We Hate Movies - S17 Ep890: Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives (1986)
Episode Date: October 13, 2026“Oh, they’re not doing re-shoots here…” - AndrewOn this week’s episode, the 2026 Halloween Spooktacular is just getting warmed up as we break down one of our all-time slasher faves, Friday ...the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives! How hilarious is this cold open with Tommy Jarvis and Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter? Is there another stunt in this franchise that comes close to the awesome RV flip in this movie? Is this the funniest Friday the 13th script? Has there been a better pop song used in these movies than Alice Cooper’s “He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)” that we get at the end credits here? Is that cemetery groundskeeper a fart head? And how about that sheriff’s murder, huh? PLUS: Apparently Thom Mathews and James Karen corresponded with one another long after The Return of the Living Dead kick-started their friendship!Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives stars Thom Mathews, Jennifer Cooke, David Karen, C.J. Graham, Kerry Noonan, Renée Jones, Tom Fridley, Darcy DeMoss, Vincent Guastaferro, Tony Goldwyn, Nancy McLoughlin, Alan Blumenfeld, Matthew Faison, Ann Ryerson, Whitney Rydbeck, and the late Ron Palillo as Allen Hawes; directed by Tom McLoughlin.This episode is brought to you in part by HIMs! Ready to reach your goals? Visit hims.com slash whm to get personalized, affordable care for weight loss, hair loss, sex, testosterone, and more. And also by Gametime! Get your friends together, get your tickets, and tell them it's Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code WHM for $20 off your first purchase!Be sure to visit the WHM Merch shop over on Dashery and check out all the latest show-related designs you can slap on t-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, stickers, whatever! Make your friends jealous by flaunting some WHM merch today!Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This week on the program, we're talking about the only Friday the 13th movie and where Jason is called a pussy in front of children.
It's Friday the 13th 6. Jason lives.
I'm Andrew Jupin.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I am Stephen Sadek.
Eric lives.
Fuck you, Jason.
And we hate movies.
We all go a little mad sometimes.
You know, it's Halloween.
I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare.
Sometimes.
It's time to keep your appointment with the Wicamand.
They're coming to get you, Barbara.
It's you seen one too many movies.
Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies.
Movies don't create psychos.
Movies make psychos for creators.
Don't day for an exited.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies.
Thank you for tuning into the fine comedy podcast.
As always, that's right.
Mm-mm, Week 2 of the Halloween spooktacular.
We're talking about Baby's First Friday the 13th movie right here.
It's Jason lives from 86.
directed by Tom McLaughlin, who directed a previous episode,
date with an angel.
Previous episode, the kids jerking off too much?
Cyber seduction.
Colon, his secret life.
His secret life, there is.
That's not, he's not like displaying it for the family.
That should be a secret life.
Should you think we should, that should be a secret.
Those should all be secret life.
Your mom doesn't even know when you jerk off.
But, you know, streaming has allowed them all to flock and they can now make a business out of it.
Steve, the guy who runs the house.
or representatives would disagree with you there.
Mike Johnson.
Appropriate name because he likes
knowing exactly what point out of
that kid's got like every end of the week
he's got to get his old man his little log
every time he's got a little sterk
to jerk tracker.
It's like they talk about genres probably
well no they can't they're not jerkin though
because they're not jerked yeah exactly
so it's like anytime you were tempted
like you got a little boner there you got to tell you daddy about it
usage of time like you just see
like oh this is the amount of time I've not
been jerking off. Okay, yes, Senator, that will be, oh, wait, hold on one second. I'm just getting a text
for my son. Oh, wow. There's a girl on the bus. Oh, God. Oh, you know what? We'll have to table this.
I want to see Mike Johnson go through all of his kids' search history, but I want it POV style.
Oh, like I'm Mike Johnson. There you go. Senator, I want to outlaw cleavage. It is, it's too much now these
days for our young men to constantly get hard in the middle of the day. Then you're making them fill out
jerk off logs. That's how.
you be your father guys he's the father that stepped up
being a stepped up tom mclaughlin stepped up this is a great movie this is a great
movie dude at august first release by the way 19.5 million dollars you know what not
bad it should be in october but it's not so bad for a summer release yeah this one
because this is it's a summer camp so it's yes these are never like halloweony movies
like i think jason goes to hell might be autumn set i feel like there's sounds right dead leaves in
that movie, but like these are, these are summer movies. So yeah, summer release. We're at camp
anyway. I also, this is, in a way, this is, I think it is the funniest, Jason. Easily. Oh,
yeah. And I think it's directed that way to have like more jokes over like, let's, oh, here's more
guts or yeah, here's, here's an explosive head or something like that. Or specifically nudity. Like,
that here's the, here's the gratuitous titties. I mean, like, and they, uh, apparently like,
the studio really twisted his arm. The sex scene, he went up to the lady. And,
And she was like, do you want to take your shirt off?
She said, no.
And he's like, okay.
That's the end of it.
And you know what?
Like she's still getting fucking bald in that RV.
Sure.
There's no lack of like sex.
I mean, she wants to make him last another 10 minutes before he blasts.
Which is something.
It's a tall order.
This Alice Cooper song that she says is 10 minutes long or so.
I don't believe that.
Is there a big solo at the end?
I'm not,
I'm not feeling it.
I'll be honest.
It doesn't sound like crowd rock or anything like that to make.
Maybe there's like a five minutes of silence, like a secret.
track's going to come on afterwards.
That would make sense.
Come on, baby, fast forward the tape.
Come on.
No, you have to last.
There's going to be a funny answering machine after this.
When it goes dark and it's just silence, we're going to soak and then we'll start up again
when the song.
The last jerky boy's track is the best.
I swear, you can't go until after the last sketch.
I also think this movie might be one of the more culturally subversive Jason movies,
the way that he's killing like the year.
yuppies that are going camping with the Amex card floating in the puddle afterwards.
Big time.
The business retreat people are being killed.
I don't think Jason doesn't usually kill these types of people.
Sort of, but not like this.
But that's, I mean, to your point, like, these killings are all, like, what can we do to not get into blood spurs or guts?
Well, a lot of decapitation.
Yep.
Lots of limbs being ripped off.
A lot of in the water.
Of course, I mean, the sheriff one, that is just brilliant.
like thinking of how to destroy a body.
That sounds great.
To your point though, Eric, the killings aren't, and this is something with Glockland was adamant about,
it didn't always have to be, you have sex, then you die, you have sex, then you die,
you have sex, then you die, you have sex, Jason just stumbling upon hot kids and killing them left
and right.
You could just sadly be reading a book in a cabin by yourself while other people are having sex,
and you too could be murdered in this movie.
I just love the whole, like, the paintball guys trying to get ahead in business and
Them being killed. What a brilliant idea.
Me and the counselor just trying to go to sleep.
Like literally that's all that.
And also like Tony Goldwyn, his character and his lady friend that are like the head counselor,
managers of this camp are also like yuppie freaks.
Like they're probably just like money whatever's that are like they're the bosses for the summer
at this camp.
Of course, we don't, we start with Tommy.
It's as, as always, it's Tommy.
and is it was a hawes the other
Alan Hawes? Alan Hawes.
It's Horshack. It's just Horshack.
Ron Polillo, aka Horshack.
Ask your grandparents about Horshack.
They will laugh a lot. There was a sitcom.
Back in the late 70s.
I forget. Welcome back Cotter.
That's Cotter, okay.
Where there was a teacher, you see, who had left the school.
And then he came back to teach again, you see, Gabe Kaplan.
And he was Mr. Cotter. So welcome back, Mr. Cotter.
So that's who are welcoming back.
Because Cotter is back now.
I watched a shit ton of Welcome Back, Cotter in the 90s.
It was that Gen X shit.
I never saw.
Nick at night, it was on.
And then it was like Saturday Live sketches, Gabe Kaplan.
It had like a renaissance.
That's where I knew it from was the skits.
That was where I knew it.
Because everybody liked saying sweat hogs.
Like the guy was the sweathugs.
Travolta was in that show.
You missed the Katta, which is crazy because Travolta's nephew is in this movie.
Oh, really?
Son, get down here.
Yeah, this is Mike.
Johnson, it seems you search
sweat hogs.
But dad, I was just listening to a podcast
they're talking about an old TV show
that I never heard of.
A young John Travolta, I'm going to see,
does he take a shirt off in that at all?
Because I can see, because I'll be honest,
when I see Mr. Travolta, I still, I get a little sweaty.
Okay, no, so first of all,
Horshack sounds a little Jewish, not crazy
about that.
Put that in a different tracker.
Freddie Boom, Boom,
Washington, pardon me?
I don't know about that gentleman either.
yeah so it's the two of them they are driving down the road i do like we get this just shot of like
a dog eating road yeah yes it's fucking great it reminded me of texas chainsaw with the armadillo
oh totally yeah yeah that little guy struggling to survive in that movie a great narrative contrivance
it's a perfect way to start something which is two characters doing something absolutely stupid and
then the other one turns the other says i don't know how you talked me into this it's just it's a
great way to set it up because like now we don't have to talk he doesn't have to be convinced he has
already been convinced he doesn't know how he was but he was which i just always want to see
the cutback and it's like hey man you want to go dig up this body with me yeah all right
like that's how you twisted my arm into doing it okay but you didn't tell me we were going to stab
it all right you told me we're going to go there and we're going to look at it and then we're
going to dig it up but you did not tell me we're going to stab it yeah you just wanted to see it
one last time that's the horse shack at every step in this is just
just like, oh, we're not going to dig it.
Oh, we're not going to do this.
Oh, no.
And of course we're going to dig it up right here.
I'm going to look.
I'm going to open the coffin.
Tommy, you're not going to stick your dick and it's dead mouth.
Maybe that's what Horacek's worried about.
Jason needs to be fucked in the afterlife and I'm the guy to do it.
It's the only way he'll go to hell.
I need to send him to hell.
And then if I fuck him, he'll go to hell.
I guess you humiliate him, right?
Yes, that's right.
But it is hilarious how, like, his motivation changes from the car to the cemetery.
And I think he's just lying.
in a horse shack the whole time because they're in the car and he's
like, I just got to see it.
It's just, I got to know that he's dead and he's in there.
And then when he gets, they dig him up.
It's like, Jason belongs in hell.
And you're like, wait, well, what?
What do you?
What are you planning here?
It's a classic thing.
Your buddy's always telling you.
Like, oh, no, I just need to do this.
I just need to.
He's never going to be happy.
Like, you could, you could burn this body to cinder and he's stupid.
We got to get rid of the, I got to fuck the ash.
I got to put my dick all over the ash and piss in it.
And then maybe he'll die.
You're right, Chris.
this is the one more bar, but instead of one more bar, it's let's go to the graveyard where the guy who killed my mother is.
And so what's great about this, right?
So this, of course, if you're unfamiliar with the order of the franchise or whatever, the previous movie, it's a fellow pretending to be Jason and Jason is dead in the world of the movie.
Roy, the movie. Yes, that's right.
So four, after the events of four, Corey Feldon fucking chops this dude in the head. He's fucking dead, right?
the town gave him a Christian burial and a marked tombstone in a cemetery with everybody else.
You think cremate.
I think apparently in the in, I haven't watched five in a while, I was just reading it up,
but they say that he's cremated in that to get rid of any like that Jason's ever coming back.
And then in this one, they're like, no, he was actually buried.
You know, like, yeah, you're going to miss something.
But like, why would you?
You would do the cremation.
Yes, this guy's, and even if you don't want to burn the body, whatever, you're not giving this guy a marked tombstone.
so psychos like this can come dig it up.
We want to make another Jason movie.
We cremated him.
Okay. Ash the movie.
Deadly ash that spread across the county and people swallow it up and they turn into Jason.
Now everybody's a Jason.
You see like a girl sneeze and then she dies from inhaling it or something.
A guy got axed.
No, I mean, I think that's the one thing they recon because we want our boy back.
