We Hate Movies - S3: WHM Mailbag: Bad Boyfriends & Belushi Cults

Episode Date: August 8, 2013

On this edition of WHM Mailbag, the gang briefly emerges from vacation to do plugs for a new live show and also reads a couple fan letters - one about a bad, bad boyfriend and another about a women-hating cult! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey, gang, welcome to another edition of WHM Mailbag. I'm Andrew Juppin, alongside Eric Siska and Stephen Sadek. Well, we're on vacation. We are on vacation. But we had to pop on real quick to plug some stuff that's time sensitive. You woke me up? for this. Sorry, dude.

I'm Skyping in from Aruba. Are you? No, I'm not. Because I'm looking at you. Am I in Aruba? I'm living the same boring life I always am. Totally. It's a real staycation we're having around the W.HM offices.

But like I said, we got a couple of time-sensitive things we wanted to put out there to everybody. So first, quick reminder, Thursday, August 15th at 9.30 at the pit main stage, we are no longer in the basement. It's like our parents died and left us the house. And we're no longer creeping around the basement. And we're throwing a party, guys, and you're invited. It costs $8 to get in, and we're talking about red heat. Finally, a live episode with Jim Belushi front and center. And Arnold Schwarzenegger. He will

also be in attendance in impression form only. It's almost like a weird mashup. I know it's a movie that has existed for as long as I've been alive. It feels like it should. though. Yeah, exactly. It feels like a fake movie. It does feel like a fake movie. So yes, 9.30 p.m. 8 dollars. The pit dash nyc.com for ticket information. Get your tickets in advance. Bring your friends. Grab a beer. It's going to be a really great time. You know, our live episodes have been going great. We just locked in a bunch of gigs at the pit that we're going to be spouting out over the next couple months. And we want you to be a part of our first main stage event. So that is this Thursday, August 15th, 930.

p.m. 8 bucks. The pit nyc.com. We are making fun of red heat. And speaking of fake movies, we made a real movie. It's called We Are Strangers, Andrew Dye, and Private Cabin. We made a little flick. It's fun. It's

on Indiegogo. Right now you can check out We are Facebook slash we are. Facebook.com. Good Lord. Yes, Eric, please. Slash We Are Strangers movie. There you go. That's got all the information about the film.

It's also we are strangers movie.com if you want to check out stuff there. Either way, it's going to direct you, the Facebook will direct you to the Indiegogo, which is what we're plug in. It's a good cause. We're trying to get an independent movie out there, which is very difficult to do.

And I think you owe us to be quite annoyed. Whatever you can give. Shackles, not heckles. So we got the campaign going for finishing funds for the film and festival submissions and all that good stuff. so if you want to take a look if you're interested go check out the Facebook page it's facebook.com slash we are strangers

movie the trailers there some film stills set stills information about the indiegogo can be found there also we need your help so if you're interested take a look okay shilling out of the way we're here to read a couple of things and make fun of them or just be entertained by them

now it's heckles not shekels we've turned the tables so we've got we've got a comment from one of our web posts which you know I'll say this about the message boards on our website. Not a lot of activity. We mainly deal with talking to people through social media, which is totally fine. We love talking to people on Twitter

and everything. It's mostly complaints on the blog spot. It's like, I don't get it. Not even I don't get it. Like, this isn't working right. How is this a show? But every once in a while, we get... Where am I? Every once in a while, we get some comments that are really worthwhile. So this is one from the episode we did on the mating habits

of the earthbound human, which is one of the worst episodes, or worst movies that we've ever made an episode out of, I will say that. So, Eric, if there was a comment left there, let's get into it. You can tell it's good because it was posted to the dead of night. The timestamp of 1.25 a.m. Perfect.

Someone by the, using the username, Cameo, said, Camio, word up. Sorry. I once dated a complete sociopath. Nice. He pretended to have cancer so I wouldn't break up with him. Oh, no. This is his favorite movie in the world.

Wow, that makes complete sense. At one point, he made me watch it, and then when I didn't laugh at the quote-unquote jokes, he would rewind it to make sure that I saw it and I got it. You're going to laugh this time. I got cancer. You better find this funny. That's the kind of person that laughs hysterically at this movie. I'm so sorry that you guys had to watch this, but at the same time, it's fucking awesome that more people know about how utterly awful it is now.

Worst movie ever. Good work, guys. I would say I feel sorry for you having to watch that. Yeah, I'm sorry, Cameo. Those are not ideal movie watching conditions. I mean, we suffered through that movie. Could you imagine if some guy was there rewinding it? You didn't get that? Huh? Huh? Wait, you see, the sperm hit the wall. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't pregnant her. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it was a Terminator parody. Get it?

Do you get it? It was a blow job, so they don't know where to go. There's no egg in your mouth. And I have cancer. God damn it. You should find that funny. What? Faking cancer. That's like almost a Steve Sadek move, but I don't have the guts for it. That's like ultra Steve.

Like if someone built a robot of you that took like your craziest worst qualities and amped them up by 10,000 degrees, you would fake cancer to not get dumped. It's like a super Kastanza. He or she may live in the, it's always setting in Philadelphia universe. Really? Is he or she a big poyle? Well, you know, they're saying they're saying they were involved in it with a sociopath that said they faked cancer. Yeah, that's true. That is a, that's a sunny move.

