We Hate Movies - S15 Ep766: Batman: The Movie (W❤️M)

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

“His Joker has haunted me more than Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson or Mark Hamill!” - Andrew on Cesar Romero On this week’s episode, we’re kicking off We ❤️ Movies month with a fun-AF conversation about the super-silly, action-packed, superhero camp classic, Batman: The Movie! How incredible are all of these performances? Between this movie and filming the TV show, was the studio working these actors like dogs or what? Why is Batman stashing all his vehicles (land, sea and air) right out in broad daylight? Why are so many marine animals being obliterated throughout the film? And who were they kidding with that anti-alcohol line, everyone on this set was drinking before noon every day! PLUS: Does Bruce Wayne have the Memento memory disease and that’s why he has to label so many things in the Batcave? Batman: The Movie stars Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, Alan Napier, Neil Hamilton, Stafford Repp, Madge Blake, and Reginald Denny as Commodore Schmidlapp; directed by Leslie H. Martinson. This episode is brought to you in part by Uncommon Goods! To get 15% off your next gift, go to UNCOMMON GOODS dot com slash WHM. That’s UNCOMMON GOODS dot com slash WHM, for 15% off! And this episode is also sponsored in part by Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. Be sure to head to our website for all ticketing information on our final shows of the year in Seattle, Portland (Oregon)—both happening next week!— & Boston (in December)! And it's your last chance to snag your 🎟️ for the replay of our SCRE4M show! Window closes after November 6! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Bus Movie, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!   Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

this week on the program you know it's not as fun sober but it's a hell of a good time all the same it's batman the movie i'm andrew jupin commodore smidlap bat siska uh chris katania irinia titania kerenska alisov cabin oh very hot oh cabka and we love movies Hello, we're doing to we love movies. Thank you for you for tuning in as always. That's right. We are kicking off. We Love Movies Month from the Sputacular to We Love Movies Months, folks. The themes they keep flying.

We're here to talk about Batman the movie from 1966, directed by Leslie H. Martinson. This dude passed away in 2018, before he did, legendary storied career directing television, including what he went out on, what he retired on,

26 episodes directing the sitcom Small Wonder. Oh. Oh. What is a small one? Dude, weird show. Little girl robot show. A little girl robot who's kind of the maid of the house as well, as I understand. If you're a robot, get a broom out.

Come on. Because it's like, but the weird part is they have a kid. They have a little kid, little boy, little doughy shit, shit boy. And then the dad's an adventurer's like, I invented a little girl. Why did you do that? Exactly. Why did you do that? I would be keeping that.

She's perfect in every way. That's worth bad enough. I would be also keeping it. away from the young boy who was growing and having all kinds of emotions as they do. I just don't think it's a great idea. You're right, Chris. It's just a, it's just this step robot. So it's just all all points to know as far as I'm concerned.

I have a way to start. Go for it, dude. Because I mean, we're an old, we're a bunch of uncles as we like to say on this show. Sure. I remember. Some of us literally are. I'm not an uncle. No, but you know, we're stealing the valor of an uncle.

All the cool. Zillenials listening to us right now, you know, like, I remember, which will make me sound like a dinosaur. I remember this before Bert. I really do. I remember watching this show. Wait, wait, wow. You saw this in the

theater in 1966. Yes, I did. Danny Trejo was his mid-range, you know. You know, Steve, if you were 40-something, I'd say, boy, you don't look good. But the fact that you were at the movies in 1966, you look fantastic. Okay, good. I have actually 40-something.

You got the Trejo's syndrome. I know. It was me and Sharon Tate, they're like, they show superhero movies in this theater. And I was like, yeah, I know, weird. But Steve, no, I do understand what you're saying. I feel like I remember this before the Tim Burton one as well, because this was

on TV constantly in the 80s and 90s. This is my first Batman. It's weird that it is. It makes me feel like an old, old person, but it is. Like, I remember, and I remember watching it as a kid sincerely like oh cool he's punching the Joker and like you know I love the fucking Batmobile and all that

kind of kid stuff yeah I am going to be separated from you on this thing because this is post Snyder that I see the full the thing the full other than just like seeing it patchwork oh it's on TV watch a little bit of it change the channel what about like the TV show

itself not just this movie show itself like I've definitely seen episodes here and there but I was not like obsessed with it it was not something the anime series was much more important to me as far as my vision of Batman. Burton was my first Batman for sure. Chris, you've got to go back to the TV show

because you get to see Autopreminger play Mr. Free. I have seen since like when I found about Preminger, I watched an episode with him in it. That was pretty cool. But like it just was never a thing I was addicted to. There was one summer when I went in

like hardcore watching the show of this because and it was the same production companies so I guess like sci-fi channel bought it as a package I'm pretty sure it's a sci-fi channel they would do like two Batman episodes and two Green Hornet

episodes oh wow okay and that was like an afternoon block of stuff and it was just like one summer me and like a neighborhood kid like got really into like appointment rerun television and I saw a shit ton of this show and I don't actually think I watched this movie the the 66 motion picture

until like way later in life. I must have been above the legal drinking age before I watch this week. Same actually. Same experience, Andrew. I watched the show a ton actually growing up and then I think I saw the movie like college age. Okay.

Anybody watching that Green Hornet show with me by the way? No, I never got to the Green Hornet. I feel like it wasn't around as much. I mean, WPIX definitely in New York played the Batman, the old Batman show a lot. That's where I, that's where I started. And yeah, I mean, it's, this movie is, I, I, I, I, I haven't watched it. I don't go back to it a ton. I hadn't rewatched it in a really long time, but last year, my wife was out of town and I was stone and I was like,

what if I watched Batman 66 and then the Batman right after it? Oh, nice. So that was my day, that was my day. And I think this movie is fucking fantastic. And by the way, I didn't even even realize that in the Batman all four of these villains appear which is kind of funny I put it together today too watching it I was like wait a second

they're both all but you didn't say what is it like mixing a blue wine punch and whiskey is it good is it a good flavor match yeah we call that a wipeout cocktail

they couldn't be more disparate as movies but I mean I just I love the idea and it's something that, you know, I still haven't seen the new Joker yet. I will probably soon. I love the idea having fun with this shit. Like, hey man, what if we just, these costumes are great. Let's just make them look kind of fun and like, you know what I mean? Like we've got this amazing curveball where the dads can have a good, the mom and the dad's can have a cocktail and a laugh and the little kids will be blown away by all the effects. A cocktail and a laugh And you know a fucking half a pack of cigarette smoking in the theater when you take your kids to this.

Now, Steve, I have a question relating to, like, the arc of, like, Batman, like, the comic timeline. Because, like, when did Batman start getting, like, dark on the page? Because it used to be also, like, kind of more fun, not as, like, gooftacular as this and as joke heavy. But, like, it was still much lighter, kind of closer to this, right? It gets darker in the 70s. Neil Adams shows up and some other people who make. Batman a little, we get into the more grim joker, he's not just...

The Joker stuff, right? That's what did it, right? Yeah, it's that stuff starts happening like the, I believe the clown fish thing is in the 70s, and then obviously the 80s, and then Frank Miller, and then we're like, then we're in grim dark, and now we're in a place where it is

so grim, dark of the comics with the fucking, the Batman who laughed. Stapled to his face. Yes, the Batman who's a Joker that's also a Joker on the side. And there's also a Dr. Manhattan now that's a Joker. Everyone's

a Joker everybody. You are going to love the end of the new movie, Steve. Oh, boy. Are you going to love it? But you know, at the same time, I like that Batman, all the properties, the continuity doesn't matter. The canon really kind of doesn't matter. Every single new thing

is its own thing. I wish more franchise did this. Like, just do a Star Wars movie and have, all right, just do whatever you fucking want. I mean, that is a good idea, but like the problem is that they'd never leave the talent alone to make the movie that they really want to make. It's always mixed. It's always the Peptobismo and the whiskey. It's just, it's just, it doesn't work like that.

And we're always thinking three, three moves ahead. We have to be. We couldn't just let somebody have fun on one on one of these rides. And I mean, it's, this movie is just, it's insane that this movie was made. At first, I wanted to make it before the TV show. Right. And then they wound up taking it, making it after the first season. Like, they work these people like dogs.

Dude, it's like the 90210.2 kids. They get a fucking break with this stuff. Like the first episode of the show aired like January 12th, 1966. This movie comes out the end of July, 1966. Good God. They used to work on my choruses. And you know what? That might have actually been for the better ultimately.

I don't know, but we'll see. What I like is that this kind of humor, I mean, it's not this exact kind of humor, but like they have allowed this kind of Batman to continue, but it's all the animated stuff, right? It's all, some version of it is on that.

You can now get every strain. It's like we, now you can get every strain you ever wanted at any kind. So like, if you want it a little funny but a little serious with some blood, you got that. You want to just all kid's stuff, you got that. You want a little kid's stuff with a little bit of a teenage vibe

to it. You also have that. It's all, varieties at this point of Batman and they're all a max I think at this point other than this is this on there I'm not sure about that because this is a Fox property it might actually be on fucking Disney Plus unless like they did some

rights rejiggering and you know Warner Brothers bought it back I had a Blu-ray of it I didn't know it didn't look like it was on Disney Plus no yeah I got this I rented this off Amazon yeah same same here I could not find it streaming for free, which is a bummer.

But it is a fun movie that you should check out. But before we get into the real play-by-play, you know, the pow-by-pow. I want to read it in an acknowledgement. Oh, please. You don't mind. Sure. Oh, the one from the movie? Yes, Chris.

We wish to express our gratitude to the enemies of crime and the crusaders against crime throughout the world for their inspirational example to them and to the lovers of adventure, lovers of pure. escapism lovers of unadulterated entertainment that's me lovers of the ridiculous and the bizarre to fun lovers everywhere this picture is respectfully dedicated if we had overlooked any sizable group of lovers we apologize it's like a fucking bad magazine and I love it it's so crazy and I also love when it gets to the part

because this is all on like it's the opening scroll I guess it's a scroll it's written on a brick wall and there's a spotlight that's going to each part of the little opening here. When it's like dedicated to fun lovers everywhere, it turns, there's just this couple making out in an alley, and it's almost like the camera guy's like, oh, oh, fuck, it goes back up to the words.