We want our big boy back.
And I do like that.
That's my favorite one, I think, because it's the one that takes him for.
from a guy with learning disabilities, relatable,
to supernatural nonstop force.
Relatable.
Relatable.
Nonstop, certainly.
I would go four.
Four is just so quintessentially this,
but six is so,
it's like a hair behind.
Four is like this with like being slightly less entertaining.
This is a fun,
it's a more fun watch.
same, I think, like, quality level.
Four is probably technically a better movie.
Four is the best, I think.
And then this sixth, I mean, it's the vignettes
that really make this thing saying.
It's the fact that we don't care so much about what's happening
with Tom.
I guess who gives a fuck.
We should quickly mention that we did one and two
as commentary tracks on Patreon.
Correct.
We didn't do three yet, right?
We did four.
It's on Patreon now.
It was a moment show.
It was a live show that you can get in the Patreon store, yes.
Five we've done.
We have done five.
And we've done seven as a live show.
in Atlanta and then we did
8 on Patreon
takes Manhattan.
Wow.
Did we do help?
Did we do?
We did go Jason. We did do that guy
Earthworm Jim.
Very early.
And the remake we've done too.
And Jason X is the last show.
We've done almost all.
The third one is funny because
that's the one I really like three
because that's the one where he gets his mask.
There's a big one.
There's also that disgusting couple
that owns like the like market or whatever
that are bickering that whole time.
And he has like bikers.
stuff in that versus in this
when he's killing yuppies and businessmen.
Leave the bikers alone. I know.
What did they do to you?
The kid here as Tommy Jarvis
has been recast because apparently the other one
became born again Christian and like we didn't want to do
this movie ever again. Yeah, well I
become born again Christian if I started in Roy the movie
also. But at the end of the movie you think
it's good they set up the Tommy Jarvis now
and now we're not doing that and that's fine.
You know what? Here's the thing. I am so
much more fine with like retconning stuff for sequels and changing actors or whatever than like
the Marvel we couldn't possibly because Chris Evans is Captain America forever and which is crazy
Jackman is Wolverine forever because they've done that before with uh what's his name uh Batman
the War Machine Bond oh uh War Machine yeah Rhodes yes what's his name Rhodes uh James Rhodes is
James Rhodes is right no but the actor oh Don Cheedell
Don't know
But before done
Turner.
There we
We couldn't get
The Terrence Howard
They think
That was the idea
Yeah
We got lost in the woods
And killed by Jason
Looking for Terrence Howard
Terrence you out here
All right
Real funny Terrence
Real funny
I am out here
And I'm the smartest man
alive
Yeah
Let that guy stay lost
In the woods
Man that's fine
But this is the kid
from now
The Return
to the Living Dead
Tom Matthews
Yeah
Do you think
James Karen
Saw this movie
Like they were
You know
They spent a lot of time
Probably
Return to the Dent
probably great friends.
Correspondence level friends.
We're writing letters.
Oh, like you maybe faked it?
Yeah, it was great.
Congratulations on the new nightmare on crossout Friday the 13th movie.
Your friend James Carris.
Cecilia, do you think that three exclamation points is too much?
Is you going to know it's a fake that way?
I really like the scene where you, yeah, I hope this is true, escaped the killer.
Fuck. He couldn't got killed.
No, it's Freddie. I know it's Freddie. It's got to be that Freddie guy who's going to come and get him.
Dear James, it's so nice that you had so many kind words to say about my new movie.
It's crazy because you told me you were spending the whole summer in Barbados and I didn't think the film was getting an international release.
It's fantastic. It's open down there. Love Tom Matthew.
Just so you know, no, I didn't escape Leatherface. It's Jason. It's Jason.
This is Jason.
It reminds me my neighbor the other day because I have like an inflatable Michael
Myers I put up for Halloween.
Right.
And the guy's walking his dog.
He's like, oh, I see you put up Freddie already.
I'm like, I'm like, yes.
Thank you.
I was like, yeah.
It's my collection.
No, no.
I prefer, I want them all to go further down that road.
Mistake it even more.
That's what I'm looking for.
I see you put up General Patton.
Really, that's what I want.
Wow, a little early for Santa, huh?
Oh, yeah, he's using that knife to cut all those cookies.
He's carving up a turkey.
He's getting ready to carve up that turkey.
Dear James, I was at Pathmark the other day, and I was thinking of you.
Hope you're well.
While I was buying discount ham.
I got sick, but still thinking of you, dear friend.
Dear Tom, the discount ham will do that to you from Pathmark.
I will also be writing the Pathmark CEO to encourage him to put Friday the 13th part nightmare in all Pathmark video rental section.
Now, for younger listeners, there was a grocery store one time called Pathmark.
I think it's still around.
And James Karen was the spokesperson in commercials.
For at least local New York metro area commercials that Steve watched as a kid.
That's all I care about.
I don't know if Pathmark went national with their James Karen campaign.
So Horsack is against digging up Jason.
We do, do you think you could dig up a grave?
Like just tonight if I was like, dude, you think you could do it?
Absolutely.
As long as there's no flock cameras around.
Because they keep clocking my plates going in and out of the.
I see. I'm visiting some relatives for your information.
Ah, Mr. Chisko, we meet again.
There's been yet another corpse missing from the local cemetery, and your plates once again
have come up when we've looked at the camera footage.
I like placing flowers, and I don't like people watching me.
Why do you do it at night, sir?
Honestly, you know, late at night with your buds digging up a bun.
You know, that sounds like a lot.
thing, right? It would have to be
the four of us. It would have to be
the four of us taking shifts because
that's what I've got, the endurance
challenge. That's true. If you were just watching an episode, we're
rewatching Wooders Bay and we got to the
episode where they dig up Hamish
Linklater's character and it's
just, what's his face? Jimmy James
Stephen Root. Stephen Root,
70 plus Stephen Root
digs a perfect open
grade and I was like, no, he's dropping.
That's always the thing in movies and television is the
The corners on this dig
immaculate.
How is that possible?
Right?
That's like so mathematical.
I know.
Like,
come on movies and television.
Like,
just make these holes look not precise.
This one specifically also has a very nice,
perfect like,
it's like lasers,
dude.
You're telling me two fucking weirdos
from the nut house carved this hole?
I don't think so.
Nobody cares that much.
Because that's the thing is like,
I don't know if we should do this anymore.
I'm like, dude,
you're escaped from the nut house.
Just keep going, man.
Enjoy yourself.
Yeah,
you get,
we see Jason's maggot rotting corpse,
which is awesome.
it's Tom Matthews staring into the grave.
And I'm gonna bet he saw not a fucking scent from this.
You hear Corey Feldman's voice doing the die, die from part four.
I was like, that's Corey and he didn't see a dime from this thing.
And we should also mention then, I guess, because of that recasting, this is now this alternates.
This is what causes the alternate future.
Right.
So this is like actually the 90s, but it's the 80s in the timeline.
It's got to be at least like 91 or 92.
Corey Feldman's a fucking like 18, 19, 19 years.
year old kid. The character
that he played is now like 18
or 19 in this movie but
you know as the years went
this is like a year apart from part of it. I guess it's
sort of like Jason like how he's like a grimy
little kid and suddenly he's a big brute.
Maybe there's something in the water out of
Crystal Lake dude these fucking kids are just sprouting
up overnight. It's the third Tommy
Jarvis in two years.
That's very true. Like Doctor Who.
I can't do this.
You got to just pick one. Tommy Jarvis goes
into a Crystal Lake outhouse a bunch of
lights and whistles go off and then it comes out
it's Tommy Jarvis but he's a different guy like
hello guys all the memories of the previous
Tommy Jarvi but now he's a new guy
he's Sonic machete that he has
the Sonic machete hell yeah I do love
that he's like okay we're gonna go I just want to
you know want to put this behind me and I'm probably gonna burn
the body or whatever I'm also bringing the mask
and like what else does he like I'll get him some fresh
underwear
those biscuits he likes
Why are you bringing the mask dude
Yeah, that should not be there
because you're just, you're giving this dude
his costume back.
Give the monster the costume.
Like if Frankenstein gets his fucking jacket back, dude, you're screwed.
And it's like, how did you even get the mask, right?
I mean, I know he used to kill them or whatever, but like,
you just, what do you, you run through the evidence locker before you got it?
Or is he just buying another mask because this guy loves masks?
I probably that.
I didn't look to see, does it have the machete hole in it from where Corey gets him in that?
Oh.
Because if it has the machete hole, that means it's the OG.
which means he either raided an evidence locker
or just stole it from the crime scene that night
because he's getting souvenirs.
Right. And in five, he's got like that bluish mask.
It's a different mask because it's just Roy the ambulance driver.
Yes.
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Different kind of going.
It's absolutely not that one.
Okay.
But wouldn't you know it,
he takes a fence post
or iron wrought fence post
impales this thing.
Horshack with the great line here.
Oh shit.
Yeah, that's right, Ron Polillo.
Get out of that cemetery.
This is none of your business anymore.
This is trying to get to get to a weird therapy session.
You don't want to be a part of it.
It so is, yes.
Fondling metal in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Not exactly my number one.
The great, the Homer at the Bat episode where he's talking about getting caught in the thunderstorm
and he's like, I took the biggest sheet metal I could find and sheltered myself under it as I ran and found the tallest tree.
But there's a great, Tom Matthews throws the hockey mask in the grave.
and he goes, yeah, fuck you, Jason.
Yes.
And then you get the lightning bolt that revives him,
like a Frankenstein kind of deal.
Totally. And now it's, now it's a monster move.
Yeah, that's a real deal, paranormal monster move.
And God wants Jason.
God needs Jason.
Clearly. I mean, he said the lightning down there.
You know what I mean?
Tommy Jarvis is about to light a match for the gasoline to put it on him.
It starts to rain, puts it out.
God wants Jason.
I see your argument here, but I also think it's just, it's the devil's time.
It's the night time.
That's true.
The devil has control of these things, so occasionally he gets to do what he wants to do.
So the night is fully in the control of the devil.
It's definitely when he does his best work.
Or God is just upset.
There's too many people in New Jersey at this point.
You got to say that heard, dude.
Sitting around breakfast at Jesus, like, I can't believe how many people are in New Jersey.
If you believe in a punishing God, I suppose.
Yeah.
That's true, yes.
Old Testament.
Old Testament God.
Props to, I guess, it's the thing.
It's the stuntman C.J. Graham who played Jason in this movie.
I'm assuming he was the guy that they also just did the close-up on the face in the grave.
And like, props to this dude for letting maggots be this close to his eyeballs.
Holy shit, dude.
I'd be afraid they'd like wiggle in there.
So now he has super Jason's strength.
So he could just punch through Ron Polillo like he's nothing.
It's amazing.
It's so good.
What a fucking fatality this guy gets.
Because it's after, here's the thing, Horshack, just run back to the nut house, dude.
or just go off into the night, escape, live your life.
He runs back and hits Jason over the head with this shovel.
Nope, nope.
That is a level of involvement.
I'll never be a part of with a slasher killer.
I want to die.
That's what you do.
You're telling everybody, including the killer that's about to kill you, I want to die.
And so Tommy, like you would, just goes, horshack and then fucking peels out in his truck and drives away.
I do love that the horse shack falls right into Jason's coffin and it closes the lid back down.
That's pretty great.
He's also mastered the heart punch in ways I don't think any other killer has.
Like he has a, it's clearly an open hand that goes in, catches the heart in that moment.
He didn't even have to push it through with it on his hand.
That's incredible work.
He did not even have to do an incantation like Temple of Doom to do it.
No, no, no, no, no.
Right in and out.
No, no, no.
He puts the hockey mask back on.
It's a very cool, like, oh, thanks a lot.
And he like turns around the lightning strikes.
He's got the pole in his hand.
Like, it is like the advertisement for like a Jason.
action figure like he swivels around.
Now with flaming metallic pole.
But it looks so cool, man.
