We Hate Movies - S14: WHM Mail Bag for April 2024

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

“It’s like advertising your picture has sound when special effects have come into market... it’s not the same.” - Chris, on bullies aging out  On the April ’24 edition of WHM Mail Bag, we’re reading some letters from fans as we plug our upcoming run of spring shows! We’ve got letters from one fella who puked up Twizzlers during a Cleveland screening of the film Major League, another person who got revenge on a bully in a big, bad, totally gross way, another who the Universe would not let watch 2 Fast 2 Furious, and one guy who didn’t recognize the great Diana Ross on a college campus! Be sure to catch us THIS THURSDAY at the City Winery in Atlanta, Georgia as we talk about the dumb-ass Gerard Butler action flick, GAMER! And don’t forget to dance the WHM Texas Two-Step with us as we hit up Houston and Austin on back-to-back nights! Night 1 in Houston, we’ll be talking Robocop 2 at the Houston Improv and for Night 2 in Austin, we’ll be talking about the magnificent From Dusk Till Dawn (W❤️M) at Cap City Comedy. Texas, this May… we dance! Have a wild story you’d like read on the air? Or do you have a question for the gang? Then write into the Mail Bag: [e-mail]!

POMAYOR. POMAYOR. I don't know. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm I'm

a bit of I'm and I'm and I'm I'm I'm

What's going on, everybody. I'm Mailbag. My name is Andrew Jupin. And this is the first one in a long while, gang. So thanks for tuning in this evening live to help us read through some letters. Maybe A's some Q's at the back end of this sucker. If we got some time,

going to bring in a couple buds here to help me read along. Far too much for me to read on my own. First up, you know him, you love him, Mr. Steven Sadek. Hey, everybody. Hi. I don't know. I'll be joyful tonight. How about that?

You sound like you're feigning enthusiasm, Steve. No, hey, everybody. Hi. The closer you get to sounding like Mickey Mouse, dude, the more disingenuous. Yeah, that's true. And this dude, if you're a fan of on-screen live, you know this motherfucker loves reading. Here's Chris Cabin. No, Ralph, I told you. I told you that you're going to have to start paying to put my mail down at my doorstep.

I told you that. There's a lot of guys at the post service who want to have my route, okay? They beg me every week. Every week I get letters, I get packages saying, Chris, I didn't know you were such a player at the post office, dude. Sorry, Ralph, I have to go. I have to do his show. Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing either, but it's fine.

It's all good. Yeah, good to see you. Goodbye. Sorry, guys. Good to see you on the fucking phone. Well, you know, I see him in my mind's eye because they're, remember from my many many many uh visits to the post office of course you go to the post office a lot dude yeah uh no i can't remember last time i did that that's probably about three years now we're talking

no because you use stamps dot com i maybe sometimes not often i just don't find myself mailing things that often i guess no uh no all i mail are fucking tax checks that's literally i did that that was nice yep bend over there dude there's like a post net up the street that i i'm like it's like a postnet is that like a fake post office it's like a post office but they also have a printer that you can use and that's why i go there like twice a week it's just like it's like 1997 where i live should i buy a printer yes the emails did you go there to print the emails i didn't know i just have another thing but yeah oh look at you i mean so do you do your emailing there too weekly just you know just go in there can i use your internet can i use your internet the internet

Cafe. I'm usually in the books. I don't do this internet much. It's books for me. Dude, it's amazing. You just watch this chat, which by the way, big up to people in the chat here hanging out this evening. Skinny Menace, Sandwich Jones, profane angel,

Lisa Oliver, sucked. Hello, everybody. Usairus 87. Maxi. Everybody's hanging out here. And so the thing is funny, I've been watching the chat as Chris talks about the post office. And a lot of conspiracy theories about Eric, because he's now missed two streams in a row. Here's the thing. He's fucking missing. He went to fucking, he went to look at that stupid eclipse yesterday and that motherfucker didn't come home. Well, as, as we know, we've all heard the reports. The Royal Guard was seen going to the Cisco household and picking up someone. And they only send a Royal Guard if somebody from the Royal Family is injured or is having an incident. So, but definitely a Cisco family, member was in that

what would you call a convoy I guess like it's a multiple car thing several of them and so you know we don't want to talk about what it is he's going to send a message on a park bench soon yeah what he's doing and how he's been doing but

wait just wait it's not you don't start conspiratizing we will release a very bad AI photo of Eric with 19 fingers on Thursday just to prove that everything's okay everything's totally fine We heard you. We know that the first photo we released was from

2021. We know that. It was our fault. Don't worry about it. Philippe in the chat, I'm just going to say, man, inappropriate comment. I'm not even going to put it up. I can't sanction. I can't sanction that buffoonery, my friend. I don't think so. Still too soon. Still way too soon. I don't think so whatsoever. We need about 700 more days.

Hot damn, dude. Philippe coming in hot this evening. Woo, doggy. No, Eric got fucking stuck in traffic. And he's probably still driving home from seeing an eclipse, everybody. So you know what? That's all right. It happens. We're here to read some letters. We're going to get to him anyway. Also going to be

talking about the tour. Got to plug that. Got to. But let's start it on the letters. I got the first one up here. Now, this is a quick one. It's going to go fast. Yes. Does he reference it? Yeah. Okay. This fellow and I had an interaction on Twitter

or on Patreon in the comments section of our Major League episode. And he didn't make it onto your enemies list. I'm to understand. This was one of the ones that didn't. I hop on that Patreon comments thread, dude, and I, you know, it's all good on there. It's all gravy on there.

The Patriot, it's different than the Reddit situation. The Reddit situation, that's where it gets a little spicy. I'll go in and mediate on Reddit occasionally. Yeah, there's some ghost peppers out there. I don't fuck around of that wasteland. But all right, so anyway. There's nice people there.

Also, yes. Not all Redditors. I know. I know, Steve. I know. All right. Here we go. Cleveland Rocks.

Debatable subject line. Well, look, the Ian Hunter song, at least, suggests. Right, right. Okay. Hey, guys. I told this story at a Patreon comment thread, and Andrew said I should write in.

