We Hate Movies - S15 Ep769: Gladiator (W❤️M)

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

“This will be a particularly ignorant episode… from an historical standpoint” - Steve, on WHM’s lack of history education On this week’s special We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re chatting about Royal Rid’s 2000-era action epic, Gladiator! How great of a run did this film set off for Russell Crowe? How easily eerie is Joaquin here? Did Jesse Ventura try to snag an audition along with Sven-Ole? How intense is that tiger sequence? Is the CGI’d Oliver Reed the first cinematic instance of Hollywood going to Tarkin Town and should we be calling it Oliver Reed-ville instead? And how funny is that “They Say No” decapitation? PLUS: How is this movie only one of THREE times Royal Rid was nominated for Best Director?  Gladiator stars Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Richard Harris, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou, David Schofield, John Shrapnel, Ralf Moeller, Spencer Treat Clark, David Hemmings, Tommy Flanagan, Sven-Ole Thorsen, and Oliver Reed as Proximo; directed by Ridley Scott. This episode is brought to you in part by Uncommon Goods. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UNCOMMON GOODS dot com slash WHM. That’s UNCOMMON GOODS dot com slash WHM, for 15% off! Don’t miss out on this limited time offer! Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. Be sure to catch us in Boston for our final show of the year! We’ll be talking about the film Pretty Woman at Laugh Boston on December 4! It’s our last stop on the road before we hibernate until next year, so we wanna see you out there! Click through here to get your tickets!   Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Bus Movie, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!   Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on We Love Movies, it's basically a revenge film set inside the jacked-up world of gladiator man-on-tiger combat. It's Ridley Scott's Gladiator. I'm Andrew Aurelius. Do you like Gladiator movies? Stephen Zadak. Eric Siska and Chris Gavin. And we love movies.

Hello, everyone, welcome to We Love Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. We Love Movies month is continuing. We were talking about LOTR last week, this week, oh, baby it's gladiatorial combat indeed ridley scott's 2000 era epic film right what was the roman new roman numerals they gave the 4k and blu-ray desk mm oh it was like m m for 2000 and then m mv for 2005 was when the extended cut came out right okay i just thought that was very funny and i was just like no no no i thought this took place earlier A little earlier. Is this the wrong movie? Is this this ain't Gladiator?

Oh shit. Yep, there you go. I was, because it's been a long week. We're recording a lot this week. We did Lord of the Rings as well. And literally when this movie starts in the big battle, I'm like,

Deb orcs. No dojo-orcs coming out, coming down that mountain? Oh, my God, the monsters coming down the mountain. They're born out the ground. Well, it's Germania. These are barbarians.

I'm sure that guy's digging guys out of the ground. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? No. And it's the same language. I mean, I mean, but the hood. That is an orc yell, if I ever heard one.

That means Romans are back on the menu, boys. Yeah, exactly. Better start eating, kids. I will say that this will be a particular, thank you, Chris, for issuing it in. This will be a particularly ignorant episode of weird. Oh, right. From a historical standpoint, forget about it. Absolutely.

People care about history. I don't understand it at all. Tell me a fun little yard. I don't, oh, did the emperor not actually get killed in combat in the Coliseum? That's not a surprise to me. It's just this close to the crucifixion. We're not even 200 years out. Like, this is where it's real, like, you could tell me, orcs and dragons, they all existed.

I'd be fine. That's a great point. There was definitely, the historical record proves, Chris, dragons present at the crucifixion. That would make sense to me. I got to tell you, I've told this story. before we feel i did not get to see this movie in theaters uh did any of you guys get to see it in theater oh yes i did

yeah it was great big old movie had to see it the year 2000 i got my big fat popcorn my big fat belly and we enjoyed ourselves this was uh this was may of 2000 so this was really like kicking off the summer summer uh blockbuster well you know i was almost about to say extravaganza

but that's our thing the summer you know the summer months oh yeah yeah and universal signed off on the controversial sepia tone opening thing for your when the universal globe comes up. Right, yes. There's that. I thought you were alluding to the part where Maximus touches grass, which we

should all do from time to time. That's right. Yes, we do. I mean, everybody needs to do that. I guess that's wheat. Wheat fields. He's in the wheat fields. But yeah, this was, I was banned from seeing this movie in theaters or thwarted. So this was, so this came out uh it was like mid-may um and there was we were with some uh buds in high school and so this was

made so like everyone was underage uh which was just a bunch of 16-year-olds going to the movies and we're like okay we'll sneak into gladiator we'll buy tickets for you 571 that came out like two weeks or three weeks prior is oh yes and so like we went and we bought the tickets and it was a thing where like the theater was shaped like an h like the the hallways were shaped like an h and you had like down you know left and you're right there was theaters you know auditoriums and then the middle hallway there was three auditoriums and it was like if you bought a ticket for a movie on the left you could use the middle hallway to go to the right side of the theater and see something else that's how i snuck in the blair witch project

uh american beauty tons of other movies but so we're doing this for gladiator and i guess they've been thwarting a lot of people because like people were fucking hype for this movie yeah and we're go we're cut across and this dude that i would later like go on to a to work for. And this dude does a hands on the hips sidestep. Like he's Richard Simmons doing some sort of exercise move. And he's just like where you guys think you're

going. Oh, the way you think you're going. And it was like, you know, man. You fucking know. Don't make me fucking say it. And he's like, you have tickets for you, 5, 7.1. If I catch you in any other theater, I'm calling the cops. I mean, Andrew. Andrew, you of all people

understand and celebrate. the good feelings of petty power plays. Oh, I know. And that's why there's some other podcast out there. There's some other podcast with some other guy talking about a time I did the exact same thing. Well, no, I'm just saying the guy also was just enjoying some petty fucking power. Like, oh, you little kids think you're going to sneak into a movie like every single person does. Oh, my God.

This happened to me with American Psycho the same year. It was the same exact story. Instead of U-571, it was keeping the faith, remember that one? Oh, sure, absolutely. When a rabbi and a priest loved the same woman or one of them? Yeah, they don't make those anymore. I feel like the early aughts, maybe it was just the beginnings of the Bush era, was like they started checking a little bit more than they had been before.

Because I remember my teen years, I was in the Bronxers fucking buying tickets to God knows what. You know what it was? It was Columbine. Yeah, that probably was, yeah. That's what we're all seeing movies we shouldn't be. movies, video games, that's fucking CDs became like under lock and key. Yes.

And for a bit there, Columbine was as bad as it was going to get. We were, as a nation, we're like, oh, that's it. That's it. 2001, that's never going to happen. None of that's ever going to happen. By the way, you just enjoy it. By David Cullum. Columby.

That's the worst it's going to get. So surely, preventing a bunch of 60-year-old kids for going to see Ridley Scott's gladiated, that's going to fucking save it. That's right. You don't want them impaling fucking cats on their way home. Yeah. That'd be a problem.

That's what they'll do. That's what they'll do. The, uh, the touch and the touch and the, um, wheat there, you know, the hands over the, the, the crop there. Mm-hmm. I feel like that, I don't, like, that's gone down as like a really famous shot. Right? Like, that's popped up. Like, when people are making montages about the movies, I feel like a lot of the times when you

see and stuff like that, whether it's like the Oscars, or, you know, whatever, you see Russell Crow's hand going over this, you know, I think it's a preferred version of heaven because it really, it, everybody can get in on it. Old people love this idea. I'm just going to be walking and touching wheat. They're thrilled by that. A couple of kids, you know, you're done with the noise and everything. You just have some wheat, fantastic. I would love it, you know, if I could just dine it in, go to the Roman slash Amish afterlife. I really do think that that's what it connects with people. They just want to be in a wheat field that's my first

the hell dude fucking just sitting around like waiting for what what's gonna happen what do you prefer the bus stop exactly I got a fucking I got an iPod on me or something I need a little something this movie this movie operates the same way the show lost wound up

operating as far as like what the afterlife means because like ultimately the final season of that show ends with them it's like everybody who was involved in the rigum all, you know, they become like a family in their own way. And it's like everybody is waiting in this like church in the afterlife for everybody to die and like go together to the next thing.

And it's the same thing here. It's just a bigger bus stop. Like this is just three people. But that would be so terrible. Imagine like you go to the afterlife, all your old relatives. And you're like, it's like a first day of a job where you're like, okay, oh, hi, Jim. Nice to meet. You know, meet you. I guess you're my ancestors. I'm never going to remember that name. I'm going to be like, hey, you, how are you doing? Oh, you were born 200 years ago? Interesting. Yeah.

I'm just like, hey, man. It's like, I'm your great grand uncle. Oh, cool. Take me around to everyone's grain cubicles introducing me. I got to tell you, though, the way that this looks, the way that Ridd shoots this and the filters that he puts on it, it looks like the fucking, like outer, outer territory afterlife from Beetlejuice. I was expecting a sandworm to pop out. It was the year 2000, we were going Filter crazy

in this movie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And Black Hawk Down, too. Oh, my, oh, dude, that was Filter City. But that's honestly why I've never rewatched Black Hawk down. I watched it once and I was like, I hate the way this looks.

It's making my eyes hurt and I never went back to it. Same, the sandworms in that movie? Oh, dude, they're taking the copters down left or right? I couldn't believe it. fucking destroy Eric Banna's bicycle. This movie takes place in 180 AD, which for all I know, to Chris's point about

goblins and dragons, there could be sandworms in one of the way. For all I know, the historical scroll is basically like, Rome, it's around. Yeah, you want to be a real big. It's kind of big. I got it right here from the library. Oh, good. Oh, yeah. It's a big one.

Strap in. At the height of its power, the Roman Empire was vast, stretching from the deserts the Africa to the borders of northern England. Over one quarter of the world's population lived and died under the rule of the Caesars. Those were the salad days. Oh, good Lord. Nothing. Anchovies. Your oral anchovies. Yes. In the winter of 108 AD, Emperor Marcus Aurelius is 12-year campaign against the barbarian tribes in Germania was winding down to an end and just one final stronghold stands in the way of Roman victory and the promise of peace through the

empire. Empire, empire. And when do we fear the gin? Oh, no, that's wishmaster. Apologies. That's not quite yet. I'll tell you what, Maximus could have used to fucking... Oh, absolutely. He would have fucking... Oh, man. You want vengeance, do you? I would have taken a gin.

Wow, you know what, man. I don't know if I can grant you a final wish. You're a pretty twisted dude. But yeah, we're getting ready for this eve of this big battle. one character that is under that I forgot about that disappears in the early ongoing of the movie is gladié dog

he's great the battle dog man yes this this dog man he should be getting you know I think this is probably before we were doing like the Medal of Freedom for Animals well yeah yeah yeah right like we weren't awarding animals anything but this this dog he he deserves his own little piece of the empire right like take carve out like just carve out a part of Europe and make it like

big dog part. Well, this dog right here, I'm going to tell you, he missed out. Computers took his job, because this would be the prime dog to put in that fucking Godforsaken thing remake. You want a dog of this caliber in there to do something at this. And what did they do? They give to the

fucking computer. You barely get a fucking dog in that movie. It's all computer shit. I would have loved a dog and call of the wild. Oh, God. I've got about that movie. Hell on Earth. Chewbacca with him. But this is a great dog.

like he's just got great presence. He does help Russell Crow out a couple of times. Like, it'd be great instead of, is it Tommy Flanagan at the end? He's like, oh, oh, I remember if the dog is just going to the Coliseum, you know,

kind of unknown, it's like, oh, wow, that's my old boss. Yeah, they meet up with each other. Yeah, the dog could like throw up the little dollies of his wife and kid and buried in the giant litter box. All right. All right. All right, doggy, I need you to go.

Where are the men? Find all the boys. Bring him here. Tell him where I'm being held, captive doggy. What's that boy? Maximus Drapped in the Coliseum. Gladiatee Dog, better movie, by the way. Oh, please.

How has it not happened already? What's that boy? He wants to fuck his sister. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Oh, well, Gracius, there's actually no rule the dog. and fight a man in the gladiator pit. And now it just turns an airbag, essentially. Yeah.

Well, you know, Maximus, there's no rule that says a dog can't rule over the Roman Empire. All hail emperor dog. Here he comes. Here comes the gladiator dog. Oh, the tiger's ripping apart. Oh, oh, oh, no. Yeah, so they are, you know, on this, the Germanic border here. And they basically have sent a dude into the.

Forrest to be like, hey dudes, you want to come quietly and let us take you over or what? And the fucking guy rides out on this horse and you see one of Maximus's guys, or does Maximus say it? Someone's like, they say no. And it's this dude with the guy's head. It rules. It's pretty cool. It's a headless horseman. And honestly it is headless horseman.

Oh, you're right. Yes, that's right. They send the body out on the horseback first. They say no. Well, that, yeah, that is absolutely Maximus who says that because he's speaking to. verifiable piece of fucking shit, Quintus. Oh, dude, that guy's obvious.

They tried to do a job at the end of this fucking movie and try to make him a good guy. No way. Uh-uh. No, uh-uh. No, sir. You oversaw the crucifixion of a child. You do not get to like post-burning.

