We Hate Movies - S15 Ep803: Rambo: First Blood Part II

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

“He’s the walking dead!” - Eric on contemporary Sly’s look On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza launches into month two by celebrating the Totally Cool Awesome 80s! First up, we’re talking about the stupidly-titled Rambo: First Blood Part II! How funny is it that this movie pulls a complete 180 on the philosophy of the first film? How great is Sly’s hair in this one? Couldn’t they have had a few more action scenes with Martin Kove? How wild is it that Predator completely ripped off the Rambo covered in mud bit? And why didn’t Murdock get a rockin’ death in this? PLUS: Fellow veterans, Bebop and Rocksteady, meet John Rambo! Rambo: First Blood Part II stars Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Charles Napier, Steven Berkoff, Julia Nickson, George Cheung, and Martin Kove as Ericson; directed by George P. Cosmatos. Today’s episode is brought to you in part by Car Gurus! Buy or sell your next car today with Car Gurus at cargurus dot com. Go to cargurus dot com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That’s C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S dot com. Cargurus dot com!  Don’t miss our next Worldwide Digital Event, happening Friday, June 20th at 9pm/eastern where we’ll be LIVE talking about a total superhero all-timer, Superman II! Join us that night to revel in all the fun with Zod & Friends, everyone at the Daily Planet, and the two legendary performances from Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman! Replay available for 14 days after broadcast!  Tickets are going fast for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20. Tickets are going fast—our shows on Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser are already SOLD OUT—so don’t wait, snag your tix today! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

this week on the program yeah definitely needed a second pass on this title it's rambo first blood part two i'm andrew jupin eric siska part two it's a cabin chris first uh movie part two yeah that sounds right yeah dude's got the longest birth certificate name section hell yes and we hate movies Hello, Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. And welcome to the next chapter of our summer blockbuster extravaganza. This is

the totally cool, awesome 80s mind. Wow, yeah. Outrageous. Does not apply to Patreon where it is 28 days later months. That's right. Getting into the zombies over on the Patreon, but here's a dude who's a zombie now, but he wasn't

in 1985. He's a zombie now, right? God damn. He's the Walking Dead. Dude, you look You look at that second season of Tulsa King, man, or how he looks in a law room. And it's very surprising how people are afraid of him in the Tulsa. I mean, Hollywood ambassador to the White House. Right. Right.

The great, really a title now. I'm just setting the clock here. I'm just every time we mention it, we can only spend 17 minutes on Tulsa King. That's the total tops we're talking about Tulsa King. You gave them way too much. 17? Listen, you guys are just mad you're not hip to the party. Yeah, that's actually very true.

I'm sad. I'm kind of like, I'm that dude who like knows that the junkies hooked on is wrong. But, you know, I'm too old at this point. I can't stop now. That's good casting. It tastes so good and bad at the same time.

Sure. But you're right. Emperor of Hollywood. One of the, one of our, one of the esteemed. Right. Jimson, John Voight, who else? Scott Bayo. Gibson is involved.

Oh, yeah. Gibson, Void. He's like a wild card, though. Stallone is the guy. Like, I think all the other ones are kind of like, yeah, sure. you got to tell, but Stallone is the guy, and he's the one who's giving them, like, reports of, like, he actually talks about Trump, I feel like, whereas, like, Voight is just like, it's all hell, but he's the one who's going to take us there.

Oh, I don't know. He is definitely voiced enough about the current president. But Stallone is the one that's, like, still making the most movies per year. He's making seven movies a year at this point. And only I watch them. But I feel like we've got to start taking a tally of screen time and then, like, consolidate that because, like, for all the alarms out there, you can make seven

alarms, you got 20 minutes of screen time total for the whole year. Why are you making alarms? Alarum. That's the movie that was in the movie. Yes, this is a secret movie we covered on on screen live, which is our YouTube Shide show. And that's, it's, oh, what's all these alarms going off? But that's not, I thought

he was trying to say alarm. Yeah. But no, it's a laram, and it's about armored cars or something. I vaguely now remember us talking about this. People are feverishly Googling this movie. Like, I never heard of this. and then saying no, no. No. Oh, absolutely. Don't bother.

You're like, go find a red box under the ocean. Is that? Seed dive to find that movie. One of the Polish brothers? Maybe. Maybe. We were talking about one of that. He did definitely, they definitely did one of those secrets to loans.

That might be it. Speaking of secrets, by those, movies directed by George P. Cosmetos, who would go on to do Cobra, of course, Leviathan. He got fired from Tombstone or was like the replacement? He was the replacement. He was the replacement. He didn't know what he was doing. and yeah, all right. Couldn't figure that. And then, um, has anyone seen this, uh, shadow conspiracy

with Charlie Sheen and Donald Southern? No, it sounds really good. That'll be tomorrow. It does sound really good. Yes. You'll never survive the shadow conspiracy. It's like, uh, it's like Charlie Sheen, like something, something government is like secret assassination. He's trying to uncover something. I like that sounds like a late 90s political thriller, like Nick of Time for you remember that moment. Oh my God. Of course. Who could forget? I was going to read that one. Um, by the way, points off to Amazon yet again I've got to do it Oh here we go

Last night I have an AMC plus subscription Because Oh wow you're bragging about his subscriptions Catching up on the Walking Dead I see Stay tuned for the rocket money It's only because we are doing

A Mad Men rewatched that makes it You know That pays for it So you don't buy the discs No You don't fuck with discs I don't this whole story is I should fuck with it

Because they took out Well I mean Mad Men They took off those Controversial episodes Oh really? Yeah Oh, really? It didn't. Oh, wow. You're missing the good stuff.

Good stuff. Roger and Blackface episode. I was trying to dance around it. Oh, I'll find it. It's like, oh, free with your AMC Plus subscription. Here's Rambo 2. I'm like, great. I just click it.

Sure. And I'm a little nervous because I'm like, all right, if they start editing, if it's like an edited, if it's a, you know what I mean? Like for TV? Yeah. So I was worried about that. No. Why would they do that? No, exactly.

I'm paying for AMC Plus over here. It says rated R, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, okay, cool. It's going to be the real movie. And I'm watching the movie and I'm like, wow, this movie's edited like shit every so often and I mean a lot, there's

just a weird fate to black and it's like a three second long fade to black and I'm like, I'm writing notes down, I'm like... There's no quality anymore. They're firing quality control people who would actually sit there and watch the feature and figure out if this was the right version to air. Exactly. So I'm

looking at the book, well this, did somebody I wrote a note like, did the editor drop this in the toilet because they're just like, All of these, like, fade to blacks, like, three seconds long. I'm like, how many, how many minutes apart are we talking here? Like, eight minutes, 12 minutes. Like, you know why? Because they're fucking commercial breaks.

Exactly. They are actual commercial breaks. Every 12 minutes. Jesus Christ. And, like, literally to the point where at the end, when, like, they're like, he's like, uh, lone wolf a Beck, baby. And never goes, yay, Ray, Rambo. You watch the entire movie with the commercial breaks, fate.

The fade in and fades out. Now with the commercial breaks. Because I didn't know what they were. I literally thought that they were actually. Then you rented it on Amazon and watched it. again? No, no, no, I did not. So you watched it with the fade out. With the fade outs, and I didn't realize what was going on until the actual

credits come up, and I'm like, oh man, here comes this Frank Stallone song, and it's the fast version of the credits, like coming up after the ball game. The credits are three seconds long. That's absurd. Well, that's the cheapest edition of it, so that's why they took that one. It's crazy. By the way, apparently I have seen Shadow Conspiracy, and it was real bad.

Wow, letter, in from letterbox. Yeah, because I was like, wait a minute. I went through George's filmography at some point was like I want to look at it's not huge we left off what he actually

the best thing he produced is Panos my god Shanos Cosmatos the fucking man of Mandi it is his seed very good job there George

very good Nepo you produce We did very well but that's the best argument for letterbox it's literally the only reason I use it is because I want to know what I've seen before

because I've sat down I'm like hot digity damn I'm like, oh, wait, two stars on my letter? I have 100% done that same thing. Because I went through, because George has made at least one movie I really like, which is of unknown origin. The mutant rats are in my new apartment. Oh, yes, I've never seen it.

Peter Weller. Okay. It's so fucking good. Peter Weller and Joe's apartment. Essentially. You know, speaking of the Amazon thing, though, and then I promise we'll talk about Rambo First Bloods. Well, there's not a lot here anyway, so go on.

Yeah, we'll vamp a little bit. kind of a lean movie, but, so I've been trying to catch up with Andor, and so I'm watching a couple episodes last night, and I don't know, did you guys get a good luck at these Disney Plus episode descriptions? They're clearly having AI write it. Of course they are, of course. But it is like, it's not even descriptions. It's like, heist happens, Stellan Scarsgaard, adventure,

and or in trouble. There is nothing these guys. They are waiting every morning. They are getting up in the morning early, every day, to see if they can fire someone. Yep. Because that's like that's like this is what AI is promising. But this has been so crazy because fire someone and burn down a rainforest. I'm glad that

you can fucking save a few pennies and destroy part of the rainforests, but you know what I can't do? Figure out if I watch this fucking episode already. Because the fucking description doesn't make any sense. It's absolutely bullshit. They don't even do like a checkmark after you watched it or something like that. Well, we share

an account with friends and all the friends of Star Wars. Whoa, whoa, whoa, here we go. Oh, there's The corporate call the police. Wee woo, we woo. But also, even not doing that, though, we sometimes will use the Disney Plus app on the smart TV or sometimes the Disney Plus app on the Apple TV

depending on what room of the hat, like this TV here in the studio is a different app than out there and whatever. Sure. So even if it's not who we're sharing with, I can't figure out what I fucking watched already. Well, you just said that sounds like a living nightmare, honestly. Not knowing, it's terrifying to me. But if it just had a thing where it was like,

in this episode, this is what happens and it's like a brief, succinct, helpful description like they should be. Well, then you're talking about a 20 plus thread about how Disney Plus spoiled the fourth episode of Andor for the worst human being

on earth. That's me. Hello, Steve. You know me and my spoilers. Yeah, so this one, this is the original sin of the Rambo franchise. It's the sequel. And like, the first movie is a great movie. With actually good, good. Hey, Snakey, you want to get, I'm taking a bite of this apple.

Is that a problem with you? He does what the snake live, which I was shocked by it. Yeah, because it told them to commit original sin. Eat that apple, Rambo. Go out and fuck co. Oh, she's totally Swiss cheese. Wait a second. She's made out of my rib.

Is this incest? It's self-sessed, baby. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit, Rambo. It's like I'm fucking myself. Isn't it weird that both endropologists think she's in Africa? but everybody oh whatever you know it whatever

but to your point this is a bit of a reversal for the franchise it is because it's a big the first movie is a really cool like man in peril man against it's like a 70s movie in the early 80s and it's a really good Stallone performance it's a great movie with a capital G great action action movie

yes yes exactly and then this is just like jingoistic dog shit it's the rise of Skywalker it literally is very similar to me a conspiracy theory come to lie us and this was all the rage at the time and still is people were convinced the flags

you see the flags fucking everywhere outside the post office flags on the t-shirts my one uncle wears nonsense you know that in like it was 2017 or 2019 there's a new law that they have to fly like all federal buildings now so this is a new as well as an old thing

I think it flew over the White House at first 82 yeah because it's a thing where like there's a gem of oh man, let's memorialize all the people we lost in Vietnam. That's a great idea because that's a horrible thing about all the people who lost in Vietnam and all the people we fucking murdered Vietnam as well.

We threw into the meat grinder for no reason. But the other thing is like the idea this movie posits 2,500 people are just in Vietnam right now. Yeah, they're making your wallet. They're making your wallet. They're living in fucking weird bamboo caves and whatever. Your fucking neighbor.

