We Hate Movies - S15 Ep806: Crocodile Dundee

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

“He dresses like an Old West gigolo…” - Eric on Mick Dundee On this week’s episode, the Totally Cool Awesome 80s jag of the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza is covering the second highest-grossing film of 1986, the croc-out-of-water comedy, Crocodile Dundee! Why does the movie take so long to get to New York City? What in the hell were they thinking with the multiple crotch grab “gags”? Who packs a sexy bathing suit for a hike through the bush? Does the script confirm that Mick has magic powers? Wouldn't someone try to kill Mick after he wastes all that coke at the party? And what in the WORLD are we doing being barefoot in the subway at the end?! PLUS: Be on the lookout for the American Crocodile Dundee, Alligator Johnson! Crocodile Dundee stars Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Mellon, David Gulpilil, Steve Rackman, Mark Blum, Michael Lombard, and Reginald VelJohnson as Gus; directed by Peter Faiman. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show name—We Hate Movies—in the survey so they know we sent you! Don’t wait! Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from our show! Don’t miss our Superman II worldwide digital show happening THIS FRIDAY, June 20th, at 9pm/et! We’ll be doing the After Party Q&A right after the show too, which Patreon subscribers on the Belushi and Walsh tiers can bundle in with their show ticket for free! Can’t make it that night? No worries! The show and the Q&A will be available for replay for 14 days after air! Don’t wait, snag your tickets now! Tickets are going fast for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20. Tickets are going fast—our shows on Quantum of Solace and Hellraiser are already SOLD OUT—so don’t wait, snag your tix today! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, you know, it seems crazy now to think, but in 1986, somehow this was the second highest-grossing movie of the year. It's Crocodile Dundee. I'm Andrew Jupin. Good-eye, Stephen Sadek. Crocodile, Cisco. You call that a Chris Cabin? This is a Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in.

As always, that's right, we are fist deep in the summer blockbuster extravaganza, totally cool, awesome 80s month talking, good God, Crocodile Dundee from 86, like I mentioned, directed by Peter Feynman. famous for three things directing this movie Fern Gully the last rainforest and then the movie that just I guess got him tired of directing Dutch. Oh wow right? The director of Dutch directed

Fern Gully and Crocodile Dutty. This is now I'm now re-appraising this movie as being better now that I know an auteur. Fern Gully and Dutch my lord. At least this one I understand it because you got the fucking the wilds of Australia. It's gorgeous. The first

hour of this movie is freaking gorgeous. But yeah, he does seem like his tone is closer to a Dutch movie. That's what he should be doing more times. Nasty. The Vernd Gulli is nuts. I don't get that at all. That's crazy. Also, very scary kids movie for one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But with an environmental

message, which I guess, even well, I guess the hero here is, what's this, a poacher? So that's not. No, no. Secret poacher. But he's cool with the Aborigines in a certain way. On here it says he's a bloody pouch. Yeah, he's cool with him because as the Crocodile Dundee lore goes,

this man, Mick Crocodile Dundee was raised by an Aboriginal tribe of some kind. Some kind. Some guy, yeah, it's off screen. It's off screen, but it only has to be mentioned so that when he's doing, and folks at home, I'm doing air quotes, fucking Aboriginal magic tricks in this movie, it is justified question. And he also doesn't know when he was born because of that. And then we see the aboriginals with watches on.

It's because he's 50. He's like, oh, no, I don't, you know, I was born in the summertime, mate. Yeah, that'll do. That's enough for her. She doesn't need any more info. No, I knew elders. Older than me, for sure. There were people much older than me.

You know you're in trouble with the movie when it starts. It's like there's almost no establishing shot. It's just newsday. Right into it. And this guy is just yapping at her and she's on a hotel call. And I'm like, what is any of them? It's such a bizarre opening. What is this story?

It's like, I found a guy that dresses like an asshole down here. We have to profile him for the magazine. We'll just shovel money at you so you can get this done. This is like a real like shows you how times have changed. The fact that Newsday magazine is plunking all this money down for this what story? And it's also because the way it goes is she's in Australia for something else. We don't know what it is. Some of their Australian-related stories.

story. And then she's like, oh, I heard this story at a bar last night. I guess I'm going to go to Walkabout Creek. Her editor who is like, cuck in the century. It's just like well, I guess so. Beki-boo. Well, that's, that is why this works is because he this is a response, of course, to men

getting in touch with their feelings. And like, and what we need is an outsider with shitty clothes. Smells like absolute shit. Andrew, you pointed this out. Of course, he absolutely smells like guards to him. Sorry. I'm sure Paul Hogan's a very nice guy, but this character smells like shit. And looks as if he is a gator

himself. He's got the skin. The leatheriest fuck you've ever seen. But he dresses like an old west jigolo of some people. Yeah. He's like a guy who works at the bar at the end of Kill Bill 2, like the outdoor place. Oh, yes. Like he would be the bartender hanging out with the

Mike. Michael Parks. He's the bartender going, hey Michael Parks, I don't think you should be doing that accent. Could you also not say that word or that word? I think, well, it's also weird. Like I guess this movie sort of makes sense in a third act twist when you find out that her father runs the paper, which is the weirdest, like, gutting of a character. Like, because for the most of the movie, you're like, oh, she's like this interpret reporter, a Lois Lane type.

Right, a hot shot reporter. And then all of a sudden, it's like, I hope you're taking care of my little girl who I'm just sending around the world. Big reveal. She has no agency. Exactly. Big reveal, everybody. Just sending her money to go profile guys she wants to have sex with. For my latest column, guys, I'm fucking, I went down under to meet a man who refused to go down under, if you know what I mean.

It's being retitled sex in the city. We should say this is Sue Charlton is the character played by Linda Kozlowski, who is known for this movie, the next movie, the third movie, a couple of other Paul Hoggin movies. She comes back and the Carpenter not great remake of Village of the Day. We got to do that one of these days. I haven't seen it forever. Who's the lady in that movie? Is it Kirstie Allen? Yeah, that's right.

And Mark Hamill. Yes, that's right. Oh, fuck. Now that I'm thinking about that, the Mark Hamill of it all, I'm like, is that movie better than I remember? It could be. It's a solid three from me. Is that a solid three?

Fair enough. 90s carpenter, so you're just going creaky hand no matter of one. It looks great, but everything else is very questionable. You're on thin ice all the same. Yeah, but so that, like, she's just, she's known for being in these movies and she was married to Paul Hogan for like 24 years or something. And that ended, flamed outs. I'm sure there's a story there.

Why don't we put that in the paper? I don't know. How did they separate? What happened? Well, there you go. You can now write Crocodile Dundee in the pages. That's the fourth one. It's like why. You do the fucking journalism season. And you just have him like dealing with the media. You guys understand that there is a pseudo fourth. There is. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Well, yes. It was like him playing himself, right? It's like the infamous Mr. Dundee or something. Did I see this? I don't know. I think John Cleese is involved, if the most of a mistake.

Well, they're even worse. The very excellent Mr. Dundee from 2020 plot synopsis. Paul Hogan is reluctantly, yeah, okay, thrust back into the spotlight as he desperately attempts to restore his sullied reputation on the eve of being knighted. Wow. Get out of here. So it's science fiction then. That's hilarious.

It's where he goes into hyperspace. He's going to get knighted. Is that the idea? Is there any mention of crocodile in it? it, though? Is he going to play him in the new one? I don't know. You know, I did not see this? The poster is him. So you know how in the poster for this movie, it's

him and he's pushing down. Out in the bush. The bush of the city. This is, and it's like crocodile shaped, whatever. This is him. He's doing the same thing. But it's two crocodile-shaped, like, pool floaties. Well, that makes sense because the poster to this movie, I'm sorry. Chevy Chase, sorry. Chevy Chase is in this movie.

Dude, not only that, Olivia Newton-John. Of course, he's at Ozzy. Jim Jeffries. Jacob Allorty is in this movie. ever as a baby Luke Bracey that's a real person as a baby from 2020 yeah so the poster you ever see those Polish posters where it's like oh it's Star Wars

and like it's like C3PO rip it off Luke's cock Polish Polish film posters are some of the best shit you'll ever see in your life this is as insane as that it is a giant Paul Hogan towering above the city reality altering the buildings to make them into reeds that he could push aside

it's insane that's a terrorist threat in my book look at this Look at this inception shit here. Look at this posters. It's trippy, man. Eat the cars, Paul. Eat the cars. Whose dream is this we're doing?

Paul Hogan's. Clearly. Yeah, I got all these infinity stones and decided to soak myself Lodge and move the buildings around. Yeah, got me, me dead wife and me top that's not spinning. Oh, yeah. He wrestles the alligator in the mirror universe to, like, stop it.

Dude, how about the crocodile commit suicide off the hotel building? like Marion Cotillard in that movie. Don't do it. Crookie down now. It's just a stuffed one. The one that got away, the one I wanted to stab in the brain. But he got his dream. He did get to have that dream. We do get a brain stab of a crocodile.

Which is pretty great. It is just such a bizarre opening of like that lets you know that this movie doesn't have mentioned. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. It has a smart alecky way to start though, right? Because it's like, I need all this money to go interview this Mick Crocodile Dundee that I've heard legend about and this dude who is seemingly yes at once her editor

her cuck her soon to be fiancee here this dude is like well I don't know you're going into like the Australian bush like it could be dangerous there she goes don't worry I'm a New Yorker smash cut to the outback da da da da da da da da da da da da what a fucking dumb

oh man the music is good in this there's like there's themes that's being played throughout it's like when Jason Voorhees that sure yeah yeah yeah we have that for Mick Dundee where it's just like the little like I don't know it's like two sticks being hit together I don't know how to describe it

what if the one of my entrance theme was just two sticks get hit to get it yes well they probably there was definitely a screen test of did you redo and like this is too no no thank you it's going to drive American audiences and say apparently there was a this is the international cut we watched

because apparently there's an Australian cut where there's much more Australian slang That people couldn't understand. Slurs? Before, this is like way, when the movie first was released, was released in Australia, and then they're like, we'll release it to international audience, we'll just change some of way. It's what they did with the Road Warrior.

So they cut out a lot of bikey talk? Yeah, bikey stuff and Okies and whatever else. Some of this stuff, like, I'll just like, I'll be reading the Wikipedia, there'll be hyperlinked to a word. I'm like, I don't know what that is. Yeah, and I don't know if I want to click on it in public. Yeah. This is the other part of it.

The possibility of the slurs is just, it's everywhere. I have to say, you know, I've seen this movie a couple of times. It wasn't a standard grown up or whatever. But I did not remember this much Australia before you get back to New York City. Because if you watch the fucking trailer into this movie, the selling point is fish out of water Australian dude comes to New York City. You'd think that would be the movie. I watched this several times as a kid and the sequel.

And I always identified this one as the one that's all in New York. Yes. And then the sequel is the one that's all in Australia. It should be 16 minutes top She meets him She realizes a sexy rogue Come to New York And now we're doing stuff

We go on this bullshit Trek that's like Step by step The story of him He was on this hunt And got attacked by a crocodile And wrestled it and killed it And she's like

You're gonna show me all the places This totally true story happened Right I'm like You ruby Bit my leg off Bigot my leg Yep In the story they're saying

The Croc pulled him Down under Under the water You know to do death roll but that doesn't happen I wish I wish when he's talking about that death roll you know

somewhere in the back of somebody's mind maybe it was Paul Hogan maybe it was one of the writers or something like that was just like this is the quint moment this is where he talks about what it's like to be attacked by a crocodile it's going to be so emotional you think they thought it was this serious

because like that's a difference of tow like to me like he says oh yeah you know you you roll around it Your flesh gets soggy and then they get you. You know, it's not bad. Goes down, down, down. You're rolling around. It's just kind of play with you a little bit, you see?

Like, it's the same vibe. You're toying with you. But she meets Wally, who I believe is his pimp. I'm unclear on this relationship. Yeah, this is like you talk to Wally first before you get an audience with Mr. Dundee. Because she's giving him all the money and like working out the stuff. It's like, no, just it's all right.

Well, like, $2,500, you got took. He really, really did. I'll be very clear about this. You got took. Well, is that in there fake money? Is that different than what that would be? I would think it's USD. It's dollar-y-dus, right.

Yeah, it is the US dollary dues, dude. You're throwing around that newsday money. That's nuts. All right, yeah, for $2,500, I could get you half and half with Crocodilebert D. You know, this is half in Australia, half in New York, of course. That's what I mean? This is why you don't have a newsday around. anymore. They were throwing it to every, you know,

every loosey hymbo. Totally. Any Australian, you could get a fucking story. Three thousand bucks and a story on Newsday. You had to get the hymbo exclusive. They were paying, they were paying big. Do you see, I caught a nice little funny moment here when the chopper lands and she like gets out to, to meet

this fellow Wally here. There's like, there's like, and it's not, it's not a huge, like, Rambo chopper. It's like a Mad Max. Yeah, fly-a-doo chopper. Yeah, it's a post-a-oly-doo. Yeah. And, like, did you know, there's, like, all these chickens around, like, where it lands. These chickens go fly and these, these, like, chopper blades are going.

And these chickens are just getting launched, left and right. That should be a movie. Throw chickens into the propellers of a helicopter. I'm sure there is that video, like, from 1920. All right, well, first half, Thomas Edison's. Cut up chickens. Thomas Edison's chicken blend. Oh, my God.

