We Hate Movies - S15 Ep791: Wish Upon

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

“He is the hottest hoarder you’ve ever seen!” - Steve on Ryan Phillippe’s character On this week’s episode, the 2025 Listener Request Month comes to a close with a rowdy discussion about the ridiculously tame PG-13 horror movie, Wish Upon! Why on Earth did they care about avoiding an R rating with this fake Final Destination movie? What is with all the dumpster diving? Why couldn’t this wish box talk or be accompanied by a ghost or something? And where is literally any faculty administrator with all the bullying going down at this school? PLUS: How can one be a slut for wontons?  Wish Upon stars Joey King, Ryan Phillippe, Ki Hong Lee, Mitchell Slaggert, Shannon Purser, Sydney Park, Elisabeth Röhm, Alice Lee, and Sherilyn Fenn as Mrs. Deluca; directed by John R. Leonetti. This week’s episode is sponsored in part by Huel! New customers visit Huel.com SLASH WHM today and use our code WHM to get 15% off your first order plus a Free Gift! Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, it's a movie that had me wishing for a better cast. It's Wish Upon. I'm Andrew Jupin. Saxophone, Steve Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies.

Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. Holy smokes. I can't believe it's already over. Listen at request month is at the final. Oh, it's over? We don't have to do with this. No, no, after, after, after that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that.

No, one more. Okay. Got to do one more. Wait, what the fuck? Andrew, where's it? Why is this jazz quartet here? What the fuck is going on? here. I don't care if you play

piano. I'm trying to do something here. Chris, your dad is hot. Oh, my God. Your dad is hot. We are dumpster diving today. That's what this movie is. God damn. This is Wishapon from 2017 directed by John R. Leonetian. We ran

into this dude several years back because his feature debut, this guy's a working cinematographer, but his feature directorial debut, you guessed it, one of the worst of all time, Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Yeah, that's a tough one. Terrible. Yeah, he went on to do

Butterfly Effect 2 which I didn't know existed. Annabel, how is that, Steve? I've never seen it. Really? You like the creepy little ghost baby movies? I do, but I don't fuck with dolls

if I can avoid it. I saw the prequel one on a plane and it's like her, it's like a doll in some like Mexican orphanage or some shit. That's one of them. Yeah, one of them is okay and the rest of them are garbage.

I'm gonna assume this is one of the garbage. I was super fucked up on that flight and kind of don't really remember. Something about a well maybe was involved? Yeah, that might be creation. He also did a movie called Wolves at the Door, The Silence, and then Lullaby in 2022, which has got a great poster of a creepy old lady grabbing at a baby. Oh, that's what you want. Is it the Sean, is it Sean, what's?

Cunningham? Yeah. She washes her hair at night. What? Lullaby. Oh, that is no. I was saying Sean Cunningham, the director of Friday the 13th. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Sean, oh, man. Rock her by. Yeah, I know what you talk. Fuck. Wow, that was... She goes on. It's like kind of a bullshit Tom Waits thing for like five minutes. Yeah, oh, Sean Mullen.

Sean Mullen. She eats Denny's in the parking lot. Oh, Jesus. She asks for extra mayonnaise. She smears it on her face. She grabs some weird Chinese wishboxes. Her dad's dumpster diving. She 3D printed a Chinese box.

This one was requested by a listener here this one. was April from Toronto. Let's see what April had to say about John R. Leonetti's Wish Upon. This is April from Toronto, Canada, and I would like to request Wish Upon from 2017. It's a batshit crazy horror movie starring Joey King and Ryan Philippe. I think you'll enjoy it. Love the show. Bye. Starring.

Doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Thank you, April. Yes, thank you, April very much for this movie. Opportunity. I gotta say this has been, this was in my deck for, say, XLX. Yes, for worst of the year of 2017, I don't have brought it up, got voted down probably. Oh yeah, we vote everything down here. And I'm thrilled to see it back.

I was going to wait until 2027, but here I am, two years early. Here we are. I was actually, I was apropos April's pronunciation of Ryan's name here. Apparently his daughters put out an Instagram video. where they were like, here's how you say our name. Oh, God. Philippi. It's the E.

I've been saying A, like April. Oh, no, no, it's Philippi. I've always said Philippe. I've been saying Philip who? I've been calling him Crandall. Speaking of Crandall, what's that, what's that sound, Andrew? I don't. Oh, fuck.

No. Yes. Yes, indeed. We are back for the VHS trailer game, and I am your game king. Hell yeah. Chris Cabin here to tell you. Any relation to Joey King, Game King? You know, it's a distant, it's a second cousin situation.

I'll tell you this, I'll bet my fucking balls the Game King better actor. Oh, come on. I don't know. She was good in that Gypsy Rose Blanchard shit with Patty Arquette, but I got to tell you, man, not here. I didn't even see that one. I've always generally been like, I only know her from Slender Man. Oh, yes, yeah, Slender Man. And the Conjuring apparently.

So all I know her is like a little high school scrunched face like, man. that's all I know her at I will say Joey King is not starring in any of the films that they were going to be talking about here she was switching around to the balls at that point she was still in the ball okay because there's no VHS release of Wish upon this is from something else so this has been

I went and I looked through all the trailers for all these movies that we've been doing on the Snor Quest Month and I got the ones that were doable I'll say there are a couple there that nobody has seen and like if I were just be like This stars Greg Belomima. I'm well acquainted to Greg Belomabon. Can I wager a bulk of those who are on the link VHS tape?

Yes, a lot of them were on the link VHS tape. There were other ones that were much better. But we're going to do this now. Just to get the standings right now, Stephen is the head of the pack at 28. He is the leader of the pack. Right behind him with 24. And Andrew is not far behind him.

at 19. So it's a very close game right now. Anyone's game. It really is at this point. Anyone's Jane. Well, yes. The return of the Sith. All right.

So we're going to start with this first one here. I think a lot of these were from the, what was the last one we did? Lo-down dirty shame. Yeah, I think a lot of them were from that one. That was a real movie. Yeah, that was released and people remember it, I guess. Somewhere Elizabeth Schu just went, hey.

Come on. Why are he saying that? Come on. Anyway, let's go. Number one. This action comedy with a crazy cast stars the most beloved Nepo Baby of the 80s and 90s

as an ex-con on the run with an unexpected girl, not unlike Andrew. The Chase. Correct. Oh, of course. Yes. Where he's helping Dalton Voss's daughter.

Which is Christy Swanson? Indeed, yes. That is a Satan. It is quite a lot. I just rewatched it. We did like a VHS New Year's thing for no good reason. Well, dude, you're buying those tapes. You've got to do something with those.

No, seriously. They're piling up. So I was like, hey, let's do a couple. And we got through the chase on New Year's Eve. And it's really stupid. More than Domino's Pizza. More than one member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers is in that. Yes, but him and Flea are back.

They're both like the gag is they're driving in a car the whole movie. And Henry. And Henry Rollins is a cop. And they're doing cops. Like, we're really saying. Wow. Ron Jeremy also Can we just do that movie instead of this one?

Wait, the hedgehog's in it? Oh, we got to do it now. Got to talk about that scumbag. Is he arrested? Is he in jail now? It was that weird. He's rotting somewhere. He's been in jail and he was like super sick with COVID and he had to go into some court

and he just looked like he was like, remember those mucinex guys? Oh, yeah. Ron Jeremy looks like a mucinex guy. Got it. He's going to be hanging out with Matthew McConaughey, the beach bum. like that seems like the world that he will be living in people elsewhere in the world

mucinex guys are like green blobs they are supposed to be little blobs they look like boogers they dress like they lived through the great depression they all talk like hey how's it going right me right you know i'm snot um i live in a tent of it for some reason because it's legal in the united states that fucking entertaining little cartoon sell you medicine absolutely that's that's that's international that's that's a beloved thing all around the world Sell me dry. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

In Mexico, there were, like, little guys been like, hi, would you like to die this drug? Well, okay. I'm glad they're getting in them with a fun. All right, so number two. All right. This Bruce Willis led bomb was the last narrative feature made by the late director, Richard Rush,

and would eventually be available in four different cuts. Stephen? Last man standing? Nope. Hudson Hawk? No. Wow. Two down.

Damn, I should have. Oh, Richard Rush, man. That's a fucking filmography I can't think of. You said four cots and Bruce Willis. Let's go to the next one. Okay, number two. An erotic psychological thriller, this film co-stared newcomer Jane March and was awarded Best Sex Scene in Film History by Maxim Magazine.

Rush kept the physical award in his bathroom until the day he died. bathroom, huh? It's a nice adornment. Shit, man. It's a coin flip for me now. I mean, I don't think I would be able to answer this one. It gets requested all the time. Is that right? Oh, my God, this fucking movie. Oh, man. We'll have to do this one, too. We will

eventually be doing this. Also, I think Maxim needed to state, like, best non-pornographic sex scene. They're not casting a wide gaze. That's for sure. I got nothing on that either. This is the only Razzie Award nominee to win the big prize, worst picture, but failed to win in any other of the eight categories it was nominated. Jesus Christ. I was scraping. This one was tough. This is tough, man. What was the woman in the movie? Who did you say? Jane March. Whatever

happened to Jane March. The funny thing is, I was going to guess last man's name. I feel like it's something I may have seen a VHS cover for, but I don't know the name of. Let's go to the next one. Bladis, Lance Henriksen, Scott Baculate, and Brad Duref, co-star in this film. Wow. That's a murderous row right there. Seriously. Oh, my God, I got to see this movie. I don't even think I have it. And

finally, the tagline in the heat of desire, love can turn to deception. Nothing is what it seems when day turns into night. Oh, that I know what it is. Yeah. Oh, man. It's not this, but all those words that you just said put the

title in my head of in the heat of the night no it's not it no is it color of night yeah color of night yes I have heard of this I've never seen it I was for a while the coin flip because he was in two erotic thrillers striking distance where he's on a boat a lot of it oh sure and then color of night

is he's coast guard him and came basinger no I think it's Sarah Jessica Parker it is Sarah Jessica oh okay she's like his new Coast Guard assistant like he killed he had to kill his evil brother Tom Seismore yeah Back in the day, I think, something like that. All right.

Horrid. Also, a movie we will be doing here. By the way, as we're recording this, I believe it is today, Bruce Willis' 70th birthday. Hey, happy birthday. Congratulations, man. All right. All right, number three.

Hoof, color of night. This cop thriller casts a long time W.H.M. Favorite against a late great musician as a pair of corrupt cops setting up a homeless man in a frame job. Stephen. Oh, I know what it is. It is... oh man no

that's not the title is it it's a very long title bullet no is it why did you just slowly say every title possible this answer is falling apart

like a Chinese motorcycle all right is it uh uh fuck is it two bullets no no no now that he's ants could you say that again

I know the cast of it this cop thriller casts a long time WHM favorite against the late great musician as a pair of corrupt cops setting up a homeless man in a frame job

I think I know the cast too I feel like I can't I can't think of the title at all so I think about late great musicians who acted petty I'll go there to the next number two okay the title of this film related related directly

to the largely racist crime trends of local news in the 1990s now I know it Andrew oh no you just did what I did damn it no it's not white man's bird is it is no let's keep going down because I don't know the title at all and I'm never

going to get it I think I know the two actors you probably do the film's the other guy in white man's was Travolta Travolta yeah the film co-stars Dennis Quaid Gary Cole James Earl Jones David Pamer and one more musician the rapper Cool Modi What a fucking cast Is this James Belushi and Tupac Shakor?

It is indeed Oh yes yes that's what I cannot think of the fucking name of it I now know the title too Yeah we watched almost all of this movie as we were at a friend's house getting ready for his wedding it was on the TV all right let's keep going maybe the tagline

will fucking spark something I have one before the tagline this was the this was the last narrative film that Tupac Shakur appeared in before his murder in 1996 that give you nothing that gave me nothing let's go on to the tagline and I might not even get it at all

some cops play by the rules their own Wow, that's true. This is also a definite state. Oh, yeah. Oh, 100%. I'm just not going to be able to get the title. That's fine.

Gang-related. That is. There it is. It is gang related. Which everybody, gridlocked is the other one that you think of all the time. With Tim Roth. With Tim Roth. Yes.

Which I do think is a better movie. I'm sure it is. I got Tim Roth instead of Jim Volusian. Yeah. Okay. So pretty good barometer there. All right, fourth one. Okay.

Everybody ready? Mm-hmm. Bloodbeth. We better get one. This Florida set 1997 drama stars one of the greatest nepo babies of all time and a new Hollywood legend as, wouldn't you guess it, a Vietnam vet who must face his demons when his family is threatened. Florida set nepo baby. Vietnam veteran. Could you read that again, please? Sure.

This Florida set 1997 drama stars one of the greatest nepo baby. baby's all time a new Hollywood legend as wouldn't you guess it a Vietnam vet who must face his demons when his family is threatened so it's a Nepo baby with someone playing a Vietnam vet or they're playing they're both it's both things both things

are one person gotcha so the star of the movie is a new Hollywood Nepo baby who's playing a Florida living Vietnam better yes fuck this is tough huh yeah I got this is like the heat of the 90s independent speak so you

got all these fuckers that have like big star in it and that almost nobody's love. Yep. Yep. I'm going to vote to kick it. Yes, kick it. Okay. Number two, the film features a highly rare second bill performance by home improvement legend Patricia Richardson. Hell yeah. As well as a very young Jessica Beale. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh,

wow. Wait. Is it Yeah. Lorenzo's oil? No. Damn, Loz. Fucker. Lorenzo's motor oil. Lorenzo's lobster boil?

Where's the butter? Oh, no, I know what it is now. God damn it. Don't you do it. Son of a bitch. Oh. Let's kick it. Fucker, yeah, I can't, yeah.

