We Hate Movies - S16 Ep880: Broken Arrow (1996, Live in Los Angeles)

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

Recorded Live at the Hollywood Improv in Los Angeles, CA, 22 February, 2026“Travolta just chops him in the neck!” - Steve on Bob Gunton’s character’s demiseOn this week’s Summer Live episode, we’re releasing our Broken Arrow show from earlier this year, recorded in our favorite room to play on tour, the world-famous Hollywood Improv!We were there playing to a packed house to chat about this near-forgotten John Travolta/Christian Slater action film that contains more than its fair share of character actors! Is it sad that audiences probably remember this movie better than they remember another, superior, John Woo-in-America entry, Hard Target? How hilarious is the moment when that old timer gets taken out by the terrorists at his camp site? No shade to stuff like Pet Sematary: Bloodlines, but can we get Samantha Mathis in bigger movies like this again? Is there a better actor to play a cinematic weasel than Bob Gunton? And would this film have been better if Christian Slater’s character was in possession of a magic talisman? PLUS: Nickelodeon’s Guts but it’s also a Giallo film!Broken Arrow stars John Travolta, Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis, Bob Gunton, Frank Whaley, Howie Long, Vondie Curtis-Hall, and Delroy Lindo as Colonel Max Wilkins; directed by John Woo.This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

The water balloon fight was fun until Chris put pee in one. That was a very hot, stingy pee. Got my eyes. Look, I like asparagus. Okay, just leave me alone. I was going to say, it tastes a little weird. You might want to get that check. I mean, it's kind of delicious, like all pee is.

I like pineapple, too. It's asparagus pineapple. But this is, look, folks, if you're getting older, you've got to look out for your friends. We're just trying to keep on track of each other's health here. Chris, your piss tastes funny. Go to the doctor. Now, if anyone is still listening out there,

this is a John Travolta movie we covered out in Los Angeles while on tour the other year, or this year, early this year. Just earlier this year, I'm now believing it. That's crazy, yeah. By the way, we have another John Travolta episode for you, recorded in studio on Patreon available right now on Pulp Fiction. That is correct. We also did an animation damnation on The Smiling Friends,

which is something I'm not even familiar with because I wasn't on the episode, but I'm excited to hear it. Great show. That is one, Steve, I will say on the air to you that you weren't on the episode. And you, a little behind the scenes, are you are the one who edits animation, damnation. I recommend watching the two episodes before you try to cut the episode. Interesting. I think that will help you in the edit.

Okay. That's good to know. The weird show. Yeah. Last week, Eric, we also dropped a gleep glossary, I believe. Yes, on Droma, which is a problematic Star Wars character. later error character, which you've come to find is just a Romani caricature.

So enjoy that offensive episode. I love that. And if you are listening to this on the day it comes out, which is Tuesday, August 18th, this Thursday the 20th, an episode, the next episode of our Star Trek recap show, The Nexus is happening. And that's a very special one.

We are talking about the awesome TNG two-parter unification with Spock and Sarek guesting on TNG. A lot of fun there. And this Friday the 21st, Melrode 210, is dropping and it is we just recorded it there is stuff heating up on both sides of the ball is there not it is great two good ones finally yes

we are going to class and we have no class on 902 very well done there's also once in a lifetime on a lifeguard's obsession coming also also known as butts buts that's actually dropping next Thursday the 27 so keep your eyes

peeled for that to drop but yes broken arrow live from the Hollywood Improv. This was a fun show. That room is always fantastic. The crowd was great. Really great show here. We hope you enjoy. And now time to wash all this piss off our face. Hi, everybody.

Nice, dear. Hike it. Nice. I don't want to show any crack for free. No, that's bonus. That's 50 bucks extra. Meet and greet in the bathroom later. Wacking off dudes, 50 bucks a man? No, no. Oh, please.

That's a legitimate line of work. Los Angeles, what is happening? If I do. Oh. So we're here to talk about a John, an American John Wu movie. That trailer, that is a hell of a trailer for a pretty good movie. Yeah, it is the old trailers better, is it not?

Just a little bit. Ain't it cool? News. That's where they got the name of that site, by the way. That's what they say on IMDB. Is that that truth from God above himself? Just about. Yeah, just about.

Ooh, the new Superman lives. Script just leaked. Ain't it cool? Oh shit, man. Scream two set photos. Ain't it cool? I guess. They love set photos.

They love set photos. Why just leave people alone. Let them make the movie. How about that? That's not cool at all. No. We have a site that has advertisements on it, God damn it. How many of y'all

are familiar with the show we run on the internet? That's good. That's pretty good. If you are here for the first time because a friend brought you, you thank them afterwards. You're going to have a fabulous fucking time. It's going to get a little profane. It's going to get a little gross,

as you can already probably glean if you have functioning ears. Or eyes. Uh-huh. But we're going to get into it, yes. Broken Arrow from 1996, directed by John Wu. He had done one film in America before this.

Can anyone guess it? Hell yeah. Now we got some real heads in the house. I thought it was Remains of the Day. Oh. Ain't it cool? John was working on a period drama Ain't it cool?

Remains of the day, isn't that just night? That is the... It's just... But Jean-Claude Van Dan was great in a Remains of the Day. I remember him just really knocking it out of the park with Hopkins. We're Brimley riding that horse and Remains in the Day.

Oh, no way, that's hard talking. I'm here to wet off my daughter. Wilford, we don't think you're right for the part. How many of y'all had seen this movie before we announced it as the show topic? Nice. Of course. Okay.

Come on. Now, a lot of our listenership is sort of like our age and above. Anybody in theaters on this fucker? Okay. Okay. Right here. Loud and proud. Hell yeah.

Remember that screening experience? Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, because February 9th, I saw it up there. Yeah, it was right there. That was accidental that we're doing it. That's awesome. Didn't even think about it. Did you get your tattoo updated for the Big Three-O?

Fair enough. You know you're in trouble when you got a movie like this that's not about boxing. And it starts with like five to seven minutes of boxing. Well, I mean, but don't you remember that wonderful song that came out of time? Oh, I'm Slater Boxing, baby. I can't take that fucking Nicholson voice. Full shirt boxing, by the way. Everyone, all the way up.

Yeah, what is it? Me at the Beach? Yes. Welcome back to the full shirt boxing network. Everyone's a little uncomfortable about their bodies, but they want to fight. It's more liquid than cloth at this point, Jim. It's just there's no pad of dryness. Yeah, if you are embarrassed by your body but often watch boxing going,

I could do that. Then coming up next, this will be for you. And also, like, it's weird because it's like a sparring match, which you normally have, like, those helmets to, like, avoid, like, you know, brain damage before you fly a nuclear plane. Well, there's not that true. That's not cool. Yeah, it's not cool at all.

It's super not cool. Also, talkie boxing. Oh, yeah. All the shit chat. Back and forth. Why would Christian Slater be fucking friends with this gun? I mean, you're in the same job. I mean, we've all had friendships like this

where you just, you have the same interests more or less. Yeah, they're a bit of a dickhead, but you let it go because they're... Hi, everybody. Yes. but you just let it go, you know. You have to. For instance, Chris is my work friend, and that's kind of the relationship we have. That's where it ends. Once the microphones

go off, get the fuck out of my face. And we also spar and box and do all that stuff, and I go, you know, I like Bruce Lee movies, man. Well, this is, we're still in victory lap from Pulp Fiction and Get Shorty, because this, it sounds like Tarantino voice when he's talking like this. You remember, Ali and Foreman, man, and I'm waiting for him to,

like bring out the stats of the TV. Yeah, the rope a dope. Oh, God. Yep, full shirt boxing network. Yep, he's grandstanding for four minutes in his speech. They allow that on there here. Yeah, he's grandstanding, all right, talking about a boxing match. You'd rather be watching instead.

We're in the monologue round now. Yep, the ref just has to let it happen. He's just going to keep talking. Daniel von Bargans getting in the ring with jeans, folks with jeans. Ooh, jeans. That's tough. Dude, yeah, that's how Kid Rockbox is. Well, he's a...

Kid, you want to throw a couple fistmarking for it. Come on, kid, fist me. Fist me in my jeans. You're a lovable duo, aren't they? They're fun. They're cute. You're seeing a couple bettering themselves together, right? They're very cute.

They knock someone for working out. They're trying to better themselves. Jeans in a sauna is like a... It's a crime against yourself. I don't care about whatever's cool looking, but like your balls, my God, your balls. You've created a nice little vinegar pool down there. Somehow his balls are going to get measles, right?

They're not vaccinated. Wait, wait, wait, sir, no, let me get the translator up to your mouth first. And this is the healthiest guy in America, I'm told. He is. He is. Hell of a guy. But yeah, so we're boxing. We're letting us know that we're two characters

with two different opinions. Yes, that's right. A little friction. We're like six years older than each other, but it's like kind of a big deal for some reason. Yeah, well, yeah, because he's doing like father figure plus little brother thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And while this is going on, you get something that's truly stunning. Like third, like the cast, the people that you saw on screen, right, third build is Howie Long? Yeah. Oh, yes. If you don't know who Howie Long is football's Howie Long. That one.

Or Firestorms, Howie Long, excuse me. Oh, right. That was when he throws the axe at the camera in the trailer. Yes, yes. And his role should have been Howie Short. This is way too long of a role for him. It is. Because the studio loved him, apparently.

He was supposed to die early on, but they were like, that Howie Long and that haircut really has it. So the thing that I said about any cool news is fake, but what you're saying about the studio, loving Howie Long, is totally true. Listen, I don't have the receipts in front of me. I just believe what I believe. Well, I imagine it's closer to, oh, that's the football man.

Yeah, put him in more. I love football, man. I love him. Do you think Sports Illustrated did a movie review, like, just for this, and it was like, Long scores a touchdown? Yeah. Absolutely. They have a film critic for one.

one episode, or sorry, one issue. Ultra part-time, only when like a sports movie comes out, this dude sort of chimes in. Yes, but then when Firestorm came out, penalty on the play, Firestorm sucks. He's like a Forest Ranger that's also fighting terrorists during the fire? That sounds right.

That's a lot going on for one screenplay. I'm just going to put that out there. Unlike Broken Arrow, just tight. Tight as it's drawing. Oh, boy. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, so Travolta beats him Slater being, you know, whilst explaining him what boxing is while they're doing it. And then nobody is like bruised at all, like even though he gets knocked the fuck out.

It's like Wolverine, I guess. Yeah, it's a quick one. I mean, we set up so many things. This was the time this kind of screenplay. Graham Yost, by the way, of justified the great Graham Yost wrote this. Oh, Speed, of course. but they're setting up all the things that are supposed to make sense at the end

of like, oh, the $20 bill. Oh, yeah, did you steal it? No, I owe you. And then, like, the fucking, the, Ollie Foreman shit. Just like so much of the, what a rope. What's a rope a dope? Which is just lying.

