We Hate Movies - S14: WHM Mail Bag - July 2024

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

For this summer time Mail Bag, we're reading wild letters from listeners— including ones about a crazy dad following Dan Aykroyd into a casino bathroom, a teenager getting to hang out with Danny Trejo for an entire day, a movie theater parking lot brawl after a Beavis and Butt-Head Do America screening, a guy who helped someone get laid with a screening of The Notebook & more; we're also answering questions from the audience, and, of course, plugging our SPEED show on 7/18! Be sure to pick up your tickets for our summer time WORLD WIDE DIGITAL EVENT where we’ll be talking all about the action classic SPEED! Head over to Moment dot co slash We Hate Movies and get your tickets now— and don’t forget to bundle in your ticket for the Q&A After Party that’s going down right after the show that night! Can’t make it to the live show? No problem! The show will be available for replay for a full TWO WEEKS after air. So you’ve got 14 days to check out the show after it happens! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new SHEENPRIL, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!  Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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I'm a I'm Oh, hello. Welcome to WHM Mailbag, everybody. I didn't see you there. Come on in, sit down, have a cocktail, kick back. It's the end of the workday. We're going to hear, we are here.

Going to read some letters to y'all, maybe answer some cues, plug some stuff. A lot of fun, fun things happening here on the mailbox. I'm going to bring in. My semi-literate podcasting Brethren. Brethren, my God, I'm not even drunk. I swear to you. This is just end of the day tiredness. Don't get old, folks.

Okay, here we go. First up, you know him, you love him, Mr. Stephen Sadeg. Hey, everybody. How's it going? You just saw LaBette. Yeah, I watched it last night. Yeah. It did a little cheese dinner.

Went to the cheese store, got some cheese, some wine, and, you know, had a nice little meal with a very unsettling movie. Yeah, I was going to say, dude. especially once you get to that like third sequence you're like, I shouldn't have all that cheese. It's just one of those, it's like, oh, French movie, romantic. No, no, no, no.

I mean, there's romance in that movie, but not so, not so much. Yeah, you got to kind of dig through and find it. Yep. It is there. Let's see here. Going to bring in another fella. He's got a shirt open, which I fucking like this.

I'm regretting wearing a t-shirt. Eric Siska. Hello, my God. cocktail sip the talk about wine and cheese. I wish I had a cigarette right now because this is like late Johnny Carson before there were laws in this country type of broadcast.

That's right, dude. That's right. I'm sipping on something. It's a drink that's literally called the Ken Burns effect. I thought it's very appropriate. Is it for our movie show? Does it take you six hours to drink it? No, but every time I take a sip, I got to go like this. I like that. It's coming at you. 3D. We're going to do this

feed. This is going to be retro scanned to 3D next week. Stay tuned to YouTube.com slash we aid movies. You guys might actually like this. It's basically a Manhattan, but instead of the sweet bermuth, you have, do a half ounce

each of maraschino liqueur and sweet sherry. Okay. Yeah. I get it to that. Yeah, no, it's not too bad. Speaking of it, not too bad, our fucking bookworms back. Here's Chris Kevin. No, it's from 1949. It's a Hepburn

and Trace. Hepburn wasn't in bad day at Black Rock. It can't be bad day at Black Rock. And I don't even think that was came out of 49. I think it might I don't know. Is it Adam? Adam. Puzzle time is over. What? Oh.

Isn't this? This is a sit down study hall, right? Wait, copier. Copy her. No. If you didn't bring anything to read, just put your head down on the desk like me and Steve will do. No, I'm not doing. oh okay they're just doing it okay that's all right i'm fine with that how is that errone oh i'm doing okay how's everybody doing steve i'm very happy you saw the beast that it's a wonderful film it rules

really fantastic um yeah i'm back i got some color from portugal it was nice you know how's everybody doing great we've been good dude holding down the fort you know thank you very much doing that yeah fighting off the constant attacks Well, you were on vacation. God damn, those Mongols, dude. Like, we can't build this wall all in all enough. So they came back. They did.

They keep coming back. All right. What year was it when the Mongols ruled China? They weren't kidding about how many kids he had. They're back. I thought you were talking about arachnids at first. That's what I thought that we had been overtaken by the filthy arachnids. I mean, almost.

There's no spoiler. kill three kill three spiders today oh whoa is that right I let them go I took them out son okay

all right did you though did you take him out back and show them what it's like yeah old yeller style hey no spoilers but just going to put it out there a clue for the

very end of season 14 of we hate movies has something to do with arachnids it's true it does it actually does have we actually announced that already and I forget I have no idea it's on the BDD yeah

oh right there's another thing attached to it that'll be fun though yeah but also when I see a spider now in my house I lock the door and I go now you just can't leave yeah you're locked up in here with me not the other way you slice up its arm a bunch

you corner them all in the green room I leave spiders alone because they get they eat the other guys you're doing the Lord's work wonderful I kill everyone you get the gross you get the gross ones indiscriminate violence against anything I see in the house. We got some letters here

to read, of course. Do you want to get right out in front though, with the plugs? Because let's be honest. That's why we're doing this. It's 60 on a Monday. I'll tell you what. Next Thursday. I can't even believe. So not this coming Thursday. But a week that Thursday. Check this shit out. Oh, yeah.

There it is, you guys. The next worldwide digital experience. We're talking speed live on the air much like a format like this differentish platform it'll be a lot of fun and yes we'll be showing our cans we will absolutely willy we'll also be doing a live VHS trailer game

there's points involved for that I kind of didn't fuck anybody over but I realized with our schedule I'm like oh wait I have to wait a long time before I can we can do the finale because of the thing going on next week but I'm really excited about it it's going to be really fun and it's very close

between Andrew and Chris. And me. Eric is still alive. Yes, it is. The champion. The champion still has a chance at the bell. Maybe possibly. We'll see how it goes.

Well, I'll tell you what, I'm excited. It's been like about a year since I've rewatched speed because I got it on 4K a while back. So I'm due. It's only been a year and I'm due. That's how much I love this. I haven't been a long while for me. I think back when I was living with you clowns is probably it.

Oh, shit. Wow. really yeah probably it's been a long long time all the way back when we were in clown college together yes that's the last time when we were in that dormitory remember that r a he was had big shoes he didn't did well i also that's probably around when you didn't have like cable tv anymore for it to be thrown on there every once in a while just to be reminded i watched it about like five months ago because soph had never seen it oh was that right yeah yeah and uh it was it just blew me away it absolutely blew me away all over

I cannot wait to revisit this movie and I cannot wait to revisit it with you my friends. Yes, that's right. Moment.c.o slash we hate movies for those tickets. It is happening, what, next Thursday you said? Next Thursday, July 18th. July 18th.

That's it. Also, when you get them ticks, be sure you bundle in the tickets for the after party because it's going to be like kind of this on like an accelerated scale after we've already done a show. Like the mania set in folks you don't want to miss it shots

no no no we're going to be speeding down some shots of that after party here's over that heat breaks a little bit that'd be nice you know like just to live like a person again if this temperature gets below 80 fucking degrees man the world's not going to survive it's got to be hot

I thought that's what chain reaction was going to be and it was not I am sad to say I was certain that was it thing about chain reaction man i rewatched it like maybe six months ago it's not good it's not like a speed level keanu movie but like there's worse motion pictures out there so would you see you have a glowing recommendation well it's chris to be fair that's a good reaction sure did we do chain reaction i don't remember no we did we did it no we did uh no because here's i know what's going on you would eat or a movie yep the fucking kuba gooding junior ice cream truck

which is actually speed but you can't get the temperature because the temperature of the thing couldn't like warm like cold something or other is a chill factor? Chill factor. 10 big points.

