We Hate Movies - S15 Ep790: A Low Down Dirty Shame

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

“Well, the action isn’t bad!” - Steve On this week’s episode, Listener Request Month continues as the guys chat about the Keenen Ivory Wayans action comedy, A Low Down Dirty Shame! Should someone else have starred as Shame if we were going to have this much dramatic acting asked of whoever got to play Shame? Couldn’t we have had a little more Sven-Ole Thorsen in this movie? Why does Shame only get the cool-guy makeover with like 20 minutes left of the movie? And how fantastic is Jada in everything, including this? PLUS: Clint Eastwood, unlikely ally for Wayman and Bernard?! Find out this summer when he stars in Supportive Grandpa! A Low Down Dirty Shame stars Keenen Ivory Wayans, Jada Pinkett Smith, Charles S. Dutton, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Corwin Hawkins, Gary Carlos Cervantes, Gregory Sierra, Kim Wayans, Andrew Schaefer, and the great Andrew Divoff as Mendoza; directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, it's one of those dreadful scenarios where it's a crime comedy that's not very funny. It's a low-down dirty shame. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadak. Dirty Eric. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, I should say, that's right.

1994 is a low-down dirty shame directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans. This was the movie where they were like, hey, man, you can be funny in sketches. You're a very funny writer and you're a talented director, but man, you ain't no dramatic actor. Well, this is the vanity project to end all vanity projects, right? It's got to be. Because I mean, like, he did, I'm going to get you suck, which really launched this career after, like, he's in Hollywood Shuffle. But, like, you know, that at least is like, it's a full-on comedy spoofs. His brother is there.

The fam is going. You know what I mean? It's very sketch comedy adjacent. This is like, no, dude, I'm jacked and I'm sexy, and I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger. And you can't, dude. You can't. And the only sibling of mine that can be in it is Kim. Yes, exactly.

Let him into the movie. Now, this was obviously on the air when in living... This was released when a living color was on the air. Was, I'm gonna get you suck a... That's the 80s. Okay, so a living color had not happened yet, but this is like full on... Yes.

In living colors going on. This is my cashing my check to do something. Totally. I gotta say, I grew up with this movie. Wow. I taped this movie off of television. Oh, television edit or like an HBO broadcast? HBO and I got to watch it all the time.

So you got all the fun swears and slurs. Exactly. So did you enjoy, you enjoyed this movie in your use? I did. I think I was a living in color kid for sure. Definitely. I watched The Living Color. I really like the Wayans.

I supported the Wayans up until about scary movie. And then I was like, I'm out. I watched a ton of the Wayans brothers. Oh, that was the W.B. With Marlon and Shaw. It was Marlon and Sean was also that, right? Don't, don't be a menace. I remember watching quite a bit, you know.

Recreep for a dream. I was all about. So good. Last Boy Scout. A major. pain, anybody? We were just talking about major pain before you got to get. Better movie, by the way. Yes, it is. But like last

Boy Scout is in this mold. Yes. Yes. I don't even like that movie that much, but it's done so much better than this. Wait, I feel, hang on, I'm saying before we get ahead of ourselves here. Well, let's not take a credit for this, because this is not our fucking call. That's what I'm saying. We got to stop and say that this is the fault of Chuck

from South Jersey. He requested because this is, listener request month, by the way, it's the third week of this listener request month. So here's Chuck. from South Jersey. Let's get him on the air here. Hey, my name's Chuck calling from South Jersey. I was interested in hearing you guys do a low-down dirty shame.

One of the only 0% Rotten Tomatoes movies. Thanks. Love the show. Wow. Nice. I didn't know that. Maybe I'll give Chuck a pass on this. Maybe he just cruising the 0-percenters. Yeah, sure. That's an interesting way to do it. But you want that personal, like, I got stuck watching.

this one night when I was babysitting or whatever yeah but this is like I'm just playing the numbers this is probably shitty it's crazy because you have personal experience with this I just saw this for the first time yesterday and same with today I literally watch it today Chris Cabin apparently was an officianta but today is played by a pile of coats right here yeah we should say yes he's actually busy shooting his own vanity project a well-built cabin it's an action comedy more on the action side of things oddly though it also started Andrew Divov as a Mexican dude who got plastic surgery to look like Andrew Dibvon.

Mendoza! Chris Cabin on a bungee cord with two guns just shooting dudes. Oh, dude. Thanks. He gets the gun. Thanks. He shoots him in the face. We should really tie Chris to a rope and push him off a building or something.

Our bridge, a mall, concourse. You want to know the most excited I got watching this movie? Seeing the little hobo in the caravan pictures logo at the beginning. It had been a long time since I'd seen that fellow. What's that guy's deal, right? He's long dead. But what do you think he was getting up to, right? He was stealing pies and fiddles from the old...

But from old Hollywood, right? He stole a pie from Fatty Arbuckle. He wound up having to eat the Trimark horse. Firms good eating. Thanks, Trimark. Was that a Pegasus or was it a Pegasus? You know what? Horses in Pegaside?

They fucking grill up the same way. That's right. Oh, man. imagine like a buffalo wing as big as a horse would be delicious horsela wing how about that we need to start listen everything's going to shit right we need to start like breeding monsters

or something oh totally why not let's use our you know government coffers for some good like making a horse with wings so we can eat it well we're saving so much money we should be able to put it somewhere and a monster program makes a lot of sense wouldn't that be wonderful I do yeah so I grew up with this movie yeah and I kind of realized

very early on why I think I loved it so much had a bit of a crush on the Jada Pinkett and this is a very... It's impossible not to have a crush on a 1990s Jada Pinkett Yes, and she's good here, yeah. She's actually excellent. She's like, is a, it's one of those movies, it's a dog shit movie. Yep. Like, Divoff knows what's going on.

You know, Charles S. Dutton is terrible in this movie for some reason. He's really bad because I think Charles S. Dutton does understand the movie that he's in. He thinks he's in a much more serious cop movie. So when he's like Charles S. Duttoning around this movie, which is to say like doing real

acting, it comes off as bad because no one else is really either doing that at all or at that level and you're like, what do you, it seems like he's really overacting, which I guess he kind of is because there's not real direction here as far as like serious. That's what, again, like you can't even direct serious

performances, you know what I mean? It's just pure, like I don't want to take anything away from Keenan Ivory's fucking comedic genius because it is there and that dude has built fucking empires, but like the dramatic side of all this just doesn't fly and I think that's exemplified in poor Charles S. Dutton who's doing these fucking monologues

when he's yelling at Andrew Diffoff and I'm just like, what is going on? That is a scene from like two different not even a different movie, it's like two different movies ago. It's fucking horrible, honestly. But we have this cool, cold open, which I feel like is, isn't this very much the opening of Leon the professional, like a weird

going through, you get like the story through news clippings? Oh, you're talking about the hotel situation? Wait, weird sexual stuff in a hotel. Yeah, that sounds like Leon the professional to me. Another movie I liked as a kid now. I'm like, yeah, maybe there's some stuff that, yeah. Yeah, it's one thing you had common with your fucking high school teachers.

Oh, but I do, yeah. They were to prefer it a little boy. That's fair. That's fair. I take it back. Sorry, Catholic praise. I do love that he is just burning exposition in the beginning of this movie. Mm-hmm.

It's pretty great. This whole thing about this big deal down in Mexico that goes sour. he takes the fall for it, shames to blame. And you've got this song by Evelyn King that's just shame and it's kind of like bad shaft. That's exactly what they're going for

with this name all together. You don't get his name. Apparently his real name is on the check. Andre shame. Right. Shame and then the business is a low down dirty shame. And then his license plate is low down one.

Which, dude, there is a fucking low down dirty shame mobile. and you don't get wind of this into the last 20 minutes. And with how homophobic he is, why would he want it to be so close to down, down low, right? Yeah, that's very true. A down low, low, shane? Maybe that's what it's all about. I don't know.

Maybe that's why he hates them so much. That's a really dramatic, that's a really dramatic gay porno parody. The down low shames. And Charles S. Dutton's yelling about stuff in that too. But this is, yes, we start with Jada Pinkett, and she's playing Peaches, of course. She's dressed up as a... Hey, keep her name out your mouth! Oh, no, no, no.

We can say it. It's Chris Rock. That was not out. You were saying how you were attracted to her here. I think she's taking suitors now, right? Isn't that what's going on with that? Is that still going on? Or is she banging that dude from Red Table?

Very few people go from Will Smith to me. Yeah, very few people, Jada Pinkett. That's one person. a list It could happen You know, I'm used to fucking Will Smith Let me look

Well we're the exact opposite Of fucking Will Smith I want her Not a woman, not a woman No no no You might want variety right That's what you want to taste Every piece of that rainbow

But she is Going around in a A hotel made cart Doing this fucking room service gag where it's like The first dude's taking his shit. Well, that's very funny. You shouldn't just gloss over that.

Because what does he say? Let's see what he says. Well, let's get to the jokes. Sure. Excuse me. It's what the guy on the toilet says. Uh-huh. To which she replies. What does she reply? Like, oh, you smell bad or something. Oh, no. You got to check to see if you're still alive.

Oh, you smell so bad. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a pulse. The jokes here are it's like she's just opening the door like automatically. Yeah. Yeah. She's just going right in. We get to see the, the, the nudity of the movies right here. The only moment of real nudity in this movie

is right here. It's this in Mendoza's house briefly. Right, but like she opens it up and these two people are getting down to some fucking coitus, dude, it's happened. I think she goes get it girl. She goes, mm, get it girl. And she's like watching the fucking and I rewound it

just to see, just to understand the context. Sure. To see, you know, what the girl was going to get. Yes. It. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to see if I can see it. Unfortunately, I think it's obscured by her body. Yeah, it is. I think, I don't think he took it out, honestly. But I mean, it's got to be under there somewhere. Under

his flesh-colored, on-set banana hammock he had. Oh, my God. Should we just start wearing that down the street? Sure. It's worth some flesh-tone stuff. Yeah, people in this neighborhood would love that, actually. And then so she goes to the third room, third time's a charm. Here's the mafia.

Johnny Cap, John Capadis, from a million things, including Ace Ventura's, like one mafia guy that never comes back? Oh, I think I heard a turtle flush. A toilet flush. Somebody lost at turtles. I wish he fucking returned to this movie. I think he even says to the other

guy, he's like, I'm going to go get him or something like that. He's never seen again. We get, uh, we also get a we also get this other guy who introduces himself as Chow Yun Fat, which I guess is a joke. Though the joke is. Well, the joke is more racist than that. It's very racist, right?