True. So here's my brief major league story. Now, here's the thing. If I'd known it was going to be this brief. I probably would have just left it alone. But thank you for writing it anyways. Here we go. For some reason, my parents took me with them to see Major League when it first ran in theaters, despite the fact that I was six at the time.

Yeah, that's a hard R language-wise. Yeah. Nothing else really salacious. I would definitely want to take the child aside afterward. Even at six, you're like, look, this is not how you romance a woman. this is going to be coming an issue one day and like we're still a ways away from it but first I really need to put down the floorboards here on this one

that is not how you do it Tom Barringer just don't do that I proceeded to eat one of those giant movie theater bags of red Twizzlers and vomit all over myself during the movie now I'm choosing to believe that this is taken by surprise vomiting

yeah be like you swallowed the last bit of the twizzler like and it was in the theater it wasn't like you got to the bathroom it was like but you're six years old both ends are very

they're volatile either end who knows what's going to happen also at six remember when it comes to candy you're very much like a dog you have to be told to stop that needs to be you need somebody

needs to take you by the collar and say no that's enough no more of that twizzler I forget what movie it was but I had a big old bag of rollo's once never again cannot look at a rollo ever again not they're coming up a lot anyway at this point

you know right yeah did you get a ton of rolloes in the wild did they all come up is that what happened it wasn't counting the rolloes No, it was just more of a sour stomach, as they put it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Too much caramel.

Well, I have to stop myself all the time from eating too many sour patch kids because then you turn your tongue into a wasteland. And like, you get that grade, like, it's stingy for a little bit. It stings. It's fucking stings. You have too many of them, man. I can't do the sour candy. I don't do the sour candy. I love it. Nothing? I love it so much. No, no sour candy whatsoever. Oh, man. Wow. I love it. I can't get enough of it as, as, as you, probably know from the story i just told yeah yeah uh you like stiny tongue i like uh all right here we good old stingy tongue camman uh we left the theater and and this is why it isn't

much of a story and i've since seen the movie once or twice on video however i'll always associate it with bright red vomit which is truly something yeah walk by a tbs broadcast of major league and think of vomiting that's unfortunate well and like that because like what else you're getting like the and i see like if you got a red icy that sure very rarely are you getting that i feel uh growing up in cleveland any movie set or filmed here was always at least a family rental and besides major league one and two uh the rest of those movies ranged from american splendor and the first mc u avengers movie to howard the duck and double dragon okay thanks for the podcast sam b there you go thank you sam in in the original uh draft of the godfather that's where he goes

instead of italy like he just goes to cleveland for a little while and uh apollonia is that is about to eat some uh a pierogi and then she explodes that's oh no yeah but it's on apollonia though it's julia no yes yes i mean that if i was in that household and i had a mother or a father or even a sibling that took that too seriously, I would start being like, oh, yeah, I heard actually, um, Jesus, it's, uh, yeah, they filmed, uh, half of the, the, the, the conversation in Philadelphia. Yeah, exactly. I just, yeah, no, no, I know it says it's a different place, but it, it was. You have to watch, read the, the, the, the fake, the, the fake Wikipedia is up there. You have to find the real Wikipedia to find it. Oh, hey, Uncle Al. There's a new, uh, Cleveland

movie coming out. It's called two girls one cup. I believe the cup is a Cavaliers Cup. It's a short. It turns out. I want to support the arts, so I'm watching shorts. I figured that would have been shot in like some black

site somewhere in Central Asia. But Cleveland. Wow. The Guardian City. Two girls one cup. Amazing. Several Paul Schrader movies, mostly the ones that nobody watches. But, you know, some okay ones. Michael J. Fox one and the

what was that? The Willem Defoe and Nick Cage Doggy Dog. Oh yeah. Those were both Philly, I think. I was curious because I just watched this movie last night. Just on a whim, I'll just have like a man movie night sometimes and catch up one of a man movies. I probably watched the place behind the pines,

beyond the pines rather. Oh, yeah. A lot of that talk, we're talking about Troy quite a bit. So you guys would be excited about that. You guys watched together. They filmed that movie in Schenectady, which was the town, like, just west of us. Yeah. They were up there for quite a while. Yeah, I liked that movie quite a bit. That, like, that's a thing. Up there, not a ton. We had that. We had a salt with Angelina Jolie. We had the adaptation of ironweeds in, like, the 70s, I think that was, with Nicholson. Because when Nicholson went to the local diner and had his photo and everything up there, they had, I guess,

ate there like every morning Yeah And another one Off the top of my head is The Guy Pearce Time Machine Which I've re-watched recently Boy, that's bad Yeah

Boy, that's a bad It's like one of those It's one of the biggest chop jobs You'll see like a studio Rained the fucking Clippers down on It's fucking crazy in that movie My cousin is an extra And I'm pretty sure she was cut out

Pretty early on amazing um oh someone someone everyone watching everyone was an extra i do at the bronx tale everyone will tell you that they were in the bronx tale even though were you though really because how are you going to tell exactly you know what i mean just scores of italians just running around fordum road in that movie i'm sure

someone knows someone was asking what game i have on it's the rangers islanders game oh nice uh yeah the rangers are getting fucking killed for no reason uh Okay. Chris Cabin, I believe you're up for the next one, my friend. Sure, here we go. Mama saliva with the four cheese blend. These aren't all going to be vomit stories, are they? This is not a vomit story.

Okay. I want that to be very clear. This is a vomit story. It's not a vomit story. That's subject line. I mean, you can see Chris how Steve and I both immediately thought it was a vomit story, right? Not a vomit story. Okay.

Hey, gang, first time, long time. I hope you guys are doing well. Thank you very much for that. Well, I'm not. The year is, oh, let's see, do you want to, do you want to vent a little bit here, Steve? No, no, okay. The year is 1999, it's eighth grade, and life is good if you lived in that time. The mummy, WWF attitude, the rise of new metal.

Absolutely. And chinko jeans, big enough to form a dome around our hometown. Hell yeah. Our school bully was at the height of his bullying. Oh, wow, this is he was having a perfect season. Well, I mean, that's the, do you, like, follow the stats of your bully? Like, I didn't really, like, I wanted to be away for my bully as much as possible. I wasn't following his career to see the stats and see where he goes.