Is this where we get the title card drop
and then the great bond parody?
And that's how you know. If you didn't know
from Ron Polillo being cast in the
movie what the deal was
here, what the intent was. Now you
get the 007 Jason entrance
and he slashes the frame instead of uses the gun.
Horny teens
but that's what
I love about this is there's humor.
but it's not a comedy.
It doesn't like,
it doesn't go like,
oh, it's a joke,
it's a parody of a Jason.
No,
it does all the things
you want a Jason movie to do.
There just is now humor here.
You got like,
as Steve,
you referenced in the intro,
like the funny kids,
like the two boys
that have the one-liners.
We're dead meat.
Yeah,
fucking great.
And like stuff you don't see
in the other movies.
No, not at all.
Exactly.
Because again,
like,
oh, this is the funny one,
that can go bad real quick.
You know what I mean?
Yeah,
oh, big time.
Yeah,
where you're just,
the jokes,
takeover.
Fucking half of them don't land, but you're just, you're, you've been tasked with making
like a Jason comedy, so you're trying to cram all this shit in.
It's not just the winking and the nudging and that.
It's actually committing sincerely to the premise as well.
Well, because they're not trying to cast Leslie Nielsen.
Well, that's a big, big problem.
But like Jason, you can't be serious.
Well, thank God not that Leslie Nielsen, a prom night, which is just like, my daughter died.
And he's kind of a pervert in that movie too a little bit, isn't he?
A little bit.
But that's not in the beginning that you figure out that way later.
But like this one, it is vignettes.
It's not like we're trying to make a comedic arc to the thing.
The way like if you actually saw these work retreat people show up, meet each other, do that whole thing.
Rather than just like, no, they're just in the woods and they get killed the same way that the married, the couple that's about to be married get killed.
It's not their story.
Yeah, they're just, they're the denizens.
of Crystal Lake, or we should say
Forest Green, right? In this movie, they have
changed the name of the town, which I
really like, because this is like showing you
this poor New Jersey town is
like publicly grappling
with this problem that's been happening
throughout the 1980s. I would just
at this point, after the
events of this movie, the town
becomes abandoned. You know what I mean? Everyone just
gets subsumed into other towns.
Like, you know what I mean? Whatever the next town over,
like you maybe change the line. So like
it goes, both of them,
and there's just just the camp is like kind of camp nowhere everything else becomes
oh is camp nowhere mud oh no jason boy is out here i dug him up and he got struck by lightning
it was a real boob move that's a one cap i won't become leit counselor supposed to be a weather
experiment revive jason but uh yeah so he goes in the to the sheriff's office this is where we meet
sheriff garris which i have to believe is a mick garris reference
David Kagan is the actor
This dude looks exactly like John Carpenter
I love it so much
And he's like
His job is to be like
There ain't no Jason
That never was
They never know how no way
You know like that kind of shit
They're totally like
In denial that he could be back
And so this kid comes in
He's like
A dug up Jason
And he's alive
And this dude's like
Come on man
It's a fucking Thursday night
It's also great that everybody's
Oh fuck it's Tommy Jarvis
Oh the Nutthouse is missing one
Like everybody knows this kid's story
Everybody knows
Because it's like local boy
goes to local nut house. There's no
fucking state sanctioned whatever, dude. That fucking
Bones in Crystal Lake. But it's a bummer
he never really got enough credit because it's like, oh, that's
the kid that took down Jason. No,
that's the fucking crazy piece of shit kid.
That's right. He should be the fucking hero
in the town, if not for that stupid
fifth movie. There should be a tiny
Cory Feldman stance shoe.
And he's like a machete.
Dude, it's him with the shaved head and he's got the
machete. This is the center
of town. Dude, and then Tommy Jarvis
is the mayor of Crystal Lake because he's
the fucking hero.
This movie starts,
maybe he's on his second term,
his mayor.
I mean,
we're writing a new Jason movie
right now,
and it sounds pretty okay.
It sounds,
it sounds kind of better
than the fan film
I watched on YouTube
that has Tom Matthews
come back as.
Is that right?
And that's not the beer commercial
or the cider commercial?
No, not the app
of the Angry Orchard.
No,
this was their two fan films
that are like feature.
Is checkoff in there from Star Trek?
Oh, no,
Jason came back to Crystal Lake.
Mischette.
The incoming.
captain. He's stuck in
some kind of nexus that's repeating
blood. Walter keeps talking about
raising the shields. We're making a fucking
slashing. Does this guy know what? Did he
read the script? He thinks we're in Star Trek's.
He doesn't get it.
He does, please. Jesus
chasing me. I tried to stop him, but I fucked up.
This guy's got so many great lines.
I mean, and he's great in Return
to Living Dead as well, but he's really great here.
He starts grabbing at the shotgun and I love
the line of iron him. Like put him in the
iron this punk. Yeah, put it behind bars.
I mean, the sheriff is actually kind of a good guy for the most part because he's just like, he's not, he's like, all right, sleep it off kid.
You're going to go back.
In the beginning, at least, he's just like, kids troubled.
We're just going to send him back to the asylum.
It'll be fine.
Well, because anytime, the problem with putting him up as the hero is that whatever happens, what, 20, 25 people also die.
Yep.
Like, yes, we get Jason, but 25 are also in the ground every time.
And if this is true, we are so fucked.
They would be adding it to like the farmer's almanac.
It's like, I'm getting the sense, maybe 10 kills this season.
Oh, the moon is going to be in such a phase that, yes, 10 kills this season, I think, will happen.
I swear to God, we cannot have Jason back here.
We just changed the name to Forest Green.
We just got the new name plates.
The license plates are in.
They're all forest green license plates.
But, you know, I mean, 10, that's kind of a mild season.
So it's not too bad.
I mean, that's, but, I mean, oh, my knees hurt and Jason must be coming back.
It's not even raining yet.
Dingle in the air.
Got the El Nino coming in this fall.
Looks like going to be a lot of Jasoning happening.
Sheriff, I mean, he is good.
He is for the right and he is trying to get this thing just put under.
But I have a lot of questions about his raising of this daughter of his.
The way that she just kind of casually is like, I think it's the deputy comes in and she's like, oh, he's draining the lizard.
I don't want my daughter, my niece, my anybody to be talking about my dick so casually.
That's when like somebody calls on the phone and she picks it up.
He's like, oh, sorry, the sheriff's draining his lizard right now.
He's got to, you know, got to puncture the dick out there, get it all leaked out.
I mean, that's an interesting expression.
I do wonder what the origins of that.
I bet I could look it up.
Drain the lizard.
We'll drain the lizard.
I think maybe possibly like an extension or an offshoot of trouser snake.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe that kind of.
You know, I mean, that's amphibians, the reptiles, but they're all reptiles.
Well, actually, the Incas of their bladder infections.
Sure.
They would cut the throat of a lizard in order to drain it.
Drain it.
Right.
That makes sense.
And then, of course, you get scale cock.
It's a rare STD where it makes it like reptilian.
Language is always growing.
It is.
That's a beauty of it, really.
Yeah, it's evolving ever so much.
Mr. Witherspoon, yeah, I'm not going to make it into work today.
Yeah, I got a flare up of scale cock.
You guys can't come in.
I'm cutting my.
Lizard. What? I have to
piss. I'm sorry. I just
heard it last night. You know what? It's paid time
off. You don't have to give me a reason. It's like it.
Built into the bylaws. It's fine. Come on, fine.
We cut to
this is the head counselors and the VW bug.
It's Darren and Lisbeth. Darren is, of course,
the great Tony Goldwyn.
Elizabeth, played by Nancy McLaughlin, who you guessed it,
married to director Tom McLaughlin from
1983 to 2018. Not too shabbit.
Yeah, that lasted a little bit.
Yeah, that's not too bad. I
I wonder if, usually in these kinds of situations,
people read for the lead and then they get the lower role.
Do you think Tony Goldman read for Tommy, A number one,
and B number two, do you think his career would be better or worse
or exactly the same if he was, if he actually got cast as Tommy?
Here's the thing, because Goldwyn, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong,
Goldwyn really blows up playing the villain and ghost.
Yes.
Yeah.
Which is after this.
Yeah, in 1990s, like four years later.
I got a feeling if he's like the source.
star of this movie? Probably not. But this is like you get a little bit of him. He was probably doing
theater at the time and stuff too. But I don't think he has the same trajectory. It's better to be
a less a run-on in these kinds of movies as opposed to the lead because then you're the guy.
You want to be Kevin Bacon in Friday one. You don't want to be the lady who played Alice and
live till the end of the movie. You're always looking to be like, oh, he's in there.
Yeah, exactly. A nice find early in the career. Even if it is a character actor reaction,
same thing honestly
it just feels good that's what you want
you don't be like oh what happened to him son
could you come down here I noticed you
you googled Drain the lizard
Drain the lizard is an Australian slang
originating in Barry Humphrey's
cartoon strip that was in private eye
magazine in the late 1960s
Sometimes python or snake is substitute
for lizards see also trouser steak
Oh I know we have fans
in Australia
for the next mailbag.
I want a full listing,
a very good listing
of Australian slang
I have never heard of
that we can say.
It's okay for us to say.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I don't want some of the race stuff.
I don't want some secret slang
against the indigenous down there
or anything like that.
Whatever your bikies are spewing,
I don't want to hear it.
I'm looking for stuff like,
I have to take a shit.
Oh, in Australia,
that's dump the pouch.
We're going to dump the pouch out
into the toilet.
Take a look at the Joey I just took
I mean yeah that's
That is what we're looking for
You're right
None of the race stuff
Stop that shit
My dad couldn't make it
He's dumping the pouch
Oh, gross
He's still dumping the pouch
It's spicy last night
What dad can't come to the door
He's dumping the pouch
Give a little class out of the tire
Melbourne
I do love how ignorant
Tony Goldwyn is here
Because he's like
Just fucking run him down
And she's like
What?
And he's like, he'll get out of the way
Well, this is their self-aware horror movie thing where he's like, I've seen enough horror movies to know that if there's a mask weirdo in the road, you're not in a good place or whatever the line is.
She wants to just like back up and he's like, no, fuck, could drive right through it.
And she's like, I've seen movies, but okay, they play chicken with this dude.
He doesn't flinch.
And then that's a great.
This is like, it reminds me of a lot of Simpsons refs today, I guess.
When they're, they just start driving the itchy and scratchy land and they run into traffic and Homer's like, don't worry everybody.
I have an ace up my sleeve.
just lays on the horn.
This is what Tony Goldman does.
He's like, huh, okay, I'll fix this guy.
And he just lays on the horn.
And Jason's like, nope, fucking takes the iron rod and jams it through the front fender
popping the tire beneath it.
Amazing.
Oh, yeah.
I'll fix this guy, Hornock.
Yeah, that really scared the shit out of him.
He does a really good, uh, all right, scumbag when he gets out of the car.
And he takes out the world's smallest gun.
I've never seen a gun smaller than the gun he's using in this moment.
I guess we didn't see the prior.
scene of him robbing doll man.
Give me that fucking guy.
Give me that to me, Tommy.
Jay's desperate.
Is that a gun?
I can't tell.
Do you rob my friend doll man?
That's fucked off.
I never used it.
Look me got my glasses on.
Getting a little old here.
Oh yeah, that's a gun.
Okay.
I'm so embarrassing.
I'm going to lift the mask up and then put the glasses on.
I love that he just like stabs him through him and hucks him like hay.
Yeah.
Huck him like hay.
And when you look at the stunt guy going over, there's blood in the crotch.
Like he just poked him.
Like he burst his taint and fucking flipped him over.
You don't want to taint burster.
Son, could you come down here?
I noticed you were Googling burst.
Bursted taint?
Did something happen at practice today?
Was there an injury?
That could be the name of our bar, bursted taint.
You want to go get fucked up at the bursted taint?
What does it mean to pop the bag?
What does that mean?
I want to know what that means.
