We Hate Movies - S14: On-Screen Live 12.4.23 The Holdovers, Godzilla Minus One, Netflix Christmas Disasters & More!

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

On this week's show, the guys are chatting about the new monster smash, Godzilla Minus One; the new Alexander Payne/Paul Giamatti jam, The Holdovers; John Woo's (just okay) Hollywood return with Silent Night; a couple of disastrous Netflix Christmas movies including the abhorrent Best. Christmas. Ever!; the in-depth Star Wars Holiday Special documentary, A Disturbance in the Force; and more! DON’T MISS  OUT! Get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause TOMORROW NIGHT!! 12/7 at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!  

Hey, Santa Claus, Santa Claus. Hey, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus. Hey, gang, another quick reminder here, now that the digital shows out of the way and that stuff, last chance to see us in the flesh this year. That's right, in the flesh. Yes, and we are chewing. Friday the 13th. No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? What? No, it's going to be the holidays time, Chris. We're doing the Sandy Clause.

A new one. Santa Claus, the Tim Allen movie where he gets a little fleshy. On a day that will live in infamy, December 7th at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City, New Jersey. That is right. Tickets are flying and you're going to want to get them immediately. That's right. You can get them going right to our website, WHMpodcast.com. A little pop-up box is going to point you where to go. If you miss that and go to the tour page, info is there too. I would like to posit that this is David Cronenberg's favorite Christmas movie. Probably.

Oh, yeah. There's body horror. There's just I think more of the scares are in the second one when you get the seeming, the gleaming version of it. That's disgusting. But like, yes, you are correct. And of course, he is a closet Tim Allen fan. We all know this. I wish Tim Allen's head exploded like in scanners. That would be great. That would be wonderful. That might

be how he goes out. You don't know. A rupt slam explode. That's right, gang. A lot of Tim Allen joshing, a lot of the Santa Claus joshing, a lot of praise for Judge Reinhold in this movie. Oh, absolutely. Because you better believe he is cuckin Tim Allen in this. Oh, yeah. It's beautiful.

December 7th, White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey, Tri-State area. We want to see you out for the final live show of 2023. Tickets available at WHMpodcast.com. My baby back to me Hey, hey, Santa Claus. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to on screen live for this Monday. Holy crap, December the 4th.

Wow, my name is Andrew Jupin, and I'm so glad you're joining us today. Let's see, Matt Harnie in the chat. Hello, Harry Baker, Eric Perez, designiana. I probably butchered that. Andrew Stockwell, Eddie Fails, son, Halahoochee. Love all the repeat offenders in the chat, man. I have to say, got to love that.

Also got to love getting to some birthdays today, of course, the dude himself, Jeff Bridges. Our hero turns 74. One of the baddest motherfuckers around Tony Todd, turns 69 today. We got, oh, hello, Marissa Tomey. Aunt May herself turns 59. Comedian and musician Fred Armisen, 57 years old.

And of course, hip-hop superstar and all-around billionaire Jay-Z himself turns 54 years old today. I hope you all are having a good Monday. Hope you had a good weekend. I'm going to bring in some buds here. Hope they had a good weekend, too. First up, we will be playing his hometown in just a few short days in Jersey City, New Jersey, Mr. Steven Sadek.

That's right. I can't wait to see all of you. and I'm going to expect to see all of you there in Jersey City. Quick question. If Tony Todd just turned 69, Andrew, at what age do you think you could physically beat Tony Todd in a fight?

Because I know it's not 69. I know, I know today he would still clean the clock, clean me out. Oh, let's check in with Tony Todd around the Todd centennial. You know what I mean? Yeah.

He's going to be fucking kicking ass and taking names all the way to the grave. Yeah. If he's got a respirator, I got a chance. I think it's the same. he would have to be honestly for me to be Tony Todd in a fight he'd have to be in an iron lung I'm like I've got you now Tony Todd

up next it's Eric Siska hey December the 4th be with you everyone yeah just let's keep making up fake Star Wars holidays we need more of them let's say it's life day today sure that's a good one that's a good one that's a fucking religion pal sorry sorry every December 4th though is Life Day. I like that. Look, if people can go outside and play like real quidditch in the park,

we can real deal celebrate Life Day. Yeah, I agree. I think we need, I think people need to dig into this Life Day thing and make it a whole even more embarrassing thing. Speaking of someone who gets more embarrassing, and he's a bit of a thing himself, Chris Cabin. On that table, we had roast beef, scalloped potatoes. Of course, it was at this same. dinner that John Frankenheimer took a wine bottle, broke it, and held it to my neck. He said that if you don't give

better reactions to seconds, I am going to kick you square in the nuts. You better like it as much as the train, or I will take your head from your body. Oh, talking about seconds the movie. I thought seconds the food there. No, no, no, of course

the great movie seconds by John Frankenheimer. Thank you, Chris. I see why everyone loves the criticism of Andrew Sarah now that I've heard it out loud brilliant writer one day I think we're going to wait and just not

interrupt Chris and just see how long that can go and just like maybe you accidentally like recite the world's greatest novel you know what I mean it just sort of happens you go for a full hour don't test me I will frank obliterate my fucking throat

and yes if you need to Andrew Sarah I'm like a apology Sarah yeah Sarah It's a terrorist. It'll be embarrassed, Paul,

been left there, it'll be like when, oh, Andy Kaufman there, uh, did a similar thing. What's the thing he doesn't man on the moon?

Oh, he reads all of the great Gatsby, like as a bit. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, me and him of equal genius. Oh,

as everyone knows. Known to fight women. Oh, every day, every which way. As long as it's in the ring. I'm not, you know,

I'm not playing crazy here. It's got to be sanctioned. You know, and the weird thing is R.E.M. only wrote one song about Chris Cabin and two about Andy Kaufman. So, Chris has to just one more to go. Hey, Star 69's a great song.

I feel very proud. I feel very proud. Oh, man, you know what? I'm pretty proud of this weekend box office, I have to say. Let's take a look at the weekend numbers in a segment we like to call highest gross. I'm excited because Godzilla charted

in the top of five, which we'll get to in a sec. First up, at five, though, another massive $200 million failure from Disney. Wish coming in at five with a paltry, $7.5 million, a 62% drop from its opening weekend, reaching, closing in on Quantum Mania ask no one's there even the people who like go to bat for disney regularly are saying this one sucks yep like are really like this do not waste your fucking time this is a fucking this is terrible because i

i don't know if anybody talked about like what they reveal i there's something there's a big reveal of a universe at the end of this movie yes we we spoke on that last week yes yeah yeah and this is now but it's it's it's two d right is this two d animation it's three d animation but is it It's not like 3D with glasses. It looks like a Pixar movie. The poster didn't look like Pixar-esque, and that's usually what all animated stuff is these days. Yeah, it's still that, yeah. Yeah, no, it's the classic Disney, like, character design template, but it's done with computers.

