We Hate Movies - S16 Ep852: The Boondock Saints (1999)

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

“It is an obnoxious way to tell a story…” - Andrew on the film's structureOn this week’s show, Listener Request Month 2026 makes the chicken come home to roost as we are finally forced to chat about Troy Duffy’s 1999 dorm-room-poster-movie, The Boondock Saints!Why in the world did they think this ‘re-cap the crime’ format needed to happen? Why is Rocco’s character name just the real actor’s actual name? Where do they get this super-human strength to rip toilets out of floors and jump off five-story buildings with ease? And what’s with Troy Duffy’s hatred of the Mafia? PLUS: If you get bit by a Muppet, will you turn into one by the next full moon? The Boondock Saints stars Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, David Della Rocco, Billy Connolly, Gerard Parkes, Carlo Rota, Ron Jeremy, and Willem Dafoe as Paul Smecker; directed by Troy Duffy.This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM.Be sure to catch us on the road in Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22 where we’ll be talking Conan the Barbarian and Big respectively. Tickets on sale now! Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey folks, first of all, happy St. Patrick's Day. If you're listening to this on the day it comes out, which is indeed you guessed at the 17th of March, just two days from now. We're going to be in Minneapolis doing something cool with the NBA and the Timberwolves, by the way. So if you were able to get tickets for that, the screening of an American werewolf in London, that's going to be so much fun. And then the very next night at the varsity theater, we are talking about Conan Dabia. Yes. Don't get blackout drunk and forget all this information. I mean, St. Patrick's Day, they're probably already drunk.

Yeah, okay. So let's kick it to tomorrow. You know what? You're listening to it right now. This is getting through the booze. Go wait for tomorrow. We just speak their language. It's a diversity theater.

And then we'll be in Chicago, Illinois on the 22nd, man. And don't forget tomorrow if we're listening to this. The day it comes out tomorrow of the 18th. Special We Love Movies episode With Radio Silence Talk and Joyride A lot of great stuff for you to just like Eat McDonald's tonight

Like at like 3 o'clock in the morning Center yourself You know what I mean? Take a small bite out of a big arch Exactly I only got five minutes into the new We Hate Movies episode And then I just stopped listening

Oh boy So please come out on the 19th The Very Cool Minnesota Timberwolves Sponsored screening of American Railwolf in London then the very next night, the 20th, at the varsity theater. We're going to be doing Conan the Barbarian. And then on the 22nd, we will be in Chicago, Illinois, talking about Big. Hell yeah.

Tickets available for that Conan show and the big show over on the website, WHM Podcast.com. All right, that's it. We're talking about the Boondock Saints today. Good God. Oh, perfect. This week on the program, it's an episode 16 years in the making. We're finally talking about the Boondock Saints. I'm Andrew Jupin.

this movie way too much as a kid. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Har-t-a-T-Tar-Tar. It's Chris Cabin. Oh, God. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone.

Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program, as always. Oh, yes. Listener Request Month has finally brought us to the precipice because we're talking about Troy Duffy's 1999 dorm room poster extravaganza, the Boondock Saints. I think for the longest time, because we did the last one, the second one, like, way... Ages ago.

I think we've always been waiting for that Boondock Saints 3 to come out. Oh, we'll tie them together. And I'm glad this is happening because that might never happen. It's not going to happen, right? Because Troy Duffy now put out a book, a novel, prequel. God, are you kidding me? Called Blood Origin. It came out last year of all years.

And then apparently, IMDB, you know, there's tricksters on IMDB. Sure. Someone's claiming this is going to be. be a TV series. It's kind of stunning that this wasn't picked up as a TV series in the era of dudes who like TV and fucking

white tank tops. Spike TV and TNN should have had an argument about this. Exactly. It should have been a bidding war. It's kind of a true failure. I mean, Harvey probably wouldn't let it go too well. Was he against Troy Duffy? What was the story? Harvey was involved. This was a Miramax movie.

And then Troy Duffy was such an asshole. He couldn't even be on Miramack. Dude, too much of an asshole for Harvey Weinstein. It's incredible. He got, I believe it was like half a million dollar or $300,000 and Harvey Weinstein bought the bar that he was currently working at to co-own with him. I imagine they don't own that far at these days. I don't think so.

Ruthie's closed a long time ago. I would suggest if you are interested in this, see the movie overnight. It's a documentary. It is about all their relationship. It was not good, as you can tell. And like I can just imagine like more now than back in the Spike TV. I can imagine like a daily wire pickup on the. Go really pitch you to your audience, Troy.

The third boondock saint is Gina Carrano. Oh boy. Much of an asshole for Ben Shapiro. That's hard. By the way, this is indeed listener request month as I mentioned. And this one comes from, is it Brian in the Twin Cities area? Yes, that we said. It is Brian.

Let's listen to this call. Hello. this is Brian N calling from the Twin Cities area. I just wanted to thank you for everything you guys do. Really enjoyed your show for a long time. And I would like to request the Boondock Saints. It's an awful movie I can't help to have a soft spot for. Can't wait to see you guys in March and fuck ice.

Bye. That's right, Brian, fuck ice indeed. That's fantastic. A fantastic way to close out your call, if I must say. But I must, I got to give you, get rid of the soft spot. I know it's nostalgic. I know. I get it. We all like remembering things that were on posters.

I do too. I am not innocent of this. But coming back to this, I was like, no, this is abomination from beginning to end. There is no, I know people like Willem Defoe. Sure. But I really don't think even he is salvageable for this. And also, like, not to be whatever, but like, there's, you have Willem Defoe at home. Like, you know what I mean?

If you want to go find Willem Defoe, you can get Willem DeFoe, especially these days. Good Willem Defoe, bad Willem DeFoe. Lady Gremlin, Willemps, I'm sure has been in another movie. Absolutely. So what's, you know, so we're talking about soft spots. Steve at the top, you said you liked this movie a lot. I loved this movie. Let's expand on that.

This came out in 99 or 2000. I probably saw it in 2000, I'm guessing, like, definitely on VHS, because I wasn't one of the four people that saw in theaters. And you were young and impressionable. An older boy told you to do it. No, it was a blockbuster exclusive. The cover is two cool dudes with guns on it. I'm like, got it.

You know what I mean? I, you know, I do not. fault anyone for falling into that because I was there too. I had it on DVD. I didn't see it in the theater, but it was a, because I think it came out, I don't remember when I saw, but it was like over a break from school because I remember being back home with, you know,

back home hometown friends watching it in our buddy's parents' basement. And I just like people literally, there are people that literally left the basement. It was just like, I'm going to the diner because I don't want to be watching this movie. And I was like, but they got guns and they're dropping from the ceiling and it's cool. I mean, speaking about the Got Guns post and everything. And Willem Defoe, you got Willem Defoe at home. Got guns.

You got Quentin Tarantino at home. You certainly do. This is another, this is another Tarantino knockoff era movie. What are we thinking? Who's using the N-word more pulp fiction or this movie? It's Pulp Fiction for sure. I still actually think Pulp Fiction in the N-word category might be worse. Really?

Now, do you think at the end word? Even though the movie's much better, obviously. I'm not trying to credit Troy Duffy with being a better person or anything. Do you think this is in the, do you think that word is in this movie because it's in Tarantino? Probably, yeah. Yeah. Or do you think maybe he's using it casually around the house? I don't know about that.

I would say it's like you're trying to ape screenwriting. You're trying to copy screenwriting credits or style or whatever. It's edgy, Eric, don't you get you just you say every slurry you got and it's really got something. Really don't have a lot of history with this movie. I think I saw once or twice in high school or college. But like my friends, they're like RD kids. No one was like, we got to see this. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It made the rounds, man. It was that it wasn't the sensation of passing around the Donnie Darko DVD, but it was probably like second or third place. Well, because it was more of a mirror max thing. I think a lot of people thought of it, you know, speaking to the term ternitoness of it, like I feel like that's where a lot of people came on the train. But I

saw this. It was for sure in college. Because I never had... You weren't in the Ike's basement? No, I was not. That was one because I missed this one and everybody was talking about. The poster was up. I was like, I don't know what the fuck that is. But when I did watch it, I never had a

coherent memory of this movie. It was always drunk. I was always drunk out of my mind when somebody put it on. So I never had to really remember it even. I was really happy when I finally did watch it all the way through with quasi-siber eyes, I was like,

oh, there was a good reason I never went close to this thing. Right. Because most people around me were not into it. Most of people around me didn't even get like the thrill of, oh, it's a sundance. Right, right. It must have done Sundance, right? I'm almost certain.

I don't want to look that up. But this was actually, like, because I watched a lot as a teen. I remember very clearly like, speaking of the clerks thing when I watched it. Like, I didn't watch this movie twice in a row, but I did, when I read. go to every family member, like, you gotta watch Boundah!

I sat my family down and a 17-year-old kid. That rocks. It's movie night. We're watching the Boundauk States, and I believe no fewer than two family members, including my mother, walked down. Can I say, Steve, how Irish are you? I'm a little Irish.

I'm like... I thought none, because I thought it would be really... This is a weird movie to glomante. No, I'm a little Irish. I'm Irish and Scottish on my dad's side, but also, like, Polish. That's where the name comes from Italian and Russian on my mom's side. Italian-Russian because it's more of a pure split. So you should have favored the

Italian mafia. I did and actually yeah this movie the mafia, what's the mafia doing? Who's a mafia bothering? Dude, that's what I don't understand about this. Troy Duffy's like ardent stance that he just like despises the mafia? Like what are we doing? It doesn't think. These are hardworking men trying to provide for their family. Make sure the communities are safe. Well, because they you know what? They kill good guys and the saints don't kill good

They only kill the bad guy. They're like Dexter. They only kill the bad guys. The portrayal of the mob is just so cartoonish, especially like the Russian guy is just like, I am cartoon from Planet Crime. Oh, dude, yeah, that guy's name is fucking

vodka Mc Caviar, this fucking guy. I believe it's literally, what do you call it? Cartoon from the Planet Crime. Oh, damn it. His name is Chekhov and then there's like a Star Trek joke. Oh, yes, you're right. And that, like, a hip, Star Trek joke. I will say, in quotation works, hip, Star Trek joke.

This movie also just runs out of my brain. I just watched it yesterday and it's like I'm struggling to remember it. By the way, just because I don't want to give this movie any more laurels than it deserves, which are none. This did not. No, it wasn't. It's premiere was August 4th, 1999 at the Munchen Fantasy Film Fest premiere in Germany. September the 10th, 1999, the Athens Film Festival. And then it was just released first in Denmark in November of 1990. If you read up on it, this was like a big, critically panned movie nobody liked it

it had fans because like this is a perfect 16 17 year old boy movie you know what I mean and like just yeah that DVD come to our friends basement and watch the movie what it must have been was the VHS TV it had to be a home video maker because you assumed because it's Harvey it would be a big

but it's not Harvey it's not Harvey backed out Harvey was gone already this franchise pictures that's why Miramax is not on the front of the movie It's, yeah, franchise pictures, which I was like, oh, man, that takes me back. Seeing logos you don't see anymore, but they were like smaller houses, you know, it's always kind of nice. Not to compliment Harvey, but maybe he could have made some editing choices. Maybe the movie would have been a little bit better had he stayed on it.

I don't get the mementoness of it. We have to, we're going to like go do the crime. Well, the crime is done now. We're going to go back and show it. It is an obnoxious way to tell a story in a movie. It really is. It is. And what I realized last time, again, this was, this was the end of the end. of it for me.

Like, when I, when that sequel came out, I think Cabin and I watched it and then we did it for the show. Like, that was like, oh, man, that movie was terrible. And then, like, I never went back to the original. I was like, it sucks, but it's kind of mine. And I know that it's kind of mine. And I'll just leave it over there. You don't want to turn over that rock in modern day.

And I did. And we broke up last night. That was it. So this was the first time you watched it since we did the episode before that. Because, yeah, I similarly, I was like. Trying to do the math, like, did I watch this? Because definitely in college, like, multiple times. Like, it wasn't just that basement screening.

In 2005, maybe. So we're talking, you know, 21 years. It would have been a long time ago. But back to the structure thing, it's because it's an action movie where the action is bad. So you want to talk around the action to make it seem like the action is more ever than it actually is. And William Defoe is very good. Yes. So we got him to be the crutch for these scenes for him to like.

do his conducting and act outs. Explain scenes that you shot and are about to show me. Like, whatever the fuck, like, this is why I get a little testy about the Pope Fiction Memento shit when you talk about this. Because like, there was nothing, there was no meaning behind. No, you're right. Like to Nolan, there was a reason you did Memento the way you did Memento. For Tarantino, he had so much culture to funnel into that dialogue.

The Star Trek joke is maybe the only actual cultural thing in there. Everything else is just like, oh, you're a fucker. Yeah, you a fucker too. I fucking hate you, you shit and fuck. And I think Mementor came about like a year after this or something. So Christopher obviously was in Denmark with a bunch of popcorn watching this movie. Oh, my God, he's got no intention at all for using the format this way. It's just throw everything at the wall, baby.

Like make it look cool and maybe kids will glom. And also these long cuts to black are so irritating. They add like, they add a full five minutes to the movie. The fucking, the title sequence is incompetent as well. They do fade ins and outs throughout that entire thing. I'm like, I guess this is, it's the feeling of being Irish. Yeah, like you're blacking out. Rolling blackouts.

Oh, I'm coming to again and I'm still at work. Oh, who's this? Oh, it's a large woman. I better fucking hate her for some reason. That sequence, even as a kid, I will say, I'll, I'll, give myself some credit. I was always like, well, that's a little extreme. You know, I was just like,

oh, that's not exactly. Well, you know, cool. She's, uh, she, fuck you for having this job that I also have. I will punch this woman in the face opening credits, our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. She kicks them in the nerds first because she, oh, okay,

she started it. Hang on a second. She started it. I was getting confused because this movie starts with them being badass in church. Oh, I didn't remember. You're talking about them working at the fucking meat packing place. I was like, who is getting kicked in the dick and church. No.