Get a thumbs up at the end. That's not that bad. In 108 or 180, it was, that was just a job you could get was crucifying children. Of course. Normal. Well, yeah. You can just be a cop now, too, Eric. You just don't do it.

But Quintas, you know, it's whatever the wind is blowing. That's the vibe. That's why it's the end. Hello. Hello. Come on. Open the door. It's Quintas.

Kid Crucifier here. We have no children. Is this not 742 romantic ways? Well, yeah. I mean, it's tough getting references for this kind of stuff. But you know what? Why don't you send a pigeon to this guy? I took care of his wife and son.

Maybe he would give you some reference of how good I am. Oh, wait, I'm so high in government that I'm next to the fucking emperor all the time. Well, that's the thing, dude. Quintas, you know, shitbag that he is. When you smell a coup coming, you want to fucking be right in on that shit.

Because if you're on the right side of a coup, guess is getting a huge promotion. Garbage. He's like, like, the chief. from staff or something. Yeah, something like that. This is Thomas Arama, who hilariously, more Roman activity.

He's in all six episodes of the new Pope. Oh, nice. So there you go. We should say, we should say this is one of the only, which is just kind of shocking to me. Only three times Ridley Scott Royal Rid was nominated for Best Director,

which is shocking to me. That's crazy. And this one kind of feels like, That should have been the one. Yeah. No, it should have. Well, I don't know. I mean, it kind of feels like there was so much stacked up by this point that nominating him for this is like Scorsese get nominated for the departed.

It should have been Thelma. Although Scorsese won that. It should have been Thelma. I think 100% it should have been Thelma. Which is a much better movie. I mean, they're both a good movie. Thelma is a great movie. I enjoy that.

That's like a great movie that is directed very uniquely. I think that is the one to give to it. But, like, I would just have liked. but to get one, period. We should say, by the way, Thelma and Louise, not the movie Thelma. No, sorry. Either of them. There's like three of them.

The June Squib Thelma movie, I have to say, is quite delightful. I'm sure not. I'm not, I have not seen it. It looks like he did get nominated for this one. Yeah, he didn't win. I guess it was Angley, Stephen Soderberg, and Stephen Daltry. Well, it gets the Stephen Daltry out there, but like the other two certainly deserve it. Well, 2000.

So what did it go to, Soderberg for traffic? It's the 2001. Let's see here. Now, for some reason, this is how the world works now. You try to Google something. It doesn't really tell you. So that's why I'm stretching this out and to tell you that the winner was Steven Soderberg for traffic,

which I just have. Excellent vamping, dude. That's the top quality gabbing. But that's my point. I was trying to make a point that there was better competition back then. You could actually make movies for adults. Yeah. I mean, not that this is a movie for adults necessarily, though.

I mean, I think this is adult-ish at least. Wow, Soderberg nominated twice. in the same year. Oh, yeah, baby. He was hitting home runs at that point. Traffic and Brockovich for directing. Yep. That's wild. But his final nominee was Black Hawk

Down. I mean, like, honestly, like, there's just it's crazy Blade Runner didn't get there, you know, you got... That was, you know, the theatrical at the time and, yeah, it was divisible. I love Royal Red. I like

all, I basically like most of his movies. I've decided to just come out and say it like i'm not you know it's it's it's i can understand the rotten perspective on some but even the rotten i'm like i'll take this over a lot of other stuff i mean prometheus i would i'd let him fucking be nominated for prometheus i love per me i know people don't turn off the radio it's okay to like a movie it's okay to dislike a movie that's right that's right uh yeah so we we have this big battle and then yes steve this is very much you're on the orc lookout here this very much feels like lord of the rings because it

Again, I mean, those are two movies where, like, the amount of extras was massive. So, like, you get that scale, you know, obviously you have a little more CGI and gleep-glops and shit in Lord of the Rings and whatnot. But, like, as far as, like, getting dozens of people together to, like, theatrically fight each other on a set, like, same vibes. Yeah. And this is, I mean, not just at the beginning of that, but this was really popularizing the big, you know, a huge war, you know, scene that we love to shoot. Right. You know, that carry through the

Lords of the Rings, carry through your Troy, your fucking. Right. And Ridley Scott's a master of it. I mean, I think Napoleon's, uh, fight scenes are just as good, if not better than these. He's good at fights. Although, uh, if anybody sees the, uh, director's cut of Kingdom of Heaven,

he's got some incredible fights in that one. Uh, you know, this, so this dog is, you know, he's taking souls left and right. They take down the big guy, the big head throwing leader guy like you're fucking swarming like an ATAT like they're just trying to like wrap

this guy up any way they can to bring him to the ground and then like a horde of dudes like jumps on this guy and kills him. What I love about this is so the it's starting and then you know separate of that Maximus has to go into

the woods to see his boys like the really close ones that like he's like okay they're all slaughtering each other back there. Now guys listen to me we're all here we're all we're going to win this from marcus aurelius this is going to be his day today and you know what maybe i'm going to be king tomorrow you don't even know about that man you hear me battle dog we're going to get you in the presidency battle dog and i just love that like he has to he he warms up the crowd and then he has to go back to

like his private like circle of posse yeah just to be like let's get to warren yeah well that's the you know uh if you find yourself in elysium you're already dead Don't worry about it. It's kind of funny. If you see Matt Damon, you're dead. If you are having lunch with your grandma who you haven't seen in 13 years, you might already be dead. If you see Matt Damon with a weird spine thing going up his back and a weird bald head

and he's on a big-ass space station, you might be in the movie, Elysium instead. I never saw it, man. Yeah, no. Me either. I think that's his best, a Blum cap or whatever. Oh, okay. Blumkin, yeah. Yeah.

Not Matt Damon, my lord. No, no, no, no, no. But I do love, there's a great decapitation here where fucking Russell Crow loses his sword in a tree because he decapitates it, dude, so hard. Pretty good. There's a lot of great kills here. Really awesome violence going on. And as the battle sort of settles down, you know, it turns into basically like, basically like, like a slow-mo shaky cam montage thing, which tells you, you know, that's Royal Ridd being like,

hey, this is ongoing, but I showed you all the cool stuff you're going to see. We're sort of transitioning into the next part here. And this is we meet Joaquin Phoenix and Connie Nielsen as a brother and sister, fucking Combinus and Lucilla, and they are being called to the front line by their father of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius. Already too much Brandon Brenda stuff going here. Right off the bat in this little carriage. I'm getting way too much of it.

Oh, sister, ever since we shared a bathroom, everything has been better. I parked Mondale out front today. Mondale the horse. I was thrown from Mondale and hurt my back. Only you can help me now, sister. All hell Caesar, Jim Walsh. He wishes. He fucking wishes.

If anyone's confused, this is 902.1.0 references. We do a side show on Patreon on 902.1. We do, indeed. Which we do enjoy. But yeah, so they're, yeah, they're very incestuous or like, it's not even that one-sided deal, dude. I feel like she's giving him an H.J. once and he'll never forget it. You're totally right. It happened one summer fucking 20 years ago.

She jerked them off by Lake Como. Whoa. You know. So 160 AD? Yes. Put that. Back in 160. Let's add it to the scroll.

no if you're going back in time it's got to go the other way it's 200 a oh fuck no no no no that's BC yeah AD yeah you're right all right so just for clarity she jerked off her brother in 140 AD

but we are in AD so it's the wild days it's the all or nothing days you can do hand jobs any witchy way you like I refuse to understand BC once you get to negative years and like well aren't we living in them already but so they you know

they're sitting in this fucking carriage. And it's, yeah, I think to me anyway, it's a lot of, like, him grossly obsessed with her. And she's like, oh, man, this guy could have me fucking put to death at some point. You know, sister, these days, that's not that weird.

I think it is actually. I think it's pretty weird. No, actually, it's quite normal. Because we want the pure bloods, you understand. That's what I was reading. I was reading in the forum, the penthouse forum, about these his brother and sister

stepbrother and sister and you see she was stuck in the handmade's washing apparatus you understand father he's told me another stuck story in the carriage

I was just changing the plug on the aqued duck and I got stuck and then this guy came home for the last time comedist I'm not a step anything I'm your actual sister so keep it in your pants

but yeah they don't know why they've been summoned. You know what I mean? We haven't seen our father for so many years. He loves me on the front lines. We're, but we'll see what this is all about. He's summoned us both.

And do you think he's really dying? Yes. He's been dying for 10 years. Yeah. Oh, joyful. And then, yes, they've got to go to the front lines. Just comedy. So, oh, how about to blow me a kiss while I'm out here?

As he's mounting Mondale to ride off. At this point, we have met, Marcus Aurelius pointed by the late great Richard Harris He's like By the way Maximus I don't know if you know this

I despise my son wholeheartedly And wish for you to take over When I resign And give Rome Back to the Senate and the people Can you just do that Like can you write a letter?

Yes You're really putting me out here Caesar I hate to break it to you dude This is really Honestly Really put me out Once he's dead, I'd be like, well, congratulations, Cometus.

I'm off to Spain to my farm. Exactly. Let me go home. Come on, boss. Just let me go home. Because, like, yeah, exactly. Boss, 100%, right? Because like, as much as it's like, oh, yes, of course.

I treasure you like a son, Maximus. No, no, no, no, no. You've been working this dude like a fucking war dog for however long. Get out of there. Dude, you owe this guy. Nothing. Fuck you pay me. Exactly.

His man has been away for so long He thinks his wife's hair is black And it is not It is absolutely not The man is gone He's lost his mind Well it's kind of great Because like everyone's just like

I can't see you as a farmer maximus I mean without you putting the sword Inside of a German's fucking skull I just can't imagine you doing that You know and doing anything other than that You're so good at it Like if you're not taking a life Maximus I mean what are you even

doing you're totally worthless it's like when the soldiers find out that tom hanks is a teacher and save the private rye what what what but you're so good at shooting the tank that's slowly approaching i could you were born to kill krauts i can't imagine it i love uh when comidus like gets up to the front line and like goes to you know it goes up to richard harris or whatever he's like did i miss it did i miss the battle or whatever. And he says something about like, oh, is it coming to you an end or whatever? And he's like, it's pretty much over, you fucking

moron. Oh, boy. He's like, I'm helping daddy at work today. That's exactly what it feels like, dude. That's that. Because yeah, their interactions are 100% that. But once we get to the party, like this is like a nightmare scenario. Your boss's son is an awkward creep who thinks you're his brother.

Yes. Yeah, dude. It's just following you around talking about Are you loyal to the family? And I'm like, dude, I want to fuck my wife. Can you please just stop this? I want to go home and fuck my wife. I know you and your sister probably at the same time

want to fuck me, but that's not happening. There's like a past with him and Connie Nielsen. Yes. Which actually, I misremembered this movie. I thought her kid was his. Oh, yeah. I kind of had that. I was like, oh, when does he find out that this little turns?

his son, too. And then it just doesn't happen to the move. But I like the idea of him getting mixed into this, like all of them fucking with each other. Like he could be the crew nuts, the crew nuts. Yes. Is that, that's a salad term, right? Croutons? Croutons. Croutons. It could be the croutons

in the Caesar salad. Just imagine if that wasn't humbled. Oh, Max, Maximus, I'm stuck in a horse skate. I don't care. I do not care. Perhaps your wiener will help me get unstuck.

The only one I on stick from things is me wife. I only have four layers beneath me. But yes, this party, like, everyone's kind of coming at the maximumus. Yes, which implied that he's got, he definitely nailed Connie Nealson in a different life. But things are different now. Definitely. You've got some senators farting around here like this piece of shit, Falco, rock me Amadeus indeed

motherfucker. Yeah, shouldn't you be in Germania? Yeah, exactly making your fucking synth pop. Which I do appreciate it like. It's great. Yeah, it's great. Wonderful music. It is kind of amazing with these senators are like, man, it was really cool when we ran things. Well, we probably will one day.

Bye. Who knows? Oh, Maximus, we must save Rome for the politicians, says Comedus. I mean, it's so awkward because, like, even Richard Harris is, like, skeved out by, like, things that, like, are supposed to be normal with his, like,

comitists at one point is, like, I would slaughter 50 bulls to entice, to make, make a, uh, what's it called a, fuck. Oh, yeah, tribute to you. Tributes. He says it when he meets him. He's like, oh, what a great victory. Father, I'm going to slay hundreds of bulls in your honor. And Richard Harris is like, that's okay, man.

That's, it's really all right. Save the bulls. Save the balls, stupid, save the balls. Honor Maximus instead, he won the battle. Well, you were doing nothing. But your sister, you're wanting to do your sister. I love that we have this scene where Marcus Aurelius, the emperor, is like, Oh, Lucilla, you would have made an excellent boss to this family,

much like Sophia Falcone on the show The Pension. Like, he's like lamenting that he now can't, like, give the empire, like, over to her because she's way better than her dipshit brother. But also, like, there's these new commercials for, they're kind of humorous for wills where, like, it's like this, they always start with like this

very moving thing. We're like, you know, when we die, we want you to take the kids. And then some guy pops up, something's like, doesn't count. And like, you gotta get this will. No, wait, wait, wait. New Sibat jumps up and says, he kind of down, Toasty! Yes, he does.