It's pretty cool. It's fucking good, Jerry. Yeah, man, there's an undercurrent of fucking horniness in this movie. Oh, sure. It's something you kind of will miss if you're like stoned and it's 3 o'clock in the morning and you haven't seen this before. Yeah, Gotham's favorite pastime, tonsil hockey

I do want the first part of it just the up to their inspirational example that should be on like the front of every Clint Eastwood movie the enemies of crime and crusaders against crime that really should be on just every one of them. You're right

solidly put that on Jewel. It applies to Richard Jewel it definitely applies to the mule there's a lot of lovers I feel like juror number two is going to have something to say about it as well dude the idea for that movie Like I just read the log line I didn't see the teaser

It sounds like the stupidest fucking thing Like it's gonna be great A dude is on a jury And he starts hearing the case It's a murder case And he's like wait a second Did I kill this person And that's the movie

Love it I can't wait Oh wow what a fucking weird thing I can't wait But hell yeah After that scroll we get Probably one of the more hype openings In the world

Oh god damn The theme is going and the spotlight gets everybody. The colors are going nuts. Yes, the colors, like the blue spotlight on Batman, yellow spotlight on Robin. I really like these colors. I almost wish there was more of this kind of lighting and fun

in the movie itself. Well, I did like the cut of the zone of interest to start this way. That was good. Yes. Yeah, a lot of POWs in that. To the lovers of adventure, lovers of pure escapism, the zone of interest, ladies and gentlemen.

Herr Gumpschmiel. So now we get the Rokes Gallery of Villains. Oh, yeah. Catwoman, the Joker, the Penguin, Riddler, they're all here. Who's your, who's, we got any faves here? I've always been a Frank Gorson man myself. I think he is absolutely insane. He's good.

I'm a Caesar Romero guy and I'll tell you why. I mean, one, it's a fantastic performance. Yes. It's, his Joker has haunted me more. than Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson or Mark Hamill and certainly Barry Cogan but

yeah it's it's it's the mustache it's the refusal to shave the mustache no no no no just put the fucking paint on my face and let's get on with it I like that and you know I agree with you completely Andrew I think I was more of the Caesar Romero guy and I always remembered

whenever I thought you the when I was a kid I thought of the Joker it was always him or Jack Nicholson obviously because I guess that's where we were in culture But the fact that it's just the mustache painted over adds another layer of weird eerieness. It does. Oh, yeah. That's the most camp element of it, I think, like, I'm all Mr. Meredith. I love him as a pangler.

I think it's fantastic in that. And just because I love Burgess Meredith. I mean, the guy rules. But yeah, the, that the Joker is such a, like, he is in all the versions. Like, that's what I kind of like about him is every version of him. He does stand out. yes there is a very big decision being made about the joker this one just being the first one like hey i'm not i'm not doing that i'm not getting rid of the stuff up here this is my right this is

all mine i'm going to the mumble club tonight and i will not be a fucking poser without my mustache thank you very much exactly dude that's i mean that's the thing right caesar romero thinking fucking 14 steps ahead like yeah during the day i'm filming this wacky superhero comedy in los angeles but at night i'm getting fucking blasts I'm drinking rum cocktails. I'm dancing. I'm not shaving this fucking mustache. I'm not going to be on this show.

Shave my mustache and then lose any ability I have to get laid. What are you kidding me? He also like the frame of Caesar Romero is interesting. He's really kind of big in this. Like, he's bulky. He's tall, too. Was he a tall guy? I wonder how tall he was.

He's like towering over Gorset. I love Gorset just because... Six three. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, built like a brick shit house. this joker. God damn, dude. I just love the mincing around and the hitting every little syllable of like that

monologue he gives when he's making his plan. It's just like, the way you can't even mimic it. The way, the energy he's on, it's like fucking cocaine. Yeah. It might have been like cocaine. Yeah, exactly. Probably is cocaine. And Lee Murrayweather's fantastic as this version of Catwoman.

Oh, I mean, yeah. I mean, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not made of stone. I mean, come on. It's the 60s, baby, and they were swinging. Why don't we get more? I kind of wanted more of this narration. Like, Bruce Wayne and his young ward coming down the street. Yes, that is the most normal way we know how to say this.

This is as best as we can do, folks. A peaceful afternoon motor ride. Yeah, it's okay. Two dudes on a motor ride together. Here is Liberace and his best bud right next to him. Just his friend right there. Robin, you have to start looking like me. I'm going to have to do some surgeries on you.

We're not to have to get leg extensions for you. Little buddy. Behind the bat alabra, dude. It's just to help you with your crime fighting. You just, you look like me to be a better crime fighter. You know, we can't really do it anymore because, like, there's way more people and there's way more fucking cars

on the road but man a good Sunday drive there's something to be said for it man there is something to be said for just like hitting the road you know no real destination cruise around put the radio on or whatever you and 53 year olds everywhere agree

on this one this is not a rare opinion this is a very commonly held opinion I mean this seems to all the old person medical commercials I see they're all on Sunday drives. Oh, yeah, I guess that's true. Using their big button cell phones.

Those, all the medical commercials that are released in the United States for, you know, people listening in other parts of the world won't understand this, but we have commercials for medicine and they all take place in some eerie nether space that is, does have kind of this 1960s Batman vibe to it a little bit.

It sort of does, man. You know, we got to make those illegal again. I mean, it's like a fucking multimillion dollar industry now, but like, wow, my kingdom. to not have fucking medical commercials around anymore. There's always a birthday going on. Oh, yes. Every fucking commercial for a goddamn medicine, somebody's

going to a birthday. And I'm like, that's the last place I'm thinking about my medications. I'll be honest with you. There's a great one going around right now. I think it's like Wingovi or something. And it's so bizarre because it's like, it's like there's a parade going on of people who are taking this medication. And then as they go by other scenes, it activates sleeper cells. Like this guy

working on a car like hands the wrench back over and it's like they need me and joins the it's scary it's weird and it's scary and it terrifies me every time I see it it's been cheering candidate stuff they're all like getting bound together they all heard the sound oh ask your doctor

about this hey hey you know better than the doctor tell him he'll write it anyway bully your doctor into a prescription by the way there's one commercial and I've only seen it once because they must have plucked it off the air immediately and I swear it was real

it wasn't a dream my wife saw it too it was two gals like younger like 30 something like attractive business women getting into a car going to go in an Uber because they're like having a day on the town

and having a great time is this an afternoon motor ride and and one of them turns to the other like oh ever since I got on my schizophrenia medication it's just been so much better and like it was like for antipsychotics

I've never seen anything in the... Wait, so then did it play out like this? So then the woman saying that is the woman driving the car, then the woman in the passenger seat just sort of uncomfortably looks over. Like, should you be behind the wheel? Maybe I was watching Mr. Brooks by accident. Oh, no. We cut back to the other woman, and it's the woman on the medication.

There is what I saw, not to keep doing this, but there's what I saw that was like, two was in the name of the medication. was like two vidia or two volgo or something like that right so it's like two two two two through the whole fucking thing is two to two to vulgo this two two two vulgo that whatever it is and then the end of it's like you fucking better make sure you take two vulgo once a day god damn you take two vulgo more than once a day you're fucking dead I was like you got to change you gotta get two out of there yeah that's tricky yeah but so what's happening is

they're on a nice Sunday drive, but they get alerted that Commodore Schmidlap, who is this, a gin and whiskey empressario. We never get enough with Schmidlap, I think. It's a failure of the film. Yes, I don't know if it's a failure.

It's a Mel Brooks character that you dropped in a fucking Batman movie. I don't know exactly why you, I mean, like, I guess, yeah, if you had turned it into that kind of movie, I actually would have liked this a little bit more. If he had more drug-induced fucking Hayes of fucking Schmidtlapp. Put Franz Leapkin in here too. Sure, why not? The one thing we don't

understand is he has, you know, the word on the street is he has this great invention. He works for a whiskey distillery company. And that is what the invention is for, which is this dehydrating ray. Like, what is Schmidt Lap going to be doing with this? I know, I know exactly what it is. So he's a distiller, right? And I think the notion is it's a shipping thing. So it's either like, you're shrinking down a bunch of grain to ship that to your distilleries to make the booze or you're shipping down your carts, your crates of booze

down to a small level to save on shipping. I totally misread what you were saying, Andrew. I assumed he was going to go to like an very important like port and just threatened to dehydrate the entire place. That'd be like if you

shipping magnets don't pay me what I want, I will dehydrate this whole fucking thing and you won't be able to move your ships anywhere. you fucks. How about that? That's right. You're all drinking salt water right now. You're all dehydrated as fuck. It'd be awesome if he turned out to be a villain. It'd be so amazing. I mean, he's

money motivated. Later on, we get a line of like, it should be worth millions of Yankee dollars. Pip, pip. But so, like, they find out that his ship has been hijacked, so they get in the bat plane, which, by the way, a commercial It's just stored at a commercial airport Which I do love I love this notion

We got to fucking call some dude at the airport To get our top secret helicopter Ready to fly Like who's paying for the fucking You know, rental slip You know what I mean? All my question Enterprise is cutting this check

Bruce Wade Bruce Wade Well he's paying It's unrelated It's just a philanthropist He owns the airport I have to assume Bruce Wayne Just owns the airport That's not because you

You would have to be trained by the airport to be like you might get a call one day where the bat copter has to be brought out and you and like three other guys are going to have to go downstairs and bring out the back doctor I think there's a team on call 24-7 Chris that's in case he needs

his bat helicopter this is a world where Batman is like has been pushed so far into the Gotham City bloodline like he's infected every he is mayor I don't even know how you do this otherwise yeah welcome to G25 the Gotham City to Miami non-stub

Oh, wait, hold on. Yep, Batman's plane is on the... Nope, we're going to be hanging out of the tarmac here for a little while while Batman gets his bat ceptor going. He appears to be discussing something with Robin on the tarmac. It looks like they're debating whether or not they're actually going to get in the helicopter. And actually, the handle to the bathroom isn't working, so we're going to have you get off and we're going to get you a new plane.

We'll actually be taking off in seven hours after this. Yeah, we ran out of fuel on the tarmac while Batman has a car. conversation. But on your way out, make sure you salute our heroes on the tarmac. We are so lucky to have Batman and Robin in Gotham sit. We are so thankful they are officially deputized by the Gotham Police Department we are told later in this movie. We are so happy that they are going out to, what's that, save a billionaire inventor on his own personal yacht. Um, okay. Hang on a second. It's a good thing. Before we, before we have all this. be playing here. Don't want to make any false

starts here. It looks like, oh, yep, his elderly butler's coming out. Giving him something. Oh, it looks like Batman forgot the keys to the helicopter. That's what the delay was. We'll be taken off in about 20 minutes, folks. Oh, he's making I'm a loony thing with his hand now. Oh, I'm good.

