We Hate Movies - S14 Ep735: The Arrival (1996)

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

“This is kinda like Contact for stupid people?” - Steve On this week’s episode, we’re in the back-half of SHEENPRIL with a chat about the fairly solid, alien invasion b-picture, The Arrival! What kind of character name is Charlie’s here, with this Zane Zaminsky? If this movie was more popular, would there have been Zane Zaminsky Halloween costumes with the glasses, buzzed haircut and goatee? How incredible was the late Ron Silver at playing these great scumbag characters? And what were they thinking with killing off Lindsay Crouse’s with those stupid scorpions? PLUS: This episode has enough Ron Silver impressions to last a lifetime!  The Arrival stars Charlie Sheen, Ron Silver, Lindsay Crouse, Teri Polo, Richard Schiff, Leon Rippy, and Ángel de la Peña as Skeleton Man; directed by David Twohy. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That's RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! ATLANTA! We’ll catch you THIS THURSDAY, April 25th, at City Winery as we play our first show in SEVEN years! We’ll be talking about the outrageous Gerard Butler sci-fi action film, Gamer! And be sure to get on the trolley and catch next month’s WHM Texas Two-Step as we make our Houston debut on May 14th, talking Robocop 2 at the Houston Improv, followed by Night 2 in Austin, where we’ll be doing a We Love Movies episode on From Dusk Till Dawn at Cap City Comedy! Check out our website for all ticketing info! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new SHEENPRIL, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!

This week on the program, it's a movie where Charlie Sheen plays a guy named Zane. It's the arrival. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Khabinski. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. If you're new to the program, because you are a massive fan of low grade B, midnight. 90s science fiction pictures. This is a podcast where we take a movie good, bad, or otherwise, and kick it around for a little bit for comedic purposes. Yes, and I think there might be

some arrival heads out here. You know, this was a huge movie on cable, flopped at the box office, spawned that sequel, had a video game. Lindsay Kraus and heads also, I assume, are coming. I don't remember the video game. It was not, because you're a Nintendo boy.

No, I remember this came out a couple years ago. I fucking loved it. It was, Amy Adams is fantastic in it. Steve, Steve, Steve. It's one of my favorite. What are we talking about? Dude, did you watch the wrong movie?

You watched the wrong movie. It's a great. Arrival. Oh my. Arrival. Arrival. Arrival. The arrival.

I thought Charlie Sheen was that big squid thing. Is that, did he not do the voice? That's what he turned into later. Okay. That's why they're trying to cancel them. That's what, you know,

that was after he got off the drugs. All right. That's what he turned into. It's all about, you know, it's all about language and how we relate to. It's a great movie. Yeah, she's chatting up that Chinese guy for a while. Speaking of language, Zaynziminski.

That's a little tongue twist there. I appreciate a Polish scientist not studying the screen door in a submarine. And I can say that because my name's got more Zs than this guy. It does. Like in that famous movie, Das Butt. Oh, yeah, Das Butt, dude, take it up it. Well, that was the tagline. Zane Ziminski, I kept thinking, Wayne Zalinski.

Yes, I got Zillinsky a lot on that. Oh, right, yeah. Zelinsky. We had a lot of Polish names, 80, 90s, and 90s, but then it got outlawed with the Iraq War or something. Well, on that is Zelenskyy, the auto parking. Yes. They, yeah, before I did my bad joke, you were talking about how this, it was a bomb. And I do, I do vaguely remember the video game. It was like a Genesis deal or something. It was like a window. It was like, I think it was a PC game. It looked really low rent. But yeah, apparently like this made like 14 million at the box office off a 20. $25 million budget, but at the same time, a $25 million budget for an alien caper. Holy crow, I would love something like this to come back. I do like that you call it a caper. It does have that feel to it. It's a little bit of a caper. You know what it reminded me of a lot? And this is going to get me in hot soup.

Oh, really? This is a movie I like. Okay. The Ninth Gate with Johnny Depp directed by Roman Valancy. Because it's like mystery. You're going to locations. The protagonist doesn't even really know what's happening. It's also in its own way. It's a lot. a little bit of a paranoid thriller. I like to say, I had fun with this movie last night. I do think that like, it just, it's a little sloppy for a paranoid thriller. You know what I mean? You want it to be tighter.

You want everything to be a little quicker, a little zippier to really get that paranoia going. I really, in my paranoia thrillers, I want my aliens to look better. Oh, Jesus. These things. Big mistake, all of these creatures are CGI, and I kind of said, they must look better in the fucking Windows video game. probably did. I mean, I remember seeing this movie when it came out and the backwards legs blew my fucking mind. That's the only thing I remember is the backwards legs. I don't,

if you asked me yesterday before I watch this, do you actually see the aliens? I would have said no, which would have been a better move. Yes, I agree. Just go full invasion of the body snatchers. Maybe don't even do the legs. That's, I think we had maybe hit a saturation with body snatchers. because he had the Ferrar one had just happened. The puppet masters had just happened. Yes. And I think there's another one that I'm forgetting. Yes, there is. What was

Ben Affleck and one? What was that thing called? Not the invasion. That was way later. I'm thinking of phantoms. Oh, are you talking about phantoms? Yeah, that's not. Is that alien? No, that's like a big moth. Okay. Well, that's sort of really. Is a stay too. Yes. I heard he was the bomb in them.

I saw this movie a fuck ton. I didn't see it in theaters. It was a rental. It was a multiple trips to the video store rental. I was going back for the arrival in a big way. I had not seen it in ages until yesterday, where I also watched the second arrival. Oh, wow.

And boy, your tip about not seeing the aliens, they took that note in 1998. They cheaped it out. Like, there's a couple here and there, but for the most part, it's just this team of two nobody. Like in this movie you got Ron Silver chasing him and Ron Silver's team of goons

Star power, baby. And yes, and those character actors playing the DOD agents are great. Yeah, like Leon Rippey and the other guys. When you say like you don't see many aliens, what is that? What do you see? Because it's all of them just, they stay in human form. There's no aliens. Oh, good.

For most of it. That's kind of the better move. This movie should have done and then it's done the leg thing. The leg thing I'm into. I kind of like the leg. But he's saying it doesn't work. Oh, yeah. But it's also like a pet. Muldoon did it. I just imagine David Tui

watching it. It's like, see? I thought I did it wrong, didn't you? Well, it's like, oh, you know, do you want to leave the skin on this chicken or not? There's a fucking bug on it. Okay, and that bug is named Patrick Muldoon. He's really bad in the movie. The co-lead is the woman who played

Ross's lesbian ex-wife. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Whatever her name is there. Laurent Kelly Lynch. Yes, exactly. Yeah, Kelly Lynch's stunt double is like this investigative journalist who's partnered with him. But they're just running from these three talentless nobodies, like F-grade actors with no presence whatsoever. We're utilizing, we'll get to it in this episode, but the sphere that sucks things into it. I love that. Yeah. We are really amping up how many times we're using that. Really? Oh, dude, it takes, it's like. You're selling me. You're selling me. I love the Hellraiser vacuum in this movie. Is there a lower shit on that sphere that sucks?

You know, like a lower shit, like a, like a mild shucket. Miles, don't stick your dick in it, okay? Just, I know where you're going. I see your destination. I don't want it to go to another dimension or nothing, but that thing looks fun. How many times? How many times? They told you to do not do it.

Is that like a 10 if I could get it down until even a two? This movie starts with actress Lindsay Krauss from Buffy, among other things. Mrs. David Mamet. all right is that right one time fucking title she's is it Rebecca waitian well she's uh I believe she's the mother of what's her what's her face there the one those on girls okay yes Zosha Josia I believe so um okay so that's what she's in that movie his house of cards yeah house a game house of games yes I'm gonna guess how many wives did David Mammon have I don't have five seven I think he had two and he's like

on a girlfriend now I think he learned after man being like 70 years old here's my girlfriend and introduce you to my girlfriend man just david mammoth that guy's fucking exhausting yeah he's quite exhausting fucking exhausting anyway so lindsay crows uh she's looking at this flower and like this greenfield and she picks it up looks at it kind of gives a little whiff and i was like she gonna eat this fucking flower uh and then she's just like oh what are you doing here we get this kind of cool you know Google Earth zoom out and uh-oh, she's like in the Arctic

circle. Wait, what? I mean, like the way she, I like her as an actress, actually. She's got a good like cadence. Always playing her professor. And just sort of like, Jenny, what the fuck was it on Buffy? Oh God, I don't remember her. Professor Jenny. You think of Jenny Callender. That's the, oh, no, yeah,

Jenny Callender was a librarian. Yes. The computer teacher. Yes. She was a professor. She was a professor slash she had of the initiative, so she was also a government agent. Oh, right, the initiative. What a dark time to be a Buffy fan. I love the initiative. Secondarily, but wouldn't you be like, what the fuck?

Oh, my God! Like, if you're in Antarctica and there's like a parkland, like, you'd be like, holy shit, it's all over. We're almost there now. I mean, to be fair, we don't see her arrive there. Maybe she steps out of the chopper and it's like, and then this is like 20 minutes later. Oh, what are you doing?

Yeah, exactly. You know what? Could you just lower the blades for me? Just keep lowering it down. I think I'm good. I know where this is going. I have to say, man, I was pretty impressed with the fact that this is a movie that came out in 1996

and it has such an in-your-face global warming message. Yes. Through the whole thing, especially because it's very funny a month after this movie came out, Independence Day came out, and just erased this movie from anyone's memory as far as alien movies. And that movie, nothing about global warming. Nothing. As a matter of fact, fuck it.

I said on Letterbox, Goldblum's character is, like, made out to be a joke because he, like, recycles and all that shit. This is the Bush Gore. This is what happened. This is what happened. Gore was the arrival, and Bush was Independence Day and Boy, my favorite movie, The Arrival. Yeah, what about some real cool? What if the White House exploded? I don't want you want to watch some, you want to watch some scientist, jib-a-jab?

What about the White House exploded? What if we park one of those ships over a Baghdad? Hey, puppy, the house exploded. Do you want to watch Charlie Sheed, Yale in Mexico? Or do you want to watch the president blow up an alien? My favorite, my favorite actor, Richard Schiff. I love him so much and everything. Everyone's snoring already.

This is also kind of contact for stupid people a little bit. A little bit. It definitely does have contact vibes. Contact was, what, like 94? 97, actually. The book was forever. Think about that alien fever we had. Absolutely.

X-Files as well. X-Files, absolutely. Oh, dude, the low rent, can you believe us? Poster or whatever, are you out there? What is the poster slogan? I forgot. It's a fake. Oh, I want to believe.

Oh, I didn't even notice it. It's a poster and it says, like, are we alone maybe? Oh, that's embarrassing. Chris Carter just be like, no. Just keep it. Leave it out. I don't want anything to do it. What I like about Charlie Sheen and Richard Schiff in this scene where we meet

them and they're listening to radio waves and whatnot because that's their job in this movie. I love that for whatever reason Charlie Sheen is wearing Richard Schiff's goatee in this movie. It is a goateeeless Richard Schiff and I was freaking right out.

I iconic Sheen look in this. He's mimicking. He's like he's a body snatcher himself. In the a arts, I'm a grandparent now. you have to understand that. But there was a video game Half-Life, which I believe took the look of Charlie Sheen for the main character. Oh, wow. Is that right?

I never played. I've heard of the game a bunch. Yeah, I mean, I think I played two once anyway. But it's just like the glasses, the goatee, the bus top. Yeah, it's the buzz cut thing. Wow. Does he have the vest? I can't recall.

Senator, I can't recall this time. That leads me to believe, though, that I think you're right, Eric. Like, there are some arrival heads out there. Oh, yeah. Roger Ebert, really like this movie. That makes sense, too. He was always kind of a little more forgiving of not great science fiction a lot of the time.

I think he was a real, like, sci-fi nut. And you know, this has a momentum to it. This has a, we're going on to this adventure. It's globetrotting. A 90-minute version of this, I would actively be telling people to see. The fact that we are sniffing at the door of two hours for this movie is a little money.

