We Hate Movies - S16 Ep835: Avatar: The Way of Water (2022, W❤️M) [EXTENDED PREVIEW]

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

This is an extended preview of our We ❤️ Movies episode on Avatar: The Way of Water! To access the full show, click through here and sign up for our Patreon! Instantly unlock this show, along with countless hours of exclusive content you can't get anywhere else! “They are like R2-D2, they’re sticking it anywhere that’s open!” - Steve, on all the Na’vi tail play On this month’s patrons-only We ❤️ Movies episode, we’re heading back to beautiful Pandora to check in on Jake Sully and his ever-growing brood in Avatar: The Way of Water! How absolutely gorgeous is this movie? Can we can it with the “Family Language Track” offerings, Disney? How hilarious is it when Quaritch finds his old skeleton? Has anyone ever done it better than Sigourney? And can someone please give that Spider a haircut—looking like Jack Black in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is… not fantastic. PLUS: Look out for the cool Na’vi in part four—The Mud Goblins! Avatar: The Way of Water stars Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis, Joel David Moore, CCH Pounder, Edie Falco, Brendan Cowell, Jemaine Clement, Jamie Flatters, Britain Dalton, Trinity Jo-Li Bliss, Bailey Bass, Filip Geljo, Giovanni Ribisi, Dileep Rao, and Jack Champion as Spider; directed by James Cameron. Don’t sleep on snagging your tickets to our 15th Anniversary show this Saturday, December 6, where we’re talking all things Arnold in Total Recall! It’s gonna be a gas and we wanna see you there! Click through for tickets now! Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Speaking inundated, I watched this on the disc. Now, I don't know if the Disney Plus has this option, but I would wager they do because why not put this bad idea everywhere? This, what do they call it? You can opt in the audio settings for the family language track, which takes out all the profanity so you can watch the little blue people with your babies does it take out their hairy

tentacle coss? That's the thing I think we're still tail fucking so it's like what is the point just so you don't hear Jake selling go shit I think spiders says fuck at the end spiders got a fuck in this one which is pretty great yeah give me a fucking break that's I mean maybe there's a setting on my

Disney pluse that I should be able to do it's like right when you put the disc on it's like do you want English do you want all these dubs do you want for the hearing impaired or do you want family wanguage twack? Did you go end to end on that bad boy or what? You watch the six commentary. Everything?

No, I only got it the other day. And it took me honestly like sometimes, you know, watching movies during the day. It's like the fucking doorbells ring in. The walkers comment or whatever. This three hour and 12 minute movie took me like five and a half hours. Oh, this is a sundowner, my friend. You start this with the, well, dude, you said it.

You texted last night. It was like 755 p.m. Steve Sadek text just starting Avatar 2. I was like, my God. Yeah, we were done at 11.30. Yeah. I mean, I started at like 1.30 or something, and the sun did set while I was watching it. It's crazy. And the runtime, to me, at least, is a problem.

I'm sorry, there's a way to tell you could trim some of the fat here to make a compelling story. I agree. I think it's too long. I got fatigued a little, and I like long movies, but I think some of the fat is what I like about this movie. Yes, actually, it's true. I like them having an argument on the beach, relatable. You know, we all. Oh, I've done it.

Oh, everybody's gotten in a fight on the beach, dude, definitely. Did you leave your wall in the fucking car again? Just like, oh, it's a lazy Sunday, and you're talking to your tycoon friend in the water. And I like those little slices of life. I think it makes the movie. The world. He built a world you want to be in and enjoy. And, like, so many of the people who do movies like this just have no interest in building a world like this.

