We Hate Movies - S16 Ep834: Just Friends (2005)

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

“I had people in my life telling me this was a funny movie…” - Steve On this week’s show, we’re getting into our month of holiday programming with a chat about the totally dated Christmas comedy, Just Friends! How annoying is it that this movie barely cares about being set at Christmas? Why couldn’t we get just a little more for the incredible Julie Hagerty to do in the movie? How abhorrent is the entire idea of the “Friend Zone” in the first place? Is this one of the biggest public humiliations at a movie’s house party? And why is Ryan Reynolds doing a Cartman voice when he’s in that abysmal fat suit the production borrowed from the Friends archive? PLUS: A Jared from Subway reference in this film that Chris accurately describes as “completely destabilizing”! Just Friends stars Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Paris, Chris Klein, Christopher Rodriguez Marquette, Fred Ewanuick, Amy Matysio, and Julie Hagerty as Carol Brander; directed by Roger Kumble. This week’s episode is brought to you in part by Sonos. Discover how easy it is to bring every room to life with incredible sound. Explore Sonos speakers, soundbars, and more at sonos.com! Also by Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM today. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! And by Uncommon Goods! To get 15% off your next gift, go to UNCOMMON GOODS dot com slash whm. That’s UNCOMMON GOODS dot com slash whm, for 15% off! Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer. Uncommon Goods. They’re all out of the ordinary. Be sure to snag your tickets to see our 15th Anniversary show at the Bell House in Brooklyn this Saturday, December 6! We’re celebrating the better part of two decades on the air while talking about the fantastic Arnold sci-fi action adventure, Total Recall! Click through to get your tix now, it’s close to selling out!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey, folks, shout out to Sonos for sponsoring today's show. You know, this holiday season, you're going to want to give that gift of Sonos sound, and we're going to tell you exactly how to do it later in the program. Hey, just a reminder, if you guys are listening to this on the day it comes out, which is Tuesday, the 2nd of December, just a few days from now on the 6th, that's Saturday night, this Saturday night, we're going to be at the bellhouse in beautiful Brooklyn, New York, for our 15th anniversary show, talking all things, WHM, talking to all things, total, call the Arnold and Sharon edition, okay? Tickets are on sale. Now, limited number of tickets, I should

say, y'all, we are so stoked to be back in Brooklyn playing this hometown show for our 15th anniversary. It's going to be a lot of fun, y'all. So check it out this Saturday, December 6th, Bell House, beautiful Brooklyn, New York. We're talking total recall, everybody, live WHM 15th anniversary show. Tickets at WHMpodcast.com. All right, folks, that's going to do it. Let's get to the show. We are starting the holiday programming off right. That's right. Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit trying to woo Amy Smart. We're talking just friends. Enjoy the show, y'all. Cool, man.

Woo-hoo! This week on the program, you know, after finally seeing this movie, I would have thought that fat suit got a little more play. We're talking just friends. I'm Andrew Jupin. This is how I actually look. Steven Sadek. Just Eric Siska.

And I swear. Oh. I don't even know the lyrics. The shadows and stars in the sky. go. There you go. Chris Gavin. Hi. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. that's right. It is December, which means we are getting into some holiday-themed programming talking about 2005's

Just Friends directed by Roger Cumbull. Cumball? Cumball. Cumbull. Cumbull. Cumbull, without the R. How is that where you got a lot of drive first and then you roll it up? Yeah. Instead of a snowball, you understand.

Oh. Yeah. But this is when I watched this the other night, I was like, I've seen this guy's name somewhere. You sure have to. Cruel intentions. Oh, wow. Absolutely. They let him back.

Cruel intention. Check out this filmography. Cruel intentions. Better movie. Cruel intentions, too. Probably better movie because it's nudity in that. Probably smart.

Yeah, yeah. The sweetest thing. Not familiar. That is Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair going on a road trip. People tell you that's a fun movie. They can keep saying that.

Dude, I remember the trailer for that movie. They tease some sexy girl-on-girl action. Oh, wow. Welcome to the early on. It's all fake, though. Come ball. Then you got this movie comes, and then college road trip with Martin Lawrence and Raven Simone.

Oh, no. And then he's done some other, like, present day Netflix things that are garbage. He's done a lot of television, but his last, like, movie that hit a theater screen was, I believe it was 2011 Brendan Fraser's Furry Vengeance. Oh, nice. This dude directed the forest animals protesting deforestation movie. Was that the movie that we stopped with Brendan Frazier then? Yes, for a long time.

I think that was one of the final, you know what? We'll put this in a theater and see what happens. And then they saw what happens. I had a stomach virus and I watched that movie. Furry vengeance? Yeah, sure did. Did it make it worse? Yes.

So then your tummy really started. It's about he becomes a furry as a sexual revenge against his girlfriend. If it was about a movie where like a furry is going around getting revenge on someone that killed his wife, sure. This movie is about he's a real estate developer and animals themselves are protesting getting their forest taking down. Walking tall as a furry, now we're talking. That's much better. Than Dr. Doolittle but a lawyer. Yeah, I'm a big old raccoon.

I'm going to fucking kill you. You killed my raccoon wife. My bat's sticky. Yeah, you ever see a raccoon pick up a big two by four? Well, you are right now. Yeah, so this movie is a movie that I didn't see in its entirety until yesterday, and this was a movie. I did remember, so this came out Thanksgiving of 2005, so I was back at the multiplex projecting off of time at purchase. And I never saw it.

I projected it a bunch of times, and you had to, of course, clean the theater over credits, right? So I remember him in the fat suit, dead-eyed, staring at it. at the camera singing the all for one song as I'm sweeping up popcorn alone. Oh, man, terrifying stuff. This is a movie at the time, I don't know if anybody else had this. I had people in my life telling me this is

a funny fucking movie. Really? Quoting this movie. Do you still talk to these people? I believe, yes, I do. But, you know, I'm going to put it on blast. I'm sure we've all grown out of it. You should call them up, though. Dude, call them right now. Hey, I'm still feeling about just friends. Who is this?

Let's get them on the line. I mean, this really does. for me recalibrate a lot of my feelings on Ryan because like for a while I'm there I'm like back in the day I had to laugh at Ryan Reynolds occasionally Of course you did everybody did I wasn't into him

That's the thing is I look back at this Because I didn't see some theaters either This was I think just like maybe five 10 years ago It was on TV and I watched it Where it belongs Exactly and I'm like I'm watching this yesterday I'm like thank God for Deadpool

I'm like funnel this into something and maybe it works, but this free form, Ryan Reynolds, no thank you. You can see what was going on here a little bit in the car scene specific. So when he bottoms out on like the first date with her and then he goes and sits in the car and freaks out about all the stupid shit that he said, he is gym carrying like nobody's business in that moment. And that's when I realized I was like, oh no, had it not been for Deadpool, the mission to

become Canada's next Jim Carrey and indeed Hollywood's. next Jim Carrey would have been his line of sight for who knows how he tried it for years and years and it bombed out and then like I mean like Deadpool was almost like a last gasp because you did that stupid Wolverine movie and it was like oh this is your big chance everybody loves Deadpool

and it was horrible and then like for years like no you got to give him the right chance and they gave him the right chance you gotta let him talk it's a miracle they gave him that chance I agree but it worked out for Deadpool here not so much but you do see that you see what would become dead

Like they're looking at the screen It had to be channeled though You can't This allowing this to just go He's not Jim Carrey Jim Carrey can just go This guy can't Jim Carrey could do this movie

In his fucking sleep Oh it'd be so easy It's not even It's rude to say Ryan Reynolds period But the character here And I think his character As an early Ryan Reynolds

His comedic persona Was very unlikable It was very smarmy It was a good looking But smarmy Kind of like the Dane Cook School of kind of. Yes. Yes. No. And like that was so much the point. That was

I mean, he wasn't so much of a scumbag. But I mean, even him back playing Bird on two guys a girl in a pizza place, he was kind of the jerk of the two guys. Yeah. And that, you know, you see that. I mean, that's the Van Wilder character in a total nutshell. I'm going to talk real slow to you because you're

so fucking stupid. Which in itself is you can kind of hear Jim Carrey. It sure is. You know, it's all just right there, you know. And even in, um, he sort of is just doing Van Wilder finally graduated in Harold and Kumar when he's the doctor for two seconds. Oh, yeah.

And even that, I remember it was like in the trailer, he like pulls the mask down and like says a line. And I'm not going to shit talk that because that, him getting behind that movie is the only reason that movie got made. He was very much like, you should do this and I'll be in it so you can like put my face in it so people might come to the movie. Steve, you hate him more now?

not a big Harold and Kumar fan but that's fine. I love that movie. First one's totally great. I can't speak on the sequels. I didn't like the second movie and I didn't see the Christmas movie. But that first movie, as far as Dude Stone driving around Jersey looking for food, I still think

is very funny. Thumbs up. But yeah, this, I mean, this is him in, it's also like, can we make him work in a Christmas situation where it's like there's no way this. Yeah, Christmas time. But there's no way a character Like, you know what I mean?

Like, this is supposed to be kind of like a Scrooge. He's a rich guy comes around to see the value in like, you know, solid relationships and this, not the other thing. But like, I don't believe for two seconds that this guy changed anyway. All of that's missing. And that's what the problem with the- There's no heart. There's literally no heart to this movie.

Yeah. We'd start where you want every single movie to start. New Jersey in 1995. You would want that. I do feel like this was, it was one of those scripts that probably was written before 9-11 and you should have at that point just burnt it because like after that like I am watching this movie what do you want

like the the neighborhood dad did die in 9-11 that no because it's this tone of comedy was happening all the time right before 9-11 and it's still petered for a little bit after it but by like 2006

2007 we were steering out of it but it was yeah this is agro maxim mail magazine man comedy. Why this movie is the way it is to me, at least, is that we were stuck on the word and it was a national sensation. Metrosexual? No.

Friend Zone. Yes. The Friend Zone thing. I feel like that was 99, 2000, and that was the core of this movie. And then, like, 9-11 happens. Friend Zone is no longer the great national emergency it was fucking a couple years ago.

I got a problem with your history here, dude. I don't know. I thought the word you were going to say would be the R word or the F that ends in the T. Oh, I mean, those are all part, I mean, like, that is part of the comedy of this era, right? I mean, I mean, this is, this feels so solidified

2005. Yes, I agree. No, yeah, it does. This feels so of its time. It's Bush era. I think what you mean. I think that's what you mean. Because I think that's what the problem with your history is, I think that went on until like 8, 9, 10. Then we were sort of getting out of the, like, that first manosphere,

Spike TV horse shit And then we kind of got out of it a little bit And then we obviously went back to something else I think the move Much darker From a research perspective Would be to see what Like big box comedies

Such as they were Looked like in 2010 Yeah exactly And I'm trying to think like Was Dayton Cook still making movies That's your appetow thing Which is a bit of a softer gentler kind of world

And that is 2006 That's Wedding Crashers That's Wedding Crashers feels like the last breath of that stuff. That was the same year as this. I think Wedding Crashers was also 05. Yeah, I want to say knocked up as like 08 maybe

Oh, you're right. Knocked up is 07. 40 year old Virge is 2005. You're out of 2004. You're right. Yeah. You also though, let's not forget, speaking of Amy Smart being in this movie, of course. Amy Smart is also the pined after lady friend in road trip 2000-ish.

Or no. 2001? Or 90s? Something like that. 2000, 2000. She's also the monkey's paw digit in the movie Butterfly effect that keeps getting fucked with it every time. Oh, right, yes. She just, her life keeps being horrible. Yes.

2000 road trip. Road trip is 2000. Wedding Crashers is 05. And then also in their old school. So yeah, the road trip to old school, those Todd movies, man. Yes, yeah, exactly. Right in there also. That leads to your wedding crash.

But old school does not feel nasty like this does. I agree. I remember liking old school. school, and I think I might still have that opinion. Luke Wilson is called the Fsler in the first 12 seconds of them. That's a nastier movie, I'd bet. I haven't seen it in a while.

It's a nasty movie. Word-wise, it's still using all those words, it's all that, and I hate that shit. But it's the core of the movie being so, like, like this piece of shit. You are going to love this piece of shit because he was friend-zoned. And that is the great fucking national disaster of our time.

It's men who fucking love these women being friend-zoned and not fucking fucked every time. They deserve it. You gotta fuck them. They put the time in you. They deserve it. I mean, you could argue it.

This is returned, Chris, right? Like, isn't, like, aren't all of our intellectuals, like Jordan Peterson saying that we need to have, like, government-issued girlfriend? Oh, yeah. But they're not making comedies anymore. Like, that's a difference, I think. Because you're my government-issued girlfriend.

You'll be with me till the end. or until I don't pay my government girlfriend fees and the government takes you away from me. Darren did that. Jerome Peterson's crazy. Chad GPT was invented. They made your girlfriend. That's what you're supposed to do.

Now all these sex chats are telling him to kill themselves. Those ladies got the right idea. The weird thing about this movie is that he doesn't, because the friend zoned epidemic or problem or thing that we thought about problem epidemic. It's just guys with no game. Exactly. And it's a matter of, as the guy with no game, realizing, oh, you know, this woman wants to be a friend with, be my literal friend, I can accept that on those terms, or I can end my association in a nice way and be like, ah, you know, I'm going to blah, blah, blah.