It's a lot. So we see Charlie Sheen, is Terry Polo calls him. She's his girlfriend. She's like, when you're coming home, Sharr, which I guess is short for Charlotte, maybe. Charlene or Charlotte or Charlotte. Either or it's a rough one.

I would go to Charlotte or Charlene are both better than Shar. They have a charcoal grilling, you know what I mean? Charcoal, I can't talk right now. I'm getting some buzzes, right? They have a very interesting relationship. Yes, she calls him up and is like, I'm at a bar right now, there's a hockey player and he's in town

for one night you jealous. You hard right now. Exactly. That's exactly what's going to a pig. I'm going to get fucked tonight. Are you going to stop him? Are you going to come here and fuck me? Or is he going to fuck you tonight? You can either jerk off your little radio waves or you can watch me get fucked. I'm going to record it. I got a recorder here with me. You're going to listen later when you're

fucking me number two. I'm going to you're going to listen to number one doing his thing. Oh, number two guy. Not number two. Shoot. No, no. I mean, maybe both. Hey, hey, you don't know. Speaking of up, I love my very part of the movie is when Richard Schiff gets number one all over his shoes. Oh, dude, that is humiliating.

Just pissing on your shoes. Yeah, a little dick beer for his shoes. A little bit of dick beer here because, yeah, all of a sudden, like a signal comes through. And it makes a big noise in the little research station. And Richard Schiff happens to be at the urinal while this is going down. And he gets spooked by the noise. It's just, you just see piss all over tennis shoes. You have to imagine

that's also when Paul Gmadi is hearing Stern doing the Yeah he's like Yeah he's doing He's by the way They're kind of against his will It's like the Oh he calls him a ride share terrorist

Is what he calls him Yes Because Charlie Sheed won't drive him home Kind of a thing It is very weird though to hear ride share In a 1990s movie And that's just like A carpool

Yeah And then again that's also we're kind of doing global warming stuff. We're doing global warming stuff. At one point, Charlie Sheen, that says he trusts the algorithm, he trusts the algorithm, he trusts science, this, and the other thing, we're dropping some stuff that would become bigger down the line. This is a seminal film for the American 21st century.

It is because I think it has the ultimate message about global warming. And that is that, okay, yeah, we did it bad, but the aliens are making it worse. Okay? It's not all of us, okay? we're 35% all right 35% of it is us but the rest of it is those fucking aliens but this is what I love about like the message of this movie is these aliens are like no no no you fucking primates you ruined this for yourselves you had all of this and you ruined it so if you don't want to take care of your toy boom you just lost your toy we're going to terraform your planet

we're just going to turn that from bake to broil a real quick I would I would prefer that to us just rooting thing. Right. Just industry. I get that a little bit because then at least you are going to get some of the boomers in at the end. Most of them are probably going to die beforehand and aren't going to see any of it. Yeah, you pull a watchman

basically. You say there's an alien threat and they're the ones that are causing global warming. Yes, we have to recycle. Yes, we have to lessen our greenhouse guests. But it's because of the aliens, then everyone would do it. What's funny is like watchmen now in retrospect is such a wishful thinking outcome. That would never

happened. COVID proved it I think because I think in our ultraviolet episode I'll be like oh if there's a giant pandemic like people are going to start believing in science again like we haven't been and it was the direct fucking opposite. There was a big alien that manifested itself at the middle of Times Square and killed 200 people like the end of watchman, spoiler

alert. Half the people wouldn't know one would believe it would have to New York City you know what I mean? Deep fake from New York live from New York yeah and then you know some people would start worshipping it So maybe we should vote for this guy.

Well, the alien had a lot of good ideas. What, you know, the alien showed up on Times Square. They couldn't even arrest him. I mean, the stage presence alone, look at the guy. Can you get it, can you get believe it? Look at him. Right out of central casting this alien, right out of central casting. Famous optimist, Alan Moore.

I heard that the alien's girlfriend cheated on him like a dog. But so, yeah, they're freaking out. A little embarrassing thing they said, because it's from Wolf 336. accepts the star. They're like, Wolf, you are transmitting. And they both do, ow, ow, ow. Nice. Cool dudes.

These dudes will take whatever they can to, you know, have an entertaining life. They listen to radio waves for a living. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, they're like, they're essentially less active versions of the guys from Twister.

Right. So to contextualize that for listeners at home, it's slightly better than listening to podcasts. Yeah. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Uh, the signal goes away,

but they have, have it recorded. They're very excited about this. They bring it to their boss the next day. Robert Gordian, aka Gordy, played by the great Ron Silver, late Great Ron Silver. So, you're fired.

I love Ron Silver with anything. He's awesome. I said to you guys yesterday. I hate that that dude is dead. Yeah. I miss him. Every time he comes up in a movie, I'm reminded that he's been dead for almost 20 years. We have so few great Hollywood Republicans.

I'm going to be sad he was the big one when Eastwood goes of course I'm going to be wrecked but like there's only a couple of them that I can really feel sad about you know it's funny I was like what was this big

like what was you know everyone's got a big big one and of course what do you call it Ron Silver certainly does reversal of fortune where you guessed it Alan Benchwitz

oh wow have you guys not seen I've not seen this I've not seen this I've not seen this it's Jeremy Irons as Klaus von Buello the Klaus von Buello movie.

Oh, okay. Who, uh, they think he killed his wife. He tried to kill her and she went to the comments. Allegedly. Uh, but it's all about Alan Dershowitz taking on his cage. And he's a hero. It's a hero. I had no idea.

I had anything to do with that. Oh, yeah. You know what Ron Silver movie I watched for the first time recently? The one with him and Jamie Lee Curtis, where she's a cop. Blue steel. Yes. It is fucking good. Catherine Bigelow.

Yes. Hell of a hell of an opening in that movie. Yes. The opening scenes pretty fucking great. We were obsessed with the idea. ideas of terrorists getting us at the grocery store. Well, Cobra and Blue Steel, there's a huge shootout. And there's another one I'm forgetting, but like the fact that those two were the big

openers, I'm like, we really were worried that was going to happen. I'm not even sure if it ever did. It happened quite, quite recently. Oh, did? Just a few years ago. Oh, well, I mean, like now, I mean back in the day. Oh, no. But there was that, it was like, what, Buffalo?

There was, yeah. Yeah, the thing is, it's like, you always think it's going to be more exciting than racism, you know, but it's not. No, it's not. Yeah, well, can't someone be stealing like $6 billion in gold bars? Yeah. Why don't it have to be racist? Can I be secret virus that they're in this too case? Let me be collateral

damage and something exciting. Something kind of sexy. A hyper-violent cult that's trying to take over California. Not some dumb fucking little white boy with a bowl cut. Come on. Please. But Ron Silver lets them know that E.T. watching in this

economy isn't really flying. It's a tough sell on Capitol Hill. When has it ever been a thumbs up sell? We've been fucking like hiding the shit since the 40s. Yeah. So you're a truther. What? We've been hiding it, you said. Of course we have.

Well, we've been hiding. Well, I agree with you. I don't know where I'm going. I was like, yeah, where are you going? Does you agree with everything I'm saying? Stoker. I know, I know. Yes, the aliens, they're real. They are indeed.

Rod and Silver is like, oh, and by the way, another really unfortunate thing. You've got to cut 20% from your budget. You're fired. Yeah, out of hell. Pack your shit. I do. Yeah, it's like, well, yeah, we can't be spending money on all these alien listeners. We also don't want to have any kind of, we're not going to watch the flat schools either.

Get the money out of whoever's watching them flight schools out of there, too. We got to get our eyes off the stars and back down on our pants. I mean, the economy. Should have been looking at that dress, am I right? You should have a little clean, clean that up a little bit. Alien research is a stain on this country just like a stain on. Oh, damn it. I did it again. I mean, I keep shoot.

If I had a time machine, I'd advise him. You know, you can't just let your shit spray every way. Yeah, seriously. I'm president, you got to keep on script. I know you have a problem with that, but just please, God damn it. Wonder if them aliens are horny! They start listening to radio frequencies. They might have pick up Jeff's plane.

Shut it all down. Are they the ones that brought radio head here? I hate those whiny sons of bitches. But yes, so he's officially fired. He has, we don't see him. He has sex with Cherry Pooke. Shara, Terry Polo. Yeah.

A whole tight big thing here. When he leaves that office, Ron Silver, who says that he's going to kick the recording up to the brass so they can hear the reading. Ron Silver breaks that tape in half after he leaves. Oh, yes. And then he has that filth sex. And then he's glistening like a ham on his balcony. Dude, he's waxed within an inch of his life in this movie. He's a dolphin.

He's so smooth in this film aside from the goatee. I thought he was the alien. They cut to this shot He's slippery He's getting committed At playing Polish I don't have a ton of body hair Well I do think it kind of works in

Because we eventually find out Sweat is something that tells you From human and But like you're just I would have preferred seeing more of You know the actual bedroom scene And hearing him like What was his name?

Tell me what his name was What position did he play? I mean because like You have to imagine Just from the way that he is sweating so profusely. This was some god dear fucking

that was going on. Oh my God, he was on the black hawk! Chris touched on something. The whole sweating aspect, you know, you never see Ron Silver's sweat. You never see the alien character's

sweat. And there's a theory about the movie about Schar being an alien because you don't see her. Yes. Yes, indeed. Yeah.

Layer text. Yeah, it's exactly like the flick. We find out that basically part of his weird thing is he's got real truth hang-ups. Not only is he's an alien truther. He just, he's like, I don't even know what you see in me. Like, he's a real drip.

Yeah. After the, I don't know how he's fucking, but after the fuck he's like, what do you see in me? Why are you here? Oh, my God. Yeah, I just wanted to shoot on me. Are you guys not ashamed after sex and hating everything? This is normal. Sure.

Yeah. Well, I'm such a piece of shit. Hell yeah. That's how I, honestly, that's the post-not clarity for me. But it is just like, I mean, it's just this. really sad sack. Like, why do you even want to be with me? What do you see in me? Jesus fucking Christ. You look like Charlie Sheen and you used to make money. Aside from that dumbass fucking haircut, yeah, you got a 1990s Charlie Sheen body and you probably

make okay money at this government job. Decent hog. Jesus. Definitely. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you did make me come. No, yeah, no, yeah. No, it was fine. It's called your three days later. Yeah, I don't even remember anymore, honestly. I mean, this guy can find alien life forms in fucking satellite space or whatever, but he can't find, you know. Even when I fucking point to it. You got all them readings from Wolf 366,

but you couldn't find my fucking clit last night. How about a spike down here, buddy? Wish I was howling. Fuck. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm not Wolf 355. I guess I'll never live up to that galaxy or whatever. Meanwhile, Richard Schiff is sent home before he gets before she gets fired and these gardeners

come to his house I'm like well they start cleaning they first show up to clean out his office with all that's right oh that's right oh these guys from the DOD are here and they're going through everything all right Richard Schiff don't tell him about the backup don't tell him about the goddamn backup

there's also a backup system you coward you sniveling coward Richard Schiff unbelievable he was good at it he was absolutely a key player when it comes to cowardice. And then for the rest of the movie, these DOD agent slash alien murderers are in this Cohen Brothers disguise of gardening or whatever. I love Leon Rippy and some other guy. I want Leon Rippey to get his fucking hands dirty.

Basically, when shift gets shifted. Garden, actually garden. I want to see him puts him down some flower beds. Yeah, till that soil. Do some weeding. There's all this crazy shit though that happens like kind of right before that where like he gets a job for like a satellite dish company like that's like his backup because he gets fired or whatever and he gets blacklist he's trying to get another job with some other big telescope

yes and that dude calls and he's like uh yeah so Ron Silver phoned recently and I can't give you that job he was jerking off in the office let me let me let me let me let me let me be clear here he was jerking off in the office okay and he was taping it and he was listening to it later

That's much more of a wrong silver kind of lie than what he tells, which is like, yeah, he was flubbing the numbers to keep his funding going. Right, yeah, faking broadcasts. I mean, if you want that guy in your, if you want that going on in your office, you can hire him. But I'm going to tell you, it took us fucking three days to clean that place, okay? Three whole days. I'm telling you, I left 85 cents in loose change on my death.

