We Hate Movies - S16: The Nexus #119: Star Trek TNG's "Sub Rosa" (Live at the Oxford Comedy Festival)

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

Originally recorded 20 July, 2025 in Oxford, England, UKOn this very special surprise episode, we're opening up the WHM Vault to release another recording from last year's residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival. For that show, we covered the infamous Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "Sub Rosa," where, yes, Dr. Crusher repeatedly has sex with a ghost (kind of)! We've also got the Enterprise using the transporter to dig up a coffin, a haunted candle, a colony on a planet that modeled itself after Scotland, Picard being bored at a funeral, and so much more! Come hang out in Vegas with us this summer as we do a three-night stand at ST:LV to celebrate 60 years of Star Trek and 10 years of The Nexus! We’ll be at the convention Thursday, Friday and Saturday night doing three Nexus shows on Wrath of Kahn, Generations, and First Contact! Best part is, you don’t need to have a convention pass to attend, each show is ticketed separately. Click through to snag your tix now!The Nexus is a WHM podcast where the guys futilely go through two Star Trek series at the same time. Sign up for our Patreon to access an entire library of Nexus episodes, along with countless hours of exclusive content! Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!Cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Oh, what is this, Mr. Data? A surprise episode of the Nexus. Yes, it is. Can you believe it? Look at this. It is a live episode we recorded last summer in Oxford, England, UK. And we want to release it now to let you have a little taste. And maybe you'll come to our next series of live nexus.

We are doing three episodes live of the Nexus in Las Vegas, Nevada. Thursday, August 6th, we will be talking Star Trek to the wrath of con. Friday, August 7th, we'll be talking about Star Trek Generations and Saturday, August 8th. We'll be talking about Star Trek first contact in Las Vegas at the Rio while the Star Trek convention is going on. STLV, they are celebrating 60 years of Star Trek, and they invited us because we are celebrating this August, 10 years of doing the Nexus that Star Trek side. show you love so much. So please come on out. You do not need to be going to the Star Trek convention to come to these shows.

They are separately ticketed. So come on out. You got no excuse now. Tickets are going fast. Star Trek 2, Rath of Khan, meet and greet tickets are already gone. All these meet and greet tickets are going fast. So if you want to meet us and chat us up, come on out. Get those ticks.

WHM podcast.com slash tour. And I'll see you there. What's it all about? Classical music, Jim. Beautiful, rapping. Like a scientist. Sorry. Oxford, what is happening?

I'm going to change it up a little bit here for this early evening show, and we're going to step into the Nexus. That's right. This is the first ever live edition of our Star Trek Recap show, and boy, did we pick a perverted one for you all. Welcome to tonight's discussion. of Beverly Crusher in the case of the horny candle. Way better title, by the way.

What if the Canterville Ghost was horny? Was it not? I don't know. No? Oh, it's horny. They're merging. You know what that means, folks? You guys merged before I bet.

It's okay if you haven't, you'll get there. Trekkies in the audience? A lot of Trekkies. All right. Just checking. Trekkers by any chance. Now, they all died off long ago. Yeah.

They were put into resettlement camps. It was very dead comfortable. Yeah, this is Sub-Rosa. It is season 7, episode 14. Original air date, January the 31st, 1994, written by Brandon Bragon, directed by you-guessed at number one himself, Jonathan Frakes, which is why he's barely in this episode. If I was directing this episode, I'm like, yeah, I'm good.

No, I'd rather be behind the camera. I don't need to act in any of it. He's got an erection. He can't step out in front of everyone. I would at least get another name in there, you know. John Boyd. Oh, yeah. Oh, like, you would not go by your real name as the directorial credit.

No, no, no. Let somebody else take this one. Alan Smithy. Yeah, a Smithy name. Well, if I wrote this one, I'd use a different name because so the grandma in the show is, what's it, Felicia? Yeah. Felisa, yeah. Felisa, that's what it is.

That was Brandon Bragga's actual dead grandma. No. What a fitting tribute. Was she fucking at 100? I don't know. She's got to be dead, but even still. Because you don't want to be like, oh, Nana, you want to watch this week's episode. You'll find a nice Easter egg.

It's my present to you. Your grave. Your tombstone, sweetheart. Because like this episode, you know, it is what it is. Like, clearly the two of the more underwritten characters in the show are the two female leads, Troy and Crusher. And you know, like, someone in the writer's room was like, it's seventh season, we haven't done one in a while,

we really need a crusher episode. Really put gates in the center of something. And she's like, finally. And then, like, she got the script. She's like, pardon me? I was hoping more like a medical disaster, like a plague I could solve. Exactly. Only I can get to the bottom of this, like,

vaccine we need to produce and the planet's going to die. Oh, what's on being eaten out by a ghost? Well, don't worry. Well, I guess that's kind of the same. There's something for the ladies. There's some gossip. There is quite a bit.

There's a 30-year-old who's got a widow's peak that's 48, 49. We start at the funeral, Felice's funeral, right? Oh, yeah. Are there any other funerals in this episode? Not that I noticed. Has anyone ever attended their co-workers' grandmother's funeral? It is a real. The ship's parked outside anyway.

I might as well go down and see what it's all about. I guess. I mean, look, if you were just a lower-dex member, you're like, where the fuck are we? What? Why did we pull over? I was so excited. Shortly was coming up. I was going to see my parents.

Listen, I have been in the dog house, okay? You've got to do this for me. Deanna, Wolf, please, just come to the funeral. You all know I play favorites, right? My father died and we zoomed right past Klingon. I remember very clearly. I had to do a vacation on Kronos. Have you felt the heel?

Well, that dude was totally disgraced. Oh, that's right. You're not going to go to that traitor's funeral. But yeah, I feel the thing was like, oh, Beverly, come in, yes. Oh, hello. You want me to what? I suppose I'll go to your grandmother's funeral. Yes, I'd be honored.

Oh, did I do the air quotes out loud? I'll tell them who Wesley's father is. Don't test me. Just do it, John Luke. All right, so we started with a good question, yes. Have you ever gone to your grandmother's, your co-workers' grandmother's funeral? Have you ever been aroused at your grandmother's funeral? Anybody else in the audience?

I've never seen anything like this, dude. This guy walks by, he just casually tosses the flower on the coffin, you know, and then she's like, what on earth was that? You know, there's a chance you're related to that guy. It's a 50-50. It's this, like, tiny space scotch colony we're doing here. She does like a z-Z-top turn, like, wait a second. To be fair, he's very tall.