And they're using magic on people? Yes. A poster with that guy going. Yeah, that's exactly. That didn't sell the movie, apparently. Look at that. Look at that. You would think this looks a lot like.

the phantasm poster we think something like this but no if you're actively looking to keep people away from the fucking theater remind them of phantasm okay I was reading a cult movie I don't know this might be a tipping point because I was reading this warning that Ike Perlmutter

is coming in trying to try to take back Disney oh he's trying to like succession it like with like he's got some fucking billionaire investor coming in and blah blah blah and like because shareholders might not be so happy about how everything's been going this year.

Do you see? Do you see what happens when you stop hating others? Exactly. Do you see what happens? I mean, that would make Disney infinitely worse because that guy is a piece of shit scumbag. You know what? Then I'm for it. Let's go, Ike. Let's go back with Ike. I like Mike. I do not.

Steve almost fought that guy in an elevator. I know. I was told not to ride the elevator with him. Oh, that's the story. That's the same thing with me. Don't you dare get on that elevator with me. I am imagining Steve as the

Captain America with Ike and all of his bodyguards around him saying like, you've got enough guys, do you? Exactly. Anybody wants to get out. They just like unfroze Bob Eiger out of carbonite, right? Yeah, man, he's back.

We'll see what happens. I mean, we'll have to wait. see, dude. Sticking in at number four. Trolls band together. There they go. Still singing and dancing all the way to number four. There's 7.6 million in week

three. Hey, good for those things, man. That's like, that's like the limit. That's like, for me, like, I will watch animated things, of course. But like, when it's shit that I'm like, that's just like music that my ears would not want to hear. And it's like five and

under kind of movie. Nah. I mean, these are niece and nephew movies at most. I would say don't even see them under those circumstances. Chelsea and I almost made the sacrifice at Thanksgiving, but they were tired and it didn't work out. This is one of those movies. You bring the little kids to wipe their boogers on everything. Sure.

Yeah, yeah. That's what they do. And then in the evening shows, they put a, they put a movie for adults in there and there's boogers all over the seats. Yeah, but some adults like that, which is disturbing. That's true. I pay extra for the boogers Yeah, yeah

You up charge me on the boogers seats Oh, oh Still warm Oh no no They couldn't have gone far You know you really pay for it With the 4DX experience You really get the one

Oh the X I saw a dude No shit I was getting on the L at 14th Street A couple weeks ago No this was just last week There was a dude I'm like walking towards

him, he's coming right at me. He looks at me and the finger is going in the nose and like he notices that I see him and like the eye contact is made and he I think realized like we're past the point of no return here and just was like this is what we're

doing today. And this this dude looked me dead in the eye as he stuck his finger in his nose in the subway station. Power move right here. What is tried. You know what? Once outside of outside of

Grand Central ones there was this you know a big old schlubby guy wasn't me wasn't a mirror and he was sneezing so aggressively

like this flam I believe what happens this is one in a million this is the Death Star destruction no no time oh no it flew directly into my eye

what and it was like this 60 heavy set guy looks like garbage looks diseased frankly you're Brendan Gleason in 28 days later I'm like trying to flush my eye out with a bottle of water

oh dude I would I would have run right out into traffic dude but the first bus take me off this earth the white blood cells inside that body inside that dude's body's like no that we used to shoot womprats that wide at home that Eric's diameter of a pupil we can hit that

yeah oh my god You're screaming and pushing your wife away from you. Get away. And that's the thing's what can you do. What you do? You can't do anything. You can't do anything.

You got to just keep moving. It's like I just spit on you or even worse then. Dude, Eric, though, I thought you were going to say went in your mouth, man. Yeah, that's actually better. Eyeballs better. Is it better? I think so. This is our, listen.

It might be going down if it goes in the mouth. It might be going in for good. Wet and goopy. You know, it's like a little kiss with him. versus like just like mucus in my I don't know that's why I wear these guys try it asshole go ahead

that's a good point I think I'm going to get myself a pair yeah Steve Steve Sadek 20-20 vision by the way just like a booger shield on his face at all time strictly protective up there this is why I really do hope people join me I want to get eyewash stations back and subway stations I agree

it's required I think yes and if you want to spit on Steve by the way you could do so this Thursday December seventh at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City, New Jersey. We'll be talking about the Santa Claus. Well, I mean, the stage is pretty elevated, so you try your fucking best.

How about that? Oh, come on, no. No, we're not inviting that. We're not inviting that. I will have you removed from the fucking club so fast if anyone tries that? No way. No way. Steve has to say his keyword before you're allowed to do that to it. It's an excitement

thing. It's, you know, it has to allow you. coming in at number three Godzilla minus one gorgeous poster by the way I got to say oh yeah let's look at that again I love this poster look at that man hell yeah

fancy font on the December 1 by the way you look at that real quick but this was great this shit never happens 11 million dollars pretty cool the monster enthusiasm is alive and well I'm watching that Monarch show

I might be the only person on the planet to do so. What is that? I'm so vaguely aware of it. I watched the pilots so far. That's it. Here's the thing, because it's on Apple. They don't tell people that they make movies in television. Sure. But it is a like, it's a TV spinoff of that same Adam Wingard universe. Split timeline thing with Wyatt and Kurt Russell playing the same character decades apart. How am I not aware of this? I know. Because they don't tell people. people, they're making these fucking shows. And like, I got to say, I watched the first three episodes.

First two, a little slow. That third episode, dude, you get to Kurt Russell. It's got vibes of the thing going on. Fuck yeah. But yeah, it's on Apple, so nobody's going to ever watch it. No, that's right. It's going to be buried. It will be buried for good.

And like a lot of those shows, too, it's expensive as fuck. So it looks really good. Great. Yeah. they just love yeah what did you say oh no I had a joke

that I'm not going to tell I like that maybe he'll tell it on Thursday night December 7th they're waiting all in New Jersey come on folks

I was just saying you know if you're if you're going to like just totally waste money on projects you're not going to actually advertise maybe pay your workers

better maybe maybe instead of that just pay your workers better and not just bear movies and television. That would be great. I'll give some thoughts about Godzilla a little later here. But number two

holding on here, hunky games, songbirds and snakes and whatnot. Chris, by the end of that film, do you know who is songbird and who is a snake? Yes, you do. Okay. Really? 100%. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, yeah. I know a lot of people were asking that question. Yes, you do know

both of them. I now pronounce you snake. And you songbird. Rise. Quite a lot of snake play in that movie. At least they're not teasing it. It's like, oh, you know, I saw some guy. He's got a flare for the creative just like you. It's a snake.

It's like, I'll look into it. How's it going to go in? Yeah. I know nobody. I was bored, so I went to see it. Hey, you and a lot of other people, dude, we're looking at 240, million dollars globally. Yeah, yeah.

