We Hate Movies - S15 Ep801: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

“Hold on to your hats, folks, Chris Cabin likes this movie!” - Eric On this week’s episode, we’re going back to The Prequels on the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza to do a proper episode on Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith! How great is that Count Dooku exit at the beginning? How catty are all the sarcastic Battle Droids? Does this movie have the best-looking space battles in all the prequels? How funny is R2 lighting those guys on fire after whizzing oil all over them? And, yeah, that Vader shout at the end of the movie is still one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments in all of Star Wars! PLUS: Palpatine blurs out his Zoom background when making secret calls from the toilet! Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith stars Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christian, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Jimmy Smits, Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Daniels, Christopher Lee, Bruce Spence, Silas Carson, Temuera Morrison, Kenny Baker, and Frank Oz as the voice of Yoda; directed by George Lucas. Don’t miss our next Worldwide Digital Event, happening Friday, June 20th at 9pm/eastern where we’ll be LIVE talking about a total superhero all-timer, Superman II! Join us that night to revel in all the fun with Zod & Friends, everyone at the Daily Planet, and the two legendary performances from Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman! Replay available for 14 days after broadcast!  Tickets are going fast for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20. Tickets are going fast—our shows on Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser are already SOLD OUT—so don’t wait, snag your tix today!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, we're going back to a galaxy far, far away as we talk about Star Wars, colon, episode three, hyphen, revenge of the Sith. I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Scythka. War! I mean, Chris, haven't. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. War. That's what is happening. You know that opening scroll, right? It's Star Wars. And then you go down and it's war again. I'm like, I already heard.

heard that part. Yeah, why don't we get a fucking editor on this scroll? I have a bad editor right there. You're going to use a synonym for war. How about battles have begun? We have movies. Movies! George, yeah, you should have gotten a scroll editor. That's the special editor for that. We're going to go through the

scroll piece by piece line item by line item. We're going to go through the dossier and this, that. We're going to go through the whole thing. But we quickly should mention, Steve Sadek, not here today because I was holding two pairs of scissors. And Andrew said, do it. And I cut his head off.

Oh, how big are these scissors? Huge, dude. Like, remember the scissors in Big Lobowski when he was the nightmare? I got like four of those in my closet. Yeah, we're nihilists, Chris. You are. Yeah. We believe in nothing, Jedi.

Where's the leather? I'm not seeing any. Oh, I got a leather underwear out of her right now. I'm going to a party after this. Oh, okay. Hey, I don't know if we confirmed it when we did that 8mm episode, but that guy who's working the porn flea, flea market, like the illegal pornography

flea market? And I was like, is that the tall nihilus from Lubowski? It was. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, yes, we are here to talk about Star Wars Episode 3. You may recall a thousand light years ago.

We did a commentary on that sucker which Chris was not on, but Steve was. So now, Chris is on this episode and Steve is not. I think that's fitting. Yeah, bring in balance to the force. Exactly. As the prophecy says. Steve's in a galaxy far, far away, Mexico. Vacation must I will take.

It is needed. Hey, it's needed. Yeah, recharge those bats. Totally. I wonder what that's like. Anyways, here we are. We're talking about Star Wars Episode 3 because it's the 20th anniversary. This is 2005. Of course, directed by G.L. himself, George Lucas.

Big man. That's right. Absolutely. Yeah, you know, I feel like this one, I never really hated. I remember the hoopla working at the multiplex when it came out and everybody, because everybody was still, like excited even though like we didn't like clone wars it was like well here's another shot like here's another bite of the apple let's do it george they're ending it's ending come on like

it's the big story we're gonna we're gonna see we're gonna rush through it finally gonna get to the Darth Vader thing that's the probably like that's it you know what you say that and if that is the argument against this movie I would say that is more the the failing of attack of the clones not being more about this stuff what argument that like there's not an evader in this That the transition from Annie to full-on Vader is handled kind of quickly. I think it's done pretty well. I don't have that issue. That it's okay to like a movie.

And hold on to your hats, folks, at home, especially those that listen to our age of Ultron episode. Chris Cabin likes this movie. Oh, yeah. This is your fourth favorite of all Star Wars? If we're counting out the original trilogy, which I think is untouchable, its own thing, those three are always going to be the top ones. right this is the best of the not yes didn't you say he was tied with Last Jedi Last Jedi is like right there

it's it's a tell me which day it is you know then exactly it will change that that's kind of with me the way the winds blow right that no that that's a good like the limit you think about like when these movies were coming out a lot of people hated them this was like they were mocked you know especially Phantom Menace which I've actually

warmed too I like it better than this movie Simon Pegg made a whole career start over that that whole Edgar Wright show was just bitching about it what the heck is spaced is I mean so much it's an amazing show I love that I'm not knocking spaced at all

but so much of it was like centered around hating Phantom Menace I think specifically and just being dorks like it was kind of the next level like that was essentially us moving away from Tarantino like hyper talk about it

to like slow talk about it yeah everybody sit down you know someone light of fire in the fireplace we're gonna tell you why these movies are terrible A bunch of mini jokes in there. I think Pegg still to this day is like, I will,

he said something about like, I see a lot of people like turning around on Phantom Menace and that's totally fine. I will never be one of those people. Like, he's just hardcore, like, OT only. Have a strong opinion. Why not? But what I was getting to is like,

the sequel trilogy is hated by a lot of people online, just like how the prequels were hated online. So just hold on to your hats, folks, that hate the sequel trilogy. It's going to be beloved. 10 years, I guarantee it. Here's the thing. I don't think that whatever the dislike of this movie was when this thing ended, it has not been as resonating as the end of this sequel trilogy. Well, because in 2005, we didn't have social media. Well, yeah, but that's like that that's just something

they should, they should, I mean, like, but that's something they have to do with anyway. Like, I think Rise of Skywalker is like, I told you, I was, we were, on the text the other day. I think it ended JJ Abrams' career maybe. Has he directed an actual motion picture since then? I don't think so. It's all been production. Producer time. It's like, let me step away from

immediately behind the camera. Let me ask you about 2005, Chris. Yeah. C.C. Were you on the BB? Were you on those bulletin boards? I was not one of those guys. I would read them. I wouldn't post. I never got onto like the Oscar stuff on any of that stuff

that was huge on early internet. I I didn't get into that. X-Files chats on AOL. No, no, no, no, that's me. That's the best as far as I went. But then once I moved off of, like, those AOL chats, my nerd stuff never really traveled into message boards. Right.

And then, like, I got live journal, and I guess that's where it sort of picked up again once I had a live journal and was, like, reading other people's stuff. But, like, the boards, like, I was never on the boards. And to this day, like, I don't use Reddit for many reasons. But that's also kind of what, it just reminds me of the boards. That's fair. You know, like, had they listen, what's funny, the sequel trilogy, they listened to the boards to reformulate the ending of it or whatever, but, and they did not back in.

I think a lot of light, uh, internet usage of that time all got funneled into social media use. So like, yeah, a lot of your opinions that you would have posted on a Star Wars board, you then posted on Twitter, you posted on blue sky, you posted on Facebook, posted on whatever you're, you're using at the time. Yeah. And like so, but like, there's still, the. real nerds still go back to those things they're still there and Reddit is what created this. I don't I'm kind of glad that at least for the prequel as has always been my opinion of the prequels. It is at least all the

comes from the mind that you know whatever it is comes from the man's mind. It's George. It's all George. It's George. And I have a lot of questions but like still it is his and you can feel it organically comes from a man. Sure. I mean I think he at the time was talking

about I wanted Spielberg to do one. I wanted Ron Howard to do one. And they were like, no, George, this is your thing. And I mean, I don't think they were so strong in their career at their time. They probably thought that would be a retraction. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're not going to slum it in your prequels. Right.

Go from Apollo 13 to Star Wars prequel or whatever. Right. But at the same time, Ron Howard ended up doing one later. After kicking up other director scraps, by the way. Exactly. And it's just, I feel bad. And after the shine was off the apple with Ron. I mean, like, his directing career was still very, very hot at the time.

it's got like peaks and valleys like you know so that was at a time when i think it was still at a peak like at the time he did come in for solo like i i feel like we were like oh it's a ron how ron how it's just ron how and you know what's funny about like directorial stink like that too i'm genuinely surprised that that um whatever i can't remember the name of the movie but the movie that he had at toronto um eden yes i'm genuinely finally i think it's coming out But it's with like a nobody and no offense. I think it's at like a vertical entertainment or somebody like that. I'm like, how is this movie that has like real deal movie stars, a real budget, and is like a real movie that's actually kind of good?

How is this not at universal? Who's fucking soup did this dude piss in? Are they flying you out to an island to watch it forever take you by to give you a special feeling? Hell yeah, dude. Being in the movie. Well, let's get immersive with this. We open on the vacuum of space. Yeah, where we have war.

And then here come the rest of the words. Okay. The Republic is crumbling under the attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord Count Duku. Hell yeah. So you don't need Darth. You can be a Sith Lord without Darth. The cartoon, don't worry, fixes that by makes it Darth Tyrannis. You never hear him actually be called that in what I say is real life.

He's got two names? Duku is Darth Tyrannis? Yes. Oh, oh, I see. you never hear about that stuff I mean there's a lot of interesting stuff about Duku that they fleshed out that you never see it like I think Quigon was helping train him or something

I don't remember all the details people on the Reddit though Duku is his actual so it's Skywalker It's like his actual man I believe so Jeff Duku And then we get there are heroes on both sides Dude that hits a little differently 20 years later It's a fucking space Charlottesville over here

But even Even like before space Charlottesville Like what the hell is he talking about? about evil is everywhere i mean i guess we're saying like well some of the separatists are all right maybe the the the the the the techno union guys cool all right right yeah i guess so but like who are the good guys on the fucking uh dark side of things well i that's the thing it's it's it's all divided right you got ducu who's a bad guy on the separatist side you got sidious who's a bad guy on the republic side right so i guess that's what they're trying to contextualize well to get you

ready because you know Annie is about to be like well actually the chance or maybe his he's got some points he's got some pretty good ideas I don't know and then the next line living forever is pretty cool this one really doesn't make sense in a stunning move the fiendish droid

leader I guess you know what now I'm reading this droid leader because I think they were trying to imply that he is a droid but he's not a droid I guess because he has battle droids because he is a droid looking like guy but he's got an alien heart and brain and eyes oh you're talking about general grievous yeah i think this is a a famous uh a mix them up because they had to change it

afterwards maybe um but it's like a robocop like you wouldn't say robo cop's a guy well i would say he's a guy no he's a robot dude well no he's a cop first bot second robo but when you're more machine than man i think you can just do whatever the then the opening crawl of a new hope should be like oh the ruthless black droid darth Vader is coming after everyone. I mean, that's also a machine. I would say Robicopi is still a person goes, a human brain is the controlling apparatus.

Ah, sure. Rather than a... We're nitpicking. We're nitpicking. But here's a movie I would like to see, you know. Grievous going through the Republic Capitol and kidnapping Chancellor Palpatine. Hot damn, let me sit down and watch that.

That would be nice. Like, this is what's always funny about the scrolls for these movies is when they mention something that you're like, shit, I would have loved to have seen. seen that in the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this. When we start with this scroll and it's like, okay,

Duku and Grievous, these are our bad guys. Get ready for that. And then like, it immediately plunges us into this huge battle. And like, I love the intro, the way they do, like get the little, we're on their ships and then crawling over into the battle. It's visually, it's visually nice. Like, I like going right into the space battle. It does some, I'm not saying this in a,

about the space battle, but some of these CGI scenes, when it's just CGI, every single thing is fake. You couldn't get a guy to wear a suit of armor for five seconds. It just starts really losing me. My eyes glaze over. I can't watch it. That stuff, yeah, when it's

close up and it's people things. I agree, but all of the space battle stuff I think looks really awesome. And this first one, it's, yeah, so we are following the two Jedi Knights and to rescue Chancellor Palpatine, which is idiot. And to the scroll, and it end of this girl, we come in here

and it's Obi-Wan, then it's Anakin, and we're flying around and we're trying to get to this huge ship where he's being held captive and all these, like, insane droid ships and everything are coming after us. I love this, like, stuff in here that happens, little cool details, like the droid that's with

the droid that's with Obi-1 R4, just getting scalped and murdered by like these little, like, little mouser droids almost. Oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, my God. He's just getting fucking killed. He is such a catty bitch.

And like the little, like the way he's like, oh, I guess I, this is going to be a bad day. And stuff like that. I'm just like, God damn it, man. Shut the fuck up. Like, I like that though. I like, I like my Obi-Wan catty, a little bitchy. It's fine. But I like, but at least it's a perspective.

Hayden Christensen is delivering these lines so woodenly. And he does know how to do it. I feel like maybe the direction of. George, there's crossed wires. Also, like, he has to interact. Maybe I'm defending him now, going from trashing him to defending him, because he has to interact with

nothing. Like, he's sitting in a wooden chair, and it's like, okay, this is a starship around me. Fake push buttons. I've always thought that the woodenness with, at least, this is my opinion, now at least, is that it's because

he wants him to, like, when he does turn, he wants it to be a little of a surprise, even though it can't be a surprise. Like, we know what's coming. Yeah. But, like, I think he wants, like, that, like, so that we don't feel it one way or the other, like, so that, like, his emotions don't register on his face for anything. Yeah.

Like, that's the only way I can explain it, like, because then otherwise it is just Lucas being like, well, whatever, do what you want. And then, you know, and then the turn happens so fast. I want more nuance in this. I want him to be grappling with these emotions in some way, and you just don't get that. I mean, he gets whiny, which is kind of close to it. But, I mean, we're getting way ahead of ourselves. But, like, when they get to great, like, I love that Lucas has the brain to be like,

we're going to have a bunch of stuff happen on the, on the way there. Like, the, uh, the Gremlin bots on the little Gremlin bots, which are cool. The vulture bots that are coming off of it. Vulture bots I noted was a very stupid name for this version of. Just because they kind of look like birds, I guess. Yes, sort of. Not great. But, like, they, you know, they almost die on their way to the degree of his ship.