Sure. And as I understand it, that is. very, you know. What the fuck's that supposed to mean? You know, I do. Do I have to say it again? Nana dying was the best thing to happen to her, right? Because she gets this sexual awakening. Something Jean-Luc could never awaken. That's true. Jean-Luc also can't get awake at this funeral scene. So this is season seven of this show. Everyone's got senioritis. And I don't know if there was a clip of him here, but Patrick Stewart looks so bored at this funeral. And I'm sorry, you got to put on a brave face. You can't be looking bored at a funeral. If you saw this script, you're like, all, I've got six scenes.

I can get through them all. What's that three of them are about a 104-year-old woman having intercourse? I want to keep the vigorous libido, so don't worry about that. But everything else is just trash, man. You just have to get through the libido line, and then you get out of this Burbank studio, you go play tennis, it'll be fine. Jonathan, can we do all mine on Monday? Just move it to Monday.

It's got a real hankering for a long weekend, man. looking to check out. Yeah, I do not need to be in my trailer for the gossip scenes. Thank you. Or whatever the fuck's Spiner and Jordy need to do, whatever that is. Spina and Burton. Thank you. There you.

Froes on stage. They have to work for Governor Dogman. This is the biggest scam. God, damn it. Because we're in Space Scotland, which makes a ton of sense that you would move. The law is not the law. It's incredible that they move all. They say that this colony for some reason moved.

All the cornerstones of the buildings are from Edinburgh, Aberdeen, and Glasgow and all what have you. Yeah. Yeah. So that's something. They totally termined the whole place. It's just debris on earth to make way for this colony. But then they have this guy who's like the mayor of this place with a governor. and he's some gleeplop-looking thing

he's got four nostrils on his nose or whatever and he's just this weird like Scotchophile and also the idea that like we're gonna we love Scotland so much we're gonna ignore any in all history after like 1805 that's fucking 2,200 whatever they don't even lock their doors you cut out the bad years

yeah I got you yeah that was the last time it was good yeah okay uh yeah so like the funeral lens she is like intrigued by this big sexy dude. And there's a way to do this right. The ghost in Mrs. Muir is a really good movie. And that's because the ghost is charming

and is like showing up to like leave some of her loneliness. This guy being an evil ghost rapist. Yeah. Not so great. Who's got a special kink? He wants to fuck everyone of a family line. Yeah. Hundreds of years he's been.

So you're not only sleeping with your great. grandmother's sexual partner, your great-grandmothers, your great-great-grandmother. This ghost has something. I'm sorry. He's got to have something at this point. And he's also got a vertigo-esque, like, visual kickling. You got to have green eyes. Oh, oh, you've got to have green eyes. Oh, Mary, get those, get that red hair long and dangly. Could you look more like your grandmother for me? Oh, knit a doily. Oh, my goodness. Put out a shell and I'll fuck you. Got some more wrinkles and crows feet all over that face.

I had only banged grannies. Why did you build a bell tower in Scotland? Do you know that he's a granny shagger, right? He's an absolute granny shagger. Have you folks seen this show? Steven Sadek put me hip. He hipped me to this show, right? Yes.

It's a show about people in Britain. Age gap lovers. Yes, age gap lovers. Does you ever see this? It's about... I thought it was as big as Seinfeld over here. That's what I was led to believe. You mean the show?

the short live show that we watched like clips of on YouTube at 3 o'clock in the morning at a bungalow in Austin 10 years ago I mean I just think it's part of you know the menagerie at this point Steven because you were telling me the other night there's a completely naked dating show yes Andrew watches as well oh yeah it's called like bits and bobs or something yeah like the contestant is like you start with the feet and then it's like yeah those are gross hit the skins and then it goes up

and we're talking like full everything man full on but the part that's weird is and maybe you know there's an answer from someone in the audience why does the contestant at the end of the show also get naked what the fuck doesn't matter at that point? Just so everyone leaves humiliating

unless their job prospects are lower after being on the show no honey I'm staying late tonight yeah tonight too no the foot fetish factory it doesn't close it just it never closed is that they're in Britain now. We're going over the TV.

They have some of the most gross shit I've ever seen. And they call it feet, but there's more of a claw going on here. And I think I got to leave, buddy. I think I got to quit. This dude needs a career change. This poor character we've created. The way you imagine the foot fetish warehouse, it's like the end scene in Miracle on 34th.

She was like, 2,000 letters to Santa Claus. But it's actually just pictures of feet every day, just coming in and over and over again. I love Councillor Troy regretting her decision to come down here because Bev is like, oh, we're going to leave the cemetery. I'm going to go back to my grandmother's cabin and be sad about it. You want to come with me? Oh, boy.

And she kind of is like, oh, don't you want time by yourself? No, I'd love to have you come with. All right, cool. I guess I'll go see grandma's old shack. And you know it smells in there. Oh, definitely. Like old lady and ghost fucking. Yes.

You know she's not. She's getting on in her age. She's not cleaning up after all these. You know what I'm talking about, folks. The BMs. And? The other M. The front M's.

Oh, the front M's. I'm sorry. The front M. The front movement you have with your ghost companions. Okay. He lights your candle, you see. And you just leave it out there.

It would be great if there's... Maybe you wipe a doily on it. All right, already! All right! You see the towel is better because this is holes in. Yes. I do... So they see the...

She goes in and, like, This is, we're exposing this candle. That's very important to the episode. Be great, there's a bottle of lube next to it. A couple of wrinkled magazines. Like, Grandma was really into some shit. Man, K-Y's still making it, huh? Jesus. Wow.

That's something. An old phaser you put down really, really low. Just like stimulate yourself. Just a vibrate mode. There's a vibrate mode on the phaser. Mr. Data set phasasers to pleasure. What? I just like to have it down right next to my balls.

It's just how I like to. to carry it. And, you know, we talk about Nana a little bit. Apparently she raised Bev and, like, you know, all the, all the ladies had sparkling green eyes except for Bev and her mother who, I guess the mother died before this ghost could get his gnarly fingers on her. Yeah, no, that's exactly what happened. Yeah. He's pissed off about it. He skipped a generation. The flawless streak has ended. Now, he's, I guess he's not actually a ghost, because if he was a real ghost, he could maybe molest another ghost and find that lady, too. Yes. No, he's a phased genesis. Nick Orgin... He's a Star Trek Talk character. Yes. Code for Space Guy. He's a space guy. He's a space guy. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Troy leaves pretty

quickly. She's like, you know what? I'm going to leave you with your thought. It is so awesome. She's kind of chasing after her like, no, don't you want to stay for it? She's like, no, you got it! There's the door. Beamed me out of here right now, Wharf. Meanwhile, Jean-Luc Picard is fixing the air conditioning for a planet. They have

The thing that everybody, like half of America thinks the weather system is controlled, this is actually happening on this planet. They have a weather control system that's on the fucking prince. And this, this like the governor or chancellor or whatever the fuck this dude is is. Disgusting looking. Governor Dogman. He's disgusting. You don't talk of a widow's peak. It starts at his nose and like separates out.

