We Hate Movies - S14 Ep750: Alien: Resurrection

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

“This is the goopiest movie of all time!” - Steve On this episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza heads to space as we chat about the better-than-Andrew-remembered sci-fi sequel, Alien: Resurrection! How fantastic is Sigourney in this one? Shouldn’t Brad Dourif’s evil scientist have tried to train just one Xenomorph at a time instead of a Baker’s Dozen from the jump? Shouldn’t we have seen the initial pirate heist of these hyper-sleep people? Why couldn’t Christie have just shaken that dead alien off his boot? How great is that basketball shot? And how fabulous are all these gloopy, soupy, alien puppets?! PLUS: The guys come up with another great sci-fi horror pitch for the new film, Werewolf Astronaut!  Alien: Resurrection stars Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Dominique Pinon, Ron Perlman, Gary Dourdan, Michael Wincott, Kim Flowers, J.E. Freeman, Brad Dourif, Raymond Cruz, Leland Orser, and Dan Hedaya as General Perez; directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet.  This episode is brought to you in part by Factor! Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 and use code whm50 to get 50% off your first box, PLUS 20% off your next month. That’s code whm50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 to get 50% off your first box, PLUS 20% off your next month while your subscription is active! Be sure to pick up your tickets for THIS THURSDAY'S WORLD WIDE DIGITAL EVENT (7/18/24) where we’ll be talking all about the action classic SPEED! Head over to Moment dot co slash We Hate Movies and get your tickets now— and don’t forget to bundle in your ticket for the Q&A After Party that’s going down right after the show that night! Can’t make it to the live show? No problem! The show will be available for replay for a full TWO WEEKS after air. So you’ve got 14 days to check out the show after it happens! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new SHEENPRIL, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!   Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, it's a movie that I'm, uh, safe to say I was wrong about for nearly 27 years. It's Alien Resurrection. I'm Andrew Jupin. Basting! Eric Resurrection. A Christopher Cabin. There we go. And we hate movies.

Hello, everyone to the program. Thank you for tuning in, as always, if you're new to the show because you like the fine franchise Alien. We're a comedy podcast where you take a movie, good, bad, or otherwise, and just kind of kick it around for a little bit. And yes, this week, Jean-Pier-Genei is Alien Resurrection from 1997. Wow, I know. You are now going to eat shit on the air. Oh, really? Because you said, you hated this movie.

I did. And now you like it. Now I do. And here's the thing. I said to you guys, I'm pretty sure the last time I had seen this until the other day, it was like pre-9-11. Like I remember I rented it. I didn't see it in theaters. I rented it very excitedly because I dug on alien movies.

And something about it back then just didn't hit. I was a stupid fucking kid. I don't know. And I rewatch it the other day. Minus the abysmal. I don't know where you guys watch it. abysmal Hulu transfer Oh no, no, yeah. Not good.

Like, I was better up with a fucking standard Def DVD. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, fuck that transfer. But I had a lot of fun with it. That's me. I have always just kind of liked this movie. Well, this is your favorite franchise, right? This is my favorite franchise, but this is my least

favorite of the bunch, I have to say. I like it, but I've always just liked it. Okay. I think it's a set, like, we were talking yesterday on the group chat about how this doesn't have like, Josh Whedon wrote this movie and he got pissed because he's like, the tone's

not right. And I'm like, I don't know, a lot of him is seeping into this. And like, that is what annoys me about this, is that we're used to very like utilitarian characters and very like, what's the job? Let's talk about the job. What's this invasion happening? What's this? This is when we're a snap and snapping. Ooh, I kind of want to rape you, Ron Perlman.

Oh, of course. Well, that's the We Didn't Touch. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. That always annoyed me, but I remember seeing this in theaters. Okay, I was about to ask if you saw in theaters. I saw it in theaters. Dude, this is my first Alien movie, and I always kind of liked it.

Whoa. I diddo here, but I rented it. I hadn't even seen aliens or alien on tape or anything. So was it just like there was a big sci-fi movie out and that's why you rented it? This was from an era I would go to the movies every single weekend. Whatever is in, I was in Penn State on the way to my first. families for Thanksgiving. We should mention that you weren't in college. I was not in college

at Penn State. I just was passing through on the way to Pittsburgh. I think it's called State College Pennsylvania. That town, yes. Oh, is it really? Oh, weird. But I was there. That's where I saw it. And I remember, it was definitely my first alien in theater. And yeah, I think I also liked

Sigourney Weaver at that point. I was already on that train. You gotta love the Weaver. I've always liked this movie. It was like Eric is my first alien movie. It's, I love the alien franchise. I went up kind of watching them later, like I think I got into them in college and Beyond and my wife loves them, so we watched them a lot. And my

ranking, and it's always been this. I think, well, it's one two, Prometheus covenant, this, and then Alien three at the very bottom, because I find that movie boring. I rewatched the special edition, which made it better, but still boring and just horrible. I think my rankings are

in tune with yours, yeah. But I didn't get a chance to rewatch three before this, I kind of wanted to I really like three I like how mean three is yeah it's a nasty it's a very nasty movie and I kind of like

that's what I wanted like if we're gonna do the we did like alien into aliens one's like very compact paranoid one's big blown out like big fucking action shit yeah this one goes back to the three gives like a lean thing again

like it feels very compact again we're in the little prison this is no space to move whereas at this one I'm just like I don't even really get a full sense of space in this place as much as I do with the other ships. Well, they literally had two hallway sets that they just redid angles on. It shows. It does show.

Well, the problem with the, for three, for me anyway, is like two blows your eardrums out, and it turns into you need more than one alien at that point because that's kind of like what, you don't know what, it's kind of hard to put that toothpaste back of the tube. Yes. Because the first movie, the alien is this unseen, uncillable thing that you, that, you, You can only blow out an airlock. That's the only way to even touch this thing. Aliens is like, no, if you got cool guns, you can kill him, which is not a bad idea.

Yeah. So then in this third movie, it's like, yeah, but we got no weapons. And now there's just one alien coming after it. It's like, eh, it's just the stakes are lower again. Right. But here, the kills are great. She has shit at the end of the end? She does.

She gets a car or something? No, it's actually awesome. Throw ourselves into a lava pit. Someone watched fucking Terminator 2 right before they want this movie together. It literally ends in a foundry kind of thing. Nice. and Charles S. Dutton sacrifices himself and allows himself to be eaten

while Sigourney Weaver and other guy dump all this lead on it and then it jumps out covered in lead which they definitely made a toy out of by the way. I remember that because I did rewatch three I finished it last night and as soon as it jumped out of the thing I was like, that was a toy was

and then like she pours water on it so that the flash change in temperature makes it explode. It's actually pretty fucking sweet. The CGI in that movie does not look good. That is the biggest problem with it, dude. Thank you for saying that. I was sitting there last night.

I was mostly into it. It's fine. It's a simpler story. Back to the one xenomorph is a little bit of a bummer, but they are just making this thing run around with computer. It looks like a Sega Genesis thing. And this movie at least has a lot of puppetry. Well, there is puppetry, but the CGI in this also fucking sucks.

Absolutely. But it's way less, dude. They're having that thing run down the hall, crawl down the ceiling of the hallway and that's why you've got to have like low lighting in every single shot I mean I also like in that in the third one where like they do get

like since these are prisoners who have not like been outside at all have nothing like they do go crazy like the guy who's obsessed with the alien and lets it out I think is a really interesting idea I got I got to watch the what is it the assembly cut you know I do want to check it out I'll find the two hours and 35 minutes at some

you see you like you get a lot of like at least in the beginning you to see like what the planet actually looks like, which is not... It is better, yeah, and they're wearing cool dusters and stuff, which is neat.

Give me a duster any day, dude. But, like, this... I will say to come into this movie, which is good, but, like I said, it's like the fifth best alien movie or whatever it is. Whatever the number is.

The... I'm not... The piss yellow framing... It was the 90s, it was the style of the time. Part 3 looks like piss. This one looks like piss. And I just...

Why were we doing that? It's a dirty franchise, right? Yeah. Yeah, because it's the, it's the one that feels more, I don't know, it almost feels more realistic. It makes franchise out of all sides of it. It showed up a lot in music videos and it gave the sense that like we're fried out, which is like what Gen X and it was all about. Like we're fried, we're done. That's true.

Like the baby alien man that comes at the end of this movie, he's grabbing people like an Apex Twin. Actually, the start of this, the credit sequence is like society shunting-esque apex twin kind of feeling. This is the goopiest movie of all time. I love the group. There's so much coop with this. The drool coming off of these aliens in this one. I'm just, I have to say it because Eric made that comparison with the baby and AFX twin,

Window, window, window, sucker, soccer. Window, window. Well, also that's, you know what? It's a really good point, Chris. If it was 90 minutes of like Sigourney Weaver, like literally sleeping and then the last shot is that alien getting sucked out the window, it would still be better than it. It would like, that, that's, that's, the whole movie to me. It is. It's

awesome because like, you know, we'll talk about it at length later but like when its ass is just like stuck out, like a little hemorrhoid stuck out the wind. It's so fucking funny. But yes, the USM Orega research vessel. Arruga, I think it's

called. But you have to say it that way every time. Communications tower, this is the USS Arruga. All systems normal. Can't compute. I'm not doing it. I could say it again. I'm not saying it that way.

It's a ship made to make Sigourney Weaver, so it is a Wooga. That's actually... 47 enlisted officers, including seven science officers. And you are just... I love the shot here. They used for this, like, first... So many puppets in this movie, this first Ripley clone puppet. Yes.

And it's like Sigourney Weaver's face. Like, they use photos of her as a child to make this, you know, dummy face. Now, they're... Listen, I'm curious, though, because, you know, some of you guys were saying this was your first alien movie. So much of this movie is just like, and kind of what I like about it, there's not a ton. And actually, all of the sequels kind of have three dabbles in it also, but I think it's delicately addressed also. It's not like, the last time I blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean? It's more subtle.

So, like, were you guys lost at all? For whatever reason, I think I'm pretty good at coming in the middle of places and kind of filling in those gaps. I remember the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. series kingdom comets four issues long and I was really excited about the DC thing the DC comics thing here we go this whatever he's going to say is going to be

four issues long here I'm kidding god damn it he got you there yeah I got nothing left take your time Aruga but I accidentally

read the third issue first and like oh weird all this stuff is going on I'm like oh that'll and I'm always like yeah that'll that'll make sense at some point and I was like oh wait I looked at Because it was so small on the side of the thing Issue 3

Oh weird But similar to this I just sort of like I don't know context clues and what have you Yeah because it's like she's the special lady Like you start the movie She's the experiment lady She's the one that's going to lead us through this

I think I knew that Sigourney Weaver was like The star of all these movies So I knew like the clone thing was easy enough to compute You of course I certainly didn't understand The like Echoes from her being pregnant with the thing for the third one. So this was also your first alien movie

that you watched? Well, I'm pretty sure, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, so I'm the only one that saw one. I saw my order was one, two, this, and then three. This was in a movie theater. That was the key to it. Sure, yeah, I wanted to go see. Got it, got it, got it. But like, I certainly did, and like, something I appreciate more

on this viewing is how, in the beginning, at least, how they set up what literally they were going to do at the end of three, like, that's what they're trying to do. trying to, a farm for, for aliens and create, like, experiments and stuff like that. That is the part of this I really like. Because that's like what the, quote unquote, the real Lance Hendrickson at the end of three. When he comes in from the company and it's like, no, no, no, no, no, Ripley, don't kill yourself with that. Because the real Ripley has a queen gestating in the chest.

It's like, no, we're going to take it out of you and kill it. And then you'll be fine. Just come this way. And that's why she kills yourself. Do they explain anywhere in any of these lore? What is the monetary value of reading a trillion dollars? They say in this movie, well, I think, what do you call it, J.E. Freeman, the Great Dane for Miller's Crossing. Oh, yeah.

He's awesome in this movie, is like, oh, not just urban pacifications. I guess, like, we're going to drop these in downtown Detroit and let them figure it out. Yeah, they do say that it is. And also vaccines and whatever else. I mean, I guess because, like, these things are nigh unkillable. There you go. You get the alien. The xenomorph will make you take the vaccine.

You just shows up in your house in the shot. I don't know, so you know more. You pick one or the other. Yeah. Either my little guy comes out of my mouth and kills you, or you can take me. He only just cuts his lip in a little blood. Yeah, right.