When he left, it was gone. The bathroom was plain blue and now it's white. So not only does he fib about numbers, he's a fucking thief. He's a car change thief, all right? I could use those quarters. Those are quarters. He also, he tries to talk to Run Silver by crashing that lecture. And this German dude or whatever is like, excuse me, would you like to talk into his microphone instead?

It's a Wayne's World, very convenient lecture because it's all about how we're going to terraform Mars. Right. And this is after he finds, immediately he's finally, he's blackless. going to go shove it up Ron Silver's ass and he's trying to find him in this lecture. It's very provasic looking like I'm sure. You're waiting to let

someone know the samples were indeed switched. Yes. And right before he goes into this lecture there was some guard that gives out this like he goes, he like gets one over on this guard and he does this like Zaminzky oh yeah. It's like Colonel Klink. But that happens like four times in the movie. You kind of

wanted to get paid off at some point. Yeah, yeah. The security guard at the gate of the office. No, not doing it for me. That's something to cut from the film. When you bring comedy into those kinds of jobs, it has to be someone trying to get on like the lot of a film studio. Not like a government research building.

You could definitely just cut ahead. I know that he's worked there forever. I'm sure he can get in. And plus he's dressed like a satellite repairman slash janitor. I would love if Ron Silver is like bringing his higher ups and he's like, now you want to know how crazy is he sent me this as proof of the howl of the wolf 336 turns on

presses play and it's just ripping ass he's farting and beating off in this one let me play it back for you yeah you can definitely hear the farts and that that little hammer of his hand on his jumps he woke me up at 2 a.m. to report this and then also he sent me a jerky boy's tape it was pretty funny But he said that as work

You know what I mean? And I know who those guys are Those guys are great I'm with it He called me slappy ass You think I don't know who Frank Rizzo is The guy's fucking hilarious His glasses fell off I get it

It's funny, it's very funny Kamal the magician It's amazing He's going to the dentist It's very funny He's a nerd And he has boils on his ass That's the

That's it that those two things together is what makes it so funny. It was the plagiarism that really got him out to thawks. I was like, honestly, these are actually professional prank phone calls. And you're pretending that they're your own work. Opening night, I was at the movie. I saw it. Oh, I thought he was just sharing a tape with him.

Like, oh, don't you also like the drink. No, no, no, no. He's like, oh, look what I did. Wow. Oh, yeah. You can't be lifting from the best, dude. Then he comes in here one day trying to pass off this for Cockta Arnold Schwarzenegger tape with him calling about that he's a detective. Fuck you, asshole. You don't think I know who Baba Booie is? Give me a break.

Oh, no, but Alan Arkin cooked it. He used the best. House to roll. Just amazing work. He then goes to Sharr's place of work. Yes. She's in some sort of architecture. I think real estate or something.

Or maybe it's stocks. I think it's real estate. You know what? It's business. It is business. It turns out it doesn't matter to the movie. No, but he barges into this office and he's like, I got to talk to you right now. And she's just like, I'm not work.

She's on a meeting here. She's on a fucking. this he's zane you're out of line i think he's a zaned up at the time yeah took a little a zane up the nose he gets really tooted later in the movie he certainly does look pretty up i mean especially when you when aliens will be about you know what to blow your load on just like your boss fucking with you because then eventually you your wife's well yeah yeah great oh wow it's big conspiracy yeah exactly yeah don't even mention the firing really just tell him quit so he's opening two fronts of this war with the boss

And with her full fire, we know he's a worry ward. Like he can't come without complaining about himself. And now he's got fired because he thought he found alien life. Of course he's going to be insecure. He's got some terrible quip here where she's telling him like, I don't want you here right now. Like I'm busy.

Let's talk about this later. And he's like, well, first you're giving me crap about not being here. Now I'm here and you're not. What is this? Tales from the dark side. I was like, what is that? No, I understand it was a show But like, is he referencing

It's a very good show And I'm missing it to be here I couldn't figure out the VCR So I'm not taping tales from the dark side Do weirdest part Some guy comes up He's like oh hey I need that A report by Friday or whatever

And he's like Is he the reason you don't want me to be here It's like all right Dude get the fuck out Because she's got a job offer From this thing To head up the San Diego office Is he going to San Diego?

Also he said You ball your fucking brains out. Such asshole shit. He's like, well, can you tell him no? Like, tell him to stuff that job. And she's like, dude, you listen to star noises for a living. And I've put up with this shit for how many, many years, you know. I'm the sole, I am now the sole breadwinner of this relationship.

And you have nothing. You're blacklisted. And your whole job was listening to static noise. You are unemployable. Does he, does he play hockey too? Is that who this guy is? Can you talk to me here for a little bit? Oh, you got a promotion.

You're trying to beat me up now. Tonsel hockey, right? Wasn't that a thing? Was that an expression, right? That was an expression. Yeah. You put your tongue down someone's throat? Uh-huh.

They'd be a tonsil hockey. Yes. Knock that shit back and forth. That's right. All right. Just checking. Go. Yeah.

And a horn goes on. Oh, yeah. Shove a puck down there. You don't want to do that. No? I'm saying, I think that's not a good idea. So he somehow gets it in his head. head, oh, okay, I can still listen to the skies if I create a phased array with all of the satellite

dishes around my neighborhood. So he starts this, I like this little montage of him like pretending that he's like got a deal from the satellite company. And it's like, oh, yeah, this free whatever. I just got to make some adjustments to your dish. Not enough for you. How'd enough for you? Out enough for you. Total serial killer shit. Pretending to be a cable repair man. Like, I just need to get in your house for five minutes. and you can get an extra free cable channel or whatever. Oh, yeah, you got a dollar, huh? So do you have a place nearby that makes doubles of keys?

Just, you know, for my own, because I have some, you know, some errands to run afterwards. Funny enough, the like heavy alien in disguise in this shitty sequel, at one point pretends to be a cable repair again. Oh, yeah, exactly, because that's the move. Isn't that what Richard Brake does in Barbarian, or is he pretending to be a, is it to read the meter or something. Yes, electric or something. Yeah, he's going to read the meter. Then he goes in like he leaves the back door open for himself. Don't let these freaks

in your house. Oh my God. Dude, we used to live in an apartment where like every month, Con Ed would come and be like, I got to read the meter inside your apartment. And I'd be like, how is this not in like a maintenance room somewhere? Why do you have to come into my

house? And like he would, every month, he'd knock on all the doors. Con Edison. And you'd have to let this fucking guy in. That's fucked. And I'm like, I was always at attention, dude, because it was never the same guy. So it's like, I don't know. He's had some fucking dude at your house. Well, that's where those trade schools that were like, you know, study anything, a cooler heat and repair and stuff like that.

They should have marketed them more towards serial killer. Yeah. Do you want to get into a house easily? Here's the thing. Get this jumpsuit, dude. In their own way, they were, Chris, because when did you see those commercials most of the time? in the middle of the night. When his sane loaners

are up watching TV. We used to have subtext in this nation. We don't have anymore. No, no, no. Now, it's gone. So he builds himself kind of like a crazy guy command center in his attic to do all this monitoring here. Enter Kiki, which I We need a second draft on

Kiki. Yeah, no thank you. I mean, I'm fine with Kiki, but maybe take two on the line. Shouldn't she be out tagging freeway signs right now? that he's a young black kid who is like fucking with his stuff and he's like hey what are you doing

he's literally trying to break into his house yeah he's like climbing up the like flower trestle or whatever but he's talking about every time he goes to school there's metal to tag I'm going to watch 9-210. Seriously he even says funny enough speaking of

90210 his parents moved him out of Los Angeles to live with his grandma because the schools are too bad. Oh shit it's the Andrea Suckerman's story. Also, his grandmother is going to bed every knife getting drunk on cough syrup? That's an old people thing. Old people, old people have problems. That death, that happens, sure. Well, the one thing we don't know, I mean, a spoiler alert, he's an alien. It's a twist at the very end. I think they maintain it pretty well. I got a question about it. Is it a body snatchers

thing where like they're taking somebody? Was there a regular, was there a regular run, run? Oh, that's Silver and then all of a sudden this alien saw it on Silver. Because we later do see that there's this body masking technology. That stuff is where they spray Ron Silver onto you or whatever. Yeah, pretty much. So yeah, that's a good question. I guess they would

have definitely, maybe Ron Silver was a guy somewhere that was abducted, Kiki, et cetera, as the initial samples. Yes. So is maybe ideally, is his grandmother in on it? Is she not? Is she actually doing it? No, no. Kiki himself has actually been dead since 1956. It's just

the design. It was available. A taxi driver on Central Mexico. I mean, yeah, he got killed clearly. I'm guessing there's no grandmother. No, yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's just Kiki's running out there on his own. Well, you do see the lady. Yes. She's like doing

one second. Gardening work at one point. I'll get to it now because it doesn't really matter and we are talking about the grandmother. Yes, this kid turns out to be a secret alien at the end of the movie. when he goes to be like he jumps in the car with Charlie Sheen when they're driving off for the end of the movie

he's like I want to come too before he gets in the car you see this kid post up a note to grandma on the door it's like oh grandma saying like where you win or whatever but if this kid is actually an alien that's trying to kill Charlie Sheen or thwart his plan at the very least

why would you have that shot of leaving the note for grandma it could be a coded note you know what I mean alien code. Oh, we're going up the road, which means follow us fair leader. My neck rods will pulsate where we're going. My brain flaps will tell you where we're going. Because you don't see what the note says is just a little piece of paper folded over and it says grandma and he tapes it to the doorway. And I was like, all right, I got to know what you because yeah, if it's a thing where it's like, hey, you know, Leon Rippy or whoever

come. The grandmother grabs it and goes, I see what's going on. That's what you. That's what you want in this movie and it doesn't happen, I don't think, right? A body statues, ask. Well, no, because the aliens talk in like little click-clack language. But like when they're people,

they're always either speaking English or speaking Spanish in the case of when we're in Mexico. But when all those aliens are alone together and they know it's just aliens, why are we still fucking speaking Spanish? Why are we not speaking Gleap? That's true. I think that's, I think that's a plow hole. Poking some holes in the movie

The Arrival, if you can even believe it. Beep, room, room. But he's like, all right, if you're going to be annoying, I guess, yeah, I'll just, I'll start hanging out with a nine-year-old boy, it's fine. Yeah, you can be in my attic at one o'clock in the morning. At the very least. Tell your grandmother about it for sure.

Exactly. At the very least, you got to get it. I can't be having a nine-year-old kid in my house. I'm not following that again. You were just trying shirts on together. All right, I'm going to get, all right, just you're part of the secret alien club. I'm going to give me this fax machine.

Be able to send you special messages. Ma'am, ma'am. I was just showing them some interesting images on the computer. Exactly. It's a computer club. We go on the computer together and look at things. It certainly is a kind of computer club. I'll say that.

Hey, did you ever see Gillian Anderson naked? Let me just download this image for you. Oh, those fakes, dude. That takes me back to the AOL days. Yeah, movie night. You want to watch the net? You ever been on a boat? You got gladiator movies?

What was the Oh, another sad thing, man He's goateeless in this movie And also Richard Schiff With this very childish Like robot voice alarm Oh, it's just too It's like, why don't you wake up, Richard Schiff

It has taught your sleep cycle has ended It's early Battlestar Galactica Like 70s version Cylon Like wake up you a man Is that what it is? Kind of sort Believe it or not Richard isn't out Please leave a message at the beep

But then like I think what you recall Later in the movie Right before that happens Ron Silver was like Yeah I have some gardening I need you guys to do Go go garden And they go as gardeners

Into Richard Schiff's house And like Richard Schiff wakes up And they're there and he goes I want to see him get fucking gagged They turn off the alarm Yeah Which is scary He does like that weird

Yeah Yeah Withering like I know I'm mad to die. You're right. I want to see their legs twist back and then take this guy and smash him into bits.