It's, I kind of like it better than any of the other ones. I'll be honest. I think the world is more interesting, like, the rawness of the fact that like what triggered the rebellion that triggered the hunger games

happened like 10 years ago. Like that at least has some immediacy in the characters where they're just like a little shattered. They're a little like on edge. Everybody's like believably paranoid. There's a better atmosphere than there is and any of those.

Chris, can you tell that that movie set in North America at all or no? I don't think, no, not really. It's just like, I think, I mean, like, it's not what the movie's focusing on. Like, maybe in the margins, if I had, like, really paid attention to everything, I would have heard, like, oh, Minnesota. But, like, it's nothing like that. It's just mostly about the creation of the games and, like, the early versions of the games. Okay.

do you also one follow-up question real quick yes do you see anyone watching the games is there any indication of an audience besides a yes show host yes there is oh good they heard me they heard my note maybe it's that dude in the bathtub of the truman show remember that guy that guy was a lot of fun oh that guy love tv or there's the uh the security guards with the domino's pizza yep uh also by the way yes the chat going nuts for hunger game yeah hunger games is a uh there's a story from our mailbag that changed the world I think a little bit changed the world on fire

absolutely you know you realize it's another another level lower in the depths of human depravity hunger games colon the ballad of snaking a toilet I think is what that story is I think like hunger games like Godzilla

people just were always love a shit in yourself story yeah it is the American art form is shitting yourself. It's a tale as old as time. Shitting yourself. It's so good. And I will always say everybody right now is sitting in their fucking ivory towers thinking,

I'm not going to shit myself next year. There's a good chance you might. There's a really good chance. And somehow it'll be a circumstance in which you listener will shit yourself in the next 365 days. And you'll be like, Steve Sadek was right. I will quote the late great Leonard Cohen, nobody gets out of here clean. everyone should have like a one of those things like a number of days since an accident you know oh yeah in their house yeah just keep track of how much you don't shit yourself so

you feel better for the one time you do sure you just point to it all the time when somebody like is making funny if you i haven't shipped myself in 13 days yeah you could really like sort of commodify that right it's like you could craft a nice sort of chalkboard set kind a signage thing for it, sell that at Christmas. Like, oh, you got this really nice Etsy store days since I've shipped myself bored. Oh, look at this. I mean, eventually, you might

be able to get those into like five below stores and stuff like that. You might really be able to produce those mass quantities. And then dominating the box office here at number one. Renaissance, the Beyonce concert film sold dang near over a million

tickets coming in at 21 million dollars. And this is the same like AMC theater's distribution deal that the Taylor Swift movie did. Very interesting to see this stuff happen here.

I think what was the number? 49% of the ticket sales for this movie were premium large format and IMAX screens. Holy shit. That's a lot of large screens taken in the Beyonce concert film here.

And it's, you know, it's got like no competition this coming weekend, not a ton going on box office wise. This might just continue to ride the top here. I wouldn't be surprised. When was the concert? Was it like, is it like from years ago? The record came out last year. So I imagine it was whatever that was. Yeah, like the summer.

Okay. Maybe I'm trying to think. But like, yeah, I mean, it's a really good. I haven't seen the movie. Really good record. Yeah. This, it follows the, the tour. I think so I think you're in multiple places unlike the Taylor Swift thing was just at the

lo-fi center this is like it shows you more about like the making of the tour and it like like every what is the descriptions you oh everywhere from like Stockholm to Kansas City like the entirety of the tour in some way or another is featured so that's but that was essentially what the last one the one she did for Netflix was very similar in that and that a lot of it is back right that's I think the big difference between this one and the Taylor Swift movie. movie is that there is a lot of focus on like building the sets doing the routines beforehand yeah i'd much rather see that you know not not much rather but like i like what that's spliced in because if it's just i mean a concert movie is a concert movie you know

that's funny well that's how i sort of distinguish like if you have stuff in that like that kind of a more of a music documentary in a way yeah um like a performance film it's just like just the movie the thing yeah yeah yeah bianza hasn't dominated the box office this much since Gold Member. Nice. Remember that? I do indeed. I do.

I remember all... Remember Gold member? I do remember. Every painful fucking minute of that movie I saw in theaters. Do you remember Dreamgirls, Eric? No, I don't. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's a really good Eddie Murphy performance. I actually never saw that. It's a really good Beyonce performance in that movie too. Right, you're right. You're right. I forgot about Dream Girls. Totally. I didn't see it.

I missed it. But I saw Gold Member. You did? That's important. More than once. That's more. important, I would say. Well, I'm definitely a one and done with a gold member. Sorry, Steve.

No, I'm just kind of curious if this if Beyonce's concert movie and Telosov's concert movie is going to hold a candle to the upcoming concert movie of Iron and Wine opening this week as well, I think. I don't know. Maybe he might do it.

Is that one called a ballad of songbirds and snakes as well? No, he's playing. It was kind of bummed because we're recording tomorrow and the week is crazy but he's actually going to be at the Quad Cinema tomorrow to present it and do some music and I was like I would

I would have went to that but I can't. Yeah. I don't know Steve, stranger things have happened at the box office my friends. I guess I'll just have to hold our breath and see. Next week a movie with Mickey Rourke and Liza Medelli will open.

Will it be as successful? And then just real quick, a nice little art market premiere here. Neons Eileen. Come on. I want to see this. Open down. Yeah. I am interested in this as well. I think it was at Sundance this year. 91K on six screens brings you about 55 per screen

or 15K rather per screen average. Not too shabby. Not too shabby. A little six screen open. It's going to get a little wider this coming weekend as far as screen number. Probably not too large. I'd imagine this is not they don't have as high a stake in this as they have. It's something like anatomy of a murder at Neon. So like don't expect this to go super wide. But if it's in your town, check it out in the theater, support

neon. They're a great company. Or catch it on VOD, which I'm sure is right around the corner. Yeah, how it goes. Yeah, but once again, folks, holy smokes, this Thursday, I can't even believe it's happening. We've been talking about this one for a long time.

We've been promoting this for 17 years, and we'd love for you folks to come out. No, didn't these tickets went on sale in July or something. Sounds right. So, like, we plugged it, and then it, like, went away for a while, and then we're plugging it again. Because it's happening in just a few short days, folks.

This is Monday, and on Thursday, we're going to be rocking and rolling at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City, New Jersey. Oh, talking about the Santa Claus. Oh, God, it's going to be great. Timmy Allen. A fat, jolly good time in Jersey City. It's going to be so much fun. Indeed.

Cannot wait. Cannot wait. So it's kind of like Monster City around here on On Screen Live this morning, I have to say Because we got a new monster movie coming out There's a monster movie that came out this weekend But there's another monster movie coming out in the spring We're going to watch the trailer on a segment

We like to call trailer segment Now, we were talking about how Godzilla minus one had a great poster. And I know this is just a teaser poster, but it's a bad teaser poster. Look at this shit for Godzilla and Kong, the new empire. Just a fun, fun. It's fucking terrible. It looks like the marvels or something with this. It kind of like the suicide squad might show up.