I didn't see any of that. He bullied everyone. Even our school librarian, Mrs. Sykes. Yeah, fucking take that Mrs. Sykes, you push over. Look, I mean, why are you bullied by a kid? You got to get rid of that kid. Look, I heard that she ran over her husband, so you know. know what? It's fine. You can say whatever you like. It's fine. Who wasn't elderly,

but very, very sweet old lady. Yeah, that's what you're. Yep. Yep, those are always the ones that are asking for it the hardest. I know. Every time. We're talking wedgies, wet willies, swirlies, highly insensitive and very racist and sexist name calling. What are we doing? I'm not asking for examples because enough of my hair is white and many knuckle sandwiches to everyone who crossed

his path. Wow. That's like a real well honestly a real deal bully dealing in wedgies and wet willies. Like this is this is prime bullying. He's an Olympic level bully. I've been bullied my whole life.

I was bullied as a kid never never received a wedge. Never got the wedgy, never got the swirley, never, it was always psychological, break me down. Yeah, so that, which you carry long, you carry that longer, you see. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, but, yeah, because that, I mean, that just, it's too, it's too concentrated. Yeah, you know, exactly. You put the, you put the, the chlorine in the orange juice once a day, just a little bit.

Yeah, and then eventually, eventually builds up, you know what? And it's harder to trace that way. So, you know what? That's how you do it. Bullies, they know they're, I mean, this guy sounds like he was going, I mean, it was the 90s. He was a blockbuster guy. He wanted a monopoly here, clearly. You wanted to be big.

Despite many protests from a lot of classmates, the guy was just untouchable. What, do you have something on the principal? I don't understand this. Maybe he's bullying the principal too. Oh, yeah, kicking the shit out of that guy. The Tefloddodd of bullies. He's just knocking like coffee out of a 50-year-old man's hands. and getting away with it.

I kind of, I would love to see this guy in action. Totally. And like you do like the American pie like scene, right? And it's like slow-mo slaps it out of his hand. Out of my way, bitch. This fucking 50-year-old bald man is just cowering from this guy. We're going to have to have a talk, Frank. We're going to have a real talk about that, Franklin.

Okay. We're all right. Um, till one day. Fuck, yeah. Friday. Came home to roost, motherfucker. Friday, as it often is, I remember, was pizza day. And my middle school, no matter how awful it was,

the cafeteria ladies cooked up some bomb-ass pizzas. I haven't heard bomb-ass in that long, so thank you for that. It's been a while. That one's sent me back. Well, it sends you back into the late 90s. You're wearing the jingo jeans right now, Chris. We're saying bomb ass. I'm sending it back.

As I was sitting with my friends about to eat my delicious, and most likely Mama Celeste pizza, I was called by my middle school crush from another table. And I understand that. The alarms go off. If your crush is asking for you, you have to go.

I don't care if I'm in the middle of like talking to a teacher. I'm like, I got to go. Oh, yeah. Yes, my lady, whatever it is. Also, I knew that this bomb-ass pizza thing was a fucking a little bit of an overreaction here.

Because already, in the next paragraph, we're suspecting that it's Mama Celeste pizza. Like, come on. I mean, I never had Mama Celeste. Is it good? It's frozen pizza. I mean, it's only going to be so fine. I mean, Paul Newman's frozen is pretty good, I got to say. That's good for frozen pizza.

It's a little frozen pizza. Yeah, Elyos was okay. Again, frozen pizza. I never trusted any woman romantic that I was romantically interested in starting a conversation with me until I was about 22 years old. Sort of some bully sting was about to happen. Yeah, like one way or another, like you're going to be

talking and like some dudes are going to come and pull your pants down behind you. Exactly. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, nice try. He was like, nice try, pretty lady. I don't think so. You know what, Steve? Growth is important. It doesn't matter what the time timeline is. You know what? Don't got to worry about that. I'm totally right there with you, Steve. It took me a long time

to not be like, oh, well, she clearly is making fun with me. You know what I mean? Like, whatever like totally like whatever nothing totally normal level like compliment like oh she's making bottom thing so I told my friends to not touch

my pizza and being a disgusting shit boy calm down I hawked the lugiest of luggies and licked my pizza in what my friends described as a psychosexual licking

it was middle school congratulations you committed the first act of Pizza Lingus known demand First of all Not the first This is 99

Please Yeah we were doing it Pizza had been around For a while It had been taken the country By storm We were all into it Pizza and dangerous loners

Had been around for a while Yes No no no Just hold it up to your mouth And lick it No it's normal It's what everybody's doing So

So when I came back from the girls table i heard my friends laughing hysterically one of them literally rolled off the table and there he was the school bully hoovering my pizza yeah get fucked bully this is eat that lug are we sure this is the letter and not the third act of heavyweights i just want to make sure that i'm not oh is the party about to happen Or the widow baby did not get his pizza booze Said the bully as he relished In what he thought was my friends joining him

For a laugh for eating my saliva A drenched pizza This is dreadful I mean one The fact that this is a real life person And not a cartoon character Calling someone a little baby in the school cafeteria Well that's I mean

Well, this is a wedgy giver, dude. This kid is from 1986 and maybe 40 years old. It's like he crawled out of a television set. Yes. And just started walking around in the real world. He's smoking a cigarette, just going around the school. It's your time now. Get into this all.

From the TV universe. I don't understand this. Also, how do you not, if you're lugging on that pizza, how do you not know that the pizza's got lug all over it? I mean, but you got to think you're not, you're put, you got to put yourself in the bullies, you know, mindset there. What you want to do

is eat the pizza to show that you can. What is on the pizza is not is not coming into mind. You just need to hoover, as he says, Uber it up. And that's what they'll see. And of course, this is leading him to like swallow saliva.

