We Hate Movies - S17 Ep888: The Frighteners (1996)

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

“I’ve seen this movie dozens of times” - AndrewOn this week’s episode, we’re kicking off the 2026 Halloween Spooktacular in grand fashion as we go long on Peter Jackson’s super-fun, paranormal comedy, The Frighteners!Should they have tried to nail down a set of ghost rules for our spooky characters? Couldn’t Universal have waited and released this banger in October, instead of the summer, especially when Peter Jackson & Co. hadn’t finished the special effects?! How fantastic is Michael J. Fox leading this movie? Should the studio have let Jackson go even wilder with the horror elements? Is this movie, fun as it is, possibly overstuffed? Are there many things more spooktacular than Jake Busey’s terrifying, vacant stare? And who wants to make a rezzy and grab dinner at Excalibur’s? PLUS: A Spooktacular round of the VHS Trailer Game! The Frighteners stars Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Peter Dobson, Jeffrey Combs, Dee Wallace, John Astin, Chi McBride, Jim Fife, Troy Evans, Julianna McCarthy, R. Lee Ermey, Elizabeth Hawthorne, and Jake Busey as Johnny Bartlett; directed by Peter Jackson.This episode is brought to you by Storyblocks! Head to Storyblocks Dot Com slash WHM to access the human-made stock media library that’s essential to our workflow. For a limited time, Storyblocks is offering 15% off any annual plan, and that discount is only available through our link. Again, that’s Storyblocks Dot Com slash WHM for 15% off annual plans. Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

This week on the program, the sticky ectoplasms flinging all over the places. We're chatting about Peter Jackson's The Frighteners. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. My body's a roadmap of pain, Eric Siska, Chris Starkweather. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween.

I guess everyone's the title of one good scare. That is better. I'm to keep your appointment with the Wickham Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. Because you've seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos for creative.

Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hey Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program, as always. As you heard from that banger theme song that's going, I should say, 13 spooktaculars long now. Whoa, that's unlucky. Yes. It's the lucky. It's the 13th year because I created that theme song in 2013, baby. And now we're carving a 13 into.

Michael J. Fox's wife, Deborah's forehead. Deborah, the fake wife in this movie. Debra. That's right. Peter Jackson's The Frighteners from 1996, released July 19th, 1996. Way to go, Universal Studios. Pretty big mystic. Yeah, where it grossed $16.6 million. Yeah. Wow. That's a big bomb. Well, yeah, I mean, this is a, come on, this is a Halloween movie. What are you doing? It's a summer. What are you doing?

here, guys. But before we get too excited, I want to hit play real quick. Oh, gosh. Coming soon to theaters. There it is. Oh, yes, man. I had no idea this was in store for me today. Yeah, grab your dick, dude.

It's really going to happen. Let me find it. Wait, that's not it. Let me give you a hand here. Oh, yeah, please. Thank you, Andrews. It is the VHS trailer game, America's favorite game. about obsolete materials.

I am your Jemaster Steven Sadek, and these are three gentlemen who are going to do their best to beat me at my own game. It is a game that Bruce Stern once called. It's a game that four simpletons can play at one time. Exactly. We're going to muddle our way through it as best we can,

even though Melrose plays Star, Thomas Calabros also said... Probably have gas issues. I mean, we do our best with the gas issues. You know what I mean? That's what editing a podcast is for. By the way, Sorry, I don't have a prescription pad like certain Dr. Mancini.

Just stop eating so much cured meat, bagel. Less spice. You know, it's fine. So this is round two or game number two of the season sweet 17 or whatever the fuck 17 we're going to call it. This is all the Frightner's VHS. Currently, the game is tied at eight points. All three of you gentlemen have eight points. Wow.

What if we all had a pact right now? We ended it now as a team. eight points each. That's the only way to beat me. The only winning move is not to play. Yeah, I stood up to you. That's the test. Professor Jame Master.

All right. So 1996, the Frighteners. We got two rounds and a bonus game. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay. Round one. All right.

Game Master's Clue. Okay. A legendary actor voiced the hulking and not great-looking character as the co-leaded this Medieval fantasy. Chris Cabin. Is it Dragon Heart? It is Dragon Heart for five big points.

Oh, sure. Previous episode. Right. Yeah, yeah. The Dragon, right, yeah. Voice by Sean Connery. Also, the lady in that movie is a new, new 902 and O. What do you call it there?

Dina Meyer. Dean Meyer is the heart throb. Whoa, really? Okay. Bad, like British accent. Like, I love the, fake medieval accent that people have, hello there.

I'm someone around dragons. That's how they talked back then. When I read the Gutenberg Bible, that's the voice I read it. Yes. Okay. Round two. Okay.

Somebody thought it was a good idea to give this snarky SNL alum turned talk show host his own horror movie. Yikes. Andrew Jubin. Bordello of Blood. Yes.

Tales of the Crypt. Bordello of I was about to ring in with nothing but trouble, but I realized that's earlier in the timeline. Yes. Yes. Right. 1990. Mm-hmm.

All right. So now, as it is the spook tackle, I want you all to come around the campfire with me as we tell this is bad. Come on, guys. We're not doing that together. No, come on. Gather around. Okay, I'll do that. As we tell some ghost stories, huh?

Oh, really? This is scary. So this, the way this game is, it's three points of pop. There's only, we're not doing like second buzz-ins. Or, you know, you could buzz it. If somebody gets it wrong, somebody could buzz in after that, but there's no, like, second, whatever. It's just basically the way that's going to work is I am going to give you the year and read the very first sentence of the Wikipedia plot summary. And based upon that, you're either going to get it or you're not going to get it.

Are these directed at a player or is this racing to buzz in? Racing to buzz in. Everybody plays. There's ten of these. Okay. Ten? Okay. Ten.

Yeah. That's where we're going to move fast, buddy. All right. All right. Round one or, yeah, whatever. I love that you're realizing you don't want to count to ten. Yeah, fine. Round one, we'll call it.

From 1980. Ooh. And I'll read this in Ghost Story Voice. John Russell, a composer from New York City, is vacationing. That's the Changeling. That is the Changeling. Oh, nice. Vacation is wife and daughter upstate when a car gets stuck in the snow.

Oh, no. All right. 19 John Russell Sorry 1990 Banker Sam Wheat and his girlfriend Molly Jensen moved into a Tribeca loft

With the help of Sam's best friend And Billwork for Andrewman Ghost It is ghost That's five Yes I'm sorry it's three points each I'm telling this to Felipe

Who actually keeps score Thank you Felipe Molly you in danger girl Mm-hmm Okay From 1999 Eleanor Nell Vance's An Insomniac

has cared for her disabled mother for 11 years Eric Siska A haunting or The Haunting? It is The Haunting Nice. Love that for you. That's good.

Sorry, yes, the haunting. What is the haunting? All right, 1999. Tom Witsky is a phone lineman living in working class neighborhood in Chicago with his pregnant wife, Maggie, his son Jake, and his son Jake,

who possesses the ability, ability to communicate with the dead, although neither Tom or Maggie or are aware of it yet. Uh, anybody? I'll read it again. Tom Witsky, a phone lineman living in a working class Chicago. A phone lineman? Is that where you're saying? So, like crawling up the pole?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Living in working class neighborhood in Chicago with his pregnant wife, Maggie, and his son, Jake, who possesses the ability to communicate with the dead, even though neither Tom nor Maggie know about it yet, 1999. 99. 99. Now, if, yeah, okay.

Hmm. Is there a, can we get the second sentence? Is that a punt? No, that's, Andrew Gibbon. Oh, now I think I'm wrong. It's not the six cents. It is not the six cents. It's a movie that's very similar to it. I was going to buzz in with that earlier, but I was like, he wasn't a phone line man. No, no. All right. So that's it. We're all going to punt. It is stir of echoes. Yes. Oh, the Kevin Bacon movie. I never saw it, actually. Actually, I'm pretty good. I remember it pretty good. Put it on your list. for spooky season. Oh, okay.

It is, yeah. Might be kept. I keep, by the way, the way I wrote these was like the title and then the year and I keep wanting to say and the next one,

yeah, I just do that. Yeah. Okay. So here we go. From the year 2000. 2000. Okay.

Former cellist, Claire Spencer and her husband, Norman, a scientist and professor, live at their lakeside home in Vermont. Whoa.

Eric Sisk. Is it what lies beneath? It is what lies beneath for three more big points. Nice. Okay, here we go. 2001. In 1945, Grace Stewart resides in a remote country house in Jersey, a Channel Island, formerly occupied by the Germans. 2001, in 1935, that are... Shutter Island?

It is not Shutter Island. Sorry. I always feel like I'm disappointing the J-Misterner. In 1945, Grace Stewart resides in a remote country house in Jersey, a channel island formerly occupied by the... The Germans. The Germans. Period horror from 2001. It's a ghost story.

Andrew Jupin? The others? It is the others. Oh, there's points. Jesus, dude, gunned in my head, Andrew, did the others take place in fucking New Jersey? No way. Well, no, it's in Jersey, a Channel Island.

Oh. The Germans didn't occupy New Jersey. I don't believe. That's what I was a little confused by. I, dude, I didn't know what the fuck was going on with the rest of that sentence. I just thought they beat the pilgrims here when I answered. All right, here we go. Yeah, this is our Channel Island gets you fuck off, ghost.

Yes, Tony Soprano. We claim him. Okay. Also, you know what? There shouldn't be two jerseys. I agree. Well, there's a new jersey. I think this is one.

I get, yeah, yeah, you should have said old jersey. Okay. Apologies. Suprasat. Bruch Springsteen. Okay. From 2002. Sure.

on May 21st, 1962, off the Labrador coast, passengers aboard an Italian ocean liner, the MS. Garza, Graza, rather, Chris? Is that ghost ship? It's go ship. Of course. It's ghost ship. Man, I almost said it.

I wasn't sure. I just watched that for the first time, like, a month ago. How was that? It's not good, but the cold, listen, the cold opening of this movie is one of the greatest things you'll ever see in your life. It's gorgeous. It's fucking, It is the most brutal, like, mass death thing.

With a bit of a King Ralph vibe, honestly. That's the whole, like, if the plane went, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box? Why don't they make the whole movie, the opener? Okay. 2005, three more to go. Dalia battles her ex-husband, Kyle, on shared custody conditions of their five-year-old daughter, Cece.

Kyle wants Cece to live closer to his apartment in Jersey City, where the nearby school and rents are affordable. year again 2005 Dalio battles her ex-husband Kyle Andrew Jubin Shotla dark here Dark water

It is dark water Yes Nice Jennifer Connolly remake Yeah Here we go 2007 Katie drives up to a house

In San Diego As her boyfriend And housemate Micah records from the driveway Using his new video camera Kitty drives up to a house in San Diego, Andrew Jubin. Paranormal activity?

Paranormal activity. Look at this. That's a movie franchise I keep forgetting happened. Yeah, me too. That's a lot of them. I saw like the first three and checked out. And the last one here.

Okay. In Crichton-Grifford Village. What's the year here? 2012, sorry. In Crythed Grifford Village. Okay. You got a zip code on that? in 1889

three young girls playing in their nursery notice a presence in the room hypnotized and entranced they jump to their debts from the window in cryth and griffitt village in 1889 three young girls playing in their nursery notice a presence in the room hypnotized it in trance they jump from their debts

jump to their debts from the window I don't know if anyone's seen this one as kind of haunting in Connecticut it is not a haunting in Connecticut in Cryth and Grifford in Crichton Griffin. Pardon me? Yeah, exactly. Crichton Almighty, this name. 1889, three girls playing in their nursery, notice of presence in the room, hypnotized it in a trance, they jumped to their debts from the window. From 2012?

From 2012. All right, I'll just say, was there a Omen remake at that year? No, it's not. It was the woman in black. What's that, Daniel Craig movie? It's a Daniel. Radcliffe, I meant. You gotta get smaller than that. It's not fair. Less buff.

Lesser than that. There you go. The OG woman in black is really good. The Daniel Radcliffe one I wasn't crazy about. Yeah, I remember that poster and skipping by it repeatedly. I guess the town name should acclude me that it was a British guy starring. Oh, fuck off him. Exactly.

That's it. So there we go. There it is. Look at that. Spectacular edition of the VHS trailer game, dude. Good shit. Spine tingling. I think. Oh yeah, I definitely felt tingled.

Not as spine tingling, the frighteners. I'll get out in front here and say this is a movie I've seen dozens of times on VHS. Surprised I didn't remember every single one of the trailers from that tape, Steve, because we did watch this a lot. That's my history of it. I saw it twice in theaters because I was so taken with it. And then I did have the VHS, which you. You were right in the chat, Andrew. It had the face on the cover change.

The lenticular cover. Yeah. I thought so. Yes, that did happen. I really, really love this movie. I have a very warm spot in my heart for this one. Yeah, I saw this in the theater. I loved it at the time.

I've loved it for years. I feel like I've soured on it a little more lately just because I know what's funny, Andrew, I was reading from your old pal there, Janet Maslin in the New York Times when she reviewed this, said she walked out with mixed emotions that Peter Jackson deserves more enthusiasm for the expert imaginative effects than the live actors, which I don't necessarily agree with. But the point was trying to make here is the frightners is not immune to overkill. Yeah.

Even though most of its characters are already dead. Yeah. So I really like, I used to love the screenplay for this. I love how it all comes together when you get Milton Damers of the FBI in the sanitarium at the end. All these stories like coming together in the end. I used to really enjoy this from a screenwriter. perspective. Now I feel like if it was 10 minutes shorter, this would be like a five star

bangor for me. That's the thing is I think Jackson is one of the few guys. I'm okay with overkill with him. I say if you're going to do if I'm going to have a sandwich with the fucking mayonnaise and the mustard dripping off the sides and the fucking olive juice like getting all over my hands, I'll allow it for Jackson. He's the one who I want to do it that way. So I kind of allow this movie. There's definitely issues with it, which is why it's on this feed. but it is a movie that I kind of allow all of its problems without a problem. This is my first and only time watching it last night for this very program. I can see what you guys like about it.

I don't hate it, but I'm just kind of right in the middle. I like Jackson. I think he's a great craftsman and I think that there's really well-crafted bits in here. I think there's really well-crafted story bits in here as well. But I do agree with the great Jan Maslin edited. It's very overcrowded. And I think a lot of the time, I'm like, now we're going to the sanitary. Why do we go there five minutes?

Right, right, right. There's like too many beats towards the end where I'm like, right. Not exactly like on board. Steve, now you're never, you're not huge on like horror comedy. Is that right? No, I mean, I love a shot of the dead. I love. Oh, okay.

