We Hate Movies - S16 Ep868: War of the Worlds (2005)
Episode Date: June 9, 2026“[Ryan] Gosling ate this dude’s lunch” - Andrew, on Justin Chatwin On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza keeps the Spielberg chatter going from last week with a hilario...us talk about his 2005 sci-fi adaptation, War of the Worlds! Couldn’t we have had some puppet aliens instead of those CGI guys? How fantastic is Tim Robbins playing this basement-dwelling lunatic? Should the boy have stayed exploded? How many of us would rather just turn to dust in this situation? And would this movie have been better with Eric as an extra? PLUS: Everyone say hi to Ray Ferrier’s new Bayonne, New Jersey girlfriend, Cigaretta! World of the Worlds stars Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto, Rick Gonzalez, Yul Vazquez, Lenny Venito, Lisa Ann Walter, and Tim Robbins as Harlan Ogilvy; directed by Steven Spielberg.This episode is brought to you by ZVOX and their line of dialogue-boosting speakers and sound bars! Our listeners save 20% on any new soundbar when using our code: WHM!Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, gang, before we get to today's episode on Seniors, Spielbergos War of the Worlds from 2005,
just wanted to pop in real quick to remind you this August.
We're going to go play in the desert, y'all.
We're hitting up Vegas for STLV.
That's right.
Three nights, three movies, one epic experience.
That's right.
We are bringing our show The Nexus live on the stage at the world's biggest Star Trek convention,
August 6th, August 7th, and August 8th.
We're talking three nights in a row.
Our favorite Star Trek movies, Star Trek, the Rath a Con,
Star Trek Generations and Star Trek First Contact
in that order. Tickets are on sale now.
It's going to be a lot of fun. All shows are happening
at STLV. Again, like I said,
the biggest, most badass Star Trek convention
in the world. They're celebrating 60 years of Star Trek.
We're celebrating 10 years of the Nexus. The cool thing is
if you want to come see these shows, we want to see you there. And if you don't have a
convention pass, that's totally okay. These tickets are
separate. So you can come to Vegas, hit up some casinos, walk around the
strip, get some great food. Come see the shows. It's going to be a bangor time.
y'all, it's our first time in Vegas.
We want to make a real sweet impression on these folks.
So head over to our website, WHMpodcast.com.
Click on that tour page.
We got links all over the website where you can go to purchase the tickets.
Three nights of laughs, three nights of Star Trek love.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Join us this summer.
All right, that's it.
Now let's get into it.
Those tripods are coming out of the ground.
We're talking war of the worlds.
Enjoy.
The line must be drawn here.
This far, no farther.
This week on the program.
You know, the four of us are here hiding in a wet,
eerie basement to talk about war of the worlds. I'm Andrew Jupin. Did you redo noise, Steven Sadek?
Wet Eric Siska. 16 years of a podcast and you would think maybe the robots are taking over.
But no. Hi, Chris Cabin. And we hate movies.
Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine podcast as always.
If you're finding us for the first time because your big senior Spiolberg, go ahead.
We'll come on in. The water's fine. We just take movies, kind of good, better, otherwise.
poke him around a little bit. This one's kind of right
down the middle. War of the World's from 2005
directed, of course, by the aforementioned
Steve Spielberg, written, uh, co-written
by Josh Friedman and David Kemp released
June the 29th, 2005.
It's good.
Whoa. It's okay.
You can't tell which one
this is. We all know who it is.
It's a really good one.
Loves this movie. I tend to think of this
as Spielberg like with training.
It's like slow pitch down the middle.
I think for me, it was funny last night,
I've been like anti this movie for a long time
And I was like I've only seen it once
So rewatching it was the first time in 21 years
And then I was like oh shit I'm wrong
Because the beginning is so great
Yeah
And what happened was I accidentally watched
The same movie twice the same way
Which is it's really exciting
When it's really exciting
And then narratively it runs out of gas
And then it just
It leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth
So I'm exactly where I was right 20 years ago
It's just like oh wow this is oh it's okay
I don't know I'm not even saying it's bad
I'm just saying like it could be better.
It just needs something at the end.
The characters need to grow.
Maybe the kid needs to die.
The kid definitely needs to die.
This kid needs to be fucking...
Nothing happens to this family during this, by the way.
And does Tom even grow at the end?
I mean, that's what I think is interesting about the movie is that it's about Tom Cruise
essentially coming to grips with the fact that he's not a good dad.
Right.
Like that's the whole line of the movie is that at the beginning he's like, no, I can do this.
Of course I can save my kids from the great apocalypse
And the whole movie is him learning
No, you, to do that you have to kill people
You have to do these terrible fucking things
That are like, do you really want to do this?
And he's like, no, here, go to with your mom.
Absolutely go with your mom.
I'm out of the family now.
I'm not there.
Go bother the army, that's fine.
I don't care.
Chris's character in this movie reminds me of that line in, oh, hello,
where I think it's John Lanny's character's like,
I love my daughter.
I just talked to her last year.
That's the way this Doudreux Ferrier
Would totally prefer it
If you just saw these rotten ass kids
And I get it man
You take a look at these fucking kids
Yeah, once a year more than fine
Brent whatever Justin Thwaites or what's this kid's
Justin Chathwin
Apparently there was a Dragon Ball Z movie
There was
He played Goku in
Yeah, that's stay tuned
Yeah I'm like what where is this?
Why haven't we done this?
Oh it gets requested all the time
Almost every year
All the time
Maybe I just assume that it's like an animated movie.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's real.
It's a real thing.
I saw the poster.
It looked hideous.
Chatwin was in that, it's like a pseudo-horror movie,
anything called The Invisible.
I just watched that movie for the first time a couple weeks ago.
It's awful.
Real bad.
It's a state of a movie that David Kep directorial.
It is.
It absolutely is.
Gothic.
That, a few other things.
He's, I believe, the boyfriend in the first couple seasons of the American
Shameless, Emmy Rosum.
boyfriend, I believe, in the first couple
seasons. I will say it's good son
casting. He looks enough like Cruz to be
his son. It's totally fun. I realize
the thing what happened with this guy, because he's a
Canadian actor, I guess
now slash like outdoorsman
kind of dude.
Because fucking Gosling
ate this dude's lunch. That makes sense.
Gosling kind of shuffled in and was like,
hello, other handsome Canadian
actor here. Bye.
Much more personality.
Like, I'm just sorry. He just has it.
got that magnetism that this kid does not.
By the way, you guys might not believe this, but I turned down a chance to be in this movie.
Really?
Really?
Yes, because I worked crew in the Hudson Valley for many years during college, and this was shooting when we were in college.
And I was at Purchase at the time, they shot this in like the fall or whatever.
I was someone asking me to come to be an extra during the ferry seat.
Oh, cool.
And I think I was working at Conan O'Brien the next day or something.
So I was like, I'm not huffing all the way to Athens, New York, near Hudson.
You could have been flesh dust.
Dude, I would love.
I would have been a fat blur in the corner that no one saw and I knew it.
Maybe Lisa and Walters would have elbowed you in the elbowed in the chest.
You know what I mean?
Might have been lucky.
But there was such a big call because they wanted as many people as possible.
And they were shooting it at night.
It was a lot of work to be an extra.
A lot of hoops to go through.
I'd like no money.
That Lisa and Walter pop up, it's so like clearly there is a deleted scene from earlier in the movie.
Because she's credited on IMDB as bartender.
So there's something where he goes to some shit-ass bar in Bayonne or something,
and she's behind them, because she just comes up like, oh, hey, Ray, it's me.
Like, we're supposed to know who she is in the movie.
Damn, now I wish I had the, the, I wonder if the Blu-ray has deleted scenes.
Is Massest Tavern in there?
Maybe they've, maybe they just forgot in this, she's supposed to be the Amy Ryan character.
Because En-Ryme's barely in this for no reason.
She's credited, well, because she wasn't a famous actor at the time.
It's Amy Ryan.
You should know, Spielberg.
Come on now.
What are you talking about?
Come on.
Gone, baby, gone.
I haven't happened yet.
I guess that's true.
So she is credited as neighbor with baby.
Neighbor with baby.
I think that this, it kind of gets to where I want to start, which is the Tom Cruise of it all as a dock worker.
He needs a shitty girlfriend.
If he has a shitty girlfriend and like, you know, the kids are coming over, but I got Miranda last night.
Like that would be nice to my girlfriend's cigarette.
Exactly.
If you had beautiful cigarette, like, oh, you got the kids this weekend.
It would be perfect because it.
Again, like I mentioned before, this dude lives in Bayonne, New Jersey.
And he's a doc.
He just doesn't fit a dock worker from Bayonne, New Jersey.
The haircut's too hip.
The jacket's too nice.
He's way too physically fit.
Look at all the other guys he's working with.
But if he's dating Cigoretta by chance,
now I'm like, okay, he's in the milieu, you know what I mean?
Because Cigarette's brother probably got him the job.
He used to be like an English teacher or something, fell on hard times.
Oh, yeah, eat out my ass tray, you son of a bitch.
move that container
this is my boyfriend Ray
yeah he's a piece of shit
but I love him
why you leave it
what are you a talk
we just got here
what I'm dust
are you gonna do two things buddy
you're gonna do that paper day
and you're gonna be nice
to cigarette when she comes over
for lunch
she's bringing prosciutto
from the good deli okay
see the thing is that
the cigarette is not gonna get you
what you want to because
the Hollywood cigarette
is Blake lively
from like the town
it's like some like absolutely
smoke
you got Amy Ryan and Lisa
Lisa and Walter, either of them could have made
a convincing cigarette.
Here's the thing, Chris.
It's not a she-ed character.
A little bit.
By the power of Grace Cole, my shitty girlfriend's coming over.
By the power of Newport.
See, but that's the thing.
Chris, she can totally be a smoke show.
She's just got a sound like
maybe a fucking tit job she loves telling people about.
She's talking about her uncle.
Like, anytime someone talks aggressively about
their uncle and smokes cigarettes, you're like,
all right.
We're going out to dinner.
Yeah, that means the pizzeria where we order pasta.
We sit down to the pizzeria and order pasta.
Friday, we get pizza from the pizzeria,
but Saturdays we go to the pizzeria and it's bake ziti.
Ray, Ray, what do you want for me?
Chili's bad smoking.
I thought this was America.
I can't even smirking chilies anymore.
Oh, your ex-wife gets so big.
because she's pregnant.
I'm smoking cigarettes in the doorway.
The door is open.
The door is open.
All right.
Just get me a couple of Fetuccini-A-Fraido
egg rolls.
And then we'll be set to go.
And then I'll put my Stogey out, okay?
No, I'm not smoking on the porch.
This is my boyfriend's hairs.
By the way, when you see a play on an egg roll in a restaurant,
run.
My sister, the only time she was a waitress,
she was a waitress in the Bronx
in a little Chinese-slash-ital-Fugian.
place in like 1991
before we were doing any of that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I need you to clarify.
Is it fusion or is it Chinese
on one half of the menu and Italian on the other?
That's the second one. Okay. And it was called
Fruta de Mare. And it was just, yeah.
Yeah, didn't work out there.
Because it was like just like.
Permanently closed?
Very much so, but the health department.
Was it a, like,
they had a grasp on one half of the
cuisine and the other, they was like, you should order
Chinese food is what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Yep.
It's the fruit of the dumpster.
How do you put that in French?
Not the C.
By the way, you were saying Tom Cruise got a miscast as a dock worker.
You know who's perfectly cast, too perfectly cast.
Morgan Freeman is narrator.
Oh, yes.
Stop with this, the March of the Penguins were doing?
I think this was right.
The same year, wasn't it?
I think this is right before it became obvious and annoying.
You know what I mean?
It's pretty close to obvious and annoying, but I think this is right at the beginning of it.
But it's 0-506 is March of the Penguins.
But it's also so short of a narration at the start in the end.
Like, I don't know.
Could I've gotten like, I don't know, someone on the radio telling me this?
I don't know.
And for some reason, the effects hold up in this movie fantastically.
Oh, yeah.
But this fucking amoeba in the beginning looks like dog shit.
Dude, this is the, okay, we talked about it on a minority report, which was Steven Spielberg 2002.
Now this is Steven Spielberg, 2005.
That dude is still watching X-Men movies.
Yes, yes.
By the way, minority report, our episode of that is on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash we hate movies.
Available now.
It's right.
I'm not buying Patreon.
I ain't gonna do the time.
I'll just skip through the commercials.
Doesn't one of your friends have it, Ray?
Can he just send me the file?
Download it on my laptop.
And I'll listen to it there, Ray.
Fuck, I forgot my Yahoo password.
Now I'm just picturing cigarette
driving around in a Honda Civic
with an open laptop playing the podcast.
I wait, stop.
Ray, pull over.
I got to charge it at one of those stations in the middle of the street.
I'm watching the man doing Groku on my jail broke fire stick.
It's got Russian subs, but it's pretty good.
Yeah, I know this charging booth is for e-bikes, but can you charge my laptop?
I'm trying to listen to a show.
It's all electricity, stupid.
It went up.
It went up 1%.
We're up 3% now.
We got charged.
And then this Tom being like, I love her so much.
He's a real demon.
in the sheets, probably.
You respect cigarette.
That is, you young man.
Yeah, but so Morgan Freeman.
We've been watched and observed and studied for years.
Men went to and fro about this world,
not knowing that secret aliens had planted weird tripod things on the ground
supposedly millions of years ago.