He's got like four nostrils. Disgusting. You should be naked and afraid and hunted in the woods or something. I'm not sure. This is a nasty beast. And he's like, oh, you know, it's so sad about, oh, God, it's so sad about your doctor's grandmother. She was a jewel of the village.

So the air conditioner is on the fritz. If you wouldn't, it's like, go to your grandmother's. I was like, can you fix the H.D.MI on my television? I mean, he's kind of underselling it. Because at one point, he's like, well, you know, there was earthquakes while I was having tea. I'm like, well, that, yeah, we should fix that. If there's earthquakes, we should be.

Complain about that, but this guy's like, it's rain. and it's not supposed to be at this time of year. It's fucking Scotland, for Christ's sakes. Don't buy the ticket if you can't take the fucking ride. It's going to be cold and rainy a lot. Do you want me to make the weather shit here? Is that what you want? I can turn it down.

Turn it down, Jordan. And this is the worst deal of all time, too. He's totally ripping these people off. He's like, could you do all of this maintenance from your ship, get your crew down here, fix my air conditioning, turn the motion flow back on, right? And in exchange, I'll give you a pretty cool tour of our town. And because Picard is such a nerd, he's like, you know what?

That's a super sweet deal. The robot and the blind man do all the work, and I get a cool tour of the town. Excellent. And this is tragic because this poor sad man doesn't even get to get this goddamn tour. No. Horny fucking ghost. So we come back to a crusher who's just like quietly in her grandmother's house in grief or whatever and she goes upstairs

she takes the candle with her. Oh no she leaves a candle downstairs. Takes that journal with her though. Oh, the erotic journal. I never thought this would happen to me. And here comes Quint. This guy just graduated from the Scrooge McDuck School of Scottish Acting.

This accent sucks. It's real bad. This dude long dead clearly, but he was an Irishman in real life and he's the dude. if you are familiar with the bad horror movie Lepricon, he's the old fucker that falls down the stairs at the beginning,

like the Lepricon murders him? This dude, I wish the lepricon was murdering him in this episode. Well, the character's Scottish, okay, and the actor is Irish. Close enough. Yeah, it's a real close enough situation. He'll handle it fine. It won't be cartoonish at all. See, a lepracon on the loose would be more pressing matter than the weather.

Yes. Possibly. If it's that lepracon for sure, because he's murdering shit. Well, that's what they are, right? All of them? I thought so. I thought they were more jolly. We're on page like nine

and the most exciting thing that happens in the script this far as dinner light that condo! And you're like, he just barges into this house and starts taking things and stuff and she has to run downstairs and be like, who are you?

We have to work on our, you know, bedside manner, for lack of a better term, because he's immediately pissed off at her. Yes. You are barging into someone's house. Maybe explain yourself. Yeah.

tried to be a little, you know, congenial with her. To his point, she never visited. I mean, I think it should be his house. I mean, he was there. He should inherit it, dude. I totally agree. She doesn't get a shit about this grandma. He was taking care of her, wiping her ass between her sessions.

Well, clearly, like, the grandmother was talking shit about Bev because he's like, I've been here longer. You know, more than five years. You've been in 20. And like, that means granny was fucking counting. Yeah. She never writes that little bitch. Another day, and she's not here. Hmm.

Little Miss Star Trek, so busy around the galaxy. All right, Ned, put it on the board. It's another Christmas without her. She calls herself a hero. I spent 10 years teaching her how to do all that. Do I get a letter or a call? Of course not. Oh, sorry, are you dealing with the Borg?

I guess my cancer is not big enough for you. Sorry, it's that exciting like the Borg. It's cancer on my birthday. Which is also Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, Christianity still exists in the 24th century we find out seven seasons into the show. Because Granny's getting like a Christian burial. Oh, right, yeah. Have we seen other religions in Star Trek represented, or did Christianity just win at the end of this all?

I think this is maybe one of the only times it kind of comes up. There's like Glep-Clop religions. I think it's more of a kits thing. I think it's all been dead, but like, you know what? Let's take it up. Oh, I'm Trad Cath now. A lady has her hand up. Oh, okay.

So it's like a nice, like it's like a unitarian scenario. Oh, okay, there we go. Is it Methodism? Well, it's also like in the original series of Star Trek, every other episode is like, oh, does Christianity exist? No, it's actually a crooked alien. Does Judaism exist? No, it's a crooked alien. Every single denomination gets full, like we've been.

fucked with and fooled for years. It's all a scam. These people don't even know that Jesus was an alien. Oh, my goodness. He was just a con man. I'm sorry. An inspirational portrait of a farmer's son who rises from humble beginnings to build a luxury fashion empire.

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known as the King of Kashmir. See Brunello, the gracious visionary in Select Theaters July 24th. But that's just what I'm saying, though. Once Vulcans touch down on Earth and first contact happens, all that shit is flushed down the fucking toilet. Yes, exactly. There's no more religion.

Or people go even harder at it, maybe. Oh, why we start worshipping Vulcans instead? Vulcanism. I'd do that. Absolutely. May the logic be with you. And also with you. I would like to see a Vulcan shirtless nail to a piece of wood. Spock is kind of Jesus Christ in that third movie.

Yeah, he comes back. A little bit. Yeah. Jesus didn't come back quite as horny as Spock did. No. He had to immediately, immediately. Spock comes back from the dead like, somebody jerk me off right now!

It's gonna be bad if you don't! See that third movie? I promise you that's exactly how it happens. We're not lying. And so she kicks him out. And like that's kind of the thing. It's like, ooh, is there a ghost? The answer is, they're fucking better be.

At this point in the episode, there better be. It's this weird thing to her. He's like, all you Howard women are all the same. And I'm like, you met two of them. This one today. Yeah, exactly. She brings the candle on board. This is the ghostbuster scene, right, where she's sleeping.

And basically it happens. Oh, yeah. She gets Dan Akroated. Yes. Her eyes should cross. That'd be funny. While this song cleaning up the town is playing, whatever fat guy John Candy shit's on the soundtrack then. That'd be a great song because you can juxtapose it with Picard like fixing the weather, you know, do a whole montage of him cleaning up the town.