But it's this idea that, like, there's a malicious intent on the other half of that is the issue. You know what I mean? This is a weird case, though, because he is turned this way, not only. due to a lady, but due to a massive public humiliation, like a carry-sized level of public humiliation. He starts out fat, which is always funny, a fat suit, of course, it's hilarious. Fat suit, you got your Norbit, you've got your, we were very big and I was fat in high school, and now I'm sexy friends is all that shit.

Oh, dude, yeah, Courtney Cox, I think Ryan Reynolds rented the fucking fat suit from Courtney Cox. Okay, so it would have had to have been nutty professor that allowed this to happen to the nation, right? Because this was happening, like shallow I think about shallow how and my whole fucking body starts. I saw that movie in theaters. We gotta do that one. Oh, definitely have to do that way.

And it's just, it's, it's, that's the nastiness here. And also, Ryan Reynolds is doing a Cartman voice when he has a fat suit on. He sure is. Amazing. I'm kind of fat. I mean, expect him to get a cheesy poof. It's disgusting. It didn't happen when I was like, this kid's talking about cheesy poop. The whole thing of like, oh, I got friends zoned in high school. I was fat. I was

unpopular. This this event happens to me. He goes and moves LA becomes fit, has a high paying job, is enamored with multiple women. Why do you need revenge on your high school people?

It's a weird, I think. Aren't you already, like, can't you consider yourself having a win already? It's at least and I'm not like defending this character, but I do appreciate that it's the, no, listen, it's the landing in the hometown. Yeah. That

inspires it and it's not like he's just been like he doesn't have a dartboard of Jamie Smart's Amy character in his awesome LA Hollywood Hills house that he's throwing fucking knives at he does go to his buddy who's just like oh I'm gonna go out of date and go to dayday

you get friend zone you're right it's the fucking worst thing I've ever happened to you you're fucking friend zone you're right you're right I did forget about that part no but it's it's like it's the problem is that I think you're right is that he doesn't learn that lesson it's not a lesson that is learned is like oh I should have just given up high

or like no the lesson is persistence throughout decades to quote a great philosopher of our time Stephen Urkel I'm wearing her down I mean if a girl doesn't like you or a man or whatever doesn't like you within the first

like five minutes it's done yeah well no there has to be a chemistry they have the answer at the end of this movie nothing nothing of what happens to the movie lends itself to this yeah but the answer is right there put yourself out there see what happens if you get rejected you get rejected you get rejected and you get over it that is what you're supposed to do there's a lot there's what 50 51% of the population yeah that sounds right that's a lot of people yeah yeah that's a lot of people you could get rejected you have literally thousands of soulmates out there but literally all over there yes I know it's a cliche or the fish in the sea or whatever but hey cliche some cliches are correct you know put you there's a lot of fish in the sea and there's a lot of seamen and uh that are pursuing those fish it's true which is um

You think about Avatar again? How we make Gordon's fish sticks. Yeah, I knew we get to something. I don't know. He's a big old fat kid. Sure is. Been there. And this is, and this is like, again, this is all on the guy.

You don't do stuff like this. Don't do things you saw in a movie. Such as this. You are marking up this poor girl's yearbook with this long fecocta fucking I've been so into you for this entire 10 years we've been friends. Like, you got to look at this man. she jumps onto her bed with you she's rolling all over the place has no concern whatsoever for like oh he's going to see it my skirt like have the awareness that she clearly doesn't see you like this she playfully bites his thigh this lady doesn't want to date you sir well i mean at and but i mean i i can say that you can say all this i certainly remember back to the time of being this age and not yeah like you don't think like that you're just like i just need this this is the thing that works and i need more of this i never wrote a one of nine page manifesto about why it's a great idea to date me.

Well, that is true. It's, you know, young people they build up stuff in their head and you pine for something forever and you think that's... Fantasy life is easy to get, you just buy into. And I think that's the issue too, though. It's never in the movie kind of clarified like, this is what young men

do. They're silly. They need to grow out of this thing and just find... He doesn't have like healthy relationships or and also like his self, like who he is, is very unknown because like is he the guy that likes watching Party of Five and like being like goofy

and fun or is he this nightmare shark person that likes to love him and leave him and like has all these rules like is there a person in there no that worth knowing I think that's a question you can literally ask of every character Ryan Reynolds has ever played is there a person in there yeah I would argue most times there's not probably not I mean

there's like no offense to him as a guy I don't know him or anything but just characters he plays in this persona there's not a person behind those eyes no and when he's doing this man I even I had you know I had plenty of friends who were girls

back in the day who were just friends none of them actually my best friend in high school was a girl and I didn't have a fucking part of my wall dedicated to our friendship and my sketches of her the wish board that we have

here whatever's going on Isn't she coming over your house for sleepovers and shit, did you think? Well, that's weird. I mean, the whole movie, it's like he's really aggressive with this obsession. But the moral at the end is she was wrong. Yes, exactly. She was wrong this whole time, actually. You dumb girl.

Come on now. We do get the first of many gay slurs in the first like six minutes. This little kid, he's right. And I think he's singing, I swear at this point maybe. All for ones I swear, absolutely. You better like that song. There's a couple times. We paid for it.

We're going to use every note. This episode's brought you in part by Rocket Money. You know, most of us know we should take control of our finances, but it's hard to know where to start. Rocket Money gives you the clarity and confidence to take that first step, helping you cut wasteful spending and take meaningful action towards your financial goals. Wouldn't be amazing to save for something and have something? It'd be great to have something.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps finding, cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and it helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Yes, Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you might have forgotten about. Now, me, I forget about a bunch. I thought I had a sleepwalking problem. Turns out I have a sleep subscribing problem. Wake up in the middle of the night. I grab my phone off the nightstand and I start subscribing to things. And thankfully, Rocket Money shows me the error of my ways. Rocket Money's dashboard lays out your total financial picture, including bill due days and pay days,

in a way that's easy to digest. You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. If you've got a goal you'd like to save for, Rock Money can analyze your accounts and find the best time each month to put extra money aside. They'll even try to negotiate lower bills for you.

Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $800 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash WHM today. That's rocketmoney.com slash WHM. Remember, rocketmoney.com slash WHM, which stands for We Hate Movies.

There's a couple of jokes where you fucking better like it because that's it. That's what we got. That's all I got today. I should say as we start getting into this a little further, I'm, you know, I'm not made of stone. There were a few moments in this movie where I had quite hearty laughs. I had a couple legitimate laughs. I thought you're going to say you cried at the end. No, for once I wasn't fucking pathetically crying at a movie that I had no business crying at.

I hate the character, but Anna Ferris is really fucking funny in this. I thought she's really working a character. It's just as she has been plucked from a completely different movie. possibly one directed by a Farrelly brother. She is always pretty funny. Yeah, she's great. The little brother comes in. He's like, raise your hand if your brother's a homo.

And like, it's supposed you in the audience are supposed to laugh with the, it's not like, oh, that little kids being stupid. Can I can I ponder or throw out a guess here? They looked at the script. And when you watch

the movie now, yeah, there's a lot of homo, there's a lot of gay, a lot of that One or two F-bombs too. Here we go. Here we go. I would not be surprised if they had to go back and look and like every time in this movie you hear homo or you hear gay, it was the F-sler every single time. And then they were like, listen, man, you got like the F-sler like 15 times in this movie. This is reading like a manifesto.

Exactly. And it's like, oh, this one about Jared from Subway, let's turn that into the R word. That is, dude, incredible now. That was quite... I never knew people thought of Jern from Subway that way. I was going to say... It was an art word. My god, that was kind of just shocking

because of what's happening. I mean, that was completely destabilized. I watched it and I'm like, what? Yeah, so you gotta hand it to this movie for that. Because it's like... It's like being punched in the face by Mike Tyson twice in two seconds. Yeah. Because the slur happens, you get punched in the face

being like, oh, that. And then from Subway, and you realize they're talking about that And did you punch in the fucking other side of the head? I guess the idea is they knew at the time something was off. You know? And you're saying at the time. Like, so Jamie's father says, oh, hey, Chris, how'd you lose all that weight? Did you do it like that R word, Jared from Subway?

Good God. It's brutal. By the way, does anybody know, what's the date on when Jared from Subway went down? That's right 9, 10, maybe even 11. But later. We've, it was known by like, oh, seven, I think, in the company. But as the, at the time we're making this movie, the chicken hadn't come home to Roost yet. No, it had not.

No, I had not. I see. So he's going to go, uh, Jamie, and this kind of sucks for him. Jamie, is friends Jamie, am I right? Amy Smart's name is Jamie. Uh, Jamie has thrown a small party for them and their two other friends. Jeez, this is. And it's like, oh, cool.

And like, you can tell them they were probably like the outsider kids. We can go and, you know, just have some drinks. and he's going to tell her how he feels. He's got to pull her aside from this four-person party, which is a totally reasonable thing to do. But unfortunately, it turns into a can't-hardly wait scenario when he gets there. You would turn around immediately. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Jamie, sorry, I couldn't make it to the graduation party last night. Horrible diarrhea. I can tell you that because we're best friends. And clearly he is not just like the fat kid. He is the very unpopular fat kid. The kid that is being teased is my guess. But at the same time, I did find it interesting that when he gets to the party,

it's not a what's he doing here like at least it was everybody was fine like they do make fun of him later of course and there's like the tim the jock who really humiliates him but i was expecting another slur to be through who invited the you know or whatever yeah exactly that at least doesn't happen there are certain character actors when i say Jared update real quick oh nice apparently there was allegations of inappropriate relations with minors that began in 2007 but it didn't gain traction and he He didn't get arrested until 2015. Chris, you were totally right on that timeline. I'm going to give you. Credit where credits two timeline was. That's amazing. You nailed that right there's a, I'm sorry.

There's a very, very good episode of Truanon where they go through the whole fucking fucking sorted. So I had recently heard it. And like, but I, I was like, because I didn't know Subways existed until like 2009 or something. What the fuck are you talking about? You were alive. That's impossible. I just didn't.

Well, okay. Chris, I guarantee you. Have you seen a TV commercial? We definitely, like, you were aware of Subways in our town. We had Mr. Sub. That was the big thing at our. That was the one I went to. Mr. Sub was the loser local chain.

I know. I went to it. That's where the just friends, couples would go. You know what? Mr. Sub was eating pretty good at 2015, though, that's for sure. You know what? Nobody might buy our sandwiches, but at least I'm not a child rapist. Thank you very much.

Hey, come on down to Mr. Sub. Your kids are welcome here. They're quite safe. Oh, you're fat again. like that R word, Mr. Sub. I'm just saying it was like one in like the mall food court. Like I'm sure you were aware of some way. But I did not, okay, I did not know of it as like the great thing that everybody knows about that is like taking over the country quickly.

Maybe. But I'm just saying like in 2009 when you were out of college for four years, you were aware of somewhere. We were living with me near a subway. We'd already had the fight in Williamsburg over when they opened the summer. subway on Bedford Avenue. You were 100% aware of subway. Okay. Speaking of timelines. So there are certain character actors who I see

and I'm like, oh, this movie was made in Canada. Oh boy, is this maybe the big bully here, the dude with Oh, Tim, yeah, who's this guy? He's in Battleston. I was going to say Mechanic Number 3 on Battlestar. Kind of sort of like he's like one of the military dudes who like, he kind of keeps

popping up, but he's also the big fat security guard in X2 who Rebecca Remain Too much iron in your blood Yes, oh shit, really? That guy is just all over Canada I don't know. Hell yeah.

So there you go. That's awesome. The second I saw it was like, this wasn't New Jersey and sure enough, Saskatchewan. Well, Ryan Reynolds doesn't like traveling too far from home back in those ways. That's where you get those big old snow banks from.

Absolutely, yeah, he was a Vancouver guy. Yeah. So he gets there, like, this guy's got, everyone's kind of, he means, is it Clark and Darla or is the two like real friends and they're like a couple Clark who I kept thinking was some guy and he's just not

anybody. He's just not no. Nope. I like these these characters need to be part of the movie I think. They really do and not just like the multiple times Ryan Reynolds has to go to the dentist in this movie. Yeah. That's Clark's a dentist but he needs to be like if there's any

heart in the movie which there should be he should be the one like but you love her right man and he goes wow I do love her or whatever. Something like that. Oh well but that would take away from Ryan Reynolds time and we we need quite a lot of that but they're like yeah sorry her parents decided to throw her surprise party now everyone's here it sucks but they're like tonight's tonight right you're gonna tell her you got if you're his if you are his friend you got to be like dude probably don't tell her you know what I mean or probably or just like nope or make it easier

don't do the letter thing just talk to her you know why don't you just talk to her talk to her oh wayne's world reference I love it always doing it um yeah No, it's a bad idea. And I have to say, folks, if you're out there and you got some friend who's writing a big letter, there's got to be a better way to do it. And you have to tell your friend that immediately because this, it could be a life-altering embarrassment. Because they're cheering them on. Like, do it, dude.

Do it. Well, because you're fucking tired of hearing about it. Well, that could be true. Every time we go to the mall, every time we go to the library, he's just talking about it. This is Jamie's favorite book. It's okay. And that would actually be, it's like ripping the bandaid right off. Just tell her, get it over with it.

Exactly. And if she rejects you, you can move on with your fucking life. That's perfect. Who cares? Go have bad sex in college and figure it out. Exactly. So she immediately, like, sees him across the room and runs over and, like, runs upstairs, has him by the hand, like, oh, we got to go up to my room.

