exactly. You can't even skydive in the middle of a park anymore. They're going to ragged it. There's anything to get these cop fees and fines. Like those little girls hadn't seen it before. I mean, come on now. So now this guy, on top of advocating for being able to skydive anywhere you want to, also advocating waggling your huge, juicy cock.

Yes, that's right. It's 9 p.m. Welcome back to Jump Rope. I am Richard Rope. This is a This is a talk show about skydiving And all sorts of skydiving Affiliated sports

And because I am Richard Rope And such a fan of Richard Ditch Brody I'm also ditch rope What is wrong with skydiving With your penis ajar I mean if you have It is freeing to shoot ropes in the air I would know

My name is Richard Rove? Rich Rope. My name is question mark. I'm Ditch Rope. Do we really want to be taking another all important gig employment away from our beautiful skydivers? That's right. Who cares if the dick is out in some girl season.

You tell him, Jitch Rope. That's right. We have a call in. Yes, that's right. Thank you so much, Marty, from San Francisco. Absolutely. Oh, now it's that C-SPAN show where people just call in and yell. And after the break, we'll have a pass.

Pat Buchanan and Razor, the man that base jumped the Grand Canyon. Oh, very good, Pat Buchanan. I agree that law should not apply 10 feet off the ground because you're in the air, sir. That is the airs domain. So he's in some hot soup here at the Jump Center. David Tellen from Independence Day, who is for some reason uncredited in this movie. What the fuck is that? It's weird.

She's wearing a ridiculous wig. I feel, I mean, it must have been a thing where she was a lot. larger character that was like virtually cut out of the movie and she might have just been like don't credit me because like the way that this starts up you're like okay she's like the manager of this jump center or whatever it is and she's given charlie she and all this shit about like oh all the violations is that the other thing that's the weird part is she's like oh we got all these uh she's her her name margaret colin uh or colin uh as as joe as joe who my terrible apple suburb subtitles kept telling me her name was Joan the whole time and I was like fuck you subtitle track I know Charlie Sheen keeps saying Joe it's just a layer of the movie that it doesn't need if you just made it

Charlie Sheen's place yes it's clean yeah oh we're going to get shut down which they are it would just be cleaner but what are the violate like I mean like the fact that this place has like 12 violations all red like they just she's like you know we got 12 violations already I'm like

for what like it is just like that's a bad place to go for some businessmen once they heard about Pat Buchanan's law they took some 16 year olds up into and we uh well we there's there's some uh look it's pending it's all pending you've heard about

international warders right now try international sky oh my god yeah the Jeffrey Epstein tandem uh jumps they start they start creating like sky platforms from Zelda so technically you could do anything

yeah we'll come and get me up here now you're going to have to spend some money on your bird suits to get you here i don't know that i've never met geoffrey ebstein nor have i ever done a sick twisted base jump on to a 16 year old girl baby that's when they were all flying on his plane to skydive we have skydiving bill ditch clinton strap yourself in and feel the jeez baby no you can't you can't play the saxophone on your way down nobody's gonna fucking hear it But it would make for a pretty cool video. That would be really a stellar.

He should try that now. I don't care if it kills him. It will. But I think what's funny about this and why they don't make him his place is because they really do hammer home how insanely irresponsible he is. Sure. On every level. And we even prove once you meet Natasha Kinski, that also, because he's like, you know, we can set you up with a nice session and you can get out there in about week. How about today? How about you train me right now for two hours?

And then I go and almost kill myself, actually kill myself. She wants to jump that day. He's trying to plan it a few days out. And then he just says okay because he wants, turns out he wants to sleep with this lady. Could you imagine. I can't believe it. His whole little thing with his co-worker by like, by 945, I'm kicking the stuffed animals off the bed, home by 1130. In time for Leno. Five for like time for Leno, man. I was part of it. Oh, she, you're going to be home for Leno? High five. Yeah, I think there's...

I love those headlines. Oh, headlights are hilarious. I think they're saying FAA hit list because he doesn't want to admit that he's also on the FBI's hitlist. I see. Oh, it's Monday. They're jaywalking.

Oh, my God. This is great. Oh, well, actually, so now I have a choice between having sex with her or watching Leno. Oh, my God. But kind of go Leno on this one. Yeah.

I mean, of course. I mean, look, like this idiot. Taurus doesn't know a simple question. I got to stay up late and watch that. Oh, wait. Cracker is the musical guest. I'm staying home for Leno. Oh, my God. He's doing Iron J.

tonight where he pretends to be a strongman. He stopped doing those characters. It's too bad. And remember there was Biondo where he was a floating head. Oh, wow. Yeah, there's nuances to Leno. No one remembers. I've got the dancing edos tonight.

Yeah, I'll skip. I'm going to skip the sex. Dude, the dancing edos are burned into my fucking head. Of course they are. What an unfortunate thing to have forever in my mind. But he's got this. So he's got this, you know, he's a professional fucking skydiving instructor. Yes.

Such as it is. And he's got this porno poster. And I mean, like, tandem is, I mean, from what I remember from, again, kind of growing up a little bit around skydiving ranch is a little bit. Less porno, you're saying? I believe that's the only way you're allowed to jump for your first time. I don't know if you're allowed to do the static, whatever the static,

the static line that they talk about. Maybe in Arizona. Yeah. We don't have laws here. Yeah. But in New York at the very least at the time, you had to tandem. I guarantee you could shoot guns, skydiving out west. Do you like this poster I got you? The president of the United States gave it to him. Oh, man, look at this saucy lady getting a tandem jump. Thank you. Because it's, it's a, it's a skydiving instructor on top of a woman. It says, jump her bones. Yes. And she's got big, hooters. Yes, and he's right behind her and the idea is like probably inside of her as well. It's like one of them leisure

suit, Larry kind of posters situation. I mean, she's a little bit of an elderly gal, but you get the picture, right? The mile high club without the plane. That's cool. That's really tough. That's like putting your key in a trunk of a car that's falling off a plane.

We'll get there. We'll get there. He's got kind of a great cocky ass line here where she's like, oh, maybe I should just go with that person. or something. Instead, he's like, oh, you said you wanted the best, right? Well, you're talking to him. Fucking great. Oh, yeah. But it's stupid to trust

my life with a walking penis. Well, I'm a flying penis. Oh, yeah, man. She wants to do what's called a static line, which I guess is your, it's like being tanned up your, your, your, your, your, your, your rope to the guy. Is that what it is? Yeah, but like, as opposed to. Embelical style.

Yeah. Why don't we call it ambilical style? It's weird. I'm the baby. Yep, that's the. Because you keep making it weird. That's the mama. I mean, if you personally wanted to be called the umbilical cord and get the whole baby thing going, I'm sure they would be accommodated. You know, ladies, around the jump site, they call me the umbilical cord.

Hello, I am big baby. How are you doing today? If I'm jumping out of a plane, you better believe I need to be wearing a diaper. Absolutely. All everybody shits up there. It's just, it just happens. You're just like, you're just like looking at Melvin. Van Peeples. You swear I can shit.

You're not going to be embarrassed. What a bewildering role for him. I was going on here. I thought he was going to come back. He's pilot. I love Belvin and Peoples in this movie. What needs to happen to make, there's an R-rated version of this movie where he gets like murdered on deadly ground style or putting drills in his neck. Oh yeah. Totally. Throw him into a propeller. Yes. You know what I mean? Like Christopher McDonald's like, where are they? And you know, he just bouts the ever-loven shit out of him. That's a movie.

I didn't even notice, but yeah, kind of surprising this isn't an R-rated movie. Let's up that kill factor a little bit. Wipe out this whole fucking staff. I don't care. Or maybe, yeah, like, maybe we, what they cut out, maybe Joe and Melvin Van Peebles are also Russian spies. Well, Tucson is the Soviet capital of the United States. That's true.

That's very true. Because we're the southern border and I hear all manner of terrorists are coming through now. That's why they always invite the sons out there. to play in Russia every once a year. I love the busy screenplay of like hip skydiving drug because I believe like Joe is like

you just get too edgy out there you're gonna bounce and the idea of bouncing which is when you can't pull your shoot and you hit the ground you bounce and then like later on we're saying bounce all over like David Tui was like listening

to some skydiver like yeah man I don't want to bounce man. Yeah yeah I hung around some skydivers for nine months, catching all the jargon. Yeah, there's bounce is one word that's constantly in this movie. Also slam, but slam's a good thing. Slam is a good thing. Bounce bad, slam good. Got it.

Random horny. Horrible news from their skydiving news. Richard Rope here, jump rope. We're breaking in here with a breaking news. Razor has bounced in the Grand Canyon. He was going to base jump, but yes, he didn't make a yeback. But Ditch Brody has slammed once again, righteous, sir. And that's a sex reference, not skydiving.