You know what that means? Because he's like a you know, a kung fu guy or whatever, but what is it shame says yeah you come with an egg roll and miso oh boy

yikes I would leave Chinese egg roll Japanese soup appetizing I would also leave chalyin fat out of it if you're doing a terrible job being an in action yeah totally

but to answer your question Andrew maybe it's a fusion restaurant of some sort oh actually that can be this fusion restaurant in his head I guess so the other so the guy that says chow Yun fat is

pony tan guys. Because ponytail guys got some presence in this movie and not enough ponytail guy. No, he comes back. He beats him up, right? That is him that comes back. Ponytail guy comes back like at the end of the movie. There is some beating that happens there.

But that of course, look at like a million bucks by the way, Sven Olithorson. Oh, God. That's right as hoodlum number four I guess. Uncredited. Come on. He's got dialogue too. It's awesome. So like, uh-oh, like a fucking bad bachelor party. Here comes shame bursting out of this cleaning woman.

cart. Oh, and there's he's, he does the double guns. That's Shames thing. He loves the double and as a kid I fucking fell for it. I thought that was so cool. Dude, double guns gets you man. I got got by Bruce Willis and Last Man Standing. He does some double guns in that movie. It's cool as far.

I love double guns. Double guns. What's better than one gun, two guns? And then when I would get to be playing Golden Eye 64 double guns. You get them little silver ones? You're playing like Bruce Willis. I wish people could see you acting this out right now. It's beautiful. No, think of me. And then they can make doing some shoot-em-up guns with my fingers.

They're very good. Those are good double guns. But that's the thing is like he's just, even like here, like the, not even the racist part of it, but that like comes with egg rolls. It's just flat as shit. It's flat as shit right here. He kicks Sven all in the nuts and he goes, say hi to Arnold for me. Hello. Oh, wait.

Cut. I know him. He said to say hi to Arnold. So I said hi to Arnold. You know I'm not playing me. I'm playing a guy in the movie. My character doesn't know Arnold I know Arnold. Okay, okay

Say hello to Damon Wayans who you also know. You know Diamond Wayans and I know Arnold so that you say hello to your brother, I'll say hello to my sort of brother. Yeah, but I guess the joke there is it's just a big guy because the audience probably

wouldn't know that. He hears his, because he says like one or two sentences so you get the accent if you can hear it over all the cool karate chops that are happening. Right, he says something like, yeah, I'm good to kill your ass or something. Yeah, kill your, I think that's exactly what it is. Saying hi to Arnold for me.

Hello, Sasha, I keep doing, every time he does it, I want to say hello to Arnold. I just not saying hi to Arnold. That's what we do. I see Arnold that say, hey Arnold. And he says, oh, hey, Sven oh, hey, can you get me in that Keenan Ivory Wayans pick? Hey, Sven. Look, I could play a thug

of some kind, right? Like, let's say, how about this? Shame's got to go get his car washed and turns out he goes to a crooked car. And this is the cold open of the movie, Michael. It's a crooked car wash and I'm working in the crooked car wash. And I say shame. And then I start

fighting him to see. What if you know, in the middle of the movie when he gets a haircut for no reason and it looks really cool? What if I'm giving him the haircut, you understand? And I give him a rat tail. See, you'd be like, wow, what's going on? Here's this big guy giving to this

cool black guy, a haircut. But And then, uh-oh, cool black guy with a rat tail, even cooler, have to say. And you're going to think I'm going to attack him with those knives and scissors, but I'm just actually just giving him a nice haircut. And I actually think it looks pretty sharp. And then the line is I go, hey, shame, cool looks. And then he leaves my barber shop. And maybe we flash on the screen of Braxis so people understand how cool it looks on the right guy.

Jesse, actually, I was only told to say hello to all. Not to you. Well, sometimes somebody will come up to me and say I was thinking about Arnold, but I'm running into you. Hey, if you see Arnold tell him, I said hi. Hello. A lot of the times they do. Sorry, every time someone says it to me. No, now I'm just telling you a story, Mr. Ben, that's not even, we're not even giving direction.

I'm not keen in ivory way and. Okay, sorry. I got lost. Poor fucking Arnold, right? Oh, no, now it's Ralph Mueller as well. Hello, Arnold. I have some hellos to give you. One is from Mackey and I have Rewans.

One is from Becky. She lives in Wisconsin. She's here on Los Angeles on vacation. Yeah, they have to find some other way to put answering messages down on the machine other than the cassette tape. Sven Ol is just running out of my machine tape every week with the ALOs. Oh, this is fantastic. This is a good idea.

I'm going to replace my answering machine with Sven Olie Thorson. Just go to Sven and tell him what you want to tell me. Sven Olsen messaging. service? Yes. Amazing. He also does wake-up calls. I need to be on set early, so Sven calls me. I know the doctor called. It's not looking good. What is the prognosis?

Oh, man. Yeah, so it's kind of like a big fight here for two seconds. Multiple Mexican stand-ups in this movie, including right here. The action isn't bad. The action itself, I think. Am I wrong here? There's some good moments. But there never feels like there's an exciting, like lengthy enough sequence, if that makes sense. There's, like, some cool fights like here and there and, like, maybe a shootout, but it feels like just when, like, the shootout might be getting good. Yeah.

It's kind of just over with. It's, like, choreographed okay, but there's, like, not enough thought put in behind it. Like, when he fights Divov at the end, it's pretty good. It's pretty good, but it's also pretty, like, that's it is a little. It's also weird, like, we both have guns right here. Why are we dropping them to fist fight? Like, it's the end of lethal weapon. Honor, baby.

Oh, sure. It does get shot into a fish tank, which I enjoy. Oh, isn't that great? Love a fish tank. Can we do this? I know the firing squad is back. Do we like that guy up down in South? I guess South Carolina, they lit someone up.

They lit them up, dude. Did that happen? Yeah, that guy was executed by firing squad. Which is fine, whatever. Can you do that with me with a fish tank behind me? Like, if I get sentenced to that, can I add a fish tank? Dude, things to fall back. into as you're assassinated?

Maybe some dubs fly out too? I mean, again, that's, you can just take some, maybe you got some pillows in there, like true romance that explode? Exactly. I mean, that could be the thing, right? It's like, you're sentenced to death by firing squad. Oh, bummer. And then it's like, pick the movie in which you get blown away during, you know what I mean?

And you have to live stream it to my family in slow motion because that was going to look so cool. Your brother's crying. That is pretty cool. Right. With the doves flutter away? God damn John Wu directed my brother's execution. It was fucking great.

It might be worth dying for it. Might be better than some recent John Wu output. You never know. That's for sure. So after Sven all was shot into this fish tank, the rest of this fucking Mickey Mouse Gumba squad here started like give chase. I do like the, he's like running into this restaurant

and the guy's like, oh, will you be dining with us today, sir? And it's some sort of I got to take it to go line and he jumps out this window. And apparently Jada Pickett's, like Jada Pickett is downstairs. She's picket here. I think she's still Smith still. I think she still has the Smith of the name. Yeah. Are they still together?

What happened with that? I don't follow People magazine, TMZ. They're not together, but they're not divorced. Right. So it's one of those. Like him with Scientology. Yeah, exactly. Pretty much.

I think that's one foot in one foot out. Smart. She's downstairs in some limo. with the guy who hired, because we should say he's not a cop, he's a private detective. Yes. And I think this white guy hired them

to get these diamonds back. We've got diamonds were what was being exchanged here. What you want in your movie is there to be a lot of, I think, going around. I think that's what this guy is. Dude, I was Stone Cold Sober and I had subtitles on it. This is the best I can do.

But this dude is like, you said he was going to be out here by now. Where is he or whatever? And he crashes through the skylight of this limousine. Uh-huh. Yep. Completely unscathed. And it's weird because it's like this movie isn't doing a parody of these movies.

This movie is just one of those movies, but you're doing insane shit like that where he falls 40 feet through a limousine skylight. It should have just been a loaded weapon, a last action hero. I'm going to get you suck up, but it was actually this. And or like lean into maybe the black exploitation element of it. Like you're talking about shafts so much. Yeah.

Just do it a little. Yeah, I don't know what I mean? Like have a little. bit of fun with it. But he doesn't have the presence of Richard Roundtree to do that badass shit that Richard Roundtree did for three movies at least, you know? I think that that's what he's trying to do is like be badass and it's

just, it doesn't work. I mean, I would say, who do you think is the best Wayans actor? It's probably Marlon. Yeah. Sure. Because Marlins really hit with some of that dramatic stuff. I mean, he's great in Reckman for a Dream. He was really good in the Sophia Copeland movie that nobody saw because he went to Apple on the

rocks. Okay. He plays Jesus, I can't even think of who the pro, oh, what's her name? Oh, let's do it now. Rashida Jones. Okay. They are married in the movie. Oh, cool. And he's not in it a ton, but he's

actually pretty good at it. I would say it's either him or maybe, maybe a Marlin. A Damon. A Damon situation. Where I got major pain was pretty sharp. I think it's probably Marlon, Damon, and then like, I guess Kim. I don't know. Well, Sean,

Okay. Damon Wayans Jr. is very funny. Oh, that's true. Yes, yeah, it's true. He's doing a show with Damon Wayans. I don't know if it's still on. It's like, look how crazy my dad is the show. I think it's on CBS. One of them was on my wife and kids. Was that Damon? That was Damon Wayans, I believe, was my wife and kids. Saw a bunch of that. Sean and Marlin were the Wayans brothers. And then he was also, Damon Wayans was also speaking of the lethal weapon TV show for a little bit. Remember that? Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, that had all sorts of, like, production shit because, like, the other guy sucked. The other guy left or something. Right, yeah, someone left. Riggs was gone, and Mertah was just like, I guess it's the Mertat show. But the dude who played Riggs, I think, had, like, some issues on, like, nobody liked him. Riggs was supposed to die in the first draft of two. Right. I like to go do that reality.

Now we're talking. They may have done, but I remember. The Calvin timeline of lethal weapons. Because the guy playing Riggs left, and then they did the show, they brought in a, Another rigs? Just a dude who was like a rigs replacement, I feel. And then they're like, no, this is absolutely canceled. Dash Reddard, yes.

And Dash Reddard as almost rigs. We go to the low down dirty shame offices, which apparently like it's your classic. Oh, you know, he's always three months behind on his rent. And he's living upstairs, definitely. Of course. But this place is gorgeous. It's a cool pad. It really is.