I just stretch it to 80 minutes, 90, put it in a theater. Eric will see it. it. I don't know how many other people. Stinger, where they bring out the elephant they're going electrician. Oh, yeah, there you go. Elephant versus propeller. Thomas Edison's Animal Abuse Cinematic Universe, absolutely. So this dude, Walter, by the way, John Malin, who is in some much better Australian movies, Wake and Fright and Walkabout. Hell yes, hell yes. But yes, he's the man on the ground or whatever. We're going to go to Walkabout Creek is the town. We get there. It is a, there's the hotel, and then absolutely

nothing possibly like an auto body shop the rest of the town is just not there chicken not like going it's the chicken it's mostly chickens out there it's dirt and it's we're going on a never never safari right that's that's his business right the mick dundee

tourism business and you're still you really are they're trying to build up the reveal of crocodile dundee and I gotta tell you they do a shitty job they do yeah because he's featured in the trailer and everybody well there was the trailer of course and they was revealed there but like Even that, like, his entrance, like, you don't even see him.

No, come in. Covered by people with the fucking stuffed crocodile. And I'm like, this is the name of your goddamn movie, man. We should say when he, when she gets there, we do see our first, uh, Foster's advertisement. There's just a Foster's ad in the back. Boom. This count as nothing else but a Foster's advertisement.

Did you see the advertisement? What does it say? It's have a, instead. Have a Foster's instead. It's a can of Foster's. Oh. Yes. It's essentially like, hey, you know what? Maybe don't try your favorite. The thing that you like, maybe take a break from that. Try something that's mediocre. Or even talk to your wife. Have a fosters instead. I can see Don Draper picture. So here we are. It's a classic American living room. Father sits down. And the ad just comes up. He lets out a big exhale to the long day at work. Why spend time with their kids? Have a fosters instead. You have done it again

Oh my god Dollars size See Peggy Write that down I don't mind Foster's beer I think it's totally fine I feel like it's fallen out of favor

Here at the States I feel when we were in our 20s I would see it all over the time All over the place And just bodegas wherever I just don't see it as much We're out it's welcome I'm gonna say I think the big can was like a shelf space at you

At like bodegas and shit Well my first like memory of Foster is sitting on a Metro North train coming back from purchase and it was like I was on, wherever I got dropped off, maybe granite or something so I was on the New Haven line where they still

at the barcars at the time and it's just this businessman just sits down and then much like the Don Draper out I just posse out of nowhere I don't know if it was a jacket or what just this huge fosters crack and chugging it just a fucking Thursday for that guy. Don't even remember what it tastes like. I think I had it like once, maybe.

It is just sort of regular beer, you know, pildery. A lighter-bodied PBR, maybe. I think microbrews killed this off too. Yes. This was another, you used to just, your microbrewerprew in America was everybody, every other country's number one beer. It's why we don't have Bex anymore. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it was also the big can. It was like the ideas you get pretty drunk with one can, which is fun. Right. Oh, that's actually a good point. It's a lot of fun, yeah. but so she she goes to this

it's a rough and tumble bar there's a dude big fat guy who's the toughest guy in the bar we love this I love this game of balance the beer can on smitty's head while he gets punched

in the stomach excuse me that's donk oh don't yes I knew someone would have it it's like 10 a.m. on a Monday everyone's drunk beyond belief in this bar no one can read or write

it's like the start of it it's always sunny episode like 10.30 a.m. We've already killed every kangaroo within a miles you know at any which way in a mile. And, like, they're just, like, balancing cans on their heads and punching guts. And then Wally's just like, yeah, we're built different here or whatever. Hell yeah, you

are. Yeah, he looks great. I agree. A tough sort, he says, or whatever. Is that tough? I don't know. Or look for work. Why don't have a fosters instead? Watch this movie. Why not have a fosters instead? Pick up your grandmother from the doctor? Why don't have a fosters instead? She's going to have to see him again soon anyway. She's got a cell phone now. She can Uber. So Walter is telling the Dundee legend, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this lady's dumb idiot is like just fucking falling for it. And then I love bar matron here.

This lady's great. I don't even know if she's got a goddamn character in this movie. But this lady, she just starts laughing her tits off. And she's like, oh, Wally, that story gets better every time you tell it. And this lady doesn't stop and think like, oh, am I wasting newsday's money? Oh, fuck. No, no. Am I getting scammed?

That's daddy's money. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter none. But also, my scammed, and also in the most dangerous, weird place with this weird old Australian guy. Yeah, totally. You're talking about wake and fright. He might be crocodile Dundee himself. Like, oh, yeah, crocodile's in my house.

You've got to come into my house. He might be called that because he makes human skin, he, like, tans it to look like crocodiles. He mummifies you, you don't make you look like a crocodile, dude. Exactly. You'll be going down under with crocodile Dundee. It could have been a horror franchise. Yeah, exactly. She's the Drew Barrymore of this

This is a long Drew Barrymore The first kill is You have it so that he's Taking these dudes like out onto the swamps Or whatever and kill him Kind of like this Jai Courtney movie that's out now Dangerous animals Also on Australian picture

But you call it crocodile chumdy And who's throwing these people off the boat Feeding them to the crocs and whatnot I'd like that Oh yeah you'll be crocodile then yeah Just you gotta go on the boat with me We're going to take a boat to be Crocodile Dundee. Oh, we got to wait.

We're not going to get on the boat until the sun goes down, all right? Nothing more magical than being on a boat in the dark. We've got to get closer to the sun. Dundee is the name of the crocodile. He's going to feature you. There's crocodile Dundee. I love you, Crocodile Dundee. I'm Mick, and that's Crockedile Dundee.

Dundee comes in and he's got this stuffed crocodile with him. And I got to tell you, a thing about the music here, I think it's a little all over the place, because this is the only example of it. and I thought I was in for a whole lot more. For whatever reason, Mick Dundee's entrance music in this movie is fat guy John Candy music. Out of nowhere.

Because it is supposed to be a bit, not even a bit, a lot of fucking snobs versus slabs. Yes, yes. We're laying the groundwork for that. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying, why don't we bring it back? Like when he's ruining a fancy society party in New York,

that's the thing. The main theme in the city comes close, It's like that, bap, bap, bada, bada, which is such a, it is such a beautiful 80s little rhythm. I do like the music. But he's like, oh, give me two drinks, one for me and one for me mate. And everything, oh, it's Crocodile Dundee, it is. He's doing it again.

He's playing with his stuff crock again. Who's you going to shoot into chest tonight? Who's you going to do it, too? It's really like, this is how, and this is, you have to realize it, oh, I made a huge mistake. Yep. He's just the town drunk. everybody just has fun with them and this sucks

what if he's like indescribably hot in this world in this world? What if that's happening then maybe you don't report it's got a rugged handsomeness to be sure he definitely does but he does he is like leathery as fuck oh yeah that's if you're into that

he looks like he's been living in Florida's the villages for 25 years right because Sue Charlton does not match with visual wise 25 years his junior, by the way. She's coming here to do a story on this guy.

There's guys in the bar being like, you know, he's just a bloody poucha. Yeah. Let me not talk to them at all, not interview that perspective and think they're assholes because this guy's hot. Well, they're not hot. Because what if instead of any sort of journalism ethics whatsoever, yes. You just got really horny for this guy instead. Again, it's Newsday.

Yeah. Fair enough. They got an exclusive on the Ghostbusters back of the day. You didn't half a gossip rap. I feel like, because Paul Hogan did write this. He was like, all right, I wrote this. So it's a lady from the New Yorker, right? We're not going to get to New York.

Okay, so it's a lady from the daily news. Not going to get the daily news. Okay, the New York, no, no, no. How about Newsday? Are you serious? All right, what about USA Today? Oh, we don't have to go that lower, Paul. We can shoot a, that's a sequel.

We'll come back to that. We'll put it on a sticky note. If we have to, we'll call the USA Today. Exactly. We'll do Newsday first. Right. So he wrote this, and someone was telling me, maybe it was you, Steve, that this was nominated

for an Academy Award? Best original screenplay. Wow. Which is such... Like, this movie, whether or not you find it charming is your own business. The screenplay is abysmal. You can find it charming because you think they have good chemistry because they're fucking.

He's sexy, that's fun. There's some jokes that you might like. There's an iconic line. You know, hey, the knife line we're still saying fucking 40 years out. That's true. I mean, yeah, it's not without its charms, but the screenplay is abysmal. To your point, it's engineless, but it is

essentially it's a rom-com that doesn't know it's a rom-com. It refuses to say it is. Like, they should be... For bloke's a rom-com for bloke. Yes, but they should be in love by the time they leave Australia. That you should be going to New York to say,

I'm in love with this guy, I don't like this anymore. There might be a little Joey on the way. But this is what's weird, though, also, the other end of it is like Mick Dundee doesn't give a shit whether or not he winds up with this woman, right? Because like... Until the very end. Sure. But like they kiss in the outback, right?

At the end of this way too long... I mean, you're not in New York City until like 35 minutes into this movie. No, 42. Is it 40? Yeah. So she, they have this kiss or whatever. You think, oh, like, right on or whatever. And then like when they get to the airport and she kisses the fucking editor dude, he's kind of just like, all right.

Exactly. You know what? That could have been a chunk. Oh, so that's America, so then he starts kissing every woman. It would be better than what he does get up to a little later on in this motion picture. That's true. He does a little thing that Trump used to talk about. She is definitely interested from the get-go, though, because I'm sorry. You do not, you woke up that morning and you put on this swimsuit, and he's around you.

You wanted him to see this swimsuit. I'm sure of it. I mean, you're right because, like, for what other reason are we getting into this hot-ass Spathing suit. Voyeurism was huge in the 80s. I think it was... We invented it. It was huge, you know, like you had George McFly, and there were beloved voyers, and the

fact that there's an extended peeping Tom segment of this is just wild. I'm peeping on him. It's like, here's our hero, and he's watching you dress. And it's a good damn thing. He did peep errors. It's a defensive peep. This is a peeper's defense movie. So whatever, they get it.

Look, there's this guy who's just like, just, fat guy with glasses, just like, oh, he's just a bloody poucher he is. He's like talking shit to Dundee, and Dundee punches this guy out. And she's already found out that the story is mostly bullshit, because he still has his leg. And he's like, oh, I got a love bite or whatever. It's just like, oh, okay. So that's

a lot different than losing your leg all together. A dog beat you twice. Yes. He's wasted. He's getting into bar fights. And she's like, yeah, I'll go into the bush with this guy for seven days or whatever the fuck it is. He's hot. It's a great way to get fucking vanished. Well, you know what? Buried alive.

Her dad, I forget the actor's name, but he's a very accomplished dad, but he's a little homely. You need an attractive daddy here. It's true, yeah. He looks like the grandfather in Back to the Future, but it's not, who the hell is John F. Kennedy? Yeah, it's not that guy. You guys, there's Michael Lombard about something like that. Oh, that sounds right. I did look it up, by the way, because I wanted to see, like, what else was in contention.

Sure, yeah, yeah. So this wound up being the 1987 Oscars. also nominated Oliver Stone for Platoon. Good. Hanif Qureshi for my beautiful laundrette. Good. And then here we go. Paul Hogan, Ken Shady, John Cornell, story by Paul Hogan, Crocodile Dundee. And then the winner, the Woodman, Hannah and her sisters.

You know what is? It is a good script. I hate to tell you. It's a better script than Crocodile Dundee. I just don't like the ink he was dipping his pen in when he was writing that. Correct what Eric said. Yes. But so, yeah, it's like, all right, tomorrow, we're going to go on this trip.

I will take you in, and we'll see all the play. Again, it's a bullshit story. I guess, like, the idea is maybe she's trying to prove that it's bullshit or I'm, I'm unclear as to this story. There's no angle to this story. Exactly. I'm unclear as to what the journalistic part of this is. Which is also funny.

If it is a, the story is I'm going to call bullshit, like, so here's this big, is American journalist comes here. Just fucking blows up this common. man's spot. This guy's been dining out on that story for decades. And you're just going to like make it your life's mission to ruin it? I forget in the sequel, do we ever get

maybe a flat, going back to Wally in Australia? Never, never so far as must be getting business out to ass. Oh, sure. Yeah. If they had this in Newsday, it's a crocodile man. Yeah, exactly. I think Wally is in that second one. The second one, she gets in trouble with the mafia

for some reason. It sounds like a movie at least. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's more of a movie than this one, I think. There's some urgency to it. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. I remember it being more boring than this one. Because the fish out of the water stuff is the most compelling parts of this. And going the other way, you already had 40 minutes of her being the fish out of water in the first movies. Who Gives a shit at this point?

And you know, to be fair, I forget so much of that second movie, for all I know, they're having great fun. I don't know. They could be having great fun. It is also weird that while it doesn't go with them, look, if I'm this report, Porterwoman, like, I'd kind of want the third guy there. You know what I mean? You still, even though like you speak the same language technically and all that stuff, you want your boots

on the ground guy all the same, like, why don't you come helper monkey in the form of a man? Like, let's, you know, like after he's got, babysitter. He drinks an entire six pack of those giant fosters, you know, you might need this guy to pull him off of you at some point. You never know. He might be a, it might be a

Australian chainsaw mask or situation where the old kindly guy is in on it. But at least you want to fight that out. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He was always good at holding the sledge. Yeah.

What was that the, what's, there's, there's sort of an Australian chainsaw massacre movie. Wolf Creek, is that what it's called? Oh, well, that's like, I don't know what you would call it. Is that down under? I think it's down under, but it's like a guy, it's like a chase movie. It's like all dread. Oh, there's chase. Oh, I thought it was.

