We Hate Movies - S16 Ep869: Top Dog (1995)

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

“He makes Steven Seagal look like Robert De Niro“ - EricOn this week’s show, we’re chatting about the totally insane Chuck Norris-partnered-with-a-dog movie, Top Dog! How is this dog still alive with all the doughnuts this old man is feeding him? Has there ever been a less-convincing hangover performance than what we see at the start of this movie? Wait, this dog was shot five times in the line of duty? How hilarious is that guy’s freakout during the scene at the Mexican border? And how in the world is there this much white supremacy chatter in an otherwise silly dog movie? PLUS: The gang hunts for the closest Blimpie’s! Top Dog stars Chuck Norris, Michele Lamar Richards, Erik von Detten, Carmine Caridi, Clyde Kusatsu, Kai Wulff, Peter Savard Moore, Timothy Bottoms, Francesco Quinn, Herta Ware, Eileen Bowman, and Betty the Dog as Reno; directed by Aaron Norris.This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Hey, y'all, before we get to today's episode on, wait, what does that say? Chuck Norris's top dog. Ugh. I just wanted to give you my three favorite Star Trek quotes. In the three Star Trek movies we're going to be talking about this summer. First up, Star Trek 2, The Wrath of Khan, that's got to be Khan played by the great Ricardo Montalban going, from hell's heart, I stab at thee. Pretty good, right?

I think in Star Trek Generations it absolutely has to be right when Captain Kirk is about to cross over as it were. Shatner just looks up at the sky, just goes oh my, classic. And then, no

question about it, Star Trek First Contact, Sir Patrick Stewart, please take it away. The line must be drawn here. This far, no further. Oh, hell yeah. That's right, folks. Join us this summer at STLV, the world's biggest and most badass Star Trek convention. We're celebrating 10 years of the Nexus with a three-night stand in Las Vegas.

Join us, August 6th, August 7th, and August 8th at STLV, going on at the Rio. Out there in Vegas, we are going to be performing at the DeForest Kelly Theater. Look, this is going to be a ton of fun, y'all. You do not need to have a convention pass or credentials to attend these shows. They're separately ticketed, so you can just go to our website, WHMpodcast.com. Find all the ticketing information you need right there. is going to be so much fun. We're super excited. STLV is celebrating 60 years

of the amazing Star Trek, and we're celebrating 10 years of our pretty fun Star Trek recap show, The Nexus. All information again at WHM Podcast.com. Rath of Khan, Generations First Contact, Star Trek 60, The Nexus 10.

We're going to have a lot of fun this summer. Cool, man. This week on the program, well, we certainly didn't expect this much Nazi talk in a K-9 cop movie. It's top Dog. I'm Andrew Jupin. Woof, woof, I'm Stephen Seda. Top Eric Siska.

Oh, Chris Gavin. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to WeA. Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine podcast this day, because that's right. The summer blockbuster extravaganza 2026 is rolling on. And because this was a last-minute

replacement, we're talking about Chuck Norris and Top Dog from 1995, directed by his younger brother Aaron Norris. Coming to his screaming halt with Aaron Norris' top dog really just coming to a bit.

All, all, all, all wheels just breaking at the same time. Would you say it's rough stuff? Like a dog? It is. That was one thought I had while watching this, Eric. I'd rather be picking up shit than watching this movie. I'll tell you that much.

I'll tell you. Also, with all the white supremacist stuff, this movie is like American History Rex. Am I wrong? There we go. Remember to curb your dogs, okay? That's what that means, right? Yeah. I also have my notes,

bone of interest, if that's doing anything for anybody. Oh, bone of interest, not too bad. You know, they had some of those in the zone of interest.

Yeah, no way. Schnauzer's list I had. Good Lord. How about bottom dog for this? You know? Well, because the top dog in this movie

is Reno the cop dog. The bottom dog is Chuck Norris, the Chuck Norris dog. Yes. But he's just, man. Before we get too far, I just want to find out who's top dog here

by hitting play real quickly. Oh, no. There it is. Oh, boy. How did I not see this coming? It is the VHS trailer game, America's favorite game, but obsolete materials.

A game box office legend Bruce Stern once said was, I'm sure it's a game that four simpletons can play it one time. We are those four Simultons, Bruce Dern. We are insulted by the King of Marvin Gardens. I think that movie made $100 million back in the day. It should have. That's a great fucking good movie.

It is a good movie. Hell yeah. Is he the titular King of Marvin Gardens? I don't know if it's him or Jack Nicholson. They're battling for. Someone's riding a horse on the beach at the end of that movie. Yeah. And Jack Nelson's wearing glaciers.

because he's a nerd, you understand. This is, we are kind of rounding third base here in the season of the VHS trailer game, and Andrew's kind of running away with it. Really? We've got Eric with 31 points. Can I give those to Andrew? No, you shouldn't. Chris is 39.

Hello. And Andrews got 53. So again, this is a real situation. I like that. Something new, huh, Chris? Yeah. You've won this. That's what I'm saying. It's not me. It's not you. So we are going to do this as we always do. You know how it goes.

I'm going to ask some questions. Got a fun little bonus game coming up too. Steve gives the best bonuses. The best bonuses. It is indeed. All right. So here we go. Round one.

Okay. Game Masters Kalu. This infamous box office disaster tried to resurrect an adornment action subgenre, which indeed was resurrected by Disney eight years later. This was directed by the star's husband and kind of killed her career.

Whoa, okay. Andrew? Cutthroat Island. It is cutthroat island. Very good. It was like on the tip of my tongue. I was like the Gina Davis movie that fucked her. What is it called? Yeah, the pirates. Yeah. You know, in my mind I went to like sword and sorcery or something.

So I was trying to think down that avenue. But no, pirates, good call. I mean, swords. I'm swords you were right. Yeah, that's true. Not boots instead of I've only seen that once. I mean, we should definitely do it one of these days. I've never seen it actually. Oh, really?

I remember, I think I, like, had rented it and then, like, I played hooky from school the next day. Oh, wow. And then watched it. And my father came home early and looked so disappointed in me. But come on. She's got a bountiful bosom in that movie. Yeah. Learned a lot more there that day than school.

That's the movie that, like, officially killed Carolco, right? Yes. That's the order like, did it, yeah. I want to say they're bankrupt. During it or something, or like shortly after. Reni Harle, tribute, trivia, which we don't need. But Reddy Harlan spent $1 million of his own money to rewrite the script. Curlco isn't so much debt.

They could not afford it. Always a good sign when you're making a movie. Okay. That's tough. Round two. Sure. Game Masters Kalu. Okay.

This George Lucas-esque sci-fi adventure riff was quickly eclipsed by the success of the writer and director's team's next sci-fi blockbuster two years later this title is better remembered as the low-rent TV show it inspired.

This George Lucas-esque sci-fi adventure was quickly eclipsed by the success of the writer and directing team's next sci-fi blockbuster two years later. This is probably remembered as the low-rent TV show that it ain't in aspired.

I'm swinging at nothing here. And this is early 90s, is that right? Like 94-ish. Huh. Okay. I'm going on to kick it. Yeah. In trivia.

Rick Moranis was offered to play the role of Dr. Daniel Jackson, but turn it down to do work on the Flintstones in 1994 and also Little Giants in 1994. Ooh. So Rick Moranis could have been in this. movie is Dr. Daniel Jackson. The iconic role of Dr. Daniel Jackson.

You know, all the greats, Indiana Jones, Dr. Daniel Jackson. Chris Cabin. Is this lost in space? It is not lost in space. Tagline, it will take you a million light years from home, but will it bring you back?

Remember, George Lucas-esque sci-fire riff. So this was a full-on movie. It came out in like 94 that then became a TV show that's more famous than the movie. Or, yeah, or just more well-remembered. A low-rent TV show. Remember, it's low-rent. The TV show thing is what's tripping me up because I thought I had it, but I was like, no, there was definitely not a that TV show.

Okay, so here we go. Shit. Okay. We go to star number two, and this might get it. James Spader. Oh, I didn't like you. Eric's sister. Stargate.

I, yeah, I'm surprised. You're a Stargate expert here. But yes. Oh, my God. expecting anyone to remember the Stargate TV shows existed. What are you talking about? That thing was on the air last year. I know it as SG1 or whatever.

I know the thing that they make it a dude, but I'm just telling, I'm here to tell you, I never met a soul who's watched a second of it. I think it's a tax scam. So what was their bigger movie two years after Stargate? Independence Day. Oh, the same team did that.

Devlin and Amric. Oh, I forgot. I forgot. Got to go back to that movie. That movie kind of came. kicks ass. Stargate? Yeah. Oh yeah. I kind of agree. A lot of fun. It's super fun. Previous episode, I think.

Yes. Okay. So here we go. Wolf, we're going to the dog house. Oh, God. I thought we were already there. Yeah. Oh. And so basically the way this is going to work. Okay. I am going every, the answer to every one of these has a, the title of the movie has the word dog in it. Now, that is, that could be a part of it.

of a word, like, you know, if that Nickelodeon show Cat Dog Dogg was a movie, that could be an answer. Or, you know, if Dilbert's buddy Dogbert was also a movie, that would be an, so like, it could be part of it, could be part of the subtitle. The way this is going to work is, I'm going to ask each one of you, five of these clues, you get two points for everyone you get right. So we got 15 of these to get through. F-Y-I, the way this is going to work is I'm going to give you the year. Every time I give you the year, you need to say director or actor. And I will either give you the director or the actor. And then based on that information, you give me the movie that has dog in the title. There doesn't have to be dogs in the movie. There is a, we're D-O-G in order in the title is the way that's going to work. Okay. So not, oh, God, you devil. No, exactly.

We're not doing anagrams. So, yes. But if it's part, like, if DOG is part of another word. It is, it is in the title. Yeah. Oh, my God. All right. So here we go.

Now these are, it's like, each of, of us gets five. There's no stealing or racing. No buzzing in. We're going to go with Chris first. This is all randomized. So nobody got easier ones or harder ones. So basically, again, Chris, so 2002, do you want the director or the actor for the 2002 movie that has Dog in the title? I want the star. Cuba Gooding Jr. in 2002 was in a movie with Dog in the title. It's Snow Dogs. It is Snow Dogs. It is Snow Dogs. It is. That's two points for Chris Cabin. So here we go.

All right. Watch that on a bus one time. Here we go. 2003. But the road was right there. You're going to count the blue cars. Do the fish walla. Yeah.

All right. 2003, do you want the director or the actor? Go with actor again. We're going to go with Nicole Kidman. 2003, the word dogs in the title for Nicole Kidman. Now, that doesn't like, it has a, has to be in, like, has, DOG has to be in sequence,

or can it be all over? You know, it's, it's an, it's an, the word dog is in the title. Okay. It might be, you know, dog, you know, whatever, you know, but it's DOG. We're not doing it. DOG comes in order, though.

Yes. In the word of the title. 2003, Nicole Kidman. And I need your answer in a second. Okay. Give me a second here. Mm-hmm. Almost said birthday dog, but that's not.

I love you. Can we write birthday dog? I don't know what it would be yet, but the title alone, trademark, trademark. A dog looking over a cake of the post or something.

I don't got it. Dogville. If you asked for the director, I would have said Lars Vatrier. Then I would have known it. This is the trick of it. Do you want the director or do you want the actor? We wrote in 1997.

Ninety-7. Director or actor? Go actor again. That's going to be Robert De Niro. 1997, dog in the title. Robert De Niro. This is a tough game. Is that mad dog in glory?

It is not mad dog in glory yet. It is Wag the Dog. It is Wag the Dog. He's in two dog movies. Here we go. 1998, Chris. 98, okay. Let's go for

Let's go for the star again. Yes, good call. Patrick Swayze. Oh, that's Black Dog. That's Black Dog, because I would have said Kevin Hooks is the director. You would have been fucked.

That would have been really bad. Apologies to Kevin Hooks listening right now. All right. Last one for you, your 2006 director or actor actor again what the hell Emil Hirsch Neil Hirsch Neil Hurd

It is not birthday dog It's not a real movie No it's not birthday dog Oh no What will I do now Meal Hirsch shit This is a really tough game I'm gonna get all these wrong

No I don't go It's Alpha Dog Oh yeah Remember Alpha Dog? Yes, gentlemen? Dude, that's all Alpha Dog in the theater. Would you have gotten it if I said if you got guest director and got Cassavetti? No.

Oh, no, no, no. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Alpha Dog got buried as soon as I saw it. That was. Yeah, it's true. Okay. So, Andrew Juppet.

It's your turn, big man. Okay. The year is 1989. What do you want, director or actor? Ooh, 1989. I, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's try actor first. Yeah, that rubs me.