Just to cut in here on the skydiving news network, Ditch Brody laid once again. And that other guy laid to rest. Breaking news right now, we have a blonde bounce in the Arizona desert. And yes, unfortunately. she was hot cowabunga and good night it's always most tragic when those who bounce are also hot

and this is interesting right they get up on the plane and she's like oh is there another there's another plane or something ditch Brody Charlie Sheen's character name goes up to Melmanman

Peebles like is there anyone else oh not that I can see turns back she's gone yep she had already jumped without him yeah out the plane and he he's like it's a real like like if you're a skydiving instructor this is about as much as you can fuck up at work yes exactly because she's like is there's another plane he's like let me go look and then she's gone it's like

oh fuck i mean a you should totally be tandem but i guess in arizona you're not supposed to do that once you open the door yes tie yourself to something seriously like there cannot be any room for error if you're going to check the front of the plane you grab her hand and now we're both checking the front of the plane yep and he looks out and she's just falling down in her orange jumpsuit and he's just got a real oh fuck and he jumps after her and I got to tell you again right here amazing skydiving

this is a fun sequence it's fucking rocks he's trying to catch her I mean like I don't even think in the sequences where there's skydiving in those movies I don't think we've gotten skydiving stunt work this good in like any Mission Impossible movie Probably not like I think this is the most

supreme skydiving stunt action shit I've ever seen because they're like grabbing at each other or he's grabbing at her because she's obviously spoiler her she's actually a dead body that they hucked out of a fucking place so the other will come to the revelation that there was another plane

that threw the body out in the blind spot of this plane yes and she sort of just jumped out and like made herself into a position that would like shoot her body across the sky I thought she might have bade into another plane like you know what I mean I don't think they had the technology

it is pretty funny that this accident to the quote unquote accident has this a brooder film it does because there's also Suli McCullough who's guy I had seen him on Mr. Show a bunch he's just a comedian what did he do any memorable

performances on Mr. Shaw just look at him he's just one of the just sort of background yeah background had some funny jokes here and there oh that's cool I didn't recognize this dude at all but he's actually he's pretty good in this movie and playing robocam by the way Yeah, well, that's how you know you're a pervert

because they only know you buy your camera fixation. Yeah, you're a pervert. He gets footage of it at some point. Initially, he's like, oh, you know, why don't you, why don't I get you footage? Usually, like, you buy the package. My dad did. Film the jump.

And then you, I think, like, most people in the 1990s, you set it to free fall in by Tom Petty, like my dad did, then you're having a great time. That's awesome. Does this tape still exist? I'm sure it does. We got to get this. digitize that thing. Digitize. We should play it on our YouTube channel.

Well, now I wonder, maybe you could set your favorite podcast to jumping. Like, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. No, please write in if you've jumped to WeAid movies. And please do, by the way, risk your life as much as possible while listening to this. I mean, I want to see WHM tattoos in the wild, but I'm listening to the show, whilst skydiving is also pretty much. No, well, no, you're setting, you're just editing the video. You're skydiving on your own. Like, my dad wasn't listening to Tom Petty. they edited that in later you see that's fine i'm saying i want someone jumping out of a plane and the four of us are in their oh i like that even better years ago someone said they gave birth during listening to us i think that's the next thrill is almost dying you know that's true so by the way this mr show guy he's got great dialogue on the ground once the body does

bounce it bounces and it is just such a striking moment and that's when i realized i saw this in the theater i was like it all came flooding back to me oh wow yeah Oh, my God. What a great afternoon. That must have been. I definitely did not. I realized this. I had not seen that. Oh, no, I definitely saw the theater. But we saw this and drop so, man. My dad was. Of course. Skydive crazy. Do you go in a flight suit or something? No, he's not go in costume.

Let's go skydum. Let's go skydum. I ask people they want autographs. It's like, were you in the movie? No, I'm just a skydap. I'm the real life thing. I should say, go to the movies in his jumpsuit. We did, no, he did not. But I do, but he did. But he did drive in his. car, which I didn't mention, I probably mentioned in the drop-side episode, in his car, which at the time his license plate was, I skydive, all

one word. I like that. I like that. Let everybody know, especially the ladies, that this divorce gentleman might be skydiving on the weekend. Here's the most important detail, though, and I don't know if you recall this, what kind of car was this license plate attached to it? Oh, no.

It was a nice enough car. He had a Volvo for a little bit. Oh, that's a good. No one's ever been laid by owning a a Volvo skydiving license plate. That's true. No Volvo owner has ever had sex. This is absolutely true. That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm fucking saying and you know it.

You're like Woody Woodpecker over there, you little fucking troublemaker. I'm just saying no one's been like, that dude's driving a Volvo. Let me suck his D off, dude. Absolutely not. But if you're driving Christopher McDonald's a Cadillac in this movie, you're getting your dick sucked. Absolutely.

That dude, this character's getting his dick suck three times a day with this car. In the 90s, sobbing up. Yeah. But to the dialogue, he goes up to his, he goes up to the sheet. He's like,

it's so good. I can't. Oh, it's like, and this guy previously was the guy that he was talking like, you know, 930,

1130, Lendo, high five. His mutual Leno friend at work. Isaac, you know, I just, we used to joke about it.

How, what would it be like to see somebody bounce? I don't think we're going to be joking about it anymore. Not only does he say that is he also pepper's in like, you know, bounce and drill into the ground like Wiley, Coyotes. Oh, that's right. I, you know, I don't have to don't add the cartoon now. I don't want to find

out that my skydiving instructors are making jokes like this. Yeah. Like, no way. They're a motley crew. It's gallows humor. Three months from now, he's back to make him bounce. Absolutely. Like, come on now. It's so true. Just get the fuck out of here with this shit. I do love Charlie Sheen's reaction because he's grabbing at her. He has to pull his shoot she's not going to pull hers because she's a dead body and he goes oh oh oh oh it's just

a real like oh fuck the other crazy thing though is when they're talking about like oh we should maybe stop making wily coyote jokes and whatnot you know Charlie Sheen's character is like what do you mean you never thought about that happening do you never fantasize about I think about killing myself all the fucking time right suicide like there's nothing easier because the ground is coming up 120 miles an hour, but it's just like... All you have to do is not pull. Dude, I feel like that is like one of the worst ways to go. I would think so. I'm just...

I'm like up there for like 10 minutes going like, yeah, I'm dying. Exactly. The second you jump out, you're like, this is the end of my mortal life. It's the end of my mortal life. You know what I mean? That's why I prefer the point and click method. Point and click is good. Right, the old revolver we call. Oh, I thought you meant like

killing yourself with a computer somehow. That's the same thing with me. Shumding my head into the monitor. Dan Aykroyd and gross point blank, but with a computer. Anyway. We're actually conflating two scenes, though, in the movie Terminal Velocity because they don't do any of this in the... No, they don't know. The first scene is just like... He said, I can't believe she jumped or whatever, the bounce part.

But then Charlie Sheen is hassled by the feds. Yeah, the FAA drops by. And then he's like, he's trying to figure out a way to save his ass. He's like, what if she maybe might have killed herself? And like, that's what he's like, you know, you never thought about it? I think about it all the time. It's just kind of like, oh, God, ditched bro. dark moments.

And he's, this is what he, A, the FAA, the cops, no one grabs this woman's bag or personal effects. Nobody asks for the videotape until James Gandalfini comes around. Who's a fake FAA guy? He's not even real. He's the DA. He's not even a guy. Oh, the DA, yeah, but he's pretending to be the ADA.

But he's a, he's a Ruski. He's a Ruski. I don't know, you know, you always hear in these movies and everything like FAA coming in to investigate whatever, but like they dropped the ball in terminal velocity they certainly did. Oh, absolutely. Because they just let it, they do close this place

down pretty quickly. This is the restaurant in your neighborhood with a C rating already and it's just, the sort of Democles has been waiting for this place. I mean, that's, the FAA, it's all bullshit. They don't care about jack shit. We got doors flying off Boeing. They're putting a C grade in the

window and that's it. You want us to make the ticket's cheaper? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're going to be doing that. No, no, no, no. They're going to be more expensive, actually. So Ditch is like, you know, he fucking ditches these FAA guys. He tells them, you know, what he's going to tell him in this interview. He kind of has that with Melvin Van Peebles because Melvin's like, I'm not going to lie for you, man. Yes. You know, I didn't fucking see what we're doing back there. He's got a great line. Like, sometimes you start thinking with your little head instead.

Yep. Which is so amazing because he does a penis reference. It is. Because he's like, you know, I locked her. I know that I did. I did it a thousand different times. Sometimes you think you did, you didn't. You know what I mean? And I like this with Melvin's character because this dude Noble,

he ain't staking his neck out for nobody. No, no, no, no. Fuck you, ditch. Yeah, like, I didn't see it, so I'm not going to, like, lie for you. I feel like, yeah, Noble's got a real cliff booth kind of a thing, lying got me yet.

And I ain't go to jail for fucking Charlie Sheet. I'll tell you that much. Exactly right. Because Charlie Sheen's been trying to get him up with the businessmen of the 16 year olds and he's been saying, no, sir, I don't want a part of that business. I make enough money. I just do the legitimate flights. Just the jump flights.