Obi-Wan is ready to go to hell tonight. He's just like, leave me behind. Go get the chancellor. I'll be back here blowing up with these droids. Someone has stolen Chancellor Hitler from the Reichstag. We've got to save him. Pretty much. Well, you know, because it's the proper order of things.

You know, he's a head of his legitimate head of his state. The Academy of German Witches has to send their best guys. Warlocks and witches go out. with Hitler, though, like, you knew what was up with that guy. Like, Palpatine is hiding. He's hiding. He's hiding. And, you know, like, the whole, like, Darth Sidious thing. Look, I just have to be in charge of the Senate because it's better that way.

It's just better that way. People won't believe me when I say this, but there was media at the time. There were shows like entertainment night or whatever else, and there were magazines, maybe even Star Wars Insider. I don't remember specifically, but I used to buy those in the lead up to the prequels. I was a Star Wars kid in the 90s. so in tune with this and they were legit trying to be like

well you don't really know if Darth Sidious is Emperor Palpatine you don't know like it's just another guy with a hoodie on that's so funny oh no where this is going exactly we all know which also kind of diffuses

the tension around anything as well but then of course they are the same like the problem is the casting of Ian McDarmid as as Chancellor problem like just do a different guy

and then in this one he gets all his force lightning shoved back into his face and then he just looks and sounds like the emperor and nobody would give his shit to be honest I always preferred the idea that it was just an wretched old piece of shit that wouldn't give up the throne which you see a lot of lately

sure do instead of just a guy that's young that is now looking old well I guess that's why he was able to slap so much ass huh Chris well yeah produce all those kids Oh, right, I forgot about it. He was fucking, dude, he was coming. Well, because he was after this, after the events of this film, he's coming. He was in the chair, so, like, he had a, aim was easier.

Like, you know, it's a direct hit. I got a few. I don't know. Just get on top of me. No, he's not banging shit, dude. He's doing, like, this fucking scumbag, Elon shit where it's like, I drizz and cop, and then you can do with it what you will. I'm drifted in a droid, and now it's going to come and deliver it to you. Yes, exactly.

And then the droid's going to inseminate you. R-69 rolls in. It takes out a big. like a syringe full of the emperor's juiciness well that's the thing is it doesn't it sex is not what he enjoys turkey baster he enjoys the idea that

he has a meat bot of his own made with his own juices ready to go at any time I like the idea of a meat bot right why don't you put a put a bunch of flesh on top of you see Grievous is a robot stuff on a flesh thing yeah heart I see the heart

do the other way put exoscelal you know like an internal skeleton of a, like a robot inside and then put flesh on it. What you're describing is a terminator. Yeah, what you want is a terminator. See, but you guys are saying meatbots like that and I'm thinking like it's a little sameo kind of guy

that wheels around but it's like sameo working at a Brazilian steakhouse like one of those like you turn the paddle to green and they start cutting all the meat off and then you turn the paddle over to the red and they stop. No, no, no, you can't be given any robots knives. I'm sorry. As I said meatbots, I was

talking about children specifically. the children of Elon Musk because they would all be the same as him at least that's what he has to be hoping I guess well he's hoping but then they all just grow up to hate his rotten guts half of them and these are going to hate you like I don't know man but yeah so here's this

we get introduced to General Grevis coughing his way through this space station and like I don't know George a robot with emphysema is not an interesting idea I need to see the mace if you're going to do this shit like I kind of agree with the people who like hate it because I'm like well then

show the Mace Windu scene. If you want to explain it, because that's where it came from. Mace Windu crushed his fucking lungs. This is from the cartoon? That's the cartoon explanation. Okay. So, like, if you are, but like, of course, because it didn't, this drives me

insane. Take it easy. It drives me insane because, like, the fact that the cartoon is now like, well, it explains it all now. I'm like, but yeah, but this was before that. So he just had the cough. This is just a character that you've never seen before unless you watch that cartoon. And, you know, I think

Grievous's design is cool. I think he's cool to look at. But, like, that is another tick that it's just like, well, you know, Darth Vader breathed heavily. What if this guy breathes heavily, but he coughs? Yeah. I'm like, oh, you're definitely not out of ideas. And, you know, now I understand why General Grievous would wear a cape. You've got that biological mind, so you start, you're self-conscious, you know, about your body, because even though it's a robot body.

It's like Ultron wearing his cape. Exactly. Well, no, point of order on Ultron, because that was just a robot, robot, robot. I don't understand the robot robot's just wearing capes. Because we have that in this scene. I'm trying to fake the funk and be a person. That's fair. He's trying to become a man in Ultron, too, so that's fair.

But you're saying Grievous wears the cape to hang on to some sort of his humanity. Like, I used to wear capes as a person. Also, there's also a strategy, too, because it does hide the four, the two other arms. Oh, yeah, he's, and he gets all, he's got all the pockets and he can have all the lightsabers hand. He could go to the candy convention with Marge and fit a bunch in there. Every gummy bear. See you in hell, Jedi Man! Actually, to that, when he's like, oh, I'm going to add your lightsaber to my collection.

And he opens it up. Dude, he's collecting these things like fucking ears in Vietnam. Yeah, it's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool detail. And then he just goes, and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's done again. Well, he's like a nom vet. He's a cigarette smoking guy. Zero health care for veterans when they come back.

Yeah, I spent some time around the American Legion when I was a kid. they're all like general grievous yeah like i just don't understand how you don't see the difference between like a tick and like that's his voice that's vader's voice like that's how it is like it's not a tick like this and it's not like i i i just like yeah i just i don't i always get angry about this shit for no reason even though this is your fourth favorite movie i do i mean like this but like i like i like the character i think the character's great i don't really care about it i mean the real the weakest of the lynx is attack of the clones that you there's what a waste it's just yeah that That's, that's, everybody knows that.

Previous episode, also, Phantom Madness previous episode twice. We've been doing them. I feel like I said this on the Attack of the Clones episode, but like the last, like, part of that movie with the actual battle, like, that's cool. Yeah. But everything in the lead up to that, including the wedding, like, it's just woof. But anyway, so here we are. And we got a classic elevator action going on here. A lot of elevator action in this movie.

And I love the, we're trying to snoop around and get up to. rescue palpatine or whatever. R2 leaving the speaker phone on so that all these, I don't know, I think they're battle droids like hear it because like Obi-Wan's like, echoing. Oh, hey, R2, could you please send this elevator up to whatever? And it's like blaring out

into this cargo hold, all these droids are like, who the fuck's talking right now? It's so weird. It's so weird. R2D2 holding like a cell, like a cell phone and like sort of hiding behind. He looks like a human being with the way he's hiding here. And he has to muffle it in his compartment So that he does that be And I'm like

Are you at least hearing it R2? Do you get all these messages at least? This is the one of the few times Where I'm like oh this is stuff that like Maybe George wanted to do And the original trilogy but couldn't Because like With just like holding a garbage can on wires

Like it would look shitty But this is like The activation of R2 Like fighting these guys And like the fact that he has battle strategy Like oh I'm gonna piss oil all over the floor That light it on fire And light all these dudes on fire

or whatever. And then fly he flies and looks down observing his work like yes I have fucking burned them all dude I love evil R2 I do not like R2 being this tactile like he's a tier one operator here like I guess maybe you can explain away oh bail Oregon at the end says wipe their memory

and then he forgets how to kill people and he forgets how to fly it's kind of weird that he never flies in the O.T but it's inevitable it's an inevitable outcome when you make R2 a character like this though because like you have to have he's so much more of a character

than a fucking like he is a character in the OT but like yeah because you can do more with him now it's like what are all the story possibilities for R2? It was a mistake to bring them into the prequel's my mind. You have so many toys to say do you know how many toys of R2 we now? Oh yeah

that's the back log he wants to unload but like have a new droid a new new set of droids to go on these adventures and then like R2 and C3Bere just being these hapless droids that got tied up in the Galactic Civil War is more interesting to me

than the fact that Darth Vader created them with his own little hands. And invited them to his wedding where they were best man. But then how how would they know it's a Star Wars? But how is Darth Vader not on the fucking death story going, what the fuck? These two. My babies.

My babies are here. I must be losing my mind. Somebody take over. I'm losing my mind. I've got Darth dementia. I've got Darth Bemantia. I knew I'd get it. I knew I'd get it. Thanks for my father had it.

I didn't know him, but I know he had it. I have to get to a doctor immediately. Jesus Christ. The Alzheimer's as strong with this one. Emperor, I have failed you. I am seeing my bots everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's just the, that's the force.

It's like severe early onset Alzheimer's. Oh, no. I'm moving stuff. My master, the TV is talking to me. Yet again. So we get to the top and here's fucking palpit. team handcuffed to a chair and he's doing a bad job of being like oh thank you for saving me like the dude is really not doing a good job faking the funk here oh i i hate that i have been taken

against my will yeah oh no oh no please help me jenai night i hate these people that i'm with right now i don't i disagree with them on most things oh look out he's a sith lord Sith lords are speciality. You killed one by like practically mistake in that first book. So don't go crazy. Yes, here comes Christopher Lee's Count Duku and his cartoon jumps off a balcony and lands down on the platform where they are.

We're going to fight it out here or whatever. I love, we pointed this out, I think, on the commentary, but I still love it. Christopher Lee's ergonomically correct lightsaber. Oh, I can't bend my wrist that far. I love this lightsaber because it looks like a gas pump. It does. It looks like it'll fill it up.

Oh, I will fill her up all right. Clearly, it's for a Sith Lord who has been at the computer for most of his life. Yeah, exactly. And it's had to deal with all these all this shit. So finally, he can have his wrist right. Right, and then we get two against one, which I don't know, Jedi. That doesn't

seem very fair. That you're supposed to be the good guys here. Yeah, not very Jedi like here. And this is elder abuse. This guy's so old. Like, what do you do? You two young guys beating the shit I have an old man that's not the Jedi we're also told that by this point Anakin's powers have doubled

so it's almost like your triple team in this old fuck nice he's been out in the woods I guess like chopping down trees and like killing pigs and getting his RP up and you know killing pigs and sand people of course of course there's a line right over here like oh remember those

fucking sand people and then you hear their howls comes in like I guess it's haunting him or something I guess he's thinking that. It should be R2's speaker phone against. Artu, why did you record that? Well, somebody had to.

Historical preservation. He's got a snuff film on him. R2, I have to find out if the snuff film is real. Ardue, playback the entire message. What happened? That girl went away. Did they kill her? He killed all those sad people, didn't he?

That's a real death. Like 10 years. And you can pitch that Star Wars. They'll be looking for 8mm, Star Wars. I would love to help consult. I know both worlds very well. You got 10 years. As we've seen with Andor, like you mold Star Wars into like a really sophisticated, like political thriller kind of thing.

Like you can do that with it. Let's, I mean, I know they've done it with like books and shit. Did I see something about, I'm not going to say it's a movie or anything, but there was something about like that horror Star Wars thing. All right. There's potentially a show. I don't know where that's going. Yeah, that'd be cool. And then let us come in.

the fucking Star Wars comedy. It's going to be great. It's like meatballs and Star Wars. It'll be awesome. There was like a zombie Star Wars book that came out years ago. Probably a decade at least. I think it's no longer canon. That's, you know, pre-Disney, I believe.

And one of the characters, and that was named Kale. Cale? Yeah, spelled exactly. Is there somebody else named Tofu? Doth Tofu. So Obi-Wan fucking shits the bed in this fight really quickly. He gets thrown and crushed, under a platform.

Like, yeah, like you, do you want Duku to win here, Eric? Is that why? Because, like, yeah, oh, you do. Okay, you're, I'd rather watch Christopher Lee than Hayden Christensen. Well, that's fair. Even though I don't have anything against

Aiden Christensen. Okay. But I don't like this balcony falling on Obi-Wan because I think the CGI looks really janky here. And it's just like shoving it even further on him. I just don't think it looks particularly good.

It doesn't, no. It's very, like, click and drag. It feels like a PlayStation 3 glitch or something that you're looking at. But badass shit here, right? Anakin cuts off both of Duke whose hands and you at least get to see this.

We get his like two cauterized wrists, which is a really awesome shot. And then he's got his own lightsaber and the ergonomically correct lightsaber both pointed at this dude like scissors, like Eric said at the beginning episode. And it's just a real fucking kill him now, kill him now.

He just does it. And this is, yeah, this is Palpatine like slipping up a bit. Do it. Yes, do it. Do it. Would get a great moment for real emotional. You know, like, oh, like, because he's just like, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that.

That's not the Jedi way. But if he was really, like, emotional about this, like, like, I'm, like, this is, like, terrible. I'm falling. But aren't they also not supposed to get emotional, though? So, like, where do you draw that line? Fair, but it's, it's certainly not, I shouldn't have done that. Yeah, okay. I'll give you that.

It's like a light prank. It's like Dennis the. menace or something. But I do, that I think is the, when you force all of this into one movie because so little of it is at the end of attack of a clones of his, like, you get the

the slaughtering of the sand people. Right, that happens. He goes back to Avenge Smee Skywalker. That's fair. He's starting, that's sort of the starting point. That is it. Because this is the, this is the Palpatine line where he's like, oh, look what you just did there. Kind of reminds me about that story you told me about

what you did to the sand people in the movie when you avenged your mother's three Skywalker. See, because it doesn't bother me so much because as we've said, like, this is inevitable, like this is happening. I just realize those sand people like crying out, and you hear that, that's the souls

he's captured, right? He's a soul collector. Oh yeah, he's like Shangsoon. Yes, exactly. But he has like a cloud because he's a Jedi, like he doesn't have to collect them in anything. It's just store it around him. Right. Much like the force. Like he has They're kind of just floating around bothering him at all hours.