The lead character's name is in the title, but is not the entirety of the title. Which would make me. say Lorenzo, but it's not. It's the other one. It's close. The other one is the other. Like I said, it's close. It's right. I don't know movie titles like that. Dude, this is a, this is a tough one, man.

This is tough. Uh, fuck. And his name is not Lorenzo. No, it is not. Oh, fucker. Um, let's keep going. Yes. Lorenzo, they're towing your car, man. Get my cigs out of it. I'm a fucking veteran. Oh, yeah. Make you feel like a big man. Toe a

A veteran's car. Peter Fonda's lead character in this film May know the whereabouts of some hidden treasure. The bounty gained by his dead son in a fatal robbery. The legend of curly's cold. Not far, again, not far off. Andrew. Uly's goal?

Yes, it is. Thank you. Thank you for saying. Because otherwise it would just be really, anti-clingmatics of the game here. I was going to say the last hint was for you, Andrew. Jonathan Demi helped get financing for that film.

Sure, yeah, yeah. It's, you know, that's a title that I've seen all over the place. I've never seen that they don't know anything about it. It's just like one of those titles, you always kind of passed on. That's Lorenzo's Oil. What do I sit around watching Lorenzo's Oil? You should. It's a good movie.

It's a really good movie. And the last one, I am really scared after the last one, This might be also a no-go. A real brain. I thought we were done. This is the last one. Oh, you can sit it out of you. I probably will end up sitting it out like all the other ones.

Directed by a major international filmmaker, this Hollywood drama pits Bill Pullman against Gabriel Byrne while they both sort out the aftermath of an abduction. Wow. This is another secret movie, it sounds like. Watching Gabriel Byrne movies. Let me just go into my box of Gabriel Byrne movies. Defending the realm, that's all I got. I guess it's not cool world, isn't it? I did once own...

The Red and Terry was in 2018. I once owned Stigmada on BBB. Oh, boy. Let's kick it. Okay. Wait, is he in that movie? Stigabody, yeah, he's in... End of days.

End of days. Who's the guy in... That's a different question. Yeah, it's a different damn show. two years after this film came out filmmaker would get some gas in his tank thanks to the global success of his music documentary

Buena Vista Social Club Okay Okay Yeah this is gonna be hard Because this dude's got a lot of fucking great movies That nobody's seen over enough Because he just worked man He fucking worked

God damn it Okay 90s This director Bill Pullman and Gabriel Byrne Fucker was on a lot of VHSs and I didn't see it until I think maybe like five years ago.

I go back to get it. At least three years later, this movie essentially ended the goodwill train that had been rolled out for Andy McDowell following the success of four weddings and a funeral. Gabriel Byrne. Yes. Bill Pullman. Yes.

Andy McDowell. Yes. And the director, which I'm sure you and probably, I don't know if the guy knows. If the clue doesn't name, him at any point. Can I get a half a point for knowing the turn? It's short. I will toss that one out. Fuck. This dude does have so many movies that you didn't

know he made or ever heard. Yeah. It's really weird. That's punts. The title of the film calls for the demise of something that barely appears in the film. Oh. Demise. I'm just going to guess that biggest is the only gear.

Is it still a sense of snow? No, it is not. Smelius. Smegma's sense of... Ultimate smegma. Ultimate smegma. I got nothing. Nothing.

Okay, last one. And this will make you guys happy. This movie topped out at 386,673 at the domestic box office. That sounds about right. That sounds about right. So the title calls the demise of something that's barely in the film. But it's in the film. But it is in the film a little bit.

This is the only one that I've not gotten post-guess. Yeah, I was going to say, you didn't even... Here's the mystery row. Where have all the cowboys gone? No. That sounds like a movie title. It sure does. The movie is the end of violence.

Oh, directed by Vim Vendez. One of his American joints. That was it, fellas. Vim weasled into the United States and made a bunch of movies. Andrew made up some ground this one. Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's about, I mean, he actually with the two extra points, he is in the lead now. Oh, wow, okay. All right. No, no, no. No, no. That extra point for vendors?

Yes. No, no, no, for, uh, for, uh, because I knew Tupac. Uli's gold. Oh, Lee's gold. Just saying I knew Tupac and did belus. He's getting close. We're going to hand in that point, little small points. Belipa does the math afterwards, but I believe he's narrowed the gap. It's 28, 26, 24. All right. Well, look at that. It's an exciting year for this. Yeah. It is, indeed. And, uh, we're going to all get excited because we're talking about a Joey King movie. So everybody

just get the thrills going. It's not a kissing booth. No, it is not. They're fine. There's a, there's a trilogy? There's a trilogy. And she's kissing everyone in that thing? I believe she's kissing Jacob Allerty. She is. Over and over again. How the hell would she get a stepstool out for that shit? Get me a stepstool for that

as well. It's not Noah, it's not Noah Cento, is it or whatever the other guy. Oh, I don't know. Those are to all the boys. That's all the Okay, okay. There we go. That did's a real sensation these days. Which is amazing because he appears in Black Adam. Well, we've got ourselves

a suicide cold open. Fantastic suicide. I love this. Yes. Mama's taking out the trash. Oh, have fun on your bicycle. And then she hangs herself in the attic. Isn't that awesome? She calls up Jack McCoy and is like, Jack, I did so many wrong things. I don't know

why I did them. I got to go. And then at the end, she writes in her suicide note, is this because I'm a lesbian? What? That is the end of her We've been through this That's right The Chonzie's Law & Order

It's Elizabeth Rome The actress who's Who's playing this mother Is playing the mother Is an ADA for Law and Order And then she's never a lesbian The entire run on that show And then like

She gets fired by Fred Dalton Thompson At the end is like You gotta get out of here And then she goes Is this because I'm a lesbian And everyone's like wait what And then Fred Dalton Thompson responds with

Hamana hamina hamina hamana Hamana hamina not on paper I get sued myself you see but yeah so she hangs you gotta go to a hotel I'm sorry

you know to kill yourself yes if you got a kid at home you do the right thing yeah don't start the holiday end's problem exactly but listen

it was a beautiful moment you saw your kid riding the bicycle you're like I taught her how to ride the bike my work here is done you go up to the attic she's not supposed to be mulling around the attic this kid and not to be spoilerific here but there's not much movie, so I can be...

Go ahead. Go for it. She's throwing away the wish box here. She's throwing away the wish box. And like, so what did she wish for? They're living in a shit house. Yeah, what's true? Did she wish for Ryan Philippi's saxophone talent? Yeah, maybe.

Maybe he loves jazz. Just can't get it together. And now he's the best saxon. And the irony, the bitter monkey's paw irony, after she kills herself, he'll never play again. I'm assuming you've got several parents with cancer that are getting... Okay.

And then maybe Max wasn't always alive. Maybe he's an undead dog. Oh, that could be. You see her hanging, and then she's... Her feet her kick gets like, really cool air, Jordan. It's one of the wishes. Just do it, dude. Do you think is the thing when she was like,

I wish my husband, Ryan Philippi, was really good at, and then she heard something. She's like, what is that? A saxophone? And then the box was like, saxophone, got it. No, no, no, no, no. I was the mess of... No, I hope he's really good at.

Who's messing with that dumpster? Oh, shit. No, no, no, no, that's a talent that still doesn't get you money. No, no, no, no. Now he is good at the dumpster. Dude, this box needs to be talking. I'm sorry. Yeah, I want a little subject.

Or just a little, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hashtag dumpster daddy. He's a dumpster diving daddy. He's a dumpster diving daddy. Ryan Phillipoo is a dumpster diving daddy. Yeah, sure he is. But, yeah, she goes back. The dog is smelling this wish box.

It's not, no bueto. No, this dog knows what's up, just like dogs doing any. kind of paranormal situation. This dog's like, hey, you better get away from that box. But yes, so the Joey, little baby Joey King. Yes. It's kind of a great shot where she drops her bike on the lawn and like runs up the stairs

finds her mom's feet swing in there. The mother, I have to say, waits for the kid to open the door before she kicks the stool. Exactly. Well, maybe you know you're debating killing yourself and they're like, what the hell is that? And she slips. Oh, she maybe was thinking about not doing it and she got spooked and accidentally killed her. Well, that's, to

Steve's point, like, I wish we had gotten a little bit more of what's going on here, because like, maybe this is, like, the deal you made with, with the demon is that, like, no, she has to see it. Like, whatever you fucking asked for, you asked, you went back on a whole

bunch of shit, because you have to remember, that is why we don't see anything, is because more than likely Elizabeth Robb's last fucking wish was the same as her. I wanted to all go back to normal. So you don't get to see all the cool shit she got. To your point, demons are very visual animals. Yes. So they want, look, you're going to scar your cage. You've got to go all out and really just fucking, I mean, honestly, you should have done it naked, too, really just to fucking sear it in there.

So she hangs herself and no one moves this bike for like eight years. This bike is just rotting in the exact same spot. Well, it's a funny. It's a metaphor, obviously. I was going to say, Stephen, is it not a symbol for Ryan Phillips is tortured psyche? Well, this is a smart movie, dude. But it's also very stupid. To Steve's point, who's leaving that bike

in that exact same position? To just let it weather and rust on the line. Are you looking at some of the shit? He's allowing to stay in his house and outside of his house. That one is just fine. I made a table out of your old bike. Look. There's all these diapers.

We can use these diapers. They're barely used. He is the hottest hoarder you've ever seen. Yeah, yeah. Dude, it is him and this other guy and they just drive around town, taken garbage and collecting it and it reminded me because we're going

back through, we watched it recently, the sunny episode where Charlie and Franks start doing that. They're like, look at all this stuff that they're just throwing away these morons and bringing all this garbage into Charlie's apartment. Look at this. Yeah, like that's what they're fucking doing. It's like, look, someone's throwing away these wrought iron

bedposts. That's ridiculous. Used batteries right here for me. God, it's one thing if you're driving around like collecting furniture, but this is just it's junk. It's just. I remember when I was living in the Bronx I threw out an air conditioner put it out on my curb

and I mean 30 seconds later my doorbell rang and like, excuse me, Sarah, you don't need that I see's garbage? And I'm like, yeah, he's like, but if I take it I'm like, go right? They actually asked you? That's kind of surprised. Yeah, he didn't take anything out of it.

If it's on the street, just take it. I'm making a frion cocktail with it. It tastes better. going down. That guy's probably dead by now. Absolutely. The ironic thing was he was carrying Steve's air conditioner home and another one fell on him. He killed with that very

nice. And the wishbox made its melody as that was happening. Take it off me. But save the Friott. It might still be good. His buddy there is this Carl, played by Kevin Hansen. You've seen him in a bunch. He's just a very very prolific kind of like

eighth level character. Agent 43. Yeah, exactly. Sure, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, they're just, I love it. And it's like, she keeps, it is kind of nuts. Like, if your dad has this embarrassing proclivity, I don't think it's too much to be like,

could you not be by the school? Yeah. You do not be by the school. I love that. We are across the street from the school. I'm allowed to, I could smoke over here, you know, like real. But like, there's, these are huge dumpsters that are presumably maybe for the school.

And it just looks like it's just bad. of like food waste or something that they're going to do. These burgers are still oh look it was fucking pizza Friday and like all these kids are just taking pictures and by the way on her on her way in Joey King's way to sad way to school. She says hello to Sherilyn Fenn. Sure, Mrs.

DeLuca. Yes. A sad old shut-in Mrs. DeLuca. Totally. You know, how about some more shut-ins that looks like Sherilyn Finn? How about that? Exactly. It's a very... Just put that out there. Hot hoarders, hot shut-ins. Wow. Totally. This is truly a fantastic. Well, here's the thing is they might

actually be very attractive. You don't know because shut-ins you never really see and hoarders you never really see. There might actually be a huge demographic of sexy hoarders and sexy shut-ins. But carbon shivers, you do, they're hard to hide those ones. So they might be hot.

If you see a hoarder's house or something, you know like, oh, there's a hoarder that lives there. Yeah. Home invasion. Find out if they're hot. Okay. Find out if they're hot. There you go. Good luck getting around in there during the home invasion. You're going to fucking get buried under newspapers. Totally. We wanted to rob and torture this woman, but I was crushed by a pile

of newspapers she had. Well, I broke the window, but the door won't open. And they're probably aggressive, right? Because they think it's all treasure. Oh, yeah. Right? I survived on pickled something. It was in a jar. It was very muddy. I missed hoarders, man. I watched a shit ton of horses. Did it over? Did they end that? I think they did

end it. What happened to season finale? The series finale, rather. They finally turned the light off on house they find that was the end of it the largest house in America by a hoarder like the most square inch hoarding as one can get I yeah I never watched

a single episode of it because I was because it was one of those things and I'm not like on a high horse at all because I watch tons of exploitive stuff no it's human misery but I was like you're turning around today these people got problems what about what about hoarding coland buried alive I think a different series yes I know

same concept it's like fear of the walking dead They just went to Los Angeles It's a same show with Cliff Curtis Ruben Blades shows up It's nice But yeah so like On her way very importantly She almost gets run over by the mean girls

Oh totally this mean girl I gotta say this bully Darcy Now here's something The way that this bully functions is Darcy bully And also the way that Ryan Philippi is constantly referring to Joey King's character

as buddy and bud I'm gonna wager there's an original draft of this movie where this Joey King character is a boy and the bully's a boy you know what I mean? It's like it's very masculine bullying it's weird right it's weird like that it's not like mean girl

bullying like this girl's a fucking real nasty like Nelson Munn's fucking Stephen King bully it's the whole fucking school like they make the school into like a demon academy they're all like oh like the minute the fucking Ryan Philpay is over there in the garbage. Everybody's

got their phone out. That doesn't happen in actual fucking schools. I'm sorry. It just doesn't. Well, you never know. One or two, maybe. I can understand that. Here's what we got to do with you, Chris. You got to go, we got to get you into the schools to see. We've tried to take a look at KISS protocol before and I'm not doing it. I love been kissed protocol. We got to do it. No. I also you, Eric. Schools are pretty cruel. A buddy of mine, his dad, I don't know if they have this all over the place, but in New York,

they have cops certain cops get the duty of the scooter cop in the little it's like a golf car but it's thinner and smaller yeah those are it's like sub traffic cop humiliation it's like so it's like health and safety you just you just drive around make sure to they made fun of his dad for driving a scooter mercilessly like and he was a friend of mine but mercilessly to the point I remember one time somebody was like come on hop on family we're going on a vacation. Oh, no. You know what I mean?

