We Hate Movies - S4: Animation Damnation #1 - He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Speical

Episode Date: December 10, 2013

On the pilot episode of ANIMATION DAMNATION, the gang launches straight into hell with He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special! How many action figure advertisements can you squeeze into one hour-long special? Why does Skeletor need to understand the meaning of Christmas? And most importantly, what the hell's going on in this cartoon? Plus: Never steal the last energy drink from your redneck dad. He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special is voiced by John Erwin, Alan Oppenheimer, Melendy Britt and George DiCenzo; directed by Bill Reed & Ernie Schmidt. If you want to hear more episodes of Animation Damnation as they're released, be sure pick up our app or bookmark our bandcamp page! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, everyone, and welcome to animation damnation. I'm Andrew Jupin, alongside all three of my compatriots, Stephen Seda, Christopher Cabin, and Eric Siska for the pilot episode, the launch of this new side show where, well, Steve, it was your idea. So I'll let you explain the conceit of animation damnation. Well, you know, Netflix puts on a lot of cartoons and I'm a man with a whole lot of time on my hands.

And I'll be like, oh, cool, I totally remember watching this. And I'll watch it. And then as it's happening, I just get more and more embarrassed in my own home. And I go, oh, no, this was a mistake. So in that, vain we like to watch things make fun of them we'll watch things make fun of them and find out is this embarrassing is it weird to be watched i mean look everyone's a fan of something really weird

to be watching this everyone's of no it's not caveat so all the he man fans don't yell at me i'm into a lot of boring nerdy garbage that you could make fun of me about it's all everyone's got their nerd kinks and that's fine you know what there's rich tapestry yeah yeah there's all sorts of weird corners of this you know pop culture universe and I'm of the camp that He-Man is fucking stupid and terrible I just

think so and I it's fine to love it I don't care I just don't get it so we're here today to talk about the he-man-she-Rah Christmas special it's around the holidays so we wanted to launch with a Christmas themed thing and I'll start off by saying uh what

that's my reaction to this 44 minutes special uh what it's like as if you had to know it like okay let's say you rewatch nashville and you're rewatching nashville and you are asked to remember the name of every character of every person that's on screen in that movie and that's somewhere about where you're at with this thing there's so many little robots and gizmos and do dad characters everyone's trying to get in a happy meal set well that's what's interesting about this is Because most of it, it's like medieval-ish, you know, like your fantasy, right? You know, a He-Man sort of like fantasy, but then it's like,

and here's some whack-a-doodle robots thrown in. And it's just like, who's building them? Get away for the ninjas to show up. You know what? No, absolutely. And pirates? Space pirates? Where were the space pirates?

Yeah, they're probably in He-Man. I'm of the camp of not that I hate it and think it's stupid. I just don't care. I guess I was being a little crass. I mean, I don't hate it. I don't know enough about it to hate it. I just hate strong words. You can't hate something you don't give a shit about.

Yes, that's, you know what, Chris Cabin, always the way with words. I just don't give a shit about E-Man. Well, how could you possibly? I don't know. I mean, here's the thing. And, you know, the episode that, you know, we're also recording tonight is the episode we did on Ghostbusters 2, which that's a big nostalgia buster, right? And that was me coming to grips with a whole lot of personal demons. with that movie right but that's kind of what this is it's if you don't latch on to it with

every fiber of your being when you're a little kid in 1982 you can't give a flying fuck about he-man and shirah when you're 30 years old and i think that's the thing is we're all a little too young for he-man just a just a hair just a hair just missed it just missed that he-man train like that was close like yeah you could talk to me about ninja turtles and how fucking terrible that is, and you're right. You're 100% correct. Come up to me in my face and make fun of planet Earth. You can do it. Not Planet Earth. Captain Planet.

You know what? We're on. That beautiful series of nature documentaries is bullshit. And you're wasted your time. You and fucking Richard Attenborough. You fucking loser. I'm going on at it from a different angle. You know, nice ozone layer.

