We Hate Movies - S16 Ep825: Needful Things (1993)

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

“Wearing a Yankees cap in a Stephen King story, you know this kid’s toast!” - Steve On this week’s episode, we’re kicking off our 2025 Halloween season with a wild episode discussing the Stephen King adaptation, Needful Things! How amazing is J.T. Walsh in this film? Would you buy something from this old shopkeep? Does Ed Harris defeat the Devil just by yelling? How is that kid hucking apples through a microwave door? And, now THAT is how you blow something up in a movie, folks! PLUS: Turns out Leland Gaunt loves the Spice Girls! Needful Things stars Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield, Shane Thomas Meier, Don S. Davis, and the late, great J.T. Walsh as Dan Keeton; directed by Fraser C. Heston. Be sure to pick up our digital show on Terminator: Dark Fate, available now in our Patreon shop! Don’t sleep on snagging your tickets to our 15th Anniversary show this December where we’re talking all things Arnold in Total Recall! It’s gonna be a gas and we wanna see you there! Click through for tickets now! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey, gang, before we get into this week's devilishly delightful episode on Needful Things, just wanted to give you a couple quick reminders. First up, don't get sold out of our 15th anniversary show happening this December 6th. It's a Saturday night. We're going to be at the beautiful bellhouse in fantastic Brooklyn, New York, talking all about Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall that he stars alongside Sharon Stone, of course, so you are not going to want to miss that. Celebrating the better part of two decades on the air.

Holy cow. Tickets are available now, folks. Just go to our website, WHMpodcast.com. Go to our tour page. The information is right there. Again, Saturday, December 6th. We're talking total recall. We're back at the beautiful bellhouse. It's our favorite venue to play in the city. Holy smokes, folks. We want to see you there. And also the Craventier now alive and kicking on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies where that's right. We have two new video shows going into that top tier. First of all, you do get all the audio, all the audio shows that we release every month on Patreon. When you sign up for the Craven, you of course get all of that. You of course get the Big Daddy Dispatch. But on top of all that stuff, you also get two brand new shows. One is called After Dark, which is a monthly show where we do sort of an AMA kind of ask us anything format where you, the patron, the audience member, get to hang out. It's all for you. Chat with us, ask questions.

We tell stories on the air. It's kind of like the old after parties we did at the moment. shows, but this is just for our supporters. And then, of course, the other show, quarterly, folks, quarterly now, we're talking Scarety Cats. It's an all-new show where we are dissecting Rippin'on and goofing on modern horror movies and celebrating modern horror movies. And even, you know, lauded, acclaimed horror as well. We're going to be talking, we're kicking it off of the claimed horror. The 29th of this month, the first Scarety Cats is dropping, and we're talking all about Zach Craigers Barbarian. Fantastic.

movie from a few years ago. Of course, there will be some weapons conversation involved as well. No way around that. Of course, it was a huge movie this year. So we'll be talking about it all of those two movies, I guess, but mainly focusing on barbarian folks. So have that one watched for sure. Both After Dark and Scarety Cats come with audio components. Scarity Cats, you get it right when you get the show. It's right there for you because it's a pre-recorded show, of course, so we can offer the audio and video simultaneously upon release. However, of course, with After Dark. It is a live show. It takes us a little bit to turn around that audio, but you do get that as well. However, we encourage you to watch both of these shows.

They're video shows. We're doing the video for you all on The Craventure. So again, patreon.com slash we hate movies. Head there now. Sign up for the Craventier. We should say the next WHM After Dark is scheduled to go live October 21st at 8 p.m. So that's when the October's edition is happening. So make sure you tune in then. And yes, like I said, the 29th. So just basically a week later, Scarety Cats, first episode premiering on the Patreon as well. And of course, yes, December 6th, we are talking total recall for our 15th anniversary show at the Bell House and Brooklyn, WHM Podcast.com for those tickets.

Okay, I've done enough talking. Let's get into it. We are going to Castle Rock, folks, kicking off the Halloween Spooktacular with a really fantastic conversation on Stephen King's Needful Things. Have a great week, y'all. Enjoy the show. Cool, man. Woo-hoo!

This week on the program, we're kicking off our scary horror season by talking about, oh, what's that? A Stephen King adaptation, don't mind if we do. It's needful things. I'm Andrew Jopin. Oh, don't mind to me. I'm just a kind of German man living in your town, stupid Shadak. Eric Things.

This is Chris Cabin and Harris. And we hate movies. Sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare. Sometimes, dead is better. The zombies have entered the building. They're at the door.

They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the wicker man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks. He's seen one team anymore. team one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative.

Put the fucking lotion in the back. It's an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. Oh, it's the Halloween, scary, spooky season, folks. And we are talking about 1993's Neatful Things directed by You Didn't Guess It,

Fraser C. Heston. That's right. Frazier? Fraser. There's no I. It's a Fraser. The end of Brendan Fraser. Yeah, Brendan Fraser. But it's his first name and he's the son of Charlton Heston. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Totally. He played Baby Moses in Ten Commandments.

Is that right? Yeah. That's the first thing on his Wikipedia page. What's you up to now? Absolutely nothing. Yes, I saw a stage adaptation early on in Brendan Frazier's career and I was like, boy, that guy's just got it. I'm just going to call my kid after him. My God, I can't make dinner to that.

I have to go see my son's spook story. It's the big opening of his spook story. Oh, wow. I'm finally a father. Now, let me see. What's dumber sounding than Charlton for a name? The C is probably, the middle name is probably Charlton, right? I think it's Charles something.

I don't know. He's fucking around with that. He's taking it for a walk. Speaking of it, take it for a walk. Oh, no. Press play real quick. Oh, look at that. Coming to. Just listen to it.

That is right. It's the VHS trailer games. Didn't we just do this? Yeah, a couple weeks ago. We do it every month. You know, I was thinking about this. You know how they, I saw this going around the internet recently, about how, like, feudalism, the peasants actually had more free time than we do now. And that's how I feel under the tutelage of the Game King back then. The deposed game, Game King and absentia. The J. Master has returned.

This is like everyday corporate lifestyle. the game king it was like we had to work for the harvest there was a lot at the end and that was that uh yes this is the vhs trailer game america's favorite game about obsolete materials a game that hollywood legend bruce turned once called a game that four simpletons can play at one time that is right we are four simpleton we will play this at one time uh yes this is uh so right now i'll catch you guys up on the season thus far uh andrew has died uh chris has and apparently the squeakiest wheel doesn't get any grease because Erica's zero points.

It's been done what? We did one way out. I know. I know. I'm being a jerk. So, here we go. Didn't I get one of the Woody Allen's right? It was a winner-to-call situation. Yeah, when I get it right, it's a winner-de-calling. Yeah, thank you for that point that I got.

There is going to be another lightning round here. I want to thank Philippe Sabrero for doing our scoring as always. It's a great job on everything. Thank you. Thank you. Numbers, man. This is from the internet ticket, I was wrong. It's not like, it's not like Charles anything. Fraser Clark has to do.

A rare Clark. Named after my favorite bar. I would be going by Clark then. I'd be, I'd be one of those guys. Like actually, my middle name is my actual name. Charles, what do you want to name him? Well, Fraser, of course. Oh, uh, uh, he's looking around the room.

Snickers. He sees the bending machine. Doritos Heston. Ah, yes. Fraser, hers. Hestin. I can't call him much of McCallet. We can't do that. Uttes potato chips.

Reesu butter fingers Hest. You got a game here? What's going on? Drake's coffee cake Heston. It's a little long, but I guess we can put it on the person. Really trying to squeeze it into that little boxy got. It's a hostess pie

knocking down the Drake's coffee cake, which got stuck in the machine, Heston. I'm already going to stop. Go to Milky Way. Fraser out of order, Heston. Here we go. Call for service Heston. All right, round one.

Okay. This is also off the needful things VHS. Nice. What years at 93? 93. That's, so the tape's probably coming out of 94. Gotcha. So, round one.

Game Master's Clue. Look at that. A relatively forgotten thriller with a Glenn Gary, Glenn Rosser. menacing a movie president and a Batman heroine in the medical world. It's a relatively forgotten thriller with a Glenn Gary, Glenn Rosser.

That could be one of 50 people. Exactly. Menacing a movie president and a Batman heroine in the medical world. Oh, God, I feel like I kind maybe got it, but oh no, that's probably a couple years later. I'm going to vote to kick.

Yes, I vote it. All righty. Tribune trivia. Aaron Sorkin wrote this film which stars Nicole Kid with Chris Cabin It's Malice Which one is Malice? It's Alec Baldwin I believe I'm God

And I'm a real creepy medical guy Oh I've never seen it This could be an episode It's a fucking weird movie Oh wow okay Weirdly enough in watching the trailer for Malice He does Because it's so sorkiddy

It's like Alec Baldwin in front of a medical board He's like I do this I do that and I've never ever sick and see I'm like that's just the line from Charlie Wilson's war and it is amazing that you remembered a line from Charlie Wilson's war can you have points well okay

hold on it's the best was it a Philip Seymour Hoffman yes it is okay then yeah excuse that comes into my feet it's just him yelling at John Slattery and break at his door it's a really good scene that's Phillips Seymour Hoffman just again like along Kim Pauli

you're knocking it out of the park you follow like a daily quotes account for Charlie Wilson's war your daily Charlie Hoffman archives All I remember about that movie is that time Chris Cabin put on a jacket and went as Philip Hoffman's character from

that movie probably. He sure did. It's nice and cheap, isn't it? Just in time for the spooktacular. Speaking of Round two Game Masters Clute. Majestic. A previous spookacular alert, a movie we covered seven years ago, a schlocky B horror movie that has

a hilarious number of animals Puppets, menacing a breakfast club, unlum. Animal puppets, spooktacular that we've done. Okay. Breakfast, somebody in the breakfast club. Someone who's in the breakfast club.

And, yeah. You said we did it seven years ago? Seven years ago, tonight. Tonight, not a late tonight. A dark and stormy night. Oh, man, I'm just fucking, I'm losing. Silver bullet. It is not silver bullets. Okay, cool.

Let's kick it. trivia. When Ray blow torch Max's face, it was a fake doghead that received the burns. So there you go. They didn't blow torch a real dog. Good for them. Oh, shit.

I think I saw Eric. Man's best friend. It is man's best friend. Sorry. That was like we were buzzing into the exact same time. It was. It was a hard one. Should we split the points? No, it's a, I think we'll be all right. Now, for a little bit of a lightning round. Okay. Don't

get up. It's a tribute to Ed Harris. This winner takes all again. And Amy Madigan, too? Exactly. No, no, just Ed Harris. Obviously, don't get up. I'd reference to Ed Harris,

bravely not standing for Elya Kazan as well as his wife, Amy Madigan. That was all. I love that. Just sitting down and let everybody else feel good about themselves while you feel even better. By the way, Amy Madigan was asked about this recently in an interview about weapons and was like, no, yeah, I can't stand up for a person like that. Good for you.

Just fucking carrying it. The person with this fucking gotcha question 20 years too late? Oh, do you feel bad? No, of course not. If it was a gotcha, she certainly didn't act that way. She was just like, no, yeah, of course I didn't.

How did they frame it? Do you remember? They were like, you and your husband, Ed Harris, were known for not standing up at like that was a big deal. And she's like, do you still feel confident in that? And she's like, oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, see, that's what it was.

Yeah, do you still feel confident with that? You maybe change your mind over the year? to apologize. Well, I guess it's probably like, hey, you might get nominated for an Oscar for weapons. Do you want to, like, apologize? You don't get nominated for. No. That'd be a great golden glow. Golden Glove. Yeah. That I can see.

Maybe a Saturn award. So the way this is going to work at the lightning round, actually, everyone's going to get a chance. So, like, it's not a one to take all. All right. So I'm going to ask each one of you, I'm going to give you each five movies. Ed Harris is in four out of five of them. Pick the movie Ed Harris

is not in. Okay. It's Ed Harris. in a lot of movies is the point of this and now the way now but also if you're if it's not your turn listen in because if that person

gets it wrong the next you could buzz in okay two points oh I see and if let's say if we know the one that he's not in

yeah yeah yeah you buzz in and like then let's say it's Chris's Andrew buzzes in he tries for two doesn't get it Eric you can still buzz in with one for a one point

kind of and I won't but yeah okay here we go round one who's first Chris Cabin, don't get up, Chris. All right.

No problem there. Not happening. Five movies. Man on a ledge. Okay. Wyatt Earp. Stepmom, pain and gain, geostorm. This is fucking hard.

It is. Holy shit, Ed Harris is in these. And Harris is in four out of five of these fuckers. Four and five of them. It's between two. Fuck. I'm just going to say pain and gain. It is not pain and gain.

It is not Giorstrom. It is not Giorstrom. We did that. Can I hear the question? man on a ledge Wyatt Earp stepmom pain and gain

and I know what it is I'll say man on a ledge it is not it's white irp he's not in Wyatt Earp you think he's historical looking

that's exactly totally yeah I'm picturing even a cowboy hat right now as a matter of okay so here we go what are you doing

on that ledge get off the ledge god damn it radio get off that ledge yeah she's your stepmom fucking deal with it

I'm fucking her oh yeah she's surrounded she's beautiful All right, round two. Yes, sir. For Andrew. Oh, yeah.

The thin red line, mother, top gun maverick, Nixon, and the hours. Ed Harris did four of these motion pictures. Top Gun Maverick. It is not Top Gun Maverick. What the fuck is Ed Harrison Top Gun Maverick? Someone want to buzz in for the two points? He's one of like the commanders. Yeah, I'll buzz.