That's good for me. The Epstein flights, exactly. A couple of 50-year-old men who want to die but don't want to say it. I got a whole flight full of business and want to go to Epstein Island. Come on, Noble. So, because the FAA I guess didn't call the police

or anything like that, this woman's personal effects are still just at the hangar. Charlie Sheen funds the wallet and some keys. We are off to this lady's apartment. We've seen it before, but this apartment is fucking killer. It's a party. You know, it's Tucson,

so it's probably affordable. Yeah. She's probably paying $150 for this place. And it is very lethal weapony. I do really wide balcony where you can just run around apparently. I don't care for this in the slightest. Well, I kind of get that because it's

doesn't have any railing. It's just a flat thing. Because that's, when you look at it like they do have balconies but then like they jump over the wall onto these way too wide yes yeah pizza parts of like concrete that you can like run across that in any other movie the the hero would be like shimmying yeah he's very careful like full comfortable full clip just fucking booking it across this thing well that's good for escapes but uh i mean it is yeah it turns out he gets to her place he finds a picture hanging on the wall of the Statsia Kinski in a full jump outfit

and he's like, never jump before, huh? And he grabs it. And then this is when fucking Christopher McDonnell, you're the boyfriend. Dude, hits him in the head with a toilet seat cover, a toilet tank cover. throws up through a table and like this is like the night. Oh, it's so good. It's real like the fighting of this movie is very good.

It's going to see the broken glass of this coffee table like laying on Charlie Sheen's face during this struggle. It's amazing. Good visceral stuff. And he's like, come on boyfriend. where is, he's like, where's the body because the other, the other one's dead body is gone now. Right, right.

I do love him when he's investing in the apartment. He's sifting through LPs. Yes. All Springsteen. He's like, wow, got a real thing for the boss. And then has immediately hit on the head with that toilet tank cover. It's great. McDonald's about to stab him and then

Charlie Sheen rushes him, gets the best of him, gets the knife. And using this incredible ramp system is able to leave the apartment pretty quickly. pretty great. He peels out doing some crazy driving here, which I like, he's got some nice, like, Dodge Charger or something like that. Yeah, it looks pretty

cool. He peels out. McDonald foiled once again. Like, I feel like so much of this movie is like Christopher McDonald's character being like, shake harder boy. Like just, he gets fucked over at every turn. Really bad KGB agents here. Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.

Well, because you know, Ditch Brody did that jump not four minutes ago. That's Mr. Brody's. Well, good for Ditch Brody. Oh, my God. Yeah, this could use Richard Kiel, right? Oh, yeah. Love Richard. You won't make this jump, you jackass. By the way, RIP and Joe Flaherty, we just found out this afternoon.

Crazy. Don't be alarmed, Mr. Brody. It doesn't hurt that much. I'm thinking, Flaherty, that's a Farina, if I ever saw a while. Oh, yeah, big time. I'm telling you, you got a chance. might be on the big wall of dead people. Right.

Might be happening. The flash of names. The new flash names, that horrid shit. And I love Joe Flaherty. I mean, obviously, I know he, his big, probably the big TV role was, uh, the,

Freakis. Freakis, everybody loves him as a dad. SETV. SETV obviously humongous. Probably the movie height, I'm going to guess, is not, is, has to be. Are you Marty McFly? Oh, sure.

That's an iconic ending. That's an iconic role. It is. That dude, that Joe Flaherty, with those lines of dialogue at the end of Back to the Future to Blue the Minds of the World revealing that Doc Brown was in 1885. You're absolutely right. That is the fucking that is the nexus of his career is that situation. But again, a reminder that SCTV is nowhere and it should be fucking streaming because there's brilliant, beautiful Canadian comedy out there

that we are being robbed of. That's true. You got a very limited supply John Candy here. We only got the movies. That's right. That's absolutely right. So he goes to this like scrapyard or whatever, this other fellow that's building this hilarious rocket car. Speaking of suicide, this guy is planning for it. Because the first thing, oh, he's like one of those land speed record guys.

You know what I mean? Which in Arizona that does exist. You know what I mean? Wasn't there that bad Anthony Hopkins movie? World fastest Indian? Yes. Yeah, where he's like in a rocket car or some shit. Yeah, I skipped right over that.

This shit does exist, but he's like... Did your dad know any of these guys? No, I didn't... Oh, his old man was in some rocket car shit. You don't do a rocket car in the Bronx, man. That's not happening. Stephen, we're going to the salt flats. They tried to do a rocket car.

They fucking blew right across the grand concourse, killed a bunch of shit in the zoo. It's unbelievable. Now, I'm almost certified as a skydiver. They say I can do this one in one. I'm certified. That's why the Bronx was burning. But...

Yes. This guy very... Very specifically, because Charlie, he's asking him, like, he's like his knife expert. He's like, do you know what this knife is? And he's like, I don't know. It's like, Cyrillic, how much do you want for it? Dude, so real quickly, Cyrillic, the alphabet that Russians use. Sure.

He's like, oh, it's surrealic. And Charlie Sheen's character is so stupid. He goes, oh, what, like Syria? And this dude does not follow up, like, no moron, not Syria. But he's like, so how's it go with the rocket? I said, yeah, it's almost done. He's like, you got breaks on this thing. He's like, I don't want breaks.

Like, you're going to kill yourself. He's like, that's the. idea. Yeah, but what a thrill. What a ride. What the fuck. What I need from this guy is like, yeah, the cancer's bad. It's back. It's not operable. So I'm going to go out. This is my way, baby. This is the way I've been battling cancer. Spending years constructing a rocket car from scraps to kill myself. Instead of going to the doctor or paying for those x-rays, I decided to use that money to build a rocket car, a rocket coffin. Well, ditch. The thing is, is I've killed three wives and they haven't found me yet.

So I might as well go this way Before the Fedi Rale is coming Where did I put those wives in a ditch Just like you Ironically enough Not just because Dropsode 2 But this movie opened right behind One of my favorite movies of all time

Favorite episode of all time Time cop Oh yeah That's kind of also a rocket car Definitely a rocket car To travel through time Yeah, absolutely So we go back to the jump center

The FAA has boarded this place up Absolutely A real better safe than sorry situation if I ever saw one. If for my birthday, me and my buddies drive out and we find this place boarded up, I am never going back. It's like, no, no, no, we got

cleared of all charges. No, no, no. You might as well turn this into literally any other business. Yes. I ain't shopping here. So he's walking around the hangar and whatnot. Everything's closed up and shit. And then he hears a little retta-tat-tat. And this is

I don't know if I mentioned this, but today was the first time I've ever seen this movie and I usually when I say that it comes along with the first time and last time no I'll be I'll be turned it back man love it but I I remember when it happened but I didn't remember in the lead up

you guys telling me that Gandalfini's in this movie and here he is as fake ADA Pinkwater yeah investigating this woman's death first of all that name you know it's fake yeah pink water yeah he's all he's doing his big debishi oh hi to be a bed pink water.

Oh, this dust. I get this dust in my face. It's ridiculous. I still like him in this movie, even though I don't buy him as a Russian, but I really like this little nebish performance. The district attorney, pinko, I mean, pink water. Yeah, pretty much. Co-red. Oh, I mean, Fred, no. Shit, I did it again. Oh, damn it. Oh, shit.

Stress, voice, you got fuck. Yeah, I do love him complaining about the dust, which is really fantastic. It was just so much dust in my face. Oh, my goodness gracious. They go into the... Now we're just talking about the event. He, and I mean, like, Charlie, she ditch Brody.

About to... And he's like, well, you know, what I'm trying to figure out is whether or not we're going to charge you with manslaughter for the what happened. And ditched birdies, well, yeah, you know. So yesterday, this wet dream comes walking into my... And I'm like, dude, you're talking to the police.

Are you fucking crazy? First of all, I had a psychosexual episode. I wanted to kill and fuck this woman. You got to talk to them in the way you think they would also be talking about her. Yes. And probably not far off. These hardened fucking cops and the ABAs, they've seen it all 1,000. I would just be like this young lady came in.

I believe she was 24, 25 possibly. Came in, blood hair, 5.6. Was she a wet dream? Did you have a wet dream while you matter? Yes, I did she had a pair of tinnies that would make your bed bed beg for buttermil. Do you ever see the movie Cat People? Oh, man. Oh, fantastic.

John heard in that movie, unsung acting hero. What does he say, though? He's like, she did for bullshit what Stonehenge did for rocks. What a lot. It's pretty great. And this is one of those lines. There's another one later where he's like, I'm trying to leave this whole mess in my rear view or whatever.

Like, they have him talk like some sort of pseudo film noir character. It's pretty cool. There's a world in which this could be a film noir. I mean, it has to be a good movie. But, I mean, like, you know, the double cross, the, the wrong man, the wrong man, the lady, fake droid death. It's a little too uncomplicated. It's just, it kind of, it just goes straight forward. It's A to B to C. Just imagine like Humphrey Bogart as a skydow. I'm not going to jump out of a plane, see, you fucking Martin. Wait, are we bombing the Germans? No, then fuck it. I've been hearing about this tandem thing. Can I put my dick in you?

Me and Lauren are going to tandem jump. Yeah, me and this 17-year-old girl are going to start date and see. I can't believe she bounced, Reek. Watching her jump out, she bounced. Reek, don't let them bounce me, Reek. I guess there'll be no laughing tonight when you watch Leno later.

Yeah, that's right. I closed down the cafe, got home at 11.30. It's just a time for Leno, see. Another bogey bounce. Oh, yeah. I guess you'll be not laughing with Jack Paws on TV. But yeah, so Gandelfini's trying to get to the bottom of it.