Your fucking neighbor's doing that, bro. And this is also like... Who's neighbor in the United States. Yeah, it's like an American is doing that. Oh, I thought you meant like someone. I thought you meant the wallet factory came over to Fred's house and was in the basement. Well, with these beautiful tariffs, maybe. But, you know, it's, it's,

it's giving people hope. I think it's what it took off. Yes. In the 70s and 80s was like, maybe my son is still a lot. Yeah, sure. Oh, no, we did it. We didn't, we didn't lose Vietnam. We didn't do it. Yes, he's over there being strong, making wallets for us. Good. But I think there was one guy that actually came over that was actually a former POW

that propagated this. I think it was like 79 or something and he was actually a collaborator with the Viet Cong, I guess translating for the other prisoners and he just wanted to come home eventually and then made up this fucking story. I think he was found guilty of collaborating. Oh, is that right? There was a whole series of stuff in the 90s like court congressional hearings with John Kerry and blah blah and they just

literally said this is this is fake. There are are no, like we got like 500 some odd. Fucking Richard Nixon was saying this was fake in the 70. Yes. You know if I'm saying it must be true. It was like we got 500 the 500 P-O-W is when the war ended after some concessions or whatever. But

because it was an interesting thing because I think Nixon was inflating those numbers to get the war going. He's like, there's got to be fucking 3,000 blah blah blahs. And then everyone's like, wait a second. What about those other guys? Oh shit. Oh, those inflated numbers I made have to come back to bite me my fat ass. Now actually, no.

Actually, I'm going to embrace this as much as I can. Yes, yes, we should. Why would you keep a lot? First of all, even if they had the maybe they shot them, you know, of course they're going to die or whatever. Why would you keep alive all these people who don't speak the language, don't know how to sew, have a terrible work ethic? They're not going to work the rice patties and all that shit. Keep trying to escape. Yes.

It's just a very bizarre idea. I mean, I think also missing an action is part of this, too. There's a couple of action movies. A Delta Force. It's the asterisk. It's to keep saying, no, it's technically. not over. We might still win Vietnam. Well, because that's the... Even today.

In the inside, in the beginning of the movie when Rambo is in prison with beautiful hair, by the way. Dude, his hair in this movie is awesome. It's hilarious. It's beautiful. It's conditioned. It's like lightly feathered, like Farrah Fawcett-S. I was going to say, who's setting him the conditioner?

We start, he's on a chain gang or whatever. You know, we're doing the... Take it off, boss. It's great, though. This opening shot is awesome because it's a huge explosion. And you're like, boom wartime shit you're back in Vietnam and then like it is a pan down nope just good old

fashion American fucking slave prison laborer we need to crush all these rocks for just breaking rocks with a pickax like it's 1865 you know I might try that recall thing put me back in the war this time we win and here comes Troutman you know good old Troutman Richard Crenna

who's great I love Crenna and all these Crenna's awesome in all three of the original movies, including the third one where he is fucking kidnapped and Rambo's got to go save him in Afghanistan. The O.T. dude. Question for the group and also people want to comment on the Patreon and wherever else. Is he the only guy that

parodied his own movie, his own character in... Oh, because Crenna's in Hot Shots 2. He is doing the exact same. He's doing Troutman in Hot Shots Part 2. Better movie. I love Hot Shots 2. Can I pause it? Here's one. And people

might not consider it, but I do because it's stupid and terrible. Patrick Stewart definitely parodied Professor Xavier in that piece of shit Dr. Strange 2 movie. That's a parody of a thing that's been excellent. Joke parody satire right there.

I'm curious. Somebody will have something somewhere. Yeah, but it's an interesting thing that he actually does it. It's not even like a cameo, like a one shot like, oh, I'm Mark Hamel. Isn't Star War is silly? No, he's in the movie. Yeah, no, he's just a big part of it. And it's funny because it's like,

It's not like, you know, Colonel Troutman was such a cultural mainstay. Like Charlie Chapin dressing up like the champ, the tramp in some movie that's not, you know, it's not that. He's an old guy at a beret. It's a nothing character in these three action movies. And he's just doing a full parody for the whole 102 minute runtime. He's neither rigs nor Murtaugh. This is a Rambo show. There's a lot of great Troutman jokes in Hotcharts Part due, including.

in the end credits, it says, did you know Richard Crenna invented Tartar song? That's because Troutman. I got a reaction. I don't know. Both those movies are very funny. That movie I've seen fucking a million times. I've actually never seen Rambo Part 2.

That's the first time. That's why, again, when all these blackouts were happening, I'm like, what's going on with this editing? I'm falling asleep again. Great line here, Troutman says, you know, sorry we sent you to this hellhole. Great still, because I think, listen, like, This movie

doesn't have politics I agree with and supports a really damaging conspiracy theory but Stallone's really good in this I think and he gives a look back at like the breaking of the rocks

and turns around he's like I've seen worse Yeah It may I remind you I was in Vietnam I also was in Hope watching

in that place said Got the shit out of there man Too many logging trucks Freaking me out I've been stuck here man Yeah, all I got is pert. Perth plus. Exactly.

Again, like, it's just fucking, you know, it's cool-hand Luke and this guy's got this fucking, who's giving him the blow dryer is my question. Well, I won the hard-boiled egg eating contest. So I got my own bottle of conditioning. I don't like, I don't like admitting this, but I do a little dance for the guy who runs the place. Oh, no. Just a little dance. Nothing crazy.

It was a one-time thing. You know, I like Saturday Night Fever as much as it. They kept throwing cans at me What I was it supposed to do? Dude, speaking of Saturday Night Fever, the original James Cameron script for this movie sided Rambo with a tech-savvy, wisecracking sidekick,

which at one point was considered to be played by John Travolta. And then it was a lot of like, but Rambo doesn't have any of the funny lines, you better get this character out of this. That's one of those chocolate and tuna fish mixtures that like, I do kind of want to see just to see it. Could you just imagine just like, ooh-a-gooba, boo-bibba, ooh, I'll do it, you know what I mean?

Like, just like, it's just, that's impossible. It's too Italian for anything. It's the first American language movie released by Hollywood all over the United States that required sub-taders-dozed. I put, I put these on pretty quick when he started. Oh, Mumblin, I was like, what is he saying? Because it's mumbling, but also like, he still has the original jaw. that came with his mouth

and like so he had these like push lips a little I'm always kind of about to kiss you yeah huh like that you just you need them subs on baby so Troutman is like look here's the deal news in from Southeast Asia

turns out we may got a line on some fellas we need you John Rambo the best Vietnam veteran right which the computer spit out oh yes it is only one of three people that could do this And this is what AI is for, finding out which a prisoner can survive the jungles of Vietnam again. That's perfect.

Because, like, you imagine Richard Krenna, like, going on to Google and just like, well, who would be the best fucking, best soldier to go back to NAM? AI overview. John Rambo, who is free and living in Chicago right now. John McCain, who is still alive. But wait, wasn't he captured? Or is Steven Sadegh, a fat little podcast because they don't know fucking shit. No, it's just. No.

Ooh, it's spaghetti soup over there. But, so yeah, but do we get to win this time? Oh, the big one. Mr. General Man, do we get to win this time? It's up to you. You might say, John Rambo, this movie is a choose-your-own-adventure. Oh, shit, go to page 115 to go on the adventure. Do you get to win?

Do you get to win? It's the big, that's the whole thing. That's the whole fucking movie right there. And also, presidential pardon, floated. Uh-huh. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yes. Yeah.

But the, the bit of bullshit, we're. told and it's like then you you have hired the wrong bulldog for this all they want him to do is find the guys and if he finds them just take photos and then leave and it's like dude you expect this guy

to turn around after snapping some picks great work Rambo did you know the lens cap was on the entire time it's actually a protection it's a protection mission meet your your buddy here at Dick Avidon

no no there it was night time Oh, that was a nighttime, too. That was a night shot. Oh, man, so many nighttime shots. You can see your hand, dude. That's a guy. That's your thumb. Yeah, well, it's proof I was there.

But also, getting John Rambo in Vietnam, armed to the teeth, and only to take pictures, that's like fucking putting a mouse in a room with a bunch of cheese and being like, yo, dude, just take a bunch of pictures of it. No, he's going to tear through these fucking Vietnamese. That's what he does. It's like putting Joey chestnut in front of a stack of 500 hot dogs and tell him to sit there with his hands folded. I don't think so.

He's going to eat. Dude's going to eat. That's an American hero. We got a break out of prison. Oh, absolutely. But it's interesting you said a tech savvy thing because that is like such a drop. A, the beginning of this movie is so boring, by the way. It really.

It's not even like the tension. Like, because again, like the first movie is kind of slow. You know what I mean? Like it builds to something. You know what I mean? Like we're talking. The cinematography is great. This is just boring.

I didn't find it that boring because. there's some bombastic lines that really just make me sit up in my chair. Like what? From whom? From Troutman? Well, the line that was, is it, maybe it's when they're briefing Charles Napier, who's Murdoch,

about how Rambo is Indian German descent, Native American German. What is the world do we say? When did that happen? His name is Rambo. It's an Italian name. Yes, exactly. It's just so easy. Even if you want to do the Native American. I guess maybe that's a Native American name. For the tracking, that's what I

thing they were doing, I'm doing air quotes, like, you know, because he's such a good tracker, we always love to do that shit. But he's got to be Native American and Italian. But wait, Eric, does that mean you just like enjoy being confused? Because I was like, what are they fucking talking about here? I just thought it was an interesting spice

to throw into this. Well, I mean, to be fair, to be fair, my monocle did fall into my soup when that was delivered. Wait, what? It's a fun little detail. It's crazy. It's pretty crazy. But like, there's so many things that are just like, any other director forget the politics of the thing

how does he not fight Erickson? Yes how does that not happen? Who's that? Martin Cove is right there. John Chris himself is right there and this dude doesn't get to do shit in this movie. He's another Rambo you're dressing him like another rambo. Politics aside like

I like plenty of right wing movies Most action movies are one way or another. Exactly like as Craig Zoller mean. Outlawed Josie Wales Cobra also directed by George Cosman. Also, all Josie Wales written by a Klansman.

Yes. Incredible movies. Yes. I mean, superhero fiction is mostly fascist. You know what I mean? Right Miller left and right. Yeah, yes.

That's the thing. It's like the comic book movies are, it's always at a low simmer. I prefer the big, outload Josie Wales. Get a Klansman in there. You can bring the big dogs. Drag the cost concrete.

I'm not even going to bring it up. It's a great idea, dude. I still haven't seen that. The Zoller is a little much for me. He's got to dip your toes. Is my monocle falling into my soup in that movie? Every five minutes. Watch Cell Block.

So how about this, though? That'll ease you in. Drag-Rocon concrete is the hard stuff. Watch Sell Blok. Which one is with Vince Vaughn? Cell Block and Drapped Cross Concrete. Okay. So where is he more hardcore in those movies or appearing in Netflix's Nona's?

I saw that pop up and I'm dying. How can you? You watch Nonas? No, we watched the trailer and my wife was like, I don't know about that. I don't know if I'm coming back for notice. And we watched the Father of the Bride reboot, baby. You can't waste time. Don't be talking about Andrew Drupin, like he can't waste time.

But not that shit. I can't see, some of these things I need Chelsea to turn the key on because I can't watch Nona's alone. You want to hang out and watch Nona's with me? All right, if I watch it, all right, yes, I just, I need someone else in the room watch a Nona's with me. Come up, on Nona's weekends, hands. Notice party.

And then we get some sauce going. We act like a couple little Nona's. ourselves, we'll do some cooking. Oh, no, sorry, I'm Native American German. Oh, my Native American German mother, no, no. Can I bring something up? We passed it a little bit, but I don't want to lose it because Jerry Goldsmith, one of my favorite film composers, does the music for this. It is so aggressively mid-80s, though, with like the synth base.

To the point, it's, but here's where it's bad, though, when it is the do we get to win this time? That's up to you. And that's like the credit cut right oh yeah he's using this like electric base that's got distortion on it's so hardcore it just sounds like a long raspberry like yeah it was more rusted than that mattress they tied him to to electrician seriously it is the fun i was like what is this fucking fart noise on the soundtrack well wait until they drop like the the cut because it was a too provocative like marauder score they have oh oh yeah but hell yeah they He goes there and, like, yes, he meets evil Rambo.

He has to be evil Rambo. It's Martin Cove. He's already been John Crease the year before. Like, it's happened. He's a villain. You know he's not a likable guy just by the face. It would be such a great setup, right? Because it's just like, hey, I'm following orders, Rambo.