If you could see ghosts in Star Wars, it would be like 10,000. Oh, you can with Force Ghosts, but if you could see regular people ghosts, there's like a 10,000 following Darth Raider at all time. Oh, you wouldn't be able to see him. The glow would just cover him. It's such a shine, yeah. Holy shit, what kind of army does Anakin have? Oh, no, those are just the souls following him around.

There's too many of them. We should mention the line here that is then repeated later on in the film by Mace Windu. The whole, he's too powerful. to be kept alive is one of the reasons to kill Duku here? Yes, and also what, yeah, Windu is saying to justify killing Palpatine in that office

battle later in the movie. But, yeah, we're trying to escape this crashing ship. You get so much I love all the ship going at angles. We got a lot of funny, like, Artu's screaming as he flies past the camera and everything. Using the setting in funny ways. Like, they're running up an elevator

shaft at one point. That's all really awesome. Speaking of running, did we noticed what Ian McDarmid's doing here at this Palpatine performance. Dude, this guy's running without shaking his, he's not, like, waving his arms. He's just, like, running. Like Raquel Welch in Seinfeld, yeah. That's Molly Shannon. Yeah.

Lord knows what that wardrobe is like. I mean, like, you bind your arms at the side so you can't, like, swing on. What's a, flowing robe? Yeah, totally. Come on, palp. Free, free and fancy free. Sheave it up. Um, so they get captured and brought to General

Grievous and everyone. everything and there's a great sarcastic battle droid line right here like grievous rips a lightset like the battle droid has i believe it's obiwan's lightsaber and grievous rips it out of his hand to take it and the battle droid just goes you're welcomed like the the bitchy battle droid stuff i don't know if it always works for me but it does a funny enough choice like this whole army of droids they're just going to be like sarcastic bitches every time they talk Because that's your workforce, so you have to, like, give them your, any kind of, like, worker-related stuff has to go to them. Right.

I mean, you know, droids do have emotions and they have character voices and stuff in Star Wars, but at the same time, it's like, I feel like you're in the battle droids. You should be programmed a little harder, a little differently, like maybe more like Commander Cody. Oh, okay, but this is commanding Cody. This is just your obsession with corporal punishment coming back, and I really just, I don't think that's necessarily. what Star Wars is about all the time. It should be. Look, we've been over this. This should be is not always what is.

But what is, is here is an awesome move. Grievous to escape the two Jedi Knights trying to murder him. Totally just blasts a hole in the windshield of this ship and gets sucked out. And it's a baller move because he's like, yeah, I'm like 99% robot. I can fly around in space and not need air. Just a little piece of glass, though, somehow slips in and gets right through his heart. It's like, oh, fuck. Fuck, that would be amazing.

I gambled and lost. They eject all the escape pods, cool move. This is awesome, and I love all this stuff of, like, Anakin trying to, like, pilot this crashing ship down onto the planet. It breaks in half, and, like, you know, Obi-Wan's got a great, like, well, now we're just piloting half a ship or something like that. It's really great. And this, the look of everything, the big ship crashing onto the ground, like, you know, this all, this all looks good. it's when you're animating specifically for me at least I found when you're

animating people to do cool Jedi moves that's where the jankiness really starts to show which is like you didn't you were able to do it in the original trilogy there Luke does do the force jump a few times and you make it work in a practical way and it won't look as

false if you do it that way you can't do it like 12 times is which they do exactly that's the thing is like excess has they need to do it this way now because they can't do it. Like, I'm with you 100% Eric, but if you're going to make movies like this,

the whole point of it is like, it is excessive. It's a big movie. Yeah, exactly. I think that sort of part of the problem with George Lucas is, you know, Star Wars was so groundbreaking and innovative that he's trying to do it again. Yeah.

All these years later with all this CGI. And it doesn't exactly, like you, he thinks it will be that groundbreaking, but I don't think it really pulls up. to wait four years and the same thing would have because who did that was James Cameron. Cameron

did that and even if you dislike the movie the stamp of that movie was there still enough that like the sequel fucking what a decade later still made money yeah but like serious I agree I agree with you I think Avatar is that groundbreaking moment for CGI

in the late off if you are willing to give CGI that like of course CGI is a bigger monster than a hero. Yeah, but one thing that we're not mentioning that was in the early aughts and like technically it started in the late 90s and has better CGI I think is the Matrix.

When they are flying around in that third chapter and it's Smith and Neo, that's a little janky. But as far as like practical stunts and shit that you're like trying to show like happen on camera but you're doing like a big thing. Like the scene is a big deal. Like Matrix had that stuff way.

That was a transitional. thing to me because it was still you were still trying to keep the human component both this movie and Avatar most of it needs to be CGI right like the world all of it has to be CGI. A lot of Matrix had guys on wires I know that

the third one maybe didn't in those in those certain scenes with Agent Smith or whatever but it's also like you're animating regular clothes on what is supposed to be regular looking people and I think largely a lot of the backgrounds weren't also the problem is when you run into an area where it's like

with these scenes with Commander Cody and these droids and Yoda and whatever it's like you have entirely you're you don't even have you're not filming anything anymore the sets are like a lot of Matrix sets are actual sets yeah like whereas like in like

a lot of these Star Wars movies a lot of the interiors are also and I'm sure Avatar had a lot more like actual sets and practicality to it then episode three you know right right right right right right I actually thought about the whole, like, it's one person in the sea of cartoon stuff

in the battle with Yoda and Palpatine in the Senate. And there's the one shot of, it's just Palpatine standing on his platform. And it's like, Yoda's there. And there's all this stuff falling around. And I was like, everything here is a cartoon except for Palpatine standing there.

And I started thinking about, like, what it must have been like to film that. And it's like, okay, now there's a thing to your left. All right. Now it's over on your right. all right. That'd be so fucking weird. You know, in the theater, we'd put some tape down.

Would you, would you like to do that? Yeah. So maybe I'll know where the, it's, oh, no, okay, then never mind. Okay, that's fine then. I do like, there is a consistent thing in this where it does seem like he is trying to get them to get, like, he wants it, like, the Ray Shield. Like, when we get to that part, like, it's like, oh, no, we've been captured. Oh, no.

What will we ever do? to get out of here they'll they'll likely take us oh no yeah he's a bad actor at hiding his evilness uh so yeah we we land everything's hunky dory um uh what's his face aniken's gonna go check in with the council and uh and so you're time to be the celebrity you were the hero or he's gonna go check in with like the senate whatever else i think he checks up with padmay as well right and we get this fucking kissy chamber they're in because this is where uh obiwan is like oh i don't do politics i'm going to go talk with you you say me you're the hero of the day

you go soak it all up you're with the politicians and she's in the shadows because they are still a secret couple right so here she is with her Leah buns and this is where she drops the by the way I'm totally pregnant

now it's even worse because you're not supposed to be fucking Jedi right oh and I thought yeah I thought we were going to talk about this have a couple years we were fucking and then you know no no no really Accidents happen, even in a galaxy far, far away.

You know what? Because I thought we could talk about them. You know what? No, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. She's also talking about like, can I go early to the lake house to set up the baby's room? I'm like, the lake house. Sure. They've got a house in the lake country of Nibu. Yes. But are you going to come around, you know, okay? Because like I do, I like sleeping with it. No, I'm just going to be a delay. Really? Okay. Okay. All right. And then we get Grievous returning to the planet where it's like droid factories going on or whatever

And then this is, he's talking to the emperor And it's like, the scenes are so close together That it must have been a thing where like Palpatine was booking ass to his office And like people were trying to talk to him And he's like, uh, I really have to go to the bathroom I was just rescued from this mission I really have to take a shit, I'll be right back And he's like got to run in put his fucking cloak on like, uh, yes, grievous, hello?

Secret hollow call I have to make. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And I put up the hood. I'm finishing in here, the bathroom's being used. You must get to the... It's being used right now. Occupato. My lord, it looks like you are broadcasting from a bathroom.

Is that right? Where is your office? No, no, this is a funny Zoom background. This is an evil bathroom I have made through my minnie. Oh, I wish I could have blurt out the background behind me, damn it. Let the diarrhea flow through you. They see a stronghold. I'll tell you that much.

But the only real detail here is the emperor is like, hey, grievous, by the way, I'm going to tell, I want you to tell all these dudes that are there, your trade federation buddies, they all got to go out and they got to go to Mustafa. No reason, but that's where we're going to finish things. Don't worry, my apprentice will be coming to relieve you. Yes, yeah. Go to the planet. That's all volcanoes.

Hang out there. Certainly not a beautiful place. You know what? If you want to go outside, take a breath of fresh air, you go right ahead. Walk as you please. And then, yeah, so it sort of like cuts back to this Padmei. It's actually a different Padmae and Anakin setting for the same conversation where they're talking more about the late country and whatever. And then this is the worst exchange.

You're beautiful, he says. She goes, it's because I'm in love. He goes, no, it's because I'm in love. love with you. That back and forth right there is like, Jesus Christ, it doesn't even need to be the movie. Don't rewrite it. Don't nothing. Just cut it out of the movie. No wonder, Gen Z doesn't know how to date.

This is their reference. Well, that's, like, it's all like romance novel horse shit. Like, it's the most basic stuff. Like, anybody else would tell you it's more romantic. Like, if you were watching, like, they make dinner together, like an intimate activity

or something like that. Might do it. But, like, then you would, everybody would be like, oh, that's stupid. You're making pasta in Star Wars. Are you fucking serious? But you do, if you want what you're talking about here, if you want them to be romantic, you do have to have intimacy. I'm sorry, like it has to happen.

You have to show regular life in some regard, sure. There is a moment in Phantom Menace where Quagun Gin and everyone's at the dinner table and it looks like a sitcom or something. So I see trying to avoid that. But at the same time, you do need to show the actual texture of the, Because otherwise, it is just like, oh, man, you're like putting moisture on. You're beautiful. And I love you and I love the love we have.

I mean, that's an interesting point, right, that you're making, which is, like, we don't know how they just live outside of, like, talking politics and war, right? And that's what I think, you know, to the benefit I feel, and not everyone agrees with me on this, but, like, that's why I think it's interesting in those moments on all these TV shows where you see boring life. And or, you know, you see our little nasty-ass fucking imperial couple living in their apartment and like that dude's mother sucks shit, Cyril, you know, there's that going on. Or like in skeleton crew, when you just see like it's literally an Amblin-esque suburban neighborhood on the planet, you know, that stuff kind of fascination. In Mandalorian, when you got Katie O'Brien as like that evil imperial officer with that scientist guy, Dr. Pershing, I want to say.

Oh, yes. And it's just like, you know, here's just sort of average day stuff. Here's a popsicle. Here, we're reminiscing about the food biscuits of the empire. Right. These regular, regular things you just avoid for story reasons. You want to advance the story. And I get that.

But if you just refigured attack of the clones, you could have added a lot more of that texture. And all story has its fucking downfalls as well. It feels like a trap. It feels like nothing breeds. It just feels like it. It's just running. We're like running to the conclusion at the start of this movie There is no math equation to this

Like you do have to feel your way through it a little bit You can't just be like well if I just did this and this An exact amount of these scenes An exact amount of these scenes it would work Not really like you have to feel your way through it a little bit And I know some people like don't like the sequel trilogy But like at least they had those those horny force phone calls with each other Oh yeah right that like I buy that romance more than this romance

Even though that romance didn't really They're doing some chatter bait stuff Yeah, exactly, yeah. That'll do. Kylo Ren get out those tokens, bro. You're going to be tipping all night. But so we have a sort of more extension of the domicist. I do like their, we get to see their, you know, apartment and everything here, which is a very nice pad.

Anakin wakes up from having a nightmare. This is the first time where he's like, he's out on the balcony. She wakes up. Natalie's got a good hairdo here of like, I am awake and I don't want to be. I felt like the makeup and hair on. her is really perfect in this scene and she's like you know hey what's up and he's like uh so yeah i just had this uh vision he thinks of the future you die in childbirth just right out there on the table he just lets this all out let's call what it is he just had a nightmare he'd a scary dream and that

makes me think is like could someone potentially freddie kruger anakin is that a thing that could exist in this world oh hello i see you've fallen asleep but they would have to develop a a sith lord with that particular ability. Right, the dream lord. You would have to get the Sits in a lab getting that, what bloodlines are going to caught, like what dream lords do you have? You know, we never saw what Snoke's deal was.

Maybe he's already in like a little, like, pajama outfit. Yeah. Maybe he could be a dream guy. Welcome to prime time, bitch. Yes, exactly. Yeah. No, I would love to see more sis stuff,

but like the problem with Siss is like now they feel like they have to just make them all badass. Yeah. Like, there's, that you can't have like nice simmering evil like I thought how Snoke was. I did like Snoke. I do. I really like him. And then

it's another thing that like you got all those cartoons fixing the prequels. Why don't you fix the sequels with cartoons or regular TV shows? Where's that Knights of Run show? I want a Knights of Rent show. Tell me what these guys were. That's in an alternate dimension dude. That's where that show is. They're being much more

picky with that since the last couple have not been as big a hits as and or. Right. Right. Yeah. So, you know, he basically just ends this conversation with, he's like, look, well, she says, you know, the Jedi Council is going to expel him for knocking her up, and also that the queen is going to make Padmay leave the Senate for, you know, having a child out of, I guess it's not out of wedlock. They are secretly married. So I don't know what the big deal is there. I guess like, pregnant women can't work in politics in Star Wars, I guess is the notion. I don't, you know. Sure. But she's like, the queen's going to kick me out of the Senate. And I was like, but why? I guess for fucking a Jedi I mean is that big of a deal

I guess it is A scandal That's the thing is a smart thing that George didn't really lock on to Is what the media environment is Oh what if what if the tabloid rags We're reporting about the sex scandal It's on over the place I mean that's gonna

That is gonna piss so many high top elites off That's the absolute one that I don't want though As far as like low key ways of life in Star Wars. I don't need a show of Star Wars that's like the fifth season of the wire that's all about how the newspaper operates. No, no, no, no. I don't need Star Wars journalism.

