We Hate Movies - S15 Ep780: Alien: Romulus

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

“One fella is just hollowed out!” - Chris on xeno aftermath gore On this week’s episode, we’re taking the show back to Franchise Town as we chat about the solid-ish sci-fi sequel/prequel/in-between-quel, Alien: Romulus! How incredible are all the ship and planetary designs in this film? Should they have kept the entire story on the mining colony and had the xenos just chasing them down there? How great is David Jonsson in this film, portraying both Andy and Upgraded Andy? Is Bjorn the most annoying character in the entire franchise? And yeah, this Ian Holm decision is truly repugnant! PLUS: Lotta Alien: Resurrection in here, folks! Alien: Romulus stars Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, Aileen Wu, and Robert Bobroczkyi as Offspring; directed by Fede Álvarez.  Don’t forget to snag your tickets to our first worldwide digital event of the year when we talk about Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire LIVE on Thursday, January 30 at 9pm/et! Be sure you bundle in your After Party Q&A ticket as well— those After Party tickets are FREE for Patreon subscribers at the $8 level and up, btw. Can’t make it live? No problemo! The replay will be available for 14 days after broadcast! Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program in space. No one can see your dumbass animated dead guy face. It's Alien Romulus. I'm Andrew Jupin. Oh, I'm Stephen Fiery. Eric Romulus. Chris Capon. And we hate movies.

Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program, as always. That's right. We are back to Franchise Town with a movie that will be a little bit divisive on this week's conversation. We are talking about Alien Romulus from last year, directed by Fet Aalvarez, of course. of course uh the big dip back into making alien movies that don't have predators in them or

fucking navigators in them well there's kind of a navigator looking guy in this a little bit we're tapping out we've we've had enough don't breathe and breathing now back to breathing back to breathing that I only saw the first one of that don't breathe series and I didn't care of him

neither are good I didn't see any of them I didn't see his evil dead so but I'm here you are you thanks for having me on oh every time anytime Eric you might even say you can come back any week. I heard some guys say that on a podcast. Thanks for having me on. So I just tried to try it out. Oh, wait. Go ahead. Well, you're like an alien

learning how to behave on a podcast? Pretty much. Was it a member of the podcast or a guest? I don't remember. Oh, imagine it would have to be. Well, I'll tell you this just real quick. Fetti Alvarez is Evil Dead. Dude, you are the biggest Evil Dead fan. I know. I know. I've seen it. No, I'm a hold on. Did you see that bad apartment movie? I actually like

the apartment movie. Dude, that is the clearest the Evil Dead Rise. That is the clearest. I got a script. Let's put some dead I haven't want, because I feel like the tone of those Evil Dead movies is very the same Ramey tone. Yes. It seems like was thrown out the window. It's absent of comedy entirely. So that's

those, Evil Dead is a comedy horror franchise. Sure. Sure. Yeah. So I get it. I don't need to see it because it's not Evil Dead. Well, I'm going to tell you this in the new one, this new apartment one. She says some curse words. She does. You know, I've been circling it. I need to, I do, I will get to it. I had fun with it as a 90-minute

horror movie. You know what I mean? I don't, that's the funny thing. I was really kind of torn by is like I really like apartment horror like even that third polter guys movie I'll get down to clown for a little bit it's dumb Tom Scarrett's farting around whatever but this it just to me

it was so clearly I got a script for a parking horror someone was like you know if you put deadites in it you can slap people dead on it and I think that's also why they have the opening the cold open I mean it comes of course it doesn't get around and everything but like the cold open to me was very much like like technically we've got some ways precisely there's some stuff

here there's a cabin there is woods Almost an in-name-only situation. But anyway, yeah, this movie. We love it. We all love this movie. We all love it. No, no.

I liked it to differing degrees. See, I liked it. It's so weird. Like, I gave it three and a half stars on Letterbox, and I feel like it's the same. I mean, exactly the same. And the problems that bother me, bother me still.

And it's not, it's my, and it's kind of like a flawed movie. You're going to go nuts because it is in my evil, in my alien rankings. No. Don't do it. Okay. It's just.

above, it would go alien, aliens, Prometheus, Alien Covenant, alien resurrection, alien Romulus, Alien 3. Okay.

You're out of your mind. That's whatever. I respect that list. It's not right list. It's fine. It's incorrect. I mean, I love Prometheus. I love Covenant.

I'm, you know, so. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know, that might be my exact order. I should say, this is at the bottom of the list for me. Sure. I don't care for it. All, all,

told, even the AVPs. I have 100% that's when I say. That's fascinating. That's a hundred percent. That's a hundred percent serious. Go for it. Cinematic terrorists. I totally forgot, yeah, you know, Requiem I actually like.

Requiem, I think, is what this movie, like, the idea, like, what you always heard, at least what I heard going into this is like, it's kind of like a horror, a slasher movie. Yeah. But it's, I'm like, what the thing already did that? It's all right happened. With a predator, too.

You're saying people were. saying that like romulus was a slasher was much more of a like yeah yeah you got these people you're in one location and you're kind of being hunted but you know they're sexy teens getting yeah and like is that i mean there's not there's not sexy teens in the royal rid film but that single location being hunted no one's saying that's a slasher well you're out into planet like you get to you know there's exploration you're on you're we're all over a mining colony at the beginning of this movie it's not all on i barely see the fucking mining i mean like you get to see him Chris, the first, like, 15 to 20 minutes of this movie.

Oh, I mean, like, oh, okay, if you're talking about just walking on the street, sure. But, like, if you're going to do that, I want to see the mining. I want to see the actual thing. It is, it is effective world building, I think, showing the what's going on with this planet here at the start. And, of course, we get the new sci-fi trope that I remember from Solo of being denied by TSA at the airport. No, sorry. You don't have credits. I do think, I mean, like, in the alien lore and the Whalen-Utani lore of it all, you know,

like, you know, you're talking about when we did a resurrection, it's like, oh, now we're sort of really seeing what the military is up to or whatever. Right. This is, we're really seeing what the miners have, because we've been talking about colonies this and colonies that. For the whole franchise. Exactly.

All these different colonists. And it's a shit job. You know what I mean? Now we get it. It's a shit gig. Seems like indentured servitude slavery. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

It's like having an H-1B visa. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. It would be great to see that stuff. We're not seeing that stuff. I think you do. I think you see it. What do you see of the mining, of the actual mining?

What do you want? A fucking science documentary? Dude, you're being absolutely ridiculous. Are those two, is that the only option, science documentary or a movie where you see the actual job they do? You see the important part about the job, which is them being fucked over on their extension to continue. And everyone's parents.

It's all being talked about. I'm not seeing any of it. I mean, all their parents are dead. We do see them, you know, grimly marching into the mine. Still with a canary. We're still doing the canary all these years later. You needed to be a little robot bird or something, and they just make it a canary still. It's like a, what do you call it, like a rainforest cafe, it looks like a canary?

It's like, squawk, who wants mozzarella sticks? I mean, the mine is poisonous. That's just for tradition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, speaking of grimly marching into something that nobody wants, let me put pause real quick here. It is back to the DHS trailer game. Here it comes. Jesus. Is everybody happy?

Eric, do you feeling good about this? No. Okay. I think I... Wait, can I turn the temperature up and be invisible? Oh, I mean, if you want to, we can try to that. No loud noises, though, dude. Oh, shit, then I'm good. Yes. As you might imagine, I did not have a VHS for Alien Romulus.

Sure. That did not happen, so... But I did have a VHS for Alien 3. I had a VHS for Alien 4. I had the pack. Nice. So we're going to do a couple. We're going to do four.

I like it. And it's, I want to point out to the audience real quick that I, now, the way we are seated. Yes. Chris can clearly see Steve and Andrew and I'm off to the side. So we'll see if I got, I got a good, you know, vision here. I can see it. Okay. Do one of these, you know, like, yeah.

No, yeah, actually you should just be like something like that. Yeah, like Andrews do that slightly elevated, not a hands up really, right middle, right in the middle, like a nice 45, More like a 1945 rally Oh wait Oh wow As you I mean everybody knows

The rules to the game And we're going to start with five Go down to one Hell yeah There is going to be a bonus question on this one Oh shit That is going to be worth A full five points

If you can get it I like this Should remind everybody I'm currently in last place Yes I think Steve's number one Steve is number one currently Wow

next time I will come with we're going to do another one of this I think next next episode so I will come in with full numbers next time but let's just start let's get into it here let's do it okay ready to lose number one this biopic or biopic if you are a pervert it's biopic we've got to stop that shit already dude I've been a long time since I've heard biopic I thought it was finally on six feet under no it's it came back with that complete unknown yeah All of a sudden, I started hearing it again. Oh, myopic.

Bruton. This biopic of an American leader who died under mysterious circumstances only recently became, Eric. Hoffa. Got it. Wow. There he goes. Look at that.

Yeah. Nice move. Good job. Because I thought I would have you with the JFK. I was thinking JFK and I thought I might have thrown you a bit. Good on you, Eric. That's five for Eric. Because the thing is like, yeah, I guess JFK is a little mysterious, but you saw the bullet enter.

Is that a good movie? I've never seen it. JFK? No, no, Hoffa. It's fine. It's a little long. It's like two and a half. And like DeVito, he adds a lot that you don't really need, I think.

But it's like a... It's a good, Nicholson performance. Oh, yeah, he's really good now. I want to go back to that. And it's another biopic I want to go back to. Uh-huh. Which biopic would you like to go back to? Biotical.

Nixon. Oh, Nixon I've never seen Nixon. Nixon's great. I really like Nixon. Hopkins. Hopkins. And Stone? Stone, yes.

Stone did, no, who did the other Nixon movie with Philip Baker Hall? Was that Altman? That's Altman. Secret Honor? Yes, okay. Yeah, yeah. The funny thing about the Hoffa movie is Nicholson, I guess at the time it was like controversial his performance.

Yeah. Because he got a RASI nomination. Oh, really? Yeah, with the gold. He had a Golden Globe nomination and Arras. Oh, that's weird. Every other word out of his mouth on that screenplay, C-sucker. Yeah.

Yeah, it's kind of funny. Okay. Number two. Let's do it. This peppy horror comedy pairs an older actor who trains a younger performer to join him as Monta. Buffy the Vampire Slur. You are correct.

Wow. Look at this, guys. I guess I was in the line of sight. Yeah, I guess so. I want to remind everybody that all these VHS trailer openings are available on YouTube. I did not look them up. I didn't even know what we did not know we were. That's true. You were legitimately blinds.

You were, you were surprised. All right. What's right at the bottom of your shoe? Buffy the Vampire. Hold on the bottom of your shoe. That's always there. YouTube.com, Y, Q, 4. Stop it.

Stop it. Okay, number three. Fuck, all right. This largely forgotten remake of a famous kids movie would go on to spawn four sequels, including three starring Kyla Pratt in the lead role. remake of a popular kids movie that spawns sequels and there's a human being named Kyla Pratt

a human being it is a human being it's not a dog so this is a 90s remake of a popular kids movie that has this new movie spawned sequels yes it did what year is Alien 3 or is this off break? Alien and it's either So it's 98 or 94, 95. Something like that. Rat bastard.

I'm going to have to kick it. I don't know. Sure, yeah. I admit defeat. All right. Following this film, its star decided to focus largely on kids' films, rather than the raunchyre comedies he made in the 80s and 90s. Most of these kids' films became well-known philosophy.

So is the movie we're actually talking about the nutty performance? is the answer the nutty professor? No, fuck my face. Too late or too early? Could you read that last clue again? Yeah. Game King? Following this film,

its star decided to focus largely on kids' films rather than the rauncher comedies. Oh, that fucking bastard. I said the wrong movie now I know. Oh, damn it all the hell. In the 80s and 90s, most of these kids' films became well-known flops.

Motherfucker. Dr. Doolittle? Correct. There it is. There it is. I got to wake up. And that's what in my head was Dr. Doolittle because he did two and then the daughter characters got to.

Oh, right. The veterinarian to the president or something. I almost said Daddy Daycare. That's after this. I knew that. Wait, no, that's not an old movie. Fuck. Oh, it was right.

