We Hate Movies - S15 Ep796: The Accountant

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

“I want real kids fighting each other!” - Chris, on the flashbacks On this week’s episode, we’re chatting about the nowhere-near-as-good-as-its-sequel assassin film, The Accountant. Couldn��t we have done this whole thing without all the flashbacks to them as kids? Did we need the Treasury Department cold on the Accountant’s trail the whole movie? Didn’t everyone want to yell, ‘No Touching,’ whenever we see Jeffrey Tambor’s character in prison? And how creepy is it that Ben draws faces on all those melons he’s going to shoot? PLUS: Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber? Really? The Accountant stars Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick, J.K. Simmons, Jeffrey Tambor, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, John Lithgow, Jean Smart, and Jon Bernthal as Brax; directed by Gavin O’Connor. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

this week on the program get out to the theater to see the sequel but this one stinks it's the accountant I'm Andrew Jupin Steven Seda Eric Siska Solomon Grundy

and we hate movies and we hate movies Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. This week, we are talking, 2016's The Accountant, directed by Gavin O'Connor. And as we've said elsewhere, this one, no bueno, accountant dose. Good time. Which I think is out in theaters either now or it's going to be. now, we're coming out pretty soon. Definitely, and I got it, by the way, so it definitely is.

Andrew and I saw it early at South by Southwest. The premiere, Ben was there. It was there. With this gigantic fucking head. Huge dude. Huge, unreal. That's why you can keep all the numbers in. It's such a huge head, you see.

I mean, the problem with this, and I imagine that's, that, I imagine the single, well, it would have to be better because this movie just trips over itself with the exposition of telling you what the fucking story, which you can get done in five to ten minutes and then have an accountant adventure.

and I would like the whole whatever John Lithgow thing and oh I'm fighting my brother whoops a doodle that's great that's a good movie yeah but I'm sorry but isn't this about being up I'm sorry I was shot it's about being accountant statistic yes accountistic yeah it is weird how we the movie both dances around and doesn't dance around him being high functioning autistic in this movie and that's part of it but it's just the way that it gets you you know informed about that for the character is through all these flashbacks of the dad being like, toughen up, fat body. Yes, and the flashbacks are so annoying and then seeing him as a kid flipping out. None of that is in the sequel thing. This is not really spoiler territory. It's more of a buddy cop comedy, kind of.

And I had a great time with that sequel. I actually, I've been thinking about this. I mean, now is not the time we don't have, I wouldn't have the votes for this, but I want to institute some new legislation. Okay, okay. It's an office that I would run. Okay.

Where, if you want to just put yourself in charge. Absolutely. If you want, because it's my idea, if you want to show, if you want to show a flashback of a character as a child in a movie, you have to file for a permit. And then like, you just send me the script. I'm like, oh, no, actually you don't need to do that. Because actually this line of dialogue here gets all that information out without having to flashback to him as a kid, did I. And then maybe we could have a movie, the accountant one that's like an hour and 45 minutes. That would be fucking set out of two hours and eight.

You're asking for like mini sag after to protest out your office, like all the kid actors. And then Union rules We have to swap them out to protest Like their brother has to come in for 10 hours They're all twins Yeah we can only protest like three hours at a time Then you're gonna swap in the other twin There's Marvel movies still being made

Disney's gonna buy your office and take it over Well I'm sure they'll buy it for a pretty penny And then Steve's all set Oh it's not going to him It's always a waste of time To cut to somebody as a kid Unless like that's what the movie There's movies about kids

Right go through things And then like the idea that an adult has to flash back to being a kid for you to understand what that adult's about is stupid. But here's what's funny and I think we've made fun of this before but I would take it a thousand times over one of what this movie does

which is the cutting repeatedly back kids. We always make fun of when a comedy starts and you see like the little comedian version of the character which is annoying in its own way. That would fall into my office's preview by the way. But it's always just the one though and it's at the start and we're not constantly going back.

And then you wouldn't have to have this, I'm sorry, embattled kid actor, try his best, slap it himself in the head and stuff. It's the worst parts of the autistic representation. Would you just cut out because you don't need it in the movie anyway? It's the main thing of autistic representation. If this movie was just straightforward about the information it was portraying, it would be so much quicker and so much better because we have this opening weirdos scene with you don't know who's, there's a big shootout. You don't know who's walking around doing it. Well, I kind of have an inkling. Okay.

Because I noticed the calculated steps. But it's actually not, that's not the accountant. This is J.K. Simmons. Yeah. Oh, right, right, right. This whole thing starts with, like, there's a police operation in progress, cops going into a building. There's a shootout going on.

You hear someone say something about, like, we need more people down here, but I'm going in or whatever. And you don't, you just see, like, the feet of people. And you don't see, the accountant is present in the scene. He is there. killing. He's upstairs. He's upstairs doing the killing. I was talking about his calculated steps because I thought it would be funny because he's an accountant.

Yeah, I got this. Sure. Calculated. But his take his steps and it reminded me a lot of the opening of Analyze this when everybody gets shot and, you know, he has a breakdown. Right. And it's, this is a similar breakdown he has here. But this movie also one, it does a really bad job at thinking it's hiding the fact that Affleck and Bernthal

are the brothers grown up. Why even hide it? I don't know. But then also, why even hide that J.K. Simmons is the guy... J.K. Simmons is the dude at the start of the movie and it hides J.K. Like, it turns out J.K. Simmons

knows everything about the accountant. You just can't find him. Why is that a hidden part of the movie? Wait, wait. Are you telling me... Okay, so you watched the opening of this movie. I did. And you weren't thinking the whole time... Who the fuck was that?

Who the fuck was... Whose P.O.V. was I on the whole time. God, I just can't fucking stop thinking about it. It's this mystery. I can't wait for it to be solved for me. And Ben Affleck is even on the screen yet. I can't even... I can't do two things at once. So that, yeah, just this opening thing or whatever And then it goes into the accountant title card

Which is not great And then it goes, we're still in flashback mode Because now we're in Hanover, New Hampshire in 1989 At the Harbor Neuroscience Center Which is especially later It turns into the Xavier school I'm sorry, I'm sorry folks I wouldn't portray it that way

The accountant portrays it that way This is computer girl This is assassin boy Yes Yeah well it does Oh, you're very special, all of you. Oh, hello. Oh, yeah, he can start fires, and that's a special power.

I'm going to call you the accountant, and you, the accountant. And, well, no, there's another, there's a few accountants in the next. Well, I guess, you know what? I'm going to just open an accounting firm. That's pretty good. Do well around tax season. By the way, get that shit together, guys. You got it?

Oh, that's right. It's time to file. It's past due now. It's past due at this point. Oh, you're listening to this one. out. I hope you filed an extension. You're on your way to El Salvador, baby. But yeah, so it's just

his parents and like, you know, the mom is like receptive. You have this guy to the doctor or whatever telling, you know, like your son's not, you know, nothing wrong with you son. He's actually quite special and he's probably a genius and all this great. And he's doing the puzzle very quickly, but he kind of freaks out because one of the pieces

is missing. And his brother, who could that be? Helps him by giving him the final piece. Yeah. And also, we should say that he's doing the puzzle upside down, like he's not using the image on it, and then you see the underside of the table as he puts the final piece in, and it is the famous

Muhammad Ali photo there. Oh, I didn't even get that. Yeah, he's doing it upside down. Yeah, because the guy is saying, the doctor is like, you know, things like loud noises, you know, can affect him or whatever, so like in controlled environments, is that the other thing. And the dad very much wants to throw him into the deep end, like, well, life's got loud noises

in it, so fuck you. We're going to beat it out of this boy, as well, I've got an Indonesian martial arts expert on the dial ready to fuck this boy up. I've got basically a bunch of people that, you know who trade Bruce Wade? It's that, but it's, uh... He's not going to hunt for no fruity flower or nothing, all right?

He's just going to fight people. We don't have Bruce Wayne money. Are you fucking serious? And, uh, as you might suspect, this guy's parenting practices makes the wife leave. Yeah, pretty quick. That's such a great shot. Maybe I'm jumping ahead a little.

I mean, it's in a different flashback, but who cares? It's all the same, yeah. The wife does leave. Leaves on Christmas, by the way, that's tough. That's a rough one. Brackson giving her the finger. Yeah, pretty funny. Pretty nice little stinker moment.

But the other thing we learn in this first flashback here is he uses the Solomon Grundy nursery rhyme as his like centering thing. I know what was that about? I didn't know any of this nursery rhyme stuff. It's just a nursery rhyme that I only, I don't know anything about. other than the fucking Batman villain. The name is scary, right? Sounds like a guy that comes and rips your teeth at it. I think that's why he used him as a villain.

Yeah, there was a badman villain called Salman Grunny and he was a big fucking monster guy. Maybe that's what I was thinking of. Yes. Yeah. It could have been. Born on a Monday, down in a Tuesday, something, something by Wednesday. I think Thursday. And Friday I'm in love.

No, wait. No, no, he was running Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You're still wrong. Ah, damn it. But the police were on his back, right? No, no, all right, fuck, fuck. But so we then flash forward 20 years later, 20 minutes south of Chicago, we're told, and this is, we're introduced to Affleck as Chris, the accountant, and I like this scene.

He's meeting with a couple who's really taken a bath with the tax payments, and the wife has to have this horrible line about, like, well, maybe just this year we'll put our taxes owed on the credit card and folks at home, this is what it's like to live in fucking America. It's crazy. And, like, this woman really nails the desperation. They're like, maybe just this one. Here's a question. Would you rather kind of get reamed on your taxes?

Because this is the choice they have. They're going to get reamed on their taxes. Yes. Or they're going to do well on their taxes. Make some money back probably even. But then four assassins come to your house and you watch like grown men die and like your truck gets totally fucked up. But I'm keeping my house and I'm not going to jail.

Yeah. The second one. Okay. Yeah. So watch those grown men die. That's how that's how fucking desperate people. people can get in this country. I'd rather watch

four dudes be executed on my farm right in front of my face that I have to deal with the fucking IRS. Living in America today, Steve. I mean, that's just what happens now. And bodies are good for crops. A little bit, like a little flesh. You know what?

I saw that Children of the Corn. That is pretty good. Yes, it's there. But, you know, human beings are fertilized. Sure, sure. But he, you know, he's a math genius and he basically figures out like, oh you do you sell stuff from your house that means it's a home office and all this

exactly all these tax loopholes it's like how big do you think your workspace is and they're like oh 200 square up up up up yeah he's giving them the thumbs up go higher on that and he's like 300 square feet we're supposed are you to do you want us to lie um are you serious but why why dude literally everyone else does it now well yeah that's the point here's the thing i would never don't don't look into it if someone it helps you out in taxes just buy it I'm a nice fruit basket. Send him a bottle of wine. Coming to my house and shoot guns.

No. Now, again, I really appreciate what you did, pal. Here's a nice bottle of whiskey. Thank you. I didn't expect him to take him up on the office. To be honest. It's an invitation. It looks like it wasn't going to happen.