Someone else is, me and my friends would never let what happened and go away. We laughed our asses off at him for technically swapping spit with me and he never knew. As he went to high school, we all continued the laughter

and his bullying faded into obscurity as we were a high school that took no shit from no one. And he became a sad figure. As they often do, I remember my mind became pretty sad towards the end of high school. Yeah, it was crazy. Like one day the school sort of like rose up and they went out into the courtyard and everybody

threw a bunch of ropes up on the statue of the bully that they had and pulled it down. Oh, that was the fall of Saddam Hussein. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, yeah, you're confused with you. I completely, I'm sorry. Oh, I mean, once people start actually having sex, bullying is just sort of like, what?

You know what I mean? It's like, wait, what? Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? What are you doing? You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's one of this. Right.

It's like advertising that your picture has sound, uh, when like special effects have come into market. Exactly. Like, it just, it's not the same. Um, I guess he realized his prime had passed and now he was nothing. Damn, that's pretty. Okay.

Because you're shit and I'm shame. Yeah. Yeah, you hear that, Jane Adams? You big-eyed lady. You big-eyed lady. Flash horror to 2024. I am now a middle school teacher. They later found out that he found God and became a minister.

Fucking coward. Nice. Couldn't live with his past. Well, that's, honestly, I kind of am agreeing with you on that one because, like, you just didn't move on to the next thing. You should have just become a criminal if you're going to really meant what you meant. Like, if you were in there doing the real work, you'd have gone there to be at a heavy. At the very least, you become a professional bodyguard.

That's who really want to follow the, the passion of it. We've long since become friends on Facebook. and he seems to be having a nice life despite possessing my bodily fluid and the entire and the entire school body hating him until high school graduation

I've become a there's a part of you inside of him forever gave a part of your soul it's still there I've become an advocate in my school to prevent and stop bullying now my school has become recognized from our school district as the

bully free school. That's nice. Wow. In times when I when I help my student who has been bullied, I refer to the pizza hoovering revenge. It gets a kick out of the students. That's good. You know what? Of course it does. Of course it does. Using storytelling to, you know, tell them like, look, you can spit on people's pizza.

It's fine. And it's that you use that also to, you know, maybe dissuade from you know, some kid may be thinking about becoming a bully. Like, look, I will spit on your fucking pizza kid. Yeah. You're going to eat my bodily fluids. What do you think about that shit? That's a meeting between you and the principles

when you tell a kid he's going to eat your bodily fluids. Just an FYI. It's a quick. Fair enough. All right. You're right. You're totally right. You switch it a little bit.

Someone's going to. Look, Steve, if you want bullied scares straight, we've got to let them have a little leeway. They got to be able to say something. Okay, got it. Thank you guys for the great laughs. you guys have made me and my daughter look forward to hearing anything from you guys and my daughter has been listening to you guys since she was 14 that's my fault sorry about

that uh uh kind of regards and a most sincere thank you guys felix from dallas texas and maldoone's pub shout wow interesting Dallas tex felix felix thank you so much you know what felix could do i think what's that felix could quite possibly see us twice in may How can he do that? Well, all you need to do is go and see our show on May the 14th, which will be, May the 14th, yes, Robocop 2 in Houston, Texas. Oh, yeah. Super exciting. And then, you know, don't spit on my pizza creep.

Sorry. And if you want to, you're like, oh, man, that's not enough we hate movies for me. You could also then, if you wanted to drive to Austin, Texas, do you very nice night to see a dark night from Dustal Dawn. cap city comedy club in austin texas we are so looking forward to both those shows but also felix if you're you know if you got some downtime at the end of uh april and you just want to drive around dual cross country trip if your daughter's annoying you if you're tired of your daughter and you need to get some space away from her exactly you can go see us in atlanta georgia on may the 20 on april of 24 5th uh to see gamer uh general butler's gamer

Kelsey Gamer. Kelsey Gamer, indeed. Yeah, I'm fucking pumped, man. All those ticket links are on our website, scrolling below there. WHMpodcast.com, click on that tour page. It's going to be a fun run of shows, you guys. I'm getting more pumped. Like, now that we're in April, like, the shit is upon us.

Like, Atlanta's going to be here before you know it. And then Tejas is going to be right behind it. It's going to be so much fun. I'm really pumped. I'm really pumped about that. Yeah, WHMpodcast.com. Click on that tour tab. And actually, if you're on the website, by the way,

just like one space over from the tour page is our merch link. And, you know, on the T. Public Store right now, we got a couple of new designs from Philippe Sabrero, of course, our amazing artist, including this Night Vision. I can't get enough of it. Orson Wells, this is a bit from our Roller Bowl episode from a couple weeks back. It's a fucking really fun. it was a fun bit to do it's a fun bit to bring back up and it's fun as fuck wearing that t-shirt

around my house the other day so uh there you go yeah i buy our i buy our merch man i buy our man all the time whatever hey fuck it great work philippe thank you so much it looks hell yeah again it's a great translation of our little bit from roller ball uh we go and you know you know just an f why i listen to the whole episode because usually sometimes later in the episode there'll be a real banger because we've been kind of drunk for a little bit and that's what that's what it gets really like an hour 15 the silly season sometimes starts just an FYI that's totally right that's totally right uh orders come down between the worlds laughs the dead might be looking in you see um the jokes are dirt you uh love that guy um yeah so that's

pretty exciting shit uh i'm excited to get back on the road oh what are you saying steve i'm just I'm thinking right now, like, what if you die, right? And God is like, you can come to live in my infinite wisdom and wonder and all this stuff. Or you could live in hell, which is just Halloween 3 and like Connell Cochran's the devil. I might, I might choose Halloween 3, you know, like. I got to tell you, those vibes for the most part were pretty mellow in that town. Yeah, exactly. I could do it.

Yeah, I think I could do that. That's fine. Yeah. Sometimes people are like, oh, you know, hell is just. it's being away from God's love. I'm like, well, that's not too bad. I mean, because you tell me, some people tell me pitchforks and like, Edel shit.