Damn it all the hell. I kind of, like, until this, I kind of forgot he even did a Dr. Doolittle. He did two of them. She comes into the third one. And then there's two more after that There are VOD So there's three total affair Weird

I own that Robert Downey Jr. Doolittle on streaming Because I was the only way to watch it Legally so I just have it So whenever I look like on Amazon Like my stuff it's like right there My collection on Amazon is a nightmare Yeah no it's that

It's several single episodes of AD titles we've done AVP a Larry the Cable Guy movie Nice So this is where the bonus question's going to come in. This movie, on its soundtrack, had one major hit, like major, major, major hit.

If you can name the artist and the song title, five points. Is this Dr. Dool? On Dr. Doodle. Oh, on Dr. Doodle. Andrew. I'm just going to take a whiff here because I don't know,

is it the Bahamas who let the dogs out? It is just, fuck. Oh, that would have been perfect. Right? Dogs, Dr. Duddle. I should say, not to kick you when you down, here, but, like, it doesn't really have anything

to do with animals. Oh, that's too bad. Hmm. Well, I don't think I'm going to guess. Oh, Tom Waits Veterinary Blues? Easy one. It's huge it. Is it the Misfits' last caress? It is not. Sorry, I'd tell you, Eric. It's not.

Steve, you want to give it a shot here? Both Thuns and Harmony. Crossroads. Yes. No. It's Alias. Are you that somebody? would not have guessed. We're not a guest. And so we're on the last one here. Christ, there's another one.

Fucked board. Yes. Fuck me. Eric, you're really. I don't know what's happening. Okay. This continuation of a beloved TV series opens with the death of a character played by one of the main actors from Lost.

So this is a movie. It is a movie. It's a continuation. Continuation. Of a TV show. Yes. as someone from lost gets killed at the beginning.

I thought this one was just a layup. Continuation. Um, um... Sure. A very Brady movie? It's not that...

It's not scoff worthy. Yeah, I don't think it was either. Also, I rewatched that movie recently. Very fun. Because that's the second one. Who's going to get murdered in a Brady bunch movie, is my question. I don't know. That's the song.

Maybe that's why they got back together. Sure. No, no, that's a good one. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just like, why would they get murdered? They should have. Dude, now Alice is just getting shot in the head while she's fucking doing the lawn. Dude, you don't know what that butcher's up to.

Oh, no, Mr. Brady. Oh, no. Oh, man. Guys, I just, I'm giving up for you guys. I took a die. Oh, thanks for laying on your sword. I'm going to wait for the next clue. Okay.

Yeah, I don't got it. Okay. Unlike its 2008 sequel, the film story continued a storyline that was featured in this series, including seasons five and six, which bookended the film. Oh, uh. Give it to the fat loser. Andrew, fine, you can have it. Is it the X-Files? It isn't the X-Files.

Fight the Future. Yes, indeed Why would anyone be killed in the X-Files? Terry O'Quinn, guys. Terry O'Quinn, right, he sits in front of the vending machine and expanse. I haven't seen that movie in fucking forever.

I re-watched it recently, man. It's fucking great. That second movie sucks ass, but that first one it's where, honestly, the show should have ended. Although last night... Well, it's time to change. Yeah, it's time to change, Peter. You get shot in the fucking head.

I was rewatching some X-Files last night, though. a season seven where Ricky J is in it remember that one he was playing his own twin brother fucking great I mean that that

it might be the best at least in my like a movie that actually uses the same characters as the TV series it might be the best of the bunch yeah it's a really good movie

alright so that's it Eric of course just routing people remember I've won before I know yes and it appears right now at least you'll win again you've run a few times

plenty of time to make up points everybody uh i will say this i think all of the space stuff in this movie looks gorgeous i think all the space photography yeah this opening this very slow opening of finding the i guess so like the alien from the first movie gets gets airlocked and he cocoons himself or what happens or there's like a fossil or a bunch of shit like gets on him i think it's like a bunch of shit just like got stuck to him and he's like encrusted yeah he's very He doesn't have a bug wiper on him. So, like, yeah, it is kind of weird. But yes, it is.

I love the visuals of coming across, like, the wreckage of the Nistromo. I think that all looks really awesome. Yes. Yeah, I would agree with that. That, I like that. I like the, when we start using the ring, when they have to collide with the rings, are really, really good on. Yeah, all the space rings of the mining planet here. Now, this is, did I hear the detail right?

This is 20 years after the first movie? Yes. They say 20 years ago, we lost the ship. Yes. Right. So this takes place before the events of aliens. so get away from her you bitch originated here

and then she heard it in her soul Sigourney Weaver just felt it I'm watching security footage I guess there's a good line I'll have to remember that not only with the Ian Holm deep fake stuff but like there's too many huge fucking nods

I totally agree yeah I totally agree we gotta stop the Easter egg campaign you're just doing that for stupid considering what happens at the end of this movie I'll take the tiny fucking thefts and not just like Let's just do what they did. Let's just do the same exact fucking thing.

I agree with you there, Chris. The weird thing about it is the, at least the in-home thing and the getaway. Get-away from your big bitch is like something you just get over. Ian Holm is a problem because it's he's the villain of the movie practically. It's like a sixth of the movie. It was more than I remember. It is. And the second time I'm like, ugh.

But it doesn't make sense because the whole point of this movie, at least as far as I can tell, It's like, you're trying to make a new young alien movie, right? You're trying to bring in young people. That's why the cast is so young. It's like, I mean, it's like that's also something that's different for an alien movie. Usually the cast of alien movies are much older. You know what I mean? Like, this is the first time it's ever been like a bunch of teens or, you know, like teens and 20 year olds or whatever.

Right. And then you just throw something to, like, so who in that audience that you're trying to get is like, oh, cool, it's Ian home. Like, nobody gives a shit. That's very true. Like, who could care. wanted to be so goddamn beholden to what came before I don't want to say to do it

but if you're going to do it this much just remake Alien you've got young or it's like Ripley Begins or something I'm actually on with you 100% like confidence wise I don't think I like the fact that we don't do that like the fact that we are

so beholden to the old movies and like I'm not even talking about the stuff you steal I'm talking about like literally in home shit like That is literally, like, a producer being like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Like, just bring them back. I don't fucking know. I don't know. And if that's the case, then just use Lance Hendrickson, who's alive, deage him, and it's like, oh, wow, it's a Bishop unit or whatever.

There's so many things you could have done. You could have done that. You could have done, uh, Bospender. He plays the guy. Bossbender would be great. He, uh, Hanrickson plays the guy that Bishop is based off of in three, right? Yes. So, like, that dude is kind of farting around. And you know, you might have to deage people. or something, but like... It looks so much better than, like... Resurrecting the Dead? Yes.

Ian Holm, when he's talking in this movie, it was reminding me of a talking cat that Eric Roberts movie because they're just like prying those lips open to get these words out in such an unnaturalistic way. It's, I have, it is a disaster to allow this to be...

You heard it, they're still trying to fix it. I would say, bringing it to fucking 4K, and they're still trying to fix the fucking thing. It's just as bad. It's probably, it's probably, worse than Tarkin in Rogue 1 because that is just like...

Again, a nod. Yes, I mean... Fifth of the movie. Exactly. He's in... He's got like two minutes of screen time versus this is like 1520 with this guy. He's yapping. This fucker is talking. And you're using AI and shit so you're like burning down three fucking rainforests for what? For the worst film decision

of 2024. It is. It is. I mean, like again, like that this movie would be... I don't think it would have changed my rankings or anything like that, but like, this movie would be so much better if it's just an actor and it's like a rope any old actor like you know fucking talking a solid three stars if i get an actor in there and like i might like one and a half two right now with this thing uh and it it is almost not entirely but mostly because of this decision it's to me it is

insane to allow it's ghoulish it's bad and i mean like you know oh wow his his fucking his family signed off oh that's nice they like the check do the estate is given a special thanks I couldn't believe it. Did they also thank Alien Resurrection for stealing the ending? Special thanks Jean-Pier-Genei for making the movie we base this on. Thank you for not including the one great part of that one. They get sucked out the hole, yeah. They find this asteroid that it has an alien, which is great.

We see the laser. They crack it like an egg. It looks kind of delicious. It always kind of looks. You always want aliens. I don't get it with you. I get a little hungry watching these movies. got to be a boiled job though dude

like I gotta see if it's like exoskeleton turns red when it's done it looks like a scotch egg kind of a thing when they open this thing open yeah totally just as deadly oh totally dude you're just as likely a horrible fatal diarrhea am I wrong because I watched this two days ago

they cut it open they're like good job let's leave the room right that's amazing they take what's inside they take the yoke and then they're like yeah let's get out of here and you know thank God it's not a dumber movie where like all of a sudden it's like waking up Like you see a finger moving.

Yes, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm back. I do like the title sequence, the Alien Romulus looks really cool. Really, really fantastic title sequence through the whole opening here. I noted that too. And like, honestly, man, sometimes, boy, that shit can make all the difference when you're, like, gearing up to watch a movie. And you just, like, you see cool titles like that.

And it adds to the vibes. Like, this time around, I was trying, because I realized when I saw it the first time, the rook shit, it just, it pulled me out of the movie so much that it, distracted me from the movie. Sure. So this time through, I was like, all right, at least I know that that's coming. So let's try to pay attention to the other stuff around it and see what I can pull out that I enjoy. And the titles are definitely one.

The whole beginning of this does set in the specific level of dread you want going into a movie in this franchise. Well, and then they, I do agree. I do like how the titling has happened. But then they dash your fucking hopes immediately because, like, we see Kaylee Spani. and she is having a dream. A dream of the planet. A dream of the planet, which looks like a fucking Apple desktop image.

And I'm like, it's so indistinct. And I'm like, you know, I'm just, I'm barely going to get any time with this character. She's mostly going to be dealing with aliens and and androids and stuff like that. So it would have been nice if something like this would be like something detailed, something specific. But she's just like, I'm on a hill and I'm looking at stuff. She's never seen the sun. She's trying to imagine what the sun might be, Chris.

That would be nice if it focused on the sun. It's her, like, on the hill, like, hails. It looks like the start of a PlayStation game that would hold X down to, like, skip through. Kaley Spaddy, who's great. She's fantastic. She is the tiniest minor that they have. The tiniest mine.

She should be the fucking canary, dude. How's the breathing? When I saw Civil... I knew that she was short in the... The Priscilla movie Because Jacob Lord is really tall And obviously that's what we're playing with The power dynamics there

But then I watched Civil War And she made a Kristen Dunsel Like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar And I'm like Jesus Christ She's 3-8 I think He's very small Very small person It's crazy

Like every time she walks in the room You just faintly hear Muppet baby And this is part of the visual effects And what's great about this movie The Gandalf effect they do To make her look normally It's crazy.

Comparable in size to all the other actors. By the way, I really love the performance of David Johnson. Did you say David Johansson? I'll be in your alias. Hot, hot, hot. Hey, you can't park that cab here, buddy. No, yeah, your dad. He programmed me with dad jokes.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, some of them have some foul language, but I... You hear about the one of the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed space. Why, you don't like it? I like these jokes. You don't like your dad's jokes? No, David Johnson is awesome in this movie. He's really good.

You know, when he plays Andy versus when he plays Andy with the Upgrade or whatever. Yes, yes, it's really cool. And it's just, he's very, like, their relationship is really sweet. And I mean, like, they get, you get them really quickly, you know what I mean?

Like, she's like, I got to go, I got to go check on, you know, we're going to get off this crazy planet. All I did to do is go to that office. why don't you wait outside and then he gets the shit kicked out of him totally also just like what it's like living on this mining colony you've never seen this

in an alien film before someone dodging the landlord because she's like dealing with this landlord at the start of it like oh yeah like you'll get your payments I'm just got to get whatever and then I'll be out of here or whatever and then it's like she says to Andy like let's get out of here maybe by the time they come back

will already be gone whatever it is but I just love that notion of like even on a fucking mining college in the middle of the space. It's like, where's my money? I do appreciate this franchise for being so pessimistic about the future. Yeah, exactly.

So realistically pessimistic. I mean, honestly, they are very continuous with that. Even in like the covenant prometheus ones. It's like, no, this is all for shit. Those are some grim stories there. So she's like, hey, look, good news. I've finished my quota, you know, whatever, how many thousands of hours. I've done it for you.