The guy is initially like, you know, there's some good fishing out on my property there. You come out fishing. He's like, I don't fish. And he's like, well, what do you do? I shoot. Well, I guess you can come out, shoot some melons there on. the property instead. What? Oh, that's great. There's a great moment here

where, like, after he helps them or whatever, he goes back in the office and the secretary had ever sit at the desk and she's like, something, something, uh, oh yeah, you know, my daughter, like she makes some line to like set him up with, uh, her daughter and he just goes, nice seeing you. Like, walks in his office. We should say he is doing a little bit of a something. Oh, yeah. He's very much of a something. It's, uh, the way he speaks, you know, is modulated a certain way. It's, very, very, very, very, very, very, he's doing. He's very, very, he's very, very, he's very, very, he's very, he's very, he's very, he's very, he's very, he's, he's, very precise kind of talking not moving his face

he's doing quite a lot with that which is Ben Affleck style by the way and I like Ben Affleck fine I actually think that he does good here because he doesn't try to do too much it's not over the top because if he went like because he can't do like a big performance

like you know what I mean like you can't be playing at like Jeremy Strong and the judge exactly also written by this screenwriter of this movie as I found out last week much to my chagrin it's fine but also Ben Affleck as a math genius, I'll never I'll never buy it. I'm never buying

him autism or no. Because that's Matt Damon for you, right? Exactly. I think they know that, Steve, because there's not much accounting going on here. There's like one big montage of him writing numbers on walls. Okay, first of all, I'm sorry. But let's go to the

other universe in where there's much more accounting. Oh my God. More fucking accounting in the account. We'd be fucking yelling about it if there was too much accounting, dude. I feel like in this one, there's just enough. I'm not saying it has to be wall-to-wall accounting. That's not what I'm asking for.

What I'm asking for is if you're doing this like, oh my God, he's done accounting for the fucking, you know, drug dealers of every sort. I want to see those, like, the stuff that's weird and funny. Like, that's what I want to see. And you just see in pictures like, I'm hiding. I'm hiding. It's a fair point.

I can't see Ben Affle's face. I want to see him balance his Alcada's books, you know? That's a weird thing. Maybe pop down to the Houthis and figure that. You're spending way too much money on Seinfeld DVDs. You like this much, KFC? Wow, that's a lot of pornography. Wait, hold on.

Did you plan that bombing from your house? Oh, that's a home office. You can write that off. They're filing for taxes in the United States. Oh, wait a minute. You put those flight lessons on your personal credit card? Oh, we can take those right off. Oh, actually, a deduction for not learning the landing portion.

How big is your lab in Bogota? And in what part of your house is it? We cut to Washington, D.C. This is where we're introduced to Cynthia Dye Robinson as Marybeth Medina. She's working for the Treasury Department and is called in by one Mr. J.K. Simmons as Ray King, part of the Treasury Police. Someone needs to look at this. If there's a C plot in your movie, maybe you don't need the C plot.

For sure. I just love the idea of that there's someone at your job named Director King. Oh, there's pretty cool. All right. Pretty cool. But also, like, Why does there have to be two? Yes.

Why can't it just be either this lady or J.K. Simmons, because, like, J.K. Simmons, so much of this movie is him being like, you got those reports for me? I'm just waiting in my office for reports. Because that's who he is, like, post, I mean, I forget, this is after Whiplash, I think. I'm almost positive. Four years after Whiplash, or one year after Whiplash.

After that, he's going to be that character. I mean, I would say after fucking Spider-Man, he's going to be that character. But even more, after Whiplash, that's all you get. Right. You bring him in to be the boss. And to humiliate. Mary Beth Medina here with her past shoving shit in her face

and this is sort of exposition for no reason about this character because her past does not come up in this or the sequel. It's irrelevant to any decision she has to make in this movie whatsoever other than the fact that like he's like blackmailing her. Well, yes, but it's like she got in trouble like as a youth blah blah blah blah blah and he's like

threatening to send her like back to jail or whatever it is and like you've sort of gleaned like that's why she is so like tried into like the laws, the letter which is actually more in the second movie of her being like, you guys are just killing people? And I'm like, yeah, that's why we're fucking here. Mary Beth. Well, that's

I was shocked to hear that she's in the second one because I'm like, they bring her in and do nothing if they're in this movie. Why would you bring her back to do nothing? Yeah, strap in for more nothing. Oh, great. Chris, what's awesome? Chris, what's less than nothing? Negative, negative. But it is amazing

though, like, all we set up is she's going to be the accountant's new person. He calls to arrest people. Okay. Pretty much. Great. And that's kind of like what the second movie.

Actually, not really. And yes, again, it would be probably boring if we got to know this lady's life. But that's what you set up. You set up her versus him. And it's mostly him just being in the room. Here's where you could have more of Maribeth Medina's life and her being cold on the trail of the accountant at all times. If I wasn't flashing back to these kids street fighting in Paris and all this other stuff that's going on. and we're also cutting in to Jeffrey Tambor at parts

and I'm like, no thanks except for his torture scene which is really funny, pretty good, dude, probably because I watched this and the judge back to back yesterday this was the biggest laugh, him being tortured in a chair, it's fucking great. Well, also you put Jeffrey Tambor in, I mean, this is kind of, I don't know where the flashbacks are because they're everywhere this movie right, yeah.

But there's flashbacks to them in prison And I see Jeffrey Tambor No touching, no touching. It's arrested development again. You got to give him like a skullet or something. Yes. You know, because he just looks like like a rest of the movement.

He's a mustache. He ends up being the real father figure to the accountant and teaches him accounting. The dark accounting, that's right. There's always money in the banana state. You understand that, Ben Affle? And by Banana Stan, I mean the Colombian cartel. I mean, they are in the banana trade.

But yeah, like, Simmons just has this woman dead to rights or whatever he's got all like the file photos of whatever including he knows that she's got like a sexy gun tattoo on her thigh or an ass or whatever it is nice and he's like 45 six no actually it's a cult whatever oh right yeah pretty great and then there is like this is the accountant here this is the account there Al Qaeda this is a do you like puzzles uh yeah you know who survives this kind of clientele he wants to know are the accountant with Harvey Weinstein Here he is with

Momar Gaddafi You see in the background there They're actually taking down the pole At that exact moment this photo is taking Yep It's him and James Tobac right here Oh and here's a fun one with him and Brett Ratner In Israel, wow

That's son of a bitch He's everywhere So Simmons's whole thing is he retires in seven months She has seven months to figure out the identity of the accountant, or he is going to send her to jail. Sure, yeah. All righty then, bye. How we go to jail?

Why, why, why? But I guess this will motivate her. This is what good bosses do is motivate under fear of jail. And you know what? You want to do something for the evil guys in your audience. The evil guys are like, hey, why doesn't a man have power over that woman right there? What's going on here? Why the fuck?

Come on. I need. And of course, J.K. Simmons, in for the save. He is controlling her, or he's going to put her in the big house. She could just be a plucky young, new executive. Yeah, why does this threat have to happen? And she's a woman of color, and it's like this weird, like, she's got gang ties or whatever is going on there. And also it's a weird thing where he's like, you know, you're so fucking great.

Like, why aren't you a field agent? And she's like, well, being an analyst is kind of more my speed. The pay is fine. Or you're, fuck that. You're getting out. You're getting all sorts of danger. Let's go right now. And I want you to shoot him.

That's right. Murder on the case. I know I want you to fall in love with the accountant as much as I had. He changed my life and made me a bedroom man. That's true. We're going to take those glasses off of you. We're going to try to get you hooked up with the account. Well, look at that.

You're prettier than you thought. You're not just a stupid bet. See, he said no to the secretary lady trying to set him up, but we're going to do this work. God damn. I want this man married. So we see a little bit of how Chris leads his home life, including, I know those dudes a precise motherfucker pulling into this garage. way too fast.

Oh, he's just zipping in. Dude, like, the door's barely open. But remember, he's, he's calculating all the angles, the velocity. There's all, because all of life is numbers. You don't know it, but, like, even there's numbers in the letters I'm saying. Like, there's a certain, like, every word has numbers in it because it's like a word, W-O-R-D. Right. This is four numbers.

Nice, dude. That's a real Q-N-on-Shay you're working with over there. I'm just trying to understand his mind, right? So he zips it in there. Yep. He knows exactly how to park that, have the garage go down and not clip the back of the Ford F-150, which is, I think, maybe because it's the most popular car in America. Sure. I don't know how that happened.

And I'll be honest, he does something that I'm not a big fan of breakfast for dinner. Not a big fan of breakfast. I used to be a fan of it as a kid, and nowadays I'm kind of like it every once a while. It depresses me because we didn't have money, we'd have breakfast for dinner. Oh, well, there. You know, just like, grab an eggs because that's what we're having. You can scramble an egg no matter how high or low the sun is. In this economy, breakfast for dinner, I don't know.

Got to know some. Eggs are $20. That sounds like two different meals. I don't know about that. Dude, we're going to turn into fucking Johnny and Cobra Chi just frying bologna for breakfast every fucking day of his life. That's what you should be doing. I don't care for breakfast for dinner. You know, it's just, I love eggs.

It's great. It's a rarity. It's a rarity. It's a rarity, but I do like it occasionally. But to tell, I mean, I don't. Obviously, the whole thing is to show you, he's weird. And that's autism. Stop trying to get back to the movie.

Let's go through your breakfast for dinner. What are you making breakfast for dinner? Because there's a lot of breakfast options out there. And I'm curious what you are doing. What I'm doing? For dinner. This is the get-to-no-cris-cabbin segment. This is part, we start in this?

Yep, yeah. Here's a theme song. There it is. Go ahead. Scrambled eggs, usually a good piece of toast. You want a sourdough, I think, usually. One has butter. The other, you know what?

You can go with a jam. more like with the cheese spread, if you so wish. I don't know if you're going that decadence. Sometimes you'd like a dry toast. So you're not doing the pancake or anything like that. Sometimes I will. There's varieties. There's so much to do.

Here's the ultimate question. Serial. Serial. I usually not for dinner. There you go. That's good. That means you're allowed. No, like a yogurt with a mooseley ever occasionally.

Cereal for me, when I'm a high as a kite, like 1130.30. That's usually. That's a bowl of cereal there. That's usually when you want. A bowl of cereal. Maybe another bowl of cereal. There's usually not another good reason to be having cinnamon toast crunch. If you're eating that for actual breakfast, people would be like, what the fuck are you doing?

That's all sugar. I've been known to do it, dude. But yeah, so he's got his little things of bacon, some scrambled eggs, a little bit of a little silver dollar pancakes. He's made there. But it's all perfect. Like the eggs are like in this mold. Everything has to be numbers and circle is a number two. That's true.

It's a bunch of numbers. Precise. Ah, yes, Circle is a number two. The forgotten Sesame Street song. Yeah, it's zero. Every time something like this happens, I do kind of want like something to come across the screen with a big thumbs up and says, that's autism.

Well, he goes into the autism room, you understand. His autism chamber. This is cool. This is like, I like the idea of self-infliction, inflicted. I mean, yeah, for sure. It's like with the Catholic thing, right? Like you hit yourself. Oh, the Cato Nine Tales on your back there.

Exactly. You punish yourself. In order, I don't know, fill in the rest. Sure. But it's like the bright light, the heavy metal music, and he's got this wooden, like, chair leg that he's just... Baton or something. We're rolling it down our shin.

Yeah. It's about sensory stuff that I know. Again, I have not done research on... None of us have. Let's just say this is a thing he does in the movie, and he's, like, meditating and whatever. And then the scene's over with them, there's more movie to talk about. Maybe listen to the system of a down in there, you know?