I mean, this fucking helicopter has room for two men and their cocks, and that is it. Yeah, absolutely. That's the way it should be. Otherwise, it gets too rocky, you know? then you crash. I gotta say for a movie that is pretty much

just a television production crew making a feature length movie it's fucking awesome this movie has a lot of really fucking awesome like aerial shots, copter shots and stuff like that including this one where it's like you're just

watching this actual helicopter like take off and go and I'm just I'll say it now but it's later in the movie when they get in the bat boat which is also again hilariously just tied up on a public dock somewhere. They get in the bat boat and they go off into the water and the camera

was on a helicopter like the whole time and when the boat goes, the camera follows it out to sea and you're like going with them for a decent amount of time like out into the ocean pretty fucking cool for a movie like this. My question is it's called the Bat Copter. Is it

also the Bat engine and the bat brakes? Yeah. Is it? Absolutely. Or is it the whole thing like when does that stop? Because he has a bat ladder and that's what I was like with the label I was like I fucking love it I fucking love it Chris

it doesn't end you know it's like you gotta turn the bat key into the bat ignition in the bat copter gotta pay our bat taxes this year fuckers it's just it's a weird like in the lab of course in the back cave we see it all over

the place and I just had to thought like is he fucking Leonard from Memento like he's just gonna write down like a little note like okay this is a computer got it and this that's the bat bathroom over there okay

don't believe Joker don't believe his lies who the fuck is Dodd he just has every word with bat in front of it tattooed all over his body every single word you've ever thought of with bat in front of it okay Batman check your utility belt

get a pen write it down write it down write down what she just said oh don't before you lose it you just Batman with a fucking Polaroid Every taking pictures of crime scenes. Kit cut, is Catwoman, and she's like trying to figure it. She's trying to distract him.

Yes. Oh, man, Joe Pandliano. I'm going to come in here in a fucking ridiculous Russian accent and you're going to believe it, you dumb fucking moron because of your brain problems. The Schmidlap is penguin.

Shmidlap is penguin. Dude, that'd be awesome. Then the end of the movies, Batman just fucking shoots Alfred in the face and he's like, got another one from the rogue's gallery. Are you the butler? Are you the Joker? Maybe not, but you could be my Joker today.

Oh, yeah, there it is. But, yeah, so, like, he's, we're in the helicopter, yes, the Bat Ladder gets deployed. This is kind of a fun crazy stunt, even though, like, this movie doesn't deserve it. No, it's fun, but I'll tell you what, we're taking a sweet-ass time getting to this boat, though, dude. I'm like, come on, get down the ladder now, let's get. And it's just like, slow, careful, Robin, careful. that's kind of my complaint about the movie is there's a lot of moments that I feel

I could have been trimmed for brevity and it would have been smooth and fun then. Two freezes that kept on coming up. Pick it up and that's enough. Two kept on coming up. Those two kept on coming in my brain alternating throughout this movie. Although

this, I like this because of the big dumb shark is very funny. Oh, the shark is fantastic. It's been a little that and the bomb have been a little bit ruined by the internet, but it was still nice to see it in the wild like this. Yeah. The shark is fantastic and he's hitting it. And I mean, I guess

in this universe, there are, we don't have major arteries in our legs. No. You're going to lose that leg, Batman. You're losing that leg. Yeah. Those teeth are going right through that fucking spandex, dude. I don't know what to tell you. Actually, as a part of an ordinance with Gotham, we actually detathed all our sharks.

Those are just gummers. They just gum against you. It still puts a lot of pressure. Don't get me wrong. Not only do we have some deaths of this. We have some sea animal death. And I do love every time Batman and Robin have to like kind of feel bad about it, which is kind of great. Oh, my God. Yeah.

They're like brief seconds of remorse every time a soul leaves this earth in this movie is so funny. We're so sad that that shark ate that mine. Oh, God, we're so sad. The shark repellent bat spray drops the shark into the water. It explodes. We don't find out for like another 20 minutes that apparently. The villains, the rogues gallery, shoved TNT into the shark. Oh, yes.

Which like, primo timing, syncing this up, like lighting the TNT, shoving it in the shark's mouth. Yes. Getting lucky enough that it's like stomach acid doesn't put out the little spark, you know. And that Batman has this line that's nothing sacred to those devils. Yeah. But to your point, Eric, like, you're spending, you, after that happened, after the fucking shark hits the water and explodes. you are now stuck on what happened with the shark

and if they take way too long to explain it to you of what happened and you're just like come on just the right about a time I also love in this universe so penguin is not a low level fake Tony Soprano like he is

on the penguin show which we're doing on too old for this shit by the way on top tier Patreon subscribers will be knowing that which is a great show which we're enjoying but here you know it's the aristocratic penguin

but he's obsessed he takes too much on like catwoman's got all our cat stuff joker obviously jokes and riddler riddles it's he's got the entire sea and the entire air it's birds and all the creatures of the sea it's kind of a lot penguin's movie really he's the villain it definitely is as far as the villain as the villain stuff like penguin is the lead guy but yeah

this movie like his fascination with the sea is very strange and yeah I don't know I'm like you're not not fucking Aquaman, dude. Like, let's take it back a breath. So we go to a press conference where we're trying to alleviate some fears here. This is, I believe,

where we meet Ms. Kietka and Lee Meriwether as this Russian as a Russian journalist. From the Moscow bugle, we're told. Oh, God. The yacht disappeared, but that was an interesting shot, too, like of it just vanishing and then Batman being lowered

into water. Yes. Yeah. And he comes out of the shark. and it's kind of great we learned here Batman yes is fully bonded by the courts here like and we support Robin Robin it's not ACAB it's all cops

are great ACAC I think is where we're support the police he just they have Bert Ward just literally yelled support the police in the middle of a room that's filled with police officers they're all like yeah we know dude but I think it's also kind of hip you know what I mean like they're square for a reason

you know what I mean I don't think this movie is like so into authority. No, it's not. No, it's a joke. It can't be because like the two main fucking it's a dumbass and like his cowardly friend who runs the place. Like

Commissioner Gordig is just like such a wet towel in this. He's just like I love him. Batman, can you help us? I love this though because Miss Kitka's like, oh Batman, will you remove mask for better picture? And both Commissioner Gordon and fucking

Chief O'Hara You get the fuck out of here You rotten fucking commie bitch What did you just say to our Batman? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so insulted by it. Chief O'Hara is the dumbest person in the universe. I love him.

Yes. I love the part where we're kind of we're piecing together that each one, everything in this crime points to all these great criminals. Hey, I love that they're, uh, Gordon is like, give me a list of all super criminals

currently out. There should not be a list. It should be one. You know what I mean? Like, if you're a super criminal and the police are aware that you are a super criminal, that's life in prison. You're not out walking around as a known super criminal. And they're watching this on closed circuit TV and it's just like, oh my God, the Ridler too, evidently. Yeah, that's a great one because he doesn't know. He's like, well, when the fuck did this happen? Nobody tells me anything.

Jesus Christ. The pictures they have of them, they're all in front of this curtain. Like they're about to be on the Carson show. Did anyone else notice that? Yes, yes. Right before he gets a call to go out and do the panel, dude, when the curtain comes back. Forget that they should all be in jail. That's absolutely true.

Not one, but four of them are not. You should be able to remember all the super criminals that are out and about in your world. You should be able to figure that out. I mean, Chief O'Hara, I'm surprised. the minute he found out that lady was from Russia, I'm surprised he didn't shoot her. He's just this, like, a complete dunderhead. And like,

I got it. But they're all piecing together like, oh, C, and C is for Catwoman, which is a hilarious thing. And like, what a, what a twisted joke. Jokes, jokers. And then, uh, the shark was pulling my leg. Like a joke. The Joker. And he's like, oh, and Gio Hara goes,

it all adds up to a red, a terrible ridder. Ritter. Which is the favorite. Yeah, yeah. That's the joy and the genius of this movie. Everyone is doing it with a straight face. Everyone knows what's up, but it's just this ability to get to this inanity

without giving up the ghost. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, it's great. And it's also like they deliver these kind of gags like really fast. We were at sea, see for cat. Like they really kind of go through it. Because I feel like they know, if you drag a joke like that out too long, it's not really going to work. So we cut to the ye old Benbow Tavern.

And I love Miss Kitko walks in here. And it's just a huge bar fight going on. Like a bar-wide brawl is happening, having nothing to do with any of the supervillains. Not only the movie Airplayed for sure. Ah, yeah. Oh, right. Big vibes of that, yeah. And this hideout, the United Underworld headquarters.

A, I want that big poster That could look good right back over there maybe I think so too I don't know I think you would be called Antisemitic if you have that out Yeah I think you might be in trouble If you have that sucker out

Right because that's a Nazi slogan right The octopus The octopus specifically that the image is not good Today Gotham City tomorrow the world Yeah yes yes I believe that was some sort of Nazi slogan That sounds right I love the pirate

who sees Kitka walking in and just goes, in a very like 1960s guy, boys like, oh, good morning, catwoman, and she fucking slaps them across the face. Which says, don't use my real name. It's just fucking hilarious. Yeah, my real name, my given name,

my Christian name, Catwoman. Catherine Woman. Which is also great because we don't do origins for anybody. We don't do... No, thank God. I don't know. Nobody has another name. Aside from, obviously, Batman and Robin,

And all these criminals, he's the penguin, he's the Joker, he's the Riddler, that's it. Right. No Ednaigma, you know, no one's a malcontented fucking inventor. They're just fucking lunatics. We don't get to, there's never an Oswald Cobble Pot on this show. It's not in the movie. Yeah, I don't know about the show. I can't say one or another.

They go with Oswald. But it's so great. And we're basically, we're lamenting. The problem is, yes, I think there are too many, the crooks can go on too many adventures. There's like, we could have one less, and we're in a 90-minute world, and that's probably better. It starts to feel like four episodes of the TV show, stitch together. Sure. It is, because that's all it is.

And also, the inter-criminal bickering becomes a bit much after a while of slap fighting with one another over my super-criminal pride in all this nonsense. I'm like, that's enough of it. I'll, the one exception I'll make for things that go along in this movie, I'll watch the four of them fucking snip at each other all day. I think it's really, right, because Catwoman comes in, sees them sniping at each other. It's like, United Underworld, yes, United is the United Nations. Ooh, Slam.

Still relevant today. And what are you right for the New Yorker? We realize that that's going to be their plan eventually, but first we have to get this Batman out of the way. We can't make our move unless Batman's out of the way. Right. And so they have this whole plan to get him to come to the boat, I think, is the idea. They have kidnapped Commodore Schmidlap here.

And they're keeping him convinced that, like, they're just, like, stuck at sea somewhere. I love the dude. There's a pirate thug who has to, like, just sit outside this fake room, moving a painting of the horizon at sea, making, like, ooh, kind of noises into a port. Yeah, so he thinks he's at sea, thinks he's on his boat still. And they have the Joker of all people Bring him tea when he rings for it Like you'd think you'd have one of the Henchmen that you can't recognize

But anyway, so this Commodore is like Oh, you've got a ghastly visage Are you getting enough of the sea air? Oh, right. Yeah, you look like shit. It's like my duties keep me below decks mostly, sir. The way, again, fucking Romero just delivers the stuff I can't, I can't handle it. It's so funny.