So we're all good, right? Like, ooh, sorry. Actually, due to a worker shortage, they are doubling the quotas. So it's even another five or six years. Yeah, because it's translates to something like 12,000 hours of work. We really appreciate your service. Door closed. This is where you break the glass on that booth and murder that woman.

Like, you just strangle her. And she's like, I didn't make the policy. Then you go, I don't care. This is where in a horror movie, I'd kill myself. Yeah, exactly. What's the point? Six more years. work. This is my

student loans changing companies yet again. They've changed four times I don't even know who I'm paying anymore. That's the problem. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's somewhere. It's going somewhere. I know that much. We're told, by the way, that there's the Jackson Star mining colony where they are zero hours of daylight a year. God, that's nice. That's just...

It's a rough one. I want to see alien colon workers revolution. Let's get that. Well, that's what I'm really talking about when I talk about why I want to see their work is because I actually think a mining colony is a great setting for what they're trying to do here. There's a bunch of tunnels. Yeah. There's going to be a center place that you have to go to. That to me is much more interesting than like we're going to go up on the fucking. And you know what?

Mythology fucking station. Everybody know what Remus and Romulus is? Yes. I do now. No, I always did because I'm a smart guy. Want to suck on a wolf's tit or what? Yes. Gladator, too, also referenced in this year as well.

No, I was going to say that Chris's idea of a mining colony is great, and you could combine it with your idea of a worker revolution. And Waylon Yutani drops an alien in there to clear it out. Oh, definitely. That's a strike breaker right there. Oh, that's a strike breaker all right. You know, it's funny. I wonder if there wasn't like some draft of a script that it was that.

And then it's like, well, it's an alien movie. They've got to be in space. The whole thing is they can't hear you scream none. Another thing about this movie, and I think the Romulus subtitle is part of it, what does that mean, really? Like, it's just the spaceship. It kind of doesn't, like, who's going to survive? Prometheus means something. You know what I mean?

It's about the fire from the gods and, like, stealing and all that, all that shit. Like, it's all there in the movie. Covenant means something, you know, like resurrection, you know, means something. It's just like, ah, Romulus, that's the ship. Well, I think what they're doing. It's like, alien Toledo. It takes place in Toledo. Toledo King.

You know, the thing with that is, I kind of, the idea they have is like, are, you know, are Android's going to take over everything? Like, is it better to like make peace with them, anything like that? So it's, to me, what they're saying is like, well, is it going to be humans or is it going to be androids who survive this? Because we're not going to go half Cs on any of this shit. It's all or nothing. And like, so are we remus or are they remus?

I guess is what they probably are thinking. So, yeah, I guess we would be Remus, right? Is Romulus the guy that lives? Is Romulus? Whatever. Yeah, because I think that he founds Rome. Yeah, yeah, whoever wins, like, that would be us. And, like, in the laziest way, I can see where you could make an argument that, like, the fucking horror in the middle of this fucking movie is a, like, like, making the argument.

Like, hey, this is what movies might look like. Right. But, like, just invoking Roman mythology and stuff like that, like, oh, is this new set? Is this like a new Roman? I've got that in Megalopolis. Mayor Cicero has got me covered, okay? Absolutely. No need for it in my space adventure.

That's true. Now I'm just thinking about megalopens. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. She gets a DM from her ex-boyfriend, you up. John Voigt, Tyler. What do you think of this boner? Is what Tyler says, no, that's John Voight and Megaloplas.

Yeah, this is, yeah, Tyler, this is just like crew of the old gang, dead meat friends here. Tyler, K. Bjorn, the most annoying character ever created. And Navarro. This is like hanging out with your older brother's annoying friends. You know what I mean? Like, and it's just like, can I just get out of here? Fuck, Bjorn's over again.

I'm going to give you the basement playing Genesis. Exactly. And I know you need them for the kill counts and all that, but they do get a little abrasive, especially Bjorn. Bjorn very much. So Tyler is kind of like whatever, like a dinky, whatever. Dead-eyes. He's a dead-eyed. Let me just wait around

until I have the best death in the movie. Exactly. He's just a dead-eyed hunk that, you know, doesn't, he doesn't have much agency. You know what? But he, he benefits hugely for me in home because, like, I'm like, oh, man, dead eyes. I'm like, no, that's dead ass eyes. That's why they added Ian home. It's like, make him better. Kay, we should say, is played by Isabella Merced, who we just spoke about a few weeks back on Madam Webb. Dude, because I had seen both of those movies in theaters, I did not remember that that's the same actress because in Madam Webb, they never focused on that actor at all. I think she's out of focus the whole time.

She's soft the whole movie. She's the third one, okay? There's another one. There's two others. I was also soft the whole movie. Didn't do it for me. But they're like... I will say actually just about her

because we were, you know, obviously knocking the web into the sun. She's good at this. But I think she's actually pretty good in this. And also just the benefit of having her hair curled in this movie, she looks like a completely different person. Yeah, she does. But I think she's good at...

She's also keep this in your... backpocket, she is the person that will be on board who is with child. Which, we're going to get to it, but like, I'm sorry, the baby said bye-bye about halfway through this movie. Yeah, you're totally. Considering where you're fucking throwing this lady here and there.

Multiple staircases. That's just insane. I was about to point out the number of staircases this girl falls down. Or boxes she's thrown off of. So, like, if you want to make it even stupider, that thing at the end is also a zombie technically. I guess the thing, Chris, I think you could probably, you could sort of

maybe make the argument that whatever she injects herself with, maybe that could reconstitute the baby. Well, that's a zombie. It comes back from the dead. So it's a zombie basketball player, alien killing thing. Talking about alien resurrection, am I right? So she gets there, it feels like one of those parties you get to, like when you're in

high school where like, so someone go out and get beer, or what you? Dude, that's amazing that you're saying that. That is the exact vibe. It's like, you get there and you would already heard someone else had the fake ID and they already went to the convenience store and then you get there and everyone's sitting around still playing Genesis. Come on.

Oh, so we didn't even think about the plan, huh? We didn't even start forming a plane. You're just playing fucking street fighter two. Well, the 7-Eleven's destroyed and orbiting the moon. We could try. We found a 7-Eleven orbiting the moon. If we get up there, there might be some beer we can steal. Should we get, do you want to get pizza

with pepperoni flavoring or sausage flavoring? Yo, bro, Kriro sleep that beer, man. I want a cold. Oh, no, I need another 500 credits to get me beer cold. Whatever, Bjorn. Yo, your brother fucking sucks. He killed my mother. A little too much with the Britishisms in here.

Yeah, yeah. And that's nothing against them. This Bjorn voice, oh, my God. It's terrible. But, yeah, his whole thing is. He sounds like the streets. It's, but it's, but it's, he does, he does. He does.

It's because these people present. born into this Jackson star and now I'm just imagining a street song about aliens because those dudes never did it for me so yeah yeah they sucked yes he sounds exactly like both of them but why are they I don't want to argue with you this is a Z new dry eyes mate all right just dry eyes oh I what's that gaza doing why is he got a little little thing in his mouth. Oh, it's killing me, isn't it? Just called a zero morp a geyser. But why are they so

accented if they were born into this mining colony and everyone's like, sure, maybe you've got a little from your parents. Sure, not that much. You know, my parents are from Chicago and I don't talk like, you know. You usually want to talk about who you more talk talk like who you hang out with.

Exactly, yes. No, I mean, we're just normal. We're born parents. Hello. Hi there. We're actually just from Kentucky, but look, We love lockstocking. We fucking love that movie. It must have been on every other day. It was the only way we could get Bjorn to go to sleep.

We put Lockstock on, put him in his little crib. And after like 20 minutes, he'd be right out. I thought after five years, you know, we're done. I've seen the movie 200 times, you know, that this should be enough. But you know what happened then? I just got myself a hankering for Snatch. And I just started watching Snatch. And we've watched that for 10 years.

As you get older, you do get a hankering for Snatch. It does happen. Tell me about it. but so they've Kaylee Spanning and this guy have broken up for unknown reasons I'd kind of like to know what that is you know what here's why because romance is impossible when you live and work

in a mining colony I guess that's true well then you would else you're gonna do the but I mean that job at that point at least myself to sleep every day you can find yourself a fuck partner at the very least you get fucked on a bunch of rocks right probably you know that baby too

was like conceived on a bunch of rocks right up against the mining wall babies are not surviving period. That's what the way in Utani people are not telling you is that there's just no fucking babies left. Right. But so basically it's like, listen, you know, no one's ever

we realized no one's ever getting off this rock. We've got a plan to get to Yvaga 4, which is where she wants to go to. Anyway, Yvaga, don't take Yvaga if you suffer from anal bleeding and diabetes and consult with your doctor before taking Yvaga. Yvaga, the planet

of hills. Just hills everywhere. Yeah, it's definitely either a drug or it's like a new Hyundai. Oh yeah, totally. The Hyundai Yavaga is all electric, man. All easy. Actually, now that I think about it, Yavaga might be the name of the company that has my student loans right.

That might be big Yuvaga. Oh, they got transferred from fucks your problem. Don't forget, you're here forever. Yeah, totally. So, yeah, they're like, listen, we actually got

a little satellite reading here. There's a ship out in orbit that's, like, totally dead. They don't give a fuck about it. Our plan is we want to get everybody up there. We're going to shuttle up there, get that ship. It's got cryosleep chambers. We're going to steal the cryosleep chambers, and we're going to go off. Yuvaga, it takes nine years to get there, which is why they need the cryosleep.

And also, we definitely need Andy to come because, as they say, he's the only one who, quote, speaks mother. He's the only one that can interface with the Wayland Utani computer system known as mother. Yes, he's basically the R2D2. He could plug into the wall and get the door. to open, pretty much. And Andy, at this point, like, Tyler's being very nice to Andy because Tyler is A-smart and understands

that that's the other thing is going to work. Bjorn is being an absolute dickhead to Andy. Yep. And I mean, like, Andy in this movie is kind of like the lovable, the lovable robot of the movie. So, like, anyone mistreating a robot, fuck you in any movie.

I'm like, no. You talk shit to C-3PO, go fuck yourself. Talk shit to C-3-O and you can go fuck yourself. Yeah, is that right? See, these. C3Po from Star Wars? He's a sweetheart. That son of a bitch needs to be melted down

and turned into fucking New Republic tokens. Dude, what do you get me? See, this is why you don't have so many friends. Because you do shit like this. C3PO is a fine, normal guy. It's fine. That's why my wife and I were men for each other. We fucking despise that son of a bitch.

R2 all the way, man. I like R2 as well, but he's a sweet boy that C3PO. But so like, but yeah, he's like, stay out of me away, mate. I'm mate. Yeah, and then there's a backstory reason why he, hates him. They mentioned that his parents were killed by Androids. It was a thing where like there was an accident in the

mine and the synthetic chose to seal the area and it did a Kill three to save 12. Right. Yeah. The lives of the few. Which you know sounds reasonable. My favorite thing is Navarro tells him this and like Navarro's point of view is like, I mean it was kind of

fucked up. Yeah. Like what else do you what was going to happen? What the fuck? The other 12 people would have died. Talking like an idiot. The Navarro weirdly did anyone else read this on Wikipedia? I thought she was his girlfriend. Navarro? Yeah, Navarro was Bjorn's girlfriend. She's his half-sister or like...

Didn't get that at all. I thought it was boyfriend. That's at least what Wikipedia is telling me, and maybe... I just... I didn't see any, like, actual, like, kissing or anything. So I was like, oh, they're just very intimate. And, like, that could just be really close friends for all I know. But, like, at some point, I was just like, well, they're all going to die. Like, you've given me exactly, like, the enough where only two people are going to get out of this thing. And the funny thing is, like, in...

When shit starts going wrong, Navarro very smartly realizes. She does the math. She's like, all right, so he's what, Kaylee Spenny's the lead. She's a boyfriend. The robot's fine. Pregnant lady, huh, that could go 50-50. Bourne is kind of the antagonist. He's got, I'm first.