And they are just going to obliterate our ass.
Slowly and surely, the aliens drew their plans against us.
Real slowly, by the way.
Really playing the long con here, you know?
Total long con.
Absolutely.
They're like, let's just wait for them to fuck the environment just enough.
But before it gets too bad.
We really...
Because the actual thing they have to do doesn't take too long as we see.
That's a...
What, it's a long week?
This is, like, what, a blood harvesting plot?
Yeah.
I mean, I know it's kept vague, and I know the book and the radio is different.
But, like, the plot in this is, all right, we blow up almost everyone.
We suck a few guys off in girls, obviously.
You can get their blood up to the...
Get some blood plants going, dude.
The tripod.
Put a few in a cage for walking people.
That's your walking snack.
Yeah, exactly.
But I don't know.
Maybe a camp.
I want to see more.
What I like...
Yeah, and I totally get that, but what I like about it,
and you mentioned, like, you know,
Morgan Freeman narration versus, like,
why didn't someone on the radio say something?
Much like the book, I do love that this is just...
You're with the character, and you know as much as the character.
character knows because I love like I think it's when they're walking to the ferry and you have all
those different people being like oh I heard Europe's destroyed oh I heard Europe got it
I do like that I do appreciate that and this sort of fits your one crazy night thing you like
it kind of does fit my one crazy day one crazy long weekend yeah with Tim Robbins it's a real
crazy night but it's also it's also to the 9-11 point that's very much how this felt you know
what I mean I heard Europe is destroyed any number of fucking crazy shit that you were thinking about
when you were living through that moment.
And I think it pairs very nicely
with Munich in that way, which is a more thoughtful
consideration of the history
of terrorism where this is all coming from.
This is much more like this is what it's like
in the shit, buddy.
And I think it works like hell.
Yeah.
Munich gets, that's, that I think is the thing,
is like Munich gets as dark as Spielberg's gonna get.
Like that's maybe his darkest movie
in terms of just like.
There's also Schindler's list, but yeah.
Yeah, but I mean, like even there's hopefulness
in these other stuff.
And like the fuck the pain away thing
about the end of Munich is very, it's a dark ending.
You know what I mean? I think that that's,
we could, fuck you is the end of the movie.
I mean, literally, the end of the movie is
Jeffrey Riss saying, fuck you. This ending
could have been darker is kind of where I'm thinking.
Obviously, the kids should be dead.
It takes out of the wind out of the
sales of that scene. Why did I even see it?
Okay, so the entire, we'll get there,
but the entire ridge explodes in a
fireball, all the Marines are dead,
and magic, boy, I guess he's Goku.
I didn't realize he's Goku.
He was Goku the whole time. He flew away, he's
Goku.
Goku can fly, right?
Now, be careful.
I believe so.
I'm the only one of the four of us that have not seen that movie yet.
So just, what movie?
Goku.
I thought you were saying Grogu.
No, no.
Jesus Christ.
No, he's Goku.
Yeah, he's, I believe he could fly a really high anime jumping, which amounts to flying, I believe.
And these guys are, it's not in the Pokemon world.
No.
Do you, Dragon Ball Z?
Dragon Ball Z.
And I believe James Marsters is in that.
bad movie. Oh, now I do know
that that movie exists because I remember that
there's like a photo of him and I was
like, go. Well, because they tried, they
also tried to sweep that one when everybody
was reconsidering Speed Racer
because it has a similar look to it kind of.
Everybody was trying to sweep that one.
Like, this is also good and you're like,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, no, you watch that.
I tell you watch that right there. You're log on to X
and they'll be saying any movie is good.
Like literally anything is a new
masterpiece. Yeah, there's all
kinds of idiots on the, on the X.
He's a dock worker doing big dock stuff moving shipping containers that may or may not be full of ludicrous people inside of it.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
It's slowed up because of the straight of her moves now.
They do make a point.
He is a specialist.
He can get 40 of these fuckers down on their locks in an hour.
That is so hilarious.
This boss is like begging him to work overtime because he's the best.
Like, I got no one else.
I can move 40 containers at that amount of time.
It's like, well, then train your dudes better.
I expected him like halfway through the film to have to use those powers to get like something out of one of those game machines.
Oh, nice.
He's his claw machine skill.
The claw machine.
On the road, that would be a good one.
See, that it's a, or he has to, he lures the gleep-glops to the dock station and gets in the thing and then uses the claw to fight the tripod.
And he drops a container of fentanyl on them.
Yeah.
You don't.
And then six miles away, a bunch of cops pretend to pass out.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, wait.
No, this is not human remains.
This is fent.
Sorry, they look the same.
But if he's using that claw, maybe this alien's got Dakota Fanning and he gets to stay away from her, you bitch, in there.
Now we're having fun.
Oh, there we go.
Now we're ripping off.
All we're off is.
I'll say, we'll all say stuff that we're, oh, here's what they should have done.
It'll still make it bad.
They're still.
Oh, none of it's cool.
These are still bad ideas that I'm saying specifically.
But he's got his kids this weekend, which it's a little unclear how long the layoff is between, because he's got the house made up.
But, like, it's clear like the kids.
kid the boy has outgrown whatever his side of the room is kind of a thing how long what's been
going on like how long is it since the last visit of seeing the kids or like i haven't seen you since
christmas or you you missed my birthday these kinds of thing the wife has a line that it's like i think
they've outgrown that sharing that one bedroom yes exactly because this kid jacket well she's seen
this good jacket off like nonstop is that right well he's fucking 16 exactly and his mom is miranda
auto look out oh jesus my own mother uh so yeah you know uh much like
a bridge troll. He lives right under the Bayonne Bridge,
which is great. And yeah, we're dropping off. It's the mom and then
Tim, the stepdad, this guy with like three hands. Who's this other guy? I couldn't
place him. Three cheers for Tim. The smartest divorced man I've seen
on screen. He is staying out of the way of
everything. I'll wait outside. Smart boy.
My God, what a smart boy.
While turning his children against him.
Yes. And a complete, like, making the Boston fans because he's from
Boston. Don't get in the way.
of the guy making the mistakes.
Tim knows what's up
because nothing but making mistakes
on the fucking Tom Cruise front.
He just fucking stays away from it.
Just run out that clock, Tim.
They'll get banned from seeing him eventually.
This is David Allen Bash.
He was in a complete unknown.
He's in United 93.
A lot of posts down.
He's around.
He's around.
I thought he was maybe a dude
that had possibly dated Elaine Venice at one time.
Oh, definitely that's possible.
It looks like one of those guys.
He's fungworthy.
I'd let him hit.
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Let's get listening.
Ahead of this.
Remember of Tim,
because so other movies,
which I give credit to Spielberg and Kep for this,
which is it's the divorced family during the apocalypse,
and the big triumphant other guy
that's raising your kids
that gets killed either heroically or cowardly,
and it moves mommy and daddy back together,
which I'm glad that does not happen in this movie.
I think it's, credit to this movie.
It's a huge.
huge thing for Spielberg to like it's not
about that family reuniting.
At the end, it has nothing to do. He's outside
still. It's actually about him being
like, no, I have a new life. I'm not
this person anymore. The best thing though is
the two like his former
in-laws at the end is like we do
learn all about how like Miranda
Otto's parents don't think shit about
Tom Cruise's character, whatever. And then it's like
I saved your fucking granddaughter
morons. Look at the eat
shit. But see, so
he's doing whatever.
There's just a lot of stuff about like, I guess they're like babying, Dakota Fanning.
That's the whole suitcase bit.
Like, she can carry it.
It's like kind of half and half.
Well, here's the thing.
Everybody's kind of wrong.
We're all going off about how fucking great Tim is, by the way.
He sits there and watches his pregnant wife pull a suitcase out of him.
That's a really good thing.
Wow, man, chivalry, huh?
Look at this.
Well, you know you're not supposed to like Tim.
He's wearing a turtleneck.
There's just no universe you're supposed to like Tim in this thing.
I mean, how could you?
And he's also like, oh, you're driving this nice safe car you got here, Tim.
I'm like, you're driving the asshole mobile fucking Tom.
This thing.
This is what he's picking up cigarette in.
Exactly.
He's got a good car.
It's a midlife crisis car that Tom Cruise has this like muscle car or whatever.
Tim has a responsible SUV or mini vending or whatever this fucking thing is because he's got actual.
He's raising your two kids and he's got another on the way.
Yeah.
I will say, I think it's appropriate for this character because he's clearly like a car guy.
He's got car shit all over the house.
So I don't know if it's a midlife.
That's like a rich dude buys
like a fucking Lamborghini because he's 50
and once whatever. It's still a rich
car. I kind of wait.
That again, I think the girlfriend would
solidify this. It would.
Like, you know, there's something that's way too young.
Like even, not even cigarette, but like
some 22 year old girl that's
like hanging around Tom Cruise and Meredana's like
well, she seems nice. Like what of those
kind of deals? You know what I mean? Oh, where'd you
find her? Well, or is he
sexless in this by the way. Yes, he is.
I mean, if we saw him work
on the car. If that was more
of what it was all about, like, all you see is the
fucking engine in the middle of the fucking, like,
oh, I'm supposed to eat pizza, pizza next
to this fucking grease thing. Great.
Which also, don't you know your kids are coming
this weekend? Oh, but dude, he definitely
forgot because he doesn't think about them kids.
When he russes up the stairs
to close that bedroom door. You know,
it's like you see the bed's messy, but
you know there's a mountain of pornography. Exactly. Yeah,
you didn't see the loose pornography just out of
the door frame. Bucats of porn.
The door closed. What are you closing the door?
for a lot in here.
Did I just hear someone in there?
No.
Quiet cigarette, quiet.
That's the aliens.
What aliens?
They're coming.
I love it when you come home from work smelling like that sucks.
Calm down.
My kids are here.
Oh, hello, Robbie.
You're getting older than Robbie.
Boy, it looks like I'm not the only one in the house smoking right now.
Ray, you should give him some of your adult magazines.
The boy needs some help.
Got a loin someday, Ray.
Ray, get me some of that cocaine.
You're smuggling to the containers to buy that fucking car.
Or he's married to a woman that was rescued from one of those containers.
Oh, nice.
There you go.
Hello, Robbie.
Looks like I'm not the only one smoking in the house right now.
Yeah, and Tom Cruise is like, yeah, who saved who?
I mean, she saved me.
She's a rescue, but she saved me.
We get the most douche-ch-chilled game of kids.
catch ever between a father and son.
And dude, Tom Cruise going for the face
whipping this fucking fastball at this kid.
It's a good, this is a good,
even though I think he's miscast or I would just change
some stuff about the character. I think he's good
in this movie, especially as asshole dad.
Like, because he used to have asshole face, as I've said
a couple of times on this show, like way back, like his first
color of money had asshole face, the whole movie.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's bringing it back
in this a little bit, especially during this scene with
the fucking, where the Boston
hat and he's just like really whipping it at this kid it's a real dickhead move i mean yes and but the kid
you know it's a deliberate affront to his father yeah who's a big yankees fan by where and like i guess
the mother's from boston that's where that's where they run to yeah because that's what the parents
live yeah so maybe it's it's he's the son's deliberately taking sides i get why sure and i also
get why tom cruz is frustrated but to destroy your own window what are you thinking well just i mean
to prove you're willing to go that far, I think, is Tommy's whole point.
He doesn't intentionally destroy his own window.
He throws a fastball at his son's face and the son dodges it,
ratcheting it up like that.
He knows where he's going with.
You're an asshole.
It's why I hate coming here.
Is that why you always act like such a dick, says Tom Cruise.
My argument is, don't throw at the house.
There's a perfectly other, there's a horizontalness to the yard you could throw.
You wouldn't throw it at that car, though.
The window.
If it was there.
Yeah.
Well, because the guys, he cares about the car more than the kid.
It's not a mystery.
He hates these kids.
Fuck them kids.
Well, it's good.
Even more so, like, he just sees his kids and it's like, he whips this fucking ball.
The kid storms off.
We're calling him Ray.
We're using it.
We're not saying dad.
We're calling him Ray.
That's good.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
And Dakota Fan is like, what are we going to eat?
And he's like, order something.
Here we go.
She orders the hummus.
And it's like, he's had hummus.
He's had hummus.
I'm sorry.
Like, you live just outside.
York City.
Yes.
You not only have you had it before, you definitely know what it.
He's like, what are you eating there?
It's like fucking hummus dip shit.
It's not made of hamburger.
Why isn't this made of hamburger?
And it's also the health food store.
And again, like, that dude's fucking top cruise, ladies and gentlemen.
He's had health food before.
He's only shopping at the health food store.
Yes.
You can't be a dock worker that looks like that and eat at the place where dock workers
normally eat.
We need like a big fat guy in this role or something.
Like someone that you could see being this character.
Well, you know who's, he wasn't yet, he wouldn't be famous for many years.
But in a deleted scene, apparently, according to IMDB, is David Harbor.
Yeah.
That's a dude who believably works at the docks.
You know what I mean?
It was pretty stranger thing, so I'm sure he was a little huskier, let's say, you know what I mean?
Like, looking like a dude that works at the fucking docks in Brooklyn.
And then he's like, what's hummus?
I kind of believe that.
But Tom Cruise being like, what's hummus?
I'm like, okay.
Oh, also great, great, 2005.
50 meter right here when Dakota
is like, you know, dad,
you should really get TiVo.