There it is. My back in the rounds. Back in. But yes. We were going to be doing speed finally. And I can't wait. I have been trying very hard to make my Dennis Hopper impression

worse working day and day out and it's uh i think it's really paying off i might try to find a clip for this or something because we just watched it the other night so i think it's because the main character like the host of the show muppets tonight is a is a character that was voiced by kevin clash so like it's not on disney plus but you can find it on youtube they only made like a few episodes of it uh one of them though sandra bullock hosts And they do like a speed parody where they're like, oh, if the ratings on this show go below mark 50, the theater's going to blow up. Got it. And this episode was, I guess, kind of infamous because it was supposed to air on the exact date that was the one year anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing.

So they like, they pulled it and it's sort of like derailed the whole show. but like there is a puppet long way around to get to this. There is a puppet in there, the guy playing the mad anonymous bomber. It's just one of the henson people doing kind of a Dennis Hopper impression. It's pretty funny. That's great. They should have

just rolled with it and they had like little stretchers for little puppet bodies. Yeah, exactly. Then it's now it's also Oklahoma City. It's fine. It's fine. It's good. I drove into a preschool. Oh no. Walk away.

Fossey Nichols was driving the Terry Nichols truck that day or whatever it had. No, turn it off. I don't care if it's live on the air. Turn it off. What am I going to do with all this manure and bags of nails? No, no, no, no, no, no. We don't condone this. Who allowed Timothy McVeigh to do a polish on this script? Who allowed it? Let me know. I always wanted to work in TV. Should we get to some letters, guys?

Sure. We should get to some letters here. Chris Cabin, not only are you our bookworm, you're also our fucking mailman. So what's going on? Postmaster, please. Please, come down. Oh, sure, sure. Come on here.

I think you love this story, so I think you got to do this one, Andrew. Oh, the first one? Okay. It's just because I think it's very funny. And there's a couple of things about it that really worked for me. It's an embarrassing father's story. Yes. Coupled with a comedic actor I really love.

so this is this is gonna be a good one okay although I have to say the subject line of his email sounds like the title of some early aughts J-Lo starring domestic thriller cornered that's the tone I got from what goes on in this is very much

if I was in Dan Aykroyd's shoes I would feel J-Lo cornered are we sure that there's no Raleo a movie called cornered you know just like you know what unlawful entry is one of them. That's true, yeah. 10 points.

Turbulence as well. You can't just get points for thinking about movie titles. Why not? That's what everyone else does. Sure. All right, here we go. Cornered. Hi, W.HM.

Chris's story from the April 2024 mailbag. That was a real banger, by the way. You should go check that out after this one on YouTube. We were also hawking tickets to a virtual show then, I think. Or no, the tour, I believe it was. Anyway, all right, the April 24 mailbag About his dad not keeping his cool Around celebs

It gave me a vivid flashback To a fondly remembered incident from my youth It was sometime in the later 90s I was a grade school I was grade school aged And my family were on one of our semi-regular ski trips Oh

Ah, Steve, hold your time Before you say little rich boy I was this close I know that's right I had to hop in dude Like fucking County Reeves on the L.A. subway system had to hop on board to save you from humiliating yourself

because this guy says before you say a little rich boy they were exclusively Reno Nevada based and heavily subsidized by my dad exploiting casino and hotel promotions as much as he possibly could. Nice okay so this guy is like a

real degenerate gambler and can take his kid skiing sometimes and he kind of knows how to work a system again kind of like Chris's dad and the Columbia Oh, yeah, scammers. This is a classic scammer father. It's not, you know, it's different from the other type.

It's not always nefarious. It's just, you know, really just working the system because there are, you know, there are openings there and you've got to. Oh, my dad was not above a scam for sure. Oh, come on. He liked the old, which I think is incredibly illegal, but I think the statute of limitations is out. The old, you put a paper bag over a parking meter.

Oh, yeah. Out of order, dude. Yeah. What was I going to do? It was out of order, officer. What was I to do? That's awesome. Did he have a stack of paper bags in the car for Oh, you keep those in the glove box? Or do you, you actually recycle it? Like, when you leave, you take it off.

It's not the next guy's problem. Right. My dad wants through, like, a road trip car garbage out of the window so we wouldn't have to stop. Sure. We can continue making good time on a road trip. These Don Draper's your dad, huh? A little bit, a little bit.

Okay, let's see. Scamming these people as much as possibly could. Nothing too elaborate or nefarious, just innocent grifts like forgetting his rewards card in a slot machine and coming back to collect it the next day after the rabble have had a chance to unknowingly rack up points on it. Oh, okay. I don't know how casinos work. Can someone explain that to me?

I mean, I assume the idea is you get reward points forever. every dollar you spend. Okay. If you leave the thing in the machine, someone else is, everyone else is going to do it, apparently. But isn't that like, I don't know,

isn't that kind of fucking risky, though? Then your card, if someone's like, oh, here's this card. But the risk is part of the scammer lifestyle, of course. They have a little bit of it. They can't just be playing it completely safe. But what is on the line here

for these points, this reward system, Is it like a plush cigarette toy? Yeah, dude, it's novelty-sized sunglasses and a huge stuffed cigarette. Give me the giant Teddy cigarette, please. A Joe Camel plush that says that coughed when you hug it. And out of the bag, it says, gambling problem, dial the one day to have gambling.

And as long as you put that phone number off there, everything's fine. It's totally cool. Let's see. Oh, someone says, so Daniel Hood chimes in in the chat. You get points for like a dollar or two on a machine. Okay. All right.

All right. So let's see. Yeah. So that scam was one. Or having my sister and I pretend not to know him in the hotel lobby so he could book discounted rooms with lower max occupancy. Oh, wow. That's really cheap. That's like $5.

Yeah. Yeah. Like you're not saving that much money. And then the last thing you want is to be like, sleeping in early morning you get a fucking cop knock hotel security man like you're getting kicked out I don't know about that

the risk reward there is is low yes well yeah but how else are you going to rack up the points to get a free ribe from the worst restaurant in Reno Nevada like that's there's no other way to do that you'd have to spend $35 on that you don't want to do that and no sides

zero no no no no no look we're getting a steak and then we'll go get french fries at McDonald's later. Yes, they're better anyway. Oh, steak fritz. Yeah, it's the fucking, you know, Nevada steak freets. Steak dot, dot, dot,

freets. Yeah. Steak dot, dot, 45 minutes later, dot, dot, freets. Okay, one evening, we were passing through an indoor area. Steve, I think this is what you were talking about about Vegas.

You can't just walk someplace that everything's connected here. They say an indoor area that connected the Silver Legacy Casino with Circus Circus, Circus. Oh, my God, circus, circus. Did you go there, Eric? Yes, I did.

It's terrible. It's awful. But it's full of clowns and stuff. Oh, real. No, thank you. Well, it's heavily featured in Fear and Loathing, both the book and the movie, I believe. It's the place, I think besides one of those bars in Tennessee we went to, it's the place that smelled the most like cigarettes I've ever been to. Ooh.

Ooh. Yeah. I had a fucking. I had a fucking pulmonary scan after that tour. I'll tell you what. All right, let's see here. One passing, sorry, sorry, sir, it's very close to one of the many tobacco-scented buffets that we frequented, depending on that month's coupons. Yeah, yeah, baby.

When my dad said something to my mom and suddenly took off running ahead of us. We all stood around and waited for him to return while my mom tried to explain to my sister and I who Dan Aykroyd was. Whoa. So this is the late 90s. This is a grade school age. child, much like we were in the late 90s, we're a little older. You had to have known who Dan Aykroyd was.

What are we talking about? Your parents never showed you Tommy Boy? That's their election of duty. I say, get them the fuck out of here. Ghostbusters, great outdoors? I think we're bearing the lead. Like, you know, seeing Dan Acroyd, I'd be like, oh, cool, Dan Aykroyd. Love that guy. Sure. Chasing after Dan Aykroyd, that I don't know about. I was

once chased by Dan Aykroyd. Really? True story. Yeah, I was a, when I was an intern at Conan. He was one of the guests and I went downstairs to leave the show for the day and he was leaving at the same time. And I looked behind me and it was Dan Aykroyd with that baseball cap on, but that face is so recognizable. Oh, sure. And he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, and I'm like, he's back there. But he was going to his car. So he went to his side. Was it like, hey, hey kid, hold the door for me. Hey, hang, hang, hang. No, I think he saw that I recognized him, but didn't like it. Oh, no. So five to 15 minutes later, he returned and explained that he had indeed seen through Mr. Ackroyd's disguise, which this person says is a hat with a built-in wig, parentheses.

