We Hate Movies - S16 Ep839: The Family Plan 2 (2025)

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

“These movies are not made for audiences.” - Steve, on DTS titles like this On our first episode of 2026 we’re chatting about the direct-to-streaming, holiday-set sequel, The Family Plan 2! Why can’t Wahlberg be icing dudes in this movie? Beyond that great Michael Bay doc that hasn’t come out yet, are we still doing parkour in movies? Should Mark just start doing PVOD Secret Movies? How much of a boost does the on-location shooting give you? Does Kit Harington’s character have an actual plan beyond the vague “power” dream? Why are we cramming Christmas into this film? And doesn’t Michelle Monaghan deserve better than this? PLUS: The Transformers get down with some parkour too! The Family Plan 2 stars Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monaghan, Zoe Colletti, Van Crosby, Reda Elazouar, Sidse Babett Knudsen, Sanjeev Baskar, and Kit Harington as Finn Clarke; directed by Simon Cellan Jones. This episode is sponsored by Lumi Gummies! Lumi Gummies are available nationwide! Go to LumiGummies.com and use code WHM for 30% off your order! Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey, before we get to today's episode on The Family Plan 2, boy, I just wanted to make you hip to a couple of announcements here. First of all, of course, tickets are on sale for the first leg of the 2026 tour. That's right. February 22nd, Los Angeles, we're looking at you. We're going to be back at the Hollywood improv talking Broken Arrow. John Travolta, Christian Slater. It's a good time, y'all. Then on 320, that's March the 20th.

We're going to be making our debut touching down in Minneapolis, Minnesota, y'all. we're going to be at the varsity theater talking Conan the Barbillian. Yes, the 1982 Arnold's classic. We're going to be talking all about the swords, the hair, the beef cakeery. It's going to be a lot of fun. Minneapolis, this is our debut in your town.

We want to see y'all out there. And then just a few days later, just a little bit south on the 22nd of March, Chicago. We're coming back, y'all. We love playing Chicago. We're going to be first time ever playing the Den Theater where we're talking about big. You guys know with what goes on.

in the film Big. We're going to be getting weird at the Den Theater on March 22nd. Don't you worry about that? So again, February 22nd, Hollywood Improv in Los Angeles, California. We're talking Broken Arrow. March the 20th, Minneapolis, Minnesota, at the Varsity Theater. We're talking Conan the Barbarian 1982. And March

the 22nd in Chicago, Illinois, at the Den Theater. We're talking big. That's right. And by the way, speaking of shows, folks, do want to make a hip to the fact that on the 20th of this month, January 20th, it's going to be the January edition of our new AMA chat show, WHM After Dark.

I can't say it's new anymore. We've been doing it since late last year. But the January edition is going to be rocking and rolling live on the 20th. And then on the 30th of this month, dropping the next video podcast of our show, Scareddy Cats. We're talking 28 years later. The Patreon supporters voted for this one. That's a cool thing with Scareddy Cats.

You all, the listeners and the viewers get to help us curate what's going on by doing a poll at the end of each episode. So it was voted 28 years. years later, one of the best movies of 2025. We're going to be talking all about it on Scareddy Cats, which drops January 30th on Patreon, both After Dark and Scarity Cats. Patreon exclusives. Head on over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. All right, that's it for me. I'm going to turn it over to my man, Steve, because he's about to tell you all that the listener request month lines are open and how you can participate in this year's listener

request month shenanigans. Take it away, Steve. Ladies and gentlemen, the listener request Month lines are now officially open. Hi, it's me, Steve, from the We Hate Movies Show. You know me. I'm ugly. What is listener request month you might be asking? Well, it's the one time of the year where you get to tell us what to watch. So, like all preceding January as we've already opened up the WHM request line and it's up

to you to program our entire March schedule. The way this works is you dial 1833-946-4-264 or in a more fun way, 1-833-W-H-M gang and leave us a brief message of one movie you'd like us to cover. Be sure to include your name and where you're calling from to be eligible, and that's only one movie per call. So what's eligible to be called in? Nearly everything, folks, the 10-year rule is off the table. We just need it to be streaming somewhere so that us and other folks can find it.

And just to be clear, the phone lines are open for we hate movies entries only, so it's got to fit in that vague parameter. Also, there's a couple of movies like The Room or Pandemic, that we're never going to do, so don't even bother. Patreon, friends, we'd never forget you. You get to email us directly with your picks. Email WHM Requests at gmail.com to request a we love movies episode. That's a movie you love or think we would love that would make for a fun two-ish hour chat.

For animation damnation, we're going to need the name of a 30-ish-minute cartoon and the specific episode you're talking about as well as where to find it, if it's streaming or a YouTube link, et cetera. We're also taking requests for the Nexus. That's right. So we're opening it up to any and all episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation, The Animated Series, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, or Enterprise. That's exciting, right?

We just need the name of the show and the name of the episode you'd like to be covered. The Gleap Glossary. Do you have a fun Star Wars character you've always wanted to hear us riff on? Let us know. Shoot us an email with the name of the character in question. For all the shows I just mentioned,

that's one email per request. So if you want to request something for each of the four side shows, that's going to be four separate emails with four subject lines that let us know exactly what you're requesting. Please make it easy on us this year. Also, lastly, sorry, no request will be taken from Melro 2 and O, as we kind of have to go in order there. And also, please always leave your name and where you're writing from in these emails. So that's it. So starting now, January the 6th, and ending at 1159 PM EST on January the 20th, we will be accepting

brief phone calls for the We Hate Movies episodes via 1-833-946-4-2-664 or 1833 W-H-M gang and for Patreon requests we're accepting emails via W-HM requests, that's plural, at gmail.com. This is my absolute favorite time of the year because I always love hearing your calls

and reading your emails. You guys are the best. This March, you get to tell us what to watch. Ooh, man. This week on the program, we're back in 2026, and man, Michelle Monaghan deserves better than this. It's the family plan, too. I'm Andrew Juppen. I'm your daughter's parkour flippant boyfriend, Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska, too.

A memorable villain, Leo McCaffrey. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for you tuning into the fine program, as always. Indeed, happy new year, happy 2026, happy month of stuff we watched last year and kicking it off. Yes, that's right. The groans are valid. It's the family plan, too,

directed by Simon Kellyn Jones. He did the first one, and he also did in between these two movies. That Mark Wahlberg dog movie? Hey, it's Arthur the King. We're on a huge walk or something. Oh, no. What was that?

Did you see that, Chris? What was that called? Fetch or something? Arthur the title he actually just said. Arthur the King. Arthur the King. It's sacrilegious to our listeners in the British Isles, of course. true.

Well, you are very respectful of all the time. This is a new leaf. It's 2026, Chris. Oh, is this your resolution that's going to last another 72 hours? Love in the monarchy. Here he comes. No, I'm defending London throughout this episode. Okay.

I skipped Arthur the King. Like, I skip a lot of dog movies because I don't need, sorry, bro. We're going to have to put you down. Oh, yeah. Exactly. Do they inject them? Do they inject them? I don't even like a, I'm so sorry, bro.

He was my best. friend. I don't need any of that shit. Nope. That's the shit that destroys me for weeks on end. And that's why there is a valuable resource, does the dog die.com? Which I have to say, it used to just be like literally what the URL is.

You would go and it would tell you, does a dog die in a movie? But they have now expanded what they're covering on does the dog die.com and it's like what's it say? Does someone have a nightmare? Does a horse die? Is there torture? Is there lightning and thunder?

it's just like all of this fucking all anxieties. Yes. And at that point it's like you got to fucking change the name of your website to fucking trigger warning dot net. Exactly. That's what it is. I did not go to that website but I went to the Wikipedia for Arthur the King and the last line. It's not it's not the last last line but it's very

funny. Arthur collapses on arrival and the veterinarian finds he's severely infected by parasite. Come on. I think that is so funny. It is. I was funny to read it. I don't want to watch it. That's the thing. I don't want to watch it. I don't want to hear about it. I also don't want it's opposite. I do not want the fucking more of like the dogs

cursing, the dogs like farting on things. Dirty dogs or what was that movie? It was like Seth Rogen was a dog that was fucking Strays. That's the one. And Seth Rogen as dirty dog. Wait, strays and fixed. Fixed was, isn't that one animated though? That's the animated one this year. With Chris, they're both the same thing. Yeah, I don't like it. Although, I mean, I believe the the Jamie Fox one, bad

strays or whatever it was strays. Strays. Are they doing the CGI like a dog is talking like a person? Yes, I do think they are. Bone to the chilling. Yes. Yeah, no need. Taco Bell commercials in the 90s were bone shilling. Influential. Deeply influential, it turns out.

Definitely. You know what movie could have used a dog dying or otherwise? The family plan, too. Let's get some of fun in this movie. We're not going to talk about this movie Okay, I'm sorry You need, okay though But you need somebody dying in this movie

Like I get it, it's a family movie But like Mark Wahlberg is a retired assassin I'm sorry, somebody's got to have a fall I'm not saying I want a gun barrel in someone's mouth And you're painting a fucking wall behind him I'm saying like a big fall off the church at the end Like the Joker kills that one guy He does kill one dude in the movie

Which guy gets guys? The dude, the sniper guy Who is like, I don't want to do it, Harry And that he's like, go chain yourself to the wall And then like, you see Omar's face And then the dude's on the floor, I had to do it That's the closest we get. See, man, I've seen this fucking twice now

And both of those times I just thought he like punched him and we didn't see it Like he made the gun Yeah, like that dude pulled the trigger And he made the bullet go up And then Walbert tackled him or whatever. First movie's better. First movie is a lot of guys.

I think there is like action and car crashes that could relate an injury. There is actual action in the first. That is absolutely true. But to your point Andrew, the movie starts inexplicably with a death. It starts with us being

told that Kieran Hyde, who I didn't remember being in the first one at all. He was the father who's is the bad guy, the father from the first one. It turns out he died in prison. This is all we find out in this little opening. It's a Photoshop picture of his head

on some stock photo body. This is, this reeks of the Epstein murder. This guy's not dead. Yeah, absolutely. I was honestly waiting. And so like, spoiler alert, Kieran Heinz's character actually is totally dead in this movie. But I was totally waiting for the,

well, well, well, you finally figured me out, you know, like that kind of thing. Well, no, because it's so funny because it's like just this like insert shot of like a news reporter being like and after the incident in Las Vegas Kieran Heinz is dead and I'm like pardon me he ran a global empire of assassination

and extortion it's just fully on the TV maybe if it was I you know I don't know because we just transitioned to this cocktail bar after that right and I it just does a bar like this exist in Buffalo please write in I thought it was just garbage plates well it's not it's like it goes to black

it's just like I think you're just seeing it as the TV like you're not actually seeing where it is in any way. It's just to literally relay the information that, hey, do you remember Kieran Hines? You don't? Oh, shit. Well, he's kind of part of this. He fucked Kit Harrington's mother and that

a whole thing happens. Because I guess like his death is like the inciting incident of the movie, I guess, because that sort of triggers Kit Harrington into action. I would like someone watching it or witnessing this television, this phantom television that is telling me thing. And here it is. It's the

easiest way to do it, right? It cuts to Mark Wahlberg. He's in the living room in their house in Buffalo, right? He's got the remote and he's like, oh, geez, bro. And then he looks and he's like, oh, no, I'm late for date night. And he's got to rush out of the house and then you can just cut to him scaling the wall of this holiday inn or whatever's going on. You are not Tom Cruise, sir. Nice try.

Yeah, number one. Just. And number one. Number two, a better way to do that even is because it's this fun, in quotation marks moment where he's scrolling like, oh, what's the mission? Oh, it's date night. They're going to fuck. Uh-oh, baby shit. They can't fuck. How about instead of, uh-oh, baby shit, he calls like,

what? What? Oh, my dad died. Oh, yep. And then he's just doing that. That he's harder, that he's harder. Oh, they would still have sex. Like, he hangs up the phone and she's like, oh, should we go? And he's like, I don't think so, baby. Oh, but yes, they get this call. It's never going to go limp again. It'll never go limp again ever once.

As he's, as he's scaling, he sees this fat dude. with a big whiskey half naked in a hotel. That is me in exactly 40 days when we're on tour. That is exactly me. This guy's looking like, oh man, I was just about to you know, whip it out to

whatever lifetime movie I'm watching on hotel TV. Nice. And you know what? I don't appreciate it. He looks at him like he's weird and I'm like, no, he's doing what you're supposed to be doing in a hotel room. Exactly. He's naked in a bed, jerking off, and drinking whiskey. That is what you are supposed.

to do when you were in a hotel. Walberg is like a peeping time here, like going, what can I see, bro? Let's check. Let's check. Let's, what's going on on the next floor? And, you know, in a better written movie with a, I'm sorry, just with a better lead, like, in that moment, the character, Dan Morgan would say something.

There would be a grip there. Walberg just looks at this guy and then just keeps going. And I'm like, missed opportunity for something. They're like, have a fun night, buddy, or anything. Yes, exactly. I totally forget the entirety of the first one. I remember being better than this because it almost have to be. It has to be funnier, too, because this movie is, like, dead on arrival in terms of, like, even, like, baby family comedy ways.

