We Hate Movies - S14: The Nexus #84 - "The Best of Both Worlds" (Parts 1 & 2)

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Originally released on Patreon, August 18, 2023 On this month's very special edition of our Star Trek re-cap show, The Nexus, the gang is talking about TNG's "The Best of Both Worlds!"  The first part aired June 16, 1990 as the finale of the third season, and the season four premiere, part two, aired September 22, 1990. This is of course the fabulous in-series movie-feeling two-parter where Picard is captured and assimilated by the Borg! How much does Riker super-hate that Commander Shelby? Lotta laughs at Wesley getting shut down at the poker game, no? Isn't it just incredible seeing the Whoopster here? How cool is Riker's blackout line for part one? And any time you get to see that Battle Bridge on this show, you know you're in for a good time! PLUS: Tons of moments of Worf and Data just ICING Borg left and right!  The Nexus is a WHM podcast where the guys futilely go through two Star Trek series at the same time. Thank you so much for continuing to support this weird thing we do—we couldn't do it without you! We know you have lots of options for podz and we're super-stoked you chose to spend some time with us—thanks again! Thank you for checking out this WHM Patreon Unlock! If you like what you heard and want to explore The Nexus further, this show drops on a monthly basis, available to subscribers at the $8 and $10 levels! There are currently 95 episode of The Nexus—that's a lotta Trek! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

I'm going to be able to be. step into the nexus with us loyal patreon subscribers because this is the august edition of our star track recap show my name is andrewitt and i'm alongside three fellow assimilated borg we have stephen saydak i am shadak of borg bha bha robot boys Chris Gavin. Doesn't it have to be like, say, Dukas or something like that? Yeah, yeah. It can't just be your name, Steve.

Yeah, he would be dukius. Yeah, look, I'm trying to give it, but also, hello, everybody. And Eric Siska. Hi, I'm also Borg, and you can tell because my one arm is, like, five feet longer than the other arm. That's going to go away in a second, don't worry about it. I'll need some extra spitty things on this arm. Ooh, a couple of doohickeys on my arm.

Oh, it's just getting hot to the other. this bog cube. Thank goodness I have this fan on my fist. I have a fork and a spoon and a knife I can just eat with one hand now. I'm a walking Swiss Army knife. Swiss Army man, I have flatulence.

Yes, of course. This is a very special episode of the Nexus. We are bypassing TOS to talk about the two parts of the best of both worlds, the first part of which was season 3, episode 26, original air date June the 16th, 1990, and we'll say Both of these parts here are indeed written by Michael Piller and magnificently, I will say, directed by Cliff Bull. Also magnificent writing. This is some of my favorite Star Trek of all time. I'll get this out of the way.

It is great. I mean, this was actually the first, these two episodes is the first TNG episodes I ever saw. Wow. Because I had no access to TNG growing up for whatever reason, even though I had, my parents had a satellite dish. We didn't have local networks. For some reason, we never had like UPN or WB or any of that. Yeah. So I just couldn't see it, but I went and saw all the movies in the theater. So I saw First Contact and I tracked this down. Oh, how did you do that back in 1990? You get it on tape or 96 or whenever that movie? I always remembered that these existed. And then once I once Torrance existed. Oh, I so it wasn't like you left the theater seeing First Contact and found these episodes. I was enamored by the Borg and I eventually tracked it down. These were my interesting.

introduction to the show as a show. So, but it was an actual torrent. You weren't like going to a message board and getting a mailed tape from Artemis Frog 69. I didn't get into many Chris Cabin-esque adventures. Hey, hey, look, it was, there was a lot to be found out there. You're doing that? You're doing the little tape tray, a little male, little male boy?

No, I never got that far. Not got far into that. I think that time passed me by. I think I got in right after that it was a thing. Oh, actually, I have audio of Chris Cabin at one of those very moments. right here. Need to know star, R&Pick. I, you know, I didn't watch this show.

Like, I definitely want, you know, I did watch this as a kid, but I watched it mostly in syndication. Like, I probably watched, like, the last, like, two seasons, maybe, maybe three in sequence. But this is a little early for me. So I definitely kind of just caught this. And I was like, holy shit. But, like, I knew what was going on

because they would, you know, and get so referenced later on. it was kind of cool whenever I caught these for the first time being like oh this is that this is the cool fucking double double feature thing

right and you know it's kind of interesting because like some there's a lot of two parters on TNG DS9 and Voyager did it too like and a lot of them just feel like like even we just did or maybe I just watched it

I don't really remember all the stuff with when Sarac returns and then you've got that's yeah it is later in the series I float around on TNG like late at night sometimes so I did rewatch the the whole Sarac and Spock thing a while back

and like that kind of just feels like a long episode of TV like which is fine it's awesome this feels like a TNG movie while the show is still on the air which is kind of cool it really does it's moving so fast it's like there's not a lot of room for other bullshit

well what's interesting is what I was reading about was a lot of this kind of came on they wanted to end on a cliffhanger for a lot of reasons a for the excitement and B because a lot of people had like contracts up and they didn't know who was coming back specifically even

what do you call it there? Patrick Stewart they're like maybe that's it maybe that's the end of any and you think at the end of this episode is like Mr. Warf fire and I guess if he just said fuck this shit man they would be like oh wow he blew him up holy shit he blowed up

exactly right dude exactly right this was his escape plan if he did not you know choose to come back and like they set it up accordingly you already have like your new captain in place yes yada that is funny like you know like the whole like thinking about the sag strike now it's just like well you know if you don't you don't know if you don't know if you don't come down maybe you're just a dead computer i i still do think they should be thanking their lucky stars that he came back because as much as much as i love william freaks i i need my pets too i need i need him he's the star power

here, baby. Yeah, and I think like everybody kind of knew that, you know what I mean, but it's... We're at his whim. We can't get rid of him! Well, that, but also, I don't know, kind of like, you think Mr. Shakespeare's going to stick around too much longer, or what? Exactly. But, yeah, so we start off,

the Enterprise is investigating a far off in Federation Space Colony that has gone out of communique and we get a classic, this is a classic away team. combo right here. Riker, Jordi, Worf, and Data. Oh, yeah, fucking dream team gets down there.

And when they get down there, it's kind of like a TOS away mission. That's like, Jim Boy, there's nothing here. It's almost like they sucked all the money out of a budget. A money vacuum came down. Oh, great. Here comes another Batman character, painted

two colors. Oh, hi there. Oh, hello, Oswald. Oh, whatever you're going to be this week. are the rocks gonna shake a little bit of the very heavy rock's gonna shake behind me they do I like this opening though because it does remind me

a lot of the thing when they find that the hole the crad yeah the crater there because they do they find they go down they go to New Providence colony and there's a huge fucking crater where the colony was supposed to be 900 souls yeah no longer there

I love a good exploring a crevasse oh yeah oh yeah dude it's funny it's eerie as hell the map painting's awesome and it's on the the heels of riker giving it to o'brien because like they beam down and like yeah we hear all the stats of like how many people are supposed to be around or whatever and riker's like uh chief o'brien i asked you to beam us right to the center of the population where the fuck are we and like oh brian has to be like um them's the coordinates buddy uh you're supposed to be in the Center in town, man. I'm not seeing a cheese shop.

I'm not seeing an apple beans. No remnants of society whatsoever. They beamed down. Motherfucking, that potato wheat. O'Brien! O'Brien! Heard the potato part, sir. I'm going to reconstitute you. Three inches sharder now.

I don't appreciate the James Joyce comment either. You can keep those thoughts. to yourself wow it seems like they're rowing uh but it is a it is a really awesome cold open because it's just it's that quick you're supposed to be in the center of town and you look at this awesome map painting of a huge fucking hole in the ground and you know something's up also like don't be me down to times square you know what i'm saying yeah right really nice little outskirts maybe right would be nice hell's kitchen that's that's that you know kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen that's right

so yeah we get the the captain's log yes 900 souls fucking gone and uh we got this admiral here uh telling them yeah so we kind of knew the borgs been on their way for like a year now

sorry we didn't say anything sooner did you guys look up this actor i did yes the dude playing admiral hanson yes played god in star Trick 5 and Testicoff in Seinfeld. Yes, and that dude is, he's one of, Chris Cabin will appreciate this, he's one of the elders on the X-Files.

Hell yes. Your Americans are only sneaking around, you're running from something. That's nice. That's nice. Always with the sneakers. But yeah, so we do meet Admiral Hanson here. I can't remember if he's been on the show before, but this is where we meet Commander Shelby,

who is from Starfleet Tactical played by Elizabeth Denehy who is indeed the daughter of the late great Brian Denehy. Thankfully for her doesn't look much like her father. No, she does not. She's not a seven foot lumbering beast of a man.

That's a tough. I mean, you know, like a standard joke about oh, got to meet the dad. You got to go down and meet the dad and it's Brian fucking Dennyhe. No thanks. You know what, Liz? You can get a cheeseburger with somebody else.

Well, that's how you know, could trust her because she's had to live under his roof and like talk back to him once or twice. Oh yeah. Yeah. So you know she can handle herself in any situation. That's fair. Yeah. I think I would just be eyes down in a Dennyi household. Oh yeah. Exactly. I'm sorry. I shouldn't I shouldn't have had the first slice of pizza. You're right. I shouldn't have done that. You're just like walking around your house. You know, growing up or whatever. And then suddenly the hand as big as a wall just hits you in the back. It smacks you in the back of the head. Dude, if Brian Demahey, he ever is, said to me the words, where do you think you're going? I'd fucking turn to dust immediately.