I'm, oh, shit, I'm first. Am I going to be first? Fuck, fuck. Because she starts freaking out more than anybody else. I'm like, she knows. Right. I love all the shot, the shot of them when they launch off to leave the moon and go up to the Renaissance. space station that's called

just the shot of them going up and you see just the like the totality of this Wayland Utani corporate building like rising up very Blade Runner vibes almost I like that a lot I mean there's a lot I do like about this movie but there's a lot that I don't

like about so it's really you know it's almost good but it's not I mean yeah it's almost very good it's almost very good like minus minus that fucking rook I would if if rook wasn't there

I'd be able to be easier on stay away from her you bitch exactly which also now that I'm thinking about it though he's just icing some random Zeno the reason why it makes sense in aliens is because she's

killing the queen and she's called her a bitch this is just some Joe Schmo Zeno you don't even know you don't know you don't know that's you know it's just to make fucking dummies elbow each other in the fucking theater It's just so frustrating.

I mean, it's like if you order a wonderful shepherd's pie, you're having, you're eating it. And then you're like, oh, but there is one turd. Around it is great. It tastes fantastic. But right in the middle of the thing is this turd that I'm getting little pieces of. Right. You're playing an operation with your shitty shepherd's pie.

And you're like, how close can I get to the outer shell of the turd and still eat this? And here's the thing. Like, the AV piece, those are just turd pies. I know what I'm getting. Yeah, they're not playing with me And they're not trying to be good or nothing Shit sandwich front to back Yes

You're going down into a whaling village Cool Sounds great man Can I ask you guys a question What is he Bjorn our favorite guy Bjoren a classic character In the alien franchise

What is he What is the trick here Where he hits the whole Spliff really quick As they go Yeah it's sort of something about It's probably something about gravity Or something

I don't know I did that much been On the street's second album I don't remember Oh I'll watch the we take this one down, this one straight to the dome. Hit that spliff in just one go.

You geeseers aren't you have as high as I am? Because he's like standing up as they're launching off and they're like, what are you fucking doing, man? Like, sir, all passengers must be seatbelt in here. And he's like, no, no one's this is going to be great. And like the whole spliff just

goes. Which we saw a friend of ours doing a party one time. You remember that? It was the craziest things I've ever seen in my life. We weren't in space. Then I know. Yeah, yeah. It's like offering Freddie Kruger a bong. Like, what, I don't need this.

Guys, we are in space. We are in space, colon, planet Earth. You know what? You know what? That's smart. Thank you. I like that. It's true.

That's actually true. You know, when you drive your car, you're sort of a spaceship. When you think about it, dude, when you're really thinking about it, really boil it all down. Here's the thing. Why don't you get ready to have your brain on with this one? Technically, all continents are kind of just islands, right? Whoa. Really big island.

I mean, like, literally. about that you walk out of this you're space traveling you walk outside the door you're just you're traveling through space I'm also time traveling because it takes me fucking forever to get home it does I have heard that they do get to the space station there's a nice moment where they all see the sun and it's like wow that's what I think it is it's fucking bright that kind of sucks actually maybe this is a bad idea

fuck it let's go home I'm anti-sun man it's like it's like that sunny episode yeah fucking bright out but basically it's going to be they're going to have a team to go in Andy and just Bjorn and Tyler and everybody else the gals are just going to hang on on the ship sure because like basically to get her to go tell us like you listen you don't even need to leave the ship

you know you're going to be fine we just need your robot brother 35 minutes in and out anytime you're doing crime 35 minutes in and out you're in trouble you're in trouble no I want at least to round it up 40 there oh yeah you need that 40 oh one more thing my buddy here he's just going to be talking shit to your brother

nonstop just like it's going to be bad stuff basically getting in the way of the mission yes totally endangering the success of the mission at one point when they get they get off and they're going through and like the ship looking for these cryopods

which I think is actually it's a smart reason to get something like we've seen cryopods and alien before it's a good McGuffin to have it's like oh we need the cool thing you got to steal exactly um and as they're going there, he's like,

oh, you're not even going to Yovaga with us, you stupid robot? Oh, right. And the guy's like, what? And everyone's like, why are you saying this right now? Like, that's a detail he could have learned after the mission. Because basically, no robots allowed. No, Yuvaga, no artificial intelligence.

And you know what? One to Navaga, please. Let's fucking go, baby. Interesting that they test for that, but this mining colony doesn't, even though he was Wayland Utani property. Right. No one's clocking that. He was apparently discovered in a dumpster or something and put back together by her father. Maybe that's why they don't give a shit.

It's like, oh, it's an old broken model. Would they let you have that, though? I just don't understand why if we have synthetic technology, why we need human miners in the first place. Exactly. Just get them all in there. Well, you know, because those are... You got to use what you have, you know? You've already got them out there. Well, it's like, well, oh, that's a billion dollar piece of equipment.

A year worth nothing. Maybe it's that. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it actually, it's way more... cost-effective to lose human life and his robot life. Exactly. And we will be saying that soon.

Yep. Any day now. Already. Already, yeah. Someone like four years in the future is going to be like, whatever are they talking about on this episode of the popular Earth show? We hate movies. I loved that planet

when it existed. This show was better years ago. Why are they worried about Paul Walker? He is dead. man you know the question will always be the same do they feel bad about making that joke no because I'm not a fucking fortune teller next question

good god anyway yeah so like basically Bjorn blows the thing and then like we have oh by the way sorry but in the first of a couple times we're really just ripping right from resurrection or is this now I think it is resurrection right we are told 36 hours

until the space station falls into the rings of the planet and gets destroyed. This is a very similar. You have 90 minutes before the ship crashes down under Earth from Resurrection. It's like, oh, don't worry, we'll be, it'll think it's, we'll be in and out of less than an hour anyway, so it's totally fine. And wouldn't you know, just like Resurrection, there's an accident that happens that then speeds up that timetable, and there's less time to get off. And it's interesting, because there's all these interesting story ideas in Resurrection before we even get to that. And, like, it's like people put effort into it.

and I really do appreciate hats off that's off to Resurrection Boys. Still a flawed movie. Oh, for God, yes. But it's got a fun Scourney Weaver performance, so it makes up for a lot. There's that.

So it's, we're going around, we find the pods, we realize, oops, the pods don't have enough gas to get to Yavaga, but this is a big space station. They probably have cryogast somewhere on this thing. Precisely, yes. Don't worry. We just liquidate your brother, and we put that That juice into the credit.

Why? Why are you looking at me like I'm a village? What's the fuck? We're going to take whatever tallywacker you've got between your legs, cut it up and use that as gas to get to the next planet. I want to rip off your dick. Maybe we, you know, a fun thing to do. We're going to be there for nine years.

We clone him and then kill him in front of his sister several times. I know it's going to be worth cloning an android. We try it. We should say very sweetly. Andy mentions early on what his primary function is which is to make sure rain is happy. Whatever's best for rain. And her dad was big fan of the Mortal Kombat character.

Yeah, totally, dude. He's like, now I know that series had a lot of those dudes dressed up as ninjas and they all were different collars, but rain with that purple, primo, dinsbound men. I mean, you know, this is a hill folk. Oh, rain, come on out. here. Come on back to the mob rain. Or is it hippie, right? There's my daughter, Rain and my son free. We had to bury poor scorpion. He's a beautiful boy, but he wasn't meant for this world.

Her name, by the way, the full name we are given to the beginning, Marie Reigns Caradine. What? Yeah. Really? So we're Uncle Hungers found himself in the film? It's possible. Yes. Okay. From several generations. Yeah, I think that's great. Great, great, great, great, great, uncle. We're dealing with. And Raines is obviously a reference to Memphis Raines, the Nick Cage character from Gone in 60s. I would like to think so anyway.

I like the shot, and it's also important a little, you'll see this later in the movie, but I do like the shot of when they're crawling. They're doing a little bit of die-harding through a tunnel to get in, and the zero grab shuts off. And you see this dead rat just floating, which is kind of neat. And we're told here that this space station, in order to, like, save power or whatever,

cycles through their ant- anti-grave system. So like every once in a while, the anti-grave ceases to work and you start floating for a little bit. Anti-gravity. Fogging with my stomach. You think your brother would mind if I shit on him. I think that's best for him, really, as if I got the, because I got the shits from the gravity. He is bitching something about his balls at one point around. Freezing my balls off. Oh, is that one of us? I hear about this guy's balls more than I hear about my own. It's wild.

Honestly, all those pirates who would kill me in a millisecond more easy to get along with than this guy. Any of them. Oh, my God. A British teenager? We're basically going through. We find a research lab

which we think should have the cryo juice in it, and sure enough, it does. Sure. Meanwhile, we are introduced around here to the reality. reality that Kay is pregnant, she starts vomiting at one point and, you know, Rain's like, who's the father? She's like, just some mining asshole.

You know, I haven't told anybody what's going on. Sounds like he did some mining that there. You know that this lady is bound for the grave when she says the following line, I'm just happy this baby will get to see the son. Oh, boy. I mean, just

how does, I mean, today I'm like, how do people have the optimism to have children? Yeah, in this future. Yeah, exactly. Well, this seems like a total accident. Right, but I guess you just have to make the best of it. Right, I just mean, like, in the timeline we're talking about, like this period in the future, in an alien world,

no one is uttering the lines like, oh, my whole life, I've just wanted to be a mom. Yeah, like, that's never happened. There's no reproductive care. Maybe on the Hyundai planet, whatever the fuck, Ivana. But, like, that maybe there they're thinking about this ship, but it certainly is not happening on Jackson. Ooh, I'm sorry for an abortion, there'll be 600,000. credits. Or you'll have to work

for another seven years. Then we'll do it. Well, it's seven years then. Bucket. I do like the line that they point out here that the space station doesn't look abandoned. It looks deserted. In other words, like, they didn't come to the end of this thing's use and just get rid of it. They fled

for some reason. Or in the case of the reality, we're fucking torn asunder by a Zeno Morve. Or several. One fella is just hollowed out. I hate seeing something like that in a while. I like it. We do eventually get a director cameo as one of the corpses. Oh, is that right?

Oh, is he the hollow of that guy? He's the guy floating in the hallway. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's neat. You just see like the front of him and everything else behind him. It's gone. But yes, we get to this research lab. It's got water, like a couple of inches of water in it.

That's uncomfortable. And it's, again, it does have these. And it's cold water too, right? That's going to suck. When they go in there, it locks them in. It's like, oh, wow, this is like great. What we go do? Do you do something?

Now all of a sudden is like, oh, Andy, do something, man. Right, yeah. Me, save us sure that I can kill you immediately, please. I want to keep yelling at just save me bollocks. Did he already save his life at this point with that hole? He did, yes. He skipped over that. They walked, he almost falls through a hole.

Like Andy grabs him and you think, it's actually a cool moment. So you think he's about to fight him. Right. But he's preventing. It's just a joke. It's just a joke or whatever, yeah. Stepping through an acid hole. It's a xenomorph.

After they've, seen a half a body that might just be somebody I fucking hate a torn asunder synth body with its head conveniently facing away from the camera but that's so funny you mentioned the acid hole

I mean an asshole almost went down an acid hole that would have been kind of fun there you go but yeah so they pull this fuel cell out awesomely Bjorn's fingers get frozen any bad thing to happen this guy is great give him a headache like honestly things I can't even see

that's fine one of my favorite deaths later I look a good way I do like the little reveal here because you're like what could they possibly be doing in this room or whatever and you see a computer screen and it's like oh last thing analyzed oh is that a facehugger

I see oh excellent yeah we should definitely be studying dozens of these things I do love like the production design of this movie is really good just the ship consoles that little flickering image of that they do a good job of building this world it's just a shame

that decided to cannibal the franchise. I should, I should point that. Like, I do think the design work the tech team on this was great. They work our app. I think it's the creative team that we have to talk to here. So they realize that Andy does not have the proper

credits, or credentials rather, to unlock the door. Rain and Navarro come to help out and they have this notion of, oh, you know, here's this chip we have. If we upgrade Andy to the ship specifications, he should get all of the

proper clearances and stuff. Let's get the little thing from the Android that was already there. The Android that we found on the, on the seat, we'll get his thing. And I do, I like the notion. Anyone have rubbing alcohol first of all, clean these things? Totally. Like, if I had to slide some rubbing alcohol

in the Q-tip over like N-E-S cartridges, I would imagine you've got to clean off this little time. Just a little bit of a cute-tipping, things shaking like, come on. Fuck! I've got an eyelash out of it. Fuck, it's going to take forever. This is, I'm fucking. Could be playing Mario 3 by now. Never mind it. I do like that Johnson, when they put it in,

like it literally looks like he's asking God why. Yes. Like when he has to reboot. Like that's an interesting idea. I'm glad, you know, this movie made money. It looks like he might be, if there's a sequel, he might make it. It sounds like there is going to be a sequel. I hope he's in it because I think he's one of the very best parts of this movie.