Fuck yeah. Why didn't you? Stomp on his skull. But they don't seem to be into that kind of thing. I think you're just taking a rattlesnake and throwing it out of it. Like,

or like, let that be it. Heart attack pill. The scorpions. We'll get into it. Oh, those scorpions. Yes. But when they say like,

I think, what was it a heart attack later? They blame it on this? They take carbon monoxide. Right. Oh, yeah. That is really fucking funny. When Charlie Sheen,

he races to Richard Schiff's house and the ambulance is there and whatever and he peers in through the window of this ambulance and Richard Schiff with like how do you even describe it's like terror face like his his dead look is his eyes are wide

open and his mouth is open it's pretty funny all of his neighbors like oh yeah the carbon dioxide oh yeah he's dead oh carbon oxide he's dead oh oh oh oh boy you know I heard you know I heard he had a belt and it was around the Oh, yeah, jerk it off, big time.

Oh, you're jerked off. But yeah, so he keeps, he's doing the array with the kid. He does it like two or three nights in a row. The third night, here we go. Hit that key when I say, it'll download those nudes. This is called LimeWire. Hey, how could it be weird if I'm just hanging out with a guy? We're both dudes looking at sexy ladies.

Yeah, he's nine. Yeah, I'm 40. What? They're sexy ladies. What's gay about that? The kid briefly scares him wearing like a Freddie Krueger mask in stilts. I believe it was Kruger.

It's a bad Kruger. It's a fucking Kmart Kruger, man. Kmart Kruger. Yeah, because it specifically looks like the way they designed him in New Nightmare. With all the burns. You're getting discounts. It's Kmart Kruger.

70% off. Wow, what a slice. Unbelievable savings. You must be dreaming. All the plastic smells. to weird Kmart Kruger. Don't let your Black Friday shopping turn into a nightmare.

Shop at Kmart Kruger. Kmart ketchup or is it? So he's to have two sort of converging things pointing us to Mexico right here. Charlie and Kiki are listening to the signal

and then it gets interfered with by some Spanish language music and he determines from the radio station that it's Mexico. the same time Lindsay Krause is at some other research lab or whatever and this is where they start discovering wow there's been some real fucking spikes in you know like atmospheric temperatures blah blah blah and one of those places is Wahaka Mexico

it's kind of weird and unfortunate because again I like Lindsay Krause she's second build over the title like in the movie yeah it's it should be a two-hander where there she should be on the disc at the end of the movie Terry Holo should not come back to this movie by that fucking hockey player Or she's an evil alien or whatever And it's like him and Lindsay Krauss

Figure it out as different scientists come together It's a better sharper movie David David I need to talk to you Hey David She's not hot enough for me I'm sorry David I know you know I'm towards the end of I'm going down on my career

But she's not hot enough for me Okay and I don't I don't care about House of Games, okay? I don't care about House of Games. Don't be telling me about the David Mamet. Just give me a hotter. Terry Polo? Oh, that'll work.

Oh, that's, oh, I honestly, dude, I think that's, that is some sort of some cynical movie crew shit there. Yeah, absolutely. Because it doesn't make, it does not make any fucking sense what happens. And there is kind of a will they, won't they for a section.

She's the fuck. She's throwing her keys and, like, let's figure it out, dude. And for that, for science. And for that. that she is killed Eric. That's right. Oh my God. A risque woman sent up the river by a motion picture. Every time. But yes, he has to go to Mexico because that's where there's a Mexican radio station in the signal. This is giving me very saw ex-lives when he goes down there and the dude's like, why don't you check out the ruins? You want to check out the ruins and he's like, no, I want to find this radio tower. And I was like, uh. But the ruins. Right. This cabby character who turns out to also be a secret alien. I think also the death of Richard Schiff lets him know

it's time to get out of town for a little while. Yes, yeah, yeah, my co-worker, my former co-worker was murdered. Oh, and the other thing is, before he goes to Mexico from Arizona or California, wherever it is, Arizona, right? I think it's Arizona, yeah. He rapidly travels to 2099 to get these sunglasses that he's wearing. What is this steampunk shit? Yes, I wrote my notes, future sunglasses all over this.

I mean, like, it's very, very nice. very much, I mean, and I think later on, it's from live entertainment, which I think they also did. It's like, they belong a doll man. You know what I mean? And the, oh, the production company live entertainment. Yes. The film Dollman. And I do believe, and I believe, like, even the alien spaceships kind of all look doll man-esque. Well, it's a great movie. Why wouldn't you anyway? Dalman is live entertainment. Wasn't that? Full moon. Full moon. Whatever other garbage piece of shit. Where does trancers fit in at all this?

Oh boy. That's a great question. I get the feeling these sunglasses like there was some company who thought this was going to be the new look and they paid Charlie Sheen and live entertainment $100,000. You know what they look like? Actually, the only time I've ever seen

anything like them in Batman Forever, Chris O'Donnell, very cool Robin, has sunglasses very similar. I feel like that's like motorcycle stuff. Yes. It's like you don't get the light on the side. Is that the...

Yes, the silver parts of the side. When you're driving something, you want to limit your peripheral vision as much as well as you can. Yes, absolutely. I mean, they are glasses that like the villain of the Rocketeer would wear. Yes. You mean Neville Sinclair? Played by Timothy Dalton?

Loosely based off of Errol Flynn? Perhaps a little lesser than the main one. Wow, can I just tell you that was pretty awesome. I might be an alien. Good job, Eric. So, yes, he's like, you want to see the ruins, my friend? No, I want to go to this radio station. Why did it's burned down?

Yeah, they get there. Just burn to the ground. And here's something to you. Like, you know, like a screenplay cliches. Like, you never want to start a screenplay with a character waking up, right? You know what I mean? We've seen it so many times. Can someone go to Mexico and it's not the day of the dead?

What if it's like two weeks after? Sorry. Is it always, always the day of the dead? What else would happen then? anything listen it's a murky jungle foreign land just set it on a fucking regular old tuesday will you please like folks it's north america i mean they do they do skeleton shit they do skeleton parades every day there like it's not it's the day of dead ain't no special thing quick kids hurry up we kind of catch the four o'clock skeleton parade if we miss

it we'll have to wait to the 405 skeleton parade that's what i assume mexico is from films so you know oops radio station burned to the ground this dude's like oh i'll take you you can stay at the nicest hotel in town that we have is real shipbox place he's checking his messages and it's in order fired from the satellite company job oh damn then this is fucking hysterical this this friend Doug who's like oh i heard about you and charm so sorry to hear about all that by the way could you give me her phone number there's some, yeah, you know. You think there's some investments I want to look at.

That's what of the, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love it if the next message was Terry Paula, being like, I paid Doug to make that message. You better get back here and take care of this pussy or at least 50 men in your neighborhood are going to. She eventually really does give him this, like, out, like come back and tend to this kitty cat. She calls up and she says right here.

She's the third message. Here we are. What is happening now? I miss your paranoid brain. That's what she says this fucking psycho. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, that's the thing. It has to be a fucking foot and a halfer.

Because why else would you put up with this? Yeah. So this, what happens to the next scene happened to Andrew once, which is good old Zane just sitting at a bathtub waiting for the bathtub to fucking, the bathtub goes through. That is exactly right, Steve. I was having some PTSD here. I was not bathing at the time, but yes,

living in our old apartment in Astoria. I didn't live with you three. Right, but that's where we recorded episodes, right? A lot of the episodes, yeah. So one day I was in the bathroom, and there'd been like a leak up above. They were like renovating the building. This building, by the way, owned by famous piece of shit,

Jared Kushner, who would I guess. We should mention, you rented this without that knowledge. Yes. You weren't seeking out Kushner Enterprise. No, no, no, no. Did not find that out until we had. we had moved well from the building. Jared Kushner, slum lord of New York.

Absolutely. So they're renovating this place, really gotten the shit out of all these units. Leak coming down from the ceiling, you know, okay, whatever. They were getting a handle on it. Sure. I'm about to take a shower. It was right over the tub, you know. I'm about to take a shower. I'm like, I'm fucking fully nude.

Phone goes off. And I'd been like working from home. And so I was like, this was still when I was like caring about getting caught with that stuff. So I was like, shit, if it's work, I got to pick up the fucking phone. And it was work. And so I leave the bathroom, go pick up the phone, talking to my coworker at the time on the phone, no more than like 45 seconds into this phone call. I just hear this noise from the bathroom. And I run and I look and the fucking whole ceiling had collapsed right into the bathtub. And there's a dude just staring down, like this construction guy,

staring down and I just start screaming at it. And did he run away and then you had to chase him and he turned out to be an alien? He just goes, I'm sorry. Because he was like, I'm getting fucking fired today. Well, at least you were in there and dead. Yes, that's a key part of it. You could be dead right now. You could be dead right now.

But here's the craziest part about this story. So the management company sent like a big so-and-so to like, smooth it over and they were like we will have this fixed by the end of the day like we're terribly sorry blah blah blah blah let me guess they didn't they did that part that part was all fine it did get fixed but I was just seething at these

motherfuckers because it had been like nonstop fucking construction really awful this guy went to shake my hand like you know and we'll have this fix for you no problem I fucking turned my back to this too slow turned around I didn't even fucking touch this dude's

hand and I said nothing and just waited incredibly awkwardly until this guy left. When I look back on it now, I can't remember this dude's face, but part of me is like, was that fucking Kushner? Did I refuse to shake that turd's hand? That would be something.

I can't imagine. I can't imagine he's ever been a story of Queens, I'll be honest. No, he just owns half of it for some reason. Exactly. Piece of shit. But yeah, he sheen is bathing and he's like noticing all his smooth body.

is incredibly shave hairless boy body. He is also checking these answering machine messages from the tub. Nice, dude. Losing a cord, like a phone with a cord in the tub? Now that's living, you know, just kicking back with a cord. Totally. In a tub.

This is your dream. I love a good bath, Chris. A good court too. Wait, what? A big cord fan? I, you know, you do kind of have to miss them a little bit, don't you? I guess that's the other way. I don't know, man. There was something about talking on a phone that had a really long cord

you guys have a really long one and you can walk around the house go to the other room you could curl it with your finger your fingies something to do with your hands man yes because now when you're talking to me on the phone I'm just fucking rubbing one out I got nothing to do with my hands for younger listeners we sound like Civil

War veterans in the phonograph we used to spin there's a good there's a really great Hong Kong action movie called Accident where a guy essentially has to set up hits that look like accidents, whatever they do, they have to look like accidents.

It's a really great movie. It's a really great movie if you want to seek it out. And this is kind of what this, the cowboy assassin must be having something like that in this realm. Because like how, why else would you plan it this way? Yeah, why not just get in and kill him?

You're totally right. You're in Mexico anyway. Like, oh, man, he got shot in the head. Who would he guess? Steal the money. It's like, oh, some vandals. another fucking gringo down, dude, whatever. Something that's never happened before.

A white man was poisoned in Mexico. Can you imagine it? But this is like, it's a fucking cartoon gag. The tub falls. He jumps out. You get some she nudity here. Maybe some taint. I think you go still by still,

you might get some taint. There's some cheekage. The arrival of cheekage. Possible taint. And then, yes, it keeps going. I'd like the Looney Tunes-ass thing. It keeps falling through all the floor. All the, it collects all the tubs.

It's a stacker. There's some naked ladies screaming below as well. Sure, you always have to have that. She's in the faucet. But this is like, you know, in the, in the mid-90s like this in a fucking low-tier sci-fi film, you will have nudity.

It has to have. They will jam nudity into these movies. And I know there's been inflation, but $25 million. Nowadays, that stunt alone would be $25 million. Yes. Yeah. It's a real deal, like, set that they put these tubs. My favorite nudity in a movie that has no business of nudity is in, speaking of science fiction, demolition man.

When John Spartan comes home to his futuristic apartment and he's like, let me check my messages. And he gets a phone call from a naked, like, oh, hey, Roger. Oh, my goodness. And it's like, so it was a wrong phone call in the movie Demolition Man and there's a naked lady in it. Yeah. And now I'm masturbating as an 11-year-old kid. Look, I know you make fun of us. But I'm not kidding you.

We got 200 cars that said there should be tits. That's every, that is three quarters of the fucking cards we handed out. They all said more tits. It's right. But, you know, it's weird about that scene, too. It's like they got so much about the future right. Yeah. But she's still just punching numbers.

