We Hate Movies - S15 Ep793: Punisher: War Zone

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

“The music in this movie is Nü Metal Too Late” - Steve On this week’s episode, we’re going back to check out the wildly entertaining Punisher cinematic adventure, Punisher: War Zone! How incredible is Ray Stevenson as Frank Castle? What in the world was going on with all the accents in this movie? Is this the Punisher film with the best cinematography? And who else was severely unsettled watching a Seinfeld alum be executed on screen? PLUS: Look out for New York City’s Progressive Mafia! Punisher: War Zone stars Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Doug Hutchison, Colin Salmon, Dash Mihok, Julie Benz, Stephanie Janusauskas, Mark Camacho, T.J. Storm, and Wayne Knight as Micro; directed by Lexi Alexander. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

this week on the program we're talking about a movie starring the guy who played the third best punisher it's punisher war zone i'm andrew jupin uh it's weird to watch a beloved sidelum get shot in the head isn't it stephen say that eric ciska macro and we hate movies Hello, Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies, thank you for tuning in. Right. On this week's program, we're going back to Superhero Town. We're talking Punisher Wards on from 2008, directed by Lexi Alexander, noted director of Green Street Hooligans. If you saw that movie.

Ooh, I have. It's pretty bad. Yeah, not great. It's pretty bad. Yeah, it's not. I guess, isn't she a bit, she's a bit of a troublemaker, right? She stirs shit up a little bit. She does, yeah. She speaks a lot. I mean, she speaks a lot for women's, uh, writes in... Thumbs up to that.

Yeah, exactly. But Greenskin, hooligans is like Fight Club for Babies, if I remember it correctly. It's like Fight Club with soccer or something. Yeah, yeah,

but like also like take out all like the thematic like goodness richness of fight club. Take all that out of that too, get that out of there. And also you have to deal with I love undeclared

as much as the next person. Yeah. Dealing with Charlie Hunnam for two hours like this. You have to, he is a very specific flavor. You have to have a director with very particular talents

to make him be like James Gray, he did it. A Lost City of Z rocks. He's really good in it. But Chris, people love that guy. I mean, his sons of motorcycle show was on for 50 years. I'm sure they, and I disagree with them intensely.

I think Pacific Rim is pretty good, but I don't think he's the reason it's good. I'm curious about him in Deltaro. He must like be a great hang with GDT. because, like, him and Crimson Peak specifically is like, what? Like, and I don't even remember he's in that movie. He's like the love lord boyfriend, the good guy, like white hat dude.

And again, like, I love that movie. He is not the reason I love that movie. No, no, no, no. I got nothing against him, by the way. Chris Cabin's ready to docks this dude. He's not even in this movie we're talking about today. These are literal strays he is catching. Excuse me, I have his address here.

Would you just let me get it out before you start, Eric? You write a nice apology letter to the man. I will do no such thing. Eric also is a great point, Chris. He's not even in this fucking movie so we can just jettison this. This movie, second time through last night, is still really fun. It's the third best punisher. Now, let's go through your ranking there, Andrew.

John Bernthal on the Marvel shows, I think, is the best. Dolf after that For sure Because not that it's like true To the Punisher character as much But just it's a badass thing And then this which I think is great And then like a series

Of Punisher related Halloween costumes And then that Thomas Jane movie That is just the biggest We don't understand this character Adaptation of the Punisher Well you don't a problem with Ben Forster And John Panette doing a tango in the middle of a Punisher movie?

Is that something that you're less interested in or more interested? I'll tell you what, Steve. I don't even remember what the hell you're talking about. Same. I think I rewatch that movie a couple of years ago. So that's still rattling around a little more fresh than you guys. Our episode of The Punisher was a long time ago. Oh, yes.

I forgot we even did it. My Lord. There's so much about you have to like, and this is what I think this movie gets right, right? like you have to watch the castle family extermination in that fucking Jonathan Hensley I think directed that movie is that his name? That sounds right

and this is like it's already happened you just get like a couple of flashbacks here and there and like I think Dash Myhawk mentions it like once in a little bit of an exposition dump and that's it dude you're out of there on the Punisher Orgin story. That's a funny flashback

with the tombstone and then he's like thinking about holding the dead kid. With the picnic basket? Yeah, well, that's right. Yeah, fucking yogi bear got them. Dude, I mean, how many times does it happen to you? You're in the park trying to have a picnic with your family. You witness a mob execution.

I mean, it happens every day. Well, this is, that's why you know this is a reboot and not a sequel, because if you'll remember, which you won't, the entire family, castle family lineage, grandfathers, chartered accountants, friends and well-wishers

are exterminated. That first publisher film. 30 plus, at least. It's like, I think 30, 35 people are being exterminated in that. I think the other thing that is big about you cannot have Frank Castle be a completely sensible person. No. Like that's the problem with that Jane movie is like, he has to be a little crazy,

a little badass. Like that is what this gets right. It is absolutely what the Bernthal gets right. Yes. Is that they, it's a little, they're crazy. They're kind of bad. Like you have to have a little spice. You have to have a little bit of the spice.

And like that fucking first one, or not the not the Lundgren one, of course. But the Thomas Jane one, what they don't get is that like, yeah, he can't just be like a normal like, my family's dead. I'm going to kill them like Steven Seagall type character. Right. He has to be a little bit meaner. Well, yeah, Brentall plays a bug nuts crazy. Like that's what's fun about that character. A plus.

Yes, exactly. And this is who the police want to emulate, huh? Well, that's the thing is like there's two ways to look at this character. One is the right wing reactionary way, which is how he's often written as like a hero. He's doing the things we can't do like shoot people in the street. It's like right. Yeah, exactly. Because of woke.

Exactly. The other one is like, this is sort of almost a parody of what that idea is. And I think that's what this movie gets right. Again, I think the tone of this movie is good. I do the reappraisal of this movie where everything is quote unquote campy is like, I don't buy that. I don't think camp is the right word, but I do think that, and I'll admit this, like, when I first saw it, I wasn't as high on it as I am now. I don't think it's an excellent movie. Again, third best punisher, but there is a comic booky feel to it that I didn't acknowledge right away.

And I think, honestly, that brings this movie closer to Aungle's Hulk than not, as crazy as that sounds. But it feels like you're watching a comic book. I mean, the thing that bugs me about what this is doing in this movie is like Castle is guilt-ridden over accidentally killing an undercover FBI agent, and I'm sorry,

the punisher despises law enforcement. And he wouldn't give that much of a shit, you know what I mean? And it's fine. It doesn't ruin the movie. It gives him a little mission here. You need something to anchor it. Like, if his family's dead, it's like, who does he care about?

Like in reality in the books, right? It's nothing, right? Yes. Here you have to give him something to make a movie out of it. Speaking of comic bookiness, I got big Dick Tracy vibes off of this movie.

Which is a compliment. Yeah. The lighting, the color, most of this takes place at night or in dark scenes, and it looks fucking fantastic. Honestly, if you put this movie to mute and put on some cool music,

you're having a great time. But anytime someone speaks, a little bit of a problem happens. Just a little bit. It's a little bit. It's the script. I mean like let's shit around

like it's the problem with this movie is the script fucking sucks I don't think any of it is particularly good I think what any time when we're not doing Punisher stuff

and I think we all know what that means I'm I'm checked out of this movie completely and this movie has quite quite a lot of that more than I thought it would have I'll say I have some fun

with the mafia that fucking mental asylum scene I think is hilarious and awesome. And the Punisher ain't nowhere near it. Sorry, Eric, I cut you off. No, just speaking about the script real quick. The writing team is involved here. One of them is, well, there's three people credited.

Two of them is a writing team. They wrote Iron Man, uncharted, Craven the Hunter. Oh, wow. And then the other guy created Reacher, which is a, I really enjoy Reacher right now on Prime. That feels right. that feels like the right cauldron you would want. But like I just like to what Andrew was saying, like that kind of stuff, I was just kind like, okay, it's whatever.

Like I was just like, okay, I don't find that thing's particularly stunning or anything. Yeah, I think the action is good. I think the action's great, honestly. Which is what, again, what you want. That's the meat of the sandwich. And I think that's what you're coming here for. I mean, it's great. But then it's like, how many, you know, once the 10,000th bullet fires, I'm kind of,

I'm Punisher war zoned out at that point. Yeah. It does sort of feel a little long in the tooth, even though it's not that long of a movie. This was, I'm looking here because I'm kind of curious. This was the first of just thinking of the opening of the movie, the first like Marvel Knights property to be put up on the screen. Rufflecopter in my house when I saw that thing. Oh, I laughed so hard I turned into a helicopter. What is Marvel Knights? It was there, it was the shingle to release. like more adult stuff or whatever. So like

Punisher was one of those. There's a bunch. No, it's two movies. Two movies. It's two movies, but then it's also like a lot of these Well, the comics. But I'm looking at like IMDB. Uh-huh. Okay. And there's tons. I don't know if it's

like a fucking cartoon or what, there's a bunch of shit with like Black Panther, these like 13 minute episode shorts. There's an Iron Man thing. Like they moved a lot of this to like cartoon shit, but it's not just the one, Steve, I'm sorry. Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance. That's two. Oh, it's two. Oh, I thought you said one. Sorry.

Yeah, it's just kind of funny that they didn't get that other fucking ghost writer. Like the I think they were like, the first one failed being a legitimate thing. So put that second one under this garbage shingle. Well, because I also think that they tried to do the same thing. I think with that spirit of vengeance

as well, which was like the first one was too cartoony and like, for you know, all audiences, let's go dark with It's trashy. It's absolutely disgusting. Yeah, yeah. But like, I think, uh, the Marvel Knights thing was, was actually what kind of, I think Kevin Smith, uh, kind of started it with his version of Daredevil and that's where, uh, it was

like a, you know, more adult themed thing and right. He wrote, he wrote Daredevil comics, you mean, right? He did, yes. He was not involved in the Ben Affleck. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. He actually, he, he wrote some decent Daredevil stuff. I've read Kevin Smith's Daredevil stuff.

It's pretty cool. And this is where, I think, out of the Marvel Knights line is the Garthennis stuff, which I show that's Marvel Max, which was like more extreme. And the Garthetis stuff basically, which, again, I'm not the world's biggest punisher guy, but what I know is basically half of it was used in this movie and then half of it was used in the other movie. That's how much they like that stuff. Okay, but what was under, what was put out under Marvel vanilla cherry?

Oh, yes. That's good question. Or diet Marvel. Marvel Code Red is actually Only Red Skull Comics, just only Red Skull. Oh, I would love to read those. That sounds good. That sounds good.

See, Chris went with soda, but I was like, Marvel Max, huh? So it's like a what if where all the heroes are fat guys like that? And you can watch 90-day fiancé and your HBO shows on there. But yeah, so we opened with Castle watching news footage of this big mafia so-and-so skating, you know, justice once again. And that you know, that's all it takes to set off

the Punisher. This opening, this is very, we're literally doing like the comic book panel thing in this opening. One of the producers, by the way, legendary Gayle Ann Hurd of all people. I did not know that she's involved in this. So that's pretty sweet. I always appreciate a man that makes his own bullets. Like,

especially when you're not hunting a werewolf, like obviously with a werewolf, you got to go custom. It's custom. Got to do the custom build. Got to do the custom build. But you know what? dude, if you're doing it yourself, you're actually doing something. Steve, I have actually spoken to someone who does make their own bullets. Is it for werewolves? No, it is not.

I mean, maybe that also might be part of the list. I don't know what else is. But he did not speak about werewolves, but he did. I'll say this, that motherfucker did not shut the fuck up. Sure, yeah. You had to listen about it for a long fucking time if you ever brought it up. and, you know, my brother-in-law introduced me to this guy. Oh, no.