And I'm like, again, buddy. Yeah, the vibe. If this is how you're greeted. The vibes are off. Like, she's greeting you like one of the gals. She's not going to jerk you off in her parents' house. Like, it's just not going to happen. I'm sorry.

so she goes up there and it's like he's trying to do it and then like drunk tim walks in he's like oh you want to fuck me baby because also that is the thing here it's 10 years in the past these actors are already in their 30s yeah so you got this guy tim man i gotta say when you see him in present day and he's like a bald loser i was like not much of a makeup job on this guy they spent they got this fucking ball cap from the garbage yeah this thing was they fucking they were scorching it up they were rubbing it against the road they did everything to the make this thing look filthy and not real. He looks like Tom Cruise and fucking, uh, what's it there? Tropic Lundra. Yeah. Less Grossman. Uh, but yeah, he, he like, he's like, oh, it's fuck. And she's like, no, Tim.

And, like, she kicks him out. And then here comes, I'll tell you when your movie's got some problems. Chris Klein shows up. I had no knowledge that he was in this movie. And he's in a lot. I forgot completely. I saw this over the pandemic. And, uh, that was the first time I saw it.

And, uh, I completely. blacked out because I didn't remember you fell on the floor dude you didn't know it you woke up and it was like 40 minutes left in the movie my teeth were all on the floor gone and I had to go to Clark and it's just weird because like you know I don't have any ill

ill will against the guy but I literally was like that guy looks like Chris Klein and then I looked at the television again and just went oh man Chris Klein is Dusty Dingleman Oh yeah the dust man Dinkleman and you better you better like

this fake song Jamie Smiles because you're going to hear it 16 to 20 times. Well, which one are you going to hear more of the bad fake songs? Jamie Smiles are this abhorrent Anna Ferris one that she's singing. Great question. Where are you? He's trying to make his move. He's got like the

he's a guitar kid which is kind of funny in its own right. He can't even like play this song. It's terrible and Ryan Reynolds kicks him out of the room like go practice it and come back another. Like he's in this moment he is kind of Ryan Reynolds thing a little bit out of the Cartman character when he has to get like angry I guess

so he shoes him away and then it's like here we go oh you know read the note in the yearbook and she opens it and starts laughing then he realizes oh that's Tim's yearbook she's also at this point made him wear a t-shirt that she made him that's his best friends forever

oh right there's them as cats or something and it's just quite tight and again this is after she is twice now laughingly like rolled back and you see her cotton white panties under the and I'm like again dude she does not think of you as a sexual vessel

in any capacity no she's not even thinking about it as much as you are not able to get yourself out of this world where this is happening already and you just have to do it and then it will happen she is of the mind that you are just friends exactly she's in the reality she's just like this is my friend and I get

to fucking flip around and fucking show whatever to him and again like you don't know does he like the things that they say that they like right now or is he doing it as long? Yes, or is it the game, man? It's like, I'm going to like Party of Five and this, that, and the other thing, to try to get with her. That's the question.

Well, maybe that's the things you don't know any, you don't, there's no sincerity to his character, no authenticity, you don't know what any of this is. No, but so it would be an awesome thing if you saw him in L.A. You know, as an adult and he's just home alone one night and he's literally watching Party of Five. Because first of all, by the way, folks,

kids at home, look it up. It's real easy to like Party of Five. It's not that hard. I gave it a shot. Never saw it. Doesn't make you a gaywad. But maybe that's the good idea. Like he could be in L.A.

being into all the stuff they're into, but like secretly, he doesn't want people in L.A. or his circle knowing. It's like Jerry doesn't want the cop to know that he watches Melrose play. He still loves it. Exactly.

Yeah, you need something like that because you're right. But I would say it has to all be genuine because I don't think this kid's built with the game that would require him to concoct the whole. long game in the first place. No, no. You're not doing that if you're also having what we find out later Fudge Candy Mountain

every day. That's that game. Oh yeah, no, that's gross. But so he realizes, uh-oh, his yearbook got switched with Tim or whatever, and he runs out and Tim is regaling the party by reading the note. You're right, this is carry level.

It is. It's really humiliating. Like, this is not like, you know, whoops, pulled your pants, out of the hallway, you're humiliate. It's like, this is a, you poured your heart and soul out. This is not stuffing someone in a locker. Another way this movie could continue after this scene, about 10 years later, would require a lot of soft focus POV shots of these kids getting killed one by one. And you don't know who came back. Just give it like the most

graduation party. Yes, exactly. You'll never survive the yearbook. Yearbook massacre. Are you bringing the keg? you're bringing the killer. I like yearbook because then he can kill people that are going to go see the notebook, which is in this movie as well. Oh, I'll get to that.

The yearbook massacre. Keep in touch. Oh, dude, yeah. And you realize, like, so what is it? The killer is going through all the members of like a certain club, right? So you're looking at all the club pages. We're halfway there. Copyright, copyright, copyright.

He kills a girl in a bikini on a beach in the summer. Have a great summer. Yes. All the most likely to. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's what it is. All the kids that won them Laurels there or whatever you call them?

What are the most word for those things? I think that Laurel is the right word. That works. I think there's another word. Then at one point I knew, Steve, you knew because you said it another time when we were talking about these. I was really hoping you were...

It's a large database. So anyway, he runs out and... First of all, anyone noticed Wilson Fisk in this party? Like, it's all these high school kids that are older. There's this big ball... He's built like a...

fuck he's in a letterman jacket he's bald as the day is long like Q balled I'm like Wilson Fisk well there's a couple of dudes when he runs into like he goes into the party at the start of the scene and he runs into a couple dudes from the football team these guys

look like they should be at fucking old timers night at MetLife Stadium I mean if these are football players my God have a great summer it's Hill's Kitchen see you around Hell's Kitchen summer as freaking geeks taught us you know, older guys, there are just a suck

to them that will show up to your party. And they're going to take your beer and try to have sex with a 16 year old. Totally fine, Megan Kelly. You know, that guy served in Congress in Florida? Oh, really? It's crazy. Wow.

So he runs out humiliated. Tim has a good, goodbye, fatty, which is mean, but I kind of laugh. Sorry, I'm sorry. There's a couple of like ADRs, like someone watching this. And it didn't seem like, they need more fat jokes. He's like, what are you going to go cry now?

Like, just people from wherever. Yeah, he's just catching strays. All he's trying to do is get out the front door. He's catching strays left and right. She runs after him. And this is embarrassing because she has, I guess, read the note, maybe skimmed it. Maybe read it a little too fast. Didn't get the real meat of the message here because she runs out and she's like, is this true?

And he's like, ah, ma'am, cheesy pig. You can't say anything. And then she's like, she's like, she's. like, oh, well, I love you too. And he goes to kiss her and she kisses him on the cheek like a brother. And like, it doesn't even appear as if she's trying to diffuse the note in so much as she's read it wrong. And it's like, oh, I love you too. What a sweet note.

We're going to have a great summer or whatever. And they just, this is, man, everybody at this party comes outside on the stoop and is just chanting at him, yelling at whatever. And he's getting on his bike and he's like, oh, fucking Ryan Reynolds, you're going to ruin the day you fucking learn my name. jerks, I'll show you, I'll show all of you, this town is full of losers, I'm going to be somebody. And then the weirdest turn for the movie happens. What's that? It goes to present day, which is like, I can't believe this is set in 2025. Yeah, it's crazy. I can't believe you keep getting fooled by that when it happens in movies. I don't, I, if you go, if you start your movie with 1995 and go to present day, I just don't like present day. No, right. I, they said 10 years

Just cement it. Just do 10 years later. That's the move. There you go. A ding-dong decade later. But then you don't have any rules you have to follow. You don't have to actually do anything. Like there's no, oh, this was this year.

You have to know that this was popular at the time. Or like people were doing this. They were buying these kinds of houses. Any kind of little detail that would give you something. Exactly. But like, that's my point is that if present day is to allow you to do whatever the fuck you like. Oh, so I see. So what you're saying is what should have happened was to see Ryan Reynolds,

he wakes up at the morning and goes on on his balcony. He's looking over the, the Hollywood Hills, and he stretches, gives a yawn, and goes, oh, so the Iraq war started yesterday. Just to position us, you're saying? You planted it right out of my head. That's exactly what I wanted to do. He's at a holiday party. This movie is barely a holiday movie. I was just going to say, it's a heartwarming Christmas movie.

Take that H word out of there. This is a warming Christmas movie? This is how hardcore this movie doesn't give a fuck that it's a Christmas movie, though, because it has the holiday Christmas party, and no one even acknowledges that it's a company Christmas party. Hey folks, today's episode on Just Friends is brought to you in part by Sonos. You know, this holiday season, give the gift of Sonos sound. Surprise that music lover in your life, upgrade a loved one's home theater, or maybe engage in a little to me from me, treat yourself gift-giving.

Any way you gift it, Sonos is going to make the holiday season shine and sound better for you and your loved ones. The holidays are about creating memories to last a lifetime, And one of my favorite holiday traditions is gathering loved ones together around the big TV to watch our lineup of classic holiday specials and Christmas movies. And thanks to Sonos and their Arc Ultra Soundbar, this annual viewing tradition is really going to pop this year. That's right. My relatives won't even argue about whether a certain high-rise set action film is or is not a Christmas movie because they're going to be too wrapped up in the incredible Sonic experience watching the film.

And another added perk is that all Sonos devices look as good as they sound. so you won't have some heinous monstrosity sitting in your living room. These devices are ridiculously well-designed and sleek as all get out. What studio quality sound at home? Explore Sonos, speakers, soundbars, and more at Sonos.com and discover how easy it is to build your own whole home audio system. Discover how easy it is to bring every room to life with incredible sound. Explore Sonos, speakers, soundbars, and more at Sonos.com.

The whole thing is the whole thing. is Ryan Reynolds. Everything else does not matter. Because, like, to go Eric was talking about earlier, we get here and you would think you've conquered, you're at this record company that's doing very well. Your boss is fucking Stephen Root. I would kill for that.

Yeah, revenge is a life well lived. Yeah, yeah, that's all. But like, of course, he's like, he's a victim because Stephen Roots makes me get a lobster and he's fucking mean to me like no other boss ever has been. God damn it. Well, he is trying to make him like

signed this big artist a few days before Christmas. This seems like a fool's air in Stephen Rout. Does these pants make me look fat? That's a good line. It's like leather pants. Yeah, it's like Stephen Rood leather pants. I'd lose that bad. It's supposed to be like this swarmy record producer who vanishes out of the movie pretty much. Just right out of it. He has to call him once

to be like, hey, just remember if you don't end this movie the way I want you to, you're fired. So he's like the president of like red bulb records or something who now wants to sign Anna Ferris. for her new album, because she's on... Extra, dude. Extra.

Oh, fuck. Extra, extra. Oh, that takes me back. By the way, again, showing you that this movie does not care at all that it's a Christmas movie, if this were a shitty Lifetime or Hallmark kind of Christmas movie, red bulb records means all they produce is Christmas. That's a good movie thing. And then you're convincing her to do a novelty Christmas album.

Yep, exactly. And then, you know, that could be some tension there because there's no real tension with them either. Like, I know she's all over him and he doesn't want it. It's also bizarre because she's producing an album at the time. It's very... For some record. For someone, yes. Yeah, and I guess so, like, I almost call them

Jimmy James. Stephen Root, his character on his radio was Jimmy James. Stephen Root's character, yeah, wants to, I guess, poach is the idea. Well, that's the weird... Okay, because Ryan Reynolds gets this assignment, uh, and of course Steven Roots mess with his assistant and be like, fuck you, I hate you. Yeah. And then

Ryan Reynolds goes to where they're recording this album. And the guys behind, like, doing all the tech stuff, and there's one line that I was not crazy about. That was one that I was like, oh, baby, it is 2005. That was tough.

But like, the Asian slur at the dude. She called the Asian producer Kung Kung Fu-y. Yes, now I remember. Beloved cartoon character. Not to be rude, but the dude doesn't even have a line. If you're going to slur

someone, he needs to at least have a lie. He just, like, cocks his eyebrow, like, that's pretty bad, right, guys? But what you, to what we were talking about, it's, they are like, whatever, I, like, they must like give up the contract just right there when they're like, we give up.

They must be totally fine with that, though, because she does sound like quite the monster to work with here. We learned that, like, she had a fling with Ryan Reynolds at some point, and, or they just had one date or something, and he wound up in the hospital, so you know she's capital C crazy. And she's, but like,

The other thing is, like, the way Stephen Root makes out, it's like, she is a multi-billion, like this is, this will bring in so much fucking money because she has the sexy poster. That's the thing. That's the, the pin in all of this is that there's a sexy poster with her doing basically the fucking Allie Larder varsity blues,

whipped cream teats with the cherries his nipples, but then also has a chocolate covered hot banana that she's about to put in her mouth. And I think he's, But he thinks the, this is in 2005, this successful, we're told, businessman thinks a poster is going to take off so much that it would be this huge record. Before Twitter, guys, posters were king at that point. And there were several. In the land without Twitter, posters are key. And as we see when we see the brother's room, there's many posters.

It's not just the one. She's been. But like then the extra thing also suggests, like, she's been around forever and she's been making hits. I'm like, I don't get any of this. is she a musician or is she like a Paris Hilton fake person that's like I made an album. Maybe a little bit of both. They do say, she says a couple times like my

dad, my dad, like she's rich. They're also like slapping rich girl in there somewhere. Right. And one of her pursuits was like spreading vegetarianism in third world countries. We see that real quick on the extra. It's more or less that get him to the Greek scene. Yes,

it's a vessel for a bad joke or whatever. But it's also to show like how dumb. They would Never be vegetative. Like, how naive. Yeah. How dumb. Yeah.