I just flick it. But we're watching, yeah, it's the great red. I mean, this cast is, I mean, I like the cast of three as well. You've got Chuck dance in there and, like, a bunch of, like, cool British people, Paul McGahn, whatever. This is a stacked cast. It's unbelievable the people in this movie. It's J.E. Freeman of Millers Crossing and other things.

And Brad Duref are these doctors. This third woman who's just kind of around. And they're removing the Zunomor from this Ripley clone, like very delicately. And Brad Duref is creepy from the get out. This ponytail with the metal log ponytail thing that he's got going on. Nice fashion of the future. It's a nice of the future. Yeah, it's very like, you've seen this in other like futuristic fashion

that taking from like Asian style hair clip kind of thing. Right, yeah. Now, for some reason in my mind I'm thinking about Griff tan and having that like that Bart Simpson hat, like that metal spice. Oh, yeah. Yes, totally. Well, because we have two, I don't want to interrupt you, but we have two visionaries working on this movie.

Not only are Junet at the helm, his second unit director is Petov. Petow. Catwoman. Yes, that's why that name was familiar. I think he's got some visual effects credit. Yes, he does. I think that that's great. I mean, the visual effects for the most part look good. The ship stuff, like the outside ship stuff,

it looks like we're about to cut in on Jason X a little bit. But it's still model work, man. All four of these first movies have the model work, and I love it for it. I do kind of like these. I know, I see what you're saying, but I still kind of like the way this looks. I think they do, they're smart about it to make it dark in space there,

so you're not really focused on so much. Yeah. I had just rewatched aliens a few days before watching this. And that's like the opposite. Like Cameron, like, makes it look beautiful in this place. But if you're not Cameron, make it. Yeah, exactly. So they take it out, a little cute little guy here, roaring and whatnot, you know,

and then they say, oh, can we keep the host? And Doroff gives the okay, so we're back. So they're just kind of like keeping this clone number eight. Number eight. We cut to her. This is something that's very important to me. I wanted to talk about. We cut to her in this weird, like, she's in a weird...

Butterfly sack. Butterfly sack. She cuts herself out. So her nail color is organic, this gray-green nail color. Because I think it's like, because she's the, she's a cross. I think it's like the color of the xenomorph nails, dude. It's a terrifying little detail on her. It is.

And then the acid blood, my question is... I know what you're going to say. If I'm going downtown on this lady... Yep, there it is. Am I coming up like fucking the guy, like, what's his face at the end of Robocop? or what? Yeah, I think you want to get some fucking wax paper in between there or something. We do

need to find out, yeah, does her juices? Are they affected? Is her saliva? Like, what is... Precisely. Yeah. Yeah, I think you are coming out like the evil boy from us. This whole lower part just completely... Maybe it's not... Touched by fire. It's not blood. Maybe just stings.

Yeah. You think you picked up something from her, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I mean, that would be the one that preventing me from going down on Sigourney-Weaver. That would be it. Yeah, that's the one thing. It's also her resistance It's also her security team shooting you in the head Her lack of knowledge of who you are

I would ask first Is you gonna grab her? No, no no Wine and dine, wine and dine Of course, yes That's sweet of you I love I think she doesn't do that

Who did she? Is J.E. Freeman That he's like You're going to make us all very proud And she just starts strangling him. What if she just Zenia Anatops him a little bit? Oh yeah, with her legs, right? Yes.

Bad-ass shit right here. He does that twice, the very proud. He is just kind of mocking her with it. She is really good in this movie. She really is. She elevates this movie to a degree that is almost unfair because, I mean, it's just really, like, it's a real, she's having a lot of fun with this performance. And it's not goofy at all, you know what I mean? No, it's like, she's like feral.

Like, she's just like the most delicately bit feral. Like, it's such good direction for this performance because you could see it doing a thing where it's like, oh, yeah, but this Ripley is a clone cross with a xenomorph, but she's just still acting like Ripley. This is a completely, it's a noticeably different Ripley. Yeah. I mean, she also has, uh, the aliens are very wet in this one. Oh, my God. And she is also seemingly always wet and drenched from something. Oh, so that's why Steve wanted to.

Yes. I thought she was inviting it there. I don't have to do any work. But yeah, no, it's so wet, it's so goopy. And when they take that little baby out, it's all slimy and goofy. And that's true to life. It would be slimy and goofy. Like, you get a C-section today on a human woman.

It's exactly just like this, except you get a slimy, like, monkey coming out. That's what a human is. Instead of a reptile. You've been in the room for many C-sections there? You don't want to know. Oh, don't mind me. Go about your business. I'm just here taking notes.

Is that an iPad you have? I walk around with M&Ms in the hospital. And I'm just Rube to room Checking it out But yeah Because oh god It's like a little

Like the babies Covered with slime Yeah Amniotic fluid Yeah all that Disgust Yes It's vile and it's weird

It's got this little head Yeah Much like the aliens Exactly But it's more of a You know Ape type of creature It is indeed

And you know Sometimes they're beautiful Sometimes they're really gross They're always gross Much like aliens They're never beautiful And they have They're putting them up

In these weird little hotels here Like people First of all definitely one to a room for sure the 12 people is the 12 aliens at once let's get the one going yeah why don't we see how that goes

yep yep uh it's it's very dumb putting these animals in the same cage as one another but I'm skipping a lot I'm sorry we got to talk about him Dan Hadea as General Perez in this movie I forgot entirely

that he was in this movie and when his credit came up I just quietly out loud just went Dan Hadea It was a movie in the 90s. He's always showing up in a back part. Share, you cannot take the Ford Explorer. The xenomorph has it, okay? Yes, the xenomorph drives better than you do, Cher.

The xenomorph will take you to the mall. Did you see that? That xenomorph tires made from the skin of xenomorphs. This thing can go anywhere, baby. A B-minus in global politics, share? There's going to be an egg in your room tonight, sweetheart. There will be an egg in your room tonight. you're getting your face hugged missy

no explain to me how you would otherwise how are you going to make me some money if you have a face hugger at least you're helping with the rent share but he gets pissed off because I believe it's Brad Durf who tells him like hey so this is a weird thing she kind of has memories of old Ripley and he's like how does it have

memories like he's so fucking great question I do love the line where he's like you're not going to kill it I'm going to kill it oh boy am I going to kill it Such a great Hadea line. And I mean, that is, I guess, the tension of the script and the movie is Weiden made this script that is supposed to be very funny and, like, kind of light and airy.

And then right there, fuck you, fuck you, dude. Have you seen the other three movies? Fuck you. And this movie, I mean, apparently, like, do you hear him tell it, like, the script doesn't change it all that much, it's just the direction. The tone of it is, yeah. Which I like the tone of the film.

So do I. So do I. Bark comedy. Yes. But it's like, can you imagine if you had an alien movie and it was the fucking tone of the Avengers? Like, no thank you. Those two sauces, the spices such as they are, do not

mix together well. I don't think they mix well in this version either. I don't see it as much as you do. Oh my God. With all the interactions in between the group, like honestly, it's only with the Firefly team. That's when I think it really gets out of hand. And I'm like, we'll get to it. The ambush scene, I think,

is horrendous. And we'll get to why. but like in general I just find them too cutsy and like yeah it's nice that Michael Wincott's a foot guy cool I just and like yes you get Kim Flower's ass right in your face there for a minute yeah that's it's kind of the most

unnecessary sequence in the movie but I wasn't fast forwarding sure but so we you know so the thing is right the Wayland Utani Corporation it's 200 years after the events of the first three films and Wayland Utani is out of it it's military it's the government

that's doing all this now. And their plan, wouldn't you know it? They've engineered a fucking queen that they just have on this research facility. How stupid can you be? I love how dumb and selfish these guys are. Popping them eggs out. Especially when you find out that when they're in trouble,

it sends you back to Earth. Yes, it's the worst place to go. If you can send a bunch of aliens to Earth, if this doesn't go well, we're sending the aliens to Earth. Why not the moon? The moon is a great idea. fucking go there. Aliens on the moon, little xenomorph in my mind.

Apparently there was supposed to be a sequel to this movie that would have been aliens on Earth. Yeah, which... Which is, like, a kind of cool concept to me, yeah. Which you was very not into, which, by the way, if you'll notice it by rankings, I don't count aliens versus Predator. I don't. You don't know.

I just don't think the last two movies. Well, that's where they are then. I also think those are Predator movies. Yeah. I don't think they're alien movies. Well, the alien is in it. Well, yeah, I know an alien is. The predator is more flushed out.

There's a scholar. Predator 2, so I'm going to add that to the list. The list of things of why. No, the list of aliens movies. Redator 2 is now, is now in play. So that throws off the rankings completely. I enjoyed Predator 2. A fucking alien.

A fucking alien. I think if you want to keep those two separately, though, the second one, Requiem is better than the first. agree with that. Because that's actually, that's like alien on Earth. That's alien on Earth. Yeah, for sure.

We should say it's previous episodes as well. That's right. Yeah, so I do like, you know, we're sort of like, so we've kept number eight, and we're training her to like talk and whatever. I do like the fork, fuck. Just because,

you want to isolate Sigourney Weaver saying the word, fuck, okay. That also sounds great to my ear. Yeah. Make a sound board. But do her if, you know, she's like, how did I get here or whatever? and Dura basically is like

yeah, we had some blood samples from part three. Like there was just she had, they found DNA like on the prison or something and that's how they like reverse engineered another Ripley finally is the idea. And it's like, I do love her, oh this is where she's got the great line. It's a

queen. Yeah. You breed her. You'll die. Yep. Or whatever it is. You know, it's like she knows from the jump this is a really stupid idea. She has this vague, telepathic thing. with the, like, she can kind of like sense it or whatever, which is kind of fun. Yeah, totally. So here comes the Betty, the ship that's going to dock here at the research station. And this is, yeah, this is our Firefly-esque space pirate crew. Not a Nathan Filion to be

found. Thank you very much. None of that. There's, it starts, uh, what's the guy's name in the chair? Dominique Pignon. Dominic Pignon is doing, doing some mods on a, uh, on some, uh, on some, uh, equipment they have up there. And idiot fucking Jonah, Ron Perlman throws a knife into his thigh

and he can't feel and like starts acting like a monkey which I guess this is that pure Joss Whed and fucking wit right here. Oh, have Ron Perlman

act like a fucking ape. And then what I don't understand is so Winona Ryder comes in it's call is her name? Call, yes. So she takes it out and breaks the

blade off and he acts so pissed off and I'm just like what did you think she was gonna do well you're just like I just can fucking bully these people around and do whatever I want you we know this like

we find out what this dynamic is they wouldn't take any of this shit from you Jonah what the fuck are you doing because he's like the he's basically the what do you call it there he's the guy that hits people like that says later on the movie

he's a brute they're like oh Jonah help with this or that he's like I just beat people up or whatever he says yeah this is above my paygra I'm just a punch guy. You need a punch guy, though.

Those come in handy. Like, yes, of course, you need a guy to work on the engine or fly the thing. But you'll be happy punch guys there when push comes to the shot. Absolutely. And Christy's more of the shoot guy. So that's a different. If anything, I want more familiarity with this crew because I can see how you could frame it like there's too much of them. But at the same time, the dynamics, I like them doing the monkey stuff together, like the ape noises.

It's fun enough, I guess. But I need a little more to it, I think. Oh yeah, no, I don't think it's much at all I think they talk a lot with each other Like there's not really And you don't get to know each character's like actual interior And anything like that And like their whole thing about like stealing cryotubes

Like this space pirate stuff is interesting And I wish the movie leaned into it Again, because that's the utility of it That was what was interesting about those other movies Is the utility of it Because also like if you think about the movies And how they go The first one is just literally like

Oil rig crew You know what I mean in space Second one is Marines in space Third one is prisoners in space And now this should be Space Pirates You know what I mean? Like mercenaries and blah blah blah blah Like that's the thing you really want to fold in and figure out

And famously what you do with those is your cool leader You kill him off immediately And like just get him the fuck right out of here Well because it would be I think like a battle between Wincott and Weaver as far as like script supremacy I would prefer that tension That who's the leader rather than fucking Jonah the ape I'd like to, you know what, Wincott would find out about what happens when you go down on her.

That's the problem. Oh, we can finally get an answer to your question. Don't worry, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. You can stop sending those letters to Sigourney now. He does. He comes up and he starts talking normal. I was thinking about it because we always say that Ron Perlman looks like Tom Waits. This movie solidifies to, if you put Ron Perlman and Michael Wincott in an alien Jeffreys tube,

coming out the other end would be Tom Waits. Yeah. There's the voice and the look and like... The voice of a Wincott, the body of a Perlman. This is a great idea. We've got to get you to space and get a facility up there. You've got to start breeding these. No, no, no, absolutely Sigourney Weaver's up there.

