We Hate Movies - S15 Ep789: 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

“Well, shit, this one just straight-up broke the four of us…” - Andrew On this week’s episode, Listener Request Month kicks our ass as we’re forced to watch and talk about the dreadful hitman comedy, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag! How awful are all the attempts at joke writing in this script? How many cross-country flights is Joe Pesci taking in this movie? Who wanted to be here less, Pesci or David Spade? And how dare they show the grandmother in a body cast at the end, that woman is dead! PLUS: No way this laundry woman is wrapping that head, folks!  8 Heads in a Duffle Bag stars Joe Pesci, Andy Comeau, Kristy Swanson, George Hamilton, Dyan Cannon, Todd Louiso, Anthony Mangano, Joe Basile, Ernestine Mercer, Frank Roman, Howard George, and David Spade as Ernie; directed by Tom Schulman. This episode is brought to you in part by Factor! Eat smart with Factor. Get started at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That’s code FACTORPODCAST at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on We Hate Movies. Well, shit, this one just straight up broke the four of us. It's eight heads in a duffel bag. I'm Andrew Juppin. I'm Mr. Headman, Steven Zadak. What in the world? Eric Siska, hello. Hi, a big step here.

Nice to see everyone. I'm so glad we got Mr. Head for this one. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone in to the find out of the fine for the fine program as always. That's right. This week on the show, The listener request month continues with a conversation to all about 1997's eight heads and a duffel bag. Oh, hey! What you're doing to me here? You're giving me not a movie

here. Oh, what are you doing? Making me look at this. This is it in a movie here? This might be the worst we've ever done. It's up there. This is giving me an adjutant to watch this movie. Gives me a adjutant to watch it. Oh, geez. As it should, even. Yeah, so this one was requested by Corey.

Let's just real quick take a listen to the call. see what he had to say about eight heads in a duffel bag Hey gang, this is Corey calling you from Seattle, Washington I'm calling to request the Joe Pesci comedy eight heads in a duffel bag This is actually a moment where I

Just today watched the movie It's not funny at all But I thought actually considering Joe Pesci's involved It might make for a good episode So I wanted to request that So yeah Is there a sound ordinance in Seattle?

Do they not allow you to speak above a certain level? No, because you don't want to be caught requesting eight heads in the duffles. I see. I see. That's what it is. They're calling from the attic, dude, at 3 o'clock in the morning. I don't want anyone to know, eight heads in a duffel bag. The cops are here.

The cops are here. They're looking for me. And I told him, I told him I was going to request a better movie. I told him I was going to do Home Alone too. I said I was going to do it. You're lucky that it's all anonymous phone calls, dude, because I would post your name and address if I could. That's right.

Fully docks you. But what's funny is, uh, some of us here, it was not the first go-round with this movie. I've seen that this is probably my fourth go-around with eight heads of them. Holy smokes. You beat me,

you beat me, Chris. You got more than that? No, no. I'm like exactly at that because I think we, we talked about this when we got this one in that. it was on TNT and TBS all the time, but I was never, I don't know about you, Eric, but I never saw it from beginning to end. I always came in at some point in it. And I, therefore, I, in my brain, I was like, oh, the whole movie is them all in the van, like, trying to make it somewhere with the heads. And that's not true. That's towards the end. That's like the last 20 minutes of the movie.

Little Miss Head Shine is what you thought I was. Yes, I did. I did. I saw this. I saw this. I saw. I saw. start to finish before, but that was in the 90s and I was a dumb kid. I thought there was more to this movie. I never liked this movie, but I saw it a few times when it was just on TV and I wish it didn't exist. Hey, you can't be a hitman if you're

colorblind, okay? All right? You could have been forgiven for at least not doing that. Because like, what? You would assume that they're trying to make the main character someone you like, right? You would assume that would be the assumption right out the gate. And they just don't do that.

They're like, well, how about we don't do that? Why don't we make him kind of a dweeb that you don't care about and don't know much about who just kind of keeps on fucking up all the time? Yeah. I've never seen this movie before that I made a mistake. We recorded this on a Monday and like I wanted the weekend to myself. So I was like, I want to record this on a Friday. And then kind of all day, I was like, shit, I don't remember a thing about this movie.

So I ended up watching it again just. Oh, no. Five minutes ago. Welcome to the club. So I've seen it now twice. which is a huge mistake. But I avoided this in the 90s which is kind of surprising for me

because I was such a, like, I love Tarantino knockoffs. That's what I was doing on the weekend. What bullshit hit man movie am I going to watch this week? And for some reason, I guess it was the rancid reviews and the sort of like shitty cast of it all, but I totally avoided this. I've never seen it until.

God, boy, first of all, I'll say, I had never seen this before. This will officially be a fucking one and done. but man Steve the stretch that you're doing to say that this is a Tarantino knockoff like yeah there are Tarantino knockoff spitting on the floor

right now that you just said that about this movie two days in the valley is like excuse me oh yeah exactly and that but that's just the point is that like they certainly sold this as a Tarantino knockoff that's 100% sure what they ended up giving you was like

more of a French farce almost like yeah you're waiting for the fucking butler to be shocked and then shut the door and then the other guy comes out with a fucking head, like juggling a fucking severed head. And then he's like, oh, sock lay blur. That would

be better. Exactly. You kind of need to go broader with this. By the way, the zero charisma star, Andy Como, is that right? Yeah, that's right. He shot to fame. You know, you guys see what he was, what his big, one of its first major roles was? No idea. Do it, dude. I read this.

Weird Al Yankovics, Gump. He plays Fars Gump, and people were like, oh, he looks so much like Tom Hanks. So I think that's, they were like, oh, yes, yes, a farcical, yes, because this is, I can see this, right? Like, because it's a, it's a pathetically written farce kind of a deal. You can see this being like, oh, yeah, it's like his bachelor party kind of movie or whatever. And like, man, I, you know, Joe Pesci got the bags mixed up at the airport with the fucking duffel bag full of the head. I think the script department got the scripts mixed up somewhere

the fucking jokes went to one production company and the rest of the script went Like there's nothing There's not like here's the thing It's not like you can say It's this is what's worse I'd rather it was a movie That was advertised as a comedy

Where there were no jokes in it Or very few jokes Instead what you have here Is joke after joke after joke And none of them are hitting It's like 96 minutes of people Desperately trying to be funny and no one's succeeding.

I disagree slightly, just because at least for the first half- You think there's some funny people in this? No, no, I think the first half hour is devoid of jokes, which is sort of insane for a comedy. Like, it's just, you know, it's first Pesci, he makes up the heads,

and then like the sort, I guess maybe some of the plane shenanigans are supposed to, like, oh, dude, you are supposed to be laughing your tits off and Joe Pesci's antics on that airplane. Absolutely. You are, you are. I just feel like in these movies,

like I just, you want a big joke to start, to be like this is the comedy right like totally and in that like if you're making it if you if you want this to be like a dark comedy and whatever the way that you do that i'm sorry joe pesci is there for these eight beheadings yeah you just you see that what you hear in the beginning it's you see this oryan logo by the way late period oryan that i think the polished job yes this put them in the this put him in the this put it in the grave i think this ended or i yes yeah this is it but and then you you cut to black after that

that title, that logo and then you just hear, ooh, ah, you scumbigs. And then like, you miss it. So what you're talking about, Steve, what I think was happening here is they were like, well,

we're paying for Pesci. The whole thing should just be like, boy, just the sight of Pesci should be funny enough. Like him walking into the room full of decapitated buys who's just been like, oh, what? And like that is supposed to be.

you're big him I'm telling you they thought you were going to fucking choke on laughs when he's in the car eating the fucking fried whatever and like yeah and that's not really a joke

it's just peshy doing peshy and like that's what they paid for I was even like is he challenged in this vote he's like do you love me do you love me

don't you love me Stephen no no no he doesn't give a fuck very clearly he's a check all the way out. He was making, what, gone fish in the same time as this. So maybe.

Guys, yeah, they both came out the same year. This is like, and by the way, follow up to casino this movie. Yeah, yeah. Oh, good. That's very good to hear. I mean, honestly, gone fishing, way more energy. So much more energy in that performance. It's a character.

It's an actual character. And what they want here, they want, they want Pesci of casino and they want Pesci of Goodfellas. He's called fucking Tommy in this movie for crying out loud. Yes, of course. But like putting that into like that's one Joe Pesci mode and the other Joe Pesci mode is the Hitch-Kitcher! Homo

Comedy guy but like he's never going to give you Mafia guy plus comedy guy and that's what this movie is sort of like putting its whole thesis. All the eggs are in the basket of Joe Pesci funny hitman and it's never going to happen. I mean you could do

it. You just need to give him a good script and give him a good cast to play against that's the thing it's the cast right because even gone fishing he's playing off danny glover that's a guy that knows how to act and and be in a movie and they're clearly friends to you know what i mean like whatever yeah this is like unknowns and then of you know george hamilton i would rather it be a buddy comedy with joe pashy and george hamilton you know and also uh uh what's her face diane canon who's awful in this movie but again because it's just like You just wrote a screaming character, and she's just playing crazy screamer the whole movie. But, like, they're both seasoned professionals here.

You know what I mean? Like, you can have both of them do something. The thing of it is, is, like, the eight heads are in the duffel bag in the beginning of the film. So that you, and then, like, it's all about that being the McGuffin, but not only that, but then everybody has to discover what they would do when they see eight heads in a duffel bag. and the only thing you really can do is scream as a you know what I mean as a person and then like then where do you go and the answer is nowhere you know what I mean like Diane Cannon they have to like gaslight into thinking she didn't see it you know what I mean like they're not even creative about what would be interested if you were if that was the point it's like oh we lost the bag oh god who has the bag now sure that'll be fun if it's a movie like you lose it on a movie set and they're like oh here are the decapitated heads for the fucking uh they're sacrifice scene, here we go. These are but it's just like him being like, like you said, like screaming

and screaming and then like everybody acting in ways that make no, like the whole Christy Swanson like I, something happened and we can't be together anymore. So I'm going to act like a dead fish for the first half of this at least.

Like it's just incredible. It's incredible that you made these decisions. It's incredible too that when she sees her boyfriend, this dude Charlie this fucking black hole of energy and charisma when he like pulls off the scam with Joe Pesci at the airport

at the end of this movie and she gets horny off of that. Good God. That is like it is like the rock bottom of character motivation. Oh my boyfriend just did this sad thing. Let's get horny. Well because at the beginning like he gets to Mexico. When he gets to Mexico she's like

I don't know why you came here. I actually didn't invite you and he's like wait what? It's like I wanted to break up with you. And then the eight heads of the duffel bag bring them together. Sure does. Such a way. And then by the end of it,

she's like, wow, you, I guess, saved my dad from prison, which you also caused. By the way, this is written directed by Tom Schulman.