Do you hear the list again? Thin Red Line, Mother, Top Gun Maverick, Nixon, and the Hours. I'll say mother. It is not mother. Wow. He's in mother. Can you? Thin red line, mother, top gun maverick, Nixon, and the hours.

I'm going to go with Nixon. It is not Nixon. He's not in the thin red line. Everyone's in there. He deleted it. He's in there. Totally. Fuck food.

Find me the fucking Ed Harris cut of that piece of shit. There's got to be a stinger scene. Have you heard of the Philippines or whatever he shows up? If someone can present evidence. Next stop, Vietnam. Yes, exactly. You know, if someone could produce... All aboard!

If anyone can produce evidence that Ed Harris is indeed in any cut of the thin red line, everyone gets five points. All aboard the train to Korea? Here's the other question, though. Which mother were you talking about? Because isn't there the Albert Brooks movie? Oh, yes, it was mother exclamation point. So it was the Aaronowski.

I should have said mother exclaimed. But is he in one of those? Is he in the other one? I don't think he's in any other one. But I was like, wait, in which movie? trick question. Mother exclamation point. Another huge fucking cast in that movie. Fuck, I should have known. Also, I mean

Nixon fucking. Here we go. Eric, Eric, Ciscus. Okay, Eric. Shine here. Yeah, shine. Is Eric, Ed. Harris is in four of these motion pictures. Creep show. The right stuff. Absolute power. National Treasure Book of

Secrets. Okay. And shortcuts. Oh, it's between. I'm going to say absolute power. It is not absolutely. Andrew Jupin. Shortcuts. It is shortcuts. You get two big points. The only person to get points in this round is Andrewman. Good job. Good one. It's a good one.

It's a year. It's a year. It's happening in Cadillian. Okay. No, I want that. Please, I need that. All I want is for him to lose. Him to lose. There we go. Eric, what you can do is go down to needful things and buy a little racetrack and you'll know

all of the VHS trailer. You buy a VHS that tells you all the trailer games in advance. you visper wishful needful things. That's what this fucking movie is. And you press the horsey and then you hear what it comes in. Ed Harris is

here, but he does not look after his woman. So I am here. Oh, dude. Take care of all of that. Here's a question, though, before we get to Ed Harris and Bonnie Bedelia's cleavage in this movie, which does have a supporting role. I think it gets the hammer in the credits, actually.

Is this the most unhinged slash greatest J.T. Walsh. performance of all time. It's really good. It elevates the movie for me. Because he is just out of a whole other place. He's on 11 from the first season. Go get me a fucking parking ticket. Oh, Jesus Christ. It is. It might be because he's fucking

insane in this movie. I sell yes. I will always shout out him in Breakdown with Kurt Russell. Amazing. Amazing. Is he the villain in that movie? Yeah. Evil Trucker. Blue Chips is a stay tuned in a half. It's got an oldty and an amazing J.T. Wall said it as well. I love

this guy. That's the one thing. It's just like can we bring them back from the dead is there something I know he died at 54 years old dude we were robbed of like late in life J.T. Walsh instead of de-aging actors for movies you got to just superimpose an AI

J.T. Walsh in there just do that just make it look better though I don't want to creepy we can't do that I'm sorry you're asking too much it's got to look like JT. Walsh that's creepy that's not happening a man I've got 19 fucking fingers

God damn it I'm an ATI JT Walsh and my mouth isn't moving properly. Remember the 80s? They want you back. Do you see that fucking creepy thing that the 80s wants you back? What? What is that Ready Player 1? No, no one saw this thing? It was an AI thing going around. Because you're the only one

that looks at Twitter, dude. That's why you know what all this AI bullshit is. I have Twitter, but I somehow have gotten the AI out of my I don't have it on my timeline. What an achievement. It is, well, it's a lot like I subscribe to AI.com. People were big... AI archives. Yes, but it was like this

creepy video. Charlie Wilson, more update that AI slash AI we're using AI to make bonus scenes from Charlie Wilson's war Sorry, go ahead What was this?

No, it's just this video where like It's all these like White kids in the 80s Being like Looking at the camera Like they're all AI They're totally fake

But they're like You know look real enough In the AI way Like the 80s wants you back We miss you here We don't look at our phones We just stay out all night And watch cool movies

Hey remember being a baby Yes Don't you want to be a baby Yes I do But it's also like this weird, like, come on, kill yourself. Come on, kill you. All you got to do is cut your wrists, and the 80s will come right back. Yeah, do you think when you die, because no one really knows, right?

No one's come back to complain. But his name was Dracula. I think it was Jesus. That got a lot of complaints. Are you going to just be a baby? Like, you died, you become a baby again, and you're in the 80s. Because now you have no worries or responsibilities. And would you rather be a heavenly baby or a.

human in hell. Anything that gets me out of here is going to be pretty good. If I'm a heavenly baby, can I still like drink and smoke weed though? No, you're not the Roger Rabbit baby. That'd be cool. Then I'm sorry, then it's got to be an adult in hell. Because what good is being an adult

and having a care for you, you know, if you're a baby and having care for existence, I can't fucking do anything. I can't drive a car. You can have a lot of milk and sugar. How about that? But here's the thing is heaven doesn't want you and hell's afraid you'll take over. I saw that on a t-shirt.

Were you at a boardwalk in New Jersey? Yeah. Or we were using Castle Rock, Maine, possibly. Is this supposed to be Maine? It is. Castle Rock, Maine. This is Stephen King. This is the town.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dairy Maine, I'm aware of crash. It's Maine in general. It's, so, so Castle Rock, what other properties is this in for Stephen King? I know there's their TV show. It is, it's, it's stand by me, I believe. Is that, right? Dark half, I think, because, right, that's the right,

movie because Dark Half, which came out, there was an adaptation that came out the same year as this, the Ed Harris character is played by Michael Rooker. Oh, okay. Interesting. All right. The things I've never seen this movie before yesterday. I never even heard of this movie before, which is crazy. Were you a big, like, King guy growing up? No, I mean, I watched... The heavy hitters. Yeah, you know. This is definitely a B-Squad. I never sought out, kid.

Right. Oh, he found you. Yes. Hey, Mother, did you hear this? Fraser is directing an adaptation of a book written by a king What did she say? The Dead Zone Kujo as well Okay, okay, okay I've seen Koojo, I've seen those movies Castle Rock and Derry are like the two

Big Tays. In high school I tried to read The Dark Tower and I was like, this sucks And that was that for me I wonder if you'd like it now that was an adult because you dig on fantasy stuff And that stuff's way more, it's way more fantastical I feel like I thought the world wasn't

fleshed out enough or something I also didn't like his prose but Yeah I mean that's the thing is it's an acquired taste Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't Were you into the movies in the 90s though? Because I was like hardcore If there was a King movie that came out I was too scared

Oh right I forgot Wasn't for him So what about you Chris Gavin? I didn't seek him out When I saw stuff by him I liked it Like I saw the shining but of course That wasn't made then but I was like oh that's good And then of course years later

I'm like oh he hates it why And I saw the dark half, I think, in Theaters And I really liked it Because yeah, there's like that There's like the Tommy Knockers I've never seen the Langalears I've never seen the Tommy Knackers The Langalears is kind of trash

But it's like a really interesting notion of like What happens when you go back and die Are those movies or those like seven hour TV events? Langeliers and Tomaheers and Tommy Knackers were TV things And Tommy Knockers are like some big old hooters.

I think the Badiolia's got some Tommy knockers. No, I think the Tommy knockers were like Glep-glops. I think it's an alien. Oh, is that the bunch of little mouths that Because those are the Langelears. They look like clams. Oh, they try and eat you if you go back in time or whatever. When you go back in time, you see the concept of this Stephen King

thing, and then we'll talk about the real Stephen King story we're supposed to be talking about. The Langaliers presupposes when you go back in time, you can't go back and say, like, stop the JFK assassination. There's nothing back there because humanity's moved forward so there's just like nothing and then they come along the langaliers you see and they eat the universe in the past so this plane goes through like a

wormhole accidentally goes back in time whoa they're like where is everybody why is all the food rotten and then these terrible cg.i clams with teeth come out of nowhere and they start munch on the scenery something i did yesterday is their food and they're shitting out my day yes data is their food eric and the sequel is time shits is great. That is, if you're going to read a king book, that's the one to read. Time shit is phenomenal.

Oh, God, I ate 1988 last night. Oh, it's too spicy. Jesus. Didn't he have like some JFK time travel book? 1122. So did he just go against his own? Is there a little, little gangliliers biting at his? There's no universe.

It's a different story. The thing is a guy's got 40, this is a good place to start also. Yeah. He's got 44 million books. And he does do like, I kind of like that from the other book. I want to do that again in a different spin. Because the beginning of this.

movie is very much Salem's Lot. Is this this car comes into town? I also did not see. Sillams Lott's great book. I've actually never watched the Toby Hooper miniseries. Yeah. And there was a new movie. The movie sucked. A couple years ago. Lewis Pullman. Right.

Lewis Pullman. That's one of, you know, I think one of the things Paramount Plus has become is like just the dumping ground for when they realize they've had a bad idea for making a movie. See also speaking to Stephen King, that most recent, in Pet Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, bloodlines or whatever, which I watched just because Double D, Dave Dukovine himself, was in the movie.

Of those Tommy Knockers. Yeah, of those Tommy Nockers. Double D, dude. It falls. FBI. And yeah, that was terrible, too. But, yeah, so a little car comes into town opens up a shop that everyone's very mysterious about. Specifically, I think,

an antique shop in both stories, right? Jesus. What a lazy son of a bitch? I don't know. Christ, I got a whole novel doing it. It's another spook. antique show. All right. How about this?

It's not run by a vampire this time. Ah, the devil? Yeah. Who's a, who's a vampire's boss? Oh, the devil, okay. Who's a vampire's boss? How about? He's a devil that comes in from the Dark Tower universe and comes into our universe.

Jesus. And then the gunslinger's gonna get him or something. That's spooky, man. But yes, I like the... Very Beetlejuice opening. So Beatlejuice. Even the scores a little... I was waiting for Alec Baldwin's hand to be like, all right.

Exactly. Oh, here we go. That's in my notes, too. I couldn't believe how... I have my bottle of Castle Rock. It looks awesome. I watched them like side by side afterwards. Oh, did you really?

This is like the same fucking thing. They just added a lighthouse for Castle Rock. It's pretty much it. Listen, Tim, it's Chuck Heston. My son's going to steal your opening and you're not going to do a damn thing about it. Who is this? Oh, yeah. I'm going to get back at you by remaking Planet of the Apes.

Oh, yeah, that'll teach it. And you know what? You're going to be in it, you cash strap. Fucker. I got a dress. You have like a fucking monkey asshole. How about that? It'll be worse than your version, but it will make more money, you oh fuck. Fraser, I'm in a

monkey suit now and it's all your fault. I stick up for you once and this is what happens. I should have named you out of service. He's right there. You know that the devil is in this nice, fancy car here because he's

blaring opera music as he comes into town. That's the devil's favorite. Black Mercedes, another thing the devil loves. Yeah, dude, right out of Hitler's garage, this fucking car. There is a, later in the film, there is a Luftwaffe Nazi cap in the background of one of these. Oh, really? I'm like, oh, that's not for sale. That's part of my personal collection.

I'm going to say, what did Stephen Miller come to tell that thing? What do you really want, Stephen? What do you think about all night? I just desperately want someone to love me. Why don't you put this on your enormous melon head? You know, it'll look cool like a natchie. My goodness, sir, you look like a penis head with a mouth attached to it. Ridiculous.

By the way, is it true that your wife is stooping Elon? Is that right? Oh, okay. So, yeah, we meet Amanda Plummer right here is Nettie. She's working at the diners, spying out the window. Plummer with the hammer, by the way, and Amanda Plummer. Absolutely. She's the only one doing this main accent.

It's a little too much, as most Amanda Plummer things are. I love her. She's just bringing the right energy. to this movie. She absolutely is. I think she fits into this cookie universe like totally fine but this is a weird thing where like some people in this movie are doing it and some

people are not and when you are dealing with a story where it's like some people have to have the con get there from here accent like either everybody's at least trying a little bit or nobody's doing it. I mean there's so many characters in this that I wish they whittled it down. I feel like this is

I understand I can see the book pages as well watching this movie. And I don't know, they focused on Plummer and this rivalry with the fucking turkey farmer. Oh, those pig people. It's a classic problem with King, though. Like, the stand has too many characters

and they've tried to adapt that three times every time it's been a disaster because they can't wrangle it. They don't know how to do it. Can they just do one with the whoopster? Yeah, with Alistanda Scarsgard's Captain Tripp. Just cut shit out. Make Stephen King hate your movie.

It works for the shining. Yeah, exactly. Do your best to produce an ad, adaptation that Stephen King will hate, and you may just have a masterpiece on your hand. It's mediocre. I love it. But yeah, so, dude, what is going on here with fucking Ed Harris just scaring her for no reason? Like, the start of this is like, he just comes into, blah! And just like yells from behind.

And like, she also, of course, like she's a, she's clearly an unstable character. We learn a little bit of her past history or whatever. You can't just be yelling behind people like this. They'll turn around to kill you. She murdered her husband. I mean, not murdered. She's in self-defense, it seems. That's when you get

I feel like too much of these backstory of these book characters is seeing a flashback of that guy for a second Yeah, but I don't need that guy. Yeah, this weird Like when you touch the object you see like into the past either your personal past or baseball's past Him breaking all those little

like figurines and yelling You moron! That is wife Break and by the way those are female action figures. It's those little Hummles. Hummills are female action figures. I think I should have moved to Doggville where that shit also works. They love it there.