She's like running in the outback. Like, she's lost out in the outback and a guy is hunting her. Oh, okay. I bet there's a lot of documentaries like that down there, too, right? That's probably happening every day. But for all she knows, he could be the bad guy in road games. Who knows? Another great Australian.

Yeah, that was pretty good. That was sort of a fish out of water where we take two American actors and put them in Australia. For no reason. Why? Yeah, exactly. But yeah, this is we get a little background on him here as they set off the next day. And it's like, yeah, crocodile is just a nickname to drum up my tourist business thing. This is the, I don't know how old I am because I was raised by Aboriginal people.

Sure. Don't worry. I was just born in summertime. Right. No, just don't worry about it, sweetheart. Exactly. I'm not 60 years old. Who said that? Don't put that to paper. This is a great, is there a Mrs. Crocodile, Dundee, to which he responds. He was married once. She was a good cook and had huge tits, but somehow it just didn't work out. Yeah, okay. He killed her.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah, one of them, one of them swamp tours. I went on a walkabout. Why did you go out of walk? Oh, she was dead. Had to bear her body. 18 months, dude, that is the exact. exact amount of time it takes for the heat to go down. Yeah, there's no verification that this woman is alive. No,

exactly, no. There isn't. He just tells a story that he used to be married. Yeah, they called me Crocodile Monroe back then, then I went to Crocodile that day. Good thing half of the people back here are named crocodile. He was able to hide out pretty well. That's a fucking movie, though.

He has to escape to America where he becomes fucking Alligator Johnson. Clearly, he's like, he's like, I've been to a city, and the Melbourne PD is like, oh, you're talking about the crocodile. The crocodile has killed 15 women in Melbourne.

Dude, he's the Jack the Ripper of Down Under, dude. But to your point about Alligator Johnson, that would have been great in the sequel, right? Like, how about it's like Crocodile? A brother or something. No, versus like one of our creole guys. Oh, dude. We're our Cajun.

And we just lost him, but Alligator Johnson could have been played by Joe Don Baker. Oh, absolutely. We went on a, when I was in Nalans for my honeymoon, we went on a fun crocodile tour there. So you have any fosters with that? Alligator-Johns? We did with this big fat.

It looked exactly like Larry the Cable guy, but with a great Creole accent. Oh, awesome. We were on the boat with him and stuff. He had a little gator called Fluffy that he enjoyed. Enjoyed? Yes. In what way?

There were friends. Oh, I see. Sex. Yeah, sex, sex. Yeah, sex stuff. Oh, actually, by the way, this movie, they added, if you'll notice, It's quotation marks, Crocodile Dundee. Sure, yep.

That's for the international market because they were afraid that people outside of Australia would think he was actually a crocodile. You're going to, to be fair, if I'm buying a ticket to Crocodile's like, so the crocodile like talking? Why is the crocodile not talking? I thought it would be a crock in sunglasses,

maybe enrolls in college or something. Right, because Kangaroo Jack did. Yeah, it's exactly. That's right. They didn't need no quotation marks around that kangaroo for that movie. You put a fucking crocodile on a skateboard. You know, the dean is after him. Traditionally, our talking and, you know, radical animals have one name.

It's a bingo. Milo and Otis. They don't usually have proper last names. They're not. So you know what? I think they just thought everybody was stupid, which is fine. By the way, RIP to the 15 Milo 15 Otis is. It went down on that picture.

Buried in a mass grave right outside the front of the other. love that movie as a child, and then you find out that all the, they were tortured concerts. Oh yeah, yeah. Just tortured. And it brought out great performances. Like Michael Mann making a fucking horse TV show here like this. So,

this is where we get a little bit of that fucking magic I was talking about. Because he is just speeding down this road and he almost completely bashes into this water buffalo. And he gets out of the car and just does the hand motion that all I can think about was Bart when he's taking the karate classes.

And he's like, yeah, I'm doing the touch of death. And he's almost devil horns, but you're using your thumb instead of your head of your thumb and your pinky finger there. What is the point of this? This water buffalo is blocking the road. He gets out there, does that thing to its eyes, makes it lay down and go to sleep. Still in the middle of the road. Exactly.

I don't know. Could you just drive around it anyway? I need to see that international cut. I guarantee they drive over it. They're eating it later? I don't know if that car has that pickup. I do wonder, I mean, also, by the way, this. water bottle flow was drugged, which is kind of hilarious.

Oh, great. Oh, really? Yeah, that's how they got it down. They just fucking drugged it. Nice. Because, like, I, like, this is some weatery do. You're supposed to, like, be, this is supposed to be the tough guy stuff. Yeah, sure. You take them by the horns. And if you, and I guess they just didn't want to do, like, to trick photographs to, like, he has, like, a pair of horns in his hands and it's close up. Let's just, you're wrestling a puppet. Yeah. That's the Aboriginal magic stuff. Right. Yeah. Because she's like, what the fuck? And he's like, oh, it's an old Bushman's trick. And I was

like, is it? It's the least exciting magic I got. We got to start slow here. Mind over matter, right? No. At this point, Wally leaves her alone with him, which again, I'd be like, Wally, you're not coming on this trip? Yes. A deeper into the bush here, man. Because it's like, oh, no, he's got to, he's got to hang back and run my tourism business. But he's the tour guide. What does he do with Pant Bills? Probably. Making all the reservations for all the

other people who are coming on these safaris. You need someone to, like, sleep and shifts, like watches. Not just because he's dangerous, but you never know what's out. I mean, she goes to lay down. A fucking snake comes out of nowhere in two seconds. But I've got Instagram with the guys. She has a swimsuit on. She wants this.

I 100% she's showing this. Maybe she wants that big leathery dick, but she doesn't want a lethal snake bite. Well, I'm willing to die for this crazy leather man. I see. The snake comes down, she starts stroking it. Oh, Mick, right? She thinks it's the guy. And she's like, oh, Mick, you taught it to talk.

Somebody somewhere must have been upset because they answered an ad for a leather daddy and it's just some fucking old guy from Florida. Oh, that's not what I am. Damn it. So we got some slang here that I guess they were like Americans can figure this one out or whatever. They're walking along and he's like, all right, it's going to be another hour until we get there. But since Yara Sheila, it's probably going to. Take three, you fucking lousy

woman. There are so many instances of Sheila. Doesn't it sound like Valley speak? Like, oh my God, she's a total Sheila. It does. Yeah, I mean... What a fucking Sheila she was being at the mall. It's a very catty thing to say. Right? It is. Like, later when he gets to America and he's

they're trying to order food, he's like, I'll just have what that fat Sheila over there is having. Yes, that fat Sheila, my God. This is what we're doing. I need to meet the original Sheila. And like, she's probably a goddess who lives out in the outback. I think that's their Adam and Eve out there in Australia. I would need

to see that. Making Sheila. The first inmates. Or maybe she's the bartender. That would be great. And the talking snake taught them to, you know, whatever. Do you think that they did, you know, that awful horror movie Karen a couple of years ago when that phrase was being running

down the ground? Oh, Jesus. I forgot all about it. What is this? Is this from the Ma universe? Probably. I also did not see Ma. No, but I feel like. I feel like a lot of cultural moments are passing me by. I never saw it, but it's just miserable, and I hated that meme anyway. But do you think that there's a Sheila horror movie in Australia?

Probably, yes. You know what, it's probably better than Ma. And Karen. And Karen. And Karen is one of the, the woman for orange is the new black, I want to say. There's a few in there. Yeah. The grungy pencil tucky one, I think, was a character name.

Oh, Pensatucky, yes. Yeah, that girl plays white trash good. Yeah, she does. Oh, she was the titular Karen. I believe so. I think you're right. Now, this is kind of coming together a little bit here. She was calling the cops on you.

Yeah, exactly. It's somebody. This is, they find the, he's like, oh, this is the site of my boat. Normally, the water's, like, much higher up here. This is the dry season. And the weird thing is, she, again, in the poking holes in the idea, because he's like, yeah, here I was, just fishing. She's like, you were fishing, but then you killed a crocodile because you had your knife on you.

And he's like, well, yeah. And it's like, obviously, she's hurt in the bar. the crocodile poacher. Yes. Like that never comes to a head or like we don't answer whether or not crocodile poaching is good or bad.

Yeah. It's bad, but she doesn't care because he's hot. That's what it is. Yeah, it's like, and it's weird because for the audience

you're like, oh man, this guy's a poacher. Fuck that shit. And just by like universal movie language, poachers are bad. Yes.

And he also has, he's got no. Even his belt is ivory. Like, you know what I mean? He's got no morals at all. Later in the film, we'll get there but when there's the kangaroo shootout

he doesn't give a fuck he's like they can these city boys can come here and just shoot all the wildlife there's no law against our hero ladies also like if you if you are saying like you're proclaiming to be like raised by Aboriginal people like people of the land and whatever like by that definition like that this character should give a shit about that stuff like the environmentalism the animal rights of it all brings up like the Aboriginal rights over the land and stuff they don't own the land

Land owns them Yeah So I own this land I own them Way to break your back To like give a non-committed response To me we can talk about it now Because she's like

It's also it's a part of a great moment Because it's like the first night It's before she gets bit The snake thing Or maybe it's right after it whatever It's it's that night over the fire Because it's also the She starts the whole thing

With trying to ask him about What do he thinks about stuff Of the world And she's like What about the arms race And he's like No man it to me What do I care about

Nuclear Proliferation Worst case in air, it's a man-mex situation. I'll be all right. I'm a libertarian. Because she starts by saying her ex-boyfriend or whatever was a big. He marched for women's lib. He was against the nukes. And then she's like, I don't know, probably right now he's marching for the gay Nazis or something.

What the fuck does that mean? Yeah. She's just marching for the gay Nazis. Marching for Nick Fuentes? Yeah. What? Someone needs to. How?

It's a way of this movie, you know, in the Reagan era, dismissing protesting. We've protested so much in America that nothing means anything more. Oh, yeah, I guess you're protesting for gay Nazis. No, actually, marching for women's liberation, marching against nuclear proliferation. I don't know.

I think we pushed it over the line with the aid stuff. I really do. I think that was where we really went overboard. It was a little annoying when we protested the AIDS crisis. All that quilt shit, what was that? Hands across the world.

Don't touch me. Stay away from Australia with your hands across the world. That's what us was actually all about. she does ask you know like blah blah what do you believe in the nuclear thing and then she's like what about Aboriginal rights they're wanting them wanting the land back

well they don't belong to they don't own the land the land the land belongs they belong to the land it's like and they're trying to get like a spiritual like you know like what that's what he's not saying is someone does own the land thank you someone owns the fucking land and is restricting their access to it

that is what we're talking about that's the issue just say no one should own it It should be like a preserve or whatever God damn I don't know So you're gonna take land from a good white person And give it to one of them

But it's this weird thing Who also raised me by the way And I have magical They in the same breath though They have him sort of both sides Because he has all that shit about like Well no one owns the land Because we're all citizens of earth

Or like whatever it is right And then he's like But also Aboriginal people should be left to live in place And like they use it as a joke because he grabs the snake out of nowhere at that point and breaks its neck just right there after saying it. The whole thing is like

it's like well you know what? Gay people and Jewish people and Nazis should be able to live together it's not like anyone has a fundamental part of that belief that says the extinction of the other one. Like what the fuck is wrong with you man? It's just

it's because it is libertarian horse shit. It's just sort of like I'm going to my business I'm going to say out of it because everything's going my way. If he can't see the injustice with his own eyes, he doesn't give a shit. And they try to like sympathize that too because she has some question like it's like, don't you want, you know, don't you feel like raising your voice to these issues or whatever it is? And he's just like, well, who's going to hear my little old voice out here? I'm just a little nobody in the middle of nowhere.

Little old McDundee. Like, fuck you. I hate this guy. But so yes, in the night, because again, as Wikipedia describes it as an action comedy. question mark sure there is gunshots she wakes up in shock Dundee is gone and she's like

oh great I'm going to get murdered yep and no she's like be quiet just a couple of city boys just shooting Kang just got to let him get it out of the system it winds up being the same guys from the bar I believe it is

yeah right right right right there's a back and forth dialogue here that's like what are you going to do nothing why he's just like I'm watching Kangis die It's like, dude, you are the hero of this movie. You got to save them, Kangis. No, they're deadery roos now. They're part of the land.

They don't own the land. They should be shot. When he begrudgingly, like, at her request, because she's horrified that he's not doing anything. When he begrudgingly does something, was I watching this right? Yes. He picks up the dead corpse of the kangaroo. Correct. As a bullet shield.

And makes it look like it's using a rifle on these guys. Yes. It's funny. It's cute. Very much an end of. of the old man and the Lisa thing. That was exactly what I didn't want you to do with this situation. But it's also weird because he's just, like, he's firing back at these people and, like, you know,

shooting their glasses off and stuff. It's like, you could kill any one of these guys with any one of these shots. That would be dark out. Like, you know what I mean? And then they have to bury it, you know, and hide it. I love this one dude. We get the name on one of these guys, Trevor. Yeah, because I think he's the loudmouthed with a bar.

They'll be the guy of the glasses. Yeah, and he jumps down to, like, take a piss off. the truck or whatever. Pisserie do. Oh, Pisri-Due, excuse me. And he's just wearing a sign or a hat that just says a sports lover across. Yes.