It's too much. It's like a startup place, like a startup office for like a tech company. completely like arcade games yes exactly absolutely and there's a bunch of like cool like neon lighting all over the place the like garage door opens up so he can like drive his car in and like it's still like even the garage looks cool i don't know he's bothering jada picket smith so much with their fucking house like just to hang it at this place it's where you live well it's apparently it might be foreclosed upon so there's a lot of legal troubles a lot of money troubles he gets a bill for the limos roof or whatever

oh sure yeah it's he finds out that all the damage that he caused on that case is being deducted from his private investigator pay or whatever I do like this gag of jaded pinkett is on the phone with this woman who I think is also just voiced by Kim Wayans and she is yeah for sure

and it's like this really like dramatic sounding thing and it sounds like a serious conversation and then I love the cut and you realize that they're both watching a soap opera at the same time that's very fucking funny she's the I mean like head and shoulders the best part of this movie yeah

probably yeah yeah because she she gets she gets what the movie should be and there a lot of people are just doing what the movie could be yeah which is whatever but like what the movie should be is everyone at her level exactly right like what you're talking about it's like she gets the tone this

everyone should be matching that it's unfortunate that the director is the lead actor because then you can't really course because you think what you're doing is right right but yeah You look at that guy and you're like, well, he's doing it that way and that sucks. And he's directed the damn thing. He should have had another director or he should have just not acted in it.

It's so great. She's just like, oh, I can't believe, like watching these characters like at a funeral or whatever. It's like, oh, I can't believe this, you know, especially since she's such good people, you know, it's very funny. And he comes in and I do like the logo up on the sign here. If you can't call the cops, it's a low down dirty shame. There you go. He should be investing in local TV commercials, though. Absolutely.

There should be one cutaway where shame has done a commercial for his. And he's even more stilted in that to show that he's like somehow. That will be a low down, dirty shame. Exactly. Cut. I thought I'm supposed to call a cut. Yeah, well, we really needed to call a cut. A fire started.

But yeah, this is, you know, we get a lot of the relationship. Between the two of them here, Peaches is trying to win $10,000 off the radio so she can't turn it down. And he's giving him shit about dressing and looking like garbage for all your big cases. Everyone keeps saying this. You look like shit. And I'm like, later in the movie, when he gets a makeover, which makes no sense, he looks better, but he looks fine.

He just, he doesn't. He shaved the beard into a goatee. He gave himself a little bit of a haircut and then he put a jacket on. He got it does the same makeover that Cisco eventually gets on deep space. nine, which we will be covering on Patreon for a change, a deep space nine month coming up. That's right. Yeah, he does look particularly smoother at the end of that show. But so, you know, it's like, oh, on hard times.

Your classic thing where he's like, oh, Peaches, I don't think I can pay you this one. Well, I can't fucking work this one. I never understand it in movies and TV with like, sorry, I can't pay it. It's like, well, I guess I'll just hold on. Like, no, yeah, goodbye. guess I'll keep coming to work for free. Totally. And she's cool with it. She's like, oh, whatever. Shame. I know you're good for it.

Well, she's trying to fuck them. She's desperately trying to fuck them. True. Yeah, that's true. And I feel like it's a scotch unbelievable that they've, like, worked this whole time. And this hasn't happened yet. And the movie, yeah, the events of the movies will get them together ultimately. Right. But like, if you want to fuck your boss and he's not paying you, just direct deposit into this. You know what I'm saying?

Uh-huh. Do you want to do pay periods for that? Get it, girl. Get it girl indeed. Eric says get it, girl. Yes, of course. I say that all the time. He's walking down the street.

Get it, girl. Dude, I am always hyped to blow up a public makeout session with a loud, get it. Oh, wow. I will do it. You've done that? No way. For years of my life. And you've lived?

Of course. Because everyone's humiliate. Do they look? I think a lot of the time they don't care. Right. Oh, they just go. It's going to do it anyway. I mean, you're getting it.

Why interrupt the getting it? Right, exactly. Like, they're just like, hey, that guy's into it. That guy's going to it. They look over your jacking off in public. So speaking of the things that happen in the movie, Charles S. Dutton comes in, and he is an old cop friend of shames here, and he has the crazy news that Mendoza is still alive. Oh, no, Mendoza's dead.

What are you talking about, Charles S. Dutton? No, no, no. When you killed him, did you check for a pulse? Did you just get the hell out of there? Like this vague operation in Mexico that ruined his career or whatever. How about that is the cold open? Thank you. Yep.

Like it's a boat exploding. There's something going on there. Totally. And then you do like seven months later or whatever. Because it also like they piecemeal it out the whole movie of like what went down in Mexico. And it actually never makes a ton of sense. No. Whereas if I know it in the beginning, I'm like, oh, okay, all these guys went down.

Shabe took the blame and like he killed Mendoza. Wait, Mendoza's not dead, huh? Yep. By the way, second Mendoza of the month on it in the line of fire, our Patreon full episode is Tobin Bell. Tobin Bell is Mendoza in that. So we got two, it's Mendoza Month. Two, two white Mendoza's this month. That's right.

This is not the first time, though, that, uh, that, uh, Andrew Jivoff has played a Latin American. Is that right? Previous episode, Toy Soldiers. Oh, right. Oh, is he playing a fucking Latin dude in that movie? He's the lead batty. Oh, sure. And what is the Wishmaster, Persian?

Yeah, I guess he'd be first. Something like that. He's played it all, though. Yeah, he's one of those. It's like the Tony Shaloup thing where it's just like whatever. He's got dark hair. He can play it out. He can play it all.

So Charles S. Dutton sort of says, hey, shame, like, if you get back on the case, like, this is your chance to get even or whatever. To which, like, I guess he agrees because there's a movie, but we don't see it because there's a Star Wars wipe that happens right here. Wausa. And it just goes to hit, it like wipes and then it's like shame and peaches

in the shot and peaches like, so where do we get started? How do we start this movie? Somebody better, it's been 20 minutes. And he's like, you got to go because basically what's happened Angela, this woman that shame was also involved with and Mendoza, that's never clear who fuck who went.

Yes, the love triangle with Andrew Diffon. interesting choice for the film. Absolutely. And apparently, like, shame and Angela were engaged to be married. Sure. They weren't just fucking. They were betrothed. So, wow. So he was, okay, well.

She's back in town, and he knows what brand of perfume she likes, you see. So the idea is he's going to send peaches to that store and, like, just sniff around to find out some information. Yes. She takes, it's the old gag of, here's money to get

some information, and she's like, this is Beverly Hills, 20 is not going to get me anything. So the gag of you just take everything out of his wallet and run away. Right, she does say, give it up Big Daddy, which I do like. It was a good line. Get it, girl, yeah, for sure. Get it girl. Hey, Big Daddy, get it, girl.

Absolutely. Look at that Big Daddy. Get it, girl. Get that big daddy. There's this great reshoot scene that, like, I was confused as to why. Because he's got a totally different haircut. He's got, like, a mushroom haircut for one scene. Like, it's just.

Who, Keene and everyone? Yes. Really. In this, like, I have to get information. Oh, when he goes to the police. station and he's talking to this other guy about like having sex with a paraplegic woman. Yes. Oh my God. I would

got extensive notes on that. Oh good. Let's get all the fucking sweet quotes from this. Oh my God. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? It's not there. He needs a file and he's like you got to get the proper paperwork. He's trying to like he goes to a police station. Yes. He's talking to a cop He's talking to a cop on a desk and

well you you hooked me up with Sheila and she was in a wheelchair. Uh-huh. And And then he says, you hit it, though, right? Don't sleep on the handicapped. And then the cop is like, I did wear the wheels out. Wow. That's a, that's a low down dirty shame for you.

So this dude's like, okay, like you can look at these files. And he's like, oh, I got to, can you make some copies? This dude is like, no, you can just take the whole police file shame. And he's like, okay. fine here man i got you some theater tickets i got a hook up here's some theater tickets you know take a lady out or whatever what's the joke here gary coleman is mr bowl jangles is the production they're going to see great yeah this movie should be shitting on anybody Gary gary colman would make this movie better oh absolutely Gary coleman should be playing this

fucking police lieutenant instead of this other guy who's been in a million things this should be playing shame i think that's why this is a reshoot because they did set this guy up properly because he's like kind of important and he's not in the... Yes, he's like, shame damn you. It feels like scenes delete. Yes. It's a bird.

It's a plane. It's a 50 year old Puerto Rican guy. Yeah. That's another just... And I don't get it because like... Again, he's fucking funny. He's fucking funny. Like, why is this...

Why is the inability to say the funny? Because I feel like he's trying to do like that cynical ex-cop kind of archetype, but it doesn't play here. just it cuts into and kills the comedy every time. Right. Like, look at how Bruce Willis delivers those type of lines. Like, there's an angle to them.

Yes, exactly. So he goes, Gregory Sierra. Yes. Previous episode, Vampires. He played Father Giovanni. Yep. He's also a deep cover, which is a great movie. Hell yeah.

Way better movie. Oh, my God. Yeah, that dude got around. And he's kind of fine here because he's sort of playing the screaming chief thing. Yes. everybody kind of knows what they're doing and except for you know just okay except for the writer-director uh so we go to the store and this is peaches is decked out in all the like shows

or the the stores yeah logo is all over like everything she's wearing she looks like a fucking walking billboard for this store and he goes looks like salt and pepper had a garage sale and like again that's something that you would have made funnier in literally any other movie like he was sold that line you know maybe he's not doing it his classic gay voice. Oh, that's coming up. Oh, that's actually coming up right now. Because she's got all this stuff

and then she's like, I got stuff for you. Shame, I got you a tie and some silk underwear here. And I'll tell you what, this was, you know, the early 90s, silk undies equal gay. It's gay. It's fucking gay to be comfortable to give your balls a fucking

break is gay. That's right. You got to work those balls over time. And he just said, it's not, it's not the 11 that we get later in the movie. but it's just kind of the effect. You can hear it's the effect tone is kind of coming and he's talking about the tie. Oh, I've got to wear these together.

Yeah. God fucking damn the 90s. What was the big and loving? It was him and Damon Wayans, right? They were like... Of the movie critics. Yes, that's what it was movie. Two snap.

No. It was him and David Allen. It was Damon and David Allen Greer. It was Damon and David Allen Greer, I think. And it was that was the two snaps and a twist. Yes. What, like, they shouldn't have been doing it, but those characters were more.

more warmly treated than you'd expect them to be. Also, like a TV sketch, I'll give more leeway than a feature film. Yes. Well, this is when she sees like, and it's kind of weird, like, this should come back a third time, because we've talked about she's obsessed with this, uh,

a soap opera bit. This is where she can't distinguish reality from fantasy. I mean, she's literally insane. She beats, oh my God, it's Chad from as the heart turns or whatever the fuck. That's exactly what the show, the fake show is called. And she runs up to him and he's like,

Oh, hey, you wanted an autograph. Just you fucked with the Laura or whatever and just punches this dude out. This dude goes over a railing and falls through a table. Hell, yeah. So you just killed that soap opera star, Peaches. You're going away for a while. I mean, you go to jail for an assault anyway, man.