Piece of shit, Earth. So the plot of the Keman's Chirah Christmas special is try to fucking dissect this one, Sade Egg. Real quickly, Skeletor learns the meaning of Christmas. If you really want to know, that's the meat and potatoes of it. That's

what you want to see. And his heart grew 10 sizes. I wish it was just a takeoff on the Gritch who stole Christmas, like beat for beat. The Skeletor who stole kids. But that's like summing up like a Bolano book and saying somebody got

hurt. Yes. It's a really Baroque plot. There's ins and outs and ups and downs. So many twists, turns. There's so many, there's literally 30 speaking characters in this thing. And I, I was texting most of you guys while I was watching this last night. And I was just saying, I can't follow this. I was completely sober.

Stone cold sober for the first 20 minutes of it. Mistake number one. But I was like, listen, I don't know anything about this. I have to talk on it a little bit. Better just go in clean so I can figure it out. And I was like, well, this is just a lost cause. Well, that was your mistake. because you have to meet it face to face

and nobody was sober who was writing or directing this thing. Well, I'm sorry, Chris, but I was plumb out of LSD when I turned this on YouTube. So Orko decides to fuck around in He-Man's spaceship, right? So Orko is what? He's a ghost with a pizza hat on. I don't even know.

Oh, like, what is a pizza hat? It looks like a, I don't know, it looked like a slice of pizza. It's slightly triangular. I guess it's like a wizard cap, maybe. He's kind of like the shadows mentally disabled biggest fan Because he looks like the shadow garb He's got the scarf cover in his face He's got the hat

Yeah he's dressed to impress When the shadow came out He was in line The only one Yeah Like so you really don't have to wait in line It's just the shadow like they'll be coming soon He's at the radio station

This movie is gonna be a big hit Boy will your face is be read. So he's a mischievous comic relief. He's your snarf if you're into the Thundercats. By the way, Thundercats over he man fucking 112% any goddamn day of the week

because they're cats and made out of thunder, right? You know, it's funny that I have to be like, yeah, that world is more grounded. At the very least. Oh, watching the Thundercat, any episode of the Thundercats, you might as well be watching

like masterpiece theater compared to What is going on in this universe? Downton Thundercat. I'd love to see it. It'll be Downton Thundaria, I believe. What? That's where they live. Thundaria.

Oh, Thundaria. Oh, yes. I was like, I was like, how is that an abbey? Didn't follow you there. All right, so the plot of this, continue. Orko gets in fucking He-Man spaceship and assholes his way to Earth by accident and hangs out

with two kids, learns what Christmas is. They're like, well, that fucking idiot got into the gut into the, got into the tree again let's bring them back they accidentally bring these kids back and also bring back the spirit of christmas and also bring about an amber alert absolutely correct i don't think they have any of those flashing road signs on he men's planet eternity on earth anyway yeah no yeah exactly well the parents they were taken from earth they were taken from earth but also this little creature what's his name? Orko. Orko, right?

He comes in here from this other dimension, right? And he alters this timeline because he comes in and he's like, wow, a crash landing. And these kids are playing and they've just like cut down their own Christmas tree because it's a real latchkey kid situation. And this avalanche is coming.

And Orko is like, oh, no, I'll save you. Those children were slated to die. And this dude takes them out. And now the timeline's all fucked up. Well, this just dawned on me. The other side of this, if we stay on Earth, the plot of the movie that's on Earth is prisoners.

It is prisoners. You're right. Hugh Jackman is beaten a mentally challenged kid against a fucking sink in a derelict bathroom. I need to watch that now. Paul Dano would make a great orco, I think, actually. He-Man casting, 2015 He-Man movie. Dude, Paul Dano gets his ass kicked in that movie.

So, wait, does that... So Melissa Leo is Hordeck then? Melissa Leo, I think, would be Hordeck in that situation. Spoiler alert, kind of. Backdoor spoiler alert. So he kidnaps these kids accidentally. It's actually He-Men's fucking fault. Yeah, he's just laser in things.