But we learned that, of course, Ed Harris, he's Sheriff Alan Pangborn here, and he's going to ask Bonnie Badelea's character, Polly, to marry him after long, fucking last. It's going to be two people in the late 40s getting married. Well, I mean, it's like, the sun is setting

on the last of this hair, so he's just got to, he's got to get married before. I need it for the wedding photos. Dude, I'm looking at him in this movie, And all I can think about is when Elaine's dating John Michael Higgins. Oh, yes. And he realizes he's ball in, George comes in to give the advice, and he's

like, you got 14 months. It's 15 of your lucky, whatever it is. I'm looking at that, Ed Harrison. I was like, cherish it. Here it is. Cherish it. Exactly. Oh, crap. I took a shower this morning and half a fucking fell out. I got to get married today. I should have probably married my room when I had a full head of hair and I was banging

her. But I guess it's got to be you, but Delia. Don't, I mean, like, yeah, it's clearly like they've been dating forever and like she's just like not expecting at this point like they've probably moved had that argument we're going to be partners you definitely can be you can tell that though because when he sits down at the diner counter and he's like uh hey polly you uh want to get married and she's like yeah whenever you're ready to do that you know whatever the her response is it's a like

we've been down this road before you don't want to do it but how about some fucking romance if that's the kid like even more so if it's like you're not like a young kid surprising your young bride like treat this lady nice little dinner and be like and here is the right she's working give me fucking eggs and don't make him ready by the way marry me or whatever is there another restaurant in this town

though? I don't know that's true oh he should have had her cook a nice dinner for him ordered two entrees be like sit down you're getting married you made this do you have a dessert other than pie that I could put a ring in through you got a ganache or something I can use oh this town doesn't know the word

ganache maybe they waited because It's like it would be a firestorm if you pick the Catholics or the reverend. Who are you going to pick? That's a good point. Let that go. Yeah, I'll have a table for two. You're going to sit with me and also don't tell you, but I'm going to get engaged to my partner. Who's you?

Take this ring and put it in the pie. No reason. But don't tell you about it. We see the sign. Oh, she's choking. Oh, no, she's joking. We see the sign across the street and says, Needful things.

A new kind of store. want to believe your eyes. Jevelish tricks and many, many gifts. I do think this movie is not very good. It definitely can be whittled down. The performances make it watchable. And it's actually a pretty clean directing style. It's not very well directed, but it's like adequate.

Well, that's the TV movie. Go-to. Just get it done. Get nice and clean. That's what it feels like. It feels like a TV movie. I didn't... A to B to C and let's go home.

I didn't grow up with it. I didn't really like it. I get why people do because there are... There's stuff to sink your teeth and do with these characters with like you know j t walsh and like stephen king to me is the last fucking author you would want for that kind of movie it's amazing to me that i i know it was because he was the biggest for what a devil movie for a tv movie oh yeah yeah i'm like these are worlds that need like big expressionistic idea like it needs money it does like it does need that kind

of thing and that there were so fucking many of these things made for tv i'm like none of them work you answered your own question because it's the leg that's always the it is way too long it's and he won't he won't fucking let you cut it. He will not let you fucking cut that shit. Cut out tons of characters, cut out entire plots. Yes. He won't allow it. Big books have been adapted to the movies before to great success. You know what I mean?

You can do that. You can do it. Dead Sun was mentioned earlier. That's a great movie. That's a great movie. Another decent TV movie and you got to take it from like source material to the movie and not think about the Kubrick. But that Stephen Weber's Shining adaptation

isn't terrible. It's him Rebecca DeMourney. Like it's actually not I remember being whatever. I remember not like it, but that was a long time ago. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I watched it when it came out. I was a dumb kid. But Max von Sito is great here. He looks like Walt Disney a little bit with this mustache.

Sure, yes. Well, you know, that dude was in league with Satan. He had the evil rotten teeth as well. I don't know about Waltz of later years. I do like, yeah, so Max Monsanto is the devil or a demon. And he looks like Max Monsato with a mustache. But then when he's writing his evil book, he gets like his, nails grow like saber tooth and like

his teeth get rotten. He's got like gross hands and then I think is there is there a contacts situation possibly? I thought there was one shot of him when he was like I'm writing in my little ledger about who I own soul wise and like really it looked like he had like a

Darth mall contact I bought these contacts from West Borland from Lipa Biscuit they are white with little black eyelids and be careful once you come into my store needful things. Be sure not to break stuff. No, Wesh, I'm saying you ripped me off. Nobody noticed

I had a catch eye. Nobody. You fuck. You ripped me off. Who is this? That's just he said, she said bullshit. Go find a $3 bill, y'all. Oh, yes. First person in there is Brian Ruskin. Little Brian, wearing a Yankees cap at a Stephen King book. You know this kid's toes. First of all, wearing a Yankees cap in Maine, this kid would be murdered on the side of the road.

so funny because it's like just find a famous Red Sox player and do this same thing but the fact that it's got to be Mickey Man and I'm like yeah this kid would be fucking run out of town on a rail he would get the fucking doctor sleep that Jacob Trembly gives that's what they

would be doing with him just for wearing that hat just suck his soul right out of his body yes I mean that's the suggestion he's already spiritually dead clearly and this is just finishing the job what's happening I'll tell you what he must be spiritually dead because he does not clap back at this old lady and tell her to mind her fucking business. This kid

pulls up on his little bike and he gets off the bike and this old lady's just walking down the street out of nowhere. Aren't you supposed to be in school? I'd be like, aren't you supposed to shut the fuck off? What are you just do you just see a kid on the street aren't you supposed to be in school? What business is? You know what that is? It's like the skateboarding.

He skid stopped and she was like, how dare you? I mean, I wish I had the swagger of this old lady to say something like that, you know? Because like some young kids walk by my house, you And they went, hey, mister. And I was like, ah, and I run inside.

They said, hey, mister. They said, hey, mister at me the other day. Oh, that's trouble. They're coming to get me, mother. They're coming to get me finally. They stood outside my house for a few minutes to show their power play. That's what they did. One of them picked up a rock, and he was going to throw it at me.

I just know it. It's weird that this store is a house. Yeah. And I've just got an apartment upstairs that I live in. Well, I mean, it's kind of like a funeral home situation. The fact is Brian Ruskin leaves this encounter only losing his soul is pretty, he's pretty lucky. Let me, oh, you want to, I have lots

of toys here, Brian. What do you want? You want to Air Jordans? I've got them in the back. Take your shirt off. Here's what you have to do to get these big, cool sneakers. But no, it's, he's a baseball kid, and it's like, whatever, he's trying to feel. You like playing with balls,

don't you? You're a baseball kid, yeah, yeah, yeah, look at this giant bat I have. Oh, no. From Akron, Ohio. That is hilarious. when everyone's like, where are you from, sir? Oh, I'm from Akron, Ohio, originally. Uh-huh.

And before that, and before the war. The one castle in Akron, Ohio. I came over on a paper clip, if you know, if you catch my meeting. This kid playing Brian Ruskin is hilarious because, like, he's a tiny guy, young kid, not very tall or anything like that. But he's got the deepest goddamn, anybody here? Is this store open? Hey, is this, are you in business yet? Well, you know, he's smoking probably by. then. So what I want you to do is do

an Ed Harris impression so that when you two talk to each other, it really you know, are you making fun of me? No, I promise, I'm not. You know, I always wanted a Mickey Mail card. Yeah, he wants a Mickey Mantle card. He's like, oh, I just have exactly, he's like, tops or flea. Like, he's really like

what, I can you spell it out for me? Yeah. And it's got, here's the problem with this card that this kid's selling a soul for. It's great baseball card, rookie card, or whatever the fuck it is. And it's signed to Brian. That decreases is the value, Brian. To mine good friend, Brian.

Yes, a Mickey Mantle signed it. It's like bumper stickers on a car you're trying to sell. It just fucks it up. Quick question, Brian. Is it with a wire and I? Mickey Mantle needs to know. Yeah, I would really call into question that signature. Exactly. This is so funny to me because like this is the devil, man.

And he knows full well he's going to fuck to pick this kid's soul and make a bad deal out of it. But he also bilks him out of the 90s. He's got this pocket, and he's like, now, yes, I'm going to take your soul, but also how many pennies do you have in your pocket? I'd like those as well. I think that's for the tax man, if he ever shows up, you know what I mean? Oh, no, it's all legal above board, 95 cents for the card.

It's the only guy they can beat the devil. Oh, hello there, Mr. IRS agent. What is it? Oh, you always wanted to be a famous movie star. Well, right this way. Oh, you always wanted to be a wrestler. How about Irwin? What was Erwin R. Schuyster?

Oh, yes. Excellent. IRS professional wrestler. Oh, my God. Yeah, remember that. Good ref. Yeah, so he sells with this card. And then we see he's got his little ledger here.

We've got forced lightning every time you touch up. Oh, yeah, that's always fun. You get a little zapped. I can't forget that. That's just because I'm walking around with my shock shot in the house. Oh, yes, it's just the static electricity in this old house. Exactly. I rub my little feet, my besocked feet on the carpet.

I just get cold down there. I have to have them on. But yes, he's got the ledger. He's got the ledger and it's empty and he writes Castle Rock and he writes Brian. Got that name in there. If IMDB is to believe there is a shot

right when he's doing that or maybe he's later he's flipping through there's Nelson Mandela's name is in there for some reason? I don't know what. He sold his soul to get out of jail? Is that what we're saying? Okay, Fraser.

One fun Easter egg you can put in your mood. All right. say that Nelson Mandela was in league with Satan. I have a presidency of Free South Africa for you. Is that what you really want, Nelson Mandela? That

is insane. Are you, now, are you sure that's in there, or is this just something you're misremembering? No, it's IMDB. Oh, I didn't know, Madela thing. He got you. We cut to, this is we cut to the J.T. Walsh freak out. He's literally screaming at this little deputy

because he got a fucking parking ticket and he's like, I do so much for this town. I raise all this money. I sell fucking boats down by the goddamn marina. Oh, it is Monday. He's here, isn't he? Dude, this epic argument between J.T. Walsh and that deputy.

No, Deputy Norris. It gets so good when he's just like, I don't have to take this from a used car salesman. Boat shithead. I sell premium quality yachts, I said. Boats shithead is a great. The actor playing the deputies, Ray McKinnon, kind of a proto-adam driver.

I don't know, like, he just, I just feel like. Really? I don't know. Oh, weird. I mean, I just... It's a tall guy with a protruding Adam... You can just say

he's a weird face. He's in a Cohen brother's movie. Yeah, you don't need to guss it up by saying proto Adam Driver. Yeah, he's in a... He's just weird. He's in a Cohen's movie. That's it.

Like, I'm Driver, too. Like, which... Oh, he's an O'Brother. Oh, he's the guy who marries... Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. He's the guy that's like... Yeah, he's bona fide.

He's bona fide. That's another one and done. I gotta go back to that one. oh that's an amazing movie um so amanda plumber around here oh no sorry we didn't finish the whole thing about screaming about uh shithead or whatever and ed harris has to scream at the both of them and he's like he's kind of like a chief brodie situation yes i didn't leave the big city to deal with your fucking screaming matches it's just amazing the big city by the way come on now of course if you live in main and someone says i left the big city of course that's pittsburgh pennsylvania yeah come on now uh as far as i've fucking could, which is made. But it's kind of amazing because J.T. Walsh is on 11, and you're like, oh, wow, that's J.T. Walsh in this movie. And Ed Harris, in the first scene, he's like,

oh, I'm kind of a nervous 45-year-old fiancée. And then, like, he comes in, and he's on fucking 12. He's like, God damn it, everyone's fucking crazy in his town. It's fucking awesome. And this is, like, just a little bit of what you were going to get at the end of this movie. In where, dear listener,

Ed Harris defeats the devil by screaming in the street. Yeah. It's so awesome. Awesome. The power of this man's vocal cords defeat Satan. Well, that's the story of the movies. Like, you have to learn to go to 11. Like, anytime Ed Harris is around J.T. Wall, she has to go back out to 11. You got to meet him.

And you have to go there to beat Max Fond Saito, who is always at a four. And, like, just killing you at a four. Like, destroying your fucking world out of four. So Amanda Plummer is going over from the diner to... The Welcome Pie. Deliver a Welcome Apple Pie. The Apple Pie is, like, their big, famous dish, whatever. And while she's trying to go over there,

this hick turkey fucker lady starts screaming at her about the dog threatens to kill this dog in the middle of the street real gremlin's-esque lady this one oh my god kill your dog that lady just died recently isn't she the evil uh principal from uncle buck possibly all i've looked that up i have no i kept thinking she was in a signfeld episode she does look so familiar and i was do we see much of this dog in this movie not much no i feel like we don't see it at all in the tv cut you do see a lot of it. I will say that. And I'm just like what this whole argument over this dog I've never

see until. She like she brings it around. I think she brings it to she brings it to the store. But this is where the lady. See it like going after the turkeys. I should see some to be fair to you, Eric. They not even the TV cut do they go into that. They never explain what the

fuck their problem is. It's just some pre-existing small town beef. Yes. Is the idea. Not a huge career. A lot of voice stuff from this actress. Oh, I think you were looking at the dog. A lot of voice acting from the dog. His best friend, too? Oh, my God.

She was in nothing but trouble. And who's Harry Crum? Who's Harry Crum? I was thinking, yeah. She's a candy hangar on? One of those classic candy hanger on. You know those crews. I'm a candy hanger on, man.

What do you got some gummies, little chocolate bar? Hang on wherever candy you go. Oh, a Clark bar. That sounds delicious. What? That went on the birth certificate? But so he comes. And also, by the way, everyone said the stories, oh, I didn't think another soul would fit in here.

