We Hate Movies - S16 Ep864: Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

“This movie has seen Scream… and Scream 2” - AndrewOn this week’s episode, we’re chatting about the fun-enough satirical slasher sequel, Urban Legends: Final Cut! Why didn’t they think to have any classroom scenes in this film school-set movie? How hilarious is the kidney-bathtub sequence that’s completely on an island from the rest of the film? What kind of funding does this film school have, what with all these soundstages? Why exactly does Hart Bochner’s character think this scheme will lead to his Hollywood breakthrough? And what would an Urban Legend sequel look like if Alfred Hitchcock was directing? PLUS: An out-of-touch studio executive hammers John Ottman with unhelpful notes!Urban Legends: Final Cut stars Jennifer Morrison, Matthew Davis, Hart Bochner, Joey Lawrence, Anson Mount, Eva Mendes, Jessica Cauffiel, Anthony Anderson, Michael Bacall, Marco Hotschneider, Derek Aslant, Jacinda Barrett, and Loretta Devine as Officer Reese; directed by John Ottman.This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey folks, before we get going on today's episode with Urban Legends Final Cut, wanted to give you a couple of show updates, a couple of show reminders here in case it slipped your mind. There's a lot going on. I understand it. First of all, if you are listening to this on the day it comes out, which is Tuesday, the 19th of May, be sure to tune in tonight, 8 p.m. Eastern live streaming on our Patreon. It's the May edition of W.H.M. After Dark. Yes, that's right. It is our AMA-style chat show where subscribers on the top of Top Craventier can log in. Ask us anything.

We're chatting in a live stream setup. There is a live chat going on. You can ask questions in advance right now. Over on the Patreon, you find the post. Go to the comment thread. Ask your question there. We are going to be vibing and in-bibing tonight, May the 19th, 8 p.m. Eastern.

You can get the replay after the fact. You also, if you can't make it, don't worry about it. Speaking of replay is at that Craventier, at the top tier of our Patreon over on patreon. dot com slash we eight movies. Yes, you can also get access to our new contemporary horror recap show. It's called Scarity Cats. There are three volumes out now. So when you sign up, you can check out replays on Barbarian, the Zach Craigar film, 28 years later, the Danny Boyle film. And yes, Russell Crow in the Pope's Exorcist, which was volume three. Volume four is coming out in July. So you want to make sure you're caught up Patreon.com slash we ate movies for all that good stuff. And hey,

also come play in the big sandbox known as Las Vegas with us this summer, y'all. That's right. In August, we are going to be heading out there as part of STLV. If you don't know what that is, it is indeed the largest and most awesome Star Trek convention in the world. It happens in Vegas every year. We are going to be there for a three-night stand of doing the Nexus live. So we're going to be there on Thursday, August 6th, Friday, August 7th, and Saturday, August 8th. In order, we're talking Star Trek 2, The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek Generations, and Star Trek First Contact. Three of our favorite Trek films, we're so stoked to talk about them doing these live Nexus episodes.

And it's happening at the DeForest Kelly Theater in the Rio out there in Vegas. And the cool thing is, y'all, big important detail, even though this convention's going on, there's a lot of stuff, a lot of packages you can get and whatnot. You don't even have to be a convention attendee to see our shows. That's right. So if you have your convention pass, you can still get a ticket and come. but if you're not attending the convention, you just want to come see us to do the Nexus, baby.

That's cool too. Head to our website, WHMpodcast.com. There's pop-ups, there's links, there's the tour page itself, plenty of places to get pointed to the right information for us at STLV. Listen, 60 years of Star Trek, 10 years of the Nexus being celebrated at STLV this August.

Again, WHM Podcast.com for more information. Okay, I have rambled enough. Let's talk about this silly self-aware slasher. It's Urban Ledger. Colin, final cut. The line must be drawn here. This week on the program, you think we'll ever be up for a Hitchcock Award? I'd like to find out someday.

But until then, this is Urban Legends colon, final cut. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Siddak. Eric Siska, Final Cut. Chris Cabin, Director's Cut. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween.

I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes. I'm to keep your appointment with the Wickhamham. They're coming to get you, Barbara. It's you've seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos.

More creative. An excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program, as always. That's right. It might be May, but we're getting a little spooky scary. We're talking to Urban Legends Final Cut from 2000,

directed by John Ottman. which is a weird thing to say since he's a composer and editor mostly. But I can tell. He cut, I don't know about all, but like most of Brian Singer's movies. So he's got a little evil on him. Not the whole thing, just a little bit. He got the hilarious Oscar for editing for Bohemian Rhapsody, which everybody's like that. Really?

Yeah, it's a horribly edited movie. Yeah. And hilariously, speaking about this dude, like working with people and projects and whatever, he fucking edited that Michael Jackson movie that's out now. Oh no. Oh, he cut out all the allegations. He was the one that decided it ends in the 80s. Well, if we're doing

a biopic, we got to get Otman. We got to get Otman in there to make it look like absolute garbage. What's wild is he's also a composer, like I said, he's composed things like nice guys, kiss kiss, bang, bang, orphan, all the singer stuff, that first fantastic four movie, House of Wax, Halloween H-Drow.

And yes, he scored his own film here today. And he edited it. Well, the score actually is pretty good of this. It's not bad. It's better than it could be for Urban Legends colon final cut. Yeah, and then the directorial side of this guy, he did a short in 1988, then this movie in the year 2000,

and then an episode of Star Trek Discovery a few years ago. So he did not win the Hitchcock Award? I don't think he won the Hitchcock Award. Oh, that's bummer, man. That'll take your career not winning that one. It'll tank it. You know what? You should have just focused on the scene with the lady getting her head cut off. If you would just

made that into a short and made that the thing. That's the movie. Maybe you'd be fine. Maybe you get that Hitchcock Award then. Yeah, man. I heard it changes. Dude, fucking take a drink any, anytime someone is saying Hitchcock award in this movie. It is a lot. It's crazy. It's crazy to put in the Hitchcock Award this much. Like, for a second, I was like, that's not a, no, that's not real. For a second, I was like, is that a school award type of thing? I don't know. Let's talk about the Hitchcock Award for a moment. Yes. It is an award you went in college, which,

in case you're wondering is meaningless. Absolutely. But the winner gets like some sort of study with like $15,000 or something. It was a small amount of money, decent amount of money. It's $5,000. Five grand, five, ten, whatever it is. And then like, then all the doors at Hollywood open up through. Yes, three picture deal instantly.

That notion that you were just right into Hollywood because this is, as I think Hart Bacher or that old guy says when they're doing the like welcome back from like winter break speech or whatever spring semester is starting he's like and may I remind you this is the best film school in the world. Is it? Is it actually? No. No this is bad movie school. They're all just making bad

movies. It's all bad movies. It's all snakes on a plane type movies that seem to be being made. The thing is if that is true, if this award gets you, opens up all the doors then it would be more A, the fucking you have a list what like fucking

nonstop people trying to get into this fucking program. It would be fucking bricked. You could not get in. But like that's

not what they show me. Well, well, we find out that one girl is actually from Hollywood royalty after all.

So maybe. Sure. Secret Hollywood. That's what I love though. They're like, oh yeah, you're a fucking

Hollywood Nepo baby. Your father a documentary. Yeah, okay. I forgot my notes at home. But I wrote

down all the fake director's names. Like, oh, previous directors. So, Wakefield. Yes.

like John Wickfield and Ted Darrington, like all these fake names. I'm like, I love a Darrington picture. Have the nuts to be like, you know, I don't even know. Like, Quentin Darrington would be too obvious. But like, you would have. Brian Singer, like, dude, your buddy who's still true. Pre-canceled Brian Singer, you know.

The problem is you have to then set it somewhere. Yeah. Because this is a never, this is a nether space. It is. And you know, it looks like it's the East Coast or something. Well, with the weather. Yeah. Something like, yeah. I didn't look up in the filming locations, but this is not. It's not so Cal. It's Canada.

When you... Oh, okay. Yeah, of course. Got it. Early... Phone down. I put it right down. Of course it's Canada.

Of course. Of course it is. When you're in this school, it is very much like playing an early N64 game. Like, when you get towards the edge of the campus, like there's just nothing there. It stops. Yeah. You're like, well, I can see there's like a forest over there, but there's some sort of invisible wall. Yes, because there's nothing else in this world.

I do not appreciate. The first Urban Legends was not good enough for you to be playful with your credits, too. the U, the U, B, the L. And I'm like, shut the fuck up and tell me the name of your movie. It starts out appropriately following Steve's legislation. It's just UL2. And I was like, hell yeah. And then it starts morphing urban legends viral caught on the bottom.

The two turns into an S, which is unfortunate. Because the first movie is Urban Legend, correct? Or is it Urban Legends? I don't know, actually. That's funny. I think it might be legends. I think it just might. I think it's, I don't know.

See, because it could have, if it was just urban legend, then it should have been urban legend. It is. It's just urban legend. Okay. So yeah, this should have just been urban legends. There you go. And leave it at that. It's my alien dollar sign.

It's me biopic. Cal Eben. Urban legend. Dude, he is a fucking urban legend, man. I'll tell you, he's one of my favorites, dude. Love that fucking guy. So we start out a dark and storming night on a plane, and we're kind of doing a little riff on the Twilight

Zone epi there? We saw a final destination, did you? Oh, yes. Big time. Yeah, absolutely. Was that also 2000? That was around then. Because this is a movie that's a meta-slashers sequel about making a movie, which the meta-slashers sequel about making a movie that also came out this year that had a bigger budget and did better at the box office was Scream 3. Oh, sure.

So I don't know where that other one falls. It was 2000 as well, Final Destination. 2000. Good year for this big box horror stuff. Just parallel thinking, you know. Maybe there was something in the air. around the early aughts with airplanes. Sure.

Well, the T.W. That manifested a year after this. By the way, something was in the air with air. Oh, yeah, I guess. Well, all flights were grounded afterwards. There was that TWA flight that went down like the late 90s. Flight 800.

Yeah, it sounds like 98 or something like that. Yeah, so that's sort of around here. Right. It is also weird. Oh, and what's his name, right? The Kennedy boy. Oh, yeah. The Jr. was sort of around here.

The poor Kennedy boy. Oh, the poor Kennedy boy. I sure hope Ryan Murphy doesn't Salatius my death. Oh, man. Yeah, I didn't care to watch any of that. That's like them like fucking or something? Yeah, it's an American fuck story is what it's called.

Honestly, that would be better. If you did that, I would be much more appreciative. Is it right? No, there is an American fuck story every year they do a different great fuck of America? Oh, that's a great idea. Oh, man. He should do Angeline Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton next. Yes. That should be number of one with a bullet. It ends with them getting the blood vials

or whatever. Oh, right. The blood vials. You think she was trying to secretly clone Billy Bob? Oh, yeah, yeah, we'll trade blood, Billy Bob. Yeah, yeah. Now, yeah, we fucked in the car on the way here. It was great.

It's fantastic. Isn't she something, folks? She's a batter. Somehow, Billy Bob Thornton returned. And Landman. I do. You could smell the fake movie coming a mile away. I never saw this movie before.

Me neither. But I knew this is, I had to be a fake out. Because it's so stupid. It is so stupid. Just the wildness that they're acting on this plane, you'd be like, you wouldn't be allowed to do this. But it is a big spring break plane. And there's like this girl who's terrified of fly. It is a girl, right?

Because the nerd guy. Yeah. Who's dressed like he's going to a fucking ska show with this tropical t-shirt he's got on here. And he's doing the whole like, he's basically like saying the terror or nightmare at 30,000 feet plot line as if it's like a real thing. Yeah. Have you ever heard Hep, cat. But he's like, yeah, there was, someone saw a thing on the wing one time and the plane went

down and it goes into that like planes crash all the time. And I would cover it up or whatever and bribe the witnesses or something. What are you. This is when you're like, oh, this was a script written by a fucking 19 year old kid. Yeah, and a student film script. Well, especially pre-2001, you could say that. I remember flying back from Toronto once. There was, it was just me by myself and I was sitting next to a woman I never, never, never

before and like the guy behind him had a cute kid the cute kid they're we're landing and the cute kid's like dad it's the plane okay and he's like nope we're gonna crash uh oh here we go we're what he was and this girl this woman who's like 40 it was white knuckle in her fucking handrest next to me holy shit because she was afraid she was afraid he was trying to scare the child he's like no we're not yep that's it though you're gonna crash uh oh uh oh you're ready to go to heaven? You're ready to go? I like this father. Finally, I know what I like. This is why

I told you to kiss your mother goodbye before we left. Uh-oh. No more mommy for you. Father of the year, what an asshole. She just looked at me like, stop this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Yeah. I'd feel bad because I'd be laughing.

I'd be like, you've got him. Got him. But it's weird because this woman who seems, if there was a movie, if this was a movie, the first woman he's talking to, Seems like the final girl or the one that we're going to follow. But then our slutty friend shows up, but it's a totally different situation. Right.