Australians, what do you call it when you burst your taint?
Yeah.
Never really happened, actually.
So he gets Paul vaulted.
Elizabeth runs out, falls down.
Try, again, this is great yuppie shit.
This is also with the credit card.
She tries to give him money.
Money right here.
She's trying to look 40 bucks.
And I want it.
40 bucks in 1986.
That's what I mean.
I want Jason,
oh, 40.
It's all right.
Yeah.
It's eating good tonight.
It's also not even like, here's some money or take the money.
It's, take these or whatever.
Yeah.
It's not even identified as money.
It's what I have.
Here, take it all.
Maybe if Jason took the money, right, and the credit card, goes to a motel, takes a shower,
gets some order in, watches some hotel TV, and then get back to the killing tomorrow,
but leave this woman alone.
You know what I mean?
I totally agree.
Oh, look at that.
Tronson.
This is great.
Throw Mama from the train.
Making me cry.
What do you mean the chicken places are open?
I want it for, oh, gosh, darn.
That's the thing is, I think you're grafting yourself onto Jason to be here.
You give him 40 bucks.
He's buying machetes.
More grass, frogs, and dirt to eat.
That's true.
He'll go to the hardware store, get all the machetes,
or the knife store or whatever,
and then just put the money down,
but then still kill the cash.
Absolutely.
That's all he wants, the death, really, at the end of the day.
This is maybe the greatest American Express commercial.
Yes.
I have so fucking fun.
It's so great.
Because this woman gets the spear through her mouth.
Yes, sir.
And then you see, like, a fake body and, like, the head is underwater.
like gurgling with the post.
And the American Express card like washes out into the little stream here.
Die yuppie scum.
Totally.
Don't leave camp without it, dude.
Yes, sir.
I do love how much play the pole gets.
It's a really cool weapon.
It is.
It's a nice change of pace.
And he does eventually get down the road to get the machete.
So then we get a bunch of the counselors.
We meet all of the counselors for the first time at the sheriff's station, which is interesting.
And I finally caught this detail, which I've seen this movie a bunch of
times and I never really put it together.
But they mentioned, because they're talking about like Jason, this, that, and the other thing at one point.
And they say something about like, oh, yeah, all the stories that our parents tell us about.
And I was like, oh, okay, all of these counselors are like camp, you know, forest green citizens.
And it's kind of like the Elm Street kids like growing up hearing about Jason and blah, blah, blah.
Or Freddie, yeah.
But this is they've grown up hearing about Jason and don't go in the woods and whatever.
So it's kind of cool that like there is.
is that, you know, cult story of Jason in the town still.
Oh, yeah, you got Michael.
I put the sweater in the hat.
I love Michael.
He's great.
I love him.
Michael with his claw fingers.
He's great.
Yeah, the night he comes back.
Who?
Whatever his name is.
No, not Jason.
He's the one that gets you in your dreams, right?
Oh, it's Halloween.
I know Dracula when I see him.
Oh, look at Dracula's knife.
I love Dracula's knife.
That's Chuckie, actually.
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Let's go and see it, folks.
So one of the girls here, it turns out, is Elizabeth's sister, who's like, you know, what's going on, wondering what's going on.
Wondering what happened to them.
And then we also meet Megan, who, yes, is the sheriff's daughter.
This woman is Jennifer Cook playing Megan.
This lady, very interesting.
So she married the founder of Celestial Seasoning's Tea.
Whoa.
A little rich kid here.
Yeah.
But crazy thing.
I wish I wrote down what it's actually called.
That I don't know.
they are involved in basically like a cult
that there's something it's I forget what the
there's a book dude all those tea people
listen to this though listen to this it's crazy writing on the tea leaves
it's a huge like 11, 1,500, 1,500 page book
that is supposedly written by celestial beings
okay whoa whoa oh that tell you like how to live your life
like philosophically and religiously and all this shit
like aliens is that or angels
Yeah, like celestial beings wrote shit that's in a book you can like get and read.
So this lady and her husband like follow that shit as well.
So that's interesting.
Not only are they like incredibly powerful rich billionaires due to a tea company.
They're also dangerously crazy because they're part of this core.
Perhaps they're actually harnessing the power of these celestial beings and perhaps magic is real and I want in.
That means that their favorite movie is Eternals by Chloe Jen.
Oh, forget it.
These people are crazy.
No, they're like, oh, man, they got the Celestials all wrong.
Yeah.
They didn't even bother to read our book.
Oh, no, she doesn't look like Gemma Chan at all.
I've seen her in my dreams.
It doesn't look like her at all.
That's crazy.
No, I mean, but like, come on.
Money and crazy always go hand in the day.
It's always been this way.
Because once you get enough money, you're like, I got all the answers.
And the answer is, no, you don't.
Yeah, exactly.
You think an angel wrote a book.
So we cut back to our little groundskeeper guy for a second here.
Some folks have a strange idea of energy.
He's like, why'd they have to go and dig up, Jason?
Yeah, he's fucking rebaring him.
I do like, you see Horshack's fucking foot sticking out of the coffin.
Didn't even bother to put him in right.
And he doesn't correct it.
He just covers it.
I'm not getting in there and touch it all the mess.
Which I agree with.
That's not part of this guy's job description.
No, no, no.
I just make sure they stay buried.
I don't touch him.
That stupid fart head can stay right where he is.
I don't care what happened.
I'll say fart head later and it's delightful.
We see this ground scuba a couple times.
He keeps his classic thing.
He's got the old bottle of bourbon that he's just like knocking back the entire movie.
Does this character eat today?
No.
No, okay.
There's a liquid breakfast, a liquid lunch and a liquid dinner.
What's your problem?
Because it's like six in the morning he starts.
And then later on you just see him like wandering the woods drinking.
And I'm like, have you had lunch, sir?
Maybe some like twigs and berries.
He's just foraging.
Yes.
That's maybe.
Or he's got like a sleeve, like a fucking quarter filled sleeve of saltines.
And it's like whenever he can.
gets even mildly dizzy, he just eats
one really quickly. Keep going.
Gotta get my pocket crackers out. I need
energy for more drinking.
I'm too weak to raise this bottle
to my old lips. Come on.
Hard head. Get it in your mouth.
Get it up there.
These kids confirm, boom,
this movie is indeed taking place on
Friday the 13th. Yes, yes. So sometimes
the movies specify it like this, and sometimes
they leave you guessing, but this one
is indeed taking place on Friday the
13th. The kids stay here? What's that?
the kids say it here? I remember the deputies
the teens at the... They're like, you know what
you know what day today is. A lot of that kind of stuff.
Because later the deputy says to the sheriff, like they picked a good day for this
prank, you know, or happy Friday the 13th. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're dancing around here at the start, you're right. But it's like,
oh, and it's like the, I know the scariest thing ever, whatever Megan says. And then it's
like the bus of kids pull up. So yes, this is the first one of these movies where like
kids actually get to a functioning-ish camp here.
And this is where we meet, yes, the actor Tom Fridley playing court is the son of Ellen Travolta.
Oh, wow.
He's sister.
He also, like, he's been in a couple of Travolta movies playing like nothing characters.
Like he's a, like a prison guard and face off at one point.
So he's just kind of like around.
Speaking of dangerous cults.
I wonder how he got that job working on Travolta's movie.
Oh, right.
His name is from Travolta.
from Travolta.
Well, yeah, his name is Fridly.
So he's...
Look at that. They're hiding them now.
They're hiding these Travolta.
That's another hidden Travolta.
I would guess it's his father's name.
Ellen Trevolta was with some dude named Fridly.
Travolta's brother's name.
He was in that movie Hunter's Blood.
There's a bunch of Travolta.
Is it Nick maybe?
It's not John, isn't it?
Is Hunter's Blood the movie where it's all the brothers or sons?
No, what was that one that you watched?
with like Chuck Norris's
Yes
Jesus Christ
Yeah what was that movie I watched
Stay tuned for more riveting
Coffin'
Eric Siska stars in Name Hunter
While you look that up
We are introduced
To the paintballers right here
This is why you lose Larry
You're hungrier for food
Than victory
The fat guy isn't a ton of stuff
Bunch of stuff
Yeah he's just always
Playing like a doughy
Like yuppie kind of guy
Oh okay because the woman
So it's Larry Stan and Katie
Katie's Anne Ryerson
Has been in a ton of things
But she was
Anne Ryerson.
I was thinking of Joey Trevolta.
Joey Troules.
There it is.
He's in some bad movies.
There you go.
And now I'll look up the Norris.
There you go.
Anne Ryerson played Nan Funkhauser on curb, Marty Funkhauser's wife.
Oh, nice.
His much beleaguered wife over a few seasons, and she's been a ton of shit.
Apparently, this is the only time they hired a stuntman to play Jason, and he did these scenes.
They didn't like how they came out.
So they fired him and hired him.
hired somebody else.
What?
Apparently it was too bulky and some.
Too bulky.
Yes.
And weirdly enough,
Wikipedia is to be believed there was a,
a restaurant in town where there was a Friday the 13th.
A magician would come on stage.
What? Hypnotize you during dinner.
Okay.
And then some guy would come out as Jason and like scare you or something.
And the producer was like,
that's the guy for the movie.
So a dinner theater guy is playing Jason?
Also, why does the hypnotism have to happen?
He was a restaurant manager who, I don't know, great quote.
If Jason's just going to run out and spook you, why do you have to be like under his spell?
That's like you're stealing credit cards for people.
How old are we supposed to get the wallets?
Exactly.
You're supposed to leave the wallets where they are?
No.
But it was like a restaurant manager who was in the Marines.
So C.J. Graham is the guy we're talking about.
Oh, that's so interesting.
Yeah, that's weird.
That's crazy.
So wait, but the paintball scene, is this the guy?
Is this the other guy?
They kept these scenes because...
Well, yeah, you're not reshoot this story.
But they weren't happy with it.
Erica, update from the internet?
Yes, real quick.
Death Ring is the movie that I had seen with...
It's actually not too bad.
Mike Norris, Chad McQueen, and Don Swayze.
Oh, sons and brothers of more famous people are in this group.
The villain is Billy Drago.
Oh, of a very anime performance with a long hair and a suit and a katama.
Oh, I'm kind of like that, actually.
Couldn't get Connery's brother.
It's not too bad.
And also, what was this name?
name Brandscombe, Richmond.
Oh, Branscombe Richmond.
He's in there too.
Oh, okay.
That's a pretty deep cast of C-grade action stars.
It's a corporate retreat.
Their lady boss comes out and shoots them.
There's a lot of, oh, women in the workplace kind of stuff.
Sorry, boys.
Don't make us put the bandanas on, please.
The bandanas are very funny because it says dead, dead, dead on air.
And then you cut, like, oh, what happened to whatever, Richie or whatever the other guy was.
Right, yeah.
And it's like, oh, yeah, I got him earlier.
And he's like just cutting.
He's got this, he's got the machete.
He's got the machete.
And he's cut through the woods.
Damn women, blah, blah, blah.
Shouldn't be around at the paintball thing.
God damn, and I can't just fucking smack her ass at the office and call on a day.
This is ridiculous.
She's probably going to make the bears coming because she's bleeding.
They're coming and they're going to get us.
But Jason smashes this dude's face against a tree and then it's like the goofy,
smiley, have a nice day face in blood.
Right. There's a carving on the tree of the smiley face.
Jason, Jason clearly has a sense of humor this time around. Like, oh, this will be fucking funny. Watch this. And I love that he just rips his arm off, right?
He's holding the arm and the dead hand is holding the machete still. And he does, I just love, there's a few moments of this. And I love this in any time anyone has a mask and does some good mask acting. When he just looks at it like, you know, like questioning it. Like, what is this arm? What is this? What's happening?
What's this arm doing attached to my machete?
Yes, exactly.
All right.
One little piggy.
Two little piggy.
God fucking damn it, three better, fucker.