And then that dog man's like, grab a broom. You're not done yet. This is why you don't go to funerals. You get looped into a bunch of shit. You do? And to Chris's point, this guy is not asking permission for fucking anything. No, that's not his. Very handsy. Not his way. Casper the Hansy ghosts we got right here. Anybody else ever fall asleep reading their grandmother's sex diary, by the way?

Because that's what she has done. She's just quietly sleeping with Grammy's sex stories. Oh, two hands. Oh, wow. And so she tells Troy about it the next day, right? They're having a work meeting, which is where you want to be talking about this. You also, I'm sorry, Bev, but at this. At this point, you're an adult.

Your grandmother, your dead grandmother was an adult as well. No more Nana when you're talking about how she took a lover at a hundred. Nana had a lover. That is the horrible way to say this. Just start using her first name at that point. It sounds like a weird lover. Tom Waits' lyrics. Nana had a lover.

She boiled a shoe. Went down to space, Scotland and had herself a lover. He died in a rest of your wife. church or something gross he was a green fog but yes Andrew it's it's like there's kind of funny because she's talking about this all this erotic shit

and then like Troy's like these personnel reports that we should be looking at I mean you should be opening a new one on her this is an HR violation don't tell me about your grandma's sex life that's the thing is she has to learn now that Troy is not giving her anything that she wants so she goes to the man that she knows has

going to react and that is Jean-Luc Picard. John Luke Picard gets to say vigorous libido, doesn't it? Oh, these Howard women had vigorous libido. And his name was wronged? Oh, wait. So your grandmother was with a masterless samurai. Samurai. Samurai.

Samurai. I love, it's kind of great because they're just doing a walk and talk. And she's like, yes, Nana had to love her. He was in his 30s. And when she was 100, she goes in whatever. room is and the door closes and he goes, 30s. He doesn't say

he's like, Jesus fucking Christ. We know what he meant that. The intention is, that's fucking disgusting, man. Good God, I met that woman once. Now I can't get it out of my head. Was that consensual or was she a bit nutty, you know?

Hey, Mr. Data, new human behavior. I never heard of this one, but you know, if you want to learn what humans are, apparently some women in their hundreds, Buc guys in their 30s. Captain, they call them century shaggers. It's well documented on Earth in a show called age-gapped lovers. Jesus.

I bet they go like energizer bunnies at that age, don't they? Oh, my. Oh, I just remembered another great part of age-gap lovers. Oh, please. Just derail us again for a second. There's a great one where some dude, of course, is dating a granny, and he's a professional magician. Mm-hmm.

Yes. Which is just awesome. Oh, you got the end of it? Yes. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. He's a professional magician and he's like, oh, I'm definitely going to marry her. This is going to be great to spend the rest of my life or her life with me. Yeah, okay. So, three years.

This dude proposes marriage to this old bag and gets turned down. In front of his whole, he brings the whole family. The whole fucking family. You know, that means that a few times she was about to have an orgasm and made it disappear. Excellent. The only thing about the personnel scene with Troy is the phrase, I was reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal. Thank you.

That is an underlined phrase in my brain that's never leaving. But then double underlined is the word particularly. Because that implies there's just some okay erotic chapters. But this one was particularly erotic, which to me is like, Details. Discriptors all over the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wet, slippery, rough, et cetera.

How fat are those digits? I need to know. Oh, my lord. Yeah. Exactly right. I agree. Good God. You fucking filthmonger.

Do you know what we just watched? What is wrong with you? I had to watch it twice. This is not on us, okay? You might think this is a filthy show. This is the type of stuff they were putting on television. Well, it's really the thing, like, you know, prestige television, and also this is always over here, you guys have much shorter seasons of things, like, you know, six, ten, twelve

episodes. In America is bigger and better for a long time. 24 episodes that a season. It's like, I don't know, man, maybe Beverly fucks a ghost. Like that's the thing. And that's lunch. You can't blame them, right? Exactly.

24 episodes for seven straight years, eventually someone's getting fucked by a ghost. It just has to happen. I don't care if it. Star Trek family ties, whatever. Somebody runs for mayor. That's like three episodes. I don't know. Oh, Mr. Data, can I count on your vote for ship's mayor? Captain, you're already the captain.

Oh, I can't, actually. I'm being wrongly imprisoned for murder. That's been five episodes. But, yeah, so... She goes back to the grave. Yes. The editing in this is so terrible. It goes from, like, Enterprise to the planet

without seeing much transportation. It's feeling like we're sort of like emptying the budget on the show here and it's going down the drain so it's a lot of bad editing. She's back at the cemetery and this cartoon character is there glomgold or whatever this dude is.

Quint. And she's like, oh, hey, I'm sorry. You know, just getting over the death of Nana. And, you know, I was inappropriate when you were stealing shit from my house earlier. She shoes him like a bug out of that house. Get out of him.

Get out of here now. Nobody wants you anymore. Well, it's nice to take him outside. I would have just stepped on him. But again, this dude and this cartoon accent, it's so hilarious. He's like, ah, yes, it's fine. Last, may I remind he, the he's hunted! Don't let the candle.

The horny candle will win. And meanwhile, because it is a Star Trek episode, we do need to give Jordy and Data something to do. Yes, please, God, anything to make me forget. get what's going on on the planet. So they're doing like vague engineering things and they're like, wow, your air conditioner really is busted, dude. I've never seen anything like it.

Captain, I've tried hitting the side of it and it has no effect. I'm just seeing an absolutely abnormal amount of ghost particles in here, just insane amounts. That's your problem. The works are all gummed up by some ghost particles. It happens every day. And the stakes couldn't be lower

because this dog man comes in, he's like, oh my, I really hope this doesn't affect the caber toss this weekend. And I'm like, dude, we have saved fucking billions of lives. We fought the fucking Borg. This is lower than a Ferengi episode. This dude's concerned about whether or not a picnic's going to be rained out. Oh, you know, my grandmother also in her journals, did mate with a farangie. Oh, yikes.

That'd be cool. Like her step-sister shows up, it's a Ferengi. Hey, Beverly, we're related. I want the candy. look, as I'm the greedy race of people. Don't look into that. We're going to split the profits of the house. Ronan just is not there when that happens.

Come on, Ronan, take me. Take, Ronan. Ronan, don't you want a little of this, sweetheart? I would like my eyes to glow green when I have an orgazum. Just pouring gasoline on the candle. How hot can I get this fucking thing? It's not working. It's not working.

working. Where are you? So, like, he starts, like, Beverly's back at the house at some point, and he starts trying to make more contact and it's like, Beverly, do you remember me from last night? That'd be like, is it possible

that I was molested by another ghost? Like, yes, I do remember you. One of one. And he sort of, like, you know, comes, he makes himself visible through a mirror. This is kind of a nice... Yeah. I like this. The mirror is, like, sort of rattling a little bit. picks it up, looks behind it, no special effect department there, puts it back up. And then this dude's creepy Dracula faces right behind her.