No, no, I'm not kidding you, Steve. She's right up there and she is waiting for you. She wants to have a long talk. I love it. Wincott is Elgin, and yes, Kim Flowers is Hillard. They are seen together in one scene. But he does say that Winona Ryder, is extremely fuckable.

I was like, uh-huh. Thank you, Mr. Wincock. I can smoke in space, right? That's cool. All right, thank you. He is smoking in space. He's getting U.S. dollars or whatever at one point. There's somebody, I wanted to get a close-up of it.

I couldn't get at any point. There's somebody's face is on those things. And it kind of looks like J.E. Freeman. But it's not him. Oh, on the money? Yeah, on the money. It might be a bison box. We didn't change.

Oh, that's true. Bison might have come to power. he's getting stacks by the way like wouldn't you be on credits by now I guess well there's a lot he wants cash Dana Day is like it's not very often people be you know get money or whatever Yeah yeah yeah yeah but that's I mean it's a space pirate thing

That's how they got a fucking this is our fucker and got no credit account I mean this is this is their modern equivalent of like the chest of Debloom sure ULs and don't even try that Bitcoin horse shit on it That that shit tanked 500 years ago What do you think I'm trying to do here by poor child poured on the dark web I don't eat that fucking shit but so they're unloading their cargo here that they're dropping off for these guys

and wouldn't you know it it's a bunch of people in cryostasis and this is just such a supremely fucked up bastardly thing this movie's so nasty I love it what a fucking sick thing they're doing to these people that's the thing is if I think if they focused more on what they're doing here and like we miss I mean I guess Hadea and J. E. Freeman are supposed to be the the money guys here but I don't get a money guy like I get Paul Reiser or Max Henrickson where it's like who would run something like this

and how like fucking heartless would they be? You know why? Because Hadea and Michael Wincott die too soon. And then like... And it's also a different type of like capitalist guy, right? Because Paul riser's like the weasley like corporate piece of shit trying to do anything for the profit. Space pirates. Where do you know, we go?

Where they actually... It's a little bit different, you know? Well, for those guys. But I mean, what they're doing on the ship like that is what Waylon was trying to get to that literally this was what they wanted so like why isn't there a guy there and I guess Jay Freeman

supposed to be him but like I he's like too much of a piece of shit like I'm not thinking about that part of it he's trying to kill all the Betty guys so therefore I don't think about what he's actually doing there this is the government now so they can just print money yeah right hand it out to your space privates so we have these folks

and they have fucking facehuggers placed in front of the eggs for the and like the dude that wakes up early yeah oh god oh god this dude just wakes up and the egg is opening and this guy just starts fucking screaming i would do the same it's so funny that like the government buying frozen people yeah just stolen people to buying yeah buying frozen stolen people it's not like we're donating bodies to science or whatever these people were like uh what's his face uh leila norser's character is like i was um a mining dude went into cryosleep to go home where am i what the fuck is there an alien here but i do think

that this probably happens a lot this happens to rippley in the first two movies as she goes into cryosleep and then like you know that you catch the wrong wave and you're lost forever i mean space is just littered with cryotube that's right i need an opening scene of the space pirates getting these two yes yes yeah let us see the operation like they board a ship under false pretenses and then i can understand like, okay, these guys aren't to be trifled with or something. That's a great point, Eric, because that, again, to my point of the, this should be the

space pirate movie. They should lead, and we're seeing through their eyes what's happening on this facility, and we meet Ripley through them, kind of a thing. Yeah, no, that's actually interesting, like, who are we watching the movie through? And I guess the closest thing is number eight. Yeah. Ripley, but it doesn't,

yeah, the focus isn't exactly there. You are kind of, as an audience member, sort of lost at sea in the movie. You are, you have a... jumping around. You get Hadea and Wincott scenes. Like, you're jumping around. If anything, they should have started with the Space Pirates, as I said, just getting these crowd things. And then they find

number eight, like, halfway through the movie. And then it's introduced, but we get so much of, like, it's like, teenage clone when we first opened, like, in the, in the shoot, and then she, we have to see so much of her fucking just being in prison. Including her taking it

to the hole in this basketball scene. I laughed at this slam done. It was so fucking funny But this is what I want to ask you guys Because it's been a minute Doesn't she In her blue persona Play basketball in one of those

Avatar movies? Yes she does Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's her avatar And she's wearing like a college t-shirts And I think Yeah, I thought they were playing basketball

It's the first one when they first get to Is she the only actor to play Space Basketball twice? Wow, she has to be right? Yeah, exactly. Oh, the Looney Tunes. There's that. No, but I was trying to think, like, yeah, how often are you seeing sports and space like this?

Is she the only space basketball player? Aside from the Lunitons, yes. Her and Porky Pig. The Looney Tunes, Michael Jordan and LeBron James. Yeah, yes. Space Jam counts. That's the problem with Fox. Well, actually, no, Disney had, oh, no, it's Warner Brothers.

That's right. Warner Brothers is Space Jam. It would be great if in that second movie, LeBron James just gets fucking. Ripley uh to play oh yeah why not shoot threes dude uh yeah but this is great like because it is weird that instead of yes seeing the space

pirates do this operation as an better introduction to them our formal like there's not a lot of action happening let's meet all these characters in the room is this basketball scene yes and it's Ron Perlman being very rapy right here and creepy to her

I do love this is Sigourney making that fucking behind the head headshot that took ages, but she insisted on doing it. Good for her, that rules. It was great. Good shot. Love bouncing the ball into his dick. Yeah. Dude, nutshot with the basketball is fucking great. My nerds.

It's like, I always love seeing characters like that kind of get theirs for a second. Yeah. Because he's like, oh, you want to hit a slam dunk baby? Like, whatever. The part I don't understand about this scene is, you know, she does the thing or like Ron Perlman's being really rapy and like Ron Perlman, we know is the guy

that everyone on the Betty kind of puts up with. But like when I think she hits him in the balls or something, they start kicking her ass. Like Gary, what's his face from CSI grabs a fucking dumbbell? How about this for size? I'm like, you're going to kill this lady? What's happening?

Dude, mess with one, mess with all. I guess. What's kind of confusing about this crew, like them going to that level out of nothing. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Especially because I just saw them fucking hate each other. Like, fucking a minute ago. But it's the hate of like ball ball busting kind of thing. Like, that's like,

That, like, the ball busting and whatever, like, I don't think it's on par with, but it did remind me of the ball busting with the crew of the Nostromo. It is that kind of same thing. And I would argue, we kind of don't have a lot of interior on those guys either. I'm just going to put it out there. We don't, but it's better crafted. It is. No, it is. I'm not saying it's not.

I'm not saying, when we're talking about this stuff, remember those guys aren't fucking. But their job is a lot, their job is a lot clearer. Yes. That's true. It's like, labor. Yeah. Utility. Oh, pirates don't work.

Oh, those people just kidnap themselves, huh? That's crime work, excuse me, it's different. Don't talk to fucking James Conn and Thief about the differences between crime work and work, work. We talked about a little bit, but I want to talk about it just because it's the weirdest, stupidest space thing in this movie. Oh. Is when Dan Hidia, he's like, Alta, let's have a drink, okay? He's like, I'll do you a drink, and he goes constantly, which is a great back and forth. And he makes him a whiskey.

And the way he makes him a whiskey, it's a whiskey ice cube. or a cube of whiskey, a bullion cube. Oh, yes. And it has to be lasered in order to become drinkable whiskey. That's ridiculous. It bursts into whiskey. I kind of love this because it looks so fun. It does look fun, but I mean.

It's just some science fiction thing that do. How is that more efficient than a bottle of whiskey that you would have? Because you could travel with these little solid. You get your sack of whiskey. You get a cube of them. You have just like a big packed cube. Yeah. Like ice tray.

Just fill a little whiskey cube. Maybe you talk of me in? I mean, that's the thing. The one thing I will always give. But now if laser breaks, now I'm licking this cube like a loser. Right, yeah. Well, that's, I mean, if you really want it, Steve, and you're going to have to look that way.

All right, here's what we do. After this, I'm going to put some whiskey in an ice cube tray. We'll freeze it, and then we'll start licking it and see if you work. It'll work. Oh, 100% work. But what I like about Josh Whedon as a writer, the one thing is that he is good about those things. Like the whiskey cube, the fact that fucking Danaday is eating a lemon. Oh, yes, that's some psycho shit right there.

The breath of a code thing, like how you enter a door as you breathe on it. Yes, very cool. Those little things are what he is very good at peppering this and it keeps this thing alive. If you focus more on those things, I would probably like it more. I liked how in Call at one point has like a bunch of the sprays of the saliva. Yes, yes. It has to go through them. Those are cool ideas.

You know what that is? That's a little taste of like little tricks that they get up to with their piracy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's how they may be bored a ship that way. Okay, I'm going to go in. I'm going to get some Hadeus saliva.

Perez is good. He's a sleeper. He's a little bit of his saliva. Oh, in case we mess. Habedabadababababababah. You just, yeah. You got to kiss it out of his mouth. Yeah, there's some tongue kissing

and then Winona just spits in the top. Oh, Carla. Go down on me, Carla. Carla, there's a xenol. morph coming at us close the bar Carla the basketball scene concludes with her after that beating

the fucking you know prison yard beating she has right here she spits some blood and then I love this little close up on the blood it just fucking eats through that basketball floor it's a great way of revealing that we also see so now the colonists have been chest bursts we don't see it happen

they're just full grown aliens in again like there's like three or four to a pen and like you really one per room only, I think. Also, you want to get, you know that, what's that stuff you buy for cars where it's like rubber for your car that's like laser sculpted for it? The

car guard or whatever you get? There's like rubber math. Yes, yes. You want to put them under the alien, maybe like, have an acid-proof rubber probably. It almost seems in this movie, for all there, we got to clone these things and whatnot, but they're unaware that these xenomorphs have acid

blood. Yeah. Which is weird. a detail you should have figured out before you started growing these. Especially since it's 200 years. Yeah. You had time to learn about it. Oh yeah, yeah, for sure. There's been reports. You know what's going on. I mean, unless Brad Durf is going to be at that console all day

no matter what to press the freeze shit. Oh, yeah. That's cool for me. Yeah. You know that would be great. He's jerking off in front of those things. Oh, absolutely. Well, it's right here we see he's fucking kissing the window and everything. Yeah, he's like really getting up and close on there getting really sensual with this alien and you know after dark he's just shooting loads on their class.

He's got like heavy metal sketches of like aliens with huge tits and stuff like that. Definitely. Oh yes. Yes. See, pepper that in. I want to like let's drift over his workstation and see his naughty doodles. Uh-uh-uh. But we do, yeah, it's like basically like

the alien gets too close to the glass. He's kissing it. Then he freezes it. And then when he goes to the button again, he's like, eh. And he's like, oh, you're fast learner. Yes, because that's one of the things that they say to Ripley, and I think her response was like, you breed them, she, you know, whatever you die, whatever that line is. Um, that's

when he's like, yeah, well, we're going to train him. And she's like, you're going to try to domesticate these things is what she's saying. And like, you're seeing this. Like, yeah, it's like, if you're bad, you get the freeze button kind of situation. There's a good line there with Hadev, but like yeah, trying to teach, um, you can't teach them, like, well, we're teaching you.

Yeah, we're teaching you. You fucking alien. Well, no, of course. we're going to have some xenomorphs protecting the merchandise at Walmart eventually, we would just have the freeze rays coming out of certain vents along the way. Number eight, do you understand the shoplifting rates on Earth

right now? They're through the roof. There's a broken window at Starbucks and we are going to beat the solution. Number eight, they threw up rock through the Best Buy window. Look, what did I say about stock retainment? You've got to eat some of these fuckers

if they try to take stuff. someone's trying to lift the deodorant that's behind a protective plastic that is a DVD copy of rumor hasn't okay you can't just take that somebody brings an alarm

a fucking xenomorph comes out we get this scene where some of the pirates are sitting around drinking here and calls like fake drunk right here she's trying to pour the drink wearing the boxing gloves which is funny she kind of doesn't make sense Nope. I don't know.