Don't mind me, I'm not the devil. There are so many gags where it could be like, oops, devil joke. And the best thing about needful things, and it pops up a couple times, he went to the trouble, the devil did, to make branded gift bags for when your thing goes out. I want people walking around the stove. Where'd you get that cool, cursed item? Needful things. Absolutely. We're launching some merch.

It's going to be some hoon. about a coffee mug for all your coffee drinks. I'm a king of darkness, but also the king of branding. Hello. Well, dude, he's a marketing genius, the devil. It's a nice tote bag. The tote bag will not cost you or your store. The item inside of it, you understand.

That's just good marketing. Next week you get the water bottles and they are beautiful. They have the little flip caps. And I made this next piece of merger just because I like saying it. Would you like a needful thing? Carabina. So when someone asked you, where the devil did you get that? get that you say needful things

so she sees this hummel and she's like I used to have this homel, isn't that crazy? Yeah, and Boncido he starts doing this thing where it's like he's giving personal information that there's no way he would know you know like oh yeah well your husband's murder of course

that you definitely had nothing to do it is that right? Yes indeed it wasn't you who took the knife from the door and cut your husband's throat and like at no point is any this is like one of five times he does this to a character in this movie and at no point is anyone like well how the hell did you know that yeah exactly or like hey man what was that forced lightning it felt like brimstone it's creeped me out did she kill the husband yes it's like a domestic violence thing then doesn't she

go to hell anyway should there be like a guy that's so evil in this town that is just like invulnerable i'm gonna tell you this eric it's because she only killed that one guy and it's we all get one and it's all justified if she was the axe murderer from so i married an axe murderer he would not touch her. She would be fine. That'd be awesome. Self-defense. It depends upon what side of the ball Amanda Plummer's character is on in this town. Is she a Catholic or is she a Baptist? Because if she's a

Catholic, dude, that deathbed last right. Fucking clears the slate. Clears the slate, dude. It's why it's the number one religion, baby, number one. Total game genie shit on your deathbed. I love that. I love that. I won't yell at you like your George did.

We missed one part with Brian, which he does here too, which is also it's going to get me out of the store so quickly if I'm oh wow this is exactly what I want it's my needful thing how do you how would you have it weird that you know so much about my life and yes it'll be ten dollars and I also need you to play a little

prank on someone exactly I don't know what prank means in your context don't worry Brian it's all crisscross they'll never trace it back to you I know Christopher the original cut of the magnificent Ambersons is right here for you

plus a prank fuck off get out of my face Wait, so in this scenario, he's offering the 10-year-old boy, the extended cut of the Magnifican Amos? He's offering me. Oh, I see. Oh, Chris Cabin. An easy mark in need for things. And yes, I, the devil, do have Orson Wells' this whole catalog.

She does, she touches the Hummel, and she gets a little force lightning. And this is the flashback of the hubs and freaking out and smashing this, you know, row of hummills or whatever. And this guy's looking rough. Like, oh, what a pig. yeah yeah totally long dead in this world oh okay oh she killed the actor two problems oh that i don't know i don't know who played this guy in the two-second flashback might be an uncredited stuntman or something but he even like knows oh george i used to yell at you i'd be like yeah dude i'm good and i'm certainly not doing whatever i know a prank means to me sticking a finger

up your ass or whatever it's not in my business and they see i think it's around here either j t waltz comes into the store Or they see him screaming in the street or whatever, and he's like, oh, by the way, enjoys your Hummel, but perhaps someone should play a trick on Buster. Because this guy's like, whatever Keaton is his, Dan Keaton is this guy's name. They call him Buster. This is this clickety-clack, Stephen Kingie, like everyone's called. Because even in the first season, it's like, don't call me Buster. And I'm like, I don't get that. And then later it's explained, it's like, oh, Buster Keaton.

Oh, yeah, exactly. It's like a fart kind of a thing. It's like spelled different. Can't give me a flash. Don't you call me a comedic genius? What the fuck's your problem? Flashback of someone saying Buster for the first time as their kids or something? Why not? If you're going flashback heavy, I don't want it.

Sure. But I don't like this. But so we see the first prank that has to be pulled here. Brian goes out to this turkey farm and just scoops a bunch of turkey shit into a bucket and then starts spreading it all over their laundry. I will admit, this is a genuine prank. After this. it's not pranks.

It's like, Ha ha, ha, skinned your dog, Tony Prank. I was going to say, fucking why. It's a joke. Let me destroy your whole house with Granny Smith apples.

I'm sorry your dog's dead, but I was just joking. Well, pranksters, I have no, no time in my life for pranks. Anyone on April Fool's Day is a fucking jerk. Totally. I got no time for pranks.

You're a terrorist. Remember a thousand years ago when someone reached out to us, they were like, we want to film you guys doing pranking people in the streets in New York and we were like, get fuck. No. Not in a million years. I'll turn

down that TV show. Thank you. Because like, pranks just suck. People who do pranks. You're like, even like George Clooney's a notorious prankster. I'm like, that sucks. Yeah, you know what his pranks are though? Like, you walk into this room and you're like, oh, the last time I was in this trailer, there wasn't a

$6,000 in espresso machine. Cool prank, George. You got me good, buddy. I said I hated limoncello and there's 20 fucking bottles. love it in my room oh that prankster hey hey george it's uh robert danny junior yeah we're on the set of uh good night and good luck the movie not the play yeah hi uh just skin my dog no that's a dude i only give uh like rich people pranks that sounds like some stevie kinks you buddies check it out or jared leto call him up uh but yeah the turkey shit this lady

it's kind of amazing she comes great turkey acting in this movie a lot of turkeys a lot of Turkey footage, a lot of good fun footage of turkeys. They looked realistic. They did. They looked realistic in their parts, yeah. And then like this lady's like, oh, I'm going to make turkey for dinner because I'm a crazy old lady that loves killing turkeys. And she just

walks face first into, even if it was clean laundry, like moving or, like she just walks in until she gets completely douched with turkey shit. Yeah. And you're bringing up an annoyance I have with this movie. This movie is so chopped to shit that like the part I just

talking about the shit slinging is where we are in the movie. And then what you just talked about is like 35 minutes from now. I'm sure. Like it's just so like we're going to go here for two seconds. Then we're going over here for two seconds. Then we're going to back over here. And I'm like you gotta have some scenes here, man. Let's stay in the same

fucking place. Just focus on Ed Harris doing the police work of the police prank or whatever. This is a thing where like, following the trail of everything. If you're reading this, you know, you're going along, you're reading this in a book. It pops around. It's easier. than if you're trying to do this while you're watching a movie

it just feels caught up as shit you know it's so crazy but yeah so Ed Harris finally comes into the store this is the meeting of the minds or whatever and he's like oh hello there what would you like and this is like right away you can tell like von Sido as the devil is like

oh he will be a formidable opponent because he's like uh I got everything I need I don't need shit and he's just like what is this because if I went into a store and somebody like also these small town stores you walk in the guys all over you immediately I hate that shit

I hate that too because that and I would probably like I got everything I need because I don't want your fucking candle or whatever if I go in a needful thing I'm expecting a candle How about just browsing asshole Okay

You know Wow he's battling wits with Eric Siska He can steal his soul Are you sure? Are you browsing? I guess I'm an asshole Because he doesn't just do it at the store Right it is at like when he's having lunch with someone he's like

What do you really want from life. What do you really need? And I'm like, dude, that's creepy shit. Just why don't you mind your own business? You and the old lady mind your own business. Stop asking me what I need. How was your day? You weirdo. How about that? Let's start with that. Seen any good movies lately? What's on TV? Let's start

there. Somebody to sell here. Fudge, candles. What do we got? What you want? What you really, really want. Sorry, I just saw spice world. I've on my, I've mama, I've Wama, I've only, really, really want a second. Actually, I'm a bigger two becomes one fan but it's a good song it's all a good song i need some love like i never

needed love before gonna make love to your baby had a little love now i'm back for more gonna make love to you ask beautiful things at like 2 a.m that thing's just blasting out of there that's what you should be pushing on everyone it's like you want the spice girl yes yes oh victoria beckham actually wanted a soccer player and i got her one The greatest soccer player in the world. You get the whole catalog of the Spice Girls, and then you skin a dog. As you prank. As your prank that you do to your friend.

You can have the theatrical rights to Spice World Emotion Pictures. Just kill this dog. But yeah, so he kind of, this is with, like, I'm from Akron. This is where you don't start, this is why you don't start talking people in the store, because the next thing you know, you're having pie with this guy in the back row. Oh, I could just a piece of cheddar cheese. Oh. I know he just moved to town

so the question comes up but like everyone grilling you and where are you from? Where are you sound weird? Where are you sound weird? Where are you from? Your weird sounding weirdo. Why don't you record yourself

and listen back? Everyone sounds like this. Another weird question is asked there's two dudes the reverend played by the dude from the X-Files and it's been peaks. Oh yes, done, whatever. great actor general in the Twin Peaks

they're Bobby's father whatever yes and then another actually weirdly another uh lynch actor from Wild at Heart this old Irish guy his name oh who's he in Wild at Heart I think he's like one of the hitman or something like that oh okay

fuck yeah these guys are great though he's playing the father and they have a rivalry about like because I believe the reverend's like you're not one of them Catholics are you and he's like Jesus Christ I just got into town these are these are rude questions The old Catholic is William Morgan Shepard, and the Reverend Rose is Don S. Davis. Yes. And the Reverend, the Baptist Reverend, is pissed off because the priest is trying to put up flyers around needful things, advertising that the church is having a casino night, which is something churches do all the time. Yeah. And I mean, it says right there that all the proceeds, it's all charity. It's not actual. It's not, but, you know, the Baptists, they're really dementia.

in their ideology and think that like even just having a fun night that's for charity is sinful no fun that's the thing with baptists they don't like fun they like hate they do they'll they'll fucking bring out a guitar and think that's fun an acoustic number and start doing their whole thing i gave my love the chicken i'd rather some guy in a dress sing latin at me sorry true uh but so then we we bounce back to the turkey farm this is wilma gets coverage it this husband of hers kind of looks like zach woods yeah he does a little bit of like zach wood was in like old man makeup by the way Zach Wood's fucking thing about the

Riyadh comedy festival is one of the funniest fucking videos you'll see. He's been killing it on the Instagram. So funny. But so naturally and this is von Seydow's plan here. Wilma gets covered in all this turkey shit. She thinks that Amanda Plummer is the one that was slinging said shit and I'm going to kill that fucking dog.

Yeah, she goes into the diner the next day and she like throws the sugar bowl at her or whatever. I know what you did, you fucking bitch. I'm trying to eat eggs. here. What's going on? Who's the fucking bitch at 9 o'clock in the morning? And they're just like, just order your food. It's okay.

Oh, she calls. No, she calls. It's on the phone. Oh, that's right. There's a couple things. Yeah, she calls versus, I know what you did, you bitch. Because she's covered in shit. Yes. Yeah. He's a good doggy. You won't see me coming. Yeah. And then the next day you have the diner, she throws the sugar bowl at her. It's like, it's all

fucking relax. Oh, look at the fucking sugar on the floor. This dinah's going to get fucking ants now. Did you think about that? There's fucking ants now. And Okay, I'll tell you what I want I want you to get rid of the ants I can't fucking stand them Please I sell my soul I need to get rid of the ants

My plan is working perfectly to give the people all ants How devilish Needful things You'll need an infestation of ants Now it's like needful thing slash terminax Now Brian when you throw the apple through the window Hit the sugar bowl Make sure you hit the sugar bowl

But one thing we didn't say it's a nothing scene it's like him trying von Sido going to the diner after hours Polly played by Bonnie Bedelia is working there this is what he's like oh what would you like and then she's like oh you scared me

I thought we were about to close like oh can I just have a cup of coffee and then he's like do you have anything in the way of a donut something I could possibly dunk it's always you know oh you're just closed well it's just a coffee and now it's a fucking donut now it's a turkey leg and now it's going to be this

So, yeah, he's harassing her at that diner, which is actually, see, again, this is the editing, dude, it's way later in the movie. But this is, uh, another thing around here is the, the bar. We learn about the relationship between the, the town drunkard and the bartender and the shitty jukebox with the achy, breaky heart. Dude, you can tell this was made in 1992. I'd kick this fucking jukebox, too. If you are, have the gall to be playing achy breaky heart and it starts skipping, which means I have to listen to more of it. Yep. I'm kicking your jukebox.

And it's at the achy-achey parts. Exactly. My God. So what's his character's name? This drunkard's Hugh. Hugh Priest? Yes. Hugh Priest, I'm sorry.

Take two on that name. Yeah. You got three priests in this movie now. Thank you. It's confusing because sometimes like, oh, Hugh Priest. They're like, which priest? Yeah, exactly. Just changed the, like, price or something.

I thought you were saying huge priest. I guess it would be the Baptist one, right? He's the bigger guy. Is that a fall song? Oh, maybe. Also, we learned J.T. Walsh has a gambling problem because he's at the bar and he's like, It's a weird, I'm at the bar because I'm watching nighttime horse racing. Real degenerate shit, man.

You're watching this stuff once the sun goes down. Degenerate time. You also get a little bit of his, like, paranoia. He's like the fucking mirrors. First that they put the mirrors in, and then there's a two-way mirror, and you're like, what are you talking? That's a weird thing. He can't just be, like, angry guy.

Like, part of the character is he's this paranoia, dude. Yeah. But I got to figure out, like, what spurred is. The origin of course, of course, the book, there's probably 30 pages devoted to it. And what happened to this? I would cut it out, just make him a degenerate gambler. Yeah, or it's a weird character because the way he behaves all over the place is like, you met the devil first, right?