That guy who looks like a G.I. Joe Michael Jeter, whatever that guy's name is, there's just a ginger with a mustache. Man at Arms. Oh, man at arms is it? See, this is, I just have no idea what's happening. He's the one who's like, all right, now we get this machine going and we're going to teleport our trouble-making friends. back he unknowingly takes the children so it's not orco's fault it's michael cheater's fault and that's it and that you know hort prime i guess this is something from the later episodes or something where skeletor has a boss which i'm not crazy about who knew skeletor i mean i guess you

know what everybody's got someone they have to report to right isn't that just always how it goes even fucking skeletor yeah i mean i just took it as crang who's crank that this thing behind the far because you don't read her you mean that yeah that cring in the big baby suit what other crang would i be talking about i think there's paulk the one crang paul crank and accounts well this is how it all goes it goes and the crang is right because the like it's darth vader you know yeah that's skeletor and then the emperor and that's this mystical furnace that he speaks to and it's the same Furness in Home Alone, like the furnace that yells at McCulley Culligan. Hey, by the way, speaking of one and only crang, I just totally remembered on that new Ninja Turtles cartoon that's on Nickelodeon, the crang is actually an alien race.

And the queen crang was voiced by none other than comedy sensation and nut magnate Roseanne Barr. Wow. Wait, wait, wait, what? Yeah, dude. So there's like, there's a bunch of crangs, and then there's like the all-omipotent crank queen, and it's Roseanne. And are they interdimensional aliens? Because that's a thing now. What?

The turtles? Oh. No, the cranks. And that could still, if you want to retrofit this to fit the original timeline of Ninja Turtles, dimension X might be where that home planet is. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. That just makes me think of the villain from Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.

like the B woman, the woman who had the weird suit. Rita. Was that Rita? Rita, something or other. Rita Rudner? Yeah, it's Rita Rudner. No, but I think the turtles are like, you're like, oh, cowabunga crank, we're going to take you out. And then, like, you hear this voice and it just goes, it's really weird.

And he's playing cards with his family. It's bizarre. Yeah, and someone's sitting at home right now, like, they had a fucking problem with he, man. Which is fine. But so there's something with the magic diamond that Shiraz got to procure for something? Oh, man. This is back to her pilot central. So she goes to this fucking area.

And then the monsteroids show up. Say again. The monsterids show up. Who I guess are enemies of the mansions. Now, holy God. We should explain what that gobbly gook is. You hear, you don't know. Now, these are like, these are robots.

The monsters are the mansions. Oh, God. Are they both robots? They're both robots It's both robot And one of them Are like giant And eval

They're like They're like Those things in X-Men The Sentinels Yeah they're like Sentinels kind of But they're like Sylons

Like they got like They look like silence But the size of a sentinel Then these other little motherfuckers They're like robot Shaped my little ponies It's all terrible Are those the men

The mansheens are the little ones Those are the man Well they're kind of like Mega Man Right Yeah, they look like little Mega Man people. Well, they're like the little things that like Mega Man would step on to like go up into the air is what these things are. Collateral damage.

Dr. Wiley's collateral damage. Dr. Wiley's collateral damage. Dr. Wiley's failed experiments. Oh, no. What a mistake they are. Can't hold me. Well, they actually, they kind of all have different traits like Mega Man villains. There's like Sawman, Woodman, Woodman, Hammer Man. There's like cutter and zipper and other things. And here, you doing that impression brings to mind a question I had.

What is with the D-Team voice acting in this thing? Everyone's either like this or a little like this. Like, it's all just two voices. And they're all way too high-pitched for monsters fighting each other. Except for the ones that actually clearly get like modified. Well, those you can't even understand because they're like, all right, we got six dudes here. you know they can only do like three voices between them better you know scream ghost face that thing hello shira i'm zipper because i'm zippy yeah that just doesn't even fucking make sense

zipper i mean it's all this insane plot that gets these kids get kidnapped by skeletor right because he's like it's basically skeletor and his like cousin hordeck which is Just like you have Skeletor, which is like putting fear into the hearts of everyone who hears it. And then Hardak, he's a sweat hog. That's just terrible writing. Well, now he is Shira's villain, right? Yeah, he's her number one. Did they have their own shows?