Like, like, spoiler alert, she's an android, which is a cool, cool twist. But, like, it's unclear as to why she's with these space pirates, why she is working against the interest of these space pirates, like, what liberation manifesto? She's, like, looking for Ripley to kill her because she's like, oh, my God, I know that this, she's, like, aware of what's going on the facility before anyone else is.

Let me do this favor of killing you. Like, what the fuck? That's presumptuous. Jesus. say that she is like 200 years old as well or something, build up something, because what doesn't, don't they say like she's like a, escape the thing, like, she's not like special.

She's a special. She's not actually being controlled by the, uh, the Rucker Hauer brand from Blade Runner. She's a, she's a robot that they say was built and engineered, like designed by other robots. And those robots were deemed like illegal or whatever,

like whatever problem they found with them. So they like killed all of them. but like she escaped being deep taken apart away that's all like Raymond Cruz like doing his best like it's like four pages of dialogue

you have like 30 seconds to say it and he's like well you're one of those second gen Redd was oh my goodness did they do that didn't that happen oh my goodness yes that's exactly yeah Raymond Cruz does have that dump a little later in the movie when it's revealed at this point give me a scroll

but so yeah so she she uses Hadea spit to get into the Ripley facility great Matt painting right here when she runs across, like after she gets kicked out of the booze room or whatever, and she's going to where Ripley is being kept, she runs across this platform

and you just see this massive mat painting of a cargo bay. Oh my God, it looks so nice. Also a great line from Ron Proman here. And again, I like Jots Whedon enough even the, you know. But I like his work. His work, yeah, not as a person. The line is like, oh, she's drinking because Ron Perlman's special brew, like, moonshine.

I just like, is what you put in this battery ass? It's like, yeah, for color. That's a really good line. But yes, you know, Ellen Ripley died 200 years ago. You know, you're not her. Let me, I'm going to kill your baby. She says to which Ripley replies. And what makes you think I would let you do that?

And I love that because you're like, wait a second. The hero of these first three movies now wants to protect the thing that she's battled against. This is weird, you know. And, but she's like, it's already out. it's already breeding, et cetera, and like, yeah, what owner writers or calls,

I'll kill you if you want, and she's like, I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm totally fine. And she does this thing with the knife through the hand, and the knife kind of is being burnt by the acid, which is kind of cool.

It's pretty awesome. But then the knife doesn't burn, really? Like, as soon as she takes it off, like, the blood just disappears. I would like it to, like, actually disintegrate. Like, it just was just like, oh, no, it just sizzles a little bit. Well, I guess it's,

to sort of show you that she's not exactly a one-to-one. Thus begins the subplot of this movie, which is, they're going to kiss, or hold on, you wish. It was on the table. It's on the table. It's very clearly

in the subtext. It's very, oh, it's a Joss Whedon script. Oh, I'm sure. Oh, I'm sure. There was a cut. But yes, a call gets caught right here, and alarm goes off. Wait, she could go down on her. That's a robot, right? Oh, that's true.

But all that fake skin would start falling off too. It may burn faster. Oh, my God. So it could be the exact opposite effect. Half comes up looking like one of the fucking T-800s. Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch. Oh, my Lord. Yeah.

This sounds really like an interesting idea. Yeah. I love that. I don't know which dude is it, but someone calls call a text. terrorist, which is pretty funny. It's weird hearing the word terrorist in this movie. And I think it's Jayfrews. You brought a terrorist aboard this ship.

Yes, you're right. You're right. And he said, that makes you all terrorists. I get to kill you. The Vries there. I want John Polito to go. You're giving me the high hat. This xenomorph's giving me the high hat, mink.

Well, you imagine him saying, you're real smart, aren't you, Jonah? It's another wandering xenomorph job. But no, I think it's Vries. gives a yell here. Christy! And then they just start killing the fucking pirates and the soldiers are fighting. They start killing all these

soldiers. We set up that Christy has these cool handguns that just are like wrapped to his arms. Pretty sweet kind of stuff here. That's a bad fucking metal detecting scan by the way. You want to get the arms too. Like raises and all right well check the wrists, the waist and the

Yeah. Did Dana Heidea not give them like a little bit of like, no these fuckers will kill you? Yes. They really will. They'll blow your head off. It's kind of fun. because what is the flub there unless they're made out of other material because we learn later Vries has a

in his wheelchair there's gun parts that he put together and when they're going through he's like, would you like to scan the chair? And the dude's like no like go through. Gary what's his face? Christy doesn't get that. Well, Christy, it's so stupid they're just like, well, we did

a scan. Better not check anything else. Better not do a pat down. Never mind any of that. And Ron Coleman has his, he's got a drink container. He's like, hey, got my drink in here, but it also is a gun, too, that he turns into, which is pretty cool. A thermos gun, right? Yeah, totally. You could sell that all right.

I'm sure there's, there's a lot of thermos guns out there. They're out there. They do not work, and they'll take your money. Welcome, Patriots. I got a 3D printed thermos gun for $45. Only works as thermos. I do love the move here where the guys got the fucking gun.

like up against Christy's head like the back of his head or whatever and he's I guess like that's this dude's power is like ricochet he's like bullseye and he ricochets that bullet and it just hits the dude through the helmet pretty badass

meanwhile the xenomorphs are like going eh eh eh they're like they make their play like ah ah dude it's great because one this is 1997 so yes raptors have already talked to one another

so that's what this reminded me of a lot but also I was watching it with the subtitles on and it just keeps every time they talk it's like they present it as dialogue in the subtext and subtitles and it just says snarls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's amazing, honestly, is like you can see what's going on here.

They were like, look, you know, if we cut one of us open real bad, we can bleed through the floor and then the other two can escape, right? Who's going to draw the short straw? All hail the queen. The queen wants us to do this. This is our job, all right?

Right? Tommy? Wait, I don't even get to meet the queen. No! Oh, no! Yeah, they just fucking kill one of them. It's kind of brilliant. What is the point? I kind of forget, why are they,

why would the pirates take over this ship? The pirates, I don't understand what the pirates are trying to do. They are pirates. It doesn't make any sense, Eric. That's what they do is take over shit. That's fair. It's a ship we better take it over. Well, they're taking it over because they think Dane is going to kill them.

Because Dane has been very much like, oh, you brought a terrible. on here? Well, nobody's leaving. I mean, I think it stems from that. They get into it right there after the call is found in the cell. Because, who's starting shit, man? Well, the weird part is because Wincott, unless he's got, he might have

other plans, but like when he's sitting down with Hadei, he's like, no, my crew could use a couple days just R and R around your ship, but it's like, okay, yeah, this is a secret this is not Riza, okay? This is like a secret research facility with honest, to goodness, you know,

morphs on it. I think you'll have to take it somewhere else. I would take my money and leave. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's if it is a plan, I need to hear that it's a plan. If that's what we're going to be doing here, but also like, I wasn't, it's kind of a rude awakening when this happens because you're like, oh, they will just kill

all these people. And like, there's space pirates, but not all pirates, pirates will take fucking kidnap. Did you just not all pirates? You just did? Some of them like to kidnap. Some of them are very into kidnapping. And like, that seemed like more of what they're tone was their playful tone like

oh, knifes into each other. First prefers a nabbing pirate. Yes, I do. He's going to nab you. Because it's a too-e. I mean, like, yeah, it's cool. And you get to see like what they all can do. That's nice. But like, I'm also like, oh, so you're just slaughter people. Okay. Well, I think one,

you know, they're like reactionary psychopaths pirate people. So that's kind of like, again, it's the same thing from the basketball scene, like mess with one, mess with all. They're going to, they're giving call shit. And it's like, it just goes tits up. I don't, to your question about what the plan is,

I don't think there is a plan. Yeah. They're just moving as it goes. I wish there was just a little more to establish these characters. Oh, yeah. But so now the aliens are, they cut a hole in the floor with the blood of the one or the other and start going down. And fucking Doroff is way slow on that freeze button, dude.

Way slow on the freeze button. Also way stupid on the, let me put my face in it. Uh-huh. Because he's just like, wow, there's an acid hole in the floor there. Let's go check it out. And he, like, puts his face down. like wow it's going through lots of level and he just gets pulled through

in a movie with great kills I was like is that the end of Brad Durr? No no no no it's not they spare him in a way and make him part of the wall they kind of spoke him they want to get a little flavor on him they're making jerky dude yeah they have them up

there and they'll hang it but that's also I mean very clearly from the the kissy scene you know that this is exactly what he wanted this is his dream he is coming in that In that chrysalis. Yes, absolutely. That's what the chrysalis is.

It's just his cum covering him up to his neck. Nice. But. Creepiest shot in the movie happens right here, Steve. What's that? Because the alarm goes off, like shit's going tits up, so the alarm on the station goes off. And it awakens General Perez here, Dan Hadea, mid-wearwolf transformation. Dude, he sits up in bed.

And I guess if the trivia is to be believed, who knows, he was supposed to be shirtless. And everybody was like, absolutely not. So they gave him this raggedy-ass tank top and the chest and shoulder hair that just is one big rug. Yes, because you would look like another science experiment. It'd be like they're creating an ape man

or some kind. I was half-warwolf. Yes, they're creating werewolves on this ship too. Listen, I did some of the work with the Alton States and I'm half monkey man. You're a wear man. Werewolves made by werewolves. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. meet one of you second generation werewolves. I didn't know you could be in the military and be, I've all my dreams come true. And in outer space, everywhere has a full moon. Great point. Oh, dude, you just made a great movie right now. Space

Werewolf. Dude, that's the tagline. Oh, here's what it is. Oh, no, even better. Werewolf astronaut. Here's what happens. Mild-mannered dude, right? Goes through astronaut training or whatever. Just a totally normal life, completely fine. Goes up into space. realizes at that moment he's a

werewolf, like that's where he learns because he just accidentally turns into one. Yeah, because he got bit by a dog a couple months ago. Yeah, didn't think much of it. Sure, exactly. I'm not even going to tell the scientists about that. I don't need a tennis shot. I'll tell you, before I saw the baboon, I thought that was happening in Ad Astra. Yeah. For a moment there. I was like, well, wait,

oh boy. Oh, that would have been pretty cool. But I like this idea, we're well-fashioned. TM, we hate movies. Yeah, that's right. So the xenomorph. So a couple of soldiers go in right here. I can't remember if it's anyway. Houston, you have a problem. Ahoo! Yes. I would love that. That's the end of the trailer.

Yeah, that would be a good and then you're watching it later and you're like, that's the trailer live. Yeah, and the date comes up, you know, this summer. But yeah, so these soldiers like come in to see what's going on and this xenomorph that knows to use the button and

freeze this guy. Oh, fuck, it's cool. Yeah. He's just screaming, getting flash frozen. And his arm rips off, it's fun. There's a big victorious xenomorph cry right here, which is awesome. Like, it's a real like, fuck you! It's so cool. And now the xenomorphs are out and they're around and that's, you know, it's cool.

And they look really good in this movie. I will say that. They really do. The puppet looks really nice. I love the drool. The drool is fantastic. So much clear drool off these guys. Yeah, it's like saliva all over. It's on their head. It looks delicious. It looks like corn syrup. It kind of does. It's like corn syrup. I want to lick it. corn syrup looks delicious to you? Not really, but I'm just saying it would taste good. It would be sweet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before you're eating. Think about that a sweet little alien, like, goofy. It's like if you, if you, like, put a bunch of high fructose corn syrup on a cockroach. Uh-huh. And then you eat it. I wouldn't do that, but I support you. I'm sure it would be better than having a cockroach.

Yeah, that's a good point. I guess the only other option was a plain cockroach. No, but I think they're closer to lobster. I think if you get under there, there's some good meat. in there. If you could stand the acid of course. Right. Do you think if you boiled one of those guys, they go from black to red? Probably, yeah. That's how you know they're done.

Well, that's the thing is it would definitely be, I do agree there probably is some good meat in there, but it's like blowfish. You have to do it so delicately to get the one piece of good meat in there. And it's ethically, you should put your knife through the alien skull first before you start carving into it. Yep, that's right. Don't just

dump it in the pot alive. That acid taste, you've got to like poach it in butter for hours. We have a very special it's a xenomorph steak and we have it over arugula we have it some roast tomatoes on the side and yes we do we drench it in corn syrup we just pour a corn syrup all over it

it's a soup really fine dining you know 200 years maybe that's dude you keep going farther in the future in this alien world and eventually it gets the point where like humanity has tamed the xenomorphs and we do just eat them like cows like this and this 85 McCall

Is that lasered from a cube or is that bottle? Oh, it's a laser from a cube. Oh, good. Very well. Thank you very much. This was actually cubed. Yeah, no, it's a great year. It's a 40-year-old cube.