I forgot about it. The Irish could buy a mass, by the way. This whole thing where it's like, this visiting priest is like, what are these two fucking assassins doing, getting up on the altar? And then like, the priest who runs that church is like, no, no, no, these are the saints. Let them

be. But it's a weird thing where it's like they're not the saints. They haven't become the saints. So why do they have this fucking carte blanche to go up on the altar? Like, big no-no. They're just tradcath, you know? The priest respects that. He's getting the kids into the church again. And, you know, he's, what's more

Trad Cath than being drunk all the time and having guns? I mean, it's, it's an underground scene thing, right? It's like, these guys already knew of them as the Saints. They just knew them, you know, we, but nobody else knows about this until the fucking papers call them in. But, like, the, the incident with these Russian guys is their transformation. They're not doing shit before them. It's just the camera, right?

It's just the camera. It's just the paper that makes them call themselves. Yes. So then why are they calling themselves this? Why are they being called this in this scene? No, no, no, I don't think they are being called. I'm saying they walk into this church with this air about them and this access to get to the altar that tells me that this priest is at least aware that these dudes are somebody. But the beginning of the movie, after that tells us that there are nobody until they throw a fucking toilet on a guy.

The beginning scene, the priest, visiting priest has just seen a red rochman last night and wants to be. to tell the story of Kitty Jenevese, is that correct? Oh, that, yes, yes, yes. Which, I mean, it's a real story, and also, like, she was a queer woman, which... That's the part we always leave out of that story was... The neighbors also didn't help that woman because she was gay. Yeah, exactly. Which is great to then

beat up a likely queer woman in five minutes. Right, right? You didn't listen to that story just very well. They walk out during this, right? So maybe they missed the part where the priest is like, and of course, kitty's rotting in hell. Where she should be. Next to Gandhi. The part two.

of the story that we miss. So they walk right up to the altar and like sort of kissing the feet of Jesus or something? Yeah, which is not what you do. I don't know. You're not allowed to do that. And also like the whole point if you're a Catholic, which I was and sort of, I guess sort of. We, dude, we can't wash it out of us.

I'm sorry. You've got to wait for the Eucharist. That's the, that's the whole point of the whole of showing up. If you leave before that, it doesn't count. No, yeah. You've got to fucking eat that shitty cracker or it doesn't count. Oh, but isn't it a little cool guys? I mean, come on.

It is a little, you know, brazen. You're right. out of church early is pretty cool. I have to say. That's why as a kid, you like the saints. You wish you could just walk in like king's shit at church or school. Totally. Swinging dick down the aisle up to the altar. Just go up to the priest and be like, leave the queer pot out of the story. Leave it out.

Steve, did you do like mass on St. Patrick's Day? We never went to church on St. Patrick's Day. Too drunk? I mean, we were pretty light Catholics. I would have to go because it was a Catholic school So I'm sure like I would get dragged as part of school But like we would go on Sundays not all the time Oh is that right

We were more of a Christmas and Easter kind of family Oh wow You're gonna be living with kitty down in hell Definitely I mean you were getting it five days a week Exactly I mean but we were there pretty much every Sunday Until we got a little older

Like once I did my confirmation The fucking wheels started kind of falling off the wagon a bit Which is you know Because it's like you give me that option man. Yeah. Like, either I'm a soldier in God's armor

or I can stay home and sleep in. Guess what? They give you a, I was never confirmed so we dropped out very early. So is there a rum spring a period after that?

I don't think so. No, it's just more like time served. Like, I guess I did all the stuff, steps, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, now it's on to deathbed repentance. That's exactly.

That's why the Scientologists always keep that next step away from you. Right. You don't have that moment. Yeah, because it's like, you know, you get that sacrament of confirmation

and then it's like, The next sacrament is maybe you're going to get married. Yeah. And then you're fucking dead and there's your last right sacrament. But there's a long break in sacraments. So let me ask you guys. So because they don't really have a lot of the culture stuff, as I said. Shocked.

They do have a lot of this, a lot of the Bible shit and the church shit. They like kind of just, is any of it to your ears clever? Or like even fake clever in the way that like a Tarantino ripoff would be fake clever. Well, the thing that they think is clever is saying Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit in Latin. And then I'm going to fuck your shit up. Yeah, that's the end of their like family prayer or whatever that shit is. Could you imagine? Like a murderer or a hitman saying a really cool prayer before shooting. Oh, wait.

Wait a second. I think I have that at home. It's much better, too. Yeah, neither of the hunter. It's great. This episode's brought you in part by Rocket Money. Folks with St. Patrick's Day here. You imbibed, you enjoy your time. And then you say, y'all, let me get some entertainment or whatever.

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We Hate Movies. But yeah, you know, this guy is like, we must all fear evil men. We must also fear the indifference of good men. And you know, just right from that, you know, little speech that he's given there, what this movie is.

What we need in this movie, this is the Punisher without the family and I. which makes the Punisher kind of a rude dude in my opinion, you know what? Not good. You need some sort of like, and I know it's Pat, but like some

avenging of something. They killed my sister. It's got to do something. These aren't characters. No, they're not. They're just two homeless brothers that enact revenge. The end. We don't have any other characteristics about them at all. You just get done doing this whole speech about

like really what's really wrong is when good people are indifferent. These guys are indifferent to anybody who is not them or in their club. Whatever happens to them, who fucking cares is their opinion? Exactly. The only reason they even get started is because they're bummed that fuckass's bar is getting shut down. Oh no, not fuck ass.

Guys, I can't believe that poor man from Fraggle Rock was dragged into this. I look it up and it's him. Is it? Yeah. No, I thought you were just joking because he looks like him. It's him. Holy shit. Yeah.

Poor fuckass. And wasn't he fucking called Doc in that too? He's credited his dog. Here, is there a shared world? Is the Blarnie stone down with the Fragles? The fucking fragles down there. We got to eradicate all the fucking fragles. Get the feck and fragles out of here.

Oh, I got zapped into the Blarnie. I'm zapped into it I am. Blow your friends away. Take it for another day. Punch a lady in the face. So yeah, we see, I guess they have to hit the early mass because they got to get to work. Yes.

They work in this meatpacking place. And they're like, oh, they're told, Here's this new person who's going to be... First is grab ass because we're like slapping around each other with raw meat. We got to do it, too. Because you know what? These guys have fun. Exactly.

These guys have fun at work. By the way, don't ever get your meat at the supermarket. That's what you're eating. Some Irish guy was throwing it around and smacking his brother with it. He got fucking Norman Reis's beard hair on the stage. It's going to be fucking disgusting. Just go to the butcher. Costs a little more.

I know. I don't know. What's going on there? Norman Rebus beard hair might, make it a little bit more manly. You know, you might fail to sell that up. Can we man up this steak a little bit, please? Also, it's the other way around Sean Patrick Flannery gets hit with the meat.

Sean Patrick Flannery is Connor and Norman Redis is Murphy. Sure. They're just the saints. I'm not going to know their fucking name. There's no difference between the two brothers. I was reading the Wikipedia, there's always a little character descriptions. Well, Connor is the one that usually plans the things and has more of the movie references where Murphy is more adaptable and interested in.

I was like, none of this is in the movie. Sounds like that Wikipedia entry was written by someone who has a soft spot for this movie. It doesn't put that out there. But yes, this woman comes in. And their boss is just like, hey, this is, you know, whomever she's going to be. I thought it was Rusty Swimmer for a second. It's not. But by the way, props to Rusty Swimmer, fucking awesome appearance on this week's episode of The Pit.

There you go. Oh, really? Hell behind. But she's like, you know, just a large woman. And she's like, she's like, she's like, she's. She sees these two grab-ass brothers. She rolls her eyes, which she should. Of course.

Like, oh, I got to work with this now, these children. I'm just trying to fucking start this job of the meatpacking plan. I got four kids at home. I got a support or whatever. Does this incident happen before or after they're making jokes about, like, when wife beating was okay. That's about to happen right now. I was going to say.

It's like, hey, here's this new, your new report at work. She's going to shadow you. And then he says rule of thumb. And then she comes out, you know, I guess, I guess you could say rather aggressively like well rule of thumb is actually you know where that comes from it comes from an old wife beating thing where you could you're you're already saying it less aggressively than she yes exactly and not that she deserves to be punched in the face but I feel like she's coming in a bit too hot right

she's starting an argument she's like you know rule of thumb was you used to be able to beat your wife with a stick no larger than your thumb and then is and then Murphy I believe the son Patrick Leonardi Saint one or two yeah oh it should be a rulerist then shouldn't it that you can't do much damage with a thumb now can ye and You just imagine this motherfucker's smoking cigarettes at the typewriter, you funny fucker, Troy, you funny motherfucker. Tap to teap tap to tip tap type. I had to serve a lesbian at a bar last night. I'm going to get her back in my screenplay.

And my screenplay, I punched her in the face, which is what I wanted to do with the bar that night. Tibby tap tap tap to tap. There is so much of him like reliving. This is definitely like reliving grievances. And I'm the winner in the thing. There's just a legal pad of instances this guy experienced in South Boston. and grievance. And then I'll get them into the back room and I'll solder them.

Oh, sorry, manifesto, not the screenplay. Whoopsie, Daisy. Almost put the homemade dynamite recipe at the screenplay. I meant to put that in manifesto. That should be, God, I need, I need, you know what, I need a yellow legal pad and a white legal pad. Then I understand which is which. Where the fuck did I put my two kill?

Oh, oh, dear God. Oh, dear God. Bebo, boppa, beep boob. Yeah, Harvey, I don't read that most recent draft, man. Just give you two seconds of facts. You knew one, brother. You know what, second thought, two white notepads, and I'll put one and two on the top. I like just to keep them nice and wide.

That'd be better. He would have done less harm to society had he acted out his manifesto and became a saint and shot people. But this is like, this is an infection. This movie's an infection that spans generation. Eric's totally right, because if you just went about his business in South Boston, we wouldn't have to hear about it until a fucking Netflix documentary 20 years after the fact. Troy Duffy's a guy I should just hear about on the news. That's it.

Just briefly, you know. There's a... Not even the top story. Oh, yeah, just like weather, sports, four dead in South Boston. Well, that's... Little store robbery. Troy Robert Duffy. I was convicted of...

I call bullshit from the beginning. They say South Boston. I'm like, come on. It's South. Say Southie, you little. Yeah. It's kind of surprising that they don't do that. Exactly.

I'm just like, why not say it? I'm not even sure he's from... He at least was living... Garment bagger? Was living in L.A. The incident that inspired him to make... this movie was in Los Angeles what he's living with his brother in Los Angeles.

Born in 1971 in Hartford, Connecticut. It's close enough. He's New England. I'll give it to them. Hartford is very different than South East. No, but it's New England, you know. Sure. It's a Ben Affleck kind of style, you know.

Heart Scrabble South Boston. Steve, you mentioned the incident. What incident inspired this? You seem to know a lot about this stuff. I just was reading Wikipedia on the Uber-in. So, FYI. More than me. Yeah.

Apparently he and his brother were living in a department building in Los Angeles. It was downtrodden and he saw them, like what he called the mob, like go into a dead guy's pockets for more money or something of drugs. And like him and his brother would always joke like, wouldn't it be cool if we could do something? And then he's like, well, I got an idea, brother. What if I did this? What? Rob the dead. No, just stop. Avenge the dead man.

He's evil man. The dead guy don't need that change. Seriously. He probably died of a drug overdose, which he richly deserved. He enjoyed it. So, yeah, the fight goes on here. This lady kicks one of them in the nuts there. You get this foreman, oh, shit, which leads me to believe this is not the first time these dudes have gotten into some sort of kerfuffle on the floor.

She's a grab ass it every day. They punch her in the face. That's how it ends. She gets knocked at the nerds. He punches her in the face. The other one punches her in the face. And it's like, all while this, like, beautiful Irish flute and drum music is playing. and it just makes me so mad.

Because that music is so incredible. And like, it just, to set it against getting kicked in the nuts. You heard what she said. We can beat her. Of course, you heard what she said, the joke. We can get kicked the shit out of her. Because that's why it's okay, right? Because she's, like, bigger than that.

Exactly. And we need to be clear, what Chris is doing is just as good at what Sean Patrick Flannery does and Norman Reed. These accents ain't great. And they seem to come and go a little bit. They definitely do. Yeah. Billy Connolly, later in the movie, barely trying to know. not be Scottish, by the way.

So, yeah, we see this apartment that they live in really quickly. This is like, I'm not even going to say flop house. I mean, this is literally an abandoned building. They're sleeping in a bathroom. Oh, the Ninja Turtles just left. Smells like wet rat in here. We'll have to fumigate. Love sleeping in the

sewer, though. Go, saints. Because, I mean, at least, and again, at least the Ninja Turtles aren't murdering with immunity. Yeah, you could beat people. You want to beat up the mob, tie them up with a note for the police. That's So you're saying you'd love to see the saints like beating people up with like fucking kilbasa and whatnot?

Yeah, that's nice. No weapons just fun. No, that's the Polish saints. Oh yeah, we're in Chicago, the Polish saints. Me and Steve. Oh, geez, looks like he was beating the death with a sausage dare. Look at that, oh boy. Two knocks and two different sausages in the back of the head right there.

See, it couldn't have been one guy holding two sausages. The angle doesn't work. It's got to be two guys holding one sausage a piece. You're telling me there's another one that's six sausages. An old fellow with six sausages. Sausage Claus is real. Always has been, Eric. Oh, my God.

So, yeah, it looks like they live in like a jail bathroom or like a locker room bathroom. Real shithole. We see them, they go to the bar, I believe. We go to Fuckass's Establishing. This is where we meet David Delarocco. Oh. Wow. Why is this guy?

Because he's a friend of Troy Duffy. That's why he's in this. But, but, but why is this guy who's named David Della Rocco playing a character in this movie named David Deloocco? Because he wouldn't respond unless he had his own name. Now, Mr. Della Racco. Oh, my, I didn't even put that together until looking at the IMDB. I don't think I knew that this actor's name actually was David Delarocco. And then I'm looking at I'm d'B and I was like, oh, that's really stupid.

