We Hate Movies - S15 Ep765: Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

“So, we start with pornography!” - Steve on the opening scene On this episode, our FOUR-OR MOVIE-themed Halloween Spooktacular comes to a close with a wild discussion about the pseudo-return-to-form sequel, Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled! How hilarious are all these additional djinn characters? How thinly written is this lead couple? Is their lawyer doing this pro-bono because he’s pro-boner? Was this djinn actually buddies with Caligula? And do the Highlander folks have a case here? PLUS: How hilarious is that fashion boutique decapitation?  Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled stars Tara Spencer-Nairn, Michael Trucco, Jason Thompson, Kimberly Huie, Mariam Bernstein, John Benjamin Martin, and John Novak as the Djinn; directed by Chris Angel. Be sure to catch the replay of last week’s Scream 4 digital show! Both the show and the After Party Q&A are available to stream now through the November 6!  Head to our website for all ticketing information on our final shows of the year in Seattle, Portland (Oregon) & Boston! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Bus Movie, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!   Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey, y'all, couldn't join us for last week's spectacular Scream 4 show? No problem. The replay of that show and the after-party Q&A are currently available through Wednesday, November 6th. Head to our website where you also find information on our final three IRL shows of the year in Seattle, Washington, Portland, Oregon, in Boston, Massachusetts, WHMpodcast.com for all ticketing info now. Let's talk about

Wishmaster 4. This week on the program, the four-or month of programming comes to an end with a movie that's almost a soft-core porno. It's Wishmaster, Colin, the Prophecy fulfilled. I'm Andrew Jupin. Oh, I'm Stephen the Zadak.

Eric Forska. Uh, Chris, the Cabin, fulfilled. There we go. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes.

That is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wickham Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies?

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative! What an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right, man.

It's sad to say. It's spectacular. Coming to an end this week. Talking about this Wishmaster four. The final four. Can we just get one more? Four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four. Isn't that crazy?

That's the last time we'll ever say that? We're never going to do that ever again. Ever again. So sad. It's not going to happen. This is great. crazy. This is, uh, came out in 2002. It's directed by a dude spells it differently. Chris Angel, which is very funny. Nice. I got to tell you, man, I, you know, we made this in 2001. We should

have not have been putting out Wishmaster movies after the towers went down. I'll tell you right now. I guess there's a dark energy that was awakened on that day. Well, I know Bush pushed for that. But of course, we were like, they were letting him get away with a lot. Thank you, Chris. But for some reason, they did not. That's what they, that's what they whispered that they were, that they were filming Wishmasters three and four back to back, which did happen. For some reason, and the casts are different, so I'm confused.

Same director. This was back to back? Yes, back to back. Like Lord of the Rings. They supposedly took like a weekend off. Well, the third one is really bad, and it's got a lot of nudity. But this one is a return to form. Not a good return to form, but sort of.

You're trying to make a Wishmaster movie. That third one is not a wishmaster. I was genuinely, like, beguiled by this movie. I love that. Like, there's some, there's so many, there's so many decisions that just completely turn me, like, what are you doing? Why? Sure. Full disclosure, this was the one movie in our four-or selection that none of us had seen.

All four of us going in blank. We were just looking at what fours were left. We were like, ooh, the wishmaster, how bad could it be? And honestly, I think we turned out okay. Yeah, if this was, if we were here chatting three, three years. then we'd be like you know what wow we really fucked ourselves but actually Eric and I have seen it and Chris has seen part of it

and you've seen part of it too Steve so I think we all would have been like it's a hard no on Wishmaster 3 but this was like what are we going to do it's the boring one the third one is the boring one somehow they fucked I don't know how with just how you're saying the production like this is like genuinely

there's some there is style to it it's absolutely bewildering but like there is some the gore is weird and, like, genuinely, like, hard to take at certain points. I was like, that is intense shit, man. Did you think this was, like, terrifier levels? Were you scared? Oh, no, no.

I mean, not. Did you pull the blanket up? It was too cheap to, like, be, like, uh, that level. But I was just like, you run behind the couch. Yes, I, how, what couch am I running behind? Well, and also, that's what I did when I was, when I was a little kid and when it was too scary. Oh, you remember.

Chris Cabin famously puts his couches up against walls. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. ball guy. Well, I allow now that, I mean, I had nothing to do with the designing of my house. I will have you know. Isn't that what he says in Ronan, Robert Deere? I always put

a couch at the back of the walls. I never know how to get out of a room without the couch. That's right. Behind me. That's right. It's smart for when they're coming to kill you. Exactly. But like, the first two deaths I guess, in both cases, is like, wow, that's a fucking lot. They almost run out of money,

it seems, because certain wishes later on are not articulated. or shown you don't see the deaths you don't see the deaths and I'm like what the fuck is going on like this woman that runs the fucking boutique or whatever yeah I want to see her fuck to death yeah she basically wishes to be fucked to death and like I need to see there's like crunching noises I'm like that's not doing it's like just just to be just to be just to be just to be just to be just to be very Steve put his foot down for a couple of minutes oh man that's over that's a tough that is not a fun movie I'll look so we can't do it no we cannot no we can't Steve put his foot down. I was going to tell the folks at home, maybe. It's a very serious rape. Ghost rape. Very long scenes.

I mean, not a lot of laughs to be had there. Isn't that the movie with Cassavetes, though? What's the one I'm thinking of? What's the one with the Cassavetes and like the psychic girl? Oh, the ghost that smokes. Are you talking about the Fury? Yes, where fucking Cassavetes explodes at the end of that. Oh, really?

That's fucking awesome. It's a good movie. That's a poma. Oh, it's a De Palma movie? Oh, I didn't know. Kirk Douglas, John Cassavetes, and I forget that the third person. That's just, you go to a haunted house. I swear, someone's smoking in here.

We quit years ago. I just keep smelling it. Do you smell it, honey? Dude, I got to tell you, I thought someone was smoking in the grocery store today. I went to the grocery stores, pick up a couple things, and I'm walking around. I was like, somebody fucking smoking in this New York City grocery store? Your nostrils are still getting used to it after Vegas, where everything smells like cigarettes. That's true.

Everything. The sweet, sweet smell of tobacco. It underlines everything. You go to a fucking KFC. You smell cigarettes. Someone in my building smokes. So, like, that will, the vent, if they're cooking broccoli or something, it'll be in my fucking bathroom.

But sometimes if they're smoking, it'll be in my bathroom. I'm like, well, that just sucks. You're smoking broccoli down there? Wow. Well, I've got the perfect segue for this. When God breathed fire into the universe. Perfect. The light gave birth to angels and the earth gave birth.

to man, I guess like the orcs and Lord of the Ring. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. And fire gave birth to the gin. So keep this in mind. We're going to go, this is the opening scroll of the film we're talking about. Yeah. God breathed fire into the universe. So that means the Jins were first,

number one. Yes, absolutely. And then the light of that, birthed angels, and I guess the light warmed the earth and then the men came out of the ground. Yes. Well, I don't know about that part. Well, it was birthed. They were birthed. And then the gin, they were creatures condemned

to dwell in the void between the worlds. Yes. According to ancient prophecy the one who wakens a jinn shall be given three wishes if the third wish is granted the unholy legions of the jinn will be unleashed upon the earth

fear only one thing. The fear of the jim. My response to that is who gives a fuck? What does it have to do with anything in the movie? Yeah, what the, if you're here for the fourth one, you know what the wishmaster is. Where are Prometheus stole fire from the guns? Oh, no, no.

Oh, okay, this is not Athoniommer. We were doing our Prometheus episode. Oh, right. And then Robert Oppenheimer lives between the worlds of the two. I'm in the space between spaces. The success. But do you believe in the spaces between spaces, Robert? Can you hear the music?

The success rate on the gin is pathetic. Yeah. thousands of years hundreds and thousands of gin apparently we're like a dimension hundreds of thousands where's the census numbers that's a great question all right maybe I count four right even if it is there are four we see in this film fair point so maybe it's just

for four four four four oh my god it wasn't the last time we said it but for hundreds none of what none of these guys could string three wishes together for one person well that was the thing I was thinking of like the other three movies I'm like nobody got the three nobody gets there yeah nobody gets there are we sure about it because they always rush the last bit i think it's you get like he's very methodical about getting to the three then when it is time to actually like enforce the thing and get the thing you actually the last little bit he always fucks it up and pushes it like in this one yeah where he's asked oh i mean i'm not spoiling bullshit

when he's like uh uh you have to tell them you have to tell them you love me for me right she likes me for me. Oh, hey Leonardo. Not because I hang with Leonardo. Or I look like that guy in Fargo. I think his name was Steve. You guys, listen, all of our... I got him on a drag now.

All of our kids, all of our kid listeners. Yes. Look up that song. I forget who the band is. It's a near worm. Hey, okay, that's not the... I thought you were telling me the band name. I don't know the name. Hey, Leonardo. He likes me for me. You listen to those lyrics. It's amazing because it was like, world wherein no one knew who Steve Bussami was, which I can't, I can't imagine a world

no one knows who Steve Buccemi is. It is what Wishmaster believes, though, like, that's what he needs. Fuck it. Dude, this is a 90s banger, okay? Blessed Union of Souls, by the way. Your mom had sex to this song in the 90s. That's how you were born, probably. Yeah, that's why you're named Leonardo.

She dumped Nada surf for this. She's like, no, I don't need that no more. No, not popular anymore. That's too cynical. no I don't like that bang your fucking song it is it is I gotta give credit where credit is due if the Wishmaster

had put a little finesse on this had maybe waited a couple the next morning or like even a day give it to ask this question you could do it playfully there's so many ways to do it but he rushes it because he's like fuck I got they're on my ass about this

do you love me for me do you love me from her when you got co-workers breathing down your fucking neck because they need the TPS reports you rush through stuff and you make a mistake like this jing done you know first movie the third wish is like i want everything to go back as it was like sure she tricks him it's like i wish i never whatever and then like but is this whole notion of this prophecy and the army of jins coming back mentioned

it all in the other three i don't believe so we did an episode in the first two yes so go back and listen to that pause this go listen to that and you'll understand the lore i think for sure we are not ever talking to other wishmasters. This is the first movie I've seen another gin. When we're turning into a Hellraiser thing here where there's new designs of other wishmasters this movie actually passes the gin Bechdel test where two Jins can talk to each other. Now is it

called, is it like Moose where it's gin? That's what all that's the all. I think it's both, I don't think you say Jins. I think it's a bunch of gin. I think I think gin might be, yeah, I think it's like moose or dear yeah all right yeah um so anyway so we start we're pornography we're literally on having tits out full on fucking during opening titles and it's amazing because it's just you don't know who these people are it's just

a young attractive white couple no one is saying anything opening tittles i'll say that it's kind of a serious version of the cone heads kodochrome thing but with a new house and like these kids are coming into it You don't even know if they bought it or are they just like Randy I think we see that they bought it later in a flashback where he's taking down

the for sale sign. We see that at the front too but here's the thing. The dude picks it up like out of the ground and throws it they go in the shitty looking house. It looks like the crow's apartment. Oh, it's kind of nice. But it's in need of repair as my point. Well, of course they mean they're young kids.

