We Hate Movies - S16: WHM Mail Bag 3.9.26

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

On this edition of WHM Mail Bag, we're reading some wild letters from listeners: a fella who had a co-worker that remained on the line when he went to the bathroom, someone who had one helluva time traveling cross-country with their cat, a group of friends who drank an improbable amount of malt liquor in one weekend resulting in the letter-writer throwing up on The El, and another booze-filled nightmare that ended with a guy unknowingly shaking his shit at a cop!Have a weird/embarrassing/gross story you want read on the air? Is there a years-long movie-related feud in your family that you need quashed? Are you in desperate need of relationship advice, and you've tried literally everywhere else? Then write in to the WHM Mail Bag: [e-mail]! Be sure to catch us on the road in Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22 where we’ll be talking Conan the Barbarian and Big respectively. Tickets on sale now! Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!  Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

The Bell Air Direct app includes crash assist, which detects an accident the moment it happens, and even offers you emergency assistance at the tap of a button. Okay, but what if I don't have an accident? Well, just keep on, keeping on. Bell Air Direct, insurance, simplified. Conditions apply. Everybody, welcome to WHM Mailbag. This is our mailbag opening program for the 9th of March, 2026.

Oh, my good God. My name is Andrew Juppin. alongside three other dudes that as far as I know have above sixth grade reading levels just like myself. We have Stephen Sadek. I think I clocked it at eight. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, I checked out, uh, choose your own adventure and under dude. That's what I left off there. We have Eric Siska, of course. About a seven. Yeah, seventh grader type of stuff. That's what I'm reading lately. The seventh allows you to get through them Game of Thrones and stuff. Yeah, get all that stuff going.

And Christopher Cabin. wherever the Hardy Boys are that was the last thing I think me and you are down together buddy that's where we are choose your adventure and the Hardy Boys yeah where are they they're in like oh they're looking at a haunted

house today oh it's a haunted house today it's a haunted mine tomorrow it's a haunted train car the week after that you know was it getting like real like racist or was that just Johnny Quest which was kind of a riff on the Hardy Boys was it like oh the Asian man's mine et cetera

I think they were just boy detectives. Just boy detectives. I don't think that there was a lot of that. But who the hell knows? Yeah, I don't remember there being much international affair with Hardy Boys. They usually stayed in the Americas as I remember. I was flipping through hotel TV and Johnny Quest was on and I was like, how is this allowed to be on television?

Sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's sort of in amber in a nice way. But you know what? You go back through those Hardy Boys books. I'm sure you'll find a term or two that doesn't. fly these days, man. Sure. I mean, the hearty buddies are out doing stuff

when Eisenhower was running around, I think. You know, what's going on in the chat to everybody coming in this daytime mailbag? We have infinity or virus, maybe. I don't know what that is. Derek B. 7119 Ms. Rose, NYC,

Scott Plakmeyer, something like that. Quigon, Gen, and Tonic. We got a lot of folks in the chat today. We are here, of course, to read letters and tell you about stuff that we're doing. And one of the things that we're doing that's very cool, we'll up top it, Eric, because we're on a bit of a deadline,

but worked into our adventure out to Minneapolis. What about our adventure out to Minneapolis? The thing we're announcing? The thing we're announcing with the Timberwolves? Yes. It's very exciting. We're partnering with the NBA. You all knew it would happen eventually.

You thought it would be us playing ball, but it's not. It's us introing a movie, hosting a little night. with the Timberwolves at their office theater will be there. Let me let, now I'm looking at the screen. I'm like, we'll be there March 19. There it is. I think the screen is at 7 p.m. folks. And we're going to have this newsletter is going to go out tomorrow, I think,

so where you can get sign up for the tickets. So go to Timberwolves.com slash WHM now and sign up to receive the Wolf's Wire. That is the Timberwolves fan newsletter. That's right. There will be information in there for how to get tickets. It'll be free tickets, by the way. And it's first come availability. So I guess watch your emails like a hawk.

That's right. And I'm really excited about this. As famously, the Timberwolves are my favorite basketball team. I've always said that over and over on the air. Constantly. Constantly. Just always rooting for those guys. No, I love that team. I'm really excited.

I think we're actually going to catch a game, going to sneak into a game to see Anthony. Edwards and ex-Nick Julius Randall and Dante Ivincenzo. Exactly. Dude, the big ragu. I'm pumped.

I'm really excited. It's a really fun team. It's one of my, it's one of my West Coast teams. You've got to have some West Coast teams. I am shocked that you even brought up the Knicks. I know you hate them. A former player,

I would think that's just on your hate list, number one. Yeah. I like that Minnesota is a West Coast state. It's a weird thing. Western conference. Oh, got it. There's some stuff.

But that also doesn't make sense. No, it doesn't. No. I'm just, yeah, Midwestern conference. But it's very important. You go to timberwolves.com slash WHM and sign up for their email list because that is the only way they will be giving you ticket information. We have no ticket information. We have nothing to do with it.

We know it's free screening. We know where it is, when it is, what we have to do. It's going to be a big community night. I think like settlers of Catan are getting involved. There's some merch that's going on. Again, nothing of our creation, but all tied into this one really cool. community night in Minneapolis that is co-hosted by us, but mainly pulled on by the

great Timberwolves organization. Yes, and also if you don't know, I mean, this is kind of cool that the, so it's like their practice courts and then there's a movie theater there. Yeah. So it was used to be an AMC theater and now it's, you know, like a private screening room. So it's gonna be a lot of fun. So hopefully you guys can come out. And also you should come out Steve and Sadek there. We're out there for another reason as well, aren't we? Just two short days later on. No, just the very

next night as a matter of fact. Very next day, dang it. It's going to be, we're going to be at the varsity theater. Conan the barbarian, Arnold, by the way,

anybody see this, that there's some news that Arnold might be trying to push for this fucking sequel. What? Oh, this, yeah,

like, Quarry writing and directing. I don't know. Conan the king or Conan the emperor or something. He's been talking about this for a while, but I didn't know

McQuary's involved. That's the new news. That's exciting. Discussing film nonsense bullshit. But you know what I mean? Maybe that's happening. Okay. This is in the Ziparri.

Guys, we're going to be talking Conan the Barbarian. Really excited. Conan the Barbarian, Conan the Destroyer, Conan the Grampy. Yeah, I think basically that's the idea. But I'll tell you what, I need this to happen only so that we can have Arnold in press interviews being like Christopher McQuarrie. Can you imagine how awesome it is to hear Arnold's like Christopher McQuary? Yes. I would love to hear that.

