We Hate Movies - S15 Ep781: Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

“Marcus is now full-on Homer Simpson!” - Eric, on Marcus being lured by candy On this week’s episode, we conclude our month of talking about movies from last year with a chat around the latest in the seemingly never-ending buddy cop franchise, Bad Boys: Ride or Die! How hilarious is this Joey Pants Scream 3 video? Wasn’t it the smart move to bring some more comedy back into these movies? We’re looking at you, part three! And how rad is all this Ambulance-esque drone cinematography? PLUS: A decent amount of time is devoted to, you guessed it, discussing hot dogs!  Bad Boys: Ride or Die stars Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Paola Nuñez, Eric Dane, Ioan Gruffudd, Jacob Scipio, Melanie Liburd, Tasha Smith, Rhea Seehorn, Tiffany Haddish, John Salley, and Joe Pantoliano as Captain Howard; directed by Adil & Bilall. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM today. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! Don’t forget to snag your tickets to our first worldwide digital event of the year when we talk about Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire live THIS THURSDAY, January 30 at 9pm/et! Be sure you bundle in your After Party Q&A ticket as well— those After Party tickets are FREE for Patreon subscribers at the $8 level and up, btw. Can’t make it live? No problemo! The replay will be available for 14 days after broadcast! Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, stock up on your Skittles, Pepsi, and Doritos, because we're talking about bad boys ride or die. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric, Siska, Chrissy Shirts. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the Fime program, as always. If you're finding us for the first time because you're a bad boys fanatic, we're a comedy show that takes a movie good, bad, or otherwise, and kicks it around for a little bit.

And yes, this week, concluding the month of movies we saw last year, Bad Boys Ride or Die, directed by Adelaal. Yes, this one, they got one out of the world. Congratulations, guys. I was shocked, you know, last year? Was it last year where there's another bad boy that was happening? Was it last year? What?

Oh, no, there's 2020. Was it 2020? Yeah, 2020 was Bad Boys 3, Bad Boys 4 life. Right, okay. So I thought that was last year. Even though it's the third. film. I don't know what they're doing. The third movie, I thought was one of the

worst things I've ever seen. Yes. It's terrible. This one, much better. Second best Bad Boys movie. I'm not there. I agree that. You think that Bad Boys 3 is better than this movie? Oh, no, that movie's terrible. Oh, okay. This is better. Sure. Sure, yeah. Well, then I don't care. I thought you were saying that you thought this

was worse than the third one and I was like, dude, there's no witch in this one. Well, it's like, would you have to get the stomach or a punch of the balls? I'd rather get in the stomach, but I'd also rather just watch bad boys one instead. I agree with you, Steve. Yeah, no, I mean, this has more of the motions of a movie, a movie I would want to watch, but theoretically, it's not exactly all there, but I understand why people enjoy it. Yeah, I think it's, it just, it got better. Like, that's after a disaster like for life, I just, I was like, oh, this is over.

Like, I wasn't, I mean, I've come around to two, I think two is my favorite now of the bun. The first one is just, we've talked about in the episode. I find the first one a little too boring. And the second one is disgusting and deplorable and all that, but it's entertaining. Yeah, sure. And I have a similar feeling to this one where I'm like, my God, this is the stupidest, like, most nonsensical shit I have ever seen. Sure. But it's being sold to me well.

I think it's being sold to me very well. Yeah. Yeah, the package of, you know, action, dumb assery is in a nice little box. Never before has my sequel legislation been more needed than the Bad Boys franchise. It's craziness. This whole week, I've been looking up the runtime for Bad Boys for Life. And I keep looking at it because I'm like, oh, what am I doing this week? Oh, Bad Boys for Life?

Doing Bad Boys for Life. They put the year right there, Steve. I know right there. That's what we need to start. Now, if you're going to talk about movies, and this goes for myself too, everyone, you've got to say the year of these movies as the title. Because then I would have remembered Bad Boys for Life. which was the last one right yes yeah the one the third one yeah the last one is the one we're talking about but if we said bad boys for life 2020 i would have made that faux earlier oh you

would be great if they did this was this one was called bad boys 3d it would have fucked up everybody like a couple shots where i'm like they're doing that 3d like yeah it's not 3d but kind of looks like something's coming after that that's like saw stuff that it's like part 7 is 3D or whatever. I could have used a mech suit, maybe spider, that kid. Jelly beans just flying at you during the shootout. Also, John Sally's Braids, RIP. Oh, yeah, absolutely, which is an awesome moment. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I saw this in the theater. I went, I saw it in IMAX,

and I didn't want to, like, scream at the end of it. Like, I truly think that that third movie is really bad. Did you stay for the stinger in the theater? No, I didn't. I just experienced that for the first. time about 40 minutes. I would have never thought to stay for the Stinger. I just left the credits running when I did other shit in the house. Yeah, no, this movie Stinger is a mad TV sketch. Absolutely. It's very, I didn't even say it's I did stay for the stinger. Well, we'll explain it to you at the end. Thank you. Thank you so much. You are so welcome. This is a movie show

where we explained things. Here's something that I think is a bit of a bummer. So back on the Madam Webb episode, I didn't mention it, but Madam Webb is the first movie that was put out that has that the Sony 100 years of excellent thing. Man, I wish they could have just waited for Bad Boys. Bad Boys is a Sony franchise, blah, blah, blah. And just to have it flushed away on Madam Webb is unfortunate. But it does have it

here, and I think it's pretty cool. The little flipbook here's the Columbia Pictures Lady through the years. It's pretty sweet. It would be funny if they did that with Bad Boys. It's just them shooting a bunch of people. Just every person they've killed. But while I'm watching them, I'm like, that's a seven, that's a six. Oh, she's at eight there. Oh, now she's a nine.

You're raiding her? Oh, absolutely. the years. I'm a world-class misogynist. That's crazy, Steve. I do that same exact thing with the MGM lion. I'd put that lie. To your point, Steve, when the flip-book thing started happening, I was just going to hike up her skirt. What's going on? Oh, that's a little flip, a little dirty flip. It's like something a cowboy would entertain himself with. Hey, it's done here, pornography. You guys want to play cards or jerk off. Let's go all down to the porn hub, which is a hub where there's pornography. You know, I'd love to poke her if you know what. what I mean.

Porn Goltz. Oh, porn gulch. Everybody goes to die. I threw him down porn gulch. Well, speaking of porn gulch, let me play here real quick. No. Now porn gulch starts.

Last week we did this. We did. We had a little bit of catching up to do the holidays. You know, I got too drunk, of course. As kings are our art. Yes, of course. It had to do. Some people were,

Where has the trailer game Have been? Where has it been? Yes. I mean, you guys start listening to On Screen Live because we did one there. People are forgetting about that. As you know, you know, same old rules. At this point, Eric is up.

Eric is number one, baby. Stephen is number two, baby. Andrew is number three, baby. Down, down, down. Yes, that means I'm piss. He's shit. Yeah, three. And I'm champagne. There you go. And I, of course, took this from the bad

Boys, right or die, VHS. Oh, yes. That it costs $4,000. Wow. I know, of course. I took from Bad Boys, the actual tape of Bad Boys and Bad Boys too, although I found the Bad Boys ones more worse. So that's 95 and 2002?

2003. Oh, was it three? Okay. Just trying to get my head together here. But it's, it's, I think these are mostly 90. Okay. Oh, right. The mid-90s area.

Jupin, get ready to. There are going to be four of these fellas. All right. Get ready to win it all, Eric. And there is, again, going to be a bonus question. Ooh, I love those. And so just, you know, keep your minds open a little bit. So let's go for number one.

Everybody ready? Yes. Okay. An adaptation of a children's book, this ostensible kids movie produced one unofficial sequel, a decade after its release, and two official sequels released 12 and 14 years after that. Whoa. hatchy machi so those kids done grown up

it didn't be it's not no that would uh oh man i did raise my hand andrew spy kids it's not a bad guess no no that's a good one just read the crew one more time and I'll an adaptation of a children's book this ostensible kids movie produced

one unofficial sequel a decade after its release and two official sequels released 12 and 14 years after that. I'm good kicking it down to the next clue. I turn my key on that one. In their career, the legendary star of this film book-ended this film with films that have been covered

on WHM, both of which are comedies about settling down. I'm settling there. in the in the class this is uh this is a this is a brain a brain to say anything about the plot would essentially give it uh-huh so there's there's a movie there's an unofficial sequel whatever that means

never say never again i'll explain and then two actual sequels that happened many moons later many moons after the unofficial sequel or many moons after the first movie Both, but the 12 and 14 are after the second one. God, it's killing it. I got nothing. I think we've got to kick it down another notch.

Number three, the romantic interest in this film is played by Bonnie Hunt. Bonnie Hunt. Who's that? Who's that lady? Bonnie Hunt. What the hell is this? Son of a bitch bastard. Chris Cabin gets me again.

Oh, wow. I'm just sitting here with the answer. So it's a children's movie And they made many, many sequels Here's the thing, you dudes don't know that it was a book Okay, got it. I guess I thought that Bonnie Hunt It wasn't a well-known one?

I don't think so. Me, Wickey said it was it. I didn't get it to Bonnie Hunt. Is it baby geniuses? It is not. Wow, okay, I'll say just say James of the Giant Peach. It is not. Oh, my God, yes.

Get no points? Jumongi. Yes, there you go. That's a book. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what's the unofficial sequel to Jemarra? Yes. Oh, wow. Yes.

Is that right? Yes, yeah. Robin Williams is in that movie? No, it's just, but it's like there's a spaceship or something. And that's from Jumanji. It's in the same world. Can you do the producers like did a whole, do the negative buzz noise right here. I don't agree with that.

The producers literally like said like, from the world of Jumanji. It's in like the same. John Favro, the director of the film was like, Wait, wait, no, no, no. I don't want that to be it. Hold the fort. Now, there was a, I knew Jumanji was a rock movie later on. Yeah.

It was another one? There's two of those rock movies. There's a third one to come. Yeah, of course. It made money. Oh, my God. I'm too old. I don't know what's going on anymore.

Bad Boys for Life was last year. Oh, put me to bed. All right, here comes. Here comes. Here comes. Okay. Are you, oh, you're, well, I'm ready. There's an invisible nothing there.

Oh, I thought you were just. about to shoot. Yeah, I was, I wasn't sure there. This action comedy re-teamed a pair of beloved 90 stars who had starred together in a beloved sports comedy only three years before this film was released. That movie is

money train. That is indeed. Wow, very good. That is money train. Hell yeah. And white men can't jump great movie. Oh, yeah. Money trained, not a good movie. No. No, Kubrick was right, though. Well, white men can jump this. But money plane, on the other hand. Also terrible.

money playing i still i still have not seen money play i wish we could i mean if we got to do it i would like listen it's so stupid 10 years we'll be covering money we'll be good to go uh this one is also not going to be uh easy for anyway i'm sorry good um okay this beloved concert doc features uh mostly footage from the concert that was under black and white interviews not done that was top blind by an artist who would be dead within two years of its release. Dead doc. They're advertising a concert doc on bad boys VHS.

Yeah. Interesting. Somebody's dead within two years. I could probably even guess some celebrities, but I can't know if I could guess the movie title. The interviews are in black and white, you say? No, the concert's in black and white and the interviews are not.

Not all of us. Most of them are in black white. So if you watch your trailer, you would think the things in black and white. Would be dead in two years of the release. Within two years. I would have guessed Madonna's truth or dare if it wasn't. Well, Madonna's not. That's why I'm saying that. That's a wishful thinking for Stephen. Let's let's putt, I think. Right. Please, please punt. The concert at the center of the film took place in Philadelphia and is, it is interspersed with artists performing. at the concert. So there's multiple artists. So one guy died out of multiple acts.

The topliner died. Yeah. The headliner died. The deadliner died. Okay. Oh, man, this is killing me. This is, uh, I know, listen, I know you're yelling in your car right now and that's very good for you.

Yeah, I got nothing. Punta. Punted. Okay. The film is produced and narrated by legendary producer. and complete monster, Russell Simmons. Russell Simmons. Oh, okay.

No, so I now know, I feel like an idea of the artist, but I don't think I'm quite familiar with this film. Yeah. Nothing. Yeah. The lineup of the concert is primarily made up of hip-hop and rap artists. Are we talking Dave Chappelle's block party? No, damn it.

That was me. Do you got another clue? Yeah. One more clue. Let's go. Go down. The movie's title is another word for concert. Okay.

All right. Now, that's a brain teaser. Okay. Oh, man. I'm going to put a synonym game and guess. The show. There you go. Hey.

One point. Wow. Good job, Stephen. I've never even heard of it. I actually never heard of this either. Mentorius B-I-G. That's who I was thinking of the artist but I couldn't think of what the movie would have been.

I've heard of that. I've seen this trip so many times because I watched the original bad boys. Yeah, I buy that. I was on there all. I literally have never heard. I did not know that there was a notorious B.S. Oh, yeah.

I have no fucking clue. Wow. All right. This is the last one, fellas. Oh, boy, I hope it's another brain teaser. Okay. Number four. Number four.

This sequel to a famous indie action film was the second in a trilogy of films, none of which share a word. Eric? Hot Fuzz? Ooh, that's a good one. Because I was thinking maybe Bad Boys too, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Say that again one more time. This sequel to a famous indie action film was the second in a trilogy of films, none of which titles share a word. Indy action film. Puntown population me. Yeah, that's right. The love is.

interest in this film with later star as one of Jack Donaggy's long-term girlfriends. Ooh, yes. Desperado. That is indeed. Oh, wow. Thank God we just did that 30 rock rewatch. I was like, Salma, baby, here we go. I was just like, Isabelle Rossellini

in. Okay, absolutely desperado. I need all that cocaine. And you're not getting out of here alive. Oh, Jack, you know I love my blow. Okay, so, and bonus question. Okay. This is five points if anybody can do it.

You need to get more than, you have to get one at least to get the points, but whoever has the most wins. Okay. Name artists on the soundtrack to bad boys. Oh, wow. Christ almighty. now is this a lightning round thing or can we just like shout shit out if you if you're wrong on one are you out of the yeah yeah yeah the proceedings okay a song on the bad boys sound

I don't even I don't even know who sings the bad boys because I don't know so I'm buzzing in do people know I'm pale and blonde yeah is the Tony Tony Tony Tony song on the soundtrack uh no it is fuck how do you do that bad boy soundtrack No, it's not Tony, Tony, Tony, it's another band. I thought Tony, Tony, Tony did that song. No, it's a different band that did the Cops theme song. Oh, man, I thought it was. Now I'm going to look it up because I'm out.