To the pants, to the pants store, to get new pants, because I have piss and shit all over mine. I am sorry about that. And he's going to hit you for that, too. Also, I'm going to be a cycle. It's a perpetual cycle. I'm going to just keep on having to get new pants. We will, uh, Liz Denny, he's, uh, biography, autobiography is that. We're not sure of, uh, Brian Denny he'd hit anybody, but, you know. I hope not. There's going to be clear where we're having a little... All accounts was that he was a gentle giant of soul. He's going to hit me from the grave.

Yeah, I hope he fucking does. I hope he comes to you in a dream tonight and smacks the shit out of you. God, if I could open like a plane of existence in the dream world to Brian Dennyhy. I'll accept it even if I get bruised. She's smart because this character, Shelby, because she's like, you know what? There's that... We got this crazy report from the Enterprise. One of the many crazy reports from the enterprise where they got beamed 100 years 100 light years away and faced this unstoppable enemy my new thing is i'm going to be the lady that's obsessed with the board you know what i mean

that that is going to get you really good promotions because it's like you're you're on the forefront of like you know star trek tactical tech you know issues and enemies nemesies and it's also like well you know not a lot of people know about them yeah they're seven feet tall like elevate your platform. I mean, also think about the time. I mean, like, we're not, I don't think, well, I guess it might have just came out. Like, Clarice Starling. Like, where do you go?

You go to serial killers. Where do you go? You go to the Borg. That's where all the attention is right now. It is great. This guy, so basically, you know, she's like, we have these weapons, but they're actually not quite ready yet. I'm, you know, a genius about the Borg, so I'm going to stay on your ship.

And the Admiral's, like, she's great with the Borg. So you just have her on for a couple days. She leaves with Riker. They have like kind of a, you can tell already they're chafing a touch. Oh, yeah. This guy, I think, because him and Picard are friends, and Picard's like, oh, you're quite taken with Admer Hansen. And then he goes, oh, just another old man's fantasies.

I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? Dusty boners in the office. Here's what, here's exactly what that means, as far as I understand it. What he's telling his old pal Jean-Luc is the following. Yes, I've jerked off thinking about this woman, but no, I would never, ever think to make a move IRL. And me coming from Picard's point of view, cut that shit out, man!

I don't want to hear about your boner fantasies. Just keep them away from me. God damn it, Hansen. Old man's fantasies. I'm like, come on, guys. Meanwhile, I'm going to fantasize about my crew doctor and her in the Victorian era. Her working in a coal factory of some kind.

Oh, and I'm, of course, the stodgy land baron. Having to take off four different knots just to see her brazier. It was so much sexier back then. By the way, I love the admiral. His uniform has that, like, deep, deep V. It's almost like, I'm wearing a tie. something yes it is a cool admiral design like you know you don't see a ton of like admirals on

the show but when they pop up they always do a little something to make them look a little better dress than the captains i think yeah but his thing is like so uh what the fuck is go is like and she should be you know she'd you know not to be whatever but she'd be a great first officer of music oh no dude i'm pretty set at that position you see that big guy over there i call him number one we get each other man uh but yeah so the the the admiral's like oh so i guess he didn't tell you but we offered him the chair for the melbourne uh that's awkward and Picard's like uh no i totally i would love that obviously if you like fake the funk for a second all right the Melbourne yes will told me all about it i mean just to be clear it is

piece of shit. We all know it. Come on. It's a real lemon of a starship at this point. It's the only ship I think. Let me read this. Is that I read this correctly? Three bathrooms.

One ship. Three bathrooms. It's also, it's named after Australia. You want my protege to be on Australian ship. Are you fucking serious? We're a little class out of the neutral zone? Oh my God. It's just a fucking crew entirely made up of Australian people.

I would turn that down immediately. but so yeah this dude also dropped some knowledge that this is the third time that they've offered Riker the captain ship and he's turned it down and the dude is basically like look I'm not going to keep coming back

there's a bunch of other commanders rising up the ranks behind him that are awesome including fucking Shelby who will be a captain in her own time so like maybe you want to have a little word to your fellow there always got a bit of yellow belly does he Jean-Luc, I don't usually share these kinds of,

but during his last interview for a captain position, he did refer to you at one point as Daddy Picard. And I don't know what to make of that. I'm still, you know, I'm dealing with my own feelings about hearing that. Yes, I regret spanking him that first time. He disobeyed me. As you should, as you should, John. But so we get to a little poker game here that Shelby is playing.

And this is kind of awesome because it is everybody dumping on Wesley Crusher. Of course. Oh, it's so great. He's like, fuck. He's like, oh, Mr. Data, it appears that you've got, you know, whatever. And Data is just like, hey, Ensign Crusher, as the lowest ranking and new person at the table, shut the fuck up about it. Hey, new fish, keep your mouth shut. It's so awesome.

And then like Wesley, you know, he's going up against Riker. And, you know, it's like, oh, does Riker have the flush? Is he bluffing, whatever? And Wesley folds and Jordy's like, damn, kid, you are a fucking piece of shit at playing this game. Oh, yeah, I want more of this. I want Riker to be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to pour myself a nice glass of beer. How about a nice glass of milk for you, Wesley? Oh, yeah.

That's milk for you. Everyone gets Romulan ale, but you, fuckface. Hey, let's all talk about our first sexual experience. It's, oh, you can't do that. Yeah, you know, it's funny. You're the only one that still lives in their mom's house, technically. Oh, well, I mean, we could talk about sexual, you know, times and all that. Well, let's talk about your hands there, Wesley.

How your hands are you keeping them moisturized? They're going to get hairy if you keep doing that. Yeah, go ahead. No, no. I'm going to light up this cigar. Why don't you light up a nothing, you little twerp? Here's a candy cigarette for you, kid. Oh, my Lord.

Shelby, out, you know, outbids him. he's he's bluffing and she could tell like that pisses riker off she's just getting under riker skin here and also like he's bluffing this flush she fucking wins with two pair yeah um wesley would have won wesley would have won that's right he had three jacks coward uh so yeah so he's pissed off about that and then so it's like all right there's going to be an away mission at dawn uh you know we'll see you there and Reiker goes to beam down with Wharf and he's in the fucking transporter room and O'Brien's like, oh yeah, Shelby beamed down

with data like an hour ago and this dude's seeing red. He's seeing fucking red. And I got to say, what's awesome about these two episodes among many things is Jonathan Frake's like pissed off face is incredible. And this dude's mad for the entire 90 minutes.

What's interesting about this episode this very rarely comes up in this show is like yes obviously like these people if they are the best of the best they would be continuously being poached for better positions like that would happen in all I mean in all workplace sitcoms like you don't work in the same place for seven to ten years

at the exact same position you know what I mean eventually you would like a promotion and or you wind up leaving for a promotion for somewhere else especially in a future military-esque situation that is all about like how quickly you move up where do you stay these like

these things matter in these situations and like a guy like Riker yeah it's weird that you haven't it is daddy Picard like I mean that is it kind of is at the end of the day but like you wonder why he wouldn't take it at least for a day or two well because I think the other thing too though is like

he's kind of just waiting for Picard to retire killed and then it's like then I'll have the flagship of the fleet yeah it's about the I guess it is about the ship ultimately well yeah it's your you know do you want to do you want to be the uh do you want to be scotty pippin at the chicago bulls or somebody like uh like

the worst person or de kebby betumbo the denver nuggets you know what i mean you put up good numbers but nobody gives a shit you know what i mean like it's your team congratulations but i don't want to leave the enterprise i mean we're the only ship in the fleet that constantly has this camera crew following us everywhere i i don't know why riker took uh turned down the captain's position on our newest ship, the Newark. The Newark. Oh, with apologies to New Jersey. So, yeah, so Riker, like, kind of choose her out for leaving early.

She's got some bullshit excuse about the weather, whatever, but she does confirm. She's like, look, took some soil samples, can confirm. This was the Borg. So we do have a little Picard, like getting the update from Riker about this or whatever. and then Picard being like, so, Mr. Reiker, do you think about old Shelby there? What do you think about the shelbster, as I've taken to calling her?

And they have this nice, like, you know, she's brash, takes chances, blah, blah, blah. Oh, much like a young lieutenant commander was when I promoted him to my first officer. Before your balls went missing on this ship somewhere. You think you'd grow that beard? you'd be a tough guy, but you're not. She just walks in there

and she walks all over you, man. I've been watching it. You just, I do think part of it is because when they first, like, Shelby and Riker meet, it's in, like, her quarters that he shows her there. And I do kind of think, like, in almost any other situation, you have a female commander, a female captain, any kind of character in a room with Riker,

they're fawning over him in some way. And, like, this was the first. one where that was not it at all like yeah that's it's good a number one but you kind of get that part of that is probably what's pissing riker off i kind of think is definitely but i mean i think you're totally right but also

like you gotta you know will riker you got to look couple moves ahead here right like this lady would just as soon bang a borg then bang you dude and that's just a little too crazy even for riker well that's i don't think they're pushing enough

to find out really because like what does she say it's like foot like traces or something like what it does she doesn't even really explain what it is they oh there's like trace minerals that in the in the soil that point to the borg or whatever yeah but the idea of fucking a board chris do you think they have like uh like little vibrators and rabbits on their hands and sure i mean they can probably get those added on for sure but i think it's much like the r2d2 you know with the ship his his girlfriend the ship right i think it's mostly like that they're just fucking the cube Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, they don't have to, like, reproduce biologically, which is great. You don't have to worry about wrapping it up. That's cool, like, you can just, like, stab a guy and put a fucking gogg on his head. That's your reproduction. I could do that. Raising a child, not so much. Yes. Well, I do think that, like, this episode or the next episode, rather, does confirm that, like, these guys are just wearing pants.