We just leave her behind. And now we're following the kissing couple into the Mile High Club in the bathroom. Dude, this airplane bathroom, which I get it. It's the set of a student film or whatever. But like, yeah, this dude's going downtown while she sits up on the sink and her legs are up with you. I do not think that's happening in an airplane bathroom. I also love they pass the first class and they pass Linda McMahon. who's like, what are you doing?

She does look like a little dific man. Oh, yeah, she's disgusting because she knows. Uh-huh. And then because the girl is to be like, oh, he's got a tummy flu. The only cure is dick sucking. Bye. All right. Next time I have a stomachache.

I know what to say. I need my medicine. We do see the killer in the movie walks by with a knife. It turns out to be this flight attendant who's killing all the people on the plane. He's killed the pilot on the plane. At this point, like when we meet in seconds from now, the Anson Mount character, who was like the shithead film school director guy, it's like, regardless of the quality of your actress in this movie, dude, you got a big problem with how she screams and whatever.

This shit sucks. Yeah. It fucking sucks. This movie sucks. What are you talking about, Anson Mount? A party plane? I'm not even sure. I think he's basically doing part.

His party, a terror train. Yeah, party plane. That's essentially what it is. And like, yeah, I wouldn't, I'm sorry. Like, I think she's in a lot of stuff and I think she's good. as a comedic actress, I would not be able to believe any movie with that, this actress,

from Legally Blonde is all I know her from. She was in a bunch of stuff around this time. I think she did some big commercials too. Yes, like that's the thing. Is it just, yeah, something like that. She's good at the comedy stuff,

but like, and even if it was a horror movie, be like, no, I'm not, no, this is not happening. Whatever,

you could give me almost any other actress. I'd be like, maybe, but her, no, no, you don't believe her as a lead in a scene. Even a horror, like,

I get it as like a comedy sidekick that makes sense. but the minute I see her, I'm like, oh, this is fake. Jessica Caulfiel. Caulfield, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, I will say,

kudos on Anson Mount Student Director. A lot of cunnelingus in this sequence. Like, we do the quick, like, he's going downtown. There's like a funny joke. We cut back and he's still going. He's still down there. And then we even have the joke of all of a sudden written in lipstick or blood on the mirror,

which they didn't notice going into the bathroom, which is very funny. You're going down. is just written there and he's like, yeah, I know. I always thought a student film is being like maybe personal to the kid or like a dramatic type of thing, but this is pure genre of film again, pornography, I guess.

A little bit. And pornography. So you can get into either spheres of film. You're not seeing much. I mean, I think the close stay on for most of the conalinguists. Am I incorrect on that? Yeah, I think that's kind of, it's kind of funny though because I couldn't help but think about like our days

at purchase and our interaction with the kids who were in the film conservatory. the kids who were most like these characters making movies and stuff. Imagine like filming a pussy eating scene and showing it to your professor. No, I know, but that's what I'm saying. It's like also on top of like all of that, right? There was also like, there were never like these genre

films being made. You're right. They were always these more like personal things, these like small dramas. This is like, there's a big fucking plain fuselage that we can shake. So the university just has like a fake plane that you can utilize for your student films? Look, we're told it's the

best film school in the world. That's true. They got a fake plane. They got a fat guy to make it look like the plane is crashing. That comes with. They really, no, they give them a lot. They even later on have like a spaceship set. There is a, which is very funny at the end of the movie when there's like a big bucket of fake guns that this film school just has on the end. Which is a very photo realistic fake guns, terrible idea in college.

I mean, part of the thing about making your own movie for the first time is you source those props. I mean, that's what's impressive about it as well is you're actually figuring out how to do this from almost nothing. Almost nothing. These kids are being given everything. And maybe, you know, in larger film programs, bigger than the one that we were around in our college days, like, maybe you do have this stuff.

But, I mean, it just seems like this is a fantastical movie machination here. We never get the film school joke of like, because that's what film, student films are ordinarily, like, very personal. And also, like, bad as well. Bad pretentious, you know what I mean? Your class. A different kind of bad than the ones they're making here. Someone is in a robe playing like, you know what I mean?

Like a fucking justice that's blind or whatever. That kind of bullshit is often, even in the parody version of student film. And that's not here. Everyone is just trying to make this big budget blockbuster. Everyone's making blockbusters. And then the one that's like considered, the one that like gets graded and it's like the fake movie and the kid gets the sea on it. And you see a little bit of that movie. I was like, oh, that's a student film.

Yes, exactly. That's what student films look like. The one that got to see because it's terrible because it's a student film. That's what they look like. It looks like the one from private parts that Howard Stern makes. Yes, exactly. That's what I'm looking for. Is that that level of pretension?

So we're screaming May Day. The pilots are all murdered or everything. We got a cut, cut, cut. Of course we're making a fake movie. Yes, the great Anson Mount as this director, this fucking moppy haircut he's got here. It's very uncapted Pike. I've never seen early Mount.

It's weird, right? Yeah. Well, his voice is significantly higher, too, because he's just got this usually gravely old man voice now. Well, it's just like us, you know? Like now, if you go back and listen to some of our first episodes, we sound like a young ants and months. I sound like a whole world. I looked like a young ants and mat. Don't look it up, but I did. Yeah. We all did. Don't look it up. Just four ants and mounts doing a movie podcast. With washboard abs. Yeah, he is Toby, the director here. And the guy playing the flight attendant killer, I guess, is like, and this happens in student. films. Like you you find like the one outside like real actor to come in and give it a little gravitats. This dude's like that woman's acting would be bad in a

porn film. Well because he's like I know she's no Jamie Lee Curtis and already my scream senses are fucking tingling. This movie has seen scream and scream too. Yeah. I think it even got an early script to scream through. It's like, ooh, that sounds fine. Look, making a movie sounds good.

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Yeah, so we get the Jennifer Morrison comes in and she winds up being the actual protagonist of the movie as Amy Mayfield. She's doing some just a sound tech stuff here. But you just basically get the idea that Toby is a fucking total, like big asshole direct. He saw a bunch of like behind the scenes.

like vignettes of William Friedkannon was like, that's how you treat people on a film set, let's go. But the original sin of this movie is, because you also, you see Evan Mendez, you see Anthony Anderson and the other guy, and you see like these characters, Joey Lawrence is around

this movie a lot. Oh, I'm sorry. Joseph Lawrence. Oh, really? Oh, he's Joseph Lawrence. Table for two for Joey, no, it's Joseph Lawrence. Whoa, it's Joseph. Look at the new haircut. But it's... Whoa, what are you doing?

Whoa, how dare you? I do... But, like, they don't introduce the characters. Like, it takes forever to even know who half of these people are, how they know each other, do they like each other? Are they friends? Who's a roommate? Like, this is stuff that scream and most horror movies know how to do.

If you're going to have your cast of Dead meets, it's like, oh, Brian, he's the funny one. He's, you know, this one's doing that. And, like, you kind of get it, but it takes forever. I was confusing Toby and Travis at the start of it. They're also directing the exact same kind of movie or whatever. And they both just look like dudes that would model Wrangler jeans in a J.C. Penny commercial. The same kind of character except for one of them is supposed to be brilliant and the other one is not.

Right. I'm just kind of like, okay, I don't give a fuck. Because Scream, you got your opening salvo with Drew Barrymore and then you meet all the kids. And it does, I think Scream is kind of the best example of it. Like the better of these movies are the ones where you know and can distinguish the characters. and their actual people before they're getting their head caught in a garage door over.

Exactly. And that is low, that is so low-balling it to be like, I would like there to be characters in my movie. Like, yes, I said I would. That should be a base amount. But even in like, you know, really just their fucking total dead meat movies,

like the Friday of their teeth movies. Even in those, there's like, there's the funny guy, there's the guy that's addicted to silent pornography. We're all in the car. We know who everybody is by the end of the car ride. You know what I mean? need a car ride intro kind of thing. And it's not hard to do. I mean, I don't think we even see them in class.

No, that's, why would you not have a class scene? With the class and then have the assignment go out and then we get everyone's perspective on it and find out about them. The movie that makes fun of all this shit, Cabin in the Woods, does this better. Yes. Then most of these fucking things do. But yes, we return for the spring semester. We're in this big auditorium getting the intro here from some, this is some old fucker who's like, And yes, this is the greatest film school in the world.

And now I'll introduce Hart Bockner here as the dean or whatever the fuck. Professor Solomon. Oh, yeah, dude. And he comes in and he's like, now remember everybody, the Hitchcock Award is coming up. Yeah, 15K and a ticket right to Hollywood. A one-way ticket to Hollywood. And I think it's, there's like a little asterisk on the flyer, like the course sign up or the major sign up. And it's like, yeah, yeah, one-way ticket to Hollywood.

would, we will buy you a plane ticket and that's it. Because even do the thing, like, it would be a total lie and everyone rolled their eyes, but like, you know, Spielberg won the Hitchcock Award in 71. Right. And then he did duel and that was, and that it led to Jaws. Like, that's, it's lying, but it's fun. You need one of those to, like, ground it as like, it's a possible thing. But not Spielberg, right?

Because didn't he not go to film school or dropped out or something? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, yeah, so this, the problem is we meet all of the possible killers and dead meets in this. scene where someone else is talking so they're all kind of like whispering in the auditorium because yeah this is Anthony Anderson, you had Joseph Lawrence

Eva Mendez, nerd guy whose name I have later nerd guy's kind of like a successful screenwriter these days. Minnie Grant Hesslov. Yeah, he does look like Grant Heslaw. It was a little confusing to me. I was trying to Evan Mendes like all said and done you see a lot of her in this movie.

You do. Is the big is the biggest star of this movie. Like the person who went done to be the biggest star that was in this. Yeah. Because like, Edson Monson's also TV. TV. Yeah.

Evan Mendes had like... Anthony Anderson's a big actor. Movies and TV. Yeah, but M. Mendes had her name on movie posters. I would say... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Kangaroo Jack. Well, that means she... Ever Mendes owned the night, dude. She hasn't done a lot lately, right? No, I think she retired. I think Ryan Gosling's been starring in her lately. I think that's been happening. Markey.

Name. I think she's raising their children. is the idea. This is the idea there. But that's good. A one-man show he's putting on in there. Oh, man. I mean, it sounds awesome. I'd love to watch.

Rocky, get in here. Oh. What? No. Click, click, click. Rocky, why'd you say that? Click, click. No, I meant clit, clit, clit.

I'm trying to help you out. Wait, let me build a tunnel. I have to build a tunnel there. The man, the little man in the boat. I have to build the tunnel so you can throw the hot dog down the hallway. Sorry. Sorry, babe. He's a tactile speaker.

He needs to touch things. He does. I don't know. What is this? What's wrong with moving to his planet? What's wrong with that? It looked a lot more beautiful than Earth at the end. They'll just say that.

So we also meet one of two, technically two, but really just one returning character. Boy. From the erudy. Here's the great Loretta Divine as Reese the security guard. When she pulled up, it's very funny because I mean, like I've seen an urban legend like three times in my life. once for the show and I was like, Loretta Define was in another slasher? What was it? I really had that moment.

Well, you know, this is actually illuminating to me because even though we did that movie, I don't remember it at all and I did not even make the connection that she was in that. That's amazing. I didn't do a lot of research today. So when she does the whole part in the car about like, there's an urban legend about a college

security officer who caught a killer and then the school cover it. I thought it was setting her up as a red herring or something. It kind of. It The movie does try very hard to make her a red herring. There's several red herrings. Yeah, no, big time. But so, yeah, she's, campus security guard here.

She sees Amy walking down the road. You can't go that way, Sugar. That's the end of the movie. If you keep walking, you're going to hit an invisible wall. Let me give you a ride to the rest of the movie. 006 isn't down that way, baby. You've got to turn around and go back that way. But yeah, middle of the night, yeah, let me give you a ride in this snowstorm.

We're talking about Pam Greer and coffee. she's got, Reese has the gun, just like Pam Greer's got the gold gun and coffee. Jennifer Morrison was uncomfortable doing this moment where she has to like do a Pam Greer line with Loretta Devine, I would be. Yeah, it's like a real, you're under

arrest sugar kind of a moment. She's like, got to do it. She's like, shit. It's like, that's my sister, baby. And she's a whole lot of woman and Jennifer Morrison has to be like, yeah, baby. Well, she also has the incorrect opinion. She says, actually, I prefer Foxy,

Brown. I'm like, no, no, no. Coffee's better to Foxy Brown. Much better movie. Everybody thinks so. Come on. I don't know if that's true, but it is, I think so. But yeah, she's doing this whole thing. Oh, I need to do my student film, but I can't think of a good idea for a story. And then she's like,

Reese is like, well, let me tell you a story about this. Braves a kid. She goes in the, remember the first movie. Oh, it was this prestigious university covered it up. And she was fired for not going along with this cover. I'm like this whole thing. and the great urban legend my ass

I'm sure maybe made the trailer I didn't check on that but at the end of this car ride Jennifer Morrison is basically like say urban legends great idea helpful security cards tragically Jared Leto was not killed in that oh right Jared Leto's in that film sadly to say that he survived maybe he's here he was the final girl I don't see I don't remember

I should listen to me talk about it on that episode to find out of that The end of the first movie is Rebecca Gayhart is the killer. Yes, which ties into the end of this. Very dumb. My God, hell. Whoa, hold on. Uh-oh. No, I'm just looking at, because I know this is a third one of these.