But it's like a reverse vampire, right? You know, he can be seen in mirrors and not real life. This dude actually played Dracula in the film Monster Squad. There you go. Wow, did you guys not have that movie over here? No, it's a lot to, they're allowed not to give a shit, I guess. I mean, I barely gave a shit, but I was wondering if anyone else would have given a shit. It might have been on the video nasties.

It's possible. It is kind of awesome, though, on this dude's IMDB page. It's like something, something. He played Dracula and Monster Squad. One of the most well-received Dracula portrayals of all time. The fuck. Did your wife like that? Wizard Magazine, yeah.

Okay, that's where I'm going from my Dracula news. On his IMDB, it's like Wizard Magazine said I was a good Dracula. Just because I'm obsessed with you. Do you guys have Wizard Magazine here? No. Good. All right. You can get it over.

That's fun. Good to know. So, yeah, he kind of lets her know, like, they're going to be together forever kind of a thing. And this gets very, like, romance novelty here, very outlandish a little bit, you know, like the very sexy adult themes, you know? A lot of adult themes. Well, it's a weird, like, she's trying to have a conversation with the ghost. And, I mean, it's all bad. It's all bad.

And I don't want to, like, knock Gates McFadden because I think she's awesome. But I don't know what she's doing in this scene because it's like, is the ghost fingering you while you're talking? Yeah. Because she's like gyrated, walking around the house. Ronan, I just don't know about this. How did you talk to my mother? I mean, yeah, she might be, like, just generally being fondled. But, man, this guy has had 800 years, I think we got the count at.

800 years to get a better story than Beverly, I love you. And I loved your grandmother. No sweet talk. You didn't conjure up a dinner. Nothing. Fucking. I, you know, like, when you start, when you're dating someone, like, I always felt like people who had my mom's name

was always kind of off the list. You know what I mean? Similar. First name or last name? Well, I do. Cousins were definitely well out. Yeah. That's good to hear.

No, but you know, like, but imagining fucking someone your grandmother fuck, that's the end of it. That is a no-go. I don't care how fucking ghostly good his fingers are. Only Frank from Hellraiser. That maybe he would do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yes, of course. But the way he's talking about, about like I've had, you know, your grandmother, this, that, the other thing. It reminds me of that dude and the godfather who's like, she was the best piece of ass I ever had, and I've had them all. I fuck your whole family. Hundreds of years of fucking your family.

But he says he was born in 1647 in Glasgow, to which she replies, so you're telling me, you're an 800-year-old ghost? And he just goes, yeah, that's about the size of it. Yeah, actually, I've never done the calculation before. That sounds right. Thanks, babe. Thanks. But, like, basically she decides to bring the candle back on the Enterprise.

That's kind of, because he just basically like, she's like, no, I'm not going to do this. And then he's like, but you will, like, you know, magically. That's what I said. This is the part where she's, like, trying to have the conversation. She's, like, gripping the fucking staircase. Like, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-K fights. And then we just cut to the next morning back on the Enterprise, again, some bad editing. And this is, like, she's got this bathrobe on.

She's got some freshly squosed juice, clearly also freshly fucked. And Troy comes in and she's like, hey, so you're ready for the Klingon yoga, whatever the shit we're supposed to do right now? And she's like, no, I think I think I'm going to skip it today. And she's like, you saw that ghost again last night, didn't you? Well, no, it just shows you how useless they write Troy. Because, like, if her empathetic powers can't figure out this lady's getting fucked by a ghost, what point are they? You know what I mean? Do you have a boyfriend?

You should be like, that's a ghost. But is that a scented candle? What is that scent? Was it a Gwyneth Paltrow candle? I got gooped last night. Ooh, I got gooped from sundown to sun up. All right, that's really enough. I'm going to leave.

Goodbye, Beverly. This is great, because this is where she uses the line that every penthouse forum letter starts with. I know this sounds crazy. But I'm in love with him. And Troy, being the counselor, like, well, you know, I just want to put it out there. You're grieving for your nana,

all that stuff. Maybe it's not love. Maybe it's whatever. But I'm not going to, I'm happy for you. It's very her being professional. And then she leaves the scene immediately. You can't have two women in a Star Trek scene for too long. No, no, no, no. You get shut down.

Gene Roddenberry's ghost is tapping the fucking watch. And they should always be talking about a man. Exactly. It's the thing about it. Doesn't pass the test. It's a dead man. Well, it's not, well, it's a living ghost. No, it's an alien.

It's an alien. It's an alien that it's, it doesn't have a corporeal form. It's made a gas. And it needs to, it needs a host body to live in. But it becomes more, it has more power for corporal form if you light the candle. The candle gives you, puts up your energy meter. It lives in the candle like a genie in a lamp. Yes. Similar. Sure. I think it's still a lot, like it's still out there for a bit when the, candle goes out. Yes. And it also can affect the weather pattern

for some reason. Right. It also loads in computers. Yes. Yes. This is great. It's a really bad edit because you think you're on the bridge but it's just Jordy and Data again trying to fix the fucking air conditioner. And then the Scottish dude

with the cartoon accent just comes in as like you're not going to do it. And he like tries to pull on the wires and just fucking dies. And nobody cares. It is so funny because when they walk into this control room, the dude is already rummaging around underneath it, and data is just like,

please don't do that. Hey, you should definitely not do that. Please don't. You shouldn't bite that. Stop biting it. That's gonna, yep, you're gonna kill it. Now, did Ronan do this or was it just electricity? Oh, this is Ronan. This is Ronan.

It's the green force lightning that gets him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Green electricity means it's a sex ghost. We should say the reason they have to go down to that weather station is because things are getting worse on the enterprise. Picard walks out of his office or his ready room there. He goes to the bridge

and there's just fog everywhere. This is the stupidest scene in the episode. Like by far. It's really dumb and Worf has to be like, yeah, also, I don't know, the lights don't work on deck 13. Gravity doesn't work on deck 14. That sounds like the big one.

I think we should be putting our attention to that over the fog. Cut to people floating down there or something. But yeah, there's the fog. and everything, like, oh, did the holodeck malfunction? Is there werewolves out? Did Professor Moriarty get out again? Is Jack the Ripper about? Whoa.