You're right, though. It must have been like. It said he was a childhood friend. or whatever. But like, well, the dog isn't going to respond to comic

because his name is Rocket. I mean, it's also, I mean, like the way that when we do, you know, you know,

on screen live or anything and Eric puts the little quotation marks around Eric. Yeah. That, you know, you have to separate it a little bit.

You have to turn it into a character. That's true. We do also get this very annoying trope that happens like four, not nearly enough.

Like the little like crime stat card that comes up for every criminal for some reason. We get this right here. I hate it. When Rocco comes in is the first instance of it, right? Boston Italian Mafia, Yacaveta family, status, package boy, comma, numbers runner.

Yeah. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody sees him fucking deliver a package in this movie. And we're all going to get, we're all going to learn about the character in five minutes anyway, so just don't even bother. Exactly. But he is a huge hit at this bar. Like I, this movie sucks. I don't care for it.

But man, a greeting like this, a norm p. Anderson-esque greeting that Rocco gets at this bar is pretty sweet. He's, hey, fuck, I get me a beer like, oh, it's Rocco. And one of these patrons, you better fucking believe, is Triduffy. Oh, is he getting in there, I'm sure he is. And Rocco's essential for the cultural virus we're setting up here. You got the New England with the Irish, and of course, you know, the Northeast, the Italian, so you need to have a good Italian guy so every 15-year-old can get addicted to this.

It's important. Everybody needs to see themselves on screen. And Rocco, who dies in this movie, comes back in the second, if you'll recall. Or a very long sequence, like a stand-up routine about grievances, about like modern men these days. What? Yes, that's right. I don't think I even saw that movie. It's like black box theater monologing.

It's awful. You've never seen it? I don't think I saw too. I was not on the episode. Yes, no. What, how do they get around him being dead? Is he just a ghost doing stand-up? It's a dream where a ghost does stand-up, I believe.

about you. I think I saw a Star Trek about that one. Because it's just like, yeah, the old man, men with their tight jeans and metrosexuality or whatever he's talking about

in that thing. This is incredible because I don't remember a lick of that number two. I haven't gone back and none of it survived. It's them like

they're still with old pop Billy Connolly like really fucking hammering in or whatever. I don't remember what the plot is. I do remember Rocco coming back in dream like

ghost form at one point. Yeah. No Defoe returning. No, DeFoe back in the end. Because Julie Benz is like his protege. That's right. I don't remember. That's right.

Again, I'm not even, I'm not, not, I'm not, I wouldn't watch up with twice and the last one is 12 years. But I do remember at the end, Julie Benz is like, you know who my benefactor is? Then Will of Defoe is like, hey. That's right. That's right. Oh, fuck. That sucks. And like setting up Bundak Saints 3, which still, as of now, never happened.

And by the way, what a fuck up? Like, Bundak Saints 3, the Holy Trinity. Like it's right there. It's right there. But everybody hated this guy so much. I wonder if it is Billy Connolly's like, that's enough. I did two of these fucking things. That's enough of that.

Well, I mean, these days he's got like Parkinson's and whatnot. I don't think Al Duce is coming back for three. In the run-up, I bet. Before any of that happened, he was like, no thank. Hey, AI movie. Just make it with AI. According to the IMDB, there is a Boondock Saints 3 and Troy Duffy is no longer involved in it.

And it's just. Well, then the magic's already lost. and Flannery, just they're kind of shepherding it and also doing I think the studio that made the last couple of extended movies are involved they're trying to make it like, are trying to like do a like and then there's new

saints that they're training. You know, they're going to have a team. God damn it. I could see doing that because it's all about IP right? Yes, exactly. This is a known movie. Well, like how? You buy out the shitty guy and then you just, wait a second, wait a second. How like sought after and like

valuable is this IP? It's a great question. How valuable could it possibly be? None of the IP is really valuable. They make, they were remaking just anything. But with points like that, like why not make, I don't know, death warrant the series? Like just random J-CVD titles just, oh yeah, no, that's a series or no, that needs a sequel. No, it does it. None of it needs a sequel. You're just, you're manifesting bloodsport the series coming soon today. That's okay.

Whatever. If it's IP we like, it's okay. It's based on all of Frank Dukes's lies. Each episode is a different line That I might be interested in. This episode, this is what I was elected. President of the United States. That's a great idea. Oh, yeah.

But so, whatever. It's called the wild world of Frank Dukes and it's all just fake stories. Not even shit that he made up, just like, we, because we're obviously writing the show. Of course, yeah. We make up things that Frank Dukes did supposedly in his life. And it's like fucking quantum leap.

Every fucking week, it's a new location, new situation he's in doing stuff. Boy. Honestly, he was the one. He created DeBepos, you know? Well, I woke up one in a tiger cage. The whole episode is like, Frank Dukes versus a tiger, and he beats it.

Ziggy says he can't jump it to you lie about the kumetat. So, yeah, we're at this bar. Here comes these. Fuck us, like, I got to close the bar. And he's got Tourette's. You know, and that's, he says, fuck ass. It's kind of a joke. But so, yeah.

Yeah, the Russian mafia has bought the building. they're going to close the fucking bar for fuckass. And again, like, they want to get to a bar fight about this. A bar fight makes sense, murdering the guys they do in self-defense. But again, like, I need to see, like, oh, look at the drugs coming in the neighborhood. That's changing it. It's got to be something. Like, the idea that, I don't know, strong-arming a bar, this thing happens.

It's fucking metropolitan real estate. Oh, but you're, mm-mm, because you cannot, you don't want to alienate the people who are most going to be interested in this movie, people who are on drugs. You do not want to be playing that game, man. You don't want to do that. That's true. So the little tag comes up. Ivan Chekhov. Russian crime syndicate position.

Soldier. Thanks a lot, man. I couldn't fucking figure out what this dude was doing here. Favorite Ramon's record? Rocket to Russia. Dude, excellent idea. Just a little fun fact at the bottom. A little yearbook.

Trivia stats and whatever. Suicide squatted up a little bit here. You can put some neon lights around it. I don't care. Exactly. Ivan Chekhov. Favorite movie. Animal House.

Pet peeves long lines at the bank. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's fun. Me too. Honestly, relatable. Me too. I don't like it. Animal House does it better. They do it at the end. Precisely. That's where you leave that shit, frankly. But yeah, this is the Star Trek thing is right

here. This here is McCoy. We find a spark. We have ourselves in a way team. This guy's like, Yanyu's Nayao. I never watched Star Trek. I don't get joke. Yeah. And they just, he's like, everyone leave bottom now. And they're trying to be in their boondock, saint'sy

way, like, oh, come on, let's have a drink or whatever. And it just like, yeah, like you can see things sort of coming to you ahead, and then it just fades out and you just get written and directed by Troy Duffy. God, Gano. Oh, bough, bannardana, nah.

Hey, fuck ass. You got any meat I could slap these boys with. I need some meat. It's been hours since I slapped someone with a steak. Got some kibasa back there. So, yeah, so It's like the next morning we've got all these detectives trying to figure out what went down in this alley. This is we are introduced to Willem Defoe showing up to some rocking guitar music. This dude is announced in this movie.

And William DeFoe's never looked shorter than he has in this. He's like tiny in this movie. Very tiny. His hair is great. I was just going to say great looking hair. I like to suit too. It gives him some air. Exactly.

This is FBI agent Paul. Semecker. Yeah, I'm Paul Semecker. What do you think of that name? Kind of sounds like Packard. Just because it's the only thing I remembered from this movie after I saw it the first time, when this happens, I literally in my house, with my dogs, only there to witness it, said, there was a toilet fight! If we did it every time, that'd be great, yeah. And so, yeah, he is the, works in the FBI Organized Crime Task Force or whatever. we meet this guy Detective Greenlee

who's like the big dumb motherfucker Did you guys look on IMDBD? A proto Bill Burr over here? Yeah, he sort of looks like Yeah, like a knockoff Patty Considine Kind of also This dude's name, this actor's real name Yes it is.

Is Bob Marley? Yeah. What? How about that? Is he also just a friend of Troy Duff? He's a comedian, right? A stand-up comedian, you can obviously tell that this guy is just bebop and it's scatting

all over this movie. And then when you look up like his credits on IMDB, you're like, yeah, you're a stand-up comedian. Yeah, because it's just like, you know, special carpool lane or whatever, those kinds of things. And I just found it in my notes, too. This was a line that Friends of ours quoted all the time, but this dude says it right here when he's like, you know,

being flippant with Willem Defoe at the crime scene. And he's like, oh, there's a dead body here. Where are you going? Nowhere. Oh, right. Where you going nowhere used to be said far and wide. I remember this now. Far and wide back of the old college days.

But he's, you know, he's just very stupid. And Willem Defoe's like, why don't you go get me a fucking cup of coffee? Dude, I really, I did that was very good. That's very, very creepy. I thought he was here. Why don't you get me a coffee? A coffee. Get me a bagel.

I despise that shit, like in movies and TV. It's so fucking dumb. You've got to have them do something. Yeah, that's fair. I'm okay. I'm standing around looking at a broken toilet. I'm okay with happening to Greenlee. And you could get me a couple of, uh,

Double A's for the CD Walkman here. I'm running low here. I also am I going to figure out what happened at this crime scene if I don't put my Walkman on and listen to Opera while I do it. Because I'm smart, you understand? Opera makes you smart. It's like playing chess. And, you know, Defoe is asking, you know,

if there's witnesses or whatever. And he says, this is an Irish neighbor. I'm surprised you even got a phone call. Again, Defoe is like, it's right. This movie, you ever get the old, the joke of remake a movie with Muppets with one character

you need DeFoe and all the rest of this being Muppets would be kind of or the Fragles actually Yeah I'm working with the Muppets on my next movie It's gonna be sexy as fun Honestly pick pick your puppet Any kind of puppet you got

Even those UK ones That look really grotesque Continue the joke Yes everyone's a Muppet Except for fuckass and Yeah Defoe I like that idea I'm going to hit you with this toilet

but hiya. But yeah, this was no gangland assassination. And then we get like, he's able to like reconstruct in his head what's going on. This is like the kind of FBI dude we're dealing with here. By the way, now you're just reminding me of the fucking happy time murders. Oh, God, that was. Jesus episode.

Remember all the come? There was so much comment. I feel like we are the four people that were watching that movie. I don't even know people who listen to the show watch that movie. I don't believe it. Yeah, there are dozens of us who have seen the Happy Time. murders. I will say that the toilet scene again, I'm a recovering

boondock saints guy and I've closed the door. It's a bad movie. I do think this is the best set piece in the movie, the toilet one. Oh, sure. It's all down here from the hill from here. I mean, it's insane. It's a scene that looks kind of cool. The one where they're throwing it off the roof. Yeah, it's a stunt. It's a stunt. It's a stunt. It is.

And I just think it's kind of weird that the FBI and the police are like, well, you're allowed to kill someone with a toilet. Like, no, that's fine. It's fine. You're free to I feel like there should be a little more to it than that. Yes. It's not legal to just kill someone with the toilet. But have you ever met people as cool as the Saints, Eric,

that would make you want to forgive it immediately? I've yet to meet someone as cool as to say. I wish I knew fucking anything about the Boondock Saints, by the way. I wish I knew if they liked playing video games. What happened to their mother? You want me to write a movie? Fuck you. That's the Troy Duffy fucking experience.

It's fucking here's me just cursing a bunch of times. and vaguely being like, yeah, all of you are under me, fuck you. You, I think, nailed it on letterbox, Chris, when you said that most of this movie is basically like grown men yelling fuck up towards the sky. And it's completely true. Like, so much of the script is just, fuck! It kills me. Every time I come back to this fucking movie. We see the Saints at the ER here.

Fuckass shows up. They're covered in blood. We got these nuns in the ER. What are we saying about this, Troy Duffy? They were in back streets beating each other up over up. Seriously, a nun fight club got out of hand this week. A dice game got out of hand. Jesus Christ.

Or it would be cool to be like, oh, what happened to those nuns? The mafia beat them up because the mafia is so bad. Exactly. The mafia was shaking down to church. Do say that the last night was St. Patrick's Day, right? So maybe the nuns were just drunk. Oh, yeah. Drunk and disorderly.

Yeah. The last call. Get out of here, none. Exactly. I just realized, too, that like, St. Patrick's Day in Boston, like, no wonder you have to get started so early. because they have like a really early last call in that scene. Right, it's like 7 p.m.

We're closing up. I think it's like 11 o'clock or something. That might as well be 7, dude. Yeah, it's crazy. But yeah, I just wish I knew why they're there. But to your point, that's a great way to exemplify, like, the crime in this town just got so out of control. Now we're beating up nuns, man.

Look at that. And you know what? You might have had some questions because, you know, the saints, they got away with crime. And that's wrong. That is wrong. But you know what? They hang out with these cancer.

kids. All they really want is to make kids laugh. And that's really, that's sweet. Cute magic tricks and what have you. That's cute. So Defoe is pissed off before he actually goes to

and we interrogate the Saints in the second but he's pissed off because someone has leaked to the press. What's been going on? I really like this. Witch donut munching, barrel ass pud pulling sissies leak this to the press.

Oh man, he's fucking pissed. That's great. But yeah, he's mad. because, yes, the story in the paper makes these dudes out to be saints and heroes when he doesn't. He's like, these two are not heroes. And I'm sitting there like, okay, you're like, you know, berating this room of detectives or whatever. I wish I saw what fucking happened already. Why are you so mad?

Oh, do we not see what? No, you don't see it because we don't see what happens until he's interrogating. We have to flashback to it. Because he's like, yeah, well, I'm a professional police officer right now. They're long gone by now. And like the saints walk into the fucking precinct. Yeah, it'll be an onion bagel with a little cream cheese. How about that?

How does this story make them heroes in the press? I don't understand it. Right? Like there was a bar fight. Some Russian got hit with a toilet seat or something. And that's the new story. They're heroes. Wait, you don't fundamentally hate all Russians?

What's wrong with you, Eric? What the fuck you? What's your fucking problem? A double agent. Usually mafia members are not really known to the public. They just don't like guys like, oh, this guy worked at a meat placking plant and this guy worked, you know what I mean? Like owned a bar somewhere and they're really in the mafia. If it's like a head dude, you know, the public would maybe have heard the name.

