We Hate Movies - S16 Ep857: Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

“You put Dawn of the Dead, Romero’s, and Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later in the copy machine at the same time…” - Eric on this movie's vibeOn this week’s episode Remake-ril kicks off on WHM and we’re chatting about the pretty okay Zack Snyder feature debut, Dawn of the Dead! A reimagining of George A. Romero's zombified capitalist critique, Snyder brought the franchise into the 21st Century with a more action-driven, but still fun vision. Shouldn’t James Gunn have written like, eight-to-ten fewer characters to jam in here? How amazing is Ving, as always? How eerie is that zombie baby? Could Mark Borchardt and Mike Schank have made a zombie outbreak documentary? And were we wrong about goofing on Richard Cheese all these years? PLUS: Could a zombie virus destroy the city of Duckberg?Dawn of the Dead (2004) stars Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Jake Weber, Ty Burrell, Michael Kelly, Kevin Zegers, Michael Barry, Lindy Booth, Jayne Eastwood, Boyd Banks, Inna Korobkina, and Matt Frewer as Frank; directed by Zack Snyder.Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!  Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

this week on the program. Now let's all get ready to get down with the sickness, all right? Because we're talking about Dawn of the Dead 2004. I'm Andrew Jupin. Uh, Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes I'm to keep your appointment with the Wickham Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara.

He's seen one too many movies Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program, as always. That's right.

It is Remake Roll. Is that right? Yeah, we're talking all remakes. Oh, my God. Kicked off last week, don't you know? Did it? We Love Movies episode about The Departed came out. Whoa.

So that's an infernal affairs remake. This is just a straight-up Dawn of the Dead, and we're also calling it Dawn of the Dead. dead. And it's very much in debt to 28 years or 28 days later. Yes. Big time. And then parallels to 28 years later as well with the little

birth. The little miracle that happens. But this is it's a zero. It's you put Dawn of the Dead Romero Danny Boyle 28 days later in this copy machine at the same time. Exactly. Oops, paper jam. Here comes. Here it is. And then you just take

out pages and pages of dialogue and character development. Social commentary. All that stuff out of there. Just get it out. Dude, this fucking plane is too heavy. We got to throw stuff out so we don't crash. Here's the thing. I think that this,

I actually rewatched Dawn of the Dead, the OG. Oh, good. That rocks. I didn't get around to it. It's been a minute. And it's a long movie, too, FYI.

It takes its time. It's like two or, depending upon what cut. I think you're watching it. I watch it a two and a half hour cut, which is great. Yeah, I love those big boys.

Really ruminative and all that stuff. I think the problem with this movie, which we'll get into, it's when the second bus of characters show up. Then it's just like... Yep. Like, you had a decent amount of characters for a body count anyway. Like, because obviously, like, the first movie was on, like, four characters.

You know what I mean? Like, the one guy... It's really just three. The fourth guy's, like, out almost immediately. Exactly. You get bit. This is like, I... You've got a decent amount of characters that you can kind of pick off and have some, like, mall fun with.

And then there's just all these other characters for... Which... Who could care about... There's so many characters. Two of them don't even speak. The woman who gets fucked by Ty Burrell has, like, one line like, this dinner's... The guy that gets like this, the executed or whatever, like he's changing because he had some, but I'm like, who are you? What is this? Oh, the cross dresser dude. Yeah, he's also no lines for that guy.

That's also the problem with the film in general is there's no, these aren't, these are just people. These are not even people. These aren't characters. Yeah. But it's fine. It's fun. It moves at a clip. It does. I appreciate that. It gets right to the get. There's good, there's good kills and stuff. This is a Zach Snyder film. Zach Snyder picture. Zach Snyder feature. and also a lot of this starts to make a ton of sense because he's not really Zach Snyder directing this movie yet but a lot of this makes sense when you remember that this is written by James Gunn. Yes. And right there you're like, oh, this is where like the comedy is.

I think this is why it's also just too many fucking people. I would like to see that draft. Did that get pared down at all? It was Gunn still developing his craft and it's better today. I think he's probably a better writer today for sure. We should say quickly that Chris Cabin has a nasty-looking bite mark. So he's sequestered in the other room. I think he's going to be okay, though.

He's probably going to be okay. I chained him to the toilet for safety. He loves the toilet, so that's perfect. Oh, man, yeah. Just drink the water in there, too. Fine. It's going to fuck. He's going to be fine.

He's doing fine. Did anybody see this in theaters? I did. It was a big deal when it came out. It was. Yeah, yeah. And I think I liked it probably just a little more than, but... I think I liked it a lot more than. Yes, I do too. It was like, it

moved fast. I could get to the food court quicker. And it had the violence I was looking for when I was that age. Yeah, for sure. And I think that's also the big thing is like, when I was looking forward to rewatching this, I was like, oh, you know, it's kind of and especially watching the first one, I'm like,

it's kind of cool that like, this was a perfect time to remake Dawn of the Day. because the first Don of the Dead is the 70s, mall culture is just coming on. Totally. We're all like, what are these big monstrosities in our suburban towns? And then, like, in the aughts, like, mall culture is obviously cresting.

Right. The wave is cresting. The Bush shit is going on. It would have been great to get more social commentary. That's why Romero wins in the Outs because Land of the Dead is the George W. Bush movie, and it's so much better than this. Oh, for sure. I don't like also.

So like when the Romero one starts, of course, it's the second of these movies. Night had already happened. So in the world that this takes place in, the zombie stuff is already going on. So it's like the shit is just happening. Like it starts with like there's the like inner city building that they raid and they're fucking killing all this people and everything. Like that's that's what's happening. You get the stuff with like the news is going on. This is like everything.

It starts with the start, which kind of stinks. And it's like wouldn't you know it? It's in a hospital too. It's in a green hospital. Why is this hospital, the interior of it, painted stark green? I thought we were doing like filter stuff. No, no, these walls are painted like ecto-cooler green. Well, this movie was filmed, I think, entirely in Ontario.

Maybe it's a Canadian thing. They get through green hospitals up there for some reason. Also set in Milwaukee instead of Pittsburgh. Do you think the zombies in this were created by maybe a Dahmer experiment gone wrong? Oh, dude, he tried to like microwave some leftovers and something went sideways. It's alive. That's great. Like someone, that's the way you start this because Dahmer had been dead for years and like the thing happened in the 80s.

But someone unearths the catacombs where he was. Right. And like a return of the living dead, but with Dahmer. I would watch that. Oh, no. This fucking serial cannibals fucking research labs spawned a zombie outbreak. That it's been long enough. This emaciated tie man with his shirt off starts biting everybody.

I feel like making a Dahmer thing now is like making a Jack the Ripper thing. Yeah, it sucks that they died, but, you know, it's been a while. Well, we got Dahmer movies. We got the Jeremy Renner one that's kind of okay. Right, yeah. Well, there you go. It's a cycle. What was the most recent one?

Who is at that play? Was that, um, Oh, Peter's. It was the, it was the Ryan, uh, what's his face show? Murphy. Murphy deal. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, which I didn't see. I was conflating it with. I watched the, um, part of at least the, oh, Zach, um, God damn it. High school musical dude. Oh, Zach Efron.

Zach Efron played Ted Bundy. Yes, that's great. In a Netflix thing. Why don't they do like a, like, you know, Dahmer, why don't they do a Hannibal thing? You could see the delicious cooking. Like really played up that it was actually kind of cool, kind of nice.

Sexy Dahmer. Sexy Dahmer, right? But was it like delicious, Bumdy and delicious cooking, though? Or was it like, I'm more proud of the pain. like Hannibal's make a delectable five course experience

it doesn't really translate to cheese curds or whatever Yeah you're not getting Fall Gras in Milwaukee in 1981 You got some cheese whiz on there Just gonna put it on his dick and eat it But yeah so like Sarah Polly is

Playing a nurse in this movie And it's like She's working for some like dickhead doctor And she's like getting up a shift or whatever And like It's just the traces tints of like stuff's kind of starting to happen. I was like, man, just start in the thick of thing. Well, it's kind of cool because it's really weird. Like, I think Sean of the did came out

a couple weeks after this. They were like really parallel path. I forgot that was 04 also. And like a lot of the beginning is very similar of like the character like ignoring what is going on. Right. You know what I mean? Yes. Three dead today, blah blah blah blah. Like you just kind of change the station to whatever. Yeah. It's just the news. I mean, nowadays you can turn on the news. It's like 3,000 dead. Oh my God. It's just nonstop. Yeah. So I would ignore it too. And so, yeah, she goes back home to suburbia, which we all know is the true zombie world. Exactly. Every single house looks exactly the same in this neighborhood. And man, you know, but they go to bed, you know, they wake up the next day.

Her husband, Lewis, I think, Lewis or something. Yeah, Lewis, I believe. So this is the neighbor girl that runs in and bites. The neighbor girl. The roller skates, and she's like coming home from work. Like, oh, we'll go skating later. Like, all right, weird girl. Just why don't you go with your parents?

friends or something. This is your parents' problem. And also like... Lock your fucking doors. Lock your goddamn door. Because even Lewis when he wakes up, he's like, Veronica, is that you? You and your mom have a fight or something? I'm like, this should not be something that you should be, what the fuck's that girl I'm doing to my house? You're right, because that totally tells me this is not the first time this little girl wandered over here.

Dennis the Menace girl. Yep. And this is the sexually active couple. They fuck through the news, by the way. Yes. Oh, dude. You have some shower sex. But it must not be that great because she doesn't mourn here. him at all. No, she doesn't give a fuck. She's ready for this bland dick at the mall. Yes.

Dude, this guy, I don't know what fucking wet paper factory you found this guy in. But he's not great. According to IMDB, they wanted, or Nathan Fillion audition would be much better as whatever. Is it Michael is this character? Michael, yeah. Played by Jack Weber or something. He's been in some stuff, yeah. But like, apparently Ty Borel auditioned for that role and like they auditioned for the opposite

roles. One of those deals. Yeah. But also, like, that doesn't even make it better because it's also, sorry, but not a character. I mean, it's just like, yeah, it's the soft-spoken guy who pretty much is right about everything and pretty good at stuff. And then nothing out, like, you know nothing about him. No. He doesn't even have fun quips.

Now, he's got, fun quips. He's divorced and he was good at being a dad. But I need a monologue about, like, what happened? That goddamn kid. And then the neighbor fucking ran. and bit my kid's throat out. You know what I mean? Or like the neighbor backed him over with a Chevy or something.

Well, this, this kid, this Lewis gets it real bad here, which is really important. It sets the tone for the carnage you're about to see. And I like the zombie design of the little girl with the face kind of mangled. And you're like, oh, this is like, we're really doing it. You know what I mean? Especially like 20 years later, which is a huge influence on this, isn't really a zombie zombie movie movie movies. Days. 20 days, lady.

I'm always going to do that. I'm gonna be doing it the whole episode, yeah. 28 days later, huge influence on this movie. This is like, there's not really a zombie zombie. This is like full on zombie. Oh, yeah. Zombies ain't in my neighbor's shit.

It took the idea of like the inspected and the fast running and whatnot and just used that to usher in the modern age of zombie shit. Like without this movie, I don't think without 28 days later, but without this movie, you don't have the Walking Dead TV show.

That lasts, but just still going on. In some franchise point or another, that show is still existing. Is that like 20 years now practically? Probably. No, it's less than that. Really? We were, because at Daredevil shows now over 10 years old.

Yes. I think that's still going. I think it's probably 16 years because I think it was probably the same year this show came out. Our show came out. Our show came out. I was just living in a story when it came out. I was really excited when it came out.

Of course. Yeah. Now, I remember being totally excited for it. And I was for several years. For several years, but it's been 16. What's Andrew Lincoln? up to lately? I haven't heard

hiding or hand. He's just opening them. He's not working. He's just dropping Lincoln logs in the toilet. Whoa, stars there just like us. You have to say Lincoln log. You know what I mean? If you blow up a toilet, oh, sorry for the Lincoln logs. Right. He's a chimney sweep guy.

He left a couple of Lincoln logs in there, did I? Pardon? You know, you do have to flush eventually, Andrew. That's not funny anymore. It wasn't funny the first time. It was. It was. It Looks like he has gone to making some TV back overseas, I think. There was a show last year called Coldwater. Do you think he regrets killing his character off that early in the show?