Dom del Louise. Dom, Dom, Dom Deloese. 1989, you say? Yes. Mm-hmm. Is he doing a voice in all dogs go to heaven? He is doing the voice and all dogs go to heaven.

There it is. Nice. That's one I can't watch. Saw that once out a sleepover in the first grade and never again. Well, I mean, it's a comedy classic. Dude, Bert Reynolds, Bert Reynolds gives an amazing vocal performance. Oh, does he?

Oh, it'll fucking crush you, dude. I'm dying of cancer I'm a dog Yeah we got a ticket up to heaven Yep Before I go Can I smell your butt one last time My kidney's not working

It's a weird thing Where like the little girl Who voiced the little girl in the movie Had like died And then he had to go redo dialogue As if he was talking to her And like he's really crying in the studio Because the girl was dead

Yeah, it's fucking crazy. They should kill more of his co-stars. Some good actors. I don't think it makes much difference now. All right. Yeah, that's true. All right. 2002, Andrew Jubin, do you want the director or the act?

2002, a dog movie in 2002? Or dog in the title in 2002? Oh, I just, I don't want to get fucked by the director, but let's go director. Oh, Neil Marshall. Oh, Neil Marshall. Dog. Neil, I probably saw it, too. Neil Marshall

I think Chris has got it Dog Oh no he doesn't Let's say like sleeping dogs I don't know Dog soldiers Oh fuck that Soldiers

Yeah A werewolf yeah I've still never seen Pretty good I kind of like that movie Yeah it's pretty pretty okay A 1993 director or actor Let's go back to actor

Robert De Niro Oh Well this this must be Mad Dog and Glory It is indeed mad dog in glory Okay 1996 Director or Actor

Director or Actor 96 Yeah let's go actor again Uma Thurman Truth about cats and dogs Boom look at this Nice Clean sweep going here

And then 2018 Oh 2008 Oh 2018 Yeah let's go to actor again I don't know if a director would help here Brian Cranston

It's not Trumbo Are you sure? That sounds like a dog's name Trump, stop, stop. Trumbo get in here. Drumbo go in here. Roll over on your comrades, Trambo. Man, so 2018, the Cran Man,

dog in the title. I don't got it. Isle of Dogs. Oh, he doesn't voice. That's where a director would have been good. See, there you go. You never know. Eric Siskits, your turn.

I'm getting them all. I think I got like two out of both of those rounds. So get ready for a lot of misses. 2011 director or actor. Actor. Brandon Routh. Oh,

Dylan Dog, dead of night. Absolutely correct. Killing it. I was like, I know he saw that thing. Of course. 2005, director or actor? Let's go. Actor. Heath Ledger. Keith Ledger.

Oh my God, he didn't even make that many movies. I'm the dog Joker. Yeah. You want to know how I got this collar? I mix up the movie that this answer is with another movie that's already been mentioned in this round. Oh. Birthday dog. It's not birthday dog.

I didn't get it. Lords of Dogtown. Oh, okay. Yes. I should have known. I don't think I've seen that, though. No, I think I saw like half of it once. It was just okay.

I thought it was a pretty okay movie. I think I saw the documentary. Yeah, the dog is better. Lords of Dogtown. Or Darktown and Z-Boys is the dog? Yes. Anyway. 2009, director or actor?

Actor? Good job because the director's a landmine. I've never heard of this guy before. It is Robin Williams. 2009. Oh, old dogs? It is old dog. Nice.

You would not have. gotten Walt Becker. That wouldn't have helped you much at all. Oh, got yourself a birthday dog there. Exactly. All right. Here we go. Two more.

1999 director or actor? Let's go actor. It's been working. Forest Whitaker. Ghost dog. Yes. Boom. And lastly, 1999 yet again, your final one.

I'll do director. I'll do director just to switch up. Oh, there you. go. Good call. Kevin Smith. Oh my God. Damn, but why am I farting on this now? Recently re-released on 4K.

I was going to say Jersey. Oh, dogma. Dogma. It was fun to say Jersey dog, but that was a girl. You've got dog, which is good. And Ma, which is also good. I can't believe I got these. I can't believe I got them. You fucking smoke that run, brother. That's a VHS trailer game for this month. There it is. I fucking love it. You what I also love?

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Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash WHM. That's RocketMoney.com slash WHM. One more time, RocketMoney.com slash WHM. That stands for We Hate Movies. We could fill a whole month with Aaron Norris' what I'm calling Chuck Flicks. Please.

Because check this shit out. Braddock, colon, missing in action three. He could stay missing. Delta Force 2 colon, the Columbian connection. Okay. The hit man. Previous episode's sidekicks. Hellbound, which is that demon movie he's in.

Okay. And then Forest Warrior, where he plays a shape shifting something or other. Wow. I got to see that Forest one. I have not seen Forest Warrior, baby. I can't wait. Is Aaron Norris, like, has he directed stuff that his brother was not in? A few, few things.

But he got into, like, the stunts racket. Yeah. Working all the way up to even, like, Ant Man and more modern things. Dude, I got to watch Hellbound. This looks fucking dope. Two Chicago cops, Chuck Norris and Calvin Levis investigated murder that until they account an ancient demon. I like this. Yeah, sounded pretty interesting.

But the problem, here's the thing, though, with fun Chuck Norris movies in quotation marks, RIP by the way, written rest in something. It's just, he's so bad at acting. Like, it's just, it's like, it is, and I finally put it together, he's like in the Simpsons episode with Lee Carvello's putting challenge. I am Carvello. Come on, son. How's that going to affect your putting? That is the level of line delivery.

He makes Stephen Seagall look like Robert De Niro. He does. He really does. He really does. And I have to say, like, I've mentioned this elsewhere over the years. I'm still very Norris ignorant. He never appealed to me. And then, like, the memes and all that shit in, like, the early aughts and onward just, like, made it so much fucking worse.

But, like, it's astounding. discovering now as a 42-year-old man just how bad of an actor this dude was. He's terrible. The thing that is strange about him is that like unlike Seagall and most other action heavyweights is he actually like infects the movie.

Like every like the movie becomes worse with him and like Seagal can be in a movie that is otherwise well made like under siege is otherwise a pretty good movie, I think. And it doesn't get infected by Seagal the way that

every single Norris movie is infected by him and all of a sudden everything doesn't work. Nothing works. Like this movie, it's amazing. This movie is one of those things that you would think, you know, put a fucking quarter it, this thing works. You know, you get your fucking cousin in to fucking direct it.

And that's fine. And it'll be good and everything. Even this, even this is somehow turned into a complete fuckup. Because, of him. Two things. One, I love the spice that you're putting on infected by the way. That's fantastic. But I think one of the, I mean, it's not just Chuck's problem with this. Although I think like if there was a more

charismatic lead here, you could just like laugh the whole time and it would be fine instead of all these like clunkers. But like the weird thing to me too is like you think of a movie like canine, right? That's Jim Belushi. He's partnered with the dog, but it's like microchips and a big so-and-so businessman. This is like worldwide global terror fucking, like coast-to-coast racism, like a race war is going to break out. And then it's also like a little kid's on a bicycle riding to play with his dog.

These two things. It's like peanut butter and fucking mayonnaise. Only a Norris movie could have one of its first images be a newspaper with the headline. Skinheads attack. Rabbi in Park. And that is the first shot of your dog movie. The dog not movie you're making.

Did anyone else have a game with themselves or a bet with themselves whether or not the N-word would be uttered by these Nazis? Because I was like, are we going to go for it here, guys? I thought about it. I thought about it. It would have been crazy. I mean, we do get a slur against Hispanic people. Yes, we do.

And you're right. This is insane that they would put this heavy of a plot. white supremacist bombers into a children's movie about a cop paired with a dog it's wild it just no i'm just like norris makes that so he's the only one who would allow a so gall would not allow that he just knows not to do that what's crazy too chris is like in 15 years from this movie's release norris would probably be advocating for the other side that is kind of the funniest part about this is like watching this now you're like did you think about Top Dog at all the last like five to ten years of your life, dude?

Those gentlemen are just passionate about voter rolls. That's what's going on. Learn the lessons you were trying to teach from Top Dog, please. But also, like, the thing about Norris, I think you almost have to work harder to be this bad to deliver. He'd been acting like what, he was like in movies since the 70s. Yes. And like, this is probably like, I'm not into the math, like 15, 60s. movie, at least where he's the lead,

and he was on a weekly television show where they're giving him scripts. And it's just like he's just cannot do like, this dang dog, this dang dog, this dang dog, this dang dog, this dang dog. It's crazy.

There's one shot. We'll look into it later on, where he has one continuous line. They have to break in the middle of the line. In the movie, it happened. I was like shocked that they did it. They allowed it in. Which I think is you're,

perfection port, Chris, because, like, yes, in, like, marked for death, Sikala isn't great, but, like, foresight just breaking it and all these people are doing stuff. Out for justice. Out for justice. Apologies. I always get them all mixed up. Yeah, that's all the same movie. But it's difficult when, because at least Sagan will be like, damn it, Ramirez, give me the money or whatever. You know what I mean? He could do that.

But, like, it's difficult when you have to play against, damn it, Ramirez, give me that money. Yeah. He's giving the partners nothing to work with. Exactly. Even due to cough. even Dutnikov gives you a bigger meal to fucking chow down on the Norris Norris gives you a bone and says chew on it you fuck I mean speaking to Dutnikov I think

Aaron Norris directed a couple of Dutnikov flicks as well I'm sure they're the best of his career I'm certain of it honestly his uh Chuck Norris his son Mike is a better actor than him and it's not a very storied career I uh I will say speaking on the the Walker Texas Ranger front

That is the one thing I've seen Chuck Norris in. Growing up, that was on a lot because it was dad TV and it was the very rare dad nighttime TV. So my father would tune the fuck in and you bet your ass if you were home with nothing to do, dude, Walker, Texas Ranger is right there to watch. I believe that it's on Pluto, like there might be a Walker, Texas, where I think there is, yes. You get a tall glass of water. You're not having a bad evening just watching two or three of those things. Really?

really, it's really, it's very silly. It's very silly television. But it's how he could like skate by and that's you're talking about like multiple seasons. Like it's weekly. So like he's kind of getting into a rhythm of something. And also like I think like TV's a bit more forgiving for dudes like this. And there was like a Walker team.

This movie is really tough because like, uh, you know, despite my best wishes, uh, the dog is not talking in this movie. Yeah. So so much of the movie is him just talking to a dog, which, Like, if he can't manage to talk to a human being in a scene properly, you're fuck talking to a thing that can't talk back to you. Yeah. No, it's not going to work at all.

Look at this. C4. Scary stuff. Who the fuck's doing this narration at the beginning of this movie? I guess it's two other cops that we never see ever before or since. Well, I think it's whoever is hiring the two guys who put the, the, uh, the C4 in the thing, right? Because it cuts to. No, these are clear.

It's clearly cops talking, because they're talking about, like, like suspects and what do we got here and they're like looking over evidence and they must have they must have come across whatever the crime scene is of wherever they got the C4 from because what they're talking about is the C4 and then what they cut to

because it's you're seeing the the paper with the skin hits attack rabbi all that shit yes but they cut to two guys running out of a building that explodes so you're assuming those are the two guys they're talking about who got the C4

they're like they got two idiots to do the C4 explosion Yeah that I was able to follow I just don't know who is supposed to be doing this narration But speaking of Chris when you said crime scene You know I was I threw me for a second Because I thought maybe Chuck Norris was in that scene Because every scene he's in is a crime

Bad actor I think this The building blowing up Which is a fantastic explosion by the way There's two stunt guys running away from it Steve if you just want to inform everybody Of why this was an issue When the movie was released at the time it was

Well, it was released nine days, seven days a week and a half after the Oklahoma City bombing. And that also has to do with white supremacy stuff. So not straight there. Apparently, although here's my MDB trivia fact here. The film opened just nine days after the bombing of the Alfred P. Mira federal building in Oklahoma City. The plot features a gang of militant to white supremacists who intended detonate a bomb in a public place. The film took only $300 opening night in Oklahoma.

The distributors were forced to make a statement disassociating the film with a real life incident. I feel like in even Oklahoma it would make $600. You know what I mean? That much money other way. I would love to get, can I get an interview with the 10 people

who were going to see this movie and then heard about Oklahoma City and were like, you know what? No. No, it's, it's, it's, it was. It's too much. I can't do it. It's a disgrace to this country. No, no, no, no. The other way around. I want to talk to the people in Oklahoma

that went to see this movie on opening weekend. They were like, oh my God, one of the greatest American tragedies, one of the biggest fucking domestic terrorist fucking insane unhinged shit we've seen on the news. That's go to the fucking movies. It's sort of hard to hear the movie with all the ambulance sounds.

