We Hate Movies - S3 Ep118: The Running Man

Episode Date: July 9, 2013

In this week's episode, the gang heads to a future ruled by reality television with the Arnold Schwarzenegger actioneer, The Running Man! How much bad Arnold acting can one film take? Why didn't they have Richard Dawson reference Hogan's Heroes? And who else was calling Dynamo "Lite-Brite"? Plus: This week in hypothetical shows, Andrew Jupin's Cinema Pickle, coming this fall to CBS! The Running Man stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto and Richard Dawson; directed by Paul Michael Glaser. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. And we hate movies. Welcome, foes, too, whatever. That's fine. Welcome to another episode of We Hate Movies, our summer blockbuster extravaganza. on hashtag SBE3 by the way i think not for nothing i'll put it out there probably our most

unsuccessful hashtag campaign well yeah it's a little weak yeah it's i mean it's not as good as the noid because nothing can be good as the noise you know hashtag bring back the noid let's switch let's go back to it it's the one that works it's our hit let's go for it yeah you know and they still haven't listened to everybody at domino's hashtag bring back the noid i want that red fucker back on my tv before christmas get that fucking poor ceo's attention. That poor guy. He's putting his head in an oven.

One of his 75 ovens in his house. I'm so sorry. I'm going to start an online campaign and you get to pick which pizza oven in my house. I throw my head into it. You know what? It's just a wash. We're turning it into a peanut butter and jelly company.

Domino's P.B. and J. We'll deliver. I didn't know you could make Domino sound more disgusting, but you managed Chris Cabin. Somehow, Chris Cabin figured it out. There's a way to make something more. disgusting Chris Capitol figure out. Hey, by the way, folks, the episode you're listening to right now is brought to you by Audible. We got some stuff here we want to plug because it is

in relation to this show. But we will say up front, of course, visit Audiblepodcast.com slash WHM. Get yourself a free audiobook download. And you may want to consider a couple of these titles we have for you. Today, we're doing the Running Man, 1987. Arnold Schwarzenegger film? Yeah, 87. And this book is called Total Recall, My Unbelievably True Life Story, by Arnold Schwarzenegger, narrated by Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's pretty awesome that he picked a title of one of his movies as, I mean, I guess it's not surprising, but it's cool that he did it. Well, it's one that worked out. He couldn't have done like red heat. That would have been like, well, I don't know, raw deal.

Raw deal. You know, that's if his life sucked. Maybe that's the sequel. about that kid that he Yeah, that's the last couple years of his life is called raw deal. He's a fair with his maid. That's called raw deal. And also, by the way, so we'll sort of segue into the discussion

of the film. But this movie, The Running Man, is based on a book by Richard Bachman, a.k.a. Stephen King. That's his gnome de plume when he writes science fiction stories. Oh, weird.

Is it under the dome that or no? I don't know if under the dome was or not. But what's, so what's the deal with? Is Stephen King reading this one? What's the audible deal? No, no, no. He wrote the book, but it's narrated by a man named Kevin Kernelie, Kennerly. Kennerly.

Kennerly. Kevin Kennerly. So there you go, folks. A couple of books that you can pick up with your free audiobook download. And it's really easy. Audible's totally awesome. Audible podcast.com slash W. W.H.M.

All right. The Running Man, 1987. Screenplay not written by Stephen King or Richard Bachman. None of them showed up. But do you think they were like trying to fit Arnold Schwarzenegger into, who obviously stars in this film? Do you think they were trying to fit him into like other King projects? Like, do you think that for a minute they were trying to get him to be in The Shining? Yeah, for literally one minute, I feel.

Wait, wait, if it was before his time as a star, maybe he was going to be a truck in maximum overdrive. Yeah, that would make sense. And Arnold Schwarzenegger as the voice of a truck? That would be fantastic. Cars 3. You know that's coming sometimes. I want to say at the top of the show,

some people are going to be upset we're doing this movie because this is kind of not really a bad movie. We've said before this is more of a comedy podcast about movies, but I just wanted to put it out there that I do really have an affection for this movie. as do I and I feel like we're laughing with it not at it I mean because here's the deal at the end of the day if you're like how dare you like you're missing it stop whining yeah if you're telling us to stop whining we're gonna tell you to stop whining well I mean to me the thing is that like Arnold Schwarzenegger aside from the Terminator movies he seems so out of place in every movie he's in oh he does with uh with the possible exception of Predator because Predator is amazing. But... Nothing possible about it.

But, like, raw deal... The best thing about Raw Deal to me, and Raw Deal is the affinity you guys have for this movie, would be my affinity for Raw Deal. Raw Deal's got a better DVD cover than this movie is. But, like, it's so preposterous. It's so preposterous that, like, he would be this, like,

just small town sheriff who's hanging around with all these, like, Harry Dean Stanton-looking motherfuckers. You're talking about the last stand, and not the running man. You watch the raw movie? I'm talking about Raw Deal. Oh, wait. Well, he's also a sheriff in Raw Deal.

And Harry Dean Stanton's in Raw Deal? No, I'm just saying they all look like that. He is in the last stand, Mr. Cabin. He is in last stand. I'm saying everybody looks like Harry Dean Stanton in that movie. Yeah, there's a lot of Harry Dean Stanton looking dudes. Also, the other thing, why he doesn't fit into movies outside of the Terminator is because in the Terminator, he's T-100. You know, and that's fine, because that's a robot name, and that's okay.

running man his name is ben richards do not sit here and tell me that that man's name is ben richards because it's not it's clearly not it's clearly t-100 or arnold sworetsonager or some other austrian name you're not ben richards and that's with every arnold swartzenegger detective john kimball yeah john kimball really erring on the side of a semitic last name Arnold Schwarzenegger. A little Semitic, I believe. Okay, showing your prejudice up front. I like it.

How about this for prejudice? You know what I'm drinking right now? A wine spritzer. Oh, man. Dear God. Yeah, fridge is running on a. So, Ben Richards, our hero, he starts out, he's kind of,

he's just like a helicopter cop. Yeah, he's basically that. He's a police officer that captain's a helicopter. Well, because let's set the scene a little bit here. For anyone who may not have seen the running man yet, this is, of course, a post-apocalyptic society. It takes place after the Obama administration. Well, because there's a scroll at the start that says 2017.

American economy has collapsed. For short years. For now. Yeah. And then by 2019, I guess the entire U.S. is based on this television show called The Running Man on the very popular, as you guys know, I-C-S network. I kept reading that as I-B-S. And I was like, yeah, I would have irritable bowel syndrome watching this movie.

And the whole country is like run by paramilitary forces, like it's fucking Indonesia or something. Whoa. Have you been? No, but they're run by paramilitary force. I do know that. We've got ourselves a reader. but yeah so it's it's one of those it's what we all fear right like reality tv has taken over this is like if the show splash with louis anderson came to control the united states government and they

started making you splash they started making you keep up with the Kardashians it's a real dystopian hell i would like to be made a real housewife of new york though you are you are a bad boy boy what the fuck is that you haven't heard about this bad boy bag there is a reality television show out there now about bag boys with mohawks when uh wait what specifically mohawks when does this air huh when does this air on what network it's on one of the new networks that's just reality tv i c s yes it is on i c s is this the start of i c s a fucking show about badass idiots who work at a grocery it's happening and now and also sky net's going online

oh jesus with a show like that what is it's just like every episode he sneaks an apple and the manager yells at him like I don't understand what that would even be about that's the concept of the series appears to be crumbum teenagers getting sassed by their dropout

managers what the fuck ever bad boy bag boys yeah I could what you gonna do I mean, I guess if you go to your grocery store and you're like, you know what, I could use more of this in my life. Yeah. You know what?

