We Hate Movies - S15 Ep800: 8MM - OUR 800TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

“Both [Cage] and George C. Scott [in Hardcore] share the same forehead sweat…” - Andrew  On this week’s very special episode, we’re celebrating EPISODE 800 with a very sleaze-tastic conversation on Joel Schumacher’s 8MM! How funny is it the screenwriter got upset that the content was toned down from his more hardcore vision? Was Cage’s Tom Welles in over his head with this case or was he just the man for the job? How funny is that scene with Gandolfini trying to skip town carrying several boxes of pornography? How great is Joaquin in this performance as Max California? And how terrifying is that final showdown at Casa de Machine? PLUS: “Marc Maron” asks Machine who his guys are! 8MM stars Nicolas Cage, Joaquin Phoenix, James Gandolfini, Peter Stormare, Anthony Heald, Catherine Keener, Myra Carter, Amy Morton, and Chris Bauer as Machine; directed by Joel Schumacher. This episode is brought to you in part by Car Gurus! Buy or sell your next car today with Car Gurus at cargurus dot com. Go to cargurus dot com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. Tickets are going fast for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20. Tickets are going fast—our shows on Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser are already SOLD OUT—so don’t wait, snag your tix today!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, this is about as sleazy as we'll get on the main feed. It's 8mm. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seda. Eric Siska. Chris Cabot, and that is 800mm, motherfucker. That's right, because this is the 800th episode of We Hate Movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies.

Thank you for tuning into the fine program today. That's right. Holy crap, you guys, 800 episodes. What? We're going to watch a snuff film. We're making the eighth one. Let's do it. It's the eighth episode or we're watching snows.

Yay. Please find them. Please. Oh, I'm an old ghost in a wheelchair. That poor girl from Blondie. Find her. Where's she go? Yeah, we're talking 1999's 8mm

millimeter directed by Steve's best friend, Joel Schumacher. I held the door from. We had a nice movie experience. we were watching Spector together. I was unemployed. Him and his very handsome young friend there. Companion. We all had to exit the theater because it's supposed to be Spector

and Spotlight starts playing like Boston, 1976. And we're like, what? This is an interesting for James Bond. And then we realized it's not. And then I held the door for him on the way out. He said, wow, what a gentleman. I'm like, yeah. So I'm a gentleman to Joel.

Nice. Did he turn to the other guy, like, see, that's what a gentleman? He had like a 20,000 body count. He might have tried to snare you in his web. Oh, no, he would have ate you. What a great story that would be. He ate him up and out, dude. And then he ate my ass.

It was fantastic. The machine showed up. Oh, the machine showed up. Oh, God. By the way, this movie written by Andrew Kevin Walker, he's disowned this movie. Right. Oh, come on. This is what I love, though.

He disowned this movie because they toned it down and got this stuff. And toned it down from the writer of the writer. of seven, uh, 2023 is the killer, previous episode brain scan, Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow that came out the same year as this movie.

He's great, he's great, but three great movies. Seven, the killer and Sleepy Hollow. I would have liked to have seen the dirtier version of eight millimeter. I read some,

apparently some of the changes was to the ending and I agree with Schumacher's edit there of making it machine a regular guy versus like a Jason Vorhees like monster. You're supposed to be like disfigured and everything like this. And it's just handsome Chris Bauer

being a fucking psychopath and if you want if you want to watch the cool thing is if you want to watch Nicholas Cage Huntdown Disfigured Monsters Go watch Mandy, it's super fun Really good. Speaking of which How about this, Steve? You just, you went right into the next thing I was going to bring up. So Andrew Kevin Walker, his next project

is he's writing, he's co-writing with Panos Cosmitos Who directed Mandy and Beyond the Black Rainbow, among other things. It's called Flesh of the gods. Oh yeah. Oscar Isaac and Kay Stu, listen to this. Married couple in 1980s, Los Angeles leaves luxury life for nightly adventures with an enigmatic, nameless, and hedonistic

group entering surreal worlds of excess and violence. This has been on the, on the to-do list since Mandy came out. This has been, he's been trying to get this done for a while. On my to-do list, where are these hedonistic cults bringing me in for the fun? Yeah, totally. Anything to get Oscar Isaac out of the Jesus movies, whatever we need to do. Oh, right, he's too busy finding the comments. comedy in Jesus.

Jesus was a real Don Rickles, according to him. Was it just a cartoon? It was just the cartoon. He hasn't gone full of Jesus. No, but one's enough. Once plenty. And honestly,

he didn't go fund me, go fund me, Oscar. We'll do it. What was that called? Across Spider-Verse? Was that what that was that? The Christ-averse. Across the Christ-a-verse,

I think was what I was. You got to find God. Well, you know what? No, let's go back to actual hedonistic cults. Coming soon. It's about this fucking hedonistic is a guest. supposed to be a celebration of the show, a nice, good vibe time. Well, this is part of it, Eric.

I'm sorry to say it's this part of it. I'm picking up bad vibrations. Now, let's all get very competitive. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, yeah, sports. Men, men, men. That's right.

Eat your heart out, ringer. Indeed, men. This is the VHS trailer game. We're competitiveists. All get out. It's true. It's true. We are here today.

on our eighth hundredth episode to pick it back up it's been a bit uh we are currently at scores are oh god 28 for stephen yeah 26 for andrew all right and 24 oh eric they were at one point literally one one one you get one right you could change your number one that's right that's how easy it could go right now well you know okay so we're going to start off now i have two here. Now for the summer extravaganza, I've done something a little special here. I love it. There are a lot of these where we are getting

old ones that we've already done. I don't want to be doubling up on stuff. So you're celebrating the show history. Well, a little bit actually here. What we're doing is we've got three from the actual VHS and then we have three from a movie that we did she's all that in a summer blockbuster extravaganza way back when before the DHS trailer

game ever existed. I wasn't on that episode. It's a handicap. I get extra bonus. What does the episode have to do with it? I didn't watch it. The sun was out that day. I should get a fucking free point. Yeah. Yeah. It's got out bonus. Zero points for Eric. That's a number and you'll have it. You'll enjoy. I know that's how it's going. Folks at home, Chris Cabin pretending to type a note on his phone when he said that was very funny. Eric, it's one. No, zero. Um, okay. So we are already here guys. Okay. Ready as we'll ever be. Now, actually this one, I This is a special.

If anyone gets this, double. Double points. If anybody, because there's a chance, one of you knows it. But I don't think so. On 8mm VHS.

This was on 8 millimeters VHS. So, 1999. Yes, indeed. Okay. Great year for movies, and this movie proves it. Vincent Dinoffrio stars as Valentino in this 1998 sex work-centric drama,

in which, among other things, he indulges in a threesome with Samaheic Penalt is that the yeah okay and Gary Thomas Jane wow wow this sounds like a hot little pictures

totally I wish Nicholas Cage was looking to see if this movie was real I think of the wrong movie it's too late it's not that one I feel like I can maybe see like a poster kind of deal here can we kick the can yeah I got nothing

the can. Okay. So are all rounds double? It would be eight minutes? No, just this one. No, but like, so now instead of four, you would get eight. Okay. I like where this is going.

Okay. Oh, man, you guys know the numbers of the points. Five, four, three, two, one. That's okay, sports guy. Thomas Jane's character's name makes a part of this film's type. Ooh. Big Dick Charlie. Now that's not my answer.

Hung was a television show. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. but DeNafrio is the lead even though you're saying Thomas Jane's character's name is kind of part of the movie. Vincent DeNofrio's name is Valentino

Samaheig's name is Mary and Thomas Jane's name is Gary. Gary Mary see it's a little nice they might be a little bit of a mirror for each other Oh I got nothing man I'm not a Gary movies That this is a little

One dude who worked at a mom and pop video store in 1999 is screaming and his Yeah he's Coup Deville right now. There was a VHS for this for sure. There have to be. Is it out of print now? Is this like... I don't know actually. Eric, I think it might have been on Pluto possibly. Was it commissioned by an old rich

guy? Please find the Thomas Jade movie? And it's directed by Dino Velvet. Once the title is revealed, Steve's going to be like, oh, I almost spent $130 on a VHS take on eBay for that movie. Okay. So third clear.

Okay. It's similar in mood to films like train spotting and other AIDS movies of the time co-stars Olivia Diabo and Khalil Kane probably not made probably. Yeah, yeah. Olivia Diabo, I assume.

Love you Diablo. No the face, know the name. It's just such an indie something around. It's really. I'm sure he's got a green tinge on the screen. Oh, hazy cinematography. Okay, so tagline. One sexy girl. Two hot guys. A million possibilities. Oh, wow.

Two hot guys. is it called Eiffel Tower I am sorry Steve you are out I am sorry With a valiant effort though You tried I like that Last clue Yeah

You'll never survive the Eiffel Tower Most people do and say it's quite nice We didn't bother waiting on the line The rest of the film's title involves speed Speed the word speed The idea Like the drug or like vrum vroom vroom Gary 100 miles per hour

I'm sorry no I would have I would see that movie I would have liked to see that movie That's maybe a movie Thomas Jane has made since then Eric you just Nothing No nothing Okay guys it is called the Velocity of Gary

No Yes it was The Velocity of Gary's cock That sounds like a fake movie that we would make up During a riff Yeah we might have done it We might have wished it. So let's push it on here.

Number two. All right. Okay. Though not exactly heat caliber, this cast, this film cast two of the most beloved dramatic actors of the 90s against each other as curious neighbors. Curious neighbors. I was about to buzz in, but then I was like, curious neighbors. Wait a second.

I don't think so. Curious neighbors, big, two big actors of the time. Fuck. Two big guys of the 90s. Yes, of the two, not like blockbuster guys, but like actors everybody loves. Right. Okay. Playing curious neighbors.

Hmm. The whole nine yards? No. Yeah, he does live next to him. Yes. Right? Yeah, okay. Fuck.

Oh, man. Curious neighbors. Now, I don't mean direct, like. Oh, here we go. Tango down. Now you can do the real. I can do the real clue. No, but I think the neighbor, I don't know if it's right next or right, but they might be across the street.

I mean, that's not going to help me. Yeah. The geography of a fake. Anybody, next one, kick it. Okay. In traditional thriller fashion, the more paranoid of the two is a widow who lost his wife in a botched FBI. Stephen. Is it Arlington Road?

It is indeed Arlington Roads. Jeff Bridges and who? Tim Robbins. Rob and the bitch, I watched half of it the other day I watched half of Arlington Road the other day It was awful It's not bad

It was available And then I left Not so bad Fair enough I've never seen it actually He's like a domestic terrorist Yeah Yeah

Joe Cusack's wife Back when that was cool Oh yeah Okay number three Well it's cool now You just call the Patriot What by some people but not everybody.

Among the many disciples of Pulp Fiction is this dark comedy that winds its way from a boring shift at a grocery store to a chaotic and highly Andrew,

go. Correct. Damn. That fucking grocery store. That'll get you. Like, some of them have to be easy. I thought it was going to be two days in the valley. I thought it was going to be 20 bucks.

Do you ever see that one? No, there's a really movie called 20. I think it's like, I think Brandon Fraser's It's like about a $20 bill going around. Oh, wow. Oh, really? Yeah, I think I'm going to remember the cover.

Maybe I'm getting it wrong. No, no, I think it's a 10 note. I don't know. Sounds like that movie ripped off a face-to-face video from the fucking early 2000. I'm sure it did. Anyway, or the Simpsons episode there. Okay. Among the deluge.

Are we in question? Are we in 1999? Are we back? Oh, yeah. What's the? This is, she's all that. That's 98. I mean, it's not much of a different.

All right. Just check. Among the deluge of Shakespeare adaptations and quasi adaptations is this high school comedy about two undatable sisters. Stephen. Ten things I had about you. That is correct. Tame that true, bitch.

Tame it. That would have been weird for eight millimeter. I was going to guess O for a second. That movie is own comfortable. Oh, totally. Not great. That's how old is Iago. Oh, oh, boy.

Yeah. Okay. Oh. Nobody's seen it. Coming up after the ball game, it's, oh. Julia Stiles getting into some trouble there. And, of course, the station will be shutting down for good after that. This dark teen thriller was the directorial debut of one of the hottest screenwriters of the 90s,

starring an actress who was very familiar with his work. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Stephen. Is it teaching Mrs. Tingle? It is indeed. Yes, it is. That Kevin Williamson shit, I knew it.

Oh, I couldn't think of it. Jesus Christ. That's got a Barry, what the hell was that guy? Barry Watson. Watson. He was in the Nutcracker movie we did. Yes, oh, that's right. Was that with him and Melissa Joan Hart was that one?

Yeah, what a lonely character she was playing. You're sitting around watching that, though? No, we watched it for a little. You literally did it on the show. We did teaching Mrs. Tingle? No, the Nutcracker movie. Sure. Big Sweet Nuts or whatever it was called? Yes. I don't remember.

I remember Big Sweet Nuts. It's been 800. Larissa explains these nuts. People don't realize 800 main feed episodes like 1,500, everything. I don't know anything we've ever done. Yeah, it's where like the Nutcracker comes to life and she fucks it. Oh, right. That's a good one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once in a lifetime, yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, okay, last one. Okay.

A year after Rushmore, Olivia Williams had another awkward dinner date in the wake of tragedy in this unexpected hit Stephen is it the sixth sense it is indeed oh right she's the fucking wife that was unexpected with that star power of Bruce Willis

six cents I know I know M. Knight was new well I think at the time though like what was Bruce doing? Not much I mean he wasn't like Bruce Bruce he was like Mercury Rising excuse me 10 yards I hate What was that movie? Ten yards I hate about

you. Is that what you were about to say to me in this house? What was that? The nine dentists. The whole nine yards. I just said it the minute ago. I was going to say the whole nine artists. I don't know. That has been your VHS trailer game. There we go. I hope everybody's happy. Just remember I won one time.

I got a fun way to start because there's one title. One back, do you remember ladies and gentlemen? Okay. When you'd go to the movies and there was one production company title card and it was just It was just fucking Columbia and it would be the over with I watched the shrouds the other day in theaters I am not kidding you

when the same production company gets two separate title cards It's the beginning and the end Because you forgot about the production company Because so many other production companies Have come in between it I haven't seen that yet But there's I know what you're talking about

With all these logos And if you know you're just see that statue Shoot an arrow through a bunch of axes You're in trouble OTSG Oh my God I think the rule should be two total tops And then everybody else is just

They're listening to the credits anyway Just say their name Produced by so-and-so Well, you can say goodbye to our money I want my stupid little car Arriving into a 14-minute fucking thing Well that's what it is right Is so much of it

Like especially something like a Cronenberg movie That dude's got to fucking beg borrow And steal from whoever's going to get money And now the thing is like part of that is Yeah we work into the contracts So of course we're going to have a cool logo up front I don't know man Why don't you fucking hang back?