But you're also not very big on comedy movies, right? I hate to laugh. Famously very serious. He doesn't like you enjoy himself in general. Steve, I'm genuinely curious, though. like because this was it was like a bigger on video movie for sure I'm just curious how the SADC household passed this one by was it a thing of this might be too spooky for Steve I think yeah I think as

kids we just didn't watch a ton of actual full-on horror movies you know what I mean I think that's why it didn't get into my face and also this came out in the summer hilariously up against like independent stay and stuff and therefore crazy nonsense you know people have other stuff to watch like time cop you know I mean, I'm too much watching time copy. At the time, the reviews obviously, like, were mixed, like I was quoting before, but, like, I feel like some of the thing was like people are like, and this is because they hired Danny Elfman really more than anything, that it's like a Tim Burton clone. But I still like it. Any movie that had like visual imagination, any blockbuster that had visual imagination, they said was Burton cloning at the time.

Like essentially until 2002. It's also creepy little guys. And I like that. I mean, I like all that stuff. And Jackson has had style like this beforehand. It's not like he just copped it straight off of Bert. No. Yeah. There's plenty of brain dead stuff in here. I will say though, with the cold, my cold dead eyes in 2026, watching these effects for the first time, it's hard to be very forgiving. It's kind of the problem. Well, it was hard to be forgiving in the 90s, dude, because reading up on the movie, like Peter Jackson didn't get to finish the effects. No. They wanted it to be a fucking Halloween movie. like it should have. And like, you know, apocryphal, whatever, IMDB, the producers at Universal

loved it so much, they rushed it out. And like he never got a chance to finish him. And I'm going back and looking at some of it. And it's like in the third act, when we're, when we're fighting the Busey Reaper, there's some of that shit that does look straight up Nintendo 64 terrible. The, the big given this, at least for me, is that they never nail down exactly what the rules are for the life and death of these ghosts. It's kind of just free flowing. Whatever fucking works for the story we're going to do. Because by the time Jake Busey has gone from being the death guy to being the slop monster back into his normal ghost self,

like I'm just like, that's too many. The slot monster didn't have to happen. I don't know why the slot monster happened. And then at the end, Shy McBride's like express trade to hell. And I'm like, did you call that? Was that something like, was that something like? Is there a ritual that I missed that got the expression? They have an understanding.

Okay. It's like a security system, dude. When a bad soul's getting too close, a fucking alarm goes off. Also, I mean, who gives a shit? Like, it's a fucking ghost house comedy. Like, I'm, you know, I get it. Yeah, it's inconsistent about like what happens to these ghosts. But like, in the grand scheme of this like slapstick comedy with spook house stuff in it, like, honestly, I couldn't care less.

I think Andrew's right about this tunnel, the vortex where it's like, yes, you're just a bad soul. so it won't take you to heaven. Proximity alert. But I would love the idea for Shy McBride to judge all of us before we get there. Dude, totally. I just get like,

you know, judged by like some big sideburn pipe hitting motherfucker and a cool velour suit smoking a cigar. You could do it up and judge one and just make a call and I think that's fine. This week's episode is brought to you by StoryBlocks.

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I would appreciate Shai McBride to be in his Boston public persona, a little more regal, a little more, you know. He's very fun of this movie. I really like him as Cyrus, the 1970s guy. I was just talking about what's he been up to. Yeah, he's like doing TV and stuff. Mostly TV. He's a show up on TV. Yeah, I like that. He had a run on the house back in the day that was pretty good.

He butted heads with house, which was nice. So, you know, we start here in a nice little cold open on a dark and stormy night, a big old scary house. It's funny, I was in my, the first of my notes, because when it just starts, the tinkly organ that Danny Elfman is fooling around with, it feels so Tales from the Crip, which obviously hilarious as this was supposed to be, or this was initially thought of as a Tales from the Cript movie, and then they made its own thing. And also like we're swooping in on a big creepy mansion with this tinkly organ.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, you're totally waiting for it. Going through the window into the rat hole. Yes, it's a great camera movement. Should say yes,

it was a Tales from the Crip script that Tales from the Crypt executive producer, Robert Zemeckis was like, nope, we see a feature here, you know, expanded out, Peter Jackson. And they did so,

which is nice. I mean, like, I don't know why, though, if it is in fact, a Tales from the Crypt script. Why don't we slap

Tales from the Crypt presents the frighteners on it? Because then it would be the best fucking Tales from the Crypt movie. That's for sure. It probably would have drawn more at the box office with the name recognition. Yeah, big time. And the lack of Dennis Miller.

That also would have helped. But yeah, so there's this old lady yelling, no, no, no, she's too young, crazy line here. It took me 12 minutes. Yes, it's starring March. McDy-Dy from the back to the screecher movies. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, there it is.

McDy-Dy. Very clever, sir. Very good. Marty McDy-Dye. I got a team of writers back here. They're doing their best. They're slow. If you dressed up in like a flannel shirt, a red vest, jeans, and a skateboard,

and then you put zombie makeup on, you could go as Marty McDyye for Halloween. Yes. Everyone loves a Halloween costume. You have to explain. from all the way in the back as C's microphone you hear maybe if you fed us more

Bob but yeah we do see there's this a younger woman who's actually D. Wallace in a nice dyed wig to make her look a little younger than she was I think but the great D. Wallace running around there's a fucking wallpaper ghost trying to get her here

very scary and like this this CGI I think is okay I'll give them this the wallpaper carpet which I guess is Jake Busey's ghost hiding behind the wallpaper. I think it's creepy. I think it's cool. I like because you know you get you get that classic like white sheet kind of ghost, but it's got those fun prints on it.

A lot of the CGI, especially mixed with the Spookhouse stuff, felt very Casper to me. Yes. The 1995 Casper. Yeah, I totally see that because it is, I mean, Jackson is very smart to do like to understand, right? And he's kind of always understood this. Like the CGI stuff, like he's really trying to push it as much as he can.

But he acknowledges there's a land. limitation to all of it. And, you know, these sets are not without their own practical effects. Like, you know, in the first fake, you know, haunting or whatever that, uh, you know, Michael J. Fox's character is perpetrating on these people. Like, you've got real plates going all over the place and appliances going and stuff. And I think that's sort of the sin of the movie or the, of the studio, certainly not Jackson, but like the fact that they didn't let him finish it, this movie knowing it's an effect movie sometimes lets you stand back and be like, and here it comes, baby. And it ain't that great.

And that's kind of the problem. You know what I mean? Like sometimes if it's just sort of merged in the effects just have to get you to the next scene, you might not pay as much attention to it. But Jackson was sure when he was filming it that the effects would, the effects would be a draw and sometimes it don't work. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's, you know, knowing though that like it was unfinished. I guess that's why I do give it leniency though. Because it's like this wasn't the dude's vision. And even like when he did that director's cut, there was no money to actually finish the effect. So it's like it's a huge whatever. But we get. The opening credits, basically the old lady shoots the carpet goes, and that's the end of the cold open.

We get the credits rolling over a funeral possession, and we're seeing newspaper stuff and hearing things about this mystery heart condition that's striking this little town, the shadow of death descended on our town kind of stuff. Fairwater is the name of the place. It's the journalist. It's being hung over by Magda. The editor is reading over a piece by Steve, who will die later. They die right in a row, actually. Yes. But, and she's going over his piece like, oh, Steve, you don't really think death is one person, do you?

No, no, no. Death is a grand beast. With hair and thorns on its back. This lady is a fucking character that would have been invited to the dinner party at the end of Beetlejuice. Like that's like this sort of cartoonish level that she's going for here. And he's writing stuff like, The Grim Reaper has once again returned to the quiet streets of Fairwater. And she's like, no more references to death as a person if we can help it. I mean, she's just trying to be professional here.

I mean, you can't be right. You can't be right tales from the crypt in the newspaper. That's fair. She's trying to run a legitimate journalistic outfit here. It's definitely not this section. You put it in the back where all that stuff goes. Yeah, no front page news here, please. And we are doing New Zealand for America.

And Steve, you can tell he's holding back this Kiwi accent as best he can. head. Yeah, but I will say I think New Zealand doubles better here than it did an evil dead rise when they're trying to make a town like this look like Los Angeles is just a non-starter. But I could see this as maybe something like outside Seattle. Yeah, because you're seeing the outside and it's the real outside where in Evil Dead Rise you were not ever. Yeah, it's CGI. It's all city nonsense. Like this is like actually using the outside. But also an Evil Dead Rise. We don't have to get into Evil Dead Rise. Go to our Patreon. in that episode. You'll hear my thoughts there.

Yes. We are introduced to the great, the absolute fucking goat, Michael J. Fox, as Frank Bannister here, doing, you know, one of the fucking trashiest things possible, getting a fucking fight at a funeral, dude. Like, this is just it is trash city, and of course he's trying

to, you know, do his pedal his wares here as this psychic investigator. The body's not even called. You're walking up handed business cards. I talk to ghosts. He is shooed away like a stray dog by this one dude we don't actually like the cameras away

from him we kind of just sort of see him try to do that guys get get get you get out of here Frank Bannister nobody wants you at this funeral and this is something I'm confused it's first time only is he drunk is that why he gets into this accident or is it like a defending your life I dropped something

and I'm not looking down I think I think it's the second one because you see like the business cards spill all over the seat but he has just swerving to begin with it It's some crazy driving here. You're right in the sense that they do have the flashback where shows that he was supposedly drunk driving when his wife died or whatever. But there's no there's no evidence that he's got like a bottle in this car.

But you're right. He is all over the fucking windy-ass road here. I think it's okay to assume he wants to die. He's looking for a way out that's easy. So if he drives all around the place and accidentally, I mean, he goes through fucking Ray's fence real quick, that goes into the fucking house quick enough. dead he's gone that's true yeah he should have really floored it dude if he wanted it he should have done it but yes he does slam through a white picket fence onto this lawn and this dude ray comes out this is the actor peter dobson who we all know from playing young elvis and forest gump

yes yes and he's apparently gone on to play elvis impersonators and other things over the years which you know elvis joke in this when he's got an elvis statue that ends up floating around and there's the whole gag he's alive i think he's really funny in this. I thought this guy really nailed it. And it's a small character that otherwise I think would just be remembered for the for the gags. And like he actually

digs in. He does something here with this. There's some good stuff here. I was misremembering this as being played by Mad TV's Craig Bierco. I can see that. Yeah, he's definitely a Craig Bierco type. Totally. That's not just good night you're thinking of. Or he's also in sour grapes.

Craig. We're not going to talk what's Craig Beercke. No, we're not going to go to our Patreon to here. That's Craig Beercco. No, we don't have any content there either. I don't know about that. It's interesting, the Linsky bit of it. I guess it's just a nod because he worked with her. And she's also in this movie for like four seconds without any dialogue.

That's what makes it weird. She's an extra in the police station at one point. After having co-starred in the dude's previous movie, which is very funny. Melanie Linsky, obviously, the great Melanie Linski. And yes, they are the Linski. I just like the name. Hey, Mill, you might if I just use your name? No, it's cool, Peter.

That's not how she sounds at all. Well, it's also weird that she never, did she ever work with him again? She's not, she's like the only New Zealand actress not in Lord of the Rings as far as like this. Really? Is that because you stole my name, so now I won't?

I didn't know what you were filming that day. You're just putting in, you're rubbing my face in it. I hate the frighteners. I hate it so much. Mm-hmm. And Heavenly Creatures is a great movie. Is that finally available digitally yet? or still not?

It was one of those ones that it was in Wright's hell for a little while. I have my DVD of it whenever it came out originally. People die every day. That's true. Ice cold. So yeah, like Ray is freaking out.

I love Frank backs the car over his fucking lawn gnome and he's like, my Budzo! Like he's called this guy Budzo, this little lawn gnome, which is funny. And then we see, yes, Dr. Linsky, Lucy Linsky here shows up at the old Bradley house. That's where we started the movie.

And this is Trini Alvarado as Lucy. Is she from, I could not place this woman for anything. And I gave a quick glance on IMDB, but didn't notice. No, she seems to have, she did like, what do you call it there? She was in the 90s little women. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's kind of her big deal that.

She's Meg in that. Yeah. So I think she had children and took a step away for a little while. I think she's starting to come back a little bit recent. Oh, you know what she was in actually that I've seen is the the Antonio campus directed Colin Firth Tony Colette's staircase. Yes. Adaptation in some capacity.

I didn't pull it at the time just kind of actually looking close at her her IMDB, but I think she's good in this movie. Oh, she said Jay Morris Pauley. Is that right? Oh, my God. Have we not done that? Pauli. Polly is the Jay Moore is a parrot and he's getting into

trouble. Yes, he's a parrot. He's like a talking parrot or something, right? I remember that movie, but had no idea. One, the parrot was talking. And two, the guy doing the talking was Jay Moore. I had no idea. Could I have Jay less? What are you? The 1990 or the 2000s? The 1990s wanted Jay Moore. Am I any time that is not 1990 who gives a shit? Yes. Guys, no, I love this. The talking parac comedy. I love it. I can't wait to voice this parrot. Could you make the parrot have like 50% less Christopher walking impressions? Like, just parrot down a little bit. Do you want the parrot to not have a job or put a roof over its head? Come on. Give him something to do. Polly wants a cracker. Exactly. They're just milking me dry here.

But so Lucy is like the new doctor in town filling in for the normal doctor and she's there to see Patricia. This is Dee Wallace. She's got a deep cut on her hand from the night before and it's a lot of like you know it be easier if we just went to town and I stitched this up and the old crazy mom's got to be like no she never leaves the house just leave us some ointment and be on your way she lets it go that she was an accessory

after the fact but she knows what really happened this old mom it was cold blooded murder she does seem a little sexually excited talking about all the murders and death of her daughter she gets

a certain excitement all of a sudden when she gets to start. Well, you know, it's sort of nice to be known as like, that's the creepy house on the sure. Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. You're not getting any trick-or-treaters. On Halloween night, you're getting a lot of ring and runs for sure. You know what I mean? Ring and runs if you're lucky, dude.

I'm thinking flaming dog shit. We're throwing eggs at these people's house. Dollar paper up the tree. The kids fornicating in your lawn. A brick thrown through the window with a note rubber banded to it that says move out. Exactly. I dare from a schoolboy to the other one to go in there and slit your throat.

This is the stuff that happens to the creepy house. You also better hope everybody else of the 12 or the 13 that he murdered have moved out of town. You know what I mean? Yes. You don't want to be seeing them at the grocery store. Well, I wonder, does she tell everybody like so excitedly like, I can have her locked up whenever I want? Or is that just a Lucy? No, no, no, no.

Chris, this is for anybody who will fucking be with it. an earshot of this woman, dude. I have the power. This is all she has. This is all she has in her life is bullying her what turns out to be legit murderer daughter. She was right. And also this is a great way to get win remote control

arguments. Like, you know, like what are we watching? Did I know what? I know what we're watching what I want murderer. You know, that kind of stuff. I could have you locked up when you ever I want. Exactly. You know what? We'll spin your wheel of fortune maybe and see if you end up in the clink.

If you make me watch Fraser again, I can have you locked up. Exactly. This woman playing the old lady is still alive. Julianna McCarthy born in 1929. Oh, nice. Or did they just forget to update? I mean, I guess that's possible. She played expert in Starship Troopers and Judge in Striking Distance.

Well, there you go. Good for her. She's very good at the crazy old lady thing. She's excellent at it. 75 episodes of The Young and the Restless. Look at that. Oh. Wow.