I mean, it wasn't that early, but like, I felt like he wanted to get out. I thought he wasn't he back? He's not dead. That's what I was just going to say. There was a thing. He's not dead. No, there's a movie or something. By the way, we're going to get back to Dawn of the Dead 2004 shortly, but unfortunately

there's not much movie year to talk about. Yeah, no, Dawn of the Dead. It was a mini-series. Not done with that Walking Dead. It's called Walking Dead, calling the Ones who live 24, six episodes. It was him,

Denai Guerrera, playing Michone again, and fucking Terry O'Quinn is involved, playing a major of some kind. Those guys get up to all sorts of trouble each and every week. Major trouble. The love story between Rick and Michone

changed by a world that is constantly changing. That's fucking terrible and written by A&N. Will they find themselves in a war against the living, or will they discover that they, too, are the Walking Dead? Oh. I don't give a shit. We'll see. But yeah, so she,

big freak out here in the house. We get a little shining reference. Got to start a horrible with a shining reference. Did I miss it? The dude coming his face through the bathroom door there. Oh, sure, yes. Yeah, big time. Here's Johnny.

Yes. Similarly. That was just Danny Torrance dialogue. Okay, yeah. I thought it was the Ducktails. Was it? Oh, dude, ducktails. a bit, that's trouble.

Oh, do you get duct-tip? Like a little fucking Huey and Louis zombies? There has to be in the newer version maybe, which is also, by the way, animation damnation this month is the new ducktails. That's right. They might do some like, oh, here's a fun zombie episode or something. I wouldn't be surprised. But in this world, the ducks

would be safe because the dogs are safe, right? No one's biting the dog. Yeah. That's a good question. Would it be the same virus for the ducks and the dogs? Ooh, shit. Yeah. Oh, no. Maybe it's a thing where like the beagles don't get it, but the zombies still want to eat them.

Okay. So it's just like fucking Uncle Scrooge donned down on some fucking mob eagle. I remember when you take the old yeller out back, remember shoot him in the head or destroy the brain. Oh, man. But yes, so Lewis turns into a zombie. She runs out of the house. Some good, like chasing her and everything.

This dude is booking it. I love the neighbor with the gun, the handgun that's just standing in his lawn. Get back. Just yelling at people. Which is just a neighbor, really. He's standing his ground is what he's doing. He sure is. And then he gets hit by a fucking ambulance or whatever.

Oh, dude, it's wild. Beautiful. See, fucking CGI getting hit by a car. Want to point it out, though, as she is battling the husband, she gets fucking hip-checked into this bathtub, right? And she kind of like gets up like, well, woozy, whoa, whoa. And she's got her legs over the tub. You've got some bare feet here.

Oh, for sure. And Zach Snyder is paying attention to those tutsies. She comes back out from the toe Dude, they gently go on the bathroom rug like that Just boop Just gently Just a little Just a little

This is goes Sarah Polly at this point You know she was I mean obviously a bunch of independent stuff But this is the right This is the biggest thing that she had ever done Is your child actor too? Yeah she was a Canadian child actress Child actress and now she's a filmmaker You know she makes both documentary and narrative

I like that woman talking was good Yes that was good That was a tough watch I forget now The movie that she made That's I think it's about the relationship With like her and her father I think I can't remember the name of it

But that was that was also very good It's a doc about her father I think Any zombies in that? My father talking? My zombie father talking I think it was what it was called Roar is he was pretty sorry

We get a great copter shot Right here of the neighborhood And you see like Shits going down plumes of smoke going up and whatever and that sort of kicks things off. You just see everything's like totally fucked up. I love the

truck tea bones another car and it goes into a gas station big explosion which the trivia tells you that's them referencing the story that like the young lovers tell in Night of the Living Dead and I was like maybe. Weirdly enough

I've only seen Night of Living Dead like through like two or maybe twice. Is that right? And it's been a long time too but Dawn, I've seen a bunch for whatever reason. I've seen those two a ton of times. And it wasn't until I was much older that I started to like day a little more. Yeah, day's pretty cool. I've seen it way less though because of that.

But like night and dawn, night, it would be tough to say which I've seen more. I was obsessed with both of those. Sure. The standard deaf DVD days, those were on repeat. You seem like the type. Yeah, no, weird freak. I just realized because the line came into my brain. You know, who could have been in this movie, Milwaukee royalty, Mike Shank and...

And, oh, and what's his face? Mark Gorshaw, yes, of course. The American movie. Oh, don't worry, just got a little bite on my forearm, Markets, cool. We're going to make our own documentary, Mike. This is what I've always wanted. It's a fucking zombie outbreak movie is what we're talking about. Oh, hey, anyone check on Uncle Bill recently?

We left off there in the attic, man. He had that gnarly bite on his toe. COVID too would have probably been in some type of zombie movie for sure. Yeah. If only we got to see it. Yeah. Oh, the human flesh is pretty good. It's pretty good.

Yeah, with there's no more room in hell. The dead will walk the earth or something. I don't know. I would love to be in a, I mean, RIP Mike Shank. I would love to be in a fucking ball and he's just wailing on that fucking guitar playing that wizard music. Oh, absolutely. Now I can survive the apocalypse. Like serenade me.

Yeah, follow me around with a, at least an acoustic guitar, maybe a lute if you could find it. Sure. And just strum your wizard shit as I walk by a fucking abandoned foot locker. The loot unplugged. Yeah. Pretty cool. Oh, these zombies are all right once you get to know them.

Not much for talking just like me. You know how a human brain goes beep, beep, beep. The zombie brain, you think goes, eh. Hey, Ma, no, you got to come over and help me out with the documentary. No, we're short on zombies, Ma. I got to make you a zombie for the documentary. Do you think all those family members think it was worth it now? Does he have enough notoriety?

It's a good question. I mean, I think a lot of them for the ground is my guess. I checked on that. Good thing the dead doesn't rise. I think I checked on that. And back when we did the commentary, at least, so maybe there was an update. But I think, I mean, obviously Uncle Bill doesn't make. until the end of the movie.

And I think the father had passed away. But otherwise, the Hooters T-shirt wearing brother, everybody else at the time was still with us. And now, of course, Mike Shank, go on. But, yeah, no, I totally watch that. I would be really curious to see. There should be a check-in movie of some kind. Oh, definitely, like a reunion.

Hell yeah. She gets into a car accident, and it's a great, it's a great cold open, and this is what Zach Snyder is always great at. Yes. Music montage stuff. Absolutely. This is a great opening.

It is. The Johnny Cash song, man, that comes around. It's funny, I was just relistening to this album recently because I saw Nine Inch Nails and they played Hurt and I was like, oh, I want to listen to the Johnny Cash version. Let me listen to the whole album. Great album. That album's awesome. Amazing album.

So this song was like in my head and it came and I was hooting and hollering and watching this intro here. It's really good. And apparently the studio didn't want any pop music in it. Well, just, yeah. And it's like, that's the only time when this like kind of comes. alive. And not that this is a DOA zombie movie, I'm not saying that, but like,

it gives it a little something. It needs a pep to it. Yeah, it absolutely does. It needs a little judge. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of a cool, like, this podcast needs some juge too. You guys ever see because, you know, the neighbor gets hit by a car? You ever see someone hit by a car? I have never seen anyone hit by a car. I've never seen anyone hit by a car, but I remember actually. You guys are missing out.

One time. What are you knocking them down with your own? No, I was walking in Times Square. I used to work in Times Square. out of a building there. I saw an NYPD officer hit by a taxi going like 40 miles away. Oh, my God. Yeah, they went flying in the air.

It was really dramatic. I'm sure. Yeah. Did he like do the roll over the windshield? Did he just go up? Kind of went forward. It was weird. And they were wriggling around on the ground. Oh, my God. Crowd formed. It was very hard for me to get to the 49th Street subway.

Excuse me, guys. I got to. I was. I was wiggling around. Trying to get back to Queens if you could get out of my way. Yes. I didn't see any blood, but... Did not see impact, but I remember one time, I don't know if you were with me, Steve. It was early on in the purchase days. We were in the city.

We were walking downtown. And it was not like bleaker or something. There was a dude that, like, it had already happened. There was a guy riding a bike that got hit by a car. And he was just laying in the street. And people were attending to him and he was like talking. So it was like, fine. It wasn't a bad thing, too bad thing.

but this dude looked exactly like Santa Claus. Oh no. And had like a red t-shirt on and it was just kind of like, you just started Santa get hit by the car. Jesus. It was really something. And like it was- You don't want to be a joke at the morgue, by the way. No, exactly.

So dress not, nothing that looks like a character. Nothing hilariously. Yeah, exactly. Oh, geez, what was Rudolph drunk or something, Santa? I thought Santa, I thought grandma got hit run over by the Ranger. I didn't know it was Santa. Santa, weren't you supposed to be behind the wheel with that? those reindeer? This guy's just dead on

the slab. Hooten and holler and having a good time. Who am I talking to? But yeah, I like the opening montage here. It's a lot of filling you in on what's been happening. There is a cool line like, is this a health or is it a military issue? And you've got this dude, uh, both.

Yeah. Supposedly, Snyder has a director cameo in this, as like a Marine or something. He's when you see they're fucking like shooting Zambis on the White House lawn. He's one of those motherfuckers. Oh, that's cool. Protecting the, the people's

house. Yeah, this isn't isn't as a X-N-N-Mood. No slow motion to be found, by the way. Nothing except for, like, I guess a couple of shots of some bullets falling, but I don't count it. It's not the dramatic, orchestral score-driven slow-mo. Those slow-moes are the bullets falling.

You can see the fruits of Bruce Wayne's parents being said. Coming soon. And there's apparently a story in this called Metropolis. Oh, that's interesting. in the mall. They mention it. It's like, it's supposed to be a comic book store or something?

You know, this movie's quick. It moves at a clip. Yeah. We don't ruminate. We should maybe a little more. It's bizarre that both Gunn and Snyder did this movie together. And now they are like the internet's fucking, you know, it's the two, the two doors, one you can go in. You can either like this Superman movie or that Superman movie.

Another nine shall I come. Why can't you like both? Because it's a whole fucking cult of personality. But also it's kind of funny because, like, James Gunn more or less did fire him from making DC movies. Yeah, it's fair. He took over that studio with Peter Safran and it was like, yeah, we don't want any more. And it's a different direction with, you know, no more, none of those actors, right? No galgadow coming back, nothing.

But so it's kind of cool she wakes up to Ving Rames. And also, you know, like, I just, I fucking love Ving Rames. I love, like, Bing Rames, especially Ving Rames walking around, not sitting in front of a computer terminal. Totally as much as I love him in the Mission Impossible movies and fucking cried when he died in that last one. He is way better fucking boss hog walking around with a fucking shotgun, fucking brutalizing racist mall security guards. The whole thing, it's awesome. He wakes her up. It's kind of cool.

Like speak. You got to speak before I blow your fucking head off kind of a deal. Pretty, pretty right on. So that tells you right there like, this dude knows the score. She doesn't quite understand everything just yet. but he's been through some shit already. And they walk two feet, basically, together. And then they run into fucking Mackay Fyfer,

who you remember from ER and high school high. And that Eminem song. Oh, well, he's in 8mm. He is, but not 8 mile. Eight mile, yes. Excuse me. Oh, no, Mob Spaghetti. Oh, my God, is that video of Mom Spaghetti real?

Please, Mr. I'm looking for movies of Mom Spaghetti. Please tell me that young man won the rap competition You have to go find out if that young man won the rap competition Oh, this is the worst case ever I wish I was investigating another snuff film This is ridiculous I found vomit

It wasn't mom spaghetti It wasn't mom spaghetti Yeah so it's Mackey It's this dude Jake Weber who was on Medium And the pregnant woman Luda Who has been in not much else He was a nothing character. First acting gig was some nothing sexy character in Tim Meadows the ladies.

Oh, wow, the lady. That guy was in the- Me and Chris Kavan saw that in theaters. Oh, wow. I've seen, I've also seen The Ladies Man. But, uh, so that guy was on Medium? Uh-huh. One guy, yeah, Jake Weber.

Okay. Yeah. I'm surprised he wasn't rare because his performance wasn't exactly sizzling. I'm trying to look up the picture of the guy so I can recall which duty is. Jake Weber. Oh, Jake Weber is Michael. He's the bland dude, the love interest. And he's got like immediately.