Because it's like, but I'll never know the name of that band. I am just going to guess based upon where we were. Sure. Belbiv DeVoe. Nope. Speaking of my beautiful point, let's go down another level. No, we can't do that, right? Yeah, no, I'll just pass.

I won't embarrass myself. The big names, I will tell you, were Warren G. Tupac. Okay. I think you were thinking of I-N-I-Kamozy. No. Isn't that the one that says bad boys, bad boys? But I thought Tony, Tony, Tony,

he sang that song. They did not. I am aware. But you're saying I was thinking of that person, I was not. Oh, okay. This is a tough game. This is a tough racket you're running here. And The F-Notorious B-I-G is a feature on the-

I should just guess. Tupac. I don't know why I said Bill Biv DeVoe. I just wanted to say Belbiv DeVo. It's a nice thing to say. The only reason I gave, I thought you might get it is because KMFDM has a very well-played song in Bad Boy. Well, the last time I saw Bad Boys was for the show, which was apparently many moons ago. Was it? I got, I feel so reasonable. But anyway, that was the game. We'll have tally. Oh, inner circle. That's it. We start with Miami. We start with, we're doing the fucking Dexter protocol of this is.

is B-roll as far as the I can see, and then not filming in Miami. And also this... Because it's Atlanta, they filmed a lot of this in, is that right? Yeah. The problem with having a trailer that is the opening seat of your movie, I felt like I've seen this a thousand times. I was so bored of this thing the second it started.

You can't do these. See, that's the thing. These long trailers where it's like mostly just the scene. Yes. And you're not mixing it up more. Exactly. At the start of it, I hate that trailer for it. Because, yeah, I've seen this.

I've seen him licking his lips like a cartoon cat over the hot dog. In this one, they are literally doing what they do in the first one where, like, you see the plane going over the Hollywood sign. Yes, yeah. And then it's them on the road and he's eating a shitty burger that he's getting all over Will Smith's car. This time, he does not have a shitty burger, but he wants to get a shitty hot dog. The world's shittiest hot dog.

Oh, my God. It was a caked in salt. Yes. I don't remember bad boys for life that much But was Marcus Doming him quite so much Or it was That's always been their thing

That's their relationship all the time He is like doming him hard at this Because I think now it's a thing where it's like We're getting so old It's your hell You know dude You gotta I'm gonna start yelling at you In like another six fucking months dude

So get ready for my doming If that's what you want to call it But the thing is like What happens in this movie And I was really This is part of why I think this is so much better than the last one other i mean anything could be better than last one uh but the thing it's like marcus has something of his own in this one like yeah he he he seems to break out of that cycle of abuse

i don't know what you call it oh no it's a partnership i guess so but yeah they they've been pretty it's been like this since the first right but marcus is now full homer simpson where it's just like ooh a candy bar yes if he was more of like religious like spiritual if if if if if Somers Simpson was spiritual. Oh, everyone's an idiot but me. I'm here. I'm in my robe on Sunday morning. Roasting in my house. Marge, turn down the thermostat.

I am my own god. Oh, you just mean you're a Protestant. Okay. Well, yes, we are racing to a wedding of some type. We don't know, but we're in tuxedos here and we're racing down and, you know, to stop off, your shitty driving is giving me car sickness. I need a ginger ale. I'd be puking at Will Smith's truck, too. It's like, we can't be late. but you've already made us late and he's sick.

Yes. Apparently, yes. And this will lead to, I guess, his big old sickness at the party. Sure. Well, yeah, it might be a little symptom there due to some nausea, you know, and whatnot. But we go into this convenience store and Will Smith says you got 80 seconds to get in there and get your jingy and get your ass back out. There's an ad at the bottom of my porn site that has told me that Skittles stop heart attacks. Is that right?

Maybe he saw the same thing I did. Oh, I'm going to start micro-dosing. You should. I think it does help a little bit. We're going to taste the rainbow. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think you're going to need that if you ever, you ever see that thing that's like, take this if you want your cum to be fuller.

I'm like, what Lord knows what that's going to do to you? I have so many, full of what? Exactly. Wait, wait, wait, hold a second. If you want to shoot like the big boys. Where, there's a thing that makes your cum. There is a product called Seamex. How the hell do I not know about this?

Then if you want to fucking stick a chick to the wall, like scary movies. Yeah, yeah. You can take this dubious Colombian pill. Is that right? Okay, so it's not regulated. Which will not give you a heart attack, I'm sure. No. What does RFK Jr. think about it?

Is he, did he give it this? Stip. I'll make your fucking dishard. It'll be good. We'll go to us. We're going to grind it off and put it into water supplies. Everybody can have a little bit. I'll be a thicker.

Come loads of everybody. I have not heard about this at all, but now I'm like, when's my next day off of work? You should see my come is so full. It's a full of when I get out there. Why don't you report on that, Olivia Nunes? If you're with somebody, man, woman, or whomever, you shoot your stuff like, oh, nice job, dribbles.

Like, what, who cares about the shot? It looks like somebody barely turned the faucet. I was going to say, I mean, you call someone, you call a man dribbles. He might have a heart attack right on the spot. That might just do it. Unless you're, like, literally in the biz. But listen, you want to have the shot hurt around the world.

Look, maybe it's cosplay, dude. And you're like, I'm an elephant. You're Rip-Torn and like furry stuff, too, yeah. It can't be a weak load. No, if I'm the elephant, it can't be a week load. Do you know, are they known for their hot, heavy loads? Well, I just know from Freddie got fingered where Riptorn gets covered in elephant. They had a hell of a researcher on that.

Oh, my God. They had a really good guy. I got to say, I did, I levitated a little bit off the ground when I saw this. Simpson, Brookheimer. Yes. The thunders shotgun. Absolutely.

That'll take you right back. A little cocaine to start the movie. And he, so he's going in there, he's got the, he gets a ginger ale, but he gets distracted. He wants to get Skittles. He doesn't just like eat Skittles. He eats the Skittles packet. Like he bites into it like a cheeseburger.

I didn't keep an eye on the production companies with Skittles pictures involved. It might have been. Skittles is all over this fucking movie. That Coca-Cola, we talk about a lot. It's our favorite soda. Bud Light. Bud Light's the best one because Armando is wearing a Bud Light t-shirt and just chugs an ice called Bud Light in one scene. Of course.

Oh, delicious. Actually, I'm a Foster's man, but this is all I have. And I guess it's funnier this way, but man, dude, a guest, a bodega hot dog. And these do not look like good looking bandagas. Well, he said as, is with Fras. Yeah. And it's a yesterday. Oh, man.

Yesterday's hot dogs. my autobiography title and the grossest thing you can eat. I think that's probably pretty good for a 7-Elevener gas station. At best case scenario, it went in there yesterday. I think that this is with the regal hot dog that I had when I watched September 5th. What? That's a...

Dude, you're buying hot dogs to watch September. That was... You watched that like last week? Yes, exactly. That's perfectly sane food, dude. I mean, this is bad. I mean, when we worked at the multiplex, we had the roller.

Yeah. But they'd yet to introduce hot dogs to our concessions and we had tequitos. That was the only thing we did. That's at least it's got its own crunch around. It's got its own container. You'll never know if this is the crunch you're supposed to be tasting or the, you know, it's rotten crunch. It's not slathered and fried in grease the way. Like this one, there is stuff on it.

And it's red house paint. It's like bacon wrapped a hot dog or something. It was disgusting. He's really excited about it. I love him. He goes to this dude. He's like, put some. some relish on that, put some mustard

on that motherfucker, and he's like, just licking his lips, looking at this hot talk. It's funny, man. He's making me laugh in this movie. I mean, he is really, I will say, he carries this fucking thing. This is the best of what Lawrence has been in these movies, I think this is the first one. Yeah, I agree. He's really doing it. Which is sort of

something. Some gang member comes in. This tatted meth head white kid here. Yeah, he wants to rob the store. We get to do a humorous thing, and it's like, listen, I'm in an abusive dom-sub relationship. If I'm not in daddy's car

in 13 seconds, we're all gonna get spay. He's looking at the fucking clock. And this is the first of many times this movie does like a reverse nickel boys or something, like these POV shots of the gun. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're in it. It's like hardcore Henry.

We're doing it. Yes, thank you. It really does feel like hardcore Henry. And it was taking me out of the movie. Call a duty dog shit. Well, yeah, that's the more, it's supposed to be video gamey. Oh, that's a video game.

yes yeah uh but harry or henry any first person shooter thing but yeah so we're seeing that and then like you know mike comes in i told you and he's like put the hot dog down it is the greatest like not taking this robbers seriously i just love that he's like the complete afterthought like when will smith comes in and he's like oh no and he puts his hand like on his forehead yeah it's like nothing to do with you gunman this motherfucker's buying a hot dog i see some skittles on the counter there's very funny that they continue arguing around this scenario like who cares if it was a real dom sub relationship though i do i would i would be funny if like martin lawrence goes in there and then like the the guy at the counter is like hey come here he just has a glass of milk that he slides

harris dickinson sent this for you the dude is definitely like uh like calling him out on he's like no will smith that's not the way this happened your friend's line view about the hot dog situation. No, he wanted it. Yeah, exactly. He got the Skittles immediately. Yeah. So Will Smith shoots the student like Martin Lawrence grabs his gun puts it on the counter. They got to go. Skittles literally fly at the camera like it's a 3D. 3D and post

thing. Call 911. Aren't you the police? Yes, it is pretty funny funny. But I got a wedding to get to. And what I had to keep doing for this movie because again, I didn't remember the last movie and I feel like it's going to be the same thing for this. Oh yeah, I forgot this movie already. Exactly. Is

like, was she in the last movie? The wife is not in the last movie. Is that right? No. What the fuck are we doing? What the fuck are we doing? Remembering the third movie, I guess, because in that one, Rita from this movie, he's dating Rita. What the hell happened there?

They broke up. And who's this lady? This is Christine. This physical therapist. Not talking like this because you're going to start a TV show that I don't want, nobody wants to say. This is explaining this. I don't want that. She exists just to be taken hostage at the end of the movie.

I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, this one's hilarious to me because when we cut to the wedding, because they get the guy, the boy is arrested and they get out of there, they have their ginger rail, and they cut to the wedding. And in any other movie, what would be happening? Of course, the groom would be like, you saved my life. I can't believe.

But because it's Will Smith, of course, the wife has to be like, you are the most beautiful, perfect man that's ever existed in his world. We have done so much together. I love you so much and he doesn't say a fucking word. It's a weird edit because he clearly has said vows

first. He wouldn't just not say vows. That's not a thing. No, no. It's just a bad edit. It's just such a weird thing to be like no, what matters in this situation is how good the groom is. Isn't he beautiful? I

can't think of anything about this wedding other than the enormous photograph of Joe Pentley on. Oh, dude, that thing has a seat at its own table. It's getting a dinner ticket. My question is, is there one, because they're getting married outside. It's like, oh, I'm now pronouncing a man and wife. Pull out to this hilarious 12 by 12 of fucking Joey pants.

Yeah. And then later, it's there in the reception area. Are we moving it around? You know for a fact, there is someone in that bridal party that is responsible for lugging this framed photo around. Absolutely. Oh, this is all been planned. What I wanted, though, and it didn't happen. but man would it have been funny is like

you see a wide shot and they don't have this. Will Smith and Christine Mike and Christine don't have this in their wedding but if they had a big wedding party and it's like Will Smith obviously the best man Martin Lawrence maybe Will Smith's got a cousin in town framed photo of Joe Panteliano

but they taped a fucking tuxedo over the other dude from the forest is the fourth guy down the line. I just like it's your boss it's fine I mean like it's very He said that your boss died now three to four years ago. I think we could move on a little bit. I've had a boss die and I've moved on.

I'm not like, she was very nice. I really liked her a lot. The best boss I had, but I'm not putting a picture up. Was she a substitute mother for you though? No. Okay, so that's the problem. See, pants is the dad to these two fucking idiots. That's fair.

Well, I mean, I'm not going to sit here and play fucking only person with law enforcement in his family. But they are family. It's a different thing than you inviting your lifetime boss. Okay, all right. You're right. It's a gang, no different from the ones on the streets. Yes, that's exactly right. All these Skittles gangs out there. We're having fun.

Lifetime ride or die, by the way. We meet Joey Pants's daughter, uh, played by Ria Seahorn. Ray Seahorn. Ray Seahorn. Yes. This is, uh, Ray Seen's deleted Seahorn. Was she in any of the other movie? No, of course. That's what I had to do, too.

And it would be like, this movie asks a lot of you. It does. I think in terms of the mythology of the bad boys. Because it's adding so much while also like mixing in so much from the last movie that no one cared about. Well, yeah. That's true. We are moving in a lot of stuff from the last movie. And then we're also unmoving stuff from the last movie.

What the hell happened with Rita? How'd you let her get away? Well, I mean, there's that, that's again, I'm thankful we don't have the movie explaining how Rita got away. I just want a limited series explaining it between that movie and this one. Just eight episodes. It's called Lowry. Yeah. Oh, Lowry, yes.

No, actually, a dramatic work with just Will Smith. No, and I'll tell you, because one of the things I feel, I mean, the script of that third movie is just a mess. One of the things that really sinks it is it writes Mike Lowry. It is the, it is the Mike Lowry show in a way that the other movies are not. It's like so much, it's so much him and the father and all this stuff. And that's why, I think one of the. reasons this worked so well for me is that is a total backseat and

Lowry is a backseat to Marcus in this movie and Will Smith just kind of just gets to stand there I mean he gets to be cool Will Smith or whatever but his comedy is amped back up to where it's completely dead in that 30 he's so serious absolutely right he's not making any quips in that third movie he's

very funny responding to what Marcus is going through and in that movie he's just the God King you know what happened and that's he won his Oscar he no longer has to worry about that shit I think that was maybe even on his mind during that one. And then King Richard was what, the 20, 2021, I think. That was last year.

That's, that's, that's, no way. Got to get this kid a calendar. Production was suspended because they weren't sure how they were going to go through after the slap and blah, blah, blah. For this? For this, yeah. The slap happened during this? I think so.