It's like, oh, you know, when I leave, I want to leave this car to you that doesn't count gotta put it in a wheel and that's actually I want that guy to travel back to fucking 180 AD and tell

fucking Marcus Aurelius that You can't just be fucking whispering shit to fucking gladi to generals This is a great point If only Marcus Aurelius is watching Jersey City late night TV You could figure this out

I mean he's an old man He's drunk and like probably on powders Of all sorts All the time I don't trust it even. He's watching Chopped with me. Oh, I don't think they're going to be able to use all four ingredients. Nice ploy, Ted Allen.

We'll just see, maybe they'll do something with the bok choy. You didn't use the bok choy. This is ridiculous, Ted Allen. What are they supposed to do? That was a basket ingredient? It's 20 ounces of crushed cool ranch Doritos. on a bok chrusted bok choy i don't think so but that's not really transforming an ingredient is it

you're just kind of putting it on the plate but yeah so like he but yeah he does pull a mark maximum society he tells him and he's like you have to sundown to figure out what you want to do meanwhile i'm going to do the thing which uh every idiot does is i tell my evil son separately you know you know he's a creep

You just, come on. You know this. You've got to do it in front of both of them and get the whole Praetorian Guard out. Yes. Oh, man. Hey, get as many witnesses as you fucking get. Get Quintus in there, get Glendier dog in there as well.

100%. Squire guy with the scars. Get the hell in here. Do it in front of all the men, too. Do it out in public with the entire army. Shame him. All right, everyone. Everyone, listen up.

I know we're having a most excellent post-battle rager. But I just have to say in front of you all my stupid son will not be emperor. Yes, and the punch has been spiked. Your parents have been called. They're coming

to pick you up soon. Now, if he tries to hug me, please get between us. Please take his hug for me because they are deadly to me. This is really fucking tough because he's like, you will not be emperor. Rome is to be a republic again.

They go on and on and on about all this shit. He's got this huge daddy issues. You know, if you gave me one full hug he's crying about and then here we go. Oh, my God. He fucking signs his own death notice right here. Marcus Aurelius is like, your faults are my failures. Yes. As a father.

And he goes, I would have butchered the whole world. If only you would love me. Meanwhile, Richard Harris is down on his knees being like, my fuck ups, you know, are why you're a piece of shit. And just getting hugged to death. It's a smothered. Well, it's like a Roman headlock, dude. My God, oh, no.

He's like trying to tap out, but he won't let him go. Why is it the referee called the match? Can he see what's going on? Oh, damn it. He's an old man. Get him out of that. Markerserillius is dead. Stoishism is dead.

He kills him with kindness, which is nice in a way. Lament with me, brother. Our great father is dead. I love, I mean, it's not that, but I love the voice. that Joaquin is putting on here, man. It's very good. Well, this is the kind of, not the beginning, but like the real

beginning of, what do you call it there, of Joaquin? He had done to die for in 95, got a lot of notice for that. Looking up, he did U-turn. He was 8mm, he was kind of a seed stealer. He's like the, is he like the number two in 8mmeter or no?

He's like the fun guy that helps out Nick Cage. Yeah, okay. I feel like you turn it. I kind of like it. I know it's dumb, but he plays on TNT, like this local guy. Again, kind of seed steelery. And then this is like, I mean, the yards, if anyone ever saw it.

Oh, hell yeah. I mean, yeah. Great movie. No, yeah. But this is a huge blockbuster movie where he is the village. Oh, yeah. And then from there on, it's like Wakene Town signs. I mean, 2000, 2000 alone set him up for like all, like all sorts of kinds of Joaquin, right?

because like 2000 is this 2000 is the yards which you already mentioned and 2000 is also Quills so like 2000 was the year that I think like American movie audiences were like wow like Joaquin Phoenix can do a ton of shit for all the perversions in the movie is Quills the only one of those three

where he's not trying an incest thing I think so I think he's like the regular guy he's like hey how about missionary sex and ever hear that wow writing with your feces is weird I'll do it don't get me wrong I'll ease myself into it. But yeah, because then, like, you know,

2002 brings on signs. Then he gets into the village. He's fucking doing voices in the animated film Brother Bear. He's in Hotel Rwanda. And then he's doing, like, the massive Hollywood shit, Latter 49, Walk the Line. Yeah. It goes back to Gray with We on the Night.

Right? That's a James Brown movie. Oh, yeah. So, I mean, it's just, yeah, this is really, like, Ground Zero for, like, Joaquin Phoenix. big movie star. Yes. Yeah. So yeah, he's

he murders his dad and like he goes up to Maximus and it's just basically like, hey man, is it so sad that my dad died in natural causes? You're like my number one though, right? And it's like, nah. No, no, yeah. Yes, I am. Of course, yes. I would love to go check on the misses, but I

pledge fully to you. Have a great reign. Caesar. Like exactly. Yeah. That's like your dad's last wish was that I go back to Spain and hang out my wife and smoke pot. And I really appreciate Everything he did for me If you ever have another work

Give me a call, we'll see, we'll talk No, you don't need to know where I live, man That's okay You don't, like that's all right I'm fine not saying that It's one two farm road Spain Also, because the funny thing is

He even says to him Like, oh, you know Don't get too comfy when you're home Maximus like I might need you later So he's actually even cool With him leaving in the this moment. And, like, Maximus just needs to do a thing where he's like, uh, if you give me one second, I just need to get something out of my carriage.

Mush, mush, get out of here. And he just like peels out. He needs to have the Pulpictions. He just goes to the beer. He's like, all right, you're going to go out there. You're going to shake his hand. You're going to finish your drink. Go home. You jack off. And that's all you're going to do. And when the carriage peels out, it sounds like a car for no reason. I would love dude if this movie just had a tire squeal what that's how much I care about historical accuracy if I'm entertained are you not entertained then I'm fine but no he does the wrong thing which he's like

oh no and he tries to let everybody know that Joaquin is evil which obviously gets him fucked he won't embrace him yes that's right he might be embraced afterwards and it won't do it he won't bludgeon him yeah he fucking ices him right out And again, that's a problem. Because like, just fake a handshake, man. We've all fucking meaningless.

We've all done it. You know what? Give them the limp fish if you want to get back. Oh, yeah, the limp fish. Also, I'm sorry, but you're a general in this harmony. Do you really think you're the only one who has had to fucking deal with a shitty boss? I know the last one was great and all. And that's nice for you.

And you took you in as a son and gave all his power. This guy is going to give you that same power and not burn. and kill and crucify your kids and wife. If you just fucking let him be. He's a Caesar. You're all going to hell for all the murders you've done. You know what it means? You might as well

enjoy it. That's true. It's all going to burn. So Lucilla pledges her fealty here. It's kind of a great like she slaps him in the face and then kisses his hand and it's just like, Hail Caesar. That's disinterested, but that was enough for

him, you know this guy's heart as a rock. Don't worry about that. And then he, it's so great because he goes to Quintus, like Russell Crow's all in chains and stuff, he's about to get executed. He's like, just please spare my wife and kiddies. Yeah, nothing I can do about that, pal. Yeah. That's a set in

stone. It's cold, right? Your family will meet you in the afterlife. Yeah, that's fucking tough to hear. And he tells these guys like, I'm sorry, ride till dawn and then execute him. All right, I will send my two greatest warriors,

Fatso and Slobo. Like, I don't know, dude. This guy is the greatest general you've ever seen. He's decapitating dudes. He's got a super dog. Let's get four fucking dudes out there. Get somebody who's not looking after a jar

with a bee in it. Just try to find somebody else. These aloof guys on their horses, I'm surprised they weren't eating like sub sandwiches or like hoagies or whatever. Dude, yeah, again, just you have this big gladiatorial epic. just show me a dude on a horse

eating a huge sandwich that hasn't been invented yet. Please just do it. It would be so great. No, no. It's like Marie Antoinette. It's for artistic reason. Right, yeah. It doesn't make sense, but it's fine. Anybody hear something? It's like, Maria Antoinette did the music. They just do the food in this.

So it's just like, oh, thank you, Proximo for the full-sized Snickers bar. Maximus is eating chicken tendies, and he's just fucking slobbing sauce on it. Yes, exited pizza, but. My final meal is Marcus Aurelius shall be pizza bites. Did you know that the Coliseum has a Buffalo Wild Wings now? Let us drink these prime energy drinks now, together, brother.

You have truly not lived until you've done all you can eat garlic palm wing night at Buffalo Wild Wings. Actually, if you go, it's kind of hidden the Coliseum, but there is a Mubufuco chicken stand, and it's actually, the sandwiches are quite, I would love this. This is an indictment of sports bars and sports stadiums. Like

someone's got to say something and gladiator had a chance. They did. But so it's kind of great. He asks for like he's like give me a soldier's death which is like they're about to decapitate him like kind of long ways which is a smart move. He gives you some distance from the dude. He's like, nah, give me the thing where

you like you put the blade right on my neck and it's like all right if that's what you want big guy. Right. Give me the 180 AD Civ Kvork method of just stabbing down my neck. Oh, man, and he just flips this sword. It's so

fucking great, and he's like, the frost. Sometimes it makes the blade stick, and he just breaks it open and slices this dude's face. So good. This face cut is wonderful. He throws the sword at one of these other Pictorians on a horse. I love the shot

of the sword just flying at this guy. Yeah. It's great. And this is, I mean, Crow's great in this. This is a great. I mean, I don't think of this. It's your classic Oscar for the wrong movie. Obviously, it should be the insider. Right. Oh, boy. Without a doubt. But you know, you're right. I mean, I like this movie a bit, but like, you're right. This is not the one to leap awards on. I mean, I think like, yeah, especially you're looking, you're like, oh, man, we totally fucking biffed last year, you guys. Like, that was the insider. That was the one. We got to say we're

sorry to Russell. Yeah. Yeah, you got to make up for that one. By the way, Hollywood has yet to do it. I know they're making bad decisions left and right. You have yet to fully harness Fat Crow. And I don't know how you are not doing this. I mean, unhinged. Unhinged. Thank you. Unhinged. Thank you. It's very good.

Has anyone seen Land of Bad or is it just me? I have not. I haven't heard of that. Have you seen it, Chris? I have not. I know what it is. I think you guys should check it out because he's just like, he's like it's Big Crow being a big drone operator. I mean, the politics are all screwy, but I

actually think he's good in the role. in me. I'm looking at Russell Crow's filmography. Looking at Fat Crow's photography, obviously. Thank you. He was in WrestleMania 39 as Father Gabriel Amorth. Yes, he came in. No, they did a Pope's

exorcist's thing at WrestleMania 39. Yes, they did. That's amazing. I had no idea. That's my boy. That's my beautiful boy. You know, he's not Fat Russell Crow in that poker face movie, but I'm telling you guys, that is a stupid city secret movie that you should definitely

definitely check out. He's also going to be in this year slash last year slash two years ago is Craven the Hunter. Oh yeah. Finally. Yes. That's right. He's a big Papa Craven. That's right. He's the father of Craven?

Yeah. Wow. And dude, you better believe he's doing like a pseudo fucking Russian accent in it. He doesn't get a shit. He was having a great time. Hell yeah. So what's going on? What's this movie here? I'm looking he's got something else this year that's maybe

already sleeping dogs? I don't know what that is. It's him, Karen Gillen. Oh, Tommy Flanagan, who's also in this movie. There you go. It says, an ex-homicide detective with memory loss, oh, Jesus, is forced to solve a brutal murder only to uncover chilling secrets from his forgotten past.

Wait, what? I forgot my past. Well, this is, what's weird about Crowe is this is sort of his miracle run, obviously. Like, it's the insider, it's gladiator, proof of life, beautiful mind, Cinderella man, master of commander. I don't think you can leave the destruction of the Meg Ryan Dennis Quaid marriage out of that run. That's a good point. You need to, that has to be filed in between there somewhere.

That was just amazing work. Incredible stuff. I should say it starts at 97 with LA Confidential. Yes. That's his big American brain. He's incredible in that. Great, great. For what it's worth, for what it's worth, in the circles that this movie is for, mystery Alaska is a big deal.

Yes. Oh, really? From 99. I still have not seen that one. Well, because, I mean, it's a hockey movie. So it's like you gotta, you gotta give a shit about hockey movies. It's a very hockey. I mean, I like Miracle.

I think, yeah. No, I mean, honestly, you might, if you like Miracle, you might want to check out Mystery Last. It's kind of interesting, though, because he was a little older when he broke because he was like a full-on movie star in Australia first. I would, I would argue that Quick in the Dead in 95 was also good. A big, big role for him, breaking through. Him, Sharon Stone. He's the villain against fucking Denzo Washington. I love that.

the more distance you put I know he's good in it the more distance you put between new stuff and romper stomper is probably for the better which I have seen but I guess because he was older

I feel like that miracle mile ends a little early for some reason you know what I mean and then he just sort of turns into fat crow at some point he plumps up there's not as many rolls

for like a big old daddy a big daddy I think the last time like body of lies with Decaprio and another Royal Ridd production. That's the blood. What are they doing in that movie?