Should point out right here, I love that what they do here, anytime you're in this hideout the entire thing is filmed in Dutch angles. Every single fucking shot in this hideout is a Dutch angle I think until they have the big fight in there at the end but that might actually but like at least during this part

it's all fucking crooked and I love it because one it adds to the zaniness of the minds of the villains that you're watching but also you're on a boat and you're on a boat a fake boat you know and it's like it looks like they're like at sea

and like there is a boat kind of turn this way in that because they're all at angles. The next movement is there's a buoy, a sea that they use to project the holographic cruise ship to get Batman. They have to get rid of it, so they have to go into penguins

submarine. We get to see the bat boat for the first time, which is a lot of fun. The bat boat, like you said, is just hanging out on a dock. We also later... We later see the bat cycle just obscured by reeds on the side of the highway. Shut some branches. It's that scene where they get the bat bike.

They've been had by the penguin and they just happen to be dropped off exactly where the bat bike is stored under a pile of leaves or whatever. They Marty McClide this thing. That's, and the fucking bat boat, my favorite part of the bat boat, they have the flame decal. They kept the flame decal on the side. Of course, they did that. Well, it looks pretty sharp.

It looks pretty sharp. It'll be bad. Do you think Bruce Wayne shows up and, like, peels off the bat decal on the weekends and takes the thing out? Oh, Alfred, when you're done trimming all those trees outside of the front yard at Wayne Manor, go back to where we put the bat bike and just cover it and suck of those, will you? Batman, just with the cowl on with a fucking, a six-pack in the cooler, blaring Ted Nugent strangle hole down the fucking river, just doing the head motion the whole time. Yeah, you try something, Riddler. I'm going to get you at. There's a long

sequence where we do see the submarine, which is a lot of fun. They realize they have Batman, so they magnetize him and robin to the buoy. It's going to get, they're showing torpedoes. Batman is using his

bat whatever to deflect the torpedoes, but confounded it's out of batteries. Dude, the batteries are dead. It's very funny. And there was a mirrolet. projector inside the buoy that boat never existed and that's how it disappeared.

Yes, it's pretty great. And L.O.L. you're another more sea animal a purpose. A noble porpoise took a bullet for Batman, not unlike the plane in Air Force One that takes a missile for Air Force One.

I want to see it. You do kind of want to see it. Well, at this point, I want Aquaman to come up and be like, what the fuck? twice it was it was that noble animal it was noble of that animal to hurl himself in front of the path of that torpest that honorable porpoise he gave our life gave his life for hours and it's like Adam west is like crying in that shot yes oh yeah it's so ridiculous there's a great line that Batman has right when the the the magnet gets activated by the penguin and they're stuck to the buoy he just goes oh no it's got us by the metallic objects on our belts. Like, it's definitely a he's got us by the balls joke.

It's just so funny to, like, have it look like they've been, they're done for, it explodes, and then you cut to them just driving the boat, talking about this porpo has killed itself. It's just too bad. It's just, you know what? It's a real, it's a sad day. It's a sad day today.

It's so funny. We get the first line here, the Riddler mentioned something. Like, when the fuck-ups happen, the Riddler's like, see, Penguin? That's why you don't buy submarines on fucking X, you know, end of war army wholesale shit. I'm like I want the scene. Like someone

has to be like, oh, hey penguin, how did you get your hands on this boat? And you cut to like whatever auction this is and like, Penguin's just on the phone because the guy that he calls later from the Navy is like, oh, I never met the guy, but his post office box that he has. Dude, it's so funny. The Navy

just selling a submarine to someone. All they did was give the name P.N. Gwyn, Pandwin, and a P.O. Box. And,

Batman dresses this dude down. Disposing of pre-atomic submarines to persons who don't even leave their full addresses. So funny. In my defense, we did this through the mafia. I didn't do it.

We were working directly with them and they did all the stuff. They were the ones who should have gotten that. That's not my thing. The Navy guy's like, well, your tone sounds grim. We haven't done anything foolish. chef. Yeah, that's right.

Now that you're ass to asshole. It is kind of awesome because when Batman's like, better call the Pentagon. And when we cut to this Navy guy's office at the Pentagon, he's like playing a board game with a secretary. And I just love that.

Again, it's a really funny thing. Like, it's a funny criticism to weigh in this like 1966 pseudo children's movie where it's like, here's this big guy at the Pentagon and he's fucking around playing board games in the middle of the afternoon. The military is a bunch of fucking jokers. The goddamn police needs Batman to fucking pitch for them.

Like, it's just disgusting. Like, to allow him this kind of rain. It's amazing. The next moment is the villains. Ridler comes up with a plan, which, again, I love this monologue where he's going to have Kitka come on to any billionaire. Ooh, who's a good one? Bruce Wayne. Of course.

And they'll both get kidnapped. That'll send Batman. running here where he will stand he'll stand on a platform which will, you guessed it, catapult him into the sea, into the waiting arms of the penguins exploding octopus, which I

need to see that exploding octopus. Yeah, fuck you, dude. If Ed Wood could fake an octopus as shitty as that looked, you can fucking fake it. We do get a henchman later in the movie gets launched by this thing and you see a doll, not a dummy, a doll up to the sea.

Dude, it is someone throws a G. I. Joe action figure into a fucking fish tank and then they blow it. But you should throw, you know, get some leftover Greek food in there. Let me show some octopus tentacles along with it. Well, the explosion, I was wondering, like, do, does the penguin just put minds in everybody, everything, everybody he works for just in case? Like, so you can just activate it whenever you're a nigga Batman. Oh, no, no, he falls into the exploding octopus. What the penguin is doing in between scenes is just cutting up sea animals and planting fucking dynamite in their anusish

wha-wha-wha-wha-wha never did I think that my veterinary degree would pay off can we get Colin Farrell to do just one by the end of the season? I would love that. Why? Oh, what are you showing me? That's like I imagine like, Christine Malai said something like, come on, do it for me.

Come on, do it for me. I heard that you did it for my brother once. Come on, do it for me. and then black. Just boom, right to credits. That's it. Do it for me or I'll cut your fucking head off. But so, yeah, so this is, Kitka goes to Wayne Manor. This, this outfit, these 60s, the, this is the only time we get, like, full-on 60s bra, like, oh, yeah, this, they sold them like that before some kid poked his eyes out.

Yeah, some real, like, Madonna, pointy-ass bra shit in this, uh, this outfit here. great. I love that she's like, like she starts in with the flattering on Bruce Wayne. It's like, oh yes, you are so popular and well known in Russia. Russia talks about Bruce Wayne all the time. Matter of fact, I bet

Russia's talking about Bruce Wayne right now. Like, really fucking buttering him up. And just some great lines here from LeBerry, whether something about the Riddlers like, oh, that the bourgeois criminal riddler who he vexies the working man of Gotham, which

I love that she calls That Cossack Batman The masked Cossack is so good The masked Cossack Yeah And basically We're going to go on a date And

We really Adam West says Batman And Bruce Wayne at the same time Listen I'm going to take her on a date You Alford He goes he asks Alfred Which is a great question Alfred you still have your driver's license

And the funny thing is like Right here in my suit jacket pockets And I've been waiting for this day to get behind the wheel for years. By now they know that. Oh, yes, I do. It was thrown out. Don't worry. The court looked at it. They threw it right out. I'm fine. I can totally drive again.

By now they know that they're all working together, right? Because there was more of the skywriting clues and these are really good. What does a turkey do when he flies upside down? Gobbles up. Gobbles up. What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree and is very dangerous.

A sparrow with a machine gun. Right. Okay. Very witty. Yes. Yes. So that means, somehow they think that means like, oh, what kind of creature would gobble up a bird in a tree, a cat, cat woman. It was like a clue that cat woman's involved. I just want to see the guy who has to do the fucking sky. Do you want me to do the fucking punctuation? Do you know how much this expensiveness is, man? Listen, like you see skywriting shit all the time. It's like, Lisa, will you marry me? Fuck Trump. gary's fucking gas station 1099 oil chains like whatever this is like a constructed bit of prose like it's like four sentences long what do you know the letters are like huge like if you want me to get this i'm not sure if it's going to fit in the guys eye view i really don't uh so we're going to go on a date batman or robin and alfred alfred this happens a couple times Alfred's just going to wear a mask this it's so and we got to say this is one of the the oldest alfreds we've ever seen like the idea of this man is dusting anything is a crime against no he is he is he is dust i mean i we looked it up before he went on the air but i was genuinely surprised that this man wasn't old enough to have felt the direct aftermath of the civil war like he's so fucking old and then you look at his eye with me he was only 63 years old

make i've never seen dust dust dust before you got to fucking drink water kids, you just have to, you can't be 63 years old looking like father time? Oh my God. He couldn't have been older than Michael, a gal when he was doing. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I was fucking old as hell. Yeah, it's a really good point. But he

looks older, I guess. Frayal er. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, maybe it was just he had some water by then. Michael Goh, born in 1916, so this dude is older. Right, but he filmed. We're not filmed it.

right 88 probably 60s both in their early 60s I guess Steve you're trying to say that you could kick this Alfred's ass but Go could kick your ass Yes exactly Michael Goh was 73-ish making that

all right so yeah we're driving around this movie gets a little sleepy around here this is so fucking funny though he's like listen I'm going to take her on a date and you're going to drive behind us and make sure nothing goes baddy. And like

he's Bruce Wayne. He's got a fucking Jay Leno-sized car museum at his house. And these two idiots take the Batmobile around to follow him. Come on. That's true. He's driving it on like quiet mode too, which is very funny. No fucking rockets

or anything like that. It's just like you're listening to like the little tiny hum of a Prius follow you down the street. An American billionaire takes a Russian a news reporter to a restaurant where you like sit down around the table on the floor it looks like and dance and you're the only ones who are dancing to French like it's almost like like there's like no music behind it almost like it's very little minimal music and she's just

hitting like these big notes and like this is weird to begin with what what what it's an odd club yeah it's a odd set this set is very funny though because it's cheap as shit and it looks like your friends' parents like a done over basement where you would hang out in high school. Like there's just carpeting on the floor on this place. A bunch of people just like casually laying around. I was like, oh shit man, when's someone

going to fucking put the Nintendo on? Like it seems like a sex club if it's anything because it can't like people not sitting there like sitting on the floor. That's a little a little bit my friend. Little it's a little bit. Miss Kitka, I'm going to take you to our finest opium den. Gotham Opium. It's a wonderful new place. I do like, yeah, he's not wrong.

Bruce Wayne calling the Iron Curtain stupid. We're doing a horse and buggy ride around the park. We check it with Commissioner Gordon. I think at this point, Robin is like, you know what? I feel a little uncomfortable. We're listening in. He gets a little bashful about Bruce. Do your job, Robin.

God damn it. Because Bruce, they start kissing and Robin turns it off, even though they were supposed to watch this. And Alfred is like, do you think that would, would it be more prudent to keep watching this date? And I saw on the IMDB trivia, the Tribune trivia says that this scene made some online text take the dialogue as to hint that Alfred is a voyer.

Ooh, I'd buy it. I mean, maybe. I think he's just doing his job. He's telling him. He's doing it. Oh, he's been watching Master Bruce since he was a young boy. Oh, another bat shower? He's seen so many naughty things.