And I'm not saying you have to have money to do this even, even though James Cameron clearly a fucking ocean of money came with this fucking thing. right in the cash department. But I think there's plenty of movies where you build a world and you don't have to do. Bellflower is a great example of a building a world that's a little weirder. Oh, wow. That takes me bad. Great movie. Great movie. That sounds

right. Dude, Bellflower or something. That sounds right. Dude, Bellflower. Great movie. I love that movie. Wow. I got the soundtrack on vinyl, the Bellflower, if you can believe it. You can build these worlds and James just went for the big one. And like, I do. I do love this world. I love what he's doing. I love that he's

interested in all the details. What I don't like so much is that a lot of this movie is just kind of redoing parts of the first one with new characters sometimes i find that more annoying than others well it's sort of like george lucas syndrome like he wants to oh i want to i want to i did avatar sure here's what i here's how i would do it now if i was doing it now that's interesting because i think that there's a lot of sequels sci-fi sequels specifically they can go in a bunch of different ways a lot of them you know the good the best of them it's like oh we don't have to explain anymore

we did that we did that work in the first movie here is just now you know what the world is you know what the conceits are you know what the rules are here's the fucking hard ass story your empire strikes backsies right right right your X2 X-Men United you know what I mean we don't have to do so much legwork doing it sometimes it's the other way around

where it's like we did all that stuff and now I just want to vibe with it you know what I mean you know and that's what this is That's what the, you know what I mean? I think this is more of a vibey sequel as opposed to like a hard-nosed, excellent story told on it also, it kind of retells the first movie. It does, yeah. Like, it's just like, you know how they defeated the sky people?

Well, they're back. And remember the guys they killed those sky people? Well, they're back too. But they're blue people. I think that's kind of an element. I mean, I do like that notion of like, because yeah, it's the same thing in a way, but it's like, it feels that way because it's a revenge story. It's Quarich's Revenge's Revenge, which is like a worst.

title of this movie. If it was a canon film then you go to that. But I think the other thing too, Steve, it's interesting, right? Because you're talking about like setting up the rules and everything. One of the things that, and now with this Fire and Ash reveal, like when I saw that teaser, I was like, okay, this is definitely the case. These movies are Mario maps. Yes, they really are. And so the issue I think with like the 312 runtime, part of that is because like, yes, the world is established. But now there's all these water rules that we have to explain everybody. So there is it's a combo of

we do have the vibe and we can live here because we know what's going on in this world of Pandora but also it's we're on the water level now so we got to tell you about these water level and these you know when you go down to the water level your little pie chart is going to start going you run out of breath and you know I appreciate that there

are different terrains here you know so much in sci-fi it's just like well that's the jungle planet that's the forest planet this is the water planet no no a planet has more than one thing I just went to watch that is that movie to a T and I'm just like, did you like

go anywhere outside the... No, this whole... It's Mountain World. Don't have that time, Stephen. There's no time. I need to go back to that. How does that hold? It's really good. It's a really good movie. But yeah, no, exactly. I think that like the... I think this movie actually really starts to get

into high gear once they fucking get up and go. You know what I mean? Like once they're getting the Navi witness protection and they have to eat their egg noodle and ketchup like a snook. You know what I mean? Once I get to the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's absolutely true.

I think, I mean, sadly, not that sad. I mean, the reason I think he did this and put so much time into the beginning and like, here's dad stuff. Like, I had another kid and, you know, and we went to Disneyland. These Navi, fucking like the Irish, dude. My God in heaven, they got like five kids, four kids. They're being fucking wiped out. I would be doing it too.

Like, come on, fucking get them out. Then they're adopting fucking mutants and whatever else. The movie should be about Jake Scully Introducing the idea of a prophylactic For that thing Like here's some plastic I invented To put over your hairy tails You just get some sandwich wrap around that shit

It's like we can fucking have all the fun Without the fucking tree of life spouting out Anymore Well that's the thing The tree of life you're connected to always It would fucking cause a seizure in your brain And kill you if you're like Hair we can stop fucker

It's like I'm trying to trick God Yeah I let that man cook condoms are doing they're tricking God. Yeah, you shouldn't be doing them, kids. Throw your condoms out. There's a lot of ways people trick God, right? Like, it's just like, oh, you know, it's the Sabbath or whatever.