You know, cubed in the 20-26. And it was fresh out of a barrel when we did it. It was aged in an oak barrel covered in xenomorph acid blood. Oh, delicious. Oh, yeah. We actually don't have any port. We only have pork cubes. So, I mean, if you're looking for an after-desert thing.

Ooh. I'm getting thirsty. We don't sit down to dinner enough in this franchise. I want to see the spread. We do in this franchise. We don't in this movie. Which movie has the spread? Like, fucking, uh, definitely Prometheus.

Definitely the, like, they're all around the table. I mean, this one does have an eating scene. That's the fork, but like, it's just sort of like, for her. But it's just her. Yeah, no, I agree. You want that group, you know, community table dinner. Prometheus, by the way, anyone who thinks that's a bad movie, I don't know how to talk to you. It's a great.

Listen, it's okay to dislike a movie, folks. If you're screaming and you're screaming and, your car right now after you're in that I will say I prefer covenant I like Covenant better than I like them both I like them both but Covenants I think is a really special movie is a fucking ancient aliens

Jesus Christ was an alien movie and I love it for that it's fucking great you think that's people's problem with it it's like not my Jesus it's by that I mean it's the first movie of these that doesn't have Sigourney in it which is a huge deal but they put in Michael Fossbender and that's a really smart movie

it is this creepy fucking alien it's a great character. I think it's the best character. I love, is Guy Pearce only in Covenant, or is he also in... He's in both. Yeah, he's like in Super Age makeup in the first one. He's Wayland, right? Yes. Yeah, I kind of rewatch those. I mean, he's in, he's an Android, right? Not an alien. Oh, no, he's...

No, Fassbender's an alien. Fassbender's an alien. Is he? No, Fastbender's an android. Steve said Fassbender's an alien. Oh, I'm sorry. I was just saying, I think you meant Android. I did mean Android. Guy Pierses is a person though. Yes. Yeah. It's still list. Alien Covenant has perhaps the best swish

of this whole whole franchise. Oh, someone makes it behind the back basket too? Killing off James Franco before he gets a word to say and being burned up in a fucking cryo chamber. Like that is just genius. See, now I have to go back because I don't remember that. I forgot.

Wonderful movie. Waterson is his girlfriend and then she's like, No, get about. Oh, sure. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the aliens are. out now. Got to evacuate the place. Yes. And this is the great, it's very, this is very loony tunes. It's like

fucking Hadea getting all these Marines into these escape pods and it keeps saluting them and they get shot out. They keep getting whatever. Yeah. One gets an alien in there and it fucking, it's goop city. It's so awesome. And then is that the same one that Hadea

or somebody throws the grenade in? Hadea does it. And it explodes out in space. Like, you need him going like, sorry, fellas! just saluting it as they blow up. No room at the inn, sorry. Oh, God, it's behind me, isn't it? There is that.

And then, like, man-o-man, him picking and looking at his own brain before he dies. Yeah. Good death. So awesome. But I think you're right, though, like one of them, either him or Wincott need to live to sort of flesh this out a little bit longer. Yeah, my dad, man, I haven't seen that since the Sbruder film. What's crazy is Hadea and then and Wincott get it back to back? Yes, exactly. Right after Hadea's playing with his brains, we cut to Elgin, and he's like, stalk in the hallway.

This is, you got rid of the two most interesting guys to watch for me. Yeah, no, I agree. There is a very funny, Elgin gets a jump scare by a steam tube that goes, which is kind of a nice, like, in this moment in the movie where, like, everything's going tits up, and, like, the movie's going at a clip, and people are dying. Just a hose scares you for a second. pretty great but him getting ripped through this floor it's good but in a goryer movie you're just pulling up half a person yes

I would have preferred that yeah I would have preferred that yeah you just get it through the stomach whatever his lady friend is devoid here um and everyone's like oh my god what are we going to do um is this one uh ripley says who don't have to fuck to get off this boat I think so I think it's around here something

like that but we have to say they're all like freaked out like here's this xenomorph it just got Elgin what the fuck are we going to do, blah, blah, blah, that's right. And Sigourney shoots this thing through Elgin's chest hole. Yes, that's right. Oh, God damn, it's cool because it's like, oh, what's going on? And, like, the shot kills the thing.

And Sigourney, like, comes up, like, that's where she's been hiding. It's awesome. It's twisted, and it's awesome. And, wow, you know, she's only a few days old. Already learned how to sell her body. I really don't appreciate that. Well, I mean, I like that they do that. And then, of course, we get the great kill at the end when, uh, Lel

endorser puts it through Rens. Oh, my God. It's also through that. That's a real good one. But yes, Steve, you were right because they're like, oh, by the way, uh, I, you know, someone confirms like, oh, there's there are officially 12 more xenomorphs on the ship. And then that's, she immediately goes, who do I have to fuck to get

off this boat? Yes. And there's no more escape pods left. So oh my God, what are we going to do? We have to get to this other thing. Ripley pulling out the little tongue guy, like a fucking trophy is pretty great. Just, she gives it to Winona. You want a souvenir. Yes. pretty great i mean yes but this is gross

i don't what i don't like in this movie is all the times call is giving her shit about like why do you want to hurt your own kind you just killed your own kind right there yeah and i'm like how do you feel about rippley like i don't i don't it changes from scene to scene her opinion of this clone well i i get the feeling like i didn't read a lot about how this was like in pre-production or what they did But it does feel like eight was added. Because you would imagine Winona would be the Sigourney role in if it was just the pirates versus the aliens. And like now with this, like, she feels so, I mean, like, Steve already brought this up, but she just feels like she's just reacting to whatever is happening in each scene.

Like there's no real character there. It's true. Well, she is a baby. I suppose, yes, a brand new baby. But I see your point exactly. I feel like there is, there's probably a lot of rewrites. This is a bit modeled. I'm sure.

There's probably scenes deleted, scenes added. For sure. Is there an available alternate cut to this movie or not? There is. It's seven minutes longer. I just, I was like, no,

I'm good. But I knew everyone is watching the theatrical. I don't want to be like watching something else. Yeah. Because I do, I don't know. I'm curious about cuts. You guys know me and cut.

That quadrology is worth a vibe. Yeah, I like that. It's got all the different, how's the packaging? Is that a cardboard mess? No, it's a nice little thin,

like sleek guy. But that shit's not 4K yet. it's Blu-ray. They have some, like, now they've released them all, some of them, I think, separately on 4K. Okay. And I don't know what the, I think one and two are 4K. Got it.

I think, yeah, I have one on 4K, I think. But yeah, like, I don't know if we'll get those others in 4K. It would be cool and then get those cuts and whatever. Yeah, so we're, oh, this is the, I love this because it's like, oh, you know, because of this emergency or whatever, the autopilot's kicked in. We're going back to home base. What's the home base? Earth. Pretty cool fucking thing

that the movie, as much as I'm saying I did like it a lot this time around and I still do, this conversation has not yet swayed my opinion. The fact that this is going to Earth, I feel like we're not freaking out enough about that. And it speaks to we don't in this world really clearly understand the status of Earth at the time. And all you really get is from Pearlman.

I love this. Earth's fucking disgusting piece of shit planet. I'd rather stay up here. with these things they go to Earth. Essentially you're acting like at the time at least, Earth is Jersey. All New Jersey jokes just put it to Earth because they're like, oh, that shit hole. No, I'm not

going to talk about what happened on there. This guy that caught me off in the space traffic yesterday. Of course he had Earth plates. Have you seen how they drive on Earth? They have to go a roundabout across four fucking lanes to get back to the other lane? That is very annoying in Space, New Jersey, and real New Jersey.

Well, the weird thing is So it's like, oh, my God, we're going to be there in three hours. If we don't talk about anything, you're going to warp core or warp drive. So, like, that leads me to believe that this is very much like the movie Morbius, wherein they're doing secret experiments, like, right off the coast of Long Island on international waters. Like, it's just outer space. Like, Mars is, like, right over there, you know what I mean? They're very close to home.

Yeah, that's right. Pearlman sort of recalls the other movie, and this is a really bad, I don't agree with this. He's basically like, hey, uh, Ripley. Like, they're just walking down the hall, and he's like, oh, Ripley, uh, I heard rumors that you had some previous adventures with similar looking aliens. You want to tell us all about it?

And I'm like, you clunky fucker. I like the, well, it was like, you fought these things before. What happened? I died. Yes. Yeah. But, and this is an interesting thing. It actually has played less than this movie when she has part of these things inside

her. I realize another thing about three that was driving me crazy last night. Like, three is just a direct continuation of two. Yes. Right? So it's like she, yes, has had these two crazy, you know, experiences with xenomorphs, right? But in three, she carries herself like quint from jaws where she's like, she's this expert about them. She's able to hunt and try.

And I'm like, you just dealt with them twice. And I get it and you fought them and you succeeded and whatever. But she's just like this xenomorph expert. I mean, she is the foremost expert as a bright. But the way she talks about as if she is actually scientifically studied these things, much like a Jane Goodall Gorillas in the Mist kind of thing.

And I just don't buy that. Like, yeah, you know a little bit about him, but she's like sniffing the fucking flow. The number two expert got killed with an air conditioner on his head. Michael Bean is no longer with us. Andrew, it's like when she became a art

curator, restorer Ghostbusters 2 versus Ghostbusters. Just on the side. swapped professions and she went from a minor to an alien expert while in cryostate yeah it happens she's now a spaceship cap and a xenomorphic. Well like a demolition man when you can get information while you're in cryos sleep yeah. Also she's a grifter probably you know just trying to make a little money. That's true. We got to talk about it one of the greatest scenes in the movie it's right here the fucking Ripley failed clones hall of horrors. I love a

I've said this way back on the demolition on the judge Dredd episode. I love a failed clone. A clone that cannot survive is my favorite thing in all of science fiction. So you are still a Judge Dread head then. I love those. Armanda Santes. And also the sixth day with Arnold Schwarzen. Sixth day we're like clear skin monstrosity. Those are goopy ones. These are like birthed clones which I want to see the goop on them. Well she walks she takes a left and she walks into the Alamo Draft House bar in Brooklyn. Yes, with all the fucking House of

Horror shit that they have in there. Well, yeah, there's no books about how to be Houdini in 10 days or some fucking shit. Thank God for that. Yeah, but she's just looking at all these things and you can see like they kept getting closer. Like with each one they kept getting closer and she turns that corner

and there is number seven. Kelman! And it's great it's Sigourney had to put her head up through this prop table and then the Jummy was there. It's a big job of the hut kind of It's a job of the hut. It's got Trump's tits.

I mean, it's just this crazy disgusting thing. That I love that they, why are they leaving it alive? Well, it didn't work. Well, I like the idea of Sigourty Weaver

like looking at these as like all the things that like she said no to throughout the years. Like that's me if I took that Woody Allen movie. That's me if I was the second in that Roman Polanski movie. Ah, come I. Here's what I would look like if I forced Dan Akron

to do that third Ghostbusters script in the 90s. That's the one with the alien head. That's a real fuck up. It's just so disgusting this thing. And so I love that like, we're on a spaceship that's already got a whole mix of troubles.

We can't just like kill this thing. It's blow torch time. Oh my God. Well, first of all, wouldn't it be the humane thing is shoot it in the head and then blow torch it? Give it the most painful fucking burn it alive, the most painful death. I was going to say, But seven looks very happy to be pulled towards.

She's like, oh, yes, yes, yeah. That'll do nice. Yeah, please. Oh, God, burn me. Burn me that day. Oh, my God, it's awesome. She just keeps fucking burning all these things. And I love, like, fire on these water tubes.

They all burst. The fucking juices are going everywhere. I read in the trivia that when she was doing it, she had to have somebody come to her house with a flamethrower in the backyard. Oh. Yeah. And she goes, wow, it's really hot. He goes, it's a fucking flamethrower. The flame throwers a gornie? Yeah, okay.

But yeah, she torches this whole place. And Carl just like so disgusted about what she has just seen, punches what's his face right in the, right in the mouth there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. J.U. Freeman, yeah. Yeah, I keep forgetting his character's name. But yeah, he gets socked right

in the face after this. Renn. Wren. Ren. There it is. Yes, thank you. Perlman a fucking great. Oh, I don't get it. it, man, fucking waste of ammo if you ask me. I guess I just do what I always do.