But like just some enforcer, like you don't know who this guy. Nobody gives a shit. A toilet fell on who? It would be like with ties to the Russian mafia. Like maybe if we're doing a real piece. If Don Fat Fuck dies, then yes, we get a nice news story. But otherwise, I don't care. These fucking, the Saints fucking headline,

it allows fucking Norman Reedis to take his fucking piss-pour coffee and throw it at the cops and be like, you're blessed. You're blessed. Wouldn't you just beat the ever-loving shit out of this guy? They're loving it. They're clapping like seals with these guys come in.

Because it's that thing too where like this movie takes the position and it's not maybe entirely off base that like all these cops wish that they could be doing what the saints are doing. So that's why they love these guys. Oh, my God. Look at all the crimes they're doing. I wish I could do crimes.

That's the Punisher Skull thing, right? That's what that comes from. Yep, exactly. But so they walk in, Defoe's interrogating them. The saints start speaking Irish to each other right here. But then we learn not only did they grow up like with Irish in the house, they are these polyglots that can speak like fucking eight languages. And that never comes into play once we leave this fucking interrogation rule.

Oh, doesn't it? Yes. Exactly. Right? Make them speak Russian. they can do something with the mob there. Or Italian with the Italian mob, anything? When they're tied to the chair, the Italians are like,

let's speak Italian so they don't know what we're saying. And then they're like, oh, now we know how to get out of the product. Exactly right. He's in the flower pot over there, whatever. Yeah, exactly. I don't know I'm talking like Count Dracula, but you get what I'm doing. Ah, uh, ah, ah, mamma mia. Uh-uh, uh.

And I wish to say, William Defoe is moonily interrogating. Wow, you guys are so great. How'd you do it? I can't believe. Where do you get your ideas from? What's your workout routine? Let me see those abs. Oh, my Lord.

Yeah, I should say at this point, I don't know when it's actually revealed, but like this character is written as gay. Yep, yeah. And this is just the biggest, like, what did you think you were accomplishing here? Two things. Well, one, it alienates him from the other detectives.

And the detectives, if you watch it, I was watching it last night, immediately are doing like, eyes to each other, like the second he walks in, like, oh, this guy's back. Like hand stuff, you know what I mean? Like, they don't go full hand stuff, but it's close to that. Well, they wouldn't be doing full hands stuff. And then they'd be in the same bonus to phone. Well, I'm seeing a limp wrist here or there. Exactly. That kind of thing. I'm sure Duffy thought, like, he was helping because it's like, here's a gay character that's kind of cool.

But it's also you get the back door. And now you can say the F slur a million. Yeah, that's true. You can. But now if you're Troy Duffy, you're like, if he's gay, he can say it. Other people can say it. Because I should have said, he's not just gay. There's multiple examples across this movie that leads me to believe he's like a self-hating gay. Yes, exactly. And that's like, yeah, that's the fucking cheat code. That is the cheat code.

I'm writing a fucking gay guy, but he hates being gay. But he has my perspective. Yes, that's exactly what it is. That's hilarious. Poor Mama Duffy fucking is sitting in her basement trying to get a fucking crossword done. I got it. I found the key. F-bombs, baby!

Yeah, and it's been a while since I've seen it, but a better version, a few years later, kiss-kiss, bang, bang. Much better. Which, it's less at the character's expense. No, yes. It's just a trait of the character. And he's much wittier and, like,

you know what I mean, smarter and stuff like that. And Val Carvel's character doesn't hate himself for being gay, which is what I believe this Defoe character has got going on here. Wow, wow, so you guys are speaking Russian, that's pretty cool. Oh, pretty sweet. Oh, your mother, we don't know anything about.

Talk you all these languages for, I guess reasons? Apparently IMDB scenes deleted on the mother, which give me that because no woman speaks in this movie. Mother, like, still alive or flashback sequences? Apparently she's like not happy with them or something. So she's alive. Yes, she's alive. Steve, I'm sorry.

A woman does get to speak and she's promptly beat the shit out of it. Oh, got it. Oh, and then the other one gets to have one drunken slur after her cat is assassinated, which we'll get it. Dude. Fuck that in a big way. Oh, man. Hey guys, I'm Paul Smek-Smek. I mean, Paul Smoker.

Huh? No, not Paul Smoker. Oh, man, I keep accidentally introducing myself as Paul Smoker. My name is Paul Smoker. Yeah, because it's okay if I do it because the script says I'm gay. Don't worry about it. That's probably the first name in the draft. DeVoe is like, what if his name was Paul instead?

I might do the movie. Troy, great script, but I don't know if I should be playing a character named Pol Smoker. And this is something, again, on the IMDB, who knows, when Harvey was involved, they were really trying to get top flight talent. Apparently, Walberg didn't say no to being one of the brothers because he wanted to do boogie nights. Good idea. Knows off slurs. He probably regrets that to this day. He probably does, actually.

Hey, pro, do the saints beat up on any Vietnamese grosses? What's going on there? Vietnamese grosses flourish when good men do nothing. Go for yourself. See, that's what I would say in the movie. a boondock say but uh stalone was was they were trying to get stalone for smacker really which uh stillone yeah i'm a good guy now he's okay yeah uh i'm not doing the movie yeah exactly there was a fly fly flay let me put some up in my headphones man while i solved his crad

yeah he was like kind of okay with the script and then he gets to like the third out and he's like what's this man oh you could dress me up like the lady gremlin and i go into the mafia I don't know, man Maybe you get like a William Defoe party Shepard. He says the opera. What if he listens to Ted Dugent? I know, Chad Dugent.

Catch Grudge Vos. But we do finally see the Russian. The Russians, we see a little more of the fight where in Sean Patrick Flannery burns one of the Russians' ass with liquor or whatever. Yes, we light this dude's ass on via this dude Chekhov. after they do like a double Johnny Cage on this guy. Because they both drop to the ground and he gets a double punch to his big Russian balls.

Pretty crazy. It's pretty sick. And I mean, also like, yeah, of course these guys are coming back. You just did genital mutilation on this dude. You think it's just his ass getting burnt? Yeah. What I love about this too, because yeah, you see like they prop him up. He's belly down on the bar.

They put a bunch of like whiskey on his ass and light it on fire. Fuckass has no problem with anything that's going on. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go see if my old friendly dog needs any assistance. See if those weird creatures in my basement need any help. I still can't believe it's him. I can't, but dude, I swear to God. I thought you were joking because he just looks like it. Then I double-checked just now.

It's him. God damn. Is he still with us? No. He wasn't the sequel if I believe. Oh, fuckass is definitely the sequel, yes. Because I remember you having some, in the episode, some outbursts about like, and then there's fuckass.

And I was like, yeah, fuck ass. Well, because of all the people they get back, they had to get fuck ass back. They had to do it. They had to do it. But yes, then we see. the Russians come back to their shitty warehouse fucking resident evil apartment that they're living in. God damn, dude. Yeah, you better search this place for monsters, man.

Wait, is this the scene where there's like, God makes them bust together? No, that's coming up after this. Okay. Which is an amazing sequence. But, yeah, like, they handcuff Sean Patrick Flannery to this toilet, right? And then they're going to kill Norman Redis as the idea. In the street. In the street, they're going to go, like, execute or whatever, which, like, you're in this pseudo. abandoned. No, you're in this abandoned

building. Like, just do it there. Yeah, whatever, man. Why you go out in the fucking street to kill this kid? Come on. It wouldn't be cool to kill him right in front of his brother as opposed to let him... Exactly, yeah. Like, it's really awfully he's got to experience watching the death of his brother before you then kill him. It's standard mafia practice. And now this is what... Or leave one guy behind, because then

he could do this cool toilet thing. Dude, this toilet rip is straight out of the Incredible Hulk. I don't know how you're getting this toilet out of here. It's Irish rage, dude. Irish rage. And you just see him like... It's like one fluke over the cuckoo's there. Seriously, he's carrying this cumbersome toilet up to the roof of this building.

This is the only action sequence. After breaking his fucking wrists with that shit. Yes. This is the only action sequence with a one, two, three, like notes to it. Like, oh, wow, he picks this up. And then there's also a stunt, which there's almost none. Because these guys just, which we never talk about, have impeccable aim and never miss a shot. And they just fall over.

Yes, that's how an action scene is. Yes, exactly. You're right, though. This is the best part of the movie. Definitely, yes. Like, I think, like, could probably maybe have made a career doing, like, stunt choreography kind of stuff because, like, yeah, this sequence, and then I think also the hotel sequence with the spinning around and everything.

There's, he can kind of capture sort of cool shoot-em-up sequences. And that's what when, as a 17-year-old boy, you're like, that's cool, and they're saying the F word and they're wearing cool jackets, that's a movie. Yeah, exactly. But so, but the crazy thing that was like, he drops the toilet on the one guy. And then he jumps off this roof out of the other guy. And it's like a five-story building. Broke both of me legs, you know, at least.

He would be dead. Yes. He would be, both of them would be dead. He just commits suicide. He kills that guy with the toilet bowl and then he kills himself. It's the beginning of the other guys when the rock is down. Yes, exactly. But badass move right here, though, because like when they're both down on the ground,

Norman Reyes takes the toilet cover and bashes the other dude over the head with it. pretty sweet. Thus murdering him, which is pretty fun. Yeah. And so then they take the bag that we've seen them pass off to fuckass in the hospital already. That bag has like money and guns in it and whatever that they stole off these dudes. And Paul's right, wow, I can't believe you did it. Oh, the toilet. That's amazing. Wow, that sounds a little premeditated. All right, your boys are free to go. But, oh, but ooh, the piss smells frothy though. Oh, maybe I'll hunt them this way. It's at least manslaughter. It has to be at least manslaughter. There has to be a

trial of something. You know what I mean? Like, we're not going to prosecute. Also, I'm in the FBI for some reason. We got to judge dread rules for us FBI boys. And there's a funniest joke where like all the cops are like, oh, the press are outside. It's okay for if me, you got to ask your mom if your friends want to sleep over. It's okay with me though. Yeah. Oh, hey, they'll sleep over at the police station. You ho.

Did I mention I'm gay in this movie? There's a lot of polls here. Keeps you in The police chief comes out with Defoe And it's the briefest fucking press conference He's just like Yeah the McManus brothers Will not be a charge with any crimes

Have a good day everybody They're gonna have an epiphany In the in the jail cell tonight This is an absurd scene That I totally forgot about Oh they have a shared dream right here Sleeping in the police station Wet dream

The water drips down on them Like a baptism you understand Yeah dude All evil must be distrushed destroyed so that good may flourish. This is when every serial killer hill hears before there are things. This is the son of Sam, it's just not a dog. Yeah, sometimes it's a

dream, sometimes it's a dog, sometimes it's God, whatever. Sometimes it's a talking bush. Yeah. Sometimes it's a talking toilet. They're all horrors, Connor. You have to kill them. Kill all the horrors. Okay. They both shoot up sweaty as hell as if they've just released something. Dude, it is

crazy. Yeah. So the next morning they are treated with a fucking round of applause. Oh boy. by all these cops and whatever, and they're called the Saints of South Boston, which again, why would they be considered saints at this point? They didn't save anyone but themselves.

They just killed some Russian guys that may or may not have been in the mafia. It has to be a thing where, like, they see the same dudes later and they're like fucking with a lady or a guy, like they're roughing somebody up, and then they'd save that person. Or it's even easier to be like, oh, yeah, it killed a bunch of scumbacks.

This guy's wanted for five rapes. That guy's wanting for ten. You know, like something like that. Yes, exactly. But that, no, they have to feel it in their bones. They have to have that. When Defoe does that, they're not superheroes, but they're kind of superhero. It's a little speech.

Yeah. The best thing about being a saint to these people is that they're above the law. Right. Yeah, yeah. That is what really, really, and they have special powers. Whenever they want to know something, they know it. So, uh, a, the Russian, uh, that they kill with the toilet has a pager on him. The pager goes off.

There's a number. These dudes call it and they get this information that the big man, this big mafioso guy is coming in from Sarajevo. And he's going to be at the Copley Plaza Hotel at 9 p.m. That very night. Yes. And then we see the deleted scene from the devil zone that worked into this movie. Speaking of bad Irish accent.

This is an IRA guy that's got all these guns and they trade in with the money and the other guns for better guns. I don't know. Sure. I don't know. God. on here. Oh, dude.

Stay tuned for Devil's own. So we got there. Rocco goes to see his, you know, Italian mafia boss here. And this is where we meet the fucking rapist hedgehog himself. Ron Jeremy is his mafioso grunt. Vincenzo

La Patsy. Which he's an underboss. Vicenza throw you off a roof. Like he's got a death scene coming up. But like, I kind of need more Ron Jeremy because he's at least interesting to look at as opposed to, this mob boss is giving you nothing. Oh, this guy, Giuseppe

Yaakovetta, played by Carlo Rota, it's nothing. And you know every guy who ever fucking sat for the Sopranos was approached and said no. Like, Steve Sharippa was no, Michael Imperiali was no. Absolutely, and you got this dude. Steve Van Zent, no thank you. This guy was doing fucking car commercials.

I don't know, this guy is, he's not a good performance here, I don't think, but he's this big boss. And we see him, you know, he's yelling on the phone about this, that, and the other thing, he's got this line the 90s are killing Oh man the 90s Can't even kill a god no more

We can't say you're gonna kill him no more I gotta do all this red tape pamper Before I can take out a hit The 90s are killing me Oh God You're barely in the 90s In this fucking movie Exactly dude

But this is where Rocco comes in And they're like oh you're the funny man And this whole tell us a joke And he's telling this fucking Super racist joke It's a weird thing It's a racist joke It's a Spanish slur to start

But then he says black guy. And then the other, both Ron and Jeremy and the other guy are like, no, say the N word. Don't you mean the N word? And Rocko's uncomfortable with it. But he's still, but this joke is racist. You know what I mean? Yeah. The end outcome, it is a racist joke no matter how you frame it.