But yeah, the varsity theater, man, that's going to be a lot of fun. It's just going to be a big two nights and us trying to entertain the folks of Minneapolis for a little bit. We're very excited to be doing that. And then, yes, Steve, two nights after that, though, what's going on? Two nights after that. We're going, we're going big in Chicago talking about big. That's right. Sexual tourist movie is a boy.

Because a sexual tourist and a man's body. That's how I believe this goes, right? Something like that, yeah. It's disgusting. I can't believe that kid. And he's got his one little friend who's jealous of the fact that he didn't also turn big. And it's not, it's not Budnick, though. This is a thing. I always think that Danny Cuxey played the friend in this movie.

It is not Danny Cuxie. It's the kid from, what do you call it there? Actually, another movie about shrink, about size change. Honey I shrunk the kids. Honey I shrunk the kids. Yes. He's the little brother, neighbor, I think, right? Yes. Yes. And I think the budneck, that's T2.

Big and T2 movies that get very easy to switch up. Very easy. I confuse them all the time. Well, two movies that help me with my sexual away. awakening, dude. Linda Hamilton, not too shabby. Absolutely. Tickets for both the Den Theater show and the varsity theater show in

Minneapolis can be found on our website. WHMpodcast.com. Just click on that tour page. We got all the info, but also this is a mailbag, y'all. We're going to get into it here. Chris Cabin, you are our letter master here who assigns who's reading what. So kick us off. What do we got?

Who's reading what first? So last mailbag, it was mostly shit stories. I try to I'm trying to pivot piss stories now. Oh, that's such a classic move. You're trying to piss it. I love piss. I know. That's why Eric, actually

I'm going to have you take this first one because I think it is right up your alley. Eric, I love piss, Siska, by the way. I love piss and just telling stories about piss and, you know. Taking the piss, you know. I like it when it's warm when it's fresh.

Yeah, you'd want it warm. if you're going to have it at all. What does this email have to say? I'm reading it right now. That's what it's saying. Mr. Pisshand's horrible concoction, which is what I call my penis. This is already a five-star email

based on the title alone. Well done. Hello, gentlemen. Since the usual theme of the WHM mailbag seems to be bathroom horror stories, I thought I'd share one of mine. I do love these bathroom stories. You know, it doesn't have to be.

I always want to just put that out there. It does not have to be. We can do anything you got. Like, oh, man, one time my aunt was surly at a barbecue and something happened. That would be a fun story. Well, what happened, Steve? Did she piss? I hope not.

Yeah, she got surly at that barbecue and she shit all over the patio, right? No, no. That's what I want. That's not what I want. It's not what I want. It's not what I want. It's not. Oh, God.

All right. Okay, back to the email. Sometime in the early 2010. I was working in a large corporate office. There was a guy who worked in another department who was probably in his 40s who looked totally normal. I never said a word to this guy,

but our bladders were apparently in sync. It seemed like whenever I was at the urinal that this guy would walk in to do his business. There were only three urinals. So even with only two people, you only had the one buffer space between you. I know, I understand. It's tough. It's tough.

I don't like that. How about the, I need, I like the ones with the dividers. Dividers great. Oh, yeah. It's like, that's the least I feel like a contracting firm can do when building a bathroom with urinals. Yes. The fucking dividers, man. So I'm at least keeping my piss splattering all over me and not the guy next to me and vice versa.

I've been noticing a lack of dividers lately. So all the urinal creators out there get on. Fading Empire, Eric, the first thing to go are the dividers. We know this. Just like Rome before us, yeah. That's right. Yeah, Caesar was looking around. He's like, where were all the dividers of the urinals?

I thought he's being stabbed with them. Oh, I'm being stabbed in the bathroom. Yes, Caesar famously Dracula. We know that. Famously a Dracula. I am Julius Caesar. I'm Bob who suck your blood. Unfortunately, he was always on a conference call via a Bluetooth

tooth heads and I'm sorry. You can't be on a call with business people and I hear your piss stream hitting stuff. Seriously. No way. You may, oh, you're not going to hear it because you've got the urinal cake there. I'm hearing it. Well, that's the funny thing is like this is like exactly that naked gun gag, but people are just doing it in real time. You know what I mean? People are just doing it. Yeah, exactly. Also, I didn't know that the urinal cake was supposed to act like a silencer in the bathroom, Eric. I thought that was more of a scent-related thing. Yeah, I guess hitting, like, sometimes they got

that, they got like a mesh in there sometimes. That's pretty good to hit, right? You know, there's actually, there's some urinals where there's like, you don't talk about the one brand where there's like a little blue flower. And I always think like, that's where I'm supposed to make the target. Right. Yeah. So that's like, I think that's the toilet. Yeah, I think it's the toilet company telling you like, if you piss right here, it's the least amount of splashback.

I'll be honest. I've never. understood the ice. The ice is always like, what are what, what cocktail are we making here, man? Well, I just take my cup. I, I shuffle this in. Anyway, let's get back to the letter. Sure. And it's not like he was on mute. This guy would stride into the bathroom talking loudly and just piss away while yammering about business. This sucks. You're losing clients. I'm telling you this right now. You're losing several clients because they're going to definitely hear this fucking stream. They're hearing it, dude. So that was annoying enough. But, What made it even worse was the urinals had an auto flush that triggered when you stepped away and it was loud as hell. So you know even the people on the call could tell that you could even the people on the call weren't hearing a piss. They could have heard that at least. Right. Of course.

He's. Oh, Lord. Because there's two things right there in that situation. If you're the person on the other end and you hear that, the only two possibilities are that this guy is in the bathroom and a toilet flush loudly or he's by some like raging river taking a business call. Which is the one that's most likely. Exactly. You'll have to speak up. I'm in the rapids.

Don't fall out now. To make it downright disgusting, this guy never washed his hands. Not once that I seem to step to the sink and even fake it. By the way, working in offices, I think it was like half, half a guys working.

Just didn't wash. Just didn't wash even after shit. Do me the favor and just splash them hands. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Just even if you're faking it. That's the thing. I think they're doing this on purpose just to kind of stare you down a little bit.