Tim got me TiVo for my room and it's awesome
and I was like, TiVo.
Oh, Tivo.
Wow.
And then like his line of like, yeah, I'll just put
on my platinum card.
I think Tom Cruise has a platinum card.
David Harbor, I don't know.
Okay.
Is it the character or is it Tom Cruise?
Come on.
I do think there should be like he was a disgraced
English professor and this is the only
job that he could find at the time.
Again, due in part to
Cigarette's uncle, who's the foreman
or whatever. Now we've got a rich
backstory going here.
But this is after Tom Cruise. Because Tom Cruise, by the way,
we got to mention, has worked like an overnight
shift. And he's dealing
with all the shit with these kids and the ex-wife
and her new husband all before he's
going to sleep. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.
And then he does the, you know you're fucking dead
on your feet, dude. He's sleeping in jeans.
It's grotesque.
You've also taken off like your
shirt and your shoes at that point.
You're not drunk. I know you're tired, but take
those jeans off. You can't be sleeping in jeans.
Get fully naked.
Just ripping out. Now, with the kids in the house
if something goes wrong, you know, oh, dad, dad.
Oh, fuck my fucking. That's true. That's actually true.
You got to run fast. You don't want your pee-foppy
cock. No, you do not.
They're humiliating. You don't want to Tim to see
that. Oh, he'll get so much mileage off of that.
Tim. We'll live another five years
off that shit. Are you serious?
So he wakes up and there's all this
crazy lightning and cloud
formation stuff going on outside and Tim has, or Tim, Robbie the son, has stolen the muscle car
and gone out for a joyride somewhere and it's just a little Dakota Fanning eating her hummus here.
Robbie will watch Batman forever the night before. That's what Robin does in the middle of the movie.
So obviously it makes sense. It's why we would do that. Does he do the mop thing in the laundry
room too? He does a bad Latin accent while he's in the car. But yeah, this is where we have
Amy Ryan as neighbor with toddler. Everybody's going out in the backyard looking up at the
formation here. I do love a lightning strike happens and man, I had a problem on minority report
with Tom Cruise using the F word, but he is really good with his delivery of the word shit.
Yeah. And there's a lightning strike that happens and he's got a really superb. Holy shit.
And the sound design is fantastic. And I think again, most, if not all the effects really, really
hold up in this movie. I just here's my question. We can talk about it more when we get there,
though. Like, why did the Gleap Glop's have to be CGI? Yeah. That's the one that build me puppets. That's all.
I don't even know why we see them.
It's like one scene, right?
It's not a lot.
Like, do I even bother at that point?
They look very,
and they also look very Independence Day-esque,
you know what I mean?
Like that's a similar head.
And that whole scene,
I mean,
we'll get to with the seeking schlong,
I call it.
The slong that goes into the basement.
Camera eye, yeah, yeah.
It's just,
it's Jurassic Park Raptor scene,
but less good.
I mean, less good than that scene.
I think it's a good scene.
We'll get to it.
So, yeah,
the power's going out.
The phones are going down.
All these cars are dead.
So it's like everything that works off of electricity in one way another is totally done.
And he's sort of walking around the streets to see what, you know, the people of the neighborhood can glean from this.
We run into Yule Vasquez.
He's nobody wants to wear the ribbon from Seinfeld.
And Rick Gonzalez as Vincent, although neither of these guys get names.
This is IMDB, but he's the kid who plays Spanish and old school, one of the pledges there.
He was making a lot of noise back in the early odds.
It's a very, Tom Cruise is king in the neighborhood here.
I was like, hey, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise.
And I'm curious if in any part of the development,
because everybody, Amy Ryan, all these kids have these like thick Jersey, New York.
Oh, what the fuck accents?
You think Tom Cruise ever entertained that for this character and like,
decided to back off or?
I mean, has he done voices?
I mean, like less, whatever the, the Tropic Thunder is a voice.
I mean, in Cocktail, he's supposed to be from like Long Island City around there.
But there's no way.
I don't think there's an accent there.
He doesn't really do.
He does a little southern in the outsiders and maybe some other he kind of.
Oh, I guess he's doing the Irish one in the Irish one.
That's not an accent.
Oh, what?
Is that far away?
Far away, yes.
Where is he actually from?
Is it like a secret government lab or a Scientology?
I think it's just Midwest, like Kentucky?
Yeah, I think he's from like Syracuse or something.
Oh, really?
New York?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
Well, that's with a lab.
Or like a western New York town.
I think so anyway.
So then, you know, you know, it's conceivable someone from Western New York would move.
Yeah.
Jersey.
Yeah, but everybody else's guy.
I'm just curious if anybody only one.
Yes.
Because I was like, oh, wait, oh, is it.
I knew you guys.
I knew you two guys were behind this whole thing.
It's a funny little New Yorkie kind.
Hey, you what, a lot kind of thing.
But yeah, we get everybody, they're looking at this hole in the ground and they're realizing
like the lightning, what these lightning strikes have made these really deep holes in
the ground and everybody's kind of like lightning wouldn't really do this.
And then you got this great line.
There's something down there.
And it's moving.
And the street all starts collapsing right.
This all looks really great.
I kind of like, I like how the street like breathes in and breathes out and pops.
Oh, that big sinkhole moment.
Yeah, that's pretty fucking sweet.
It is kind of interesting that it's a post-9-11 movie.
And like, I think later, like one of the first things that Dakota Fanning says,
when everything goes tits up is it the terrorists?
Because again, we're living in that world.
But I feel like a lot of New Yorkers with this shit would just be like,
I'm not going near that.
Like, everyone's like putting their mouth on it.
There's way too much slack-jawed gawking going on for four years after 9-11.
A commentary of what maybe, I mean, did 9-11 happen in this reality or not?
Because like during 9-11, like people were kind of cheeky about it.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
And taking photos with, with 9-11, I call it.
I think he does a good job of splitting it right down the middle because there are these people who are gawking.
But then when Tom Cruise survives all this, when he gets back to home, nobody knows what's going on.
Yeah.
It's like, it is very neighborhood-centric to like, there's all these people who have no idea what the fuck are.
They heard all of this shit.
And they're just like, ah, it's the city.
What, what have you?
The hustle and bustle.
Who knows?
When we moved here, we knew what would happen.
The great thing, when the sinkhole happens, and so this is the first tripod is coming
out of the ground.
The first building to fall and be destroyed is a church.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Which is exactly what would happen.
Religion, you were out the window, my friend.
There's fucking aliens driving tripod mobiles.
And we've lost faith in each other, too.
So, you know, that's right there.
Would it be, like, I like that we're not, we're not destroying, like, landmarks and stuff.
Because in the, I guess, in the original book or in the radio play, you do.
And is that because it's so close after 9-11?
Wouldn't it be more 9-11 to take out the Empire State Building or something?
I think also we've seen at this point, and we'd seen that so much.
That it's kind of exhausted.
Oh, fuck, they just blew up the optima.
Where am I going to get my cigarettes?
These things don't have respect for nothing, Ray.
What do you mean they took out the liquor store?
Oh, the liquor store?
How's it possible, babe?
It's liquor 11.
Licker 11.
Wait a minute.
Nightshades fell down.
Where am I going to dance now?
Pink pony fell?
What's next to put applesauce?
Applesauce is down?
You didn't want to go to applesauce anyway.
There was always stuff on the floor.
They always let you dance.
They never gave you any guff.
I do love, it's a great effect
because it's a smart way to get a PG-13 rating
but also be chilling as fuck.
These people aren't absolutely getting like, you know,
like, I don't know, Toby Hooper splattered,
but they're turned into dust, which is like, very chilling.
Yes.
I was thinking about that, especially because I'm like three episodes
away from finishing the boys.
And on that show, people are popping like grapes all the time.
Yes, exactly.
And it's every single time it is,
and you wouldn't be able to,
If it was just a light beam, just making people burst,
like you're stomping grapes in a winery.
Like, ready or not two style explosions.
Like, I just, yes.
The ash is cool.
I like, like, Tom Cruise, like, washing the people out of his hair.
That's a great moment when he gets back to the house.
And she's, like, one of the kids is, like, what's all over your face?
And he's, like, my fucking friends and neighbors, as a matter of fact.
He has so many good facial expressions in this movie.
Like, a lot of acting with his face here.
And this is when it's just like, oh, it's fucking.
And you're right, Steve, it is very 9-11.
Like, it's ash from the debris.
My father was down there during 9-11.
He had an interview at Building 7.
No, he didn't plant anything.
It wasn't a control thing.
Anyway, so afterwards, he went to the, afterwards when he got back, he went to the bar.
He didn't go home.
Maybe this is where the bar would have fit into this.
Yeah, like, holy shit, what's going on out there?
Get a quick double.
Absolutely.
Well, I also like that they do that because it makes the blood thing at the end pop so much more.
Yes, that's true.
that you don't have any of that in this
first part. You're right. If they were exploding
like ready or not and then you saw that
it's so freaky when he opens that door.
Because it's another what the fuck is all over
me? Oh no. Oh geez
oh boy. But yeah these people are just getting
dusted. It's pretty fucking cool. You know what I was thinking
about actually was the crystalline entity from
TNG. Oh yeah. Similar lawnmower
effect with its laser beams.
We're running, Tom Cruise running. You've got to have
it. Oh, absolutely. It was so good at it.
There is a great, I think it's like when he gets.
gets most of the dust on his face.
And I did not, I mean, I only saw this movie once before.
I liked it much more.
But like, at the time, I remember being in the theater, like, not into it.
So I maybe miss this entirely.
There's a woman filmed, like, running.
And she explodes.
And he runs through her dust.
It's fucking grim.
He literally eats her dust.
She's running in front of him, and he eats her dust.
That's unfortunate.
The effect kind of looks a little bit like the mummy.
Scorpion King era a little bit with the CGI but like it's still incredibly
A little better than the Scorpion kid well no god I caught it a few years ago I caught part of that on
TV oh no that is a cartoon his movie or his appearance in that second mummy movie I think the
movie I've actually never seen the scorpion king what it's awful oh dude I went right to theaters for
that and like a fucking garbage person oh yeah but yeah I think the real bad CG I because in
whatever the bad Cgen I was because in the the Scorpion King movie it's like a
prequel and it's just Dwayne Johnson
as a person. Oh yeah, at the end of the at the end of the
movie two he turns into the
Scorpion. Maybe that's what I'm doing with and it
just looks bad. It is incredibly bad and yes
I was joking a little bit. This is not that bad but it just kind of
reminded me of like aughts
even like horror stuff where like a face
turned differently. It takes him
a while Ray Ferrier's character to remember like
oh right I have like a nine year old girl just hanging out in my shitty
apartment that does that have power. I think
for large swaths of the movie, the nine-year-old girl forget she's a nine-year-old girl.
Yeah.
Because she's just silent and not doing anything and inactive.
I think, no, she's, I think she's pretty well captured.
I think she's a bad actress.
I'm just saying, like, this movie doesn't give her anything.
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She takes naps a lot
Yeah, she's really anxious
She's also like clearly got like shock syndrome at some point
So there's like a there's at least a reason for her
Not talking through a lot of it
I mean like a now the thing is I don't have children
I don't know shit from Shinole
but if I see a nine year old they're usually
screaming well this girl does
the fair share of screaming
and I think it should be throughout
I think that's sort of you got to fucking
I can't be listening to two hours
that's the thing you know what I mean
that's not be more accurate that does not a watchable movie
okay so then what if it's Tom and Cigarette
and they're trying to survive the
apocalypse
I'm not going to that basement with that weirdo.
He wants to have sex with me.
The idea of cigarettea leaving that house.
It's not happening.
Just give it up.
I was born next door and I'll die here.
O'Malley's is closed now because the coolers are down, but they still have well liquor.
Barry said he's opening it four.
Let's wait until four and we'll see.
Who's going to look after Uncle Seth's bar stool?
It's there all alone by his lonesome.
No, no, no, beautiful cigarette.
I've heard there's cartons of cigarettes left in Boston.
Are there cools?
I heard there's cools.
I heard there's Newports.
I heard there's Virginia Slims.
Oh, wow, it sounds like a promise land.
Okay, a broccoli girl and attractive son.
Let's get on the road, shall we?
Ray and cigarette would go on and on to the coast to find more and more cigarettes.
A trail of dead left in.
awake. At the end, the aliens
didn't realize secondhand
smoke kills.
Oh, dude, that's what it is.
They fucking take cigarette and they
pull her up into the thing to digest her.
And then this motherfucking tripod's like,
it's like, oh.
It's like Randy Quaid in Independence Day.
Remember me?
I'm bad.
She lights an entire pack at once in her mouth,
like file photo of Homer Simpson.
Somehow, the ship
got melanoma.
I don't know how.
But yeah, he runs back.
He's got fucking people all over him.
And, like, the kids are like, what the fuck?
Takes a quick, like, you know, rinse.
And he's like, we're leaving the house in 60 seconds.
You know, like, grab food.
Whatever we can grab, like, let's go.
We steal a minivan from his mechanic friend who he has.
Mani, who he has previously advised on how to fix this car.
Yeah.
So it's like the only running car in town.
No, no, Mandy, you don't get it.
Finders fixers, remember?
And so this guy's like, you can't take them.
What are you doing there, Ray?
I'm going to call the cops right now.
I know, I mean fixers keepers. Come on.
I mean, I do like the just like, get in the car.
Get in the car, manny.