Oh, I thought you were just masking that you were talking to your brother-in-law about this. No, no, no, no, no. This is one of his friends. And he's hunting wear people because at midnight they turned into people or something? Yeah, yeah, that is what he said. Yeah, Chris's brother-in-law was actually the inspiration for that Frank Grillo film, Werewolves. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you didn't know that.

We should say Ray Stevenson, the great R-I-P, R-P to Ray Stevenson. got this off of being on Rome and he's awesome in Rome as Titus Pullo, really good fight scenes in there and like Oh nice. Still never watch that Rome. It's good. It's very good. I remember it being good.

Yeah. But yeah, Stevenson, I think, is great in this. It's just like, like so many of the actors in this movie, the fucking dialect coach, man. The accent guy was just not on the ball. And Stevenson like, just

pretty much sounds like Ray Stevenson in this movie. I'm sorry. He doesn't sound like New York's Frank Castle. Well, he's doing... I actually appreciate him just going very very regular and bland as opposed to everything Dominic West is doing. Dominic West

and Doug Hutchinson when they are talking to each other it is like two people doing the Adam Sandal. To each other back and forth. Like it's just Abajababu

Oh, a Wadobah, Bapapa, New York. Per capita, these are the worst New York accents I've ever heard. Like, minute by minute, even Julie Bens gets in on the action occasionally. She'll try. Dude, she will try, and it's like a mouse or like, it's like a mere cat sticking its head out of the little Heidi hole. Like, she sticks her head out, she tries to do the accent, it fails miserably, and then she goes back to sounding like Julie Bens immediately. Exactly. She's like, talk to you. No, no. Exactly.

Yeah, she's no Marissa Tomei when it comes to New York accents. All these mafiosos here. And, you know, you see this a lot of the, at the time, get me some Sopranos actors. Get me fucking Steve Chirippo. How much could Steve Chirippa cost? Dude, do you get Steve Chiripa just some fucking good seats to a Yankee game? He'll be in your Punisher movie. Exactly.

No doubt about it. But yes, this. is, again, unlike that Tom Jane movie which I think, does most of it take place in Florida? It's all in Miami or Florida. Yeah, okay. Like, this is in New York City. I mean,

fakingly so, but at least we get some B-roll of like the Empire State Building. Like, we're trying to make it. We are trying to make it. It's just funny, though, because you have like this opening shot, it's like Empire State Building so everybody gets its New York set. And then it cuts to this Mafia Mansion. I guess out

in like Sheepshead Bay or something, but it's like, it's clearly just not New York City from this point out well it's dark like what I what I like about as compared to that the Florida one is because like yeah it's a bright it's a beach day every day in the in the Thomas Jane

this it's like at least it is dark it's fake dark and a lot of things it's a little overdone I think but whatever you know it's more the tone I'm looking for it there may be no day scenes in this movie quite possibly I'm kind of racked my right I think the flashback where he's called in the the debt kid yeah oh and

And the funeral. Oh, the funeral. Right, yeah. Because that was the last sunny day for him, Eric. Oh, that's very interesting. By the way, we have a title sequence here, which is always nice to check in on these title sequences. This one was giving me Saw vibes, which was weird because we also have a character named Jigsaw. Good call on Saw.

I feel like this is a post-saw Punisher movie. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. This is a Punisher movie that Saw Saw. You know what I mean? Well, there are. at least let me just do a quick sort of count in my head here there's at least three heads that totally explode from shotgun blast in this movie you know and so that kind of if you replace a shotgun blast with like a big metallic thing squash in your fucking melon it's a sawtrap it's the same kind of like gore effect sort of deal so i totally get that and honestly like i appreciate that influence on this like my punisher should be fucking hardcore man and this is about its Hardcores and guts.

And you know what? Take some notes. Jigsaw from the, from the Saw series, not from this series. The Punisher is more moral than you are. You know what I mean? The Punisher's not like,

it's true. Oh, you saw you. You cut that guy off in traffic, did you? I'm going to fucking rip your cock off and put it in your fate. No, it's just, you're a mafioso, dude. I'm going to shoot you in the head

and then be done with it. And just shooting, it's so nice just to be shot. Thank you. Don't tie me up and have like Wiley Coyote. Acme co shit strapped to my asshole

Or cut a head off Just normal No us, no must Just a simple slice Through the neckbone We're done Here we go Oh I think you were

A little late to Thanksgiving dinner It didn't even bring a proper excuse Now you're gonna eat all the turkey In the world And you're gonna have barbed wire Around your fucking throat and stuff Oh no Oh hello Jeff

You called your mother The day after her birthday That doesn't count at all. Now you have to eat all these birthday candles. How many can you fit in your mouth at once, Jeff? And if you don't flick it, flick this button in time by cutting your arm off, they'll be lit birthday candles. You know, yeah, just shooting up the mafia.

What's the matter? What's so bad by that? It's for a penny, in for a pound. It's totally fine. This movie is in for two pounds, dude. I mean, it was no fucking time. It starts. We get to this mafia thing.

It's a big dinner. Everyone's celebrating because this old bastard skated jail time again. And we got, Dash My Hawk is outside sort of like watching over what's going on. He's playing this cop soap,

which I do believe is a comic character if I'm not mistaken. Dash My Hawk, great Star Wars character name. Like walking around the world Star Wars character name. Yep. Big time.

He's gone his whole life live in Star Wars. It's awesome. Just like buddies with Wedge and Tilly's, dash my walk I would watch that my god absolutely man but yes we are introduced to

Dominic West as Billy soon to be jigsaw here and Billy the Butte they say yeah Billy the beaut and you know for the accenting and the makeup later on I like West in this moment like he comes into the house and they're like you know sort of late

coming into this dinner and he's got to stop he looks at himself in the middle like they have all the vein stuff down like that which is really cool right he's like he's adjusting his hair outside his girl tries to help him and he physically assaults her for that and saying do i fix your makeup for you yeah oof that's tough i thought that was julie bens for a second i was misremembering who she was in the movie at first oh you thought it was a wife maybe or a girl yeah for like two seconds i thought the woman getting shoved was julie bens i was sad to see that bunk was not here to help him out a little bit i i'm a little a little

But yeah, I do like him. I think he has some presence, at least, to this. I mean, we'll talk about what happens when it happens. But so sure. It's amazing, though, because what we're doing here is sort of like a 2008 version of like what Don Corleone was pissed off about. Like, Don Corleone wanted to stick to olive oil. And he got pissed off when people started bringing drugs into the operation. In this world, this mafia guy is like, no, no, guns and drugs are.

fine but chemical biological weapons that is a step too far for this mafia you you are doing a much better italian accent oh my way bravisimo to you oh sure dude my favorite line he gets is like you and your faca brother luni be in the jima they love saying it man dude a good fucking use of faca whenever you can oh absolutely I also like the moment when they suggest that somebody in the organization, and I don't know who, because we don't meet them, but somebody in the organization is referring to Luny bin Jim as LBJ. Yes. I want to meet. I need to know who this is.

I need to meet this mastermind. I think it's not just for the abbreviations in his nickname, though, Chris. It's also because much like Lyndon Johnson, dude had a huge spons. Oh, yeah. And long dangly balls. Among the many crazy superpowers We give Luny bin Jim in this movie He turns it to a superhero at some point He's kind of that crawler

A little bit Or toad At the various Toad more with the cannibalism I feel is his superpower is cannibalism But this whole biological package thing This is also it's Saw Saw and also 9-11

9-11 This movie saw saw in theaters and saw those towers go down, absolutely. Which, again, I think there's definitely some, that's some of the better parts of the movie is that, like, it's reacting to the war on terror in a sort of, in a way that I would react to the war on terror a little bit. You know what I mean?

It's a little skeptical of it. Which is fair, you know, especially for 08, you know, not everybody was hip to that train. No, no, no. But also, it's just funny because, like, basically they're plotting like another 9-11 in this movie. They are intending

to sell this biological weapon to dudes and queens who are then going to like do a terrorist attack. It's like the Russians are bringing in the biological weapon and this mafia is making a deal for $10 million because they run the ports to then bring it into the

country and then apparently we'll change hands to gentlemen and queens. Another word. that I'm not, we're not going to be saying. Yeah, the, the, the, our head slur there. But again, even in that slur, it's very self-aware that I think it's using that. Precisely.

Yeah, no, like the Punisher's not saying that. Exactly. The bad guys of the movie are saying. Martin's soap is not walking in saying that. No, that's Billy the Butte. That's Billy the Butte language and we do not condone it. Dude, Billy the Butte language that I do appreciate though. I honestly think this might be one of the lines of the movie is they're like,

come on, Billy, like, we got to get in with dinner or whatever. and it's after they've had the conversation where the guy's like, no, no biological weapons. And he goes, we're not eating with that old shit bag. Yes. Oh, but my Italian chef chef boy Di is back there opening

cans for us. Well, I do love that he's like, oh yeah, so you do it I've got the calisomy bag. Oh yeah, I shit in the bag. It was like, I saves you a trip to the batch room. I really, this guy, this old guy, this old guy,

is exactly the guy at the end of the Homer Becomes Krusty episode of like... Dude, yes! Suddenly, where he's like, you're very nice to this old Italian stereotype

but I was like, no, oh yeah, I know, I know. I know, it's all right. Just one, it's for me. Oh, I love it. So, yeah, this is what I was talking about though, with like this movie gets right to it.

It's like, these people sit down for this big mafia dinner and nobody has a fucking fork in their hand by the time the lights go out. and Castle just starts wasting these people the thing. Please, you do it.

Well, he cuts off the old guy, oh no, my head, they completely cut off of my body. I mean, it is the Mendoza scene from fucking McBain. Like, it's, oh, yeah. It's just that, it's almost that exactly. This is actually the close to a

McBain movie we've ever got on it. Yes, I'm, including the movie McBain. Not even close. But yeah, I Like, I wouldn't be surprised if Lexa Alexander actually had, like, those scenes from the Simpson storyboards up on her image board while she was doing this. But it's a wonderful shootout. He, he fucking knocks everybody out. It's incredible.

He's throwing knives. He's shooting people. And then, Andrew, he does your favorite scene in cinema, the favorite moment in cinema here. Yes, this fucking old mafia queen, like this old guy's wife, it's like decapitate him. And you fucking watched it. You watched your mafia. husband get decapitated, and then this sweaty dude on a table just broke your head

clean around. To be fair, she's reaching for a weapon. That's right. Oh, sure. Yep. And amazingly, amazingly, only the second best old lady death in this movie. Yeah. Somehow. You're totally right. And I fucking wish we saw the whole thing. Oh, man. I wish.

Yeah. I did, how many times did you guys rewind this neck break? Because I was, I did three. I did three. I don't know. I I got to be honest, I rewound chair leg to the face a couple of the time. Chair leg to the eye socket, you mean? Because for two seconds, this dude's a centibite. He's chair face centibite. Like they have Frank Castle turned this dude.

Not only murdered him, he turned him into a centabyte. Oh, look at this. We have another victim from castle to forge into one of our own. you shall be chairleg guy. Yeah, I guess so. That could even be a saw torture. Like, oh, yeah, you sat down a lot on the job. Now, it's going to sit down on you.

Oh, yeah, this chair's going to sit on you. I miss something because I thought, for a while, like, Frank is, like, touching his nose and sniffing a bunch. I'm like, are they implying he's on cocaine? Like, is that? That'd be great. But, like, he must have gotten hit because then later in another scene, he like readjusts his nose

because it's broken. Oh, right, with the pencil. He puts that off. I thought he was putting a total, trying to pull out a total recall, like bug or thing, robot or whatever. It's fucking wild that this dude resets his own nose with a broken pencil. Yeah.

Absolute badass move right there. I think that would be kind of cool if the Punisher was on cocaine. Like, hey, look, you know, like, everybody needs every edge you can get. You know what I mean? Let's get fucking get. Well, I'll tell you what. We're doing all sorts of crazy scenarios, this, that, and the other thing. I think they might have ended it.