It's got, yeah. There's no jokes, no set setups. Like, it's just, like, it leans into the bad action of it all, which is not a great idea. No. But the first movie had some good action, like, that van, they're on the run, and there's the slow. It's right. And I think maybe we made fun of this when we talked about it, but I guess this one being so much more lackluster

than it makes the first one look a little better in my, in my rose-colored glasses or whatever. But don't they do the Enya bit? And it's like, oh, right, yes. And it's like slow-mo and the baby's laughing at all the guns. At least choreographed. They're doing a lot of that music stuff that you,

they tease it with the unbelievable bit in the beginning of this. There's a lot of that in the first one I remember. and I think just generally like there was just an article I forget where it was I think it was your variety or Hollywood report somebody just wrote an article about how like Mark Wahlberg is like quietly making so much fucking money off of being like just a little bit better than DTV kind of stuff just like a little minuscule inch above that and you can just wipe out you can do crazy money off of that Chris you're just giving me a vision of the future that I want to be in so much him and some of those crazy secret movies would be very fun for me. This feels like the most official you can get before you do something like that. It's so plain.

This is exactly the future that everybody's barreling towards with the end of cinematic exposition because these movies are not made for audiences. You know what I mean? Like when you would make a movie like this, you would think like, what's the big laugh line? What's the big reveal? How is

this going to play in a theater? What's the big gasper that's going to get And then you even like, we, we, uh, pooh that too. But you, even like, uh, what do you call that? They're, um, exhibitions, uh, the car, you, you watch the movie and you get a card. Uh, get a movie pass. No, no, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the showings of when you, you, you give notes to the studio shows where you get, oh, like, test screening? Test screening is the word. I couldn't get it.

But even test screenings, like, that's, how is this going to play in a room with a lot of people? This, it doesn't matter. making, we're just making gray nonsense to put on your TV and have your iPad out. Maybe it's a family night. You're saying no iPads, but everyone's on their iPads in 30 minutes because the movie's dire. The data told you. The data told you what you need to know already. We have all the data.

It's in a bank. We're checking it all the time. You don't need to know anything else. Don't worry about it. Just look at all that and make your movie from that. That's all you got to do. It's 100 minutes with celebrities you've seen. That's it.

I don't care what it is. Just give you 100 minutes for quarter. three with celebrities you've seen. Feel free to use the bathroom, the motion picture on your TV. Get right up. You know what? Don't bother pausing it. We haven't written anything fucking interesting for the next 20 minutes.

I'll tell you you can just go. What is interesting is this baby barf. My God, we've got to go through this. Kyle calls his parents. You guys have to stop having sex in the hotel. There's a problem. The baby puked. He's got a puked up Gatorade Cheerios and carrots.

This big clump of art It's a lot It's like three times the size of this kid This kid's going to the hospital I don't know what's going on It's a huge puke I think you know Some fucking ribs came up too

But also Walberg against this was like Uh buddy it's date night What is it? And I'm like Kyle even though he's 18 Should not know what date night is Absolutely not Like Kyle we're away

You know We're on vacation Also you're a young kid I don't know text your parents You know Are you really calling them When you know your dad's out. I think this is a thing, though, unfortunately, where, like, you're going to get down

in that hotel room, fine. You're not staying there, though. They're coming back that night. I feel it. I fucking feel it. They're going to be back by 1030 anyway. Uh, so yeah, no fucking tonight, whatever. Yeah, we are then just in the car later. We redo, yes, we're doing EMF's unbelievable. And we're all singing along. I don't remember what the one was in the first movie, but it's like the parents singing and the kids are humiliated and then everybody's into it it's like literally just

the same dude I think wrote the first one like you're just fucking copy pasting so many gags here David Coggsall the kid who is a cute baby in the first movie is now like a weird toddler

and like stops the movie dead air even as much as you possibly can awkward is Santa gonna know if daddy was a murderer here's the thing dude I'll take it

I'll take every little line little thing that this kid has because the opposite of that is like he's getting in on the plan and all of a sudden there's a baby with a machine gun for some reason and I'm like I don't think so I'd rather watch a dog die than this kid so there's also these shots of this kid Max also known as Maxi in this movie of him admiring and looking at Omar with his partner. core skills. Just these reactions shots of a baby that doesn't know where he is supposed to be in awe of something. It's just disturbing to me. That's what like babies do. Babies are constantly in awe of everything because they don't know what anything is.

Don't like that. A baby is like just pure awe for its first like, I don't know, two, three years of life. And super jumping is one of their favorite things in the world. Super jumps do great with kids. And I think that's why he takes to Omar so quickly is because it's super jumps. Hey folks, this episode on The Family Plan 2 is brought to you by Loomy Gummies.

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Listen, Loomie Gummies are available nationwide. Go to Loomigmys.com. That's L-U-M-I-M-E-M-A. gummies.com and use code W-H-M for 30% off your order. Again, that's L-U-M-I-Gummies.com, code W-H-M. Loomigmys.com, code W-H-M. That stands for We Hate Movies. It's odd because it's a movie in the year 2025

that's still using parkour as if that's a new cool thing. Well, that's a thing. They should have, they needed to get the, the Michael Bay doc to play before this came. That's what they need. They had to push it before that. And then we would have had something here.

Otherwise, I'm with you. No, Chris, I think you're totally right because if you put that movie out before, it's so goddamn good that people are going to be like kind of interested in it again.

And then when you see Omar who, it's a character, we haven't even met yet, but it's the daughter's boyfriend. When he's doing it, you'd be like, oh yeah, like the Michael Bay movie. Michael Bay brought back parkour.

And you'd be like, oh, okay. This I'm like, oh yeah like in that fucking bond movie 20 years ago is that movie just like not coming out what is happening with we are store the michael bay uh park court documentary andrew and i saw it at south by southwest and it was awesome it's maybe one of my favorite uh bay is now i don't know i haven't heard anything about anybody picking it up it's a real goddamn shame that's for sure they should they absolutely i really want to see it and like otherwise i'm just like oh yeah remember district b13 everybody That cool parkour movie? I'm now Michael Bay and Parkour. What if the Transformers were doing parkour? Please.

That would decimate a whole city. They kind of do that and the buildings do fall down. They're jumping on the tops of all those buildings and I'm like, hey, terrorism. Look at this cool, sick double flip. Oops, sorry about your art museum. Oh, my God, my ankle. My ankle. My ankle.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Yeah, so we're singing EMF on the way to Thanksgiving. We got all these rotten-ass cousins making a big pitcher and ngronies for me ma here. I kind of like that, actually. I was like, ooh, man, nigroney's, pitcher and ngronies at Thanksgiving, sign me up. But I mean, I know when you're young, when your kid like Kyle here, I know he's like 18 or something, or the character is or whatever. And, you know, you haven't come into yourself yet.

You don't really know. You got to figure it out, kid. You can't just be throwing a giant bag of ice on some knives. You got to have some spatial awareness. Oh, right, he almost murders his Mee Maher right here. The knife goes flying and we get the great, the great music cue up here of Walberg catching the knife to, oh, you're unbelieveable. And nobody acknowledges Mee Maugh almost lost her life. I would have loved to see this old lady get a knife in the hand.

Then we can just deal with the consequences of that for the rest of the movie. Because, I mean, the first movie had the true lisey kind of thing of like, Wait, you could do all this crazy stuff. Dad's just a mild-mannered, whatever. And it's just totally gone, and therefore the engine of the movie is totally gone. And like sequels like this, you know, when something happens to like a group of characters, like in the first movie, like this kind of original, the first movie specifically. The second one generally is like, we actually learn to like the thing that terrorized us throughout the whole first movie. And we're all doing spy shit.

That's why the date night thing is. annoying because at the beginning of it we glossed over but it's a lot of like did you get the package i'm into the room execute the plan like they're doing spy role play and at first you're like oh cool they've sort of adopted that kind of a life interesting all right the cool turn for this movie nope just role play for for sex or whatever instead see the first movie it's like oh my god dad's a secret hit man special agent whatever yeah this michel monahan is a secret track and field coach yeah she's got a secret job offer that she's uh sitting on here. This poor bastard

daughter who does not come to Thanksgiving and it's just like, I'm studying abroad, it's great. It's like, well, you go to call for Thanksgiving. All right, I'll call for Thanksgiving. She does the FaceTime at dinner, at dinner. She's looking at everybody. She's like, everyone's You've synced a meal.

You've synced a meal. And then later, I'm guessing like we're doing, like, it's like, oh, mom, here's, here's whatever, what, beansie or whatever the girl's name. Nina. Nina. here's Nina, she's on the phone for you. So this girl, I think, has been going one-on-one with everybody.

Oh, grandma, talk to Beinsie. Oh, yeah. So Uncle Reg is going to do it. Oh, dude, that's all day. Have you guys ever done this? Oh, I do this. Yeah, this is every Christmas with certain family members. Are you serious?

You like FaceTime the family and pass it around? Not FaceTime. I will never do FaceTime. Yes, I've never done FaceTime in my life. You know what's funny? He's even during COVID, I called my mom and dad, and I was just like, Well, you know, we could talk on the phone or face something. They said, no, we're busy.

We're busy. We're busy. Yeah, I mean, that's why it's like I try to angle it. So it's like, I'm going to call when I know like the group gathering has not happened yet or is over with. That's the move. Because there's been a couple of years where I call and it's like, oh, we're at your uncle's house. We just got here. And then it's like, you're passed around.

That phone goes to 20 people. And I'm like, I got like. sentences to say to most of you like I can we all fucking and they're the same two sentences how are you what's going on you know so can we get everybody together I'll ask all at once I am so relieved most of my family

is dead or don't talk to me so relieved I've never had to deal with that many people oh no man I in Germany I had to do it once my mom was on it was her and her all her brothers and sisters that's seven altogether of them and you were in Germany right I was in Germany and they called me while they were in North Carolina all together

and they were all sloshed. Oh, now we're talking about hammered. And I got, I was on the fucking phone for 45 minutes with these drunk fucking maniacs. And it's, you know what, that's the best case scenario, Eric. Otherwise, it's very boring being like, oh, yeah, you know, nope, the radio show on the internet is going very well still. It's going very well. The trick is there.

You got to get drunk too, Chris. yeah i should you know i should do that today for me one of the uh all right one of the uh ongoing gags in this movie that's also an ongoing gag in the first one is the city of buffalo eating shit throughout the entire screenplay yeah and like right here is uh like uh yeah michel monahan talking about like being offered the job at ohio state whatever and just like she's talking to uh nina about it because nina's kind of chastising like jesus you didn't tell him yet blah blah blah and he's like she goes goes, well, you know how your dad feels about Buffalo?

And they both exchanged this like, yeah, it fucking sucks. Kind of like facial expression back and forth. Oh, my God. But yeah, so she's got like a little bit of imposter syndrome about the job, worried that, you know, she's not going to be able to deal with all these athletic directors and coaches and staff. And she's worried that the family's going to get lost along the way. Well, don't worry.

We're not going to talk about it at all. It's going to be the Mark Wahlberg show for the rest of the world. Absolutely. Absolutely. She's a beautiful specimen. In the intervening years. I think it's probably at the end of the first one. He's opened a private security company.

That's the end of the first movie. It's like, you don't have to sell certifying pre-owned cars anymore. You're going to open a security firm and you're a huge success. Yes. And he's huge success and he goes in. He's like, wow, that was crazy. It was a crazy Thanksgiving. Do we have anything in England?

Because I'm just like up to my tits and fucking job office right now. FedEx? Oh, God. No, I don't want that. That sounds like something that would get me involved with the corporation that would want consistent work. I don't want anything like that. Why don't I go the fancy schmancy route that allows me

to stalk my daughter a little bit? Just a little bit. I hate this. I hate what movies do it. And I guess people do it in real life. Do not surprise your daughter some or do not follow her to Europe. I'm talking to you, Jay Kelly. You know what, though? Here's the thing, dude. At least in this movie, she knows they're fucking

coming. Jay Kelly, he's like, oh, we're both on this train. Isn't that weird? That's real stalker shit. at least exchanged a phone call that we don't see but like yes she is aware but man even still you're right though eric because she is like when they get to the hotel she's like uh or when they get to her apartment rather she's like uh i thought we were meeting at the hotel much later than this like that's a popin that's an international popin because what's just happened you can't just do it i i'm i'm i'm busy with something you don't want to see more than likely either that's

masturbating or eating in a way that you don't want to see what we drinking in a way you don't want to see you. Exactly. Playing video games half naked. These are all things that I'm doing when you're not around. She answers the door and Omar is still dripping down her leg. Yes. Having fucking God decimating sex in the

shower is what you're supposed to be doing and fucking goddamn parents are like we're here a couple hours early. Oh, I'm going to beat you up. Oh, wait. Actually, Omar came. Omar came. Omar came all over your daughter. We need to speak to the semiotics of we're getting

in the plane. We're excited that it's, we're going to London and it's like fancy, nice Buckingham Palace. We're doing the Oh, Mother's all, Merry Christmas. That whole song is going. It's very light and orchestral. And then, uh-oh,

we're going to the wrong side of London. Boom, do to do. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Christmas. Oh, bro. This looks like it's a, this is what he says, a little bohemian. neighborhood. You know what that means people of color as far as the I can see

Mark Wahlberg? Scary. A problem neighborhood, Brick Lane, of course. Very problem. Really? When we were in England, I was just there like six months ago. It's awesome there. There's great food and like really cool stuff to do. But Steve, on behalf of Mark Wahlberg's character,

Dan, may I volley back? Christmas. I'm going to tell you something, bro. I saw a man tried to give me a Vindaloo and I nearly shit my pants. I said, Vindaloo, Vindahoo, get the fuck out of here. I loved London. I mean, what are people even talking about?