Like, yeah, you're going to get some disease from me. Yeah, no, no. You're going to have piss all over you. My piss will be on it. Don't worry about it. So, yeah, he'd come in loudly on his Bluetooth piss, let them hear the toilet flush, and then went straight out of the bathroom. Anyone on the phone could also have known he, he,

anyone on the phone with him also had to know that you should never shake his hand. No way, yeah. I eventually gave him the nickname Mr. Piss Hands. Oh, Mr. Piss Hands. Coming out of the can and I'm doing just fine. God, I got to wash you, got to wash it all. Well, this is a question. Is it a secret nickname where you're like, hey, Brenda.

See that guy, Mr. Piss Hans. Oh, yeah. Did they get like office wide? Uh-huh. His worst crime happened one day when I walked in while he was already at a urinal. I had long ago given up words. about the sounds anyone on his call could hear, so I just started towards another urinal.

That's when I noticed Mr. Pissands was holding an empty Gatorade bottle. Uh-oh. Hmm. What? Are we trying to, like, cheat a drug test here? Maybe. He had it in one hand kind of near his waistline

and angled toward the urinal he was pissing in. I didn't think much of it. There was a recycled bin in the bathroom near the doors. So I just assumed he'd throw it away when he walked out. Then as he stepped away, I was shocked to see him going towards the sink for once. Instead of just rushing out of the door, I assumed he was finally going to wash his hands when I heard the water running. But as I finished and turned around, I was absolutely horrified to see Mr. Piss Hans was just

filling up the Gatorade bottled. He'd been holding near the urinal while he pissed. So he's drinking straight corporate sink water. Oh, my God. A little piss flavor in your water, just a little bit. You know, it's like lemon. You don't want to overdo it. That's horrible.

This is one of the worst things I've ever heard in my life. No, there wasn't a lid on it. He walked out, gulping down his own blowback piss, mixed with sink water. Now he's Mr. Piss tummy. Now that's the change. Leveled up. Dude, he's having some dick beer.

The thing that made it even worse was that the break room with the water and ice dispenser free cups of water. So you don't need to drink piss, sink piss. Okay, so fortunately for my sanity, my group was moved to another floor after this incident, and I never saw Mr. Pissands after that. But the legend lives on among the friends and co-workers I've told this true horror story too. I hope you're doing well. Thank you.

I am. How are you? And I appreciate all the laughs you've given me over the years. Scott in Overland Park, Kansas. Thank you, Scott. Wow. Well, Scott's at least doing better now because he's not on the same floor as Mr. Piss hands anymore. Yes, that is terrifying. I'd be hard pressed to even want to drink bathroom sink water.

Like, you know what I'm going to the kitchen for that. Yeah, no. Even if I know it's the same, it's all, you know, the Georgian stands, it's all pipes thing. But no, it's just no. No, because that, you know, ah, no, no, no, no, don't drink out of the bathroom. What's the matter with you? you. And the logic also from this Mr. Pissands is probably like

oh you know everybody's touching that water fountain. I can't use everybody's going to the water cooler. Nobody's the real smart guy and getting it from the bathroom like me. No. I mean that's if if you're in an airport like before before we got those nice little fillers that actually do

the work that you need them to do and refill your nice water bottle. I could imagine in a panic I have certainly maybe put like I need water for my fucking trip and I put a little of the sink in that for those situations only i don't know that i don't know that i don't know that i've ever needed water that badly in my life absolutely absolutely fucking not were you on your last fucking breath and you did that like because why else would you do that that's insane to me that's insane to me there's so many places

to get water yeah absolutely not i will say just to be clear uh and i'm not outing you this way andrew but you are the biggest germaphobe on the show i would think yeah of all of the four of us oh absolutely yeah yeah but like i mean i don't wash my hands but don't but don't fucking look me in the eye tell me that's not disgusting. Oh, no, it's absolutely disgusting. It's gross. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. I am, though.

I am Mr. Put the sleeve up to open the door, you know, closing things with my elbows and whatnot. Because, listen, people are fucking disgusting. Awful. Total piss people. Can't be argued. I mean, this dude's drinking his own splashback piss, man. Humanity is doomed.

You're like, oh, this is just one guy. I'm telling you, I was. would say about half the people you know in your personal life your mom your dad they're pissed people someone's a pissed person in your life right now and it's the piss people here's the problem with men the piss people and only speaking i can't speak to what what's going on in the latest who never never had the chance but when i like the sanctuary because the urinals are a social and uh hygienic disaster so i always run for the stall if there's a stall open when it close it yes i need to i have a centering, calming moment, and I do whatever I need to do in there.

Usually jerk off. But, but, no. No, it's like. But the, the psychopaths that piss all over the seat. The idea, it's, it's defiling a space, a safe space with your piss is what's what you're doing. You know what I mean? It's just like, take this. And maybe you're afraid to, maybe you're a germaprobe.

You're afraid to touch the lid. Yeah, just kick it. You got feet, man. I have lifted many a toilet lid with my feet. It's completely fine. Or maybe take a break and sit down and have a nice piss. I think get rid of the urinals, guys. Rip them all out.

Give me more stalls. Agreed. I completely fucking agree. The whole notion of a urinal is just a dumb, patriarchal fucking douchebag idea. Give me a little apartment to take a piss in in private when I'm at the movie. Because people always talk to me at those urinals. And I don't like that.

I just, I look at a little cabin. Honestly, like, if that was on the Republican platform, I would have a hard, it might flip me. Really? Even with everything else going on that I totally find morally repransible, I'd be like, shit, but that's what they're doing. Project 2025, more toilets. Well, I don't agree with their citizen murdering policy,

but I do agree with their no urinals policy. You know, that Steve Bannon has a few good ideas. Oh, you guys are, one of them was toilets. You guys ever notice this? I've seen this happening lately too. Okay. I'll be in line, right? You know, it's a big, big piss day in America.

I'm in line for the bathroom. There are guys that will not go to the stall. And now we just got guys waiting just for the urinal. So I'm in line. I see open stalls. No one's going forward. What are we doing, fellas? That's insane.

That's insane. Like, you don't need to leave that. It's not like an exclusive. you have to be in there for a number two. No, I'm not. No one's going to check to make sure you're doing a number two. Yeah. I mean, maybe in like North Carolina or something, but, you know, they love running the bathroom down there. But you know what I mean? Just like, it's okay to go in there. I've seen that same thing. The buildup, the traffic jam, it's like, guys, it's a toilet.