No, no, no, no, no. I know. I know all the owners are stupid, but let me tell you this. This one is, ours is a flower blooming underwater. Well, now that I know this, I'm going to wait for streaming, so I can fast forward. Jesus Christ. But wait a second, so which one debuts twice? Because I saw it before, it's picked up by any. I think it's SBS or something or SPS or something? I thought you're going to say Janice Sideshow was putting their logo on twice. No, no. I'm almost positive. I turned to Genesis. Was that the same logo twice? I think it was. Weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Janice Side Show picked it up after we saw it at Toronto This movie is a lot of fun I don't know if we need the Miami Adventure to start

There's places to cut Don't you want to know that he can do the job he does Well I have to say I was pretty surprised Just because like it's actually Nick Cage Boots on Ground in South Beach The fucking bird cage is going on right down the street And I should say it has been literally since I rented this movie on standard

deaf DVD at the tail end of 1999 when it came out in a home video so maybe early 2000, I don't know. That's the last time I'd seen it and I didn't remember, I mean, you know, you remember the fucking good stuff obviously. Sure. But I was like, the good stuff, but I was like oh cool, it takes place on Miami.

And like, you know, Chelsea's in the other room. I was going to be like, Babe, hometown movie! But it's like 60 seconds. I think that's even being generous. He's leaving. He's leaving right now. Fuck it. He's in like, who gives a shit, Pennsylvania? but it shows that like he's a private detective right this is the type of regular regular job he does it's not like one of those cold opens that's supposed to be

exciting it's like this is yeah this is a he's a regular work a day private did right but you're saying that maybe down the streets uh armand and those fellows are going who ha who i'm making a snuff thing someone someone a couple blocks down the road pierced the toast so i was like already for like a hot miami adventure with this snuff film i would that's i assume At some point, Armid did put money into a snuff film, but I feel like that's back. Accidentally. That's back in the 60s, probably. You know, Eric, this is different times now.

Nathan Lane crying when he sees it. I do. The funny thing about this is, like, you're used to private investigators being, like, sexy and stuff like this. The point of this is that, like, no. Yeah. He's a family man. He's going home to Catherine Keener and a baby.

He is not sex. There's no, like, leggy lady walking into. Well, that's what prevents this from being, like, categorizes a neo-noir. Sure. And he has to be, though. Like, you can't just have a sex guy type of guy going around, hunting sex people. Objection.

He's walking around with this sleeveless shirt. These arms are, the gun show starts at this movie quite early. Well, Bill, the sleeveless shirt is when he transforms when he's getting into deep. When he's literally six inches away from the television analyzing the fucking pornography that he's looking at. Yeah. Oh, no, it's just research. Yeah, no, no, no.

My body's throbbing for work. Look, you have to back up a couple frames there, Chip. want to make sure we're analyzing this properly. I would prefer cruising too. But like we're not going to get there. This clearly is not that movie. I wish, but we're not there. But yeah. I actually really like this movie. I think this is a sleesterpiece.

Dude, I saw you say that on the letterbox and I was like, I totally agree with that portmanteau. I absolutely do. This is a three and a half star threesterpiece. A sleesterpiece. I can't even say it. Neither can I. Sleesterpiece. Thing to point out, though, that's interesting. We were talking about like all the like stuff that had to get cut and whatever. the start of this movie

is you see a dude sitting next to an 8mm projector, he's smoking and there's something playing on a screen that you don't see. And one, the thing is, in a movie, if you see like smoke, like cigar, cigarette, whatever, smoke, go in front of a projector lens, it's either

old-timey Hollywood or someone's getting up to no good. Right, yes. Old timey Hollywood, we're killing the president or... Kill the president, also another one, yes. But what's crazy, so apparently, that's only a portion of what was supposed to be the original opening which is this is Mr. Christian

dude one last rodeo watching the snuff film that you made and then he finishes the film the film starts lapping up on the reel he puts the footstool out and hangs himself so the last thing on this earth that you did was watch that snuff film you paid a million dollars sounds pretty good

I was curious how often do you go back to it you know what I mean like it was the eight it was early 93 you know what I mean you already jerked off to it six times. That's a Christmas morning thing. Yeah, okay. Every year, I think you just go down there. You go down there, you know, no, but the kids

aren't up yet. You're up first. Don't I believe everyone's almost ready for Christmas. Will you be down, dear? Oh, don't forget to leave out a leather daddy costume for Santa. You know, it's about, it's about time for Bradley to be part of the family, and he finally will get to,

you know, Bradley, come in, you're 12 years old now, it's time for you to see your first. One day, this will all be yours. Now, take care of this more than any. Put your life on the line for this eight millimeter piece. Well, question about that hanging idea. Do you think he was trying to autoerotica at the end? Oh, maybe, yeah, go for the extra good idea.

You know, she's dying. You want to sort of die while she dies. Yeah, it's good. Well, you know what? It's sort of come when they come. Sure, yeah. You sort of die when they die. You know what this is a man of.

They call a little death, Eric. They really, yeah. The little death. You know a lot about that. He seems like a man of excess, Eric, so I'm going to say, you know, probably will be going for that. He probably wouldn't, you know, put the double fudge on top. I think that was the plot of a Flatliner's X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, Parity. Oh, shit.

Never saw Flatliners end end end, speaking to Joel Schumacher, but. Flatliners is great. It's a good movie, dude. I've got that Arrow 4K. It's a fun time. I like Joel Schumacher, I do, too. He's a really good, he's a, I would, it's kind of tough because he does have a style you could, like, you wouldn't guess it's a Joel Schumacher. Mocker movie, but when you find it, you're like, of course.

It's a very workman-like dude. With the exception of the Batman movies are very... But in a lot of it, though, and this has it, like, it's fucked up, but this has it, and the Batman movies definitely have it. Like, he's a working dude that was clearly putting the horniness on screen. Sure. Almost all the time. Yeah, oh, yeah.

They approached Fincher for this, obviously. It's too similar to a lot of his other stuff. But, like, he does have Fincher qualities. I could see Fincher doing falling down or this. Oh, yeah, I mean, that's, I mean, they would all be better movies, I think. Sure, but they're still not bad. This one still feels a little Fincher-y to me. Like, I think a lot of the visuals also look finchery.

I think I do. I was kind of waiting for it to push further in. I was waiting for it to get harder than it is. I know that sounds weird. Push further in, get harder than it is. L-O-L. Look, I have a fun here. We'll get to do it.

I think this was too long. I think that it's I like it I think but it's also elevated by a stellar wall-to-wall cast for classic late 90s everyone's fucking and everyone's going for it

you know what I mean everybody knows that they're in a movie where a dude is trying to find out whether or not a snuff film exists like that in itself like you adjust the fucking thermometer in your head to this is the kind of movie on me and everybody nails it

he is speaking of a great cast he has Catherine Keener as benign wife number one But, like, she's got, I mean, it's, it's not as bad as Patricia Clarkson in the Untouchables where she's just smiling the entire time. Well, because this movie actually bothers to check back in on her and it actually, well, I mean, we got a movie to tell you to Steve. I know, I'm just saying, but you want her to watch the snuffield? You want her to watch it? Actually, yes.

It gives him stakes towards the end of something to fight for. That's really what this family. Of course. And also, it's not just a constant nagging or whatever. Like, it's escalating every time to, like, this job is, like, taking over. Like, our marriage is failing. Do you care about this family? Hello.

I do love just, again, he comes in, he's like, oh, hey, how's a textbook business? And she's like, well, you know, they gave, I asked her writing for 4,000 words, and they gave me 10,000. That's a lot of words. So it's basically, like, what do people do? Editing something is less words than more words. It's just too many words, bad. Exact words, good. Is she editing the book or is she writing a text book?

I thought she was editing. Oh, I see. Okay. Well, don't worry, Steve. There's a woman in this movie. It's Mary Ann. Mary Ann. Also, yeah, I couldn't even remember her name.

Mrs. Christian. Oh, Mrs. Christian's a great female character. Also, isn't the senator that he just got paid off? That's a woman senator? Oh, yeah. So what is the case that he brings back to Harrisburg, PA? Wait, the one in Miami? Yeah, because he brings it back to the senator.

It's the son? It's, yeah, cheating. It's, it's, um, the son is like a cock-up. The son-in-law is cheating. Oh, okay. That's going to cause the senator pain. The mother-in-law is like, I tried to tell her that this guy was no good. My stupid daughter didn't listen to me. It's that basic, kind of a fucking birdcage plot a little bit.

Yeah, I mean, it's that basic private investigator line of work that made me always want to be one. You just watch random people have sex. You take photos. And you get paid for it. And you get like a, not only get paid, but in like an envelope or a manila. You just want per diem, dude. You want a daily... We've talked about this.

You know, we've talked... You've been denied many times in this show. Daily per diem not going to happen. I'm developing all these roles of photos that I'm taking of people having sex. I'll find who to sell them to later. That's a great idea, dude. Honestly, and to quote Jack Nicholson into the bucket list, this is living. That's a job, dude.

That is a fucking J-O-B job. I only have so much room, Eric. I can't keep putting these things in my house. And I already have one fucking storage unit. There's more room bend over and I'll show you. I'm not, my ass. If I only put it pushed harder and harder. He's got a precious baby daughter, of course.

Cinderella. Cindy is her name. He calls her Cinderella. Hey, Cinderella. By the way, this is, this is, this is, this is, this cage's hair. What are we doing here? Oh, this is, dude, you can see, and I was going to say, I rented this on Apple. No, it's not.

Whoa. I rented this on Apple. The transfer is terrible, except for in this one moment, Cage is on the phone or something, and there's this weird, like, pseudo-loom angle close up of him and you can see it's the stitch job dude it's the fucking I sat under a fucking cheap sewing machine

and for $50,000 someone scammed Nick no no baby no that's back what he was at least like well people know I've losing my hair so I gotta have a leash a little bit of a little something yeah but this is like who got into it worse and now also we should say of course we do appreciate Travolta and his bald

era but I'll be joining him in like four years but whose hair who who did it worse of denying the inevitable. Was it Cage or was it Travolta? Shatner. The answer as always is William. I'll say, William Shatner.

I will say Travolta, because he really tried to rock that full head forever. At least Cage was like trying to fake the funk with the falling of the Empire. Well, because even Cage with like the pseudo-wittos peak and like you've got the side, like it's not balding in the middle, but it's going on the sides.

It actually still looked good. He's trying for like a Nicholson hairline. Yes. Yes, exactly. I mean, it took Pitbull to get John Travolta to accept his bald. And he looks fucking great ball. That's the thing. You know what?

The whole country, we should be thanking pit bull. Look, the whole, like, if you go cue bald and then you bring a beard into it, it works almost every time. Example, we watched some Netflix documentary about some fucking scumbag mommy blogger that was like abusing her kids because she got involved in like some pseudo-religious cult with some lady. How'd you look with the beard? the husband or I guess the ex-husband or whatever this dude who you see him in all like the early mommy vlogging videos and it's just like fucking nothing nothing just scraps up Homer Simpson scraps up top right and then clean shaven

well when the dude presents himself for the interview segments of the scripts totally cube bald he's got the beard he's looking fucking fantastic man totally what kind of call was this was this Scientology no it was like a like this lady was like a mommy blogger like come along with our family. I've got six fucking kids and all this shit. And then she met like some lady and that lady was like giving bad

advice and the bad advice turned into this lady was saying she was possessed and this woman was believing it and this woman thought the kids were fucking being possessed and she was taking away she was making them sleep not in their bed like they were being denied their bedrooms. I don't know. Possession happens every day in America. It does.

By the way speaking of Scientology what does it say about Scientology that Pitbull had to solve John Travolta's greatest problem. Honestly, yeah. Oh, they've fallen off. Are you kidding me? I'm going to pray to the Church of Mr.

Worldwide from now on. I honestly, he should be taking more essential. Because I honestly, they've fallen off. Ever since everybody's been like, oh, where's Miss Cavage's wife? You know what? Honestly, it buried them. Yeah, no one's got the answer for that one.

That poor dead woman. You're not even like a big villain anymore, bro. I wonder if you've gone. This is why. Oh, dude, I suspect machine had something to do with Mrs. Ms. Cavage. Chris, you're right.

He's not a big guy anymore. That's why I don't kick a man when he's down. That's, it's fine. You know what? So it's fine. But, yeah, so 8mm. He gets called, he's a private detective. He gets called.

That's what I love about this movie. It's like, again, like, Stackcast. When the lowly lawyer is Anthony fucking healed, you're in good, good, great, by the way, this ties in for our Gleap Glossary. We're doing color this month. You don't know who he is. Don't worry about it. But the audio book is narrated by this actor.

Anthony. Oh, hell. Oh, no. Color. Color was May. Colors May, because he's coming up. We're doing stuff so far in advance. Is this June?

This is May. We're in May. This is now now. And color will be May. Because yesterday we did, but yesterday we did the June Gleep Gloucester. Yes. Which wasn't, which was Peat, which is not color. I'm talking about the one that's coming out this month.

I know. My point is we're having to live in like three timelines simultaneously to get all this work done before Oxford, which, by the way, buy a ticket, W. WHMBACS.com. This is what he wanted to get to get it. Oh, that's what was happening. You're grilling me. No, I was also just legitimately confused at the top.

Anthony Held is like, hey, yeah, you know, you know, Mrs. whatever wants to see you. And he's like, oh, it's a succession house. Yeah, it's a succession house out of the aisle. Just take a left. It's the big succession house all the way in the back. With the elephant in the front yard. Yeah, the full-on zoo, the working zoo.

Bullshit thing in the trivia, by the way. I don't know, you checked out the trivia. One of the things is like, oh, this whole thing of Nicholas Cage being driven up to this house is referencing when Carrie Grant is brought up to the Long Island house in North by Northwest. And I was like, no, it's not. It's just two big houses on Long Island. There are many of them. Don't break your back stretching to make this a trivia event.

Does he go to Mount Rushmore? Oh, my God. The snuff film was buried at the top of Mount Rushmore. That would make more sense. He is, I keep doing it. I think this is him and his most Jimmy Stewart for some reason. Cage?

Yeah, Cage. Well, because he's doing like... Oh, they're going to kill that girl. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, machine, get out of here. Oh, get out of here. Machine living with your mother.