Oh, there we go. loud music of something. Yeah, I don't appreciate it. Yeah, it's not good. The loud music, this whole thing, but we should say it triggers this is the Christmas memory. Oh, yeah. He thinks about that during the meditation of mom leaving on Christmas. Oh, there it is, yeah. Because the funny thing is like, later

when he meets Anna Kendrick, he's just, she's like, well, what's your deal? He's like, my dad made me train with these people and I was really good at it. That's it. That's it. That's it. I got it. And it takes 30 seconds. It's it. It's, you know, I don't need to see him again as a little street fighter kid

brawling with all these boys we'll get to that we'll just talk about it now if you're gonna show me the beginning of it I want to see a little kid rumble don't tease me with a great time here you lazily show that in the movie I want the full thing

I want like teeth on the fucking curb we want that this guy was trying to shut down the kid stuff right you're all committee sir oh yes well all right you know what you're gonna ruin little kid fighting for everyone oh then we'll never forgive you Yeah, there, I mean, maybe there is a guy like you out there that cut that.

I was going to say, said you have to trim some of this out. The trouble's already started. If we don't have kid fights in regular movies, because like what? One of those Marvel movies, maybe we get a kid fight. Maybe one. And it's probably an alien shit. And that doesn't count. I want real kids fighting each other.

No alien kid. I want two kids fighting. I want a kid kneeing another kid in the nose and breaking the nose. Yes, a squirrein of blood hitting the camera lens. It's the last time I'll mention it was episode, but watch Come guy. It's 60% kids beating the shit out of each other. It's awesome. Which is yeah. It's fucking great. So anyway,

Chris takes the farmer up on the offer there and we see him using this insane high powered rifle to shoot these melons and the farmer's like, this boy must be crazy. Those melons are probably a mile away. If this dude, you barely know this guy. He helps you out of your taxes.

He shows up with an anti-aircraft gun. You're like, oh my God. And he takes the melons. Are they providing the melons or he's bringing in his own? You got a B.Y. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. He brings his own melons. But then you're personifying them by drawing faces on them. The faces is scary.

Mother, they have faces on the melons. Well, that looks like me. Oh, we got the little mustache and everything. It's like a perfect, like, boardwalk caricature of him. Is that melon wearing my lawn mowing hat? I never wrote a skateboard overalls. Uh-huh, that's Kennedy, that's Reagan. And that's me.

Oh, no. Oh, what's he using? Oh, that's the gun from her racer, isn't it? Mother, he's got a super gun out here. I think you can shoot an angel with that gun, I believe. Oh, but he does have a guy. He's like, not on my best day, mother. And then Chris just fucking nails these three melons right in a row.

It's awesome. It's cool. Again, yeah, I would. Then you got to be like, oh, Chris, we're moving tomorrow. Yeah, we're selling the farm. Even after all, your helpful tax advice. Because he's just showed up there This is not like a one time again

Usually with something like this You're like come out, I'll buy you dinner He's not showing up every week Mother he's back You can't He's got that big anti-aircraft gun again You cannot ask him to leave No you can't

You can't You can squat He can start living in your house Yep he's moving right in What are you gonna do about it? Now I live here You don't have an anti-aircraft gun Do you?

I didn't think so I'm going to bring over my airstream I'm just going to set it up The storage facility This is where you are introduced to the famous account Airstream, which definitely makes it to part two don't worry about it. Better. Oh, yes. But this

thing's great because this is inside this huge storage facility is this Airstream trailer where he's got the guns, he's got the money, he's got the different currencies, the passports, the works of art, we got a Renoir on the wall, we got a Pollock on the ceiling. Action comics number one.

Don't drove me crazy. But he's just, later in the movie, he's like in a rush, he grabs this thing like it. It's like this week's New Yorker. He's just slam it. You know what he doesn't get when he's escaping the Luke Skywalker's

lightsaber to get that? I love this is what the movie's like you know these guys that are on the spectrum they love Star Wars, they love this, they love that. That's the weird part because later in the movies they're like, oh you know it doesn't make sense. It only adds up to like a million dollars and all the money that

he's getting. It's like maybe he accepts payment in other currencies. So like you're on the phone with fucking Gaddafi right? He's like I need you to do my taxes. He's like, okay I'm going to need action comics number one. Now I got to go out and go to fucking Sotheby's? Like, I think it's the other way, like, what do you have for

me? Like, I'll kill these guys or whatever. How about money? Goddafi, what do you have laying around the house? Do you have any artwork? You can just hand it over to me. The Pollock on the ceiling above a bed, that speaks volumes. What is he doing? Is he trying to add his own signature

recreating? Laying down on the bed seeing how much he could propel himself. Recreating it on a lady's chest. Let me tell you, I'll tell you right now. Yes. Not for all the seamenics in the world. You blast on that high. You're getting the fucking roof of a trailer.

I don't think so. Worked in scary movie. Listen, Okay. Yeah, you do. Right. I forgot it worked in scary movie. That's a scientific study.

And it would have the force, too. That's just incredible force there. Well, you know, he's got these powers, this guy. I notice a cool little detail right here this time around. So he lays down on the bed that's in the trailer and he's looking up at the Pollock. Do you notice what t-shirt he's wearing? No, what is it? It's an evil-ceneval t-shirt.

And I just thought it was cool. because Evil Knievel was a daredevil and Ben Affleck played Daredevil. Oh, you should put that on the IMDB trivia and I will thumb it down. Somebody probably already has it. How would you want to bet on that one? Oh, yeah, I didn't look at the trivia. I did. It's not there. Oh, damn it.

You could break that news. But to your thing about having to go out to Sotheby's and get Action Comics number one, isn't it like, it's like known the people that have that still, right? It's such a limited item or whatever. How many do you think are still in circulation? Oh, I have no idea. Less than 10? Is it that kind of a rarity? But it's also like the, it's that, but it's also the conditions or the near mintness.

Sure. And this thing, obviously, it drove me nuts. It's like, it's printed like it was, yes. It's so bright and so vibrant. It's like printed on paper that wasn't invented in the 40s or whatever. Sunlight never touched this thing. Yes, exactly. I also like, so you're like, oh, yeah, well, I got this car bombing next week,

but I got to go to fucking New York and pick up an Edward Hopper painting for my fucking account. Christ. Sitting there doing like the panels holding it out. Like, yeah. Yeah, they stole my ideas. No, I mean, you can have it. You can have the lightsaber. What are you going to?

Ooh, Gaddafi money. I have a couple guys need to be taken out. Also, while he lays down right here, it's another, he falls asleep. So it's just in time to wedge in another flashback. And then this is where we meet Jeffrey Tanbor and him teaching him all the dark accounting stuff from prison. It's something I do not need in the movie. Like, it's just, it's so wild how much. fat is on this movie when like it could be a nice lean cool like because what we're trying to do

is a Jason Bourne thing by the way Ben I know I know you saw that movie like we're trying to do a cool Jason Bourne thing do you know uh just a curiosity really quickly um I just thought it was neat when this movie ended on Max it was like would you like to watch any of these next and indeed this movie came out the same year as that final Jason born really still never seen it which is people it's it's okay it's fine I like Gilrose I'm curious to to watch it. It's definitely worth a watch of you like those Born movies. Yeah. But I'm also the guy that really like the Jeremy Renner one,

so I don't know if I can speak accurate. It's okay. Okay, I missed it up. I never watched either of them. I never watched the Gilroy one, which is the Jeremy Renner one. I don't know who directs. I think it might be Greengrass again. Oh, did Paul Greengrass come back for Jason Bourne? It's just what it's called in 2016. But anyway, I thought it's funny that the county comes out. And it's very him borning it up. And Matt

was like, uh-uh. One more round for me, buddy. I'm almost certain. renters the Gilroy and I think Gras did come back for porn but the I mean this is I mean we do this all the time now everything must be turned into a reveal so something like Jeffrey Tambor who

I don't care about nope and like I don't think anybody would yeah it's like it's doing all this and like it's supposed to be a big reveal that do you know what happened to him I'm like I don't care the guy was in jail I assume he's either still in jail or out like what the fuck well they show what happened to

it's worth seeing It is pretty great So Ben wakes up He's got a phone call from his handler here And she wants him to take this case Which is John Lithgow And his robotics business And you get a hint of

Sort of what's going on here Because this woman on the other end of the phone With an English accent Says things like heavy sigh Instead of just So you sort of gleaned that it's a computer talking to you But they don't highlight that Until the very X-Men end of it all

It's also really annoying because, like, it's this cool thing. To Chris's point, it's like, he works with the worst people in the universe. Fucking terrorist and drug dealers. Like, exciting, exciting. It's like, what if I took something with John Luthgow and his accounting, his robotics firm? I'm like, well, what the fuck? And Gene Smart. And I love Gene Smart.

Sure. Shut the fuck up. It's not a drug dealer or a terrorist king. No, it's just we need some corporate accounting here to sniff out what's going on. It's like, you just missed the exciting one. That was last week. This week it's robotics only. That's true.

I would like him to go to ISIS, figure out why the caliphates not doing well. But no, I do actually agree. I feel like it should be a more exciting case. Yes. I mean, again, I love Lithgow. I love Gene Smart. I even like Anna Kendrick.

How about Lithgow as a terrorist or something? Oh, Jim. Like a happy-go-lucky. Death to America. Yeah, he's a domestic terrorist maybe, you know? So, yes, this is Gene Smart as Rita and Lithgow as Lamar, Blackburn. brother and sister here.

Sure. Whatever you say, movie. You want to call him Lamar Blackburn? You got it, dude. And John Lithgow is Lamar Blackburn. L-O-L. And it's just this thing where it's like, well, we've been doing the books for years and everything's been fine, but we hired this woman and she's

very small and she found this an accounting problem. Well, it's Gene Smart and this other guy who has an amazing fucking off-screen, but you get what's going on death later in the movie. But he's like the accountant for this firm. and this guy's getting all indignant because he's like I have worked here for 15 years with John Lithgow and fucking Affleck is just like oh

I will need the accounting records for all 15th of the last years I'm already sniffing up this guy's crooked he asked for 10 years and then he found out this guy was CFO for 15 years so he wants the full 15. And then we also get we get John Bernthal somewhere around here in like Zurich. Zurich yes with Dewey Capital Oh this guy

It's kind of it's an interesting again this is a different movie whatever he's doing, where it's like, I'm, you know, you're defrauding your investors or whatever, and like, I'm going to kill you if you don't do this thing. Pretty much. And it's like which company and it's like, you're going to have to stop with all of them. Exactly. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you which company hired me, so you have to stop shorting all of these companies. And he is just like, this is what Bernthal is great at, like, doing that whole like,

oh, you think you're so tough, yeah, sure, like, go grab that gun. And he's just like smacking the guy. and it's a smack that's, like, better than a gunshot, you know? Really high hair here for Bernthal. Big, big. It is Seinfeldian. It is. It is Jerry season like six.

What's the deal with quaffs? But, yeah, this is this living robotics is the company, and they do three major things, consumer electronics, medical prosthetics, and basically drone technology. They don't say the D word in this movie, but it's drone technology. Oh, yeah, baby. It's what we're dealing with here. Gowse sort of like offering is anything you need of course anything I'll get it for you mr. accountant and we're showing like the prosthesis work and he's like look what I'm doing I'm

fantastic yes I'm giving people a noodle lease on life you see yes not evil at all you couldn't be crooked no way I dare you put me in front of a judge why would I a huge actor be in this role get out of here accountant we don't want you anymore don't you understand I love that slap him with the business section he kind of does do that a little bit later the movie. But so Chris comes back, he's like, all right, I'll be here first thing in the morning to start the job. He goes back to this conference room. Now

there are all these, all the records that he asked for out and all these boxes around the room. There's Anna Kendrick sleeping at the table. Yeah, you've got to love your job, lady. Sleeping at work, that sucks. She just explains that I was the one that found the error, so I wanted to work with you. I don't work with anybody. And she kind of is like, she wants

to ask this dude's D pretty quickly. Immediately. He's just shutting it down, you know. Left and right, she's like, oh, well, there's some donuts on the table here if you want some breakfast. I don't eat donuts. It's fucking awesome. I don't eat donuts. Would you like to eat me? Sorry. I'm sorry.