It just, well, it's like the oh man, just finally, Martha, a night to take us away from all of this hardship and pain we've had to endure here in Oklahoma. What's this? Surely Chuck Norris won't steer us wrong. Well, Chuck Norris and a dog, again, you expect a vague drug trade at worst. I mean, because that's, this is just chasing canine and Turner and Hooch. And I think that's what was mainly criticized for besides the bombing.

But, yeah, I mean, that's the thing is like, you're going to the movies in Oklahoma, them stepping over the fire and you know you want to see a fun dog movie and then you get this. I just can't imagine though like because I just watched this movie right now I'd never seen it before. I can't imagine if you even regardless of being in the state lines of Oklahoma anywhere in America going to see this movie nine days after that

happened and like what that must have felt like only because I remember being in the theater in 1998 for the start of that first X-Files movie where they very clearly are referencing Oklahoma City. And even then, like, three years out being like, holy fucking shit, are we ready for this? Yeah, we were just ready for it. Yeah.

The thing with this is that, and why I really am, infect is the word. Because even in a dog movie, a shitty dog movie with the shitty actor with him, the dog itself will overpower. The charm of the dog itself. this is a very charming dog i'll say Reno is played by a very charming dog

even he cannot overcome the norrisness of this right the norris thing is that you can't enjoy yourself you can't just enjoy the dog movie for the dog you know why because the first 15ish minutes of this

movie is this dog with his first part of his old timer right and the kid is a disgusting shit boy kid and like it's the morning and we're like this is after the huge explosion. Right. That's not helping anything. So some blame needs to be laid at the foot of

Ron Swanson, the screenwriter, who I'm glad went into public service instead. I do love the transition from this like really honking explosion to just donuts. We're eating donuts. We got a fucking Homer Simpson

donut bag sighting in this movie. Right. Because that's the cops for you. This fat old man, which he should have retired 10,000 years Well, he had every chance. And they retire him in this movie. That's right. It's fair.

I'm out. Gotta say, awful title cards and opening title font here. It's like garbage. It's like bad font you'd see on like a jar of salsa in the 90s. That's exactly correct. It's worse than comic sands. Oh, yeah.

And he sucks. He's doing that thing in dog movies where you're just given the dog diarrhea. It's like, here we know, no more donuts for today. I'm like, this dog can't be. fucking donut. His kid, like, not his kid,

his, you never find out the kid's parents, right? This Matthew, he's just a grandson. There's a mother mentioned at one point.

It's like, oh, mom says, I better get home or mom's going to be mad. That's the only reference to this kid's parents at all. Otherwise, he's just wandering the streets.

And then he likes Reno so much. He's like, can the dog have a jelly roll? Please just one. Christ. And he's doing the thing where the, oh, then he relents and this,

this older man just like, feeds this. dog, this entire gigantic fucking donut full of cream and jelly or what God knows. I'll kill my dog a little bit. Hold on, kid.

I'll kill the dog a little bit. Here we go. I just can't imagine. Like, whenever Marty gets something off the street or whatever, she eats something she's not supposed to, I'm freaking out for like two hours. Sure.

I can never imagine, like, being in a position where I'd be like, hey, Chelsea, grab me one of those donuts. I'm going to give the entire thing to the dog. It's crazy to me. I wouldn't even give her a single bite of it. You know what? I'm here at Burger King.

You know what? Let's get a whopper for the dog. Why not? Let's get a whole fucking wopper for the dog and shove it in its mouth. Once it eats that stuff, it's not picking up the sense of marijuana or heroin or cocaine.

No way. Yeah, hey, Domino's. I'll take one meat lovers. No, that's for the dog. And then for me, I'll do a sausage and pepper. Like, it's just like, it's crazy. And also, like, this guy's feeding this dog so much food. Like, he's using it.

is a bargaining chip when the dog doesn't do well at police work? He's like, you're suspended. No donuts for two days. I'm like, Jesus Christ, how many donuts this dog eating in a week? Well, let's see, you work in five, six days a week as a cop, four donuts a day. So at least

two dozen donuts, you know what? Your work has been so much better since you've been off the donuts. Here, finally you get a donut. Here you go. You're back on duty. This guy, Lou's been around a while. You know, maybe he wants a new dog, you know? Oh, yes. Yeah, dude. Trying to

try to force retirement his own way. I do love that this is trying to chase Turner and Hitch so much that like literally it has the old man of the dog chasing the lead to the abandoned ship. Just like just like immediately the same exact fucking thing. It's kind of crazy. It kills me. Screenwriter runs once. Yeah, please. But immediately we have to save a baby in a burning house. What the fuck?

What the what the what the what in the world with this? This dog, it doesn't work for the fucking fire marshal, this old man? Dude, set the scene for you, folks. There is a building that is super on fire. And this cop goes to the fire with this dog. And all these firefighters are run away like, oh my God, I think I still got a guy in there. This is the worst fucking fire I've seen in my entire career. And this donut chomping old man his dog just like sashay pass.

all these fired fighters with marshmallows ready to go sticky fingers jelly all over their face I kept expecting when he goes in there that the green goblin was in there finally top dog I've been waiting for you they've an awesome fight

while the building's burning down this is superhero dog stuff just belongs in supergirl not here but is this the same building that the explosion happened in no it isn't a different one yeah it's just that's what's weird too It's just a fire that's happening.

I don't know why this guy's reporting there. It's so weird. But yeah, the dog goes in and I love this. Oh my God, Chief. The dogs got that baby. No, if it was the apartment complex that the Nazis or whatever were blowing up, it would connect our characters better to the events of the film. Very specifically, we say it's the Martin Luther King Jr.

apartment complexes or whatever. Oh, dude, no, I know what that means. It's like Martin. Luther King Jr. Minorities housing, he says. Okay. That's what Chuck Norris fucking describes an apartment complex as in this movie. Do not worry, guys.

The old man also picked up a newspaper with the headline. So this is going to cure all these problems. San Diego hosts racial unity rally. And in the picture is supposedly the Pope. The Pope does not make the headline that the Pope

is going to be in San Diego. There you go. Music, food, art. These things define and unite us. And they come in colors that breathe culture. Colors that connect us with their variety and richness. You'll find that same variety in Valspar Ultra paints. Great coverage and durability starting at 29.99 per gallon.

Enjoy everyday protection against scuffs and wear with a smooth, washable finish. We're made of colors. And with Valspar Ultra, you can reflect that pride of culture you have inside on every wall of your home. Available at Lowe's. No, dude, racial unity rally instead. That is the top headline right there. And I do love, this is before he gets to the fire, but I do love what he hears it,

or he reads the thing and he goes, San Diego to host Unity rally. About time people started to learn to live together. Oh, you know what, dude? This guy was, you know, was too beautiful for this world, sadly, and we'll find out when he's dead in for a minute. Dude, I love watching him be tossed off this boat.

It's awesome. He sees the two dudes like running away. and he pursues them doesn't call a single fucking person it's just him and the fucking Duncan Donuts dog ready to go and we do hear on the radio like yes this radical white supremacist

organization is claiming responsibility for the crime that's happening right now and he just they follow him onto the boat again very beginning of Turner and Hooch here bringing this dog on the boat and now all of a sudden by the way it's like the middle of the night where's this grandson they haven't established

like the movie makes you think the grandfather is the guardian. And I'm like, okay, it's like midnight, because he's like, okay, those two white supremacists are going in the boat. I guess we're on a stakeout tonight, Reno. And then all of a sudden it's like two o'clock in the morning, and I was like, who's taking care of this kid?

And tip for the old man here, when you go into the ship with the dog and you find all this C4, you don't have to turn to the dog and say C4, my God, there's enough to blow up half the country. You could just see that there's C4 and maybe go out and radio it in. But no, he starts talking to the dog, which is what alerts him to the white supremacist terrorists who walk down.

Yeah. Hold it. I'm a cop. Maybe keep your voice down. Yeah, I do like, hold it. I'm a cop. And this weirdo German guy's like, I don't care. And he shoots.

Yeah, dude. Oh, man, a fucking German Tommy Lee Jones long delivery. He kills this, he shoots this dude dead. You got a squib at the chest of this fat old guy, which is pretty great. Shit, dude. And by the way, this guy who was the German. that will come back at the ending in a big scene. He was in Firefox as a Russian,

and he was in the Twilight Zone the movie as one of the German officers, so he briefly met Vic Morrow. Oh, look at that. One of my honor. Nice. Briefly. But the grandpa gets shot, the dog gets shot, and then in one of the funniest things you'll see,

they throw the grandpa's dead body off the boat, and then this dog dummy goes flying. Oh, we wound this. Three times. I called Jen in from the other room. I'm like, you know what? I know you're doing something more better, more intelligent than I am, but come in and watch this.

Watch this dog puppy going. You know what? She's better for it. Absolutely. She was howling. Well, the dog's howling. The dog swims up from the water. Reno is still alive and he sort of swims away.

By the way, no like discussion about how we found this old man's body or anything like that. It just cuts to like what you think is the next morning, but it turns out to be like several days or a week later. They're working on this. They say a month. Is it a full month? Okay. Because I hear something like, oh, blah, blah, blah.

I think when he gets the phone call, when Norris gets the phone call, is like, that remember when so-and-so, whatever, the old guy got shot last month? Yeah, well, man. So, I mean, that lets you, that lets the dog not have any injuries. But I think this dog is retired after it gets shot, why it is sailing and chucked off a boat. It's super dog. It's up there with Supergirl's dog there. they're one and the same.

If you can get over, you not only did you get shot, you presumably took the body in your teeth and swam it back to shore so that everybody could see. How else are they getting the body in some kind of decent manner? My head cannon is the dog,

they find the dog. A month later, they find the old man's bloated corpse they're chasing the crabs off of it and stuff. And the disgusting shit boy has to identify him. Yes, yeah, yeah. They pull it. back and there's like all this. Oh my god, he's all blue. It's a real, it's a real, I guess that

could be him. That's dental records, if anything. Come on now. No, those were rotted out by the jelly rolls. Oh, yeah. That's how they was the, they, they pulled out some of the donut and it's like, oh, this looks like Rosco's donut place. We know who this is. A stool sample. There's like the only person we've ever seen that was. I've never seen this much, never seen this much winchels in a stool before. Yes, it's only, this person's only eating donuts their entire life. You know, I got to say to this Chuck Norris character here, Jake Wilder, a little bit of stolen valor as far as like the alcoholic fuck-up cop thing is supposed to go. Like John McLean and Die Hard 3, you believe that guy's hung over his shit and he's a fuck-up cop.

This movie, it starts with Chuck Norris and like, yeah, he's on suspension for some reason. You never hear why. And the phone's ringing off the hook. And the gag is like he's pulling the phone. by the cord. He's too hung over to get out of bed and then you see him like with sunglasses and coffee in the office or whatever. But like you never see him like take a drink

ever again in the movie. He's never once like man I wish I was just pounding whiskey instead of working with this dog. It's something different I think. I think with him specifically because I haven't gone back to any of his other movies recently. I should, the man recently passed. I should look at the canon.

But this is what it's like when so many people openly fucking hate you. Like, you don't have to be an alcoholic. You just have to have enough people around you who openly dislike you and don't want to be around you. Because nobody seems to

really enjoy his presence at all. This new character that shows up at the office, what was the name of the female detective? Michelle, uh, boy, yes. Detective Boyette. Detective Boyette.

She's just like, who is this guy? Yeah. How long was that suspension? Was it years? Well, he was, I mean, the weird thing is like, yeah, like, there's a lot of beer can, so, like, clearly hard living. And I think that's probably, they're trying to split the baby in terms of, like, Chuck Norris.

I don't think any of his characters are ever, like, immoral, you know what I mean? So I think, like, showing it off screen is one thing. Chuck chugging and being, like, kind of an asshole. I don't think he would do. But he's just living like a pig, like a disgusting pig. It's brutal, dude. It's like the shot of the overflowing garbage can reminded me of like that Simpson's like

First Act where it's Love Day and they're all like Trying to put off who's gonna take the garbage out Like there's state like Homer staples the banana peel of the side of the garbage can Like he's got a garbage can with the garbage is now like Turning into like a cone shape If it's if you're garbage case if it's above the rim You're living like a fucking animal dude You know there's a woman's touch and also hard drink

If there's like beer cans on the dining room table because you're just going hard last night or even the last two nights, but you got to put your fucking food away, man. You got to throw your garbage out, right? There's a shot later in the movie where there's a pizza box and there's a slice of like half-eaten pizza

out on top of the box. You can't be leaving fucking food out. That's how you get ants and other things. When Detective Boyette comes by, she's just like, bitch, you live like this? She does. I love how disgusted this woman is. Not even fit for a dog.