But if they do more of that, what if, how about an episode that's just, what if Frank Castle was a Cokehead? And you see what that looks like? I'd watch that 30-minute cartoon, absolutely. By the way, this is why pencils have erasers so that it's like a little softer when you shove it up your nose. Yeah, exactly. That's why they did that.

Yeah, it helps many things. I do, like, I would have loved to see, because I know he said it since. Like, if we got to see heat and we see Pacino do a line at some point when he's going off to work, I would like, hell yes, hell yes. That's exactly what I want. Badass move here. A little bit of gymnastics from the Punisher. This hanging upside down from the chandelier and shooting people and using the force of the guns going off to twist yourself around. It's awesome, man.

And at this point, again, there's only been like nine lines of dialing the Punisher doesn't speak for 25 minutes, by the way, which is probably. Oh, is that right? Wow, I didn't even notice that, but that's amazing. I love that. Yeah, but with the chandelier stuff and all that, this should be an Olympic sport. I'm sorry, you should be able to go and shoot a bunch of people, I guess, I don't know. And we are here at the massacring finals here, here at Sweden, and we will be seeing us. Yes, it is, it is the Germans versus the Americans down to it.

As usual. As usual, these two competitors are here. We are going to see them take out. Of course, they are going for the three. 300 people in under five minutes and we are going to see no automatic weapons in this round and here come the political dissidents and we of course remember in the semifinals when the Australian Punisher team humiliated themselves with that one woman doing a bunch of stupid moves while killing people and here come the scores 10 10 5 oh wait no the judge has been shot we'll

change that to ten oh sorry yeah Americans just disappeared a bunch of people that doesn't count as murdering yet those bodies the remains need to be returned to the family the black sites and Guantanamo does not count as a fatality I'm sorry of course the Chileans

have not been good since they took out the helicopter measure you can no longer kill people by simply pushing them out of helicopter after that the Chileans have not had a good team since I can't remember 1986 maybe it was a real controversial rule change there when that happened so we have

uh yeah my hawk and his other partner guy here the other guy here uh helps out castle he's like you know you might want to head down to the docks first castle and castle's like all right you know he just nods or whatever and then this dude I love he punches himself in the face

to make it look like he tried to stop the punisher it's fucking awesome I gotta say I mean because we're doing this for to tie in with uh what's Daredevil Board again, again, Bernthal has returned as, as Castle in that. But it's kind of amazing that that show in this political climate is talking, is doing a dirty cop story right now. You know what I mean? And like how cops are ingested the Punisher and for all the wrong reasons and all that stuff. It's kind of wild that that is happening in this year.

every episode that unfolds of this Daredevil I can't believe they're doing what they're doing and like we're allowed to do it I think it's great you know it's probably my favorite Marvel thing since the fucking third season of Daredevil on Netflix how many episodes do we have left of this season

like four maybe or three maybe three I've been trying to wait till it's all like out there but I might not partook yet I've been apprehensive just because of Marvel fatigue, but it sounds like I should give this a whirl. I do like Berenthal a lot. Yeah, I mean, I kind of, I

sort of keep this like separate from Marvel stuff. Because, I mean, to me at least, it just feels completely different. Honestly, Daredevil's probably yeah, it's probably like the Marvel line I've read the most of. I was really

into Daredevil like in high school. Looking here, there's episodes total, so there's two more to air. Okay. So maybe I can hold out then, because I would like to watch it all in one big sweep like that and I have to wait out for this one, because I love the

Netflix seasons are so fucking good. And they hold most of it. I mean, the complaint thus far is that there's not quite enough daredevil, but I actually I'm surprised how little that bothers me. We'll talk to more about it. Yeah, we'll talk about that another time. But, so Castle is slinking around

the bottling plant here that McNulty and his brother's own and whatever. See, these are good guys. They run a recycling plants. Sure. Glass recycling. These are pillars of the community here. Look at this. This is green energy folks. Welcome to Rosoti woke industries. That is correct. We run DEI programs throughout the

metropolitan area. We are doing our best to do it. Welcome to our recycling plant. Billy the We love to see a beautiful city runs on recycled energy. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's install some fucking solar panels over there. All right.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're pulling into my parking lot with that guest guzzling F-150? Get the fuck out of here. Yes, I have a Tesla, but I purchased it before he did the whole Zig Heil thing. I did that. Before that, before that, after, I, I don't

like him no more, but I did before that. Because I care about my country. I got electric your automobile. Oh, you don't put that chicken palm in the garbage. You put it in the compost. What are you doing over here? You use whatever fucking bedroom you want, motherfucker, all right? It's your own fucking business.

Hell yeah, dude. These guys rock. Yeah, you can play on my son's basketball team. Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Little fucking kids. Who gives a shit? There's like fucking five of you in the whole fucking country.

who gives a fucking shit. I'm not gonna use some fucking youth basketball team I never heard of as some stalking horse to demonize an entire group of people. That doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm just saying maybe we get rid of the whole. You know what? Either you pack the courts or you get rid of the courts.

How about that? I say that. And by the way, yes, I did. I blew Simon's head off last night. I blew it last fuck off. It was a beautiful job and we dumped them. We dumped them out in the river. but yes

hey trans rights is all all right you understand that that's also recycling you know there's a lot of stuff in the harbor that needs to eat human flesh

true true progressive mafia I love it everyone's least favorite part of this movie which apparently this is a joke for Lexi Alexander was the parkor Irish

wild dude dude I love these dudes is that the guy's name McGinty absolutely Absolutely. McGinty, the dude with the dreadlocks. And it's awesome.

These dudes only travel by parkour. Which is awesome. Like only by rooftop parkour traveling. It's so great. Good for you. In subsequent interviews, she has says that this is like basically her making fun of how much parkour was in movies at the time and like how stupid it looked at. Sure, right. Like the Matrix kicked it off.

I'm sure. Jump in the rooftops. I was just thinking about that new Michael Bay dock. We are store. while watching this. What was the one, no, that I think the one that really blew the doors off it, though, was, is it

the start of Skyfall that has the, chase through the construction site, and its bond is chasing a dude doing parkour? I think that's Casino Royale. It's been a while since I've watched and then there's also, I mean, there's a lot of parkour at least in, I think, in the second born movie, or maybe

all of them, honestly. there's a lot of there's a lot of yeah the second one because he does to jump through the window which is a hardcore move um yeah i think those are both i mean around that time yeah it was very popular there was like docks there were not quite as good as what bay has done um but uh it was hot at the time and i actually i i i kind of think it looks good so i don't really give it shit yeah no i don't either i think it looks cool it looks cool i don't really care if it looks silly it's just kind of it does it does what i need to do here but i think i think to Alexander's uh you know her criticism it does sort of perfectly cement this movie in one oh yeah time you know what i mean that and i mean not for nothing this is this is the music in this movie is new metal too late it is like oh my god it's me it's four years four to five years too late on the new metal and it is wall to wall and then when you get to the end credits and there's like a decent enough Rob Zombie song, you're like

at least this doesn't sound like the other 99% of the soundtrack. Maybe it's one of the originators at least, you know, you give me a deaf tone song. It's not all Chevelle and Chevelle ripoffs. Yeah, it sounds like generic new metal throughout.

Not good. I've got Shazam like on a shortcut on my phone and a lot of those times when I'm watching stuff for the show I will just quickly Shazam just, you know, sometimes I curiosity sometimes I'll use it in the conversation but dudes every band that was popping up all these fucking

too late new metal guys I was like I've never heard of you I've never heard of you I've never heard of you you know I was it you wish you were listening to Chevelle dude the red great song no no no no no no fun no like yeah give me a mudvane come on you can't use a mudvane song

in here my kingdom for a mudvane oh man first time anyone has ever said that pretty horrible making history here on we hate movies But there's just like, it's a huge plot point and it's actually kind of funny because like they're like, oh man, you know, Billy is excited because now his boss is dead.

He's the boss. Didn't even have to get my hands dirty. Oh, brutal. But there's this, he's got a number three, this guy who's actually a secret cop. And he's like, what about that 200 grand I gave you? And like the rest of the movie is him hunting for $200,000?

A little low rent for the mafia. It's all I'm going to say. I mean, you don't want to, you can't just, that's nothing to sneeze at, neither. It's not, but like devoting all of these resources to 200 large, man. I think, like, you can do better than that. I mean, oh, the other side of it, though, is maybe, you know, there's just not that much money in recycling. That's true. Well, you're supposed to find more money the launder then.

That's on you. You just haven't found the, you got to find more criminals to work with. Come on, bring people in. Tumble dry low. I do love when Billy like sends them out to go looking for the money or whatever and he goes go do your monkey shit and they're like got it

and they all just like travel by parkour out of the hideout it's so awesome but right when they leave the Punisher breaks in I mean this goes from one action scene to another real quickly which is good you know I don't want to be twiddling my goddamn thumbs

and this is very Tim Burton Batman like this is axis chemical It's every I mean The Batman 89 stuff I mean is just everywhere It's like Top to bottom Even the way that they structure

At the way like the two Like the hero and the villain Are like coming to terms with themselves In that way I would also argue This is the sawiest this movie gets With this recycling Turning machine But first yeah he

The Punisher shows up He sees some guy get out of the toilet, instantly shoots him because he watched it in Pulp Fiction or something. I love his little tiny crossbow that he like unfolds out of his pocket and just shoots this dude in the neck

that he uses once. I mean like, I'm sure Microsoft's like, oh, here, look this. At a certain point, like, is it really worth it to bring the tiny crossbow? You have to bring tiny little arrows. It doesn't, it's not compatible with anything else. you have on you. You know what I mean? Like, at least this bullet could be used for that gun.

Like, you could, you know, just, just have a bunch of bullets on you. Well, maybe it's just a trial thing. It's like, all right, you know, all right. Micro asked me to check out the mini crossbow. So I'll just use it one time. All right. Yep. I got him in the neck. Pretty good. Now back to guns. He's going to put this one up on gun Etsy next week. He just wants to make sure that it tests right. Okay. I just, you know, so he's got to have some business. So yeah, he gives me some of these. And then I also get the exploding bullets. You know, those are very handy. It was just, you know what,

Micro, I'm just going to pass on the whole crossbow line at this point. It's not for me. I'm not a bow and arrow guy. I'm a bullet guy. But I'm working on a green leotard suit for you, you know, like Robin Hood. Yeah, that's, you're talking green arrow here, micro, and that's not for me. Don't you want to be able to swing from things like Batman or even a Spider-Man? When you're like, so an arrow goes up and you hang from it, you could swing, you know, that's, that's a good thing.

But, but keeping an arrow in my back pocket like, that's kind of a bad idea, my grow. Why is that? Because I got to sit down every once in a while, you fat fuck. Oh, oh, oh, up your ass. Oh, yes, okay. All right. Yeah, you know what, that's fair. I do love how Billy the Butte yells up at Castle like, hey, Castle, you ever dance with Satan in the stale moonlight?

Yeah. You know what, Lexi, that's a bit too much. You know, Lexi, I think that's a little too much. How does he wind up falling into the vat? Like, Castle shoots at him. We cut, and then we cut again, and then he's just going, aye. I think he, in trying to dodge, like, the shots from Castle, loses his footing and falls into it.

That's the idea. But him just getting ground up. I mean, Eric, to your point, it's what, in Saw 2, there's the, is that where he's going to jump in the hypodermic needles? I think there's a glass one It's brutal But what's also like It makes it kind of size

I don't think the recycling plant Would actually have like Glass windows into this That he gets churned up in there And then there's blood smearing It looks great I just don't think they'd have windows To watch the glass

Be broken up Okay but you have to admit They absolutely would just have a huge Open container of broken glass Yes A huge pit in the middle of it You absolutely would have that. Oh, you need that you actually need.

You absolutely do need. No protections or anything like that. I only think the window is unrealistic. Everything else is right on the money. I kind of want the flashback to when the mafia took over the glass bottling place, the glass recycling place. And like, there's the form in there that's worked forever. And it's like, all right, look. Yeah, we're definitely going to, you can take the office.