And they watch back the, or sheen watches back. Because the scene ends with Gandolphini being like, are you sure there's not like a tape of it in nothing? And he's like, no, there definitely is not officer of the court. There is a tape. Yeah, he doesn't realize that Robocam has a tape and he watches it. And in the tape, there's a second played because that's what she said. is there a second place? Oh my God,

it's a second plane. And so this could exonerate him, but he's going to I think this is when he sees the other plane like flying around and he drives around his fucking motorcycle. He chases the plane with his motorcycle. Yes. Yeah, that's right. Which, where does that fucking lead him?

The plane ditched the plane. This is when he gets to when he beats up with the Stastikinsky and the other guy. Oh, right. Because he goes, it's like this abandoned gas station and he walks in and he's trying to figure out what's going on. He sees the plane has landed like right outside the gas station. He walks into the service area

and in the back like employee area. He sees, uh-oh, here's the orange jumpsuit that she was wearing with the name of the you know, air jump academy on it. You know, it's just not nearly enough pornography in this place. I don't know. I don't think this is for real. You're totally right, dude. In some sort of abandoned gas station in the middle of the desert like this, papered with pornography. Either that or it's like hills have eyes

scenario. Oh yes of course yeah. Like a bone couch or something. Yeah, exactly. It's a bone couch and it's a hillbilly fucking the porno magazine. He cut a little hole in it. If you skydiving you land in the wrong area, Pluto gets you you. I think Pluto, Saturn, Mercury.

Those dudes could have enjoyed some skydiving. You think so? What got the edge-offs in a positive way? In that primitive brain? Do you think they could have landed? Well, that's the other part of it, right? Like maybe, just maybe, with any luck, they're too stupid to pull the shoot. Well, that's, there's your problem right there. It's you do, they have to do tandem, of course. They're killing the person they're with immediately just had an instinct.

You're absolutely right. And then they're not pulling the court. They don't know what they're doing. They're dead. So that's two deaths. They really should have just been one. A bubble bounce. Oh, but then the super dog from Hills have eyes.

He's also skydying. So he's going after those guys. And he knows how to do it. He's already certified, by the way. Oh, wow. First jump, dog. That's a lie. Here's a photo of you after a jump.

But now I guess she's so mesmerizingly beautifully goes along with everything. It's just like, who's body? I'll tell you on the plane. Get on this plane. Because she's got this lurch motherfucker. This is an actor. Gary, what's this, hold on. He's in Twin Peaks.

Gary Bullock as, yeah, Sheriff Cable and Twin Peaks. Great face on this dude. Oh, hell yeah. Face, you could cut a roast on. Exactly. The kind you want to roll like this. Absolutely. He plays tall Georgia of the X-Files, if you can believe it.

Yeah, it was a 2000 episode, though, so I was like, I ain't doing research into that. You know it's terrible. But so, like, I'll tell you on the plane, you have to come with me. You have to, because he's like, if you come with me, I will go to the police and exonerate you fully for my death by showing them that I'm alive. I guess so. And this is what they do. this is what the movie, you say, Chris, that this movie is uncomplicated. I agree because there's a lot of questions that the movie poses in the first hour

that it answers with gold. And it's like, wait, what? It's like, no, it's gold. It's fine. Right. So the main plot, I guess, is there's a bunch of Russian gold or gold bound for Russia. That's for humanitarian efforts because the country's on the brink of collapse. But these former KGB agents headed by James Gendellini himself.

And McDonald's, my God. And Gandalfi want to use it to finance a coup to throw the country back into the dark ages. We're going back. And Gandalfini, of course, comes from behind and says very loudly, I love gold. And he kills Lurch, motherfucker. The funny thing, though, is like, they didn't need to do this whole crazy plot. They just had to wait a few years and then ex-KGB agent Vladimir Putin became president. Before he kills the Lurch guy, right?

What is this whole facility thing? We skydive into this tower. Which makes no... Oh, Jesus. It's a power plant thing. It's an impromptu like incursion into a facility. And she's just like, I'll walk you through it, ditch. And it must to be another line of like, what are you talking about, lady?

This is crazy. Yes. I thought you were the best. Well, I am the best. And I'll show you. The best gymnast? He's the best gymnast. He's the best gymnast skydiver.

and now super spy. What the fuck? This part is where it gets a very like handholdy video game. Yeah, he's doing all the shit and like she's in his ear like on a radio and she's like,

all right, go here. There's going to be a door. Turn right. Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, how do you know all this? And it's a really funny like he's in this office. Yeah. And he turns and it's her photo

and it's like employee of the month. Yeah, it is funny. But the KGB? I mean, well, I guess she's undercover in this thing or whatever. We hide a disc. There's a, there's a microfilm-esque element to this. I believe we're saying discette throughout this. It's hidden in the pole of a, like, a closet, that they, clothing hangar pole. Yeah. It's, like they, it's essentially like a golden eye on

mission, uh, level. Like, you just go up and he gets the thing. And of course, immediately Christopher McDonald and the, and number two are there. And Christopher McDonald must be so pissed because he's like, he looks up and he like, sees Gene is like all the way up here. It's like, fuck. It just starts, God damn. But remember, this discette has the, the charted course of the money plane.

Yes, of course. All the gold is on there. It's a money plane. It is a money plane. Is Kelsey Grammer on it, please? Yes. Still haven't seen buddy plate actually. I mean either.

Gotta get on it. Yeah. I want to. Chris Cameron, only one in the room that is seen. And as far as I can tell, loved money. Oh, yeah, yeah, I loved it. No, it's terrible. Joey Lawrence is, of course.

Joey Lawrence is in Moneyplane? Should we break a rule and do MoneyPlane? Sound off in the comments. We missed it when it came out. It's true. And I'm curious. I mean, the answer is yes. Yeah. I mean, there's always something to do. But my favorite part of this movie is Chris McDonnell chasing Charlie Sheet

and then going, ditch Brody! It's kind of like, you know, it's weird using the full name. It's like a criminal is like trying to outwit fucking Clint Eastwood and it's like, Harry Callahan. But it's not the full name. It's his preferred nickname.

We do get a line at some point where it's just like, yeah, you know, full name's Richard. You go by Rich and Dick and it sort of just slammed together. It became ditched. My name bounced into the other name. But he escapes by doing a base jump off of his tower. Oh, yeah, dude. Cowabunga used the extreme sports to get out of the spy situation,

much like our friend Ben Diesel. and some of them triple X movies, man. I live for this shit. And Christopher McDonald might have gotten him, but he gets to the top of this thing and has to stop. But yeah,

and he makes it for the base jump. He gets, they electrified the fence, but he gets over it. Yeah. But his foot touches it. You see like some sparks fly or whatever. And then they're running in the desert

because they're on the run here. No, that's right. We're going to meet at the fucking the rocket car guy's house. They're separated and he's like, we're going to meet at Highway 18. Sam surplus. Yeah, exactly.

And this is where he tells Gandalfini to meet them there because he thinks he's the DA. I want you to see this woman alive so I don't get the electric chair. Exactly. And this is some, some Primo Gandalfini. They're fucking waiting for the meet here. So good.

And he's like, wow, this is so exciting. Would you like asserts? That's my character's thing. Everybody remembers certs, breath fresh. It's something I do when I get nervous. I chew on a certs. I've had shirts before. They don't taste like cocaine.

Oh, shit, wrong pocket. We get him chewing a little bit. And, you know, Ditch had denied the certs. But then he's just like, give me one of those. Dude, then it's just a couple of guys having a chew, man. He's eating some shirts. Don't think I have ever had cert. Oh, is that right?

We don't chew them. You suck up. You suck it? You suck it. You suck it. If you're just chomping down and you're not sucking it. Then you're not freshening the breath appropriately. No, I don't think, I think I was too, my upbringing was too backwater for certs, I think.

That was the thing. We're a tick-tack clan, God damn it. We were. That was like the only thing. We lived like the fall of Russia. They have the airliftish shit in. It's the same difference, though. You're supposed to suck on tic tic tic.

You're not supposed to chew all the fucking t-tac. No, but I'm watching him. chomp on it. I was like, is this a chomper? I grew up. I grew up with a kid that fucking ate Tic Tacs like you were eating Eminem. Until one day his older brother caught him doing it. He's like, the fuck are you doing? Because the kid ate like a handful of Tick Tick. Oh my God. He's like, I'm just having some tic tacks. And he goes, you have like one of those at a time, you fucking idiot. And like, nice. Dude, the older brothers sealed the deal. That was the end of the Tick Tick Tick

phenomenon. What are they up to today? Those two. I don't know. No, you don't know. Haven't spoken to that family in a long time. Let's pop open Facebook. I got to say the late, the mid to late 90s really big on mints and gum technology. Altoids was, that was, I remember, omnipresent. And that was the only thing I ever shoplifted.

I had a little shoplifting phase where I would just steal some bits from the bodeg. You're confessing now. Oh, yeah. Get the steel cuffs on you, dude. But you want to rock a car through the Broncos. student. I remember the only time I ever tried to steal anything. It was a God, there was so much going on

in the store. I thought I could get away that someone had like 10 bucks on the counter. Oh, nice. I was trying to swipe some money. Wow. Just a cash theft, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the woman working there was like, that's not yours. Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry. Pretty much. Same with me. Like, I had a good gas going with this bodega where I would buy

something while I'm talking about. I got these big pockets. Oh, yeah. You're, you're fancy mouth what's that over there and it works a couple worked a couple times but I got caught one time I was like get the fuck out

I'd never come back and I was like sell me back in two weeks and get two weeks we didn't say that but I was back very very he didn't have shit to say but I never stole ever again

because I was so scared oh there you go you know what Steve lesson learned crime does not pay unless it actually does seems to do for a lot I stole a bunch and never got caught.