Jesus. Who was a guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. He had moments. He was a writer, right? Yeah,

wrote Dead Poets Society, wrote Honey I Shruck the kids. Second site. Did we do second? What about Bob, baby? What about Bob? A comedy.

A comedy. that works oh my god oh you know who's in that thoughts chris comedians yes that's true that is true bill murray and richard i would love richard dryvis to be in this movie please i i mean i would want to hear him talk about this movie now no he'd be in this movie then would be nice that sounds good yeah so we start yeah it's just and it's just basically you know Tommy shows up to this warehouse these two mafia guys zero and zero here by the way Rico, what you're doing, Rico? No, you know what I mean?

Not even, usually it's like, oh, those are Sopranos actors. These guys did not get on Sopranos. Like very specifically. No, no, no, no. They tried. Oh, help them. They tried. I guarantee fucking T you these guys tried. With the thing of like, you know, we worked with Joe Pesci

once. Yes. Yeah. I mean, the mafia from law and order. That's where you get these guys. Oh, definitely. This is what they are. And they're basically like, oh, you know, I mean, like, I mean, like, I would even rather, again, watch them procure the eight bad guys and cut their heads off one at a time. Like, you know, A, that would take some time off. But you know what I mean? It's like, they're like, oh yeah, we just killed all these guys. We're two weeks late. One of them killed the Vic the Vikings mom by accident. So we had to go nuts on them. And Big Sep wants them all

back. They better be there tomorrow or else you're in trouble. 80 grand for 80 heads. I want to see the heads. I feel like that's pretty low for that kind of execution, eight bodies you got to get rid of and that's 10 grand a guy. And also quick, I mean, not to spoil the ending, but the ending title card of when we're, you know, it's kind of like a flash forward. It's just Joe Pesci with a bad wig on a beach. Like, hey, hey, I did it. I'm like, where did he get money from?

Where did what? How did he retire after this with all this money? Because he, you are led to believe he's successfully pulls off this job and gets paid for it because he he mentions once in the once once once once 57 minutes into this 96 minute movie he's like you know i was supposed to finish this job and then retire someplace warm and i'm like oh wow a character motivation with 23 minutes left in the movie how about that screenplay you piece of shit the only thing that was even keeping me together during this whole movie was silently imagining that this is actually what

his character did before the end in the Irishman. This is the level of shit he had to do and he was, this is what he handed over to Frank was they had in the duffel bag situations. I'll go to him. Also, I guess because you realize there was no character here and there's no comedy, he's like, I guess,

give me stupid teeth. Is that going to do anything for somebody? Not really. What, does he have fake teeth? He does. He's got crooked teeth and a gap. Oh, I just figured those were Joe Pesci's teeth. No, no. So we get to Newark International.

I love seeing a familiar airport sign. That's always kind of nice. He gets on this plane and this whole thing, you know, whatever, this whole move where like he's got this little pistol and he dumps it into the pocket of the woman in front of him at the metal detector so that she can get

she gets pulled over and detained. They find the gun there's a big hullabaloo. And he can kick this huge hockey equipment-sized duffel bag through this metal detector and not have it go across the belt and no one's the wiser whatever you say pre-9-11 or no whatever you say just the whole airplane angle of this movie we have multiple flights it's just it would have been better as a road movie yes your little miss on time Joe peshy takes if I'm counting it three different cross-country flights in this movie yes it within like a day I'd be like

He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat. I mean, I guess he sleeps on the flight, but Christ, he goes from Newark to San Diego, then San Diego to Baltimore, yuck. Yep, yep. And then back to fucking San Diego and then down to fucking Mexico. The commuting alone in this movie. It's planes, trans, and automobiles if John Kennedy was like a vicious hitman.

I would love, listen, my wife is dead, okay? This is what I do. Nobody likes me. I don't, but I like me, okay? I know I'm a tiny guy with weird teeth But I like me What'd you do with the car? What'd you do with it?

Remember last night When we were driving down the highway In the dead of 2 a.m. And you looked over at me And you thought I was the devil driving the car laughing etches That was fun Also weirdly

I mean this movie doesn't I think at the end Like the last movement When Charlie rents the car and is going to bring the heads to the, whatever, the U.S. border. It's like, that's what I'm going to do to get your dad into prison. I'll take the rap or whatever. He finally is like, whoa, these stink.

I'm like, the second, they're smelling on the plane. They're smelling on the plane. They're smelling in the car. They're always smelling. And it's getting worse. And these heads do not look as good when Pesci lines them up. They're falling apart. You know what it is?

It's hot out, baby. It's hot out. They'd be goopy. You know, your point about smelling that you could find jokes there. There's dogs at the airport that are sniffing. You could find a way to get out of that situation. You could have added so much more to this. You know what did this 100 times better?

And man, no one's ever said this about this movie doing anything better than anything else. We get at Bernie's two. The entire, the entire fucking ordeal of taking dead body parts on an airplane is done better. and dare I say more realistically in the second weekend of Bernie's. A much better film on all levels. My kingdom of Four weekend at Bernie's too. My God, I'd give anything

to watch that over this. So he gets on the plane with the bag and here's our fucking piece of shit Charlie. There's seatmates. Pesci's instantly making a scene because he's trying to put again this hockey equipment sized duffel bag in this tiny ass overhead

thing. He makes Charlie move his little here or my girl friend's parents' presence that he's bringing to Mexico. It's a whole ordeal. And then can I say just these presents, these presents being just out in the open, wrapped, just put them in a bag.

What are you doing? Just having open, you just haven't wrapped presents on an airplane. I would have to kill this guy. Loose gifts. I don't, I don't appreciate it. And like, loose gifts. I don't think that's right. And also like, I'm sorry. Like,

people are going to get on Pesch's fucking case before this all comes to the stewardess who comes there and is like a flight attendant like what is what is supposed to be added when the guy with the organ bag comes in is that supposed

to also be funny because he's not really the funny part is him kicking it that's it yes well they that's the thing is they do the joke with the presence move your presence blah blah blah and he gets into it with with Charlie for a second and then we do the exact, the exact same

thing. And it's not, it's not heightened in any way, other other than there's, or, it's like an EMT who's doing an organ transfer. And so that's what's heightened about it, I guess, is it's organs instead of presence, but it's the exact same joke and it's not funny either time. If I

see the fucking organs and like there's something like visceral about it, sure. Then that's upping it, but you're completely right. Like, we're just sitting here being like, what, you like any of this? The only line you get out of is after he kicks it and the EMT's like horrified. Pesci does have a three quarters of the way decent line where he goes, trust me, pal, I'm sure they didn't feel anything.

Sure. Which is, all right. To Chris's point, like if you have the organs fallout or something, this movie needs more violence. And to Steve's point, by like showing the beheading at the start, it would make it so all the other stuff would play a little better. Like throwing a grandma off a cliff. it just that seems just out of nowhere but if you were setting up kind of a more cartoonish violence

and really leaning into the dark comedy elements I think you would have had a little something more here it's a gray comedy it's not a black comedy it's gray because it's like we're talking about violence a lot we're saying about oh my God everyone's fainting over the grimness of the thing but it's so not this movie I mean I guess it was R

but it feels like it could be PG-13 so easily yeah well all you do is remove the profanity and you guys you got yourself a comfortably PG-13-related movie, because that's all that's there. To Chris's thing about it, if it was like a, you know, it does have that vibe of like a European sort of farce in one way or another, at least if that was the case, there'd be a fucking titty or two. You know what I mean?

So like, there's nothing here to make this like R-rated except for the hard language, which like take it or leave. It doesn't, it's not adding anything to the movie. Your point about nudity right there. It's like, this is a frat boy going on spring break and you would never. know that. No. Hi. Thank you so much. Can we have a titty or two for the table? Oh, yes. Two, two titties. Two titties. Yeah, two titties. Oh, wait, but it's a two titty. There's four of us. We have two orders of the two titties. Are they big? How big do they get? I mean, because

are we share, are we are sharing? So how, should we get a bigger order? A D. Double Ds for the table. Please, we'll be splitting it. Of course, they always fucking do this. They know we're splitting us. They gave us three titties. What are we supposed to do? Hi, welcome. to cannibals. Have you guys been here before? No, no, no. I said, I said D, not B, okay? You know what I said. You know what he said. Don't, don't cheat me out on three tities.

Also an obnoxious thing here. And this is where I side with Pesci, this last moment on the plate. Oh, I know where you're going. So Pesci, you know, he gets the disgusting airline blanket and the disgusting airline pillow and he's trying to sleep.

They forced him to check the bag. They force him to check the He tries to bribe the flight attendant, which could have been a back and forth with comedy, but it's not. It's just, it's a lot. This is like a, this movie's doing a lot of like no butt to every line of dialogue that comes to. Yes.

But it's also like you get, like this is, like him bribing the flight attendant right here is like the, you want the mafia persona to tell jokes, but you're just giving it mafia persona stuff because he just tries to bribe her with a fucking hondo. and she's like, are you trying to bribe me? And he's just like, no, I'm trying to pay to check my bag.

And I'm like, that's just the thing you would say in a mafia movie. That's not a joke. And that's the end of that little comedic moment. There's no payoff to any of these setups. So anyway, the thing, the last bit here is he's trying to sleep and this asshole kid is talking to him. And he's like, kid, I'm trying to sleep. Like, leave me the fuck alone. And this guy's like, hey, I'm just trying to make conversation.

I'd be like, hey, don't bother. Just let me fucking. Don't talk to people. I hate this. To quote the late great Gene Siskel, he brings zero to this movie. Eric watched it first. I watched it after the Siskel Dever. He's like, Andy Como just doesn't bring anything to the tape.

Exudes nothing off the screen. And he even says, he's like, there are so many good young actors working in Hollywood right now. I can't believe this is in the movie. And that's totally true. Like, imagine Norm MacDonald as this guy. Oh, you know, my girlfriend's parents are having me, sorry, I just kind of talked to you. Like, you're laughing already. You know what I mean?

Yes. Yeah, there's ways to do it. So you came in the room and thought that we were having sex, but what we were really doing was covering up these dirty decapitated heads under the, you know what I mean? Like you can totally see that happening. Well, apparently, Damon Williams was attached to this and dropped out weeks before production. So maybe they were scrambling to find someone that was available. But at that

point, just put fucking Spade as the lead then. No, gump guy. It's got to be gump guy. Gump guy. Why isn't it just Gump guy? Who really did just blow the socks off of somebody, I guess, because I don't see it. Whatever it is, I don't see it. And I'm not even a fan of this actor, but if you're going for guys that kind of look like Tom Hanks in the late

90s, get Tom Everett Scott in there. That's hard. I mean, like, he's at least kind of goofy. You know what I mean? And his career was right at the point we're doing horrible shit like this is completely acceptable and understandable. What's that dead man on campus? Yeah. Come on. This is in that world of like not good dark comedies of one kind or another. That's so true. I would settle for a

Lachlan Monroe. Oh, please. My kingdom for a Lachlan Monroe. You know, people usually don't say that. I thought one of the one of the Mafia dudes for a second was Lachlan Monroe at the movie. No such luck. Oh, no. If he was in. this movie, he would be above the title. Like, this would have been a Lockland Moreau movie. By the way, Spade gets the hammer here. That tells you

what the cast is like, and David Spade. Wow. Do you think, uh, do you think with like, if she saw the movie Diane Cannon and sees Spade get the hammer and she's like, you know, I was fucking married to Carrie Grant. Like, what? I've been nominated for Oscars.

