We Hate Movies - S15 Ep758: Weird Science

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

“I’m scanning pornography into the computer to make a lady!” - Eric as George W. Bush On this week’s show, we’re chatting about the 1985 John Hughes-directed, sci-fi sex comedy, Weird Science! How strange is it that back in the day, these creep-tacular incels were just considered harmless, lovable nerds? Why would they cut out all the solid Bride of Frankenstein conversation from the theatrical cut? Has there been a better titular song in cinema? Is this weird science, or weird computer magic? How cool is all the reversed footage at the end? And are those grandparents dead or what? PLUS: Christopher Nolan - huge Weird Science fan? Weird Science stars Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly LeBrock, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Rusler, Vernon Wells, Britt Leach, Michael Berryman, and the late, great Bill Paxton as Chet; directed by John Hughes. The episode is brought to you in part by Factor! Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 and use code whm50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That’s code whm50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active! Be sure to check our website for all ticketing information on our final shows of the year in Seattle, Portland (Oregon) & Boston! And don’t miss our worldwide digital event on October 23 where we’re talking Scream 4! Can’t make it the night of? The show has a 14-day replay window after the broadcast! And for our Patreon subscribers at the $8 & up, the After Party Q&A bundle comes free with purchase of a ticket to the show! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Bus Movie, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!   Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on We Hate Movies, ah, back when dangerous incels were just seen as lovable, harmless nerds. It's weird science. I'm Andrew Jupin. I'm Stephen Siddak. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies.

Thank you for tuning in this fine day. If you're a catch us for the first time because you're a big Anthony Michael Hallhead, this is a comedy show where you take a movie Good, Bad or Otherwise, and kick it around for a little bit. And yes, this week, 1985's Weird Science, directed by John Hughes. And I think, I said this on Letterbox. Pending a rewatch of Curly Sue, this is the worst movie he directed. Oh, yeah, maybe. It's a tough one.

I don't know what anybody can start here, what your experience is with this movie. It was always on, like, Channel 11 and shit, and I watched it once or twice, and I could never get into it. A breakfast club, I could, all day long, I can watch that movie, even though it's like, you know, cheesy in 80s and blah, blah, blah. But, like, I was ever, my wife loves Pretty and Pink, so I've seen that a bunch, but that sort of, of after that. That he only wrote, right? I don't think he'd do that. Right.

So breakfast served all day at the SADCAS. Absolutely. Love the breakfast club. I have seen this movie quite a bit. I also unfortunately watched a good chunk of the USA

network original programming show that they made out of this. But yeah, I don't know. I definitely understood going into my letterboxed ranking that there is nostalgia afoot here. for sure mainly because like other guy like dude who plays wyatt man that guy's just a real fucking black hole of everything in this movie and the only person you really have to act up

against his fucking kelly lebrock and anthony michael hall come on man listen they're all they're all nice and it's okay to like a movie there's weird science heads out there i'm sure there are yeah i just rated three stars on letterbox let's all relax i gave it less than that but it is you know it is nostalgia. I watched this probably a good handful of times. It's probably on HBO Showtime or something like that in the 90s and

it's got a banging soundtrack. I think that's what can be going back. The song is so good. It's so good. It's the best movie title song. I'll say it's better than Ghostbusters. Oh yeah. Because Weird Science is a song. Ghostbusters

is a novelty song. And And novelty songs can be fun, and they have their place, but it's kind of weird, like, you know, I like Ongo Bogo quite a bit, but like having, just having seen Nightmarem for Christmas enough, and it's the same singing voice, right? So now whenever I hear Ongo Boingo, I see Jack Skeleton just kind of like singing the, singing those songs. That's like a living human skeleton, maybe. So you should listen to the song, Little Girls by Oingo Boingo that did not age well at all and just pick up. Jack Skellington singing it. Yeah, no, just nothing about that Oingo Boingo song works anymore, but this song totally does.

And the only thing, I mean, I do, what was that too? I forget who sings it, but it's like right at the start of the movie when they're just like, citizen cane, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-no. No, no, no. Did you guys ever watch the TV show, though? No, never. It's my creation, irreversible. Oh, my God, I guess that's a traumatic event.

you can't turn back the time on, yeah. Is it real, irreversible? Oh, see, so now... See, I was just singing a song where someone said Citizen Kane, but you're now doing a weird-al-esque oingo-boingo parody song to the film Irreversible. Absolutely. That's where I'm going.

Okay, okay. Coming in hot. A little bit of an A to D there, so I just want to make everybody at home understand what was happening. It's a harsh one. You should have softened the blow with it. like a nymphomaniac or something. Yeah, that's a good point.

Getting hit with pennies. We should say Chris Cabin. It was trying to make himself a real girl and just absolutely killed himself. Yeah. Yep, yeah, no, because what happened was that door started bulging and then the door exploded. But instead of a sexy lady coming out, he just killed himself in a house explosion. Do you think that happened in the 80s at some point? Like, people trying to recreate the crimes of this film and being.

Like, I want to create a lady through the computer. Yeah. I'm sure. And that's how we have, like, those AI sex bot things now. And some dude who was, like, doing all the computer coding and had this movie on a loop in the background, like, finally, my weird science dreams are coming true. But the weird thing, I mean, like, obviously, you know, this movie, it's just sort of like trips over its own foot in. Because the concept is so creepy, right? is like, if you can't have these kids

fucking this girl, or it's really weird and gross and probably French, you know what I mean? Like the French version of weird science, they're probably fucking ass to mouth. But in the American version of weird science, you can't really do that. So like it just sort of now it's tripping over itself to not have that happen.

And like the whole movie is sort of sheepish in that way. I mean, realistically, what you're saying is these two kids would be double penetrating this girl. They chain her up in the, basement is what in cells do we know that now here this is just the rose colored glasses of you know boys having fun and then they never actually engage in sexual congress with this creation it's kind of funny because i i read a quote it's on like i mdb and i'm sure it's because all these people do now is just fucking copy paste shit they hear in like special features and

youtube videos so i'm sure some way along the along the way this actually happened where kelly LeBrock said that this movie Lisa is basically Mary Poppins with a rack and yes that's exactly what it is and I feel like the movie it just it kind of biffs the start of it where it's because

when you're watching it you're like yes they are making this woman to have sex with a computer creation that's what it is but what it should be is like boy we wish we had someone to show us the ropes or give us advice about the ladies or whatever and that part is it entirely there and instead you're like

yeah they want to fuck all those gigabytes and whatnot now I'm just thinking about fucking Mary Poppins and all those kids being like may we fuck her mother that's a spoonful of sugar I would take right does that happen to the sequel

as Little Man Mel Randha showed his cock and fucking her is that how that work? I wish then I would have fucking paid attention more in that movie just one of the absolute who asked for this piece of donkey shit movies I've seen I they remade that I totally forgot or it was a reboot

quill kind of a thing right it's no it's I'm pretty sure it's a straight up sequel okay a sequel wow and she is indeed supposed to be like the Julie Andrews Mary Poppins yeah it's Emily Blunt is Mary Poppins right yes yes the dad is Ben Wishaw

I'm waiting for this ain't Mary Poppins XXXXX listen dude who's to say that hasn't happened I'm sure he has I could Google it right now. Yep. Poppin Poppins, dude, there it is. Mr. Poppers, Penguin.

To get back to weird science, and I think this is sort of the issue, and I think it's because they do, Wyatt and Gary, played by Anthony McHall and the other guy. Oh, let somebody get an IMDP.

All right, I'll get it open. Hold on, I'll get it. It's, no, it is. It is funny, by the way, because it's in the credits, it's Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly LeBrock, than this dude. The guy's built third in his own movie. Ilan Mitchell Smith.

Who is now a professor, I understand of English and like medieval stuff. He's got a PhD now. It's pretty cool. Good for him. He's doing better than us. And he's looking great. He's looking better than our old Anthony Michael. You know what's weird though? I saw

on like his Wikipedia or whatever like he doesn't like getting his picture taken because he doesn't want his students to know that he was in weird science. Too late. I don't know. The fucking internet exists. You're getting Googled. Like, come on.

The question is, do those balls drop between now and now and then? I certainly hope so. Because he is, he is Anthony Michael. I'm sorry, he is Matthew Broderick at 2x speed. Like if you're listening to the, if Matthew Broderick is a podcast, you're like, I just want to get to the end of it. You just put it on 2x speed. That is this kid.

You know what? Funny enough, Steve, that's exactly my mentality if I was listening to a Matthew Broderick podcast. Let's get to the end of it. All right, so what I was getting at was... Yes, the ball's dropping. They, no, they read as creepy. They don't, and they don't read as, like, lovable, misfit nerd.

Because nerds, it's a really thin line of, like, what works. And you can go really creepy, really quickly, or you go lovable. Like, the, what do you call it there? The lone gunman. Lovable nerds, right? Lovable nerd. Well, I mean, yes. with a butt, and that butt is,

Frohiki really wants to fuck Scully. Sure. And that's there. But to compare, Steve, now, we had Revenge of the Nerds was happening, I guess, around this time, co-currently, maybe even before. Are they both 85, maybe? I don't know.

Because this is the same year's real genius, by the way, speaking of protagonists whose balls haven't dropped yet. Oh, that's so true. 84. And that kid is lovable, though. That kid is, even though, turned out to be a sexual predator.

Thank you. I mean, that's the thing is, like, What's funny is all these other, like Revenge of the Nerd series is very grabby. Yes. This is restrained in contrast to it. And real quick, I want to ask you about these balls dropping again. You get your voice real low to the mic like Howard Sterling. We're just asking about these balls.

Robin, can we zoom in on him really quickly? Is it because of his voice is what you're referencing, not the scene where he's wearing the panties, which I think he looks good at. Not too bad. That package is. front and center of that frame it lingers there for a little bit on his package. Well, because the first shot

is the ass, I'm like, oh, is that a kind of of Kelly LeBrock's ass, that's good? Oh, no, it's a, oh, no, it's a boy, hey, you know, it's like, hey, sure. I guess that's the joke is that, like, you'd be like, ooh, baby. And then it's like, oh, wait, that's the guy. You know, so many dudes in the theater were like, ha ha, ha. Just a really quick, like, I gotta go get some more soda. I think he looked great.

But, yeah, I know, it's the voice. It's the, hi, hello, everybody. Oh, hey, I'll. Sure. Yeah, that's really, it's, that's like fucking quint with his nails on the chalkboard and jaws. Every time this kid talks. Yeah, I mean, Anthony Michael Hall is, you know, an accomplished kind of little comedic actor at this point. You know what I mean?

I think he's very funny. He always had the good, not like a physical comedian, but very good with facial expressions. A lot of his facial expressions of this movie, I think, are very funny. Is this a mushroom cut kind of sort of? It's like, it's the proto mushroom cut. Yes, it is. It's like an overgrown mushroom cut kind of. Yes, it's not as boldly as we got in the 90s where it's like your hair only came down to a certain length.

And then they fucking shaved it like right down to the bone. That's what I was rocking for a little while. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, the dreaded Lloyd Christmas. Pretty much, man. We start with, it's a fake 2001 score opening thing. We didn't pay for it. It definitely, it's like, it gets like three notes in a row so that your ear starts to prick up.