You know what I mean? Like, you think that they're, like, full, no, these are just, oh, it's mostly an outfit, honestly. They like to walk and talk tough, but it's mostly pants. I mean, and you think you've got to know that those things are disintegrating over time. At some point, they are just going to be naked. And I kept telling the man, pants are futile. I'm taking them off anyway. We still got those bio bits, if you know what I'm saying.

So we're in engineering. We're doing that little bit of a brainstorming ses here. We got Shelby with Jordi, Wes, and Data talking about, you know, can we, modify this or that, we don't have time to modify the weapons to fight the Borg or whatever, and they kind of reach a little bit of a stopping point here. Jordy or Wesley, someone

has the first, I think as Wesley goes, like, my brain feels like clay, and I was like, oh God, that's a fucking horrendous image. And Riker, it's awesome. Riker's like, all right, everybody, it's time for bed. I say we all go, get a good night's sleep and then

good old Shelby's like, well, actually, Commander, with your permission, I'd like to stay up, and keep working with Lieutenant Commander Data. She brings up a couple times how Data doesn't have to sleep. I'm like, you're exploiting this robot, dude. He's got other science experiments to do. I mean, to be fair, this is Riker's problem. He gave her Coca-Cola at APM.

Oh, yeah. Look, right after a pizza party, that's not smart. Data doesn't need to sleep, but he can just relax on the couch a little bit, binge. I'm sure he binges occasionally. I was in the middle of season six of everybody. loves Raymond. And if you can believe it this week, Raymond is

dealing with his parents. Captain, it's illogical that he would live right next to his parents if they argue so much. Well, yeah, Dana, that's the fucking show man. It wouldn't be a fucking show if they didn't live next to Oh, God, you don't understand anything. Then we wouldn't have Peter Boyle. Why

am I watching the show if I'm not watching it for Peter fucking Boyle? So, yeah, we find out here that there is a this is Admiral Hanson comes back and he's informing them of the USS Lalo made contact with the Borg and like

the ship like after saying hey we've made contact with the Borg has not been heard from since and right around here is where I noticed it man because there's so much eerie and mystery about this episode we get the eerie and mysterious score yes that TNG

you know gets out every once in a while and this music is so awesome that's great Well, because I mean, much like the last episode with the Borg, the first episode with the Borg, rather, is there's that thing about the Borg, which is like, you are not prepared for these dudes. Like, you are just nowhere near able to even fucking put a hit on these guys, and it's freaky-dinky to have that kind of an enemy, you know? You know, last time I said, Q, come on and help me already, and I can't say it again. I can't beg him twice. That'd be funny if he just did it like, Q, come on. That's what I would do.

I'd be like, where's my omnipotent fellow? Come on. There's not going to be any more human experiments if I'm a fucking borg, man. I'll let you put it in my butt. Okay, what would he, what would he respond? Q is the greatest being that's ever been. Come on, you prick. Come on.

Oh, I got a better idea. Oh, better idea. Q couldn't get me out of this jam, right? Not even Q could do it. It would be awesome. if like they just like got Delancey for a fucking two second cameo and he pops in. He's just like, nice try Picard and just blasts away. He's in a Hawaiian shirt with a suitcase.

Definitely. I'm on vacation. He's dressed like exactly the genie at the end of a land. He's got the goofy hat on. So, you know, Picard, this is more of this like Picard, the nervousness, you know, him like wandering the bridge right here is kind of awesome. Like he's just totally shitting his pants and this is where we get, you know, Wharf is like, oh there's a ship really hauling ass

you know to intercept us here. We get it on screen. It's the Borg Cube. Amazing music swell when Picard goes, you know, contact Starfleet. Let them know we have engaged the Borg. Awesome. We've engaged the Borg. We haven't set up our wedding registries.

So wait on that but save the date. a bunch of pictures of us in a field with a lot of dead leaves. You know, it's fall. It's quite beautiful. Yes, that is the vacuum we want from Target. Thank you. Oh, no, yes. And we hired the Borg's sister-in-law to take the pictures, of course. She's very good. She knows Magic Hour and all that stuff. Her whole head is a camera.

And yes, Data, you can DJ. Oh, yeah, he'd knock up some of those bridesmaids, right? yes data knocking someone up i don't know about that but like let's say like so i know like the board queen him and they got it on right let's not let's not she gave him that she gave him that forearm job in the yeah right but like if he shot his computer stuff and her would like maybe a little computer come out of her somewhere it's possible eric but like whatever don't Thank you, Chris. But whatever happens, it's got to go alien resurrection style.

Please kill me. Yes, please kill me. I love that guy. It was so cute. So it's kind of awesome. Worf is like, Captain, they're hailing you. And he's like, what hailing me? Yes, sir.

You have a personal phone call with the board right now. Fuck. Oh, I was busy. I'm going to the bathroom. I have to go to the bathroom. I'm in a meeting. I'm sorry, I have to comb my hair. Yes, I have hair now.

Picard, you are on screen. We can see you. This is a lieutenant commander of Warf. Can I take a message? I mean, I would... Okay, resistance is futile. Okay, got it. Repeated?

You want me to repeat that several? Okay, that's fine. And this is from the Borg. All right, that's a B, oh, is there. an umlaut above that oh no it's just borg got it surrender yourself or will destroy your ship should should a computer people be using contractions like that should they call back a manager or a supervisor or just the board okay just the borg okay am i going to need a am i going to need like a case number for him to recite back to you is there a number i can have you don't let me just put

it right through the help desk help desk how's it going oh i'll open a ticket on that oh and you're draining the shields okay i'll open a ticket on that You know what? I'm going to put you on hold. Do you want us to call you back when the slot has opened? Could you share your screen, Borg? Thank you. Oh, no. They've seen all the pornography tabs we have opened. It's amazing. When they, the hail does actually happen. The, the screen that comes up, it's like the background of, it's like a Fear Factory album cover. Yeah. Oh, God. That's so fucking ridiculously accurate. Yes, it is. And that's a map painting that they will use repeatedly

When showing the interior of the board cube Or cubes, I should say throughout the series I do love the board cube in general Just seeing that guy hang out again I love that dude It's great dude I remember in my It's still somewhere in the house But it's not on display because it's incredibly pathetic

My micro machine collection of all the ships and whatnot That I definitely have The board cube was my fucking prize piece of it all man is fucking awesome uh so yeah they're you know doing the whole uh you know demanding the enterprise surrender immediately jordy tries to like recalibrate some weapons so they can fight them it doesn't work and these motherfuckers start we are told and this is a weird thing to hear it said on star trek cutting into the hole into the hall like a band saw or something they do say specifically he needs to surrender himself and they're like well what is that what

what what why are you so obsessed with me bad oh that's kind of sad dude I'm just a guy I'm gonna be honest with you this is high this is pick me behavior I I'll be I it's very disgusting you know mr. waft muted for a second aren't these guys lame I know we don't have money anymore but rent free and this guy's yeah wow a bunch of fucking try-hards over here man I don't know dude when he takes that shirt off I understand why no that's true yeah you can be our king yeah I'll put a little whizzy fan on that guy's hand. Yeah, so we are told

wildly after that, the attack by the Borg, 11 dead and 8 missing due to this hall breach. I could use a body or something like that. A bird's a body like floating by the view screen. Right, yeah. Absolutely. Put the windshield wipers on

Jordan. Just do, do, dude. Oh, red. I can't see anything. All these bodies are here. You know what, Data, please. wish, whoosh, let's go. I will say, you know, special effects technology has become so much cheaper that, you know,

we have seen people like sucked out of things here and there in like some of the Trek movies, I believe, but like there was one that just happened on Strange New Worlds a couple weeks ago and I was like, holy fuck, those people are dead. It looked awesome. This August, I got to get on that. You got to do it, dude.

I got to stop fucking, you know. it's 10 episode seasons you're in and you're out so Picard gives there's a great thing where he's trying to like get closer to the screen and Shelby's like

standing behind data where he would normally stand and Patrick Stewart amazing actor like doesn't you know they didn't even have to have Picard say anything he just goes up to this lady

and kind of puts her arm like his hand on her shoulder just like it gives her real like get the fuck away from where I stand come on shelbster move over if i can touch you you're too close okay there's a bubble bubble around the captain but she does have some good ideas something something if you rotate the frequency you'll be able to use it more often different for the debt for the rays for phasers and everything like that like the shields as well she she like goes up i think directly

to wesley and tells them to do that and like you know right after that riker's hands are right around her neck and just being like, you think this is a game? You don't take Wesley away from me. I'm the only one who'd be able to yell at him. All right, look, only I can treat him like shit, okay? Exactly. Well, all right, me, Jordy, Picard definitely, Worf gets in on it sometimes, data to, yeah, his mom,

when he doesn't clean his quarters, but you can't. You should really listen to what this kid says sometimes. It's, uh, you, you need a, you need a, army to fucking keep this kid in check. Social skills, abysmal, but he's a genius, and it's very frustrating. Did we talk about the great line of this episode? What the hell are you still doing here?