Everybody else would think is very naughty and risky. He drills a little hole in the shower for a little people. Oh, yeah, now we're talking. He gets an Ann Harriet's outfit and starts fucking stabbing people. Takes a priceless multi-trillion dollar painting off the wall to look at the little hole in the grill. if Bruce Wayne when Bruce Wayne is done with this when they get back home and it's all settled

you have to not allow him to be Robin for like three weeks for a blunder like that that is like that is so first line shit just like did I ever tell you to look away when my dick is out did I ever say that no I did not I told you to keep watching when my dick is out I didn't take it out not to be watched

I mean I've seen your eyes they do that pole thing where apparently all you do is switch a lever and you're automatically dressed in your bad outfit, they've seen each other's cocks and assholes. Please. Absolutely. So let's go over the, how does that work? You slide down the pole.

Is there like a robot ripping off your clothing? I guess so. Something like that. It would seem like and then like somehow like there's just like a big thing of the pants that you kind of fall into. Right. It's like a son. You fall into a onesie. Yeah. It's like putting on a sock, like your whole body is the foot.

Oh. Yeah. I love, I don't know why that disgusted me. much, but it did. It's right, Eric. We're in the back carriage and like, you know, she's... The bat carriage? The back of the carriage? Oh, back of the...

I thought he said the bat carriage. I was like, that is not a licensed Batman vehicles. But they do have one. But they do have a bad carriage as Bruce Wade. Oh, I, you know, I accidentally hailed the bat carriage. Oh, it just goes around Central Park all the time. We also, we find out that there's a Benedict Arnold monument. I've been trying to fucking squeeze that in.

Yes. Robbins's like, oh, commission recorded. We're passing by the Benedict Arnold. Monument. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with? This takes place in a different, like an alternate reality where, you know, royalist, loyalist, Benedict Arnold, they won the war. We're still part, we're like an former English commonwealth. We have universal health care. It's great. Wow. It's wonderful. I was, I was hoping there was just a plaque that says he wasn't so bad. And that, that's all it is. That was my hope. But I also like, considering what they've allowed Batman to do in the city, I wouldn't be

surprised if that was true Eric I wouldn't be surprised at all I love so she's like close your eyes and tell me your fantasy and he's just like oh it's us it's a dream of us together in this room and like it kind of gets it gets she's like doing Morse code and tell the villains

whatever but like if you're listening to what Bruce Wade is saying it's like oh it's coming into its climaxes oh it's too soon no far too soon dude it's it's way more straightforward than Jesus my dream is about to climax

to which she says, no, no, not yet. Oh, my God. What are you doing? Hold it back. Hold it back for me, Bruce. Hold it back. You know, you have to do that thing

where you move that muscle and it cuts it off. You know what I'm talking about. I don't know name for it, but you boys know what I'm talking about. You move muscle and it stops. It cuts it off. My brother talk about it.

It's pelvis move inward, he said. Pelvis go suck inward. Yes, relax. Don't do it. then you want to come. Oh, so this is also a ruse to kidnap Bruce Wayne. Yes. All the villains are going to try to kidnap Bruce Wayne.

So then we see Joker, Penguin, and Ridler all flying on umbrellas. Oh, yes, the Jetpack umbrellas, dude. Penguin and Joker both make motions kind of referencing the Wicked Witch of the West, which is amazing. Nice. And I, this. fucking this again like i'm never going to get over the way that the batman has taken batman has taken over all these fucking things because you know if you had like any kind of security

any kind of air force that was going on around gotham city they'd be like oh my god we are sending fighter jets to blow these fucking things out of the air oh my god what the fuck is that no but first they have to check with batman and he's not available right now there's a great moment kind of around here he's still like it's right when they're about to be kidnapped and they're still like kind of doing sexy talk or whatever and she just says to him very muchum priatna Mr. Wayne and like it's supposed to be like this sexy like oh what did she just say and I just think it's very funny because oh chum priatla just means like nice to meet you like very nice to meet you but but she said it's sexy oh yeah so they're taking

a little sexy they're taking hostage kind of tied up in the bed you know she's still in disguise as the as this Russian honey pots and Bruce Wayne is like there's a tiny bat transmit i mean tiny transmitter in my sleeve why don't you wiggle and try to reach it and riddler's watching because he's also a voyeur and he's like let's go in and get them and let's stop this and uh ridler they rush in it's like oh you think you're pretty clever and bruce wayne's come back clever enough to outwit you you stupid thug yes stupid thug and i there is it's a great adam west delivers like if you harm one hair on her head i'll bash you brutally yeah seems very serious i love adam west as batman fucking i love adam a handsome is the day is long cannot say enough yeah oh yeah

this is not like i mean i like you know shatner was good looking back in the day i just feel like adam west hasn't smoked uh bat i i like i love adam west as badman and i like robert patinson is got like the build of an adam west yeah I swear by heaven If you've harmed that girl I'll kill you all Which is great Like he's just like I'm gonna fucking mass murder everybody in this room

This child's Batman movie We're going to hell tonight It's so good By the way very funny cutaway Right before this but it doesn't matter When they're having the back and forth Robin and Alfred About like should we peep To peep or not to pee or whatever

Robin's like all right all right I'll just take one tiny look and he turns it back on and the place has been turned over there's been the big fight and he's, then he looks up as they're flying away and he just goes, holy Halloween! Yeah, holy fucking unemployed. Jason Todd's got your job now, dude.

Yep, absolutely. Fired by text. I don't, the most, whatever the worst one is, I don't care. Text email, I don't care. But Batman or Bruce Wayne gets out of his chains and like beats the shit out of everybody and escapes.

And no one's like, anybody think that guy might be Batman? Like, wow, when that guy was kicking our ass, it felt an awful lot like Batman was kicking our ass. No, couldn't be. They do have a line. So someone is like, it's so funny that they can't put it together.

Even before the fight, they're just like, geez, it's so weird. Batman should have been here hours ago. And in this, in this commotion, this is when the pirate guy goes flying. we wind up Batman and Robin come back to this area to find the criminals

and find Ms. Kitka this is when they leave the bomb and the bomb sequence is Oh my God. The coup it's the piece there is just starts the whole film. It's so well it's my favorite part It's great before we get through it though the important

it's just a plot thing right before that is when they're doing he does The Penguin says get me the five guinea pigs this is where they take out the dehydrator and it's kind of great because he makes all of five of them into like little piles of salt and minerals or whatever

and the Joker or the Ridler and Penguin are like getting down on the ground like observing it and they just look like two like total fucking coke heads that are out of their mind just like you want to fucking snort all these piles let's fucking do it they're getting way too close one of these breaths

and this guy's not going to have a toenail anymore why don't we snort number five oh that's a primo shit but yes we're scaling the boathouse and we get in there there's a good line here about how it's a quote unquote low neighborhood

filled with rum pots who are used to unusual sights because of alcohol vision there's this whole hilarious this fucking anti-drinking bent right here. And I was like, every single person that worked on this movie was drunk the entire time they were doing it. Don't try to fool me. Bert Ward says, I'd rather be dead than not be able to trust my own eyes.

Okay. Take it easy, Robin. He's got a bomb. And it is kind of great because later on Robin is like, wow, why didn't you just let that place explode? Even those people have a right to live or whatever. They might be drinkers, Robin, but they're human being. Yes. Yep.

Well, I disagree. I think they should have died. But when he's got this bomb and he's running around trying to find a place to dispose of it, you've probably seen this on the internet a thousand times, but it's so funny because I forgot how long it goes on for. Yes. And this is a nuns, baby carriage, a marching band that keeps follow, and they, all of these things keep following him where he goes.

He goes to the da, he's in front of the bar, A, the bar, great. great old 60s fat joke these two overweight ladies eating these crabs? Yes, over and over while everyone escape runs away. Flea for your lives, into the streets. Well, I'm taking the bomb, by the way. I'll be right behind you.

And he keeps trying to find, I love that he can't throw it in front of little ducks is really great as well. The ducklings are great. And that that prompts him to go, some days you just can't get rid of a bomb. And then there's like, like lovers in a boat, he almost throws it on. But eventually it does go off.

It looks like maybe he's killed with it, but don't worry, he's not. Yes. I love the marching band that he keeps running into. Like repeatedly playing, bringing in the sheaves or whatever. And then he's like, it's all right, Robin.

He comes up out of, you know, the corner of the screen or whatever. And Robin has a great line here. I wish he used this one more. Holy heart failure. It's what he actually is. said during the eulogy at Adam West's funeral. Everybody thought it was in poor taste there, too.

Yeah, it was a sad story. Well, this is Bert Ward's second appearance on the show. If we remember, he was also in Kill Crazy. That's right. Kill crazy. Oh, my God. Wow, dude. Old episode, a movie with Bruce Glover.

It is quite something recently came out on Blu-ray. I bought it. I haven't watched the transfer, though. Wow. Blue-ray. Holy crap. Can you believe it? The future is now.

It's all happening. The movie was kind of fun of her. remember properly. It's Vietnam veterans hunting human beings for sport. That sounds right. Yeah. So here we have penguin is now dressed as the Commodore and now we have a, this, now we're into the next episode of the show. Exactly. Next week on Batman. And it's just basically, he's going to, he's pretending to the Commodore. He knows that they're going to send him back to the Batcave for a retinal scan. Even though just like, no, just arrest him. He's a fucking penguin. He's got the nose. He's going wha, wah, wah, wah. They have a that fingerprint scanner there, but, oh, the Commodore has plastic-coated fingertips for some reason.

Oh, it was a doctor did it or whatever. Yeah. The place we found him in was full of all these old books on all these things, and there was this long passage about him vomiting on a guy in a subway. You're lucky it's not the actual 1960s police because they just beat you with fucking phone books you try this shit. You know what the fuck? It's wrong with you.

Here you get, they just say this brassy bird has us buffalo so then they he, the penguin suggests the retinal scan test in the bat cave I think. Why not take me there and then when they gas him and they drive him there, it's so fun.

Of course we have to knock you out so you don't see the entrance to the bat cave. That's something that when it was like both him and the fucking the fab four over there are fucking drug people everywhere.

Before this happens, they're like, we have to get our dream pill into Schmidt lap before I take over his identity. But I would love to know, like, just the, I would like get a chemist on this. What is the difference in property between penguin gas, which knocks you out? And bat gas, which knocks you out.

Same stuff. Same stuff. It's just a whole just one thing. A different odor. Maybe the bat one smells a little more moldy, like a cherry blue raspberry, I bet. One of them's got to give you. your headache. You know what I mean? Both problems.

Yes, well, that's what I think it is. The penguin one you wake up, like, Hangover City. The Batman one, you wake up, and you kind of just have this inexplicable erection for like three hours. Robin, it's time for your gas. Oh, no, Bruce.