It's totally fine. There's just some safety stuff. I really want to go over with your guys because it is a little bit. No, no, fuck that. The fuck out of here. But actually, never stand over here, like, ever, ever. What do you think? We're fucking stupid or something.

Get the fight. Just sell us the fucking plan. Give me the keys. Just because we're woke, but doesn't mean we believe in work safety measures. It's an hour and a half course. If all of your guys take it, I guarantee you'll all be better off. OSHA, more like, oh, shut the fuck up. Well, we're woke, but that doesn't mean we like unions.

Let's make that very clear. We don't like any kind of safety measures being done here. but we absolutely yeah on the right on top of falling into this glass thing and being churned around in it he has time to be screaming and like really clearly

scream he's just like fuck you castle my fucking face he's yelling for this other mafia guy which is great he's like Pitsy where's Pitsy my fucking face Pitsy because again and Pitsy should be Steve Chirippo like this is a nobody guy

that has a lot of screen time He's got a shithead son that's a cokehead named Ink. Oh, dude, ink has one of my favorite deaths in this movie also. Who does drugs? And that's it. That's his whole thing is he does drugs. But big, you know, point of story here is the cops show up. The FBI shows up.

And right as he's leaving Castle looks at one of the dudes that he's killed. And he sees that the guy's wearing a wire. and he realizes, uh-oh, I've killed one of the good guys. Oh, no, I've, I've impeded an active investigation. I'm very worried about this as the Punisher. I just don't buy that. Right, because he doesn't believe a due process or anything. No, of course not.

You know what? American government. It's great. Going to turn myself into the FBI right now. That's what an American would do, and that's what Punisher's going to do right now. So Punisher goes to his. beneath the subway hideout here that he has in this movie. Little two Ninja Turtles for my taste.

The Punisher Cave. What's what's wrong with the Punisher Cave? At one point, I mean, and again, like, this is what we're talking about. The Bernthal thing, like, you're killing people left and right. You're killing, like, dozens of people a day. You're living like a ninja turtle.

At one point, do you look in the mirror, like, am I crazy or what? Yeah. Is this, am I insane right now? Like, wait a second. At least I'm not talking to a rat or anything. True. Yeah, there isn't a rat teaching me

martial arts just yet. There's a dog that talks to me all the time. It tells you who to kill. I was going to say, well, Bernthal, at least, he's like, well, yeah, I'm also talking to another mass guy who calls himself the daredevil. So, like, that just checks marks it. That's a

big check mark. I guess this guy's a little late to the party, you are right? Well, he shouldn't be befriending daredevil in this world. He should be befriending the fucking dust devil because this place is disgusting, dude. Get a vacuum cleaner down there. but he's bummed and throwing stuff around

it's a good I fucked up at work and I'm throwing shit around my hideout which is awesome and he flips on the old TV here and then man double dose of bad news that guy that fell in the glass recycler oh he somehow lived through that experience that's on you Punisher

this is like are you the Punisher or you're not you kill people right was it what was wrong could you not find a grenade to just drop into the recycling what would be so hard about that, huh? What's so hard?

I just want to let you know that this tank with all the recycled glass in it is not explosion proof. So if you drop a grenade in here, it will blow the glass out the side of the tank. Oh, get the fuck out of you. Oh, I care about grenades. Yeah, pitty, yeah pitty, yeah, pity.

Get out of my face with that stuff. Where's the sauce? All of these accents, which are bad, are better than what Dominic West does in this movie. And again, that's not campy, that's just not being able to do the accent. That's where we are. Yep. Exactly.

But so that's all going on and we cut, oh, this is the funeral scene which like, Punisher, I don't know, man, maybe don't show up at the fucking funeral. Did you get and Julie, eight people past

Benz is in this movie. Now I wonder about eight people past those, Steve, because this is like right at the height of Dexter and everything. Sure. That's fair. You know, it was a big TV show at the time, and she was a series regular. I mean, I'm sure, to your point, a

few people passed, but I don't think I don't think as many as like now, maybe, of Julie Ben's turned up in something. These are the movies she does though. Like, Rambo is this kind of thing. Dexter is, I mean, like, Dexter is that thing. I think isn't Ray

Stevenson, I think is in it for a season if I'm remembering crazy. I think he's one of the villains. Oh, is that right? I haven't gotten to Ray Stevenson. I think he, he is one of them. And FYI, another movie, this is the movie that she does. She's also in Boondock Saints.

Two. Yes. Oh, two. Two. It's special that it's two. Because that's the kind of movie she likes. She likes doing these kind of movies. And then she does like Dexter and other TV shit, I'm sure. Yeah. All Saints Day. I apologize. Oh, Boondock Saints

Two, All Saints Day. That's right. I think she did one of the saw. I think she did a saw. Didn't she? Julie Benz She did Yes I believe In the early goings Possibly

Two or three I feel like Actually Yeah Yeah look it up I'm not entirely sure I was looking up to see Holy shit 8mmeter 2

She's an 8 millimeter 2 How is it not 16 millimeter Come on Let's do it Thank you Yes we got a better camera For this snuff film And a sequel

Yeah finally upgrade Dude fucking It's just a movie called IMAX and nobody knows what it's about until they go into the theater. She's in Saw Five. Saw Five. Oh, okay. Chris Cabin, you were also correct. He appears, Ray Stevenson, appears in season seven of Dexter as Isaac Circos.

Yeah, he's the big villain in that one. Look at he's Circo. He was supposed to be good in that Ashaka show that nobody liked, but he was good in it. Assoca? Assoca. Asoca. Pan now for the table, please? Can we get some.

Osoka. He's the watchable part of Osama. He's great in it. Yeah, he's like a lost, he's like a maybe bad guy Jedi is pretty cool. I love that. I love the idea he's wearing a cape and that. I'm into that. Oh, absolutely. But yeah, so she, Julie Benz, is Angela Donatelli, which is awesome. We got one dude living in a subway

and another character named Donatelli. You bet your sweet ass I was thinking about Ninja Turtles watching this. You cannot eat a pizza down there. You just can't do it. Hey, man, copyright infringement. Get that pizza out of your hand, bro. Yo, dude, why did you kill the footclad? They were, like, kids.

Like, I know they were, like, smoking and drinking bud heavy, but that was, like, part of the shredder's selling point, dude. They were distributing cigarettes, which results in the deaths of millions. The Punisher, he wiped out the Foot Clan. Why did he do this? Why did he do this? Because they like their avocado toast. That's why he is against them for stupid reasons, folks.

He just like, he thinks they're on the computer too much with the social medias. That's why he killed them all. TVs and VCRs have been going missing in this neighborhood for weeks. I had to kill the footclaim. Yeah, I killed that news station manager's son, Danny. That guy had it coming. Skipping school. You're getting killed.

The only real trouble there is I actually accidentally. killed Sam Rockwell depriving everyone of a wonderful actor. But yeah, then we were introduced to the actor Colin Salmon playing Paul Budyansky okay, this FBI agent called on the trail of castle.

And look, the casting calls like, are you bad at an accent? Come to this movie. Like, I mean, like this guy. I like this guy. He's got a great presence. Right. But, Steve, the reason this is so bad is every single person's English. Yes, exactly. trying to play New York and it's very specific

and you can't do it. No, you can't. Yeah, no. And I'm trying to think of, because this guy, Colin Sam and I, oh, you know what, he, we know him previous episode, Alien versus Predator, by the way. And also

his episode Resident Evil. Resident Evil is, yes. He's the guy that gets cubed in that movie, which is really fun. I believe that's correct. Yes. And future episode, Mortal Engines will have to do that. Oh, yes. Oh, the Peter Jackson produced thing? Dude, it's fucking.

insanely dumb. Cities on wheels, baby. Wow, dude. How about this, you guys? He played General Zod for 18 episodes on that Krypton show. Oh, dude, Krypton. The question that asks, have you ever thought about Superman's grandfather? And the answer was no.

Definitely not. I haven't even thought of my own grandfather. But so, Buddy Anski's whole thing is, you know, he's going up to this other, you know, lieutenant or whatever. and he's like, hey, why aren't we fucking all over Frank Castle now? We know what Frank Castle was doing, and this guy is of the angle. He doesn't want to hear it because Castle's killing scumbags out there doing

scumbag stuff, and they have to deal with terrorism that has come to our shores. And he calls them, which is the best line of Colin Sam, and maybe his career is like, you crispy cream motherfuckers. Oh, dude, that's good. It's awesome. That's a good one, yeah. and oddly oddly

I mean what are the odds that Frank Castle attends this funeral and then wouldn't you know it it's the same cemetery where his entire family's buried

Oh damn it Weird One stop grief shop though You know so Oh but that's true We bury all cops And cops dead families In the same fucking

against the same cemetery How is no one defacing this grave. I mean, everyone knows who the Punisher is. Oh, that's true. You know what I mean? The mafia should be pissing on this thing on their way to work. Yeah, that's how you like, you're like, you know, trick them into coming

after you, you know, you set a trap for him, as it were. Who pissed on their grave? Who did it? He was the one. Just dig up their bodies and like fuck with them. That's what I would do. No, you know what? I got spider going over there every day and he pisses on it and he also takes a sledge

to it for a couple of times. we go to, we follow Colin Salmon's character to the 12th precinct he comes in to supervise the NYPD as FBI. This is indeed the line that Steve that you referred to when he says you Krispy Kreme motherfuckers would

be beating down every door in the city he's saying if it was a NYPD cop that was killed. I don't give a shit that's an FBI guy. Well because the NYPD there's one NYPD guy who is a real piece of shit

and he like calls the fed I don't like you would have to listen to the line for it to make wake when I'm about to say make sense he says feds to him and it's like he's trying to say another word that starts with F and ends with S that's horrible

it's like you feds and like you tell he just wants to say it so badly and then yeah this is dash my hawk as Martin Soap he's collected all of this Punisher Intelligence and this is kind of a great moment

and just a great use of the set when Buddy Anski's like so which one of these files is the castle file for me to look there and like my hawk sort of like looks around this pretty decent sized basement room and he's like all of this and then you just start thinking about like

the body count on the punisher god damn dude oh yeah that's like what do you think 30,000 it has to be in a city of 8 million 30,000 30,000 are you going to go missing. Dash Bihawk, also known

for another showtime show I've never watched. Ray Donovan. Oh, yeah, baby. Ray Donovan. Of course, yes. Just caught Myhock in there was that peacock show there with Amanda Seafreed,

the Philly set murder show there. Long Bright River, that's what it was called. Okay. First I've heard of it. yeah no i mean it's not that good it was based on a book uh that chelsea had like so we checked it out it's just your standard cop mystery thing it's it's not really that good but he's he's decent enough in it though he's great in romeo plus juliet yes yes oh yeah you guys say my hawk a lot i was like my a hawk well oh no i again it was another i recently learned how to

correctly pronounce an actor's name and he goes by my hawk funny enough really not me me honk or what was the wrong pronounce you oh a honk if me horny I think is what you what you were going for well I will be honking it's kind of great and again there's another more political stuff here is Wade Knight enters the movie

he's got a big box of guns it's like oh great it was I went to a Virginia gun show it's the Virginia Gun Show season yeah no background checks exactly which is very yeah I mean we're we're having a little bit of fun here we're talking about stuff

By the way, if that's allowed, why can't I be 3D printing guns all day? What's the difference? What is the difference? I don't know. But another thing that he says here that is very of the time, like right after that, is he goes, by the way, Frank, I've been getting a lot of action on jihad blogger. com chatting, pretending to be a terrorist. And he thinks that through his chats where Wayne Knight is pretending to be a terrorist online,

he can acquire Frank Castle a couple of rocket launchers rocket launches plural but you log on to the jihadblogger.com chat room and it's just all these FBI guys like is anyone is anyone here a terrorist or just talking

to each other it's just exactly it's like the Simpsons with the girl hotline yeah this is not much of a party on this party line hey Sam you want to get falafel for lunch yes sure no yeah we'll do that later yeah cool it sounds like something a terrorist would say Type in falafel. So Agent Fred.