Oh, that's, yeah, that's a while back when they're having the discussion about why Will has not accepted promotion. Yeah, what the hell are you still doing here? I really, I mean, I thought, I kept docking your pair. I figured you'd quit. I kept, I gave you fewer hours.

as each week, man. I mean, if Picard says that, you kind of do have to leave. Yes, you do. I don't know how you stay after you. So the guy says something like that to you. I guess, you know, you save him from being a borg. I guess all bets are off. Yeah, for sure.

But, like, I would still be like, you know what? I'm going to get on the Newark. I'm going to get on the Albany. I'm going to get on the Melbourne. I do appreciate the Troy, whatever, seen with him at 10 forward. Oh, yeah. Where she's just like, you know, like, what do you actually, want, you know, you see much more yourself

now, you're confident, like, you're happy here, like, don't, what, what, who says you got to be captain of who gives this shit? You know what I mean? Exactly. It's a cool little scene. I like that a lot. Yeah, no, it is a nice moment. It's one of those great, like, we're just being Deanna and Will talking to each

other. And also, by the way, nobody gets paid. There's no money. Like, it's just, it's the same shit. You can go to the replicator, get whatever you want. I will say after. And it's Less hours. I would say after Troy tells Riker that he can't be on the away team.

Oh, yeah. Then that happens. I do if I like that Troy and Riker have this situation where they can talk. But after that, after I say yes to that, I'd be like, we have to talk about what our relationship is. This is getting really weird that we're this close and I'm now listening to you even though I'm in charge. Like it's, I found out a little striking that moment. Yeah. So, yeah, they decided to hide in this nebula for a little bit where the cube won't be able to track them down.

Classic Star Trek move. Classic Star Trek move. Let's go hide in the cloud for a bit. A pocket behind the cloud over there. They won't find us in the cloud. Specifically so in like four episodes of the latest season of Picard, we're fucking around in a big far cloud. Absolutely. Does that cloud have bisexual lighting like this does?

No, it has a life form that gets birthed inside it, though, which is pretty. pretty cool. Let's see bisexual do that. Oh, they do do that. Quite often it seems. Oh, really? Oh, they do all the stuff. Oh, wow. All the stuff. I do I do really

dig the design of this nebula. It's cool. It's awesome. It's like a cover of a Prague rock album or some shit. So they're hiding in there for a little bit and yeah, we're modifying the deflector dish to try to blast these fuckers out of the sky. And this is where Shelby

suggests and this again it's very much a movie thing so much so that they do it in generations and a couple times on the show but she suggests separating the saucer section from the battle part of the ship so the Borg have two targets and Riker you know strikes it down or whatever and this lady runs right to Picard oh yeah what what a move my god come on you went over his helmet twice now hey this I honestly this uh Riker I I would be ashamed. I would be getting on the Melbourne right about now. Yes.

That just happens. Because, like, yeah, she just does it. She doesn't even think twice about it. And she says specifically, like, you're in my way. Yes. She's kind of a fucking dope awesome. It's so weird that she doesn't come back as a character. She's, you know, she's a good actress.

And I think that this is a cool character. Like, seeing her, it would be kind of a cool thing that you would pick this up again. Like, maybe she's the captain of the ship and, like, next season. And, like, record's like, fuck, that looks kind of fun. You know what I mean? That's the thing, Steve, she's too powerful. You can't bring her back because then she'll take over the whole day. Can I tell you about a little something about just hearing the word Shelby over and over again?

Like, Eric, you have the Klosser thing, which is a house hunters thing. You saw on House Hunters. That's right. House Hunters International, obviously. On a different episode of Househunter's International, something, something is it was a couple that they were flying over. And I was like, you know, and the lady's just like, but the problem is the complication is, what will happen to their pets, Shelby and Mr. Jiggers. And Jen and I have been yelling about Shelby and Mr. Jiggers for years.

It's just a great turn of phrase. So every time I go, oh, and it's Shelby and your friend, Mr. Jiggers. Hello. By the way, according to IMDB, she does come back in Picard on season three, one episode as Admiral Elizabeth Shelby. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, it's entirely possible that I didn't, I didn't, I didn't put two and two together. Exactly.

Now that it makes a total, I know who she is. She's like this, she has a, yeah, she has a strong thing, but she is fighting the Borg again. It's kind of cool, but, yeah. But I did not put it together, no. Ooh, see, now another, another reason for me to rewatch that again. Very cool. So, yeah, it's a real, you're in my way. And she also says that Riker can't make the big decisions.

Yeah, dude. Oof, get fucked You can only make little decisions Yep, she's right What song do I play on the trombone tonight? It's just It's just Wham, wamp,

Over and over again With this episode at least You know, why don't you fucking Go in your room Blair on the trombone Eat some catfish gumbo, you fuck Well, while I take care of the pork What is he eating gumbo for?

I don't know, he's a big of gnaul England's big jazz man. Oh, but he's from the hills of Montana. It's true. So anyway, so there's, oh, we get the great scene. This is right where we're at with Picard and Ten Forward. And here's the whoopster as Guyin in. She has some line.

She's got this one line that's like, you know, everyone here in Ten Forward thinks that they're going to die tomorrow. Oh, she says that to Riker. Oh, sorry, sorry. It's getting away. It is great, though. just thought you should know this is the this is the fucking

what the word going around 10 forward is everyone thinks we're going to die I do have to be clear Riker it's not you know yes I'm trying to encourage you to get the spirits up but really you know when they say fucking like there's no tomorrow it's happening in 10 forward

everyone's doing it I'm used to being asked often for alien drugs I'm being asked by everybody for alien drugs now and I think they all want to just ship off right about now. I hope you'll enjoy fighting the Borg tomorrow while everyone's hung over and come drunk.

But yeah, there's some cool shit here where he's like, oh, it's a bit of a tradition. The captain touring the ship before battle. And she's like, uh, yeah, isn't that especially reserved for like no win scenarios accepting your own death? And he's like,

uh, not every time. 99 times out of 100, yes. and do I believe that that's happening? Yes, I believe we're all dead. And it's kind of awesome, too, because this is such a heavy moment, and I think, like, because it's a TV show, you kind of just, like, have the scene and move on in a lot of ways.

But, like, Picard is literally standing there. Like, with his line, you know, this is just another page in history, isn't it? He's, like, the fucking, the book of history is about to be turned. Like, Page is about to turn on, like, everything that we've built, and whatever it comes next, we will not be a part of it because we're all going to be destroyed by these people.

Like, is that the moment we're at? Like, it's such a heavy fucking thing. Like, he's touring the ship because it's like, well, it's good to be gone tomorrow. Yeah, exactly. Even, like, she's like, you know, even if a hundred or so humans survive, humanity will survive.

And he's like, that's a very small number, actually. You'll, not only will survive, but you'll come out on top. it may take a millennia or so and he's like ah yeah sounds great guinen i mean i was thinking about it if i mean we get shot that the spaceship would just be falling in space forever right like we would all die of shock but just the thing's just going to keep on going like i i can't stop thinking about that maybe i want to die guinen i don't know that's the thing i was actually thinking about when they were in the nebula is like you know often or you know i think always on

this show it's like yep we have to go straight this way or turn around or blah blah blah i'm like anybody ever think about driving down yeah what's what's going on down hundreds of miles down oh yeah they have like a tom grooves and top gun ask like fly who's like i got a new idea down that's his only trick is that he actually aims it down Resistance is just a few times What are they doing driving down I don't understand it

They're going under us How's that possible They have no regard For their own life So You know around here A big moment of course Borg start beaming aboard

Wharf just opening fire Immediately on the bridge Which is awesome And then Warf and Riker both getting tossed around by these Borg, like ragdolls. It's great. Really awesome. And then this is the, I always loved Patrick Stewart's reaction to like, whatever the

Borg is doing to the back of his head right here, because it's like, oh, got me. I should have paid attention to that zip tie on our rear, on our side mirror. It meant that was going to be human trafficked. He'll never find out. Oh, found the soft spot. There we go. But yeah, Picard kidnapped. by the Borg and vanished and then the Borg were told this is you got some awesome Dorn in

this these two episodes too he's like uh you know uh the Borg cube has set course for Taryn space earth I do love you puts in the um like the the the international area code zero zero zero one which is important that's you know that's us you know that's right we invented the telephone system so that's us did we get a new calling card from AT&T we need to put the numbers in first. Otherwise, this is costing us a fortune. But yeah, so then like it's, now it's Riker's show, man.

We got to figure it out. Absolutely. And we've got, you know, Picard over on the Borg cube. It's kind of awesome. He straight up tells them like to go fuck themselves, you know. And the Borg are like, you know what? We're going to use you as our voice, you know, our mouthpiece to basically like welcome all of our

human people that we're about to assimilate. So I'm going to be like Clippy. Oh, it looks like you're trying to take over humanity. Could I help you? Why do I keep on writing this red line under things? Why do I keep doing it? To be assimilated, just stay still. Stop typing, okay?

Now, where do you think I vanish off to when you're done with my help, huh? Do I have a house that Clippy goes to? Where do I come from? Is it made of paper clips? Is Clippy's house a paperclip house? Does he have a rich inner life? Probably not. Although, man, what I wouldn't give for at least one wisecracking Borg who'd be like,

talk shit all you want, motherfucker. I'm putting an iPad in your head and you're going to be one of me. How about that shit? You're suggesting a sassy Borg. Yes, I'm more, yeah, I guess sassy is more what I'm thinking. Yeah, I want someone to talk back a little bit to him when he's being. all proud and shit. Chris, once they get Earth,

then they can get all those attributes, right? Unlocks the sass. Oh, man. Yeah, they just watch all of like 80s action movies in the entire Fast and Furious franchise. Come dumb as shit. It would be great. Yes, yes.