And then this was like a team up for the holidays? Yeah, this is the Jetsets to meet the Flintstone. I believe it's like, let's, oh, we have, we have He-Man. It's a hit for boys. Let's make Shira for girls, I imagine. yeah exactly and like you know the shira toys were a little more like barbie as i imagine this is much more of a shira joint it seems to me he man really isn't doing much well i think he man's only buddy is fucking pilot michael jeter there well he's also dressed up in a fucking

uh uh rebel alliance ex-wing fighter pilot outfit he kind of is yeah he looks like fucking borkans but but see he man i think was just hired to put asses and seats he's gonna be on he's going to be billed first he can just hang back smoke a cigarette on set hang up by craft services so he's kind of like marlin brando in the first superman movie like he got paid a million dollars for or he's like marlin brando and uh what score yeah the score where they just went to marlin brando's sauna so he didn't have to leave the house man that might be a stay tuned somebody overshot that prestige note that they were looking for yeah they thought marlin brando was going to bring prestige to that.

No, it's just Edward Norton pretending to be retarded again. That's all that movie is. Well, it has a lot in common with the He-Man Shira Christmas special. It does. So the diamond is procured. A bunch of robots are, these children

change kidnapper hands a whole lot of times. There's a lot of dialogue like, now it's my turn with the children. I'm like, what are you doing? The kids are the McGuffin of the thing. Like, who's got the kids right now. It doesn't matter because we're so fascinated with all these

other machine monsters. And if this was real, these kids, right, they'd be pissing their pants going white as a sheet dying inside, being forever changed and ruined. Like, you see a giant muscular man with a skull for a head barking orders at you. Then you see a

goddamn 50 foot robot with like I don't know what, you know, like machine guns and laser wips. And then you've got a horse that turns into a Pegasus the talks. Why is that horse talking? He doesn't provide any information I need and why does he

sound like he's had chewing tobacco in his mouth since he was a fucking pony. What's also weird is he's the strong but silent type because he breaks it out almost halfway through, not halfway through, but it's a while I'm like, oh, that's a horse and it's drawn like a horse.

I don't expect a human mouth on it. No, and that's, I was watching this and, you know, I tried to drop a hint about what we were doing here today and I said out loud to myself what the horse talks now and I fucking tweeted that to see if anyone would get it

but like why are you making the horse talk? Maybe the horse talked on the show but if that's the case that horse to shut up well that horse needs to gallop into frame flapping his horse goes well that's what happens because they wanted to make the Christmas toy where you press the button

and the horse talks to you and says one of five special phrases. You're my friend. Look out. Marble red please. Didn't I ask for medium rare? What do you mean ID? A fucking horse. I can live for fucking 50

years. So these kids change hands. Oh, they also explain, I guess the Christmas part of all this is they're kidnapped around Christmas and they're bummed because they're not going to celebrate Christmas. So there's this other lady who's like a queen or something.

She's fucking he-man supervisor. His mother. She's Prince Adam. She's Princess Shittara. Well, wouldn't that be queen? Yeah, she's queen, whatever. Queen something. Okay.

Well, so then these kids are like, we're not going to be home for Christmas, are we? And she's like, ma, I don't think so. Better get comfortable here. Yeah, totally. Hope you like monsters. And mermaids and robots. Oh, yeah, there's mermaids in this. There's a mermaid.

A beast monster. An actual, it's called a beast monster. Yeah, a real fucking creative name there, writing staff. Ralph Stedman's owl. Like, this thing is like just, it's Shira's a little sidekick there. He's pink. He's got crazy. I don't even know what.

