We Hate Movies - S16 Ep824: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974, W❤️M) [EXTENDED PREVIEW]

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

“Everyone’s sweating like pigs and you can feel it” - Steve On this month’s terrifying We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re goofing on, and gushing over one of the all-time greats, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)! How incredible is the John Larroquette scroll narration? How much of this film’s soundtrack is taken up by people screaming? How horrific is that first hammer hit and the follow-up leg twitch? And that van had to smell atrocious, right? PLUS: Rolling out from Marvel Comics next year: LeatherForce, featuring Wolverine!  YOU ARE LISTENING TO AN EXTENDED PREVIEW FOR OUR WE ❤️ MOVIES EPISODE ON THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! TO ACCESS THE FULL EPISODE IN ALL ITS GORY, GOOFY GOODNESS, CLICK THROUGH TO OUR PATREON AND SIGN UP TODAY! INSTANTLY UNLOCK THIS SHOW, ALONG WITH COUNTLESS HOURS OF EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre stars Marilyn Burns, Allen Danziger, Paul A. Partain, William Vail, Teri McMinnville, Edwin Neal, Jim Siedow, John Dugan, and Gunnar Hansen as Leatherface; directed by the late, great Tobe Hooper. Be sure to pick up our digital show on Terminator: Dark Fate, available now in our Patreon shop! Don’t sleep on snagging your tickets to our 15th Anniversary show this December where we’re talking all things Arnold in Total Recall! It’s gonna be a gas and we wanna see you there! Click through for tickets now! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

The scroll is great, and John Lerickett is just, it's a great voice. He's got such a good voice. Had they lived long lives, they would have never wished to see the macabre they saw that day. See, it would work. I'm telling you, just do it. Hey, Toby, great movie. I like the beginning. Would you call it a scroll?

Cool scroll. Also, cool song, man. You mind if I sample that as well? Shut up, George. It doesn't go into a vanishing point. It's not the same. Fuck you. There ain't no fucking stars behind it, neither, dumb ass.

Get out my movie, you freak. I noticed leather face looks different. Is he an alien? What is that a face? He's not, he's not, George. Or you go the other way, and you have John Laracette long ago. The galaxy far, far away.

The galaxy is a disrepair. They wish they hadn't. live to see that galactic civil war somehow Palpatine returns whatever yeah so you know you get after the scroll goes

there's a lot of just black and all you hear is digging sounds which is amazing I don't know if that's supposed to be like the hitchhiker the night before doing the grave robbing or whatever but you just hear shovel touching dirt without seeing anything and that's just a creepy fucking sound I always took it as the hitchhiker

because the first actual we get the flash bob shots which are of just different rotting pieces of hands and stuff like that. But then the first shot is that the monument he made of the person holding the other horse on top of the grave. He's an artiste, man.

Listen, he's got a vision. Like Hannibal, baby. The house of Jack built all over again. This is what Damien Hursk gets paid big money for. Yeah, the thing too with the, the, you're supposed to be like flashbulbs when you were seeing the photos. That's also adding to this like documentation

of a real thing. But I should say, of course, it's all based, inspired partially, of course, by Ed Gein, which also inspired Norman Bates. So that's the ground zero for all this. Yeah, the guy was great. You're a big fan, really? Yeah, a big fan. Somebody like, God, who's that, the actor you hate from Pacific Rim and Sons of Anarchy? Charlie Hunnam.

Charlie Hunnam is playing Ed Gein. Yes, I saw this. Come on. Ed Gein didn't have a fucking 48-inch neck. Yeah. Kind of curious about that. myself. Oh, my God, look at the pythons and Ed Geek. He's jacked. Sexy. Ed Geek. Yeah, he's supposed to be sexy now, yeah.