I like to see them go up against these big fellows. It looks like an announcement poster. Like, this exists now, like what you would do at, like, a trade show, like, when you're just trying to get people to, like, invest in the fucking thing. Right, exactly. Like, you just signed, like, the contract for some fundraising, like, the day before. Like, I'm telling you right now, I'm sorry, folks, a fucking cloud here is not getting people excited for this. monster movie. I'm also just

the fact that it's like the X, the collaboration thing. It's ridiculous. It's like, I don't know. I agree. It should be something different. It should be Godzilla X-Con. He just got out of prison. He's trying to set his life straight. Or

Godzilla slash con and maybe they're fucking. And maybe they're fucking. Yes. Oh, sure. We see them bash into each other. Let's see them bash into each other. Here it is. It says, the movie is called Godzilla slash Kong and in parentheses it says

M. Pregg. So you know there is, one of them is getting pregnant. And then the question, then I'm buying a ticket. I'm like, well, who's getting who pregnant? You know what I mean? The Metro Roderick movie had M.Preg Godzilla. Yeah, you're right. It's kind of a lot of had at this point. I mean, that's the thing. You know what? You've been at,

you've been looking for something to bring Brandon Kronenberg up to the big leagues. Yep. Here we go. You know, this is something he can deal with his father's legacy of, you know, birthing weird animals. Yes. Think about that goopy baby that Godzilla and King Kong would produce.

Oh, yeah. It'd be great. Chris, as far as your Brandon Cronenberg idea, can we just keep some talented filmmakers in the mid-majors for a long time? I don't need this guy making big ass fucking monster movies. It will never happen. After an affinity pool, people know him, baby. Yeah, I don't know about that.

Oh, you're the guy that made the movie where the guy from True Blood came on a rock. that i mean hey if that is what you're known for going forward alexander that's pretty good all right i will say i think brandon man get ready for three people to clap i think brandon krodenberg would be a very good choice if they ever did the x-men the phalanx covenant now we're talking that's a lot of like bioengineered yellow black yep yeah yeah yeah that was pretty cool i'd be into it yeah yeah there you go yeah i'll take you work for glad you two are excited yeah i'm gonna stop this show

dead from my own fucking purposes So phalanx, that's a Greek army or something It's like a computer disease kind of. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Ooh. Maybe Steve. Stranger things have happened at the box office, Steve.

All right, let's get going with this trailer here. The terribly named and shittily teaser posted Godzilla X-Kong, the new empire. Trailer is in the episode description below. If you're on YouTube folks. You fellas ready over there. Oh, you are. All right. We're going to watch this trailer and as soon as my computer

stops being stupid. Here we go. Three, two, one, go. Oh, wow, I'm gonna like this. A real voice is not. Are we a needle? Here we go. Oh, that's a bay. all right don't just call out things like my uncle on a road trip it's a funny thing to be it's not a pyramid in Chris's one it's funny to be like

the human race or whatever and it's like remember it's been around a while he was in pyramids I heard about it oh wait is that a transformer dude I thought it was a transformer when I watched this

it's just King Kong now Napoleon is shooting a cannon at him does he have like one of those wrist support gloves what is that I don't know I think yeah he's got carpal tunnel from too much swinging on binds and shit

and on the computer too much even on fortnight my friend I am curious is this new empire going to be a frozen empire by any chance I don't think so you know what one frozen empire a year is enough for the movies

and you know what I don't need spaceships in these movies oh babies yeah that's like tech that they introduced I think in the last movie Eric yeah okay yeah um

That's some other ape. I think it's the son of Kong, dude, the little guy there. I like how Dan Stevens is like, I'm really hot. Can I be in big movies or what? What's going on? Yeah, dude. I'm glad that he's in this man. That guy's getting a raw deal with his career.

I know. The wild. Just as much CGI in that. Oh, man. What is going on? I don't know. Is Asgard involved? What the fuck is this?

All the drugs. All the drugs. I stopped paying attention to this trailer for three seconds, and now the Mayans are involved? I don't know if they're Mayans. I think it's like ancient civilization stuff. I don't know. Oh, wow, Pink Godzilla.

That's pretty cool. Godzilla coming out against breast cancer in this movie. I like that. Godzilla, only in November, by the way. Yeah, no, exactly. He's changing the color of his cleats. Oh, who's this dude? This bald con.

I like this guy. We're going to have some serious monster carnage in this movie, man. Consul's butt was charging up. Oh, wait, it was his mouth. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Yes. So fucking stupid. It's going to be so stupid, Chris, and I'm going to love every fucking second. I like that last one, so we'll see.

Yeah. It is, that last one is firmly in the category of movies that I really enjoyed that I can't tell you a fucking second about. I could tell you anything that happened to that movie, but I did enjoy it. Was that Diddy Kong there? Possibly. they're a little son of Kong yeah he's going to get a cap at the end of it the very the the stinger is him getting that a little uh hat and then donkey and him going on adventures it's king con like putting his hands on a steering wheel like learning how to drive a fucking car he gets it he gets the red tie puts it on all this sudden you know that that's happening eventually now that we got the mario brothers and that everybody's trying to make the zelda movie you're going to have donkey you're going to get like a trailer where like It's going to be a buildup and then you're going to see when those bees come up on the screen, really, the little guy going to up and down, and that's going to be the teaser. It'll, yeah, the, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-this Christmas.

Honestly, they will do so bad. They will do amazing things. If they can keep that soundtrack, the soundtracks for those games are fucking great. Yeah, the music on those games are perfect. Yeah, just bring that back. don't even bother fucking getting somebody else to score it just do that um yeah eric to your question i think uh a lot of that stuff in that last movie or steve you were talking about too not remembering it we're doing like hollow earth shit and like yes tunnels and all that conspiracy theory stuff

um so whatever i don't know maybe that's just for me i like the hollow earth i like the hollow earth i think we should do the flat earth now like godzilla gets up and it just flattens the earth and then there's ice guards Godzilla's standing on the edge of the earth he's tipping the whole earth over we got to get him in the middle we're flying into space we need you to be the core of the earth Kong

we need you to do it for us I mean that I thought that was the best sequence in that last movie was him in the hollow earth when it was just like what I come here to see it's just monsters battling each other and like unlike Godzilla minus one

in which we were going to talk about a minute. Like, the human stuff's really interesting in Godzilla minus one. Usually, it is not. And that was my major issue with that last one is I just found all the human stuff completely useless. And then I,