You want more white people? They're out. Oh, no, thank you. There are, like, very white areas of London, but you got to fucking explore. You know what I mean? Like, it's fine. This isn't like that Hugh Grant-Julia Roberts movie I slept through. I guess it's good to know that even in England and all these other places,

they're still conservatives, afraid of cities that have sidewalks. Of course they're on, dude, yeah. They even show there's like an insert shot of like someone doing street art at that moment. And they're like, right, that's where she lives. These kids, your daughter leaves you. And then she's going to be with Omar, if you know what I mean. There's like a, um, some sort of like graffito tag like on the door of her building. Yeah.

And they walk in and he goes, I think our daughter's a squatter. Uh-huh. Oh, man. And so the kid, so they get in there and this is, I said, did you see a zip tie? Was there a zip tie? We got to go. Michelle, we got to go now. I saw this in the sound of freedom, bro.

Wish I could have produced that one. It was super successful. They human trafficked, Goober. Let's make more money off this grift I got going. Oh, no, Gover got human trafficked. Who would have wanted him? That's crazy. Goob, you're gone.

I'm going to call Jim Caviziel, and I'm going to get him to get Goober back. Guba kept saying he wanted to go to the supermarket with me, and that was like, Guba, you got to stay home. And now look what happened to Guba. Okay. All right. So the last thing he was wearing. It was a red socks hat and Larry Bird jersey, but he's fat. And it's like kind of hunched up around his belly. He's going to wear a t-shirt underneath it. And then he's too stupid to know what human traffic means. So there he's just like, they turned him into a car. They put wheels on Goober and we're running down the street. They made him a traffic piece. Oh, no. I told him not to leave, but I told him to keep his hand in my hand the whole time and he let go. And it just turned in the rear view mirror all of a sudden. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Kidnapper who I have on the phone right now. You listen here. You better be an innocent Vietnamese grocer. And if you are, I got a special set of skills that you're going to not look forward to. What was that? What was that cartoon where the guy turned into a car? What was that? What was that? It was a old ass cartoon. Oh, I remember what you're talking about. There was a weird one from the set. Not Transformers. It was a dude, like a 70s hip dude. My father in the car. Is that it? Turbo team. Turbo team. I've never heard of this. I don't think. Oh, it's beautiful. beautiful looking. We should do this on animation damnation sometime. We should.

It doesn't seem to be streaming anywhere, but we'll figure it. We'll make it stream. We will. Yeah. It'll be there. But so I do like this gag of the brother Kyle has to take a wicked piss and he runs into the bathroom where the shower is still running and he's taking a leak and he goes, hey little Ms. Greenpeace

you left the shower running because like Nina's this big environmentalist or whatever and then like there's like scuttling behind this curtain and he starts freaking out and then yeah, here's this fucking huge hot dude Omar coming out of the shower. And here's the brother pissing himself all over his fucking

sister's apartment. He immediately, I'm like, sorry, you know, it's even funnier. It's funnier if it's awkward and he has to sit there and finish the piss while Omar is coming out and like having to dry and shit. And he's just like, uh, yeah, I have, oh, fuck, okay. It would be really great.

He gets spooked, right? He's taking a piss. He gets spooked. He turns toward the source of the movement, which is Omar in the shower. And he's pissing on him. And he's pissing on him. And he's pissing the

shower. He's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, later on, he says, you know, I'm sorry. And Omar goes, it's okay, my friend. It's all pipes. Well, I was just curious, and he's pissing on him. Is he her brother or is he her stepbrother? How does this one start? Oh, yeah. They're, there's, wait, who's step?

There's no, I'm just curious, is somebody going to get stuck or what? How am I going to get? Oh, that's what? I think he would be the stepbrother, and it's also the boyfriend. Got it. Okay. She gets trapped under the, probably in the bedroom, like trying to get something under the bed. That doesn't get stuck. Yeah.

Dude, when Omar walks out of the shower and Walberg just grabs him by the neck. Dude, throat grab. Throat grab. That's insane. Push them right up against the fucking wall.

Who's this? And she's like, that's my boyfriend. And he even just, I was surprised this in the movie because he goes, but he's, he's, and then like,

I think somebody, Michelle Monaghan. He interrupts him or something. Michelle Monaghan goes, he's ripped. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is.

We got Mommy want to fuck Omar. two. Oh, yeah. But I don't think that he was commenting on his Viseek. He was commenting on his appearance, but not his physique is my guess. He's he's, he's, he's, he's, he's brown. Exactly. We're going for.

But hey, Eve, he makes your daughter have a shower in her pants. He makes your wife have a shower in her pants. Yeah, you should be thanking this man. Jessica even says later when they're walking through a Christmas market, he's a major upgrade from Trevor. Take that dude from the first movie. He's really hot. She keeps

emphasized. I think that's odd, and that would make me severely uncomfortable. Yeah. Now, here's the thing. He gets one off, by the way. He doesn't get to complete the sentence with a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a. But there is another moment here. If you catch what he's saying. Uh-huh. Because it's like, yada, yada,

you know, maybe he'll come back to Buffalo with beans or whatever. To which Walberg says that that doesn't make any sense because why would Omar come to Buffalo when Omar doesn't like snow. You see what's going on?

See what's going on with the hero of this film? That's pretty weird. Yeah. Yep. That's what's going on. We're talking to the dads of America right now. Could you believe it? You know there's mountains in other countries too?

Would you know about that? Don't lie to me like this. Some places I also have snow. That's awesome. Don't lie to me on a show on the internet, Eric. It's not fun. I would never tell you. Oh, I. So, yeah, it's a big fucking freak out. And they just suggest let's just like go our separate ways for the day, try to get this jet lag off. You know, Mark Wahlberg, you can prepare for your big business meeting tomorrow. We get to the next morning. You got Michelle Monaghan putting on some sexy reindeer antlers here. And she's like all cutly like, cheerio mate and whatever. And I'm like, Mark Wahlberg, you better miss this business appointment, dude. Like, I don't know what else has to be put down in front of you here, my friend. But here's the thing that he's doing in this.

movie that I feel like if you're going to do it do it dude but like stop telling everybody about it he's basically and he starts with like in his office he says it multiple times before they leave and now he says it again here this whole idea of like this whole Christmas is being paid for by his security firm because it's a business expense and I'm like I don't know man I mean pay for like your flight and like you know some expenses for you but like you're bringing your fucking family man that's your own dime this is fraud that's that like I'm Who is the partner in this? Who backed you?

Exactly. You didn't just build this on your own. Well, we find out later that his crooked dad had $500 million. Maybe he had a little bit of that. Probably a little bit of that. Maybe a little bit of that. It's also so strange. Like his whole character in this, again, like, we lost a true Lisey part of it.

So now he is just Clark W. Griswold. Like, the family needs to be together for Christmas. That is his entire motivation, this entire movie. like, well, we can't go get lunch separate places. We gotta have Christmas together. And what's really funny, too, is like, because this movie is shoehorning in this whole Christmas thing, and it's like so beyond obvious that you can smell,

the first draft of this movie had no Christmas in it, right? So what this movie has to do is, like, you're doing your big, you know, spy adventure, and you're getting chased by all these assassins. And then, like, every, it's like, I don't know, the movie's like an hour and 46 minutes. every like 15 minutes or so there is just a quick stop in the action

and it's like oh boy this is so crazy let's go have some quiet Christmas fun for a minute and they just go do like a Christmas activity and I'm like no no there's assassins why are you taking a break

he keeps on having to remember this is supposed to be a Morgan Christmas a big Morgan Christmas celebration that's what it's supposed to be and you got to remind that because otherwise we're just being told like oh, now we're going to London. Now we're going to France.

Oh, we're running now. Oh, yeah. So this Nina here gets to the hotel, drops off some coffee. She's like, I'm going to take the boys to the park and whatever. And she realizes, you know, that still Michelle Monaghan has not told Walberg about this job opportunity. So she's like, you're going to fucking sit you dumb ass down and figure out how to tell my father that you're moving to Ohio. You get it? And like, she walks out and I'm like, if I ever, like, demanded.

that one of my parents told the other parent something or like made any kind of demand like that. Dude, Christmas in the street, I'll tell you right now. I'd rather be in the Christmas in the street and with my family. He does go to this big bank, this fake big bank, and he is met by, unfortunately, Kit Harrington. Oi, that this is a, we could just call it on it, right?

We could just say we tried, it worked out. No, Judy's going to be, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. He's going to be that night character. in that new Marvel movie and everybody's going to give a shit and it's going to make a billion dollars your fucking face will be red

that's like the going to be the seventh little teaser at the end of Doomsday is that the night guy is coming The Black Knight is his character He has Eternals? Is that right? Yes, he is the Stinger and the only appearance sadly

of Mahersha Ali and the MCU up to this point is him being like Dane Wickman here is this cool sword that you'll never get to use. But if I'm remembering that right, though, like, it's just a voice. Like, we don't, you don't see him as blade in that movie. I think you do, or maybe you don't. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I think it's a voice, because I remember thinking, like, is that even Mahershala? Or is it someone just doing a blade voice? FYI, he is not listed, at least on IMDB in Avengers Doomsday, which has the most characters in it of all time because no one could possibly give a shit about Kit Harrington playing the black night. But I just think it's so cool when

I see like 10,000 things that I know. Yeah, it's great. It's all the guys. I love point in it stuff. But yes, so we go into this bank. This is the big meaning. Dan has to test the security system for this bank. He meets, we're told at the time,

Aiden Clark, this is, yes, Kit Harrington. And it's basically like, oh, so you just want me break into your bank right now, bro? Yeah, sure, let's go. And, like, oh, like that movie sneakers? Oh, I love that movie, bro. Oh, my God, bro. I love that. Robin Redford's best performance, bar none. Oh, my God, bro. Dan Aykroyd, legend, bro, in that movie. What, you have a gun? Yeah, I'd rather be watching. If they, like, instead of a Christmas movie, they were just straight up, like, we need to make family plan two more like the film sneakers. I'd be like,

Yeah, sure. Sure, complete with Dan Aykroyd. Why the hell not? Get him in here. Get him in here. Get mother in here. So, you know, Dan a little bit high on his own supply when he starts, you know, this meeting here, you know, doesn't sense right away that this dude's playing him, I don't think. But he's like got this little RF frequency thing and he like copies this woman's key card and we're walking in, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. While this is happening, we do cut back to the hotel room really quickly and you see someone going room service at the door and Jessica, Michelle on a hand being like, oh, but I already ate and she opens the door and there's like, the reaction is supposed to be not like a recognition, but like a, oh boy, here we go. And so Walberg going back

to the bank here. Oh, now we've got to go in the safety deposit room, okay, sure. This one, bro, I didn't use any fancy gadgets to get in. Little paper clip action. I'm a fucking spy. Ooh. He breaks in. Nice. And it's a, you know, oh, you

first, Mr. Kit Harrington. Get in there. And he fucking gets this dude in a headlock, like, all right, what's going on here? That fucking guy outside didn't recognize you? The sexy lady upstairs didn't recognize you? And he's up to this point been doing his normal British accent, Kit Harrington accent. And then he's like, surprise, I'm a surprise Irishman. I've been taking Colin Farrell classes for two weeks. And this is the best I can do. dude john snow turns into the lucky charms leprechaum it's fucking ridiculous so bad everyone should have just said nah kid it's totally fine he's just british it's great yeah you could it's just grown up in england or something you know just a little you change a few lines of dialogue and then

you know oh here's that photo of that day you and me as kids but then i went to go live in england and then you went to go live in fucking paris apparently oh sure you know i know i know you insist but really. I just think you should you should just go with the British. Ha! Tatar, we'll be doing it tomorrow. It's tough, man. It is funny, though, like, now that you get this more information about

Walberg's past, right? Like, it's even funnier now, with all we know about him, that this guy, Dan, whatever, sounds like Mark Wahlberg. Like, you grew up with, like, a

British nanny and her British son and you know on the you always go to this beach house you know in England or whatever and then then we learn on top of that with your Irish father by the way you grew up in Paris with your Irish father your British South Asian