When I'm sitting at home relaxing, you know why I want to feel like I'm at the grocery store? Yeah, more shitty cheap disdain. That's what I want. Also, by the way, would you consider television host Richard Dawson as the pseudo president of the United States? Because he's the host of the running man. Well, he's not. He actually gets hassled by, uh, he at one time, at one time he, at one, point he gets a he gets a stern call from the

attorney general i mean he's very much riding his ass he's in he's in the inner circle but he's no president and uh but there is a president in this society still i think it might be emperor reagan based on it could have been based on 87 this is emperor Reagan this movie's made in 87

they find a way to make him live where everyone still dresses like it's 1987 yeah that's something i was going to point out the cars in this movie are super 1987. Richard Dawson drives around in like a maroon, Buick limousine. And it is a beautiful

car. I love looking at this car because you see a car like that in a movie like this and a guy like Richard Dawson gets out of that car and you're like instantly transported to exactly what that car is. It kind of smells like bourbon and tons of dead

cigarettes. Yeah. Fantastic way to live. And his fucking name is Killian with a k yeah i wanted to shoot myself when i saw that in the credits it's like that a real person killion's irish red isn't that's a that's a name i always just assumed with the c no no it's it's you can have it both ways but it's appropriate for this because he's a fucking monster because he's he's good at killing or set or facilitating killing facilitating killing he's a hands-off murderer yes that richard dawson by the way richard dawson of course

for those of you who don't know maybe some of our younger listeners who are just fans of the Steve Harvey era, the single greatest host of Family Feud. Richard Dawson. You know what's great is like, I think they still rerun it probably somewhere in the game show network or whatever. But if you ever see that on, check it out because, especially younger listeners, because you could see Richard Dawson sexually harassed women every single episode. With no remorse. Just like, guess what? We're kissing on the lips and I'm touching something.

That was the thing. that was his thing like ladies were excited to get on family feud get a little kiss from mr dawson that's ridiculous it's so ridiculous right i would love to see alex trebek just start doing it now start trying to kiss some jeopardy contest oh my god he's seen i'll get him off i don't know you've seen some of the people on jeopardy though you what you're saying you wouldn't kiss them so maybe uh thin down drew carry maybe he's in down is he still hosting the prices right yeah he's all over prices right you know i bet he could get some serious play all those midwesterns that come out to hollywood yeah how much is that dryer how much you think that dryer is why don't you come up here

let me smell you how much is a night with drew carry i heard he cleaned up his act though with what he was into uh he i think he was a big drinker maybe and uh definitely into like strippers and stuff like strip club addiction oh man i heard him talking about it on stern one time yeah drew carry What the fuck show did Louis Anderson host? Family feud, I guess. You're right. He was the fune. Oh, let's go to the board, guys.

And then there was also... Richard Kine fucking swooped in. Richard Kyn. Kern? Yeah, the guy from Hound is the guy from Spin City. Yeah, Richard Kine's the one you like. Yeah. Richard Kine is pretty great.

Richard Korn, you know, Al Borland, I'm fine with it, whatever. I was fine with it, too. I'm surprised that he's falling off the earth. And then what's his face? Mr. Peterman also hosted John O'Hurley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also a fantastic man. He was actually a pretty solid host

of the feud. As was Carn. You know, if Steve Sadek were sitting in the chair today, he'd be yelling at me about Richard Dawson. He's a big Richard Carn fan. I wish that you could get the sexual harassment back, because you know that John O'Hare, he could sell some sexual harassment. Oh, I bet you he gets away with all sorts of things.

All that off of Richard Dawson's limo, by the way, that's pretty good. All right, so Anyway, the running man. So, yeah, Arnold is this police officer who roams the skies. And the whole thing is, you know, this government or whatever, this network that runs the government is so corrupt. You know, he's like, you know, oh, we're flying over this area where there's a lot of population. And they're like, all right, wipe them out. But there are women and children.

I will not kill the women and children. They just want food. But, you know, so the whole thing, this is like the prologue of the movie, I guess, is he gets in a fight in the helicopter. with the commanding officer because he refuses to kill all these people and he winds up going to jail. So at first, he is working for the wrong side, but he's disgraced for being a good dude. Right. And it goes to, it goes to like a work camp or whatever. Right.

It's like, there's like, there's like dystopian FEMA-esque camps in this world. And Arnold ends up working as, I guess, a steel worker in one of these hard labor camps. Yeah. He's cutting rocks or welding steel or welding steel or, what i don't know president obamacare's uh fucking work camps well that's the thing is that whole scene is just to watch all sorts of hair fucking walk around with a steel beam on his shoulder he's wearing like a world's gym tank top yeah and he's got a beard it was awesome yeah it's it's kind of like seeing hugh jackman as wolverine for the first time and you're like well he's

got a beard there in that one part how about that everybody let hunk of mania run wild on me and this prison riot breaks out and we're actually we get to see something this is very important we see that these prisons of the future have the deadlock collars yeah from the feature film deadlock with rucker hower and our good friend stephen to belowski of course yeah and we actually get to see a really wicked head explosion it's pretty solid as a guy's trying to escape and it's i forget the guy's name but that guy is the guy who gets uh kevin spacy in trouble in l confidential because he beats him up. Is it really? Yeah, when he's like,

yeah, your fucking mother and Kevin's face, he just knocks him out in that prison riot. That's him. What a fine. That's all I remember. So, yeah, there's a prison riot and somewhere along the way Arnold decides to break out. Does he break out during this riot or is it later?

The riot happens because of the first movement for the breakout to happen. Like they sort of stage it away like he starts fighting yafat koto oh right yafat koto of course is his buddy in the movie plays mr big and live and let die of course he's an homicide he's like the big cheese and homicide great actor is he dead no i don't think he's dead

that's gonna be a sad day i love yafank koto yeah he's good so they're fighting and it makes this big distraction and like the whole place kind of breaks out and then that's when they can seize their opportunity get these guns from these guards and start really making a go at this so he breaks out and you know there's this like there's a whole undercover movement it's very children of men kind of a thing but they don't really do anything they don't do shit and then they're pissed off when arnold comes in he's like well i want to do something and they're like oh really well because they think he's the because in the helicopter thing they ended up they

did end up shooting everybody in that little ride in the beginning right so let's discuss the technology that they have in this world. So what they have is video augmentation technology that made it look like Arnold's character went crazy and was like, you know, I'm going to kill all these people. And they put in like the radio operator being like, you know, no, I'm your commanding officer. Those are innocent civilians. Of course, you know, it was the other way around. But they're able to like make video of the shit. It's total propaganda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's going on it's uh it's like uh it's like a mocking jay the third uh hunger games book nope all right sure fine um so yeah so he is now deemed the butcher of baker's field because this is where

this happened baker's field california and when he goes he goes to meet uh the resistance led by fucking mick fleetwood like whatever what like what are you doing what are you doing what are you doing putting Mick Fleetwood in your movie and like did was it just like a weekend he had nothing to do I mean this is this is kind of like Mick Jagger and Free Jack like what are you doing there what are you doing there Mick Fleetwood but even Mick Jagger he's like he's a central character he's in this movie for two scenes and that's it also no reason if you're going to hire someone from Fleetwood Mac to be in this movie uh ring lindsay buckingham by the way What the fuck are you doing calling Mick fucking Fleetwood?

Don't you want a handsome guy? Well, no, because you know what? You have to have your long white hair. Yeah, that's, I mean, fucking. But, I mean, at this point, nobody's going to own up to fucking Michael Cain and Children of Men. That was the best long, scraggly white hair ever. The best, the only dude that Michael Cain replaced at the top of that list is Sean Connery at the beginning of the rock. All riders must be a limited.