Mr. Gower, you were wearing the mask the whole time. Oh, turn it off. Turn it off. Oh, wait, I can turn it off. I mean, I think it's because he's playing it, like, so internalized. And, like, I guess he said, like, he didn't want to cage out, as we call it nowadays. Well, because he's also, Like, it goes back to the private investigator thing.

He's a family man. Like, it's not like, I mean, like, I'm used to the scumbag. The scumbag would kind of be like smoky's super, like, oh, wow, kind of a looker. He does the same exact thing, funny enough, when he re-teamed with Schumacher in that trespass movie. With him and Nicole Kidman, it's like a home invasion movie. No, I've ever seen that one. It was late night. Yeah, like, it's not amazing.

It's late period, Joel Schumacher, but it's like a, I'm sort of a reserve family man. But you're coming after my. family now and I'm going to get you and it's that kind of like he's a low-key dude at the start of it. I think he's good in this. Oh, I do. Take that throbber out of my face. Oh, no. Your office smells like condoms.

I'll never get tired of hurting you. Yeah, but this is Daniel Lonsdale is Anthony Heald's character's name here and yes, it's the lawyer that like, he's the lawyer to these rich people on retainer. This fella has just died. Nicholas Cage sees the head. headline. It's like rich old bastard dead at 81 when he's in the senator's house or whatever. And so this is the rich old bastard that's dead. And this lady's like, oh, yes, we potentially have a case for you. I'll leave it to Dr. Chilton to explain. It is great because like, they're like, oh, yes, we found this little safe in his office. And it took us three days to open it. And like, dude, especially if you're, if this guy is hanging himself, clear your browser history. Burn that tape. You know, like, yeah.

Nobody, I mean, I guess you want to be found Maybe this is your point possibly Oh yeah, I think she wants to be found out I think she wants it all to come out I mean, I mean, if you're on your way out Dude fucking clear history man But sometimes you'll leave it up to her You're rushing out the door sometimes though

That's true, you never know I mean if you did see him end it all on screen though at least then it is You could perceive it as like a I mean yeah I guess one for the road But then also like I feel bad that I commissioned this work of art, question mark. Work of art.

Big, big quotes around that one. Chris, all movies are arts. Sure, I guess. Stop this thing. It's low brow. So she's watched this already, and she's like, oh, please tell me it's fake. Please tell me there is no jigsaw.

Someone showed me a movie where two men were in a bathroom tied up together. Please tell me it's fake. Yeah, I'll take $50,000 to investigate if Saul. the franchise is real. Did your grandson come by recently? Was he filming, watching movies here? Please tell me those campers are all right at Cramp, Crystal Lake. Oh, please.

Oh, you're telling me that rotten, dead janitors killing innocent children in their dreams. I'm sorry, but Jason Voorhees is real. Save me. Well, I'm going to calm you down, first of all. We're not in Texas. So, and I, you know, the house in that one is much smaller. So it was just a regular chainsaw massacre.

That's a relief. My husband commissioned the regular chainsaw massacre. No, you see, because we're not on a spaceship so that it can't be possessed by the devil. I was just afraid of an event horizon. That's not to be confused with Jason X, madam. Oh, boy. I just, you know, I was doing this Rubik's Q, but I was just afraid of centipide by January. That movie kept me up for weeks.

My husband brought it back from the wall. No, no, you can go up in the attic. Nobody's up there. Are I'm going to take $70,000 to look through your blockbuster records. Well, you know what? Actually, having read about your husband, your late husband there, I got to say there might be people under the stairs. You know, that one you might want to check.

Did your husband don't any other property, madam? It's a big house. It's a lock in any of these doors. Please tell me, Josh wasn't killed in the place. play a witch project. Well, you know what? I'm going to have to look into that. That poor fat boy was just

staring at the corner of that basement. Did Casey Affleck really do a bunch of cocaine and go down the street for me? I need to know if it's real. I'm going to have to bump up that per diem. Oh, my goodness, you're telling me, the talking heads actually

played that concert. You can't know. It can't be true that Neil Young did cocaine. It cannot be true that he had cocaine on his nose. Billy Mitchell's Donkey Kong record is in serious trouble. Please tell me it's fake. The king of Kong is fain.

There's no way a guy with hair and beard like that is a real person. Tell me how to punish them. Tell me! Anthony Heald is explaining what they saw on the film reel. Because Cage is like, it appears as if you have a real film here. And Anthony Heald like explains what's on it To which Cage responds What you seem to be talking about

Is a snuff film And I realize what's going on here Right with this movie This movie has a A little bit of a hurdle to get over Which is you have to make sure Everybody in the auditorium Knows what a snuff film is

What a responsibility And that they're basically an urban myth You know what I mean? I'm sure somewhere somewhere Someone's been killed on film But like It's called the fucking nightly news.

This is a Pruder film. There's some footage from the Twilight Zone movie. Something got left in daily. Please tell me, Vic Morrow's all right. Actually, with that one, ma'am. Please punish that man. There's a book. It's hard to find, but I'll get it to you. Now, there's a certain kind of person.

Sure. And that person is 100% of fella every single time. These dudes exist, where these dudes will find themselves in a position where they maybe need to like tell somebody something from their past. Don't bring up my stuff. Not your search history.

And it may not be true. Okay. It's not true. Anybody have this. So I used to work with a guy. Okay. Massive scumbag. Just the absolute most massive scumbag.

He was an older dude. I'm right here. No, way older than you. Okay. And this dude, you know, he, he'd like to tell you what the old days were like, man. He was just this old Bronx dude, right? I'm right

here. So now here's where you will not be here. So back when the Bronx was burning the blackout in 1977 right? So this dude's telling us about all the crazy stuff that was going on. And of course, like we know from the news like high crime and this and the other thing. Well, this fella's telling this story and he's like, yeah, so I wound up this one night, man.

hanging out hell's angels running around the Bronx with the hells angels we get this burned out plays or sipping some beers you know just hanging out then one of the hell's angels man you know they go hey man hey I'm gonna say his name okay hey buddy you want to see a snuff film oh fuck yeah and then these hell's angels man they showed me a snuff film really and like everybody like left work that day and was texting and was just like, that dude's completely full of shit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it was about this guy, Charles Foster King. Okay? His last words are on screen. It's fucking fucked up, man. He dies on film. Fucking right there, dude. God kills him on film. He drops the snow globe.

But we were just like, why on earth? Would you think you're going to like score cool points with the younger kids at work by telling them that you saw a snuff film with biker? Well, you're out there. You're on the edge, man.

Now you're working at a movie. You're definitely lying. I'd be impressed. Yeah, you're definitely lying. Or the hells angels lied to you and it was like just, you know. That's what he's one of these fakers that Nicholas Cage finds in this movie. This is like, well, these things can be faked, ma'am, special effects. Ma'am, if you went to the end of this snuff film

when the credits roll and it says special effects by Tom Savini, it means it's a fake snuff film man there was there were five different movie production logos at the stuff I do think though like is restrained as cages and he is he's not full caging out this very year he's doing bringing out the dead where he's wackadoo cage yeah great movie too incredible but I feel like if I watched the snuff film I don't know how I'd react but I don't know if I'd react as if I was getting punched in the stomach over and over oh yeah well it's one of those things where it's like you'd love it

just what you're saying. You're getting the direction from Schumacher and the direction is pretend you're watching a snuff film and you just can't imagine what that's like and I guess I'd pretend like I got a tummy ache. That's the thing is this is where you want the scumbag who's just smoking the cigarette. They're like any other day man. But it's supposed to, he's in every

man, he's got this family. You know, young women matter to him now. I mean, which they should always. But you know, it's just, it's like it's not just a tummyache, it's like a soulache. Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. both he and George C. Scott share the same forehead sweat in this and hardcore.

Yes, very, there's, yeah, similarities on this movie. Because there is, I mean, he does pull a little bit of a, George C. Scott, like, hand gesture when he's what. The, uh, I have to, like, put my hand over my forehead. Like, I just got a headache because I'm watching this. A hardcore features the exact same thing a little bit. But so she's basically like, listen, I want you to investigate it. That's where the joke we're making.

She's like, please tell me it's fake. Go in the other room. We've got the print set up for you in the screening room. We're going to have ourselves a little bit of a watch party. We got ourselves some popcorn, the caramel and the cheddar. Put a little glass in my cognac, and I had a machine film festival last night. Oh, don't put on the black light in here. I had Jimmy Spice on the little dancing popcorn. Let's all go to the lobby.

Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby and kill ourselves a bitch. Quick question, Mrs. Christian, can I have a diet Coke before we talk? I just can't watch a movie without a diet Coke. Samuel, he would like to have a diet. Do you want some ice on that? Fountain soda, please.

The fountain. From the fountain. Fountain, not icy, sir. Okay, thank you. We have also slurpees available. Now we have the pearl ice or the full cube. Can I interest you in a pizza, nachos, hot dog, or just the popcorn? You know, we can put snow cap.

in your popcorn. It's quite tasty. We have the mix-and-match candy station, of course, if you would like to take apart. The mixed licorice, of course, is a favorite of mine. Please don't do the popcorn trick. Oh, I miss my husband so much. He was such a big Mickey Rock fan. Oh, here's the novelty popcorn container

they made for the snuff film at the concession again. It's just a dead girl's head. Yeah, there's no hole in it because your dick should be soft The popcorn's falling through the holes in her neck So he's like, I'm going to treat it like a missing person's case He goes to Catherine Keener is like, listen I'm going to hit the road for a while

It could be a couple weeks, could be a couple months, who knows But this is going to set us up for life essentially, you know what I mean? Yeah, this is the real payday. This baby is days old and she's like, thanks, dude. Yeah, she's also like, oh cool, I didn't know we had money problems And it's great because he's kind of like he doesn't say this but the response and the reaction is kind of like

well we're Americans we fucking mostly all have money problems but I also imagine this is the fifth like this is going to set us up for the rest of our life this is going to I just I'm working for a senator this time Dave that's what you said about the chain

of car washes we invested in we're that way of us no yeah and now you're a self-employed a private investigator great this is the beginning it's a little sleepy here I mean it's I like all this research stuff yeah exactly like he goes to this missing persons agency and he's like oh hey like I'm a private

detective looking for this girl and whatnot like let me comb through it's a little bit of a paperwork montage do you think this is true that 850,000 to 1 million people go missing every year absolutely that's awesome at the time not like I mean like people want to disappear sometimes you know well those people are cool

but I don't think general disappearing I do I think those people are cool the people that drop out on their own accord yeah sure 100% what's beautiful about that half of them turned out to be what should be call it McCandless they're just dead to fucking campers that's true

which is a fine ending as well but like they eat them berries dude you try to drop out of society back then it was easier 90s it was still pretty hard but it's easier than the now oh yeah

and then like there's so many other people that are gone oh yeah you get lost in the shuffle right right right right I don't like the people who get lost not of their own accord and like it's not all people who fucking, you know, let the moose meat go bad. That's not everybody.

Yeah, not everyone shot the moose. You shouldn't have shot the moose. A million people a year, though, is like, that's crazy. That's a lot of people. I mean, it was at the time. Also, remember, I don't know what the number is now. Do you think it's more? Probably.

Well, it depends on who you talk to. You're talking to an executive at Angel Studios. It's $35 million. It's 10 million, yeah, 45 million. That's the thing is they only have the worldwide number. They would, like, America doesn't fucking matter. No, no, no, this is why people care about population decline. One of the reasons, I guess.

There's a lot of reasons. You know, going through it, it is a fun montage. Or not fun montage, but cool. He's doing research, and he finds that the film stock was superlux. He calls a lab, and it's like, oh, superlux film stock was discontinued in 1992 or whatever. So he's able to determine. And this is kind of a weird whatever. He's like, oh, because she says something like, well, that means that this happened six years ago.

And he's like, yes, that's right. I was like, well, no, like, you can hold on to film stock, and as long as it's, like, okay. Deadstock like your daughter. I just meant they could have shot it, like, you know, two weeks ago as long as the film stock was a guy. It was made six years ago. But to that point, they could have made it before it went discontinued at all. It could have been more than six years ago. Right.

Yes, exactly. So it's not a great gauge, but it's what the movie decided to go with as a gauge. To make it believable, the fact that he is now fishing, just spending his days going through hundreds of photos of missing children and young people and just looking for this one girl. Which he's going to find. Please do find.

I have another job for you after this. You need to go to South America. There was this team that went out there killed by a predator. I just need to know that that was fake. Madam Dutch was really died in the fucking forest. He lives at the end. He lives.

He lives. He's all right. My friend didn't watch the ending. Or then I heard a follow-up report where those same nasty aliens went to Los Angeles and bothered some nice police officers. Yeah, but it was in the future, which is now. Inside that, chef, there was also a videotip. It looked like it was breathing a little bit.

Anyway, could you go to Toronto? So he does find the photo that matches a frame that he pulls from the movie. Yes. This is Mary Ann Matthews, who has indeed been reported. missing since 1993. We go to see Marianne Matthew's mother six years ago. And so this is

the actress Amy Morton. Anybody recognize Amy Morton? I did. She's rookie of the year. Yeah, the mom from rookie of the year. Nice. I wish her kid went missing in that movie. What was that kid? Hey, I'm the new pitcher. My name's machine. Pitching machine.

I do. Thomas Ian Nicholas Yes. She's a great actor. I saw her on Broadway doing Virginia, who's referred to Virginia Woolf? Nice. With, uh, what's his face there? I don't know.

Carrie Coon's husband. Tracy Letts. Tracy Lance. Tracy Lynde's fucking might as well. No, but I, I, oh, the time. But he's great. She was great. She's really great.

Oh, yeah, she's fantastic. And actually, she's good at this, too. Like, her breakdown at the end is like really hard. Oh my God, dude. Yeah, that's a, that's like, it's one of those things where like, and again, like, I think Eric and I may be like this movie a little more than the other two, but it's, but it's, like, it's like, like the movie's fine and then when that scene

happens I was like oh this is for like a way better movie exactly she's so good in that scene but she's like working at a grocery store and he's like hey can I come over later and I'm from this agency we're just basically like checking in to see

what is his excuse like to see if we're going to keep up the investigation if it's still worth it yeah we're going to keep it open the FBI agent Neil Cole who is definitely real did it call you oh he didn't Oh, wow. Weird.

Yeah, he does probably great. Oh, yeah, FBI agent. And she's like, Colt. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the one. I love her so many times in this movie. Later on, he, like, just calls random hospitals. He's like, yeah, this is a lieutenant to whatever now at the 13th Street. Yeah, he's just faking it.