Butler and then all these fucking French people around you and somehow after all that growing up you sound like Mark Wahlberg it doesn't make any a lick of not even a little bit of sense you're still Buffalo oh wait not Boston I mean but it is I'm sorry

he's will hunting without the special powers that's like it but he's like oh yes he he doesn't reveal who he is yet he's like but you're gonna finish this because I've got you wife in trouble don't I that's amazing this photo of her just looking upset to be in the movie I love it yeah yeah no but he he lets it all slip right oh does he okay yeah because he's like all right take the safety deposit box out he pulls a gun on Walberg Walberg opens it up. It's like a jump drive that's shaped like a key and it's, you know, this will access all of Kieran Heinz fortune and connections and technology and bank accounts or whatever. And then this is where he busts out. By the way, we're half brothers. Our father never let me use his name. Our father banged the maid and that's how I'm here. All this shit. And his whole threat is, you're going to get me out of here, you know, and then I'll let your family go whatever. But if you like pull anything, I'm just going to tell everybody all the nasty shit you did for my father

and so you're going to go down for way longer than what I'm going to try to make you go down for which is just this fake robbery and he makes him like Walberg hold a gun to him and they walk out together or whatever because that's his ice man ask the serial killer not the superhero

right the ice man ask those ice man tapes that's what Mark Wahlberg was like three years before he had met Michelle Monaghan. He was just putting people in fucking drum barrels and like laughing when rats eat them. Like this is what he was up to. Yes. Right. I remember that rat eating thing. That's pretty cool. That fucking documentary is totally terrifying. And that guy's, that guy was real, not just a tall tale. No, he's a real dude. That guy's on camera telling what he did. Well, I could say the same thing. Hey, yeah, I fed a guy to rats. Yeah, you know, but here's the thing, dude. No one would believe you.

you hear you hear this guy tell it no you hear this guy tell it dude he he'll teach you how to sell here's the thing if you want to try you got to watch this movie first and that guy yeah then we took him down to the crick and we put him in the cave rats ate him see how about that I wasn't chilled to my bones because one of the one of the things about it is like he's sort of like gleeful with it he's like and then these rats started eating the body and he's like okay um so yeah Mark Wahlberg. Now this is crazy. So like Kid Harrington gets away in a car

all these cops are coming to this fake bank robbery that's happened well I guess technically it's a real robbery but Wahlberg's being framed for it and Walberg refuses to put this gun down and then they throw Michelle Monaghan like out of a car and they have this is actually I think kind of interesting

like duct taped this gun to her hand. Pretty hilarious but she doesn't stop to undo the duct tape. They're waving these guns around and she's like, oh, this one's taped to my hand. I'm like, well, get tugging! I'm sorry, but that's a Morgan family rule. Once you

touch a gun, you have to keep holding it until all the danger has settled. I see. Only then can you let play it as it lies. Yeah, it's like... Right, right, right. So, you know, they're on the run for it. I will say I do like this little bit of camera movement here. They run down

an alley and the cops are coming. They duck into the backdoor of this pub and the camera kind of follows them in pretty kinetically comes right into fairy tale of New York is playing very cool little moment here but then this is like okay what are we going to do we're

in this pub we're laying low we don't run to the bathroom and get this gun off my wife's hand we steal this woman's purse throw the contents out on the floor so she can stick the hand and the gun in the bag this is just dumb if you're doing that

I want a fun action scene that she shoots someone through the purse or something It would be funny. Yep, exactly. But I guess they wouldn't give her bullets, but maybe he could lend her. Figure it out right in your goddamn movie, not me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, once you have a gun, you can't let it go.

I mean, it's like a video game. Once you have that thing, you don't want to let goes because you could use it. Once you find the bullets, you can use it. Well, the kids are in the park, you see, because that's what we got to get back to the baby shit. And Max is being taught by Omar, how to do parkour or climb a tree or something. it's really good tree climbing. Yeah. And then Kyle's got these shitting,

because remember, I'm 18 years old then I should be at a gaming convention right now. Oh, I don't know. You're 18 years old. You're barely anything. Yes. And he's like insulting Omar, like finally, Max found someone on his level. Oh, right, yeah.

Am I crazy? Didn't he like win some big gaming tournament in the last one? Correct. Yeah. Okay. We already went through your shit, man. I know. We don't need it. Exactly. Not every movie needs to be you proving how gaming is actually a thing to your father. And also like something.

You don't do this. Like when in the first movie like she's like probably 17 or 18 and he's probably like 15 or 16. That's when you're doing snipey brother sister nonsense. When you're 18 and she's 20 something, it's like hey, that's gone. Yeah. Yeah, cool.

You're either closer or not and that's kind of just what it is. Well, that's, I think some siblings do just kind of dig in into the like prodding you thing because that's the only thing they know. I've definitely no siblings who act like that well into their 30s. Yeah, you're doing a podcast with one right now. Whoa.

Yeah, you take the piss out of them a bit, don't you? It's a family of ball busters, man. And we just continue to loudly ball bust and snipe and yell. I mean, you know, it's loud holidays at my house. I only ball bust comfort in my own home, door closed. Yeah. It's nice of you. Busting your own balls?

that I don't know who's balls he busted yeah whatever's available him to me yeah and then we put the rats on the ball

see so the laugh see that's chilling right the laugh is what makes it chilling and I take the balls and I put the rats on them

kill the rats the ball rats we kill all they run into this park here and you know because the Nina has spoken

to Mark Wahlberg on the phone she's like there's trouble like dad trouble like Vegas trouble and then Kyle's on this bench going looks like we got ourselves a sequel let's go yeah and we're just all running

and it's like who's after us now that's your uncle we have an uncle blah blah blah blah blah yeah it's sequel sequel sequel sequel yeah and you know I have no like Kit Harrington whatever I don't have a problem with it he's not good I mean but if you want you're doing this big turn of an uncle with Mark Wahlberg

I feel like it should be someone like a bigger name something more I think people might have passed is my guess. Oh, I think a lot of people passed. Yeah. Because I just, I agree. Because when that chair spins around, it's like, well, I'm your uncle, you want that to

be like, oh shit. Right. Right. Yeah, because you imagine like Jason Statham or something. Yeah, that'd be great. Oh, it's my big brother, bro. He would overtake the movie maybe. Yeah, that's all that. Yeah. I just want a bigger presence

of some kind. Maybe that's the Wahlberg thing, though, is like nobody that's going to outshine me, bro. Get one of those Game of Thrones losers. They don't have careers. I'm surprised though that he, well, I guess because it's Apple. Because I mean, he's, he's good buddies with Mel. Why not get

Uncle Mel in on this? You already did a family movie with the guy. Daddy's home too. So why not? And other, oh, that father stew thing, which is, a fever dream from hell. Oh, is Bigot Mel? Is Bigot Mel also in that?

Yeah. Bigot Mel is very, big in Father Steau. Is he Cardinal Stu? He's the, whatever the stew was before Stu, he was that. He died on his roof on Christmas and then he put on the uniform and became Father Stu. He puts the fucking

purple, the purple fucking cloth around him. And probably the biggest movie Walberg was in this year was that stupid flight risk movie, right? Or whatever it was. Is that only here's a question, a serious question. Is that movie,

him tofer grace and who's the woman in it from downtown abbey yeah lady mary from downton abbey is Michelle dockery thank you is that the only theatrically released movie that Mark Wahlberg was in this year probably because that other what was the movie he did

with the Keith that just came out on prime Spencer for hire where he shoots Mark Wulbert Mark Cuban in the chest which is pretty cool what note to self tune in to Spencer for hire that's just been like that clip has been going around chris you've said it's been awful so i didn't never watch it but it's just like you're talking about play dirty play dirty i'm sorry there it is

play dirty which was on amazon streaming it was a shame black movie yes because that's i did see that um not not great but you know it's shame black trying to make those swings but he can't do it with those budget constraints and it's just not there yeah i'm sure i was shocked i was like i was shame black i got i got a good movie coming here it's fucking nothing man it really pissed me on. It's, Mulberg really does fucking sink some ships. He will do it. Uh, this is, they get on a, a big red

bus here to escape. And this is, I mean, this is a fun action sequence. I will give this movie this. Uh, which is an, I think an Apple, uh, like, mandate, which is good, which is like, we're just going to actually film on location. Like, I've seen a lot of these Apple movies. Yep. Good, bad, or

otherwise, it's like, we're just, we are going to show you stuff from around the world. And that's, which is, which is, which is, nice yeah i like that that is i mean i thought the movie was you know super entertaining on its own but the fact that that um the fountain of youth movie from earlier this year that's an apple movie yeah yeah they fucking filmed at all those places man and you could see if you were watching that movie and it's just donnell gleason in front of a green screen like we have to get down into the cave you'd just be like well this is nothing but like man yeah on location makes

shit better and here even when you know some of this bus stuff is CGI but it is stunt guys on the top of a red double decker bus going through London like and I'm sitting there again just watching it just a little while ago like yeah this movie sucks but like I'm looking at real shit and hey

points for real shit frankly as you know as dire as that sounds not points for dialogue we got Kit Harrington here being like you gave everything away that dad wanted for what to raise pimple covered brats pimpled covered brats comes up a few times

It doesn't feel like it rolls off the tongue That, no, none of it is just And also the kids are like Their complexions are fine If it was like a real nerdlinger Yeah, you know, pizza face or whatever He's a nerdlinger, I would say that But he's not a pizza face nerdlinger

Greasy, you need to grease your face That's what you need. Oh my God, you're greasy Stop it on Because he's got the, Mark Wall Hallberg still has the key. We do have a macuffin of this, or at least the beginning of the movie,

which is the key, which also probably, if we're making a real movie, needs to be like a terror device. If he gets it, half the world, not even half the world, there's a dirty bomb or something or like,

it's a list, a knock list of sorts. Because people will be in danger. A ticking clock of him inheriting a crime syndicate is not exciting. No, it's not. All it is is he's just doing what happens a lot of the time now. unfortunately when people pass away

you got to figure out their passwords to things and what did dad do? How did dad pay this bill? How did dad's bill? Like it's just unlocking a dead relative's paperwork is the thrust of a lot of this movie. The key, he knocks the key off

and you know, that gets rid of Kit Harrington for a while. We're on the run. We go to this Chinese restaurant and this is like this dude Xi Mu who's some old contact of marks from back in the day. dad calm down why are you so pissed off just because we're what what you're vibrating what the hell's wrong with you when he comes in he's like oh good to see you jimu any chance you may still have

my bag this dude's like oh man mark walberg back in my restaurant I feel like at some point because like you know and then he gets the bag and it's got like like you know 200 grand in it and five passports and your standard is there a gun I don't know if there's a gun, there might be a gun. Because goddamn this movie, there should be a gun and I don't think there is. If I'm Michelle Monaghan, I'm like, hey, remember like six months ago when we had to, like, cancel HBO Max because we had to, like, tighten their bells before I found out you were a super spy.

Where was this fucking money? You had all this money? You have a man. Again, like, later we find out that he has this mansion and I'm like, this is a divorce town. Aside from the fact that he's killed 50 people. The fact that he's got a secret mansion, a secretly wealthy dude, fuck this dude. He's not secretly anything.

I think like this stuff, like if he goes, you know, if he's just still Dan selling cars, right? And he goes to Ximu's fucking Chinese restaurant in London and asks for the bag, then all of a sudden he's back on the map and people are coming for him. Dude, when you give it all up, Steve, you give up the financial ties as well, man.

Well, I do want to live in Buffalo. I would like to know a little bit more about how he saved me from my troubles in my home country. Great question. Is it the gag, though? he says you were the troubles or whatever? He's like, well, you were the trouble, Shimo, and he's like,

oh, that's right. It just kind of walks away. What is the adventure? Like, what was that? Oh, well, dude, that's your standard. All those wild adventures we had in Nicaragua or whatever that these movies always do. You were the troubles. I was working for the People's Republic of China. The CCCC.C. I disappeared you, bro.

I mean, at the very least, I'm sorry, but at the very least, every time now, if Michelle Monahan's trying to take a trip she's going first class and if he says the thing about fucking economy he's fucking going out of the goddamn street precisely like I'm not saying everything I'm not saying you fucking buy his necklace every week

or some shit like that I can't fly first class I'm a member of the Chinese Communist Party they'll take me down they'll take they have courts over there and they mean business there is a there's a great line when they're like sitting around the table and Kyle's like wait a minute

so he's our uncle that means your dad and the housekeeper and while Wolverg goes yeah Kyle that's how it works oh yeah Kyle knows everything Kyle knows about date night he knows about all this shit he's offended though like oh my god without and they weren't married they weren't there was no mommy and daddy they were married this little game return ain't no trad calf dude no he's he never knows it's the best honestly they're out they can be both by the way

There's the tread in-sul diagram circle is occurring. But this is more like a Mike Johnson and the son type thing. Oh, yeah. We're checking in on each other's pornography. Oh, dude. That's so awesome that the speaker of the house is like, so how big word tits on, please. Yeah.

Oh, and you like that. Yeah, they check in when they're like, oh man, I almost fell off the pornography wagon tonight, dad. But then also like, didn't that dude like kind of marry his daughter in that fucking promise. ceremony shit. I saw that. Oh, it's one of those. It's all the same. I was not one. Where it's like they just march these girls in with their

deadies and then it's like, I promise daddy, I won't get dicked by anybody but daddy until I'm married daddy. It's the same thing. It's just I love my kids so much. What are their genitals doing right now? What is what's going to happen? Would like to see them and feel them and think

about them. Some bad directing here because a fun gag and a lot, I think about Flight of the Concord's that does this a lot which is we're talking, we're having this conversation. I know where you're going. There's a other character that is here. And it's like, oh, what are you doing here? Arise Darby?