So, like... Was it an actual cop who was driving the dad? Oh, yeah, his dad was a cop, but that was his duty. He was so awesome. So that kid turned out okay? Yeah, he's all right. He's in our kid.

But it's just, you know, it's... Finding out your dad does something a little embarrassing, they will take it to the limit. Sure. One more time. Yeah. Though, I remember there was a guy, uh, some father of a kid in my grade school was like,

a professional photographer and like if the school had events like sometimes that dude came to take the photos and he's always wearing like a dumbass tie like I don't know if he worked at like a Sears Portrait Studio what kind of photographer he actually was but he just was always dressed like the biggest dufus and he'd be like taking

pictures cornally like the dad at a family function yeah that girl got made fun of it just happens but so they almost hit her here while she's getting her uncle no dialogue from Uncle August

Oh man Like I know this is their actual uncle That they're estranged from Is that the mother's Rome's family Yes yeah that's stated at some point That it's the mother's uncle We don't get it but there

And I imagine this was cut out of whatever grand Fucking three hour version of this No it was great There seems Uncle August did something Ryan Philippe does not trust him Because of it sounds like it's something specific

yeah they don't like they don't he doesn't like uncle august for whatever reason he's like fuck that guy later in the movie when uncle august is dead he's like fucking good ridden and it's such a it's such a fuck this guy attitude to an old man that he did some it's dittling I think it was dittling yeah did he try to kiss you on your wedding

day what's what exactly I want the answer I want to know what's going on here kiss you on your wedding day but so she gives the paper on Galagos, they almost knock her off the road here. It's a real, like, she got clipped by, like, the side mirror or something. Like, this girl goes

down. And the, the two friends that are with Darcy are like, oh, that's so cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. I thought it was kind of cool. Classic gay bully, by the way, question mark. Yeah, absolutely. This dude who's, like, at least 30 years old, he's

got to be. Yeah. But they feel like they're in, like, a different movie. Like, they almost feel like characters from, like, bottoms or something. Yes. It's just, it's like a fake thing. And I'm just like, oh, but you're, you're making Joey King real. Yeah. A little weird. Well, this could be real nowadays. It's been a while. It's been a while. I've wandered the halls of high school. So, well, that's going to say, we should get you in the other. We should all go. Well, ever since they passed that law, you haven't been around. Right. The anti-siska legislation. Oh, right. Yeah. Less said the better.

My name was on that bill. I do love, so Joey King is like, look at this great banner I made. It's so cool for the big scavenger hunt. Don't forget the scavenger hunt. Senior Scavenge Hunt. And it's her, her friend, Barb from Stranger Things. Sure, you got Barb from Stranger Things. Which, like, you know exactly when this fucking movie was made. Barb has a co-starring role.

And then some other girl. Other girl who's, again, this dates it fucking horribly. This other girl who's obsessed with a fake Pokemon Go augmented reality game, like monster hunter or whatever the fuck. Still? Don't kids still go Pokey crazy? I think the pandemic killed the Pokemon. Because you couldn't be outside getting them all.

You're not getting them all. Wow, okay. I had no idea. I mean, Pokemon is still popular. I don't know if Pokemon Go. I mean, it could still be around, but it's certainly not the sensation that it was at the time this movie was written and so they put a fake version of a movie. Right. Okay, yeah, yeah. And also that game winds up being that girl's demise, which is pretty funny later on

the movie. Oh, augmented reality. I guess it's sort of still kind of a thing, right? Well, it's like when Warby Parker is like, you want to see how these glasses would look on you? Like, that's, yeah, AR is still around in that way. And I'm sure a bunch of other ways. But so...

See how this TV is going to fit on your stand at the Best Buy website. This grand hand-painted banner that her and Barb are trying to put up. And here comes Darcy, ice coffee right on it. Calarious. Dude, how there isn't anyone from the school administration that's like, okay, come on. You're going to the fucking principal. Apparently Eric's the principal at this one.

That's so good. It's pretty fun. Why would anyone care about your school and art and banners in it? Isn't that your job, Principal Siska? Oh, Principal Siska. Someone didn't do a background. They made a law that I'm not supposed to be here. I snuck in.

Yeah, I remember kids making banners and stuff for dances and the big game. You ever huck and ice coffee? No, never, not once, and some were pretty bad. But did they really care about their banner they were making? No, they didn't, but that's, I mean, that's the problem is they, they clear, she went too far. Like, I think one of her friends even says, like, you went a, you went a little too hard here. Because it's not just a banner where you, like, painted letters on it. It's like a mural on a thin piece of brown paper.

I couldn't even tell what this was supposed to be. This is terrible art. She should get, I'm sorry, there's a critic in the school. An art critic is going to school. I'm a free thinker, and I'll say what I like it. That's your baby garbage sucks. Her banner reminded me of

I don't know whoever in this room is watching Severance but whenever they show office art that's like the history of Lumen

and it's all these crazy like battle things and whatever and all these really intricate lot of people in the picture

kind of paintings it reminded me of that it's just this big intricate mural with all these little details and characters It was like a fantasy novel

cover it is exactly right Bulldog Senior Scaven That's what this thing There's like evil bulldogs on it Because that's like the mascot of the school

That's a little dark I mean call Principal's office for sure We're gonna talk about these deranged Art you've been doing What other stick figures are bleeding In this book of yours You like evil dogs huh

You like that talk to your principal about this So Darcy's day by the way She wakes up picks up her greatest friends Nearly clips a girl Who's mom kills herself That's still not enough Nope no That girl's got some self-confidence.

She painted a banner. I don't think so. Ice coffee, curse smash. Absolutely. And she's not done. No. Isn't it also funny that they have this senior scavenger hunt and her father's a professional scavenger? Yeah, I never thought of that.

That's a conflict. She wouldn't have all these great scavenging ideas. Oh, totally. She's got the upper hand. Oh, sorry, you can't participate. What was your father's career and all? Sorry. The items aren't placed in the garbage.

You won't find any of it. in the garbage. And because the movie sort of needs this to happen, because of the nature of what the mystery box is and where it comes from, Joey King's character, I've never heard of this in a high school. Pretty awesome language program here.

She's taking fucking Cantonese. That'd be great. Pretty advanced. God, I was like, is this an American high school? You're going to be French these days. Seriously. You guys had Russian, which is pretty surprised. Yeah, our language program was pretty big. We had French, Spanish, Russian, Russian,

German and Latin was in there too. It was Catholic high school, it was Spanish and I think Italian because a lot of the kids were Italian. Oh, yeah, no, we had German, French, and Spanish. The Latin, I was like, you fucking nerds. There was, like, the nerds took Latin. Yeah, we did not have Latin.

So other Catholic schools did, but we did that. That's actually kind of surprised you, right? Yeah, it would have been helpful for you. You could flirt back with your priest. My brother had to take Latin. Oh, really? Yeah. Gordon Prep, which is the better school.

Oh, nice. Hey, hey, father. A Dominic Patriot? Dominic Patriot? A Domino Patriot? Spirited something. La, la, la, la. I thought only the Baptist spoken tongues.

God damn. But, yes, she's taking care to these. And that's just sort of happening. Meanwhile, we follow Philippian Carl dumpster diving. He's got these four. rods that he's really excited about. These rods. Shower rods or whatever. This is like rod iron. So you know,

I mean, this guy has definitely ripped the fucking, what do you call it there? The stuff out of the house copper wire. He's definitely done that. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. While inhaling a bunch of delicious asbestos probably. These rods, though. Jesus, son, horseshit.

Loud deep pull. No, the thing with the rods is that's where he's at his most like Charlie Kelly, because he's like, look at these rods. We can do all sorts of cool stuff with these rods and break these rods on fright, put them in the trap. And he also finds the wishbox. There he's like, my little girl's got a birthday coming up, garbage present. Freebie, freebie presents.

What does it do? I don't know, it's a present. And here's a half-eaten big bag. Somebody threw out of Sega Genesis. Does that do anything for you? There's something in the game. Oh, oh, there's something. Oh, no.

We'll put some rubbing alcohol on that, but here's half of a Sonic the Hedgehog cartridge. The inside of the thing isn't supposed to be wet, right? Any present you're getting from this guy is a little bit wet. Look, it's a Genesis, and it's stuck inside it still was Ninja Turtles and the Hyperstone Heist, okay? It was a Sega Genesis exclusive turtles. And yes, there are no adapters or controllers.

There you go. Enjoy it. I washed it thoroughly. I think of it like a sculpture you can have around It's kind of cool Meanwhile she's getting bullied In the lunchroom a little bit here

And then this is just the absolute funniest fucking thing I did not expect from this movie Because again like you You Darcy have thrown Ice Coffee at this girl Nearly killed her this morning And you walk by her and her friends

Just laughing You know It's just laughing She's like What's so fucking funny And it's like I want to know And then she gets up

And gives this great speech we called you smegma or the ultimate smegma. Yes. Smegma into ultimate smegma, yes. And then she's like, what smegma? So Claire has to like get up and I, you know, Pam or whatever her fucking name is, picks up the phone. She's like, here, just read.

Just read from Urban Dictionary for a few minutes in this movie. Really cut down on the fucking time. And like Joey King just reads the definition of smegma to this girl. It's very funny. I got to give this movie points for having smegma in there. And I'm sure this is what all the kids are saying. Absolutely. Right in. Very hip language. Also, if you're in high school now, listening to this, start calling people smegma.

If you're on the bus with somebody, like, you're smegma. Yeah, it's your smegma. Ultimate smegma. Which I actually, I was pretty, because like, ultra, we weren't saying ultimate or ultra, but we were saying smegma in high school. It's a great word. It's a fantastic word. I'm surprised, though, that it's lived on that we're putting smegman in high school harmonies. And people are doing it now, right? Because start spreading it. Don't tell, don't tell anyone you. got the idea from us. But you don't want to get in trouble yet.

But now, we've already done it the negative way. You've got to go the other way with it now. So, like, when something's really good. What's positive? You got to be like, oh, that's ultra smegma. Oh, that is that's so good. Oh, nice bike smegs, dude. Total smegg.

Hot smegg. Smegg jacket you got there. I learned, I remember learning what smegma is in high school because a rumor went around that this girl broke up with this dude that we kind of knew because he had a smegma problem. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, I guess she was tired of it. I learned it when I was eight playing

Super Mario Brothers. My sister's friend was there. They're about seven years old. Cooper does this? Kupa did what? They're about seven years old. Remember that level of Super Mario Brothers where it's like gold shit that goes up and down? It's like, it looks like gold, but it's

like really firm and like Mario has to avoid her. It'll crush him. Yes, my sister's friend called that smegma and I just for the rest of my life I refer to that when I think of smegam I think of that level of marriage but so you then you heard the word but I had no idea no no right yeah exactly

so when was that course correct did you were like oh my god I've been saying what from Mario all this time he saw a wish upon last night but you also you as the bully when someone says your smegma after you've been bullying them don't wait to throw hands don't ask for the definition you know

it's bad you know what I mean like just throw hands if you're going to throw hands. So there's a little bit of a cat fight here that happens. Yeah, yeah, got fight. It's a pretty fucking big slob knocker. It's not even a, it doesn't, it starts like slaps. The slaps are pretty good. Slaps are pretty good, but then we just go full on like grounded pound.

There's a, there's a, uh, Joey King gets pushed over a chair. She also gets fucking million dollar baby to this movie. Which, you know, better movie. Sherilyn Vind kind of gets a million dollar baby. She definitely does. Well, she's got a fucking industrial fucking garbage disposal. Dude, I think Tim Allen installed it. You got the one that they give to, like, huge restaurants.

I don't know how industrial. Never have a garbage disposal. You're just asking to die. Yep. No, there's no reason to have this. Anything can happen. Just clean your fucking kitchen, you lazy pigs. Yeah.

She doesn't see. Pick the fucking trash out of your fucking sink and put it in the garbage, you disgusting pigs. That's what she's trying to do, Eric. That makes no sense, though. Well, because if you have one, why wouldn't you... Why don't you have a guillotine over your sake? You know what I mean? Exactly. Exactly.

When that scene comes, though, like, it makes no sense. Like, you don't know what she's trying to do because she's getting her fucking hand in there. And I'm like, I see carrots and I see celery. What are you trying to dig out? You need her to lose a ring or something. Precisely. She's just like, well, this all appears to be functioning as it should. The noise is weird. That's what she's so weird. There's a little metallic sling.

Something's happening in there. And I'm like, who cares? Go to bed. It's not broken. Just leave the room. You know, I've never actually seen one in real life. I've only seen it. People tell me they exist.

They do. I have yet to see them. My parents had them not in the house they live now, but the one before. And I was just like, I want you guys to cover this up. I don't need your fucking fingers in there. Why do you have this? You know, compost shit. You know, anything.