It's like CIA or something. CIA, I think it's in Iraq, like, during the war. Yes, I actually did not see that one yet. You would love that one. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. Yeah, it's a really fun movie. Yeah, wow.

Yeah, the filmography is just wild on this fella, right? And then Robin Hood, which apparently that Robin Hood movie was originally pitched as like Nottingham. Yes. The perspective of the sheriff of Nottingham. which had been an interesting thing. Really a good idea. I think he was supposed to play, Nottingham, but I guess you got retooled to him playing Robin Hood,

which is just weird. And Oscar Isaac is like the evil, Prince John. And I need to rewatch it. I remember not like him. I'm sure it's very good. But, yeah, so, like, this is where he gets his Oscar, which is totally fine.

I mean, he got some good stuff right here. Like, all this stuff about him, like, praying for his family and, like, all those moments. We have a little bit of here where he's camping out and he's been injured in the battle a little bit. And so he's camping out. There's an amazing shot right here

and I'm pretty sure it's all real of him. It's like this big, wide, vast, like panoramic shot of a mountain range. And in like the lower left is Russell Crow sitting like by the fire as the sun. Like he basically rides the horse until like sun up to sundown. The horse falls over. He sets up camp and there's

this fucking stunning shot of him just sitting by the fire and this beautiful mountains in the background. It's awesome. You know what I also love is him and his civvies, like this brown potato sack. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And he gets he doesn't shave anymore. Like he looks overgrown. He gets some little scruff on him.

Yeah. And his hair goes out a little bit. He doesn't have quite the Caesar haircut. But he's just too late. He gets there. He gets there like the day of. I love I love that seeing that kid get run down by a horse. That's what my favorite thing is. it's brutal because, like, he sees all the guys coming towards the, you know, the house and

whatever. And he's like, oh, father, father, father. And these fucking Roman centaurians just run this kid down. Oh, Jesus. If you divorce that from context and just play that clip, it would be as funny as the Mac and Me video. Yep. 100%. It's about on par. I burst out laughing this morning. Because, like, in, in context, also, Walker said I have AIDS. Isn't really that funny But if you take it out of the Walker, Texas Ranger movie and just play the Haley Joel

Osmet clip, it's very funny. Yes. He also has, Maximus has a great like, because he's sitting around and he's praying about the family and he's back on the horse or whatever. And you see him have this moment where he realizes, oh, like, that little turd probably sent dudes

to my house already. And he's got a great like, oh fuck. And he's like, yeah, yeah, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. And look, we don't see, we just see the feet, the charred little feetlands on least the kid and the mother. It's bad. And it's crazy, too, because the feet are dangling and, you know.

They don't know it. Well, they're dead. They don't know they're dangling nothing. I mean, their last moments, though, they probably did know it was happening. Right. Your family's going to feel the dangle right before they pass. I want to talk to these at-home crucifying company guys because the feet are not attached to anything. And if I know my Jesus crucifixion,

that motherfucker got one right through both feet simultaneously. I think that that they gave him like the royal treatment. Like when you go to the car wash and you're like, give me the number five like I want all of it. But then the cue is long so they make it a little quicker. Now we're just doing the arms to hang them up. All you need is the arms. It's close enough.

It sort of looks like a cross. Am I wrong? You're not going to give the crown. The crown of thorns is just, again, that's the number five. The number five comes with the crowd of thorns. Oh, man, forget about it. You want the number five.

You want the crown of thorns. You want the INRI up there. We'll write that in for you. I can give you the number six. We pierced your side with the spear. You get to decide which side it's on, all right? You can decide which side the spear goes. Do you want them to cup the blood when it's pouring?

Okay, you want the cup. Okay, that's the number seven. All right. I just talked to my manager, and he said that you can get the crown of thorns with the number four, but you're going to have to pay extra. You have to get it as a combo. You understand. And you've got to get three different things in there.

One, you can't, you can't just buy a single issue, you understand. You got to go inside, buy some fake tattoos out of that stupid vending machine. Then you could get the crown, yeah. You know, us directors, we always talk. We always take tips from one another. And actually, the foot shot, it's a famous shot from my gladi. Hi, there, I'm Richard Scott. And I was talking to a wonderful director named Quentin Tarantino when I was making this film.

And he said, feet are like characters, you understand? They can be stinky and dirty, and they can just wiggle around. And I thought that was real. And so I thought, you know, the last thing he sees is the feet. That's their last bit of character. Amazing. It's just, well, I guess I brought that all up to just say that I thought they were hanged. Yes.

Because you just see feet kind of floating. But there's no sway. Yeah. But then he says later on, They were crucified. Yeah, that's, you learned later in the movie, what the deal is. But he's getting up there. We've got, and I think this may have one of the Oscar, you guys.

We got fucking snot all over the place for him. Dude, you're getting snot on the dead feet. And you're just falling asleep at the grave of your dead wife and son. And I'm like, you clearly do not give a shit if you live or die. Isn't that a passout, though? Because he's, like, wounded. He is wounded. I think he, like, just drops.

I believe so, yeah. because he rode all as fast as he could to see if they were dead and sure enough they are. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh shit, fuck, oh shit. Which one of them is dead? And then he's taken. You're about to be taken.

You're about to be taken as a slave by the Roman Empire. He's taken and you're going to meet Jimon Hansu as Juba. Well, what was going on was he went with the grocery store, you understand. And then when he came back, there was a zip tie on the side of his horse.

Oh, yeah. Yep, that's a sign. And that was it. That's it. That's it. That's it. He got taken just like that. Happens every day. I saw that. puppet show the

sound of fury a bunch of puppets lights and stuff shadow play oh yes that that lantern show really opened my eyes to all the child abduction that's going on around Rome

but yes he is taken by and he entered a great gym on Hansu and the great finale for Oliver Reed he's so good at this movie amazing I love this I mean this is a way

you want to introduce your character You start talking about how he's pissed and wants his money back because you gave him queer giraffe. Yes. That is a way to introduce a character. It is amazing. This fucking complaining that this guy is doing here. And this is, we're told at

this point, this is in Zucabar a Roman province. And yeah, this is Oliver Reed as Proximo. And it's just like, those giraffes won't fuck, you sold me, queer giraffes. Yeah, we're going back and forth about he's got some new slaves. You know, You'll love them, blah, blah, blah.

And he's about to pop this guy's nuts. He's got a real grip on him down there. Nice. Did you guys see who this fella is here? No. The nutty. The guy playing the giraffe salesman. He's getting balls squows right here.

That's the nutty. The actor is Omid Jalali. And he's the dude from the mummy just a year prior to this. He's like the jailer that's holding Brendan Fraser at the beginning. and she convinces him to like let him out and they can go find the treasure or whatever it's the same the bugs get in him yes yep and according to him uh what do you call there alvarid really grabbed his nuts like really had his nuts and advice oh jeez I love that no CGI just straight up not grabbing up your dick without yeah if you if it is truly your final days you know what I let it go

you know it's fine I agree that this guy's probably drunk you know and you Look, this is a guy. He's living the role. He's in, you know, the brood. The devils for crying out loud. Pit the pendulum. I mean, the guy's just been, he was in a ton of great movies. And it's like, I don't know, man, if that guy wants to squeeze my balls and it's going to make the scene better, I trust him.

He's a legend. Absolutely. Let him squeeze your balls. Well, apparently he was like so on the outs with the alcoholism at this point. Like, they had to beg to take him. or like people were on his bath he wouldn't obviously because he had what's like they basically his thing was like I'll only drink on the weekends yes you know wait a minute what's what's this in this IV this smells like yep

potato liquor okay Oliver that's enough all right of course he died let him have his medicine he died on his off day at a bar and he saw a bunch of sailors and they challenged him to a drinking contest or had a heart attack. Drinking himself to death with sailors. You can't drink with the sailors at your age, fella, you know? And he was 61. This is, look at him in this

movie, it's a hard 61. Oh, yeah. Dude, he was only 61 years old. Yes, that's. Holy Shit. He went out doing what he loves, okay? You leave him alone. That's right. Kids just smoke weed. I mean, like, you know, a cocktail,

you know, of course. I'm not, I'm not, You do both, dude. You should do these days. Everybody remembers him as Lonegan in the Sting, too, right? Of course. Of course we do. I do remember. He's really fun at Tommy, which I just rewatched a couple months ago. You know, I've still never seen it. It's a fun little movie. It's not great, but it's fun. I mean, nothing. I've seen Tommy Boy. Nothing is going to beat that devil's performance. That is just off the fucking charts. And the brood is a great movie. We should do it on the WLM feed. It's, But I want a spinoff.

He's not in and enough. Honestly, like, he's doing crazy Charles Xavier slash cult shit. And the brood. A touch unexplored. The brood reminds me of how I grew up. It's very similar. I mean, but, like, look, you can't, I agree with you, Steve. But, I mean, you need to have a little bit of boring husband.

You'd have to have, like, some nice, good portions of boring husband. He is, he's stiff Canadian. So, yes, he's proximo. he gets all of these slaves, which includes Jew and Huntsu. Rolf Mueller is one of these slaves. Yes. Yes. You might remember him from Best of the Best, too, as Brackus,

owner and operator of the Coliseum. I was going to say, more of a beer fest man, myself with this fellow. Oh, is this guy in Beerfest? I think he's one of the Germans in Beer Fest. He's friends with Schwarzenegger. I think he pops up in a lot of stuff. Later on, when, you know, when we finally get, you know,

into the real deal Coliseum and it's like, oh, we'll redo the Battle of Carthage. I'm like, that guy can't be on that team. He's going to win. He's eight feet tall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And made out of muscle. Yeah, not a lot of

legit casting for these historical reenactments they're doing here. Now we're in like backwater gladiator games. There's a great montage about like, you know, a lot of you are going to just die. we expect you all just die immediately you know what I mean when you die and you will

it will be the sound of that you hear and he's just like clapping politely gladiators I salute you he does the big speech for them as your mother was at the beginning I shall be at your end that whole thing it's really nice yeah it's a beautiful little moment nicely nicely said by him but Maximus

refuses to participate in Gladiator Academy because they have Gladiator Academy and he's like it's Who's sucking my car Maximus? Who put this glue in the shampoo bottle? And then oh my God

Classic prank Gman Huntsu an actor with more dignity in the universe but it's just doing like car noise and shit that is more or less More or less what he's doing in those Shazam movies. Oh, dude, that's the second Shazam film, wow.

I hope he got made, I hope he made $2 trillion in that movie. Me too. He did not. Damn it. Look out, Maximus. There is a tiger behind you. Roar, roo. It's just, it's and shadows.

Yeah, Frank Welker was in Gladiator. Look at the credits. but so yeah they're but yes but even in his in his first battle he does he realized he's going to do it because he does the thing that he does

before the battle which is grab the the dirt and like rub it on his hands kind of get him right for what's going on his whole ritual there this like this initial arena fight is fun because it's like the lower budget version of the Coliseum so you have like a cow man like not a full

metal thing but like a cow face this is great love that shit and they're just you know like it's kind of great because like you know this is proximo is was a once a coliseum gladiator now it's like when you when you're out of the WWF and now you're just doing regional

shit you know what I mean you're doing backyard wrestling matches exactly yeah no it's definitely like a fucking lower tier wrestling story for the start of like his journey back to the top and it's awesome it's like yes we're not going going to be out on the main territory there.

That's where Vince McManichus runs everything. We have to stay down here with the swamp people. And yes, that guy's just wearing a real bull's head that he cut off moments ago. They let you know that you can see yourself on screen, fellas. Don't worry about it. There is a guy who's pissing himself before he is quickly dispatched. Dude, this is a coliseum. Amazing moment because we have the gladiator equivalent of like a Jerry Seinfeld

getting disgusted by something because like you see this dude he's like a little weaner he just starts pissing himself and it cuts to you're looking at russell crow and maximus is like he makes his face like ugh it kind of like takes a step back i got to this guy i got to be like hey can i talk to proxamas i'm not a gladiator can i can i clean your house you know what i mean like yeah i'm a slave i get it totally slave for the rest of my life what do you what do you need me to do you need a clown to run around and do that do you know exactly stuff in while the fight's happening. Like those

rodeo things I hear about in America, 180 AD America. Tell me what you want me to suck is the question. I'm not going to make it through. Number one. I'm not going to make it through my first gladiator thing, which he does not. It's actually him and Ralph Mueller are attached to each other. And it's

kind of amazing. He dies immediately. And Ralph Mueller just cuts the hand off. That's the end of that. Now, what if I'm not much of a fighter, you see, but what if I was one of the guys that I walked with the gladiators into the arena and I was responsible for getting all the audience very excited when the gladiator comes into the circle what do you think about that kind of like like a hype man thousands of years

what if I invented the first water boy these guys need to hydrate I can true I can go to the trough and get little little vases for them and whatever they need now I do want to get people hyped and everything, but I really should be straight with you. I don't know how to rap. I don't know. Rhyme, scheme is just not my thing, really. So if we could just go like, hey, good job, everybody. If that

would work for you, then, you know, that's yeah, maybe. There's actually one trick I could do, Proxima. What do you think about this? I can raise my voice up and say things like, oh, no, here comes the mighty Maximus. Oh, the Spaniard.