Let's just go. Yeah. Let's just go. All right, Chris Cabin. Who's up next here? I'll take this one. The dog night. to end all dog nights. Hey guys, last month's mailback episode featured a different Derek from Chicago blowing chunks in public and what the hell? Let's keep the gross times rolling

with mine because as Eric said last month, I love vomit. So you love piss and vomit. Well, look at that. That's last month. I like piss now. I'm no longer. Okay, you're changing up. That's good. Hey guys, maybe I'm using too many exclamation points in my email. What do you think?

Is that, what's the etiquette on that? Why the vomit? Wait, what? You want us to be clipy? You want us to do clipy content? Grammar police? That's what we're playing now? The Bell Air Direct app includes crash assist, which detects an accident the moment it happens, and even offers you emergency assistance at the tap of a button. Okay, but what if I don't have an accident? Well, just keep on, keeping on.

Bell Air Direct, insurance, simplified. Conditions apply. Give the people what they want, I say. preface the story by saying I am not proud of it. But years later acknowledge humor in it and that I have paid back my carmic debt for it many times over. In college,

my degenerate friends and I used to host a monthly rager on the full moon called Dog Night. Hell yeah. Dog, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dow. Dog, this sounds like the setup to a really bad horror movie, like just five guys. You guys come ready for dog night,

then maybe somebody turns into a werewolf or maybe totally somebody brought a woman to murder or something like that Steve dog night my new favorite holiday oh dude everyone's you had shots and swallowing bully bullets I thought it was going to be about an eating contest actually that was just me I thought it was like a hot dog oh we're just listen to three dog night oh or yeah three dog night every all the way through a whole a whole category you know all the filmography I mean the scene discography uh my in which we drink red dog beer and Mad Dog 2020. Oh my God, you do not have a liver anymore.

It's gone. This would be a yearly event if it was anything. I remember in college we did Dog Night. See you next March. That's it. It says in college, in college you guys were doing. God knows what. It's true.

Yeah, Eric is seen. I never walked into the forbidden cave of Mad Dog 2020 more than once. I tried it to know what it was. But going back to it is really, you are like, I want to die. I don't know that I've, what is it? A malt liquor? I don't think I've ever had it. It's like a wine thing.

It's like really, really cheap wine. It's disgusting. Oh, ew. I mean, I've had Red Dogg before. That's also bad. Yeah, Red Dogg's not great, but it is certainly much better than Mad Dog 2020. Anyway, this tradition came from the clerk named Smokey Joe. Hell yeah, Smokey Joe.

Fuck yeah. Come on now. At our shitty college liquor store who once told us to how at the moment. when we bought out the store's supply of red dogs on the full moon. Nice. Oh, yeah. We thought this was hilarious, and so the tradition was born. As most college traditions are born and similar ways, starting at the liquor store.

Right, at the liquor store right in the car, you know, got a little palo out there. As our college careers draw to a close, we decided to host the Dog Night to End All Dog Nights. Two days before graduation, this three-day bender lives on. to all who came through it as Sinfest 2011. Dude, you dated your sin fest which implies the possibility of more Sin Fest to come.

Don't do it. You don't want this to become a... You don't want to pass Mad Dog over to more people or younger people. God, you're going to corrupt them. Somebody at Shutter is like cramping their hand, writing. A dog likes a great idea. Oh, Sinfest. Oh, great, great, great, great, great, great. Oh, God, oh, God. Oh, Jesus. We purchased 90.

Yes, 90. 30 racks of of red dot, that is insane. And 90-30 racks? You had to go to multiple occasions to do that. There's no way you're doing it at one place. Unless you go to the distributor. But even so. There's no way Smokey Joe just had this in the back room.

No, there's no way. 90-30 racks, there's no way. And with a group of maybe 40 or 50 of us knocked it out in two and a half days or so. 90-30 racks would be 2,700 beers. I'm going to divide that by 50 and see what we're talking. here. That's 54 beers per gentleman or lady mostly gentlemen, I'm going to guess.

What did you say? In two days. Yeah, actually that kind of, you know, 24, 25. So, but three days, though? Well, they say two. Don't they? Okay, so then that would be 26 two and a half days. Two and a half. That's three days. That's 18 years a day.

That's reasonable. I don't know. I don't know. That's fine. I'm remembering our drinking days. We definitely had something like that. We were not above that. But this is like Mad Dog ale, first of all. It's not like rolling rock or some like watery lighter beer. Well, like extra gold is definitely in the red dog. And we, we drink a fucking shit ton of extra gold in our day for sure. I don't think I've ever had 18 beers in a day though. I'm just going to say that. You know, I'm looking at this. Mad dog. Just look at like 13 to 18% ABV. This is not where you want to be. Oh, what in the fuck? Because, like, yes, in the old drinking college days, you would, you'd have like the loaded bullet of the Molson Triple X.

That would be around. Yes. But primarily you're talking like your shit bush beer and your bud lights and your whatever. Yeah. So be easy drinking beers, what you like. Yeah. I would think, but no, mad dog. By the last night of Sinfess, most of our crew was out early.

In fact, the only two of us still going were me and my buddy Matt. By this point, the only alcohol. left in the house was a plastic jug of skull of skull vodka and nothing to mix with. That's right. It's for me. I'm the last one that stands.

I can get. But wait a second, though, is this skull? Because that S-K-O-L, isn't that the skull tobacco chew? Oh, that dip? Oh. Yes. The way that this email is spelled, I could be wrong, though. Is there an S-K-O-L vodka brand as well?

I don't know. Or is he thinking of Sky? I don't know. It's got to be. a bad brand. If your alcohol's coming in plastic Oh, it's real and it's horrible looking. No. Yeah, it's real.

So, by this point, and nothing to mix it with but a mysterious bottle of prune juice. Oh, come on now. This is now in the refrigerator. Nice, nice mixer. We've now reached like it's okay to stop drinking mode.

We did that days ago, my friend. You go ahead and try talking to a young alcoholic about that. They will drink anything. I remember the days. Such was our degeneracy at the time that he and I passed that shit back and forth until it was gone. Oh, God. The next morning, I had to take the red line from campus to downtown Chicago where I had my last shift as a student worker at the downtown campus. Hungover, possibly still drunk.

Definitely still miserable. I took the 40-minute train ride in a standing room only car and managed to get an aisle seat. As we approached an S-curve in the subway where the train notoriously slows to a crawl, my stomach lurched,

traitorously. I knew it would be a matter of time when I would vomit. Not if I would vomit. It then dawned on me what was about to happen. With a split second, left to decide.