I mean, too, I just. Alien Caesar. Or is it Remus? Or we find the other. Oh, maybe no, Remus. Alien wolf tit. Well, thank God both half of those things. It's destroyed.

It's destroyed. Okay. So what are we going to do next? I don't know. Pantheon or? Oh, there you go. Yeah, there you go. Uh, what about an alien colon, the Olympics?

Alien Olympiad, dude. Alien Olympia. You want Greek on that one. Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right. But think about those guys.

Took a left turn there on stuff. There you know, alien Roman shower. How about that? That's good. What's that? Bruce La Bruce. That's a sex thing. Look at his face.

It is. Oh, it is fucking, his face. What is that now, you fucking pervert? I want a Roman shower. I don't have my phone on me so I can't Google it. You want me to Google it for you? Yes, please Google it. My phone's already brick.

I believe it is a, it's a blood situation. Oh. So are you getting into blood play now, dude? No, I've skipped it. He's just looking into it. A Roman shower, also known as a wet room, is a shower that doesn't have a door currant. Okay.

Is that what you're talking about? No, I think you want Roman showers. Sex. plus sex act or slang. Just talking about bathroom fixtures. Oh, the urban dictionary. There we go. There we go. The act of vomiting on another person usually for sexual gratification. Or is a way of humiliation. Got it. Oh, that's the robin show. You know what? Good luck to you all.

It's funny. None of this was in Gladiator. Similar to the golden shower only involving vomit instead. Oh, okay. So that's wrong about blood. Okay. Oh, you're thinking of a Transylvanian showers. Just realized that. Let me do, let me, Roman shower sex length blood. Oh, that's, okay. Oh, there's smoke coming out of your phone. Yeah, the clax on up. The fucking Romulus is coming off. It sounds like a lot of it is a vomit place. So you get into a vomit place?

I've skipped it. He's just looking it up. He's just watching it. He doesn't mean he's just aware of it. It was in the news. It was in the news. It was in the newsletter you don't do everything you're fascinated by er yes i do do you well then we have to have a few talk cool he's a serial killer yeah but several times over i'll never tell they they switch his cartridge and now yes he's uh he's upgraded he's kind of talking like he in home yes takes takes a little while because as he's rebooting all the fucking face hoggers that have ever existed in the world start coming out of their fucking in the water there's something in the water

this is kind of great because like the heat in the room is like the temperature is just nicked me leg sorry the temperature is rising in the room and I love this instance of all the little guys popping out hatching because of the heat and just swimming around it's great it's so fucking cool

man and there's a lot of puppet stuff here you know you can tell you can feel it which is what you can't the second you start going to CGI with all this stuff, it loses the charm of this franchise. And Navarro, again, she's like doing the math. She's like, don't open that door. I don't like

what's going on in there. You know what I mean? Seems like this would be a mistake to do this. But they do open the door and they all start running out. Yes. Right. And it's the funny, like the one gets through and at first you're like, well, that's manageable. And then the whole thing, they all just start running out.

And this was in the trailer, them being chased by all the facehuggers and dodging them as they whip by and everything. Not too bad. There's a lot of use of facehuggers in this one, I think. They actually use them as antagonists versus... They do get a lot of play, yeah.

Forward, yeah. The Bjorn has some sort of electric cattle prod kind of thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's trying to hit some of those ways. That comes into play a little later. What doesn't one, like, go on Tyler and he uses it and the guy falls down to in the shock? Yes. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He does get zapped right there. But so basically a facehugger gets... Almost inserts the thing into Tyler, by the way. It's just, it's a real close call. It's a really almost about a shoot in his face. Then it finally gets Navarro. She's down. And then here comes Rook, played by Ian Holm, who's like, I wouldn't need it.

Is it played by Ian Holmes? It is not. I'm sorry. You're right. Good call. Apologies. Rook played by fucking, what, what's the thing on Twitter, Grock? Is that what we call it?

Oh, sure, I guess. Yes. Software model BX7. Here's what's weird is there's a guy on like IMDB who's credited as both doing the Ian Holm impression and doing the moving part. Like it's a weird like he did a facial performance and then they put Ian Holm over it. So there's a guy actually talking at the actors. Well, maybe he should have not covered up his lips. I was going to say, if you would just let the Holy Motor style, just leave the green guy in there.

I've been much happier. Aside from the morality of it and the even like the artistic nature that you're destroying by doing this, it just looks like shit too. Like that's the thing is it's that it doesn't even look good. So then why do it? Dude, and like, because it's the future. Yeah. We were just, we mentioned it earlier, but like that he, Fetty had something about like, we couldn't finish it in time for release. And now we're still working on it for the home.

And I'm, I watched it on Hulu. Yeah, it looks different and it still looks terrible. It looks terrible. horrible like why and like the reason you're not saying it is because it was like no we have to like they're telling us we have to do it because it's the guy from the thing but it's just amazing when there's other people could go I saw the guy it's the guy from the other one I that's there's other people from the other one who are still breathing oxygen on this earth that could have done it but it's irrelevant that it's rook you know what I mean exactly it absolutely is

well it is also this thing about AI right now which is like we're looking for reasons to to use it, which makes no fucking sense. Because nobody wants it. Nobody wants it. So then don't use it. Let's have more fucking rain for us. They've already put the money into it. If they don't get their money back, that's the whole thing. That's all of it. And I've just, every time

I've heard people just sitting around, like, oh, help me make a list at work. I'm like, I could make you a fucking list at work. Yeah. Like, all of that shit. Like, oh, AI schedule helper. You know what my schedule is for like how I figure out what we're watching and when we're recording and what I'm editing?

I have the notes app. And I write Monday, you're doing this, motherfucker. Tuesday, you're doing that, motherfucker. I don't need some fucking robot to make a work schedule for me. I think the beekeeper should visit all these AI people. Dude, yeah, beekeeper too, AI Bougaloo. Let's fucking do it, dude. Adam Clay.

Yeah, save the hive. People need jobs. Animators need jobs. They're what, they're getting into AI podcasts now. Dude, yeah, there was a thing where they can look through your blue sky discover tab and make an AI generated podcast feature. to listen to you. How about I just fucking jump into a volcano? What are you

talking about? I mean, you know, I guess we're sort of AI because we're stupid. We're stupid, but nowhere are you are being. You're not artificial. It's not official. It's true. We're genuine. Wait, wait, no, it's... We're the genuine article. But not intelligence. We're just have to figure out a way.

True idiocy. That's what you're looking for. East Coast, low class, low breeding, stupid. Like, real salt of the earth. Baseborn, bottom, feet. It's just amazing, though, right? It's like we make, not we in this room, but douchebags make decisions that are like, you know what, let's weigh having another fucking California fire just so I can put a dead guy's face in a movie.

Exactly. What are you even doing? Just get a shovel. Get a shovel and get digging. How about that, you lazy son of a bitch? Again, like it doesn't, it doesn't look good. It doesn't, it doesn't function. Literally no positives.

No positive. There's no, and he is the antagonist of the movie. And as much as I want to give this movie Plaudits because I do like a lot of it It really weighs it down And so here he is He's like, your friends will not survive Because your friend has a 60-40% chance of survival already

He's a collector It is a little Morgan Freemaness This dude's impression of Ian Holmes Should say the guy's name is Daniel Betts Who's just thinking right now You know it would be great if you got an actor You got Elijah Wood is this character Oh, hey

Now we're thinking with both hands. And it's like you've got the Hobbit connection so at least you're like, oh, that's kind of like you. You can even elbow nudge your buddy and be like that's kind of like Ian Holm a little bit. Yep. There you go. And what's crazy too is like in this movie we're introduced to Andy

who we've never seen before. He's amazing. And that's a new synth, right? So like theoretically there's other synth models on the spaceship. It's not like you went to like let's say the first movie the Nostromo was not destroyed. And you find the ship and it's abandoned or whatever. in, sure, it would make

sense that Rook might be there. Ash is the character. Or Ash, yes, yeah. But the same. Yes, that model. Exactly. So, like, then you'd be like, well, why wasn't he there? But this, it's a whole other space thing you, maybe get Elijah Wood in there. To Steve's point, like, and to praise the MCU, get ready, folks.

They recast. They recast Terrence Howard. They recast people. Yes. When it doesn't work out. Do that. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. It's totally fine. So, but he's basically, you have 40% chance of living. like, you know, basically Andy is, you can tell something that's wrong with Andy here,

like the way that they're looking at each other, there's something sinister afoot. You also know anything Will and Yatani's not going to be good. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's always a decent sign. There's a calamity of foot. I think Isabella Berset is wearing conversees in this movie, which is interesting, which means that there is a converse outlet on this.

Really? I took over the moon. Rain definitely has Reeboks on. Okay. We see that when she's crawling up the elevator shop. Oh, Planet Zat. Appos. I can't get off planet, but I got free shipping. You know, it sucks being basically an indentured slave here on this planet.

But, you know, on the plus side, 30-day return window. So what job are you got? I'm working in the Reebok mines. It's rough down there. You know, in a way, I do appreciate those tethers to Earth. Like the smoking. People are smoking cigarettes in this movie. Yeah.

just like Alien 1 and all that Totally Basically Basically how do we get this thing off her You'll kill her if you do anything to it You know Right And be like oh I oh I a key offer

Get that keys her off a face Take care of this and then I'll kill you How will that? Rook also explains that so like he basically explains What all happened to the space station or whatever You know they found the body of the old xenomorph or whatever And there's a xenomorph that has run, it's the xenomorph

has come back to life and has run roughshot all over the space station and that's why indeed it is not abandoned, it is decimated. In the last moment they did its final revenge was its acid blood. A swan song cut through the hall

and caused a huge explosion. Somewhere in like space heaven, Yafet Koto's like, fucking told you got right through the hall. Fucking finally. Well, yeah, he, you know, like, the ghost fucking points up to an alien

that has been held in a bunch of wires. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's our, that's our... That's what's happening to your buddy here. Right. Nowvro's going to have one of them. Um, I do, oh, some subtitle stuff here when they're looking at Navarro and like the things on it or whatever. It says, uh, subtitles go, parasite, squelching.

Oh, and I thought back to the fucking society mentary, dude, squelching there is a good one. I was going to say there are a few really good. I had some titles on as well. When the main theme comes up in the beginning, intriguing music plays. How well isn't that something? Yeah, that's nice.

But yeah, Rick, you know, he tells Andy, like, you need to help these humans because they're going to complete the little mission for us. Wink, wink. And they find a way to get the facehugger off. It's like, oh, if we, you know, if we zap the tail at the same time as we do X, Y, and Z, we can get it off to face, which they do. Right. It's the cry of

freeze it. And they get it off and scurries away pretty funny. It does. And she's just like oh, they got I'm normal now. This is awesome. Yeah, no, back to normal. Yep. That's, you know what? Let's pack it up. Let's get back home. Let's do it. I want to be next to you guys.

Does that might want to sleep on my chest? I might want to just have a nice nap and, you know, cuddle up. There's the suspicion around here that Andy, uh, they think he's trying to kill Navarro or something like that, which is, you know, which is pretty good. Because you get my mom. You get my mom. Is he?

That's kind of a great. As they're going, so they, they run back to the ship, right? Navarro and Bjorn. Yes. Get back to the ship because yeah, Navarro's like, fuck all y'all, I'm out of here. And Kay, I think is still back there. Yeah, she's like sleeping. She's sleeping with the baby. Yes.