No. She doesn't even want to teach. She's like, here, here's the dog. This is your new partner. I don't want to be around you enough to teach you how to handle the dog. Because you fucking annoy me and just in general, I don't like you. But like it is, to your point though, Steve, I think you have a point in that the fact that he can't act literally means that you cannot tap into the hungover thing at all. That is the problem.

The problem is he is not capable of giving you what you need in that scene. So maybe he is hungover for all I know, and you just don't see it because he can't act. I think you're totally right, Chris, because John McLean in Die Hard 3 did not need sunglasses at any point for Bruce Willis to reveal to you that he's hungover. It's just Bruce Willis being a great actor. This is like, oh, fuck, better put sunglasses on him or something because his only affectation is walking slow and carrying a coffee mug. It's a little unfair. Bruce Willis is probably the best action actor of all. Like, you know what I mean in terms of actual acting?

Oh yeah, an action star That has acting abilities Yes, I think Bruce Bruce might be number one I think Chuck has to be the last of the list Oh yeah However you want to put it Scott Atkins Wherever you want to put him

Dude I've had Dutnikov Dazzle me more than this man has Okay But I do You also get a little bit of his hog here With these undies Not the hog Oh the polka dot boxers

Yeah They're riding up when he's talking to his fucking boss here He's like I thought I got suspended It's like, well, you know, that kid's parents drop the complaints. Don't worry. I was just telling him to poke my dots. But yeah, this is the great character director, Clyde Kusatsu, as Captain Callahan. And I do like this whole thing where he is like, oh, I'm just looking over some funny statistics here.

You and your new partner have all these same things in common. You've been suspended multiple. You've both been suspended multiple times for disobeying orders. And I was like, suspending a dog? then you were both shot five times. I was like, so this dog was shot four times prior to the time we saw him get shot. And you kept letting this dog be a police officer. Well, he's the best damn one they got in the forest, Andrew. What are you going to do? I also, Christ, five times. We got an uncle knee slapper here. One of the only ones, as Chuck is

walking into the police office, he's got the sunglasses on his big cup of coffee, clearly sort of supposed to be hung over. Okay. And there's this guy yelling, at another cop, this criminal yelling, I know my rights, I have my rights, you can't tell me what to do. He's standing and like yelling while the other guy's like sitting at the desk. And Chuck grabs the dude, shoves him in the chair

and he goes, sit your rights down. Ooh. Uncle knee slapper right there. You don't deserve rights. It's just amazing because like you can see that being played for a laugh, right? It should be, he's not upset because like the guy's making a, uh,

a stink about his rights or whatever. Yeah, he's not that. He's upset because he's hung over and the guy's yelling and that is exacerbating his hangover. You have to convey like the reason you're doing this, Chuck is because this guy's voice is like making you want to hurl because you're so hung over. But it doesn't come across like that because he doesn't know anything. And so he reads it as, well, I'm just being the tough gruff guy and I'm telling him to sit down. But nevertheless, the message does get to the uncle because the uncle is he's sitting there like, you know what? I'm going to go to my manager at Blimpies tomorrow

and I'm going to say the same damn thing to them. Sit your rights down, Donna. What? I'm reducing your hours again, Craig. I'm sorry. You can't do that. That's my right. You can't, I can only sit my right?

Wait, can I still get the combo at the, at the half right? You don't have a right to be a sandwich artist, okay? It's a privilege. We still got Blimpies around? I have not seen in Blimpies in a little bit. I don't know. I don't think so. I haven't seen the Blimpeys in a long time.

That was a wet sandwich. Oh, I liked a nice wet saugger, man. I used to go to one on 57th Street. Like, this was like 20. I think I recall that blimpies though. Oh, there are blimpies. There are blimpies. There are blimpies.

Where's the nearest blimpie? Oh, they're all near me, apparently. They're all in, like, deep New Jersey. Oh, yeah. It's a suburban thing, I guess. Yeah, that makes more sense. How do they rub that with fucking Jersey? Mike.

That's true. Well, he doesn't have an iron he doesn't there's one in oh wow in the Bronx

obviously that makes sense there's a great war in Jersey over the over the worst subway sandwiches why not

just go to an actual fucking deli guys I'm looking at the blimpy map right now and yeah it's it's like the map

from escape from New York where Manhattan is isolated it must be a subway only pop And we outlawed all the blimpies.

No, Manhattan, they had to split that with Pop Belly. Pop Belly came in and took their section. Oh, yeah. I don't care for Pot Belly either, I'll be honest. They're not crazy about it. I also don't like being reminded I'm a fat pig going into a sandwich shop, okay? And the last time I had Jersey Mikes was in Philadelphia when we were stranded in a travel. Oh, one of the fucking worst days on the road we've ever had in our career, yeah.

To your point, Andrew, I do hope, as we continue to make these absolutely use things, deli sandwiched fast food spots. I honestly will hope they go more in on the calling you. Just like literally the next one should be called fat fucks. Like just call fat fucks. Honestly, it will remind me not to go, A, but B, it's just funny that somebody has to fucking put that up. One time we were in Tennessee visiting my father-in-law's mother and we ate at a place

called fats. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was, I believe, if I remember, I think it was FATZ. Uh-huh. Yeah. But again, it was a similar like, yeah, I know. I know I'm going in here to eat fucking fried okra. I know. You don't have to fucking put it on your sign.

Oh, but this is, okay, so yeah, they're yelling at the dog and I'm not working with this damn dog, this whole thing. And then this is where he says, the Martin Luther King Minority Housing Project is where a bunch of this crime was happening.

And then I'm like, what the fuck? And then he's like, oh, and Clyde's like, oh, and then they found this there. It looks like plastic explosive. And he's like, yeah, C4. But this is C4 from the Mideast. And I was like, oh, God. Where are you going with this, dude?

But it just so happens, like, this character knows that in the Middle East, they wrap their C4 one way. And in America, we wrap our C4 the other way or some shit. It's more dangerous the way they do it. I'll tell you that much. I just hear Chuck Norris say mid-east, and I thought that it was about to get a lot worse from from the middle of now. From the middies, you see this, this really nice bread that it's wrapped in is delicious.

It's like a non-consistency. Now you're imagining it. Like, whenever I see C4 in a movie, I just want to eat it. I want to chomp into C4 so bad. Yeah, it looks so good. Just like, yeah, it's like a big thing of fudge, you know, but it's like gray. I bet it's good. It's because it's kind of like alien food, you know.

It's like clay. We take about to the, what do you call it there? This is when Michelle Richards comes in It's like hey, you know Like this dog's great, who is this pig? And he's like, this dang dog can't do anything He's just like, oh really? And they take them to the dog training place

With the guy with the suit These three dudes that they keep cutting over Who have to be real police officers The guys with the mustaches Three Mike Ditkhas, three actual It's just Mike Ditka one, Mike Ditka two And Mike Ditka three. They all look like Mike Ditka.

It's amazing. You're totally right. Now I order three Ditka's. and these are not serviceable. Ditka's. You gave me four fakes. These are not real ones. Yeah, I'm going to need a tripped dick over here on table five.

Trip dick. I come in to the store the other day. Three might get Ditka's walk in. Not two. You'll usually see Ditka's travel single file to hide their numbers, you understand. Well, it's easier to step into that big footprint, you know, after someone's already done it. The lead Ditka did it. these scenes in these kinds of movies

are the stand-in for like what an actual like canine companion officer has to do for training you know because like you can't just have a dog and give it commands and you have to know how to like utilize its crime stopping training right so like

these movies I think canine's got an exact same one where it's you go and the dude who's going to be working with the dog stands back and just watches how awesome the dog is by the dog kicking the ass of the dude in the suit I think this is the exact same thing that happens in canine. I'm just glad we get to see a training scene so I know

why the dog can do things. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. That's true. You know, you didn't want her to be a furry sue. That's right. Terrible. So we cut to two miles south of the Mexican border for one of the craziest scenes in this movie. What is this? This is another movie? What is this fucking Michael Park's movie we stepped in?

It's incredible because like, Yeah. It's like this guy with this great guy, this mustache, it's like, we're going up to the border. And I'm like, oh, so these are like guys that are in on it and they're going to be like this is maybe this is the, we haven't met the big bad. These are the big bad. No. Right. They're dead insane. Yeah.

But we get this. So this guy's like training has gone on people on the side of the road. He says, you know what I like about slurs. Yeah. Charlie is that it's just one bullet, pal, which I don't know, you, you did the plural form of the slur. just one bullet. I don't think that, I don't, I don't think your police work ads up there. No. I don't think so. It is crazy, dude, because he's got the gun, like, hanging out the window, and he's, like, pointing at it, like, people on bicycles, like, pew, peopies do it like, pew, pew, pew,

it's fucking crazy. So they get to this checkpoint. What do you get to Steve? Well, dude, I love that the guy is like, oh, my God, how did you, you didn't tell me about this checkpoint. I'm like, it's the U.S. border. That's, it's always there. No, they're two miles south of This is some sort of like It's the Homer Simpson Fruit and Vegetable inspection thing Because the guy's like Yeah, you get you stop at any farms

You get any fruits and vegetables and like The dude riding shotgun is like Yeah you didn't tell me about this checkpoint The guy's like it wasn't they didn't stop me last time It's fine they didn't find anything And he's like well no you got to get me out of here They're gonna find it they're gonna find you gotta go And then like this dude just speeds through this checkpoint

This huge chase scene unfolds Oh my God And the cops shoot at them and it hits the gas tank. The car explodes. It flips over. These guys are dead. The burnt wreckage. Suddenly a, you know, passport flies out.

No, no. It's a photo of a church. Yes. Really, really wild. Like, I thought, because I thought one of the guys, because Timothy Bottoms is in this movie. Yes. And I thought that Timothy Bottoms was the guy riding shotgun.

And then I was like, there's no way that he was just in the movie. the movie for that one scene. This guy is so menacing. He was in the last picture show, right? Oh, I think she's still never seen the last picture. It's incredible. You have a movie. You cannot be in that movie and then be in this movie.

There needs to be laws. Randy Quaid does make sense in this. If you were to put him in this, that would make sense to me. Oh my God, it would be such a better movie. A, Randy Quaid is the Chuck Norris part. I'm fucking having a ball. I'm going to hot court. You should get him in this.

Because Randy Quaid, that's a dude that can act alongside a dog. Yes. When he says that thing, dog, you know, you're like, oh, he hates that dog and you're having a good time. Yep. Absolutely, dude. So we get to Chuck Norris driving home with this dog. He's got to drive the dead grandpa lose car because all the dog's toys are in the back seat.

So he's assigned like the same fucking squad car or whatever. And then this is great. The totally hilarious, don't mess up your new home. And the dog goes inside. It is a ninja turtle would not sleep here. I know. I do. I like that he feeds the dog Clint Booth style here.

Yeah. The big can and it slops out. And the dog don't want it. The dog wants, he's eating, Chuck Norris' character is eating a rotissory chicken with his hands. Like he's Henry the 8th. That is what he's doing.

He's not getting a plate. He's not getting like, there's no sides, no fixings. Just dig it into that chicken. I'm sad to hear that someone is eating their food with freedom. Isn't getting all dainty with it?

I'm sorry. It's finger licking good. Do you think you went to a medieval times once? And they're like, no, no, no, no forking. I'm like, wow, this is incredible. I'm never doing that again. I am never doing that again. I never was like, oh, that's a funny one, Chuck.

No, I'm serious. Never again. I'm home. I'm finally home. It is that weird thing, too, of like, I'm just eating for sustenance. I don't enjoy food. It is just to be turned into energy for my body.

So I will stand and eat it. And of course the phone rings. And then it's Sergeant Boyette there. And the dog eats the chicken, of course. And this is, I think, when she comes over and does the bitch you live like this thing. You eat my chicken, you mean, gee, what? I would be more concerned. Holy shit.

How many chicken bones did you consume? Are you going to choke on those? Because that's what happens when you have a fucking animal. You got to be like, are you bones, brother? I'm sorry. Steve, if the dog survived five gunshots, I don't think any bone is taking this thing down. There is not a bone on earth that can take this fucker down.

It's fair. It's very sure. Between the scene of seeing the old pizza on the floor and the scene of eating the chicken standing up, we do have two things here. One, they go to the docks, and he's like, boy, I sure wish you could tell me what was going on here that night dog.

Oh, right. And then he marches into the harbor master's office and he's like, give me your bookings folder. The guy's, the German racist terrorist does have a point. He's like, do you have a fucking warrant? Who are you? What are you doing? And he like rips a page out of it.