It's your bed afflick again. We get a fucking pointless press conference with J.K. Simmons or he's just like, oh, here's Mary Beth. She's working on the case. And now, back to the movie. Right. I guess that was trying to

show her good agency. Like she's going to handle the presser. He's trusting her question mark you do see like in the same cutaway from the main character of the movie she then goes and she's talking to Homeland Security and they have a video of Chris or something and it's this it's security footage

from the raid at the beginning of the movie can we talk about the email real quick it's so shitty my god at one point in the movie she does like a crop of like the side of his head oh yeah and this emails it to someone saying like facial recognition ASAP

exclamation point exclamation point exclamation. Yes. That'll make it work faster. The more exclamation points to see. Yeah, I thought that was a really poor email. I do, like, these bits are like the invention parts in mystery science theater. It's like, I want to hit the fucking skip button. Yep. Let's just

keep fast-a-forward in. Well, sirs, what we have here is... And now back to the movie. Don't worry. We'll give her a bunch of exposition at the end of it, and then we're at credits. They have something, they mention like, oh, this assassination or whatever, the shootout was going on.

It's the Gambino crime family. Little Tony involved. This guy, I love this guy. Mary Beth, what have you gotten yourself into? He's fucking like talking to the computer. Do you know what this guy is? He killed Rigotoni Gambino. And there's all this stuff about, you know, all these alias he's been using, which, you know. They're all names of famous mathematicians.

And autistic people like Laris Carroll, et cetera. sure the the iroliest of iroll is like she's like she finds out guy number one who i never heard of some math but he's like the prince of mathematics and it's like lou carroll like maybe that's the name it's like maybe louis carroll i'm like you know who fucking you don't need to google who louis carroll is you know who we but all the all the old timey photos of him he's not making eye contact hansy's kind of an accountant they're portraits they're paintings doesn't matter dude this is what her research is turning up. Of course.

But so we have a really awkward scene with Anna Kendrick and Ben Affleck where they are having lunch and she's clearly like she wants, she's the perky-pokey wants to talk to everybody and he just wants to sit there and eat his lunch quietly, you know, and she's like

oh, dented steel thermos, huh? How'd you do that? I'm like, lady, just give up. Just go go back to the cafeteria, go eat in your car. Stop bothering this guy. I don't know. He's 6'4. He looks like he could throw me around. Coolabatch.com. You're fine. It's Ben Afflicks.

Are you fucking? It's a fair point. Well, just wait for the sequel also. Okay. Oh, yes, that's right. Oh, he's fucking? Oh, good. Sort of. Not really. So then they get talking about, yes. They get talking about like art and whatever,

and she's like, oh, my dad likes four dogs playing poker, blah, blah, blah. He's very funny here. He's like, I like dogs playing poker too, because dogs would never bet on things. it's incongruous I like incongruity it's just funny that the guy has a Pollock in his car

and he's she's trying to shit on dogs playing poker and then she has to reverse course that happens twice she shits on something else that he likes

and she's like oh no it's it looks good on you though or like whatever it is do you like the original Star Wars I have the I have a lightsaber

in my house Luke Skywalker's original lightaber it's in my trailer what you heard me this is where we get Chris Cabin's

Chris Cabin's favorite scene here's the accounting he literally rolls up his sleeves to get into some account this is actually a good seat like I actually like the way it rolls I like all this stuff and like I like him working

and I like the mysteries because I don't know anything about fucking accounting so you can do whatever you like if you like a thing of Ben Affleck like running numbers and looking over charts and whatnot you got to watch that educational

voyage of the Mimi that oh I've already seen that fucking thing C.T. Manville did. He's helping that old-ass grandfather of his. Look at all the charts and ocean. They don't dedicate themselves. So the Voyage of the Mimi was a thing that we had to watch in grade school. Hold on. That's not Drew Carey's lady on that show. Maybe they call the Voyage of the Meaty the one where Mimi went on vacation. I used to take a cruise. It's a thing where you're not talking about that? No, I'm not. I'm trying to tell you what I'm talking about, which is a Ben Affleck little kid miniseries thing that had an educational component to it. So, like, we watched this in grade school.

Like, in science class, you watched, like, the episode. And it's about, like, he plays this kid, C.T. Granville, whose grandfather's like a boat captain. And they go out in New England doing, like, oceanography kind of stuff. And then at the end of every episode, you'd have this supplemental thing that would be like, here's what they learned in the episode. So now we're going to learn about ocean stuff. And it just starred Ben Affleck. Like, it's the weirdest thing. They, like, they get kicked off the boat at one point.

the grandfather's like dying on an island or something and there's something about like surviving in the wild skills now that we've been mutinyed I don't remember exactly what is but I just have this memory of like the grandfather's in a tent like not doing too hot if I have to

my preferred early Ben Affleck is the Families in Crisis steroid problem this is even before it's before he rips the sink off the wall I'm pretty sure because he's a real baby in it it's on YouTube his steroid freak out when at the end he's just chugging pills and slamming his shoulder into a wall it's pretty great that's how you do it dude that makes it go faster this will make it kick in faster he's good at anger

that's always been the little thing especially in the early that because him and daze confused it's just him like yelling like oh yeah fucking serious even when he was working a casual male at uh oh yeah that guy had some problem he's a big dude and like you know it's like one of those things where it's like he's a big hulking monster it's like before you could really put in action movies because he's too young that a baby face he just looks like asshole and he did have asshole face for a while

I'm all right big time argue he's still sort of up to an including accountant too like looking at him in this movie if I was walking up to this guy I'd be oh there's going to be a nightmare whenever conversation's going to happen and it is dude you don't want to see the accountant coming around the corner

I just hate this haircut oh it's a bad hair back haircut it's a bad bad Yeah. Really short, but not like crew cut. But just like no style or definition to it at all. You can set your watch to it. It's calculated.

Because him and his brother are opposites. You see, his brother's haircuts really tall. Sure, sure, sure. His haircuts very short. But this is just like you took like a head shaver and just did the one setting and did your entire head like that is basically his haircut. Not great. Yeah, he rolls up his sleeves, gets into some accounting work, does it. It's, I love the shots of him throwing the.

used up markers into the garbage can. I guarantee you, even if you're hired as a special consultant, you go to some robotics company or wherever and you start you get a marker out and you start writing on the glass walls. Oh, they're coming for you. Hey, hey! You're not like, you're done. I was yelling at you.

Yeah. Excuse me. Hi. Hey. What are you doing? Do you have clearance to be writing on that window? I didn't think so. Someone like throwing paper in front of you with a pen. Is that Campbell soup you're eating? Get that the fuck out of here. We're Brecrosso company.

There is a moment here that I really love towards the end of the montage. He does a little dance a bit and it kind of just, he looks like the gopher and catty shit. He's dancing in his little hole. And like fucking Anacendra comes in, sees all this math. Get a fucking bucket for this lady. Oh no, my calculations are being wiped away by your fluids. You thought Voyage of the Mimi took place on the ocean. Give me a ship.

All this math There's so much math So many numbers Me and my grandfather wrote her C for years And then one day my grandfather got sick And we were on an island Off of the coast of her vagina And he passed away

And then we did numbers We thought about numbers And we talked about numbers She's just straight up like I gotta go home I have no reason I have to go home now And the cool thing to Chris's point I think some of the math stuff is cool

The weird little theory about the three there's all these threes in the number it's like when you're you know when you're making up fake sums you're usually going to use the same numbers over and over again look at all these threes like oh that's that's an interesting thing I've gotten some math knowledge

oh no now we're watching a fucking nine year old kid slabs off in the head again you're making money but there's a leak like him going through the whole she's like there's a leak all right oh yeah look out below someone called janitorial but jean's smart

comes in and sort of crashes the celebration here and she's like, you know, what is it? He gives the amount. It's like over $61 million. And she just says like she wants a report on it. It kind of walks out. And that's like sort of the end of what's going on here. And now this is the Bernthal scene, I think.

This Bernthal comes in to see Chilton, who is the accountant for this robotics company. The dude who was so pissed off about Affleck asking for the 15 years of accounting information. And we're just at this dude's house. Bernthal just sitting there there's a couple of goons in the back playing PlayStation or whatever while he threatens this guy in the most terrifying scene I've ever seen a man eat a pie

he's eating this key lime pie ready to kill this guy he's got the insulin needles on the table and he's like so here's what we can do here you can make it look like you accidentally OD'd on your insulin and you can just die quietly and we'll be gone or you can put up a fight

and we're going to torture your wife I say violate your wife and then it's kind of funny though because then he read and he's like I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that last part of a violate you nobody's going to do it we will kill her nobody's going to violate her I just talk sometimes I just talk about incredible rape

sometimes he says he's going to burn his house down you know all this stuff and all the while he's just casually eating key lime pie and drinking an ice cold glass of milk and it's terrifying it's a great pie dude it does like pretty good why would you if you're this but I'm sorry if you're this wife and you make the biggest

lemon meringue pie I've ever seen just to put it under his nose like you're right it might have been lemon meringue I guess I'll have to watch this for the third time it's the big white cap yes yeah yeah yeah it's not key lime but key lime is my preferred I love a good key lime oh yeah key lime's great can't really get it around here because they don't use

actual key lime it's shitty lime pie place in Red Hook though imports them really probably not with the tariffs anymore I don't really know this is that's a different country dude don't worry about it Here's $2,000. He's a key lamp pie. So the last line of that seems,

make a decision, sir. And then you wake up, that dude's been killed. Yes. And basically, let's go out of here. We don't watch it anymore. Basically,

he's like, yep, he does it. Because he's, we figured it out. It's fine. And he says, I am now responsible

for the suicide of my best friend. Take your money and go. I was like, best friend. Really? Even his ghost is off to the side. Best friend.

The ghosts eat the piece of my birth, Did you guys hang out? Did you go to like the movies or something? Like what's about this friends? The thing is here they're erasing his work off the windows and the boards and getting all the files out. And he is particular about he needs to finish projects. He doesn't like it when he can't finish. I just wanted him to shoot everyone right now.

You did what? I have to finish. I have to finish. She's already came and he's like, you have to finish. He's going to finish. If you're going to just start breaking necks Just having a freak out here Would be welcome

But he goes home to have the freak out And he's clearly rattled Because he almost crashes Right into the garage door Doesn't pull in all the way The door comes down And hits the flap out of the truck He goes in he's doing his

His punishment room Yes And then he really starts He fucking cracks it over his own Like listen It takes a lot for me to wince at movies But the first time he just really bangs that into his shin.

If you're just walking with a limb for the rest of it. I'm like, seriously? I really fucked up my leg. I really fucked up my leg. Perhaps I took that too far. Because he, I mean, just the couple of beats are really bad. And then he just cracks this thing. And I was like, you're going to splinter there. Oh, my God.