Exactly. It's really bizarre. It's like this idea of like, oh, if you say the N word, that's not cool in the 90s anymore. But we could kind of have some fun white supremacist jokes on one another. Right. It's the only bad word, Stephen. It's the only one. You're right. You're right. The punchline is envisioning a white America.

And then he wouldn't need a dream. He wouldn't need a wish after that. Yes. He could just have a Coke. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny. I think the president has told this joke. Multiple times. Yeah, it's weird. That's the one he fast forwards to it. He watches the boondock states. He doesn't watch the action secret. It's just the joke. Yes. He has Don Jr. just the joke.

The action's not great, but the fucking stand-up comedy's hilarious. Oh, look, Bob Marley, my favorite comedian. There's a Bob Buddy that's a singer? So they go see this armorer guy who you don't really know anything about, but he just goes like, you know, knock yourselves out or whatever. We see them stocking up all these weapons and whatever. And I feel like there has to be a conversation before the weapons stuck up, where it's like, should we do this?

Yes, we should do this. You know what I mean? That waking up from a dream sequence doesn't count. And the cool thing is there's two of them. So one can be like, do we really want to murder all these people? And the other one's like, yes, of course we do because of this, that, and the other, because of reasons, which would be great. Yeah. And he's like, you've convinced me because of reasons.

And let's do that. That would be great. Exactly. I would love anything. But we get a little, some more snappy snap dialogue. Charlie Bronson's always got a rope, doesn't he? Oh, remember the Charlie Bronson movies. And it's amazing because like Kinjitay.

That's the best one. And here's the one screenwriting thing that actually comes back. Yes. We actually do need the rope. The rope works. What was I going to say about this whole stupid thing? Well, yes, the whole notion of like you're trying to do what Tarantino. The difference is, like, when Tarantino and other, like, more talented writers do a snappy, snap kind of thing,

whatever the snappy-snappiness is doesn't stop the rest of the momentum of the scene or the film. It does here. This fucking stops dead so we can talk about Charlie Bronson movies. And, like, in that case, yes, give me a 10 to midnight, Kinjite, fucking Death Wish. Say a movie. You want to do the pop culture thing. Say a movie because this tells me you've never seen a Charles Bronson movie. You haven't seen assassination, bro?

Come on. Come on now. How much you a bench? Yeah, exactly. It's disgusting. Like you're trying to do a, you're trying to just directly steal a style from someone else. And you can't even steal in a good way. Hate it.

Hate it. And they're like, you know, they're in the elevator now. They've got their cool jackets. They've got the cool ski masks on. And they are a little nervous at this. one. A little nervous here. Well, they don't have like a toilet as a weapon, so they don't know what they're walking into up there, you know. They've just got all these fucking god killers in their cool trench coat. Someone needs to somewhere be like, remember when we used to shoot guns with

Dow all the time and we were amazing at it? I think we're still probably amazing at shooting guns. Like, that would be something. Yep, exactly, dude. But because you're hiding the identity of this father and I guess, you know, because otherwise, if you want to still hide the identity, what would you do? It's a flashback, but like, it's Billy Connolly from the check. pass it down and just two little kids with guns. It's also questioning yourself, having doubt about things like that. That's for the Wilm Defoe's of the world in their parlance.

You know, that's what they, that everything has to just be like, oh, of course I can do it. Of course I can do it. And he's great. Totally great at it. And so they pull their, you know, balaclavas down there and they go to do the thing and we fade to black. Sure.

And then we get this Willem Defoe, getting the call in the middle. the night and he's got a fella over there and this is where he fucking calls this dude the F slur because this fellow wants to cuddle and I'm like fucking it's not doing what you think it's doing

it's really not it's just awful even the dude in the scene with Defoe is like Jesus this sucks like you just tell the guy is like I know I want to be an actor but this fucking sucks I'm gonna do this scene with Willem Defoe and that's cool but this fucking sucks I would like to be in you know close

proximity to Willam Defoe's nipples as much as the next name. But I, this, I cannot sanction. This is not sure. Because the guys is like, I just wanted to cuddle. He's a cuddle. What a F-sler. So, yeah, we have to do the investigation before we can see the scene go down.

So he's in this hotel room. Do you think the Columbine shooters watched this movie? No, this was a fact. Was this before? I mean, after? No, it happened. Like, that's what fuck this movie's theatrical distribution. Oh, really?

It came out like in August and everyone was like, these guys have got jackets and guns and we just, you know what I mean? Like, it's a responsible to put this movie out, which is correct. And, you know, so that's, that hurt, that hurt the movie. But yeah. Yeah. They would have liked it anyway. I feel like, yeah, they definitely, yeah.

They're watching in heaven. God, come on. In hell, in hell. So then we get the flashback as Defoe, like, tells these guys what, you know, what went down here. And it's fine, you know, there's, the thing that sucks is the, the, them falling through and hanging by the rope and it's all cool but it's all started by grab ass

we're getting in a fucking grabass fight in this vent we're trying to do some dieharding through a vent they get in a fight the vent falls and that's how they fall through the ceiling this is all they like to do is grabbing ass just fucking around they don't even take their their fucking vigilante job seriously it's pathetic we don't

and defoe in this sequence is this could be somewhat interesting even in a very 90s way it's like oh my god it's all action movies they No one goes to an event in a real life That that stuff happens in action movies Which is somewhat interesting

If you were like to do like a self-aware Kind of like almost scream for action movies or something Totally Yeah yeah yeah And you remove the fantasy of Last Action Hero Yes exactly That's what you yeah It's like a dude who's only seen action movies

Somehow doing action movie shit In real life Kind of an interesting thing But it just that this part drops immediately So we meet this other guy this Yuri Petrova who's like the head of this Russian crime syndicate I don't know where they found this guy I love him but this this fucking guy this wig

he's wearing David Burns big suit from talking heads stop making sense like and you don't even hear a word this dude says because it's all like Defoe talking or whatever but it's just this guy like gesticulating and making all these like he's yelling at these guys you know but you don't hear a single thing and I'm I don't know why he's it's Paddy It's clearly padded.

It's a little man in a suit where there's like pillows underneath it. They couldn't find a fat guy? I don't know. I'll find you a fucking fat guy by three o'clock this afternoon. He's turning into a Muppet. He's halfway between the transformation. A Muppet bit me last night. Aware Muppet's loose.

Now be careful. The signs will be there. The next day he'll probably want to try and teach someone how to count. and maybe sing a song. Soon enough, he'll be sprouting a fucking black bar out of his one arm, and that's how they used the fucking movie, you see. Puppet pieces.

Has his voice become more joyful, singing? His eyes go completely round. Oh, my God, an American wear a Muppet in Boston? Yeah. Yep, would watch that. Absolutely. But I mean, this is, you want this speech to be like,

And the new drugs shall rain the misery down on everybody. Tell me what we're doing in the mafia today. Why should the tell me as an audience member why these men deserve to die. It's pretty easy in action movie. The saints don't like them. There you go. That's the thing. The justification is because they're in the mafia.

Right, which the screenplay just assumes you know that's the worst people ever, which is horsesh. The saints do not like them. Therefore, they are bad. That's the whole theory. That's it. God told me to kill whoever I specifically don't like. This is God told me to, Alaric Noah.

Fuck you. I win. Wish I was watching that instead of this fucking donkey shit. So they waste all these dudes in the room. Pretty cool, I guess. And then Rocco comes up because Rocco has been like a sign to go there under the impression that he's supposed to like ice a couple of dudes. So Rocco shows up as like a bellboy kind of guy or whatever. And so the saints, again, we've just murdered all these dudes with machine guns in a hotel. We're going to stick behind and do some grab ass

Because we got to fuck with this guy We got to fuck with him The cops definitely ain't coming So we can fuck with him And yeah They they There's nine guys You only have six bullets

What were we gonna do? Laugh the three last three to death Yeah I'm the funny man I'm the funny man You know But also this whole like grabbing this friend That's supposed to be doing the hit you're doing

You could have easily gotten killed Or her you know But I guess they're just having fun Maybe they know that Rocco was that incompetent though. Right. There's no way this dude's pulling it off. But yeah, that is the whole thing. Yeah, you only had like a six shooter.

There's nine guys in here. Like you were being set up by the mafia. He had to be taken out for whatever reason. And this is where I think the thesis of your letterbox review comes in, Chris, because he shouts fuck like 25 times into the air in this movie. Because he realizes they're like, hey, you know, people were trying to kill you. And it's just fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That's how he communicates.

This is how he knows how to speak to people. We do get the prayer where somewhere in here in Shepherds, we shall be. And the Latin stuff and the coins on the eyes. Right. God damn. Yeah, you could put that in a t-shirt, couldn't you? And, you know, this just gives you room for dialogue for Defoe to be like, you know, in Rome. Yeah.

Roman times, they used to do this. Yep. You pay the boatmen. You got to pay to boatmen. Also, these tattoos on the hands. Is Pete Heggsuff? Oh, Hanksets loves this movie. Oh, definitely.

I would just, I would guarantee. He's got a poster of it up at the Pentagon. Let's just say, it's okay to like a movie. We don't want to be drone struck. Sure. I do, the tattoos on the hands look so bad. I don't know if that's an HD issue or whatever. It looks like magic marker right before somebody called action.

It's a little sloppy. Yeah. Yeah. And these inspired tattoos. People have these tattoos. People have these tattoos. I'm not going to knock it. You want to make decisions, whatever.

But I would not get those tattoos. Bro, do it with Matt. magic markers like they do in the movie. You got a shoppy on you. Better idea, dude. So Defoe's got this whole thing that he tells the cops about how, like, since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Russian mafia has been trying to get set up, but they found that they have better luck getting set up in the United States.

So they're doing more business over here, but that's upsetting the Italian mafia. So, like, Defoe has all this info on, like, a possible, like, international mob war that's going to happen here, like, is the idea. Kind of more interesting than the Saints. Way more. Because again, that would be interesting. If there was a nut, like, it turns into that a last man standing with Bruce Willis where it's like two mob factions and one guy in between.

Like, if the Russians are like, the Italians are killing us. The Italians are like the Russians are killing us. And we call it World War Mafia. Yes. But then you realize like what the movie is doing is because Defoe is not up on that this is the saint still and whatever because he has a line. He's like, he says all that stuff about it's going to be the international, a mob war.

Unless I missed something. You miss the saints. Somebody yelling at his room. It's like 50th time through. Oh, that's something. Brian, keep it down. No,

but I won't. I don't have work tomorrow. That's what I'm doing. I called out. Unless I miss something. And then it cuts to Rocco and then Rocco's like, tell her, you could fucking kill anyone you want.

Any bad guy you want. I get in on this. I love killing bad guys. to be fucking great. Three of us being bad guy killers. Bad guy killers, you're in the mafia. What are you talking about? You guys should be in every major city,

which I think was a trailer line. Of course, it's in the end. Oh, that sucks so much. The fucking news footage of people being like, I love him. Oh, dude, yeah. Like he's reactionary Spider-Man.

Yeah, like just fucking. Your friendly neighborhood, Boondock Saints, dude. We go to Rock. They're showing everybody. I love him. We go to Rocco's apartment. We get wasted or wherever he's.

staying, right? I think it's a girlfriend's apartment or whatever. We're getting wasted and we get really excited and yes. This is exactly Pulp Fiction, but in case you're wondering, like, getting really excited, the gun goes off by accident. Yes. Also, though, we're, it's a montage of like we're getting wasted and we're eating pizza. This is some of the absolute worst movie pizza you've ever seen. It's boss boss. Exactly. Exactly. And like, these motherfuckers want to live like Ninja Turtles. Well, guess what?

It is Floppy as shit I've ever Flappy is the day is long The turtle sent us a pizza All those sons of bitches They sent us potato pizza You sons are bitches Rocko's got this line

Where he goes They can suck my pathetic little dick And I'll dip my nuts In Marinera sauce Just so those fat bastards Can get a little taste of home Tibby tap tap tap tap type Wow yeah

I guess yeah Italians like marinara Feel like those fat naked guys running into the Chernobyl tube. Every time I think about this fucking movie again. There were fat naked guys running into Chernobyl tube? You didn't see Chernobyl?

No, I have not. But when they're tried, they have to like strip all the fucking clothes off them to do it. And they're going in this tube to take shit out. And they're just butt ass naked, running into fucking... Yeah, I guess that is what it feels like to watch this movie.

There is a funny thing, though. So they do, yeah, they actually, the gun goes off. This cat explodes against the wall. And there is a funny is it dead. It's just like dude, it's in jello pieces. Come on. But they all wake up abysmally

hungover. Rocko's particularly looking like should I have to say between this and the first bar scene there's definitely like Norman Rita's being like sweaty drunk. And I was like, oh I've been there too. I've been in both of these situations. I think it was like, Troy definitely. No, man. You got to drink

for real man. I don't I don't buy that fake beer for my set. You guys got to get wasted. Hell yeah. Take 54. Motherfuck, crack that beer. Apparently he was known for, to get the actors angry, he would call them names before each take. Like, that would annoy the piss at him.

Oh, yeah. Come on, fuck face. Let's do that, you know, like that kind of stuff. Like, oh, now he's angry. He'll use that in the scene of like, I'm a fucking actor. I can just tell me to be angry. I'll be angry. I don't need you to.

Jesus Christ. Don't call me a motherfucker before the scene. And that's that, dude. I'm directing. I'm directing my actors. Or probably F slurs. as well, I'm sure. Oh, absolutely.

Probably like inches away from Defoe's face. He's spitting that shit. I'm searching right up. He's like, oh, Hitchcock used to do this all the time. He's fucking nailing Norman Reis's shoes to the floor. You piece of shit. Long live the boondock saints. One of my favorite movies of last year from 1999 was the boondock shames.

Ran into a little release trouble. due to Columbine. Fantastic film. How do I know about Columbine when I died 14 years before it happened? You'll have to ask God. We get the news early up here in heaven. If Rockwood could be a ghost

in the next movie, Sir Alfred Hitchcock could be there too. Bring everyone in, Abe Lincoln. Connor is smart enough to say, hey man, I think the mafia's trying to kill you. That's what they were trying to do. Be careful when you meet them tonight. He doesn't want to believe it. You know, he fucks off to the mafia really quickly there.