Love interest, which is like so underbate. I don't need that in my zombie movie. But also if you're going to do it, do it. And then also like you're, can we remember your husband for a second? She's ready to get, get down with Michael pretty quick, dude. Again, you need another, like, we have to stop and take a breath. And she's got to be like, man, we were trying to have a kid. How about a dramatic pause of any kind?

I just watched him get fucking pancaked by an ambulance instead. and whatever it is. But that's fucking cool, so it's fine. Durt, do, do, damn, and it's smush. Because it is so funny how quick this movie moves. It really does. Ving Rames meets Sarah Apollo. They turned to the left.

The rest of the principal cast is there for the most part. And then they're like, hey, that mall over there looks pretty cool. Exactly. They get right to this mall. And that's why, yeah, I don't know. I like the pacing of the Romero better. I like all the time in the news station. And the whole raid on that house, the apartment complex is wild.

and like I know there's stuff before this also but it's way minimal and it's just kind of like setting up the character's world versus showing you like this is what's going on in the fucking streets it's 2004 there's plenty to say socially with a zombie movie

you know what I mean there's plenty to do there but we just don't have no interest they were not interested in which is fine you don't always have to be saying stuff when you're doing a Romero riff you kind of have to say something I agree there's a little bit of a responsibility

there to do something. Like, Walking Dead is Walking Dead. That's its own situation. You know what I mean? You don't always have to have a... Sean of the Dead isn't super political either. But you're indebted to the original. Yes, right.

You're using the fucking title. Yeah. And, you know, the pacing of this is not bad, but it's also the problem. Like, when we get that truckload of other people, get rid of that from the movie, give me five to ten minutes with these characters so I understand them. And your runtime's the same and it's still going to feel fast. That truck pulls up and I'm like, Oh, no.

Because it's a good cat. I mean, aside from Michael, who I just don't like. A quick thing on Michael really quickly. Michael, Michael, Michael. Michael. Michael! Oh, he's a zombie sheriff. There's a bland man coming to your mall's sheriff.

He's a bland English man. Of course he is, isn't he? This guy is cousins with some dude, and that guy is the father of the actress Daphne Keene. How about that? Yeah, there you go. And you know what, IMDB? That's actual trivia. Why don't you put that on somebody's fucking page?

there's a second cousin coming to your town sheriff she played the little girl wolverina whatever the fuck that was it was awesome sheriff i will say Snyder to uh his music choices are always like deeper cuts than not like when uh when the man comes around was not like it was a hip song but it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't and it wasn't and later on uh speaking of logan that move that song is used in those credits as well right kind of like reheated pasta there a little bit you know what i mean like totally right yeah at the same time like the Zach Snyder like Watchmen

those are kind of very obvious musical music yes so yeah the case and point I would use for they're in the Zach Snyder's Justice League Aquaman comes out dramatically to this Nick Cave song it's I forget what it is but it's like a really melodious like deep

real deep cut Nick Cave song and in the Jos Whed version he comes out to Icky Thump so that that is sort of the difference I always thought they should have done Aquaman coming out to like Weans Ocean Man A little fun with it

It's good, it's fun Why not? That's what they should have done for them Aquaman movies Do what Landis did In American Werewolf in London Every pop song is wolfral Every song is water or ocean related

Or something Splish splash I was taken away up Right as the baby pisses in his face? Right Wipe out I still have never seen the second Aquaman film. It's good. There was the second one?

Wait, that's the one with the baby piss? I believe so. Baby piss is the baby. There's no baby in the first one. So, baby piss is second. I thought, yeah, all right. But the second movie, I think is pretty cool. I'm getting old enough that I'm like, let me see letterboxed if I watched a movie.

Here's my thing with these, like, with the in-universe movies. Once, like, the universe kind of fold, I saw it. I just kind of walk away. It's like a restaurant is like, oh, we're going out of business, but we're going to be open for another couple of weeks. I'm like, I'm not going there. I'm not going to eat there. You're going out of business for some reason. Yeah, now I get that. It's a, it's a fun ride. I have to say. And I love the first talk about him. Him and Patrick Wilson, they're teaming up again. Are you sure? I, uh, right here, according to this, it says Eric Siska, two stars.

Oh, wow. More like dumb ride. Does that what your review says? Let me see. There is a review. Let's see. Let's see. Andrew said fun ride. More like dumb ride, two stars. it must take so long for Aquaman to take off all of his rings and bracelets before suiting up. Well, yeah. That's a good review. That's a great review.

It's a great review. They come upon the mall and again, like, they just kind of go into them. It's not surrounded by zombies yet. They can just kind of rush into the mall. Again, like, we just get these characters into the mall. We get Ving battling a zombie-fied mall security guard right away. he just fucking rocks this dude's world into this fountain. Yeah, falling into the fountain, this is something.

But it's a weird, like, so Ving like cuts his arm on the thing or whatever. But like, why is that zombie just sort of stuck there like a glitching video game? I don't understand it. It's like walking into the corner. Because it's later, it's like Michael Kelly or the other racist security guard, the more dufous one. One of them two puts the guy down finally. But I was like, why is he stuck? Is his foot caught?

Like, these are running around zombies. They are. And like the meanwhile, Michael goes into the sporting goods store to check out things. If I go to a sporting good store, the last of my zombie, like very low on my zombie killing weaponry, a croquet mallet, like real low. But at the same time, I'm seeing this croquet mallet. I'm getting kind of excited. I'm like, what's going to go? Oh, he's going to have this croquet mallet. It breaks instantly. Yeah. Well, that's like, you know, you've got like the wooden sword in Zelda.

And you're like, I'm going to go up against a big monster with this thing. and it breaks instantly. Right. So then you just delete the game. You need, like, it's a, it's a sporting good store in fucking Wisconsin. I'm sure you could buy copious guns there. Of course. I guess they wanted to put, they wanted to set the gun store across the street so there's a reason to do that thing.

Sure. But like, an aluminum baseball bat, Michael, it's right there. Michael, it's right there. You get the one from casino, those big pipe hit and motherfuckers knew how to take someone out with aluminum. Or excuse me. aluminum. But he does impale this dude in the head. And again, like, the zombie

kills are good. If you work here, if you have this movie kind of on mute, like, this is a good like one of those, like, it's a bar movie. Bar and a movie, it's a good bar movie, absolutely. Like, the zombie kills, they move, they happen, they're good. I will full on credit. It is pretty great that he walks in on a zombie janitor, like having

a lunch break. Oh, yeah, totally. He's like, fucking eating this dude. It's pretty good. But yeah, so then they come across this team of security guards. It is led by Michael Kelly. CJ. Unrecognizable. Well, he's got this fucking KKK facial hair configuration. You take one look at this character.

You're like, racist as the day is long. He's got a bushy head of hair, you know? He's known now for being a bald gentleman. Very handsome bald gentleman. Doug Stamper on House of Cars. Head blown off on the penguin, if you remember the hat. Oh, yes, yes. Fuck, yeah, that's right.

Inelated by Kristen Miliotti. Yes, he was wrapped up in the Mafia family there. God damn, that's true. show's great too. I think you have Chris, Christian you already shot me in the head. I'd be like, that's pretty hot. Yeah, so that is a sexy way to go out.

My brains are splattered all over the walls. But don't you want to be shot somewhere else so you can like... Enjoy it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to go totally lights out. Yeah, that's true. Maybe the chest. Just is a good place to be shot. Except if it goes right through your heart. That's another

instantaneous lights out. Maybe like get my lungs. Oh, a little lung. Yeah, pop along. Then you can look at your murder. Kristen Milliatty a little longer. I'm like, I hope there's enough blood left in my body for my erection. I do.

And I think Michael Kelly is a perfect example of a character that is almost because A, he's a great actor. Yeah. B, he's doing well in this movie. And C, to everyone's point earlier, he's racist. Like, make him full on racist. He calls him, he opens up, he meets up with Ving Rames. He calls him

Shaq real quick. Just right out of the gate calling this dude Shaquille O'Neal. Let's remember, folks. It's Wisconsin. You can them in there. It's 2004. You know what I mean? Like really just hang a hat on it and then like either that's part of it or that's not part of it. Yeah, I'll tell you what, if this movie wanted to

get like hip to the headlines and have that sort of reflected in the movie, you need a Middle Eastern character here. Yeah. Michael Kelly's going after that guy. And we're doing all sorts of fucking 9-11 and fucking worry rock shit. This is probably a dirty bomb that you guys started or something like.

You people do the chemical. Like, yes, that's the stuff. That's how you would make this, like, political for 2004. Yeah. I mean, you know, instead he's, you're fucking everyday racist. That's totally fine. He's calling him Shaquille O'Neal. There's a thing where he's like, well, that's not my fucking problem.

Great Ving Rames response. If I put my foot up your ass, would that be your problem? Fuck yeah. And you know what? The only way you can put a foot up someone's ass, Ving Rames. Oh, do tell. Is if you get up off the computer seat. So he knows.

He's running around this movie. He will be fucking putting boots up asses. Ethan was putting the boots up the ass. That's true. Ethan just once I would like to put a boot up someone's ass in this franchise. Too busy running. I do think, but I think that this should be the movie. Like, this is the end of the cast, really.

Like, maybe you got the guy across the way. I think that's fun, the guy across the way with the sign. That's an interesting thing. And the tension is who's going to run the mall because he's a mini, Michael Kelly's like, no stealing shit. Like he's still like king shit about this. That's, yeah. He gets diffused really quickly and then we get 40 more characters and it's like,

and then he comes back at the end as kind of a good guy. But as he redeems him. Which would be like fine for that character to do that. You could still do that without the busload of 10 other people that come in. Yes. But we got, there's a news report that's watching TV in like a Best Buy type store. We get a great Tom Savini cameo as the sheriff. And he's kind of more of the sheriff please.

Can this guy be in the movie? Yeah. Has the sheriff ever going to make his way to the mall, please? How about that? Yeah, you could check it out. It's one of three cameos that are in this from the original movie, which is pretty cool. They're all on TV, which is a cool way to do it. Exactly, yeah.

But Savini says, like, you have to shoot them in the head or whatever. Yeah, he's basically doing, like, the instructions. And it's kind of a riff, I think, on the sheriff at the end of the first one. Put another one of them there on the fire. Oh, they burn up real good. Oh, yeah. That fucking guy. Because Savini's kind of doing that, like, a little bit.

So we're walking around here. This is, I mean, I guess the thing I wrote here is these mall security guards would join ICE in two seconds. Oh, for sure. They have this thing where they're like, we're just going to hide in the mall. This is all going to blow over because as they put it, America always sorts its shit out. And I'm like, all right, you're right there. You're just about, ah, nope, there's just going to be a busload of people coming to ruin any of that. And I know before, I'll put your tweet down or put your bad iTunes review.

Give us some good iTunes reviews. Please. Yes, we are old men saying iTunes. I think, what is the podcast app now? Is iTunes a thing now? Maybe not. It's Apple Music and Apple Podcasts. Give us a good review on whatever platform you subscribe on.

Sure. Because it's not only just like, oh, I want my liberal agenda thrown back of me. I would like any point of view. You know what I mean? Like that'd be kind of. You know what I mean? But there's just nothing. And, you know, that's, again, it's kind of annoying, but it's fine.

There's an army guy on TV. who says... This is Scott Reniger from... from... Daughter Dead as well. This is the guy that gets bit in the first movie.

Yeah, he's like the dude who turns in the elevator at the end. He's the one who's like, oh, there's a Fort Pastor or something like that. Like, that's where everyone's going. And so we sort of...

It's that fight over... This happens in all these movies. Like, who's the leader? Who's going to do what? And you realize really quickly, like CJ, like we said, he thinks America's just going to sort of shit out so he's going to sit there

watch TV the whole time and they're like, hey, I'm sure you've thought of great ideas like painting sent help on the roof and all this stuff. Or hanging yourself. Oh, dude. Right? That's a good idea. I would go to Hot Topic and just like fucking hang myself at the Tim Burton section. You know what I mean? A bunch of Tim Burton T-shirts tied together as a noose.