I got enough fucking shitty journalism in the real world. I don't think it's going to happen, but like, yeah. Otherwise you don't know exactly what's going on on the base level, so it's kind of like, well, whatever, they care, I guess. Although unless it's like a Zodiac kind of thing where it's like you're working

at the Correscent Chronicle and there's like a dark Jedi somewhere, a Sith somewhere calling in pranking like, yeah, I killed those people, yeah. Actually, you know what? Now you want it. I take it back. That's cool. That's all about how you do. Or how about Spotlight, where it's the...

I don't want that. I get hand up over here. I don't want that. What? What you're going to think the Jedi just boy naping across the universe? I'll tell you this, man. If I have to fucking deal with one of these where it's like, the Sith's were actually doing

pedo stuff. Oh, shit. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I think the Jedi Council was doing that. I mean, I don't know. This Quigon, he took a song. I mean, if the spotlight thing were going to happen, you would think of it was. That's like direct to Fox Nation.

No, thank you. There's evil on both sides. They both went to Darth Epstein. They both did the peddust. They did, yes. So Anakin goes, he's got to have a little therapy with Yoda the next day's telling them about the visions. And Yoda's like, hey, man, chill out, fear of loss, of loss, rather, a path to the dark side.

And, you know, Anakin's... Shadow of greed. Yeah, like that. Yeah, it's like if you're attached to something that's actually in the shadow of greed, bad news shit. I'm boredish to you should become, actually. And he's like, you know, I vow to not let this future vision happen or whatever. And he's like, you know, it's actually, it's really cool because you get like a little

bit of like the philosophy on death here. And Yoda's like, you shouldn't be sad when someone moves in and becomes part of the force. It's just like, it should be. celebrated it's the next adventure that we all have and i was like george does have some really like grounded interesting ideas about death and how and how we should like react and how when like alderan exploded and a billion people died you should be happy for them they moved on to the forest it's cool in fiery death screaming death i mean you can be bummed that that happened like

you know what i mean but you know train yourself yeah train yourself to let go of everything that you fear you will lose. Right. So then he goes and he meets with Palpatine. A lot of Anakin having meetings. A lot of lamps, too. I know we mentioned this on the commentary track we did all those years ago, but I couldn't help but noticing all these nightstand lamps, these other lamps, all these lighting options.

Right, right, right. So he's like, oh, you know, I need your help son. You know, he needs him to be, he says the eyes, ears and voice of the, he's going to be the eyes, ears, and voice of the republic. Palpatine appoints him to be his representative, his Jedi representative in the Senate, which means that he thinks anyway, it means that the council will have to promote Anakin

to a Jedi master. Right, yes. But these, these sneaky, these slippery Jedi. Oh, they slippery Jedi. They know what's going on, Chris Gavin. Mason Windows immediately like, fuck this shit. He's not a judge. Well, then you've got to kick him off.

It's supposed to be separate branches of government. Like the Jedi Council, it's supposed, It's like the judiciary. But they are using him in that role as well. Yeah, so it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I do. Um, I do, are we, the conehead guy, uh, Kai Adi Mundi. Yes. Uh, previous gloop glossary, I believe. Zoom, is zooming in from home in this scene. Oh, absolutely, dude. I love this. Like, here's George 20 years ago. He knew it, he knew it, dude. And you know what? They have these Jedi meetings. You get like, I mean, conehead guy, obviously, because he's a classic character, Kai Adi.

any movie, but then you got like a bunch of other ugly fuckers on this Jedi Council that are also zooming in and I'm like, see, look at this, they're having the meeting, they're getting work done. Exactly. It's not killing productivity. Under their breath, as they're turning it off, could have been an email. Yeah, exactly. You could just take you a little green

claws and type that up for me, Yoda. That's the thing is we never really got into how much real estate really undergirds everything in the Star Wars universe. I love a Mace Windu right here. Oh, this is great. He's like, take a seat, young SkyWard. That line of take a seat is so good

because, you know, Anakin's going, outrageous, unfair. It's like, you're yelling unfair to work meaning. Dude, right? He's still standing in, like, the middle of the room at that point. I was like, you look like such a fucking little child right now, dude. Sit down. Take the advice of Mace Window.

Nobody's doing this. Go to the wookies, I must. Goodbye. Yeah, totally. It's just like, uh, do deal with this. I got to get out of here, I must. And what of the wookies? That's what Conan says.

Yeah. What that's, I mean, Yoda is off to fucking do it. Well, I know the wookies. I'm very close with them. I went to college with Chewbacca, I did. And that's another thing. It's just like you watch that original trilogy, and the world feels so open and wild and crazy. You know, like, there's the fucking hairy dog guy.

There's the little green guy. Oh, yeah. And then now you watch this? It's like, did you know that they actually knew they were good friends? They were war buddies. Yep. They were war buddies. In another movie, I mean, this like battle at Kashik right here, I mean, when it happens, not right here, but like when it happens, it would be so much like a part of the movie that you'd be like, oh, and then the big Kashik sequence.

And I guess I just misremembered it, but I remembered it being like way longer and more involved and like if you stitch all of it together, total screen time like four minutes. Yeah, but I think stuff ends up feeling longer in this movie because we do this thing and I know they've done this in other Star Wars movies, but I think we do it on over. kill here where it's like I'm in a scene I'm in a battle cut to a different scene cut to a different battle cut back to that battle yeah cut back to a different scene cut back to the other battle we were seeing cut back to it it's just dividing it so many times like if we had that confrontation with Obi-1 and Vader in a new hope when they're fighting what if we just cut away for fucking 30 minutes right yeah it really deflates it in my opinion I like this kashik battle that happens way later than where we are in the movie but I'm a but I'm a

I know that. No, but like, dude, can you imagine it's like, oh, yeah, it's like a, it's like a 10-minute sequence and like the wookies are fucking going crazy, they're killing all these droids and stormtroopers or whatever, and I'm like, yeah. Clone troopers. Oh, clone troopers, excuse me. And that's the thing is like, that's why it just

those sequences, those battle sequence just don't work for me is because the clone trooper is fake, the beach is fake, the droid is fake. Yes, they are. And then you watch something like Andor where it's like you can contextualize what this is, because it's grounded because I know light hitting real objects is a thing we say

and people get mad when we say but it is actually true because they're you know they've got uh IBS okay that's not good but yeah so whatever so Obi-Wan's like you know the council wants you to fucking report on Chancellor Palpatine's dealings here we think this guy's a bit of a scumbag so you gotta tell us if he starts

doing scumbag shit or whatever and Anakin kind of kicks back at that and then my god like the echoes 20 years years into the past fucking punching me in the face yesterday watching this Obi-1 goes Our allegiance is to the Senate

and not the chancellor It's the government and not the one guy And I was like I wish there were some people out there Who would re-watch this movie immediately And not watch it wrong Watch it correctly

Now you're asking Listen to what you and McGregor is saying Right dear God damn it Yes yes And it's a great line here. Anakin goes, why are you asking this of me? And Obi-Wan just goes,

the council is asking this of you. So it's like, hey, man, you want to be a part of this thing. You've got to fucking do what we say. You're still just a junior. Got me thinking about the Senate, this watch is the fact that later in the film,

when bail organa is being called, oh, there's going to be a special session of Congress. They say special session of Congress. Yes. Instead of Senate. So I'm just like, does that imply that there's a House of Representatives as well? Is there a Marjorie Taylor,

or Gleap or something. There probably is. I love this running into the opera house. This all looks really nice. I like wherever this was. They shot this part of this interior of the staircase and stuff. I like going to like an opera that's like, yeah, we're kind of just like watching this like floating ball of water.

Which is cool. With something in it. They sell some hallucinogens at the concession stand and you just lay back and melt into the performance. I could see this. this thing in the Fifth Element world as well. Oh, yes, very much. That's totally right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they have it, I mean,

they did smart, like just a weird, like, electronica opera thing. Yeah. With just costume and makeup. Yeah, that was nice. Yeah, I love that. I love that. So, you know, Palpatine here tells Anakin, like, oh, you know, we discovered that Grievous is in the Utapa

system or whatever. And then it's like, hey, everyone who got these cool box seats with me. Get the fuck out. Me and my little boyfriend. They're going to talk for a while here. And this is where we get, you know, Palpatine really starts digging his claws in. We get

the story of Darth Taranus. And he was Plagueis. Oh, Plagueis, excuse me. The Wise. The Wise. Plegis the Wise. And it's like, this dude had powers on like any fucking Sith Lord out there including, wouldn't you know it? The power to bring people back from the dead. Well, keep their loved ones from dying.

Sure. And the whole like, but then he lost his powers question mark question mark but he taught his apprentice all he knew okay but the apprentice killed him in his sleep ironic he could save others but not himself and then Anakin's like oh

there's a possible to learn these powers I love that but who was who was his protech who was who was the guy who killed him who was the guy yeah good question why won't you tell me what could you tell your joke is implying that it's Palpatine but does the

movie actually like confirm that does not. I don't, I forget. I was, because Chris, I was wondering the exact same thing watching the scene. I forget if it was further back or not, but, you know, again, this is like... Whenever this dude existed. This is like Clone Wars era stuff when I kind of stopped reading

comics and books, and so my knowledge is murky at best on this, although they were floating him for an acolyte, apparently, right? He was going to be the guy poking out of the cave. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, really? Right, right, right. So that would be cool, too,

We could have expand this and figured out more about this backstory, but that got canceled because it had girls in it. Oh, God. Yeah, I forgot. I forgot all about that. Yeah, God damn it. Speaking of girls on how they always get a little nutty is there's a quick scene before actually the opera where Anna can talks to Padmae. And, you know, she's like, oh, you have to tell them to stop the fighting.

And he's like, you're sounding like a separatist. Oh, right. Yeah. It's a real fucking mega Thanksgiving idea. Jedi. You sound like those filthy Jedi's. Oh, man, yeah, you're totally right. Can't we just talk about fucking space operas and space football?

Why do we got to bring the Jedi into it? God damn it. The game's on. Why do you want me to talk to my boss? Why are you asking me to do that? Palpatine has a great line that ends the opera conversation, though, because, yeah, Anakin is like, is it possible to learn that stuff? And fucking Palpatine looks right through this kid's soul,

and he just goes, you can't learn that from a Jedi. And you're like, bump, bump, bump. I remember, I'm just the emperor, and I'm no way, am I Darth Sidious. It's, I love that. It's the Clark Kent Superman of it at all. It really is. And once Grievous is dead, and we've, the war is over. Of course, I will relinquish all of my control.

I mean, that's what Padmey wants him to do is, like, hey, can you convince him to not do this? Yeah, like, once Grievous is out, and he's got to step down because the war will be over, right? He's just doing this. He's enacted wartime powers, right? Is everybody paying attention? It's only a little, just this one guy. We get, we get, uh, Yoda arriving on Kashik.

Here indeed is Chewbacca and other wookie who greet him. Uh, we get a facetiming in the Jedi Council here. Uh, and then this is where Anakin's like, Hey, um, the chancellor told me where grievous is or whatever. And then he's like, I should go get him. And everybody's like, you kid, Obi-Wan's going to go do this. We need a big boy to go.

I know it's also like, he also introduces it. Like, he already knows that they don't like the chancellor. And he's like, well, the chancellor thinks I should go. You're just saying, I shouldn't go then. You know, like, dude, fake the funk a little like. But then he's, but he's asking them to trust him. That's true, I guess, because he also in the Jedi way. He can't really just lie.

Right, right. Yeah. So we get the Kashik battle here a little bit. And I got to tell you, you know what's a dumb thing to insert here, speaking of like sounds that were inserted here and there. The wookie's doing a Tarzan yelled. There's a straight-up- Oh, there is a first-

Which I will argue why that fits in Star Wars is because, you know, everything's inspired by the cereals. Yeah. Back in the day, and Tarzan was a big one. So I could see adding a Tarzan element. I don't know if you should give it to a wookie. Well, that's, if you want it where it's like a wookie swinging on a thing and they're like, br-oh.

And you can be like, cool, a neat little tarzan. riff. This is like someone took from a canned audio file somewhere act like Tarzaniel dot MP3 and put it here. It's like the original like radio play. Yeah, no, it sounds like such a legit Johnny, whatever that guy's name was that played Tarzan a bunch of

times, like feels like that dude's audio in Star Wars. That's how you explain away New Gunnwrights. It's like it's a classical thing to have there. We're just trying to create a new Wilhelm screen, which I think the Wilhelm scream does work when it is I don't even remember if it's in this, maybe not.

I think it is. Somebody gets crushed by something, I think. That's a great scream. So, you know, we're, George, for better or worse, is swinging for it. Well, you know what? Go up against the best, you best not miss. There's a great shot that ends the sequence where Yoda's just like standing on a platform

watching the battle and a laser blast like almost hits him and it's like, shit, holy. Because he's, what the fuck that was? and like they don't have Yoda say anything he just looks like inconvenienced by a laser blast basically so Obi-Wan goes

he leaves to go find grievous or whatever we get some Tim Morrison clones here he's talking to these fellas or whatever that's the thing you know what you have the leader of your crew and his name is Cody that should fucking tell you right there don't trust him right

can't trust a fucker named Cody you just can't do that you just can't no that guy That gets into trouble. Every time that gets you into trouble. Also, like, this is another thing. It's like, yeah, no, I'm fine. You want to do Tim Morrison?