Something you don't know how to do. He's following Charles Napier around like he gives him fucking biscuits when he's good. Well, not only that, we don't even get a good fight with fucking lieutenant Russian guy. Oh, yeah. The bad guy from Beverly. Hill's top. Badovsky or something. Yes, yeah, bad guy from the first one. Stephen Burkoff. And he goes, again, like, stuff that we forget

about is like, well, Rambo, you're going to be at the most technologically advanced shoot you've ever seen and this, that, the other thing. Oops, it fell out of the helicopter. So, I mean, like, we spent this thing we built up. And there's this big computer room that is just, you need that. Which, here's the thing, Rambo does what I would do

all the time playing GoldenEye, you go into that satellite room, you're just spraying that computer consoles. I did that the other day. I did it's a little bit of fun. I was a little nervous about something. You know, those are supposed to gold and I'd shoot some people. Oh, yeah.

Come me right now. No one here is a stranger to spraying in front of their computer. No. No, not at all. But, so, you know, I love these opening shots of the muskles. Oh, yes. It's like, there's his throbbing member, I mean, arm, and then there's his kinky black boots and his big knife.

I mean, and I know Arnold movies were doing this, so it's very commando. It was an arm's race. But this is like real muscle porny here. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the whole thing. Stallone has always been way more sexualized than Schwarzenegger could ever be. That was the difference, I think, between, like, we'll get to when he's tied up

and being electrocuted and he's just, they're rippling up and down. I'm like, there were so many. Yeah, of course, like, if you're the sexiest torture you'll ever see. You're a young man. Of course, you're going to have to question some things after watching this. You're just like, whoa, okay. Can I be a prisoner. war, dad?

Just for, like, I just want to try it out. Like five minutes. Just try him for five minutes. But yes, here goes the great Charleston Apier as Murdoch. He's the pencil pusher, clearly. Yeah, he's non-military. He's just working for the government as the leader of this op. He even says, like, ah, and he's like, his thing that his big actor business, he keeps wiping his brows, like, this heatish, unbearable Rambo.

And, like, Rambo shows up wearing a sweater. And I'm like, what is going on here, man? That thing you call hell, he calls home. Well, that's what it's telling you, Charles Napier is full of shit, because he lies to Rambo about being a Vietnam veteran. He says he had like a command and all this other shit. Oh, yeah, which unit, Bell? Second battalion was an income, Tom.

Yeah, he says it to fucking Troutman later, but he should fucking say it right to this dude's face. You're full of shit, Murdoch. That's stolen value, baby. See, that's what should be the end of the movie, because Murdoch gets nothing. No. Which is bullshit.

And this is for the stolen valor three days ago. And he just stabbed him. He's not going to kill an American, right? Well, I guess he does. He does the same color as him. Fair, fair, fair. And also the idea is right, the cops and then later on as well in the sequels. Yes.

But like that's the funny thing is like, all right, we need someone to just go. Because the whole idea is it's a sham operation. Whether or not, A, the base, the camp is supposed to be empty and they know that. So they want to have, like, a good PR stunt where they take photos of an empty base. We did our due diligence. Exactly. That's the goal here. But that son of a bitch Reagan in the one house.

Let's get the most unstable man in America with PTSD and put it right back into what gave him PTSD. Peter Parker's right there. He's a photographer. Here's the thing. As Chris mentioned, they say that the computers spit out three options, right? You need the scenes of the two other guys going, nope. and go fuck yourself and then you have to go to John Rambo

They bring a dossier to Charles Manson Did you have to pull the other two out of prison too To give them to work And this is how you do it And you can actually do it and make it a cool real deal Because it's like this dude said no You have that quick scene Second dude says no you have that quick scene

And then at the end of that quick scene Murdoch and Troutman walk out of the door From guy number two And then Murdoch says Well Colonel Troutman who's number three and you cut to the fucking jail and the breaking the rock and that's how you debut him.

Second guy, Dom de Louise and they're like, but your picture here, you're so fit. It's like, well, I ain't my feelings after the war. We caught this guy doing the cannonball run twice. I gained a lot of weight that time we had to transport all that clam chowder across the country. Got addicted to meatball sandwiches.

After I left Vietnam in the Army, I made several appearances on the Tonight Show drunk. I don't know, maybe it's just me and Dom Deloese doing this. Oh, my God. Dom, you hold the camera. I'll hold a bow and arrow. Damn, that'd be so good. And I think he would allow Dom D'Lewis,

because clearly the Travolta thing is, I'm not going to get another sexy guy in here. Another sexy guy who my brother's also done music for his films. Yeah, he's staying alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Staying attuned for that. But it's like, yeah, so Rambo, you're going to go in. and you're going to have, you know, all this,

it's only going to be you, just take photographs. You're not, please, here's all these knives and weapons. Please do not kill any Vietnamese. Like, oh, yeah, sure. Yes. Absolutely. Okay, I only kill Vietnamese. No, no, no, we say, don't kill.

When I step on your foot and say, you do not kill the Vietnamese. I love it. Yeah, so he's got 36 hours to get in and out, and may I remind you, Rambo, no killing. And may I remind you, Norm Peterson, and don't drink beer. RIP, George Went. RIP, George, went. Did not see that coming.

76, man. We are recording this a few weeks earlier. That's why the current events are a little late. Not current. Drickland. Yes, exactly. I love chopping, though. All right, Rambo, you only got 36 hours.

Don't stop and smell the roses, okay? What? And by that, I mean, eat food, which he does not do in this movie. He never, like... He never stops to eat. Like, I don't know, a handful of berries or something. Protein bar. I would just probably be...

Protein bar. An American soldier needing food to... No, no. I won't hear that. We see him get dressed. It's the sexiest thing in the universe. Yes. And the sexiest, dude, knife guys love this movie.

You have a boner for this knife. Yep. Oh, abs. Because he is sexily and greasily sharpening this knife. And it's kind of funny because it's like... It's kind of like my big dick, actually. Oh, absolutely. They cut between all the, like, computer stuff getting all ready to go.

And then it's like, this is all I need. My knife and my boots. Because he also, you get the lace and I. up in the boots. Oh, yeah. All very nice and greased. And to sit, I forget who was Steve or Eric brought up him wearing the sweater. You, lube was not as readily available at the time.

To keep it glistening. You have to be sweating at all time. That's right. You have to really build it up. So once you rip that fucker off, give me my lube shirt and put me in. But yes, Martin Cove is the helicopter pilot. This is this other blonde guy.

Who does, who also needs to die? This dude, it's insane that this guy, all he exists for is to be an asshole the Rambo and hold a gun to his head. This guy never appeared in another movie after this. He's a total ghost. I got no idea what's going on, but he deserved to die very least you got to abandon these people in the jungle or something. Yes. I see how you like. Now you try these problems, baby. Or even they like, you know, we want to, we've turned, changed our mind. We're going to fucking go help Rambo and oh no, I got shot in an action

scene as opposed to like just more Vietnamese people being mowed down by Rambo. I've floated like by Rambo. That's why I gave this. three stars in letterbacks because there's chunks I love Joe there are chumps there are chunks in this man yeah extra half star for chunks love them chunks um but Murdoch here another clue that he's full of shit

he's like uh he says to Troutman at the end of this sequence here he's like wasn't my war colonel I'm just doing the cleanup operation like oh okay then and so Rambo says to Troutman right before he gets on the chopper he's like look he was full of shit about his credentials

you're the only one I trust I said, trust no one. We also are just taking a real long time to get back to Vietnam. We sure are. We're just flying on this plane for a while. And this is where in other movies, including the expendables, there's a lot of, like, we're chatting with the other guys on the plane and getting to know the situation a little bit.

This is all complete dead silence. Nobody's saying anything. And then it's hysterical. So Rambo has to, like, the plan is jump out of this plane, parachute into the area. It gets fucked up. And he's hanging off the side of it, like a knock-off Tom Cruise thing. And I'm like, dude, you so desperately are trying to not start this movie.

Let him get to Vietnam. This moron can't even jump out of a plane ride. It snagged, a snag. And this is a thing that causes him to lose all of his fancy equipment. So why did we even talk about it? It's so dumb. He takes out his big, huge cock knife. And he starts cutting the rope.

Yeah, knify. And you think, like, he's just going to cut himself loose. I think it's an intentional thing. thing, he's like, not going to need you computer equipment. And just let's that fly off into the jungle, and then he goes, not going to need you, John Travolta supply. No, think.

There goes, Jan Travolta falling to the earth. A possible rematch with Co. There's going to go. Oh, geez, I'm dying over here. No. Take that wise cracking computer. It hasn't been recovered yet. Yeah, they don't recover for the rest of the movie, but it's

unfortunate. It's fallen in enemy hands. So he finally gets in And I do love Seeing John Rambo in this black Like skydiving suit is very weird Better get out of this as quickly as possible The movie audience might not recognize me

No it's me He does grab a snake comes after he grabs it Oh yes Because he's in Thailand right here I mean yes And that's here's the more of the I like the homeroticism of this Of this muscle men

Just like stroking off this snake in the jungle Well, that's the most interesting part of it to me, because, like, why not build that up? If we're not going to have him fucking a fight against the, what's his name? Martin Cove. If you're not going to do that movie, at least do this movie for me. Where he's stroking things. Yeah, I'm sure. Where he's stroking things, and he's just muscle-bound and glistening everywhere.

To get out of this camp, I better give everyone hand-jubs. Yes, oh, man. Get stroking. Lime. Hey, director, George Cosmetus. Is that you or the snake? Oh, why you want to break my heart Oh, why you want to break my heart

Wainsworth, anybody see it? Great booty. I am aiming for Kenneth Onger's John Rambo. That's what I want. That is really what I want. He'd never leave the base. Oh, you know, it's a good thing I brought all these bananas to eat. Sure.

You know, it's so good for you in the morning. We should say that, of course, Murdoch immediately wants to abort the whole operation. Troutman's like, look, we just blocked off all this time. We blocked off the 36 hours. Might as well let him use it. If he's alive, cool, if he's dead, whatever. But it's also like, what else is this

unit doing other ones? There's so many people. Catching some rays. I guess so. Like, there's so many people who are just milling around this space. Doing nothing. American imperialism for you. We have people milling around in every country, basically. We learned a lot from Forrest Gump. Some were learning to play

ping pong. No, the right answer is they are all awaiting fucking the hand of death, aka John Rambo, but they fucked the movie up. They didn't do the movie. So instead, you got fucking John Rambo out there with bananas and hot dogs and he's about to fight the

fucking Vietnam, the leftover Viet Cong, I guess. So he is jogging through this jungle and this is like the happiest that John Rambo looks in any Rambo movie. He's back in Vietnam. It's like he's returning to his old high school

football field. If there was a fat guy John Candy, he's like, back in the saddle again. Like Angela Bassett after the divorce and waiting to exhale. Get the hair going. I really. Oh, that's a village. No, I'm not going to burn it down yet.

You've got another day to live. I drive down the holiday rule. He should become like a warlord there, right? You have to pay me tribute, village. Well, doesn't that, it's kind of what he becomes when we meet him in that 2008. Rambo, he's been living there. He's a boatman.

Yes, yes. Here's a question, because Rambo does go back to America, as we know, in the last, last blood, which is a movie I barely remember. Because that's the tail end of 08 is like the long shot of him walking into a farmhouse. Now, is it to kill these migrants. Did he? That's what the movie is about. Last Blood, an actual plot thread of Last Blood.

And thinking about John McCain, who was part of that congressional commission, who did that all that stuff. And he was literally captured by the Vietnam. Five years he was a prisoner. And they used their bargaining chip. Didn't keep them for 20 years for no reason. Exactly. He was returned to us for better and for worse. And the question is, did Rambo? Not Sylvester Dolby. No, the other than answers alone. Did Rambo vote for Trump after making fun of his Vietnam service? And I bet he did. 100%. Well, you know, I like, I really do appreciate vets and POWs, but I really do hate Mexicans more, honestly. I mean, this is the way I'm going to, and, uh, man, that's a plus. He believes in America.

He says it all the time. I vote with my hate heart, not my love heart. Why would someone saying something into a microphone lie? She never says that America's the best. He does. At least he's truthful. You see, that's different. Me and John McCain, we're both captain.

I guess that does make me a loser by his actual estimation. But, yeah, I'm a loser. You're right, Mr. Daddy Trump. I'll be honest. I like being dumbed. That's the only person that could take down those flags, right? That's like Nixon opening up China. Like, take down those flags, sir.