What's this? What's this? What's this? What's this? He's hanging on a tree. What's this? He's coming down to me. Yes, the devil. But yeah, so they do this, the roof thing,

and that's when they spy Andy across the way. And he's like, hey, I'm fucking all alone. You have much like, I guess, Kid Rock's backyard now, a fucking helicopter hovers over this mall for a second. And is like, eh, maybe not. Yeah. And just fucking drives away.

Fries away. Yeah, I guess flies away. Technically choppers off. It choppers away. To Fort Pastor. leaving them, I guess, sort of stranded there. So, CJ... I wouldn't stop either.

What? Oh, you wouldn't stop for people? No way. It's a fucking helicopter. I mean, it might have already been packed to the gills. You never... You don't want to overstuff a helicopter. Yeah, I've seen the footage of the end of Vietnam.

Let's not get a thousand people on this thing. Well, you're doing the thing when you're walking on shit. Sorry, buddy, I don't have anything. Sorry, buddy, but I don't have anything. Sorry, buddy. My helicopter is full. Sorry, pal. I'd really like to help you.

I just don't carry any change on me. Oh, you were looking for a ride. Don't have a seat either. It'd be cool if they threw a few quarters. Get some change, buy some food. Good luck, buddy. Hope it picks up for you. I hope this helps.

Bye. This totally sucks, doesn't it? Choppering away now. What are you going to do? Wish I could do more, pal. See you. It would have been neat if, and I get it, it's probably a little too expensive. Were they doing that for Kid Rock?

Like, what? Hey, buddy. Hope things pick up for you. Some change. Hey buddy, you look like every time you walk into a room, the room instantly smells like piss for some reason. Have a good weekend. He does look like he smells like piss. He looks like he smells like piss.

He really does. Right into the mailbag, if you ever met Kid Rock. I would like to know the odor. Yeah. It's probably a musky mix of B.O. Piss and broken dreams and racism. Sure. Oh, yeah.

And fucking pedophilia probably. Oh, I'm sure. He likes him young. I'm sure. We all heard that classic song. What, ball with the ball? Nah, he's got some other song He's talking about, like,

Cowboy? I don't know. How many of those can you fucking name? I think that's it for me. I think I would have, I would have tapped out at Cowboys. Honestly, I don't know that I would have pulled, I wouldn't have pulled Cowboy.

I want to be a Cowboy. He's like the fucking chorus. Yeah, I'm a Cowboy, baby, with the sun wrap out and it's wrong to grow. I would only listen to the Richard Cheese version. God, he wants to be a cowboy. Robert, you are just a fucking rich asshole from Detroit. you piece of shit, whatever, dude.

But yeah, we kind of like immediately, like after the helicopter goes away, they get the drop on the bad. Security guards have been like kind of keeping our heroes in like, they lock him in a store. They lock him in a store. And then they kind of flip it. And now Michael is running the show.

Right. Now Michael is King White guy. Right. Which I mean, as like personality was, I'm like, give it back to CJ. Or how about Ving Rames is right there? I mean, there's nothing to him. It's like a piece of toast.

And he's not even that like... It's like a piece of toast. He's running the outfit now. And it's just being like, we gotta stay calm. We gotta stay toast. We gotta be white toast. He's the kind of toast that you like take the toast out of the toaster. And like, you take the first bite and you're like,

should have put this on a higher setting? This is that toasted at all. Like, hot, hot crunchy bread. Not yet toast. Barely browned. This is like slightly golden. So just it's like you're eating like hot, stale bread is what? the butter isn't really melting on it properly.

What the fuck did I do? It's just two end pieces. This guy is an end piece of bread toast. There is a piece of toast that's running your movie, Sheriff. Michael is coming. I put six jams on him. Six different jams, Sheriff. It's very funny to me.

But yeah, this is like, they lock up. Now the, our CJ and all of his. goons are locked up but actually there's like hunky young sheriff that's like in on it who gets a quick F bomb before because he wants to get a soy latte oh yes the most like

repugnant of the three is like oh yeah you know drops it real quick FA I don't have to spell at all ends with a T yeah that guy is Bart I believe but the other guy who wants the soy latte yeah he's like in it with them now

he's in it with them because he's not, I would say he's not racist. Of the three, he's like, I just have this job. Is this the guy peeping on the security camera? Is that this one? Oh, I think that when he sees Sarah Polly changing his shirt.

Is that him? Well, the thing is, these nondescript white guys. Yes. Plenty of them. Can't deal with them. He's like, this third security guard is like a weaker version of the pill popping drug stealing doctor on the pit. Whatever that guy is.

What do you call it there? Dr. Landon? Langdon. I don't know the actor's name. He'll always be Langdon. Patrick Ball, I think, is the actor. Oh, I think you're right. Kevin Zegers is Terry in this movie, who is the third young, hunky version of the whatever,

of the security guard that's got a heart of gold. He's like not in it with them. He's the one that, like, at the end, he's got the girlfriend. He's made himself a lady friend here out of the whole thing, you see. But so then this truck just shows up, basically, right? Right. The only thing that I want to note because I love him, Ken Forie comes on TV as the pastor. He gets to reiterate the same line he had in the first movie when the, you know, no room in hell. Dead will walk the earth. Just love seeing that guy around. He fucking rocks.

I love Kenfrey. And Ving Rhames is named Kenneth as kind of a tip of the hat there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, we wake up the next morning. There's a bunch of shit about like. There's Kenneth in the bathroom. Kenneth in the bathroom. And we're talking all this stuff about like faith and everything. like that. Right. And Andre,

you get a little bit of what he's doing here. Like he just wants to have this baby, raise it, give it better life than he had. Luda, the Russian lady? Luda, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, this would be cool because Ving Rames and Mackay Fyfer, good actors.

Yeah. It's their last scene together because they have this thing of like, you do what you do, man, like, you know, McCai Fiver,

like, hard scrabble life, probably, you know, quote unquote, on the street, as they would say. Sure.

And he's a cop. Like, you know, whatever. Right. What? Yeah. Let's explore the, but you know what? I feel like the, the, the dudes doing the screenwriting and the directing, don't really have

the toolkit to address with that scene. Sure. That scene between two really good black actors could really kind of, you know, hit a home one with. Ving Rames does have a good line here towards the end of that scene of like, oh, I get it. You saw hell yesterday and you're scared of going to hell yourself. Go in the stall, say five Hail Marys, wipe your ass and you and God can call it even. Yeah. Pretty good line.

It's pretty great. And because it's Ving, he fucking delivers it with a plum. It's awesome. But this is, you're right, Eric, this is where we also see Terry.

He's peeping on a security camera. Sarah Polly like changes into clean clothes or something like that. But yeah, so here we go. Truck running straight to the mall. CJ, totally right. Does not want to let them in.

No. Hey, man, there's fucking too many people in this mall movie already. If you get out more people with this mall movie, he's fucking yelling. We haven't even defined

the characters that are here yet. What are we doing? Exactly. Guarantee you, someone's getting less. off down there. Whoever down there, you're not going to say shit in this movie. Luda, this woman from Russia, that's all I know about her besides that she's pregnant. I didn't even know she was Russian until halfway through.

She's like, I want the baby Russian name. And I'm like, what, you're Russian? Sure. Hey. She's Russian to the crypt. She also has a secret scratch on her arm. Secret scratch. We love it.

Jane Silent Bob's secret scratch, dude. This movie. could have used a J& Silent Bob Cabb. Yeah, if ever we need... Bighting arms, biting arms. Chumping legs, legs, legs, yeah. If you ever need some fucking heroes from mall rats to come to this mall,

now you're talking. Actually, where... Doesn't mall rats kind of... Does it take place in Wisconsin? No, it's all Jersey, but I... But they filmed... Yes, they filmed somewhere in the Midwest. Oh, yeah, that must be what I'm thinking of. Yeah, of course. Of course it's true. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. filmed it out there somewhere.

But yeah, this is this is where we do the switcheroo with the guns. Now, yes, the people with the guns want to help the people with the truck or whatever. We'll take a three-nippled fortune teller in this. It could use it. Sure. Ty Beryl can fuck that lady too. Sure, yes. But he's fucking that girl.

I'm like, what are we even doing? Yes. But like here he's part of this truckload. He's in the truckload. The one good addition, I would argue. It's, you know, because yeah, he's playing this character. He's a good actor. He's a very funny actor.

I wonder, based on the haircut, the sideburns, and all the snappy snap lines that he has, and yes, he fucks doggy style to Richard Cheese and lounge against the machine. Certainly. A lot of people did that in 2004. Does, is this kind of a James Gunn surrogate character? Oh, yes. He's kind of made up to look like how James Gunn used to look. And he's got, I mean, like, ultimately the guy's an asshole and a coward and gets the death that he rightfully deserves.

But, like, when you see him come in and he's just like a flashy guy and this, that's the other thing, I was like, hmm. You look like you'd wear a t-shirts that says porn star on it. And you look like you could tweet about dead babies or whatever. Sure, man. Man, remember that whole...

It was a bit of a debacle, yeah. Some may call it a non-controversy. Yes. Pretty much. Because that's what, that's what people... That's how white guys talked in the early 2000. Isn't it funny? Dead baby jokes and whatever else. Early 2000s, or, or you're 2008 or whenever it was

on Twitter, you make your dead baby jokes. Nowadays on Twitter, you see the dead babies. Right? You do? I'm going to workshop this. You got it. I think you're there. Tight five. It's going to be part of my tight five.

Tighter than that Rob Schneider tight five. What would just have to be? You're not going to be mad if we're making fun of Rob Schneider and CPAC. Those are very dear to the hearts of some of our listeners. Listen, if you're a fan of Rob Schneider, you should be embarrassed by that tight five. All right.

Acknowledge bad bad fucking incompetence stand-up comedy we can see it. That was worse than hot chick. The hot chick. We also have to acknowledge the great Matt Fruer in this film. Yes, Matt Fruhrer is also part of this gang of people we didn't want to come into

the movie. Poor poor Max headroom here. Nothing to do. Big Ross from fucking Honey I Shrunk the kids. Got nothing to except die within five minutes of screen time. In my brain, I was like, is he kind of playing the same character? No, but I'm thinking of the other guy with the hat that winds up making it through the rest of the movie. I think his name is Tucker in the film.

Tucker, yes. He's also in this fucking, this clown truck full of people. He's not like a Canadian character actor. I appreciate when he shows up. He's in Land of the Dead. Oh, really? Yeah, he's been a bunch of things. But I love Matt Fruer, and he's the one with the daughter, and he's got a bite in his arm.

He's Frank. A very large woman in a fucking wheelbarrow. Which, you know immediately where this is going. A wheeler down the street with that shit. I mean, listen, you were looking outside the wind. of this truck as you were driving around looking for a safe passage and whatever. You see what these monstars look like, right? Take a look at what you got in that wheelbarrow.

And when she looks exactly like the fucking monstars that you've been running from, dump that wheelbarrow out in the parking lot and come into the mall. They should never have brought this woman in there. That's a big meal to distract the zombies. I think it's smart to just shove her down. Yeah, totally. Then they'd fill up on bread before they got to the mall. Exactly. Exactly.

But yeah, it is a bummer that Frank, Matt Fruber's character, goes out so fast. But what I think is really cool, big props to the makeup folks for this movie. Every time the movie cuts back to Matt Fruer, his zombification increases every single time. Like it starts out like kind of slowly. You're like, oh, he looks a little sicker. And they keep, dude, it's a really nice progression and it looks cool. I do think that the makeup. in general is really great.

And, you know, throughout the film. It really is. Even, you know, big lady here who is, I mean, like, and Sarah Polly's a nurse. She's trying to take care of her. And then she basically, this lady dies and comes back immediately. I love the, yeah. So putting the, putting like the sack over her face.

I guess it's a blanket. Just looking at her, I'm like, put a sack on that. And then she raises up slowly. That's nice. It's pretty. Also, if it was a sack, she might not be able to, like, bite through it. Like, the sheet just falls off. Yeah, that's the sack would be, that's where you want to be.

But, yeah, Boyd Banks is the dude who plays Tucker. And he's also, on top of Land of the Dead, he's in Jason X. And I think he's like maybe one of the campaign assistant guys in Black Sheep. Okay. He's in Black Sheep in some capacity. He's also at Table B12 at Horicon for sure. 100%. I mean, look, you're a more affordable option.