I mean, the thing about, like, yeah, man, I prefer Bruce Lee movies. It's so later in the movie, Christian Slater can go, boop. Yes. And kick the shit out of Travolta with that little... It's not white guy karate.

It's less than. It's just like... It's white guy leg lifts. It's all... I'm not normally like the I could do this guy. No. But I can... Dude, you can get up a higher nap.

Take that, John Travolta. Et cetera. But yeah, we box. Then we are going on a nuclear emission. And you're smoking in your boss's office. Like, you would. Yeah. It is like 1996, but it's also totally inappropriate.

Yes. And they just to be like, when did you become the leader of the Air Force? And he's like, I don't know, man, when did you? Put your cigarette out. Well, we know he's a badass because he's smoking in his bosses. And then he puts it out with his fingers? Yeah. Nice.

The big fuck you. It's cool. I think I can figure out why this guy didn't make Colonel. Yeah. Well, when he does it. High school anymore, asshole? Like here in the middle? military button that shit up.

Yeah, like, you're in a meeting, and it's just like, yeah, that's right. I think we can bomb that village. And you can tell it's not the only time because Christian Slater at me is like, oh my God, he's doing it. Fuck. Happen again.

All right, man. No, you're cool. No, you're cool. One episode of the X-Files and he takes these cigarettes smoking man. Could he use Cancer Man in this movie? Oh, yeah. In the back of like this office scene,

specifically. Because the score goes a little X-filely of parts of this. Oh, of course. You know, why not? This movie could have used an ail. I'll say it. Yeah.

Throwing in there. Why not? Like, I'm stealing these nukes because aliens. Well, I mean, speaking of cancer, man, at the end of this, they should all have cancer, right? Yes. That's true. Everybody's teeth should be falling the fucking out.

You're not, I don't care if it's underground. You're not supposed to be next to the nuclear explosion. You're glad we made it out of life, Samantha, Mattis. Let's fall in love. Samantha Mathis keeps on throwing up, man. I don't know what to do. Her teeth are falling out. Good news is I'm sterile

so I don't have to wrap it up anymore. Finally, something good to come out of me foiling this terrorist attack. But they're doing like some just, it's a normal, I guess they're doing this every day with stealth bombers, just flying over Utah. Sure, yeah. Fully armed, ready to go.

In case the Mormons rise up again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to keep those dudes right in SLC and not an inch outside of... Containment. and I know they breached, I know they're here. I know they walk among us. Well, that's, I mean, what's funny about the trailer

is that it opens and it's like, they are, the first line of defense. And most of this is then playing like a little game with each other. Like, can you find me? Can you find me? I'm my hair? Oh, nope, too low. I'm too low. With the nukes on board. It's like nuclear guess who kind of.

Jesus Christ. Oh, man, I thought I found the nukes, but it was just a fat, bald guy dressed up like a mailman again. I loved that game, but I was always just getting the fat bald guy dressed as the mailman. It was weird. It happened sometimes. There was that weird guy with the Nazi goatee in that, too. I feel if we're reprinting guess you today, a couple of those illustrations might be a little different.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wish we had like a slideshow presentation to show everyone what these were. All of our guess who characters. But it's, yeah, we're just going to do it, and Delroy Lindo is going to check if, and French Stewart, by the way. Of course. You'll blink and you miss it. French Stewart is.

Totally. The whole of his back. His face is all blinking you miss it, right? Squinting you miss it. Squinting you miss it. Squinting he misses it. I'm not missing shit, I'm looking right at fucking friends. Right, because I'm not watching it.

Now, if you're under the age of 40, there was a show called Thurt Rock from the... Play the secret alien. Joseph Gordon Levitt was in it. Yeah, him. He could have been the alien that this movie means. You know, he's right. It's just like the third act in Delroy Lindo's like, we're fucked, we're fucked. And then like French Stewart, like slowly turned.

Don't worry. Are you missing me? Sir, we're going to do an alien autopsy. He has two hearts. Well, this episode's brought you in part by Rocket Money. I don't know about you, but August, those days of oggy-doggy, I try to get my act together for the upcoming fall. And you should do.

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That's RocketMoney.com slash WHM. RocketMoney.com slash WHM, which stands for We Hate Movies. But, yeah, so we're going to do this mission, which is going to be great. and is he smoking in the cabin or is he not smoking in the cabin? I don't he's smoking in the cabinet of the stealth bomber. He's doing Christian Slater that courtesy. We loved stealth bombers in the 90s. Oh, yeah.

Oh, dude, we loved it. Have they like just come out or something? They were the hot new thing. Oh, yeah. Are there any plain people here? Yeah, sir, right? You were like, yep, exactly. Specks on the stealth bomber.

You're created. What are we talking? 544? I've got 1943. Wow. It was not as shit. Exactly right. It was the hot new thing.

I had a really shitty like stealth bomber Windows 95 game. Oh, wow. Yeah. The effects look better than what you see in this movie when they're farting around up there.

Well, it's like, oh, remote combat. You know, that's kind of fun. Yeah, yeah. That's the new world. So they go off on their mission, right? And then we have to meet the other part of the movies. So it cuts to these like old timers camping. I love this.

I love this. part, man. Like Michael Man directed a fucking Jason movie. I don't know. These people are annihilated. Well, they deserve it. They deserve it because this Grampi's doing

a fire in the park. He's not supposed to do. And he knows he's not supposed to do it. And then he sees all the Humveys come down. He's like, oh, what did I do something, bro? Shoot him. Well, this is the John Wu of it all. Because again, like, maybe that's in the script and like, oh, we want to show these are bad hombres. And he

shot and he dies, this guy gets lit up. Yeah. And then falls into the campfire that he illegally was doing. Yes. As he should. As he should. Justice. Oh, fuck, Wanda. Okay, put the ice cream away. I got to go talk to the man out here. And then he gets shot and put in the fire. Nice and cooked. I love seeing her

get shot in the head, too. Great silhouette there. Very artful. Artistic death taste. Well, she's probably like, Tom, come back to bed. Oh, no, I'm dead. What? Also, the little cherry on top of all that you see this guy get like eight in the chest and he falls forward on his own campfire, it's very funny. But he looks almost exactly like Santa Claus.

He does. So it's just kind of this view after the fact that if you're rewatched it or you go back, it's on prime tonight. Just kind of fast forward to that. It's like, Santa down. Santa on vacation. Oh, no, man. Now I got to be Santa. Oh, shit, man.

Santa's burning alive. Looks like it's up to me. The suit's on me now and I have to go, deliver presents. I'm too fat to fly the stealth bomber on Christmas now. What with all the Santa magic that's happening?

Dude, reindeer's pulling the stealth bomber? Maybe. That's something. That's definitely in a draft of the Santa. Yeah. Like, it didn't make it. I was going to say, that's like definitely on some uncle's Christmas card that he's sending out.

God bless America. and Santa Claus at the same time. Of course, this allows the first killer we meet. He goes from normal voice to evil voice. Secured. Yeah. And here we got Bob Gutten and the crew coming out. Bob Gutton.

Have you just seen Santa Claus roasting and then Bob Gunton gets out of the car? You know that he's crooked. Here comes the bad guys right now. Bob Gunton. You know the character Bob Gunton. You might know him recently as being the body double of dead heroin. Ramos in Ghostbusters afterlife, because they said, who looks

like a fat dead guy? Bob Gunton. I can play that. Yes, me too. Yeah. But I don't know, I've been thinking about that just really quickly, though. Like, thinking about that movie and how that scene unfolds. Egan's just a cartoon ghost

the whole time. What the fuck? I need Bob Gunton to do anything. You need an authentic gut, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, your ass looks bubbly enough. Come on. Come on. Come over here. And he's also famously the Warden from Shotschnik Redemption.

That's the big one. Usually plays a shithead. More times than not. He's always telling people not to do things. And this one, he says it too many times. He gets chopped at the throat. This is a very funny death that he gets later in this movie. Oh, my God.

But we're flying over. And we're kind of buddies again. He's like, I can't bleed. You beat me in boxing. I'm kind of seeing three horizons right now. Is that okay? What's the... Is that said?

Claus over there, take a look. And then John Travolta pulls him done. Do you hear bells? Where's the bells coming from? Everywhere. Oh my God, man. It looks like Santa's on fire down there. I think he got CTE from our weekly boxing.

Yes, but he goes, hey, look over. The literal, the look over there. Hey, what's that? Yes. He is so, like, this is like, it's, the performance is 70% Travolta on the victory lap. But then also, like, this, The leftover is just Bugs Bunny.

Yeah. It's just very cartooning ingrained that you look over there. He keeps on talking throughout this movie about don't fire at the thermonuclear weapons. Is it that much better to be firing a gun in the cockpit of a super secret plane from the military with nukes on board? Hey there, I think you're right. We took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Jesus Christ. You're right, Chris. He does like a parlor scene in a stealth bomber. as opposed you just want to knife and just get him. Yes, knife him. If there was ever a time for a tasteful poisoning. You know, you're drinking a coffee on the time. It's late at night.

Come on now. But then it's kind of funny because he knocks the gun out. It's so close quarters, they get into like a slap fight. Knock it off, knock it off. I'll tell mom. I'll tell mom. Not hitting you kick a man. Not hitting you can't.

The seatbelts are on. It's two children fighting in a minibair. The back. The back door slides open. Now, boys, I'm just getting into my crochet here, and I don't want to hear anything from this room. I will turn this stealth bomber around so fast you hear me. Just you remember who's in charge, okay?

Del Rey-Lindo is on the ground. Don't make me come up there over. You're not my real, dad. I know you don't mean that. But yes, this is a big argument in fight, and Travolta ejects first, right? That's how he does the old

get you there later. And he goes up. And then it's great because Travolta kind of gets a message in like, oh, like Hale's lost it, he's gone crazy. And we should say at this point,

the editing of this movie is abysmal. It's absolutely terrible. The studio chop this movie to shit to get like a half an hour off of it so a lot of it kind of doesn't make any sense and there's like a lot of shit you should see but don't. So like Travolta doesn't have his little helmet on, right?

he pulls the thing and launches out helmet-free. This cartoon of him goes flying back, helmet on. Yeah, yeah. Well, because, I mean, the CGI of having all that blood and, you know, brain matter float into the night sky. Probably not going to look too good either. Dude, this is Broken Arrow. You could cut to a, like, a CGI close-up of him,

or he's green screen. It's like, this is good. Like, his hair's going. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I wish that was the worst continuity. in this movie. We'll get it. Oh my God. There's a big one coming up, folks. A couple of them. But, yeah, Slater lands in the desert,

and he runs across Samantha Mathis, the great Samantha Mathis. That's right. Park Ranger Terry Carmichael, and this is a pump up the jam reunion, which is awesome. Hell yes. Hell yes. Pump up the volume, excuse me, yes. I've got to re-watch my happy Harry Hart on it. Get the title right.