2009's herpes boy speaking of restless so she Lucy as a doctor is a bit concerned about the state of this other woman you know what I mean is it an abuse situation so she wants to like look up on the on the case kind of thing

and she also saw like a strangulation mark on her neck yes so so she does the what anybody would do you go to a gas station and you just go through the DVD counter they have and you look for what is this murders. True crime.

Murders Mad Men and Psychopaths on DVD. Just a compendium of all the great murders across this great nation. See, like when we were growing up, Chris, and when this movie came out, that was like a niche interest. Like, if you had a friend that was like so into Charles Manson, it was a little weird.

Right now, it's just mainstream pop culture. That's whatever it loves. It's a career. It's a lot of industry, dude. A buddy of mine had the encyclopedia of serial killers. That was a Oh, did he really? And it was like, tell. If you can go back in time, you can make that guy famous just because he was into that.

Just talking to this microphone, I swear. Just read that shit in the book to the microphone. Was it like a lot of like photos and stuff? Like shit, like little boys probably shouldn't be looking at? No, it was a black and white, but it was still salacious to be reading it like 10 years old. Like, oh my God, he killed four people and wore their skin and all that stuff. But it was also funny because it was also they put spree killers and like people who had multiple. murder like Doc Holiday was involved

he had the X amount of murder so therefore he is now a serial killer Yeah, all right I thought you know I thought You know I only saw the movie I thought he was justified Justified in his homicide But yes she is in this in this First of all because you're saying DVD please is a VHS tape She has found somewhere

At the bargain bin and yes we're learning all about John Charles Bartlett Played by Jake Busey If you can even believe it And basically he had a kind of Bonnie and Clyde romance with Patricia, now played by Dee Wallace in the present day of the film. And they basically did a bunch of shotgun murdering at the nut house is the idea here. And he'd shoot him dead and then she'd carve numbers into their heads as they try to break a streak of a famous other serial killer. But they keep that very on the download.

It's like, oh, is she possibly just somebody that got roped into it? And this is very much like, he even mentions, is it Stark, whatever, Stark weather? The, Charles. Got me a score 12, sir. That's one more than Starkweather. That's the bad land. Oh, the guy who inspired Badlands when he's pre-killing with. Guess that makes me public enemy number one.

Well, if you're dead, not really. I'm going to be the encyclopedia serial killers. He-ho. Oh, yeah, a bunch of weird kids from the Bronx are going to look at my picture at 10 years old. He-ha-ha. Oh, a regular dark holiday. I killed 12 people. That's equal.

Only some of them were duels, though, you see. I do love there's this old nude news footage of Busey, and it goes, I was mentioning something about the demonic look on his face. And if you like, you hear demonic look and then you make eye contact with like Jake Bucie through the screen, you're like, yeah, that's about as demonic as it gets right there. I don't know what to tell you. Dude's got a great demonic look about him. And it's the 90s.

So the fact that Ray is very into fitness makes him a weirdo. You know what? It's a classic. You know what I mean? Like it's like, oh, you're a fitness fanatic. Yes, that was like true crime back in back when this film came out. It was a niche thing. Only a few weird people actually did it.

He's like doing pushups before bed or whatever. And then he starts to, you know, trying to get something going here. He says the little, is it the tiger's lonely? What is it? I think tigers getting a little lonely. Yes. The bedtime kissies. after watching this video, which she says the whole thing about like, oh, I was at that woman's house today.

It's like, oh, great. We've been in town three days. You're making friends with the Manson family. And then immediately going from that to Kissy Time. That's a move as no one could pull. Hard right. I understand your criticism, Steve, about how he's depicted as this fitness nut or whatever. However, it is kind of weird when you try to make a pass at your wife in bed and get down.

to some love in, you know. Yeah. And you're still wearing like your fucking weighted ankle things from whatever workout. Like, why don't we take a shower, you ball funk smell and creep? Come on. That is the bigger thing. I don't think it's so much that the fitness is weird.

It is that this guy is an asshole. And that he also happens to do these things. Like he, yeah, he is a fitness guy, but he's an asshole. So he doesn't know how to do it right and to do it, you know, respectfully. I'm going to go take a shower before I try to, smush my balls into your face.

Yeah, exactly, dude. How about some fucking ivory soap on them boys before you get dangling? He's just thinking I'll shower after because I'll be sweating during this. I got the ankle weights on. Let's burn some more calories. Come on, baby.

You want me to shower twice in this house? Come on. You can just walk outside. It's always raining. And also, I mean, even for the most confident among us, the first move being the pushing the balls in the face, not smart. You know what I mean?

A low success. rate low success rate but that is this guy that the guy who's best friend is his fucking law gnome like I just know yes but he finds the card in bed uh the the the card from frank banister for psychic investigations what's this doing here I thought I tore this up did he come back and then all the poltergeisting starts yes and I yeah I do love there is the Elvis statue Ray just yells he's alive which is funny and there's a raggedy ann doll that humps the foot you know what I mean. That's fun. And this is, the trivia is actually correct on this. I think this is supposed to be a reference to the original Lorraine and Ed and Lorraine Warren's story there. Really?

Because the doll, the actual Annabelle wasn't the thing that we see in the movies. It was a regular, degular, raggedy Ann. And it was into like humping people. That's what it was main, the main thrust of Annabelle, I checked it again. And I don't think it's humping. I think the little arms are grabbing the ankle there. I don't think there's any thrusting. My words, I didn't put, you know, this is something Steve illuminated us. I saw it as as like foothumping because it's a fun, silly movie. Well, yeah, you see fucking pervert

stuff everywhere you go, dude. It's true. Is that your problem? It's one of. Fellas, enough of all the finger pointing. Everybody likes humping dolls. Yeah, you're right. I do love, like, all this crazy shit is going on. And of course, it's Stewart and a Shy McBride's

character there, like doing all of the haunting stuff here. But like, all this stuff is going on in front of this dude's eyes and he's like, honey, I don't want that con man in my house. I mean, the funny thing is like, yeah, Ray is actually right. You know, Frank Vanister is technically a con man, even though he does, he has the gift, but there's no actual real haunting going on. Okay, let's get down to Brastax. Do you want this stuff to stop or do you want to let the con man in your house? That's, those are your two options here, Ray. Ray, we have a poltergeist. Honey, it's nothing the police can't handle, which is a great line.

stupid. So, you know, here we go. Bannister gets the call. I love, man, there's a couple of references accidental or not, maybe, I don't know, to him being Marty McFly as well. But I do love one of them as him very dramatically checking his wristwatch here for the time. Yes. And, you know, he's, and then he says right here, it's the same thing. I'm on my way while he's, he's got food in his mouth, which is exactly what he says to Doc when he's late to get to the mall there. Maybe that's just me that sees all the respect to the future stuff in this movie, but I can't help it. It's there. The youthful vigor of Michael J. Fox had made just burst off the screen.

We should say he's got like a George Clooney-esque 90s cut a little bit. It's almost a crew cut, but grown out just a touch. A little bit more, yeah. So it's a little, he's not doing as Marty McFly. He's doing very much I'm not Marty McFly in this movie. Yeah, but it's weird because it's just an unflattering. I mean, I guess it works for the character, right? because it's like it's unflattering on Michael J. Fox and it looks like he fucking did it himself,

you know, which like, I could see lonely Frank Bannister cutting his own air, having the judge do it. Yeah, ghost barber, yeah. Well, with the Clooney, I mean, like, Clooney was a handsome fella. You put him in any haircut. He's going to work it out. Like, Fox is like cute. So when you give him that like haircut, it gives him a little craziness. You can work, you can work off the character a little bit more, I feel like.

Speaking to Clooney, this is the same year, of course, as from Dust Till Dawn, which came out in January of 96. Good year for horror. We're all just avoiding October, huh? I know. I want to look at what actually came out in October of 96. Even this year, look, there's how many horror movies? Other mommy and that's it. Like, if it's a boom for horror, let's get a new horror movie every week.

Let's see it. Let's do it, yes. More other mommies. That's the problem is you push that too much and it becomes that every horror has to be an event. So then you get less of them ultimately and then we got less movies. Well, now, you know, like focus has taken a note from like dimension back in the day when they released Scream in December 20th of 96. Scream also this year as Frightners, which is crazy.

But fucking Robert Eggers is now Johnny fucking horror Christmas because Vervold is coming out also at Christmas. Nosephratu did. And did Lighthouse also come out at Christmas or no? I don't think so. There's just Nostoviratu? Yeah. But yeah, but it's, I don't want to see Dracula on Christmas.

Okay. Or a were a werewolf on Christmas. Well, first of all, his name is Nosphiratu. And then this one's Vervolf. Yes. A vervel. I mean, you know, I love it. Yes.

Classic monsters for Christmas. The other mommies for another month, I'll say that. That's actually true. If you're working off of anything that's based in the universal monster franchise, it can be a Christmas spectacular. Sure. I'll take that. Robert Eggers' creature from the Black Lagoon. It would just be called like Black Creature or something.

The creature. With the weird like Unlaut over the A probably just to have it. Just for quite. But yes. he's got this weird, like he's doing basically the Peter Vankman, like, walking around and he's got the, you know, it's a, he's got some fun terms here. The David Lynch, a radio machine he has. Yeah.

Very Peter Vankman showing up to the apartment. He's got like what looks like a device you would use, like, measure light levels when you're like on a set. That's like what he's looking through. Like, oh, yeah. A lot of fucking ghost stuff around here. And then interestingly, the reason why I looked up from Dust Till Dawn in the first place, in this movie, squirt guns with Holy Water, that movie, squirt guns with Holy Water.

But then in all of this, where the fuck was Bordello of Blood? Because that's also squirt guns with Holy Water. It is, yep. Was that before or after these movies? It was on the VHS. It might be the same year. Dude, squirt guns were all the rage back of the day. See, true crime niche, squirt guns big and Nerf City and all that, the Super Blaster.

kids were going nuts back you remember that Chris oh yeah there were like four barreled super soakers you could just like change them like that should not be legal Bordello of Blood same year My God

my professional vamping paid off which is also weird because like it's you know a burdello of vampires it's August in 96 that came out that's so stupid good God similar to Dustal Dawn you know what I mean you got the stripper vampire so it's very similar

obviously Dustal Dawn much better film and now strips are everywhere in That was not a niche. And coming out in January, at least we're just starved for material at that point. So like, please, yes, anything good. I'll take a horror movie in January. Thank you, please. Very clearly, like, Lucy is kind of like into this dude.

And Ray is just like, oh, get the hell out of here. It's very funny. He gives him an estimate. It's like $4.50. Or we could call the whole fence thing even because Ray threatens to sue his ass back to whatever kind of thing. So that works. Like, it's all reverse engineered so he can get out.

of the fence bill. Oh, of course. Yeah, definitely. And then it's, what's with the number, pal? He's got 37 carved on his head.

Now, everyone would be thinking, that's a clerk's reference. That's what that is. My girlfriend killed 37 people. Trying to fucking take any lives

on the way to the parking lot. But, yeah, he sees the number 37 on the head. What's with the number? You know, the wife thinks that Ray's being rude.

right here. Why do you always alienate everybody? And then as they both like, it's pretty cool. They walk out of the frame as they're having this like little argument. And then, oh, there's wallpaper ghost. He's behind the wall. You see him pop out for a second. We get to Frank's house. He lives in an unfinished piece of shit house.

Kind of again living in squalor like Doc Brown, which is sort of funny. But we reveal the ghosts right here. His helpers in this fake haunting. And it's Stewart, which is this dude Jim Fife who had him. recognize anything but yes shy mcbride is cyrus and stewart vomits out of his ears which we've all done we've all had that one I've been there I've been there

best of us it's interesting all the ghosts are like tears soaked faces for some reason and all the ghosts are crying yes yeah it's an interesting touch you think he'd be happy no I wouldn't be thrilled I mean I I'd want to just get it over with and go to hell I know where I'm going down the pipe the

the penis snake biting pipe thing. That's interesting because the one I can't, I don't think he is crying is Arly Ermey. Yeah, he's probably prepared for death. He's ready to go right down. I'll go right for you. Arly Ermi plays the drill sergeant. It's pretty much the same character from Full Metal Jacket. Yeah. It's just fun.

And he says at one point there's tour, tour of duty still for an 85 years now. Is he employed by the afterworld to good question? Keep these specters in line before they go up a tunnel at some point? That's what it sounds like. Or keep people out of the graveyard and keep certain people where they're supposed. Because he's like telling all the people like, you get back in your fucking grave maggot and all that stuff.

So keeping them in and out, I guess is the idea. I imagine if you were to get to the afterlife and ask whoever is in charge, you'd be like, yeah, we don't know that guy. Yeah, no, we're not paying him. I don't know what he's doing. No, he just wants to do that. He just likes bossing people around. He was just a guy that never wanted to retire. and we kind of just let him do it, you know.

Don't pay him no mind. I mean, he brings those guns out really quick and we don't like that around here. So we got rid of him as soon as we possibly could. I do like Shy McBride's Cyrus is pissed off that they have to like ride in the trunk of the car or whatever, which I don't understand why they do. Nobody can see them. I don't know why they're crammed in the car. He says something about ectoplasm on his car.

Oh, that's right. Yes, yes, yes. They're fucking dripping shit constantly. Which is not good. I do like his Shy McBrides line though where he says he's a member of the African-American. Apparition Coalition and all these black ghosts are going to come kick this shit out of Michael J. Fox. We're going to march on Seattle.

But yeah, it basically the same conversation just carries into the next morning. Like, it's all the same characters, but then like Frank's eating breakfast while like they're still complaining about shit. And we learn like, you know, Stuart and Cyrus have been helping him do this stuff for the last five years. I like Cyrus being pissed off that he's stuck in 1970s clothes. and, you know, Frank has to be like, I don't know what to tell you, dude,

you died in the 70s. You can't put a fucking other code on. It's a fun joke. I like having the different period close. I think, like, Stewart looks like he's probably, what, like 50s or 60s? Yeah, like that he's kind of a kid. Died in a drag racing accident or something.

And the best one, I mean, it's a judge with the rotting job on. Oh, yeah. All the suspenders and all that. Which apparently, that's the reason Sean Astin wound up doing those Lord of the Rings movies is because John Asson's like, hey, that Peter Jackson

ain't ain't no slouch, so that's pretty cool. Yes, pretty sweet. I do like yeah, he looks the most Rob Zombieish of all of them, like, you know what I mean? He's just your favorite character? Yes, exactly. Well, he is closest to a hellbilly though. You have to, honestly, he does sort of look, he's got

Sid Haig vibes. Exactly. The long time, he's got like the very, it's very, he's very dramatic. Everybody else is like, kind of cutesy fun. He's dramatic. He reads his Western. Anything that reads as Western country Western Cowboy that is hell Billy

It kind of looks like What's his name? A Price Fitzsup Price when he has this Skeleton makeup in that Madhouse movie He looks very similar Oh yeah that's actually a good call too He does look like price in that movie How does one get ghost guns

Because the doc The judge has them Arly Ermi has them And then later when Frank needs them He could pick them up the ghost guns But where does one up Do you have to die with a gun in your hand? Is there a ghost gun shop?