I believe it may have been the classic Rasta hat. No. So is he doing training? Yeah, yeah. Do it. Is he doing trading places? Is that what's happening? Is it the last awkward as fuck two minutes of trading places?

was grease paint involved does he really want to be that not noticed trading other places getting ready for the legacy sequel of course like after fucking XLF anything is possible Randolph Mortimer

we're back and we're dead now we're holograms Mortimer can you believe it uh okay Rasta hat yikes and that he had cornered Akroyd in a bathroom oh god

oh perfect after after following a in. He said, you're Dan Aykroyd, which I believe earned my dad a not especially patient. Thank you very much, sir. And a handshake. What, you would you expect crystal head vodka? Also, shaking hands in the bathroom. No. I do not think so. Miss bump. I mean, if it's if you have to touch, if it's the, if it's the hallway before the business has been done, sure, maybe it's fine. Okay. still like you got to know you're in the bathroom play swords right yeah oh yeah you touch you got tips just push him against the wall and say we're sword playing that's it that's what we're going be doing that's a mansion you did dan you wait for him to go to the urinal and you sidle up the exact one

next to i'm like hey dan akrod hey nice cock i i love dr detroit it's it's a phenomenal film you just you just start saying movie titles like when he like when you start hearing him piss you're Blue's Brothers 2000 Dr. Detroit Hey kid I'm taking a piss not a shit Dragnet I find The move is

If he's got a disguise on Leave him alone Yeah It's very clear Yeah I think like you can tell Almost 10 times out of 10 When a celebrity wants to be bothered

When they're really not in the mood for it You know what I mean? I've told the story before. Yep. We were on a roadside, Roy Rogers about to go camping and who should come in while my wife's in the bathroom to get their little kids, Roy Rogers, but Uber Thermon. Holy shit, Uber-Thirman.

She looks exactly like Uber-Thirman. You're not going to hide that. No. No fucking Ross to hat for you, Uber-Termin. And then she's like, I'm waiting next to my, the bathroom waiting for my wife to get out. Oh, man. And she's going to go in the bathroom.

She has to pass me. And I know for a fact. she just kind of gives me this look like no you know what i mean like it's it's a it's a look that says you know and i know and i'm sure you jerked off to me i'm sure it was wonderful wow let's leave it alone you know what i mean and i just gave her that look like yep i get it you know what i'm not going to be like um but i'm sorry but oh my god you know what i mean like Steve i just don't think i think you're leaving something out you were wearing your your famous infomaniac t-shirt and i i really i think that was part of why you maybe got these eyes maybe that was really to

to check you in a little bit. And Steve, there's an update to this story you might not be aware of. Oh, what's that? It is now a chick-fil-A. They got rid of the Roy Rogers. Oh, no. Yes, dude, I was going to bring that up.

So this is what they did. This is what the geniuses of the New York State, like, Thruway, whatever the fuck association, decided it was a great idea. Put in, so there's two things going in there. There's, they knocked the, yes, all the Roy Rogers, I think the McDonald's, like, it's all gone on those three-way rest stops. Now it's, indeed, a chick,

Filet and Burger Kings, but one of your two restaurants in your fucking place where people are traveling rest stop, you know, bathroom restaurant area is a place that's closed every Sunday. There's actually, so giant like signs on the highway that's like closed Sundays. Great. Awesome. Like on Sunday is going to be a fucking subway then? Like what are you doing?

Just forcing people to eat more Burger King, I guess. maybe they're in a pact a little bit. The king is involved. Yeah, yeah. That's all under chestnut market, right? That's what, who took over all these things? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's no ethical capitalism,

but I just still can't go back to Chick-fil-A. It's just like, that's for you folks. You guys enjoy it. I'm not, I mean, I'm not that hard up for it. Like, if I'm fucked in an airport, that's all that's there. Of course, I'm going to eat it. But, like, you know, I live in New York,

I can just go up the streets and the McDonald's. It's going to be fine. You know? Yeah, exactly. By the way, we should mention this acroyd stuff, It's all allegedly. We don't want to get in a hot soup. No, no, no.

If you contact saying that we're talking about bathroom stories, we're in trouble. I'm sure. I heard you're talking about my cock. Are you talking about Blues Brothers 2000? Yeah, yeah. Oh, she finished this email. If you know so much about it, cut or uncut. You got 30 seconds.

I'm going to guess cuts, sir. Damn it. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. All right, I also vaguely recall a detail about Ackroyed having one or more bodyguards who waited outside the bathroom, which is probably true since Googling Dan Aykroyd bodyguard, brought up an old Reddit post about a college student getting roughed up after approaching Aykroyd in an Ontario strip club bathroom in 2001.

Leave Dan Aykroy alone in the bathroom. What is going on? Yeah, now you're approaching him with a hard on. Exactly. Not good. I'm jerking off in here. Excuse me. By the way.

I got cheap perfume and pre-com all over my pants. Could you excuse me? By the way, 10 points to Jimmy Wood for his chat, his cone head. His cone, of course. Well done, dude. And also, great name, Jimmy Wood. I guess my dad got lucky to escape that bathroom unharmed. Thanks for the hours of enjoyment.

Dev from West Sack. Okay. Thank you, Dev. That's what I was guessing. Yes, it must be, right? There's old Sack, too. I'm sure Dev can talk our ear off about that. Angley Sack.

which is an older part of the place. I do think bathroom, you leave anybody alone, your boss, your friend. Like, I don't even, I won't even talk to Andrew in the bathroom. You know what I mean? If we're at the same bar, like, I'm like, oh, should I go to the bathroom? I'm not going to like, hey, man, pretty cool. I'm being at this bar together, right?

Like, it'll be a thing where sometimes, like, we're going to the movies, and then, like, after the movie, we're going to the bathroom. And, like, the walk from the theater seats to the bathroom door, it's a conversation about the movie. and then you will notice, I will shut right down. Once I cross that bathroom threshold, I'm not fucking talking to you

with my cock in my hand. I'm sorry. We're a decent person. When I, my last job, I, uh, every boss of mine was a bathroom talker. Oh, it was like being Ron Livingston where it was a TPS reports, but it's a guy with yeah. Well, that's power. That's all power stuff, Eric.

Clearly they are trying to dominate you. They tried. Well, they did. They definitely. They put a saddle on and everything. In those situations, but it, and it's disgusting. it should never happen. But, like, I also think, like, we, like, I'm sure I have done it before, but you know what it happens is when you're fucking blackout drunk. And then you become quite the chatterer.

That's a conversation. Yeah, that's when I got to, uh, yeah, that's when I got to Todd Barry on Second Avenue. I was. Oh, right. Hey, man, I think that bartender likes me. Yes, she does, dude. She totally does. Yeah.

So, you know, just leave people alone, I think, all around. That's my policy. Let's just not talk to people. Bathroom or no, but I do think that, like, you know, celebrities, people like to see the celebrities, and sometimes celebrities have to be seen. But you'll get the vibe. You can, you can smell it from, like, 30 feet away. Like, this guy just not want to see me today or, oh, what a nice guy he wants to talk.

That's cool. Right. I love you and fucking whatever. I feel more people than not, like, don't have that foresight. right so it can't read the room yeah no exactly it's a lot more chasin dan ac right into bathrooms there by the way someone mentioned let me see if I scroll back in the chat for a second okay Neth in the chat says I guarantee that

Ontario strip club was Fillmore's and you don't need to write into the mailbag or anything but I'm just kind of curious why that stuck out to you in Neth oh Neth also says look at this I took a piss next to Killing Murphy once, and it was really hard to keep my damn mouth shut, but I let him piss in peace. That's right. Jesus. You let, oh, yeah. So you, it pissed

in your mouth? Is that what you're saying? I don't think that's what they were saying. I think that was listening to him, uh, the wind shake the barley right next to him. Oh, that starts hanging. Everybody in the room starts just singing it.