Like, this crazy lady. They should weave her into the show, right? Like a crazy woman is attacking the character of chess. It's just nuts that they don't have shame. Like, because the opportunity for the joke is there, right? Shame is like, hey, Peaches, you know that's a show, right? Yeah. and she's like her her personality is so elevated and wacky that she's like oh i just get so excited

about my stories they're like whatever it is but it is it is gone unremarked upon for the rest of the film because she watches soap operas at home and we see that a little later and that's just a character trait and i guess since we're luckily in los angeles we can attack one of these people do you think uh andrew got shit uh when he broke up with alison like you're like i can't put Here's your salad, Mr. Shoe, I can't believe you fucking broke open there after she got me left. You fucking piece of shit.

She was diddled by her father. That's the fucking show, sir. I'm trying to have a buffalo chicken salad here, okay? First of it, she's no angel, okay? We'll ever get into character. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Allison, come on.

Where do I start with that cold-hearted shrew? These fans, these fans go to 11. sometime. Oh, don't walk away. You started this. I'm going to tell you what Billy really thinks. No, no, no, no. There is something too where a character, like an actor is known for just a character, so you identify

them as that. So whenever I see Andrew's shoe, I do want to punch him. Sure. Because I only know him as Billy Campbell, who I do not like. That's why whenever somebody sees Dylan Baker, they hold their kid's hand extra tight. Exactly. And it's not fair. It's not

a nice guy. I don't. But you know he's got a rolled-up tiger beat in that jacket. Absolutely. Just in case anyone wants an autograph, he's got something to write on. It was one movie, God damn it. Oh, my God. It was 1998. I was just trying to put food on the fucking table.

Oh, yeah, I'll sign your autograph. Okay, no, I need something hard surface to write on. Oh, this magazine's too thin. Oh, my erections right here. Let me just put that there and use that as a table. Hi, this is Dylan Baker, and you ordered a cameo from me. And so for $350, I have to say, no, David, I'd just jerk off. Happy birthday, David.

Hi, David. It's me, Dylan Baker, your next cameo. Hope there's no blood in your BM. That's also from happiness. L.O.L. Stay safe out there, guys. Oh, okay, this is a birthday wish for Kyle. And Kyle, I'm just going to say, the whole thing with the come and the postcard was Phil Hoffman.

That wasn't me. Happy birthday, buddy. just let this poor man play the lizard people might have forgotten happiness you're totally right that is exact that is the inflection point he would have been like totally fine but do you think that they think their issue is like

he was in Spider-Man or whatever then they're just like yeah so I looked at the rest of his films I don't know if we want to be as Sony we don't want to put that front and center in our movies they're both villains yeah

she combined the both well think of it this way for like non for non keyed in to cinema people Willem Defoe is just the green goblin yes no but like non-cinema people

aren't digging beneath the surface of that shit yeah and it would have been the same here he would just be the lizard to people instead of that dude that would just jerk off because in 2002 you could have found his huge cock somewhere online yeah sure audio oh it's it's that autofocus happen yet

auto focus probably it was the odds right You were going to follow Spider-Man with having sex with Bob Crane or whatever. There's a group group. So shame goes to see some former Mendoza associates at this Mexican restaurant. This guy Luis, who again, this guy, Luis, is in a comedy. Yes. Because this guy's getting his ass kicked.

He's getting his balls bit by dogs. The end of the movie where he should be dead, he's in like a body cast almost. You know what's actually, I mean, like, it's kind of nuts to. say this, but I think, just thinking about, like, other movies that are like this, that are, like, right on that comedy action pivot, Jim Belushi does a better job in, like, canine, you know what I mean? I agree, I agree, yeah.

He's not likable, but at least, like, he's like, there's a perspective to his character. Yes, you know what I mean? By the way, auto focus and Spider-Man, both the same year. Is that right? Isn't that beautiful? Wow. And two was the year, man. I like that. I like that a lot. I love that. Spider-Man, too, was was two thousand two or spider man one

was two thousand two got it okay you know I have got these two movies coming out one's with Ramey who I love another was Paul Schroeder who I also love I don't know which one's gonna be a bigger hit I mean Bob crane come on everybody remembers how it's hero it's a fantastic film

Spider-Man never even heard of it group group God I gotta rewatch that now you do it I really want to it's an excellent movie that's a movie that has been criminally underrepresented on a high definition home mirror. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't even think it's had a Blu-ray release. It's just one of my creepy VHS tapes on this tripod.

Yeah, you can borrow it from me. Murderously bad voiceover structure, that's the only problem with it. It's just like, hi, I'm Bob Crane. You might know him, and I'm going to go, oh, get the fuck out of here. That's great. That's instead of, like, him keeping a journal. Exactly, yes. I don't have a desk to write on, so I'm just going to talk to you through this whole movie. But so, yeah, he's, and again, look.

he's kind of shame is kind of racist to everybody you know what i mean well that's that kind of that's the equal opportunity offender thing he's just like oh tortilla this and that he's a free speech warrior this is what we can do now tell mandosa i know he's still alive blah blah and this is where he just launches into and like it's not addressed in any real way the audience just has to go oh okay so like shame kind of does kung fu a little bit yeah it's all right and again it's decent fight choreography but it doesn't sort of, you know, just, you know. It just... Buenos Nocha's shitheads.

This is one of those movies where it just feels like things just happen. Yes. It's not like all building anything. No, because the goal is, do I look cool doing this? Do I look cool? Do it look sexy look at this? Oh my God, look at it. You know what? It's such a vanity project. Can we roll that back? I just want to see how cool that looked. All right, let's amplify the coolitude a little more.

Oh, actually, Keenan, there's a phone call for you. Hi, it's a, it's Sven. I just, I just, I said, I said, hello to Arnold Keenan, but he did not say hello back. But I wanted to let you know that he didn't say hello back to you. It was one-sided hello. It wasn't the total ignore, though. He said, that's nice. So take that as you will, my friend. I got to go. I've got hundreds of these calls to me. Also, if you need me to film any scenes, they will be inevitably deleted. Let me know. Mendoza shows up back at Shames' pad right here, I think.

This is some bad editing. He just goes right from this thing to back home. And then Mendoza, like, hits him over the head. And, like, all of a sudden, Divoff's just in the movie. Yes, Dvost is just in the movie. They say that he's got, like, facial reconstructive surgery or something. He looks like he should be menacing the rocketeer in this movie. Like, this is the pencil stint massage.

Yes, that's what does it? Oh, dude. Where to go. Oh, what a poll for the Rocketeer. Lusely based on Aero Flynn, yeah. Is that a... What, the movie? The character in the movie.

The bad guy. Because the bad guy's a actor with the pencil thin mustache. There was a book around the time, this unauthorized biography claiming, Errol Flynn was a Nazi spy, became the basis for the villain. Oh, I didn't know that.

Oh, that's pretty good. Educational show, right? That's what the ease for. Is that movie, speaking of a high death... Has that movie, like, come out in Blu-ray and all sorts of things? I'm not sure, but it should. It's a Joe Dwell. Johnston picture. I think it has

I don't know about 4K. We probably stream it on Disney Plus, I believe. Oh, didn't you rewatch it recently? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe it was our pile of coats over here. Chris Cabin. The pilot coats might have done that. I mean, I might have done it during the pandemic, but I do not remember five years ago. Coming fall 2026, a well-built

cabin. Oh my God. It's scary. Sequel to a cabin in the woods. So this is just a quick scene to threaten him. He's like, oh, if you keep it up, you're going to find yourself buried six feet under. yada, yada, vague threats. But the weird part is, which we find out later.

And help me out here, everybody. So we find out that Charles S. Dutton is crooked. He's working for Mendoza. Correct. And Mendoza, and he is, Mendoza told him to hire Shane, right? Somebody told him to hire Shane. Or is it that Charles S. Dutton knows that if he hires shame on the basis of like, hey, you'll want this revenge, shame will do it.

do a better job than other people. It just, why get the guy that got you involved at all? Or just shoot this guy in the back of the fucking hand. Oh, that might be a good idea. Yeah, one of the other. Instead of hitting him and telling him, giving him a stern warning, shoot him in the back of the fucking head. Yeah, he's like, beaten with a couple of like rubber hoses by like Mendoza's dudes or whatever.

And I was like, it's right here. Just kill him. They don't need him for anything. What else DeVov looks like is Rao Julius stunt double. Yeah, yes, he does. This mustache. So he was the one doing the dancing. during the Mamushka.

That's right, yeah. All the far away cuts. Exactly. All the back flips. You know, in 40 years when Divoff dies, he's going to get, he's going to get Farina. It's just going to happen. That would be a low down dirty shame. That's what that would be.

That would be really the pits. I mean, everyone gets Farina these days. Can you believe it? Oh, my God. We used to be, we used to care about the dead. in this country. No, not anymore, do. Well, there's too many dead. That's the problem. And then there's not enough dead on the other side of things. Also true. Also true. Too many dead in some places. Not enough dead in other places. We gotta spread the dead around.

Exactly. Yes, exactly. So shame goes to Peach's house right here and he comes in all beat to shit. And she's like, oh, what happened to you? And this is the, I was partying with Rodney King and Reginald Denny joke. That's a real both sides joke right there, of course. Everybody could laugh at that one. Rodney King, we all know. Reginald Denny, of course, was the dude who was a truck driver during the riots, was beaten by four black dudes. It's like the beer summit of jokes.

It really is the beer summit of jokes. Ask your father what that means. If he remembers the beer summit. I don't remember the beer summit. It was Obama and there's a professor that, like, a police officer harassed for being black in his own house. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, Obama had to be like, oh, actually they're both.

both good and it's okay that the police officer was discriminating. They should totally bother our professor just for being black. Yes, exactly. So they all had a beer together. Oh, that's known as the beer. You might learn about this in AP history next year, kids. Oh, no, anything with Obama related? No, that's being erased from textbooks as we speak.

No, no, no, no. Forget that. He wasn't president. It was fake. First of all, textbooks is a very generous. We're going to coloring books. A texting book that is your iPhone. So, yeah, Peaches is like, this is the whole, like, she's coming on to him hard,

and I just don't know how shame has the resistance here. She's really laying it on, and it's truly Jada Pink in the 90s. Oh, dog. Going for it. Like, she's, you think he was, are you coming on to me? And, like, they tell their backstory. It's a very, like, Star Warsian tale where, like, he caught her, he caught her shoplifting, And then they became, like, friends together.

She owes him like a life debt now or something like that. Like, just like a wookie. Exactly. Yeah, but it is also coming with that weird thing of like, well, yeah, Peaches, I've known you since you were a 16-year-old girl. Yeah. And he's like, I mean, he even says in this scene, I remember when you were an adorable 16-year-old girl.

And now you're a sexy 22-year-old woman. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Six years just flies by. I was going to say that's not a lot of times. It's waiting for the peaches to get ripe, I guess, is what he was trying to do. That's the idea. And so she's like, why didn't, why didn't we ever get down?

Yeah. When they're ripe, they get real juicy. You can eat them for hours. Oh, my God, they get, oh, this is pure wetness when you're biting with this. God damn it. It's a fruit. Get it, girl. It's a, it's a delicious fruit.