You're asking for trouble. Joey King does not really get suspended or anything, really. She just kind of goes home with a black guy. She goes to Cheryl and Finns and She's like making juice for her. Yeah. She's just like, oh,

you must have a crush on somebody, boy or girl. And it's like, no, it's a boy. His name is Paul. He's one of the, he's like the,

the popular kid. Yeah, the second mean girl's boyfriend. Correct. Which I don't even know if that girl's like named at any point. No, probably is,

you know, whatever. But so she drinks the juice, you know, have a good day. You know, things are a little bright now. Drink it the juice.

She wheezes the juice. and then she goes home to Ryan Philip A and he's like, happy birthday, buddy. Buddy, it's fucking buddy, man. And here's this box I found in the trash for you. What am I supposed to do with it? I don't know. Well, it's got Chinese lettering on it.

You like Chinese stuff. You're taking Chinese or some shit, right? Looks like somebody made. There's one of them fancy, smancy 3D printers out there, you know? Oh, it's ancient you say. But him and Carl, it was a long day. They're just crushing some beer

up the porch. Long day of fucking dumpster diving, dude. Did you find those beers in the trash also? Was that outside a fucking convenience store dumpster? We only drink what we find. It's a rule between me and you, we always what we find.

That would be awesome if your father just starts vomiting on your porch after giving you a birthday and then he starts picking it up, scrabbing it. Like, look, someone left this here. Some one. These carrots and peas might help somebody. I can sell these keys and kids. Happy birthday dinner.

I don't know what this girl is eating. We should see at least one sad, frozen meal. Right. Bill of B is not cooking. That's that weird, but she hands him a bag. And the bag, he's dismayed to find inside of it is salads. But I don't know if A, if that's just like free lettuce or if there's an actual salad. in there, she bought somehow.

I think, well, because Cheryl and Fenn got it for them, right? Oh, is that she goes back for Cheryl and Penn's house, like, oh, we got from Ms. DeLuca or whatever. Because I think it's like, Ms. DeLuca knows that you're a widower, and I'm eating fucking Kraft macaroni and cheese powder every night for dinner. I'm going to say 10 years on, man. You've got to put your shit together.

The bicycle is the least of the issues at this point. Dumpster Daddy making a salad would be like lawn clippings. There's some grass. A little bit of dirt in there for protein. Vound salad. I put some seeds. You haven't finished your dandelions. Oh, you guys is going to say dandelions. They'd definitely be in a lawn salad.

That's a nice floral. Classic lawn salad. But so she goes into a room and she's like, oh, this is a nice Chinese box that doesn't open. That's cool. And she looks online and there it is. It's not only video of the fight, which is something. Hell yeah. But they're calling her garbage girl because she does have indeed, because we have photographic evidence of her hashtag dumpster daddy.

Garbage Girl and Dumpster Daddy Wasn't that a Robert Rodriguez film that I missed? Totally, yeah, it was Antonio Banderas, a couple of kids Nobody remembers. I think Melanie Griffith was also in that. Yeah, Carla Bouguino is also. Oh, no, it was Carla. It wasn't Melanie, you're totally right. It was filmed entirely on green screen

and in Robert Rodriguez's garbage. Lava Girl, you must destroy dumpster Daddy. I'm sorry, Dubster Daddy is a really good one, man. But like, I want to go back to high school to bully that girl. I'd be too. I mean, but that is such a weird, like, you're fucking, your garbage scrounging dad is hot. Yes.

That is a weird. I don't know if that's a, I don't know what that is. I don't know if that's a compliment. He's only hot when he's playing the saxophone. Yeah, that's true. But why would you call it daddy? Well, no, it's just, it's the illiteration. We're having fun here.

I guess, but everybody knows the daddy. The daddy is a, but I think, 17, daddy had exactly. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it was just, I don't know if the, the, the, the, whateverification of daddy had happened. at that point. Audience, you have it in the comments in search. I think Daddy was well known at that point.

We need some Daddy Historians. We do. We don't have any historians in here. So she like opens this thing and it's like playing the eerie music? She can't open it. It opens by itself. Oh, sure. Right.

Afterward, the wish has been grunted. With the curse and all, yes, that's right. But she grabs it and she's holding watching this video and she's like, oh, I wish Darcy's so and so would just rot. Rot, which is a weird. it's a weird thing to say about somebody I wish you'd rot just go right for it

I wish she was fucking dead drop dead yeah yeah or eat shit and then she has to eat shit yeah oh that would be

that would be oh you'll made a wish she's going to eat some shit tonight it's going to be an old you can eat the buffet of shit and I mean that's a thing

if the wishmaster showed up such a better film anything like give me a figure in the shadows give me a voice I don't care totally I mean it's this like

ancient Chinese box or whatever. Get a fucking Asian actor in there to play like the ghost of whatever's or you don't go full on Willam Defoe a death note. Hi, how you doing? Oh right, dude. That was a mistake. How did he do that? Not a great idea. Oh, hey.

Writing a little death note on you. Yeah. The man in the shadows is her boyfriend. That's the man in the shadows. Oh, right, right. It's a bear who's obsessed with her. So we cut to the next morning. It's clearly a rich person's house here and Darcy

is waking up. The friends have slept over and are just crashing on the floor, which is weird only because we're told in the previous, you know, days worth of scenes that it is indeed a Monday. Sure. Because when she gets sideswiped by that car trying to get the

newspaper for Uncle August, she's like, huh, Monday's starting out great isn't it, Uncle Garfield? That's interesting. So Monday night into Tuesday, they sleep over. We're sleeping over. So that you can't have like four or five kids using the same bathroom in the morning. Jesus Christ, what a Well, it's a rich person house, so presumably there's maybe some of the bathroom.

They're probably very expensive. There's probably eight bathrooms. Right. Exactly. I mean, it's just to have the kids see her in the morning. Sure. Yeah. But I assume the way they have this relationship between these three, I imagine the other two are

like suckling on her many like a pregnant dog-esque tits. Of course. Every night before they go to bed. They got to get their susten. Their popular juice, yes. But so she wakes up and like, she got these like thigh high stock. on but you can tell her legs are all messed up but she's like well that's odd and she peels them off and like it's evil dead under there dude it is a rotten ass foot man and it's pretty you know again

like this movie for a pg 13 movie it gets there i will say that yeah you want it to be r you want it to go all the way sure but you know but it's high school don't go all the way in high school wait maybe your freshman year of college well it depends if you're in love or not eric exactly yes you got to get married the big l mature are you mature enough to have sex No, but like her legs are, like, you, you yourself, you squirm. You're like, okay, it's a PG-13 movie and I am squirming. If it's an R-rated movie, she's picking stuff off her body. Yes, exactly, yes.

Or it's just shit, like, it's just sliding off. Oh, yeah. And then she looks at her, her face actually pretty generous, just some, like, a little, a little bit of a two-face. It's kind of like they recently rescued her from the Borg, but they haven't got all the shit off her face yet. I think it makes her look cooler, yeah. It's pretty cool. Oh, number one, number one, do I look? Disgusting

I got this Lucutus out of my eyes How does it look? Is it bad? Give it a pass. Can you give a nice little poll there? All right now

today is the first day the captain's coming back. He's very sensitive about the look cutus marks on his face. Do you notice it? Do you notice it? No, I don't see anything, Captain.

Welcome back, Captain. Oh my God, I made the robot vomit. Welcome back, Captain's face. God damn it. Fuck, Captain's face. I mean, because, And yes, there is smegma coming out of the holes.

You can say it. That's what the smell is. Before you start asking questions. And before you look for clarification, Mr. Data, yes, it's ultimate smegma. I had the doctor's check. So, yes, we learn later in the day at school that she's suffering from necrotizing fasciitis, which I believe is the flesh-eating virus. Yes, it is.

That they say that she got during a spa day, which is unfortunate. because it's, of course, the product of Joey King's wish, but now this spa's in trouble. Oh, the spa's in huge trouble. We're going to close down, the fucking health department. That should be another wish. Well, I don't wish the spa any bad will. Yeah, the proprietors there.

Maybe help the spa house. I wish Rory's spa house on St. Boulevard would stay up, and please. So, like, it is really fucking funny here. Like, they're looking at the video and they see her, whatever it is, and Joey King, King goes, wow, she's rotting. And the second she says rotting,

she makes this really bad like light bulb facial expression. I'm like, that's the word I use last night. Oh, no. And then like, it's probably nothing. The friends come by, they're collecting for a GoFundMe. Which is amazing because she's rich.

And they're like, we're starting to go fund me. And like, they're like, oh, you don't want to, you don't want to give? Yes. Oh, that's gross. And I'm like, what? You switch the movie again. We're in a different movie again.

Go fund this with the fingers. I love it. Pretty great. And not just fingers, folks, middle fingers. Middle fingers, and she does like the downturn, like, however you want it. It's the middle fucking finger. How dare you not give money to your sworn enemy? I just don't know.

That's just disgusting. I've never heard of such a thing. That's the brassy friend. That's a Meredith. Meredith. There it is. And of course, because Shannon Persson who played Barb on Stranger Things, her name was Barb on Stranger Things.

She used to be June here. Like, just we're keeping it in that like. Ethel. Is that her name in that movie? Exactly. we don't want to stray too far from Barb No glasses though No no glasses I think she was like

All right I'll do your movie but these Sally Jesse Raphael glasses are coming off I don't give a shit Not doing that and I'm not getting in a fucking swimming pool Thank you very much And because this movie is written by a cruel fuck The first victim of this piece of shit Wishbox is the poor goddamn dog Yeah he's with Max

He ordinarily sleeps in her bed By the way, he is, when the wish box comes back, the dog's like, fuck this. Yes, it's the same dog. That's what's actually a nice little thing is like, it's a puppy at the start of the movie. And then Max is like a little senior citizen dog now. Killing the dog is weird because it's like other times it just kills people. Yeah. Are they saying dogs are the equal of people?

I believe so. Which is stupid because dogs are above human beings. And then why not more animals dying later on? Exactly. Why doesn't this affect the local zoo? You're cutting out of the local zoo Where the elephants are bleeding Well I think the thing is you

Joey King Because it's like a blood price thing And like later when she meets You know Ryan's cousin or whatever She gets killed immediately Because she likes her I think it's a matter of like knowing And liking the thing

So like if that was me And if I could figure If I could game this out I would go to the zoo And be like I love you baboon Oh I love you so much And then wish for a million bucks

Oh no my favorite baboon died you think you are fucking you think you are pulling the wool over the eyes of a chinese demon yeah you're right he's just going to be like you don't really care about that man are you serious that's the first time he met that monkey i know you don't give a shit about the panther go home but to the point we're making with this joke the fact that the box just doesn't do anything doesn't produce a demon doesn't say shit it puts it in this final destination category. Yes. Yeah. And that's a mistake. It is. Because you need the cool kills and we try to do it, but the editing to get the PG-13 kills all of it. So it's like you don't have a villain and it's boring kill-wise. Her dog basically just goes out to the house and dies. You don't even see it die. You just see the body. It's just the fucking oh. And the rats. The rats ate it open. Yeah, you see the body and the rats that are eating the intestines out of it. Thank you very much. That's fucking nice. We should say every time that this is happening. The Wishbox opens and a weird, eerie song that's a music box plays.

And then it comes. We'll say a positive thing about this movie. The whole production design on this box is pretty cool. I like all the intricate music box gears and everything. Classic lacquer on it, I will say, that was the one thing I kind of have an issue with. It's like, it's a little too nice. Yeah. For the ancient thing from many a year and like it looks like you bought this at Target.

Well, that's the thing is, like, and they don't explore it in the movie, right? When they try to destroy it later on in the film and, like, Ryan is hitting it with a sledgehammer and nothing's, like, it should be like, oh, I hit this thing. And there's not even a scratch on it. They should play it up. Yeah. The move is taking it on Antiques Roadshow and get a fucking mint. Oh, absolutely. You get that one British guy who is like, it's Chinese.

There's one guy that, like, is British. He's like the Chinese exes like, yes, it's in this dining. But he was, yes, it is Chinese. Now tell me, when it opens, what song does it play? Does it, oh my God, it does not play. It does not play. When I'm going to make you sweat by C&C music. I've been tangoing with that box for many years.

That Chinese box took my wife. Oh my god How about some takeaway From the Chinese That's very funny I've never seen that guy He's really good Yeah he's a younger looking guys

He's got a pick that he's picking it stuff Oh much Chinese Not Japanese Chinese But so the dog is dead They bury it She's like oh Dog funeral scene in the middle

of the shitty horror movie You gotta have a dog funeral for this guy Are they putting them in the front lawn, though? I think of a good look at that. Right next to the bike. They have not moved. Eat them. You're hard up for food in this house.

Some pro-sheen. Yeah, that might not be a bad idea. I don't know, though, because you would assume part of it is that the dog ate like rat poison. Yeah. And that's like, you don't want to be eating that shit. Yeah. I guess so. But she's holding the collar, like, you know, very sentimentally.

And he's like, you know, I could do something with that collar. I could make something out of that collar. You wanted me, too. I could take that collar and, like, maybe turn it into a cool tie for me, like a cool clip-on tie. We were watching a pee-wee the other night, and, you know, he had that big machine that makes breakfast. Maybe we get one of this as a rotor for a breakfast-making machine. Yeah, it's just a part of the breakfast machine. Dad, you've been talking about this breakfast machine for 12 years.