Oh, I want, they were filming it. Can we get a documentary about this? I think that that's why maybe he's a little lighter as well, possibly. You know what it would be? I mean, whatever it is. It marks a return to form for Will Smith in this or any movie. It's like, I was like, oh, yeah, I feel like I'm watching a Will Smith movie again. That's pretty cool.

Was Vanessa Hudgens and Doorn invited to this wedding or are they not at the wedding? I didn't see him there, honestly. That's pretty fucked up, man. What's your ammo friend supported you in the last one? Sorry, we can't have our new partners. We have two slots for Joey Pantleana's picture. Yeah, no, exactly. We didn't think the frame was going to be as wide as it is.

That's definitely taken up two chairs at the table. We have an empty chair for his legacy. And it's, it's, that, that's where that is. I mean, also, well, it's one to an empty chair for Joey Pants's photo and one empty chair for, they didn't burn him up, it didn't burn up with the rest of his body, but Joey Pants his wig is also just on a chair. I really can't believe they just forced him into this movie. He might as well, he's like third build practically, right?

He gets all over this fucking movie. He gets the hammer and Joe Pantleiano. I love that for him. Dude, great fucking agent. Our personal friend, we should mention. Yeah, yeah, I love Joe. I think he did, I think there was cameo. They hired him to him through.

It's just videos of him at home. I mean, that's, you know what? Joe Pantliano, apparently, when bad boys calls, he puts the dogs in another room. Well, when we hate movies calls, the dogs are wherever they want to be. Scheduling roof work that day, I guess. Got it.

He really treated us like shit, and I appreciate that. I love that. Hey, Mike and Marcus, I'm sorry, sorry, the dogs are going nuts over here. But I'm letting you know, if you're heading this, I'm dead. Could you stop for a second? If you're hearing this, I'm dead, okay? No, Will.

No, no, Will. No, no, Will. Shelly's just going crazy. So how's your hand? I heard his face is hard as hell. I mean, the fuck of the thing about this to be is like in about, I don't know, five, ten minutes. We're going to find out that Seahorn, like, it has a thing against Will Smith.

And I'm like, wouldn't you not come to the thing? I would not go to the wedding house again. Yeah. Like, I'm like, that's a little weird. Who's going to carry the framed phone over dead. Well, sure. And, you know, open bar and such. Dude, the way she describes how she would kill his son.

Oh, yeah. It's like, I'm going to shoot him like an animal because that's what he is. I'm going to put him down. It's pretty awkward, dude. Yikes. And this is the first time we're seeing this character? I totally agree. Like, she has no weight because, A, her scenes are deleted in B.

She wasn't in any of the movies. Speaking of, here comes, he is like a, you're watching an episode of Colombo and here, oh, look, it's John Casavetes. It's like, there's the. villain. It's, uh, Yohd Gryphode at this wedding. I believe it's just Ian Griffith. Ian Griffith, I guess. One of those, like, beautiful Welsh names. Reed Richards. Reed Richards. Reed Richards. All those bitch are the O.G. Reed Richards.

Andy Griffith. Absolutely. And he's like, how about? I'm not evil. I'm here with your ex-girlfriend. And I might be mayor one day. Like, you're like, you're like, a little, like, gray fox thing going on. Is it good? You're dating, uh, the hero's ex-girlfriend. Nice suit running for mayor of Miami. That's right. This continues a trend from. beekeeper, this was the year of British guys playing American politicians. That's true. Oh, I think they've been doing that for a while.

They have been. And they should be stopped. This is on his own four now. It's a Fantastic Four movie. And this? Yeah. Can I say? Because he was a missing person for years, right? Can you name anything he's been in since Fantastic Four? It's a lot of British TV.

A lot of British TV. Oh, my God. He did a, um, when was it that he was in one of them there, King Arthur movies? That was a long time. It was like 2004. Way back, right? That was like, that was pre- Fantastic Four, huh? Oh, no, no, around the same time.

Around the same time. Yeah. Because that's the only with Clive Owen. Turn of the century, we're talking here. Yeah, I think you went with Merlin in that movie, if I'm not mistaken. He's someone with Clive Owen and Pyrnail. Yeah, real dreadful affair. Uh, it's, but it's just amazing, like, this guy's been gone.

I guarantee you, by the way, two minus two and a half years before this guy is in the multiverse as Reed Richards and everyone fucking pissing him. Oh. pisses their panties. How exciting will that be for everything? Because when Chris Evans is Johnny Storm in that movie, I was like, where is he? He's got to be around here somewhere.

They're not calling chickless. Those bastards. Chicky baby ain't going to put that shit back on. God damn it. But we so we meet him. Long story story. We meet everybody. And then here comes,

Martin Lawrence has a transparting heart attack, which is very sad. Dude, the Tommy boy heart attack. Falling fucking down, dropping of a heart attack. kind of wedding dance. Yes, but then he goes into a pool of water, which is now, now we're talking fucking Danny Boyle's. I'm just

laughing over here because the last time of a movie that I saw him in, he played Tony Blair and W. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. 2008, this guy's been on the lamb since then. So you guys, this big old heart attack, we try to save his life where... He has his

out of body experience. So, you know, he sort of floats above himself. He sees what's going on, and then he's transported to this beach at night. He sees Captain Howard. The place he drops into looks like the place where Black Widow dies. Yeah. I don't quite like.

They went big with this. It's where the cat people, cats are either in that, like that area. Like, I feel like when you, when you have a moment like this where you think you're going to die, you immediately remember a dead guy,

whether that's your father, your boss, whatever it is. And then you see that person in that few seconds your brain still is operable. Yeah. And then you're like, I just had a. in a wonderful experience of the afterlife.

No, no, no. It's like a dream. A dream can last. Exactly. It feels like it lasts for hours or days, but it's only 30. It's only dream for 30 seconds. Here, again, if I see, if I, the first thing I do when I die, I go to an area where I see my old boss, I'm like, did I go to hell? I must go to hell?

Is this actually? Oh, no. It is the other place. Wrong turning out for Kirkuk. Yeah. Now, if I saw some of my old bosses, I'd straight out be like, if this is not hell, send me to hell. So you just let anyone in here. What's she doing here?

You have to just start attacking them. Yes, exactly. You know, become the boss dog of the afterlife. Eric, we do not appreciate violence here in heaven. Shut up! Oh, dude. There's a big fucking parrot there because he was kind of a parrot head, I guess. Yes, he was a bird guy.

And he's like, hey, it's not your time. Right, which is the thing that like these people that recount having these experiences always, when they come back, they say, whoever that was. was that I saw her there and it's not my time. Baj, you can get the fucking dogs out of here, please. I'm talking to somebody. Yeah, no. Captain Howard, I think, was trying to tell me it wasn't my time. He was just yelling at dogs, though.

I don't know. He was singing about a cheeseburger in paradise. Oh, is he that kind of paradise? I would, I would hope. I mean, he's just a weird bird guy. He said, police chief in Florida. Yeah, I would think. Actually, there is a guy, the guy that flies the plane to the place at the end of the movie

looks exactly like Jimmy Buffet. He does. R.P. by the way. Oh, Felix, the drunk pilot. It's how he was, I think, labeled. Oh, credited is Felix the drunk. I love that. When was he drunk in the movie?

When did we get a name on this guy? I don't think you do. That's like script shit. I know. The script called him this, but he's never addressed in the movie. We're also doing this in that moment, like this, like, what do you call it, their tree of life shit where it's like, we're seeing through the ages, like, blah, blah, blah, which will come back because he wakes up.

he gets naked he runs Mike Lowry is there by the way Teresa Teresa Randall recast for this film Big mistake yeah fuck that So stupid so stupid Did they do that before? Did they do that? No she's in three She is a series oh yeah yeah no this was a new development I think I said at the time because I think when we

reviewed this on on screen live I was like I really hope she just has She had like a scheduling conflict or something and they were like oh Teresa ran a little old for Teresa these days You know what I mean? Some garbage Hollywood thing like that. Martin Lawrence is an old man, an older man. Because I would like to think that those, like the rest of the bad boys family would fight to have her in the movie. So like, I just hope it was a thing like that.

Especially if you have these grab-ass scenes where it's like, oh, it's my family who you know and love and Reggie and this and that. I'm like, I need Teresa there to ground me. Maybe the slap was like, I don't think. I don't want to be you next to this guy. Also possible. Couldn't you, could you imagine, though, if like all of a sudden we get the lethal weapon for. Yeah. And Darlene Love.

is just out of the picture and someone else is playing trash that would just that would rub me wrong right same thing here with teresa randals it's bullshit you can recast renner russo though i'm he is on the roof in his hospital gown he's now jeff bridges and fearless it has happened except what in that movie he survives a plane crash what is this movie fearless jeff bridges survives a plane crash and then he like becomes literally fearless one of the things becomes a crazy guy yeah yeah he's like he'd like he'd like starts, like, hanging out on, like, the tops of buildings. What year is this?

80s? 93, 94. I think it's an early 90s movie. Ding. That's a good movie, though. I would like to see. But we're up on this roof, and, you know, Mike Lowry follows him up there. And it's like, you know, no, Mike, you know, the captain told me it's not my time.

I'm not going to die. I'm, you know, I'm a new me now. Here I am. And I love this, Will Smith, like, you know, you're just waggling your dick out to the good citizens of Miami, Florida right now, right? You got your whole ass out. We all do, which is very true. You're showing your whole ass every day. True. True.

Yeah. But he says, I can't, the good thing is, Captain said it's up by time, so I can't die, which is... I can't die. And also, Will Smith, there's a storm coming. You're going to have to make a hard decision, and don't worry, you're good. The mythical shit. It's a lot. We can leave it.

I'm starting to think, like, and like how he's behaving here, which is very funny. Yes. Still starts to make me think of Homer Simpson, or Charlie Kelly from it's always sunny it's just like push to the brink with this I can't die thing Oh wow Well actually Homer does say like oh

But Vince was like actually no one made you weak as a kitten You know what I mean? That's more accurate Stop it But don't worry Yes This is a hippopotamus own Full heart attack

Full out of body death experience Yeah Don't worry he'll be running around shooting guns Like nothing ever happened in five minutes He's going like he's going to be I'm a vegetarian, no more fucking Doritos, no more skittles, but you can get into several shootouts in a span of 48 hours. I think it would be interesting if they leaned into his problem here a little bit.

Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, man, I can't do this or whatever. Instead, I just make it more Marcus than the panic attacks with Will Smith's character, Lowry. I can't stand those. I'm sorry. The panic attack should be like a physical ailment back to Marcus. Exactly. And then if you want to give Will Smith.

Smith stuff. He's married to someone we've never met. How many he talks to his fucking wife? Maybe he has dinner with her at some point. And then she's like, hey, he's like, hey, what do you think about anything? I don't have you guys seen a bad boy's movie? She's a prop in this movie. She's absolutely a prop.

Well, yeah, no, I mean, like, but there should be growth, you know, that we should try new things. Well, we're trying some new things. Or, like, I mean, if it was just him, Mike Lauer, he just fucking the world, like he always does, I wouldn't mind that. But this stupid, the panic attack is so old hat at this point And it's so like, it's just, it comes and goes when you want it to come and go

It is a very screenwritery screenwriter bothered And I will say the whole like, have you seen it Bad Boys movie? I've always, I've liked their dynamic together, but I don't, I mean, I think the first one's pretty good But I feel like we've never really gotten like a great great one I think the first one's great. I think the first one's like a cool movie and the rest aren't, you know what I mean? Like it's just, it's low five, it's just it's just it the idea of the movie is It's like, you know, hey, look, it's not Murtaugh and Riggs.

It's just two young, cool black dudes. Yeah. On the prowl fucking shit up. But now it just feels like Fast and the Furious. It's like, here have a Corona person I hardly know. Well, yeah, that is something I think very obvious is the Fast and Furious. We're having a barbecue at the age. You're chasing.

Yeah, a little bit. So we meet Eric Dane as Mr. McGrath. This is a guy, multiple men, by the... Multiple man himself. A doctor, whatever the fuck he was on Brace and... I don't know if he's... steamy or dreamy? He might have been on the train with me today and I wouldn't have noticed. I swear to

I have no fan. That's what is zero this actor is. I have facial blindness. I have no idea who this guy. Wow. Just hating Eric Dane. I'm kind of sorry. Who the fuck is that? We just listed multiple things he's in. Were you in the bathroom? I also have earblind. Jesus Christ. He's in one of them terrible. He's in the third X-Men movie. There's multiple man, which is terrible. He was for several years he was on Grey's Anatomy. That's his big thing. Okay, go on.

You're the biggest Grays Anatomy fan I know. I've never seen Grace Anatomy. Oh, don't do it for that. Stop. Stop hiding yourself. I would never hide something like that. I do like this moment. Him and I watched Hell on Wheels. For a second, I thought the number two guy here who, again, I kind of want more from, this big Hulk.

Lins. I thought he was the guy from This Is Us, the guy that lost all that weight. Oh, come on. You know, that comedian guy? Yeah, yeah. He's got the same kind of beard. Is that him? He's looking great.

Really? I thought it was subway Jared. That's what I thought. They sprung him from jail for this. I don't know. They spring his, Will Smith's rotten son from jail. That's true.

Oh, that's true. I certainly hope this guy's not listening to this episode. The two things you just said he looks like it's dead. No, no. I mean, he's a big muscular dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So there's some vague banker guy that they're interrupting having a little.

10 to 10 with a little lady here. A little lady friend. And it's like, hey, I need you to transfer all these millions of dollars into Captain Howard's account. And the guy, it's kind of great. The guy does like, well, you know, you can't transfer funds over the phone. And this dude shoots the bankers like security guard in the head immediately. So you know that these guys are fucking, they're for real.

Right. He's a cartel banker. Correct. And then he's got his wife on FaceTime. Dude, that's great because it's just like one last like indignity. Like Eric Dane knows he's going to kill this guy. Yeah, sure. And it's just like to make him give the information.

It's like, oh, here's your wife. Oh, have they met? And he's turning to the face time with her. Who are you there with? Oh, my God. Have they met? It's so good. And then it's just they're murdered anyway.

And it sucks because she's just having a fucking Thursday evening. Dude to his book club. She's like eating food. She's like, what's going on? You're calling. I thought you had to work late tonight. Wait, what? Oh, we got from Carios.