You know, each other's brains out. And then they just leave, they get back on the motorcycle and drive away and I was like did they just like break into like the Myers house and fuck in it and leave like who are these people that's a fun thing to do which is an incredible thing that that scene happens we flash back to it a bunch like oh the good old days and like you learn nothing about these characters at one point he sketches her so like maybe he's an artist draw me like your french girls he fucking sculpts later like one of those things but you see him like pumping into her yes it's a soft core sexy on top little cheekers out. She gets pumping. You know the Steve Toblowski thing where it's like, oh, if your character name is, you know, if you've got a full name,

half a name, you know, your profession, blah, blah, that's that scale. Underneath all of that is if you get naked before you speak. Yep. Right. That's pretty tough. Yeah, that's not good. Which happened a lot to Stephen Tobolowski. I got to take it out again. All right. I mean, if you must

refer to me as the dong master, I'll take it. Oh, David, when I played the Dongmaster. I can't do that guy's fucking hugger on a horse. Oh, he's got to be. You think so? A tall fellow like that? He carries himself that way, for sure.

He might still have his phone number around. We interviewed him once back in the day. Let's just say this, man. That ain't as a lucky lady. Maybe if I find his phone number, I send a textie flirt. Because he doesn't know who we are. And then I try to lure out that hog. 1130 p.

on Halloween. What's the dick looking like there, Stephen? Oh, I would butter his biscuits. Oh, Eric, what's my dick looking like? Good question. What an excellent question. I want a treat, not a trip. Please.

Please show. Maybe even the little Dracula cape on it. Please show. Well, I've never taken a picture like this before, Eric, but I'll get an angle for you. He's a treasure. He is a treasure. And so is his penis. So, but, yeah, literally.

It's this girl from Time Memorium Obite the gin And just like this fake Eels song starts playing It's garbage Whatever this is, it's all garbage I do love them fucking so hard The bed breaks Always a classic move

I was surprised when she got naked And I was like, okay, that's what this is It let me know immediately what this was There's her boobers within It's under three minutes You're full on sexes No lines of dialogue None

Tate is first But I was also surprised That we did get a variety of Tatar It's almost all her, if I remember correctly. There's a stripper later. Yes, the stripper lady. They fuck. And then you just get three years later.

I learned you can't do three years later after nothing happens. Like you need at least like just something about them being like, here it is, babe, the dream house. Just and then fine. And then he fucks her brains out. You do need more of them living in this home situation or doing whatever being boyfriend, girlfriend versus like they fuck. Three years later, he's just in a wheelchair, almost unexplained. You see him in a motorcycle. It's not, it's three years later.

You see her go up to Michael Truco's house. Yep. And we're talking about Sam, who you have to infer as this other guy. You talk about the accident. Right. And then you see him in a wheelchair later on. But she pulls up to the house, it's right after the three years later. And I was like, okay, so they moved?

And I was like, wait, was Michael Truco that guy? No, okay, that was Sam. He is Steve. And his house, by the way. Oh, it's nice. But it's very. Capricacocoded. It is.

It's Caprica chic. I like that. What does that mean for people of not watch that show? It's the main planet of Battlestar Galactica before the fall. Yeah. So there's a lot of like flashbacks and stuff. Early 2000s like spacey kind of thing. So it just looks kind of.

But you get the wall of glass bricks and you're like, that's kind of the future. It's basically the Canadian housing market is the future of Battlestar Galactica. But I've never seen this before. And somebody else, you know me indoors. Yeah. You hate him. I hate him. He's got this situation.

This guy, this, guys, I know, I know where we're going here. It's got double doors, but quadruple doors. There's a, there's a door, and then you open it, and then there's a closed door, and then you open that, too. So it's like a foyer. But it's not even, there's a, there's a nether space. You know what it looks like? It's like when you have a hotel room that connects to another hotel room, and it's those doors.

That's what this dude has as a front door. You know what? You know, double up of the doors, you've got to be safe these days. I guess I've never seen anything like it was so bizarre. Like normally you would have like a swinging like screen door or a glass door or something like that. But you know what's really incredible is his television set. Oh, dude, this big ass flat, a big screen TV. It's like a 50 inch four by three.

One of those old ones where it's like it's not glass. It's like a plasticy kind of thing. Yeah, it's like a, it's like a I don't even know how to talk about the texture if you've ever felt one of these things. projector version it's a projector thing it wasn't like a tube television it was like a projector thing and then like creepy it would fucking like wear out so like your shit started getting like there's a bar

in Queens we went to that had one of these giant probably the exact same TV yeah at the end of the bar when all these old timers would try to kill themselves it was really depressing if you touch it it's hollow you know what I mean it's a weird like plastic screen yeah yeah it's fucked up and that's part of this whole style

thing like there's these decisions like that and like the shadows when we make the Wishmaster which are crazy like I'm just like what what are you, it's like watching Bo is afraid for a bit of it is a different kind

of reality of doing it's a movie that makes you just pause and be like okay so every so often you got to do that with this guy he is this is Stephen played by Michael Truco who is from Battlestar Galactica

that Eric and I know right what are you playing at Anders Samuel T. Anders who's kind of like the romantic court wrench between Starbuck and Apollo. Oh, they're going to get together.

Here comes handsome Samuel T. Anders. And then it goes on like that. He's sexier in that show? He's very sexy in that show. Yeah. Is he in it from the beginning? No, he comes in like halfway through. I think it's the thing where they like rescue him

from New Caprica? Yeah. No. Okay. I'm glad I got that wrong. He is part of the New Caprica storyline, but he's earlier on like they find some other planet and he's like a resistance leader.

And, like, you know, he's like, he's an ex-athlete turned resistance leader. And she's like, ooh, hot as fuck. Right, he used to play the ball game. Yes, pyramid. Wow, that. Wow, dude. To be fair, I've just gone through a... No, he didn't.

A second. Shut up. No, he didn't. No, I just, I went through a second half Battlestar Galactica rewatch and just skipped the first two seasons and went through the second half. Nice. Yeah. No, it's a good show. It holds up.

Yeah. Love it. Also, because they've told you nothing, the script is fucking terrible. Who else thought that Michael Truco was playing their divorce lawyer? Yes. Wouldn't that make sense? And it turns out you don't even know. They don't tell you until 30.

I paused it. 37 minutes into this movie. That's when you find out they're not even married. No, no. The only way you know what's actually going on is if you pause it when she's... And read the fucking lawyer report. To also find out they're in Michigan, I suppose. They're in Michigan?

Wow. Pure Michigan right here. I'm sorry, Tim Allen hit you on your motorcycle. You're not going to get anybody from that. Right. So that's what the lawsuit is. She's visiting him because

he's part of this lawsuit against the motorcycle. Something about the brakes that failed on his boat. So, okay, the guy that was pumping coming to her at the start is now disabled in a wheelchair because of a motorcycle accident

that we don't see. That we don't see. Then there's a lost suit that we don't see. That's also true. That is about somehow pertaining to the motorcycle accident, but we don't exactly know the specific sense of what that is. And he's doing it pro bono and you learn in this scene.

And pro boner. Yes. Well, he's pro bono because he is pro bono. They're like friends, but he also wants to be romantic with her. And he's moving in. And he's like, you know, he does this thing where it's like, I know you and Sam aren't getting along. So, you know.

I just got you this accurseded gem. Oh, dude. right as he tries to fucking kiss her. Oh, yes. No. And my asshole was like, closed for the week. She pulls back from that kiss. It falls on the ground.

The Jins Juel falls out of the box. But he does say he found it on one of his all-night web surfing jags. Yes. I guess so you got it at eBay. After jagging off all night. Well, that's what Sam does. He's on. Voyer vixen.

Boyer vixen. Okay. So Sam, so Sam, the guy that can't get an erection anymore. because he's disabled, apparently. That's part of his storyline. I'm not saying that that's what the movie says. No, the movie tells us his fucking dick don't work. Yeah, yeah, yes.

And, but he's just looking at pornography all the time and yelling at his girlfriend about why they don't fuck anymore. It's like, well, what do you think? I don't even, yelling is, I think, a misnomer. This guy is always on an even keel. Like, he's always like, oh. It's this like wet blanket, sad, sad, sad, what is me, whiny bullshit.

This is one of the most obnoxious characters that seem to movie a while. He never gets like, you never, it's always like mopeiness. Like, he's a self, like, oh, self-pity. Find yourself a drinking problem, pop some oxy. He does have a drinking problem, thankfully. That is happening. Right, but he didn't sell me a lot. Not deep enough.

And also, guess what you should do? When you're not drinking alcohol, eat fucking pussy, dude. That's the answer to your problem. I was like, your fucking hands broke. Exactly. You fucking mouth broke. I see, I see your tongue working perfectly fine, my friend. Well, that's not really fair.

It's not really fair that I do all to work And I don't get anything It's not fair that your mopee ass gets to eat it Why don't you just chew it like bubblegum for a little bit? Exactly But so Stephen, yes Steven's like oh you know Hollister Who's the guy on the other end of the lawsuit

Doesn't look if they're going to settle But you know I'm thinking about different plans By the way I got you this crazy It looks like a birdhouse I don't know what is this script like Oh God I need to do names for this thing Let me look around the mall Hollister and then he takes

a call from American Eagle and, oh, John Old Davies on the phone He really needs the talk to You listen to me, Mr. FYE. Yes, hi, this is Stephen from the law office This is Abercrombie and Fitch This is

Yep, no, we hear it too. My ex-girlfriend, J.C. Penny. Hold on, Sephora's busting my balls over here. Johnny Sephora. Johnny Sephora. That guy's kind of cool. Oh, I love Johnny Zafar a good hang, but he's like done some questionable shit.

Exactly. You're like, oh, Johnny Sifaro. He's always wearing sunglasses inside. It's like, come on, dude. Ladies, what would you like to smell like? Yeah. Yeah. Anton Pandora, another guy in this universe.

That guy's great too. Love that guy. A lot of charms. Charming guy, honestly. Richie Regal. But he's like, so they're not going to settle, but here I got you this, this thing. It looks like a birdhouse. I don't know what it is. It's smaller than a birdhouse.

I thought it was like a like a jewelry box. That's what I thought. Which like what a fucking stupid. Like you need this to be a thing where like this guy has already like, like he's developed a dangerous crush on this woman Lisa. Seems so. And he's like, you know, Lisa, you're tearing me apart. What can I possibly do?

And like you, we need to see him like know that this gin ruby is the gym. Like he's going to set her up or something like that. Or like me like this is worth so much. money. It's from the age of antiquity or whatever. Because we've already done that scene, right? I don't think they I mean, it would be nice to do it again, but like I'm going to go get this appraised

and like the first one they do that. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here she just drops. Like he lends in the kisser, she drops it and she picks up the Jewel, which is rubbing the genie's lamp, as we understand. Yes. And I love, he's like, she tries to give it back to him and he

says something and she goes, I just don't want it. Which is really funny. And then like, She's going to leave. I'm like, okay, you have disastrously tried to kiss your client. Yes. This fucking gift fell on the floor. This whole thing. He goes, well, you're not leaving, are you?