It's never going to happen. I just need a few more curtain rods to make the conveyor belts. There'll be egg on your face because I'm still working out the kinks on this thing. I'm not hearing you I'm not hearing you But so she buries it's very sad We go to the school And she goes to her

Chinese language teacher And this dude very pointedly And this you gotta remember this Especially for the mid-credit sequence At the end of this movie The guy says This box, the writing on it, Joey King Is in ancient Chinese

so I, the Chinese language teacher, can't read it for you. You're going to have to get some like academic to do it. Just keep that in mind. This is what we're told, quote, ancient Chinese. Much like the secrets. And then here comes Ryan with his skater buddy and

he's like, you know, my cousin Gina could probably do that. She's a scholar. For titpicks. Yeah. The buddy ruins it, man. Because I'm talking to this girl here. If you don't mind. And he's got like a years long

standing crush on Joey King. You know, other guy knows that. Exactly. You know what I mean? And I do love in the credits. By the way, this guy's just credited as Ryan's friend. Yeah. Yeah, for titpicks. Oh, yeah. I said, yeah, I'll keep that in mind. That's how you get cast as

Ryan's friend. You start fucking ask for titpicks. Yeah. Oh, he went to the audition and asked the casting director for some titpics. That kid's got it. Oh, my God. That's Ryan's friend right there. I mean, he's good, but it was a little rude. But she goes home and she's mooning over this dude, Paul all day. And then she goes, you know, and she's looking at his Facebook or whatever Facebook.

Oh, uh, Pix a Post. Thank you. Oh, God. I missed it. I love that. Dude, straight out of a fucking Lifetime movie with Pixa Post. Any fucking fake Facebook I'm in on. I'm just so funny.

I was going to say, there is, like, this is kind of a best case scenario for Lifetime horror. Yeah. Oh, yeah, big time. This is like, because the feeling of the movie. overall is the after school special. After school special, dead parents, shitty father. Reminds me of that one we did actually on Lifetime, which was the devil's diary. Devil's diary, yes. Oh, yes. The doll. Yes, the doll. No, no, no. There's that's two different ones. There's a book and there's a doll. Yeah. Folks at home, we were talking about our life, once in a lifetime

series on Patreon where we do Lifetime movies. And it's great time. We got a new one of those coming out next month. As a matter of fact, we just laid that down. Pocket to Dial Murder. It was a horror. It was a horror. But so she's like, I hope that I wish that Paul's Moon House or whatever the fuck this fake name. Middlebrook.

Middlebrook. Moonhouse! Those damn kids at Moonhouse. I would have you called a Moonhouse. I wish that Paul Moonhouse falls madly in love with me. They got that name for flashing their asses at the Dean. That's a goddamn moonhouse. Oh, he's flashing now behind at me.

Oh, I'm the crusty old Dean. who did this, moon house. I'm going to kick you out. Now I will be showing you my moon. Dean, that prank waggling dicks around wasn't us. We're fucking moonhouse, man. We show butt, not

dick. You might see our balls occasionally depending. That butt is shitting on the day of commencement? It's a shitting moon? The shitting moon will come too soon. If you're mooning, you might as well step it up

a notch get a log out of that guy that's a lot of coordination put your ass out of car window and take a shit and then you know possibly accidentally like piss all over the inside of the car yeah don't you're a teenager or college student you can do that accidental out of it

go full John Waters I pissed and shit in here yeah and now let's play with it oh cockat play um so yes Paul's all hot for her the next day talking to Claire in the hallway yeah and it's kind of funny because he like stopped and he's like hardcore flirting with this girl.

And then the girlfriend is like, Paul, what are you doing? Like flirting right in front. It's kind of funny because it takes him a while to break up with the girlfriend. He's like, oh, nothing. And like, you know, he got to goes on his business. I think she doesn't,

she's not sure if this wish worked is the idea. She's uncertain. But the fact that the dude is talking to her at all is kind of like, hmm. And then we as the audience know that this wish worked because we cut to Uncle August. Oh, it's bath time, an Uncle August house.

I love this. Bath time where you fucking need a nerve. to be helping you out clearly Uncle August. This would have happened anyway. This fucking bathtub's a death trap for a senior citizen. I don't see any of those little pads on it. And where's the door? You'll open the little door

so you can walk in, you don't have to lift your old foot up or lift. Or at least a bar to like pull your size. Well, I lived on the edge my whole life. Might as well just have a normal bathtub. It's a it's your freestanding sleek egg design.

Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just something like you can't get in this tub after 65. Like, it's so dangerous. I'd be nervous. I was nervous in the shower this morning thinking about this movie, honestly. See, Wishapon due to cautionary tale. It's a scary movie. Look at it. He's terrified. This dude slips

and cracks his head on the fucking side of the tub. Hilaries. And then I love how he tries to get up and smashes his head on the faucet. The rare double bonk. Because you get the bonk on the way down and it's a good gunk. And then like, he's like, wait, the water is hitting him from the tap. And he wakes up and does, and he gets

it there too. The second one didn't kill him. I think the first one really like the first one did the most damage but also like we said the taps on he's getting waterboarded he's fucking waterboarding himself. He's drowning to death I mean the thing isn't doing it the drowning good. He was a bad guy

apparently that's what Ryan Phillip he's telling he made the news though apparently I think it's like you know you don't know I believe this is Pennsylvania set or possibly Ohio set I think actually Ohio yeah I think And he, again, it's not all in the cut and maybe it wasn't even the script,

but he feels like one of those, this was the guy that owned the town. Oh, yeah, Ohio Richie. Like the richest, the richest guy in the town. We don't. Yes. Oh, my God, that guy's house is worth $50,000. He must, he's the richest man of the world. Ohio, you're nice, but your cost of living is less than ours.

We're jealous. It hurts. It really just hurts when we. about it is what happened. The money I'd have if I didn't have the rent I have. My God. We could move to Ohio and like run the place. That's fine. What? Not even Columbus?

No, not even Columbus. Oh, man. But so yeah, so, you know, Ryan Philippe's like, yeah, a glog is gone, good and good rents. And she's like, oh, wow, do you think he's like, if there's a will, we ain't in it, you know? So she goes upstairs. Yep.

She got a perfect good wishbox up there, you know what I mean? That was the, I mean, you don't even, the funny thing is, you don't even, I mean, like, you know, it's good to cash in on this. All you didn't do is I wish I had a million dollars or I wish I was a billionaire. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're good for the rest of your life and three generations of your family out in Ohio. Exactly. But also, like, it shows you that it's a stupid kid, right? They need, the smart kid would have done this first.

They would have saved it. Always your first wish. This is going to be your first one. And, hey, if your dog dies because of that, you'll get over it. I got to say. buy a new dog. The first time, right, you kind of get the sense. Like, oh, it's an accident.

She didn't know what was going on. She made that first wish and whatever. But, like, I feel like that happens. And then you're, like, you know, coupled with, oh, there's all these, like, Chinese characters on it that I need to get translated still. I'm not wishing on anything until that translation comes over. For sure. But I would never get, I would never put it together that these are related things. because there's no demon telling me

and then also like everyone fucking dies. I know so many people who die. That's true. They all, I've known so many people who are now dead. It's insane. I mean, yeah, I would get that but I think I would pick up on it pretty quickly because I'd be like, well, nothing good happens to me normally. So this

has got to be something nice and new. This has got to be a supernatural forces involved with this, especially if you're Joey King. Yeah. You've had a life of fucking nightmares. You just fucking, this actually something nice happening. I would be like, something's up so she's like I wish we got all of Uncle August

money you know what I mean you left us everything and boom wouldn't you know it that's what happens he changed his will and she's got I want Uncle August's like daughter to be like excuse yes yes they're gonna show fuck they're gonna show up and start harassing them exactly the family's got

to be like excuse me we're supposed to go to this cat this beautiful cat right here this tabby we're supposed to have all that money mr. wish-kish money you have. How dare you? But it's weird. I mean, I guess it makes sense. They don't sell the house. I just move into this

place where this dude died. I hope you clean the tub goods. Seriously. They are moving in, like, right away or whatever, and I do love this great, like, you know, she's so excited. She sees what her dad is moving here, and she's like, you're taking the sacks with you? And I was

like, pardon me, what? Exactly. Because this is the first utterance of sacks. A phone? Is that what you're telling me? At least. at least at least in lost highways early on you know that he's a saxophone player but he's wailing it on it like bill pullman here he really is they move into this nice ass glass house thing here and get a little montage of her taking the friends out little shopping free like she's buying them like eight eight hundred dollar purses i'm like i don't know about that no no no no no the

movies like this always have these like these songs where like four scenes like this for the scene when she's at the party where like she's popular again where it's like in this one it's like we're spending money we're spending money and good point Chris the soundtrack in this movie is abysmal it's hard to take it's all just music from like 15 years ago

that sucked then and is worse now well it sounds like actually when we watch it 902 and oh it sounds like the fake music they would play in that and I'm like well just license real music you know like but it's relating more directly to like when she goes to the I'm popular party It's like, we're better than everyone.

Yes, we are. Make a wish that music was good because of this universe, apparently. No, no, there's no good. I wish that all non-diagetic music around me sounded awesome. Thank you. Just a little bit. Around here, we also start getting the stalker or someone in the bushes that she keeps seeing. Like, she's sleeping, like what's going on here?

And it's funny because she had said that she wanted this Greg fellow to be maddeningly. in love with you. Couldn't just say, Hey, I would like Paul to like me. Yes, exactly. I'd like Paul to get a big old boner for him. No, I would like him to be obsessed with me. Yeah.

Dangerously, if so. That'd be great. Like, whenever Paul sees me, he gets a humongous chubby. Not again! Yes, and then he's got, like, he's walking around the school with a huge heart on. It's starting to hurt.

We have too many classes together. Then maybe the demon misinterpretes and, like, oh, chubby, and he just gets fat. Oh, totally. She walks by, he just blows up as a fat guy. I was going to say, if that was happening and every time you saw this girl, which is multiple times a day,

you have the biggest hard on of your life, maybe that just ends with suicide. That's what you can't stop it. At least going to a doctor. This thing won't go down. She's the last girl I would date. Like, Christ, I don't want to see this girl ever again. No.

So when we're doing the shopping montage or whatever, we are seeing the repercussions of that because this is Cheryl and Finn is fucking around the garbage disposal. Told you. We sort of started talking about this. And the movie does a fake out of like, well,

we don't have the budget to make a hand go in there and blow up all over the place. This and the Ryan Philippe car scene are the most final. Oh, actually, no, the elevator is very final destination. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not, it's very, it's all very funny. Well, this is, this is specifically final destination because it's doing that fake out of like, you see the hand.

There's like a camera. I like water. Yeah, water's going on precisely. And then like she turns the stove off and you're like, Hugh, okay. And her like hip is, almost touching the switch

so like that's going on and then uh-oh her big long ponytail gets stuck in and this garbage disposal I guess has seen a couple of Liam Neeson movies in his day because this garbage disposal breaks this woman's neck wouldn't it like just cut her hair off or something?

Yeah well I mean that's what I was saying like this is from the plate like maybe Peter Lugar's has a fucking garbage proposal like this like this is industrial grade shit and a lot of women died using it. Probably did. Probably did Eric. And also

who you would have to, you had a psycho putting this in for you who put the fucking lever right there for a push lever. To be like a hair. Just a little hair trigger push button. By the way, the most annoying part about that garbage disposal only takes cash. Oh, Christ. Son of a bitch. I hear I hear the mafia has something to do. So yeah, Claire is like painting in a room and the music goes off again

like right to be like I've killed someone it's kind of great because it takes so long to figure out that she's dead yeah it does because she's a shut-in and that's what happens so like I think the next scene is she finally goes to Ryan like hey I'm curious what's going on with this thing

why do you think there's this a whole like why do you think mom did it scene we're talking about that for a little like you know we do have one scene where he is I think it's during the rich montage where it's the first time you see Ryan Philip you play the saxophone. It's right here, yes. And, like, it's just Joey King in this

glass house. And, like, she just like peers and is like, oh, my God, my dad rules. It's amazing. I am amazed. Like, it's not as bad. I'm not saying it's as bad. But it is not that far. Having Jazz Dad is not far off from having

dumpster daddy. Yeah. No, it's not. It's really not. It's nearly as bad, I would say. Hashtag Jazz Daddy. That's not great. They not that on your Instagram. They all think It's lame. Trust me. Also, the only thing that this does, for me at least, is I was like, oh, no.

Because Barb is like, oh, my God. That's a little weird. Her faucet. So hot. The faucet is turned on. And they fucking do a nice little camera. The camera goes in on her. So you're like, oh, fuck.

Ryan Philpay is going to fuck it. Fuck Barb. When that scene happens, I thought that that's what they are doing as well because it kind of like comes in. The camera comes in on her a little bit. And the funny part about it is, yes, he's not going in the dumpster anymore. But the big deal. he shaves his like ratty beard

that he's got right but he's still Ryan fucking Phil of the whole movie like I'm sorry he's like a hot dad it was fine the whole time exactly yeah there's no problem but watching him just even solo playing the saxophone this solo scene is funnier than when the girls are watching because he I guess has been like playing around in the house you know when you move into a new place

you got to figure out what all the switches do and whatnot and he's like oh this button turns on a spotlight in the living he's perfectly lit playing the saxophone and like why why does he he do this more of like why he can just like collect cans and shit during the day and then go to a club at night. If you're a jazz musician

you're not working during the day. Exactly. Your night starts at earliest 8 o'clock. Well but Eric you're not understanding. The money solved his problem. The money actually made the ghost go away for a bit. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm a millionaire now. I'm not sorry about

my dead wife anymore. Excellent. I have a house and I'm able to give my I have a new car and I could give my kid a fucking a gold card to go spend at the fucking Galleria. Fantastic. One of my favorite exchanges with her and Paul happens right here.