But now, this is where the accountant has to put down the calculator and pick up that anti-aircraft gun again because he goes out for another casual shoot on the farm and a bunch of goons follow. follow him out. This is, one of them looks like Jackson Galaxy, the guy from

my cat from hell. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have this big beard. I know, I know what he's talking about. There's a guy. It's a, it's a, it's a TV show, I don't know, it's still on the air. It was about, it was about training your cat. Okay. If your cat had a problem, he would go there. It was like Caesar Milan

or whatever. Oh, okay. Yeah, but this guy wasn't abusing the animals. Was he abusing the animals? Well, because he would do that, like, fucking, like, finger in the ass. Like, he could, like, flick him and shit. Oh, yeah. well you gotta flick him a little bit no you don't hit animals anyway what was the show about you said hit

you were doing like a snap no he would like flick them like flick them flick their ear like if they're not listening like yeah you just do a little and like you don't fucking hit animals I didn't see this guy no he never hit animals so he's a weird cat guy with a dumb haircut but he's in a big old weird like this big guy

this big white guy oh sure yeah this this this guy's got to be a wrestler somewhere maybe not like a televised backyard yeah yeah he's he's gone the squared circle a couple times. And again, when you got the gun to your head and they're talking about this guy, you're like, maybe we should have taken a loss this year. You know what I mean? Maybe pay the $12,000 penalty. It would have sucked, but we could have just paid the penalty and now a wrestler's going to kill me. But you know what? 10 minutes later, when we make it out

the other side unscathed, I'm like, boy, I'm glad we decided not to put our taxes on the fucking credit card. Well, because yeah, you might make it. I mean, if they had gotten Ben Affleck, you'd make out. You got saved this one year. That's all you needed. The thing that sucks here is before we can get the Goon Squad. We got a flashback. This is where they're fighting with this Indonesian

fight trainer and the dad's like yeah, keep eating the shit out of my kids and the guy's like, sir, I'm pretty sure they've had all they can stomach for the day. And the dude's basically like, are they still able to get up? They still breathe it? You better start hitting my kids again. This line of like well, then you should be covered in blood

and snot, not them. Yes. I beat the autism into you sir you are you beat out of my boys i'll beat it into you it's just crazy because i mean you find out what happens to this dad later and it's hilarious but like you need it to be a thing where chris and brachston turn on this guy and fucking kill them kill him themselves man that's the dude man i mean totally this guy also is like a

low rent ben mendleson a little bit oh i could see that i was thinking he actually looks like a low rent uh john greese a little bit too just like i you never seen this guy before. Or since, maybe, I don't know. He's definitely not pulling up in part two because there ain't no flashbacks to be had. Oh, that's nice. But yeah, they, you know, they're just getting trained. Brax has like a LaRuso

headband on, which is kind of funny. But it's just this huge guy just beating the shit out of these two little kids and then back to the movie, I guess. That's good work if you can get it. But, yeah, so Chris has that flashback while you see him like laying down in the truck

amongst the melons. And then when it cuts back you just see the flatbed he's no longer in it but the melons are all still there and it's like oh the accountant's on the case now and he just lays waste to these dudes there's a great one where the guy is like kind of hiding behind the door frame and he just gets fucking murked behind it yeah pretty good it's really is that operator beard or is that the other guy no operator beard is the is it the truck later he's the one he like takes them hostage and gets out to the truck or whatever and he aflick the dudes driving there's two dudes still one No, he's making the man drive the car.

The wife is riding shotgun to this bearded guys at the back seat. Affleck gets on the back of this truck. This is like him doing Batman. I mean, he kicks the fucking window in, drags this guy out, beats the shit out of him. And I've woken up. And I'm like, oh, cool, the movie started. Yeah. Because, like, again, like, this is 40 minutes in.

And it's like, if this movie is an action movie, give me action in the action movie. The fight that they have, like, the dude whips out a knife here. And Ben, like, takes up his belt. And the guy just goes, well. What the fuck? It's really funny. And he just starts whipping them in the face with the belt. I do like the knife versus belt.

And the belt really gets this guy. Oh, you want to play knifely beltie, do you? Ow. Ow. Ow. He eventually, like, gets in around his neck, right? And he's like, tell me who you work for. Was it the Gambino's?

Was it MoMA Goddafi? Was it those Saddam boys? Oh, them Hussein boys are at it again. McCron? Tell me if it's McCron. I got to go back to our, there's so many kids there. I've done all of the Saddam. He's got more fucking kids than Cooper.

And then he just angrily breaks this dude's neck with his legs while just standing up. It's amazing. And dude, one of the biggest laughs of the movie is like the day is saved. He gets in his truck to drive away and he just gives a polite wave to the farm family as he's driving off. I mean, I guess you call the police at that point, right?

I mean, give me 15 minutes and then do whatever you want on the phone. You know, something like that. You'll feed them to the hogs. oh yeah dude drag him out to the hogs have you seen that movie with a character named mason verger actually if you feed them to the hogs you could write that off in your taxes yeah exactly look how much hog feed i bought yeah that was like a hundred pounds so i got a receipt of me weighing it look i wrote down 100 pounds at least two months were i guess three how many that big guy's like probably 250 at least yeah yeah and then how much man meat you think we got

here for the farm well that's three probably that's three five probably that's three five guys you got, right? Yeah, but it depends upon how many how many hod you have. Five, six hundred pounds of meat. There's not many, because I'm not seeing any. So you assume it's a low number, because otherwise you would see it. And then you've got to do, you know, you got to calculate how much you're going to spend on your car repairs from the back window.

Oh, sure, getting those bullet holes out, that's going to be a problem. I'll tell you, the accountant seems like a stand-up guy. I think he would pay for the damage to you. I think he would pay for that stuff. We should see it. He leaves a pollock behind. Yeah, totally. He's just gifted. Maybe he leaves the action comics to that guy. Mother, what the

hell is this stupid poster? It's just a bunch of squiggle lines. Throws at the garbage. Exactly. This is the cup that crass drank out of? Mother, this don't look like the cup of a carpenter. It throws it away. But that's the problem. It's not like you can break a Jackson

Pollock either. It's like, oh, Jackson Pollock, I'll get three Keith Herrings back. It doesn't work that way. I mean, that's a thing. Got changed for this. Like at the end of the movie, when surprise, surprise, he gifts Anna Kendrick with the Pollock painting that she remarks on later in the film if she goes to sell that

it's going to be like well we need to deduce the provenance of this thing where did it come from? Yes thank you Dana you are going to jail that was reported missing over a decade ago like you can only sell it to another criminal at that point that's the only way you can do it so it's like I hope you really like this hanging in your apartment

and you need to have a nice criminal there you got to ask your accountant boyfriend or you go or you go on Antiques Rocha so how did you get well you know I was on this accountant adventure once you understand this guy who's He was really hot, but he is looking at the bad, and also murder. Oh, interesting. Certainly doesn't look like it was painted by a Chinese.

We looked up that video. You were right. That guy sounds exactly like that. It's pretty great. I saw him, though. He slammed a man through a faucet and then put two bullets in his head. So that's the story behind this wonderful painting. And then the noise goes, but-da-d-d-d-d-d-r-d-r-d-h.

So he's driving away from the scene. He calls the handler, and he's like, hey, this persona is dead. move all the money to my offshore accounts and she's like all right and then this is where you need to go and he's like no I'm going to get Dana and the handler has to be like you don't care about this woman you have to get to safety no no no I'm

going for Dana yes we got to go save Anna Kendrick here the assassin's already following her you know we see her you know walking home this apartment building that she lives in what is going on here it looks like it's all industrial I thought it was the office again right

it looks like jigsaw should be rigging something down the hall. Because she's walking, walking, walking, and these guys are following her, but there's no doors to other apartments anywhere along this hallway. I don't think movies understand how normal people live. You know what I mean? Like, they don't know what's a normal? Like, well, she's not rich, so she can't live in a crazy apartment building. So it's got to be like, I don't know, it's like a brick hovel, I suppose.

Like, it just doesn't make sense. I think you're absolutely right. Because everyone involved has like a mansion of some kind and like the guy with the littlest mansion like, you, ew. And then like, well, what would a regular person live like, I don't know, a hay, you know, in an industrial room? It's just, I mean, like, and boiler room, I guess. Chris, you used to live in an illegal Brooklyn loft that looked way more like an apartment building than this does. I mean, there's just, it's like the slaughterhouse from Texas chainsaw.

Like, I don't know what this building is supposed to be. It's just green and white walls, ill lit. And then there's one door that's her apartment. Also, you fucking sent what? It looks like a dozen guys to take care of field mouse, Anna Kendra. But so she is attacked right here, but there's some like Amazon delivery guys or whatever that are posing and they come in and they start fighting her.

Attacking her, she runs into the bathroom here. Thank God the accountant is right on time, though. You know, let's go, is the big bad at the end of this movie? He should be sent it robots after. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I mean, cool. It's like Ben Affleck versus a bunch of robots. Yeah, it's like one of those robot dogs.

jumps up, he cracks it over his knee. Hell yeah. Oh, nice try, accountant. You forgot about my army of robots. And yes, I partnered with Shredder Corporation. Look at my mousers. I mean, that's the perfect. The goddamn house invasion at the end of it.

He should have goddamn butlers. Turn them all into knife-wielding psychos. That's the secret, right? It's like all these dudes that are working there, they're actually secret cyborgs. It's like Halloween 3, like yellow shit. Fuck yeah. But no, this movie is kind of about autism.

So it has to be serious, God damn it. Kindness order, yeah. So Chris is like taking out these hallway guys. A lot of Ben Affleck shooting people directly in the face. It's great. Because again, the movie has started. I'm like, cool, more of this.

And it's going to stop really soon. It's a bummer. He chokeslams a guy through his sink, which is pretty great. I do appreciate that. And Edna Kendrick actually gets a couple blows off on some dudes. And I'm like, that is surprising. Yeah, I didn't expect that to happen. This is great, like this dude is just dead.

water is everywhere, and he's just, we should go. Yeah. And then Bernthal gets the call here, and this is where you realize that they were Bernthal's guys. He's like, how hard is it to kill an accountant? You have no idea, John Bernthal. I fucking love John Bernthal. He's the best.

It's really cool. He needs to, he's so good in the sequel. Yeah. He needs to top line movies. He does. I like Jason Statham enough, but let's start cycling him out. He could be a working man. Yes, exactly, right?

He could, people will go see a movie. that he's the star. I guess the problem is he's more of a real actor. That's the thing. I don't think he's ready to do that. He doesn't want to do that. Yeah, like, Statham was like pretty quick, like, yeah, no, I'll do that. I'm not going to be the great fucking actor that everybody, like.

You guys are confused. He's in the account and the accountant, too. That's not exactly best picture. I mean, it's Gavin O'Connor who has made movies that I think have been nominated. I think Warrior got not, maybe for Golden Globes, maybe. It could have been for that. I think maybe Nelty was nominated for something, maybe. I mean I get like this isn't real trash though

accountant and accountant two are not real trash they would be focusing on the hitters and all that shit they're not doing that so what he is not like I think it is what Steve said he's not ready for that like he wants to still make you still have the cachet from the walking dead

you still have the Punisher cachet like use that while you still can to get yourself into these movies people will come be like oh fucking what's his face from the walking dead's in an action movie in the theater right like a John Wick kind of thing, I think would do

gangbussed. I just don't think he wants to do that. Well, listen to me, sir. I know you listen to every podcast about your stuff. Baranthal, give me a call. Because I was going to say, his best work, in my opinion, is Secario where he's beaten, beaten the shit out of. He's not, like, a cool operator. Oh, right, yeah, he is good, man. He gets fucking...