Oh, that's a really funny joke. Because we were just talking about it. But they're like, you know, we're going to go on this trip. It's going to be exciting. And then Omar, you keep seeing the side of his ear in whatever the other teen boys shot. And like, it's just bad directing. Because I'm like, who is that? You know what I mean? And then he's revealed to be Omar.

And you're like, oh, that could have been better. Yeah, you're totally right. And those guys, wasn't it always the best ones they do on concords. Wasn't it always like Kristen Shaw's husband who was always like right next to them? Yes. They pulled that a lot. Like she'd be saying like very like sexually

overt things to the concords or whatever and then it would be like flip. It's just right there. Because it was like, but what about your husband? It's like, well he doesn't mind. He doesn't mind. Yeah, I don't mind. Like those were great gags. Oh my God. I never saw it. A bit before my time.

Go back. You should go back. Dude. It's funny. You know why? Especially now because it It is the New York you inherited when you got out of college. It's very much that thing. I miss that New York. You got at least two seasons of it on HBO to look at it. Was Tyca involved with that? I don't think so.

I don't believe so either. I can't say for sure, but I don't think so. The crazy thing about Omar in this restaurant, right, is like Omar says something at some point. And then, like, yeah, the joke is he's sitting there. And then Walberg is like, well, these are family decisions or whatever. he could go sit over there so he doesn't hear our family plans like take your food and sit at another table what an asshole shit uh so then we uh we cut to paris here's fin and this is you know there's kit harrington just crossing a bridge in paris it looks great it's for an establishing shot that

means almost nothing except saying we're in paris and it's awesome that it's all real and then so walberg and crew are driving a boat uh across the channel I guess is the idea. And here's Kyle bitching about, oh, my, the gaming tournament I was going to go to, has been canceled or whatever. And then,

mailed us to deleted seeds.com. I don't even care about it. Well, because they realize if they don't have them, like, reminding you of shit they did in the first movie, the jig is up that they're not characters at all. Well,

you know, also the gaming angle sets up that he's also a master hacker. Uh-huh. Yes. Well, we had a line, right? When we're bitching about Christmas, and whatever at the beginning of the movie and Walberg is like

you almost you tried to erase all the school records from the computer system and he's like oh but it was just a senior prank and he's like you could have gone to jail and I was like gone to jail

maybe it's like a Steve Sanders detention for the rest of the year thing well yeah I mean it's all to make sure that this is a trilogy and not just those dreaded two-fers we're setting up a third movie. By the way, Tycoe Wittiti wrote a couple

episodes of five of the Concourse. Oh, okay. I thought I. Okay. What do we think of this flight, family, I almost said flight plan. Family plan three. What is that going to be like? Well, it's clearly a spoiler for the end of this episode. Kit Harrington is now

part of the gang is what I'm guessing. They're doing like a fast and the furious thing where it's like, we throw a few punches but then we're like, oh, it's family. I would wager, how about this? I'm going to guess one of the things they could do is if you're doing this family plan three you can model it now

on the oceans trilogy right oceans 11 Vegas oceans 12 Europe oceans 13 back to Vegas family plan three we got to go back to Vegas oh we're going back to Vegas and now kid Harrington's here doing his fucking Irish accent in Vegas

get Kate Harrington and Buffalo woohoo that's fireworks right there and then on top of that you would likely have by the end of that movie, Nina, I imagine, is expecting. Oh, that's it. Oh, now she's got the baby.

Wow. It looks like someone else could have used some family plan in their beans. What the fuck is this? Come on, Omar. Your semen couldn't do some popcorn avoid that? They go to Paris for reasons, and that's the plan we do.

Because the father's a state is there, yeah. We do have like, you know, we mentioned the stakes and stuff. Like, Nina, like, I can't have a life here with Omar. in London. That's over, Nina. Like, wow. Yeah. That's over. Because I think this is the same name and shit that they use, because they've done this same like, if we have to like scram and like divorce as a family or change our lives. It's what are the Andersons? The Andersons. Yeah. So like that's just like these

little snippets like copy and paste it from the first movie or whatever. Um, they go to Paris. We do finally get this mansion. Yes. It's, uh, Kit Harrington shows up. and the butler Vikram is there. And he's like, you're not allowed here, sir. And he's like, but I got, oh, but I got the key, don't I? And it's like, really, too, like, they do the, the blues song intro. Yes. Where the most famous muddy water.

I forget the fucking name of the song, but like, just to show you, like, just to show you the inside of this huge mansion. apartment that like soon enough it doesn't even matter like it's just we're going to be going like cut cut cut cut cut cut here's the problem Chris it's the kit Harrington of it all because this sequence is you know what the sequence is

it is Jim Carrey as the riddler in the bat in the bat cave and all of it because it's written the same way it's just in the script is like he walks through he inserts himself and it's very exciting to watch him and it's just Kit Harrington looking at things and nodding

but it's Kit Harrington It's not Jim Carrey It's not fucking Jeremy Piven It's Jim Jeremy Piven would have made a meal out of this scene And you know it He would have had a fucking blast with this shit And Kit Harrington is just slowly making his way through it

While I'm listening to this song I've heard 400 million times We're advocating the return of Jeremy Piven I would I would Get him back out here That's fucked up Somehow Jeremy Pivot has returned I don't know maybe I'd watch it

We'll see This, um, the dude playing, uh, the dude playing Vikram is, uh, this guy, Sanjuv Bhaskar. And I wanted to bring him up because, uh, one, he is in Paddington in Peru, which I still think is a delightful sequel, although it's hard to top part two. But also, Steve, this is unfortunate. I forgot because it was just one episode in the first season and now it's not a great look to watch that second season, but he's fucking cane and sandman. I'll never know it. Yeah. It's something.

He appears as Kane in one episode of the first season. We have seen him, but I'm looking. Yeah, there's like six more Cate appearances. Here's where I'm at, Neil Gaiman-wise. I have not thrown away my Sandman books. They're just in the bookshelf. I've got a ton of books. They're just, that's a lot of books on this house, you know?

That's fine. But I did, a long time ago, my wife did very nicely buy me these really cool Sandman book ends. And I was like, oh, this is really cool. Those are in the garbage. That's like decorative art. That, I think, is a, is it a little too far because Sandman was one of my favorite things in the world and that's just not allowed

anymore. You can't have things you like. Tainted, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we learned that that number, by the way, $535 plus million dollars, uh, who what's you see that number? You're like, so what is he going to do with it? What's, what? And he's just like, sitting.

Oh, got it. Dude, he's sitting in this big chair, tenting his fingers and I'm like, and now what? Now it's the book of Boba fat, you know? We're not actually going to do anything at all. just going to sit on this amount of money and act like we're going to do stuff. And now he's got to fight Wahlberg. He wants to be the mighty

dimeo, right, Chris? Well, what he would like to be, I imagine, is a criminal like a kingpin. But guess what a criminal kingpin has to do? He then has to plan evil things. And they don't want Kit Harrington, who has to be a nice guy at the end of this movie

to be like, well, I'm going to, of course, I'm going to somehow take arms away from Ukraine. I don't know how. Yes, do that and sell drugs to schoolchildren, stuff like that. Yeah, stuff like that. And nobody wants to hear that shit. It's so bizarre because at the beginning of the movie, he's like, oh, I'm, I'm going to, I'm going to frame you for Robin a bank and then you'll spend the rest of your days in the prison and your wife too. And that'll be, that is like, seems to be vengeance enough for him.

Because he wants the kids abandon just like how Kieran Hines literally and physically abandoned him. And then like the whole, it seems like more of the point is whatever this key is going to unlock. but once you find out it locks this thing and he's like I don't know vengeance and I'm like well we just did that it's so it's such a deflated balloon once we get to this fucking mansion I do love that after

they come ashore in France and they need to still get to Paris which by the way from the shore is still a little ways to go the movie doesn't really tell you that but so they like hitch a ride on the back of this truck like there are a couple of fucking

farm animals here I was thinking of there's that great Simpsons gang where the farmer's like, can't let a hog sit up front now or sit in the back. He's going to eat all your water balance and homers eating her. But so they like take this truck in or whatever.

And this is one of the things I was talking about. Like they are literally hunting down this man that is trying to like ruin their lives and put them in jail forever and destroy their family. And he's like, oh, hey kids, look, it's the Eiffel Tower. You want to go climb it?

I was like, dude, priorities, man. And also, Max is doing that little baby kid thing. where he's like, we'll say, to be able to find us here in Paris. And I'm like, kid, mom almost got murdered today. Like, we just got to fucking dial it down a little bit. I was like, you know what? I'm pulling the nuclear option. There is no Santa Claus.

Oh, dude. We're in mortal danger, baby. You've got to find out sometime, kid. There is a Santa Claus, by the way. Oh, I forgot. All the younger listeners listening. Honestly, if someone doesn't, I don't think anyone who believes in Santa Claus should be listening to this podcast at all.

I would hope not. If you are listening to the show and you still have the age where you're believing in Santa, we've done way worse to you already than tell you that Santa Claus is not real. So sorry. Fair point. Family listeners, you know, be aware. But like you're on the lamb, dude. You're not going up a fucking tower.

Sedate that baby. Like, get some type of drug to knock it out for the rest of the film. Well, maybe we could have used some of the fucking knockout juice that Svetlana has. Here we go see former Russian intelligence slash old flame of Mark Wahlberg's here from the spy days. And when you are going through this situation in which you and your children have almost been shot a couple of times already. What you definitely are worried about is how hot Svetlana is. Yes. I mean, that really just that is number one on the list.

Like, oh my God, I hope she isn't like unbelievably spoken on. She's, you know, it's a gentleman seven. but like it's pretty fucking good I'd say but it doesn't it's not that's what I hate about movies like this is like you have to shift the fucking like expectations game so much like the stakes go all fucking way

every which way so like now like a guess we are is fucking Michelle Monaghan jealous of Svetlana luckily Chris Svetlana is good good good gross because she has cat c c cats she's got cats and she's actually allowed her hair to go gray

I'm sure Mark Wahlberg has never died his hair no that's natural no no couple of things i like here one yeah during the you know the freak out or whatever you know he's like this uh svetlana and she's like um uh jessica goes oh well i hope she at least has like an ugly last name and he's like romanova and she's like god damn it and he's like what what's the problem and she goes uh because he says something like oh well i don't care if one of your ex bows could help us out of this jam i'd be fine with it to which Michelle Monaghan replies, but what of his name was Rod McLongdong? Yeah.

And the rest of the characters in this scene all stop at the same time and go, Rod McLong, what is wrong with you? But also, the woman playing Svetlana is a Sintzy Babette Nudson, who she's done a lot of TV, a ton of shit, but the Duke of Burgundy. I don't know if anyone has had the pleasure of checking out the Duke of Burgundy. Is that a porno? No. It's a Peter Strickland movie. It's a weird

erotic role playing. No, it's not a porno. It's a fucking movie that's not... For him it might be. Look, you got to... This fake church boy shit that Eric does. I know it when I see it. Pornography. I know it when I see. That's all I am. Well, watch the Duke of Burgundy, which is a very good movie. It's a kind of porno.

You can let me know either way if it's pornography. A woman studies butterflies and moths. test the limit of her relationship with her lesbian lover. Wow. Okay. Is this a Rochelle, Rochelle situation? Sounds like it. It's, if you know what, if you got to if you got to watch it late at night because it's a little

saucy. It is a, it's a sub-dum role-playing story. I see. And it unfolds fascinatingly. I will say, all Strickland, check them out. Guys got a really interesting filmography. Perburian sound studio system or whatever the fuck is. Okay.

Fantastic. Burbarian sound studio, yeah. He also hates Marty McFly Right Mr. Strickland He's a slacker So that makes a ton of sense Ah yes The one of his

That I wasn't hyper crazy about But it's still interesting Is also in fabric From 2018 In Fabric Those are like his three big movies Anyway She's just a gross old cat lady

She's gray hair She's disgusting She is Makes me out to puke Look she's no Rod McLongong Okay I'm the only one saying it fine. She's eating borscht and she's doing bad Russian accent for borsht. Dude, the borscht joke like, I'm sorry, like, Borscht is delicious. I've made it before.

I fucking love borsch. This is just one of those played things. Like, if family plan two came out in like, Spentlana would be like, okay, we all come together, have sushi for dinner. And they all go, yeah, exactly. By the way, if you think beats are gross, grow up. Yeah, beats are fantastic. Throw the fuck up. Well, I mean, Maxie likes, she likes Maxie because Maxie likes the borsed soup. It's the one thing that the kid contributes to the movie besides reminding us repeatedly that it's a Christmas movie, which is all on his little shoulders, by the way. Yes.

His only other thing is he likes the quote unquote gross food that everybody's barely holding down, including Kyle. This 18-year-old grown child has to be like, I don't know. He's kind of gross. Do you have Cheetos? Yeah. I don't need borsh when I'm gaming, you stupid bitch. Can I get some Cheetos on the borsh? Can you just crumbles?