I was like, yeah, dude, she's going home. Because he also does this like sad sack horse shit, which doesn't play. Because, again, dude's like six foot five, really handsome. He's incredibly handsome. And he's just like, oh, yeah. She's like, you're a really nice guy. He's like, yeah, nice guy you want to introduce your homely friend to. I'm like, no, dude.

You can't, you will go slam the finest fucking piece on the. the town, Michael Trico. Don't worry about it. The sad sex, that never works. I mean, she's got to be 10 times more pathetic than you for that to work. Also, dude, you did get the confirmation of what you're looking for. She says, yeah, I have thought about it. Yeah. So it has happened.

So just calm down. Pull it back a little bit here, fella. Wait for the wheels of that relationship to fully fall off. They're wobbling. Is that a pun because of the wheelchair guy? No, it is not. I wouldn't have said that. Honestly, if he had not done any of this, it might have

worked out in his favor. Exactly. If he had not stayed up all night and on fucking Timu and bought this goddamn jewel. Let's not get too precious that guy walks again. He'll regain them.

Don't worry. It's just a temporary. But yeah, so he, she, she leaves. He puts the Jewel in like the safe and it starts to melt or something. It does, which is great.

He has to open. Awkwardly, after you try to kiss your client slash friend, you now have to open no fewer than two doors to let her out of the house. Well, that's no way, It's a little of the trickle there.

You've got to get the other. Two doors to keep her in, maybe. He's like, oh, I'll get that for you. It's like, yeah, because no one could figure out how to get out of your house. No, I'm sorry. It is two different keys. I have to hold on here with this one. You've got to pull it in and sort of jig a little.

One is a latch and one is a round door knob. I understand. This might be, it just gets cold in Canada. You know, you need two doors. It could be an insulation thing for sure. I'm sure there's going to be Canadians writing. Well, I've 15 doors. Yeah, the Canadian double door system.

Yes. Whenever we talk about anything, internationally very you know we get a hot soup yeah we get in hot suit I got to tell you here's the thing if you got a door where like you have to give someone instruction it's like how to open a door you got to replace that door

my parents have had this fucking door the front door of their house for years you cannot open this thing really you're fucking pushing and pulling my mother comes out oh you just got to do this this and that I'm like no no no no no hip checking should not be involved get a new door

Andrew stop I have the bacon grease I'll be able to do it here to get this thing warmed up. All you have to do is, do Allah, give me the power! And then you open it. Your parents might want to keep some leases and signs. I told it, I was like, I will buy you guys a new door. I swear to you. I was like, pick out whatever door you want.

I will buy it for you because I cannot enter your home. Go down to the door barn and buy a new door. Ironically, though, we do not sell doors for barns. We're a barn for a door. doors, sir, not a door barn. Sure, we are a barn for house doors, not barn doors. Oversized doors. What was this called to get this business?

Barn door. Door barn. Door barn. You got to go to the other version for the real barn door. Yeah, exactly. Barn door has the barn doors, door barn has the doors. And the dress barn is down the street. But she goes home with a pizza. Hell yeah, dude.

This lucky so-and-so, I mean, honestly, she comes back with this fucking beautiful pizza. After talking with your lawyer, the most annoying part of this, I imagine. She's trying to get you a giant cash-up. You should be kissing her feet for what she's doing. She's bringing you pizza. She's taking care of your legal problems. Dude, it's like this guy fucking sucks. I hate his guts.

It's been three years. If it's been six months, you know, you give some grace period. You can't be doing the third act of Tennessee Williams play for the rest of your fucking life. No. And at this point, I feel like that relationship would have disintegrated. at this point, because she's not going to take this shit. It's clearly she is keeping this thing alive. He is asking

he is begging for her from the very beginning to fucking break up with him even as she fucking walks in on him in this moment while he's smacking his balls to voyeur vixions or whatever the fuck the thing is. Yes, voyeur vixions, which seems like a great 2002 website to me.

What a night this guy's having, right? His lady friend brings him home a nice piping hot pizza. He's just casually sitting at the kitchen table watching pornography, or I should say just looking at nudie pictures. Yeah, man. Just drinking, I think, straight out of a

fucking liquor bottle. I think tequila too, man. Is it tequila? Because she's like, what it's for, I got pizza for dinner, she's like, no, this is for dinner. I thought that was breakfast. You've been drinking all day and I've worked and I just came back from the lawyer's office and I got you pizza.

And I just kind of want to watch fucking, I don't even know what to. I want to watch Melrose Place, I guess, in 2002. A little too, a little What was going on? The Westway. I want to see the, uh, I want to watch the 9-11 memoriam the year later. One year anniversary. Yeah. A star studded event.

Remember that when they were just like, let's replay the tragedy in real time. Oh, dude. I remember that. Right? Because like it was the start of the 24-hour news cycle. Children, pull up your bean bags. But yeah, they would just play the day's news of 9-11 in full so you could relive the experience for years and years and years to ensure that George W. Bush stays in power. Yeah, like it's fucking Alice's restaurant

for fucking Thanksgiving, you know? And it is not. Now here's Billy Crystal to talk about the second tower. Oh, 9-11, TNT's playing elf for some reason. Oh, it's Billy Crystal as the Jazz Man character to tell us about World Trade Center.

You say Elf, just imagine, makes you remember the part. Because they always do that when they're like, oh, elf all day, and it's Will Ferrell in, I think in the Empire Stage building, running around the revolving door, that would kind of work, actually. Yeah, the 9-11. Yeah, you're running in and out of a building.

Great place to put a plane. But so he's, and it's just, he's just a shithead. He's just a shit head. And he fucking says, he's making shit right here too, because she says something about. You're a fucking here. Well, yeah, because he's like, she says like something, something compensation.

And he's like, oh, I bet he's getting compensated, you fucking whore. Yeah. I mean, like, dude, she brought you a pizza. He's a hot lawyer, I get it. You know what I mean? You are probably suspicious, but you got to raiding that shit in. Shut the fuck up.

If that is the case, hire an ugly lawyer. If you really are going to be like this, fucking get an egg lawyer. Hello, yes, welcome to a uggo, uggo and horse face. How can we help you? Well, most of them are really disturbingly ugly. My God, these lawyers. So you would have to go out of your way to find the handsome one. So maybe you wanted your wife to get fucked here.

buddy maybe that's what was really happening here and maybe that's the next step of your relationship maybe you're the guy in the corner now and that's that's totally fine it's an honorable position in this time so stephen michael truco's character left uh back home meets the gin i got to tell you i don't appreciate all this gin and silhouette shit at the start of this like it's the fourth movie i know what he looks this scene is so bizarre because he's in the closet yes and like and that is shrouded in shadow and then when you cut to Truco, he is also completely in shadow.

Yeah. Well, you don't know who's talking to who. What is going on here? It's like a Faustian bargain. It's artistic. But he realizes something's a miss because his light switches don't work and he says, God damn it. The Jinn's like, not quite. Yes. Not quite. Oh, right. And then he says something right after

like, what the hell is this or something? And the Jinn's like, that's a little close. I'm here to off you a deal. Your soul for a wish. Okay, then no. Yeah, no. If you're confirming souls are real, which I don't are and also he's like then no if he says yourself for a wish and you know he's got a devilish voice

don't be like I wish you would stop talking don't ever say wish to this guy yeah this you know happens with every time we talk about a wishmaster movie there's two words and they're both used in this movie quite a bit sure that I am just fucking creeped out to no end when adults

say repeatedly and they are fucking angels and wish like make a wish here's an angel like an adult will just instantly become infantilized using both of those words Facebook's full of that stuff oh man oh yeah

all the angels are around him the angels are helping Trump and I wish you know or pray that they keep the gin away because if you're gonna fear something yes fear the gin that's true a pray a day keeps the gin away that's what I heard you know they say like don't take any like new god you know like a false idol don't worship anything

is taking like a false idol for Satan bad Can I just say, well, you know, I don't really care about Satan or the devil. The jins, though, I'm really afraid of, would that get you in hot soup? Yes, it would absolutely would. Oh, my God. You got to do just the big guy. I am the one God. There will be no other gods before me.

And then the devil. Well, the devil depends. Well, these rules apply to if you're worshipping like the Christian God, which is, we know. How much exactly were you looking to learn about this? Because I've got some YouTube, quote, documentaries. I know the MythBusters disproved God earlier, so I shouldn't be even talking about it. I mean, the problem here is, as soon as the Wishmaster shows up, this Wishmaster specifically, I am, he's got my soul immediately because I'm going to be saying, I wish Andrew Divoff was here.

Yeah, sorry, actually, that's the one wish I can't grant. I know it sounds kind of weird to say, but I cannot bring this B-movie actor into this world. That's how you defeat him there, Truco. If you really, well, not, not Truco, Elisa. Yes. But Truco tries to defeat him through shooting him here. There's so much shooting of the gym in this movie is very funny.

And like, well, the way it's the thing, remind me of the first two movies of him, Greg. It's not Andrew Divoff in the suit, but is Divoff always doing the voice. Is he not in the suit? I thought he wasn't in the suit. Maybe he's not. Yes. I'll look it up. Look it up while I say to Chris that like,

wow, this is set in Michigan, all these gunshots going off everywhere. Quite a lot of guns. Do you think a militia, one of those militia boys could run off a gin? No, they're not. Oh, no, because they mean, they're wishing shit all the time, those boys. Oh, right. I wish I had a bigger gun. I wish I had more syntax. I wish I had a little gun on top of my bigger gun. I want an AK-47 and an AK-44. Divoff credited as the gin slash Nathaniel Demerist, at least in the first movie. Got it. Maybe I'm wrong. So I'm looking to see if there's.

There's like, if there's a dude just credited as the gin, yeah. Because I feel like Divoff is not big enough to get out of wearing prosthetics, right? Because he's just. Well, that's the question. Then just put Michael Truco in the suit. You make him the gin. It's live. But now we got, okay, so the gin defeats Truco, rips his face off.

Pretty good face rip by the way. It's not bad, right? And then he puts it on his own. And then you get a scene where he's like, ah, ooh, ha. Now I'm Trucoe, hey, Lisa. Yeah. Which is, you know, he's, he's, I. like that once Truco

becomes the gym like Truco at least is a good enough factor where like he changes what this evil face you know right funniest thing is the he takes the face off he peels makes a circle around thing takes off like the fucking movie uh

but when he puts it on it's like he put on the mask yes like he does this big glowy thing all around somebody stop me smoking I put Michael Truco's face on that Jack Russell Terrier know. Boys, it's time for an overhaul. Oh, man.

Wow, way to go. I'm looking at part two now. Yeah, sorry. Part two, here we go. Well, no, because part two, he's just credited as the name. Uh-huh. But it doesn't say slash the gin. Yeah.