Oh, you fucking. You continued to do so. I've seen this fellow at work. Cam Reddy over there. He did you say you got caught stealing porno mags at that liquor store? Oh, I did get that happened once. That was last week, right?

But then I didn't even get caught by the store. It was an off-duty cop who got me on the way out. What? And he's just looking for an off-duty crime. And he didn't even, and he didn't even like, Like, what is this point break and off duty cops like risking it all to think you down? Not even, didn't even tell me to like go back to the guy and say like here. He's like, just go back and put it back.

And I'm like, okay, I'm still going to steal shit, you understand. Yeah, that's right. I sit outside this liquor store slash adult book store every day and I harass kids just like you all the time. And you're the first white one I did. Because it was so egregious. There was no way I couldn't. I was getting bored. But also, do me a favor, if you're going to do a bait switch with the KGB or whatever the fuck,

and you're going to do it at my house because I have room, could you call me first? I don't think he calls his buddy. He's just like, Sam's back yard. He's got a big backyard. He'll be drunk and asleep by then. He's got the rocket car. He might be dead for all I know. Maybe he finally did it.

His death is spectacular. I feel like he's probably this. guy Sam or whatever. He's seen his fair share of him. Sure. Oh, yeah. He's not going to get out of bed for this. Rich, full life, probably dying. That's why he's building the rocket car anyway. He's fine. This, so like, what, like

she shows up. She lands this plane. This dude Lex, the big lurch motherfucker's there. Yeah, Charlie Sheen's just like, no, let's go over to my guy. I think he's nervous or whatever. He's back at his car. And it's a magnificent sequence. I don't know if you notice. There's a little bit of night

vision going on. A little bit of night vision. happening right here. You better believe I noted that. A touch of night vision. You know, I'd been dead for years before the Charlie Sheen film Terminal Velocity came out. But from up on my cloud in heaven, I said,

you know what? Good on you for using night vision. Two chairs for toy. See our rollerblade roller ball. A lot episode. I'll listen to an episode about rollerblades. It's just us testing rollerblades.

Dude, that'd be great YouTube content. That's falling over. Hell, it's been a long time since I've skated, man. I can't skate at all. Oh, really? Oh, dude, I can't ice skate. I can't skate. I can't skate. I'm the same way. I crack my head open every time.

I can't rollerblade, but I can skate with the four. No. Roller skates. Yeah, like normal roller skates. Oh, rollerblading, dude, back in the day, I was playing street hockey. I might as well have been a fucking clerk in New Jersey. Look at you. My dad, also avid rollerblader.

in 1990s. I had an aunt and uncle tried to get into rollerblading like after I was, you know, into it or whatever. And they were way into, too much into the safety of it all. Like we're talking knee pads,

elbow pads and helmets. And I was like, I'm just skating freely, you guys. That looks like it sucks. Well, for kids at home listening. Most of our listeners are young children. Get a helmet on.

Yeah, please. Safety first. But so basically, like, they turned their back for one second on big lurch motherfucker and wouldn't you know what James Gendellini just ganks his throat totally it's great it's great yeah and then we get this whole

like what like a shootout ensues because McDonald shows up and my god this Sam's the Sam guy the rocket car manufacturer walks out because there's people shooting on his line with a bazooka and I guess he blows up Charlie Sheen's car here is the idea because that's the joke is like

McDonald and everybody shows up and we're using like machine guns And it just shoots the shit out of his car. And he's got like, oh, no, my car or whatever. And then, like, we are continuing the joke because this dude comes out with this rocket launcher, which I legally appurchase. Fucking 2A. God damn it. And then he launches it and it hits Charlie Sheen's car and officially kills it.

I did make this and was going to use it on myself. But I will use it for this now to help you out, ditch. You kill yourself by shooting yourself in the first. face with a rocket launcher. That guy wanted to go. You can't even do like the shotgun with the toe. You've got to have like a pulley system. The rocket launcher is got to be like, you know, 10 feet away. No, no, no. Here's how you can easily kill yourself with a rocket launcher. You point at the ground. Oh, yeah. Oh, done. So you light up feet first, but who doesn't? Also, this guy has got plenty of time. He could do the pulley system. Yeah, exactly. This guy's just there on day.

That would be cool, though. Yeah, like a Rube Goldberg machine that murder yourself with a bazook. But no, he get shot immediately by McDonald's. Yes, with a machine gun. And the only way out, would you guess, is this poorly set up rocket car that we have? So, we're on the rocket car. It's exciting. It's going 300 miles an hour or whatever.

The trailer. This is all over the trailer. The what's called when the ejector seat? Yes. Yes. You get the image of them in the ejector seat. Extremely diehard two. Big time. But it builds on it. The effect looks better. And it's two people instead of just John

claim. That's true. No arguments there. Because they're going and they're about to hit a wall and says have a nice day. Yep. Because that's what that. Or had a nice day. That's the last thing that dude wants to say. Yikes, dude. Grim shit for Sam. Well, he got his wish. She's dead. Yeah. Yeah. But not the way

he intended though. So you know that means that's a ghost looking for retribution. But at the same time, suicide, right? A lot of the faiths don't look kindly on that. Exactly. But here you go. You're dying with a bazook in your hand. That's like Valhalla material. You're up there with the Northman. You're fine.

That's a solid Klingon death. I was going to say you might want to have in Klingon heaven. Like, hey, wow, pretty sweet. Kronos was real. Wow, I thought it was Catholicism, but it's whatever fucking weirdo Klingon shit religion. Roddenberry was right? God damn it.

That would be amazing. Yeah, Roddenberry was visited by actual aliens that were Klingons and he just wrote into his stupid story. You know what? And he just made it a stupid story and not a fake religion. Right. Yeah. But yeah. So they inject and now they're on the run and they find some ramshackle house. They hide a helicopter looks at the house. Now they know they're kind of safe. And we could have our, you know, exposition party here. We're drinking tequila. Oh my God.

Drinking some mescal. Mescal. Apologies. Oh my God. Yeah. You got to fucking swallow the worm. You swallowed the worm. Well, I was trained to swallow a lot of things. Just watch out I might marry you. If there were ever aligned to terrify you and give you a boner at the same time. It's insane. It's just like you swallowed the worm. I guess you probably swallow cum too. Wow, this chick likes to party. I guess maybe you'll swallow my load

on our wedding. You know what girls like about me is my wit. A quick question. A lot of I'm thinking about it. What else were you trained to swallow if not? I mean, probably come, sure. But like, so in a tactical sense, what are you tactically swallowing? I would guess

mini cassette tapes wrapped in wax like I saw. Okay. Okay. All right. That's good. The Soviets trained me to compete against Joey Chestnut. I hid hot dog after hot dog. If you don't eat hot dog eating contest, America wins Cold War.

Now get open throat. But Russia, we do it stronger than you are. We had the giant snorceges to swallow each and every time. So when I get here to your pitiful Corny Island, it was nothing to take down Joey Chestnut. She's like Birdo over here.

We take that Joey Chestnut. We put bullet in his head. Oh, right. Joey Chestnut, man, that dude's a Russian operative possibly. Absolutely. I'm just asking questions. I think we should freeze his assets. But earlier in the movie, look, he says when she's like, where is the cylinder?

He's like, it's in my car. His car explodes. So we figure that that's, you know, that's the end of that. They're fooling around. She tells this whole story about she's got a. family back in Russia, her mother, brother, a dog that has three legs. Correct. And

they're making it out, just like, oh, what is that? That he's like, what? Oh, that's that cylinder you're looking for. He does try to make a boner reference here. He's like, well, that's just the natural biological response. My dick is on my chest. My dick is also

the McGuffin. Well, it's kind of funny is she keeps saying to him numerous times. Way back even when they first meet and they're on the plane, And she's like, why do you want to, there's definitely more to you than this. Why are you like this like sex joke machine guy? Like you're deeper than that. He's like, actually I'm not.