Cheetos on top of the horse. Thanks for saving us from International Assassins, you slut. Your cats stink like shit. And where's my bedroom? Where's the Wi-Fi password, bitch? Hey, you know what? She does get her evens. I mean, like, hey.

She bests this family. She drugs fucking Mark Wahlberg. right when he's like, you know what, I'm having a good time. I'm kind of relaxing now. Why I can't lift my arm up? Two things happen.

One, Kit Harrington has a Darth Vader on the Death Star scene with all these bounty hunters that do jackass shit for the rest of the movie. He's like, whatever, if whoever brings me, my brother, I'm going to triple your rate.

And I'm like, okay, that's what that scene is. And then to make this a Christmas movie that's like, let's go to the holiday market or whatever. And the kids eating French snow And it's like, oh, this tastes different than snow in Buffalo. And I'm like, assassins are after you. Yes. And it would be interesting if these bounty hunters

and assassins or whatever were colorful characters, perhaps. Exactly. Dispatch several of them throughout the events of the rest of the film. No, you know what they are? They are all the fucking, and actually, honestly, I think just the way that they are costumed and, you know, the makeup that's on them and whatever. it like the

these are worse versions of like the anonymous assassins that always come after John Wick when the when the price is on John Wick's head and you get the montage of all these people being activated those are like better because like I said like they have cooler costumes they're more like individual kind of assassins

this is just like five extras from even farther in the background of a John Wick movie you know what I mean? What about oh shit bro it's boss he's after me yep you know what he's got an swing jumpsuit on it. He's a great big

lizard with a laser gun. Oh no. He's on the radio. Like even because the guy the guy on the roof, right? Like Mark Wahlberg knows him by name. It should stand that he's like, oh my God, he's got my father's

top five pipe hitting motherfuckers. It's this guy, that lady, fat guy, the other one. I want pizzass here. Like maybe one's a knife guy, one's a this guy. And they can specialty skills. All this guy, this guy just stands on a balcony with a rifle he never gets to fire, really. And what if that guy, instead of just wearing a hat, was a sentient lizard in an X-wing jumpsuit?

What if that was happening? It might have been a real turn for the family plan franchise. Stopping a tweet, by the way. I think it might have been a Y-wing jumpsuit. Oh, I apologize. Well, we'll look into it. We'll look into it. I don't think anybody's going to get sued.

If you're fucking tweeting about that, folks, I just hope you have a happy holidays. My God. I'm tweeting about it. well except you look it's it's bad enough and it's probably too expensive to get all the star wars gang in here so you know what i'm not asking for that just enough energy to get hudson hawk level that's all you need get me a guy who's named after a candy bar or a fucking a chito a different fucking chito flavor get one of those guys out there if you gave them cool even snappy names even like a little bit and then wearing a suit it's oh man it's mr door

You don't even have to do anything very fancy. It's like, oh, look out for Mr. doorway, and then I'll be worried about Mr. doorway. Well, you know what Mr. Doorway does? He walks through doorways. What? Okay, cool.

Kind of an every man. This is a brainstorm, Chris. There are no bad names in a brainstorm. I'll take it works. It does work. Oh, no. I've been chased by brainstorm. Exactly.

He's the smartest bounty hunter there is. Uh, the one thing we did skip over is Mark Wahlberg does have, while the family settles in with Svetlana, he's like, I'm going to go try to meet with Finn. He asked Svetlana, can you still get a message into my dad's, uh, secure server or whatever? She says she can. We have this meeting at a, uh, a museum here. And it's fucking hilarious. The only, really the only reason, because nothing is really comes of the scene, but the only reason I wanted to bring it up is because this guy, this kid Harrington, he's like, Oh, would you look at who it is?

Daddy's Little Prince. Mark Wahlberg slaps this kid across the face so hard. I felt it. Oh, it's good. And it's like just daddy shit, which again, like, maybe that's sort of the movie, but it's not. It's not enough. It's just like I used to be poor looking at your mansion. I don't know.

Maybe you were poor and then you had to go to Juvenile Hall and they put rocks in your butt or something. There has to be a little something else that happened to you then. just the more. A bunch of kids have been rock-budded. We all know that. Exactly. Now, the reports are out. You can, if you grow up poor, you just become a middling podcaster. It's a totally fine thing. Yeah, that's all right. It's right.

There's more, uh, daddy's little princes getting on all these write-ups at the end of the year. There is a, uh, a more buffalo bashing here, though, because Walberg is trying to convince him, like, look, I have no beef with you. I didn't know that you and my brother. If I did, I would have reached out a lot earlier.

that. The other thing he's saying, why don't you can come and, you know, live with us, be part of a family or whatever. And he goes, so you want me to give up an empire, a limitless resources, and return, I get you. And he's like, well, yeah, we got a great family. And he's like, yeah, I suppose I'm coming over for barbecues

and watching football and swapping birthday cards. Like really shitting on this life. It is a shit life. You shouldn't do any of those things, by the way. It's supposed, well, because at the end of the movie, we find out he's got nothing yet.

understand. And actually, family barbecues and swapping birthday cards is what we all should aspire to it. That is the point of the family plan. Yes, that's the American dream. But I want him to be like, oh, you love Buffalo so much. It's a shame that I've got a nuclear weapon aimed at it right now. And then that's the end of the movie.

It's like, uh-oh, how do we say, we got to save Buffalo, bro. Look at the bills, bro. Dude, what happens is he gets him out there and he's like, tricked you. You didn't anticipate my army of. of Bill's Mafia. Oh, there we go. And then all these fucking dudes come out

of the woodwork and do wrestling moves on him in a parking lot till he's dead or whatever they do out there before football games. Yeah, totally, yeah. Oh, oh, it's the sabers. They have actual sabers to defend the city. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit, it's not the hockey team. It's a bunch

of angry drunks with swords. They were on forged in fire. Oh, shit, they will kill. Oh, no, two of them having heart attacks, bro, before they got to us. Only two this time? Yeah, only two. And that one in the back's actually burning down Buffalo itself right now. Stop him.

You quench too early. Dude, you'd never want to quench too early, man. Oh, no. Oh, they're wrecked the O.J. Simpson statue that they put up. Oh, no. So, yeah, anyone who kills Dan, triple the rate. And then Svetlana drugs him because it's like

oh, you know, Svetlana, we did have some good times together. We take a shot and then, uh-oh, he's been roofied, that's fun. And it's close to the best sequence in the movie. Bam, bam, boom, moi. It's just because the song's good. That's it. Yeah, it's a song's cool.

The song is good, the French song there. But plastic Bertrand, sa plan mu, mu, blah. Which has been in like a thousand movies. A thousand. And I believe, like, travel commercials like yeah oh yeah but she she roofies him and yes the bad guys are coming but yet i am not a bad guy in league with them i am going to give you my

car because i don't want them to bust up my apartment i get not busting up the apartment but why are you roofing and because she roofed him but and then while they were talking she realized he's such a sweet dad these days no he's not conflicting so we get this car and this kid goes why are there three pedals to which Michelle Monaghan goes, oh fuck, it's a stick shift. And instead of being like quick, before we pull out of this garage,

let's switch places and I'll drive the car. We do this ridiculously improbable thing where he is learning manual transmission for the first time at high speeds in a chase. I don't think so. In an Amelie car. Yes. The Amelie Mobile. Before we do this, why don't we go to a parking lot for about two

hours? Yeah, exactly. It's going to be a parking lot. Maybe it's on a hill. It always helps if it's on a hill. That would be nice. Just swap, like, because your father, your son and mother and son, be like, all right, get up. I'm going to, even though it's a narrow, the joke is it's a really narrow garage, so you can't

swap, you can swap in the car. Like, you come over me, I'll go under to you, and now mom's driving the car. You know what you can also do? Drive five feet and then swap. Yes, exactly. Just leave the garage. But they, yeah, they burst out of the garage. There's a dude with a shotgun out there

that they sort of like blast by or whatever. And Walberg, the whole thing is, see, what's it, it's tough because this is a, it's a decent enough car chasing. We got a lot of good stunt driving, all that stuff. You're in Paris. The car goes down the fucking stairs at Sacrakeur at one point. Like, real, real cool stuff here. Almost it's John Wick. Almost, yeah, John Wick's trying to get up the stairs.

The car's coming down. How am I going to get up these stairs if everyone's doing action scenes up here? Son of a bitch. Stop throwing cars at me. Donnie, watch out. It's coming for you. Three sections later. But that's all cool and I'm enjoying watching that

But there's this farting coming from the backseat Which is Walberg trying to do comedy here like stoned on the on the roofies still And he's like, who's any bitty car is this bro? Where are we? Is it Christmas? Am I in a movie? What you needed what I realized watching because I think the guy plays Omar is very hot and he's you know, maybe he is or is not good at parkour You need a comedian in that role like that should be a fun. Like, this cast is so dull from a comedy perspective. But I like Michelle Monaghan, she's not exactly a comedic actress. No, not at all.

She's a great straight woman. She's very funny on White Lotus, you know, but like, she's not the character that makes you laugh. She's the one that react. She's not Carrie Coon. Right. Exactly. So you need, like, you know, like a Josh Gad type, not him. You know what I mean?

Somebody that's like, that's fun. Because the son is not funny. The daughter is not funny. The baby isn't funny. Like, if we're getting somebody new and just have the. to be funny then. And you also needed to be someone who, not just funny, but I believe specifically

physically funny, because in scenes like this, like when the car goes down the staircase, right, you need somebody with like rubber-faced comedic ability to make a very scared what kind of face. They're all just kind of like, oh! Like sort of more realistically

reacting to it instead of like comedically reacting to it. I hadn't even thought about that, but you're absolutely right. It is a darth of comedic actors. I think they think that the son is funny. I think they think that. It is not true.

It is a perfectly nice guy. Provably not true, but it's it just doesn't work. But like, I think they thought that. Because he's kind of a stoner a little bit, but he's a gamer. Think about the audience that this is actually for. It's clearly not us.

I feel like it's like jokes about the kids talking about his video games. I'm your uncle. You know what I mean? Maybe it's funny to them. but it's not funny to me. If you're 60, this might be very funny to you.

Possibly. They narrowly escape and then it's sort of like pretty much the let's we know what we got to do we're all, we're either going to split up or we're going to do

this crazy adventure. He's ready to turn himself in. Yeah, that's right. She's like, no. Beans, Nina, the daughter is like, no, like we're going to figure this out of the family.

We're stronger together. Remember the last time? It's a remember Vegas. We're going to figure. read out as a family. So yeah, she says, let's run down. They're in like the top deck of a parking garage. And she's like, we can either stop being the Morgans and be on the run forever. We can turn ourselves in, in where then dad is going to go to jail and we'll still be in danger from Uncle John Snow. Or, you know, the third thing is like, we can just do our thing as

the Morgans and solve this. And this is where you realize now, there's been a couple of times when Omar, this comes to pretty much almost nothing at the end of the movie. But Omar throughout the film has been like, I really should call my father. Boy, this seems like a real mess. I should call my father. And Walberg keeps being like, I don't think so. Omar, shut your mouth and whatever. Yeah, we got to let the baby speak and the baby's like,

we don't want you to go jail, daddy. Plus, may I remind you, it's Christmas. So Kyle comes up with his plan and his whole thing is like, well, I can use my hacking program that I use to erase all the grades. Thank God we mentioned that at the beginning of the movie. Oh, wow. Good job, guys. Perfect. We can just, if you get this little device into the encrypted server room, Kyle basically says he can do that, erase all the money, erase all the contacts,

erase everything that says that, like, Mark Wahlberg's character was ever associated in this line of work and, you know, really, really save the day. Yes. So they're sitting outside his house, which is like across the, the Sen here. And this is like more of like, oh, there's Vickram. Oh, who's Vickram? Oh, he was our butler when we were growing up. they're like, Butler, Mr.

fucking pick up your, your clothes and do the dishes, fuck you, dad. Thank God that these kids are both pretty much out of the house right now. Because like, if they were like 15 or so and you still had several years to live in that house with them after these revelations, total torture town.

Is this, does, has the son told them that he has the USB drive with the entity from Mission Impossible on it? That's pretty much what he says. Yeah, he's like, here's my, my erasing, program or whatever so yeah this is the whole mission break into the house Walberg will put that in there erase everything

and we're good so he has to everybody's got a mission in this family plan and so this is on all that like the laundry list of unbelievable things that happen in this movie Mark Wahlberg leading the park core charge with Omar is the most unbelievable

also at the same time we got the kids beans of course Zoe Tube the beloved one beloved you tuber. The conversation like audio gun. Oh, this laser microphone? I need to get me one of these. So they're listening to people fuck. See, this is another part of the comedy. That would be the comedy as well. I mean, to me, the comedy is a track

coach beating a martial arts expert hand-to-hand combat. That is pretty funny to me. We also get, it's a very muddled for this movie, but like, oh, Omar, Omar and Nina are activists in England, and that's how they met. And Omar, it's almost like, well, I will tell my friends. And then all of a sudden there's this huge protest.