I mean, the new ownership, bad stuff. I don't say, they've just, it's not there anymore. Wait, are you fucking a 23 year old? Hold on. So then multiple man, like, takes the gun and, like, shoots him. Yeah. And then, like, has her shoot the bodyguard and then has her shoot herself in the head because she's distraught after all this.

Because they're trying to make it look like a jealous girlfriend. And he's eerily, like, narrating it. Like, and then you got so mad at him because he's never going to leave his wife. So you popped, you know, the security and you popped him and then you felt so bad about it. Well, you just took a gun to yourself. Right. And he does it while she's in his lap. Pro tip never do this.

I've done this before. You are going to get blood all over yourself. And now you're taking a shower at the murder scene. You never want you're going to leave clues. There's going to be a fingerprint in the soap. Don't do it. That's all they found me. I would actually love this.

This explains your deafness so well. I would love this. Because gunshots are loud. They're very loud. I would love the CSI moment where they go in and like, they're like, all right. So yeah, she shot him and bum, blah, blah. And then somebody's like, hey boss, you see this weird silhouette that doesn't have blood in it? It's like a guy in a chair.

Exactly, like a shadow. There's all this blood around it. You can see a chin right here and arm. Just like, no, no, no, remove the piano. You see the what's on the wall? Doesn't that look like a guy sitting in a chair? Doesn't that look like a guy from Gray's anatomy? Dude, does that make Steamy sitting in a chair?

Boston, if you ever heard of... I know, we want to kill all these people and move the world and everything. You ever heard of a blood splatter analyst? There's this show called Dexter. And, you know, it just, it taught me a lot. And I think we might be in trouble here. It taught me a lot.

That's dangerous. So he's out of the hospital. Will Smith takes him home. This is, yes, we meet New Teresa, played by Tasha Smith, who was on Empire and a lot of other TV. But, you know, just where's my mom? Randall, God damn it. I mean, all she really...

All she does in this movie is throw out the food. Yeah, that's better. She doesn't really do anything. She's almost kidnapped. Yes. She comes this close to be kidnapped. Thank you, Reggie. Hell yeah, Reggie.

Oh, Reggie is playing whatever video game. Reggie's got his gaming bag of Doritos right there. He's got like the son or the daughter in one hand, like on his lap, playing video games. Doritos in the other. Just as important as your child, your big bag. It's more important. Yes, but Doritos, it's a tough one.

You've got to wash your hands before you play the game. That's the problem. By the way, no, that's just you. Some guys could just go through. Agreed, but I feel Reggie is a dude. He's very... Facidious. He's a military man.

He's got a little clean wipe there. That's what you're about. Unless you're doing the chopsticks method, which people enjoy. I do it. Oh, the chopsticks is really good. Yeah, but I guess you could take your controller and drop it in alcohol. To clean off all the Doritos smears. But Doritos appears multiple times in this movie.

Doritos and Skittles brought to you by bad ones. It's got more screen time and more agency than Grude Steve does. Absolutely. Like 10 times more. I knew the Doritos way better at the end. I was waiting for at some point. And he should do this still. Marry the Doritos.

Well, not a bad idea. I now pronounce you man and snack. The fifth one, I think at least at the beginning of it, he should pour some skittles into a Doritos bag and eat it like the popcorn and milk duts thing. I don't think that would work the same. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. He would love it. Nacho cheese, Skittles.

At the end of the movie, Eric Dayne has three hands. It's like, Christine, Marcus, all these Doritos. You have to choose, Lowry. Oh, no, they're only, they're the jalapeno cheddar Doritos. You can kill them. That's one down. No, you can't do that to cooler rams. You can't do that.

cooler ranch. But Mike Lowry's having some nightmares and whatever. He's talking to, I guess, God, like you always take that which I love, that's sort of a deal. And then we replay. He's watching a little bit of the third movie in this nightmare. It's like,

we're watching the scene where Captain Howard's just shot in the neck at the basketball game. Very funny. Very funny. Very great. And I mean, like, because we're bringing, because it's very important, obviously how Captain Howard died. And again, like, it's so weird that like, it's obviously your son I get it he didn't raise this kid you never knew him

and you got pictures of Captain Howard at your fucking wedding wouldn't you just be like fuck this kid because you killed my boss who I love so much I mean you know what? None of us have kids dude we can't speak on that we have no fucking clue although I might

I might have an assassin kid somewhere out there I don't I can't speak for you know actually you know if my cat killed you I would be really mad at the cat right but I still love the cat exactly yeah you know would you would you allow the cat to be killed

No. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah, you'd be protecting the cast, you know what? We'd be in South America, be in Ripley hanging out. Oh, yeah, you got to break him out of a prison airplane. So he wakes up the next morning, and it's all over the news. Captain Howard has been implicated, and they're pissed off the bad boys because they find out via television broadcast. So we have the ubiquitous march into the conference room, and here's Franklin Q FBI guy.

I feel like I've seen this dude in tons of TV shows, but remember him from none of them. He's in a bunch of movies, too. I thought he was going to be crooked or something. Right, yeah. I expected that turn. I thought they were to kill him at the end somehow. He was going to be working with the bad crew. Well, there is a crooked guy in this movie.

There is. Or he gets a sheetcake on the head, you know what I mean? Like, that could also be it. Well, I honest, those bad, oh, no. And Gatorade, too, no. Yeah, he's the crusty old dean of this guy. He kind of is. I think, you know, the problem is, it probably was a thing where that dude is in the same

deleted scenes with Ray C. horn. Oh, yes. You know what I mean? There's a lot of stuff goes out. He's FBI, she's U.S. Marshals. There's talk there. This, by the way, it's the shortest bad boys movie, period. Oh, really? Okay. Interesting. Nothing wrong with that. But, like, what is the big deal about, oh, my

boss I liked so much is now disgraced and they said he had all this month? I don't care. Like, if they said Steve had like millions of dollars from the cartel and his bank got to be like, that's kind of cool. That's kind of cool. I mean, that's different for you and the bad boy. You would not be a cop in Miami, Eric. I think I

would actually be more qualified to be a cop in Miami. The minute you stepped into Miami, you'd be like, no, thank you. No, thank you. This heat, no, sir. Just take the money and shut up. It's the National Treasure 2 thing. It was like, oh, no, the shame my dad killed. My great-great-grandfather was part of Abraham Lincoln's assassination.

I'm like, that's awesome. Right. I don't know. It's a badge of honor. It's something. It's a cool bar trivary. Exactly. Then it's like, oh, think about his legacy and his family and you meet this fucking

daughter. It's like, shit, dude, I don't know, man. If they were former drug traffickers or thieves, yeah, I would totally get that. But their whole thing is honorable bullshit. Like, that's their whole fucking thing. The bad boys are yelling at everybody in this room. How dare you do this? How you're yelling at Victoria.

Is that correct? Victoria? Who's the lady? Rita. Rita's the ex-girlfriend. I love Will Smith getting up in this dude's face and he's just like, say he was dirty again. And I'm like saying to the dude, like, do it. I want to see Mike Lowry throw this guy out a window

He should be handcuffed I'm with him I was in on it Okay that's a confession Arrest him and throw him away For fucking Everett with his criminal son Will Smith starts walking out of the room The guy's like yeah I thought GIG and had another

Sequel coming The fuck did you just say What do you talk about my rid boy You talk about my rid boy But Judy storm's in here too And she's like I don't know Rita if the bad boys are innocent.

I don't give a fuck about the bad boys because Mike Lowry's bastard murdered my father. And I will kill him like a... Oh, here's a car. We didn't bring the card. I have the card here. Yeah.

And I want to kill your son because he's an animal. Yeah. And I'm a U.S. Marshal. I didn't know about any of this. And she's just like, I know I've no jurisdiction here. Then get the fuck out. I'm sorry your dad was a fucking criminal.

Get out. Actually, she could... I'd be that the guy with the mustache and max, like, actually, she can stay. She's on my head. side. We like her. I just think we stigmatize criminal too much. You know, oh, he took a little

money. Who hasn't? Inside the car does check just says, fuck you on it? Totally. Fuck you and zero sense. And then like in the memo, it's like, congratulations. Fuck you and your witch ex.

Which is, that? Which? Which? The witch? Which? Which? Who is on first? Right. Thank you, Chris. Yes. So, yes, there was a mystical witch, a Wiccan type of thing. An actual witch. And you're right, that is worse. But I do think a lot of this, now what we're talking about, and it is kind of funny,

but the fact where it ends up with the, the whole part where, you know, we're driving to the car and Marcus is like, we've been doing this for years, Mike, all the past lives. You were a donkey. I'm a mother soul. You're a child soul sucking up my tinnies. Yes. And you, you know, and blah, blah, blah. The donkey bit, like, it's fine, but, like, it's fine if it's just him talking about it.

But the movie makes you believe that it is real. Because it is real. That's the problem. Now, Chris, you didn't stick around for the Stinger scene at the very end of the credits. Does he turn into a donkey? There is a flashback to, like, the B.C. era where Will Smith is the donkey and Marcus is like the shepherd or something? Oh, really?

Yeah. So, wait, so wait, is it a donkey or is it Will Smith? No, it's a donkey, but then it talks like Will Smith at the end of it. You see what they did there? Okay. It's like, it's kind of like live-action Shrek. Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing.

You can't be going donkey with Eddie right there, dude. I'm sorry. I know. You throw a chain at Eddie. And also, I also, I think I might have said this last movie, too. Marcus cannot wear that fucking varsity jacket. That is Eddie Murphy's jacket. I'm sorry.

That has to go somewhere else. Yeah. We get a denim on him. Get him any other jacket. He might have asked for Eddie's permission. That's fair. Eddie gave his blessing for the jacket. And he might have been like, you know what?

Sure. I'm not going to do it. I'm never going to do that movie. It doesn't say Detroit Lions on it. Okay. All right. That's fine. Maybe all the stuff with the donkey and like the Shrek shit was,

they were kind of talking shit because they knew that that terrible Axel F was in production. Never saw it. Still having it. But, really? Let me just save the time. If this didn't work for you, don't fucking bother. Don't fucking bother. But by the way, I mean, Eddie might have given permission.

Did you guys hear that Eddie Murphy's son, Eric, and Martin Lawrence's daughter, Jasmine, are engaged. Oh, congratulations. So they're now a, you know, they're getting into the family right there. That's like Scottie Peevin's son and Michael Jordan's daughter. Didn't they get divorced already? Or are they still around? Oh, I don't know. I know.

I think Murphy was very supportive of him when he was coming up. The shape of Eric Dane is taking, has a team of like hackers, including this sexy hacker lady that does nothing. She's not in the third act. Am I wrongly? She's there. She's at the high house. Oh, she does she get shot or something?

There's a part where like a bomb goes off and a bunch of them like either die or flee. Okay, got it. Yeah, no, she's definitely there. She felt like a number three to me that she needed a death, but maybe that's not. No, she's just the hacker that portray, uh, uh, relays a good chunk of information, fooling you into thinking that it's a character you should care of. I don't remember her at all. The lair is, this is where I kind of like keyed into the fun of it.

I'm like, you have to be like, it's so stupid to have. you have an alligator lair, like, an abandoned alligator farm. It's a stupid. It's absolutely abandoned amusement farms. I kind of get that was like the one where I was like, okay, you're just so stupid enough that I'm going to enjoy myself. And the hackers do something that sets off a kill switch that Joey Pants has on his thing, which now will release the tape. I'm releasing the tapes. Release the tapes.

In a world where we've already had wins. and magic spells. Just make him an Obi-1-Conovic ghost. Like, you gotta got a fucking Degabah, I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure it was batted around. I'm sure him coming to him, like, at night in a dream, like, glowing blue. Dude, you're batted around by Joey pants and no one else. What if I was in the movie more?

Luke, you got to go to Degababat. Just bring, like, so many different pants of socks. I can't even tell you. Like, however many socks are going to bring double it. It's gross over there. I don't only fucking hope. I guess you got a fucking sister whether you don't know about it.

And then there's apparently 50 other Jedi in the fucking world I forgot about. Actually, you know, because obviously we can't just let characters go away. Certainly not. And like with vocal performances, it's different obviously. So like whenever it is, bless it, you know,

he's an old man, but it hasn't happened yet. Whenever Frank Oz goes. Sure. What if a, you know, instead of bringing someone in to just do a Frank Oz doing Yoda impression, it's just Joe Pantz talking like himself. I would love it. So it's just Yoda, but it's Joey Pan.

Yes. Well, we haven't heard Grogu fully talking, have we? Oh, there you go. He learns, when he learns to speak in full sentences, it's Joey Dan. Exactly, yeah. Well, not that we've lost Gilbert.

That's the obvious choice. Get that fucking helmet back on, you dip shit. Et cetera. So you don't be great. Stop driving this fucking car so fast. I'm going to throw up you driving your motorcycle like a fucking space asshole. Give me that little fucking ball from your gear shifter.

I like it You know I love playing with it fucking Mendeloreans everywhere I can't tell you who's who So yes Here's the captain's video The first of two

The first of two This is the one that's just like The teaser It's the intro video I can't Yeah it's the trailer before the trailer I can't tell you The stuff until I know that like

It's you guys watching this video or whatever So here's a hint As to where you have to go Here's a clue to the person Who's gonna give you the full video is the idea. Yes. And it's actually,

this one at least Joe Pence is like very like kind of somber. Like if you're watching this, I'm dead. Fucking dead. God damn it. He's like,

we got rats in the walls. That's a good one. That's amazing. We should all start recording these. Oh, absolutely. You never know what's going to happen,

you know? True. No, that's totally true. And so the clue is the Coke bottle giants got the answers. They can't figure out

what that means. Don't trust anybody. Guys, the first movie. He's in the second one too. for a little bit. You know what I'm talking about. Big, not actual giant. Well, he's actually a bad boy from the 1980s,

the pistons, whatever. It doesn't matter at this point. But yeah, so there's a brief, like, cut into Eric Dane telling his number two guy, hey, I don't want to be dealing with any more dead cops involved in this fucking scam, so don't kill them, just follow them and see what's going out. Also,

they have visited the sun briefly already, and they've been like, hey, do you think you could identify? the dude who was like the go between and he's like, yes, I can if I saw a picture of it. Because we're also doing this thing where it's like, oh no, your mother wanted Joe Pantiliano dead for the reasons in the last movie.