This girl's dumb. She is dumb. She's dumb blonde, as they say. Anna Farris is fun in this movie. I do think everyone goes over. Maybe it's because when I was, when people were trying to tell it, Anna Farris is fucking amazing. And I'm waiting for, I don't know what.

And it's like, that's, it's funny. It's just not a very funny movie. It's the problem. Sure. She is funny. And I get that. And I think she's a very funny actress. The movie is not very funny.

the wildest of performances in this movie they're at like a seven and she's at like a 12 like it's a completely different movie like she just everything is extreme like when she sees Ryan Reynolds like in the studio or whatever

when they get together she's like there's a lot of like comedic tongue kissing in this movie she's licking faces biting his lip and he's like oh man I hate this oh this is terrible oh man we're gonna have really good sex I'm gonna hate all of it

She's got this line, God, I want to lick your skin off. And she's, like, getting ready to fuck. Like, you see, like, all over the place she is. She's pulling his pants down to, like, suck his dick in this recording studio. And then she's like, oh, wait, do you want to hear my song? And this was one of the moments that I got a legitimate laugh. She's out this guitar. She's singing some thing very poorly.

Forgiveness is the big song. Yes, forgiveness. I couldn't think of the one word title here. And, like, he's there. And he's got his pants like around his knees. And I don't know if this is an accident or they were able to time it with, you know, clothing effects or whatever but as soon as she starts saying the pants fall all the way to his ankles god damn that was funny because he's just staring at her and they just fall down very

funny she wants to spend christmas in paris yes so do i jesus and the idea is he's going to go with her and that's going to be great because his whole thing yes you have to like get her to sign to the label by it should be by christmas eve yeah let's put a holiday clock on it exactly some kind yeah so the they did this chartered fly they go on and apparently she puts what is it, aluminum foil in the microwave and that's why they have to emergency land in New Jersey

which happens to be where Chris is from. Now the thing with the microwaveing the foil like that's obviously dumb but you know what else is dumb she's microwaving Ahi tuna. Yeah it's a bad idea. In a plane like foil or no you can't be stinking up the cabin like that. Well if it's just you

and you're trying and this person you're trying to torture all the time maybe i'd be worried the scent would knock out the pilot we'd crash yeah maybe yes but emergency landing in new jersey and boy oh boy get your fucking this movie stuck in amber out yeah she thinks it's a gag here and she goes oh am i being punked where's ashton oh those like airport and all these the flight group people are like jesus ask your grandparents who ashton is by ashen kutcher you understand i ran a program called punked and you would run around and uh beguile like Tofra Grace and Tofra Grace.

It was a turn of the century. After 2001, when those towers went down. One man started making a prank show where he kind of mostly just prank people he co-starred with on that 70s show. But there were some other people around as well. Including his best friend, Danny Masterson, who was a real cool guy.

And I understand, most people didn't even seek out this program. They were just killing time until Pip My Rye. man sometimes that's what happens when you're a lead-in to a better show now you understand pink my ride was a television program wherein if you told somebody you liked the ninja turtles they would ruin your car by making it look like a ninja turtle fan now have you ever heard of the word exhibit you take the e and the h out of that sucker and you got the host of hit my ride of course then after that you'd want to stick around for room raiders where a girl or guy would go into your room with a camera and they would

comment on your stuff and perhaps they would date you or something. I kind of forget how that one went. There was also cribs, you understand. That's when you saw celebrities' homes. But sometimes they couldn't get a big enough celebrity, you see. So sometimes it would just be a middle of the road musician who played

guitar and a band. And in those episodes, he mostly just showed you the DVDs he owned. You saw both guitars from some 41 houses. And to be clear, this is before Twitter. So that's how mom and dad got along at the time. Yeah, mom and dad met looking at a poster, warm their hearts. You go to the Sam Goody, you look at a poster, saying, hey, those are two girls kissing.

How about that? And then every day at 4 p.m., we all gather around the warmth of the box, and our Lord and Savior, Carson Daly, would tell us which music videos you called in and wanted played the most. They then would broadcast those videos live, you see. It was like a total request live. You'd say, praise the Lord, we have T.R.N. I know what the terrorist didn't win. We still have T.R.A. Where would corn be without?

Great question, honestly. It's huge. Here's something about the movie, Just Friends, which we talked about 20 minutes ago. Oh, sure. So then there's a movie for a lot. Just Friends. Just get a hotel. Like, you get stranded in wherever the fuck, New Jersey.

You're still rich. You're still rich. You're ghosting your family for Christmas. Christmas anyway, Ryan Reynolds. You know what I mean? And they go to some weird lengths to make it, like, this is the first time he's been back, like, because Julie Haggerty, the great Julie Haggerty. Julie dropped from the

movie Haggerty. Julie made me laugh twice in this movie Haggerty, which is a real fucking Herculean feat. Yep. Says like, oh no, he would only, he only sent us from to Los Angeles. He flies the family out, yeah. Which is like, that doesn't make it. Look, there's this weird idea about

like going away to college in quotation marks. where it's like 1908 where you just take a boat you go away to college you're back for the fucking summer you're back for Christmas you're back all the time like you're still living at home

I guess maybe he got off campus housing because did he go to school in California and just stayed out there you don't get to know it because nothing's contextual that would make a character and you don't want any of that you just want jokes you want a line delivery system he went to college you see he became Van Wilder

seven years well I heard that guy's a cut up Oh, absolutely, dude. You know, one time I heard Van Wilder, he made a campus enemy eat dog semen out of an eclair. Wow. Is that right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, baby. What the fuck?

They got a bulldog, you see, with a huge balls. Is it Tech's bulldog or his bulldog? I think it's his bulldog, but tech from real world Hawaii, I believe, was having a bit of an acting career. Thanks in part to MTV and TRL, I believe. And so he's in the movie and he's like, you know what, I will be. the semen technician for this will jerk off your dog and then take the semen and fill in Eclayers and then give it to

the rival squad or whatever. Sounds a lot like bestiality to me, Tech. Back in the day after your mom and pa would like to gaze at a poster they'd like to take in a film per chance usually one where someone has to eat dog's seamen.

And then of course they would get the idea. Why don't we get our enemy some dog semen of clairs? And they would go, a dog and jerk it off. So yes, your mom and dad probably jerked off a dog and fed the seaman to someone. I will

say, I was... TRL. I lost a bet to myself because I'd never seen this movie before in full. I would have bet at some point in the movie Ryan Reynolds fought a tiny animal a la something about Mary, allah saving Silverman, the

style at the time. It was very popular and honestly that might have been an added flavor I could have used in this. Yeah, if he was like taking out the trash one night and a fucking raccoon jumped out at him and he fought it. Yep, that's exactly. But you just get a fucking hotel, dude. Like, you're ghosting your family for the holidays. You have this

nightmare person you have to babysit. Yep. Just stay at a hotel and go to New York City. Yes, it's right there. It is right there, dude. Yeah, because the pilot is like, oh, we're only like an hour outside of Trenton or something. Like, you can make it up to the city in like 90 minutes. It's fine.

And they're acting like fucking, he comes from modest means. Have you, did you see this house? This house is humongous. Pretty nice house. And of course it's the terrifying, the room is just as you left it 10 years ago including your fucking weird stalker board that he goes up to. And he's looking at

and it's all this like, Chris and Jamie friends forever. And then he starts like taking down all the pictures of him fat and just still, still leaving her photos up. Did he leave for college that night? Like what? Like he didn't go upstairs and be like, you know what I'm sorry to this board? Exactly. It doesn't

look like he moved at all. I don't care if you married her by now. Don't have photos of a 16 year old girl on your wall. That's weird. Not great. There is a good gag here though where he's looking at one photo and it appears to be folded and it's like her and it looks like she's like

sort of leaning on him kind of and he unfolds it and so there's a football player in the middle of them and he has a good reaction of like yeah or whatever and sort of refolds it back up. He has a little brother here the one that called him a homo earlier the third from the girl

next door, it's Paul Dano Emil Hirsch in this guy and this guy dude, you can see the writing on the wall with this hairline for this guy, poor bastard, oh shit. He's in Barry for a little bit as well. Oh, really? Yeah, the first he's the guy, right? I think he's the guy that he kill

his friend that he has to either kill or some. Oh, you're right. Yeah, you're a second barrier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. Oh, that's cool. Well, good for him. I, and I also remember him from the, the disastrous fanboys. Oh, right. That's right. That's right. He is one of the He's a funny enough presence in this movie. Like, it's okay, yeah.

He gets the most slurs, which makes him unfunny. Oh, Andrew, he was in Reacher as Jacob Merrick for eight episodes. Oh, this is the upcoming season. Oh, a little Hollywood news, extra, extra. Mario! It's just 2016. Oh, I'm so excited. No, but yeah, he's like, he has fun, like, little brother chemistry with Ryan

Reynolds when it is able to be fun. Yeah, and I do like that the brother fighting that they have here is like kind of it's like extreme three stooges fighting. Yes. Like he's actually, there's one point where he, the kid goes to drive off the actor's name is Chris Marquette. He goes to drive off with Anna Farras at one point and he

fucking jabs Ryan Reynolds in the eyeball with his finger like really hard and all the fighting that they do and like it's actually Ryan Reynolds like jumping on this guy a lot of the time like clearly it was all like thought out hopefully and Ryan Reynolds wasn't surprising this dude with fucking power bombs or whatever

But it's funny, you know It's a funny little brother stuff It's a fine joke to plays for most of the movies Now I forget Did you carry do physical comments Occasionally? Really? Weird thing is he says here

Like because the kid realizes like Oh you got Anna Ferris with you Whatever he says that he was Smacking the ham to a photo of her Not an hour prior Julie Haggerty What ham did you slam? I would be asking the same question

Because I've never This one I have never heard. I've never heard slapping the ham. Nor does any ham I've ever seen have come in the shape of a penis. No. Or balls, for that matter. But I have been in the kitchen and just like, you know, slap to ham one. Sure.

Just like, ham's done. Just to give it a good slap. But you're not jerking off. No. To get her Anna Ferris away from his horrible family, he goes to a bar. This is where he runs into Clark and Darla. It's like, oh, cool, my old friends. And like, Anna Ferris is fucking terrible.

Really terrible to them. although it's this she has she's like because her whole thing is yes she's like rich or whatever so she goes yes it's me yeah okay it is funny because nobody gives a shit she's like hiding which is very funny and then she's like your names are Clark and Darla

oh that's so cute or whatever and then she's like got to go to the bathroom or something and has this really hilarious like just kisses Darla passionately on the mouth yes but then here's another this movie is just comfortably resting in

where Tim the jock comes up looking like fucking Will Sassau with this bald cap on and he's of course a total loser that's what we do to Townie archetype characters like this guy and he goes to Reynolds' character named Chris he goes Chris I saw you sit at the Grammys next to pee did he

I'm like you're watching the Grammys like you're watching the Grammys enough that you're like oh that's my friend well maybe it was the year that I love this bar was fucking nominated Oh got it yeah I got to represent alien ant farms. But yeah, it's like, oh, wow, you're sexy and you're slim and you're very successful. Congratulations.

Right. He's got a power boner during this time. Oh, big. Crushing all of his enemies. And that's all. What more do you need? Exactly. You were hanging out, you hang out with P. Diddy.

Yeah. You got the invite to the fucking freakoffs, dude. Come on. Absolutely. Go to a ditty party. I would love for that, like, the character has to live through, like, the P. Diddy thing is like, like, there wasn't. that much baby oil.

Everybody's blown this way out of proportion. It wasn't that much oil. Today's episode is brought to you by Uncommon Goods. I hope you enjoyed your turkey because we are now in that weird post- Thanksgiving liminal space where it's all holiday shopping all of the time. And the last thing you want to do is get someone some generic gift that likely they already have. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high-quality funds you won't see anywhere else.

Don't wait because the most meaningful gifts get scooped up fast and now's the perfect time to cross some names off of your list. I have four nephews and this year a new niece. Welcome to the family, by the way, and one of the joys of being a lifelong uncle, on top of being able to go home and get a good night's sleep, not deal with the medical bills, be generally irresponsible and live like you're 26 for the rest of your life, is getting my lovely niece and nephews awesome unique presence that their parents would never even think of.

And to the surprise of no one, I've been successfully fostering a real nerd streak in all these kids, and there's so much cool stuff on Uncommon Goods to guarantee that they have great imaginations at our picked last in gym class. Such as the Create Your Own Comic Book Kit, Hero Slam Beginners role-playing game, and the DIY solar-powered robot kit. Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high-quality, unique, and often handmade, or made in the U.S. Many are crafted by independent artists and small businesses, making each gift feel meaningful and truly one-of-a-kind. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone, from moms and dads to kids and teens, from book lovers, history buffs and diehard football fans to foodies, mixologists, and avid gardeners, you'll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else. And with every new purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give $1 back to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date.

So don't wait. Cross those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to Uncommon Goods. com slash w hm that's uncommon goods.com slash w hm for 15% off uncommon goods we're all out of the ordinary uh he spies jamie is working at the bar and they have this little it's kind of awkward meeting here but again this is just the word she's like oh i can put my arms around you now it's like oh thanks a lot Well, because, and this is the thing to the problem, like, it's almost too many problems. Like, is, because there's a way this movie works where he's a big successful so-and-so. He has to go home and, oh, he meets the sexy girl that he used to be friends with.