The options were barf straight ahead where a woman... I love this. This is like Batman running around with the bomb. Yes. Oh, the birds. What am I going to do? Oh, God, my stomach. With a split second left to decide, the options were barf straight ahead

where a woman had long hair hanging over the back of her seat and would surely get puking her hair. Or turn into the aisle and hope for the best. I turned into the aisle and hope for the best, but it was worse. No. As I finish unleashing an unholy concoction, I realize I've done so onto a pair of

orthopedic shoes and look up to see a horrified old woman that I should have given my C2 in the first place. Nice. Sure. So not only would you let me sit down, you vomited upon me. Somebody killed this young man. He vomited on me. You know, back in my mind. You know, back in my day young men didn't puke on me on the bus oh are you flirting with me boy uh train rather as the train pulled into the next station i felt round two coming so i pushed my way out muttering my appellate get off our train oh my god and launching myself at a trash can to continue vomiting uh the doors closed and a full train of people are staring down

dagger is at me as it makes its way down the tunnel. They should have. They're right. I don't know what happened to her, but I think about her often. Sorry to someone's grandma. In all fairness, my carmic debt has been repaid many times over. I work at a university, and I have since been puked on by at least a dozen students. You know what that's good?

Good on you. That rocks. Thanks for making the hell safe that is living in 2026 tolerable and keeping some laughter in the mix with the horrors. Looking forward to see you guys at the Dent Theater in a few weeks in Chicago for big. Another Derek from Chicago. Thank you, Derek. And that was horrible. I have done, I have vomited in a lot of weird places. That has not been one of them. I sure have. You, you, you, I mean, you got lucky by just vomiting on a lady's feet instead of dying like Edgar Allan Poe. You know what I mean? Like, just the other option. Yeah, totally.

Like drinking yourself to death. Finding a bench in a park somewhere sitting on it and never waking up. And I don't think Edgar, even he would be like, prune juice, my dear boy. Just stop drinking.

Oh, the cask of, no, I have another mad dog down here in my cellar. Come join me. Rick him up. Quoth the Raven. Drink some more. Yes. Yeah, that's what the Raven tells me that a lot too.

This is a good opportunity to mention, yeah, the Den Theater in Chicago, we will see you there. Another Derek where we'll be talking about big 1988's big with Tom Hanks, where he becomes an adult male and then a woman takes advantage. It's like a power fantasy for her. Yes. So that is March 22nd in Chicago, Illinois. The Den Theater, like we said, tickets are available. WHMpodcast.com slash tour. And we should also mention

the more expensive seats at all these venues are meet and greet tickets. You can eat us afterwards. We'll hang out, you know, get a photo, talk. You tell me about your vomit or whatever. Sign some stuff. You know, all that good stuff. Here's the rule. We're going to be washing our hands

so you better be washing it. You know what I mean? That shit goes both ways. Absolutely. And March 20th in Minneapolis at the varsity theater, Cone of the Barbarian. comes to that as well. Please. Thank you. Yes. And I will be looking in Chicago specifically, I will be looking for both Derricks. I hope both Derricks are there. And I promise you, I will neither be sweaty, nor will I be

be vomiting on your shoe. I want wall-to-wall Derricks. How many Derricks can we get? Pack them in. Tell your Derricks to come out. I have a quick vomit story. I might have told this show before. I'm not sure. I believe Andrew was there. Could be. I had an issue in my like early, my teen through my early 20s of, and I might still have it today, but I just don't really smoke weed in the way that I used to, like a bowl kind of a situation. Right. Sometimes a bad, a bad hit or a too strong of a hit, you understand. Uh-huh. Yes. Would cause me to vomit. And I remember we, we got into, like, we were like freshmen, maybe sophomores. No, it was, it was our first year. I

remember the story. Clear as day. We got into the cool party. You know what I mean? It was the cool older boy's party. He was like a junior. He was like a campus legend at the time. By the way, translation, he was a total fucking piece of shit. Oh, of course he was. He was one of the worst people to ever go to that school. But at the time, it was like, oh, cool, if we make it in this party, we're going to go to the next party. And then who knows it's going to happen. And then he's like, hey, you guys want to smoke some weed. I'm like, wow, you're 21. Of course I do. And we go into this dude's closet. I believe it was a closet. They were doing it in.

Yeah, like closet or bedroom, bedroom size deal, close quarters at least. And everybody's all over to it. I believe there was at least one or two ladies present as well. Yep, made it even worse. Absolutely. And it just came to me and I, and it's just like I yacked everywhere. Oh, wait. It was after a very long, like coughing fit.

Yes. Mm-hmm. Like, it was a real like, is he okay? It was a lot of like, you all right, man? Yeah, yeah, totally. line. So that's like the warning, the warning siren to get away from you and then you exploded. Now, where did you go? Did you go on to anyone or did you go on a fruit?

I threw up in like an ashtray on a person as well, on you possibly. It was, again, clear as day. Someone gave you a beautiful, we've talked about these before. Those old like amber ashtrays and just like porridge out of his mouth. He just vomited into this ashtray, and I was like, this isn't good for our social standard. I will say, all people going to college currently are about to be in college. It is so important to know your friends or even just your acquaintances. When you can see the vomit about to come, you need to know what they look like when that happened. I once from across the room through a garbage bucket at like my friend, because I could see it coming.

and he immediately went right into his bucket. And it just helps everybody if you know that face. Yes. Know the signs. That's a good. Good point. Have a bucket in every room. You never know.

It didn't help. Yeah, no, that was the day I learned Steve's tell. We've been friends for like a month or two. And this is, I was like, okay, that's what this guy. All right, good to know. That's what he looks like when that's about to happen. And it's like imprinted in my brain. And also, Chris, the garbage can throw.

thing. If I remember this right, it was a bucket toss across the room, caught it, made the beer pong shot, vomited immediately after. I think it was also a smooth beer pong move. Athleticism on display. It was really, it was one of those like, that's not going to happen ever again.

He was a champ. All right, because Kevin, what do we got? Who's got the next one? Well, because this involves a cat. I'm going to give it to Stephen. All righty. Cat travel. Hey dudes. Love the show, et cetera, et cetera. They wrote, et cetera, et cetera.

I want to be clear. I was not, I would never skim past true. No, yada, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just listening to the Ninja episode, Ninja 2, Domination, which is a great episode. And hoping to get this in before the deadline. Our episode begin, our story begins. August 24. The time has come from me to depart dear old New York City to be nearer to family on the west coast.