He's trying.
In the car, manny.
And he dies.
He just immediately gets fucking vaporized.
Lenny Venito of Gile fame.
He was also on the Sopranos, a little bit, very Italian American character actor guy.
Dude's all over the place.
Yeah, every season of Law & Order at least one.
He's playing a different.
scumbag and every season.
He's always polishing a glass. Yeah, I think I saw somebody.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, excuse you, I'm just putting this box over here.
Hang on a second. Oh, wait, you knew Lanny Biscoe?
Oh, wait, let me put this down. Oh, I knew Laini Briscoe.
Cigarette, haven't seen it.
Thanks for lying for me.
He's been looking for me for weeks.
Oh, and the little sister Stoges? No, I've not. I've seen, I haven't seen there recently.
I'm easy, too.
What a pair.
I do love you see this mechanic just turned to dust
like in the rear view mirror of the van.
They do make Tom Cruise out to be as heroic
because he's stealing this car from this dude
but it's like, he's like, get in the car, manny,
come on, manny, I'm trying to save your life.
I ain't do it.
Oh, no, I'm dust.
Oh, shit.
Go dance.
I do like the shot here of like all the cars
turning in the air.
like the oil tanker should
falling on Bayonne
like it should be
and annihilating it
from the face of the earth.
So did the aliens know
that they were landing in Bayonne
or is that more of an accident?
It must have been an accident, right?
Because millions of years ago
they planted these tripods?
They didn't know.
If they had any idea,
I think they would have moved
some of the tripod placement around a little bit.
Let's go more of the financial district
instead.
I think they'll do more damage than Bayon.
A rural neighborhood in Bayon?
we shouldn't bury one of the pods there
the most significant thing to come out of that town
is an older sort of cynical radio DJ
who's very funny and hates most people
our research said that this is where
the headquarters of Burger King would be
oh man have it your way
uh yep we're on the road
we're on the road we're gonna drive up to
Westchester basically or North Jersey
I think we're sort of going
head north so we drive to
north Jersey you can tell because the houses are getting
nice and this is like Tony Soprano
area of Jersey because this is where Miranda
Otto and Tim live so we're going to go
their house Dakota Fanning is freaking
out that she does have some anxiety tools
about being in your place that
just Chatwin knows that Tom Cruise does it
and Tom Cruise does no patience for any of it
there's a great moment where Tom Cruise tries
to like reenact it later and she's like that's
not how it fucking goes don't try
and you don't care like you know
you don't care stop it
So guys, the elephant in the room.
We've talked about it recently.
I forget where about, I think it was Melro 2.1.
Our side show on Beverly Hills in Melrose place.
Beverly Hills 90210.O.
Of course.
But what is with this attempt at making a peanut butter sandwich from Tom Cruise?
With a wooden spoon?
Thank you.
A wooden cooking spoon.
Something you stir pasta with.
I mean, I know that we're all shell shot because he tells Justin Chow and grab a bunch of food.
He's like, you got a cocktail sauce and blah, blah.
He's giving him shit about it.
He's like, that's the other food in your house.
Pretty funny.
Yeah.
finds peanut butter and bread.
You're in a rich person's house that has two kids.
Open the refrigerator.
Yeah.
Find the butler and his pantry.
They've definitely got canned shit in there.
They've got Annie's little fucking cheddar snacks.
I'm not giving Tim the point.
No, I will not.
The crazy thing, though, is like, you hate your kids, whatever.
Exactly.
But you need to know that your daughter has a peanut allergy.
How does he not know that?
Of all the things to forget,
butter. The birthday, the middle name,
it's all fine. Peanut butter.
I would say hummus is too close to peanut butter.
You're not having that. Dude, you will, if you get
sucked off by cigarette, you'll forget your birthday,
little alone where your daughter's allergic to.
Last time I was with cigarette, she
made me forget my name for a week.
Oh yeah, come here, sweetie. I'll give you a
menthol number.
You know, if the little one was gone,
me and you could spend more time
together, you know, and
I heard that she doesn't like peanuts.
that's oh man
but that would add something to that
but you're right dude this is
atrocious sandwich making it's
disgusting I mean a peanut butter
A wooden spoon
A wooden fucking spoon
That's the other thing is like you're in this house
They've got cutlery
The silverware drawers got to be right there
They got nice plates I'm sure
Everyone making the movie hasn't made their own food before
Honestly right
Like no one knows what it is
He's I mean like that's the
I think the difference between this and the Beverly Hills
The Beverly Hills thing is an atrocity
because that is a situation in which you thought through a new way to do that.
You were like, it's Brenda Walsh doing what?
Brenda is stirring the jelly and the peanut butter in a bowl together before spreading.
There it is.
That is a different, like this, it's a difference between utility and what you're actually making the sandwich with, what the things of the sandwich are.
She had thought through this stupid idea of what you're, how you're going to create the meat of your sandwich.
He just was like, oh, I'm being funny.
Here's a stupid spool.
Are you telling me, like, Tim doesn't have a butter knife?
Tom Cruise called Steven Spielberg and David Kebs.
I got a couple of notes.
I love the blood stuff.
It's really cool.
The dust, whatever a tripod is, I can see it in my head.
On page 61, what is a sandwache?
What is my character doing here?
Why is he doing it?
What is a sandwich?
I thought that they were driving in, like, northern New Jersey.
Where is there a beach?
around there? What's with all the sand? I don't get it.
Oh, you mean, oh, okay. So it's like
a lettuce wrap with bread.
It's a bread wrap. You have a bread wrap
is what you want me to make. So it's
peanut. It's from peas, which are greens,
but it's brown?
What are you talking about? I'm
really confused here, Stephen. Also,
you would never use a knife for
any butter. You would use, of course, a wooden
spoon. That's what you use for
all butter. Few more notes. Page 61,
68, 69, 100,
150, 100, 44. All too close to
Lord Zinu.
Please strike that from the script.
He would be benevolent when he comes.
Now here's the thing. Might be some
abhorrent sandwich
making. Great A
sandwich throwing.
Oh yeah. Incredible. Because he's so
pissed off at these kids because she's like
peanut allergy and he's like, all right, well, that
one's on me. That's understandable. And then this
fucking teenage boy has to be
like, I'm not hungry either.
And this dude, God,
he's at his wits end. He throws.
throws this sandwich against this wall and it sticks to the window.
He's got half this neighborhood in his ears right now.
He's got a right to throw that sandwich.
Exactly.
No, at some point, I just want to like scream to the TV like,
you two need to cut this guy a break.
You have no idea.
The thing that you saw happen to the fucking gas station guy,
he saw that happen to 60 people in the neighborhood.
And he ran through one of them and ate part of her.
We go to a furnished basement for a bit because...
Too big.
Too big, yeah.
This is a huge base.
This huge basement.
Like the looks at this basement.
I can get into all sorts of trouble down here.
I like a good finished basement.
Even Tom Cruise,
he walks in and he's like,
that's a pretty big basement.
I guarantee you if the camera panned a little bit,
you would see like some movie style seats
at a popcorn machine.
Big time, dude.
That's the style of the time, 2005.
We love the popcorn machine for no reason.
I wouldn't do a kitsy, stupid popcorn machine
because, listen, I've made popcorn and popcorn machines
enough for my life.
Sure.
but I would
if I was a homeowner
and I had a finished basement
there would be a home theater there
and it would be the most expensive
waste of money you've ever seen
but zero stupid popcorn maker
but that's saying I think it's correct
that there would be a popcorn maker down there
because Tim bought one thinking
he's going to use it all the time
and it was there for I'm telling you
maybe two weeks honey we'll never have to go to the movies
again honey DVD just came out
he looked like half way through
Memento on fucking Amazon Prime
He's like, you know what?
It's taken up too much room.
I got to bring it downstairs.
No, no, no, fuck this.
I can't do this.
So in the middle of the night, we're trying to sleep in this basement.
The lightning strikes start happening again.
They wake up.
And Tom's like, this is not the exact same things before.
This is something else.
And then, like, this basement gets fucking torch.
They hide in a sub-basement.
This is some fucking barbarian shit here.
A basement at the end of your basement corridor?
Tim is a weird video camera.
set up here a bucket and a
bloody mattress. Well, I was
just getting started, okay?
I didn't get the time. That would be
fucking hilarious though. If Tom Cruise like runs
for that door and Dakota Panning's like, no, that's
Tim's special room. We're not supposed to go in there and he opens
up in the Barbarian studio. Yes.
It'd be nice for Tim to, so
it would be cliche for Tim to be a bad,
bad guy. It would be funny.
It would be fun. Kiddy porn dungeon.
It's a bit of a barbarian. What are you going to do?
A bit of a barbarian.
Tom, Tom. Tom.
next morning situation comes and Ray goes outside
and wouldn't you know it?
A plane has crashed in the neighborhood
and a big motherfucking jet
and these houses are desolate
like the aliens have come through
and destroyed this neighborhood.
There's actually a really funny episode of,
I think it's not this current season,
but the last season of Hacks
where Jane Adams and Hannah,
odd binder walk through this scene in,
like it's still up in Paramount.
Oh, yes.
They go to, the
mom and daughter are walking through this scene.
And I'm actually, I'm like, yeah, that's the matter of correct.
Good for you.
You really thought it.
Good for you.
Man, that shows, it's ending on a high note.
I hear this.
I haven't gone to this new season by here.
It's been so good.
But it is funny because these kids were like, no, we want to sleep in our beds.
And he was like, we should probably sleep in the basement.
Good move.
Listen, you're never going to win father of the year, but that was a good move, dude.
I guess slept through a plane crash, which was many people's nine.
11 experience.
Yeah.
But this is where we meet this news crew.
And I like this because this is just,
it's just the teeniest glimpse.
It's the only time we get a view in what's going on in the outside world.
And it's,
I love the start of it because he's looking at the fuselage and he sees a dude up there
moving the snack cart.
And he's like yelling at this guy.
Like, were you on the plane, sir?
And it turns out like he's a cameraman who's gone deaf due to the explosion
that happened right next to him.
And so he meets this producer.
And this woman sort of gives him the lay of the land.
here's, oh man, you haven't heard.
She's showing them all these tapes that she's got of all the...
I think she's trying to fuck this dude a little bit.
Wow, you know what I mean?
It's in the world and this guy comes in?
I was expecting you want to come with us?
Like, you're really like, you want to have a band?
Hey, hot time, come on in.
She needs to be a little dirtier, but she's the overall makeup of a cigarette.
I hear you, man.
You get a little bit more dirt on her and she's correct for a cigarette.
I thought you meant in different ways.
Oh, yeah.
Dialogue, costuming.
You can do the whole thing if you so wish.
I do like that she's like, he's like, there's more than one of these.
She's like, are you fucking kidding me?
Yeah, she's like, you gotta be kidding.
And that's the, that's the, that's the attitude.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta be kidding me.
That cigarette, she's just got a little bit of English on some of those expressions there.
And she's been analyzing these tapes like she's Alex Jones.
She's like, look at here, look at take a look at this, right, the moment of the alien lightning strike.
You can see clearly a capsule with an alien pilot going down into the ground pilot.
These aliens are pretty cool, man.
They're riding the lightning.
Are you watching the dude?
One one's got a devil horn.
Like, whew-hoo.
It's totally fucking serves up, dude.
You could even make the argument that they are the masters of puppets.
That's true.
Come on now.
Look, it's right there.
They're possibly from Asgard or some other type of Thor type of world.
They are going to kill them all.
So, come on.
It's right there.
Or they go full point break.
They're wearing fucking President Nixon masks.
These aliens.
What a rush.
Really stretching it over.
their big fucking weird shaped heads.
I was speaking of presidents,
I'd have thought when the kid comes back at the end,
why not Abe Lincoln, JFK?
Everyone else was wrong.
I survived as well.
They just put me on ice.
What is the thing that she asks him
and he responds and then she goes,
too bad it would have been a really good story.
He was going to be on the plane.
Oh, yeah.
Were you on the plane?
Yes, she's wondering.
Do your children need a mother?
I need some cigarettes.
They storm off.
I like the scene where it's like,
I'm going to carry my little daughter through this record.
Just keep your eyes close.
Keep on me.
Yeah, just look at me.
You don't want to look at what's going on here.
And this is the first glimpse we see.
The Robbie character is sort of looking around in the carnage.
You can see him like kind of getting mad.
Sure.
Wanting revenge for what's been done upon his stepdad's neighborhood.
Which he loved so much.
He really, he was.
Loved him more than dad, Ray.
I suppose.
And here's the thing.
If we got to take a pee break, we're all going.
I know Tom Cruise tries to do this.
We've got to be more forceful, Tom Cruise.
Exactly.
Everybody's got to go together.
You can't let this little girl just run across this fucking field like this, man.
You can't even do this in peacetime, let alone fucking...
Exactly.
Well, you can't do it in peacetime because the Zodiac Killer might be around.
Precisely.
Or is some sort of other child killer.
But yeah, you're right.
Well, her mother really usually takes care of this stuff.
I don't know.
I'm usually over there making the peanut butter sandwiches.
Which she loved.
She just eats those things down.
But I'm glad that he's such an irresponsible parent because this leads to one of the
eeriest parts of this movie.
And it's just, and it's it's the Spielberg way to do this, right?
She gets to this riverbank, which I guess at first I'm like, you're going to piss in the
river?
Like, what are you doing?
But then you just see the one body floats down and you're like, wow, that's disturbing.