Agent Fred, will you do that? But it does, it does suggest that because he does use a rocket launcher later, I wouldn't, I mean, maybe he did score it. Maybe it did. It paid off ultimately. Because the rocket launcher has a very important. It does. It does. Sure does.

And frankly, I would love that to be a deleted scene of like Wayne Knight just on a computer. So just so I can see this, this production's like fake mockup of. jihad blogger.com. Yes. Well, I would like to start a jihad with singles in my area. Yes. 50 and over.

Okay. Yeah, 50 and over jihad. Hell yeah. They're going to holy war on pussy. So he tells Microchip, he's like, hey, I fucking killed an agent. I'm done.

I'm going to retire. And he's like, oh, Frank, but the killing. Kill. Come on, they're killing, Frank. They're taking the lives, Frank. Come on.

The soul's stealing, Frank. I do kind of want one line about microchip being like, and they killed my dirter or something. You know what I mean? Like, what's his deal even a little bit? Yeah. It all seems to be connecting much like the shadow. And it's like, I saved you once. Don't.

Now you owe me. And like, just like a quick thing. Yeah, there's a decent, a decent microchip backstory in. those, like, solo Punisher seasons of that Netflix world. And it's Eben Moss Backrack as Microchip on that show, which is pretty cool. It was not a while there. Tuning out of that show. I liked it.

It was just one of those too much TV at the time things. And I just, like, go behind. I went back and I watched a lot of that stuff. I didn't watch Iron Fist, but I watched, like, the team up, like, Defenders season, which is fucking awesome. and frankly like if you're jonesing for daredevil he's all over that thing too okay uh which is pretty cool but uh yeah the punisher stuff on that show is pretty awesome he the first season is him he's teamed up with karen page kind of so debor ann walt's in it a lot and it's just more just more

fucking frank castle from burnthal which is yeah endlessly watchable so billy wants his money he's uh you know the money supposedly has been taken by the FBI uh So, and then we get this. This is the whole, he's fucking Jack Napier right here. This is the plastic surgeon scene. Oh, my God, yep. Or this dude, this is a fucking horrendous line. There wasn't a square inch of skin left intact on this dude's face.

And what they used to bridge the gap was horse hide. Yes. He would be so cool if he became like a horse guy. He started naming and stuff. Horse man. He's eating hair. like that'd be great he's like all right now for the next big italian mafia dinner and it's just bales of hay i'll tell you a fucking horse could do a better new york accent than uh yeah definitely mr ed there was that uh yeah the one episode of mr ed where they took the trip to a new york city they were going to race down at the aqueduct uh huh yes yeah and mr ed met his cousin mr fred and he sounded fucking awesome yeah they ate uh marin mariner sauce on top of head that'd be great

that's pretty cool it's very uh it's almost like pasta it's just really al dente yes just raw fucking pasta angel hair you know it's easy the reveal here I gotta say props to

the sound department the noises that are going on this plastic surgeon is pulling the bandages off his face like I said to myself I'm going to vomit and then the guy in the movie vomited. Yes. Yes. Well, they're, I mean, amazingly

so, I mean, because this is what happens. He reveals himself. It takes a mirror and he's like, I look like Robert Davy now. And then he goes crazy. Yeah. He looks so much like Robert Davy in this movie. Oh, my God. You're so right. Well, yeah. Oh, post the thing. Yes. Yes. Yes. Very much so. And a very stupid turn, right? He's like staring out the window at this time square. that has a jigsaw puzzle advertisement of the Statue of Liberty for some reason

and it's like all the pieces coming apart going back together he's like call me jigsawes boss did you just get that from from that that's pretty late call me burger king I would support that way more there's also though a bullshit scarface thing

because that same jigsaw billboard says the world is yours of course. Yeah, it Pitsky had ink come in and they're like oh my guy, what do you do? And there's a scissors in the surgeon's head and he's like, well, you know,

I was fine with how the work, the work was fine actually. But he started saying that women don't deserve the same pay as men. And I just I can't believe that shit. I just, I get your, the anger comes up in me all this sudden. Equal pay

for equal work. Come on. What? What is so hard about that. How is that hard? I had to. I had to put one in them. I had to put one. You know, and he started, he also, oh my God. Oh, moron. Oh, he did this thing. He started making fun of people talking about their mental health. And you know, I just

I don't, I do not like that. It's fucking ridiculous. I tell this guy that part of my parkour, a gang of Irishman has a dude that's got dreadlocks in it. And he called it DEI, so I put scissors in his fucking head. Then he started talking about those new elves on the

Lord of the Rings show. Put a stop to that. These scissors are Michael Myers-sized scissors. Now, this is a fucking slasher movie kill. It's awesome. It rules. But this is, yeah, Billy is dead. From now on,

you call me jigsore. Yeah. You gotta get your brother, my brother, my brother out from the insane asylum. Oh, yeah, your brother that also has like a weird, flashy name. Oh, no, no. That's just James. You're adamant

that your brother is James and you are Jigsaw. James. James and Jigsaw. It's got to be like at some point in this movie he's got to do something that impresses Jigsaw and then Jigsaw just goes like, you know what? You took it back. You are Looney bin Jim. Like you have to like he has to embrace that at some point.

It's very dumb that they just keep correcting it to James. Come on James. Just give me, just you have to have a name. Give me something. Just get, come on, just, just being new. Oh, I got it. How about I'm Superman? You can't, you can't, you can't do that, actually. That's taken by somebody, but it's okay.

I like, you're thinking, I like that. I got it. How about Captain America? Well, you're thinking, you're thinking, I like that. I like that. I got to say, as broad and annoying as Dominic West gets this jigsaw. Here comes Doug Hutchinson's

Lunypin Jim. And it's so much worse. It's so bad. So much worse. It's off the top rope, dude. Off the top rope with this terrible fucking voice. And again, like we're talking, camp is Peter Stormer and Constantine. Like that, it's good.

It's bigger than it should be, but it's still good at the colonel. Like, Caesar Romero was good as the Joker. It was camp because it was big. This is bad. So we've got a dude very much reminded me of the fucking scumbag attendant in Kill Bill. And I was like, is this guy walking in with a jar of aceline for fucking Looney Bin Jim?

But this guy comes in. Of course, he's just a big fucking gross fat guy. And he's like, oh, how you doing today, Looney Jim Bin? Like you got to scumify this guy enough. So when this dude is literally eating his face off in two minutes, like you'll be fine with it as an audience. but they storm in and I love they've got the doctor here

knocking on the door and then Jigsaw just breaks this dude's neck again another mouh fabulous neck break in this movie it's great yeah I do want a scene

where like someone tries to break a neck and it realize it's harder than you thought and you're like wrestling him to the ground trying to break his neck just a little bit just a little bit more come on come on let's hear that bump

oh it's not it's not cracking look You made it look easy. What do you guys do it? How do you do it? I should be able to do it like that. And I mean, honestly, like, just because I hate the way he says it, I wish they were feeding Looneybin, Jim, anything other than Apple Suilis. Oh, dude.

I want my apple sears. Ugh. Fat shows mine, he says. Uh, but yeah, he just rips this dude apart like a dog. you don't you don't see it it's like behind the table and like Looney bin Jim does a like come up for air moment to be like

he's got like blood all over his mouth so you understand what he's doing to this guy it's a baby with a smash cake that's the best thing I can explaining what Doug Hutchinson is doing that's what I think he was trying to get to as an actor was a baby when it plays with its smash

cakes with this guy's guts Speaking of playing with a baby. Yes. We got Doug Hutchinson. Yes, a top five draft pick for guys you don't want coaching your kids softball team. That's right. Because I wonder if his future wife, Courtney Stodden, 16 years old, they got, she was 16

when they got married. She was 13 at the time of this film. Do you think she saw this and this was like an attraction? I mean, uh, or he just prayed on her problem. Yes. She had come out. They got divorced, and she basically was like, yeah, that guy groomed me. It's like, oh, really?

Yeah, that makes total sense. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they got divorced. Actually, right before the pandemic started, March 30th, 2020. Great time to get out. Oh, boy. Yep, absolutely. You don't want to be locked in Doug Hutchinson's house during a lot of them.

No, you don't, dude. That would have been the next fucking true crime documentary we'd watch about how that dude definitely murdered her in isolation. So glad she got out of there. So we have to, we got to talk about it. It's the most uninteresting part of this for me. Like I said, it's very not punisher as far as I'm concerned. He goes to the Donatelli house and he's trying to give Julie Benz this huge fucking hockey

equipment duffel bag size thing of money here. He meets the little dirter who like, I'm sorry, Julie Benz. Like your husband was just murdered and you're letting this girl like play out on the porch by herself at night? I don't think so. Murdered by the mafia? Well, I mean, just the punisher, but also, like, in the mafia, like, kind of, right. He's now been revealed as a double agent, you know what I mean?

Like, who knows? And live in somewhere else at this point? Yes. You know, like, a witness protection of some kind, or yeah, at the mother's house. You should be in Iowa eating fucking, you know. Egg noodles and ketchup. Thank you. There you go.

I think in Iowa, spaghetti is, uh, hey, with mariners. I always hate when they do this. like this girl is probably like 12 and they write her like she's three and a half like it's just yeah she's just like help me with my crayons and like yes yeah doesn't understand danger but later like Steve later in the movie jigsaw refers to her as jail baits at one point so to Doug Hutchinson she absolutely is that's true them's marion ages no no Doug you can have that line no yeah absolutely no I don't need more time on sky you know no pittsky's fine pittske's got plenty of lines no you can you take that

one he literally married her like you would get a subscription to disney adventures magazine you needed your parents permission yeah my parents gave that permission by the way and disney adventure was a fucking awesome magazine that i read cover to cover every week or whenever it came out never had the pleasure i had uh nintendo power though oh you another good one another great Great publication. Oh, wonderful. Great work. But you have, I mean, this is just the whole, like, she pulls a gun on him and he's like,

no, no, don't shoot me here, shoot me here, do it. Just fucking, just, just, you know, squeeze your hand. Don't pull that you kill me right now. He's hard as a rock. He's hard as a rock, right? He's hard as a rock. But also, I think it's bullshit because I'm pretty sure Castle's wearing a fucking vest right here. He's like, yeah, your husband took you into the range, didn't he always showed you how to

shoot. You know how to protect your family. But you got to put the gun down, right? Right on my heart. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Tell me I'm a dirty boy.

Come on, say I'm dirty. I'm a dirty boy. I killed your husband. Step on me. Stop on my shoes. But then they do a thing that I feel like in another draft of the script, this was brought back. But he's like, he gives the little girl a flashlight. And he's like, oh, you know, if you're ever in the dark now, you won't be anymore or whatever.

And the end of the scene, like she doesn't shoot him, obviously. And he's walking away. And the little girl flashes the flashlight through the window. You expect her to use that flashlight later to, like, indicate to Castle, like, where they're being held or something like that. Never comes back. Sort of a dropped idea. But again, this little girl, her dad is murdered. Her mother is now holding a gun to a guy on a porch.

And she's like, Mom, where's my red pen? I need my red pen. Yeah. Do this girl, she's regressing? And you need to take her to a child psychologist immediately. you need to start bringing her to the range. You know how your husband took? You got to bring her because if I'm Frank Castle

and I've just been through what I've been through and all of a sudden I just hear red pen out of the core of my ear and this thing is, I'm whipping around with the gun and I might take out the beautiful little daughter. The little daughter might have to go bye-bye because I'm just, I'm freaked out as is. I'm glad you're not the punisher then, Chris Cabin.