And then other people are like, oh, no, God doesn't love you down in hell. I'm like, I don't know, don't feel it right now. So, I mean, what's the difference? Yeah, like eternity and a no-cow beach town. Beautiful shores, get a solid, you know, reliable job at a toy factory. Yeah, you know. And look, when you finally do guitar.

of it, you can't just put one of the masks on. Yeah, that's a good point. There you go. Wait for Halloween. Get the signal going. Fam, you're ready to go. Buddy Cufferin and his family that gets iced in that movie hilariously. Easy piece. What is a better way of exiting this world than turning into just a deluge of bugs? Don't think of snakes. There are like two to three snakes that come out. Thanks and spiders. It's true. Here we go. The curse. of the Singleton sequel. Interesting.

Hey guys, big fan of the show and proud Patreon. Thank you so much. Thanks to everybody who's ever a bit of a patron. You guys are the best. First of you all on the Dead Meat podcast, love those folks. Shout out. Hell yeah.

My favorite episodes are the Wishmaster episodes, The Moral Comments, and Halloween 3, if you could believe it. Oh, look at that. Perfect. There you go. If some listeners haven't heard of those, you should go check them out. That's very nice thing to say.

Those are good, like, places to start when you're, like, recommending the show to people. Those are some popular fan faves. I saw... Boral Compa and Halloween 3 are very early. True. I

could have swore that I saw Andrew Divoff in Jersey City the other day and I almost lost my shit. But it wasn't here. Of course that. What the hell is he? I would run. I would run towards him and just... If I happen to look weird, that's just what I did. Well, we know they're shooting a movie there. Maybe he's going to be in that new Eric Roberts

movie. You never know. That's true. My favorite peach is up to street. I'm going to spin on it. Maybe they're secretly filming the next season of Perry Mason that doesn't exist. And maybe he's finally going to come back into it. I don't know how. Maybe finally.

Those fucking assholes canceling that show. Damn it. The year is 2003 and everyone is on the Fast and Furious craze. So you went to go watch Too Fast and Furious. I was always the third real would go into the movies with my buddy and his girlfriend. Know that game.

15 minutes into the movie. we hear rumbling and the power goes out due to a storm. They give us free vouchers and we decided to go to the next weekend but his girlfriend is unable to go. This time we get 20 minutes into the movie and another storm causes the power to go out.

The following day I was unable to go to the movies but my friend and his girlfriend well first of all like what is this voucher you got to go back the next weekend? It should be like any time. It's a voucher. I think no I think they just really wanted to see the movie. Yeah. Got it got to be part of the conversation. Yeah, generally you like

post-date those things you give people like a year or some shit unless the cedar was run by assholes which a lot of them are so possible it is possible uh this time we get 20 minutes of the movie store for those power uh the following day i was unable to go to the movies but my friend and his girlfriend were able to watch the movie in its entirety was uh was i the reason they couldn't finish was i the reason they couldn't finish question mark so defeated uh i decided to wait for the movie on DVD. Have you done? Steve, what was the movie you were a third wheel? I wanted

did ask. Oh, God. Take your pick. Yeah, nothing sticks out. I do remember. I do. Oh, you got one? A tool show, tool, the concert, tool, the band. Bromopon, bough. It was a weird, like, it was the summer

between college, between high school and college and me and my buddy's girlfriend and he were like we were all together all the time smoking weed and it was like oh we'll just all go to the tool show like two weeks after we start I start college

I'm like totally fine awesome and they come to pick me up she's already in tears and my friend alerts me on as he pulls open the hatchback or whatever that they had just broken up on the way on the way up there that's great that's fantastic so he broke

up with her at the big before the concert really smart well because you know you don't know you might meet somebody at the show steve it's a big opportunity and then we go all the way to this fucking tool show now i'm smoking pot and who cares but she just had a miserable time but it was incredibly awkward and both ways actually in the car because the concert's fun the car was not you do the old, I am pretending to oh, man, it's just so tired, it's such a long drive to rest my eyes and just pretend to be asleep

and wish I was anywhere else. And if you guys, if you guys want to fight, I'm not going to wake up, so you just go as much as much as much as I'm not. I'm not talking about, you don't know, personal, sexual stuff. I can't hear anything I'm asleep. I'm just doubt.

So, I'm curious, though. So why why did it go down like this? Why didn't have to be this way, Steve? I'll never understand it. Was everyone in, like, on both sides of this relationship, massive tool fans? Was it a, I'm not going to get the money back,

and I don't believe you're going to give me the, you know, my money back because we broke up and so I got to go. Yeah. I mean, also, Andrew, you got to remember, at the time, Tool Live was considered, like, seeing, like, Dylan Live when he went electric. Like, it was the, it was the show. It was a rare feat.

It was a rare thing. And this is off the Lateralus album, obviously, huge album. Big album. Ask your grandparents about Lateralis kids. Okay, so where were we? So I'm so defeated. I decided to wait for the movie on DVD. The day the movie comes out for rental, I get off work and rush to my local blockbuster.

Due to my luck, obviously, all copies were already rented. What the fuck? I go to the other blockbuster. God, what a time to be alive when the other blockbuster was there. That's nice. which is farther away only to discover was out of stock also what evil force is putting a curse on me preventing me to see this all this uh shitty movie eventually i was able to see the movie once uh the rented DVDs were returned i was mad at myself that i put this much effort and trying to

watch this movie uh and it ended up being dog shit maybe it was my guardian angel trying to save me time and money but he or she did not my friend no my question to you gentlemen uh have you ever tried to watch a movie but kept running out into obstacles from watching said film love the show uh love the podcast love the wallberg impression signed cj from texas i am going to tell a story i'm not going to tell the whole thing because it's about the story but uh this is my uh dream catcher scenario where i was getting into i i had to do i was just getting into kazah like maybe it could i rent can i can i steal movies in college that is an ask your grandparents about kazah by the way we got a problem we got a problem as that. A lot of work.

I'm trying to download a copy of Dreamcatcher, which I thought was going to be a really cool movie. It took me about two to three months of just like failed downloads. I'm waking up in the middle of the night just to make sure it's about to finish. It's about to fail download. Oh, it's not the right file.