You met him like two weeks ago? Yeah, exactly. He was the one who recommended that he come to Castle Rock. That could be a thing. He could have been a real estate broker for him. Yes, yeah, totally. He can't make a sale and finally the devil comes in. Oh, you need a commission, do you?

And he's like a Renfield then. Oh, yes. I just assume that everybody in this incredibly small main town would want a yacht. I just don't understand this. Well, how could this possibly be? Yes, a lovely turkey shit for him. Would you like a luxury yacht?

Oh, yeah, you sell pies and cups of coffee for five cents a pop, would you love this luxury yacht? Maybe you should be doing used cars. Yeah, maybe go back. Yeah, seriously. Stop trying to get the Baptist to buy a yacht, maybe. Because I don't even see a marina in this town. We go to the lighthouse, and there's nothing.

around there. It's all just craggly rocks and whatnot. Where are all these yachts you're selling? Not meant? That's why he's so in debt. So Hugh Priest the town drunk gets kicked out for kicking the jukebox. This guy's like the town Al Bundy in a way. Oh, it's so sad. They kick him out and he's like drunkenly

stumbling down the store and then right in the window there's his letterman jacket from high school. Al Bundy kept that shit. He did he had the fucking foresight to be like, I'm going to want this. My life is going to go down the shitter. Hold on to this brief dream of mine. This guy couldn't even do that. such a sad moment. I mean, it's that's

hilarious. He grabs the jacket and it's just like, oh, that was the best day of my life. And it's hit with the jacket and he's like drinking and driving. That was the height was me drinking and driving, maybe hooking up with a chick right afterwards. It's so sad because it's so specific to you're right? Because that was the

best hour of the best day of my life when I was just chugging road sodas with some fucking strange next to me in the car. Back when the big bopper was still alive and so was I. Now, this is a big bopper, and this flashback, this is a question that I had, right? Because as far as I can tell, the cars, the clothes, everything, the achy, breaky heart, this movie is set in contemporary times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know that this actor is old enough to have been a teenager in, like, the early 50s when we'd be doo-wopin in a car like this? He's got whitish hair. He could be in his 50s. It's 40 years ago. You know, it's right around. He's in his 50, 40. So he's driving this car and driving.

drinking when he's 10 years old? Dude, it was a different time. He just got out of the service, dude. He's just 10 years old. He just got out of work. He was going to home. He was fucking working in the minds all day. We're going to double at the factory.

No, but so yes, he's like, oh, yes, I just do a quick little prank. Pranking Netty. You know what? Let's prank the woman who has severe emotional problems in town, shall we? And I mean, I'm a drunk. I love this jacket. I'm not skinned an adult. Like, again, look, I will throw turkey shit.

I'll throw apples, whatever, maybe. Put sugar in a gas tag if I really like the jacket. Potato in the exhaust. Sure. If you want to get fucking murderous about it, why not? I'll knife some tires. I'll do it. I'm going to, fine.

Like, when he eventually does later in the film, go to this dog and just does comically open this fucking switch blade or whatever. He's like, sorry, pooch, but I love my jacket. I just, I, it's kind of funnier if he's like, I'm too wasted to kill the dog. And like, he can't make a cut to kill. kill it. I mean, it's a big dog, too. Like, it'll be cool if the dog killed him.

Yeah. It makes more sense. It is a big rotty, dude. This thing should have gone right at him. That would be cool. Like, that's so in chaos, like getting all the townspeople to kill each other. I thought that was the point. Right. Like, it would be cool of one of the lines like backfired, but the dude still wound up dead. And he's like, well, a kill is a kill.

He's still couch. The jacket, the show. Hey, you know what? Universe. Mark it. Market. Look at the board. Look at the board. Are the numbers on the board? There are. Put him next to Nelson. Baddella for some reason. So what is going on when Reverend Rose goes

to needful things? All these big cock statues? And he takes the biggest, juiciest cock statue all the guys. I think you answered your own question. I know, but it's like this movie is a little wink, I guess. I know it's like 1993 and whatever, but I need to see

just two seconds of whatever it is this dude does with this the second he gets home. Is he hiding it from shoving up his ass? I have a meeting and he closes the door. Maybe I, but I think he's just doing exactly with the lady with the Elvis statue

is doing. The Brian's mother who's like obsessed with her statue. That's a cut thing. It's all deleted. Oh, that's all deleted. Chris Gavin did watch. Chris Gavin did watch the extended television. They do oh man, then they go all the fuck in on Brian's mother and this she is

making out with this Elvis statue. I don't think we even met her in this. Oh, no. She's literally just at the end of the movie Oh, man. They put so much fucking shit in about this mother making out with her Elvis. Like, she won't go out of the house because she just makes out with the Elvis statue. What's so funny, though, is it's so not talked about in this movie that when you see her

and she's got the sunglasses, dude, but it feels like when you see the weird FAA guy and Donnie Darko, like standing in the woods and you're like, what the fuck is that guy doing? Like, when this woman appears at the end of this movie, you're like, what fuck is that? Someone who did the work. I think Ed Harris, even at the end, it's

you're Brian's mother. And they're like, oh, I guess you're Brian's some other. I had no idea of this person. But also, yes, welcome to Needful Things right here. You know, it's Reverend, it's funny. I was either going to call it Needful Things or Big Cock Warehouse. I went with Needful Things, so we didn't get shut out, but yes, all your Big Cock

Needs. It seems, Reverend, that if I had called it Big Cock Warehouse, you might have been my best and only customer. New York City were Big Cock Warehouse. We have many locations all around the city. So if you look at the business cards for Needful Things and for Big Cock Warehouse, it's actually just the same address.

Big Cock Warehouse, Satan's speaking. How can I help you? See, because out of Big Cock Warehouse, there could be a guy who's like Joaquin in 8mm, and he's just called the devil. Oh, the devil's work, and he always gives me a discount on my cock rings. Let's go down and check it out.

He really did have to do a coin flip about Boston, but it turned up being Big Cocker House. We went with that over and needful things. Big Cock warehouse, thank you for your patronage. Please come again. I also have branded bags for Big Cock Warehouse as well The hilarious thing that the Reverend is doing there also Because he's like, what religion are you?

You're not a filthy fucking Catholic are you? And he's like, you might say, I'm non-denominational And he's like, oh, cool, can I put this say no to the devil's sticker in your window? No, get the fuck out of my store. Take this huge dildo statue with you. It's the cock that kills the old lady in Clockwork And then like the priest comes in at some other, not Hugh Priest, because that's a fucking confusing thing, right?

Father McManus or whatever Comes in and he buys the cup of a carpenter Is this supposed to be Jesus Chris Cavillis? Is there a TV thing that expands on the chalice Because there's the shot of the priest Later in the movie he's like analyzing it He just looks at it

There's no real explaining of what it is I gotta read this neatful thing's obsessed with this thing I was dude I was doing a cup of the carpenter stuff In my head I was like that's a Jesus chalice That guy's always wanted it I guess And then he could like pour it on pour some water on Brian's bullet hole.

Yeah, yeah, wash it away. Yes, exactly. Just fix this bullet hole in your temple kid, pour some holy water on there. Actually, this is one of the ones that they gave to one of the thieves, not actually Jesus. So you chose unwisely. There's a great montage around here where you just see

like business picking up and all these customers coming in. You do have one line who goes, I'm afraid I have a tendency to turn up in the heat. Oh, yes. Come on. Man, definitely a trailer line if it was not. but so yeah the Polly Chambers diner scene is here and this is what we learned she's got like

crippling arthritis and yeah this is the something I can dunk thing which is weird weird thing here that I don't know I think it's supposed to be I guess like Brian has sort of figured out what's going on because in this like conversation she's like oh I'll go get more coffee whatever

she leaves the scene and he just sees the little boy like standing out in the rain staring at him yeah I think he's feeling it earlier on Right. And then he kind of was like, you've got to finish the job, man. This is not enough. What, I mean, come on, man. The Mickey Mantle signed that card for you. I mean, if you go to any store in town, it's two grand easy. You gave me 95 cents, dude. J.T. Walsh is sort of down at his. Actually, this is the marina right here. J.T. Walsh is on a shitty boat.

It's not a yacht, by the way. It's a real shitty, like, schooner thing here. And he's, like, watching this horse race that he's losing. And Ed Harris comes into, this is hilarious. This is hilarious. Like, he comes into his boat. office and he pulls a gun on Ed Harris immediately. Like Ed Harris does I pull this gun out and fucking take this dude down. You're in fucking sleep town Maine. What do you do in thinking everyone's coming to kill you? Well that's I

need even in the TV cut like you need to have like some gangster some book somebody who's down his fucking neck about this shit. Threatening phone calls and that's why he borrows money from the town treasurer. Yeah. Any of them. Yeah. Anything. But no he's like oh next

week the town meeting is going to be here and like the tax appropriation committee or something looking as what happened this 20 grand he's like uh i'm going to pay you back and it's like barred it from the petty cash like the town's petty cash fund or whatever 20 large and ed harris gives him four days to i'd be like fucking tomorrow morning fucking four days and then body bedelia sees them and that like disturbs her and she's like i don't know maybe you know just it's just not normal that he's hanging out with j t ball right yeah like what is he doing down there or whatever and then so this is his he finds Brian at the lighthouse and he's like,

oh, the dealing is you don't use you? And he tosses Brian this green apple. This kid goes to the turkey farm. He, if he loves baseball, it's a tragedy when he happens to him. Because he would have won pro. This is better than the kid from rookie of the year. Oh, big time. These apples are not just going through windows.

They're going through microwaves, televisions. The force you throw an apple through a window that destroys a television. Yeah, that's so many planes of glass you're going through. Actually, we got Jose Konseko in here to do the pictures. Boy couldn't do it like that, so we got Jose in here. It is a great, like, it's a cathartic thing to hear a bunch of windows breaking like that for me. I don't know. I watch the scene and I'm like, yeah.

But getting it through a farmhouse window and then the microwave door. The ghost of Mickey Mantle. The ghost of Mickey Mantle should show up and throw all these balls. Oh, yeah, the feel of dreams is right over there. It came right out of it. right next to the loser Kevin Costner here's a turkey farm

this is more like it while he's while he's doing that this is where J.T. Walsh as Dan Keaton finally goes into the store because he sees the horse racing game in the window and he's like

oh my God he's like licking his lips like a cartoon wolf at this freaking thing here you I mean this is how you know this is a junkie is once you start believing you can secretly

envision the fucking End games of a horse race over a game. You have lost it. You have gone out. Also, the thing is, once you do do that, and the guy, if the guy's like, oh, this is what it does. It magically tells you who's going to win every race if you touch the horses, you'd be like, oh, so you are the devil. He's the only one with his eyes open and this is clearly the devil. Or you're crazy.

You need also, like, to have von Seidau exemplify in front of him that this can work. Which is just the scene from back to the future, too, with old. Biff shoes, shows new beef Biff to Almanac. Yeah, exactly. But like, I just need that because I need like Walsh, oh, let me turn up the radio for you, Dan, listen to this. And he's like, my God, I want to want $30,000. Exactly.

That would make it better. I also don't need the line about this astonishing toy from Japan Incorporated. It's just like that makes it sound less magical guy. It's this weird thing we're like, you got a sports arm almanac. Oh, I got this from a band in a Gloria Dufely. Oh, I'm being sued by

Stephen Spearberg. Oh, got it. But yeah, oh, this man who owned it, his father would put the day's racing for him into the game, and it would tell him the winners and blah, blah, blah. Oh, wow. You didn't sell this to anybody else, sir? Oh, wow. Oh, great. I can't wait to get this. Yeah, why wasn't this thing flying off the shelf? I can't be the first person to come into your store and looking for it. I want to be rich. Was that a rare one? I'm not the first degenerate gambler to come in a needful thing. Did I miss him getting a lot of money in this? Does that happen? It doesn't actually happen. It does not happen. Why would you set that up and not have it happen? Because I feel like magic horse racing game that gets you rich like that, but then also a be careful of what you wish for kind of story,

that's a fucking 90-minute movie in itself right there. I see the ins and outs of this game and he becomes a big rich guy. I love J.T. Walsh, but maybe just take this character out of the movie, if you're not going to do it right, Stephen, or whoever, Frasier, Crane, Justin. Come in on the clutch in the back half of this. though, Eric. I don't know about this. He's great, he's great, but

yeah, I don't know. I don't know about any of this movie. The, whatever from the turkey farm does her harassing at the diner at this point. This is where Nettie gets all upset and Von Seidow takes her outside says a bunch of shit to her

that you don't hear, but all of a sudden she stops crying and starts laughing and oh yeah, you have you picked up your attitude, have you not? Oh yes. I told her how long it was. this is when she goes to Buster's house, right? And starts putting all the stickers in there, basically. We see

Yeah, somewhere around here. Because we see him using the horse race, right? And he's so wrapped up in it. That's right. But we still have to see him fucking screaming at this wife first where he's like, he's like doing the racing or whatever and she's like you know, oh you know, Dan, you want fucking

breakfast? Honey dip doughnuts. He's fucking screaming at this lady. Yeah, give me a fucking toilet paper, a nose chop, anything to get out of it. It's like, oh, man, J.T. Walsh rules. Oh, my God. It's really, really nuts. And, yeah, so, like, you have a quick thing of Nettie. Nettie talking to the dog, like, we're going to lock all the doors and windows from now on because people are fucking crazy in this town.