It's a bad weed. Here's a bad weed in line that even said seriously from Perlman is also terrible. He just goes, must be a chick thing. Yeah, man. She fucking saw a bunch of clones of herself and was disgusted and wanted them to be killed. It must be a chick thing. God, I can hear the fucking King of

Queens music in the background. Jesus, H. So here we go, man. We got to talk about him. Purvis himself, Leland Orser, they stumble across hiding. And he's on 11. He might as well have the fucking razor dildo on his crotch. More of him in 7 than him in Bone Collector. It's not the reserved version. It is the wild man. He's off the chase. Yeah, but this is a cool concept to have a guy like from one of these cryotubes who now has been

impregnated question. Yeah. It's inside him. It's inside him. And doesn't know. What's inside me? What's inside me? It doesn't know where he is. are what's going on and you know it's a compelling role it's a cool idea like if you wrote this you could write a cool purvis short story kind of idea right but yeah what's in fucking

side me oh my god it's only Leland Orser could deliver it in the way that he does and have it be funny but also like you get that this dude's freaked out and everyone's talking around him like he's not even a person like I can just do him in the back of the head yes she just comes up

to him and goes there's a monster in your chest, which I just absolutely love. It's going to burst its way through your ribcage speech, you know. These guys hijacked your ship and sold your cryotube to this human, and he put an alien inside of you in a few hours, it'll burst through your rib cage and you're going to die.

Any questions? Who are you? I'm the monster's mother. Another amazing line. It really is good. I really do think that Josh Whedon is just not capable of fully, like, getting at this, because it's a really interesting idea. Her and the Monster

in their connection. I don't think he sells it well at all. I think that is one of the weakest parts of this is like, I do like it when she says, I'm the monster's mother, but we will get to the end. Tonally, that scene makes no sense. Sure.

Him's getting sucked out the thing and her being like, no, like, it's a good idea that he is not capable of fully like building up. Yeah, yeah, but this thing with they're like, oh, I'm, it's mother. Yeah. Do you think for a second he's like,

did I have sex with Siglini? If I can't remember that, I am never going to forgive myself. You know what? I should die. I'm glad I'm going to have a chestburster because I can't remember that shit. It's in me and not her.

How did that work? Who did what to whom? Am I the pregnant man? Is there a tape of this? Any security footage? We get what was the most dangerous sequence in the film to make literally almost killed

two of the actors. This is the we got to swim. They go through the water coolant area. It's like we got to swim under here. It's a really cool scene. It looks really good. I love seeing these aliens underwater. Yes, and they're CGI, but they look really good.

They do. Because it's a smart, you know what it is? They modified a little bit the color of the water. So it's like, it's got this like, greenish. It's a fake, like, green blue kind of thing, which does help with. Sewage water. Yeah, I mean, this guy, who knows what's in this stuff. Because I was going to say the coolant, when they're going through the little,

like Christy has to strap the guy to his back. Like he's fucking Yoda and Luke Skywalker here. Just like the old days, which I'm very interested to hear more about that. I love the old days. These adventures of these guys. We had two guns going back to forth. We didn't talk about it, but I think the most harsh moment is people get fucking their heads ripped off and crunched and all this shit. It's the moment when Dominique Pignon is in his wheelchair and like, shit's going tits up.

He's building his cool shotgun thing. And he's sitting there. And he shoots an alien. And he's like, yeah, got you. And then the fucking, the acid hits his leg first. It's like, that's fine. But then it hits his ear? Oh, dude, that's like no way.

And he's like, yeah! And I'm like, oh, fuck. Management. It does kind of sound like Michael J. Whatever his name is for Twin Peaks and Carnival. But, ooh, wow. Acid on your ear, I'd much rather get a chest burst. Really?

Than having acid on your ear? I mean, obviously one would kill you, one wouldn't, but it just seems so horrible. It's just like, what a, I don't know. It's like, you ever get like a sunburn on your shins or something? bad place for a sunburn. Your ears kind of a bad place for acid to fall on you. I'm not saying it's a good place.

You would remember the pain of that. Whereas when you have a chest burser, you don't got to remember that. You're gone. You're out of here. Fair, I guess I would like to die. Her falling into the vat of molten metal at the end of three as the chest burster comes out and she's like holding

it while she falls into it, man, that's fucking cool. That's a bad effect though too. So yeah, we're going through here. I love, Perlman fucking rocks one of these things with a grenade launcher and it blows up. Very awesome. This is when what's her face, Michael Wincott's lady friend gets it.

Oh, Hillard. Yeah, and this is a weird, did I read this a shot right here? It's like Ripley is looking at it go down and kind of just like lets it happen. It's this weird moment of like, well they should feed a little bit and she's the least

important character right now. Let her let her go. Like, she just kind of watches who xenomorphs, like, rip her apart. A proud mama moment, I think, a little bit. Yes, she does the head twitch. Right? It's like seeing your little boys finally play soccer together. Yeah, they flew out the nest.

She was unnecessary anyway. It's okay. And by the way, Christy, when we get up there, no backstrokes. Hmm. There is, the score does a little jawsy kind of riff right here as it's, like, swimming close to them.

And, I mean, I agree. If Jeanette had been like, we're going to make this thing the hardest thing to tear through in history. You know what? Maybe I die here. Maybe I'm the guy who gets dragged off. I don't want to be ripping through it and almost drown.

This is like in movies when someone falls in the pool and the fucking covers on it. This thing is terrifying. And so we should say so like, yeah, Winona Ryder had like panic attacks making this. Ron Parman literally almost drowned in this scene. Like insane shit. But I love this idea of,

like they have figured out a nice moist area to like make the nest and it's like booby trapped around exit of these things they pop their heads up and there's just this like ring of eggs all around and they're all moving they really throughout these movies have amped up in a good way the effect of what the eggs look like yes where them eggs we're there they are oh here they are indeed i will say in covenant i there's the it's the uh billy crude up death where like he's like all right David you've destroyed him humanity for the last time and I've got

my gun on you he's like well yes would you like to see what's inside this egg he's like well certainly yes he sticks his fucking handsome face right in that egg but yeah there's another cool Christy ricochet right here where he sees he can shoot it off the ceiling and it fucking lights

up all these eggs which is kind of sweet and you get cut to the alien who's very clearly like yeah yeah it's pissed Very pissed off. My babies! My babies!

And this is the, like, surprising no one, like, because it's like, we got to crawl up this ladder. Wren gets up there first, and Call is right after him, and he's trying to, like, elbow an emergency thing open, and he's like, I can't get it. Give me your gun. And she throws it over, and this is the, you're too trusting. And she gets shot right in the chest and the fall back down to the water. Pretty cool here.

And I should fake that this happens. And I'm an android. So, Christy, a big, strong, muscular man, is crawling up with Dominique Pignon on his back. Freeze. Freeze on his back. V-R-I-E-S-I-S, I think. Right, yeah, whatever. He's got him on his back, going up this ladder.

The second I see an alien, it's like, good night, sweet prince. That's the end of that. You know what, man, I gave me the old college try, but, you know, click. That would certainly be better than what happens with Christy and his death. Like, that at least gives some complex. Again, if we're talking about how, like, hard these guys are. That's a hard thing. Like, I like that.

Is this when Perlman does the, he leans back with the two guns? Yep. I like this sequence because I, and this is probably a weed and joke that I did laugh at when he comes back up after shooting the alien, there's a spider in his face. So he shoots the small spider. Yes. Which is exactly something I would do. No, no, actually, I would let them outside.

Oh, yeah, just gently escorts the outside. Hold on. Righteous way, sir. Let me give you. Live your life. I definitely would not shoot it. It is funny. And Perlman sells. it in a nice way too. Yes, yes.

It's a fun little sequence. But yeah, so I think they switch positions to, Christy could shoot, so now Pignon is the one, like, climbing. Yeah. And he's, like, try to shoot, and he does a ricochet, but it doesn't work, and acid gets on his face, which I think is the reason why he's willing

to die. He's like, I'm a handsome man, and now I'm the Phantom of the fucking opera. This effect was not good. No. The scarring after is fine, but, like, when it hits his face, it looks terrible. We animate the melting. Well, that's, like, I see where it's coming from, Steve,

because that's the only reason they give you for what happens after all of this is because, like, I would have loved if the rest of the movie, like, he's the vain one. He's the one who's, like, constantly touching up and, like, checking his hair and stuff like that. Then something like this maybe makes a little bit of sense. Because what happens is he shoots the alien in the head. He gets sprayed in the face, but the alien is now holding onto his boot. And, like, dude, you know, oh, no!

You can't shake your foot. Oh, no. Christy, what do you do? I mean, literally take your fucking shoe off, Chris. Come on, you put the toe on the heel of the one and kick the boot off. Do it. No, I'll never be a model on earth now. I can't do it.

Oh, Chris! He says Christy like 40 times on this ladder. And Christy is releasing himself with the. dead alien on his foot to the pool and to Chris's point like once you get in the pool I'm pretty sure you could shake it off there

and you just held your breath for 30 minutes before like it's dead it's already dead The only thing I could think of is that like Jeanette had had some scene where like there's supposed to be a bunch of aliens waiting for him in the water then I would understand it

but literally like they act like oh this is a big tragic scene I'm like he could have gotten out of it three four five times Here's the easy fix, dude, right? It's like he falls in and then just like the water is like chugging or whatever. And then it just turns red. Yeah, that would be great.

That's easy way to do it. I could see them like maybe there was an effect, you know, a CGI shot of an alien in the water. And it's like we have to cut something to bring the cost down. Sure. People will get it. But they would get it so much more if he just. Anything.

Yeah. Shaked his arms around. Literally anything. Or the water. Oh, no. They're killing me. You just yell that out. Look.

Oh, Chrissy, they're killing you. They're killing you. They're killing you. No one can see it, but me, but there's a bunch of aliens down. You're killing crazy. They're not crazy. I mean, Spielberg did it in 1975 with Nari a computer, dude. So, yeah, it could have been done.

It's sloppy. Speaking of budgetary stuff, a really cool idea that Jeanette had that he couldn't do for budgetary reasons. Was a mosquito was going to get Sigourney Weaver and then explode? because it would try and feed us on acid blood. Oh, that's kind of cost, like, way too much. I kind of want a blood transfusion to be acid now. Yes, dude, that's true. But at the end of this sequence, we're like,

oh, my God, everything's dire, here comes call, who we thought was human the whole time, revealed to be an android. She, like, opens, like, the, they're like, how are we going to open this door? And she opens the door, and they're all, like, gobsmack, like, wait, I saw you die. She got shot in the chest, right?

Yeah, you took it in the chest. I saw it. And this is when, I mean, Sigourney Weaver fingers this hole for about three and a half minutes. It's hot. It's great. The hole is coming. It's full of cum. It's got all the white. Because that's how in this franchise robots

are powered by cum. Yeah, Lance Hynerickson clearly is in a puddle of cum. Yeah. When they're just hooking up the head. That part in that movie when he's like spit out. He's like rid out. That's another please kill me because he's like, hey, Ripley, I gave you all the information you need. Can you please

deactivate me she's like yeah you got it so they need that the human excrement of the ejaculate is what they use to power these things you know excrement and ejaculate it should have been things not to me you got some wires crossed biologically in there buddy you might want to go to the doctor it's not brown oh ew come all right all right yeah i said that first and then i course corrected to ejaculate but i did them in a row sure ejaculate so all the scientists have to like tap their tanks constantly in order to make these Androids. That makes sense because, I mean,

Duraf is definitely dumping loads daily while looking after these xenomorphs. It's like kissing the fucking plate and then like, oh yes. There's a jar in the corner of the room that's like the Android fund. And you'd have to fill it and then you can make an Android once you fill it.

The xenomorphs are in their cage and he's in his cage. Got some more Android juice for you. Exactly. It's awful. Here you go, General Perez. Jesus. Well, he is like, what should we call it, that dude and X watching Mia Gauth for a second there, you know, when he's watching those xenomorphs.

That's true. Yeah, so now the whole thing is like, okay, call, we want you to, because there's like a computer error or something, we need you to hack into the system because now we know you a robot. Jam that fucking computer needle in your arm here. She says something because, like, yeah, Raymond Cruz, who's in this movie, doesn't have a lot to do, but here you guys. This is big info dump about... DeStefano, by the way. We love to say de-stefano. And he just info dumps about second generation Android.