The hell with you. I would not buy unhelpless people. before admission they've done back to face Arnold has gotten better at acting over the years He's like peaked And then now it's falling back

Because he's just old and confused And honestly the start of this movie Holy crap is he a terrible actor When he's doing the Bakersfield scenes Like the massacre scene In his helicopter It's outrageously terrible What are you talking about

There are women and children Like actually that was better than him Yeah you just did a great job Oh god damn it I should be Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is like flinchingly terrible acting in this movie, which is just absolutely hilarious. But like case in point, when they throw that net around him and he just makes this noise. And there's kind of like a slow motion, him falling to the ground with those big teeth out.

And you're just like, oh boy, somehow you made this work. I don't know how, but you made this work. They take the Mick Fleetwood playing Mick the head of the. resistance. Guaranteed that's because if they referred to him in a scene as a different character, he didn't fucking understand that someone was talking to him. It's like, now Mr. Simpson, when I say hello, Mr. Thompson and step on your foot, you say hello. Wait, what? No, it's okay, Mick. He's talking to you. No, Mick, you're just going to take that collar off of him. Yeah, he is like the sort of like the weapons expert of like decommissioning these collars and everything. Mick Fleetwood,

Mixed. And, I mean, again, that's almost the only thing he does in this movie is take off that collar for him while he's fucking smoking a cigar. Yeah, of course. Of course. We're an explosive. By the way, the airport scene has one of my favorite lazy scenes, but we should set up. Favorite what? Has one of my favorite lazy screenwriting things. I thought you said lazy Susan's. I was like your least favorite example of cinematic kitchen accessories. Yes. It's exactly what I'm talking. about. Even in the future, everything, shit.

After good old Ben Richards, he gets out of the resistance camp. He finds an apartment that he thought was his brothers, but is now rented by Maria Conchita Alonza. Because his brother was arrested. Amber. Amber Mendez.

Yeah, yeah. And so he, like, essentially takes her hostage. And they go to the airport. And the reason he needs her is she has one of these passcode things that allows you get on the plane. Right. Right. He uses it as if there's no real identification that comes

with it. Like it wouldn't come up, Amber Mendes. But he uses it. And then because she takes too long searching for her passcode in her purse, the guy just lets them go. Oh, it's ridiculous. It's a police state. They would never allow

it. Like there's some fat woman who's just like, are you kidding? Like, fucking Roseanne is behind them in line. Like, oh, really, let's hurry up, huh? In reality, that Roseanne lady would be getting the Billy Club. Shut up. We're doing this. In defense of this film, in a fascist state, as we all have read our Mussolini, the trains must run on time.

And I'm sure that the trains is also references the planes and automobiles. Of course. And steamships, hot air balloons, they all have to run on time. Like clockwork. and there was a big queue building up, man. You know, you got to keep things going. And Arnold, surprisingly, does not that bad of a job of playing this. Oh, honey, this person, and all these women, you know what I'm saying, huh?

Oh, there is so much terrible acting in that scene, too. And I mean, and half of his comedy work, and this comes into play is half of his comedy work, I feel, is him wearing shirts that nobody would wear, except for, like, a fat show. Slub, and, like, he's got this fucking Hawaiian shirt on that. He's dressed, like Hannibal Lecter at the end of Silence of the Lambs. There's a great line in this where, where, uh, Mendez says that, like, she's going to puke on him. And Arnold's just like, in this shirt, it wouldn't even show. This shirt already looks like there's vomit all over it. It's fine. So, uh, so he's brought down by these dudes, uh, who work for Richard Dawson, essentially.

Yeah. And Richard Dawson sees the video footage of him being brought down and, like, running. And he's like, who is this dude? And then he remembers that there's some, there's jailbreak footage. And he puts two and through the ghetto. And he's like, oh, like, what a beautiful specimen and all this creepy shit. Well, he saw the breakout footage. And that's what made them catch him is that he wanted him for the show.

Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. And he gets him for the show. And here we go. Like, the rest of the movie is essentially just an episode of the running man. Yeah.

And we're treated to a, what I learned was a Paula Abdul choreographed dance as like the warm-up act for this insane murderous gladiator show. This is fucking in living color, man. The fly girls come out before there's going to be televised carnage. Jennifer Lopez is there just for some reason. And just the plain of how ridiculous this television network is, I noticed that in Richard Dawson's office, There's a poster for a television show called The Hate Boats. Because it's like the gritty, realistic reboot of the Love Boat, I guess. He also, you see another show that's on the network called, what is it, climb?

Climb the rope? Climb for your life or something like that. Oh, yeah, that's when dogs are trying to bite you. I thought a Rottweiler's nibbling at his knees. It's a climb for the money or something. And it's a dude of the big hunk $100 bills in his mouth climbing a rope, and Rottweilers are nipping at his feet. There's another poster. I didn't catch what it was, what the name of the show was.

But the poster's literally a terrified old man. This is quality television. I'd watch that show. And there's one more, and we can end it after that. But it's just called pain. It's just in big, fucking bold letters, pain. Well, this is what happens when, like, if

the Japanese reality shows really took off. Right, right. You know what I mean? They do some crazy shit over there. That's not so much. I It's no joke. I read some trivia that this was, like, part of this was based on some Japanese television show. Super amazing adventure hours. Yeah, it's all these is people getting bludgeon to death. There's also, since we're talking about ICS television programming,

Jesse Ventura as Captain Freedom, who was a gladiator, who was a stalker, as in one of the hunters of the running men in the running man, has moved on to become a sports broadcaster in that feature. but also has an awesome workout video, which I would be doing it every day if I had this. If you got that guy to make an actual workout tape, like the Jesse Ventura full body workout video, I'd buy it.

How amazing would that be? A bunch of slack-jawed word I don't want to say. He's peppering in conspiracy theories between sets. You know, the other thing about the Denver Interested, National Airport. Squat 2, 3, 4. Squat 2, 3, 4. Another thing about underground bases you might not know. Oh, yep, now we're going to take a breather. Get some water while I tell you about the gray aliens that landed in my backyard last night. And honestly, smoke as much pot as you want. I'm smoking weed right now doing this conspiracy workout tape for you.

Hey man, come on. Don't bullshit me. but yes so much like paul o'neill colony yankee game he sort of like does some analysis for the running man so let's explain how the running man show works the three hour block of programming which again it's getting kind of terrifying how much our reality show programming is running into what this is because i see shit on here like three hours of the biggest loser we have the analysis show we have the rating show we have the workout show like so it's three hours three hours of this nonsense and what it is is there's a couple of folks that get dropped down, like they put them in like a big egg-shaped cage and they get dropped down a tunnel. I guess so they get dizzy before they get out. I didn't understand what, like,

just set them loose in the arena. I guess it's pretty, like they want you in for the in-studio segment, but the arena is kind of far away, I guess, in like a shithole part of L.A. It looks like escaped from L.A. This whole, fucking, the area they have to fight. They say that the area is something like

400 city blocks or so how big is it it's like a huge amount of space yeah i think it's like part of the city but they also have like tiny levels like tiny like tiny like the first like the first one that will and we'll get to it in a minute but the first one with sub zero it's just kind of a small little space where you have to fight them right so the whole thing is you know if you're a contestant quote on the show uh you are a running man you're a runner the show's called the running man you're a runner There is some bureaucracy to go with this because Richard Dawson has to get on the line to the Justice Department's Entertainment Division, which now exists. And by the way, Arnold, instead of being like, oh, like, here's your lawyer to defend you for your case or, like, to help you get through this running man experience. He has a court-appointed theatrical agent.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Who, amazing scene when he signs the contract because he asked her. I guess he's under duress here. he stabs the dude in the back with the pen because the guy was like oh just just use my sign it on my back there's no flat surfaces here besides it that just sticks it right to him like martin luther on those goddamn doors

yeah yeah that's that's how heavy is that what happened that's how heavy a contract is with uh with uh the running man so now we have lutherans so you are you know a runner and you get blasted into this cage this arena and then so what happens is the audience decides which big fat professional wrestler is going to chase after you first

and they're called the stalkers and these guys all have like a special skill set that I can put to you used to put you down and you know they're all like kind of superpowers and shit which this whole like thing

so this thing has been going on for a while now the ring man has been it's a goddamn American pastime at this point take that baseball this is like six seasons I'd say this is like America trans playing Parmistan's the game

into like the body count has to be outrageous well that's the thing is I don't understand they don't really specify how many episodes of this they do a year so you don't know how many people are dying from the last year's run of episodes

though we learn that there were only three winners and again you know as as we'll find out a little later in the movie but a lot of this like propaganda and shit they're like here's these guys that won last year and if you win, you can be on this Hawaiian island and blah, blah, blah.