I love... Picard's line, though? Yes, yeah. Oh, boy, I hope we get this fixed soon. In the meantime, I'm going to get my jacket. Jacket. Jacket isn't a word that's used on Star Trek, really. And if you are going to use it, you got to let me see what this jacket is.

I got to see it. If there's fur on it, I'm going to go bug fuck. Dude, it's probably a really cool jacket, like his battle jacket. It's got, like, pins and metal logos. Yes. Sorry, Mr. Woff, you can't wear this. It's actually members only. I don't think you're a member, are you?

I had them copy this from the Earth movie Triple X with Vin Diesel. And it's a really wonderful jacket, I think. It flows, doesn't it? In the hood? That's a big furry number. Great minds think alike, Chris Cabin. I was literally going to say, imagine Jean-Luc Picard wearing that cool jacket

from Vin Diesel's Triple X. I always admired Xander Cage growing up. Triple X was one of my favorite films. Triple-X state of the Union, not so much. Sorry, Ice Cube. I was front row seats at TV because it was an old movie for The Return of Zander Cage. Yes, it took about 300 years for that movie

to catch on, but it did. Also, by the way, that line very well could have been, like, Patrick Stewart just being like, I'm going to get my fucking jacket. You know what I mean? Like, and they kept it in my accent. It's like, John, we're good.

I'm going to get my fucking jacket. My jacket's going to go play tennis. We are out of here. Patrick, Patrick kept to say cut. Cut first, Patrick. I know how it works. Do you? Do you? I think my cigarettes and my fucking jacket.

Oh, yeah. Are they Benson and Hedges, I bet. Absolutely. But so Beverly determines here that Quint did not die from the machinery with some sort of other energy discharge that happened. And what I love is when this scene starts, Data and Jordy are back working on this little console again. And again, horribly edited episode. You have no idea who else is in the room. It's just them again working moments after this dude is eating shit.

Which I thought was on the ship forever. But apparently it's not. It's on Space Scotland. No, it's back in this weather station and then they cut out and this dude's corpse is still just laid out and Beverly's working on it like, nope, console didn't do this.

They're like stepping over him. I think they put their lunch down. The fucker's still smoking. A stretcher at the very least. Come on now. It's a flight of the concords gag. Like two people are talking and then the third guy is there, but he's actually dead.

So they go to take the body back to the ship for further analysis, autopsy. and it's kind of awesome because they're like, is a jury? Somebody's like well, doctor, aren't you going to do that? And she's like, no, I have other pressing matters which is running back to the house to just fuck

this ghost again. Sex addiction is getting the way of her work, which is she's right to try to resign. There's this great, I think it's right right here, she comes back to the ship with the candle and she's like trying to light it. She's like oh, come on, come on, give me a fix. She's desperate for it. She's tapping her arm.

Come on. She's shaking. They do have her. She's got her, like, foot up on the bed. Like, come on. Where is he? Where is he, man? I just need that green gas, man. I wanted to hit my green spot. Oh, that's what it stands for. No, that's not what it stands for. Yes, it does. Oh, interesting. So we light this candle, and she's like, I lit the candle. Where are you? Just, like, calling around again and whatever. And then this is a weird, he jumps scares her? Yeah. Like, he jumps up, boom! I'm right here, Beverly. like if you're trying to convince this lady to go along with whatever this is spooking her out like this is not the move you gotta keep it spicy dude

I mean whatever happened to romance but I guess he's supposed to be from 1800s and that you know he's we're lucky he's not hitting her with a club or something that was that was how you you charmed back then yeah so she starts saying I think we saw some of this like I didn't know I could feel this way yada yada yada and then we cut to the transporter room when she She's just immediately quit her job. She's dressed up like the rest of the people down on the planet, which is like a sort of like 19th century kind of vibe.

Yeah. And she's ready to go. And Picard comes in and he's got the little tablet like, the fuck is this? You're doing what? And she's like, yeah, I quit my job. I don't accept it. What are you talking about?

Don't you, don't energize. Nobody energizes it so I say so. You have to, if I'm Beverly and like this whole episode comes, happens, she winds up defeating the ghost, etc. And then at the end, she's like, wow, I'm really changed by that experience. You have to stay resigned. This is so fucking humiliating.

To quit your job at a big hop, do a big Jerry McGuire. And that'd be like, because you're so fucking horny over a ghost? Yeah, and Warf's like, whoa, she's back. The job listing's already up. We were interviewing people in the conference room. Our indeed got

slammed. Then your underlings, like the nurse, like, oh, we've got a head wound on sector five. You want me to take care of it, or are you too horny? Are you too horny to take care of it? I am, actually. I have to leave. I have to leave. Because that's the thing. You know Troy is going to dish.

Oh, of course. Eventually, it's going to get out that you are fucking your grandmother's ghost lover. It's going to happen, and everybody's going to know. Actually, oh, Dr. Crusher, my grandmother's coming here. I hope you don't fuck her. I wasn't fucking my grandmother, okay? Everyone's getting that wrong. I did not fuck my grandmother. I

Fucked my grandmother's ghost. No, the ghost that fucked my grandmother, I fucked. Not the ghost of my grandma. Jesus Christ. Hey, mom, it's me, Wesley, back at Starfleet Academy, or whatever the fuck I was doing at the end of the show and not being on it instead. I'm hearing some weird stuff at school.

And I just wanted to check in, because if that's true, I'm not coming to Christmas. You have to come to Christmas, honey. You have to meet your new, stepfather, he's a ghost. He doesn't eat. That's what I thought. Oh, Wesley. Well, you know, Wesley.

Right, you. Your mother never had a daughter, so I guess we'll have to make the devil's do. Of course. Why not? Absolutely. That'd be cool. You would have beautiful green eyes. Yes. It'd be progressive. I would like to see it. So she does, she goes down and

Troy and Picard have a conversation. They keep thinking this dude Ronan is just some dude that's in the village. And Picard's like, well, I'm going to meet the young gentleman who's been sweeping off my officer right off her feet. God damn it. And no, I'm not in love with her. God. Stop with that rumor.

This is creepy, right? This is the doorway scene. Is that right? So this is, yeah, we saw a little bit of this. This is the most like explicit that we get in this episode because she's like, first of all, call that dude at the factory. She's barefoot and shit in the scene. Yeah, she sure is. And she's like got

the foot up, you know, on the table. That's crazy. Just kind of like waiting for this dude to come in here, you know. And then he appears and she's ready. And he's like, all right. Three, two, one. And then like he...