He doesn't know what they're for. That's true. So he's walking around. We're sort of stalking a mysterious person in a farmer head here in the jungle. and uh-oh it turns out to be a lady he's about to fucking stab her in the throat which he's been in vietnam 30 seconds the first person he had yeah i got the bug baby i got to get back to business she's the contact for him and like was he briefed on that did he know that there was a contact i didn't i didn't i didn't hear that i think we got briefed as much as john rambo was briefed

we saw all the briefing uh opportunities and that was it well i'm listening to the sad trick to stay in a line during the whole briefing this is julian nixon is co forgot that she's in this movie I wish she did more honestly I think she's pretty good here quite the looker IMO pretty lady here you know and like she kind of becomes this like

sidekick and also sort of love interest very sort of I mean very because of it just just laugh at it would have been I think probably down if things had gone differently it actually sucks so hard because in those moments like you can see he sort of is like flash forwarding

to a different time of his life like Maybe I could find out. Oh, she's Swiss cheese? Oh, never mind. I'll put all these little pigs in these little jails. And they just stay there all day. And it's a life, farm and life. So she's like, you know, you've come a long way to look at empty camps.

And he's like, well, we'll see about that. She has gotten in business here with some pirates to take them down river here. Pirates. He seems really scared of pirates. He used it. Pupaboo Pirates. I saw them on Scooby-Doo. They're mostly a ghost.

It did seem like it was specifically like if you wanted to hire like a band of like notorious child killers, he'd be like, okay, that's okay. Pirates? If I see a tricorder head, I'm going to flip out. One wooden leg and I will throw up all over the boat. Dave a prank!

Dave a prank! A vest you, ladies, and they just like speak Vietnamese. What the fuck's this guy talking about? Hardy, har, har, har, am I right, pirate, fellow pirate? Joe, ho, ho, in a bottle of rib. I don't have any rum to bother with, but... Well, you mean we don't have a chest of gold.

We're fucked. We're fucked. Cho, wait a minute, before we get on the ship, can you find me an eye patch to put on? But the shifty captain is taking them down the river. Excuse me, I haven't been assigned to parrot yet. I saw a little monkey somewhere. Can we get him?

Can we get him to come over? There was like a half a second, I should say. of a potential, the threat of sexual violence. Oh, of course. And it's exterminated not by Rambo getting in there, just by co-being like, fuck off. Yeah, that's not bad. Couldn't believe that

that happened in this movie. But so she says, like, so, or Rambo says, hey, so what about, like, boats coming the other way, boats looking for us, what do we do about that? This dude opens this chest, and there is a Soviet issue rocket launcher inside. Yeah, man. Like, oh, I will

bookmark you for later. And, uh, all remember who the real enemy is. They're always going to Vietnam. They cared so much about Vietnam. They were always going there. And they're having a moment here. And apparently she's been, you know, war to war and like just been like this intelligence agent forever.

Like, you know, kind of losing her humanity. And she's like, what's your deal? And he's like, I'm here because I'm expendable. Oh, dude. My ears perked right up. I had seen this in a while and I was like, expand a what? Don't they actually play this? at the beginning of one of the movies.

Is that true? What? When I was an actor back in the day, look at this. No, I don't think they played this. There's some, maybe it was the trailer for one of them. That would make sense. Maybe, but like it was very clear, like him be like, I'm expendable. And like, there's the expendable.

Which he also does a word he doesn't know. She's like, what does expendable mean? And he doesn't know the answer because he never, nobody fucking dies in those movies. Randick Cotour makes to the end of the fucking ninth movie. It is insane that toll road. It's still alive. Oh, yeah, baby.

Expendables for... They get there, right? And, like... To survive a war, you got to become a war. What? What? What? What are you talking about?

I don't know. There was a lot of drafts of this script. It's pretty confusing. Do you have multiple person... What? Why don't? I heard that of this pretty cool podcast. I was listening to you.

There is a great moment where he's talking with Coe on the boat, and he's like, oh, well, you got a new neck there. And she's got this little, like, necklace. and she's like, oh, it brings me good luck or whatever. And he goes, or she says, what brings you good luck? Dude, he just slowly whips out the huge knife once again. It's like, I have one love language, and it is nice. It's weird.

I used to have one of those necklace dinghies, but it had all these ears on it. You know what? It's weird. Whenever I feel like inferior or insecure, I just look at the knife. I feel so much better. I think it moved. I can't believe I wasn't selected to be a universal soldier. I would have been the best

I would have been a I would have been a galaxy soldier I would have been the best soldier Well apparently If I'm to be this to be believed Well all right What are you called? You drop in trivia?

Dolf Lungren was cast as the The number two Russian guy Biggie or whatever Yeah And he was gonna But then Stalot was like I think he is also cashed in By other movie Rocky Part 4

Also coming out this year And like they're like They had to pay his contract they're like, I guess we cashed you twice in the same movie. That is the easiest money that dude ever made. That brilliant. I also want to, I imagine like

Dahl, uh, what he called? Stallone met Lundgren like five times like on the set of this movie. He's like, that guy seems familiar. And it keeps along as he said, South Lundgren. It just, I swear I heard it before. Yeah, so I finally met him on the

set today and, uh, yeah, he didn't recognize me. And he was kind of crazy, man, because we met, like, multiple times discussing the ins and outs of his cool movie, Rambo First Blood Part 2, and now look, just kind of weird. That's all. It's nice to meet you. I'll show you're doing an interview. See, look what I, look what I deal with on the set of Rocky 4. But we have fun, though. We do. I think I subsequently have worked with this, man, multiple times.

I just, like, I think I spent months with this guy, like, doing seeds and stuff. Expendo who? Yeah, exactly. He keeps forgetting who Dolph Lundgren is. So he keeps getting to be in the movie. Like, Dolf, didn't your character get killed in the last one? I don't remember him in the last movie, man. Look, I wrote these things.

I think I would remember a Dolf Ludgren. No, Al Pacino was in those. Oh, man. He was in those movies. He was in the Expendables. That's the next step. You fucking wheel that dude out in Expendables 5. Get him to yell one line.

That's the end of it. That'd be great. The churny, like, as Churny is to Mission Impossible Al Pacino is to the expendable. Sure. So they go to the camp and she's like, look, it's an empty camp

and then like all these dudes are there and he's like, well, what about all these dudes? Were you actually looking at this or were you just lying insane you did? Because there's clearly like 40 dudes here. Oh my god, they're lied. How? Again? Oh, wait, wait, ooh, they're covered in spiders.

I gotta go home. They cut back at one point, and Troutman's like, hey, Murdoch, like, it's bullshit that you, you know, want to do abort this mission, blah, blah, we got to go save Rambo, he could still be alive. We should go to the extraction point. And Murdoch is like, well, all right, if you want to, if you want the extraction to happen, you lead the team. And it's this great, he has his feet up on the desk, Charles Napier does, as Murdoch. He's drinking an ice cold American Coca-Cola and eating a peanut butter and jelly sauce. sandwich. Dude, he might as well be fucking farting red, white and blue. He's got the big cigar too. Oh, and the big onlit cigar absolutely. You know, as right wing as this movie can be, at least it does take that stance. Yes. And it's all about like

money, Murdox, like, you know, it's all about like the financials. Like we didn't pay them like reparations or something. So like if we did to get these guys back, these forgotten ghosts, he says, that's when that's when Troutman is like, they're human beings.

I'm sorry to get ahead of ourselves. But, like, as right wing as it is, there is an interesting political plan on it. It does cut an interesting. It hates the deep state. Well, yeah, yeah, exactly. But, yeah, they get into the camp and you see, like, the lady of the night rides up on the motorbike, and that's like the general's entertainment for the evening and whatever. I love this shot.

It's in a couple seconds when Stallone is underneath the floorboards watching them have sex. Oh, dude, you just see those little pervert eyes looking up? They have a weird term for this cyclo-hore or something like that? No, no. She's, it's a co-line, so she's doing like broken English, and she says, cycle girl whore from village is what she calls her. Yeah. Russ Myers, cycle girl, whore from village.

Restored in 4K by Vinegar Syndrome. I saw that in a driving. Oh, my God, is that Jack Nicholson? That was the first time I saw Charles Napier. I said, you've got to be in Rambo, too. He was put his head between these two huge jugs in the movie. He was the stiff, though, in that one. He was more of kind of like a dean type.

Yeah, the college dean, man, the snooty dean. They took everything Miranda had. Now she's just cycle whore from Village. I hope they get that crusty old Dean, so she doesn't have to be Cycle Horror from Village. With Bruce Dern as Detective Johnson. Yeah, Detective Johnson here, yes. Hey, man, it's Detective Johnson. I was schmucking a J and the cycle whore girl drove by.

So then I took my schmuck out. I just waggled. You know, I'm an investigator. There's the great, he's got his bow and arrow ready to go. And she's like, what are you doing? And he's like, New Orders Co. You know. Yes.

I think there's no more orders. Oh, no more orders. Is that what it is? Yeah. Listen, I've been talking, you're actually a very surprisingly nice Vietnamese person, but I've been, I've been ready to kill the Vietnamese for months and years. I'm going to talk to you like a Vietnamese restaurant after 8 p.m. No more orders. Oh, I love it.

They sneak in the village. There's a great, he almost gets caught by that dude swinging the door open. after what I can only imagine is the mightiest of shit. Oh, yeah. Well, that dude is taking his shit. Look out below. He should take some time to refresh himself in there while he's snooping around, you know? Reaply the oil, you mean?

Yeah, put on that sweater for a second. I'm dry him out. It's got to get glistening again. I would just be happy to see a bathroom. And I guess, because, I mean, like, the reason you outhouse or no. Where's it going? Oh, right there. Oh, okay.

Yeah. The reason you would. Oh, he's like, oh, that's where the shit. Oh, that's where the shit. It is right there. It falls right on the POWs. Why buy the clothes in the door? The reason you would have American POW is still, you know, nine years after the war,

whatever many years it would be, would be as a bargaining chip with the United States, you would be like actively trying to get, like, you know, you would go to the media and let them know. The idea that they're there for slave labor and they're crucifying these dudes for no reason. It seems like just torture. It's just torture. No, it can't be labor because they're all like sick. They're feeding them for nothing. The one dude visibly has the plague, okay?

That guy can't be working in the fucking sugar cane field. Which made sense again. Look, they treated American fucking POWs poorly when the war was going on. But now family ties is on the air, and these dudes aren't in shape to be working the fields. I mean, can you blame them? I mean, they lost the Vietnam War. They have to take out their anger somewhere. The resentment has to go somewhere.

For sure. He does, yeah, he comes upon this cage with all these dudes. And the one guy who's, like, main P-O-W, who the whole time I was just calling Rickety Cricket, he looks exactly like Rickety Cricket from Sonny. Yeah, it's just a bit. Or, who's that guy? What's his name?

David Hornsby. Is that his name? That is the actor's name. Oh, David Hornsby's Rickety Crick. Oh, David Hornsby is Riggily Crickie. Is it Jason Fleming? Is that the guy in League of Extraordinary Gentleman, who's Dr. Jekyll?

Yeah, he sort of has a Jason Fleming thing going on a little bit, too. He's very skinny, but he is being crucified like Wolverine in the cover. Yes, it's been 185 or something like. And they, that's what sets Remba off, because he hasn't killed anybody yet. He sees this dude like hung, strung out to dry. He frees him and then he just starts arrowing people.

And it's been fucking 40 minutes. I'm like, fuck it, I know. Jacks a knife through this dude's heart. I paused it, 34 minutes. Wow. And I'll tell you, this is like the subtle, we're quietly killing people because we don't want to get caught, you know, that kind of shit.

Stealth kill. I love that. Stealth video game mode kind of thing. But then like what you really want, you want that Rambo freak out one hour until the first official Rambo freak out actually. Well, because they still kind of think it's like that's what drives you insane. It's like why not be, if you're going to be trashy,

just doing it. Exactly. God damn. He don't put lipstick on a pig here. He should be fighting dudes in the first scene. He's in prison. Oh, yes. The stupid prison. Good call, actually. That's a great call. Because then he's starting. It's like, oh, remember Rambo?

He's back and he's beat, people. I think that's my dinner roll you took? Exactly. There's some duty looks like, you know, W.W.E.'s Paul White. Yes. The giant, you know, and then Rambo beats the shit out of him. Little tiny Rambo.