Look out for the danger. a Spaniard. Well, they hit it immigrants back then, too. Proximo puts a curse on him. He just looks like that afterwards. The great Paul Bearer. He, but yeah, they win their first match pretty heartily. Proximo's like, say, you know.

He's hot. We got some money here with this guy. And we're kind of going back and forth with basically that Comodius's first trip to the Senate does not go terribly well. he's telling Derek Jacoby to go fuck himself essentially he doesn't really it's almost like a Harry and the Henderson's like get out of here

nobody wants you in the Senate anymore go on go home he's playing with his sword and like I will cut your head off if you tell me to do something again you get a little bit of like I guess it's supposed to be is it like Commodus is like coronation or whatever where he's coming in like he goes to Rome

and this like a bunch of people are yelling at him and like calling him usurper and the crowd there's like a go away, chance. You'll never rule us. Yeah, it's a tough one. Pretty awesome. Get ready for that in January.

This is like, you get some of this Rome CGI right here, but a lot of, I was noticing a lot of this movie is still matte paintings, which looks nice. We got some matte paintings here and there, but we do to make like the city of Rome, you know, like the fun downtown, where the Coliseum is. Those are, that's, it's a lot of digital stuff there. Yeah. But he's basically, he realizes, like, to control Rome, you've got to control the mob itself. I call it love.

I am going to be their daddy. You know what? There are too many books, and scrolls, they're boring. Everybody knows it. Scrolls, we hate them. We hate them so much. He is bitching to Derek Jacoby. He's like, I don't understand why all these people who work for me have to sit around and read and learn things.

you should be doing stuff why aren't you doing things isn't there a group of people we could just get them to hate isn't that easy how do you do who do you got here we got rid of the Germans

fuck you know what you told me there are people who have plague perfect we hate the plague havers that's what we hate because he says like

I call it love I'm their father I will embrace them to my chest or whatever and then yeah Derek Jacoby's like you ever embrace someone dying of the plague sire

and he's like you ever interrupt me again I'm gonna kill you The tension is there And she has to break it up And she's basically like she's trying to You know hold everything together Like hey you know

No he's a good guy He's just tired And this is like his big idea They're like all right so you know Common is what's going on man like what do you think we should do You're the new emperor and he's like How about get this So hear me out

To honor my dead father who I definitely did not murder 150 straight days of games yeah now that's a baseball season and you got people fucking people check it out people are on their phones in the stands yeah except for that one guy with the pencil and the whole thing and pull it out the board oh yeah he's putting every fucking pitch down

absolutely really appreciate those baseball nerds man because that is a level of fandom I just can't achieve it's just a huge commitment yep no it's it's a lot it's really a lot but he's uh yeah he's just sucking shit like in this meeting and this is yeah this is where it's all about the people of rome are my children blah blah blah 150 days of games the beating heart of rome is not the marble of the senate it's the sand of the coliseum he will bring them death and they will love him for this is when jacobie is having a

very bitchy lunch with his friend and oh yeah talking shit about all this stuff and like gnoshing on some bread. That's awesome. I love a good like wine, you get some wine, you have a little bitch fest in the afternoon. Totally. Bitch sash, total bitch sash. Absolutely. No, you know what? No, we're going to get another order of the olive oil and vinegar

and the bread. We're going to have another one of those. Did you see what he was wearing? Come on. I will say, oh man, I do have to say, Oliver reads a wardrobe in this phenomenal, that what they got this guy in. He's got a beautiful like Cerulean

a head wrap at one point just looks phenomenal it's really great looks cozy that is it's yeah it's Gracchus Derek Jacoby talking with that rotten fucking Falco man

so they yeah they have that you know he'll bring them death and they'll love him for it we cut to we're talking about death we cut to fucking Russell Crowe just in the cage sharpening the sword he gets called out and immediately just starts fighting

and he makes short work of these fucking dudes this is right out of the trailer I remember this when he gets the double swords going on now you're fucked buddy he's able to decapitate that boar face the big boy mask guy it's great but this is what Oliver Reed has to pull him aside it's like dude

you're doing like the Ken Shamrock thing like sure you got all the moves where's the where's the Padesh yeah yeah Ken Shamrock man not much of a personality on the world's dangerous man exactly dude he had all the moves he just didn't have it you know Maximus you must listen to me

a man who has a pet hyena I know what I'm talking about that's fucking hyena rules it's great but this is the fight that after he dispatches all these gladiators he's like are you not entertained he throws a sword up at the rich people is this why you're not here he spits

on the ground like a spaniard great opening for that Jay Z song on the black album I forget which one it is I feel like in the crowd is like are you not I am at no I am entertained am I not and am Is he asking us?

Wait a second. Is he entertained or are we? Let's look up with a jumbo trotron. That should help us out. You know what? I'm not not entertained. No, I am. Oh, fuck.

During the seventh inning stretch, the Coliseum asks you and invites you to figure out if you're entertained. We're getting a yes. We're hearing yes from the crowd. If we're entertained and he isn't, then hold on. Hang, all right, hang on a second. But what is his definition of entertainment? That's the other thing we haven't figured out.

By the way, coming up after the game, a puppet show about a fat guy with a pretty wife. Tune in right here after the game. The first one. The first one, yeah. Coming up after the ball game, it's a new puppet show about a fat guy who hates his hot wife and is tired of having sex with her for some reason.

And next Sunday, we are going to premiere Who can make a robe? We can't wait for you to see this fantastic new competition show. Yeah, and then after dark, of course, the lantern shown the X-Files about Xerxes life. Remember him? Xerxes from, you know, they fought the Greeks. The 300 guy. Yeah, you know, that's late night show here after the game.

But, yeah, this is, Proxima calls him to. his apartment after this and he's like you know uh the the the act is being asked to go on the road here we have been invited to play the coliseum baby he gives this whole thing about like this is i was once a gladiator the emperor gave him this wooden sword you knew marcus aurellius you assail you did not shut up no i swear i did no you know what let me you know what he's in canada right now okay so you i can't really get him here to tell you that but i met him in canada it is so funny oliver reed giving this delivery because he quips right back and he's like i didn't say i knew him i said he touched me on the shoulder once that's great uh but yeah so he says he gives

maximus the best most important uh tip for being a gladiator right here he's like look man it doesn't matter if the emperor loves you the crowd has to love you if the crowd loves you you will gain your freedom because the emperor will not be able to kill you because you're such a beloved figure and he don't want to look like an asshole. Unless you want to have a career as a heel. You want to be a heel, on the other hand,

then yes. Let the fate flow through you. Well, the Arunton Entertainment is a little stone coldy, a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's absolutely true. but so he do we get to the Coliseum now he's he realizes somebody might recognize me

so I'm going to wear this extra cool fucking metal mask which I love actually it's fucking boss it's the MF Doom mask the MFU mask is the best it looks so cool and this is the it's going to be the Battle of Carthage and it's kind of amazing because like

what you call it like Proxima was really exciting I got my great gladiators here but like they're kind of set up as jobbers year for the Battle of Carthage and it's like Yep, yep We know how this is gonna go They're not gonna make it It's like yeah

This big fat guy's like well too fucking bad You know What I'm you're paying me fucking nothing And I'm giving you tiger food I like That's not a good thing for me buddy Uh You know

We are introduced to this This big fat guy MC Cassius by the way Because he's he's telling Proxima to fuck off Because Proxima's like You know You bring me all the way here and you just want to kill off all my best gladiators like i better get a fucking better rate for that and this dude does a real you'll get the same and like it yes totally yeah totally but did you

guys catch who this is he's unrecognizable in this movie this the guy playing cassie is the big fat emcee with the makeup and the wig and the fucking big tweezed eyebrows is david hemings who's the guy from blow up and uh barborella barborella i always laugh at because his character is dildonno And then he's also in, I believe, Deep Red is the Jallo that he's in also. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So this, it was kind of, I was like, he looks kind of familiar. And I looked it up and it was like, dear God.

I definitely, for a very long time, had him saying, Barbarian, oh, stuck in my head for a while. He's good in this, says this guy. He's good. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, oh, it is, just to confirm there, it is, he's in the 1975's Deep Red, the Argento movie. Incredible movie.

But yeah, so here comes the barbarian horde. My God, it's a barbarian horde, king, can you believe? I mean, emperor, can you believe it? And, you know, Maximus is like, hey, who here was in the army? And everyone's like, me.

And it's like, okay. So we know army shit. We, you know, we fight together, we'll win, which they do. And it's a really cool. The sequence rules, you know, a lot of that, like, I love a joined shield scenario.

always a big fan yeah they're joining all those shields together repelling those arrows and then like moving them strategically like when the chariot comes to like kick that shit up into the air that's pretty red and you know who else is a hiding in a bunch of shield formations everybody in lord of the rings this was another moment where i was like there's elves shooting those arrows at them i can't wait for maximus to get the ring to mount pompey when the uh when the the the cart flips over. I love it so much because all these carts have the cool like spikes that stick out of them. I just realized it's Vesuvius. Right? Poppe was just the town. It was like, that's like the Frankenstein's monster thing. You could understand.

Yeah, no, totally. The whole like spikes on the wheel thing reminded me last week, maybe a couple weeks ago, I was driving back from Jersey. I went out to a liquor store out there. I'm coming

I'm coming back and there's a little it was like an early afternoon on a Friday so like the bridge traffic on the way back into the city shouldn't have been bad but there was a little bit of a backup but I'm like what's going on? I get to like right past the toll area where like you're all sort of it's basically folks at home if you haven't ever driven

across the George Washington Bridge from New Jersey to New York City I mean try your best not to but it's basically once you cross the toll it's like 12 lanes converging into four so it can be like kind of fucked up but at this moment the the big hubbub and the delay was because there was a big ass tractor trailer that had those fucking tire spike things and wouldn't you know it a tesla drove too close to it and this truck

destroyed this car all i could think about is in back to the future too when marty's like oh we should just land the delorean on biff and doc's like oh he's driving a 1940 whatever we're in a you know 1980, DeLorean, he'd cut through us like butter. Like, that's what happened. Like, this, this tractor trailer just destroyed this piece of shit, Tesla, and it was amazing. We need more of these spikes on these wheels. Spikes! I hate spikes!

It was like I was watching gladiatorial combat on the road, man. It was awesome. But, yeah, Maximus, at one point, saves Hagen is the dude from Best of the Best. Right, Ralph Mueller. But I think my favorite kill in this movie happens in this scene because one of the carriages that the horses are, you know, racing everybody around is this awesome lady that's just an archer and she's sniping all these dudes left and right.

And she gets fucking knocked off. And the spike, the trailers, tractor trailer, the wagon wheels spike or whatever just cuts this woman and has. Oh, great. And you got like other, you got, backup women archers that are also coming out and Maximus ride around on this horse cutting their throats. Oh yeah,

just murdered ladies left and right. There's a, yeah. There's a gladiator version of the kill in King of New York where the guy meets the fire hydrant. Like this, one of the carts is like going straight against the wall and the lady's head is like right out front

and whoop right against it. Oh, it's awesome. Just like a fucking grape. It's so good. Well, Comedus and the kid run down to look at this, you know. You do have these classic shots of Joaquin reacting to, they feel like trailer moments of him, like, responding to the horror we're seeing. And he's at first a little annoyed that, you know, obviously the Battle of Carth is just that exactly,

he's like, I don't remember this going on in the Battle of Carthage, hello. And it's like, okay, it's a little pissed, but then, you know, obviously he's going to go with the crowd. The crowd loves it. So he now loves it. I think I'll meet him this Spaniard. And yeah, this is like he's refusing to fucking take the helmet off. You know, it's like, the emperor wants to meet you. I'm at the emperor's service.

Maybe I should put an accent. I'm a Mandalorian, okay? Does anybody have a marker? I want a fake mustache in here. Yeah, exactly. He takes the arrow under his, like, arm there. He's going to try to kill him. but this doesn't come to pass.

He turns his back on Comedus and that's like, what? That's a bad situation. It's a big no-no. Then he reveals himself and it's like, Combinus is in a rock, between a rock and a hard place here

because the crowd loves it. Crowd fucking loves it. My name is Maximus, commander of the armies to the north, father to a murdered son, husband, to a murdered wife and I will have vengeance in this life or the next.

The crowd loves them also. It's live, live, live, live, live. Yes, the owner of a ruined son. farm uh yes owner of a ruin farm i mean the owner of of many a horse well that's what this movie has kind of entered that same like uh not quite the same as scarface but that hyper masculine arena like they all think they are maximus like in their heads like people are watching this because i read somewhere like this little speech he gives the commonist is like one of the most loved pieces of dialogue ever like by who assholes like some there was like an imdb

poll or something they did oh so assholes well yes mostly assholes but like they all got into this and but you know in their heads because like they didn't actually go through what fucking maximus went through so they're just saying like a husband of a divorced wife a father of an unseen son yeah father to a son who hates me older of unvaccinated semen Possessor of tens and tens of DVDs. Well, actually, I mean, this scans, if you remember Sopranos, this was the great Joey Pants Ralphie's favorite movie. He would always quote it.