And he's good with fucking around on the phone, dude, because he calls Gandalfini at that one point. He's like, I know what you're up to. This is a Saul Rosenberg. Yeah, that's right, you scumbag. And I did just fall and break my glasses. No, but that used to be what got you You know, the internet again ruined this, but being able to charm someone over the phone

Oh yeah, totally That was the key to the city back in the day Oh, you can still get it up to the telemarketer Extraordinary You can still get an old person on the phone Oh absolutely dude who's happened And my grandfather pretty much right up until the day he died That's what they do

What I'm not doing the show, that's what I do Scaming people asking for fucking Cash cards to get sent I call up old ladies and I'm like Yeah, that was a snuff film Give me money No, she really died. No, no, no, she's really dead.

She's dead. Give me the money. It's great. So she's like, she brings them home to investigate a little bit. He's looking at her head. Here's the thing. I know she's depressed. No one's cleaning this toilet in fucking six years.

Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing about what's going on. It's the last of her, okay? It's an average American home. I was. Our audience is, their toilets are like that. Listen, I was. Joan Cold Sober watching this movie this morning

and I was paying attention the whole time this cut is so extreme because like the house itself is fine and we're talking in the kitchen and it's whatever he goes into this bathroom and I was like what barn did he walk into? Where is this? It felt like it was at a completely different location there's just like stray boards of wood all over the place.

It's a seven bathroom is what it is. John Doe took a shit here yesterday. I'll step away from that California. John Doe doesn't want to see the load of the left of toilet. He became rath in that bowl. You want me to clean the hair off this sink? That's the last of Mary right there. She's not

coming back. You know, you could put a, like, a blue little, a little toilet clip. You don't even have to do the work. It's a little disc you put in there. It does the work for it. And you have a little tropical little pea there. And I got to say, I mean, what was the name of that FBI?

It's a tropical pea. This lady, right, is like Like her daughter has now been missing If this movie takes place in 1999 Let's just say it does The daughter has been missing for six years You didn't have to lift the top of your toilet tank In six years

Even like oh man the fucking thing The handles jiggling too much Yep got to open the toilet tank and investigate Because he finds this hidden diary Mr. Smarty Pants, okay No, I have been pissing in the sink Mr. Well that's a great part Because she opens shitting in the yard

Nothing wrong with them He finds the diary instead of his Ziploc bag Which part? Both. All right. Fair enough. Dyer instead of a Ziploc bag. And she, the note is just like, Hi, Mom, I know you found. Mary Ann Matthews assumed, well, I assumed you would clean the toilet in like a month or so. Seriously. If you found this, it means I'm off in Hollywood and I'm a big star.

And I was like, lady, you got to clean this toilet. I sure hope you didn't wait six years to fucking clean your toilet. Who says that she's doing it after this? But she's definitely not, by the way. But it's this whole thing of the letters like, me and. Warren are moving to Hollywood and he's gonna be an action star and I'm gonna he says I can be a big star too

and blah blah blah he's gonna be one of the Boondock Saints it's a sad story because like they got an argument about the stepdad apparently no funny business of stepdad we're told thank you movie yeah I mean we're already dealing with a fucking snuff film case here this girl

didn't have to be abused at home also but the mom slapped her in an argument and she took off the next day she left so like it's been haunting this woman This girl confirms in the letter that the slap had nothing to do with it. You got to clean that toilet lady. All sorts of secrets will become clear to you

once you clean your fucking toilet. Also, that's why, like, it's running. Don't you hear this? Doesn't that bother you? Don't you try to watch Wheel of Fortune and you're like, what is that noise? You know, I do not respond well to people who try to tell me what to do.

I fixed you a drink. Oh, yeah. She wants to get to third base with Mr. fucking fool here. Let's fuck the guy who's trying to find my daughter. How rude is he not accepting? these drinks. These are nice, hefty pores. I would say in many scenes in this movie, he's being downright. I mean, to Peter Stormere later, he treats. Not so well. You got to be nice to

people. Be very nice. Especially that dude, who signs his name with a spider drawing. He's an artist. Oh, sure. That's true. Which outranks artists. Artiste. But so yeah, he's like, he finds the diary. He does, he leaves the diary in a place. He's just not going to look at the fucking toilet. But he six years. He fucking takes it. first that it's a give back in another scene later that's right yeah I'll just need this for now I'm gonna photocopy the whole fucking thing puts it with his ass

sticks in the back of his jeans or whatever which is not up his ass down his ass it's fine and we find Norman Redis who's her boyfriend he's in the clink baby my god tiny baby Norman Redis my favorite kind of character

in a movie very similar another Andrew Kevin Walker movie what's his face from 7 the the porn district I mean the guy's like, do you like your job? No, I don't. These people who know that they're trash goblins and throw it in your face. Yep, exactly.

You got a problem with how I live because I dirt? He's like, yeah, I'm in prison. I'm a piece of shit. So what? Let me get a cigarette. They exist. They exist. How often you clean your toilet?

Huh? I'm so glad I'm in jail. The toilets here are cleaner than the ones at Marianne's mom's house. At least I'm not scared to take a shit. They've got a spider. It's going to bite my ass. That's why we were fleeing at California. Just clean toilets, as far as you can see.

Mr. Wells, I have another job for you. I just saw a movie where an African-American man is killing vampires in Los Angeles. Please tell me Deacon Frost isn't coming into power. Please. I'm afraid we're at the end of humanity. Wait a minute. There's a blade, too? They're called blood raves, man.

And they throw them every weekend. With this lady, please tell me that blade didn't kill Deacon Frost. Please tell me that's... Tell me that blobby is okay. The blobby vampire. The blood blob. Listen, ma'am, it's just a cultural thing.

It's called the blood rave. It's very normal. Can you put the fucking lawyer on the phone? You've got to get the sci-fi channel off the TV. Honestly, this is getting crazy. It's a fucking... She's fucking asking me about 12 monkeys. This is ridiculous.

Are they really sending that man in space, cheesy movies. Why does he have to watch the cheesy movies in space? I don't know, ma'am. I'll get right on that. You've got to take that fucking shit away from him. Those robots don't look very well made. I don't think he's going to be taken care of.

Oh, the nice professor and his student and his girlfriend and that nice black jazz musician all went through that portal. Please tell me the sliders are okay. You got to get your butler on the phone. I am fucking sick of it over here. Jesus Christ. Did Matthew McConaughey finally find his dirty farm children?

But so, yeah, Norman Rees tells her, you know, kick that bitch to the curb, classic asshole scumback move. A real, like, she, but, like, it's a weird, like, she followed. He was already in L.A. She went out there, so already that's different from her story. You know, it's a classic, look me up sometime. Yep, which, I guess she's. thought that was like real and you know he's like we broke up like right what she got here yeah said she was going to be a movie star blah blah blah blah blah and he's it's a it's a funny like yeah

i thought i was going to be an action star too look what happened just a rub it i'm going to rub my failure in your face it's an awesome cage move here though because reedis is like hey how about you hey be man how about you pass me some of those cigarettes yeah and cage just takes the cigarette out of his mouth drops it on the floor right in front of it steps on it And he says, I don't smoke, which is a classic. Hell yeah. Eat shit prison junkie. Awesome.

Oh, I gotta go to California for a little while. You're gonna pay for that, right? So then it's a really awkward, like, he checks in with his wife for a second. Then he goes back to the Matthews house here to, like, check in on this woman or whatever. I made you a drink. Dude, this is the I made you a drink. I've got dinner going or whatever. Oh, the dinner going is tough, man.

And she's definitely wearing, like, nicer clothes than she was during the first scene. You know what is off. You can have dinner. Don't fuck her because that's a bad idea. You don't have to put your dick in her mouth. You just have to eat the dinner. Eat the bad chicken and be like, thank you, man. Your marriage might be on the rocks.

You might want to start another one on this one. Honestly, maybe that's the answer here. Maybe that's true, but is this where you want to plant that flag, dude? This is where you want to seek that opportunity? Too much trauma. Because you're going to come back. If you weren't coming back, I see where you're coming from. Yeah, that's true.

But he did a very important moment here on his way out. when he rudely says no to dinner, and the drink. Oh, at least have the drink. At least have the drink. And he's just like, I feel bad for that drink. I hope it doesn't go to waste. I guess she'll drink. Hey, weird question.

If you were to, would you rather continue your life exactly as you are, never knowing but the hope that your daughter's still alive or more than likely if I were to find out if your daughter was brutally murdered by a fat guy and a leather mask? Would you want to know that? But he doesn't actually, when he does tell her, he doesn't tell her the whole thing. They filmed it and rich guy was jerking off. Machine was there. Yeah, you didn't hear that stuff.

No, but she says I would need to know. I mean, this is like your classic horrible missing person scenario. They always want to know because it's a big person in your life. Yeah, no, you want it definitive no matter the answer, I think a lot of the time. All right, Mrs. Christian, make a copy of the film. I got it. Oh, man, easiest hundred grand I've ever made. I will be right back.

I just need a few minutes and a one-hour photo. I will be right back. put this on VHS for me, good sir. Yeah, I'll have that trick now. We'll put the film off. Oh, you're going to need a double. Double that one. Maybe I put this on the boot.

Maybe I get it on the torrent sites. Oh, dude. Yeah, on the torrent sites, sure. The dark web, dude, definitely. But he, at this point, he steals, very rude. A framed photo of this girl out the frame. You got to do it, though. You're an investigator. You need a good photo.

He's got to be thinking on his feet, like, but he gives it something nasty he leaves the diary so at least you know right she found it he doesn't clean your fucking toilet which you should take something missing girls bedroom you take something you leave something he wiped off his ass hairs and he put it back

take an heirloom leave an heirloom yeah it's like take a petty leave a penny that's the missing girl's bedroom yeah so he heads off to Los Angeles I want when he's driving in I want the song from Beverly Hills cop when he enters Beverly Hills

Axel F? Yeah, no, no, it's the original, but like, I have a dream. Oh, that's, oh, yes. Coming into Hollywood, because they just, they give you the sign. We do. But they don't really, they don't pep you up. Don't give you the actual sign. They give you a mural.

Yes, it's a mural on the side of a deli or something. And we have some crazy music here. It's the late 90s, the world music craze had taken the storm. This drove me fucking nuts. Why is the score from the beginning of the insider all over this fucking movie? Again, in the late night, we love that shit. I think it's also supposed to signify like this is like a foreign evil. Yeah, it's an othering.

It's an othering of Los Angeles, which we as New York is to every day. Foreign. Yeah, evil. Other. Underground, mysterious. Like, foreign. Yes, exactly. Middle Eastern, like, throat singing kind of shit.

But foreign. Yes. Chant singing, rather, I should say. Whatever it is. It's probably neither of those things you just said. I have no idea what it is. It was very nice. I liked it.

I don't like it. I don't like it in the movie. Exactly. It's what the music is connoting in the movie. Like, oh, wow, it's so fucking weird and shitty out there. Yes. This music sounds weird to your ear with what you're looking at. Yes.

Because this is weirdo down. And we go to Stans of Hollywood. Yes. And Joaquin Phoenix here. And I mean, like, I would assume nine out of ten porno dudes that work behind the counter of a porno store. they just claim to come and they go home they don't know they're not talking

to the customers they're not ordering the porno themselves but they should expect to talk to the cuss I mean like I know it's not going to happen I think you're telling on yourself because have you ever been in one of those stores those people are very friendly that's the thing it's like I think you need to be able to talk to these people

I don't think you can like everybody's nervous and you want to make them feel like you know you're not doing anything wrong and also the weird thing we're like he has to pretend to read a smutty book like no one gives a shit you're reading in cold blood dude no one's like hey

he's reading a real book get him yes that's definitely beg him definitely not the case beg him peg that guy he's reading true crime literature oh no peg me oh no please don't oh no

that'll be my worst night there honestly that's a great bit like you go to an adult bookstore and everyone's just reading Truman Capote that's an adult book I feel it's a thing where it's like you don't, and the movie does play it the way you're talking about Steve, which is stupid. But I think you can play it as like,

I don't want people asking me about this. No one's going to be asking me if I read the fucking opening of Misty Beethoven's soft cover adaptation. Exactly. But if it's like, oh, oh, Termin Capone. Well, you know, in my day job, I'm a professor of literature. That's true. But I'm not shopping for smut at night.

They might talk here off if you get it. You got to look like you're reading smut. By the way, Nick Cage, the smud order, buying like $78 worth of porno mags in 1999 or $8, that's like a whole year's worth of a magazine's catalog or something. Mr. Wells, I'm

going over the invoices here. Did you really need three copies of gigantic asses? Well, yeah, because it was from October 99, November 99, December 99, stupid. And I had to know every variety. Okay, these are Latinas. This is that. I need to know it all.

I'm studying this for your work. These are three, four volume. of Pounded Pud magazine? I have to know how it's pounded. Oh, she's like, okay. Oh, are you buying VHS collections of the Red Shoe Diaries? Anil Virgin's Omnibus,

what in the world? There's a lot of Japanese manga on here. What is going on out there? Pretty sure that doesn't have anything to do with the snuff film. I mean, I appreciate you. I mean, itemized receipt. I mean, my husband was normal.

He just wanted to watch women be killed. That tentacles, that's weird. I like Joaquin, like a cage goes up to the counter and Joaquin's like, oh, hey, sir, can I interest you in a battery operated vagina? I want you to be upselling, okay? We got to get these fucking vaginas. I got a bunch of crates in the back of these fucking electronic vaginas. Do you like to supersize that vagina, sir? Do you think he's worried about a secret shopper in the porn industry?

Absolutely, yes, yes, because this is, you know, it's not the only stands of Hollywood. That was true, dude. Yeah, so the district manager is coming around. I'm the undercover boss. Oh, you didn't sell me on the battery operated vagina. You're fired. Oh, wait, I heard your heart-wrenching story. Here's some extra money.

Oh, fuck. I'm sorry. This is a limited edition, Peter North Dildo. We have only five left in stock. What am I going to do with a Peter North Dildo? It's for your ass or your mouth, sir. Quick question. Why are you buying you?

So many dildos out there. It has to be, the expenses need to be connected to the investigation of the SNFEL. I have to look like I know what I'm doing. I have to go in there like I'm the Prince of Orr. The Prince of Bourne. The Prince of Bourne. I could have sworn the leather man had a dildo in his head. I could have sworn.

And I need to know which guy. But this is indeed Joaquin Phoenix as Max California. I actually think he's kind of awesome. He's great. It's your classic coming up kind of performance. I totally forgot he was in this. He's younger. He's a little doughier. Anyone has ever seen? I saw this in theaters, by the

way. Yeah, I thought, you know, the aforementioned DVD rental. I think I might have seen this in theaters, too. Like, in that time period, I went to see everything. Any cool movie? And this is definitely in the cool movie category. Sure. I liked, at the

time, I thought Joel was like a really good director. I was like, I'm going to go see the new Joel movie. I did. The cage of it all, probably. Yeah. I like cage too. And I loved snuff as a kid. Of course, yeah.