And it's kind of one of those, it's a little bit shitty because she's just like, that's where all the oil people live. And everyone's like, we hate oil people. And I'm like, that's not what protests are. You know what I mean? They show up to just a protest in general. that's well I mean it's kind of a nice

it's not a joke it is just sort of like a nice reference I think like because the French will protest for like a fucking burp that was too loud dude like that's they get out in the street it is like so admirable the way the French get out in the street so I love this like you're weaponizing that by totally lying in this moment like yeah

yeah the big the big I think it's just fat cat it's like oh the oil company fat cat lives up there they're like la boo this girl speaking broken French is right let's get them she couldn't be the CIA leading us into some sort of

a trap that sounds great I am curious because in the first movie I think when we covered that I sort of had the same question because now multiple people are doing it I believe Omar that's fine but this actress playing beans and Mark Wahlberg here are we dubbing all these foreign languages

that were because that's a great question she's sounding pretty smooth here with the French and then he's got he's doing Russian he's doing some form of a Chinese dialect here and we still are doing French in this movie with him and I'm like

is this a dub are we giving up in this line? Adrian Brody is using it for the material for the brutalist. I'm pretty sure Mark Wahlberg isn't too broken up about it.

That's my guess. Or he's stubborn the other way and he's like I'm just gonna read it from a cue card and I'm an actor so it's gonna sound real I don't need AI

Adrian Brody won an Academy Award for an AI performance did you see that shit? Yeah, it's kind of bullshit, Mark, I agree with you. I mean, he'll find, he'll be fine with it once he has his own AI company that he's doing this kind of work.

Oh my God, it's called Prey AI. Pray AI. Pray AI. Yes. No, I'd be in time. Oh, yeah, it's an AI that thinks it's the Lord God. That rocks, dude. Sounds good. And then

then the prey AI starts also telling all the users to kill themselves. Yeah, it's great. It's fantastic. What could possibly go wrong? We're going to build You can have your own personal Mel Gibson in your house Anytime you want

So Nina Start getting harassed here Because the cops like see her And like sort of suspect that she might be the ringleader And they're going to like take her in or whatever And Omar She yells Viva la Revolution And shoves like a pole

Through this windshield Heroically getting arrested I guess sure whatever it's a fun little moment meanwhile mark walberg has gained entrance into his he beat up he might have murdered that one century dude and has now gained entrance into his old high school boy uh a high school bedroom which has a ferris bueller poster sure mint condition still mint condition always a first blood poster totally makes sense a depeche mode i don't know no that's not you bullied those kids dude exactly i have a lot of questions i have a lot of questions i have a lot of 155, I don't think Mark Wahlberg has ever listened to Depeche Mode. I don't know what multipers were in. Well, that's in that character. Jesus, bro. I love that stuff.

Pray AI. It's your own personal Jesus. That's why he likes Depeche Mode, because he could use it. It's very religious. What do you mean? They have something sexual? I've never heard of it. It's pretty ridiculous, bro. I just want to sit home and enjoy the silence, right? Everybody? He also uncovers his. his old stash where he's got

like a joint and some pussy pics. Dude, this is great. He fucking pulls this shit out. Some crinkled pornography and a 20 year old Jay. And then he's like, because they're all watching it like on a body cam and the boy is like,

Dad is not you stash box. And then like he's like, yeah. And I knew that your stash box was where it was and Bean's had a hollowed out book for her stash box and they're like, you did? And it's like, guys, you know at this point he was a spy all those disgusting things you did if you stuck a boy or a girl into the house or whatever like he knows all of it but couldn't say anything for fear of uh outing his

his assassin spy skills sweetheart why do you think i've been calling your beans all this years come on oh lord figure it out oh god okay i'm sorry i lied to all those years about my background and everything okay i'm finally going to do it now from now on we can order one appetizer when we're out. I know I've been stickler and I have said you cannot order any appetizer when we go out. It's all main courses and that's it.

But now I will allow it. Beans, we're going to do it where you can have a bloomin onion. We can finally go to a restaurant and you can ask of something and then follow it up with for the table. I love that. New world.

So he's in the bedroom and he goes, oh, I can't believe he kept all of this. And then you just hear, oh, he can. And here's fucking Finn behind him with a gun here. And I like this maneuver. So we're going to shoot this dude dead. And Vikram is like, hey, you know, your father had a place for this in this house. Let's keep tradition going here.

So they march him down to this basement where this dude is just like, okay, and step on this great right here. You know, just like a fucking slaughterhouse floor, let all the shit go beneath it, I guess. And a cool moment here, like Finn, goes to pull the trigger and Vickram presses the button and Walberg falls through the floor unharmed and this is where I was like this movie doesn't need to be this toothless

so like Finn realizes immediately like what happened obviously and he's pissed off and he goes up to Vickram and gives him a really lame and you should have figured out the choreography a little better headbut here and knocks this guy out you got to shoot this guy. He has to kill him. He has to kill him and then throw him down that drop door and then the rats can eat him.

And the rats were heating on the racks. When Mark Wahlbergs is in his father's catacombs, the house that he grew up in, by the way, the amount of human skulls lighting the walls, did anyone else notice this? This is twisted shit, man. Like, this is not a normal guy. Me and my dad used to kill people down here and we'd throw the bodies down there and then the rats would eat them. It's pretty chilling, right? This is frailty shit, man. Like, this is not okay.

We've talked about this before, Steve. when you forgot what catacombs were. I think, like, these could just be, like, legitimate catacombs, which then makes me wonder, is there a law against clearing that out? Like, is anyone's, is some knight's family going to be upset that you got a 700-year-old skeleton out of there? No, the dad was a prolific murderer.

These are his victims. That's the way, that's the way I read it. Got it. Yeah, you could be totally right. I'm just saying, just more curious, like, yeah, is there a knight's family that was, like, you threw out fucking John the Great Skeleton

or it's the sewer and they were a bunch of cannibals that live up there Oh it's true Man I do have to say watching now The entirety of that first season of Welcome to Derry I saw them jump into the sewer And I just thought and I was like man Are sewers ruined for me

Like if I go and watch Ninja Turtles Am I going to be thinking about Pennywise the clown God damn it sucks you love sewers No dude right That's unbelievable. I will say, the end of that season, they did kind of pick things up a little bit. That's what I've heard.

Is the honeymooners ruined? I can't go down there, Ralph. Pennywise is going to get me. Norton, you want to put food on the table or what? Hey, shut up. I'm going to float, Ralph. I don't want to float, Ralphie. What am I going to float on, Ralphie?

What am I going to float on? Bam, zoom to the moon. You'll float up there. So Kyle's back in the car and he notices, oh, even though they took dad away, the tracker we do see a shot Walberg sort of just leaves it drops it on the carpet we can still do this computer stunt mom

you just have to sneak in there and get the tracker and put it into the computer or whatever so this is my god you guys like in case you don't remember the end of the first movie is her doing a pole vault thing so we just found another track and field event now she was also a long jumper so here we go I had an 18 foot reach

in college I do love that because she starts it with in college and then she says, I could jump 18 feet or whatever and Kyle is like, the first two words of that sentence are very important right now. That's a good moment for Kyle. Good job. Kyle. Also, she's wearing like hiking boots.

You know what I mean? Like she does have boots on. I noticed that too. Yeah. That's not going to work. But sure. It does. She makes a big jump. By the way, it does work. She jumps right across this thing from one side of green screen city to the other. this is like for all the the praise I gave about like the bus and yada like she's nowhere near and I'm not saying you have to do the stunt on a roof but like can you set up a camera put this woman on a rooftop for two fucking seconds that would be nice two fucking seconds if you had

earlier in the movie set up these bounty hunters when Mark Wahlberg dispatches big bald looking Bill Goldberg guy yeah I would be like oh that's mr doorway and then when she goes up against lady katana face i would be like that's cool too like it would be something rolled gold and and lays are they're getting them from two sides you know oh no here comes ridges oh chito and tostito are after me oh madam wheat thins with the katana blade look out oh my god it's cheese it he's getting me triscuits on my tail Man, that Uttz guy's scary. I think he's from Eastern Europe.

Oh, dude, you had the mustache on that guy? Hell, yeah. Yeah, you'd think it was the potacious, but it's really just the noise that all this victims say before they die. Oops. Hey, I'm Pringles, and I'm gonna, once I start popping necks,

I can't stop. And hi, I'm Snyders. Hi, everybody. I'm Snyders. I'm the, I'm the wheel man. I just drive everyone around with a Snyder van. Want a pretzel? Want some honey mustard dust?

I got some poison. Oh, that's what he does. He takes out his palm and goes, and he blows honey mustard pretzel dust into bad guys face. Kind of the scarecrow of the team. And you have two silent twin assassins who are named combos.

I like that. Yes, dude, totally. And I'm a hot pocket and I keep something hot in my pocket. It's a gun. It's a gun. It's a gun. It's a gun. It's a stolen. gun that's why it's hot you see yes she has this fight with you know lady katana here and she's you know it's okay i guess she's throwing books out i will say the fight choreography

here between michelle monahan and lady death strike or whatever uh choreography is way faster than walberg and kit harrington on the top of us just i that was incredibly noticeable to me in this movie walberg and i mean it happens to us all but like a lot slower with the choreography here. It's the best fight of the movie and what I need is for her to be like yeah, I've been taking some lessons or, you know what I mean? Like, Chris's point. The fact that she's taking this lady down, no thank you.

Yep, no, you're absolutely right. Guys, that's just how good Ohio state sports are. Well, well-rounded physical education. I do like, I think also like, you know, maybe she's also coaching the fucking baseball team because she takes this

bust that she finds on a shelf and tosses it at this woman and beans are right in the head here. Knocks her out cold, which is pretty great. The kids have to bamous at the same time because they see this other assassin here coming the other way. It's a guy at a baseball hat, you understand? Is that doing anything

for anybody? He's a dude at a baseball hat. And so baseball man's coming here. And this is great because she's like, Beans gets out of the car and she says to all the protesters like, oh, look, it's the oil man's muscle. Yes. And then they all just converge on this dude

yelling at him. Oil company enforcing. sir. Say my name. It's Cape Cod. I'm kettle cooked. Oh, shit. You'll be kettle cooked by the end of this fight. Oh, yeah.

And then we put the bodies in the kettle and we cooked them and then we fed him to the rats. It always gets back to the rats. No, yeah, that's in the contract. They always gets back to the rat. Yeah, so the kids all run into this Christmas bazaar where they get on a carousel, like it's the end of a Hitchcock movie here. This and hat guy is following them. Michelle Monaghan having dispatched Lady Deathstrike is now also following them here.

And they basically, they get this dude by Michelle Monaghan and Beans like throw him down the stairs or something. It's very unclear. It's very like whatever at this. The movie's wrapping up rapidly. I think Michelle Monaghan like knees him in the nuts or something. And then like they throw him down these stairs. He's done. while they throw him down the stairs,

Kyle's doing the stupid money transfer thing and deletes everything. And this is where he's got the good, not bad for a couple of pimple-phrased brats, huh? I was like, oh, man. The pimple-faced brats line. You took time to, like, Photoshop a middle finger into this. It's very, it's like the hackers world.

Well, dude, that is from his high school prank because it's like, fuck you from the class of 2025 or whatever. So it's like, it's a leftover graphic. from his senior prank that he took with him. And they wind up we're fighting now

Mark Wahlberg conhericted very poorly by the way they wind up at the top of a church like it's the end of Batman 1989, I don't know and I was wondering here I don't know

if we didn't want to pay for like the licensing rights to have this happen here because there is a quick like shot of it when they first get to Paris but I was like is this supposed to be

like the bell towers of Notre Dame is that where this is ending and we're just not saying that? And then he sets it on fire by mistake and it's revealed that it takes place a few years in the past. Oh shit, bro. We set on Notre Dame on fire.

Surprise. It's 2018. My kids shouldn't even be born. Just like your track and field team in Ohio State's going to do to Notre Dame in America. But yeah, this big lame pseudo-batman fight.

And then again, I'm sorry. Like you push him off a bell tower. Yeah, he's like wrapped up in ropes and whatever. I like this one thing of pushing, like, Tackling someone through a window is always nice to look at. Especially when it's a stained glass window of your own father. Yes, that's right. Well, when he starts wrapping the rope around Kid Harrington, I'm like, oh, dude, here it comes.

Yep, I was like, finally, you saved the best for last. But no, it's around his shoulders, you understand. So he's just left dangling in the church and he knows it. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows he's dangling. Dudes, this guitar that starts playing as he slowly walks out of a Catholic church, by the way. Really something here. This Mark Wahlberg's slow-mo

Bow-Bow-Bel-Bel-Tek-D-D-D-D-Lord Christ. It's so nuts. A reality that Mark Wahlberg meets the Pope and shows him this scene on his phone. Yes. Pretty cool, right? Your father, your holiness? I mean, the Jersy.

The Pope's a sinophile, you know. Jersey Pope will listen to him. I think the Jersey Pope has probably seen rock star. I mean, Chicago. Chicago Pope. Oh, he said Chicago Pop. Jersey Pope is the spin-off that would cancel

of not as to say. So, yeah, it is, I will say, you know, I'm not made a stone. I thought it was kind of funny at the end. He's coming out. The entire family in handcuffs waving at him pleasantly. And then wouldn't you know it here?