this looks like maybe. What are you talking about? Shin Godzilla? No, no, no. In the prequel to Godzilla. The hollow earth one? A hollow earth one. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Godzilla versus Khan. Yeah. Like, I found all of the human stuff

in that movie was just completely fucking throw in the trash. Isn't Brian Tyree Henry? Isn't he, uh, he's a podcaster then he's a podcaster. Yeah. That's the one thing I remember. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, now it appears as if he's like fully entrenched in the world

of monster exploration. I don't know. Podcasting. No more. No, no. Not so much. He's probably got like a syndicated fucking they should hire us as podcast consultants. You guys never do it right in the movies. You don't know what they're doing. That's probably, I mean, actually, absolutely do

give us money. But Monarch, I mean, if he, Monarch definitely needs an official podcast. So like, why wouldn't you ask him to do it? Well, it'd be great if in the trailer is like, oh my God, I just shit my me undies. I'm going to need a rest on my helix. But yes,

speaking of Chris Cabin, Godzilla minus one came out just this Friday here. And I got to tell you, one thing that's pretty cool. seeing the Toho international logo on the big screen that was fucking sweet

and I was like the only loser in the theater that was like yeah what was it I mean was it a crowded theater or what do we tell you? It was I have to say so I went it was like a four o'clock show on the Upper West Side on a Saturday and it was pretty full

it was pretty full you know not like ass to ankles or anything but more than I anticipated to be at the the theater. And it was also in like a bigger theater that I anticipated it to be in. So all around, that was a pleasant surprise. Same for me. And at the same time, I saw Saturday evening as well. And it was a pretty good crap. Like, I mean, again, it wasn't fully sold out or

anything like that. But there were at least half of each aisle was taken up. Yeah. So like, I really think the human stuff in the movie is great. It's like, it strikes that really nice balance of like human drama and monster carnage, which I think like to Chris what you were pointing out, these like Warner Brothers legendary movies they're in it more for the monster carnage and the people are second.

It's just different kinds of Godzilla movie making, you know? And so like this is way more entrenched in like a story and like reacting to Japanese history and you know certain events and stuff like that. So it's like real traditional Godzilla in that sense. But all

the human characters are really good and the you're like actually invested in it and like if there wasn't a giant fucking radioactive lizard running around it's just really nice like human drama. Yeah. I mean it's I thought it was really a solid version of this. I've been

breaking these down into musical genres. The 98 one is clearly new metal Godzilla. Sure. And 2014 is stoner metal Godzilla of course. This is emo Godzilla. Okay. A very, very anchored

in, like, high emotional state. Like, there are more than four, like, emotional breakdowns in the movie, like, by man, that has nothing to do really with Godzilla at all. What does Godzilla break down? I haven't seen it yet. I want to see it. I don't want to. I don't want to ruin it for you.

There is a megatier that causes a nuclear explosion, but no, I'm kidding. It's kind of great if he's just, like, smash the buildings that he just kind of leads on one, like, what the fuck am I doing? What am I? What is this? you're just going to feel like shit tomorrow Godzilla you know you're 50 years old motherfucker

come on he's cranking a dial on his stereo and you're just like oh what's that it's an acoustic guitar dashboard confessional just starts playing you can't figure your shit out Godzilla Godzilla web because there were no more kingdoms to conquer

well because the premise is this is basically Japan right after Hiroshima right or is it not it's like the ass end of World War two, like the final days of World War 2. So it's about a kamikaze pilot kind of like doesn't want to do the deed that he's

assigned to do. So he fakes that his plane has a mechanical problem and lands like on a repair island basically. Oh, cool. And Godzilla appears and this dude in an act of cowardice like he freezes up and he doesn't

use his like plane machine gun to shoot at this thing and all the dudes on the island get wiped out except for him and another guy. So it's this whole story of this dude coming home and everybody's like, how are you alive? Weren't you a kamikaze pilot?

And they all just like, think he's a total fucking coward and hate his guts and everything. Meanwhile, it's all like he's living in like a completely destroyed Tokyo. That's pretty cool. So it's this dude like trying to rebuild his life and like redeem himself.

He takes in a woman with a young child like gives them a home. and they sort of like years go by and they kind of form a found family which is kind of interesting. Then they're all them and Godzilla are stuck at a prep school over the holidays. Is that how that works?

That's right. Yep. And they go to a nice Christmas Eve party. It's crazy how Oppenheimer also was birthed Godzilla. Absolutely. Godzilla, that's another detention. God damn it, Godzilla.

That's another detention. You went into the hollow-o-us? we're going to talk about that movie in a second but just yeah just really quick like yeah it's fucking great if you like Godzilla you absolutely have to check it out the computer effects are really good all the destruction stuff really cool not to spoil anything but Chris

when the fucking like wind tunnel thing happens to that one character my jaw was open in the theater for like a full minute there's good destruction stuff they think about there's actually some clever ideas it's just not the normal you know blow it up crush it and like there are those

things but they do other stuff which is nice and like I said there's this is one of those few ones where they actually make like the human stuff worth it and it's not just like process like the 2014 one I think does a lot by just like we're just trying to figure these things out so a lot of the

talk of that this is actually a story that goes along with it I thought that was pretty clever yeah yeah so Chris I'm curious to see if the cleverness continued. John Woo's new one, Silent Night, which I believe you're the only one to see. So take us through that big dad.

I am a simp for Mr. Wu. I should not, I should not, after seeing wind talkers, I should not be doing this anymore. But I still do. It, you know what? It's really well directed. But it is,

it's like Michael winner, death wish three or four level racist. Really? Yeah. like really wild shit like I was pretty are we against like what the Latin Americans again we yeah

it's always like an active gang war going on through most of the movie whatever it's more racist than the Jennifer Garner movie from a couple of years ago that's like peppermint oh I almost said butter I think that was another movie shoes I can't wait for olive oil

only the gardener head saw that one but like pepper it's literally if peppermint was really well directed is essentially what this is um i do like i mean like the thing is is the conceit's really good it allows you know woo likes a lot of big sweeping camera movements and he gets to do a lot of it and it's like really cool to watch until you like are like oh so he's just okay slaughtering okay oh boy okay like and like if you can get over that stuff then you're probably going to enjoy more than i did It was much easier in the beginning. As things get bloodier and more intense,

I was a little bit less comfortable. Was the violence good? You know, John Wu's known for... Violence is very good. The fights are great. The gun play is really good. Any doves? Any doves?