The sound is off. And it just was Dreamcatcher at the end. You know what I mean? At the end of the day, the lunch line is it was Dreamcatcher. So, Steve, do you remember what it was about Dreamcatcher that had like, captured your imagination i gotta say it was probably just uh knowing myself it was the jason lee of it all uh jason lee is a cool movie that does not have uh you know that's not a this universe film

he's branching out he's he's trying to think yeah i'm exactly 18 years old that's how that works i thought you were gonna say you're big like steven king head too or something no no no because i i i me being a little piggy i didn't even see that fucking i i i had no interest in that fucking thing oh i saw i saw that shit in theaters really I had no interest in it I don't know why it just didn't catch me so either of you ever have a stumble and a like a movie you just could not get to

yeah it wasn't like a multiple step thing like this but I do recall one time what was it oh that Keanu Reeves Gene Hackman movie The Replacements Oh yeah so we were there kind of like a late show on a weeknight and my buddy gave me a ride to the theater and we're seeing the movie

and we're the only people in the theater and like, I don't know, 45 minutes into this movie, this kid's mother comes in and is like you were supposed to be home and blah blah blah and he had like forgotten to do something or whatever and she's

losing it in the theater in the theater she went to like the person at the counter and was like my son is in this movie and he's supposed to be all right. And the lady was like, yep, right back you go. of course

and so she's like we're going home right now and like pulled this kid out and like I was like this dude's my ride I'm gonna just have to leave the movie like it fucking sucked so I saw like 45 minutes of the replacements

and then wait until it was on DVD and then rented it so it wasn't that many hurdles but it was like it was long enough into the movie where I was like into it and like yeah it's not a good movie but it's like a funny enough sports comedy or whatever i had a uh um it wasn't like as a penalty or punishment or anything but i had a uh homer and bart uh him trying to see itching scratchy the movie situation with my mother uh involving the movie seven wow my mom had

read something somewhere that like even as compared to like you know The same movie industry that had decades ago already put Salo out. We already know what's going on. It's bad. Worst than you can ever imagine. But for some reason in her head, seven was the worst of the bunch. But it was 1995 and you were, what, 12? Yeah, but I wanted to see seven.

No, I know that. There's a reason. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no. I make sense it, but she never gave a shit about anything else. That's what you have to preface it with because otherwise it's a pretty normal reaction for a parent to have about the movie seven.

You people know me. What do you think happened? What do you think? We know you, but there's people out there in Viewerland that don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Viewerland, does it, do I seem like the product of a place where they were like, let's not let him watch that? Let's like, let's maybe save that.

Maybe that will do something to his brain. No, I was not. I was led to see almost everything except for seven and like it went out of theaters and we were on vacation in Cape Cod and I wanted to rent it and like finally like the wall fell and we all sat and watched it

and like now it's my mom's favorite like one of her favorite movies of course well she talks about it all the time and she's like I don't know why I did that I'm like well I have this list right here I just know that's time. But the only other thing I can remember is I had a very similar situation as him trying to see Mission Impossible Rogue Nation. Oh, really?

Way up in like Traverse City area of Michigan during the summer, storm, like really intense storms come and go very quickly. So I had, I went once with Sov got same thing happened. the storm blew out the power like everybody had to go the place emptied out we had vouchers but two weeks later that was the year that was the summer i was i went to germany so she leaves i have this voucher i decide to go what happens the storm happens again and i got further in i got like a whole hour and 10 minutes but like i don't think i saw the whole thing until i got it like a rented it uh oh wow i didn't i didn't like i think that's the only mission possible i haven't in full in a theater.

That's weird. Wow. All right, we got another one here. Let's see. Upside down and inside out. Oh, hi, gang. Boy, you're carrying me. Upside down.

That's exactly what a round around. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Chris kept it to himself. Now it's in my head. All right, here we go. During college, I was part of the freshman orientation program. We had a full day of.

event that began with a breakfast, meet and greet with parents, that sounds fun, incoming students and orientation leaders. It was our job to strike up conversations and try to make people feel welcome and comfortable with their new adventure. Yikes. One of the orientation leaders walked up to a woman in her son and said heartily, good morning. Has anyone ever told you, you look like Diana Ross? She, no. She smiled and said, Yeah, I get that sometimes. They made quick, pleasant conversation, and he moved on to another family.

About an hour later, we were gathered for a quick break slash meeting, and the faculty supervisors came around with an important announcement and instruction. Diana Ross's son was coming to the school, and she would be with him for orientation today. No.

We were to treat her like anyone else so that she could have a nice, normal day. we had all overheard our buddy's conversation earlier and began laughing uncontrollably while he turned red having realized who he had said that to. When we had come down enough to tell our bosses what happened, they found the story pretty funny as well.

Yeah, I would. Have any of you ever witnessed someone completely botch a celebrity meeting? Thanks for all the fun, Russ and Brooklyn. P.S., the same guy who thought Diana Ross wasn't Diana Ross was also a phytophobic and the orientation

that's a fear of snakes by the way and the orientation leaders all went to see snakes on a plane as a group to the guy's credit or masochism he stayed in the theater

for the entire movie though for most of it he was crouched down behind the seats in front of him and he screamed a lot oh come on man I mean they are computer snakes

for a lot of the movie. I mean, we can just get through it. Or if you're that, if it's that big of a problem, you shouldn't be at the movie. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that to yourself, sir. Dude, like Chris Cabin always says, three words, I got a shit. Sorry, I had to leave the movie, because I had to take a shit. If you have a

specific fear of that thing, they'll understand. They're not going to think you're bailing out on them. It's fine. You know, I have, the only time I could, I had some similar to this happened. I was with, this when I had just moved to New York

I was living with a friend of the show best friend of the show Justin J.Ks and we were at a local Brooklyn market and I saw a guy I was surprised I'm sure this will shock you both high and drunk

and I was in a big market and I saw this guy and I was like that guy looks oh yeah it's like the hair and like we were all Sopranos nuts so I walk out out and Justin is just hanging outside waiting for me. I'm like, dude, there's a guy who looks exactly like Meadows boyfriend,

uh, from season three, the artsy guy, the Finn guy. Oh, geez. Yeah, Sam, I remember Finn. He looks exactly like. I mean, Justin is looking at me like. And I'm like, what? What is it? And then somebody passes behind me.