Absolutely. Motherfucker, put on a suit of armor. I'm sorry, but like. There's a lot of armor, Eric. There, it's just, it's not, he's not wearing it. They photo his face and they stitched it on. They do that with a, they do that a few times, but that we do see the armor. It drives me nuts.

I know, but like, you know, like, God, I forget what it was. Maybe it was Mando, something else. You see an old clone. trooper that is Tam Morrison now with long hair like just like begging or something and it looks great and it looks fucking good when you actually

do it when you have the computer do it and have computer do everything that just does not look that good when you're doing a composite shot and it's the two actors I mean much like you and McGregor in that Fargo season right like there's two of him right I actually did not see that we've had

a lot of like twos where Michael B. Jordan recently in sinners and there's ways to do it where it's not the second one is just a complete computer you know the like the plot is kind of rushing along in this and i feel like him trying to make the technology work is also just rushing along we have to make this 2005 release date uh that was crazy too like in the i remember like phantom menace coming out and then hearing like oh my god the last one's not going to come out until 2005 was like i'm going to be in college by then right yeah that was like woo wow You're in college.

It feels like forever, you know? I don't know. I guess what I'm also trying to say is, like, it was nice spacing out Star Wars a few years apart from things. Yeah. Well, now if you don't count the TV shows, I mean, we've been spacing out the movies pretty good so far. That's what happens when you drop a nuclear bomb.

Yeah, exactly. You take a nice long break from putting out movies. Can't grow nothing there. So, Obi-1 reaches grievous's hideout. I really like this moment when this, like, tall, gray dude comes out with, like, Bruce Spence. Was that Bruce Spence? Oh, shit. Oh, wow, I didn't even recognize. The great Bruce Spence. The voice. Wow. I love this interaction. I love the look of this character. I love the curtsy he does to Obi-Won.

And he's like, oh, hey, what's going on? And Obi-Wan's like, yes, I need to get some gas. I'm looking for General Grievous. I know he's somewhere in this system. No more here, unless you brought it with you. Oh, yeah. By the way, they're here. They're watching us. Tenth level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thousands of battle toys, okay. It's so awesome. That's great. Could you get me my bird salamander I needed to make my way through? I hate this lizard horse. The reason I like the idea of it of having another like gleepcloth biological element. I don't think it looks particularly good. But I hate the sound of it. I hate the noise it makes. Really? Oh yeah. It's a bird squawking kind of thing. At least with a taunton it's like mur.

Right. See, that sounds like a creature. that shits, like an actual living and breathing creature that shits. Oh, this fucking thing shits. Are you kidding me? Come on now, Eric. Well, it's definitely shitting itself when it falls off the cliff into the water. Oh, into his death. Very clearly. Were they shooting at me? Or do they hate these lizard horses? Well, because that's what this is, right? This is like a prequel's version of a taunton. And like, part of the charm of a taunton was like, it was just clearly a shitty puppet. And like, there's no charm to this little guy. Well, because it's a computer program. And he's squeaking and squooking and

And it's got to be an organic being because they're all, it's machines on machines, right? Right. Oh, we get a little bit of Newt Gunray right here and he's like, yeah, I don't know that I trust General Grieva's to protect us on Mustafa. Maybe we shouldn't go there. Yeah, I don't think so. Maybe this will lead to our inevitable murder. Well, he's got him there like he's going to like sell them a condo that they had like a timeshare. Yep, they're all in the condo

time share meeting. And it's also like Newt Gunray mentions like, I don't know. without Duku that you guys keep us safe because it's like the guy that had force magic is gone and now like the set number two this like fake robot guy is like emphysema riddled robot is supposed

to protect us yeah getting the shuttle honey and it's just like I don't feel I don't feel so safe with getting the shuttle honey although I would all of my if I was still there when it happened all of my when I saw this fucker fight Obi-Wan I'd be like

you know what pretty good yeah pretty good i you know what i yeah he could be my representative that guy the guy with the four fucking lightsabers yeah yeah yeah but he he doesn't win he doesn't but it's against obi won canobi connobe come on well that's who's coming after yeah it's the legend i mean like yeah like we you know they've got thousands of these motherfuckers i'd be shitting bricks if i was new gunwrecked uh so obi one jumps down this is hello there uh which is awesome I love that line is an incredible moment. And it's really great. We get some Obi-1 using some force magic here.

This is a great. He pulls down like this HVAC unit of these guys. It's so awesome. Crushed by a huge Star Wars air conditioner. That's why you'd get really pissed off, right? We need that. These droids are going to overheat. We've got the main frames rendering them as we speak.

So this is the big grievous Kenobi fight. I have been trained in your Jedi arts by counter. Duku, which is great. I want to watch that, by the way. Yeah, totally. No, no. No, not like that, not like that. No.

Not like that. No. I keep telling you, you're mostly robot and thus not force sensitive. We're just basically training with a lightsaber. That's the best I can do for you. I need something to, your heart. I see too much of your heart. Could you please put a mask on?

I'm a very old man in your coughing everywhere. No, I'm leading the dance right now. Watch, watch my feet. Watch my feet. I'm going to train you using one lightsaber at first, not just skipping right to four. That's ridiculous. Do I have four arms?

No, I do not. So I cannot do that right off the boot. I keep telling you, my handle is bent because I'm old and arthritic. You're a robot and doesn't matter for you. One net to time. But yeah, he does do the forearm Spider-Man looking thing. And yes, it is cool. Jedi slime.

I like that. Oh, right, he calls him Jedi slime. Hell yeah. Which would be a cool. the lightsaber thing i like that yes that is cool i jenai slime would be a great name for one of these guys oh yeah jem jenai slime it's like the mucinex guy yeah i'm a jenni that coughs too it's me mr mucinx jenni slime i'm loving you can see a commercial where that there's a star war's tie in and that little guy's wearing a fucking black pith helmet or something like

an ex monster, yeah. But yeah, we're just one at a time he's cutting off hands on this guy in the fight, which is great. The clone troopers arrive right here and they start fighting the battle droids and it really takes off. Revis has a line like, Army or not,

you have to know you're doomed. Oh, I don't think so. Throws him, like force throws him all the way down this like these levels, but don't worry, he just spider walks and gets into what I'm calling a circle car. Yeah. It's just like a big wheel, but it's a car.

What is this? Is this like an old timey bicycle? Oh, you don't like the old timey stowa's bikes, eh? Yeah, whatever this roller thing is, you know what it is? This is a straight up, this is a shitty toy you would buy. And it would like never really work right. It'd always fall over. Buy the new General Grievous Circle car.

I'm just like, why would you drive on something? Like one big wheel. Fly, just fly. So you have a little speeder. Isn't it more idea to just have one big tire and that's all you got to fucking do? It's kind of like when Millhouse's mom starts dating the American Gladiator and he's like, come on, Lulu, let's roll. And they get the big fucking iron hamster ball and just go down the street.

I guess the technology idea there, Chris, it's like, you know, you can't, it's like when they're like, why don't you build the whole plane out of the black box? Yes. Well, if it's all just a giant tire, you can't get a, you know, you can't get a flat. It's all tires. The last fucking thing you have me built for you had 24 tires on it. why don't we simplify and wake one big tire and you go what this guy's half robot i bet you i could get a fucking charging cable in there too so he can charge while he's on the fucking tire oh nice and

bluetooth technology you can play some of his james beautiful he can put on his littered skinned i know he loves it there's a there's a great moment here uh it gets a little kind of godfathery almost because there's a there's a tem clone that comes out and is like hey the the battle with general grievous has begun and Mace Windu orders Anakin to let Palpatine know that that has happened and he's like and when you tell him make sure you observe the look on his face

you want to see how he reacts when you tell him that this battle has started up and if he's whoever comes to you and makes the suggestion for the meeting that's the guy who's the traitor Abe Vagoda. Ooh, Aid Vagoda in Star Wars actually now we're talking. I would love

that. That would have been great at that. Oh, Darfagota will leave you? of your command. What are we doing here? What are we doing here? What are we doing? Look at these robot clones. Why don't you have the fancy cookies, you know?

The Italians, they always had the fancy cookies out that you could have and snack on it. He will be your fry cook here at the Sith Burger. Oh, my God, Sith Burger. Some of it had just sprinklers on top of them and they were very tasty. Keenan and Kell are Star Wars names. They kind of are. Jedi Kell, absolutely. I would like to watch that now.

Jedi Master Keenan. Yeah. You know what? I watched Good Burger 2. I'd watch Good Burger Star Wars. Oh, man. You took the one. I took the plunge, man.

I couldn't help it. How was it? Not good. It's also like just the same. It's the worst of these kinds of things. It's the same plot of the first movie, but with different stuff. Sure. It's just another.

It sounds like Star Wars. Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's a, it's another big burger chains trying to put them out of business again or whatever. Sure. It wasn't without a few polite laugh. here and there, but overall a thing that doesn't really need to exist. So, yeah, we're gonna, see what

Palpatine's reaction here or whatever. Mace Windy, this is where he's like, you know what, I kind of'm starting to sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. Didn't want to say anything before until I had a stronger feeling, but I think that guy hates us. Not good. Isn't he, doesn't he get off on another, isn't he like on a

lifter car at some point? They're commuting somewhere. There's a lot of conversations during commutes in this movie. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember where they're going but yes this is in some sort of cruiser I think they're all strap hangers you know headed to the office just going to work Yoda not

thrilled about this deceptive course of action or whatever and then we get Palpatine you know nurturing Anakin's complaints here against the Jedi Council he's like Anakin saying stuff like oh I know there's things about the force that they're not telling me and Palpatine's just like well it's because they don't fucking trust you kid

I don't know what to tell you and as a truth so has you know it's that's easy for him to boost up. Yeah, and he's like, you know, so this is where he starts letting it slip out a little bit right here. I think this is Anakin and Palpatine are in Palpatine's office, and he's like, let me help you to know the subtleties of the force. And then this is where he's like, because I kind of know out about the dark side. And Anakin's like, wait, what the fuck did you just say? Wait, you're a Sith Lord? Yeah, he pulls the lightsaber on him at first. Yeah, you're a Sith Lord.

and they have McDarmid does this great job of not having Palpatine like flinch at all that like this Jedi's pulled a lightsaber on him like no nervousness in this dude whatsoever um but yeah and he's like oh yes you definitely should turn me in do it yes nothing I'd hate more than to be caught by your Jedi friends that I'd be in jail your wife would be dead well you know come on And then this is what we're talking about. Because, like, we have those kind of quiet scenes. And then we got to cut back and remember that Obi-Wan is chasing General Grevis around in the fucking circle car.

Yeah, I mean, I guess because it's like, see, all this is happening at the same time. But it just, I'm like, oh, right. Oh, right, the fucking circle car. I forgot about it. Because you have to, like, get your excitement back up. You just had this very quiet, like, political moment. And then right after that, it was like, this, you know, sort of big, like, he admits that he's a Sith Lord kind of a deal.

And you're like, okay, cool. and then you just have to like go right back into this battle it's like total it's total whiplash here because that's not exciting it's not excited just keep on a hamburger you want the next why can't i get a fucking why isn't there a bowl of chili here next right why am i my next why is my next bite candy why can't we finish a scene no absolutely fucking not because guess what that scene could be a movie now we could stretch that scene over 40 minutes we could make a fucking tv show out of that scene how about that shit uh love i mean the end of this grievous fight I thought has always been awesome.

Like, Anakin electrocutes this dude with his own, like, Zapper's staff that he's been fighting. Yeah, he's hitting this robot with a stick, like it's just trying to get through Philadelphia. Well, that little robot trying to get through Philadelphia got beaten up. That blaster fucking... Wait a second. What are he talking about? There's a hitchhite. There's a little hitchhiking robot a few years ago

that was traveling the country. Yes. Someone beat it up in Philadelphia. It got to Philadelphia and the Philadelphia took it apart. Took it apart by the hinges. Dude, that is like fucking Mad Max country. down there, dude, I don't know what's going on. A robot can't even patrol the street safely anymore. I don't know. They have the heart

of the angels there. Taking apart a little robot, good for them. Actually, yeah, that's true. You know what? I take that all back. They did the right thing. They saved humanity another 10 years. They're very smart people there. Fuck AI. Fuck robots. But then Kenobi just uses the force to rip this dude's chest cavity open

and just squeeze this guy's heart and kills him. Isn't it the blaster? Oh, he shoots it. That's right. It's a blasted. And it turns out of fire. And I'm like, is his blood fire or was his diesel line next to that heart or something? Yeah, like what happened there that he just lights up like that? Yeah, maybe it's like

the, maybe he pisses like our 2D tune, he's got to like fire, you know, probably the most of the mechanism would have to be around the organ, so like you hit that and that explodes, then yeah, I feel that makes sense. And it goes right through his eyes too. That's an awesome move. I mean, there's a couple of them. Very Indiana Jones when like the fire

shoots out of its eye sockets, which is pretty sweet. And then he drops dead and you've got the Anakin, most uncivilized. Oh yeah, because he used a gun. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. I used a blast how I feel so dirty. Um, and then yeah, so this is, I think Chancellor

Palpatine is a Sith lord. Anakin's blabbing about this to Mace Windu. And it's just like, Mace Windo is just like, well, you seem fucked in the head, but you can keep your job. Well, but he's, no, he's better than that. Like, he's more of like, look, this is the first time I've like, this is the first thing that you've done

that makes me trust you. I'm going to go check on this. Yeah, he's like, stay here at the Jedi Council office and, you know, this is this will make me trust you if it's true. Clearly he's compromised, but whatever. Yeah, so Mace Window goes down to arrests. Yes, and this is where we get Palpatine and Anakin's

head. They fucking, Kit Fisto gets fucking done with so quickly in this year. Oh, yeah. Oh, you do his name. Yes, I, that one I know. Yeah. I know Kit Fisto. He's the guy with the green talent on his head. Yeah. There are like three Jedi here that just gets slashed and

instantly fall down and that's that. Yeah. You got a great Palpatine line here. I am the Senate. Yeah, yeah, of course it was. Which is nice and that. I owned the police. Yeah, totally. Totally. See, Mace, this is where you should be putting your body cam on because you need to get this shit

the fucking, your boy needs to see this. Your friend over there needs to see this. So he says it's a great Palpatine. So it's treason then and he pulls out the lightsaber and we got the fight. He just, yeah, Kit Fisto and other guy, immediately murdered.