Like, it was like, they both for like loserdom, but also like probably late gay stuff too, you know? Perfect. I mean, it's perfect for Ralphie. I mean, that I forgot all about that. That's so good. Was Ralphie supposed to be a closet case on that show? Did they play it around with that a little bit?

They never came out one way or another, but there was a little bit of that going on. Was he around at the same time of the show's veto? Did they do it that way? Yeah, he didn't have anything to do with it, but it was always just sort of like he would, again, you quote gladiated this much. It's like, what's that guy's deal? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so everyone is shitting their pants over this reveal. It's kind of awesome. Like, Lucilla's totally shut. My God, it's Maximus. Oh, my God.

Maximus is at Somerslam. Maximus is at Somerslam It's crazy It's like if like, you know Once they fired David Petraeus If he was just fighting to the death on TV Dude Give it a couple months

He should Yeah yeah He should absolutely do that My God Maximus is at Somerslam And the Pope's Exorcist is at WrestleMania My God Who could have imagined

That this would happen A Coliseemanium He just spit in the face of Emperor MacMann. MacManamus. Yeah, Vince McNamis, absolutely. So now his days are numbered. Wouldn't you know it?

Lucilla, Connie Nielsen wants to go see him in his quarters. She basically is like, listen, there's kind of a resistance thing. We're getting together here. Just the beginnings of one. I got a buddy named Jared Jacoby. He'd love to meet you. It's not sexual. I guarantee.

He gives her some shit, though. She's like, hey, man, I've been like a prisoner in fear too. you know, I'm living in terror every day with this fucking guy, you know? Yeah, totally. I mean, true. She's like, she's like, I live in fear every day. My son is the heir to the throne. Like, what the fuck is this asshole going to do to my kid? My son was innocent. So is mine.

Yes. Hell yeah. Must my son die too for you to trust me? Yes, yes, your son is dead. But my son must deal with a creepy uncle who is always looking at him when he sleeps. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We skipped

over, but there is that scene where he's just watching this little boy's sleep and I was like those are some busy fingers. Yep. Yep. Not good. No, I was yep. Well, much like corn and limp biscuit, he looks to keep it all in the family. Yes, right.

Yes. And of course, you have to have the honorary limp biscuit. It's a Roman custom, of course, Lucius. It is very funny to me in this scene. Like, yeah, she goes to see him or whatever. He is chained to the wall like a werewolf. And it's like,

Like he can only walk so far close to her before the shackles sort of stop him. And I was like, is there full moon happening tonight? Like this is wherewolf behavior. No, but I think this is the idea is that these dudes are getting fucked on the reg. Rich ladies are like, I want to see this gladi. I want to see gladiator 45 over there. Yeah. Banging him.

Oh, yeah. No, I didn't think he's actually a were. No, I know that. Making a joke for the purposes of a comedy show. But you are right. There is a line where it's like, oh, yeah, they like to come down and have. have their pick of the Gladiator. It's their version of Fleet Week when the games are going on.

Like, it's just as many as you can. Rotten Rids getting a fucking phone call from Bob Guccione. And he's like, no, you cannot direct extra scenes from my Gladiator movie. I know what that means. But yeah, she's trying to convince him in this scene. Like, I am not down with what's going on. You know, she's, the mob is Rome. That happens in this scene.

Right. And today I saw a slave become more powerful. than the emperor. Great line that I believe is also in the trailer. Yes. And then it's like, you know, so I'm going to do whatever I can to help you. And he's basically like, you can help me by losing my fucking number. Yeah.

He's like, you know, forget you ever knew me. Yeah. Don't you dare call MXVI. That's phone numbers back. Is the next gladiator moment the great Svenolfsson bit? It is the tiger fight and it starts with the the coolest game I've ever seen

where these dudes it's because we go back to Gladiator Camp and these dudes are playing like Oh snake Trouble I guess What the fuck was that?

Snake boggle or shit It's like a cobra teasing game That's what you're doing You've got a little wooden barrel And it's filled with like A bunch of gold baby teeth Or whatever

And you turn it over And spill all your baby teeth all over the table. And then there's a snake who's watching all the players and you have to pick up your baby teeth and get them back in the barrel without getting bit by this snake. What an insane thing that looks awesome. Rattlesnake roulette.

Ah! That's what they call it in Arizona. Right. Yeah, this is different. This might be an ASP play. I don't know. It's fun getting bit by a cobra. And so, yeah, basically him, Jim and Huntsu and Ralph Mueller are having a good time here. There's a fun bit about, like, they test his food. Oh, yeah, is this poison chili or not, says Ralph Mueller?

But yes, the next thing. So because, you know, oh, my God, we've got this guy. He's the best fucking glad he ever seen. How are we going to put him down? Why don't we get a guy out of retirement for 10 years who's just fucking fat now? Old. We want old. Let's go for old. It's like, oh, man, how are we going to stop this new fucking basketball player?

Let's get Michael Jordan back in there. No, his knees are shit. It's been fucking 10 years. Oh, my God. He's not the top of his game. I know exactly how the Yankees could have won the World Series a couple weeks back. Bring Donnie baseball back. Where the fuck was Mattingly?

And you know what? We got to bring back DiMaggio. Oh, he's a corpse. Oh, I didn't remember that. I'm sorry. Sir, most of these players have been dead for 90 years. Remember that fucking Smithers line is? But fight them.

Fight them in the ring. But this is a great Sven Olitha. Tigris of gall. He was the only undefeated combatant, by the way. I love. Which I guess is a selling point, even though he's a big back guy. Well, he's retired. He's very thick.

He was back on his farm, you know. Flowering his wife and fields, drinking wine, have grapes and the whole nine yards. But I love this look. I love the mask. Oh, the mask is great. Always loves his mask. I mean, I do like that they also make this look. Like, Ridley clearly knows what he's doing here.

Like, they have them passing out bread the way you do, like, T-shirt cannons at, like, monster truck rallies are throwing bread at these people. It's amazing. You know, Sven loves to talk about being a gladiator being directed by the great Ridley Scott. I was going to be directed by Ridley Scott and alien, you understand. but I was going to do the John Hurt role, but they realized my pecks were too strong that even an alien wouldn't be able to burst through it, you understand? So then they got little John Hurt in there.

I was saying to him, I was like, look, the xenomorphs blood might be able to get through the hull, but it ain't going to get through these biceps, buddy. Of course, I secured my dream and was directed by Sir Ridley Scott when I played a winemaker in a good year. Yep, let me taste that for a second before you take your own ship. Yeah, that's a good year.

Oh, yeah, here's some Baroro for you. Here it comes. Yep, smells pretty good. Better chug the whole bottle just to be saying. I guess, hey, Sly, you prefer a table of red, right? Like under the table because you're looking at poo and blood or whatever. Yeah, man, that's not funny, man. I drove you to that gladiator audition.

This year is a Peanuts Noir. It's a crime wine, kind of. I told you for the last time, I'm not paying you any gas money. I was like, where's the audition happening, Jesse? And you were like, well, it's right up the road a little bit, shot. And then I was like, okay, cool. And we got it in my car. And it took 75 minutes.

All right, so, no, I'm not paying gas. You could get ass or grass. Your choice, buddy. Well, I guess you're facing that situation, man. It's got to be grass. I'm not paying. And I'm not paying you a fee of $50 just because there wasn't a glass table there. Okay, buddy, you just calm down there.

Hold your horses. Now, this is the only best picture winner that Sennel Thorson is in. But I believe Mulrads was nominated. Of course. I think so, yes. Obvious. I think it was for a cinematography. Oh, wait.

I remember. Are we looking at the Razzies list right? Oh, shut. I'm joking. I'll tell you what. I think I mentioned this whenever we were talking. Maybe I said in the Big Dead of Disp, batch or something, but that Arrow special edition of mall rats, the 4K's got like the two

additions on it. And the second one is like, it's longer by like 30 minutes. I kind of think it's pretty solid. But a bonus about it, way more Sven Olfartner. Really? I got to watch. I have that set. I like mall rats. So I do have to go investigate that. Dude, get this 30 minutes until they get to the mall in that new. Oh, wow. Newer cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're having this fight. Spenol does a great thing where he gets to start it out right he's a classy guy he's going to come out and he's going to quote his favorite 20th century rock band ac dc and he just goes for those who are about to die we salute you yeah oh yeah and then these fucking tigers man what a great turn for this love these tigers it's so awesome like you hear wakene say something about like yeah he's going to die sooner

than that it's been arranged like the fix is in on this fight and the fix is in army of tigers. Well, yeah, an army of tigers and an old man with an axe. Like, is the master's stroke of your plan. While you have, this is also the first game that Gracchus, Jacobi, decides he wants to go to. Honestly, great pick. Like, tigers are there.

Fantastic. Yeah, oh, I came on Tiger Day. This is awesome. Oh, man. Oh, and they're handing out bread. I love when they do that. The best part about the bread, I forgot to mention it, you see it's exactly like t-shirt cannons that's a very funny observation but like the arena is

going nuts right like everybody's going crazy and what's very funny is while you still see them throwing all this stuff out rid cuts to the interior of the emperor's little like viewing paddock or whatever and wakene walks out and it's very funny because he thinks that they're cheering him as he's making his grand entrance and they're just cheering for free bread being shot out of the t-shirt Can't it? Do you dip the bread of the olive oil first or is it up to me to get my own olive oil to dip? Well, they're also throwing that out there.

Oh, okay. It's getting messy. It just got on me. I didn't save any of it. Oh, you're in the front row. Yeah, you need the poncho down here. This is the olive oil central. Yeah, oh, note to the front row, you will get oily. E-V-O-O-O-Maxomest dispatches a couple of tigers, which is hilarious. I get some tiger puppets, which are adorable. Dude, he stabs that tiger puppet.

the throat, the tiger's like, oh, God, it's great. And we got an axe to Sven's foot. This is when we also had a shield to his face there in the mask as well. Oh, right. I love that drop of blood out of the mask. And I'm sorry, considering his age, you, that wound in his foot, you got to put him down. He won't be able to make it around anymore. He's not walking after this.

You see that? It's 1-80-D. you die of a cavity he's dead anyway they're not going to be able to wrap that up but this is Maximus the Mercilus the Mercilus but it's also kind of a fuck you to Merciful. Merciful. Yes. Mercilus later when he does this

but basically you know it's a thumbs up thumbs down the crowd wants him dead you know what he's like come on Maximus kill him and that ain't going to happen to just throw in this axe casually on the ground, ooh, it's a big fuck you. That's right. Yeah, because it's a direct statement because communist is like going

with the crowd. Yeah, kill him. Yeah, yeah. And it's like a fuck you to the emperor. I love that. But I believe the emperor, the emperor comes down, right? And he's like, oh, you're causing a lot of trouble around here. And he's like, I only have one more life to take. And then this is when he's like, oh,

Maximus, may I remind you? When we called that at home crucifixion service, your son squealed and your wife, moaned like a whore when we crucified and ravaged them respectively and you know what that actually does seem to really hurt him like oh yeah Russ Crow shows it he's like oh man that actually oh yeah but it's great because the sentence that he's able to spit out like through this rage that you can see Russell Crow emanating he does such a great job of this movie he's

like well then the time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end highness this whole scene started with one of my favorite tropes in cinema, we're not so different you and I. Oh, sure. We're brothers. I mean, remember, we're brothers. I like, Joaquin has moved fully into emo mode in this

movie in this situation. Oh, sure. Like, behind the scenes, whenever we get him with Connie Nielsen, it's always like, why don't they love me? Why aren't they? You got my chemical romance blaring in the background just from seven different speakers and he's just... Tell me what to do, Black Parade. What's what?

is this? Don't they love me? I give them love. Why not? By the way, meanwhile, Tommy Flanagan is, imagine going to, you know, you go to the Yankee game. It's the middle of summer. You kind of don't want to go, but you got the ticket anywhere you go out there. And it's like, now batting, number 11, your old boss. Like your boss is like three jobs ago is just at, holy shit, that's my boss. What the fuck? Sharon, that's my boss. No, that's my boss. I have the little figures of his dead kid and wife in my purse. Like, what the fuck? Wait a minute.