Like, fuck you. You got a warrant. And then you as a police officer's response is you got a problem. And then this starts grabbing shit anyway. Yeah, dude. And so then like the dog is trying to tell him like, hey, something familiar behind this door. And because he's such a fucking idiot, he just takes the people. of paper and he's like, come on, Reno, we're getting

out of here. And I was like, no, man, he's trying to tell you something because of course they leave. And then here the lead guy comes out and he's like, oh, that's the dog that I shot in the heart. Well, now you have to kill both of them again. Hold on. I didn't realize a dog could survive a shot to the chest, but here we are.

Then we get a brief Nazi rally here. Oh, yeah. And it's honestly unmistakable. It's like word for word of maga rally here. It kind of is. It kind of is. They don't hide it the way like a beautiful cobra scene does where it's like Oh no, they're just mass killers

They don't have actual political beliefs or anything like that No, they're like specifically like Yes, Nazis, yes, white power. I'm like, oh boy. They're yelling like, you know, and the illegals crossing the border, stealing their jobs. Well, it's crazy because if you didn't If you hadn't seen this movie before

And you didn't like watch a trailer Or read the Wikipedia or anything, I just knew Chuck Norris partnered with a dog. when you cut to this scene, the first thing you hear is, the greatest sin ever perpetrated on this country was integrated schools. And I was like, what is this movie doing? It's basically like he's talking about basically white replacement theory here.

Choose control our money and our destiny. I brought a child to this movie to see the dogs. Exactly. I want to see the trail, like the actual, the real trailer for this versus like one that is like, in a world. It's like, white power. Be honest about where your movie is. Also, the logo that we have here, they have like the road logo,

that whatever this. It's a fringe group off-brand swastika, yeah. Yeah, it kind of looks at the foo fighters logo a little bit too, I thought. It's like if the food fighters were just the foo, like there's just one F. Yeah. But it is, I was calling it the new swastika and you with an oomla. It's like, you mix the foo fighters logo with the cult of the, horned logo. Exactly.

I just finally saw Devil We're Prada too, so I was just thinking of like some little like room up there and be like, oh, I don't like this. I do not like this. This is a bad swastika. We want to grab some new people with this swastika. The old swastika is out. I know everybody likes it

still, but it's everybody is old. We got to get something new. I got a new one for you there. It's Pepe the Frog. Oh. I do like him in his eyes. He's very cute. It's just truly remarkable to me that this scene in this dog movie just

ends with like a factory full of dudes chanting white power and then it just goes back to like do the dog's eating a can of shit off the floor. Including your boy Timothy Bottoms who is dressed like a prop comic

this entire. It's kind of amazing. They're all like burly white dudes with big blonde hair and mustachees and beards and you know like with the fucking ripped off shirts and he has got this like purple shirt with a vest on and this Tim Burton hair going on. Dude, he is the horniest white supremacist. When you see, there's like a training montage later. Oh my God.

Militia like out to a field and he's like doing all this. And he's so like horned up for all the gun violence. Yeah. But so then this kid shows up to his house, Chuck Norris's house. So I assume he just sort of knows where this guy lives. Well, dude, because he comes in. He's like, hey, checking the status of that 187 you should be working on. And Chuck Norris is like, the fuck did you say to me?

And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm friends with Chief Callahan. He's an old buddy of mine. And I was like, you're like seven years old. Where are your parents? And by the way, kid, I know this is a dog movie, but I just saw a bunch of white supremacy shit going on. You're not needed in this movie. You have no business being in this movie, kid. Goodbye.

None at all. Like, it's one thing if it was like, you know, Chuck Norris is a single father. and the dog. Suddenly we have a fucking family movie on our hands. Well, it's weird because the kid is just on the fringe of the movie the whole time. He's, which is hilariously riding his bike to the finale for about 20 minutes in the end of this movie.

And it takes him forever to get there. It's so good. So what happened? After Boyette's there, Chuck has to go take the dog outside to take a piss or something. Yes, and that's when the fucking clown dudes show up. You got to take some donut shit. dude. Look at it below. Better get a shovel, dude. This dog's taking a week's worth of donut

shits. Look out. I'm going to have to rock back and forth and force this one out, fellas. I'm not I don't know. Lou didn't show you how to do this yet. You got to push his intestines back inside his body when he's done. Oh, man. So these clowns attack, these Nazi clowns. Um, Nazi clowns, sure. And, you know, they shoot the shit out of Chuck Norris's house. And we kind of like split up. So like, he's going after one, Reno's going after one, the other ladies going after one or whatever. We have Boyette, like, and she's like getting in on the action. She does like, you know, she's a black woman. She beats up a Nazi at the end. That's kind of fun. I kind of would have liked her to be more of a character and or even a romantic interest for Chuck North. Oh, that's not going to

I know, but now we're showing these Nazis what real love is. That's what we want to do. I mean, that would be great, but yeah, it's not going to happen in this. This is where you finally cease and if I'm, you know, a Chuck Norris movie fan and not just knowing him from Walker, Texas Ranger, like, I'm waiting for him to do martial arts in this movie. It took a

half hour for a spin kick. It's fucking wild. And he finally kicks this one clown who's like standing on the roof of a car and he does like a high kick and knocks the dude down. I was like, finally, some fucking high kicks in this movie. Some other of those, but he does a few of them, but the other ones, he like

cuts in the middle of them. I'm not kidding you. Of all the things I just want to see in one fluid motion, you can't give me that. You fucker. Well, it got so bad, Chris, that I was starting to wonder, like, was he not pulling them off believably? Yeah, probably. That's why we have to cut. I mean, it's 95. It's late.

It's like in his 50s. Dad's getting old, man. He's so old, he pretty much botches this, you're under arrest Bozo line. It's such a bad fucking deal. It's such an easy. That is the layout. You're under arrest, Bozo. Like, there, I just did it.

It's totally fine. Because it's, you're under arrest, comma, bozo is how it was probably written in the script. He's doing it as like, you're under arrest, three ellipsies, Bozo. You're under arrest, Buzz Aldrin. Okay, that's my problem. I should have to, hold on. I got to do this again. Okay.

You're under arrest Buzz Lightyear. Oh, that's, it's 95. I just saw a toy story with my granddaughter. It's a wonderful picture. They're breaking down new walls here, but yeah, that's not right. You're under arrest, Bob's Lerman. Oh, shit. Funny enough, you mentioned Toy Story.

The kid in this was the voice of Sid in Toy Story. Really? Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, I did not know that. How about that? Okay. You're under arrest, Bosco chocolate syrup. No, that's not the line. So it's Bozo. Got it in my head.

Bozo. Okay. really interesting moment right here and I don't know who else may have looked up this woman but we're back at the station this over-eager female detective that comes in and is like oh hey Chuck Norris like can I help you out with the white supremacist case I could shave my head

and go undercover and this not the other thing and it's just she's just like can I be in the movie and I was like nah you're not going to be in the movie and she's just out of the movie it's great one scene and done but if anyone looked her up this is fascinating The woman is named Eileen Bowman, not a ton of acting credits, but this woman is most known for infamously playing Snow White in that really horrendous 1989 opening of the Oscars with her and Rob Lowe.

Oh, yeah, I know. And they're singing, the stars are out tonight or whatever. And it's like, it's regarded as like the absolute worst opening to the Academy Awards ever. That lady played Snow White. So it didn't work out for her there either. You can find it on YouTube, I think. It is a massive douche chill to watch that go down. It's bad.

It's tough. I had to hear that. But so he notices a clue here. We shall rise again is what he finds out was written on the, there's like a burnt part of this paper and he like kind of traces the letters or whatever. And he's like, we shall rise again. Is that anything? And meanwhile, the put upon chief is always like,

there goes my campaign for me. Oh, yeah. That's fun. You know what? Like that, it works once, but yeah. He says it like another three times in this movie. Also, well, because he has to deliver all of the exposition.

He's just like, okay, also the synagogue, that's going to be a target. You have to look into NAACP headquarters. You also have to look into that. How about, can we get a good dog dream in here? Can we get a good, quick dog dream? Do you think that we can get that? Because that'll remind you. him. Oh, the dog dream is great. This dog has PTSD of being shot in the chest, obviously.

And whatever the hell else happened, the four other times this poor dog got shot. God damn it. That would be, now you know what? You want to get an extra star in letterbox, Mr. Aaron Norris. The dream should be a super cut of this dog getting shot multiple times. Get all of them. I would love that. He's like dressed up as like a pizza delivery guy, like undercover. bird. This dog goes to pay a toll and realizes what's going on and tries to get out of the car and they shoot the shit out of him.

I like all this. I mean, you get four other opportunities to show me this dog getting shot in his dreams. Come on. I just need to see what Wolverine dog happened. Like, how he heals. Like, what the hell is happening when that happens? I need to know.

Great question. Maybe there was something in the water, like, when he fell into the bay. there was some chemicals. It was like Daredevil or something. That'd be nice. I feel like you don't see this kind of mutt anymore that Reno is because it's very like bud from married with children, that dog. It's that kind of dog. Buck. Yeah, Buck from married with children, but like the ears are shorter on it. There's like a sheep dog to it. I think this dog is a, it's got to be a mud.

Yeah. I think they're messy and that probably kind of cut down over the ears. You always got shorter hair dogs as the year went on. Right. So, oh, the white supremacist training camp scene is right here. One of the funniest things. And so it's like they have this like really crude setup of what you will see later will be this like racial unity summit or whatever. So there's all these chairs just put out in a field. It looks like someone's having an outdoor wedding. Yeah.

And they've got all these like cardboard cutouts of people and everything. And so here's Timothy Bottoms. He's like the dude conducting the training. And it's like, all right. Open fire. and all these dudes with all these machine guns to shoot all these cardboard cutouts. But the funniest part,

there's a cart, like made out of cardboard Cadillac that they blow up as part of it. And that's supposed to be the bomb car that's later in the plant. Why would you put that in? Did Doc Brown invent this? Like, you imagine the idea here is that they're like, okay, so you are going to

shoot this area, and you are going to shoot this area, and that is who is responsible. But no, it's just a free-for-all and this actually happens. Like, people are just shooting everywhere. And then my favorite thing is, bottoms, and it's all done. Bottoms just pissed off.

He's like, no, no, no. And he runs to the back and he's like, gets the one fucking piece of cardboard that they missed. And he's like, this is a miss. And he takes out his gun and shoots. He's like, this is a hits. And I'm like, this is like the level of direction

you're getting from Aaron Norris probably. Yeah. Like, this simple shit. Obviously, the scene doesn't even need to be in the movie, but we are, we do need to get to 86 minutes. So here it is. Yeah, absolutely. 86 minutes and maybe this is happening or maybe it's coming up, so I don't want to step on it. But Mark the SWAT guy that like, every time Mark comes in, it's like, oh my God, it's Mark.

Oh, you're the Sergeant Mark Curtains? Yes, Mark Curtains, L-O-L. But like this guy gets so much sort of play in the movie and does absolutely nothing. Apparently he's Anthony Quinn's son. Yeah, Francesco Quinn, RIP, to both of them as well. I mean, he's more attractive than Chuck Norris, so I can see why it pulls a little bit. We are pretty much right there, Steve. And as a matter of fact, the only thing that's in between it is the first scene with the mother that's kind of useless.

Because the second scene with the mother is the real money melon of this movie. It's the best part of the movie, for sure. But this, the only, he goes, he drops my to see his mother or whatever. And, you know, she's like, hey, you know, you. You got to eat something. He's like, I'll just have a banana. Another fucking horrible delivery. But the thing that I love about the scene is you get the sense like he doesn't like being around his mother.

Maybe she's a little, you know, whatever. So he's trying to get out of there. So he's leaving. The whole scene, there's this like TV repair guy in the house that the dog is messing with. But so like when they leave, he's like, come on. We got to go, Reno. And the dog like pulls a cord and messes with the repair guy. And he gets electrocuted, right?

Chuck Norris is like, what was that noise? And she's like, oh, that's just the TV repair man back there, I think. Chuck Norris, terrible son right here. You find out that like some strangers in your elderly mother's house and you're not like, oh, I'll go see who this guy is. Make sure like he does his work and gets out of here. He's like, oh, yeah, just a fucking totally anonymous TV repair guy. Talk to you later. There's also a minor explosion in his mother's house and he's not too concerned about it.