I'm like, how the fuck do you even have Jedi status? Like, you got killed that fast? Like, when he does the execute Order 66, I'm like, how did none of you see any of this coming? How? You all are taken out. It's like, fucking, it's easier than in Goodfellas. Dude, by the way, the fact that when we're going to,

we're not there yet, but when we get to Order 66, there's an hour of the movie left. I'm like, that should have been more towards the back end, I feel. I liked it a lot. I wanted to see it towards. the end of the movie. Yeah. But then you have to deal with all the bullshit with them and like the looping it around to Vader. It's

it's too much. You're asking too much. I am asking too much. I'm a Star Wars fight. I know. I know that's that's the way. But I've always thought that this fight is cool. I love Mace Windew breaks the window with his lightsaber and that's all fucking sweet. I love that it almost feels accidental like oh shit the fight I broke the window. Oh, sorry about that. Hang on. Hang on. Let's restart. Let's restart. And you can tell that if fucking if you you had promised, I can fuck it, I can beat death.

If Mace Windu had it in his back pocket, like, I can teach you, whatever these stupid dreams you're having, like, I don't know if you're having chili at night or something. I don't know what's happening here. But whatever you did, that's making you dream that your fucking wife's going to take, like, if he had in his back pocket that, yeah, maybe I could,

maybe I could fucking make her live. I think he would have gone with him. Oh, you think, Anakin would have stayed on the light side if Mase Windu lied about bringing you just like, you know what? Yeah, I could do that, sure. No, yeah, no, I could do that. But what's interesting, though, is, like, it's, as far as I understand it, like, it's all donkey shit, because at the end of the movie, he's like, he's like, oh, yes, so the whole thing about bringing people back from the dead will, I don't know how to do it, but you and I can do some fun research and we'll figure it out together.

And at that point, you've already given it all up, man, you're already defeated. So, like, yeah, but, like, if you would, maybe if you had just said in that one, like, no, yeah, I can maybe get her back. I can maybe get her back. I think maybe he would have gone the other way. Maybe not me, but it definitely sounds like some Yoda shit you can do. Let me talk to Yoda about it, but I think we could do it. Just please let me kill this motherfucker right here, please. He's due dangerous to be kept alive is one of the lines here again.

And then, of course, it triggers him. He's like, okay, no, you can fucking kill him. Right. Go right. Palpatine's got a great line here. I told you, the Jedi have taken over. The Jedi have taken over. Don't let him kill me.

Him like pretending to be scared in this moment. I'm so scared. The force lightning happens and it reflects back on him a bit and makes him older. So it's just, he's a young guy that just looks old. And then it gives him like these butt ridges. It looks like his asses, he's got like five asses on his forehead. Yeah, there's a lot of cracks up there. Perforated.

It's too much. It's too much. Where's the hood now, I guess? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I want to look at that all day. If you are electrocuted for what feels like at least two minutes, like I think that's the lace. I mean, otherwise you're coming out like a cartoon.

You got the black soot all over you and you're like cooking still. That'd be cool. Like little spurties were going around his head and some stars. Every time the emperor comes around like, somebody barbecuing? I smell the charcoal. Oh, no, it's just the emperor. That's what that shit is. Oh, he still, he still smokes, huh?

He's still doing it. Oh, man. So Windu is going to lay the death blow here. It's not the Jedi way. Yeah, Anakin's like he's got to stand trial. And in this moment, Anakin is thinking, like, if this dude dies, my chance to save Padma is out the window.

So as Windu is going to lay the death blow, Anakin cuts his arm off and Palpatine yells unlimited power. And force lights a little fucking baby. You baby. God damn it. Cut to the local news that night. Yeah, a Jedi master fell through 13. lanes of space traffic today like this would make the fucking news. Oh, absolutely. Oh, are you kidding

me? It's all over the play. I think the Jedi are pretty well known. Mace Window is one of their big guys. Absolutely. He went to the, he probably went to their version of the Met Gala every year. 100%. Oh, he's got all, man, he has got the worst dress. You know, he's doing like, it's like a box that he like comes out of. Oh, sure. And shit like that. I'm like, no,

just fucking have a suit on. Yeah, he took, whatever the theme is he takes it a little too literally goes a little too over hey man come on like this is a one night event that's a little much just be able to walk how about that like you don't need people to help you walk how about that and then

this is you know Anakin and I think at least Christensen telegraphs what he's supposed to hear which is like I hate that I had to do this but I'm doing it because I love this girl what have I done because he's like I'll do whatever you ask master and that's one of the first

that I all like this is like what I really like about this movie and why I think I keep it is because the weak he does so openly play the weakness and the defeat yes yeah he does it really well there's no bullshitting about it it's like no this guy was weak and he was taken advantage of completely it's kind of the stuff that Christensen is the best with as an actor because that's all of shattered glass is

him being a fucking weak coward 100% man that movie he's good man he's a good I like that's the thing I think he's a good actor I think he was asked to do too much in these movies and therefore everybody's gonna hate him right yes I mean I think

he does parts of it very well in Obi-Wan the show I thought he did very good coming back much better yeah yeah yeah but yeah so this like okay now you're you're gonna be my apprentice and whatever this is where he lets slip that he actually

doesn't know how to do the whole bring them back from the death thing oh whoops it dude Yeah, but we work together. We can discover it. I'd be like, fuck you, dude, are you kidding me? You know what, Plagis, I misspoke there. Plagis, the Wives, he was always able to keep their bellies full.

That was the thing he was able to do. Oh, I didn't mean to say bring them back from the dead and then feed them. Because it is kind of life. Like, when you're feeding someone, you're giving them life. So it is kind of like, he was able to cook dinner for everyone. Oh, you thought it was something about preventing an inevitable death? No, I was talking about cooking. Keep them alive.

Yeah, three squares a day. Nobody can give people, oh, are you stupid? And then we've got our big renaming here. You shall be known as Darth Vader. And I'm like, oh, look at this. How about this? One second was known as Anakin Skywalker. Now he wants to go by Darth Vader,

and no one in this world has a problem with it. Look how easy it was. Look, I want to be called this now. So do it. That's the end of it. Nothing wrong with it. I think it's just like immediate. Immediately, it's just like, okay.

Hey, oh, good, good, good, okay. Now, you know, oh, yeah, I don't, well, maybe the people, I don't know. Anyway, now go to the Jedi Temple and kill everyone you see. I'm going to tell you, you know what, of the things I've heard that actually do, that would make you immortal, child blood is one of the top ones. Of the ones I hear about that keeps you immortal forever, child blood is usually number one with a bullet. Palpatine's like, so I've done my own research, and what I've concluded is childblood will

help with our little science experiment. So your next order of business is to go to the temple immediately and kill everyone there. Students, teachers, janitors. Oh, and by the way, after that, don't come back here, okay? Go to Mustafa and then kill everyone there as well. And so while Anakin goes, makes his way to commute across town to the temple, this is a palpatine calls up Cody. Here's Cody.

Cody, execute Order 66, just like we talked about in rehearsals. Oh, did you say 69? No, no, no, no, no, my dick is fine. Order 69 is later this month for my birthday party. That's what I got. Order 66. The clone Orgy birthday party. That's when we start getting the Padmei clones out there, and we're going to print them.

First shipment goes to the Moby household, and then another one will go to the Saffron fire. Just for the record, Moby and Jonathan Saffron for a never-dated a Padma clone. So we just get this montage of all these Jedi getting fucking ganged across the galaxy here. First one down is Conehead guy, assassinated. That's great.

I love shooting that guy in the back or whatever after. There's like this Twilike Jedi woman on some like flowery kind of trippy planet. She's on this planet. I looked it up. Microsoft Screen Saver. Yes, that was... That's what the planet is. It looks like a part of the Burton chocolate factory.

Oh, sure. Like, that's kind of the feeling I got. Like, it does... The forest moon of Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory. It looks terrible. One of these is Plow Coon, I'm told. Plow Coon? Which is the guy with the...

Oh, I thought you were... Oh, I thought you were... It's a person you're saying not a planet name. The guy who's in the... He's in a starship. They get shot down. And I was like, God damn it's got like a kind of a face respirator type of thing. Oh, the dude got shot out of the sky.

Yeah. I think on the Gleap Glossary, we talked about him on our Jedi Council episode. We did very briefly. There's the Jedi on this, the speeder that just gets shot off. She gets got. There's a big, it's like almost like Michael Bay. Like you see the speeder like flying at the camera and like this woman's body is nowhere to be found. That's a good one.

But then here's the cool. This is a cool moment, man. I'm sorry. I know I've been complaining about the Kashik sequence a lot, but this is a cool moment. Yoda just hanging back. They're observing the battle such as it is, and the fucking clone trooper gets the order 66 over the radio,

and he nods to the other guy, like, all right, let's kill his little green fucker. And they go up, Yoda knows what's up, man. I guess he's the only one that had his fucking feelers up during this whole thing. And he just ices these two dudes. It's so funny because he decapitates that. Yeah, yeah. The fucking wukies turned around and they're like,

what just happened? What's going on? Wait, what? What? Whatever he ought to say. You got it boss man Good job Whatever you say man

We're cool It's so awesome And then we get a cool I do like Yoda Pulling Chubaka Or Chubaka pulling Yoda up on his shoulder Very reminiscent of Empire Strikes back here Yeah I guess

Well just with Luke Skywalker pulling him up No I know but it's just like I'm using you as a ride now Come on dude Come on He's an old man It's a friend It's a friend

It's not just he doesn't do that with just anybody. Him and Chubaka are old buddies. I was never too hot on the depiction of Yoda in these prequels. It's because you don't like

touching in general, Eric. Right on the backs of strangers, I won't. No, not sad. It's just like have him and have him be this mobile

and active. Yes, and a badass. It's weird. I'm not saying that he has to be old and crippled or whatever, like he's on Dagaba or whatever,

but I always just viewed him as like more pious. Like he's a higher being with this stuff. I always viewed the sword stuff to be beneath them. But I think what you see here though that I think is kind of

interesting and I never really looked at it this way early on when I was watching this movie when it came out especially but like this is the thing that makes him that these events in this movie right are the things that make him fucked up that was yeah exactly fucked up at work I did must go into hiding I will

you know what I mean like that's he's disgraced himself and feels like he failed you fuck it this dude fucking Yoda dude the minute minute shit gets hot He's like, out of here I am. Yeah, totally. Fuck off I have. Shagging ass, I will.

Which is, what a fucking coward. He loses the one guy he, like, actually liked on the council, Mace Window. He's gone. Sure. So, like, yeah, he's like, finally, I'm going to fuck off. Why, why Bobby come back out? Help the other Jedi, I won't. No.

Best friend at work, dead he is. Make stew and swamp, I will. What an asshole. Sometimes you've got to do that, Eric. Really? If I, if, let's say, uh, you know, Andrew was killed. I'm about to die, you just go, fuck off, I will. I need a lot more context.

What are we talking? Well, clearly it's a space battle. You just drop dead. No, it's a space battle. No, he got killed by a, he got killed by Tamara Morrison. And now Tamara Morrison's coming to kill me. What do you do? I'm going to get killed too.

Thank you. You'll help. Steve is the one that's going to run away. We don't all have Yoda powers. We can't get away. Okay, imagine you got a Yoda power. You got the full. yoda powers at your disposal yes

you would at least try to help me if timora morrison's trying to murder me well okay here's the one thing where I wouldn't and it would be a tough call I'm going to say it's a tough call oh but I would I would have to if I thought I was the last person to keep the Jedi training uh huh

if I thought I was the last one even do that until someone begs you look do you want me to fucking be his defense for the entire thing I'm just saying Yoda guilty speaking of guilty though here is the craziest thing in this movie is Anakin going into this temple. There's a bunch of fucking younglings hanging out. And

I feel the move here that makes this all the worse is like, it's one thing if the scene just happen and you see little kids and the lightsaber comes up and like you know what's going to happen. It's made worse by the fact that they have one of the kids come out and say a line of

dialogue. It makes it so much more real. Because he thinks it's safe. And this kid comes out exactly and he's like, Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What are we going to do. Take two on that line delivery, by the way, kid. I know you're a child and I shouldn't be critiquing. But now it's been 20

years and you're an old man. The actor is now an old man who played this role. I'm going to go ahead and say, I don't think you would have been happy with any child delivery of the lie. No, I would have been. You get one of those adorable Colkins in there. I would have trained it up. Oh, you need star power. I see.

What about Jonathan Lipnicki? He could have pulled it off. He would be disgusting. Are you saying? Did you know that the Jedi Order being executed right now is 66? Right there. That's worse than what I got. That's much worse than what I got. I might take it.

Show me both next to each other. Bail Organa given a line here by a couple of troopers. They're like, hey, shit's going tits up. And the Order 66 thing was just to kill Jedi, which you are not. So we're not going to kill you, but we are going to tell you to turn your ass around and get back in your

cool sports car. Yeah, leave the building. Take your leather outfit and go have your casual sex We're told that you are Yeah, you are important to lure So therefore you You must exit Let me just check

Real quick I know we're right This is part This part three right Oh yeah let me turn Oh yeah no he's in four Yeah no okay No he's mentioned

Well he's got to live till four I do get in the car But like listen Get in the car I'm just gonna tell him something okay If otherwise I would shoot your ass Yeah you're lucky That movie got made already pal

We go back to Kashik Really quickly And it's like observing the battlefield and fucking Yoda's like, so many dead wookies there are. I'm like, yeah, I know man. Take two on this too. Goodbye, Trubaca.