And they have, like, an argument fight thing. Like, it's a Mexican stand-up, and then it's four-time. times than one scene. This is more Looney Tooth shit. It is, yes. No, it's rabbit season. Now I've got a gun and you've got a knife. Now I've got your knife

and you've got my gun and we're going to go back and forth, the back. Is anyone entertained by this? Now I'm wearing your park Ranger hat. I'm telling you, you have to put out your fire. Pilot season, Ranger season. Pilot season, Ranger season. Now you're stuck in my parachute. All right.

You take my jumpsuit. I'll take your badge. They go back and forth, but he's He very nobly doesn't murder her. Oh, that's good of him. That's how you know. He's a good guy. Now, look, I could have murdered you, so now we're best friends. Oh, and by the way, I need your help.

What a sales bitch. I haven't cut your throat. Help me out. Can you do anything for me? And it's really just a car, I guess. They start running off. A lift, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's nice.

Good ride out there. we come back to Kurtwood Smith who's like the he's the president's chief of staff and this is how you know this movie was cut to shit because Kurtwood Smith is in this movie and by the time the credits roll it's not been confirmed that he's definitely crooked in this movie

he has to be it's definitely like a fourth secret bad guy that you know he had some scene of like well another thing Frank Whaley you a dumbass or whatever it is and it was like dun dun dun dun someone in the higher echelon of government is also in on this but I guess they just didn't Well, you're waiting for the scene from Frank Whaley to come back and, like, him in, like, an empty boardroom or something, and Kurt Wood Smith comes in.

And he just is like, you know, general, I just found this new thing. It's a payment from you to you. I never thought I'd have to come to this. You're like a son to me. That's the ending. But instead, they, like, I don't know, like, it's as if back to the future happens outside of them. They get erased from existence. Right.

That whole subplot just goes up in a cloud of smoke. There should be a shot of Kurtwin Smith and Daniel von Bargand, like, talking over like a chart or something, and they both just dissolve them. Wait, what happened? What the fuck? We need those guys. What the fuck? Look at the newspaper. It's changing. He's not the chief of staff anymore. Because they're like, you know, they're in the big war room and like, oh, this, they're trying to come up with a story. And Frank Whaley comes in, like a hot shot young kid. And he's like, we can't lie to the American public because we're at the U.S. military. Day number one.

Okay. The reason we can is because aviation monthly might figure it. Oh, man. Oh my God. Not aviation monthly. They'll sink us.

It's worse than that. The Skydiving News Network found out about this. They saw some parachutes in the horizon and they wrote it up. This just in some sad news near Salt Lake City. Two parachutes scene going out of a

pretty cool new stealth farmer. And also some new are lost. Goodbye. It's unconfirmed whether they said radical as they went down. We do have to assume that they... Not all the facts were on the ground, yeah. Oh, yep, that's confirmed. One of them was gleefully smoking a cigarette on the way to the ground. We here at the Skydiving News Wetton Network do not encourage smoking while

diving. But if they were injured, cowbonga and rest in peace. A little on-air prayer here. But so, yeah, that's kind of like the I think his only function, Frank Whaley, is if somebody could explain to him what a broken arrow is. Yeah. And then, like, he's like,

well, I'm out of the movie. Goodbye, everybody. I'm going to have a big Kahuna burger somewhere or something. Yeah, yeah. No, Kurt Woodsmith says the line. He has explained it. And then they, Vondi Curtis Hall and the, is that he with the Ness team, or are they afterwards?

They're the first team with Howie Long. Yes. Because as Travolta ejects, he lets loose the nuclear weapons. that apparently can, apparently, according to some military guy, can sit in jet fuel on fire for five hours. Yeah. Totally cool.

Totally fine. Stealth enthusiast, what do we got there on that? Anything? Absolutely 100% true. All right. Nice. All right. Well, that's good.

That's good. That's honestly good news. You may work for the IMDB, do you? Just checking. My God, it goes all the way up to the IMDB. That's, it sounds like a government branch, right? you know. Steven Sadek, IMDB, this is a...

Oh, yeah. There has been a goof reported on this set. Of course, the internet movie, Cabal, as we know them. What are you got for me in trivia? Come on. There happens... Oh, my God, sir, there's an alternate version. Sir, sir, it's coming in at one star, one star.

This guy gave it five, okay. Pull up, pull up. This is so fucked up. Someone put that hell razor was shot in two, three, five aspect, ratio. It's 185, goddammit. Wait, wait. Sick, Fah!

It's a maniac! Someone get the president on the phone. There was a workprint for this film. There was no work print. Cigarettes smoking. It never existed. I do love when they discover the wreckage of the plane and the nukes aren't there.

There was a great Fondie Curtis Hall. Oh, Farr! Yes! Think about the worst day you've ever had at work, and then imagine, like, you lost nuclear weapons. Yeah, there's... Not a good day. There's the register being $5 light

and two world-ending missiles. But you know, it's all about, like, what you got going on, man. There's $5 short of the draw. That could also elicit... Oh, for sure. Yeah, it goes down to what I imagine is a pristine Pentagon bar.

And he's like, Charlie, better make it a double. Got two nukes out there, don't you know? Now, would that be two broken arrows, or is the whole thing one broken arrow? That's a good question, actually. There's a broken arrow for the table, please. Yeah, please. I think it's broken arrows.

I'm willing to say that. There's numerous broken arrows. The arrows are broken. Yeah, yeah. But maybe it's like a per plane thing. Oh, right. Yeah. The plane is the broken arrow.

That could be. I don't know. Or Zell Lema kind of looks like an arrowhead, you know. Whoa. You're blowing my mind. I know. Or do you like, you know, have to pluralize the broken's, the broken's arrow. Well, that's...

Oh, like attorneys general. Yes, exactly. This is probably what they cut. from the Frank Whaley at Kurtwood-Smith scene. So, wait, is it just an arrow normally? Is it just called an arrow when you fly? I'm really tired of this kid. Where are the fucking doves is my question.

Cut out. Scenes deleted, man. Absolutely cut out. Scenes deleted. There's some dub. Who, what the fuck? This was my big break. Do doves sound like pigeons?

I don't know. They're kind of the same thing. Just disgusting birds. It's okay. Close enough. Whatever. fine. Yeah, so basically we're running around. Oh, this is

kind of the dude with his shoe untied gang or a looney-tuned shit. Oh, yeah. Where, like, these dudes come up and there's, like, a couple of fellas, like, hanging by a helicopter, which I guess they're the military is the idea. Yes, yeah. Hanging out over the crash site, and then more, like, Bob

Gunton and his goons come over or whatever, and this guy gets out of the car, and he's like, oh, you need any help there? And this dude's like, nah, man, we're in the military. Like, I don't know who you are, and he goes, oh, Oh, my shoe. And bends down. And this dude with a sniper rifle is directly behind him.

Oh, God, it's great. But what's weird is so one guy dies believably, right? Like, you get shot, he goes flying back this way. Love that. Very believable, right? The other guy gets shot in the gut, and instead of, like, falling back, falls forward somehow as if, like, the devil pushed him? Yeah.

Yeah, just like JFK, right? Yeah. Famously. official reports, right? You will fall back and do the left. I think the Warren Commission said the devil pushed him that way. Because he was evil, because he was Catholic. You might want to get them...

It's true. Yeah. You might want to get the Warren Commission on this one, too, I think. Arrow, we got a broken arrow. My brains are flying out. The president's an arrow? Yes, the president's an arrow. The magic bullets the arrow. Pretty impressive he made that phone call about what was happening.

You better get down here I'm in big trouble I got shot in the head I don't know how it's happening either Yeah I'm speaking on the first cell phone That's why they're killing me No no Jack Jack take that banana out of your hand

It's not a phone It's not a phone Jack My nephew better not be a shithead in the future Oh we have some bad news for you He was exposed to radiation at some point I believe so Climes, dude, that made the Hulk, whatever. He should be, he shouldn't be in the administration.

He should be with a B-Bach and Rock Steady somewhere. It was any or all nukes or possibly, as I've read, really bad heroin. Like, incredibly bad heroin. I've got a broken arrow. My needle is dry. That's it. I need to wet my beak. Who needs a needle when you have a toilet seat at a bus station.

actually these are cleaner than normal normal bathrooms if you actually think about it these are more clean piss is actually clean this is when basically Vadi Gurdikertes Hall and Howie Long find the missiles and are like Vadi Gurdikerdes Hall is like all right I'm going to just disarm this missile

and it's kind of amazing like the crew the bad guys are shooting at all the military dudes Howie Long's like right there he looks like everybody else but they know not to shoot him, I guess. Well, yeah, because he's one of the first one. He gets that the hat right off. So you can see the dipshit haircut, and you can see that thing.

Because that is a haircut you can spot from space. 100%. That high and tight he's gotten the same cut, like, every single time he's been to a barber. Right. Yeah, no one else in the military has that hair cut. It's mostly shaggy looks here, Eric. It's funny. I remember those Radio Shack commercials he was in with Terry Hatcher,

where they pretended to be a couple for some. reason but actually weren't. That's going to be odd. You know what I mean? It's one thing at a movie, but if you're like, oh, that's that couple from radio show, then we don't date. I hope they had an intimacy

coordinator on set for that. They're around those cheap phones. You're pretending to be married just to sell me batteries? Like, what is that about? He's going to a party. This is my lovely wife. What happened with you and Terry?

No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Miss? Sorry? Miss? What happened with Terry? That's just a scam to sell you portable televisions. They barely work. Oh, my God. I have been manipulated to my very core. But it's actually proof to their chemistry or whatever

because I learned that not more than two hours ago from Steve. You just assumed they were married. Yeah, no. They were great together. I wish Radio Shack still existed just so I could still see that beautiful commercial campaign. Well, there must have been at least one argument in the long household. go back to your Radio Shack Hoare. Don't talk to me like you talk to your Radio Shack or.

Oh, yeah, well, that's it. I'm shopping at Circuit City from now on. Why don't you go sell some cordless phones with your Radio Shack? No, no, I'm sure. I'm sure you're not sleeping with Lois Lane. I'm sure. All right.

Yes, sir. Oh, yeah, baby. Howie long as Superman. No. Oh, awful. just you know possibility no yeah yeah

as Captain Adam wow that's for six people but it's gonna be on the internet so it's gonna be for like 19 people ultimately thank you Steve

one of them here really liked there you go we should talk about it right here because it comes up a little bit and this is like when they waste those dudes with the tying my shoe gag

or whatever first of all the assassin takes chocolate out of a dead man's hand and starts eating it. That's really something. Like stealing candy from a corpse. Yoink and gross. I mean, Bob Gotton is acting like such a father to all of these fucking guys. I was waiting for him like, you didn't have a good breakfast?