How do you figure that out? I mean, like, that's a great card to play. Like you, maybe you're living with somebody and like it's been a real couple of months of fake cancer. Yeah. And somehow you find that out. I am skipping home. And I'm not just coming in yelling. I am just playing it cool for a while.

just like you got cancer right you want to lift that for you you want to lift that for you you want to lift that right you got to let it dangle a little bit i feel just like put it out in front of them that you might know something but don't confirm it or deny it just let him think you might know something oh so you're thrown in my face that it went into remission yeah also i feel like oh i'm sorry that i'm going to live yeah you definitely have to specify what the fake cancer is by the way the i have cancer well what kind of cancer Body cancer Human body cancer Ew, that's the worst I have soul cancer I told you I had cancer I didn't tell you what kind Turns out it's the fake kind

I have all the cancers Yeah, just everything the one at once You name a cancer I got it What a fucking prick Unbelievable well cameo I hope you're not with that person anymore it sounds like you're not so this just turned into love line i hope you you gotta dump that prick

something something about mexicans adam carola well he's made a career off of hatred huh well we're trying to do because this is we hate movies all right so uh let's let's go on and we got an email because this is a mailbag show we all hate movies at gmail dot com this is a letter from christopher he writes in and says howdy w hm folks i recently found your podcast and i'm enjoying the whole catalogue of film hatred. Well, see, there you go. People love hate every once in a while. Anyways, he says,

I'm writing because I just finished your Mr. Destiny podcast, and I want you to know it touched me in a bad place. Wait, what? First, my father turned 34 the year that movie came out, and every year on his birthday, we'd all have to sit in the living room and watch it with him. That continued for five long years until I left for college. So it could be happening still.

Oh, yeah, he's just not at home to sit through it. You think he left behind like a little brother? I was just like, sorry, Jimmy. He's trapped in the nexus. Anyway, the Jim Belushi hatred runs deeper than that. Seven years ago, my wife and I moved to an apartment in Oakland, California. The neighborhood was nice except for this one shitty craftsman house across the street. There were always dudes dressed like bikers standing around the yard drinking beer and smoking.

I thought it might be a gay bear's club. it's always a possibility you never know when a Bears club is going to surface you don't know they could be anywhere over the first two years we got sick of this strange brood they'd come out and glare at people in the neighborhood park on the sidewalk

leave bottles under cars etc you know what that's not bears bears are much more polite than that absolutely finally we'd had enough of these creeps and we looked them up by address turns out it was the Sterling Institute of Relationship not relationships plural it turns out

that the whole thing was a misogynous men's cult focused on breaking down the feminine corruption in men. These guys would be assigned tasks like drawing a picture of their ideal sexual partner and then they'd sketch their own dicks. Seriously. Other times, women would come in and berate new recruits while filming them.

The newbies couldn't leave the room until someone finally cracked and lashed out at the women. So our old friend Jim Balushi has been a member of this delightful organization. he enjoyed its teachings a lot so much so that he wrote a book about what he learned that book is the one you referenced on the podcast just thought i'd share love the show chris is it like a misogynistic basins is that what's going on yeah they got all sorts of great parking spaces and they hate women that's creepy it's really creepy because you know that shit's going deeper than just leaving beer bottles under cars you know the thing is like you know misogyny's bad enough but ritualistic yeah like what is that you're putting a cloak on and like kicking some girl in the teeth well how do you get the women for the the rituals by the way they must have been broken years ago yeah they're told when to show up and they're told how to vote

what now all right so this is it's an oakland california men's club what kind of annual dues you think we're talking about here every year jim bellushi fights him I'm giving you all sorts of free publicity. Now I've got to pay dues. No, no. I'll just fight you instead. Here's the thing is like, because it's Jim Volusian, he's a celebrated famous member. You've got to take a dive.

Like, you got to let him beat you up. Oh, absolutely. That's what we're talking about here. That's bizarre. It's really bizarre. It means, like, are there sacrifices, do you think? There might be some sacrifices. Probably like you burn.

Carol's meatloaf. Oh, sacrifice. I'm gonna burn all these Bet Midler DVDs etc. Just a bunch of bad jokes. Do you think you have to get a tattoo of Jim Belushi like on your back? Now that's the thing that

he was just a member. He's not the leader. He's just a follower. The grid pooh-bye? But that's how Hitler started. So you think in like another five years he's going to rise to some crazy misogynist power? Yeah. All right. I heard he was playing some shitty

comedy club in Chicago recently though. So maybe he's actually like on a downturn Sweet home Chicago God damn it If you're a woman You should go and boo at him That'd be fun They'll punch you right in the face

Probably And then tell his buddies about it in Oakland So that's it That's a little bit of mailbag stuff We wanted to read to This was mainly an excuse To get a plug out there But hey we're on vacation

We wanted to give you a little something Anyway though There's extra episodes coming out Some commentary some cool stuff yeah check out the app you know that we've got this app going on there are live episodes up there or shortly will be and um more stuff will keep on coming live episodes w hm on screen i promise we're going to get some side order of slees going on there eventually a lot of good stuff and also you know if you're jones and for some w hm style uh comedy and we're not around this

month eric's got to blame it on outer space episode out yep that's on the Black Eyed Kids. You can find it at Blame It on Outerspace.com or in iTunes under Blame It on Outer Space. It's also on Stitcher. If you listen to We Hate Movies on Stitcher, same type of deal. And you just introduce your new permanent co-host, Ben Worcester. That's right. Very exciting stuff in the world of conspiracy. Yeah, man. You're going to the moon. We are, man. Every episode. You're going to take you right to the moon, Alice, you fucking bitch.

Well, I have a podcast out on Black Eyed Women. I filmed it in Oakland On that note We're back to vacation So we'll see you in September Until then I'm Andrew Jopin Steven Siddharicke

Take it easy Chicago Chicago