As the local cop, right, yeah, yeah. And he's great in Deltero nearly kills him. He's great in the Wolf of Wall Street, which I want to rewatch. Oh, yeah, yeah, I forgot he's in that, too. He worked in Scorsetian. I mean, like, he can do both. Yes. I agree. He should do, he's sitting at a test balloon where he's just like, it's the plumber and he just running around hitting people with pipes and shit. Exactly. Just like, just I, you know, because you know, Statham's got like 18 things lined up. Yeah, sure. Just as a little Hollywood experiment. Give one of those scripts to Bernthal and see what happens. That's all. Kooling with the Nessons already. All right. Exactly. Grandpa is done. You know what I mean? That's what we need some new blood. Wait until they've been saying this much. So it's like, you know, that's even a nice thing. So it's like, you know, that's even.

on his mind. Well, that's the problem. You know, they would probably give him like the new taken and he's like taken remake nonsense. Yeah, it can't be that. No, it should be like a new movie. I'm saying the plumber. So he's a plumber, you understand.

Right, yeah. Like, you're just like, oh, what's this plumber up to? Uh, uh, oh, shit, he's got the the fireflower now. Look at it. Oh, uh, the plumber. He's going to unclog your drain. Yeah, I'll kill Bowser and I fucking liked it.

Bloop, bloop, bloop. Oh, shit. He's got them fireballs. Bloop, bloop. I'm trying to make fun of my, my, my raccoon suit. See, he could sell comedy like that, too. It's, you know, people that can sell comedy and action. Yeah.

That's a special little guy. Absolutely. And you know what? I would watch a fucking 100-minute Punisher movie with him in it. That is the answer. Don't do another fucking series. Give me a quick, lean, mean, fun Punisher movie. Precisely.

And it would be awesome because he's awesome as Frank Castle. Because it would be watchful. As it was recording, he was only in one episode of that Daredevil. The finale is not out yet. Not out yet. I kind of can't imagine him coming back, but maybe he does. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

It's just such a weird, like, hi, I'm in Daredevil. That's great. They yell at each other for five minutes, fantastic. And it's one of the best scenes of the season. Sure. So, you know, I'll handle this account in myself is what he says. And it's like, are you doing a Southern accent or you not? That's a question I had in this movie.

Well, I think that's just closer to how he actually talks. Yeah, because he's from Maryland or something. He's got a little, it's a little Mason-Dixony there because, like Frank Castle, he does not talk like that. But I think. the way he naturally speaks as closer to his walking dead character, which has that like slight twang to it. So he's going to go after the accountant. Chris Affleck

takes Anna Kendrick to this airstream and she's very funny here. Like, do you live in this and all that stuff? And he's like, no, this is a storage facility. I do not live in a storage facility. Well, here's the big question I had. He's spending a lot of time in this is he using the restroom of the airstream? And if so, are

you emptying it out? What's the sewage situation? Oh, great question. Is he taking shitter was full? Exactly, yes. I'm doing a chemical toilet into the sewer. Yeah, I got a feeling that he's only using that bathroom if he's on the road. Yeah. Okay.

That's responsible. So he's making like a go bag. You know, he's got all this money. Yes. He just hand grabs his action comics. Just grabbing it, like me grabbing fucking donuts at a buffet. If you're folding a piece of pizza, you lose 400 grand. The second you're, the grease from your finger.

Is there no dust jacket? There's a jacket. So it's at least not a loose comic But again, you should not be folding it like And again, are you going to go to a restaurant? Be like, um, here you go, please. I'll pay this check for the French fries and the coffee. Here's an action number one comic.

But the thing is, it means nothing to him because he can always go and work for the next, you know, evil organization that's out there. That would be great. I'm working for the American government. I'm part of Doge. But no, I would like it if he was just paying for everything in comics. Like, oh, actually, no, okay, so that was it, 1450?

But I've got the first appearance of, oh, no, the blob is too much, no. Oh, here you go. Two of the original run of the Allen Moore's Swamp thing should cover it. How about the full phalanx series? Yeah, exactly. I got, I don't know, X Factor number 91. What's that going to do? What's that going to get me?

So, meanwhile, in the other movie is something I literally wrote in my notes. It really is. In the other movie here, this is where Marybeth gets a call from a fella who has done some forensic audio analysis because she has done some audio manipulation of her own and found out that on that recording of the Gambino hit you can also

hear very faintly Ben doing the Solomon Grundy thing and the guy basically this guy calls her to be like here's the thing I listen to it and the cadence is this this and that you got an autistic person on it. This guy is just called to be like you're chasing

an autistic person is what's happening here. And you know what you could you could augment the audio of me fucking snoring during these scenes. It's just so much, and then she goes to this fat guy, and it's like, what about this autistic name? What about that autistic name? I want to hear every name of every

famous mathematician out there. And we're going to whittle this fucker down. This poor IRS guy, he's like, and I'm not getting anything at it. He's like, what do I get out of this? And she's like, oh, I can make some recommend. It's like such a hogwash lot. I was like, you're not going to do shit for this guy.

He's going to be in this basement until he died. he's not going to be an is he in the second movie no oh yeah you can't even do that for him uh so then this is ben takes her uh uh to the we should say her character's name is dana by the way chris and dana go to the hotel dana and uh it's a really nice hotel and i really like anna kendrick here like i this is i can't afford this place and my treat you know and again she it's amazing that she sits him down and she's like how can you do all this this stuff. He's like, my father was very hard on me. He made me train in all these places, and

that is why I do this. That's it. You just did it. You just cut 20 minutes out of your movie. You fucking solved it, baby. I made most of my money working for Crimson Jihad when they were attacking Miami. Abia, he says, you know, they had 34 homes and 17 years, and this is a really

sad line for her. She's like, wow, I know that must have been tough to move that much, but I've never gone anywhere. And it's very Anna Kendrick line here. She's like, well, aside from Cancun once, It's the biggest regret of my life. You know, like her comedy thing that she does very well. Exactly.

She's great. And it's, she tells this whole story about, it's kind of amazing. Like, we just did the judge where characters are forgotten about. She tells this big story about this Vera Wang dress. That's why she wanted it and all this.

It's a good story. It's a good little Anna Kendrick bit. Right. She literally goes to sleep and she's out of the movie. Yep. Bye, bye. That's it. She takes a nap.

Ben Affleck lovingly looks at her for a little bit. It's like, can I fuck this lady? Probably not. And he leaves. That's it. Which is, I guess... She gets a Pollock at the end.

She does. Not that way. An actual painting. Oh, my best. Dirty. It's better. Oh, I'm sorry for being dirty. Oh, I remember the team.

Eric's a little much. It's people have added it up. I'm actually not the dirty. Big Daddy Cummainestein over here. What? How did he know my secret profile? The accountant's on to you, dude. Oh, does he go by Big Daddy Cummings?

Try search Big Daddy Kevin's team Oh yeah We got him There he is Clear his day Big Daddy Covins team

That's the thing If we come to your town You know what I mean Eric always travels If you're trying to find Eric's hotel room That's what he stays Under his Big Denny

Now and I got to find a new name Usually had a regency You got to find a new name How about Dr. Big Daddy Come in there is What's the Texas is better Than her getting kidnapped Which would be the other option

Exactly Yeah You know but I just wish like if it became a thing where, like, she's just with him the whole time. They're tied to each other, yeah. And you found a way to do it where she just wasn't like Kate Capshaw screaming the whole time. Precisely. That's more interesting because, like, a lot of this movie is him just walking around by himself.

Because, again, and we have more fucking so much more exposition to get to. We can't have new stuff. We have to talk about old stuff. Yeah. But, yeah, you know, so he just, it's a really nice, because he does have a nice line here where he's like, I have a thing where I can't engage with people even though I really want to he says to her and I think it's actually nice

if it didn't spell her leaving the movie forever I mean there is something nice about like he's closing this door very slowly and it's this like I want to see this person who I've grown to care about in some way and I don't understand what that might be maybe but like I want to see her up until the last second I can't see her anymore and he's very closing the door

way for a way for it but then like yes she just be sleeping in the first rest of the movie. Diane Keaton and the godfather in slow motion. He lives like a crazy note for her though, right? Like, Dana, you deserve wow. Yes.

Sea. Yeah. From sea. Wow. You know. I don't know if it's the beer Marge, but you deserve wow. Five dollars, get out of here. I didn't know.

Dad was such romantic. But so yeah, he realizes this whole thing about Crazy Eddie Antar, this big 1980s New York City electronics guy. Crazy Eddie? Is this something you recall?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember the commercials. Oh, really? Oh, that's cool. Yeah. He was a criminal? No, it was just like, he was just gone down to crazy Eddie's, yada, yada, yada. I mean, he was apparently a criminal.

Apparently it was the thing where he found this way to steal from himself and then sell the stealings back to himself and make more money. I don't know. Because I don't even know what he did. That's what big companies do, right? stock buybacks and stuff the same thing

that's what all our politicians do there's a real fucking fire sale a couple weeks ago um but so you know they're suspecting that reida here jean smart's character remember her from last mentioned 40 minutes ago in this movie they suspect that rita is stealing

and they hired him for reasons unknown maybe to make it look better like i'm looking into this sort of a deal and jean not so smart shot in the head here that's not so great yeah so he is parked outside rita's house to surveil He's like, I'm seeing what I can find out. And this is where he sees Bernthal walking out of the house,

and he follows him for a little bit. Bernthal immediately catches onto this. Fires at this car. Yeah, and then they're firing at each other because the last time he saw Braxton, his hair wasn't quite so high. He's like, that can't be Brexton. I think it's Jerry Seinfeld.

I'm shooting at Jerry Seinfeld. Either that or John Drabold did Saturday Night Fever. What's the deal with assassinating your sitcom hero? He gave me the finger. That's Braxton. Hello, Newman. Jerry Seinfeld I get it

So Chris Goes back in the house Here to see what's going on And there is just Gene smart With a bullet through the head End of Gene Yeah

It's another female character Written out of the movie Again it would have been nice To have like a final scene Yeah Like her and Bernthaw Going half each other Her screaming

And then her sudden silencing I wasn't going for quite that But you know what Eric You do you Blood curdling You know you're going to die And then just the, just the sound of that, and then silence. Because again, it's one of these movies, to your point, Chris, like, you can't just, you can't just explain things or have information relayed.

Everything has to be a fucking surprise. So John Lithgow, being crooked has to be this huge surprise. Right, right. Obviously, he's crooked. It's John Lithgow. It's the Law and Order Rules. Exactly, dude. You see that dude.

You see what he's doing. You see that it's Lithgow. Boom. There's your guy. And it's like, I have to wait. So then you can't show the Gene Smart. scene and it would be interesting for her to be like did my brother put you up this that son of a bitch

like you know what I mean like she have her be a great actress and do some I genuinely don't know what the fuck you're talking about boom and then yeah and then silent it's Eric we'll have this on Eric Eric I swear we'll have the silence I swear silent okay

so this IRS guy that Mary Beth has been working with here finds out Christian Wolf is the full name and we're investigating all these Christian wolves and we're We found this one that has ZZZ accounting and a strip mall and it only made this much money. But, oh, would you look at that? ZZ accounting did the tax return for the Chinese restaurant next door and the dry cleaners next door? Right. The entire strip mall, he's laundering all this money through it.

Oh, boy. Which, I mean, I guess it would have been a good idea 30 years ago. But, like, now that breaking beds been on the air, people figured it out. Yeah, right, exactly. And so then this woman that's just walking to J.K. Simmons and be like, I got it, Ray. And then J.K. Simmons goes, put your cool hat on. We're going to Chicago. He turns into a different character. He's hat. He's at the Adjustment Bureau. Man, speaking of Matt Damon movies, that was a snore and a half that I saw in the theater.