He's like, it was his. and he just passed behind. He was looking at the back of your head for about 30 seconds. Oh, geez. Because I had been, I had been drunkenly in the middle of the pathway out of the grocery store. That checks out. That's very good at me.

I don't know that I saw anyone ever like biff on thinking someone was one person and then they were another person, but you drunkenly harassing a pseudo-celebrity reminded me of, one time I was walking up 2nd Avenue at like 1 o'clock in the morning to go to the train and I was indeed intoxicated if you can even believe it

saw a famed comedian Todd Barry just innocently standing on the corner of like second and ninth and I was like Todd Barry oh my God Todd Barry you're so fucking fun and I'd like just seen him do a set in Brooklyn like the month before

so I like brought that up And I was like, some other comics on the bill weren't even trying, man, but you fucking kill. And he's like, uh-huh, yeah, thank. Because it's already Todd Barry. So it's always a walking bald, ball of nerves. Comedians love to put down other comedians in public. All the time.

Absolutely, absolutely. And so like his cab came. And this dude, like, he would have gotten a 10 diving at the Olympic suit. It was this primo dive into the cab. Like, I got to go, goodbye, thank you. I really, I gave that that quiet little guy quite the fright that night.

Poor Todd Barry. Yeah, I try to steer clear celebrities, but I see him like, got it. And I'm always, because the spot, I think, is just as as satisfying as the going up and talking to. Like, oh, shit that's that guy. You know what I mean?

Like, the spot, you're good to get the spot. The spot's more satisfying. It is because you get to be like, oh, cool. You know what I saw today? I saw whatever. You know what I mean? That's cool. and then it's like oh but then i went up to whatever and made a total fool out of myself you know what i mean and then you ruined it you could have just had the spot and been like i saw a fucking stephen weber today and also i mean if they're you know dude i wish

hell yeah i'd love to fucking hang out stephen weber um if if they they sometimes they will notice you just like the uh if you the spot don't notice i went i went to this was years ago but i went to see a Brecht play that was being done at like downtown in New York somewhere I was seeing a Bertolt Brecht play downtown huh? The rise and fall of

Arturo something or other it was about the it's like a Hitler play but like he's a grocery store owner instead of a dictator oh that sounds fun it was in it John Goodman was in it. Oh we'll lead

with that they use It's a good play. I mean, they use a lot of music from Tom Wait's blood money in the interstitials. It was great. In the intermission,

John Totur was just in the audience, like hanging next to his seat. And I clearly just made eyes at him very quickly. And like, I was young. I just, I didn't have learned the thing yet, just, you know.

But I didn't go up to him. But then when I was going up to the bathroom, And he's like, hey, and he's like, hi, I'm John Totoro and, like, shook my hand. Oh, wow, the introduction. Yeah, he's very nice. He's a very nice guy. Last act, that Tuturo, man. So they will, like, sometimes they'll be nice and just, like, do it on their own.

Like, it's, you know, because the thing is, you could, they can smell you coming at, you know what I mean? Yep. The look of, like, oh, my God. Whenever I think of, like, a celebrity, like, spies someone who's, like, zoomed in on them, I always think about the, uh, It's the beer-barren episode of the Simpsons where the fucking, whatever, although the righteous invade Moes and Wiggum is like, oh, I'll take care of this.

And he's drunkenly, like, sauntering up. And then it's like Helen Lovejoy or somebody yells pervert. Like, it's just that like, eh, yeah, yeah, come, I'm going to talk to you. Get ready for a fucking horrible conversation. You know what I mean? Yeah, we actually just saw. last weekend or a couple of weeks we saw Catherine Hahn at Film Forum

with her son and they were going to the same Les Samurai screening we were going into. And Jen is like, is that? I'm like, yeah, that is her. And like, she had her son with him. And that's pretty cool. And again, but she kind of gave us the very much like,

I know you know and you know I know. Let's just all move on, folks. I would rather that's where it ends. Yes. Exactly. I have to feel kind of proud of myself in this one instance because my dad is not cool about celebrities. Oh, really? About very particular, like, actors he has a lot of respect for.

Like, if he's in the city and he sees them, he can't help himself. Like, he will just, this is one of his favorite actors of all time to this day, to my chagrin, is Kevin Spacey. how loves him so he loves under the under the sea is a great movie he actually he I think he had it on DVD I do think he had beyond the sea

did your dad fly to like Italy so he could be at that one theater that played Peter 58 on the big screen he did not I'm sure he got the VOD though once that was that parental I'm sure he took the took the ride on that one no

he like he was Kevin Spacey this is like right before COVID. Kevin Spacey's coming out of a hotel that my dad is going into. And my dad, very loudly, in the lobby of hotel,

goes like, it's Kevin Spacey! Get the fuck out of here. And then goes on several weeks later to tell me this story as if I'm going to like, a Roman watching a peasant, a peasant getting eaten by a lot.

like how yes yes dad you did great fantastic the movie which i will do the next time i see him in a crowded event he's over there i'm over here i go detectives detectives detectives he'll run he'll run yeah if you think somebody's coming after him but you got to figure with these guys that like through their fucking career in the garbage right like if you are still going up to them now. Like your dad, right? That must have made Kevin Spacey's fucking day. Like, oh, you're kissing my ass like it's 1998. Like, cool. I have, no. 2014. Yeah, exactly. I get a real, I mean, you get a real view into like the brain of people that you can't imagine because like, my dad still to this day will be like, I, you know, you hear a lot

of rumors about him, but I would love to see Kevin Spacey back in the movies. You know, He's just like, you know, it's miss, I, I miss seeing the guy so much. And he's like, you hear a lot of stuff. Who knows what's going on to think, look, come on. Who knows? Yeah, who knows? He's great at his job. A lot of people are saying stuff.

Who knows? Who knows? That reminds me, though, we got to do fucking K-Pax one of these days. Oh, do you. Absolutely. That's a fairly dreadful motion picture there. You don't need to do, we do, we do do gamer one of these days. Oh, we should do gamer, right?