I almost watched it the other day. There is? I had no idea. Urban legends colon, Bloody Mary. Oh, no way. On a prom night dare, a trio of high school friends chanted incantation, unleashing an evil spirit from the past with deadly consequence.

So, okay. It's an actual urban legend. That's cool. slasher's and then they go paranormal for the third. That's the exact same thing they did in that I know what you did last summer third movie. Oh, right, yes. Remember we did that as an episode? All of a sudden there's like kind of magic

shit in that? That's hysterical. Wait, there's a third? I know what you did. Yeah, we did. I'll always always, I'll always. Yes, yes. Okay. And it's like, with Colby. And a total nothing to do. No, no. No, no, no, there's a character named Colby. Oh, okay. I know. Colby Smolders is not.

It's like a Mormon blonde guy named Colby. What? Oh, God. That's all I remember about it. That dude, yeah, you just like pulled something out of my brain. Now I get something thinking about it. What year was that, that third one? The Bloody Mary.

Oh, 2005. Okay. Interesting. So another five years. Someone was like, here's a script. Direct a video, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's a script. Why don't we just fucking slap urban legends

on the front of it? Because that's what I thought this was, because this seems like a movie called Final Cut. Because the urban legend part of it is not really part of it. It tries to be, but then it really falls away when you realize like the kills aren't messing up. It just seems like a slasher set at a film school. And then somebody was like, you know,

if you made this an urban legend movie, you can get it made. I think you're totally right. Yeah, just fix some things here and there. Instead of just making a movie or making a horror movie, she's specifically making an urban legend horror movie. See, who's available, who's available, who's okay, the security guard. How about that? You like that?

Maybe you get her. I mean, I don't know. At least you wit. Maybe I get her on the phone. I don't know, though. Oh, that's right. She's the star of that first, or she's in it at least. Yeah, I think so.

So the next day, it's so fun. Even this movie, like, the pretentious film talk, like, this guy is, like having the most basic conversation. This old best thing. There are two professors talking. If I was at a professor, I'm like, why are you giving me 101 lecture right now? Why are we having this very base conversation that you wouldn't be having also because it's a non-starter, the notion of, like, how you compose. how you fix up your shot with your Mizan Sen

while making Cinema Verite, which is the antithesis of Cinema Verit. It would be a 10 second conversation that would have ended with Hart Baxter being like, why are you bringing this up? Are you doing a bit to me? Are you doing material right now? Are you mimicking one of your dumber students? Shouldn't we just be talking about how I'm getting divorced

or something? Exactly. Or like what lunch I have or some shit like that? Can we do that? That would add to it. I mean, I would like a layer to these characters. Dude, this guy is no Marcus Brody. I'll tell you that much. And this again, you know, this scene could be done in class where she has to pitch the movie in front of everyone and we get

to hear what everyone's doing so I can fucking follow it. You're totally right. This should be the class scene. Yes. Because also like, in these kinds of programs, yeah, you are fucking pitching shit and telling your, your fellow students like what you're doing and you're all working, you're all crewing each other's

movies and everything. Because I guess senior... Ducking the spit and the tomatoes being thrown at you. Senior year, there's no more classes. Everyone is just making movies. I guess. It's the idea. I guess that's the idea. Including two sophomores who are Anthony Anderson and the other guy. Yeah, they got a lot of free time

on their hands. Sure do. It is that thing where it seems like this program is purely, you're just there for four years, tinkering with cameras and making stuff and not learning how to do anything. So it's full sale, I guess. Is that still around or is that gone? I don't know.

What was that, that New York Film School? New York Film Academy. All these grifts that were out there at the time. A buddy of ours did that. like, yeah, it's a grift. He's like, my parents wasted thousands of dollars. There's a series of movies by this Greek guy named, I believe his name is George Tunis, who, are these the 45 Ministers?

Yes. He is, on his IMDV is a prestigious graduate of the New York Film Academy. That's awesome. What are these 45 Ministers? Like City Heat 1 and 2? Oh, the city heats. These are the Eric Roberts calls in from his bathroom and does the role on FaceTime or whatever. Great.

yeah i'm getting over a flu i can just i can knock this out in a couple hours maybe my character's got a flu too that's fine but yeah so bachner is like as she pitches like oh i wanted to do this thriller where it's like an urban legend and we try to do some scream type talk here where he's like slasher or more of a thriller horror suspense and all that and he's acting like a moron about this too because he's just like that sounds like amazing that sounds just like that sounds just like amazing that sounds just like like Hitchcock. Yes, I'm like, no, it does not. No.

Yeah, it does not. Yes, I'm making an urban legend slosh a film. That's right. What have you put your dog in the microwave? Imagine it. Could you believe why he was actually flashing the lights behind you? The noises that it would make. My God.

Yes, the toll tale of the time someone ate a spider by a. accident and that spider laid eggs in his belly. So this woman comes home from Mexico with a Chihuahua. She believes she is adopted, but wouldn't you believe it? It's a rat. And then soda and pop rocks together explodes you. That's right. Carrie, in this scene, you're going to take the pop rocks and put it in the soda and drink it,

Carrie, do you understand? We couldn't find Mentos. It's a different thing. No, mother, they didn't give me any pop rocks and soda. Well, at this moment at least, I believe it, because Harbockner is trying to figure out a murder plot slash a movie he's trying to steal. Oh, you want to make a murder movie? Excellent. I need to have some options here.

So maybe that's a good idea. Maybe that's why she has such a huge budget for this because he's secretly supporting it from the wings. Oh, yeah. We have to put it all into her. She's the real one. She's the talent. She's the frontrunner for the Hitchcock Award. Come on.

And then the plan is to kill all the students that worked on it. Everyone associated, yes. But like, wouldn't you? What about that other film professor? Like, what? You're going to burn down the school now? Maybe. Anything so he can get revenge and get his ticket to Hollywood, like us.

Because also she is of a person, which we find out later. But this other professor is like, with your family name, you're going to make a slasher movie? That's right. Because, yeah, they're all like, you're not making a documentary. that sounds ridiculous. But honestly, it's always a risk when a documentarium goes and makes a narrative film.

I'm looking at you, Errol Morris. Oh, that's true. Michael Moore. Not great. One of the dudes is one of the only ones that can do it. He's one of the only ones that can walk between the raindrops like that. Yeah, absolutely. So we cut to,

and if it seems weird, it's because this was a scene that was filmed much later because they realized they needed more kills in it. Or any, honestly. But we start off with this couple getting some Cosmos at the bar. We see both of these little Cosmos get drugged all over. Very fun 2000 era drink. Oh, absolutely.

And think of the better. And this, you know what's going on here. Lives when dolphins cried. Love a leader, all right. Lovell leaders, she will lead us. I'm sorry, folks. Let me turn down my radio. We hear the dolphins cry.

All right, buddy. Calm down there. It's all right. I know. I know, you're a rock band, it's fine, but calm down. Just take it easy. Because this is Travis, who we, we, we haven't even met him yet.

I have not met this guy yet. Maybe he was in the first scene with, he's not crewing the other thing, but. He would have been like, I think Travis is the guy, I think Travis is the guy playing the nerdy guy in the airplane situation. I, you know what?

I don't know. All these brunette actors look to say to me. Again, modeling dungeries of the J.C. Panne Cal. Is Travis, Travis is not the boyfriend in this scene. He is. He's the boyfriend. He's the guy.

The guy. Okay. I was like, are they brother and sister? Like, what is going on? She's like, I have a flight tomorrow. And thank you for letting me crew on your movie or whatever. Yeah. No problem.

And they're like, clink glasses. And she's like, she wants to fuck, by the way. She's ready to go. And then he's like, I'm sorry. I have to go work on my movie. We do see there was like a powder put in her drinks. Yes, they do get drug. And, uh, and, uh, Antonin Mount is about.

right at first i thought it was this guy so yeah but it's is is it mount that does it or is it's solomon yeah no it's it's solomon but anson mount just happens to be at this bar and then like when the other fellow leaves kyle or tucker or when or Travis he leaves and then anson mount comes over and is like you know i'm a director too and she's like i couldn't give a flying fuck what you are i was trying to join the mile zero club with that man over there Miles zero. And tried to get my fucking pussy eight in the bathroom. And you fucked that up for me.

Dude, wait, Chris, is Miles Zero when you're fucking on the town line? Yeah, yeah. Just when you're on ground. When you're on the ground. The ground high club? Miles zero, that's fine. You don't go anywhere. You don't go anywhere out there.

You want to join the sea level? Sea level club. You mean just to have sex? Back on the beach? I have lost my virginity. I am in the mile zero. Yes. Congratulations.

Look, you know, you look for stupid awards. You're always trying to give people a little credit for nothing. You've selected mile zero. She's right, though. Wasted is the only way to fly, she says. Very true. I'm always a little something when I'm in there. I guess maybe, yeah, if you're in Denver,

maybe you're in like, maybe you're in a mile club there. You know what you can fucking in Denver? Mile. 0.25. If you've only had sex in Denver, you really don't know what it's like everywhere else, right? Like, it's, fellas, it's different. It's different altitude. It's different down here, guys.

You're not part of the Miles Zero Club. You're not there. You don't know what it's like. Oh, yeah, we're fucking in Denver. Oh, that was walking in Memphis. Yeah, that's a good song. Rocky Mountain Hunt. So she tells Anson Mountain to go fuck himself.

She tries to go to the coat check. The drug starts hitting her here. Woozy, trying to get the coat over everything. I'd be like trying to look for someone. but it'd be like, I think something's wrong. Yes, exactly. We got to get this coat. Coat rooms all empty.

She goes back through there or whatever. Cuts to Bum. She's in a bathtub full of ice. She's like, oh yeah, this movie's called Urban Legend. And I thought this, until you explained it to me before we went on the air, I thought this was part of the film. Yeah, because it sticks out like a, no, you are totally within your right to think that because it sticks out like a sore thumb.

It doesn't have anything to do with anything. Nobody mentions it ever again. It looks different. Like, this house looks like a horror movie. movie house. You don't even where nothing else looks like a horror movie. Yeah, that house, it's like a hostel. She wakes up in the bathtub of eyes missing a kidney. Here's a classic urban legend type of thing. I love the killer rinsing his tools off in the sink of this disgusting hideout. Another classic urban legend. Oh, waking up in a bathtub, I've been there before. Didn't cut out my kidney, though.

I also have a fun romp where someone has a girlfriend actually in Canada. It's kind of an urban legend to have a kidney. Canadian girlfriend that you met at camp. One time I met a man who lied about his girlfriend being killed in 9-11. What were early urban legends around Hitchcock's time? Like, if a horse hits you

and it makes your head stupid, if it hits you again, it actually corrects it. Stuff like that. I think like Jerking off is going to make your eyes crossed. Harry palms. That's kind of stupid stuff. Oh, the story of the hairy palms. Believe me. And you

and ask my wife Alma Revell about this, but if that was a true legend, I'd have monkey hands. No, it's true. The Polish do have screen doors on the submarines. It's a real thing if you go there. I don't know that a screen door on a submarine

is an urban legend. But the Polish Navy in general is an urban legend. Hey, speaking of Polish people, you know what I saw on Netflix? Dude, Eric, this is right up your alley. Steve, you might want to get on this. You don't watch the regular version, but maybe this is for you. Love is blonde.

find Poland. Oh, wow. I've been circling it. I haven't taken the plunge yet. I should have done it last night. I had pierogies. It would have been perfect. Yeah, see if Nimrod finds love.

It's literally like just, it's dubbed in Polish or, or, it's Polish people. Yeah. So, yeah. Subtitled. The same show, but they're eating more veal stew or what? You'll be surprised on the international ones of how many times they do just go into English. Because everyone's speaking English these days, I guess. In the depths of my choppedum

way in like early 2011 or so, I was torrenting chopped South Africa. What? Whoa. I don't want to know about those ingredients. No, it was You have a

Blood Diamond. And special guest host Elon Musk. Did you get those on the black market? I mean, I torrented it. So yes, yeah, exactly. That's amazing. No, chop New Zealand.

No, yeah, they don't even air it is New Zealand. You go to chop Canada. You're like, right, this is fine. It's got Tori Spelling's husband as the host or whatever. Okay, sure. And it's like normalish. It's a little difference, but it's little chopped, so it's fine. And then you're chopped South Africa and like, what are you doing?

What are you doing? Is that just the three of the franchise? There might be a UK one. I never found it. That's so funny. A UK one. I mean, Jesus. You would think that'd be the first one you do. But this is a cool scene where she wakes up and she's got the... And also, like, there's like gore here, like with

the scratch on her, on her side. Oh my God. She's trying to leave, like, there's a cool, like, creepy door thing going on here. It's a better move. Whatever this movie is the best. It's the best set in the movie, and it's apparently a real-life place that's just near the school, question mark. Yeah, I don't know how far they took her after the drugging in the bar. Why not, you know, I guess this was a reshoot, so you can't really do this, but why not use this set again?