Yeah. And then they self-terminate because they watched all those movies. They set up a great kind of cool thing here, which is the, they're chasing them at like 9.2 warp or whatever, like the highest warp. when they stop, if they can make them stop for even a second, they can probably blast them with this thing that Shelby thinks

is just going to be gangbusters, right, from the saucer section, which doesn't, spoiler alert for the next episode, doesn't work out. Oh, would they modify the deflector dish? Yeah, the deflector dish, yeah. So it's like that's what we're kind of waiting for, and once that happens, we can maybe send an away team. It's kind of a cool, like, a lot of tension towards like these two things. yes and so

Riker immediately just wants to he's like all right I'm leading an away team over here and this is the part Chris that you mentioned where Troy's like hey you're the captain now and you need to stay here because we're like literally at war you can't be jumping off the ship

Shelby's the one that has to go and she kind of walks by Riker like looking at Troy like thanks sis and Riker just fucking his face is as red as his uniform oh he's about to pop he's about to right there. Usually I'm the one that gets to go do stuff. I like to do stuff.

Yeah, exactly. But so they go over it's Shelby Wharf, Bev and Data checking things out. And Beverly comes up with the idea of like, she makes this like weird mosquito analogy. And she's basically like, what if we like destroyed some things to distract them? Right.

They would be annoyed enough to like stop for a second in scratch and then you can attack. Yes, exactly. poke the tender area and they might scratch is what she says so the Admiral meanwhile back on the Enterprise is communicating and he is telling them

all about what is now the very famous Wolf 359 most of the fleet's going to make a stand at Wolf 359 that's the home system of the werewolf planet of course oh man oh yes Castle

Wolfenstein I can see it from here Like Anthropia. I love it. It's a nice vacation spot. Dude, we need some fucking wolf people on Star Trek. Thank you. That's all I need. Yes. Dude, oh, how about this? You could get them in an episode where whatever crew on whatever show goes to planet Halloween town.

And it's just a planet made up of Earth Halloween obsessive. Star Trek needs to pick up this slack because the Star Wars Special Edition. moves the wolf people. No, thank you. How dare you, if anything, add them? Oh, the flak sivrack is removed in the special edition. Yeah. What did they replace him with?

Uh, your column. No, your pal, uh, God damn, what was his name? Sayloss, the marcash or whatever the fuck, the slugs smoking, the vaping slugs. Oh, right. Let me see, I'll find his name. Don't worry.

You know, we're going to find his name right now so that people don't, don't be angry. As much as I love, you know, people using drugs and Star Wars and whatnot. Me last to Sarkin. Yeah, okay. We should not be erasing werewolves from Star Wars. No, certainly not. We need to be adding more.

Oh, no. That's right. The werewolf is so silly. Let's get this smoking slug piece of shit in here. And that won't be silly at all. You see, at the time, we didn't have the technology for a smoking slot. If you look at it, it's clearly just a werewolf and an old style

Weirwolf and a space jacket Yeah and that's why it's awesome George More of that It's a werewolf wearing a coat sir It was fucking cool Look that's a werewolf that listens It looks like he listens to Italian disco That's what I want

That's what I want in my movie Yeah that werewolf's got a you know Six CD changer in his trunk All Giorgio Moroder Absolutely Absolutely So yeah we're gonna make us hand At Wolf 359

And the Enterprise you know, it's, they're not gonna, it's gonna take them a long time to get there or whatever. Meanwhile, we find this is ridiculous and this is where I was like, ooh, nude scene, because they're trying to track Picard's communicator, they find it, and like, Shelby opens this drawer and it's just his uniform

and the communicator badge, and I'm like, Nakey time. Mr. Woff, they patched me. They patched me! Oh, those dreaded borg, before they assimilated me, I got a mean swirley in the Borg bathroom. I needed to see like underwear in that drawer

they open. Oh yeah. So you had confirmation that he's hanging brain? Exactly. Yeah, they act all serious when they're hailing you, but once they turn that off, they're pranksters. And they take your pants. I was running around

the cube naked for half an hour before they assimilated me. Did you know that the Borg as a girl's Dormitory. Well, that's where they left me. I didn't even know there was a girl's dormitory in the board, but sure enough. They must have probed my mind for my most biggest nightmares. The test was due, and I had a paper due, and oh, my goodness. I was forced to watch Meatballs 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Will. Kill me. Every morning the Borg wake up to the same blast of audio through the entire ship, And it just goes, panty raid! It is, I mean, both times we raid the Borg ship, it does feel like we're sneaking over to the snooty Borg camp to steal the flag. On the other side of the lake, dude, absolutely. I don't know how to explain it, Will, but whenever I walk, there was just this faint thing of a man saying,

over any way you want it, that's the way you need it, any way you want it. Any way you won't it. And then there was a guitar lick of sorts. Oh, and then there was this, this wily, no, it wasn't a, it was a groundhog that was assimilated by the board. Oh, yes. Dude, if that little guy got assimilated by the borg, he's already a robot anyway. That'd be kind of cool.

A little dance, yeah. You're amazing. So they start taking out all of these distribution nodes. They realize these distribution nodes are the way that they collective all communicates with each other, so they start fucking those up. The Borg start waking up. And like, any time the Borg wake up on this show, I'm like, shit in my pants.

Like, oh, here we go. Here come the monsters. You get a couple of good kills. But, uh-oh, once we start doing that, they figure out how to, you know, you set your thing. And now you have a really blocky bitmap shield that you can use to stop. Dude, because they adapt to the phaser or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. Those, wow, good pull on bitmap. No problem, man. But it totally reminds me. of the shields in the lynch dune. Oh, yeah, yeah. When they're training with the shields or whatever, it's just this blocky like,

er, er, er, uh, kind of Patrick Stewart. Oh, that's right. Gurney Halleck himself. Oh, I'm gurney, this one. So while they're like wasting all of these Borg left and right, Bev recognizes Picard right there. She's got this great, like, John Luke. And this is the famous Patrick Stewart turning his head

and the laser hits the camera lens and everything. Very cool moment. No, I'm a La Cutee of Borg, La Cutee. They're trying to make him a low cutie, dude, because I laugh at this every time. The fake abs that he's got, like he's wearing a Batman Halloween costume? Yes.

It's so awesome. Like, why would they install that? They installed a bunch of bondage wear. they all watched cruising right before they got me yeah it turns out I was wearing I guess I had the wrong naked chief in my pocket

and now this is happening I had the wrong neckerchief in my pocket and all of a sudden the borg started peeing on me I had the wrong neckerchief my pocket and this borg put a fork on my hand

I was like oh great I could have been a two-hand to borg when I had the wrong neckerchief now I'm a forked hand board sign of a bitch that's how they decide you shall be improved here as your fork hand

I don't know if I had another five fingers on this thing I could do a lot more than a fork no fork your job is eating oh nice the eating board I like that

I could get that job I guess the fork is more of an R2D2-esque like module thing yeah it can fuck other computers I'm guessing Also, you probably. Probably let's like give someone a nasty scar if you really wanted.

Yeah, like you're poking people with it probably, but it might be more like a tuning fork, Steve, you know, like some sort of frequency kind of thing. But it's, it's so great because Beverly is like communicating over to the Enterprise and she's like, the captain's been altered and Riker's like altered and Worf, who is so disgusted about this. He just goes, he is a Borg. And I'm about to throw up. I think if it was Wharf all on, he might have just killed him right there. Oh, he's better. It's better this way. He did run at him and there was a force field or whatever. Oh, yes. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, but there actually, Worf says that line when they're back on the bridge or whatever. And Riker's like, all right, fuck it. Get ready to blow up this cube. Look cute as hails, you know, and he's like, these are some great lines here. Like, your life as it has been is over. Pretty cool. and this is one of the greatest camera movements in all of Star Trek

you know we have this you know Picard or Locutus is like you will service us blah blah blah resistance yada and the camera

is on Jonathan Frakes but it swoops around to get him head on for him to just say Mr. Wharf fire hell of a fucking

cliffhanger yeah and people have to wait a whole summer or something months for three months because you know there's I feel like there's no reason to have our usual break in the show we can go right into part two which aired yes November the 22nd or excuse me September the 22nd 1990 so yeah this was it was a classic like cliffhanger we don't have the internet you know we don't have the ability to rewatch the entire season over again none of that yeah and they don't even have I mean they didn't write the episode before it's not like sitting around nobody knew what was going to happen again

for the contract negotiations but I think that's sort of interesting also from the because this thing like the ending is like Riker is like Mr. War fire you're like oh shit and then it's like oh that did nothing I've been waiting two months and then like see if we had the internet and all that

during this time Reddit would have been a flutter suddenly they'd be changing the script and suddenly Shelby saying I'm actually Shelby Picard at the end oh I thought you smelled familiar and of course your your sidekick mr jiggers has joined you and yes we took out mr jigger's teeth it made some it made some nerds uncomfortable

i still can't believe they came to that shit and it looked weird though release the teeth cut yes release the teeth definitely need a reason to watch that again teeth teeth Teeth, teeth. Whatever, that first movie's fun. So, yes, we started Mr. Warf Fire, exactly where we left off. And yes, the whole deflector weapon idea does absolutely nothing. And it's actually like, they wind up giving a reason besides like, oh, that didn't work. Because Rikers, like, oh, well, this makes sense.