That was pretty great. A good non-committal sports hat like that. Very funny. But this movie absolutely could turn into, like, and that would actually be pretty good if like these kangaroo poach, they kill one of them and now him and her are on the run from them. Like, and you know, like, then we're doing something and like, you know, like they're kind of

systematically killing all of them so they could make it out to Wally alive at the end of the film? That would be a movie I'd watch. At the very least, I want him when, after they scare off the poachers and she comes to him and they're holding each other, I need his hands to be covered in blood. You killed Rue. Rue is dead now

and you have, and you manhandled the corpse. That little guy wasn't even cold yet, man. Desecrate the body. We love that down here. The next morning they get into a man-woman argument. Oh, I love basically. I'm going as slow as I can because with a

Sheila, you, and he's like, you wouldn't make it out here. You wouldn't last five minutes, is what he said. He wouldn't steal a cow, would you? But she's like, oh, we're going to that ridge over there. And she's like, I'll see you in an hour or whatever. And like, I wouldn't do this. I'm a grown-ass man. If I'm with a guide in the Australian fucking outback,

I'm okay being like this guy can tell me I'm a fucking loser. He just snatched a fucking king brown goddamn snake that was crossing my fucking leg. Well, you see what happened here was she showed. him that she has an aptitude for firearms because she like takes the gun and he's like oh better be careful with that and like she shoots at his feet and she's like oh got it or what I see the thing is it's a bit hot in my life

it's good what they're doing here because it could be way more annoying it could be like Temple of Doom yes at least she's not screaming all the time but again to go back to my like the thesis argument for me against this movie I saw a trailer in where a dude from down under goes to the aisle of Manhattan and I'm still not there

Because literally that first night is all you need. The next day, maybe they hold each other and they kiss and it's like, to your point, yes, in a romantic comedy situation, here's my crazy Australian boyfriend. Now we're having fun. So he's like sneakily following her in the trees. Oh, yes, right.

But because like it's proven, you know what, she shouldn't have done this. You know, it was, she would have died. She would have died if she actually had done this and he hadn't stalked him. You better be thankful for my peeping or else you'd be decapitating. it's not like I was just following your luscious ass

I mean and speaking of luscious ass dude like she just strips down to this bathing suit and I was like the fuck you bring that for in the first place were you planning on swimming but only a G string would be worse like that's the only situation I'm like what the fuck are you doing this old man is now pleasuring himself in the bushes

watching this happen he's just jerking off with a tree like a spider monkey dude he's just really going for it having a jerkery do yeah and out down under you come you come on a bunch of spot us. Which is kind of great because she goes on her own and then like, yeah, she's like, I got to be sexy for a little while. Like, I'm going to go. I'm on this because the idea is like, I can just walk to that ridge. Why are you taking to swim? You don't know what the fucks. You

know that there are crocs. The story you've been told. The man you're hanging out with is named crocodile. And maybe she knows she's being watched and putting on her show. But then again, it's not clear. It feels creepy. It feels super creepy. And then he comes out of nowhere with his huge knife and murder it's a well hey the the the crock puppet coming out popping out of the water is fucking hilarious dude this is something out of a universal studios ride like it is really unbelievable how's it going like it does not work at all it's very funny what does she have around her neck that the thing bites is it a camera or something maybe it's a camera she's got something around her neck that the crocodile jumps out of the water to get her and latches onto that

because it's like pulling her and then yeah he jumps down like tarzan except his tarzan noise is way lame. It's like a ur. And he stabs this thing in the head like hardcore Peter Pan or something. Pretty cool. And then they all come. They hold each other here. And then all the cummy spiders come out. And he says at some point, maybe it was before

this, that snakes give him gas. Oh, that's when he breaks the snake and he's like, oh, these are good eating, but they usually give me gas. I start fat and real bad when I eat these snakes. Hiss is at the buck. I'm a manly man, ain't I? Fatten and whatnot.

so yeah whatever the next day you know she's like oh you're right this definitely is no place for a city girl so they pork then right is that the idea I feel like every time it goes to black they have to get each other hand jobs yeah something's happening I don't know what's happening but something's happening there's a very

funny like George Lucas esk transition right here because it just goes like from from that scene with the crock like oh wow you stabbed it in the brain great it does a total like iris into the next scene it's not an iris to black It's not an iris out or an iris and it's just an iris over the last shot to bring us to this, which is like they have the conversation about like, oh, you've never been to a city, Mick, here's a crazy idea. Why don't you come back to New York with me? Yeah. And, you know, you can, you can be my little science experiments. Well, also, there's the big Aboriginal scene because it's at night, they're hanging out. Yes, he comes. Yeah, this dude comes up here. The actor's name is David Gulp Hill. He's in walkabout. He's been in a ton of things. He's since passed away. The proposition.

Oh, right, yes. Oh, really? He's in Australia and whatever they did in 2023 of recutting Australia as far away down. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Whatever that is. Far away down. This is the Boslerman? Yes.

It's like a longer cut. They turned it to do a six-episode mini-series. Chris and I saw this at a press screening. And I've never seen. Not the recut, the original. No, the original. And I have never in my life seen Eric so pissed off. It was rough, man.

He was so furious. Wow, really? I never saw it. Oh, my God. So what was the problem? Too majestic? It's so long. Actually, Hugh Jackman was huge in it, so that was majestic.

That was nice. It's just really dull. And even though, like, the photography is good, it's just so boring. And then it's like, ah, the Japanese are coming or whatever. You know, laws are coming. And it's a big sweeping drama. I'm sorry. Oh, I see.

And global, like, it's not what Boslerman does. He does personal stories. Like, I don't know, man. And glitz and glamour. Six episodes of bullshit. I don't know. No. But yeah,

so this guy, this guy has worked a ton. And, like, you know, at first she's like, it's kind of a fun little guy. She's like, can I take your picture?

And he's like, no, because I think it's going to steal my soul. He's like, no, because you got a lens cap on. So you're like,

he's like hip, you know what I mean? Like bucking those stereotypes, which is good for a moment. He's introduced walking towards them like he's Jason Voorheet. Yeah, to be fair.

Like that's part of the joke. But when we see him again, he's in blue jeans, shirtless, and he's got a watch on. So, yeah, they're acknowledging that this is still part of the modern world. Yes, exactly, exactly. But then he's,

Dundee is like, got to go with my buddy here because just something you can't see outside as can't see it. And like, you know, David Gulpill like did the choreography for this Aboriginal, you know, dance sequence here and everything. And like, wouldn't it be cool to learn literally anything about it?

Yes. You know what I mean? Like, it's a legit thing. You can tell just by looking at it that it's like, It's choreographed legitimately. Or have it not in the movie. You know what I mean? It's either one or the other. Make him a bigger character. Give him to Wally.

Yeah, exactly. Maybe David Gulpil comes to Manhattan also. I'm sorry, but then we are talking about two and a half hours of Crocodile Dundee. I cannot stand that. That will not happen. What if I broke it into six episodes for you? What would that do? You know what?

You said that? That, to me, sounds like Bosler was getting out of a Netflix deal because he had that Netflix series. And they probably signed him on for extra stuff. and he's like, well, why don't I just cut one of my, I have so much extra footage from Australia. Oh, wow. Maybe I just turn it into a series.

Wait, he had a Netflix TV show? Yeah, yeah. It's about the Bronx with the rap. It was a graffiti show. I forget what it was. The something. Yes. There's a lot of dancing. Oh, okay. The something. Oh, okay. That narrows it.

So anyway, yeah, he's like, you know, where the ladies aren't allowed. You can't come in. father and like he just fucks off into the woods he runs after neville and uh she comes along and you know she's spying them from afar and there's mick just sitting there watching all this thank god paul hoagin's not participating in the dancing he's just watching he does have some face pain on right like a kid at a carnival he's got to yeah exactly i got a cool butterfly on the cheek look i'm a tiger and uh if this were some sort of australian horror movie right like because they kind of film it this way she's spying on

them and then they have a shot of Paul Hogan and his menacing glare catches her looking at them? It looks like he's going to kill her. Yes. And I was like, oh, this would be the takeoff for the Crocodile Dundee horror movie right now. By the way, I told you, you can't see this. I checked. There is no money on the table. There's been no Sheila horror movie. As far as letterbox is concerned.

You were looking that up and not the Baselerman? I was on the table. I thought he was getting it. That's the get down. Oh, the get down. Okay, I did hear of this. I had no idea Baz Luhrman had anything to do with it. So, yes, he spies her. She runs away. This look, by the way. Oh, okay. Reminded me of a movie. If we, I need to watch this again. I was too fucking drunk when I first watched this.

Oh. Look up this movie. Last Gasp with Robert Patrick. You look at the cover. It's because it's a very similar. It's not from Australia. It's Native Americans. Oh, that's tough. But he's got like, he's got very similar face paint. Oh, I see. And it's got the glit.

the same glare. Okay. But you listen to the synopsis of this movie. Oh, yeah, though. This is a nice movie. That's a poster you don't want. A ruthless real estate developer is possessed by the violent spirits of the Native American tribesmen. He massacred, which forced him to go on an indiscriminate killing spree against his will.

I get to see this movie immediately. I get to see this movie immediately. Look at this fucking poster. I know. He looks like he should be a fucking problematic wrestling character in the 90s. Folks at home, there's going to be a changing programming for next week. Oh, my God. No, for the rest of the episode.

We're going to pause here. We'll watch it, I guess. Pause now, come back, and we will continue on with the last gasp. God, that looks awesome. And we're back. We just watched the last gas. No, we did not. Boy, was that racist.

So he says to her, you know, she's like, oh, you know, I'm sorry. How'd you know, I was going to spy on you or whatever. He goes, you're a woman, you're a reporter. That makes you the biggest busy body in the world. Yikes. Rocket out, then Dundee, I think I'll keep him. He's cute. He's a poacher, too. They make out, I think, at one point, right?

Yeah, there's kissing somewhere. They're having lunch and, like, this is what she's like, I would like you to come back to New York with me. They make out a little bit. Oh, this is there at Echo Lake. This is where he has killed a lizard that he's charing on the fire for them to eat. This big dodongo looking thing. He's got calloused hands, callous feet, callous tongue, I imagine.

absolutely the tongue is leathery too i bet right yeah it's like making out with a lizard of some sort and i think also the amps up the horniness here which which then forces her she can't contain it anymore like i have to ask the dude to come back with me we do a little sexy mineral water pool swimming right here he's like he's like oh you see that there that's mineral water no crocodiles in that water cut to them just sexily swimming yeah oh yeah at least hand stuff Steve is absolutely correct and the weird thing is so like any dipper you do that's they we cut to the end of the trip it's been you know it's in a couple days and wally's like oh how to go and she's like oh i got the greatest fucking story in the world no i didn't but

i'm also bringing him back and wallie's like i don't think that this is why i think he's his pimps he's like i don't think crocodile d's going anyway she's like i'll pay for it it's like okay well as long as money do's involved his sweet ass is staying here exactly i got some other ladies coming up the creek in a couple of weeks Yeah, but so that he's just right away like, yeah, fine. It's not super nervous. It's not anxious. It's not excited.

Yeah, fine. I'll just do this huge life-changing trip. Because that's the problem with most of the fish. Because in the beginning, it's actually fun, I think. Well, he's like saying hello to saying gooday to everybody. Like he doesn't understand it. What he's talking to the guy. You know what I mean?

Like those bits are fun because he's actually the butt of the joke. But more often than not New York is the butt of the joke. And that's, and not as a New Yorker, but just as, as, as something, you know what I mean? In a fish out of water story, the fish is the joke, not the water. Thank you. That's exactly the point. Yeah, it becomes weird. I do like, as the plane's taking off, you just hear, Jesus Christ.

First class, by the way, not too shabby, dude. Absolutely. But this is, and from here, right, like the Jesus Christ, this is a jet plane, which, like, could go either way, because sure you're nervous first time flyer. But also, let's not forget, once we get to New York, like, they're making him like an encino man. Yes, absolutely. There's no one that an escalator is. They had to have had that at the city airport or something, right? Like, oh my God.