He's like, yes, but actually there was another guy there that you didn't see that wanted him dead for a totally different reason. They just say that the cops put him on the hit list. Yes. But did she have beef with Joey pants? They murder. They murder him in that last movie. Because he's assigned by the cops to do it. That's what we find out.

Oh, I see. There's no, I don't think there's any there's got to be a reason why he kills her he kills him in the last movie because the cops told him to because they were on eyes he was getting this is what we find out he was a hit man yeah I don't remember and I don't care yes that's fair

yeah it's just a because like they say at some point because it is a little bit of course correcting but no reasons actually ever give he's just murdered by the guy and you think it's because the kid hates Will Smith got it and in this movie it sort of clarifies that where he's like the cartel found out that Joey Pants

was, or the cops found out that Joey Pants was sniffing around. So they wanted to have that. So they added him to the hit list. So I was, it's one of those like, yeah, I killed him, but I was just doing a job. It wasn't personal kind of a situation. Start getting, start getting used

to liking me, the assassin's son. That is essentially what this work is being done. We're trying to do it and just. We're trying. It's a hard one. It's a hard one. It's nice to see that professionalism. No feelings, you know.

It's also nice that he doesn't have like a little 12 year old sidekick either. that he may or may not want to sleep with. Also true. I've got I forgot about that. Wait, what's happening? Leon the professional. Oh, yes, of course.

Oh, my goodness. The titular professional, dude. The whole, the full Princess Amadella. So we go to Fletcher's art studio. We have a little bit of him doing some more fearless stuff here where he's like, I can't die. And he's like walking backwards across like the highway or whatever. Oh, of course.

This is also the big cameo, Big Mike, Big Mike Bay. in his Porsche. Yeah. Man, the tan on this guy, huh? He's looking like leather. It's getting kind of stay out of the sun, buddy. Is his last movie ambulance? Probably. I think so. I honestly think that was good enough to bring him back

even though I was a detractor of his back to the day rather famously. I think it's time. I feel like I'd rather have the man himself than people emulating. I mean, he's been pretty regularly the work, but ambulance to me is like the what, like give him a big budget. Let him go nuts. That one is so fucking good. I mean, it's interesting,

because there's got to be some reason why he doesn't direct these and it's not like that other people don't want him Maybe he just doesn't give a shit He just wants the money, he's just hanging out He's just an older guy He's like he serves as like a producer on them He gets to film fun cameos and Porsches I guess

I'm sure he goes golfing and the lunches And they don't like give him as much Like he I think he kept with those Transformers movies Oh yeah Because like they let him do all that tech shit And like that's what he's really into Is the tech stuff So I assume that's why he sticks with it.

And Bad Boys, you don't get to do as much with that. Yeah, but the ambulance is not really a lot of tech stuff besides what, like, the drone footage or whatever. Yeah, I mean, he broke, I mean. Which is cool. And we're doing it here. That's what I'm saying. Bring him back. Yes.

I feel like he'll probably direct something again. I hope it's like another non-franchised, like, one-off thing. He'll definitely come. He's a couple things to be directorial. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. So, yeah, anyway, here's John Sally. As Fletcher from the first two movies.

as this hacker guy but now he's moved into like the art world or whatever and this is a little like oh it's good I've hidden the clue in something that'll live for fucking ever a QR code that's your art speaking of fucking who's on first

there's a who's on first thing here where he's like I got to confirm that you guys are the guys and Will Smith's like just pretend we are the guys what guy you guys have to be the edits because you're supposed to say and then I say what I'm so that's kind of funny because it's like that spy stuff you gotta say this thing before i tell you yes exactly which we never learned what it is because

this guy's assassinated by eric dain immediately scan it was what you're supposed to scan it scan it yeah it's just a dumb q r well also martin lawrence's gun is to this guy's head as he gets shot and wilson did you shoot this is a really funny thing because it's almost like martin lawrence is high right here because he sniffs the gun he's like i don't think i fired it shot marvin in the head Yes, it's very that much. Big shootout breaks out here. This is the first instance of seeing how we're going to film action with drones around here because it's a big warehouse.

And like smartly putting a big warehouse like this where the little guy can fly around. We see all it's a cool. And also what I think, too, is neat about it is that if you're going to do stuff like this, it forces you to create a like mostly practical set. Sure. Because it has to have like things to fly around. Otherwise it's going to. really look fucking cheap.

So you have, like, cool, like, his art or whatever all around. It reminded me of a way less cool version of, what was the thing we went to in Denver? Miao Wool. It's like a cheap meow wolf that we're doing here. And this is jelly beans get shot. They're, you know, all over the place. And this is the weird Martin Lawrence. It's a little bit of like a pop-eye deal.

Because he's like a juice canister gets shot. There's all this like Juicycle. It's like Hawaiian Punch maybe. And he's just like drinking it, let it hit his face. With Barry White playing. I mean, it'd be great if he just had a heart attack again. Yeah, that was just big of the juice. Oh, that is what did it.

Oh, fuck. But apparently, like, he's fueled by heart failure and diabetes. Yes. And he jumps up and starts shooting everything. It does. It gives him more energy. And he, he almost takes out this. The fat guy gets outside eventually, but he almost kills this fat guy.

Oh, yes. Yes. But there is a chase. They go, they go out to the highway. and that is where Mike Lowry has his first panic attack but it's not a panic attack because Mike Luror doesn't do that shit

which is also what happens every time one of these characters has a panic attack because they fucking refuse to admit what it actually is and it's so stupid because you're totally right Steve I mean it's such a played thing at this point that like the second like Will Smith isn't running as effectively I remember sitting in the theater going

here comes panic and it's like eh you know and it just just well that's what he'll have to overcome I guess. Meanwhile, Martin Lawrence is playing a teen wolf and he's surfing on the roof in his car trying to fucking shoot the guys still. And he saves Will Smith, right? Yeah, Eric Dane's about

to run him down in one of those like BMW splinter vans or whatever and he gets him out of the way just in the nick of time there. This is when now here comes Vanessa Hudgens' character and a big old Dorn. Kelly and Dorn are back in the movie because

you know, why not? Now this is what I couldn't remember. them I remember them but in that last movie wasn't this team slightly larger yes

you know who the other guy is a guy got a little more heat on Charles Melton was in that movie yeah yeah oh he's the other guy is that right oh that's funny

yeah very funny it's like oh I can't be in bad boys for I'm working with Todd Haynes or something like oh wow that's funny I never looked it up and the second time I'm watching

it the same thing happened. I was like, I'm pretty sure there was a third guy. And Julianne Moore Vanessa Hutchino, that's tough. That's a tough one to think about. I feel like they should have just acted like that other movie never happened. I kind of agree. And just put the toothpaste back of the tube and just... Right. It'd be like that was a fun adventure with ammo.

And now we're back here in real world. Well, that's what it felt part of what I hated, and I think most of us agreed about what I hated about that last one, was the fact that like it did. It felt like we were back during a TV show. the bad boys.

Oh, big time. It was bad boys, colon ammo. Which, you know, maybe in bad boys colon ammo. You'll get your read a story. You will get, you'll find out about reading. You introduce this wife that he's got now. I was reading, you know, I think it was Wikipedia, so it's apocryphal, so, you know, don't quote it.

But it was like, oh, you know, Will Smith said that he would be down for another bad boys movie about, you know, a fifth bad boys movie. Sure. If, you know, the younger people were more involved and had to do more stuff. which is like kind of a joke but also I think that's kind of true though I think it's sort of like you diminish me in these movie you know that means I'm only

on set three days a week if you give me down to two days a week you got me he's also like a 70 year old man well that's the thing they're like 75 he should be a cheap like 80 years old the next one should be him moving into the chief position if you were doing this logically but of course you're not going to because Mike Lowry

he has to be on the streets but that is just so tough though because it's like how How are you? I mean, yes, he's like 89 years old. Vanessa Hudders finds the QR code. I was like, all right, you pass my test. So here you go. We have egg rolls.

We have a cob salad. We have many. We got a bisque. We got a tomato and a lobster. Okay, now that everyone else turned off this fucking QR code once I started jabber in that, I can tell you the real stuff.

This is kind of like a public QO. Yes, it's out there. Yeah, it's very weird that it's a QR code. Is that performance? Oh my God, what a great exhibit. We were going through it. We were doing the, you know, the tour with the headset. We did the QR codes and that corrupt police.

That was a great, like, oh, yeah. Exhibit. Was that AI? Like, how did you do that? He was like the guy from Midnight Run a little bit. Like an older version of him, you know? And he really, you know what? He really sold me on the Arugula and Pear Salas. It was, it's sad, you know, it looked good.

But so he's starting to tell about this big investigation. that he's doing, including, here's how he started getting suspicious. There was a big thing of Coke that went missing when they were supposed to do this big case. He brought these two. Which it seems to be part two because, oh, that was when we were in Havana, they say kind of very

underlying. The thing about the, what do you call is from part two? Oh, okay. The ecstasy that was talking about, because they show the, I always remember the one guy from part two when they're looking for him and it's like, how much is it going to cost for this guy or whatever? And the guy goes, oh, Blondie dread, very

expensive. You see a little clip of Bondi drag from part two. Got, got, got to go. But he's like, oh, we were investigating. I brought these two cops out of retirement to, like, look on the down low. The second they found the littlest bit of information, they died in a car crash together. Which I just assume it's just a regular car crash. I would just be there.

But not Joey Pants. He became suspicious. So then he's like, and then remember when the thing went down, this is the thing about the ecstasy bust or whatever. He was like, when that happened, I put all this shit into that storage facility we got from those guys, and that's where I've been keeping like my little secret information layer. It's not going to help. If you're trying to, like, I'm not corrupt,

but I do have a storage unit that was used by drug dealers, and there's really secret shit in it. Listen, I got my Christmas stuff over there. I got a couple of bikes and like four pounds of cocaine. The cocaine, yeah, all right, it's, I guess technically mine.

My name's on the lease of the storage unit. Look, I have a birthday every year, don't I? Don't I get to enjoy it? it's my storage day Doran's got a great line around here where he's like guys I just want to put it out there before we go any farther

I would like to say the rat is not me I find him to be a very funny character they're like him they're both nothing's in the movie but that dude is charming I will say the fact that they got rid of the third

who is Charles Belton who was probably the best of the bunch I think it's cleaner I don't mind them as much as I did in the last video I will say that for sure because it just reads as like the rookie cop character

Yes, and they're, like, more supportive as opposed to, like, oh, look what he could do. Look what he could do, which was the last movie. Yes, they're doing stuff. This is more, they're doing stuff, but it's in support of the movie. Right. You know what's funny is my wife walked in while I was watching this, all this stuff going on with Dorian. And she's like, what are they supposed to be? And I was like, local police.

She laughed. MPD. Yeah. Yeah, just some regular old MPD. Just local police. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. The hottest people you could ever imagine.

Ooh. with all the gadgets and guns and anything yeah you know they're funded let's say this is where we go this is the helicopter right we're gonna do the transfer

well first is the prison we're just sort of like whatever oh it's a quick scene of Armando like they're gonna get him in prison because they know like what's going on oh yes the fight and he whips these motherfuckers dead oh my god

it's a really cool scene I really love I love him with the weight and the shirt tie in a t-shirt around a free weight and swinging it around and kidding people. And I guarantee you the next, which I did this time, the next time I see this guy in a movie, I'm like, oh, what's he from? I guarantee it.

I cannot remember this guy for the life of me. I don't know what. Not even him. It's just the movie maybe. It's just, I can't. You're right. I mean, like, they give him stuff to do, but like kind of not enough. Like, you don't have, there's no heartfelt scene with him and Will Smith.

He's just a empty vessel for violence. Well, he's, he is a empty, for like all Wolfsmith's emotional because the wife's not going to get it so he has to kind of be it like there we don't know what makes him go like he's just the son of a witch like that and

like literally that like what we know about him is like and he kills people and like at the end of it he's kind of sorry about all that and would like to be redeemed. The problem too is like he and this is just from the first movie because the most recent

one before this the third movie his first movie in the franchise. He's supposed to be like this terrifying assassin or whatever. So he's like the strong silent type and that continues into this. So one of the reasons you don't remember him is because he says like six things in this movie and all of which are just

like generic nothing things. Which is fine and you would be memorable if he was also the lead but because he's like fourth or fifth down like you just are like oh yeah that's nothing. This prison scene's great. The prison seems great. Quick question about the prison transfer which is where

where are the helicopter. Right, because they go to Rita and Ian Griffith there and they're like, listen, this dude just needs to come look at stuff. Like, we bring him here, help us facilitate this. And it's a weird, like, Mr. Wannabe Mayor is like, well, I fucking hate that guy. I'm not doing it for Captain Howard. I'm doing it for you.

Do you just happen to know exactly where he is right now? Or do you have the exact coordinates of Mike Lowry? I'm sorry, Lieutenant Colombo. I'm not evil. Then they load up his killer son with. with Garland Green, Johnny 23. Who else is on this con air? All right, so would you rather?

A six-hour flight, say to Los Angeles. Okay. Middle seat or this cool cage thing? Oh, I'm taking cage. Okay, absolutely. The cage is going to nuts. You can walk a little bit. You're standing.

I'll take cage anywhere, man. Keep me away from these fucking pigs on these flights. But that's the thing, dude. You're not being kept away from them. They're being kept away from you. And that's why it's the best flight of magic. Well, that's, okay, I am going to need a prisoner to look out. Because these fuckers start sticking their hands in.

Yeah, that's a good way. I need somebody to be protecting me. I need a piss bucket as well. I would still like free and flight drinks. What's your thing? Snacks. Cold drinks. Because it's not like we're a prisoner.

So you can come and leave from the phone booth whenever you want. You used to restaurant. Oh, I like this. Yeah, it's just my designated area. Yeah, it's just stay the fuck. away from the phone booth. That's Andrews. We need to put prisons on flights. I like it. I like it a lot. Open door cages on our system. That would only be $2,000 more. Yeah, it's the problem. Honestly, throw a curtain up. Why not? Yeah, look like I'm in between doing

a magic trick for the whole flight. Yeah, I don't even want to look at these people. Just like, you know, hand me the gin and tonic through the slot and leave. And you get a little, maybe a nice little stool in there. Yeah, just give me a stool. Exactly. Perfect. Yeah. Exactly. And I'll need to be a nice chair. I'm down. Well, then, but I am, I'm going to start wondering which one is the smell coming from. There is something pretty heavy going from one of them.