You don't have the Michael Bean. Maybe you spent your money too much on Michael Bean pictures. Yeah, so only $5 for a photo over here. Exactly. You get down into the fucking parking garage and Boyd Banks as his table set up. No, he's not in the park. You don't have the Matthew Lillard money anymore because you overspent and you're like,

well, I did want to get somebody from an ot's horror movie. Okay. Yeah. And you know what? I bet that dude's delightful. I would talk about Jason X with that guy. Why not? But yeah, so the lady wakes up.

Anna jabbing her with this fire poker is really great. Sarah Polly gets her right in the fucking eyeball. And that's great Sarah Polly reacting to like, this is the first time realizing what happens when you're killing zombies and she's like, holy shit, she's got a really good holy shit, which is funny. And she now surmises anyone who is bit will become a zombie, that is how that shit works.

And they're like, well, that fucking Matt Fruer over there, Max Headroom over there is not looking too hot. And Andre's like, yeah, yeah, check that guy, he looks fucked up. As he slinks back to his fucking infected wife. Next dead room. Soon to be undeadroom.

Oh, dude, you're just fucking tickling me all sorts of ways. I like to tackle. I like tickle. He's got a dirter there. Nicole, who's just like, oh no, my, not my dad. It's like, I checked. I would have put money on this woman was in Can Hardly Wait.

Sure. And she's definitely not. But I thought she was the woman in Can't Hardly Wait that makes fun of Seth Green and goes, Chester Cheetah. Well, I think it was the hair color at the time, which is that like super like neon red almost. A strawberry short date. Yes. kind of deal. We love that back

now. But Michael is like, hey, so if Frank, you're bit, man, we should probably just shoot you in the head right now, right? And this girl's like, come on, man, I'm right. This is my father. But don't worry, after this scene, you'll never worry or think about him again or mourn him or have any type

of emotional response. Besides for a dog. Well, yeah, you're going to, you're going to be hanging with a cool dog and you're going to have this, you know, probably a little aggressive but seems like an overall good guy Mall Security Guard boyfriend. Yeah, somebody that if you squid hard enough

looks enough like James Marston to make it work. You know what I mean? It's not exactly James Marston, but if you're trying to get there, like, oh, you kind of looks like it. Absolutely. So it's really great.

Like Sarah Polly walks in and she's like, Frank, Michael's coming in here to shoot you. Wait, what the fuck? And then it's kind of great because he's like, well, I'm sorry, Frank. That's just what I'm going to have to do because he's a British guy. He's just doing their flatten it out like that.

And she's egging him on. Like, yeah, come on. You said you wanted to fucking do it. Come on, big boy, kill him. Shoot him in the fucking head. Let's go. But then the smart move is, you put him in another room. You have Ving Rames there just kind of waiting, waiting it out a little bit.

Dude, Ving pulling down the gate. Like, anyone in here is just you and me now, motherfucker. Also, like, let's conserve your ammo. I think Ving should, like, bash his head in with something. I just would trust the bashing. You know what I mean? If I got the gun. Because, like, you don't want to be bitten.

to be too close. What's a big, what's a long basher? Maybe a spear? Yeah, maybe get like a ceremonial sword from like Spencer's gifts maybe. From one of those fat guy anime stores. Oh, dude, there's a fat guy anime store. This has changed the whole game. Absolutely.

Like, that's what it should be. Like someone walks into the store like, I got it. And Ty Burrell makes them like sarcasm. What are you going to get in there? Comic books and Funko pops or whatever? And then they just come out with fucking nun chunks and swords. Like, no, dude, this is a fucking loser anime story. Come on.

It's in the $300 act, but we don't got to pay for shit. Exactly. Fruer, did I miss hear this line? If I heard it read, it's a pretty good line. Like, Ving is waiting for him to turn. And I heard Fruer say, I want every second. In other words, like, don't do it until I'm turned. Exactly.

Which I think is pretty nice. But you also have to test the theory. We're not entirely sure. Precisely. And it's kind of great. We cut back to Sarah Polly and Michael and like they're flirting a little bit. They're at a bookstore and she's just like,

I'm glad you didn't do it. Oh, it's great. There's a couple of times in this movie where there's like odd silence and then blammo someone's getting killed. Which again is, this is, that's good character development. Immediately we cut to the now with the sickness montage.

Big montage now. Richard cheese. I got to tell you, I listen to it on the way in. It's good. I could use some more. I could get off my high horse and listen to more Richard Cheats.

Exactly. You know what? We had it out on the studio before we went on the air and I will come down off my tower. That's a catchy fucking cover. It just is. He's got a good voice. I feel like I should have a nice little thing of whiskey in my hand. We're having fun. And it's better than the fucking original. Which we plays

at the end, which sure is. And I know. I know. But that music is just not for me. Richard Chees... To be fair, that's... Even on the new metal end, disturbed is like in the nadir end. Is that right?

I don't know where they stand in the new metal hierarchy. In terms of like actual music, that's okay. I don't have Chris Cabin here to back me up here. That's true. But we know, I wish we had our Uber driver from Minneapolis here. Tell that story, dude.

This dude was listening to New Metal. Fucking psychopath. And we were like, all right, cool. Yeah, definitely we'll listen to fucking Nookie or whatever. Because it was break stuff. It was break stuff.

When we walk in and it was like, we're going to the venue to do the show. Fuck yeah. Build me up. Energy. Totally. And then 30 seconds of the song, he switches it to a different song. And you're like, okay, so breaks stuff wasn't for you.

It's a different song. It's another new metal song. I'm like, okay, we're same ballpark. 30 seconds into that. He switches it to another song. We went through like 10, 12 songs on a 10 minute drive. It was ridiculous. We had the offspring for a little bit.

We had red hot chili peppers for a little bit. There's a little Marilyn Manson there. Beautiful People was happening. And again, like, it's not even like, you know, sometimes at a song, like after a song, crests and you're like, if you're, I'm not this kind of person. But if you are like, ah, you know, I got enough from this song. It's been two and a half minutes. I'm just going to move on.

We're talking 40 to 50 seconds just when you're getting into it. Just when it's like, it was awful. It's real. And it just cuts. Like right when you were like getting ready to fucking rock, this dude just hit seek and change the channel. Outrageous. And I was doing a lot of like, oh great. Like a lot of passive aggressive asshole shit in the back of the car.

You sure are. I was just silent. Yeah, I was like, I'll talk about this later once everybody's gone. I'm a coward. That guy got five stars and a low tip. That's what you got to do. But the montage is sort of like this is what the movie kind of, this is what the actual original movie is. Exactly.

Fucking around in the mall. Like literally the point of it is like it's consumerism. Like what are we going to do in a, look, you have everything at your fingertips, but you can't do shit with it. You know what I mean? Yeah, everything in your fingertips, you're still bored. Yes, exactly. You got Ving. Ving's doing a cool, we're messaging with Andy to play chess. And he gets beat again and he writes, like, we need a new game.

I do like that the new game becomes we're picking off zombies. But they say like a zombie that looks like a celebrity. And then Andy has to guess who they mean and shoot that person. Right. The first one is Jay Leno. It sure is. Jay Leno. Bert Reynolds. Bert Reynolds. Then the weird one is they're like, how about Rosie O'Donnell?

And this must be fucking Trump. favorite part of this movie. They're like, oh yeah, Rosie, yeah. How about Rosie? Yeah. It's, it was 2004. It's kind of edgy cool to be like, I'm not watching that fucking Rosie O'Donnell show where she should play his cooches. Yes, I'm not watching a daytime talk show because I have a job. Yeah. It's not for you. Why are you mad at a daytime talk show for? We just loved dumping on Rosie O'Donnell and he loves dumping on Rosie O'Donnell because she publicly dumped on him all throughout the 1990s. I'm sure it was a fine show to fold laundry

dude. I watched a lot of the Rosie O'Donnell show. Really? I did not. Because it was on at like 4 o'clock or something. So it was like right after school basically and I would just sit there and she'd have like... Indoctrinate you? Actually what it was really useful for and this wasn't me because I didn't get into

Broadway stuff until later. That's like a total extension of me being with Chelsea is opening me up to that world. But before that like people like kids across the country could use that show. She always had Broadway and they were always doing things they were up on Broadway and she had all this. So that was like the way that that culture like

went out across America and I think that's like incredibly invaluable. But this is also sort of James Gunn, early James Gunn. I think he's grown out of a lot of this. Absolutely. That early odds like the dude came from trauma, ladies and gentlemen. You know what I mean?

We're lucky it's this cleaned up. Exactly. But they have this. This is where there's a little bit of this but again there's too many fucking people. for it to be emotionally resonant. They have this dinner and this is where they're talking about

like, well, it seems like it's a conversation at first, but then it feels like Anna is just grilling Michael because they're talking about like, what's your worst job? You know, your... It's just flirt town. And everyone has to watch these two flirt. There's fucking eight other people sitting around this table in the middle of this food court.

My job is nondescript and I did nothing. My worst job, I'd say, was my marriage. My best job was being a father. Oh, dude. You're trying to nail this chick, like you wouldn't believe. Absolutely. And what happened to that kid?

What happened to that? I want to hear what... Let me know why you failed. Before I get into a relationship. Oh, yeah. Worst job I had was a marriage. I'm a serial cheater. I go fucking nuts with the cheating.

Anna, I'm just terrible with monogamy. We're in this mall. What's up? Dude, Mel Silver and a zombie apocalypse. I would love it. He'd fuck himself just right to death. The world's ending, baby. Let's get going.

I didn't know if you fucked a zombie. You became one. My dick's got teeth. I tried to wrap it up and she still bit it off. Zombie Jackie. There is like another character who Norma is in this movie who's like the older lady, like the brassy driver. The brassy lady who just is kind of like becoming a leader in the community such as it is.

And like she's kind of there. and like the power goes out in the middle of this scene that might have character development. So stop that immediately. Yeah, better literally shut off the lights of the movies so that stuff stops. And look, there's a little thing about like, Anna goes to Mackay Fiver's like,

hey, how's your wife do it? I'd love to check on her. You know, I'm a nurse, et cetera. And like, he's like, no, she's fine, don't worry about it. Yeah, no, you do literally anything else in this mall. That's fine. Mm-hmm.

You do you, I'll do me. So he kind of bucks off to where he is. Yeah. The guys have to go check out the power generator thing in doing so they release the other two security guards who have been locked up this whole time, which, yes. Again, I'd like more of whatever that is.

Like, how do you, do you feed them? Did they get the shower? Like, what's going on? Like, what are we at Guantanamo? Shuffing things up these dudes' asses or what? Yeah, some Abu Ghraib play. Mm-hmm. I feel like if they sort of like lasted a little longer, maybe that would have come.

You'd have to address it eventually. But I think, like, the question I have is like, how much time is this montage supposed to run from? You know what I mean? Because I'm like, is it, just kind of the next day. Was this like all shit they literally just did in that day? And then they had the dinner and then like we go

into the next day. I don't know. But yeah, this gets a little video gamey. We got to go down to the third level of the parking garage and the power station. So this CJ's been reinstated and given given an axe now. Yeah. He wants a gun and they're like, here's this axe that you can use instead.

But yeah, so they're down there. We're hearing some rustling. We think, oh, Zambi's following them. And here's this dog out of nowhere. which is pretty sweet. This delightful little dog. James Gunn, loves a dog. Loves a dog.

And that's how you know, right, that the dog's getting out of the movie. Yeah, just fine, right? So much so that he's like, yeah, no, zombies don't eat dogs. That's totally fucking fine. Why would a zombie eat a dog? Most zombies would eat a dog.

I would wager. Yeah, yeah. Right. Warm flesh with blood. It's just me. Yeah, exactly. But a cool thing here we're using, and Romero did the same thing.

Some, like, real-life amputees right here. This fucking dude that it's like he's on like monkey bars on the playground. Like he crawls on these pipes and just drops down on them. Bad ass shit right here. This is when they get the other guy. Bart. Mart. Bart who just gets fucking got. Bart?