They have Picard. They have all of his knowledge, his years of experience. He would come up with that idea, too. Still, I would bust Shelby down to Ensign. But this is, and also, that scene is so great when she, when she gets promoted it to commander. You know, Wharf is just like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. That deflector shit thing was a joke. A total joke.

Promoted a first officer, yeah. I feel like, how the fuck long have I been? You know, I know we're in the middle of war. I'm putting it for a transfer right now. Even data, the fucking computer looks at Worf, like, what the fuck is they were being passed over? I think like Windows 3.1 looked over and said, what the fuck's happening? Warf's like, it's a walkout. It's a walk out. Where are you going to walk? Okay, Warf, where are you going to walk?

If you got to look at Warf's palms during that scene, you would see them bleeding from the fucking Klingon fingernails just crushing into his own hands. I do like Riker's explanation. I guess it makes sense. Like, well, we don't need to be changing positions right now, kind of in the middle of something. It's always some reason. It's always some reason. Thank you, Will. Thank you for the bullshit explanation. Thank you.

Yeah, you know, I know. Yeah, I guess Selby's ancestors didn't kill Captain Kirk's son. I understand that. No, it's totally understandable. That's what we're talking about, right? That's what we're talking about. It's what we're talking about.

It is funny, though, because, I mean, like, Rikers' shit does make sense here. It's like, I need expertise at all of these senior positions, and now is not the time to be doing. him that. We do get, um, there is a hilarious, like, when it doesn't work, and Picard or Locutus is like, your resistance is hopeless. And then, like, he, this is like, the most, like, catty bitch Lucutus ever becomes. He's just like, number one. Oh, yeah, dude.

You fucking big idiot. I know you're a dumb nickname. Oh, you get a little bono when I said that, but now I am Locutish and I don't give a shit. I mean, if he calls him Will, that would really hit him home, I think. That would really hurt him. I am locutus of Borg. Where's your trombone, dumbass? Oh, man. Hit him where it hurts. Where's Troy at, huh? Is she on a date? Yep. Or if he's just really goes crazy. Oh, I am La Coutish of Borg. Let me compare you to a summer's day. Oh, actually, yeah, no, that shit's over with. No more Shakespeare. We're not doing it. I'm a fucking robot now, and I hate Shakespeare. That's why I now love

David Mammett plays. Nothing but. American Buffalo. Top to bottom. It's my favorite play. This fucking meeting after this fucks up, like when it's

when it's J.B. Hansen going and being like, we're not giving, you know, Jean-Luc Picard, I once watched a young runner. Young runner, like, win a marathon against, he's a freshman, and he won against, like, all the upperclassmen.

The Academy Marathon, yeah. He was the first freshman to do it, and he's like, and for those reasons, he did not assist the board. Yes. What the fuck? Are you insane? Well, no, it's like, no, he's dead. And like, whatever happens now, that's Lucutus.

Yes, that's the point that he's trying to make to Shelby, because Shelby's like, he's helping him out now. Shelby's drawn up the court martial. Yeah, exactly. And so he's like, as far as, you know, as for Picard, a great man has been lost a great runner a fantastic runner we've all we all miss him

just like the statue is like runner captain poet it's like yeah it was like runner the admiral was way insisted about the running oh yeah well because it's with his fucking fake artificial heart dude he gets that 26.2 like nothing

bingo bingo artificial heart that's why he's targeted by the borg this guy's like a fucking cyborg already come on I also, after that meeting, Worf goes up to record, you hear all that shit she was talking about Captain Picard? You sure that's what you want and the number one? I mean, if I was number one,

I mean, you know me, the captain went way back, and I would always speak of his name with great respect. I'm just saying, Captain, it's rude. Oh, no, I'm sorry, but it would be a shake-up. You're right. It would be a shake-up, and that would be tough. It would be really top. I mean, you know, I'm only at that console, like,

four hours a day, guys that are just as good at me at that console. Well, I mean, they're ready to be at that console during senior meetings. At least, I mean, you can say, you know, I should, I should be, I should show some humility. At least the deflector shield thing worked. At least that worked. And then, you know, and that gives her some credit. That gives her some credit that it worked and we no longer have a problem.

What do I know? I was only here the only time the Federation encountered the Borg and she, like, read about it in the newspaper. who's the expert Oh yeah And commander I bet you are captain now Excuse me But I guess you weren't ready for this

Kling on sarcasm It's real and it's intense You got some fucking teeth on it sir But yeah So we have that meeting Shelby is made First Officer Yeah the look between

Dorn and Spiner's fucking hilarious And then And so we're trying to come up with ideas. Bev suggests a kind of a cool thing. Like, let's get some nanobots in there and fuck him up. And Riker's like, wow, that sounds really awesome. How fast can you do that? And she's like, oh, well, it would take six or eight weeks.

And, like, he doesn't say it, but I wish he'd turn around and be like, then why bothers suggesting it? No, Troy gets a little nasty here. She's like, in six or eight weeks old, it'll be left of us are those stupid fucking nanobots. You're right, you're right. But at the same time. What a dumb idea. And I'm usually the nice one. What a dumb fucking idea.

Literally, humanity is hanging on by a thread. And you're talking about six fucking weeks, Beverly. It's a good idea for the future, at least. They should be throwing some little robots and stuff in the future. No, maybe that, now that Picard is gone, maybe his girlfriend should go too. I'm just saying what we're all thinking. I'm just saying it. Oh, dude, that would be great.

They all just start sniping at each other. totally there's going to be some some staffing changes around here now that my boyfriend is captain oh yeah exactly oh that's right yes she goes I was like you know your boyfriend is dead and my boyfriend is captain yeah you know it's like uh I would love to hear her be that vicious she goes old lady Macbeth I like yeah yeah dude yeah it would be like uh what's it is it uh Laura Linney at the end of Mystic River like she's got her arms around Reicher just like, you see all that out there? That's all yours now. And you're the fucking king of it all. You understand me? It's okay that you kill children. You understand that?

It's okay to kill kids if you do the good thing. You understand that? But yes, so it's kind of a good little reaction here from Denehy as she's leaving the meeting. She shows in her face that Shelby is clearly kind of nervous about this promotion, which is great. There's a great, I like Riker in Picard's Ready Room asking the empty chair. Like, what would you do about this? Very Clint Eastwood of him, I have to say. And one of the things he does say to her is like, you know, you can, I love that you keep me on my toes and you're ready to tell me that I'm fucking up every time.

Right. Yeah, you're fucking up right now. Oh, you want to hear it? Oh, you want to hear it? You're fucking up right now. Right now you're fucking up. What you just did back there? Fucking up.

What you're doing right now? Fucking up. What you're probably going to do in 10 minutes. Hey, let me take a wild cling on guests. Fuck it up. This is more of that cling on sarcasm. Eat my ass. And don't worry.

I'm writing all this down. I've got it all. I've got it itemized. I got the time and date, baby. Your ass is grass raker. It's all I'm saying. Yeah, it is great, though. So she's like, you know,

Guyton comes in here. And I love how he's pretty tired of it immediately. He's like, listen, I don't know what you had with the last guy, but this is not happening on my watch, you know what I mean? Especially sitting in my fucking chair. Which is a great move by the whoopster. But, you know, it's kind of a nice moment. She's like, you have to let go of Picard.

You know, he's been my fucking ride or die for as long as possible, but I've accepted that he's gone. She mentions that they had a connection beyond friendship, beyond family. So you know what that means. Oh, definitely. And you're a little fucking pervert mind? Yeah, I know exactly. I mean, I think that that means they fucked for sure.

I could not disagree. Here we go, I'm steeping the team. Wow, hey, Riker, you ever fuck a 600-year-old woman? Pretty wild man. She taught me things. We're talking like Stifler's mom level stuff here. Oh, wow. a real education will a real gear for god entity i'd like to fuck oh yes she uh you know she does make a

great point she's like this is harder on you because he's not dead he was taken and assimilated it would be easier if he was actually killed in this whole thing um and she's got a great line here too you know because he's like well captain picard wrote the book on the enterprise and she's like well if the Borg knows everything he knows then it's time to throw that book away that is now your chair captain just that like primo guinen advice that only the whoopster could deliver like don't try to do what Picard would do because Picard knows what he would do yeah and I want to see it doesn't happen because almost immediately he gets called like he said that he does sit in that chair which looks horrible by the way you got a real look at it it's just a it's just

an office chair, but the what do you call it there, the arms are way too high up, like, you know what I mean? The cushioning does not look like it's going to really sustain a long sit either, I'll be honest. That well-to-wall carpeting, you're just asking for stains. It's just embarrassing

for like the flagship of the fleet. Just have such shitty chairs everywhere. It looks like I get it like the bridge of Voyager. Like the Voyager, you know, was always like a smaller, lesser kind of not flagshipy ship. And like Like, that bridge is the worst bridge in Star Trek.

It's cheap. It's awful. The chairs are straight from fucking office depot. You know what I mean? But we're talking to the Enterprise, baby. Come on. It looks like a Robata in conference room or something. It does. It's unfortunate that Raymore and Flanagan won the Furniture Wars.