And it's a quick, I mean, it's zombie rules. It's always been with the alien. Like, it's a pretty quick turn around to get this thing out. It's pretty quick. I like this device that Navarro introduces a little earlier in the movie and she's using it right here. It's like a little gun that can produce, like you can see through by a biological

material here. Yeah, it's cool. She puts it on her back and oh, what did you know man? Just our little guys baking away. Dude, he pops out particularly fast. Just really I guess like Navarro just she's younger so it's like more nutrients or

whatever. Like I feel like you're going through John Hurt. It's kind of like This is an old bastard It happened so fast I thought this was space balls Oh my baby Oh yeah John Hurt you got all those years of hamburger and stuff And I'm supposed to grow in this It's disgusting in me

Can't you get me some bok choy What is he smoking Dunhills? Disgusting What do you order the special? That's what I ordered Change my order But Navarro like having this freak out Whatever she falls on the ground she kicks a lever and the ship launches off. Is that all this the way?

Just what an unfortunate thing. And this this fuck up is what I think changes the trajectory of the Renaissance station and makes it so that it's not 36 hours, it's the remaining runtime of the film before it crashes into the rings of the planet or whatever. Well, I do appreciate

a ticking clock to it. Yeah, exactly. No, it works. But again, it's literally what happens at the end of Alien Resurrection. Yeah. And I mean, it all like it ends itself pretty nicely like the ship kind of goes over it crashed into something and I think that's what causes it to go off kilter

it crashes into one of the like ignite ignition like it ignites a fuel cell thing and it pushes it but then it immediately somehow it like banks itself into the one open fucking hangar oh yeah the ship that they're on swings back around and so that puts them on the other

it puts them on the Romulus side of the space station Damn it. Fuck, I just wish they were going to die, but now they're back in here. Now, Andy, we know, we know, okay, man, we know. Could you help us?

Come on. Come on. It's the easy thing. Andy has had a little secret meeting with Rook. We don't know what happens in there. Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Nefarious alien stuff.

I do like Navarro her fucking final words here. Please don't let me die. This thing just goes, which is pretty sweet. But yeah, we're smashed back into the Romulus. Loading Bay and yes indeed 47 minutes Until impact with the rings

Oh and when the chest burst Happens our pregnant girl here Kay right? Yeah Great screen oh yeah really good Horror screen this is it's really well done Because she's yeah you're right I forgot about the she is over her Like you know what's going on The chest burst happens

This is I mean if you like a good blood spray like that dude That's all of the Edel Dead remake there There's just oh my maculate blood spray That is a very wet movie. It rains blood in that movie. Which I will say the apartment movie also is pretty wet. It's pretty wet. I was talking about the apartment movie.

The apartment movie is fucking wet. Oh, no, but in Fettie's remake, it literally rains blood in the movie. Also fucking great. Good movie. But yes, now it's we have to get across to the other section of the space station to, yeah, I guess help them. But more importantly, get to the ship so we can get the hell out of here is the idea. And this is where, oh, this is.

So this is where, I gotta tell you, the thing here, I like this sequence of we gotta get through the face hugger hallway, but boy, is this a video game mission if you ever, it's a Resident Evil, like, you gotta go slow enough so they don't understand. I kind of thought of a Sean of the Dead while I was watching this. It's like pretend that we're dead. Oh, yes, totally.

Well, it's also very Jurassic Park too. Right. You can't see if you don't move. Oh, if you're in the same. Now all of a sudden, I mean, I guess it ended up eyes so it makes sense. We've ever explored this. Like, how can they find people?

Sure. But it's just the heat signature thing. It's a little easy. You know, I'm totally fine with it also because I love a good run down a corridor where this ends up. And they're running down and Andy almost closes the door on them. Yes. But I didn't. I calculated it perfectly.

The change of his character from Andy to calculated Andy is really good. Johnson saves it because that is another one of my bigger issues is that it is, I think it's like video game movie all over the place. Like the way it rolls out, the way. The way the sequences are like, you have to do this thing. And then this thing, that means you only have one clip of bullets. That means you have 450 shots. When we're teaching how to use the gun, big time, that's another one. And then Rook just saying, like, give me control of the ship so I can activate the cutscene.

Yeah, totally. No, you don't want to hold down X through all of this. You want to watch me do it, right? You want the cinematic, right? Push X to help save Navarro. You failed. At one point, K finds out that the xenomorph has grown. into its cocoon phase, the face auguration

is grown into its cocoon phase and this is where it is very vaginal looking cocoon. It's about as vaginal as anything in the alien franchise which is about as vaginal as some pornography you could easily look at it. I mean, it is just a big green Godzilla vagina. Do you spot something like this in your Roman shower?

I did not. This is more species level. Yeah, oh, big time. If you puke on a vagina and I can become green. Have you done the research on it? He did his own research. Oh, Eric. That's right. He's just asking questions.

Yes, exactly. I'm just asking the important questions. Here's an important question. Who thought this was a good idea? Bjorn with his little zapstick that he just inserts into this fucking space. Because you understand, it's my dick. He's my dick going to put into my vagina. It is just such a real as everyone paying attention with this thing.

And he's like shocking this fucking gleep-clop inside there. And it's like screaming and what about. I'm giving it to the sucker. I'm giving it to the sucker. I don't want to zap you to But yeah He inserts that in there It doesn't seem to work out for him

It doesn't at all He does not hit the Zeno spot No he misses the X spot Dude because the fucking little claw tail comes out and just gangs this kid a little And you start clapping in your apartment If you're me Absolutely

But it's not enough Could you do more please? The blood right? Yes It just starts dripping on this guy his face. All his fingers. His fingers.

Oh, yeah, it gets the fingers. Yes, yes. It's great. And then the whole, like,

you know, instinctively you cover your face with your hands. Well, there go your hands. Yeah, you just see this dude's like fingers melt away.

Like, that's all pretty strange. Which is actually, I mean, in resurrection, I was thinking about when that guy gets it on his ear,

which is crazy! Oh, that poor fuck. Right, the dude from Amelie. Yeah. But this is so much, I will say,

this is better. He gets it really bad. This is, you know, to kind of remind me of remember that part where you're talking about in the second paul blart movie where he falls on the floor and he starts getting like the stuff dribbled on his face or the ice cream on his face i was kind of thinking about that watching this it's just acid blood instead it's delicious it's exactly what this character deserves uh oh big time absolutely uh rest in piss

bjorn please fuck you no doubt about i hope it keeps dripping on you i hope you're gone by all this This is the second K takes a hard fall right around here. She goes flying. I would not be worried about. I would be picking schools in my head if I was right. Well, I don't think you get to pick on the Monarchar. Well, Yvaga, there's just the one school they set up, I think. It is a dystopian future.

There might be a charter school. There might be. Oh, right. Yeah, that could be. I don't know. I think Kay Jr. is going to go to St. Peter's class next. I don't know. If it's a charter school, dude, you'd probably have more rains than Andy's in there.

Of course. Yeah, I don't want my rain to go in an Andy school. I do like the Andy delivery around here when they realize what's going on. He's got a good run. Yes. Which is pretty sweet when they get found out by the face huggers. Yeah, they're doing this cool thing where they're walking really, really slowly and like warm and like don't

allow yourself to have goosebumps. Which is like, I don't know, dude. That's pretty difficult. Yeah, what do you want to do here? And then Kay calls and she's on a scratch, like she's screaming, come get me. Oh my God. There's something coming. And it's like, all the faceluckers are like, Is that a phone call?

We're in the middle of a movie. I can't believe it. It's so rude. Oh, my God. Silence your phones, people. This is ridiculous. Didn't you listen to the red M&M? He had a good point there.

No, I'm going to eat you. Didn't you listen to the red M&M and M? I do love when she's, when Kay is hiding in this little cargo bay or whatever it is, I love that you can hear the xenomorph like bouncing around all the platforms looking. for, like, come on, come out, come out wherever you are, pregnant lady. Yeah, I could smell that too. Oh, you got a little facehugger inside you. Oh, that's beautiful.

And so she runs up. Osletoff, by the way. She runs up to the door and they're on the other side of it. And it's like, oh, quick, Andy, open this door. And he sees the xenomorph like, come on. He turns around and he does the Dennis Nedry. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, not opening. They're like, dude, robots, come on, do it.

We're screaming at him. Like, it's a very intense situation. I think Kelly Spuddy's really good here. Bjorn was right. You hear me? He was right. I need you to open the door. That's what the creature wants.

Oh, cold line. She slaps him in the face, breaks her hand a little bit, which is kind of fun. And Andy just lets the Zeno get K just tosses this lady away here. And then, like, I don't care who we are. When you see her again, you'll be like, how so you survive? Yeah. This is awkward. you're glued to the wall

so nothing bad happened let's go back to the ship together how am I going to have to kill you that's the question I'm weighing now just take one of those space marine guns and blow her head off it's fine it's really awesome right here though because the slap she slaps

Andy rain does and she goes how could you do that and man if you ever wanted to see a robot get revenge using only words he turns around to her and immediately fires back what leaves someone behind all rain fucking deal with that girl yeah he's got a fucking dug chip in him in him now dude he's ready to fucking take it little catty this robot hell yeah but i do she also

get your humor shutting up to a nine to five percent there uh how about that she just set this thing to don rickles yes she does hey short stuff how you doing oh fuck they set andy the insult comic god damn why don't you get a horse go up to the mountains Don't bother anyone. Up in Yavaga, fucking nine. Oh, sure. You want my old programming? It's right up here.

Come and grab it. Come and grab it. Where's that Bjorn, that baby gorilla? I do. Dude in dirty work is so fucking good. It's classic wrinkles, man. Oh, God damn it. He's talking to his belly.

Hello, ice cream. Having fun running around down there. And the normal time is like, what are you laughing? You're talking to his belly. Belly is pretty funny. fucking great movie oh god damn yeah but so she does ask him here

because she's like piecing it together she's like what is your primary function and it's like I have a new primary function it's what's best for the company and it's like yeah that's oh crap oh crap

but she Andy gets them to the the Romula section this is where we get all this stuff about Rook synthesized the DNA from the xenomorph to make this Z-O-1 compound serum that's like an upgrade for humanity he says. It's basically the Prometheus Goop.

Right, yeah. It reconstitutes this dead mouse or whatever. And what Andy says, oh, it worked on the mouse and 20% of human is mouse. Yes. I got 20% of mouse in me. Oh, hell yeah. And that's why I like cheese. Not long after it, we see the mouse and it looks like a, I don't know. A living nightmare. A living nightmare.

And I'm like, okay, cool. I'll never use this stuff. Let me just put this in the never use column. You never use this is also where here are some guns that you should never use. But they could maybe give the creature pause if it comes at you. If they see you, yeah, like the whole, if the Xenomerv's like, wow, wow, well, put the piece away, buddy. Well, all right, I'm out of here. I do like the auto aim.

It looks, it's a pretty cool little aiming device and stuff we made for this. Pretty sweet. And it would also function well. an alien third person shooter game to help you. If you're on easy mode the auto lock is there. And it stops Reddit for me. How'd that little girl does you, aliens? So good. She never

trained in guns and firearms. Dude, it's point and click anyway, by the way. Totally. But yes, Rook says they can't wait for evolution anymore. And the funny thing is, again, it is for the all-Idi aller here. Because he's like,

we're finding that all of these humans we're putting in the minds are just eating shit and that's not good for profit so now we can make them fucking alien human hybrids they can do things like reheal themselves etc better faster stronger all that shit just to get back down in the mines

we're going to get that last 12% we're going to get that shit that's right a new iPhone's coming out once we do this all you want it you got iPhone 673 here it come but unfortunately we have to mine now because we destroyed all of our natural resources making old actors come back to

life in the mid-2020s, as you remember. Last week, Timothy Shalamee came back for Little Women's Seven, and he looked bad. We destroyed an entire rainforest just so John Candy could be in a Star Trek movie. I mean, that's sort of what you have to think about now is like when I die and in the future, who are they going to resurrect? I mean, I'm not saying me. I'm saying I'm going to miss out on all architecture. I'm going to miss out on Josh Brolin being a zombie. You're going to miss out on so much ghost Paul Giamatti.

They're going to throw Ghost Paul Giamatti and everything. Like a lot of like sad commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that voice. You can't duplicate that voice. Come on down to Johnson Ford Toyana. Well, we'll give you a deal. That's a steal.