And then as soon as your ear pricks up, it's like not getting sued. And it goes to like a different note instead. And I mean like these kids, here's the thing. These, if it was just like them and they're playing Dungeons of Dragons and they're like, oh, man, I really like Lisa. She's really sexy. And looking over at the lunch table, sure. These kids are

just like standing and staring, mouth and game and girls doing gymnastics. And I'm like, these are not my kind of nerds. You know what I mean? Ask the parents of 85. I guarantee you they'd rather have their kids leering at girls versus playing Dungeons and Dragons, which at

the time in Reagan's America, they thought that's how Satan came through the carpet. That's actually very true. Well, those are down in the finished basement playing the Dungeons and Dragons and Satan's going to tear up Mother's New Carpet. We have to do that, what was that, Tom Hank's Mases and Monsters movie? Yes. Yeah, that's a must.

Now, I know that that's like D&D and he gets, it's like Jumanji with D&D kind of, right? It's like he's playing and he goes inside the game. I think like the devil hangs out of them or something. Yes, there's like some... Oh, really? It's like satanic panic, yeah. Light Satanism is a remember correctly. Oh, I

like that. Yeah. It's been forever since I saw it, but I remember it being a hoot. But it's But I mean, if they were just like regular nerd But like it's like it's their They're horny. Oh, what? Oh, Gary, man.

Look at those. Look at these girls doing gymnastics. Gary. Is your cock hard? My cocks hard, Gary. And there are ways to show like that there are like horny teens in a movie. I mean, look at like like super bad. You know what I mean?

Like there's there's way more. natural ways to do this. Like, I wasn't a fucking suave dude with the ladies when I was in high school, but like, I was never just standing, leering at a gym class. And also, it appears to be like an all-girls gym class. They're the only two dudes there. Like,

it's just fucking creep town. But this is what I said, though. In the 80s, dude, these were charming nerds. They were charming. Yeah. I guess they were just walking by and went to go leer at them at the girls gym class or whatever this is. And then we get the pantsing.

by Robert Darnie Jr. and what's his name? The dude who's the, he's the bully teen in Nightmarine Nightmare and Elm Street 2, Freddy's Revan. Robert Russell. Rusler. Rusler? Rusler? He's Max. They're Ian and Max. Yes.

Man, and a classic pantsing. Anybody ever get pantsed in school? No. You know, that's the thing is I would the all-boys school, the bullying gets thrown way down. Interesting. Because, like, no one's trying to fucking get late. You know what I mean?

It's a little prison-esque where, like, you know what I mean? Like, instead of gym class, they tell you you're going out into the yard for exercise minutes. Exactly. And, you know, like, fighting will happen a bit more likely, probably. But it's, again, it's all of that, that shit is just turned down because there's no sexual rivalry going. Well, also because of the threat of being thrown into solitary, right? Yeah, you don't want to go into the hole. I got pantsed a couple of times

But it was always under Locker Room shenanigans It was never in front of girls It was just dudes fucking around playing grab ass I should say I was at Catholic school So the only people that were leering during gym class With the priests Yes

And I'm surprised they didn't pants you Oh Stephen, it's time for another scoliosis test Didn't we just have one last week? Yes but you never know when the Lord may strike you with scoliosis. So what are you little maniac? Oh, my God, what if they

accidentally made a priest instead of Kellel of Rockerson? So what do you little maniacs want to do now? Would you like to confess? It's like, let's conjure up, you know, let's make a creature on this computer that wants to fuck

15-year-old boys. And in comes a Catholic priest. The whole nine yards with the regalia, the whole the whole dress, incense or whatever. Yes, yes. I love Father O'Malley. But more like an older brother. It's a different kind of love.

Not like I love you, babe, who was on two different episodes of Seinfeld. Well, you'll have to give me a name and it better be in the old book. Nathaniel's pretty good. Now, I should say, I watched a little bit of an extended cut because I do have the Aero 4K of this. look at you it's only like a minute and a half two minutes longer it's a couple of added scenes and i think all they did was they took like what were ostensibly deleted scenes that they like

put in for the tv broadcast because they have to take out other stuff so this like makes up the minutes or whatever but so i have it started after the gym class thing they get pants and whatever we go to wyatt's bedroom where they are watching Frankenstein and it's like it gets almost a little Kevin Williamson-esque because we're talking about like movies that actually scare us and you know why it's like oh I saw I spit on your grave that's scary

and Anthony Michael Hall says he saw another movie that scared the shit out of him or whatever I read you you said the comparison thing and I read that scene and I was like that scene should be in the movie because it's actually giving these kids some character more because that's again like they're non-specific

nerds are they moving nerds are they movie nerds are they comic nerds are they dragons nerds like all these things are different kinds of are they baseball nerds you know what I mean like all these are nerds that you worry you mean jocks no no no there are baseball nerds I know those guys that bring out the little numbers and stuff yeah stack guys absolutely it's a whole sick twisted form of nerdery exactly the sports nerds totally exist like just if that specificity is missing and I don't know why this movie is 94 minutes it it couldn't be 95 minutes especially because of the so there's two Frankenstein scenes before the actual one that is just in the theatrical cut because like they watch it or whatever oh and the other thing is Gary says that he was scared by dawn of the dead yeah that's the other one and then like they're talking about Frankenstein or whatever and this is where you they go into the kitchen and they start talking about like bride of Frankenstein for a little bit and then he's like we should make our own girl how much of the bride of Frankenstein chatter is in the theatrical it's none none it's just basically like I think we're back in the bedroom and Gary is looking at the computer he's like we should make her own girl dude

it'll be like Frankenstein but cuter like that's kind of wow so yeah digging up a dead girl this that and the other thing it gets into yeah no they have an extensive We're not doing necrophilia again Gary I'm fucking sick of it we're on dirty your cock got last time

I'm not getting another maggot up my urethra for you Necromancer that was the movie that scared the shit that guy falls in love with a dead body weird stuff yeah so you i think you had a better experience with that scene of the bride frankenstein explaining all that stuff it kind of contextualizes them to steve's point they're a little more movie nerds talking about the release dates of like 34 and stuff that's yes yeah and that's what feels very kevin williamson because he's like he's like oh you know they made a sequel to this and they made a girl i think it comes out in like 35 and anthony mcgall's like 34 and it's like okay that's great because if you have two 15 year old kids that are arguing over

the release dates of a mid 30s universal horror movie those are clearly and comfortably movie nerds and we can go on from there exactly what head honcho is like 94 minutes and not a minute more like it's totally this is the complete scene it makes sense it's so bizarre to cut that out but we still get like, you know, the setup here of Wyatt's parents are in Cincinnati visiting, I guess, his sister's fiance. Right, he's trying to be a vet or something.

And Chet is coming home for the weekend to watch over some stuff. And Gary, Anthony Michael Hall's character, doesn't want to stay if, you know, if that's the case, but he does anyway. He makes a trashed scene in that, in that sink pretending to be a big man

shaving. All right, here's, all right, I don't understand this. So like, I definitely slept over a lot of friends' houses growing up, you know, eventually sleepovers turned into I just crashed on the couch drunk, but it still all happened. Never once was like, oh, you know what I should do? Just kind of shave? Yeah. Just have a quick shave. Because I wasn't shaving anyway. Second question, did anyone have this second bedroom situation, the second bed because for a friend to stay over? Or were you ever on the other end of that? Like, a buddy of yours had a second bed for you? I sort of did not. I slept on. I slept on

floor is always always a sleeping bag kind of a lot of sleeping bed on the floor now there were for a long time growing up there were two twin beds in my room it was just because I shared a bedroom with my brother growing up but that was we definitely had like the

Huey Dewey Louie like bunk bed situation do you ever have a high riser you ever know what that is what the fuck is it's a bed that basically there's another it's basically a bed there's another bed under it and it's metal contraption that you roll the bed out and then elevate the other bed so now you've got

two twin beds next to each other but it rolls under during the day to save some space right next to each other so it's like like we're getting down to fucking mother basically yeah i think uh those are also in the furniture biz called trundle beds okay is that right yeah uh no we never had one of those i welcome back to trundle cast yeah we had a bunk bed we had a but we should say the Donnellys have like fucking crazy McAllister money The bar in this kid's house Is better than most bars that I've been to in New York City

It's awesome It's so spacious Dude if I lived in this house And I had that bar I would never do anything No exactly I would stay at home I'd make my drinks I'd invite my friends over to make them drinks

We'd be watching movies This is the I think it might be one of the best rooms, best interiors in any John Hughes film. This entire house is incredible. Like his bedroom has its own private onsuit. God, what is he the fucking Walsh kids? Come on.

Well, no, but Brenda ain't coming in from the other side. It's all, it's only his. Yeah, he's not sharing a bathroom with Chet. I'm sure Chet has his own bathroom. Uh, it, yeah, no, these kids are, this kid is loaded. Totally loaded. And it's actually sort of interesting. you completely get like why

Anthony Michael Hall's character is always over there because we do see Gary's house later in the movie not as nice Gary. But I do love the old style lamp that they have in the house. Oh, isn't that a thing of beauty? Tells you everything you to know about that dad.

It's like, gotcha. Yep, absolutely. But yeah, so it's Gary's idea by watching. And in the movie, you know, in the theatrical I should say that you are cutting into to Frankenstein. So you kind of have that context,

but they're not talking about it at all. And then he's just like, we should make a girl. It should be Frankenstein, but cuteer. Boom, boom, boom. Should we give her a brain? I mean, eight minutes in, you're already doing this computer thing and you're adjusting the size of the tiats.

Oh, dude. Should we give her a brain a question, Jeffrey Dahmer asked. You know what I mean? I'm surprised they didn't leave it with this because like when they're doing the computer stuff, It's like, give her a brain. Okay, right now the intelligence is fifth grade, slow learner, boring dip shit, it says on screen.

Yeah. That sounds ideal if you want a docile subject to chain in the basement. Which is what this sounds like. It does. The initial idea, though, is not to, like, actually physically make a girl. Yes. They want to basically make, like, an AI bot because they say, like, oh, and we could ask her questions. Like, it's kind of there.

The thing that I was complaining about that they don't really set up where. it's kind of, that's the one line. Like, and maybe we could ask her questions. And then like, then it goes out the window, like, with the magic and, and whatever. Yes. They do it at first. It's like, okay. And Gary's like, lame.

Let's do some vague hacking. Yeah, I love this. This is some wild hacking. This is like. We believed everything was Tron back in the day. Yes. All the way until like hackers in the 90s, which, I mean, I kind of love this stuff because it's like kitsy and fun now looking back.

Yeah. It's cute. It's literally like freakazoid. Like you control alt something and then you go to a different reality practically. They do the E equals MC squared twilight zone thing in here for a government hack? Why would that exist? And when they're attacking this, it's like a government computer they're doing. It looks like NORAD or something. And I think someone's physically, the guy at NORAD is physically typing access denied to them.

That's what they make it look like, which is pretty great. I love this dude playing the government computer guy. It looks exactly like John Ritter. I thought it was for a second. The government agency they should be hacking into for what happens later in the movie is the ministry of magic. Okay, because none of this makes any...

It's not science. It's not weird science. It is weird magic. It should be a seance. Exactly. Like, they do a little bit of that. She has, I mean, she's basically Thanos with all the fucking infinity stones.

You know what I mean? Like she just walks around. She controls reality time, space. That's if they made the, If they remade this movie, that's what it would be. It'd be a bunch of nerds trying to make Lady Thanos to fuck. No, just get Thanos that big fucking ass. Oh, dude, that little dump truck ass is beautiful.