They were the last people. They were the ones who designed everything in Starfleet. But Riker doesn't have long to sit in the chair because this is, we get the word that the enterprises entered the wolf system. and yes the battle at Wolf 3-559 is long over every single

we're told the Admiral says that they are sending 40 starships to engage the Borg and not a single one of them has survived here, no life signs including the Melbourne

actually and it's kind of rad dude because like Riker has that moment of like oh fuck did I just get final destination like if I had taken that job I would have been on that ship

already and I'd be fucking dead. Wait, wait, wait. Does that, oh, God, did that Ensign always sound like Tony Todd? Or is that new? Is that a new thing? Eric, to your point, if ever

we need to be, like, getting corpses hitting the fucking... Oh, yeah. I mean, this is just an ocean of dead bodies in front of this fucking ship. Oh, yeah. It's Starship Troopers. Like, you can't, you can't get through it. It is, I mean,

this carnage shot is fucking great. It is cool, though, yeah, despite the lack of little bodies floating around, which I understand why they didn't include. A piece of a ship just bounces against the ship, which is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. It's really, really fucking cool. And like, it's cool in this moment, you know, because you so rarely see, I mean, Picard, in Picard, they gave it to you a couple of times on the show, like more than like two or three starships hanging out at once. But like, here on TNG you don't get that that often and so even though they're destroyed it is very cool

seeing all the different models in the various stages of destruction there's definitely one that's still on fire and I was like if this was made a little more in the future you would get like a little explosion effect there they'd computer in a little like boom kind of thing but yeah it's total

fucking carnage and Riker's like hey Shelby why don't you get that plan together the whole thing about separating the ship and whatnot. Yeah, we're totally fucked. And this is he's got, like, this is it cool, he's like, Data Warf, I've got a special mission for you. Well, he's got, now he's got all the answers. And

I don't know when he does it, but he, he brings up the Riker playbook, because everything Wes is doing later on is like, Riker maneuver 8.5 or whatever. I think if you're, like, kind of a big wig, like, I think it's like a commander and up, maybe. It's like, oh, shit.

I could be promoted to captain at any time, Possibly. You're spending, like, Saturday nights kind of like coming up with stuff, you know, or like, he's, yeah, he's listening to some old, like, jazz band and just kind of like tooling around with maneuvers. Well, see, that's why I would never be very good at Starfleak. Because, yes, I would be a commander. Then they're like, all right, dude died. Steve, it's time for your maneuvers. Oh, those. Well, you're supposed to be doing it in 12 a month, right? You're doing, you have all these. Yeah. Nobody's checking on those. So. Activate, uh, Sadec, tear. of the Kingdom maneuver beta that's where you sit down because you're playing

the video game you just that's right oh this is just a video of you beating the sand temple captain great

that doesn't help us exactly I always love it when we go down to the fucking battle bridge dude so here's Riker with a bunch

of no names on the battle bridge they hail locutus and this Riker starts like his little plan here

you know talking to to Locutus about like, oh, yeah, just got to give some time for you to come over here, maybe do some negotiation, figure out the whole submitting to your request thing. And LaCutus is like, yes, this is bullshit, man. I know everything you're doing, and you are stalling. Negotiations are futile. Dialogue is futile. That's right. I upgraded from Hopeless to futile. better but we do I always love a good separating the ship pretty cool here

and then the saucer section and the battle section start attacking because all this is cover so that wharf and data can sneak out in a little shuttle because they can't they can't just transport the captain back over there's Star Trek interference of some kind they got to get right up close and then if they break through the force field or whatever then they can transport onto the queue which they do from this little shuttle. It's so great. I always love this type of stuff

where it's just like, well, I was expecting the saucer section, but the luxury sedan they took out to the garage. Drove a car at me. Didn't see it coming. I do love this anti-matter spread dude. Speaking of fucking top gun,

they're just like blasting all these little fireworks at the cube, which is cool. But yeah, we get, like, beam over, whatever. And this is more like warf and data just ice it. these fuckers left and right. Oh, yeah, baby. I love that

Worf gets to Picard first or to Lucudus first and they're rassal it a little bit. Oh, absolutely. Data, this fork is coming up my ass, dude. What are you doing over there? Gonna need your robot strength, man. Data, oh, no,

I accidentally killed him. That was accidental. I didn't mean to twist his head like that all the way around. It's not supposed to be like that, right? That's kind of funny, Chris, because when I was watching it, I had the thought to myself, wouldn't it be hilarious of Worf just like

was in the groove of killing Borg and he accidentally broke his neck? I mean, honestly, I mean, like it does solve your problem, not all your problems, but one of them. Yeah, it would be fine. So they get Picard, they get him back on the shuttle, and once they're away from the Borg interference,

O'Brien is able to beam the three of them back out of the ship before the Borg destroy the shuttle. And man, Wesley right here has the, worst line of the entire 90 minutes where he just goes they have him go the saucer sections a sitting duck

it's like shut the fuck up Wesley please do god damn so you know Bev's kind of examining him or whatever back in sick bay and look at these enhancements Bavillet look at this I won't need that

pill the podcast advertiserable A piston, self-actualizing robo. That won't have to take those trips to planet Blue True anymore. Yes, exactly. I mean, that's the thing is, wouldn't you want to be Borg, the perfect marriage of technology and flesh? This is what we've all been marching towards. It's the forkhead, though, that really, really gives me pause.

I know, but think about it, like, you know, sometimes a restaurant doesn't bring the silverware out in time. and i gotta have all this shit on my face no thank you no you already have shit on your face yeah but that's my shit that's my shit eric it's not the shit of some computer you'll come to it'll be your shit too just like no it grow a beard you grow a beard that's not your shit either no here's the thing here's my thing couple it is his shit a couple of things uh one the smell outrageous i wouldn't be able to handle that also biologically like the biological people Ooh, smelly. What? Yeah.

What would I, we're also, I mean, the digital smell? What are you talking about? No, I'm just saying, like, regular humans have to smell worse than Borg. No, you have, well, it's all just, they're not replacing their, like, flesh or whatever. So, like, whatever's in those rubber pants, dude, it fucking smells. Because there's no Borg bathroom. We're not showering anywhere. The special pants they put on, maybe sucks all the shit and piss out of you.

All right, well, here's another thing then, if that's true. It is true. It's this whole thing about, like, oh, we. are the collective this that and the other thing how fucking frustrating finding something to watch on tv yeah hey guess what's finally no longer my problem well yeah you just have break you're just brain dead until they ask you to come out and fix something or kidnap the captain of the most famous starship ever i do i do like being in a weird little pot and going the sleep though that's pretty cool right yeah you just put your head up against the fucking light bright and you're

asleep you just go into one of those little hotels you know they have like the rooms like from the fifth element ship where you're just like in a tiny nook like like that and you're just lied in yeah they're all over the place you're fine you don't got to do this little pod hotels at least you get to lay down though you're not standing up like a fucking vampire taking on the entire goddamn enterprise i'm just saying i wouldn't i would have a lot less to worry about i'd be sure i'd be coasting i do see the positives there i don't want to say i don't uh so data kind of comes up with this idea that you know the borg appear to still be communicating with Lecutus and that if you cut the communication, Picard could be killed, basically, is the idea.

So Data instead decides, well, if they can hear him this way, maybe we can hear them the other way. And he decides to use his robot parts to basically hack the Borg network or whatever. It's kind of great. Like, while he's getting all that together, there's this really funny part where Patrick Stewart's, like, walking around Data's laboratory or whatever. And he's just like, he's like, you'll all be Borg, all of you. Yes, me. Click up, you're a Borg. Oh, yeah, you're a Borg.

I'm looking at a future Borg, motherfucker, right now. Okay, you know what? That's enough. Maybe we shut down Mr. Lucudus here. Maybe, hey, hey, Deda, you want to brain fuck this guy? Tom, you might want to give it a... Troy, you will look good as Borg. Yeah, that's right.

I want to see that in a Borg. That's right. Back that ass up. Metal attachments to your cans and make them actual cans. Oh. Captain, do we still have to listen to this? Can we please? Maybe get rid of this piece of shit?

So, you know, we're told, oh, we've entered sector 001 of space. We're in Taryn's space. Really cool shot of the cube flying by Saturn. I thought that was pretty sharp. Yeah, I haven't thought this time. It's kind of insane that data has this whole laboratory just for his own little experiments. It is a massive piece of real estate on the starship. I mean, but, you know, he's kept a special little boy.

It's to do what he wants. That's true. Aren't you all so happy that he has it for just such a brain fucking situation where you need this. You need this for this situation exactly. Well, we've seen this before. This is not the introduction of Data's Laboratory. But have I seen like, what's another major project that went on here? I'm trying to remember last time when he builds that fucking child for himself or whatever.

That thing is in that chamber most of the episode. And that was smooth sailing for sure. As this is, of course. I mean, like, you probably do have to. Why wouldn't you just kill him? I'm like, I'm sorry. I love him too. You would just have to kill fucking Lucudus.

No, but he knows. We'll learn more about the board, Chris. That's the only one we're going to beat him. So we're going to beat him, Chris. Sure, I guess. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah, let's find out what Picard learned.

Okay, 1-0-10. Resistance is futile. surrender now oh here's a line of code set a sleep alarm for them and they'll believe it I think this is a cool ending yeah well they do that

they do basically the bird they do actually what they do in Gremlins too they put a big a big tarp outside looks like night time and then all the board go to sleep hey they made it look like that would be great if they just did a giant Now, put the giant mad painting in space and it looks like Earth, but it's not Earth.