It's the next day at school. And this is where he's like, hey, I broke her with my girlfriend. Would you like to go to Senior Scavenge Hunt with me? And she's like, well, I already have a team with my friends or whatever. And he's like, well, we could still just go together. And she's like, all right, I'll think about it.

The reason why I like it so much, she is dressed like the fucking maid and clue. I don't even know what this outfit is. I don't know what this fucking shirt is at all. It's ridiculous. this black frilly thing with white all over it. It's kind of tie on it. You know what I mean? It's a bad shirt. You should wish for a better

shirt. It's a second grade B tier Wednesday Adams gear. Yeah, I'm not into it. Precisely. But this is what she goes to Ryan like, yeah, maybe I should wish it on this thing like fucking crazy. Maybe I should figure out what it says. You know, my cousin's a slut for wantons. I'm okay.

Could you say that a different way? No, I can't. Oh, okay. Because she's like, oh, yeah, you know, you said there's a price, like, what's the price? And yeah, you expect to be like maybe some money or, hey, why don't you buy a dirt? She's a fucking slut for one. I am too, by the way. I love those. She will take ancient Chinese text right into mouth.

She will do that. She will do that tomorrow. So they're driving to this girl's loft or whatever, and there's this awkward convo where he's like, now before we get there, I just want to clear the air on something. When we were in the sixth grade, you fucking farted. blamed it on me and everybody called me McFarts for like seven years. Mick Farts. Now I'm going to be honest, when you farted

that one time, I did get a boner. I did, when I heard it. That crossed my wires for the rest of my life. I'm into some weird stuff. I'm into some weird stuff. I'm just getting out of the clouds now, man. I'm seeing the sunlight. In fifth grade, I farted in a girl's face. They're a gym class. Is that right? Do you turn you on? No.

It just And the problem is nobody called her? No. Turn on her faucet. Everyone did it. He started by saying. I started by saying it was in the fifth grade you fucking degenerate. They were both the same age, it's okay. We're just trying to get some answers. It was gym class

and it was, she had to like hold my legs for sit-ups. It was mid-sit-up and it just, I fucking tuned. She jumped back like I shot her with a gun and everyone. You may as well have. Everyone turned and looked at me and it was just

wait a second. I thought you went to an all-boys school. No, this is grade school. Wow, this is where they got the idea to separate you. Exactly. We got to get that guy at a different school. He's farting in that girl's face. The Lord, yeah, let's get the Lord on this. Was there a nickname that came after the fact?

No, it just got... You ever talk to this girl again? No, it just all got folded into everything else that were making fun of me about. You know what I mean? It was just sort of part of the rich tap. What do you do now? All right, maybe we'll get to it. We should look her up on...

What is it called Picksbox or something? Picks a lot or another fucking? Yeah, we should look. What's she up to these things? Nobody called... Nobody called me McFarty, unfortunately. Oh, that's too bad. Toots with a silent jay.

This just reminded me of something that I had nothing to do with. That was just a terrified onlooker. But we were having an assembly in grade school, probably like the fifth grade. And it was all about, we was just like there to watch a fire safety video. The fire department showed up to play a move. Like dragged the TV card. And I was like, why don't you tell me about the dangers of fucking fire and stop drop and roll? So we're watching this video.

I'm just picturing them going. to the place with the red the hit the reds have the sirens on to put on a movie hit the lights of the cherries we got to get to the school assembly and so we're watching this video that's what there's a fucking guy in a dalmatian suit telling me about stop drop and roll whatever's going on and i'm kind of in the back of like the student circle here and all of a sudden i just see like from the middle of the circle these kids just getting up like two by two like oh my god and like it's getting wider like oh my god all these kids are getting up except for this one kid that's just sitting there still still still watching

in the movie, you see. What happened was, this kid pissed his pants. And the piss pool was growing because he kept it was a fucking real dude. Was he hit the head? Why did he get out? It was a scary video. This kid was kind of a serial peer, dude. There was

a sequel to this story that happened in the sixth grade. But so in the fifth grade, this is happening, and the piss pool, and like this one kid, I guess, was also like wrapped up in watching this video, this one kid, and I'll never forget this teacher, yelling at this kid. Not yelling at the kid that was pissing or whatever.

Yelling at this other kid, Jeffrey, there is a puddle there. Oh, no. It was brutal, dude. This kid pissed the fire safety assembly. It was wild. Okay, what was his sixth grade? Oh, the sequel was in the sixth grade,

so they opened up a new wing of the school, like, for a long time. He christened it, didn't he. Dude, he christened this music room like, you would not believe we're sitting there, getting ready to sing whatever the fuck. This kid just pissed again and just pissed. Pissed all over this chair. It got all over the new rug. Serial pisser, dude.

Love that for him. Serial pisser. I think of it like some kid doing the caddys check. Pissing! But they go to Gina's apartment here. Very cool loft. She's got... Hell yeah.

For a student. I mean, she should cool it with the art, I would say. I... You deserve what you got. The Chinese demon didn't have to do much. The Chinese demon had to make you trip on your... your fucking rug. I guess that's,

he's like following Joey King and he's like, oh, this place is awesome. Oh my God, it's like a playground for me. You know, you could make it hard for me. You know,

I get a lot of these. This is pretty safe. I mean, I don't even think she cares too much about this character, but man, am I coming back here? You're telling me that door

goes to the roof and you can just fall, oh God, I'm going to have a play date here. He could be crippled by indecision. There's so many ways to kill her. So Gina does just say like, oh,

you know, I can read some of it, which is this grand seven wishes. But there's something else here that I can't really get. And also something, something, the legend of Lou May, which is this woman who had the box. We read on Wikipedia, like bubonic plague. She was. Her family was all put in a train car and everybody was suffocated to death. But her.

She just basically swore revenge on all the people. And after revenge, she killed herself. So there you go. And the thing that Gina says is, oh, the other thing that I can't. I mean, got all of, but it says, like, when you, when the music ends, something happens, is what she's saying. And they also know that there is a demon involves, like, oh, it's a Chinese word for name, which I can't remember. Right. But so that's just like this, this story, which you have to imagine, if this movie were a success, there would be a prequel movie about Lou May and how the box was made and all that dog shit.

You would go full Annabelle the Conjuring. You're getting that, that's what I'm saying. You're getting that movie, but you're also getting the rich house where they found the when Ryan Philippe found it. That's also getting a movie. Yep, yep. Elizabeth Rome is getting a movie. You can do a little Hellraiser 3. Like I am the

oh, I'm the English officer that found the box after the event. Yep, yep, exactly. All of this could have been possible if anyone gave a shit about this movie. Maybe we're going to sparking interest right now. It could be. All of a sudden, all these folks are, you know, they want to watch the movie before the episode. All of a sudden, Hulu's like, wow, what the fuck's going on with the Wisherpon file?

Everybody's watching it. Once everyone shares this episode with hashtag Dumpster Daddy, they're going to and that's trending worldwide. They're going to be like, what is this about? You would have to figure out who it is now that actually owns this movie because... It was Orion, right?

It's a weird Orion thing, but it was put out by one of the fastest flame-out distributors of all time, Broadgreen pictures. Sounds like a fucking tax dot. Broadgreen did like this movie. The Terrence Malick movie about the music festival. Song to song. Yeah, I think they did that. Not a lot of

stuff. I got to say, when the broad green pictures logo comes up at the beginning of this movie, I was like, the fuck! Are you kidding me? If they did those two, one good, one bad. That's not bad. You know what? But yeah. Fair, it's fair. 50%. But it's like 824. So she is like,

hey, the weirdest line of this movie is, it follows up with my cousin's a slut for wantons. She goes to the kids like, hey, you know, we just had our little exposition fest here she's like and here's the wantons and she's like oh good I need to be alone when I eat them

I don't like people watching me house these things and I'm like you are eating them right he said slut and now you need to be alone where are these going to go eating it downstairs style like shoving it in there reverse digestion reverse digestion

you shit out of your mouth sure yeah that's the that's the natural conclusion to that But I said she's a slut for him, didn't I? Well, come on. That's it. No, I was being honest. I didn't say she liked eating them.

I said she was slut for him. Listen to me. Jesus. She tried to talk to people. She lines up, they leave. She has to message her friend to find out this secret meaning. And we learned that Ryan has a crush on her. She's like, oh, make your move, dude.

And he's like, I'm trying. I'm trying. Yes. She also gets a response really quickly from. Yes. She emails some academic, this cousin, Gina. about the translation she's like oh thank you for getting back to me so fast you sick son of a bitch like she reads it and she's just like whoa that's messed up but like you don't you don't see

what the dude's email says or whatever man i have just a slut for translation oh boy oh man i just fucking love sucking off translations it's so great and like so now fully with the knowledge that there is only seven wishes and a demon is involved and this other lady died of the bubonic plague and swore vengeance and killed herself and all this cool stuff she said man I wish I was popular and it is like way too late in the movie

like again like the money thing makes total sense like you're a poor kid you want to fucking lift your dad out of the garbage you know I understand that sure yeah but like the popular like what a stupid this is what I'm like I hope this girl gets it yes she deserves it I mean the

popular in high school that's so brief why would you wish for that Well, because she doesn't know that at the time, that's always the catch-22 with these kids. She don't know. Everyone that was popular in my high school are now, dumpster daddy's themselves. All of them?

Holy shit. Upstate dumpster daddy. Exactly. Some fucking human wreckage. So we do have, we got to talk about the cousin's death scene here. It happens while sexy saxophone dad is playing for an audience of three. And then this is, yeah, Pam's getting all fucking hot over it.

Oh, no, that's right. No, that's not even, which one's first? Is it, I wish my dad wasn't embarrassing? I think that's what it is. Yes. First is I wish my dad wasn't embarrassing, which is a dumb wish. It's a dumb wish. She makes that comment in the car while Ryan is driving her home.

Your dad is supposed to be embarrassing to you, by the way. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's just, that's the deal. I wish my dad wasn't embarrassing. Cut to him jazz soloing in the middle of his house with three guys I've never met before. Arms turned on the faucet, if you know what I'm saying. This is the most monkeys, Paul, wishing. of the ball. It's like, oh, no, he's got more

into jazz. You know, as someone who loves jazz, and I love, you know, hearing the music and, you know, whatever, there is nothing funnier to me than watching someone play a saxophone. Of course, it is different than watching someone play a trumpet. It is different than watching

someone play a trombone, a piano, a drum kit, someone playing a saxophone, and I think it's because of... It's sensual. It's sensual, but I feel also it's a childhood of me watching Lenny Pickett playing saxophone on the SNL band and like that dude has been going for it for like 35 years and that going for it with a saxophone and the bigger the saxophone the funnier it is you got to move with it your back is getting into it holding this big fucking thing yeah exactly dancing with C3PO over there I mean you kind of are lost boys obviously hilarious

saxophone national I mean honestly even lost highway it's kind of funny it is yeah the big man for In Bruce Springsteen's band. Oh, Clarence Clems, of course. Yeah, that's, I always think of him. It's kind of funny. But, yeah, so he's blasting. And this is when Barb is just like, I want to fuck your dad.

Yes, that should happen, by the way. And I guess this is her wish come true. Like, awesome, my friend wants to fuck my dad. Is that what you want? It'd be cool if Barb ended up as her new mom. That'd be fucking awesome. That'd be really cool. That's a real, I wish I could go back

and not make any of those wishes. Now, okay, we're two. We're two adults, and she loves dumpsters as much as I do. But then so you have the payment here is Gina's face-fucking these wantons and walking around. The lights go out in her apartment. There is more Final Destination fake-out shit here because she gets locked out on a fire escape. Yeah, she's really rickety. It's a million feet up.

I mean, I don't know where she lives. She lives like a 30-story fucking tower. It's crazy. But literally all the Chinese demon had to do was make the rickety sound. And then she runs in and, goes head first into a bull horn. She's got a big ceramic statue of a bull with these huge antlers coming off. She drops her phone first to amplify the rickiness.

And how high up she is, which is incredibly high. It shatters the phone. But yeah, she just face first right through this thing. I really didn't have to do much. I feel like I kind of wasted here. I didn't even get there. Oh, shit, I was on my way. I had no, oh, she's dead?

She did what? Oh, I was stuck in spirit traffic. I mean, I guess that's the blood price paid. Still, I didn't do anything. I mean, I'll mark it down, but this is really disappointing. I'm going to be honest, I would stop it for some wantons too. It happens? I'm a bit of a slut for wantons as well.

I have been for 700 years as an evil Chinese demon, you see. Two piece in a pod, we are. Oh, you're dead. But the Ryan, you know, comes back or whatever and finds the Gina dead or whatever, and he, you know, figures out what the professor had said, which is that when the music ends, a blood price is paid. So this finally,

the audience has known what's going on for about 30 minutes and the rest of the movie catches us. This is the moment I am missing a police.

Like even a detective monger would be very helpful here. Oh, Munger from a once in a lifetime. To just be like, oh yeah, she just tripped and fell on her stupid bull thing.