It would be like when... It would be like when Wyatt comes out after sleeping that first morning. We all thought his ass was Kelly LeBroggs. So what are you little maniacs want to do next? No, my ass is purple for a different reason. I'm fucking hammered. a real flogging last night from Lisa.

Oh, like you need something in because like you're right, the magic part of this is so stupid. And like, I don't know, I feel like a way that you could sort of straighten that course a little bit

is if whatever they hack into in the government, you just slap on a sticker that's like yada yada virtual reality, something or other. You know what I mean? And then it's like, experimental,

Quadrophysics or something like that. It's nonsense words. And if this movie was allowed to be 100 minutes, you could have government characters, like, someone broke into this thing, and now we've got to go to Shermer, Illinois, to figure out what they did with it. And, like, that could play into it

in some way. Right. You could expand the whole universe. Like, they broke into our ladymaking machine, and then it's like the government's been making, like, you know, sex pot spies. Mr. President, someone has hacked the ladymaker. Oh, my God. Was George in there again?

Was George sticking his tallywacker inside the computer again? Yes, George W. Bush is starring this. I told that hot shot not to stoop the computer. I want her to live, breathe, and aerobus eyes. Hey, Poppy, the door is like a balloon now. I'm scanning pornography into the computer to make. good lady. I love, so there's so much happens here. We're scanning

pornography. Yep. Who has the idea. If you and me were like, oh man, I'd be like, oh, cool, Jillian Anderson and you know, you'd be like, oh, cool, Jenny McCarthy, whatever. And who's like, David Lee Roth? Like, where? And what? I think that's to get to come out like,

skittly, pop. I think it's so she has a rock and roll. Diamond Dave's fucking dance moves or so. Oh, nice. Yeah. And then Houdini so she can't take a punch. That way we can keep her captive. And then also Einstein. And it's like I would love a malfunction where she's got like an Einstein face instead of brain.

Or, okay, because that would be horrifying. But let's see how far we could dial it back to the point where you'd make it work. So let's say she comes out of it. Face like Kelly LeBrock. Uh-huh. Hair like Albert Einstein. I'm into it. Mustache or no?

mustache included I'd make it work I'd make it work absolutely what your little maniacs want to get up to now huh oh god or maybe you know

it's because RDJ's in this movie it's like maybe Gary and Wyatt were talking about something more important than you serve thank you for bringing this up I was wondering did you think RDJ thought of this movie on the set of Oppenheimer

all the time because it's the missile shows up and he's in a scene with a giant nuclear missile. I think it's because in both Oppenheimer and in this, he has that scene where he yells out, I'm shooting my pants! I mean, that's the thing. I mean, look, I know

you know Nolan in his earlier movies, like he's got, you know, inception, he's got Tom Berringer. You know, he has an 80s movie guy thing. Rutger Hauer, of course. Thank you, Rutger Hauer. I'm like so like maybe he's a big weird science head Maybe that's Nolan love maybe when the lights are off

And everyone's like what's Christopher Nolan watching? It must be some sort of like you know like you know he's watching weird science Finally it makes sense thank you I'd love it if it just turned out that dude just has the absolute worst fucking taste of movies It would make him so much more charming than he already is I'd be like that's awesome like you your professional life is one thing but then you just go home and watch dog shit he's from Chicago that you know

this is sort of starting right probably well acquainted with Shermer Illinois and that maybe he's accidentally making good movies you know oh the studio made me cut out the bra bomb oh yes there was that whole part in Dunkirk where they were going to be scanning pornography pages

the studio made me cut it out think about the think about what the beach should look like Bikini babes Early on, yes Obviously Robert Oppenheimer did poison his teacher with the apple

But he also was doing panty raids Across the hall It's about a good 20 minutes That we dedicated to that Yes, quite quite good We had the initial meeting of Robert and Kiti Oppenheimer She was taking a shower, you see

And he was behind her in the shower With his pants and Chuck Taylor's sneakers on Like my favorite movie, weird science. I could, I couldn't believe they left the sexy. That's a first. Oh, yeah, like, so we scan the porno mags, Diamond Dave, Albert Einstein. We've got the bras on our heads for fun. Ceremonial purposes.

And very importantly, I guess, is they have like conductors up to a Barbie doll as well. Right. Now, question real quickly about the bras. Yes. It's got to be the mothers. It's got to be the mom. Right. What's the sister, right?

Well, this is gone. Or leftovers? They could be. Oh, yeah, I stole these from Janice's dresser before she went away to college, you see, and she never asked for them back. Yeah. Hey, Gary, I got the bras from my sister, ready to jerk off. Okay, well, either way. Toss off.

In this movie, it's tossing off. Which I kind of like. I might say using it. I think we got to start taking that for America. to tossing off. Yeah, I think that's exactly what Chris Nolan. Oh, I toss off. When Emma's out of town, I toss off. I put on weird science

and I toss off. Erection equals male come times two. I've cracked it. Oh, I don't remember when I was going to ask about that. Who emma's doing location scouting, time to toss off.

No, no, you go ahead. I trust you to find the locations. Once you've found them, I'll fly to you so I can stay home and toss off. He was trying to do Barbenheimer before anyone. Exactly. Hoking up, he's tossing off, he's hooking up a Barbie doll to all these electrodes, which we do see in this movie. And somehow that's the key to making a woman question mark.

Sure. A woman, gin. She's closer to a gin than she is a woman. I mean, literally, this is wishmaster shit that she has. That's where they should have found like an ancient bird. book in the library that shouldn't be there or something. And it's like, oh, we wish for a sexy woman, but she's kind of a genie

and that's the movie. You know what I mean? Right. That would be something as well. I'd like that. But yeah, like the door, you know, all this stuff happens. And I, you know, some of the wackiness I'm into, like, when they, you know, go too far and like the dog

is walking on the ceiling for a hot, like those like cutaways are totally fine. But when those get folded into the reality in the movie and we need to talk about then I'm not so okay with it. But like the quick cutaway of the dog on the ceiling, I'm having a blast.

You know what I mean? I do like all the appliances coming to life. Like it's that movie Pulse. Like, you know what I mean? Like that shit's kind of cool. The door turning into a balloon again. I always love that dumb effect, even though it's just the easiest thing of the world to do.

But is it science? I mean, it's just so magic. Everything in this is magic. Everything goes back to normal through magic. Science never cures anything. Science explodes things. The meeting of science.

and magic, you guys, we should have just called this movie Strange Alchemy. Yes. And there you go. Also, we should say it's called weird science because it's based on an EC Comics line and this story of what these guys are doing

is kind of based off a weird science story that was in a comic issue. And I was kind of thinking like, it would be rad. Like, if this wasn't John Hughes because John Hughes just made shit and it was just forever a John Hughes kind of thing, but you could have taken this.

I don't know if it's like weird science. Now we're doing another story from EC comics and do sort of like an anthology kind of series out of it. That would be a sexy anthology. Sexy anthology, yes. And also you have two characters. It would be cool to pit them against each other. If this turned into a dark comedy, you know what I mean?

Maybe Gary is like, we're going to make a girl and like fuck her. And he's like, but no, Gary, we can't do that. That's immoral. You know what I mean? Like then. Or they're competing. Like one night it's, I'm a moment. Like one night it's, I'm on a date with Gary.

The next day I'm going to date with Wyatt. Who's better at this? Yes. These are things that could happen in the movie. That doesn't happen because the movie is, it just turns into crazy town. Like, literally, everything just starts to happen without really consequence. Reason, consequence, none of that stuff.

But Steve, would you believe this? I read this on the Tribune trivia. Uh-oh. John Hughes wrote this in two days and it shows. Yeah, no kidding. also apparently he this is the same year as breakfast clubs comes out and apparently like there's maybe a thing where he needed to do both to make the breakfast club or like they didn't want to do the breakfast club they want to do weird science that's why i think it was a do this to do that i want to make the

breakfast club and universal was like no we want you to make this movie weird science and he was like all right if you let me make the breakfast club i will direct weird science yes is how that went And then, like, when the deal was done, he was like, all right, now let me go to my car and get the script that I definitely wrote for weird science peeling out of the parking lot. I'll be back in two days. Just get to find my Coke dealer really quickly. Oh, yeah. That's the first step along the way to write a script in two days.

Well, that's what, yeah, and also, Eric, you missed the last part of that sentence. If you blow off the space dust, it says, without sleeping. Yes, of course. in two days without sleep. Big Coke guy. Is Pepsi okay? No, it is nuts. No, not for what I have to do in two days is not. This diner ordering cocaine, not a soft drink, okay? Like a ham and cheese omelet and some fucking piping hot cocaine.

Get it over here. Piping hot. But yeah, instead of any of that stuff, we have this, it's a shower scene where Kelly LeBrox in the shower and no complaints here, except then you just got these kids and they're standing behind her and it's really eerie and like you don't, the joke that ends this scene has to start this scene because otherwise you're

like, what are they, it's not funny to imagine them kind of standing there fucking tossing off. That's part of the problem is it's like, this is a raunchy premise and it's absent of raunch. Yeah, because it's like you can't just you can't just release this movie in the theaters in

1985 to a giant mass audience and they're just prematurely ejaculated every five minutes. Oh, God. No, it's true, though. No, you can't. But that's also something that John Hughes isn't going to do.

This was like from the creators of meatballs or porkies, the raunch factor. But you're right. I got to go through those movies. I got to do my research. There's some real bad times at the movies in there, on both franchises.

I believe it. But because we have to do this game where it's like sort of sexy but very chaste, that's why this joke doesn't exactly hit, which is like, oh, it's them in the shower. Uh-oh, no, they were just wearing their pants the whole time because at the end, she's like, you guys really need to loosen up.

And she, by the way, I think she's great in this movie. Like, her dialogue doesn't really make sense. You know what I mean? Like, all that stuff, she just hits it. She's got a really good timing. You know what I mean? Like it's, there's a way in which that she is a dead-eyed, just super sexy calendar model.

And that's not what this character is. You know what I mean? Well, I think that, like, that's why the other super sexy calendar model that was Lisa before Kelly LeBrock was cast, got fired after two days. Andrew, I heard that was creative differences. Oh, got it. Yeah, the creative differences were this.

They wanted her to hit all of these like kind of longish lines that Kelly LeBrock has. And her creative difference was she could not do that. You know, that's to be fair. That's a creative choice by her to not be able to do something. Well, yeah, I mean, in back to the future, they had a creative. difference and Steven Spielberg's created urn's, get that fucking red head off my set please. Yep, that was his, creatively

he wanted that that no talent ginger off the set. And then he was like, well, Mr. Spielberg, I'll dye my hair, that's fine. And Spielberg was like, I'll never be able to unsee what I've seen. And he got fired anyway. It's a harsh guy that Spielberg.

A real piece of shit. But so like, yeah, that's like kind of, and then it's like, well, what are you going to do? Let's hit the town. because earlier in the first scene and it's actually pretty funny Gary's like we hit the town, hit the nightlife, you know what he's talking about what he would do with these gals if he had

the chance. This kind of running off of those lines reminds me of his performance as Rusty Griswold which it's kind of interesting because this movie is why going forward with those Lampoon movies no one ever plays the kids again

because he was supposed to do it and then John Hughes was like you want to star in my other movie and not do European vacation and he fucked off and so they just recast both Rusty and Audrey which hey better move

Dana Barron couldn't show up either because they recast the other one dude do you know though she apparently comes back as Audrey in that cousin Eddie's island adventure Christmas vacation too what? Yeah dude everybody's got to have a hot meal

who the hell plays them in Vegas vacation now I'm wondering it's either everybody in I don't remember who just... Yeah, Ethan Embry's rusty. I don't know. Pulling it up. Audrey went on to do anything or not.