And you grew out of it. Yeah, of course. After a while, you know, as a kid, you get into snuff for a few years. I love Joaquin. So he's got this like blue sort of hair dye going on. But it's definitely like Wolverine-esque. It's definitely Wolverine-esque, which is pretty cool. I was totally down with it.

He's called him pops. He's very quickly a likable character that you know is going to be part of it. He's going to be a sidekick. You know what I mean? And basically he's, and he even says, he's, and he even, says as much as, like, listen, you don't, and also, like, I do think if you're, if you're Wells, this character, Tom Wells, Tom Wells, you got to grow a mustache or something, maybe get some creepy glasses, like, you'll look like a cop all the time. I got to look like an orgy guy.

Yeah, exactly. Get yourself a fucking windbreaker. Like, these are things you need. PI stuff. Just some stuff, some spy stuff. No, he's got to look like a pervert. Exactly. But that's the thing. Like, you got to blend in. You got to do this stuff. You don't want him dressing like a detective. Oh, he means like a trench coat to flash people. I see.

Yeah. Got it. Yeah. A mustache, like a fucking Eastern Conference Championship T-shirt. Just like some guy

with a stain on it. That kind of sounds like a copics. Yeah. That's a guy. It's a fair point. Maybe a beard, you know? Back then that was not

popular as much. But it's very important that you know right off the bat like, yeah, I know where I'm working. I'm straight. Oh, yes.

Yeah. I got to let you know I'm straight. Well, you've got to be clear, like, I'm not jacking. Some guys, like, are you going to show me around? I'm not jacking you off, dude, sorry. I'll give you $500. And I think...

I think the deal there, it's not so much a homophobia thing. It's like, I just don't want to be breaking any hearts right now. I'm here on business. You know. People get crushes. The first thing they do is go to a black market, like, a Latin gang kind of a thing. And again, this is what fucking Tom Wills blows it. He's like, oh, yeah, this is a great pornography you got here.

It's excellent stuff. stuff films you got you got they beat the shit out of a medium I love this place too because it's like yeah it's an underground porn house that they move all the time and it's mostly bondage SNM and beastiality all you can have yes all you want

crazy thing here too is when they're walking through I mean this is like Joaquin gives and it it happens to him right like this is where he gives him the warning he's like hey man like just an FYI once you go into this world like the devil gets his his

his claws in you and like once you're in you're in and he's like okay whatever so that was one thing I liked about the scene the other thing that's very funny subtitles on right here again everyone that they're talking to here is speaking Spanish sure right fucking lazy ass subtitles

dude foreign language bitch it's clearly Spanish every time what are you talking about just know what you're doing just say Spanish but yeah he's like oh stuff film they beat the shit out of me he's like all right all right I'll leave I'll leave, I'll leave. The beaded curtain behind there.

You got like, Yokeero snuff film? You gotta lead up to it, like, oh, you got the pecking videos. Oh, cool. I'm thinking about the Chihuahua'iero snuff films. Yes. Necessito, snuff films? Also, is there? Oh, Mr. Wells, I saw something terrible go down at a titty twister the other day.

You need to go to Mexico while you're. down there. I'm just worried if there's a bar down there that vampires can run soon enough, they'll be in Harrisburg, PA, wherever the fuck I am. You don't have any brothers do you? Juliet Lewis is in trouble.

Go help. Could you put the Butler on the... What the fuck is going on? You've got to take a remote away. Just hold on, Mrs. Christian. Snuffer. Snuffer man. Dude, so we go to this

second location, and this one, you are wishing you were at the first location. This one is way worse. We're walking around here and Joaquin's like, look, this is where like the hard stuff is at. You're seeing him sort of browse this fucking swap meet

thrift store. Like whatever you want to call it? He calls it like a porn zombie basement. Yes. It's got these. Way beyond stuff, which I mean, I've heard of and whoa. Oh my God. That stuff. The way beyond stuff. The way beyond. There's the fucking, like you're looking in a record store And it's like blues, experimental, seven X's across this one piece of cardboard.

There is a kid section. There is a kid's section. Yeah, yeah, sure is. A way beyond X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, is the same side. And I also just, again, like, whatever. But, like, I don't think the regular porn store guy knows where the kiddie porn. Like, those two things never touch each other, I feel like. Well, I don't know.

Back then. But what this movie is telling you is, like, if you are, like, in that world, not just like a casual shopper, like, you're working there. If you're, listen, if you're at the desk at that store. the whole time, eventually just on like, just raw numbers, those dudes are going to come in there and someone's saying something you hear about it.

Someone has to put the flyer up with the little free car lessons town. It's very Christian moral panic. Like, oh my God, I've used to look at one naked lady, you're looking at child porn three days. I hate to break it to you, but that stuff exists. Oh, I know it does, but it there was like a mail order rack. Yeah, of course. And adult bookstores is

like a whole different thing that doesn't exist anymore. Like the internet kind of, I don't know if they can at all. I don't know for sure, but let me also take this moment to say that we do not support this. Why do you have to take a moment? Or we don't support snuff films even though we're joking about. Because you know why? People are dense as fuck.

You can't stop that. I got to educate. I got to educate. Well, no, but yeah, to your point, I don't know how basement shows go with this stuff. That's a great show. We're selling stuff down at the American Legion

this Friday night. Don't quite get it. But yeah, he again goes up to some dude like, so, wow, cool. Way beyond section. Excellent. You know, a little harder, maybe like a snuffield perhaps. El snuffing? He's still doing the Mexican point.

And we've got the, you know, he's like extreme bondage. Six shit. Buy five, get one free. Is this guy one of the Nylists from Lubowski? Could be. Is it that guy? Yeah, it could be. He's wearing like assless chaps selling these VHS

very tall german looking guy so they they stock up and they go back and it's just fucking you're just watching this pile of tapes with wakene here uh and they're tried like analyzing it this part's funny where was this made maybe the philippines and like something happens in wakene's like oh yeah this one's definitely the philippines yep okay always the philippine yes and it's the joke is like they think it's a real snuff film like oh my god he's reacting the way he did in the first thing owie owie my tummy And he puts in another tape And he's oh my god It's such another stuff

Oh wait That's the same girl Yes You know she could have acted In a movie before Yeah That still could You know yeah

No she's a liar She's a liar She's a liar I'm sorry But yes I mean I guess you're supposed To take it as like It's awful She's getting killed in both

It's fake You know again Special Effects by Thomas It was all you had to do Is sit through the credits People don't want to sit through the credits anymore Don't appreciate being lied to like that

You know like far go based on a true story, I don't think so. I thought the prowler was a real movie for a little. I thought it was a documentary in face. Joaquin's got a funny line here when they're like oh, is that the same girl or whatever? And he goes oh, snuff to the resurrection?

Also, watching this, did you catch what's going on here? Watching, they're at Joaquin's place. Watching his TV with a gross stain down the middle. There's a fucking goopy something, dude. And he keeps, there's a couple of scenes where again, like this is your breakout role.

So, like, everyone's asking when he's not on screen, what he's doing. So it's like, where are you coming from? He's like, well, you know, I was in a band. I was trying to get together. You could do better than, you know, being at this porn store and stuff. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're reading Truman Capote.

And he's like, you know, there's at least one time when he calls back to Catherine Kiener and Catherine Krieneer's got the baby. And she's like, Daddy's chasing the pornographers, isn't he? Who's going to get to pornographers? It is amazing. There is one, like, because he does, he calls back, like, several times about the movie. But there's the one where he's like, it's when he realizes it's a, it's a a little while back, it doesn't matter.

He realizes there was a third person in the room. And he's, oh, honey, I got to go. There's been a development with the analyzing of the snuff film. I mean, I love you. And the computer enhance, enhance, enhance. And they go to that photo lab, right? Oh, right. It's like, oh, here's a picture of a back of someone's head.

Right, not much help there. He winds up going to this mission to speak with some nuns. And this woman's like, oh, yes, of course. He goes up to the nod and says, El Snuff. Oh, right this way, my child. Way beyond stuff. They're Catholics. They might have it.

Well, we're into blood. They are. Cannibalism. Drink some of it. Body, too. Feast on the body. This is my flesh, which has been given up to you for 4599.

No, no, no. We don't film it. Except that one cardinal in Chicago, that guy got into some trouble. Oh, Helper. Great movie. It's called Helper. Elper.

Labelled the tape, Helper. But it's like, oh, we kept Marianne's suitcase or whatever. Here's a suitcase. It's a weird, like, that none is like, so you'll give this back to her family, right? And he's like, uh, yeah, if it means you're going to give it to me, yeah, I'm going to give it back to her. That is in the dumpster outside this dude's hotel in two weeks.

Absolutely. I'm going to go back to New York. I'm not going to bring the other. That's not how many bags am I going to bring. They're going to start charging me. It's like a fucking $100 a bag. Oh, that weighs a lot, too. Great.

Now, I got to throw it some. my t-shirts. Oh, I love L.A. I wanted that one. But in rooting around through the suitcase, a little later, he finds some papers and like some numbers, so he starts looking through stuff, and he finds the number for celebrity films run by James Gandalfini. Eddie Poole, great name, great name. Great mustache.

And a great actor. I mean, it's just totally. Good sideburns, too. Energy here. Excellent side. And this is a character that Jim Gandalfini is playing. Outside of the New York metro area, which equals me getting weirded out by how his voice sounded in real life. You know, because he got, what was the, what's the movie, like the drop that he was in with Tom Hardy?

And what's the Brad Pitt movie? Kill them softly. Kill them softly. Or the Mexican. The Mexican. But kill them softly. I'm thinking of because, again, it's like the same area. So he's like, he's doing a riff on Tony Soprano in those movies.

This is just, it's the flat sort of high-pitched James Gandoffini voice. and it's fucking awesome like it's so rare to get that it's so cool I mean he's he's great in this like yeah first and again he looks like he looks like it to Carrey Gobbs

so how's it work here porno wise snuff films he might as well wear a t-shirt that says where's the snuff got snuff yes

got snuff question why they launder that stuff before it comes to me I am the goal they want to get to my point I don't I don't have to put the way

beyond thing on front of my thing. I don't got to do that. And he's like in the middle of a fucking casting call right here which is funny. And it's like, you know, looking for this girl. Have you seen her? And it's Gandalfini, it's an awesome, it's a very like subtle, but you can tell it's like, oh fuck.

Like he's thinking like, oh fuck. But then you see, dude, the beads of sweat or just, it's like one shot, no beads of sweat. Next shot, amazing beads of sweat. Slightly long to stare at the photo. Yep, yep. I do like the surveillance part here when he's, He's now rented an apartment or a space outside of Eddie's.

Oh, the abandoned fucking, like, a textile factor, a big, like, sewing machine warehouse or something? This will do. I want to know whatever that deal was. Like, he finds this dude. It's like the killer, right? Yes, very, oh, right. Yeah, totally perched across the way.

Totally. So now you're renting in a pub. Oh, my God. I'm taking a bath on this whole snuff investigation. I'm renting a textile mill in downtown Los Angeles. Hold on, did you have Denny's twice and one day? We're going to offset the cost by making those I-Heart L.A. shirts. Don't worry about it.

But how many servings of Moon over Miami do you need in a 24-hour period? It's good. It's good. And it's fucking chief. The coffee's fine. You have to hurry up and get back here. You don't understand. Nicole Kidman is being hoodwinked by this child who says he's his dead husband.

I can't believe it. You've got to turn the fucking TV off, lady. Oh, my God, and she just took a bath with that boy? What is going? You have to get on it now. You have to get back here quickly. There's a detective deck in here, and he's trying to say that I'm a robot. Oh, now.

Wait, get the butler on the phone. Okay, now she thinks Harrison Ford's talking to her through the TV. You put her in a home. You got to do your fucking job. dude. I'm doing my job, you're doing your job. Tell her that the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long, put the pillow over her head.

Do I have, you have to spell hospice for you? But so he's watching, there's this great moment, some guy calls up Eddie Poole and he's like, somebody's returning your shitty tapes, get models with all their teeth or something

and it's like, oh yeah, you want jumping the fucking fancy or whatever, and it's like, oh man. Yeah, no, it's like, Your mother got teeth tell her to come down. Yeah, that's right. And all I could think about that moment was, can I have a clean glass? Here you go, your majesty. Oh, you want a porn star with all her teeth.

He's tapping his phone, and he has a great idea. So he just calls Gailfield. He's like, yeah, I know what's going on. Six years ago, the girl, the guy with the mask, like kind of hangs up. Right. He's like, you're so fucked, Eddie. And he clags up the phone. Yep.

And then Eddie makes a phone call freaking out. They know, they know. And it's like, we can talk. on the phone. Clearly, this is me. Peter Stormer Man. One of the best to ever do it. I really love... I mean, obviously Gandalfini is a titan. Peter Stormere

is really great. For this kind of shit specifically. This is what I was born for. I mean, I just rewatched Constantine on the beautiful 4K restoration. Oh, nice. It's looking good. It's looking gorgeous. And him is the devil. It's very much like this movie. It doesn't need it, but man

doesn't need it. You know? Like... Yep. Like, the movie would be fine if it was someone else, but the movie is, it's made better that it's him. Not every deli gives you a pickle on the side. Thank you. You know what? It's nice to have the pickle on the side. It's always like you get that one deli. Yeah, pickle on the side. It's like,

oh, I got that like a little half pound thing of tuna mac salad, but they're really jamming it in there for me. Absolutely. That's the good spaces. People hate when we talk New York. That's a theme on this show. We talk New York too much. They're going to be like, I don't know what a deli or pickle is. I've never heard of that thing. What's wrong

with the gas station? Dino Velvet. he figures it out gets the name and he goes back to max california so he's always the gym jarmish of s and ms oh so that's the line of the movie so what so it's like nothing really happens people are kind of mumbling off screen is that it's uh it's it's two people sitting at a diner table drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and then uh the one girl gets her throat cut let's just say if they caught him he'd be down by law I am not hearing a fucking single

Bo Didley song I don't think so Snuff films are Stranger than fiction Uh huh Wait stranger than paradise Stranger than Paradise Stranger than Paradise

Stranger than fiction is that bad Will Ferrell movie Which is also I think a snuff film He killed that girl And he didn't You think so Maggie Gyllenha

In the outtakes Yeah In the outtakes In the blooper reel It's been a twin Wops she's dead Oh man It's a S&M films

with Roberto Bini Hey. Well, that's a fun way to die. And Max California, Joaquin's character, knows of this dude, and he's like, hey, I also know, like, I've got some friends. This dude does, like, commissions if the price is right. So we are on our way to New York City. And Max insists on going,

you're going to stick out like a sore thumb. I have a friend of a friend. I can introduce you. Also, we've got a movie here. Yeah, exactly. A little bit of a movie going on. Yeah, it should be there. if I left now.