Uh, all right, Chris Cabin. Who's, uh, doing this next one? I'll do this one. I'll do this one. It's a long of one. It was a long boy. Holy shit. A little bit of one. My day with Danny. Another dead acroyd story.

Oh my God. This is a Dan Aykroyd podcast. It is another celebrity story. A slightly more positive one than that horror story that we just went through. Hey, W.HM gang. I have exactly one celebrity encounter that I've been milking to impress friends and board dates for about 20 years now. And I'm just now realizing it would be great for the. mail bag. I want to tell you about

the time I spent a day with Danny Trejo. Now we're parking. Allegedly. I can't remember it was back in 1910. Oh, wow. I can't remember if it was exactly 2005 or 2006, but it was

during one of the two years I attended Arizona State University in Tampa. At that time, there was a series of large protests in Arizona against some racist law that was heavily targeting people, suspected quote unquote of being undocumented immigrants. Sounds like the United States of America.

Sadly does sound like Arizona. As you can imagine what that was going to lead to a lot of police harassment of anyone who wasn't white. So there was going to be a huge march in the streets of downtown Phoenix in response. I attended the march full of thousands of people and brought my camcorder with me intending to make a short film that never came together. uh well that happens i just appreciate that this person used the word camcorder i think that's great well yeah what i mean maybe it was literally a camcorder i don't know that'd be great um once the march

died down and people dissipated i spotted danny trejo of all people just a few feet away talking to the local reporter when he was done i gathered the courage to go up to him and asked if i could do a short interview with him for my film project he agreed and would was super nice about it. First thing you got to know about Denny is that he's a little guy. I'm only 5'9 and I was towering over him. What? I've seen this,

you can see this in like, I could crumple him like a newspaper. I don't know about that. I bet he could still kick your ass. Oh, yeah. I don't know. That machete ain't so sharp anymore. We'll see it.

You know, Zankif doesn't win all the fucking fights and street fighter. It's all about how big and fat you are. That's what I know about old time he wrestling. It's true. It's very true. Eric, did you get Chris's joke? You're Zangy.

I got, yes. Yes, he's a big, nasty one. The hair, of course. When I was kid, my mom's favorite movies were Heat and Conner. So Danny was very well known in our household. Plus, I'm Mexican-American. So it was awesome for me to grow up watching someone who looked like me being such a badass in action movies. That's awesome, but also your mom fucking primo taste in movies.

Absolutely. No, those are classics, but not much of a hero in con. on air, I'll say that. No, no, not great. No, but you know, a lot of screen time. How about that? Also, not a huge role model in heat either, but you know,

keeps it to the chest. It's a little better. But I love seeing him when he shows up, you know, Danny Trio's a great flavor in a movie. Loved him in the original Nosferatu, of course. We've talked about a walk-on roll because he's banned in every movie since the invention of cinema. Absolutely. It was the assistant in that.

Hey, Hey, kid, where's Scottsdale, Danny? asked me. I told him it was only about 30 minutes away from where we were and he asked if I could give him a ride to his hotel. Okay. I decidedly said yes without wondering for a second

why this celebrity was in Arizona at all much less why he needed a ride from a teenager. Turns out there was a film festival happening in Scottsdale and he had produced a movie that was showing that night. He had a driver that picked him up from the airport and took him to the hotel.

But when Danny saw the mass protest on he told the driver to drop him off wherever that was because he wanted to march with us with his people the driver understandably didn't think it was a good idea because he didn't know how he could find Danny and get him back uh and so why wait wait wait hang out so we're talking oh five yeah there's cellular telephones like I guess is Danny Trejo famously like maybe back then like hey man I'm not carrying a fucking cell phone man no goes where the wind takes him right later he does but I I didn't think about that but like yeah I mean also like if you have to drive through it after a parade you're probably annoyed as hell yeah I don't know what kind of limousine or whatever this was so who knows um in Danny's words though with all these Mexicans here I know somebody will will would have my back that's awesome yeah and it turns out it's correct uh during the car ride we chatted about movies and he was extremely down to earth guy he even let me bum a a couple of his cigarettes.

Danny Trejo is a guy that I would like fake say I smoke. Oh yeah. You want a cigarette? Yes, absolutely. Give me, I'll smoke fucking four at once, Danny Trejo. Is that what you want me to do? Yeah, yeah. And then he's like, oh, I didn't know you liked to get wet. PCP. But naked. Yes, Danny Trejo. As much as you can shove in my mouth. At a red light, Danny pointed out to me that there were two botacious babes in the

our next one. Dude, did he use the words bodacious babes? I hope so. He's the right age for bodacious being. That's true. If you're listening to this, please confirm whether or not the letter writer. I want to know if it was bodacious or not. You know how to impress a girl like that? He asked me, you

offer them a massage because you know their back hurts from carrying all that shit in front. Wow. He's talking about the bazoombas. Yeah. Yeah. I should, well, this guy at least knows what's going. I know that sounds kind of scuzzy now,

but you have to understand I was a dweeby nerd who was who was terrified to even talk to girls back then, and one of the coolest motherfuckers to ever live was broying out with me about chich. Oh, of course, but all, dude. Oh, yeah, you're at your time. You're talking titty with machete. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We were in college around one once a time in like, well, I think both Meshais were after. college. But even then, I would have been like, sure, let's hear it. I want to hear what Danny Trejo's thoughts on this. Oh, hey, hang out a second, guys. In the chat, sorry.

Longtime listener, I believe we've met him on the road as well. The classy alcoholic is the writer. He says he did not say bonacious, but the classy alcoholic did. I see. We got a line to the letter writer live here in the chat. Thank you for confirming this.

You don't need to impress a lady with a line if you're writing up with Danny Treo. You just open the window and be like, this is my buddy Danny Trejo. We're talking about Al Pacino in here. Who he knows. Yeah, and then they'll be like, that's not Danny Treo. That's some like dolled.

It's some doll man you have. Dan Trejo's a tall action bad ass. Help him out of that car. Can't you see? His legs can't touch the ground. That's a Chucky doll with a long mustache. My buddy. Yes, my buddy. Me, Amigo and me.

precisely things took a turn when he got a phone call from his wife apparently so he had to have a cell phone apparently she had gotten to the airport and someone from the film festival or whatever was supposed to send a car for her but there was no

one there and she was just waiting around not knowing where the hotel even was oh shit man Danny lost his shit as he should he started straight up yelling about how it was fucking bullshit that they left her stranded there, how he was

going to choose someone's ass out. Yep, love it. I started getting nervous and it's not like I was that good of a driver then anyway. I had to pump the brakes really hard to avoid hitting a car in front of us, which made it fluidly into Danny's

rant. The sentence went something like, I can't fucking believe this shit. That's fucking ridiculous that they would do that to you. And I'm riding with this kid who's going to kill me. oh christ wait that might be a good name for yourself if you could go back in time kill danny treo you could be the i'm the guy that bested him i know it was an auto ragged what you would do is you would have to kill ernst louvish because he gave him his first job

you would have to make sure that he you know got out of the way um we finally got to the hotel he brought me up to his room to give me a lanyard with a VIP pass to the film festival that's so Hell yeah. He shooed me away to fix the debacle with his wife and told me to come to the movie theater later that night. When I got there, the lanyard allowed me to bypass a huge line in someone, someone escorted me inside, treating me like I was important or something. I'm really glad that that was the case because it felt like it was going to be like, and the barcode was forged and they were bootleg passes and I got arrested. I know. Actually, you have to get your tickets at the other location. It's about 10 miles on the road. Then you're come back and wait in the line you've got the blue badge the blue badge is that line yeah i'm sorry but like can you keep it moving for me you guys are all describing what it's like to fucking deal with going to south by by the way that's the exact the registration is down at this part of town but the movie theater that you're at right now is three miles away oh what that's great um danny had produced a movie called nice guys starring jason muses and david faustino no oh no no way

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. David Fustino, the only man in Hollywood that he's taller than, so there you go. True. It's true. So, my God, he's been destroyed. He's been ruined with this movie. No wonder is to be back. I produced the movie starring Bud Bundy. That guy was towering over me, man. What a presence. I put $50 in to cover the Fritos they had on set that day, so they called me a producer. The movie was, I looked it up, by the way, movie renamed High Hope.