Sartalusia. Seattle is a specific. specifically, being a working class millennial, my meager for possessions, fit neatly into a full-size rented SUV, due to my concerns about lodgings and visions of my cat disappearing into the South Dakota wilderness. Jesus. When we stopped taking a restroom break, I opted to leave my cat with my,

the cat with my old, the cat with my old roommates for a week while I drove the rental car to Seattle with my mom. I would then return via plane and retrieve my cat. This is an expensive situation. Seriously. Burning money here. The drive to Seattle went smoothly. No trouble.

My wife, my mom and I, not my wife, didn't want to murder each other after four days in the road. Retrieving my cat, however, became something of a farce. I made my first mistake while booking my flights. I was desperate to not have to spend the night in New York City. So I only gave myself three hours between landing at JFK and departing again. That's a mistake. Just right there.

Unless you're like in, unless you're like ozone park or wherever the fuck you know what I mean whatever residence is near JFK which there shouldn't be I yeah this is my skin's crawling I can't believe this okay if we must continue three hours due landing at JFK departing again I assume this

would give me 30 minutes to travel both ways I would still have at least an hour and a half before but that's before my return oh my god oh my god this is like watching though we were just talking about white noise too this is like when Nathan Philean's trying to yell at that homeless guy

in the train tracks to get out of the way. I can't, this is, it's terrifying. This is uncut gems level of, like, white knuckling it, I'm feeling. Just giving me so much second-head stress. Seriously. I was naive. I revived at the airport with approximately one hour to check in with a cat, which I've never done this before.

I imagine, Eric, has anyone traveled with a pet, like, at all? I have not, no. Not in anything but a car. Yeah. My wife has at a plane, and it was, fine. Orson, our oldest dog, is very small, so he fits fine in the plane.

He just goes under her seat and doesn't do anything. He's very well. We lucked out hugely, because otherwise I would not allow this. I don't want to be. But like, he's always been great about that stuff, and we lucked out huge on that. Okay, I arrived at the airport with probably one hour to check in with a cat.

Worse, the instant the doors closes behind me at JFKee, I realize left my phone in the Uber. Well, now the day is done. The day is done. You're not doing anything, but getting that fucking phone back. That's your day now is getting the phone back. Sorry.

I now have no boarding pass, no phone, and all of my support is 4,000 miles away. Yes. Add this to the weeks worth of stress that I am already feeling about the move. And I immediately begin to have a very public breakdown. 32-year-old man, for reference. I'm a 42-year-old man. I'd be crying on the fucking plastic. You got all that going on.

You need fucking Kevin Garnett to. cover the spread with the fucking you got to make sure the parlay goes through. You got Mike and the mad dog taking your bets or whatever it's going on. Why did you sell me the ticket if you knew I couldn't make it? Why'd you do that? Thankfully when people see a

grown man and his wit's sending an airport, they seem to want to help. I was kindly ushered to the front of the check-in line and soon my boarding had my boarding pass in hand. Shout out to the first airport employee I talked to who just said oh, I don't think you're going to make it Which I agree.

A lot of help, Sheila. Thanks a lot. The Bell Air Direct app includes crash assist, which detects an accident the moment it happens, and even offers you emergency assistance at the tap of a button. Okay, but what if I don't have an accident? Well, just keep on, keeping on. Bell Air Direct, insurance, simplified.

Conditions apply. I did, in parentheses, get fuck to that person, which is fair. I in line and security line TSA agent noticed me very obviously not having a good time and kindly escorted me to the front while I tearfully apologize to everyone This is a rough public appearance

I have to side buddy And what's the cat? Because I had the cat in the carrier I wasn't able to go through the usual screener scanner as I had to hold the cat Instead they swab your hands looking for explosive residue or something The nice lady did

My right hand then asked for the other in my state of delirium, I instead offered her one of my cat's paws. She looked at me with great pity, although you should be checking this cat's pause. Who knows what that guy's wings with? Cats, total explosives experts. Absolutely. Also, wait, so he's going through. She's doing his one hand, and he's, what, holding this cat?

Yeah, is there no carrier involved? How did the paw get offered? I think they had to take the cat out of the carrier. The carrier goes through and you look, you know, you do the scan. And you have hold the cat and they do the walk through with it. Jesus. One of my cats, boss, she looked to me with great pity and the most patient tone she could manage. She said, no, sweetie, your other hand.

Oh, boy. Yeah. Finally through this part of my ordeal, I have a whole 15 minutes to make my flight at Gate B99. That doesn't sound pretty close. That sounds like you have to walk to a different airport. Oh, you're not walking nowhere. That's run, run, Rudolph. That's you, you're looking at.

on that one. No shit. There's a game changer about to happen. I just read the next sentence. I jog through the entire terminal in flip-flop. What are you fucking doing? What are you fucking doing? Have you never flown before? What are we talking about?

What are you doing? It's like you woke up trying to make every bad decision possible. How could this fuck up more? Dear Lord, today when I travel with my cat, please let me fuck up at every possible turn. You know what? Why don't I just keep holding my driver's license in my hand and maybe it will fall out somewhere and that'll be nice. I looked at it and of course my mad dash to the airport has made my cat motion sick and he is, thank God there's vomiting the story. And he has vomited up all his anxiety medication inside the carrier. Oh no.

Nice. I grabbed the napkins from a flight attendant to get him cleaned up and make my way to the seat to discover. that only the small blessing of this trip, the middle seat is empty. That's... Oh, man. Four man's first class comes in and saves the day again, dude. Beautiful.

I... So I finally sit down the window and take, for the first time, and look outside for the first time since arriving at the airport, since arriving a catastrophic thunderstorm has begun. After I'm at dash to the airport,

I had time to watch Chicken Run and the beekeeper while we sat at the gate waiting for the weather to hold up. I managed to use my seat neighbor's phone to get in touch with my mom, so they were still able to meet me when I landed. What was then the worst day of my life so far now is a pretty good story to tell on first dates. Sure. Thanks again for all the laughs guys.

We did now more than ever. Much love, Ben. Thank you. Wow, Ben. I'm going to say, don't tell them this on first date. This just sounds like, hi, I'm a disaster. Now, everybody has a bad day, but let me just ask you this, Ben. The flip-flops were before everything, and that's the problem.

But in retrospect, after all of that, shouldn't you just driven the little fucker in the car with you? Come on now. Why not? There's not a lot of cat nappings. You don't hear about that too often. Honestly, dog napping is more normal in my experience and what I've heard. I will say that. There are hotels that take cats like extended stays and things like that.