Can you come over and turn my lights on for me? That's another trick. That's a trick. I figured it out, by the way. Don't try that again. Speaking of God on the Sabbath, we do, of course, have to have some Christ-esque mystery in big movies like this. And this is, um, so in, we mentioned in the first,

movie Sigourney's character is killed. They have been preserving her avatar and somehow the avatar got pregnant and we have this Kiri which is Sigourney Weaver doing mocap acting as a teenager. I do like her

like the performance here where she's got to play younger. It's very, very believable and they don't modify the voice to a distractingly eerie degree if you just heard Sigourney and Sigourney Weaver like famously smoky, throaty kind of voice.

If it was just kind of high-pitched doing a kid thing, that would be so unsettling, right? It'd be gross. And it's usually unsettling. You know, your movie, oh, God, is it Clifford? The Big Red Dog? No.

The Martin Short. Oh, yeah. She's not what she could be doing Clifford. I love Clifford. Because Clifford is disturbing because Martin Short running around as a child. I think it's not disturbing. Like, she actually gets the soul of this character, which is actually a benefit to her. You know, she's,

to be in her late 60s, I imagine. Definitely more memorable than the other kids. Yes. Oh, yeah. Well, the brothers. Well, we lose one and I'm just like, I didn't even notice. Because the brothers do overlap each other way too much. And I'm like, which one is which and why is who?

Well, I think that's to have this tragedy at the end to really gun up and like, Jake Sully is now going to really kill Quorge. Maybe not. Netiri is not so bad. We got a spare. Don't worry. Nateri, don't worry about it. Turns out, wrong kid died.

So now I've got to be mean to this one. Wait, which one was I mean to and which one did I like? Could you remind me? That's why you need at least one fat one. You know what I mean? Give me like a fat knobby, you know what I mean? Jump job. Yeah, jump, and it's like, they're water people, but he's not much of a swimmer.

He's more of a lounger. So he's just like eaten on a float. You'd rather be back home eating all the purple bananas? Finally. Finally, the planet gets its first like processed food place because they've been eating like perfectly. That's why they're so spelt is that they don't have fucking McDonald's. They don't even have a fucking grocery store. That's a great. This is how, and this is like the consumer imperialism and how to take over something.

The sky people should just come back and open up, like, give like grocery stores, have craft mac and cheese for sale. And you will destroy this. Jake Sully, have you had pizza hut? It's delicious. Exactly. Well, my, my old person's had pizza hit, but I'd never had pizza hut in the blue body before, so let's get munch it. I told you kids to avoid the noid. no not of meat lovers oh no the meat lovers followed me here you're grounded for a month no hunting for a month because you didn't avoid the noid it's ed faco deploy the noid

get them out there uh the kids are nittium is the oldest loak is the broody loach's like the maim do yes and loach you know for fat you know the other guy is gonna die as soon as loaq makes friends with the whale and makes and starts talking to the girl you're like oh that kid's gone that kid's fucking gone. I was like, why isn't this older brother finding young love? Tuk is the youngest daughter. Yes. We got a little bit, I think it's not as bad as our last Gleap Glossary entry with that guy that I can't, I won't even pretend to say his name, but

some of these names. Shevon La. Shevonne La, yes. Some of these names get a little bit out there in terms of the phonetics where I'm like, I can't, I kept thinking new Sigourney Weaver's character is Kiri, but they say like, Kiri. I thought her name was Kitty.

like kitty is in like you know like yeah exactly sounds like kitty sometimes sounds like katie sometimes it it's hard to yeah parse i do love natiri here so yes the first like 25 minutes of this movie is jake sully being like since the last time you saw us and he's sort of explaining everything oh god the little league practices you wouldn't fucking believe it and you know it's not just a little league you have to get them bubble gum you have to give them a little icy you got to get him. It's fucking, it's $50 every time I'm going to this place. That would be great if the, instead of this beginning

is like this monologue, as he's telling him about stories and this is the songs, the stories. But if it was just like Jake Sully going to whatever bar, Avatar bar, there is on Pandora, like, meeting up with another dad buddy. And he's just like, so we had the first kid, right? The first one was fine. And then like, we got the other one.