The card is just like, hello? Well, no. What is going on in here? It's amazing because it starts happening. and she's really into it and everything, and then it's like, knock, knock, oh, I didn't hear that, because my mind is someplace else. And then he walks in, and this is the start

of a porno scene. Say there. I'm here to deliver the pizza. It's sausage. Oh, no, you're stuck in a washing machine. No, I'm also like, knock, knock, knock, oh well, I'm just gonna go in, you know, there's no tie on the door or anything,

so nothing naughty is happening. Remember college rules, okay? There's no sock. I ain't seen a sock. Did you see a sock? And he does snap out of it briefly. Oh, Captain, what are you doing here? And he's like, you know, I just want to meet this young man. I keep hearing about this Ronan that's got such a big dick or whatever. What's so great about Rodin? Ever's Rodin this, rodent this, rodent has hair, I guess. Oh, that's cool. You know, you do know, Beverly, that a masterless samurai is without honor.

You should have killed himself, but I guess he's a ghost or whatever. Oh, stop it, John Luke. It's Robert. Diro. And they have this, it's kind of great. Ronan does appear and he pretends like he's just coming out of the bathroom or whatever. And he's like, oh, there you are. Mr. Ronan, good to see you. And like, he starts to do like the third act.

Like, I know more about you than not. Like he thinks he's crooked. So he's like, what ship did you come on? You know, what's your function? What's your station? Who do you know? Who are your neighbors? And when he says, who are your neighbors?

He turns into gas. Like, he couldn't handle that one. question? Yeah. It's a tough one. I don't know, Jerry. You know, who's my name is? Tom, Alan. Again, he's got nothing. You've had 800 years to think up a story, and you've

got fucking nothing. It is great. He's like, I bet if I talk to my best friend, the governor, he wouldn't even know who the fuck you are. Me and the governor are like, this man, and you're shit. We talk about AC repair all day long.

I'm fixing his storms, you fuck. You bet your ass I'm setting the clock on his VCR. There's a great moment of the Enterprise, a shot of the Enterprise, just shooting the weather systems. Jamming it and get it done, dude. Maybe this will do it. That's like Wharf behind Data's back.

I think I could fix it if I'd just shoot at it. You know, why don't I just fucking bomb this whole town? The whole colony seems like a real bad idea in the first place. No, we got it's like a really big phaser. That's what we got here. It's pretty good. Meanwhile, all this is going on, they have... Data discovers that the energy, whatever, the fuck-up that's going on, the big signal,

is coming from the cemetery? So while this sexy walk-in is happening, Jordi and Data are down at this cemetery, and they're looking around and he's like, well, it appears this reading is two meters below ground, right in Beverly's grandmother's grave. That's weird. And I've never seen this on... Star Trek before or since. It's kind of cool.

They beam the coffin up out of the ground. Yes. Easy peasy. No fuss, no must. No shovels needed, you know? I do, uh, you know, I kind of want this to turn into the scene in the omen in the graveyard where David Warner gets fucking impaled. Oh, yeah. Does David Warner get impaled? I thought David Warner gets his head cut off by the glass. Oh, that's right. It's like some priest

that gets the rod iron through him. Mm-hmm. Yeah, both great deaths, though. Great debts on the omen. Beautiful. But they realize Beverly, Ronan goes, he's like, you can't dig up Felice, that's bad, and he kind of escapes.

What they're doing is illegal. He zaps the shit out of Picard and then gets the fuck out of there. And if we had different accents in this scene, like it would be the most white trash shit. Like, oh, Lordy, my ex-boyfriend came over, knocked the door down and shot my curry boyfriend.

Oh, man. My boyfriend was sleeping with my grandmother down at the holler. And now they're fighting in the graveyard over Granny's grave. Good Lord. Then I killed my current boyfriend in the graveyard over Granny's grave. Isn't this the most white trash shit you've ever seen? No, Johnny Luke, don't do it.

Don't hurt him. I love him. Oh, then John Luke actually asked him what his neighbors was. He just dashed right out of here. He ain't got no neighbors. Never had none. Everyone from the holler knows their neighbors. we're all related

She brings John Luke back to life and he's like Wow you are going to eat so much shit over this She runs to the graveyard to confront Ronan who is zapping both data and Jordie Via animating the grandmother's corpse Oh yeah you buried the lead back in the grave dude

Who is the rapping granny from movies of your The wedding singer yes there you go this is the most unintentionally funny part of this episode I think they thought it would be like maybe spooky or eerie or whatever but they opened the coffin and this robot's just scanning this corpse and then you just see

it's like real hard close up on this old lady and her eyes open and she sits right up it's like Sam Ramey evil dead stuff yeah it's terrifying she started throwing up on data like in Drag Me to Hell like just the old lady's vomiting and I'm sorry Ronan this counts his necro it does

you're on the list I'm sorry entered her, you know. He is inside, for sure. For sure. And he zapsed both data and Jordy. Beverly's very upset about this. She's confronting him. And this is like the parlor scene.

She earned her paycheck here. She's just running through this betagenic organism and what it needs to do and what it doesn't need to do. It's like three pages of dialogue in 13 seconds. And you can't really try to pay attention or follow it to a because you will have a seizure and fall down. And she is not

exactly grappling with the emotions of watching her dead grandmother be reanimated by the man or organism she's currently fucking. I would be scared by that. One great thing, this is future technology that I really like about this scene, is they're

able to exhume the coffin by transporting it out of the dirt. They don't have to dig it up. No, no, no digging. Not needed. It's just zapping. It's, you know, just zapping. He's like really afraid, like don't blow out my candle, basically. Yeah, whatever you do.

Because he's also, when he escapes the body, it's because she yells at the old lady. Yes. Because she's, oh, Beverly, hello, it's been a few days, hasn't it? You're not my nana. And then it's like, well, fine, you're right. And then this old lady just kind of... Oh, it's so good.

Yeah. Yeah, then she just, yeah, she shoots the candle, which is very funny. And then this dude tries, it's actually, it is a... very Dracula-looking move. He's kind of got a cape on, he jumps off, and she shoots this fucker mid-jump. It's pretty

great. It just sort of dissolves. And does that kill him, or will he return? That's the thing. I think if you would just, you blow out the candle, he's just kind of weakened at that point. But you get rid of that candle altogether, he's gone. Or is there another fetching octogenarian somewhere

in the vicinity that he can latch on? Or another lamp. Maybe Oaxana Troy was also on board that we... Oh, take her. Just take her and just take her. I have no problem with dating a ghost. I would love to date a ghost. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm Lexeran-Troy.