And I think the movie proves he's not. Like he's not at all. And what I love about it too is like this is indeed a, you know, the wrong man kind of on the run sort of road movie, except it never leaves Arizona, whatever. But I love, let's dial that back. like and appreciate the fact that in this movie, like, Sheen's character is just the Kate

Capshot. Like, he's the fucking guy who can't do anything. He doesn't want like, there's the great shit where he's like, ah, no, the damn guns broken. And she's like, the safety's on your fucking idiot. And, like, Nastassi Akinsky's the one that's like getting shit done through most of the movie. Which would make more sense in that facility

scene, if she's the one that goes in there breaks a couple of necks, you know, oh, wow, she's like really fucking tough. You know what I mean? Like, set her up a little bit. because you know it's fun it's great she's fun to watch totally totally great in this movie I was pretty surprised by that fact

but she was really great in this movie but she realized oh my God you have the thing the thing is a mini-disc she puts in some stupid game genie looking motherfucking thing whatever with this device it's the location of the plane so they go

to the airstrip where the plane is and they find the gold oh good finally yes we also get like the like oh yeah here's I keep pictures of me on the cover of Sports Illustrated in my jacket sure and she's laughing like

oh look at your shitty haircut or whatever and she tries to give it back and he's like no no no I have more which reminds me one of the things that I think is pretty rad about this movie is like the movie knows how ridiculous it is and Photoshop

because of that a lot of what's going on with Sheen's dialogue comes off very hot shots like this whole thing about like oh he's supposed to be this action whatever but oh he was also training for 10 years to be an Olympic gymnast and he carries cards around like that's such a Topper Harley thing to do oh I mean I mean if we'll get to it when we say what we liked about this week but like my main issue is that like he's kind of in the middle he's neither an action hero nor is he much of a big comic relief I have like smiled at things he says in this I think it's like clever or whatever right I'm not like ha ha Like hot shots. We're on to something like Steve said, like it should be Natasha Kinski being the big super spy. And he's the Rob Schneider comedy kind of side character. Yeah, that would be more interesting.

But then again, you also have to have Kinski in this for much more. And you have to have more about her whole thing with the KGB. What did her Gandalfini get into? Surprise, surprise. We learn fucking nothing about that. We get to see him on the fucking cover of Sports Illustrated five times. But with Andrew's point about the film noir stuff, it's like he's like an every man

broiled in a situation. Everyman skydiver, yeah, sure. Your fucking father was one. That's an every man. That's an every man. But he's not an interesting man is the problem. He's just this dude. He's a mimbo.

I mean, that's the ultimate thing. He's a mimbo that he wants to fuck. And he does a lot of like, hey, woman. Because I mean, I think if this movie was made 10 years later, it probably would have been what you're, talking about Chris, where they would actually allow a woman to lead an action movie, but they just would not do that in the mid-90s.

But then it would be... I mean, Cynthia Rothrock is right there. Yeah, but listen. Oh, are you talking about real movies? Excuse me. Oh, I thought we were talking about movies on the whole, but you're talking about real movies. Rock is real movies. If they moved this up a decade to the 2000s, it would be Milo Jovovich and fucking Chris Klein, and it would be unwatchew.

That's very true. You know what? It's closest to is Long Kiss Good Night. Yes. is because she is the thing. Yes, that's true. But Samuel Jackson also has agency in that. Yeah, he does not just shoot a gun at least. Yes. Yeah, he's a little more with it than this character, which, yeah, he's just a skydiving

mimbo. That's all it is. It's a dumb screenplay, but it's kind of fun. They're on this plane. She explains, oh, this is all the gold. It was going to save Russia and they're going to use it to buy Russia or something. Bad line that he really steps in it here. And it's only with, you know, the deceased.

but they're on this plane and he's like, oh, my God, smells like bad airline food here. And she moves this curtain and it's just this totally murdered flight crew. No, no, no, it's not food. That's the stench of death. And this is what the first of two more times he's going to say. He's like, oh, wow, I always wanted Russian gold. Hey, remember that back story I have?

Is that paying that off in any way? I'm not going to do any gymnastics whatsoever. No. But I will say Russian gold. Oh, right. Yeah. I just got it. Yeah, the Olympics.

But it's like, you know, the IOC's making them medals. It's not being distilled from some Russian gold line. As we just say, he's a Mimbo. You don't know this shit. Very true. But also, if I found an Olympic medal in the street and I was like, hey, cool, I wanted Olympic medal. Like, no, you found it.

You know what I mean? Earned it. And then you're clearly having it melted down for financial reasons. But I'm wearing it all the time. At the end of the movie, he wins a medal. He does. We'll get there. Finally. So, so, uh, the number two goes on the plane, long cat and mouse sequence about,

kind of too long as much as I really, really like this movie, kind of too long here. I do like, though, where he's like, hey, uh, is there any like irradiated shit on this plane as you worry about or whatever? And she's like, uh, oh yeah, actually, you know, front facing or outward facing genitalia kind of dangerous situation. You should put this coffee urn lid, you know, in front of your dick or whatever, and he goes, like, he goes back and finds her, looking at the gold.

She's like, I told you to get out of here, whatever. He goes, what, I got my coffee tron dick defender on? Coffee trot, dick defender. Kind of great. We do get, yeah, so he saw the gold. So the next sequence is they go to like a truck stop and it's an exposition dump. Oh, yeah. About what we already said about the gold to finance. 600 million dollars, we're told.

Well, this is the, uh, sticking together is what good waffles do coffee shop. Yes, yes. And then she does like this photo shoot in the photo booths with today's newspaper. Ditch did not kill me. And then what is she like five easy pieces him here? Basically. He five easy pieces her

because she's like, she comes out. She's like, I need your help. And he's like, lady, you but play at me this whole time and blah, blah, blah. And like you're just just a spy. Like you sure fucked me for someone I haven't slept with. Yeah. Yeah. For someone I haven't slept with it, you've been fucking me a lot or

whatever it is. And this might I remind you, they are in a quiet hotel bar. Yeah. Having this massive argument and I do love all, like she storms out and he's left at this bar and he's looking around and all the people that were like friendly to them on the way in are staring at this guy and he's like, all right, yeah, what? I'm the bad guy now. I'm fine. And I am Charlie Sheen. I'm Charlie Sheen yelling at an olden to coffee shop.

This is very familiar to me. But so he decides to blow it, go home. And great thing here, like, to, because she drives off in the van. And he's like, oh, I'm going to go chase after her. And the way that he does that, because he has no means of conveyance as he goes to a car wash and steals this, like, Lambo or some insane sports car. Right. And I do like this, this clueless rich guy who, like, sees his car speeding down the street.

And he's like, wow, I got one just like it. It's pretty funny. It's very like Michael Bay joke, actually. It is. Michael Bay joke, you're right. Or the dude from those, the two speed movies, the dude with the dreds who gets his car fucked up in the second one. But I like that guy, just his, just the casting.

And I like the bartender. And I like the guy who he makes a deputy just because they look such like lived in faces. Dude, the guy who he makes a deputy dude. Did you not recognize? No, I did not. Who is this guy? Rance Howard. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, dude. That makes sense. Dude, this movie, you got Rance Howard? Give him the finger later. That's amazing. As a change of heart, he's about to go home. But he finds the picture that she left him.

Right. That exonerates him. He's like, oh, she was exonerating me and like, now we're in love. That's right. Now we're in love, specifically now we're in love. We're going to be big. I'm going to be here. He steals the car.

Right. He finds the van. There's blood prints on it. What's going on? And because, I mean, like, it was definitely this is written in the script because why he got this role, Gadelphidi, I'm guaranteeing you, was because the year before your romance came out. And it's kind of the same role. It's kind of the same role. And even so, they're like, so you're going to like knock this little girl around

a little bit. She's a small woman. You're going to knock her around. That's what you do, right? That's your thing. Come on. Do the thing with Pritchin. Do the scene. I'm trying to distance myself from some of those roles. Yes. Heaven helped me with my career defining role as a guy who kind of knocks around. women. I guess we'll see what time has to say about that. Yeah, do that in your personal life like me. But he sees

Krista now is her, she is, she goes by Chris before she's an out KGB agent. Yeah, she's outed. She's Krista. He spies her getting stuffed into the trunk of Christopher McDonald's red sports car. Yes. Which is kind of great. Loaded into this plane.

It's the money plane folks or whatever. The money's on it. We're using like a fucking huge forklift to put all this gold on the car. And I do love Gandalfini, right? The relationship such as it is between Gandalfini and Chris McDonald's character is great. Very antagonistic. He's like, what do you doing? Get on the plane.

He's like, this is a very rare sports car bomb a blog, American beauty, whatever. Like, I want to take it with me. He's like, get your car on the plane. And then do yourself of a favor, never talk to me ever again. He's so furious. Take the ridiculous car on the plane. The ridiculous cards. Oh, you fucking kidding me, Christopher.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, take the capitalist nightmare on the plane and shut the fuck up. But, yeah, so the plane's taken off, and this is where he deputizes Rance Howard because he's pretending to be an officer from the FAA. He's like, repeat after me, and Rance Howard right, I'll solemnly swear. He's good at it.

I mean, it's very funny. And I do love he's like, oh, you got to call the fucking cop. get him down here, whatever. And it's a really great, like, what are you doing? The plane's taking off. And he's like, I'm putting in the pin code for my calling card.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. 10, 220. Seriously. I mean, it's kind of funny because it's like, I don't know, this dude's at work.

Like, add an, you know, an air strip, he's in a hangar. There's no landline that's not a pay phone. What are you doing? Just do $1,800 collect and leave a message really fast.

Like, hey, the Russians are taking this plane. I would cut off. I got a call back again. And then, it's Bob We add a baby It's the Russians

Classic commercial I'm gonna use Totally What was it God I saw the commercial For it the other day 2220 No that's not it

2222 2 0 What was the one Kratatop Was in the commercial God 22 27 No god damn

I prefer the Dennis Miller one personally But instead they have They rants Howard flies up in the biplane, give us him the spare shoot, and now he can use his one

superpower. Exactly. Let me tell you something. There's always a canal or a fjord. There's always a reason to skydash. Real nightboat situation. Exactly. Night jump, absolutely. Which he does claim to have invented earlier in the film. Night jumping.