This poor little girl.
And seconds later, just a sea of bodies float down in front of her.
And this is where it's like, snap, something broke in this kid.
Yes.
Like, oh my God.
Apparently, according to the trivia, or if it's to be believed, I should say,
they lost a couple of these dummies in the river filming,
and the dummies just, like, got away and they couldn't find it.
So they had to, like, send word to the local police around the area,
like, hey, if someone reports seeing, like, a couple of bodies floating in the river,
I mean, maybe their bodies, but there's a good chance it's two mannequins we lost.
Check first.
The moonlit killer was like, perfect.
This is a perfect.
Oh, my God.
No, I never catch me now.
I am the moonlit killer.
This is the hour of my becoming.
Okay.
Thank you, Steven Spielberg.
I need to amone you up all my knives.
I got to make sure they're good and clean.
Oh, okay.
So if I just make them look like mannequins, they won't look in the river for them.
I mean, that would be, during an alien invasion, people would be the purging you all the time.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, they almost get purged a little bit down the road there.
And again, it's one of those things where, like, I ask a question and the movie doesn't do it,
but then the movie eventually does it.
Because, like, when they're driving out of the first neighborhood, I'm like, they should be,
they're not getting out of this neighborhood.
They're, we're ripping this car apart.
Zombies, perhaps.
Which eventually happens.
It does happen.
I'm more thinking, Zinot, are you serious?
You didn't evaporate those bodies.
You just push them in the river like that.
We got these lasers for use.
We get these fucking things evaporated.
What's wrong with you?
You push them in the water.
That's sloppy work, okay, pal.
You know, I know you just drained those bodies,
but we should dust up too.
We're gonna dust the water.
Drinking that water soon, you fucking moron.
Heaven forbid.
Oh, heaven forbid.
Jesus Christ.
Have you analyzed the water
or any of the conditions on this planet,
which we set up our stuff a million years ago?
No.
Will we?
No.
I told you already.
I lost those files centuries ago.
I'm sure.
I'm sure you're perfect.
You're perfect.
I mean, just been obliterating people all.
morning. You're just a perfect man. Never had a hard drive film. Never lost the paper.
It's really weird to watch this movie because I kept expecting these aliens to start eating the data like it was food. You know what I mean? That's a classic War of the World thing. This is the new one. Yes. The Ice Cube movie where they're eating data. I did not see that. So how was that? Not good, actually. If you believe it. I'll tell you this. I watched it about 20 minutes and I aged four years. It's rough. I happily turned them.
Bueberg's got it over on the
2025 War of the World's
film starring Ice Cube, where in
the aliens eat data
and the day is saved by an Amazon Prime
delivery drive. This movie's
better than that. It is better. And this is not a bad
movie. I'm taking the piss out of it. Do you think
Jeff Bezos watched that World of the World and was like
C-I-Am changing the world?
I just saved it. Isn't this what people
want from movies? I mean, what else
would you want? Look at this. This is a beautiful
motion picture here.
When Thirst strikes and
energy begins to fade, one hero rises above the rest. Introducing the superpower smoothie from
Zhu Booster. A bright sun-charged burst of mangoes, bananas, and blue spirulina. An out-of-this-world smoothie,
just in time for the new Supergirl movie. Discover your power and channel your inner superhero.
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Oh, that guy's about as clueless as they come.
So, yeah, we get a big, this is like the screaming match goes on here and she freaks out.
And then the kid does the, here's how you settle down kind of deal.
It's a great line because Robbie's like, we got to go fight the aliens.
And he's like, because I think this is the first military procession.
Robbie wants to jump on.
We got to get back at them.
And look, the military is like, we're all full up, dude.
You're seven.
Get out of here.
This isn't the American Revolution.
You can't just fucking tag along and join up with the ranks.
One time you see someone, one of the guys saying something,
I'm pretty sure he's saying, we are all going to die.
We're all dead.
By the time this night is over, we are all dead.
But a great Tom Cruise delivery is like,
okay, so what's your better plan that doesn't involve your 10-year-old sister joining the Marine?
That's so good.
But then she gets one over on the brother,
and it's a big fuck you to Tom Cruise as the father, right?
Because she's like, if you leave, we'll take care of me.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Correct.
The kid here trying to enlist after seeing what happened to his both neighborhoods.
Makes a little more sense than what happened during 9-11.
We're all these Texans wanted to defend New York City, which they hate.
Yeah.
And enlisted.
But that's where the terrorists are, Eric.
So, like, that's where they need to be.
Well, listen, we're a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
We're a progressive, communist fucking backwater, whatever the fuck.
But you bet your ass, all those dudes that fucking think that about this town are also the dudes that
put the fucking trade towers as their Facebook profile picture on 9-11, like clockwork.
We all have all the good terrorists, Eric.
We are greedy.
The Texas doesn't get all the good ones because we took them all because of our cityness.
Right.
I know we got one of the White House.
Which other ones are you referring to?
Well, there's a lot of them.
So we're driving in the rain here.
This is where we get to the point we pass a bunch of people who are like, hey, a working car,
what the fuck is this?
And eventually it just comes to an impasse where like there's too many people in the road.
and this is not the kind of movie
where we're going to run them all down in the street.
So they start, basically it's like the Walking Dead here.
Get out of the fucking car.
One dude's like, this is hilarious.
We should say he's driving like a Mercury Villager.
Like a boxy-ass, 1998 Mercury Villager Mini Mani.
Quick question about this whole movie's premise here.
So these lightning storms are also like electric magnetic pulses.
They take out cars.
Except for Manny's.
Well, Manny, there's because Tom Cruise fixed it.
He knows the whatever.
You got to change out like the catalytic converter,
whatever it is.
Like, right.
So you to push or something.
I saw it with,
I had the,
the subtitles on it.
It said what it was.
It's not I've ever heard of.
Yeah.
But it's,
you know,
it's the one.
I mean,
I'm sure.
Cruz.
He knows what's the,
got it.
That's all I needed.
Yeah.
He's a car.
Like,
again, like,
it would have been nice.
You only see the fucking engine in the kitchen.
If you actually see him working on,
I would prefer that.
How would make him manny?
You know,
give him that job.
Why is he even at the container thing?
What does it matter?
Because that's the only fucking job
cigarette could get him.
There wasn't any openings at the auto body shop.
Her cousin runs it.
I knew.
I had to get weird with my cousin just to land you that fucking job.
You better not be fucking late.
Yeah, that's right.
I let Michael kiss me and grab my ass a little bit last Easter
just so you can get the job at the fucking factory.
You know, he is showing those Polaroids to Uncle Seth.
You know, he's not, he's an animal.
You know that about him.
I had to do a full phone.
Oh, no, shoot.
Can you believe because of the whole alien thing, they opened the bar at six o'clock?
I mean, they still open, but, you know.
I got to tell you, man, you know, I'm sure it would work for an alien attack, but, like, something
as, as, not as severe, I guess, as, like a bad blizzard.
I love being at a bar.
Oh, yeah.
When there's, like, inclement weather kind of a deal or, like, something's happening.
The neighborhood bar is a nice place to be.
I love being at a bar, period.
End of sentence.
New idea.
Anytime.
In good times and bad.
There's a great scene in Gone Girl that gets that when it is snowing, pouring, and Ben Affleck comes out of the thing.
And everything else is closed and it's just him with the girlfriend.
It's phenomenal.
So he's driving this boxy-ass, Mercury Village or whatever.
Some guy is like, you could fit 20 people in there.
I was like, no, you can.
I don't want to hang out with you.
I know it's the apocalypse.
I don't hang out.
No, we're just friends.
I'm trying to get where I'm going.
I do like the escalation of this to the first guy,
but then switching it over to the guy who finds the gun and making the gun the thing that you're focusing on.
Rather than the car as the thing that makes the decision.
The funny thing, though, is when Ray fires off his gun to get the crowd to get off the car and whatever,
all of these people immediately get so indignant, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, a gun?
It's like you're about to fucking murder this guy's family and steal the car.
You're about to eat Dakota Fanning for food.
Exactly.
I see you look at your lips, fat guy.
Like, come on now.
Oh, we were just going to shunna the dead her.
Real quick.
It's the liberal Hudson Valley they've driven up to.
And that's how it.
There's not as many gun people, but there are people that will still rip you apart.
But that's, I love that they keep it to this because other movies, weaker movies would make this scene the whole movie.
Yes.
And like, I love that it's just like this, quick scene.
of him like yeah he has this card this thing of value
and then he has to give it up and then he is back on
just his feet for the rest of it I will say again
it's a two hour movie it moves
like there's a lot very many movements
we're not doing the walking dead thing that I always say
which is like the whole movie's about looking for a fucking can of beans
thank God it's not right you know what I mean it's about it moves
it does get there I guess he walks all the way to Boston question mark
but okay or all like that every like the whole thing is just reminding you
like oh people will fuck you over
No, you want another lesson, people will fucking over.
We've learned that lesson we can move on to the next one kind of a thing.
And this is a cool, this other guy's got a gun and that just doesn't go well for anybody.
Well, it's great because that guy with the gun winds up, he gets Tom to put his gun down.
And then this dude, because he's just like, I'm taking your van, man, I'm taking your van.
And he does.
And then when you see Tom and the kids go into like this diner and sort of huddle down,
you look out the window, the guy drives like two feet and then someone else just shoots that guy in the head.
There's a great shot of the bald guy looking at it.
at the gun. Oh, yes, he finds
really wonderful. He shoots him with Cruz's gun. You're right.
Yep. But then you hear that off screen. I would
love to see his head go pop. I would
like to see Tim Robbins be beaten to death.
I love that shot. Directed by
Steven Spielberg, you're never going to
see any of that. Hey, it's classy. I still like
it. I still think it's a very violent, like,
you see it through the diner window and you see
the guy pointing it right at him. It's
the pop effect. You do see that guy get murdered.
It's really good. It's so good.
And the score is really good.
Williams is doing it in this one. It is
Williams, yeah, that's right.
Turned down Harry Potter to do this.
Good for him, thank God.
He probably knew what was up.
So in 05, they were probably on the like,
Goblet.
The fourth one.
Yeah, Goblet, right?
Yeah.
That man can smell evil.
You know that about him.
Well, also, like, through all eight of those movies,
they are still using his main theme.
That's the thing, dude.
Once you do, what John knows.
Once you get some main Stephen.
You're paying me anyway.
Exactly.
Like 2005, he did this, memoirs of regisha, and...
Did he do Munich?
as well. Revenge of the Sith.
Revenge of the Sith.
My guy, that's a nice year for him.
Clean it up. Oh, boy.
Yeah, that dude is
sitting pretty with his bank account.
That's for sure.
He also did Revenge of the Nerds
218. Really?
So everyone is walking to
this Hudson ferry is where we need to go
because we have to cross the Hudson
River to continue going northeast
up towards Boston. So this is getting to
this little ferry area
here. I think this bridge walk type
of thing is where I, the extra
I was invited to.
A cool moment. Or you could have been at the part
where the flaming or the Metro
North train drives by right here. Oh, it's Amtrak
actually. Oh, was it an Amtrak train?
Ooh, the trivia was wrong.
Really? Oh, the fuck you trivia. The fucking Metro
North doesn't go north of Pekipsy, you
fucking sack of shit. I-MDB.
More fucking bullshit from the
IMDB. I do love
It's... Ray, you just can't trust this website.
It's very Steven Spielberg,
it's a joke, but the
the... The, the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the... the
Stanchin comes down as a train's coming.
It's just on fucking fire.
It's so good.
Fire train. Fire train.
It's a very,
what am I trying to say? It's a
a rougher version
of the Back to the Future three gang
where the thing's going down and
Marty's looking both ways and there's no train coming
and then duck. Yes, if your ticket isn't
on fire before you get on the train, it's
more expensive to light it on fire when you get on the train.
It's just cool how those automated systems,
obviously the train hit a certain point in the track,
and now this is going down.
It's going.
On its own, it's good.
And you know what?
It's classy.
Again, classy.
You could have had a bunch of people screaming on fire inside of it, but they're all
long dead.
They're all dead.
Everybody's going.
But so this is like, here's the military's here helping people get on this ferry.
Taking their sweet time in the beginning.
I would have moved them a little faster.
I know.
I mean, you know, we still had to put mirrors under cars and shit.
It's taken forever.
And also, they did not.
You know, it's not real an emergency until you see.
the tripod. That's what I mean
I was like crazy. I was losing my mind like
it's an alien invasion move these
fuckers now. Also get all these
car I mean you'd have to like push them in neutral
to get them off but like yeah get them out of
no one should be in a car right here. No fuck them.
Get more people on. Also it would be tough
I know you could probably swim the Hudson if you're really really
well they're not with fucking alien ships
underneath you I think they would probably
This seems like a no win scenario for everyone.
Sure that's that's fair. This is the
Lisa Ann Walter comes out of nowhere
and is like, hey, Tom Cruise, remember me from that
deleted scene? You're like, what the fuck?
And again, like she wasn't, Abidt Elementary
was, you know, 20, 15, 20 years off.
So she's not famous here.
She's just a stand-up.
Although at this point, she had definitely been
the nanny in the Lindsay Lownd
Parent Trap movie.
Oh, okay. That's one of her larger roles.
Jointie, is that you?
Have you heard about Cigaretta? What happened to my love?