Hey, Mr. Mansion. I think that's my dinner roll. He just beats up Charles Vance. He starts the movie by murdering Charles Vance. Oh, fuck, that'd be great. Now I'm writing Helter Skellter in his blood. I am sick and, tired of this shitty, out-of-tune

acoustic guitar. You're going down, baby. I've got this, you know, I've made friends here. You know, I got this, but this is Dieter? He wants to fly? Oh, dude, of those two cross paths, that would be a weird movie. That would make me very happy.

So, yeah, a lot of killing here. Arrow through Spotlight guy's head, which is a good one. Yeah. Coe gets shot, or she's about to get shot, Rambo gets this dude right in the That's a good one. It's a knife through the head.

Yes. I always love a, it just seems really difficult to get a knife through skull. Oh, definitely, yeah. But with those rippling. Oh,

that's why you really want the biceps like that is so that you can get through the bone. Yeah, exactly, easily, yeah. We see a little bit more of this. It's like breaking a coconut. You ever try to do one of those? It's hard as hell.

In the ass. We see a little bit of this general. I think the towel is the name they go with here. It's that character, George Chung, who is actually like, he's been in a ton of shit, Like, just familiar face kind of guy.

Like, if you look at his IMDB, a lot of TV, a lot of, like, one-offs on different movies and stuff here and there. And apparently a lot of, they had difficulty finding people to play the Vietnamese. Well, because you're shooting in Mexico. Yes. That'll be part of the problem. Great show from last year, The Sympathizer, based on an awesome book. That is the HBO show. So Robert Downey Jr.

Yeah. Oh. It's so fucking good. HBO did their best to make you forget about it. Dude, it was like my fucking mother coming to see one of our. sketch shows they were embarrassed by it they fucking hid and you got our dj and it was a parktown walkder yes it's an amazing

series it's based on two really great books also uh the sympathizer and the collaborator i think the second one is or something like how long was this it was like an eight episode thing okay it's it's good it's really good but it's like part of it is they they hire this guy who was a uh who was a a a v a and Kong officer who's pretending not to be in America to be a technical advisor on a Vietnam movie

and it's like there's so much great Hollywood shit in that movie that's RDJ playing that year? No, no, he's like, it's kind of interesting because there's like a series of white guys that like lead him through his adventures

and RGGA plays all of them. Oh, that's kind of cool. It's a great show that HBO does not want you to know about. The new Park Chan-Wuk. Yes. If you will. And that was like, nah, fuck it.

So has it been like flushed off platform at this point? No, it's still there. It's still there. It's still there. It might be. Yeah, this one's going out to our friends at the IRS. Well, to be fair, I forget who

had it, but they did the same thing with Park Jamooke's other, uh, the little his version of the little drummer girl. They just completely fucking put it out and closed the door. It wasn't them. I think it was AMC, maybe who did that one. I don't even know that it existed. Exactly. Like, they fucking well, you better check your AMC Plus for

commercial breaks. Park Janouc Duke directed a John LaCare adaptation. and nobody knows about it starring Floreth Pugue. This is the first I'm hearing about this. Wow. With Michael Shannon and Alexander Sartharck. Forget secret movies. This is secret shows.

Advertise your products. Also, don't copyright strike random YouTubers and whoever else that want to play your trailers. Because let's let people know about your fucking product. The novels were the sympathizer and the committed both by Viettaan win great books. Oh, I like that.

So this prisoner, like, one of the things Rambo's asking him, like, you know, how long you've been here? Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, actually, they move us around a lot. The last time we were here was a year. And then this guy, this is crazy. He's like, by the way, what year is it? And Rambo just goes, 1985. And this dude is like, fuck.

Like, you can see the look on his face of like, so how many years have I lost now? Doc, I thought it was 1955. Sorry, Marty. We're going back to Vietnam. I got to take these Vietnam vets back to see Star Wars and theaters. They missed it. They're not going to understand culture, Marty. It's a primer.

My God, they missed all three, Marty. They missed all three at this point. They won't understand the language, Marty. They don't understand what a lightsaber is. I don't even know what a Tuvaca is. They can't watch our movie before they understand the blockbuster. They won't understand humor. They won't understand jokes.

Oh, my God. Both Godfather has just gone, a race for existence. They've never seen them. Actually, you know what? I'm going to stay here in Vietnam and run camp nowhere. These kids These kids in Vietnam vets are staying put And it's a new Hollywood night

Every night We got little American kids And little Vietnamese kids And everybody's making wallets It's a camp nowhere Surf's up or whatever I say in that movie These have to be on the streets of Hong Kong in 1950

I'm taking the time of sheet with them Oh I love that Now you're fucking good Then I'll invest in a bank And I'll be a billionaire Oh hell yeah dude they don't have all the money to make the time machine in the first place. See how that works?

Is your brain falling out of your head yet? It's a paradox, smarties. So the extraction of this one dude is successful. They get back to the riverboat guy, back to safety, going back up river. Uh-oh, this dude sold them out. Huge surprise. It's because Troutman's on the helicopter. They're right there. They see him. Yeah. They're nearly on the ground. You're talking about the pirates, right?

Oh, I'm sorry, the pirate. Yeah, first it's the pirates. Yes, right. They're trying to get back. to like wherever they're going to be and this is just the awesome like okay like you two jump off the boat now because the pirates do like start to attack Rambo kills

them all with shotgun stuff is pretty good and he's like little knives using the first one dude totally yeah like that's like a thing like Gambit would have pull out of his fucking back pocket I'm sorry but better that than a circle of sharks that's true they will chomp you up

this is actually a pretty good little action no it's great it's awesome like I really like this and then it's like he gets he gets uh co and the the poe to jump off the boat and swim to shore this is all like kicking off because the patrol boats coming to them and the pirates sold them out i feel like this is where the simpsons gets a lot of that early like everything explodes joke because like the boat exploding is fucking hilarious yeah the boat exploding is really great i've always thought uh one of the main offenders of that was i think it's the third death wish movie okay where it is it's literally like a car that gets like a bump

Boom. But this could definitely be part of it. I always wonder, because a lot of the Skinner Vietnam stuff is, of course, apocalypse now. Yeah. But I feel like there's a little of this movie in that too. But yeah, he takes that fucking Soviet rocket launch out and just wipes this boat off the fucking river. Then we get this nice, like, ticking clock because one of the surviving pirates gets him in a noose. And then the patrol boat, which is on fire, careening towards them.

Yes. And he has to like maneuver knifey in a way to stab this guy in the chest. and get out of there just in time. It's great. And I really like, I don't know if, I don't think it's Stallone. It's Stallone stunt double going off the side of the, it's like a bad dive. It's like, if you were watching that, like that happened at a pool during a backyard barbecue, you'd be like, Jesus Christ, does Uncle Jeff all right?

Which is sort of interesting in the, the fucking Ardold and Stallone feud of the 80s and early 90s and the mid-90s, whatever. It was never about stunts, which is sort of interesting, because now it's all like, Everybody's doing their own stunts, like Tom Cruise is doing his own stunts and like... And who else? I mean like, Florence Pugh did the big jump

at the beginning of Thunderbolts. We were talking about the Fountain of Youth and John Grisinski's like, oh, I did this stunt, I did that. It's kind of become part of the language about I did these stunts as opposed to the stunt guy. And like back then it was just like, well, I'm too beautiful to do this.

You know what I mean? And it makes sense, obviously, you don't want to set the production back, all that stuff. But it's sort of interesting that that was not part of this macho pissing contest. Yeah, I mean, because the Arnold stuff like Arnold actions...

He doesn't doubles, yeah. Yeah, like all the doubles. And it's like, you know, that was a whole cottage industry. You got a bunch of beefcakes that have to be like as big as Arnold to do all those stuff. That's true.

I'm like of two minds of it. Because of that, you employ a lot of beef cakes and otherwise to be... They're going to come home with America to spits on them. It would just be at hair salons, helping out.

Protein powder, sure. You need your protein powder? I'll have this one today. So Coe is like... So, I'm... So isn't it, don't the boats just run into each other? Yes, they do. He jumps.

Oh, the bazookas later. Comes in very, he uses the bazooka to shoot the boat to set it on fire. There's two bazookas. There's so many bazookas, honestly. It's a different, it's a different bazook, rocket launcher, whatever. Okay, okay. He uses one to get the dude so they stop firing, but the boat is on fire and he's about

to jump off. And then the dude with like the garret wire starts choking him. Yeah. And the flaming boat is going to ram the rambo. And then they ram and then we get the, yes. And then there's more. jumps off, it explodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then Coe is like, all right, well, this is where we part ways or whatever,

because Troutman and Martin Cove and everybody are coming in the helicopter. They're three minutes out. And this is where they're, like, running through the sugar cane field. And this, just all these dudes just opening fire on them as they're trying to run through here. And again, this is like gleeful rambo, like, I'm back, back into Vietnam groove. Do do, do, do, do, do, do running for my life of you know. I love that sound. You know, bullets, weird, whizding.

You know, I'm not going to sing the rest of that song because, by modern standards, they get dicing. But then there's a, like, they're pulling up in the helicopter. Do you have trout when he goes, Christ, he found one? Yes. And that's what sets what's his face, Murdoch off. He's like, that's it, abort the mission, abort the, we can't, we will leave, we are America gleefully leaving these men behind because that's what we do. Dragonfly, this is Coach One. Oh, Coach One, dude.

I love Coach one. Get like seven feet above the ground. Yeah, really? Get a good cock tease on these guys. You were in high school, right? You know, you do the thing where you open the door for your friend that you drive off a little bit, do you make them chase you a little bit? I fell victim to that.

Nothing gets your blood boiling faster. You wish you had that bazooka. Yeah, dude. Then we'll see what your fucking car is like. Good friend of mine. They fly away and like... You goddamn mercenaries! He's fucking yelling at him.

Yes. No, that's Troutman called the mercenary. Yes, you're right. It is a Troutman line. Which is also weird. Yeah. Because he sees Troutman. And later in the movie, like when he is about to siege this camp, the actual American camp, he's like, but Troutman's cool. I'm like, how do you know that?

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, because he's like, he knows somewhere inside him that like Troutman would never do him dirty. So Troutman must have also had the wool pulled over his eyes. Is Troutman the only person on this mission, you moron, Rambo? God damn it. And this is when like Troutman actually has a. a good line here to Murdoch that like it was a lie

like the whole war oh yeah there we go something I'll think it sure a little something little pillow because as the war is said now we lost a lie but yeah so gun guy in the helicopter

like pulls a gun on Troutman and they've you know cove flies the helicopter back up that's a bad guy pulling a gun on a good guy and my movie math means that guy needs to be an unfortunate and especially an older good guy like an Obi-Wan Kenobi type. Precisely.

And, like, you know, if Troutman is still standing at the end of the movie, which he is, movie logic suggests that Troutman is the one to either you preferably lay the death blow

or at least give him a good punch and knock his lights out. Steve's point, like, Obi-Wan, just cut his arm off. Yeah, exactly. That was a guy that bumped into him at a bar.

Oh, dude, you don't want to fucking touch that old bad. There's a fucking American Legion. He was getting bashed over the head with exclusively bottles of Mick Light. I remember when we came back from the clone while everyone was spitting on us They were actually

Order 66 What we were doing We were just living in Elks club I love this great shot though Of Rambo They're just surrounded by the dudes Like coming up on all sides Which is pretty cool

But it's one of those things We're like based upon what happens At the end of this movie Why is this something that would make you surrender Just keep going Just keep killing to you You've got the invincibility code on dude Just keep going

Right yeah I guess in that moment, it's like, well, to my north, to myself, do my east and to my west, guns down, I am fully surrounded. He gets dumped into a pool here. He sure does. A pool. A pool of shit. It's a shit pool.

It's a shit pool. Yeah, I was going to say. Weird idea. This is not a deep-seeded psychological sexual thing for me. But I just do it's right down the bus. I was like, you know in this scene when he's just being tortured? What if he goes into a shit pool? And here's what it is, right?