That guy down there, that's the guy that wouldn't give you Christmas off? Oh, I hope that tiger kills him. Christmas, you should be crucified for worshipping that. Oh, that's true. One of my favorite scenes is one that is, I think, right here when it's Jamon Hansu and him in jail. And he's praying with the two little figurines. Yes. and he's like

he Jemontz who's like well what are you what are you telling them and he's like well I'm telling my son to ride your horse better in heaven or whatever and that's like and my wife well I'm thinking I miss your pussy all the time just over and over

and over again I'm just I miss fucking you I know sir I didn't see you playing with your dolls again no um so comethus is fucking you know whining about Maximus to this rotten Falco and Falco's like, you know, you should really just kill Maximus and then he orders the emperor does all of the senators to be followed because he's suspecting that something's going on here. Meanwhile, Maximus, much like when you sort of like try to get the quarterback's attention after the game when he's going into the tunnel, this dude

Cicero comes out and he's like, oh, hey, you know, it's me, Maximus, you remember me from the army? And, you know, he basically does like a go tell the boys where I am, blah, blah, blah. He meets up with Cicero later and he's like, hey, how quick can the boys be here? And he's like, for you, they can be ready to fight tomorrow. And he's basically like, all right, like go to Lucilla and tell her, you know, what this plan is because it's, it's going to come fast. And he tracks are down and he's like hey Maximus is good to meet with your Senate dude

just FYI gotta go by and you don't know at this point that it's Gracchus but you know that it's right of course but yeah meanwhile yeah so now everybody's being followed so Gracchus gets fucking arrested and Lucilla's like yeah basically

should say isn't going exactly as well as we wanted it to do so oops to do they do meet though right they do meet at one point and he's like you know uh he basically tells him that you know look i will be able to get the confidence of the army because once they see that i'm alive they're going to be loyal to me again they're going to be pissed off that the emperor told them that i was dead and he's like oh so uh once rome is all of yours you're just supposed to give it back to the people tell me why i you know uh should believe that he's like because that was the last

wish of a dying man is hell yeah and like i would be like hell yes i will give it back all i am trying to do, man, is go and fuck my wife in heaven. That is all I want to do. So leave me be. He wants to do that Magruber Graveyard scene so bad. That exactly. Exactly.

I'll just imagine his wife going like, oh, oh, oh. But he's got this great line where he just goes, I will kill comidus, but the fate of Rome, I leave to you. And then you get Proximo. I love Proximo complaining.

He's like, why would I want the emperor dead, dude? That guy makes me rich as fuck. Because what with me being in the flesh trade? And he's like, oh, why would you want him dead? I don't know. Maybe because he killed the man who set you free. The man who touched my shoulder? Are you serious?

You see, I, the guy who touched my shoulder. I actually knew Marcus Aurelius. I was fucking with you before. And we should say at this point, uh, commonists getting a little wise of what's going with his sister. Open your mouth.

He's got the kid and he's just like basically tell him this story about what happened to other traders in years past and it's like looking at the sister as that's happening. This is great, yes, because he's telling. They're all busy little bees. Yes, the story about Emperor Claudius

and you know, blah, blah, blah. But it's great because what sets him off is he hears the nephew playing like in the hallway and he goes out and he's like, oh, what are you a big bad Roman centaurian or whatever? And he's like, no, I'm a gladiator, a Maximus, the savior of Rome. And he stops him. He's like, who fucking said that? Who fucking said that in front

of you? It's your fault for the 150 days of games. It's like, yeah, you gave him Sega Genesis. He's going to talk about Sonic the head. We should say this is the kid is this kid, Spencer, hold on, Spencer Treat Clark, who's in Mystic River, in Unbreakable, had a good kid career. He's the villain in Mystic River Yes, yeah Yes He's who put the daughter in there He also

I mean he was on Some television show like Kind of recently for Agents of Shields it looks like Yeah we did agents of shield He was on Animal Kingdom Animal Kingdom That was the big one

He was on the new I heard it's not very good But that new Salem's Lot adaptation That Paramount Plus I'll watch it at some point I'm sure it's not very good They talk about movies being released without any fanfare

that thing just plopped right like I had no idea they were even making that is it a movie or is it a miniseries it's a movie it's a movie oh wow yeah under two hours oh look at with the Pullman boy this is the first I'm hearing about it which is wonderful yes I'm telling you

this one I was like shocked I was like oh they really did it okay it's isn't it Flanagan produced too I think somebody I don't know I don't know about that but you know Well, it's on, I was about to say, I thought it was on Paramount Plus, excuse me, that's inaccurate. It's on Max. And I guess that's why I have seen a decent amount of commercials for it, because we're going through hacks right now.

So it's that like, oh, before you watch the thing you want to watch, there's a trailer for this thing we don't really care about. Oh, but yeah, I just assumed it was a big miniseries, like the TV thing from, was that the 90s? Yeah. They, this is one of those books that, like, I, guys, I think we all have to take a break because, like, if Toby Hooper couldn't make this interesting, I don't know what to, like, there's no way to do this. You know what, you know what, though? I'm totally mixing things up here. The Toby movie is not good, but the TV movie, but yes. Yeah, but I'm thinking, the Cohen movie is pretty good.

I was thinking of the stand, though, which they adapted into multiple miniseries. I think there was one. And this was what was possibly on Paramount Plus back last year. I think like the Whopster was involved there. Like I think Whoopi was in it. Yes. That was supposed to also be terrible. They always remake that one.

But so like the kid, she's now worried about her kid. This is the night of the, like basically they're going to fucking kill everyone's going to hell tonight. It's the Order 66 of gladiators and senators. We are just icing people. This is when Oliver Reed gets murdered. By the way, he wasn't supposed to be. murdered but they had to do some

CG shit because he died on set basically. Well, so the CG stuff though is he's helping Maximus escape and this is he comes up to him in the cell or whatever and this is it is wobbly fake Tarkentown

Oliver Reed right here like it's not very good. I didn't even really notice that because I thought he was just stumbling around drunk again and then I was drunk watching this so I was like it's actually finally something looks normal I'm just watching the whole movie

with double vision that's funny Eric because I was like immediately like oh this must have been the shit they had to do right after because it looks so I remember seeing it when like opening weekend it looked totally normal on the big screen but this I was like very the minute

it happens you're like oh wow well you know the biggest tell for it because it's like we can only I feel like they were using scraps of audio that they had because the way that the conversation ends, it's not someone like doing an Oliver Reed impression. The way the conversation ends is exactly what they do in that Sopranos episode when they don't have enough stuff for her to say and she just goes, huh, that happens at the end of the scene. Like whatever it is like

Russell Crow says to like end the sequence or whatever. He's like, thank you proximo, whatever it is. They just have like the Oliver Reed cartoon face just goes like, ah. And that's it. And then you have this shot later where he's getting his little wooden freedom sort out and he just goes shadows and dust which like they must have just had a shot of him saying shadows and dust from wherever the fuck it's the shot of him saying shadows

and dust from earlier in the movie it's the same exact shot but yes he just takes that as like this is his they all come in all the centurion guards come in and they fucking stab the shit out of him like all the same time from beyond by the way he's a pincushion

he was supposed to to be the guy that actually buries the figures at the end and the whole thing. He was supposed to fight Maximus in the last scene. Could you imagine seeing that? That'd be kind of cool. I don't know how that would have been a tense fight scene whatsoever. That's true. Yeah, I don't know how that would have worked out. Does he kill Maximus? Is that how

it's supposed to end? Like, I don't know. That I don't know about, but he was, like, Maximus was supposed to fight Proximo at the end of this movie. I think that must have been when Proximo was going to be played by Jesse the body of Ventura. Oh, yeah. How else it's a fair fight between Russell Crow and Oliver Reed?

Yeah, the second time in my career, I was outdone by Oliver Reed. Can't believe it. That guy just swoop in on you. You'll never know what it's going to get you. Well, Russell, my boy, actually, I've found a new way to compete with you. The sailors at a bar this weekend taught me a wonderful competitive game that we should. That is how we will end this. Just a drinking game between two, two,

old entertainers. You know, I'm so thankful that I slept through that Oliver Reed drinking contest because honestly, I think I'd probably be six feet under with him right now. Because he could do it. I mean, you put a bottle of Kalua in front of that man. It's gone in five minutes.

And, you know, it's not even just like whiskey and bad kid. It's that peanut butter shit that he's drinking and that stuff will make you far. Have you ever heard of Gold Schlager, buddy? I was on the road with Oliver Reed and we were hitting some cities

and I tell you one time he took a cup of gasoline and drank it. I'm not kidding you, just a full gasoline cup. Yeah, if in case anyone's asking, the first time I lost out on a role to Oliver, there was when he played Roderick Usher

in the 1989 adaptation of the House of Usher, Alan Berkinshaw was the director there and it was Oliver read. Don Pleasance was in that movie. I just lost out on it, though. It was the best time of my life doing theater

with Oliver on the road, though. We did a true west for a couple of months, and it just blew the doors off of the place. You wouldn't have believed it, but we just went off each other really nice. It was something about the body types was

really interesting for the audience. But so, like, everybody's getting murdered. Tommy Flanagan gets hung here, which is kind of cool. That's pretty cool. Hagan gets destroyed. Speaking of pincushions, Hagen gets fucking like 12 arrows. Oh, yeah, he's moitered. The Cicero thing is great because

he's sitting on the horse. Like Russell Crow gets out of there and the whole thing is like, yeah, like we got it all set up for you, buddy. When you break out of jail, there's going to be a horse waiting for you in the parking lot. You can get out of there. It's all gassed up. You know, those horses is all gassed up. No plates on it. It's totally fine. We dusted it for Prince. It's all good. Definitely filed the serial number off that horse.

you're totally fun. Registration is in the horse's mouth. They'll never be able to track it. Don't worry. It's crazy though because Russell Crow like takes a step towards this dude and he's like, Maximus don't and the horse moves and this dude is hanged off the horse. Oh fuck,

that's pretty cool. And then shot as well with arrows, which is awesome. Yes. And they just arrest Maximus here. It's like, fuck, you know. And here comes our last bit here. You know, we're going to And I feel like McKeene Phoenix, you need to do a little more

If you're going to cheat, cheat better than this. This is not the best cheating in the world. Basically, it's like, I'm going to fucking fight him in the ring. I was reading a little bit of Combinus. Probably Combinus was also a gladiator. Similarly, similarly would cheat a bit to get like, you know. Oh, wow, really?

In this way, in this way of like stabbing somebody. Did he also want to fuck his sister? Because he also announces here how he wanted. her to give her, give him an heir. Am I not merciful? Am I not merciful? Wait, he is, he's not merciful. So is he not, he's not merciful?

Wait, no, but so are we supposed to show him mercy? Is that what he means? Fuck, I'm so, just ask a normal question. It is great, though. It says you will, he says to her, you will love me and give me a pure blood air. And then he goes in to like, steal the deal. Yeah, look like Jason Borhees. Dude, if you're blood, I guess.

Targary. Honestly, if you want, I don't know, Jason Voorhees as the leader of your fucking violent cults of fucking expansion. Might be good. I mean, think about, we haven't seen Jason in a row. It might suit him. Wow. You know, it's pretty crazy. The breeze can just go right through it.

I'm still cover it up, but I'm comfortable. This is great. I'm no longer irritable. I'm not stabbing kids. And also, speaking of stabbing, these gladiatorial short. Sword's much better than the machete. Look, look at the range I get. Oh, I can really extend my arm?

That is a cool mask. Can you get me that mask? Because I don't think they're going to let me do all this state stuff with the hockey mask on. I'm not sure if they'll like it. It would be like Jason X's mask, right? That sort of looks like these. It does look pretty close to the Jason X. Just fuse it to my face.

I like that the emperor has got Maximus tied up like fucking king. Kong. Yes. Yeah. Like just the chains on the arms or whatever. But yeah, this is, we get a little stabby, stabby right here. And then he's like, strap on his armor, conceal the wound. I don't want everyone to know that I'm totally cheating.

The funniest thing to me is that, like, he reveals. So a communist comes up to him and, like, reveals, our last thing, brother, is that we will fight each other in the Coliseum. And, like, for a moment, Russell, like, he must be really just, like, sleep deprived. and just grieving in another world because he's like, oh my God, are serious? I'm going to kick your ass. Yeah, exactly.

I'm like, you are struck. You literally, like Andrew said, you look like King Kong. You were like strapped up. And this guy is about to stab you. Don't get so cocky all this sudden just because you're like, oh, I get a fight.

Again, I would give him at least three wounds. This guy's the best to ever do it. You know what I mean? Like, you need more than just the one. In the throat. I would say a good one in the throat. and just be like, oh, a bird did that. But now we're fighting each other.

Here it is. This fight's pretty great. I got to say, though, like, we do have, there is a shot way earlier in the movie, like, even before I think he kills Marcus Aurelius, where, like, Russell Crow kind of looks over across the way and, like, Joaquin is doing some shirtless, practicing, sword fighting with some fellas there. But, like, even still, you are fucking Maximus, dude. Like, he should make way shorter work of Joaquin, even with the injury.

You know what I mean? Yes. But he, it's a pretty good fight back and forth, you know. Yeah, no, it's, it's not too bad. We have a really solid, he's punching the fuck out of Comedus and then knees him in the face. Yes. Yeah. Really awesome.

But this is the bullshit. We try to salvage the relationship the audience has with Quintus. Shut out. Because he refuses to give, like, Comedus loses his sword. And he's like, oh, Quintas, give me your sword. And he's like, no, no, no, I'm not. And also, everyone around you, you will listen to me for some reason and not the emperor when I say sheath your swords.