Nobody, anybody noticed that? I mean, I know I'm a drunk in it, but come on. Sorry, I wasn't number two in Tommy Boy, but I was I am Alice and Bob and Ted and whatever at Alice. George Hamilton's like, you know, I was fucking, what's that

dude, Harrison in Godfather three just four little years ago. Yeah, you'd say I turned down being the fifth in fucking black sheep. So you know I'm on top. But yes, and also this is, you want to talk about something that drives me nuts.

No, ladies and gentlemen, know what your bag looks like. Know exactly what your bag looks like. Just how do you not know that? How do you not like? I mean, I always kind of like, you just know what your bag looks like. Yes.

And you get these people at the airport that just start grabbing it shit and then they look it and then they set it down back on the belt. They have to examine it. Like, how do you not know where your bag looks like? Here's a trick for folks at home. I did this with my bag because I think it looks a little similar to other bags. So I did a little electrical tape of yellow electrical tape on the handle. I'll never miss it again.

I see it immediately. Yeah, just little designators, like a key chain or, you know, whatever the fun. You know, I always forget which car is mine, so I put a little zip tie on the door handle, you understand. Oh, yeah. That's why Jim Cavizel keeps trying to stop you in parking lots. Yeah. I don't know, I'm just trying to remember which my car is. Might attract a bad crowd, Steve, just to, you know, just to let you know.

But, like, even watching this movie, I'm just like, I can't imagine. I, my empathy and sympathy hits a brick wall when you're fucking asking me, to feel for a person who doesn't know what their bag looks like. Yes, exactly. This is the simplest thing. And I just, while it was happening,

I was like, oh, that's what they're trying to, like, I just don't believe it. Like, Joe Pesci, you are making him

the most incompetent, like you are, to what I think Andrew would bring up early. Like, you are making him a little slow. You are making him out to be a little bit like, I don't get this character at all. This is,

that's the, that's the astounding thing, right? And the script gets this wrong. There's no world, in where Joe Pesci is the one that should be mixing up these bags. It has to be the kid.

Yes. Yes. Like there's no, like, this guy has this huge fucking mafia-related mission. He's already planted a gun on a woman to travel with these things. Like, he's in it. He would double check and make sure the bag was his.

It's astounding that they have to make this error. And the weight is got it for eight hits in a duffel bag has to be very specific. Like you know what that feels like when you pick it up. And when you pick it up and it's got clothes in it, you're like, oh, this is not my bag.

Well, maybe he is slow because he's not the guy doing the hits. He's the delivery. He's the delivery boy. Later on, there's a song in the movie, and they refer to him as Mr. Hitman. And he's not that. It would have been way better. Maybe it's a road trip, and he's collecting heads. Oh, that'd be nice.

You know? It's just insane that this movie is called what it is. Joe Pesci is the character that he is. And you don't see him, like, shoot a single person in this movie. No. No, no. He fires a gun a couple of times. He kills, I guess, a coyote at one point off screen. That's real funny. He homoerotically tortures David Spade for a little bit. Does I do it anything for you? Yes. Yes. Yeah, it actually is. He throws a grampi off a cliff. And that's the most violent scene. And it is, it doesn't play as violent either because it's it's like watching. You don't even see the dummy fall down. It's just like you see a lady get a fake lady get thrown. out of a car and it's like you could have you could have put a I don't know

like a button on that joke you know you could have shown me a little more and points off because at the end she's shown a body cast no she's dead sorry you fuck you it's eight heads in the duffel bag you have to kill somebody nope that was an insane thing to me because I was like if this

was a product of like a test screening reaction why did you bother because it's eight heads in a double bag no way no fucking way I don't like oh and whoever is listening to this and be like well guys it's supposed to be a comedy don't you know well i don't give a fuck it's not funny like if and i don't care about it the whole like oh well you know comedy is like that that's you know it's subjective you don't really know well i'm telling

you right now this fucking sucks and like what and fucking some fucking old lady getting killed was a little funny until you fucking put her in a cast that's not funny well tom yeah we got the cards back from the screening last night. We got out of, we've got 20 scrap-its. Just people saying scrap it. It's not an option. That's a right-in. It's scrap-it. There seems

to be a pressure on this one. They were like pressure towards the center and there's brown stuff on the... Oh, somebody wiped their ass with this. Someone took this and wiped their whole asshole with it. Okay. That's probably a bad. We're going to need to make some changes because

on six of the cards, My family was personally threatened. Those are my people. Go for you if you did that, a test screening for this fucking movie. So, yeah, we touched down in San Diego. Christy Swanson's like being standoffish, and it's a, hey, what's going on?

We'll talk about it later. Oh, after a six-hour drive to Mexico? No, no, no. We're going to talk about whatever it is right the fuck now. I'm not sitting in a car for six hours. Her character makes no sense. I mean, this is also sort of the end of her legitimate career before she goes

full VOD Not so crazy, right? Because like, it's like late 90s. Yeah, I forget what happens to her, but it's not good. By the way, George Hamilton gives me one legit laugh here. I know you're going. Oh, boy, look at this loser. Yes. Walking over. That's what I said when I started the movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But look at this loser is a really good line. Christy Swanson from the beginning, and like, I really hate this to see it. Like she's like, you know what, not going to be a character. Yes. That's, you know what? You're just going to have to, I'm going to come in.

I'm going to react in a way that doesn't really make any sense. Well, to her credit, to her credit, the movie's not being a movie. So why should I be a character? I mean, it's your job, but whatever. Big Daddy in 99, dude wears my car 2000. And I'm just skipping all the view, the director of video stuff she was already doing. And then it seems like she might have gone softcore, like something called forbidden secrets. That's what I was looking at

Boud by Lies Oh, the Stephen Baldwin one There's one with her and Baldwin That is fucking crazy And maybe that's what they both found Jesus On that movie? Are it secrets already forbidden? What are we doing?

This forbidden secrets movie Looks like it actually might be a lifetime movie Okay Because it's It says it's a 2005 TV movie It's 88 minutes long And it says In the midst of a divorce

From her controlling spouse Alexander moves back into her vacant family home where sudden strange events draw new light on an old family tragedy leading her to question her own memories about her past Oh boy

Now I wonder if this is soft-core pornography This movie from 2020 which I didn't see Anyone else watch Obamagate the movie? No I did not I missed it I missed it This looks like a better movie already I'm on the IMDB page

There's a director's cut or a normal someone's playing James Comey yes of course exposed the deep state plot to undermine the Trump candidacy and predacy and reveals the lies by the fake Russian collusion narrative okay wow he so he

oh so Dean Kade plays Peter Struck and she plays Lisa Page remember caring about Peter Strunk oh that was no nope those were the two FBI agents that had sexting to each other and then something something they were like they didn't like Trump they texted

they were like they were like I want to give you a blow job oh yeah baby suck my dick oh and then like the next day it's like do you see this Trump guy geez what a fool that's a scandal now that Trump's a real asshole by the way when you were eating my asshole last night you were just a little too much tooth

so just back off with that what was the movie what was the movie on the screen while we were doing that because I bet it's been killing me all day I've been trying to think I'm pretty sure that was bill Paxton right I'm I I had to be built back oh really how could you forget we were watching eight heads in a duffel bag while we're toothily eating ass which is what it feels like to watch this thing right yeah it feels like a crocodile is eating my ass while I'm trying to watch this movie don't even know if we can continue folks at home we're so let's see hang out we we will we're we're going to continue here. We met the parents.

All right. And we got the thing here about... We met the Fockers, yep. Yeah. Dude, I wish I was watching Meet the Fockers. Never thought I'd say that in my life. I didn't even say it when I went to see it. So, yeah, the whole thing here is like, uh-oh, she's got a drinking problem because she's like, oh boy, six hours in the car. I'm ready for a margarita.

The margaritas in this movie. Now, folks at home, they're supposed to be in Mexico, you see. And they're drinking these margaritas, which just looked like someone poured ecto cooler, into a cheap plastic cup. Every margarine in this movie looks like ecto cooler. And by the way, we are calling them

enchiladas. Anyone else got this? Antchaladas is an A for some reason? They're made with ants. I see. There's a breakout at the place. You know, there's ants everywhere. I do, Andrew, you said this over, well, actually,

Eric has already alluded to it to it, no but, and then Andrew alluded to it a little bit on our text. This is like a bad improv scene. It does kind of, it does, like especially once we get to Mexico and we're like kind of stuck in this hotel yes that's where it hit me yes it just shorts the wheels

fall off the movie and it is just sort of like I remember doing a bad improv scene like I was doing it was in a rehearsal or whatever like I was like oh this thing sucks and I just cut it and the guy who was like no sit down my bitch is like sit down you made a shit sandwich and now you have

to eat it and I remember like having to continue this scene and that's what this movie is it is the shit sandwich that somebody made that no one fucking called cut on. You know what I mean? You're waiting. You're waiting. And that shit sandwich is being served to you at a fine restaurant. It's fucking being put up a goddamn Orion. It's just amazing. It's just incredible to me that this was allowed. While we're meeting

the parents and just laughing our tits off about all that, Pesci realizes the problem and he's like calling to figure out what's going on. And he gets the phone number because he finds Charlie's manuscript that he's written in the duffel bag slide of mind baby yeah yes it's a detective novel that he's writing and he's very excited about

there was this thing in the 90s where we were like because that's like Charlie's character is like this guy that is perennelian college like you were pre-man then you were pre-law then you did this right and it's like how are you burdened through all this like I've never like I guess it's like a 90s boomery thing of just sort of like I'm in college. I'll just keep trying it until it works out.