But so, but, you know, like hitting the nightlife, cool idea. What if... And here's something, John Hughes. What if they just go to a regular club and everyone's just... And it's like, oh, man, these kids are not holding their liquor and you could make a bunch of jokes at the... Or even like, you know, a big hunky guy comes up like, what are you doing with these nerds? Anything can happen aside from... But imagine, Steve, just imagine for a second.

Okay. If you took the scene from Animal House, mind if we dance with your dates, where like that scenes not terribly long, right? And mind if we dance with your dates as kind of the end of it. What if we just did that little asshole clenching moment and just made it a 10-minute sequence in this movie?

It's so crazy. It's insane. The quote, black club scene, you got to, that's all it is, they go to a black bar, It's a bar full of black people. There is a thing. Oh, my God. A Greek guy named Dino there for some reason as well. Dudes. And Dino, did you get this?

I got this. No. Dino is the same actor who played the sniffing accountant on Seinfeld. Oh, that's amazing. He's also in Breakfast Club as the janitor. The guy that's giving what's his face shit the whole time. By the way, Audrey, Vegas vacation, Marisol Nichols, who's seen recently in Spiral as the Captain Gazzara. Oh, I did. I saw her in theaters as Captain Gazzar as Riverdale. You're so excited to do that.

She's actually got a pretty solid career here. Oh, that's cool. Good for her. But you're right, Andrew. I mean, like the Animal House joke, A, which is like seven years earlier and is, and it is like, you know, it's that we loved this joke back in the 70s and 80s, which is like white guy on the wrong side of town, you know what I mean? But even I think like, it's okay, you go into like a black blues bar.

or whatever we do the record scratch thing and Lisa is like they're just people that want to mingle like go mingle or whatever and then like it is funny because they all turn around like they don't give a fuck about them. Yes yeah you can make something out of that but what kills this

is the Anthony Michael Hall the voice that he's doing once the character gets drunk I'm not going to do the voice but I don't want to mention one of the because it's terrible it's obscene it's disgusting but this one line And don't, no one clipped this out of context.

I was insane for this eighth grade bitch. Yes. Wow. What a, what, apparently big titties is mentioned. There's this whole back and forth. I do think the other guys in the scene are pretty funny. They are. They're all super funny, like, humoring this idiot white kid.

But like, it just, especially in 2024, it is some asshole clenching awfulness. And we get their first of two. of the bad F-bomb, which now brings us past the Bill and Ted Grace-Ferion, and now we're into bad territory. Bill and Ted only used it once per picture. We have it twice here.

Isn't that thrilling? Isn't that thrilling? Other weird moment in this scene, when they walk in, Wyatt goes into the bathroom. And when the door opens, it's kind of a continuation of the record scratch joke, except that

it's just three dudes who are already posted up to the urinal, like, either cock in hand or almost ready to lower the flag, and, like, the three dudes turn around at the same time and look at him, I'm not turning around to look who's coming into the bathroom. It's really bizarre. It's like, are they tossing off together? Why are they all sandwiched together doing this? And what's a real cruisy bathroom, dude?

Like, you know, definitely, you could put your foot in the wrong spot. You're having a really good time. But also, speaking of that, he goes into the stall, why it goes into the stall. Yes. And like somebody, I guess it's the other guys like, oh my, or is that how that, because he sits on a guy's lap. Yes, who's presumably. Taking a shit. Yes.

How do you not see that a dude's taking a shit? Is it still a blumping if, if you're penetrating, if it's not a blow job, if it's your penetrating an ass? No, that's the BL, Blump, blow. Human centipede kind of vibe, I guess. Yeah, it's more. of a, I don't even know what it was here. It's closer to a human centipede than a blumpkin. I'll just, you know, I would call it a splash mountain because it's more of a ride.

I like you, you may or may not get wet as this is happening. It's a ride that you will be covered in filthy water. I'm doing my Craigslist post now. Snow Bunny for Splash Mountain. M for M. That's posted. But yeah, and like one of my notes is like, did Wyatt get raped in the bathroom? because they cut immediately and you don't know what happened.

It's just this movie's just gags, you know, it's just dumb, it's a police academy, which I'm sure is also rapy for poor comment on Eric Lassard gets a non-consensual blowjob. And that, so it's a proud tradition in the 80s to have these raunchy comedies that don't mean anything. But there is a weird, so like the guy, the sniffing accountant, if you look at the credits, like, he's supposed to be the owner of the bar this one guy and so it's kind of funny because I didn't look up what this was so he's playing this Greek dude

is the idea and he says something about like oh yeah like look at the little Malacaz over there and he's and Anthony Michael Hall like starts laughing and he's like oh yeah man she's way into Malacaz oh yeah yeah I looked up what that is it's a it's Greek slang

and this is amazing because like this dude this dude nailed this kid he's got him dead to rights that is greek slang for a guy that just jerks off a lot and that's a very funny joke to be embedded in the layers of this movie and that's i mean that's enough but like you cannot overstate how long anthony michael hall is doing this voice it's like doing it on the car ride home and then in the house with bill paxton it's probably like eight minutes Yes, of a 90-minute film It's a lot It's a lot of the film is him

Doing this voice And it's just It's really unfunny It's Yeah, but that one guy says In the family Jules Yes Yes, because the girlfriend

The fake girlfriend Need him in the nuts And called him the F-bomb Yeah I love all the dudes Being like Need you in the nuts Oh man he need him

the nuts kind of great and then like they're going home and they're both wasted she's driving and like again like we never oh by the way on the no he's

Garrett White is driving this time yeah yes but on the way on the way in they give her the name Lisa which I guess it's like some sort of an Apple computers thing or something like that I was like no is that right yeah I don't know but they give her the name Lisa and like

she just changes that the thing to the the uh life's point to say lisa and like at this moment i just needed to be like well you created me guys and i have control over all things in humanity and other what you know what you don't know what you know what you're insane because like the strat the the length of that her control of everything and everyone and changing people into monsters it's you're right it's a gin it's a supernatural entity there should have been some element of that in there if she explained it anyway or if there was any to make it a rule where she could do X but not Y. Because if you're like

this movie, a better version of this movie is Encino Man. And Zinomain is incredibly clear. Right. A couple of lovable losers. They dig up a hunk to have sex with. Exactly. And he has kind of superpowers but he's only super strong and he's dumb. And like that rises to popularity

et cetera in the school. And it makes, it holds together. What did it have helped if during the we're scanning pornography and everything's going crazy with making Lisa I feel like things may have been fixed if we had one magic lightning strike

that'd be fun because that's the other thing that doesn't really happen anywhere like because you've got yeah I mean because you've got this weird like the sky goes red like goes to the gozerians coming I know like that it's so weird

but like that it never fully works into what's going on with the rest of the science experiment Like, just one magical bolt of lightning will do it all. Exactly. It's like, whoa, what happened on my computer? Why is it glowing green?

Because the lightning hit it. God decreed we get some. Right. Maybe like Kelly LeBrock is playing like the human embodiment of Cupid or something. And she looks down like, what are those two perverts doing? I'm going to go mess with them. Right. Or she's ensnared by the computer's wavelengths or whatever.

And it's a poor, tragic godlike figure. taken down to earth and now she's having fun I remember that we did previous episode date with an angel that was kind of like this oh yes you're totally right I just thought of another one that would work too that movie bedazzled just make her the devil

great and it's the death and then they think they made a girl with the computer but then at the end of it she's like by the way Wyatt and Gary you can either keep your balls or go on a date with the babes which would you like Gary, we're damned for all eternity, shit.

I guess I shouldn't actually have sex with it then. The devil is someone you can double penetrate. It's not a problem. No, it's a way into that. Yes, exactly. Any sin will do. Plus then all the magic and the finger snapping and the changing the clothes and making the cars out of the air and everything.

It makes so much more sense. The devil did it? Gary, the devil got me pregnant. Yeah, we're. Where is that on Lifetime's Halloween rotation, knocked up by Satan? But the car, the car creation out of nowhere is insane. I'm sorry, if you're a computer person, you can't just do that. This is when they go home and, you know, Gary is very drunk.

And this is when we meet, yes, the great Bill Paxton, RIP, give it it as all. Making this movie, for me, a two-star film, thank God. This is the elevation. Time to pay the fiddler. I fucking love that line. He's good. I love this, like, this flat-top haircut. he's a hard ass named Chet

This is like So this is this is like Terminator's 84 This is between Terminator and aliens Wow That's pretty great for him It's awesome yeah If he pukes you die

Yes You two donkey dicks Couldn't get laid in a morgue Wow Think about that Which is fabulous A little wink to the movie Mortuary Where he plays a morgue attendant

Is he trying to fuck dead bodies In that movie? No but he's he it's like there's like wacky shit. It's a fun slasher. Check out. Oh, it is a slasher. Okay. I don't know if it was like a morbid comedy or something. So it's a slasher not a tosser. It's a slasher or a tosser. Can I toss to it? Is there any scene that I could toss to? You should toss to it. I did an episode on the Kill by Kill podcast for that movie. It was fun. Check it out. I'm actually looking up just to make sure.

okay just wanted to make sure because there's tossing off but then I wanted to make sure that tosser wasn't a more offensive British slang and it's not

it just means someone who's unpleasant or stupid okay see every every British slang to me I'm just like Jesus fucking Christ what the hell are they saying well yeah

you never know you could be rogering that's fucking somebody who's rogering even what is Wanker's like masturbator I thought that might have been I was worried about that They have a lot for masturbation.

They're very worried about it. I think wanking may have overtook tossing off. Yeah, for sure. Really? Yeah, I think so. I don't know. We'll have to look at, we'll have to get the UK office on that. Bill Paxton, as Chet asks Wyatt or ask Gary, who's very close to vomiting,

how about a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray? Apparently it's something that Bill Paxton's dad would say to him when he was drunk and really? Or hungover around. Hungover, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, I thought, I thought that would sound great if I've been drinking like a nice greasy pork sandwich. Sure, there's a little ash on it, whatever. I can eat around it.

No, yeah, because then the other thing you're having that's crucial for getting over a hangover is smoking something. Yep. Little something. You don't want to just smoke that greasy pork sandwich. You want to smoke something else. So Gary passes out, Chet, Flea's wife for 175 bucks. Don't tell mom, yada, yada. Right.

And, which I didn't do the calculation, which I think is $25,000. What the fuck? He's got a, he's older, this is how rich this kid is. Older brothers, like, could you give me the down payment for a house right now? And him as a teenager, 15 years old in high school, is like, okay. Yes, the fact that he, as a 15-year-old child, has $175 floating around. Unreal. I didn't have $175 to, like, last year.

Yeah, that's right. Thank you all who chipped into the Patreon to make that happen. So while Gary has passed out This is where Wyatt gets a little Makeout lesson with Lisa And she grabs his fucking took us We're getting a little

This is England here Because this kid is Is like I think the actor is like 16 And she's in her You know which is It's fine But it's just a little It's less revolting

Than that makeout scene Because the lipstick Is it as bad But like But that kid's way Little or looking Yeah that kid's like 11 Yeah

That's honestly dude I feel like it's fucking apples and are different things. She's like 25 or 4 or something filming this. He's 16. I mean that's why you can't have them actually have sex really. Yes. Oh yeah. Also that.