Don't worry. It's just the BTK killer checking the doors. You've been renting out to the basement. He's nice. Yes, I will ask my son if he has any extra rolls of duct tape. Well, the weird thing is, I mean, just thinking about TV repair,

what a lost art that is. Could you imagine if your TV was broken or on the fritz, as one might say? You hired a man to come into your house and open it up for you? Like, you just buy a new TV. Everyone just buys a new TV. I would just start banging it first

and see what happens there. Yeah, see if anything shakes loose. but then you would just throw it out and buy a new TV. Yeah, probably. Yeah, you're not calling anybody. No. No, no, no, no, no. So Reno consuming a heroic amount of hot dogs outside of the fucking sheriff's office here,

but we're going in and Clyde is presenting what now we're calling a major conspiracy. Right. This is the SWAT unit, Mark Curtins comes in. And he's like, we've done some analysis of all the violent crime going on in San Diego over the last few hours. and it appears all of it, all of it, is connected to hate groups. Of course. How about that? Now, by the way, now, the hot dogs outside, was this one that old timer was just giving the,

he gives the dog, hot dogs. Yes. And then has the audacity to charge Chuck Norris for them. No way. Fuck that. You said, hey, it's Reno, and you started feeding it. That is on you. Absolutely.

I was like, oh, Reno's like the hero dog. Look, Chuck Norris, you have a. hero dog and I'm like, well, if he's such a fucking hero to you, hot dog jockey, how about a couple on the house? Roundhouse kick his face and take away his license to sell hot dogs. That's the problem is Lou did not explain this all before his passing.

Yeah, sadly. He shot because Lou was, they had a system that he would get the hot dog and Lou would give the hot dog man some money for the hot dog. Because also, I mean, this dog needs diarrhea. Of course. I mean, a kid not have a hot dog after his donut and before his chiliwopper and

you know, whatever else he might want to get into. Look, look, I also usually give him a Jamaican beef patty just to give him a little extra, but if you just want to be a hot dog, fine. Listen, I'll tell you what, speaking of giving food to my dog, her like birthday dinner every year is hot dogs. Like, we'll

boil a couple of hot dogs and that's it. Dude, given a dog, Jamaican beef patties, like, do you want it to shit the devil out of its body? Like, oh my God, dude. Oh, hey. Speaking of it. Speaking of getting it to 86 minutes, how about this scene that's completely unrelated to anything

when Chuck Norris and the dog helped these other cops bust the drug dealer house? Oh yeah. Okay. Boy, just fucking riding out the clock. Dude, this scene has nothing to do with anything. You couldn't even afford the Ditka's for this. You got a bunch of fucking Bradshaw's here. And I got to fucking watch these fuckers

just doing nothing. Well, there's this weird thing with those. like, oh, Reno's the best. Oh, could Reno bust up our drug house? Please, Mr. Norris, please. And he's like, okay, gentlemen, I suppose that'll happen. And then, like, they go in and it's a big stuntman fight, you know. It's this huge biker, like, jumps out of a closet and starts fighting Chuck Norris. And, like, the whole gag of the entire scene is, like, Chuck Norris literally kicks the shit out of this guy, kicks him out of window. But then when he falls out the window, the dog sort of jumps up on the window. So, like, hey, what happened? all these idiot cops think the dog did it. Right. Yeah. He's,

that Reno's such a hero. Yeah, oh, Reno's really got him now or whatever. And I'm just like, wasn't there like a massive hate rally slash terrorist attack you're trying to foil here? Or fold it in where it's like, I think I know the informant is going to be there. Right. Right. Right. Right. Could they not

be cold on the case every five seconds? Yes. I mean, if it wasn't for the mother, they would have won. They'll get to it. Don't you worry. They'll get to that whole hate rally that's supposed to, that is uprising in 14 different parts of the country,

I guess is what the guy said. 14 reports of hate crimes all over the country, and that seemed low to me. Yes, that's staggeringly low. This whole meeting about like this all, and the way, we cut to the, the racists have a meeting again, right? Yes, they do.

And this is when they're going to get all, it's basically the five family, the Aryan nation, the Ku Klux Klan, all these people are going to come together under one old billionaire, president, I mean,

under this new thing. Dude, but what's crazy about that scene, too, and I don't know why it kept being shocked watching this movie, but like, yeah,

all the racist stuff was happening and we're saying this, that the other thing, it's fucking horrible, but then, like, I did not expect to see so many, Ziggy's going up in all my days. Dude, we're just fucking

hyal until the cows come home in the scene. I'll be honest, I was kind of surprised we didn't go more naked gun with this and get like an actual Ku Klux Klan, like outfit, an actual old Nazi outfit. Yeah. Like, get all the real old hate groups. You know, Chris Kavan, thank you because

when he's doing the like, we will unite the Ku Klux Klan. I looked for a dude in a white hood. Yeah, yeah. Come on. But you know, and then they start doing the Zig Heil thing, but they say, victory instead. Who objected to the German? Was it the plan? That's the one thing Chuck Norris changed.

He's like, no, no, no, no. I don't want to go to my hate rally and have to read sub-titles. You know what I'm saying? And also, I can't believe this movie's pointing out, like, some pretty esoteric ones, like the church of the creator. Now you're going to have to figure out what that is, 10-year-old boy saying this. Have fun with that. Which ones are those guys?

Some American Not So Shoe. I think. Yeah, let's see. Look them up. Creativity. Yeah, this is all this is. The order was pretty good from a couple years ago. That's a good white. Oh, yeah. Justin Curzel. Yeah, it's Jude Law with a great mustache.

I forget who the other guy is. Oh, yeah. Nicholas Holt. Nicholas Holt is the bad guy you're talking about? Yes. It was very good. Yeah, it is good. And Mark Barron is the whatever the guy that got gets.

Okay, so the church of the creator. Okay. So, boy, anti-Semitism right at the top of the list. Anti-Christianity, scientific racism, homophobia, religious philosophical naturalism. Well, yes, we hear at the Church of the Creator believe in more of a scientific racism, you understand? It's not just a... It's RFK Sto.

But we want to work with you, Ku Klux Klan people. And you who are in charge of the Boone camps out in the woods with all the boys, We want to work with all of you. We want what you want, the fall of civilization. Cheryl, I'm fine to get married to you, of course. I want to tie the knot, but it's got to be in the church of the creator. I remember, Cheryl, of course, we have to be open because I need more than just you in the bedroom to satisfy me. Is that true, Chris Kavana?

Do you know that? Are they open? No, but he cheated on her a lot. She's on her own time. Oh, right, the famous thing with that reporter. A nuzzi there. Nutsi. Oh, boy.

Fun. What a world. I do love when he is trying to bust up that whole thing and then we'll move on. But the dog is refusing to do anything. And he's like, come on, Reno. Marijuana, cocaine, heroin. And then he pulls a gun out and points it to the dog's head. And he's like, if you don't find those drugs, I'm going to kill you.

And it's like, great partner work, buddy. Yes. That's the scene. That's a scene that got him to one. want to do the movie. Can I point a gun at a dog's head? Because I've really been, ever since I saw the National Lampoons cover, I just been wanting to. It takes it from one pointless, nothing to do with anything seen there to, it goes right to,

this is where the dog's watching cops. And this is like 30 seconds of Chuck Norris being like, is that dog watching TV? Let's find out. If there was a movie about police officers between, I mean, we just talked about a minority report on our Patreon exclusive episode. from the year 1991, I think to 2010, you needed a scene where somebody is either watching cops

or mentions the theme song. You need that theme song in the movie. No matter what. It was tattooed on the zeitgeist for a solid 15 years. If it was a bad song, it wouldn't be anywhere. But it's a good song. What are you going to do when they come for you? You don't know.

Well, that's the weird thing is like this movie almost does it like when they forgot to do it like shit we got to legally put that in so it's just right yeah it's just a little vignette of like chuck Norris was like are you watching television is that the television show cops end of scene that's it that's it so that's it so that we've been talking about how it is so weird that this is like a human partners with a dog and there's a little boy movie and then like insane global race war plotting going on from the villains and this is where the movie takes a little break and is like, oh, right, we

know you've been watching a bunch of dirtbag white supremacists for the last 45 minutes. How about we have some downtime and this little boy plays with the dog because, like, he comes over to Chuck Norris's house, he's crying in the fucking yard and he's like, I miss my peepaw, find his killer. Chuck Norris is

like, my father was killed in the line of duty also. That's something we have in common. And then he's like, just you got to go bust him, Chuck Norris. Hey, can I hang out with Reno for a little And he's like, yes, because I would like nothing more than did not have to take care of this dog for a little bit. And then we just go to this dog show? I watched this movie 14 hours ago.

I totally forgot the scene until you started. I'm not kidding. The scene is where they have, to me, like, the worst filmmaking of the whole damn thing. It's awful. Before you get to the show and he's just outside. And like, you have to take this kid down a peg, right? Because the kids, it's like, well, like, at least you have a dog, you know? I didn't have anything in my opinion.

But he, there's this, it's this cut where he says, at least you have Reno here. And then there's a hard cut in the middle of the sentence. And then it goes to, to remind you of the good times you had with your grandfather. Man, that sucked. Look out for it. It is a rough fucking cut.

Here's the thing. Chuck Norris, he doesn't ask what his character motivation is. He doesn't like, you know, what's my character's backstory. How many words are in this one? Yeah, that's too many words. We'll need fewer words. You'll have to cut in the middle. I can't do that many words.

How many words? I'll make a deal. I'll say five words and we cut and then I'll say the other three. Does that work for you? I think it's like he had to learn all of his lines phonetically because he's illiterate. Did you talk to Josh? Because Josh has a good code for it. He says Baker's dozen because if it's 13, I'm good.

I'm not great. 12 is I'm great. 13 am I'm good and I can handle it. But we like we like getting a 12. So if you talk to Josh, he's the he's my contract. boy and he'll tell you every time Baker's dozen for a good old Chuck when you want to him to say

something. What is this? Sixteen words? What am I William Shakespeare Hamlet here? What am I going to do? How am I going to do that? Shakespeare's my middle name. Bill Hamlet How are you doing? They run amok at this dog show like Reno gets the metal that was

meant for mittens. That's not mittens. The dog runs off. We even get a montage of putting the dog in clothes here. That's pretty much the point of it is to get the dog in funny costumes. Again, I think we forgot about that too, maybe. Like, we really should have put that dog in some funny costumes. Because all of this shit has nothing to do with the plot of the film, so you can stick it wherever the hell you want to.

And also, because this is 1995, we have on full display, America's mid-1990s obsession with Zydeco music. Yes, folks, it fucking happened. I remember it. I was there. I had an uncle who was burning Zytoco CDs for me. Absolutely. And I didn't know this, but I was like, if you're going to talk about the tune, you got to Shazam it and see what's going on. So shout out to Zytoe Forces Shaggy Dog 2 Step playing over this.

I'll tell you, because they forgot something else as long as well as the dogs dressing up thing. You don't get a, ooh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, you don't get. They forgot that. So they had to put the Zytoco in to make up for it. That's the balance of the levels right there. This montage ends with the dog in like a silver convertible that drives away.

You see the kid. And this is how you can tell this was like, we're just having fun making this, right? Like the actor sort of runs by the camera with his hands up. Like what are you going to do? This is so weird. So much fun. Terrible.

So here we go. We're dropping off flowers at my. mom's house. Best scene of the movie right here. Oh my God. It's just sort of, so he goes to drop stuff of his mom. He's like, and I guess the joke is she's like, oh, could you help me with some gardening in the backyard? And the joke is he's like digging this huge ditch or whatever for her. Well, he is caught on his way back off the porch

steps. Like he's dropping off like little seedlings or something for a garden. And he's like slinking away and she's like, oh, Jake, is that you? I just need help with something. It'll take two seconds. and it cuts to Chuck Norris taking a huge hole. Kind of funny. It was the only time of the movie I legitimately laughed. Hey, Ma, is this my grave? Because I want to jump right in here right now.

But yes, he's like, how's it going at work? And he's like, well, not great, Mom. There's this rabid gang of neo-Nazis trying to take over the world, don't you know? And she's just like, oh, yes, well, he was an art student, you know. He's like, what's that? Oh, you know, he was probably the biggest race. on the planet. Who are you talking about, Mom? Hitler, of

course. Oh, my God. And then she's just like, you know, if I was one of those scheming neo-Nazis, not that I am, I would probably do the big bomb tomorrow. Why is that, Mom? It's Hitler's birthday, April 20th.

Oh, it sneaks up on you every year. It seems like each year it's quicker that Hitler's birthday shows up. I forgot to hang the swastika reef. I'm just dropping you a hint so you get me a nice present for Hitler's birthday. I certainly hope you'll be bringing your special girlfriend over to Hitler's birthday dinner this weekend.

Do you need to borrow some wrapping paper have left over from Christmas? Because I have a little left over if you need it. I just need to let you know. That's it. We all know, right, that wrapping paper for Hitler's birthday is just swastika pattern. It has closed.