I'm like, no, you got four years and then you're still crippled. Like, you know, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know how bad it was in the late 90s that you could still sort of bounce around and do this. Also, like, we don't know anything about this guy. So we don't know if he like comes from money and it's like fine that he's just like changing majors all the time and whatever. We just don't know. But so Pesci calls what turns out to be, I do not believe this, that this is. guys in a frat

with David Spade and the other guy to Jack Black in high fidelity okay frat what a rocking fucking frat house this place was I will say I like the actor Todd Louiso is his name yeah kind of disappeared after

high fidelity he's great that movie he's great and he's even fun in Jeremy McGuire for a hot minute like he's just he's a guy he's actually okayish in this I will say he tries his way too far They do. They take it. By the end of this movie, I needed this character to be shot in the head. Yes. You're sick of him. And it doesn't happen. Because he's the only one that actually, because Spade does not give a shit. You are barely getting good David Spade. This is the late 90s. I do like that he answers to the phone. Hi. My name is Gaddafi. That's kind of fun. Yeah. Very Spade kind of joke. I mean, yeah, it gets very spade. But at least there are jokes like, hey, Bill, tell me if this is the sound of a phone hanging up and hanging up on.

Pesci. That's pretty good. I do like when he later in the movie there's a good Spade thing where he comes in. Pesci's in the dorm room and he's got the gun to Steve, the Todd, whatever there. And he's like, oh, hey Steve, I was wondering if you had the

notes for, oh, never mind. And he does like the Abe Simpson like turning immediately around. It's pretty good. So he winds up there in Bethesda University, Joe Pesci again boards this flight to fucking Baltimore. Holy Christ. I'd be like I need two days. Hey, the mafia, I need two days.

I just took a cross-country flight. I'm not taking another one. But so he goes there and then we go to, we don't really understand. I guess they say at some point it's her father. It's George Hamilton's birthdays and he loves this resort. So that's where we're going. Right.

Yeah. There's a whole thing. I mean, it truly doesn't matter, but somewhere around here, Diane Cannon opens up the kids duffel bag and sees one of the heads. Yes. And this is the big, big freak and I was just like you're just having this like legendary actress debase herself

like this is embarrassing when she's having the freak out and she's screaming and she's like pathetically like chugging the airplane bottles of vodka oh man with the pills like it's just yeah and like I'm like so you just want her to do this the whole movie all right okay I guess that's how it's going to be again her character is now ruined sort of unless like she is someone like rational like I'm gonna go to the police and like they tie her up and like maybe that's sort of part of the narrative

but no the idea that like they keep bonking her on the head and she's screaming like an idiot that's it yeah thank you yeah Steve they do flirt with the idea that she might go tell the police and they bonk her on the head and then when she wakes up she's like oh did I fall asleep like very cartoon logic without being funny enough

to be a cartoon she walks down the stairs like the three of them are having lunch. This is the enchilada lunch in our ecto-cooler margaritas. And like she's supposed to meet them and she comes downstairs and she's got this sword ready to kill this

guy and the joke has to be like the fucking like attendant at the hotel is like oh man those are for decorations or whatever. I'll take the sword back. Thank you. That's fine. And you're supposed to be laughing at all this and then she like jumps across the table and tackles this guy and like Hamilton's

doing the whole like, oh, don't worry everybody this is totally normal they haven't seen each other in a while and like you realize like all of that is supposed to be very funny I suppose so I will say I think I figured out the antelada thing this man also wrote medicine man and as we know very important in the world of medicine man he might just have a thing for ants in general the whole seat like they take their time with that scene when she comes and meets them for lunch Like, you're down there for a while, and it's just the same joke. And, like, I love Diane Kim.

She's not a physical comedian. And, like, that's, like, that is what this is supposed to be, is a big physical, funny thing. And it's just like, you're cutting every fucking two seconds. So you don't build any momentum that way. And you're just like, what am I supposed to do with this? And then you come back, of course, to Joe Pesci, who is torturing the guys. And that goes, you would think they would have at least one good idea. and they don't. It's just the same

fucking like, oh, let's hang them upside down. Let's throw fucking shit at them. Who cares? I'm going to whip you with whip your little nipples with towels. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. It's, it ain't just a towel.

It's a wet towel, you see. And when this is happening, I do want, like, Spade and the other guy just be like, all right, who's going to suck this guy's dick to get us out of this? Yeah. You just totally. You know, it's small. I mean, it's fine. This could be an angle, right?

Like, you could make Joe Pesci a squeamish mafia guy. He doesn't want to actually torture them. So that's why he's hitting them with the wet towel. That's why he has the guy from high fidelity cut the heads off the bodies. Yeah, that's a good idea because all of this torture makes no sense. One of his biggest torture things is when he later on, like when they're on the phone and he's like pinching Todd's ear. And that's just that's the torture. No, man, I want to see a finger.

nail come off. Like, come on. Exactly. Like, cut a or even a finger. Like, again, we're talking about eight heads

are in a duffel bag. This is the torture in the movie. Like, no, he should be cutting fingers off. He should be like, I mean, again, doesn't be saw,

but like you can do a funny kind of finger. Oh, no, my fingers cut off. Blah, blah, give him a funny number two to do it then. Yes.

If you are so like, I don't want Joe Pesci to kill anyone, even though that's what he's known for. Like, it just doesn't make any goddamn sense. And I'm just sitting here,

like, this movie over with as soon as possible. You just hit on something that I think is totally right, Chris, and it just lends to the idea that they have no whoever made all the final calls, right? Like so many people

had to say yes, but they have no confidence in the core idea behind this script, which is that it's a hit man comedy. Like they don't want to have like they don't, they don't want you disliking Joe Pesci at

any point in this movie. Yes. Because he's Joe Pesci and it's like he can't do those things, but like that's what the character's there for. And you're certainly not liking Charlie. So like Pesci's your guy. Have him do the things that people pay tickets to go see Joe Pesci do, you know? Right around this time, rest in peace, George Armitage, gross point blank. Yeah. Bingo bingo. Bingo. Does this very, very well. Does most of this very well because you are. You're just like you buy into it. Actually, no, the hitman is the hero. He's the guy we're following and like this fucking splitting it and make me fucking choose between a no energy Joe Pesci and this Charlie guy. And like, it's just, it's a no-win situation.

So Diane Cannon's being sedated. George Hamilton is in Charlie's room to call his mother while they got, they have to like rent the car or something. And this is when Charlie discovers the eight heads of the duffel bag. and he starts screaming. And to the point about Diane Cannon not being a physical comedian fucking Andy Como also cannot do physical comedy

and they are trying to get blood from a stone with that in this movie. This scene is a great example of it because the whole gag is like George Hamilton is in the front of the frame he's at the foot of the bed on the phone. This guy is in the background opening the duffel bag for the first time

and you're supposed to see all the goofy reactions to it. And he's, like, putting his leg up on the dresser and, like, moving his arms all over the place. And I'm like, you're not fucking Michael Richards, dude. Like, tone it way, way down. Legit laugh from George Hamilton when he goes, oh, I meant ants. And then George Hamilton will lift his legs.

It was like, ants where? Which is kind of huge. That's pretty good. But, like, George Hamilton's like, what the fuck are you doing back there? And he's like, oh, I got a cramp in my leg. Like, it's that kind of. humor and I'm just like, my

God, every single joke in this movie is just DOA. And then the next, because this is the thing, we have to watch everybody react to the eight heads of the devil bag. Then it's Chris Swanson's turn. And she's fainting and screaming. And we're reusing a joke for her because

he screams a fucking third time and the, the hotel guy comes in and he's like, oh, I ate a hot pepper. And then Christy Swanson comes in, sees the heads, screams, dude comes back in. Oh, she also ate a hot pepper. And this is where I was like, all this, it feels like a bad improv scene.

Like, nobody knows how to move it fucking forward. We can't, we can't, for the life of us, leave this hotel room. We just keep going further into it. It's just first of the hotel room for ages. And then you're just in this closet for ages, and it's terrible. Yes. And if I lay blue, sockle blue. If I do the hot pepper thing, maybe it'll be funny this time.

Let me the third time it'll work. Yes, exactly. Sochleet blue means an open door farce. That means there's multiple doors being open. It's just the one. It's just this one room. Yeah, that's true. This bellhop guy comes in and he's got his hand over her mouth, stopping her from speaking, making her head nod, saying, I'm all right.

And he's just like, yeah, that's fine. Ola, police, yeah. Like, dude, what the fuck? Like, the fact that this guy sees that going, like, in essence, maybe a smothering, a strangling. Who the fuck? And this dude, like, doesn't. call the cops he's just like my oh Dios meo and closes

the door no way look look we have a lot we have a rich clientele here they're going to kill their wives occasionally you know oh it's the white lotus Mexico got it just you got to do it sometimes this movie has two jokes one is

there are actually eight heads inside of a duffel bag and that's the time what are you kidding what the other The other of a joke is Mexico is subhuman. That's the other. Are you kidding? I'm telling you.

And here's the thing. Here's the thing. It's not like it's used for jokes, right? But the screenplay is not joking when it in all seriousness refers to the country of Mexico as a third world country repeatedly in this movie. it's acting like you are like way the fuck somewhere that is not Mexico dude and it's like did anybody stop and inform this person as to what a third world country actually means well because she's like we should call the police and I do understand that his thing is like I don't want to get arrested I wouldn't want to get arrested in Mexico either you know what I mean like I don't you don't get arrested outside of your country you have less no but that doesn't make it a third world country it doesn't and that's sort of the problem and then like everything else that happens to them with the game and the whatever else and the crooked cops. It's just like it's way too much.

Like it's not. To that point like if there's a returning gang that keeps stealing your car, they have to be really funny. These guys are not bringing it either. No, because they weren't let in that this was a comedy. They were like

you're just playing some fucking bad umbraes in the desert that steal cars and they were like, all right. And they play it as such. They play it as fucking better call Saul fourth tier characters. There are straight up rape threats in this fucking scene when he's like, you ever hear of the Mexican

horny toad? Well, you upset it and it'll get you type of stuff. Oh, yeah, right. Hey man. They decide to bury the there's a dumb bit where he tries to put the heads of the garbage. He can't do that. He's like, well, we'll just bury it at night. And they try to bury it at night.

The dumpster scene. I mean, it's not much of a scene, but again, just this like this square peg round hole is anybody fucking laughing yet nonsense it's like him trying to dispose of this stuff in this dumpster and then like here's the hotelier again and he's like oh let me allot that for it and we have this this back and forth bullshit about what's compostable and we got to learn that the resort recycles and all this donkey shit it's like man like i know this movie's 96 minutes front two back like including uh credits and whatnot, but like

some things could have also just went. You could have just chalked this up to like, this is a fucking shitty 47 minute canceled pilot now because we removed so much dead weight from it. I just don't even know like what the jokes are just so flat. I mean, again, like the guy from Ted Poet Society

isn't exactly a rib tickler. I mean, I guess what about Bob is funny but you have Bill Murray there to elevate that stuff. I don't know. I just, I don't know where a lot of the time I don't, a lot of the scenes I don't know where the joke even is. You know what I mean? He's not much for violence. I don't think. I think that's the bigger thing because most of his other movies are much more like medicine

man. I mean, I'm sure there's some exciting scenes and sequences, but I don't think it's an action movie necessarily. Well, Elliot Lerade Blacco is pretty exciting. Sure. That's a big one. But he was a writer. This is the only movie he directed at this point. And then he was in movie jail until 2022 when he directed Double Down South. Yeah. Get Kim Coats. It's a Kim Coats. In the world of illegal, high stakes

gambling. Nick owns a rundown plantation house. He's enamored with the smart and tough and charming ace, Diana's intent to win big and is determined to stake her. And she is 30 years younger than him.