I had, then this song, when, it's Rocco going into the store to talk to the mafiosos. And there's a song, in case you're wondering, it's by the actual band The Brood, which named itself the Boondock Saints after this movie came out. Troy Duffy's band. Oh, no, the Brood became the Boondock Saints. And they wore the coats to be able like,

hey guys, where the Boondock Saints. You can't be playing awesome. I presume awesome rock music wearing a P-Code on stage. So this song is one of theirs and I downloaded it. I had it as a... Oh, really? Wait, so did you, but did you also get like whatever these crystal method knockoffs are? No, no.

I think I just got this song. Okay. The song I wanted. Those crystal method knockoffs are the songs that they were like, we got to make another DVD piracy video again. So give you one of those Crystal Method knockoff songs. Oh, wow, what a-da-w. one-la-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w- Exactly.

So, yeah, it's, again, we don't see, like, what... This is annoying, right? Because it's more flashback shit. It's not even Defoe doing it, so you're breaking your own rule. Exactly. Like, they're like, okay, well, go do whatever, Rocco. Just if you get a sense that, like, the vibes are fucked, get out of there. And then, like, they're still in the apartment.

This is when Donna, the girlfriend shows up with, like, some friend of hers. And then Rocco bursts in immediately after, like, we gotta get the fuck out of here. You got to get the bag's back. And you're like, oh, I can't wait for the flashback on this fucking I can see that. This is when he's not, so you kill your girlfriend's

cat. You know, Christopher Maltesanti kills, you know. Sat on the dog there. Adrian's dog. You know, it happens. But you've got to be a least apologetic. Not like, I'll fucking blow my brains out if you could name that cat's name. Just wave a gun around,

pointed in her face and start screaming. That's domestic violence in case you're wondering. Although I will shoot myself in the head if you can name that cat is kind of funny. If she dies. America's new favorite game show. Name the cat or get shot in the face. Well, it is funny, right?

You said, Eric, she does recall the name, and then he's just like, fuck. What color was it, bitch? Oh, yeah, bitch. Yeah, I got stuck that in there. The brood. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, we are the Boondog Saints. Yes, we, I created a major motion picture, and now I'm at this shitty bar. Which I also partially own with a sex offender.

now let's here's our newest tune we can't wait for you guys to hear it one two three go there's all killed the cats this bro them off the fucking planet fuck the catch we hate fucking cats anti-cat propaganda will not stand i agree disgusting can't handle it really rough stuff man yeah so you guys all laugh at me when dog stuff happens this is what it's funny when a dog gets no kidding i'm kidding i'm uh stephen speleberg and uh on drums back there is George Lucas, and we're a new band Raiders of the Lost Dark. Two, three.

Two, three, four. Stealing stuff from a cave, ain't cool. It's not my tempo, George. Not my tempo, George. What a stupid. It's like, someone somewhere was like, your Troy, you know what we could do, man. What if we changed our name

to the Boondock Saints, right? Because picture this. Everyone's anticipating us to come out on stage and you start start slow quiet you kind of hear it saints saints say you imagine coming out people change saints let's change the name with a band my name is stephen sotaburger this is traffic burn out da da da da da da da da and he would have the one-man band thing like the fucking drums on his back dude doodle bo bo he's like fucking dick van dyke and mary poppins oh my god but yes so we see what rocko did after this phone call catch you on flip side he goes into this diner and here's these two fellas that we haven't met before but

they're dudes that are also in the mafia we should have met them for FYI yeah yeah that's maybe you get the scene of them sending him to do this setup exactly and instead you know he's like oh he's he's saying like uh he finds out that these two fellas knew about the setup and they think it's funny oh you survive so it doesn't matter or whatever and he just shoots these dudes he shoots the bartender that's at this diner because that guy I guess was also in on it. I guess, yeah, sure. It was like, that was real fucking funny, wasn't it?

Just shoot these dudes. Whatever. And now you're one of us. And this is the, oh, we should also just lay waste to this porno theater. Gotta go do it, dude, these fucking little coin operated jobs here. We got to go to this sin bin, it's called. Because Ron Jeremy's going to be there, which makes sense if you want to put a hit on your whatever. And like, he's a bad guy.

He would be managing this jerk off joint too, like definitely. Well, apparently his routine is he goes in and it jerks off at the same. woman every week, which is sense. Right, right, right. You say it that way. I was thinking about, because we go into a similar situation like this in, oh, Lord, now I can't think of the movie.

The James Brolin, oh, Night of the Juggler. Okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. James Browlin tears up one of these like peep show establishments in that movie. It's incredible. Again, just another plug for Night of the Juggler. Fantastic.

But he's beating people up and not murdering them indiscriminately also. Yes, exactly. And they sort of, I guess when Defoe is like doing the analysis, it's like this is where they figured out. Rocco like killed the two dudes doing like gun swap, cool move kind of stuff or whatever. No, this is, uh-uh. This ain't the Saints. This is classic Italian shooting.

I can just tell. This is just off. This is wrong. Because the Saints execute Ron Jeremy and then Rocco gets the two other guys, I think is the idea. Because they look in the booth. They're there to kill Ron Jeremy. The lady passes up hilarious. We get a boob and a boob grab.

That's funny. from Morocco. Oh, right. America's favorite. And Connor looks in one booth and the other one looks at the other one. It's like, it's like a scumbag yard sale. Who are these guys?

Why did they deserve to die? They jerk off. The way you do this, if you have to do it, oh, it's child pornography. I can't believe it. Oh, no, this is 13 year old girls. It's right there, dude. And you got Ron Jeremy,

so that lends credence to the whole thing. And then you kill them all. And like, it's still not what I would, advocate for, but at least in a movie sense I can understand it as opposed to like, you don't even see who these guys are. No, you don't. And this, we got to talk about it a little more in depth here, but this Rocco

tit touch, right? Like this woman passes out and yeah, the titty's out and he's like going to touch it and he touches it and the saints are like, what are you fucking doing which like genuine surprise there? And then he's just got this like, I'll tip her, I'll leave her a big tip.

Like, you know what, Boondock Saints? That dude just broke your own code. Exactly. Why don't you fucking shoot this guy in the face? As far as I

can tell, you did shoot these guys because they jerk off in public. That is the reason you have. Because the seed is precious,

remember when they woke up and they ate each other's seed? You can't have it, you can't spill it all willy-nilly but you get super Catholic. Yes. You take it all into your body.

That's fine. But otherwise, it's no good. But yeah, this, I mean, it's a whole fucking like,

Looney Tunes gag where he's like looking at a side eye, licking his lips like, yes. and just then grabs the tit, like, oh, yes. And the composition of the shot is like, the titty is in the foreground. And this dude's in the background and the hands coming closer to the camera. And I'm like, man, fucking shot deleted, dude.

This adds nothing to this out of here. It's at the end of kids for four seconds. I'm like, I don't need this shit. I do not need it in this movie. No way. And like, yeah, it's just stupid. And Defoe flips out on the cops right here because they offhandedly mention because the one detective is like, oh, it's been a busy. day what with that coffee shop murder and he's like

what coffee shop murder and then he gets pissed off because like these detectives assumed that it wasn't connected with what's going on and he's like how could you say that I need to know about every crime that's happening in this bird. The day the Boston police does my thinking for me I'll have a toe

a tag on my toe oh yes yeah yeah looks like we got ourselves a cowboy and we get some stuff with this newscaster I love this the lady newscaster that comes up repeatedly I think this might be her first appearance where she's just like, yes, all these mafioso men are being killed

in the street and whatever, and no one gives a shit in town. Yeah. Great. Finally, the Saints are cleaning up the town, getting rid of all the jack offers. In this beautiful city. Fred Willard was killed last night. Jesus. The man behind Pee-Wee. He's dead tonight. There's nothing wrong with

go to a theater and jerk it off if it's what you want to do. You don't deserve to die. It's there for. That is a buy-the-ticket ride-the-ride-ride situation. Like, who else at that porno theater was going to, excuse me, could you get the manager? Someone's jerking off in the porno theater. That is loser shit. That's insane.

That's what it's there for. Yes. God, damn. Oh, my God, I went to McDonald's someone who was eating a hamburger. Yeah, that's what you do in there. Let's just look at the hamburger. So, uh... Speaking of delicious food, not delicious.

But there are multiple... There's a, no, there's one scene where they stop everything to drink delicious Pepsi. Oh my god, I forgot about the Pepsi. There's tons of Pepsi cans on the table. I think they're when they're planning one of these things. I mean, Eric, I don't know if you know this, but if you drink a lot of Pepsi, it gets you drunk. A sober guy college told me this.

If you just keep on drinking Pepsi's. Just keep it going, do you keep pounding that shit. It will bring you to a note. Honestly, dude, you want to do a line of Pixie Dasperator? What was that shit called? Pixie sticks. Pixie sticks, yeah. Oh, I fucking...

Cut it up with a credit card? Tackled many a pixie stick in my day, friend. Oh, yeah. Pure stuff, dude. Absolutely. So, Yacavetta goes to see this dude, Augustus DeStefano. Another Sopranos guy could have been here.

You know, this could be Polly Walnuts. Absolutely. And they all just politely said no to this dude. So there's this other fella here. Didn't they ask Bert Young? You think they were like, hey, Bert Young, you want to do this? And even Bert Young. What?

He was like, he was like, yeah, you're filming it in Canada though, so I'll be up there, but you gotta pay for my train from Philly. Yeah, no way to do that. Nah, very young. But yeah, this dude Augustus is Stefano. He's a retired mob guy who's out of the game. He's working as a

bathroom attendance now in some restaurant. Talking about a fall from grace with the mocks here. And now, is he or is he not blind? I think he's supposed to be blind. I think in one scene he's supposed to be blind, and in another scene he's maybe not, but like because he is doing cool, like,

daredevil stuff like throwing urinal cakes across the room and getting them into the right receptacles and whatever but this guy's basically yacquetta is like hey man uh i need el duchay and this dude de stephano's like oh duchay he's a real monster this dan you sure you want to unleash the beast here it's kind of like a john wick thing and we cut to prison and you see billy connelly in chains he's grossly barefoot like he just caught swamp thing they put him on a platform and roll him out like, I don't even know. Like, he's saber-tooth. Like, I don't know.

He's 5'9, Billy Connolly. Like, just put him in handcuff. It's fine. Yeah. And Yakovetta's like, you know, we have to, we have to get Il-Ducci. Because they think that Rocco is this, like, hidden criminal mastermind. And they're like, well, Rocco's going to bring down the whole East Coast if we don't stop him. So we got to get Il-Ducche or whatever.

And, you know, the dude is like, well, he's been in jail for like 30 years. And this Yaakov is. is just like, oh, well, that won't be a problem. And you see that Billy Connolly is being wheeled into like a parole hearing. Yeah. They're trying to do like a Hannibal Lecter thing. Yes. Yes.

But they know they're going to, it's going to read as parody if they actually put on the mask or something on Connolly. So they had to use their own brains and whoops, it sucks. That sums it up. Good night, everyone. But we get, uh, we get a little, a little teeny. shortened bio here because it's just like Il Duce colon

Christian name Oh no Oh my fucking God That's crazy Nobody he's a monster Oh no It looks like fucking I don't know

What's his name Kenny Rogers for the most part You know It's Billy Connolly but like He's got this like Jerry pro kind of thing Jerry curl fro kind of going on

He enjoyed that hairstyle Yeah He had that hairstyle for a long Did he have it on his sitcom Billy? He did he absolutely did. I never tell the story? I made a scene about watching that one time? So, because Billy, it was, I think it was like a TGIF show or something of that.

Which lasted a season, maybe two, right? Maybe two. And I remember watching an episode of Billy and being like, oh, this is. Yeah, oh, thank God. Cutting out for the week. It was a busy week at school. It's been watching Billy. Watching Billy, dude.

I got a fucking little sniffter of brandy, just watching Billy. Sure. And my parents were like, oh, it's time for bed. And I was like, but I'm watching this Billy show. This is, this. Did you guys hear about Billy? This is hilarious. And they were like, you gotta go to bed.

And I put up a fucking stick. I want to watch Billy. I had a total freak out about wanting to watch the Billy Connolly sitcom Billy. I mean, did you get your way or probably not? No, I went right to bed. Yeah, I didn't get to finish that 22 minute episode of television and never looked bad. If I don't watch it, they're going to fucking. cancel it and he's going to be in a bad action movie in six years.

I don't want all my school chums spoiling Billy tomorrow. Look, I go to the cafeteria tomorrow. I'm the only one who hasn't seen Billy. It's instant schoolyard humiliation. You're fucking me over. Billy. That's, it's a little paragraph from the variety saying Billy canceled and you just push it over to your father.

Are you happy? Are you happy, you monster? You did this. So Rocco is like, oh, well, you know, this. This fella here that he thinks is like going to kill his whole family, whatever it is. He's like, this dude has a poker game. Whoever this guy is has a poker game with mobsters every Saturday. Worst night in my life, man.

You want to know a monster. This guy's a monster. He's like a super assassin that went in and killed this whole family. Why does Rocco know this? He was involved in the murder. He drove this guy to it. He helped him dispose of the bodies. You are involved in the murder.

You're a serious accomplice there. You're a co-killer, basically. That's right. He says he kills a family like you'd order a pizza. Yes, that's what it is. It's actually kind of wild because it's just, it cuts. He says the thing about it killed the whole family. It cuts to a dumpster.

Yes. And Rocco is helping this dude light the dumpster on fire. And you're just like, you figure it out. It's actually, you know, it's not confusing or anything. But it's like, oh, the family entirely is in this dumpster being lit on fire. And Rocco was part of it. So they're by the saints rules. Like if those guys in the other peep show booths deserve to die, then so does Rocco.

I'm sorry. Rocco was just doing his job. Oh, yeah. Come on, Stephen. And really, what he's doing here, he's a storyteller. It's not really the same thing as having, being a witness. So Defoe gets there and we do the whole scene over again. I mean, this format is exhausting.

It is. It's exhausting to watch. It's exhausting to try to keep it all in your head to talk about it. My God. It's just like make it either the Paul Smekker movie or the Boondock Saints movie. I know DeFoe's like the best parts. You kind of want to do that. Right, right, right.