So then there's like this, there's a fifth dude named Roy who's like the only remaining player.
And he's the huge coward and he's running around.
And this is like what he sees Jason, I love.
This is the dude that does the, oh, no, no, no.
Do you think this is a subtle dig at the last movie that you name him Roy and he's a coward?
and a loser.
Oh, maybe.
Yeah.
Probably a little bit.
Because why else would he be named Roy?
Well, that was in the 1980s.
That's a good point, too.
Every other guy was named Roy.
Yeah, that name still had a little juice left in it back then.
I don't know.
But it's a great, like, I swear I can hear something.
And then Jason dropping down behind the three of these dudes, they turn around and the
fucking triple decapitation.
It's crazy.
Primo stuff.
Very efficient.
Very efficient.
The other thing before the triple decapitation is this guy, Roy,
shoots Jason with the fucking paintball and he sort of looks like, you messed up my jumpsuit.
Now I got to get a different work uniform. God damn it. He kills that guy.
I'm going to give it a lot to you because later you find this guy in a bunch of pieces.
Oh yeah, he's all over the place. So the sheriff is driving Tommy to the town line and as they're getting on their way,
he Tommy jacks the wheel of the car to drive towards the cemetery. And this is where the cop,
The sheriff has already had the iron this punk.
Now he's got this hit the noise and the cherries.
Cops line that no one else has ever said.
The cherries I've heard.
Does he say the noise and the cherries?
Yes.
Hit the reds a lot, he says.
Oh, okay.
And I think cherries has been around.
Cherrys I've heard.
I've never just, I guess the noise part is weird.
Like just get the siren.
Turn the siren.
Hit the noise on the cherries.
And this fucking gravedigger is, A, a huge liar.
but also be very good at his job
because he's just like, oh, it looks perfect.
It's got grass on top of it.
Because you should make the argument,
Tommy should be like,
see, there's just a bunch of dirt there.
It's clearly been dug up.
But like, this dude has put grass over it somehow.
It looks perfect.
He's so good at this out.
He deserves an extra drink, I'd say.
Job well done.
Not such a fart head now, am I?
Fart head.
When he is being chased through the cemetery, Tommy,
this is actually a pretty nicely edited
little chase scene here. There's a bunch of cool
cuts like it makes it look very frantic and everything.
It's a well-directed movie for sure. It really is.
And yeah, I love the sheriff like,
oh yeah, he fucking came out of his grave.
Well, it looks like you got chilly in the night
and pulled up the dirt.
It's being sarcastic to this guy is awesome.
And then this is the other,
the deputy's got this other gun that's like,
try to run, man, wherever the little red laser dot goes,
you bang.
He's been dying to use his mail.
order laser scope.
Yeah, dude, back in the day.
Well, actually, you probably could still do this.
Oh, probably.
Yeah.
Order a laser scope online.
I've got half the packages that, you know, you see your mail carrier walking around with or gun parts or accessories or maybe even straight up guns.
For cops specifically.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, for anyone.
No, for anyone, really.
But, yeah, so this is.
They, like, go away.
They carry him away.
And then, yes, this is the groundskeeper.
Does he think I'm a fart head?
This is fucking good.
So then we see a little bit of the.
the counselors
dealing with the kids. Megan's trying to get
all the girl campers excited. Are we
gonna scare the boys?
Are we gonna do this and that?
And then court is with
the boys and he's talking about
he's obviously just making up a story about
what Indian markers are or whatever and
like one of the kids like this is as
exciting as it gets, we're dead.
We're toast or something like that. It's the two kids
we start that runner here.
It reminded me of how
is it Michael
Sherwalter that takes the kids on a
nature walk in Wet Hot and it's
kind of another like he's bullshitting them
about stuff. This kid, and court
is very Ken Marino coded I think.
He does have very strong
the eyes. Ken Marino vibes, absolutely.
The kids, they do a lot because I forget
if it's right here or later on
it's like someone else
says like to their
friend or somebody who's like, do you think I'm some
kind of idiot and it cuts to the kids
and they all go like, yay!
Yes. It's stuff like that
that's just like that's really smart thinking and directing.
It's the cut from Does He Think I'm a Fart Head?
Yay!
Which is really great.
One of the other campers, this woman's Sissy is played by Renee Jones.
She's a one on to be a super successful soap opera actor,
hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of appearances on Days of Our Lives.
Oh, boy.
Oh, that's where I've seen her from.
Yep.
Okay.
I watched a lot of Days of Our Lives for a while.
Oh, really?
Do you recall the Renee Jones character?
That's an unstoppable killing force, too.
Or like an endearing, like, a Jason monster.
It will never die.
It was just my sister was into it.
was just kind of always on.
So, like, that's the only soap opera that I know, like, specifics of.
And I believe she was married to, there was, like, a police force.
And I think that the dude.
The whole team?
She was married to the whole police force.
Abe was the dude, the chief.
He was kind of like a Jim Gordon type, a black Jim Gordon guy.
She was married to him.
I like that.
But, yeah, court the whole thing.
Like, he's doing, like, stacking stones as, like, a marker in the woods.
So say, it's like, you got, like, a Native American guy, right?
and he's not saying Native American music.
So he's a chick wants to go find him.
Or a squaw, excuse me.
I really love that correction.
Excuse me.
But yeah, these kids are just like not having it.
The sheriff, meanwhile, is dropping Tommy off at the town line.
And he's like, you know, you're damn lucky kid that I didn't fucking shoot you through the skull or whatever.
And we see the cool you are now leaving Forest Green County sign, which is nice.
Just watch if he's going to.
This is the time right where he's like, come on.
And they just.
Tommy peels off on the second route.
That's when he goes to the cemetery.
Now it seems like he's doing the right thing.
And he's like, goodbye, kid.
Somebody honks the horn.
Like, Sheriff, is this?
We got, we're lost.
We're looking for Crystal Lake.
There wasn't ever a Crystal Lake.
This is Forest Green.
You kids are dead wrong.
Turn around and go back to Queens or wherever you're coming from.
Crystal Lake's in Florida.
That's right.
Florida.
Go go to Florida.
But so like after the drop off, we cut to it's night time.
And this is drunk Martin,
the groundskeeper, stumbling around.
we're also cross-cutting with, we're told,
Stephen and Annette who are drinking champagne in the dark, which is strange.
These were added to up the body count.
I mean, you can tell.
But it's awesome because, like, again, like,
we've been talking with like the vignette feel of this movie.
It doesn't disrupt the flow at all.
No, it's actually helpful because otherwise all the scenes are either like
Tommy convincing people that Jason's real or scenes where people are saying that Tommy's
full of shit or the Jason action.
And that's, you're not really getting to feature.
length with that. So, like, these are smart,
but they're also nice breaks. And it's also, this
movie's really short, it's an hour and 20-something minutes.
Yeah, you're like, fucking beautiful, dude.
That's all I ever wanted.
The dude playing Stephen is a guy,
Roger Rose, who became, like, a very,
very successful, still
working today, voice actor, like,
video games, cartoon, when you can get those
roles that are, like, in video games,
but you're, like, crowd noise guy,
or just, like, public
yelling or whatever.
Like, yeah, just the, like, voices
on NPCs.
Like that's fucking cool.
Let me do an audition.
Watch it, buddy.
That's pretty good.
Hey.
Hey.
Yeah, exactly.
Watch it, buddy.
Spider-Man.
You know.
I love it, man.
It's pretty good.
But yeah, this is the dude, Martin is pounding the booze.
Jason takes, he throws the, I love this.
He throws the bottle.
And it's, again, this is very funny.
Like, he's got this noise like, no glass breaking sound.
And he turns around.
There's Jason.
and breaks this bottle with his hands
and just fucking stabs this guy at death
with it. Oh, man. And meanwhile, it's a yuppie couple very much
like, I think that he has just, they got engaged
tonight kind of a thing. We got like real deal like
Crystal Champagne flutes out, you know. Are we gonna fuck? No, we're not
gonna fuck. Actually, we are gonna fuck. Yay.
But man, oh man, like he's like, oh, what's this noise? I'm gonna go
check it out. And he like takes a few steps. And this guy, this
yuppie scum, just sees Jason,
going to town on this fucking groundskeeper
really rage shopping this guy into a thousand pieces
like, oh what? Oh, hey, you might, I'm almost done here.
You hang on a second.
I'll get to you and your new fiancee in a second.
He called me fart head.
Like those damn counselors that put me under the water in 57.
They called me fart head too.
We're going to drown that fart head.
I mean, he did this guy a favor.
He was going to fall.
this guy has been drinking all day again
I'm not sure if he's eating these in his late 60s
he's just gonna fall asleep in the woods
and die of exposure you know what I mean this is quicker
and easier you didn't even eat
those mccanless berries or nothing so
you would rather be killed by Jason
for he's then have a nice little
bottle of hooch and go have a nap
under the stars I guess that's fair
I guess it's quicker to get
but you know it's also great about getting drunk
and laying in the woods what's that you look up to
the stars and you see those
celestial beings oh yeah and you're
like, man, I can't wait to read their next book.
That's what ended on a cliffhanger.
Please tell me how to live my lifesters.
So they run to get on Steven's motorcycle.
And this dude, it's kind of great because he's like,
we got to get to the sheriff's off.
And a real machete through the both of them.
The skewer action there.
Dude, Jason should take this motorcycle.
He should.
Oh, give it a shot here.
Let's see if I can get this in action.
It's just dragging on the bottom.
on it. It's sparks.
Like synth pop playing and it driving around on it.
Fuck, yeah, dude. On rain-slicked streets.
Yeah.
Totally. The golden lights of Crystal Lake back roads, the street lamps lit.
Fox's so cool.
We get a little, you know, it's the night, you know, counselors are settling in, campers are settling in.
One kid reading Jean-Paul Sautra no way out or no exit.
No exit is great.
That's very funny.
And it's just a quick cut over.
It's like a Looney Tunes gag.
All the kids are sleeping tucked in there.
band. She's got like the little
flashlight, like she's reading some really great little
Y.A novel or something. Sissy and Paula
Paula is the one who is the sister of
Elspeth or whatever the fuck.
Elizabeth, yeah. Elizabeth, yeah, thank you.
And so Cissy's like, oh, we're going to make a Jason
drinking game, which I, let's get some rules to that. I'll play a Jason
drinking game with cars. We can get that going. I kind of was where it was
where it's like, oh, these are the four camps
and these are the four bunks.
We have to find out which bunk
Jason's in.
I was like, this is kind of cool.
It's kind of how you wound up playing
that NES Friday of the 13 games.
It's basically like, you just
walked around into different cabins
looking for Jason and eventually he would pop
out and kill you instantly.
There's another option is not playing that game.
That's also an option.
That fucking suck.
It sucks.
It sucked so hard.
And frankly, I think that newer 21st century
Friday of the 13th game kind of sucked too.
This is that mandatory group play shit now.
I couldn't just walk around slaughtering.
Seriously, it sucks.
What's great, here's a good drinking game for Jason.
Now, you buy one of those hockey masks.
You put it on and you try to drink through the little holes.
That's a good drinking game.
Yeah, you see how much you catch.
I like that.
Wear a bathing suit, maybe go outside and do it.
It's not bad.
I like these.
I like these ideas.
Oh, bathing suit.
I'm so embarrassed to have my shirt off in front of all these sexy counselors.
Or I find a two-piece just for the perves.
Eric is in his bathing suit and hockey mask and his neighbor is like,
like, oh, yeah.
Frankenstein's coming to town.
I should start doing that weird stuff in the yard there.
You really should, dude.
I should say also the woman playing Paul is,
so Paula's like the redheaded counselor,
who gets absolutely hyper-killed in this movie.
Some actors who are in these movies go on to be like Kevin Bacon.
Some actors go on to be like pseudo-anonymous voice actors kind of deal.