If I get tired, some hay on the ground would be great. Oh, okay. So there's first class. You think you're laying down in that thing? I hell, hell yeah, I am, dude. I'm limber. I can put my feet up again, like, vertically, you know? First class, business class, prison class.

Prison class, yeah. Prison class is what they actually just call economy these days. I would actually. You might as well be in fucking. But for this, this sounds actually pretty good. I'd pay first class fares for a prison class. I think there's something of this, but here's the thing. You've got to have some guardrails in place here because people are fucking terrible.

If we're going the curtain route, you have to be told in advance. Here's the thing, yes. In advance, you are being filmed in this thing at all time. Just like there's cameras all over planes anyway. So you can't be fucking dittling yourself in there, dude. If they pull that curtain back and you're tugging it and drinking a gin and time. Oh, no, I forgot. I took all that.

Spurbex? Oh, I see what I got it. Seaman X. I took all my semen X. Oh, no. I'm drowning in the boat. I'm, like, painting the plane. People are disgusted. Some of them start going themselves or puking. But I guarantee you, one guy's like, God, he's shooting thick. What does he use for? I'm going to ask that guy when he's taken, man. What a supplement? You know, it's funny. People think I'm perverted. I'm not. No, so they are. Christian man. Anyway, I had no idea about semen X. I had zero idea. You didn't know that you had a weak load? I mean, trust, whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I have actually quite a, quite a healthy, healthy dish.

I just didn't know, I didn't know you. You got a real, like, buckshot going on there, dude, I could, I could blow a hole in a thing of styrofoam. I could blow a hole through a, anyway, anyway, I just had no idea. You want to end that sense? I had no idea there was enhancers. I actually didn't. I knew the pineapple thing. Sure, sure.

It can't work, obviously, right? It's bullshit. I think the trade-off is like, maybe it does, but you get all the cancers. Yeah, it's every last one. Right into the mailbag, we all hate movies at gmail.com, if you've had crazy load stories. But again, like, in all of the sexual dysfunction you can have, I can't imagine your partner putting her hand, their hand on your shoulder, but, you know, your load just isn't that, isn't that thick? Just weak, weak shit, man. Just weak shit.

More clear than white. And I don't like seeing it. I'm going to be honest with you. I need that to be like a glass of soju, motherfucker, nice and cloudy. Oh, my God. Listen, I got no problems in the cloudy department. Cloudy department.

So this plane crashes. Is this how you say to your doctor? Cloudy or the chance of meatballs. Which are the testicles. Anyway, go ahead. Oh, man. So, yes. Wouldn't you know it?

Eric Dane and his crew have snuck on and they're pretending to be like the backup pilots or whatever. We've seen this go. down. It is kind of great because, to this guy's credit, because they have a knife to his throat. They're like, say it, say it. It's like, I'm being attacked by Mike Lowry and this other guy. They're killing me. Oh, my God. And then they cut his throat. And I mean, like, you know, like, in court, you play that. You're like, that sounds like that guy had a gun to his head. Yeah, exactly. You got to do like, all right, I'm Eric Dane. We're going to do like a run through. I need you to read this. But you're going to cut my throat anyway. No, I need you to read it better. Why would I bother?

Because listen, cutthroat, pretty quick death. Ball torture. He doesn't got the time. This place is going down immediately. The first sign that's going down is there's a muscular pilot that got on board. That's not a good. You see a muscular pilot get on your plane. You are going to crash and die.

One with a beard, forget it. Get out of here. What you want is like the kind of, you know, schlubby, like 50s guy with like a little flopper white hair. Just a little, a little substantive. teacher guy. Exactly. That's what you want. Or a substitute teacher lady. If you see a professional wrestler or a Grey's Anatomy

cast member come on the fight, you are going down in flames. You know what? Eric Dane, if he was more of a cardio man rather than a weights man, maybe I believe him. They got those military guys, so I can see it there. That's fair, but you know, this guy doesn't repilot. Lins is way too

big. He's a fucking juggernaut. And so we have a big fight. Big action sequence. On the tarmac, whatever the hell you call, the freight bed of the plane. Right. The con air thing. Yeah. The, the, the doors are opening. The, uh, there's a, there's a string, a little string that's holding the cage. Like, this is like my favorite movie, Drake Uncharted, which was so. Press X to hold rope. Keep rope steady. Here's the thing about the prison class system. If you're going to put me in that thing, you need at least two strings to keep me in the plane. Yeah. It's what. Sure. Yeah. Because this is crazy, right?

This cargo thing? Yeah, now, Will Smith is holding on to this string. I guess it's a rope, if you will. It's like industrial road. A rope is like an adult string. Yes. It's like a string all grown up. Exactly.

It's like a, imagine a string taking Siemen X. And now shoot ropes. And then Marcus is eventually holding this thing. And it's like, he's straining. Yes. You just had fucking heart surgery. Yes. right like did they said stents were in him yeah yeah do they say stents yeah they say stents

says yeah you're dead buddy you're dead yeah yeah he's not going through this the landing he's not living through for certain this is just this is tough but i do like they're like you know course crack it's actually it's not a i don't think it's a plane i think it's a big he it's a it's a two-stick helicopter yeah fucking oh fuck you're right you're right jesus it's con helicopter con copter con copter and they're grabbing the the sticks and Armando's like, hey, like, pull it this way or whatever, and Martin Lawrence is like, how did you learn how to fly? And he's like, I'm a drug dealer, man, which is both a dumb line, but also like very funny. Yes, of course. It's kind of funny. Yeah, that works.

Okay, so muscular pilot gets on your flight, you're going to die. You get on a helicopter, you're going to die. Probably another. Helicopter period. Ninety-nine percent chance of death. Exactly. We crash into the river here. What's going on right down there? Oh, my God. Every day, dude, every day these helicopters are falling into the Yeah, no thank you. And Helos, man. But we're all alive. And this is where the movie gets soggy.

And honestly, it could be shorter than an hour and 56 minutes. You're not interested in my fellow Americans with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Yeah, another guy. It's a very interesting little bit here. And we lost our house because of your failed murder investigation detective. And my husband lost our job because you didn't solve the bank robbery, other detective. You know what, Marcus, we have to work together. We have to come together.

I don't care for, this happens a lot in these movies, not just these movies, but like, the fact that like the whole, the media knows all about, oh, Mike Lowry and Marcus, they're running around. Like, they too are crooked. I'm like, right. Okay. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I mean, I would, that would, that would, and none of it makes sense because, like, you would, everyone would know the cops that invaded Cuba. Yes. For sure, everybody would know that one. I feel like in the news of our past, they wouldn't do this, but maybe now, because, like, you look at the local news now in New York City, it's like, it's basically like in a city of eight plus million people, eight million people in this city. Did you know one bad thing happened yesterday?

Let's talk about it for fucking ever and say that's going to happen to you. One bad thing happened out of eight million people and now the world is ending. So they could talk about it. It's the easiest way to keep stupid people scared. Yeah, David Burns said it, same as it ever was, baby. It's always been that. Whatever the fucking negative thing is, we put that out front. So we got this crash site, much like the fugitive right here.

And instead it's Ray Sehorne running around. We got three suspects armed and dangerous. Dach, tack, tack, deck, deck, deck. If she was just doing a Tommy Lee Jones impression. It seemed like they were setting her up to start that whole spiel. Oh, yeah. She doesn't really do it. And I'm like, what the fuck are you here for?

I mean, it's for this and for the, it's literally just for the end scene, I think. Yes, it is. It's for us to add to Joey Pierce. parents be like, look, he did have a legacy. We're all upset that we had to kill him off in the last. He really was the spark in this thing. I mean, it is one of those things, though, right? And I feel the same exact way with Scream 3, where it's like, the people writing the movie

disagreed with the choice that the last screenwriters made. And they do this dumb thing to like fake reverse it. And you're just like, ah, this sucks. It's over. Death is death. That's the whole point. I am with the screen. three people, though, because if you bring him back and he becomes more part of that, maybe we don't get Heckler the movie. Maybe we don't have to deal with whatever

Jimmy Kennedy is doing now, which scares me. But look, Chris, think about it the other way, dude. In this universe, Randy Meeks is killed in Scream 2, which means that's why we got that hilarious New Year's Eve special. Oh, yes. So, you know, the universe works a mysterious way. It's that meme of that guy sent up the

dominoes and one's really big. Uh-huh. It's true. The meme. The meme is true. And Marcus is... As what do you call it? Mike calls him. Marcus Winfrey is trying to repair the father-son bond here and it's not going so well. Dude, an Oprah joke in 2024 just does not work. She ain't fucking giving advice no more.

And then Eric Dane, because again, it's a little John Wiki and then the movie forgets about it, which is, oh no, we're going to put a... all the gangs are going to come after you for $5 million. Eric Dane puts a bounty on them. Yeah, 5 mil. You go one seat of that, then the movie forgets, which is fine. Another scene that we're at right here that is also completely ruined by the fucking trailer

is this scene where they're running through the woods and it's your, we're on the lamb, we need to get clothes. And it's them stealing the clothes from the Confederate flag, halebilly guys. And Will Smith's got a fucking Rebo McIntyre T-shirt. on and you're just like, man, I spent three months at the theater watching

the trailer, which included this scene and the fucking convenience store scene that just mashed together. I completely forgot about those trailer scenes. And this, I was like, how are they going to get out of this one? And it was way too easy. I mean, I was kind of because I don't know a Reuben McIntyrethire song. I really don't. I don't know

a single one over single. I don't know. I usually could pull at least one out. I sure she's covered songs on for the show of it. Like Bonnie Raid I can do. but like I nothing give something to talk about it's not her that's funny right that's my right yeah okay that's all I got but yeah if you saw the trailer you already know this scene so we don't have to spend too much time on it basically

Armando hot wires a car and they all speed up in the in the flat bed of the truck this is why two goes a little above this for me is because their racist scene is so much better I mean that's a fantastic opening then with the fucking clan and Mike Shannon just doing his best Well, Reba McIntyre has a new song that sums up what our whole experience with it.

I can't. Her new songs, I can't. When they speed off down the road, it's Reba. Is it her? It's her. I looked at it up. It's Reba doing bad for me. You know what?

I give it. That's points. That's good. And it's like, oh, we need to call somebody. Let's call Tiffany Haddish for some reason. I think she's kind of funny here with this whole eat my pussy stuff. Yes. And then with Martin Lawrence saying, well, just put your tongue out and she puts it down there.

So you're not actually doing it. I thought that was very funny. Oh, no. Again, like Martin Lawrence is selling everything. They are giving him so much shit to sell in this movie and he is doing a hell of a job. You're totally right. He actually really levitates this movie to being close to watchable for me. Just because I miss funny Martin Lawrence.

You know, I grew up watching. Oh, yeah. I'm never going to get what I really want, which is a Harmony Curran movie just with Martin Lawrence, just... Him in the beach room, dude. Him in the beach room is so good. God damn. I was blown away. It's so funny.

And if I got more of that, I would have been very happy. There is a movie that I have to recommend to everybody. It is a... The Beach Bum. No, it is an advanced we hate movies, meaning it's a really bad movie that you might turn, that most people could and should turn off. Agro drift. But it is... Are you talking about taro again?

I swear to God, Steve. Not tarot. I'm going to assume it's a movie that Martin Lawrence is in. It is. It's called Mind Cage. What? It is.

This is a thriller, right? Yes. No, I didn't. It was a, I watched the trailer. Are you sure this is a movie? It's not a 30-rock movie? It's a secret movie, man, which is why I watched the trailer. I think I might have even talked about it on the screen line.

It's possible when you watched it. Yes. It's Martin Lawrence, John Malcovich, and some lady, and basically, like, we're going after a serial killer. but spoiler alert John Malcovich has supernatural powers in the movie and he's kind of Hannibal Lecter like yeah

it's so fucking funny man I'm gonna tell you just put on mind cage tonight I was gonna say it sounds like a Tracy Jordan movie yes yeah it sounds like I was just because I remember when I was scrolling through Apple and like when it came up I was like that's got to be fake it's got to be fake

and then Steve watched it and it's a real movie wow goddamn this lemon I am in mind cage this weekend and it's about a mind that's in a cage but so now she calls in she's like basically we want the bounty

it's $5 million dollars sorry guys there is a great thing where to end the whole like eating pussy thing is Martin Lawrence going he almost did that shit yes and Will Smith's like no he did not then there's a big now all the gangs

are coming after them at first you know what this is so And he's like, oh, DJ Callad's back for the last movie. Great. And he's like, oh, remember when you did this to me? And I'm like, oh, boo. But then he gets pinned between two cars and set on fire. And I'm like, yeah, DJ Callis is going to. It's funny that he's right after the talk about eating pussy.

Because he says he refuses not to, which fuck you asshole. And would you know, that just translates right away. DJ Collins never satisfied a lady. No, no, probably not. I mean, just look at him. Look at him. And it's not just set on fire. It's set off.

set on fire by a dude dropping a Molotov cocktail on your head I felt the same way seeing it for the first time I was like man he's terrible and he's one of the worst parts of that awful third movie oh before my thought could even finish you're dead that's how you do that

plays himself no it's like a dude who was like they go to him in the third movie for information of some kind and they're like beat up or whatever this is a big action seat of all the I love like the van catching on fire Because it's like they're, the van that catches on fire is the one they're driving. That is the one that has been Molotov.

Yes. So they've got like DJ Khaled guts all over the place. And then they're driving and like Martin Lawrence uses the windshield wipers. And that just all sets on fire. And it sets the whole wipeer line on fire. And the fire is like in the van. But uh-oh, we're being chased by Marshall Judy Howard. Uh-huh.

The most boring character to ever exist. They try to get her going a little crazy right here. because like she's all of a sudden like going from buttoned up U.S. Marshall to like now I'm sticking my head out the car firing a gun at these guys. She sees her father's assassin in the fucking backseat. And that's the problem with this. Again, it's not his fault. Armando is this character because he like again in the last movie like he has three lines he's stoic. This time they're asking him to kind of do comedy and he doesn't know how to do it. Like you know what I mean? Right. He's like raising his eyes like silent Bob a couple of eyes.