Yeah. No, that's completely true. Unless again, unless they made a priest, then it would be fine. Well, then it would be ordained by God. It's the will of God. Now, speaking of priests, by the way, did you guys catch the audio cue here when they wake up

and Gary's really hung over? you just and they're like what happened last night whoa whoa whoa you are getting that the quick piano score of the exorcist the do no no no no no no no no oh I didn't spot it but it's like just gently sort of floating under them talking it was very odd and again I think it's kind of like another it's one note off so we're not getting sued by Warner Brothers and this is the whole like what happened it must have been a dream it had how could two people

the same dream it must have been a dream right there is and there's also um right so gary and uh lisa or why at least they're making out and like she's like well what do you you know she's literally asking like what do you want dude i'm right here and he's like uh maybe a gymnastics thing because i got a little hard on for gymnastics we cut he she wakes up he wakes up her underwear and then she says like halfway through my gymnastics routine you passed out yes She was doing a little show for him. Nobody fuck nobody. You know what I mean?

Yeah. No, no, definitely. She's also, he, it's not just her underwear. Like, he's wearing her entire outfit. He's wearing like a sexy cutoff kind of thing where there'd be, you know, some underboob if it was on Kelly LeBrock, I think is the idea. But I love, I mean, Chet just freaking out about it when he realizes, like, what he's wearing or whatever. Like, Dad's going to go crazy and all this shit. And fucking Paxton, I have to feel like this was an improv

and he surprised this actor when he rips off the towel and he's like, cover yourself up, man, and he's naked. The way that the kid reacts, like, he kind of half starts laughing. And I was like, I wonder if Paxton was just fucking naked and like flash this kid or something. Oh, that's another crime on the set. We got to report this.

There's a scene where I guess they're trying to buy perfume for her and like we're kind of giving this teenage countergirl shit. Yeah. We're going to the mall now. Now we're at the mall. Believe she was briefly seen in the gymnastics thing. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, they do appear to like kind of know her from school or whatever. This is Jill Whitlow. None of you remember her as Mindy and Porkies. I do not. Oh shit. I'm going to give that spin right after then. So you guys have girlfriends and you're buying this perfume?

That's not how you refer to a 23-year-old woman. She's our mistress or sex pot. And it's a weird like, oh, so you're sharing her. You're like a nerdy, loser, little thruple kind of. So anyway, a place where you cannot be cheap is at the mall, and this is where they are, right in time for a grade A public humiliation by R.D.J. And other guy, Max and Ian are the characters. Yes.

Basically, yeah, it's like this thing where they're kind of like they're hanging out with their lady friends who we're now if you're watching the movie you're like okay so they're going to wind up with Gary and you know if you're like now you've figured that out there's yeah the two other girls yeah and I'll give this movie credit for not killing and Deb by the way

they don't go like revenge mode it's not like yeah and we fucked your girlfriend exactly it's like these are nice ladies and I want to take them out for a date which is a sweet twist on it I'm glad it's not like the deranged like sexual revenge stuff right I believe Gary sits, they sit down, they're like

at the bottom of the mall, at the top of the mall is the bullies and Gary goes to why, you know this is the first time I remember it felt really cool and they get a big old icy slushy, dumb, done. This thing, I mean, this is a bucket. Whatever this kid has in the cup is not

against dumb dumb dumb, them. This is like a total bucket of fucking chum. They're like telling the guy like, all right, now you're going to put the cup kind of over the railing there a little bit and cut all right. Now, uh, where's Jerry? Jerry, get over here with your bucket of slush and it's a cherry icey. Dump it on these freaks. So it feels like

Kerry here. Yes, a little carry-esque. That's good call, good call. The last time you had a slushy or an icy or like that. I can tell you exactly I think, are we going to say the same thing? The Astoria 7-Eleven on 30th Avenue. That's where I had it last. Yes. And I got, I'll never forget it was the most reprehensible slushy I've ever had. Or there's seven 11, so there's slurpees. Yes. It was a crystal light.

Oh, no. Dude. So, like, crystal light, terrible enough when you just mix it with water. You put it in a slurpy, that was trash. I think I threw out, like, most of it. It had been a couple of years for me, and I was like, you know what? I used to love slurpees, and I was clearly stone. And I, you know, I got my cherry going, and it was just like, it's so much sugar that

I could not handle it. Yeah. I mean, I think that might have been the night where I think I've been. mentioned this before maybe 10 years ago on the show that I was so high maybe I think it was probably ordering this slushy and then like the guy gave me change back and I kept on giving it back because I didn't think I paid yet to the point where this this dude working at 7-Eleven just starts bursting out laughing eventually it was a treat for everyone that can be I mean that peak stonage cannot be achieved through smoke and bowls a

alone. That had to have been some Chris Cabin confection going on. Oh, probably. That Chris Cabin cupcakes basically put me in the hospital a few times. I, you know, I, and I'm always like making fun of these like, you know, columnists, columnists. Columnist. Like New York Times, remember there were people like, I had a, a brownie and I was good to call 911. Oh, that was Maureen Dowd in Colorado. I remember reading that and laughing at her. But, but I think she's got something here because when Chris Cabin gave me, when we saw the greasy strangler, remember that night?

Yes. I felt like I had a legitimate out-of-body experience on that cupcake he gave me. When he took me to a press screening of sucker punch and I was stoned the next day. There was like a middle of the day. I had to go to work the next day and I'm like, I'm still fucking high.

What did you do to me? Yep. And it's, I mean, there it is. That's the real reason he's not here today. Yeah, he's having an out-of-body experience. He's in his cocoon.

So whatever. More shenanigans at the mall. They get douche. The ladies that are with the bullies are kind of like, that's fucked up. We're getting tired of these guys. And it is kind of a funny, like, they're standing away.

Like, should we forgive them? What the fuck? And then, like, R.D.J. And this other guy are, like, begging, like fake begging for forgiveness. And these girls fold like a towel. Yeah. It's like, oh, let's take them back.

Then they see Kelly LeBrock on the escalator. and they're like, what girl friends? Let's just, it's funny watching the run up the escalator after going down to go pursue her and introducing it's not going well because she's for these other guys. And it was a nice moment having Anthony Michael Hall come up,

be the big man after the icy have this Porsche and whatever. Yeah, although I don't know how they're all like completely fucking cleaned off. There must have been a deleted scene with some more Lisa magic going on, she was like, Avada Calandri, everybody's shirt was cleaned off, you know. But so she, but yeah, and then like there's some weird line where Anthony Michael Hall's like, yep, she loves the rough stuff.

What can I say? What can I say? It's like, what? It's very weird. Wait, what? But it's also a kind of perfect thing for a dumb teenage kid who's never had a lick of sexual encounter in their life. Like it's like, you're just repeating that from some fucking burnt. Reynolds movie you watched her. Um, yeah. Yeah, she, uh, she likes the rough stuff, okay? And now I'm driving

a porch. Yeah, exactly. Dude, if Bert Reynolds says you like the rough stuff, you are in trouble. Uh, is all I can say. By the way, I saw the most insane Bert Reynolds movie recently and everyone should go and try to check this out. It's called The Maddening, directed by Danny Houston of all people. Wow. Okay. And it's like Southern Gothic hellbilly type of stuff. He's like a Fuck. He's like a Floridian nightmare. And you know who's in it? Sloan from Ferris Bueller, yeah, mea, Sarah.

What? Why was I just thinking? 90s. 90s. 90s. Eric, did you write about this movie in the Big Daddy Dispatch? Okay. Yes, I did.

And I reviewed it on Letterbox. Basically, my weekend rituals watching at least one Bert Reynolds movie. Nothing wrong with that. No, because I was like, why does this movie sound so familiar? because I remember also like reading it and being like, he's saying Danny Houston directed it, that Danny Houston? And like literally had to look it up on IMDB

and I was like, that Danny Houston, oh, okay. It's like Bert Reynolds and Angie Dickinson are like these hellbilly type of people that like kidnap. And it's, it's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy. Where did you watch it, dude? I think I just rented it on.

Oh, I thought it was going to be one of the streams. Yeah, no, I just put money down for Bert Reynolds. It's no problem. No, money down. Forever else. The only other detail about this mall parking lot thing is Lisa invites Max and Ian to the big party that's happening at Wyatt's house tonight. Which is sort of something that like it just sort of happens. And again, like, I want her to be like, we're going to throw a party, guys.

It's going to get you all the dates you ever wanted. I guess she's trying to say that. Like, you want popularity. You want a party. Yes. By this point, she's full like, I dream of genie turning a. on lights in the house just by like pointing at them. I do like there's kind of a cool shot where they're going through the house and yet

she's pointing, turning on all the lights and she walks from one room to another like with the boys following her and they do a cool little cut right here where she walks out of view wearing one outfit and has one hairstyle and when she comes into the other room to turn the light on she's dressed and looking completely different. I thought that was kind of neat. And again, this stuff can all be totally acceptable if a magic bolt of lightning or she's the devil or something is in play. Lisa, Lisa, we cannot have a party here

because my dad's got the floor safe upstairs. It's got all the Coke money in at the paint for the house. We just can't have kids, nos it around here, okay? I need to know what these parents do for money because this is insane. The house is outrageous. Again, it puts the McAllister's to shape. And Ferris Bueller.

Yes. And Ferris Bueller. And Ferris Bueller is the shame. I will say if they were like Uber rich, I feel like you're getting a private car to drop you out from the airport. They do pull up at the end of this movie in a hunk-a-junk, yellow cab situation.

Hilariously called Cheap Taxi. I don't know if you notice on the door. It's pretty good. Oh, that's how they stay rich. But to create some complication, ending at us to 90 minutes, Gary has to Lisa has to get Gary

to be able to go to Wyatt's house even though that's not been a problem with the entire movie It seems like he lives there Yeah it's like why does it need permission But sure So now Lisa is at Gary's place We do get to Gary's place

We see Gary's dad Played by the guy From Silent Night Deadly Night Who plays the Toy Store manager guy Yeah Yep There it is I was like

Let's all get shit faced Yeah I was like Where the fuck is this guy from Nailed it That's great That's exactly right. Honestly, yes, this is, this has deleted scene written all over it. You're like, I feel like there's an alternate universe where, like, you're reading trivia about this movie and it's like, did you know there's a deleted scene where Lisa goes to Gary's house and fucks with his parents?

Like, because like this, you're right, it's nothing. He is basically living at Wyatt's house already. But regardless, I think this is very funny. I love when Anthony Michael Hall and the mother are screaming at each other and then the dad's screaming at. at both of them. It's a really, like, this kind of yelling over each other, bluster was reminding me of like, when the Seinfelds are all kvetching at, you know, Del Boca Vista or whatever. Same kind of we're all screaming at the same time, and I'm a sucker for that. She's basically, we're, she's being honest, like, we're going to have a

crazy boles out party, and they're like, you can't take my son to a party, and she's like, why are you so insistent on your son's only sexual experience being tossing off to magazines in your bathroom? The mother freaks out. I never tossed off. I never tossed off. You said you were just showering in the bathroom. What were you doing with the door?

She's like losing it. And the dad's telling them both to shut the fuck up. Hey, Chris, it's me, your brother, Jonathan Nolan. Is that why you say toss it off from weird science? Because here in Chicago, we say Jack and off. I would say Jacket off the whole time. I called you a jet. The guy watches weird science every goddamn weekend.