But yeah, it's just weird like, oh, hey, Ray,
how's it going? Oh, you remember my daughter? Oh, yeah. And then they're like with them for a little bit.
He's like, oh, Lisa and Walter like hold onto my jacket. We'll just get. And I'm like, are you in this movie now? What is going on?
They're just gone now. They're just, I don't know if I like looked away from the TV or whatever. Like, do they just like lose track of her or is there some like, there's a, the stanchion comes up.
Right before. Basically, like, they're getting on very slowly. The guys like, there's another ferry coming right at.
Folks, don't worry.
We've got fucking cupcakes and beer on here.
Come on.
Slow and steady.
Also, a ferry to, I mean, if you're crossing the Hudson in a boat, it's less than five minutes.
There's also multiple bridges nearby.
I won't mention that.
I guess maybe they're down.
They're probably full.
They're probably absolutely backed up to shit.
Or they got tripoded.
Oh, well, that's it.
Look, calm down.
There's only 10,000 of those things.
They can't find us all at the same time.
Don't worry.
But this is great.
This is when you see the one in the water.
And, like, the guy, the fairy...
On the trees.
First you see the...
Well, yeah, that's what gets, like,
their asses in gear.
And it's a great shot.
And, again, because we're keeping this so insular and, like, it's this family's story,
there's not even, like, a lot of wides at all like this.
But this landscape shot of the three tripods, like, coming over the hill and just going
into the valley and decimated, man, this looks fucking good.
But with her, the daughter's saying, the trees are weird.
Like, it's just a nice little line.
That's all you need to do.
And, yeah, so basically, they get on, but the other people don't because they're separated.
and we see Robbie yet again being heroic.
He's trying to help people get over the edge there.
This is a nice moment because, again, it's Tom Cruise not saying a word of dialogue.
He just smiles enough to be like, you register that's like a proud father moment.
Like, look, he is doing something mature and adult-like.
I would say a huge moment because not only does he see that, he understands I'm not doing that.
I'm not up there.
I am not.
I am not.
He is holding on to a traumatized 10-year-old girl.
But I think it's more to be like, I'm just not that person.
Like that's what, to me, this movie keeps coming back to is he's just not a hero.
You know what I would do if I was, you tuck her in, right, late at night there.
You say it's going to be all okay.
Okay.
You slowly slip some peanut butter down her throat.
Just to like, it's easy.
It's to be better to pass in the night.
Just die from this.
That's not what happens when you have a peanut allergy, though.
You don't die from it?
Well, you die.
It's all a bunch of crock of shit.
No, it wouldn't be a peaceful death in your sleep.
It's a horrible death.
You would die choking horribly.
Your cells attack you.
You choke to death.
Yeah.
Anaphylaxis.
Okay.
What I would like, the move is, you'd rather be alien?
Here's that.
But I'm just saying that's not going in your sleep.
I would see.
That's, that's waking up going, what the fuck is happening, suffering and dying.
This is where you grab the pillow.
The pillow is bad.
That's fine.
No, what I'm doing, the ferry, uh-oh, here comes the aliens.
And I'm like, you know what, guys, I'm exhausted.
Hey, over here.
Let's just, let me the dust me.
Dust me, dust me, is.
As soon as possible.
Yeah, well, you'd be, you'd be pro dusting.
I'd be pro-dusting.
I'd want to get fucking in that little cage and blooded out.
I just, the dust ray is what I'm bad.
It's not a bad way to go.
It's instantaneous, dude.
Like, you might even not see it common, like that jogger.
I mean, Steve, if you don't even bother to leave your house during this, you might just be crushed.
Yeah.
You know, that's the most honorable way to go out is to be crushed by a building.
Jersey City pretty close to Bayonne.
You'd be one of the first to go, honestly.
Or a fire, I guess you'd also be fireballs to be fireballs.
And I guarantee you there'd be some, like, fucking religious,
It's just like, oh, when you get, when the beam just sends you to heaven or what, you know what?
I'm sure.
Some heaven's hate shit, you know what?
Some Scientology shit.
Like, what's that beam?
We'll send you to the next level.
The dustians are, they've taken over what's left.
Oh, dude, the dust devils, look out.
But dude, dust me daddy.
Let's do it.
Let's fucking do it.
Let's do it quick.
We would all be dusted.
That should be our new podcast.
We should change the name of this to dust me daddy.
We'd get some press.
But yeah, so this tripod comes up out of the,
of the water, knocks this fucking boat over.
This is awesome.
The old, we're coming up for air.
Oops, right by the huge propeller.
Look out for that. Pretty great.
It was a little unclear on the temperature.
Like, is this freezing water?
It seemed quite pleasant, actually, in the water, the temperature.
Like, well, I think they filmed like November to March.
I should get rare.
Yeah, it looks cold.
They're shaking at the air.
Yeah, I think they're cold.
And because the kid says something, too, about, like, you know, like baseball seasons over.
Oh, yeah.
So it's, also, it was closer to, it was.
It was 2006, so it was closer to normal weather.
We've strayed from the path, of course.
But, yeah, at that point, it might have just been normal cold, not like depth cold, death cold.
But then this is, like, all the, this is, I think, the clothes dropping from the sky as they get to the other side and walk through the woods.
It's a raining pants.
Hallelujah, it's a raining and pants.
Boy, I needed so.
All of these are my size.
Fantastic.
Thrifting, yeah.
No, you'll grow into this Dakota.
Hold on, I got it for you.
A beautiful dress.
Beautiful dress.
Oh, and cigarette would look marvelous in this.
You didn't get me anything from the alien invasion, you piece of shit.
You just got a bunch of clues for your kids.
I wanted a souvenir, an alien talent or something.
You couldn't raid a target for me?
Yeah, and my dad watched the alien invasion from home.
That's right.
Turn to dust from my sweatpants.
Your father-in-law doesn't even have to wear a sports coat when he bats on the games.
My father-in-law doesn't even have to wear a sport coat when he grabs my heirs at Thanksgiving.
That's right.
So they see some action coming over the hill here, and this is where it's like, holy fuck, look what's going?
They, like, so refrain from showing you, like, this big battle, which is great.
And then this is, like, Robbie, running up the hill.
because he's got to go serve in the military.
It's all great, but like, it's not like,
find a recruiter, you know what I mean?
Like, you're not, you are a 16-year-old skinny kid without a gun.
You're not doing shit in any of fucking...
But there's no more recruiters, Stephen.
The world is in fucking disarray.
Because in the real world,
a lot of youth ran to serve in the military
without getting the full picture.
This is what we're doing, folks.
Come on.
But don't worry, their kids are going to be fine.
They're going to be just fine.
What's even weird about that is David,
Kep said, on Wikipedia, there's this
quote about that he was
considered this as Robbie
as an analogy
to the teenagers of Gaza
trying to rise up to like a war
machine that they could never actually
they don't know what they're doing kind of thing.
But that's, I find
that so, because like
this scene is specifically
not about him, like we don't see any
of his battling. We, this is,
we see Robbie here. He goes over the hill
and we do not see him again until the, like,
Like, it's not about what he's doing in battle.
We don't see anything about him battling at all.
It's about the family unit.
Exactly.
You would never see that in this movie.
It's about Tom Cruise.
I mean, like, literally, it's about Tom Cruise realizing I'm not a family man.
I am no longer this person.
But he's also at a tough spot, Tom Cruise.
He's trying to grab this kid.
Oh, my God.
And then the other, this other, like, I mean, I assume they're trying to do the right thing.
They are, but this is like, stay out of it, lady.
Because, like, yeah, he's in this position.
One, I'm trying to convince my teenage son not to run off to war to fight aliens.
And then also, I have to prevent.
the kidnapping of my daughter?
These are human traffickers.
Who the hell knows what they're going to do with that guy?
It's kind of awesome because he comes up like kind of clapping
at him like a fucking bear like get out of here,
get out of it. And then the woman is like,
oh, I'm so sorry. We thought she was alone.
Yeah, likely.
But you thought that girl was alone in the Target bathroom lady.
Let me guess you got a finish basement too.
Exactly. Yeah, with a fucking back
basement. Oh, you got these
zip ties in your pockets, old man, you fucking creep.
Let me guess, mattresses on the floor and
walls to muffle the sounds.
And it's awesome because the husband or whatever this guy is with this woman,
uh,
co-kidnapper sees Tom Cruise coming.
He's like,
scramm the parent founder.
There's other.
There's other.
I would love to catch him.
He was like,
look,
when the aliens go,
the world's going to need traffickers,
okay?
We lost a lot of good people,
you know,
that we,
we lost buckets of fucking merchandise.
Honestly,
during those power vacuums is when most human trafficking takes place.
True.
Right now,
snatch it.
I mean,
because who knows?
Oh,
aliens got them.
snatch it like tripods, dude.
So we do replay the flaming gag a little bit, only there's not as much set up,
but this is where Tim Robbins is like, hey, come over here, come down here.
And these two like flaming Humveys just ride by him.
But yeah, this is Tim Robbins here.
Holding up the gun.
Yes, come on in, sanctuary here.
And only Tom and Rachel take up Harlan on his offer here.
Well, Tim Robbins, Harlan here is trying, he's like, should I be leather face or shouldn't I be?
You know what I mean? He's thinking about it.
It's a new, it's a new era.
You know what I mean? Cut that handsome guy's skin off and wear it as a mask. Why not?
But first I need someone to drink peach snopsmith.
So like this is a nice little moment here where she's like, hey, I'm having another one of my, you know, like panic episodes here.
You know, mom sings me songs to calm me down.
Could you sing me whatever? And he's like, I don't know that one.
All right, how about this? I don't know that one.
So he's got to sing a song that he knows.
and he's a car guy, so it's fitting.
He sings Beach Boys
a little do scoop to her
to calm down.
It's like, all right,
now you're going to go to sleep.
Daddy's going to go drink peach snobs
with this crazy guy.
What do you want me?
Okay, you know,
I'll sing you the ad song
from Reese's peanut butter.
Rees, everything's good
with the Reese's peanut butter.
You're on the perfect street.
Sometimes the world looks perfect.
Nothing can be arranged.
Sometimes you just,
Oh, is that the same song?
Yeah, it is.
You get a feeling like you need some guys.
to change.
Stand in toe on the roof of these tripods.
As I said, I have some peach snobs over here.
Daddy's talking to the maniac, sweetie.
Go to sleep.
No, no, Daddy and the maniac are having a nice little conversation.
It was awesome that his full name is Harlan Ogilvie.
Because all I could think about was that dude on the pit who everybody hates named
Ogilvy.
Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That dude against the fucking compacted shit shot at him.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Orphala.
O'Ogle V.
But so, yeah, this is, you know,
Tim Robbins, he's got all the info, air quotes, you know.
But he does make a good point.
He's like, hey, they defeated the greatest power in the world
in a couple of days.
Like, we're all totally fucked right here.
Nicholas Cage's most annoying partner from bringing out the dead.
Oh, my God, can you imagine.
He's an ex-ambulence driver.
Or he's an ambulance driver.
He was up till, like, whatever.
It's two years later.
He's just using the Mystic River accent again.
You know what I mean?
It's fine.
Big time.
time. The only thing he's missing, he's not talking about
vampires in this one. It's all right.
The aliens are close enough to vampires.
I do like Tim Robbins as this dude
just because, like, the thing you always
forget about Tim Robbins is he's fucking huge.
You know what I mean? And like Tom Cruise is small
and this is one of the few times we do not
put Tom Cruise on an apple cart. He is like
leather face in here. Like, you know what I mean?
I am in this thing with this hulking weirdo
with a shotgun and an axe.
Exactly. Also funny, though,
there are other moments in this movie.
I think it's like kind of towards the end.
but like there's a great shot of Dakota Fanning
like standing right next to Tom Cruise
and like she's whatever like eight,
10 years old in this movie.
Taller than him.
She's like the top of her head would be like
like up to his fucking biceps I think like
Yeah, it's insane.
She's about to tower over.
And she's the shorter of the two fanning sisters
even to this day.
They had to Gandalf
Tom Cruise to be a little bit bigger than the child.
He was on stilts all of Eyes Wide Shed.
Every every fucking net. I mean look next.
There's on stilts that whole fucking marriage.
What are you kidding me?
That's why I had to break it up.
I mean, it was enough already with the stilts.
I'm wearing these lifts.
They're killing my fucking ankles.
I can't do this anymore.
We got to get divorced.
Right after this movie,
I think maybe during the press for this movie is when he started dating Katie Holmes.
Yes, this was the famous couch.
Yes, that's right.
Because he was promoting this.
Yes.
Well, the crazy thing about that was, uh, and again, apocryful, but Spielberg was supposed
to be at the interview with him.
They were both going to go on together.
They probably would have tempered it down.
Exactly.
And he couldn't because he had to do.
They were, they fucking made this movie and released it in seven months, which is insane.
Yeah.
And so he had to do some like last second post-production effects meeting or something like that.
And he had to cancel it.
And the fucking couch.
Okay.
Tom, yeah, I can't make it.
I got to make sure we were doing some ADR stuff.
No, you don't need to come and do the Oprah.
Just pump the movie, talk about the special effects, the location shooting.
And I know you don't believe in psychology, but don't do anything crazy.
Just don't do anything crazy.
What do you mean why crazy, Stephen?
What are you trying to tell me?
by crazy.
My Tom Cruise hot take is I like that he's a psychotic maniac
because I like actors to be eccentric and nutty.
You're there for my entertainment.