Yeah, you go to a gun shop where they'll tell you there's a loophole. You go to the ghost market, the ghost guns you can get there. Oh, I can't sell you this ghost gun. You got to be dead 21 years before. So Dylan McKay can't get one. God. Right, exactly. He's not allowed.

But, yeah, I mean, maybe it's a thing like, yeah, if you die in the line of duty of some kind or you're, you're, you were just in an old west shootout you're in a Doc Holiday kind of shootout you die with your gun in your hand now there's a ghost gun well that's it's like because Arlyamer can summon humongous guns and much ammo at his beck in need which maybe so maybe

he does have a connection maybe he does have somebody there to go like hey you need this shit take it and who's given the scyth to Johnny you know that's a good question is that oh by the way we're talking about like actual ghost guns folks not like 3D printed things you learn

about on the dark way. We're not talking about what was a plot point to in the line of fire with the use with. We're not talking about that. That's right. Yeah, so the judge is talking about, you know, yes, he doesn't think he's got many haunts left in him. He's getting on in years.

I'm falling apart. It's kind of, I don't know, it's sort of like Griffin Donne and American Werewolf in London. It's just a ghost rotting. My ectoplasms dry it up. Don't tell the other fellas. my actoplasms all tried up nasty man gross that's probably got an itch a lot too

you're just putting oh man going at your ankles all day but you know with a lot of good turns of phrase a lot of good dialogue in this movie the judge saying like death ain't no way to make a living yeah that's a good one i think that made the trailer Fran Walsh and and uh what's uh peter jackson are both really good writers I mean that's yeah what that I mean even Lord of the Rings the fucking to be able to do that is God yeah

even that movie element is pretty good. There's the scene where Frank kind of gets called out for being a fucking phony baloney, which is nice when he pulls up. There's like a mansion and you can see like rich lady and the maid who's got to take care of these I guess they're supposed to be triplets. God help you.

Oh dear God. This is the waterhouse family that's being haunted here and they're basically just like picking up the babies and making them fly around and Cyrus has another great line here walking in like we're going to be professionals like Charles Bronson.

It's also just a nice reference for his character's era. Yes. The babies can see and understand him. Like makes a deal with the baby like, okay, baby, this is what's going to happen. Because babies can see, much like cats, can see ghosts like nobody's face. It's true. Absolutely. Everyone got skinnamarinked at some point, didn't you?

I know I saw something I didn't like. Might have been a mirror, but I don't know. So, yeah, it's like one baby. is holding up the business card, which I feel like, Frank, you can't do it this way. Do the baby of a business card, buddy. Come on.

Do a fake mail or put it in their fucking mailbox or something. And the next day, maybe they're like, oh shit, okay. Yeah. More of a setup. You can't do this.

And also, I was, I kind of feel sad that I didn't get to see Chime McBride just like slamming dishes on the ground. You see, thank you, Chris. I mean,

once this woman, you know, Frank Manister walks in, she holds up the newspaper. It's like, get out of my house because it's local con man haunt cemetery. You get your ghost buddies to do some real damage to those kids. Yeah, now go fuck them up. Yeah. Throw one of them in the pool. Questions because we're joking. This is a comedy podcast. Jokes said to our parody. Maybe, you know, knock over some commemorative plates. Start a small fire. Nothing fine. I just had to stop my writers from making some kids in pools jokes.

We're not doing that today, guys. Stop it. Stop it. Just stop it. Feed us. Feed us. What was the old joke you had there, Chris? The cold tauts club or something? Cold tikes club. Cold tikes. Exactly.

And we're always looking for new members. Ice tikes. You're a parasite, Mr. Bannister, which is funny. Just so you know we condemn this our own podcast. Of course. I'm confused. Does Michael J. Foxes, does Bannister have indoor plumbing in this fucking rotting husk that he's sleeping in?

I don't know. Does he smell like shit? Because like, it's all like... He does probably have indoor plumbing, but he smells like shit anyway. It's all just like plastic sheeting instead of walls. And like, it's like, oh, you know, I'm going to finish the house. Like, it's just, he's kind of living grossly. He might have a porta potty on the premises. It was a construction site.

I think that's what he might not actually have anything inside the house. You might just have the porta potty. Like this house is so unfinished. It looks like where like the finale and lethal weapon three take. place. Yeah, exactly. Skeletal, no walls really anywhere. I'm afraid he's going to die of exposure like Christopher McHandless.

Like, I don't know. There's no protection from the elements here. When I was growing up, there was a guy down the street for me a little ways who had bought the land and then decided, like, you know what? I'm going to build my own house. I'm not, oh, I'm not going to be in debt. So he slowly did it. And it was like a ramshackle shackle shack forever.

And it eventually got a little better. and it's still kind of okay. I don't know. Dude, I thought you were going to say it fucking collapsed in the night and killed the guy back in 1999 or something. I mean, I think it still looks like absolute shit, but he put some trees in front of it. So it's starting to look better.

Now it's just a shack, you know. That's a bigger shack. It's like a shack with an addition that is another shack now. Oh, I put an addition on my shack. You guys have to come over and take a look. But no banker got a quarter. So that's, that's right. Cosmo Kramer level.

You know what I mean? There were some eccentrics out in the woods. But yeah, Frank does, he goes to the newspaper office to complain and it is this, the actress is Elizabeth Hawthorne playing Magdorice Jones where she, yes, she calls him a parasite to his face. And this is where I think it's a little overstuffed because clearly they have a relationship and like later it's even more important when they think he's the killer. But it's very, this part's very muddled. I guess these two are antagonistic to each other for years, et cetera.

I feel like they were going to make more about the killing of his wife. It feels like there was going to be more about what has happened in the town since that happened. Because that's clearly what where she, because when she does, the spoiler alert, she dies. She's like, did it feel like this when you killed your wife? Yeah. Like you can glean, right, that she was definitely publishing story after story about Frank Bannister wife killer. I did I know they're trying to paint us this world to make this town like, a town, but like you can remove the other reporter guy who we do see also die and get this

a little more condensed. And maybe she's the field reporter. We don't really have to deal with the office politics of the news. Sure. Yeah. So they have that fight or whatever. He runs out. This is where he bumps into Peter Jackson wearing a Grim Reaper T-shirt, which is nice.

Pretty cool. This is, this is folks out there how a film director should make a cameo in their own film. Correct. Not saying anything, not being a part of a major plot point, bumping into your star,

going, and then walking the fuck out of your own movie. Right, like a hitchcockian. Yes. What if you want to stop the movie dead

by being like, I don't know, is he a, is you Australian, is QT Australian in Django for like five minutes. Yuck. Yep.

That's, it's, I like that movie, but that's a rough part. Of all the rough parts, That movie, that's what stands out to me is one of the most heinous. We're taking you to the prison planet.

I mean, the prison island. Sorry. Also, M. Knight being like the guy and lady in the water who writes the book that changes the world. I'm sorry for what I did to you and yours. I'm in a big car. There's an alien in my shed there.

You can go check it out. Goodbye. Beep, beep. Or, hey, I'm working out this nature preserve. What are you doing here? Let's have it to the village for two seconds. I do think he's gotten smarter with that stuff. I think him in trap is pretty good.

It's a little better for sure. But Michael J. I wanted to point out this, Michael J. Fox, as he's like leaving the Jackson interaction, he walks across the street, and he gets hit by Ray's Hearst. Yes.

And this is Michael Fox doing this stunt. Like, this is him like getting the choreography right. So the car comes and he gets up on the arm so he can like safely land on the hood. I was so stunned that he actually. did this himself. And it's kind of cool we find out that Ray doesn't know that he's dead really, you know what I mean, and we meet him, he's a ghost.

I like him jogging down the street, because I think there's, is it in a montage in Ghostbusters 2, where there's a jogging ghost around the Central Park basin there and they trap him casually? It's part of the We're Back montage. Yes. Well, Ray, you appear to be dead. Great Michael J. Fox line right here. And

you know, he wants to like, he's like, hey, Ray, you know, So this is we do get some of the mechanics of how the afterlife works here, right? He's like, hey, Ray, why didn't you fucking go into the light, dude? And he's like, I'm only 29. He's like refusing that he's dead, you know. And we do get some questions that I feel Peter Jackson was like, you know what? 30 years later, some fit guys on a podcast are going to be questioned some of the mechanics of how the ghosts work. So I'm going to get it out right here because Michael J. Fox is like, you fucking don't eat, you don't sleep.

And guess what, dude, you don't go to the bathroom. These ghosts are not pissing and shitting guys. Thank God. But also they have like a year. He's like, okay, wait a year. The light's going to come back or else you have to stay for even longer. And it's like, that's kind of, maybe I would want to do this like a gap year between going into the afterlife. You'd want to do it.

Definitely. Think about that. You never backpacked through Europe or anything like that. But as a ghost, maybe you can. And then you get to see all your friends naked. You know what I mean? You get that done. Don't do that.

That's what all ghosts are doing. That's the first thing you're doing. That's a ghost. You want to see? You really want to see? Listen, I'll tell you what, I wouldn't be paying any of you a visit if that I would not be like, you know what? I fucking died tragically.

I'm a ghost for at least a year. Let's go see Steve's dick. You just want to see what it looks like. No, there's better people to look at, you know, bigger targets to look at, like, I would go to the White House or something. Let's look at that. Let's see what that looks like. Oh, I don't want to see that fucking mangled shit.

I'm not prioritizing my friend group. That's the problem. All year you're just looking at all these dicks. And then you're like, oh, shit, I wasted the year. And now it's like, it's afterlife or bust, you know what I mean? Like opens and closes behind you, but you don't even see it because you're just staring at some juicy cock. No. No, there was no.

Oh, shit. Like, you see it like the reflection of a bathroom mirror and go, no, fuck, wait. But I had to know. I had to know. I needed to know what Ernie Hudson's Dick looked like. No. You know that's a fantastic thing.

Oh, for sure. I'm sure. I think about all the dicks you're not going to see if you go through that tunnel. You get sucked up there to heaven or hell. Like now you want to stay on earth for hundreds of years. I do love that. You do tell Ray like no pissing and shitting. But for some reason, Stuart did vomit this morning.

So I don't know what that's all about. Sure. But anyway. That's like you're not like any gut stuff. That's just plasma or whatever. Because what does Michael J. Fox say? You're basically just a rotting cloud of bioplasmic particles. Yes.

What he says to him here. And, you know, this is funny. You don't hear it often because, you know, very few movies, a character finds themselves in a situation such as this. So it's, you know, few and far between, but no less pathetic. Can you give me a ride to my own funeral? Yeah. That's tough.

Which is, man. And then you were just in the paper for going to the funeral. It's the last funeral. Now you're going to this one. Yikes. Yeah. You know, there was a. guy back up state that

my father clocked one time. We were out of wake and he sees this fellow like across the way and it was a guy who sometimes attended the church that we went to. This is a wake crash or story? Hell yes, I love it.

We'd see this dude like every once in a while and like he was like a noted weirdo but you know there was a lot of fucking noted weirdos that came and went through that parish so whatever. And I see the guy and I'm like oh hey dad that's that that weird guy from church. How did he know, you know, the, the deceased that we were there for? And he goes, I guarantee you, he doesn't.

And I was like, what the hell? Why is he at? This is, it wasn't the wake. It was the like meet at the funeral parlor. You say like the prayer and then you go to the, the cemetery there before you go to the reception. He goes, my father says, it's a known thing. This guy shows up, goes to the funerals. So he can then get the automatic invite to the reception to go get the.

the free food later. There's a lot of pasta. Not everyone's going to eat all that pasta. But what if he's death, you know, what if he's actually some supernatural entity that goes to every funeral? The guy at our church that kind of looked like

the Three Stooges Larry Fine, who often had a daughter with him that had an eye patch on. That sounds creepy as hell. The Lord Death. Yes, I think this is I'm going to, this is at least the tales of the Crip we can read. Yeah, it's a tales from the Crip 30-minuteer. I don't know that we're getting a full fucking feature.

out of him. Spectacular entity fueled by cold cuts. Maybe. Maybe. I think you're describing this podcast again, by the way. Four spectacular entities fueled by gold cuts. Not far off. So, yeah, Ray's freaking out at all the ghosts in the graves

as we walk through the cemetery here. We kind of talked about this already. This is where Arlie Irmy comes in. We multiple. I think I counted at least two. There's a possible third one. Tell me what you guys think. Reuse of sound off like you've got a pair? There's two at least. At least two, right?

Oh, my Lord. Because I think that they were letting him go a little bit. You know what I mean? Improv. Yeah. Your greatest hits kind of thing. Yeah. Do the thing, Arlie. Do it for us. It was one of those like, oh, we'll do an early, early type. And then someone's like, I could probably get him. And then like, oh, okay. You know you could get me for cheaper than an impersonator would cost you. I do like this His special power is like You know Frank Bannister tries to hit him or whatever

Because he can actually impact ghosts a little bit Riot Shield And then boxing glove Yes First he's like The LAPD Circa in 1993 or whatever With that riot gear shit

92 And then yeah then just like I'm it's an old timey boxer But he's got the drill sergeant hat back on Peter I love it I absolutely loved Brain Dead. Please put me in your movie.

I love your all your fucked up Kiwi Horror films. That's right. I only call it by the, its actual name from New Zealand, not dead alive when it was marketed as here. No way, sir. I know exactly it's called Brain Dead in New Zealand. I'm an OG fan.

I forgot, yes. I saw it as Dead Alive and I watched half of the movie with my grandmother. And I was like, I'm going to turn this off. Did you get to the grandma? other soup scene? That's when I turned it off. Yeah, that's what you got. That'll do it. Eric, you won't ever do that to me, would you? They didn't know what was going on.

But yeah, I love his love is like, I am not one of your shitty little emanations banister. But yeah, he's just shooting other ghosts with this chain gun, like, get back in your graves. And it's like, I guess, are those the ghosts

that are like damned to purgatory or whatever? And you are just like locked in your coffin? Yeah. I still don't understand why he's keeping them in the cemetery. Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe they're ones that are like, they're at the funeral for whatever reason they don't go in and it's just like, I don't know, wait around here a year. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's a prison sentence.

You can't be looking at all those dicks. I will shoot you if you go start looking at dicks. Turn around and get your ass into that white light. Stop looking at all those juicy dicks. What's wrong with you? The second you die, you want to see your French dicks.

What the hell's wrong with you? What is your major malfunctioned dumb nuts? Stop trying to pick up that camera. You don't get to take pictures of the juicy dicks. You just get to see the juicy dicks. Private Piles. Stop staring at all those delicious juicy cucks. You can't do it, can you?

Oh, licking your lips like a cartoon wolf when you look at those dicks. You disgust me. Now you're getting the whole cemetery in trouble because you can't. You can't stop looking at juicy dicks. So what do they do? All the other ghosts there, they get a bunch of ghost soap bars and wrap it in ghost towels and start wailing on you. It will be awesome if a bunch of ghosts and sheets just like put the bars of soap into their sheet hand and just starting whipping. The classic sheet ghost.