Like, make it the professor's home or whatever. No one's ever actually been there. Oh, that would have been there. Oh, we have to drop off our assignment. Wow, he lives in this creepy old mansion. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Looks like a saw room.

It's very small. Big time. And they just, they don't do it again. And there's a dog outside barking at her because she's like, basically she sees him. She makes herself known to the killer and the killer is now trying to get her. Because she slips on the ice on the floor. Yeah, that's right. It's kind of good because like you see the foot.

Oh, the foot's coming down on the ice. But then she like slips and the sexy tutsies and go fly. She's trying to get out the wheel. She's trying to get out the wheel. window, there is the dog is chained perfectly in line to almost bite her face, but not. Yeah. Against signifying that that should be like a student film or something. Right. Yeah. It just seems like so perfect. Exactly. And then the killer is grabbing her

and then starts ripping at her wound. Oh, yeah. That's, yeah, that's tough. There's a peel back, which I was like, Gult should say she does try to call 911 and gets a salty 911 up her in the world. That's another thing that would tell you this would be a fake thing. Exactly. I think every time you call 911, even if you're like literally a fucking alien landed on my head and he's trying to kill me they're like we'll send an officer just stay on the like they have to do that they came like yeah yeah good one i got princess die on the other line princess die on the other line which she was dead at this point so that's fantastic let me get through this italian combo and then i'll get you a cop over there it is it's the wig of invisible typewriter bit and so yeah she tries to escape out this wind

doesn't work. Very jollo right here. This dude breaks the window and she kind of, her neck gets the Tony Goldwyn death from ghost. This window slides down. Boop, that head goes right off. But there was no complete decapitation in ghost, right? No, no, no, no. I mean, that's another thing that I thought this was the student film because a pain of glass decapitating someone. Try it at home, folks. You're not going to, it's not easy. This is your homemade guillotine that didn't work. I mean, I remember. I remember. I remember you've said too much already.

But yeah, I do like the little, the final touch here of the killer just feeding the woman's kidney to the dog. And again, like this, I understand the reason to put this in because it's the best part of the movie. But it's so bizarre that no one's like, what happened to Lisa or whatever this character's name? I believe it is Lisa or Lara. I don't know.

Who cares? I assume that's her name. Who care? Yeah. Trying to see if I can scroll down. Lisa, who care? It is Lisa. And it's Jacinda Barrett, who's an actress who's...

We saw her in previous episode Poseidon. Oh, nice. Latter 49, The Last Kiss. Is she also in You're the Word? Somebody... God, she was in some TV show, I'm forgetting. Oh, I don't know. It's not in her tops anyway, and she has not worked.

It appears since 2021. And also just, if we're cleaning stuff up. City Rush is the series of films by George Tunis. I'm going to show everyone the poster... The Eric Roberts. Yeah, yeah. He's on the phone. in the poster, which is pretty great. That's insane. He's just on the phone for his whole appearance in the movie.

Love that. Just making myself some mooseley here. Some yogurt, some honey. I can do a movie. So we have, Amy is telling Sandra about this other urban legend that they're going to film where it's this whole, oh yeah, it's the end of the semester. And everybody, when it gets to midnight, everybody screams to celebrate, you know, finals and shake off whatever.

And in that moment, when everybody's screaming, someone gets killed and they can't hear the screams because everybody's screaming on campus is the idea and Amy's like oh yeah I'll cast you in my movie too Sandra you can scream right and we know that she's fucking horrible from the previous airplane movie

and we'll see her be horrible in this one also which why is this surprising to her she was the she was running sound on Anson Mounts movie you heard it all yes you saw it you got to find I know Jacinda Berrett just got murdered but you got to find another actress to be in your heart because this was reminding me actually

funny enough of a blowout. Yes, over where the scream at the beginning fucking sucks. I always love that because like in the end of that fake movie when the scream has to come, it's like an old witch sound emerges from that actress. It's very funny. It's, I mean like, this

movie is clever insofar as like it's talking about blowout. I think like later on like there's some, there's just a lot of stuff that just is reminiscent of other film. Good references. Yes. But the problem is what we keep coming back to is all of the stuff that they, I think they are successfully referencing nicely

are not slasher related. So that's again why you have this added scene because it was like, yeah, all this stuff is fine. But that last one was a slasher. This has to be a fucking slasher. Yeah, exactly. So there's this nice moment where Amy's like walking through the editing suite at school.

So you see like Toby's editing his airplane movie. Travis is working on his sound mix for his very secretive, awesome thing that nobody can see. And then yeah, this is you have Anthony Anderson. And the other guy's name is Michael Bacall. and he, like I said, went on to do screenwriting, he wrote Scott Pilgrim, Project X, 21 and 22 Jump Street, and the new

Wright Running Man. Okay. So he's getting some big projects, which is cool. But yeah, they are Stan and Dirk, and it's basically, a lot of them is just laughing like Beavis and Butthead throughout this movie. Well, they're like little kids in a way. They're like tag at each other practically. And it's like, I get that they're sophomores or whatever, but they're still like 19, 20 years old.

Why is I try to get laid even a little bit? I know, seriously. All the seniors are asking you to work on their sexy horror movie? I don't believe that they're making, like, you're supposed to believe these two are making their own movies. And I just don't feel like, because they're in the film program, you would think, like, that's what you're also doing.

But they're specifically, like, FX guys throughout the entire movie. So maybe this school, it's like, you're either the director track, and that's everything all-encompassing, or you're just the special effects. This is an acting school, too, because that girl, Asandra is an actress.

She's not, well, I guess it's not the best acting school in the world. Oh my God. Not really known for that program. But these nerds do have like strong opinions on movies

that makes me think they are also maybe directing or something because the, uh, Bacall there is saying, uh, he has to say fuck George Lucas at one point because he likes digital. George Lucas likes digital and we're doing this anti-digital line.

Right, right, right. They just seem like the two horror guys from summer school to me. Yes. Like, like no different to me. Yeah,

yeah. better move. Oh my God. You don't even bring it up how much a better movie that is than this. We're just starting to learn who these characters are. We learn that Joey Lawrence also is like the rich kid. Producer. He's on the producer track.

The producing school they got. Because this character is the serious Nepo baby because he's like, I'm going to call my dad. We'll get this, this and that sorted babe, but like that kind of. Which is fine, but like he's barely in the movie. And not that I want more Joseph Lawrence, but like you kind of. he's a red herring like everyone's a red herring he's one of the bigger names at the time like he's a known guy at least

so like that makes him yeah exactly he's like nine lines of dialogue I put him in with Anselm and Travis I'm just like okay one of them is going to do something I assume and the answer is none of them do anything and that's my problem right there I do like when you see they're like they meet at their little towny bar

to sort of plot out filming Amy's movie and there is the great thing where Joey Lawrence is like yeah I'm having the PA like go wash my car or whatever Joseph. Oh, my God, you're right. Sorry. Excuse me.

Joseph. Early in the movie, because he's the PA. John, could you fire that guy? He called me Joey. That's the weird blonde kid who's at the end of the movie, too. Yes. Early in the movie, somebody calls him Scroat, and I was hoping that that was this name. Oh, that's cool.

But I was just like, oh, it's a story. Like, that's his actual last name. It's Frank Scroat. No, he's just known as the Scroat. You know, and it's college. Oh, right. You get those nicknames. Yeah, he's Scroat.

Oh, dude, Scroats. coming to the party. Scroote, Scroote, Scroote, Scroote. Yeah, that's a good nickname. That's not bad.

Why is it? You ever see that guy's Scroote, dude? It's got about it. It's legendary. Because then after all the partying and whatever else. Then you'd also be able to be like,

hey, so how hilarious was it last night when Scroot was totally sexually humiliated at that frat party? Exactly. Again. Scroot would be the guy at the beginning of terror train

that gets the humiliation at the party. Yes. Because Joseph Lawrence like hey here's 20 bucks scrote go wash my car and he's like what I think someone's like you're so mean to say he's a PA what is he going to do I'm like this isn't a movie like it's not a real set

I mean this is just another student he's in the he's in the PA school Scroote needs to be like I'm sorry Joseph Lawrence this is a student film fuck you I'm just I'm doing so and so a favor to PA I'm just helping out this is where the whole

the fuck George Lucas thing happens because Joseph Lawrence is like why are we bothering with all of this practical VFX? I can call my dad and we'll have computer digital stuff in here. I would love to see what that would look like on a student fucking film dude. Yeah, totally. Well, it would be funny if it was

like your shitty student film and then it cuts to like Big Pudgeon Hollywood effects. Peter Jackson is working on the effects to your movie. Yeah, exactly. Working on doing it. I'm just doing it a little bit here. Let's see what we can get here. Can we got a fly monkey in here maybe? You want a feeble to be in your movies?

Come on now. I'll get you two feeble by 3 o'clock this afternoon. Do you want a puppet? Yeah, I owe this guy a favor. I've got to stop doing Lord of the Rings to help this son's stupid movie. Sorry, everybody. The new Lord of the Rings movie is going to be delayed a hell year because I had to help out a student film.

Excuse me. West Crave, yeah, West Craven. Phil Jackson, you stole my genre. I've been in my genre for so long, brother, and you stole that fucking... I was a genre head. God damn it. In this scene, Anson Mount runs in.

to talk to Jennifer Morrison's character. And yes, you stole my genre. The dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Nobody steals the Hitchcock from me. What? Say fucking what? Oh, my God. It's like, you stole my genre is so fucking funny.

Oh, my God. Oh, Lord and Heaven. Yeah, because fucking two horror movies were never made simultaneously ever. Is it just, no, the Hitchcock Award, is that just for horror or Hitchcockian themes, or is that any film? I think any film. Any film. Again, like, you think it should be a

suspenseful word though, right? Yeah. You would think so. Because, again, like, all of these movies would be like, oh, this is about my, it's about a kid who gets abused and then blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, you know, like, all that. The student filmy kind of stuff,

or like, it's about a breakup, but it's set in one room because we have no fucking money. And it's just two bad actors talking Kazimetti style. Exactly. Because you can't afford to have a big fantastical adventure, so you have to have a life movie. Yes. Because you're 18, you haven't had much of a life.

So it's all the same kind of shit for the most part. Exactly. But, yeah, just the whole, yeah, you stole my genre. And then he's like, you can find yourself another DP. Oh, come. But also, he is roughing her up at this part. He's fucking, like, pushing her up against the wall about all this. And everyone's just like, oh, hey, they're just talking.

Like, no one's having a big problem. Yeah, oh, that's just Toby. He's passionate. I heard you were going to put tension in your movie. You're going to put fucking tension in your movie. It seems like Jennifer Morrison has a thing for Travis. Big time because she goes to his house to see. It's kind of funny because I thought it was going to be like, would you DP this movie for me?

You know? And then she's like, well, you're sitting on a porch smoking and just drinking out of a whiskey bottle directly. Do you know someone I could call about this? Well, because you got a C minus on his big student. C fucking minus. So he completed it, turned it in directly just to Hart Bockner as Professor Solomon there. and no one else has seen it. Nope, not at all.

We find out later that it has been edited. Like they took the, his credits are there, but the movie was changed. Completely different movies. Yeah. I mean, as for, if you just, I guess he, if he's lived a little, it would all unravel, right?

Because he could probably eventually see that movie because it's not like Bockner got rid of it. The, his alleged bad movie. Eventually it would be seen somewhere. It would have to be. Yes. If it's, you know, as bad as it's supposed to, like it would.

out or something. And the judging is a private, it's privately screened. Hart Bachter privately looks at these things. I think it's like Hart Bacher and the other old guy, which I think is the entire faculty of this program. Which the old guy should die at some point too. That guy should really get it. And also there's the other old guy. They have that stupid scene where he's like, and I would like to introduce this Terry Zweigoff looking motherfucker. You're right. There's at least three people up there. You're right.

One time one of one of my creative writing classes, there was, we were reading stories and there had to there was a donor of the program who's this ancient woman and she falls asleep like it's this it was I remember very very clearly it was this woman this girl in my program had a story about like an old lady and a chicken on a bus and blah blah blah that's the old lady they brought her in here's my inspiration urban legend she started to see a chicken and a bus we're in business we get the fucking film adaptation going This woman passes out at the beginning of the story. And then like right at the beginning.

And we're just like now we're talking about it. Oh, this theme, that theme and whatever else. And this woman just wakes up in the middle of this discussion. Did they eat the chicken? That's right. Did they eat the bus then? What's happening? What happened?

Those senior auditors, man, we had a couple in our program. Like the old guy, his name was Marty. He would fall asleep constantly. constantly when a movie would get put on. Just being like in your 70s and being so deciding to surround yourself 20 year olds. I can't. Because you're just that loaded and you've got that little to do that you're just going to take these film classes as a retiree and whatever.