And the obstacles, how do I get her to win me? But then this whole Anna Farris thing, to your point, is another movie entirely. It's like, I have to keep Anna Farris away from her. Right. And I'm like, who, it's just, it's too much going on. Which, and it's also a weird thing where it's like, it's all based, like, his relationship with Anna Farris is, because he has this, like, professional obligation. But as far as she sees,

what she thinks it is, that's all based on a total misinterpretation. Like, she thinks that they're together. So it's one thing if it was the movie where, like, he comes to town and, like, indeed, this is my shitty girlfriend that I'm with. And that kind of sucks. But it's just this work obligation,

but she thinks it's a couple thing. And never, he's never, unless I miss something, he's never like, look, I am not with this woman. This is a work thing. I'm stuck with her because of work-related reasons. Does he even tell Anna Farris about this record offer? Is that, or is he just deceiving another woman here? I think it's the second one maybe.

Yeah, he's pretending to be on a relationship with her. And then, like, he'll give her the big contract at some point. Yeah, what she says to him in the record studio is like, oh, are you just here because you're trying to sign me to your label now? Or do you want to get back together? Yeah, okay, I got it. Yeah. but it's Anna Ferris makes it impossible

for them to connect so he's like you know actually maybe I'll stay tomorrow can I take you out to lunch or whatever or something right well she wants to go to lunch and his whole thing that he tells some other guy yeah his like hockey buddy at the beginning of the movie I thought this was like a hitch situation

for a second because he's given this other guy like lady advice and one of the things is don't do a lunch date because day dates don't lead to anything you know genital related So why bother kind of deal? Okay, why bother them? Why bother?

I don't get to say this often. Boy, I wish I was watching Hitch. I was flying back from Vegas and I watched someone watch Hitch in the row in front of me. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. It was kind of the perfect way for me to watch Hitch, though. I would suggest that for everybody.

I like that because the fat's real. Yeah, exactly. Earned fat. Yeah, I don't want fake fat. The thing, though, about the fat suit, and I said at the front is the sort of opening remark. I thought the fat suit would get more. play just because like it's the poster it was all over the trailer I expected this movie

to have flashbacks to them in high school various moments I mean you fucking rented this fat suit from the friends lot like you get your money's worth here also I was that might make it worse or maybe better I don't know which way but also I was surprised I have to say and not

that it's by any great shakes or anything like that but I thought because in the trailer for what I remembered which was mainly the poster and then him singing at the end which is really just like torso up. I was genuinely surprised it wasn't more of a fat bastard like blowout

suit. It's just kind of heavy. That's the thing that he's just like got a gut on him. No, no. Dodgeball already did that. Yeah. And we're copying dodgeball a lot anyway, but like this, that's what the gut is out like this. Because he kind of just looks like the son from Dr. Katz. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like

a tall dude with a belly. Yes. That's true. Like it isn't even the fat thing. Like he has more fat in his face than his belly. it's crazy. Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder Tom Cruise was a bigger bigger fat suit than this guy. Anyway. So they're going to meet and then this is when he's like, all right, I'm going to have

my weird pervert brother take her to the mall. Is that it? Yeah, you take her to the mall. I need you to detain Samantha, he says. And basically he's like, okay, you do that and he's like pretending to be her manager. He's like, oh no, you need to go and see where the people are and something, something.

So you can get inspired, you know, You need to be with the people, your people or the people, you know, go be amongst the people to be inspired. And you have to do this by yourself. Not with me. You have to do, you and this pervert will do it. You and this pervert. My brother, sorry. The little pervert here will do it and maybe kill you.

So we go to Jamie's house for the lunch date here. And yeah, the dad's like, ha, ha, Mr. Valentine's Day. Look at you. Big fat loser. How you doing? How'd you lose that weight? Like that R word from Subway? that's where this line is

but like this dude cannot escape this shit man and I'm like it pains me that this movie puts me on the side of this character but they go to this diner and this old sack of shit greasy spoon waitresses like here's your big chocolate covered pancakes you fat shit. Sugar Mountain Supreme you nailed it because it's this fucking feeling

that like guys like this are all over the place where they're like everything that's happened to me has been like planned like the world has been against me and like you are forcing me to fucking side with him and I fucking hate like I hate those guys and like that shit

for me to force it I'm like no no he sucks he fucking sucks the lady who gave him the fucking pancakes yes this was a stupid thing to do but she's probably a better person on all of their fronts

you should be calling people chubby monkey or whatever generally yeah chubby bunny okay that's what I'm saying it's just like yeah first of all

congratulations you senile old bag you remember me from 10 years ago awesome but like don't point out stuff like that to people and then like clearly yeah like he's gone through something have the awareness that he's not going to want

your hot fudge Sunday. After 10 years you're like oh let me get the usual not even going to take your order just bring you the food. The usual fuck you yeah I didn't ask for this and this is Monica fat suit friends bullshit of like if you're an overweight person in a comedy in a fat

suit you don't just like eat food and like it just doesn't you know metastasize you know whatever metabolize is the right word It's like, I need a mountain of pancakes with ice cream and chocolate. Inhuman food. We want food. Tommy want wingy.

Look, every time on Friends, like, oh, remember Monica when you ate not just the birthday cake, but the table it was on? And I will say that fat suit is more of the fat bastard blowout. Like, she's shaped like fucking grimace on that show. It's awful. Well, yeah, it's all fucking man versus food food. Yeah. That's all he's eating. That's all that's allowed.

you're in a comedy and you're an actor in a fat suit, they will have you doing nothing but competitive eating size dishes. But you don't even get the competition or the TV show. You don't get the thrill of the competition. So he's acting like an asshole here. He's name dropping like, oh yeah, I was sitting with Pink and Good Charlotte.

Good, he's named drops. It's amazing. And then like the brother calls him from the mall and he's an asshole here too. He's like, oh, sorry, it's the coast. I have to take... Dude, if anyone anyone was like, I have to take a call. It's the coast. When they go to take that call,

I will silently get up from the restaurant and leave. Guess where you are right now, motherfucker? A coast. Yeah, you're a fucking Jersey, dude. You're the Atlantic's right next to you. Oh, man. Ladies and gentlemen, now, good Charlotte is, if you left, just to remind you, you ask your parents about good Charlotte. It's like if you put Blink 182

in the toilet, you understand. You'd scoop it out and you'd get Good Charlotte. The thing, there was brothers in that band, they were twin brothers, so half that band looks exactly the same. Have you ever heard of Cameron Diaz? Her husband. Try to figure this out. Cameron Diaz has been married to one of the guys, I think Joe, gets good charted for a very long time. Quite some time. That's insane. I didn't know that. It's crazy. Which makes me, here's what I think that means, though.

This is why she always friend zoned me. Of course. Yes. Finally. Now it all makes sense. I look at the idea of you and Cameron Diaz going to the theater together. And you're like, is this a date? Cameron Diaz. Well, we used to get pancakes. You should have, I don't think you should have, you definitely just shouldn't have put that note at the end of the mask comic book that you came out. I just don't think that was a good idea.

I think that that could mean that Cameron Diaz is pretty cool. Yeah. If you're just married to Joel from Good Charlotte, maybe you're pretty cool. I mean, Cameron Diaz has always seemed pretty cool. I mean, I know. I love the counselor, so I'm all for Cameron Diaz fucking cars and doing the cool stuff.

No, like Cameron Diaz. I love her. I wish that that I feel in a way like her and Jamie Fox innocent in that bad Netflix action movie because I think they actually

had pretty good chemistry and it was cool to see her back in like a big movie like that it just wasn't very good The Netflix action action I think she stopped working because she wanted to stop working for a bit was kind of the idea

Yeah I think we're maybe Raising her family with Joel from Good Charlotte Now I'm going to have that name wrong by the way Is it Benji? Wasn't there a Benji? It's Joel and Benji Maddener the two guys

I don't know She's married to one of them. I'm shocked. You guys know their names. One of them is very fond of fedoras, and I don't know which one it is. Oh, yeah, you're in good Charlotte. You almost have to be.

So whatever, like, yeah. It goes poorly. Yeah, it goes poorly. The brother calls, this is the weird, he accidentally tazes Anna Farris, and unlike the film Clueless, where Britney Murphy is about to fall to her death in that mall,

and she's saved by Breck and Meyer, I believe. No, it's the other little guy. The one that winds up being gay, whatever that guy. Oh, that's the guy who said. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right. Because then he chastises everybody, you're right. Instead of that, though, Anna Farris just falls off this thing while being tased and the dude is actually great. What the fuck? He's got some line here. Good save. It was Benji. Oh, was it? It's Benjian. There we go. See, it's not Joel or Joe, whatever's name. The other one. Benjie Madden is who Cameron Diaz is married to. And he's still in the band Good Charlotte.

That I know for sure. The kid has some line, though, that's like she falls off and he's like, like, is she doing all right? What's going on? He's like, oh, yeah, she's fine. I got to go. Or, like, whatever it is. This kid does have some good timing here. But, like, this woman should be dead. And this is where I was like, oh, this movie's operating on like a little bit of an unrealistic wavelength here. Like, if she can, she should have plummeted to her death. And instead, the movie's just like, oh, she's like concussed or something.

More than, I mean, they take this lady on a ride. Like, she's, they've got her in this get up, like a drooling fucking toothpaste. Oh, it's disgusting. Her brain has been dented And like then what Like a day later she's fine I don't know about that She's loaded up on Vicodin

Did she even go to the hospital? Is there a concussion? Well that's the thing because he said The brother says that he gave her The mother's Viking Yeah exactly so I think she just He just took her home Yeah you're gonna

There's a fucking brain bleed by New Year's Dude I'll tell you right now Your Popstar is dead But this is where he So he drops Amy Smart back off The date did not go well this is where he's definitely gym carrying out like stupid stupid stupid stupid and this is kind of funny

she comes up to the window and he's funny and then like he rolls it down and she's like uh left my gloves on the seat kind of a good gag right now did you uh yeah exactly um so the dentist you know he's at the dentist and the dentist is like he brings up the friends something he's like you know what man

sounds like you're right back in the friend zone he's like dude stop helping No, you just move on. Hey, man, hasn't it been 10 years? Shouldn't you be like doing literally anything else? Yeah, exactly. Who cares? Have you grown as a person even a little bit?

No, I have. No, and that's a good thing. You need to kill bill alarms when the Fred zone is brought up. Because it really is a trigger to him. I guess this is sort of not, it's not, you're not fighting a little animal, but you are fighting little kids, which was also the style at the time. This elongated hockey sequence. And we all loved. Fighting little kids.

Now, you've got to turn the clock back. Turn of the century and you like to get your aggression out on the children. You know the giants of the famous New York franchise, well, how if they're little? And Rick Moranis and Al Bundy slugged each other over it. Could you imagine tackling a little giant? And you know what, I mean, who knows, at the time, maybe I would have thought this was funny.

but I it doesn't really play now. It's very flat. It's kind of annoying. I guess they're like going to go on an ice skating date because now he was too fat to ice skate before but now he's good at ice skating specifically. I don't know if it was a fat thing. I think it was just like he was bad at it. But then he got good at it and like he's been psychotic about this girl for so long

that he's been training for this day and he's pissed at Julie Haggerty's mother for getting rid of his ice skates. Oh, right. It's like, oh, I gave that away years ago. Well, you never really used them and you've been gone. You never come home. But yet everything else is untouched and a shrine. The room is one thing, dude.

The garage though, we're throwing stuff out. And like, since it's not his skates, he's bad at ice skating. Yeah, because we're blaming the rental skates, which like he's acted like these things haven't even been sharpened. And I'm sure they would have been sharpened a little bit, man. You're not falling down like this. Good skater could skate in anything. No, but again, it's the fucking world's against. him. So the fucking, he has to get the worst

roller skates, or not roller skates, the ice skates out there. And like, it's just all on him every time. Don't want to miss a good Julie Haggerty gag here. So when he calls... Oh, this made me laugh. When he calls Jamie to invite her to go ice skating

and he like apologizes for how shitty the date went or whatever, Julie Haggerty picks up the phone and just starts dialing. And then puts the phone up to her ear and she thinks it's like she's calling her friend or whatever. And then Ryan Reynolds is like mom and she's like oh what are you doing over at lois's house and he's like mom i'm home i'm 10 feet away from you it was joyce's yeah and then later on there's they do reprise it a few times right

they get 120 he checks his messages and it's like hi joy that's a great call that's a good one because it's all like anna ferris calling him and they're like uh she calls first like apologetically and then with each voicemail she gets angrier and then the last one is joys he's the best dude but yeah so the yeah all the hockey goes poorly wouldn't you know it he this is you know what this is

this is where we're going from we're doing a gym carry thing to we're definitely just stealing from Ben Stiller yes yes this is a Ben Stiller I'm slow mo gonna do a thing and then I accidentally physically hurt myself instead

sure this is it he tries to do a slap shot he hits the fucking crossbar it comes back in the puck gets him in the face and then he gets Homer Sipson into cany. Yes. Yes. There is a line that made me a laugh when he's talking to one of the the father who's like the coach in this thing

or whatever. He says to one of those kids who were criticizing his skating as these damn rental skates and he's like, the father comes up, he's like, do you not curse in front of the children? Yeah, the dad who's like this weiner coach guy is pretty great. But then he gets called a pussy by a girl

that's playing hockey, which is pretty funny. But yeah, the slap shot thing happens he breaks his teeth here comes Chris Klein here he's back he's handsome I can't not think it's the whoever leaked this I know where we're going it's the fucking Chris Klein

audition tape from Mamma Mia man I thought about it too and it's the work because the singing is bad but it's the beginning of him like running the room for a couple of minutes where he comes in he's like did you have Mandy Moore out there oh my God you I did a little movie with her American Dreams

it is incredible she is a dream boat she is fantastic what he is just like smoozing it is so cringy to watch it you doing it was giving me goosebumps i mean it's awful and it's i mean like he must have pissed somebody off real bad exactly i mean like it is just it's not apology towards the right it sounds like he's just really like really phonally ingratiating himself yes exactly trying to really oh it's so great i love doing everything i'm amenable to whatever man it's fucking the d word it's always the dude were desperate. He's desperate as hell. Like the whole fucking moment he walks in

and he's just like, please like me. Please fucking like me. Free vacation to Greece. Which is also like, that's what I imagine a lot of actors, professional otherwise, are in that position, but those tapes don't get leaked. And that's all I'm going to say. Yeah, it's, it's real. It was Biggs.