Or someone like Carrie Noonan,
who you stop acting altogether and become a,
a women's studies professor at various
colleges. There you go. That's cool. Nice. But I think
she still leans into it though. On her
IMDB there's a picture of her
present day-ish and she's at a convention.
She's in front of a big Jason banner.
That's a great icebreaker for like, you know,
Women's Studies 101. Everyone's settling in
for the semester. And yes, I was at Friday
the 13th part six. Yeah.
Six of those?
Here's what happened to my character. She's just
playing the fucking highlight reel of her in the movie.
but so there's a girl that screams and you know they run into the you know cabin oh i saw a monster
it was looking at me through the window he was everywhere and then they're like oh okay well you know
we'll take a look and you know courts out here somewhere wait where is court cuts to court
and this lady banging in the RV little girl with the nightmare named nancy oh i didn't
like a little bit of a little something there oh definitely not know probably about it and the
RV. I mean, this is another dig at the rich.
I mean, if your parents
have had an RV when you were growing
up, you were not destitute, you were doing pretty
good. Yeah. But yeah,
it is the girlfriend, Nikki. It's her
dad's RV here, and they're banging.
Just keep going through the end of the song.
When's that happening? Just another
10 minutes. Oh, man!
He's trying not
to ejaculate you. That is right.
I don't know why you put can on while we were
making out. Jesus.
12 minutes. Holy God.
Son, could you come down here?
You Googled Crout Rock.
I don't even want to know what that is.
Take Omega. What the fuck are you?
What is this?
Jason cuts the power cord to the RV.
And I like this court line when he realizes the cuts happen.
He goes, I say, we bake this place of memory right now.
Well, he busts too.
Of course he busts.
And she's like, oh, come on.
The song was over.
I mean, I'm defending his busting here because, you know, like something serious might be going on.
all the power goes out and the lights go out,
finish up so we can figure out what's happening.
Now we've got to get our thinking caps on.
Even more so now having seen the movie,
it's the last time this fella's going to bust.
Sure.
I want him to go through it.
Because imagine you're doing all that,
you're waiting to bust,
then you don't bust,
then Jason kills you.
Come on.
That would suck.
That sucks.
But also you got to be wary.
I think you're in the purgatory.
You got to be wary, though,
because if you bust,
it better be a business bust because you can't become drunk
walking around looking for Jason.
Right, that's just like a, now,
can you walk us through business bus?
Yeah, you're just fucking, you know, like, rock one into the toilet really quickly and you're on your way.
While you're in a suit or?
Yeah, suit and a suit.
That's another game you can play in your yard.
There you go.
The business bus.
All right, that was interesting.
Now, now back to business.
Yeah, now I've got to get to work.
All right.
Straighten up the tie.
But so court drives the RV out.
He's driving shittily.
This woman's flying all over the place in the back.
All these are Alice Cooper.
songs. This is a teenage
Frankenstein. Hell yeah, dude.
Mistake I've made a long time ago,
Alice Cooper was playing in Jersey
City or thereabouts, and I was like,
I looked at the, all I did was look at the tickets.
I was like, oh, you know, it might be fun just to see it.
Just looked at the tickets, didn't think about it ever again.
Now, any time Alice Cooper farts in New Jersey,
I'm getting an email from somebody.
That's the word to God.
How often is you play in Jersey?
It's a lot. It's not right.
It's just, it's every other month.
I'm just saying, Alice Cooper,
come to the Meadowlands.
Jesus Christ.
Wow. We were in Cardiff Wales when Ozzie died.
Yeah.
And Alice Cooper was playing a show in Cardiff.
Oh, cool.
And had to like announce to the arena that Ozzy had passed away.
Oh, man.
An English guy had passed away.
They were probably buddies, too.
Yeah, they could have been.
Yeah, so all these Welsh fans were coming out of this arena just satisfied.
Like Chelsea and I were just walking back to the hotel from dinner.
And, you know, I knew what would, what had happened.
And there's all these somber.
I felt so fucking terrible.
All these metal, like hundreds of metalheads like,
man, where do you put that in your set?
I mean, do you...
I know.
Right?
Like, you can't end the show.
And Ozzy's Day!
Yeah.
Like, you get them all pissed off because you're playing like summer in the USA,
like the song that plays in this movie.
And they're like, what the fuck?
Maybe the last song you just announced,
and this one's going to go out to Ozzie, by the way.
I don't know if you heard this.
Ozzy has passed.
And this is for you, Ozzie, wherever you are.
teenage Frankenstein.
It's a classy way to do it.
15 minute opus,
teenage Frankenstein.
Yeah, this is the long song
They Fuck 2 in Friday the 13th Part 6,
Jason Lewis.
I'm going to tell you halfway through
when we have 10 minutes left
in the song, so you can count down to coming.
Oh my God, my women's studies professors
in that movie. It's awesome.
And, you know, I know it's a Wednesday night.
We're doing this concert.
If anyone's got work the next day,
just do a business bus before you see the concert.
You can get home quick.
You'll beat the traffic.
All right.
Now we're doing.
Get your three piece out and bust right now.
If you're going to be a business bus, do it right.
But she goes in, he's driving like an asshole.
Listen to a teenage Frankenstein.
She's bouncing around.
She gets knocked into the bathroom.
Uh-oh.
Jason is in the bathroom.
Jason pulls her right into the bathroom.
Sounds like you having fun back there.
Nicky, you back there taking a dump?
You want some company?
Meanwhile, this guy's just loving driving this off feet.
Whoa, this is cool.
Did you find like a secret third back there?
That's fucking fantastic.
That sounds so cool what you're doing.
Can I fuck too?
Whatever you're doing?
Shoot, I hope it's fellow counselor Sissy.
That would be cool.
I would love to do that.
Oh, your face is coming out of the bathroom, kind of.
That is.
So I should say, I said at the top, like, Baby's First Friday.
This was the first Friday of 13th I ever watched in the fifth grade.
I was at a friend's house on a Friday night.
It was like a TNN, the Super Station broadcast or whatever that.
Yes.
It was TNNN, right?
It was one of the Superstations.
TBS.
No.
No.
TNT Super Station. But this, it was specifically TNN.
Okay. The channel that became Spike TV. That was the Nashville network at the time.
That was TNN was the Nashville network. Oh, interesting. But it was also just, it was a TBS. They would play movies. They just push it on. So it was whatever the one that was Spike TV. Before it became Spike TV, that's what this was on. And this was like the sequence that we started watching the movie at. Oh, okay. So the first time I saw it, like I never saw any of, you know, Horshack or anything like that. It was this RV. And the first time. And the.
face being pushed out
I was like, that'll do it. This is
something. I'd never seen that
an emotion picture before. Also
never saw an RV flip like this.
Well, that's also awesome. This is really
great because yeah, you take it a dump
and then like Jason like comes up
and court does, it's not
a he doesn't see who kills him.
He does get a quick look like, oh man!
And then Jason stabs him
the fucking RV like hits off the side
of the road and just does this flip. It's a real
stunt. It's amazing. Well done.
You don't see a ton of car stunts in slasher movies.
No.
I say, let's do it.
Put a minute.
It's beautiful.
If you can, do it.
I like Jason just coming up at the top, like the fugitive here.
It's pretty good.
Jesus Christ, I got rocked.
I didn't think that was going to happen.
I didn't kill my mother.
I killed everybody else, but not her.
I don't care, Jason.
Just so you could have prolasses.
Whatever the drug was.
You switched down.
Sam Bowles.
Provasic.
Megan is like arguing with the sheriff
about, you know, she's pissed off
that he doesn't believe Tommy.
Meanwhile, the deputy calls and is like, oh, hey,
we found Tony Goldwyn and Lizabeth
there. They're fucking dead.
This is a detail
that I don't know if there's like a deleted scene somewhere
that like beefs this up a little bit,
but you see Tommy, he's got
all these occult books. And I guess
that's how he formulates the plan
for the end of the movie. But
the movie never like really links these two things.
Like, look at all these books I got from the library.
Yeah, because she,
he calls the sheriff station to say something.
And then she answers.
And like, it's like, oh, you can't come.
My dad's going to get you.
Right, right, right.
She immediately knows this guy couldn't have anything to do with any of these murders of her friends.
So like, this guy's hot, you know?
So she's like,
I'll pick up all these supplies for you.
They're going to recognize like your truck or whatever.
But I can go around and get your rope and gasoline and whatever else is going on.
do love her driving them around
and it's like, oh wait, there's a
cop roadblock.
You know, you can't just stop.
You can't just break and go in reverse
and turn around and leave.
Now the cops are chasing you.
That's how that way, even if you are the sheriff's daughter.
But yeah, like, the sheriffs
like with these bodies and these
I want roadblocks up. We got to find this guy.
This is where we find
the chopped up body of paintball guy
like strewn all over the place.
the definitely's got the great like,
I guess I'll order some more body bags.
This is the Happy the Friday of 13th line.
I want to check every outhouse, hand house,
chicken house, camp cabin.
Oh dude,
you think that's a good,
you know,
we did Freddie versus Jason.
Sam Gerard versus Jason.
I would love that.
You hug that fuck that fuck her down.
That's so good.
Of course you're going to go after Jason
because you're the great Sam Gerard.
Yes, I am.
Now put on this chicken suit and go.
to camp. Yes, I will.
This is
where we get the sissy death, which is great.
She's reading a fake, like,
mocked up magazine here called Men at Play.
And I just think it's great that this could be like
a dude's nudie mag that she's looking at. That's a nice
little turning the table a little bit for these kinds of
movies. And she does her like stick in the head
right out the window, like, who's there? And Paul is like,
oh, it's probably court. You should teach him a lesson.
She dumps, did you kind of look at this soda that she dumps on this?
It's a fake lime soda.
From Scandinavia though, it says out.
So it could be real as fucking.
These kids are importing soda.
Little rich kids.
But yeah, dumps this like lemon lime soda.
They look right here.
The door to this cabin is just wide open.
Yeah.
Like, what are we doing?
There's a fucking chipmunk that's going to get in or something.
You're on the woods.
And all the windows are open anyway.
It's not like the breeze isn't coming through.
Well, you want a little.
killer tamer, you know? Come on.
The mosquitoes alone.
My God. But Jason pulls her
head first out of the window, which is
great because she gets pulled right out of her little
like rabbit slippers that she's wearing.
It's so good. Seeing them hit the floor. It's so funny.
And then just this, the, you see
her, the head twist happens.
And then they cut before
you see the pole, but you hear
the pole happens.
It's like a soda. Like you got to get
those little ribs. Got to break the ribs
a little bit and then you can pop it right off.
Twist up.
But this is where the little girl, Nancy, sees.
My God, this girl's traumatized.
Jason walking past the cabin holding Sissy's fucking head in her, his hands.
And this girl's like, oh, I'm messed up for life.
Bye, Sissy.
This is where we get the big Alice Cooper fucking hard rock summer song.
While, yeah, we're peeling out of the roadblock.
She shoves Tommy's face in his crotch and get down, they can't see you.
And this dude's like, well, all right.
It sounds cool to me.
Isn't there something, something it's a little hairy?
There's a hairy joke about like, oh, it's getting hairy or something.
What is his crotch?
No, it's a pun about, it's like a hairy situation.
Oh, I didn't notice that.
I think that that's in here.
It's a bush joke?
Yeah, but the bush joke.
Son, could you come down here?
Google Bush joke.
That better not be about the former president.
We respect our presidents in this house, son.
I don't want to see any 70s pornography.
I know what Harry.
I know what you were going after.
Don't try to tell me differently.
Dad, Bush is back, actually.
But this sheriff pulls his own daughter over by brandishing a shotgun in her face.
And it's just, yeah, the summer of the USA.
It's a great, like, music cue to, like, cut the tune.
And this dude's just got this shotgun.
We go back to the cabin.
Paula is there like kind of sleeping.
She's, we get bloody machete
POV, which is really nice. I like that.
Speaking of video games. The bloody machete
because I think Nancy has it at some point.
It's the little she brings. Yeah.