And it's hats. I mean, this sounds like a bad. This is something I could glom on to I you know like this is also just to put it out there about you know we're trying to like reference this dude's comedy shops such as they are I will just say that while he wrote the screenplay for what about Bob I looked it up and indeed fucking Alvin Sargent and Laura Ziskin two incredibly successful screenwriters and producers have the story credit on the movie well yeah so that dude just fucking filled in an assignment he also wrote welcome to moose

port he did oh and if if Gene Hackman decides to quit the business after your movie does it. You should also do that. I think everybody involved with Mooseport should have just been like, you know what? We're done here. We're going to all just fucking leave it. But I was looking too. Shulman, he's just

his first two movies are once an able Ferraro movie which is funny. But after that, he doesn't do violence. And I don't think he's very suited to it. I think that's a huge issue here is that it is not only is violence central to the movie, it's

central to the humor. I just don't think he has it. I don't think it's what he's good at. So they get back, so they're about to get raped in the Mexican desert by these hooligans. Right. By these raving gangs. And they

are saved by the Mexican police of all things. And they go back to the hotel and they get a call. He calls Stephen Ernie who are David Spade and Ton Luiso. And this is when Joe, Joe Pesci is about to kill them both. He's like, well, sorry, I got to kill you.

And then it's, who wouldn't you know? It's Charlie. And he explained, this is what they basically are like, hey, listen. By the way, one thing that has happened, which you haven't talked about, which is very stupid, is the maids came in and cleaned his room without against his wishes. And now a blind maid is washing and drying. You guessed it, a severed human head. Uh-huh. Yes.

And that had being delivered as if it's actual laundry. Who was that for? What a random person in the world was that for? Because in a wackier fucking Zucker Brothers kind of movie world. Sure. Right. Or like a Mel Brooks wacky kind of world. A blind person like wrapping up ahead and not knowing it's ahead and sending it out like laundry is a joke.

But like this movie world is not attuned to that level of. of whactacular. No, whactacularness. So, like, it does, you're like, there's no fucking way. There's no fucking way that this lady would hold this head and wrap it in paper. Just show it, like, show her, like, trying to fold it.

Yes, he's like, what? You know? That's a way to do it. Because right now she's, it's just in a dryer. He realizes she's blind. We do a lot of this, like, no, cleano, me, no espresso, no esk, no esk, you know, that, that bull horse shit. so he's doing that like she like sits on the thing by the way the Mel Brooks thing you're referencing Andrew that has Gene Hackman and Peter Boyle in it so that's a blind scene that's going to work

we're making funny jokes at the blinds expense he should probably have Gene Hackman in it and Peter Boyle cigars yeah that is my that's my favorite moment in the actual movie so it makes it my favorite moment in the Mel Brooks movie too I was going to make a espresso. Very good. But yeah, so, yeah, we did all this stuff with the desert. They steal the car, right? That's the only, did we say that?

Yeah, the very, very important. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Charlie finally calls the dorm room, right? So we've got, this is the scene where Pesci is like torturing what's his Todd there with flicking his ear and whatever. And this is where, I mean, again, I'm sorry, like way too long. into the movie before Charlie puts it together that Joe Pesh is

the guy from the plane and this is what's going on. You know what I mean? Like that all has to be like within the first 20 minutes of this movie. It's ridiculous that we get this far in. He hears Joe Pesci's voice on the phone from the dorm and he's like oh, I know you, you're the guy from the plane. I'm like

yep, that's, yep, you should have learned that 40 minutes ago. That is desperation. That is fucking try, like you have this little thing that could be a reveal with a capital fucking R and like they're like oh just we gotta hold it oh baby

the audience is going to be it was him oh my God it was the guy that was in the poster and everything oh my God and basically he's like meet me at San Diego Airport you better have my heads he reveals that oops we lost one of them

that's the one that the maid took so basically if I'm with my girlfriend's parents who don't like me and I have to go back to San Diego. I'm just like, sorry, guys, I've got to leave the trip. You know what I mean? Why does everyone have to come with him?

You're a grown man. You're a grown man. Charter a car. Get yourself back to the border. Whatever you got to do, dude. But like, you're a grown-ass man. Don't cancel the family vacation of this girl who was going to break up with you anyway.

Well, it seems like you pretty much are broken up with now. Get the fuck out of there. And also, you have eight hands in a duffel bag. You want to do that by your story. right? Yeah, it's funny. It's pretty funny.

Could you imagine. What's great, though, I just remembered that while they don't outright say eight heads in a duffel bag in this movie, the closest they do come, though, is when

Christy Swanson sees the heads for the first time, and she goes, you have eight human heads in your luggage? Like, that's as close as they were willing to touch the third rail.

And I'm like, come on, fuck you. You're not above. You're not above it. Fuck you say it. Fuck you say the title of this movie in dialogue. But so now we all have to go in the fucking car, but oops.

Hang on a second. Hang on a second. We're getting ahead of ourselves here, Steve. I'd love to. I know you would. I know you would. But we got to cover this movie, man. I know. Here's the deal. Joe Pesci and David Spade and other guy embark on oh, asshole lost ahead. We have to do the replacement head gang. And we are fucking

learning that there's like a cryo laboratory on this campus with as David Spade says hundreds of heads cryonics it's cryonics and cryonics and you know what they have all these guys that kind of look like Joey and Stewie and what oh my God would you believe it they have Lassie they decapitated Lassie and they put her in the cryonics

that's a big joke in this movie it is doghead How do you not do a Walt Disney joke? Like it's the only one to do. Just have a guy with a Pentleton mustache. Because here's the thing is you're making this movie and you think the movie's going to turn out one way. And in the way that you think this movie is going to turn out, that movie that will never exist and was never the one that you were making.

But that movie, that imaginary movie, that movie's too good to make that joke. I see. So you see it's like, oh, we couldn't possibly do that. This movie is much too smart for that. Also, if you are, I mean, if you're Tomlin, you're like, oh, man, I am going to conquer the world. Nine heads in a duffel bag is a lot. It's happening for sure.

Hollywood pictures might be what you want. That might be the shingle you want to fucking put it out in. If Orion hasn't put up the money to get you for two, why not? Dude, and like they just have, like, this is another thing where it's like, it's not for this movie. Like, this guy Todd is like yelling at David Spade. whose character's name is Ernie, by the way. I don't buy a David Spade character named Ernie. No.

The other guy's got to be Burt. If you were doing that, just do it. And he's just like, Ernie, we can't do this. These people went into this believing in an immortality. We're going to be destroyed. And it's just like, dude, not for this movie. No, no, sir. No, sir, not for eight heads in the duffel bagger.

We give him this fucking speech. I don't think so. And like, they're just, at this point, you're just slowing the movie down. Because, like, it's not even. like we have because at first it's like I'm going to kill you a profession he kind of looks like stewed like no no no no don't do that don't kill anybody uh we have the cryotics thing it's a perfect solution who gives this shit you know it's fine yep and then they don't do that and they wind up having to go to the morgue part of the med school to get uh chop you know lop some

heads off of people who have actually died naturally and are not expecting to be resurrected in 200 years or whatever um but yeah so all that goes out of the medical school and we are going back. The vacation is canceled. This is where George Hamilton now gets arrested at the airport and this stupid fucking gag where again, like, you're really drawing it out. You're really hoping that everyone in the theater

is chuckling by the time it happens with this x-ray gag where George Hamilton puts the heads through and you see the human skulls. But the attendants doing security are concerned about the bag behind it because they think a hairdryer looks like a gun. And George Hamilton's being

very fucking rich white guy about it. And it like I could see my back it's right there can I just reach in and get it let's go and they then when he see I do like the effect of George Hamilton putting his head in and you see a little skeleton hand which is cool and then that triggers these two security guards to like freak out he gets arrested and like none of this is none of George Hamilton and again it's just this big physicality with zero payoff none of it like him wiggling out of trying to get arrested none of it is funny at all yeah none of it matters no it's not like we're our

full like measure of what this would be like or like even fucking making the jokes that would be there for something like this you're just abandoning because you i don't know maybe you want george hamilton out of the movie for a while maybe that that's the only thing i can fucking think of because otherwise there's nothing you're taking out your MVP then yeah i'm saying yes totally but you know it's too bad crystal skull vodka didn't exist yet because you're like no uh that's just my crystal skull vodka i'm sorry i have two bottles two bottles you're like sucking on the tongue of a dead body. No, it's delicious. This is so good. I keep fucked

in this. It's super pure this way. Yeah. I'm getting fucked up right now. You're like crying. But we also speaking of things as a matter, we've cut back and forth to the mafia a couple times. We see Big Sep was this big cigar

chomping fat guy that was also never on the Sopranos. Awful. Awful. Awful. Just like, where I'm... This is in the trailer by the way. Get me those heads. I want those heads. God, that's abysmal. There better be eight heads in that double bag or you're in trouble.

This is the time of while we're always, in all these movies, it's you use tango music to be like, because it's a little dangerous and a little fun, isn't it? And I'm like, it's a little light of its feet. Yeah, yeah, it's a little cheap. Exactly, absolutely. There's no, like, there's no distinctiveness to it. Like you wish there was.

because we're dancing you see what we're doing is we're dancing with the audience you understand that we're dancing with the audience we're going to bring them into a tango yeah we're going to step on their feet a few times of course we are but we are we are dancing them to satisfaction the movie's asking may i have this dance and i'm saying no get away from me you smell it's actually funny though is that that kind of tunage in a movie and i'm just thinking on you know hackman of course the last few days it makes me think of the bird cage. So when I was hearing that music, I'm thinking of the

bird cage and I was like, you dumb bastard. Why did you do that? I mean, that's Jesus Christ, that is like, I don't even know what, like, watching an NBA game and then go into some fucking little league bullshit. It just, that's what this is. I mean, because, like, that movie has, like,

jokes upon jokes and comedic actors out the ass and, like, everybody's, everybody knows what they're doing and, like, things are set up in the first act and paid off in the third and all sorts of great, great stuff. Uh, here. Emotions. My God. Real human emotions are going on in that movie. And actually, you know what? That movie also survives a drippy, uh, it's got dead funter in it. He sucks in that movie. Yes. It does not matter because it overcomes. Yes. There. You're totally right.