But it's just so exhausted. And now this is where we turn it up a little bit. We do, yeah. And we should have just been doing this the whole time because the fact that it starts here doesn't make any sense. When he's going through this particular action scene, he's inserted into the scene as he's explaining it. So like, as the saints are running out of the house or whatever, he's standing in the front of the house, like he's there, but he's not there. And I'm like, it's a cool shot. It's pretty cool.

But like, why wouldn't you do that the whole time then? And then the toilet came down there. And like, he's standing by the toilet. like show them in that scene. This is the, this is the start of DeFoe being inserted into these recaps. That should have been from the jump though.

Yeah. And this is the, yeah, where he's like shooting, they're shooting guns and he's doing finger guns, which was the poster I had in college. Oh,

yes. No, it was the three of that. It was like, but with the Saints with Befo. Well, that's, that's the least okay. It wasn't,

it wasn't just a Boondock Saints poster poster. It was the poster guy had it. I'm like, that's a really cool poster poster poster guy. And I grabbed it. Exactly. Oh, nice selection there, Stephen.

Better than the average Boondock Saints. Oh, we've got a connoisseur here. We also, though, because the end of this is the saints go out the front door of this house, I think. Right. And this is where Al Ducche is there with the guns and all the other people and whatever. And this is, we're kind of doing a, oh, man, Defoe in the Oliver Stone, Vietnam movie. Oh, a platoon. The fall down.

Yes, yeah, you're right. He's got his arms up doing gun fingers. I was like, now, do you think Troy Duffy was like, Hey, Willem. Fucking badass movie, fucking Patoon, man. Wouldn't it be fucking cool? You fucking go outside this house or you fucking fall over like you did in that movie? Yeah, if it gets me out of here before dinner, yeah, fine.

I mean, I was just so respectful of you making finally one pro-Vietnam movie. You don't see it so many these days. And I just was, I love that you had the balls to do that. Hey, would you mind stealing from Light Sleeper? Less people have seen it. I would rather if people were, you know, funneled that way. This is the, there was a fire fight. Yes, yes, yes.

Also, the dude who they're going there for is taking a shit while the initial, like, hit goes down or whatever. So we got a little of that going on. Oh, yeah, you could just kill everybody at that poker game. You know, oh, hey, this is my guy. Thanks guys for the mafia poker game. This is my buddy, my sister's boyfriend, Bob from Detroit. He sells cars. He just wants to, he loves cards.

It's cool if he comes. Yeah, sure no problem. I feel like he's not getting an invite. If it's a henchman only kind of, I mean, you don't know. You might need a sixth. You might you do a fifth, though. Oh, you know, so-and-so backed out. Oh, here's my nephew Cameron.

He doesn't know anything about what I do for a living, but he's a real card shark. Jeez, did you guys read the paper last week about how forensics doesn't exist anymore? Boy, that's wild. Got rid of it. It's eradicated all that technology and procedure. Insane. I didn't know. And this is like Rocco's initiation into the same.

because the guy comes out and Sean Patrick Flandery is the guy that talks in this movie Norman Reed says like three lines Yeah which you you want that flip don't you do You do now Daryl Nixon book of Daryl dude Anybody watch the book of Darrell Is that still on?

I think it's believe that it is I think it's like they've announced that like whatever the next thing is the last of it was The Apocalypse is really bad Right look at this We were re-watching Madman on AMC Plus And it was before I went to HBO Max And I watched so

many commercials for the Book of Daryl. There's like the Book of Daryl colon carol now, which is hilarious Carols around. God damn it. I just can't. I cannot with that. Is the Jeffrey Dean Morgan? No, that's long gone.

But then there's the Jeffrey Dean Morgan and other girls show. There's another one. City of the Dead possibly. Yeah, they go to New York. It's like, it's escape from New York rules kind of where the Manhattan Islands kind of like cordoned off and they have to go there for some reason, I think is that show.

But I remember Norman Reed is coming on Walking Dead. I'm like, oh, this is cool. Way, way back way. You know what I mean? He, yeah, like, I got tired of that show. I checked out, but he was great through all of what I watched it. He always had a good, and he had a really good rapport with Rooker when that was still happening. Oh, right.

Yes, they were the brothers in the beginning. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's a nice spice in a movie. I like him in Blade 2 also. He's great play 2. Sean Patrick Flannery, not so much. No, no, thank you.

Yeah, he's fine. There's a great movie, if you want to laugh. I'll find it. It's, he's a... The serial killer that ends with a Glenn, what's, not Glenn Greenwald, the right-wing guy, Glenn... Oh, Glenn Beck. Yes.

It's an interview with Glenn Beck. That's the end of the movie. While you look this up, I will say, speaking of Glenn Beck interviews, has anyone seen the latest way this dude is humiliating himself? No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, Eric, Eric, get this. Glenn Beck, remember him?

Remember, like, seven years ago when he was like, I have four months to live or whatever, all that stuff was? What? That's hilarious. I didn't know that. Well, he was supposed to die at one point. He was supposed to actually be going blind at one point. Of course all that was bullshit.

I think he got saved. But his latest thing, he is having a conversation. Yeah. With an AI George Washington. Yes. And it's in like, there's a set and it's an AI George Washington like sitting at a table. Yeah. It's hot George Washington.

Dude, he's fucking thirsty as fuck. This George Washington, he's just wearing like a tight t-shirt. He's got cum gutters. You know what I was president? This is just a sex thing for him. I think this dude's fucking cybering with an AI George Washington. Because he's like, is it, hey, AI George Washington, would it be okay to start a war with Iran? Well, actually, it would be because I'm a AI George Washington and you have to trust me.

AI George Washington, do you love President Trump, don't you? Of course I do. No, I think Glenn's one of these dudes that's turning on. He turned off? Oh, no. Because the whole thing is like, well, I didn't want to go to war and I never would have done war. Oh, Andrew Schultz was just saying. the same thing, yes. Did you find this fucking thing yet?

The movie is called Nefarious. So Sean Patrick Flannery and Glenn Beck star in it? Pretty much. Sean Patrick Flannery is condemned to death for all these horrible murders. Nice. And he's a very childlike, and I mean he is going for it.

He's a very childlike man. Oh. What do you mean? Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm a little baby. And Glenn Beck wipes his bottom? No, but then he turns into an evil monster sometimes because he's actually possessed by a demon. Oh, shit.

And this other guy is interviewing him. At the end of the movie, the hero, I believe, writes a book. And Glenn Beck's like, you're right, demons are everywhere. This is, thank you for coming on. Letting my audience know about demons being everywhere. Is this a, uh, is this an angel studio? It might not be angel, but it's like subbing. You know, it was pre-angel, I think.

Yeah, sure. And the screenplay was like, and then they go on a late night talk show. Well, no one said they could. We'll just change it to that. It's a Christian horror film, but it's not. Angel Studios. What year was it? 2000. It's, dude, it's kind of a laugh, right?

I'll be honest. We'll see you in 233. Yes. But yeah, Defoe's like sweating during this whole reenact and it's like, they walked out the front door. They had no idea what was waiting for him. And then this is just more of Billy Connolly shooting at his own

children and he knows they're his children. No, he does not know that they're his children yet. But when does he find that out though? When they're saying the family prayer. Oh, is that what it is? Oh, just at that moment. There's a cool Roshuman-esque thing that only happens for half a second. It was six guys.

It had to be six guys. And you, the audience, see six guys with guns and then it changes. It's just Billy Connolly. It's one guy with six guns. Which is sort of whatever. Very little credit to give. Billy Connolly smoking what I hope at least is a really good cigar.

Make sure you fucking spend the money. Get yourself a decent one there, bud. Exactly. Is this a Dutchmaster? I can't believe it. Ew. It's vanilla flavor. Smells cheap as feck.

There's no weed in it. It's just in actual backwards. Do people actually smoke leaves? No one has ever smoked that without weed. No, you gut the Dutchmaster and put in the good stuff. Yes. So Rocco loses a finger in this firefight. Defoe finds it.

He's doing some at-home detective work. Dude, I couldn't believe this. You get to look at this flatbed scanner. It was the late 90s. We had one of these and the old home computer set up there. It was the only way you were digitizing your pictures at the time, man, flatbed scanners.

And he remembers Rocco from when he was picking up the saints. He's like, oh no, those hot guys are in trouble. And now I'm going to get super wasted at a gay bar. Be homophobic again in a gay bar. Dude, yeah, he calls the bartender a fairy fuck is the idea. And like the whole bar turns like, get out of here, Paul. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, figure your shit. I'll go to therapy and come back.

Exactly, exactly, dude. We didn't do whatever your parents did to you. We're just trying to have a nice night out on the town, man. He gets wasted. He goes to a confessional where Rocco sees him and wants to kill him because he knows that he's going to bring them down. But the saints have already said he's a good man. Don't kill him.

Exactly. So then we get into the grab ass. We won't have a movie. Oh, my God. You can't stop the movie Dead Rock. Could we? He's the best darn actor we have. Now, if he gets struck, though, you can do something with him then.

You can feck him then, it's fine. That's good. But yeah, so this is all the fucking grab ass and the confessional here. And Defoe's like talking to this priest. And then is it Flannery that... Rocco goes into the confessional with the guy. Norman Reed does nothing. Right.

And then so it's like the other confessional booth is Norman Reader or a flannery who breaks through. And he's like, it's just all so dumb. It's just so dumb. All of this. And it's basically... the priest with a gun to his head has to be like, yeah, actually that whole commandment about thou shalt not kill, it's totally cool. It's not a big thing the Catholics care about. You know what I mean? It's kind of great though, because he's like,

there's one point where he's like, he says to Defoe like, oh, it's really easy to be sarcastic about religion. And I was like, only a fucking Irish Catholic priest would have the balls to like talk shit about like, you know, like defending his cause while someone has a gun do his sure. But yeah, I do like the line the priest

asked DeFoe something about the Saints or whatever he's like the two Irish guys would but the Italian guy might he's kind of dumb or he's kind of an idiot or something like that

and Rocco's like teeming with anger right here seething and everything but DeFoe decides to join the Saints and really quickly just gives them a call like oh this is Yakovettish helm number or whatever the fuck

it's a weird thing where like whoever makes the call to the other we don't even see it we just see the call happening the saints are on one pay phone and defoe is on another pay phone so I was like how what how did they organize this

how do they know what phone to stand next now I'm part of the team I'm master splinter practically they're doing everything I want to do they're gonna hit Papa Joe tonight actually you know what that would you know because we keep remaking the turtles and we usually you know you get an Asian actor to do Splitzer's voice DeFoe as the splinter.

Come on, turtles, come by sounds. Yeah, I raised you as to be ninja turtles. Oh, are you stuck, Raphael? Let me help you. Oh, yeah, he's getting into it, dude. I'm going to gnaw on some cheese. Yeah, actually, to get into my character, I'm just gnawing cheese like a rat.

Do anybody want some cheese? Hey, I'm sharing my rat cheese with everybody. It's the funky stuff, too. You can get a real digging on this one. I slept in the subway last night to get into character. I went across to ships to spread disease. I'm wearing a tattered purple kimono to get into character. Now, don't, don't, don't.

Remove the trap from my leg. It's part of it. It's part of the whole thing. No, no, I want that to be there, you see. Yeah, I know it's a voice performance. Do you know it's a voice performance? I'm pulling double duty. I got a splinter voice performance, but I'm also the Rat King IRA.

But so whatever, we cut to Yonkavetta's house for this big fucking. massacre here and like the saints and Rocco have like already been kidnapped by this guy I guess. I would like this this movie tricks you into thinking it's an action movie but action scenes aren't in it. This is a scene you need is like they come in and they somebody finally gets

the drop on them. That's something right. I thought like did I miss something? Did I just not pay attention? Or you're even like oh okay well there's someone we'll even at least relive that scene through whatever through the format. But you don't care at this point because it's like losing all all propulsiveness

is lost. Every time you do this shit. And I'm like, god damn it. They think the big motivator for like the movie to like push itself over the finish line is indeed the murder of Rocco. Yes. And I'm just cheering in my fucking house. Fucking yes.

It is pretty awesome watching this dude. Get shot right in the heart man. Fucking finally. What a reprieve. But here comes to the hogs. Do a Hannibal on them. And the Saints are so surprised that there's like consequences for their actions. Dude.

And this guy like this. Saints are like rock rock no no no and this dude's last words like don't ever stop don't ever stop me into boot knock sage don't do it keep playing bars you have to be the record label will come to you oh my god but yeah they're they're chained up again and the saints break out of their chains again with Hulk string we've seen that before yeah but it means here comes DeFoe actually as your... Uh-oh. Oh, it's me. I'm dressed up as the lady gremlin.

Because I've always thought the lady gremlin herself looks like Willem Defoe and drag. Yes. So just by my own movie logic, Willem Defoe and drag then has to look like the lady gremlin. It's the eyes. It's the eyes that do that I think. It is. Yeah, because like Willam

Defoe, I mean, I love the guy. He's handsome as fuck. He's a real sexy dude. But if you look at that face in certain ways, I could be a gremlin. I got a little bit of a gremlin look here. Don't look on the wing. There's something out there. Somebody ate after midnight.

You got your phone. Uh-oh, I got soaked in that hot tub. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop up. Got me well. I will say this kiss is quite passionate between him and this. Not bad. This goon. Because in other movies, I would have imagined even rewatching it, like,

it would be like a quick like two like tight-lipped guys going, oh, kiss with each other, you know. They're like making out. It's a dude makeout. Because as you see earlier in the movie, I think it's flannery again.

There's some move to somebody. He's going to give somebody a kiss and he gloves it. Yes, he puts his hand, like his gloved hand betwixt the mouth. I think it's Rocco he does it. When they're fucking with him, he does that.

Oh, yes, yes. That's how, yeah, you're right. Bugs Bunny kind of thing. Absolutely. I mean, it underlines your Lady Gremlin thing because it's Robert Pappardo and him.