There's maybe a couple of Iron Eagles thrown in or something possible. Those are nice. Round it out. I could use another commemorative plate for Hitler's birthday. Just saying. Honey, I didn't want to bring it up now. I was going to wait until after Hitler's birthday to tell you. But I think I'm getting old, dear.

This is going to be the last year I host Hitler's birthday dinner at my house. You'll have to read from Mind Kampf next year. I'm retiring. We're in the last chapter anyway. I mean, we should be ready to go. Oh, everybody's celebrating something. Yeah, good for them. You know, all of our Hitler's birthdays are such a mess, Mom.

How did you get through it? Little help from Jack Daniels. Well, in comparison to Chuck Norris showing his ineptitude the whole movie. Aaron shows it here is that you don't get a good zoom in. Like, tomorrow, Zoom. I'm like, oh, wait, what? It must be tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day it's going to happen.

My favorite thing is he runs off and he goes to the captain or whatever. He's like, oh, and the captain's like, oh, great work here. Man, I'm going to inform the FBI. You're going to inform the FBI when Hitler's fucking birthday is, buddy. Like, they got it. They know. They're aware. They got the, oh, God, I'll write that down.

Hitler's birthdays tomorrow. I was aware of the fucking anti-Semitism crime unit. I know what's going on. Right, but they think the big bomb is going to happen tomorrow. So then Chuck goes to investigate this factory, this plant that's owned by the, owned by one of the crouts there. Sure. And I love that the cops are like, oh, yeah, the warrant didn't come through.

And Chuck's like, I'm going in anyway. Yep. Hasn't stop me before in this movie. So off I go. Fuck the law. It's 4 a.m. We're running out of time. Come on, Reno.

We're going into the plant. And this is where he starts talking to this dog And he's like You know, Reno, like I had a dog when I was a little boy And he could hunt and fish with me And I had him for 12 years and it's fantastic. And I guess what I'm trying to say is, well, You're a good cop and all, but this is where it ends.

And I was like, you're not dating this dog, dude. Like, what are you talking to this dog for about shit like this? Why are you talking? You're breaking in somewhere again. The old man fucked this. up. The dog can't understand you. I mean, it's also got fucking diarrhea for whatever you fed it this morning.

And breathing problems from the five fucking slugs that's taken over his life. It's also domed you this whole movie. Like, whenever you want to sit in your chair, it's in your chair, you're just like, oh, fine. And you sit on the couch. Whenever you have a chicken that you're going to have for dinner and it

eats your chicken, you're like, oh, fine. You just allow this fucking dog to walk walk all over your life. You know, Reno, I've never actually invited anyone to one of my mother's Hitler's birthday parties and would you like to be my first guest Why don't you make the

the icing for my swastika butter cookies? Again, yeah, just the only thing you would put on a Hitler's birthday cookie. Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, of course. But what he's telling the dog, it's sort of is like when it's like, you know, a widower, a widower is like, you know, I had the love of my life and I'll never marry again.

It sounds like this, Chuck Norris character, like as a child made an oath. Like, I had one dog and I loved him. And I will never have another dog as long as I live. That might have been something for a movie with an actor in it. You know? Right. Something that could have sold that.

Yes. But instead he finds this rolodex of potential targets, right? Like temples and synagogues and whatever. Correct. Yeah. He's like, yeah, it's going to be all the hit spots for these racist attacks. Meanwhile, those two cops that were waiting outside that are like, we're waiting on the warrant, they just get fucking killed in the car. Unceremoniously, by sort of no one, it's just a,

it seems like it's going to be revealed at some point, but it's not. It's like a joll. It's like a jollo. It's a black glove comes in. It's not a strangulation or a stabbing, but it's a silent pistol. I was waiting for, like, awesome synth music to rise up and start playing at this moment. I would love for anything cool to happen. Yeah, that would be nice. So Chuck Norris. It was more like you just forgot it.

Like, that's like everything else in this movie. Oh, it just feels like they've, forgot this. They forgot to size Chuck Norris up appropriately for the wardrobe department because there's a great shot of him and the dog sort of walking out like through the main part of this factory

or whatever and he's got the book and you just see this ill-fitting ass suit. It's not like David Byrne-esque but like you can just, he looks like it's just a size or two too big and he looks silly. He really looks silly. And this was just men's clothes like men's suits in the 90s were just this. A little big.

We ran a little big back then. You know, you look at a lot of those, especially the earlier X-Files episodes, you got double D in just these big ass fucking clown suits he's walking around in. But that's the thing is double D was able to fucking make that shit work. Oh, yeah. He looked beautiful in that.

Chuck Norris cannot make this work for his life. The big D energy you need to have in there, yeah. Very true. And then, of course, suiting got too tight more recently, I would argue. But so, like, he gives Reno the notebook, and he's like, all right, get out of here, Reno and like two dudes go chasing after the dog and then like the rest of the guys in this factory like join forces to beat the shit out of Chuck Norris and this is like the most fighting

you get into the movie he's kicking dudes in the stomach left and right couple of ball kicks too it's fun yeah I'll take a ball kick oh yeah there's a couple in this movie dude but they's not shy about kicking nuts and like Timothy Bottoms gets involved and they all kind of tackle him and now he's captured and then it takes these people it seems like hours for this dog running around this factory because of the sunrises. Yep. This, I was playing our classic favorite game.

What time is it in this movie? I was like, how long were these two dudes searching for this dog? They did say, Chuck Norris said it's 4 a.m. So that's where he's going. Okay, so possibly. So two hours. Yeah. Yeah, all right.

Because we're trying to, again, we forgot about something. We forgot to do a kind of sort of home alone kind of deal with bumbling, whatever. And that's kind of what this is. There's a straight up home alone. thing that happens here. The dog like there's a guy standing on a wooden board and the dog tosses like a chemical canister

off this ledge and it lands on the other side and this guy gets springboarded into the water. Good God. It's something I guess. Chuck is tied up. Dude's working him over. Dawn on 420 right here.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh yeah. Oh, there's another. So there's other shenanigans that a guy gets a box dropped on him by Reno. Oh, dude, this guy's dead. Oh, yeah, dog, what a great dude? Yes. Yeah.

But then he comes through the other side of it. He's covered in, like, packaging peanuts and... Yeah, there's a bunch of cartoon birds flying around. There should be from the exaggerated, like, eye crossing, passing out he does. Yes, absolutely. This is also where Detective Boyette shows up at the scene. She just finds those two cops totally dead and is like... You want to talk about some take twos here.

It's like officers down in need of assistance. I was like, man, are you scared for these guys or what? So they wake up the chief of police and he's like, well, my retirement and run for mayor is going down the drain. Oh, God. Yeah. Lest you forget that. Also, they have lethal weapon style. Chuck is getting the shit kicked out of him.

And then they're like, oh, fuck, it's Hitler's birthday. I almost forgot. We got to get to town hall really quickly. By the way, I forgot. Where do we? What's the address for your mother? this house. She invited us for dinner for Hitler's birthday. We're going there after the park, okay?

Did you pick up the mini sliders for the Hitler birthday thing? Because we don't have those. We don't have any protein for the whole day. I don't know what you've done. Honey, I can't find the confirmation receipt that has the number that's going to get us to Hitler's birthday sliders. Fuck. Hello, Carvel. No, the ice cream cake was not supposed to have a swastika on it. It was supposed to be in the shape of a swastika. No, not Fudgy the Will. Fure her the way. You have fewer the world. Like a big fat Hitler. Oh, dude, fat Hitler.

Wait. Nate, what do you mean that you'd get the German-style sausages for today? What do you mean that you forgot to do that? You didn't get the skewers, even the German-style skewers. Okay, great. Nate's also fucked today up. Great. Oh, man, Fat Hitler.

German furors don't even yell a bunch of crap at you anymore. They just look at you like this. Well, you know, if you, you know, if you're, you if you don't go to bed early, Fat Hitler won't give you any presents. Every Hitler's birthday, Fat Hitler's and from the movie elves, we know that Elves are, Sam's elves

are Nazis. Oh, right. I forgot about that, yes. It's all coming together. It's all to make sense. Mommy, can we leave some Versht and Dunkel out for Fat Hitler tonight? Now you'd be nice to Fat Hitler or you won't get any of his strudel when you wake up.

Hmm, tastes like hate. I gotta say, Timothy Bottoms as being like, he's clearly given a lot of screen time here as like one of the upper whatever's in this fucking hate group. You know, he's very animated and I've been calling him the horniest Nazi here and whatever. He just gets kicked in the nuts by Chuck Norris and that's the last you see him in this movie.

Yeah, no thank you. You got Chuck Norris like, I'm going to enjoy this. And he kicks him in the balls. And like, that's the end of it. Because there's two major bad guys. One is the not, the actual German guy. Then there's like business guy who looks almost exactly like him with brown hair. And it's very not great.

And they're all at the park. This is Balboa Park, by the way. Apparently, according to IMDB, for the first time in 53 years, San Diego officials opened the famed Balboa Park Bell Tower to shoot several scenes. This hasn't been used since it appeared in Orson Wells' Citizen Kane in 1940. Oh, boy. Amazing. And I looked into this a little bit, and I believe Belboa Parks, some of these shots from within it were used for the palatial estate Zanadu in. Wow. Oh, that checks out. Okay. Yeah, sure. Oh, weird. Do you think Chuck Norris has ever seen Citizen Kane?

No, he went to his grave. Probably not. Yeah, I think that was it. Yeah. So everyone's racing towards this fucking racial unity celebration or whatever it is. And the kid hears on the police scanner. what's going on. So that's what causes him to get on his bike, put a helmet on and drive down a hill like Arnold at the beginning of a commando. And it takes, I mean,

again, he is cold on the trail of this finale for the next 20 minutes. Oh, it's crazy. And it like, so you got this whole thing setting up. It turns out like all the guys like working, like tech for this unity celebration are actually also secret white

supremacist. Sure. Real fucking, uh, echoes of reality here. Uh, kind of, kind of weird, but they're all in like these

perches and they've all got guns and everything. They're all ready to go. And like, you're seeing like every cop car in San Diego fly to this fucking park for this thing. There's like an army of dudes. And I got to say like, how about like the element of surprise or something? We got like 14 cop cars. They're all blaring

their sirens. They got lights on. And wouldn't there be a lot of security there to begin with? The fucking Pope is there. Yes, thank you. Let us not forget the Holy Father himself is here. And what would seem like the most popular rabbi in America, I guess.

Yeah. Whoever that is. Right. Just take a pick. Take a guess. But I mean, whatever. Chuck Norris is like, hey, get all these people out of here. There is a bomb. And so, like, we get everybody out.

And it just turns into a big shootout between cops and racist. And Chuck Norris is trying to, like, get the bomb under the Pope's limo diffused or whatever. Because it's like, the Pope. Yeah, maybe the world's, the country's most famous rabbi. And then like a third dude. Yeah, like I don't know what that guy was, but he's a black cardinal. So there's that.

And like, they're all like in this thing together. And the gag is, it's your classic, which wire do I cut? And then his boss, you see, says cut the blue wire. He cuts the red one. He's like, you never do what I told you. Oh, that's it. Oh, thank God. Yeah.

The Pope is saved. I think, by the way, the other, the black gentleman is supposed to be like a Bishop Desmond Tutu. I see. That makes sense. But, yeah, the red-wire. And I got to say, Clyde Kusatsu, great character actor. He's been on, like, TNG. He's been in a bunch of stuff.

And, like, not even he can save this. That whole, all the comedy in this is so, it's all on his shoulders and it's all not funny. Not his fault. No, no, it's Chuck Norris's fault. He diffuses every, everything just goes dead around him. He's like an EM. It's like an EMP. pulse. Like you go and does everything

goes down. It's actually a perfect way to describe it, yes. Dude, a CNP, dude, Chuck Norris Pulse fucking kills every acting ability in a 10 square mile radius. Michelle Richards chases to the business Nazi guy to the

bell tower and she just punches him out and it's like, you're not so tough, which is again, like we're trying to put that together like, you know, I get it, but we could do better. Could have. Here's why I thought they were about to do a little better because this is a movie where a man partners with a dog who's got an attitude, right? At some point in all of these movies, there is a like, there's like a shit joke, right?

Not necessarily like the dog responsibility, but like, scatological humor is in these movies. Right here, the guy, he starts turning into like a sniveling. He's kind of like, oh, no, no, when she throws him on the ground. I was like, have this dude shit his pants. Yeah, no. You haven't had me any fucking fecal humor. yet this dude's got to be like the, the, ah, duty!