I didn't see any. That's a goddamn shame. Dude, two turtle doves. It's on the fucking Christmas song. Yeah, it is right there. I will be, I will say, I went to a bathroom for one minute. it could have been it could have happened then could have been that dove minute but uh i don't remember it uh but it like like i said it's a john woo movie so the action is really fucking good like and

the emotions are done like the emotional stuff is done at a very high pitch uh to kind of like match the energy of the action so and i buy all that it's just it's so like the premise is so fucking bad yeah oh so quick question because I don't believe this to be a spoiler at all so obviously Kenyman's not talking because that's the conceit of the movie

are people talking around him a little not they do I think so are we breaking our fucking back not to have people talk like that stupid alien movie sometimes they absolutely are

but it seems like that is kind of obvious from the beginning like he's he's like buying into it's not something like you do like if you want to enjoy

you kind of have to bind it like they text in one scene okay there's a written letter in one scene i think the um the villains talk i think but like kid cuddy i don't think says anything joll kinnaman doesn't say anything i don't think catalina marino says anything um yeah i just i think that's a stupid device i mean it works for me because i know john wu likes to go big and like you kind of just try stuff yeah he's a big corny dude you know you gotta kind of buy that with him like face off is corny as shit like but i i love that movie because it's also action heaven it's also got some real cracking dialogue throughout well yes so you know i don't know i mean it's a rental for me because oddly i'm looking around the city all this past weekend the showtimes

for this movie we're terrible well nobody cared it's just yeah i mean it was just it was barely playing any place I think what did I say Eric I was looking at the numbers it debuted at nine oh yes this weekend did not do it that's a bad what I what I did not mention though

speaking of bad showings during highest gross and I feel I'm obligated to point this out the marvels already out of the entire top 10 yeah it's officially the biggest MCU box office failure just yeah so

so so what is so Chris what soft recommend you're saying yeah it's a very soft record it depends hugely on how like if politics really do like state the course of your like movie going experience i you're probably not going to like this it's pretty bad uh but if you're in for like good action you know whatever it is you you can deal with it it's like it's not the the guys do kill his kid so there is that uh but uh but uh you know it's it's totally on that it's if you can get over it great if not i would stay away. Do you think on Earth 2, Joel Kinneman's a huge

movie star, or maybe it's Earth 3, or do we have to go all the way to Earth 10 to get there? One of those Earths, he said no to that Robocop, and it was for the better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got something else from that. I don't know what it would have been. He probably got into Marvel if he doesn't take that. Yeah, that's a good question, yeah. Yeah. I guess

he was teasing a return to the D.C. stuff with what was his guy? Rick Flagg from the Suicide Squad. You know, I thought he was fine in the in the gun version. I thought that was he did well with that but like yeah I mean I don't have I think I like him for the most part I do I like to be the killing it just he's it's just flop after flop for that guy

it's been pretty bad with that stuff yeah it's just too it's too bad um all right Eric Cisca something that tiny little theatrical footprint but it is out on VOD and digital in a blue ray tomorrow a disturbance in the forest how the Star Wars holiday special happened this is a new doc that's out that you saw yes new doc coming

at. They sent me a screener because they know, you know. Well, yeah. You know, it's funny because I think, Andrew, you and I were talking about it a bit, that it, after a while, this is the type of documentary, which eventually does feel like a DVD extra, where you have talking heads, and it does get a little saggy and boring. But the start, I think the first like 40 minutes of this movie, this doc, is really good, because it really contextualizes what was going on with television. at the time. It goes through the variety

shows of the era, how they were, for some reason they thought that people would forget Star Wars, even though it broke all those records and people were walking. People kept going back and back to the theater, but they were convinced that if they didn't slaughter us on television

with Star Wars content, that people would forget about Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back would be a flop. So it sort of kicks off this race to get this holiday special made for 1978. And basically, on an instinctual level, maybe making sound decisions, like this is a variety TV special, let's get people who've made those to make it. And you kind of just see the deterioration of the product from initially, potentially good and interesting ideas, good loosely, that George had about Life Day and the rookies.

that was him, but then it just, it just deteriorates and deteriorates into what we see as the store's holiday spent. Which, I mean, it is deterioration. That is the word for it. Watching it, I was deteriorating. I think we all are. I mean, is there anything, do they, at any point, focus on the creation of VR porn in that movie?

They do not. They do not. I think they do mention about, they do mention it. But they don't go into, like, insane detail. Actually, you might be right. I think they maybe do mention that in the moment. Diane Carroll as the first virtual reality porn star. They have to talk about that.

They did, maybe not contextualizing it in that. I'm starting to, because the problem is we did, folks at home, we did a new episode on the Star Wars holiday special. And I'm kind of, I'm like, we talked about VR porn the whole time. So I was like, did that. Yes, they did. They did. It was mentioned.

See, that's the thing. So it starts off as an actual document. then kind of, because that's the problem, I think, with a lot of these sorts of documentaries, is they devolve into filling the space of, hey, remember the 80s kind of a thing. And then we're getting- Oh, yeah, totally. Yep. And it just sort of like, that I've turned so many, because like, sometimes it's like a really interesting concept. I think the, I turned off the Miss Cleo doc, if everyone, anyone remembers that from like last year. Oh, I watched it in its entirety.

Because I was like, oh, cool, Miss Cleo. Like, that's, I would love to know more about this thing. And, like, this was a really interesting moment in the 90s. And then it starts with like, remember the 90s? I'm like, I'm fucking out of here. It didn't get much better than that, Steve. Is that what this is, Eric? Or is it? Well, it doesn't really devolve into that necessarily. It's just sort of like the production ins and outs that after a while you're like, unless you're really interested in like the, you know, secondary producers at Lucas films and what

they were what they were going through. So it's sort of just, it might be too thorough. that actually yes it might actually be too thorough to be fully fully entertaining but I still gave it three stars I think it's worth seeing if you're very interested in the Star Wars holiday special because they do talk about every little thing our good friend of a friend of the show Gilbert Godfried's in it briefly oh wow oh yeah it's nice to see him pop up in something you know I see a comment in the chat Ben here was asking if Bruce Valanche was one of the talking heads yes he's all over it because he was one of the writers

so check it out right that's really cool there you go um all right and just for clarification I don't know someone asked Andrew hated no one will save you I didn't hate it find my letterbox about it I say Caitlin Deaver's really good in it the effects are really good I just think that that

device is fucking stupid uh but Andrew why do you hate movies why do you hate them all all the time why I know answer me I know I know I know. I know. Anyway, let's keep on chugging along here.

One of the best of the year, IMO, the new Alexander Payne film. That's been out for a bit, but we finally all fucking saw it. The holdovers. It's great. Me as recently as literally this morning, I rented and watched it. He's back. He's back making a movie that I really liked, because I

truly did not care for that downsizing. Or, did he do it? No, that's Cameron. Oh, he's got him and Cameron Crowbix. sometimes he did Cameron Crowe did Aloha. That's right. Yes, sir. Did Payne have something between this and

I don't think so? Brownsizing? They've been talking about doing that election sequel forever. Yeah. I don't know if that will ever happen, but you know. Yeah. I love the holdovers. And speaking of back, more importantly,

Alexander Payne, great. Paul fucking Giumati, man. And I mean, I think that like you could look at this room. look at these four quadrants and understand that in 2004 and 2005 when like America is Splendor and Sideways came out, all four of us were very invested in Paul Giovanni. He looked from the world on fire, dude. He did.