It's got, it's strawberry jam. I'm sorry,
folks. It's a really bad. It looks delicious.
It does. Because I guess they were
I was making a Thomas's English muffin
actually and I didn't have time to clean it.
Cut my finger real bad
trying to have this English muffin.
All right. I was out of
dinner knives. All right. I had to use this.
all right and a little too much yeah but I like them so you know the girl wakes up here
Paula and it's like oh it's probably Sissy and Court missing around let's go scare him and there's
this really dumb shot of the girl taking the little girl out into the night and they're like
pantomiming like where should we got like you know it's like background work kind of like where's
they're like pointing all over the place and you got Jason in the foreground looking like those
fucking morons they're so fucking stew also that little girl took my machine
God, they killed me.
They could have killed these kids. I'm
not as stupid as these kids.
Well, here's a question, because I saw it a little bit
on the Wikipedia, a little bit on the IMDB is like, oh,
it was intentional that
Jason would not
kill the kids. Right. But every time it happens,
he gets distracted by something.
That's the note I made too, exactly. Like, it's
not like he's not about to do it.
It's just like there's another noise or
something where he's like, what's that?
And yeah, it's not for like,
oh, they're too tiny and precious.
It's like I heard something else and I got to go check that out.
He just has ADD.
Also, but maybe he sees himself in them maybe as well because doesn't he sort of
still mentally identifies a child?
Probably.
The end of eight he like is turned back into one for five seconds.
Yeah, that's a weird thing.
Like all those fucking other little tykes looked at him while he was being drowned and
did nothing.
They did fucking bullshit.
Yeah.
They're probably teasing him too about his weird eye and all that stuff.
That's true.
They're having fun out there while they drown him in the land.
It's so much fun.
So the sheriff still, like, refusing to believe that Tommy is not the one perpetrating these murders.
Finally, has to eat some reality here because it's like, oh, these other murders happen to be 9 and 930.
And Megan's like, Tommy was with me that whole time.
It seems deleted, but we went to a hardware store and got a bunch of supplies.
I was sucking his.
Okay.
That's Jason.
It's Jason.
I know it's Jason.
Fine.
I do believe Jason.
I just don't want to hear about my daughter's sucking cock.
Damn it.
When were they killed?
around 8, 9 o'clock.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I remember exactly at 8.30, he busted on my stomach.
So they're...
I know it's Jason.
At the hardware store, what are you?
Just a garden home?
Well, it was a business bus.
It was real quick.
He had to get back to supplying,
doing the cult research.
So did a quick business bust on my stomach.
And that was the end of it.
Of course, it was a business bus.
We're trying to kill a serial killer here.
What are you doing?
He put on his, you know, his hardware smock afterwards.
And that's his business bust.
He's a regenerated unstoppable.
There's no time for romance
This man is busy
But so Paula goes and puts
Nancy back to bed and then she goes back to her cabin
And we see the
Machete has been removed from the floor
And it's just a little blood spatter
Or jam spatter left there
And Jason is just barges into the cabin
And just starts fucking hacking this girl the pieces
There's a really I love I've always loved this
because it's such a lazy special effect execution.
Again, we got this really thick fucking strawberry jam blood.
It's just a lazy bucket toss onto this window.
Yes.
It's so good.
And then you throw the body through the half window.
Oh, my.
That is.
See that?
Yes.
Jason's special.
The body is going through the window.
But what's great about that is you think it's them being very economical.
We're just going to throw the blood on the window.
But then no, the body goes through and then is dragged back in.
It's so fucking brutal.
Is it three or four that has every body going through the window?
That's four where we're just chucking bodies through windows.
One also has one has a body chucked through a window,
which is insane because it's a 60-year-old woman doing it.
No way that lady's hucking full-grown adults through windows.
You never know.
Then we get the, Megan helps Tommy break out of the police station cell here
by doing a like, oh, she's like antagonizing Tommy at first kind of a deal.
See last week's episode to talk about, you know,
we're talking about, again, the old school police station.
with the big ring of keys, you know?
Like this is, it just seems like you can always get out of those situations.
Totally.
Milo!
Milo!
We get a little like making out through the bars right here.
And then, dude, this definitely is so great where it, because it's like, oh, give me back my
notepad or whatever it is.
And he's like, I'll get it for you, babe.
Like the way he's talking to this teenage girl.
I don't know, man.
That's your fucking boss's daughter.
Then she used the laser on him and it's like wherever it stops, it blows.
whatever the whole thing it is.
Yeah, bang.
Yes.
And the deputy calls Jarvis.
He's like, you little turd.
It's fucking great.
This deputy, this fella here,
he's like buddies with him or something.
This guy's in like every David Mamet movie.
Oh, good for you.
In like some tiny kind of role here and there.
Like, even up to including Red Belt.
Like he's in Red Belt.
So it's like him Joe Montania and David Mamet getting dinner together kind of thing.
It's entirely possible.
This guy has dined with Joe Mantania.
Absolutely.
dream. To be a fly on that wall. And Ed O'Neill. I know Mammett and O'Neill are big
buddies. So after the breakout, it's like, okay, we got to drive back to the camp. And this is
where Tommy is like explaining to Megan and us, I guess, like, this one book that you didn't see me read
tells me that we got to go back to the site of his death and that's soil or whatever. Yeah. So it's like,
we got to go back to the lake, the camp where we're down where this nightmare began. That's what
says, which is funny.
We got more Jason walking around all these kids.
And this, I want like a predator vision thing where it's just like, you know, not a threat.
Okay, never mind, you know.
But yeah, he does move towards, this is the thing.
He's moving towards Nancy right here.
Yes.
And he's getting closer and closer to the bed.
And this girl's like looking at him.
And then the fuzz shows up.
Like he's distracted because a bunch of police cars come.
Yes, you can hear like the door, the car door is open and closed.
he is definitely distracted by that.
And also she,
Paula has told her whenever she's scared,
she prays.
So now Nancy is praying.
Now the stupid girl thinks her prayers did something.
I know.
Just the monster was distracted by a cop car.
I do like that she checks under the bed immediately after.
Yeah.
Imagine he was down there.
I like the sheriff,
like they get to the campgrounds and he's like given orders,
whatever.
And he's like,
holler if you see anything that don't belong.
This is a great line.
And then we have mustache cop here.
Who's great.
Love this mustache cop.
This guy looks like he.
should have been announcing wrestling in the 90s, definitely.
Or maybe a referee kind of guy.
Very Larry Zonka-esque.
Yep.
But this is where the sheriff fucking goes into Sissy and Paula's cabin,
and it's like every inch is covered in blood.
And he's like, God damn it.
This guy is like, it's not the reaction of like a horrifying scene.
It's the reaction of like just another work annoyance.
Well, this guy says, how did that Jarvis do it?
That Jarvis and son of a bitch.
I love the cop
Like looking around the docks or whatever
And Jason
This is another great edit
Jason throws like an arrow at this dude
And fucking kills him with it
And then it cuts to
The boys cabin
And the first thing you see is a dartboard
Yeah
Oh yeah
Like this editor really had a sense of humor
And it's fucking awesome
Also just the skill Jason has to get that dart
To hook an arrow right through a man's head
Yeah it's pretty great
So the sheriff like rounds all the kids into one cabin and he's like,
do not open this door until I come back.
Whatever you do for the love of God,
the body count is really piling up here and I can't have little kids getting killed as well.
This is not a joke thing.
There's not me being funny, funny.
No, no, no.
Don't touch it.
This is when the kid is the other one is.
What did you want to be when you were going to grow up or whatever the line is?
It's so fucking funny.
Oh, man, these kids are great.
And then you have the other, there's another, so this officer popist guy played by Michael Swan,
another soap opera dude over 300
episodes of As the World Turns
How about that?
But yeah, the kids come out
There's a scary man, blah blah
This guy, it's great
What scary man, Jason, right there
Just, this is the head crush one?
Oh man, great head crush.
You see some boogers on this guy later
When you'll cut back to his head.
I guess he'd crushed it so hard
He had a runny nose and he popped out the bugger
Yeah, popped the sinuses
Brain maybe
Oh, yeah.
A brain leakage
Yeah, brain juice.
Yeah, it's like a light, a bright
green so I thought it was boogers but you might be right
well I don't know let's cut each other
open and find out what it looks like
the sheriff gets like a close up view because he
trips over this dude and that's when you get
the close up of like booger face
and whatever but then it's a major
LOL this guy just starts running away
sure the sheriff just runs
away into the woods like fuck
this because you said he looks like John Carbenter
which he does which also means he kind of looks like
Michael Jeter a little bit yeah this guy's not taking
Jason on one on by one by one
and you've now seen you
you shoot at him and he just keeps going.
Yeah, that's kind of it.
That's the ball game right there.
Tommy, how did you get Jason's whole outfit on so quickly?
How did you do it?
Tommy, where did you possess Jason's super strength that he has?
And the smell.
My God, where did you find the smell?
Getting dressed up like that so fast.
Maybe there's something to these business busts.
I got to start working a fun.
How quickly can I get this off?
There's a great moment where Tommy's like,
he gets down to the dock and he's got like his,
chains and his gasoline and whatever.
Big old rock. Yeah. And
he's like, all right, now I just got to get this.
I'll put it in a boat and he turns and it's the fucking
dead cop of the boat. He's like, ooh, not that boat.
Like, Kosa moves into
another boat. But yeah, this
is Megan being like, my daddy's the sheriff
and he's going to take care of everything. And then this
is the fucking, I think we're dead meat.
Yes.
Jason,
we go, oh, call an ambulance. This is a great.
This Jason
Real sense of humor on this guy.
Tommy is like, oh, Megan, go to the sheriff's car and call the radio for ambulances or whatever.
She opens the door.
Sissy's head is just in the driver's seat.
You can just imagine his tiny pea brain like, this be funny.
Well, because he's just like, me leave head in the car.
Because he takes the head and he doesn't know where he's going to put.
Where?
What's good?
The goal post is pretty funny.
I mean, I did post today.
Oh, a cop car.
Good.
I'll hold this here.
Now I got it.
It's kind of like she's driving the car.
Dude, he's just talking to him.
Talk about Roadhead.
Nobody was around it.
God damn it.
That was really funny.
Maybe Tommy will listen to me.
Hear my cool jokes.
Son, could you come down here?
What is this search for Roadhead?
I didn't use the computer last.
That was Mom.
I really like Japanese breakfast.
I just really like them.
We eat American food in this house.
Jason gave roadhead on the something eggs at.
Yeah.
Jason parody to come on the Japanese breakfast.
There you go.
There you go.
But yeah, Jason then gets distracted by this woman yelling for daddy and whatever.
But here comes the sheriff.
Guy tries to fight Jason.
Shoots him a couple times.
The shotgun.
This guy's got to be annoyed.
He's like, all right, I've escaped Jason.
I'm good.
And now his daughter's endangered.
Well, I guess I have to end my life now.
Great.
Now I got to go back.
I was in the clear, but I'm so glad that she didn't stay where I told her to stay.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what?
She's a rule breaker.
I told her five times to stay at the police station.
Let her die.
I'll mourn her later.
Yeah.
I can make another one.
Just give her another minute to say something that references your cock again.
Just as a last thing between father and daughter and then you can go.
Because it's funny because it's like, oh, does the sheriff die.
And then when he gets away, I guess the sheriff gets away.
That's kind of cool.
No, he does not.
And it's this great, like shotgun.
Jason sits back up.
Shotgun again.
Jason sits back up.
Tiny pistol.
Jason doesn't fall back down and keeps walking to you.
And yes, we get down on the ground and he fucking folds this dude backwards in half.
Like a convertible sofa.
Just bends this dude back in.
It's so good.
It's so good.
You got to put the futon back in it.
You got to hold it.
Put it back in.