I'm loving it. Dude, yeah, here's. And long dead actor Paul Giamatti for McDonald's. Wait till they get a load of me at Pizza Hut and you'll notice the dead eyes 30% better

just took a couple thousand years we've got 30% better on those dead eyes it's just fucking Jack Nicholson jankly dancing to the song Trust by Princess God damn sashated to the hut man it's just

there's not been a good idea that's created from this Jack Nicholson plus Christopher Walk and Dance weapon of choice you just created art man you know what you know it's all up here it's all it's just buzz in all the time

and it was awesome man because a fucking community of spider monkeys burned to death in the Amazon exactly so you could do that and you know what this thing here

this beautiful creation up here in my nagging here that thing it just works on monster energy drink baby that's all it costs that thing just goes that baby just goes it's powered off of monster energy

and PC gaming it doesn't need it doesn't need no food or nothing just monster energy drink the white kind if you could so the zeno's still hunting them and uh we have a pretty killer sequence here another another hallway sequence but this is the one where they go in and it's like people they're strung up all the shell casings and whatever these zinos do when they take over a hallway like this and i really love all this uh they seem to have been here for some time jesus christ yes busy little creatures yes he probably was

a xenomorph himself but probably that's how he came back that's right yeah he came because they couldn't hold him on the cross with that blood melted right through just put a little X57H in him but yes they're like oh shit guess we should just go back the other way

and then Tyler's like no no no shut up robot I think I hear someone struggling and screaming and boy howdy here's still alive, just in this cocoon. Set fire to it. Yes. You're only option. You'll do a huge favor.

All right. So she's alive, but she's gravely wounded. Do not take X-Factor 1 if you were pregnant or maybe become pregnant. That black goop that she's just like, yeah, give it to me. No, dude. I would rather die a natural, painful death than whatever mutant shit

is about to have, then inject myself with the substance. Okay, I get it. Whatever it's going to make its way out of you, which is what's eventually going to happen. It's not going to be as nice as the substance. You just fucking go out the back door. That's nice. This is, yeah, when

Andy's like, it worked on the rat. Here's the Z-O-1. I gotta say, this house of horror is here. And again, folks, I'm sorry, still not a slasher movie. But this house of horror is where it's just all of the crew of the Renaissance just strung up and all, you know, and some of them are hollowed out, you know, dead bodies or whatever.

I mean, like, again, like aliens started with horror. It makes sense to play in that in that sandbox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not a slasher movie. And it should be good. That is the, that is the. The Zeno's hot on their trail. I do love, there's a great shot of Kaylee Spanney's like,

tending to K. And it's one of those. And I feel like the movies do this here and there throughout the franchise, where you're watching a frame and the Zeno was already in it, but you don't know it until it like scoots out of the way. And you're like, holy fucking shit. That happened.

right here she's just tending to her like it's gonna be okay whatever and the guy's like he just moves you're like oh fuck there's one he's right there this is what tyler gets it basically Tyler gets picked up by the tail here because they're gonna uh because Cayley is over K and it's gonna get Kaye and then he just get he sees

oh right yeah he steps in yes and they he gets it's because they gets got a little like scorpion tail there picks him up couple of them have a lunch there oh fuck this is it's awesome dude he gets brought up like into the you know their main meeting space and then Kayley is like Dinner's on.

You get the little head out of the mouth smack in his face. Yes, that's pretty great. And then you see all the other dudes coming down the tunnel. I'm starving. And that Kelly Spitz says, who am I going to fuck on your Vaga for now?

Great. Great. Hope there's other people there. Can I detach any part of you, Andy? There's it. Oh. Not seen good. For research and development.

For research and development. Specifically, yes. Because I don't know if Andy's working with anything or not. Oh, yeah, that's true. I don't know if they're fully. Maybe they could graph that on Tyler's... That's an upgrade, I think. Yeah, do synths in the alien world have genitalia?

Because we don't know what else they're used. I mean, like, Andy's like a... He's raised her or whatever. Clearly, if it's a fuck bot... Yes, you do do that. But I don't know if that's just like across the board. Can we just do that? Yeah, if this was addressed before, I do not recall.

Yeah, I don't. I don't remember. Senator, I do not recall if the synthetics in the alien franchise come with genitalia. That means yes. Look, okay. We're going to do it. They're all going to have genitalia. you but I'm going to tell you this right now

because of material costs micropenuses. Nothing but micropenuses on all of these. That's a good point. So they make an escape up an elevator shaft and they get up to a certain point and Raines like, you know, telling Kay, listen, keep going I'm going to go back

stupidly for Andy who gets like left down there like all right. I mean he is your like skeleton key so I guess there's that. You want that. Yeah, exactly. This is what she starts to realize the gravity. If she uses it upside down, she could actually shoot these

things, it's not going to be so bad. Right, yeah, because she, uh, there is a moment here that's pretty cool, like, right as this is about to happen, where she kind of has, like, this is her, uh, like the first of the two, like, Ripley shots. And it's her, and she's got the gun and she's on the platform. And there's, like,

wind blowing and she's like ready to rock and roll. Like, it's a pretty cool. I mean, this is also near when they do the Reeboks, too. I mean, we're just saying Ripley, Ripley, Ripley, Ripley throughout this movie. And Kay goes back up to this ship. She's still on the elevator thing. They sent her back up, I think. She's like getting this cryopod and you can be,

you can take a break from the movie at this point. Can we have that pain where it feels like all of your genes are changing at the same time? I'm getting that right now. It's like all over. I feel like I'm on fire. But I'm not on fire, right? Here so much. Just literally everywhere on my body.

I don't know what that means. Okay, you know what? I'm going to go to sleep. That's fine. But, yeah, the Zeno just kind of, like, continues stalking them. She turns Andy back into normal Andy right here. She makes the deal with him right here, right? I will, like, I can fix you, but the deal is I got to take out the upgrade is the idea,

which in that point changes his prerogative, his mission there, back to what it was before, thus separating him from Rook. Yes. And she even said, I mean, is it here where she? She's like, no, later, your new mission is... What's best for us? Us. That's later.

Going forward, yeah, your mission is the best best. Because right now is the, it's the... The other fight. No, isn't it the, when she shoots the and the spirals of... Yeah, we haven't done the gravity. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's going back in. Rook has been fighting, trying to trick K into turning over.

Right. Because she hasn't gotten in the pod yet, but she's back on the ship and he's like, you know, if you just turn those controls over to manual, I can take over and get you back to your planet, save me. Right. Your friends are dead and they sacrifice, you know, themselves for you. Give me your controls to honor their sacrifice. You could be alive for weeks. I mean, you could just live for a whole month maybe.

You, your healthy non-mutant baby, all of them. Definitely. I just want to underline non-mutant again. I just think it's going to be a normal baby. I just did a scan. I haven't seen something more normal in my life. Once again, you know, eight pounds, 10 ounces, five fingers. on each hand, five toes on each

six ounces of fangs. I can't really explain to you the shape. Six foot tail, you know, the usual. Several things are going on there, but it's a healthy one. But this is where rain is like oh, I think we're fucked right here. You know, she and

Andy are laying on the floor, doing some dad jokes back and forth. The Zenos are coming and she's like, oh, wait a second, what if I tried a little something here? Detaches the artificial gravity. All the Zeno go flying and she starts shooting these things because now it's like the blood can flow up I think this is such a neat idea it's a cool idea it's a little easy uh I wish there were less aliens honestly

because it just she just works like seven or at once yeah she's really going through them which again and yes with auto aim it's totally fine it just sort of it just some the alien movies always kind of have this problem ever since aliens I should say is like it's either really easy to kill an alien or fucking impossible and we never decide which sure it's just always Based on convenience. Right. That is 100% correct. In this case, with the gun we're using, the rounds will fly right through them and kill them.

I think also you need so many because then you get the awesome twirling. It's really whirling acid blood. And then you have like go through. Which this is just, hear me out now. The water stage is that Nintendo Ninja Turtles game where you can't get zapped by the electric seaweed? Somehow I knew you were going to say. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it's, it would be impossible just like that. Yes, exactly. That's the things with this is like, because if they, if the blood hits the floor, they're in the lowest level, it'll open up the space.

Yeah, they're right at the bottom. But I don't know, you fart the wrong way. It's going to happen. Yes, exactly. Anything that moves will move it. I do love her like firing off the gun to lower herself as one. That's a nice, like, tense moment. It's pretty cool.

But then, yes, they get back to the elevator and it's the, they're climbing. are they climbing up at first or do they have to do that after it crashes? They're climbing up and I think the thing is above them at this point. They're climbing up it and it's like all right, the gravity is like back to normal. We climb up it or whatever. There's a little Zeno down there at the bottom, you know. It's Kaylee Spani by the foot.

Yes. And Andy is going all the way up. The elevator is coming down. I think it's stuck on something and Andy loosens it and gets it to move down. Yes, because he sort of presses his back up against the wall and it falls down. You know, this is pretty effective. like little action scene because like the gravity goes back on while this is going on she's got to grab the ladder yeah this it's all really fucking cool all this stuff I you know it's another like yes it's sort of video gameesque but this you know I kind of yeah as a set piece of yeah no it's pretty sweet still good stuff to this movie despite issues um but yeah like Kay falls down at this point into the loving embrace of his you know more for around this gotcha yeah yeah But yeah, Andy dropping the elevator to take out all the Xenos is, oh, God, it's pretty sweet.

The Kelly Spenny has, Kay is in the pod. What? Kayley gets grabbed by the xenomorph, right? Yes. Andy drops, I'm saying Andy drops the elevator because there's like a bunch of them climbing up and it all. She gets grabbed by the xenomorph twice. Because like once she's going up, it pulls her down. But then when she falls when the gravity goes off again, it catches her.

She's four foot three. This thing's pulling her leg right off. This is like the hull has been breached now Because the blood because the gravity went back on So the blood fell on the floor And the elevator takes out a few more of these aliens I do like Andy There's like the last one's getting close

Whatever and Andy jumping down on it Firing the gun But then he says it He certainly does This is the stay away from her you bitch Why would he say bitch? You need to in that sense In that sense you need to have that

set up earlier like Bjorn needs to be like oh andy you're a bitch you know that your bitch that's the way to do it or you could do how about a flashback to to the father setting up and he's doing dad jokes but he's also very misogynist give me a beer bitch yeah so now andy's just like give me a beer bitch well and what's crazy too is the delivery is bad because it's not the character saying it it's the screenplay acknowledging another movie because it's not the way Sigourney does it. Stay away from her, you bitch. It's stay away from her.

Is everyone in the audience ready? Stay with me. Stay with me. Yep. You bitch. The thing is if he just says it real quick, maybe okay. But it does. The movie pauses.

He waits for the claptor. Yep. He's going to say, he's going to say it. Yep. No, exactly. But right as that is happening, the impact event. is occurring right now and I love looking at all this

the space station hitting the rings of the moon it's really really cool eating a bunch of shit and like basically they run back to their little ship there this is a great and dude I don't know geez it's tough but I think this is the worst

Rook looks in the entire movie because he realizes like the ship's station entirely is crashing into this thing and they make this fucking ghoulish visage just go no yes yeah and it makes the dumbest face god damn

I mean if you had to do Rook and you had to do some resurrection of a dead actor like maybe he uploaded his consciousness into the computer just give your voice dude if it's a guy just doing an Ian Holm impression

and you want to maybe glitchily animate him on a screen sure that's completely different than just this fucking puppet this grotesque puppet that would make Jeff Dunham throw up but this is the, you know, everybody appears

to be safe now. The base station's your classic, we're going to start tucking people in. Yep, exactly. You always tuck people in too early in these movies. This is the this is where they say the initiative is do what's best for us, she says. Right, yes, they put everyone in the cryo, sleep. And she's like, I don't care your company,

you'll vodka for with me, we'll figure something out. Right. Maybe we'll put on a fake mustache. They'll never know. Don't worry about it. God, geez, why is there a red leg of case? What's wrong with this? No synthetic dude has been made with a mustache. They're clean, shaving only.

Steinbrenner invented them. Making history here. Mattingly X-O-4, shave off those sideburns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is, yeah, again, we always put people to sleep a little too early here because it's like, all right, Kay, now you're just going to get you up, and now here and now to relax on my own cry on. What's going on?

You already finished the adventures of, Cavalierant clouds. Jeez. Okay. Well, get your new book before you go in. All of a sudden, she is massively preggers out of nowhere right here. And you're just like, oh, boy, I know how this is going. What's that flashing noise and light?