What do I give a fuck about your personal opinions?
Go wild.
Go nuts.
If he was a level-headed, like, family man kind of actor.
No one cares.
Outside of that first Mission Impossible movie,
none of those big stunts would happen
in the rest of that.
That's true.
You got to be crazy.
He's like a crazy loner.
That's why these fucking.
marriages never work because he's just
this is, he's keyed in.
And he doesn't play family
men. Like that's a thing
I think people slip is just like, oh, he's just
like all the other ones. He's a hero who just wants
to protect the family. I'm like, no, he's about his
own fucking ego. That's his
whole fucking thing. He's top gun.
He worships the aliens because he's an alien.
He's like an alien person.
They can do better. They can better themselves.
And I know, commenter, yes, he's the head of
an evil syndicates. Yeah, sure.
I mean, it is.
It's crazy cult.
It's crazy cult.
You know what else is?
What's that?
Catholic Church.
Judaism, everything.
I'm much more interested in Miss Cavage in that situation.
I don't much care about Tom.
And Mrs. Miss Cabbage.
Wherever she may be.
M.I.A.
Oh, my God.
Sorry, you meant RIP.
Probably.
Oh, the alien got her with the dust ray, dude.
Yeah, she got dust in.
So Tom, yeah, just do it.
Yeah, make sure.
We're talking, the video game, don't announce the video game, don't you?
And don't send your career into a tailspin for six years.
Just do me a favor, buddy.
That interview really fucked his career for a little while.
Why are you, why are you practicing your jumps?
I heard in the background that you're practicing your jumps.
It's entirely possible that this made him be like, or that, not this movie, but that incident.
Because like 2006 is Mission Impossible 3.
Yeah, exactly.
So I feel like it was like, oh, fuck, better go back to the thing I'm universally loved for
because that couch thing really screwed me over.
Let's go back to the movies where I almost kill myself in stunts.
Let's go directly from the jump to that.
So, you know, Tim Robbins is like, you know, running will kill you.
I'm dead set on living.
He thinks that he can like fight these things and whatever.
There's a weird moment where Tim Robinson is sitting with Dakota Fanning and he's like,
if anything happens to your dad, I'll be your dad.
Don't worry about it.
He's like, you don't talk to her.
Yep, exactly.
If you have any questions you come to me, you know, I mean, right move.
Don't let Leatherface talk to your kid.
No, I'm just, it's an apron, dude.
I'm going to make food later.
Don't worry what it's from.
But it's, I love, there's two really great, again, just like facial expression, body language, bits of performance here from Cruz.
And starting it here in this scene is when he realized, because like when you first meet Tim Robbins, like right away, you're not like, oh, he's fucking crazy.
No, yeah.
He's like, come in, sanctuary, you know, sit down.
He's like, I got food for weeks.
He can stay as long as you want.
But when Ray realizes that this guy is crazy, Cruz has this really like, oh.
Oh, fuck. This guy isn't a genteel savior. He's just a maniac.
It's also not his house, right? Because he says he found a whole case of the peach schnops down there.
Yes, yes. He might have fucking iced some dude to that shotgun, by the way. You never know.
He killed some old couple and drinking all their peach snops.
I'm sure that's just one of the thoughts in the pool of Tom Cruise's mind, just swimming in there being like, oh yeah, he probably killed somebody from down here.
Does that smell? Yeah, that's probably a smell.
So then they have to rest. And this is where the alien schlong comes to investigate things.
That's right.
It's a shlong that makes
sound like a robotic rattlesnake.
There's a little like shaker in it.
But also Tim Roberts' thing is like,
you want to be their pet.
Oh, you don't want to fight for the,
we're the resistance.
It's like, no, we're not the resistance.
I heard that in Osaka,
they took one down at the Japanese.
Where did you hear that?
Alex Jones, he's still, he's broadcasting.
Yeah, is it crazy?
They took Info Wars away from him,
but he still hasn't.
He's his co-host, Tim Heideker.
but you know yes Eric to your point this does have
reverberations of the kitchen scene
I kind of don't care I like this alien
getting getting tricked by this mirror that they pull out
it's also very minority report with the little
oh yeah the spider guy very much so
yes Spielbergo was loving like creepy crawlies around this time
I like Spielberg I like both of those movies
I think they're lesser of his works I just feel like
these are Xerox versions of his other movies in a way
what is that the aliens look at it
He's like, oh my God, there's another one of me over there.
Hello.
Oh, the mirror, yeah, the dropping up in the mirror.
It's pretty cool.
There must be another tripod in the area.
He's holding up dresses.
Did you ride the lightning down too?
Oh, my God, wasn't that crazy?
How many humans did you guys?
So many humans.
This is weird.
You weren't in on the plot?
You just, wow, what are the odds?
Small universe.
Are they assigned both of us to the same farmhouse?
That's crazy.
I'll catch you later.
We'll catch up.
Oh, wait, there's a shoe.
Great moment of seeing Dakota Fanning's
foot in the boot in the reflection
of the viewfinder of this tentacle thing.
Pretty cool here.
And then, yeah, this is, I love this.
It's because, again, he's a lunatic
and he's not practicing like safe gun safety or anything.
They're hiding from this thing.
And Tim Robbins, like Tom Cruise doesn't even see it.
Tim Robbins has a shotgun to the back of this dude's head.
Towering and like shaking because he's so nervous.
Well, he's like lunitude's holding this shotgun.
Yes, he is. Yeah. He's like sort of holding it.
Oh, no. Oh, no. The aliens.
But yeah, so the tentacles sort of gets confused.
But then it sees the foot and then it's just the boot left there, which is really nice.
And then just like, you know, navigating around this basement area.
Not as nice as the last basement we were in, of course.
Where did that other alien go?
Look.
Hey, baby.
Hey, where'd you go, baby?
You still in here?
Give me small, girl.
Come on.
It's 2005.
hit up those Craigslist misconnection.
Oh, dude, I was raiding a farmhouse in upstate New York,
and there you were looking at me through a window.
A for A.
Oh, it's fucking great.
But then, so yeah, I love that it's like,
I think what happened here was like they couldn't get a read with the tentacle.
They were like, something's up.
These gleeplops were like, fuck it, man.
We got to get out of the car for this one.
We can't just use the viewfinder.
We got to go down and see what's going on.
I got to stretch my legs anyway.
You want to waste the blood harvest shit?
If we, we start spraying and it turns out there's fucking people down there.
It's all for not.
We've wasted all of this blood.
What the fuck do you want us to do, man?
But so really, really fucking tense thing.
Even though these things are computer,
when the one moves the chair that Dakota Fanning is like sitting in.
Does a very good job of like staying still and not being flung out of the chair.
That's a pretty tense moment.
It's a nice little boot thing I thought was nice.
the boots hanging out a little bit by an inch
and it turns out it's, yeah.
Dakota Fanning really holds her old in this movie
in just in general.
Oh yeah.
Good kid actress did this,
Man on Fire, other stuff.
Very good in Man on Fire.
And she's grown up to be a good actress,
an adult actress too.
We just watch one of that.
There was some honestly more or less
like forgettable crime miniseries.
Oh, right.
But she was very good in it though.
But yeah, so Tim Robbins
getting ready to fucking shoot these things
and he's like, please don't fucking do this.
And then this fight.
with the silent fight with the gun.
Yeah.
Fucking great.
Well, he loses this shit because we've seen the blood mist.
We've talked about it a couple of times.
We've started to see the blood plants start to come up.
And then like, he's like, look over here, Tom Cruise.
And the fucking, the blood's mist is going.
He's like, not my blood kind of a thing.
Yes.
You won't get my blood.
Right.
Take my blood.
I don't know.
They drink us and they spray us like fertilizer.
Don't you give your blood all the time anyway?
I do, yeah.
So what's the difference?
This is where he's like, oh, I'm going to dig a tunnel from the Hudson Valley back to the city and we can fight the aliens together.
And then this is the, we're the resistance, Ray.
They can't occupy the country.
That's fucking insane.
I mean, where they are, like Athens, New York, that's probably like 130, 40 miles from the city.
It's as ridiculous as when the Ninja Turtles snowboarded all the way back to the city in that one Michael Bay movie.
That was egregious.
It'd be great.
If Morgan Freeman broke back in an handicap digging until he got to the Hudson Valley.
Honestly, pepper him back in at this point. Why not?
He headed, the aliens didn't know that he was there because he hit it behind a Rock Hell Welch post, you understand.
Ray just told him to be quiet. He didn't strangle him at all.
But then this is, speaking of Ray fucking strangling or whatever it goes on.
This is the other, like, great facial expression from Tom.
He's like, oh, my God, I'm going to kill him.
And, like, he puts the, the, the, the, blindness.
That is so good.
Just sing your song.
Whatever you, whatever you hear from me in there, don't take that off.
I will take the bandana off for you.
It'd be so great if, uh, comes out, takes off the bandana and it's olger, olgary.
Tim Robbins, like, well, I'm you dead now.
Oh, yeah, you're five foot five father's death.
You're like, Pete Schnaps.
He fucked around and he found out.
So here we are.
But, yeah, it's a cool thing of the, the door closed.
You know what I mean?
I just love that we don't fucking see this.
We don't have to sit through a clunky,
darkly lit basement fight scene.
Yeah,
where we're saying a bunch of garbage dialogue.
It's classy.
It's nice.
It's a little class.
It is nice.
But him just walking out and he just sits on those stairs.
It's cool the way they do it, though.
They start with the boots.
And it's just boots walking through a puddle.
You don't know whose legs you're looking at.
And you're like, all right, well, it is Tom Cruise, of course.
But there is a nice moment there where they play with it a little bit.
Oh, I could spot it.
Yeah, size six shoes.
but the snake arm like kind of comes back in and then this is where tom beats it with a shovel
yes it looks a little flight of the navigator as well yeah oh yeah that's a stay tuned
flight of the navigator yeah yeah camera last time yeah i've never seen it sarah jessica parker's in it
too yeah and also a little boy i get that one and peewee herman that and its floors always get
mixed up.
I've actually never seen either.
We haven't, oh, we got to do both of those.
Yeah, Explorers is nuts.
Is Explorers the Ethan Hawk movies?
Yeah, Joe Dante.
Yes.
My least favorite, though, Dante.
But still, interesting movie.
I think it's interesting.
Yeah, I saw it a bunch as a kid.
Me too.
I really like when,
so Rachel runs outside at that point,
so he runs out after her,
and like, the whole landscape here is just,
everything's decimated,
the valley's just fucking dead,
and everything is red.
Rachel, just cover your mouth.
Don't breathe at it.
Don't eat any.
it. It's not cinnamon rain.
Somebody pointed out
it's the exact shot of when
what's
from
Wizard of Oz when she opens
the door and
Oz for the first time
through the door
shot. Can I play an album to this fucking movie?
You might be able to. You might be able to. Yeah, who knows?
Converges Jane Doe.
You just lay it right on there. Same thing.
This is the beginning of Deus X.
Grenades.
Hell yes
That got all these grenades were around
But I do love
I mean these
This all the stuff with the tripod art
Looks great
I love how it looks when like
The tripod comes along
Like fucking King Kong
Picks this girl up
And just like starts walking away
And Tom of course
Gets caught up in it as well here
And right he sacrifices himself
To try to get abducted to try to save her
I just want to cut to the two military guys
Like ah you fucking dumb aliens
Gary hit him with your grenades
Oh shit
Where did I put the
He's all suddenly smoking ash
Oh yeah you didn't expect a good oh he's dead
Okay oh boy
I do love the hey you motherfucker like
Throwing the first grenade and then it hits the little
Force field that it's got and the tripod turns like the fuck you say to me
A lot of people are saying stuff
This is I mean this is the kid is totally catatonic in this cage right here
This is a broken child forever
Oh yeah
No amount of seeing Mommy up and Bean Town is going to fix this damage.
No, no.
It's like a kid who saw what happened at the little ranch thing in Nope.
Oh, that's just normal.
Good news is mommy's starting over.
That's right.
A brand new fan, dude.
New kid on the way.
But this, so Tom has taken up and like,
the only way I was able to describe this to myself was it's like a reverse asshole.
Yeah, it's a reverse asshole for sure.
Because like a tentacle comes out of this thing and pulls people into it.
but it just it looks like
something's going into an asshole
it's like a reverse shitting it's like an active
asshole yeah it's like it's gripping it takes grip
to be fair we don't know maybe enlightenment's up there
it's possible you know what I mean you go through there
and then now you know more that weird
the bug-eyed fuck from
oh what was that cult there
the ball's gate yeah yeah yeah yeah he probably
you know could have made a 60 people believe this
and he had some good ideas I mean the black
Black Nike's were sharp.
Yeah.
Not bad.
I mean, as far as, like, cult outfits go, not too bad.
Yeah.
Because you can, you know, you're in your cult meeting and then you go right to the gym.
You don't even have to change.
Man, the guy was clearly convincing.
I mean, it got all those people to do it.
I mean, I don't think it's...
There was a doc somewhere about...
It was because it was actually him and another woman who were the perpetrators of it.
And it was this whole, like, you're going to live forever by being with us and blah, blah, blah.
And we're invincible because we're in this cult.
And then that woman who was the co-founder of it died of cancer.
And so it was like, well, how do I explain this?
Better get to suicide faster than I planned.
I thought you said there was a doc around.
They couldn't help her.
I'm kidding.
Documentary.
But so it's funny, though, it's a very Tom Cruise movie.