They're dead, but we'll find them later. And so, yeah, so these dudes chase you around. The whole thing is, if you make it through all the levels you win, and it's essentially you have to kill them. You have to kill the people who are trying to kill you. Yeah. So Arnold's out on stage. He's

strapped into this thing, ready to roll. And Richard Dawson says, well, I have a surprise for you. Your teammates, this timeout, are the other dudes that you broke out of jail with. So they've kidnapped Yafet Koto, the egghead dude. I think his name is Weiss in this. Yeah, Marvin J. McIntyre.

Yeah. He's been in other stuff I forget right now. And so... Kind of looks like a young Max von Seidow a little bit. He does. Hey. Yep. And they are, they're in these, um, these, these like spandex outfits that you have to have

to play the running man. And I just wanted to bring it up a little briefly here because, very unflattering on Yafat Kota. One size fits all my ass. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's, that's false advertising. It's like, do you have to humiliate people then kill them? You know, if I'm going to be put on the running man,

a pair of jeans, hey, a t-shirt? Yeah, you know. Why do we have to, come on? I mean, I've got some, like, short shorts on right now. You would look great dead in those. If I would, I would leave an exquisite corpse. If you were sub-zeroed in that, He would look fine.

But they look like they're dressed. Like, if you put all of them together, they look like they could be on a fucking bobsled team. Like, that's what these outfits look like. And that's sort of what this cart is that they all get launched off of, like, they all have like their individual pods. Yeah. And they're all launched by John Candy. Yeah. Telling them to believe in themselves.

So we start off this thing and they bring up this old lady from the audience. And they're totally playing up the Richard Dawkins. Dawson being on the feud thing because this old lady comes up and gives her like a big old hug and she's so fucking horned out to meet him and all this shit. You almost said Richard Dawkins which would be great if all of a sudden he brought up

this old lady and was just telling her there was no God. She starts crying. There's no God it's stupid. So yeah, so this lady comes up and she's like well my favorite of all is sub-zero and out comes this big old dude who's got like a hockey stick

and shit. So like they land in subzero's level it's very video game ish you know oh it's super video gameish uh they land in like an ice rink and here comes sub zero and he's on skates and he's got a hockey stick with like a blade attached to it gigantic asian hockey player he's a big fucking dude yeah yeah yeah and he's got explosive pucks oh it's

the real deal this is life threatening bag of tricks you know like they always need to have an insanely superior edge on the running men. Right. You know, they get all sorts of superpowers and the running men just have to run. And this hockey stick he has is like razor

sharp. It's like cutting through a fucking chain link fence and all sorts of nonsense. So Arnold has a big old like, you're not today and starts fighting back and strangles this man with barbed wire. What a way to go.

Yep. Sub-zero. Now just plain zero. He has so many of these goddamn one-liners in this movie. I'll be back makes an appearance. He says that to Richard Dawson. Definitely does. How many times

has he said I'll be back? In this movie? No, no, no. In movies. More than he should have. Obviously, in the main ones, the Terminator. The Terminator. But he's definitely said it in this. He might say

it in Commando. He does. He definitely. says, I'm almost positive. He says it in Jingle all the way. Oh, God. That's way too far into the 90s to be saying, fucking I'll be back for Christ's sake. He probably said that in Terminator 3. Well, I don't think he says anything

in Terminator 3. Talk to the house. Oh, no, I'm thinking about 4. I'm thinking about Salvation. Salvation doesn't say fucking word. No, he just comes up, well, because it's a fucking computer. Yeah, but even computer, Schwarzenegger. Yeah, no. See, that's the missed opportunity of Terminator's salvation. You've got a CGR on Schwarzenegger,

all you need to do is find yourself one of those great online Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboards. You have a blast with that. I love those things. And just put it all on there. Fuck it. It's the end of the movie.

Put it all on there. It's like all the five same lines. That's just so amazing. Who is your daddy? And what does he do? It's all the kids. It's not a tumor. Not a tumor.

So on and so forth. What's great about this is he kills this fucking dude. And everybody in the audience is like, well, you know, all hope is not lost. We have some more stalkers on the way. Meanwhile, Maria Conchita Alonso is, like, sifting through files.

She works for ICS. Right. As she writes jingles for commercials, which is funny. But she's, like, sifting through the files, and she finds, like, the unedited footage of the massacre that Arnold supposedly, you know, conducted and everything like that. And then she gets caught by Richard Dawson. cronies and is brought into the show. Yeah, she's sentenced to death for being in the tape library.

After hours. She didn't have a hall pass. She's going to be killed. By the way, why not save her? There's going to be another episode very soon that you're going to need somebody for. You already got three people on this one. But this way, like they know that she was at the airport with Schwarzenegger. So it's like a very easy way like, oh, and what do we have here?

Ben Richards' girl friend. Oh, we don't lie, honey. No, we don't lie. We'll tell the folks all about her. Oh, she's a slut. And she's a scaffold. Yeah, they do make a point of saying, like, she's had two or three sexual partners in the last year.

Yeah, no, they really drag her name through the mud before she dies. I love how it's not even excessive. No, it's a... She's a modern, working woman. Throw her to the pit. she's college educated kill her she's unmarried

big hole I tell us like I tell us like unmarried there's an annoying thing where Richard Dawson keeps referencing old TV shows and no one gets him and it's like a ha ha ha but when he's talking to I think he's talking to the

justice department entertainment division and he makes some crack about Gilligan's Island and he's like you know Gilligan's Island the one with the boat uh yeah and all that shit and i was like make a hogan's heroes joke you were on hogan's heroes how great would that be

make a hogan's hero oh no okay we're just going to not all right fine and wasn't he also on the love boat and i think that's where hate boat comes from is i think he was he i think he was on the love boat um i can't confirm that i know he was on hogan's heroes i'm almost positive he was on the love boat but so sub zero gets fucking you know cut up with uh the bar wire so now it's time they've got to deal with two two killers and it's um one of them i just called a light bright guy well well the first one we have up here is a fellow by the name of buzz saw buzz saw buzz saw he looks like a really stroking out professional wrestler and he's got a chainsaw

yes the other fella is an obese man wearing a light bright leotard uh and kids at home we don't know what light bright was you should check it out because it was totally awesome Yes. And he sings Paliachi when he fucking gets on stage. He's got like a Roman helmet that lights up. And Arnold's got that great line of, hey, Christmas tree. Which is totally out. Dynamo. Dynamo.