Oh, it's the abomination alarm. Oops. Uh-oh. We're about to sin against God. Is everyone ready? Abomination imminent. Abomination imminent. But yeah, it's sort of like trying to, you know, racing to kill this thing.

but then there is a hesitation moment here and I'm like I don't know man save yourself the trouble zap it I would say you know what quickly get Andy out of there kick the whole cryo thing out of the back oh sure I think that's just the best at this point

you can stay awake for nine years you'll buy the food yeah you know cryosleep ain't gonna matter when you're dead you know War and Peace is a hell of a long book nine years is a good amount of time to just you can do that one hell you can get through the Bible too

Dr. Chavago's pretty big I hear I hear tell so rain goes down to like the cargo bay part of the ship here where this baby yes where they're transporting a bunch of ash or something like you gotta get I don't know what this is I need that ass by 440 445

lost my whole ship it's fucked another question I have about this why is the manual release for the cargo bay in the cargo bay so that you have to die yeah great question wouldn't it be just above it or something Maybe that's, like, the, what do you call it there? The safety one or something.

Okay. Here's a suicide lever. Here's the normal level. Make sure you use the normal lever. But she finds, oh, this thing is hatched already. It's grown very fast. Andy finds Kay and the baby is very massive, man. And this is when the baby, like, yes, do I think that this is absolutely ripping off

Alien Resurrection, yes. It's creepy in its own right, I think. It's a different enough design. Design, it's fine. I prefer the Alien Resurrection. Oh, me too. It kind of looks like one of the Prometheus guys. It does. It doesn't look like a navigator. But anorexic. Yes. Yeah, he hasn't

hit the gym yet. Right. Yeah. The problem is. He's like an Eastern Blocke's basketball player. He actually is. Exactly. Got him dead to rights. Darned him. Sadly, Baby Want Milky. That's not great. Oh, dude.

So what he kind of like just bites her tit off. Yeah, that's the other hurt. It's a pretty horrific way to go. Yeah. It's pretty brutal. Yeah. And it's crazy. I mean, there is some good tension here because this thing's like staring her down.

Like looking at it. And you don't know in that moment, right? Because like most people who have seen this movie have seen resurrection. And might remember like the thing was very like maternal to Sigourney and whatnot. And so you're like, how's this going to play? Oh, oh, you're just eating her chest. Oh, got it. I guess the difference there was because Ripley

at that point was also part alien. Oh, no, you totally right. Yeah, yeah. So that's, yeah, this, this Kay ain't got no gleep-glop in there. So she just gets munched up there and rain walks in. She's got some, like, ice gun at this point

and sees that and it's just like, that's a shame. Just what I wanted. Just what I wanted to say it. Oh, damn it. No, I wanted this end with an exclamation point and not a period. That's what I wanted. She gets herself into a space suit right here,

everything is like depressurizing and she's freezing and whatever and she then dumps there's uh this was a pretty cool moment like the egg that it hatched from there's still some like acid blood in the half that's still you know turned right side up or whatever and she kicks it over and spills the acid out in the hole and makes the hole in the hole of the ship pretty neat and again because i was like told you because the last lever conveniently won't go she's strapped to the ship up through the so yes it It then takes the whole cargo bay out. It all falls down and she's like hanging in space, which is pretty soon. Jurassic Park 2 when the trailer goes through.

Oh, right. Moments after the shift in it. Yeah, yeah. And you do see like some great shots because this, this, the size difference is amazing between her and this other guy who thinks it's like 5'9. Yeah. She's not reaching his decap, man. This guy's average height. That's the thing they're not telling you.

You know, look at that monster. What? it. He's decompressing. He's like eight feet tall to do this. It is weird next to her. And I know like this, maybe the C.G. isn't great, but I thought the decompression was a lot more fun in resurrection than here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because this is like his face is just sort of falling off. Yeah. I love obviously the, the little crack of the window and get sucked out. Well, because like, I mean, like not to get on it again, but like eyes, real human

eyes on that thing. And like actually allows you to connect with it for a moment. Yeah. Rather than Just like, oh, a monstrosity. I hope it dies. It did. So it dies. It gets good dead. The guy's name is Robert Bobroski. Credited as offspring.

Nice. So come out and play indeed, Robert. The same, isn't it a basketball player who beats up John Wick at the beginning of three? It's a different guy. This guy, this is the only movie he's been in. He's a Romanian, actually. Oh, nice. Yeah.

I like that. He should have been in Nospharata. He should have been. Uh, we get, I love her. Die, motherfucker. That's really good. That's a new one. Hey, how about that?

How about a new one? Easy peasy. How about an original line of dialogue? Wouldn't you even believe it? Mm-hmm. Doesn't hurt nobody. So the alien's dead. She kind of gets back up.

We're, we're going to cry oh sleep to you Vaga. I, but Andy's been like hit by this thing and like, yeah, he's nearly dead. She's like, I'll find a way to fix you. Right. Yes. Oh, that's right. He's like completely. Yeah.

Deactivated on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she, I mean, like, after the. first time. How many times I'm going to take you to really like actually finally go cryosly? Because it's like, it's kind of like leaving the house

when you lost your keys once. You're like I have my headphones. Totally. I got there. Is there enough gas in this fucking thing? I'm pacing around for like six months basically. Looking for any of them Zeno's left on the ship here. Oh, I'm not, A, I'm not getting into the cry of course. That's for sure. I am looking to make sure I have enough gravy

and potato mix. to survive for nine years. If I can make that work, I'm good. You would be the weirdest, but most well-read and well-wrotched person on Yvaga. They might make you the mayor. Who knows? Yeah, exactly. You can Netflix on that thing, I'm sure.

You were fucking alive through the whole nine-year voyage. You're the president of Yuvaga now, sir, right this way. What did you do? Well, I caught up a Doctor Who. All of it. All of it. Like even the 70s. The weird shit that's impossible to find.

Yeah, the missing episodes I somehow found. The radio dramas. all of it. I used AI to recreate them. And you know what? It's alright. Very good. But yeah, she gets a nice recording here, very alien franchise. Yes.

You know, this is Rain, last survivor of the Corvalon, signing off. And you get the great title card at the end that comes out, and the claxon is going. Pretty sweet, man. Good way to end a troubled film. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts. Mr. Siska. Yes, it is

a light recommend. There's There's stuff I really do enjoy about this movie. I feel like I've updated on Letterbox. I mentioned in my review. It's like, this is kind of a 2.75 for me now. Nice. There are elements that I do really enjoy of this movie,

but I just can't get over the weird misplaced fan service type of moments. And then just bringing back the resurrection. And then it's just, it's a bridge too far for me. Yeah, that's fair. Chris Cabin. No, don't watch this movie.

Uh, the, my problem with this movie is that I do think it is just, it's so obvious that it's cribbing from past iterations of this. And that has not, that's not true of covenant. That's not true of even the AVPs. Like, those all feel like they are their own thing. And it was just totally like, we're making a version of this movie and we're going to do it our way. Right. This one, it was like, can we just, I don't want to think about this too much. Can we just get a bunch of ideas that were like left on the floor and cobble them together. And maybe it'll make a serviceable thing. it seems like for most people it did I just I couldn't get on board not left on the floor left on the fucking scream also that and yeah like all that disappointed me the ending really disappointed me that they couldn't

figure out something better than just like what we did before and it really bugs me I guess my bigger issue the cherry on top for me is that like I was I cannot wait if it ever gets made I cannot wait for the sequel to covenant

I am dying to see what's going on in that world. I doubt we'll ever see it. I do not give a fuck about this world. Like, do we have a RID update? Like, what is he doing right now? He's probably making four movies. Yeah, because Gladiator 2 just came out, so he's probably like, ah, money. So I

don't know if this is ever going to happen again. I would like it to. I don't think it's going to happen. But that, that was just the thing that at the end of day, I was like, fuck this. I can't deal with it. Fair. Stephen. No, I mean, I think Covenant is obvious, and you heard my ranking, Covenant is a much better movie than this.

a lot of these are much better movies I like this movie I do I don't love this movie I do not forgive its sins but I like this movie I think that sins are pretty serious see the last hour and a half but I also I think Kaylee Spenny is really

really great David Johnson's really great I think Fettie Alvarez direct really good action and 10 scenes and I actually want him to make another one of these movies with a better script and with somebody saying don't do that you know just have the don't do that guy show up. Can we be the don't do that guy

for Hollywood, please? I don't think they hire those guys anymore. I think they're gone. No, seriously, just, you know, we'll sign NDAs, we'll read your script, we'll give you know. People are going to be fucking making fun of this on a podcast. We talk for a living, but we, there's plenty we don't talk about.

See, I like this movie, it's a recommend. I'm not even to go light or dark, it's a recommend, but it's a warts at all recommend and you've heard the warts. Yeah, I, you know, I don't know. It's a light recommend. I think there's enough And I think at this point, if you haven't seen the movie, but you, you are now well prepared

that there is an Ian Holm, deep fake in it, I guess. So maybe you'll be better prepared than I was in the theater. It's just, it's tough. And all the additional fan service, the stealing story points from fucking resurrection of all movies. My God in heaven. Like, were you that desperate? It just, it just seems like there was a,

maybe a couple more passes on that script, and then you make that movie. Sure. But whatever. But that is going to do it for, conversation on Alien Romulus. If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies, where if you were a member on the $8 level

up, you could have heard this or maybe you did ad free. Every Tuesday at the $8 and $10 levels, ad free weA movies, zero commercials on there for your listening enjoyment. Last week, we also released the A.D. for this month. Yeah, that's a Batman Cape Crusader with a

Hamish Link Ladder playing Batman. Just mail that sentence to 2004. You're like, what? Excuse me? The guy from girls is doing what? The guy from the future is doing what? And we also have a full episode, full-length episode on Furiosa.

Furiosa. I was a Fury Roads. Well, actually, we have full episode on Fury Road, but we also now have a new one. There's a new one. Furiosa, a Mad Max saga, full episode up on Patreon this month. That's right. And this week, if you were listening to this alien Rom in this episode, on the day it comes out, We got two other Patreon shows dropping for you.

This Thursday, we're doing a Gleap Glossary on whose personal assistant? Princess Leia's personal assistant. Winter. Winter, yes. We would discuss that old, no longer canon character in great detail. It's a lot of fun. Great Gleap Glossary entry, I'll say. A lot of fun to do.

And then this Friday, the 24th, you'll be getting this month's Melro 210, of course. Our journey through Fox Prime Time soap operas, always a blast. big fan favorite show you know there's crazy people on both sides of that program so uh you know we're getting into those episodes which is a lot of fun uh and then of course next tuesday we got one more of these uh movies we saw last year that we're talking about this year steve sadeck what's on the docket to wrap up january bad boys ride or die hell yeah i choose died i've actually never seen this one yet now here so i've lost any and all goodwill towards the bad boys franchise. I apologize.

That's fine. And I used to love it as a kid. I really did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say this, though. I will be the Steve of next week's episode because folks at home, hold on to your monocles. This is my second favorite bad boy. Over Michael Bayes

Part 2. I understand it. I had a lot of fun with it. I think it's from the disaster that was 3, there's zero paranormal activity in this movie. It's a little bit of a back-to-basics thing. It is my second favorite as well. Martin Lawrence becomes Jeff Gold or Jeff Bridges in that fearless movie Okay

He kind of has that going on There's some interesting stuff there man And yes indeed Joe Panteliano does make a Jamie Kennedy As if you're watching this tape So they managed to get Joey pants in the movie He's back Speaker ride or die our European listeners Come see us at the Oxford Comedy Festival this July

We are doing a six show residency In Oxford England United Kingdom Just head over to WHM Podcast dot com click on that tour page tickets for the residency is there and also tickets for our upcoming ghostbusters frozen empire worldwide digital event just next week i think just next week that's right the 30th it has happened and so a week from this thursday we'll be live on the internet talking about that duke tastrophe that contains what i think might be kind of the best dan acroyd performance in a while but we'll get into it live on the air there again all that ticketing information over at w hm

podcast dot com but that's going to do it for this week until next week where we are riding or dying with our bad boys. I've been Andrew Juppen. Steve and say to Eric, Cisco. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Thank you.