Well, it's he's about to get to this. Oh, sorry, I didn't. Among others, I can't remember. I later saw the movie pop up on Netflix under the title High Hopes. Sure. Yeah, you will fucking change that title after some initial bad reviews. Absolutely. Oh, I might see this.

Edward Furlong. It's kind of. What's the plot description, dude? What are we talking here? Andy Dick. Oh, no, that's not the plot. Let's see what the plot says here. This summary is a little long.

Hollywood hopeful Tom Murphy and his posse of pals conspired to get into the big weeks. Is it a pussy posse, do you think? It seems slightly pussy-esque. They pin their hopes on the industry success of Tom's famous girlfriend starring in their first feature, but falls to pieces when she dumps him.

Tom and his pals learn of another possibility and devise a plan to steal a fence case of government-issued marijuana returned to the FBI for the reward money to finance their movie. however a scorned girlfriend and her deaf mute

brother have other plans I hope so theaters in 2006 and one film festival I guess in theater in theater we fucking forewalled a theater probably in Scottsdale

I also don't remember much about it except it was kind of funny I question that but maybe there was a VIP after party near at which I met up again with Danny. He introduced me to his wife, an agent, and went on and on about what a good kid I was and how I helped him out earlier

that day. Everyone was super nice and I got to shake hands with David Faustino. Nice. Did you bend down to do it? Faustino with Dave Faustino and tell him that I was a huge fan of married with children growing up, as was I. I bummed another

of Danny's cigarettes and eventually felt awkward being there, considering I wasn't even old enough to drink. I said goodbye to Danny and his wife and never saw him again. That's all guys. Thanks so much for all the great content you put out. And I wish you many more years of success, Louise, from Tucson.

Thank you, Louise. Thank you. Classy alcoholic. Also, I mean, you're never going to see him again. What he was? You're going to give you a Christmas card. It's not going to happen. You know what I mean? You had a nice day to do it. Day Treyo. Let it live in Amber. Like a full day. That's pretty cool. Also, Louise, I'm curious

man, what film festival was it? I'm very very very the uh jason muses film festival don't they didn't they say i think scottstale didn't they said oh yeah scottstead it would be in scottstead i don't know if it's but yeah is it like the scotsdale international film festival is i'm sure it's just that low rent probably you know the fucking direct to streamies film festival etc the scotsdale film collection we just got a couple we don't really it's not really

we're not festive really we just got them here you know what's not a direct to streaming, but we'll be direct to streaming is our show on Speed next Thursday, July 18. They're going to be talking about one of the biggest blockbusters of all time, one of my favorite blockbusters of all time. Speed. It's going to be awesome, man.

I'm super fucking excited. I think there's like some sort of energy in the universe, the fact that I got to that Sandra Bullock episode of Muppets Tonight with a speed parody. Nice. The stars are aligning, man. The stars are aligning. Love what that happens. Also, can you put up the a graphic again, please.

Absolutely. Now, you got to respect this. Philippe took five days getting that hair right for Andrew. We've got messages from Philippe. Thank you so much, Philippe. And he really just knocked it out of the park. And yes, this will be available in the merch store as well, tepublic.com

slash whatever our name is. You could find a link on our website, WHMpodcast.com, but please check out the show. Bundled with the after party will be unclassy alcohol. that evening. You definitely want to be at the after party because, you know, when any big controversy happens, you want to know where the beginning of the lawsuit was. You know, you don't want to be lost and know what was the starting point.

No, you'll know. You'll be there. If this is in response to my question about the film festival, the classy alcoholic says that part of their memory is gone due to years of heavy drinking. That's what I did. A little bit. Classfully, though, yeah. Classy, classy memory hole.

but it looked like the release info on IMDB I looked back at it said Phoenix Film Festival okay okay interesting oh the Phoenix Phil Vestal and Scottsdale yeah yeah just up there out of the Scottsdale

don't worry it's the same thing it's a Scottsdale shut the fuck up the New York Film Festival and Troy New York exactly exactly I get a little

press release for like an upstate film festival I won't say the name of it but it's always like here's like 20 events that are happening at this film festival and three of them are movie screaming so it's like yeah yeah a discussion

festival anyway let's let's get along here Steve why don't you do this one I sure can this is the notebook effect hi WHM big fan of the podcast and love hearing Hello movie nerds like you guys

making terrible movies hilarious. Well, thank you. Thankfully, I'm old enough to tell the story. But in the good old days, I'm old enough to tell the story, but in the good old days of working at video stores, I was an employee at Blockbuster. That's the road that I never took. I always wanted to work at Blockbuster. Never could get that job. They didn't want me. They did not want me.

You weren't Blockbuster material. I was not. Hollywood Video deemed me unfit to work. at them yes well they know a red vine's thief when they see one yeah sure yeah they just got eyes for that stuff uh i saw a lot of crazy things in my day uh they're they're they're like uh there's a lot of crazy things they're in my day they're like someone walking around for an hour until until asking us where the red curtain room was yeah that's yep that was not a blockbuster did you guys have not buster an urban legend about blockbuster though where it was like oh there is a fucking there's a secret room you gotta ask for it

yeah i think i remember hearing that like as a kid well what are the humiliating thing is to ask for pornography and like as a pornography in general is humiliating but if the answer is no it's triply humiliating you know what i mean you you definitely want to write this way exactly say we don't sell that here sir you're gonna have to jerk off somewhere else creep no no crazy Chris, do you remember the theater 11? No. At the multiplex, when

new like usher kids would start working, we would all do this thing where it's like, okay, so it's a 10 screen multiplex, but then of course, you know, it's one through 10 is the general releases, and then there's theater 11 up the stairs on the side of the projection booth.

And like, fucking time it again, it would be like, well, what's in theater 11? And we'd be like, well, that's, that's where the pornoes are shown. The goon cave. You could get like one of the dumber kids for like a couple of weeks. They'd be like, when can I see theater 11? Whereabouts is this theater 11?

Oh, no, you got to be here at least a month until you clean theater 11. Well, first of all, the last thing I want to do is clean the fucking porno theater. Thank you very much. No, thank you. So, um, red curtain room, someone yelling at me for being out of Alvin and the Chipmunks live action on the day it came out rent. That's just what happens to do the releases, baby. They go up like that. Yeah, you get your ass to the fucking store earlier.

What's it, you know, that's your problem. My manager making us all play the porno movie name game. He would make us make up porno movie names for a stack of movies. And if we couldn't, he had, we had to put the stack back on

the shelves. I was surprisingly good at. So I guess, this is, hey, there's a big stack who wants to do backdraft. So you, yeah, I think you have to, like if it's three of them or so, you have to make a porno out of all those words. And I think this should replace the VHS trailer game. Whoever's best at making naughty,

Randy movie titles out of other movie titles. And I bet I know who's best at that. We don't know. Maybe somebody who brought it up. I don't know. Wait, the guy, yeah, the guy is this guy. What's Christopher from Utah. No, no, yeah.