I invented night jumping. Did you really ditch? That seems a bit much. I feel like maybe the war invented. Yeah, probably. Just like Travis Kelsey invented the fade. Jesus Christ. What fade are we talking about? His haircuts. There was a whole fucking article about

it's a new kind of haircut. That people have been having for 50 fucking years. Don't read articles. I got to say it right now. Chris Cabin, I think, my friend, and we've been friends for a long time, I can tell you this, I think you're a little too online. This was in the New York Times.

Go, fuck yourself. Yeah, New York Times.com, motherfucker. That's what that was. Put that rag in the garbage along with the New York. worker. Yes. And yeah, it was this Travis Gelsi article. It was right next to all their great op-eds about trans kids. Absolutely.

It's a fan. No, you should be reading is Jump, the Skydiving News Network print supplemental that comes out every every Sunday. There's a giant expose on Jonathan Rope or whatever his name is. Richard Rope. Richard Rope. Dick Rope. Not, not Richard Roper.

No, no, no. No, but weirdly, though, Richard Roper is the film critic for Jump. Of course, yeah. where you've got to start. And he just, he just reviews, I guess we're just doing Terminal Velocity again. I mean, they didn't make another skydiving movie. You can rate it how, you know,

instead of thumbs up, thumbs down, it's like, is this a tandem jump? Oh, it's a solo play. Right, exactly. That's where you know it's good. Uh-huh. Tandums for cowards. And then night jump is like,

put the kids to bed before you watch this one. It's the TVMA of skydiving ratings. Exactly. but so yeah he does and it's kind of again look at this kind of but it's just fun there's no kind of dude this is incredible this is all a dude on the side

of a biplane doing these stunts there ain't a fucking computer for a hundred miles well he's like all right he's like now what I need you to do is turn the plane over and then I'll be on this wing and you turn it over again and I'll be on that wing and I'll be facing so I can grab on to the plane

what's that excuse me I was convinced that Rance Howard was going to fuck that up because I wasn't even following what he was saying. But man, like, you grab onto the edge of this plane and then the biplane leaves, I'm like, oh my God, now what? You know, like, exactly. Are you going to

just pull yourself up? Well, that's, that is the major problem here. The real challenge is doing a pull-up. Like, that, all this stuff is easy, peasy. But this is where gymnastics, yeah. Exactly. You know, you got upper body strength. Oh, well, then why is he struggling? He should be able to,

whoop, right? Because the script fucked up. There should have been just a line about that and he doesn't well. It's like, come on, come on. You're trying to do this in Moscow. 1980, let's do it. Yeah, my routines weren't that great. But me just getting up on the parallel bar is fantastic. He just closes his eyes and he just sees Jimmy Carter saying, no, you can't go. No, you can't go. We're going to boycott these Olympics. We're going to boycott these Olympics. We're going to boycott these Olympics. I'll ruin your life. I'll ruin your life. He actually pulls the plane down to the ground out of anger somehow. He just Does it? Decade of training for nothing. This is a great sequence though

because he gets into the car to try to open the trunk so that she can get out. And McDonald comes in and he just drives into his knees. Yes. So cool. I mean, compare this to, I mean, a movie that does pretty much the same thing. Uncharted. That shitty uncharted movie. Oh. It looks like

dogs. You don't believe a second of it. I mean, not that I believe that, oh my God, Charlie Sheen's flat. But I believe the character's doing. I believe the fucking stunt people are on a plane that's falling through the sky because you're actually looking at that shit. Exactly. Like it's just, yeah, it's, he gets

in the car, he drives into his legs and then he drives off the fucking thing and McDonald is holding on to the car. It's so good. It's so fucking crazy. It's so fucking crazy, yes. He's screaming, give me your shoot. And he's like pointing the gut and it's like, no.

I mean, he's that way. And he punches him and eventually he loses his hold and is free falling and start shooting up at the car beautiful moment. That's pretty great. And again, all this stuff is every time somebody even, like, even McDonald is another stunt guy who obviously has a shoot under his jacket or whatever, however they do it. But it's like, it's crazy to watch this show.

Like you see that dude like playing McDonald fall off the car and fly away. And you're like, that dude's splatton somewhere. Because again, if we were doing this now, we would just be like, oh, it would just CGI. It's just CGI. And now Charlie Sheen has to cross. The stuntman has to crawl around this car as it's turning and try to open the trunk with this key.

Nice little insert shots of like trying to get this key in there and a lot of, you know, you know they're going to make it, but it's a nice moment of suspense. My mouth was right up, wide open, dude. I want a myth busters on this. Can you even do that? Yeah, you know what?

Send those ginger pricks up into a plane and toss them out. Here's the thing, those dudes have ruined so much fun for people. I don't want to know. I don't give a shit. Yeah. It depends. If the thing's upside down, absolutely not.

If it's right side up, I'm pretty sure once you put the thing, the key into the trunk, the trunk is just going to rip off. Like, it's just going to like, pop right off. It is kind of cool, though, that, like, you can see the dude,

like, moving the car into his... I mean, this is one of the wildest things I've ever seen in a movie. It's a really cool stuff. Yeah, it's like he's Spider-Man all of a sudden. And he has, like, so much time to do it. He gets her out. He has like a line too.

You should not have any lines. Yeah, let's keep our mouth closed. You know what? Why don't we start chittering when we get on the ground? What's great to is like where they're falling and they're like open the shoot and then it's like, oh no, windmills. When will people learn? I told you. I told.

Look at them. They ruined them. My favorite movie, Tribunal Velasca. They ruined it. It's totally unbelievable. Charlie Sheen's character did not get cancer from a windmill. I can't believe it. And that son of a bitch, JJ Abrams ripped it off for Mission Impossible 3, the son of a bitch.

The line, by the way, is he goes, as they're falling, like, well, we finally got our tandem jump in. Was it good for you, too? My dick was out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So they narrowly escaped the windmills, but it'll come into play later. It sure will. Very quickly. Not much later. There's like gas or something leaking out of the plane so those surviving members of McDonald's crew land the plane they think they're like the cops are coming in the distance they think everything's fine we can relax for a second but uh-oh skydiving gandolvini oh dude is skydiving gandolvini i didn't see this coming and he like kicks fucking she right as they're about to kiss or something beautiful moment yeah and he's got the knife he stabs him in the back and i mean like it's like that's her in the best yeah this is for you

ditch like the zodiac scene And he does Because he's a big Russian dude And he's Gailffini This bear hug dude Oh yes Hug him to death His special move dude

It's like so good Press A Blanca Just do it Yeah he's charging up Zan Geef Zagiev apology Yeah Give me that spine shatterer

Dude totally So then Charlie Sheen grabs His like extra shoot The backup shoot Got I remember there's always a backup shoot That's good to know And then it takes them into the windmills Oh fuck it's great

And you know, here's a thing, too, is, like, it is the exact same amount of, you know, affect or effect, you know, the way they do it in this movie, as it would be if you saw a computer James Gandalfini actually fly into it and maybe even a little bit better, a little more artistic, right? It's like, you see them flies like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then it just cuts to these fucking twin turbines, and they're going around and eventually one is just covered in blood. And you're like, I got it.

I didn't need a stupid cartoon flying into it. I understand. My brain was able to put it together. But if you could have gotten a dummy with a watermelon on its head. Oh, now we're talking. See, you know, then I might have been happy. If it was practical, I wouldn't be talking shit. Absolutely.

Yeah, you want to try that? They should definitely do that. Just like paint a watermelon like a pink on the watermelon. Oh, God, it would look so good. Especially, oh, like a little bit from far away. you couldn't tell the difference. No, come on. That looks like a girlfriend

I had once, Kurt Splat. I could do that, Mark. I could skydive, Mark. I could do what Lano does. Remember that? It has never caused me more pain to say this, but no, you couldn't. No, you have to look at that.

There are plenty of people who could do what J. Leno does. You are not one of them. And then the end of this movie happens. It's incredible. It's insane. It should just be them kissing. like, oh, we made it.

You're going to make it, babe. And that's it. Let's just tongue kiss in the desert. We'll know that everything works out. No, we, the Skydiving Academy, which we haven't given a shit about for an hour. It's been closed the whole movie. Is open again and Joe gets, the girl with the, the, the, the girl with the, the, the, the, the girl with the, the, the, the, the coach is like, Joe, I got a postcard from ditch. Girl with Crutches, by the way, played Shelley in the first Crow movie.

There you go. She's the inspiration for his. return as a demonic hero. But they get this big postcard and someone's like, ha ha, he did it, he made it. He finally made it. He finally made it to Moscow. Oh, yes. And they're

and like, we cut to Moscow and it's actually, they filmed in Russia. They went there. I mean, I was blown away, dude, because they're like, oh, he finally got there. He finally got there. And I'm like, all right. Ditch got to Russia. And then it fucking dissolves into this establishing shot of Krasnaya

plush. It is right there. And you're like, Oh, they're fucking there? What are we doing? Just cut to them in a sexy apartment. Exactly. Have a caviar off his dick and then we're done. But instead we get this like Boris Yeltsin knockoff heading the medals.