Dude, this is where I was like, it's nice, but also, dude, maybe set your family up for life also when Kyle is like, hey, by the way, sister, I transferred all $535 million of Peepaw's assassin fortune to Greenpeace for you. Merry Christmas.

How about everybody gets 5 mil? Just as a cool... Why the hell not? Some walking around money. Of course. Well, he doesn't need that because you can just win the tournament, the gaming tournament. Oh.

Yes. And by the way, Steve was alluding to it earlier when the guy falls off the carousel, this clunky fucking line, hey, we're the bank robbers wanted in England, but we really need your help. Yes.

Good Lord. Yikes. Yeah, that's bad. So, yeah, they have, we see them turn themselves in or whatever. And then, uh-oh, here's Omar, who's this fella? Oh, hey, here's my dad. You know, the Secretary General of Interpol. Oh, DeSX Daddy. And then, like, you know, Walberg starts like, why did you tell us that, Omar?

And he's like, I tried many times. You're just a fucking American pig and you wouldn't let me speak. It's true. Well, yeah. I mean, if he knew that you were involved in law enforcement, he'd be rock hard the whole time. You wouldn't have had any issue. And then, of course, Omar's father can clear up all their crimes and let them get away, Scott Free. But where's Maxie? Maxis is gone. He's gone. He's gone. My baby's missing. Oh, wait. He's just humping Santa's leg in the crowd. Great.

Yes. This Artie Lang looking Santa, by the way. Dude, I thought it was the same fat guy who plays Santa in the first home alone. You know that guy? Yeah, that character, he's been around. I think he's still with us. You know, the funny thing about the whole Interpol thing, right? It's like most of this movie, you kind of assume that like the people who made it don't have like any respect for the intelligence level of the audience at all. And that's why like it's funny when you get to this moment where it's like, yeah, okay, you know, my dad's the fucking chief inspector at Interpol. There's no like, there's no follow up of the dad being like, and I monitor your case and you're free to go or I.

handled all the mix-up, whatever it is. So, like, you are just, I feel like this is a little bit of a leap for your, like, family-friendly movie here to, like, have people, you know, all, the whole audience be on the same page as to what Interpol does. You know what I mean? This is my father, is the lead singer of Interpol. Rosemary. You had a bad trip to the UK, but you're in France now. That's so cool, Bean. And seeing Omar's dad is an Interpol.

Look at that tiny tie he's wearing. That's amazing. Turn off the bright lights, bro. Does he know Paul Banks? I would love to meet him. God, I love that band. Yeah, so Max is just hugging a little French Santa here. And then we cut 11 months later at Columbus, Ohio,

because she drops the news in the worst way possible. They're all introducing themselves to Omar's father. and she's like oh hi i'm jessica soon to be head of women's track at ohio state and he's like the fuck i mean awesome no he does not say the fuck he's like that's amazing you got the great big job all of a sudden i'm a totally different character but that's not what this guy is yeah exactly he would there would have to be a loud and lengthy discussion about this but buffalo i love it where else are we going to get the wings they have the wings everywhere what What?

But yeah, so Walberg, we cut to him 11 months later. He's on FaceTime. Can't wait to see you. I'll wish we could see you for Thanksgiving. We'll definitely see at Christmas. I miss you so much. It turns around, of course, he's talking with Omar, missing Omar, you know, your family. We're going to see at Christmas, can't wait. They're, you know, exchanging some pleasantries in French back and forth,

you know, and the family, surprisingly all well-adjusted from this. Even Kyle's driving. He's better he had a car accident at the beginning of the movie. I can't wait for you to put a little bean in my beans, bro. I can't wait. I love it so much. I can't wait to see you, bro. Kyle is in college,

so we have to have the requisite big bag of laundry joke. Sure. You got that going on. Why didn't you just go pro with the gaming? Skip it, dude. Skip college. Yeah, there is something, right, at the beginning of the movie where it's in the whole high school prank thing where he's like, you're grounded and you have to go upstairs and work

on your college essay or whatever. So this is like, all right, yeah, I guess you convinced him to give up his dreams and just go to college. I mean, he's going to make the money anyway. Like, I mean, anyway, it's just at this point, you've got to go to college because you need to learn how to be a human

being. That's a little tiny bit. That's actually true. That is true, but people don't like doing that anymore. They really don't. This dude's going to be doing drone strikes in like three months. Oh, definitely. I mean, his gamer handle is Killboy. remember that? Yeah, it's true. Not great. Um, so Walberg is all excited that Jess gave the track

team the day off because he's like, oh, the stupid little kid now has two older kids for babysitters. We can go fuck or something. And that's like kind of like, walk into the house to do that. And like, you can't just end this movie. We have this little blip that comes two seconds after the credit start. We're just visiting Kid Harrington in jail. Is this a post credit scene? I guess because Because you have the title card, right? Right. I mean, I guess post, it's at least a post title card. I don't know.

TV movies, it's hard to gauge. It is. Yeah. And then this is just, you know, this moment of like he's wearing, there's a pea coat that there was a bunch of fucking bullshit about earlier in the movie. Walberg's wearing the peacoat. And wouldn't you know what he has gifted Finn, a peatote of his own? Oh. Isn't that nice?

Like you're a little baby. Like you're a little baby boy still. Yeah, yeah. You have a coat, you baby boy. We're brothers, bro, so we got to play cards. Yeah, it just ends the movie with them just dealing out a game of something. Why would you want your family plan movie to end with a shot of the titular family when it could just be dad and his shitty brother who's in jail?

Because it's just the new family plan. The new family plan is to get this incarcerated murderer and get him as part of our family now. The extended family plan. this could be exactly what um they wound up doing with uh that most recent um uh what is a bad boys movie right where like the one before it they're chasing will smith's son and he's he fucking murdered joey pants and whatever and now in that last one it's like we kind of need your help so we're going to sort of get you out of jail i bet you family plan three we got to get you out of jail for some reason yep yep yep do a whole thing beans definitely has a child that's that's what it has to be they'll wait long enough so that it's feasible that this character could have to like a three-year-old kid or something and then that kid's going to be making us laugh and then so is it to mirror the bad boys does that mean the witch comes back it comes into the third one yes that's right i imagine then they would have to get maybe like a grandmother or a grandfathers a witch or a warlocking comes in and helps helps with the birthing we also get this

unrelated crew that's kind of joining up with them that's built up to be something big that's kind of not right it's sort of like they uh they were on a cast of a tv show no one wants A rag-tag family that just happens to be learning under them. Yeah, that'd be great. But that is the end of the family plan, too. We'll go around the horn here. Some final thoughts and recommendations. Chris Cabin, what did you think about the family plan too?

I have zero thoughts about this thing. This thing just went and it happened. And I certainly had my eyes directed at it. I don't know if I took in any of it. But you know what? It certainly was made and I'm happy everybody got paid. That's very nice. I hope everybody got paid at least

It's a horrible movie to watch And I hope if you do put it on It is only as background noise And if you do bless you for that I feel that's kind of the only way They intended it to be watched Mr. Cisco Yes, I kind of agree that I just This is a blank movie in my brain

It's not good. The first one is better But really quickly the parents guide Has some interesting stuff You know, interesting Towards the end of the movie There is a picture of a playboy lady in a bra blink and you miss it I guess I missed it

that's the stash that's the stash that's the pornography picture there's making out and kissing hand placement in the first part okay the laser mic Nina Kyle and Max accidentally hear bones from a bedroom never mind no it's not a recommend

Steve say that how are you feeling yeah no thank you it's a great nothing it's everything wrong with these kind of nothing movie. Just like, I don't know, man, because I feel like these are kind of blank check movies of just like, here's $100 million again, just make us something that we could put on the air that is reasonable. Why not think about it? Why not like have fun with it? Again, like you're shooting

in Paris. You're shooting in London. Like, you've got all the resources in the world and you're just willfully not doing anything with it, which is sort of fascinating. It's unethical to make these movies. That's where I'm at. That's where I'm landing. Yeah. I think I think you're on to something. Because also, like, with these streaming things, too, like you raced to get this out in a year, right? Guess who was clamoring for this movie? Absolutely no one. There was no one that watched that first movie on a streaming platform

and remembered it well enough to be like, my God, I hope they do another one of these. So with that in mind, like, yeah, exactly like you said, Steve, take some time, figure it out. Do not just like carbon copy a script. Don't just lazily do the European vacation. thing. Obviously, yeah, you don't want to go to Vegas again. So sure, go to these beautiful cities. But like, just think about that story a little more. Think about the characters that

you're introducing. Because again, like that whole band of assassins, I mean, even Kid Harrington himself. Like it's not, there's no plan like we said. There's just so much that is ill thought out. Not a lot of planning, I should say, in family plan too. So no, it's unfortunate. Like, you know, as much as we love, you know, Bustin the Guys' chops, like I think Mark Walberg is watchable. So, like, put him in stuff that I can watch. I like Michelle Monaghan. You know, I never really got into Game of Thrones.

So I haven't seen a ton of Kit Harrington. But, again, yeah, you need someone else there. But, yeah, I don't know. It's just unfortunate. And you can tell when someone rushes out a movie, and it's just doubly unfortunate because there's no reason to rush out a movie that, you know, nobody cared about the original, really. And it's a streaming platform.

So you're not like, man, got to hit the fucking box office. And you're like, you don't care about any of that. at least care about the movie you're making. But that is going to do it for this episode on the Family Plan 2. The good thing is we are just getting started here on a month full of talking about movies we watched last year. Talking about other things we watched last year

too on some of these side shows. We'll get to that. But if you want episodes like the Family Plan 2 here without any of those dastardly commercials, head over to our Patreon where you can get episodes just like this every Tuesday, absolutely 100% commercial free on patreon.com slash we hate movies, where

yeah, you will also find our family of side shows that we have here including things like animation damnation Steve Sadek? We're doing that new King of the Hill. That's an exciting thing. Mike Judge is back. Yes. Chris, did you watch this yet or no? I have not. I will be watching it for

this though. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, this is, you know, I have been singing the praises of this 10 episode new season of King of the Hill. We'll just cover the first one because there was a lot of like ground to make up story-wise, but like it's absolutely great.

I really highly recommend it. That's going to be a lot of fun to talk about. Eric Sissau, do we know what's going on with the Gleap Glossary? Yes, we'll be covering a Star Wars character on the Gleap Glossary. That's our Star Wars side show where we talk about the tertiary kind of weird characters of Star Wars and poke fun at it. So we'll be coming out with one of those. The WLM for this month, I should say, is of course, will be no surprise, I think, to folks, if you follow most of us on Letterbox and social media. but one battle after another

will be the WLM. We're going to be talking up and down about Paul Thomas Anderson's dare I say modern masterpiece man I've seen that movie now six times

love it every time can't wait to talk about it on the air Chris Cabin we have already recorded January is really ridiculously structured Melro 210

quite yeah we're talking a double helpin of 90210 for commencement one and two it is an absolute disaster to have to it's, well, I had a blast

talking about it's a great episode, but as clips, as most clip shows are, it's a fucking, it's disaster. Absolutely disgusting that I had to watch that shit. Speaking of disasters, how about a disaster movie of sorts on scarty cats,

which will be 28 years later. That's coming out. It's a video side show at the top tier. Also available in audio. So video, audio, your choice. You watch us make one of these episodes. It's very fun. This is on the top tier of that Patreon. Later this month is on 20th, we're going to be doing an after dark hang as well. That's another cool video offering that is a monthly offering wherein we just chat with you guys and have a lot of fun. It's, the top tier is looking pretty good these days. We're doing, we're doing our right

Patreon one. Do you ever want to ask me how I, how cold I was when I left those bodies for the rats? Mm-hmm. That's a good question. Ask on after dark. You ask us questions. It's a lot of We shoot the shit. Just shoot the shit. We're asked questions and then we answer them. Asked and answered, you see. Pretty cool. We got a lot of cool specialty stuff coming this month, which I really like.

We got a special Nexus coming out, which is we are going to forego a discussion of an episode of the animated series this month because we are talking about the season four finale into the season five premiere of TNG, which is called redemption. Again, this is some of the absolute best memorable TNG, really awesome political military stuff here. It's Picard and Worf getting wrapped up in the Klingon Civil War. One of the best, like, two-party things they did. Obviously, you know, we already covered the big guy, season three into season four, best of both worlds. But redemption is awesome. I'm super excited to talk about that as well. And so those are the Patreon things.

But of course, like I said, every Tuesday episodes drop in here on Wii A movie. So Steve Sadek, next week, what are we going to be talking about? It's a movie that we saw last year. I haven't seen it yet, but I know that there is a Tron Ares at some point. Yes. This was so disappointing for me because I love the first two movies. And I love the soundtrack to this one. I'm glad that exists.

Really good. This will be an interesting trip down memory lane for some of the movies we saw last year. Yes, we were, you know, I was super excited to see it. And then it came out when I was in Vegas. And then, like, while I was out there, I'm seeing, like, Eric and Chris, like, it's fucking sucked. I don't know. It's really fucking terrible.

It's a disaster. So I didn't see it, and I'm going to save it for this week's, or next week's episode, rather. So until next week, when we're getting red with Tron Aries, I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen's Seda. Eric's Cisco. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. We're all the

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you.