And whatever. And then, yeah, the window breaking happens. And we, this is the best part. This is, like, von Sightow now is, like, the plan is in full effect. They're doing my bidding. And he's closing the store. And it's, like, you know, closed until further notice. And he just goes,

Yes, sir, we are having fun now. It's just so good. The trailer is all Bon Sido reactions. If you watch the trailer, it's all him's being pleased with his work. That's what I want in life. Like, if he did YouTube unboxes or first looks at trailers and he's just reacting. Oh, I'm so excited to unbox this new ORB electric toothbrush I've gotten. And thank you to the ORB Corporation.

This free gift. I'm kind of at loggerheads because I do love Shane Black so much. Mark Wahlberg, in this role, I just don't know. All right, ladies and gentlemen, yes, this is my 14th video about why man of steel is better than Superman 2025, you understand. If you look at the marketing budgets, if you do that, you will understand why it is better. Also, Mr. Terrific is black, and that is not terrific? I'm listening to the Genesis albums for the first time in live reacting to it. What is, oh, touch is it?

the lion lies down on Broadway it is a fantastic record this is the von Seidau report with Max von Seidau I'm interviewing Theo Vaughn if you could believe it speak it for the Von Scheidow report Oh that's a Vaughan and a Vaughan Yes there you go

Around here this is Hugh Priest man Going to this house And this is a dude that's doing the accent Because the dog The dog is named Raider. And so this guy drunkenly walks up in the house and he's like, hey, Raider,

how you're hanging? I've not gotten drunk enough that skinning a dog seemed like a good idea. And I've gotten plenty drunk in my day. You know what I got, Rader? I got a nice jacket and I'm gonna keep it. He flicks this knife up and you're like,

oh man. This is while Nettie is putting all the parking tickets signed by Norris, the deputy. and it's like, you know, parking in a bad space, embezzling all this money also being a cock-sucker is one of them. Oh, but the best one, did we get the best one though?

One of them is he gets a ticket for horse fucking. Yes, yes, yes. What do you think of that, Chris? That was knocked down to horse fondling, okay? That's not fair. Yeah, you'll never, they don't let you in Missouri anymore for a reason. Me or J.T.

Walsh. I don't know. This is kind of a rad scene, though, because J.T. Walsh was really wrapped up in all the gambling in his den or whatever and when he comes out of the room she hears him and there's a cool like yeah unbeknownst to J.T. Walsh cat and mouse thing going on where she's like hiding from him in the house and she slinks

out and of course he thinks now that this is Norris that did it and again like this is almost in spite of the movie Amanda Amanda Plummer and J.T. Walsh are fun to watch do you know what I mean like her even just stamp with these tickets it's funny and it's fun and menacing

in a way. The fun stops right here because Nettie goes home and sees the dog's skinned alive hanging from the ceiling I'm sorry it's a puppet it's a jump scare too yeah you priest flicks that knife and then a predator comes out and he's like I got it's like okay

because this is like a clean job oh I know you're coming home early I haven't I'm not done boiling his skull yet I'm gonna say maybe if this guy was like a butcher before I'd believe this but he can do this stuff right from his brain that would make sense if it was a town butcher that did this but like

It's like the legs are tied together. It's like hanging from the ceiling, like a chandelier. It was something they discovered week in and week out on the show Hannibal. Like Will Graham walks into a room and there's another person's skinned, flayed, and hanging from a ceiling. I guess the idea is now you're really framing the turkey farm because she is a butcher of sorts. Oh, sure. Kind of sort of. I would have done a mad's voice there, but Max von Sido, Mads.

It's too much. It blends right in together. The funny thing, Steve, you just reminded me. when that pig woman goes home to the turkey farm. It's right before she walks into the shit curtains or whatever. She's like the husband's

Randall or whatever's name. Oh yeah, I'm back Randall. How about you scoop something up from the pan? I feel like turkey tonight. I'm just like you feel like turkey every night. We run a turkey farm. What are you talking about? For once I'd just like to make a hamburger at my

house. Yes, mistress. Squeeze my balls. I'll get you a turkey. Gobble, gobble. So you're asking me what I need. Can you murder my wife? I can just own the turkey farm. That would great. She's looking at all these broken windows right here.

And Nettie comes to the house. All while we're still getting the Ave Maria that Max von Sida was blaring while he sits in front of the fire, twiddling his thumbs, tenting his fingers or whatever. And so this is great because, like, comes right in. Nettie stabs Wilma in the gut right here. It's a normal move. and then whoever directed

those Jason-born parkour fights comes in and you get a middle-aged woman fight here and it fucking rules. It's awesome, dude. They go through a fucking shelf of pickles and other canned goods which is awesome. It's just they might have the bongo spit in the knife, like

Amanda Palmer picks up a magazine and starts using it. And this was funny because like I said, I saw this movie a ton of the 90s, but I haven't watched it in fucking ages. And nothing was really like hitting like I remember like von Sido's character I didn't remember you know this that and the other thing

but these two women going out the window and falling off the roof oh you bet your ass I remembered this part great stunt work here yes not bad and Amanda Palmer has the fucking thing right in her fucking head and then a turkey farmer

got stabbed in the guts like a butcher's mallet from the turkey farmer in her head turkey farmer has just got a great line in the middle of it's like come at me bitch if you're going to come for me. Come at me, bitch. And I'm like, yeah. Well, she did. Was this woman involved in like glow ladies wrestling?

Because so many of her lines of dialogue feel like she's fucking taping a segment like a promo. In the initial screen match, too, it was just like, you killed my dog. You broke my microwave. Microwave. That's a quiet out of. It's like, first of all, you have no windows

left at your house. It's a little more expensive than the microwave. How am I supposed to cook up my turkey tonight if I don't got my microwave. She's just my, it's this raw turkey. Just throw it in there, dude. Turn it on until it smells good. No seasoning. That could be a TikTok white person meal. Totally. Boiled turkey.

I'm boiling all my turkey, y'all. Going to put some cream in it and a bunch of cheese and hot sauce. That's good. Oh, it's good. Oh, and I'm making it on the counter and I'm making it in my toilet. Not cream of turkey, creamy turkey. It's the best. Yeah, it's the best kind.

There's a difference, okay. But then, of course, we go back to Leland Gaunt and the opera finishes and he's very satisfied. And then the next song comes on, I've given you everything, all the joy you'll be. Yes, I swear. Yes, I swear. I love the spice girls.

Yes, I know that I do things. I know that I will meet Ed Harris's grandson in 20153. And I know in six years the spice girls will be around. Come into my life, spice up your life. Spice up your life. All the people of the world. Sposh, how would you like to meet David Beckham? Oh, man, but yeah, so this is J.T. Walls runs in right after Polly, and it's so awesome because he's freaking out.

And this is von Sain of being like, okay, Dan, why don't you go up to my apartment? You see, you're cock-blocking me right now, Dan. I'm about to seduce Polly, you see, and you coming in, screaming like a maniac is really cock-blocking me. Because he wants to kill Nora. Oh, no, no, no, you can't do that. That would go right back to it. Then they would get you, you understand. You need to do another prank for me.

Yes, we need to criss-cross. Remember Dan Chris-cross apple sauce? Very important, yeah. It's on TCM tonight. It's a very good movie. This is where she gets the necklace for her pain. Oh, it's a white... Anyone says white magic to me?

I'm like, I cannot know, thank you. Was there a fucking rude on there? When I show a bunch of useless... It's either Big Cock Warehouse for here. Here I sell a lot of useless... Christian is a thing for you. And I want to be clear. It's not just a white magic. It does sound bad.

Any magic with a color ranking, I'm going to say no, no, do. I'm going to like, you know what, no thank you. But his accent, white magic, I'm thinking he's got it from Heinrich Himmler's estate. But Christ, this is a bridge too far with the magic thing. It just

seems a little silly. The devil. Really? No, but I agree with it's like, it's breaking the rule Because he sets them up, they knock them down. Exactly. But this is something completely different. Even the gambling game is a little bit on this level of like, sure. There's a magic element to it.

But you never see it. If it worked, it would. But it doesn't work. But I think it's like he knows that this in some way or another is going to backfire and set J.T. Wals off or whatever. The thing with Bonnie Bedelia is straight up just he wants to get laid. Yeah, he does. This is all, oh, if I cure her pain, maybe then she'll be able to wrap her hand around something if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I have a note later in this that's cleavage wizard

wizard stuff. Well, that's, by the way, original title for this movie. Better title. I would have loved that. But like one for cleavage wizard stuff, please. So yeah, it's just this like, make sure it's right next to your skin, you see. It's like, it's like one of those wireless charges. Sometimes the charge can get through your phone case and you have to take it off right against the charger. Yes, please dangle it in between your tummy knuckles. I'm not playing with my langolier, I promise you now. I like your big round tommas. Not those long, flat langoliers that other women have.

Now why don't you suck on my green mile? Oh, yes. I'll be standing by you, that's for sure. Get it nice and shining, if you know what I mean. Oh, that was great. I'm going doctor's sleep. Yes, they're all. This is a flash forward

to the fucking. He's so horny that it volts us to the future. Yes, I'm breaking down the space time barrier because I'm so horny. What with being the devil? I must motorboat Bonnie Bedelia. I must have it. Apologies. I went a little faster. You might as well call me Mr. Mercedes.

Oh, I've done it so much today. It's the dead zone down there. You're going to say, whatever the JFK date, that's the last time I pleasureed a woman. Or the last time I had sexually intercourse was a 11, 22, 63. Oh, my goodness. This gun slingers out of my mouth.

Yes, oh, yes, it looks like a dark tower down there. He got it going. Cujo. Yeah, so he's, this is where Dan is like, I think I should kill Norris Ridgewick or whatever. And this is where he's like, you can't kill them, Dan, because they'll be mad at you.

They'll go to the cemetery and urinate. on your grave, which is just like, they're going to do what? They're going to piss on my grave. How do you know that? And he says to him right here, he's like, by the way, Dan, Sheriff Pangborn is their leader.

He's playing into his paranoia deal or whatever. I love the murder scene they go to where the priest and the Baptist Reverend there are both doing like they're doing banjos, yeah. Yes, because it's like Wilma is the Catholic and Nettie's the Baptist and they're each getting their own thing

here at the murder scene or whatever and you know Ed Harris is like what's going on with these apples and the kid there is like oh fuck yes

not only do I feel bad but I think now I'm going to go to jail or whatever you know he's like hey Brian you know what happened who's throwing these apples

this looks like a professional apple throw a job we know you're the best I don't know that misdemeanor's wearing a Yankee cap in this town I'm going to run you up you're going to

a weekend of the fucking slammer for that Brian listen I came from Pittsburgh for some reason. I used to wear my pirates hat, but I can't. You don't see me wearing a pirate's head all willy-nilly around this town, do you? You should support the main baseball team, the main manors.

Clam-huggers! It's funny, though, because he's asking him, like, yeah, you know anything about these apples there, Brian? And the kid's like, no. And he just goes, then why don't you go home? Well, I mean, I think the idea is like, you don't want to look at two dead bodies, but he doesn't do it in an Ed Harrisy way. No, that's

my point, of course, is this guy cannot say, anything in this movie without sounding like he's yelling orders at people and I love it so much. The great line here that ends the scene, he says to Deputy Norris, he goes, you want the knife or the cleaver? Or Deputy Norris says that to Ed Harris, which one do you want to fucking deal with

here? And then like, there's a task force for three seconds where he's like this wasn't a, you know, this was a scene. Yeah, he's got like the red yarn and he's making all the connections. And there's like seven other deputies you never see before or since. Including Lockland Monroe. Oh yes, that's right. Dude, a 1993 Lockland Monroe

looking exactly like he did in a scary movie a few years later. He's got lines too, good for him. He definitely, that dude was like a baby-faced actor for a really long time. I haven't seen him a lot these days. Yeah, he was on something recently, right? What was that?

Going to bring him back for the new scary movie maybe? He played someone's dad in something. Yes, because I remember we were almost saying this exact same thing if he hasn't been in things in a while. That wasn't screen before, was it? No, it was something newer. No, he's, maybe it'll come to do. Does it matter?

Nah. But whatever. Oh, the mousetrap gift bag is around here. This is a fucking brutal one, though, I think. He just goes, they're like, hey, the whole task force breaks up. And then like... Good meeting task force. We'll reconvene after the movie's over and do it download.

Pie unit, go to the luncheonette. We'll be there in a minute. The pie unit. And, oh, somebody gave me a present. He sticks his hand in. The sound design is great on this. It's who, yeah. A mousetrap of the hand.

It really breaks his own. fingers or whatever. It's a bad one. It's a big ass mouse trap. I think this is a rat trap. You might have to qualify it because it is huge. He's got all four fingers stuck in this thing. It's awful. And the note, so the deal was back of the initial parking ticket that said J.T.

Walshoff, he was parked in a handicapped space. You know, but this is a Stephen King story. So we're calling it the Crip Space. Sure. So this is, there's a note and it's supposed to be from Buster saying the Crip Space is all yours. Uh-huh. That's

he knows going on there Monroe update I think I was thinking of that movie Totally Killer that came out the other year Oh I don't know what that was that That's with Kieran Shipka Yes oh yes yes yes yes It's like kind of like a back to the future Ish thing right

Goes back to it goes back back We got the big lighthouse scene here guys Brian what are you doing this fucking lighthouse You stupid little kid I mean What's bothering you son Oh you have a gun that's all calmed down Yeah yeah big and this is the gun that it's somewhere along

the way von Seidau is like actually let me hold onto that for a second Dan yeah he takes Dan oh it's J.T. Walsh's gun yes that's right oh I'll take that from you Dan what do Brian? Take the hat off to shoot it don't shoot it on your head shoot it on the ground this this cursed hat's gonna be much easier to assassinate if you throw it on the ground

I understand you came to your senses you want to shoot the Yankee hat but take it off your head first and this is when the movie gets really sloppy because clearly in the book Brian does kill himself and I think they must have shot something wherein he did kill himself. They shot him. That's why this kid never wound up in anything after this.