My ward, my beautiful, beautiful ward. If he got a bowdoin those things, he would be fucking finished. Oh, yeah. Those little shorts? You've got to... You can't. well it's also right burnt ward famously hung like a horse is that right so he said at least the photo he had he had a he had a tell-all book i read he was on conan o'brien about it about like all the sex we were having in the 60s oh yeah i just have a lot of sex in the 60s

i totally buy it oh no of course yeah i mean good for him good looking dude at the time before he turned into a hedgehog you know and i say this is a man that has always has always been a hedgehog unfortunately you know i never had a bert ward phase i never had a robin phase bert ward uh still with us showed up at the hollywood walk of fame dedication ceremony for the batman star wow and it was really sad man because it was fucking bert ward just in a nice suit looking pretty okay smiling happy as let me and then some dude just dressed like bad man that's you know it's kind of almost humiliating at the same time but let me stop some tweets because i'm sure he's dead by now we're recording this a little early

About a month early, so we'll see. No, he's alive. I do, but for that fucking walk-of-fame, Christian Bell's that busy, come on. Like, someone needs to fucking twist a knife, be like, it's Batman, you fuck. You old, you creepy British fuck, show up.

I love the penguin. First of all, he wakes up in the Batcave to a quacks. He quacks when he wakes up, which is, that's a talent. But they're like, okay, you just have to, you know, hang out here, we're going to figure this all out, we'll do the retina scan or whatever, and he's like, oh, do you mind if I get or he asks Batman for a glass

of water, and Batman's like, right over there, it's the bat watering cooler. And I love this moment because the penguin goes behind this like countertop. He's blocked off by like a counter and the water tank, and he takes out all these, the test

tubes with all the salt remains of the people, right? It looks like he's about to cheat on a drug test. Yes. Like he's behind the, yeah, let me just pissing this cup behind this wall. And he takes out like all these fucking cylinders. Like, yeah, this is some clean piss. That's only a week old. Perfect.

That's what the test should be. Not retinal scan. It's a piss test. I've got some of the combinator's piss on file. I guarantee you the penguin nor Burgess Meredith would pass a piss test. No. No. Mr. Meredith, you've urinated straight rye.

Well, because he apparently very famously would tell. the old Batman show like always have my suit ready if I'm in town I'd love to do an episode so basically like he would just show up like fucking zooted out of his where's my penguin suit I gotta get yeah that's hilarious

come on come on this showed him William Dozier's house at three of the morning Bill we're going tomorrow Bill and make sure you can pay me right after I'm done once I'm walking off the shit I need my money you know when he said that about like keep my suit ready whenever i'm in town we want to do one

we just thought he was really excited about playing the penguin and we were like yeah of course it was it was the rap party after the first episode everybody who just was drunk and now he's holding us to it oh fuck here he comes here he comes oh and that's not the penguin waddle that's the fucking drunk burgess meredith waddle great it's my daughter's birthday burgess i don't give a shit the peggy what's the fuck how much does a penguin gig pay these days I just came back from the UK and the ponies wiped me out

I do there's a great penguin Burgess Meredith's line and when A hilariously when they're they're looking at the dust of all the guys and someone I think it's like Catwoman get a get a broom obviously catwoman has to get the broom

and put these guys up and as she's doing it he goes careful careful every one of them has a mother yes it's a weird fucking line right i love that line yeah but they all get rehydrated into gp number one this is giddy pig number one two three four and five love excellent uh and you know i mean also like i've seen batman around beat up five guys before a penguin i don't this isn't the master stroke you think it no definitely not also rehydrate a fucking pistol how about that What's the benefit of it is that you can now transport many more bad guys. And what he does is transport five bad guys, which you would do anyway.

Exactly. Well, I think those are the five bad guys, dude. Because the other three dudes need to be around to operate the fucking submarine for the rest of the movies. These are the guinea pigs. These are the five dudes that I can spare for this experiment. And honestly, thank goodness it is only five dudes because the penguin fucks this up. he uses this like irradiated water or whatever to to rehydrate them and at the exact moment all these dudes take like their first punch they all pop like balloons and man it's gruesome i love it

is insane so it's like oh the water from our nuclear experiments robin of course oh by the way my teeth are falling out yeah totally he goes uh it instantly reduced them to anti matter and then this is an amazing bert ward like robin has to be sad about this and he's also playing it like a real dumb kid instead of like the teenager that he is or whatever he just goes you mean they won't be coming back yeah no because we use you robin they were trying to kill you no no we won't be able to do that because we use the dupont water for them and we yeah yeah exactly we messed up there that was a problem on our part mark ruffalo's trying to clear all that up for us going through all that paperwork but until then we used the wrong dupont water

They knew, and they didn't even tell Batman. The people in Pittsburgh are popping like balloons. And then what happens here? They just gas, the penguin again and take him to town. But then they wake him up on the way and he steals the Batmobile. They want him to steal the Batmobile. So that was the idea. That popp his fool played right into our hands.

I wanted to be gassed and left on the side of the road, actually. And we'll track it. We'll track the Bambon. to the gang's new hideout. And the bike is right there. The bike just happens to be right there. We'll take the bike to the air, the copter. I feel like at some point,

Batman mess up. Alfred, I'm going to need you to comb highway 59. I have no fucking clue where I parked that thing. Oh, on it, sir. I just spent an hour. I saw a bunch of leaves. I thought it was there. It's not there.

Alfred, Alfred, we found it. We found it. But I need you to get to the clock tower with the kite. and I need you to get the electric cord up there. We need you to be ready here, buddy, because we're getting ready to go. So we get in the copter to see where the Batmobile is going. Meanwhile, this is the big siege on the United Nations building.

Right. But real quick, Steve, the Batmobile right now, as of now, is heading up Gotham River Drive. Oh, yes. I like that. I was like, ooh, just blocks away from me is the Harlem River Drive. That's pretty cool. And, but when he steals it, Burgess Meredith, away I go in my Birdmobile.

Oh, yeah, he's rebranded it immediately. Love that. Absolutely. It's crazy, too, to think about Burgess Meredith drives the Batmobile in this movie. And then technically, Danny DeVito Penguin drives the Batmobile in Batman Returns, albeit it's from his little toy weird arcade machine thing that he's inside of. So, yes, we're going to, we invade. the United Nations building, really cool.

I like the flying umbrella here with the gas that knocks all the guys out, kind of cool. Yeah, no, these are all great. I was just so surprised to see them enter this room where all these world leaders are discussing things. And they, you know, they won't listen to each other. It's such a weird thing that they have here. All the different head leaders are just talking to each other.

And nobody's listening. They're just letting each other talk over one another. It's great commentary on society then and now. I like how almost everyone is dressed like Omar Gaddafi. Every single one of them has Gaddafi-esque medals on their jacket. I guess that's how the world used to be. Oh, by the way,

the Riddler shoots a missile at the fat copter and it's hold tight, Robin, and they crashed into a foam rubber wholesales convention. That's so fucking funny. A big sign of this foam rubber. It's crude for. It's a fucking luteudeude, man.

And I mean, like, I'm just curious. I mean, I'm curious what younger people think of this movie. Not that I'm the oldest person in the world, but like just, and not that camp doesn't exist anymore, but I just, I'm curious like how this movie plays to a younger audience. You have to,

here's the thing. You have to set them up for, look, this is intentionally a comedy. Yeah, right. Because you, like, if you go into it with like, this is Batman,

like I've always seen Batman. Yes, yeah. And, you know, the, of the vast majority of Batman motion picture properties and television properties are dark as shit, you go into this and it's like this technicolor

candy colored nightmare and everybody's making jokes and it's gooftacular as fuck. I feel like if you don't preface that for people, like set them up for it, they're going to instantly, instantly dismiss this and throw. I mean, it depends. Cheesy or corny. Right. If young people have already

seen the Joel Schumacher ones and maybe how they feel about those would inform you how they would feel about this. It all depends on what they saw first. If they do, if they're like Steve, and this is the first one they get, maybe they have a whole different understanding of what Batman is from the beginning. Like they just... True and fair, but I just think in 2024, a young person's first exposure to Batman,

the odds that it's this and the show are great. You just don't, you must not listen to traditionalist Batmanists. They are very serious about this stuff. They make sure the 66 is the first one out. I think they do the TV series first, to be fair. and then they move on to the movie. Well, you play it in order. Dude, you play season one of this show.

Then you watch the movie, then seasons two and three. Actually, someone I used to work with, they played this all for their son, who's probably now like 22. So they seem to enjoy it and bond over it. So I'm sure there's some younger people out there that do enjoy this. But too, yeah. Two more riddle, Steve. Two more really, yes.

What's the egg? What goes up, white and comes down yellow and white, an egg. And how do you divide 17 apples among 16 people? Make applesauce. And what does that mean? Oh, one smooth mixture, a unification, and a container of hope. Why, it's the United World Organization. I don't know how you get this.

It's the NWO. What goes up white, goes that yellow and white. It's my piss and come together. Because my vast deframs are clearly broken. Piss and come together. The U.N. It's got to be the U.N. And how do you divide 17 apples amongst 16 people? Why, I eat the apples and I shit them out and they eat that.

Holy human centipede, Batman. Ah, that's right, match man. You and your boy wonder are going to be put into deep. to Lacea's new human super peed. Yes. Oh, that's wonderful, Tom. Oh, my God. When you had the cum and the riddle about the cum and the piss,

genius stroke, Tom, thank you. Another cinematic achievement. What I love about the movie is that you both, you critique, you critique the superhero movies, but you also, we know that you love them. Clearly you love them when they're shitting in each other's mouths like that. We just know it from the heart of it all. Here's the thing.

there's one movie to see in the theaters this year and it's human batipede I'm sorry chum all this chili is making its way through me who-o-o-o-woo-woo-bo-wo

piss-and-com lived on Archer Avenue wow Robin now that I now that I've solved that riddle about my piss and com I've realized I need to get to the bat doctor immediately.

There's something clearly wrong with my vast deference. All right, Commissioner, I came back from the doctor. I'm not going to be able to be Batman

for about two months. There's a serious surgery that has to happen. Two months if I'm lucky. I have what they call Piss comitis and I just need to get that cleared up before this is,

this could become a thing. Do you know what to fool around with it? But I do have this bat dildo. Batman or robin or too late. They do, you know, let's, let's hail a cab. No, we're in top typical, top physical shape. Let's run it, you know. This shot is amazing, too.

He's like, we're going to run to the United Nations. And it cuts to two stunt doubles in a Batman and Robin costume running into a crowded city street. And all these like real people on the street are like, holy fuck, it's Batman and Robin. Like those poor stunt guys just be thrown out to the wool. like that. If it's anything like New York, man, oh man, they're running forever because that place is in the middle of fucking nowhere

of the United Nations. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Dude, not a fucking train to be found anywhere near it. So you want, they, they wind up too late but they do see, they run into the gang of crooks. Catwoman says, move one more foot and Kitka dies. And it's like, come on, Batman.