You didn't kill children. You'd make a poor punisher, I'll be honest. Oh, yeah. But so we get a little bit of Billy, you know, sets up his new hideout or whatever. And he has like a minor freak out in the lobby because there's all these mirrors around. And just like, we're just killing time here.

Like Doug Hutchison's like, oh, when you're with me, you'll never have to look at your reflection again. And then like cue the fucking new metal drop. And this dude's like throwing himself into mirrored walls left and right because he's so extreme to the max. Hey, hey, you know what? That's just a brother showing love to his brother. Okay, that's like, you know what?

If I had a brother and he was like, I hate mirrors, I would also, I guess, throw myself at mirrors all over the place and probably kill myself doing it because, I mean, some of those drops are bad. Oh, right on the head. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I wouldn't do this. Actually, I take it back. Even if it wasn't my brother. It's bad luck. No, I don't think so.

So jigsaw has a little bit of a mafia summit here He invites the Russians to come in And this is awesome They're speaking Russian in front of him And he goes, it's not Transylvania You don't have to speak vampire in here That's funny hilarious That's pretty good

But basically they're going to make a deal That this is the biological weapons are coming in And the so-and-soes and queens are going to get them Absolutely Pretty good kill here with the wine glass stem Ooh to the throat it's good and this is good like makeup effect like

you look and like it is you know the tiny stem of the wine glass is broken off and it's like in one side and out the other dude holy shit straight up kills that dude but yes 12 mil to jigsaw for getting the deal done right exactly because there's

going to be a lot of take a lot of payola to keep it quiet I love the usage of payola yeah dude I thought I was watching boardwalk empire Oh, so you're the one. No, so then they decide, yes. Now that's done. We're going to cool.

We're cool on our heels. What about that $200,000? We got to go fucking find that rat who did it, the rat. Ray. Oh, it's awful, dude. So, yeah, we got to find the Riat that fucking stole that 200K. Even though we're getting $12 million in for this biological weapon deal. Every penny counts.

guess. That's right. And this is where we see a little bit of, man, microchips really sad home life. Yes. God damn, dude. He's taken care of his fucking feeble elderly mother who's like just in a coma basically, like catatonic watching. What does he say? Cooking shows. Cooking shows. It's just watching cooking shows all day. He's got this thin. It's Wade Knight, obviously, Seinfeld's great. The Newman himself. To distinguish himself, he's got a thin goatee. not great no no yeah you know but you gotta have something dude

you have to because if it's not for that goatee at the end of this movie Newman is being shot in the temple and it's it's disturbing enough as it is with the goatee without that dude the guardrails are off I'd be crying it's exactly what Jerry Seinfeld

imagined millions of times yeah oh my god I dreamt this moment would come like the character Jerry Seinfeld is sitting in the theater watching Punisher Wars Elaine look my dream Oh, my God, I came! Now do Banya, kill Banya.

I'm going to go and set Newman's mother on fire. Throw Buckels into the glass recycling. That guy sucked too. Fuck you, Buckles. What's the deal with punishing? What's the deal with extrajudicial killing? What do they call it extrajudicial killing? I mean, there's no extra judiciary.

It's not like we're going for more due process. You know, for several reasons now, we have to arrest you, Jerry Seinfeld. But Frank is kind of pissed off at Microchip because he's given some responsibilities to a former gangbanger who's trying to turn himself around here. And don't worry, dude, you'll be dead before the credits roll this character here. Carlos, he's wearing a toe tag the whole movie. You can tell you. absolutely. We needed a body. So, you know, he'll fucking get his in time. But basically it's like, all right, you know, this dude, you know, Billy's going to kill the widow and everything. It's not a matter of if, but when we got to get him out of there, whatever. And Frank is like, no, I'm done. He walks out. You know, Wayne Knight gets to do this. Hang on, Carlos. Three, two, one. And like, Frank walks back in the door. One last job.

job is now on the table. And I'm not a senior care worker, you know, but what? If you have, if you, I'm not, if you have an elderly person in your house with dementia, is it smart to have nothing but loaded guns everywhere? That's actually, I can take that, Steve. Yes, they want that. That's, that's, that's actually, they tell you to have several dozen if you can. That's the thing you think Jigsaw killed his mom. No, he, the mother just accidentally blew her fucking braids out. Yeah. What's this? Oh, is this where I keep the nice cookware? What?

It makes them feel safe. I just want to watch my cooking shows. It's just the remote control. The clicker's not working. Let me put it to my head. Yes. Oh, here comes Bobby Flay.

Yes, that always makes the clicker work better when I turn it to my skull. Oh, yes. Oh, so cold in this department, so drafty. Better blow dry my hair. Okay. Yes. Like I always do

Right before I watched a big show down I'm going to pull the pin on my remote control Bam went off What is this? I thought I thought Emeril I thought Emeril wasn't on two five

Babam indeed Oh no Babam There goes my fucking skull So You know Frank and Carlos are now going out

trying to track down Billy or whatever and they realize one of the ways into that is following this McGinty gang and we catch these dudes they've just robbed a bodega or something and they are again escaping via parkor thank you but by the way

bodega that's what they should say it's set New York they say the convenience store on 54th Street what are you talking about? No thank you well soccer blue this is filmed in Montreal and it shows there's a certain part when Frank goes down to his Ninja Turtle layer

and it drives me crazy it's the ACE on 5th Avenue and I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Dude, and the fucking L's there. And they're all colored red too. Bullshit. Google it. Look, if you're not going to do it, just Google it.

It's crazy. But the bodega is it's a Jason Vohy's killing that they do to this dude. It's a fucking, it's a machete right through the head. Yeah. You don't see, it's off-screen, but you see the aftermath, which is great. It's pretty good.

And, you know, all for like, whatever, the fucking $200 the guy had in the drawer, probably. But this is, we were talking about it, they are jumping over the rooftops. One dude gets over the rooftop successfully. Middle guy, who I believe is also in the process of doing like a flip in the air. Yeah, yeah. Fucking rock it right to this dude's heart and he explodes. Holy shit, it's great. There it is.

That's the glory of jihadi. blogger right there. There it is for all glory to see. But yeah, not only that, McGinty, yes, McGinty does come to a terrible end. But McGinty's life is over here too, because you took his knees out, man. Yes, that's it.

For a parkour, man, that's it. You might as well have put one right in his fucking head. Yep, exactly. It's like breaking the hand of a piano player, dude. Why would you do this? And basically he's like, oh, yeah, he's got this Irish accent again. These are, I believe.

based off of some Garthennis guys and like they're from Hell's Kitchen or whatever Irish people or whatever and like basically they're gonna go he knows that Billy is go to the widow Donatelli's house and so yeah he shoots him and he's kind of great because it cuts you like

oh we're not gonna see that guy get killed oh you see him get killed oh yeah absolutely in the best way possible which is the fucking cops are like talking in the car and you get like pointless backstory about like why the Donatelli guy had to go undercover because Buddy Ansky was like a huge

corrupt like Coke head cop and he refused to uh this this Donatelli refused to fucking like rat out his partner so they made him go undercover with the mafia or whatever and they're just like talking about this when Frank drops McGinty off this fucking building and he lands

on this iron fence impaled and then Castle jumps down and knees this dude in the head breaking his neck oh yeah pretty fucking stellar. I mean, because everybody else has already done the cool spin method of breaking a neck. This is how you innovate is you drop yourself from several fucking flights up to knee someone and break their neck that one.

It's a Hogan leg drop, basically. It is incredible. It is really just incredible to see. It's an ECW Hogan leg drop like this. I do like that right before this, though. When soap is first introduced in that scene, he's at a bar getting drunk. and he's like, you know, what I like to do on my off hours is get drunk and listen to the police radio.

Yes. There's a lot of people that do that. So do a lot of weird loners. I was going to say, man. They sit out on their stoop, listening to that police scanner, drinking, smoking. Then they update their signal, or not the signal app.

What's the community app? Next door. No, no. Citizen you're thinking of. Citizen, yeah, that's where it is. Yeah, there's an app where it's like, you type in what's, going down and you can listen to it's fucking again you want to hear some of the most racist

shit you'll ever hear in your life download that app and read it next door next door is actually it's called next door app for retired citizens aka narque absolutely well done uh but yeah so the mafia shows up kidnaps uh the the the donatelli family what's left of them i'm looking for the money you're rat of a husband stole from me and then this is we get the the Buddy Ansky Castle Fight is around here, which is, it's a pretty decent one-on-one alley fight. Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was good. Salman's

built like a brick shit house. You want to see him get into some, you know. Yeah, no, absolutely. I'm avoiding saying the name of the family because I know I'm going to say Donatello. You want to say yes. The thing is you want to say. When you said the widow Donatello, that's what I heard for a second, and I was just

thinking about that, some poor woman being given the purple eye mask. folded into a fucking triangle. And here's his bow staff. His shattered staff. It's in two pieces. This was the knock on the door I never wanted to come.

My husband, Donatello, the Ninja Turtle, fell in service. Raphael is in the trench coat giving it to him. He's like, hurry, hurry, hurry, take it. Hurry, hurry, take it, hurry. You finally killed one of the turtles. I didn't realize it would be so fucking sad. Let's not do this. Let's take the techno drone back to it.

Dimension X. Dude, I love that. The reality of the world finally hits it. Oh, my God. I actually killed him. He's not, Leo, is he breathing? Oh, my God. It's so popped up.

Shredder throws up through his gated mask. Coming up through his eyes. If this is what victory feels like, I never want to feel it again. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God, he had a wife. I had no idea. They hand her some, like, broken inventions.

And she's like, yes, I know he, he always did machines. He had a, oh, God. He had a daughter. He had a normal daughter. Don't worry about it. We feel really bad about this. So the foot clan is going to take care of you in perpetuity. You will never, ever again in your life, have to buy a pack of cigarettes for yourself.

You'll never again have to worry about where the next arcade tower is coming from. We did something nice for you. We had our, I guess, scientist, Baxter Stockman, make you a mecha Donatello. Oh, yes. For you to have, just to have around the house. Look at that. In death, Donah T'Hello defeated the Foot Clan and everyone.

That's how you bring them down, dude, through fucking reality-driven guilt. So the cops show up at the Donatelli house to see what's going. on here and man oh man here's uh this is what's his face again is this looney jim bin right here with the fucking baseball bat where he first hits this cop in the back of the head yes with this bat and then the dude falls and gets million dollar baby on a fucking

on a chair that fell over oh my god officer or cute is that code your dead husband's birthday. That's a jigsaw line to the widow Donatelli asking for the safe password. Liddy bit Jim also shoots up the girls dolls because of course he does. You got to do that. Also, other cop ran through with a sword fighting the other guy. Yeah. That's

something I didn't expect to see in the Punisher movie. Pretty cool. Kicked into a katana. Like, it's an interesting one. The the Punisher is in the back of Soap's car. and then Badanski tries to come in and save the day he gets quickly taken hostage Captured immediately So sad, it's so pathetic Yeah

It's like how did you get on the fucking FBI payroll With skills like this dude And man oh man the Punisher gets freed by soap And he punches this kid through the face This is so good As Jason Voorhees as it gets Like this is amazing It's amazing

Like he fucking backs his kid up against the wall And punches through his face. Now, here's the thing. We were saying earlier, right, that he's, he's seen like snort and blow and whatnot. Is this supposed to be like a, now kids, don't do too much blow because you'll wear down the septum in your nose. And then if you get punched by the punisher, your fucking skull will cave in. Exactly. That would make sense because then why wouldn't you just, why would you waste a beautiful shotgun shell on the face of Mr. Pitsky? When you can do the same thing with your fist, if that's what you're doing, you're just

going around fucking destroying faces with your fist. Like, why even bother with the shotgun? And later, he's in hand-to-hand combat with Looney bin Jim, who's four and a half feet tall. Don't even get to that guy's face. Don't even get me fucking started. How did Lutie Bid Jim be able to take on the Punisher? It's fucking ridiculous.