He is the pill in a fucking big jar of peanut butter. Doesn't matter. Yep, exactly. Uh, so this again, just the whole like bad improv or bad sketchness of it all, like just when you think we're finally rid of this fucking motel or this hotel resort and seeing the same set they just have to go back there because now we're meeting with the Mexican lawyer who's like oh your fucking husband has been sentenced to death don't worry they only mildly tortured him but yes

he confessed to the murder and he's been sentenced to death well isn't there a trial like this is the whole yeah it's another country so there's just a tribunal that is sentenced him to death already. Okay. And I guess because there were only so many chairs on set, Hamilton out, this nobody old lady in

as the mother. There's no, there's no arrival scene for this woman at all. She's just sitting at the table with the lawyer and you're like, who's this? And then Christy Swanson us to be like, oh, this is my grandmother. She just flew in today to help

with Daddy's bail or like, whatever it was. It's just like, how do you not have a shot of this woman get, oh no, she's here. Because when it's set up this lady as a battle accident earlier, she's like, mom, don't come, mom, oh my God, mom, it's raining I'm out hanging up. Then yes, it's

like her coming out of a fucking taxi, get a taxi cab for the day. She gets out. She's supposed to be funny. She's supposed to be funny. Like a lane stretch or whatever, she could pull this off. But like, she's having these lines like, oh, oh, light torture, what a little electricity on his

dilly wacker? Like, that's a problem. and it's just not delivered well it's not written well and she ate your grandmama's dialogue you know like oh could you have could you imagine a granny that talked like that that's the whole thing you're supposed to have a character here and you just get like a pound of sass

that you have to make worse for the whole fucking rest of the movie and like it just doesn't work like I literally was like who was that like when she comes like okay she keeps on showing up I don't know why she's here and basically Basically, I guess at this point, Pesci calls. And he's like, why aren't you at San Diego?

They're like, well, you know, so-and-so got arrested. I don't know what we're going to do. And he's like, just stay there. I'm coming to get you. And then this is when Charlie realizes, like, uh-oh, I think when he comes here, he's probably going to kill us. I'm going to just go to the police and get your dad out of jail. And then the mom, Diane Cannon, like, remembers all of a sudden that there were eight heads in a duffel bag.

And she comes in and she's like, you're the one that, you're the one that, you're the one that, got my husband arrested and I'm gonna fix you and they just they bonker on the head here It's just, I can't believe it This is this is a gag Again, from a movie With a set of heightened expectations

That this movie does not have Sure This is a comedy move from the film clue The film clue You know I believe like Martin Moll Gets bunked on the head In a very similar fashion And like it's funny

And you accept it Because in the world of the movie clue, those kinds of comedy terms have been agreed on at the start of the film. And it's like, not for this movie. Getting hit by Tim fucking Curry. Again, you know what I mean? Like worlds of difference than Christy Swanson doing anything. And we're talking about Gene Hackman. Also, rest in peace, Mr. Martin Mall.

That was, oh, yes. Oh, yes. He got Farina hard last night. Oh, yes, he did. Oh, fuck. That's another one, those sons of bitches, man. Yeah, so the hitting over the head of the base or whatever. Charlie has to go rent a car so they can get to the border.

And he's just like, this is, again, it's not, it doesn't mean anything. Like he goes to rent a car and he's like, oh, that's my father-in-law's car that you guys stole. And the guy's just like giving him the other scumbag treatment here. He's like, oh, there's a lot of red jeeps, you know, and he's like, with this psychology magazine in the backseat, he's like, the joke here is, see, I'll rent you the car and I'll throw in that magazine for free. is anyone laughing I mean the fucking decoding you have to do in this movie and like the ignoring you have to do in this movie

like I get it right the guy is going to be put to death in Mexico and like you're not supposed that's just supposed to be funny I guess like you're not supposed to take that series that George Hamilton is facing death

or anything like that no no no no no no no and that would make for a great comedy if you could make it funny while he's actually considering what's going to happen there a good comedy would just fucking make a good point about like a big joke about it. This movie is just like

it's happening. Forget about it. Don't work. It's off screen. Who gives his shit? It doesn't matter right now. I don't think you see him again until the bullshit wedding scene in the credits where he's out of the movie. He's got gringo tattooed on the back of his head and his head shaved and boy isn't that a lot of laughs. Lots of big laughs there. This is where also

this is the first instance of the character realizes there's a funk because he's driving with the heads and he's like and he pulls over and this is where we're getting like the ice and the cooler and everything like that. And I'm talking an hour in three days later like no these things

stunk the whole fucking time. In Mexico yes and very hot but to think to conceal them this late in the movie you should have been doing this a long time ago. They should have to cooler the whole time. That would at least make sense later when they're just in perfect

condition because they shouldn't be they'd be covered with bugs and maggots and shit, just disgusting and worst shit. Yeah, all that. You'd be retching. He's sleeping on the, look like it's a pillow. Please, you're making me hungry. Come on. Maggots, I love that. The whole

rotting flesh thing reminds me of a hilarious and incredibly uncomfortable moment between me and my father's several years ago. Ooh, please. So, Steve, you'll recall this. Eric, I don't know if you remember because you were living upstairs,

but our final year at purchase, Steve, you and I had another roommate who was like a couch guy kind of against our will sort of a deal. A dude that would just kind of just stay with us. Yeah. Yeah, kind of like an indefinite. Oh, I'm hanging out. Oh, and now everybody's going to bed.

Guess I will too, that kind of deal. So between the fall and spring semesters, there's winter break, of course, and we're gone for like a month and a half or whatever it is. And this guy left a bag of food in our apartment that he had like intended to throw out. And there was like meat in it. And so when we came back, I was the first one through the door coming back after winter break. And I almost vomited. Like I opened the door and like a punch in the face, I almost vomited with this smell. So cut to whenever it was like a couple weeks later or something, I'm talking to my parents. And I'm telling my dad.

And, you know, for folks at home who don't, you know, maybe new to the show or whatever, they haven't heard me mentioned before. My dad for 40 years worked for the New York State Police. So I say that only because for what he said in a second here. So we're talking or whatever. And I go, I'm telling the whole story. I'm like, yeah, dad, I walk into this. apartment and bam it just smelled like there was like a rotting corpse in here and my father

without missing a beat over the phone just goes if you knew what that actually smelled like you wouldn't say that and i was just like you know what man fair enough oh that's what they should be doing instead of dare remember dare in school when they would bring in like marijuana and say doesn't this smell good wouldn't you want to try that sometime i and i'm like yeah it smells fucking piney and citrusy and awesome. Have the kids smells a piece of rotting human flesh. I think it would be great to, it's a skill

to have so that you can know what's going. You're around a corpse, you'll know it now. Now I kind of want to write a John Wayne Gacy movie and like, you know, it's him at the fam, just you know, eating barbecue chicken, just having a good like Sunday when his daughter's just like, oh my God, dad.

Your feet smell like rotting flesh. You do it that smelled like you wouldn't say that. And she's like, what? Oh, nothing. I mean, I'm a normal family man. I'm not raping and killing boys. You clearly don't know what that smells like. I should have mentioned my father was dressed like a clown at the time.

So Joe Pesci gets to the resort. We fucking get all these fuckers into a van. And now it's like, it's like the worst moment of any family road trip. You're just in a huge van. It's hot out. Everybody's screaming at each other. And at this point, Todd Luisie goes full. Redfield, which is unfortunate for a pretty good actor to have to like,

this is bad. Oh, that's unfortunate for all of us, I think. Yes, it is. I think that's just across the board. That's bad. We're just, because we're trying to make heightened things and have anything like actually like, you know, kind of snowball and do like, oh, now he's seen so much whatever, he's gone totally loopy. It's like, yeah, remember, this is a character that just flew an airplane here. You should mention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. David, he's, he's, he's, he, he's going to kill David Spade in this guy and he's like, well, Steve can actually fly an airplane. You don't want to fly

commercial. Hey, great fucking idea. Why would you fly commercial with eight heads and a duffel bag? Or what is this now? Four heads that he's bringing, which he doesn't even exactly know that he needs. And then there's that joke of the one that he obviously doesn't need. I don't know. Anyway, so they fly

there. And then he's crazy. I mean, you don't see it at all. But that could have been a moment for comedy. And it would be a small set get like a little one of those tiny plane sets yeah like flight risk or whatever but you could go back and forth and maybe you know oh they're even near miss but i guess that would cost money this is the cheapest movie ever made the whole resort is like two hotel rooms and that's the resort we're seeing yeah what's interesting though as i think about it i feel like they have that

in there to like get them back so they don't have to do an airport thing again which is fine but like When you think about it for a second, what kind of plane is this guy flying that can make it on a tank of fuel from Baltimore to San Diego? If it's just this like those little puddle jumper things, I don't think it's making it. Like what kind of fucking plane did they hijack? Yes. It makes no sense. Who knows? God damn, this is one of the worst fucking scripts.

So many people said yes. I just can't believe it. I don't under, you had some, you know, David Spade's a funny guy. Have him rewrite the script for you real quick. Just totally. Let him improv. Let him do it. Let him do his thing. We're, what, two years off a Tommy boy at this point. Like, dudes off SNL, like he's clearly proven comedy chops. Let's do it. David Spade, by the way, is not, like, he's kind of funny in those first couple scenes, maybe.

Then from there out, he's just like Joe Pesci's number two and just not making jokes anymore. Checked out. Totally check that. He's not sarcastic. He's not doing the thing you want to see. He's helping him. Yes. You know, he's giving him all the, like, they have. You know, it doesn't matter, but there's an abysmal whose line, who's on first, rather, kind of moment where Spade and Pesci are going back and forth. Like, you said that you had a good Tommy and a bad Sam and a one of, like the head equivalent, like the head look like. So-so Stewie and a bad Frank. Yeah, whatever the fuck it is. And it's like, oh, you said it was a so-so-Frank and a bad Stewie.

No, I said it's a bad Frank and you're just like, my God, someone steal that airplane and let's get out of here. Oh, and by the way, the mobsters have seen George Hamilton on TV and then realize that the head is down in Mexico, so they go to Mexico. So they're in Mexico following Tommy at this point. And yes, this is the scene where the grandmother just gets a little sassy and Tommy just can't stand it anymore. Joe Pesci throws this lady out of a moving car off a cliff. Thumbs up. Big thumbs up. Yeah, really funny. But you need to do it.

She needs to be dead forever and that's the end of it. Even Diane Cannon, the joke is like, she's like, oh my God, I thought she was never going to die. Like, that's, there you go. And how about that? Is like, that's, that's all you need. That's the only response.

That's like a direct family member, right? It's the mother-in-law. But you've also got the fucking Todd guy, like, freaked out. And Joe Pesci has to go, a man can only take so much, kid. Like, it's just one. It's just one. And it's Diane Cannon.