Maybe like Palpatine trying to steal their youth. Probably right. Yeah. Thankfully there was never any like, what are you kids up to? There was never any of that. But this guy was all always like because he was old and he'd make like old timer remarks and all the students would be like, P.U. That's a fucking dated-ass thing to say.

And then there was an old woman, and I don't remember her name, but she was much nicer and quieter. And the two of them would like fight constantly. Oh, that's, yeah. That's how yes. Oh, my God. Just old people bickering. And I'm like, I'm paying fucking $30,000 a year for this.

Saying antiquated things like 21 scadoo. And then I gave him this 21 skidoo. And I got out of there. No, I don't, Charlie Chaplin was a womanizer. He's just, he's a son of a bitch. I have the marks on my fanny to prove it. I feel a little uncomfortable.

I feel a little uncomfortable being taught by a woman, but I guess I'll withstand it this one time. So we go to the Orson Wells Film Complex. Okay. Which is just, it's a massive soundstage somewhere on this campus where they're filming movies. I wonder, like, because it... Did Orson donate money?

That's why it's named that. You'd think, right, I mean, these things are always, it's named after a donor. Or someone who went there, anything. But whatever, that means, You'd have to be, I set it in a place. Right. Yes, I gave my personal chef to this school.

And he makes all of the good eats for the children. The Orson Well's Dining Hall? That's a funny joke. That would be great. That's how it's a joke. Absolutely. Totally. All you can eat.

There better be a buffet in there. That's all I'm saying. As many peas as you like. Salad bar. What's the point? Open up to school a little bit because, like, It would make sense. Like our school, you know, is an art school.

There was a film program, but there was also a writing program. There was also just, you know, Bachelor, you know, humanities and all. Have a little bit of that. Like every school in the world. Exactly. NYU, USC. Exactly. So then, yeah, like, have Sandra be like, yeah, I'm a philosophy major, but I really want to act.

Like, that's something. Exactly. Make it a college. Don't just make it these two separate places. We go back and forth from repeatedly. We're in the Orson- Wells building. And this, uh, huge toilets. Oh, because it's a huge story.

I was going to say it's the biggest building on campus, right? That's why. Every bathroom better have their own floor to ceiling stall walls, you understand? I want everyone in the bathroom to feel like they're in their own apartment, okay? That's what I'm paying for. There's one trick urinal. F is for fake. It's pretty funny.

You go up and piss on it and the piss just falls on your shoe. Every toilet in here came from the famous Wells Mansion in Newport. Reinforced. When you have to make your Zanadu do-do Come right this way It's a quote on the wall I don't like going to the bathroom

In the Orson Wells building I fell into the toilet It's so fucking big Yes we're going to have walking toilets You can either poop into them Or you can swim in there So they're starting to work on this film For Amy here

And Simon the European DP shows up And this is Marco Hofschneter Who we just saw in fucking Island of Dr. Moreau He's a kid from Europa Europa. He plays one of the freaks in the Moreau there. Poor guy. So he's here and yeah, this is, you know,

Vec and I put my stuff, I brought my cool camera, all this. It is my camera. Don't you touch it? Yes, well, she's like, oh, all we have is whatever, a super eight camera. And he's like, no, but I have this excellent camera. And I'm like, oh, cool, do you have like a million dollars for the film for that thing? Exactly.

What are we talking? Who's foot in the bill for the film stock? Yes. Every time I go back to my house, I actually make more stocks. Myself, it's all homemade stocks. You don't have to worry about any of that. Chicken bones and, you know, water, you boil that down. Some rocks.

Some stone soup. That's, yes. It smells very bad coming from my house. I'm sorry. And this is where we learned that the Ava Mendez character is queer because this dude hits on her. And she's like, oh, you know, not my speed or whatever. And she then offers, can I give you a lift to which this fucking sauce. saucy European just goes

You already have She's like, you're really cute If you're a lady, I might be interested And then some sexy lady, I might be interested. And then some sexy lady that's like, come in bitch! Oh, right, yes. And I don't know if she says that to my girlfriend, but that's what I picked up, you know.

It's, I mean, it's like Because I think she is said like, hey, sex, it's something like that's like They're not just friends, this is her girlfriend. Yes. Clearly here. You already have. I'm just going to go home and use my spank bank.

and spank bang mine spank bank because they're filming the dog scene and Sanders doing a very bad job and everyone's leaving and Sandra's leaving but oh she left her keys on the set you understand

this is the urban legend of your dog being hung in the shower question mark the urban legend of going to film school I think she pitches the scene as something like she goes to the character goes to bed every night

and puts her hand down so the dog licks it so she knows she's safe because the dog is here or something. But then she wakes up and the dog's strung up and, like, ripped apart in the bathroom. And yes, humans can lick too. It's like on, written in blood on the wall. Interesting. Gross.

I think I would know the difference between my dog's tongue and some fucking pervert. I hope so in the moment. Yeah, we do a tongue, a dog tongue and a human tongue thing. You're expecting to win the Hitchcock Awards with this? Not with all this tongue talk. But she left her keys and she comes back. Looking for these keys, dude. And I got to tell you, she's like, oh, I found my keys.

Buried amongst the pile of like fake organs and a box. Like, what are you talking about? What were you doing in there? And as she's looking around for these keys, we see the killer starts filming. This is very peeping Tom, which was cool. I was like, oh, I want to rewatch that movie now. No knife on the end of this camera, though. We're just filming here.

and just amongst the prop organs, there's her keys. But then we cut to, we're watching dailies of the movie, and Amy's not thrilled because Sandra sucks and everybody is sitting in this screening room, like, yeah, Sandra fucking sucks. And this is embarrassing. And Simon, the DP, is like, why don't you turn it into an comedy?

It would be so much funnier because she's terrible. He's got a point. It looks like a scary movie. It does. So we're watching these dailies. It's awful. and then, uh-oh, accidental mass screening of a snuff film. Yeah.

This is very funny. And it looks better than anything that's been made at this film school. And they're all like, this is fucking awesome. Look at this. I mean, it's entertaining at the very least. I mean, come on now. Tell me that girl didn't get killed on that film set, sir. I need you to find these men.

Oh my God. I'm going to need a $200 day stipend. I have to go to film school. We got to go undercover as film students. Yeah, I'm making a slasher movie. Hello, fellow kids. Wow, the Orson Wells Auditorium. That's pretty cool. I met him once.

The water is so high every time I sit in that toilet, my balls get dunked. I'm so sick of dunking my balls in the Orson Welles toilet. Of course, you have to have ball towels there for people who are not up to my size. Oh, yes, ball towels. Now we're talking. There's something about like, oh, that's not a realistic. amount of blood or whatever. Great Anthony Anderson line. OJ. left more blood than that on the Bronco. Yes. Remember? You guys remember? It was about six years ago at this point. You remember that?

Cultural touchstone. Oh, big time. The famous orange juice murder murders. Yeah, because like, Jennifer Morrison is freaked out. It's like, oh my God, I think she's dead. And then like, there's this thing where she went to Los Angeles because Joey Lawrence got her a part on ER to be a coma victim. Right. Yeah. So she's like conveniently sort of out of the movie. And this is sort of a nice slasher trope of like, I'm going at it. I'm going on the fishing trip and fucking whatever that was there. Oh, Lord Almighty. We did the commentary on it.

World War II guy. The prowler. Yeah. And prowler. It's like, I'm going on my fishing trips. I'm out of town and I'm going to be the killer later. So that like sort of now, it would have made her red herring if you didn't see you

get fucking murdered here. But they go up to the film, the projection room, and they're like, where's this real? And it's just that creepy PA. And he's like, I don't know. the real man. I'm just in here for no reason. Don't you think I could be the murderer? Get out of here. Scroat. Yeah, come on, scroat.

But then the search is interrupted because Toby comes in and he's like, hey, Travis killed himself. To which we have one of the, like, least respectful, fucking campus, like, grieving things. Like, Hart Bockner is just like, gather around, gather around. So Travis is fucking. dead. Just pass it on to your fellow students. I know they're not all here. And it's just a thing where it's like, you know,

he could have been a great director and like, you know, it's a pretty cowardly thing to do. Like doing that whole fucking bad version of a suicide, what do you call it, eulogy? Like, you never want, it's a very tragic situation. And our thoughts over this family. By the way, this should now be the Travis Award. You know what I mean?

Or whatever. Totally right. Yeah, now it's the Travis. For making a bad. A bad movie, you get the Travis. That's the Razzie on campus. Oh, you got a Travis. Yeah, the travi dude, there it is.

But we are playing with stuff because he shot himself in the head with a shotgun so much so they couldn't even identify the body. So, like, dude, Travis? Well, you know, he was a huge Nirvana fan. Now, we are going to be hiding the body and everything from the police. So let's make sure there's no police on the campus. No autopsy. No whatsoever.

It's just Loretta Divine dragging a grown man into a garbage bag? I don't think this is my job description, baby. She says that she's fucking burning a corpse. Better get it. Better get that good Christmas bonus. I better get it. My God, coffee never had to do this. It's fucking burning this body.

We do see someone who looks maybe like Travis and links away. Yeah, like Jennifer Morrison's like, say. Also, another thing about this Bachner eulogy, he's like, and I believe it was true foe in Night and Day who said, and in my head I was like, you know what, Walter? not everything has to do with fucking Vietnam. You need to talk about the movies right now. No, you don't.

Oh, my God. But yeah, he was a hell of a talent. Whatever. There's like a student memorial that's going on. And Joey Joseph Lawrence has to come in and be like, and may I remind you, Sandra's in Los Angeles. Like that all comes out. And he's like going up to Amy and he's like,

I think we can make this horror movie a big deal. I'm going to talk to my dad. He's this big Hollywood guy. Your friend just dies. What the fuck, man? He's making mood. Dude, not friend, dude. Competitor.

Yeah, I guess so. That Hitchcock is good as mine. But I also think he's trying to lay her, because that's what he's doing with Sandra. It's like, oh, I can get you a role on ER. It's all about the laying. And then he's like, I could help you if you help me kind of a thing. Yeah, could I lay down on top of you sometime? But this is right.

He calls her out. Come up and lay down on top of me sometime. Who could forget that iconic Bay Westline? The weird part was she was saying it to Faddy Arbuckle, which is no real risk she was running. Oh, boy. But yeah, this is where he's like, we have to fucking be the cream of the crop. We have to stand above everybody else because we are Hollywood royalty. And she, yes, is the daughter of an Oscar-winning documentarian who was murdered by like,

or killed in some way doing a nature documentary. I'd like to imagine he was mauled by bears. Absolutely. You can't listen to me. I never listen to it. My dad Timothy Treadway. Listen, Ann, we are a classic Hollywood dyad. If we combine our powers will be so much more.

Oh, man. We're going to be talking enough about dyads next week. Thank you very much. But she's like, no, because she's like, oh, no, I'm just from Chicago. Oh, spare me the whatever. And also, like, I don't know, not for nothing. But, like, documentarians are, you know, it's a very prestigious thing to do and you can make money.

but it's not like you're famous. God, no. Herzog is like the most famous documentary. You think like Tony Herzog, his son is like, oh shit, that's Tony Hertzza. No, no one would care. Frederick Moore? Yes, fine.

We're going to live David Neville into this. Nobody knows Morgan Neville. Nobody knows who Morgan Neville is. He made several documentaries. Yeah, no, they grossly underestimate how much people in this world at large You care about documentary. It's true.

When I was at NBC as an intern, Frederick Weissman was having problem getting access to some meeting he had at the security desk. That's how much they don't give a shit about that. He's roughing up this 90-year-old man. I think he was like 80 or 70 then. Oh, my bones. Could you stop? My bones hurt.

Rest in peace, legend. Oh, yeah. A little Cory Spurlock is on campus. Maybe he's going to do like, I'm going to eat at the dining hall every single day. And I'll see what's going to happen. I'll tell you what. I know that guy has passed away. but you would be changing your name.

Oh, did he die? He's dead for a few years. I think he had cancer. Probably from the fucking McDonald's, though. I don't know. It's a tough year for him. Actually, I think it might have been Albert Maisels, actually.

Oh, a Mazels. See, I didn't even care. See, I'm confusing. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's just, I do, like, documentaries are very important. They are. But it's not like,

someone, I think the older guys, like, well, you're a Mayfield, girl. That's like, I don't know, it's not a fucking Skywalker. Like, relax. Yeah, exactly, dude. So we cut to Amy with a completely different haircut.

She's going into the tower building on campus where Toby supposedly ended it all. And this, I guess, entire building is closed for construction because we've got a bunch of creepy statues all over the place. But a lot of shit's just covered in plastic and there's scaffold. I guess there was the blood went everywhere. It was a real mess in there. This apparently is a slight reference to Black Christmas apparently. in that scene where all the plastic Yeah, a little nod is

A little something. That's what IMDB told me and I kind of believe it. But this is where she sees Travis just standing there healthy as the day is long, but uh-oh, it's Trevor, could you believe it? The twin brother. I made it as, I said it as a joke. I was like

I am his twin brother, just like joking with my wife and then of course it actually happens and I feel like an asshole because I'm watching the movie with the stupid fucking twin brother thing. I can't fucking stand it. So dumb. I mean, you could present it as that. It should be a twist again.