But is there another gin guy? There's not a gin credit anywhere. So I don't know. This is something. I don't know. I mean, Andrew Devoff, you're not doing anything. If you're listening right in, let us know. we all are moving

there should be a Wishmaster 5 and Andrew Devonov should be he should never left well it's true well I mean if they fucking redid the goddamn leprecon series

how have you not redone this yet I know well I think it's because no one gives a shit also people give this shit about the leprecha more than the gin this is probably insensitive

in some way right like what is the religious aspects of this gin do we want to get into this you got something oh I just wanted to show you guys You know, it's like, this was more in the era of, I think, like, standard deaf DVDs had these. Definitely Blu-rays also.

I haven't seen any 4Ks of this kind of shit yet. Certainly not. But the whole, like, we're just packaging a bunch of movies onto a thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. This one, which is, the cover art is listed in the photo section of Wishmaster 2. It's a four film collection featuring Wishmaster, Wishmaster 2, Leprocon, and Pumpkinhead 2.

That's sick. It is just a real. What can we fucking license and throw on a disc to people? Unbelievable. But not a bad bargain. Yeah, for nine bucks or even five probably. Yeah, some decent movies in there. Lisa is now the waker and he needs to get his three wishes from her.

Because she woke in the gin, blah, blah, blah. We immediately cut you after he takes his face off to her tits. Yes, yet again. Yes, she's taking a shower. It's been eight minutes. Let's get her naked again. Let's get her tits out again. And she's in the shower and the, you know, same.

Sam, wheels in and he's like, meh, damn. He's like kind of watching at this point. I was like see, dude, like this, like get into this kind of shit. Oh, yeah, I couldn't help notice you were showering there. Oh, let me get in there. Yeah, but she's surprised. She's startled because she didn't realize he was watching and then he's like

yeah, yeah, of course. Because, yeah, like she gets out of the shower. The place where you are most vulnerable, you're fucking naked and there's a curtain cutting you up from the rest of the world. You open that and there's anyone standing there. There's going to be a jump. But he takes it as, oh, yeah, you think I'm just a disgusting loser. Well, then she goes out of her way to appease him by trying to flash him some lingerie right after this. In the morning, some lingerie mornings.

Laundere morning. But lo and behold, there's a doorbell ring and who is it? But Michael Trucco as the wishmaster. They're about to, like, get it on. And, like, the doorbell totally cock-blocks him. And, like, everything falls to shit or whatever. And fucking Stephen comes in. The gin comes in.

And he's like, oh, am I interrupting something? And this dude's just like, no. No. I want to take you all to breakfast because I've got a brand new. I'm going to, I figured out how to win the case is the idea. Now here's a thing that's stupid that happens right here, and you've got to do something with this. I know. I know he's not going to say.

He goes to leave the kitchen with them and he takes a bite of this apple and throws it back in the bowl. I need that apple to like instantly rot or there's like worms coming up because like a pair of paranormal force has touched this thing. Otherwise, it's just fucking pointless. And it's just kind of gross. And he's a gin, so it doesn't need to eat, so what are we doing? I mean, the gin is kind of gross. He is kind of gross. He likes doing gross shit like this. Right.

So I get it, I guess. But like, yeah, you're right. We should get something at least. But then we go to Michael Trugo's office. Oh, there's a new development in the lawsuit. Dude, because he goes, oh, you know what? On second thought, why don't we have this meeting in some neutral territory? I was like, yeah, you've got to stop taking this girl out of his fake

dates. It's the best non-sequitur because basically Sam doesn't want to go. I'm not going to go. You guys enjoy your date. And then she's, then he's like, you know what? Actually, he's right. I'll take you to my office instead. I've got a great way to win the case. Cut to the office and they're just talking, sitting down. He's like, you know, Calicula is actually probably the most misunderstood man in Rome. Sure. Yeah. He was a passionate man with taste and beauty for the extravagance or whatever. She's just like, yeah, who is that? It sounds like you knew him. Maybe I did. Maybe I did. in a other life. Yeah, that's an instance of him like, oh, fuck. Yeah, maybe in another life I knew. Yeah, I definitely wasn't hanging out with that. I come back 3,000 years later. Everyone's taking shits on Caligula. I'm like, dude, he was just a cool by dude

that likes to have a party. God, give us a budget for a Wishmaster prequel. Oh, Wishmaster X Caligula? Yes. Oh, well, you kind of have something like that at the start of the second movie, right? The second one is the fucking ridiculous orgy scene that happens. I love that scene of the skeletons are popping out of the bodies.

Yeah, it's amazing. But think about that, it's like, oh, yeah, what would you wish for Nero? Oh, Rome to burn? And there was your second wish? Oh, well, I can teach you the violin. Number three, shit on your chest. The prophecy is fulfilled. Rome has fallen.

As this Duke dumps on your chest, the fucking gin army will rise. I mean, you know, Lisa, there are some elites, some very, very smart people who enjoy being shot on. You know, it's no, it's no smoke on that. Have you heard of Sylvester Stallone? I guess that's the thing is he's like, oh, fuck, I have to make small talk with Lisa. Oh, you know, Gallegela wasn't a bad guy. What's that? Nothing.

I mean, that Seinfeld finale was pretty terrible, right? Yeah, that was like four years ago. Oh, I know. But I've been encased in a jewel since the Seinfeld finale. I mean, I was living overseas for a while. No, I mean, it's just so frustrating. I mean, it just cuts the black. They're in the restaurant together.

And then they just cuts the black out of no. You don't even know if someone's coming to get them. You're just, you're lost. They're fucking lost. They had me trying to make a wish. But so he's like, I know how to win your case. And she's like, how? he's like, well, do you wish

for me to win? You know what I mean? He's got to do do the thing. He's like, I do have an idea but he should be going out, sit down and just wish for it. Go after make a wish kids. Yes. That's a, well, no, they have to run up to Jewel first. That's the problem. Well, kids love shiny stuff. I feel like if you're doing that, the first

wish every time is going to be, I wish I didn't have this horrible disease. Right. This horrible childhood disease that proves God doesn't exist because why would God give a kid cancer? Think about that for a while. And then they're better. And then it's like, oh, you got two more.

Oh, the roller coaster. And then, oh, yeah. And then you eventually get the Jin Army to come back to life. I mean, the thing with the Wishmaster, when you do the remake here, it's so easy for him. Because, like, all he has to do is be like, well, you know, there's a new thing called manifesting. Yes. So if you just say, I wish something out loud, it really does help you. Like, and he just, he will be bathing in it.

He kind of starts. every fucking guy. He says that here a little bit. He's like, you know, the power of the spoken word is quite awesome. That's something like that. Because that's how you, like, that's the only back door you have into getting a grown adult to make a wish in front of you. Yes.

I think she's like, yeah, I just, I do wish this was all over and we won the case. Or just hang out in front of a fountain. So he calls Hollister. Oh my God. He's Doug Hollister. This is great. And Hollister is a is a dude in a law office who apparently, uh, I don't

maybe the cartel is there I don't know why he has quite so many weapons near him at the time well the gin manifests the gun oh the gin does manifest the the knife he has right I think the gin manifests there was a letter opener or something

so first again though Michigan that's true so he's just like Hollister you know I just want to let you know that we're ready to settle and he's like settle ha ha ha ha I'm Hollister yeah and it's a weird he's like well why don't you take a look at what's front of you and like the agreement like appears out of nowhere and it's like

ten million dollars and this guy's like we're a big fucking motorcycle company we're not going to give anything to you why don't you hold your tongue why would I even bring this up to my partner Mrs. Aropostale so he rips his own tongue out and then he starts cutting his own face open and at this point don't cut off your nose to spite your face right and he cuts his nose he doesn't cat cut your tongue or hold your tongue he does that But while this is happening, from the tongue on, there are these two co-workers who are like, banging on his classic, no, Hollister, don't cut your,

oh, no, don't stab here, oh, no. It's so bad. And, like, no one thinks to, like, maybe go get a cop or a fucking... Why is the door locked? But then the Jid says, you know, sign the agreement and fax it over, and then we could put this whole painful exchange behind us. Yes, but it's one, two, four, four, four, one, two, four, four, son of a bitch, one, two, four, four, three.

Our policy is to have a cover letter, of course, on top of this. Yes, excellent job, but you're going to have to fax it again. You fax it upside down. I just got a bunch of white papers here. Dude, also, like, this dude is, like, covered in blood faxing these legal forms. I was like, I, you know, I'm no, you know, man of the law or anything, but I'm pretty sure official documents are kind of tarnished once covered in blood. It's coffee. It's coffee.

But it's just like amazing. Nobody gets any phone calls about, yeah, Hollister blew his brains out. Like what they did cut his fucking face open. He faxes it. And then the gin manifests a gun and then he shoots himself in the head. And there's a splatter of blood on the fax machine that's faxing this stuff. Yep. And then Lisa's like, am I supposed to believe you even on the phone with anyone?

Why don't you check? Look at this. A fax is coming in. Look at my blood covered fax that's coming through. Oh, no. Those were a bit. I'm sorry. I should change the ink.

There's just little blotches. And because one lawyer signed it, it means you get $10 million. That's it. That's how it works. That's how it works. But we never actually see the money come anywhere, right? No, you never even see her have money, get rich. What are we going to do with our $10 million? Well, I mean, to be fair, though, Sam does get resentful about the money. Well, because here's the thing.

What doesn't he get resentful? It's true. That's true. But even still, this is Stephen slash the Witchmaster's fault. He's like, you know what? Guess what else I'll do for you? I'm not taking a fee. No, you have to take a fee

because it's weird if you don't. Even to be like 5%, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not trying to get rich. I want you guys to have a great life. 5%'s all I do. Not the full 20 or whatever I was going to get. In fact, I'm not even going to take that, but let's all go out to celebrate at the palace.

This restaurant called the palace at 8 o'clock. And I mean, if somebody gives you, I mean, also, because when you don't take a fee, it's like, well, I guess I have stuck a cock. So that's what you, that's $10 million bucks. That's what he wanted. Yeah. I mean, that's what Truco.

wanted before the gin took over right he wanted his dick sucked by this lady so she goes home she's like guess what we got we won 10 million dollars and he's like yeah what you have to do to get that you bitch and I'm like you fucking asshole because he says something about and this is where I thought again

they were still fucking married because he's like so yeah you you get like we'll figure out how to divvy that up or whatever and she's like what and he's like well yeah clearly you only stayed with me to get the settlement and I was like well okay but later on we learn you're not married so she's entitled to anything

if you're not married. That's true. Shut up. A whiny bitch. If I was Lisa, I would be running breathlessly to suck any other cock. Any other cock will do. I just get it in front of me now. Like this is fucking terrible. Like also, okay.