The rebellious are deactivated, yada, yada, yada. And then she's like, yeah, I can't... So you can hack it into the thing. She's like, I can't. I burned my modem, which is such a dumb life. That is hilarious. Because that's, in the 90s, you're like, well, you know, these computers communicate via modems to everything else.

Everything was a modem. So that's like saying, I don't have Wi-Fi anymore. She was dial-up before. This is just how we understood technology at the time, right? Everything was dial-up. Excuse me, Ripley. Is someone on the phone? Is someone on the phone right now?

Is there an extra line on the Betty? Is there another phone line we can get to there? DeStefano is like, oh shit, you're the 56-killed bond fucking robot. Oh, my God! But see, yeah, so she, it's weird things she got like a, it looks like a birthmark, but she peels it out. And again, it's a weird, like, cummy trail thing. It's really gross.

Yep, it's disgusting. And then she, like, jacks it into her into the thing. And, like, we had father for a while, and now she's, like, doing the voice of the computer. Yes, yeah, father, the voice of the computer mother from the first movie, that's kind of a nice thing. Yeah, so she says, she finds out that, like, uh-oh, there's not enough energy left on the ship to do a self-destruct thing. So we have to crash it into Earth is the idea. And for some reason, once you, this is very dumb. and they should have thought around

Josh Whedon's bad idea here if you activate this thing that they want to do all of a sudden they lose like an hour and a half because it's like they have all this time and even Proman says like what's the rush we got 90 minutes

and like because Winona does something now all of a sudden they're going to crash in 45 minutes you gotta figure out something that makes a little more sense yeah quick question idea if Romulus comes out next one that's kind of why we're doing this, the new alien movie. You know, so we had father,

we had mother in the first movie, father in this one. Maybe Dan Whitney comes out of retirement. He's uncle in the... I would love to get him back in the party, but I think it should go, a step sister. Be more popular, I think.

Some sexy ladies today. That's a very popular thing on the internet. Stepsister, can you turn down the air conditioning in here, please? Yeah, no problem. You want me to do anything else for you? No, step-sister, that's fine, thank you. Have a wonderful day.

I'll be in the dryer. I'll be getting stuck in the dryer. Oh, my God. But yeah, so the movie's kind of rampant up here. Is this when Ripley falls through the hole and meets all of her brethren? Well, first, she, uh, call makes this a Wren can't escape. Oh, that's right.

She shuts and sounds like that. That's right. Yeah, it's like father's dead asshole. Oh, right, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which that's, you know, that's a good little line there. Good. And I do think, I think around here is when she gets pulled down.

This is like an interesting time for Winona. This is basically right before the stupid shoplifting nonsense. That for no reason derailed that woman's career. What a stupid. This society's so fucking stupid. But I actually think, I don't know, like, I feel like here she's in this weird, like, am I still playing young kids or am an adult yet? Not young kids, but, you know, like, early.

20s, whatever. Well, because she was one of those actors, kind of like a Jennifer Lauren situation where it's like she was like 30 whatever, but still looked like she could play an 18 year old. Exactly. So she was in this weird nether zone and she goes back as the mother and Stranger Things and it makes a ton of sense. You know what I mean? And like now she's getting all these

matronly other roles, but... The funny thing about the shoplifting thing is that like, you know for a fact if she had actually killed someone, they'd be fine. Like there would be nothing. Ferris Bueller had a fucking day off didn't they? Yeah, he was fine. That's the thing. I think they thought it was too low, like, low rent. I think they're like, ew, that's, that's poor behavior. That's not rich. We kill fuckers. That's what we do. Or we rob like 50 million from like some shitty stock. It's either got to be Bernie made up. You fucking run somebody off the road in Ireland. Or I guess, yeah, you dared rob. I think that's what, no, I think this is why, right? Because it was like, like, high end like Beverly Hills boutiques. And it was like, you fucking struck against one of your own holly.

with elite shun you, shun you must support the Beverly Hills boutiques. That was the president of Paramount's second niece who runs that store. Do you know what you've done? You don't know who you're fucking with. I thought it made her cooler. Absolutely.

She's smoking cigarettes and stealing things from stores. She's just like me. She deserves it. Let her do whatever she wants. Get out of her way. Well, that's, I mean, the strange things was the comeback. But man, she is great in those like three scenes you get with her in Black Swan.

on. Oh, right. Oh, yes. Also. Yeah, and she was also with the Mr. Deeds. I was going to say Star Trek 2009. Oh, right. Yes, yes. She's in Mr. Deeds. She is in Mr. Deeds. She's like, oh no, Mr. Deeds, what's going on? That's another movie where I was like, I mean, this is like 2002

or something, but I was like, how old are you playing this character? It was still happening then. Yes, exactly. It's just kind of weird. I think it was originally, the original's Mr. Deed goes to town or something, and this is since it's Sandler, it's like, Mr. your deeds wear sweatpants. That's the movie where he he gets, somebody gets

a frostbite on a foot. He does. It's Turtur. Oh yeah, he gets it and he shows Totoro. Terturo's like hitting it with a carobar or something. The only thing I remember about that movie is Steve Bussami with the crossed eyes. That's all. Oh, that's from that movie. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we're wrapping up. Ripley does fall in a hole full of aliens. And they're like,

and, you know, Call now likes Ripley, because she does this time. It's like, no, we have to save Ripley. like, no time, we gotta go. Yeah, she, Ripley does this weird, like, they're all running away, and she stops, and she, like, puts her fucking head to the floor, and she's like, it's the queen, she's in pain, and, like, goes through the hole or whatever, and then, yeah, Perlman is like, uh, yeah, we can't care about this anymore, we gotta go, sweetheart, let with Rod Perlman, like, let that alien be with them aliens, that's cool.

And it's interesting because the movie kind of, like, takes a break here, because they're running off, but it just, it's, I think it might even also be, like, a fade, to black and then it opens up. Yes. And she's getting pulled into the nest. It's really cool. They do a lot of fades in and out, especially when she goes into the mound of alien flesh and sucked up.

And then she's like, the top of the nest and she gets pulled in. And then she's like, like I guess she's with a baby a little bit. Yeah. The queen's got her head. It's very like creature from the black lagoon kind of, the swamp thing movie kind of feel to it.

Are we sure it's the queen? No, it's someone bringing her to. Yeah. It's one of her steps on aliens. Rocking her back and forth. Oh, no, I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this alien eye. It means it's okay.

The stepson, you can have it. Yeah. And then you wake up and it's Brad Duroff being like, She is awakened! Oh, yeah. Earlier on, I'm like, why'd they get Brad Dura for this? And they're given so much to J.E. Freeman. It's like, no, no, the weird shit's coming.

We know what Brad is good at. And trust me, sweetheart. it's going to be weird. The only thing that happens before Durif wakes up, we got to talk about it because we referenced it briefly it is the best death in the movie

this is where Wren gets it. Oh yeah. He gets on the ship. Yeah, they're at this Oh, are they in the ship? It basically goes from like she's getting cradled by the alien cuts to black

and it's like, what's going on on the Betty? This is what's how we do have this quick scene on the Betty. Ren getting shot through it's Purvis's fucking chest. He lets the chestburster

go through Wren's head, right? After Leelan beats the fucking shit out of him, like, for a bit, and then he just holds his head up against his chest. Because Wren is like, ha, ha, I've got the gun now, and no one's going anywhere without me, and he's got his mustache, he's twirling, and he's like, you know,

he's like, DeStefano, take that guns. Like, fuck you, sir. Oh, that's right. That happens. And then, like, all hopes he was lost. I think he actually shoots Lelandorcer to drop him to the floor, and then he just starts having an alien freak out, I love him running towards him

Red keeps shooting him and it's just like he's like an ape person Yes it's none of these bullets are affecting him like in this moment It's really strange But he just grabs him Fucking puts his head up

The back of his head up to his chest And just plch right through Fucking awesome He's done And then they all kill that alien Right they shoot it They shoot the shit out of it Yeah

So I was like where's that alien? All right that's dead And now yeah like Brad Durf It is creepy model she has a uterus like a normal woman like you she has birth pains this is an alien C-section really it's just gonna rip through

she's giving birth for you Ripley and now she is perfect now here's what I understand though the queen as Ripley states at the end of the third movie like the reason she's got to fucking definitely kill herself because the queen is inside her the queen can lay where told thousands of eggs.

So the, like, upgrade that these people are doing with the hybrid or whatever, now it gives birth like a mammal one at a time. Listen, if you're trying to raise this army, you dumb motherfucker, stick to the eggs. But I guess you could do both because she did do the eggs. Yeah, the eggs are there.

Those are her eggs. Are they? The 12 were from, yes. I don't know where else they would be from. They don't explain it any other way. I guess it's the only queen, right? But why have this other thing? That's a great question. So it does both? Well, because it's, I mean, I think it's more of, like, they want to do it thematically. Because, like, what did, you know, Sigourney has, eight has all of these weird alien things.

What does she give the queen? And this is the one thing is that it can birth, like, a weird. A mammal. Yeah, man, man, xenomorph. That is, I mean, I will give this if they explore, again, if they explore this part of it more, it's more docile. Yeah. So they can, like, mold it better. Wait a second, though.

Hang on a second. No, we're getting things mixed up because. those 12 xenomorphs aren't from that queen those 12 xenomorphs are from the people that were kidnapped the queen is from her chest from the no no the people are yes but no the queen laid those eggs where else to the eggs have come from I guess so but I swear to God

Durav had some line about like no more eggs oh yeah I think someone says something about no more eggs maybe there's a mutation after she says it doesn't matter it's gross either way I love this little baby alien man He is so cool. He's so adorable. He's got a cute little face.

And they go full prosthetic with a full animatronic. And it's so smart because it's a dude wearing a mask, so he's got really expressive eyeballs. Sure does. And that big snout is amazing. And the human tongue. He's tongue in Ripley. And Brad Durf's like, he thinks you're his mother.

But actually, she's the grandmother. Yeah. That'd be great if at the last line of the movie, he's like, I was that alien's grandmother. And she, like, lights a cigarette. you are a beautiful beautiful butterfly he's fucking yelling at this monster and then the monster goes oh yeah you could feed

you could do it and he just crotches his head like a grape well no before this though it's it's fucking awesome oh that's right oh yeah or say hi to your mother or whatever and this fucking baby kills the queen just slices its fucking head off yeah it's just like a human child right it's it's the circle of life there baby the baby's just having this loyalty to Ripley, like in that moment

and just cuts the kills this queen. Durroff's fucking screaming about it. Menendez Morf. Grandma gives me candy. You give me nothing. That's right. Face. Oh my God. But yes, so the baby comes up

and Brad Durr's like, oh, beautiful, beautiful baby. And it just eats his head. Yes. It's great. Like a fucking Reese's peanut butter cup. It's delicious. Like maybe five minutes after it's cooing with Sigourney Weaver. Yeah, okay, man. all right jass he's going for it uh and the uh this gives her a chance to escape yep and you know

the ship's about you know it's your classic the ship's about to take off she's going to do she does a good super jump right here cool super jump i thought you were dead i get that a lot yeah that's fun uh so like we're trying to take off but uh oh something's going wrong and of course our uh our alien buddy apparently they wanted to uh animate the human alien chasing her but that it just didn't work out oh like seeing it run but like with computers I don't know about that. Listen, the running didn't work for three, so I'm glad you learned Joe. Exactly.

It looks great the way it does. It's all animatronic. And yeah, so, like, it's in the cargo bay now. And first, DeStefano's like, something's wrong in there. Oh, no. Yeah, because, like, we can't close the hatch. Like, what's going on with this hatch? Dude, DeStefano, just getting his head popped by this thing, like a grape.

Oh. It's lovely. And then, Carl is now in trouble. She's with DeStefano. She watches it. And it's trying to get at her. Ripley realizes something's wrong so she goes back

I do like the baby alien fingers her robot hole also and it's like oh it's just a robot in there and has no interest in her it's a very cool detail and you know and now Ripley is got to you know she's trying

like she's trying to like you know trick this alien into dying and she puts her hand in its mouth to cut it on the tooth and flick some blood at the window so good it's funny baller as hell, man. It's so

fucking cool. And that eats a hole in the window and now the most horrific death of anything that ever happened. Oh my God. And seeing this in the theater as a kid blew my fucking mind. I can't even imagine. Incredible. And seeing this poor little baby's eyes like, dude, the expressive

eyes, it really adds a layer to it, does it not. You know what I mean? It's like, it's a freak. Because for a second, you're like, is that a puppy? Yes. For a quick second. Oh, no, it's a horrible monster. Apparently, it had both genitals on the puppet. And then, like, Fox was like, absolutely not.