But so he's like, well, one of the reasons I haven't, you know, acted on this is because we don't have anything in common. This part is insane. Dude, she's like, we both like boxing. Let's just talk about boxing for a little bit in this movie. That's the thing. Sometimes it's like this ratatat dialogue is like, what if Clerks was an action movie? Yes. It's like, I don't want that.

Because the joke is like, who's your favorite boxer? She says, Mike Tyson, he's like, mine is Muhammad Ali. And she's like, oh, come on. He's like, Mike Tyson can't spell Muhammad Ali. Her retort was actually okay when it's like neither good. Which is humorous. But it's like, yes, it's. dumb. I'm not going to fuck this lady

because of our boxing. Hey, we don't like boxing. That's enough. Right. It might be fun to root it, you know, for various fighters against one another. And also, Muhammad Ali is famously retired at this point. And I think that Tyson was in jail too. So like, neither of these gentlemen are boxing at this point. I mean, because, I mean, the early

90s, it was like, it makes sense that boxing comes up because we still were, because of Mike Tyson, like, America cared about boxing still. Because I think it's what, when he was in jail, but before he bit Holyfield's ear off. That was the 97-98 kind of deal. He was known as not a great guy at this point, but he was

still right. At least he didn't say Jake Paul. Well, that's true. I guess he was just a cum state at this point. Just not even. He's just swishing around into balls. Dude, I wish that fucking failed to launch

those things guys. So I wish he wasn't born. Yeah. That's true. Both of them brothers are... Oh, I wish Jake Paul was never born. Yeah, Clarence. I'm not going to do shit about this now. Excellent. Thank you, Clarence. Do you want me to show you a world where Jake and Logan Paul were not born? Look at it. It's like a utop. It's a Jetson.

Flying cars. Oh, geez. That's really great. I think they shouldn't be born. Oh, shit. This is one of the greatest things I've ever wished for. Take that, Paul, brothers. Hold on. This doesn't make any sense. My dick is. bigger in this universe. How does that make any sense? I guarantee that these two little boys wouldn't

be born 60 years later, and now my cock's huge. And my ears better too. I guess Mr. Gower didn't box it in. No, that's right. You boxed him in. Oh, my goodness. Thanks for everything, nonexistent Paul brothers! Oh my God,

I wish. So the whole scene sort of ends here with him being like, hey, so I'm going to crash in your roommate's bed and she's like, okay yeah that's fine girlfriend won't be home for a little while he's like oh well is girlfriend going to be cool with fine and a half naked man

in her bed oh girlfriend's not going to have a problem with that this cow by the way this couch could sleep seven you know what I mean like it's a big cool couch so just fucking sleep on the couch and don't bother the goddamn roommate no well we wouldn't be able to have this hilarious sequence of events though over that

where true he wakes up you see the leg over him and you're like okay and it goes up And then it's like, oh, there's a woman. And he rolls over and Shane's like, oh, sorry, baby, I got a ball. And you see, like, the wig falls off, which is so stupid because this dude would not be going to bed in the wig. No, sure. So fucking whatever movie, it's just for this bad joke.

He starts screaming. And then here's this dude Wayman. Yeah, Corwin Hawkins, who passed before the movie was. The movie's dedicated to the end of the credit. I got to say the end of the credits is where it's dumped. Not at the front, but at the end of it, the movie's dedicated to him. I think he's got a good presence. I think he's pretty funny in the movie.

He's got some lines. He was a Def Jam comic apparently. There you go. But then, I mean, he's, Keenan's got these lines against him, like, you better have some tits or you're going to die. Yes, or you're going to do that. That's bad.

The homophobia, the gay panic here is just absolutely. It's like three scenes long. And then, like, you know, because this scene is this scene, which goes on forever. And then there's like a long breakfast scene where they're just going back and forth, about it. And you just wish you were watching the breakfast scene of the bird cage. Exactly.

And then like, you know, she's got, she's like trying to play like referee to them. I'm going to go take a shower and pretend I didn't wake up in the crying game is what he says. Right. You got that. I love that joke, dude. Wayman has a line here that's kind of funny. He goes, well, oh yeah, well, you were cruising in your sleep last night. You started speeding. Uh-huh. And that's cruising as in the, uh, the gay term. And that's, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's funny fucking back to him which is great uh but yeah actually it's kind of funny that this seed kind of plays like any which way but loose but with a gay person instead of a monkey because he just wakes up oh there's someone in my bed it must be a sexy lady like again if you wake up i don't know

when people someone's fondling you you're like hey hey hey what the fuck unless you're into it dude unless you're i wish he would embrace his lifestyle and then he could like take him to go get laid like Pliny Swift takes the monkey to get laid in that movie. Come on, We're going to a cool bar and getting you laid. How about him? Go talk to him. Come on. He's cute.

Do it. Oh, look. Hey, Wayman, this guy over here has got a shaved chest. That's pretty cool. The idea of a... Why don't you rub it? Supportive straight friend Clint Eastwood. I love that idea.

Would that be great? It would be a great movie. Totally. I'm an ally This is funny because it's so impossible Yeah exactly It's totally impossible It's like a thin me

It's just completely impossible Uh so peaches Go for that guy That guy I think is your type He wants it I could tell That twink's a looker Come on Wayman go for the twink

about the otter in the corner or the bear and what that one has a nacrechief what does that mean no i'm interested in your lifestyle i think it's wonderful wayman i'll run point with the bear so you can go talk to the otter i'll fall on the grenade i'll make out a grenade over there i'm gonna make out with the bear, so you don't have to. Just to be clear, though, I'm only an ally. This is all

for you. It's all for you, Wayman. It's all for you. That's a great movie. That's a great fucking movie. That's a great That would have got one of his last Oscars. There's still time. There is a 90-year-old at a gay bar. I think it's him.

He's sexy. Yeah. Do it. That's great. It's like Mason Verger coming in to help out. Oh, me like my scraggly beard. Oh, man. Yeah, I'd watch that movie.

Absolutely. Clinties with a supportive grandpa. I love it. Oh, no. My grandson's a twink. Let's be supportive by taking him out clubbing. Gay Torino. Gay Torino

Oh my gay Dorino Oh, so where are we at to go to the post office? Yeah, there's like a stupid thing You guys got a Jerry Curl and like she The Postman has Jerry Curl They find out that so-and-so Angela has a storage facility

Which will come up in later And he finds out where the perfume is so he's going to go to the store and, like, do his own shit, right? This is what he does the... He finds out, like, Jada is like, oh, something, something that phone number only went to an answering service. So he says to Jada, she's got a call pretending she's the store and saying, hey, we have some of that perfume you like back in stock, like come into the store, so then Keenan can go to the store and wait her out as the idea. And yes, this dude with the Jerry Curl who's like, because it's Jada Pinkett, what does he say? supposed to do about it. He's a fucking healthy,

living person. He's like, you know, hitting on her and whatever. And yes, he's got the very funny long jerry curl. And he's got the gold tooth. He's like, uh, you know, she's like, oh, get me out of the situation. Shane's like, oh, I got it. Oh, hey, my man, uh, my friend over here really has a crush on you, whatever. And this dude comes up. And he's, they do a cartoon sparkle on the gold tooth, which is very funny. And he's like, 14 carrot or whatever. And she's like walks away vomiting. It's very funny. Uh, but yeah, so he, he's,

this is Kim Wayans as like the haughty store owner Yes, Diane, the store owner here But basically he just tells her That she wins a contest, a radio contest So she closed her store early Well yeah, he like jerky boys her To get out of that store

Yeah, he's he's fucking around on the phone A little bit here This is the kind of the closest seem to do Like cool amusing detective work Yes Because he goes in and it's like D Her name tag says like D Cresenstein Or whatever it is

And she's like And he says oh Debra and she's like, oh, Diane, actually. So he gets the name and then he goes out. Did you see what's going on here, though? I don't think so. When you have Keenan Ivy Wains making this jerky boy's fake phone call, he's in one of two red British telephone boxes.

Weird. I don't know what this is supposed to be. Well, he's at a phone booth, which is odd for the time now, but I didn't know. But the British part, like, you know. Well, in a world where the Paul brothers don't exist. We all have British telephone. Oh, my God, we got the cool British phone boxes everywhere. There's a double-decker bus.

Thank you, not-existent Paul brothers. Oh, what's next? The Supersonics never moved. What I'm an amazing time to be alive. Hell yeah, but then the fucking cool t-shirt that you and I both have wouldn't exist anymore. Yeah, that's a sad story. That's too bad.

Well, I have it in the sweatshirt version. So it's a pretty good joke. It's the Seattle Supersonics logo, but instead of Supersonics, it says toss salad and scrambled eggs. Oh, wow. Yeah, so it's like a two-pronged. Very clever. Yeah.

that's why I bought it off of Instagram well that's pretty clear the fact that you could buy things off Instagram was a fucking crime oh totally totally um so yes so he calls back and he's pretending to be this radio DJ that he's just heard as he walks into the store so this is like

how thinking on his feet this character can be but it's only really in this one scene that this happens this way but so he goes out and he calls and he's like oh hey diane it's you know you just got to say what your favorite radio station is and she's like 82.3 Well, you won $10,000.

Now you have to get down here or whatever. Yeah, she does the freak out. I do love her kicking the two fucking old white ladies out of the store. Pretty funny. She just sort of runs off to go get this thing. And now he's there to, like, follow her. Because basically Kim Wayans puts like out to lunch or whatever store closed. So then Angela walks up here.

Oh, stores closed. She walks away. And then shame starts following her, basically. And she goes into a women's health club. And basically he can't get in because he, he's a man and like there's a stern woman's like women only but very surprised we didn't make more of a joke yeah because this lady's jacked as fuck working at this desk and I thought there was going to be some fucking cavewoman joke or some sort of sure horribly landing joke from shame right here no but it's more

gay men jokes because here comes wayman and wayman works there he works there and like his boyfriend comes to pick him up and oh bernard yes bernard and then like the bernard Keaton goes full Home record Fake gay voice here And does the whole thing Is like well we slept The same bed last night

Which is funny Because it's actually kind of true Not funny but it's not Yeah And then like basically Bernard like slaps There's a bunch of gay slapping Which is the big joke here

The slap that comes with the scream Yeah of course Yeah that's just part and parcel And then Bernard's gonna He's leaving and they're gonna break up Oh my God I can't believe Wayman and Bernard bro they were good together

I've been shipping them before they even met Shame that's totally fucked up You better call Bernard back after the scam and tell them you were just joking they were gonna move in together it was getting serious You have no idea what you've done shame no idea

I was so looking forward to that wedding Yeah I got Weiman on the other line right now He's destroyed But that is the idea Some ally you put out to me. That is the idea that shame will call Bernard afterwards and say it was a joke if you help me stalk this woman. That I also used to be involved.