Yes. It's a wrong one. It's great. The second arrival, by the way, definitely amper. upset the nudity. We have like a full on sex scene. Patrick Muldoon fucks an alien, not knowing that she's an alien. Do we bend back and forth? We bend those legs back and forth. She doesn't like turn into the alien. Like it's just sex. But then like,

I was pretty surprised by this, but it is right in line because like the theatrical stuff, you got to deal with the MPA a little bit. Sure. That direct to video market. Don't worry about it. All bets were off. There is just straight on full frontal nudity in that movie like the woman like Patrick Maldon's like looking through this document or whatever in the middle of the night and she comes into the room and she's just fully naked and I was like well they don't really do this in movies these days do they we got the full rights to are never going to dance again we're going to play it over this pornography shit quickly mentions something funny about that sequel too that you shared with us is that he plays the what like the brother of zane

ziminski who zane ziminski has since been found dead yes it is a crazy. So the whole thing that kickstarts the movie is the brother played by Patrick Muldoon and like three or four other people get this file from Zane and it's one of those like in the event of my death things

and he spells out like the whole alien conspiracy but it's like a newscaster is like oh yes remember from because it takes place like pretty much right after part one and it's like remember a couple weeks ago that crazy guy Zane Ziminski

did that alien, they say it's like a, it was like a hoax or whatever because he gets the message out of the end of the movie and they're like, oh yeah, that alien hoax guy that used to work for the government oh, he was found dead in an, they say, in an Eskimo village in Alaska of a heart attack.

And you're just like, yeah, I guess the aliens found him, huh? Happens to the best of us. No mention of Terry Polo. I guess those kids didn't make it. How do you get up there? He fall out of a flying saucer? Is this where he chases the puppet man basically. He sees the puppet man above the tub. He was the tub perpetrator. And they do this

chase. And it's a fun little chase. Like he's, this is the first time we see it. We haven't seen any alien stuff whatsoever. We're pretty sure watching an alien movie. And then like the puppet man gets cornered. Zane Ziminski looks away for one second. And when you get it, ostrich legs. And he jumps up. He does like a superbarrier super jump. Yes. Climes a roof and disappears. Yeah. I do love Zane Zaminzki looking up and seeing this like old timer crawling up to the the roof or whatever. And it's Charlie just goes, what the?

It's a really bad like, if it was in a comic book, you would have the thought bubble. And it would be what the, but just the what the, like out loud is very funny. What the? And he's now he's driving around and he happens to see poor Lindsay Krauss try to do some science and the Mexican Federales are just. grabbing and breaking her shit and it's like, well, why are you doing this? And it's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, that's what you want to do is a step in the middle of a, you know,

police affair of some kind, corrupt or otherwise, alien or otherwise, mind your own fucking business, but yes, because he's like, okay, well, now if the radio station is gone, where is this, where are they hiding this huge satellite dish? And he's kind of like using binoculars at one point and he sees this like power station and he's driving to the power station and right outside the power station she'd been doing

some like science experiments or something and yet these dudes are like snapping equipment over their knees roughing her off I thought they were cops too but according to Wikipedia that they're the plant security but they seem like cops they are detained and taken into this

but they're taken into the plant right no well or is it the police station it looks like the police station no he goes to the police station the next oh yeah he was like There's a PR lady that comes out She's like, oh, I'm so sorry about your equipment We'll pay for it, you know, like that kind of What do we see here, but

Mexican Ron Silver? Dude, hot dog, this is funny. It's just Ron Silver with the Zapata-like mustache. Como Seyama? How are you? It's a Mexican Ron Silver. We'll take some, you know, we'll get some Platanos for the table. It's fantastic. Yo, Chiaro, a bunch of fucking hookers.

How about that? Grasias, yeah. That's right I'm fully Mexican Look at the mustache That's right I have to say They do make the smoke

No I'm actually We have some casadillas Some flantas I said no My mother's Mexican My father's Mexican Everybody everybody Everybody in my whole family

Is Mexican We live in a In a beautiful Pueblo I believe I guess you could say We're illegal aliens Give me a fucking gordita You MOOC

it's just insane they never have him talk but what's funny though is like he's a little darker too they did do a little mustache he's a little darker tanning down here you know

no they do yeah it's like well send me to fucking Sicily for a week I'll darken up on the beach hey lay off the fucking burritos hey other other Rod Silva lay off the burritos that time cup another movie with

Double Ron Silver. You're right. You're totally right. One run's never enough. Honestly. No. And now we got none. Yeah, exactly.

Fuck you, universe. How about that? Sucks, man. I love Ron Silver. He was always a great presence. And that's the thing. Like, these movies, this time cop,

these like sci-fi things where it's like, they're fine. They're like bad to fine. But like Ron Silver in the mix, man, you're bumping it up a couple of degrees. I'm going to go take a quick see. and then later it'll be

a Dia de lais de Boettos. It's a festival of a Day of the Dead. You probably never heard of it. You're going to miss the 405 skeleton parade. Make me some enchiladas. Well, the other thing, too... You ever hear of Los Lobos?

You can't have him talk because that would be awful. You don't want to do the dub because that would be stupid. But what they do is, like, they just have this Ron Silver's stare at Charlie Sheen because Charlie Sheen's looking at him like, what the hell? Yes. What the? What the?

But Ron Silver in Mexican form isn't saying anything. And he's just staring. And the look that he has on his face, he's like, yeah, I'm holding in a huge fucking fought right now. Like just the way he's holding his lips while this alien stares at this guy, it's very strange. And it's kind of amazing because, like, him and Lindsey Krause, they leave basically they figure out. They realize that they're not going to get any help from this.

They destroyed her materials. Let's just get out while they get. He's good. And Lindsay Krause is like, I don't know. They say that there's a double for every person. And he has to be like, really? That's what you're doing. Shut the fuck up. Exactly. Get the fuck out of here. I'm not buying something in your stupid gem store. That's not what this is about. That's like the worst well actually I've ever. Exactly. What the fuck out of here. And now meanwhile in America, the landscaper show up to Charlie Sheen's little unabomber facility. This is the part where it's Ron Silver is like, I got a job for you. Because I think,

that's how the movie's telling you like these are two different Rons in two different places at the same time and they go and Kiki runs into him and it's like... I got a job for hold on it's German Rod Silva. Yes. We'll have a little

brat verse. He's got to say it worse than that. I'm going to wear later hoses right now. Give me a big fucking ice cold Raderberger. Hurry up, hurry up. We're going to the Kindermot. Where all of the Ron Silver's shall one day unite from all the nations that we have been amassed upon.

Yeah, I got a piece of the wall in my living room. Oh, my God. That would be like, that would be a great little fucking, not a float, not a parade, a ride at Disneyland, you know, like, it's a Ron World after all. How good would that be? Here comes Jamaican Ron Silver. The less said about him, the better. Well, we'll leave him alone.

And also don't look at it. It's really offensive. Here comes Japanese Ranzhou. Oh, yeah, Domogato, Mr. Rabato. Okay, I guess that's a song. That's also a thing. Would you like some of this fish?

Yeah, I slept out at the Tommy Matt last night. What of it? What do you care? Oh, fuck, Godzilla. What the? I'll bring some more sashi over here. Sashi. Sashi.

Sashami. We'll have the whole bit. I'm going to have the whole bit. some sake, you know. I know it might be, you might think it's sick. It is not. It's sake. Give me another ball of Edomimi please. Tommy, come on. What's it going to take to get some Adamimi here?

This is the Tokyo Gay Shogunate? Oh, man. But yeah, so Leon Rippy and other guys show up. And the job is they plant this little sphere in Charlie's little fucking creepy man cave. Call it what it is. It's a suckball.

It's a suckball. It's giving me a hellraiser vibe. Yeah. I like the suck ball. The suck ball sucks all these stupid crap computers into it. The spherical nature of it also reminds me of

what's that franchise I don't like? What the fucking old tall guy there? Fantasms? Yeah. The phantasms got that ball. Yeah. The little blades on it. The first phantasm is fine. I don't care for that movie. I have taken several

comfortable naps to that movie. I've watched like four or whatever of them. I get why people enjoy it. I'll put a pause on my comment about the suckball until later because right now when I just want to be clear, right now it goes in his little ramshackle apartment and just neatly takes everything

off the walls and everything later it's maybe it's set to 12. I don't know like maybe it might be a supercharged. Got it. And again if it's set if it can go higher Eric can it go lower? That's the question. Can it go lower for me? So you think it could like take off

They could suck people's clothes off their bodies. Is that what you're saying? Exactly. Just to close off your body if you're lucky. Or just, I mean, like this to me seems like a great, like the higher elites in Hollywood need to get themselves some suckballs immediately because you, you know, the, oh God, Harvey Weinstein, the feds are coming for it. Throw a suck ball in his office right now while he's in it. Yes, come on.

Get all of it out of there. Actually, I'm a little bit backed up. Can I get a suckball in here? I want to get all that and take it out. Right up his ass? Yeah, right up the ass. Just take it out.

That's cool. I haven't been regular. I've been doing a lot of traveling lately. Oh, God, they found the Epstein. Set up Rod Silver franchises all over the world. Oh, wow. He's doing it old school style by just banging. Yo, we're opening one down under.

Cricy Ron is called. It's called Ron Einstein. It's called Ron Einstein. It's me with the big old hair. Oh, I love this. Steve, I think what you're asking about here is indeed answered in the second arrival. Oh, thank God. Because get this, guys, what if it was one of those suck balls, but it was just slightly bigger.

Oh, that's dangerous. Suck the world, dude. Dude, the climax of that second arrival movie revolves around the suckball. Oh, I love this. The suckball is an integral part in the conclusion of that film. That's exactly how I would have written it. I love it. What else can get sucked?

We always wonder. But now Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Krause are having Margarita's exchanging notes. She's talking about, you know, she's a climate scientist, you know, it's gone up, you know, 10 degrees centigrade and the last whatever. And that's really bad. And then like for the dumbest people in the world, they have to keep cutting back to the terraforming.

They have to show the footage again of the terraforming presentation. Right. Terraforming. And she's like, what is that? And he's like, well, what if aliens were here? They're making it hot on purpose. She's like, no, it's just man being fucking greedy. Well, again, for like slow Joe in the back row, I think it's Charlie also has the

lime. So we're talking global warming, right? Yes, yes. It's like, I don't know, man. Do you think everyone's been in the bathroom for 45 minutes? Like, we know. We know what the movie's about. But this is, it's like, yeah, we're comparing notes and also taken down some of that

tequila having a couple beers She can't Mexico and who would ever know While this uh you know sort of outside beer and canoodling session is happening we do see this is where puppeteer skeleton puppeteer

guy Marionette dude breaks into her room and just starts putting these scorpions everywhere. This is this is this is final destination meets the naked gun. They come out of something right? He has like a a guitar case or something to come out.

But actually, Eric, I'm surprised you didn't remember this. There's a deleted scene in this movie where he watches previous episode, if looks could kill where they do exactly this thing. Oh my God, you're right. And that movie was in the early 90s with Richard Grieco. Richard Griko.

They put, they put Scorpions in the spies room and they get on the sexy lady and she goes, Oh, yes, of course. To name more movie villains, Augustus Terenko, portrayed by, oh, fuck. He was the guy who was also in,

Stop for my mom will shoot. He's Robin from Cheers. He's the sheriff of Nottingham. Roger Reese. Yes, there you go. There it is. With our powers combined, we remembered shit about that Richard Brico movie.

That's right. Wow, we're super human. He's like a high school student who gets roped into being a spy. Yeah, because Roger Daltry gets sidelines. It's like James Bond Jr., but mistaken identity. that's like the whole like what's funny about this to me is like you imagine somebody like somebody who like

wrote like James Bond or something like see a normal person just gets killed yeah yeah no I mean James Bond can get out of this but normal person dying from the scorpion you but a client scientist in there she's gonna die I promise you this is the exception to the rule not the rule it reminds me the naked gun because it's like there's so many scorpions everywhere and she's somehow dodging them. Like, this goes on for way too long until she finally even goes to bed and is falling to sleep and then goes, ah! Yeah, it just started to go, eke. This is after

she, like, pretty much begs for sex with Charlie Sheen. It's insane. It was pathetic. It is kind of pathetic. Even when she starts sniffing out, like, oh, this dude, like, might have some, she says something like, oh, is there someone in a warm bed? A warm body at home? A warm body at home or whatever it is. And he's like, ah, not anymore.