Yeah. They tried this. He definitely is. You're totally. Totally right. But yeah, so they jump out of the van. It crashes. She doesn't like see them run away, which is funny because she runs up thinking they're in the record. No, they're gone. We go to Dorn's boat house.

This is, hey, man, we know we got our, the sun here. We're going to look through the stuff. We're going to look through the images. And Dorn's like not letting them in. Yeah, because he's fucking Kelly. Stooping your coworker, dude. It smells like full loads in here. I'm smelling full loads.

Dorn is definitely taking Semen X X. He's on the fucking. auto resupply every 30 days shooting that ammo into her it's like a light smell chlorine what is oh hello and it's actually yeah there's almost no side effects it just

turns your vision a little purplish you know like everything's fine you get bisexual lighting in your eyes that was it they're not a sponsor yet so we can besmirch them I remember when what was the OG of it all Viagra when Viagra came out one of the

things that they listed as side effects was Like, you might see blue. And I believe, if I'm remembering this right, because it was like, of the time as hot topic issue or whatever, they wrote into an episode of Matt About You where Paul takes it. And he's like, oh, my fucking dick.

No, you don't POV, but I believe there is something in there where Paul Reisers doing a, now it's blue. Jamie, it's blue, it's blue. Imagine if there was a POV of just blue, like a blue gel over the lens, and you got this blue cock in your vision. Half of them mad about you that's just, just like Derek Darmund's blue and just to have it.

Absolutely. But he's just talking about how horny it is. I could be misremembering that part of the episode wrong, but there is definitely a mad about you where Paul Reiser takes Viagra. I'm sure he did. Come on. But so, like, we sit down here.

And this is kind of funny. There's a moment where it's like, when Kelly sees Armando, she, you know, draws her firearm on him. And it's like, Doran's like, I'll talk to her. And Will Smith's like, all right, I'm going to talk to Armando. Martin Lawrence, with his contemplative bag of Dorino,

When you need to think about stuff and have a quiet sit, these contemplative Doritos right here, well... It's also a great little break for a commercial. Exactly. For a TV broadcast that might just be brought to you by Doritos. Exactly. And, you know, we're like looking into stuff. Oh, very importantly, Martin Lawrence,

like, oh, could you log into my ring cam? I want to see my family. Right. We see that. Which also, like, I know people do this, but like putting cameras inside of your... I understand outside, but like inside of your... inside of your house. Why am I doing the NSA's work?

Exactly. You don't think your phone's already doing it for you? You don't think your TV's talking to the government right now? And like, do you have like pets that are rambunctious when you're not around like that? That I can understand. Something like that I get, but like that's not ever explained. It's just like no, I just want to make sure they are where they say they are. Well, like what if Reggie got like a little chub? He's on the couch late at night. You're turning this on to see what's going on the house and he's just pumping away. I don't like you. using my snacks, and I don't like you use my lube, okay? I don't like either of it.

I don't like either of it in my house. Reggie, did you blow through all my lube? No, sir. I was looking forward to my lube after the hospital. Right after I eat my contemplative bag of Doritos. I bought that special from Adameneve.com, and I love that stuff. So Armando is flipping through some photos here. We have a little time-lapse montage of them building the whole case and whatever.

And every once in a blue moon, Will Smith will walk up to Armando in the time-lapse and show him a picture. No. He sees a photo. I love this. He goes and scans it in Dorn's scanner here. And Dorn goes, hey, I don't go to your house and tell you how to make drugs. Really solid comedy line from Dorm here. I thought this was all right. But here we go. He's like, blow it up. There's Eric Dane in the photo. And he's like, that's the fucking guy. And in the, the ease of computer magic here. And it's just like, click, click, click. This is everything about this. Mark McGrath, the singer from Sugar Ray. No way. It wasn't like Jack James McGrath James McGrath But I kept that thinking Mark McGrath And blah blah

He was a ranger or something And then he got caught by the cartels They ripped off all his fingernails He turned in his whole squad Under duress Yes And then he became You mean torture

Yes It's called a Colombian manicure That part bothered me a little bit That's wild But After the first five Go for the whole thing Colombian necktie

is they cut your throat Columbian manicure is what about a Colombian haircut is just a nice haircut Yeah I mean those guys That'd be nice They've got nice hair Yeah exactly

That necktide dude Not only do they cut your throat What makes a necktie tongue right through it But there are things Where Colombian means good Like Colombian cocaine is the best in the world

Columbia coffee Yeah yeah Very good coffee There's a lot they got So they call Rita And they're like Hey here's the deal We found the guy

Armando identified him we know what's going on. He's a fucking cop. Here's the lead blah blah blah blah blah and she's on the phone like uh-huh this sounds terrible uh-huh uh-huh and here's Ian Griffith just coming out dude him in this towel oh hello there babe

I have my shirt off and I'm wearing a towel are you speaking to one of the bad boys by any chance out of curiosity what do you think of my load velocity this time I just want no I'm not that I'm taking anything I'm just curious you had mentioned earlier that it was a week

a bit weak last time. We got the, we have a full load these days, but I know the velocities, the quickness. I got something, it has a lightning bolt on it, and I hope that does it. My love, is this a,

would you say bird shot or buckshot? Oh, neither? I guess I need to take more semenacs. What, nothing? Shooting up in the bathroom. And so right after Rita receives this information, don't we see Eric Dane talking to his guys and they're like,

look, we got to fucking lay a head on Martin Lawrence's house, And he says, we got to make it look like the cartel did it. So everybody, no English, everybody's got to be speaking Spanish. And here we go, thanks to ring security camera technology. We get this whole thing where they see what's going down. And he calls Martin Lawrence calls Reggie. And he's like, hey man, fucking suit up. People are coming in.

You got to do your thing. And we just get, I think, the coolest action scene of the movie. You don't even have to suit up, Reggie. All you got to do is kill a bunch of people. Would you please? Thank you. And he doesn't. It's great.

I feel like in the next movie, get this fucking Dorn guy out. Get Reggie in there, Ranger Reggie, dude. Why not? It is a cool sequence. It pays off like three movies worth of jokes, you know what I mean, basically. Right, yeah, because they've just been busting this dude's balls for 20 years. And now he finally gets to have his great moment here, which is pretty sweet. But I do love Martin Lawrence reacting to it, too.

He goes, chitty, chitty, bang, bang, motherfuckers! Screaming at the camera. And he's just murdered all these dudes. But unfortunately, Christine is not that lucky. We're driving to Christine's house, whatever. And Eric Dane rolls up in advance. Or, well, the, doesn't the niece gets to the house.

And she's like, oh, my mom's a psycho and what I forget why she's going there, who is this character? Who is this character? She is a granddaughter. Of who? Ray Seahorn's daughter, Joey Pant's granddaughter. Okay. Yeah.

She was at the wedding. Don't you remember the wedding? No. Oh, weird. There was a heart attack and distracted me. That's fair. That's fair. It was next to Joey Pants' picture. I mean, I'm sorry.

She has some bad lines during the toast when Martin Lawrence is like crying. His family's not working for me. Get him out of. Get him out of here. When Reggie, I do like when Reggie finishes the whole thing, though. He just looks up at the security camera, knowing that Martin Lawrence is watching and salutes it. Oh, it's pretty badass.

But, yeah, so he's got these two girls, Charlotte or Christine and the grander is like Cassie or something. You don't know. You don't even know. I just, I corrected myself, and it's Callie, so I remembered. No, you didn't. And it's like, we don't know what's going to happen. And then we piece together like, well, if Rita is the only

person that knew, she must have told that fucking, that boyfriend to her is that guy that's only been, that clearly is evil. So it's like, then they call, I think they call Rita again. It's like, listen, we think your boyfriend's evil. You have the lookout for that. And then Will Smith somehow gets some of the mission impossible technology. to call as his voice, right?

Doesn't this happen soon? Oh, yeah. So basically, they call, they deduce that they're like, look, the only person we told about this is Rita. And they both realize, Rita's not crooked,

she wouldn't do this. And Martin, I do like this, the way that this is written because Martin Lawrence just goes, damn, Rita's got bad taste in men. Yes.

Which is funny because she also used to date Mike Lowry, so that's a nice, like, two-sided joke right there is the idea. They have a Captain America elevator fight really quickly. which now this is some of the yeah she takes his phone away to see what he was texting to find out

that he's crooked some of this action is this where the kinetic camera doesn't work for me elevator up and down yeah not circle upside down unless you're establishing that this is a glass elevator like in a mall

like commando or something then I can understand or Charlie and the chocolate factory might as well take place in Charlie and the chocolate factory I do think I do agree like I just in general as a trend the 360 camera movement I'm not crazy

we overuse it whenever we do use it we tend to overuse it I like it as a way of showing space and like keeping it kinetic but I do think we overuse it in this movie for sure we we use the slow version way too much in Nasferatu I would say there's versions that got me

more than this does to be quite honest with you opposite here I think we just overdo it in either. That's what I love about ambulance is he's not just doing that. He's using it to actually add velocity, urgency to things, not just be like, here you go. I think this is the only time where it doesn't work as well as it does in the rest of the movie. I think any other time in this movie that they're using drone shit, it works for me. I like in the Fletcher scene, they use it somewhere else where I was like, you don't even need to do this, but like, it's

whatever. I'm not a big fan of the POV stuff in this one. Yeah, yeah. With the gun stuff, that's also not great. But like, again, And, like, you are at least keeping things active. I can't yell at you too much for that as a director, especially when this is the fourth fucking one of these. Right. So the elevator gets to the ground floor. When the door is open, there's Kelly and Dorn.

Because he, Ian Griffith is ready to fucking kill her right here. And they literally save this woman's life. And he's not officially arrested. He's just detained with the bad boys because they know at this point, like, they can't trust anybody. So they have this thing, yes. Where Rita, they're like hanging out by the docks or something. And Rita goes up and they have.

this long conversation and blah-b-b-bun, it's like very heartfelt and he's like, I just got caught up in it, it's all Eric Dane sweetheart, I had nothing to do with it, blah-b-b-b-b-b- and then like eventually it just sort of like cuts off and they're like, yeah, we got it, that's enough. And they've been making him talk for a long time to, yes, I guess, get

AI his voice. Every kind of sound that his voice could make. So Will Smith can make this Ethan Hunt phone call. Have him say, I could eat a piece for hours. Just say that over and over again. Well, I could eat a peach for hours. For hours. Four hours.

No, I didn't take Cemen X. No, I didn't take Cemen X. Just tell me, because I noticed it was thicker. It was thicker. It was noticeably thicker, you son of a bit. It's a lot of milk. But yes, it's just us.

So here's the whole plan, because Eric Dane has also said, by the way, if you turn over your son, will turn over your wife and the little grand durter here. So off we go for the final big blowout of the movie. Gator Lair. Dude, this Gator Lair, oh, this fucking abandoned swamp amusement park.

So the call is, yeah, we're going to evacuate the hostages. We're coming in a plane. We're going to Cuba or something. We're going to level another favela. Yes. Well, yeah, it's like, oh, we've got to move the hostages. We're going south. We're going to Cuba.

Get everything ready. I'd be like, oh, and no guns allowed, by the way. Just an FYI. Just put all your guns and just hide those. Let's pretend that we've all given up. You know what? They'll never see it coming. We just pretend like we're giving up.

We get like a little bit of backstory on this alligator ranch, which is fine. Right. The giant albino alligator named Duke. It like went missing. It might be still there. Don't worry. We'll see him soon. It's so dumb because it's like if this gator came out the water like he does and eats Ian Griffith like he does at the end of this.

Like it would still be awesome. Yes. And they would actually, one might. argue it would be more awesome if I didn't know that old hickory or whatever this thing is is still floating around. You know what I mean? Like give me a little bit of surprise. Just tell me, yeah, it's a fucking gator. Yes, exactly. I know there's gators of it. But we see another non-albino gator coming towards Armand here. And I'll tell you, what, once I know that Ian Griffith didn't fucking die in the plane crash, I'm like, oh, well, an alligator's going to eat them.

That's just very clearly. He's straight up a captain hook that motherfucker. Hell yeah. Come on. Hell yeah. But, yeah, it's a fun enough action sequence. I'm not crazy about the 360 shit. I'm certainly not crazy about the POV stuff. The POV, it's kind of whatever. Like, I never watched that hardcore Henry. And this is like, eh.

The one thing I do think is kind of cool is at least they're, the cool move with Will Smith, where they're switching the perspective on it at least. So you're seeing it's different a little bit. Yeah, sure. Right. Yeah. It switches its perspective by?

no it's oh no freeze oh please i know i know it's just because they think it looks cool it's so much of the cinematography is it is one of those things yeah which is bad it's the it's the fucking question that's gonna haunt me for my whole life was like what did that bat girl movie look like what was going on in that bad girl movie well you'll never know you'll literally never know i mean it's all lies about it being bad dude i mean there was the the answer is there was nothing wrong with yes oh no because i'm not even talking about the badness i was just curious what it was. Oh, oh, oh.

How did their action sequence? Because, I mean, all this is gun stuff. Like, none of this is really like fighting choreography. So I'm kind of curious what that would look like in a back. I am very, I would have, I would, hell, I would still like to see it if they want to let it out. I just read, because they directed that. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. I had, I totally forgot about that. Oh, that's what. Okay. I didn't, I was like, I guess Steve. Still harping on that back girl movie. No, I forgot about that. Is this a different studio?

Yes. It would have been, yeah. Because the back girl would have been Warner Brothers. This is Sony. Oh, interesting. So maybe Daddy's Az would have deleted this one. Oh, yeah.

Daddy's ass. I love him. Oh, Big Daddy's ass coming down. I think he's misunderstood. Oh, my. I'm sure. I do like the Martin Lawrence line when the big, the prop of the gator swings down or whatever.

And he calls it a, what do you say? He's like, this is a hillbilly Jurassic Park. I think is what he calls it? We do get the end of the panic attack horse shit here Because he's got a shot on Eric Dane Oh, right He won't Take the shot, Mike, take the shot

Was this 15 minutes long? It just felt or just 4M It feels like 50 minutes It feels like it for sure I don't have it I don't have the shot But he gets a Meanwhile your son is dying

Your son is dying But you also the only way to get out of this Is he gets a goodwill hunting From Joe Pentleiano It's not your form It's not your form come on it's not even though if it was a force ghost showing up it's just weird that he's sitting in the exact same spot as martin lawrence and then i started thinking about the end of ghost

he should have been possessed and that's i was like is joey pants inside martin lawrence right now but just like much like at the end of ghost when patrick suzzy goes inside wippy goldberg you see it's patrick suzian to me more in the scene yeah is it actually you know that would be amazing right dressed by or dude possessed by your boss that's a lifetime movie I'd do a shot of Martin Lawrence talking and it's Joey pants coming out of his fucking mouth. Oh, dude.