Yes, hello, I am from America. I'm in the South and I'm very scary because I'm, is that good? Yeah, Charlie, you're really handsome. Got it. Was Geen from the South? I thought he was, Wisconsin, but it's still the same. That's the South of the Midwest. But, no, I mean, like, actually, also, point of order, I like Charlie Hunnam in Pacific Rim. No, Pacific Rim. Cribs and Peak, rather. Oh, yeah. He is good. He's good in. He's also good on undeclared television program. He's doing his normal accent. But yeah, all this, just the

gross cemetery stuff, you know, there's like tearing and ripping sounds on the score. And it's also great because it's cheap as hell to do these like bad, the puppets are like whatever they are, you know what I mean? But like, you're not showing the audience enough of it. You're just showing them the grossest part,

the part that looks the best. It's all cheating at like creating a really great movie for nothing. You know what I mean? And so it just sort of holds on this corpse statue for a little bit longer than you'd anticipate it to, which is great. Yeah, you see the whole thing in its scope. And then it cuts to these opening credits where it's like, some of it is like solar flare footage. I can't really make out what a lot of this is.

Parts of it look like a heart beating. Like it's supposed to look like the inside of a body. Yeah. And this is where you're hearing all of these news reports about all these horrible things happening all over America. So this isn't just Texas. You know, there's things going on everywhere, people going missing, people getting murder. building collapses in Atlanta. There's San Francisco has the collar outbreak.

That's another leather face. Oh, the building collapse. Another leather face. You can do it any day. This leather faces everywhere. Ked state leather face. Yeah, you've signed up to the military. I think a couple of leather faces gave the okay for that action to happen, though.

So then we get this fucking Dead Armadillo that welcomes us to the movie. Dead Armadillo's, man, they're not of this planet. I just don't, I don't. I think they're alos. Yeah, are aliens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're right. Them and pangolins.

It's a similar armor. It's the armored outside. Exactly. It's creeps me out. What's a pangolin? It's a, it looks kind of like a, it's, it literally looks like a penguin that has a armadillo back. Jesus fucking Christ. So those things aren't extinct?

No, there are a lot. Can somebody get on that? No. That sounds terrifying. Steve, do you have a pamphlet about this? You're going to hand out of the parking lot somewhere. We got to get rid of them. They're aliens.

They're here. They're here aliens exists and their armadillo. I mean, the thing is, there's not much more to the ideology other than that as I just... And they're everywhere. No, they're not. Oh, well, okay, fine. Oh, I don't know, Steve. People have followed thinner ideologies than that, though. I think you could get some followers. There's no action to be taken. It's like, I don't know. They're aliens that creep me out. I don't like it. Well, maybe they're coming from underneath the ocean. That's a new thing. That's probably real.

Underneath the ocean, you say. So, like, you go all the way down waterwise, then you get to sand and shit. Yeah. And then underneath that, that's where the mullman area. I get you a hollow earth, I guess. Oh, sure. No, no, but they're talking about this. Even some congressmen, I think, age of disclosure, the dock we saw at South by Southwest also said, the deepest parts of the sea.

Yes. That's where the UFOs are coming from folks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm handing out pamphlets. They've been able to, like, hang out down there, like hiding. For millennia. Right. Well, that's what, I mean, James Cameron's been saying this shit for years.

Everybody's seen the abyss? Come on now. He needs to go. He needs to go, he needs to nut up and fucking go hunting. He does he should. Get down there. He should become the alien hunter that he's filmed in his movie. movies over the years. I like that. So yeah, we get the big green van. And speaking of smell in the movie, man, I mean, once he cuts to the interior of this van, you can smell it immediately. You know, it's disgusting. You know,

there's no functioning air conditioning in this fucking thing. No way. Well, apparently, like, always on set, it was like 100 degrees and like, because there's cameras and shit, get out of the AC on, so everyone is just sweating like big. I mean, AC not, feel it. AC nonvented. Deodorant hadn't been invented yet. I don't, I think it was just a powder you we're throwing on it. Everyone looks disgusting. And, you know, these are supposed to be vibrant teens or whatever. They look like shit. They do.

I give you that, but they also look like they fuck a lot, which is needed it. Of course, one guy's dressed as disco stew. It's perfect. I honestly love it. Jerry is pure disco stew. I feel like Jerry was the first guy to do cocaine. Like, you know what I mean? In like 1972, they're like, Jerry, what is that?