And the joke is she's thankful that the mother-in-law is dead. Yes. And all of that actually works because she's responding to a violent murder. And her reaction is, I'm glad she's dead. That's the joke. That's all you needed. And that I would also, I would want more violence then. Because, like, I would need to see her bouncing off rocks as it's going down.

Because then maybe I see it. Maybe then I'm getting into it a little bit. But like, as it's just so. passive. It's just so like, there we go. It's done. It's over. Isn't it funny that she's dead now? It is. It's a blink and you miss it. You could just just that entire sequence. So to your point, Chris, I do think we should have shots of this elderly woman scraping down this cliff, hitting another rock on her head, busting this bone. Homer Simpson style. Yes. Yes. Yes. Or it's just one hard fall, like just straight top to bottom. When she hits the bottom, she explodes for no reason. at the very least I need to hear a big

like the cartoon like missile drop and then like a thud you know yeah there it is exactly but if she blew up that's a Zucker Brothers joke but that's a comedy

meanwhile whatever Charlie runs a foul of everybody's least favorite gang they're about to beat him up he says hey flip for it yes heads you just leave me alone tails you can kill me and he's

like heads right because heads it's heads it doesn't most certainly is and he gets it right and they just punch him in the stomach and steal his car and then here is good for them fucking primo just again if you want like another example of the DOA miss of this guy

playing Charlie the whole thing is like all the dudes run away scared from the head and whatever and he's like yelling after the one guy like oh Ramon don't take the keys don't take the keys and he realizes he can't get the car started he just sits there and this guy like this is supposed to be a joke like he just goes this has not been a very good vacation yeah oh man it got like five degrees cooler in my house when that line was uttered it's so good oh and then a coyote gets the head isn't that funny it's sort of just happening

And then Joe Pesci runs a foul of them on the road. And now we're like, we're all together here. And basically at this point, he's about to kill him. But then he's like, oh, those old, I think that's a big Seps boys. They're going to get me. And he's like, what if we came to an arrangement? And it's your classic, has, maz, maz, maz, maz, bas, maz, because they're going to talk about what the third act is. And Joe Pesci takes the heads to a hotel.

By the way, on the car ride back, we've listened to Mr. Sandus. man, he turns it off, he hates it. Also, just with the car, before we get to the motel, there's something that I think is the most, like, insulting part of this movie to Joe Peshy. They're driving in the car, and again,

it's Todd having his, Steve, you said, he's like, it's like a Renfield-esque kind of mental break. You absolutely, and it doesn't matter that Joe Pesci is not in the specific one, but you absolutely cannot reference a Martin Scors movie in the backseat

of a minivan when Joe Pesci's riding shotgun and this guy's doing the fucking taxi driver, you talking to me and he's talking at the severed head and you're just looking at Joe Pesci and you're thinking about all the movies he made with Martin Scorsese and you wish you were doing literally anything else with your life at that moment

but watching eight ends in a duffel bag anyway this might be the last listener request month guys. Yeah no actually everyone can thank Corey for the end of listener request month. I work I regret everything in my life that has led me to this moment. Every twist and turn we've made to get to this exact point of doing an episode on eight heads in a double bag.

I know we said it about ultraviolet, but you know, at least that had an ethos. Yeah, sure. Exactly. Thank you. Better movie. Joe Pesci lines up all the heads on a desk. Just to sort of, and he's like, all right, I got, this is going to be Tommy. That's going to be Joey. That's just so, oh, this Frank isn't so good.

We're still doing that horse shit. yeah right he's like punching the heads to make him more damage we guys are watching through whatever through the binoculars that he goes to sleep and wouldn't you know watch wait i'm sorry but again just like conveniences that wouldn't happen to make your dumb ass script work he's lining all these heads up in the motel like on a desk with the fucking curtains open yes like the movie the movie has joe pesci play this character like he's good at his job and if he's not good at his job then you have to have Joe Pesci play it that way and you need more stuff about how like

this is his last chance because he keeps fucking up or whatever else but like if you're lining up eight heads on a table with the blinds to your motel room wide open dude you deserve everything that's coming to you and why are you wearing these he hot teeth if you're not stupid you know what I mean like what's the point of the he hot teeth man I really wish I noticed the teeth I just did not I was just like is there something wrong that I looked at up

that he did indeed wear a prosthetic But he goes to sleep and this is... After saying, what a bunch of douchebags to the heads. Oh, Joe Pesci is saying douchebag. And this moment here, Steve, is to wake you up.

You know what I mean? Like it's too... Oh, what the... Whoa, something actually is weird happening in this movie. I think this is the scene I kind of liked as a kid because I liked the headless bodies

coming into those. It's like a zombie movie for a second. Yeah. Which I think this was also part of the trailer in some way because this. Oh, sorry. No, just this was literally the only part of the movie that I recognized from anything.

When the head started singing, I was like, oh, this movie. It's something. They're doing an acapella version of Mr. Sandman, but they're calling him Mr. Hitman. We're speaking of a weird owl. It is. And it's like, again, like, it's an hour and 15 minutes in. Like, it's too late for this.

It's just, it's just to wake you up. You're like, what? Oh, yeah, I guess this is going on. Yes. the bodies ripped through the door and it's kind of creepy almost like the way they're all like

going over a tiny joke by saying yeah I kind of want those bodies attack him like I would love if this is the end of the movie and it's a fucking tails of the crypt thing

you know what I mean like he checks in a hotel and the bodies get him and that's the movie credits yeah I mean we might as well enter the paranormal or spiritual

or something at this point because what have you got to lose you took away my beautiful George Hamilt What else I got here? Oh, I'll tell you what you got. I'll tell you what you got. You got David Spade

spit roasting a coyote in the middle of the desert because that's fucking funny. You don't see any of that? Dude, I'm sorry. Like, who killed that thing? Who skinned it properly? Who took the fucking organs out of it?

So you're not eating bile and fucking fluid knife? Seriously, like that, all those questions. I'm sorry, but all of those questions came to me when you see this like four second shot of him cooking. a coyote. Well, in defense of the movie, which I'm not really defending. He's a medical student. Maybe, I don't know, he can scoop out the organs or whatever at least. That could be.

That might be true, but I just smashed my knee because it's, that was so funny. And I was just slamming. I was too hard on my knuckle into my knee because it was so funny. It was so funny. Now you need a doctor. I do. I do. Just invite completely someone call. Well, actually, be careful, Chris. You might have a fucking heart attack because when we go to bed, which is just, just three seconds later. Wait a minute. And here comes Todd Luisi in full Redfield mode. He starts just saying like, don't get ahead.

What's that? You know, I'm all just head puns. Oh, wait, wait. But nope, that is, yep, that is a heart attack. You were right, Stephen. That's a heart attack going on right now because of the humor. So we get to the final push. We get to the final push of this movie, which is their grand secret plan that they've come up with is being enacted this morning.

Joe Pesci, knowing that these guys are on to him, drives back, back to the goddamn hotel in Mexico once again. We get back to the hotel, Joe Pesci sits down. This is like your closest thing to like a mafia kind of scene, right? I know you're coming for me. I'm going to have breakfast. And the dudes come in and he's like, oh, well, I know that the second I get to the border, you're going to kill me. So I'm just going to sit here and enjoy my breakfast. You get this bag over my dead body.

Boop, boop, boop. And this is when the gang of everybody shows up. They have a gun. They pull it on the mobsters. And, you know, they also pull it on this kind of the head hotelier. His name is Paco. He's. Yes.

And now he's part of the people. Like basically like, they just, like, we have the heads and we're going to go to the border. And they grab Paco and they do that. And like they're being chased by the mafia here. Am I missing a goddamn thing? no not really um they just it's it's it's one of those things where it's like and now paco's in the van and exactly i didn't want it this like this fucking catamari domesi rolling ball with characters that you're adding like it more characters like pumped into your comedy like doesn't make it funny like

just by nature of number of bodies in the scene it doesn't make your movie funnier if you just add more people into the scene bat's known and trey parker had a really good there's a clip of them going over what they think about, like, screenwriting, how they get into things. And they're like, if something happens because the next, and because of that, the next thing happens. That's good screenwriting. Something happens and that the, because of the consequences of what happens in that scene, something happens. Bad screenwriting is this happened. And then this happens. Right. And then this happens. And then this happens. And this is the most. And then this Happens movie I have ever

seen it just keeps it really doesn't the fucking fact that goddamn George Hamilton's fucking sentence to death doesn't matter the fact that they had eight fucking heads in a duffel bag at a goddamn resort for three days doesn't really matter it just

it just fucking matter I would like to cut back to him in prison I mean I know there's probably anything bad prison rape jokes or whatever but at least there would be like something about like maybe maybe he you think it's going to be a bad prison rape joke but like his his cellmate's really nice and you know what I mean like that's funny

but at this point Steve I would take a bad prison rape joke just so long it's delivered by a competent actor like George Hamilton yeah sure come on at this point I'm desperate at this point like go super farcical go try to break him out of prison or show him about to be executed maybe you're like oh I don't want to be recognized so

they put one of the heads on their body with a big coat or something just get dumb with it I like it Yeah, not enough headplay with these decap damage. You got eight little guys in that bag that could change your story. And I will say pretty good prosthetic heads. A really good prosthetic head.

Yeah. Yeah, really not bad. That's what the whole budget win, I guess. Not to Will Smith, by the way. Will Smith was offered $10 million to be in this movie. And his manager said, no, that guy deserved a raise. That guy, that is a... He saw it coming.

Yeah. Like, you wouldn't have... so many Will Smith movies he was in this movie because he would be he'd be sent back to fucking Philadelphia like get out of here get out of Hollywood

look what you did go back to TV scumbag oh so we go back and we got to cause one more scene at the airport because the three other times we've done this in the movie

it hasn't been funny yet so fucking fourth time's a charm and it's like this is where the Todd guy is just running around with one of the severed heads scaring people freaking and everybody. Full Daffy Duck at this

point. Full on fucking who-hoo-hoo-hoo-in. Oh, whoa, whoa, wait, do, do, do, do, do, daffy duck's funny. I don't want that to get mixed up here. But all of a sudden, like, we, they're able to put, uh,

this, they have a bag with all the extra heads in it. And Rico and Benny, the two mafia guys, like, grab it. And then they're like, oh, arrest them, arrest them. And this gag about like, you're, you know, you're arresting us for the wrong heads or whatever it is. And Pesci. my god he just does the kick through the metal detector move

again that he did at the beginning of the movie come on because there was in the hotel especially he's like you're him you're him you're him and there's a bald one and he's like I can't use you for nothing and he puts it aside that is the one they pinned on the mafioso so like he has his eight heads and his duffel bag so he's gonna you know a mission accomplished here and the nine head takes care of those guys

uh that's something that sure is and then so like Peschi gets out and like this is like the final moments of the movie like Pesci like making the grand escape right here right like you finally did it dude you somehow did the kick through the metal detector a second time in a week

and it worked oh my god he stops to give the thumbs up couldn't believe it could not believe he stopped to give the thumbs up is bad but then because the movie doesn't believe in itself why should it Charlie has to go up to him and then he has to go

you did good kid you got a future and it's like is that solving the movie's problem I guess so why you've got a future line is when he's returning the manuscript of the detective story so he's read the story and liked it oh I did not read it that way at all really really I read it right I don't know I took it as him saying like you did a good job with this plan there's a future in hitmaning for you I would be easier to believe the other thing if you saw at any fucking point in this movie Joe Pesci looking at that manuscript.