I still have not, actually. Emily Blunt? Yeah, John Slattery, I want to say. Slattery's in there. Yeah, they're all wearing stupid hats. Dude, every last one of them was wearing a dip shit hat in that movie. And yes, we're going to go to Chicago. They're coming to the movie now, actually. Oh, whoa. Good. yeah he watches oh this is

this is actually where he leaves the hotel he's watching her sleep or whatever because there's another flashback this is the fighting the kids in the streets of Paris flashback it's like raining and this dad's like you're gonna go beat the shit out of those kids right now and like he goes and does it

but then he also sends Bernthal out to go like one kid runs away and he's go get a brachs you gotta show me him hunting that kid down and you kidding me breaks his neck in the street again like I'm not I would say cut all of the things out. But if you're going to have a flashback, then make it fun.

Exactly. And this, you know, the dad here is like, you know, Chris, you're different, different scares people. That's why you just got to beat the shit out of them, wherever you go. I've learned something. You've got to use your autism. I can't take it away from you. You have to use it. Don't I understand now, son.

So they go, the Treasury Department agents go to Chris's house. and it's like no personal things anywhere, just his one fork, one spoon, one knife, one plate situation. And they're trying to figure out what's going on here. Oh, is this Gatlin gun hanging from the scene. Yeah, this is a great thing where they're looking at the backyard and they're like, well, he's got about 25 birdhouses in this backyard. They all have cameras in them.

So that's how he's got the back covered. And J.K. Simmons is like, well, geez, how does he cover the front? Does he have Allstate or something? No, it's farmers for him. Oh, you're right, it is farmers. Not an ad, fuck them. their bad company. Sure. And this this fucking Gatling gun

coming down from the ceiling like a hanging potted plant and it's like that is how he covers the front of this house. This is when he sits down and explains to her who the accountant is, right? Roughly right here or? Sort of well this is yeah it's kind of around here because like Marybeth has to tell hers

or she's like well the court didn't tell the whole thing and it's like oh well what was a drug problem. I shoved coke up a drug dealer's nose and beat shit out of them or you know whatever it was and the judge pitied the drug dealer I guess the story is I don't know that's that's the system

incredibly compelling the turn the only thing in between that is the turn you realize you're there's and it's that's the other thing too is like you're hiding the fact that Lithgow's crooked and then the reveal isn't even anything theatrical he's just he's on the phone with Bernthol and he's like I hired you to do a job

because it's that's this movie all over it withholds information until it doesn't. You know what I mean? And it's not even like a big whoa. It's just like, oh, that information. Yeah. I just withheld that information. Now you have it. Did John Lithgow kill your fucking dad? No, he didn't. I saw how your dad die. It's not that fun. No, no.

No, no. But like, that's what I would assume with the reveal is that like there was some connection happening that we have to finally fucking deal with. The only thing that sort of comes around here is Lithgow's talking about the accountant, you know, doing the job and whatever. And Bernthal's asking some questions

about him and you start realizing Bernthal is suspecting, oh fuck is this Chris. Yes. And then Lithgow, this is actually, again, some great, no surprise here, some great acting from Bernthal. Lithgow calls the accountant a twisted freak or a sick freak or something like that. And you can see Bernthal

sort of pricks up like, if he's calling my brother, I'm going to be fucking pest, you know, like, it's all in this like he just sort of pricks up his ears. I mean, Bernthal, my God, like, what he transmits, it's amazing. That could be a brother. Oh, wait, that could be.

my brother. Okay, you know what? Now I take this seriously. And then this is J.K. Simmons gets into the whole thing about Jeffrey Tambor being the previous accountant for all the black accounting. And now he trained him in prison to take all the gigs. And by the way, I got him out of jail, thus ending his protective cover. He was picked up in minutes by the mafia and tortured to death. An objection here. Two things. He's like, yeah, they took the old accountant, you understand, they put him in a in a dirty basement in the Bronx

and the way that it's like a dirty basement anywhere is gross but the way he says it's a dirty basement in the Bronx makes it gross it does and it does and then he's like and then they dumped his body in a Staten Island dump and I'm like well that yeah yeah you could have just said Staten Island

oh also at some point the reason that Chris got am I remembering this right that he was at some point thrown in Guantanamo and J.K. Simmons had him taken out of Guantanamo for some reason and then

he lost track of him. Because you realize that like J.K. Simmons is also feeding the accountant the missions. I guess. I forgot about this part. It's so fucking convoluted. It's so convoluted because and then we well apparently why he was in jail was

because and it reminded me of Silence of the Lambs. Did anyone else get the Silence of the Lambs? The funeral scene in Silence of except it turns into a big low rent brawl. This is great. I love the they're getting to shove fights at the funeral. Fighting at a funeral is

literally as low rent as you can get. It's about as trashy as you can get. You've got to, even if it has to happen it has to happen outside. That's still trashy. But fighting near a casket is about as trashy as you can. And the fucking body fell out. Exactly. And you're not going to beat the pet cemetery fight.

So why bother? That's already the high point, baby. that is kind of the best funeral fight you got and the fucking kid fell over the body's out this is yes they go to their mother's funeral funeral for Lauren Alton and it's just the dad and Ben Affleck no Bernthal because again Berenthal later is like why the fuck did you go she left us what fuck yeah but we're also keeping that information from the audience one more time sure just in case anyone's been sleeping this whole time and they the new family does not want them there and again you probably

ask them politely to leave it if they don't you're like well this is uncomfortable that's it you do not throw hands at a funeral folks nope uh and then things get really out of hand here this fight breaks out and this cop tries to shoot ben affleck and the fucking father gets in the way and just gets

dropped like a sack of bricks but am I wrong here you don't really see the we don't see the impact it's like it's because it's all like jakess of them and this happens you're seeing like flashes of images You just see like the cops tackle Ben to the ground and he's looking and the dad dies.

You hear the shot. To Eric's point, I want to see this dude's back explode. I know what I mean? I've seen this guy be an asshole for fucking 59 minutes. I need to see like the pop. Silence. Like he's freaking out doing his asshole military dad thing and then blah, blah,

blah. See, I'm more, I want to see, let's see scene two of Jeffrey Tambour's treatment. with the father. Somebody get him. We didn't talk about it because he just says,

who's tortured in a dirty basement in the Bronx. And you cut to Jeffrey Tambor in a chair and so putting a nail into his head like he's Jesus. Before they're about to burn the fat off his body

it looks like with that fucking blowtor. There's a quick shot of J.K. Simmons opening a body bag in a morgue and almost vomiting. And you're like, that's fitting.

It's disgusting. Well, that guy got got. It's just Jeffrey Tambor. You know his legacy. he got tarnished. Look at him. He's not even tortured. He's just an asshole.

So he says, you know, the accountant kills anyone who breaks his moral code, basically. Hey, great. And this is because he's basically

saying to Mary Beth right here, like, listen, when I'm done, we need somebody to direct the accountant. And, you know, when calls, somebody needs to be there

to answer, you see. I get it. And I mean, like, it is what it is, but it's so convoluted. It's so much easier

just to be like, here's this cool story about this creepy forensic accountant who fucking fucks people up. Yep. That's it. That's it. And then the handler calls the house right here because they're still sitting in Ben Affleck's abandoned house while this is going on.

And she's like, tell J.K. Simmons to get his feet off the table, i.e. we're surveilling you in the house right now. Sort of a deal here. And then Bernthal asking, again, Lithgow, like, what did this account look like? What did he sound like or whatever? And while this is going on, the final action set

piece of the movie starts to take place. Chris Lithgow's property, now knowing, you know, who did the deed. Just like the end of Haywire, if it was horrible. Oh, right. Yeah, it does kind of, it ends in a rich guy's house. First guy's house with a bunch of guys who are trying to kill him, and then Gina Carano, you know. Yeah. She sucks, but great scene. Great scene. Great scene.

And again, my army of robots. Like, that would be really something. Or, like, when he does shoot him in the head, it would just hilarious what we're talking about. It's a great one. If he just pulls it, I was like, sorry, not going to work with me. I'm a robot. now. It's like you,

you made yourself into a robot but you still talk like that? Have you seen in short circuit? I made my own Johnny Fy!

He has treadwheels to come out of his leg. Dude, that would be awesome if he was shitty robots. It's my army of shitty robots. Missiles coming out of

his nipples. Oh, hell yeah, dude. It's like the March of the Penguins with the penguin in Batman Returns but his furbies and shit. They've all got rockets on the

little little Teddy Ruxpins and shit. My Furby! and they drag him out to the river later after he's out it's a river

of battery acid mhm these little furbies are just dragging lift out with a bullet and they put him on a bunch of room buzz the funeral

possession the He's dragging him along. He should be like, what's his face from Blade Red? I have all these little fucking weird robots in his house. Oh, that's rock. William, whatever his face is. The creator.

Sanderson. There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we just, the assault on this house is awesome. It's cool. And then like, Merkin dudes inside and out. But at this point, it takes him a while. Even still, Bernthal isn't sure that it's his brother because, like, he's sent

to dudes after him. Yep. But when he sees him on the cameras, when he's finally, is like, oh, no, it's my brother. Oh, fuck. There's a great major L.O.L. from Lithgow, where, like, after all of the shooting has come down, Lithgow's, like, surveilling the carnage, and he's just going, are they dead? Which one of them's are dead? And again, like, this guy's killed his sister.

Like, you don't get enough out of him as a film. Yeah, because it's like, you fucking had your own sister put down, dude. Like, that's some nefarious shit. Like, it's crazy, especially because you have an actor like John Lithgow, he doesn't have a parlor scene of any kind? kind of almost the joke of it is basically right but like you could you could have still had that hilarious moment and then the parlor scene happened earlier earlier in the movie just to give it some weight because it's just so flimsy and I do but the action here is good it's good stuff he realizes by the way not just seeing Chris on the camera he hears Chris doing the Solomon Grundy thing

and he's like motherfucker any highlights here in the action scenes I'm trying to think of good there's there's one where he's like some guy's like has a bomb he's about to Oh, yes, the grenade. And he hugs him. Well, he puts it in his Bulletproof vass. And so it's going to, it's going to like do that. And I feel like, I'm not sure,

because that's the one that puts Chris out for a bit. I feel like it hits him in the balls somehow. Oh, that could be. Like the explosion. Right in my nuts. I got hitting my nuts. Oh, we. Oh, we, oh, we my balls.

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, slipping in it between his own chest and the flack jacket. This dude just blows up. Probably the greatest grenade death since Child's Play 3. Pretty good. Yeah, not bad. because that fat kid falling on a grenade is still one of the funniest things you'll see in any movie ever

yeah that's a good one I don't know again just the whole like I have a huge like silenced a machine gun thing and I'm putting it right to your face before I put so much face machine gun shots cool like throwing people through glass stuff going on which is you know I like that the action in this movie is good and it makes you want

I will probably stream the accountant to because I think it's way better than this movie It is. So then finally, yes, it's brother to brother. You know, you're the reason pop's dead, this, that, and the other thing. We get a little, I love how it's like, it's a, it's a, it's a fight between two assassins, but it is also like a brother fight. Yes. You know.

But what, if you're a lith gal, you got to start doing math here and you hear, well, they're brothers. You've got to grab your go bag and just fucking ski dattle out the back. Wow, what are the odds? This is awkward. Bye-bye. Or, you know, you can do the opposite. is heat up some of that progressive soup and throw it on them.

You'll be getting it to boil. Hot soup. Take some cream of mushroom accountant. Not too thick. Actually, I'll do the hail. The minestrone. Do you smell something? No, I'm just so glad to see you.

Ow! Let me invite you to my Italian wedding. Yeah, so the Lithgow thing that's awesome is he's trying to plead his case and he's talking about the prosthetics business, you know, and he's like, I give them home.