And he's making his own movie getting there first time of the Big Apple. Don't put the camera in my face. And I have to say like this is again like it's filming you're coming right out of the tunnel like into Manhattan.

It's great. You're on location stuff here when like a movie like this if you made this movie now it would just be all like in not in either city. You'd film it in like Atlanta and like it would be Atlanta for Los Angeles

Atlanta for New York. It would feel like another place that doesn't exist that doesn't feel real. This feels like so granted because of all these locations, even whatever they used for the suburban home that's supposed to be Pennsylvania that he lives in. It feels lived in. It does.

It's great. There's a real, there's no sets of this movie. I mean, they're probably a soundstage for like some of the warehouse stuff, but like who cares? That stuff, yeah. But like, I mean, like we said at the top, like they fucking went to Miami for 40 seconds of the movie. And we get to the meat packing district when they packed meat.

Yes, when the meat packing was still going on, it wasn't just expensive restaurants and nightclubs. Well, those were also there. But yeah, we're still doing meat. This is where it's like the fucking first 15 minutes of a law and order episode. Yes. Because they're always going down with the meat packing, trying to find some dead girl. And this is a great like butcher, butcher, butcher disgusting door where the snuff film office is.

It's fucking awesome. And it's, he's like, hey, I'm here to see Dino Velvet. Tell him I'm going to give him a bunch of money. And they get buzzed in. And again, here's Peter Stormere. He's got these fucking nightmare fingernail things. on. Dude, this whole office of his, like, you expect it to

be, like, sparse and whatever, because it's just a dude that gets money for making, you know, snuff films and other dangerous movies or whatever. But this is direct, like, the place is decorated, like, Rob Zombie's house. It's, like, memorabilia all over the place, a bunch of cool

posters. To be fair, I think he only, the movie, at least, infers that he's only made the one snuff film. Right, right, right, right. That was the special occasion. Special edition, exactly. My retirement fund. Mr. Christian from Pennsylvania

needed something special. I do love, we do see some Dino Velvet movies. Welcome to the world of Dino Velvet. I wonder, is he paying Prodigy for the song? Is he doing music? Apex Twin. It's Apex Twin. Okay.

Oifex Twins into it. Yeah. Aifix Twin is definitely into it. Or is it going to be like, well, actually the problem is like, those tapes are fine. But when the special edition DVD comes out, Apex Twin charges too much and they have to use

pop punk like just very vague pop punk she's the girl in the video wasn't this Apex twin

when I saw it in theater it's just with the dark green filter this doesn't meant but I do love this the world

of Dino Vevel like he's got some tapes to research because he's trying to find out basically he has seen

he's noticed that in the snuff film that he's investigating the guy who he later learned to be machine

has a pentagram tattoo in his hand. He's watching these videos seeing if there's any commonalities and the hand is there also. But I love what's going on here. Like, he's so serious about the research. This dude is six inches away from the television. I need the fucking, I need that hardcore pornography right here. I need to be smelling the TV screen. And he finds that, yes, Machine is in a lot of his movies. He is the Tom Waits. If he is the Jim Jarmeish of Snuff. Yes, sir. Yeah, I killed that girl with a rusty boot. this movie sucks

that's a brutal way to go give me the knife and machine any day yeah I'm doing ass of them I'm gonna spank you with a rusty trombone mout my mouth sitting in a car for what feels like

four months driving with a Hungarian to Florida and there's stuff involved yeah the my safe word is burned down carnival no that'll come up too much

that's too obvious that'll come up too much too easy to get that password overlaps with insane clown pass ah yes but max California of course being a little bit of a noted

velvet fan here understands and he's like oh that dude oh that dude's machine he's like he's like the fucking star of all these things so we know machine is the dude is the dude and he basically puts in like a custom order and he's like so what two girls one white one black if that's possible large fries vanilla shake i would love is there's a cardboard standy of the machine like standing like this like oh the star of our famous film

see this is where he fucks up if you if he's ordering custom pornography to eat just not one uh one girl's got to be like five foot four uh reddish brown hair really customized exactly like she kind of looks like my next-door neighbor a little bit. Here's a picture. And then the other one is my mother. I mean, and it's 10K to do this.

And then he's like, by the way, I got two stipulations for my custom vid. One, it's got a star machine. That guy, amazing. That's your 10 grand right there. That you just ate that shit up, too. That's it. Well, that's what happens. He's like, oh,

machine, huh? That's going to be another $10,000. We're in 20 large for this fucking movie. $1999, by the way, holy shit. And then he's like, oh, the other stipulation is, I get to be on set when you're filming it. And that's where I'm, if I'm Mr. Velvet, I'm like, this guy's cop. Yes, exactly.

He's like, why don't want you taking my secrets? Yes. Well, that's what he's like, what does he say? He's like, you promise you don't have any franchising ambitions. You're going to steal my hot sauce. Before you stab little girl, we pick floorboards out and put camera below. floor boards to get

the perfect angle for a downward stabbing. I feel like if he worked with Max, he would, so then, oh yeah, it's a custom deal, I have to be on there because I'll be jerking off the whole time. And like, there's a lot of foot stuff. I want the boots to be big.

Couldn't like boots. Towards the climax, with machines doing his thing, what if my cum just flies on screens a little bit? Like, just on the floor nearby. I want to pull a madman Miggs. And then when I show my buddies, you know, that's my cup. My cum toss is coming Special cameo by

My jizz Derek Derek You're gonna miss Don't go to the bathroom My cum shots coming Okay before we get lost Do you want Comfy

Cockchair Uncomfy cock chair What do you prefer And now what he's trying To pay Max to go home Oh right Yes I wonder what bar this is

Because again This might be a set You know what it is Steve It's an NYU dorm now I would hear it's a really good point If it was a real location at one point it is no longer. But it looks really cool.

It does. It's very like, it's a very like, it's a little, it's a, I mean, I know it's New York in, in the late 90s, the tail end of the 90s we're making this movie. It is a little Detroit Robocop right here because there's like a huge fire going on outside like hot cars and nobody gives a shit is the thing, yeah, which is just really bizarre. But so it's like, all right, here's all this money.

You've been amazing. You know, and he's like, look, like, I've got some jobs that are going to take me back out there. Like, I need a guy on the ground in, in Hollywood. Actually, Max, honestly. I'm planning on, even if I find out today what's happened, I'm going to fleece this lady for months. So money

is coming your way to, don't worry about it. He even offers to be like the victim in the film or whatever, and he's like, no, no. And Max has a good little line of dialogue here that it's like, there's three rules of life, there's always a victim. Number two, don't be it. And I forgot number three.

That's not Eric talking. That's literally when he says in the movies. So he fucks off and it's like, okay, good. Now that I've paid that boy, nothing bad will happen to him. Excellent. And he's got the notice. He's got to go to Hoyt Avenue in Brooklyn. Three o'clock. Now, I assumed it was going to be three o'clock in the morning. Dude, if you're going to a snuff film shoot at 3 p.m., you've got to know they're going to get the drop on you. Two blocks where I used to live, Hoyt Avenue in Brooklyn, right? Right near the Brooklyn Bridge.

That's right. This is a really weird. This was the same thing we were kind of getting into watching Vanilla Sky. Dumbo in the 90s, very straight. Nothing like what Dumbo looks like. No, no, no, no, no. No, Albaugh. Oh, you have to house there. Plenty of startups up there. Plenty of they have their headquarters there back now. Now he's a CGI thing that Tim Burton did.

That's what we're talking about. What was it down under Brooklyn overpass or whatever? Down under the Manhattan Bridge. Whatever, yeah. Manhattan, yeah, one of those things. Manhattan Bridge overpass. So then he shows up and he's like, oh, cool, where's the ladies? And he's like, land is all of his lay.

and he's got it's kind of amazing he's got a cross and a cross bow and he's shooting it at it and like you know it's a little bit the Boogie Night's fireworks moment he's a little uncomfortable

immediately because this guy's got a weapon out you know I mean wouldn't you be yeah sure it may it may be problem we've ruined surprise and terror we're killing her today

he's like lead there's always late and he's like oh cool machine love your work brother oh my god is that the machine we're not worthy I know you get this all the time

But in step on my blalls Please miss Is that your boot Or is that like Was that somebody else doing it? Well it's amazing you asked that Because it was supposed to be my boot funny When we were getting that shot

With the ball stop Oh wouldn't you believe it I sprained my ankle that day Oh wow yeah I heard about that Don't worry sir It still made me swing I'm sure you get this all the time But would you please

Could you sign my piano wire You know It's funny Like that I'll see I was supposed to I was supposed to whip her for an hour, you know, understand. Right, right. But I had a bad Thai food the night before, and I had a huge stomachache.

So instead, I just shot in her face. That's amazing. I was going to say, because what you see on screen is so different from the script that I bought off the Internet. So let me ask you, who are your guys? And are we good here? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. The Slammer was a great guy. I mean, he's, you probably don't know him in some of the 40s.

It was fantastic. Really great guy. Early porn guy. Oh, yeah. The Terminator was great. No, not Arnold, not Arnold. He got that all the time. They'd be like, you're not Arnold.

He'd be like, I know. Oh, so this guy terminated pussy. Yes, I was opening up for the slammer in front of the porn store. I'm going to tell you, you know, he took a lot of hits because he's a controversial figure. But Billy Blunt. That guy could knock, I mean, some of my slashing techniques, direct lifts. Direct lifts from Billy Blunt. They were all at the porn store, right?

Run by Mitzie Vour. I just wanted like a five-minute spot and just spanking someone's ass You know, that's all I wanted to do You know, I don't bring this up too much But I was actually a door guy Oh, bro, wow! Yeah, that was really!

Me and Killison would hang out. Kallison! Stan Killison. There's that one guy who's really great. It was Jeremy something. Jeremy Kuh. We just called him Asfister all the time. I can't think of that guy's name.

And I was just bit, yeah, he was great. Yeah, I was just, you wouldn't want to go on after him, but yeah, he was great. The prop guys were terrible. I never wanted to follow any of the prop guys. But he does meet machine. I love when they're walking in, by the way. It's just fucking, uh, Dino Velvet Films do not enter crudely spray painted on a metal door. Uh, but then, uh-oh, here comes Eddie Poole.

Oh, no. And he pulls the, uh, he pulls the crossbow on here, on, on cage, of course. And it's like, handcuff him to the. bed. And it's like, oh, man, this isn't great. And it's like, I don't know, Cage, I don't know how you did not see this common Tom Wells. And, uh, yeah, no, he's like, yeah, that's the guy. So it's like, he's fucked. Um, and I love the picture. This is, this is the Peter Stormere experience. Because in, I'm sure, I don't have the script in front of me. I'm sure it's like, he pulls out the, he pulls out the, the photograph, it looks at it is, I'm going to kill your

family. Nowhere the script is that he has to eat the photograph. But this is, again, this is Peter stormair in the 1990s, the man was bringing it every day. He lets it drop out of his mouth when he agrees to get the film and do this whole thing. And now what Anthony held? Yes, he's also here. This is the big reveal that he was in on the

whole time. What was his name again? Longsdale. Longsdale. Longsdale. Yeah, it sounds right. He also was a great name for a shitty lawyer. Oh yeah, Mr. Longsdale, definitely did. Yeah. He had this whole like, prim and proper British guy bit. It was so funny. and sexy I forgot sexy

absolutely sexy but so yeah it's like give us the tape or else and again it's one thing to threaten to rape

someone you're literally threaten to rape a baby and I feel like it's in it's in the ether I will rape baby now well I mean

listen man like you're a snuff filmmaker there's no line I have to be on the edge anything you can think of has happened and has happening

probably right now but so yeah bring us the only copy of the film we destroy it we'll let you go and let oh and also by the way max california is whoops wouldn't you know it tied up and gagged and put on the cross it's just gary o'Connelled here

Jerry O'Connell and scream too definitely that's funny I was like man I was like man all right what am I thinking of I know we just watched Last Temptation of Christ for Easter that ain't it but that's exactly what I was thinking of it yeah it's finished and show am I jerking off hold the phone I just got a report

Jesus was having sex with a prostitute. Is this true, sir? Is this true? My partner is being tied up right now. I really can't come to the phone. But I'm just telling you, please turn off the television, miss. I had no idea. Pontch's pilot looked so much like David Bowie.

It's Bowie, but I also have to go. I do not have time to talk to you about David Bowie. So Anthony Heald takes him out, like, Stormair gives him a gun, and he's like, all right, take him out to the car to go get it or whatever. And it's this whole, it's this classic, like, I never thought you'd get this far. We assume that you'd give up because you're such a stupid loser.

I also love, he's wearing these gloves. He's holding the gun so nervously the whole time. Which is great. It's awesome that this character, because he's even like, why do you want me to have the gun? Why do I have to take him out there or whatever? And it's like, yes, this dude's a scummy lawyer, but like he's just,

he's only got the juice to, like, cut the checks and hire the guy or whatever. And now he's, like, in the shit with machine and friends. and it's getting real. This is when the cage veil falls and because this is when he's like, so when you, when he got the tape out,

did he come or what? Oh yeah. I'm trying to understand. Did you hold his God? Did you give him a hand job while Marianne Matthews was dying? Why do you want to, I'm going to understand.

It's a very big cage moment. And it's great, but it's an awesome because he's like, why, why, why? And it's a great, like, because he could. Because he's a rich guy and he wanted to see if someone would do it,

and he paid someone a million dollars and that person did it. And he also realizes, I think he gets it out of him here, that the billion dollars was mostly went into Held's pocket. Almost all to him. Yeah, the old lady confirms on a phone call earlier in the film. Like, I looked through the finances. Like, you asked me to, there's all these checks to cash that he made out from five different accounts.