Biggs did it. Oh yeah, totally dude. That one fucking time I called him pie fucker on TV and he never let me let it down. You see, they all thought that I because I was the loser of the film would not have a career but I have a career

I do like yeah so he gets as Chris said sort of Homer Simpson down the gorge because they have him in the stretcher and they've pulled him up

the hill off the pond and then he falls back down it and lands it flips it hits a snowbank and flips over and he lands face first on the ice which is really brutal he's also Dusty Dingleman

has changed his name to Dusty Lee I guess he's got a stage name as an EMT I guess that's the idea I mean like Dinkleman dude wouldn't you Thinkleman, Tinkleman, stinkleman, it's all right there.

It's got to be something there. I mean, like, also, I was distracted, and I assume it's his real hair. The hair is weird, right? It's like, it's like Neil Diamond desk. What is that? Yeah, it's a, it's, it's colored a little different. He's got some, like, highlights in there, and it is just styled. Curlier than usual with him.

It's just very, he was just one of those dudes that, like, from American Pie on, for most movies you saw him in, He just had the same haircut. But yeah, it's a weird do on him. And he's like, we should say Amy Smart, if she has a character, which she doesn't, she has a prize to be won. And that's all she does. Is like studying to be a teacher. And that's why they're playing with the kids.

Right. And like she's like got this. She's just moved back to home while she's going to school. And she also substitutes. That's why she's at the bar. Right. And like, so this guy, Dinkleman's like, oh, you're back in town, Jamie. Hey, how's it going?

like she's like oh you don't have a bad wig and fake bad skin so you look like Chris Klein right now that's great yeah there is he has the line of like oh yeah the skin cleared up or whatever but when you see him in the flashback his face looks like Kevin Spacey's chest and paid for yeah it's not know what affliction it's not just like teen acne or whatever this dude's got an affliction yeah it's bad bad news I do like the gag here of they're going to the hospital and the ambulance and he Chris Klein is flirting with Amy Smart

over Ryan Reynolds and like he's fucking like oh get your number yeah you can sign it and he like drops the clipboard like on his crotch so she can write the number there's some good little physical beats

in here so now he's got a rival and he's going to try and outdo the rival and like this is when he's like oh she likes the sensitive thing so I'll be the biggest pussy that ever lives oh right if she wants Mr. Rogers I'm going to show her the biggest pussy out there is a line he does to Clark

because he's getting his veneers re-put in all his teeth re-put in. There's the quick scene where the brother is trying to get with Samantha here. Yeah. She's just like sitting around like, oh my God, I'm so fucking horny.

And then she's like, wait, how old are you? And he's like, oh, I'm... He does the whole like, oh, I'm a 22, 20, 19. I'm 18 years old. And she's like, 18. Too old for Megan Kelly. Good enough. for me.

She're not 16, I'd be more entice. And she's doing like, oh, my back is killing me. And he's like, oh, I could give you a massage. And then she does this great. She takes her clothes off and when the shirt drops, she goes, oops, I'm naked. She is so fucking funny. Yeah, and it's just, this is like a scene out of an

American pie thing. We're getting fucking baby oil all over the place. It's like a whole thing. Very American pie-esque. For sure. But it's broken up. Chris comes home. Ryan Reynolds comes up. This is where he's fighting with the brother. This is one where I was like, this is some like WWE fight coordination

because the kid is like bent over something. Ryan Reynolds like stomp kicks this kid's lower back. And I was like, whoa, that better be movie magic because you just paralyze that guy. Next scene he's in a wheelchair. Thanks. But yeah, he's going to take her to see, here goes a big joke, everybody, the notebook.

Oh my God, dude. That was a huge thing at the time, right? Oh, you have turned back your clocks to remember the notebook sweeping the nation. Oh, yeah, which I think was just the year before. It's 2004, I think. Here's the weird thing, though. And the guys didn't like the notebook so much, you understand? It was the gals that enjoyed the notebook.

But some of the guys knew if you took the gals to the notebook that love might blossom, what was it being a very romantic and sad film? Here's the thing, though. I got no problem with people liking the notebook. I think it's fine. Balled my eyes out the one time I was. I was like, why? Why?

Why? Why is it that so many people are going to see the notebook on Christmas Eve. Well, Christmas is, why is anyone doing anything? I mean, again, because he calls her up and he's like, hey, I know it's Christmas Eve. You got any plans? Like, nope. I'm like, you're at home for Christmas. You're in your family house.

Like, we're doing something. You live with your parents. What's dad doing? That's true that her family has like the insane Christmas display. He's Christmolding. Yes. they're either going to Aunt Mary's house or Aunt Mary's going to their

house. Something's going on around Christmas. Where's Aunt Mary is what I'm asking? That's my question. And I'm not saying I'm surprised that people are going to the movies on Christmas Eve. I am aware not everyone celebrates Christmas but I am mainly just curious about the film curation for the day. That's all I'm saying. It's very

weird. You just have this big tear-jurker romantic drama on Christmas Eve. Jimmy Stewart here. What do you made you show in the notebook and not it's a wonderful life. What do you mean? Yeah, I'm calling you from hell. I'll box your ears.

Me and Ronnie are here, and we're just wondering what the hell you're doing up there. There's one thing that's happening tonight, and it's my character, George Bailey, pulling down the fucking moon, you understand? You got that fucking James Garner off there. Al-Chybers for Christmas. Outrage! Whatever her name was, married to Cassavetties, that guy smoked way too much. It's coming from me, you see.

Could you also put on Kings Row for Ronnie? He was so good in that. picture. Rollins, that's her name. Friends owned me. You want to see the man who shot Liberty Valz? The man who shot you. You don't play? It's Christmas. It's Christmas for Christ, thanks. And here we go. There's more, we're watching the notebook. So the whole thing here is, A number one, his brother gets an F-bomb, right? This is when he's, I think this is when he's like, I'm going to see the notebook with Jamie. And he calls the brothers on the phone and he gives him a full-on F-bomb here, I believe. With the full T. Jamie's like,

because she can look here with a-oh, that's fun. But now we're watching the Well, actually, we- So, yeah, so she shows up. He's like, a pick-me-up. We'll go to the movies. She shows up the house, immediately hitting off with the mother. So that's a good sign. But then, uh-oh, who else is here?

But fucking Chris Klein, he comes in. Yeah, here's Dinklman. He's coming along. Because when he has called Jamie to invite her on the date, Dinkleman calls in. And she's like, oh, hang on, I got a call on the other line. It's Dinkleman. So clearly she's like, hey, Dinkleman, I'm going to the movies.

Like, let's go. then just doubling the awkwardness a fucking Brandon Walsh moment happens where the mother's accidentally invited along so now Julie Haggerty's coming now you're watching the notebook with your mother in the theater because everyone's leaving Julie Haggerty alone on Christmas it's pretty fucked up like poor lady

crazy where is we hear what happened to the husband no we don't know is it a widow is it probably he mentions at the start of the movie oh that's why they get divorced oh divorce okay and a cigarette situation yep he's still looking for it. He also sends the brother out to take

what's her name, Anna Farris to do an open mic so that like she can rediscover her artistic spirit and it's supposed to be like at this coffee house open mic but uh oh it's now a metal yes the coffee the coffee house has been turned into a metal that everyone is at on Christmas Eve again yeah

and they all hate her for not playing metal it's like why that joke just doesn't work on a fundamental like believability level because, like, she wouldn't hit the stage. It would never happen. You're at a metal club.

You walk out with a fucking acoustic guitar. The metal club is closed for Christmas. It's Christmas Eve. No one's open for fucking Christmas Eve. Oh, sorry, yeah, the foundry's closing that. We're all home with our families who we love very much. We don't know what you're doing here. I mean, look, there might be the alcoholic metal guy, like, drinking at the bar.

That's it. Maybe they're... Well, spider's always there. Yeah. Spider is always there. It is packed with people. Yes, to the gills. Like fucking Mastodon was playing.

So we're, we're... watching the notebook and he's not into it because he's a guy's guy, a regular dude. But this is like and now this is something I think out of, you'd find it in like an early Sandler movie. He's sitting there watching the movie and just out loud to himself, he's like, oh,

the notebook is so gay. And then he looks and two dudes are making out during the movie. And then they both sort of turn around and look at him. They don't say anything, but it's just like, gay. Yes. And I'm like, what is happening here? The year was 2000 and fucking five. But the

fucking train is coming off the track in this scene. This is outrageous. So yeah, he's like he notices that in the it is the tear jerker moment of that movie when she has the moment of clarity through the dementia and she's

where have I been and he's like we got a hug now, baby. She's like well how long did it last last? Oh, it's only the better part of five minutes. It's like it's fucking heartbreaking and so like this cock and got a jacket itself. We've got five minutes. Get going before you forget who I am and it's weird again.

Jerk me off before it's against the law again. I had no idea it was so adult. Oh, yeah. One last time, my tulip. Yeah, this is not your mother's notebook. X, X, X, X. So, like, in that moment, like, Jamie is all upset and she grabs Chris Klein's hand and Ryan Reynolds goes, hey, respect my authority.

But then, like, Julie, the joke is Julie Haggetty grabs his hand. And she's like, oh, peanut. That's all you can't have you see the notebook with your mom. I forgot by now he's got a retainer back in because of the something with the teeth getting them fixed. Oh, the stitches. To make him like look like a loser again. Are they got the voice again?

On the drive back, Dusty is like chastising his usage of the retainer because he's got it out. It's just like, oh, you know, it's so the human mouth is so many germs and this. And Amy Smart is he goes, put it back in. Yes. Like everyone in the car hates him. They're disgusted. Like, you know how much germs you're spreading around the car right now? There is the quick shot of Samantha getting booed off the stage.

They throw a fucking bottle at her head or whatever. But, yeah, so we drop everybody off. And then it's like, oh, gee, this is Julie Haggardie. He's like, does everybody want to come in for Coco? And Chris Klein declines, but the rest of them go inside for some cocoa. And this is like, again, because, like, there isn't a person behind these eyes, you see, with this Ryan Reynolds character. So we're watching the scene

where they are watching home movies and so we're paying for the fat suit. We got some fat suit footage here. Thank God. And we're just like having a good time or whatever. And he's like kind of starting to smile. And I'm like, but is this like sociopath stuff again? Exactly.

Do you remember the good, do you literally remember? Because I think that they even go out at some point they're listening to old music. Yeah, he finds the, he's like the old mixtape or whatever. And then I do like that their mixtape has the Mortal Kombat Technos on. on it. That's pretty funny. They're laughing about it. And then like, is this when they, is this the, uh, almost sex, but

isn't sex, right? We get the, uh, it's like Christmas morning or whatever. And he's got the card for her. All right. With like he, this is where we are revealed. He's got this one of, uh, maybe it's the date. Maybe it's January 95. Yeah. And he's got the manifesto. Here's all the reasons to love Jamie. 100 reasons that Jamie rules. And he, yeah, there it is. And he puts it in

the Christmas card and he goes over to the house, which It's like, dude, did you not learn anything from the yearbook fiasco 10 years ago, man? And don't be springing this to be on Christmas? Absolutely not. Yeah, good point, actually. Don't ruin my Christmas with this friend's own shit. Aunt Mary only makes the fucking pork rolls once a year. And I don't want Aunt Mary's pork roll memory to be fucking wrapped in with the memory of you being weird on Christmas with that letter.

But yeah, so the big plot point here is he tells the brother like, oh, hey, I'm going over to Jamie's. make sure you keep Samantha distracted blah blah blah because she's like sleeping still and so when he leaves we see Anna Ferris wakes her eyes wake up like she overheard the whole thing or whatever so like point of embarrassment here the brother left the windows down in his cool car

so he can't drive so he's got to take a bike over and he goes over there and wouldn't you know it there's Chris Klein singing Christmas tunes with his acoustic guitar just this room is just enraptured and staring at him or whatever and you see Ryan Reynolds and he's like kind of mopey

and he puts the card on the table and kind of slinks away and I was like again though is this sociopath shit or are you feeling bad in this moment? And somewhere Julie Haggerty has made a beautiful ham that no one's either

like no one's there nobody's even slapping it no one's slapping the ham no one's even appreciating it well the younger brother's busy slapping his own hand oh that's true oh right right right yeah

but nobody in the fucking in the Amy Smart House nobody's in the kitchen everybody's out to listen to Chris Klein. I'm like, this is a bigger family. Of course it's fucking smoke coming out the fucking place. And this is, this is wild though, because he finishes whatever the Christmas

Carol is that he sings. It's a religious one. And then they're like, oh, encore, encore, and he's like, okay, yeah, sure, I'll do an encore. And I'm like, all right, cool, Frost's the Snowman, Jingle Bell, maybe Jingle Bell Rock if you want to get nuts. Sure. Here's my Jamie Palomino's song.