And they digitally removed them. But we're not. Come on now, please. Jeannet had a really good quote, though. Like, after seeing it, he was like, even for a Frenchman, I thought it was a little too messed up. But it was beautiful. I love it.

I mean, you just give it a little dick, you know? And you could get away with that, maybe. Maybe it was too big. Is that what you're saying, Steve? Steve was on his phone I assume looking at dick pics At always No no no I was gonna talk about

Genet quotes Because like Whedon has always talked shit about this movie And Jenae never like really responded about it Right Because he was like Whedon's thing is like It's just made so poorly

A piece of shit movie Blah bra bra blah Yeah So then in October 22 filmmaker Jean-Pier Jeney responded The long running feud with him And co-writer

Josh Whedin about this film Weidn previously criticized the movie saying, they did everything wrong that they could possibly do. It wasn't so much that they changed the script. It's that they executed a ghastly fashion as to render it almost unwatchable. No, disagree, stupid dickhead anyway. Jeann, not only blasted Whedon, but also the current genre of superhero films by saying, he's very good at making films for American geeks, something for morons.

Because he's good at making Marvel films. I hate this kind of movie. It's so silly, so stupid. Oh, man. Cooked his ass. He has a certain Genesequois, and I fucking love it. It's amazing. But yeah, so this thing, it's just getting sprayed out.

And then you see, it's so great because, like, it takes a couple of tries to finally rip out. Because it's trying to, like, push itself forward to, like, get with mama. Because it does kind of, like, get its fucking ass back into the thing. And then it's like, nope, suck back out of the world. Whoops, slip. And it is just everything. Oh, I see you're having a little trouble with the porthole there. Look, I defend

step-sister porn, but this is disgusting. Even for a Frenchman, this was... The stuck porn is, I mean, this is taking it too far. And all gets sprayed out, and then even the boat, which is kind of cool because it has human bones. Yes, dude, it's just everything must go and just chunks out into space. Which I also, I'm guessing that it doesn't have acid blood

because that would probably rip more of the whole... Then the whole ship would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More, coming apart more than it already is in this. re-entry sequence or whatever here. This gets a little sloppy and confusing in a way. Like, okay, so the main ship, the Orega or whatever, Aruga.

Crashes into Earth. Yes. Presumably destroying several towns. Oh, easily. Well, because that's, there's some, Sigourney's got some line about, like, try to angle it toward the bay, but I was like, did she mean something about the cargo bay

or like a bay, like water? Well, yeah, the original ship is not crashing, right? It does. No, you see it explode. That's what's confusing about it. It's exploding, but it's not crashing. It's because doesn't the alien look up and there's some, they put some explosive thing in it? I don't think so. It's confusing.

I don't know. Because it'd be really weird to do this and not show any crash. You just see like the clouds push by. It's weird. There's a shot of like Earth and the ship goes towards it. And it sort of just looks like right when it hits the atmosphere almost. That's what I suppose. That makes sense.

They're on the Betty now, right? So the original ship is blown up on Earth. Yes, exactly. what I'm now reading it. It breathes past them. I think, okay, I must, maybe I briefly missed that shot. I think they should have done a little more of the space shots here to show what was happening.

Could totally clarify that. Because the spatial relations, no pun intended, you know, trying to figure out where stuff is, because the Betty is, it's literally like right behind it. So there's an erotic thriller in space called spatial relations, right? I do, uh, Michael Douglas is an astronaut on the moon base Mars.

Who am I fucking admire? You want to get space fucked? Oh no, I'm a werewolf. He's a businessman from the moon going to Mars. He's got an 8 a.m. meeting. He's got to get to. And then he meets a green lady.

There we go. I never had me one of those. I mean, like what I would have liked here is like, I was just watching Independence Day. Like when they exit the ship and it's like yeah, you have to deal with the atmosphere, but there's also this huge explosion about to eat your whole fucking ass.

So maybe that's another issue. I do like someone yells out I think it's Breeze yells out What's burning? Pearlman goes Us. Yes. Because the ship is basically like kind of breaking up like on reentry or whatever

But very cool like it took over 200 years Ellen Ripley returns home in some fashion You know they get to earth And here's the thing She's obviously got nobody Ripley's family if she ever had one You know back long dead You know, long dead, obviously.

This row, but they're moving in together. Oh, for sure. They're making it work. They both, like, they're at least roommates. For sure. Yeah. Well, the last line is like, you know, Winona is like, you know,

how am I supposed to survive on earth? And Ripley's like, well, I'm a stranger here myself. Yes, exactly. And then the sitcom starts, the theme music. Everywhere you look, there's a xenomar. Somebody who eats you. Ripley, did you use my toothbrush? you melted it again with your mouth juices.

I think you're getting one of those like Brooklyn apartments with like nine dormitory rooms. That's like $200 rent and each one of Pearlman's there. Nice. Don't worry. If the catch is on fire, you won't feel a thing. You'll be dead instantly. Don't worry. Real match factory.

Absolutely. Life comes and goes. But that's the end of the movie, man. And I have to say one of the funnier credits of recent memory, you don't get these much these days anymore. Because they can advertise them in other ways. With the end of this credit scroll, one of the last big things, be sure to try out Alien Resurrection, the video game. No, really?

Yeah, oh, right there. On PlayStation Uno, by the way. It must have been, yeah, totally. But that is the end of the film here, and she has yet to go back to Ripley, which I think is completely fine and wouldn't make any more sense. As we've said, we dig on the stuff that has been made in the post Ellen Ripley years of this franchise.

We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts, Eric Siska. Yeah, I've always had a soft spot for it from that theatrical experience. I do wish stuff was a little more clarified, a little more put together some of the relations with the crews. I mean, it's by no means perfect. But I always have a good time when I check it out. And just that little baby alien man, I want to kiss him. I want them in my house. Sure.

I want to walk him around like a dog. That's, I mean, that's a little pushing it. I mean, he's got a huge dick. You don't want to start it, isn't it? I want to drag that dick all over town with me. Steve say that. Isolate that, please. I want to drag that dick all over town with me.

I've always been a fan of this movie. I don't love, love it. Again, you know, from the back half of my alien rankings, it's just above three because I do find it fun. It's just fun enough. You know what I mean? Like, is it super respectful to the alien? mythos probably not you know what I mean like yeah but at least it's got a cool ending and like I think

it's got a lot of fun kills it's a good hour 45 that you'll have with a movie so it's a recommend for me even though it's a lesser alien adventure we'll save Chris for last because it is his favorite franchise I'll just say I want to drag that dick all over town with me uh yeah complete 180 uh I I don't I just must have had some fucking sand in my ass that day when I rented it I You know, I don't recall what was going on at the time in maybe 1998 when I rented this, but it did not play for me at all. I despised it, and I have despised it for most of my adult life because I never rewatched it. Here we are.

You know, I was happy to be wrong. Do I think it's as great as the first two? No. I am in the camp of it's better than three, having just rewatch it, although assembly cut has not been seen by my eyes yet. But, no, this was a lot of fun. I think Jeunay is a really interesting director. I love all the special effects all the practical puppet stuff

it's awesome and that little guy he's our little guy I love him eight foot little white guy gooping and glopin and whatever it's great he's beautiful yeah so this is actually

you know it's a full-throated recommend if you've avoided this movie for whatever reason sequel phobia or whatever I'd say check it out Christopher Cap I like a light recommend I mean it's enjoyable because I do like this movie and I just like the idea

of the xenomorphs and like us trying to tame them and turn them into a product. Like, that's an interesting idea to me that I've always enjoyed where this lands each time with that stuff. I think we're all dancing. I mean, like, the problem with smoothies

fucking Joss Whedon. Of course, it's this fucking problem. Like, it's just, yeah, maybe if, like, you had gotten, I don't know, Tim Burton to do the fourth alien resurrect, maybe that the look of it matches the tone of the script then maybe a little bit more. Yeah.

But still, I don't think this would work. I don't like this, like, again, if I'm going to have this goofy, repartee with these guys, you got to build up the characters more, and I have to understand them more. And, like, it doesn't work the other way. It just annoys me then. So, like, I like the general

overriding idea of them starting production on the xenomorphs and trying to see what they can do with them. That's interesting. They don't really do much with it. Ultimately, it's mostly to push the pirates along on their journey, which to me is a little boring. But whatever. It's an alien movie. I liked it.

I like Jean-Pierre-Junet. I like him. quite a bit. I even like that very long engagement. I think that's a pretty good movie. I only saw it the one time. Didn't thrill me. He was the one after Amelie. But yeah, and of course, I love him cooking,

Weed and, of course, how could you do that? That makes me like it more. That's such a great quote. Realized, by the way, this whole training, the xenomorphs for combat or, you know, urban pacification, as they say in this movie, similar shit that they wind up doing those awful Jurassic World sequels. Yeah, it's never a fucking good idea.

It's a monster! That's exactly right. Real or alien otherwise. Not a good idea to use monsters as weapons. That's going to do it for this episode of We Hey Movies. If you want more great stellar shows from us, head over to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Hey Movies, where you could have listened to this entire episode commercial free. That's right, ad free on the Patreon of all these fine We Hey Movies episodes. We Love Movies this month was a great banger on Logan, the James Mangold movie.

Fantastic Motion Picture, Fantastic Discussion There. What were we rocking on the Gleap Glossary? I want to drag that dick all over town with me. We are doing Conehead Guy. Hi Eddie Mundi, the Jedi you know and love from the Clone Wars cartoon, episode two, the attack of the clones. And of course, the dreaded acolyte for some reason. Everyone got their... It changes birth certificate.

Yes, yes, yes. We will talk about it in depth on the show. but there was a CD-ROM that had this Conehead's birth date, and it now conflicts with the Acolyte, so people are very upset. Oh, how many fucking suicides happened over that? I think we've lost hundreds. But we will also recap the back half of the Akelyte. We did a little bit on...

Yeah, we did the first two apps. So we'll just, not like, episode by episode, just a general discussion of what we all thought of it. Yes, yes. So animation damnation this month ties into all of our Deadpool Pool and Wolverine fun. That's right. We're doing Ultimate Deadpool,

which is from the Ultimate Spider-Man TV show from a couple years back. It's really irritating. No one had a good time. Not even your friendly comic book expert. It was a miserable time. It's 2013 cartoon predates the Ryan Reynolds experience we're getting now.

And it is obnoxious. Hear us talk about it, which is not obnoxious. Speaking of talking about Deadpool and Wolverine, we will talk about Deadpool and Wolverine on on-screen live, which is our Monday. That's right. kind of fun box office recap show with other stuff. Also, if you want more

We Hate Movies, in two days' time, we'll be doing Speed, a live virtual experience on the Blockbuster Speed. It's a virtual live show. It's amazing. We'll be doing an after-party as well. All those tickets are available on w-hmpodcast.com. And yeah, that's, to specify,

two days from now, if you are listening to this on the day it drops. Certainly. Tuesday, July 16th. Yes. So Thursday, July 18th, live, we're talking speed. It's going to be awesome. go to the website for the tickets and if you can't make it, 14-day replay after the fact. We should also say

24. If you're listening to this in Ripley times. Oh, yeah. We're all long dead. Yeah. Yes. And by xenomorphs. Please clone me and so I can have a baby alien baby. I'm going to be in cryostasis. It's just floating out somewhere. I tried to steal a Mariah Carey CD and the xenomorph took me out right at the

Hildreker. Right at the beeper. Mariah Carey the 14th. Great talent. It's beep, be, beep, beep. Dude, you have fucking xenomorph mall cop. Oh, that's amazing. You got a little mustache for sure. He loves Orange Julius. Unlucky in love.

But as season 14 of We Hate Movie starts to wind down, we do have a few more weeks of new shows for you here in July, including next Tuesday, where both on the free feed with commercials and ad free on Patreon, we're talking what? Oh, my God, it's X-Men from 2000. We couldn't do this alone. to bring in our good, good friend

New York Times columnist Jamel Bowie. That's right. Jamel Big X-Men Head just like us. Made for a Primo conversation. A lot of fun there. Very fun revisiting that movie, I have to say. So tune in for that next week. But until then, I've been Andrew Jupon. Stephen Say that. Eric, Cisco. Chris

Cabin. Take it easy. I want to drag that dick all over town with me.