So, but Sam, I understand, man, you've had a fucking rough run of it. Sure. Do you... Ten million dollars, and your response to that is what did you have to do that? You think there is something. Lisa can do sexually that is worth $10 million

are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah, did she perform that when you guys were having sex, the $10 million move? What could it possibly be? There is no it just eating Ted Turner's ass. If it resurrected 10 Turner was then 30. An in gin ex proposal? Oh, I see where you're going. I have to

figure out of... In Jinsent proposal. There it is. That sucks. I'll give you $10 million to sleep with your wife. Indecent gin posal. Yeah. There you go. Sure.

Yeah. Well, we'll figure it out. We're going to workshop that later. Yeah, we'll swing back around. When he invites them to dinner. Yes. I just wanted to point this out because it's very funny. It's, we're going back and forth between Michael Trucoe and the dude in the gin costume.

I love the shot of the gin using a cordless phone. It's like he's just a big. and he's got this little cordless phone to invite them to dinner. It's quite chunky. We're doing, we are doing the Andrew Dibov Jim voice, which is more like this. But this guy's a little more British, actually. Oh, yes. I don't know.

It totally sucks. Yes, that's right. Fuck him. I'm not saying that we should do it. I want to be clear, you wish the gin sounded like we do. Yeah, there goes my soul. Oh, yes, we go to the palace where it's just Lisa. Sam doesn't go, right?

It's a Middle Eastern restaurant. there is a belly dancer and they're like oh you know he's like I took the delivery of all for ordering a wine and the belly dancer comes and this random couple full on make it out right here is where like the big wish happens she's like again

lady red flagged this dude is telling you for the second time in a day to make a wish there's something afoot and she's like yeah I do wish that Sam could walk and then like it's this weird thing that has never explain never because usually the jins wishes as we know have like a you know of a monkey's

pause something's gonna bite you in the ass on the other end of the wish but no he just he walks but for the first couple days it hurts a lot and then it stops hurting and he's fine and later like toward the end of the movie the jinn's like oh yes and i could make the pain come back and i was like when did you make it go away yeah like what what is any of that uh but but even the response to that is just so like I guess I can. Yes. I guess I get to walk. And then his big thing after he gets his legs

back is, I'm going to the strip club that I can, I only have to pay a dollar a dance. Wow, that is cheap. Dude, by the way, at the restaurant when the couple's making it and that waitress comes up to their table, like gives them something and like the whole fucking dining room is looking at this

you know, PDA on display here. And she goes, boy, I wish someone would kiss me like that. Oh, that'll never happen or something. and he's like, granted. Oh, really? Yeah, he throws in a quick granted. Like, as you want, granted. And then, like, everyone in the restaurant starts kissing this woman.

Oh, you like kisses, do you? How to have all the kisses you like. But that's the weird thing is, like, you need, that needs to kill her somehow. Like, yes, she's getting kissed. But, like, and, like, it's kind of hilarious. It's so chicken shit. Like, all the dudes make out of all the women kiss her on the cheek, which is, like, stupid. Yeah, fuck you already a pseudo-softcore porn movie.

Exactly. Let's get them ladies kissing. Exactly. But yeah, there's something, something like, she just kind of goes off camera. Like, no, in all the other wishmester movies, he calls, remember that guy? He causes the plane crash, which is fucking hilarious. Oh, yes. It's like, oh, I wish I had a lot more money. And then it's like, his aunt just like, I want one. Get me some of her beauty please.

That's right. It explodes. I forgot about it. That's what I need this entire movie. Every single one needs to be a fatal, hilarious. It sounds like someone. wants to get rid of the wonderful lore we get into about the waker and the hunter. The hunter.

And his three, like, Casper's uncles, these fucking three guys that show up in the fire. Right. So there's other gens that are, like, coming through the temporal plane be like, hurry up, I want to get back to Earth. I'm farty. I'm shanky. Hi. And they look like shit and they're goopy and weird. It's so stupid.

Just like reasonable design. Because there had to be money behind these. They're like prosthetics, you know, that they cost something. They did. Yeah, they did cost a little bit too big. You know what I realized they look like? What's that? Goolies.

Oh, yes. Which are not to be confused with critters. No. But goolies where like the gooly looks like a little monster baby. Yes. These look like if the goooly grew up and it was just this fucking disgusting dripping thing. Also not Spookies. Yeah.

Spookies is another difference. And so not the boogins either. The bookings are in the munchies, of course. The spookies aren't even little guys, right? They're just like, like dudes. That's the one with the shit. There's the farting monster in that one, I believe. Isn't that the anthology movie?

But it starts with the big farting monster. I don't remember. We're going to have to go back and watch all those. Is that the movie where there's a segment where like donkey lips is in it? Am I thinking of the right movie? That sounds right. Spookies? It doesn't sound right today.

I'll be honest. The thing that always stuck me is that it was, me, I think Steve and maybe Eric were watching it and the opening of it is just these three kids and like a ghost shows up and it's just farting and it's just these big

monster just that's amazing. Someone out there you must have seen this movie, you're all horror somebody knows what it is. We can't all figure that. We're not going to figure this out in real time. No, no, no. They got the research lab out.

But I'm just really curious only because if it's the movie I'm thinking of it's something that no it's like a Dracula face on the cover it's not I'm thinking of a movie it's donkey lips the guy who I think it's the guy oh who the fuck is this guy oh yeah

the dude um who plays the little vampire in near dark that guy the fucking oh yeah yeah yeah so it's him Sean asked and donkey lips is involved in a fashion it's a movie called the Willie oh the Willie yes well you want the career after

salute your show What's do you? Well, then go on to be in the willies. And dude, where's my car? So the hunter, this guy, right? So she wishes for his legs to come back. She comes, yeah, he's screaming. She comes back.

She comes back. Oh, my God, this is miraculous. You could walk again. We need to get you back to a doctor. It seems like, I'm going to a strip club where it only costs a dollar a dance. And I'm like, you fucking. Is that like a veterans benefit? What is that exactly?

Is this when we finally introduced her job as a lingerie sales lady? Yes, she's got this boutique. The only thing I do want to mention about when they get home, because it's another funny, like this guy, like this gin is so stupid. Truco comes in, it's like, Hey, Lisa, you forgot your dessert. Like, dude, who's taking dessert home?

Well, I just like, oh, you know, if I leave, Now, Lisa won't have that dessert. She really did enjoy the tartlet. I should go back at the house. Right? Is this weird? This is going to go off as well. I think I kind of like her.

Oh, no. I think I have a crush on Lisa. You know, a lot of the whipped cream is on the top now because they closed it and it was a little too firmly. So you're going to have to wipe it and put it on, I think, afterwards. Oh, Ginzy, Ginzy, Ginzy. The last time you fell in love with a victim like this was, oh, I don't know. The most inexplicable thing, then I swear we can leave this scene.

But when he is getting his leg, his walking ability is back, they express this in Truco cutting into his chicken. Okay. And like eating his chicken. I'm like, are you eating the leg to give it back to him? Yeah. That's weird. What the fuck is this?

Well, he starts the whole thing. He's like, granted. and then he does he starts rubbing his finger around the top of a wine glass like he's going to do a fucking talent show thing on Carson or something but to be cut to her she owns the boutique with her friend Tracy

Tracy who's like her horny slash clairvoyant friend yes who hornvoyant some may say all right who's like she's crazy well no she's like oh he got he got his ability to walk again because Mercury's in retro what's the ETE she asks and he's she's like what's an ETE estimated time

do erection. Because she's like, she's like, so of you guys fucked yet and she's like, no. And she,

because she's like spiritual or whatever. So she's like, oh, I'll do a, I'll do your card reading. Yes. I'll do taro and get you

the ETE estimated time of erection. Everybody is underreacting to this fucker miraculously coming back to walk. It's been two years. It's like, oh my, oh my God, you can walk again.

You're fucking now, right? You fucked immediately after it. happen, right? There is no, I don't mean, because like, this dude is like, does God exist? Did he, you know what I mean? Like, well, because this dude's all like, well, what's the point? Because she's like, this is amazing. We got to get you to a doctor and why everything hurts. God, I hate this character. He's the worst. He's awful. He's bubble gum under a desk this fucking guy. Then doesn't Truger go to this boutique himself? Yes, he does. Yeah, because

Tracy's got a line. You better be careful, Lisa. And aura that's strong is capable of anything, which it's kind of crazy because, like, I guess is this the movie confirming that Tracy does kind of have sort of some sort of powers? Because, like, she's seeing the gin for what he is. Well, I mean, it proves he has no powers.

If she can't spot a fucking gin, I'm sorry. Or no, or it just means big dick energy, I think, is the idea. She just immediately makes a wish with them, too, right? Like, I wish I was having killer stuff. Oh, no, that's a little later. That's a little later. She basically, we now know that that's going. going on.

Truka comes back and he's just sort of like, oh, you know, I wanted to, what is, he just wants to be friends with her, basically. Now he's just fucking hanging around. I'm like, shit, I have no reason to talk to her. See, I see why I skipped that part of my notes. Because this is like, she comes to my house for a drinker. Well, yeah, because she comes home. Yeah.

And he's, again, what a shock. Sam is moping around or whatever. And she's like, I didn't fucking, you know, fall in love with your legs. I fell in love with you. You know, he's like, you fucking pitied me. And she's like, no, you pitied yourself. Very correct. Absolutely.

So then this is when he's like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to go where I can get a dollar a day and see you later. So then she in turn goes to Stephen's house. And this is where this is the dumbest. One of the dumbest things a gin has said in any of these movies, he's just like, prayer is a confirmation of faith. A wish is a manifestation of desire.

Sure. Whatever new age you're into, pal. While we are... Do you think it would be like more helpful if I started saying wish to Jesus? I wish there was world peace and I don't pray for it.

Oh, so or not. But I wish it. Yeah. Granted. Oh, now the world is in pieces like you wish. God is Alex Trebek. If you could just reword it the right way. That's actually the incorrect way.

Yeah, I got to tell you something. Speaking of Jeopardy, I saw a Jeopardy clip from I guess it was like last night or two nights ago or something. Talking heads had a category. and the four of them recorded themselves saying the answers, like that kind of a deal. Were they strangling each other? No, everybody seemed totally cool.

And, you know, each one of these appearances is one step closer to the playing a show. So I'm fine with it. But it was very funny because they're like, stop making sense. It was directed by this Academy Award winning director. And the person that answered the question just goes, um, dem. Oh. And they fucking gave it to that. are you doing? What are you showing

me in, Jefferny? I couldn't believe it. I was like, damn. What the fuck you? Yeah, was it De-Dem? Who did that one? I don't know. Can't remember. But so she's Barton Scorsese. She's drinking wine. She goes, ooh, this went right to my head. She's like, I want to get a glass

water. I'll get it for you. But as he gets up, and she goes, she's a little tipsy here, and Stevens, you know, laying on the Stephen action. And I guess he's got the gin Kevorka. She's like, oh, I just wish I could love you. for who you are. And that's, oh, wait, that's a good wish, but not a great wish.