Jimmy Woods on fire and it with Astraft. Yeah, that would be a good one. tell you what i like ass draft i like assraft i like assraft quite a bit jimmy you gotta be on the show buddy a pussy 13 a pussy 13 fucked away

fuck the way fuck the way sure see you guys still not impressed with the porno title game you still win uh here we go um i was surprisingly good at it uh and a crazy person who always

putting red box movie at our drop box despite us telling them many times to not do that. This story was one of the weirdest ones. One night a guy was rummaging through the rom-coms until I asked him what I could do to help. He flat out told me the movie, he thought it asked me what movie he could rent to help him get laid on a date.

Oh, man. This is almost as bad as asking for the pornography section and not getting it. Exactly. This isn't fucking hitch, dude. Keep moving. You know what I mean? Just do whatever.

It's 2004. The only thing I could think of it was. the notebook. He grabbed from the new release section and immediately made him ring it up. I had to open the next day and completely forgot that happened the night before until the guy came in

shortly after he opened and asked for me. I assumed I did something wrong and he had gotten a complete when my manager called me up, but until he said this customer needed to talk to me. The guy walked, had me walk somewhere where no one was around and hugged me saying

holy shit dude that movie got me super laid last night thanks you he then left and i never saw him again how about not a hug give me a tip you know what i am i am disgusted at this writer i'm sorry you're probably a very in this scenario when some asshole comes up to you and is like get me laid please what you do is you show them to john carpenters the thing yeah you or i don't know i mean probably maybe not irreversible maybe that's too going too hard. What are you fucking doing, dude? Salo, yeah, there we go. Saylo, look, the horror.

This is what I find just like really grossly unbelievable about this story is the fact that supposedly according to this guy, this work. Because I don't know if you guys remember the notebook. That's a devastating end to that

movie. Sure. How the fuck anyone can like work that into now I'm getting hard, and let's get down. Maybe her partner died, her previous guy. She might just be into death in general. But also, I really do have to highlight. Ryan Goslings has nice muscles in that and looks very cute.

Sure. And he's in a lot of it. Yeah. But like one of the last things you see in that movie is Jenna Rollins and James Gardner holding one another as his brain fucking disintegrates inside his head. That's funny. I do get that. And it is a little funny.

But the theory, I think, is that you would get in so deep into the Ryan Gosling McAdams part of it. You would not have to finish the movie and see the devastating end for these two people. Oh, that's true. That's very true. Making fuck on your bed. You're in the middle of like, Walt, Walt, while before the all the numbers even kicked. I have not even seen the movie. I know I should.

Everyone loves the notebook. No, you don't. I remember the clips of him being all wet and there's like wet kisses and it's raining and they're like kissing. once you get to that part of the movie dude yeah the clock is ticking because Alzheimer's is creeping into this movie and no one's getting closed you gotta close the deal right then and there that's what i'm saying dude that's what i'm saying you have up until the rain portion where he's like what do you want like or whatever that line is and like because it's winding down the fucking sand is almost through the hourglass and nobody's getting laid i get to the end of the notebook i i get it oh so give us

We'll give him a good alternative. There's a Henneke's a more. Yeah, there you go. It's a more. Excellent. Got me laid. Got me late a lot. Have you guys ever had weird moments like that working at the theater or anything?

I love the show so much. And I've been enjoying the archives as well of the Patreon content. Thank you so much. You guys are amazing and make my workday hilarious. Thanks for all you do, Christopher from Utah. If you ever wondered why someone a blockbuster would hold back a laugh, this is a PS. Jordan wondered why someone a blockbuster would hold back a laugh to try to be

stone-faced when pulling up your account it was because the employees would put hilarious and random things about members and their account notes so we knew which account we pulled up so like oh this guy my stepmother's an alien 13 times Mr. shit breath

asked me where the red beaded room was before we Before we continue talking here, we got a paid remark. So we got to acknowledge the generosity here. Mark Burgess, hey, Stephen, have you watched Blood in, blood out yet? I gifted slash Burden View with the DVD in Hotlanta.

I have not because I gave that to my good friend Andrew Jupin to have because he was like, because I had seen Blood and Blood and Blood out a long, long time ago. And it was like, ooh, that sounds cool. So Andrew, the question is, have you watched Blood and Blood Out? No. but it is there it's there it's here no it's it's right here it's right here

it is in the WHM studio nice no I have not watched once I have not watched once you get past the second Eric Romer box set from Criterion that you haven't watched then you can get to blooded black and he also got through

but he's been watching a lot of come in come out yes oh that definitely a real classic you think you're fucking joking about those of box sense. Oh, I know. I know exactly what's happening. Daring at me. No, I mean, I didn't work in the theater.

No one does ever try. I worked in a gym for a real long time. A lot of dudes were sucking each other off at the steam room. Yes, they were. Which, yeah, so they were getting laid in the steam room, but it was always, I'd close. I'd flick the lights on and off. It'd be like, all right, whoever's going to get out there, let's go. Yeah, let's finish up in there, fellas. Exactly.

Sure enough. One guy would walk out very fast and then beat beat beat another guy walk out really back yeah well you don't want to walk out at the same time then they're going to know what we were doing i can't finish to the kid at the front desk says get out of here i uh no you know we had nicknames for customers like there wasn't a um there wasn't a database that you would pull up or anything like that but we had a guy who dressed kind of like a pimp sometimes and talked with a Tim Meadows ladies man affectation.

So we nicknamed that guy the pimp. He was a very loudly well-dressed individual. He was also a family man. The one story I remember about the Pimp was one time they came in, he and his lady friend, and they were going to see, he was like Monsters Inc. came out,

and this dude is like decked out, looking fucking fantastic for a Saturday matinee of Monsters Inc. And he comes up. And he's like, he's like, hey man, how long is this movie? And I was like,

oh, it's about 90 minutes. And he belts across the lobby to his lady friend who was like, I think still buying the tickets with the kids and he was like, yo, Robin, it's 90 minutes. Just like the loudest you've ever heard anyone yell at them all. And like we would just like say to each other and that we'd be like, yo, Robin, it's 90 minutes.

We quoted that for years on end. You know, there was like things like that. But I wish we had like a database to be someone like swipes a credit card. it's like, oh, rude motherfucker when he came to see Ocean's Club last week or, you know, whatever. Yeah, I don't, I remember a couple of customers definitely, like,

when a movie that like, like, wild things, there's, like, it wasn't wild things, but like a movie like that where the commercial made you think there's going to be a bunch of nudity. Sure. You would get a couple of customers who 100% would be coming up to you, so like, so what do you see?

Oh, God. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, what do you see? Like, that You didn't get it a lot. It was usually older guys, I got to admit. Yeah. Steve DeG says, Chris on it, not Mr. Skin. Get the fuck out of here. I was trying to get a job at Mr. Skin at the time.

I was trying to put my moves on. I had not thought about that in a while, Chris, but that definitely happened to me too. Like, you're tearing tickets and it's just like, do you see this yet? Yeah, I did. So, uh, who's tits are in it? Like, I think it definitely happened for the second American Pie movie. that was definitely a thing I remember working there at the time for that

I think also possibly even American wedding had a little bit so I know it's about a wedding but what tit should we talk? Do you finally get those handigan titties year after year for the handigree? Do you get Eugene Levy? Who's

you got to tell me who's titian it and castaway? Mostly Tom Hanks. I'd be honest with you there, sir. All right, Mr. Siska. I think we got one more email. Oh, my goodness, we do. And my throat's going out from doing all those old man voices. So I'm going to have to read this as an old, um, you can pull it off, dude. You're the throat goat. Yeah, yes, you are. I am. Now that Nancy's gone runner up here.

I actually saw you at the gym all the time, Steve. Oh, yes. I didn't. I was quickly getting out of that. I know, it's even. Okay. So, great. Okay. The title of the email is crazy Chris. Is that about you? No, a different crazy Chris. Crazy Chris and Joe do fighting. Do fighting. Okay. Hey, gang, love the show. I discovered you guys while listening to an episode of Talking Simpsons a couple years back.

That's great. Love those guys. By the way, I'm going to plug it later as we wrap up. You might be hearing some Talking Simpsons guys on Tomorrow's We Hate Movies. Actually, there's no might about it. definitely will. You absolutely will. Yeah, those are great, great fellows.