Because it's not just Jim. It's Luni bin Jim. Yeah. They're not calling him that as a fucking favor. The dude's crazy. It's crazy. And that means he's strong, his fucking punisher. A fucking six foot four punisher. Dude, I don't know. Chris Benoit wasn't a tall

man. Look what he did. Look at all that he accomplished. That's definitely the first thing you should go to when thinking about these things. Definitely Benoit. The family punishment. I just mean there's a lot of, there's a lot of fucking, yes, there's a lot of fucking, you know, surprisingly powerful tiny guys. That's all. Look at Steve. Look at Steve. Look, I am not making fun of the manlets of the fucking world. That's not my point. They prefer, they prefer, prefer short kings short kings okay manlets or short kings i that's not my point here what are you saying wait what what is this man lit is the manlet yeah yeah yes yeah yeah yeah is that real or you just making that up right it's been used before yeah yeah it's like a little man it's a little

tiny man oh that's like you like piglet or something oh there it is tiny yeah yeah put your hands behind your back. CGI shotgun to the face right here. Fucking awesome. I like Bananski's reaction of Goddammit Castle. Yes. Can we arrest anyone?

No, they just have to be killed, I guess. Because that's the, uh, the pitsy guy is on his knees right there. And so that dude's, that dude's done, which I believe is head destruction two of four. His face is destroyed, much like his sons. I guess it's nice to go out like that. A lot of facial trauma. And now Castle grabs the little girl. And she's like, thank you, hulking murderer.

Like, you've just seen the most horrific shit a human can see. And you're hugging this dude? Like, nah, nah. Yeah. And he's also your dad's killer. Yeah. So now what we get a looney bin, Jim and jigsaw get arrested here. There's a good exchange here between Budanski, is it?

And, uh, soap, uh, like, how do you escape custody in the back of your locked car? And that castle's a slippery one. Yes. Yes. I did like that line. Pretty great. Uh, but so while they get arrested, Castle takes, uh, the Donatellis to his fucking ninja turtle hideout.

Uh, this is a weird, like, the little girl. I think the character's name is Grace. Like, she's fucking around with Frank Castle's like locked trunk. And, uh, he's like, no, no, no, it's okay. You can open it. And it's like, here's the museum display of my dead family. Let's sort through all this. I was like, isn't everything in this place a grenade?

Like, I would not let this girl anywhere near this fucking place. It's got to be wired to blow, right? That kind of a hideout, it's 100% wired to blow. That's my kid's old football stuff with C4, of course. There is a legitimately sad moment right here, though, when she picks out like a toy or something from the box and he's like, That was my daughters. And she goes like, oh, does she mind if I play with it?

And, dude, Cass, I mean, Stevenson does such a good job right here. Like, he's just fucking done with that remark. And he just goes, no. Like, oh my God, dude, it's really good. I would go back and fucking right on top of this. Oh, yeah. No, she doesn't. Does your dad mind if I play with your mom?

Oh, dude. Same difference, because she's dead. Gotta say, that would be way too much, not the Punisher. If he, like, got with this woman at the end of this. And then you just start fucking. It'd be amazing. Totally. It'd be so gross.

Yeah, I'm Frank Castle, dude. Like, he's a widower man. And he's a one woman kind of guy. Your mother's a slippery one as well. Oh. So we get jigsaw and Luni Benjimmer in observation of the police station. Yeah. This is this FBI agent.

shows up and the whole deal you're like jigsaw's got him by the balls because he's like hey I know all about this fucking biological weapon that's coming into the port I know when it's going down I know where it's going down and all we need is full immunity and we'll tell you and by the way

think of the optics if when the public finds out you let 9-11 two happen because you wanted to keep two lowly mobsters in jail like great fucking grift on these guys he's got this line of you'll have to explain it to wolf fucking Blitzer why you let this

happen, yeah. Yes, why you got half the city killed. Also, though, 2008, Wolf Blitzer was like the real anchor that we were putting in stuff. IMDB trivia, to be believed, that's an ADR line because it was originally Tim

fucking Russer, but then he died and then they were like, oh, oh, oh, no. But doesn't it still fit, though? Like, Blitzer was like Oh, yeah, totally. Of the moment there, he's been another, um, Is it the mission impossible? Yeah, that's the other one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn, that's great. Because him and Tom Cruise at the same height so that he could put the mask on. Yes, yeah, yeah. But the deal's going down here and the Russians get the weapon. They give over the money.

Uh-oh, Homeland Security raid. Oh, boy. Oh, here they come. Here comes our boys. So it's kind of amazing. Like, the homeless, this all happens in one shot. Homeland Security gets the guys and then like they're given all the money too

like that's part of the deal right yeah I mean you know he got all his bases covered dude Jigsaw would be really good going up against Wishmaster like oh jigsaw wouldn't you like to oh wait no you covered your base with that too well how about if it turned out oh no you covered that god damn it

that's a really good wish shit fuck this guy's good I like the other condition of the agreement is like this dossier on micros chip. Yes. The FBI turns over information on microchip here and then we got we cut to Carlos showing up at the hide out here

and he's going to hang with the Donatellis while Castle goes out to take care of some business or whatever and then this is like the brothers sort of plotting how they're going to take everything over we got to go to all the gangs recruit a fucking army or whatever. We have to mention jigsaw has now changed costume

and he's dressed like my chemical romance for something. Yes. Finally. He's ready for the black parade, dude. Absolutely. Well, he says, you know, we're going to go, we're going to do what the American government does. Go into poor neighborhoods. Off of them $100,000 they're never going to see. And, you know, it's better to get shipped off to Iraq. It's actually, it's an incredibly politically charged line, right? Yes, it is.

Not America. We're going to do like the army, like very much setting them on blast. Recruit and poor neighborhoods promise them $100,000 to go to a college. They'll never get. to and promise they'll never have to go to Iraq. Like, this Punisher movie is one of the more political Marvel movies I've seen. Absolutely. And, you know,

even so much so that there's that giant flag behind him. Yeah. He's doing a patent thing. Yes, that's right. I forgot about that. Oh, and then also this is where we learned that Microchip's mother got her fucking head shut off. Yeah. Oh, man. There's not it's like maybe 20%

left. Like, it's mostly gone. Yeah, there's There's less head than there is head there. That's like osteoporosis for you or whatever, right? Oh, yeah, her skull shattered even easier. Unlike her son, it's not just a little, you know, a little pin prick in the head. No, no, no. Meanwhile, family guy cut to, oh, the phone is ringing.

Where is that phone? Hello? She blows her head off. So the bros invade Castle's fucking turtle-eater. here and dude this is Carlos just getting chopped up by Looney bin Jim Right because he asks him like how are you today

And it's like well I asked you a question and you ignore me Because he yelled to the The kid and the woman to get out of there No he axed him a question you get that's yes yes Sorry yes axed I guess I'll have to ax it again And again like there was a point earlier in the movie Where they made a point of showing like Carlos goes into like a room full of bad guys

and they all get thrown out by Carlos. He's a super hard guy. All I know about fucking Looney bin Jim is that he likes eating fat men in front of his brother. Like I guess, yeah, I guess everybody likes that one. So I'm just like, can you give me something? Did he take the super serum or something?

Exactly. Because like, I'm not seeing the muscle mass here or anything. Well, if Wikipedia is to be believed, there's something about like he runs on adrenaline and testosterone or blah, blah, blah, blah. Like it's imbalanced in his head. I'm like, that's not in the, movie. It's not a movie at all. No, it's not. No, it's not to have his like looney bin

doctor reading a chart before his neck is hilariously broken. And if you want him to be this crazy super guy who's got like who can jump all over people and make it be believable, why isn't he the head of the fucking McGinty gang? And it's like, it's like walking coming back in King of New York and he's like, how's my guys? He comes back and here. This is my people. Here's something. There's a connection, but no, it's just no, this guys just can kill anybody, including Carlos, who he does in like that, like no, nothing.

Well, Carlos is still alive because Frank finds him and, uh, well, actually Frank was watching Blade the night before and then, uh, he does this scene. Yeah. Give me your chicken shit. No, but he shows him mercy. He's like, I don't want to die like this, you know, put me out of my

misery or whatever. And, uh, he says to Frank, I'll see you in hell. This is a great, this is a great emotion. Punisher line. It's not just like Punisher Sad Kid Deadline, but this is just, I see you anywhere near hell, I'll kick your ass

out. In other words, that's the punisher telling this guy he did a good job. Yes. You know what I mean? He shoots him in the fucking face. It kind of doesn't, how hell works. I don't know. It's up to St. Pete. I don't know. Could you just be nice to me and let me escort me out of hell? Do you have to actually include

like a hell-like punishment to get me out? I don't want to be kicked around. Well, because he's got to be badass a little bit, Eric. I mean, come on, like, if you're doing that. And also, you have to usurp the devil to even get this done. So there's, there's plenty of action to be had. Love that. Love that we're breaking down this nice line that happens before.

He's killing. Yeah, really got a fucking poke-hulls. Punisher afterlife and then he's fighting the devils and stuff. That was a Marvel Nights comic. He was like a ghost hunter for like a box. Of course he was. If you could think of folks at home, you can think of anything. The comic books have it.

They did. Whenever they try to do Punisher interacting with like larger fantastical things, it's always not great. Yeah. But this is, he goes to

he goes to attend service at a John Wick church here for a second. Yes, it absolutely is a John Wick church. I feel like Darendel needs to be like, oh, this is my thing, dude. Yeah, dude, you can't go to fucking church, Frank. Like, come on, man. Oh, you're Catholic, too.

Shut the fuck up. Get out of you. But this is where we learned. So first of all, I love this because Frank Castle calling this priest Mike. Uh-huh. Awesome.

And we learned Castle was in seminary with this guy. Wow. That's insane. Frank Castle was studying to be a priest at one point. I believe that is a comics thing. He was.

Really? Yeah. And then he became a, we said in this movie at some point that like for six years, he was a special forces trainer. Yes. that's why he's so good at what he does he's making the killers dude yeah i believe he's a tier one

operator eric is what that's that's that's and he was studying to be a tier one uh what what do they call that uh chaplain or something tier one father yeah is there like a word for like a military priest yeah yeah yeah yeah it's the chaplain yeah okay uh so end of this conversation with the priest is is pretty quick and then buddy anski comes in and he's like I want to go on this mission with you, Frank. And he goes, you want to come along, leave your badge at home. You know, he's like, I'm going to think pretty fast because it's going on tomorrow. Yes, exactly.

We see Jigsaw pulling all these gangs out of their hideouts here. This is where he gives the big patriotic speech in front of the flag and everything. So we've got like Asian dudes, black dudes, Irish gang dudes, all falling into the tune of new metal that we don't want. And then, like, in a detail too many is the, like, the Russian guy is, keeps being, like, my father finds out about this, my father, my father, and then, like, Bernski goes and, like, enlists the Russians to Frank's cause. Yes. It's a little too much. It's fine, but it's. I got zero problems with it.

I think it's awesome. Fucking pit these gangs against each other like this. No problem. Oh, I also think it's a little silly. but I will take this for sure over what would have happened these days in which we find out, oh, my God, your father's the green goblin or whoever the fuck, you know, it's like, I don't need that. That would drive me fucking insane.

But this is also pretty goofy when they're like, yes, we're here to kill you as well. It is kind of awesome, though, when Bananski, as this FBI agent who's supposed to be like the buy-the-book guy is just like, yeah, we want jigsaw taken out. And then this guy, Christu, the, you know, mafia head here, he's like, no

worries, my friend, which I, you know, whatever, it's fine. So they go to this hotel, here's the Russian guy, Christiu, he comes up to the door, they open the door, like, what's the password? And this guy goes, I'm here for the Punisher Party, which is fucking awesome, dude. And they open the door, and we get in there.