And wouldn't you know it if you take all of those cash checks together, that sum is exactly $1 million. That's classic producer bit, dude. It's like, oh, no, the movie didn't make the money back. So you were still in the black for it So I'm sorry We can't give you the We can't

We can't give you those points Never happened The marketing budget, my God It was all made out To wet willy industries Oh no All right here's the good news ma'am After 25 years

The rights to the film We'll revert back to you And your husband's statement So after a quarter century You will own your husband's movie Just hold out Just hold out So he gives him the real

And Stormair puts him a little lighter fluid on it burns it or whatever and he's like all right deals a deal let my buddy max california down and it's that classic you heard him machine set them free and just machine just cuts his throat and cross yeah and then they start with gandilfini and machine start like robert denure of kicking dude gandilfini is getting some kicks in here it's awesome because cage's back chained to the bed at this point and my favorite line oh my second on the ground aren't they kicking him on the yes no but he still changed he still he's still he still He's still like, oh, he's a thing.

He's chained to a bed post or whatever, but he's still kick the shit out of them. He snuck that little knife from the car. Yeah, that's also a big thing. And it's great when he goes, you stupid fucking trash. And they're like, what? And he's like, I bet that million dollars is really sitting in your bank account really well.

Like, what a million dollar you're talking about? It's awesome. And then like, so Stormair is getting pissed off here, and he's talking to Gandalfini. And he's like, or he's talking to Anthony Heald, I And he's like, if there's no honor between perverts and pornographers, the whole thing fall apart. It's true. It's true.

And then basically, like, Held was like, everybody puts your guns down. You too, and he puts his guns down, and it's an amazing stormbear moment. It's so good. He's like, you put the crossbow down. He's like, okay, action. Dude, he just sort of whips it on, action. It's so good. Dude, the idea of waking up one morning, and you don't know that you're going to get killed by a crossbow, and then you actually,

When it's in your chest, you have to be like, wow, I just got killed by a crossbrook. And, dude, doubly embarrassing by a known fucking felonious pornographer. It's like you get killed like a vampire. It's exciting, kind of. You know what? Can you drag my corpse to the Renaissance Festival?

This is way too embarrassing. I don't know, man. What's more embarrassing? Dying on the set of a almost snuff film or dying at a Renaissance documentary. Actually, you know what? They're not too different. Both fairly embarrassing, but for different reasons.

I bet there's snuff films produced at Renaissance Festival. Oh, for sure. Let's spread that on the right-wing media. Get those tariffed. No, dude, then I'm paying fucking $40 for a turkey like. Come on now. Oh, thank you. To that I'm a hundred percent count.

He made in America. But it is an awesome thing because we do get action, and he gets the crossbow arrow in the heart, directly in the heart. Talk about Blade. But Anthony Heald gets a shot off also, and he shoots Peter Stormair right in the neck, and it's right at the artery there.

And it's so awesome, because he's like, no, my dad must be much more cinematic than this. And I just also love, because like he is like Frankenstein's monster, he's like, Mishin, killed him all. That's his last words on this earth. It's so good. It's so good.

I ordered my snuff film heavy to kill them all. Oh, it's fucking good. And he failed. He didn't really do it. Well, Machine runs over. He gets stabbed in the belly. Oh, it's a bad one. That big old Chris Bowers. A lot of room on that. Cage grabs a knife to threaten

Eddie Poole and then Eddie Poole goes to run to get his gun, which he kicked over to Longdale, which is now under the car. He's trying to get that out while Cage like pivots and like loads his gun from the table with one bullet. Of course, Machine. He's only got

one bullet! Yeah. Thanks machine. He shoots the handcuff and escapes and Gaintle please like firing him. Again, this is very the weird like I mean it is really downtown Brooklyn but like it looks very seven here you know what I mean

we're chasing around these catwalks and shit yeah yeah this whole like you don't realize the scope of what this it's kind of like a Terminator factory you know something like that or where Robocop died like that kind of shit RIPD

but yeah there's a little bit of a chase and he gets out and he speeds away and it's just Gandal feet like fuck fuck fuck he's so mad do you think I'd be able to bring my husband back as a Robo, Backdate. Because I saw this movie where it

happened. There was a report on the news where a young boy was struck by a truck and killed, and all they did was bury him in a backyard cemetery. Could we do that for my husband? Ma'am, sometimes dad is better. You didn't watch the whole thing, you

fucking idiot. I just stabbed the machine, ma'am. I need to find a place. I got to... Could you go? Could you check out my family, please? Jeeves, the detective told me he broke the washing machine. God damn it. He tells Captain Keeney's calling her from his

great little tiny cell phone that he's got. A lot of play this cell phone gets. Very smart to be like, just go where we went last 4th of July, not exactly spelling it out over the phone. He's listening to what? Then he calls old Mrs. Christian. This is the fun, like there has to have been a better way for him

to do that. I know like the H's O right now and you're stressed out and you just battled machine and, you know, got out by the skin of your ass or whatever. But like, he's just like, hey old lady. Yeah, so here's the deal. Totally real tape. That girl was butchered and your husband paid for it.

Also, your lawyer, that guy's dead. And he was in on it. We've got to call the police. Okay, eight o'clock. Dead and evil. What was her name? Oh, is Mary Beth? No, Marianne Matthew. Perfect. All right, I'll go hang myself.

Does suicide have one C or two? I'm writing a note here. Spelling in grammatical errors in a suicide note, very embarrassing. Well, she started it with a C. What an idiot. To whom it may. Does it always have to be whom or could be who? I do.

I mean, you. See a side. What the hell is a Cicide? A sea aside. See ya. I do sort of feel like, I was thinking about this on the train. If such an old person kills himself, it's got to be another word. Like, you know, like killing a king is regicide.

Sure. This should be some. Expect a side. No shit aside Exactly But regicide is like if someone else kills a king It's not if a king commits suicide No I know but I mean

There are different forms of different kinds of things Like an old person suicide is such a I've got like five times kinds of cancer You know what I mean? I don't know it but I bet the Germans have a word for that You know that's a really good point Or you don't just call it the Gene Hackman The Better Officide

Exactly There you go So he shows up with the the door uh yeah uh sleazy detective to see mrs christian this butler who's been crying it's just like yeah she took her own life this afternoon here's uh two envelopes one's for a mary anne something or other that's one thing i guess then also here's this letter for you yeah she uh she was watching honestly she was watching independence day and she thought that the white house had exploded and i should have checked on her it's my fault it's all about the aliens

I won't let them get me. Fat chance aliens. I really shouldn't have let her watch it. I know it's my fault. I'm going to off myself while you battle Jeff Goldblow. A Jew and a black are going to go off against a world done. We're finished. I'm hanging myself.

Racist old wasp takes life, says newspaper. I'm curious, though, how much money can you fit in an envelope? Because I feel like Mary Ann Matthews knows both Wells and Mary Ann Matthews more than just a nice fat check. Maybe that stack is of checks. It's a goddamn shit me. A stack of checks. It's made out to cash a million dollars. You're totally right, though, Steve.

Like, it needs to be like one of those big orange inter-office envelopes. Like, stack that shit filled with cats. Because this is just like a business envelope. It's probably, what, like 100 grand? Like, that's great. But my daughter's dead. She's only her mother. Her mother's the only one in that well.

How much can she spend? How old is she? You know, maybe leave less to PBS and more to the fucking family of the daughter that got murdered for your fucking husband's jerk off. She's just getting what's left over after what, you know, is needed goes to rush. To rush. He needs another golden microphone. Look, he has a very bad pill addiction. It needs to be fed, okay?

Billy Graham is going to get. me to heaven, so here's a million dollars to him. Oh, that horse money is? I don't know, $4,000. The note to Cage is really bad here because it just says, try to forget it, which is a real like, I'm sorry my husband

was in on it. I'm sorry, this is real, fuck, I'm embarrassed, and yes, I'm killing myself. He goes to where Catherine Kiener is at this hideout there, or motel, whatever this is. Just fucking. tell her, man. Tell her the whole fucking story. Who gives this shit? Who's she going to tell? Who's she going to tell?

You can't even show her the movie, which would alter her forever. But if you say stuff, Phil, she'll at least understand. Right. Like, I was investigating a young girl that got killed by a guy named Machine. So obviously, things are a little sideways. On film, it was a bit, it was bit big. I think, I mean, Eric, you're right, though, because I think, like, if you explain what's going on and it's like, look, these dudes duped me also, because part of it is it's not his fault, right, that this happened. Then you possibly have a chance to, like,

more easily save your marriage. Exactly. You know. No secrets, fellas. I do like this moment where he goes to the bathroom and he's like trying to look at himself and like, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's really good.

So he's like, I got to go back out again. There's some stuff I have to finish. And this is where I agree with you. I was like, come on movie. Yeah. Like, let's just go.

Oh, the minute fucking Stormer gets one in the neck, I'm like, why are, why am I? What else are we going to do here? What's going on here? I mean, I have to kill Bauer. It's kind of cool, but like going to Machine's house. maybe too much. You know what I mean? I'm finding that if we didn't have other stops along the way, because I think that stuff is fine, but it's

like, just fucking get there. But he's like at the motel and he's like, okay, you're definitely divorcing me. Here's an envelope. It's our daughters. He says it's like the daughter's education. And more, and then then he also says, I do like the line I got to finish it. What? Because I'm the only one left to finish it. Yeah,

you're the punisher now. Fuck yeah, you're the punisher. Before we do that, we know, we should, let's go. Let's have a nice round down at Freddy's fried, fried clams. Exactly. They might as well go out for dinner. But so we're back to Los Angeles, and I love

this shot of James Gandalfini running through the backyard of this fucking Hollywood Hills porno house. That Cage, he, earlier in the film, spies them making a porno. I love when he, in that scene some guy like, hey, what's going on there? This dude chases him, and Cage pushes him

into the deep end of an emptied pool. Oh, that's so good. I love how creepy the empty pool looks out. Yes, dude. A creepy empty pool like that. Yeah, that water stink. But Gandalfi knows the heat is on, so he's, like, packing up all his porno. Dude, it's awesome. He's trying to just get out and dodgers all this porno. It reminded me very much of Chris's favorite movie, Zoo.

Oh, yeah. The feds are coming, and that guy's got a bucket full of pornography? Got to bring it with you. Mr. Wells, is it real? Okay, that one actually was. You know what, ma'am? Finally, you have watched a fucking movie that covers an atrocity. That was actually real.

Let me be really clear with you. If you go in the documentary section, you're going to find a lot of true things. I thought these are subjective. But this is great because Tom just comes up behind him cage and starts kicking the shit out of him. More just kicks to the stomach right here. And there is a great like, I could do this all day. I love kicking you. I'll never get tired of hurting you, Eddie.

Oh, God, it's awesome. And he's like asking where machine lives. I don't know. He never took off his mask. It's a fucking awesome to picture this. He's like, he shows up with the mask and he leaves with the mask. And I'm just picturing like a fucking dodge neon. pulling up to this warehouse and the dude

driving it just has the machine mask. Well, he's got like a McDonald's cup. You've stopped for drive-through for sure. Exactly, exactly. Stefan, the end of a hash brown in his mouth. Unzips it to fucking put the rest of the egg McMuffin in. And I guess it was his back of the head because he's like, why'd you watch your blade to death?

Yes. Did you come? It's question you've got to ask everybody, honestly. And it is like, Gandalfini's character has to be like, yeah, I watched it. It was fucking disgusting. And it was awful. Like, even this dude is like, it was too much.

What do I care what some rich wacko beats off to? Right. He says, I never said, why'd you stay? Why'd you stay? He's like, I ain't never seen nobody done before, which is great. Yeah, totally. But yeah, show me where you did it. Show me where he killed her. Right, they go to this, like, burned out, like, old...

And even more disgusting Hollywood Hills house. It would be even better. Oh, oh, fuck, it's a print shop now. All right, well, that's where it was. All right, I need to try to imagine what was going on. There was a lot of grease stains all over the floor, for one. Can I get behind the counter here, Mr. Sir? this is for a little bit

this gentleman over here so she was laying like right here you see and a machine sort of jabbed the knife right into her neck oh excuse yeah take the customer that's fine I can wait a baby shower congrats I do love the tying of the neck

and the arms oh yeah through this wall it's awesome and like Gandalfini's doing it kill me you fucking push you do it you can't do it can you and he does a little he makes a good point like dude him licking the gun

you shoot me they're going to tie it back to you you're going to have to dig those bullets out of my fucking head. That'll be fun, huh? It's so good. Like, Gandal, I mean, like, it's not a great, great movie, but this is one of my favorite Gendelphini performances. It's awesome. He's so, because, again, like, he's keeping up with Cage is the idea.

You know what I mean? Like, if you're doing that in the 90s, you got to fucking bring it. Absolutely. And he does, and it's fucking great. And you kind of want, like, an alternate version of this scene, because he says, very specifically, you're picking bullets out of my brain. Cage could just respond.

no, bullit and he shoots him and then fucking picks him out he's got a little pair of pleasers oh what are you going to do him but cry I killed a little girl

who I feel so bad She was nothing Nobody gave a shit about Oh yeah You gotta do all these things Leave evidence I'm gonna beat the shit of me There'd be no F oh no

He beats shit out of him And he leaves And I think Cage is gonna leave fine But then he starts being Really homophobic And he's like I gotta kill this guy Right He's just dropping the F slurs

Here and right He's like, we went the whole movie without saying it. We weren't saying it. He calls the mother. It was like, like, give me the strength to punish them. And I mean, like, like, leader. He's like, hey, how's it going? By the way, your daughter's fucking dead.

Remember that time I was like, would you want to know if your daughter was definitively dead? You remember when I asked you that and you said yes? Well, uh, I'm on the phone. Mr. Wells, it's three in the morning. Exactly. What? Who is this? You call me back during.

business hours to tell me my daughter is then. Seriously, but this is where she does this great performance. Oh, no. And she's like fucking just curling fetal position. And like he doesn't say like, tell me to kill them. He's like, give me your permission to hurt them. Yes. And he says, do you, did you love your daughter? And she's like, I loved her so

much. That's all I need to do, Annie. And I got to tell you, the thing that pisses me off is both with this scene with Gandalfini and with Joaquin, uh, getting stabbed on the cross. This shit was cut for like rating stuff. And I'm like, Come on. You had problems with all the pornography that they were showing in the movie.

I think it's just too much, too much. We're skating by that NC17. But it's a pistol whipping. Come on. Sure, but we dump all the porno on him and gas and set him on fire afterwards. You do have the enema porn scene in the middle of the movie for no reason. That you can cut. The trivia, make sure to tell you at least three times that that's a real movie.

Great, thank you. Yep, thanks a lot. Dude who definitely owns it on DVD. Do they link it in the... No. They did not. It doesn't have an IMDB page. Why not?

Great question. Attack of the NMA 7. Okay, fun. I had a false memory, though, of Gandalfini's character still being, like, conscious when the pornography is being dumped on it. Yeah, set me on fire.