It looks like an owl with, like, elephant ears. It's something out of Dumbo's nightmares. It's all Dumbo's nightmares. And I mean, this is like a prime example of a Christmas special gone wrong. Like, not everybody needs to celebrate Christmas, all right? Because aliens that live on planet. eternity can go without experiencing the magic of Christmas. And at least the Star Wars Christmas special

is, even though it's called that, is about Life Day. Right, yeah. We're doing Christmas, but we're not calling it Christmas. That's the other thing. These little weird kids, Miguel and what's the other one? And the Galicia? They are like, the little alien thing is like, what's Christmas? Tell me. And they're like, well, it all started many years ago. And then it's like cut, cut back. And then the three wise men got to Bethlehem and I'm like, oh, you're doing the Christian route, okay. He took to

Christ right out of Christmas though. Yeah. Cut to He-Man jerking off for two seconds. Then we go back and then he's like, so that's why Santa comes down your chimney every year. And I was like, how the fuck did you make that jump, kid? You're clearly confusing this alien who knows nothing about Christmas. This is X

mass, which I do not appreciate. I will go to my grave without letting an alien experience my holiday. well i mean under all the convoluted plot the worst part of this is the the part after all this happens where he's like hey kids not everybody celebrates christmas but come on everybody fucking celebrates christmas come on let's all be fucking don't shit a shitter okay it's the after thing it's just he man hanging out in the library and he's like look what you just

the events you just saw all names were changed it's like drag net Except for Skeletor. He was a real guy. Skeletor is in a lineup somewhere. He waited to witness protection. Skeletor vanished off the face of the earth, July 17, 1965. Hordak was arrested in a prostitution sting. Not six years later. It was revealed that Heman's true identity was that of Prince Adam.

He was jailed on identity fraud and did a maximum sentence of 26 years. Big question of the room. Why does He-Man need a guy? goddamn secret identity. Like, why? Who is he? Does he work in a newspaper somewhere? What's the problem?

And he's royalty. I mean, he's got a castle with presumably goons about to help his royal family maintain that power, so he doesn't need a secret identity. And let's not forget when he turns into He-Man, he's around everybody. It's not like he's running to the bathroom and then He-Man comes out like, hey, where's Prince Adams? No, and he just gets less clothed. Like, at least Superman.

He's like, are, let me put on this different outfit. Adam's like, let me get naked and solve this problem. And it's also like a, I'm Prince Adam and I'm He-Man. Like, all you did was fucking take off your poncho. Yeah, I like the idea that he's just like, yeah, He-Man, that's the thing I do sometimes. That's what it is. Oh, look, Adam's doing He-Man again. You know, because I'm a man, but I'm also he because I'm a strong man.

Hey, is everybody looking? Is everybody looking? I have it. Hey, is everybody looking? I have the... Reggie, Reggie, you look in? Shira, same thing. She's like, Princess something or other.

She turns into Shira. And everyone's like, where did Princess so and so go? I don't know, Shira. You look a lot like her. And this fucking horse is wearing a mask. Well, the horse is like the fucking... He's clearly the green hornet of this franchise. The horse grows his Pegasus's wings and gets his unicorn horn.

as he transforms. So he's just a work a day racing horse? I guess. Or he's a castle horse. Oh, he's a breeding horse. I really do imagine that transformation is as painful as an American Warwolf in London.