He's toss it off. I just called you a jerk off no more than 72 hours ago on an email. And here you are saying tossing. That's got to be weird science. I prefer tosser. Thank you. I prefer the tosser. Wanker.

By the way, the dialogue here is amazing because she also says sex drugs and rock and roll. What is it? Chips, dips, chains and whips. Yes. You know your basic high school orgy type of. absolutely and the mother's just fucking crumbling more with each piece of information the dad really gets saucy and then she pulls out a gun uh then i guess she does a magic spell so that he forgets who his son is we know yeah that guy's just got debilitating brain

damage for the rest of his life because he does he's like who's this gary character you keep talking about mother that type of stuff because yeah she's like don't worry gary i took care of it they don't remember a thing and like the mom's like wow i don't know where Gary is. And she's like, who the fucks Gary? It's like, you just got your parents fucking neuralized or at least your father. This was one of the scenes where I noticed

Anthony Michael Hall really funny facial expressions. When she pulls out the gun, the look on his face is one of the funniest things you'll ever see. It's a really good, like, this kid is shitting his pants reacting to this. And she shows later in the car

that it is a squirt gun that looks like a real gun. Right. Doodle. but now the party's happening Yeah, we had to take that fucking five minute detour only to come back to the house that we left to get the party started. Listen, we got four sets and the magical

realism of like, they open the door and every kid in the world is there and they're like, hi, we're here for the party. That's something again, I'm into, like that's a funny joke. All the kids come in, they had so much fucking food at this party. The spread. Oh my God, the spread. And did the computer invent that spread? Did

the computer invent that spread? Did Mom, tastes like, Gigabytes. You're right. Like, does your fake magic food actually taste good? They should be eating all the fucking frosting

from hook. When a little kid there had the fucking food fight? I think magic food like this, when it comes out the other end, it looks like the hook frosting. Oh, okay. Your guts are wrenching.

Oh, my, yeah. You're reeled over that toilet. You're puking and you're shitting because he ate computer food. Yeah, there's no human can eat what fairies create. You know what I mean? Just like the realities can't mix. And your fucking digestive system,

who-hoo. Well, I went to that party last night. We had all that awesome piping hot computer food. Woke up this morning, took a shit. There was just a bunch of neon frosting in the bowl. I don't know what was going on at that kid's house. I'm never going to a party at Wyatt's ever again. Listen, if you're going to

eat computer food, this is how to digest it properly. What you need is a microchip. It's like the smallest little Dorito in the world. And you have one of those That's computer food But at the party Ian and Max are there

With their dates I believe the blonde woman Was in Seinfeld right Andrew She's the fucking respawn In Seinfeld This is Susan Snyder Playing Deb And so she pops up twice on the show

She was Ava The Hot Nazi in the limo Oh cool, yeah And then she's also Audrey way later in the series she's dating Jerry she's the one that refuses to eat the pie

and drives him crazy she's a puppy's daughter that's right yes yes yes oh wow yeah it's fascinating I kept calling them Garfunkel and Oates just because they're a blonde and brunette

and the brunette kind of looks like Kate McCoochie and it's one's dead the blonde is taller than the brunette also she was also in killer clowns from outer space that's right yes and return of the living dead

which is a great movie yeah Yeah, she's, yeah, she's in the first return of Living Dead. Yes, yeah. I was like, that's a movie that I was late to the party on, and I'm like, that movie's awesome. It's so good. It's so fucking funny. And speaking of that movie that has Tom Matthews from Friday the 13th, Part 6, the woman playing hilly, Judy Aronson, not as much going on, but she is a character in previous virtual live show Friday the 13th, the final chapter.

She is killed by Jason Voorhees While she's just like out on a boat Like in the middle of the night Like nobody wants to swim naked with me And he shoves the like machete up through the boat Or raft or whatever it is What are the rare non-window related murders in that film Oh man

Got to stab her through the raft No windows around here I guess all right Yeah Jason's installing a window on the boat Before he can do it And also like I think this is this is where the last

of the extended cut things comes into play because the party's just getting started Gary and Wyatt total losers hiding in the fucking bathroom Come on guys

doorbell rings and it's all it's the line of people from the mall like when Kelly LeBrock walks by all those people it's like a bunch of dudes and then one woman

Oh that's a funny joke because the pretty woman is playing and all these dudes turn their head like holy shit and one girl turns out like holy shit yes that group of people

returns you see them riding their bikes or whatever up to the house. They're all wearing Devo helmets with flashing red lights on top of them. And they go up to the house and she answers the door. And they're like, oh, we're friends of Wyatt's. Like, can we come into the party? And all the people in the party turn to the door and scream, no, leave. And then Lisa's like, oh, you can come in and let's the man.

And that's the other extended scene. Did people not like Devo? Is that the joke there? I don't know. I think it's just more nerds coming into the party. Well, here's my question. I didn't know that Devo and Oingo Boingo were cool. I thought it was like East Coast, West Coast,

got a blood feud. Right. Like this shit got really tough between Mark Mothersboro. And both went on to be accomplished composers, Brothersboro and Elfman. I'll never forget where I was when Danny Elfman's car got shot up. Yeah, he was just coming out of that casino in Vegas, and they shot his car up and he was killed.

That was a real bummer. But yeah, you're right. There can only be one art pop weirdo on the soundtrack. God damn it. Shooting. They hear gunshots. Everybody ducks down, but he's just got a big keyboard like,

Gotcha. Yeah. Sounds like a gunshot, but it isn't. And now the party is underway. You know, one pretty good joke. I think this guy,

Mitch from the blues bar, has a good line here. Oh, yes. Right? Yeah, this Max, the friend of R.D.J. is asking for a bottle of scotch. First one, he says, you know, and he says, why don't you bend over and I'll shove it right

up your ass? On the rocks is fine. Yes. And he calls him a jive turkey, which is awesome. Yeah, because they do go up to him and it's a whole like, hey, brother man. And like R.D.J. kind of like puts the solidarity fist up. And this dude not having any of it, which is pretty funny. By the way, speaking of RDJ, his clothing in this movie, it looks identical to back to school. and I'm wondering is this just how R.DJ dressed in the 80s? I think so. I think it's how people dressed in pretty close to how he looked in Tough Turf as well. Right? It's like all the same kind of wardrobe.

There is something about RGJ here that I did want to hit. How he drove this other guy to his audition for Nightmare and Elm Street 2 and he got it. That's really nice. No, but the two of them apparently. These two guys. Yes. In an interview with Howard Stern, Robert Downey Jr., cleared up the rumors that he defecated

in Kelly LeBrock's trailer. He stated that he and his co-star, Robert Rosler, Max, joked about defecating in people's trailers throughout the shoot. They eventually did it in one female cast member's trailer, but it was not LeBrock. John Hughes questioned everyone in the cast and see who did it. And when he got to

Downey, he replied, no, but I sure wish it was me who did it. He stated that there was never any tension between him and Hughes and he highly respected his friendship. So that's so that's crazy cocaine RDJs. What does that mean? Does it mean shitting in the toilet or is that mean shooting on the floor? That was what I was just going to ask, right?

I would say shitting on the floor. Like if you went to the bathroom in someone's bathroom, it's like, well, who cares? You know what Jared Leto's been doing to prank people? But, you know, you can take a dump and like leave it in the toilet. And then that's like, oh, someone left a poo in me trailer. Yeah. You know, it could be that versus, yeah. drop and trow and shit on the floor like a dog

is that what we're talking about here you should do you put like a zip lock baggy I don't know around your asshole like you save it is that and then you bring it to another location would that be easier because then you could wipe your ass I think my cat's been hanging out with RDJ dude because he's been going outside the litter box lately and I'm like what's going on

what are we got to do here man that you got to change up that fucking Thomas said feed but the litter box Yeah, I think I need to get to do something. It's either that or you're doing something wrong and he's letting you know about it. Oh, yeah, he's pissed about it. Anthony Michael Hall, while they're in this fucking bathroom, hiding from their own party. It's just such supreme, this is like the loserist they get, I feel, hiding in this bathroom.

There's one part, though, it's very funny. He goes, if you're going to float an airburger, let me know, which is, if you're going to fart, let me know about it. But then this kid takes a shit in front of him instead. I feel like again you're missing, like there's so much meat on the bone here where like maybe they go out in the party and Gary's having a great time and he becomes a life of the party and why it's jealous and he's like, you know what I mean?

Like these kinds of sort of things can happen and like and there's a rip of their friendship. It's like, oh no, you're being cool without me. I'll never be cool. Whatever. You know what I mean? Right. That's something.

They can't like write these characters as they have to be the same. same person. It's like the same. It's like, God damn, what were their name? Gary and Wyatt are like, Gary and Wyatt enter the room.

You can't just have Gary or Wyatt. They should be more separate. They should be more separate. The dialogue is totally interchangeable too. You know what I mean? It's my house. Gary.

That's it. One is from, you know, his father's a plumber. The other one is Pablo Escobar's accountant. And that's all you know. I mean, yeah,

because that's how you have, that's how you have a really good like end of your second act is like Gary takes off becomes the life of the party the house is destroyed you fucked up my house Gary and you're the popular one and my house is shit out and we're

for you know whatever five to 15 minutes of the movie we're not best buds you know instead it just gets wackier and wackier and the stuff just stuff just starts to happen at this point now it's like now shit's just off the rails

meanwhile we cut to Wyatt's grandparents which let you know he's definitely old money by the way these two fuckers because they're eating it's like they're eating at the restaurant from the Blues Brothers and they're like oh mother we should stop by Wyatt I think that he must be so scared

home alone we'll stop by and say hello the grandmother's got a great line here though she goes nothing's more important to a teenage boy than his grandparents and eventually when they get frozen in the closet that Chet says, and when he surprisingly looks in there, hi Nana, hi, Grampy.

Nice. Look at this. Grampy existed in weird science. It's crazy. Oh, dude. I need a whole list of Grampy in cinema. And I love that it's just Bill Paxon just call on his grandfather, Grampy all the time.

Oh, hey, Grampy, Grampy. Does anyone call their grandparents Grampy anymore right into the mailbag? We all hate movies at gmail. that kind of can i tell you something do you do it no i don't have any grandparents well you did it's presumably i did no unless you're a computer guy uh no never never met my uh paternal grandfather but my maternal grandfather we did not call him grampi but my father to some of my nieces and nephews is grampy oh wow yeah wow you're a grampi yeah and sometimes my mother shortens it to Gramps.

And I'm like, I'm like, who are you, Bif tanning? Gramps is cool, but creepy. It just adding that Y, it's just creepy. It's weird. Well, it's also a thing where it's like, there's like multiple grandfathers or like, you know, we're having different names, you know, somebody had to fall on Graham. They're all jazz musicians. The thing that sets the party into wackiness mode is,

Max and Ian are like, hey, guys, how about if we give you our girlfriends, you lease Lisa to us or like whatever's going on here? And so they're like, how about we do our same computer thing again for you guys and make you a babe that you two can also share? And then this is, I mean, it goes absolutely insane again. There's a fun sequence of a girl playing a piano who gets, we finally get some titties in this film. Thank God. Yeah. Click and check at my watch. Of course it's, you know, not exactly consensual because it's the clothing being ripped off of her while it goes up the chimney.