You can actually go in there with a car. cat and I'm sure they're around the country so you could. Yeah, let them out. Most cheap hotels, you pay them like 20 bucks, they'll let you fucking, you bring a fucking elephant in there if you want to. Right. Yeah. Oh yeah. Elephants gonna be 40

extra. What are you doing with that elephant, Chris? Just keep it down in there. That's all I ask. A little tusk glove, nothing. Nothing crazy. A double feature of chicken run and the beekeeper and not too shabby. That's a fun. That's a fun little time.

there at the airport, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I've never had traveled my cat. Ideally, I never will have to. I mean, I guess if I ever move, like, cross-country or something, these guys are going to have to go someplace, but I don't think that's going to happen. Yeah, no, I, my dog would not do well on a plane. She's a very skittish, paranoid rescue dog

that would not have a second of being at an airport, let alone getting on a plane and flying somewhere. So that's never going to happen. Although I did get poor man's first class recently. The email did remind me of that. It was great too because it was after our ordeal getting back from Los Angeles. We got fucked over by that blizzard. We were on this red eye.

It was horrible. The whole thing. My like last connecting flight to get home, the last gasp of it, there's just this little DSB just sitting in this seat. Oh, no. And his mom's behind him, you see. And then so I'm on the window, DSB. And then a woman kind of like my age sitting on the aisle, right?

Puke on them. The mother, a dude, if this continued, I might have because the mother, dude, she's reaching her hand up between the seats to get this kid's attention. So it's like, no. To talk to him through the seat constantly. It's like almost touching you. Yep. Yeah. Not good.

So, and then thankfully, like the flight gods look down upon me and this other woman kindly that day. And the door closes. And the mother in her row turns out they had a poor man's first class situation going on. She makes the son leave the seat and come sit with her. Oh, good. Me and this lady were just riding the skies, dude. Nobody in the middle. You know, whoever the other person was in that was put into hell,

was directly deposited into hell. It was another family. So then it just became three across. We're all related to each other. That's fine. It was all right. Here's the thing. I understand, you know,

it's got to be tough to book a flight for a large family or a family of whatever. Yeah. I think legally you have to sit next to your child. I think that that is just legally how that's going to have to work. Because this happened to me before on a flight where like somebody, they asked me and then they asked somebody else because I said no. Like, oh, we book, but we couldn't get together. Could we move together?

And I'm like, I'm sorry, every quantum inch of this fucking plane is priced accordingly. And like, that's just how that works. You know what I mean? Like, thankfully somebody else, I wasn't in the awkward position. I would have folded the fucking piece of paper. I would have. I would, you stand your ground, dude. I'll open the door of the plane before I like that happened.

Every single thing has a monetary value. And like, yes, my seat cost this. Your seat cost that. I don't want to switch with you. It's certainly. Oh, oh, so it was a move to a different section of the plane entirely. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, sir.

No, no, no, no, for go, fuck your face immediately. No. No. Are you kidding me? I thought it was like, if it is a, if it's a one-to-one, like, you're in the same, you know, section of the plane and if it's the same kind of seat because I'm a big aisle guy. I like being on the aisle because I like get the fuck out of there once we're done, right? So if it's a one to one, it's an aisle seat, but it's like one back or one forward, fine.

But if it's a, my seat costs like $75 more than yours and you want me to move back because you can't sit with whatever. Nope, sorry. There's a society here and it has to be run accordingly. Absolutely. I'm also an aisle guy because I love. love piss. It gives me more chances to make it. Cultivate it. Uh-huh. Dr.

Dr. Dr. I got a whole time. I got a yellow thumb. I have heard you use the expression, keep them coming on more than one flight. I'll tell you that. Oh, of course.

All right, Chris Gavin, do we got another one here? This is you. This is me? Okay. Last one. How to speak to cops while drunk. Hi, gang, I just finished watching your latest mailbag episode And I was reminded of an epically drunken night in college

So we're drinking mad dog, you know, wait a second Stop At the start of my senior year The last of the friend group I was living with turn 21 We all drank underage, of course And this particular birthday friend had already established himself As the hardest drinker Hardest partying, wild man of the group

So his 21st birthday was an absolute shit show that landed on a Wednesday night. Oh, boy. Wow. This wild maniac guy is either like in jail or a father of three and just a wonderful person. You know what I mean? There's nowhere in the middle. There's nowhere in the middle. We went to a bar off campus about 7 p.m.

And drank continuously until the place kicked us out close to 2 a.m. Nice. We staggered outside and began calling local taxi companies, all of whom, turned us down because Wednesday wasn't a traditional party night in the area for students so they didn't have vans out that could fit us all separate cars fellas yeah split it up exactly right

you know we don't need to ride back together we all know where we're going to everyone a favor yeah yeah also I'm just kind of curious like timeline wise because are we like are we pre ride share apps or are we just in an area not really known for ride share apps It's just a curiosity, not a criticism.

Let's see here. So as people took turns calling, several people went behind the bar dumpster to piss. Yeah. Sick, dude. There you go. While one guy did, the birthday boy crept up to the other side of the dumpster and spat over the bin at the pisser.

L.O.L. I don't like you anymore. Yeah. In response, the pisser yelled back. Why would you do that to a jellyfish? A non-sequitur so amusing, it became a running joke in our crew. It's because his dick was peepy floppy cock. It was like a jelly. That makes sense.

Yeah. Or he's just like blackout drunk and doesn't even understand what he's saying. Maybe that. Could be that. As we stood in front of the bar trying to figure out what to do next, the birthday boy demanded we have a wrestling turn. on the small strip of grass behind the bar parking lot

and the highway. Wow. Now it's going to get homererotic. Hell yeah. A little bit. Everything about this is like I wouldn't hang out with this kid but that sounds great. Oh, dude, get ready. More reasons to not hang out with this person. To intimidate his opponents he dropped his pants

at the start of each match to charge boxers first at whoever was opposite him. Sounds sexy. I don't have friends that are good enough where I would allow this. I love all you guys, but just no, this is not happening. No, no parking lot wrestling. This is what smoking is for.