So yeah, they're double teaming them. They chase them down on motorcycles. And by the way, the whole other plot here is nerdlinger and the other guy, Yafat Koto, say something about jamming the network. So their whole thing is, like, they're trying to take them down from the inside while playing the game. And it's like, I guess, like, I guess you, you get, I get it. You really want to see the show and ruin and whatever. But there's these fucking professional wrestlers trying to kill you, like prioritize what you're doing.

But they have, but, you know, there's Arnold Schwarzenegger, Braun, and then these guys are just brain and they're like, well, you know, let's try to hack the Matrix here a little bit. I feel that's why Yafat Koto is the first to go. this movie though because he's like not enough brawn and not enough brain either he just like gets easily aggravated and he's got that punch he's a big dude like he's got a wide chest and everything but he's kind of just

fat and he just gets killed not instantly but he gets mortally wounded I should say he does get mortally and buzz kill just takes it to his side at one point like right when he enters the arena gets the old the old leather face right to the gut but again like I in this kind of movie

and like I thought weirdly enough I thought a lot about Demolition Man when I was watching this movie Yeah yeah It's like that's what the resistance is there for Is for the geeky stuff of like We're gonna hack these people Jamming the network

Where the fuck is the resistance They come in later guys For a minute It's so it's so poorly planned But they help hack the Matrix At the very very end But like Which is the climax of the film

I don't need Weiss doing this shit while he's while this is happening but what do you want weiss to do like want him to die i want him to die i want him to die god no mr weiss you're going to die you're the guy voting at home huh yeah calling up call up the uh the hotline thumbs up thumbs down yeah but like great but it would make sense because the all the shots we see during these uh during this whole thing are of people who are really for the game, who love the game. And, like, usually,

and it's good to have this tension of, like, okay, yeah, there are people who love this show, but where are the people who hate the show? Because I can't believe everybody loves this fucking thing. And the resistance is obviously somebody who doesn't. The resistance tunes in to PBS on the nights that the Running Man airs. They refuse to watch it. They're watching Charlie Rose.

I'm talking to, I don't know who. I wonder who's famous. Four hour documentaries on Woody Allen. Talking to Jesse Ventura. All right. Side question. Four years from now into the future. The running man exists.

It can't be hosted by Richard Dawson because we sadly lost him last year. But so it's hosted by, whatever, Louis Anderson. No, it's going to Gagherry. He gave up that minute to win it. It's going to Gagherry. Minute to Win.

win it dude holy fuck what a black hole on the nbc schedule they really fucked that up who watched minute to win it ever minute to win it is named because you're changing the channel in a minute yeah if you changed that channel in under a minute you totally won one one life not watching that show yeah but i i'm certain if when slash if running man becomes a thing guy theory is the host All right. So Guy Fierry is hosting this program, probably on NBC. So if that show had a call-in thing where you could call and vote like, you know, kill whoever's on it this week. Maybe it's like, maybe it's a special celebrity running man. And it's like, call in. Who do you want to kill? Donald Trump, carrot top, Daniel Baldwin.

Jim Belushi. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, would you guys? call in and cast a vote for someone to be murdered, Jim Belushi. I watched one episode of the Real Life Running Man. It was the episode that only had one appearance by Jim Belushi. I would love to see that. With the voting in, would you, like, what would the voting be,

exactly what would the voting, if he lives or dies? Well, yeah. So like, on a, uh, just to be a contestant. Well, no. So, like, he's on the show. They all made it. They're all in the show. Oh, well, if it's Donald Trump, then he's,

getting killed by who they could fucking send droopy dog in there to kill him and you'd kill him get back here dono here i come with my mullet i would do it i think i would do it if they if they advertise like anonymous calls i might do it i would okay here's the thing i wouldn't this is so terrible i wouldn't do it on like the regular season of the running man where it's just poor innocent people getting handpicked to do this but you're talking about a celebrity running man yeah terrible celebrity running man i'd probably vote i might vote a couple of times i'd go to like i'd go to best buy and buy like a bunch of cell phone burners so i had like 10 burners just sitting around in case they tried keeping track of which phone number as many running man votes in as possible

I might do it. You're a super fan. I've had the best buy. I got 10 burners. The guy's like, you're having a running man party, aren't you? I'm like, yeah, yeah, these are all just for me, though. I do have people coming over.

We're going to try to vote Jim off this week. Yeah, well, uh, Catherine Heigel's on this week, so I got to get on there. Catherine Heigel's episode, uh, they get rid of her by making her try to read a book and her head explodes. Catherine Heigle. Remember her? Yep. All right, so these two fat guys are running after everybody.

And Buzzkill or Buzzsaw, whatever his name is. Who Buzzsaw gets it? Man, oh, man. This is when I was like, I will love this movie for the rest of my life. Because Arnold's fight with this guy, and this guy's coming at Arnold with a chainsaw. And it's really scary. And Arnold says, this guy goes something to the effect of like, this saw is a part of me. It's going to be a part of you now.

And it's going to be a part of you. And Arnold says something like no thanks or whatever And chainsaws this dude's dick His fucking shaft and his tank It's all gone Right up through it And then when The Lady Fair says like

Oh where's a buzz saw And then Arnold's just like He had to split Yeah to split But that's the thing Is he just like cutting him up to like the belly Because he's obviously dead right Or is he going the full giant mnemonic

And he's going all the way through Not going all the way, Chris. He's got to conserve his energy. He's playing running, man. He's got, you know, once you get up, you know, you do the dick because that's going to down him for good. Yeah. And then you do a little extra just for good measure, just for yourself, you know? Yeah, because you're like, listen, you know, I could saw this dude's, like, dick off or whatever.

And, like, they might get paramedics to him in time or something like that. And I don't want Buzz saw to be saved. I'll say full pelvis. Ben Richards went up full pelvis, got rid of that whole pelvis. Yeah. And then I feel like then Once he got to like his beer gut The chainsaw like broke

And he was like what this will have to do And just let him go This gut is harder than diamonds I cannot cut it This indestructible beer gut It's that it's diamond Or it's liquid metal That's probably another thing

That's probably another thing that Jim Belushi has That would be one of his strengths On Celebrity Running Man He checked them He'd like check people with his beer gut Oh I thought you were gonna get me there look at these diamond hard beer gut abs

and then someone launches a fucking nuclear missile and just blows the whole arena well if you listen to him his balls are made of steel so you can't saw through him you're going to cut through these brass balls oh fucking piece of shit

so the other guy opera man there dynamo dynamo excuse me he's trying to go in for the kill and he's just singing at these people That is some unthreatening shit. If some dude's coming at me and he's just singing the opera, I'd be like, well, what's this guy's problem?

I get electrocutes the shit out Weiss. Well, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. He's got like the force lightning. This suit, like, gives him force lightning, like Emperor Palpatine. And he, yeah, he fires up Weiss. And he kind of fires up Mendez as well. But, yeah, yeah.

Weiss was hacking the Matrix and found out, like, finally found out the correct security code in order get in, tells it to Mendez and then gets zapped to ruin. Yeah, he's just, he's instantly dead, right? We don't mean he's just gone. Yeah. Uh, because we do come back to Yafat Kota, who's still kind of kind of bleeding out. There's a great thing

that happens after, uh, BuzzSaw gets killed where they're like, oh, we lost another one or something like that. Uh, and there are so many hilarious closeups of audience members yelling boo at Richard Dawson. It's a

amazingly hilarious. Well, that, I mean... That's all the stuff they edited out of the family viewed. You think you're so goddamn charming? Boo! You kissed my wife. Boo! And she said she lacked it.

Boo her and boo you, Richard Dawson. I'll be waiting for you outside in the parking lot. She makes me wear a mask of your face during love night. Dude, love night at your house. Wow. Put on this Richard Dawson mask. I want to pretend like I'm being molested on national television. I had it specially made for her birthday. I thought it was a gag gift, and now it's in the regular rotation.