But man, here's something. And it's why you never want to attend your own funeral. like, you know, Tom and Huck style, or like you're a ghost dropping in, because you're going to have some guy. It's not really explained who this dude is. Maybe he's in town. He was like the best man at the wedding or something. This guy. And he's like, there are many of us here who considered Ray to be, well, not the most generous person, but deep down, I'm sure he was a human being.

Like, it is the worst eulogy. It's like a C minus of a person kind of a thing. you get graded at the end. Remember that when you pass away. You're going to get graded by all your friends, but then you get to see their juicy cock, so it's okay. It turns out. Everyone is gathered around your grave,

and someone is just calling you cheap. All we could get was his college roommate, who he did give him some money, which was his problem. He should have dealt with it, but he doesn't have a lot of good things to say. I do like this whole thing of, like, Ray falling in his own grave and then the coffin like coming down on top of him and then like his

ghost is face to face with his own corpse which is the guy is playing it's so great right here. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. But this is where we are introduced of course to the great character actor Troy Evans is Sheriff Walt Perry here. Yeah. And he comes to tell Frank that you know Frank you know Frank you know anything about all these deaths that are going on here because the FBI is taking an interest here and you know he explains how all. of these deaths, they look like heart attacks, but then when we get to the autopsy, all of the, you know, valves and aorta's and everything are all squeaky clean, but it just looks like

the hearts have been crushed with a pair of hands or something. And aside from his wife, you're the last person to see Ray alive. So what's that about? And it's just sort of like... People saw you yelling about the car accident, whatever. And something silly happens where Ray falls into the grave because he doesn't really understand his ghost mechanics that needs help before he gets buried alive. dead whatever, dead alive actually,

I bet that man. And Michael J. Fox has to pull him out. That's kind of fun. This is some nice physical comedy from Fox here where like, because he says to the sheriff, he's like, can you give me a minute to say my goodbyes to this guy? And he's like, oh yeah, sure. It walks away.

And then it's just Fox miming, pulling this guy out of the grave. And then like walking to nobody. Yeah. It's a great moment. I mean, I don't think I still laugh at it. It went to fucking razor. He's like, register! And his mouth is full of dirt and he's in the grave.

Yes. I just love that. So we cut to a scene where Lucy has agreed to have dinner with Frank for some reason. And this is at, well, she asked him at the cemetery, or at cemetery, like, does he have any words for me? And she's like, Ray says he loves you very much or whatever. Yeah, I think it's the idea. It's like I'm trying to communicate with my husband from beyond easier medium, et cetera. Yeah.

One detail too many that we don't explain. This is a medieval restaurant. We're going to talk about this at great length. The castle-themed restaurant called Excalibers. Excalibers restaurant, dude. You want to go to Excalibers tonight? Only restaurant in town. I would love to.

Served on swords are what exactly? I really wanted a little bit more out of this other than the castle. It's just decor, I think. Because it's like medieval times without the fucking show. No show. Here's the thing about medieval times. they're always like out there from you know like it just you know you got to go you got to drive out to medieval times I want something in my neighborhood yes get a medieval meal whenever I want I want to yeah

that I could go to you know preferably walking distance that is castle themed that a heavy set gentleman could go good food huh in the lens room at me well that's the question are you going to these places for the quality of food no because if then you shouldn't want any anyway because then just You're just going for the show and you have no show here. So fuck it. Get me out of here. Wait, wait. Are you telling me tapestries and nice, not bricks?

What do they call that? Stones. That's what they call them. It's not real stone. You know that's not real stone. I don't care. I want to believe. And no, Chris, I'm not going for the quality of the food.

I don't need the show. I just need to eat chicken with my bare hands and have a goblet instead of a glass. This is what I'm asking. This is what we're talking about. Okay, goblet. All right. Eric and Steve are looking for their own two-bedroom condo to share somewhere that's close to downtown, but also walking distance to Excalibur's restaurant.

Look, guys, I know our pizza place is really going downhill. I'm going to tell you what's going to save us. Let's serve our drinks and goblets. They'll bring a little more class into this place, I think. Well, I hate that this house is just two shacks put together. I mean, the walking distance to a turkey leg dinner is too enticing for me to pass up. I'm not crazy about having to piss and shit in an outdoor bathroom every single time I have to go. in my own house, but I can walk to the place that doesn't have any silverware while you eat.

Yeah, the plastic sheeting in front of my bedroom isn't exactly ideal, but I do want to eat mashed potatoes with my bare hands. So, yeah, you know, getting, you know, catching pneumonia at least four times a year because I'm just kind of living outside, technically, isn't great. But I can walk to the place that has turkey legs and goblets with. bad wine in it. But now, you know what? Lancelots just opened five miles away. So now I got two options. I don't know where I want to be, really.

And they have a show. They do a show. And also you can get sucked off at Lancelots. That's for sure. Oh, definitely. Dagger bathroom. Ye old medieval suckery. Totally.

But so she's like, you know, asking. And this is when we learn very quickly because you're like, oh, you know, it seems like they have a bad marriage, but she pretty much flat out says that they had a bad marriage because she, for what she really wants you like oh she wants to close her she's like I gave him like 16 grand do you know where that is and he does this thing Ray

reveals that like there was a bad investment and he's like trying to stay in her life which is very creepy and like Michael J. Fox won't allow that kind of a thing it's so funny though like just like the stuff that he doesn't get that's like logistically whatever but he's like you know I'm gonna I'm gonna move back in

baby like I'm taking care of you all this stuff but yeah losing 15 large on a bad investment And when Michael J. Like he says that and Frank's, you know, Michael J. Fox tells her, she's not like stunned at all. No. It's more like I've been assuming that that's what he did and he hasn't fucking told me yet. And now here we go.

Just like ready to take the money and run. Run to wear his grave. But, you know, man, if I've been dead a day and I get to go to my favorite restaurant excalibers, I know I can't eat anymore, but I can look at it. And then she's saying, oh, bad marriage. Oh, his taste in wine was terrible. And he lost all this money. Give it a week before you start doing this, okay? Yeah, I agree.

But, you know, he's the server comes over, whatever. And it's like, oh, would you like some wine? And, you know, Frank is like, oh, yeah, you know, red or white. And she, Frank is, or Ray, the ghost is like, we always have red it. We always fucking drink red at dinner. And she's like, white. I've never been fond of red and you're like, oh, man. He was just a fucking controlling douchebag and honestly, it might be better that he's dead now.

And there's no, tit for tit. You know, they're going back and forth with Ray and Frank Bannister here and what like he knocks over his wine glass all over his crotch. So his juicy cock is now marinated and white wine and he's got to go to the bathroom to at least clean it up a little bit to look like a normal member of society and not Liam Neeson going out for a drink. With all the white wine, if you get there with some garlic, you're going to have a scampy penis. Yeah, that's right. That is a little shrimp. It's a little shrimp down there. Dick scampy, dude.

But this is the thing. The Grim Reaper, aka Jake Busey has been squeezing the hearts of, you know, very healthy people. And that's been this big question mark. How is he doing this? How are these people dying of their healthy hearts? Now he's going to get a great big fat guy. And no one's going to work. Like, he's trying to throw people off the trail, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't a supernatural one. That was just a, yeah. That was a great, yeah, he was a great big fat guy. Yeah, all these heart crushings aren't linked together here. I guarantee you, yeah, this is me, the doctor doing the auto, looking at him, you know, here at the rest. I guarantee his last words were good food, huh? Oh, another fat guy died in Excalibur's bathroom, I understand, on the toilet.

Uh-huh. When are they going to close that place down? And he had the double ribs for dinner. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, no, no, that's good. They need to clean the grease traps. I keep asking them to do it. They will not do it.

It's an epidemic. When he's asking, you know, good food, huh? Yes, he does have the 38 already carved into his forehead here. And I do like, as this dude is pissing, like Frank sees the numbers so he knows what's going on. And like Michael Fox's like scurrying around this bathroom, like looking at all the stalls for the ghost is very funny. And this dude like just holding this fucking dirty dick just like, what's that boy doing back there? I never knew that back in the day of Excalibur. They had french fries.

Isn't that crazy? I've just had two pounds of them. They're delicious the old way they made them. Oh, they got the French fries with Lancelot came over, dude. That's what he brought the French fry recipe. Wait, hold on. Is this a squirly little guy trying to suck my cock in the bathroom? This isn't Lancelots.

What are we talking? This isn't Lancelots at all. Buddy, take that up the road to Lancelots, will you? I mean, you know, I'm not offended or nothing. I'm just saying you're barking up the wrong tree. That's all. Better, yeah. Go to Syracuse where King David's is.

They'll let you in with a fucking bow. I do love the visual effects here with the mirror ghost. Yes, this is a cool grab. Just the ghost like brings the hand out of the mirror and fucking squeezes this dude's heart, which is pretty sweet. And then just like floats right back into the mirror. And this guy, this old fat guy, delighted to be dead. He's going up to heaven. He's like, mom, oh wow.

Like he's ready to die. I do like the immediacy of the light coming out. It's a very cool. To Chris's point, it might not be. entirely like, you know, one to one makes a ton of sense all the time. But like, I like the second you die, here comes the light. You better get in it or if not, you're going to be a goat. Right.

That part is very well observed and very, a very cool way to do this kind of a movie. And probably realistic, right? Mm-hmm. I hope so. We'll see. Oh, yeah. Peter Jackson, they researched this, him and Fran. Oh, dude.

Pretty lengthily. They were flatlining. They were flatlining every night. I promise, Fran, I'll bring you back. You just have to tell me what it looks like. So we get the screenplay, Ikear it. So when he runs out, Frank runs out, which is the, it's a bad move here. You got to be like, this guy was taking a piss and he had a heart attack.

Don't run out first, but he's chasing the ghost out, of course. And we see this little guy scamping across rooftops here, looking like the Grim Reaper, which is pretty cool. This all, like, the ghost jumping from roof to roof, this all still looks pretty nice because it's like one dark, too far away. You'd still get away with a little bit. A lot of good cheats here. But they suspect Bannister like immediately. And, you know, Roger Prodactor is here going to be like, oh, bring him in.

Bring him in. Bring him in. Right. He was seen running out five minutes before they called the, you know, the authorities over the dead body. And he looked white as a sheet. And he was sped off at high speeds. The next place he's known to be is when the journalist and Magda both die,

essentially. First, it's at the museum. he's rushing off with his ghosts in tow with the death on his fucking car and they make it he sees the beam of light go into the museum and that's the journalist Stephen from the beginning and that's where magda is like oh it's the wife killer oh thank god he's here the wife killer everybody give a hand for frank bennett before we get to that museum scene though we are introduced to Jeffrey combs oh yes you know he comes in I love the sheriff line show you're dead husband was with you at the restaurant. And then Jeffrey Combs just like races in. And here he is. Milton Damers special investigator to the FBI. This dude's basically working the X-Files.

He is absolutely. And this is probably a way more realistic type of guy that's working the X-Files. I love this character. I always love this character. I love Jeffrey Combs. Big fan of Jeffrey Combs. It's kind of interesting that he's just a creep because I kept expecting him to be like some judge doom-esque figure that was going to be a ghost at the end or a some sort of

Big whatever. You expect him to be an acolyte of Jake Buse. Precisely. And he's not. No, it's just sort of like, you know, all these losers like Heinrich Himmler and people that are chasing ghosts and goblins. They're losers, you know, and that's the type of what this guy is going undercover in every cult and sect.

He knows all the language, but he's got no power. He's got no power here. He's got so little power that he's got a thing where he starts puking if a woman yells at him, which I think says. Everything you need to know about the character. It's a great detail. Yeah. And just his delivery of stuff and just like changing.

Like he's always fidgety. Like sometimes he'll sit down and immediately get up and just changing the volume of his voice. Like I'm just talking about inane stuff. You know, like I came by train. I was going to fly by and I was iffy about the plane. At what time precisely? Yeah. Did Bannister leave the bathroom?

Third and Garrett, 3 p.m. Yeah. Three. in his own like conspiratorial mindset i do have the sheriff perry you are violating my territorial bubble he gets too close to him i like him a lot he is just on the edge of being in the wrong movie but i it's it's an interesting tension of having him doing what he's just doing literally whatever clearly jackson likes what he's doing and likes that he is just sort of on his own page and i just I enjoy watching Jeffrey Hillcom's work, so I have no complaints, but he is just on the edge of being in the other movie.

This might be part of the overstuffingness. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah, this is the jalapeno aoli. This stuff is, it's just, it's drenched on the side. Oh, my God, it's disgusting. Ooh, I'll ask for seconds, please. Please. I'll dip my sandwich in it. That's the thing. Yes, absolutely. So he tells Lucy about Frank's past a little bit. She tries to get into it with Frank at dinner, and he's sort of very much. much deflex into like let's talk about you some more. But yes, Frank, you know, was a was an architect and this construction worker that was working on the house one day spotted him having an argument with his wife. Apparently he had promised the wife that he's going to build a big, beautiful rose garden for in the house. And uh-oh, he turned into a basketball court for himself. This Michael J. Fox wig that he's got straight out of the fucking Eric Stoltz Halloween costume set, he now looks like Eric Stoltz in Pulp Fiction, with.

his fucking wig on. He does. It's also a little anime-esque. It's just like in a suit. It looks like he's about to start doing really cool karate maneuvers, but he's not about to because he's too drunk. Because it's also like an unkept like lions mane of red hair going back. It's a little

Blanca-esque-esk, honestly. Ooh, dude, coming this fall, Michael J. Fox, as Little Blanca. Yes, definitely. Thank you. Little for sure. But so, yeah, they the construction workers saw them both getting into their Volvo

and drove off into the hills and that was the last time the wife was seen alive here and we see you know the Michael J. Fox drove off the road and the wife was killed but Bannister just sort of wandered off into the woods and claims like to this day that he doesn't

remember exactly what went down in the crash which is true because we see Frank start to remember it more as the movie goes on here because wouldn't you know what it is connected but the wife had a 13 carved into her forehead. But you know what the weird thing is? Deborah's corpse had a 13 carved into it. Unlucky for some.

Yes. I love to just like switching from, you know, Debra and his wife to the corpse had it in its forehead. Yes. Yep. Yeah. Just, yeah. Very clinical. Exactly.

Yes. We need to always find the right region when we're writing, though. They keep calling it a utility. knife was missing a utility knife. Here in America, we call it a box cutter. It's not an right. It's just one of those things. It's just you got to. I always wonder, like, someone on set could be like, hey, I'm Jeffrey Columbus in America. I say a utility knife here. I think you mean box cutter? That's what we call it. This is an American, right? Right. Yeah. Right. But was that a forever thing or was that something we adopted in the aughts? Because 9-11. 9-11. I feel like

that is where we adopted the box cutter. Because I've always called those things. Really? Yes. I don't recall. I do not recall that. Senator, I do not recall. I feel like you can say either or I get, you know, and then I guess if you're doing it, like, and you show it, it's like Americans are going to know, but let's hold the hand of Europe and whoever else. Call it a utility knife.