That's why you don't see him in the rest of the movie. No, because he does. And then, like, basically there's this weird shot, like, insert shot of a gun, like, at the beginning of the 1930 Superman show. And it's just, like, firing. And, like, you don't see it. You see Ed Harris' lunge, then the gun in, like, another universe is shooting. Yes.

And then later on, there's, like, a bunch of ad-lib, like, ADR lines of, like, when he shot himself but totally survived. Yes. Yep. I wasn't faster than a speeding bullet. Oh, it got him. There's some crazy ones. All over him.

Well, dude, this is a Pulp Fiction. She goes, don't, or he says, Brian says to Harris. He goes, don't come any closer. You'll get stuff on you. As he's got the gun to his head. Oh, God. It's awful. That's stuff's called brains and blood.

It's going to kill you. Well, it's one of those things when you think about, again, the shining when Danny Lloyd, like Stanley Kubrick was like, made another movie for the kid to think that he was in while he's making this really disturbing movie there's no way to do that it's like hey kid you're going to put a gun

to your head and pretend to shoot yourself because it's the insert for when like the gun goes off or whatever but you are seeing this little kid with a prop gun right to his fucking temple man and he starts telling him here he's like you know he made me do bad things I got to go to hell now don't go into needful things

it's a poison place and Leland Gaunt I don't think we've said his name once Max Man's Idol's character is Leland Gaunt is a poisoned man and then just it's trying to go to hell the night and yeah the Ed Harris like slow motion

yes trying to get at him is well thankfully this town is still you know it's a pretty small town they only probably have a school house so there's not many not a lot of people make it funnier aren't you supposed to be in

fucking kindergarten through 12th grade that's happening right now in the same room at the church everyone goes to school on the base of this lighthouse what are you talking about going to hell all disgusting shit boys go to hell. I've got to told you that.

I just found it in my notes, though. What he says when he fucking brings the gun to his head, Mickey Mantle sucks. Those are the last words of this kid on Earth. Harris picks up the cards. Oh, Mickey Bannels is a really expensive card, Brian. And he signed it to you. Would you go harass him at dinky donuts or what?

And then we get we see the priest shows up at the bar, slashes Mr. Priest's tires. And then this is the bartenders fucking kicking him out again. This is a this guy gets jazzy jeffed out of this bar but falls down some wooden stairs oh fuck this hurts that's awesome you can't be kicking by jukebox man true that's true but he sees his tires

and so that like sets this dude off on whatever mission he's gonna do then he goes to needful things he gets a gun doesn't he i think this one mike's fun satto just starts with you know what here's a good here's a cool terminator two shotgun it's a fucking great line he goes maybe you should go take care of him once and for all yes um but there's a weird domestic thing here where like Ed Harris goes to the diner really quickly and he's like, 11 year old kid tries to eat a bullet and he's like talking to

Polly about it or whatever and he rips, he's like, where'd you get that fucking necklace? Oh, did the devil give that to you? And like, yeah. Rips it off of her or whatever and she's like, oh my hands and it starts happening and he's like, he says he's got this line where it's like oh yeah, that works. Yeah, it probably works better

that fucking percadain and I'm like, hey man, you're battling the devil right now. Let's deal with that another time. You gotta pick one here, buddy. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And in this scene specifically, he's like, a little kid, and then they should cut to like four weeks later. Shot himself, but totally survived, everybody.

Is that okay? Is that okay? Columbia pictures? He's in the great, I mean, hospital right now. He was so young, there was nothing between his ears, so right out one side, it was fine. It actually whizzed past his Yankees cap. The only thing damaged was that damn Yankees cap.

and so like what does he say oh this is where he's like uh von Sida was talking when he gives him the shotgun he's like talking about throughout the years

he's always I've always sold them guns yeah they always want guns these stupid humong yeah it was like oh Macedonia or whatever else he's

is just where like the newspaper clippings of all this Ed Harris has done some research at some point because he throws that in Bonnie Bedelia's face at this diner scene

because he's like I checked and there was never anyone in Scranton, Ohio or Akron, Ohio, rather, named fucking Leland Gant. Hitler takes Austria. Who left the gate open there? Leland Gantz. Oh, who sold

Lee Harvey Oswald, that magical bullet? Leland Gant. That's the thing, is you need, like, a picture of fucking a young Max von Sido in, like, Hitler's, like, closest, like, assistance or whatever. The big, the big group photo of the office Christmas party. Or his name in the print.

He just, like, looks at all these headlines. like bomb dropped to fucking like the massacre I guess he was involved in that like a shining photo of Hitler and stuff

he was always at the party for the fury right yes exactly yes I was actually hanging out with Oppenheimer and I was like hey I got a big

old you do all this math over there but I got the A bomb right here if you wanted or this atom oh here's how you split it

just like this down in the middle who sold who sold Hindenburg all that helium it was Leland God yes that's correct

He did something at all. Every last drop of it. Who do you think Greenlett the book of Boba Fett? Leland fucking Gant. Fucking self-driving cars? Yeah, Leland Gant. Waymo.

Waymo is actually ancient Aramaic for Satan. Samaria demon. Waymo. Trump University, Leland Gant. Turned it to lowbrow for me. I don't know. Pasta made out of grown-up chickpeas? Leeland fucking gone.

Yeah, he started bazaar, whatever the fuck that place. God, that fucking shit sucks. People that put a little bit of peas in their spaghetti? Leeland fucking gone. Raisins and coleslaw, Leland gone. Cheesecake Factory, B.F. Changs. Goes down through the ages. Apples and chicken salad, Leland.

So, oh, great Jesus reference. Oh, yes. Because Mr. Priest is like, oh, Jesus or whatever. And Max von Zadda is like, oh, that fine young carpenter from Nazareth had a lot of promise died badly. Yes, I also, that was me. I did that one. Punchus pilot, I can sell you a couple of nails if you want. I got it just two good ones here.

I just need you to pull a trick on Jesus really quickly. This doesn't really seem like a prank artist. It's a prank. So Alan goes to see what's going on at Needful Things, finds it closed until further notice sign. We see Polly decides, you know what? Maybe I should see what's inside this necklace. She takes it off and tries to break it open.

And this is like, this effect of Bonnie Medelia's hands. Turning to the lobster claws. Yes, and like all the crunchy sounds that are happening of her bones contorting and whatnot. Delicious. Yeah. While she's wearing the riskiest negligee, the spice channel ever produced.

Spice up your life. Every point out of it for girls That's right I will spice up my life With Bonnie Bedelia Not a bad place to be I mean there's no way She's ever gonna lose this thing

Because if the fucking chain breaks It's not moving It is just comfortably nestled It is wild Well I do think that like Leeland gods I guess I will destroy Whoa look at that one

Holy shit I do no plan No plan Even I am not made of stone Brimstone yes But actual stone no Oh what you say You say you got this from the spice

channel. Very wonderful channel. They do have sex, right? That's the idea. Like, he comes in, he stops her, he puts the necklace back on her. He puts it back on, yeah. It doesn't hurt anymore, right?

I refuse to tell you what's in it. It would spoil the fun. Apparently in the novel, why don't we get to fade to black around here? In the novel, apparently, Stephen King's style, there's an evil spider inside of it that she has to kill. Ooh, yeah, kind of like a big turtle or whatever. Maybe there's just another evil, extradementional

spider clickety clack there's an extra dimensional hmm look around my office here oh look at that little guy in the corner of the ceiling spider got it there's a crab spider in it but there's not just a spider so maybe it's a crab I thought it was a turtle it's the same year yes oh

it when you see the real it's a spider is it like a spider crab thing right right right yeah that man it just gets dumber and dumber the more you watch that movie um so yeah this is yeah Leland does all that or whatever The cool thing is when Alan Ed Harris breaks into needful things, the place is completely empty. No one's ever lived there.

He goes down to the fucking basement. It's also like emptyish or whatever, but there is. Where's the Nazi stuff? Where's the Nazis stuff go? The plates are supposed to be down here. Oh my God. Every building built in New York City post-2015, Leland fucking gone. You know those big skinny ones?

The stupid ones. You know, those buildings that they build and only Chinese. billionaires buy the fucking apartment so they never fucking move in. Leeland fucking Gant. Yes, I actually had to hire some other Igmar Bergman actors to help me out. And when we were destroying Newark City. So, yeah, Leeland tells her right here, oh, Dan and Alan were embezzling. All he's going to do is cause you pain.

And then this is his line, though. I've always enjoyed these ladies who take great pride in themselves. He's seducing her. This is, oh, this is, in the basement, Alan finds all the newspaper. Hitler, Congress, Poland, yeah. The president is dead. That's a fucking funny headline. And then, yes, including in that, is the local newspaper, the Castle Rock, Penny Saver, whatever the fuck.

The great crimes of history, also the turkey farmer died. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Nazis, atomic bomb, murdered turkey farmer. Are you familiar with the turkey farmer? And then also very important, a shit ton of explosives in the, basement of this store. Polly goes to Allen's

boat to try to find him and that's if she finds all this money so she thinks that yes, her suspicions were confirmed that Polly and Dan are in cahoots. I will say I'm happy they cut a lot out of this. There's some, I think you could have gotten a little bit more of the mother who explained why Brian wants to kill himself and why he understands it more. But the

one thing they should have kept in is there is an earlier scene where you get to see her and him on the boat and like having a nice time. And Ed Harris, I'm sorry. Where's the sluttiest outfit. Hell yeah. His thing, it is a blousey

J. Jill's sweater. Ooh. With tight jeans. And this man is just throwing it around. He's ready to fucking do it. It's kind of like his outfit in the creep show, funny enough. He's whoring out a little bit than that. I don't remember him.

There's like an open shirt going on and it's where he does some intense, coaked out dancing. It's the birthday cake. But Delia, where's my birthday cake? What a little slutty is a little bit. Or Father's Day cake. uh no i think it's a birthday i think yeah but do you know where i don't remember it doesn't matter and then a fucking big uh zombie tombstone gets pushed on his head and he gets oh yes uh it's fucking

uh it's fucking great j t walsh uh rams his car into uh norris's outside the police station at this point or whatever and then this is a great norris is like finally had enough he goes out to confront j t wals he goes get this you fat fuck and punches him in the face he handcuffs him to his car ed harris stops him from killing each other he's like listen things you're getting rough in this town. I'm going to need you. Just put this son of a bitch at a holding cell. Yeah. And, uh, Norris tries to like beat him up a little bit more and then fucks up and then J.T knocks him out. I am not a piece of shit. He yells at it. Which is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. A big trailer moment. Oh yeah. And he's just going for it. J.T. Walsh style.

Oh, absolutely. And so he, yeah, he dupes, uh, Norris at this point, gets the better of him, gets the keys to the car. And he's driving home. handcuffed to the outside door handle which is very funny but this is where he gets home and he's fucking honking the horn screaming for this wife and everything and then she finally comes out and he goes

thought you died on the jar he's screaming at her get me the fucking sarr the screwdriver and a hammer and I'm going to like break myself out of first give me your wrist give me your wrist I go fucking hosier you know what I'm on he's calling her a fucking moron and then oh did you fuck him did you fuck him

you fuck Norris yes yeah You and Norris put up the tickets together, you know, this is that, the other thing. Okay. And then he just fucking murders her with a hammer, like pretty brutally off screen. Yeah, but it's like, you know what's going. You get what's going on. I want to see it, though. I want to see it.

Leather face style. Yeah, just a clunk, you know. Give me that clunk sound. Give me a couple hits. You want some Hellraiser wax there? That's what you're thinking? Some real hammer wax from that movie? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric, if you want to have snuff films, you could just reactivate your Twitter appellate. I did. Come back to the 80. I actually did. Come back to the 80s, Eric. Come back to the 80s. I did. When I opened it, I saw nothing but murder on this. There you go. Big trailer line here.

J.T. Walsh calls Max von Sederger goes, I just killed my wife. Is that wrong? Hey, these things happen. Yeah. It's so awesome. And he gives Dan the explosives to bury in the church. And he's doing that. I think, and J.T.

W. Maxwell Tito is still there. I think here's what he's like, you're quite disgusting. I like that in a person, which is a great line. Well, we're now firmly in J2 Wash every other. He's like, I want to die. Please kill me. I want to die. I love what he's got him.

He's digging the hole to put the explosives outside the church. And he's like, now keep digging. I don't know. I killed my wife. You're going to kill me if I do this. It's like, yeah, yeah. Farmers don't kill you. But first, keep digging. Keep digging.

It's just so. I feel like the devil's working. too fast here, right? Let's slow marinate this town. You know, we've had a lot happen. Give it a maybe a month or two other shit happens. Exactly. The law is on me.

I've got to go to hell tonight. Alan goes to the priest to try to explain to him like, hey, man, what's the devil like? Because I'm pretty sure the devil has come to Castle Rock. And this is where the priest is analyzing the chalice like really quickly or whatever. Oh, well, the devil. Yeah, no, he's probably from Akron, Ohio. That's number one. German accent for sure, mustache.