There's a cool little bamboo pipe coming out of the back of the outhouse. And every time a big fat soldier takes a big fat shit, it dribbles down into the shit pool and the shippool rises. I just love him, like, pitching this to, like, the Rambo Seaport. And the shit is going to be dripping down, you understand, into, we're going to get plop shots is what we're going to get. And honestly, because I believe in this project so much, I'm okay with real shit. I'm okay with real shit. Oh, no, yeah. No, fly in the real stuff.

Yeah. I would even, I would take, I would be off, I would offer Stallone turds. Actual turds from the ass of Sylvester Stallone. He's a great. He's a homemade. I save him anyway. Also pay no attention to my huge erection. They also glisten, much like the chest.

The movie tries to have a little bit of class with this shit torture, if only because they were able to hold back the desire to have fly buzzing sound effects because that's the one thing that would super confirm like you know not only is it shit but it stinks oh yeah and here kind of want those oh release the fly sound I'm going to make my own edit

of this movie he would be covered in them like you wouldn't be able to see John Rambo he would be covered in flies I even wore a hundred pound beer to bees for that woman well call me the lord of flies here come the Soviets who are the actual villains of the movie, about 55 minutes

in or whatever it is. Absolutely. This is, yes, Stephen Birkhoff as Podowski, this guy, yes, Beverly Hills cop, he's the main villain in the first one. He's one of the detectives in Clockwork Orange, like the dude, you know, he got around, so yeah, this is introduced and this is good face. This is, yeah, he's got a good

face for this. Oh, he's also, he plays a Soviet villain. He's like a heavy in Octopus he has another Soviet turned. Completely forgot. But, yeah, this is the, we got you interrogated here. I would love it actually, because again, this guy was supposed to be Dolph Leonard and, like, Stallone's in the pool,

and he's like, oh, fuck, is that Dolph-Logrid shit? George, I hate to do, I would have called Cut right now. We cast him twice in the same way. Yeah, I know, I know I don't you, I know I kept telling you to keep me up, keep me up, but I got I would be taken down now. I need to be taken, this is going to be a problem. This other heavy here, the other Russian heavy, totally gets a fucking back punch in on Rambo right here to make him sit.

Down, oof, a lower back punch. Yeah, he's going to need a pillow. Rough stuff. But you have cleaned up. There's a cool scene with the leeches I like. The Birkhoff is like cutting the leeches off Stallone's body. Oh, yeah. Rough stuff.

But Burkhoff's whole thing here is like, okay, so what you're going to do is get on the radio. Tell your dudes that you've been captured and not to come looking for you. And that's going to be the end of this. Yeah, I do love that line too that he has. That's like, you were trying to facilitate the release of war criminals held by this Republic. Yeah. Ooh.

Yeah. Got your ass, motherfucker. And your capture was embarrassing. It was. Well, I mean, you were in a pool

of shit. Let us not forget. And not just, I don't want to under, there's piss and vomit in there too, more than likely. He tells him,

like, to call, like on the radio that he has got to say that he's condemning this act of espionage and that any other attempts would meet his end. Yeah,

don't come looking for me. They're going to kill us all. Fuck you. Dude, and that's great, because he's silent. through this whole scene and that's fuck you. Oh,

awesome. You're going to use a big fuck you in 1985. That's the one, right? You got like, he can't just be cursing through this movie. Right, yeah, then I'm going to let him do that. Well, they've got tied up to this bed of like electricity thing. It's a metal box spring. I see. Yeah. And it's kind of like, yeah, you're

electric. This is better than the lethal weapon battery torture, I think. By much. Oh, this, it's much easier. It's full body. Much easier to jerk off to this. I'll say that much right off the back. You get a nice constant flow through your whole body. And Mel Gibson, man, looks great in Let's, you know, don't shit a shitter.

But like, this is something else. It's a full body shock. You see these fucking things. And he did put the sweater on before this because this shit looks great. Dude, he's glistening and it's weird. I think I just, I think I just invented cum good. Wow. Do we shit?

Do we have it? Yes. That is. It's the first cum gutter. Oh, my dear. Oh, my God. So Co rides up on a motorcycle. She's pretending to be a lady of the night from the village here to sneak in. Pretty cool move. Pretty awesome that she came back for Rambo. Cycle horror from Village 2.

Yes, the next seedy Roger Carman Tail with Dick Miller as Army Sergeant. You gotta suck my dick, aren't you? You gotta suck my dick, huh? Hey, get sucking, psycho whore. This is my village now. Cycle whores. Roger Corman's cycle whores. Coming this summer.

What was the one we did a million and a half years ago? Young cycle girls. Young cycle girls. But also psychomania was a psychomania was a motorcycle movie. That was on the main feed. Cycle horror. Well, they were both in the main field at the time. That was a side-orderer.

Young cycle media. Young cycle girls was, I believe, the first side order of sleeves. Yeah, which is quite a side order of sleuth. Oh, dude, it's a sleazy asses. Quite something. That was one of those. Should we be talking about this movie? And a lot of people said, no. You should.

Released on 4K by Vinegar's in. And also, the, the Vietnam Vet one in the woods. Oh, with Bruce Glover. Yeah, that one. Oh, kill crazy. That was. Oh, they recently came out with a Blu-ray of it. Of course. Yeah. Oh, really? Not watched it yet, but that's a good reminder to get on. Dude, cool, that's a classic country.

gets tortured in that one, am I wrong, right or else? Yes, Burt Ward gets tortured in that one, yeah. Yeah, I think it's some like anal stuff, isn't it? I thought they're like shoving shit up there. I think it's the deliverance riff with Bert Ward. Yeah, watch, Bert Ward's prostate get destroyed. Same body type. I mean, that's a, that's a Ned Beatty body type right there.

But that is the class, that's a most dangerous game movie. Yes, yes, yes. But so, yeah, he's, she, like, goes in and like, you, it's kind of a cool, a cool shot where like you don't know who the the prostitute is and then look it's oh it's co and you know exactly what you see you're walking yeah and it's looking she doesn't say anything but it's looking around like now where could John Rambo be

and you hear the fucking electricity go off and the lights and the whole campers like flickering it's oh he must be that one I do love that's great by the way good job and like maybe in a draft she was supposed to save him but not in this movie because

he's getting out anyway and then like she but she definitely shoots the that has the gun, though. There's no way he's getting out of there alive without her. We should also say that this other guy,

rickety cricket, will call him, is brought in like, you know, basically, oh, you don't care about your own body. If you don't do this, we'll kill this guy.

Because we have had... Gouch his eye with his white hot knife. We've had John Rambo Jr., the knife, heating over some coals. For days, it seems, for a while.

I mean, it's like the first thing that this fucking Russian does when he gets in there, he takes the knife and he puts it. And then, because that thing is heating before we're doing the metal box spring torture

So he's letting that really warm up And it's like all right So that didn't work What if we like sort of cut your eye With this a little like cut your cheek Rambo barely flinches And then it's like all right We're going to gouge out rickety crickets eyeball

Oh he's an Ethan Hunt type Okay so you just kill his Kill his friends and you actually kill him Yep exactly I do love the put it in his eye It's fucking awesome But now all three of us are getting getting free here. Yep,

with it, the do it and the big, you know, Stallone hits the two guys. She shoots the dude with the gun. He does the radio transmission. Oh, right, yes. Murdoch like, I'm coming to get you. I'm coming to get you. It's the middle of this movie. Oh, yeah, here it comes. Charles Napier is going to get his shit shoved in. Oh, it's going to

be great, isn't it? It's so awesome because you have Murdoch on the other, because he's like, Murdoch. And then he's like, oh, wow, John Rambo. We're so glad you're alive. Yeah, I go by Coach 1 on the radio. You're supposed to do it. it right are your knuckles rippling right now over now you didn't say over this new cb radio is great isn't it rambo um cuby to get you oh then he does all this shit and then he does all this shit

and then pose shoots up from the beneath yes and this is the one hour this is finally the rambo freak out after all this time it's great and i mean look at good grenade work here by the way in this breakout love it apparently the body count this movie which i believe listed on iMdb is 74 that rambo kills sure it's a lot of people he's bowing through it here's the thing though like I'll believe that but the problem is I can never personally confirm because I'm married to a real human woman oh I see I'm a grown adult but I can't go back and go one

two IMDV's gonna love me for it's a lot of it's a group shot there's gonna be a lot in that one okay wait a minute let's go frame by frame on it's like oh he blew up a hut that's probably five yeah put a pot of coffee on mom this is gonna take me all night you got a cardival kind of Click, click, click, click. But, oh, dude, crazy. Dude, Rambo pulling up this razor wire with his bareheads. Oh, yeah.

God damn. I can't look at that or think about it, clearly. And he's used, this knife is so good it can cut through razor wire, which is. Sure. Anything, dude. This is, you know, when a creep comes to your house trying to sell you knives. Look, it cuts through a Coke cat. It's like nothing.

They mean business. It's true. And he's like, you know. Would your mind give me your pinky? I can just show you really. This thing can really. He bought it from like an ass scene on TV commercial. You know, I saved a pretty woman because she's so pretty.

And it's, you know, Vietnam vets not too bad. But it's all about you, my friend, the knife. I love you so much, knifie. Oh, I traverse Vietnam thrice over for you, Knifey. What you think it was because I got upset because they were going to cut your eye. No, but they were going to use my knife? I don't think, I do not think so. It is kind of unclear in this moment.

And he does live. Yeah. But he's just like, I guess, recap. captured and put back in a pen. Yes. But rickety crickets, like, getting the shit kicked out of him right here, too, like before the freak out. And then you don't see really what happened to him.

No. No. Why show things I would like to see? Why do that? So then this is, man, Rambo and Co. Are safe for now. And we stop at a riverside here, and let's catch our breath for a second. He's like, or she says, like, what are you going to do?

And he's like, I think I'm going to find my way to Thailand and then make my way back home. And she's like, okay. And you'll take me with. you. I would love to also escape this hell. Yeah, sounds great. A kiss. A little bit of a kiss. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Maybe you know what, John, after all this, a new chapter's coming. A new chapter where you're going to be happy and healthy. Why don't you wash up? And then I'm going to tell you about pre-nups. She just goes to start this journey to walk to Thailand and is just riddled with bullets in seconds.

incredible. It's so unintentionally funny. He returns fire. He kills three out of four. I think it's like the general is one of these guys that runs away. Tau is the one that gets away because he has the best death in the movie later. He was going to walk away. He didn't start this if you remember that from the last film.

And they started it. So now they killed his lady. And now he's going to go back and fucking start really laying waste of these people. Her dying words are like Rambo. You will forget me question mark again the 9db thing that i do believe or i choose to believe is that the original cut he goes no and then the test scrating everybody laughed yeah i totally believe that

because listen folks out there making movies no one's ever not gonna laugh at that it's never not going to be fucking hilarious and embarrassed sincerity looks silly sometimes i laughed at darth vader doing it of course you did it's the funniest fucking shot in the movie because that's not just like sincerity, it's theatrical sincerity It's funny I mean it's gonna do that But you can you can express grief

At a sudden loss In other ways In Rambo the movie No you cannot It's going to be a scream at the sky And that's it So now he's going back to the camp He gets his bow and arrow together

Dude let's go with this bow and arrow already Use a piece of her shirt That she used to wrap his hand and makes the iconic bandana. That's right. And he's got her lucky necklace around his neck. It's an homage to her. I also took the change out of her pockets.

She doesn't need it. I had thoughts of kissing her. So she means a lot to me. Does she count for my body count? You know, the sex one. Not the, not the, you know, killing machine one, the sex one. I have those numbers really hard down. No, we're talking about firmly.

Six digits there. So he is sneaking into this camp. And I got to tell you, somebody saw this movie and stole it for a 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he fights an alien in a jungle. Because Rambo in 1985 is covered in mud and he leaps out of a mud pit and fucking kills a guy like a monster. I'm Der Golo. Co put a little note in my mouth saying that I should kill the Russians.

No, you can do whatever you want to my face. You won't push it around, mold it as you lie. It's just really funny to me This is Arnold with the camo And the tree shit and Predator I meant to look it up because I didn't know Which one came out first, yeah Yeah, this was 85 and Predator is 87

So yeah So somebody saw something Good idea But he is doing some straight up Just Jason Vorge's neck breaks Throughout this whole little Because again it's like you gotta be quiet We can't be you know

With all the boom booms right at the start So we're just breaking neck silently But he's like violently violently coming out from behind corners and shit There's a few arrows as these Ruski's get as well, which is fun. Love some good arrow death, dude. Because he's, I mean, again, he is right now, like, if you're, it's 1980, whatever,

he is winning the war at long last. Oh, yes. This is what he's, he's a one man? Yep. Vietnam War. Clean up crew. Came finally. Absolutely.