We love being on their show, and it's fun to have them over on this side of the park as well. So, yes, a couple years back, and you very quickly became my favorite podcast. Well, thank you. Thanks a lot. I wish I had found your show sooner, but I'm enjoying the fact that I have a large library of back episodes to go through, and all the great past content that is available on your Patreon. Love that shit. That's got to be pretty cool.

like if you're new to the show and you're like oh this beverly hills cap three episode was pretty funny let's see what else they've done you're like oh holy fuck they've done a lot well let's run them through it okay so you go to patreon dot com it's ht t p s all right all right colon slash slash a macaroni and cheese to make here but check you know check out the patreon there is a lot a lot on there okay so i've recently started going through your movie commentary tracks and i'm thoroughly enjoy it. My throat. Oh. I need one of your fellas to top me off.

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I love that. Not planned, but if we're ever in trouble, we can cut to commercial. Where is good to go. Buy ourselves a solid 30 seconds to regroup. So he's enjoying the Patreon society, and Terry, et cetera. So this is a story about an incident that I witnessed during the opening weekend

of Beavis and Butthead Do America. Classic movie, by the way. I was in the seventh grade and the long-awaited movie was opening on Friday at the start of our Christmas break. Being the age that I was, I was absolutely going to the movie on opening night. Fuck yeah.

The theater that evening was filled with fellow classmates and people of a similar age. It felt very much like a school function in that regard. I recall really loving the movie and I always remember on later viewings my dad cracking hysterically up at Robert Stacks' characters

overzealous use of cavity searches. Now that I think about it, my dad would also constantly quote Chris Walken's pocket watch scene from Pulp Fiction and I thought that was the funniest thing you'd ever see that your dad is an ass guy and let you know that, your dad is an anal master.

It was in his ass! one year for Halloween one year for Halloween my dad when as the guy from girl with the dragon tattoo gets the dildo kicked up his ass he thought it was hilarious he doesn't know any Seinfeld episode except for the one with the proctologist

that's the only one right your dad's at home sitting on his own facility Jerry I like the idea of the Halloween you're just a guy in his suit then I was like oh what are you supposed to be like a lawyer and then you turn out no no no see that dildoes up my ass.

That's something. Yeah, of course, remember, Girl with the Dragon tattoo, right? She got me. Anyway, following the movie, the crowd of teens and tweens in attendance spilled out into the front of our small town movie theater to wait for

their parents, whoever, to pick them up. As I walked out, an argument could be heard starting up. As I made my way through the crowd, I finally saw that there was a fight beginning to break out between a pair of local bad ass. kids in airfield. Yes. Oh yeah. Dude, we all had badass kids in our towns. Chris Cabin was a couple years older than me and accurately nicknamed Crazy Chris by his peers. Yeah, I was I was known as

Cracking Cabin. Because I would crack your back. Cracking ass. Yeah, also that. The other kid, Joe, was a few years older than me and was someone I was familiar with. He rode my bus in the mornings would often regale everyone with the stories of drinking, smoking, and other things that a seventh grade dork like me could only dream up. Why couldn't the other guy, like, why doesn't the other guy have a nickname?

Smelly Joe. Smelly Joe, Psycho Joe. Loppy Joe. Sloppy Joe. I think, yeah, okay, let's get to it. Let's see if he gets sloppy in this. Okay, so he, who tried the darned us to be hard, but seemed like he was fake in the funk when compared to a guy like Chris. Wow.

This was the real deal. Apparently, no air quotes for him. Both were not dudes you want coming after you, but Chris came off as the more real deal and a true psycho. So back outside the theaters, these words were exchanged between the two of them. And I remember Joe being knocked to the

sidewalk after the two came blows. Well, that says it all right there, doesn't it? I mean, crazy, Chris, it's already like dominating her. I'm all right. I'm just, I'm confused. I hope, I don't know if it comes up here. What starts a fight after Abivas and Butthead? It's a great question. Yeah, I really, go on, Erica. Maybe, you know, the badass contest that they're had. Yeah, that is a good question.

I guess maybe they just knew each other through the. Oh, yeah. It had to, you know what it was. I feel it was thinking it was nothing to do with the movie. It was a slight over like, because like, you know, kids like this are so fucking stupid, right? It's like, sure. Someone, you like accidentally as you're walking out of the crowded small town movie theater bump into somebody. Hey man, you got a fucking problem. No, man, it's just a fucking crowded exit way and I accidentally brushed your shoulder. But sure, I have a problem. Like those kind of people.

Oh, yeah, that does make sense. Sometimes when you have a bad day, you got to go looking for a fight. Being that it was around Christmas time, everyone had their winter gear on. And I specifically remember Joe wearing a big ass Orlando Magic starter jacket. nice which was the style at the time of course absolutely absolutely you would buy starter jackets for teams you didn't necessarily root for in some cases i had a charlotte hornet star started jacket why everybody did blue and purple was a dynamic combo it was it was pretty great like yeah sure i was kind of a mugsy bogs fan i guess but and you had that that evil bug on the back that's scary

he was bad ass did he'd sting you i don't like him i'd kill him just like the spider no i'd let him outside let him outside okay after being dumped to the ground joe rolled over at his back and started to fish something out of his one of his sleeves in his opposite hand it turned out he was reaching for one of those novelty baseball bats they saw at baseball sure of course i guess those little bats right like yeah not the big yes no it's like it's like a foot and a half long kind of little that is that is the samurai sort of the degenerate bullet You know what I mean? That is their stock and trade.

They have it. You really can't get any more degenerate than this, right? Like pulling a novelty little baseball bat out of your starter jacket in the parking lot of the movie theater where you just saw the Beavis and Budhead movie, supreme degeneration. This is a classic American story. I love this. Upon seeing it, I remember hearing Chris say, oh, you're pulling weapons on me now? Oh, shit. Joe had also begun to try and stand back up

and he was still on one knee. Chris then proceeded to do what I can only describe as a downward slashing elbow across Joe's face, opening a large gash across his forehead. Was this at Ringo Lamb High School? What the fuck? Yes, I think it might have it.

What the fuck is going on here? No, they were aboard an aircraft carry, you see. And then everyone behind those, realizing that the fight was over Chris proceeded to take off into the night and Joe was left there bleeding profusely from his head with the giant crowd of his classmates standing around gawking at all the blood dude this is like when George McFly gets fucking Biff tan and dude reverse maybe

you don't want to be talking here's the thing if you're not a true tough guy you talk shit at school because the good news is It's going to get broken up real quick. You're in a fucking movie theater. Nobody cares about anybody. You're going to shit kicked out of your parking lot. All bets are off. I can still remember him with help walking back into the theater, his face covered with

blood, his friends yelling, where's the fucking phone? And the woman who ran the theater yelling back at him to watch his language. Lady, there's a child bleeding in your fucking lobby. Why don't we worry about profanity later? An ambulance was called? Oh, my God. feel terrible Joe's parents probably went into medical medical debt and died penniless after this.

Oh, no. Never, in America, never get an ambulance. No, never, not once. You just had to take that baseball bet to the movies. And Joe more than likely got a few stitches put in his head. Yeah, that's $75,000. In America, that is literally $90,000. Yep. It's worth of a college degree, three stitches. my fellow seventh graders and i now tell us and now had a story to tell others that we were not there and it was something that has always stuck with me over the years have you guys ever been involved in or witness to any kind of theater related kerfuffle of this kind over your years ago into

the movies thanks for all your time and for all the laughs i work as a delivery driver listening to you guys makes the days and nights i work fly by i hope uh i hope to be listening to you guys for many years to come. And I hope to eventually catch a live show. You guys are the best. Nick from Minnesota. Well, thank you, Nick. Oh, thank you, Nick. For Minnesota.