Through weird science means and like all the crazy stuff's happening again. And the weird part is like, wouldn't this be a cool way to maybe set up like an evil Lisa or something or like something like, you know what I mean? But it just, it's a missile because they don't they don't do with a Barbie doll. There's a magazine with a nuclear missile on it. You had to be big shots, didn't you? And you forgot one big thing. We forgot to hook up the doll. You forgot to hook up the doll.

It's like, this is not science. None of it makes sense. And also, like, the missile means nothing at the end of it. It's not even like, oh, shit, the missile's going to go off. So, you know what I mean? That would be funny if it launched. Or like it armed itself or whatever. And there was a ticking clock to this plot maybe.

The Russians get involved. I don't know, like something. Oh, would that be something? Because again, all the stuff starts happening without consequence or precursor. And it's just random. This is where R.D.J. yells, I'm shitting my pants. Which is very funny. I would love a cutaway to Russia.

Like, Dimitri, the Americans have made a computer woman. We shall make our own. This is why, especially when you introduce like a nuclear missile into the movie, I mean, this is a great reason why fake John Ritter and his other government co-workers from that one hack scene should be on the trail of what's going on. Oh, now we've, we have, you know, radiation signals coming from this place. What's going on in Shermer, Illinois? Yeah, like an antagonist.

It could be the government, like war games a little bit. Yeah, that'd be fun. I mean, very much a war games vibe, right? But the missile is just there. And I mean, it is whack ado to look at at a certain point. Now, now the magic is going crazy. This is when the kitchen turns blue, which is a cool effect. I like the way that looks.

I like all this stuff. It's very fun. All this stuff is changing the dogs on the ceiling, like you mentioned earlier. There's a guy that gets beamed into the television set, and he's there with Frankenstein, and he's scared. They change the channel. Now he's, like, flying through the air, like an airplane, basically. That's pretty great. That's some fucking Freddie Kruger's shit right there.

Or that's in that Twilight Zone, the Twilight Zone, the movie. The kid gets stuck up the TV, and that's terrifying. Oh, yeah. Not about that. I try to not rewatch that or think about it. It's got some funny parts. Listen, the Lithgow remake of, you know, nightmare at 30,000 feet or whatever is great,

but also children were decapitated making a movie. And a grown man lost his head as well. All that said, that's a good sequence, the victim was a sequence. But I really didn't like the kid that controls everything, you know. Yeah, the Anthony. That's what the TV. Yeah, no, no, that's two different.

The Kid that goes out of the The It's a Wonderful Life, the Anthony riff from that's right. And then the kick the cat is the most boring thing that's ever happened. Oh, right. I forgot about that. Yes. Of course you would. Yes. It's so boring. So here's, so she's like, they need a challenge. And like she summons a biker gang, which if she, if it was just a thing where like, you know, you cut to a grody bar down the hall down the road and like they all go, let's go to the party. You don't know. I know where a party is. And these real bikers go to. do this thing. And it's so funny that it's, it's two out of three. It's Michael Barryman from

the Hills Have Eyes, who's freaky looking, sure, right? Sure, yeah. Yep. And then there is the dude, the great dude from, uh, from Mad Max to Vernon Wells. Vernon Wells, uh, who gets the most dialogue who's fantastic in this movie. Playing like the same character. It's basically yes. Yes. And he actually, it's weird because it's a John Hughes movie, uh, they won't let him be gay in this movie. So he's got a lady on a leash, which is kind of odd. Yep, totally. As long as they're leashed, I'm happy. And then finally, you get this mute from Mandy Nightmare guy.

And I'm like, well, what the fuck is that everybody? My notes is the Mandy Biker Devens. Yes. It's definitely that. He also actually looks like another one of the Hills have eyes guys. Like it kind of looks like the father of the clan or whatever. And he's got like robot voice and all this shit. And I'm like, I just like that guy doesn't need to be in the movie.

Because then they're from hell As opposed to just like Literally bikers that are Because like the guys from the the blues bar Are just dudes from the blues bar You know what I mean? But if she was the devil It would make total sense

Can I tell you how you you could have done it though And it would like her magic Like it would have been justified Keep in that opening conversation With the two of them Wyatt and Gary Because in that Anthony Michael Hall is talking about

how the scariest movie he's ever seen is Dawn of the Dead and so you have all right so then you flash forward to this part of the movie Lisa goes those boys need a challenge she looks and maybe Wyatt also a fan of Dawn of the Dead or whatever the fuck has like a zombie

poster on the wall and she goes hmm and then the house is besieged by zombies and that's like a thing that you can kind to play with or shit maybe he's got a fucking road warrior poster and that's why that dude is literally Wes. Yes. But it's, they come in there on motorcycles

and riding around his house. Everyone is terrified. They steal their dates, you know. At this point, they are hitting it off with both Kildi and Deb or whatever. I mean, they're hiding the closet at one point and these bikers ripped them through the drywall, which is pretty cool.

That's kind of, speaking of Jason Borges, dude. Like, that guy comes right through that drywall and pulls that kid through. It's kind of funny. Averted Wells is awesome in this sequence. He's so good. He's so funny. The dialogue is so not appropriate for him

because he's just talking like a high school he's like you and your lousy dates you bunch of nids or whatever he's saying. You two unpopular dicks having a party. Yes.

He knows that they're unpopular. How would all your friends here like to hear that you wear a bra on your head? Yes, yes. Tossed off to any good books lately. Oh, yes. But so this is White and Gary. I do like

that the way that they sort of summoned this courage is because they've both accepted they're going to die anyway, which is pretty funny. So it's like, all right, let's start telling off these dudes. Anthony Michael Hall coming in hot with that other fucking F-bomb right away

at Wes's face here. What are you and your F-bomb friends get out of here? And it's like, oh, really? And then he pulls out the gun from earlier. And this freaks them all out. you know.

Right. Gary or Wyatt winds up getting Wes's shotgun away from him. Yes. And they sort of leave quietly.

I like the woman, yes, with a collar and chain around her neck, being like, oh, you know, thanks for the party.

He's a lovely house. Yeah. It's so good. Like, what was it? The guy with like the metal face. It's like terribly,

sorry, call me. We can do lunch some time. And then Pluto from the Hills have eyes or whatever is like, I'd hate to lose my teaching job.

Can you keep this between us? Yes. Oh, that's so. fucking funny. And all of them, it makes more sense. If that guy isn't from hell, I don't know why he needs to be a mutant. I really don't.

It's so weird. Although, you know what's very funny about it, though? Because, like, one of the things is when they're terrorizing the party, they're driving the motorcycles, like, up and down the staircase. Anytime there's wild motorcycle driving, if you look to the motorcycle that it's supposed to be carrying Michael Barryman,

it's a stunt guy with, like, a cone head guy, fake to make him look like that. dude who's got the abnormality that's like, you know, he was just born with it or whatever, but like, like, if they have to make the stunt guy look like that guy and he ain't wearing a hat, so he's just the stunt man has a cone head on. If you're

a Michael Barryman and you're like getting a snack, like, oh, you know, I just, I know I'm not, you did today, it's just the stunt stuff, but I just kind of want to watch John, oh, you got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah, man. But I figured out, Steve, why they have to, that they could be mutants, is because they live among you.

They're all around. That's true. Westchester. Oh, he is. My friend Michael Berryman. Oh, you know, he was done dirty, you know, in the film Weird Science, you see. When they put the stuntman in, it was a man with a rubber cone head on. And his superpower is having a pointy head.

You know, sometimes I can control all of humanity with my thoughts. He's got a pointy head. It's just, it's a lottery system, really. The mutant god works in mysterious ways. Oh, yes, and metal face. What an accomplished biker he is. No, that's it. His face has got some metal stuff.

Not all the way metal, but some metal parts. He actually, I realize now it's kind of like a precursor to Cano in Mortal Kombat. Yeah, it's a little bit. Because it appears like metal is like implanted into his face. He looks mostly like the woman in Superman 3 who gets turned into a computer, which still gives me nightmares. But always scared me. And honestly, this movie, when I was, because I saw, this like very young, kind of got

a little scared of Chet being turned into that monster coming. Yeah. It's kind of freaky. Yeah. I was like, how did that happen? Anyway. Great line when everybody leaves or whatever. I do love, first of all, the joke of Anthony Michael Hall

being like, wow, we got him. Did you believe how we saved all these people? And he's waving the gun and all the kids are ducking. That's very funny. That's funny. I like that part. Yeah. And it turns out to be a real gun, which is the joke. Yeah, he finds it up. It shoots down a light fixture. Yeah, all that. But what's great, and man, just like, weird how sometimes this stuff kind of lines up

where he's talking about how, like, oh, we're going to be famous because of this, blah, blah, blah, blah. We might even get a guest spot on Phil Donahue, RIP, Phil Donahue, by the way. Very recently RIP, yeah, sad story. Driven off the airwaves for being a critical of the Iraq war, right? He got, yes, something he got pushed out for. Yeah, I don't really remember. But, yeah, Phil Donahue. pretty all right guy i have to say you look back on some of the the folks he had on his show there

that he gave airtime to uh real deal um LGBT community like a shock of white hair you know like a real deal like a fucking my hair is white absolutely and i think he was a dude that like his hair was fucking stone white when he was like 42 exactly yeah he's like an unfunny Steve mark God, that's very accurate. And then like now the guys and the girls hook up, right? Basically like Wyatt and the brunette get together and Gary and the blonde get together. The blonde seems a little more impactful where she's like, well, you made Lisa. How am I ever going to compete with that?

He's like, no, if I ever made her again, I'd make her to look just like you. Honestly, Anthony Michael Hall has some really good lines at the end of the movie here, like well-written lines. I mean, like, that whole exchange is really nice. And then in a few minutes when he drops her off and he's like, this isn't my car, these aren't my clothes, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, why are you telling me this? And he's like, because I want you to like me for who I am. It's a very well-written scene.

The movie finally decides who's the protagonist. And I kind of leave the other kid to the side here. I mean, he still has that moment with his girl. But it's like, it's way more impactful and longer with Anthony Michael Hall. Because also with Wyatt, his whole night with Hilly that we see or whatever, that all just ends on a joke where she goes, you know, they're going to kiss or whatever. And he's like, she says, would you kiss me? He goes, what about Ian? She says we all make mistakes.

To which he responds, the last line of their scene, where do you want it? What? That's what he says. Hey, where do you want it? I'm a downtown idea. right here I guess that's the joke and they don't really have

a nice moment the way that Anthony Michael Hall does because also this woman wakes up because Bill Paxton's fucking freaking out basically the order operations is they kind of hook up they all kind of sleep together Bill Paxton wakes them up with a shotgun

in cold blood style and gathers them into the family room returning back Again, in cold blood style. I love that, yeah. It was right before Christmas. He was like returning from a hunting trip or something. He's got this shotgun.

Holding just a dead duck by its like neck. Yeah, that's very strange. Because like, where was he that whole night? They don't give Chet an out there. They don't. They're like, oh, goddamn, Chet's going to be here while our parents are gone. But clearly there's probably a scene deleted of like he's going to the lake house or something. He's going hunting. They're huge,

they're huge lakehouse that this rich family of course. And he's like, all right, now you turd burglars better not do anything while I'm gone or whatever. Like that's a scene that kind of needs to me in the movie. I need that scene. I need the bride of Frankenstein scene. I need the scene where

the devil through a bolt of lightning takes over the computer. Now it's the devil through a magic bolt of lightning takes over the super government computer. Do I have that right? Excellent.