I had to have five more made. They got worn out. This is ridiculous. Do you know how expensive it is to make a Richard Dawson mask? So, Dynamo. he uh he comes out arnold with like a dune buggy and arnold makes him flip this thing and he's kind of like wedged in it and arnold comes up with this huge pipe and i was like yep here we go there's going to be some great line to be like time to lay some pipe there's something like that and he jams it down and i'm like yeah fuck you dynamo no because arnold's got to be the hero darn it in this movie and he's only jammed it right by dynamo's head and he's like you know

I would not harm an innocent, unarmed person or whatever. Unless they were in a group of people, then I would open fire. I would fire at wheel. Which, by the way, what a moment to say lights out. It's right there. Yeah, it is right there. God damn. You should have...

No, you know what? I almost said... I take this back before I even said it. I almost said he should have killed Dynamo and left Buzzsaw, but that would have meant I didn't get that chain. out of the dick, which you can't take that out of this movie. Here's what should have happened then. Because we want to play with the whole opera angle of Dynamo singing

opera while out there on the Running Man field. Instead of Buzz saw's penis being destroyed, he destroys Dinamos, and then he can go, ah, the Fatalati sings. Because you are no longer a mom. Yeah, that one. I like that one. He kind of looks like the eunuch in

Game of Thrones, by the way. Doesn't he? He totally does. That Dynamo. so yeah so so egghead is dead and it's arnold and maria conchita alonso and they go back to uh what's his face yafat koto at this point and they're like you know listen we got the codes like we can bring down the security whatever like let's go yeah fat koto says yeah i'm my goose is cooked i got to stay behind and whatever so also at this point by the way the three dudes that they have lined up to be the stalkers are, they're done, they're out. So they now have to start calling in the reserves.

Enter in Jim Brown as Fireball, which is the greatest character in this movie. But I'm going to disagree with you on this for one reason, one of reason. With what, me saying he's the greatest character in this movie? Well, because, man, Jim Brown is so nice. I don't believe him as this cutthroat,

like, as a person in, like in Mars attacks, totally believe. Because he's like saving people. He's helping out. Him as it's like, I'm going to kill everybody with this flame thrower guy. It just doesn't calculate for me.

Right. So I see what you're saying. He's just too, like even his line delivery. It's not like he can be really menacing. He's just kind of big and like imposing. But like villainy I don't get. And this is supposed to be as villainous.

And I mean, I get it. Light Bright over there wasn't exactly what like making me cower. But at least he took a life. Right. So Richard Dawson's trying to piece the scraps of this show back together. Like, they did not anticipate Arnold fighting back in this fashion. So he says, you know, fireball, suit up, get ready to go. I'm pretty sure this is the only time in recorded cinematic history.

You see Jim Brown take off in a jetpack, which is that is the greatest thing ever. Is Jim Brown just launching off like, sorry, ladies, I got to go to work. I just blasts off into the sky. It's so awesome. Well, he also has these, like, gray streaks in his hair. Yeah, he looks like a black-poly walnuts in this movie. It looks ridiculous. So he, because he's been sitting in the locker room, so he's ready for action now.

And they head out, and he's fireball because he's got a gigantic flame thrower. And this is probably the most exciting part of the movie. There's some good action going on here, of dodging all the fire and everything like that. There's an awesome moment. There's a bit a lot of this with summer blockbusters, I feel, where Arnold now is the one huck and some barrels at him. like Donkey Kong and there's chemicals going all over the place and he lights

off the flamethrower and it's a wall of fire and Arnold's just like but I did it, he's dead and like Jim Brown just stoically walks through this fire and I was like he didn't have a fire suit on liquid metal also not for nothing

your back is full of gasoline. Yeah how are you getting that tank through there? You're just walking through here and you're just dude man. I guess. guess not the heated gasoline doesn't do anything it's the future man it's the future man so then they start they cut back to the audience but this is a great thing and richard dawson is asking this old lady uh like who he who she thinks is going to win or whatever and she goes uh i think

ben richards is going to win that boy's one mean motherfucker and i was like yes old lady's swearing is one of the cutest things you can ever see in your life. My favorite because I just rewatched it recently, my favorite old woman cursing moment isn't super bad or she tells Jonah Hill, have fun fucking jewels.

See, it's cute. So the tables turn on Richard Dawson almost completely. The show is blowing up in his face because the audience starts rooting for the runners. Well, also the bets, the gamblers are going for Ben Richards. There are so much gambling going on in this movie. It's like,

it's that kind of gambling I don't understand. Like, Andrew Juppin in the world of gambling, do not really go hand in hand too well. I don't understand things where someone's like, like, people yell at a dude and throw money at him. And somehow this dude is keeping track of what those bets are. Well, it's like that, like, in Boardwalk Empire, when you like, or no, it's in public enemies where like you go to the back around,

like the hidden gambling places where they have a bunch of phones and people are taking bets and there's just a humongous chalkboard where something's going on yeah that's when i see those chalkboards i'm like what the fuck are you talking about like i just don't get it i so like so that's what you see there's a couple of shots of like it's kind of funny because it's even the decrepit lowest cast of this post apocalyptic society is gambling on stuff they're in a junkyard well i think if you're gambling in a junkyard you're on tough times brother this two muck his chalkboard in the middle of a junkyard. I think, like, people aren't, like, handing him, like, $200, and then they give

them, like, a receipt. There's receipts? They're handing little tickets. Oh, I see. And I don't know if it's specific to the information, but I believe, like, Richards is on the board for, like, 100 to 1 odds or something. Yeah, that I do remember, 100 to 1 odds. I mean, they're pulling it off, I guess.

I mean, honestly, a little too fast-paced for my taste. I wouldn't know what was happening. When I go to a casino, I'm too neurotic to do anything but a sloth. lot machine, because no one at a slot machine is going to yell at me. Like, I always had this fear. Like, I enjoy playing things like Blackjack or maybe some Texas hold them or whatever. But I've got this big neuroses about, like, you know, you get to a table and you make a move. And then there's some dude down at the end of the table with a huge cowboy hat on that stands up, like, all offended and the way, you know, stares you down and whatnot.

This is where gambling belongs, Deadwood. Now, if I lived out there in that time. Sure. I'll enjoy a game of gamble. But now... Wait, wait, wait, wait. You'd enjoy what? A game of gamble. Okay, just checking.

You may be multiple. Depends on how much time I have. It wasn't called poker, it wasn't called poker or like blackjack around there. It was just like, I knew a gamble. I'm sure. Gamble one, gamble two. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. We're playing gamble two.

I thought we were playing Gamble four. I got all the wrong cards. See, that's the thing is, that's a misconception. Back then, people thought, you know, everyone's like, oh, they played poker back then. No, no, no. Poker meant you were facilitating the use of a prostitute. But you play a game of gamble. That's a card, too.

And most men didn't want to get poker-faced. I guess that whole concept was introduced in the second season of Deadwood. I always saw the first ones. Also, by the way, the tables turn in this movie a little bit. There's a little bit of a twist we find out. while they're running from Fireball Arnold and Maria Conchita Alonza split up

and she runs into this locker room where there's a bunch of corpses and she's reading like the name tags and of course it's the three winners from last season that are supposedly living it up in Maui or whatever and they've just been butchered and they're just rotting corpses in this

abandoned locker room on the course like why would you now this is this is what I understand I think it's a cool twist because, like, you know, it's nice to know that they're dead and not living it up. So, you know, like, the stakes are raised for Arnold because, like, he's not getting out of this anyway. But the whole concept of this thing is

you're being filmed at all corners. There's cameras everywhere following you around, blah, blah, blah. Why are they leaving the corpses of last year's winning contestants? You know, just out in the course. Well, I mean, it's part of the laziness of this movie is because, like, as far as... Yeah, the lazy Susanness of this movie. The lazy Susan of this movie.