Oh, God, no, not on fucking Christmas. Shills me to my bones. Yeah. She's just someone sang a song that they wrote about you And they sang it to you in front of other people Not sanctioned, not a sanctioned Christmas event And she Not in any time sanctioned event, frankly

Everyone's kind of into it I think he calls Clark at this point And is like, what am I going to do? Is it, come on man, you're not the same guy from high school You got to get in there and like tell her how you feel or whatever Remember dude like it's just dusty dinkleman He fucking sucks. It's old stinkleman man.

you don't like that guy, you're better than dusty. It's just dinkleman, dinkleman, dinkleman, dinkum, and then they, like, go out on the outside to do, like, Christmas caroling, I assume, or something. Which is a weird, we're going out on our own front lawn, turning around to face our own house, and singing those Christmas carols to our empty house. Yeah. Because it's the, because here's where Anna Ferris comes in, and she drives the car over the snowbank onto the yard, and she fucking knocks down all the Christmas decorations. So this is this is the house with the dad's prized grease. I think maybe the town gathers because they've got the best Christmas display or something because a priest is there. Oh, right. Yes. Everyone's there to enjoy it.

One of the real laughs I got out of this movie was Anna Ferris getting out of that car and the priest like touches her or whatever. Yeah. Get off me, God boy. God boy. And this is somewhere in the development process. Somebody looked at the script and like, well, where's the Christmas freak out? This is a Christmas movie. You need. A Christmas vacation-esque, big, I mean, like, deck the halls we just did, there's a big old Christmas. We love, if there's a big Christmas, quote-unquote comedy, you need the Christmas freak out, whether it makes sense or not. No, and here, yeah, this is the fucking, the Yuletide disaster right here is like, Anna Ferris just gets back in the car to speed off. And then the car gets like light cables wrapped around it.

Yeah. And she drives off and it takes everything with it and fires starch. Yeah. As Santa burns to death The, you know, the display. Yeah, not the real guy. Who's coming tonight? Three are dead tonight after a pop star, Samantha Drones.

I mean, they would burn Santa as a witch if they could. That would be amazing, right? He's got dark magic. Maybe that happened. Copyright, we have movies. This could be a movie we're going to make. It's about Santa Claus in Salem going to say to reward people. and then they capture them and burn them alive.

Oh, hell yeah, dude. It's a warlock. Yes, exactly. Day Christmas died. I'll tell you what. That's good. And it sounds like something, like a holiday horror,

like holiday haunt that I would watch and it wouldn't be terrible. And then you get like, I guess for revenge for Santa, you can even maybe one of the reindeer is possessed by something or get one of his like German friends. Else for crying out loud.

Are we thinking? Real dude, dude. Eric, just a tough customer. We're in the elevator. I'm hearing your elevator pitch. I'm enjoying your elevator pitch thus far. I got off at the fourth floor, so you've got to be quick here. I'm going to hit every button.

Shit! Is this a thing, so Santa gets burned in the Salem, which trial times? Yes. Is he coming back for vengeance now? Or is this... That's interesting. Or is this like around... That's the sequel.

Oh, okay. The sequel's present. Oh, so wait, I got to watch this whole movie and Santa only gets burned at the stake at the end of it. No, no, no. It's like the wicker man. Yeah, maybe it is. Oh, God, no. We're still working it out.

I got you. It could go multiple ways. Oh, it's a Santa Tale, though. So it's called the Thicker Man. The emergency exit button here on this elevator. So Jamie goes over to Chris's sometime later, and she's like, I want to talk to the guy that wrote me this. And she's got the manifesto. And, you know, she's into it.

We're eating ice cream. We're having a good time. What she's asking is, are you the, what is going on in there, that brain? Is there anything behind those dead eyes? Is there anything in that fucking black heart of yours? Like, what is going on? Or are you trying to fuck me for sexual sport? That's my question.

There is a funny thing where there's the big picture of him in the suit or whatever, and he's got this hat on. He's just like, does that hat make me look fat? And it's a really unflattering angle with the fat suit chin and whatever. It's kind of funny. But this is when, like, I'm going to sleep over for Christmas. And it's like, okay. And she's like, where it is?

Like old time. Yes. Waring his shirt, the whole bit. And like, it's the thing where like... She presents. She presents. Pretty much. If the, in a better, in any better movie, you can't just have voiceover in this scene.

Voiceover in this scene's insane. It's correct. Because you don't, that's the screenwriter admitting like, oh shit, I forgot to make a movie. Not voiceover. Internal monologue. Exactly. His thoughts right here. I didn't know what you were saying.

Yeah. You hear what he's thinking. Am I going to sleep with you? Jamie. And I was like, where'd that come from? Who said that? Exactly. Because it doesn't make any sense. You as the audience should know, like, if he like, ooh, I'm not going to sleep with her because blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. I should

know that from whatever. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the last 80 minutes of the moon. But what's crazy, I mean, I'm sorry, you're in the situation. She says she wants to sleep over. And then she comes out the bathroom, which, by the way, this kid's high school bedroom, he's got a fucking onsuit.

Very nice. Brandon Walshask. Totally. Maybe Julie Haggerty is in one of the small bedrooms He's got the master Yeah you can have the bigger room hon For 10 years You are the bigger person Yeah

Oh god But she comes out that bathroom And she's Donald ducking Yeah of course In his button down shirt That's it man The plane can land Here it is

But no now he's got His heart grew three sizes for Christmas or something In a crazy turn Okay so they don't sleep together but in a crazy turn the next day she's telling it was it Darla that she wanted him

to fuck her and of course she did the shirt, the Donald Ducking the evidence was like but she never wanted to until that moment right yeah right but there's also this moment where she's in bed

and she's like my feet are cold can you warm them right the feet if you had any doubt you know there it is the old I'm cold could you warm me up ladies and gentlemen footplay she wants you to piss on her

feet. What I would love. Wait a minute. Oh my God, Ryan Reynolds. One, yeah, it's very cold in here. But two, I think my foot just got bit by a jellyfish. Here, drink some water. Drink some more water.

Drink some water. Oh, sorry, that's dog semen. How about some coffee? Oh, I was from my friend Van Wilder. Excuse me. What I would do if I was Ryan Reynolds in the situation and I wanted to maybe like, you know, extend that, you know, I wasn't really into having sex of this moment because I'm afraid of the emotional impact. I'd like, look, look, look. I don't want our first time to be when I have to be really weird and quiet because my mom's downstairs.

Also true. Can we be adults about this and like we'll make out a little bit? We'll go to bed and I'll take you out a real date and we'll go to get a hotel or something. That's reasonable. But there's at least the thrill that he wanted to experience back in 95, which was the parents could come in at any second. Which as an adult who has your own hotel room, that risk is much less. My elderly mother that I just neglected on Christmas, I'm going to have a. loud sex at her house.

Honey, are you fucking up there? As long as you're happy, dear. Knock, knock, knock. Honey, I made you some ham sandwich. Get on it. Is anyone going to watch Christmas story with me? Oh, fuck me. Fuck me so good.

Guess not. Play. There is, it's a weird thing where because, again, I didn't know how this movie ended and I was like, well, surely time should be up by now. Why not? I thought it was going to be a thing where in that moment he did indeed realize, like, Oh, like I can't get it up because, like, yeah, I actually do just care for her as a friend.

Yes. We are just friends. Yes, that'd be actual insight. No, that's not happening. No. He goes to Clark. Like, yeah, you're right, Eric. Like, she goes to Darla. He goes to Clark. They're kind of having a back and forth. Why, what happened there? Darla, of course, because we needed to get one more. And she's like, maybe he's gay. I don't know. I had to get it right in there. And by the way, this, we separate off for the convo's here. This is now watching when Harry Metz out. Yeah. Oh, right. This is exactly what happened. We didn't do it. They didn't do it. They didn't do it. Nobody was fucking on Christmas. And there needs to, this is a complication this we absolutely doesn't need is like he's talking to Clark about, you know, I don't know.

I like, I like, I like, what are I supposed to do? I'm going to. And reasonably is like, what we're going to fuck. And then I'm going to go back to L.A. And she's going to stay here. And then what happens? Yeah. Dinkleman shows up to be a cad of some kind and he's been playing the long game.

And I'm like, this isn't this movie. Because this dentist. He's like feeling up a nurse. Yeah. Yeah. Because the dentist. has his dentist office at the hospital where Chris Klein's always coming in because he's an EMT

and yeah he's like feeling up some nurse and tongue kissing her and he's also playing the same song that he said was for Jamie but he's now just putting this woman's name and he now needs to Ryan Reynolds does save her from this other sexual revenge guy which he literally says sweet revenge for keeping us in the friend zone all these years

which I guess like the idea is like oh it's a dark reflection of Ryan Reynolds he's going to learn something sure not really no it's just I gotta beat that guy yes I have to win it's well it is very something not Mary which I love about that movie I want to rewatch that movie I don't know if it holds up oh really okay is that right it's been I think it's been it's been at least

20 years like that's the funniest part about that movie is when Ben Stiller realizes all these freaks are exactly him like all these other dudes that have been like yeah obsessing about her for a year years, oh, that's, I'm just as bad as Chris Elliott, I'm just as whomever, you know what I'm like, that is that's real, that's real heart

to that. That's the thing is that with a lot of those Farley Brothers movies from the area, yes, they have the language you don't so much like. Yes, there's some gross out things that go a little too far, but they all have heart and they made a point to do that. Right. What's bonkers about this too is like the dentist friend

is literally driving him to the airport here. And we have a jerk the wheel. Jesus. to get to turn around and go back but like the jerking the wheel to come back to town thing is just for the you're going to go to the door you're going to say oops

I was a jerk I loved you and then the movie's over no there's 20 minutes left this is this whole thing we're going to this church where Chris Klein is doing a children's sing along by the way Christmas is in the rear view this was a Christmas movie by the way take two yeah and so we're at the church and so he comes in and it's like what are you doing

here man you can't be here and he's like dragging Amy Smart by the hand like I gotta talk to you we're gonna go back to the rectory here and he keeps Chris Klein is now just do a totally different character like every time she turns her baggues yeah he's behind her back scumbagging

while he's like playing the guitar and shit yeah and it boils over and Ryan Reynolds Chris just tackles him because this is another kind of Christmas movie Christmas comedy tropes specifically there has to be a fight where someone goes over a table or a big thing gets knocked down with people I do think Chris Klein

has a good line read of what are you doing this is a Christmas concert for children that's great but yeah so it's just he's looking bad there and then he's going to go fucking get wasted dragged out by the townspeople

and even the kids the kids by the way who are the end of this movie which is insane yeah that's that's they have these three kids and one's like you should date him he's been a dinkleman he's so much rude for dusty dusty we'll get to those kids in a moment shut the fuck up kids you don't know what's going on so he's getting drunk at a bus stop with tim the burned out jock

and he's going to get out of town and why can't julie haggerty drive him because you know why her fucking oldest child ditched her on christmas man she's like you know what you can eat my ass deer i'm not driving you anywhere fair uh he's drinking he's drinking with the other guy the bald dude yeah you're drinking with tim at the bus stop and uh he gets on the bus and i do love this he's got the open bottle on the bus. He's like, hey, Mr. bus driver, man. And the bus goes 10 feet and stops and he gets jazzy jeffed off it. Very funny. In front of the

barn, where Jamie works and it's like, oh, and now Chris Klein is setting up for an open mic there or whatever. This guy and his acoustic guitar are real busy around this town. I'll tell you what, man. Yeah, but yeah, he's getting shot down here. Dusty

shoots a shot and she says, I think you're charming and sweet, but I just don't have those feelings for you. also you've been doing all these jerk off moves behind me I know I have eyesight I can see those I guess you thought I didn't see it when you did that in the church but I mean it's a rectory it was really small I saw it it's clear as day

I felt the wind of your hand jacking off behind me my hair moved and I was like that's feverish he's got the scariest line of the movie here this dusty fella I worked really hard on that song what kind of girl would you be if you didn't put out for the guy who wrote you a song oh right which I guess that's this movie finally telling you that's not you aren't expected to have sex question mark right yeah uh and he's being like nasty ryan reynolds here because he's drunk he drunkenly like harasses

her he calls her a tease on the loud speaker and does a mic drop oh right this yeah the microphone it's insane and then have fun being the girl who peaked in high school and then he just goes back to los angeles and then we have scenes in los angeles yes that's an insane thing that we get we get back to Los Angeles and there's like, that's a nuclear thing. That's the girl who picked in high school. And you called her a tease in front of her at her job. And second of all, we go to Los

Angeles, here's Stephen Routtson. You're fired. And then he is like, oh man, I hated making all that soulless corporate music. I'm going to do something else. I'm going to move back to New Jersey. Sure. Whatever. Get a teaching degree. I'm going to become a snow globe entrepreneur.