And all it does is make a lady. A magical lady. We do. He does find the grandparents. They are terrifying in this closet. It's like my vague fear of old people. It's very lynchy and these two like stuck with grimaces on their face. They came over during the party and like delay like their fucking freak out.

She freezes them because she can do that. She can just press pause on you and puts them into this. closet. Yeah, and that's what Chet opens it up. And it was like, hi, Nana, hi, Grampy. Wait, what? Yes. And he's got a shotgun. He's rounded. Everybody, I was like, I want to know what's going on here. He's shoving the shotgun into, not, I don't understand shoving a shotgun into your brother's face. I've done it and I'll do it again. But sure.

To the girl, to the, to the girl he's with it's shoving it in her nose. Yeah. It's a little much. And then he, he definitely like boops both of them on the head with it as he leaves the room. That's fair game. Basically, at least it's like, I'm going to time. Me and Chet are going to have a talk. You drive the girl. So we already talked about this.

Because again, like, it's so funny, like what we decided to do in this movie. Aside from having the scene where it makes sense where Chet would be gone for the thing. No, we're going to have a weird car chase for fun. You know what I mean? Like just that's weird. An 11th hour car chase just to do it. We've seen sports cars. I guess we need a chase apparently.

So he's taking her home. And then the cops come after him because he can't tell which. which which is the miles per hour, I guess, is the idea of here? Yeah. Or the RPMs or whatever. He's looking at the RPMs and thinks that it's miles per hour. But you would know you're not going 30 miles an hour if you're going 90. Right.

I mean, again, like dumb, dumb kid excuse, I guess. But like me as a dumb 15 year old kid would know what is and is not 30 miles an hour. We do get a classic, which I want this to happen to me one day. You make a cop throw his hat on the ground, a jump. bump and down a couple of times. He definitely does a like weave in between the railroad marker to like get through the tracks. That's, you're going to fucking kill your girlfriend after your first date, buddy. You got to be careful here.

But yes, he drops her off, why it drops his girl off, they come back. And what they come back to is Chet being a unholy goblin. It's brutal. He's a pile whale shit is what it looks like with arms and teeth and a face. He's like one of the early designs of critters And like no one wants to watch a whole movie of that And they just scrapped it They're like oh, you can use it

Yeah like oh that's the scene where they discover The King Critter and he looks like this And everybody was like no It's just insane like you make a lady On your computer now it's turning people Until like slug frog monsters It's just nasty that eats like a fly Like he's got a huge frog tongue rather

He eats a fly with a frog tongue And the whole thing is like Well you've got to be nice to your brother and this, then, the other thing. And he is like, now it's funny because Bill Capaxon's voice out of this monster

and he's like, hey guys, how's it going, dudes? And he's like being really nice. I got to say, and you just kind of made it feel even more so, but you have this puppet thing

and it's going, hey, dudes, what's up? And it is Paxton, California kind of voice or whatever. It's kind of like a Ninja Turtle character at that point. It's vaguely Ninja Turtle-esque, yes, for sure.

Yes, thank you. Ninja Turtle ask, yes. Yeah, yeah. By the way, Wyatt, you are throwing that relationship in the garbage before it started sir, because the girl Haley is like, well, I'm going to certainly be grounded

for this and it's kind of a funny jail thing he's like, well, I'll wait for you, whatever. She goes to the door, he goes, hey, Haley. And she turns around and he goes, I love you. And she's like we just met, this is maybe wait three days. Seriously. Maybe when she's

out of being grounded, maybe you can greet her with and I love you. Maybe. You say I love you like that on the first day. You just knows the second your pants come off, you're going to come. Like there's not even, there's not even a chance for any penetration. Did that happen last night? An instant does, you know. Oh, but yeah, maybe that's what I was.

Sorry, Hilly. I just got a little excited there. Oh, geez. You didn't even get through your gymnastics routine. Weird science. Oh, yeah, dude. They got to like mix it in with the beat. weird times

it's alive from my cock to my hand Why doesn't she understand weird science Oh man Premiseal ejaculation Is it real It is

It certainly is But so like And this is what bugs me about It's the end of the movie There's a nice like you know Lisa's like I'm going to get changed to get out of here and she's like kind of a businessy kind of attire

you know what I mean like she's like well when Mary Poppins leaves the house she's in her formal war too at the end of the adventure and like you know it's funny because the boys know that they have to break up with her even though she is totally cool with it you know what to me like this is what she wanted but she gets choked up you know it's been a fun ride

guys or whatever and like goes away and the last the ending is so stupid the ending is nothing. It's not a punchline because a punchline needs to be set up. Her being the new gym teacher is like another

you get her in a cool leotard of, which is fine, but that's the reason for the scene. It is and then all the boys faint. Like, weird science. It needs to be a thing like she's obsessed with like, you know, I always wanted to be a flight attendant or something and then like at the edge of the flight. Like

there needs to be some thing to set up to make it quick. She was made as a sex object and she's like, I'm going to go be sex object at the high school gymnasium. The only thing that makes sense is that she wants to really fuck a 15 year old boy. That's the only thing that she wants. She just wants to straighten

these kids out. Sure. She doesn't want to bang any of them. That's what she even says. She says to them, I'm really just getting off seeing you two guys get straightened out. It's a line that she says to them. Also, why it doesn't make sense even more, Steve, that she's just the gym coach at the

end, is because in the scene right before that, we have this little intermediary thing where it's like why it's parents come home. Oh, right. But when she's like, all right, guys, I got to go now. And she steps back through the door and just fog comes up

and she vanishes. Yes. So how she goes from vanishing in the doorway to literally working at a high school. It's so, and listen, this is what happens when you write a script in two coked out days without sleeping. Yeah. I don't know

man, maybe she just, she evaporates to a pile of white smoke. Yeah, that'll do. That's just how she travels now. But also, yeah, she reversed everything in the house. The missiles go back underground to God knows where. I love all the reverse footage. It's fun.

Yeah, it is. The fucking piano going back in. It's all very cool. But yeah, it just ends that John Hughes, I'm looking at the camera and isn't this all funny? Weird science. That's the end of it. Go around the horn here, though, for some final thoughts. recommendations for John Hughes

Weird Science. Eric Siska. Yeah, no, I mean, it's got its moments. It's not, obviously, it's a lesser John Hughes for reasons cited within, but it has some fun moments, and it's got an amazing soundtrack. I really like a lot of the music

in this, and you know, part of its nostalgia, I saw this a bunch growing up. I mean, it's a very light recommend to not recommend. I give it two and a half on letter box, but I'm still kind of like, yeah, if you haven't seen it you know check it out

Steve Sadek yeah it's a not recommend for me like I said I never really like this movie and it this time didn't help too much it's just like there are some good jokes some good performances Bill Paxson's pretty good Michael Hawes moments

you know Lisa is is effective at points but it just sort of like it's the script that just sort of never wants to make anything hang together and like by the end of it it's 90 minutes, which is great. It's just sort of like,

ah, that happened. All right. It's one random thing after another. And that, as opposed to something that is a bit more thought out or has any rules or structure to it. So there you go. Yeah, no, I'd say this is,

it's a light recommend for me. You know, I won't go so far as to say like, it's a problematic fave. It's a problematic-y nostalgia movie for me. Because I did see it a bunch as a kid. And like I said, I embarrassingly watched.

that TV show a lot, which by the way, I realized also, so Lisa is played by the woman who's in Kingpin. Yes. In the TV show. Venice Angel. Yes. And Lee Turgeson from Oz, among other things, is Chet on the show. Oh, wow.

Yeah, the other two guys are complete and total nobodies, as far as I could tell. But, yeah, I mean, you could go way worse. I mean, I don't think it's an amazing comedy. I think I said on Letterbox, an extra half star, possibly even an extra full star. for just loving the fucking soundtrack and the nostalgia of it all. But yeah, I'd recommend. Not the best movie in the world, but definitely I think the worst,

unless Curly Sue, like Jim Baloochie's pulling some real fucked up shit in that movie that I don't remember. I still think Weird Science is the worst movie John Hughes directed. I know he wrote other movies, and some of them are also not good. But as far as his directorial body of work, I think this is The Pits.

And again, it might be one of his worst scripts. you've got to take more than two days on something. You just do. Wait a second. This TV show lasted five seasons. That's huge. Five seasons. That's why I was trying to say, Steve, when you were like, why didn't they do an evil

Lisa? I stopped and I was like, did they do a fucking evil Lisa on that TV show? Or am I thinking of Quantum Leap where there was the Evil Leaper? Oh, yes. Oh, God, I love Quantum Leap. Hell yeah. But that is going to do it for this episode. But don't worry.

if you want more we hate movies action head on over to that Patreon Patreon.com slash we hate movies where holy moly this week or this month I should say the month of September the we love movie selection big fat guy two and a half hour episode all about Matt Reeves the Batman

that was a lot of fun so if you haven't checked that out yet it's been up for a couple weeks definitely get in on that what do we got going on Steve animation damnation something fun this month it's Batman the animated series want to do the first Ridler episode kind of tying it

yeah the great John Glover yeah and you know we're going to be doing on too old for this shit which is a top tier Patreon show we're going to be covering the penguin that show so we're kind of getting batty here leading up to it by doing the Batman fever

very excited to get into that new offering for you folks now Eric because we're recording this a little in advance do we have the Gleep Glossary schedule. I can tell you the Gleap Glossary this month for September will be a Star Wars character will be discussing. It'll be so much fun.

This is our Star Wars Shide show where I tell the guys these old EU stories that are just because people might not know the Star Wars expanded universe got really nutty and ridiculous and we kind of take the piss out of it

on this show. That's right. So that's going on. We'll, of have an all new Melro 210 where we're going through another bunk tacular episode of Beverly Hills 90210 and a sex tacular episode of Melrose plays. That's guaranteed. Don't forget the nexus where we talk about Star Trek the next generation and now we've completed the entirety of Star Trek the original series. You can go back to us to us recap literally every single episode including the pilot, the cage and all that stuff. So we're now pairing TNG with What are we called Toastas?

Toasters. That is the original series, the animated series. That's right. That's been a lot of fun. So, yeah, all that going on on the Patreon. And also, if you're hip to it, you have indeed listened to all of this weird science episode. Add free on the Patreon at the $8 level or up. But if you had some commercials and you were like, damn those we hate movies, boys in their commercials, guess what? $8 and up tiers on our Patreon.

You get these bad boys without any commercial interruptions. Now, Steve Sadek, next week, next Tuesday, there's an all-new brand spanking, brand-new episode of We Hate Movies, and it's going to be a fun one, I think. Season 15 rolls on, get your life jackets, because we're aboard of the Poseidon. Oh, yeah. Or just Poseidon. It's the Poseidon Adventure remake, to be very clear. From 2006, with Kurt Russell playing, you guessed it, the mayor of New York City. Yeah, I fucking wish.

Oh, dude, yeah, absolutely. Dude, get my vote. He would not need ranked choice voting to get his fucking ass in the chair. No, absolutely not. Yeah, no, I will tell the tale of what happened to me watching this movie in theaters. So that is going to be a lot of fun. I'm excited to revisit this movie because it's a disaster movie that's under 100 minutes, I'm pretty sure. Love that.

So you do love that. So that's going to do it for this week. Thanks for tuning in. Until next week, while we're talking Poseidon from 2006, I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Seder. Eric Sisko. Take it easy. Thank you.