You're eating that in the beginning of the day? Why don't have it? Apples. Some eggs. Come on now, kids. There's not too much blood on it. If it's a wrapped Snickers bar, maybe. This thing's got a bite out of him. Yeah. I'm looking at a loose chocolate, dude. It's half of a Hershey's with almonds. It's disgusting.

You spotted the correct nut in there? Is that one? Well, because it's in the middle. Chris? It's not pebbled like with the peanut right down the middle. Add that to the... This can happen to the chocolate factory. Add it to the IMDB needs you. I know.

Put that up there. There's a whole on-screen candy section that we should develop. Look, it takes a lot to get out of that cabal, Eric, and I'm happy I did. the candy movie database? Oh, dude. The MDB. Yeah. But yeah, so

oh, I wanted to bring this up right here because the music he was hit before, but it hits here hard. This fucking, like, Travolta-specific thing that they then used in Scream 2 onward of those movies for Dewey's, you know,

so... Dum, dum, dum, dum. Boom-bow, boom-bow. It's almost Twin Peaks, but not. Just enough not to get to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

One more line, motherfucker, and you're going to jail. Hey, Mr. Wu, I went to the theater and caught Broken Arrow. Two questions. One, no Wilfred Brimley? Two, the fuck with that score. Diane, 1125, entering the town of Twin Peaks. I could definitely see him as Kyle McLaughlin, but also thank God he didn't do that.

It would have been. No, thank you. That's a one-season situation. No, sir. But you're right, though, the score is so weirdly incongruous for, like, the main villain of your movie. It's for, like, when you see, like, the handsome star of the high school football team

come over a ridge. Yes. Not this dude, like, putting his belt on. It looks like he's coming around the corner and taking a piss behind this helicopter. It's a cowboy song. That's what it sounds like. That's why it makes sense when Dewey is coming over a hill

and he's first there. Like, yeah, he's kind of the sheriff. Come on. Yeah, it makes sense. It's more enforcement. Exactly. And this doesn't make any sense. It's vaguely romantic, too. So, like, him and Courtney Cox get together. It's not, he's not John Travolta about to nuke a city. It's off. Well, okay, but how about shaking hands with Samantha Mathis, very kindly?

Also, vaguely romantic. Care for a Coke or something? Bo, bough, bough, bough. Like, it just doesn't work. No. No, thank you. He is also smoking right here again. I don't think we pointed this out, but this is, It's a leftover from Pulp Fiction. I don't know, he's probably smoking in Get Shorty, but he's doing it here, and he does it in face off.

When he's smoking, the hand position of the butt, it's like he's playing a trumpet. Like, it's just like, B'u-Dur-B-D-Smoking. Like the two fingers are kind of up, it's, it is amazing the way this dude holds cigarette. Ain't it cool? Yeah, it's kind of cool.

He's like, f, f, f. Just, s, s, s, s. like smoke grids. Wait, no. Wait, he's not going to do it. Is he? Is he gonna... Duran, darn, darn, dur, down. It's just, it's an amazing, like, overacting, making a meal out of smoking a cigarette kind of a thing. So then, Howie Long's got to call Delroy Lindo here, and this is where we're doing, like, a, like, an old-timey radio play, you know, when they want to do those old-timey radio plays, they want to do, I guess we'd, like, do a

dramatic podcast these days. When do you want to, like, set the atmosphere, have a little tone for what's going on, you do like little sound effects and whatnot. Sure. We're calling Delroy Lindo to be like, oh, we think one of the nukes cracked open to buy them some time. And Travolta's using this like 1967 electric razor? I wish he had like one of those little doors that they have on the old radio plays. Nope. The shadow enters.

I can hear, I've heard a nuke before that was a nuke. I just know it. It's got a big, solid, shagging. Oh, it's a dark. stormy night out there. Oh, and then enters Colonel Deacons. For some reason there's a big saw.

And I guess maybe this is what the producer saw, right? And this is when they were like, we want more, because the other person who's participating in this ruse is Howie Long, be like, oh my God, Dale Rolando, it's a disaster here, but he's like, pretending that he's a scab. He's like, oh, my God, boss, I'm dying down here. He's spying it.

Oh my God, oh, my teeth are falling out. Yeah. Oh, we will send help what we can, but we did hear he's buying it over the radio. Oh, fuck! Yeah, they accidentally leave it in, and they're just like, oh, God, thank God that Howie Long is dead. I was so, God, God, he's so annoying, especially on birthdays. So this is what we get. I think it's like the first major helicopter destruction here.

There are so many explosions in this movie. No, remember, there's like explosions and then what I was calling significant explosion. Yes. The real humdinger is where you're like, hot damn, practical effects. Three helicopters lose their lives in this. Inside a count of, I'm going to say,

safely 15 significant explosions. Well, I feel that is, the first two discussions you have with John Wu is the Squib budget, but then the explosion budget has to be right there and they really let him do quite a lot here. I don't think there's a single CGI one. It's all real deal and it looks phenomenal.

It does. Juggling grenades in those caves. Oh, nice. It's so good. Isn't that what Al Pacino did and son of the woman or whatever? That's how I went blind. Oh, right. Yeah, Bradley Winford snidly tells that tale over Thanksgiving.

Bradley Whitford also. like Christian Slater, both went to Jack Nicholson school for a little while. A little bit. Like, yeah, I'm working in the fucking White House, man. It's a little bit, just that thing where, you know, we're so fucking ironic and cool, man. I hate that Billy Madison, man. Winford's got closer haircut.

He's got a lot of real estate up there. I would have voted for Obama three fucking times. But so this chopper's coming at there, and Kristen Slater's like, oh man, what are we going to do about this man? And Samantha Mathis goes, don't worry, I've got a plan. And she runs up this ridge and gets like schnauz to schnaz with this helicopter and goes, no, don't shoot. Fucking bang your plan, Park Ranger.

Asking politely is a plan. Yeah. Well, it would be one thing if that was the only exchange. but there is a helicopter going and then they're, where is Christian Slater? And they're pretending like they can hear her from there. It's just not happening. She goes, I don't know.

But he's there and he shoots this guy in the neck from like, this is an incredible shot. Crack shot. Yeah. He should have been on our Olympics team of the shoot skiing, whatever you call that. So we were fucking sucking a dog's ass in that event. I don't know if you were watching the Olympics, man.

Pretty ironic for Americans to suck shit. It's the gun one. That really, yeah, it's too bad. The winner looks out that it's over. It's always like, oh, look out for the American team at this event they're going to suck shit in. And it's always Bjorn and all his friends are always like the top five.

Oh, the American finished nine. That's pretty impressive. Bjorn earned it. But yeah, he nails them and it explodes. A really cool, like, rotor explosion. It's awesome. Yes.

It's about to get, like, cut right in half like a Bond villain was after or something. The chopper just goes right down, premium explosion. Beautiful. Really loved it. Yeah. And then this,

around here, so this is like, they set out, because like, one of the guys is like, oh, wow, that explosion sounded really horrible. You think he just probably,

like, crashed into the valley wall, right? Like, nobody took him out intentionally. It was an accident. Travolta's like, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I punched Christian later pretty hard.

I don't think he's going to live. But so this is they set out to go, like, see what the wreckage was. And then this is where Christian Slater adopts some superhuman capability. We've got like this motorcade going across and they're transporting the nukes and he's like, the nukes are in the first car

and she's like, how the fuck did you see that? Oh, I can see because there's only one guy driving. And I'm like, you're a thousand yards away. There's a windows or tinned. Well, I got this weird talisman that gives me animal powers. It's the eye of the eagle And the power of the bear

The speed of a mongoose span It's fucking fat I bought it in a pawn shop In Trenton, New Jersey From an old wizard Look at my teeth I got fangs now Of the snake

I also got a maguai While I was there Oh yeah One of those all-inclusive stores Of course yeah I just put that on top of it The Towsman and the Maguire Because it was like

If you spent 75 bucks are up, you got a Mogwai for free, you know. You're not going to say no. To the free gift, they're going to stop giving them. Well, those gremlin, they fucking breed like rabbits. You got to get rid of them. It's totally. It's like having, you know, 20 puppies in your house.

You can't do it. I guess it's better to have them in the Southwest a little bit less rain, less case of that happening, but still. Don't shop. Yes, please. Also, specifically your mogwai in Arizona, because they got rid of that fucking pesky daylight savings time.

Won't make that mistake again. You don't be feeding them after dark. And spay and neuter. spay and neuter. Dude, how was that never, like, I don't know, like the ASPCA teamed up with Hamblin, and it's just like, I feel like you spay and nudity your pets

and it's gizmo like, twr! Well, you're talking about the plots of Grumlins 3, and that was going to be a hell of it, that him, Mogwipe versus vets. Gremlin's 3 still wet? Hell yeah.

Oh. I don't know about, You pitching brazzers these days or what? That would work? You get the wedding, gets a dumb, I don't know. Yes, Stephen, this is the FBI. We're at your house. You were the only person on planet Earth

to try to watch that fake Gremlin's porn video we put up there. We see that you purchased a, what is this, an erotic magwai suit. Could you explain that to us, sir? It's totally logical. It fits. I mean, number one.

You bought five of them, sir. What would they get wet? Oh, yeah, you don't want to reuse that too much. Listen, the whole point about criminals is you can't get them wet, so if they're still wet, now you're in real trouble. It's true. You don't want them to get wet. It's true.

I see. I'll be here. I think it's a good title. Yes. You want to dry hump your grimlins, yeah. Now, close your eyes. Imagine it's Gremlins 3, colon, still wet, but it's all written in neon. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Oh, how about this, like, because this takes place in Utah a little bit. How about Gremlin's 3 soak it? Oh, now. Soak it. It's okay. Officer, I just put it in there, and then, you know, I don't know, another Gremlin jumped on the bed. I don't know, man.

I think putting it in there would probably still be against the law. Yeah, yeah. All right. Whoever's making Mormon porno would not like it either, I don't think. I think they'd have an issue as well. There you go. We've been doing this too long. Just enough.

Just enough. Taking off my magic underwear. Don't get me hot. So Frank Whaley's got this theory right about like, oh, they could be extorting us for the money, I think. Yes. And you see this command center that they gave him, which Steve, you were totally right. He's basically just John Keval. or John Cusack and Conair.

Yes. The same sort of character here. This dude, he's getting fucking faxes sent to him on this plane. He's doing like the world's first cell phone. Like he borrowed Zach Morris's cell phone. It's like, hello, U.S. government, way down below there and miles away. Never once is there like a, what are you saying, Del Reyley? You're cutting out because I'm on a 1995 fucking cell phone.

There's a Biff Hard Apple kind of general guy that's like, oh, a nuclear warhead. Well, you could buy one of those in any former Soviet Republic. for the price of a BMW. Oh, that's... Australia's famous. That would have been an issue if that was true. Also, like, hey, Jeff, uh, weird fact to just sling out there, man.