The horn coming out of the head wings just sprout out this thing's back. Yeah, those appear the first time, but they got to go back into your body. It's like in the X-Vet, it's like, did that hurt every time? you know that David Cronenberg should have directed masters of the universe he still can

why not we got Paul Dano we're already we're in talks with Paul Dano for the role of the role of orco no who is the master of the universe by the way because it's the thing is he man and the masters of the universe I think the ideas we're all vying for that role man we all are trying to step on each other's throats to get to the top yeah once he snaps Skeletor's neck He becomes the master I see It's also kind of like Game of Thrones

They all got families Oh into the houses And he man and Shira Definitely want to fuck each other Like there's just this thing We're bred the right way And like I appreciate your breeding And you have the only

You're the only one with the right body for me Kind of a thing Honestly did you look at those cartoons man Yeah They're gorgeous They are gorgeous But they're yeah They definitely

They're going at it like They're Lannister twins well because it's always like you did a good job brother you did a good job sister and like it's just maybe they're riding on that masked horse and he starts fingering

her like that like what's his face yeah gray joy good old theon gray joy he's one of the only characters who's name I know on that show it's like Game of Thrones is like he man speaking of shows

Andrew can't follow because he doesn't have the fucking glossary in front of him And speaking of HBO up in the sex factor, that part doesn't actually happen in the book. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, it's just, they added it? They added it.

The sister fingering? Yeah. Oh, what about the penis lopping off? Oh, I'm not there yet. Oh, I'll keep your post it. Spoiler alert. Yeah, let me know the second you get to it. I will.

I'll text you immediately. Day or night, Eric. I'll send you a picture of the page. 4 a.m. Christmas morning. It's just a page of words. Oh, those are hot ones. words, oh yeah, the dick stayed on. It's just, it's just a part

that's highlighted, it says, lopped off. So, you know, George R.R. Martin might do that. He might do it. He could do that one. He might just write a big old lop. So, Skeletor's got the hot potato of the kids and he goes down like the diner party

into the mountains and it's like, well, it's going to be a long winter children. And he start, just by being around them, he starts being imbued with the spirit of Christmas. Yep. And it's becoming less and less skeletor like because he doesn't kill a dog.

This is my favorite part of it. They're like, oh, we're so cold. And he's like, I don't care. And they're like, all right, well. I have no flesh on my face. God damn it. You think it's cold? I don't know what heat is.

So he's like, you know, listen, we got to walk to wherever. Who cares? We got to walk to the base of some fucking mountain. Probably to throw a ring in a volcano. Management wants to see us. We have to get. to Damascus.

That's where the Black Lodge is, right? How much bullshit fantasy can be in this thing? So they're like, all right, we're cold, but I guess we'll go. Also, here's this space dog that we're going to leave behind. And Skeletor clearly has no problem with leaving

this dog for dead. It's hilarious. They're like, come on, Skeletor, he'll freeze. So what? Do you know what cold inside your eye sockets is? didn't think so when fat men's knees ache from the cold

that's my every day it's brutal out there he's also just like we're going and he's just like it's like an indignant parent or something like nope we're going leave it don't leave it

don't pick it up pick it up man I would love to see Skeletor just like upset at the mall Christmas shopping kids. No, we are not going to KB toys again. You drop it. It's garbage now. Don't eat that. Do not eat that dog. Where is your sister? I told you both to stay right here. Okay. You can look at the games and game stop, but we're not buying anything.

Do you want to waste time looking because that's all you'll be doing? Get out of the food court. You'll have lunch at home. Personal tangent, walking out of New York Comic-Con this year. Uh-huh. Speaking of he, man. This, it's this guy who's like 40 years old and wearing this shirt that says like, I kill zombies or whatever. Yep.

Screaming at this 12-year-old boy like, well, why'd you do it? God damn it. Why'd you do it? Why are you so selfish? And this 13-year-old girl is like, dad, relax. We'll just get another rock star. He's like, no, he drank my rock star. Are you making this up?

I'm not making this up. This guy was ready to fucking rumble about this rock star energy drink. And he's just like, you drink my rockstock, God damn it. And that was the last one, and now he's going to be up all night. He added the now he's going to be up all night to, like, put a health element in it. But he was really more upset about his rock star energy drink being gone. All that's left in this foldable igloo cooler is a fucking monster. No one likes monster energy drinks.

God damn it! You know your father hates that shit. I can't drink artificial apple flavor. And they say, well, that's it. You just drank your toy. You just drank your toy because you're not getting a toy now because you drink the rock star. Oh, my God. He said that.