Yeah, exactly. Nothing happened here. No crime. Your big shaggy, she's got a big shaggy carpet that she trips out. I would make sure not to fucking put a whole wall of swords right in front of you

when you live next time. But again, when you live next time. You know, when you get to hit continue on the video game menu and you try again. You know, I think that's what it is the afterlife, right? You know? Yeah, just get to try again. Start select. Reincarnation. Hit the buttons,

mash those buttons. So her dad is no longer embarrassing, i.e., he shaved and is now in a jazz quartet, which is fantastic. 16-year-old wants to have sex. Oh, that's right. I forget. out when he's performing for all the girls there's a whole band there. I forgot about that. Oh yeah. Yes, it's great. They're in the living room just doing it and it's like okay. Great acoustics in this huge house by the way. The dumpster daddy

trio. Carl should be there. Carl should be like on drums and doing a stomp thing with some garbage cans. No, you know what? I guess I guess Carl's a real head. Like you know what I mean? Oh, you're going back to the music, huh? Okay. Yeah, exactly. I see how it is. was born in the dumpster. Oh, yeah, this fucking

tourist, he picks up a couple of fucking iron rods thinks he's a dumpster diver, no way. I'll show him. Yeah, I'll be out here liberating stuff from the garbage men. I live in a landfill, motherfucker. But yeah, so this is, I wish I was popular out of nowhere. It's just, I don't know where. Because I guess, like, the other girls

are still mean to her, even though she's like dating Paul. Yes, yeah, she's still not accepted. She sits down, sits down at the lunch table. Just Paul's like sit with the popular kids. And the popular kids revolt and leave. And you know what? If you're, I'm sorry.

If your friends acting weird because they have a Chinese wish box, that's fine. Yes, you should be a little judgy there. If your friend is just going over to the popular table for one meal, do not think that she is turning her back on you and stabbing you in the back. She's trying to get some dick. That's where the dick is. It's at the popular table. One time. Just, you know, like, hey, that's funny.

huh. Do you like him? Oh, that's great. It's Wednesday. This should be, you two should be, if you're friends, you should be saying, get it, girl. That's what you should be saying. Precisely. Like, it's just, it's a, it's a dick that actually likes her. Let her have this. Yeah. Suck it, fuck it. That's what I say. So Paul's like, hey, party at Lucy's. You know, I'm picking you up right now. I'm outside. So yes, they leave this. The fact that the popular kids leave and like, again, the death toll is counting up. But she's like, yeah, I wish I was popular. And it's like, Jesus fucking Christ, girl.

And then immediately she gets a text to party at Lucy's or whatever. And then, right, yep. This is the funniest thing because I've never seen anything like this happen at a high school party. When like a well-regarded person walks into a round of applause, dude, they are going. What, like the fucking queen came through. That's the Chinese secret wish, man. That's what happens. It is just so hilarious that the whole.

house has to stop dead to give them a round of applause for entering. And everybody loves her now even the mean kids really like her which okay great. Sure cool shitty people like you now awesome you did it you made it oh maybe they won't run you over now. Oh maybe

maybe. So he like takes her off to the side and he's like come on what do you think and she's like you know what I will go to the senior scavenger hunt with you and then like he stops and she's like you know were you going to say something and he's like I was just trying to think of something dope to say before I kissed you

oh yeah yeah dude and letters to Cleo starts playing no it's way worse music but they just start making out right there's great at the big old party is the idea and then yeah there's this oh she's having a dream right here a couple of nightmare sequences in this movie she has a dream

where it's her as a little girl going back up to the attic to find the mother but uh oh she is it's Joey King hanging from the ceiling and then I think at this point Ryan does finally, I guess he takes a couple days to grieve his cousin, finally confronts her in the hallway and he's like, yo, that wishbox, there's

a blood price and she's like, blood price and he's like, yeah, blood price. Because he's got like a wall of research out of nowhere, he's got a real, like, I've been working on this case for a while. And it's basically just like the photos of people that have been killed, like including the cousin, there's no like red string

attaching information. It's too bad. The picture of the cousin, it just under it has a piece of paper with writing slut for want. And an hour and four minutes into this 90-minute movie, here comes a Jerry O'Connell cameo. What? I don't know what's going on with this.

It's like, a silent, because it's like we're telling the story of somebody else that had it. You know what I mean? And like his sad story. Well, that could have been a prequel movie, show his thing. I'd watch that. I would watch it over this. Hell yeah. Like the opening of Bye Bye-bye Man.

Yes. Better movie, by the way. I guess it is. It is. Oh, the Bye-bye Man? Yeah, it's a better movie. And you know why I love this movie, and I love the bye-bye man? Because what this movie ended, it was like, do you want to watch the bye-bye man?

I had to defuse the bomb to stop it from playing the bye-bye man. And I was like, yes, I kind of do. But so, yeah, just this weird Jerry O'Connell short story. I don't know. So he was just like a dude. Was he in the military? Yeah. He was in the Navy or something.

And like he got his hands on the, or no, he was a scientist or something. There was some Navy man that got it overseas. He was the first one who got it from Lumet. Right. And then they got it. from him. I think he's in his house maybe. Yes. And it was just left at the house and that's where Jerry O'Connell

got it. And he's like shaking and he's like yikes. And you don't even really know what happens to him? He burns in a house fire. The house catches on fire. And it's fucking weird because the photo that they have is an actual O'Connell Romaine family photo. Really? Rema does show up in this movie technically.

This is in the picture. This is just a house fire that they filmed he was in. This is real life. I mean, yes, you could use it. it. I saw a cool Jerry O'Connell thing. I follow him on Instagram and I guess one of the kids had a Sweet 16 party or an after

prom party or whatever it was. Jerry O'Connell, they're being responsible parents and he's like, oh, I was going on, he's wearing a fucking black tank top that says security on it and he was breathalizing all the kids. I was like, well done, dude. Well, geez, you shouldn't have gave him that much beer to begin with. Just say,

Tripp McNeely would not do this shit. But I commented on Instagram. when I was like, Tripp McNeely, given breathlizers, man, how time beautifully marches on. Disgusting. Terrible. Somewhere around here, though, is where Claire briefly goes over to Mrs. DeLuca's house.

Smells her rotting body. What did you know it from outside? I was like, they didn't find her yet? We also don't see her call the police, which she should. No, she just leaves, I guess. Now that my fingerprints are here, I'll leave. but she goes back to school

we have the scenes of like the friends are like hey you're being a piece of shit out of nowhere you know all that stuff you're letting people die for your own material game this seems like a bad thing

she does she like tells everything that she suspects is going on right here and they're like yeah and you didn't throw that shit away that's really fucked up and you're still wishing for popular I'd be like for popularity after you got the house Why don't fucking chuck it?

Yeah. And Barb has a line here where she's like, so you know that's going on or whatever and you didn't throw it away. Like, wouldn't that make you a bad person? Yes. And it's like, this conversation is over. Well,

this is the problem we're trying to find a solution to. How am I not a monster? Let's us all talk here about how I can keep wishing and not be a monster. Well, the weird thing is there also, there's this rule about it is if she sells it or gets rid of it, all the wishes revert to normal. They're all undone. which how does what would what would that mean but I think

the depth like how you lose the house yeah yeah yeah yeah Ryan Philippi swears off the saxophone they move back into the house the dogs a lot you know all that stuff right would undo but that that doesn't happen she does try to get rid

of it right here and then hilariously like she's walking out to like throw it away or bury it or whatever she's doing and she hears Ryan Philippi playing the saxophone and she's like nah never mind i'm not gonna throw it i would hate for him to stop playing saxophone exactly oh my god he's doing the yeah it is it's the intro to rump shaker he hasn't done that on the saxophone since dad was his mom was alive you know what the death count stands so now it's scavenger night scavenger night here we go i love

the friends are almost immediately killed by the burning pyre that falls down very final destination right here. Because I don't think she's paid a price for the popularity. No. No. That's on Layaway. This is the And this is the weird like, um, it's super final destination to the max

and it's also like the Chinese demon being like, hmm, which one do I kill? Ryan Philippine changing a flat tire on a dark road or this other girl in the elevator. These Tokyo drifters going by him. Oh, right. They're going up and down the road. Oh man.

Yeah. So like, it's like, it's like super outbacks, too. It's not like some nice fast-to-fast-to-ferior-car. Yeah, they're not cool drift cars. They're just like whatever suburb cars. He's a change of the tire. They rush past him, almost gets him. And then he's like, fiddling to get a wrench underneath the car and you're like, oh, man,

is the car going to fall? Much like Sherilyn Finn's hips almost hitting the power switch, the garbage disposal, his ass is almost hitting this carjack. I'm like, move over. Carjack is like barely propped up. It's great. Be aware of your surroundings when you're

Is it wobbling? Yeah, that's fine. I can still work on the car. It's all wobbling. Yeah, I can get under there. And they're still, uh, they're doing a scavenger hug in some fancy building. Hotel, it's a hotel. Hotel. They get the picture and then, uh-oh, Meredith or whatever is like, oh, my, remember when I was into that AR game at the beginning of the movie? Yeah, it's back now. That's coming back. And Mad Cat Molly is upstairs. And if I get that demon, I'm a demon monster or whatever the fuck. Yeah. So she goes up this elevator, takes the picture. in the elevator down it doesn't work out. No, this is good, the elevator falls.

She gets a smushed, I guess, sort of. She gets impaled by some glass too. Yeah, you get all fucked up when the elevator falls, huh? I'd like to see a little more of it if this was an R-rated movie. For sure.

You know, what are you going to do? Also, the cool thing, too, Philippi almost gets it three times on the road. It's the drift racing. It's being under the car trying to get the bolt while the jack's going.

And then this other car, the spare tire goes rolling this other car hits it it bounces just misses his head and like goes off a tree like ricochetes off a tree dude after two I'm like I gotta get out of the road I'm calling a fucking cab

how about step one Ryan Philpby which you do not have going on in this scene the hazard lights have to be on yeah sure come on dude just stay in the car for a little bit maybe I love what actually gets them I love that scene it's fantastic you hire some guys

to trim a branch with a chainsaw and then you have to stand right there and watch him do it. Also, how cool is it that he's almost run down on a dark road much like I know what you did last summer? Oh, right. That'll be nice. So he so like she, her friend is dead and she's very upset about this,

but not too upset. She was going to be the monster master. June is pissed off right here. This is all you. Now the wish box is missing and because it's missing it's something, something. Dad didn't pay taxes. We lost the house. No, Uncle August. Oh, I see. Yeah, Uncle August, it turns out, didn't, uh, didn't pay the

taxes and now we're losing the house or whatever. And they get kicked out. Good thing you hung onto this shack. Well, you couldn't sell this thing for a while. You got a fucking power wash this fucker down. No, dude, you're like the Simpsons man. You're hammering up a fucking abandoned sign over the front door. I mean, I'll take it off your hands for 500 bucks if you want to. Uh, and so Ryan, this is the scene where we're going to. Ryan tells the story about Jerry O'Connell because the other detail here is he's, the demon by the way is called

the Yagwai. And it's when you have completed making your seven wishes the Yagway claims your soul. Don't feed him after midnight. No, no, no, no, no. Don't leave that music box out in the rain whatever you do. Other music box are popping out of it. That's right.

But so she's at school and now she's not popular anymore again, but now she doesn't have any friends because one is dead and the other is mad at her. pretty tough and she also finds out that Paul has been the whole Paul stalking angle kind of comes to nothing comes to nothing but he admits like oh you're you're looking at all these pictures I took of you

you're even beautiful when you're asleep and this is when you realize like that wish has now been turning sour as well I would just but again like you need a scene where he like tries to kill her or something yes he has to kill him I love you so much you have to die or like yeah they're making out it gets a little rough like yeah just something that that's that's the progression of that I like the death make-out idea

I didn't even consider that You'll never survive the death make-out I thought was going to happen in the car When they're at the party But that she's just It's just like, ew, get away from me Puck her up and die We said that the box

Had gone missing which is actually not yet Because there's this whole stuff of like Her and Ryan try to burn it And the fireplace doesn't burn This is where he smashes it with the sledgehammer It doesn't do anything And they put it in her die hard vent That she's got in the room here

or whatever. And then this is where that night she's sleeping, Paul comes into the fucking house. He's like, I can't believe you broke up with me. And he slits his wrists. Oh, okay. Yeah. That counts. That's at least that. There's at least that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Um, but yeah, so the next

morning is when the box is gone or whatever. And then this is, yeah, Uncle August didn't pay taxes. All the shit starts coming undone. And she's like, why could this possibly have been happening? It turns out Barb stole the box at some point. Yeah. It's okay. And she's bringing it to school because she's got two young sisters and that's not going to fly. I mean, you can bury it in your backyard or whatever.

I mean, it's really going to wish for a pony and then your grandmother's going to drop that. You can't be fucking dealing with that shit. Grandma's getting up there anyway. You might as well have the pony, okay? I had a pony. Enjoy pony. Thank my life for a pony. It's fine.

And then we have a classic fight at the top of the stairs over the wish box. It's where you want to be fighting every time you're doing. the top of a fucking huge staircase. And I'm sorry, Joey King is not getting any fucking leverage on Bar. Barb is chokeslamming this girl. No way, dude. Chokeslamming her straight to hell, definitely.

Gilbert Godfrey versus the Undertaker. But yeah, she sends Barb right down these fucking stairs. Good fall. I like this fall. Pretty solid fall. I would like to see more falls. And you think she's dead, but no, she's just actually seriously injured.

Boom. This is not even, this is even wish related. This is just being an asshole. And then, well, This is where she, like, Claire is now, like, total, like, junk emoji. Yeah, I swear I won't make any more wishes, man. I just need it in my house. Yeah.

Just don't look at me while I'm doing it. Hey, just don't look at me. Stop looking at me while I'm wishing. She's like, well, I got seven. I can do one more. Let me do the big one now. I'm going to be more popular than a president. Yeah.