What are the stairs are moving? I'll better stab him. We get, yeah, the great New York skyline from, you know, 85. We got the towers here. Everything's looking great. We are met at the airport by our fellow here, and he just goes at this editor-boyfriend cuck guy and he's like, so that's Jungle Jim

and he's like great. Dude, I mean, your girlfriend is gone for a couple weeks on a spurious story with this dude she's bringing him back. I'm sorry. They have, it has to be an open thing. Like there's no fucking that this was allowed, that she's bringing him back. Are you fucking

out of your mind? I think this guy though, what's his name Robert? Probably. Richard. Richard. I think that guy is just so high on his own supply. that he's like, well, there's whatever, like, yeah, she knows where her fucking bread's butter, baby. He's

like a waspy guy. Why would you ever go for the Bushman guy? Big so and so at Newsday. Yeah, yeah, he gets the flame and yon, but I get the buffet and I can go back and my leg. And, yeah, so the, the, the

get the limo, get the limo, here goes with the great Reginal Val Johnson. Hell yes, Gus, the limo driver here. We're taken to where else because it's, it's a New York City set movie and we got to show Swanky Hotels or the Plaza Hotel until 99

essentially. Then we were like yeah let's find some new ones but if the movie set in New York you got to have a wacky line about the population we always need to check in on got to do that 7 million people all living together must be the friendliest place fuck you

fuck you I do yeah but he does stop a guy on traffic he's like oh yeah it's like oh how you doing man and he's like oh the guy's like just a Wall Street guy and he's like guess I'll be seeing you later because I'll be around that's very funny to me Yes oh you work

I guess I'll be seen I'm in town for a few days Guess I'll be seeing you around By the way did we catch who this dude is here I can't remember the guy's name He's a character actor who I recognize All the way back to he's just one of the guys In the Warriors

When they go He's the head of the orphans Oh right The like the really low level Oh you're on orphan's turf now And the warriors are like uh huh He's the I always recognize Because he had like a lazy eye or whatever

I didn't even think character actor. I didn't even think about it, but this is kind of a reverse opening of dumb and dumber. Yeah, it is, yes. The Austrians in the car trying to talk to the American outside the car. We call it a reverse dumb and dumber,

of course. But I do, I mean, like, and again, like, what's not so fun is when he goes into Reginald Vell Johnson and asks him what tribe he's from. And like, yeah. So we're saying Blackfeller along. Yeah. Yeah. Blackfeller. And he's like, and like, Reginaldwell Johnson, you know,

it's his job he's like fuck no I'm not from a tribe actually I'm a person I'm from the Bronx warlords or something Harlem Warlords yeah is what he says later in the movie but this is just a weird like oh because I grew up in a small remote

part of Australia I'm unfamiliar with the transatlantic slave trade yeah right what are you fucking talking about? There's so many parts where we're doing Encino Man where it's like he turns on the TV at the hotel and he's like I did this once and it was it was yep it was i love loose he turns it off again yet later in the film he references the

events in the movie jaws yes he has seen jaws but thinks tv is still black and white sitcom i also was i was confused i drive a truck through that plot here i would have guessed you and be like oh my god some some magic man shrunk the people down and they're running around like i wouldn't be surprised if that was his reaction he scared of it when you turn it on yeah louisier brothers He's throwing Aaron We gotta get these little

people out of this big wooden box They're stuck in there There's a Cuban feller yelling at a white lady A tiny little Cuban fella They must be avenged

What tribes he from? He's offended By the content He's slipping her around I'm gonna get him Speaking of all that Of all the things I kind of like

Well I need to understand More about parts of this movie The one thing I don't want to know Anything about Is he refers to The only TV in Australia he knows is from his buddy Darkie Johnson and I have a lot

of questions and I because of the way he talks to people who are. Oh well that was yeah it was Darkie Johnson's television is where he previously saw I love Lucy. That was the one time he's seen a TV before. So like she drops them off and a massive suite at the plaza by the way like Home Alone 2

shit here. Newsday is just burned money like you just get this guy in a fucking holiday in downtown and what are you talking about? And then of course like he's washing his socks with his ass at the same time. He uses the knife on the wall to like hang

up and dry his socks. He doesn't know what a bidet is which is. Also the fact there's a bidet in an American fucking institution was very odd to me. I mean maybe because there's like international travelers and a suite at the plaza. It kind of makes sense. By the way I don't understand how people

don't use a bidet. I mean it's just the best. It's really it's changed my life. I mean I hate shit in anywhere but my toilet that has one frankly i wish i had a separate bidet itself that looks like the height of luxury that's the real i mean you're sitting on a real rocket with that thing i'm a toilet hybrid i like a little bit of one little bit of paper i got to tell you folks at home start blasting your ass i got to change your life i'm just wiping my ass the old-fashioned way the way that uh you got

you're just moving it around man you got to up your game you got to give your asshole a little shower hey man i never got any blinks Hey, by the way, speaking of Home Alone 2 in the Plaza Hotel or whatever, did you notice this movie that was released in 1986 several years before a certain Plaza Hotel set sequel? We're doing a, the guest doesn't understand tipping the bell-hop joke. Oh, John Hughes, you went to the movies that year, my friend. No, he doesn't do it because he's conservative.

That's why she did. He's like, why, he's all of my bakes. because he the bell hop like sticks his hand out and he thinks it's like a hand show oh mc dundee nice to meet you is this in the carl winslow cinematic universe is this free or post diehard this is pre two years before die hard so me i bet you they saw this and they're like you know what he's got a guy he can deal with someone he's got it this is a huge movie number two yeah that's nuts so it's crazy for 80 86 is number two ever at the box office that's that is i think i think i think the number one of the bikes of

is that year was platoon. And that's back in a time when you could have a movie in the theater for like half a year. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they just sit there.

You just, and you just pick up one little cultural trend and you can ride that fucker. Like, uh, the, uh, look who's talking movies.

Babies are cute. Cool. Good to go. Yep. A billion dollars. How about a guy from Australia, billion dollars? Yeah.

And then we kept trying it. Yahoo! Serious. Yes. Uh, uh, uh, but even like a three men and a baby.

Yeah. Uh, men. dealing with the baby of a billion dollars. But to Eric's point, it's funny because we always talk, you know, we've mentioned on this show several times, the 1980s American pop culture obsession with Japanese stuff. Speaking of diehard, funny enough.

But what doesn't go talk about enough is our Aussie fever of the same exact time. Not quite Hollywood. Really good doc. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah, really good doc. Absolutely. So he decides to go out of the street on his own.

She drops us off. We're going to have dinner together. And like, Tacinos, I'm thinking. For three, Richard, three, my smell guy is coming. My smelly guy. I'm bringing my smell guy to dinner. I want them to go there and be like, okay, sir, yes, Mr. Dundee, sit here. And Mr. Charlton, sit here, please.

And your chair is over here in the corner. We will be, it's a separate table, and we will be bringing your food to you. And you can yell across the room if you would like. Don't worry, Richard. It's the same tab, but you just have to sit over there and watch him eat with her. And meet her. Feed her with the fork. Make it romantic.

I got it. I got it. Mr. Dundee, take your fucking hat off at dinner. How about it, huh? Yeah, you know? What a pig. It's an American restaurant.

He thinks it's as Sparrow's. He's like, fuck this. The guy from past lives gets the same deal, and he's picking up the check in that movie, dude. That guy. He's at that bar. He's picking up the check at the far. I'm like, I don't think so.

Poor Joe. That's a real, we'll all put a card down scenario. At best. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's split it up. So he gets this like

It's yeah This is such a weird And they don't even play it up as much right Like he gets all freaked out Because there's so many people in the sidewalk That he jumps up like a After a fucking Nick game Yeah

He's up on the street sign And this cop on a horse comes by Yes And the gag is he gets a ride back To the plaza with this cop on the horse And it's like I need a little more of like Oh terrifying It's more terrified than the outback

Horsary do I mean the cop returns His gigantic knife as well well when he gets that's white privilege right there man absolutely yeah if fucking Gus was on horseback there dude I don't think he's getting a knife back he'd be dead already I do love the doorman

this doorman character horrified in this moment what they don't play up here I'm pretty sure this doorman character here this is the first Jewish person McDundee has ever met his life little nebish aren't you but yes we do go to Katakana's

it's kind of great because I mean the weird thing I was just thinking about this today too like it's a 21 hour flight you know what I mean and maybe there's a stopover these people are exhausted no one's going to dinner tonight this is a real like you get room service I'll talk to you tomorrow yep exactly here's the menu all you do

is pick up this phonery do and they will bring you foodily do and I'll see you tomorrow time difference is insane it is insane you definitely do that go down to famous rairie dues and get a slice and you'll be fine well he tried to but he walked

five feet on the sidewalk and got us scared and had to have a cop take him home But you get to Ciccanos, Richard is half in the back. Because again, this guy's wasted. These cocktails look terrible, by the way. Like milk with a cherry in it. I'll tell you what, we're drinking a lot of martinis in this movie. Those are fine.

But they look so shittily put together, too, on top of whatever those drinks were that they're making. You see that at the start of it. Well, for so long, we didn't put them in the stem. We did those little ones. And I'm like, no. A little, the tiny tumbler deal, which is not a great idea. I have to, like, make myself a real martini. I'm looking at these prop shit martinis after this.

It's kind of great because he's like, I've been here. a while and then she like kisses him she goes oh boy you have been here a while yeah this guy got there early yeah well because I mean like again like he's like I guess I have to have dinner with the man that my wife is fucking my girlfriend's fucking so I'm gonna have a few before dinner I took the laundry

to oh god our guy and you just seen this swimsuit she was wearing a guy I don't know what I've never seen this swimsuit once in my life no $5 she doesn't swim in front of me and he's like the weird thing is he's

Only in, like, three scenes. It's the, it's the first scene of the movie where you think he's a real character. Right. This scene and then the proposal scene, it's like, you kind of want to make him, A, not totally trashed here and not an ass, not this big of an asshole.

Yeah. Like the antagonist, something that he can play off of, like, it's Dundee being slobs versus snobs. And he's like, oh, he doesn't even know what salad fork to use. Well, that's the thing, right, is this, this Oscar-nominated script. It's wonderful. Is doing this so poorly, right? Because if Richie,

thinks that Mick Dundee's just this like hit guy and I'm just going to make fun of him and whatever which he does do he shouldn't also feel threatened by him and have to get drunk like he should be the confident asshole at least at the start of it and in this scene McDundee takes him down a peg or two

but like he's wasted at the start of it which leads you to believe like he was nervous about this whole situation. The movie's nervous about it the scene ends with him getting punched out in the restaurant and like that's we don't even have the rest of the dinner like they don't know what to do here They don't know how to end the scene, so they just send it. But also, what's great, too, is Mick Dundee.

See, this is the thing, Americans, they're weak. Right? This guy has a few drinks, whatever. Mick Dundee drinks like a fish all day long. It's two martinis and a beer here. Oh, well, that was, yeah, because he's like, oh, Richard says to the bartender, like, oh, we'll have two vodka martinis and you'll have a beer, and he's like, yeah, I'll have two vodka martinis and a beer. That's the problem with American men. They don't drink enough alcohol.

Thank you. That's clearly the problem we have here. That's what I've been saying. I've been trying to make up for it for everyone. We appreciate it. Even if it's like a thing where like he's like, oh, I'll know what, uh, what's her name in the movie I had to listen to? Sue.

I know what Sue's favorite dinner is. It's this. And oh, R.O., I know her favorite book. Have you read that book, Mr. Mundy? What's reading? If I had dated or for three years, I know that, you idiots. But I mean, like, that would at least like. There's something wrong with this book is, where's the, where's the pictures for me to color in.

It would portend what she sees in Richard versus what she would see in Mixer Dundee. like, oh, he's erudite. He did march for women's lib or whatever the fuck. Could you pass a Crayola? Yeah, I'm supposed to draw on the table he do here. I'm doing doodily doo's. Well, mom and dad order. By the way, also, this fucking parrot restaurant is fucking hilarious.

There's just parrots all over the place. It's an Italian restaurant, Tacana. I assume that's the word for parent. I'm sorry, it's Caribbean Italian. Oh, no. I'll have some jerk meatballs and spaghetti. I guess that's why they were making like Pinacolades. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You never know. I mean, the 80s, 80s and cocktail culture was rough. Any fusion, we gave it a shot. We were like, hey, you want a restaurant, we'll make it. Listen, we're still giving fusion a shot, dude. I got a fucking sushi joint down the street that'll give you rolls with fried chicken in it. You can fucking miss me. My early days of dating Jen, we would go to all those bad fusion restaurants,

and I was using fucking, what were those? Forks? Yeah. Fork redoes. Steve, there's a point where irony becomes sincerity. Yeah, exactly right. Oh, no, what was using, what were the bad coupons that we used? Groupon.

I was using Groupons at all the... He was passing bad groupons all over town. I really was. Including the known pornographers. I was like, hey, babe, new groupons open. Let's go see it. Man, yeah, we did a lot of grouponting back in the day. That's what you had to do when you were in your 20s and cripplingly poor.

Now you can just be in your 40s to be crippling poor and, you know, we don't have group on anymore. We just don't have. But, so, look, he's being a journey. and, like, he's like, oh, yeah, what's that over there? And she looks away, and he just, I guess he headbutts him. Because, so here's what happens here is Richard is bragging about how he can speak in Italian. Yes.

He speaks Italian to this waiter, which, like, in New York City, it's like... That's kind of stupid. I understand what you mean by Feducine Alfredo. I do understand that. Oh, no, put a little stank on the Fedetitina. So he says, like, oh, Mick, you're our esteemed guest. Why don't you order for us? And he opens the menu, and it's all an Italian.

and Mick knows that Richard knew that it was all in Italian and he looks and he goes, oh, Italian, huh, whatever, and then Anti-Pasta, what's that, like the Antichrist? Is it soup? This is where, well, anti-pasta should be soup, exactly. But he says, oh, that looks good. I'll have what that big fat Sheila's having over there. And then everyone looks.

Everyone look at Big fat Sheila. And that's when he, I thought it was a head bump, but there was a quick, cold cockery. I think it was a punch. She says later it's a punch. It's a blick and. moment but it's also this weird thing like A, the world in which people are or no one's order should be ordering

for anyone else. In the world I despise it. I despise it. Oh, well, I think I'll order for the table. I'll fucking eat somewhere else. How about that? Richard? And or like people who order for their girlfriends and like what if they just, no. You ask what we, you figure out the app plan and then entrees are for everybody. Is that part of it? Do the, did the guy

talked to the girlfriend figure out what she wanted? And it's just quicker to have one person or say it, yeah, I guess that's fair. But that's not, in this tradition, yes, we'll have. You'll do, the old fashioned way, I'll have this, I'll have this, and no, she'll have the turtle soup. My big fat Sheila with me, we'll have.

You know, I feel like if it's like something someone's been to a bunch and I don't know, it's, you know, why not? You have, it has to be asked. Oh, could you have. Yeah, it has to be, yeah, it has to be past, the surprise the lady will have. Oh, right, yeah. You can fucking miss me with it.