Do you even know what that's like? And just Ben Affleck goes, yes, I do. And casually shoots this guy right, that he barely fucking looks at him when he does it. It's kind of a cool death, right? Him just suddenly dropping to the floor is great. Because you expect the parlor seat here. That's a good

subversion. Yeah. So he's dead and they sort of just like, you know, I've been looking for you for 10 years, says Braxton and Christian says, well, I've known where you are this whole time, but I haven't reached out. But I'd like to see you. You want to hang out next week. He says, just tell me where,

where am I going to meet you? I'll find you, you know, walks out. There is, their scene is good, like, the whole, like, is like, you're not even happy to see me. And, like, there's a weird thing. Like, he's trying to get emotions out of this guy that he can't get, and it's still frustrating in him after all these years. Again, pretty good movie. Yep.

It makes sense to put these two together. Yep. Much, much earlier. If you did it, like, 30 minutes into the two-hour and eight-minute movie, that would have been cool. And they took the note. They did it in the sequel. Precisely. They're together pretty much the whole time. So Medina gives a press conference here at the end. It's like you think J.K. Simmons is about to be introduced, but the guy, I think, I guess it must be the Treasury Secretary, then introduces her instead.

So Mary Beth comes up and makes this announcement where she says, oh, is the great teamwork, all the people. It's a great, like, oh, I can't take credit. Oh, my God, she's going to totally rat on the account. Oh, right. Oh, no, she's going to. It was a team. I was like, oh, she didn't rat on the account. Oh, wow.

Yeah, exactly. And J.K. Simmons is like, right on time. Now I can retire, and I hopefully don't get murdered in the first five minutes of the second. Which is in the trailer, so that is not a spoiler. Here's your accountant key. Does he have a videotape like Pantleiano and Bad Boys 16? No, but he does a cool thing to get a message out there, which I thought it was kind of... Now, you understand if you're in an accountant sequel, you should...

If you're watching this tape, it probably means you're in the accountant, too, and I've been killed in the street. You still don't have to pay attention to Medina. Still does not matter, to be clear. worry, kids. You don't have to listen to a word this woman says. If Medina's on the screen, that's when you'll want to go to the bathroom or perhaps visit the concession stand. Re-up your milk duds.

Whatever you see Medina on screen, you should wonder to yourself, do I need more milk duds? Might be time to refill that popcorn. Perhaps you're tired from the night before. You could rest those eyes when you see Medina. When you hear a gunshot, you want to open your eyes yet again. Mountain girl?

So then it's like, oh, well, this movie is surely over at this point. No, no. Back to the Neuroscience Center where we're seeing the same doctor from the beginning, giving a tour to this new family coming in. I wanted to speak. You forget there is a mystery behind who computer girl is.

And of course, in those pointless little kid scenes in the first one, there is one girl who is nonverbal. Nonverbal that they keep showing and you're like, she's got to be something. She's got to be doing something. Exactly. And she is, she's the handler. She is the handler. She uses. It is a weird

detail where she is introduced and they're like, oh, like maybe your son wants to see her computer for a second. Oh, yeah, you like computers, whatever. And the dad is like walking out. He's like, wow. Hell of the computer that she's got there. And the guy's like, oh, yeah, I forgot. You're a software designer. What kind of computer do you

have? The guy's like, she could backdoor the NSA with that fucking thing. She could probably, if there was like, I don't know, like a secret agent account, perhaps. She could probably use that for all sorts of help for that Secret Agent accountant. He's on to us.

It must be eliminated. You know, this seat doesn't even need to be in the movie. Absolutely, you're right. You're still here? Go home. What are you doing here? I understand when you see these B-C scenes. These scenes also, you can leave.

Really, any time someone isn't holding a gun or a knife, probably when you want to nod off. But, yeah, it turns out that this is Justine. She's been nonverbal for 30 years. the doctor who runs the place is her father. That's why she's the only permanent resident, we're told, yada, yada, yada. And she uses at the end with the kid. She asked if she wants to play a game and it's the same voice.

Yes. Yeah. And it's to say like a sweetheart or whatever she calls Ben Affleck, she calls this boy. And they're like, oh, got it, you know. And I'm like, well, surely now that Professor Xavier has told us that, you know, there's a special school. Now the credits must come. Oh, no, no. Do we get an expansion of that into, is there, does computer girl come back?

Do we have like cleaner boy who takes care of the crime scenes? Let's not spoil anything, but I will say that there's so much more of what you want into. But there's still some stuff of which you don't want. It's not a five-star affair, but it's way better than what we got here. So, yeah, that's where she's left. And then my God, Dana still in the movie. Dana. Dina.

She goes to his storage facility Finds that it's empty Goes back to her apartment Ding dong FedEx delivery Oh wouldn't you know it's a canvas of dogs playing poker Wow this canvas is mounted shittily Let's tear it off immediately There's the Pollock painting

It would be great There's something on here Let's just got a butcher knife Oh wait I cut through Jackson Pollock painting Wow that's a sin To cut something else on myself And then yeah You just the last shot of the accountant

He's driving off He's got the airstream hooked up to the F-150 and just drive it off into the sunset. And then he goes to pay for gas. He's like, well, I have the first appearance of Blade, I understand that. That should probably... I expected that to increase in value with the new movie, but honestly, just

take it. It's never going to happen. You don't want the entire original printing of that time Blade hung out with Dracula? It's pretty cool. Perfect honeymoon reading. That's what I found. That's where I read that. Oh, really? Honeymoon in Mexico. It's worth more than 90 bucks for the gas. But that is where

the accountant one leaves off way back in 2016, go around the hornier for some final thoughts. Mr. Siska. Yeah, light is a recommend. It's a light recommend. I liked it more the second time I watched it. It still got so many problems.

I do agree with Steve's point of go to the bathroom, fall asleep during every scene where someone's not holding a gun or a knife. I do think that the sequel is, I've got it. I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it. Maybe I was just too intoxicated at the time. But it was a fun time,

and I recommend checking. out the sequel. This one I guess you should watch just to know what the I feel like it's dependent. You kind of need to know this. It kind of is. Although if you've listened to this and you still haven't seen it, you got it. Yeah, I just go to the sequel. Fuck this movie. There's also Wikipedia articles, baby. Very light recommend. Chris Cabin. Oh no, no, no. This is awful.

I don't even think like, yes, the guns and knife scenes are the best scenes. I don't even think they're very good as compared, like something like Haywire where I'm just like, okay, this is actually really well done. Whereas like this is just like, normal you know blocking you know cut to this shoot this it's easy enough and it's nice enough it feels the quote the canon uh film group quota is what we're looking for here and they do do that sure uh and i give him credit for that i i i kind of i'm looking for another really good

ben afflick performance and that way back comes awfully close he is really good in that but i still haven't gotten it and this certainly is not it uh i don't think he's very good in this i think Bernthal because of it's John Bernthal he's just got right and I think they're doing that with Lithgow too it's just like well who cares what character is it's John Lithgow come on it's come on right they both got Riz exactly

and that's all you want from them in this and like I feel like you're holding back on Ben Afflick's Riz by doing this whatever he's doing here yeah um yeah just no for me I do think Ben Affleck is better in the sequel as well okay yeah he's got a better handle the character Stephen yeah it's a no for me I think it just it's

it's so weighted down and I think that, again, there's a lean, mean, dirty movie to be made here that is probably pretty good. I'm not crazy about Ben Affleck here, but I'm right in the middle. Like, it's just, I could see what he's doing. He's doing better than Ben Affleck would. If you heard that Ben Affleck was playing an autistic account, you'd be like, excuse me. That's what I was back in 2016. Yes. It is much better than that. Because again, Ben's an okay actor when he really tries. I think Error is a pretty good performance. I was, that's what I was going to shoot out. I think he's actually quite good in that.

Yeah, like, again, not terrific, not the world's best, but he's, he's got a movie star kind of thing to him, you know what I mean? Like, that's, that's it. And Damon's obviously a better actor. It's not a long story short, it's just, it's, it's not a long story. It's a long story long is the problem. And I do sort of hate this desire in certain movies to just keep information from you to turn it into a twist when it's just information.

You know what I mean? Like, it's a cheap way to do something. and I think this movie is cheap in all of those ways. Yeah, it's just that thing with the script of like you're trying to be sneaky and tricky about stuff and nobody cares and the movie's not better for it. It's in fact worse for it. It's still a light recommend for me, you know, it's a rental.

I'd say though, honestly, like, if you go see the second one in a theater, it's a big action movie that you would want to see on a big screen with people. I mean, we were in a filled theater and it was awesome. It was like a thousand seat filled theater and it was infectious to be with the crowd during that. Exactly.

Like, when the action's, like, really cooking and people are, like, in on it. And, you know, him and Bernthal are fucking going at it against people. It's fucking great. But this is, you know, sometimes you lose your footing on the start or it's a slow start. And it's just like the script structurally is just, it's dumb town. You could fix all the flashback stuff like we said with dialogue put in the movie. And sometimes you indeed had that dialogue anyway. Yes.

So, you know, whatever is what it is. Light recommend. But that is going to do it for this episode on The Account. you want more we hate movies of course check out the patreon patreon.com slash we hate movies where just last week we released a we love movies on the conversation the second part of our jean hackman episode tributes here great movie a lot of a lot of fun talk but also a lot of just praise for that excellent movie right and that's kind of one of those movies they're like how everything that this movie does wrong with the tracking and behind the scenes of that movie does

right it's way that movie makes talking interesting go see watch that movie i feel like a lot of People may not watch it because it's old. Right. But it's fucking great. If you haven't seen this, the conversation, but you're going to watch the accountant. Watch the conversation first and then watch it. 100%. Not that they're related at all, but you should see the conversation before the account.

I just think, like, you know, sometimes we do the we love movies and sometimes people maybe not as jazzed about certain ones, but like give it a shot for us. Yeah, exactly. Give it a shot. So that's on there. Also, we should say all these We Hate Movies episodes that are coming out, you can get them commercial free on that bad. boy too. We just did an animation

damnation on it's coming out this month on Gem and the holograms. Hell yeah, that was fun. What was it called terrorist attack at the Indy-Five-500? Intrigue. Oh, interesting. Very, very fun episode. Hot dogs, mafia stuff, songs. I had a great time with that. That's a good one. We were talking

about a real fucking O.G. Oh, Neal Raygun. No, it's Newt. Newt Gunray on the Gleep Glossary, our Star Wars Shide Show, and this is the guy that runs the Trade Federation. from the prequels and yes we're doing it because we're in tariff town exactly that's why that worked also of course we've come to the explosive

conclusion of the daddy wars on no road 210 uh and we had a really just what you expect from a lifetime movie uh discussed on once in a lifetime pocket pocket dial murder not not but dial as it should be pocket dial murder if you're looking for it totally uh but that is uh the patron offerings for this month uh most of them of course the next is another thing coming out towards the end of the month. So that is that. And of course, you know, like every Tuesday here on We Hate Movies,

there's a brand new WHM hot out of the oven for you. Steve Sadek, what are we talking about next week? A long time coming. It's the craft. Oh, yeah. Getting witchy next week. That's right. Watch this one a lot growing up I did.

Oh, you know, I always wanted to be light as a feather. Too bad I'm stiff as a board right now. Well, I'm getting older, so I kind of want that, too. So until next week, when we see who among us is stiff as a stiff as a board right now. is aboard. I've been Andrew Jupin. Steve and say that. Eric Sisker. Chris Gavin. Take it easy.