Yeah, it's a double twist. Yep, exactly. You were so stupid you believed I was my twin brother. Like, you could play it that way, right? They're doing the sketchy thing. Later on, like, she's, she says after like multiple people are murdered, like, we have to go to the place. Like, we can't. We have to solve it ourselves. Well, you know, Travis was the, we both had a lot of film talent.

He says something to the effect of, I wound up on the, the wrong side of the law so I can't go to the cops. I'm like, what was this guy sling, child porn? Like, what is the issue? It's so weird. Child porn film school. Epstein, you. The Gary

Glitter Building is where he is in. So, you turn on the camera and that's kind of it. You turn on, you see his camera, there's a button here, you press that one. I mean, if you want to get yourself a bed, too, that's fine. I'm your professor Jeffrey Jones for the day.

Remember, you need to bring me nine pictures of little boys. Today's lecture is on what we'll call close calls. But yeah, you see, no, no, Hector, the problem is you didn't turn the camera on. You were supposed to turn the camera on at the beginning of it, and that's how you do. And we're very powerful lobby. We're actually getting all the allegations taking out of Michael. Still hard at work. Oh, that's what Brian Singer went.

I forgot it. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, don't tell me. don't tell anyone you saw me here. Don't go to the police. This is setting it up like, yes. You know,

he's not Trevor. He's Travis. And like the fact that it is, yeah, because she says it later, she's like, dude, what are you talking about?

Like people, the bodies are piling up. We've got to go to the cops. And he's like, yeah, it is something later on about like, I just had some run-ins with the law. And I was like,

did you kill somebody? Is there a warrant out for your arrest? I do need to know. Yes. If it's drugs, let it be drugs. That's fine, man.

Amy, You don't want any of this, okay? I didn't make a complete stop at a stop sign of the other day. So I'm nervous about the police. I'm so sorry. I had to go through that. I accidentally took a pen from the post office. I don't think they're looking for it.

Five whole years. Five whole years are going to put me up for that. Kick my door down, find that pen. It is fun. The way the scene ends is very funny too because he's like, yeah, I don't know. There's something weird going on here. I'm going to find out what. And then he just hilariously runs off into the,

the night leaving her alone. Sure. All right, man. This is the kid from Legally Blonde. That's his big, big. Yes, yeah, absolutely right. Along with the, what's her name? Also, the front of him.

Caulfield is also. Legally blondes. So we cut to the sequence where Amy is filming. It's the urban legend of everybody's screaming. And so we got the kids together celebrating the end of the semester scene and whatever.

Got to mention Eva, is it Eve or Ava Mendez? I've always said Ava. Ava Mendez. looking quite striking in this scene. Very much so. And she is aggressively

checking out Jennifer Morrison and yes. That's just quite all right. And now we're all screaming. Yeah, we're all screaming. Wild track the recording for the because I guess she needs a sound of 10 people screaming at once. I don't even know what this would be.

She's just capturing the sound so I think they can lay it in later for the sequence of everybody actually screaming. Right. Okay. Right. Right. Because they do mention in that urban legend. Campus legend. Right. And her...

Campus legend, at least. She should call it that. Her super microphone is catching stuff that's like through the building downstairs. Of the German getting beaten to death with his camera. Gene Hackman in the conversation

made this fucking mic. Jesus Christ. Oh, would you look at that? That dead European DP used to be somebody's sons. Somebody's baby. Somebody loved him. Now he got his

brains bashed in by a film lens. John, were you taping urban legend on this? I can't. I can't. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, he's, he's, I'm gonna' not filming anything. It's just audio. So he's clear to go home for the night. And yeah, this is the first time I think we see the killer in

the fencing mask from the first movie. Yeah. Was it from the first movie? Yeah. Jesus, it was. I had no memory of that movie. The problem with this movie, I believe the last one too, the fencing mask, it's a bit weak to be fair to the slasher mask. Yeah. And like

he's wearing different masks in this movie a couple times. Much like Territron, and you got to commit to your mask. Exactly. You can't have fucking groucho marks and then lizard guy and it doesn't work. Because later he's wearing that like moon mask, just kind of sharp. He looks like Mac Tonight. It's like if Mac Tonight was strung out on drugs, that's what that mask looks like. And like that's spooky scary, but like again, like...

Keep the fencing mask. Keep it consistent. You need to have your slasher be consistent. And honestly, I like the idea of the fencing mask in somewhere that it would make fucking sense. Yes. Like Olympic tryouts or something. Oh, nice. Oh, there you go. But the connection here is weird because so, yeah, we've said it already, but like Hartchner is the killer.

This implies that he's aware of the events of the first film. Sure. To such a degree that he's mimicking it, this is where you need to be like, and I got this great idea from my fucking dead younger brother, Jared Leto, whoever from that first movie. There's got to be some thread there. Even if at the end with a very bad Rebecca Gay Hart moment,

if she's like, You followed almost all of my instructions. Yeah, anything like that. But it's just such a weird connection. And then, yeah, it's not a consistent connection. So it's very weird. But this is like, yeah, he beats him to death. It's an okay kill.

It's not great. It's all right. It's, you know, this is another, I think, very jollo kind of kill. Yes, yeah. You can't hear because there's noise going on and whatever. But, yeah, so she finishes the scream stuff. And then she still has the cans. on and the boom mic is still operating

and she can hear kind of him screaming downstairs. No, it's a good German scream. It's a good German scream. It's a good German scream. It's a good German scream. Yeah, yeah, she goes down explores the exact area. Like, she really nails where they're all way now. But she notices the two security

cameras, so she goes to Reese. And yes, Reese is in her security office dancing to Foxy Brown. She's got Foxy Brown on all the security monitors. Kind of a cool way to watch a Pam Greer movie on 12 TVs or once. She wants to re-watch, you know, she was really hard on the coffee thing, but she wanted to make sure, you know, I respect it. Just to check. You just got a check.

I'm with her on coffee, but I respect looking at it again. Big recommend a Friday Foster. Also good. Also really good. Wouldn't it make more sense to, because they even do this sort of at the end, make her like a Dr. Loomis character in terms of like, she has been to the first movie and she's happening again. And like, she's on the case as opposed to like, she keeps calling. Jennifer Morrison crazy and it's like

I don't know man this happened to you like two years ago exactly you were talking about it in the car clearly it's still on your mind do you want to take precious screen time away from a young white woman are you serious it would be awesome though if she was more like the Lumbas than you could possibly have cool lines like I shot him six

times maybe and we're like fuck that's cool man that's cool Lorena Divina that's be nice but so Amy is like hey can I borrow these security tapes from you because she's like I'm not going to rewind shit, honey. And she's like, okay, well, can I borrow these from you?

I can't wait to be, I can't wait to be fire child. Exactly. There's a bit of fucking murder on your campus. I just ask you to rewind the tape. I cannot be bothered to do so. It's so insane. Instead, you can just borrow the tapes. Oh, and then lose them.

That's fine. Awesome. Okay. I don't have a boss. That's, you know, it's funny that I just don't have one that would be pissed about this. They forgot to give me a boss. I don't even really work here. He just wandered in.

I'm just supposed to be sassy and, like, help you do stuff. Some other security guard comes in and it's like, Reese, are you in here again? I told you to get the hell out of here. You don't work here. Give you back that jacket. Where'd you get that gun? This is my copy of Foxy Brown.

What the fuck? Also, the gun thing, you know, like security guards don't have guns. I mean, campus police department, perhaps. I brought my own child. I'm pretty sure they were packing heat on our campus. But they were actual cops. They were state police stationed there. That was a weird choice.

I guess it's a state school. Maybe it's not as weird as I think it is. But yeah, so she reviews the tapes. And then would you know it right at midnight, there's Simon getting fucking beat to death. And she's like, whoa, that urban legend came true. Uh-oh. Is this where she goes into the alien-to-esque fucking water drainage system?

We're about to because this is the Mac tonight. She goes to the recording studio. And he's, yeah, it's just got this evil McDonald's mask on like, how's we going? But the funny thing is within this scene, it's just like he's got the Mac Tonight helmet on in the recording studio. And then when he comes out to Chaser, he's just got the fencing helmet on again. Well, because I think at some, that's right. Double masking. I don't like it.

You brought two masks. Or we're trying to set up the idea that maybe there's multiple people working on this thing. That could be. Yeah. Anthony Anderson and other guy earlier on, like, run up to Jennifer Morrison. they're like dressed in like old movie monster universal monster masks and they're like, we're movie monsters

you want to play movie monsters? Like, shouldn't you be trying to get laid or something? Shouldn't you be like hitting on this girl? This isn't work. Whatever this is, it's not working. But you know what's interesting is they do then fit a classic slasher character trope of the sexless losers. Yeah, it's true. They are the Shelley

Yeah. From Friday the 13th part three like in this movie. But it's just there's two of them. Two losers. But I guess that's why he's wearing the Mac Tonight Mask is still maybe, oh, maybe it's them kind of a thing. Sure. Yeah, maybe, right. So she, I do like, there's a cool thing where, like, she's hiding under the piano. The killer starts, like, drumming on the lower keys, which is kind of nice.

But, yeah, she runs out. And this is just this, I don't know, you have to say some location where the school is, in some degree, because she just runs out and then is just magically in a forest. Yes, the lake. Yes, she runs. Wasn't it snowing yesterday? What's happening? I had a note that it was like the film school is so awesome here. They have their entire Camp Crystal Lake set on campus.

Ready to go anytime you need it. Ready to make these school slashes. While he is doing this piano thing, I need to see Jennifer Morrison like getting wound up like Roger Rabbit. Like this would not get me to move at all. Like fucking bhr-br-br-br-b-what. Oh, wow, you cannot play the piano. Shave and a haircut. Two bits.

Victims hate this. She falls into that crystal lake after dropping the VHS tapes on the dock or something. Of course, she's idiot. But yeah, something about she falls in this lake and then all of a sudden she's in this drainage tunnel. It's just, it's really something. And yeah, there's all these, dude, Steve, I wrote yellow lights flashing like it's aliens. Yes, exactly. It's specifically the third act of an aliens movie where shit's gone south and the yellow warning lights are going.

She's going to suck the fucking urban legend guy out in the airlock. Well, the school has such a high budget for special effects. There's actually a spaceship on campus. Of course, yeah. Complete with its own airlock thing. You can get someone ass first. There's a space set at the end of the movie. Oh, right.

Completely dumb aliens and bullshit. Again, that would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. You can't have Eva Mendez, you bitch. So she runs into Reese again, and she's like, hey, campus security guard. There's someone chasing me, and there's this. killer going on and she's like, the cops aren't going to do anything unless you have those VHS tapes you borrowed from me, which you lost in a lake that we have. And then she goes back to the sound room and there's a broken window. She's like, this is just vandalism. I'm like, this is not

great for the Loretta Devine character. Like this should, she should be like on the case now. Exactly. She shouldn't be pushing away from it because she experienced this before. If it was a totally new character that hadn't already been in a slasher movie two years ago, then it would make sense. Like, you're crazy, girl, but this is like, you feel. You feel. fucking saw it go down. She's the Dewey to update it for the screen. But she also doesn't give a shit that there was

maybe a vandal that broke all this shit. Oh, it's just vandalism in this very expensive recording studio. What are we paying you for? You're not. Yeah, you're not. You're supposed to keep the students safe and also stop vandalism. Those are the two things you're supposed to do.

You didn't secure the studio. It's in your fucking job title. No. Oh my God. But, uh, yes, So Amy goes and meets with Trevor. And again, this is the, why can't we go to the cops? This dude just chase me through a tunnel system.

Oh, I've had trouble with the law. And then it's like, oh, you know what we'll do? We'll draw them out on tonight's shoot, which is the big fucking amusement park set deal. And like, oh, man. Which the school has like a mining set that we're going to use to double as it. She says like I got, no, this is supposed to be like actual amusement park. We actually left campus. Oh, really?

Okay. And it's like, oh yeah, no, we're going to film with the old amusement park. And I was like, well, where's the Scooby-Doo villain that lets you into this property? Where's anybody here to be like, now don't burn down my amusement park now? If you cut to them just entering the Mary Minor ride, you don't have to explain any of that. You don't have to say any of it. Just like, oh, we're here now. We got it.

It's all finished. I need those introductions. Then you can have like a wily old man be like the Harbinger or Doom or something. Every movie like this needs a crazy Ralph. You're totally right. But yeah, it's the tunnel of terror, and this supposedly is an urban legend about someone went into a tunnel of love kind of thing

and turned out all the people in it were dead. There was dead bodies all in it or whatever, so that's what they're doing. So she is there early. And that's not a real urban life. That's just something we're saying in the description. That I don't know. Wikipedia had it as a real urban legend.