Yeah. Can we do Gamer sometime this month, like maybe in front of a bunch of people? That'd be fun. Maybe on April 25th. That seems that's an open day for me. Yeah, right. I'm free. Oh, we're all free.

We're going to be in Atlanta doing it. Oh, look at this. We're going to be doing the show in Atlanta, Georgia. Look at this talking gamer, the Gerard Butler movie on April 25th. At that Atlanta City Winery, by the way, they're letting us back in the classy joints, guys. I love it. Pretty excited. With the nice chairs and the nice tables.

Hell yeah. It's something else, man. Nary a fucking mozzarella stick smell the walk through, you know? I got to, I'm not sure about this, but I think this is also

our first return to Neville Dean and Taylor since Ghost Rider. Oh, nice. Yeah, that could be. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, that's gonna be a lot of fun. And then, of course,

in May, the We Hate Movies, Texas Two Step, kicking things off in Houston. Our debut in Space City, folks. we're talking Robocop too which was filmed partially there which is why we're doing had we known by the way that the

great very well known Roy Scheider film Hight game yes was set in Houston you know in the surrounding areas sure shit maybe we would have done that but unfortunately we didn't know that and then the cool thing is now the show won't be canceled

due to the lack of interest so that's cool right that's actually true yeah now people are coming out which is great I I do need to tell you I'm not sure if you knew this already. Part of Robicop 2 was filmed in Philadelphia. It was just some of the cutaways. Not the

big scenes, of course. Those were all done on stages. I just watched, you know, I was speaking of things I just watched this weekend. I watched True Stories. You know who's really big in True Stories? The lead singer of Tito and Tarantula, who's the band in, from Dust Till Dawn.

He plays Ramon in that movie. He's really good right he's really fun yeah yeah yeah yeah from dussle daughter it is that guy uh yeah he's great and from dussie doll were my favorite movies may 15th to 2024 in austin tex one of my favorite cities capsity comedy club you have to come out and see us hell yeah

it's gonna be it's gonna be fun as fuck and hopefully steve won't choke to death you're right there buddy yeah we're making it a little a little bit of a cough there you're getting over a cold too dude this fucking we hit movies cast is getting wiped out man one by one craziness but yeah I think we should wrap it here

we're about at the hour yeah definitely cool with you guys here oh actually shit one last piece of correspondence I just noticed here it just came in over email it doesn't make sense to try to like read the transcript of it

like I don't I'll just play the attachment that comes with it my daughter and I have tried other online casinos but bet fair's the best real players real stories I feel like Betfair is the best bonuses. You've won with a few. That's right. You can play

your favorite casino games anyone on New Jersey. Join today to play your first day risk free up to $200. I've been going to the casino since you had to wear a sports jacket to get in. Yeah, and now my dad plays in his pajamas at home. Play your way at Betfaircicino.com.

I love it. I love it so much. The vowels that happened in that commercial, she says and now, and she goes, and now! Like, and then, and now! And home, obviously, has the A-O-U-M-E. Hello. He plays it in his home.

Madam, please, you cannot refer to his pajamas as his panties. Please don't do that. Play it in his pajamas and home. Home. Dude, I mentioned it yesterday when fuck, man, when the dad is just like, That's right.

Yeah. I don't got to go nowhere. I don't got to leave the house. That's so good. You know, I think I'm going to have to fucking work that into the intro video for every fucking tour stuff in spring. We just got to do it.

We got to do it. We've got to keep this tradition alive now that we found this thing in the wild. If we're doing that at this point, we should be making phone calls if Bethfire casino still exists. Yeah, just make sure we're on the up and out. Yeah. I think I did check recently when we started fucking playing this

and it's still around. But again, it's still I think just New Jersey gambling. So unless you're in Jersey it's just a fun commercial. But that's going to bring this mailbag to a close. Again, folks, if you got something to say or a question or something like that,

right into the mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com. We'll do this again down the line here. But hey, busy as shit. a couple of weeks, of course, leading into this tour, which again, by the way, April 25th, Atlanta, Georgia talking gamer, May the 14th,

we are in Houston, Texas, talking Robo Cup, too, and then in Austin, Texas the next night, 515, that's May the 15th, talking from dusk till dawn. Also, just quick plug the programming lineup for the rest of the week, of course.

Today, we did have a Sheen Pearl continuing here, of course, with the rookie, the Clint Eastwood movie that Charlie's also in. And then if you couldn't tune in yesterday, the audio only

release of on-screen live will be dropping tomorrow. Thursday, it's once in a lifetime. We are back to Dr. Beckland with what the doctor ordered. Yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. Love that Eric Roberts. And then Friday, closing out the week, hell yeah, the Melro 210.

That first, the fucking Beverly Hills episode is just the worst well it's just one of the most awkward things uh Steve Steve you're lucky had to fucking take a sick day on that I was happy about it I did watch it though which actually is kind of the worst of all worlds

because I couldn't even have fun with it yeah totally I'm just watching it now to keep up with the continuity although I have a feeling we're never going to fucking see that school again or maybe we will I don't know that would be uh oh look at Steve teasing are we going to go back to the school

oh no I no no no but I believe Jordan Bonner comes back. Oh, just the kid, but we don't go back to the school. Got it. Well, maybe he'll transfer to Beverly then, or something. I don't know. Anyway, it sounds like Steve's microphone is going to explode, so we're going to get out of your head.

But big time, thanks all for tuning in this evening. By the way, like this video and subscribe to this channel. Help us buck this motherfucking algorithm, folks. Get it to kick into high gear. Like the video, subscribe. Hit that bell, get notified whenever we go on the air. Someone actually

mentioned, you know, just to plug, you know, the worthwhileness of subscribing to the channel and getting the notification. Adrian says they're in from San Diego and hell yeah, they subscribed, got that notification that we were doing this mailbag. Fuck yeah. So that's what we want you to do on top of giving a thumbs up for this video. So that's it, folks. Have a good night. Thanks for tuning in. We hope to see you on the road this spring. Until the next time we open the mailbag, I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Sadak. Chris Cabin. Adios, folks. Have a good night. Bye-bye.