And this is where it's kind of funny because Megan is screaming at Tommy like,
my father's up there somewhere we gotta find my father and this guy is like i don't give a fuck about
your father he jailed me i'm killing jason now and also like this is the end of their relationship
when you find out that your father's been folded like a fucking pizza and the guy is responsible because
you're the idiot that fucking brought it back to life jackass yep absolutely like we know uh no
opening a tea company for us Tommy we're totally broken up after this Jason incident but also
Megan, you kept on calling out. So really?
I don't know here.
There is a great, it's a like seconds apart Jason's smashing in and out of a cabin because
like he breaks down this door. It's a great slow-mo door break.
He's like walking through it, right, to break it.
Just walks right through it. I love this shot.
It's so good. And then like he goes in the cabin and then he breaks back out of it to start
smashing Megan's and at no point is just a doorway use.
It's just smashing shit down.
He's smashing her head.
He's about to get her and this is the famous moment.
Oh, come on, maggot head.
Come on, you pussy.
You pussy.
Chicken shit is me you are.
That's the word the counselors use, pussy.
I heard that that's what they use.
That's it.
I'm going to get them.
It's six syllable.
Pusee.
Oh, I love it.
And so that's like, oh yeah.
Now who's a pussy?
And he does the cool just walking into the lake.
I love it.
Yeah, it's just very cool.
Oh, man.
Come on, just come into my little trap here.
Come on.
Just get to my trap.
Directly on the X where the Acme rocket is on.
What are you, Poussaid?
You're stupid.
Come on to eat some of this bird seed, Pousse.
It's definitely not filled with metal balls, Pousse.
Gonna get you with a huge magnet, Pousse.
I mean, this is close to an Acme thing.
like this giant rock and this chain
chain noose.
You mean that one?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Folks at home, I have a little toy of Jason
that's in a water column
kind of like a cheap skate fish tank almost
and he's just stuck to the chain.
It's pretty cool.
I got to refill the water though.
It's been evaporating.
Come on, Jason.
It's a tunnel that goes through the rock.
It's not an actual rock.
It's a total.
Go in through it.
Come on, you pussy.
I promise it's not a wall.
I mean, they would improve.
These cheap fucking rocket skates.
Damn it, Jason.
It would improve the series of Jason was holding up like a Yelp and stuff.
It would just be mother repeatedly.
Yeah, mother.
Yes, yes, perfect.
Mother.
So Tommy throws the rock down there with the chain on it.
I do love when it gets to the bottom the old welcome, the old welcome to Camp Crystal Lake sign.
They just hucked that fucking thing in the lake.
Like, nope, we're not going to burn it.
No, just right in the lake.
And it's just camp blood on it because they spray paint.
Yeah, which is pretty sweet.
I think you see in one of the, in either two, three or four, there is this spray painted.
Nice keeping that continuity going or whatever.
But then so, yeah, Jason, doing this big belly flop onto the boat, which is great.
You get this big boat fight, which is pretty cool.
Tommy lights the water on fire.
How deep is this like, it doesn't seem terribly deep, like maybe like nine feet, maybe.
I guess.
Maybe a little deeper than that.
So, yeah, yeah, but probably maybe 15.
Yeah.
They're also not like terribly far out.
That's what I mean.
Yeah, exactly.
So like Jason's down there, but not really.
It's just, it's barely covering his head.
It's the rock.
So you get the rock and then whatever the length of the chain is, right?
And then Jason, he's grabbing at her.
I think if like Kareem Abdul-Jabbaran went swimming in Camp Crystal Lake,
Jason be able to get his feet.
No tall swimming.
1520 is what I'm saying.
I think it's somewhere in that area.
So, you know, whatever.
It all goes down.
He gets the chain on him.
Jason goes down.
Tommy floating face down in the water
which Megan sees
and it's a great like
Yeah
Kids stay here
It's not a holy fuck
He's floating face down in the water
It's all right
I mean he's made out with him
We're not fucking gonna get married
That's true
Well he had your you know
His fucking face in your crotch
So what's that intimacy
That's the problem is that she's like
Oh fuck that makes me the final girl
Yeah
I gotta do something here don't I
Better save this guy
So I'm not the only one left alive here
So she goes out
She swims out to save him.
Jason grabs her leg right here.
And then like the motor boat, I love this.
The outboard motor gets going.
Great shot of Jason's eye when the motor starts.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Oh.
And then I love, when this thing snaps his neck, a bunch of like fish chum falls out.
Whatever the effect that it just looks like chum, which is great.
But yes, we're doing some CPR on Tommy here.
And I realize at this moment, because you see Tom Matthews kind of like laid out,
minus this like heavy denim jacket with the wool collar that it's got.
Underneath, he's kind of just dressed exactly like his return of the living dead character.
Kind of, yeah.
With like the suspenders and the shirt, the jeans and everything.
He looks almost exactly like him.
He is laid out here because he's getting some sweet mouth to mouth.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, get kissing.
But so the kids are all thrilled that Tommy wakes up here.
It's finally over.
Jason is home.
last shot Jason's eyeball
open. Oh yeah. And then man
this man behind the mask Alice Cooper's
song. I have loved it. It's so good. It's just like
I don't know quintessential 80s
metal rock. It's fucking great. Yeah.
But that is the end of the movie. We'll go
around the horn here for some final thoughts. Mr. Siska.
Oh yeah. No, I think it is my favorite
Friday the 13th movie. One of my favorite slashers
of all time. I just love it for various reasons that we've cited
already. Like I like that he's killing
rich people. I say like get Jason to the country club.
We've been saying that for years. I mean, think about him with a golf club.
You know, it'd be like Jack Nicholson taking a drive.
I wanted that Crystal Point thing where he goes to the rich side of the lake, Crystal Point,
and he starts fucking up the rich people at some swery.
Really what they should have done it. But the fact that they haven't done that yet is fucking disgusting.
Maybe we'll get some Crystal Point in this new Crystal Lake show that's coming up,
which has gotten some very good notices out of Toronto, by the way.
Really? I'm excited for that.
I'm excited to, whenever I rewatch this movie, big recommend.
There you go.
Chris Cabin.
Yeah, big recommend.
It's one of the better ones.
I think four edges this out for me.
But it is, it's definitely top five material regardless because it does get what I want from
these movies, which is kills, laughs.
Yep.
And like weird situations.
Like just like with a, you want some local flavor of like a, one of the few good things I
could say about that second of the.
of the Gordon Green
of Halloween's
Halloween kills yeah
that stuff right
the local stuff feels good
and that's this movie
just it's having fun with it
doing all the things I want for this movie
so yeah big big recommend
Crystal Lake Townies dude
you gotta love him Steve Saneck
yeah big recommend
Hardy recommend
second favorite of the
of the Jasons I like for a little bit more
but this is an efficient slasher machine
it's like 80 something minutes
it's everything you want
nothing you don't it's really lean
and actually really, really entertaining
and also a great put-out-at-a-party
slasher kind of a deal.
Yeah, yeah, big time.
I would probably say that
if it wasn't for the fact that this was my first ever Jason movie,
four probably would be my favorite,
but I just, I hold that as like,
it helped kick in my horror overdrive obsession
as a very young child in 1995 or something.
So, you know, it's always going to be when I go back to,
I literally watched this earlier this year.
On a previous Friday the 13th, you know, that happened on the calendar.
I threw it because you always got to celebrate Jason's birthday.
And I was, I watched that one.
And then when we were getting the spooktacular together, I was like, it's the fucking 40th anniversary, man.
Why not?
I will watch this movie twice in a year.
And, you know, we talk about this on the Scream episode that's on Patreon available now.
But we talked about how we hope, during COVID, we hosted a show to Drive-in.
We showed Scream and the second movie was this.
That's right.
Yeah.
So this is a nice.
full circle month of programming here, but that is going to do it for this episode.
But like Eric just mentioned, over on Patreon, there's always more offerings, including, yes,
a we love movies episode all about the 1996 scream that came out at the top of the month here.
That was just last week, as a matter of fact.
Also last week on Friday, had a little Melro 210 action.
Indeed. Jim and Cindy, you know, they're celebrate in 20 strong years together.
Oh, it's beautiful.
It's really good.
I would have like them to have more in the episode.
But that's fine.
a lot of other fun stuff is happening in the 90210 episode over Melrose Place,
the demons in the cauldron are a bubbling.
It's all fun.
It's, you know, Michael Mnesey's plot to take over the world is going apace.
He's doing quite well.
Great episode.
I just put it out, right?
Yeah, it just came out last Friday, as a matter of fact.
And so if you were listening to this on the day it comes out, which is, funny enough,
the 13th of October, which is a Tuesday, not a Friday.
But the Thursday, once in a lifetime, we have got a rocking West Craven TV movie.
Oh, boy.
Steve Sadek, invitation to hell.
Yes, I believe it's about, you know, a country club gone mad.
Robert Urick, the great Susan Lucci.
There's an astronaut shit.
It's whackadoo and really fun.
Invitation to fun is what I've been calling.
Honestly, it's really.
It's 1984.
This is when we were still like putting money into middle of the road TV movies.
So like not prestige TV movies that we have now and not like Shark Nato shit.
This was like we're given a decent-ish amount of TV budget money to make a weird movie and it's mostly TV actors.
This movie was made because Susan Lucci had a thing in her contract that was like,
I will do an ABC movie that I get to sort of star in and I extend my soap opera contract.
So that's why this movie exists.
It's directed by West Craven.
And it has one of the funniest cold opens I've seen it a long time.
And this is readily available if people want to watch along.
I want to say it's on tuby or what have it.
It's on tuby.
I watched it on Prime with no commercials.
So it's ready to rock and roll for your enjoyment.
And again,
it's another short fella.
So it's a great season of short movies.
So that's out this Thursday.
And then next week,
we got a rockin Halloween coded animation damnation.
Yeah,
we're finally doing the OG original Scooby-Doo.
It's a Halloween episode to Switch a Witch.
I believe the gang are dealing with a scary witch.
But I'm going to guess it's not actually.
a witch. If you take the mask off the end.
We'll find out the other 25 minutes.
Interesting guess. But it might not
be supernatural. Now remember, it's to switch
a witch, not witch swap. That's a different
video. Son, could you explain
this witch swap? Have you been
watching this on Shutter?
Next week, also, we're closing out the week
with a Gleep glossary action. Yes.
We're talking about
Beho-Dou-Baz, which is a
floating
like lobster or bug
X of a Jedi. It's a grossly.
Sounds great.
So we're doing that for Halloween on the Gleepe Gloucestry,
the Star Wars side show where we talk about random stupid characters from Star Wars.
And by the way,
I want to quickly mention here, too.
Yes.
Follow us on TikTok and Instagram.
We've been doing short form content.
That's very fun.
Get it everywhere.
Repost it.
Please.
We are at WHM podcast on those.
And also,
we hate movies on YouTube,
which is we hate movies.
That's right.
Yeah.
including all the short-form episode clip stuff, which had been really great.
Also, what debuted last month finally, and we're going month to month on these WHM tunes.
The great Nick Q is making these short-form cartoons out of our old bits and everything.
So I'm very, I don't know what he's got in store for October, but I'm very excited to see what that is.
And then the end of the month, Scaredty Cats 5 is dropping.
We are talking about Osgood Perkins' long legs.
We have not filmed that yet, but it's going to be a lot of fun to revisit that little guy.
But as always here on the main feed, the main show, W-HM, the show continues.
The spooktacular is just getting underway.
Next week, Steve, where are we going to?
It's another stop in Franchise Town.
We are.
We're going to the old doll factory, the all-night doll factory that never closes.
Child's Play 2, yes.
Really fun second entry into the Chuckyverse.
That's right.
And Steve, you mentioned it.
and after rewatching the first one last night as well,
I think you are correct.
It just might be,
and I got it, by the way, situation.
So find out what we think about that next week
when we're talking Child's Play 2.
Until then, I've been Andrew Juppen.
Stephen Seda.
Eric, Cisca.
Chris Gavin.
Take it easy.