Exactly. That's the way a movie has to work. Instead, it's Anna Ferris had broken into his house while he was away and is like living there and wants to be with them. Like a fucking squirrel. Like what the fuck? Jesus. She tasers his nuts.

Oh, yeah. That's a lot of play. It's a lot of fun these days. Yeah, don't tase me, bro. I do love so. Now that's an old pre-endid. It was during the internet, but not when the internet was quite pre- YouTube, you understand. You'd go on E-Bomb's world to watch a video. That was Uber. E-Bomb was a man that held

and kept humorous videos for you to watch in a curated fashion. If that's not your fancy, you could always head on over to you're the man now, Don. And I don't mean to piss anybody off here, but that was E, B, A, U.M, not B-O-M-B. It was a crazy time. MySpace was in retrograde, and the ascension of Tumblr had just begun. But wouldn't you know it, kids, there were some villains out there on the internet. You went to www. dot rotten.com

and you would see the worst humanity had to offer, including Tupac's autopsy photos and also the Chris Farley crime scene photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember seeing the Chris Farley one. I don't know if the Tupac thing was fake, but that was something that

rotten.com presented to me back in the day. I hope they're out of business. I'm sure. I'm sure it's long gone. But yeah, he gets too much competition, Eric. There's a funny gag. Like, he gets, when he gets to the house, he throws a wad of cash at the cab driver he throws his suitcase like off a balcony and it clearly like goes through the sunroof of a car which is pretty funny and he's walking around the house he sits down and when he sees anna ferris's uh guitar it does a dolly zoom on him which is very funny and he realizes she's in the house yeah and it's like they have like a blow up because he's like i was never into you and again like it would be kind of cool if he was just like look you're just not for me you know what i mean if you could get into some sort of reasonable place he's he's he's he's presented as like this player character, but he can't talk to

any of these women. No. No. In any way whatsoever. And he can't imagine that she's a person. Exactly. It will not enter his brain. You're going to make some guy really happy. Like so many guys would want to be the me, but it's just not for me. My little brother for one. Exactly. Whatever. But now. I thought that was also going to be something was like, of course he gets with Amy Smart, but then the brother gets with Anna Farris maybe. Sure. I do, she does have a funny

line where she's like, yeah, we're going to make this record. I've been reworking the song. It's so great. We can be this powerhouse producer artist relationship. We can be like Jessica Simpson and her father except we can have sex with each other. She says they can't legally They can't, they can't legal because there's laws

Whatever it is. Yeah, it's so funny It's a very funny. I believe she calls him Santa's little horror, which is kind of funny I guess. But Stephen Root needs to be like, and you're fired boy or whatever. More Stephen Root. That is a note for everybody. You go to Jersey, dude.

You open up a studio there. You start working on the jersey sound kind of music again. Jersey sound. Hell yeah. Get some Jersey boys in there. Or he goes to New York. You know what I mean? It's close enough.

I could be here on the weekend. Whatever. I'm at the forefront of vapor wave. I know all the musics. And, you know, he goes to the house and just does the whole like, I realized, you know, I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all. And they start making out because that's the end of the movie.

and that's that's what you're going to do somebody who's just like oh we need the end of the movie oh here's one page that that's like the end of the movie is one page because it's like they just start making out and then you see the next door neighbor it's the three kids and you see what's going on here is like the one girl like sort of

shares it's like a cookie or something with like the one kid the little kid the nerdy kid gives the girl here and Melissa here's my cookie and then she's like hey Bradley do you want my cookie half my cookie and it's like oh no yeah and then the kid is like oh wow I guess I'm in the friend zone and then he looks at the camera oh yeah and like that's the end of his movie is this kid to an

oh no like Jason coming back out of the water friend zone has returned it's crazy and the fact that he gets with jamie and they make out and I want to have babies with you that's all you had to say marry and have babies with you well this is also the end of movie this is the problem with most quote unquote friend zone scenarios at the end because you've been in this psychotic relationship with this woman for years and you're on you've been dating for years and she's like let's have our very first date that's weird you know what I mean like yeah yeah uh all right I'm gonna have to dig back in my memory to our fake first date that I gave us and see you uh no we're getting married

we're gonna get married and have kids I mean frankly that is a bit much it is that should spook her all over again like oh no it's terrified I'm just getting my teaching degree I'm living at home right now. I want to get some shit together. Like, let's get some coffee and fuck around. I'm usually not really pro-gun, but Jamie, get a gun. Jamie's got a gun. For protection. That's all. Yeah.

But yeah, and then the end of this is just him singing, I swear, by one for all. Right, throughout the entire credits. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Yeah, where did we see some fat suits singing? Not a few years before this Chris Cabin. Boy, you

are totally right there. I hadn't even thought about that. Not an original bone in this movie's buying. Oh, man. And it just, it can't even be bothered to care about Christmas, which I really thought this was a Christmas movie. Christmas, nope. Christmas, ironically, is just a little bit of a decoration on this movie.

It's not really, you know, whatever. But that's why we're doing this so many weeks before Christmas. Right, exactly. It's the least Christmas of the movies. Yes, you're right. But that is the end of Just Friends. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts and I guess possible recommendations, Mr. Siska.

Oh, my God. It is a heartwarming. Christmas classic. No, no. Yeah, no, it's not very good. It's, it's, you know, a lot of these, these comedies of this ilk is just, yeah, they're minefields today and this is no exception. I did not enjoy rewatching this for my second time in five years.

Well, yeah, I mean, uh, yeah, I, I, of course, the language is abhorrent and all that. But like, more than that, this movie is just like mean-spirited. Yep. but also like very forgiving to everything Ryan Reynolds does because the world is after him and he's going to destroy him right that drives me

those kinds of movies drive me crazy in general and this one is no different and I do I wish at some point we understood who he was not happening clearly I'm not sure I would have to think

I guess that definitely maybe is the only time I was like oh Ryan Reynolds is playing a human oh wow that's one where he's the dad political consultant and he's like talking about all the women he's been with

in his life how you met my mom or whatever. It was Abigail Breslin's little girl maybe? That sounds right. I don't know. Yeah, you're probably uh, but like, he can do the person thing. He just didn't think it would work. And this early on, it just, uh, all

fucking Hansa Anna Ferris for like getting something out of this. Yeah, best part of the movie. Oh, and I should a little story. Uh, my father-in-law went on a date with Julie Haggerty and still talks about his day. I would too. Yeah. What are you kidding me? That was

literally. Uh, man. So you say that. I'd go a day with Julie Haggerty tomorrow, honestly. What is she doing? Did she get a lot? I'm pretty sure she's still. Oh, come on. No. While you look that up.

Yes, thank you. There are some movies, you know, we're not being comedy purists here. Like, certainly obviously, like things don't age. And comedy is the thing that does, I think, rightfully change quite a bit. What we allow and what we accept should progress. But that doesn't necessarily mean the comedy of that. era has to go on the shelf. Like, airplanes got some stuff about it that you wouldn't be crazy

about. Blazing Saddles, for example. Like, uh, you know, and just Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. Animal house. Animal house, my God. There's all these things and like what you could accept in one of those movies you may not want to accept in the other, et cetera. But it's just the ethos of this. We rot into the core

and the fact that it's not very funny. It's also like, and it's not funny because, oh, you use that word. It's not funny. It's like, it's not funny and you use that word. It's kind of where we're coming from here. And I think, yeah, Ryan Reynolds is just, I've never been the world's biggest fan. Like, I literally, I kind of only like him in those dead, the first two dead people movies, the third one not being it.

But that's kind of where I'm at with my boy, Rai, rye. By the way, Julie Haggerty very much still alive. All right, so very much still just, very much. Just working. She's got three episodes of Matlock under her belt, which is 24. Oh, she was in, that's right, she was in the abysmal Netflix comedy, the Outlaw. If anybody... I did not see that.

Dude, Chelsea and I struggled to get through that fucker. Was that a Christmas joint or... No, it's Pierce Brosnan and Ellen Barkin are like the parents of the girl who

Adam Devine is going to be married to and it's like their spies or assassins or something. It's the movie where I had first like seen Adam Devine

like star in something I think where he was the guy and like the intense Dan Aykroyd energy that that guy was given off and I mean that in a negative way actually was like unsettling to me sure but she's in this she's been in stuff but anyway yeah Julie yeah well Julie if you're listening tell Julie if someone knows Julie that I want to how about come to New York we'll have a date with all of us yeah yeah all compete for you oh that sounds like a fun with a date with Julie Haggerty give her a rose and she can give it to who she likes uh look at

this though coming up for Julie Haggerty by the way next year she's in the new M. Night movie. Yeah. Hell yeah. Jake Gyllenhaal. I can't wait. Julie. Yes, she's fifth build, according to IMDB. Love that. Cannot wait. Anyway, with this movie, yeah, as far as

like, you know, we're doing movies for the holiday season, of course. This is a movie that just, it could be fucking said at any holiday, and it wouldn't matter. Chris has nothing to do with this. So a little bit of a deception there. I didn't appreciate that. I will say something. We haven't said a lot, because she's not much of a character here. I like Amy Smart.

I've always liked Amy Smart and stuff. don't see her a lot these days but you know again it was like 05 like the odds that was she was part of that acting class that was of that time and you know I was liked her in things one of these days we will get to crank I swear

I swear we'll get there and she will be there and we'll talk quite a lot about what she has to go through and so while I don't I'm not going to recommend this movie it is just like like I said it's wrapped in amber it's of its time it is more watchable

than I'm trying to find the title of it because I just want to make sure it's right and there's so many just Deadpool special features that he's listed as starring in on his fucking IMDB. Sure. My God, where is it now? Very Deadpool Christmas. No, oh, here it is.

Spirited, the not great Christmas. So this movie is more watchable than that. Is it? Oh, I mean, I've been spirited. It's terrible. That's terrible. What is better the, I want to be Jim Carrey, Ryan Reynolds, or I'm just Deadpool all the time, Ryan Reynolds?

I think it's the second one. I think it is because that pretty guy sucked so bad. But at least it's like that's, you're doing your thing, dude, and you're not trying to rip off gym or other people. But I mean, this spirit, it's a musical Christmas movie. It's him and Will fucking Farrell together. It at least is definitely soaked in Christmas. But man, that was a hard watch too.

So pick your Ryan Reynolds holiday entertainment accordingly is what I'm saying. But that is going to do it for this episode. As always, if you want more we hate movies, including shows like this one, but without commercials, head over to Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies where, yes, this month, we are going to be going holiday crazy as much as we can here. Do we have, yes,

the AD, Steve Sadec, what do we got going on for that guy? We just did Frosty the Snowman, the 1969 animated special, Rankin and Bass Joint. Hell yeah. Great, great little episode there. I forgot about the magician. We actually went about an hour, so

not very little episode, a big, honk and stinking one for your holidays. We've got a similar big honking one for once in a lifetime. We have Hot Frosty. That's right. The movie, Everybody knows, I guess. The Netflix movie, Hot Frosty, where the girl wants to fuck Frosty the Snowman. Yes.

If you heard our live episode or you were there in Boston when we performed the show on Pretty Woman, I think we talked about Hot Frosty for like a third of that set. Yeah, sounds right. So it's all there. So both Hot Frosty and Frosty the Snowman, AD, those will be out next week. if you're listening to this on the day it comes out that is which is December the 2nd just two days from now the 4th not Christmas at all but that's okay this month's WLM because the new one's coming out you guessed it avatar the way of water that will come out this Thursday we have different holidays it's not the same yeah

an avatar holiday different holidays on Pandora day yeah there you go I'm waiting for some sort of Star Wars holiday special esk holidays on Pandora dog shit the rear its ugly head one of these days. Speaking of Star Wars, we have our Star Wars Shide show, the big glossary where this month where, you know, we're getting the family back together. We talked about Gavin Darklighter at the season 16 premiere, but now we are talking

about Biggs Darklighter, who's a relative, and it's a spirited conversation. On Melro 210, we're doing a double duty of Melrose place. That's right. Because in two episodes time, they were doing a

Christmas-themed Christmas Carol kind of deal. So we're like, you know what? We're just going to do two Melrose place. And the next month, we'll do 902 and0. So a big double duty of Melrose place this month on Melro 210. And the cool thing that it's nice that this sort of works out that way, Steve, because the Melro 2102 in January, not only will it be two 90210s, but it is the two parter

of them graduating high school. So big deal there. And of course, at the end of the month, we're talking the 29th folks. It's a Monday. get ready for our final commentary of the year. The King of Congmentary. Oh, man. Us going back to the world of nonfiction is always a lot of fun. We haven't recorded it yet,

but Billy Mitchell is going to get eviscerated. Hell yeah. But as always, of course, that's all the Patreon stuff, but of course the Tuesday show, which is also available on the free feed with commercials, but on the Patreon commercial free. We'll roll on next week. Our holiday programming is just getting started.

Steve, things are getting a little spooky next week. guy here. That's right, but still in the Christmas season because we're talking about crampus. Oh, yeah. Now, because there's so many crampus and crampus adjacent movies, this is the one that's just called crampus and Adam Scott is in it. Tony Colette, Adam Scott.

That's the one you want, folks. I know there's a lot of holiday jingle ball garbage out there in the horror world. So that is the crampus you want. Next week we're going to be talking all about it. Until then, I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Zaid. Eric Siska. Take it easy. Thank you.

Oh,