And that, and that gremlin are going right at it. Yes, you're totally right. Oh, man, Robert Sparta, I love him. Any man faced with a lady gremlin or Willem Defoe and drag, like, shit. You know what I mean? Like, ever, I don't care what's going on. I'm going to figure it out.

You got to do it. It's a yes on both for me. Personally, it's a yes. I'm like both on at the same time. I'll take that. Oh, wow. Yeah, three ways. Me and my sister, the lady.

Hey, Joan, he's into it. Oh, I'm sorry, step sister. Yeah, my father married a Gremlin. And that's my step-sister, Lady Gremlin. And, oh, yeah, they're going to do a quick, funny, Buzzby Berkeley number, then fuck each other. Oh, my God. Yeah, so Defoe is like, oh, yeah.

Joey Bevo sent me over. And this guy's like, hey, baby, party time isn't for tonight. There's some shit going down. You couldn't show up at the worst time. Well, I'm just so horny. Joey Bivo said there'd be some fun over here. And yet it is like sloppy tongue kissing. Genuinely shocking.

And there's this line that guy's like, oh, Bivo always sends us Primo box. Primo box, he says. Primo box, good God. Word in heaven. But meanwhile, we know that if they have the runoxys, they've killed Rocco. The mob Ryakovan is like, this Yildoche is going to kill us for some reason. I don't understand the why. There's something about like, oh, well, El Ducche doesn't know.

that like we don't need his services anymore because like they wanted el duchay to kill roco now roco's dead and they're like well there's no stop you let the fucking animal out of the cage man there's no way to stop this dude now or whatever they're like holeing down and yacoboda runs away so that yes again they're expecting the devil and it's like well i get my cock sucked real quick by this sexy lady why not and like he is defoe is like down on his back on the floor of this bathroom like you're like seeing up his into his fucking underwear and everything. He's really like ready to go here in this moment.

And then like the wig kind of starts falling a little too far off and the guy notices it. I mean this guy can't be surprised. Come on. No. It's like well I thought you were a lady grambling but now you're just a guy and I can't get it up for this. Come on. And he kills him really quickly. And I do like Defoe again

as an actor being like too far. Too far. This is too much. And it's like that's interesting. And that I think is his last life. in the movie, he gets knocked out by Billy Connolly and he's like, fucking with the Saints at the end. I think you're, I think you see him after this, but I don't

think there's any lines. Which is crazy. Like his moral whatever would be a crux of the film, right? Exactly. Because that's the too far is him breaking his own rule. Yes. And if this was at all a character, like he would wrestle with that in some way. But instead before that can happen, some other

dude comes in, this guy chappy. Yeah. This guy chappy. If you look up the actor, this dude's been in a bunch His last name is Chapman, funny enough, I think. But this guy goes, oh, is it a two for one? Like, this dude's taking his cock out, too. Defoe kills this guy. It's kind of funny.

But then Il-Ducche knocks him out, which doesn't make sense. You would just kill everybody, right? You would think. Yeah, unless he knows, like, you don't want to kill a fed for, but I don't think that dude would care about that necessarily. Or a sex worker. Yeah. But so this is where Ildece finds them preying over Rocco, and he's like,

wait a minute. These are me boys. He finishes it and they realize that it's their father and it's like Yeah. And again, that's a scene that's not in the movie. Like we get a big black cut and now we're just at the courthouse.

Three months later it says. Crazy. Like, again, look. Oh, God, remember blah, blah, blah. Like something, because I just thought it was just weird. I thought they were just weird old Catholics together. I didn't even put it together. Yeah, well, we haven't seen you since, you know,

you got arrested back in cork or something like that. There's a quick cutaway to them in a motel room, which is a larger scene that the movie needs of them. Having served? Billy Connolly just being like, oh, you know, something about being an assassin and how we have to do it. Anything.

They have that really quickly, but again, I need much more of that. It's got to be expanded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so three months later, Yacavetta's on trial. This is the end of the movie. And now, like, Ildeuchee and the Saints

are working in conjunction with the entire Boston Police Department. The three other guys are doing it. Everybody's in on, yeah, Bob Marley's in on it. The other two dudes, Defoe's helping out, and like, they walk in, they get the guns over the metal detector immediately to, like, go in there or whatever. And this is like, they go into the courtroom, they make

this big fucking speech. Jacaveta is like on trial, this whole thing. And we're, this is like they're coming out party, basically. This is like the announcement to the world, but here we are. We keep saying, these two, like, I guess, press guys, like, you know he's going to get off. He always gets off. Hardy, har, har, har.

Yeah, these two. stock reporter characters and you know you people have been chosen to reveal us to the world he's like yelling at the press box people and everything I'd be afraid of a bomb or something seriously dude then you have Billy Connolly like they're getting ready to kill Yakovetta in this moment

and his woman's like not having it and he's like no you have to look last you have to look and I was like the fuck for it's filled with people you got to be traumatized sweetheart exactly and then I think it's is it Bob Marley pulls the fire alarm here and so it like starts evacuating this courthouse and yeah they just make this big speech about wanting to eradicate evil this that and the other thing and then yeah

a quick question buddak say it's up in the press what constitute is evil for you like what exactly is the line there is anything i don't like yeah there is a great thing where they're like uh and we know there are lesser forms of evil and for all the scumbags out there that want to up their game to more serious evil, we'll kill you then. So they're basically like, hey, just watch it. We have a line. We're not going to tell you what that line. Well, at least I know, I could probably jaywalk. Yeah, probably.

Jaywalk and, you know. Light drug use. Very light. Yeah, yeah, light drug use. I'd say also like, hey, Chris Cabin, you wouldn't steal a car, would you? Oh, no. Bar da da da da da da da da da da da da. I'll see in hell you two. Two DVDs

over your eyes for the boat, man. need physical media the boatman's like what the fuck I don't have a player so they just say the the prayer there and then the three of them just destroy Yacavetta's head and they would be wanted for the rest of time

right top of the list wouldn't it be more likely that a local woman would be like an Irish gunman with eight hands sounds hot to me like Lucy Lulles wow she's here but then after that is this is the motel and they're like

How far are we going to take this dog? And he's just like, you know, we got to, do you possess the guts and faith to go as far as needed? And I was like, what is the plan here? What is even the plan? The movie's got 120 seconds left. What is the plan? What are we doing? Oh, it's a sequel set up.

The last thing we see here, because, yeah, we just leave them all smoking in the shitty motel room together. And then this is just all the newscaster stuff, a bunch of people being interviewed on the street, you know. As the credits roll. Yes. And someone else brings back these guys should be in every major city and all this shit. They should shoot my ex-wife.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have said that. Actually, could you not put that on the news? I'm in a custody trial right now. It would go really bad for me. And then you got all these people doing no comment, which means they're admitting to be cool with him. And then there's other people like,

they're killing for good. Yeah. And then, well, I mean, it's so crazy that, like, these things are going on. And, like, for a movie that is so obsessed with, like, fading to black and cutting to black and whatever, just start rolling over this footage.

You love the transition to a fade to black, then bring up your credits. Not while these people are still talking. Classic Duffy reversal. Oh, yeah, man. One of our greatest living filmmakers. He's never made another movie. He did those two, and that's it.

Just the two Boondock Saints. That's it. Which is kind of wild because you would think with the pseudo heat of that, you could get a low-level horror movie made or a bad... He probably could. I don't know if you are, if you're most well known for, like,

calling your fucking actor's pieces of shit. Yeah, that's a terrible to work with, including from the producer. I guess when you make the documentary immediately thereafter, you're an asshole, you're not going to get that. I don't think so. So we do have it on IMDB. The Blood Orange,

Blood Orange. Blood Orange. Yeah, the Boondock Saints, colon, origins series developer. Okay, so yeah, this is the book that came out last year. I think this is the cover of the book? Because this is what they have is the cover. The blind justice woman or whatever the fuck that.

But it's like a weird like she's yelling like the mouth is. It's kind of like Dennis Leary actually the more I look at this. Oh man, he should be in that movie. He's not above being in a Boondock Saints TV show. No way around it. But yeah, there's no other. He in 2015 was supposedly attached to something called luminous, which was a TV show that never came to anything. Yeah, okay.

It's some sort of fake sci-fi thing. Well, we wish him luck. whatever that may be. I hope his band is actually his band is going to be to a Dooley's tonight. They're getting paid in beer again, right? We had Anthony Starr, ready for Luminous, but then I kept on saying that his mother's a shitty horse. You should be in hell.

And he didn't take that as energy for his performance. He just said I was a piece of shit. But that is the end of Troy Duffey's Boondock Saints. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts. Mr. Siska. It's awful. It's terrible. I mean, you know, I had only seen this one, I think.

And then I hadn't seen it for 20 years. And I was like at the start, I was like, well, you know, it's a crime thing. We had to foe. How bad can it be? Yeah. And then like, yeah, it's just like it just notches down and down and down and down. I just did not have fun watching it at all. It felt like four hours long somehow.

It just stretched. No for me. It's okay to like it, though, by the way. Don't, don't kill me. There you go. Chris Cabin. Oh, no. I mean, this is literally the opposite of what I want.

from a movie. Like, on every level. At every turn. Every, just everything about it is just the absolute opposite for what I look for in these, in movies in general. And yeah, like, again, you would hope, like, it's the Della Rock. I really do think it's him that really weighs this down, because you get a lot of him in the middle and that's when it starts to sag. And like, maybe if you had just cut all that out and just made it about the Saints and them killing these people, maybe I could see some, a firm two starer there. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. But like as Stan's, it's just horrible, man. Rocco is kind of more of a character than either Saints.

You're totally right. Yeah, he's way more developed than either Bundak's Saints. Steve Sadeg. Yeah, and he's got more lines of Norwich, by a bunch, which is kind of a bummer if you're like, you know, if you're a Walk a Dead fan coming back, like, oh, this is this cool gun movie he made in the 90s. Yeah, but it's best to muzzle the second best actor in your movie.

It makes the most sense. Yeah, it's a bummer. I mean, you know, again, teenage boy stupid shit. I enjoyed this movie. and I kind, I just, I really, sometimes you grow out of things and I grew out of this one and I'm okay with that. Again, even rewatching it last night, it, I was surprised how bad the pacing was and the slog of getting through it. But again, the toilet scene, I'm like, oh, I remember liking that scene. I was like, I still kind of like that scene.

There's a little bit of that here, but so much less than I would have even thought, you know, earlier this week when I was like, I got to rewatch food dog saints for the show. Yeah. So yikes. Not a fun rewatch, not a recommend. Yeah, not a recommend. I don't think I'll say much different. It was just, you know, it was stunning to go back after

20-some-odd years and just be like, yeah, I was wrong. And it's fine. And you know what? It's fine if you like, I don't give a shit. I can totally understand why you would like this. It's completely fine. It's just not anything. I'll ever revisit, but I will give the first episode of that TV show a shot. I will say, but that is going to do it for this episode. As always, if you want more We Hate Movies,

check out that Patreon, man. Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies, where yes, you can get episodes just like this one completely commercial free. And this is, of course, listener request month. We've been going through it. We had a listener requested. We Love Movies episode at the top of the month.

We were talking about Kevin Smith's clerks. That was a lot of fun. Another thing that I hadn't seen in a really long time, that was fun revisiting that. Chris Cabin last week, we released a Melro 210. That was a lot of fun. Yes, a double-decker of Melrose place. We are the baby kidnapping.

There it is. A saga is coming to a close. Finally, thank God. Mary Poppins has been found. Swarm, swarm. And it's, they shoot mothers, don't they? Yes. And it is, it's a bottle of fun.

It's a real wild time. And last Friday to celebrate the holiday in our Patreon shop, we, we opened up the old WHM vault and released our episode on Friday the 13th, the final chapter. That was a video show we did back in 2023, I think. It was a Halloween show we did. You can get that now in the Patreon shop. It's available for you. When you purchase it, you get the video show that we had. Then also, if you have your Patreon personal RSS feed set up, the audio for that will download right to your podcatcher.

So if you want to listen on the go and not watch in the living room, you can do both options there ready to rock and roll. And we are on animation damnation. We're doing Delicious in Dungeon, which is a show no one knows anything about. We haven't watched it yet. But it was requested by a nice listener. We're going to find out it's an anime show where they're eating food to dungeon. and the food seems to be delicious, as my guest. Sounds great. Yeah.

On the Gleap Glacry, we were talking about 10 Garnit, the Death Star Gunner. Hell yeah. With, which if I had to eat food in a dungeon, I might gun myself. That guy's probably got the highest body count in Star Wars, right? Yeah, that's true. He was a fucking slut. The galaxy's greatest monster. That guy.

Yeah, he blew up all their own. Right. That's more what I was referencing. That is his lay count, but sure. Yes, the AD comes out this Thursday. If you're listening to this on the day, it comes out. The Gleepe Glacery is this Friday. And right in the middle of that tomorrow, like we mentioned at the top,

the 18th tomorrow, Wednesday, we're releasing a very special We Love Movies episode where we welcomed on Matt and Tyler from Radio Silence to talk about Joy Ride. It's a WOLM. It's going to be on the free feed with commercials. It's going to be on the Patreon without commercials. Those dudes were the sweetest fucking guys. We had so much fun talking with them.

And go see their movie right here or not. Go see it. Here I come on Friday. It will be this Friday. It's a lot of fun we saw it already. And look at this. You're getting another episode tomorrow for your hangover. There you go.

Exactly. Exactly right. We got a Nexus as well that we're doing next week. That's another listener requested thing with DS9 and TNG. Got to be a lot of fun. But Steve Sadek next Tuesday, the show rolls on listener request month goes in to week three with what direct to DVD title? Oh, yeah. This is like such an interesting movie because it is like that prime direct-to-dict.

DVD sequel we were doing. Those aughts, baby. It is Nathan Philean in White Noise 2, colon, the light. Oh, man. Honestly, seeing as believing, maybe. It could just be. If you want a good, like, I feel like it's a good, bad movie

in a way. It is. Yes. So check it out. Much more fun than this movie. Hell yeah. Exactly right. So until next week, we've ventured to Vancouver, Canada, talking about White Noise, too. I've been Andrew Juppin. Steven's say that. Eric Sisker. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.