Sort of, maybe. And, like, she's not deterred by that at all. She's like, she's not going to fucking know. Yeah, exactly. It's a science experiment. Exactly. We can take notes the whole time. David, just somebody, like, two degrees hotter. That's all I'm asking.

Global warming is really affecting this area, but it's really hot down here. No, a little further. Down here. I'm getting the feeling that you're the main character, and I feel like if I leave you right now, I'm going to get killed by scorpions. I feel like if we went in together, and even if there were scorpions,

in there, we'd be able to you'd find them and smash some sort of fun adventure. Yeah, you would think that, but I still think at that situation you're going to get a Fletch live situation and wake up to a dead body right next to you. Immediately. And then the next thing you know you roped up with the Ku Klux Klan

for some reason or whatever goes on that second question. And Hal Holbrook of all people. Well, the weird thing is she goes into bed, we get, I mean you want to talk about whether she's hot or not, I believe she's a very attractive woman. Someone like those feet, dude, that is Mr. Tewy like two of her feet, that's for sure. Because you are seeing those

tutsis all over these shots. And that's like, you know, her final moment here is you see the feet under the covers. Well, feet penetrating covers. Oh, that's a. They, you really needed to take two on her reaction though, because it is just like a geek. Yeah. What? And that's a rap on Denzi. Yeah. Actually, you see. You know, you're a good body. Bald face later. Yeah, her corpse will show up

later in the film. How does he get to the facility? I forget. He climbs in is my note. Does they don't have anything better? I think he has a bicycle, doesn't he? Well, he goes, yeah, I think he like rides a bike there or whatever. But this was an insane thing. I wrote my notes. Like, he sees, he sees like the facility and there's like a fence, you know, no razor wire or anything, just this fence.

This motherfucker just jumps on this thing and starts climbing. And I was like, no, no, no, dude. This is a like, like, private government power station facility, you got to throw a stick at that thing, make sure that fence isn't electrified. I mean, it also, aliens, come on. What are we doing, folks?

I also don't understand why, I guess maybe it's to, like, psych himself up or, like, stay in the mood the whole time. But when he's playing, like, Mr. CIA break into this facility, he's got the walkman and the headphones on. I think he's listening to the tape of the signal. This is what you're doing it for. But you know it's, you know where you are now.

I understand getting there with it. But you're there now. Like, now turn on like the rocky mixtape with all the inspirational songs on it. Or turn it the fuck off. You look like an idiot. He gets your classic. He gets the jumpsuit. You know, now he's walking around with all this.

He sees the big massive satellite dish comes out. It looks like, you know, in the plaza of this building, it looks like a fountain or something like that. and then it's like, all of a sudden, all the lights go out. And I think this, because he gets spooked and the headphones fall off and like the cassette tape, like, the player like breaks on the ground. You're like, all right, I guess finally that's the end of this walk man. But then, yeah, the big thing comes out and he sees the cab driver guy pull up. Right, yes. And so starts like slowly walking into the building at the middle of the night.

And he's like, all right, well, follow this duty. And I guess is the idea because you don't see how he gets in there. It's a bad edit after he sees the guy. It doesn't matter. Just going on with it. Listen, he's snooping around a facility, catch it, keep up with this. But this is what they don't, he gets in by hiding in the cab driver's trunk of his car. Oh, right, yeah.

But like, how the fuck did that happen? Right. The guy was right there. It's one of those old VW bugs where the trunk is in the front of it. So, like, this dude would have seen it. Like, it's a really bad, you know. Driving along. $1.000. Wait, what's that?

Two of hearts. Two hearts that be that one. Two of hearts. What's it? You have your headphones on sale? Shit, shit, shit. This is when we also find out everyone we've seen thus far in Mexico has indeed been an alien.

Right. Like the woman who is a PR woman and everybody, everyone is nice. You see her get, you see her alien form get sprayed with her human form here. Yeah. So let's talk about this. So, like, there's these aliens. They look really shit.

They're kind of like, they look close to gray. Kind of like Mac and me a little bit. Yeah, they got flapheads. Yeah, their brains are exposed. Brain flaps, yeah. I like that. But they love that. They are a free species.

They don't have to wear any coverings for their brains. Like a bad grand theft daughter. They just go into this thing and they get sprayed and turn into humans. And are they naked all the time or is it just for the spray? I think it's just for the spray that you put your some clothes on. Right, but like I would like to see just an alien in a t-shirt maybe. Oh, when they're in their alien form, I don't think clothes are

people. Which is weird, right? They moves past the need for clothing. Do you think we'll do that, Chris? I mean, you're going to have to wait. I think we're going to be long gone before that goes into effect. You think I'll be dead before that? Yeah, I do. Okay, good. That's just my belief. Long dead. Yeah, I did, yeah. No one would want to see it. But, like, you know, 250 years from now? You think we're all in this naked walking around? Who knows? You know what, Eric, who knows? Could go either way. Yeah. He sees these aliens get made. He sees all this.

He sees the expanse of the alien power factory, which has, it's green bubbles that go up. Well, because you know what, you know what they're doing there, which is very dumb. Those are the greenhouse gases. No, that's really stupid. That's the machine. That's what you see.

It gets a big ball of green gas and shoots it up a thing. I keep telling you guys, it's not green enough. Okay. Got to make the greenhouse. gas is a little greener. I just had somebody tell me there was red gases going up there. Are you fucking serious? I thought we had that done for the first month.

It's not Christmas time, okay? No green and red. Now I got a goddamn call from French Rotsilva. Yes, bonjour, French Ronsilver. Yes, what's up? Combo Talley Voo. I'm eating a bougette. Look at that.

It's a plate full of fucking snails. Is it that something? You're enjoying her escarget? Yeah, some bride cheese with that. I'm smoking in a library. Isn't that great? Yeah, I loved going to your Louvre. That was great.

But it's, by the way, this whole area, this whole ship, you could put, you could have Urmac and Sub-Zero fight in front of any of these structures. It's totally fine. I also thought some of it looked a little TNG-esque some of these little

Yes. Yeah. Because they're just kind of cheap, like, it's a rock formation with a ramp. Yeah. You know, and that's kind of. So Charlie Sheen is amongst aliens. Honest to goodness aliens. Holy shit. The world, your whole perception of reality is totally different.

Sure. This is like confirmation of what you've been looking for your whole life. Exactly. But you have no idea what the depth of these aliens are, where they're from, what they can do, what they can't do. Uh-oh, they're on to you. Let me go into their fucking face-changing station and shove my... Dude,

your atoms would explode. You have no idea what would happen to you. but the same time you're there, drop trow, and give it a whirl. I'd rather get caught by the aliens. They might just kill me. I don't want my fucking, I don't want to turn into whatever happens in Star Trek the motion picture, you know what I mean? When came back, there wasn't much left or whatever the fuck that line is.

Wasn't human. Or didn't live long. But you got to take a swing, Steve. Yeah, I mean, they're going to kill me. They're going to make me into one of them is definitely going to get sprayed into me. Sure. Turn into me. And then what am I?

I'm just another sucker. ball thrower working for the man. More than likely than he's going to shoot me in the head. Great. I don't need my fucking Adams rearranged by mysterious technology. You might anyway. Yeah, that's fair. It is crazy that it's the second time of the movie that he is

er, no, excuse me, third time in the movie that he is buck-ass naked. He is, and this is hilarious, he just kind of turns into a, it's, the weird thing. Melting Captain Lou Albano. He turns into Joe Estavis. Because they just put a bunch They put a bunch of dumb makeup on him

As opposed to it should be a different actor Yeah, no, I'm totally with you on that And also like He kind of looks like When in certain werewolf movies When the dude is like in the middle of the transfer It's like some of the makeup Is on his werewolf face

But it's not hairy yet When you want the skin to boil You have this kind of makeup on To allow for the bubbling Yep. Yep. That's exactly what I think I mean, hey, if you want to get Joe Estevez in there to be it. But he looks enough like Joe Estevez

in this moment. And like most alien societies, they believe in elevators without any kind of railings whatsoever. Like most of any time in space when you get a complex society when you really understand how to how to transpose

time and space, you get railings at it. You don't need railings anymore. Space isn't dangerous enough. Let's remove all precautions, guardrails, anything. No, that's, I mean, we're stopped finally. We're like an adult society. We're not thinking about the babies anymore. But this is exactly what happens when you remove

any kind of oversight whatsoever from projects like, you forget about shit like safety railing. But he's alien Jared Kushner, the landlord of this ship and was saving money by not installing the railings. He's on a ship, he's on an elevator with another alien who I believe it's the guy.

It's the cab driver. The cab driver. The cab driver, like alien talks to him. Oh, actually, so I was this is the only time it happens in the movie right he's in human form and he click clacks at him and he he just goes like a mm-hmm you know what I mean like oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah it was this

big yeah yeah yeah and the guy's about to confront him and he just shoves him off his rail he's got a line he's got a line he does let's uh how about we check out the ruins my friend oh right and the guy goes mother he gets a rid of mother and he pushes him off this day I should have voted

for railings oh no also the aliens themselves are basically they're not like they haven't like confirmed it but they're kind of on to something's amiss here because they see him when he comes in and he's like walking around with the jumpsuit on or whatever but he is again sweating profusely

and they're all like what's with that guy why's you all wet we don't do that do that Jim do you sweat I do love it is a very quaint image like this very you know like basic special effect

of this guy falling after he gets pushed out of the elevator it's like Jimmy Stewart and vertigo kind of effect or whatever so he rips his own fake face off somehow I mean it's cool but it's like I wouldn't even want to touch it like what happened

it would have your skeleton under there well his body's rejecting it because he starts running around he's like and he's like trying to like it looks like it's falling off of him That would be the beginning of... That's the great thing. It's the beginning of the arrival, too,

is he just dies of alien cancer from whatever happened. Face cancer, specifically. It's got nothing to do. No, it wasn't a hit. Like, no, it just finally caught up with it. Well, Zane, got some bad news.

It looks like you got weeks to live. Yeah. Fucking head cancer. I also love the, this whole, like, oh, I'm just going to see if aliens exist. Yeah, they do. Let's just start fucking with shit. Yeah, exactly.

Then just, like, run away without any evidence or whatever. He does touch, like, a console of some kind, and it makes a big noise. Vibrating water thing. Yes. Yeah, I know they have vibrating water. Let's get out of here. Not good. Mission accomplished.

Should have brought a camera or something or even a recording device. There is no end game for this at all, which is I kind of, remind me of the ninth gate. We're just fucking around and finding out. Oh, yeah, and he fucks it for good at the end of that. So that's kind of great. You didn't expect on Mexican Ron Silver, did you? Buenos Tia's fuck face.

You're not going nowhere. And he just hits him with the car, right? He hits him with the car. There's this weird thing that happens to the aliens is something gas leak from their side, like there, I don't know what that is. Yeah, that's, I just don't know what that is. It's more of the fake body phone. Oh, I see. He ate a lot of green gases

for breakfast. Jesus saying, I've never seen cancer like this. You didn't happen to have skin on top of your skin, did you? Because that will do this every time. It's just the end of Mexican Ron Silver? I hope we're. Because he fucking

he hits him and then he fucking double backs and you see this Jeep going over this like fake Ron Silver dummy. Oh yeah. You get a close up. You get a close up. No Buino. Yeah, so he's dead. And then like, inexplicably.

like, okay, let's recap. Broke into a government facility, which turned out to be a thing owned by aliens. Fucked around and found out with the aliens, put a fake face on your own face, pushed a dude off an elevator shaft, ran a dude over with your car,

got out of there in the middle of the night. You're the guy that goes to the police station? No. The next scene is he's talking to this cop, and I was like, what are you doing? And you've seen already that the aliens have this city on lockdown. Like everyone's in on it

But yeah he goes And this The cop who I believe is not an alien But just kind of like You know He's just a cop Collaborator Oh yeah

Maybe he's getting paid off By the aliens dude It's like Don't make me into one of you is Or nothing But I'll let you You know Run rampant around my village

Honestly the world is ending Anyway from global warming At least I get some fucking Get to wet my beak on it You know what I mean I think they're spray skinning All these people Of course not

So this dude is like Oh okay well We got a call that says, you hit somebody with your car last night. And he's like, where's the body? Show me the body. And they're like, all right, well, yeah, gonna be here any minute.