He did say that. What, really? The toy part two? He did. You drank your toy. This dude. This dude is father of the year. Oh, can we just, can we do like just people Steve C on the street as a side show?

The life and times You just drank your toy Well, that's it That's it boys and girls No, I get the shirt that says I kill zombies You wear your corner eye pull-ups Well, that's it

No one's seeing Neil Adams today Put your trading cards back You won't be going for any of them You're not exchanging shit I mean and that's kind of I don't know Like you get you know They do celebrate Christmas

they make a creepy Christmas song? Let's hear the creepy Christmas song. Love and caring, peaceful bliss, joys of sharing, happiness. Christmas spirits in the air eternity and everywhere. Don't you feel it, feel that you're apart. Christmas season is a time of your heart. Oh, that is just a clear-cut case of we don't want to pay for a Christmas song. So here's a fucking bullshit one that nobody cares about that we just wrote.

By the way, the instrumentals are done by a creepy guy with a mustache with a lute that they found in the woods. Yep, they sure did. They just found him in the woods. I think he's a wizard or something. Some other, like, pixie dream girls in the woods, too. The dude with a mustache is Shira's, like, quote-unquote, boyfriend, but I think it's just to keep everything on the reg so nobody gets mad that she's fucking he-man.

Because, like, if the tabloids found out, she's got to have a fake boyfriend. This is my friend, Dennis. He's got, like, an attorney a mandolin with them everywhere he goes. That's the loot. That's a loot. Yeah, that's a looting. Oh, well, you know, loot mandolin, what the hell's the difference?

There isn't much. They actually, there's no real confrontation with Skeletor. They fight these monster things and the little Mega Man robots like do stuff and nobody cares. And then He-Man and Shira see Skeletor with the kids and he's like, Oh, Skeletor, you're no challenge for me. Give me those children. It's my turn with them. And he's like, oh, for crying out loud, E-Man.

Oh, it's all over you. Stay still. Stay still. Stop, stop. It's not. You're not, let me get it. Well, because he left all his minions for dead. Every last one of them.

He threw him out of a plane. And Hordak has a bunch of them. Well, where the fuck does Hordak go in all this? He's all in Ethereum, which is where Shira lives. So he's thwarted? Yeah, I don't know what the fuck happens. It seems like everyone's chasing each other. It's like, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, ethria.

And it's like, you know, some people are just, you know, driving around. I think the mansheen. destroy the monsteroids and Hordeck is destroyed by Shira and Heemann. Oh, I see. I think it's out of You realize we're all 30 years old, right? You're aware of that one.

This is officially the most confusing cartoon I've ever seen in my life. It's really I could watch a fucking Haya Miyazaki movie with the subtitles off and I'll be able to follow it better than this fucking nonsense. This supposed English language cartoon that I watched. Also, you would want to watch it because it looks nice.

And not dead eyes away. world. Whoa, whoa, whoa, this looks beautiful. I am a sucker for this kind of like 80s shitty animation. You know, I just cause it's not good. It's clearly not good, but, you know, minimal animation where you just move

like one arm when you have to kind of a thing. Yeah, I mean, this is all just Scooby-Doo animation. You know, they look like Scooby-Doo. They look like G.I. Joe. Scooby-Doo with pecks. Oh, there's so much muscle in this. They're all handsome. I mean, the Skeletor's ripped. He's really ripped for a skeleton.

If you cut his chest open, what's in there? Hot air. Organs. Rockstar energy drink. Nothing but rock star energy drink. Well, because he always reminded me of more like a Rasputin type villain. He never like, like a cast spells and fucking, you know, they shot me six times and drowned me in a lake, but I'm still here.

Feeding bad news to the Zah. Oh, Skil Tours. Superbar is getting his ass handed to him. Come here, Anastasia. I'm something to show you in the basement. You know, I think that skeleton-faced advisor might be evil. He might be up to no good. Plus his name's Skeletor.