The lazy Susan of this movie. movie is that like if we're going to have this and this is supposed to be the most popular TV show ever and like every level looks like rubble it's just rubble upon rubble upon rubble there's been a lot of games played but but my point is like why not have like some like and this would be a visually engaging thing for me in the movie like a new level like a fucking one that's like in a hospital or one that's like ice plan oh we had ice plan yeah Anything like that, like a change-up of like, here's a new terrain that you have to get used to. Waterworld.

Yeah, water world. I want a water world. You know what? Here's the thing then. You guys would love the Hunger Games, man. They change that shit. There's terrain moving all over the place. It's fucking great.

I saw the movie. The other two books are good. I'm excited for the movies. I don't know how to read. Get read a book. All by the lights. so let's move ahead here a little bit fireball gets killed it's fucking great there's a huge explosion his gas tank gets cracked Arnold throws a road flare out of and says have a light which is fantastic so he's dead so now they got nobody

they have to bring jesse the body ventura out of retirement captain freedom captain freedom is gonna go out and he's pissed off at richard dawson because they make him dress up in like this mech suit and he's like you know back in my day when i was playing on the running man I have any of these fancy fru-frew stupid costumes this is about life and death and gladiator loyalty kill with your hands by the way i think jessie ventura does a great job in this movie i was fantastic i just like making fun of the way he speaks but yeah his performance is fantastic he encounters arnold and whatnot but it doesn't work out so they have to simulate it with the computer technology yeah they totally fake it they use like

like a stunt double for Arnold, and they put on like, like, uh, they use CGI to like put Arnold's face on them, sort of like, uh, Terminator Salvation. Yeah, exactly. And then they, they fight back and forth and ultimately, just Ventura throws Arnold onto this spike wall, but after snapping the lady's neck and throwing her on barbed wall. And she's also fake, though. It's two, it's two stunt people that they, they do kill. Yeah.

They sacrifice these people, but their faces. are made to look like the two main actors. But here's a weird thing about that. Is that like there's a shot where, okay, so a lot of it, the audience is seeing this on a TV. Right. But there's shots in this movie where it looks like they're actually, like it's what was happening. And it's actually Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, it is.

And it's just a little jarring and just a little ridiculous. And it took me out of this movie that I was already out of. I mean, yeah, that's the thing. They go away from, because they've got a filter over it to make it look like a TV broadcast. And you're like, all right, well, that's excessive. acceptable for Arnold to be there. And then, yeah, you're right. It cuts into the arena and it's actually Arnold fighting and it's actually Maria Conchita Alonzo getting her neck broken and all that stuff. And you're like, well, the computer graphics aren't that good. Like the signal's not that HD. They are that good. It's the future, man. I don't know what you guys are thinking. 2019 is going to be. But I am excited. So now the whole thing is the resistance comes back and they're like, well, it's a perfect opportunity. They think you're dead uh well we can have we can be in the movie now again i yeah mick fleetwood comes back and he's

like well you did all the work so now i'm here to help out i guess smoking my big fat cigar and they stage a coup on the compound and they break into the studio and everything and they're like killing all sorts of people and uh richard dawson confronted by arnold and this is a great moment because it's richard dawson and arnold on stage separating them is le fours from Mall rats? Yes, Sven Oli Thorson. Yeah.

Who's actually in tons of Arnold movies. Yeah, I think, is he Austrian? They might be buddies. No, I think he's like a suite or something. Well, they are, yeah, the name, that makes sense. But yeah, I guess, like, they're both bodybuilders, so they might have known each other from the Mussel Beach days. He's actually in,

and there's a scene in Predator where Arnold kicks a door down. He's storming the South American mercenary compound before the Predator shows up. Right. And he throws like a knife at Sven Olie, Thorson. He's like, I think he's definitely killed. Yeah, yeah. So here's the deal.

So, like, Richard Dawson is like, well, how about this, LaFors? What do you have to say to Arnold Schwarzenegger? And, like, you realize, like, it's very obvious that LaFors is going to be like, eh, not for me. This is your problem. But this actor has a line that I'm telling you, I listen to it like five times. I don't know what he says to Richard Dawson. Oh, yeah, I couldn't figure it out.

He says something. It kind of sounds like steroid, something. Oh, what does he say? Sven O'Ethorson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, what happened was earlier in the film, he was yelling at Sven LaForce to get Captain Freedom out of his office, and Sven wasn't going to do it because he, like,

who would go up against Jesse the body? No, you don't tell him what to do. Yeah, you don't tell him what to do. Yeah. So then, like, Richard Dawson's yelling at him more, Moore saying, what? You're deaf from steroids? So that's why when he's telling

him to like fight Arnold, he's like, blah steroids. There you go, I'm deaf from steroids. Okay. All right. I thought I heard steroids in there, but that was all I could get. And I was like, well, I guess I lost that one. You better take steroids because I mean, look what you're going to do with here.

I would love 20 minutes scene of Sven Lee Thoristhen in the bathroom, shooting up steroids, going, Oh, God, I got to do this. I've got to do this. I've got to do this. I've got to fight this guy. I'm going to fight this guy.

Come on, get your stuff together. Siking himself up. So he walks away and Arnold takes Richard Dawson and throws him in one of the egg cages and launches him. At like full speed. Down the tunnel. And flies through the tunnel and you get to see the rubber face. Yeah, he gets a little rubber face because it's going so fast. And then this is fantastic.

The egg shoots out so fast. it goes through a billboard for the show of him of his yeah richard dawson's face smashes through it and explodes because i guess there's just explosives behind i mean there's gas tanks behind every billboard so then what happens is he goes through the thing that explodes and Arnold's like watching it out of monitor and he says well that hit the spot yeah that's what you want to say and so that's it and then what this is a little unearned in my opinion i think but So Maria Conchita Alonzo comes out on stage. She's alive or whatever.

And they like kiss and walk off and like the crowd's going crazy. And I was like, Arnold, she like tried to turn you in four times in this movie. She's literally the reason you're here. Yeah. Why? Would you be afraid if you just broke her neck? I'm a lone wolf. He just walks away.

You know that video had one good idea. And by the way, at this, by this point, they've played the unedited footage of Arnold exonerating him of being the picture of his name is cleared yeah but after this are you kidding me like you're in los angeles you haven't toppled the u.s government quite yet i say missed opportunity for sequel running man two running for office my name is ben richards and i want to reform big reform in sacramento and in in washington because he's because you know Arnold Schwarzenegger can't be president because he's not born in this country right ben richards on the other hand all-american hero oh yeah

all-american ben richards hey by the way this movie ends with a rock and theme song let's hear a little of this no more lonely nights with a restless heart roll a dice Make a brand new start Yes God I love it It's fucking great It is It is a great

God damn end song It's incredible It really gets you pumped up Why would you have that At the end of the movie For the credits Have that at the beginning It's fantastic

Well why not that be Instead of fucking Paula Abdul's gymnastics Routine or whatever the fuck Why not just have that As like the opening credits To The Running Man Whoa how about this running man pre-show entertainment jack mac in the heart attack i could do that

fantastic man emperor reagan got his way yeah listen you want to get that crowd warmed up there's only one man for the job exactly there's a great thing that plays at the end of the credits though that i really loved was uh they sort of take this whole idea of like the hyper reality of the movie to a whole other level here because they're like you know oh if you If you would like to be a contestant on the running man, please send a postcard to, and then they give like an address or whatever. It's kind of just a nice, like I think there's also, it's also closing stuff that you'd hear on old-timey game shows like, you know, transportation provided by guest state and luxurious hotel accommodations.