And then Grace, Kiri was around, so we just kind of adopted her anyway. That really sure where she came from, kind of weird, still looking into it. Let me ask you something, though. Do you won't have my job? I can't be the leader anymore. I got to go into witness protection.

Could you take it over for me? I know it's a big ask. I know. Then the big thing, though, is he's like, but also, well, there's this human kid that got orphaned here, and we just sort of started taking care of him. And you've seen the teary, like, not having it. It's so awesome.

She's like, this little rat fucker. I don't want him in my hut. I don't want him near my kids. I don't want them near me. They describe them like a stray cat. Yes. Which is a good descriptor. And this is an interesting thing that he tells us is,

Jake Sully tells us, after the events of the first movie, they kicked all the human beings off the planet, which is really awesome. You see that trail of tears happen. Yes. Those poor men going back to Earth. Dude, it's awesome.

I love just all these fucking huge navvee with machine guns. Like, that's right, bitch. Get the fuck off my planet. It's so awesome. Just walks in the line like, yep. Come on. Let's go. But of course, we left the sun.

the science guy's behind because they've always been kind of like pro-navi the whole time anyway. So you got Joel David Moore who I like as this norm character but he's barely in this movie. I don't know what they're doing there. You know what I mean? They're still working on science. There's more science to be done. Why would you leave

the earth behind and everything you know it's obviously because they have some sexual fetish. It has to be. Right? I mean it's either that or you're doing like a Jane Goodall thing and you're writing this great book. That could be. But and then just I need just that much to give me any purpose for him and the other guy

Dillie Braille, I think his name is. Yeah, the dude from he's in Inception, I think. Oh, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Inception that I think they were like kidnap or whatever. Yeah.

It's kind of funny that he's in this movie. He's a very good actor, but he kind of went away. And it just sort of tells you this is the sequel. Like, back in 2009, that guy was in movies. Back in 2022, it's like, that guy's back. Maybe he's been there the whole time. It's true. Well, it's Joe David Moore as well.

I mean, it's a fucking. the hatchet was the last time I mentioned him. James Cameron accidentally locked the doors on the set and left. They were just there until now. Oh, I guess he's doing a lock-in, guys. Let's go, let's all like, let's have fun here. Let's have fun doing that. Dillie Brown is also really good and drag me

to hell. I don't even remember him being in that movie. I saw that movie one time. He's the fortune teller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what was like, oh, well, at least Norm like has an avatar. Yeah. Lee Brown's character he's just a dude. He's always been a dude. He never had an avatar in the first movie.

like, that's got to suck. I'd be like, listen, if we're going to hang out, can we figure out a way for me to have a fucking Navi body if I got to be here? He just wants to get plowed by the big blue guys. You know what I mean? His fetish doesn't involve having an asshole the size of the

that's true. It's got to be human size. I get it. But then you got to wear a mask like fucking blue velvet while you're getting stuck. Dude, a release machine on this planet. We called it tenant sex. Because it's, the mask is a problem for me, like, why we're like, because even I eat Falco and she says, I'm like, that's it. Earth is over. We're coming here now. And I'm like, but no one can breathe. Is anyone solving that issue? Like, and Spider's like, it's so fun to be in the Navvy. I'm like, it's got to be so annoying to wear this mask all the time. You can't drink. You can't eat. Guess what? Well, that's how bad Earth is. I think. I think that's what we're going to get to in this movie is Earth is a fuck not eat. Wally was a very optimistic view of where we're going. And here we're going to see. That is an interesting point. We haven't. We haven't. seen like the status of Earth.

I think it's bad. Yeah. I mean, yeah, Tropical Paradise Planet, you gotta have a mask on when you're outside. Yeah, I kind of can get out with my... But if Earth has become like, you know, Vader's fucking Mustafa planet, it seems like it's a cool trade on.

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