She loves me for me. And this is when the other gin shows, I'm like, now take it. And it's like, what? That's the wish, man. You have to do it. She has to love you for you. Not because you're friends with Leonardo, but because you're a handsome gin monster. And he's like, well, actually, she won't love me for me because I'm literally a monster inside.

But it's the one wish I can't grant. She has to grant. He's like, well, I guess they should be, what if there was a romantic montage, something if you're trying on shirts? I don't know, what works in movies? I wish my father was still alive. He used to know stuff like this.

I just wish I could talk to him about because this is tough stuff. Do you think the Andrew Divoff gin is this gin's father? That would make sense. That'd be awesome. Flashbacks of them raising. You know what?

And we've gotten better. He used to kill everybody who made a wish, like every single fucking person. But the gin is like, listen, give me some time. I will get her to love me. You better work quickly because the hunter has

been awakened. And then they showed this dude, this fucking calendar model guy. Oh, man. Fucking fake Fabio. A statue turns into it. It's like act razor, that old video game. And he becomes a person. And he's got this giant sword.

And he's on the hunt for, I guess, the waker. He wants to kill the waker. So that the third wish is not for filled because then the Jins would take over the earth question mark. And Truco is getting flashes of the hunter before he appears like it's all these historical

statues. He has a history headache that he just puts his hand on his head and then eventually the worst lightning, the worst CGI lightning you've ever seen creates it's real bad. The hunter with his long sword. And then he goes I will kill the hunter with his own sword

and I'm like, what movie am I watching anymore? You are watching. Here's what happen. Someone was tidily tapping, writing the screenplay for Wishmaster 4. It was laid into the night. Tons of Diet Coke at this point going through right in the script. Really got to bang it out. They want to film three and four back to back. I got to get this done.

Uh-oh. Highlander playing on the TV in the background. It was so late, they were so brain fucked. They didn't even know. They were just like, blah, blah, blah. And by the time it was done, and before anyone realized, they were like, well, we can't go back. Now, here's the thing, though. You got to count out all those parts where they go there can only be one. Because we will get so fucking sued

Wishmaster production. And you have to You have to control F. Kurgan for Hunter. And then you're good. There can only be three wishes, I mean. There can only be two deaths, I guess. So now the Wishmaster's got, like, he's got a little low. It's kind of a rom-com the rest of the movie. He has to, and this, you're right, and this is what's amazing, is he has to figure out what he can do to make her like him for him.

And so he goes to the best friend for advice. And this is, I'm actually, I'm surprised right here, and it must have been. because let's face it, it's this movie. It must have been the actress said no because she's just taking a sexy bath and the door knocks, she screams, get away, go away, which I totally understand that.

And then she gets out the tub and like that towel comes up and I was like, but this is Wishmaster for, you have no standards. That was, I mean, her voice must have been sore from saying no for three weeks. Absolutely, no, I will not. No, we won't do that. No, please, please. But he comes in

And it's just, it is, it's a, so how do you get a girl to like you? Say I had a dark secret I needed to tell Lisa, but I was worried once I tell her she's going to run away. Dark secret, you know, dark secret you haven't talked to your mother in 20 years. Dark secret, you are Ted Bundy. What are we talking here at the dark secret? Well, I knew Caligula. I lived through the black plague and I had a pretty good time during that. Kind of caused part of it.

Prolonged it, made it worse. Well, let me ask you. Do you have some money? Because I do, you know, I have this card here. This is a guy named Hitch. You know what? He might be able to help you land this plane. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bannan up, pan to let up.

Is that any relation to my good friend Hitchler? That was his name, right? That chap with the mustache. Yeah, the first time I met the gin. He came in. He called me Hitchler, and I didn't correct him, and I thought I'd never see him again. You've got to tell me, how did you land Ava Braun? How do nailing hot chicks like Ava Braun?

Teach me some of those Linojosen dances so I can get my own lady. Wait, how old is she? Oh, maybe not, maybe not. Maybe Hitchler, you stay there. That's what he should have went back in time and talked to fucking this buddy colligula. That didn't close the deal. I just like the idea of the fucking Wishmaster and Will Smith, like, going to each family member of Lisa and accidentally killing them while, like, Something tells me I'm into something good plays in the background.

First things first, you have to stop trying to get people to wish for things. That is just number one, you know, just get that out of your vocabulary. Tracy's like, listen, when you stop by the boutique the other day there, I clocked it. You said wish about six times and used the word angels about three. Adults don't want to hear other adults say those words. You can't end every sentence with, if you wish it. no look he's a really nice guy but there's one thing

he's gonna talk about wishes a lot like I'm talking about like if you're ordering appetizers do you wish to split something yes exactly mozzarella sticks if you wish it oh you wish to split well in that case four of those

mozzarella sticks are yours and four of them are mine it's been a pretty good night I mean we can take the seven train back to my place if you wish it I mean the artichoke dip is kind of small portions. Do you wish to double it? You know, computer chess is playing at the Angelica at 3 p.m.

And 5 p.m. Which one do you wish to see? Babe, what do you want for dinner tonight? I don't know, whatever you wish. Whatever you wish, babe. I guess we can get black olives on it if you wish it. She picked out the sushi restaurant

out of all the takeout menu, so that counts as a wish. There, I'm one step closer to bringing you guys back. The guys show up, like, what is the point of all these wishes if we do not get free? You have to grant the original third wish. It's been seven years of all these wishes that mean nothing. Our children are grown.

It is pretty funny when Tracy goes, now keep in mind, Stephen, you're dealing with a woman who hasn't made love in three years to which the gin hilariously just responds. three years you've been encased in a jewel for hundreds of years oh that's kind of sad dude that's a great question Steve apropos of our lepracon conversations

all the time where it's like these are supposed to be all different lepracons even though they're all Warwick Davis is this regardless of Divoff stopping playing the character are these all supposed to be different gins? It's a great question but I would say probably

not because we finally see other gins in this movie and the designs are different. And this gin's design is much closer to the div-up. He's got the Anthony Kedis fucking horns going back there.

He is, I mean, he is actually designed. I mean, it's just like two, like three humps of shit. They look like absolute garbage. They're coolies. They look like adult goolies. It's terrible. Stinky especially, I do not like. But so she says for some reason

I wish that I I wish I had earth-shattering sex Or what was it? What is it? Killer. I wish I had killer sex. So then you need the guy from seven to come out It's a dick thing. Yeah, where's the knife dildo? But she like gets levitated on the wall having an orgasm And then we just cut and we're done.

But there's crunching noises that are on Well, that's normal for sex You can't have this wish go on And she's like pressed up against his wall in the air coming and then you just recorded a fat guy eating potato chips and what is that supposed to be? She's supposed to be a horny character and there's no nudity and there's no sex,

there's no killer, there's no sex that we just leave and we just assume she's dead. You have to take a note from the popular video game franchise Mortal Kombat. You got to start thinking of these things in terms of fatalities. Oh, you want to have killer sex? She's up on the wall, she's vibrating,

she's coming, she's screaming, and then she just fucking explodes. That's a great answer. A pile of bones. That's how you steer clear of the NC17. You can't go full on Leland Orser banging her with a fucking knife game. Right. Right. That's too graphic.

Her exploding from an orgasm sounds great. Sure. Why not? Or maybe even if she has like a weird like if she's doing, uh, uh, uh, and like her head just snaps. You know what she just dies. Yeah. You know. Oh, but then you have to hire people to do stuff.

I don't know. It's killer sex. There has to be someone involved, right? It can't just be her. She's not even touching herself. I'm sorry. sorry I mean if she just had an orgasm and her head exploded scanner style that's fine I don't need anything special the line killer orgasm yes it's true oh that's what'll do it's

that'll do I just fix the movie while that's going on we're cutting back and forth between this scene and the scene where it leases in bed and Sam comes home yes you think it's Sam coming home from the strip club turns out this whole thing's a fucking dream sequence but he gets into bed and starts going downtown and I was like this was the answer all along. Well I this in me was like oh well this is a dream it's a fucking fantasy

Lance she might as he might as will be a fucking centaur this guy going down on her. It's just never going to happen but yeah he comes then like Sam comes in because she wakes up screaming and he's like what's going on she's like oh I just I had a nightmare

or something like shut up or then like Sam's hand turns into the Jin's hand during this encounter in this dream sequence. Then she wakes up, then Sam's like, what's your fucking problem? And she goes, I'm a nightmare. We were having sexy. Yeah, sounds like a nightmare. I'm going to go

soak somewhere. Were you fucking the lawyer in the dream too? And he leaves and he, this is where he starts getting the idea. He starts looking through the sketchbook and we saw his old, paint me like your French girls fucking sketches. And this is where the gin goes to the strip club. Oh my God. And I got to tell you,

there's a real fucked up thing. Dante's Dan, my friend. Dante's Den. Great name for a strip club. But he's talking to this bartender and like here's this stripper and the like the stripper that's like dancing is like the most popular one in the club or whatever, all this stuff. And this bartender, first

of all, great exchange here he says, what would make a woman like that fall in love to which the bartender says a fat wallet? And this waitress out of nowhere from left field runs in and goes, out of fat day! Like she couldn't let it go by. And that's a fat dick

Yeah, a fat dick to you, sir You could have a fat dick if you wish it But then The bartender says What I wouldn't give To be a pimple on her ass And he's like Do you wish that would be the case?

He's like, yeah, I wish I could be a pimple on her ass He makes this dude disappear And so you're seeing Like the waitress And the gin looking at this woman dancing and the waitress gets like a horrified look on her face at one point and I'm like

okay where's the society effect here where this guy's face is on her fucking ass it doesn't happen and then like later just a few minutes later in the same scene you are seeing all of this woman's ass and there's not a pimple on it. You could you can either go full

society like he's got a big a big head pimple on her ass which would be exciting or you go like you see a pimple and you close up and it's the guy's face he's like really tiny or even bare minimum just get a pimple

from the fucking prop department put it on her ass and then it's you're like yeah that's it that's all that's all I need

and we just don't do it we stop we start doing these half-assed wishes man and I don't care for it it's really bad so this is going on and this turns into

I think the funniest moment of the movie is when this dude the hunter comes to the bout Oh, my God. And, like, so the one lady, Tracy is, of course, deceased at this point.

Yeah. And Lisa isn't working that day. And it's just this other lady, this fucking Kathy cartoon that works there. Yeah. And he comes in and he's like looking around or whatever. What is her name, Jen? Janet, yes. And, you know, she's like, oh, can I help you, this, that, the other thing.

And, like, she's getting freaked out. And she, like, oh, there's this very handsome man robbing my store. When I tell you how hard I laugh, this dude. This dude takes out his huge sword and just decapitates this woman. Yes, it's so good. After she pepper sprayed him and didn't do anything.

And then, yeah, she calls the police and he cuts her at him. I didn't expect the hunter to also kill civilians. It's either. It's fantastic. I was cackling. It might be my favorite moment of the movie.