That was a character? He's the third guy. He's like the Doey security guard. His only thing is he's bummed out that this happened because he was supposed to like bang some heavy girl. Like that is the only characterization we get about this guy. He's like, oh man, I was supposed to go to the bowling alley and bang. Bertha or whatever. And he also kind of threaten, he kind of threatens Sarah Polly with sexual violence for a second. He's like, oh, you got

a mouth on you, girl. And then he's like, somebody needs to show her out of use it. Oh, sure. Yikes. Well, which is awesome then because this dude Bart is completely ripped apart by zombies. It's the first rip apart. Which you need. You absolutely do. And for a dude like that, yeah, the rip apart is totally fine. And we're cutting back and forth between that and Mackay Fifer.

he's got his wife in a very in a weird like you know in the baby store in the mall and I get it right it's like you don't want to admit what's happening here like he's kidding himself this kind of shit but you see this woman full zombie makeup

when it cuts to her she just goes to which he goes you're doing good babies breathe he's like funny the time has come maybe thought it was just you know delivering a baby It's very stressful. You're not looking your best.

Your skin turns all gray and green and splotchy. You try to bite your husband repeatedly. Exactly. No, no, no, bite the cord. Get the placenta out. But this is very, it's a very cool, like, aliens almost. Yes. Because she passes.

And he's bummed about that, of course, doing a couple kissy-kissies. And then he just sort of, like, puts his head down. And then you see the belly bump just start moving. And you're like, I remember being in the, the theater like, oh, because it was a thing, I literally never considered it. Yes. Yeah, as a person who had seen

Zambi movies before. Exactly. I couldn't recall one that this had ever been addressed and I'm like, what is gonna happen? Yeah. And it does and it's pretty cool and like this lady Norma shows up. Yeah. This is great. Because she's like oh, you know, I just want to check on the baby

or check on your wife and like she realizes that the wife is dead and like he's holding a zombie baby. and she puts his, he's like, you want to take my family away from me? But then, a Mexican standoff with also a zombie baby. Yeah, there's like, we got some guns going, but then also just like chomping is going on the third part

of the standoff. But yeah, because she sits up right here. Oh, right, the wife. And she goes to, uh, Norma tries to fucking shoot her, or does shoot her thing. And then he's like, oh, motherfucker and blows her away. And he doesn't kill her with the first shot. So she's, because she's this brassy truck driver.

This is like one of the best characters in the movie. And she's just like, you want to fuck. shoot me, I'll fucking shoot you, mother-file. Like, she starts shooting the shit out of them. They just kill each other. It's like a Tarantino scene. And there go our characters that had any relation to anything. Yeah, it's too bad. Yeah, they're all dead.

And then, so they like, everybody runs in with like a holy shit moment. And then this is where they try to determine, like, I think they do say it right here. they're like, oh, well, Norma and André weren't bit. And they determine, at least in this world, the only way that you will come back is if you are bit. So any kind of other sort of natural death or an accidental, not zombie related situation, you will just die. Yeah, it's more like a vampire bike. Right. And this is-I'd like to see zombie Norma, though.

There's an old lady zombie. Oh, yeah. But she's still badass somehow. Brassy old bitch coming ahead. That'd be awesome, dude. I'm the badalax. And this is where, you know, Ving. Rames, it's like, oh, you know, what's

worse than death is waiting around to die. They got this idea to get out of there now. And Steve, I want to pause real, we do kill the zombie baby. We have to say, oh, that is, that is the other silence, silence, silence, Ciblamo. We see the zombie baby. It's not just implied. Do you see a little CGI mess?

Yeah, and it's disgusting. And then you cut away and you kill it, which again, like, kudos. To your point, like, I've never seen it done quite that way before. It's actually. If it was a regular baby, I'd kill it too. You don't want to bring it into this world. Yeah, I mean, bringing babies into this very world is bad enough. A zombie world, forget it. But yeah, I remember

what it is. It's actually a, it's a classy way to kill a zombie baby, right? Because see the zombie baby, and then, you know, and then it just cuts to this shot of the mall. And it's like the food corner, like, promenade area. No people are in the shot. It's just like dead mall. And then you see that con shot

go off. You're like, adios, baby. So now we've got we're down, Mackay Fiver, but now we've got a dog. So that's something. Yeah, exactly. We allow, uh, uh, Thai Borell's here briefly. He's got that, oh, I have a yacht or whatever.

This is where he sarcastically suggests like, oh, we could all get on my boat and go to those islands that are wherever the fuck. And they're like, yeah, that is a good idea, actually. Thanks a lot. Steve. I would be very hard pressed to leave this mall, to be quite honest. Yeah. If the food was running out, maybe, but like, well, we wouldn't say it did.

Maybe there's no, no more a bourbon chicken in the food court. What do you do? Yeah. Well, first I'd go. inspect anti-ans to see if those pretzels are still a lot. Definitely. You just got to put on the uniform and start making it. I think a Wendy's

patty would last through the apocalypse. Probably. Probably. Those are freestried ready to go. Exactly. That's like cockroach meat. Yeah. It'll last. But again, I'm just going to eventually kill. It's not like, oh, here comes the great traverse the sea of zombies. No, I'm dead already. Like, yeah.

We stay here for a while. We're hanging out, drinking booze, eating food. I'm going to the best by. I'm looking at all the DVDs, I'm picking the ones like movies I haven't seen. Sure. I'm going to go through, if I go through all of those and then I eat all the chicken out of the food court, then finally it's time to end myself.

Exactly. But I got things to do. And if I'm in this mall locked away, why not? Why not catch up on all those movies I haven't seen? Let's go for it. And then even you've kind of like, while you're just like hammering chicken, you're looking to share your probably like, so you're interested? That you know, okay, I want to keep eating

more chicken then. That was the one chance. It's all right. Also, You want to rewatch old school with me on DVD? Oh, yeah, I forgot that my best job. No, it wasn't being a father. He was eating chicken. I'd say father is probably number two, but yeah, I forgot. I can really put away chicken.

Oh, shit, they got red corner here. It's Richard Gere in China. It's pretty good. You don't know what you're missing. Political intrigue and chicken. Could be you. they're all like talking. Now you're known as like chicken guy.

You know what I mean? Like they're forming camps and chicken guy is not in any of them. Hey, um, you think they eat any chicken in, uh, Exotica? You want to find out? Not a bad way to spend the apocalypse. Again, until it's what I'm doing now, right? Yeah, exactly. Until it all runs out and then I'm just done.

Good night. Exactly. The river is right there. Mm-hmm. Have we seen Tyber? is like screwed that lady. That's all in the Richard cheese montage.

Fun moments we've already had. Well, you have to have nudity. I mean, you have to have it or else. What's going to be in the unrated cut? You know, on the DVD. I got no problem with the nudity. There's nudity in the credit sequence, which is wild. Yeah.

The end credits. It's like it turns to a girl. I guess like the joke is like a girl's gone wild-esque video. Here's what it is. Here's what it is. You're just, it's as if someone, it's kind of a found footage situation. Yes. Someone found the tape and they were like, let's see what's on this tape.

So part of it was, yes, they video their adventure on the island. But the start of the tape is just because we see him. In the Richard Cheese montage, he's fucking this girl. He puts the camcorder on. This dude makes home sex tapes. So the start of that tape is him just a series of women that he's sleeping with. It seems like he seems like it could be the other guy in a night in Paris. You know what I mean?

The, a night in Paris, the parisle. The porno? The parisle sex tape, whoever that. Dude was? Yes, one night in Paris. I don't know all the characters. It's the only other character. Who played the brassy old lady truck driver in One Night in Paris?

Hey, I got one night in Paris. Holy shit, the adult section. If anyone's interested. It's all just celebrity sex tapes. It's really weird. Especially now that baby's done no kids here. I can swear all I want. I can swear and talk about pornoes.

Uh-huh. She didn't have a baby, right? zombie babies for Paris? I don't believe so. She's kind of back now, right? She's right. She's an NFT person. No, that's long gone. She's actually doing something really good now,

which is she's become an advocate to help get fucking like revenge porn and AI shit, which is illegal and all that stuff. She's actually, she's turned herself around in a very admirable way. Yeah, for sure. And I mean, a lot of that was overblown. Like, you know, all that, like, she was in a, the simple life was a joke.

She does it? She has children. Oh, yeah, okay. 203. Wow, we're just under the wire. I mean, she's no spring chicken. Oh, my God. She's not exactly something I'd order at the food court. So we have this montage, right?

The whole plan is we're going to fix up these mall buses that I guess are shuttles, parking lot of shuttles or something. We're going to soup them up. Kind of like what we wind up having in Land of the Dead, that big truck. We're going to soup them up and we're going to basically just plow our way through the parking lot to the marina. We'll save Andy first. We're going to pick up Andy.

Well, having the fuck forbid. Yeah, we got to get Andy. Oh, because he's got the sign out now, like, hungry. I don't know, man. You should have thought about coming to the mall. I mean, you have the sporting good story. Can you, like, shoot an arrow with a chicken on it over? No, not my chicken.

I think there's a fucking pastrami back in there. Don't sacrifice the chicken. There's only so much chicken left. You know what's funny, though? I was realizing. I'm looking like, I'm doing a cat, like, seven days left of chicken. So I was realizing watching this, though, that of course you couldn't have it then because they were not as ubiquitous as they are now.

But if you were doing this again or you're in a Zambi situation of some kind, similar roof-to-roof kind of thing, you got a fucking drone. Oh, yeah. Commercial drones. You could put a little pick in the basket tied to one and go. I'll tell you what could last the apocalypse. If you are, you know, when society crumbles, it could be in days. We'll see.

Maybe by the time this episode's out. We'll see. Yes, we'll have to wait to see. you go you find yourself a 7-Eleven in the wasteland any tequito you find is totally fine totally good those things will last until 2050 you could launch a nuke right into a fucking box of those things they'd be fine they wouldn't even be radioactive you could safely eat them after they've been nooked there's no food in there i mean it tastes like food there's not much food in these tequitos man tequitos those 711 tequitos that 30th avenue 711 in astoria that i'm pretty sure once i was

drunkenly shirtless in. The amount of money I spent on fucking tequitos and bad pizza at that place. Yeah, it's all just ground up Chinese newspef yet again, not going to spoil necessarily. Oh wow, Xi Jinping died.

No, not yet. But, yeah, so I do like, there is a cool Michael thing where it shows him being like a little bit of like a kind of a child where he's showing Sarah Polly like, look at this. You can put

the chainsaw right through the side of the thing and I can get the zombies from outside and she's like uh-huh yes very nice. She's like oh very romantic and then he like very sensitively is like I'm trying and she's like I know I'm like who are either of you and I don't need no romance in my zombie film but if you do just do it

and develop it like it must have taken a while to rig these battle cars like they have like siding they have holes for chainsaws they have plows yeah they stick a cow catcher on one I'd say the thing you don't need to do. Because if the plan goes accordingly, this is just a one and done,

we're going to gun it to the marine and you're never to see this truck again. You didn't need to paint the cool teeth on it. Yeah. Well, that's nice. You did something to do for the afternoon. And this racing stripes pretty sharp. Well, I guess it's the thing where, yeah, we have still so many characters in this movie, somebody's got to paint the cow catcher because there's a lot of people standing

around doing absolutely nothing. So Chips the Dog is. Andy's really hungry. Yes. Andy can fucking wait. You can see, by the way, I will say this movie does look really good. Shot on film looks great. But HD transfer

of this, you can see when Andy's like hungry and he's holding up the sign, they painted lines on him to make it look like he was starved a little bit and you can totally tell like it's just makeup on this guy. Maybe he's just doing that because he heard how good the chicken was. Oh man, maybe if I lied to them and say I'm starving, I can have something besides

these Mr. Good bars I'm eating constantly. So Chips the dog runs over there with a bag of rations of sations. And he gets in. I don't know how you fuck up this dog door situation. Andy. Yeah. Like the dog runs in and at least like three, five seconds goes by. He doesn't fucking close it and the Zambis get in.

Yep. What are you doing, dude? He starts to close it, but then they just hoist it up. And then they're in there. And then it's just like, oh, man, those guys could bite up. hard, huh? Yes. Don't say that on the radio.

It's interesting, though, right? Because you realize, like, he's been alone this whole time. Clearly, they have not shared the information that they've learned about this situation. So he doesn't understand how fucked he is in this moment. Yes. Which is very sad. Like, Ving Rames is on the fucking walkie talking on. He's like, Kenneth, are you there, man?