But you don't even, this scene just goes no. It goes nowhere. You don't even see Wayman like go into the club and find her and say, hey, shame. I found her. None of that happens. It cuts to her at a hotel. Yes. And he's showing up.

There's another just fucking mouth breathing high school football quarterback playing this bellboy. And then, like, shame is behind this dude or whatever? Again, we skip three scenes, which, again, it's fine as we're 100. It's 100 flat, which is about 15 minutes too long. For sure. Oh, yeah. I needed this to be an 85 to 89 minute movie. He calls Charles S. Dutton, like, I got her.

Don't worry. And then, of course, now this is when we find out in the movie that Charles S. Dutton is crooked. Charles Dutton playing Rothmiller, by the way. Rothmiller is really something. Sonny Rothmiller. Sonny Rothmiller, yeah, totally. Anybody else, speaking of watching shows on the Fox that were going to also watch Rock?

Was that Charles S. Dutton's TV show that you had there? I never saw it. I watched the shit out of rock. What's that about? He's like an ex-con doing something? Yeah, he's... You don't even know, do you? I don't. It's forever. It's like a...

It was like a family sitcom. Oh, it was a sitcom. I thought it was a drama. But it was like all the family back when it was like a little bit like... Not to say that he was like an Archie Bunker type, but it was more that the drama and the comedy were going on at Oh, okay, got it, got it, got it. Yeah, I've vague recollections of, like, commercials for that show, but I never saw it. His name is Rock.

His name was Rock. They ever called the Rock. Okay. Speaking of the Rock, just to not talk about a lowdown dream for a second. Yeah, anything, please. Dude, so he posted a thing about how, like, working with Scorsese on this movie is, like, the greatest part of his career. What movies?

Was he in the wrestling movie? No, it's, uh, that's, you're thinking of the, um, the Safty movie. Okay. This is, it's something about, you know, in the 20th century, but the, the mafia it holds over this city, that's a blah, blah, blah, and apparently also a stronghold in Hawaii. So it's DJ, DiCaprio's in it.

It's a really happen. It's a movie that they're making, like right now. They're filming it. Is this going to actually exist? It's happening. Yeah, no, it's 100% half. It's so funny if you posted this that it never happened. No, they're making the movie. That's cool. Yeah, because I mean, like, Scorsese projects are like Marvel movies that never happened where it's just like, oh, he's doing Jesus, he's doing Sinatra. Yeah. Okay. I think it'll be

like post or maybe, current with making devil in the white city I don't know what's going on but he had a post the other day and he's like this has been amazing blah blah and I'm like man between this and the saffty he's like maybe you will learn you don't have to be the same fucking dunderhead every single performance

we'll see what happens a duenisots I'm into it yes please try sir so we do get this is the the quick thing here when Charles S. Dutton like calls divoff and he's like whatever I'm going to get him like this I'll have Angela soon or whatever we see divoff here at his pack

And this reminded me of whenever they would cut to the cartel in Better Call Saul. And it was just cool pool parties like this. We get some more babes, topless in the pool here. And then this dude, Luis comes up. And he's like, oh, you know, don't fail me this time. Or, you know, it's one last time for you, Louise, like, go finish the job or whatever. And they go. And it's just your climate.

We get a fun Robert Schimel cameo. That was surprising. Dude, Bob Schimel and this other women were both, like, just standups at the time here. but yeah we're trying to get out of the hotel oh people are on the way I think shame right here sort of deduces that Charles S. Dutton might be crooked he's like oh people are here already or whatever he's talking to her and she's like oh no I've been in witness protection forever and he's like oh you're in witness protection wait what that's right because he's saying like as an offer like hey you know me and

Charles S. Dutton can get you witness protection and she's like get your facts straight I've been in witness protection for ages and then he sort of puts it together like oh crap he's trying to screw me so then it's like we're trying to get out of this hotel and it's like how are we going to do without them seeing us or whatever and then they pretend to be this other couple so it's like so it's a sex worker played by rene hicks who was a stand-up sort of around this time yeah and then yeah the late rob shimmel um as the john here and yeah they just have like a little you know they have silly costumes on so then here comes Angela and shame wearing

the silly costumes to get out of the hotel and he's like overselling this by kissing her and squeezing her ass and she's like do I have to squeeze my ass and he's like yes yes you do or like just go with it or something and here is Luis

with the great Thomas Rosales Jr., the other guy in the car who's this stuntman actor who has been in the 195 thing holy shit yeah he's in like everything he's his known for is he's in commando he's in speed nice he looked familiar he's in swat he was what's his credit on speed uh he's uh he's uh just known as vince i forget bus guy too yeah he's uh he also he gets stomped in the

field in uh lost world Jurassic park oh sure yeah that guy oh okay okay oh cool yeah so this is yeah they're giving some chase here and this is shame is driving this like big ass car or whatever and like they they're in a taxi cab they've stolen and shame like drives over it's he's in like a big jeep yes right basically turns to do a monster truck which again as a kid I was like that's pretty cool because that's the kind of goofy shit should that should be like throughout this move yes but when like the goof tacular stuff comes right here and I'm like well all right I mean there was just this huge fucking scene two seconds ago because you think this is like a big heavy crime drama or whatever and he falls them over a hill

or whatever and they wind up at a burger place but they're just a lot they should be dead but I guess the joke is Luis keeps coming back is the idea again because like that's the comedy part of the script is like he's the character that's got nine lives which you've seen comedies before yes they uh shame after he drives over the cab

he backs up into it and pushes it off a cliff and it flips and flips and lands right side up in the drive-thru of a burger place and they're you know it's like can I help you and they're like what happened? It's sort of fun

but she shows up Peaches shows up at Shames here and she's like not thrilled that Angela's there and it's like you have to babysit Angela because I'm going to go to this cool club to check out Mendoza right here There's this long

sequence where Divoff goes ham on Charles S. Dutton about the deal and blah blah Because Charles S. Dutton shows up at the house like you fuck me Mendoza You guys fucked everything up Mendoza It doesn't he like threaten like I know everything I'll tell everyone or whatever

He really starts blowing it. I thought he was going to be killed right here, but instead he kills the henchman instead. Yeah, he's got a cool, is that a cool katana for something? Pretty badass. We are a low-down dirty shape. We're just throwing spaghetti at the wall. Yes. You've got Charles Suss-Dun he's yelling, I'm fucking Sonny Rothmiller.

And I'm like, I fucking don't care. He's DEA or something. Yes, he's a DEA agent. So that's sort of something. That's why he's a bad guy. Is this when, um, is this when, uh, Shay, gets a haircut? Is this? Yes, it's the montage. I wrote, Montage

of shame getting dressed and gunning up. Yep, so what do you want a fellow, a little off the top? Yeah, you're one going to go cue bald because you're back in action, right? Oh, definitely. Like Jordan, you know, after 89 when he shaved it, he got just so much better. Yeah, you get faster

when you're bald, trust me. Oh, by the way, Arnold did not say hi. Still waiting on that, Arnold, high reciprocation. I'll let you know when that comes in. I mean, I'd take it. a hay at this point. I do love that this guy has broke his shit.

He goes to some warehouse. It's like fucking men in black. Like all these guns are there. Is it a warehouse or is it another part of his apartment we haven't seen? Because this is where fuck knows. This movie's terrible with spatial relation. Right. But you've been seeing this is where it's weird too because you've been seeing

him drive around. We saw him use the garage earlier in the film. But then this is the reveal of the license plate. Yes. And I was like, wait, it was a shame mobile the whole time? driving her in a shitbox for most of the movie like it's a convertible but it's not this car and it's a different car it is and then he's got some fucking like I don't even know

like a Porsche was it the Blues Mobile charging in the fucking garage what is happening it does not make any sense God damn just sell the fucking car if you're having trouble dude like but he goes to the barbershop there and here's Luis again I think and he's like hey man you better

you better not blink or the last thing you're going to see is black and he's like all right you're coming with me I feel like after Keenan says, is that a trailer line, maybe it is. Flag that, it might be a trailer line. But write that down, intern. Yep.

It's another weird cousin of mine. Write that down. But so Shane, shame brings Luis to this seemingly like abandoned warehouse kind of a deal. It follows parking lot for a second. You're totally right. I got to rewatch that movie, man.

It's been a while. Pretty good. But yeah, so this is like, he's tied to a chair and it's like, you're going to help me. No. Oh, okay, well, you don't want to help me? That's fine.

And he's like, really, that's it? He's like, yeah, I asked you to help and you said no, so okay. And he leaves him in this place and, like, all these doors are locked like it's a fucking saw movie right here. Oh, hello, Louise. I see you've been trying to screw over

private detective shame. How about a white nationalist convention? Yeah, you like fucking with cops, huh? How about a white nationalist convention? I mean, which is unfair. I mean, here, these guys have portrayed as bad guys. No, this is just a legitimate

political party. Yeah, they're just upset about DEI, understand. Right, yeah, they're just one of the price of milk to come down. We should really understand their grievances and maybe even compromise with them.

Yeah, these are our friends on the other side of the aisle. Oh, Gavin Newsom's going to have them on his podcast next week. Oh, man, that well quaffed turd. But yes, it's a bunch of Nazis. Back when you could have Nazis be Nazis.

Right, back when they were bad guys. Now you understand they are good guys now. Yes. Yeah, we have to say that. Well, yeah, you've got to understand. I don't want to be targeted by them. Oh, but this is very funny because they like chase him out and shame is like sitting in the street with the car and he's trying to like run to get in the car and shame starts driving and Luis is running alongside it. Like tell me where Mendoza is, man, come on or whatever.

And he finally fucking does. And I just love this peeling out and leaving this dude there. And you see this guy consumed by these Nazis like it's a zombie movie. It's so great. And he's like, I like he's running and he's like, well, Luis, the good news is East L.A. is only five miles away but it's five miles back that way through the Nazis

so then it's a weird Wayman is at this club again just to get Wayman in here for a little bit because he goes to the club where Luis is like oh Mendoza's going to be here and Wayman and the boyfriend the other guy there Bernard Bernard Bernard they got back together

thank God oh it was only thanks to Mendoza's cool nightclub. I had to console A-man for hours that night. But I'm a good friend. I'm good for it. We watched Bridgerton together.

But yeah, so this is our big sit-down. It's like, oh, hi, Mendoza. We're just going to talk for a little bit. It ends with Mendoza shooting one of his dudes in the dick, which is pretty great. It's an under-the-table Mexican stand-off thing. Yet another man.