And there's some, like, observation happening and it's like, oh, that's Christo's father. He's an old school genocidal maniac where I think soap has that line. So a lot of questions about what he was up to in the old country with this genocide.

Which genocide do we talk? There's a lot. Yeah, best to not ask any questions at this particular moment. Hey, Tiberu. Hey, Tiberu, who are you with? Huh? He was best friends with Slobodon. Oh, boy. But yeah, so then it just

the only thing here is Castle refuses to let Badanski go down the same path as him and he hits him in the face with the butt of the gun and knocks him out and he goes in to do this whole raid and this whole action sequence which is basically just the end of the movie is great. It is. It's he has one room full of guys that he just puts a fucking grenade in there and everybody even explodes. It's pretty

fantastic. There's a great moment where a grenade gets into like an old can of paint and he kicks it into some room and you get this guy's defeated look when he realizes it's a grenade by his feet. I love that. I love a good like, oh mother kind of most. Yes. Totally, dude. This one's got another great one right here where Castle realizes like there's someone in an elevator still alive and he opens the throat. There's this big fat Irish guy on the floor and he just goes, oh, for fuck sake. Head explosion number three in this movie. One note on that. I would have preferred him to be in the toilet. Oh, yes. A big fat guy on the toilet, that's classic.

Reading the magazine. Boom, yeah, exactly. Like, pitched up like Jeff Daniels and dumb and dumber, feet off the floor. But yeah, then we get the bathroom beat down here between Castle and Lutie Bid and Jimmy. And this is, dude, Lutie Bid and Jimmy's just a bitter, dude. He's fucking biting Frank Castle's neck like a vampire. It's fucked up. He would punt him into the next county, like especially. Well, he starts to, he starts throwing him against walls into the toilet. which I do like toilet play.

I'm glad it's here. Absolutely. And into some mirrors as well. But so we get down to like the final show down here and we got a big gun standoff going on where it looks like they're all hanging out around like an emptied hot tub. Yeah. Which is what this looks like, which is weird. But they got one of those like New Age fire pits going. You know what I mean?

Like those are good. You know, with the glass stones and stuff. Those are fun. Sure. And so they're giving Castle the decision here, right? It's like, okay, the Donatelli family, the kid can get shot in the head and Julie Benz can shot in the head. Or they can live and your buddy Microchip can get shot in head. Oh, Micro.

Which is it? Oh, Micro. You don't have to finish, whatever you're going to say. Micro goes. But the choice is he has to do the shooting. He has to kill him. Oh, sure. That's fine.

That's cool. Whatever. It's fucking great because Castle, like, first of all, Microchip in this moment is like, Frank, she's a kid. I'm old. He makes it easier on Frank saying like, I'm cool with this. And now there's only one round left in the gun because Jigsaw took his gun and shot him in presumably body armor, body armor. Not looking too good for you, fat, so is what Jigsaw says to this man. He's correct. Right before. So Frank makes the decision right here. He shoots Loonie Bin Jim, which kind of sucks because I feel like that's not a exit.

Vin' Jim deserves, whatever. Everyone else is exploding. Come on. Exactly. But then fucking jigsaw shoots microchip right in the head, and it is a good gun special effect. It is weird watching Wayne Knight get put down like a sick dog. It's really, really unsettling still to this day.

Doesn't that happen at Space Jam? It's been a while. Bill Murray shoots him right in the head, yeah. I was actually curious, though, does he die in basic instinct or no? No, he does not. It's been forever. Zanza dies. Oh, right, because they're all at the end

they're running around and, okay, it's sunset, okay. Of the big men in that, to use jigsaw language, the fatsos of that film, there's two of them and Zunza is the one who bites it. Got it. But the southern

castle's really going to town on jigsaw here. He gets fucking impaled with a spike, which is awesome. And then this is a great castle. Let me put you out of my misery and throws this dude alive on a fire. With the skewer in, so he is, he's a kebab at this point.

He's a kebub, he gets kebub. It's the ugliest kebub you've ever seen in your life. A Robert Dobby kebob. Yeah, yeah. DeBob. Robert, Robert DeBob. I'll workshop and get back to you guys. Please do.

But then Castle, I guess just basically heralding like a new age for the Punisher or something. Like he just goes, this is just the beginning. Uh-huh. And I'm like, all right. Like, if you say so, Frank, it seems like the journey is already well underway, but whatever. I can smell the credits coming, Frank. Yes, exactly. But the best part of this is because she's in the movie and you need to have some kind of closure.

Julie Ben's like, he's going to walk away as the man with no name kind of a deal. And Julie Ben's like, you know, me and my husband, we argue about you all the time. He was a huge fan. So like. Yes. that's like being a big Michael Jordan fan and like while he's doing a dunk he kicks you in the head and kills you

yeah why not it's like the best way to go out it's like he uh Frank Castle signed your tits there but it was with a fucking arrow to your husband's head yeah huge fan yeah he was one of the

he thought you were one of the good guys so when the bullet went through his head was he like awesome I just got killed by my fatal. Sick. Oh, I got punished by the punisher. I always said, if I had to go out, I want to get punished by the punishment. This is the sickest way to go to heaven. And yeah, so it just ends with Dash Myhoff and Frank sort of walking out. He thinks he's, Myhofe, uh, soap thinks that he's about to go get a drink with Frank. And while he's just pontificating endlessly, Frank sort of gives

him the slip. And then, because this is the New York city we live in in this movie, which is also the New York City that is portrayed in Daredevil Born Again, to be honest. You can't walk fucking 10 feet in this time without getting mugged by somebody. But it is a fun it's a fun little cute ending. I think this is

funny. Oh yeah. For the last time, give me your wallet. Frank? Frank! Boom. Oh God. Now I've got brain splattered all over me which is the last line of this movie. L.O.L. I do love the shot too of you see Stevenson on the stairs

and you have the it's the cross with the Jesus saves in it and the Jesus part burns out and it's just Punisher saves I thought that was a pretty cool it's cool it's the closest you can get to like a bat

signal type shot at the end of a Punisher movie I guess but that is the end of the movie Rob Zombie starts up and you are just junk junk junker jugger jug through the rest of the credits no stinger seen at all of course but we'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts

and possible recommendations. Eric Siska. Yeah, no, it is a recommend. It's a lighter recommend. I don't love the movie. I feel like there could have been more emotionally there. I think once we're shooting

the 150th guy, it gets a little, not boring, but because the violence is good. The soundtrack is not so great. Hutchinson and all these. So there's issues with it, but it's a lot of fun at the end of day. And I love the lighting and I like what Lexi

Alexander did here. So it's a light recommend. There you go. Christopher Cabin. Yeah, very light recommend. I like all of the Punisher stuff. I like the action with the Punisher stuff. I do think any other like the Donatelli family drama I think is not done well or particularly moving. Nor do I think any of like the even like the background of the mafia stuff with a jigsaw and all that stuff. like maybe that would have been more interesting if you got me more of that stuff because you're spending so much time on Punisher

even though we are supposedly already know who he is when we start this movie essentially uh so you know I find all the extra stuff pretty bad but the the visual stuff Lexi Alexander with the action stuff it's great if she would like stuck with that stuff I think this would have been excellent but like I just

when it comes to any of the extra stuff I just felt this thing flatlined completely Steve Sadek Yeah, it's a movie This is only my second time through That I had fun with it last night I feel like You probably want to watch it every eight years

Like it's not exactly at every other weekend Kind of a movie Because it is kind of annoying at parts If it's in every other weekend movie For anyone that you got problems That's probably not doctor You need to go to the doctor But like I just on mute

This movie looks great This really looks great Stevenson you know what I mean Like his eyes are expressive as the punitive as the pun. They give him less to do, which is smart, not because he's bad, but like, because that's kind of the character. He's very cyphrous. They get that part of it. But yeah, it's the plots, the

machinations, the wall-to-wall dialects are awful. Just every single accent is worse than the last. But it's fun if you like carnage and I like carnage. There you go. Yeah, you know, I'll be the the one who goes a little above average here.

This is a solid recommendation from your old Uncle Andrew here. Oh yeah. You know, because all the stupid stuff, I find it very fun. Don't get me wrong. I don't think it's smart or savvy or slick. It's fucking stupid, but it works for me. And Stevenson

was an amazing Frank Castle. I think he did such a goddamn great job. It sucks that this was like, might even still be the biggest like Marvel-related failure. So Stevenson, of course, never got to Don the Be Skulled

T-shirt ever again, but you know, I don't know. I wasn't hot on this movie when I saw it when it came out, which I think was on like a bad, like fucking DVD rip or something. I definitely didn't go to the theaters, I don't think. But yeah, I don't know.

I was just happy as a clam getting down in the dirt, dumb as fuck with this movie and all the kills. And I'm sorry, that old lady. All the way. It's a fucking 180 of this old woman's head and the credits are barely finished like it's... That's a recommend

right there. Yeah, it's for me it starts and it doesn't stop and I just had a lot of fun but that is going to do it for this episode on Punisher Warzone as always if you want more we hate movies including getting episodes like this one commercial free head over to that sweet sweet Patreon y'all patreon.com slash we hate movies

every new episode of we hate movies that comes out featured same exact content same cut just minus them commercial breaks, baby. We also have, if you're listening to this, the week that it comes out in just a few days on Thursday, Chris

Cabin, we will have an all new Melro 210, is that correct? We will, and it will be the conclusion, question mark of Daddy Wars. Of course, Jim and Jack coming head to head finally in the final moments of this episode, but also a very good

and very steamy Melrose place. Absolutely. And last week, if you missed it, sure to go back and check out this month's once in a lifetime, our every other month Lifetime movie recap show everybody. We were talking about a real piece of standard

fare for Lifetime Entertainment, which meant it was like shooting fish in a barrel for us, but pocket dial murder was the movie. We had a lot of fun with that one. Dead-eyed Canadians as far as the eye could see. One of the best to ever do at Gene Hackman. We're still saluting him

on WLM with the conversation. Yes, that'll be that'll be coming out the 17th of this month. Great, great movie, awesome conversation. And again, he's the king. One of the absolute best to ever do it. An AD Steve Sadek that we just decided on, which is going to be kind of fun.

Gem and the Holograms. Long time coming on that show. Yes, that is right. Hell yeah. And Eric, who are we doing on the Glee Plaasper? There's a big guy this month. Yes, it's a big guy, you know. It's Newt Gunray, of course,

because we are talking about displace. disputed trade routes on the Gleaf Glossary and on, I guess, wait, what's that? CNN? Yeah, also. Wolf Blitzer's talking about it right now, dude, dude. That's right. Newt Gunnerway, of course, from the Phantom Menace is the first appearance of that character.

That's going to be a lot of fun. That's coming out, what is that, the 18th of this month. So, plenty of time to get ready for all this stuff on patreon.com slash we hate movies. We're also, one final thing, of course, don't miss out on our most recent sinkable commentary on David Fincher's The Game. We just got some very, weird

and I'm proceeding with caution news about David Fincher just today I don't know about that I don't know I will believe it when my butt is in the theater for that bit of news what's happening? David Fincher is supposedly directing a continuation of the Brad Pitt character for once upon

a time in Hollywood based off a script written by QT what just announced today dude so that seems like AI made up that headline so I don't know if that's actually real but we'll see anyway like always here next Tuesday

there's another piping hot episode of we hate movies coming out of the oven ready for you which you can again get commercial free on patreon dot com slash we hate movies Steve Sadek this is a packed month man what are we talking about next week he come to judge he come to judge he's shitting his pants finally oh god

guys guys you don't you are walking into hell you don't understand you are about to take your first steps into hell this is really one of the worst things you've ever watch. You better be right, Chris Cabin, because if I'm watching this for nothing, I'm going to be pissed off. I am so certain of this. This is from half court. This is easy. You are going to fucking despise this shit. Uh, so until next week, when he pooped the judge, I've been

Andrew Jupin, Steven Sadek. Eric Sis Kabbin. Take it easy. Thank you.