You've got to be better than this. Look, look at the figure alone. I know. Just imagine. That eye mask off. Imagine that face filled in a little bit more. I mean, because, yeah. I mean, world's greatest detective, here we go again. Come on.

She keeps the same. She's got to smell the same. Don't you hear the purrs? The perfect. Don't you hear that shit, you idiot? I thought it was just a Russian accent. A trill happening. I love to get in here.

gases, all these security guards in the hallway and gets them all that come in on this emergency elevator. And it's so fucking funny because he's like, all right, here's the deal. The office is right over there, but everybody has to hold their breath while we walk across the hallway. There's still some particles of my penguin

gas around. Oh, it's so good. This is basically, now we go on to the submarine. This is kind of the last bit of it here, really. Well, I wanted to say you see the dudes all arguing like we talked about it or whatever, but the the the japanese prime minister the japanese representative here in the organization is uh this actor teru shemada who bond fans will remember as one of the uh specter uh guys in you only live twice

with connery oh nice uh yeah he's got like a big he's kind of like the the second dude down uh blowfeld's like the main villain of that one but he's like the number two sort of pretty cool this i was like this guy looks really familiar i looked him up and i I was like, oh, two huge franchises in the 60s, pretty sweet. I want to see, speaking of Bond and this, I want to see, apparently, if the internet's to be believed, Bill Dozier found Adam West by seeing a James Bond parody, Nestle Quick commercial he was in.

And they were like, oh, he's got all the right attributes for James, for Batman, because he's in this Nestle Quick, James Bond parody. That's so weird. Someone find that and send that to us. I'd love to see that. But here we have, the Joker shoots them with the dehydration ray. Yes. And we collect all these UN delegates and take them to the submarine.

I do like, hey, I've totally found it on YouTube. Oh, nice. So I'll send it to you boys here. I don't know if you can. I do love, is this where, when they're ready to the United Nations, it's hilarious because everyone wears a little criminal mask, even the Joker. And it's like, dude, you're the joke. Yep, not much to hide there, sir.

And I mean, same goes with the penguin. I mean, come on, dude. Well, do the paint over, do the paint over the mask, I think, if you're going to do it. Like, you're doing it every morning ice and where you're going to bed, caked in that shit. I would hope you washed it off. I mean, that would just keep me up. That's just me, I guess. Who was it that was doing that with some movie makeup we were talking about recently?

They would get the makeup put on. And then they'd be like, oh, it looks too, like, prim and professional. The Crow. Yes, it was Brandon Lee and the Crow. That's exactly right. He would sleep in the makeup

to make it look like a little more tattered or whatever, yeah. But so, yes, now we're, we are back in the bat boat. We are going to circle this submarine and blast. And again, as a kid, this was, like, cool to me,

this, like, gun that Robin uses to shoot the charges, the bat charges? Do you ever have, like, the really insane like Nerf guns like the Nerf fucking Bazooka thing that's exactly what this looked like

and man it took me back to the Nerf days never had those oh really oh man really no Nerf guns in the Bronx they'd kill you they shoot you 50 times in the head that wouldn't go well yeah oh my god so what happened to the submarine is

shot by a rocket it's there it's like a shooting like fish in a barrel like they're just like going around and shooting inside it's like disruption Ray or something and it's making that it's like death charges for actual sorry watching

Caesar Romero freak the fuck out surface surface just like jump at oh yeah it's like I mean again it's so cartoony like Snidly Whiplash yeah but it's an adult man playing it and it's just so good and they're trying to sell it too and that's

That's what makes it feel even cheesier because there's a sincerity to the... And that's what makes it work at the same time. You kind of need that. Yeah, you can tell he's afraid that Batman's gonna get him even... You know what I mean? Like, he's committing to the bit in the moment.

He's acting. It's not just winking at the camera, like you get a lot nowadays. Yes. I love the shot of Batman and Robin pulling up to the sub, like after it's surfaced. Because it's just a boat going up against this like submarine prop

clearly on like a studio water tank or whatever and they've got the big blue and white sky. And it just looks like the end of the Truman show. I just rewatched it a couple weeks ago and I was like Truman, it's the end of the Truman show right? Look out, you're gonna if I can hit the wall the literal sea wall. Goodbye Joker and if I don't see you. Good afternoon.

Good evening and good night. Oh wait. Can we get out there too? Oh fuck. Guys let's get out of here. Let's get off the Submarie. I'm going to go meet the hot chick from Ronan. Bye. Nice. Cool. Do you have a sister, brother? Natasha McElhone or something like that? Yeah, sounds right. I'm surprised. Speaking of that movie, I was thinking about this when we were watching it

the other week, but I'm genuinely surprised that in the near 30 years since that movie came out, we've yet to have some fucking galaxy brain creative person in the industry be like, so my script is all about what happens

after Truman walks through that door. great question. Don't never say never, but I guess maybe it's the Peter Weir of it all that keeps that from happening. Right. Yeah. Is my guess. Here's how I would tackle it. It's, it's, that was also a TV show. It's Truman, it's Truman's world. What's it called Truman's? Is it Truman's? I think it's, it's literally called the Truman Show. The Truman Show. It's it. It's Truman Show. That's the sequel. His escape and him living in what he thinks is the real world is another lie. Interesting. You know, the thing about, about Truman Show, Truman Show, you know, I thought

it was a totally fun movie, three-star affair, you know, all the old cast brought it, but like, concentrating on Truman's ex-wife, and then also, you know, there was that cop character played by Willem Defoe going after Truman. Oh, that was Beetlejuice.

Oh, no. Oh, sorry. Up, up. We'll just, you know, it's the same thing. It's just Jim Carrey. I do love that the movie itself, it holds the Biff, pow bang for the last

fight so you know this is the big climax and this fight is great I love these fights it's awesome you'll notice a catwoman gets involved at one point you know it's a lot of biff powbang this is on the deck of the submarine yes and people are getting knocked into the water it's and again like and so you can tell

sometimes it's the actors and obviously sometimes the stuntmen but the actors would mix it up too you know what even they enjoy this it's great but it is it's kind of funny because I'm not this isn't a complaint it's a long fight scene and because it's like such a brawl

and it goes for so long I just kept thinking about whenever you watch like a fucking a professional wrestling thing where like it's a big crazy you know whatever and like it's going and like people are getting tight like if you're watching like a Royal Rumble or something and it's like oh my God can we just

holy fucking could you please go fight the big show for a second I gotta fucking take a breather on the turnbuckle here yes we're swapping partners at one point the cat woman gets involved she knocks people in the water she has her cat which she throws at Batman this is not a cat puppet

I was watching this last night this is a real cat that like real deal either out of west and something double catches and is now holding while he's running around this boat and the cat is not having any of it but then Batman tosses it into a lifeboat and says

bon voyage pussy yes which is amazing and should point out Steve this scene is the second time in this movie where she throws that cat across the room because when she comes in as Kitka at the beginning when she comes into the hideout and they're all the three of them are fighting she's like oh boys are like throws the cat like get them again and this cat is like what the fuck because again it's 1960 whatever and we are tossing cats I'm gonna say to Caesar Romero getting in this water there's a there's a moment where like they're all in the

water and Caesar Romero just like the fucking makeup on his face and he still has to like Burt Ward does a fake, like, punch to the face to him. And I'm like, man, with that makeup on, like, Bert, if he touched him, like, maybe you got like some fucking face makeup on your wrist. And then, like, Caesar, like, oh, we got to cut again. Caesar, yeah, you're just, you're melting, man. You're melting. We got to get this back on.

We got to dry your face on. And when that's happening, Caesar Romero is like, you know, I really should have just gone to Italy and shoot those westerns. Marvin was right. And now here I am. Bing, bang, boom. Robin's knocking you out. You're going down.

Down goes you, down goes your career. Down goes you into a tank of water wearing a bunch of clown makeup because that's the life you have given yourself. You are a henchman for the penguin. You're no longer even a villain of your own steed. You are a henchman for another man. That is disgusting.

Mr. Mittens, you are a great cat actor. I just thank you for meeting me here for some milk. I got to hear for you. I got a cognac myself. You got to get out of this Batman picture. You're going to go, you're going to always be the villain. What about you being on a farm for a little kid? Little kid's like, oh, that's my fucking cat, you know?

Yeah, Brad Pitt's like, don't meow in front of the Mexicans. You should be in Italy making Italian friskeys commercial. That's what you should be doing right now. You know a cat that gets to eat Italian every day of his life. Garfield the cat You could be living Like lasagna Every day

Garfield the cat They have a They have a capraise friskees Did you have you ever thought of that Have you ever could you ever imagine Clip Booth is a grown man Cat stunt double That's it

Yeah He puts on the ears I like that idea But again this fight is fucking awesome It goes on forever And people get knocked around There's Pullies and swings

Batman sword fights the penguin at some point there's a lot going on that's pretty cool I could have used some more sword fighting honestly I really like that moment but you know we we knock all the boys down into the water we've tied them up with something and we chase Catwoman down into the hall

and she just trips and her fucking dumb mask falls off to Robin says holy heartbreak and yes indeed and it's a good out of west performance of like this you know misty-eyed kind of Batman and the song plays

again. It's pretty funny though because you know he's like oh it's holy heartbreak it's Miss Kitka and then like Batman trying to like keep it all together it just like says his whole sentence like really fast and he's like it means nothing snap on the batcups

if I talk for much longer I'm gonna break out and cry it's so good and then Batman calls the Coast Guard like there's a derelict submarine and you'll find like the sea filled with human jetsam. Oh, yeah. Which I had to look up and that's unwanted material or goods that have been thrown overboard from a ship.

That's right. Wait, hold it. Batman just said there's a bunch of cum in the water. That's what I thought. Pizcom. Oh, that's the worst kind. Get the mayor on the phone. There's a bunch of, there's a cum hurricane coming.

A cum hurricane. Jetsam. Jetsam. Jetsam. No, no, no, don't look it up. He must have meant jism. but yes we've got we've got all the United Nations guys

and their little and their little beakers and who should come in because he hasn't been in the movie for a full hour at this point absolutely but Commodore Schmidt Lap What is this? The captain's costume party falls over a fucking something

like Dick Van Dyke. Totally oh who put that fucking footstool there and a big old sneeze Yes and all the pieces of these men go everywhere And then we have to, like, cut ahead in time. We're at the Batcave doing an experiment. The super molecule dust separator we're using on these pieces.

I want to see Batman ordering around a couple of, like, police officers with dust busters. Getting all of this fucking shit up. Because you know a couple of, like, cookie crumbs are getting in there, too. Oh, yeah. A couple of crackers stuff is getting in there, too. Somebody's getting somebody else's ear. Dust mite, at least. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

We're, he is very, did a very good job. Just the fact that the brains are switched and we're not getting a bunch of brundleflies here. That's true. Kill me. Kill me. I would be expecting at least one brundlefly. I love this whole thing because he's like, Robin, prepare to rehydrate. Here is the, is the sterile, dirty garden hose that we're using.