These dudes roll up, take this body that's wrapped in a sheet, like out, very, very crass, dump it on the fucking ground. It's so great. The flat bed of this police pickup truck that they have. Right in front of the window where Charlie Sheen could look out from. Yes, and it's Lindsay Krauss and she went three rounds of leather face. he had a bunch of scorpions on his wheels when he hit her or something. Wait, John. Yeah, my scorpion

powered car hit her. Yeah, wait, John, why does his body look like that? Wasn't his scorpion? My car had a sprung a venom-linked leap when I hit her. Yeah, there's a lot of poison and baseball bats. He does he does get one over on this cop, though. It's a pretty great delivery. Like, this dude comes back in and he's like, well, Mr. Zivinsky, our

word for lawyer is abrogado. I suggest you and he looks and it's like Charlie Sheen turned over a filing cabinet and crawled out a window. It's a classic at the window like the wind is blowing. He is just gone. He is just gone. And then the greatest part is we just

cut to Ron Silver back at NASA and now Zane has a beard and he's like you ever you ever travel with a Mexican road show I suggest you don't. Dude, I look like a can of smashed assholes. That's a pretty great line.

I do like that. I mean, not only, I mean, yes, he has a beard. But he's also adopted a new persona, which is duster guy. Oh, absolutely. Because he's pushed to the edge. He's got nothing to lose. Yeah. Totally, dude.

He's just wearing this duster. He's pissed off. He tracks Ron Silverdown. And he's like, I want to talk to you about, Wahaka, Mexico. I saw your face on another guy. Yep. Yep. And then Ron Silver's like, well, maybe it was just a soulmate or something. There's only so many DNA combinations you can make.

I've got a lot of cousins in Mexico. Shut the fuck up. But yeah, so he kind of gives it to him right here. He's like, I know what's up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They have this whole thing. And he gets Ron Silver to like admit in this moment he's like, even if you wanted to do anything, the plan's too far along. You can't do fucking shit. No one's going to believe you's anyway. And also, don't worry, here comes my associate, Irish Rod Silver. On top of the morning to you, and he punches him to face. Heart it in hot, hot.

Now time to enjoy a nice Ghana, goonis. I mean, it's a goonis beer. I got to hit you with a fucking shalele. Yeah, that's right. It's a big fucking stick. You're going to get hit by it. It's a hoop lager. Take a shit.

No, yeah, I'm definitely going to eat the sheep's stomach. Oh, oh. believe that's Scottish, is it not? I didn't forget. Haggis? Yeah, Haggis. I know. It's all right.

I've got to have some of my mother's homemade soda bread. Nice. Some corn. Corned beef and coffee. That's the one. There it is. So he's like, you know, it gets him to say all this shit or whatever. And then it's kind of hilarious.

It's very funny. And he grabs the camera from the tree. There's just a camcorder stuck in a tree on this like NASA campus or whatever. Which comes to nothing. Well, I guess at the very end. No, at the end, it's like that's the sort of. And also, like, that tape wouldn't change the world. It's like

two weird white guys talking non-descriptly at a college campus. Oh, shit. And it's far away. Where's the microphone? I just, I just need to see it falling from that tree. Like, a harsh wind hits it and then clink. All your fucking

evidence is gone, man. But Ron Silver knows this is not going to come. Like, okay, you got to take, all right. Now you're dead. Let him go. Who gives a shit? There's a weird sheen line too. We keep saying, like, the way he gets him to keep talking to him is he's like

he's doing the all I got a gun in my pocket thing and he's like we can thank the fucking NRA it's so easy to get these nowadays yeah oh yeah we're sticking it liberal propaganda man

but as she gets away the security guard is like hey am I a character he's like no I'm going to deal with this myself absolutely fucking not you are not a character get out of here I'm going to handle it all Am I a character?

Get the fuck out of this movie. He comes back to his place and both Shar and Kiki are there. And they're like, hey, which one's an alien kind of a thing? They weren't us, Kiki. He's trying to like explain to this kid. Like, I just spent two weeks with aliens or whatever the fuck I was doing in Mexico. Do they have weird noses? Do they have big black eyes?

They weren't us. Yeah. I do like it's kind of funny. He goes to go into the house or whatever and there's like a note on it or whatever. this kid's like oh shit you've been evicted I like that a lot we are now firmly in the blinking lights

end your movie half an hour left fleeing the facility the alien facility that's your ending you should never get back to America honestly it's the same fucking shit much worse movie with that madam web structure

it's like I'm going to go to South America and then rejoin the movie this movie does the same thing just stay down there. But, like, so, like, he takes her and, uh, Kiki to this other satellite and he's going to, he's going to broadcast something or other about the truth about the aliens. Right. It's going to send this tape to some news station satellite.

Okay. And I mean, like, okay, is that the end of the movie? Oh, no, wait. Now the, the gardeners are going to get in there and we're fighting them for a while. Yeah, we're definitely trying to like fend off Leon Rippey from like breaking into this. this, what do they call the Oro Oro Valley

Radio Observatories where they're going and he's met up with Sharr by now Sharr's back in the picture Sharr's got a great line of who is this child? Dude, dude, it's a good question. I swear to God,

like you're all four-grown men and if you're, oh no, I'm just hanging out, this is my buddy. Like if I went to my wife and I had like a 10-year-old buddy, she'd be like, what the fuck is going on? No, my 10-year-old buddies are the ones list.

right now. Thanks for tuning in. Don't tell your parents. Tell your friends. No, dude, my 10-year-old buddies are the whiskey I'm drinking. Oh, my 10-year-old buddies on the counter in my kitchen. Oh, wow. He's going through 10-year-olds like there's nothing.

He's only friends with Evans and Jacks. He's too stingy with the old pocketbook for the 12s and 15s. But Charlie Sheed's trying to make the third act happen. He's like, you're in on it, aren't you, Sharkey? That's why you did this, that, the other thing.

And she's like, no, but I love you. Yeah, I mean, the movie does kind of go. I think this is pretty successful as far as like, is she and honestly, you kind of just assume, and maybe she actually should have been, but the movie does not go that route. I do like other DOD guy, not Leon Rippie coming in, like they eventually break in or whatever.

This guy's swiping at Charlie's scene with this fucking siph, like he's the Grim Reaper? That's pretty cool. It's cool, like a sickle. and sickle yeah yeah the scythe is the two hand jobber right yeah you're right it's the bigger you're right yeah it is just a one hand guy sickle yeah it's cool and he winds up fucking communist yeah apparently he hits a fire extinguisher at one point where that it's quite something and like the same thing like the gas escapes his side he's like yeah the cold from the fire extinguisher and then

he does a double jump out of there you know more vans roll up at this point this is ron silver and the rest of his crew. Yeah, Ron Silver, Irish Ron Silver. Chinese Ron Silver is there. Japanese Ron Silver, of course. French Ron Silver, he made the trip. Yep.

The river of Ron Silver. French Canadian Rod Silver is also there. Absolutely. Get some pound teen for the table. Poundt. Yeah, I speak Quebequa, whatever. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

I got a complicated relationship with other people who live in my country. But they are like, all right, we got to get to, because they're at some little like trailer, you know, office area or whatever. And Charlie's like, all right, we got to get up to the satellite dish because like, I got to make some modifications up there. I got to move the dish. Kiki, when you see me on the monitor, you know, I'm going to tell you to push the red button. You push the red button. He and Terry Polo get like under the floorboards to sneak out of this place to dodge Ron Silver. He at this point now trust. sir because of something something and she's like you have to trust me i will and they kind of go together yeah so i guess i was just wrong about aliens being in my friend group altogether i don't know why i even was worried about i'm sorry babe i'm gonna fuck the shit out of you while you tell me about other men you're attracted to when i'm done with this oh i don't know why i was being so paranoid kiki here who just only showed up after i started dealing with the aliens and has been

really insisted about being involved in the aliens he's on the level obviously i was just You were the one I was unclear on. I'm just so confident. Kiki's just such a clutch, clutch player. I'm ready for him to really just save the day right now. One of them should get that golden eye death, you know? Oh, yes. That's a trivalian, yeah.

That's a satellite array. Can I tell you, I had a false memory of Charlie Sheen falling off this thing. Oh, okay. And I think I'm just mixing up with goldenite. Or the cable guy with Jim Carrey. I was going to say that could be. We were kind of obsessed with the satellite endings to film. Totally.

Because that was like the biggest entertainment technology of the time, right? Not those big ones, obviously, but like if you had a satellite dish, like Eric did, well, that's some futuristic shit. So like put that in your movie. Contact also, a lot of fucking satellite dishes. Well, they're all chasing after the mother of it all, which is, of course, my stepmother is an alien. Oh, my God. Satellite dish is in that movie?

Oh, yeah. He works at a big satellite dish or something. Dan Aykroyd, yes, indeed. Speaking of, stay tuned, another satellite dish movie. obviously, a previous episode. We got to get around to my stepmother as an alien. It is the weirdest fucking movie. That sex scene between Kim Bankinger and Dan Aykroy.

Pardon me? It doesn't, you don't actually see the penetration. Well, I would hope that. Was it a Disney Channel production? No. Oh, this is a movie. No, but Steve, I know why you're thinking that, though, because recently, I don't know, it was Arrow or Shout Factory.

Someone put out a Blu-ray. The poster up for it looks like it could be a Disney child. Got it. Okay. She, like, there's some scene where Kim Basinger is, like, she's about to fuck Dan Akron. She's trying to figure out she's an alien, so she doesn't know what sexy is. Yes. Even though it's Kim Bessinger.

Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. And so she looks at, like, a sexy magazine. So then she does this crazy, like, sexy dance and, like, slow motion, the camera and everything. And it's just Dan Aykroyd looking at her, like, oh, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now I know why that Blu-ray printing was completely sold out.

Oh, yeah, baby. You can't do that and cone heads. I'm sure. Yeah, great point. But so, yeah, they're going, they finally fix the thing. And they're like, and of course, Kiki, who's not an alien.

Kiki, you're not an alien. Prove it by pressing the red button. Kiki, press the red button. Mm. It's like, you're not an alien. Press the button. You're reminding me the end of Ace Venture. the switch on the wall beside you

Flip it, quit! That is exactly the vibes here but instead Kiki goes and opens the door and Ron Silver comes he's like, good, good boy. Yes, yeah. Meanwhile, Terry Polo has been wrapping a chain around the door to the satellite place.

You have no idea. I also was Kiki. Yeah, I'm strapped, bro. Figure that one out. Actually, that's a weird thing. I was thinking about this with Kiki when it was revealed that he's an alien. like when he put, when the alien put on the Kiki suit,

sure. Is it a short alien? Good question, yeah. Or is it a regular size? So it might be a baby alien. Yeah, like the GTA auto detailing thing just makes you smaller also. That's the thing is because when you see it done, the person that comes out is clearly shorter

than what the actual alien we see going. Yeah, I guess it's just. So it seems like a whole restructural. This thing is fucking with your atoms, ladies and gentlemen. Don't just shove your face into an alien technology. Well, yeah, because the aliens clearly never get cancer or that this would be a problem. So, Ron Silver and Co. Get Got because a tank of liquid nitrogen explodes. This is kind of like the end of Chud, too, Bud the Chud.