If you're going to be in the Los Angeles area. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, which is, which was kind of, it's kind of a nice touch. One of those things that I'm like, I'm glad I watched the credits for the running man. That's fantastic. But then you actually send it in and they find you and they kill you. You think anyone in, like, 1987 was just disappeared after mailing in a postcard to the running man? Yes. That would be great.

They take you to Arnold Schwarzenegger's house while he hunts you for support. It's like the most deadly game or whatever. It's like the hotel Reagan in every room is like a saw room. Reagan, you think it's a mask, but it's just Reagan's withered face appears on a screen gun. Well, hey there, fella. Wanna play a game? I'd love Ronald Reagan saw. Holy crap.

That'd be more terrifying than the real saw. Any single one of those saws, it would be better at that. It's jigsaw, motherfucker. I'd love it. It'd be great. Would anybody recommend this movie? A thousand times, yes. This is, without a doubt, the best film to grace this program.

All right. Now, this is the second time we've done. a real like we really enjoyed this movie episode. Eric Siska, I say to you, is the running man better than best of the best too? It's a real pickle. That's a rock and a hard place. Cinema pickle. Andrew Jupin's cinema pickle. Eric Siska, Sophie's choice. I don't, I mean, wow. I know. It's really hard. I'm going to go, I really love this movie, but I'll go best of the best, too. Sorry for that gotcha journalism, but I mean, that's just gotcha journalism. Oh, man.

Now the running man's going to go to the gas chamber. Holy shit. But you know what? No, no, no. It's justified. It's justified. Is it? Yes.

Because whenever anyone makes one of those cutesy Sophie's choice references, that's what the brass taxes is. They don't put an exclamation point on it. Yeah, you're right. And I'm sorry, but you know what? If shirtless Eric Roberts fighting this big old Brackus, versus Arnold Schwarzenegger and the running man. I'm sorry, I guess Arnold

I'll see you later. What about you, Chris? No, not really. I actually think this is one of the lesser Schwarzenegger picks, at least for me. At least, and this is his heyday. This is the same year as

Predator. And like, Predator is such a better movie on every single level you can possibly contemplate. Right. It's certainly, you know, not unwatchable. It's something that if you put it on fucking TBS any time, I wouldn't mind it just being on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's not a particular, like, you have to see it to be a fan of Schwarzenegger, in my opinion, at least. I would totally recommend it. I like this movie. I think it's great. You know, we just made fun of it, but it's still an totally enjoyable movie. So, you

know, if you like it, it's okay to like it. It's fine. It's great. It's a funny premise. It's full of, like, some sci-fi cheese, funny one-liners, but that's kind of what you love about it and and there's like a satire to it that that's up there with almost Robocop with the way it portrays

the future of television. I would say it's a real like Robocop. I mean Robocop's the closer example because Robocop uses television. But also it's kind of on the same track as like a they live thing. Yes. As far as like the future of media and things like that.

And they live is like what put two movies side by side. Fucking they live versus is this. No, I'm not saying anything about quality. I'm just saying that these movies are all dealing with, you know, it's using science fiction to have these kinds of themes and

criticisms playing throughout it. Yeah, no, they live is the best movie out of all that stands down. The best, the best, too, and this can go to the gas chamber. To spare they live. To spare Rowdy, Roddy Piper's life. But also, they live as, you know, it's a, it's a science, they use science fiction to get to

that point. They also use ex-professional wrestlers. Yeah. So it's a very apt analogy, I guess. Also, I want to mention that on the special edition DVD of The Running Man. It's sitting on my coffee table right now. I'm looking at it. There is a doc. I think it's feature-length documentary on there called Lockdown on Main Street.

Now, this is a documentary about the Patriot Act and the aftermath of 9-11. What the fuck is it doing on this DVD? Because that's what I guess they're acting like that. Bush's America parallels the running man very, very well. And I don't know. I turned it on for a few minutes, for like 15, 20 minutes after I watched this movie. And I was like, oh, my God. Terrifying.

It's just talking heads. It's the dullest garbage you could have ever seen. Well, I mean, it's, I don't know. It's directed by Starsky is Starsky. What was Hutch's involvement? I don't know. I think Huggy Bear tried to get like a guest spot in it. And a guest spot by a Huggy Bear?

That'd be great. If I can resurrect a dead segment from this show for a second. WHM off the box, I can read you the description here of this thing. So it says, lockdown on Main Street, documentary about the current state of privacy and criminal issues in a post-9-11 society. Some fucking Edward Snowden shit right there. Yeah. Look at that. This DVD of a movie.

movie that predicts the future also predicts the future. Right. And that DVD was printed in something I called the past. So it really did predict things. It's just, it's all kinds of... That's not recent. No. That's a few years ago. Yeah, that was a while ago.

Hey, 10 years ago, 2003, if that doesn't make you want to fucking hang yourself, that's the running men. It's from 1987, directed by Paul Michael Glazer. Check out our website, of course, WHM Podcast.com. For more information and a list of a back catalog of episodes. We're also on Facebook. You can like our page

there for show updates and whatnot. Follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM podcast right into the mailbag. We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. Subscribe and iTunes. Rate and review the show there. If you do, we'd appreciate it. It would help us out quite a bit. It would be very rad of you. Eric's program, Blame it on Outer Space. The first Wednesday of every month, there is a new conspiracy theory out there being taken down to comedic fashion what is the conspiracy theory for july for july we are talking about the denver international airport which you may not know jessie vinsurer does know is that there's underground facilities under there that may or may not be i mean the list is endless so you'll have to tune in i can't sit here and tell you all the things that are wrong with that

airport but it's a god damn laundry list i'm sorry i took the little Lord's name in vain, but good God, the Denver airport. Yeah, man, I had to lay over there that my flight was delayed, so I hear you, Jesse. Blaming on outerspace.com. They're also on Facebook and on Twitter at BlameSpacePod. They're in iTunes and Stitcher as well. This program's on Stitcher Radio, stream the most recent five episodes of the program on the go. And here's a new thing, by the way, everybody.

We've got an app out. There is an official. we hate movies app that you can get one of two ways first way if you have an android device just go over to amazon search we hate movies the apps there you can download it to your android device uh tablet or uh your smartphone uh stream the show on the go or if you've got an iOS apple iPhone you got to check out an app this is a little complicated so i want to explain to the folks we had some confusion the first week this was launched but what you do is you download a free app called Podcast Box.

And that app is a podcast aggregator that, you know, takes all the, you know, podcast apps that are made through Libson, which is what we, you know, used to host this show. And from there, you search We Hate Movies and you can buy the app that way. So podcast box is free. You download that guy. You pick up the We Hate Movies app. Here's the deal. Bonus content.

We got so many extra shows that are either on there or going to be on there. We got a program called WHM on screen where it's us talking about. Current movies or movies that are related to a particular episode we did on WHM Prime. A lot of topics discussed on that. Side Order of Slees is going to be on there. We're going to do a couple of those. Who not, maybe talking about Lifetime movies finally, get that up and running. And the live shows, that's where the live shows are going to be.

So if you can't make it out to Cliffhanger on July 27th, it'll be there sometime down the road. So pick up the app today. It's only $1.99 more W. content. Yeah, like I said, July 27th, it's a Saturday. We're at the pit 8 p.m. Cliffhanger, the pit dash nyc.com. What a mouthful.

A lot of hawking stuff, but it's good. It's content for people to enjoy. So until next week, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. Thank you.