He's from the evil Europe. I don't know. One of those. And because the priest is in the pocket of big Satan already, he's like refusing to have Leland Gant is a decent man. What are you talking about? Well, he's also like, I know who the devil is. It's that Willie Rose. Yeah, the Reverend Rose. Oh, that's the devil right there, sonny. The only thing we agree on is

that Leland Gant is a wonderful man. We should do more for this. Maybe he should be mayor. And when he screams, it's that damned Reverend Willie rose the church explodes pretty fantastic man blowing up a fucking Irish priest's church I thought he was gonna get impaled by this spire and it would have been a better

movie if he was you just wanted to do a full sleepy hollow right there why not well I'll tell you because they certainly set it up that way don't they I mean you see this spire falling off the church and there's a shot of the priest looking up like no and I was like oh but it just like fell 20 feet away

I guess it's also in the omen to a priest gets isn't that what happens to David Warner David Warner gets to capitated by a pane of glass that falls off a truck. There's a priest earlier in the film where a... It's not a whole spire. It's like one metal rod and falls down and like gets them right

through the chest or whatever. But yeah, it's those goddamn Baptists and he's like running out to wage war on this Reverend Rose here or whatever. And I love this shot Boncideau just puffing on this cigarolo, just watching his fucking work go down.

I'm surprised he doesn't have a rocking chair. That's what for that outside. To rock out to the spice girls. I know it's a controversial but I am a sporty spice supporter. That is my lady right there. I like the idea that he's wearing this big maleficent hat

and a dark coat and he opens it up. He's got like a pink crop tie up with spice written glitter on it. I just loved him. Many people think I'm a baby spice supporter, but no, no, no. Sporty spice. Oh, and don't get to started on scary she doesn't scare me she thrills me although yes i am a big eddie murphy oh yes scary how would you thank you for coming in

would you like uh to uh meet eddie mergers that should go well for you the devil's union right there would you like to have a child with him do they have a kid together i believe so the town's all going ape shit yes uh we're in the end times as in end of the movie the baptist and the catholic are fucking fighting each other. Really, just really, a real slobber knocker right out the street. Another pretty good fight. And then there's a, like, a car smashes into

another one, and this guy's like, he stole my Treasure Island book or something. My first edition, Robert Lewis, Stevenson Treasure Island. The principal. Yeah, the principal of school got that. That's in the montage, you see somebody getting that. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And clearly, there's more with him in the TV cup

because we don't know that he's the principal. He sees a glowing copy of Treasure Island. Ah! Ha! ha! This is too much. I don't need Treasure Island guy. Yeah, I love Von Sider. Kill them all. Let God sort them out.

Somebody breaks into the gasoline and chainsaw store, which is right next to Needful Things. Yeah, the Gass and Saw. There's three stores. It's a gasoline store, gasoline and chainsaw store, the diner, and Needful Thing. That's it. That's all you need. Probably want a general store somewhere to get some groceries. Groceries.

That's what the gas and chainsaw store used to be. And they're like, we're making more money on the gas and chainsaws than the general. You want to eat at home? I'll swing by Wilma's turkey slaughter farm. Yeah, exactly. The luncheonette. If you don't want diner food, which is like turkey clubs and, you know, that turkey bacon at their omelet, you can go to the turkey farm and just have a turkey, I guess.

That's right. So Ed Harris, he's just had enough with this. And this is amazing. He just screams, no, and just starts firing this gun into the sky because he's being forced. Like, no, you got to shoot him, shoot him. Do it, Ed Harris. Because the priest is about to kill the Baptist And he's not to stop him, he does that.

And like, I was like, do it. Do it now. And then Ed Harris, like, you have the town's attention here, man. You screamed louder than anyone's ever screamed in Castle Rock before. They're all looking at you. And you start throwing out this complicated metaphor about fucking fuse boxes. Just tell him the devil's messing with these. Yeah, it's like a fucking fuse box.

And he's wiring you to her and you to him. Okay, all right. Is this a licensed electrician doing this? Does anybody have a notebook? I want to get this down. And the fuses are empty. They're not the right size. They're not 18 watt to 14 watt.

You understand. It's a very difficult situation. And this devil never went to a trade school in his fucking life. You're saying there's going to be no power tonight at that town? And then you don't know where to buy fuses. And you have to ask your neighbor. Where do I buy fuses? Well, this is sort of why I like this movie is like this big speech.

It's very end of a twilight zone. episode, right? And Ed Harris has the gravitas to make it feel like a good one. It's just like, he's explaining it in his big, like, modelogue about, we need to trust each other and do this and do that. Right. And it's

fucking great, man. I mean, because the town really starts coming around to shit or whatever. Uh-oh, here comes J.T. Walsh with Lee Harvey Oswald's gun. But first you have my favorite is Boxwood's side. Oh, you losers. Oh, you That's such pathetic puppets.

He calls Ed Harris a woozy. Yes. I stole your girl, by the way. Oh, man. I threw that back out, as you say, von Seidau style. Clapping ass von Seidot style. How do you like having Seidau seconds?

Sideout seconds. Just reheat him in the microwave with your side of turkey meat. because that's what she is bro I'll tell you something me and your wife hung out and we did not play chess if you understand my meaning quite a lot of dunking

was happening that night I got cucked by the devil radio I got cooked by the devil that should be the single till I saw the devil I got cucked by the devil you sit there and watch I'll take

I make something about head and her sister I was like I got nothing something something well just circle the block and see if anything shakes out uh but this he yeah so he screamed everything to the townspeople

he's he's rewired as is that the other thing you're finished in this town and then boom ed harris shot by the sniper you do get the sniper scope but they don't show you that it's JT. Wals so then J.T. Walsh runs out with the big rifle or whatever and the fucking dynamite strapped to his chest and stomach

he's just all wired up Awesome. He comes out talking shit immediately. He's like, you guys sound like a fucking AA meeting out here. Hi, my name is Dan, and I'm here to blow up your fucking town. All those idiots that go to AA, which I don't need. And then Von Seidau right here, I think overplays his hand, right? Because he's trying to convince him to do it. He's like, just do it, Buster.

Like he calls him Buster. And then J.T. Wals turns around and goes, it was you, you cocksucker. He's like, you know, but he calls me bastard. He jumps. And you know what? It's the 1990s and we are blowing up house. Dude, this is one of the greatest explosions.

By the way, you want to know why in this country you can't afford to buy a house? There it is. We blew them all up in the 90s for movies. But this is amazing. You see so many, these boards flying off this house. Yeah, just splinters of wood flying through the air. It's so great. It's like squib stuff.

You just can't beat it. And this fucking Norris, man, this guy's great with the one-one. liners. He just comes up after this huge catastrophe and all this explosion stuff. Huh. Shouldn't have called him Buster. Yeah. So good. Because he jumps into

Von Sido into the house. Tackles him through the window. That should be the end of Von Sider. A lot of good it did. Yeah. He just comes out. This is awesome. Just dusting himself off, man. It's so great. He's like, oh, not to my best work of this town. There are days when I really hate this job, which is so

fucking funny. Just this like time card punching devil man this is just a job to me it's so cool give my regards to your grandson bob will be his name we'll meet in jacotta in 20503 we'll make some headlines oh nice beautiful morning that day oh yeah beautiful morning that day well you know that's inspiring that there will be a 2050 three i really didn't see that coming but stay out of jacarta that year right you don't know what's going to otherwise jacarta is wonderful and beautiful and nothing bad happens there. Just because he's done things like, you know, Dr. Sleep and he's continued

some other characters and stories, I was like, all these years later, has King written something that is that 2053 story? Because like, you got it there, dude. I'm sure it's in a back pocket, the fucking index card somewhere. Say, they want another movie after the long walk didn't so well, maybe

it's Jakarta by Stephen King. Yeah, take it off the shelf, take a look at that story. Take out all the flying cars, take out all the stuff that the good things about the future. Take out the United States of America. That's long gone by 2053. That's definitely dead. But then we see him just the way he came

in, he drives out of Castle Rock, and then we get the reverse Beetlejuice. Yes. Like it's just the, I think they just fucking played the same footage backwards of the lighthouse and coming up the water. But it also disappears. The car disappears before it. Oh, yes. That's cool. Yeah, it hits the castle, you know, now entering Castle Rock sign coming the other way.

And like, hold it a little longer because it is a quick, like, like it just disappears. I didn't even notice this. Yeah. It's a cool, like, effect, but show, you know, it's like a cheap, are you afraid of the dark special effect? Hold my hands. But that is the end of this movie, this overly long Stephen King adaptation.

We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts. Mr. Siska. It's a no for me. No, I recommend just because it's, I feel so bloated. It feels like, it's like when Mr. Burns can't get sick because all the diseases are going to off. Yes, they're all going in the door at the same time. I just feel like this is so overstuffed that I don't know where to focus on it.

And I guess maybe this three-hour cuts what I need to see. There's more stuff in it, that's for sure. Do you think it works better as a full-length? Yes, it does. It absolutely does. Okay, I'll put that on my never list. You don't really don't have to bother with it. I don't have to bother with it.

You don't have to bother with it. But if you're a kinghead, I feel like you should check it out. If you're Harris head, I think it's worth seeing for a Harris head out there. If you want some side-out sides. Some fun side-out seconds. So, you know, it's, I guess it's border. It's not a record. I was still bored with it. There you go. Chris Cabin.

I'll go on this. I was a light recommend because of this cast. This cast is so fucking good. And they really do bring you home with all this stuff. Like, I don't think any of this would work. If you don't have J.T. Walsh. You don't have Amanda Plummer. If you don't have Ed Harris here, if you don't have Max Fonsido here, this thing does not work. But you got them all here.

So it does work. So I kind of give it all on that. There you go. Steve Sadeck. Definitely on the light recommend tip as well. I think the story is kind of fun. it's not well realized in terms of like again it should just be a Twilight Zone thing

Unrealized Unrealized Make it streamlined I'm sure the novel is much better Or maybe it's not I don't know But it's also this thing where like I think it's on the better half

Of Stephen King adaptations Because it's not a TV movie It's got a great cast It looks pretty good Again it's very It's just competent in most of it's in the ways you want it to be you could do worse it could also be a little shorter for sure yeah now it's a recommend for me i wouldn't say a hearty recommend it's a i i've admitted it a nostalgia driven

recommend but yeah if you're a king person this is great this is honestly like if you're a king person that also enjoys hangover movies you can kind of just like nestle into this fucker watch some good you know explosions at the end watch some good performances and so on so i mean there's things about it just for me and like my head canon it is just like just like Stephen King adaptation in the 90s, I was there for them and this was one that I rented multiple times, I never owned it, but I never really rented

Needful Things multiple times. So you know, do with that all what you will, gentle listener, but that is the end of our discussion about Charlton Heston's son's adaptation of Needful Things, Fraser Heston of course. But if you want more WeA movies, including commercial free versions of shows exactly like the one you've

just finished listening to now, head over to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash we eight movies where yes, every Tuesday When a new episode of WHM drops, you can get over there commocial free, along with our family of bonus shows, including... Well, if you're like a huge spookacular fan, like, oh, it's the best time of the year. I agree with you. It's my favorite time of the year. Yeah.

We've got a supersized spooktacular this year because on the new Craven tier, we're doing a video show on Barbarian. Yes, that's right. That's right. It'll be a scarity cat, which is going to be a quarterly new horror show that we do newer horror movies. and then we're in video and audio format but then we're releasing starting with Barbarian Zach Craigger's Barbarian

and then we are also on once in a lifetime we are going to be doing a not lifetime movie but equivalent The Haunted which is an Ed and Lorraine Warren tale kind of TV movie

Yes Fox from Fox TV movie from 1991 that was a lot of fun to lay down another ride another conjuring ride if you like that conjuring episode just a little more blood from that warren conjuring stone you jeff de mun fans are going to be happy oh yeah and you jeff de mustache fans are also going to be happy there also be a we love movies episode on uh the patreon all about texas chainsaw massacre in 1974 that's right as a matter of fact that actually technically kicked off the sputacular last thursday look at that so you can get that bad boy now talking about one of the greatest horror films of all time on the gleep glossary we'll be talking about one of the vong i I haven't gone through the paperwork yet, but it's one of those Hellraiser demon characters. You're still trying to get the permit for which character.

I am, yeah, exactly. I got to go to needful things to get my permit. You want the vong, do you? And what's going on with animation damnation this month? Not a clue just yet. Nothing, how well, it'll be scary, that's for sure. It will be. And, of course, shows like Mel Rotechia will continue where,

yeah, things are getting freaking crazy on both of those programs. I believe we're coming up almost to the end of that 90210 season. Yes. We're going to graduate, baby. Oh, wow, look at us growing up so fast. But before we graduate, I think we've got to get through prom and the after effects. Oh, boy.

So, you know, let Donna Martin graduate. We also have a Star Trek sideshow. We're talking about the animated series of TOS and as well as TNG. We're chugging along. And if you, again, you're a big spooktacular fan. Even more content, there will be a sinkable commentary of Friday the 13th Part 2. the four of us hanging out watching talking

Fred of their teeth bar too. This is crazy. There's so much stuff on that picture. I literally forgot about that. And we recorded that already. We recorded it a while ago and I was like, what are you bringing up, Steve? Oh yeah. Both I should say the commentary and the Scarity Cats debut episode on Barbarian. We'll be coming out the end of the month right before all

Hallows Eve. So just in time for you to get all crazy with that. But like we said, it's horror time, baby. It is the best time of the year. The Halloween's Bucatcular rolls on. We're just getting going. Steve Sadek. What creepy movie are we talking about next Tuesday? It is Rob Zombie's Halloween. Oh, wow. And that's the first one? The first one. 2007. I don't know how, but we're going to have to do more cursing than usual. Because that movie

curses more than I do. Also, you can't shower and you have the dirtiest clothes you have, Eric. Yeah, we got to be hellbillies. Way ahead of you. Okay. Way ahead of you, Chief. So, it Until next week, when we all turn into Rob Zombie Loving Hellbillies, I've been Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadak. Eric Sisker. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.