I'm just going to put that out there. Similarly, things that are in the ether and movies that were around this time, when nitrogen was everywhere. Right. Golden I. Because of T2. T2. T2. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Hot shots part. Do you also? Oh, yeah. You're right. That's right. Saddam Hussein and his dog become liquid metal and they reconstitute together. He becomes

half dog. Very funny. This is very good too. I love seeing frozen Ron Silver. Yeah. Now I'm frozen. Ron Silver. Bur. And he's still kind of with it a little bit. He's like, oh, no, don't take the that. Don't take the disc. Don't take the this got to my fucking pocket. What are you doing? I would love it. If that's what like Kurt Russell and the crew finding the thing.

It's just all Ron Silvers. Ron Silver's splitting from each other. Well, one of us is going to be Ron Silva. I guess we'll have to wait and find out. But when you know what, whilst all this is happening, one of the gardener guys has a super suck ball here. Drops it and it starts

these things are dating. You want like, especially for the damages things you can do. You want a real like a safety switch. You know what I mean? You have to put it a code before this. This thing just rolls and just starts annihilating the universe. It's crazy. It's on auto

the whole time. Like there's yeah, there needs to be like a beep boop or like your maybe you turn it one, you know, like the configuration. It needs to at least be as secure as a child lock on tile at all. You know what you push down and twist. That's what I'm looking for. That's fair.

Charlie Sheen is grabbed by Ron Silver here, and he just chops his hand off with his axe. He's just not so fast, which is pretty great. Because, like, his face is frozen, too. Not that Ron Silver really moved his jaw a lot when he spoke, but it's like,

brach so fast. It's so good. Is this where, like, he starts having a real cocaine face or something, or is that later? Well, the movie's over with, so. So it was just before this. I think he was fighting some, maybe one of the gardeners with the screwdriver. Oh, yes. Dude, he looks fucking insane.

in that scene. When he's screaming for Kiki, he's pretty hyped at that point. But so this thing, again, it sucked up his apartment, totally fine. The walls were, this thing now is like sucking up the bolts of the, of the, the whole satellite structure is coming down. Yeah, it's being sucked in, yeah, the whole building. Now, yeah, see, this, the one that we put into your little garage there, that was a one terabyte. This one's got five terabytes on it. Right. So it could just take more in, really? So then could I get like a quarter terabyte for my house? It's more expensive. But, yeah, so, like, the very end here is they survive everything.

It looks like that they're about to fall off the satellite dish for a second. What's her, if it? Terry Polo almost falls off. I believe that was in the trailer, the shot of getting, like, right to the edge of it. Yes, yes. So did they transmit this thing? Yes, they did. They haven't transmitted anything. But Charlie She does the tape. And he yells at Kiki.

He gives us empowered speech, which should be the end up. end of the movie. You know, like, this is what because he's like, you could have come to us in friendship, but instead you're trying to take us down, but now we know about you and we're not going to go easy. Others are going to know

about it. And then Kiki does the leg bend and runs away. Which is cool. I always remember that shot as a kid. Yeah, it's freaky because it's happened to a kid, you know. And then like, he doesn't say anything, so that's also eerie. But that's credits, dude. I'm sorry. That's good. Then they broadcast

it. And then we have to see like a brief second or two in the Death Star or something, right? Of the alien space ship or station or something? Where we put it off or not? Here's the good stuff. Really?

Well, I mean, look, because again, when they even broadcast it, again, it's like out of focus. It's him and Ron Silver, vaguely talking about alien terror flying. There's a lot of wind. There's a lot of wind noise. Yeah, totally. No one knows what's happening.

No fucking, you know, person would take this seriously at all. But it's funny because he interrupts. You don't see Charlie at any point in this epilogue. It's like a news broadcast. That's right. That's actually talking about the prescience of this movie, man. But it's like, oh, yeah, all of these fucking tourist towns in the Northeast

are saying that their foliage season is getting delayed by months now because of all the global warming. And I was like, like, what a fun movie. And then that's like, oh, don't adjust. your television set. Here's the shitty fucking video that Charlie Sheen shot. And then it's, you know, the last line is Ron Silver repeating. If you can't

tend to your own planet, none of you deserve to live here. Blackout. Nice. End of movie. Love it. That is David Too. He's the arrival. Go around here. Final Thoughts, Eric Siska. Yes, it is a recommend for me. It is too long. It's bloated. There's problems with structure. There's issues with it. Maybe nostalgia

blinders. I saw this a few times when I was a child. No more than Kiki's age. No, maybe a little older. A older man was like, hey, you want to watch the arrival, son? Exactly. And I went up into his creepy shed thing is a attic apartment. We're just

watching movies. He said, press that button to start the arrival, and I did. And then I repressed the memory until now. Of course. I mean, I forgot a lot of elements about this. Like, I totally forgot about the double round silvers and things like that. But it was fun to revisit this. If

If you like alien sort of paranoia thrillers, give it a world, but it's by no means perfect. Chris Cabin. It's a lot of recommend. I think it's pretty enjoyable. It's way too long. I don't know exactly. Well, I do know where you would cut it. Just cut the end.

But I just, I kind of wish it took more like the problem with like Kiki. Why don't we see what is Kiki an alien from the Gicky? go or did we have to kill Kiki? Like things like that form a base that at least makes me know that you take your story seriously. Right. And like the fact that I don't know like that's all like, well, we don't want you to think

about kids being dead. So why don't we just not do it and fuck the story? And so that kind of makes me be like, well, it doesn't have any teeth when stuff like that's like the ABLE Ferrar body snatchers is great. I've still never seen it actually. It's really worth checking out. Also, the puppet masters

is absolutely worth checking out because that's the one that is actually the most like the Heinlein book. Okay. So this is something different from that fucking film franchise I don't care for? Puppet Master. Yeah. The puppet masters is essentially the original

version of the Heinlein idea of body snatchers. There's like a stingrays on your back essentially. So no like Nazi puppets fighting people. No, none of that. I just can't watch those movies. But like to that point like there is the DNA of

something a lot more interesting and scary in this movie. They just don't get there. Yeah. I will say there is a quick hint that Kiki is an alien from the jump because when Charlie Sheen like confronts him trying to break into the window, he falls off the trellis and hurts his ankle and Charlie tries to give him an ice pack. And he's like, ah, what? I don't want that. No, it's cold. And they don't like cold. So that's right. Steve Sadek. Yeah, it's, it's a light recommend. It's almost a good paranoid thriller.

Like, again, I think the, the, the, uh, the, the, the, uh, the, the, the, uh, the Kaufman. body snatchers is hell yeah oh yeah a plus an a plus surf in that in that regard but yeah this is like you know it's a charlie she it's also this is a charlie sheed movie you can't forget that detail exactly so it's not that great um i think actually probably too he would have been better off just being the screenwriter and like because i think terminal velocity is better directed than this you know what i mean like yeah because he did write and direct this movie exactly and he just wrote terminal velocity like i think if he just was the writer on this it could have been a little tighter it could have been a little bit cooler like a little more exciting like the action scenes don't really work at this really like the dialogue is

interesting and like I do think that yeah again prescient about you know global warming it's it's fun to watch the 90s when we talk about that but you know it's just kind of a bit of a slog in parts but it's it's a recommend for me it was a weird nostalgia trip going back like remembering how many times I rented this movie how many times I've actually seen it in my life which is probably at least 10 times now with adding this one onto it and also I mean yeah just like I was the simp built to enjoy this movie in 96

because that was like the you know the height of my X-Files obsession I was fucking all about it you know so like it was cool going back to this but as Steve correctly pointed out it is at the end of the day still a Charles Sheen motion picture so it's only going to get you

so far but it is a recommend that's going to do it for this episode if you want more we hate movies of course check out our Patreon gang where there's Like 90% of what we do is actually on Patreon only. So much. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. What are we got going on this month, Eric Sisko? Well, going on this week, if you're listening to this the day it comes out, this Thursday

will be in Atlanta. Oh, sure. The city winery. We're going to be talking about gamer. Now, any aliens in that movie, man? Let me remember. Michael C. Hall, but no. He kind of looks like it.

I'll take it. I think he is one, the actual actor. And that's why we have to put a stake through his heart. Um, so Vampas. Yeah, okay. Tickets, get them. Come onto the show.

It is, uh, all information, W.HM Podcasts.com slash tour and as well, Houston, Texas, May 14th, Robocop 2 and Austin, Texas, May 15th from dust till dawn. You got to do the Texas two step, man. You want to say that you were there for the We Hate Movies, Texas Two Step, both of those shows. It's going to be a lot of fucking fun. But on the Patreon that, you know, this is still. Machine Pro.

That's right. So we have Wall Street as the WLM on there. Really fun Convo on that feature film. I've been enjoying seeing a lot of folks on like the Patreon comment thread being like, oh, I hadn't seen this in ages, or I saw it for the first time I never thought it'd be worth a damn. And the episode convinced me otherwise. And people are like watching Wall Street and liking it, which, hey, you know. Which is great.

That's what we're here for me. Also, on the top tier of the Patreon, you can enjoy our incredibly fun new show. too old for this shit. We're recapping X-Men 97. We're recapping it after people spoil stuff on Twitter. Like the morning shit drops. Really? I didn't have anything.

What the hell? I didn't have anything spoiled. I haven't watched. Your problem is you're reading Twitter, man. That is my problem. That's exactly my problem. I'm actually not really. I log in and I leave. Yeah. That's fair. Or just don't, don't follow those people. Yeah. There was some mute this morning. You got to do it, dude. But yeah, I mean,

2-12 for this shit, in theory is a show where we're talking about any number of pop culture things going on, but this first series of episodes is indeed covering X-Men 97, which has been a fucking ball. Also, speaking to top tier, man, we're in the month of April. That means a once in a lifetime came out. And we finally have gotten to what for now is the end of the Dr. Beck saga, Eric Roberts, in just what the doctor order. Yes, the final stalked by my doctor movie. Hopefully not the final, but the latest. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. latest and maybe greatest.

And also on that top tier, Melro 2.1. Where our deep dive into the worlds of 90210 and Melrose Place is continuing and is a lot of fun, spicy episode. Hear us talk about a 902.00 that you do not want to watch, but you do want to hear about. Oh, yes. And a Melrose place you want to watch and hear about. Exactly. You've also got our nexus, our Star Trek recap show. That's right. We're having a lot of fun on that one with some

some wharf a baby daddy and it's the worst episode of TOS of all time. Absolutely. Speaking of worst episodes of things, no shit. And then, you know, we also have animation damnation. We're going to be talking about the skeleton warriors. This is a mysterious object to me. I can't wait to dive in

until this 1994 carton. And then on the Gleap glossary, we'll be talking about X-wing pilot Garrick Face Lauren. That's face in quotation marks. That's his qual sign, right? Exactly. got it got it got it so there you go folks all of that stuff patreon.com slash we hate movies you want to check that out including by the way the we hate movies episode that you're listening to right now if you had commercials on it you can maybe not have commercials on it at the eight dollar level and up ad free we hate movies on the patreon and by the way the next addition to the ad free we hate movies on patreon is going to be is it the final show show yes which is what's Men at work.

Oh, yeah. I've seen this be a million times, but I haven't seen it in about 25 years. Oh, I just bought the Blu-ray, and I couldn't resist. I already watched it again, and I can't wait to spin it again. It's dumb fun. Give it a whirl. You got both brothers in there. Totally.

You get Emilio Estevez and, of course, Charlie Sheen. You know, I mean, and they're still both still alive. It's not too late for June. You think they're both still alive. Martin and Joe to put a picture Oh, okay, yes. Yes, they are still both a lot. How about the whole family all together? Oh, the foursum, do the

fearsome force of them. They're like a disgusting bastards that go on vacation or something. There's a sister floating around too. I don't think she in there too. Get them all in. I don't think she dabbled in the entertainment industry try to get them all in the boat. It runs in the family style like the Douglases.

You know, they're all. Oh, God, that boy. Oh, Jesus. And the tragic ending for that boy, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was kind of a bummer. Weird way to end the show talking about that. In any case. In prison? Anyway, let's end up.

Jesus Christ. Until next week, where we're finally talking about the wild 90s comedy, men at work. I've been Andrew Jupin. Steven Zeta. Eric Cisker. Chris Cabin.

Take it easy. Thank you.