Well, it's a Michael Fosbender and Inglorious Bastards thing. Here's a lot of, I know. When they do the freezing sequence later, I believe they're doing metric, or not Celsius, rather, for the temperature because once it goes to freezing, freezing, it's at zero. Oh, sure. Yeah, that's Celsius, baby.

For Americans, it's 32. I will not use those demonic measurements. You can't make me. So we learn a little bit from the judge. Fair and fright. Is that anything? Fair and height, fair and frown. Oh, it's maybe something.

I guess it's not. Let's continue. They're making new tales from the crypt. You never know. Okay, the movie's on. Let's continue. do that new cryptkeeper I don't know

I mean I'll wait to see an actual episode display them it's a real thing they made a real puppet I give them so much credit for that alone but it's too good

it looks gangky as shit yeah you were right but I think the face itself just doesn't look good the face has well that's what I mean by too good there's too you're looking at it like just a picture you can tell it's going to be able to move

way too realistically yes Part of the charm of that original Cripkeeper Puppet was that it looked like shit constantly. So you're saying it just looked a shitty fucking puppet. Too scary maybe is that? No, no, not scary. It looks too, there's too many, like the face is going to move too much. It's going to have too much facial muscles and shit.

I mean, you saw, there's like ones of him DJing and stuff and I'm like, that's a little much. I don't know about that. But whatever, I'll see it when I get to it. I'm 100% going to watch it. I'm a big fan of the original series, but I just wanted, when they debuted that new puppet, I was like, I missed the debut. I miss this press release. I've never been so happy that Shutter has the Tales from the Crypt back, by the way. It's been just a delight going through those. It's fucking great. It's absolutely great. But so anyway, the judge is telling the other ghosts and Frank what's going on here. He's like, you know, there's this soul collector's coming back and he's doing some dark business. And this is where they see the, they spy the tunnel up to heaven coming from the museum. and yep Frank Frank shows up

guys having a heart attack he's the the cub reporter there that was getting yelled out at the beginning of the movie I do like the detail that the reporter guy his ghost is leaning over like he's a bystander

for his own death yes pretty cool and he turns and looks at Frank like what the fuck you know and he has a 39 on his forehead and then the newspaper editor is yelling

you know saying the banisters involved with it and then Frank sees the newspaper editor has got the 40 and he foolishly just says to this woman in a time of

of crisis, you're next. Oh, boy. Not great. No, no, no, no. And then she rightfully is like, he's threatening to kill me. And all the cops come in, it turns to do a big foo for all. This is fucking, these cops need to be fired, brought up on charges. You just start crazy. Shooting firearms at Egyptian. You're chasing a five-three guy.

Like, you know what I mean? You can just go and grab them. It's okay. I know it's America, but he's still, in America, you would get fired for this in the 90s. you're getting out of there. But it's like Eric's right though. You're shooting all these like prices artifacts. You're also just firing a gun into this crowded museum

opening to get, yeah, to Steve's point, a tiny little guy that's skittering away. Come on, Bruto, let's go fucking get him. Who might have killed someone? Maybe. Big maybe on this. Yes. Might have mysteriously given everyone heart attacks.

Yes. But so the, you know, the big Reaper ghost almost goes to kill the editor when here comes the judge here comes the judge he comes in fucking shooting his ghost guns off shooting the shit out of this thing it's pretty cool yeah it looks like I ain't shooting blanks no more and then we get a lot

of sexual stuff with this old judge Steve you want to jump in I can tell a far too horny for a mummy and he's like I like when they lay still and he desecrates this mummy's corpse with uh you get to see his ass going up and down

into this a carfrey Good for him. A lot of ectoplasm in there, I think, is the idea. Yeah, I do agree. It's in porte, Steve. I think we should let this mummy rest. Yeah, but yeah, they don't call me the hanging judge for nothing. Oh, because he's hung.

Yeah. Pumping away there. I did not get that in theaters, but I get it now. And I appreciate it. I do like Stuart and Cyrus holding up the other mummy and making it look like it's walking towards the cops and they shoot the shit out of it. She was so young and beautiful. Beautiful. But that's like, you know, Lieutenant Johnson, Lieutenant Anderson, you destroyed this priceless artifact that was on loaned to us for wherever.

This is like millions of dollars in damages. I want to watch the cop movie that's going on. Your honor, but I was scared. I was scared of the ghost. It was a mummy ghost. The mummy ghost was coming at me. Paranormal or no, it was priceless. And you fucking destroyed it. So, yeah, the judge, he's all excited. He's all excited. freshly fucked my juices are flowing again in comes the soul collector with his scythe and fucking cuts this is ghost in half yeah and apparently i guess other cuts they're supposed to be like the judges crawling around on his ankles on his arms and doing stuff but he's out of the movie at this point yeah it's that's and that's what i prefer yeah yes i like that you can have a finality if like yeah you're killed

by another ghost or whatever it's a cool rule that this sets up and i'm thankful that they left it as such. But man, oh man, Michael J. Fox punching this newspaper editor woman in the head and throwing her over the shoulders and running out. Bit much. Yeah. But so he drives up the same road that he drove up, you know, with his wife to

get out of town. And we should say that what's cool too is these ghosties Cyrus and Stewart they're like disable the vehicles of the police at this time. Yes. They're doing like Beverly Hills Cup banana stuff. Like you know, they're just like however that works. How are you, you know,

Banana in a tailpipe? Yeah, that's it. You can't do that. You'll fucking kill somebody. Very dangerous to put a banana in a tailpipe. Is that right? Well, then tell that to Judge fucking Rydhole, dude. I don't know.

I didn't invent it. You know it at me. Like, I'm doing it. I mean, unless you got the windows down, if you got the windows rolled up and you fucking cover up that tailpipe, good night. Yeah.

That's what that's what that is. Well, but so, you know, the banister. I like the fucking creatures on the top of the car. The scythe is like through the roof here. And it's kind of like cutting Michael Fox's throat a little bit, which is nice. He has a flashback to the crash with the wife. And he remembers like her screaming at him to watch the road. And he flips this car as well as that happens. And here comes the soul collector. And dude, this ghost tackling this woman off of a small little cliff here. Well, well done. Oh, yeah.

She just gets rocked. She goes flying like 15 feet. And they're not, the ghosts are not or the ghost and, uh, D. Walls are not trying to frame Michael J. Fox. Right. That's not what they're. doing they're just so happens to be the case. I think it's a just so happens sort of situation. But then he does remember, you know, he starts thinking again, he sees the wife with the 13 and then this is where the woman is dead and like going up to heaven, did it feel good killing me? Did it feel good killing your wife? And then the, like, these are your last words as you're ascending to heaven.

You're a murderer. It's so funny. Like you're talking shit as you're like leaving this. plane. And you're wrong. I mean, that's when you die, you want that like super knowledge. It seems like maybe you have to go all the way up to heaven to get that. The elevator's got to hit the top floor

before you get that, I think. So there might be a scenario where I can get super knowledge. Either at the exact point of death or if I get up there, whatever that means. Dude, speaking of super knowledge, have you guys been getting these Instagram

ads for like, it's some sort of neotropic, I don't know if they're gummies or whatever, but they say, like brain stuff. Yeah. Brain pill. Like mushroom mushroom. You know, mushroom brain stuff.

There's a commercial out. And it starts with the, there's a guy and he's like showing a clip from the Bradley Cooper movie Limitless. Okay. And it starts with him going, do you guys want to know why this film was pulled from theaters for telling the truth? And I'm like, what in the,

fuck are you talking about? Like, that didn't happen. Like, it wasn't pulled from theaters because some pharmaceutical company was like, the fucking limitless drug is real and they're telling everyone. Like, what are you talking about? It's on DVD right now.

You can get it. It had a it had its natural life in a theater and then just went away. It wasn't pulled. Like, I couldn't believe it. I commented on the thing. I was like, you're starting your advertisement with a fucking total lie. What are you talking about with this movie?

Like, I've seen it a couple times now. It's just this guy, yeah, they fucking pulled that movie from shelves and I'm going to tell you why. Well, no one's reviewing, no one's reviewing, no human is reviewing any ads anymore. Like, even on YouTube, sometimes I get like an AI Chinese doctor trying to sell me something. I'm like, okay. Dude, I've gotten the AI Chinese doctor a bunch of times. Yeah, me too.

And I've, he's gotten all my money. I've been buying all that stuff. All that rhino horn powder and shit. But it's crazy that that stuff, it's just like a completely. A.I. Generated fake guy trying to sell... Yeah. Posing as a doctor.

It's all sorts of shit, though, dude. It's like, there's AI ads that I see where it's like a woman cradling, like, what is... It's an AI woman and a fucking AI dying dog. And she's like, I'm putting my dog down today. But I wish I'd known about these fucking joint gummies I'm selling you. And I'm like, this is... It's got to stop. This has to be rendered illegal.

It's worth it to get us back to the dust bowl where... food and water is scarce. It will only stop when it's all dried up. When everything's all dried up, then you can have it. But I'm certainly not fucking buying any new tropic gummies from that asshole. I'll tell you that. I would hope not. I really would hope not.

Yeah, I'm going to stop payment on that check to the fake Chinese doctor. Wait, they don't work? Hold on. Look at me. I'm just fucking deteriorating. One of the best Jeffrey Combs moments in the movie is right either back of the police station. he's making this big stink about Bannister and he's like, I'm pretty certain we're never going to see Frank Bannister ever again.

He fucking walks right into the police station. I mean, the best one is when he gets, he takes Frank all by his own. He kicks the sheriff out. And he's just like, what did he do? Peace on your hush puppy.

Oh, yeah. So fucking good. Yeah, that really made me happy. He's basically doing, it seems like he's going to turn to Agent Smith for a second here. Yeah. because it's very similar

like we get the other guy out and then he just starts he's basically telling him he knows what's up and blah blah blah he even shows you can't get me because he's got this like iron chest plate on the breastplate yes it's pretty funny and then he ruins his shirt to show this off

I love it and then when he yells at the sheriff it's great by the power invested in me by the president get out of this room yes oh my god tell some story about some woman that was able to stop a frog's heart in St. Petersburg or something.

Yeah, this is, like, he starts real enough like a case file. I'm like, this is like Fox Mulder right here, but way less attractive. Do you mean Nina Kuligina? I do, actually. Yes, of course. Oh, man. Yeah, that's, I mean, this is Jeffrey Combs really just biting into it and really having come with it.

Oh, yeah. Because like, this scene just kind of is there to get us up to like, here's where we are in this story. Yes. Let's start. Yes. But yeah, so he thinks that Frank has been involved in every death in the town since 1990. We're told that he's been studying every death in the town since 1985.

And the first one with the crazy heart attack, fake heart attack death was your wife. Yes, exactly. And I mean, also, Lucy, what she sees him later, she says, get a lawyer. And I agree, dude. You don't duck this fucking guy. No, absolutely not. This Hitler-looking fucking FBI agent. And that box, I mean, utility knife has never been found.

but Lucy goes up to Frank's house and like I don't know lady I wouldn't walk right into the house of a suspected murderer like I know he can see your dead husband and whatever but it just seems like you're maybe asking for trouble here and Ray's winter he's like wow what a dump what a fucking creep I'm like yeah you're kind of right yeah you're not wrong well here's the heartwarming scene

is when you come across the basketball court now it's a beautiful garden yes there you go you see that he does have these regrets and Ray, oh, perfectly good basketball court, gone to pot. Yes. It tells you everything you need to know about Ray once again. One thing I need to know about Mr. Bannister here is there a dresser with clean underwear in it. What's that situation like? I don't think so.

It's skin marks. It's not a dresser so much as like it's a laundry basket where like after the rain has washed the show, the sun has dried it. He just throws it in that laundry basket again. I don't think we even mention it. There's that great moment in this house earlier when the judge is shooting bullets and stuff. And Frank throws his cereal bowl out the window. Yeah. I just love that moment where Michael J. Fox just cavalierly tosses his cereal and bowl and all out the window.

Did you notice what he's eating, Eric? No, I did not. Hell yeah. He is eating booberry. Of course he was. Oh, yeah, dude. I guess fruit wasn't available. No, no.

Well, he's not dealing with werewolves. He can't see them. He can see ghosts. Ghost is it. That's it. God, this guy's a loser. It's another great Ray line looking at the house. But so while she is there, Mrs. Bradley, the old lady calls up, you know, and she's like, oh, Frank, the evil one is in this house. You have to help me. So Lucy instead goes over while Frank is still locked up here. And, you know, Ray dutifully follows her along here. And it's a great, like, Ray sees the house from the ghost POV. And it is just fucking evil central here. house. It's kind of got a face of its own like, like, if a building dies or becomes

derelict, can it become a ghost too? Yeah. And we're doing the switcheroo here. So the the mother seems like the evil one and she's like, you know, Dee Wallace is like, apparently they hired De Wallace because she was the mom in E.T. So it seemed very much like she and she plays it very sweetly and like scared and whatever. And basically like she rushes her into her room. Like my mother is let me leave and all this stuff and like,

you have to hide the closet, what have you. My mother makes me keep the ashes of my father in the room because after the murders and the court trial or whatever, my father committed suicide. You get a look at this, this is a fucking urn, your fucking racist grandfather would be buried in.

It's like, well, a little, why? A little too sharp. A little, a little, a little Nazi-esque there at the top of it. I think Albert Spear designed this. I don't know exactly. But yeah, I see what you made. just a little decorative in a certain way

I got you she says I'm evil just like Johnny and like the mother has kept all of the newspapers of the murders and the trial and everything and Lucy's like

oh come on Patricia you're not like that anymore and I'm like based on what lately? I know we're being a little presumptuous here Lucy you know it's oh it was a long time ago

you're probably fine now but we do she also finds the the utility knife. Yes. FB written on it, which means Frank Bannister. That's right.

Right in Mrs. Bradley's closet. What are you doing, Frank? You think someone's going to steal your amazing utility knife? I mean, if you are living more or less like a homeless person, you have to like label your shit like one.

This is mine. This is even earlier, Chris. This is when he's a full on drunk. So yes, you have to label everything to be showing. This is mine actually. Yeah. Well, yes.

Even worse. I think it's also because like being on construction sites and stuff, like you label your tools so someone doesn't walk off with one of your things here. But we see, you know, Lucy's starting to, she's like, I'm going to distract my mother. You sneak out of the house or whatever. Lucy's trying to sneak out. We see the urn start a bubble in here, you know, which is a nice little practical effect. Like what's going on?