When we finally accepted that we wouldn't get a taxi and had to get back some other way, we resolved to walk the two-ish miles home along the highway. Sounds dangerous. Much stumbling followed, and several times along the way the birthday boy whipped it out. What? And pissed all over the brick median we were using in place. of a sidewalk. Wow. Wow. It was just whipping it out. That is for two miles, dude. That's a long two miles. I do not have the confidence just to whip it out, willy-nilly. No. So a dude whip it out not more than two

days ago, as a matter of that. Really? What was he whipping it out for? Dude, I'm walking the dog. This is, it's like 1130 at night, just walking the dog, you know, and we're literally like on a busy intersection. There's a 24-hour a laundromat right here that's like still wide open for business. This drunk dude just fucking stops in front of the laundromat, whips it out and just starts fucking pissing. And I just

Another night in Mandani's stand, huh? I just yelled out like something like, oh well that's real fantastic. And like the dog didn't know what was going on. And I was like, no, we have to go. We have to go. No, trick it. Don't do, do, do, da, blah, blah.

Just right there just whipped his fucking dirty dick out dude right in front of me. Nothing shows the degradation of society so much as the inability for people to look for dumpsters and garbage cans to kind of alleyways. There's no alleyways anymore. Something. Cover yourself.

Just twixt some cars. Yeah. Just. Easy peasy. But I think I kind of spooked him though because when I sort of yelled like real fucking nice or whatever, he kind of like zipped it up. And then when I turned he was like drunkenly stumbling through the crosswalk to the other side of the street. So maybe he was

finishing the job on the other side. I don't know. It'd be great if he drunkenly stumbled in front of a bus and died. And I was like, you had to like live with that now. You're like, but I was right to chess. Oh, man. It wouldn't take as long to recover as you might think, Steve. When we finally accepted that he wouldn't get a taxi and had to get back home.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In his drunken state, he let it rip everywhere without slowing his steps. and he had some difficulty getting himself back into his pants every time he finished. How many pisses are we taken? Nice. It also sounds like God might have blessed this man with a large one and really like just when you're in that state just trying to get it, you know, a soft, a soft long one back into its own age. That's that stuff.

A nice soft long one. I would appreciate some more to the story. Tell me about his penis. please. Yeah, cut her. Was he cut or what? A number one. A number one. I think Chris is right there. I think it's like a Ziggy Sabatka situation. It's just a huge like fire hose.

Give me a second, guys. I'm gathering myself. Oh, sorry, I'm delaying our walk. I have to put my huge penis back in my pants. You see. I got to get a fork and twirl it like pasta to get it back in. You got to be careful. That's a real fucking

Python, Eric, I have to say. within sight of campus, we passed an abandoned mental asylum that was the popular break-in and explore spot for students. Hey, you guys want to go to Silent Hill? It's right over there. Who would have guessed?

Guess who's getting pissed on next? Silent Hill Sanatorium here. A passing cop car hit us with his spotlight and crossed into the opposite direction lane to see what we were up to. See, now here comes. the cops ruining this fun night public urination and

indecent exposure. The shit hammered birthday boy straightened right up and said I'm so sorry officer we're out for my birthday at the bar we just wanted to get home but none of the taxi companies would send a van for us so we had to walk. We're all good. We just live up ahead in the dorms.

That satisfied the cop and drove off wishing my friend a happy birthday. Wow! Four stars dude. Well done. As we collectively sighed in relief, my birthday friend looked down and shrieked in realization, I just talked to the cop with my junk hanging out. Nice.

Maybe that's what really sealed the deal. The cops like, well, all right, Mr. Big Dick, talk to you later. That's just impressive, young man. That's just an impressive thing you got there. You're clearly too well hung for a ticket. Can I take a picture just for my wife, real quick? A few minutes later, we passed the campus McDonald's. where we spotted nearly all the taxi company vans parked.

Infuriated, they were out but refused to come for us. My birthday friend went to each one and rubbed his balls on every driver door. That is hurting you more than him. Yes. Yes. It's cold. After that, dirty. Yeah.

Not good. After that, we got pizza and laughing in our dorm about what a crazy night it was. Thanks for all the laughs. Russ in Brooklyn. My God. That was disgusting, Russ. Thank you. Russ, just for our, do you have, is compared to the birthday boy, you, you,

you pack in that heat, packing something like that fella. Packing that. Yes, right back, let us know on the Orlando Blumometer where he is. Yes. Full bloom or not. I got a hammer. Oh, yeah. We examined.

We did a podcast on one of the Lord of the Rings. I believe we were all looking at Orlando Lou, Orlando Bloom's leaked. penis. Yes. And we were having a good, a good, a good laugh about that. Uh, yeah, I do like the Lenny Kravitz. Like, it's such a python. It breaks through your pants. Oh, yeah. Totally.

Happens to be all the time. You got to give up certain leather pants when you got something like that. Yeah, totally. It's just not a match. Yeah. Like, oh, darn, I can't wear leather pants due to my huge penis. What a fucking, what a problematic life. Uh, but yeah, That's all the letters fit to read this afternoon, my friends. But yes, again, February, March, March, the 19th, y'all,

we are going to be doing a really cool thing in conjunction with the Timberwolves organization out in Minneapolis. We're going to be doing a free screening invite only of an American werewolf in London. It's going to be a lot of fun. Go to that website right there, timberwolves.com slash WHM. Today is the last day you have to register for their WolfsWire email newsletter. That is how they are determining, you know, who gets tickets, the ticket offer, whatever. So you want to make sure they're on their, you're on their email list for that. And then, yes.

And a reminder, we have no control over it after that fact. Nope. We can't, don't email us. I have no idea how to fix anything. Nope. Just do your best. Sign up on that website today. You're absolutely right, Steve.

In the very next night, March the 20th, we're going to be making our debut in Minneapolis proper doing a show at the varsity theater talking all about the excellent Conan. the Barbarian from 1982 Arnold looking fucking delicious in that movie that is for sure dude and then two nights later the 22nd of March we are going to be at the Den Theater first time ever

we've played the Den Theater in the great city of Chicago making a return to the Windy City to talk about Tom Hanks and Big the 1988 sex tourism film as Eric refers to it and he's not off base entirely but all those tickets are available on our website

website, WHMpodcast.com slash tour for those two shows. And like we said, timberwolves.com slash WHM to get on the mailing list for WolvesWire to then get the email about this ticket offer. And as Steve said, we will reiterate once again, do not ask us any questions about it because the information we gave you is all the information we have about it. That's right. Take it up with the NBA. That's what I always say.

That's right. Every chance we get we say that. But that is going to do it for this afternoon mail. Thanks so much for tuning in live or catching the replay after the fact. And until next time, I've been Andrew Juppin. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin.

Have a good afternoon, y'all. Bye-bye. Piss. I love piss. I love piss.