It was like this interesting like kind of like sad dude that like just like had this presence that I could relate to. And then like he just got lost to television and. John Adams was good though. Yes. That's true. John Adams is excellent. Verizon commercials and all this shit. Billions just

ate him up. But now he's back. I just, I think that this is like a trilogy of the, like, what I've been waiting for for you, since like American Splendor or whatever, or sideways, like another one of those. And it's another one of those. It's great. It's an ideal old Giamati performance.

Like literally what you were looking for. And I mean, you talk about like sideways and American Splendor and yeah, I think that's really when he was setting the world on fire really. But, like, I have been stowing away my fucking, like, my weekly pay from doing chores and was putting it on him in private parts. I was like, this is the guy. Yeah.

This guy right. Right. I right. Right. Yeah. Great point. Thank you for mentioning private parts. Because I, when I think of that movie, I don't think of how it's stirring.

I think about big. I think of them. They're, they're, them going at each other is some of the best parts. W. W. Yes. That is amazing. I mean, what I like about this

It's it's him like it feels like an older movie and I think it's him like dealing with becoming older He got he did I think downsizing for whatever people think of it. It's his most ambitious idea. It's like his biggest idea and it's like his biggest idea. I mean yeah in a movie where people get tiny. Yes, yes. But like it also feels like this is him like stepping back and being like oh well like go back to like where you started with being in love with Hal Ashby and like this feels very much like a Hal Ashby movie down to like the product just the way it looks like you know it's sort of like the house

of the devil where it's like this could have existed back then oh I mean they're leaning into that really hard you know the opening is the old universal logo of fake focus features logo nostalgic for a time I wasn't alive yeah

honestly this made me nostalgic for again the mid-aughts like these movies were out there a lot in the mid-aughts and I just feel like I haven't seen something that's just like thinky and talky and you know really feelings-y like feelings on the sleeve kind of a movie that's but again it's well made and I think that like I think all three leads are great obviously Gianmani's fantastic the kid is really really good and so is divine joy Randolph I guess my one if I have a beef I think that she needs one more beat in that movie and I don't know where she does I agree she just needs like I think like

because she goes, like, at a certain point, she goes to her sister's house and the movie leaves her there. And I'm like, but what's going on? Like, you know what I mean? Like, if it's a true, like, triangle of a movie, I need to just, like, one more scene of her doing something there. That's where it kind of slips because the missed opportunity there, there's a shot of, like, they revisit once. And it's like, oh, you know, what is she up to? And it's her and her sister, like, sitting on a bed talking. And the husband, like, goes to, like, interrupt them as like,

oh, no, they're having sisterly time and walks away. It's like this great shot, but like you don't, first of all, you don't hear what they're saying. Yes. Which is a failure. There's just music. It's like montage music over it. And then it fades out and like just give that scene.

I want to see what that scene is because on the other end of it, she has like repaired certain family things and is like in a kind of better place. And I want to see that conversation that got her there. Yes. I think that would be great. and I think that would be a much better

because they also start teasing, but I think it's done very warmly the little flirtation she has with the with the janitor. Oh, yeah. I think that's wonderful. But I'm glad that there's focus more on the family stuff rather than a romance with them because I think that's more true to what the movie

is talking about. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I miss that scene too, Andrew. Yeah. Yeah, she's, I don't think I'd ever, I mean, she sort of does like some drama chops in Dolomite is my name. But like she's fucking

hysterical on only murders in the building so to see her just come out swinging in this fucking pitch perfect dramatic and comedic performance Bravo, divine, like you slayed this movie. I was stunned the kid

doesn't suck. Yeah. I have to say. Yes, yeah, totally agree. He's good. Because you kind of have to have your guard up for like a disgusting shit boy situation. And this guy Dominic Sessa, was it an introducing Dominic Sessa? It was. Yeah. Yeah. And he's got this. Oh my God. He was born in

2002. I'll be dead now. He's got the thickest jersey accent anyone's ever had. And I fucking love it. Yeah. Absolutely. What do these bags are doing? It's like, oh yeah, kid. You're not even, you're not even trying to hide it. I mean, also there is a filthy shit boy. And that is Coons. Coons is clearly the filthy shit.

I could have used things of other beats that I could have used I mean I love the way the movie unfolds and like there's a lot of holdovers at one point and then it's obviously just down to the kid I could have used one or two more beats of Mormon kid that kid was making me laugh oh yeah dude yeah it's kind of supposed to be like sad in its own way but Mormon kid throwing the other glove in the river yeah yeah it was a great moment at the Korean kids one scene with Tully is really really yeah like a lot of emotions in that in that scene. I got to say Chris, like I experienced like some emotion going on with this movie. I did not anticipate that to happen. This movie got to me a couple times. It's a really

effective movie. It's really like it's beautifully shot too by the way. Really great. It's I think Payne's warmest movie. Like he usually is a little bit more prickly than this like and like Giamati is the prickly like presence and you could still feel like pain in

his character, I think. But the world, he's not as, like, acerbic about the world in his view of it. Like, Gimani gives that, but like the actual view of pain isn't like that. Whereas I think that was true of almost anything. Downsizing, I think, is a little warm too at the end. But like, before then, it was just like total like the world shit, like Nebraska. You're like, oh my God. Oh, that's bleak. That's a bleak one. Yeah, no, it's just, it's so great to have a movie like this.

And I, I'm so bummed. Well, it's weird, right? Like, on the one hand, I'm bummed. Like, fuck, I waited until December 4th to see this movie that in New York has been out since late October. But, like, I'm sorry, this is a Christmas motion picture. This whole, like, you did a platform release of this movie in fucking late October. What is the matter with you? Like, there's, there's doggone Christmas music in this movie to try and out loud.

It's such a Christmas. But that's what I love about it, too, is it's, it's a sad Christmas movie. You know what I mean? It is got it's the, it's a Christmas that you and your 40s could be like, yep, I get it.

You know what I mean? Like, and I like, I like that about that, which is sort of like, I mean, again, like Christmas is so dominated by this hallmark horse shit.