Mexican stand-up. Yeah, you're right. I didn't count this one, but it totally counts. Under the Table version. You know, shame is kind of hitting on the lady that is here with Mendoza. I just under the table of Mexican stand-up, not unlike in glorious bastards. Say goodbye to your Nazi balls. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. So maybe even Keith and everyone saw that movie. He's like, that son of a bitch. You know what? They say that he steals from the best. You understand. Exactly. It's flattering. shame does some more like kung fu moves kind of right here like beats up these he does a good backwards headbut and immediately destroys that one dude's nose that's a pretty good move

and in it in what should i guess in that scene that was deleted where a wayman followed angela we uh keenan and i shame uh finally got over his rampant homophobia and likes wayman all of a sudden well because he helped him out at the gym i guess right but you want to see that right you want to see like oh wayman you're pretty good you know what i mean yeah pretty good there wayman you know shakes his hand and like because here treats him like a person exactly shakes his hand without throwing up because here uh like he's got mendoza at his sights but mendoza's gonna shoot wayman is it you can't shoot wayman and i'm like why not you hate him you're a fucking monster right totally he throws himself in front of the bullet exactly you're right but it's more of a

i need to stop mendoza whatever mendoza is doing i am stopped right anti mendoza right exactly he goes back to Peach's place right here and the lieutenant is secretly here and it's this like I'm bringing you downtown shame I'm arresting you right now very seriously is this the now Angela has already left this apartment

they were watching so proper as there was an argument because they both oh they're watching the Jeffersons at this point best part of the movie is like four minutes of the Jefferson I agree watching him dance it's the best part of this movie do that funky chicken George like she's yelling at the TV which is great

yeah we would much rather be watching the jefferson but angela's kind of a nasty person so she kind of winds up leaving yes and then it's like jane is like yeah well she's an adult i can tell shame she's she's grown she went off on her own she went to get food and didn't come back you know whatever um so yeah this dude walks out or whatever and it's just like i'm not you're not coming with me i know what's going on with mendoza i'm going to bustin by oh and i want uh peaches in uh protective custody for 24 hours okay yeah fuck you pussy you're not going to arrest me bye i just like immediately leaves the house. And this would be, this is this guy's second scene. That goddad, that reshoots scene, because I wouldn't even know who the fuck this guy was. Right. That's only the second time he appears in the movie. You don't know who he is.

Ah, man. Yeah, that's bad. And then he's like, in the end, it's like, he's the guy. You know what I mean? Like, kind of. Well, yeah, he winds up, like, sort of taking all the, the cred or whatever. But we see real quick, Angela goes to the storage facility. Oh, there's the $20 million that Mendoza's been, you know,

hounding after whatever. They have, like, a sexy scene in a motel. here ish, right? Yeah, there's sort of, sort of around here. How does he find out she's there? He mentioned some line of like, like, oh, I know where she'll be, but he just knows there's a receipt earlier on

of a storage facility, which takes, it's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, she's gotten her, she's gotten her, uh, she's got her, uh, she's got her bill for the storage. Most of this movie I was blinking. Sorry, I was blinking. Yeah, I was blinking at that part, sorry. Um, so, like, yeah, he's going to find Angela. Charles S. Dutton goes to where the

protective custody is happening murders all of these cops that are protecting Jada Pinkett and for some reason doesn't also just shoot her dead in this moment. Also, he busts in, shoots them, they die off camera. What's the hell? Come on.

I need to see this shit. It's an R-rated action movie. A couple squibs. How about that? No, but we get to see her stomp on Charles S. Dutton's foot and run away. Yes. She turns into a cartoon character towards the end of this movie.

She does throw boiling water in his face right here, which is pretty good. Which doesn't, here's the thing. Boiling water, now he's got to be deformed for the rest of the film. And I'm going home. I'm not continuing the chase scene. Mendoza killing me or no.

My fucking, my skin is flaking and peeling off of my own face due to third degree bursts. Oh, like Jason Voorhees all of a sudden. She does, man, I got to say, the foot stomping is silly, but the silliest thing is like, They're facing each other and it's Charles S. Dutton is standing between her and the door. Yes.

And they both like rage, scream at each other and run at each other. And she slides under his legs like fucking Kevin McAllister. Yes. That's not even the silliest thing. The silliest thing is at the end of the movie, which we'll talk about. But it's really silly. Yeah. But then this is shame has Angela and we're in the hotel for a little more of them.

This is where I think we finally learned that they were actually engaged to be married at one point. And it's just all this back and forth. And they just start, like, making out, like, real professional shame, I have to say. Well, because it's following, she's got a hold on him, you understand. Oh. And, but then Mendoza calls, he's like, I've got, I've got your Peaches or whatever, like, come and get her. And he's like, I guess I'll bring the money. And Angel's like, we could just go away together, shame, you know, this kind of thing.

And he's like, I'm not going to leave, you know, peaches is my friend. I'm not going to leave her behind, blah, blah, blah. and then so Mendoza says they're going to meet at one of his properties the Palisades Mall this threw me for a second because I was like but the Palisades Mall is here it's like a 20 minute drive north of me right now

but no no no this is some the other Palisades which I guess is closed for business in the middle of the afternoon is the idea? I don't think it's supposed to be nighttime in the scene is it but it's a fully functioning mall it's got to be nighttime

is it night time okay yeah it's closed I thought it was supposed to be the middle of the day, which is why I was confused as to why this mall was completely closed for business. No, I think it's supposed to be closed. Got it, got it, got it, got it. It's dark and isn't the same mall from chopping? Well, probably not.

Oh, I don't know, actually. Good question. I don't know. But yeah, so he says, you know, oh, tell Sonny to come along to, make sure Charles has Dunn's at the end of this movie, please, if you could, Mendoza, thank you. It was actually surprising little trivia about this movie because no one cares about.

Not a soul. That's why you haven't that's why i mean i never really even heard of this movie until this drawing i like uh the exchange here between angela and shame she goes uh because he's like i'm not i'm not running away with you like i'm going to get peaches or whatever she goes okay shame just promise me you're gonna smoke his ass and he goes like a motherfucking pack of cool oh yeah pretty sweet intern can't taylor yeah that's good that's gonna be Intern. Trailer. Oh, yeah, you should smoke that ass. I'm an ally.

I'm supportive to you, too. Smoke it. Get munching. Smoke that and some pole. I'm an hell. Whatever you like. I'm just a good friend. I just like seeing my other friends happy.

Get them, girl. You just call me peaches. I was trying to snap my fingers and my thumb fell off. My brittle bones broke Whoops Angela gave me a stiffy And now I'm paralyzed I'm old

Get it? Yeah Do you get it? So Dutton has a thing Real quick here He's like, It's not about revenge, shame It's about the money

Here's my reasoning In the 11th hour Yes, he explains That the only reason That this all went down was big he had to kill all those other guys because they only would take the money of shame would and he knew that shame never would right the shame's so good and he had to kill them and he left shame alive because somebody did take the fall you see so finally all of this stuff with this

vague Mexican cock up is spelled out in full it's hilarious or where they're down he's up there's an escalator separating them and he's like I'll send peaches down if you send Angela up or whatever the fuck vice versa but yeah yeah they this mannequin dude you got see this is a mile the second you puts a mannequin on the escalator that's a mannequin like how can you you know unless this escalator is the tallest

escalator this is the tallest second story on a mall you've ever seen you could just look up to the top of that escalator and be like mannequin well I mean she could be an ancient princess that turns into a mannequin at certain times I forgot Kim Cottrell is playing

Egyptian in that movie sure is or she is the spirit of an Egyptian goddess in her. Spirit of something. Yeah, so here we go. Peaches is going up the escalator and she has been pontificating earlier in the film

about she should have a gun. She's a great shot, blah, blah, blah. So then here we go. And he's like, all right, Peaches, you better be as good as you say you are. And she's like, what? And you see that he has placed, he's taped a gun on the escalator railing and she's coming up to meet it. And there's

also like, and this, by the way, should be the end of the movie. This is like, this is it. The guys are, we're all in the same room. We've explained. Ponytail guy, Charles S. Dutton, we're all here. So just like have a big old shootout. It could last a couple minutes, for sure. But this should be the end of the movie. No one,

no cat mouse nonsense. No. So we have the big fight or whatever, but then it continues because I guess this is Mendoza's SWAT team. Yeah. No, it's Charles S. Dutton. He's like, oh, I brought them. They're ex-military.

They won't fail. Christ, I miss that entirely. Sure, I mean, who cares? These dudes just break down from the ceiling. Like, it's the end of Christmas vacation, and I have no idea what was going on. You're going to have to break down the goddamn door. So he's just laying waste to these dudes. Some of them are giving chase.

And we've got this sporting goods scene. This is a highlight of the end. It is. It's pretty cool. You hear the one guy be like, hey, ceasefire. There's a bunch of flammable stuff. stuff in there. Sure hope he doesn't use that to his advantage.

And he just starts getting all this like, you know, flammable liquid on the floor and we've got the flaming tennis balls, I believe, was also a trailer situation. Yes. And again, this is what a fucking 13 year old like, do you know, no. Sure. I love the bungee cord thing. Bunggis off.

Because you see, the funniest thing is you see him. 11. Oh, yeah, please. You see him get that hunting knife off the wall and I was like, he's going to cut that guy's throat. Dude, that would be, and he just What Jason Voorhees is in this fucking? I really like hucking into this dude's What the bungee court is cool

because he jumps down and then he grabs the gun out of a guy's hand. Thank you. And then shoots him. Shoots him with a machine gun at like point blank rage. That's amazing. That dude is fucking hamburger. It's pretty cool. The only thing the cooler is if it was

there was a fish tank behind him. We fell into a fish tank. The final indignity of Luis is right here because shame has some dogs sicked on him we get it we by the way we got this is earlier in the movie he says you're afraid of dogs he's like

I guess I am I guess that is by one big fear and it's also like you know if you are ever afraid if you ever if you are ever cornered by dogs sing James Brown and they won't attack you whatever does you know say it loud I'm black and I'm proud

and the Rottweilers are like yep we'll sit down and listen to this and he's sort of doing it and then Luis comes up shame dumps a bunch of garbage on him and he's got like all this all this is like deli meat all over his face. What is this deli meat lever? Is this supposed to be garbage for one of the stores? I think it's like the food court garbage maybe. But it's like perfect cold cuts and lettuce and tomato. Well, it's the same on the waste in this country. Oh yeah. That could have been a good

thing. Right, right. Right. They're starving people somewhere. Well, it's like that thing about like expiration dates are bullshit. Right. You know. Yeah. Like they mark it like way sooner so that you throw it out and buy more shit. I can't even do it. But he probably believes that those are... Expiration dates are you. That means it's totally fine. And measles are good for you. The best cure for measles I think has to be raw milk.