I'm going to be honest. It's just a badly made movie. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't even remember this happening. This thing has just been flushed. This thing has just been immediately flushed. And then here's dude the fucking panty dropper of it all. Like Pesci gets on the plane.

The duffel bag gets packed away. He's gone. Christy Swanson comes up like, what was that? To which this dude doing a play, the title of his novel goes Slight of Bag by Charlie Pritchett and the fucking

flood that happens on this tarmac and she starts making out with him what are we doing? She realizes he's not a total drip after all and starts going for it. That's great. That's good. Oh man. The Steve guy here has one line when he's running around with the head and he goes

you can't have my head it's my best friend that's anytime an unwarranted best friend is thrown out I'm going to laugh at it. Sure. We fade to black and then we cut to the credits, which is also the wedding of her and him. How dare this movie? They weren't even working out.

They've had no chemistry. Now they're getting married. You get to see grandma's back to life. Maybe the guys with their heads cut off are people again now, too. They're all stitched together. It's like a fucking timber gang. Wedding during the credits also just like the bird cage. Oh, yeah.

Wow, you're right. Very weird. That is weird. We get, so like, you know, Steve is there. It's still dumb in that movie, by the way. I love that movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's in a straight jacket because he's cuckoo crazy.

We cut to David Spade for his title card. He's a brain surgeon. He's like almost drops a brain. Yes. And did you see this, though? Did you see what's going? David Spade is holding the fakesest prop toy brain I've ever seen. It's clearly just plastic.

It's great. it's gray not good oh my god that was bad that was bad and then Joe Pesci is wearing his Jimmy Hollywood wig

and has a little cocktail saying hey I did it maybe it's a maybe it's a deleted scene from Jimmy Hollywood has everybody seen Jimmy Hollywood I have

I've seen a million times as well Steve it's like he's a hustler in Hollywood him and Christian Slater our hustlers like trying to make it's kind of like

they're trying to make the first YouTube channel yes way, like, they're doing all this, like, weird stuff and, like, helping people around Hollywood. Political. It's like, we're going to take to the streets and take it back. It's awful. Oh, that sounds bad. Doesn't he have kind of

scumbag hair in that Love Ranch movie? It's a big, it's a big bad wig in that. Yeah, yeah, it's a wig. First of all, it's always a wig. Uh, no, but this is like, him in that Love Ranch movie, it's like a super wig. I mean, there's no other way to describe it.

So, what is worse out of the three of those movies. This one. Love Ranch and Jimmy Hollywood. It's this. Yeah. Jimmy Hollywood's awful. Yeah, Jim Hollywood is awful. I mean, with honors is also awful, but still, a hundred times I would take it. Oh, my kingdom for with honors. I would call that in next year. I would like to see that. But yeah, I mean, that is it. He's just drinking a tropical drink somewhere, probably giving another thumbs up to

the camera. I don't know. He's literally looking at the camera. Like, thanks for watching my movie. Good night, everybody. What a stinker. Thanks so much to Corey for calling this one. I apologize, Corey. This wasn't, Corey wasn't the only request for this. No. It's just having to be Corey's call that we picked. So thanks to everyone who really up to the numbers, giving us a good shot to pick this one. We will go around the horn here. I'm not going to bother to say recommendations, of course, but any final thoughts about what we've witnessed here today? Chris cabin. No, horrible movie. I just even

don't, do not put up the shield of it's a comedy guys. No. No, no, no, no, no. It fucking sucks. This is horrible. It makes me appreciate the whole nine yards so much. Which is a bad thing that shouldn't be happening. But it does.

And I feel ashamed to have to fuck it. This is for sure the last time I'm seeing this. It's gone. I can't imagine. any world in which they thought it was a good idea to put this thing out. But, Chris, imagine you, like, imagine you forgot entirely that you watched this

and we did the episode on it, and then you accidentally watched it again. Like, oh, eight heads in a duffel bag. I've been meaning to check this out. Mr. Siska. Stick around. We're going to have a lot more fun next week. I mean, this movie just put me in such a fucking mood.

I have no idea why I remember. I was like, oh, that's going to be a fun one because I remember it as a kid. But my God, did I forget? the contents the contents of the things yes yes i didn't open the duffel bag again till today and i regret it uh chris i'm going to see your uh uh hold nine yards and i'm going to raise you analyze this analyze that oh yeah mickey blue eyes is better than this movie much better oh my god these are all the crew the crew all bad comedy all bad mom comedies any bad mom comedy this is awful i think

Yeah, it's just, the Andy Camo of it all is a really big problem. The script is a really big problem. The direction's a really big problem. It's not the Christie Swanson of it all. Yeah, it's just nothing is good here. It's not funny. It's not edgy. That's the thing is, even if it was edgy, it would be something.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that'd be great. It wouldn't be good, but it would be something. Oh, that's kind of edgy. They showed this or that. They don't. It's chicken shit. And it's not funny.

Zero. Zero out of zero. yeah this was for me a very rare half star on letterboxed um it's just putrid and yeah don't be Chris is right don't hide behind it's a comedy like comedies can be bad too there's plenty of them out there um this is it's a really bad script that needed a lot more work before we went into production because in theory like on paper this kind of a dark comedy thing could work but you need the right jokes you need the right performers to pull off what will always be difficult material I think that's the biggest mistake when you see someone like making a dark comedy right uh in that it's a it's the

hardest kind of comedy to do because you are bouncing you are tap dancing on the edge of a butcher's knife trying to not fall off making sure that it's perfectly balanced and if you don't have that balance which is more times than not with dark comedies i hate to say it because i do like them when they're good but more often they're not it's just a misfire and it's not an easy thing to do and it just kind of feels like they thought it was and man was it a huge mistake I will say I went through all the credits not looking for stingers but I'm just

I'm a credit guy I was genuinely surprised and I even rewound it I just jogged the credits back a little bit to make sure I didn't miss anything genuinely surprised there wasn't some bullshit no human heads were harmed in the making of this movie donkey shit joke at the end of it

nothing there at all but that is going to do it for this conversation here on eight heads in a duffel bag again, big thanks to Corey one more time for calling this one in. Eric, I feel like even though the movie broke us, it was entertained to hear us to lose our minds on the air, so don't worry

buddy. It's a solid episode. You did a great job. Everybody did a great job. And you know what? You did the greatest job of all audience. Thank you for lending us your years to bitch about this movie. But we are only now halfway through listener request month

of course last week's episode on Link is out now. Killer Monkey movie that I hate. better than this. Way better. And also the We Love Movies on In the Line of Fire is out. Great movie. Sorry, quick question. Better movie. Ape heads in a duffel bag? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. You're changing something from what this is, so therefore

Right. Well, is it eight ape heads in a duffel bag? How many ape heads are we talking? Either way, I say. I mean, honestly, if the heads are apes, if the ape is holding the duffel bag either way we're talking improvements here already. It's a sequel to Congo they just killed the fucking the talking gorilla and they just fucking take it. I always

I wanted there to be a sequel to Congo where somehow the apes like get back to the mainland and get Joe Don Baker's character I like that. In that movie Joe Don Baker is the John Hammond who doesn't go to the park like John Baker stays back at the technology institute

imagine like Joe Don Baker at the end of the movie goes back into his office and then the desk chair turns around and it's a vicious ape. Well, that's, like I'm sure this movie was pitched as like eight heads in a duffel bag. And that's it. Oh, yeah, I got it. I got to see what that's like. I got to see what. Yeah. Joe Don Baker versus gorilla. That sells itself. That's just right off the belly. Yes. Whatever that is, I will take it. Yeah, I got a new movie coming out. They got me fighting a big silver ape or something. It's great.

So that's going on on the Patreon where also you can get We Hate Movies episodes just like this one, ad-free, by the way, at patreon.com slash we hate movies. Now, most of our schedule this month is indeed listener requested, of course. So Steve Sadek, the animation damnation was something that's requested. It is Darya.

Depth takes the holiday. It'll be our first time talking about Darya. I think that we'll probably record that tomorrow. I feel like a lot of people are going to like it. We're probably going to like it. I just rewatched the episode today. It's a sillier one, but it is still very great. I'm a huge fan of that show.

I wound up watching four episodes this afternoon. Just because I got into a groove. So that was really great. The Gleap glossary, Eric, there's also a... It is listener request, and it is Malo Keeley, the Rancor Keeper. If you ever seen Return of the Jedi, he's the heavyset fellow that weeps when the monsters destroyed by Luke Skywalker. It's going to be a very fun episode.

Definitely recommend checking that out. Now, Chris Cabin, of course, we're not letting people request on Melro. That's correct. We are doing, of course, LRN Month. listener request nothing we love we love this time of year over at Melro 210 and we of course we are seeing

the second episode in the hallow 90210210 Daddy Wars yes Daddy Wars and it continues I hope it goes on because it really has been rallying me to this move to this show's cause while Melrose has just been burning the place down

everyone's going fucking crazy over there Melrose it's really a fantastic episode and we hope you enjoy it. Later this month we'll also be releasing a listener requested episode of The Nexus. That's our Star Trek Recap show. We're talking about two very good and incredibly different episodes of DS9,

one horny and one beautiful and sad. So that's going to be a lot of fun as well. And then of course the end of the month stay tuned folks. It wasn't listener requested, but our next syncable commentary on David Finchers The Game starring Michael Douglas. That is coming out. That

was a lot of fun. When we did that one a while back so look for that as well. Now, of course, like I said, we're only halfway through Listener Request Month. We have two weeks left. Steve Sadek, what is going on

with next week's episode? This is a movie that I taped off television as a child and I can't tell you why. It's called a low-down dirty shame. There it is.

By author Keenan Ivory Wames. Wow. I've never seen this one. I hope it's better than eight heads in a duffel bag. It is. It is 100%. I don't think we're going to enjoy

some of the language. yeah oh sure and some some phobias come out that are not not great oh agoraphobia is it agoraphobia you're close is what i'll tell you uh but otherwise i think easily better than this oh oh for sure yeah no doubt about it so until next week when we're talking the low down dirty shame i've been Andrew juppin Stephen say that Eric Sis cabin take it easy Thank you. I don't know.