And then he gets these explosive arrows out of his ass, I guess. I have no idea. No, they had, he has a special case for these fuckers that like, like, you see him loading it early on. It's like a little tiny pack. He's like, here we go with the shanty pack with the exploding arrowheads in it. I guess he grabbed it. after they caught him, they took it,

and then he grabbed it. I don't know. Let's not think about it. You know what? A Vietnamese wizard did it. How about that? And he starts using them to burn these fields, all these Vietnamese troops are in, which is cool. This is awesome because he, this whole trap is great. Oh, yeah. So he, and it starts with the funniest thing

where he's like, man, there's a lot of guys in this camera. How could I kill them swiftly and a lot at the same time? And he's looking around. And then he's like, what's that? And the camera cuts to this chicken. Yes. And it does this slow zoom in on this chicken making sure everyone is paying

attention. Which is parroted in hot shots when he grabs the chicken, which is great. He actually shoots the chicken, yeah, as an arrow. Yeah, yeah, that fucking made the poster, that shit. But this is like, I'm making a blood path here because they think he's bleeding and they're following it. And the guy

is also dumping fucking gasoline along the way. This is an awesome trap. It is also great that he runs. through a Vietnamese village he's like, I'll get back to you later. Don't nobody, go nowhere. One of these dudes he gets with an arrow,

a non-exploding arrow, looks almost exactly like a Harrison Ford stunt double. I like that. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. One of these Ruski's here. But yeah, the fucking all of this, yeah, the flaming arrows go, these dudes are getting set on fire in this field. They're screaming for their lives. It's awesome. I don't know how you can

say that you have some idea of like an actual body count in this movie with this sequence. You know what I mean? It's like you're saying you definitely 50 times you might. I mean I guess so but it's like saying you know the definitive number of jelly beans in a jar. You would have to like it involves a lot of looking at the IMD to look at casting just how many people were cast

as like Burning Man number four or whatever the fuck. Right. And then looking at the actual scene and being like well that's that one. That's that one. Or recounting cars too. There's some parked cars. He takes that on the bridge. Yeah. Oh, that bridge part is awesome too. all these things blowing up. And so this, he takes on towel here in this moment. Or Tay, excuse me, T-A-Y.

Yes, dude, this is amazing. Well, at first, he lures that policeman to an island and puts him in a wicker man and lights him on fire. It's the solstice. Yeah, take the bees. It's the bee. You came here of your own accord.

Go scream to your god now. Sorry, we were so rude to you, but it's because we worship the bees or something. the picture little elephant boy there little elephant boy and a little horse boy so they are facing him and Tay and Tay

kind of he's got a gun and Stallone's just got the bow and arrow and he kind of runs Tay runs farther away in the hopes that he can like get away from the arrow range or whatever and he's just got his one little handgun left he shoots it and Rambo's like

nice try and just does this arrow and this dude turns to dog food. It's incredible Eric's beloved chunks Chunks. Soup Chunky style. Reggie. Yeah.

It was a Campbell's Chunky reference from an ad campaign from 20 years ago. Campbell's Chucky Soup. But then the Soviets come in with their helicopter and they drop this like mini bomb right on the like the death site where Tal just exploded and Rambo's got to like jump into the river.

I feel like this helicopter shot in is responsible. for many video game's final boss. I've seen this helicopter. I think I'm winning the game, but then someone's in a helicopter. They're always in a helicopter. You start shooting in, it starts flashing red, it goes

back, faster. Oh, and they always do have bunker busters, right? And then B-Bob and Rock Setti come out. The music starts going bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-pap-bop-pah. Hey, did you guys serve? Oh, my God. This one vet I know

He came back They spit on him And then he got all this Mutagen on him And he turned into a pig You could tell that he's a veteran Because he's wearing camo pants I'm sorry

He's a rhinoceros Rhinoceros Yeah he sued And all he wanted to do Is come home and work at a zoo He's because he hung out with his friend A fucking Wardhawk And he betrayed him

He'd took him to this ooze place And he just said That's plain ooze I feel like maybe Bebop was also a vet, but he just stopped wearing the camo. You got into the punk scene a little bit. Bebop started hanging up below 14th Street a lot. He was like, I'm trying to throw off the old garb, you know.

I can't wear my camoes no more. It's all a lie. You want to snort this green stuff? Oh, dude, he sold it to one of those Army surplus stores for a fix. Oh, yeah. And then it was like rock steady before the mutagen. And he sounded like, I don't know, Bebop, man. I don't know.

that green shit no more man it's making me feel like a rhino no man you gotta read this this is legacy of ashes the CIA is bullshit I'll tell you what there's still like Ninja Turtles

comics floating around or whatever let's do a prequel pre-mutagen like a little four issue run Bebop and Roxetti in New York City in the 1970s pre-mutation oh hell yeah they're just like harassing the Ramones and shit It's basically with Nail and I,

but eventually they're going to turn into a rhinoceros and a warhol. I was going to Rosencrantz and Gildesstein are dead. Oh, even better. From the other side, you see this. Actually, not much is happening with them. So, you know, the bomb goes off. Then they sort of lower the chopper to make sure

they got proof of kill here. Rambo, again, much like the mighty Jason Vore. He's jumping out of the water to get on the helicopter. He pulls the one dude in. And then the other dude, who I was saying, it's like a it was like a Soviet Vinnie Jones this guy and we're just doing this on the helicopter fight not a great fight though that's no I think you said this earlier it's a long strangle thing that like eventually he tosses this guy off but like it needs to be a bigger that's at this point

I'm explosioned out I want to see a fist fight I think that's something that took us time to actually figure out was actual fighting on a helicopter I don't think it was until the tom cruiser where we actually got that shit going oh yeah it's 1985 this movie's doing a lot for the genre as it is, so we'll get there. Yeah, it's fair, but I agree. Like, I do kind of want, maybe not even the hell of a cool fight, you know. Yeah, I agree, like a knife, whatever. Oh, there's, and

oh, then there's the second Rambo there. Doing nothing. Doing fucking nothing. It's like a strangle thing, and then eventually kicks this guy up and over and out the open door, and then he takes out the knife and goes towards the pilot, and funny, the pilot just walks out of the plane. I'm good, dude.

That's like a, uh, another James Cameron property. Oh, right. Yes, you totally. Yep, well, I'm out of here. Yep, exactly. I would do the same thing. I'll just get lost in the jungle. It's a better way to die.

There is a great Stallone quote about Cameron's involvement. Oh, please let me. Because it's, I think I read the same one, and it starts out respectfully, and it ends with him telling him to eat shit. It's hilarious. Because basically, like, I think Cameron was like, Stalin put all the politics in, and he wanted to do this, not the other of this. And apparently, in 2006, the Q&A. with ain't it cool news? Yeah.

Your news source, ladies and gentlemen, Stallone recalled, Ain't it cool, who? That guy's weird looking. I think James Cameron is a brilliant talent. But I thought the politics were important, such as the right-wing stance coming from Troutman and his nemesis Murdoch,

contrasted with Rambo's obvious neutrality, question mark, which I believe is explained in Rambo's final speech. Of course. I realize his speech. at the end may have caused millions of viewers to burst veins in their eyeballs by rolling them excessively. But the

sentiment was also conveyed to me by many veterans. Also in his original draft, it took 30 to 40 pages for any action initiated and Rambo was partnered with a techie side to. So it is more than just politics that were put in the script. There was a simpler storyline.

If James Cameron says more than that, then he realizes now he's doing a backstroke badly. He in a pool of life. Whoa. Right? Our greatest living author, by the starts by saying that he's

a total genius. That the end of it is he's swimming in a pool of life. I need to know what drug he was on. That is a specific drug and not pot. That's not alcohol and that's not pot. It's just riddle it involved. For sure. Maybe. Oh, I was going to say it's like HGH.

Just an overdose? Maybe. It's making my brain big and weird. Oh, you? you think Ritalin's bad for you? Maybe you're swimming in a pool of lives. Because I've been in a lot of pool. I've just been in a pool of shit. And that was not full of a lot of lives. That's the worst pool. It was a pool

of flies, though. It was full of shit. A lot of flies around. So he flies back to the camp and just fucking firebombs this whole place. Of course. He does. As he would. And then he gets all the guys in, they jump in their helicopter. Now he's got all the vets. And, you know, just like, you know, a little

bit of something here. Just one black vet and doesn't say anything. I was just like, There's a lot of, it's just, it's very clearly saving a lot of white people. Sure, I'll tell, sure, yes. But there is a veteran who gets shot in the back while getting onto the escape helicopter, and I was stunned, it wasn't that guy. Yeah, you're right. They do, when they do get on the ground, though, when he goes to save them, I just said,

he has, he takes the machine gun off the helicopter, and he's like, yeah, this will do. Oh, it's awesome. There's also another P.O.W. It looks like Ad Rock from the BC Boys. It's pretty great. But then this is, you know, it's 1985, and this movie is doing a lot for helicopter action. It's 2019.

Tom Cruise is now doing more for helicopter action. Because this is like, this is a chase. It's a helicopter on helicopter chase right here. Pretty great. It's pretty cool, yeah, for sure. I mean, it is exhilarating watching two real helicopters chasing each other in 1985. Yeah, he's in that stolen Soviet helicopter. That's more of a passenger one.

And here comes like the Soviet Apache equivalent. Yeah, it's the big warbird with the huge like missiles on it. Oh, no, the Romulins are unlawful. I was praying for those peaceful vokens, no such luck. Oh, no, we pass your neutrality point. We're pretty a clock now. They kind of, you know, they nick the helicopter

here and there, so it's like spinning out at one point and, like, Podrovsky's, like, got this smirk on his face. Like, I finally killed Rambo. And he just sort of lands this helicopter, and I love this so much. Like, goes down, it's like, I'll just pretend I'm a sleep. Just taking a nap. Yeah.

And maybe when I wake up, everything will be fine. Sheep, beep, beep, sheep. Put the feather over my nose so I can keep blowing it up so they know I'm taking a nap. Luckily, I keep a sleeping cap with me at all the times. Finally, he is in Sleepyland. He's got a little candle by him. He must be asleep. He looks like bear on T-Ed.

He is sleeping now. Oh, he's a pajama cap on. with the little fuzzy ball at end. Boy, that bear is constantly sleepy. Let us tiptoe around him as he sleep. Do not touch alarm clock with the bells. But then he just grabs that bazooker and lights up that helicopter. And it's so funny because you're like,

what is that hole in the windshield doing there? It's so he can stick the rocket launcher through it. Of course. It's a nice one. And then it's like, well, okay. All the Soviets are dead, everybody. Buckle up. I drive down to Holiday Road.

Whoa. Wait, wait, what do you mean, Wally World's close? These vets wanted to go to Wallywold. I had the grandmother tied to the top of the helicopter. She turned into Swiss T. This is a blood right. I were butcher John Candy, and I would send pieces of him to his family. I'd regard if he was looking back at these fucking withered vets

that have been living on, like, fucking three-grandson rights. for years. Isn't this the best fun you ever had? Oh, my God, this is amazing. Now, this is living. We're about you to go on the teacups. Okay, we're going to need seven, eight, now, we're going to need a dozen fudge pops for

the fellas here. So, he calls troutman. Oh, yes, lone wolf. Wolf den, come in. This is the lone wolf. And the other thing you need here, and it doesn't happen, is aside from Martin Cove and mustache guy, yes.

the rest of the other guys I mean everybody else besides Charles Napier is actual like active military the rest of the other guys you get this vibe that there's a bunch of deleted shit somewhere where it was like well he's fucking with veterans we're gonna be veteran someday and that

never comes to anything it doesn't have any because again like or even like even if like Murdoch at the end like when it's like coming in lone wolf is like I want that plane shot off the ground or something and then someone in the control and punches him something needs to have it right yeah we're not doing that Mr. Murdoch.

Oh, if things were happening, that'd be great. Instead, they just land, and then this is where we get Rambo trying to kill the computers. Well, first, he just knees Martin Cove and the balls, which is like such a whatever. Crazy. My nerds. That that's it, though.