Are we doing anything about that? Well, actually, that's the only place the Gremlin still wet is legal. Of course. Former Soviet Republic, so that's why I was there and I was doing a little window shopping. Like this, Kazakhstan. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

Fuck, yeah, dude. See, if Joe does, Dante directed this new gremlins would be called Silhouette. That's for goddamn sure. You think so? I'm going to Disneyify it. It can't be wet anymore. I know historians like to say they know why the Soviet Union fell,

but maybe we just dropped a bunch of gremlins in there. That's true. Joe Dante is famous for hornier. That's always the note. But yeah, so there's this fun little, you know, this Humvee chase scene where Chris Slitter who kills this dude and now him and Samantha Mathis are driving. Oh, my God.

The nukes? But, like, isn't there, like, this whole, like, sequence where he's, like, running and... The speed of the Jaguar! Thank God I got this ancient amulet! Holy shit, man. I almost left the house yesterday morning without wearing my talism. I'm so glad I brought it on the mission. What the fuck?

This driver has claw marks across its neck. What could have done this? Was a beast attacking the car? No, it was a man mystically from New Jersey. Trinton. New Jersey. With the wingspan of a fucking bald eagle man.

Well, that's the weirdest part. He jumps in and, like, he does this fire bomb to stop Travolta. And, like, it's using a gas can and a road flare. He throws it, and, like, it's really scary

because they have, like, bulletproof glass, you can't shoot through it. And Samantha Matthew Matthews, goes, wow, how did you learn that? I learned it in Trent, New Jersey. Did what in Trenton, elaborate. I know we're in the middle of this crazy chase. Our lives are on the line. Thousands of lives are on the line.

But what the fuck I was so good at setting people on fire. I got hired by the military. That's just what we do in Trenton, man. Huck gas at each other all day. I was working for the Sopranos for a while. I took out a few restaurants, if you know what I mean. That makes sense. It just sounds like, oh, my heart scrabble used. threw rockets at each other. That's right, man. The same wizard that gave me that talisman was also my gas can

guy. They're driving away. Bob Gunton is just complaining this whole time. Oh, my God. It's fair, because he's like, you have lost control of this situation. I know, but dude, it's not like he's the leader of this op. He's just the money guy.

Why would you let the money man come on the Mish? It's stupid. You should have killed that Jack Nicholson close. on the plane. And now he's beep-wop and scatting all over our fucking shit. Yeah, we're in cars now. There's two nukes in the back

of huge cars. Once you can't get those things onto a helicopter and safe to somewhere else, it's over, man. Once it bopping all the time. We're in cars now. Hey, Mater. I got a nuke in me. Hey, cool, my teeth are falling out. You ever fart so hard at

nuclear bomber? I think that's the opening line of his latest Amazon special. I watched it. It's... That at least two of us watched. You do? Of course I did. Better than you'd think. Oh, Jesus. Because I like bad stuff. Get out of here. I like bad comedy.

What was it? What was the title? Still wet. Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. Steve, I am, that is, I'm so disappointed. Just steal that from that man. They just called Larry the cable guy spilled again. Oh, no, my toe rig just fell off.

Yeah, I'm out of the shower. I'm still wet. Hey, cool, I just got kicked out of swimming in my neighbor's pool illegally. I'm still wet. I'm taking that water with me. Oh, Dan Whitney. Filling my pockets up with pool water.

I'm impressed that you got all the way through that, like, 65-minute thing. You wouldn't, listen, it's, it's, It's a breeze compared to the Bill Maher one. Oh, my God. I'm just saying I watch like 15 minutes of Larry, and I was like, I could be jerking off. Well, that's what I was doing.

Still wet, do you know? He's a silver fox these days. Check it out. Silver fox. Uh-huh. Interesting taste that, Eric Siska. Oh, the truck that they're in goes off a jump and so on. I don't remember if it was pre-er-re-re-re-old.

post gas tossing. But it's awesome because Samantha Mathis turns into Samantha Mathis' stunt double which looks exactly like Aerosmiths Stephen Tyler. It's just awesome. But you know what though? I'd rather have like that

and it's like kind of charming and whatever you know the person's actually doing it versus like you get some really cheap super in position now where like the head is this way but her fucking face is this way for some reason. They're like look you can see or it's actually her driving it now. give me the Stephen Tyler guy. That's still cool.

Or you got one of those weird drive masks of like a real person's face. Those things are unsettling. Those masks, those lifelike whatever that you can just buy for a Halloween costume? Yikes. That should be against the law. That's like a 30 day waiting period so you can look exactly

like Leslie Nielsen. I mean those things are, they are accurate looking those fucking masks. You're talking me into it. Don't you? Please don't give them any ideas. Check out Steve's Gremlin one. Will we get back to the hotel? I will.

Of course. I don't have it with me. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's too expensive to travel with. I keep it in my vault. I don't want TSA poking around in there. You're like, oh.

Lifelike gremlin mask, Cepat machine. One or the other. Only one in the stove away. No, it's worth it for the gremlin. It's worth it. And so, like, basically, they fuck off to this mine, which,

They spend about 55% of the movie in. It shouldn't call Broken Mine, honestly. Temple of Doom was in the mine last time. And that had a whole goddamn cart chase sequence in it. I rented this movie Broken Mime, and there's not even a sad clown in it. Poor Christmas Later, he sets off a nuke because he gets roped again because he thinks he's going to cancel it out by putting in the code three times. But nope, he arms it.

And then Samantha Mathis is like scared, help him pick up to pick up a nuke. Come on now. You'd be the first one out of that fucking mind. You would probably shoot yourself in the head right when you saw it. No, actually, I think getting

obliterated like right nose to nuke right there, that's a pretty cool. Oh, you'd be sitting right on it. Oh. Yeah. So you're trying to kill Slater and Mathis then so that you can have your day with destiny. Come on, guys.

Stop, it'll be painless. Just stop. It's just like it's three. I'm like right in front of it. I lick my lips and open my mouth like, like, you know, you're right up to and right, and then you're just like,

like you put your tongue right on. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Take my tongue first. Or just do you finger, like that Canadian curler that cheated. Oh, yeah. See, that's a joke I can do here.

Can't do that north of the border. They get salty as fuck about that. They might give us something. A rotten fucking cheater. I do love the idea that he's like, oh no, I know how to disarm the bomb. All I need to do is put in the code wrong three times. It's like your Bank of America password.

You'll get locked down. Oh, I'm getting a text. Hang on a second. Yes, I was trying to disarm the new three times. God damn it. I know I'm out of region. I know I'm not at my home. They froze the fucking keypad, Samantha Mathis.

We can't do anything now. until five to seven fucking business day. Mom, mom, go to my computer, okay? Go to the Bank of America website. I know. I know they, oh, they don't have a website. That's right. No, no, no, no, no.

Not Skank of America. No, no, no, no, mom, no. Get off my computer now. What is going on with all these gremlins? My God, you're filthy. I do, I mean, like, and it's a stupid, like, oh, he's the world's greatest genius because John Travolta knew

that Christian Slater, who should be dead by now in his plan would eventually do that. So he's like, yeah, but what if I did the absolute opposite? Uh-oh, oh, I already thought of that. Did you? Yeah, sure. Damn, you, talisman, there was no powers inside you

to let me know it been booby traps already. You were supposed to make me as wise as an owl, talisman. But instead, when I put the talisman on, I could just turn my head entirely around backwards. What use is that owl power? Who? is coming behind me.

Oh, fuck, I'm nocturnal now. I gotta go to sleep. Shit, this talism has got me all backwards. Why do I still need my glasses with this? Wait, why is he just sleeping right there? Wait a second. I got this impulse to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie rope. Tutsi pun.

One, two, three, man. That fucking cheat now. Yeah. Son of the bitch. Canadian, too? What's that? Was he a Canadian curler, too? Because this kid's asking about licks, you see.

There's two licks and a crunch. He bites it. You're not supposed to bite it. You're supposed to lick it. I know. Bastered. Complain about that commercial in 1982. A liar. I know. It's not as modern as the Radio Shack commercial.

That everyone knows. It's actually not. Those are from the mid-19. But which is more iconic is what I would argue. That's true. But yeah, him and Samantha, Trevold is on his way, the nukes are, and they start moving this nuke like a couch the two of them. And it's like hitting the wall.

I'm telling you, you got to pivot, God damn. Pivot the nuke, man. All right, we're going to have to take the door off and then put it on later. It's too wide to get to the elevator. I'm going to pull it all the way up. It's almost going to be vertical at this point. And then we're just going to trot it up here. Oh, you dropped it.

Fuck, was that dent there when we saw. Started. Oh, fuck. Oh, Christ, the super's here. No, we're allowed to move the nuke on Sundays. We're allowed. No, that scuff was there beforehand. No, that was your scuff. Yeah, the couch does have a gremlin print on. What's in any of your business? They go down into the mine, and this is when, you know, Travolta, like, really starts chewing the scene. He's got his first, like, Tett-a-Tet, but Slater there. We got that, and it's a convenient, like, 23 minutes or 30 minutes. or something like that. It's like,

motherfuckers, 60 seconds, man. I understand that we don't have a movie, but... We're at this big mine and whatnot. This is where a movie can end. It's amazing because he's like, it's 23 minutes and it's like deep,

deep going down and he's like, I'm kind of crazy. I'm going to make it 13 minutes. Like, it's a 10 minute difference. It's like, that sick son of a bitch just cut 10 minutes off. Son of a bit.

How does he sleep at night? I love, I love the fact that Travolta, as he's getting to this thing, he finds out Christian Slater is actually trying to do his job. It's like, shit, fuck, he's going to do it. Oh my God, he's going to try to stop me. I can't fucking believe it.

It's just not cool. It ain't cool at all. That's news to me. Yeah, so this is a fun little fight with the guy and the sun. He's not taking his own advice here, Mr. Travolta. There's machine gunfire widely around this nuke? Yeah. Could you not shoot

the nuclear war? He says that like 14 times. The first time it was fun, and then it just kind of diminished. Rules for me, or rules for thee, not for me. But does it matter? Like, the airplane guy, you say it could be on fire. Can you shoot it? Can you shoot it?

He's gone. He's in the back. What was the question? Can you shoot? God, keep up. Jesus. Fuck. I guess. Okay. All right, he says, I guess, we can shoot the nuke.

I don't believe it. I'm not going to shoot the nuke on I guess alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. I don't think it's worth it. I'm going to take that chance, man. We do, I think either, Slater's like, don't worry, this is a copper mine. It's going to seal all the radiation for some reason.