It's great because he's doing all this fucking gatekeeper stuff. The gatekeeper and the key messenger's like, oh, the waker must be woken. And she's like, yeah, but we have that for two for an okay all right and then she just gets fucking decap it's a good

it's a good kill it's a good kill it is it's it's the best kill of the movie it's fucking funny the effects are good but then the gin is just hanging out he's becoming a regular strip club for like 20% of the movie yes yes and he's what

Sam shows up and he's talking to her like oh how about that one would you wish to be with her you want to have sex again Sam did Alexandria get to my chocolates It's important. And also, I have a request. I want her to do her next dance

to the frow-frau song from Garden State. Shit, how does that one go again? Drink up, baby, damn. Who are you in or are you out? I'm sick at. I feel like I'm fucking Zach Braff putting on the headphones right now, being like, wow, this is changing my life. Let go, let go.

It's such a good little sorry. Actually, I like the next routine to be the Ave Maria, please. I love that track when it came out. It was great. It was there when it was written, of course. I mean, it's a good song. We will have to do Garden State, right? Oh, we have.

It's long overdue. I was afraid to do it when we were first starting out because people love that shit. Yeah, but, you know, as we get older, you got to stop caring about the psychos. The fucking funniest thing in that movie, if I'm remembering it right, is that his mom dies when she falls on an open, the dishwashers open and the thing is out and the knives are oh really whoa if I'm remembering final destination I didn't realize that was in that movie I think that's the thing in the movie because like Ian Holm is the dad and I think it's a thing where the mom she's literally and I'm like who the fuck well it's a dishwasher that's what that's what that's you know what

because if it was a gym involved well no I think if you had done it today like Ian home clearly would be the focus of a podcast oh absolutely he was going to he killed his wife like oh sure sure sure yeah yes well we just always washed our knives like that the sharpest right up i mean dude yeah i mean let's welcome welcome to uh modern america if you if your wife dies under mysterious circumstances you're fucked for the rest of your life it's just like yeah yep car accident's like oh that guy did it that's slimy every one of my in loves that that slimy little shit was all always did it well and that then you have to start when people are standing at you and whisper and you've got to give him a wing.

Exactly. Just have a little fun. We were going hiking the other day and I'm like, man, if she fucking just get, I'm just, no one's ever going to believe it. No one's ever going to believe it. Not with you. I would have said, yeah, no, I saw this coming. Exactly.

Because of all your stuff, you know, you say you would rat us out for anything. I would testify against you. Drop that. I bet you, I bet you's going to say he doesn't know. I bet you he's going to tell he doesn't know what happened. I know this man completely. He did tell me everything would change on this trip before he left. He said he felt like a new man when he came home.

A new lease on life. Just you wait, he said. Now, I'm not one to notice when someone has a pep in those steps, but... He really did seem like he was smelling the roses. So the gin basically just pisses this dude off right here because he's... The bouncer, yeah. No, Sam comes to the club and he's like, wouldn't you like to fuck some of this? What?

No, you're a huge pussy, okay. Don't you wish to do that? What do you wish to do? It's like whatever you wish for, pal, I don't give him. a fuck and he leaves, which is great. Would you like to mope more intensely? Is that something you'd be interested in? Could you be more sad?

Do we have a bright eyes record in the house? And then this woman breaks into this like magic set. Yeah, it's just like, that's that one. Very weird. And it's also, by the way, it's very clearly the middle of the day. Oh, yeah. So how is A, she the big draw?

That doesn't make any sense. I was shocked when the bouncer and the jingo. outside to settle this their upcoming dispute and it's bright as hell. Can I tell you what I think it is though? Because when they get there when you first see the sign of the club on the outside, the establishing shot

it's definitely night time. This gin is just fucking hanging out at this strip club all night. Charlie, Charlie, could you re-up the turkey sausages in the buffet? But so then this bouncer comes over Oh man.

And I, he just, oh, that's right, because the gin touches her. And as you know in a strip club, the second that happens, the bad is like, hey man. And the bounce is actually even being kind of cool about it. This guy, yeah, the fact that this guy doesn't throw him out on his ass instantly, he's like, hey man, you know the rules, come on now. Like he's actually like, stay back, you know, next

drinks on me, just relax. He's like, actually this drinks on you and pours his drink on this guy. Why is this guy, why is this gin who has this mission to make this woman fall in love with him? Why is he taking these side quests to fuck with bouncer and strip clubs? I don't understand it. For this up

Coming scene. You know, just for all my other gin brethren that have been thrown out by assholes like this guy. Just like, listen, she wanted to touch my head. I touched her head. Well, now I'm an asshole. And I mean, this. He's like drunk. This fucking wish is no, like, it's equally as passive as all the other stupid ones.

It's great. He's beating the shit out of him. What do you think the gin's preferred spirit is, is it gin? Well, he says brandy. Oh, wow. That's right. Yeah. He says to the bartender.

Like, he throws down a fucking hundred. on the bar and he's like, your finest brandy. And I'm like, do you see where you are? This club is disgusting. It is. Yeah. You have any cavaciers. Oh, our finest brandy. Does that means Evan Williams whiskey is what exactly.

Oh, you gave me $100. Well, here's $98 in change. Evan Williams and some sugar. There we go. But so the bouncer takes him outside. He's like, get out of here. Kicks the shit out of them. We do get points off. Bad F bomb here. Right.

because he's like, what are you some kind of F because you want me to beat you up. Exactly. And I don't know if that's an F so much as you're just a pain pig, man. Like you like getting beat up. Sure. Could be anybody. But yeah, they get into this fight and like the fucking Jin just gets his

ass kicked. It's very funny. And then the guy's walking away and he thinks he's got this hot shot line here, which I think under any other circumstance, yes. But he's like, I wish you'd put up a better fight motherfucker. And it's like, granted. Yeah, he's hard as a rock. right there. He's like, let's go.

Here we go. And it's just instantly impaling him on this. Well, he breaks his one hand with, like, he just pushes it. He's Superman catches it, then just breaks his hand down. Burns the other one. Yes. I love that both of this dude's hands are demolished, only to have this gin, then impale him on a fence post.

And then like force throw him across the alley into a dumpster. And the force throw is very funny, because I feel it's the cheapest effect in the movie. This guy's on like, It's wire work stuff, but it was like, we can only afford three wires. You probably have like four attached to you, but there's only three because he just slowly and carefully moves across this alley into the dumpster. And the weird quip of when he hits the dumpster.

Now is it Wednesdays and Mondays or Tuesdays and Thursdays? Just say garbage day. You just want to say garbage day. Yeah. I know some people may have a problem with you saying garbage day, but at the time this movie came out, that clip hadn't been memed yet on YouTube. That's true. So you should have just said fucking garbage day. Or like, oh, I guess it's garbage day.

You know, like. Something. Like. At first I was like, is he talking about alternate side parking? What the fuck is going on? I was just like, wow, they got a lot. That's frequent garbage pickup for this town. Mine's only once a week.

Well, I guess he's really getting into the skin of Stephen. Now he knows the garbage pickup schedule. Sure. The jids like rolling the garbage to the curb. Like, oh, this guy had a lot of garbage. Hold on. What is this property taxes? What am I pick?

don't have kids. Oh, he's one of those. Oh, Christ almighty. The Jinn would absolutely have to be one of those guys. I don't understand why it's my problem. I have the star credit. What do you mean? I have to still pay this amount. I simply won't do it.

After he throws the dude in the dumpster, the fucking, I guess it's the gin fire portal. Yes. Opens up and these three ghouly ass gin come out and they're like, hey, quit fucking around and make that woman fall in love with you. At this point, Lisa, is being chased by the hunter in the woods. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. It's a car chase at first.

That's right, yes. Because she's driving down the road, la la la, my fucking Bronco too. And this dude is just standing in the middle of the road. Yes. She stops. He starts, like, attacking immediately. She's like driving backwards. It turns into this thing where this dude on foot is chasing a car.

A slow bronco chase. Oh, right, right. But they do a, it's like the slow motion jump over. It's like the fucking shot from the rock car chase. Yeah. I'll be going over the fucking thing. There's a total dukes of hazard move which comes to nothing.

She does crash the cards. A big rollover. And this like fucking dude is like chasing her down and then uh-oh, the gin out of nowhere. Here comes Stephen. We get this really cheap fucking fight between these guys. He hits the hunter with a rock and then he breaks off a branch to fight. Yes. He's like,

oh, this will be my sword hunter. I would have killed you so much quicker, but I just would beaten up a guy for saying the F word. but this is the watcher I'm woke this dude

the hunter rather this is where he has most of his dialogue and like the dub job job on this guy is so awful but I think it's supposed to be because he's supposed to be

otherworldly like how an angel would talk but at least with the gin doing that it's like it's a fucking monster so it's fine like Divoff when he's Divoff in Divoff form in those movies. He's not dubbed. That's just

his voice. Yes. Right, but this you know, oh, it's the other, it's supposed to be you got to make that guy into something other than just a dude. Paid to blue or something. Because he looks, he looks like he could fit in on the fucking cheap ass Highlander TV show. Of course, yeah. All he's missing is the duster. I don't think he has a duster on. He's got

the sword for it. And then the gin makes his own sword out of the gemstone. Oh yeah, that was pretty cool. The gin sword is definitely better than this other guy's sword. And they fight and he just impales of bestsum. He wins. I was like this hunter, the hunter was built up. I think the hunter should have had a little more

moments. I mean, look, I guess we set up that the sword can kill the gin is the only thing that really, right. You presume that there's going to be an actual hero with the yes. There's going to be like somebody, like some guy who's like like the fucking alien from critters

who's actually the hero of the thing that's trying to kill the critters. Even though you never think of that guy. It's always the kids the craters you think about right but there should be this one care but no this guy just immediately oh fuck it i'm dead the natural one would be sam to actually get you know his cahones and what what do you want you want me to do something and more on this fucking potential lawsuit that i really think the highlander people should look at sure when this guy gets killed there's straight up a quickening yes there's like it's not the same exact thing it's not lightning and you know

the gin doesn't absorb his powers or whatever but this big blue light fire and comes down, takes this dude away. Fuck, I should have ate some of that. She should just grab some of that, like, just ate it. So now it's time to get down. The gin has just been playing around too much. It's time to fuck. Yeah, yeah.

And this is Lisa comes home. She has found a note supposedly from Sam that's like, this won't come as any surprise to you, but I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back. Don't try to find me, yada. Why did he leave Shade's No Ordinary Love Play? in the background. Let's get it going, babe.

And so she's all pissed off. And then wouldn't you know it? Here comes the gin right on time. They get down to fucking. Yes. And it's a real, like, she's on him like immediately. They finish and I was like,

lady, he got gin seed inside you. Oh, yeah. The gin, fuck. You got a little gin in you. The end should have to be like a little gin popping out of it. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah.