That'd be something, huh? You're pretty cool? Oh, man. Yeah, so he's like, I need that nasty Mike Lowry, you know, whatever. So he goes out, he's shooting the shit out of people is what he needs him to get done here.

Meanwhile, our good friend, Armando, saves Cali by... Who? Zizzik or whatever that other guy is. the number two big, beefy dudes. Lins. They get in a big fight. Yes. And she's at first terrified of both of them, obviously,

because a dude killed her grandfather. Sure. Yeah, you know what's good reason. I'd remember him. It's annoying to me, and it was annoying to me the first time I watched it, too, that the screenplay pairs everybody off appropriately with who they have to pay off. They have to be paired off with to have, like, whatever appropriate closure, you know what I mean?

So it's like, okay, like, he killed you. your grandfather, you go with him over here. Now, Will Smith, like, Eric Dane's got your wife, you go over to him. Rita, your fucking scusbo boyfriend, he was the leader of the whole thing, go get him. And then Martin Lawrence just kind of left and fuck around

him. We forget about him. But yeah, so, like, he saves her, they're like kind of on the run together. The alligator stuff's pretty fun. Yeah. They fall into the alligator tank. The bad boys do and Martin Lawrence tries to do a little, like, philosophizing with

He's just, like, put his hand down. He's trying to do woo saw stuff, exactly. He gets bitten by it, right? Yes. That is very funny. Which is, I mean, I just had a... That's taken out of the movie, yeah. I'm, yeah, okay, I had a heart attack yesterday,

and now I'm bitten by an alligator. I need... It's actually making me stronger. I don't know how, but I've actually... I feel my muscles vibrating. What's in those skittles, man? You're fucking unstoppable. Well, you should try them, go buy them.

They are an excellent product as well as Doritos. Yeah, these are the new skittles with meth in them. Oh. You tried Coca-Cola as well. Very good. So he killed, Mike Lowry kills one of the gators, but not the big one,

I guess, right? It's the same what? He just gets him in the eye. He like stabs it with a pipe. Is it dead or not? No, he just gets Ian Griffith in a few minutes. Yes, that's right.

That's right. I do like it, though, because it's an albino alligator and he's like, that alligator's fucking racist, Mike. No what? It learns its lesson.

It gets stabbed in the eye. Then it eats Ian Griffin. And then it eats a British guy. or Welsh guy. And Dorn gets shot. Dorn does get shot. Dorn gets a nice moment where he drops a fucking bomb on that sniper

via the drone. That was kind of cool. That's where he kills like half the team. A lot of people are blown to spend. I think that's probably where the hacker might get it. But yeah, so the thing with Rita kicking him into the gator pit, like I get it, of course, but like this dude is the thing that ties

the case together. Yes. He kind of in a way. It's like, wouldn't you want this guy alive to testify you just kicked him into the gator probably we've killed all the people involved with it i don't know if we have a case anymore that's the thing it's like no no we just killed 50 people and that means our boss was innocent like what these dental records will tell you that our boss was innocent i mean prove otherwise prove otherwise that he's guilty go ahead uh Andy griffith is leaving on that plane first and then get shot down oh that's pretty by rita and then she kicks him and do an alligator He should just die in that plane crash, which is pretty great.

He must have had really weak loads for her to be so mad at him. It's very true. Doesn't our drunken pilot like eat shit in this whole thing? He does nothing. He's surviving. That guy was just taking a paid charter. He's working with the good guys. Exactly.

Well, that's, I mean, it sounds like it goes against logic, but he actually had really strong loads. So he dies in it because he had a full life and he felt the rush and the passion and all that while as Ian Griffith. Pull up, pull up. I can't below you, too fool. They're not going to anchor on the plane. When he crashes and dies, he's like an android in the alien franchise, just bleeding calm everywhere.

So, you know, everybody's pretty much dead here. Eric Dane takes Christine out to the beach, where at least now two Bad Boys films have concluded. Yes. And he's, Martin Lawrence has also stumbled upon on this area because he recognizes the tree and the parrot from his dream with Joey Pan. It's Margaritaville.

He found it. Found a beach. The lost civilization of Margaritaville. And the problem here too is this is the first of two climaxes and this is the more important one because it has the bad boys in it. And the next one isn't because it doesn't have the bad boys. Yeah, yeah. That's correct.

And that's what kind of sucks about this movie is this happens first. And it's like, I mean, it's the stupidest thing. If I'm Eric Day and I'm like, no, no, I'm going to keep your wife hostage. I need a helicopter, I got to go out of here, blah, blah. He's like, no, you have to choose because I'm a super villain. I'm like, what do you care? You don't even know this guy.

You have no idea. This is your first time talking to him, and you're making them choose between his wife and his partner. No, you need to leave and escape and live. That's your job. Exactly. But yes, it is choose one of them. I do like Will Smith here. He's like, well, the thing, Mr. McGrath, you don't know, is that one of them can't die.

which sounds like he's about to start a monologue and a parlorist scene which is pretty great and he shoots Martin Lawrence in the like shoulder part of the vest so he bends over this was a funny call back to the whole can't die thing I enjoyed this part yeah and then he shoots the ever loving shit

out of Eric Dane he gets roasted and like you know and again like there's a funny back and forth come on Mike you're I can't believe you shot me we're doing a little speed stuff but it's funny and like this is just roll the credits I mean literally that's the end of the movie for me because the bad boys are safe i mean that's literally the end

of the first bad boys but they're doing that it's a leone and him being but guys the fast and furious movies end with cookouts yeah but we have to go right and don't forget scenes deleted ray seahorn has to have her moment oh god which is the second climax of the movie so she has to go uh she finds armando and callie callie now likes armando because he's easy of your life and she's like Cali get out of the way get out of the way I'm going to shoot this guy and like basically Mike has to come out again and be like you don't want to do

this Kelly and right look we have this whole like it just like nobody cared about this moment nobody cared about this no I don't know no one cares about these characters but that's how they sold on this fucking Seahorn got sold this role sure but then she's just like go before

I change my mind she got sold on the movie by hey Ray Seahorn you want to be in the fourth bad boys movie? Yes. How much money is it? Yeah. Kuching.

Oh, and Doritos and Skittles. Half my entire better call Saul salary for one movie. Exactly. And then we do this thing where, you know, Mike takes the son. It's like, here's, I don't even know, like, a wallet or something like that'll get you down to, just keep going south. I know what to do, Dad. Going to Cuba.

Go to Cuba. He's off. You're right. These scenes should have been flipped. Absolutely. It's very dumb. but then, you know, I guess timing was, like, how does it, I don't know,

it is, they should have figured it out better because the fact that we then have to go to the standoff, which nobody really cares about. We've already had a stand. This is Return of the King over here. Exactly. But then, but then it's funny because then we go back to the beach and everybody's injured at the beach and we're having that. And then, and then

I'm like, all right. Well, now, you know, there's ambulances on the scene. Like, a lot of diehard movies end this way. Maybe the credits are coming down. Wait for the helicopter shots. Did you take it out of here? Because on the beach is where the second movie ends. So this has got to be its own movie.

And we are ending in a park. We're having a big family barbecue and Martin Lawrence and Will Smith are Dick waggling over who's going to be doing the grilling. More similar, thinking of Martin Lawrence, more similar to the ending of nothing to lose. Great movie. Quite a good movie where Tim Robbins comes to his public park cookout at the end. It's very nice. It's a very sweet little moment.

But so they waggle for a little bit. And then Reggie comes up and he's like, I would instead. like to cook my chicken, sirs. And they kind of treat him like shit for a second. And then it is kind of funny. They're like, oh, remember what the fuck? He killed 15 people in your house, man. You can do all the chicken grilling you want, Reggie.

Here you go. And, you know, something about the final thing you actually see is Reggie just smiling at the camera. It's not the final thing to see it. No, it's the donkey. Okay. If anyone in their right mind left the theater when I did, you could have excused seeing this donkey stinger.

I mean, you must have ejected immediately because the sticker is like 40 seconds. It's like... Wait, no, it's at the very end. It's at the very end of the credits. Oh, yes, I guess it is. You're right. You're right. Yeah. I remember exactly what was going on.

I was like, I was like cleaning up the house. I was like, let this. I'll just let the credits fly. Because you told me that fast forwarded it. I did not expect there to be one. And I was just for the first time ever I let the credits roll on a, you know, on a movie for the show. I, uh, I missed it.

I remember specifically why I missed it in theaters was because there was something else I had to do that afternoon and I had fucked up like the time and I was like looking at like oh no it's this I gotta be down down here oh and I couldn't I bounced and man I'm glad I didn't stick around but it's so dumb we already talked about it doesn't matter that's the end of bad boys ride or die go around the horn for some probably very different final thoughts Eric Siskin oh the just the very lightest of recommends to almost not I think it's a huge improvement over the last one. I do love their dynamic. I think there's a lot of fun to be had here. I do think some of the action is a little overboiled. But, you know, I kind of like that it felt more like almost a generic action movie, which is the type of stuff I do like where it's like, yeah, here's the crooked politician guy that you're going to kick into an alligator, absolutely. So there is stuff to like here, but it's not a full-throated recommend. Chris Cabin. Yeah, I recommend it. It's definitely I think it's the second best of the bunch

after two and I think it's about as good as one one I just I really have to reiterate I just find it so boring that movie other than Checky Cario Taya Leone Not really I like again like Chuck Cario is the villain's a great idea

but like this one I actually I want to echo what Eric said it's the it's that we learn to get back to basics a little bit here like yes way too many characters We're almost making an Altman film here, and I don't need that. But I do like, like, the fucking lair is an alligator farm.

Fucking Eric Dane's like an old, like, he went crazy because the cartels got him. Like, all this stuff is silly and stupid, and they're not, like, trying to hide that. It's just very openly silly and stupid. I prefer that that's entertaining to me. Not the biggest recommend I've ever given, but a fun time for me. A fun time of the movie. Steve's saying that. It's not a recommend.

And I certainly enjoy it better than the third movie. I enjoy Martin Lawrence. His verve here is very funny. I just, the plot didn't work for me. But I also think, like, in watching this movie, I do think that a deal in Bilal have a good movie. You know what I mean?

It's not here. It's probably not that back girl movie, but like, I think if they believed in a property and like really were able to stretch and like, not just stretch, actually, like, hone in. some of that stuff rain in some of their impulses. They might have a fun action movie in them. I love the beekeeper, but this was just not for me.

And I much prefer the first bad boys movie, and I'm good with that. See it. It's a big recommend for me. I had fun both times I watched it. I don't think all the filmmaking flourishes work, but it's interesting. I mean, to what you were saying, Steve, I think we are seeing, like, really competent action directors finding their way, and I find that interesting to sort of chart. And yeah, it is a back-to-basics bad boys movie.

And it's fun and stupid. And, like, the biggest flaw with the third one is that it has the audacity to be a super self-serious movie. And then there's an active witch in it cast on space. That is a problem. This knows it's dumb and the tone acts appropriately. And I think that's why I just reacted to it better. So I would say go see it. But that is going to do it for our month filled with movies that we have seen in the previous year, which was somehow 2024.

for but in 2025 the show will continue if you want more we hate movies check out the Patreon where you can catch all of our new we hate movies episodes ad free at the $8 level or above we had a lot of great stuff coming out this month like a really great gleepe glossary on Princess Leia's personal assistants

winter of course and yes and also on the WLM this month we talked about Furiosa a Mad Max saga hell yeah now there's an action movie is that an underseen action masterpiece I'd say yeah and we were also going a little bit long on

Batman Caped Crusader on Animation Damnation. Great cartoon with Hamish Link Ladder is Batman. Love that. We did a little Melro 210 that we get some fun, we're having some fun with some gambling. Some gambling, some Jim Walsh sex trances.

Yes. Oh my God, this 90210 and Melrose plays doubleheader that we just hit was a ton of fun. Definitely check out that episode. Real wild stuff. And you know, we got the Nexus coming out. We have yet to record that. But I believe we're doing the TNG where the Enterprise accidentally kills this big space monster thing. And, uh-oh, it's left behind a baby space monster thing that then starts thinking the Enterprise at its mother and starts suckling at the teat of a starship.

I like that. Get ready to get stupid. Get this thing off my teats. I'm sucking my teats. If you are listening to this the week it comes out this Thursday, 9 p.m. Eastern, Moma.com. we are doing a full episode on Ghostbusters Af Frozen Empire. There it is.

I've been doing that for the last like three weeks. Frozen Empire is a terrible subtitle. It is but you know it's after afterlife that's why you thought of it that way. And also do not forget our European listeners you are not forgotten. That almost sounded solemn. But no no no. We are

going to Europe okay and yes we're not going all over Europe. We're only doing a residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival, six shows in July. Look it up. Check it out. Hey, I'm crossing a fucking ocean. You can cross the channel. Come on. You get out of the

shuttle. Come on. Yeah, please. It's going to be a blast. We're really excited for that. Tickets for all the residency stuff and the Ghostbusters Frozen Empire show. Of course, available at w.mpodcast.com. Click on the tour page. We'll link you to everything you need to know about getting them ticks, which you're not going to want to forget to do, folks. So that

is going to do it for, like I said, our last year's movie month. We're continuing into February, Steve, next Tuesday. There's a brand spanking new episode of We Hate Movies on... Uh-uh, uh-oh, it's a secret new theme month. Uh-oh. Wait, what? That's correct, Eric.

It's wait what, you worry? That's right. Because it is... Every single movie will have a stupid fucking twist in it. That's right. So we are starting with the granddaddy of the mall. We've been teasing this one for a long time. 15 years, practically, yeah.

The movie Identity. come on down identity you've been called and you know because at the end of that movie you're going to go wait what exactly that's the idea for the month that's right but yeah this is a movie I saw in theaters

and owned and watched repeatedly on DVD oh boy that sucks shit man so until next week with my personal failure identity I've been Andrew Juppin Steven said Eric Siskin Chris Kavan

Take it easy You know, I don't know.