It's cocaine, baby, you're going to love it. No one's done it before me. except all these South American ancient civilizations that figured it out. But no, me, Jerry in 1974. Ancient aliens gave us cocaine. Oh, that makes total sense. From the bottom of the sea,

top my nose, baby. Jerry's getting high. And it's great because I was looking up the guy who played Jerry pull up IMD so we can get some actual actor names here. But he was, of course, I think he was from like the Bronx. When he yells at them,

like when he's yelling about, When he's outside the house doing his yelling bit in the movie, like that accent's slipping out his bronxified accent. It's kind of great. But yeah, so they're driving along. And Lerickette's narration tells us that it's just like a fun drive. So it's just, you know, that's what you did back then. But it's not, though, because it's actually,

when you find out is the grave robbering in the beginning, their grandfather, Sally and Franklin's. They're going to check on the body. And honestly, send me a letter. Re bury them. It's fun. I'm not going out. But to Andrew's point, it sort of does read like a Gilligan's Island type of thing. A three-hour tour. Yeah, totally. A three-hour tour.

They were just going to that place that's a little farther, but has the better bagels. Well, that's, I mean, they just happened to be near the house when they stop at the gas station. And I'm like, okay, whatever. Yeah, so looking up here, Jerry, played by Alan Danzinger. Yeah, because I guess it's like, oh, yeah, Granddaddy's. grave site might have been defiled who wants to go for a road trip huh? He wants to go for a ride

we're going to go see a peepot got dug up by the van and apparently Franklin it discloses later in the movie that he was like dragged like Franklin just wanted to stay home and just like jerk off and watch three's come great idea Franklin awesome idea brilliant idea Franklin do you know why especially dude because he's like oh we're going to be driving

in Jerry's fucking van no thank you that means when I'm going to be introduced to the fans of this movie I will be pissing in a jar Yeah, it's great. Because this guy's on this road trip and they're like, all right, man,

we've got to pull over for fucking Franklin. Here's your fucking coffee cup, Franklin. Go wheel out there and pissing a car. No, I'm not going to help you. No, I will not. You'll just go down there. You're going to hold his dick? Is that what you do?

The back of the fucking wheelchair. The back of his dick? He's his assholes? What the fuck? Bend over and I'll show you. But I've never understood this. I guess it's because like dirt gets kicked up or whatever, but he's pissing into this can.

a big truck goes by on the road. He gets like spooked and the fucking wheelchair rolls down the hill. You got to put your brakes on first. You know what I mean? If you're so... Macking me here. It's very mac and be coated. But I think that may have been, you know, maybe that's a responsibility for Kirk. Yeah, possibly.

Kirk gets him out there and then like kind of leaves him. Just put them brakes on. Kirk is the biggest asshole of the bunch. So let's I think it's fine to lay the blame at him. Because the difference is Jerry is fucking Sally and not Kirk. So Kirk is just like whatever, man. Right. Well, Kirk's and Linda, I think, is that her name?

Pam. Pam is his lady. Um, um, um, um, uh, yeah, so Pam is the, uh, astrologer of the group here. So after the piss break, we get a little, you know,

Jerry, it just means Saturn's a bad influence and it's in retrograde right now. Yikes. Oh, the magazine's telling me, we're all going to die tonight. I'm just happy that throughout eons we've had to deal with girls talking about that stuff. I love that, uh, Jerry is just

like, you hear this trip, your old ladies laying on me, man? It is 1973 and this is how I talk. Jerry. This trip, you're laying, your old ladies laying on me is awesome. I'm just here trying to fuck Sally and you're doing this shit to me. Honestly, Pam, I am

far too big to drive, so just cool it with all the... Pam, you are freaking me out, sweetheart. Why don't you button it up with the astrology shit? I'm glad it's still legal to smoke pot and drink while driving. Because Otherwise, I would be real bored, man.

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