Or they listed like, oh, the urban legends listed in the movie, and that is listed as one. Maybe it's a Canadian one. Oh, yeah, could be a camera. I was wondering if this was more like a Bloody Valentine-esque, like with the mine and the thing.

Oh yeah, oh, totally. Yeah, my Bloody Valentine is all the miners. That her movie. That first movie. I rewatch that this past Valentine's saying. Speaking of Canadian horror movies. Absolutely. Dude, that fucking town, that just dirty ass bar they're in of that movie. There's something about that that I'm like, hell yeah.

Hell yeah. That's simpler times. Not the mining. I don't want to do the mining work. I just want to drink in the scumbag bar. Well, they wouldn't let you if you didn't do the mining. Just a weird drifter. Got to get a little black lung. They'd probably beat you to death in the parking lot.

That's actually probably. And you know what? They'd be right. That's small towns for it. It'd be well within their right to do that. You're right. Hey, that's a fake mining union shirt. So the FX twins are there to sort of dress the set and make it spooky scary beforehand. And Amy is like, hey, Ava Mendez, we're not going to be shooting for like an hour, you know, so why don't you take the crew, go grab a bite and just leave three of us here unsupervised in this abandoned amusement.

One of them is hauling a giant huge titty-da-doll. Yeah, I was like, Anthony Anderson, what are you doing with that in the off hours, man? You brought that from home, didn't you? Yeah, totally. Emma Mendez, go get everybody a rupeer who wants one. I don't want one. A little rush more joke for everybody.

Do you want it? But Joseph Lawrence acting like an asshole here. Because she's like, oh, it's something about like, we're using practical effects. This is not the other thing. And he's like, you didn't consult with me. You fucking do this power trip on me in front of everybody. this is the second time a dude is just screaming at this woman for no reason in this movie.

And he storms off and Travis is going to follow him. Oh, right. We think it's Trevor? Yeah, whichever one is. I think it's Trevor. I think it's Trevor. Yeah, yeah, apologies. Travis is the dead one here.

If we talk to my father, we could have got this digital in 10 minutes. Yeah, exactly. So she's like, okay, I'm going to go take a sort of like a site visit through what you guys have set up. So she gets in a mining cart to go do that. And then this is, dude, the killer takes out. Anthony Anderson right here, this fucking pickaxe and then electrocates him. Brutal. Both of these guys get electrician. I would like to see. A little lazy. Yes, I agree. I would like to see a little more to this.

You know, I want to see that pickax really go into a skull. Really just nail it down there, which I think does happen in my bloody Valentine. Or even a home alone-esque electrocution where he turns into a skeleton for a second. Oh, I would be pretty pretty much. Yes, please. I would always take a skeleton. Yeah, I'm never going to say no to that. The most serious movie imaginable. If you pulled that special effect, I'd be totally fine. Yeah, Lil Hezlov gets more of a Max Shrek type situation. Yeah, it is just a shove, minus the catwoman kiss.

Yeah, not as good, but. But yeah, and then so Amy trips over, Dirk is this other guy, trips over his body there. I like this little moment where she sees the killer coming down a ladder and there's like sort of a safety thing around the outside of the ladder, and she climbs up that and sort of gets the drop on him kind of, which is nice. She fucks it up in like three seconds after she, She gets away from him, though.

Yeah. You know, but that's a nice, like, little moment of tension. I think this is actually, like, pretty successful in the movie. So she gets back up there, and the killer's gone, and the cops are there now. And it just cuts it. It's like, there's two fucking dead kids in there. And where is the owner of this amusement? Like, no one is asking about who, where is fucking Pappy Van Buren that owns this amusement park or whatever?

Well, they're just like, ah, another couple kids just died on a film set. Another day, not the dollar. I'm like, I don't know, man. Like, investigate something. It's the price you. pay for being the cops in the town that houses the world's best film school. There's two kids dead from

electricity and also two of our own died because nobody turned off the electricity. We didn't talk to any, but we just thought we could get it done and two boys. That was our bad, you see. Those fellas are dead. An entire precinct went in before they figured it out. Somebody called

Harrison's wife. Why is nobody coming back up and we sent them down there? And what's that delicious smell? But again, the Hitch Award should now be the Anthony Anderson and Little Grand Haslam Award. Like, come on, right. Yeah, because in the scene prior, and also

classes are canceled. F-Y. Oh, the whole thing, these kids died trying to make this movie. Yeah. The Hitchcock, we are suspending the Hitchcock Award. Yeah. With the suicide, like semester's over. Yeah. Oh, but it's just the film kids. All you economics and community majors, you've got to go

to school. Sorry, math. Loo-Cummiters, you're still coming in. Oh, yeah, commuters, you didn't see nothing. You're coming to school. I will still need your thesis on the Odyssey by the end for the humanities degree. I'm sorry, did you know, Travis? Then your papers do when it's true. Do you have to go to film school to know why the Cyclops is important? Or what?

What's going on here? I'll tell you what, I saw a full-length trailer for that in IMAX yesterday. I probably won't be able to see it and get a ticket till three weeks after it's out, but it looks fucking rad. They're all the monsters and whatnot. Ooh, I haven't seen this trailer. Pretty cool looking. It looks good. But Amy has already suggested to Trevor, like, I think they're killing people associated with making the movie.

And then it's like, oh, wait a second, making my movie. Oh, no, she thinks it's everybody who's up for the Hitchcock Award. That's what it is. And so now she's like, but Dirk and Anthony Anderson, Durk and Stan, they were only softwares. They can't win anything. They're terrible. Well, it's a seniors only thing. And so she's like, so it's not about that.

What could it pop? What is the connection with all these people? Go to sleep, just go to sleep. Go to sleep. This is so weird. Like, you know, we'll figure it out later. Yeah. No, I won't leave you.

Could you? No, I won't leave you. And, you know, I mean, they do the fake out, but it really sets up that this guy's a creep. And it's going to be, he's the killer. Yep, exactly. But they have the sex scene. This dude is showing some ass here. Yeah, the little last shot.

This was a dream. This is a dream scene. It's not actual sex. Yeah, not actual sex. But in the scene. Dream sex. Dream sex. This dude for the dream sex scene is shown his ass.

Yeah. She's in these, here's the thing. If it's a dream sequence, let's get some sexier underpants here. This is just a regular old Wednesday set of underpants. I don't know about this. You can tell it. It says Wednesday on the other. But while they're banging right here, he in this dream sequence, finds a knife under a pillow and stabs her in the back.

This feels like a studio note of like there wasn't a sex scene. Go back, Otman. You get back in there. You make that sexy. Yeah, she can wear granny panties. It's fine. There's just got to be a sex scene, though. Otman, you idiot.

You left out the sex scene. I'm sorry, Mr. Sprocket. Artman, are you telling me there's no kill in the beginning of the movie? You moron get back there and make one. What are you some kind of film composer only? Oh, what? No, yeah, actually, I had Urban Legends, a final cut done about four months after the first urban legend came out.

But I kept on having to go back in, you know, they sent me back in every time. Otman, you incompetent? Yeah, Coggswell Cogs. The studio is going to overtake space lace frockets. Otman, you forgot the security guard from the first movie. Otman, why is he using the same helmet from the Fice movie if he's got no connection to the Fice movie at all?

How are we going to get the fencing community into the theater? And where is Rebecca Gayheart, Artman? There she is. Never mind. I'll take that back. We cut back to, we're in the middle of the night. Amy wakes up from this dream. She sees a light go on in this tower. So she goes down to see what's going on. And there's Ava Mendes

sitting backwards in this chair like a Bond villain and this is like, you're like, oh, okay. Well, Rebecca Gayhart was the killer in the first one, so here we go. But then it's just, the killer has sent Ava Mendes a note pretending to be from Amy being like, I'm fucking into you,

come meet me here, we can 69 on this plastic covered table or whatever. Utman, you didn't have, show them 69 and you, idiot. What do you mean? There's no girl-on-girl kissing in this movie. They both said, no, boss. I don't care. Then use puppets.

Oh, fuck. I'm going to call Peter Jackson and get some of his feebles in here. It cuts to like an Ameliza thing or something. Yeah, sorry, the new King Kong is going to be delayed another year. He'd go do some puppets on this slasher film. Really old John Upman in a lot of favors I did. He was my coat guy back in the last. 80s. But yeah, so she's, you know, you're not into me. Uh-oh, I think you've been set up and

now we're in a slasher thing where you have to run up the thing. It is very funny. Who would do this and a dummy just drops from the ceiling, which is great. But yeah, we do running up all the stairs. I do like, she checks back to be like, are we running for no reason? Oh, no, there he is. You know, instead of the dummy, why not Sandra's body or something? Some did she sit up on the belt tower. We're about to see them all anyway. You're totally right, dude. It needs to be a huge fucking splat right on that table. Utman, what are you doing?

Where's the blood mist? What do you mean you used a temporary dummy as the real thing? It was supposed to be one of the guiles. Are you telling me you don't have a body stash room in this pictures whore movie we're making? You, Ottman? It was supposed to be a body that fell and a splash of blood, and then they would cover it in blood and have to take their blouses off out, out, men.

How are they going to take their shirts off now? Now, Atman, you idiot. He's supposed to be running in bras. He's just doing all this into a tape recorder. And it's just sending it to it. And now the line, that was disgusting. Let's kiss. Doesn't make any sense.

Oh, man. So, yeah, they run up to the bell tower here. And it's like, how do you think it's a joke? What's going on? Killer opens the door, grabs Vanessa. That's Ava's character. Dore. Amy does nothing in this moment. Watches this woman get pulled through a door

and then the door just closes. and only when it closes does she go, hey? I was like, dude, your friend just got kidnapped by the killer. And then we've got our body reveal moment. But the body reveal should also have the third character, Lisa, but she wasn't in the movie yet, so she can't be in the body reveal room. So then you have to think, like, what happened? The fucking dog eat the whole thing?

Like, why is this corpse not here? I'm sorry, I lost the head. Okay. I left and I came around to the alley and the head was gone. I thought it would be there. I think some homeless guy has it. Isn't there like a rat or something in there, too? The dog eats an organ.

No, no, in the body room there's a rat that's moving in between the body. Oh, yes, which I guess means that these, you know, they're aging. They should be able to smell this. Yeah, ripe as fuck. They probably should have smelled that on the staircase. You get that? Should have gagged when she got into that room. Well, yeah, how, excuse me, how did you fold the German man like this?

Yes. Like, what fucking strength do you have, sir? Exactly, yep. To fucking fold him like this. There's IKEA instructions with the European. Door opens. She runs back through. There's Ava Mendez is hanged from the bell tower.

Oh my God, just like Vertigo. They're doing a Vertigo remake on campus. That's what it is. It's a Hitchcock thing. They don't fall off the tower. She gets hanged. It's edgier that way. But so Travis comes up and he's like, hey, forget the three corpses in there.

Let's go to the library real quick. I'll show you something. It's a crazy. like research moment. It needed, yeah, the research should have came before the corpse finding. The corpse finding is the end of the movie. You put the research in the middle of the movie, not the end, you idiot. I told you you couldn't direct, score and edit this thing all by yourself, you dunderhead.

Here, sit me, take this chair, sit down. We're going to watch, I know what you did last summer together. They find the bodies how long before the murderer reveals themselves. Oh, it's three minutes. You fucking idiot. You know what, Otman? Even I still know what you did last summer

more completely made than this. You're going to sit down and watch that too. Yeah, Jack Black, with the dreads. But so then Travis is like, oh, so I was looking up. Trevor this time. Oh, excuse me, yeah, you're right.

It's Trevor. Who would name their kid, Travis and Trevor? Are you too confusing? Psychopaths, who would create psychopaths, who would create psychopaths children. So there you go. But, yeah, it's like, oh, I put all the casting

And it was like, they, you know, they all worked on Travis's film except for you, Amy. And so then she's like, oh, now it's, oh, we're eliminating everybody who made Travis. It worked on Travis's movie, but why? Then they watched Travis's movie. Like, wow, that was really bad. And like, again, there's bodies upstairs. You went to the library and then you watched a movie. Granted, it's a film school thing.

So it's probably 20 minutes tops. But you watched a movie. You want to get a soda, too? They fucking stop for juju-bis before they went to the hospital. But they noticed the credits are spliced so the movie was fake but the credits were real.

It'd be cool. I don't know it would be dumb in real life to do it but like negative scratch out the people you've killed in the end credits. Totally. Yeah.

And that's the director's cut. Yeah. I do like that a lot of the reveal of this, the whole mystery hinges on talking about a chemical splice. You know, if I could

film strip. I think that's kind of cool. But somebody changed the film on Travis's credits. But Anson Mount also worked on the sound. So, uh-huh, it has to be that rotten Anson Mount. Right, because they're like, there's only one guy who's still alive. And it's

Toby's driving off campus and this whole theatrical, like Amy pretending to be a cop and like, that's how they get him to stop. And they take them and tie them up in this moment. Well, she's also got what of campuses readily available incredibly realistic looking fake guns. Just anyone,

we don't even have these locked up or anything. You're going to have to sign a waiver to use them. No, don't need to. Best film school in the world. Don't need to. In a jar like jelly beans. Trevor, of course, has to have the line, looks like you've seen a ghost, Toby.