Starch, Bradden. They'll go in the lobby getting ready. Yeah. They got their fork hands and their little hats on. Yeah. There's a great, like, data learning so much about the Borg is kind of funny because he's clearly, like, fascinated by all the information that's coming into his positronic net. And there's a great processing. Processing. Oh, man. Love it.

It's great, too, because what you call it, like, there's some stuff where, like, you know, it's really intense on the floor there, on the bridge, and we're cutting back, but we're learning all this different stuff. Like, Riker is just like, Data now or fucking never, what are you doing over there? Yeah, absolutely. He's like, this is your final update, Mr. Data. Yes. Meanwhile, Riker also, like, he's also saying that because he is told Wesley, to set a course to run straight into this thing and then he tells Jordy he's like hey LaForge get the

the old warp core online well yeah we're about to fucking ram the shit out of this thing but yes sleep data sleep data you must be exhausted yeah dumb that was dumb

it was a dumb I thought it that as soon as he said I was like that's fucking I know the earth's about to blow up, but I could go for a nap real quick. If you're getting to Troy, I was like, wow, yet another dumb idea by Beverly. And we're 0 for two this week, Bev. She's going to update her file and get her fucking demoted or dismissed. Look cutest, like, looks over at Troy and just goes, rear.

We're going to have to bring Pulaski back. Oh, please don't. Oh, no, no, but let's deprogram your evil boy. boyfriend, Beverly. Let's do that. That's a better idea. Oh, and you want to leave the rabbit attachment. Okay. If you put him down on his tummy, on his back, there's a simian attachment there.

No, there's not. Oh, sit on my back. So, yes, Data puts the command through that they all have to recharge, a.k.a. go to sleep. Just like Riker was telling everybody in part one to go to bed. Now they're going to bed. There's a great Riker goes, hey

Commander Shelby, don't you go over to the cube and confirm the Borgar asleep? He's so like there's got to be another word for this. It is funny that they like, all right, you know, do due diligence, go double check that. Yes. And when they get

over there, they learn that not only has that work, but because they did it at a time where it was not planned the cube itself has registered that as a malfunction and it just has as triggered a default self-destruct mechanism pretty sweet here it's kind of it is the slightest bit cheap because it's like we don't have to kill all these beings here because that then you'd have your good yourself a good old-fashioned star trek conflict right like yeah sure they're the enemy but could we kill all these life easily easily the Borgube operates like a Tesla.

If there's a problem with it, it notices and explodes itself. The Twitter bird just got assimilated. Now it's X. Yeah. It is X of the X. Wow. That X, man. The fucking font that they looked like they ripped it off a cologne bottle only worn by

sex traffickers. Terrible idea. Anyway, so yes, we're going to blow up. And it does, you know, Reikers got a good, like, Wes. Get us within, don't get us out of here. Get us within safe and up range, because I want to watch these fuckers go up. Let's go there.

Let's get there early. I want to get good seats. I want to get right in the middle. We don't have, we can't pre-buy. We can't find the seats early, okay? Mr. Warf, I need you to make the popcorn for all the bridge crew. This is going to be awesome. Give me the exact count down because I want to yell out.

How futile is that, bitch? No. When it blows up. resist this motherfucker yeah yeah yeah I would have preferred that too I mean like I guess you needed to have this somber Jean-Luc exit moment here

rather than them watching it blow up like wheeh he's like coming back to his senses he's like oh dear lord I'm going to be shitting circuit boards all week or I mean also or dealing with the amount of like ensigns and lower lute

tenants that killed themselves last night because they were going to be assimilated. Oh, right. Yeah, I'd rather be dead than assimilated. Would that be you, Steve? Oh, absolutely. No way, but I would be going for it. I'd be like, yeah, borg me up. I'm fine with it. Borg me up. Let's see what it's like. There's a great, you know,

they ask him, like, how much do you remember? And he just goes, everything. Oh, yeah. Including some fancy-ass maneuvers by this new captain I heard so much about. I also know something about something called a borg Queen, but I'm going to keep it quiet for a couple of months. And by that, I mean, until the movie.

In the Spank Bank for now. Oh, yes, I remember everything. You might say it's going to come up all the fucking time in the show from now on. Like, for instance, do you know how a Borg sleeps? You see a bunch of flying toasters and then they turn into a bunch of pipes going around in circles.

Different colors, too. Yeah, it's like, oh, it turned into that, like, one summary with Spender Broad, like, yes, when you were a Bork. I know, I know, I know, I know, yeah, I got it. Did you know that the borg eat this a little differently? They put micro-processes on it. You know, the borg called this a royale with cheese.

You could go into the holodeck with a glass of beer. Not a little cup about you, a full-on glass of beer. See, they have the metric system. They wouldn't know what a quarter-pounder is. Oh, yeah, 10-year-old borgs are drinking red wine all the time. But it is true, though, Cameron, this is a thing that he carries with him through the rest of his life, right up through season three of Picard. It's such a great ending because, you know, like, it's, we wrap up the Riker part of this,

which is just really important, which is, you know, basically, he is going to stay. And, like, she's like, you know, Shelby is, like, going to be on some Borg task force. And we'll see you in 30 years, I guess. And, you know, like, she's like, you know, I hope I have the pleasure of serving with you at some other point. And he's like, yeah, me too. We're friends. And they leave him alone. And he's just, it's this great, it's this great fucking, uh, Patrick Schuad acting

where it's like, I'm going to drink tea and let everybody know it's all right. But he doesn't drink the tea. And he puts it down. And he's visibly unsettled, end of episode. Of course, he's got an HVAC fucking, like, pipe or whatever up his ass and no one took it out. Well, he's just always like, what the fuck was with that fork, man? What the shit? What the shit was I supposed to?

No one never told me what to do with it. He keeps dropping the tea because he got used to the fork. It would be kind of great if it's like you have this nice moment, but then it's like one last scene and it's him going into sick bay. And Beverly's like, oh, Jean-Luc, are you recovering okay from, you know, removing all the Borg parts from you? And he just goes, Beverly, you missed one. But it's great.

I mean, I love it. It's him looking at the window of the Enterprise. He's looking as they pass. Earth. Yeah, the Enterprise gets to Earth so rarely. So this was, it's a cool fucking visual, because it's the Enterprise. You get Earth, you get the moon right there. Pretty fucking sweet stuff. Oh, I could have blown

that the fuck up. Oh, the moon. The Earth, oh, the cutest had it pretty good. Space babe, too. I won't tell anyone about. But yeah, that is going to do it for this two-parter on TNG here. Now, of course,

There's no way to say which episode you favor it, I guess. It's kind of all the same thing. But maybe just some final thoughts here. We'll go around the horn. Chris Cabin. Oh, it's a great episode. I don't have any history. Like, I don't remember when I saw this.

I definitely did see it when I was watching it originally on like whatever Fox channel I had. But, I mean, it's a great, it's a great two-parter. The first part's all set up. Second parts all pay off. Worked great. Eric Siska. Yeah, this is amazing. I love both episodes.

They work well together, obviously. And just the Borg is such a refreshing and interesting concept of revamping zombies and the fear of technology. I love the Borg. Yeah, totally. I feel the same way. It's great. It's a cool little movie with Inside a TV show.

You know, the Borg, they come back here and there on TNG. I don't know at all on D.S9. They're all over Voyager, though. because they're out in the Delta Quadrant, the fucking home turf of the Borg, so you get a lot of them there, of course. But it's just great. It's just great, you know,

it shows you what great writing and directing and acting can do for television. And just, you know, especially the fact that it's like such an awesome two-parter like this. And it's just a two-parter. It's not a 10-parter. It's not a fucking six-parter,

secret invasion thing. It's a one-two-punch. It's a full story that's written and executed impeccably and like you kind of just wish more TV would get hip to do in that kind of stuff again but I absolutely love it

Steve Saneck, final words yeah I agree with all of that especially the two-parter bit of it especially the two-parter bit wherein it's like oh fuck what is this show gonna look like in three months you know what? Let's just throw a ball up in the air and know that we're gonna catch it

you know what I mean and they knew yeah and they do and you know what I mean and like luckily everybody signs on I mean the idea of a of this show losing Patrick Stuart and continuing with just Jonathan Franks I mean it still would have I still probably would have liked it but it just

wouldn't be this show it's a weird it's a weird weird weird what if but it's kind of cool to watch them just know that they're going to catch it know that there's going to be a second half of this is that is just as exciting as the first and it is and it's really neat to watch I always love watching

these early Borg episodes when like the because of the Borg not to you know they don't they never round And the cool thing is they do use the Borg Sparingly in this series and in all of Star Trek enough so that they always have oomph. But always in these early episodes, especially this one, it's just like, what the fuck could we do to these guys? The answer is like kind of nothing. You know what I mean?

Resistance is literally an actually futile. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. These things are super cool. You can just watch this as a little movie anytime you want. And that's what's awesome about it. And I think to your point about throwing the ball up in the air and knowing they're going to catch it, they know they're going to catch it, but they don't know how or with whom. And I think that is like such an awesome risk that's not, you know, taken in television the same way these days.

But anyway, that is going to do it for this edition of the Nexus gang. We hope you enjoyed this two-parter. We'll be back to TOS slash TNG next month. and I will say the TNG is Picard dealing with his shitty brother, Robert. So that's going to be totally awesome. We get a little Chateau Picard and whatnot. But until then, thank you for being the kick-ass Patreon subscriber that you are. And until next time, I've been Andrew Jupin.

Stephen Zedach. Eric Sisko. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. You know, I'm going to be able to be. You know, Thank you. Thank you.