And then, oh, there's the ghost back behind the wallpapers, you know, stocking Lucy down the stairs. and Ray comes back in and he's I like that he's like really rotting like this is again like the Griffin done kind of deal like you know rotting away here and he's like you know you got to get out of here Lucy get out of here and then like the ghost rips his face off this is a cool little effect here tosses the whole ghost body on her car dude this thing like just slumped down like just like a skin sack looking almost when they do that with Stewart that's such a great effect I love that so much I think that the effects work sometimes what I appreciate is what they're trying to do with the

especially with the carpet stuff and the and the wallpaper thing is basically do your old fashioned ghost in a sheet. We're trying like we're trying to make it for the 90s. You know what I mean? Make it big and scary and new and like how do you make ghost to the sheet scary? This is the way you try it. And I think the effects are what they are. But sometimes sometimes it works. Yeah, I think it's just when the thing is sort of flying around

as the Reaper and the Reaper is fighting. That's where I think it brings. breaks down the most. I think all the stuff with the, you know, more human-formed ghosts, I actually think all of the people and the things that happened to them as ghosts look pretty good. It feels like, to me, it's like maybe we ran out of money for this Reaper part of it and the people, like the Shy McBrides were kind of, you know, finished beforehand or something. Yeah, it's like a, you know, shimmery blue glow on people. Hey, just do that and have someone dress up as the Reaper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Easy enough. Um, but so she, she,

goes to visit Frank in jail here and you know she's like Frank old lady Bradley's in trouble like we have to help her and you know he kind of just rolls over on the on the cot in the jail cell and she calls him a hypocrite you know what are you afraid of blah blah blah and he turned I like this because

we know what he's afraid of turning around right here and he doesn't have to say it but he doesn't want to look at her forehead and see that there's a number there and he eventually like does you know move over and look and at that moment she does not have a number on her head and he's like kind of he's almost like peeking at her like through his fingers he's so nervous to look at her um but then

like the ghosts drop in there and they you know watch her hug frank or whatever but then uh oh now she's boom she's got the numbers so it didn't last too long but the sole collector attacks and we got a little fight in the the jail cell here where stewart and cyrus come to try to help him and uh poor stewart right here i think we got him sithe jammed into his fucking ghost head and Shy McBride you see him sort of die but he's like holding the the Reaper back as like they escape

kind of a thing because you do the classic you call the bewildered guard knock him out easy peasy in jail movies I want to be in a jail that has just a sleepy guard that I could figure out a way out of there you know those are the days

oh man one dude loop keys that's what I want exactly that's what I really want a doc holiday situation And then they leave the broom there and you take it and you go get the loop key and you get it back. He's drunk off his ass. If you're Stanley Ipkins, the mask.

Exactly. If you could get them if possible. You know what I mean? That's what you want ultimately. Some kind of funny ruse would help you very well. Of course. While they're escaping, they're stopped by Milton. Dammer's there and like Lucy's just like, oh, no, I'm, he's gone crazy.

And then she goes against a fire extinguisher and sprays him. And I love that this is very cartoon. moment of he's in like all the gas or whatever a fire extinguisher does and Frank kicks him and the gun flies up like a cartoon. Yes. Love that. Cartoon slash John Woo movie. I like that Chai McBride essentially gets the human death but as a ghost.

Yeah. Like he's like he crushes his heart even though he doesn't have a heart. That's right. It's an interesting little take there. And the only way to beat him is suicide, it seems. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Just walk away Lucy.

I'm going to shoot myself in the head. Just come on. It's funny because he says, like, I have to have an out-of-body experience. Now, generally, when we say that, we mean someone who had that and then came back to tell you about it.

He's just putting the gun to his head, and I'm like, that's like a permanent out-of-body experience. Frank, that's not what you were talking about. And here's the move, Michael J. Fox. You make Lucy watch it. And then now all of a sudden, you can communicate with her

because she's been traumatized by it. Right. Exactly. Now you're going to have a girlfriend. But she's got a good idea to Kvorki and him instead. Yes. Yes. Yeah, we're going to inject you with something to slow your heart rate down.

And then we will put you in this freezer where I will turn it to zero Celsius and freeze you. So you can become a ghost. Yes, have basically a chillier flatliners experience. And the only problem with this is that they didn't kill the FBI agent. They really, you really had to do that. because if not, they come back. They're like fucking cockroaches. They always come back.

Yes, he comes back with a fucking oozy, which is such a good detail too. That's so funny. I didn't know you had an interest in cryogenics. And he's... Why would we want to revive him? Fucking oozy comes out. Exactly.

Fucking great. And at this point, you keep expecting him to have the mustache trolling thing like that. But of course, I've always been involved with Bartlett's schemes. And it never happens. No. Frank does pop out.

out of his body. And it's so funny, like, he sees the light, ignores it immediately. No interest whatsoever. He's got something to do here. But I got to say, we are getting these guys, like, and it's a movie, whatever. They are like romantically interested in each other. Like, this woman hasn't been a widow a week. We're doing like the, I'm kissing my hand and putting it on the door before I freeze you. And like, he fucking kisses his hand and puts it, you know, up to hers. And I'm like, we're not kissing hands. It hasn't been eight days. What are you talking about? We're moving fast.

That's it. I think if, I mean, because I don't know, I don't think any of us have been in the experience of being in a dead marriage. But if you have been, such as loose has, I think. She's ready to go. Someone just comes in and breathed life into you're just ready to do it. Kind of amazing though, Chris, because the other thing I was going to bring up that you just did too, you're calling her loose. He's like shortening this woman's, I'm like, no, this is, no. This is way too soon for nickname me.

You got three Escalibur dinners maybe. Exactly. Those are good rules. That's not bad. Yeah, three. And the third dinner at Excalibur is you get a fucking, a good night kiss, maybe a fucking Hey, Jay before she gets out the car. And you can call her loose.

Like that's, that's all we're doing. But, you know, he's, I do like that when Michael J. Fox becomes the ghost, too, he's like kind of slipping all over the place. He doesn't quite have, like, the physics. Like, he, you know, floats through the floor by accident, which is funny. but so then Combs has now taken Lucy hostage here and handcuffed her to the car and I do like so Eric you mentioned the thing about how he's always like sitting down and then standing up the great payoff for that is before he gets in the cop car he takes out the hemroyd donut pillow and puts it down and does like a ooh like as he sits very careful great great detail and then he gets scared again because she starts yelling at him and he puts on the radio great Sonic Youth cover of Superstar comes on love it. Great.

It's so good. And yeah, we're driving down. Frank sees that the sole collector is like chasing the cop cars. So we're all, you know, Frank is flying. Like you see Michael J. Foxx like flying as a ghost, which is kind of cool to intercept them. And this is like, this is some fun ghost physics, looney tune stuff. Like Frank's ghost is getting like repeatedly hit by cars and like the tire marks are

being like pressed into his body. Like he's widely coyote. Like it's just, it's goofy fun. The problem here for me anyway, like this is the, the first of many like is this the end of the movie? Because it's like oh, then we go to the graveyard and all the ghosts are going to get the bat. We've set up all the

army and he's got the guns. This is going to be the end of the movie. It is the first of three times it could be. Yes. I mean, it's a Jackson special. Yeah, so it's a return of the king situation. That's what I was trying to get at before. It's like it just feels a titch too long. Yeah. Because we

get there and you know, basically this is a great Jeffrey Combs. He just kind of reveals himself to be a nutcase. my body is a road map of pain he's got a cool like he's got like all these scars and a pentagram tattoo and all this stuff and like you know she just realized these are lunatic she's been handcuffed to the car

you get a good caption muttering gibberish so you know that he's in a right state of mind is that line a reference from something else that's what I'm just seen this movie a thousand times which line muttering gibberish no my body is a roadmap of pain I think it's this I always knew it from this

but it's very relatable. But pain has its rewards, right? And then he starts thinking that maybe through all of his dealings with the whatever cults that did this to him, maybe he is pushing the car with his mind and turning it on. But it's actually Frank. Wait, stop, stop, stop, no. But yeah, Frank is actually driving the car. and Arly Ermi pulls him out of the car. No, ghosts don't drive cars and, like, throws him back in a grave, which is very funny.

Yes. And then the cop car going backwards with no driver now hits the skeleton shed, and there's tons of skeletons falling all over the place. That's so good. That's where he goes on the skeleton. I did look it up, and it is from this movie. Yeah. So there you go. But, yeah, so, like, it's a big fight.

Arly Arly army eats shit immediately gets cut in half by the sky. and now Michael J. Fox has the two big guns. That's kind of fun. It's kind of interesting that you can transfer them. Like you just pick the mic. Yeah, because you know, ghost to ghost transference or something. But like, yeah, like, here's this dude. He's such a macho guy

with his fucking firearms. I'm going to protect this cemetery. Dude, so much for a fucking good ghost with a gun, huh? Yeah. It's true. It's ridiculous. But I do like Michael Fox's, hey, asshole. And he just starts shooting these chain guns. Like, listen, if I ever thought I was going to like

watch a movie where. Michael J. Fox is using two fucking chain guns in either hand. And then there's a fun effect of throwing the last piece of Johnny onto the, you know, death onto the tombstone. And it's revealed that it is Johnny Bartlett. And he's the face dripping down. I thought this looked pretty good for what it is. Yeah. Yeah.

The Bucie face here. Bucie face is really good. This part's really good. And it's, it's, and again, like, it's just sort of like, it seems like, okay, this is the end. But no, we realize, uh-oh, what's her face was in on at the whole time. And that's where Lucy is going to sort of. stop it. So much so, Steve, about feeling like it's an ending in the cemetery, too. Like, one of the things that happens, like, so like, all the other ghosts come up and say, hey, thanks for that.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at. Like, because he, when Frank shoots the shit out of Busey, falls to a bunch of pieces and then, like, the T-1,000, like, liquid ghost, like, goes into the ground and, like, gets away or whatever. But then there's old time, yeah, all these ghosts come out, this old-timers, like, thanks for avenging my death. I was the final one, number 12. I'm Henry Sinclair. Like, we're introducing. introducing us to a guy named Henry Sinclair or Harry Sinclair or whatever it is. But let's let's let's keep the engine moving here. Just give me a minute.

I have to survive this murderer. Thank God I wasn't in the theater and I hadn't had a big old soda because I would be like, okay, that's the end. Okay, good. Oh, no, wait. Why are we going back to that? Come on, shut the fuck up. Don't go back to my house.

That happens to be so. I'm like, oh, shut up. Shut up and Ed. Please shut up. And then. I got a pee. But yeah, you know, so Bucy reforms like in this crypt. under the cemetery and Frank dives in to sort of chase after him.

This is where I was like this ghost CGI. Now it's getting a little, little not great here. But you know, Frank is sort of like roasting fucking Bucci with his own scythe right here and it's working like he's getting ready to fucking kill this guy. And then uh-oh, he vanishes because Lucy has revived him from the freezer and he was like just

he's like Johnny Bartlett, he's back. You know, we got to get Patricia out of that house. we go to the Bradley house. You are, so, all right, so now we're at the Bradley house. Maybe the Bradley house is where we're going to do it here. And, you know, Mrs. Bradley's freaking out. And, you know, she says, Lucy says, we're like, why do you have, this is great. Why do you have Frank Bannister's knife in your closet?

And like a teenage girl, she's like, you were in my room. I think she rungs to, I guess, collect herself to that reality. And then Patricia runs up after her leaving Lucy downstairs. Yeah, this is immediately where you know the turn when she comes back down. is just like mother wants to go to the police now. And I was like, you fucking butchered that lady up there. And then we get this like kind of parlor scene with Johnny's ghost and Patricia. And, you know, I want to do it now.

That'll give us 41. That's eight clear of Gacy. Another nine who broken Bundy's record. And I can't wait to see Ted's face when he hears the news. Dude, how fucking great is that? Because like, Bundy had just died like, what, two years prior to that? Like, didn't he die in like 94 or something? Oh, I don't know.

Poor guy, though. I don't wish that on anyone. Let me kill her now, baby, it'll be 41. I know it doesn't sound like his father, but it's close. 89. 89 was in. Oh, so it hadn't happened yet. Okay. So he's waiting. He's waiting for it.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, 89. Oh, so he was dead. He's long dead. I thought he said 99. Oh, shit. 42. Am I, I, I'm an older man now than he was there? And I, and then I beat him.

And then I see Ted Bunny riding a horse in front of me. I'm older now than he was when I was a boy. And I woke up. Ted Bundy's building a fire down the way the road a little bit. And I'm supposed to join him there. I remember I had another dream where I lost some of Ted Bundy's money, but I don't remember how that one ended. But yes, there's also a Russian serial killer of some kind. Yeah.

Yeah, Andre Chittatio or something like that. He was actually a Ukrainian guy who killed and ate Russians. Oh, cool. Yeah, something, something. like he was convicted of like killing and eating some of like 52 people but he like traveled

for work and so like people assume that it's actually like somewhere in the triple digits like this guy killed a ton of people and then Johnny's like that record should be held by an American that's right I'll tell you this though about this guy this Andre

Chichotillo because I saw like the the reference on the IMDB trivia but I weird thing. And this happens sometimes. I think Bundy's probably got one. When there's like real people including serial killers who have IMDB pages, which this guy has and I have to tell you, Andre Chiquotillo, he's got kind of a pretty snazzy IMDB page. Like if you showed the picture, like the profile picture, if you showed it to somebody, you'd be like, name that famous

1970s European film director. And you could fool anybody. Like it just looks like a head. headshot and it's like this dude just eight fucking 50 plus people. Is there a photo of him holding the golden bear in a Berlin film festival? Yeah, he's fucking right next to Orson Wells. You know, she's doing a good job here. Dee Wallace is going back and forth with like the kind of like the sinister stuff. I like the space work she's doing with like.

Yes, like caressing. Yeah. And it's pretty great. She's very clearly playing close to the vest like being sinister here. but you know and she's about to kill her with a big old knife and Michael J. Fox comes in the house and now it's a big we're running around the house we find the dead mother she's butchered yes she finds the mother butchered which sort of like sets everything off because then like she runs in as like holy fuck that woman's cut to ribbons Patricia runs up from behind with a huge knife that there was the great shot of Jake Busey being like what do you say babe and it's just like these all these knives like hanging up on a wall but yeah Patricia now just like The carpet goes to strangling Lucy. Frank tries to break it up. This woman is just shooting the shit out of her own house at this point.

Johnny then like flies back into the urn and you see like they sort of wipe off the bottom of it. Like his name is on it. It was never the father's urn ever. It was always his ashes that she was hanging on to. And then you're like, all right, well, how could this movie end in this house? Oh, what's that? We need fucking sacred ground. Oh, well, there's an old church at the fucking condemned nut house.

And it would just right up the, I like how that Michael J. Fons, it's right up the road. It's fine. It's fine. It's just one more thing. It's down the streets. I see, I swear. You can see it. Look if you look at it. You can see it. Another thing adds to the runtime once they get there, you do the flashbacks of showing the killings from before, which I could have just known from the newsreel. Because I like this stuff, though, because I think it's some of the most haunting shit in the movie. It's a nice, like, the color palette completely changes. It's very jarring. I don't know particularly. He's part of it.