What he says is, when this thing goes off, this mine's going to turn into one big copper pot. Did he, what? Did he watch, like, the first episode of the hit. History Channel, like whatever the first day of programming on the history channel was. The history of copper. Here we go. They took restraint getting to Hitler on the second day. It used to be something, Eric.

Yeah, like this should be the Godzilla prequel movie because what they do in the desert cannot be undone. No. Well, you're already using the fucking Dewey theme song. Why don't you do eight-legged freaks? There's fucking spiders coming out. Yeah. Can you be helping?

Oh, yeah. Well, now I got a giant bat. Come on, Lou Diamond Phillips. Did bats. Oh, wow. Very nice. I got you, Eric. Don't worry, buddy.

Nobody here has seen bats. Someone clapped. Several. I think playing people see bats. Oh, so it just wasn't funny, I guess. That happens too. It's fine. They escape via water slide, which is good.

Yes, very fun. She's like, oh, yeah. I forgot. Beneath this mine's a secret river. And we're talking about bad music cues. I think it's a little weird for this to happen. Then he may either go to Goonies. I heard the agro crags down here somewhere.

Oh, shit, Mo, I'm going to climb the agro crag. Nickelodeon's guts. Yeah. It's a good one. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. If you're exactly our age, you know what that is. Euroguts or something? Euroguts? Is that a Jallo film? Yeah. The referee was muzzie.

The grossest mootzy, yeah. Let's go to Moe with the results. Bo! And it's just somebody with gloves choking someone. Yeah, this thing goes off and they wake up to giant butterflies just being nice and benevolent of them. Hi there, hi, hi, hi.

It's so bizarre. She's like freaking out, because she's like, oh my God, a nuke just went off. He's like, don't worry, there's butterflies. I guess it's fine. The talisman is telling me the butterflies couldn't fly if the nuke went off and it was radiation.

Sadly, the talisman does not let me fly like the butterflies, ma'am. You should probably go get yourself checked out by your general practitioner anyway. Just to be sure. Oh, yep, happening already. Boop, boom, boom. There you go, your teeth, girl. Boop, boom, boom. Boop, boom.

Yeah, your skull shouldn't be boiling like that. That doesn't seem like a good thing. Also, this movie has like no respect for this character being good at her job because they've just come out of a very cold river and she's like, oh my God, I'm shaking. It's because I'm scared and have radiation poisoning. And he's like, no, we were in a cold river.

The water's cold. She's like, no, that's not it. It's like, you're a park ranger. You know what happens when you spend a lot of time in cold water? Come, have some respect for this character. The only time she's a park ranger is he steps in mud and just like, oh, don't do that. That's like some geometric, some sort.

of formation over here and he's like, wow, I never heard of that. Endangered dirt. And I'm like, man, the 90s. So PC, the dirt has rights. Any more dirt you want me to watch out for? Oh, the woke media is going to come after me for stepping in dirt now. He also, though, says like, oh, I thought it was a landmine. Later in the movie, someone's got to step on it.

That would be neither. This fucking prehistoric dirt has to come back because otherwise you're cutting out details of like how this motherfucker put a helmet on before he ejected. Meanwhile, that factoid is left in that no one could care about ever remember. I don't know, hell, does... When you come out of cold water, you're supposed to taste

a cascade of blood coming out of your mouth? More than usual. Could I get a napkin, please? I do love the Meanwhile Travolta and his crew evading this like other another second helicopter is coming after them. These are like the nuclear

regulatory dudes or whatever. Who are dressed like astronauts. Yeah. It's pretty fun. Yeah. And the dude Bob Gunton keeps being like, you fuck this up, you fuck this up. And Travolta just chops him in the neck. And there's been some fair warning here. He's like, would you please

I'm trying to drive and look at you? Hush, hush. I want, honestly, when he goes, when he goes, that's should be his. That should be the scene, honestly. That's how it should happen? No, on the, oh, maybe.

Oh, I see. In memoriam, I'm saying. Oh, I thought you were like, when he knows it's a bad time, you know, like, honestly, that would work too. Maybe on like a fucking island where we're hunting humans for sport.

I would rather... I will say that's... It's the worst death in the movie in so far as I would rather get shot in the chest and fall into my own campfire than have some fucking Italian chop by throat. And then I have to like...

suffer for like nine minutes. Chop your throat with a maglight flashlight. Are you okay if it's a non-Italium? That's what I got to ask here. Either or it's just insult to injury. Yeah, I guess, I suppose. It's just weird because you barely heard this old bastard's windpipe brush,

and then it's just... Burr-na-na-na-na-ha-na-ha-ha-ha-ha. It's like, man, no hunk is coming over a ridge. Stop it. And he's got to go, oh man, that's the first guy I ever killed. Pretty cool. Oh, minus all the people that bombed into Gulf War, whatever. That doesn't count.

Yeah. Then you got Howie Long, who should have been dead minutes ago in this movie. It's just in the backseat having witnessed the flashlight assault? Like, you're the man, Trump was. Yeah, you're the man. That's right. And the man. Yeah, I am.

Let's get jazz. Let's do it. Let's do some cocaine. Let's go. See, it was a touchdown. The, the, the, The helicopter explodes because of an EMP. And now we're going on a boat with these new terrorists who are ill-defined.

Like, I don't know what they're supposed to. Like, is it part of the same team? Or are these the buyers? Like, the boat ride has to be the part of it, I guess. Yeah. We just drive to the train. I guess because it's a John Wu movie. But then again, there's no real, like, boat chase action.

No. No. You know, you're just to, like, like, separate the quota, right? Yes. In his, your contractor were, like, well, you have to have, like, a boat in it, right? and they were like, he didn't say boat chase. So it would be the slowest fucking boat ride in this movie. Well, you want to see the sights, you know,

how often do you get to the desert? You have a little dirt. I don't know how far they anticipate going in this little boat because there's like seven tanks of gasoline just stored alongside it. And this boat doesn't even have the courtesy to blow up in it. No. What are we doing?

It's disgusting. And my least favorite part is Samantha Mathis stows away in the boat. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, because she's like, oh, what are we going to do? Blow this boat up? And I was like, yeah, fuck, yeah. And Christian Slater's like, no, we're going to steal it. And then neither happened.

He's like, oh, man, the bad guys are coming. Get off the boat. And she's like, what? Hide under this blanket of the boat. She lit me in the water. Power of a barracuda. Wait, wait, power of a swordfish. Now I'm going to try to stab him with the snow.

Just hold on to my fin. We'll be safe in a couple of minutes. Put your mouth on my gills so you could breathe. Suck in my... I said gills, you sick bastards. I'm not like a wet gremlin. You can't do that. Power of sea otter.

I'm going to break Travolta open like a clam against my belly. Dude, I saw a video on Instagram of his seater doing that the other day. and that was like more exercise that guy got than I've gotten like 20 years. This little son of a bitch just rocked this thing open until he slurped it right down, just looked at the camera like, uh-huh. That's honestly, this nation would better if you had to crack open something to get a hamburger or a cheeseburger or like a piece or something. You have to like crack open a shell to get it.

Like they sell you like hamburgers and McDonald's out of pokey balls basically. God damn it. Power of McDilT. Get a hammer out. But so the boat doesn't, yeah, it just adds to anything. No, it's a train. The train is really the prize here. Well, we start cutting away a lot here. By the way, that other helicopter exploded, which I love watching.

Yeah. By the way, the biggest fucking hole in this whole thing, we are at the beginning, they say the message that Travolta gave to the military, you know, Hale lost it, the nukes are gone, and we don't see when they realize. that it's not Hale, it's Deacons, who's actually the villain of this. That would be a big moment. You at least want to see the military going after Hale for a little bit to be like, he's the one who did it, but nothing.

You get nothing. That doesn't have any grenades in it, though. Oh, that's, you know what? There's like zero grenades. You got it right there. Can we get grenades in the scene? If Dale Ritalin does just like, oh, man, it actually turns out Travolta's the bad guy, and here's why.

Anyway. He's in on it. That would be great. I'd love that. It's better. But yeah, so, like, this is... Christian Slater meets up with the military. Again, scenes totally deleted,

and he's just like, now I'm with you guys. So hardcore deleted and confusing that when they, like, I think they, like, announced to Delroy Lindo that he's there or something. They're like, we have the prisoner. And I was like, you know he's not the bad guy already. Keep up with your own dumb movie.

Look, technically, we have to call him a prisoner, okay? Or, you know, we don't get the... We don't get to snag, you know. We don't get the credit. General, we saw this man running 45 miles an hour. Yeah, power of the cheetah. You didn't see it coming. Sir, and then he jumped out of a boat and was underwater for 12 minutes.

Yeah, that's right. Baracuda, motherfucker. Wish he did some weapons research on my cool talismet. He did five miles in 30 seconds. We couldn't catch that. They have a big conversation about, like, oh, he's going to, they thought he's going to, They thought he was going to go to Salt Lake City, but he's going to go to Denver instead.

Ropa dope. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what Christian Slitter explains to Delroy Lindo, what a roper dope is. And he's just like, yeah, man, I remember Muhammad Ali. Thank you for explaining that to me. I don't know if you heard of it.

It's a famous fight called the Rumble in the Jungle, man. Is that George Farmer you're talking about? Okay. No, no, no, no, that's good to hear. That's good to hear. Aropodop, that's good to hear. God, this fucking guy. This fucking guy, man.

All right, let's go. And his whole thing, right, is like, Kristen Slater's convinced now that we're not actually going to Salt Lake City. We're going to go to Denver. Because, again, it's another rope-a-dope where he found the idea of someone that works at the radiology department in a Salt Lake City hospital. Is everyone asleep yet? Yep.

And it's like, oh, man, if, you know, the nuke goes off, that's bad in a major city. But Samantha Mathis also is in trouble. So we have to, he's like, the military never kills people, man. We took an oath to protect everyone, man. Lebanese wedding or otherwise. Doubtful. And then, like, Delaware knows, like, well, you know what orders are,

because I'm about to break everyone. I'm like, that's fun. And Frank Whaley's like, I'll be out of the movie now. Yeah, yeah, thank you. I'm going to take this back door out of the movie. His final line-ish is something about, like, well, I know I'm not as tough as you guys, But I was a lieutenant in the ROTC at Yale.

And they're like, oh, fantastic. Good job, lieutenant. God, this fucking guy. There needs to be, like, at the end, like a helicopter comes in Frank Whaley's flight. Like, you guys need a lift? Like, one of those. Yeah.