And when they're still at the back cave, though, and they're still working on the machine to separate the dust out. Yes. This is an amazing, again, the. GCP in this Batman world is so fucking stupid. So here's Batman on the horn with Commissioner Gordon. Like, I don't know if this machine's going to work, Commissioner. And like, everything is on the line for these nine delegates and everything. This fucking idiot police commissioner has called a press conference around this phone call.

So it's all these reporters in a room. There's a live television camera just pointed right at this commissioner while on the bat phone. classic fuck up and I love he's got the bat phone in one hand and then he's got fucking Lyndon Johnson on the other line and I love we're filming Lyndon Johnson like it's Mr.

Steinbrenner on Seinfeld like only from behind in a chair and the kinds of dogs that Johnson was famous for having I believe there were beagles and he's got this big old southern accent on Lyndon Johnson at least from this Batman he's like oh hello Batman well Johnson was from Texas

I know I know it's but it's big it's a big performance. It's a big boy, howdy kind of thing. I do, but I do love and like all the different countries are doing this thing

and the big joke of just like, the transformation has been a success. Success, success. Success. And everyone's, in all the different languages. We go around the world.

Yes, exactly. Yeah, we're watching in Russia. We're watching in China or wherever else. And they're back to arguing exactly where they left off, but all their languages are switched. So their minds have been switched,

I guess. Amazing moment here from Robin where he's like hey while we have these guys all like fucking you know just a pile of salt why don't we like adjust them a little bit so that when we bring them back together it's like hey

why are we all fighting and Batman's like no no no that makes us just as bad as the villains we put in jail we cannot genetic engineer our leaders young chum exactly so it's actually kind of interesting because I mean you know it's a

fucking huge elite Batman and it did not work out at all, but he's like, we just have to let them settle their differences naturally. It's like, oh, isn't that funny? There's some line of like, who knows, this strange mixing of minds might be the greatest single service ever performed for humanity.

Let's go, but inconspicuous. Yes, exactly. Our job is finished. I like, he's like, yeah, this probably is great, I guess. Let's get the fuck out of here before anybody notices. Yes. It is very weird, some of these swaps that they make here, though, because the one that I noticed most is the dude from

West Germany has the mind of the dude from Israel inside his body and it's just this dude like in a German accent yelling Shalom and slamming his fucking hand on the desk and I was like it makes you think huh? It really does

it's just kind of funny but yeah I mean that's so funny because it's just the end of the movie is it's almost it's like a close up on Adam West's mouth and he's like our job is finished and then they take their sweet ass time getting the rope out the window i was like it's the end of the movie come on do it they're like slowly open the window slowly put the rope down and then we get it's the end but no it's the living end

question mark yes uh-huh the living end it's like oh boy what it would a treat this has been yeah yes it's it's this adventure's been the living end i do like also that the credits are rolling over the two stunt guys literally climbing down the building which is pretty funny. Also should say just like the TV show of course I love that Gotham City

is just sunny Los Angeles in this world. It's just fucking amazing. It's like the entire series was like Batman went on vacation to another much sunnier fucking town. But that is the end of Batman call in the movie. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts and

recommendations. Chris Cabin. Light recommend. I had fun with this. It just goes on for too long. This is, you get me 30 minutes cut out of this. I'm really happy. You get me an 80 minute version of this. I'm all positive. But I, about an hour in, I started being like, okay, some of these gags need to stop happening. I need a lot of this to just slow down a little bit. Or just stop. But, you know, I had fun. I like seeing all the old villains. Like, it's just, it's just, it's. It's a trip to see it all. And it's nice to have seen it all the way through after all these years just to have like, oh, that's what it says all together. Did you have to immediately put on like a Nolan or like the Batman to sort of balance out? You're like now the cheesiness and the seriousness. No, I mean, I don't mind the cheesiness. It's just having to like with having to sit through it for this long.

Yeah. Like it's having to deal with the endurance. The endurance. The longwindedness of it. Yes. Yeah. All right, fair enough, fair enough. Eric Siska.

Yeah, no, I, I like the cheesiness. I really, really like the cheesiness. I like the old show. But I do, I do agree with a lot of Chris's points about a lot of it gets a little long-winded. By the time we have like the sixth missile being shot from the submarine with the exact same footage, I'm like, do we really need that many, you know? So if it was, if it was moved out of more of a clip, I would have absolutely said this is one of the best things ever made. but it's it's a little long winded long in the tooth but i still enjoyed it i like i like these

actors i like this portrayal of the character i like the fun and gamesness of it i like the ridiculousness of it so i it's a recommend for me we'll leave uh dr dc for last but i'll just say yeah it's a big recommend for me i think this is fun as shit it's a nice like alternative to the usual batman fair which you know i don't have any problem with it's just nice seeing different versions of things. And I love that Batman more than any other hero I think we've seen brought to movies and television or whatever, like an animation as well. Like, Batman is where you get to mix it up. It's where they've always been most comfortable for whatever reason, like recasting and changing and mixing things up. And I just think it's a fucking hoot, man.

Steve Saneck, final word as Dr. D.C. Yeah, I mean, I think this is a bygone era. It's, we're all, I mean, like, DC, these things are gone through so many different iterations it's not even polite to name them all it's just but I love this iteration again this is my first exposure to live action Batman I

thought it was fun and funny at the time and I think it's hilarious now I love watching all these actors just fucking go absolutely on 11 and be caught by it there's just something about about watching

this movie allow for all these big performances and no one gets drowned out no one gets blown out you know obviously the joker is less than whatever but like everyone's there and everyone's got a little a piece of the pie i i i fucking love it i do think this movie is essential viewing if you haven't seen it just give it a shot uh allow allow yourself to have a little bit of fun and yes is it too long i will agree i i definitely there's a 90-minute version of this movie that is better but i really had fun with it so that's every time I've gone back to it as an adult, I've liked it more.

There you go. I agree with all of that. So, all right, that is going to do it, gang. But this is, if you can even believe it, just the first week of We Love Movies Month. If you want more, we love or hate movies, of course. Check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies,

where if you are a subscriber on the $8 or $10 level, folks, you were able to listen to this entire episode commercial free. That's right. Add free. You also have a complete, recaps of the penguin speaking of Batman for you Batman heads out there

too old for this shit we've been recapping week by week the penguin I don't know what episode we're off to by now but it's getting pretty good I think by the time this episode ends we are at the last few episodes of the Penguin season to come out yeah that's right we have

what are we doing so of course you know normally folks you know if you're hip to the program normally on this feed of course are the we hate movies you know episodes and then on the Patreon once a month we have a we love movies episode for subscribers at the $5 level and up but this month every November we flip that script so that everything on this feed is the we love movies episodes and then for those $5 subscribers and up they get a special we hate movies episode that's

coming out exclusively on the Patreon which have we decided that at the time of this recording Steve Sadek who I think is looking at the spreadsheet we have U.S. Marshalls the great Tommy Lee Jones a sequel to the Fugitive which we did last year on this very feed. Right, with Robert Downey Jr. in it. This one is dumb one. Wesley Snipes. Yeah. Cheesy, fun, chicken

costume. Yes. Oh, the chicken costume. The dude looks like Judge Reinhold gets murdered in this one. So that's fun. On the animation, Damnation, we're doing, of course, a full length movie episode, as we often do in the We Love Movies Month.

On the Duck Tales movie, the one with the genie, whatever that was called. Legend of the Lost Lamp, I believe. Probably. It's a sweet little 74-minute movie that I loved as a kid. It's going to be interesting to go back to that sucker. And then speaking of the... Treasure of the Lost Lamp.

There it is. But speaking of doing feature-length films on programs where we don't normally talk about feature-length films this month, again, because it's celebratory. We love movies. We're getting into the movie spirit a little more. On the Nexus, that's right at the $8 level or up. We are talking all about Star Trek for the Voyage home.

Finally, that's right, folks. The Lost Live show from San Francisco, unreleasable, but now we're going to get back into the studio. We're going to talk about the fourth TOS movie all over again. And I think it's been long enough now. Yes. I'm jazzed to see our fucking whale friends again. Of course.

Eric, it's a little far out when we're recording this. Any ideas for the Gleepe glossary in November? The Gleap Glossary for November will be also covering a little bit of Tulsa King. I don't know exactly how I'm going to work that end, but if you listen to October's raucous edition of the Gleap Glosser, you have an idea of what you're in store for. So we'll figure something out and it will be a humdinger, dare I said. Just for, because Steve was having trouble with it,

maybe we can focus on Martin Starr's character. We can just do a full entry on Martin Starr's character. Full bio, yeah. He's not a guest star. The Gleap Glass is slowly evolving from a Star Wars side show to a Tulsa King show. As naturally so, too. And just a programming note, of course, Melrose 210, back to its format, a regular format, should say. Last month, of course, we had a wild time talking about the season two finale of Melrose Place,

which was a big feature-length film more or less. So we just devoted the entire ep to that one episode. but we are back to Beverly Hills 9-0-2-1-1-Melrose Place. It's going to be awesome. So look forward to that top-tier selection right there. And now finally, of course, we love Movies Month, continues into its second week next week, next Tuesday, Steve. What good movie are we talking about?

Well, it's awesome. I'm glad to be scheduled it this way because it's October 9th when we're recording this. And if I start it now, I think I'll have just enough time to watch it before releases. It's Lord of the Rings, Return of the King. Hell yeah, I just saw someone on Patreon was like, hey, I'm going back through some episodes. I love when you guys talk about Lord of the Rings.

Are you going to do Return to the King anytime soon? And I was just like, stay too. Yes. I know. No idea how close. We should mention, I believe we've done Fellowship of the Ring. We've done the two towers. I think they were both Patreon exclusive.

So that's another incentive for you to sign up, catch up for next week's Return of the King episode. Yes. And I think we're going to, at least one of us will watch the extended edition, probably all of us. I think I will. I know I'm going to be it. I've never seen the extended. So I'll, again, I'm going to start it now. And then we'll, by November 6th, for sure, I should be good to go. Exactly. By the time we record it, we'll be a ghost army as well. But that's it, gang. That's what's going on this month. Give you a little rundown of Patreon offerings and whatnot. It's been a fun evening here chatting about Mr. Batman. This episode is, of course, dedicated to fun lovers. That's right. We apologize. Anywhere and everywhere, the fun lovers. If we've missed out, if we neglected to mention a certain kind of fun lover, except our apology.

Steve, stop making out. Hey, get away from the sign. Stop making out front of the sign. Gross. So until next week, when we tackle probably the extended cuts, all four of us, of Return of the King, which is the Third Lord of the Rings movie. I've been Andrew Juven. Stephen said. Eric Siska.

Chris Cabin. Take it easy, fun lovers. Thank you.