Miss you, I will. Miss you, I will. Sucks you, I'll give him a little kissy. It's just like Han Solo's co-pilot. This should come up somewhere. Like Han Solo be like, you knew Yoda. You're telling me, you knew Yoda

years ago. before any of this. Is Hans Solo even aware of the existence of Yoda? I mean, he must be at the end of Return of the Jedi. I'm sure it's like, I'm sure Luke spilled.

Let me tell you all my Master Yoda's stories. You know that guy would never shut up about his accomplishment. Here's my photo with my teacher. Exactly. I love when Yoda gets in this little skate pod to leave or whatever because it looks like

when it's that episode of the, I think it's Homer goes to the college at the beginning of it where like the, the, the, the, the, the, thing starts melting into the ground. It's, or maybe it's not, it's whenever they have to escape

the plant and Burns goes to get in the escape pod, and Smithers is like, please, sir, there's room for two, and he's like, I like to put my feet up. Feet up, I like. There's room for someone else to escape this planet. Enjoy slavery, you will. I'm leaving by myself.

But we cut back to Obi-1. He has been thrown in some water during Order 66. He's on his little guy. They shoot him. The little guy I can only presume dies on impact. The lizard thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that thing's meat. Totally dead. They're eating it later. I think it looks delicious, though. I will say that. As much as I don't like it, I would eat it. It looks like a sushi roll or something.

Oh, sure. Yeah. It's very colorful like that. It probably has to taste to see like eel. Oh, yeah. Totally. Get that eel sauce on there? Yeah, that'd be nice. Nice callback to Phantom Menace here when Obi-Wan swims out of the water. He's got the same little mouthpiece that they use. I like connecting these movies, George. Thank you. so he just he steals a ship and shaggs ass and he gives out emergency code 913 he says and canobie's got to go he reaches uh senator organa here and then fucking anakin we're just back at the apartment uh and then this is where he goes up to padma like oh the jedi have tried to overthrow the republic and she's like that kind of sounds like bullshit yeah that's

wrong i don't know about that uh you know and he's like no i saw it uh master windoo tried to kill Palpatine I saw with my own eyes and I'm loyal to the Chancellor and the Senate and you Take 2 Everything your take 2. How about that? He's never called the take 2 in his life

Unless it was like a real botched line. Well apparently like what some of his direction was like bigger or do that but better Like do it but better thanks a bunch He's got great vision. He's got great ideas. He's not an actor. Exactly. He's not actor director. He's not like bringing someone from the theater or something to help

with this. Right, right, right, right. So Kenobi reaches the meetup spot here and he's getting told all the bad news, like, oh, we, you know, we haven't heard from any other Jedi. There's a coded signal out there that it's telling Jedi to return to the Jedi

temple, and they're like, well, that sounds like a fucking trap. That's, yeah. But we're going to go investigate it all the same. Yoda's like, listen, we should try to destroy this signal. Is there their like side quests now here leaning into the end of the movie? But We get a quick peek in on Mustafa here.

And then this is Newt Gunray is FaceTiming with Palpatine. And this is the great, when Vader arrives, he will take care of you. It's hot here, isn't it? Yeah, a little hot here. I got to tell you. Here's where you drop a what did you say? That's a what did you say exactly? Let's contextualize.

What do you mean exactly? It sounded like between take care of and you, there were periods after every word. Why were those pregnant pauses there? Lord Sidious, why were you pointing a finger gun to your head while you were doing that? You know, this is a video call, right, sir? That was the kindness gun I was shooting at your head because we're going to take care of you and be kind. It was the gun of peace, you see. We're kind of a military kind of organization, so, you know, we have to do these things.

Vader at this point, he gets to Mustafa, tells Artu to wait in the car. couldn't believe that we've got these mouse droids a good little mouse droid return here they run in and they're like Darth Vader's here, Darth Vader's here because he's like walking like right behind them and this is where he comes in

Darth Vader who? Who? Oh I guess the guy that Citiate, I mean no, Cidius Palpatine's a different guy. Cidius said would come here. Wait, but what's what the where's the mask in the cape and all the

Oh, they came before. Okay. All right. Yeah. Okay. So these are first. All right. And then those are after.

You are doing characters in this movie realizing they're in a prequel, but somehow have knowledge of the next film. Well, yeah, they saw it. I mean, it came out. Yeah, they get, it's there. Saw it in theaters we did. It's more like I'm thinking of audience members who'd be like, well, that's not, that's not Darth Vader.

Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine with him just looking like Anakin here, but like. Can you just be Anakin? I kind of want to. more of this or something, you know, whatever. But it's fine. We got it. It's over. I don't have to think about it. It's a great, uh, he goes, I think his new gunnery himself says,

welcome Lord Vader. We've been expecting you. And dude Vader just uses the force to close the door and you're like, uh-oh. Yoda and co. Get to the temple. And bail organa says he's going to go into the Senate or whatever. Um, uh, and then this is dude, we're looking at all these fucking dead kid bodies. Oh, yeah. Not even the younglings have survived. If looking to the security footage you are. Pain is all you were found

Oh dude That's a fucking great moment Who could have done this Don't look at the cat Don't whatever you do Don't watch the diesel fucking Hurt Sog and the Grizzly man When he fires up those security cameras

It's like a fan cam Edit of this stuff It's like pretty righteous Killin those few people Oh now he's getting knighted It's just jumping around I'm like is this security footage And we see

Evil Anakin right here He's been doing some killing of the people in the room He's got the yellow eyes And then this is the big speech here Again Take two here on Natalie But this is

The Republic will be reorganized Into the first galactic empire And then she's got the So this is how liberty dies With thunderous applause Seems familiar to me Yeah Take two on the delivery though

The content Early prescient Oh yeah Turns out yeah That's how it does A dunk. Good dunk on that one. Vader saves the best for last. Newt Gunray killed after watching all of his other Trade Federation friends be murdered.

He is the last to go, which is awesome. I guess none of us will be able to share time anymore. Oh, no. I was so looking forward to becoming part of this pyramid scheme. There were so many just loose DVDs there to watch. But so Kenobi recalibrates the message to be like, hey Jedi actually stay the fuck away some bad shit went down. Do not fall

for this message. Get away. And then this is he's like, boy you have trained is gone now just Vader. You got to go to Volcano Planet and you got to rip some stuff up. And Kenobi, Arvi's like, I'll just go why don't we go kill Palpatine right now? And Yota's like, strong enough for

that you are not. He's just straight up is like, you can't do it. What? Why not? Yeah, I don't know. I thought I was a Jedi master like you, Yoda. Why don't you fucking get your little green buns out? Why don't you both fight them? The Jedi are known for double-teaming old men. It's true.

You wish they would get two in there at least. But I think he's killed a lot of them, Eric. He killed a lot of him before this ever happened. Kenobi has been tasked with, like, stopping Vader or whatever. So he goes to Padmae really quickly, like, hey, where's your man? You know where your guy is or whatever? And he tells him, tells her rather, you know. By the way, Anakin, he's definitely turned to the dark side.

and she's just like not having it like how could you even say that blah blah blah dude just show her that fucking hologram video just like look here's your fiance or who's your husband killing all these kids i'm not sure she might she might not want to have the kid then i think yes thank you i think we do the an abortion here on both of these fuckers because like i don't want this you know it's like when you realize like oh i'm married to a serial killer and i'm pregnant yeah am i going to like birth an eerie kid serial killer like do i want to bring them be responsible for bringing that into the world. But yeah, he does

say he's like, I've seen a video of him killing younglings. I'm like, you've got to put that in a little pocket video compact thing and just be like, here you go. Spread the word. Are you sure you don't believe? I'm going to hit play. If you're sure you don't believe me, I'm going to hit play on this thing. And then you're going to see what's going on.

And so he's like, Palpatine, it turns out Palpatine is the Sith Lord we've been looking for this whole time. I had my suspicions, what with them sharing similar chins, but it's confirmed. Palpatine Can you do lightning out your hands? No, I can't do lightning out my hands.

Well, and you just deal with bad. But Canobi also here, he's like, oh, by the way, I can notice you're pregnant. And Anakin's the father, isn't he? Yeah, now I see why you're not giving him up. Got it. Okay. And so Padme, knowing that he's on Mustafa, goes to, you know, get on her ship and go to Mustafa. And I love Anakin doing a little, or Obi-Wan,

doing a little stowaway thing here. He's, like, hiding behind the, like, ramp and he, like, jumps in right as it goes, which is a very, very smart, you know, intuitive little Obi-Wan Kenobi move. We get this awesome shot. I have to say, I really like this shot of Christensen. It's Vader, like, standing on this platform

after he's killed New Gunnray and everybody, and he's just looking out at, like, his new lava vacation home. And he's just staring, and it's just the tear going down the face. And why this is effective is because he doesn't have to say anything. Yeah, yeah. He's a very good action.

actor as far as like conveying thoughts and emotions with his face and this is one of those moments he's just staring his eyes aren't evil green or yellow anymore but he's just staring and there's a fucking tear going down his face and it's like this is what I'm fucking you know I'm doing so I can make sure my wife lives okay I love all the stuff on Mustafa all the stuff on most on I love this but to that point of like him crying after this happened like I would like Darth Vader to cry every time he kills someone you know like there's the muffled breathing, but it's also like weeping. It's not like someone strangling a donkey, but I understand.

People think it's like a, he's getting horny death rattle shit, but it's actually him being emotional about going through with it. I mean, yeah, like him breaking down, be like, what have I done after he kills Windu? Yeah. Like stuff like that is needed and like you want more. But like this is, I like that this is them taking the weakness all the way to like the end of the result. Like, he's just totally given over to this way of life.

Yes, he's sorry about this, but that doesn't matter. Like, none of that matters. Like, you still killed a bunch of kids, dude. And sorry you're bumming about that, but you fucking did the deed, man. And he gets the ending of someone who does that. Yeah. Well, I mean, the ending of it for me is right here you do one of the biggest cowardly pieces of shit, worthless scumbag, nothing soulless, garbage person thing. A man can do is fucking put your hands on a woman.

He fucking force chokes a pregnant. He fucking force chokes his pregnant wife, dude. And I should say he does the, he does start the force choking because Obi-Wan comes off the ship. And it's like, oh, you brought him here? Yeah. And like that. What happened is sensing each other? Like, is that, you just learn that later, I guess?

He's got a lot going on right now, Eric. It was my take on it. Is that like, you're taking a lot of stuff, right? I'm evil too. Oh, boy. Okay, that's a lot of take on. think about like all like he's sensing you know Luke you know later on but that's like 20 years in the future 20 years he also senses obiwan and shit too and on the death star so right yeah so

just like you know a couple decades of practicing his censor range I guess that's fair that's fair uh but there's great stuff here I love uh Obi-Wan criticizing him for like what he's saying your new empire and I got to tell you man you and McGregor I think he's one of the best to ever do it and he's fucking great and in this part this is where he's the best in these movies is right here. Like, I fucking trusted you. You are my brother at a kid. Like, he's so good here. I mean, even just go

back to the start of the movie and watch them both interacting with the cockpits of the ship. Yeah. And talking on the radio. You and McGreg are so much better at it. He is. He's just a great actor. Yeah. And I think he was great in the Obi-Wan show as well. I was thinking a lot about that show

re-watching this one. And it is solid stuff. Yeah, I want to go back to it. I thought about it specifically because at the end of this, of course, when Yoda's like, hey, I'm going to teach you how to contact your old buddy who's been floating around Quig on. And I'd forgotten that that moment exists

in this movie. And then I was like, fucking rad, because of course, that's what happens in the Canobi show. So it was cool to make that connection. That thread is cool. Yeah. There's a fan edit of that show into like a two and a half hour movie. Is that right? Yeah. I want to try that to see what that is like.

If it's available, yeah, I would like to see that. Because this is basically two and a half hours. Like two, two, 20 something. So like... Right. Yeah. I think it's about two and a half. Now, did Tofer Grace do this too? No, I think it's called like the Patterson cut. Don't quote me on that, but

it's got some name attached to it. Oh, that's pretty cool. I don't know if it's good, by the way. Well, sure. Only a Sith deals in absolutes. Anakin, I will do what I must. You will try. Another take two on that

one, but thus kicks off this awesome lightsaber, this thing, fucking rocks, like, as improbable as some of it is. Like, I can't imagine these things floating on lava as much as they do. One of the things is hovering over it, but that was, maybe I'm, I think there was like a

Spielberg note to George that would make it more dramatic to have it on a moving platform. And I do agree with that. Because when you're fighting and the environment's moving with, it makes it more dynamic. It's way cool. It's way cool. And also, we've had multiple

lightsaber battles in this movie that take place in offices already. So like, get outside, you know. where nary a floor lamp can be found. Let's have a lightsaber battle. No carpeting for this battle, please. And no great either. And this is like, you know, I have a mostly

functioning brain. I can watch one scene and then watch another scene and like realize maybe those things took place around the same time together like simultaneously. Sure. Or like maybe they didn't and it kind of is irrelevant but this is what it kind of sucks. We were talking about this, the editing because now we bring in

simultaneous to the Mustafa lightsaber fight is the fight in the Senate with Yoda and Palpatine Yoda struts into the office right here. I love him knocking the shit of those two Red Guard guys at the door. That is cool. I think that some of the problem is you want to make that

lightsaber fight on Mustafa so epic and you make it so long and you cut a way to make it seem longer and more epic. Yeah. Which I don't know. But you're cutting it against another epic ass fight though. But it's not it's not even close to us epic

because it's like you are dealing with the fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin is what this whole fucking thing has been building three movies this has been the thing so why are you fucking diluting it by like I get it it's two important characters fighting yes that's important they have

not been like sworn enemies or like best friends for fucking ever and we haven't seen that fucking build or fucking we don't see where that goes you know they're just two really important characters fighting this is hugely emotional why can't you just focus on it that is a huge one of my biggest issues with this movie is that like

this is the fight this is the thing you have to focus on but we pause it to throw around Senate desks at each other yeah I'll tell you what's very entertaining about this anytime you see Yoda getting hit with forced lightning just this little bastard getting shot across it is very funny it's and just think about how much funnier it would be if it was a puppet doing it instead of a cartoon that's just me I love puppet violence funny thing about the Moustafar fight before it breaks out into the lava area

and whatever, they're literally like battling each other over a newt gun ray's corpse in one shot and it's the funniest fucking... Oh, what is that? Oh, bother. Oh, disgusting. Let's take it outside. I'm going to just pretend I'm dead.