Because it is truly his movie. So the thing that has to do at the end is he gets his medal that Jimmy Carter snatched out of his fucking hands. It's true. It's incredible that this ends with a medal so everybody like Star Wars. It is like just like Star Wars. Every movie should end with a medal ceremony. Yeah, I agree.

Oppenheimer. Well, it's Oppenheimer just saying. Give you salmon and potato salads. But it won't be for you that metal is for them. They just, they bring out the corpse of lurch and be like into, here we go. Yeah, he was integral into the he's a total hero. Now bury him again. But this ends very much like another hot shots joke because like she gets a metal first.

And, you know, she's Russian and what? part of the KGB and you know whatever but like all of the you know military people in the audience salute her and blah blah and then Charlie gets his medal and then it's like the ditch salute game where it's like he's saluting and they do it and then he's like oh got it and he keeps doing it and he does like a quick like up and down well he also does like a thing where it's like I rode the bus here and my pants smell like poopy or whatever because he doesn't speak yeah he doesn't speak Russian so he says uh bus is don't work here. I'm an asshole.

And then she's like, whispers to the premiere or whatever it is. Like, oh, I think he just one too many skydives. That's his fucking problem. Which is amazing because that tells you, her saying that like, oh, I think he's had one too many jumps.

And the guy understands it. It's like, oh, it tells you that at some point, this guy, Norris Feltsin, like this fake Boris Yeltsin guy, was explained that his country was kind of saved by a professional's guy. And boy is his face red, and it's not from...

Meanwhile, a young Vlad Putin jumps on his hat. Next time I will do it. I will trust Gandalfini and Christopher McDonald to do this. Oh, yeah. Little Putes just saw that fucking pizza hook commercial with him in it. And was like, that's it. I'm fucking taking it over. That was Gorbachev in the...

That was Gorbachev, but my God. Little Puts, by the way, that's pretty good. We got to mention the last line of the movie. It's the most Charlie Sheen thing ever. love it so much. He gets the medal. And he's like, thank you. Very cool. Oh, yes. Very cool. The last line is the dog. He's in the blowout. He probably didn't even have a three-legged dog. That's ridiculous. Right. And then the dog is like, oh, tripod. I'm like, what, who cares? None of this is anything anyone should care about. They should have been, you know, at credits making out the desert.

It's three minutes too much. And they spent like a hundred thousand dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars. That's right. I mean, to go. go there and shoot on location for this? Yeah. This fucking Chubacca metal ceremony. Are you kidding me? If you'd go in there anyway, shoot a few scenes with Gandalfini and everyone else and the start of the movie leaving

Russia, right? Yeah, that's kind of cool. Well, but you don't want to make the, like, they're normalizing relations. So it's like, look, we're all nice. Yeah. You weren't terribly embarrassed and you know, fucked for good or anything like that. Yo, it's good.

Yeah. We just, you know, we, we fade out as the two of them are walking this three-legged dog along the river and that's the end of it, man. I go around the horn here. Final thoughts. Eric Siska. Yes, it is a recommend from me, the stunt work alone. At first, I was like,

you know, it is really dumb. Like a lot of the movies really dumb. So I was walking that tightrope of like, is this too dumb or is this too fun? And I think it's worth checking out no matter where you fall on that equation. There you go. Christopher Cabin.

I'm on the other side of that equation. I got to tell you, it's because of Sheen. I think almost any other kind of person who can handle this kind of role, who's like, even Emilio, honestly, are more charming or more quick to like, I want to feel something for him. The thing of that Charlie Sheen is he's funny. Like, I don't care about Charlie Sheen ever. I care about him in Wall Street because he's got Martin Sheen there who does make me care.

Sure. But Charlie Sheen doesn't do that. That's not what he does. IMD trivia had Nick Cage was offered this movie Much better I'll agree that's a better It's a trade up

Much much better And like that I would say If you are a big on stunts And stuff like that Watch it for that stuff It is worth that But any scene that is not involving there That or a fucking

McDonald's blonde haircut Is essentially just static to me Like it's nothing's happening Steve say that No, I love this movie. It's so stupid. It's a lot of fun. I had not seen it.

I saw a bunch of a kid, as I've said. I haven't seen it in about 15 years at least. And I was, I had a ball with it. The stunt work was really fun. Sheen, I think this is my favorite Sheen performance that we've done thus far.

I kind of agree with that because I think he's more of a realized persona now. Yes. Because I think even in Wall Street, he was a little wet behind the ears of what he was trying to do. Exactly. He's very,

He's very like, I know how to do this one thing, which is be like a quit machine and kind of like over it. And that's kind of my persona. And that, it kind of works here. Yeah. And obviously, Chris McDonnell is a fucking, as cane is pretty awesome.

And obviously, uh, get defeated. I'm never going to say, don't know, to get to feed it. And I do think Nastassia Kinski in a better movie could have done better, but she just didn't have much to do in this movie. Yeah. Um, this is a full-throated recommend. for me. I can't believe I waited 30 years to see this movie because this shit is like what my brain is dialed into. Give me the dumb. Give me the action. Give me the fucking IRL stunts. Absolutely. I was realizing and again, it's not from a place of liking him as a person. I think Sheen as a presence, especially like you were saying, Eric, like 87 Wall Street went behind the years. This is firmly he knows what he can and can't do in movies. And like, whether

or not he fits in this. He's doing the thing that I enjoyed watching him do in the 90s, even in fucking dog shit like arrival. And so like, I was kind of blown away by how much I like this and the fact that I'd never seen it. Pretty wild movie. Kinski, yeah, could have done a little more for her. I think she's pretty good in it. And Gandalfini, anytime you get the miracle of that guy showing up in a movie like this, pretty cool. Yeah, full-throated recommend, but that is going to do it for our conversation on Terminal Velocity.

If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies where if you are a subscriber at the $8 level or above, you're listening to this very episode commercial free right now. So if you're one of those folks

that has some problems with commercials, hey, head over to that Patreon. We've got a solution for you. Also, we've been mentioning Wall Street. That is the Sheenpril Influence, WLM for the month, of course. Now, we got some wild shit coming up here. Steve Saneck, the animation, damnation.

something that I think Eric pointed out a time traveler went back through the continuum and made just for us. Which is, it was a skeleton? Skeleton warriors. Skeleton warriors. Thank you. We haven't done it yet. I haven't watched you yet. It is a cartoon from 1994 and it's about

the skeletons coming to take over. Incredible. Love it. Love that. We should probably have a good conversation on that that is available on Patreon. We've got a gloop glossary coming up. Yes, on, I bring on my phone to remember what the fuck it is. You got to do it, dude.

Garrick face Lauren, and I cannot wait to tell these guys about Garrick face Lauren. Faces his call sign. Oh, uh, you will find out why. Oh, shit. Uh, of course, we are rocking a brand new top tier side show called appropriately too old for this shit. Uh, and this first series of too old for this shit, we are, uh, recapping every episode of X-Men 97, now on Disney Plus. That's been a boatload of fun. The response to it has been really positive.

We're so glad all the listeners are really digging on it. You want to get on that, folks, because it's an awesome cartoon that we're all really digging. And so the conversations have been really cool. Chris Cabin once in a lifetime also returns this month I've heard. Yes, and we will be talking about our favorite Dr. Beck in just what the doctor ordered the final of the Beck series. Right. The stock by my doctor movies. This is the final one with Eric Roberts, of course.

back in the saddle. A lot of fun. We've got a very uneven nexus this month, which I guarantee is the worst TOS episode. Oh, yeah. The one with Abraham Lincoln. Yes, the Savage Curtain. And we are also talking about reunion on TNG this month.

Which is some solid wharf, Klingon political intrigue shit, which is cool. Melrode 210. You know, those kids are just staying crazy over there in California. I mean, worst of the TOS. We got the worst 90210. episode ever to air is also on that one. You definitely wanted them to deal with a gang related school shooting at a football game on that show. Melrose Place this month is a spicy

meatball with that Mike Mancini going nuts so. Dude, that guy's a fucking psycho and it's awesome. Just accumulating wives like fucking Bill Paxton on a little, a big love, man. And on top of that, there's commentary tracks. You're, you're only get, if you're just a free feeder, which is totally fine and I respect you. But you're missing out on like most of the progress. The vast majority in our work. Absolutely. So you might want to check that out. Patreon.com

slash we hate movies. Now here we go Sheenpro. As we're calling this rolls on next week, Steve Sadek. Somehow, and we didn't do this on purpose. Both movies, both this and next week's movie, the arrival written by David Tui. They're like best buds.

Oh, I didn't know that at all. The arrival, that's the alien joint with like, wait, we're doing two-y-touis together? Two, two, two-too-too-too-y-too-y-too-y-too-y-too-y-too-y-a. Yeah, it's, the, the legs bend backwards and Ron Silver does something else. Oh, baby. Oh, man, it's been a minute since I've seen this movie, but don't worry about it. It was a movie that I rented no fewer than four times.

And don't forget to come see us in Atlanta on April 25th and Houston, Texas, May 14th, and Austin, Texas, May 15th. absolutely. So until next week with the arrival and Charlie Sheen wearing some real dumb glasses. I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Seda. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Thank you.