I would be school president. It would be even more useless. but no we also have been talking about multiverses with Ryan like he's like oh you dig on multiverses the funniest shit in the world you dig on plot devices too sick and so she's like I wish that my mother never committed suicide

and it sort of just turns into this the mother is home at a no and this is like when this stuff happens in movies it's so funny because it's like she still has the memories of the horrible suicide sure but now she's just back, much like the end of that fucking Jack Black Christmas movie

where the kid wishes, he writes a letter to Santa that's basically like, I wish my dead brother didn't die and Spoilers for the Jack Black Christmas movie, I don't know. I believe I already spoiled this on an episode of Onscreen Live at one point, but yeah, it's like the kid is just magically alive at the end

of that movie. Yeah. Well, it's also you had ghost babies here. You do, oh, ew, yeah. All of a sudden it's like, I didn't wish for these. No, but you know what? Those would be good experiments for future wishes we could take those away. She's only got one left after this, Eric. You don't got much to deal with.

It's like back to the future, you know, back to the future, you know, fucking Biff is cleaned in your car now, you know what I mean? Everything's all as well. But in that situation, the McFly parents weren't shooting out a couple more kids. It's true. Also, it would be, but I mean, the way

this movie is directed and like the way that the characters that aren't the main characters act, it does kind of key into this because you can't have the world outside these people come in because you would be like oh hey your father's dating again your mother

but didn't wait I swear to God we're in a multiverse Chris everything is different I guarantee you if she looked at the fucking newspaper Obama it's John McCain is president

and Kang the Conqueror's showing up and he's still Kang and he's still Kang Whoa. Maybe honestly McCain made it. Maybe the world is a better place now. Like I don't know about that. A little short term pain, long term, whatever. I don't know. You never know. I don't know. It's tough. It's tough to figure it out.

There's no going back anyways. It's hard to, you know. So, long story. She's so happy that her mother is alive. She starts looking in the, her mom is a big painter apparently. Yes, here's a bunch of like canvases I never mounted. You know, just look at all this stuff. And she's going through and she sees one of the box and then realizes that fateful day all those years ago

the mother threw something out that was wrapped in a paint canvas or a drop cloth for painting or whatever and meanwhile she's hearing somebody doing some yard work out she opens the window and I think it's Carl actually it's Carl's it's Carl oh my god it's Carl and Philippi up to their old tricks

again pro tip Carl when using a chainsaw two hands yeah two hands with that chainsaw buddy and also pro tip when watching your friend, use a chainsaw? How about a six feet? Let's do some social distance. I guess he's trying to be holding the ladder, but this is such a short ladder. I don't get this at all. If Carl fell, it's like a three-foot fall.

Why are you bracing this ladder, Philippi? Somebody like turns around, she yells or something. Because she sees what's going on from upstairs. She knows it's not going to be good. And she runs out to try to stop it. And she causes it in a way. Yeah, she did. She's, because she yells like, dad, dad, get away from there.

And he's turned like, what, honey? And then Carl just drops this. chainsaw on the back of his neck it's great you don't see anything unfortunately she gets a fucking money shot of blood right she does which is good you know what I want in that moment then I want the noise of the dude you know what I mean of the head

rolling down the hole yeah I'm not even sure if they cut off the head it feels like they just cut like the back oh yeah like it was slicing down the back that's even worse I'm swinging I know and I just I have to believe that his head got cut off I have to look there's nothing to this movie

I do it is a nice thought I don't don't get me wrong. So she runs back upstairs and she's like, all right, like, you know. She's like yelling at the wish box now. Yeah. She's yelling at this box. I know how to beat you. I know how to beat you. I wish my dad's head got cut off instead of just graced. I want to go back right now. I want to go back to everything before I made the way. Is this the last wish? Yeah. They said it takes her soul after that. What are you doing? Well, she thinks if she goes back before it happens, then, oh, I get seven more wishes. Fuck you, kid. I mean, she learns that lesson.

Everybody who gets a Chinese box like this immediately thinks, I'm the one who's going to beat the Chinese box. My soul isn't going to be taken by this Chinese box. Jerry O'Connell's character thought of it. You know, the mother thought of it. Exactly. They all think they're going to beat it. But the Chinese box wins every time.

So she wakes up. The dog is there at the foot of the bed. You know, we're still living in the shitty house, but everything started back to, you know, the way that it's supposed to be. And it's so sad because she's like, Hey, dad, can I go garbage picking with you today? He's like, well, sure, princess, you're my good luck charm. Oh, you haven't asked to go dumpster diving in years.

That's so funny. Mr. Luka, did you hear her she's going dumpster diving with me? I haven't been this happy in years. Yes, and Ms. DeLuca is back alive, for sure. She goes, they go dumpster diving or whatever, and she sees like, oh, there's the rods that he found. Yes. So this is definitely the spot. She searches around.

She finds the box. She slides. Riley puts it in her bag and she's like, Dad, cool rods, right? Cool rods. I told you were my good luck charm. Oh my God, iron rods. We can do so much with this.

And I love that when she's saying goodbye now, she's just like, well, have fun today. Have fun today. Like, because this is not a job. No, certainly not a thing. Don't cut yourself on rusty mattress springs or whatever you encounter. And remember what we said, no drinking until 1 p.m.

Yeah, that's right. You're going to hear some crazy news later today. And I want you to still not drink after you hear that. Maybe someone's passed away. I don't know who. I'm confused by her end the game here. So she goes to school. She's got the wish box.

You know, Barb is there. So is Meredith. They're like, hey, hey, hey. Everybody's alive. She's so happy. She's hugging them. And she's like, I'm going to go up to Ryan and say, hey, Ryan, you bury this without looking at it for some reason. Why not you, why doesn't, why doesn't she just be?

Exactly. Because she's an, she's an, she's a box addict. I said, she cannot do it herself. I need you to pour the booze down the toilet. You've never been addicted to Chinese boxes. Oh, well, I've been addicted to box. I'll tell you that. Really?

I've lived with you for many years. That's not the, uh, I've had some box. Okay, that's changing it a little bit from an addict to a had some box. Well, there's been the difference between being addicted to it and this. successfully finding some fine box dining i found it and it got a dick did uh-huh uh so yeah she apologizes for all the mcfart stuff you know and then it's like the you know maybe sometime i can buy you dinner we can talk about multiverses you dig on multiverses again you dig on multiverses you're gonna love the future kid yeah well she winds up she gives him a nice kiss and he's like

say yeah his friend almost wants to ruin his don't say titpick you got one line in this movie and you already used it anyway no tit pick talk fuck up I'm kissing her and you know things are looking well oh no I'll see you around she says famous line before she's

meet Joe Black to the middle of this road she gets punted by an escalated oh there's a bounce oh my lord there's a bounce and she lands on another car's windshield oh boy and you know I mean she kind of gets her wish because Darcy's life is ruined Yeah, this girl's done. This girl's done.

Because she just comes out of the car. I didn't see her. You don't know what happened. Which is great. And then this poor other bastard, he's got this dead girl on his windshield. This guy's just out calling the cops. What about Ryan?

I just kissed a dead girl. That's just going to fuck me up a little bit. I kissed a dead girl and I liked it. And that's it. The movie, the camera goes right in her eyeball. I think it's just something to show that her soul is gone. Oh, pretty hard. No, speaking of artistic, this stupid fucking post-credit, post-movie credit sequence of all.

Mid-cred. It's just, no, like the all the credits themselves are fucking stupid. Exactly. It's all like stuff moving around. You're showing everything. Sit on fire. Oh, my God. The Chinese box takes revenge.

There's like all these like druid people running around doing things. This was made by a graphics company that didn't know what the movie was. Yes, exactly. You know what I mean? It was like they got a like a plot summary. and they're like, make a fucking graphics thread over all this. I wonder if they got the early version of the script before the cuts

and they're like, oh, there's druids in this thing. That's fucking, oh my God. Chinese druids. Oh, my Jesus. They're Chinese. But this mid-credit sequence is where the flub comes because here's Ryan. He's doing what she asked.

You know, and he's like, curiosity gets the better of him, and he opens the thing. And he looks at it and he reads it and he just goes seven wishes the teacher at the beginning of the movie said it was ancient Chinese and no one could read it. This kid

just reads it clear and I was like how did you mess that? They don't even say that Ryan is prolific at this at all because he had to go to his fucking cousin. Exactly. He didn't know but he was like we can go to the cousin. Maybe it's a multiverse. He is the cousin in this oldtiver. Oh nice. He's the slut.

In this world he's the slut. And he knows ancient Chinese and he's played by fucking Jim from the office ancient Chinese oh man but that is the end of this movie will go around the horn here for some final thoughts Eric Siska it's it's not good it's abysmal I really did not like watching this I mean there's a few funny moments but yeah no Chris Gavin yeah a few funny moments a few okay desk but yeah not not worth much of your time If you are a fan of taro or this, this is definitely of a kind of horror movie. Yes, the film.

There's a lot of these where it's like, well, you have an old-fashioned game and it's going to kill you. And I'm like, only like one or two of those have ever worked really well. And I think it takes more effort than this movie is willing to put into it. Yeah, no for me. Steven. God, I'm sitting around a bunch of fucking jerks. I love this movie. Wow.

Did you rate it on Letterbox? I didn't yet. I wish you didn't. Oh, is that right? No, it's, this movie is a tight 90. It's super fun. It's stupid. The kills are actually good for a PG-13 movie.

It, uh, I wish, you know, I wish it was an Rated movie. I wish the kills each got a little darker, a little more gory. That would have made it actually kind of close to somewhere good. That's two wishes, Steve. I'd rather, I'd rather watch this movie than something like some 824 hooja fudge, like fucking Heretic, honestly, where it's like a half horror movie. At least this knows what it is and is stupid

as fun. It's dumb as shit. Heretic thinks it's smart and is dumb as shit. I'd rather a movie that knows it's dumb as shit through and through and we get some fucking beheadings at least. So that's where I'm at. I agree with you there, Steve, but I cannot get past the editing for the PG-13 rating without the

home video option of the unrated at this point. Because you're just watching stuff being like, well, that's where that was, the take went longer there. the take went longer there repeatedly, you know, and like, and I'm sorry, like, it's an abysmal cast. And if you

think about, like, even some of the not great, uh, final destination movies, there's dead-eyed Canadians in there that are doing a way better job than people in this movie. It's just, it's not well directed. And it's a fucking movie directed by a cinematographer. This happens almost all the time.

Yeah. And it's just, it's not good. Uh, the tight 90, I'll give it that. I'll absolutely give it that. But also, Chris, to what you said, I don't care really for the movies where it's like, here's an ancient fun thing and it's going to kill you. You gotta have, you know, and you got do more if you're going to do that. I needed to be a thing.

Yeah, and like, to the heretic point, like, you're correct, that movie fucking sucks. Yeah. But at least you have a Hugh Grant performance. Oh, yeah. That is actually like tailored and gets, get some attention there. There's something to it rather than just like, all right, Ryan Felipe. I mean, that's the thing. I mean, that movie is

like going to a really fancy restaurant that gets good reviews and you're like oh I spent too much this wasn't very good and this is fucking McDonald's and it's exactly McDonald's I know exactly what I'm getting it's not very good you know you're gonna have diarrhea the next day it's not good for me but I'm getting what I want

fair enough fair enough and I will say it's the second worst final destination because that fourth final destination movie still sucks so hard that this fucking you know fake version of it is still better than that movie I will give it that at least But that is going to do it not only for this episode

and Wish Upon, but for the 2025 Listener Request Months. We thank all of the listeners and the patrons for calling in. Thank you, April. Thank you, April for this one, yes, sending us off with a horror movie, which is always nice to cover. An actual horror movie, unlike Link, which was just a monkey movie.

A horror or bull movie. What? A horror or bull movie. That's exactly right. Yeah, so, but again, all the letters, all the calls. It's awesome. Every year, the number is larger. for us to sift through. Yeah, it's just really cool.

So thanks for everybody who participated. We do have a few more Patreon things coming out. I believe there's a nexus at the end of this week that is still listener requested. But if you miss stuff, go back through on Patreon, patreon.com slash we ate movies where you can get all of these WHMs ad-free, but also stuff like the In the Line of Fire,

we love movies. Absolutely. Very well received. We did an AD on what? On Darya Depth Takes a Holiday, which is a fun little episode there. That's right. Joey King should have been meeting some real-life leprechauns and qubits and whatnot in this movie.

Better movie. We were talking about a real, real OG on Gleepe Glossary. Malakili, the rancourt keeper, the big fatso that cries about the rancourt and Return of the Jedi. We had a lot of fun talking about him. Thank you to those who requested that. Malakili. That's probably my favorite one of my favorite gloop glossaries in a while. Really?

Oh, wow. I'm glad it did it for you. Finally. Oh, yeah. Melrode 2&O was not listed requested, but it was Daddy War Crazy. Listener request nothing. Yes, it was a hell of the time. Daddy Wars is continuing.

Love the Daddy Wars. I hope it never ends, but I know it will. And I think we are days away from the game commentary. Are we not? That's right. Yes, our next Sinkable Commentary is coming out at the end of this week as well. And that is all about all of us talking over, I should say, David Fincher is the game. That was a lot of fun to revisit that.

The Michael Douglas impressions are there. It's a really, really fun commentary. So don't miss on that as well. Miss out on that, I should say. Patreon.com slash Wii A movies. Now, next week we are back to programming that we have curated, Steve, and we're talking about, I got to say, I'm pretty excited about the lineup for April, but what are we kicking things off with? We are celebrating a legend that passed.

Don't look into how, but a legend that passed pretty recently. I think there was a Chinese wishbox in this house. The great Gene Hackwood we're celebrating here for the first week. It's not a Hackman month, but. The first week and the WLM will be hackman-centric. And, of course, we're talking about Enemy of the State. Long time coming. Yes, absolutely.

WLM for me. Look at that. Hell yeah. I love this movie. So until next week with Enemy of the State. I've been Andrew Jupin. Stephen Seda. Eric Sisker.

Chris Gavin. Take it easy. Thank you.