And then, you know, Hart Bacher comes in, like, what's going on here, guys? And Toby has to admit, like, hey, I didn't do the sound work on the movie, man. Like, Travis just gave me that credit so I could pass the sound class. And I literally did not work on this movie at all. And then it's like, wait, what's going on here? And then, uh-oh, Professor Solomon is the killer.

He shoots Toby through a wall. And that should be the end of Toby, but this movie's chicken shit. I know. It would have been a great end for Toby. It's a nice shot of him flying. It's a super gun shot. Yeah, totally. He got right in the gut with a god killer.

And then, like, this is like your cat and mouse. Well, of course, in all these movies, Hart Bacher, who's been like the nice professor is now give the lady a prize. Yeah. Absolutely. Did you feel, he's talking. Oh, wow, you're twins. That's weird. Twins are oddly connected.

Did you feel something when I blew your brother's brains out? La la la la la. And this is, he reveals that not only. This is such loser's shit. He is going to use Travis's film to not, is he trying to win the Hitchcock Award? Or is he just going to send it directly to Hollywood? He thinks he's going to take credit for this movie, maybe get it in some festivals that'll get picked up, and then he can be a director.

I don't think a 50-year-old man is eligible for the student prize. I really don't think so. I think he's trying to get the Hitchcock Award. Because he's so bitter about it because in this monologue, it's like how some other student won over him. And the deciding vote was Amy's father. They brought in some documentarian. And like, he should be responsible for her father's murder, but he's not. But he's just now, he is now framing his daughter.

And I had the great idea when you came in with your idea for your fucking urban legend horror movie. I wish he killed the father. Yes. That would be so great because then it would be like, who do you think gave those bears PCP? It was me. I mean, your aping scream so hardcore. That's what Billy and Stu did. to Sidney's mother.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Mr. Mayfield, that jacket has urine on it. It totally doesn't. It does not have any urine on it. They're going to go right for him. Joseph Lawrence also shot into a fake grave on this set here, and that dude's character should be dead and lives through this movie. Because he, like, is also, like, trailing the action by, like, five minutes.

Yes. Loretta Devine shows up, and it's like, oh, now I believe everybody. And, like, but the scene starts with her siding with the professor at first. the what's going on and you're like dude come on and i know the screen movies end with gunplay this is too much gunplay for a slasher movie in my opinion the big like four way we're all like a fucking robber rodriguez movie because someone spills the enormous bucket of guns oh no my bucket of guns it's gonna take hours to clean up fucking hart bachner also has the line around here so uh when you when you end up in a lesbo prison yes i will have a three-picture deal okay all right off when you used my lesbo

prison line. Okay, good job. Thank you for listening to one of my notes. A plus on the dialogue, Otman. I'd say Otman, you've done it again, but you've never done anything before, so Otman, you did it. Lesbo prison. What a weird line at the end of this movie.

Now get working on your Lesbo prison movie, which is next on your list. I mean, use a fucking movie, reference caged heat or something, anything, any woman in prison movie. When you're in caged heat, sweet, Breedheart, blah, blah, blah. That's a little hipper than...

I don't know. It's like all of a sudden, listening to your shitty uncle talk. Lesbo? Really? Lesbo? But yes, all the guns are everywhere and everyone's struggling to find the real war.

Oh, God, and everybody's gotten a hold of the bullet treasury. Oh, no. But it's a good thing that we know about Reese's, the security lady's gun being the gold-plated bottom. Precisely. That's why we said it. All right, Art, but you're getting me back here at the end. Winning me over.

But then, yeah, it's like she starts like talking shit and you can see we got the gold planings and she's getting ready to make her move here and it's like, you know, your film was out of focus and you know what they say, those who can't do, teach and she fucking shoots him. Well, there's a

big thing where they, they, they, they, they, he runs at her and like there's a, your classic, you hear the gun go off, you don't know who gets shot. Yeah, it's him. Right. Oh, right. Because it's like a belly shot. Because we can't even have a cool gun shot here. Exactly. Again, like fucking Stu Bokker got shot, that's Dubebocker,

Billy Luma's got shot the fucking head. And he dies. And he dies. And here he lives. Yes, we cut to the Hitchcock Award ceremony. Oh, thank God. It's still going on? I would think it would be canceled. Well, you gotta remember now. It's meta now. This is a movie.

This is a movie scene. Oh. But with all the people that were involved and everything in this movie that we watched and talked about here today, so are all of these people now making this other movie with her in Hollywood? I guess about the events

of what happened and now this is going to be a Hollywood picture. And you got the creepy Scroat PA up in the wings and he's got this fucking sniper rifle ready to go to town and then yet Loretta Devine shoots this dude. There's a big diehard fall and then he lands on a crash pad so you're like movie

I mean okay but sure what? That's more like it Otman. You couldn't get like Seth Green as Scroat like if you're making a real movie here. why'd you get actual scroat? And like then it's like, you see everyone's in on it. Like Joey Lawrence is like her agent now.

Making all sorts of babe deals on the phone. There's a mention. She won't settle for anything but a three picture deal. Anson Mount is like now the humbled. This is like a Bif Tannen gets punched in the face at the prom. And so now like he's the humble guy who's just a production manager, like set manager guy, being all nice about everything. But it's just, it's so fucking weird that it's like.

Like, you got all these people and they're in the scene of your movie. Also, it needs to end with like, you know, we're talking three picture deals and whatever, but like big shot, you know, wide shot of where we are and it's not the campus. You're on a studio lot. Yeah. That should be the last thing. It's a big Warner Brothers soundstage kind of thing. It's the end of get surety.

That's fine for me. Yeah, exactly. But then all this is going on and, you know, ants and mounts nice, Lawrence, the age, and all that stuff. And then the screens sort of turn. and you're like, wait, this looks like it's on a screen itself. And it backs out. And it's in a mental institution

where Hart Bockner has been watching the end of this movie. Uh-huh. So he saw the line that was, wait, they left it in. Like, so they, oh man, I'm so embarrassed they left my Lesbo prison line in the movie. But no, they like, they like. This documentary about me.

But being like, the agent saying three-picture deal. Yes, yeah. Is that in the movie? Is that in the movie? What is happening? Great question. Exactly.

It's just, it's so weird. But hey, we get Alfred Hitchcock Presents while he's being wheeled back to his crazy house. Rebecca Gayhart is a nurse and it's like, oh, you and I have a lot in common. We'll set up a third movie that'll be supernatural and neither of us will be in. Precisely, yeah. But yeah, I am always a sucker if you want to put the funeral march with Mary Anneth on anything. I love that little tune. I used to watch Hitchcock Presents all the time as a kid.

So I really like that. And it's actually the best directed scene in the movie because it's, It's like we're actually tracking the wheelchair. The cinematography really kind of comes alive in the last 20 seconds of this movie. There's a moment in the middle of this movie when she's running and like she's worried about, you know, who could it be? And like she sees all the people and all that stuff. It's very usual suspects. Like the dialogue falling on top of each other one after another because he edited that movie.

Because she's jogging and that's what I was like, dental plan. Because it is kind of that. Yes. Well, I was going to win the Hitchcock from him. What the fuck? Let's talk my fucking cock, motherfucker. I won the Hoccock fucking a war. But yeah, that's just a weird sort of stinger

on the end of this movie, and that's the end of it. But go around the horn here for some final thoughts and recommendations, Mr. Siska. No, not for me. Didn't really work for me. I mean, the first one apparently wasn't memorable either for me. No, I just feel like this doesn't... It's almost a good idea,

but then it just falls apart at every single goddamn turn. And I really had a frustrating time trying to make hide nor hair of it. Well, Chris Cabin. Yeah, it's a no. Like, there's some good kills to it. And, like, there's a trashiness to it that I do appreciate up to a point. But the story makes so little sense when you actually have to, like, pay attention to it that I just got infuriated the whole time. Whereas, like, the first time I watched this while I was high and not paying attention to anything but the kills, I was like, hey, this is pretty good.

This time when I actually had to, like, put the pieces together, like, oh, oh, no. Oh, boy. Okay, no. Just watch Peeping Tom. Yes. Oh, my God. Watch Peeping Tom. There's a lot of movies that this references that you can watch. Even watch the first urban legend, I would say, is a more put-together movie than this. Yeah, this is not a movie to watch with a notepad.

No. No, no, no, no, no. It's, no, it's a light no for me as well. Like, I think that there are some fun kills. None of the characters make any sense. None of the things make any sense. And it's just, because I'm a sucker for an aughts horror slasher movie. like this is like my bag in terms of like a movie I could just pop on. Valentine.

I do the same thing with Valentine. Can have fun. What's their faces in that movie too? We just, you just have fun and just watch these movies. So it's fun enough in that way, but it's just, it's a bottom of the barrel of this kind.

Like this is like up there with West Craven's cursed and or soul survivor, you know? You should be drunk when you watch. Exactly. Umando. Disagree on this being the same level as soul survivor because that is one of the worst movie.

I'm talking about my soul to take. My Soul to Take it. Whatever that final... Oh, my Soul To Take is an awful movie. Soul Survivor is the Eliza Dushku other one that there's like... Oh. It's the same era...

West Bentley. West Bentley's in it. Yes, okay. I don't know that I've seen it. They're all bad. They're all bad. Whatever that movie West did before Scream 4. Ooh, that would be sucks.

I thought that's what you were talking about. That's a fucking terrible movie. I will say, and I think maybe, I don't know, it's because I watched... Speaking of Od's horror, Dracula 2, Ascension, and then Dracula 3, whatever the fuck? Like, just a...

couple weeks ago. Sure. Friends, that is the bottom of the barrel of what we were talking about in this era of horror. The Dracula 2000 sequels?

Yes, the Dragon 2000 sequels. Not Dragon 2000. I think that is on a higher level than what those sequels are. So those aren't sequels to the Bella Lagosi film. No, no, unfortunately. But I don't think this is a masterpiece,

but I had fun with it. Yes, I think you're right, Steve, sitting down with a notepad to be like, and the next thing that happens is is not a great way to watch this movie. It's not a great way to watch, I would argue, 90% of Slop. pleasure films.

Because you sit there and go, well, none of this makes sense because it's a shitty horror movie. But there was enough there that sort of keeps me going. I do think the first one is better. This is not to reference scream. And I got it, by the way, situation. But that is going to do it for this episode

on Urban Legends Final Cut. If you want more, we hate movies, including episodes of WHM completely commercial free. Head over to that Patreon. Patreon.com slash we ate movies. We ate movies where this month we had a we love movies all about Star Wars, episode 7, The Force Awakens.

That was a lot of fun. We recently dropped a Pope's Exorcist video and audio show on our top level. Check that out. We had a really great Melro 210 last week. Oh yeah. College years are getting going folks. Brenda is back, you know, much to some people's chagrin. And then, of course, in Melrose Place, we're done with baby kidnapping straight onto cancer. Straight from one to the other, you know, it goes like that. Great episodes. So from something hilarious to something totally sad.

This is a big week, though, here for the Patreon. Yesterday we did release an episode on too old for this shit, covering Daredevil Born Again Season 2, which was a lot of fun. If you're listening to this on the day, it comes out, which is indeed May the 19th, Steve. Tomorrow, we got a nice rocking animation damnation on its way. We do.

We're continuing the Star Wars thing. We did Darth Mall Shadow Lord. Talking about them Dave Filoni joints. Yeah. And then Mr. Siska, this Thursday, of course, the group glossary continuing. Yes, we're talking about Django Fet, the original shiny Mandalorian.

So there it is. The OG shiny guy. And tonight, if you're listening to this on the day it comes out May the 19th, we will be doing an after dark hang for our top tier Patreon subscribers. Oh, yeah. You can ask us anything.

Literally anything, dude, anything goes. Top tier. That's right. That is 8 p.m. Eastern this evening. Of course, you can get the replay after the fact, but it's a lot of fun to be there in the room with us. And then this Friday jam-packed week here, y'all. This Friday, we are book-ending the week

with another edition of Tool for this shit covering the Punisher colon, one last kill. So Johnny Bernthal, he's got his fucking skull suit on. He's fucking better. He better be wearing it a significant amount. Or space sleep sprockets going to call him up. Oh, Bernthal! But as always here on We Hate Movies, of course,

the show rolls on next week. Steve Sadek next Tuesday. Where are we going? Clear your calendar. It's going to be a long one. We're talking about the rise of Skywalker. You know what? Maybe it'll be sure. Maybe we'll be too frustrated to go too long.

Yeah, it might be it. Yeah, just heavy sighing the whole time. About two and a half hours of heavy sighing. That's impressive. So until next week, when we see how much annoyed sighs we have come out of our mouths, I've been Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Cisca.

Chris Cabin. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare. Sometimes that is better. Time to keep your appointment with the Wickham. They're coming to get you, Barbara. It's using one too many movies.

Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. For a creative. An excellent day for an exorcism.