Yeah, I love it. Put it in my mouth. I really had, like, a fucking false memory of him with a VHS type of his mouth. My false memory was that he was machine, which is not really. It's just too tisier.

Too stocky guys. Oh, no, no. The man from the Baltimore, Docs. I don't know. Franksabat himself. Thunderbolts, Chris? Oh, yeah. He's in Thunderbolts for a hot second, totally. He beats him to death with a gun, pours pornography all over him, and lights him on fire. It's awesome. Quite good.

Then he goes back to New York, and he starts calling around hospitals, pretending to be a cop, this stabbed wound victim we had in the stomach. Right. And I got to tell you, at this point, I was like, pretty resourceful private detective. This weirdo place in. I've never. even been to this neighborhood. What is it called? Oh, Douglaston? I've never been to Douglaston. It's like not too far from Ozone Park, I'd imagine. No, it's

north, and it's not too far east from LaGuardia. It's like almost right on the border to Long Island. Oh, okay, yeah. So it's like north, it's like northeast Queens. And this is... Three blocks up, four blocks over, that's it. It is amazing, though, because apparently Schumacher found this

neighborhood, like he got lost or something. Going to Long Island, that's where the house was. Oh, yeah, the rich people have. Yeah, the rich people. and he like got lost he thought this neighborhood was great because the graveyard of the houses and it does look awesome

it's a really nice nice neighborhoods for location shooting matters so much so much yeah especially in the rain I love the raininess of this movie the dreariness of this movie I have that when you can have a computer and we learn like

because he calls one hospital and the charge nurse is like oh yeah definitely we have that guy let me look up for a second yes George Anthony Higgins and this is good you know exactly what's going on right here, because she's like, yeah, George Anthony Higgins, his insurance

was under his mother's name, and I'm like, you know what this guy's up. He's in machine repair. What he does for a living. And it's amazing because we go to the house and machines, like mama machine is like, you see her talking in a window to machine, but you don't see Chris Bauer

yet, and she's like, I really wish you'd come with me this time or whatever. Go into the dance, grandpa. But then this lady is, going on some like church field trip there's a like one of those like half like mini like short bus school buses pulls up and it's like whatever Christian Academy. It's a total church group

deal she goes off and I do love like machines got all these dancing posters and shit the dancing posters and we're blaring this Apex Twin album on vinyl which is funny and it's so because like that I can't remember the name of the tune but it is like

that industrial sounding whatever Come to Daddy. Oh come to Daddy But if you listen to the rest of the songs that are, that album's got like three different mixes have come to daddy, but then the rest of the songs on it are super chill. Just it's not machine music at all. And I was like, thank you for pointing out the problem with Apex Twin Machine.

I want the pure machine. But I think this is super effective with the record. I love when the record gets the end. And the needle. Yeah, that needle going and going that little, that whatever that noise is is so effective. And then he's snooping around the rest of the house. and Machine sneaks in and puts it back on.

It's so good. It gave me vibes. We just rewatched it the other night. The basement scene in the Zodiac. Yeah, totally. I thought you told me there was no one else in the house. Ooh, I just got, I gave myself goosebumps thinking about that scene. And also, I guarantee you, machine isn't somebody who does not pick people up in the pit.

You know what I mean? The worst dude in the pit. No way. No way. That dude's picking up change. And if you get his way, fuck off. Uh-huh. I love that he puts the mask on.

Oh, yeah. It's the mask, but that he's a mask. wearing a flannel shirt and jeans it's so awesome uh they fight they fall through this window great thing here machined very much adjacent for his shoves cage out the window and then he gets out to be like this fight will continue what what what what and like the fucking porch breaks and he's using a machine's stomach injury to his advantage at first pretty awesome and dude I got to tell you this dude's got a fucking BDSM mask on he's a big burly guy you're fighting in the cemetery I saw this as a location shoot for a

WWFF. My God, it's a cemetery match. It's awesome. That is amongst the tombstones. Oh, machine's got him in the S&M. It's an R-block. Oh, what's that? Machine's definitely dead. Better call Mama Machine. He ain't coming home to that. She is going to be crying tonight.

What's going to happen? Do you leave him there in the graveyard with the bath? Yeah, there's a lot of questions. Okay, so let's just get through the scene. He Cage tries to get his gun. Yeah. He's got a silent of nowhere, by the way. I love that. Machine. throws the knife at him, it sticks him

with it, right? Yes. And then what happens? Basically, they fight each other. He'd reveal, he's like, take your mask off and like, he's just Chris Bauer. That's like kind of the thing. Which is, again, better if he's, then deformed, he's like, I like that it's just a guy. Because Chris Bauer also, if you haven't watched anything that he's been in, he's a

fucking awesome character actor. He's just an awesome actor. And so, like, he gives this whole thing about, like, would you expect me to be some big monster? I don't know why I'd do it. I wasn't molested as a kid. Daddy didn't hit me. I just liked you're looking for the first draft we had that idea

don't get me wrong I had that idea but no I'm a normal banality of evil is way more effective it absolutely is 100 and I love the line where they get back into it you know it's a fight and he's just like I do these things because I like them and Cage gets the knife and just stabs

him with his own knife he pulls the knife out of himself and stabs Chris Barrow with and it's fucking great and then he leaves him in a mud puddle In Douglaston in a graveyard next to his house. Dying in a Douglaston graveyard with a knife in my belly. Put the mask back on. Oh, yeah.

I want to die as machine definitely. That's how he wants to go. There's definitely in his will. It's like, please put machine on that. But it's crazy, like, he leaves the mask, like, right next to him and just walks off. And I'm picturing, like, a watchman, like, somebody killed the machine tonight. Oh, shit, machine died. We're doing the episode.

We talked to a machine a couple of years back. Just going to unlock this one from the vault. Definitely commercials are still on it. But it's in his memory. Such a bummer machine. Titan in the porn industry. All the legends are leaving us. You know, the feds never got him.

That's what we're going to remember him. The feds they always were searching never got him. You know, Asfister died last week, too. We're losing them left. They go in threes. The porn grade's going three. I like how it was Cage doing Mark Bair. It's just Mark Baxter.

Cage drives himself to an emergency room We've got the ubiquitous Like I fall out of the car in the parking lot The nurse runs out shot This is a question Does he tell anyone how he got this wound Does he tell them about the machine Also get out of Douglas did dude

Because you got to if you're going to an emergency room You got to go to the Bronx or something You got to drive far away And it's just I was walking down the street And someone stabbed me Oh my God Only in New York But yeah that's I mean

that's the end of it. He goes home. He sees a little baby Cindy in the, in the bed. The save me moment is a bit much. It's my, my thing. He's breaking down though. Dude, I mean, it's just, I mean, it's a really great, and it's what he should have done earlier in the film, right, is go to his wife and just be like, I am in too deep with this shit. I need help or like whatever it is. But he's asking for it in here. You know, you present something like cruising where, like the end of that movie is so chilling, you know what I mean? Well, there's a different, that movie was made in 1980. like we didn't we weren't allowed to have endings like that but this is a major release too in the late 90s but also like at the like there's nothing there's nothing in this movie where

it's like he's there's something in him that's actually attracted to this stuff they never like give you like what it is just like that's why I kind of find this movie boring in a way is because it really is just a job for him yeah like he really has no like interest in that nothing this doesn't dig up anything you should be into snuff it should it should stir something it's funny that you You made that joke about the, you're looking for the other draft joke because there's trickles of it, right? Because Joaquin's character is like, oh, hey, so after they do like the fucking porn swap meet or whatever, and he has the line like, oh, yeah, so, you know, what about tonight or whatever? And he's like, I didn't get turned on if that's what you're asking. And he's like, but it didn't turn you off either.

The devil's blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you see, like, when he's doing that, I was making fun of him looking so close at the television, he's analyzing the tape. he's that's where he's got the like it's a leather sleeveless shirt and he's looking and like so I feel like maybe another draft is he gets a little oh I'm sure yeah it was definitely a good movie at some point for sure at some point it was good still is yeah the last thing is he's raking the lawn very much like the bad movie dream scenario by the way what is that oh that was dreams do you mean no yeah I know you're talking about the cage movie A2 4 yes I never from last year I didn't see it oh dream scenario yeah yes uh no but that's it he got he

He receives a letter from... This struck me as very much the cadence of this reading of this letter struck me as the end of taxi driver. Oh, yeah. Even though she lives, but it's so very much like, and she's doing well or whatever. Oh, you're totally right. The letter for writing to us. Yes. Oh, good pull, dude.

Yeah. And it's totally right. I will get, you know, I'll do something good with the money once I get help. So obviously she's going to clean her toilet at least, which would be great. Get all that loose wood out of her back. What's all that boards? We've hired someone to clean the toilet. Don't worry, someone's cleaning the toilet.

She refused. But we fade out on a cage looking back at Catherine Keener, and he gets a little bit of a smile. And it's not a everything's going to be all right smile. It's a today I'm not dead smile. Yeah, sure. Like, he's still clearly traumatized or whatever, but he's got her, at least for now.

So not a happy ending, but not a cruising. Yeah, exactly. The result of being into deep ending. But that is the end of 8mm, thus bringing us to the close of our 800th episode. We'll go around the hornier for some final thoughts and possible recommendations, Mr. Siska. Yes, it's a big recommend.

I do like it. I guess I get the idea that it is a little long. Maybe it could have been cleaned up a little bit. Maybe they could have shown more sexual violence to Chris's point. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, it's not perfect, but I haven't seen it in forever. And I was like, damn, I had a really good time with it today.

I don't know why. but maybe because I'm a sick ticket. It's also a rainy day, by the way. Yeah, perfect day to be watching 8mm, that's true. Chris Cabin. Yeah, I mean, it's not a recommend for me, but, like, it's certainly, it's right there. It's on the edge, like, for me, I guess. It's edging.

It is edging also. It would be nice. I mean, I just, I think Cage is good. I think it's got some good performances in it. I think the script doesn't really want to deal with a lot of the ideas that are there, and maybe that is something that was edited out over the times that this was taken. And I think, you know, it's a pretty well-directed movie. I just, again, it's long.

I find it timid in certain parts. And I do kind of feel like all the cutting back to Keener just slows it down. And I don't feel it adds anything. Like, I don't feel any more like, oh, I get to know Cage even more through her. I don't. It's just there. Yeah. Steve Zanex.

Yeah, no, it's a recommend for me for sure. This is a, I've caught this on cable maybe once or twice. This is a great, like, close to an ass bag. You're going to watch 40 minutes of this movie if it's on T&T in the act. You're not going to miss a baptism over it. No, exactly. I think it's because the cast is great.

Again, the late great Joel Schumacher knew how to direct a movie and make it engaging. I agree with Chris with the script problems. I think that Catherine Keener specifically is supposed to be this great thing, but she's fucking flimsy as shit. And that's not her fault. It's just the script.

And again, it's got script problems, but I do think that this movie, even though it's a little long, It does move. It gets the fireworks factory and it has a lot of fun with it. Fun, you know, italicize. Sure.

And that candle Feeney porn death, my God. Oh my God, it's great. No, this is a recommend for me. This is only, I'm pretty sure only the second time I've seen it, at least all the way through, that's for sure. I had a good time with it. It was definitely better than I remembered,

you know, which is something that, you know, the difference between watching a movie when you're 15 and when you're fucking 41. So, you know, whatever. Not the best Nicholas Cage movie, not the best Joel Schumacher movie of any stretch of the imagination. but for me bumming being like oh fuck

123 minutes that's outrageous I honestly didn't really feel it but that is going to bring us to the close of episode 800 and you know like we say every time we hit one of these milestones we're only still doing this because you still keep listening so thank you for keeping this train rolling keeping it on the track keeping us

putting out new episodes for you every Tuesday yeah if you want more we hate movies check out the Patreon patreon.com slash we hate movies with this month we got a we love movies all about Mission Impossible Fallout as this is is technically part of the summer

blockbuster extravagance. Do with that what you will. You get it to the 800, you got 8MM 880s. You got it, right? You've figured it out. There's a lot of action in this. Yeah, exactly. Joe Schumacher is a big blockbuster director. Precisely, precisely. Batman for crying out loud.

That's right. But so you can also catch episodes like this, ad free on there, of course. Every We Hate Movies episode that's on this free feed with commercials, you can get on there without them commercials. What are we doing on the AED this month? We are doing your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, that new Spider-Man show that came out, I believe, this year. Just this January.

Yeah, great new cartoon about the Spider-Man. We have a lot of fun about the pilot, so it's a good jumping off point if you're interested in that show or interested in animation, damnation. It's really funny. That's right. And so to clarify, because I was confused about what month it is, who are we talking about in the Glebe Glossary?

Queller. He's an evil, dark Jedi from Star Wars Rebellion novel, very side character, but he's voiced by our own Anthony Heldon here. We hear a little bit of that on the episode. We do. We play a little snippet of the audio book. It's a lot of fun. I had a really good time laying that one down.

Oh, yeah. So that's going on. Melrode 210, the fallout of the Daddy Wars. Daddy Wars is just concluding. We're seeing the ends of it. And it's really tragic. The smoldering ashes of Daddy Wars. But as one goes in the ashes, whatever the hell the Australian Chris is doing

on Melrose Place, it's getting weirder by the second. Just weirder each and every week with Chris the Australian on Melrose Place so you're not going to want to miss that. Also, of course, the Nexus. We are talking about a Reg. Barclay, TNG. And we're talking about an animated series episode that just is like a sequel to

possibly the worst TOS episode. They go back to the vacation island and Allison Wonderland shit again. Oh, sure leave. Yeah, sure leave is the TOS episode. Yeah, so all that's going on. But like we mentioned already, every Tuesday a new episode of We Hate Movies, drop it on this

free feed and also on the Patreon. Eric Siska, what will we be talking about next week? We'll be talking about Star Wars Colin Episode 3-Dash Revenge of the Sith. Pound dollar sign. Yes, yeah.

Star 69. Oh, hell yeah, dude. There's some Star 69ing in this movie, I feel. Really? Some Stars are 69ing. The Stars are 69ing tonight. The Twin Moons of Tatooine 69, right? They're like on top of each other.

That's right. Do they have mouths? And they're related, so it's double crazy. See, so all this and more next week when we do a proper episode, because if you'll recall, if you're like, didn't they talk about this already, we did a commentary on this movie 100 years ago. So this is fresh, shish eyes on a full, full-ass episode. Yeah.

Talking about episode three. So until next week with episode three, Revenge of the Sith, I've been Andrew Jupin. Steven Zinn. Eric Siskin. Take it easy. It's a lot of it.