That was very nice. Fights at the movies, like, I'll tell you, the most kind of fighting I've seen at the movies is from like wealthy, elderly film at Lincoln Center people who just will fucking

snipe at you until the cows come home about their reserves. see whatever perceived fucking slight against them because they give $5,000 a year to yeah of course that's more the kind of the shit there yeah i've you know i already told the swat story you could find that anywhere on this podcast you haven't heard it yet keep listening you'll get there is that in bruges or was it swat it was in oh that's thank you chris yes it was in bruges but i think it was on the swat episode yeah where an old man across the street

from Lincoln Center at the that big AMC up there oh the Lincoln Square yeah was yelling at me for eating popcorn so I threatened to beat him and his wife that's of course as one does yeah I mean the thing about you know living in New York man is you mind

your own fucking business so like for the most part you just got to keep it quiet like I've told the story before I think a few times but like you know I went to see the fifth Harry Potter movie Order of the Phoenix with a couple of friends or maybe it was just one friend were you there for this Chris or no

no I but I've heard this for like a dozen times and it was like it was up on the Upper East side in Yorktown that old 86th and third movie theater that was up there and it was just like a couple of kids like talking shit during the movie and like yes it was annoying but like my friend that I was with turned around and yelled

like shut the fuck up and it just turned into like these dudes like threatening us quietly the whole movie like just wait till we get outside motherfucker you're watching the movie now just wait do you get and it's like they were just teenagers so it was fine but like at the time you're in a dark theater you don't fucking know what's going on

and like someone's just jawn at me about that I just mind your own business I have a good time shushing an old lady that's for sure oh nice yep yeah you gotta know who you're shushin and pretty pretty soon time will shush her for us

yes indeed might have already done it um yeah and as far as like seeing things like as a theater employee i don't know if there was ever i don't recall any like fights at the multiplex i remember one time my brother and his friends came in and the one friend like had drank way too much and that kid like vomited in the women's restroom uh so he was having a horrible night they had to like call his mom and shit but yeah no no fighting i don't think uh want to jump in here this very uh donate uh generous kick-in here from Brendan Neeland. So we've got to

acknowledge this cue here. I have Death Becomes her in my queue, but any other camp comedies that we'd recommend. I met you guys at the Toronto and New Jersey live shows hanging onto Eric's creepy face masks from the VHS trailer game. Thanks for all the laugh. Wow, it's nice

to know that, yes, I had that white weird mask and I threw it out in the crowd in Toronto. I assumed it when to the trash. This crazy person kept it, and it's got my DNA on it. and now they're going to start killing people in it. That's right. I got to go to the campiest comedy of the mall, Batman 66.

Everyone in that movie is fucking hilarious, throwing heaters. It's, you know, a little tall glass of water would really help you out with that. But I have a lot of fun with that film. And you know, you can't go wrong with like John Waters stuff. Just start going through. Totally. Serial mom. Serial mom just added to Netflix recently, I think, actually.

they're all good John Waters rarely misses I have found I think I have seen all but like two of his and all of them rock especially his early stuff's incredible can't be shit like

killer clowns from outer space is a fun can't be like horror comedy you know I rewatched recently and I totally did a 180 on it because I saw it once as a kid possibly in theater Doctor Detroit

finally no no I think I was well into my 20s before I was graced with watching that movie. No, the Brady Bunch movie, the first one, anyway. That's a good camp comedy for sure. Campe comedy. Camp comedies are like meatballs. Right.

Ernest goes to camp. Check it out. Camp Candy, you know, that thing. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Where was Camp Candy airing, I wonder? That should be in full on the fucking streaming platform. What is that? Is that the location from Django Unchained? No, that is. John Candy had a cartoon series

Very briefly called Camp Candy Oh, if that exists, we got to do it on animation damnation on our Patreon Have we not from that? We probably haven't, I guess, yeah. I think we did Gravedale High. That's right. We definitely did an episode of Gravedale High. Greg Buffuto chimes in here and says,

Theater Clearing Brawl, the opening night of American Gangster at the Bay Plaza Cinema in the Bronx. He wasn't there, but it was notorious. Yeah, I mean, you go to that thing, you go to the Bay Plaza Cinema on an opening night after dark, you're not having it. I went there

quite often. I was mugged once. It was great. That was my theater, the Bay Plaza. That I believe we've talked about is the only movie theater in the Bronx right because of weird no shit going on. Of course. Which is really fucking terrifying. Camp Candy

is on YouTube. Oh, really? Now we are. talking. Yeah, folks, so that's it. That's all the letters we were able to snag for this episode. But of course, next Thursday, so not a few days from now, but the following week from now,

718, we are going to be live on the internet. Moment.com. Slash we hate movies. We're going to be talking all about this fucking great-ass movie. So fucking amp to talk about this movie. We'll be doing it live. And if you can't make it live, it'll be available on demand for 14 days after.

So come on and get what's speed spud with us get spud with us sure get spud get speeded someone asked in the chat one of the first times we were talking about the show if we've done an episode on speed two yes we have yes ages ago yeah if I'm not mistaken is that an archive episode or yeah good question you could find out by going to w hm podcast dot com and select selecting prime episodes that's right that's right But yeah, also, of course, remember, yeah, we mentioned the 14-day window, but bundle in that after-party ticket.

We're going to be answering questions from ticket holders. It's always a lot of fun. It's always raucous. We're always fucking totally brain dead because we've just done 90 to 100 minutes on a movie. Yep. But it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm super pumped for this. We didn't have on-screen live earlier today, so I just want to mention, of course, if you're playing catch-up from the holiday weekend, last Tuesday, we welcomed.

our good fucking buddy, Ben Worcester, talking about Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. I was surprised to learn a lot of people did not know this movie existed. They were certain Paul Blart was like a one and done and their minds were blown. Somehow Blart returned.

That's right. And then last Friday, of course, you were probably shooting your hand off with fireworks or whatever, but we did release the We Love Movies for this month all about Logan. Kickass movie. Reaction to the episode has been Stellar. I will say I think it's very funny. Steve, a lot of people have been like, why

did they do this when they've been talking about X2 for all these years? And it was like, because we just felt like talking about Logan. I don't know. We'll get to it. We'll get to it. But also, very specifically, it's all about the Deadpool and Wolverine tie-in situation. And that's the last time he was supposed to play Wolverine

until he wants to be in a movie that we're going to see what that it's like. We're just going to see what that's like. We'll see. He's got to pave a baker's dozen fucking driveways. Uh-huh. you know uh but as we teased a little bit earlier in this program tomorrow uh we hate movies offering up another one despicable me to bob and henry from talking simpsons are back that's so many minions on that poster wow it's a lot of them look at it truly will be a planet

of minnage it's gonna be that way soon enough man i feel like once they can figure out how to like make a minion i rl oh yeah it's just it's going to it's coming from there it's coming uh so that's uh tomorrow of course with bob and henry and we hate movies and that's And Thursday, holy smokes, folks, strapping for the return of Melro 210. Oh, yeah. With two wild-ass episodes of television that we're talking all about.

Oh, boy. Kimberly Shaw pulling off that wig. One of the greatest, not greatest, but I would say one of the most infamous moments in television. For sure. That fucking rocked the world when that happened. So all that and more. Patreon.com slash we hate movies.

you want to get that despicable Me Too episode ad free but that's going to do it for this I almost said fucking on screen lives I was talking about but no folks the mailbag so thanks for writing in

and remember if we didn't get to your letter or you've yet to write something we all hate movies at gmail.com get it in don't be afraid send stuff in it might not get picked but you know get that chance what did you say there Steve I said yes

we get less than you think So send in your puking stories, fighting kids in the street. Yeah. Your shitty dad, your shitty mom. All of them. All right. Well, that's the end of this mailbag. Until we open up the mailbag again, I've been Andrew Jupin.

Steven Say that. Eric Sisko. Chris Cabin. Have a good night, y'all. Bye-bye. I'm going to be. I'm going to I'm going to

I don't know. I'm sorry. M. M. M. M. Thank you.