Totally. Like a gin maggot. Like Cronenberg. Or like like, like you're like, like you're going to. the hospital it's like she's giving birth and it's like it's got it's got wings yeah it's it's like it's like even for this wetter than it should be i i don't know how to say this but it just i've

seen a lot of babies it shouldn't be this wet this is also like when they're fucking and all the other gym hands like come up behind her yeah they're helping the pumping help her he's help her he's they're like it's like midsumar they're like pushing yeah into the sex come on now come on which also doesn't count for her loving him because he's still Michael Trucoe, you know what I mean? Like it's not, you got to love him for who he really

is, which is the gin. But that's what it's right after this, like he's sitting there and he's in Truco form obviously and he's like not smoking a cigarette, but it is that like cigarette after sex moment and he's like, so you love me for who I am and she's like I love what you just

did to me. Yeah, exactly. He's like, well yeah, but you know, I mean, you love me right? And she's like, what are you talking of. Someone should have explained to the gym. Like, you can't just go around saying, I love you. It's not 1841 anymore. This girl isn't going to die in three years. She's not going to love the first guy that fucks her.

Just like a sense of, you had some, one of, like, stinky or farty had to explain to him that you have to have a little bit of fun. Like, just like, you know, I never asked for a payment, but would you do me a favor? I don't, you don't really mean it, it's fine.

It's good, but could you say this for me? I know it's so silly And oh God I just am so happy We found each other But could you say this for me He's like pathetically begging at this point Being like

Well you'll never be sick You'll never suffer You'll live forever Just give you so freely Come on Come on And then he does this You'll be inexplicably wet all the time

He says Oh there's different kinds of love Which I love I would love me like a friend What if I was like a dog That you love I mean, look, don't you love Mondays? You love a toaster, strudel, don't you?

Well, every morning. The love of a good TV show. You know, you've seen all the episodes a bunch of times, but you still love it. It's comfortable, you know, it just comforts you. Gin Stanza. Oh, she'll love me one day, she will. But she gets pissed off right here because he's like, come on, love the real me. And she goes, who is the real you?

Stephen and fucking stomps up the stairs. And this is when it turns into like nightmare house where all the gyms are, because he has this temper tantrum. He just starts like destroying the house. It's like the end of hellraiser. The house is falling apart. And then Sam shows up right and it's like, oh, here's your night

and shining armor. I'll save you. What are you going to do? Sam, cry me to death. And he says, you know, he's like, I wish I had a way to kill you. And he's like, granted. And he gives them the sword. But then he quickly impel Sam on the sword, which is

hilarious. And Sam, I mean, this is so sad. I mean, as if this character has been through enough, and I know he sucks at all. But the sword, he can barely pick it. Like, yes, that's very funny. Racking it around. I'm like, man,

this guy. And this is, we do get it. I did appreciate this move here. It's kind of a nice you got no money. You got to think of something, right? When he's showing her, like, this could be your land. that you live in with me, Lisa. And they're standing in like

a shallow fountain, but like it's not supposed to be shallow, you know, looks like they're walking on water. It's kind of a cool little something. You can choose the color of your tendrils that come out to your head and down your bodies. It actually, it's a very, you are very integral to the design.

All right, yes. And the deal is, I'm the only gin you ever have to talk to. Okay, you're not talking stinky and farty and a fat guy and the rest. And two times, none of them. None of those you just started friends did you oh yeah they have sex in a museum exhibit that's how it happens when it finally does happen that's how it happens but she she's basically like no they we cut back sam is still dead on the floor but like dying i guess is the idea yeah because like she's

talking to the gin the gin's got his back to sam and she makes eye contact with sam and sam's kind of they do a little like hey i got i got a plan here you know you use those legs one last time baby he slightly stands up so she could push the gin onto the sword it's a pretty cool move it is I thought at first he was trying to like pull it out of himself yeah yeah but just the image

of this guy who could barely pick up the sword heaving himself from this wound and be like no I can hold it just just get it well all she needs is a second man she is hip immediately to what he's putting down and just pushes this gin the gin gets run through so you had a little

fucking dude kebab here which is nice guys she's fucked kebab yeah because lady I'm sorry you fucked the gin yeah

because I think that's what the end of the movie is kind of fascinating so that happens I guess this makes us wish master brothers she just kind of starts to leave the house

it's just music and it's just kind of her living with it for a little while she stands outside the house and kind of thinks about the movie and then walks out of the frame

and then as if the house had any significance to the film's story at all, the house is the last thing you see and it fades to black and that's the end of it. I guess that guy was really a genie. What the fuck? I guess my boyfriend's definitely dead back up there

with a monster and they're impaled on the same. Anyway, let's go to the movies. Yeah, on with my life. At that point, fucking start a fire and burn this thing down. Because there's, like, there are ways that, you know, horror movies end like this where it's like, that's it.

The fucking craziness is over. and boom end of the movie but like like thinking about like the end of like texas chainsaw right and it's just like Marilyn burns just screaming in the back of that car and like that's the end of it and it's like okay so then it's like and yeah and leather faces waving the chants or whatever but it's like that is there's some finality there and you can see that like she's obviously been through it whatever this woman is just like ah just another day in Canada I'm sorry if or Michigan pardon me if my fucking if my experience was and the Wishmaster, I'd also be like, well, I guess.

It's kind of a Michael Clayton ending a little bit where we're just kind of focusing. I mean, it's not as artistic with the one shot of like him and the cab, just like, give me a hundred bucks anywhere, you know, it's not that, but she is kind of like, it's the same thing. She's just sort of livid with it. She looks at her feet, you know, a hundred bucks worth. We do see as she, we get the shot of them riding away in the motorcycle again. Oh, right, yes. And if she's just like, huh, well, at least, you know what?

folks, that was a good memory to end the movie on. Bye, everybody. Thanks for definitely renting this on tape. But that is the end of Wishmaster for the prophecy. What the fuck's it called? Prophecy fulfilled. Which it was not. No. But we'll go

around the horn here for some recommendations and final thoughts. Eric Siska. Yeah, no. This is not great, but it's sort of a recommend because I had fun with it. There's some decent kills, like the Hunter one. You got to see the just watch this movie if you haven't already

this lady sees this sword coming out of her throat and goes and then gets it's not good but it's you could you could be watching Wishmaster 3 so you're happy to watch Wishmaster 4 Chris Kamen yeah I mean I think I have to recommend it just because I did have fun with it I was never bored with this movie

which is a stark difference from the last one and like yeah there are a couple desks where you're just like that's genuinely funny and like weird that you did that I don't know. I was entertained enough. You know, and how many do you get to say about with the number fours? That's true.

Yeah, this is a four, true, true and true four here. Oh, yeah. But it is a return, it's a return to four or four. Four, four, four. F-O-U-R-M. It is, because it's fun in the wishmastery way. I do wish you could, the sex kill has to be better, the pimple kill has to be better, the kiss kill has to be better.

if you cleaned those three up it'd be a really full-throated recommend for me the fact that those kind of just like they either ran out of money or they just ran out of imagination peter out kind of pissed me off a little bit but it is it's absolutely recommend it's a silly weirdo movie if you like the first two

wishmasters you will probably like this one yeah that's fair yeah it's a light what recommend for me it's 92 minutes there's some good kills it is a return to form don't start here if you haven't seen wishmaster movies like not that there's any continuity to be confused about but like

Andrew Divoff is the one true Wishmaster. This other dude is not and that's fine, whatever you're not going to, you know, we didn't have Kane hotter for every Jason whatever it is. The first two are good like they're actually good movies. Wanted to point this out though

crazy, the guy who plays Sam fella named Jason Thompson Canadian actor Oh you don't say. Check this shit out though. From 2005 to 2016. Ligula. 1,141 episodes of General Hospital.

But then fucking get this. Marfucker jumps ship or maybe General Hospital is canceled. I don't know if that's still on. Goes in 2016. So same year starts on the Young and the Restless. 16 through 24, so he might still even be on it. 1,199 episodes. And Young and the Restless dude, he's playing Billy Abbott.

He's part of the Abbott family on Young and the Restless. It's like he wasn't restless at all. It sounds like he really did. Those soap operas, it's like an episode of day. It's like a podcast. You're just working. That's just acting work. That's totally every day.

I do love also, if you go to Wishmaster 4 on IMDB, the first picture in the carousel is from, I guess, they were shooting the Atley fight, and it's the bouncer and the dude and the fucking gin maker. They're having fun. Gin guy is John Novak, I guess, just to put that out there. He was in Legends of the Fall, 7th Sun apparently. Oh, okay.

That fucking Stargate SG1 TV show Oh my God, he's in Home Sweet Home Alone That's unfortunate That movie fucking sucked But anyway, guys, I can't even believe it This is the fucking end of the spooktacular You know what the cool thing is, Andrew? There's even more for-or content

On the Patreon, so much more for-or content The Patreon. That's right. We had the We Love movies episode this month Which was all about Halloween for The Return of Michael Myers, great fucking movie Yeah, so it was a lot of fun to talk about We have the commentary track on Silent Night, Deadly Night,

for the initiation initiation and if that's not out already it'll be out this Thursday but also I think you can still snag tickets and watch the replay of our scream 4 show at moment that CEO slash we ate movies we did we did the once in a lifetime face of evil hell yeah not a legitimately fun movie not a four

but a fun TV movie about a lady killer it was the fourth movie I looked at for doing That's right. That's how it's it. There you go. Yeah, no, that's Tracy Gold killing women and assuming their identities, which is pretty great. We did a horror-themed, Halloween-themed, Ace Ventura

Pet Detective cartoon episode. Awful. That one almost broke. Yeah, that's a tough one. For animation, damnation. The Melrose Place was just the season two finale of Melrose Place, but goddamn. What fine television that was.

But very evil. Very evil. very evil malachi throne you know he's right there speaking of evil sith lord xr khan on the gleep glossary the star wars sideshow was he the one who fought alison's father the two big faces of evil yeah yeah yeah that sounds right first first uh fellow to have a double-ended lightsaber though that's right double edge

bend over and I'll show you that's right that's right that's right uh so all that and more over on patreon.com slash we hate movies now you know we love a good theme month around here and uh we've been doing this for the the last few years now we end the sputacular in october we go right into we love movies month in november that is the case folks that's right all in november all the tuesday episodes will be we love movies and uh then we'll have one patrons only we hate movies episode going on in november but for now steve when the show comes back next tuesday what fantastic film will we be talking about oh it's one of my favorites actually

It's Batman from 1966. Yes, Batman, colon, the movie. Yes. Pod. Whack. Hell yeah, all of that. It was great revisiting that. And I got to say, folks, you got to sign up for that Patreon because you get the Big Daddy Dispatch.

You know all the stuff that were pumping into We Love Movies. Plus, ad-free episodes. That's right. The $8 level up. You can hear all these WLMs next month ad-free. But that's going to do it. Again, you know, fantastic sputagnular, fellas, I think. That movie that we killed it for.

Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. So until next week, when we're talking about a movie that has four villains in it, as a matter of fact. I've been Andrew Jupin. Steve didn't say that. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Four. Zombies have entered the building, they're at the door, they're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wickham Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies! Movies don't create psychos!

Movies make psychos! What's the fucking lotion in the bathroom? It was an excellent day for an exorcism.