So it's like, is it, now, it's because the house is a dead person as well, giving him a memory of the past. What's the physics of having a, a ghost realm that he walks into of this moment happening? Well, that's sort of the tone tension problem that I have. And it's fine. It's just my one man's opinion, one short man's opinion. But the, like, it's like if Ghostbusters had like flashbacks to Ivor Shandor doing rituals and stuff, you'd be like, that's not. that's not this movie, right? This is a fun...

But in that analogy, it would also be like Vankman or whoever, like a part of it and experiencing it as if he was there as well. Well, that's what I mean, but it's just sort of, it's sort of out there. And it's a little late because I think that he, Jackson and Walsh really liked this backstory, which is very good.

It is good. But it's sort of like, they need to make sure you hear all of it where I don't think you need to. Right. And I guess, you know, we're also setting up for the turn where she was also there shotguning people.

Yes. Yeah. All right. And doing all the carving. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, so wouldn't you know what Jeffrey Combs has also followed them to the hospital somehow. So he's now stalking around and everything. Patricia's walking around with the big knife.

In the in the, I'd like this. It's like she's walking around in the, in the, you know, illusion with the, with the knife because she was doing the carving. And then like when the illusion fades away and there she is as an adult like firing on Michael Fox with a shotgun. It's kind of a cool transition. I was talking about the screenplay earlier. I do like how it all comes together here where it's like Milton gets got by Patricia, just by sort of happenstance.

I like how things all come together here. Yeah. Oh, he gets his head blown right off. It's great. I love the head blown off with the ghost head that's right there. It's such a funny joke, especially using your own rules for the funniest way possible. And making it, you know, a shotgun to the head

and not look graphic. Yes. But that's like what, it's such an awesome thing because, like, Jackson was getting so much shit to cut this down to a PG-13. And every time he took stuff out, they were still like, no, including like, you had someone shoot at that door too many times or whatever. And he got so frustrated.

And they just were like, you're not going to get a PG-13 rating for this movie. And he was like, okay, if you refuse to do it, then fuck you. And changed Combs' death from getting just shot in the chest to this great. And it's like, it's one of the best moments of the movie. I agree. So let the dude fucking. cook. Blow his head off.

And then like now it's just Lucy and, uh, she's got the shock. And she, I love how D. Walls just chokes out Michael J. Fox because she's like, dude,

yeah, with this fucking like shotgun to his throat. Cause she's like five, seven and he's like, oh my God, you're enormous. You're towering over me. How am I supposed to fight this hulking beast?

There is, uh, Frank. at that point also right before the head gets blown off Frank gets like shot by him like in the arm and he winds up like to do we didn't mention but the way he gets the shotgunning to work is he throws himself through a hole in the floor

and he falls like four stories down and lands on like a medical bed ooh yeah that's tough but while that when that happens he remembers finally the rest of the thing with his wife and he has the vision of there's de wallace fucking carving the 13 into the wife's head and the Busey ghost is right there. This is the weirdest one. This is the one that I don't like because it's the Reaper.

And then it's basically Jake Bucy taking off like a Harry Potter invisibility cloak. Like it's like it's a costume. Yes. For him. And it's a weird like that should have never be a thing. Well, it doesn't make a ton of sense why he has a Reaper cloak in the first place. Didn't he have to die with it on? I don't know.

And doesn't he also want to, doesn't he want the credit for the killings? Well, he. He, there's some weird thing where he's like, I took the role of the soul collector. Like the soul collector is a normal thing. Yeah. He took. Yes. I mean, the soul collector, I think instead of saying the Reaper, like that's what we're doing here.

I guess. Yeah. Because that's what that's what the judge is talking about. Wait. So hold on a second. Is that because it's like utility knife to people in New Zealand not know grim reaper? It's, it's possible. That's possible.

Peter Jackson is wearing a grim reaper t-shirt. Like, it's telling you that this is the grim reaper. right so like yeah i think i don't know down under folks is that what you call the grimmer if you're a ghost it's a good person to pose as right i'm sure you get right into any club so maybe oh fuck don't let that guy touch you you'll die let him

let him through the velvet rope i would have loved to see him steal this his threads you know this is it seems like a very nice cloaked ass and it turns you into a mud person for a little bit i guess how does d wallace die again oh the fucking best way

possible. Frank Bannister, newly minted ghost again, literally pulls her soul out of her body. I was surprised. How does he do? Okay, sure. I mean, that's a fucking fatality and a half, dude. Yeah. He rips it. And like basically the, the vortex is taking everybody up to heaven. I got your girlfriend, Johnny. Yeah. And we're all going there. And they think that they've won. But uh-oh, here comes the world's worst demon slug thing. This thing. I'm sorry. And then all these little penises come out.

A little tremor guy. It's as bad as spawn. Like the hell bot like the hell bottle. No, no. Let's let's. It's as bad as spawn. No, no, no. Spawn is much better.

I think Spahn is just housing this. I'll take Andrew's side here. It is, I mean, it's a giant, like, beetle juice sandworm thing that just, like, gobbles them down to hell. But part of it is Cyrus and Stewart are there to be like, uh, uh, and it's pretty cool because like, here's Cyrus. he's got his Stogie finally. He's wearing cooler clothes.

Stewart's dressed like Eddie Murphy and the Raw special. I don't know what that fucking deal is. That's what he always wanted. He always wanted. Cyrus says he's getting a lot of action up there, a lot of good. Oh, that's right. The honies. The honeys are really good.

Excellent libraries, premium cigars, and the honeies. Couldn't believe I heard the honies. Oh, I mean, product of the time, of course. Well, in the Wikipedia summary, they describe Cyrus as street. wise and I think that tells you everything you need to know why you're saying the honeies. But so Frank sees his wife and this is

a nice, you know, hey, it's time to go home. I already am home and they're like, hey, no, having authorities say it's not your time yet so you got to go and Cyrus does a good start living dude. The wife says be happy and you know what? This is about as much fucking coming to grips

with trauma as I need in a paranormal movie. I'll tell you right now. I understand that that guy had a tragedy in his life and it's fucked up his life and at the end the paranormal journey has somehow helped him closure you know bring closure to that that's all you need folks all right we don't need to fucking elevate anything okay come on now this is totally satisfying and he wakes up in lucy's arm so he's here's the next fucking lady friend ready to go ready to go ready to go yeah i do love they are just like cradling each other and fucking de wallace's dead body is just in the background and then it just

cuts to like outside of banister Manor, what is you going to do? Rebuild it brick by brick. Hell yeah. No, I'm going to pay people to fucking tear it down while I clink champagne flutes. I'm going to keep my porta potty. It's been my port-a-potty. This is staying here.

I was thinking about adding some new structure down to the south wing, actually. For the ghost. Containment unit. Yeah, exactly. But yes, we're happy. And Roger but actor, you forgot this guy was in this movie. I don't leave. I got one more joke for you. And I'm like, wait, you're going to love it.

No, put the credits away. This is going to be fantastic. What do you, I thought for a second you think it's like a sequel set up? Because he's like, Hey, Frank, what do you know about Ouija boards? And I was like, come on. Right. Yeah, that's me. It's doing. It's it. It's cleaning up a little bit of like, how did D. Wallace get, you know, Jake

Bucy back from the desk. Like, oh, a bunch of Ouija boards in her house. That's all you need to know. I was thinking about writing a book. And I'm like, okay, we're good. We're good here. I like this little ending, though. The collaborator on the book thing, whatever. But like, why not use your guardian angel and Milton Damers is just sitting in the squad car as a ghost. It's so good.

But what I really love about that reveal, though, right? Because when he says that, we cut to the car and it's the front seat and nobody's there, right? And what the movie, they're making you think, Peter and Fran with their screenplay in this moment, they're making you think like, oh, because he defeated the Reaper and everything, he's lost the gift and he's fucking with him, which is nice. And then it's the double turn of we drive away and there's fucking Milton Dammer. Amher's arrested for eternity in the backseat, which I love. And then like another turn on top of that of Lucy now is able to see ghosts as well.

And she makes a comment about Dammer's being in the backseat. And that's how she tells Frank. And the chase with the blanket is cute. The Don't Fear the Reaper ending. There it is. The decent enough cover. I had to shazam it by the mutton burns. This group was called.

One of one of two 1996 covers in a horror movie of Don't Fear the Reaper, the other one, Scream on Patreon. I believe right now. Oh, right, yes. That is, if you are listening to this on the day it comes out, which is the Tuesday, the sixth, I believe, this Thursday the 8th, our We Love movies on Scream is coming out. There you go. Another horror movie with a pretty decent sound track.

Full-length episode, all about Scream. Great film. That's right. But that is the end of this movie, The Frighteners. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts. Steve Saneck. Light recommend. Definitely could see people.

like it. I think it's really well made. I think there's a lot of great performances in it. I think it's overstuffed. I think the tone is way too all over the place for me to really love it. But I can totally see people digging it. So there you go. There you go. Chris Cabin. Yeah. A heavy recommend. I've seen

this movie at least like 20 times. I've seen this. I had two VHS tapes of this for sure. One ran a little ragged got in there a little too often. Yeah, you kept rewinding that museum scene where the mummy was getting home. It's hot, it's high.

And you can only use the basic instinct to have so much. Beat it wrong. Eventually, you need to get some new. But yeah, I think this is Michael J. Fox, you don't get many performances like this from him. So it was interesting on that level alone. But I think everything else is filled out really well. If you're going to like something that's over stuff, I think this is the right way to do it. There's a lot of ideas here.

A lot of comedy that works, which really is the big thing with horror comedy. usually it does not. This one does, and I love revisiting it. I used my own Blu-ray for this. Oh, there you go. I'm actually waiting because Arrow, it doesn't come out to the end of this month, but they're putting out of 4K with both the cuts.

And I've never actually seen the Jackson director's coach. Should say also that Michael J. Fox making this movie in New Zealand was what made him realize he was tired of making movies and traveling away from his family. And he wanted to be back in California to just make TV. And that's why he's never, unfortunately, been able to star in a movie since this one, unfortunately. But there you go.

Mr. Sisko, what are your thoughts, my friend? It's a big recommend for me, but I do see the issues with it. Like maybe, yeah, it is a little overstuffed. The tone I don't really mind so much. But, yeah, I mean, I think it's a lot of fun. I really had a good time revisiting it. It has been a little bit. So, yeah, give it a spin, y'all.

Yeah, no, it's a big recommend for me with the caveat of like, yeah, maybe a little peppering of nostalgia in there on my part. And yeah, I mean, we are playing grab ass during that third act. There's no way around that. So, you know, that's going to be maybe a little bit of a mileage may vary, as will be some of the unfinished CGI, you know, that could bother you. But yeah, I just, it's a goofy paranormal movie that, you know, I've always had fun with.

And I am looking forward to that Peter Daxon director cut. But that is it. That is going to do it for this episode on The Frighteners. But as we've been saying, if you want more We Hate Movies, check out that Patreon. It's patreon.com slash We Hate Movies. If you're new to the show, over there, we release these exact same We Hate Movies episodes that you're getting here with the commercial feed. But it's 100% commercial free over there.

So you can get those every Tuesday, just like you can get those here with the commercials. And a bevy of side shows that we've developed over the years, including, like we said, this Thursday, the 8th, a We Love Movies episode on Scream is coming out. That's a long guy. We went long on that. You know, one of the best horror films of the things. 90s, so that was a lot of fun to revisit and goof around on and Steve and I kind of realizing that maybe Randy Meeks wasn't the best character to idolize when we're in middle school.

Super cool. But also this week on Friday, Chris Cabin, Melrode 210 is dropping. Merle 210, we're back. At 90210, we are dealing with actually a Jim and Cindy episode. You would hope you don't get as much as you like, but it is Jim and Cindy time. a lot of stuff is happening some big life events might be right around the corner for you

Melrose Place of course the demon and the demons in the cauldron are still stewing everybody's having fun you know Michael has really it seems like the the king devil might finally have his crown at the end of this episode

so I really have been enjoying this and I thought this episode is really fantastic there you go next week next Thursday the 15th all the spooktacular is spilling over as it does on a good number of our side shows here this month on once in a lifetime and steve saydak you found this one it's a it's not a technically a lifetime movie it's a spooky one for mr west craven it is called invitation to hell it's like a 70s tv movie that he did man he did a couple of these uh there's one with linda blair this one has

susan lucci chiller is another one yeah this one is like the it's like a country club but you know, once you get in, you don't get out kind of a thing. I think Robert Eurek is one of the stars too. I believe so. I think there's an astronaut involved. I like that. You always had to talk about an astronaut in the 70s. It's fan. Fantastic.

Yeah, so that's coming out, of course. And then later this month, Steve, also on animation damnation. We get a little spooktacular. We are. We're finally covering, like, classic Scooby-Doo. We've never done this before. I think we've done the new adventures or whatever the hell that was from a couple years

ago. But this is like classic, regular regular Scooby-Doo, and it's a Halloween one about, I think it's about a witch, so there you go. There you go. And that's October 22nd. October 23rd, Eric, is this Gleap Glossary character spooky in any way? Well, he's disgusting.

He's ugly. He's a floating pile of shit. I'll take it. He's a Jedi master Bodo Baz. I think yeah, he might be dead in a holocron or so. Well, we'll listen to the episode. Hey, we'll find out. We'll figure it out. And then, yeah, for all you,

horror hounds. You know, this is our time of year, of course. But the 28th of this month, the fifth edition, that's right, Scareddy Cats 5. Scarity Cats, of course, is our top tier Patreon video and audio podcast show where we talk about modern horror that you, the audience, votes on at a poll from the previous episode. So yes, Scarity Cats 5 dropping October 28th, see us talk all about, that's right, long

legs, my friends. Oh, he got my long legs out, or whatever he's saying. Yes. something something he basically sounds like Paul Bearer I'm excited to revisit that one yes I was yeah it'll be a fun

convo for sure oh I saw it just the one time so it's going to be awesome to revisit that sucker so look for out for that to be able to watch or listen to and that week also should say Steve said like the 27th so that Tuesday before our live stream show speaking of the top tier that's right we're talking we're answering your questions on after dark right in beforehand on Patreon or just watch and ask along.

It's super fun, casual hang. Maybe some Halloween costumes ask might be worn something like that. That might get something together. You never know. You never know. No promises. So that is just an outlook at some of the bonus stuff on Patreon for the month. But as always, and especially doing the spectacular, we hate movies, rolls on.

The show continues next Tuesday, Steve. What classic slasher, IMO, are we? talking about. It is Friday the 13th part six. Jason lives one of the best of the whole franchise. It's not the best depending on who yes. I love this one. I really love this one. I cannot wait to talk about it.

I said on Letterbox this was Baby's first Friday the 13th movie so I do have a special place in my heart for it but yes bonus points for the Alice Cooper music bonus points for the fucking awesome RV stunt flip shot that I think might be the biggest action shot in

Slash or cinema. That are the and the truck, the tanker going down the hill and a rumple stilt skin maybe could compare, but this RV gets flipped in this movie and it's a lot of fun. So we'll be talking all about that and more next week when we are chatting about Friday the

13th Part 6. Jason lives until then. I've been Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Sisko. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.