Totally. To the rescue. Oh, that's classic Frank Whaley. You did it. Man, that's pretty impressive. save the day without a talisman and everything. This guy should be the head of the military. Whatever is above lieutenant. He should

definitely be that. It's a lot of things above lieutenant. The most direct one. Direct one? Oh, direct one. Either. I'm a little deaf of this year. I'm sorry. And so now we're on top of this moving train and we're about to hold everybody hostage and Samantha Mathis is there. And you do see on top of this plane, they unsheatheat it.

it's one more helicopter I know it's in there if you fucking paid me you're like waiting for the reveal like no it's not it can't no they wouldn't it's impossible they surely can't kill another one of us

this one's not going to be set on fire I know it yeah it's like celebrities helicopters go down in threes in this movie that's true yeah it is smile boys we're about to retire sure

Oh, and you said this earlier. It's the biggest sin of the movie is and Kerman Smith's last scene is there's this like, it's the your classic terrorist, what do you call it there? Threat video. And we cut in the middle of it. He's in the middle of it. He's just like, and then the

West Coast will be destroyed. I'm like, no, no, no. I need the whole damn thing. It cuts off the part where he's like, here's why I'm doing. Yeah. Here's why the movie exists. And we're like, they won't give a shit about that. But he took time into editing footage of nuclear tests

to remind the government what a nuke is. That's awesome, dude. And you know it wasn't him doing it, like, you know, someone's cousin's kid to come over. Oh, of course. You like the tape-to-ta-tape editing. I don't know. I think the explosion

should be a little later. Part of a ball game is in there because they taped over. Coming up after the ball game. Don't worry, my sister's kid just graduated college. She knows how to do it. Wait a second.

Keep playing the tape. We might be able to understand his psychological profile. What the hell is Grimlins 3? Oh, they're still wet, and they're so, so wet. That piece of shit boss of mine wouldn't let me smoke in the office.

It drove me crazy every day. Oh, my God. Look at the tracking errors. This guy's a sick fuck. He rewound this a ton of times. All right, let's fast forward a little bit. Fast forward for the movie. This is we got any else here.

Married with children. This tape is children. Totally unhelp. WX-11. But so, like, he, for some reason, for... He's got this weird super gun that's got, like, four different notches on it. And he's like, now being weirdly sexual

with Samantha Mathis of, like, now you put in the code for the nuclear weapon. Yeah, here's my metallic. It's my gun, but it's kind of like a dick. Get pushing. Get pushing. Seven. Get pushing.

Four. She's pretty cool. She, ain't it, coo, she wisely is like, I'm not going to, like, be responsible for hundreds of millions of debts if you're going to just shoot me in the head anyway. Yeah. So she presses cancel, you know. I do, yeah, it is kind of like a phone, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. End call.

Yeah. She's also, I think, done battle with the dude from Iron Man that helps Tony Stark. Yes. Yes. From scraps. This guy is amazing, because he's got no lines. He's got, like, two lines. He's like, ah, I will drive the boat when we.

have the missile. And then Samantha Mathis... That's the delivery too, pretty much. Exactly that. And Samantha Mathis is like about to do like evil or you know, save the day. And he's like, ha, you must have thought I was some nerd.

And I'm like... What? But I'm actually a Navy SEAL. That's why I was driving the boat. Because yeah, he's kind of like, beep boop boop and she tries to like get one over on them. And he's got like awesome Liam Neeson skills or something. And he says specifically though computer nerd.

Yes. And you know this guy's just acting out. some fucking high school revenge. You know, on the boat, those fuckers were going hard with the four eyes. And he just had enough of it. Finally, somebody had to take it. I'm not a nerd. Okay.

So no one said it who were. All right, dude, just fucking activate your nuke and stuff. Bitching. They kept that saying I was only good for math. And then what's crazy is so she had, before she gets, like, rocked by him and he says that line, she tries to come at him with a hammer. And he kind of knocks the hammer out of the way, and then

pushes her whoops back towards the hammer, you see. And then he's about to, like, shoot her to death. And she hucks this thing and kills this dude. With, like, if you had, like, sometimes you get those, like, multi-piece tool sets, you know, and it's like, here's all these different kind of

ball peen hammers. It's the tiniest little one. And it knocks this dude out. And I was like, you know what? You were just a computer nerd. Yeah. Because if you were a bad ombre, you'd fucking wake right up from there. It's not even the claw. It's not even the thing that would pierce it into...

It was the Fisher Price, ball peen hammer. Boop. Well, she said before, strength of gorilla and threw it. Oh, I see. Yeah. Why does everything go tits up and like... Well, Travolta gets shot in the arm at one point. Yes, it's very important in, you too.

Yeah, because Deloerellino comes in yet another helicopter. Dude. They're just asking for it. Yes. Ooh, that helicopter is asking for it. Well, because Travolta cannot help himself but get the theatrical. So Mathis does, says no.

He's about to push her out of the fucking train. And it opens, and also Christian Slater power kicks fucking Howie Long out the damn train the other way. I love that. So awesome. It's beautiful. That long? Like, ah!

And you realize, like, you know, I'm watching it. I was like, I was actually wrong the whole time. Because I'm sitting here complaining. like, why isn't he in less of the movie? Because if he didn't get to that train trestle going over that canyon, we would have lost the best, most hilarious death in the movie. The second best scream in

all of cinema history. Phil Helm? Howie Law. Yeah, I think that's true. In that order specifically. Let's see that happened to Terry Bradshaw, just once. Just once. He played a villain, you think? Yeah, you know, him is a big-headed villain.

No, he doesn't. No, he does those, like, dumb-ass comedies and whatnot. Like, he played it. Grown-ups. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there was another one. There was, like, it was a Christmas thing, like, who's my dad or some shit?

He's been... Failure to launch as well. We're getting a failure to launch, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there was a Walberg thing, though. Wasn't he a Walberg movie? Oh, wait, are you talking about other figures? Yes, I am. Whoa.

Were you on that, stealth guy? It's not his job to help us. Yes. Stealth movies. There's four of us up here. There's four of us up here. It's plenty. That's plenty. All right. I'm just saying.

I got you. You're fine. You're doing a great job. You guys know a lot about stealth bombers and fucking, you know, movies with ex-football players in them. It's possible, sure. We just think you're very smart, sir. Thank you. I've actually never heard a father figure, so I guess it was a stealth bomb.

Ooh. Oh, good, everybody. Oh, boy. Oh, Stephen. Ooh, this man. But no. Very, very pointed. It's really important.

John Travolta is shot in the arm. This character is shot in the arm at this moment. Poor guy. Poor guy. And then Harry Long eats shit. And then, like... Oh, wait, we almost forgot some stuff, though. What's that?

Let's give these boys a haircut. Oh, that's going to start doing helicopter foo now in this movie? The only thing I like more than people being killed in a helicopter is a helicopter killing people. That's great. The helicopter fights back. I love it. This is for my own fucking face. that's been wiped out this movie. God damn it.

They cut this guy in the chest. He flies off. It's great. I know he should be cut in half, but it's still nice. Shum in the desert with chunks of this dude. Oh, yeah. It rocks. He had like three days to live. He was like six miles away from a nuclear explosion anyway. So I'd rather take the rotor. Would you really?

You know that that's coming your way, though, dude. To know you're getting rotored by a helicopter. Also, it's a lot of noise for when I'm dying. You know what I mean? Helicopter's loud. Yeah, you can't have. like a peaceful thought of a good memory when you get shocked by a fucking

It's just like, God, my fucking ears oh wait, my guts all the images start rushing by it's all helicopter shots oh wait, my guts oh my god I like that my Euro guts

it would be cool if there was like a dastardly European with them, right? Let's go to Mo with the leaderboard and they're Samantha Mathis is on top of the train, like, killing people for fun. It's kind of cool. She's, like, doing stuff.

She gets into, like, a one-on-one with this conductor who you don't know is crooked when it starts going. And this guy with, like, a real deer, like, hoo-hoo, fucking conductor hat on. He's like, what's going on out there? Oh, wait, a woman, sniper rifle out the window. And I was like, that guy's in on it.

Yeah, of course. I bet you thought I was a nerd. No, I didn't. Who are you? You thought I always talk like an old tiny prospect. Well, I do, and it's time to die. I know about trains and guns. Thank you very much.

Yeah, that's her, like, big underboss is that dude. That's kind of... But meanwhile, now it's Slater v. Travolta. What we all were waiting for, we set up in the beginning in this boxing match. And he takes his jacket... Travolta takes his jacket off. You're going to have to beat me in boxing

because that's what a screenplay is. they both throw their guns on the ground like boxing yeah boxing yeah yeah and like he's like all right I wasn't just shot in the arm five fucking minutes ago I'm sorry I'm sorry but it really bothered it's worse not do the air but here's where the call you're crazy yeah ain't it cool yes it sure is Harry Mills rose for primordial goop and he's like Why, yes, it is. It starts floating around the room. The set photos we will write around.

Yes, floating around the room like Baron Harkonen. Oh, no way. I am editing your piece right now, and then I will go back to my oil bath. Thank you. No way. Yes, they want me in the faculty. I will sit normally for that.

You get a hymn-free cut of that movie? It's just one. See, you really just. fast forward by, it's fine. You know, I say the same thing about Home Alone, too. It doesn't make it anything better. That's him

telling a little child where to go in a hotel, folks, all right? Yeah, he's done that before. Am I right, folks? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm going to need you to go to the presidential suite. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, someone, Chivald has been like, all right, here's the deal. If you want to launch it, you just press launch. If you want to cancel it, you just press cancel. So then later on, when Christian Slater gets this, minutes after hearing this, he's like,

Burr, er, eh, he's doing a number code. I was like, the terrorist just told you how to turn it off. It's not a phone. Don't dial a number. It says cancel right there. Hello, Mom. Hold on, I'll fix this. Speak to a representative.

Oh, no, they're not. Speak to a ramp, they always do this. What, it's a trap prison, zero. But they box, it's stupid, because they're so stupid. Not great. At least do us the dignity of having the makeup where there's still a bullet hole,

and you can then argue, like, well, he's just pushing through it, you know? Because as he's about to be killed, you know, everything's gone tits up. Why not? But this, it's just nothing. It's just him with that fucking faux turtle neck. that he's wearing in this movie.

Yeah, and I watch Bruce Lee movies, and he never expected me to do a bad shitty kick on you. Pau-paw! Actually, power of a kangaroo, cacao. Oh, no, he had a talism in the whole time. Oh, my God, he has a pouch, too. Oh, disgusting. Oh, yeah.

That's where Samantha Mathis comes out. It's Samantha Mathis and a Maguire. They're like my little joey's. Gross. But he, the, Trevolta's death is pretty fantastic here. Oh my God. So good.

The funniest fucking things. I mean, take that Jim Carrey. This is one of the funniest things of the 90s right here. Because this train, like, it kind of gets like booped by like another part of the train that's on fire behind him. Sure.

And it launches it, not like actually launches, it just sort of like, you know, by physics, pushes this thing. And it just cuts to this dummy. Oh. That you, I mean, again, the editing in this movie, it needs to be so much more of a split second. Yeah.