Are you there? And he's like, uh, yeah, man. Good to hear you got the food. Better eat it quick. No reason. So he's dead. I know the sandwich sucks. I think I'd rather eat human flesh.

Is that weird, Kenneth? Come on over and save me. I used to love pastrami, but now I just kind of want human flesh. It was weird. Like when the dog came in, at first he was looking kind of good to me, but now he's not anymore. And I just keep thinking about eating human flesh instead. Brains. What?

Nothing. I'm sorry. So this girl, Nicole, chases over to find the dog. And I thought this was a-seals the fucking truck. Right. Steels Norma's truck. I thought this is your classic zombie movie freak out that ends with Nicole being torn to fucking It should.

That was the rules of these movies. It's the one person who's an idiot. Oh, she shouldn't do that. Oh, she did it. And it's like, well, leave her because she, well, I think Ty Borella is that. Like, you know, she's done for it. Yeah. Or whatever.

Yeah. But it's like, well, we need ammo anyway. So let's all go over. The Ty Borel line is great. That idiot's going after the fucking dog. Which is really good. This was kind of his modus operandi until modern family. If you remember, he's in that Incredible Hulk movie playing pretty much the same.

character. He's like, he's a petty, rich scumbag there too. He's like, oh, I'm fucking your girlfriend, Bruce Banner. What? You're the incredible Hulk. Oh, oh. He's good in both modes. Yeah, he is. He is. No, and you know, I think I said that in Letterbox when I logged rewatching this, but I watched that show for a good chunk of it. It was very funny for a really long time, but it's your classic case of like a sitcom should not last 10, 12 years, however long they went. You know, I was exhausted by that family and their cute adventures.

Yeah, I enjoyed modern family in the beginning. But he's doing like cell phone commercials or whatever. He's doing all sorts of cell phone commercials. He's in that fucking Luke Wilson thing of like, I'm just doing like kind of like C grade Super Bowl commercials. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Sucks.

Sucks for both of those actors. But yeah, so I love the reveal that Andy has turned is really cool because in this movie we are. We do the same. Ving has the same line that Ken Fore has about like maybe they come here because they remember going to the mall and whatever. So you redo things that you were familiar with in your routine. Andy's got the board and it's just showing the shooting up behind.

And he holds the sign up and then he turns around and it's just blood smattered all over and he's clearly a zombie at this point. It's a nice little turn. I do like when they get over there and Vig Rames is like, I'm sorry, brother and shoots him in the head. This is quite the kill on Andy. It's pretty great. This dude, is it a full head explosion? It's a head explosion. He's got the shock guy.

But it's like CGI head. Yes. Unfortunately, yeah, if you got Mr. Savini in here, computers need not apply. Nicole's just fine and she's like, hey, let's get out of here. I'm here with the dog safe. I do think there's too many zombies in like it just

like when there's too many to get around. Do you know what I mean? Like well yeah, the buses when they pull out are literally having trouble running over all of them. That's a bit much. It's a bit much in the zombie department. If crowd crush is stopping a huge bus from driving at them, that's a bit much. She survived by being in the closet.

That's right. Yes. We get across the other way and like Tucker CJ is now a good guy a full on good guy right yeah he does the thing which I always hate which is the so what would you're telling me we're just gonna get in these trucks go to the marina blah blah blah blah and everything's

gonna be fine that's the plan well I just wanted to check and hear it out last yep sounds good to me you can see it coming a mile away and there's another fucking turnip joke coming up at a minute from CJ but like they gotta go back through the sewer or something. And this is when Tucker gets like bitter

or something. He fucks up his leg and falls as well it is. Right. And he's pulling him like R2. He's pulled him like C3Pio kind of. You give C3PO2 handguns and you're pulling him and say shoot the stormtroopers that they come down to the sewers. Because all these zombies start falling in there and he's shooting him or whatever. But then Tucker

gets got, he gets pulled away and eaten by these fuckers. He asks him to fucking kill him, which is nice. And C.J. does put one in the head before he can turn. But this does mean the zombies are infiltrating them all now is the idea. They try to get them behind this hallway

door. It doesn't work. It's time to go. They're running through. They meet up at the rest of the non-characters that have gathered here today. Everybody's ready to go. And now the troop has been shortened enough or, you know, the herd has been thin enough. Everybody can fit in one

elevator trip now. Like they run away from the zombies and it goes in. It's the elevator music and it's, you know, it's a classic like, big crazy action seen elevator music. And what's the joke? It's like, oh, he's like, oh, I like this song. It's just that, which is supposedly

was an ad lit. Oh, that's fun. But it's a gun-esque kind of joke so I could see them being like, no, that's actually good, Michael Kelly. Yeah, for you. So we're all going to go. Chicken guy, you coming? No, I'm good. I think I got a couple more

of hen houses to work through back there. And also, season three of friends, I just found. That's not too bad. Yeah, you guys go ahead. I got the gay, The gate down at GameStop. I'll be fine. Could you leave one gun with one bullet? Just one bullet.

CJ, real quick. Where's the mall janitor to keep, like, toilet paper and stuff? It's real quick before you go. No reason. I'll be in here eating chicken playing Red Dead Redemption 1. It wasn't a 2 yet. I'm just going to play PS3 until I die. Eating chicken.

I'll probably, I mean, the chicken will probably. killed me first, honestly. It's probably not. It's getting a little gaming. That's a way. Get a little gaming. Eat yourself to death. Honestly, drink yourself to death.

Oh, dude. Where's the liquor store in this mall? You never know. Depending on the laws in Milwaukee. I mean, it's Milwaukee. There's got to be liquor stores everywhere, I would imagine. Right.

We got to soup up the bus so we can drive it to the liquor store safely. Did big beer prevent hard liquor everywhere? That's a good point. Oh, yeah. Right. That's a beer country out there. It's been a while since we've been to Milwaukee.

Yeah. And that's the only part of Wisconsin I've ever been to. I don't know. I feel it would have to be like a state situation. Yes. It was a very beautiful. It's a great town, yeah. Really cool.

I would have liked some more. But yeah, so here we go. We're heading now to these souped up buses. Dude, we're leaving the Crossroads Mall. And if Chris Cabin were here, I'd be like, hey, man, doesn't that sound like Cross Gates Mall? And he'd go, yes. And I'd say, excellent.

Moving on. Good. But yeah, they try to run through these zombies in the parking lot. Like, the bus is getting slowed down. I was like, I'm sorry. If you're going 40 miles and I don't care. how many people are standing in front of you got a big cowcatcher on this thing? Yeah, we're sawing off legs here.

Yeah, there doesn't seem to be a liquor store or a samurai sword store. But there is a nuclear-powered propane store. Like, one of these explosions? These are insane. Dude, this is a big-ass propane explosion from such a little grill tank. I can't imagine. This Molotov cocktail of a propane tank, they throw off there. Somehow there's a big bodybuilding zombie.

Dude, this Brock Lesnar-looking motherfucking zombie just catches this. thinking he's like, do I throw it back? Chris Brunet or Ben-Wan. He's a zombie now. Hell definitely doesn't have any more room left in. So he walks here. So CJ shoots it with a shotgun.

And then it makes this like, to your point, Steve, like this fucking mushroom cloud incinerating explosion that takes out most of this hoard rocks the cars, which are somehow undamaged. This first bus would explode. That's why I think if you had fewer zompe. And there's like 20 of them out there Which is a lot of zombies, oh shit.

You get a, the propane explosion is reasonable. And then, you know, you drive around it. It's cool. It's still exciting. How about this, though? You got two buses. You load up the first bus with all the characters that you don't want to make it to the end of the movie. But you do the same thing.

The propane tank explodes, but that whole bus is just gone. And you're like, oh my God, six people from our campaign were incinerated. That bald guy that wore a lady's shoe once is now dead. Because that guy, when that bus inevitably flips, that dude is just killed in the car accident. Well, that guy has a pretty great, he's pretty great. Because he, this would be, this would be me in the zombie apocalypse because it's like, oh, I could use a chainsaw. And like, no, you can't. Have you ever used a chainsaw?

Like, do you know how heavy it is? Do you know how it actually functions? Because he's like, I'm going to get the zombies at the chainsaw. And the blonde lady that Ty Borel had sex with once, it had three lines of dialogue. Yeah. It just gets annihilated by this dude's chainsaw, and it's pretty great. It is wild. Like, she's just getting cut.

You think, like, it's going to be a quick, like, ooh, the arm got sliced off. But instead of going, like, out the armpit, it goes into the chest and just starts fucking cut her in half. I was like, am I watching Terrifier? And then, like, yeah, that bus just flips over and he's just dead. He's dead inside. I'm like, come on. But Ty Borell gets out of this thing and closes the. the door on everybody.

Because he's the bastard. Because he's the coward bastard. And whoops, there's a zombie right on top of the bus. Jumps down. He's got. And there was a line earlier in the film when, like, I think Ty Borel goes to Sarah Polly's like, listen to, sweetheart. When they get me, you can shoot me right in the head.

She's like, I'm looking forward to it or something like that. And then she does it here. It pays off. It is a nice little screenwriting promise made good. And good makeup on zombie Ty Borell. It's very, very spooky, scary. It looks like Bruce Campbell. and Evil Dead too a little bit? Yes. Yeah, when he's evil ash. Yes. Yeah. Um, but, uh, yeah, he just

gets fucking killed. And I think we're gonna ring, ring, Rames line of like, damn, right here. Yeah. I also think, uh, big, big, uh, uh, wheelbarrow zombie lady is a little deadite as well. When she starts running, she very much is. Yeah, like Shemp-esque. Is she the, is she the one or is it the little girl at the beginning that does a jump up? I think it's a little girl in a hall with, To jump up, yeah. By the way, we didn't mention it, but her name is Vivian. Oh, wow. Oh, no, Vivian.

What are you doing over in the neighbors? What have you done to the neighbors, Vivian? I guess Transformers would be immune from zombies, right? Probably. Yeah, I'd say so. There's got to be one comic where there's a zombie fucking transform. Well, think about the gas crisis that would ensue, right? There's not tankers coming in anymore.

There's no one's a refining kajunka junker. Vivian, we need to open the straight. Vivian, I have some bad news. The vacation's canceled. The Strait of Hormuz has been closed. All the guests is there. You just got to go and get it. You know, there's no Decepticons anymore.

Come on, Transformers. Go in and get the oil for us. He's about to fucking truth social then. That's where we're at. I just got off the phone with Optimus Prime. He's getting a lot of the Autobots together. We are reaching across the aisle through the Decepticons. They'll both be involved.

It'll be fantastic. That's just in. Court rules that the Transformers must help. They don't exist. We're drafting all the Transformers ages 18 to 42. Even the ones that can't talk, bumblebee, you're there too. Yeah, I don't care if you're nonverbal. Get over there.

Do the Transformers need gasoline, though? They got that AllSpark. I think that's the AllSpark who gets around the gas. Oh, no, I have to stop the adventure for a moment while I fill her up. I need diesel only. I would like to see them fill up. I think that should be a thing. That's them eating.

They all gather around to mobile station. All right, now, everybody, don't suck it up at once now. There's enough to go around. All right, let's say a prayer to car Jesus. Bless us, O Ford, and these I give. Yes. That's very good. So, yeah, Ty Borel is dead.

We're blasting some Zambis here. But basically... We make it to the boat. We made the boat. Ving blast through that marina gate, which is pretty cool. That car fucked, the last car fucks up. I think CJ is trapped inside. Sacrifices himself by shooting this propane tank as he's getting gotten. And it's kind of nice because that winds up creating this like fire barrier between the zombies and the dock that they're on. In some of the scuffle, you do see Michael get involved with one zombie real quick.

Oh, what happened there? Oh, wow. He's doing something is nice to see. But then he's on the dock being like, you guys go along and stand. I will wait here. I think I'll just stay here and enjoy the sunrise. And by the way, everyone, especially you, Anna, you want to look away from the dock here because it's going to get pretty messy in about two minutes.

Yeah, or turn that camera around. You don't want to film what's about to happen. And it is going to be okay if you go on the boat. Oh, man. And they set off and this dude blows his brains out. And it's literally blackout. Yeah, it's a great, like, It's just the boat and then a blammo into the blackout.