Please shoot my candle right now. Shoot it, destroy it, explode it. Beverly Kieling. You're not the first ghost I fuck. Oh God, please just shoot it right now. Wait, so, Riker, you're telling me, the ghost committed suicide, you say. Well, that's fascinating.

Don't see that that often. Well, I'll take off my jacket and we'll get the fuck out of it. The only captain's log of the episode we get here at the end and it's really funny, it's like, Captain's Log. The robot and the blind guy are totally fine from the Force Lightning that happened.

But Beverly, oh, she's damaged goods, man. It's going to take a real long time for her to come back from this. We had 24 hours making fun and then we all made a truth. We wouldn't bring it up again because she has to actually perform surgery on us

occasionally. Captain's log. I was able to do my six seeds in three days and I was able to attend my friend's birthday party. Not too semi. Short week for me. Love it. I'll be in the convertible in no time.

Fute is so bright I got to wear shades. And then so if we weren't jam packing this teleplay with weird uncomfortable lines, the final scene of the episode is Bev talking with Troy once again. And she says, I was about to be initiated into a very unusual relationship. You might call it a family tradition.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't call it that. Neither would I. Family tradition is like decorating the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. That's a family tradition. Not fucking a ghost. Every July 4th we watch Jaws. Not fucking a ghost.

We put a little parmesan on our mashed potatoes. You know, a little thing like that. That sounds nice, man. It's not bad. Yeah, you'll shave on there before you get down with them taters. You grade it. The depths of depravity, you're a butterman, I bet.

Oh, I am. Uh-huh. And then it's a weird, like, she feels bad about icing him. Yeah. She's like, well, you know, he was sexually molesting me and all that, but he made Nana happy. He was good at it. Whatever he was doing to me, he was good at it, I guess.

End credits. That's it. Like, literally it's just like, huh. This episode gets requested so often. I was shocked that we... You can't get... Because I never read any of the talk about what the episodes actually are, and I didn't go through the seventh season.

And I'm so glad I didn't, because if I had read what this was about, I would have really had to make a stand. Yeah, just a big N-O from you. Oh, boy. Has anyone not seen this, by the way? Y'all have seen this episode? Oh, what in the world? Oh, I'm sorry.

You might have gotten lost. Was this a real what's going on up there? Go ahead. You got nothing. You'll go for it. No, no. I was going to say that to the end of the episode. But we thought because Star Trek fans are really rabid.

Wouldn't you know it? They're definitely writing reviews on IMDB for him. Yes. So just a smattering of insanity to close us out here. Oh, boy. We got three. They're all great. All right, here we go.

Two out of ten stars. Subject line among the very worst episodes of the series and evidence that perhaps they were running out of ideas. I'll hear him out. Yeah. Written by Plankton Rules. Sure.

December the 5th, 2014. Did a... Oh, I was going to say, did a whale write this? I would imagine he likes the show SpongeBob Square. They're very smart. Okay. Could also be a whale. I don't know.

Man, now I'm just pictured a whale trying to get his big ass fan on a keyboard. Way better to the SpongeBob character. He's a Star Trek fan. I bet he's whale's shaped. Oh. Oh. Oh. No. Or too skinny. Sure.

If a whale wrote it, it would just go, yeah. That would be it. It'd be better written than some of these reviews. Sure. What a beautiful song does whales sing. Hell yeah, dude. All right. I thoroughly hated Sub Rosa.

And I feel it's among the most embarrassing and stupid episodes of Star the next generation. My wife didn't hate it quite as much as me, but she thought the show was indeed inferior. Dude, check on your candles, man. Yeah, hey, babe, I think there's some glitch with the Paramount Plus app. Every time I turn Star Trek the next generation back on, it says previously watch Sub-Rosa. Every time. It's fucking weird. God, I bought fucking 20 candles. When all these got to work? Come on! Come on! Come on! Malformed. Sorry, everybody.

It's okay, Steve. It's all right. Don't you worry about it, baby. Biltzy. All right. Seven out of ten stars. Highly erotic, TNG episode. All right, man. Written by BK Gang Bang.

No. Whoa. Wait, wait, that's a gang bang in Brooklyn I wasn't invited to? Can you imagine? That's a first. BK Gang Bang Wrote this November the 22nd, 2018

This episode centers on Dr. Beverly Crusher, who is on leave in a Scottish-type colony in outer space. Really? Starge, okay. The place looks like the set for a road company production of Brigadoon. I don't know what that means. It's a movie. Cool.

Gates McFadden is there for the funeral of her grandmother. No, Dr. Crusher is there. Who must have died at one ripe old age. Which is weird because what are you saying about Beverly Crusher right there? Yeah, I don't I don't like that.

Then again, humans by this time were living longer. By this time. What does that have to do with it? Star Trek times. Yeah, Star Trek times. It's just a funny way to put it by this time. A fake time that this person will never see. Great grandson, Wesley

Crusher, was not there. Thanks for laying the guilt trip in your IMDB review. Good observation there. Missed Great Nana's funeral. It's there she learns that her mother's family has this other worldly creature in human

form played by Duncan Rieger who since the 16th century has been pleasing the women for generations. Duncan Rieger's been doing this? That's the actor's name. Yeah, is he doing it? Draculia. Oh, okay. Honestly, we've said a lot of gross shit on the stage

tonight. Nothing has been grosser than saying pleasing the women. He's been pleasing the women. Yeah. Skin crawling. Just look at the smile he leaves on Gates McFadden's face. He must be doing something. Just look at it.

Look at it. What is acting? I'm not sure why this guy had to be destroyed. Still, of course he is. If you can, like, master him, you know, like, keep him that candle for special occasions. Sure. Like, you bring out your vibrator once in a while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of thing. Got it. You have a slow week? I get it. Yeah, maybe you give a ghost, like, you know, lobotomy to him or something. Yeah, yeah. That sounds completely not worth the effort.

I don't think so. Just, you put, set your face it to vibrate and let it be. Uh, but still, of course, he is. But this is one erotically charged TNG story. End of review. This dude just with the highly erotic, erotically charred. If your name is BK.K. Your name is BK Gang Bang.

That's all he's going on IMD for. Right. Actually, I should be thankful then. It's as clean as it is. Yeah, exactly. This is one erotic episode of Renan Stimpy. Holy shit. You see that Chihuahua's feet? Fuck.

All right, one more. One out of 10 stars. Subject line, WTF. written by Poor Devil 66 July 30th, 2018. This episode should have just been called Beverly Crusher needs to get laid. Horrible episode from an otherwise great show.

We've been We Hate Movies from New York City. Thanks so much. Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Thank you. We'll see in a little bit. Bye-bye.