Just gonna pretend I get dead. Oh my God. Oh! I do love Palpatine calling Yoda, My little green friend. It's like he's threatening a ninja turtle. I thought Kermit was going to come at or something. Fight you, I will. The rainbow kada.

But, you know, if you're so powerful, why are you leaving? And, you know, whatever. Why leave? Get in this fight. And, you know, we've got some cool stuff here. I like Vader choking Kenobi with the fucking robot arm. So that's not even force choking. That is just a metallic thing closing on your windpipe.

Oh, yeah, those are tough. That'd be rough. I hate when that happens. happens all the time you know it's it's we're not gonna go through every beat of these fights I do like as dumb as it is I don't know

we're both swirling chairs around and throwing them at each other it's very WW my god he hit him in the back of the head with the chair kind of shit sure yeah but when he just like eventually just Yoda falls down he's like ah shit go I will

fuck off I must yeah because they both just fight until they get tired and then Yoda's like right is here it is you know and then Jimmy Smith pulls up I do Yoda doing a little die-harding through that one tunnel because he's trying to get to

like the meetup point with with bail organa there and you see just shots of this little cartoon guy just crawling through a little vent. Very Bruce McHillis. Pretty great. But yeah, you know, whatever. He gets in the car and speeds out. He's like, this is the

failed I have into exile I must go. Jimmy Smith's is like, what? To your point, he should be wearing a tank top now. Oh, yes. And like, has his lightsaber like tape to his back. now I have lightsaber ho ho ho oh oh it's awesome

but yeah clone troopers are trying to find Yoda's little corpse they can't do it that's another little great moment but he's like I sense Lord Vader is in danger that's a palpeteen line at one point into exile I must go failed I have he speeds off Anakin the Chancellor is evil

we're back to that from my point of view the Jedi are evil dole yeah let's just fast forward through that line, Anakin. Yikes. I have the high ground. Please don't, don't be stupid. Yeah, this is great. You underestimate

my power. Don't try it. Oh, man. And just one arm and two legs right off this fucker. And you know, I would say I hate you as well. Yeah. Totally. But, you know, you realize a real problem here and it's one of those you, I guess, damned either way

in some respects, but like, here's Obi-Wan. Like, this is the moment to lay the death blow, dude, and like, make sure that this guy is fucking done and you don't. You just leave him assuming that the lava bank is going to, like, rise up and consume him. But I guess, you know, the Jedi way and all. No, exactly. If you, if you walk up and, like, curb stomp him right there, I, you will you be Darth Vader then? Exactly. It's a tough decision. I understand why he made the decision he did. That's my point. Yeah. I think you just, you know, what you do is you hang out and watch him die.

maybe you get the marshmallows if he was completely on fire I would believe I have done my job if at that point I'm like you know what he is entirely on fire

I don't know if you come back from that one that shit about do it I guess I can go home now even if I do like what I'm not aware of the Vader suit whatever fucking nonsense they got cooking up back there

actually maybe he's not aware that you can do that to a person I wouldn't I'd be like oh of course you could survive this why not well basically he's a general grievous Right. Yeah, exactly. So you've seen some of that technology. And by the way, Obi-Wan has to go and tend to the dying corpse of Padmae and get those babies out, get them critters.

He's got stuff to do. 3PO's like, we better get shagging ass here. There's some other medical emergencies happen. I understand. Best friend. But really, we have to get going here. And then, like, as soon as they leave, it's funny they didn't like pass each other in traffic because as soon as they get out of here, Palpatine lands. They're all looking at the window at each other. Was that who I thought? No, it couldn't be. No, my man wouldn't.

Oh, my God. You, you don't, okay, you know what? Call it up my suit guys. Yeah. My robosuit guys, get them on the phone. I need them to start working yesterday. Yeah, ASAP, because this guy's burnt his shit and smells like crusty hot dogs. Whatever the edge of the best you got, get it here now.

We have the Frankenstein reference of him being raised up on this. this, this table, which is funny now. They've, they've changed this multiple times over the years. Is that right? Yeah, well, originally his arms were clamped up. Vader's arms were clamped up. But that looks silly. Yeah, in the original theatrical release, his arms were clamped up.

Is that right? Now they're down and he breaks them out like that. Because it looks, I mean, it does. It looks silly with the two. Yeah, I mean, I guess like, unless you were like intentionally torturing James Bond or something, Why would you put someone's arms up like that for a medical procedure? Especially with no arms. Right.

Yeah. I do like the establishing shot of this like asteroid base where they take Padmei because there's this awesome shot of, there's like a dude in the foreground, like in a space suit, like standing outside on the asteroid. And he's looking down, like the base has been built into like a crater of the asteroid. Very 2001, like when they get to the moon and there's like the establishing shots of like it's just a guy. just to show you like the scope of it Kubrick puts like a couple of guys like in the foreground you can see it just totally reminded me of that moment but yeah this is the whole

like now we got to do this droid is like shit's going south fast so we need to make some medical decisions here who's the next of kin on the list I guess I am shit Obie is in charge of this and it's like okay we got one we got two all right it's amazing because the robot is like something something we have to get them out of there

and then it's like what them yes she's carrying twins and like in Star Wars we have a moment of twins like I'm sorry like you know I guess still in modern times here like in 2025 and so on like yeah maybe

it's a surprise at some point like oh geez actually it turns out there's you got twins in here okay congratulations we were waiting for birth you know we wanted to be a surprise of gender we're not going to look into it but like with space technology you got to know like right away but like the droids knew back on

like don't tell me don't tell me we're waiting I can see Padmay's still being like I don't want to know I don't want to know that but like he certainly knew fucking Annie what's left of him he fucking do yeah and so we we get into just the end of this movie is very return to the king we got to like stop every little thread the stories must be cold yes I mean

there's a scene with like the fucking adoption agreements here like Jimmy Smith's like we always want to adopt a baby girl anyway so we'll take Leah oh by the way have those droids minds wiped so it makes sense for the next movie. Anyway, let's Yeah, exactly, dude. No reason. You know, just do it, yeah, yeah.

And then, yeah, you know, Obi-Wan is like, I will take charge of the boy, bring him back to the family, you know, his family on Tatooine. We go. Here's fucking Uncle Owen and Aunt Barrett. Cult lady. Yeah, Edgerton and Mrs. Cult. Mrs. Nexium, yeah.

And it just ends of, I've always like this final shot. Very traditional Star Wars. It's very much how new hope ends, right? It's like staring out on the suns, cuts the credits. I think it's a very nice ending that takes about like 17 minutes to actually get to that one with like

the eight other endings that you have here. But that is the end of the movie. We'll go around for some final thoughts and recommendations. Eric Siska. Yeah, I mean, I warmed a little, warmed up a little bit to this one on this rewatch. I would say it's the lightest of lightest recommends because it is still Star Wars

you get the lightsaber fights you know a lot of the CGI is just pure overload for me in this and it just doesn't really work as well as other Star Wars properties I don't hate the Disney era as much as you listening to this I at least like that they have

sets and there people are wearing costumes at the very least I feel like you know it's George taking such a huge swing and I feel like when you do that sometimes you miss and I feel like a lot of the prequels trilogy did miss the ideas are there I just don't think some of the performances work I don't think it all coalesces properly but it is you know it's it's still one of the better prequals I actually prefer phantom menace personally but

this is certainly no attack of the clones and that's amazing Christopher uh yeah I as I said I think this is my favorite that's not the OG trilogy I think of the three prequelies each one of them is centered on something that they're trying there's an emotional relationship they are talking about in each movie that they are trying to make it matter right so in the in the second one in attack of the clones it's Padmay and Anakin like right what you're supposed to get from that movie if it was done correct is like this romance like oh my god like this big sweeping intergalactic romance I love to see that two unique people and like of course doesn't work. The first one, it should be

a kind of a father's son thing, right? It's like these two men who are trying to create a future for this kid and like a place where like whatever he is bound to become, he has a place in this world and you're supposed to get that feeling. I don't think it really works. Some of it works a little better than not and that's why I think it's better than attack clones. This is the only one where it works 100%. The relationship between Anakin and

fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi. Yeah. Which is the core of this movie it works and it ends in a in a meaningful way like the fucking guy who weak and took all the wrong decisions and fucked up and killed off this whole race of people who are important like he fucking gets it he fucking gets his arms and legs sliced off and he's set on fire by his best friend right while his fucking wife dies anyway right so like he gets all of it like it's the only time these movies have actually been like no the fucking faith that you're you're gonna get it and holy fucking shit is it bad yeah and like i i really do appreciate that in a in a series that is always like well the kids let's think about the kids let's think about the kids let's think about

the kids yes yes always let's think about that and like i'm like no this is one where they didn't they're like no this is fucking serious and like and the the outcome is serious uh and i that's why i i say last july is about as good it has moments that are about as good as this the laura durn final moment is phenomenal hell yeah phenomenal as good as I at any moment in this whole series so I do they're very close for me but though that's where it ends up

with me huge recommend yeah it's a recommend for me too I really enjoyed myself going going through it yeah and I think it's it's what you're saying it's because like that emotional connection is projected on screen the most

successfully right you can see it with the other two but this is the best of it I'll tell you what if they had Kwai Gonjin Obi-Wan Kenobi and then a third guy trying to take care of Jake Lloyd now you got yourself a three men in a baby situation You can make that work It could have even bed Ted dancing

You could get me Ted dancing up there Ted dancing in Star Wars hell yeah The Jedi Take out Jar Jar Binks adding Ted dancing Absolutely that works No yeah this is a recommend for me I think it is my favorite prequel I did I've liked it to varying degrees

since seeing it in theaters You know listen I got no idea What I said on that fucking Commentary You know what? That shit's performative. It's 10 years ago. Who knows? This is the real deal. This is real me. I remember this.

No, but it's like, I don't know. But it's like, you know, it's why I am fascinated these days in my age about reevaluation. I will say also, keep in mind, back then when we recorded that, it was probably like 2012 or something. And the thing is, movies have gotten so much worse over the years. So now you go back to stuff and you're like, that's not bad. If that came out now, I would be loving it because movies has gotten so bad. Don't know what you got till it's gone. Exactly.

So much of life is exactly that. Yeah. But that is going to do it. That's a great final note. That is going to do it for this episode on Star Wars episode three, Revenge of the Sith. If you want more We Hate Movies, including ad-free versions of this very show, head over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies, where this month we launched off a really awesome we love movies on Mission Impossible Fallout. That's right.

Hell yeah. And if you want more Star Wars talk every single month, we have a Star Wars side show called the Gleap Glouclery, where we talk about the side tertiary characters and sometimes major characters of the Star Wars universe. Last month we did Newt Gunray. This month we're doing Queller, who was from the New Rebellion EU novel. All the stars are here. Well, you know, you go back. We've got Emperor Palpatine.

We do. We did a ball. We've done a lot. And to your point, dude, this summer in Oxford at the Oxford Comedy Festival, we'll be doing it first ever live bleep glossary on freaking Darth Vader. On Darth Vader, we're going to be due. In that show, we generally use the old EU continuity, so it's fun. We mix it up. We have a lot of laughs and jeers.

Laughs and jeers, that's right. And like many of the messy emotions that go on here, there are many messy emotions on on Melrose Place. Absolutely. We are going to be back more Melrose 210. We are now past the events of Daddy Wars. Right, but that was still the May episode, I believe. Yes. And if you're new at the aftermath of Daddy Wars.

If you're new, that's our show where we do 902 and Melrose Place, back to back. And we also, similarly back to back, we do The Nexus, which is a Star Trek show where we do the next generation. And we finished all of the original series. And now we are doing the entirety of the original series animated series, which we call Toastas. Toastas. One of the best things you can do drugs do and watch on TV. So we are going through all of Toastas and TNG. We're in season four of TNG now. we're having a ball come listen come hang out hell yeah join the party my friends uh but that is

going to do it but like we always say uh next tuesday there's another episode it's another entry in this year's summer blockbuster extravaganza chris cabin what we'll be talking about next week we're going back out with the ethan hunt i believe we're going to mission impossible three that's right it's another three like back to back three double threes i really like mission impossible three that's going to be a fun definitely a we like a lot of fun we love movies maybe we love you know what it doesn't it happens it's just we're having fun talking about the movies and the

rock and roll thing he's about to step into the studio so we can record the episode we'll be welcoming back our good bud Ben Worcester to talk about it yes you might remember in the archives you can find the old Mission of Possible athons where we did many episodes on all the Mission Impossible movies leading up to maybe rogue nation or something I think it was leading up to

and Ben was on those so and I guarantee if you listen to any of those i'm sure a ton of shit i said on those is totally invalid i i feel like this is a franchise that i've i've always liked but like really have come around to love so it's going to be a lot of fun next week when we talk about j j abrams i almost said episode three but just mission impossible three but until then i've been andrewing eric siska chris gabin take it easy Thank you.