And then Jim Carroll band comes on. People who've died. Good song? Great fucking tune to take us right into credits. Basketball Diaries also in the great tough turf. Tough turf. Oh, okay. Nice. But it's, again, like Snyder knows his music stuff.

That's what he does well. Absolutely. But yeah, so this is all through the credits. We get the contents of this video camera. Which is fun. We get to see Ty Borell doing more shenanigans. He's got some sexy time. Some more breasts needed for the unrated cut.

You need an unrated cut on the DVD or else the DVD will not sell. Exactly. Because somebody's like, oh, I liked, you know, I liked Dead Man Walking. It was only rated R, but I guess there's full on penetration in Dead Man Walking, the unrated cut. That's what I assume is how that works. I mean, it was a really smart marketing ploy for home video, and I fucking fell for it every time because it was like, yeah. Even if it's just the littlest bit more. Just like a nipple here, an extra kill there.

The one they didn't want you to see. Exactly. Give it a me. I'll fucking watch it. Or even, too hot for TV. Remember too hot for TV? Remember as seen on TV? Speaking of the malls, they would have that garbage everywhere. They would have those sometimes in like sections of like a CVS or a Walgreen.

Right. Yes. The fucking TV section. Which I always thought was weird. I was like, did they have to call? the TV hotlines and get a bunch of those things shipped to the TV. I think they've got a deal with the distributor off the TV. That will take out 2000. Yeah, okay, that is cash on delivery, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's fine. But yeah, I love when they make it to this other boat. They're like, hey, anybody on this other boat? They open this cooler and there's just a zombie head inside. That's fun. You know that was like some sick fuckers, though. Like, look, I can cut it off and still alive. We'll put it on ice.

Well, maybe because it was a loved one. or something. Oh, that could be. Or we're going to freeze the head, like the Walt Disney room. Yes. Walt Disney zombie would be something. We see the gas is going low on the boat. When hell is full, animators shall walk the earth. We get to the island, right? This island. Chips the dog runs off again. Exactly. And we know that he's going to be fine because zombies don't care. But, uh-oh, zombies fucking race out of the woods. It's zombie island. Uh-oh. And then down with the sickness. We are, you better get down with that sickness.

So everyone dies. Presumably, you don't know. Presumably. It's shocking they did not do a sequel to this. This is a huge, kind of a big hit, right? Like, I think it made, the opening. It made like 28 million or something? Yeah, but the budget was like 25.

Yeah. So you imagine it did pretty well for the full domestic run. I guess the idea with it why they might not have made the sequel, although I think they probably should have. I would have even watched it, honestly. For sure. I would have been raped and Sarah Polly. They're the ones that survived.

and like whatever else happens happens. It is a bummer that it's not, because I remember when it came out and I was like, oh, because they made, in 2008, there was a direct to DVD Day of the Dead remake. And the fucking kick in the dick is Ving Rames is in it.

Really? But he's playing a different character. This might have been a rights issue that we ran into here. I mean, because it's crazy that there are, there's a sequel to Rebel Moon. But there's not a sequel to Dawn of the Ten?

It's, yeah, so 2008, and it's directed by fucking Steve Minor of Warlock and Friday of the 13th, Part 2, and, uh, wow, that's shocking. First House movie. Have you seen this? No. I never, I never, you know what it was? I should see this. Back in the day, if it's directed DVD, it's probably not very good. But I had to... We said that and then we watched White Noise 2, which is fucking excellent.

Fucking excellent now! Wow! That just took a few weeks for that to blossom. It might be a little better than this. But to that point about White Noise, too, I think if we did a directed DVD Sequels Month thing, this could be included. For sure. But yeah, and oh, actually, oh shit, did I just pass my... Hang on a second. Hang on a second.

Also, by the way, Minusuvari and Nick Cannon are also in it. But if I'm looking here, yes, Ian McNeese, the fat guy from White Noise and Ace Ventura 2 is also with this movie. All right. All right. World's colliding. Would people like us to do a direct to DVD month? I saw some people talking on Patreon, so that they would like it.

I think if we do that at the start of every episode, set us to be. This is DVD. It absolutely has to be in. I like that a lot. But yeah, so it's not related, but they did make that. And then I think that got another direct-to-d-D-C. We should also say Zach Snyder did revisit zombies in Army of the Dead, which is pretty okay. Pretty okay. On par with this?

I think it's better than this, actually. It's got some ups and down. I didn't see that. It's got Batista who's great in it. Dave Batista's good. Tignataro is also really good in it. It's like too long. I thought it was supposed to be

Chris DeLeia. The joke is she replaced him in the movie. You guys saw the movie and I know more about the movie. I don't remember the fucking 8-It Cool News headline from nine years ago, pal. You better start reading. But you are right.

Yes, she replaced Chris Deulia. And she's fucking great. She was also great on Star Trek, Starfleet Academy. It's one of the better ladder Snyder's For sure. It's still not good, good. Like, it's a little too long and there's a little too much lore in it. Well, that's the thing that I was just going to say. It's kind of funny that we were talking about how, like, this movie.

Lore? Data's brother? No, come on now. Nobody thought it was Data's brother. But where this movie is clearly indebted to 28 days later. What's funny is Land or what the Fy? Army of the Dead. Which came out before 28 years. Yeah.

does kind of set up a pseudo alpha kind of thing because remember there's like the king of the zombies and he's got a lady zombie and he's got a cape and the king zombie was where you lost me

in that movie precisely but the rest of it's kind of it's like a zombie heist movie it's a good idea and it's done pretty well didn't they do the sequel with that German guy

I believe so and I think that was also a straight to Netflix thing but yeah they're doing a heist kind of thing there's stuff to like about it for sure yeah but that is the end of this

we can go around the horn here for some final thoughts such as they are, Mr. Siska? Yeah, it's fine. My memory, I thought this was better than it is. I think that was just because I saw it in 2004, I never saw it again. And it's serviceable.

I wish there was more here in terms of character development or social commentary of any kind. But I do like the pacing and it moves at a clip. So it's a light recommend, I guess. Yeah, totally. Steve. Yeah, like if you're remaking like Friday of the 13th, you don't need to have social commentary

because those movies didn't have it and it was just fucking about teen tits and slits and throats. Like if you do that, then you've done the movie. If you're calling it Dawn of the Dead, you kind of need some of that stuff here. And it's ripe for it too. Like all of the stuff still kind of scans.

It's worse than I remember, but still pretty okay. It would be a light non-recond for me because it was actually a bit of a slug for me to get through last night. Although, you know, It's one of my favorite Snyder movies because I don't really like his stuff. I would say Watchman would be my favorite.

That's not even a great movie, but it's pretty good. Yeah, I got to go back to that because that's the one. I've literally seen that movie in its entirety once when we all went to see it in the theater in 05 or whatever that was. Yeah, I'd say this is kind of like a, it's a soft recommend for me. Yeah, I got it. I didn't feel the pacing as much of a problem, but it's a bummer that there's like nothing here. It is like junk food zombie movie versus like thoughtful genre critique. stuff, but it's totally fine.

Like that's, you know, junk food has its place as well. And it really did, you know, for better or worse, like super launch us into the zombie stuff that 28 days sort of kicked off a few years prior. And Sean right after this kind of just cemented. We're off to the race. Exactly. Oh, Chris, what did you think? All right.

We're going to draw straws more off the air to see who has to shoot him in the head. Who me? Me, me. Oh, all right. I didn't know we were all going to raise our hand at once like that. All right. Well, I get to watch. But that is going to do it for this episode on Zach Snyder's Dawn of the Dead.

If you want more, We Hate Movies, including episodes like this that have zero commercials attached to them, head over to that Patreon, patreon.com slash We Hate Movies, where as I mentioned at the start of the program, we did kick off remake roll last Thursday with an episode on Marty Scorsese's The Departed for We Love Movies. That was a lot of fun. If Chris was not in the bathroom changed to the toilet, I would have him tell you that two days from now, if you're listening to this on the day it comes out, which is, April the 7th. On April the 9th,

the next once in a lifetime is coming out. And at the moment of recording this, we have not recorded it yet, but I think, am I the only one that's watched it so far? Yeah, I've not seen. This is the Rob Lowe starring and directed. Whoa.

Remake of the Bad Seed with what's her face from regitting you. McKenna Grace. McKenna Grace as the titular bad seed. Folks, let me tell you, I was howling. Oh, wow. Okay.

Dude, it is, we haven't recorded it yet, but I'm telling you, fellas, right now in the room, we're going to have a ball talking about this. It is so unintentionally fucking hilarious. Unfortunately, unlike some lifetime stuff, we'll say it here so people can prepare. It's not on Amazon to rent, which it usually is. We found a copy on YouTube. They're out there. You can get it. Just go to YouTube and search.

The Bad Seed, 2018. My Lord, is it fucking hysterical. I'm fucking stoked. next week we will also be dropping Melroo 210 which we are back to 190210 and one Melrose place. Yes, if you're a Jenny calendar fan,

she's going to be, it's the girl from New York is the 902 and O episode. So it's all about this girl from New York comes to Beverly Hills. Which we met her at the start. She comes to the beach house. The father owns the house that Stephen Brandon are staying at.

And Lord knows what's going on in Melrose place. We're probably stealing babies or just... There might be a zombie outbreak on Melrose's place. Probably, yeah. Oh, totally. Yeah, and those people still wouldn't move if that happened there. But that's going on. Brave.

Oh, no, Billy's a zombie, is he? This is his normal self. How could you tell? Oh, Allison's a zombie, too. No, she just fell off the wagon again. Oh, no. Oh, man. But this month's animation damnation is a fun one.

Speaking of remake, Steve? Yes, we're doing a, the, we talked about a little bit, the Duck Tales reboot from like 2017-ish, Around there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we do one of these before? No, we never have. We've done all manner of the OG doctails. So this is the one with David Tennant and all sorts of comedians are around Bobby Boynahan. It's in there. It is a stacked fucking voice cast. I watched a chunk of it. It is gone on. There's a ton of episodes now. I totally fell off on it. I think it's a really funny show. I like the animation quite a bit. David Tennant as Uncle Scrooge is just fucking brilliant. It's really great. So the, the episode. that we're doing is them kind of meeting chuds if I remembered it right.

Hopefully I picked a good one. Eric, who's rocking the Gleep Glossary? The Gleap Glossary this month. We are going to be talking about, speaking of remakes, Darth Sidious, which is a remake of Emperor Palpatine. And I saw people online being like,

how could they do? It's like Jerry Seinfeld's here. How could they do Darth Sidious if they've done Emperor Palpatian? Because, listen, in 2002, you're going to think I'm crazy. Uh-huh. They didn't want you to know that those were two.

They didn't want you to know they were the same characters. It's crazy. So there's an entire entry I have in the new essential guide to characters where Darth Sidious is not Palpatine directly. That rocks. I cannot wait. Yeah. So, I mean, we'll dig into that.

Speaking to early aughts media, that'll be a lot of fun for folks in the Gleap. At the back half of the month, we will of course have the Nexus. That is also back to regularly scheduled programming. We got a toaster's and a TNG. The TNG is Ensign Row. great fucking episode. The great Michelle Forbes. Michelle Forbes fucking rocks as this character. Really excited for that.

And then of course on the 29th of this month, don't forget, at the top tier of our Patreon, the Craven tier, we'll be releasing the next Scarity Cats edition, which we just laid down. You voted on it, y'all. It's the Pope's Exorcist. We had a ton of fun talking about that movie. So look out for that. End of the month. Now, remake rule is just getting started, folks.

Next Tuesday, Steve, what god-awful abomination that I just watched this afternoon, will we be talking about? More animal noises because it's the island of Dr. Moreau. Holy God God, all my. The 90s version with Al-Tilmer. Marlon Brando and David Thuleus

Faruza Balch. It is dog shit. And obviously it was a troubled production, dog, cat, leopard shit. Let's find something nice to say. Well, we will next week when we talk about it maybe. But for now, man, that is a trash movie. Never saw it. We'll get into it. We'll get into the fucking fucking D-OA production history

of Richard Stanley, the first director who was fired after a week. All that and more next week when we go to the island of Dr. Moreau. But until then, I've been Andrew Jupon. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Let's get it easy.

Take it easy. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes. That is better. Time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara.

It's using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative. An excellent day for an exitism.