you should be eating expired meat what there's burn flows in the raw milk now well you should just put some measles on that burn flu

it'll solve it yes the Banti Burns thing of where all the diseases at once to the door yes exactly that's what we're going to do out of my way

knucklehead I have to shout it I have to go and make a summoning circle. Someone said, uh, say hello to JFK for me. So I have to talk to hell. Oh, so these dogs attack this guy. Yeah. That's his like final indignity here. And it's just this is,

in this scene, Jada Viggins was running around this wall. Dude. She gets, there's a store called like, oh, baby or something. It's a baby store. Yes. And someone, I mean, it just, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not in the script. Someone who's just like, you know what? She's pretty small. and she's in a crib in a baby outfit and like I think Mendoza runs by it That's working for someone It's working for someone

Because she's pretending to sleep in And she's sucking her thumb okay And it's just like what And then she's Mendoza runs by And then she just gets off And like and like She gets off

Well she just gets out of the crib You see And takes off the bonnet And now she's just running around What was that? She takes off the bonnet But she's got a baby top on? She sure does.

does the rest of the film. It's amazing. Oh, and then Charles S. Dutton's penis gets him killed right here. Oh, yes. Because Angela comes up and he's like, you know, got a gun on or whatever. And then she starts, like, getting all sexy. She takes off this fucking suit jacket. Yes. Only bra underneath this thing. But he even actually, no, it's kind of great. She's like, you want to have sex? And he's like, I would, but I don't trust you. And then before he can get a the nectar is tempting, but, uh, you're poison. Yes. And then she just shoots him in the head. This line. Stupid motherfucker. Could have had some pussy. could have had some pussy

could have had it could have had it well does that like really she was just gonna let that happen in the middle of a wall parking lot it wasn't like a distraction like it was like an actual thing with Charles S. Dunn

dude this movie's ending and he's just patted it's it's Charles S. Dunn's ass going up and down but with the credits rolling divoff is just like where are you I need your help huh huh huh huh

huh just a really sweaty charlesus dutton sex scene if they did the credits and it was a victory lap with all the actors and their names below it and that it was like Charles S. Dutton and it was like oh but yeah she totally get it girl

she totally does a fucking John McLean she's got the gun taped to her bra and she pulls it out and kills it pretty cool he's dead and it's fine I mean the Angela character is really underdeveloped So thin.

And like, and she's supposed to be the big friend She's the last one, right? Well, you see, her characteristics are

she's the girlfriend of both of them. I see. It's complex. But like, this movie would like be better balanced if like Jada was playing

this Angela character. Yes, for sure. And shame is just sidled with her the whole movie. Yeah. There's a little bit of a balance there. This whole like,

no, no, we got to show how cool he is that he, two women like her. Two women like that. lining up for him huh so near the fountain it is very it's the end of lethal weapon basically it is near a fucking water blowing thing of water yeah exactly so basically they're divoff they both

have guns they put them down they're gonna fight like men sure and they just fight it's a cool enough fight i kind of like this uh divov's doing like the mooie tie kind of like my hands are doing some cool stuff it's pretty sweet i guess but like uh that's what they call that mootai my hands are welcome to your first movie Thai class you see my hands because they're both doing elbows knees fighting but it's like it's so slow it's not a fast choreography kind of fight which is just like it's a gun movie yes you know what I mean like it just let's end it with guns but wherever he fucking beats the shit out of him and it's like oh here I'm taking you in now don't worry about it Mendoza you're definitely going to jail oh what's that angel you're still in this movie

you fucking shot him in the head or whatever second yeah second we hate movies episode he got shot in the head and he just shot the head in toy soldiers great squib on the head it really it's a gusher yeah remember better here because I think it's a weird

he's got a like a bullet hole in his forehead yes but he's talking as he dies how do you mess that up and then Wishmaster he's got a ruby in his forehead I see oh you want a vanity project

do you be careful what you wish for then just really quickly like I think it's a thing where the shame's like well I couldn't possibly fight over one of the women that's fighting why don't you guys just fight each other

because then Peaches starts fighting Angela yeah I got fight that's right bitch is her line after she drops Angela Peaches does pretty good and then she's like and let's steal the money anyway well does so Angela lives right

yes Angela winds up getting arrested I think That's a problem for the end of the movie. Well, there's a lot of problems here. Luis is comically alive. That's a problem. He's getting wheeled out in like a full body cast or whatever. The captain comes over.

He's like, Shane, you're in shame. I can't want to go on him. Shane, that's a real name. He's like, shame, you're under arrest. Blah, blah, blah. He's like, oh, you can arrest me or you can take credit for, you know, me exposing a DA and this, that, the other thing. And taking 15 million dollars and stolen money.

And then like, I'm like, I'm like, oh. I'll take that. And then Jada Pickett's like, isn't it $20 million? He's like, well, I got a finder's sphere or whatever. But then isn't Angela going to be like, oh, no, it's $20 million. He totally ripped that off. Yeah, I guess if she is indeed going to rat on him for the, yeah, good call. I hadn't thought about that.

But yeah, it is that like, don't you mean $20 million? It wound up being used on a Simpsons joke at one point. Quimby has something. I think it's about the, I think it's the monorail maybe. Oh, right. Yeah. And it's like, how do we appropriate? the $3 million.

Didn't you mean $5 million? Or like whatever it is. But you know, that's pretty much it. Well, they start making up. Of course, they have to. Yeah. That's going on. Yeah, with his $5 million, kiss me before I change my mind.

Because I'm Keenan Ivory Wades and I'm just fucking batting Jada Pickett Smith off with a fucking stick, I suppose. It makes no fucking sense. He's a cool guy. He's a cool guy, dude. Cool guy. He's never got a sequel.

That is the end of the lowdown dirty shame, never to see a part two. Or, by the way, the German title of this movie is Mr. Kuhl. Is it really? Really? Mr. Kuhl. Hair Kool. Oh, yeah. It's time to re-watch

Hair Kool. I think there's an actual name over there. It's what? It's K-U. Umlaut. H.L. Just a guy. Oh, I taped Mr. Kool off the TV last night, too, to watch it over and over, a little fat boy. It's my favorite actor, Daniel Kuh. Whatever, man.

That is the end of a low-down dirty shame, written, directed, and starring Keenan Ivoryans. Big thanks to Chuck from South Jersey for calling this one, and we'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts on a low-down dirty shame, Eric. Yes, I would not recommend Mr. Cool. Yeah, it's cool.

It's just like this is just pieces of all the other movies that have done it better. It's like you shattered every 80s stereotype private investigator cop movie and you mushed it all together and you got this. And loaded weapon was like three years before this, wasn't it? This is just way too late to be doing this kind of movie

if you're not going full-throated parody. You know, there's moments to it that aren't too shabby. I think Jada Pinkett's good. But there's just not a lot here. So, no. That's a big no, Stephen. Oh, wait, sorry, pile of coats. What do you think?

Excellent opinion. All right, Steve. Next year, big sturdy cabin. A well-built cabin. A well-built cabin. You say big dirty cabin? Big dirty cabin. I think he's in big sturdy cabin. I like big dirty cabin too.

Oh, he's not cleaning up in there. No. Surprising. 11-year-old me, big thumbs up. 41-year-old me. Big thumbs down. 30 years later, you just had a 180 there. Yeah, sure did.

No, it's just not very good. Terrick's point, yeah. It's just, it's a bunch of 80s cliches. it's way too late. And Keenan's just not good in this movie. And that's the problem. It's a vanity project. And usually you kind of want to be,

you want to be able to hold your own in your own vanity project. And it just doesn't have it. Jada Pinkett is actually really good. She kind of levitates off the screen. Like, I was like, oh, wow, that woman's going to be a star. And she obviously would become one. That's about it. Yeah, that's about it.

Yeah. No, Jada in the 90s, man, she's great in a set it off. You know, so like big crush. on her in the 90s. So this is good for that because yes, she is far in a way the best part of the movie. And, you know, Keenan and Nivey Wayans, again, total comedy legend has

set up dynasties. Like, that fucking family is comedy royalty. Yeah. No shade whatsoever. This just did not work. Go see, I'm going to get you second. Go watch the first scary movie, which is, again, some landmines just like this movie, but I'd say like 55% of it still holds up.

55% to 60% of scary movie still holds up. you know i mean and and fucking my my god find reruns of in living color yeah amazing just uh this just did not hit uh but you know them's the breaks folks you can't have fucking gold every time but that's gonna do it for this episode if you want more we hate movies including commercial free episodes of this very show head to the patreon patreon patreon dot com slash we hate movies where you can get episodes just like this zero commercials and if you like clini's sort impressions we just did a whole episode on in the line of fire on our we love movies side show on the Patreon. That's right. Which is a great

Clint movie with John Malcovich. Andrew is an excellent John Malcovich. Surprisingly good. People told me I was pretty in the room I was surprised. I was like, that's a really good John McAugh. If you are listening to this episode on The Lowdown Dirty Shame, the week that it comes out, this coming Thursday, we have a listener requested animation damnation on

Daria. A very holiday heavy episode there. Depth takes a holiday. That's what I was hoping one of you remember the title. I just did. And then Friday this week, the Gloop Glouclery, Eric, what's going on with that crazy side show? We are talking of Malakili, the Rancourt Keeper. Oh, dude, this was a wild episode, I have to say.

Yes, this is the, now, if you've seen Return of the Jedi folks at home, the big fat guy that's blubbering about the dead monster. Well, guess what? We'll be talking about him at length. Oh, at length of D. You want to know what type of business he got into after the fact? Oh, right. Tune on in. Oh, dude, it is such an amazing button on the end of that guy's story.

I can't wait for people to hear it. We've also got on Melro 210, we're continuing the Daddy Wars. That's right. Yes. That's right. And we've also got a fun

Melrose to Melrose episode there too as well. So the Daddy Wars now is only on 902. That's right. I was including Palmer at the start. Oh, right. Palmer is fucking chum. Yeah, he's just.

So the Daddy War has had a casualty. Not every Daddy's going to make it through the Daddy Wars, but the Daddy Wars are raging on there. They certainly are. Yes. We also have a single. commentary track coming out on the game. That is David Finchers, the game.

Excellent film, and it's going to be a lot of fun hearing us talk about it, not talk about it, talk over. Talk over. That's right. That's coming out next week, along with our listener requested episode on the Nexus, where we were talking about two very different episodes of Star Trek Deep Space 9. That's going to be a lot of fun. But here on the main feed, folks, on the Tuesday show, such as it is,

listener request month has one more in the chamber. Steve Sadek, would this be the best of the bunch you wager coming up? think so. It's either that or link. And I mean, it's a real race to the bottom. I think it's Wishapon. It is the movie Wishapon. It's Joey King and Ryan Philippe. I believe, I want to say

Ryan Philippe plays the trombone for no reason in this movie. Is he playing her father? Yes, he is. Thank God. God love interest. Yep, that's exactly right. Get it, girl. So until next week, when we'll Get It Girl with Wishapon.

I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Say that. Eric Siska. Take it easy.