It's like he might as well. He should spit them out of his mouth. Why don't you then just pull the t-shirt over his head, like a hockey fight? Give him a wedgy. Do the whole thing. It's bullshit. But yeah, then he goes in, and he's got the gun.

And this is a great. Troutman doesn't even question it. Like he walks right by Troutman with this huge fucking anti-aircraft gun or whatever it is. And Troutman's like, well, everything seems to be up to code here. I'll let him walk right in. By the way, when he saw him with that gun, he did spurred a little. Oh, fuck. He's going to kill me.

Oh, no, he did. Oh, yeah, we're best friends, John. Yeah, see, you can always trust me, Johnny Boy. Don't kill me, you nightmarish killing machine. I'm so good to see you. Cove does give a funny oh glad you made it or something like that right before the nut kick oh yeah he shoots the shit out of

Murdoch's control center here it's such a cave man I kill computer and all the bad stuff go away and honestly like it doesn't even look like he did that great of a job and also we don't even know what the computers do like do you know what I mean they were to track the mission that didn't happen the photo shoot in fucking Vietnam

that we were fucking supposed to do Well, how's the mission going? I don't know. This is all the measure TV ratings. Well, he's shooting, like, the first draft. He's shooting Cameron's first draft with the computer shit in it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Take that, James Cameron.

I'm also kind of pretending it's George Fulton a little bit, even though I don't have anything to get you personally. That's the thing is, I bet you the cameras, if you've read the original all the way through, I bet you had the good payoff. Yes, I'm sure it would. I bet it wasn't just the one guy getting exploded with the explosive arrow, which is nice.

You're not saying it's not nice. This is the He goes after Murdoch Mission Accomplished He jams the knife down On the table Permission to come sure

Well he says like But he threatens me You better bring them all home And he's like okay I guess I'll do that All right no there's a man out there You know where they are Find him

Or I'll find you I'll just write that down On my invisible type of Jackass Okay we're going to to get a wag the dog type situation to go in here and just get 2,500 white men in dirt

and say they were in Vietnam. Because also like, I mean, in this world, I mean, the U.S. government is plenty evil. Don't be going to be wrong. But in this world, the U.S. government is so evil that they are twisting their mustache about service members just being locked in fucking Vietnamese hellholes

that they didn't send them to, by the way. This El Salvadorian one, that's fine. But like, they're doing this. You got to kill this guy. Like, this guy is pure evil. Like, that's, if that's the... And then that could be the reason why he doesn't go back to America. Exactly. He had to kill him.

But no, that doesn't happen. Instead, you know, Trotman's like, you deserve another medal for this. Oh, great. Why don't you give it to them? They deserve it more. I mean, I would hope that they would get at least a medal. At the very least. Can you get them like a cup of rice first or something?

Yeah, exactly. Please. A fucking cheeseburger. Some anti-biotic, maybe. Yeah, first step, let's go to the infirmary. First thing's first. Infirmary Cheeseburger ticket home. Who has cuts?

Are they still bleeding? You first. All right. Thank you so much for your service. Here is $50 American each, by the way. We got you each here. Here's you go. We're going to close up.

This is a can of Coca-Cola. He eats one of you. Yeah, yeah. That money's worth more in 85. And also, in honor of our wonderful president, why don't you? You all get some jelly beans. How about that stuff?

Ronald Reagan. the actor oh and by the way we just invented something that's gonna fuck you forever it's called a credit score uh what's that oh that sounds nice what is that figuring out a new news to put around you oh so we do we all have good credit right no credit which is actually bad for some reason yeah figure that out uh we get the monologue here now yes oh yeah traveling's like come back with us you're free now back to what my friend's dad here part of me dad here oh I'm afraid to do. Yeah, pretty much.

Don't hate your country for it. Hey, I'd die for it. What is it that you want? I want what they want. Civilization. And everything. We're trying to have to put everything into canned goods and shotgun.

Like every guy who came here and spilled his guts what they want for our country to love us as much as we love it. Okay. John, we have Veterans Day. Did you know what? But we want parades. Well, there's Memorial Day

as well for the fall. A weekly parades. I just feel like you could keep your federal holiday if there was maybe some sort of unlimited mental health and doctors. Oh, health in general, I would say. Just open it up. Here's a day where we put a flag on

the yard. You're welcome. They do get the VA, and the VA is great. The Veteran Affairs Hospital, it treated my father for a long time. It was actually very good. But we're always trying to gut it. We're always very close to gut it. And they're always diminishing it they're always closing fucking places i was thinking that's how we get universal healthcare put it in the pentagon budget VA for all we're all better oh there you go uh but it's it's

it's it is again like contrasted with the original ending because that's what we're trying to do here again yeah like to have the big emotional moment at the end of this action movie editate it folks you're right stillone my eyeballs were bursting how fucking rolling or whatever how will you live John. Day by day. Step by step day by day. We'll start over different anyway. I have the facts

of life. That roller coaster looks pretty nice. Wow, that Patrick Duffy was handsome as all get out, man. Can we get him with these? Is he like glass table? His whole thing, like day by day and he just literally turns around and just wanders

into Vietnam. Yeah. As I guess bound for Thailand at some point. Go north, go to Thailand, brother. And then freeze frame, peace in our life featuring Frank Stallone. Yikes. Dude,

home of the brave, we will never fall. The strength of our nation belongs to us all. Do you think there's any like, because they're clearly plentiful. There's got to be one of these right wing DJs who are doing these like military events where they're just packing them in

and one of them has to bring one of these fuckers out like he knows the rare stuff like oh yeah the third track on the Rambo three soundtrack and he's pumping that shit right before Trump comes out I was stunned Eric your best friend Frankson alone right my friend of me he is on he is on Spotify yes and this is his 10th most popular song yeah right it's staying alive was beating it I saw that as well

yeah pretty surprising that is wild I think staying alive is probably like beating that song only because people turn it on confusing it with the BG's right yeah they just put on the soundtrack it must be that cool BG's song what the fuck is this shit I had and I had to listen to it separately

because again I got the fast forward credits that would play right if this movie was playing right before Walking Dead Horse Shit City or whatever the fuck is on AMS you just enjoyed Rambo First Blood Part 2

now enjoy seven hours of Walking Dead whatever the fuck I actually bought the 4K for this It was $13. Nice. And it looks amazing. Whole trilogy, $14? No, piece by piece.

Yeah. Well, I was actually going to ask you about that because I just did the Apple rental and it was just a bad Blu-ray transfer. It looked like shit. I thought the 4K looked good. Nice. Oh, that's good to know. But yeah, that's the end of the movie.

You go out on Frank Stallone. A cool thing in the credits, there was a stunt coordinator name of Richard Diamond Farnsworth, which I thought was pretty funny because I was just thinking of old Richard Farnsworth's doing stunts. Oh, no, it's actually Richard Diamond Farnsworth. They got it's confused all the time. All the time. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts and possible recommendations, Eric Siska.

Yes, it is. I mean, it's not perfect, obviously, but it is a recommend because I think the action is legitimately good in portions, and that's that. There you go. Chris Gavin. A similar summation, but no, I don't think, unless you're a Stallone head, unless you like the Ram, there's a lot of them out there. Even if you like the Rambo character from the first one, you're not going to like this.

It's a complete 180. Like, it just didn't make sense. No, no, thank you. It's got a couple good kills. It's, it is boring. I do think it's paced relatively well. It does keep moving after the first 30 minutes. It's 90 flat.

Yeah. It makes its way. So like, not the worst thing I've ever seen, but no. Steve Sadek. Yeah, I, it's a not for me. It's a weird thing we're like, I like Stallone fine. I'm more of an Arnold guy if we're asking. Oh, big time.

I mean, I'm not speaking for everybody. You could if you won't I think I'm there doing with you So I didn't grow up with this one I'd have a nostalgia for it And also if I'm going to watch a Stallone movie I'd much rather watch a Rocky than a Rambo Like aside from obviously First Blood

Which is one of his best movies The rest of the Rambo franchise is pretty close to dog shit I think That's kind of where I'm at Yeah see our commentary on Rambo 2008 By the way we did that a thousand years ago Yeah this is the lightest of recommends I've never been a huge Rambo guy

First Blood is a legitimately good actual movie. Shout out to Kachia. Yes, RIP, by the way. But, yeah, this is, again, one hour until a Rambo freak out. I think it's funny that he was like, oh, yeah, Cameron's script too long to go to the action. It still takes 34 minutes, motherfuckers. I don't know what you're talking about.

Still pretty bad. All the stuff with the computers is really fucking dumb. Like, all of that is just really stupid. But through it all, Richard Crenna is awesome, I think. as much as Murdoch doesn't get the out that he deserves Charles Napier is still awesome

so there's things to like about it but the lightest of lightest He should have gone out like Science of the Lamb Oh yeah yeah Except for with his hand Like if Rambo did that with his hands That would be great

That's Colonel Pembery in there God damn it I thought you meant it like Colonel Travind put on one of those Panama hats I'm gonna have a friend for dinner John Who can I come I'm stuck That was going to do it for this episode on Rambo.

First Blood Part 2, directed by the late great George Pete Cosmetose. If you want more, we ate movies, check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash reate movies where you could get this very episode, ad-free, zero commercials. That's right.

We already mentioned it, but the we love movies this month was the really, what the fuck was it? 20 days later, Jesus Christ. The Danny Boyle movie. Hell yeah. Leading up to the new zombie apocalypse that keeps happening 28 years later

in theater soon. That is right. We also have once in a lifetime is coming back this month, Chris Cabin? Yes, we do. It's... Killer contractor. There it is. Killer contractor. Thank you, Eric. Killer contractor, yes, indeed.

One of the best we've ever done. Primo. Primo. Go find... Actually, this is good. Go find the movie and watch it now. You get the heads up. Before, you should be watching this one first. As of this recording, it's on YouTube for free, uploaded by Lifetime. That's right. Don't fall for it like me. Don't add it to $4.99 to your collection on Amazon.

Melro 210 also this month We're getting into some really crazy stuff here Just laid that episode down Melrose plays that Australian guy's got to be put down like a dog dude That Chris he's got he's got some real problems that we're going through on that show We have left Daddy Wars we are now in in music wars Yes music wars gambling wars is also happening on 90210 a lot going on there And on animation damnation we just did a great episode on the Superman the animated series

One of my favorite anime series of all time Hell yes, that was great episode on Mr. Mitzelplick. Mr. Mitzelplick with the Great Gilbert Godfrey. That's awesome. A friend of the show. Big Gleap Glossary this month, something people have been asking us about. We are going to be talking about our thoughts on Andor 2, Endor Season 2, I guess.

Oh, Andor First Blood Part 2. Yes, that's right. Andor First Blood Part 2 on the Patreon. We'll be talking all about that second season. Andor 2. Look at Biggs' huge tits. Oh, yeah. And starring Bruce Dern as a crooked antichie. dealer yeah

I just love playing both sides and smucking this intergalactic weed man so all that and more we got a commentary coming out this month also we should just plug it here because why the hay not Friday June 20th

we are talking Superman 2 live on the internet head over to moment.com slash we eight movies snag them ticks for that people have asked are we talking about theatrical cut or the Donner cut I feel like we should just talk about both We're going to be talking both. We'll move most into theatrical. We'll go through theatrical, but we'll talk about the daughter.

Yes. That's a good way to point it. So, yeah, Moment.com slash Rear Movies or head over to the website. Check out the tour page. All that stuff is there. So next week, totally cool awesome 80s month in the Super Blockbuster. It's the Super Blockbuster. The Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza continues with a convo about what movie, Steve?

It'll be my second week in a row watching a movie for the first time. Willow. Oh, boy, here we go. I was signed it for you. I liked Willow, so we'll see how it goes. Willow, I rewatched it recently, held up fun movie. First movie I ever saw in theaters, as a matter of it.

And it'll be a nice fitting tribute to the dearly departed Val Kilmer. That's right. He's great in it. So if you haven't seen it, like Steve, watch it. Watch it up. It's a good movie. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Next week, when we talk all about Ron Howard's Willow. Until then, I've been Andrew Jupon. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. Thank you. We're going to be. You know what?

It's a lot of them. Thank you.