Like, wow, Quinn does, Quinn does. Yeah, yeah, no, I forget what? How'd the movie start? I forget. Maximus is just like, you know what? I'm going to drop my sword too. We'll do this like brawlers. There's some good smacks and punches here.

Oh, yeah. This is all really good. And what, you know, what's funny is, I don't know if I said this, but I don't think I'd seen this movie in full. Oh, I... Probably since, like, the early 2000. It's been like 15 years at least for me. Yeah, like, I know I had it on DVD, but like, seriously, it wasn't that many rewatches.

But I remember when I saw this movie for the first time, what starts happening to Maximus in this scene, it didn't work for me, but it worked better for me now, and it's just age, hindsight, whatever, who knows. But I really like how as he's dying from the wound and still trying to fight, when we're cutting to the shots of the afterlife and his visions and stuff it's him like that's literally him dying and him going back and forth like between the two worlds like oh he still like he hears someone in the arena call out his name and it sort of brings him back i really liked it this time around it's cool yeah um but yeah this is he is he's trying to push through through to the beetle juice afterlife but there's a lot of you know at the last second oh what happened to your head what happened to your head Sitting next to an eaten in half, Jeffrey Jones. Yeah, what common is takes out this dagger and is trying to do another dirty trick here.

And then, you know, obviously Maximus just twists around, twists that dagger around and has him stab his own throat. And I need, you know, what would have been good right here? I mean, it's fine because he kills him and it's awesome. If he pissed on the body in front of the entire Coliseum. Yeah, wow. That would have been a hoot. But no, because I don't.

always like this when fucking crazy killers are in movies when you're stabbing someone and then you do the oh yeah that's what I mean like if you really just shut up shut up fuck up it kisses them really quickly I think there's one of those saving private Ryan as well yes there is that's

out of Goldberg yeah yeah yep that's a bad one but yeah it's like you know oh free my man he says and then he says to Lucilla he's like Lucius is safe now and he dies And it's a great, like, this dude literally dies on his feet and falls over.

It's crazy. Also, tell the pigs to come home. He's been poisoned, you know. I think his brain might be going a little bit. It's like Walt Disney just saying Kurt Russell right before I die. What is that? What pigs, Maximus? I'm going to say Kurt Russell right before I die.

That's the only way to go, dude. Yeah, you'd have to. I want on my tombstone, like I just want to, in quotes, Kurt Russell. People would be really confused. He's like, was he, was Kurt Russell a nickname? No, no, no, it's in quotes because he said it. It was the last thing he said was Kurt Russell. Is he, on his deathbed, did he reference the Walt Disney thing?

His last thing was a bit. His last thing on this one, fantastic. I'm so happy. I'm going to have so much dementia. I'll just be doing like Jesse Ventura for no reason. Like, hey, everybody, isn't this something? I remember 30 years ago I was doing this? Steve Sadec, 1983 to 2097.

Exactly. And then it's just, in quotes, I got the documents. It's chipped beef Wednesday here at the home. And they're like, I want to die. I don't know who does even try it. You know what, let's just skip this funeral. I do like when he's dead, there's a really cool floating shot of him. And you don't see what the deal is here because it sort of mimics when he's being carried on the wagon and Juman Hansu's with him.

Yes. But it could also be like a he's sort of floating into the, it could have been an out of body kind of thing or something like that. But it's just this cool, like you see him floating over the sand and there's all these like flower petals that have adorned the gladiatorial arena because the emperor was also in the brawl, I guess. Is this also the Dead Can Dance lady doing this soundtrack? Because it sounds a lot like the insider.

Okay. And I thought it was her again. Lisa Germano, I think her name. is no this is uh what's his name doing this uh big boy um oh fuck william zimmer hzimmer oh howard it is hans zimmer steve was right but uh interestingly there's a there's a sort of a melody in the score that comes back time and again and i was like this is really familiar and it's the the part where it goes bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum that is used as the main sort of through melody in the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

Oh, shit. Klaus Baldat, Baddelt did that. And he actually, I was looking up because I was like, there's no way this is a coincidence. And like, did this dude fucking steal from Hans Zimmer or what? No, he was actually an apprentice of Hans Zimmer. And he, yes. Yes. And he wrote music, like, helped contribute to this score.

So that's in Gladiator. And then three years later, he's hired to do Pirates. of the Caribbean curse of the black pearl and he takes that melody and makes a full score out of it which i thought was really and he was he was i just checked he was working with lisa gerard who did the insider song oh okay oh interesting and she also worked with the on ali so there we go we were all a little right uh so he's dead yeah and uh this is a great you know uh lucia says uh he was a soldier of rome honor him and like all the all the dudes turn out to pick up the and carry it out of the arena or whatever.

Derek Jacoby, he gets out of prison. Oh, right, yes. He's ordered to be released. And I love this big shot of the Coliseum. Everybody is carrying Maximus out. And Joaquin's body is just like dead alone in like the bottom corner of the frame. Really great. Nobody gives a flying.

Fuck about you, dude. Somebody get me a bunch of vultures. I want, I just want as many as you can get me. I want you to starve. for about a week. And then I want you to get them this body right here. Yeah, Vulture Buffet, dude. Let's see. That's the entertainment at day

day, day 150. We get to the final day of the games. You watch the Emperor's Body be eaten by Volta. That would be great. You get like the Olympics theme after just picking away at his dick. I'd pay for it. I'd pay top dollar. But yeah, this is

the last thing is Juba as Juman Hansu's burying the little figurines that Maximus has prayed to in the dirt and he says, now we are free. I will see you again, but not yet. And I'm like, Jemann Hansu gladiator too?

Not yet. More adventures for Judah or Juba. He should be in the next one. Yeah, it's kind of crazy that he's not. That sort of sucks. Maybe he was too busy doing fucking Shazam 3 or whatever. Shazam, Shazam 2 where he's kind of

a Wonder Woman for two seconds or whatever. going on in that movie oh holy smokes but yeah that is gladiator the final shot is him he's walking into the afterlife to go catch up with his family you put it together that's his hand from the first shot of the movie very beautiful uh ending but uh go around the horn here for some final thoughts and uh recommendations after all these years of uh not seeing this movie for most of us uh eric yeah no i've saw it more recently i think i saw it more than you guys in general i saw this a few times on television they used to call it I'm a big Ridley Scott defender

I like most of his movies this is nowhere near his best movie but I really enjoy it I love the just whenever you know Ridd gets like a chance to do these historical battles I really like them I'm also a Napoleon defender which is a rare thing these days but but did you care for that director's cut or no I did it's better it's much better than the theatrical adds a lot little more context to certain

I really want to see it. It fleshes it out. It's on, I think, Apple Plus now. But no, this movie, I, you know, do I think it deserved all the Oscars? I don't know. Maybe not. But I do enjoy it. And it was nice to revisit it.

I feel like it kind of diminished for me on this rewatch a little bit. I felt like it, it was a bit higher for me in my Ute. And now that I'm proximo myself, it's, you know, not as hot. But I do really still like it. So that's me. Chris Cabin I mean yeah I think this is a pretty solid movie

and as far as like what I expect and want out of an Oscar winner this is essentially it like a big semi-serious not fully adultish movie but adultish a little bit just a little bit

so I enjoy it I think all the performances work really well Scott is always just like the king of hit and miss to me like he goes like there's like this is a perfect time for it Because it's like three movies that I do not care about, 1492, White Squall and GI Jane right in a row.

And then Gladiator, and then Black Hawk down, which actually I still think is pretty good. But like, and then he just keeps on going. And like every other one or like every two other ones, he makes the one that I really like. And that's still true of this day, I think. Last Duel, really good. Hell yeah. House of Gucci, not so much. but you know and that's what i like about i kind of i really want him to make another movie like the counselor

that just completely goes crazy but i'm not sure if that's going to happen he seems to be really doing well with this classical uh element he's doing now he has literally three feature films and two television series in the works the man is in his mid to late eight yeah that's my boy uh steve say that yeah i just i i never looked the world's biggest fan of this movie. I liked it a little more than I thought I would coming back to it. Again, it's been about 15 years. I think a lot of the practical effects did it. I think the script is, you know, mixed. If you read a lot about this movie, nobody is very happy with the script. So they were just kind of rewriting it the whole time. And you can kind of feel that. But I mean,

the performances are so good. The Oliver Reed. I mean, I Russell Crow, man, this is a star making big deal, big boy performance for him. I think that like, again, not my favorite. by any stretch, but it's definitely up there in that pantheon. I'm glad he got his Oscar. He deserved it for one of these one of those movies, so it might as well be this one. You know, one of those deals. And the Royal Ridder

of it all, I think is even like, I don't know, even Hannibal is kind of worth watching. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, right. It's the Ridley Scott thing. He's maybe he's not the best director who's ever little, but he's really, really interesting and he's always going to give you something to look at. It's going to be kind of fascinating in this movie.

It holds up. yeah no i mean i i agree with you guys i don't know that i'm going to say anything too different um it was cool going back to this movie like i said had not seen it in a very long time uh and i think it it played better for me than the last time i i had seen it um still wish i got to see it on the big screen but uh no i mean rid is an interesting guy for me because i'm not i'm not a hundred percent on the filmography but i have seen a good chunk of it and he's a dude who like i kind of like stone away Ridley Scott movies because it's like there's always going to be one maybe I haven't seen yet but like even for the stuff that's not like you're never going to go back to it right like

House of Gucci I'm never going to go back to it I'm not disappointed that I watched it I think there's good stuff in there like it's just not my bag but like even still in the moment in that two hours and 35 minutes or whatever it is like I was watching it like I was totally there and this is the same way honestly another thing about Ridley Scott movies I think almost across the board from what I've seen regardless of length they fly by yes um and this this movie is two and a half hours long

and it flew right by moves I mean it really does move the one exception to that I have seen literally every Ridley Scott movie except for Gladiator 2 of course never ever come near the monster that is all the money in the world that thing

Oh I've seen it that fucking thing moves like a turd like a rough turd. It will not come out. I still have not with that one. It is fucking bad. You know, again, it's not something I've gone back to, but I will tell you this about that movie. I don't think it's amazing or anything. I'm not defending

it. I think it's fine that you don't like it, but there is buried in this movie, I think, a rare modern day, a modern day, this movie came out 2017. Mark Walbert, good dramatic performance movie. Which those things are fucking buried, like

Easter eggs in the backyard, dude. But, yeah, I don't know. I'm waiting for three years from now when we get a bootleg copy of the Spacey version. Oh, this, yeah, the hashtag. I cannot wait. Hashtag destroy the Spacey cut. But that is going to do it for this episode of We Love Movies.

Of course, this is a part of We Love Movies Month here on the show. All November we're doing We Love Movies titles, which means over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash we hate movies. We have flipped the script. to give subscribers at the $5 level and up where they would normally get a We Love Movies episode, a special patrons-only, we hate movies episode,

all about Stuart Bears. That's right. Tommy Lee Jones starring U.S. Marshals. Tommy Lee Jones is jack-jackin all over that movie. Every which way. We got that going on. We're doing a feature-length film, of course, on animation damnation this month.

Steve, what was that? We are doing the Duck Tales movie's Secret of the Lost Lans, treasure. Treasure of the Lost Lamp. I hadn't seen that movie in forever. That was fun to revisit. A lot of Rip Taylor in that movie. A whole lot of Rip Taylor.

Surprised. More than you remember. And on the Nexus, Eric Sisko, we're also talking about a Star Trek motion pictures. There'll be a full movie episode on the Nexus this month with is very exciting for you, folks. It's Star Trek 4, The Voyage Home. Hell yeah.

The live show from San Francisco years ago, which was a great time if you were there. The magic was not captured. on a recording device unfortunately so we are redoing star trek for oh yeah everybody makes mistakes at work sometimes it just fucks people harder than others um but anyway yes we're very excited to redo that episode that's going to be coming out end of the month patreon subscribers at the top tier that's right you are getting uh the november edition of melrode 210 where chris cabin we are getting into the holiday spirit a little early with 90210 are we not oh for crying out loud

this wonderful life bullshit like yeah yeah yeah guy, there's a wonderful life episode of 90210.10. It's hell on earth. It's the worst thing I've ever seen. It's a totally happening life. Yes, it sure is. That's rough stuff. With Robert Costanzo,

the angel. Hello. Oh, that was rough to watch, but made for really excellent recordings to catch that. As we also talk about the season three premiere of Melrose Place, which is also Bonk City, so you don't want to miss that. And, of course, if you're listening to this on the Patreon, that means you got this

gladiator we love movies episode ad free at the eight dollar level are up that's right if you're listening on the free feed and you're bumming about commercials and whatnot if you subscribe to the patreon you get rid of those commercials baby uh speaking of the patreon and speaking of we love movies month it's rolling on next week folks steve sadak what we love movies episode for all to listen to will we be releasing then we will be talking about a great movie called the wizard of ours oh i think i heard of this yeah classic cinema here you know the episode will be it'll be sepia in the beginning and then boom

right to color yes and it should be a wicked good time oh boy I like that I like that so until next week when we're drinking our way down the yellow brick road I've been Andrew Stephen say that Eric Cisgabin

take it easy Thank you.