Also, other, of that, just because we're on the topic of restaurant ordering etiquette, don't be one of these people that ask the service. So what's good here? What's good besides getting punched in the face by you right now? I can't make a decision. Help me. I saw, we're at a fucking coffee

shop yesterday and someone's like, well, what would you recommend? The fucking coffee. I don't know. You've never been here before. It's coffee. I mean, I'm not to do a Dennis bit, leery bit. But yes, if you want to get the macho, whatever, that's your risk. You know what I mean? I'm sorry. That's a decision?

And that's not going to happen. Wait, so what did they go with? They went with the macho, whatever, because they're like, whatever. It took fucking 20 minutes and I'm like, I just want a nice coffee. That's why I make coffee at home. I don't think I ever really have it out ever. Is that right? Yeah.

That's like a special occasion. Oh. And then I order it for everyone. So she's pissed off. They get into it in the cab a little bit. Richard's going to vomit. They drop him off. And then Mick Dundee because he can fucking make friends with everyone.

He's also doing the, I'm going to sit in the front seat of the cab. Which, the cab, he's got to be like, hey, man, my lunch is there. Like, which are you fucking sitting on my papers. It seems rude, right? Yes, it absolutely does. But he's trying to be buddy ruse. You know, he just wants to be friends. He's working class icon.

Yeah, friender redos, yeah, for sure. So he's just like, oh, hey, complete and total stranger slash friender redo. We're about to be best friender he dos. Do you want to go get a beer with me? And this dude, instead of being like, fuck off, pal, is like, oh, my shift's actually over with, that's fine. I will go get a beer with you. Take me to the boozer. Oh, that's kind of cool.

That's all in Staten Island. I'm not going there. And we're, I don't know what... Fat Chilas? Yeah, that's also in Staten Island. Yeah, you get a good burger there though. Which Staten Island fat chilas are you going to? Yeah, right. Oh, you're one of the shittany one. You get the fat chila, it's got French fries on it. It's great. Colesaw, too.

It's the biggest sandwich you'll eat on the Staten Island. The fat chila. Yeah, so this guy's like, oh, I'm Italian. I can drink you under the table, McDonee, Boban. Then they just go to this bar where, like, of course he's the Popat Chilitown. He's fucking on a first-name basis with everybody. He's wearing a vest, you know? Like, this is great.

Right. Remember, he flew. He, did he sleep yet? No, I don't think he did. I guess on the plane, you must have. Yeah, you probably do a lot of sleep on the plane. But even still, like, that's not asleep. Yeah, I'm not going out to a bar like this, but there's that.

Avenue B in 1986, or 85, I guess, they're filming this. Yeah. Yeah, that was a long cab ride from wherever. Or actually, she says that they live downtown, so maybe it's not actually. But anyway, he's at this bar. There's a gag where, like, this black dude's using a bunch of slang and, like, Mick Dundee doesn't understand it. And that's the joke.

They're not talking to each other in English, you know, that we white people understand. They do a fun handshake gag. And again, like, he's fascinated by the hip handshake. Yes, he is, yeah. And you're watching the movie and you're like, all right, I sort of see where this is going. you do not see where this is going. No, no, no, no. It's been a while since I'd seen this movie, and Lord Almighty, I did not remember this left-hand turn where this lady comes up and, you know, hitting on Mick Dundee, like, oh, my place is around here, blah, blah, blah. And you see, like,

the bar fellas, like, bubbling up, like, oh, you see what he's talking to, and she's talking to, and as soon as that happened, I was like, uh-oh. Yeah, uh-oh. And she's a tall woman, so it's like, oh, what's that about? And then this Italian guy's like, hey, man. Man, don't you know, that's a dude dressed up as a lady. Yes. And Mick Dundee's like, well, I never had such a thing in all my life. He does say the driver says the F slur. Oh, yeah.

Yes, I forgot about that. Nick decides he has to test. You don't touch people. No, don't touch people. Do not touch a woman's vagina. Do not touch a woman's penis. Do not touch a woman. If that bothers you so much, be like, well, I'm not talking a hair no more and walk out.

Exactly. To check, he grabs. this woman by the genitals discovers that she has a penis and she and the fucking crazy part it's absolutely sexual assault it's 100% it's 100% of sexual assault

and everyone in the bar is hooting and hollering as if the guy as if the stuffy guy got a cake in the face and what's insane too is like so this character is Gwendolyn and the way that the setup of the scene is like you think she's part of the team you think everyone is like a regular

at this bar and this cab driver brought him and everybody knows Gwendolyn and blah, blah, and they fucking laugh her out of this bar, and you're just like... They're high-fiving. There's dudes high-fiving that this happens. I mean, it's just, it was a fucking different fucking time, folks. Finally. This place is a little straighter. Finally! This is, in January 2025, the encore cut was premiered in Sydney. Like the channel encore? No, just, well, as in the same word, encore. It's like that...

Play it again. No, I understand, but like the encore cut, is it a... cut for the channel. No, no, no. It's a new version that is going to be for a 4K remaster that's going to come out this year. Or maybe it's already out. It includes text of land acknowledgement on the top of the film. Okay.

Extended scenes in Kakadu and the removal of scenes that could be considered transformable. The world's biggest surprise is that Hogan defended the encore cut, saying it wasn't about being woke. It's about being better without those scenes. The director did not like that, which is amazing to me. I'm pretty shocked by Hogan. Good, yes. I mean, like, it sucks that this is in this movie. It absolutely does. It's in the movie twice. It's such a big gag. We have to do it again. Well, that's for all the best gags, dude. Twice is better.

But, you know, to his credit, at the very least, coming out against it in, in the light of day is a good, is a good, always a good thing. When you're a dude well into your 80s, by the way. Because it just sucks. It just totally, it's like, again, like, you can do, even for eight, even by the 80s standards, this totally sucks. junk grabbing. Yeah, it's like, you know. But like, this is exactly the movie that like, like, we would have just like, were it not for the state of physical media and 4-case, how many we can have and all the ones we can do, this would have been forgotten because this is actually, like, it is a tribute to, I'm sorry, quote unquote, toxic masculinity. Yes, it is. It is that kind of movie.

So you wouldn't even want to remember a movie like this, but they're like, well, we got to make money. Yeah. So the best we can do is try to make, like, to try to write some wrongs here. it's nice that they did this but I'm like this movie shouldn't be for just because it made money doesn't mean it has to be remembered. That's fair but you know this was the whole the transphobia thing was part of the

cultural zeitgeist at the time right crying game when was that late 80s, 89 maybe no it's 90s. Early 90s okay so yeah exactly I was going to say Ventura in the 90s so I guess this helped kick it off I thought it was

I mean yeah it's just it just totally fucking sucks you know what I mean look and it just this is our hero of the movie you know what else sucks is him at that bar saying that he caught jaw you know like the movie jaws i caught a jaws three weeks ago we cut it open and three filipino fishermen were still in their boat inside of it yes yeah that's another that's a whole hogan tall tail like crocodile dundee talltail to put some just really good to put a

positive point on discussing this bad scene the woman playing gwendolen is anne carlyle and to give a plug here anne carlyle's an awesome offbeat low five New York City sci-fi movie called Liquid Sky That's really fucking cool I think Arrow had a Blu-ray of it Someone had a Blu-ray maybe Vinegar's I think it was Vinegar Syndrome actually Just like a no frills kind of Blu-ray they put out

It's a it's a trippy little movie It's you know 80s on location New York Chud-esque kind of thing But just a As far as like locations and griminess The story's completely different But she's fucking cool and it She plays an alien and you know

There's like there's gender bendy stuff in there It's fucking really sweet. It'd be cooler if everyone fucking ran Dundee out of town for this. Like, this is New York, but don't do that shit. You know what I mean? Exactly. Because he's being annoying as hell. Not only the Jaws thing, he's also being like, oh, yeah, you have your black widows here,

but those are weakling spiders. We have the funnel web spider that would eat your spider. Oh, great. This drunk guys talking about big spiders. Can we get him out of here? Get this guy into a cab, please. And our poachers are so much better than your poachers. So after the standing ovation for a sexual assault, he leaves.

Both of these are played by cis women, right? Yes, yes. He leaves. And the weird thing, the fish out of water thing, he doesn't know what a prostitute is. You're trying to tell me Australia doesn't have prostitutes. I don't think so. That's what a Sheila is. You can tell me what Mick Dundee has never encountered a woman of the night.

Mick, you fell out of one. Come on. And he's just like, they're like, oh, we'll show you a good time. Wow, I would love a good time. Good time. Dude, these ladies are reading fucking newsday, dude, because they're like, oh, you're the crocodile, man, from the story we've been reading about, oh, maybe we'll give you one for free.

And he's like, what for free? And I was like, dude, no. You know what it is. And also, they've been publishing this story. Like, when did she send her pages in? How did she send her pages in? When did she write it on the plane? I feel like what's going on here is Mick Dundee was a smaller part of a larger story.

I see. And then the profiles, like the spin-off of the story. It's going to come. the Newsday audience has already been introduced to the majesty of Mick Dunbeek. The Australian liar of series. Their pimp shows up

and he used some foul language and... You're going to talk all night man, are you going to screw one of them? And he punches him out. He doesn't grab his genitals because he knows. No, but what he does do, because once again, this dude is a fucking caveman. He's like, all right, well,

my Italian friend here is too wasted. I'm going to drive his cab for him. And you don't see any of it because we're not going to pay for the stunt driving sequence, but we are led to believe he drives the wrong way down the street the tire ride home. Yes. You people are driving on the wrong side. You hear audio only of it.

Like, what do you do? Get out of the road. This is another crime of Mick Dundee, right? You know he's not. He's got no insurance. He's got no license to drive. Yeah, get him, him and Begby from train spotting together and they can have a weekend out in the city. At least Bigby was a

goddamn villain of the movie. Yes, that's it. So the next morning, yes, he is washing his clothes in the same decrepit water. He should become the villain of the movie. Richard started beating the shit out of the movie. At the end, Richard gets his courage and knocks this fucking liar

out. After he grabs the woman at the fucking sware, I beat the fuck out of him. But my name's in the title, how can I be the villain? Dracula. Yes, it'd be a cool turn for him to become the villain. Oh no, Crocodile Dundee was the monster. Victor Dundee was a

Dr. Victor Dundee. Yeah, he's taking a bath here and Sue comes in right as this cleaning lady's coming in with these extra towels and she's doing this she's basically doing the David Spade housekeeping you want towel bit here but showing sexy leg. This is another weird cut like what happens here because she's like

he's taking a bath that She sends the maid away And she's like doing a Spanish accent Mr. Dundee, your towels are here And like she shows her big leg And he's like, oh boy, I didn't ask for this And then he gets up and she's like, Teehee He's naked. She's

showing fucking thigh. Oh, wow. And then just huge cut. And then we're on the roof like Did they bang? Was their hands up? Was their mouth stuff? He's definitely doing it. Oh, Rosalita. I didn't ask for this. And he puts his hat over his crotch in the bath water. Because a bone is sticking out.

Yeah, I don't want to see Rosalina see my boner there, dude. Boner-a-doo sticking out the watery-dew. So then she plays with his didgerie-do and then we get to the next. He says, dude, for a minute there, room service almost took on a hell new meeting. As you see, he was going to service my cock, do you Americans get it? You're okay with me being uncircumcisories? Oh, my God. Uncuttery, dude.

If you don't like it, I'll just take out this knife and fixing that up. He's just sharping it against the leather. It's not a circumcision. This is a circumcision. No, yeah, yeah. He's got like an off. He's squaring off against the moyle. That da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Wow, it's some nice work you got there. Briss. So there's a montage going around New York. He goes up to the Empire State Building. Sure. It's great. Part of it. That's something, I guess. Foils a mugger by throwing a can at him.

Yes. Everyone, by the way, is watching a dude get a Mohawk. They're standing outside. the news that Kennedy got shots on the TV. I don't understand. This was the weirdest because the shot is from inside of the barbershop, but you don't know it's a barbershop. And so all these people gathering around a window and you're like,

oh my God, what happened? And then just watching a dude get a hip haircut. It's fine. I don't know. There's a lot of them. The world's changing and it's scary. So it's been seven to nine minutes without a trans joke. We got to get to this high society party that she takes him to.

And like, I don't know what's going on here. because like one of the one of the one of the one of the sex workers is here it's a real like mix of people at this party because it's montage montage montage montage at a party and i just need her to be like oh this is where all the editors go or this is the party it's so and so's birthday anything it's the glitterati of new york city you're going to be here in one way or another like it'll be a great way for you and yes there'll be hookers and blow as well because it's new york in the 80s it's woody allen's apartment for me honestly we've had some time here did we're me of like the parties in Woody Allen movies. In Woody Allen movies, but I feel like I can't have that many people in my house. Like that was him in real life. I can't have a party like that. Do you read the New Yorker every week? If not get the fuck out. They can't see how I live with my kid. Oh no. And then like so he he is

she takes him to meet this older woman and seems like maybe like a boss of hers. A boss or is she having the party? Nobody fucking knows Oscar nominated screenplay. She's very tall. She's very tall woman. Very tall. It's like oh like Darth Vader. The voice modulation, I said, is we getting a home alone too? It's talk boy-esque. He's like, oh, who is this? This guy looks very.

Credit card, you got it. Transphobic Australian, you got it. He's like, oh, I've learned how to deal with these people. Which is crazy because you know what this is? It's just an earlier version of, that's not your mother. It's a mad, baby. Like, that's because he's like, oh, I've seen this a before and just grab. grabs this woman by her vagina.