One, I think it's a lady just gets sucked up and everyone's like, see you bitch.
And then like, when it happens to Tom Cruise, everyone's like, no, Tom Cruise.
Well, the army guy sees the grenades, I see.
Uh-huh.
Because it is, it's very specifically an army guy who gets him.
Yes.
And the guy, he's yelled, all right.
Now pull me. He has to explain to people this thing.
He's like, come on, you should pick up, pick it up here.
Like, you pull this guy down.
And I love that Tom falls back.
He lands on his belly and spits out the pins of the grenades, dude.
Oh, it's pretty cool.
Like a high school girl spitting out a cherry stem.
I see.
What do you know about my prom day?
Let's just make her a college girl and get over it, Chris.
Let's age her up a little bit.
You think cigarette is of age.
That's an interesting point of view.
I hope so.
My God, if I'm sounding like this, I'd better be at least above 18 or I've got problems.
That's what the license says at least.
She hangs out with Patty Maynames.
Who also sounds like that.
Just a couple of preteen smokers.
We got one.
We got one.
This thing collapses.
They all fall.
Yeah, it's pretty cool here.
But yeah, then we just walk the rest of the way.
of Boston, which would be exhausting.
And I'm glad we don't have to sit through that.
That's crazy. That's got to be days
and days and days. At least. Yeah.
So five months and he's like...
I thought for a guy who's like sort of
featured walking behind Tom in the one
like, we're pulling into town
shot here. I checked it.
It's not him. But I could have sworn
it was the guy who played
the Susan's
foundation scholarship kid.
Oh, okay.
That George is like, oh, you're
want to be an architect and he's like, no, city
planner, and then he gets involved with the Van Buren boys.
I thought it was that guy. That would be cool.
Yeah, not him, though.
We see the aliens are getting a little E.T.
at the end of E.T.
The branches are turning white, you know what I mean?
Exactly. We're getting all fucking crusty looking just like E.T.
When the government messed with him that one time.
But Tom Cruise is smart.
He's like, oh, they're dying. Maybe, sort of kind of,
there's this tunnel thing and there's the, you know.
The ship already fell.
when that happens they walk past a ship that has fallen into a building
and they're like it's been acting erratic we're in boston clearly someone got the tripod drunk
i don't know who did it i want to hear who was it somebody tell me who got it through the
who got the fucking a keystone light past the fucking the shield i want to know who did it
hey tripod i could say some real nasty slurs to you but i'm in a stevens beerberg movie so i'm not
You know what? Take me up in there.
I'll whisper it in your year once I'm in your reverse asshole.
All the aliens, millions of years of planning, couldn't account for St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah, they beat these fucking things down.
They're so drunk.
They walk past the one that fell into a thing.
There's just drop kick Murphy's sign, spray painted on it.
Hey, Sally, come over here.
We're pissing on one of the dead ones.
Unfortunately, for the aliens, a Bruins game had just let out.
It was a perfect storm.
there is one that's still
like alive and
Tom Cruise has to point out to the military
that there's birds going on it
so it's got no force field
no shields he's yelling
yeah so he saves the day
dude these rocket launches at this thing
and when they fucking get it down it falls
into this factory this perfectly fine
factory that has survived
to the horrors of the war of the world
and then our own government
destroys it hell yeah pretty great
an alien comes out
is like, ah, fuck, he's dead.
I love, though, that they, like, this thing falls over.
They basically flush the toilet on these people.
Because, like, all this brown, orange water falls out of this thing, and then the guy gets out, like, sorry about that.
By the way, do not go in there.
I thought that was orange soda.
I was drinking it.
I spilled it when his fucking tripod crashed.
My big goal.
My planet crush.
Don't bother, Sully.
It doesn't get you drunk.
It just kind of makes you sick.
not in a good way
you'll be shitting for days
it was horrible
no you don't escape your troubles
at all no no no no no you just
kind of feel sick in your tummy
yeah so they do watch that one
and he does kind of like turn a little
one like a blah
you know sort of like a video game
takes one breath of air
he fucking gets some Boston air
but then
we're reuniting with mom
just walking up here
to this it's a street in Brooklyn
Oh, my God, my children.
You are getting a hotel tonight, right?
You're not, no, no, you're not staying here, right, Ray?
No, you're not staying here.
Oh, we're all full up with the couch and everything.
We'd love to have you, but...
Oh, but you know how dad gets.
Alien invasion or no, you know how dad gets.
Yeah, I would love to let you use the shower, but...
You know what, though?
He is smart about it because he does not even bother.
He stays a clean 50 feet away from that building.
thing because that's what his ex-father-in-law's restraining order demands of him.
He sees Doreen, his mother-in-law, his former mother-in-law, he knows what's going on.
He knows not to even try.
Smart man.
You're not perfect enough for my daughter.
You're not Tim.
Tim is beautiful.
Oh, there you are, Tim.
Oh, beautiful, Tim.
Hello.
Look at him.
Just look at him.
He's alive.
So, this dickhead son's alive and well.
What are you going to do?
He runs right for dead.
You're right.
I guess he's a fireproof.
And then you may remember me from the beginning of the movie.
I'm back to tell you now that all the planning in the world couldn't make up with the fact
there were gross, dirty, germy people down here and they just couldn't hang with us.
They came in contact with Celtics fans and that was it.
That was how it ended.
Which is a great twist for, you know, 1930.
It's better than the data being food, though, I think.
Well, I didn't see that once.
The update ate better, dude.
I haven't seen it.
I can't judge it.
This is, I mean, it's, I like, as a, as a, I like War of the Worlds as a property.
I don't, I don't, you know, I, you know, I, you can not like it.
It's okay to not like it.
It's a light recommend.
There you go.
So we already started it.
Chris Cabin.
A heavy recommend.
I think this movie is great.
I, I really think he did something unique with it.
It's not like the other adaptations of War of the Worlds.
If you look at, including the Ice Cube version, which is horrible.
There was some like two season.
TV show that went for like three years or something.
It's got to be public domain at this point, as my
guess. The novel's like 1890
something. That makes sense. I think
it's one of, I like
this, this is a good double head.
Munich and this are some of his darker
movies, I think, because I think part of this
is Tom Cruise being like, I'm not a family
man. I make movies about me being
awesome. I'm sorry. That's what
I do. I don't save people. I don't
do that. I do this stuff.
And like, it's in the movie.
I love that about it.
I think it's the effects, the, the, the weird sheen that the, the, the technicolor like aura that they have over the thing.
It's just an incredible look.
It just, nothing looks like this.
It's, I really am.
I'm, I'm bald over by this movie.
I can't pull the dude's name out of my head at the moment with the guy who did the effects for this.
This was, I think the last movie he did to, like, retire.
And he was like, I did some of the best effects work of my life in this movie.
And it was like, rushed as fuck.
So I'm never going to top that.
And he was like, I'm out.
Him and Kaminsky.
Absolutely.
Knocked it out of the park.
Steve Sadek.
Yeah, the movie looks good.
I am with Eric on this one.
I'm very light recommend.
It's not a bad movie by any stretch, but it's just, I really just feel like this movie
just runs out of narrative gas.
Like the first hour is really kind of exciting and interesting and all that stuff.
And I just, I do think that the sun being there is a cop out.
And I know whatever about the novel and the street being perfect and like this
idealic way of getting out of it.
I just think it's, it feels like a Spielbergian cop out to me, even though it might be in the source material as well.
You changed other stuff.
You can change other stuff too.
Long story short, it's a light, light, light recommend.
I just kind of, I kind of get bored too towards the end of it as well.
That's, that's kind of where I'm at.
All right.
Yeah, no, I'd recommend it.
I didn't think I would, funny enough.
I didn't like it when I saw him through it.
I think you might remember.
I think we saw it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we thought it go.
And I was, I was just less than lukewarm on it.
But I don't know, age, whatever.
I would say different things now.
When I saw it the first time, the kid
being out of dead, that bothered me more.
Coming back to it, it didn't
at all. It just wasn't there. This is a good lesson.
Like, folks at home, it's okay to change
your opinion. Just because you didn't like the last
Jedi in 2017.
Doesn't mean you have to still fucking talk about it.
You could maybe take another look.
Yeah. And this goes for any movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's been so many other movies
that I've changed my mind on as well. Yeah, I know.
One last thing, very funny,
which I didn't notice the only other time I saw it
because I left the theater immediately in a huff.
Fucking funniest credit here.
Fake bodies by Steve Johnson.
So the mannequin guy got a credit.
I like that.
Real bodies by the moonlit killer.
Fuck you, take that town.
That is going to do it for this episode of We Hate Movies.
But as always, if you'd like more from us,
including commercial-free episodes of shows,
just like the very one,
you are finishing listening to right now,
head over to our Patreon.
That's patreon.com slash we hate movies,
where if you're new to this program,
every Tuesday we release a We Hate Movies episode
on the commercial feed and the Patreon free feed.
But then also, there is a whole slew, a host,
a gaggle of bonus shows that we produce every month
or in some cases every other month.
Like earlier this, actually it was just last week, as a matter of fact,
we release an episode on Minority Report.
It's We Love Movies.
So we did that.
If you were listening to this on the day it comes out, which is the 9th of June, which is a Tuesday.
Big week here in the W.H.M. Universe because the 11th, this Thursday, Jackassmentary number two.
That's right.
We covered jackass number two for our next commentary track.
That's coming out on Thursday.
And then Friday, once in a lifetime, Chris Cabin.
What is this movie?
We were talking about the wrong daughter, which is one of two Sydney-Sweeney lifetime vehicles.
This is technically lifetime.
We checked it out.
she's playing crazy pants
killer fucking infiltrator
she's getting the
one over on a mother who's just looking
for her lost daughter and she finds the wrong daughter
oh hell yes
I was really worried I would get the wrong daughter
and look what happened
yeah very excited for that next week
also Melro 210 that's a show that Eric mentioned already
we cover episodes of Beverly Hills 90210
and Melrose place
indeed. We're done with no more baby stealing.
We're under cancer with Melrose at least.
And cult shit.
Colchit as well. And they're in college on 90210 now.
So that's an interesting environment change.
Brenda is back.
So yeah, we're going episode by episode there.
So season four of 902 and season three of Melrose Place.
Now next week, Steve, an animation damnation is afoot.
Yes.
So last week we did Master's the Universe.
We were doing the He-Man Cartoon.
tune from the 80s. This episode
has multiple skeletors in it.
Just what we needed.
What did you say?
Precisely. Light of that. Next week, also
this month, Star Wars Gleep Glossary
comes out. That's right. We're going to be talking about
Moth Gerr-Jarad,
who was the guy in,
I'm clearing my throat. He was the guy
in Return of the Jedi that goes, the Emperor's coming
here. Oh, that guy. The guy in charge
of the second Death Star. I was thinking of
Sam Gerard for a second.
Well, anyway, the
not that
but the actor just passed
so I thought we'd honor him on the Gleap Glosser
Go get him. There we go
and also at the end of this month we'll be
releasing our next episode of The Nexus
which is our 10 years running Star Trek
Recap show which is the perfect
time to mention come catch us in Las Vegas
this summer at STLV the biggest
Star Trek convention in the world. They're celebrating
60 years of Trek we're celebrating
10 years of the Nexus coming together doing a
three-night residency at the DeForest Kelly
Theater in the Rio where
the convention is happening.
Three nights, three different movies we're talking about.
We're talking Star Trek the wrath of Khan.
We're talking Star Trek generations.
And we're talking Star Trek first contact.
Do not need convention passes.
No, you don't.
These are separately ticketed events.
So come to Vegas, get drunk, do whatever you want, make some mistakes with us and see us,
which is not a mistake.
That's right.
And that's happening.
August 6 through the 8th, all of that information can be found over on our website for the tickets.
Now the summer blockbuster extravaganza is in full swing at this point.
Steve Sadek, what's on the docket next Tuesday?
Oh, it's a big summer blockbuster.
We're doing Chuck Norris's top dog.
Oh, hell yeah.
So like canine, but worse.
Yes, much worse.
I don't, I'm trying to remember now.
I think I've seen this, but not recently.
Oh, it's trash.
Oh, it's really bad.
It's 86 minutes of trash.
This dog is not talking?
I don't think so.
But I think it's got a purpose.
personality on him. Oh, I'm sure he does. But if you read the IMDB plot synopsis, it's written as if
the dog is the main character, because it's basically like, when so-and-so, the police dog
loses his partner in the line of duty, he's partnered with Chuck Norris. That's what the
main character gets. Yikes. It's been a while since I've seen it, so we'll see. So we'll see.
And you know what you should see also? Yeah. We're talking about it. We got all these podcasts that
released. But there's also a lot of fun, clip and real video content on our social media. Yes, we are
finally on TikTok.
You are.
So you can check us out there on TikTok at WHM Podcast.
We're also on Instagram at WHM Podcast.
And YouTube,
this is we hate movies on YouTube,
all one word. So subscribe and start sharing those clips
because, you know, they're great, honestly.
And they're fun little ways like the flashback
ones we do are great because it's like,
I don't remember that fucking bit from seven years ago.
And now you can enjoy it and share it round.
And it's fantastic.
Just another way you can take in all the laughs and jokes here at We Have Movies.
So until next week, when that dog may or may not be talking, but he definitely has an attitude.
I've been Andrew Jupin.
Eric Siski.
Chris Cabin.
Take it easy.