You know what I mean? I think that it's nice to see some like, you know, Christmas with some teeth on it, you know, and not crampus by that. Well, yeah,

I love all the music in it, but you're right. You could just like take it all out and just put the Vince Garaldi. Oh, Charlie Brown Christmas thing over this. It would flip the mood. The mood's correct. Yeah. Oh, you'd still feel like buying rope

at the hardware store. Don't even worry about it. Great segue, Steve, because something I want to wrap up on, because I got to warn people for the holidays this season. You know, there's so many, Steve just mentioned all the Hallmark movies and the Lifetime Christmas and everything like that. You are better off with those movies, folks,

than some of the stuff that I got to warn you against on Netflix. You got this best Christmas ever. This is Jason Biggs. Now, look, so you got brandy, okay, the beautiful Brandy. Heather Graham here, speaking of Austin Powers, some dude Matt Sedeno, and then Jason Biggs. This is a movie about Graham and Biggs kid intentionally puts in Brandy's address from a Christmas letter they got because she's like Heather Graham's like super rich, successful friend. and this kid like

the Christmas letter is like stop by Christmas anytime you want our family would love to have yours this kid like takes them up on that so they like douche chill don't know they're pulling up to Brandy's house for Thanksgiving or for Christmas

and they just it's like old friends who haven't seen each other in years massive douche chill situation and they spend like five days with these people it's so uncomfortable holy fuck why it's really brutal it's something about

Like, they're supposed to be going to her sister's new house. So Heather Graham doesn't recognize the address either way, I guess. Okay. By the way, Heather Graham and Brandy are both scientists. Okay. And Brandy invents a solar-powered hot air balloon. Oh, good. That's good.

Sounds like to watch this movie, I need a solar-powered gun to put to my head. Smart bunnies have smart bunnies. Yeah. Oh, also a third act, uh, secret dead kid revealed. stay away from that movie that is indeed you guessed it directed by Mary Lambert of Pet Cemetery Fowler What? Yep

And then the other one really quickly here Christmas movie in fucking Some scenes only family switch Oh that's what I tried you said you were watching this last night And then I type of sun swap and I watched like two hours of that and stay Right you're like where the hell's Jennifer Garner? I know it was good I actually liked it a lot Yeah, there's a white Christmas in that one at least, Steve.

Dude, this movie is a straight-up, by the way, directed by Mick G in his continued relationship with Netflix. This movie is Ed Helms and Jennifer Gardner played two like, we love Christmas parents. And they're two, like, teenage kids that kind of are bad parents to and kind of ignore and whatever. So wouldn't you know it? It's a body swap situation.

But it is so clearly, like, someone wrote a script for a body swap movie. And then someone was like, you know, if you put Christmas in that, I'll greenlight it. Yeah. Christmas is such a fucking afterthought that like, whenever they mention it in the movie, you're like, oh yeah, this is a Christmas movie. Fake as fuck. Holy shit.

The director, did you mention that? I just wasn't paying attention. Yeah. Holy fuck. Yep. Fuck him. It's really brutal. Ed Helms, another dude, I have no ill will toward, but like that dude just is not in movies I care

for. I steer clear if he's around I'm sorry and I've I liked him and stuff but it's just like at this point it's like you know what dude fool me 12 times yeah exactly they have some joke where it's like they mention uh like big 17 again and you guessed it 13 going on 30

all in this like round table of jokes about those kinds of movies and I'm like oh man did everybody get it oh it's really brutal stuff you've got like brother and sister kissing jokes. Linda Moreno playing what was

at one point just like kind of a like Eastern European psychic character but then because of this script overhaul is now like a Christmas angel of some kind maybe. You know it would be cool if one of these body swap movies

because it's always like oh we need to get the idol by 12 o'clock or it's never going to turn back and like there's just another guy in the movie like oh yeah Yeah, yeah, I used to be my sister. Yeah, I didn't get the idol at the right time. Yeah, I don't know, it's been 40 years. This body's okay, I guess, of being a man for 40 years.

What are you going to do? I would fucking love that, dude. Like, the movie takes place after the body swap failure. Yes, exactly. Hell yeah. Like a body swap Jumanji. Yeah, I like that. Dude, and final thing about this movie to make you stay clear of it,

or actually maybe, I don't know, this might get some people to turn it on. because it has to be like a one for one the family's like all together so it's like Ed Helm switches with the son Jennifer Garner switches with the daughter but then they have a third kid who's a baby like there's two

teenage children and then like clearly an accident third kid sure you guys strap in dog the baby switches with the dog and you have a CGI baby running around a house acting like a dog like it's the son of the mask

So then now this dog with the soul of a human could grow old. Yeah, totally. Finally have consensual. Sorry. Yes, he could. I'm very interested in this legal theory. They're playing the log game on a beastiality loophole. Is that what I'm talking?

Hey, I'm pitching the sequel, okay? Got it. I see. I see. There will be no sequel. John Waters is a family switch too. Sorry, my head is in the gutter right now. I'm on Mick G's IMDB page.

Prior to this, he directed one of the episodes of Turner and Hooch, the TV show. And then the last big movie, big movie, Rim of the world, rim of the world. Is that the title we're going with?

What's that about? I think it's about when you put the tongue in and you swirl it. Flat earth? Is it about the flat earth? It sounds like it could be a flatter. Ampers must band together and conquer their foods in order to save the world during, you guessed it, an alien invasion. No, thank you.

That would be, no, thank you for me. That would be brutal. So anyway, I just wanted to warn people against both of those movies. Of course. You are better off on the goddamn Hallmark channel. Anyway, that's going to do it for onscreen live this week, folks. We have a huge week because, of course, the biggest thing about it, this Thursday, we are at White Eagle Hall.

in Jersey City, New Jersey. We're talking about this movie. The Santa Claus. That's right. Oh, dude, I should have made that be the theme song we walk out to. What was I thinking? And also, folks, speaking of, we were talking about that, the mailbag story there, about Hunger Game, you can get the audio-only edition of the November mailbag.

It is out now. Wherever you get your pods, of course, or you can catch the visual replay here on the YouTube channel. And, man, we are getting into it. The December offerings here, first up, released last Friday. If you miss that, we love movies all about lethal weapon. Oh, yeah.

That's a Christmas movie, folks. It is. Absolutely. And episode dropping tomorrow on the Tuesday feed. Of course, we are back to We Hate Movies going right into December with another Christmas action film. Die Hard, too. That's going to be pretty

exciting stuff. And if you're a person, who, you know, you're going to listen to Die Hard 2 and you're like, boy, I'd like to listen to Die Hard 2 without commercials. We got you covered on the Patreon ad free at the $8 level and up. You can listen to us riff on why maybe sticking John McLean in a boring airport wasn't the best idea. Yeah, not great.

So we got that. The show Thursday and then, boom, Friday on Patreon, Melro 210, the December edition. We're back. The Parisian vacation is behind us, Steve. That's right. We're building castles in the sand. Yes. And Brandon is dating a racist, not a rapist, a racist, a racist. Sorry about that.

Very important. Yeah, quite an episode. A lot of fun to talk about. Yes. A certain character takes a buckshot in the chest and is no longer with us. Oh, that is true. All that is true. All that and more, folks.

Patreon.com slash we hate movies, but that's going to do it for this edition of on-screen live. Until next week, I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Siddick. Eric Sisker. Chris Cabin. Have a good week, folks. Bye-bye. I don't know.