And she loves it. She's into it. Yeah, what she covers for him by like, oh, he's from Australia. It's okay, he's Australian. And she goes, well, I might have to visit. Yeah. There you go. We call that a shakery do. Yeah.

Everyone does start grabbing that. I do love this, like, sexy girl comes up to him at one point. Because Mick Dundee, you know, he's still just a guy in the 1980s. It doesn't matter that he's like this sort of like healthy-ish-looking guy from Australia. he still smokes like a chimney, right? Sure, of course. So he just lights up a cigarette right here, and then this, like, sexy girl comes up and, like,

takes a drag, and she's like, oh, good shit! And I'm like, does he know what you think it is? And why do you think it's marijuana if it's just a fucking cigarette? Yeah, do you fucking taste it? This smell different, too. By the way, there was a scene earlier where he just lights a cigarette in the elevator, and I think that's supposed to show that he's on Kuth. Yes, because even though everyone smokes.

That's the only place you weren't allowed to smoke. Yes, right, yeah. That's when that's when they, Well, that's when they get to the plaza earlier. They're in a crowded hotel and he lights up. But yes, he, so she's like, oh, wow. And then, like, he sees one of the prostitutes that he knows. And he's like, oh, yeah.

And she's like, how do you know her? I met her last night. When I assaulted that trans woman, I met this lady here. Before I assaulted your boss. And then he stumbles upon that guy blowing rails. The idea that this fucking guy doesn't know what fucking cocaine is is insane. They're blowing rails in this bar all the time. Oh, Wally got the good stuff, didn't they?

All right. Yeah. It's a dungle or whatever that guys. Yeah, they're probably fucking, like, helping, like, boat it back and forth between the Philippines. It's by a dirty fucking horse, but they're snorting it. He knows what snorting drugs. Look at that white china. I mean, what's that or he do?

Yeah, exactly. It's so unbelievable that this man doesn't know what cocaine is. Come on. We're a full Encino man now. Full on Encino Man, dude. It is kind of funny to put it in a hot water. What's a condom? Never heard of it.

Oh, yeah. He says that a lot. Yeah, no, I don't know when I was born. And hence, I don't know what a condom is. But he puts the Coke of the boiling water and, like, he's like, you got a stuffed nosary do, do you? And he doesn't, how we treat a sinus infection down under. Yeah.

And she's like, well, and like, it's kind of funny because Sue, at least, is very cool with Coke. Because she's like, that was like, eight grand worth a blow. And she's like, I was going to get into that in a minute. Yeah. So the most famous sequence of the movie is right here. Yay. They leave the bar.

They're walking home. and some fellas come up asking for all the money, blah, blah, and this is, you know, the dude draws a knife, that's not a knife, this is a knife. Yes, he cuts up his jacket. Your penis is small. He cuts up his jacket a little bit and the kid runs away

and she's like, oh my God, he's like, eh, it's just kids having fun. Just in case you keeping score, in case you keep in score, the kid that tries to rob him is treated better than the trans woman. Just want to be really clear about what this movie is saying. 100%. When all that

translated he wanted to do was just go home and suck that dude's dick. Exactly, a little bit of great time. And hang out with all her friends that she was hanging out with. How about I humiliate her instead? I don't get it. I don't get it, Crocodile. And then this is you know, she, he says

I'm like, oh, now ready, babe, you're all right, whatever. And she's just like, oh, Mick Dundee, I'm always all right with you. God damn it, he just said he didn't know what cocaine was. They make out, this is like down by kind of like a city hall. downtown yeah i think this is

you're the bridge yes yeah the bridge this is where she she says something here about like oh i just feel like i'm i'm jane to your tarzan and then this is where you he like yeah like a cling on like he hits his chest and he just goes like i'm i was like this is where you need to then also say i don't know what tarzan is because that wasn't no tarzan you go uh you know do the thing

you know do the thing so dumb oh dude who wanted to fight mick dundee or wharf I have no problem slaughtering this dishonorable man But I think it's going down to the line I think he's a little wily this crocodile Dundee I am here for Gwendolyn's honor What you did to her was inappropriate You are without honor

They do that that's not a knife flying to him And then he pulls out The Bat-Lath Yes This is a Bat-Lath Oh Oh no re-Dadele So the next thing is

We learn at the office really quickly that yes her dad is the publisher of Newsday. He's an hour into the movie. This character has not been Daddy's girl the entire movie and now she is Daddy's girl. And this dude walks in and he's like, oh Richard, I hope you're not

proposing to the greatest staff writer Newsday's ever seen my daughter. And it's like, oh, you're going to come over for dinner on Sunday and you must bring that crocodile, that alligator Johnson fellow. We're having Jay Gatsby old. And they get to the

Alligator Johnson starring Bruce Dern I would love that Oh man Alligator Johnson's on a tear man And he's not gonna stop till his bloodlust Has been satiated Oh wow your ass is amazing

From the director of Cyclehorfer Village New Alligator Johnson from 1976 Somehow less transphobic than Crocodile that D from 1985 From the creators of gator bait Obviously Oh I love my Sheila

She's fantastic What do you got against a fucking Sheila, man. Sheila, she brings me food. It's fantastic. I don't know. My motorcycle broke down. But, oh, no, the dogs are out, and Mick Dundee pulls his, whoa, just makes these two Rottweilers settle on down. But uh-oh, Gus is not safer of this. Mick Dundee goes inside.

These dogs see a fucking black gentleman right here. Carl Winslow's high tailing it back to the limo. He knows where he's got to go. But yeah, this is the big society party. Again, you don't get, there's a lot of meat left on the bone here, I think. think comedy-wise. It's that weird thing of like all these rich people are like totally falling for him ever. Like what do you do McDundee? He's like, I toss buffaloes.

Like, oh, that's charming. There's this weird thing where it's like, says something about a nut house. Oh, uh, it's an they're like, oh, Mr. Dundee, what do you think of New York City? And he's like, it's an insane asylum. That's why I fit right in.

You may notice the t-shirt I'm wearing it says, I only do with the voices in me head. Tell me what to do. I'm that fucking crazy. This should end up like a Marks' brother's party, right? This is such a crazy guy. There's got to be pies going over. This needs to be a countess or a

dowager or something that drops a thing in a bowl of soup and goes, my word. Like a debutante calls a fat fucking Sheila. Put her back in. If it's just a normal comedy, that's what would happen. But we are now have to steer into the romantic part of this. Now things have to be serious.

Now he has to kind of be, the fact that he's here has to be kind of a problem. And he's schmoozing everyone and he's getting along with everyone. And everyone loves them But then at the dinner, the big old dinner Here comes Richard And these public proposals should be Outlawed. Dude, it should be

a fucking, if you're doing that man At a big old, I mean, this is a big old Mr. Burns, Citizen Kane style dinner table here, you know what I mean? That many people present for a public proposal Because it's a public private proposal. We're not at this baseball stadium. But we are at a 30-person large

dinner setting. I did get the Jumbo-Tron for the occasion. Put it out back. I'm against that, by the way. Do it in private. I don't want to rub that shit in my face. I don't want to see it. It should be an automatic no.

Yeah. Like, oh, you did this in front of more than just me? No. Yeah. Well, no. Remember that when we were into the granny-shagging documentary when we were in Austin? Oh, yes. Age-gap lovers. At the end of it, that that magician proposes to his granny that he's shagging in front of everyone and it's a whole big thing. And she says, no.

Yeah. That's the way it should be granny. That's the way it should be granny. Oh man But now he I mean it's this big long thing And you can smell it The second this guy starts talking

You're like uh oh public proposal Not good But she just sort of Tepidly says yes sort of I haven't no no she doesn't say shit Dude it's one of these I haven't had much success as her editor Maybe I'll have more success as her husband

To which she is just like Oh Richard And then he like Shows that shit on her fucking finger And kisses her so she can't say nothing Nice Get a jump on it seal it with a smooch dude before she can say no exactly right that's why crocodile's gonna save her

don't you worry the transphobes are coming victor d leaves because he's upset about it the one time he's like emotional about anything really he's like oh all right i guess i lost that shila i was getting in touch with here she was a skinny sheila she wasn't even one of those terrible fat shealas because that's the weird thing you kind of want that to happen you want him and gus to have a heart to heart here. It's like, you know, actually she's the only one that I, like, I wanted to know bang her, but I also like, I liked her a lot. You know what I mean? Like something. This is

the moment of where like all hope is lost for the hero. Oh, the end of a second act. Yes, yes. No, the mafia shows up for some reason. I don't even know what this scene is. The bad pimp come back? The bad pimp, yes. The bad pimp comes back for no reason. Oh, because he bumps in, he

bumps into like other prostitutes that he thinks is the one girl from the night before. But I guess those ladies and these ladies share the pimp because it's the same guy who comes out. Wellity, wellity, wellity. And then he's got two goons with him. And look, again, this is this an action movie or is it a rom-com? I think it's a rom-com.

So this scene shouldn't be here. No, but the scene that should always stay in is wild is he gets in this limo and he's like, all right, guess, take me back to the hotel by way of the liquor store. To which Reginald Val Johnson is like, oh, don't worry about it. I got you covered, McDundee, pulls out a bottle of liquor. from the front seat that, by the way, is about halfway drunk. Oh, he's been drinking all night. Dude, it's so awesome.

But again, like, this should be, this should be the scene of just like, yeah, you know, maybe he's like, you know, I got to fight for her, Mick Dundee, I had a girl, blah, blah, blah, that whole thing. And I killed her. I killed her. Yeah, turns out I killed the kid. I thought she was holding a ring on it, and I shot my wife.

No, not that, but like, you know, the one that got away speed. It inspires him to do something. Exactly. Great shot right, because he gets out of of the limo and he's like I'm just going to walk it from here Gus and a great shot of Paul Hogan in old school Times Square right here really fucking awesome back when you can actually walk around Times Square

there were less people I guess it was more dangerous I mean just the shooting you get so much good New York I mean I are perpetually watch the Lenny Briscoe seasons of Law & Order and that is just a smorgish boy of on on location It's your neighborhood is in a bunch of them Oh is that fine fair like I saw a

fine fare from like 1993. Get out of town. That's same fine. Wow. Wow. That's amazing. Your neighborhood's frozen in time. Yeah. More ways than one. But yes, the Pimp comes up. We got to now he's got goons and he doesn't have his knife because he left it in the

car there. Yeah, no no knifery room here. So they're beating him up. One of them looks like Albert Brooks a little bit. Hell yeah. Now it's his turn to defend his life. I just don't know why I'm trying to mug him. I don't get that. They do beat the shit out of him.

It's just so satisfying to watch after all this shit. I'm like, can you let this go for a little bit longer? Like, any other stomach kicks you can't? Hey, that's the guy that fucking Graham Gwen. Oh, it's him. Like, and they just beat the shit out of him. Oh, you know, he said he said he lost his leg. Let's get rid of that leg for good.

Yeah, make your story a true story. That'd be awesome. Brinks it the other way. He should definitely lose a leg in this movie. This is the guy that grabs wealthy dow in just bite of a vagina. Oh, we heard about you. this guy wasted a whole boatload of coke not five minutes ago dude absolutely oh dude you waste that kind of coke people are coming after you know totally yeah

she even has some line about like do you know how much coke you just like threw into that water that guy uh so yeah just when it looks like albert brooks is going to lay the death blow on this guy here comes reginald valjohnson in the limo just running these dudes down breaking his own windshield and over this fucking guy you just met who asked you what tribe you were in It's just, no. And then he rips off the back, spoilery thing. This is insane that he does it. Exactly.

Because we haven't even established the boomerang. The boomerang has not been a part of the film. Nope. Nope. Not once. Chekhov didn't do shit. Reggie Mel Johnson throwing it. And it works and it knocks this guy in.

There must be a deleted scene. There has to be. I don't know why you didn't put it in here because you have it here. The encore cut, maybe. Oh, maybe. Well, you have to take out of Transphobia. It's also known as the boomerang cut. Because it comes back around again

Yeah, I see. That's actually a great name for it. The Boomerang Cuts is that. Yeah, that's actually not bad. But yeah, he fucking knocks that dude out. And instead of being like, you know, oh, you took my boomerang lesson well. Yeah, gosh, or whatever.

It's just another, oh, yeah. What tribe did you say you were a part of again? Carlo Warlords. Academy Award nominated screenplay. Yep. And then so this is. what's nuts right here right is that's like like the hero's on hard times right second act yes now steve you read a lot of the the Wikipedia and the trivia and everything

in there about uh 10 to 15 to the most crucial minutes of the movie lost in a fire somewhere no no because you have no scene where she's like you know what richard fuck you i want crocodile done that's great like there's none of that it's just like we're even standing up to her father a little bit like i don't want your life kind of scene i mean the father should stand up to her are these bills coming back from Walkabout Creek. They're still charging us, by the way. It's still going on.

A lot of charges still pending in the process of the company card at Ida's. Are you fucking crazy? There's a quick scene where he calls the boys back at Wally's and he's like, yeah, I'm going to be in America for a while. Like, woo-hoo! And Wally's like, I'm ruined. I don't know what, like this is.

You're my business. You're the guy. Oh, I guess I have to get another hick drunk and throw him at a crocodile. Does Donk, like, fart or burp into the phone or something? I think Donk is going to turn into the new crocodile. You know he's been waiting in the wings for just such an occasion. Tell Mick to get stuffed.

Yeah, that's what it is. Donk wants to say something to do you. Hey, Mick, get stuffed. It's actually kind of a funny thing. But, yeah, so no, do you point? There is no third act of the movie. No, it's amazing. No, they're just in love now.