Because he's a huge racist fucking coward. He shits his pants and then Reno runs in and thinks there's, no, no, Chuck Norris goes, hey Reno, hot dog and he eats the guy's dick off. I just drags him by his crotch for a scene. Now we're

setting up, now it's set up payoff with the hot dog. I like that. Exactly. Yeah. A lot of hair on that hot dog. Chuck Norris throws $2 on his body. I just don't know if Aaron Norris can handle a scene that complexity, Eric. I just don't know if he can. It's a lot of balls to keep in the air.

Chuck Norris gets in like a fight, I think, with like, is it the main Nazi guy? He's fucking beating him with the rake handle, which is pretty funny. It takes a while this fight. It's the big one. And like the kid finally shows up just to sort of watch it. Like, you thought like he's going to, you know, kidnap the kid or now the kid's, like, got a gun.

his head or whatever. Yeah. Now he's just there to silence the dog because the dog recognizes this guy as the guy who killed Lou. Yeah. And is like, you know, showing his teeth, like, ready to fucking kill this guy. And like, the dog is not listening to Chuck Norris. And finally, this little kid has to be like, come on, Reno, it's all right.

He caught the Nazi son of a bitch. Right now, like the kid is here because the guy then confesses to killing Lou in front of the kid. Yeah. So that gives the kid closure question mark? Yeah, I think so. But the kid then, right, he should be like, and I'm going to do what I didn't want Reno to do. And he grabs Chuck Norris's gun and shoots this fucking.

That's great. And then Chuck has to cover it up for him. Oh, hell yeah. He covers it up by going, yeah, I shot that racist. Yeah. Or no, he forces the kid. He's just like, time to be a man, Matthew. Come here.

Point that gun. Avenge your grandfather. squeeze it. Your first one's the hardest. Remember that. That's true. Oh, all these. The trigger.

Oh, the trigger. Oh, the trigger. All these remaining racists get arrested. There is a guy during the shootout, like up on one of the towers who gives up. And he's like, I surrender. No. I'll just find more white supremacists in jail. Oh, yeah.

Cozy quarters. Everything is like, now it's great because we solved the, this like global race war that was about to happen. The Pope is alive. Everything's great. Clyde Kusatsu now looking pretty good for dude running for mayor of San Diego right now. Well, I would, I mean,

he's in charge of this dog and this dog now. Reno grabs the Pope's holy scarf or whatever this is. Oh my God, that's right. The Pope is pulled to the fucking concrete going like 40 miles an hour with this fucking dog running. You want to say this dog got shot four times? You fucking take a bite of the Pope.

You've gotten 12. more bullets in you right now. That's just the end of this dog. A Swiss guy in a costume runs up with a halberd and cuts the dog. You just try with that adamantium skeleton, that fucking thing is sporting. You go ahead and try to fucking shoot this dog, you idiots. This dog should have been like the dog in Man's best friend with Lance Hendrick's. Yes. And it pisses acid on Nazis and melts their face off. That would be awesome. Better movie, man. Better movie. But yeah, yeah, just freeze frame on this dog running away. with part of the fucking Pope's costume.

I'm just thinking of the end of a Centura song. Like, bra-p-p-b-na-w-w-w-b-b-wamp-o. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, bough-bob-bau-wrap-bannana. Instead, we get the sub-fat guy John Kayses. The music of like,

I might bark at this, I might bark at that. I might even bark at your mama's cats. Oh, fuck, that sucks. A dog song done in the in the sound of a fucking Mutinite song. It's a fuck you blue song but it's done

in the dogs like I got a gnaw on that bone and I means I'm gonna fuck you. Yep. Mountain up from behind like a dog. We're gonna do it like a dog. There. And then you get that

Zytoe song as played over the rest of the credits. I was sure to watch the very end. Oh, excellent. Reno trained by Boon Naur was like that. Oh really? The Bo NAR. Reno was played by Betty. And this dog was also in Dennis the Menace.

So this dog acted alongside Walter Matho. Look at that. Walter Mathau and possibly Christopher Lloyd. I don't know if they should see it. Christopher Lloyd's kind of like a villain in that. That's a state tune. That's a state tune.

For the scene alone where Dennis the Menace tells Mr. and Mrs. Wilson about how his parents have sex. every Sunday. Except on Sundays when they wrestle. That's been fucking burned in my head for 30. There's a couple. We need to do a kids movie month because we've also

been pushing off the NIST. We need to do Baby's Day out one of these days. This, it is a disgusting thing to sit through but I have to do it. And I've been meaning to get a flight of the navigator. Yeah, that we've we do need to do this. This is all coming

together. Oh, wait, and then we got to throw back in some dog territory. We've been talking about doing that bingo movie for a oh yeah for sure that's a dog stands trial for murder or whatever happens there fine film but that is the end of top dog from auteur Aaron Norris will go around the horn here for some final thoughts and potential recommendations Chris

no are you fucking serious absolutely not are you that fucking movie sucks uh it's and any like it's just it's the Chuck Norris thing you cannot save this thing there is nothing to be done it's like getting Ebola It just give up. It's over.

It's the thing is dead. What are you talking about? Well, if anyone out there has a bowl, I said keep your chin up and we'll see what happens. We'll see. We'll see. Maybe you'll come through it. But even Andrew, the fucking guy who directed the fugitive and made a movie that looks great with Chuck Norris in it, the movie sucks. Just because it kind of looks, it kind of looks okay, that's the best you can do with it.

And that's the absolute pinnacle of the fucking movies. with him. Which Chuck Norris movie did that? That's code of silence which is I think about as good as it gets. Silent Rage is the serial killer one which is also almost almost getting there but still as I argue

it's Chuck Norris you can't do anything about this. It's always bad. Yeah. Steve Sadek, how are you feeling? I'm with Chris on this. I just, Chuck Norris is sort of just a charisma vacuum and like a dog. You know I'm not

made a stone, a fun dog cop movie. Like, you know, you could do work. There are worse premises. I mean, there's much better premises, but there are worse ones. This is absolutely abysmal. It's kind of barely a movie. We're in a barely a movie territory. The white supremacist stuff is really

weird, so it makes it memorable. I'll be thinking about this movie for a long time. That doesn't mean it's good. So, yeah, that's where I'm at. Mr. Siska. And that's why you should see it is because it's a curio, it's weird, it's so fucked up. It's a light, lightest to recommend.

I agree with everything he said. I'm not a Chuck Norris guy. I don't think he's ever made a good movie. I feel like sidekicks is maybe his best, and he's just playing himself, and that's even stilted. But I will also recommend survival game from 1987, starring Mike Norris and Seymour Cassell.

I think Mike Norris is better than Chuck Norris. Wouldn't take much. But honestly, you know, it's a shame that anyone passes away. Yeah, of course. He was a cultural icon, and like you were saying, Steve, Walker, Texas Ranger,

you've gotten enjoyment out of those episodes. Oh, yeah, there are a lot of fun. Oh, incredible performance he puts in in Dodgeball. When he gives the thumbs up, he's just phenomenal. Oh, is that what started the Chuck Norris stuff, or was that a byproduct of the Chuck Norris stuff?

It was in. Yeah, that was already happening. The fix was in. Yeah, I believe so. Got it. Yeah, I'm kind of with Eric here. I think it's a little bit of a seeing as believing because, like, watching this movie try and fail horribly to ride this line between, like, fun kid and dog movie and white supremacist race war nightmare cop film is really something. Like, it's just stunning to me that nobody was like, you got to tone this script down

if it's a guy fucking working with a dog man. You can't have Zigg Hiles in a movie where a guy's partnered with a dog. I think that's just a good rule of thumb and to recommend a Chuck Norris movie that I like where he is a villain and he's not saying anything. You don't have to worry about the acting.

The way of the drag. Of course. He's got a fucking awesome ass fight scene with Bruce Lee at the end of that movie where I believe Bruce Lee rips a tuft of chest hair off of him and it's really something. If he wasn't in that movie, we would never have heard his name. Yep.

He would not be a movie star. We wouldn't know. Bruce, God damn you. But that is going to do it for this episode of WHM. As always, if you want more of the program, head over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies, where you can get episodes just like this one,

absolutely commercial free over there on that sucker, where we also have a bunch of bonus and side shows. If you're new to the world of WHM, we have a whole host of shows over there on the Patreon, including like Steve mentioned, Earlier we released, this was a couple weeks back now, we released our We Love Movies episode

on Minority Report. So that was a lot of fun to go back to that one. Last week also, if you're a sinkable commentary head, we released Jack Asman Terry number two. Which was a lot of fun. Chris Cabin last week, we also late in the week on Friday,

we dropped the latest once in a lifetime. Oh my God. The wrong daughter, one of two Lifetime films starring The Sidney Sweeney. What a fucking. I mean, Andrew, you just finally watch this piece of something else. I don't even want to say anything because it is such a fucking, it just blows you over every

fucking five minutes. You're like, what, why? How? Why'd that do that? Okay. It's truly something. And Chris Cabin, if folks are listening to this on the day it comes out, which is Tuesday, the 16th of June, this Thursday, we're dropping the next episode in our show where we cover an

episode of Beverly Hills 90210 and an episode of Melrose Place that we call Melro 210. indeed. On the 90210, the college drama continues. We haven't recorded this one yet, so I don't know exactly what happens in the actual episode. Oh, I do. We're getting some frat stuff. Oh, frat. Okay. We're going to start with the frat stuff soon. And I assume

cancer will continue its long march across Amanda's body in Melrose's place. But that's all I know about really what's going on there. But I'm sure we'll make for a hilarious, a wonderful episode. Absolutely. Steve Sadek next or, yeah, next Tuesday. So a week from today, the 23rd,

we got something going on for the top tier Patreon supporters. That is right. We're doing a live talk chat. You call it After Dark where we take your questions, hang out at 8 p.m. Tuesday night. Yes, it's a hangout. It's not a talk. I feel like we're not a talk.

Yeah, we can hang out with us, ask us any questions you want. We vibe and vibe. It's a lot of fun. Absolutely. And Steve, also next week, we're dropping a very fun animation damnation. That's right. We're going back to He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, the 1980-something show. We're talking about here, there, skeletons everywhere. It's an episode with a bunch of skeletons in it, which is going to be a lot of fun for us to talk about, I'm sure. Jay, what? Yeah. Stay tuned for a lot of that voice.

Mr. Siska next week, also the Gleep glossary's closing out things on Friday. The Emperor's coming here. The guy who says that in Return of the Jedi, Moth. Gerr Gerard. We're going to be talking about that guy's backstory. I believe this is not even in any of the books and I'm going to have to make my own entry.

Oh, I love this. But I wanted to because the actor just passed away. I've always liked him in Return of the Jedi despite the small amount of screen time. There you go. And we will close out the month of Patreon offerings with our Star Trek Recap show The Nexus

where we're talking currently about an episode of the second season of the dreaded original series, animated series. That's been a lot of fun. And then also, of course, TNG. We're in season five, so that shows running on all cylinders. But the rad thing is, speaking of Star Trek. Be sure to catch us in Las Vegas this August, y'all. We are going to be on hand playing STLV as they celebrate 60 years of Star Trek out there at the biggest and best Star Trek convention, literally in the world, folks. We're going to be out there celebrating 10 years

of our Star Trek recap show The Nexus. On the 6th, 7th, and 8th, we're going to be out there We're at the Rio at the DeForest Kelly Theater. We're going to be talking about in order Star Trek 2, the Rath a con, Star Trek Generations, and Star Trek First Contact. Three of our favorite Star Trek films. We're going to be out there all three nights. You don't need any convention credentials or passes to come see the show. It's separately ticketed. So if you are attending the proceedings, you can also get a ticket and come.

But if you just want to come see us, hang out in Vegas, have some awesome food, do a little gambling. It's going to be a lot of fun. you'll head over to w hmpodcast.com for taking information about that. And Eric, what else? We got, there's so much internet stuff going on. Oh, my God. The internet is so vast. Follow us on social media.

We are now on TikTok and Instagram. We're doing reels and short form clips. That's at WHM podcast. You can find us on those platforms. And also subscribe to the YouTube, which is we hate movies. You can see us go live when we do a on-screen live. We've got some full episodes there.

and yes, we are involved in YouTube shorts now. That is right. Now the awesome thing is, if you are new to this world, every Tuesday, there's a new episode. So Steve, next Tuesday, the show rolls on the summer blockbuster extravaganza continues as we talk about what? Well, I hope you are fluent in minionese because we got the minions, that minion movie coming up.

We're talking about Bop and Assas, our good friends Bob Mackie and Henry Gilbert from the Great Talking Simpsons podcast. They're kind of our animation experts that come on every year. We look forward to it every year. It's going to be super fun. Absolutely. So until next week, when we're all bopping juicy asses,

I've been Andrew Juppin. Stephen Zedach. Eric Cisker. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.