And the editor, like, totally missed it. It's just this. Yeah, it's so good. Look in the jankiest wax museum you've ever seen in your life. And this is John Travolta. He also stands up fully, like, tenses his stomach, thinking, like, well, Cooudini couldn't figure this out, but maybe I can.

He should have just been in that, Bisi boys like, he just goes, robot dope! Well, he does do a sinister smile before he gets absolutely annihilated by a new. That's how you know he's totally crazy. He's ready to go to hell right now. He welcomes a meeting with the devil.

Ain't it cool? It's got to be so dissatisfying, though. A nuke is coming after. You're like, here comes the explosion, and it just doesn't go off. It's like getting beaten to death by a gun. It's like, ah, yeah. This is just less fun.

Totally. You're right. It is less fun. It's significantly less fun. I couldn't just waste the bullet on me, really. I would have paid for it. It's quicker. It's easier.

It's goopier. All the good things. But this puppet blows up. And here is significant explosion 15. The most significant of all the explosions. It's beautiful. It's great and it's real. And this set just goes up in flames.

It's spectacular. Major points off because Delroy Lindo dies for no reason. I'm like, come on. Dude, and it's a, it's a, super indignity when talking about this, his fucking chest is exploded by someone's sniper rifle. And then the helicopter that he's riding and smashes into a hill.

It's like Hedgeman number seven that kills him. It should be at least be how he's fucking long. Yeah, you would hope. Yeah, just an anonymous dude maybe or maybe not named Robinson. I think like there's a Robinson floating around. I'm not sure. There's usually it.

I remember, like, Travolta, but hey, Robinson. Anybody care for a Coke? So he's dead. Oh, but the cool thing is Christian Slater gets that $20. He does. It's a little toasty. It got a little toasty. The nuke as well has been given a little of a char all around it.

Which is fine, you know. Yeah, it's fine. And he looks at it, I don't need this. Like, of course I would keep that. Like, yeah. I just choose my boss at combat. This is his $20 that just also lit up fire. It's a trophy of your kill.

Put it up like a bar does on your wall. You fulfilled every working person's dream of slaughtering boss in combat. When you open that bar or pizzeria or whatever, that's our first 20 right there from when I killed my shitty boss, thus giving me the opportunity to open this pizzeria. You put it in the family memorabilia. When Samantha Mathis and you inevitably marry and the kids start coming, you've got a story right there that's just going to inspire them every single day.

I made it so that a nuke gutted my boss essentially more or less and then set him on fire. Tell us again how you and mom met. Well, let me take the bill out, okay. And this is also the story as to why you have three heads. It's because when your mother and I met a nuclear bomb went off like four inches and we swam around in the water

and I swallowed some of it. Dad, is that why my teeth? never came in. That's why they relocated us to Tromaville. Slater's Pizzeria, home of the nuclear pie. Yeah, it's burnt. Now you kids go to bed. I have my standing guard game with the toxic adventure.

Read him and weep, Toxy. You too, Tromio. Oh, yes. Can't forget Tromio. I guess. But yeah, that's pretty much, yeah. That's it. That's a movie. They don't kiss.

They do not kiss. They don't kiss. They don't of that. Don't you worry about that now. Little hand holding. I don't mean it's about nothing. A little hand holding, that's it. Yeah, there's no, you know, you figure something like this is a six months later situation.

Anything. Not a credit. It's, bum, bam, boom, bam. But yes, that is indeed the film broken error, everybody. That's the other. Thank you folks. I want to thank you all for coming out. It's very cool.

For a long time since we've been to Los Angeles. We love y'all for coming out. By the way, make sure we're tipping appropriately here, of course. Please. It's shit city out there, man. Absolutely. Be cool to the servers and whatnot. Major thanks to the Hollywood Improv.

One of the best rooms in the country, man. Best staff. We always love playing here. Thank you, guys. Thank you. So like we enjoy doing at the end of every live show, Have you never seen us live before. We like to take a minute and reflect on some of the writing that's gone on about the movies

we're discussing over the years. And one of the best places to do that to find the most intellectual grounded film writing on the internet is the internet movie database user review section. So we got a few for you here, just sort of, you know, like dig into the mind of the American psyche and see what's up. So the first one, of course, 10 out of 10 stars. Yes. Subject line.

Wow! Wait, how many O's in the wow? At least five? Oh, well, that's a wow. That's what Howie Long should have said when he fell off the bridge. I'm going to tell you this, Steve, there's more exclamation points.

Well, you need those. I lost a comment. There's a lot. Anyway, here we go. Written by Batman Returns 5636. Steve, is this your review? It's not. But the man has taste.

Yes. July the 25th, 2016. Wow. What a brilliant action movie this is. John Travolta is a bad guy. It's just priceless. The movie got me gripped right from the start, and I couldn't take my eyes off the TV.

Take is all capitalized. Yeah. Couldn't take my eyes off the TV. Ain't it sound right. Although not much of a fan of Slater, this was one hell of a ride. Eat shit, Christian. Yeah, come on now.

Travolta's acting is just brilliant and the ending is even better just because of one facial expression Travolta does. That's got to be the... The smile, that's got to be the smile. Or maybe he thought the dummy was Travolta. The expression on the dummies really made the movie for this guy?

I don't know. Don't believe me, watch it. Must see for John Travolta fans and must see for any action movie fans. Okay. Although not much of a fan for Slater. Whoa. Motherfucker comes in again. Yeah.

At the last second. He pulls that shit in reverse one more time, Slater. By the power of dog, I'm going to eat shit. It's a 10 out of 10 ranking. What happens when you like the other actor? You don't want to know. Then we got a broken arrow on our hands. Brilliant film and brilliant story.

If for no other reason, the excitement on John Trafal's face when he says, I said, God damn, what a rush. That is a good moment. That is a good moment. It was better when Uma Thurman did it in Pulp Fiction. Overall, 10 out of 10 for this brilliant movie. Okay, good. Okay, here we go.

We got another 10 out of 10 stars. I think of more to go. 10 stars. Fair warning, colon. Don't associate with anyone who hates this movie. All right. What the fuck? Written by Balls in Your Court, December 2nd, 2018.

What? Wait, no, sorry. Basil court. Okay. That makes so much more sense. What's your username? I don't know, Balls in Your Court. You tell me?

All right. December 2nd, 2018. This is one entertaining flick from start to finish. Flick. The action is fluid and engaging. Ooh. Sounds a little wet. It does.

The plot is completely logical within its own constructs. Within its own constructs, okay? Its own constructs, not ours. Their universe. The cinematography is gorgeous. The dialogue is spot on, and the acting is simply wonderful.

Okay. For those who don't get it. What? Who don't appreciate Travolta's tour to force, or who take issue with the realism of the plot, or who find whose direction too violent or one-dimensional, these are the kinds of people you do not want to get dragged into conversations with at a business conference or a cocktail party.

Man, this guy had a bad day at work after seeing Broken Arrow. But if you're at church and someone is like Broken Arrow sucks, welcome them in. Please. Forgiveness. In fact, a good barometer to gauge

whether they are worth your time is to ask them, have you ever seen Broken Arrow with John Travolta? If they say, yes, and their faces

light up and they mention some element of the film they really like. Then you know you found an interesting person

with whom to converse. Oh, put this on, by the way, any singles here, put this in your dating profile.

Build a prison or hospital just for this person. They gotta be put away. But if they say, yes, I hated it, then quickly excuse yourself and avoid them for the rest of the meeting or party. Fair warning. Meeting.

What's this coming up in a meeting? Hi, this is Tanya from HR. I heard you, left the staff meeting today because you threatened your boss by asking you about broken arrow and he said he hadn't seen it and you left?

Ain't it cool? I said would anybody care for a Coke and no one got the fucking reference. That's too bad. All right, two more here. Now we go to the other side. One out of ten stars, subject line, worst movie ever.

Oh dude, I would walk out of that fucking meaning. That would not be working for me. This job. Fuck this company. Fuck this company. Fuck you. All right. Now, Chris can confirm that I'm reading this one correctly.

Username Joe Asmus. Yes. J-O-E ASS-M-U-S. Joe Asmus. Is that in December 2? It's actually

two months earlier. I think Chris 5th, 2019. In contention for the worst film, worst film all capitalized, ever made. As it was said in another review, and now this is, I don't know, I love this. This is why you really got to just fucking watch it with doing drugs and then posting shit on the internet

because sometimes if you're like hating on a lot of stuff at once you're getting wires crossed and then some dude years later is reading in front of a crowd. So I'll do the whole thing over now that you have that warning. In contention for the worst film ever made. As it was said in another review, Nikki Glazer is just another Hollywood wannabe. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

Was she watching the Tom Brady roast? He's just getting his shitty opinions cross? Soon enough, we will have a breathalyzer that is on your computer. So that you have to blow into it first before you use it. I'm sorry, Dave. You're too fucked up to post that hate that.

You've tried this 20 times today. I can't believe Nikki Glazer broken arrow. Wings up the next morning. Hungover, mailed it. Total sense. All right, here we go. One more, and then we've got to close

after the evening, unfortunately. One out of ten stars, subject line, unwatchable. By Sopranos 69-707. Whoa. Okay. Okay. Now you've got to take into account

the date on this one. This is why we always read the dates. You've got one to know where in history this is coming from. This is July the 13th, 2020. We are in the midst of Lockdown. All packed in.

Yeah, but I'm just thinking about James Gandalfini 69ing now. Yeah, come on, Carm. Just once. Just get the fuck up here. Mr. Once on my birthday, thank you very much. I think that's part of Gremlin's three.

It says some pulp. Some. There you go, Steve. Deep Cut and Gross Cuts. Yes. It's good now. Deep and gross,

the Steve Saneck story. All right, here we go. Here we go, everybody. Some movies will never be like a good, fine wine.

This movie tastes old, looks old, but is tasteless and completely unwatchable. Tastes old? You know, you don't like your VHS

name? No, I don't, I didn't, I didn't, no. I never did that one. Oh, yeah, I bet. That's disgusting.

Why does he do that? Mr. Once on my birthday. In 2020. You taste old, come. All right. All right. No, seriously, no. Seriously, no.

It's written by Sopranos 69707, all right? Yeah, let's... Hell of a writer. Show them some respect, yes. Jay Travolta... That O.H.N. was just too much fucking work. No.

Jay Trowlta is like a car. cartoon character. Yeah. But he then had white teeth. Okay? I'm just reading... Again. I didn't tell you

was going to make sense. I'm not usually for these things, but a breathalyzer on the computer would really help these situations. We would have less of a clogging situation on the IMDB. I'm sorry, Dave. You'll lose your job for that one.

Well, you man, I can't check my work email today. Come on. I was just having some fun on the message board. Come on. All right. But you then had white teeth. Forget about it. No.

Should say Al Pacino or Robert De Niro. We've been WeAin movies for New York City, everybody. Thank you. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time. Fuck Ice. Bye-bye.

Goodbye.