She calls the hotel and they're like, oh, yeah, Mick said he's checking out today. We're sure going to miss him around here, which means he. He's been fucking talking the ear off to the entire staff, by the way. Can't stand that shit. Can't stand it. Wait till you're 80 years old before you pull that shit. You know what you're reminding me of actually is what is there's an ad campaign going now with, is it farmers insurance? It's one of the insurance companies where it's like, we'll help it so that you don't turn into your parents.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, like 40 year old people acting like a 60 year old dad and the guy's like, they're at like the gas station. He's like, yeah, guess that's why they don't call him clean bikes. Am I right? Like it's that kind of like it's that kind of. you just can't be, it's, it's nice to be chatty, but there are limits. There's a limit.

There's a, you know, some dudes, like, I'm just trying to clean the toilet here, man. Like, what are you doing? He's talking off the year of the bellhop at the end here, too. And he says, like, the bellhop's like, oh, you're going back home. Nah, going to overstay my visa, go a walkabout in America. Totally, dude. I'm going to, I'm going to do a forest gump and just fucking, we go from one end of the country. Our upcoming UK residency were ready to get travel visas, we had to sign so many.

documentation to say that we weren't going to do this. Like you are going to leave, right? And also you're not like, you don't have any crippling illnesses right that you're going to come in and take all our health care, right? You're not going to do that either. Nope, nope, no, I'm going to go back and pay for my own. Like a real

man. I think so. I am willing to bet that the rest of this and it's another cut scene clearly, the rest of this feels like Aboriginal magic. This is all, I think the subway platform. Her, yes, that. Her running to him? All of it. I'm like, this is all

magic shit. You mean when she runs barefoot across Central Park South through Columbus Circle into the subway? It doesn't die immediately. You need to amputate her legs. I'm sorry. Matching missing legs. You know what is? Because it's exactly, she might have just been barefoot, but it's like a zombie infection, dude.

And that shit's crawling up them legs. You've got to cut it off before it hits the heart. She's going to turn into a zombie. Can I just stop everything dead with the worst IB trivia really quickly? As always. She goes to the car. She goes to the bellhop. guys, but his guy. Irving. Irving. Which there are scenes deleted where he

and Irving talk about how funny their accents are to each other. Because this thing right here is like, Paul Hogan tries to do like a New York kind of thing. And Irving, who's like this nebushy guy tries to do it, Gidei, you know, if you can believe it, worse than we're doing in this episode. And that implies

a previous conversation, even where this already happened. Great screenplay, by the way. You better nominated for an Oscar. What's a Rugalah. She has his knife. and she goes to Irving, like, oh, could you hold on of this? Then she's like, yeah, he said he's going to the subway. She's like, oh, I know where the subway

is, but that's fine. She runs off. IMDB trivia. Near the end of the film, we see Irving with the knife. Mick did not give him the knife. He had left it in the limo. When Sue arrives at the hotel, you can see her holding the knife as she gets out of the limo. This is, by the way, warning spoilers. We then hear Sue,

we then hear Sue telling Irving to hold on to this, which is the knife. Which is just, describing a moment in the movie. It's not trivia. It's just sort of something that happened in the movie. He said mind this for me, right? Yes, yeah.

I don't know if he gave him the, do we not see? Now you're making me question the movie. Anyway, so yes, this is a big scene. Also, we have to get one more almost sexual assaulted. Like, it's just like Times Square. Oh, yes. A joke of the 80s. Like, she's just trying to get out of some way.

Some guys are, hey, where you going, baby? Let's do it. Right. Right. It's like, what is this? Just in the middle of Columbus circle. Hey, babies. where are you going? Can't a woman run like

Francis Haugh without being assaulted? Thank you. You know what? That's the problem. They didn't put the David Bowie on. Yes, exactly. You got to do. She knees him in the nuts. Oh, dude, that would be a great scene, right? Mick goes to a David Bowie show, grabs his dick.

Oh, that Aladdin sign doesn't look like a woman. It's an androgy do. I don't like that. I grew up playing the androgerie do in my high school. orchestra. But this is the fun scene. And again, this would drive me nuts about it. A, the train must be

horrifically delayed. We're asses to elbows on the platform. These people try to go to work, it's fucking... This is rare, right? Or maybe back then it was a little more common. You know what will happen here? Nowadays, this is how it would be a couple times when the train's horrifically delayed. It does happen. Someone's just taken

to, oh, wow, look at all these people. I know. Put me in your fucking... Exactly. Yep. Because if I go viral and they might buy it to put on their little story about how the Subway was late again. Here's what you do. When the subway's got that many people on it, leave. Yeah.

Get a cab or walk. I'm going to tell you. None of that. That I was like, okay, yeah, that I remember all this. This is very familiar. The idea that any of these New Yorkers are like, no, let's get these two together. Oh, my God. Let's make sure these beautiful people get, step on me.

A telephone. They play a game of telephone and they don't do any jokes with it. No. Where's the purple monkey dishwasher thing? Also, like, yeah, I don't know. This is, reserve this shit for my Spider-Man movies. New Yorkers coming together to help somebody. If you against crocodile, then Dia gets to all of us.

Go yanks. You still have kangaroo blood on your boots, buddy. And you're just stepping on these guys. Hey, let's get to it. This is insane. That rich white lady wants to fuck that transphobic guy. Let's get him together. So they tell one guy, he tells this construction worker, and then they finally get it to

make. They go back and forth until finally, I'm not going to marry Richard. Please stay or whatever. then he walks on top of people's head he's literally putting his fucking boot on this guy's like Mets hat crushing his skull yeah it's beautiful isn't it they say that

somewhere in the trivia I read it's like oh this is like what people would do with sheep you don't even walk amongst them because if it's too much you have to establish this in the movie again Academy Award nominees because he just starts walking on people I don't know what that is no you need to see like oh I gotta I gotta go tell Jeff that I'm going to America hi Jen

and then there's like a dude and he's just doing the sheep thing and it's what you have to set this shit up i'm supposed to be hearing new york new york in my head while i'm watching this and i'm like no i totally forgot about this part when i was watching it i was like oh is he trying to get like up to the rafters grab a steel beam or something yes and go across like like tarzan or something but no no no i also just remember this as he was stepping on people outside on the sidewalk yeah i thought he was publicly just walking in the street we should always just walk on top of people that's how he gets and I don't want to be all Sean Duffy like oh I'm so scared of the Twain's but if you're doing

this to people in this subway they will throw you on the tracks and you fucking deserve it exactly you're getting rat piss all over my Met Hat and then as if he just ripped a trans woman by the junk everyone starts clapping everyone just starts clapping with their kiss oh man and then he sees the black dude who was starting the telephone thing with him does a hip handshake with that guy and we freeze frame on the hip handshake movie out. I could not believe it just ended like this. And you know, to its

credit, it was refreshing to see a movie just absolutely just end. I mean, this is what tells you that the Academy's new rule that everyone has to watch all the movies is a good one because that's how this shit happens. You don't watch movies like, oh, I like that crocodile dot D, I guess. It's just like the trailer was fun. Let's put it on the list.

Of all the movies from 1986, like there wasn't one other one that had a better script than this. That's you're telling me. Not a single movie? I feel like this was the beginning. It's like the equivalent of giving like an age-out Oscar, like one of those. Sure.

It's like this movie, this made so much fucking money, we have to give it something. That's why you nominated for the best musical comedy Golden Globe. Oh, Golden Globe. But if it makes that much money, they want it at the big award ceremony. So people tune in, right? It must have been a hell of a campaign. used to. But that is the end of Crocodile Dundee.

We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts and possible recommendations. Eric Sisko. Crikey. You know, I do think, you know, I saw this as a kid. So maybe there's a little, it's not really recommend, maybe the slightest. It's kind of a cultural watch it. I feel like it will help you understand the 1980s a little bit by watching this. And it's not without its charms.

I think Hogan is charming in the movie. I think, I don't think the screenplay is that great. But, and it definitely has its faults. But I could see you doing a one and done with this, or just avoid it. Either or, Chris Cabin. I really want to highlight the avoided part of that. That's mostly where I'm at this. There are parts of the first part and the second part of this movie that, like, I can

kind of see are like, like I said, Australia looks great. They photographed it fantastically. And in New York, it's nice to see New York back in the day. It's all the shooting that I'm interested in. everything else is so bad I can't even put it together like that this was nominated a screenplay that is the most

condemning thing against an Oscar campaign I can ever hear Crocodile Dundee was nominated for this shit no fuck you Steve Zayla yeah I'm out it's again like I just the screenplay is so sodden so messy

in the transphobia not withstanding which is a big disqualifier here I guess go watch the encore cut if you can but I just I don't get it I don't understand like even I think that they're charming enough together but again if this was a proper rom-com that they could mash them together

because they have good chemistry they got married they fucked like you can tell them they're fucking when the cameras are off oh absolutely so that those are always fun to watch to that end but it's not that movie and it's not any of the movies you kind of want it to be it's sort of nothing it's a no yeah

you know on the finale of Malaney just this past we had Sean Patnon and John Mullaney says to Sean Penn that when he saw Sean Penn lose the Oscar for Last Man Standing or Dead Man Walking Excuse me. He realized in that moment

that like awards are meaningless. Sean Penn does such a great job in that movie. Finding out that this was nominated for a best original screenplay Oscar, it just blew the doors off my mind. It's just wow,

it's either slim pickings or somebody paid somebody to do something or it's the box office thing like Chris is saying, good Lord, it's just one of the worst scripts. And I agree with Eric. I think Paul Hogan's totally charming in this. It's fine. But like, I do kind of agree with the watch it part. And I understand this as a text to understand the 1980s

I agree with it. In a total time capsule way and I do, you know, on location stuff, especially New York. Love it. But I just, I never really had an interest in Crocodile Dundee, you know, so like I'm not going to go tell you to watch it. But if anything, I guess this encore cut sounds kind

of cool. But that's going to do it for this episode on Crocodile Dundee. If you want more We Hate Movies, including add free versions of this very show. Head over to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies, where this month we also got a really rocking, we love movies all about Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later.

It's the only major movie episode releasing that doesn't have anything to do with the 1980s this month. So there's that. We also have, once a lifetime coming out. Killer Contractor, one of the better ones we've done at the actual movie and the episode itself. Just fantastic. I love that.

Really make a point of watching this movie, you're going to enjoy it. Hell yeah. Out now, also, by the way, already, is Melro 210 this month. Speaking of Australians, the crooked Australian on Melrose Place, Chris. You know, that's the thing, Cradale

doesn't be walked so Chris could run. Yes, if you're new and not familiar, that is a recap podcast where we cover Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210. There's a ton of episodes. Get into it. We are morning, Daddy Wars. We are. It's over. super fun episode of AD this month

on Superman the animated series with Mr. Mitzelplick played by Gilbert Godfrey that's an awesome series and it's a fun episode. Big bleep glossary coming this month. Right, this month we're just going to be doing a loose conversation all over season two of

Andor. We're going to be just talking to Andor. We're not going to do a proper entry with it because that'll muddied the waters there. That's right. That's right. It's just going to be Andor talk and we'll be back to more entries of biographies of weird aliens next one.

That's right. And on the nexus, we're talking about a Q-centric episode of TNG. It's the one where we're doing Robin Hood for a hot second. And then also a Toastas episode where it's just, it's... Horny. Oh, it's horny. It's horny. It's

Harry Mudd and he's got some porny drugs. Yeah, Mud's passion. And if you're one of the nine people that wanted to see the movie ballerina, you'll be really excited because we're talking about John Wick 2. That's right. We got a commentary drop at the end of the month. The John Wick 2 Mentary which has nothing to do with ballerina.

My God, they have no confidence in that movie. I feel so bad for everybody involved. It doesn't look really good. But I mean, don't Red Hulk fucking John Wick in that trailer, man. But you know what? The John Wick 2 Mentary coming out this month. We've already done John Mick 1 Mentary.

That's right. You could catch up for, you know, if you got ballerina fever, get started there. And just look at all of our offerings go to w hmpodcast.com we've got a lot of commentary tracks we've got a lot of once in a lifetime episodes there's so much more movie fun happening

there's a balance of that actually there's so much more movie fun that we're not even talking about this Friday actually you can join more movie fun hell yeah talk about Superman too totally awesome 80s movie that's right a virtual live show these are super fun on video you can watch it from anywhere in the world

you'll see us doing one of these episodes you know, I, like in Kapoor, you'll see my mouth. Yeah, that house is moving. See my mouth. See my mouth. Moment.com. Moment.com slash we hate movies. That's right.

That's right. Get that after party. Patrons, you belushi and up. You get it for free. That's right. So check into all that. Also, like we say here at the end of every show, next Tuesday, brand new spanking episode of We Hate Movies coming down the pike.

Steve Sadek. Totally cool. Awesome 80s month continues with what? Oh, I'm going to, there's a dump. There's an H on here, but there should be a, an L because it's Return of the Living Dead. Hell yeah. An awesome movie. We're going to have a lot of fun with that. That's right. And a lot of

people are like, horror in July 1. Yeah, who the fuck cares? Also, the motherfucker said on July 3rd, maybe it's a summertime movie. Exactly. And you know, 28 days later on that Patreon feed, we're Zambi. We're doing Zambis. That's right. So until next week, with

more Zambis and they're pretty gloopy. I've been Andrew Juppin. Steven Zedack. Eric Sisker. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. Thank you.