That's very evil-sounding. So the question remains. We'll go around the horn. Were you embarrassed watching this? You were going to start with me? I'll start with you. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm entirely embarrassed.

I had to type, like, I have one of those, like, slow TV things. So I had to type in the entire name of this title into my YouTube thing. Oh, one of those deals. It was really slow. And, like, man, I'm never getting that back. Yeah, that's like five minutes. And the 44 minutes of this. Oh, man, is there an egg on your face?

It is. It's a justified episode I could have watched. And instead, it's this, Eric. I'm not embarrassed at all because I believe in freedom. And I'm a better person for having watched this. There you go. I'm not embarrassed. I'm still just too confused to be embarrassed.

I think if I ever work out what the plot of this is, I'll be mortified. It's about what? I'm not embarrassed. I just, I still, you know what? Shockingly, the he-man-she-Raw-Christmas. special did not turn the tide for me in He-Man, I still don't give a shit about He-Man. Not embarrassed, though.

All right. Yeah, I wasn't. I've seen worse. It's kind of a weird... I think it's a good enough representation of how insane He-Man is. It's almost a good place to start, because there's no linear narrative, so it's like, well, who gives

a shit? I'm kind of hoping that someone writes in and is like, listen, you should try this. he meant because it's way less complicated and here's an episode with six people in it I mean you see the fucking Christmas party they throw at the end it's a sea of people but it's so crazy that's what is kind of nice about it it's

it's one of the craziest cartoons I've ever seen and we need to talk about the parents back on Earth real quick oh yeah you're right so they drop these kids back off with their parents which for some reason they're videotaping because they can watch them in another planet dude

Ethereum man it's the fucking NSA they have lives of others so it's like they got this this dad is amazing because he's got like a Christmas sweater

on and he's a giant fat guy with a big old curly mustache it's like Super Mario just ate nothing but like Cal Zones three times a day

for a year it is it's Mario plus Carl from Aquatine Hunger Force yes it's very Carl so that would be Ron Jeremy I'm doing the math

push you up that mustache by like 70% and yeah it's a Ronjo So these kids have been missing and just appear out of thin air And the parents are like Where have you been? You know what?

It's past your bedtime. Time to go to sleep. I don't have time. I'm not going to question you all night. You just go to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning. And they're like, we went to a land where this skeleton was watching us

and this bat skeleton tried to kill us And I think that there was a little... Never mind. I got to go let Paul Dano out of the shower. I mean, they also, like, He-Man, as a Christmas gift to these kids, it's like, here's a couple of Batman utility belts.

See you back in your universe. And the parents are like, well, where did you get those snazzy belts? And they're like, oh, a God monster gave them to us. And they're like, well, that's a lie. But you know what? We don't have time for this. And they're also flying around the living room now with these weird belts. Well, they rub it in their face because they're like,

oh, yeah, don't believe us. and they make the belts, like, elevate them, and they fly, like, good night. And at the end of this Christmas special, or until the he-man bumper at the end, is a freeze frame of these parents, like, what, what? I can't wait for the awkward teen years where, like, that kid's, like, coming home later at night. And they're like, where have you been, God damn it? And he's like, Skeletor didn't care. I wish I was still with Skeletor.

Don't you say that. Don't you say that to your father. Yes, come back and live with me. You can stay out as late as you want. You can have all the candy you can eat. You know, the legal drinking age in Ethereum is 13. Oh, my God, what is he planning? All sorts of sticky situations.

Well, no, I just kind of think of him as like one of those off-the-boat parents. Skeletor, cool, dad. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So long as you do it in my lair, it's fine. Under my roof, anything goes. under my stone cave roof. Ah, that's animation damnation for this week. If you want more information about the show,

check out WHMpodcast.com. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. You and say that. Chris Gavin. Eric Sister. Take it easy. I don't know what's coming. over me. But whatever it is, I don't like it!

Now, stop licking my face, you dratted dog! Get away from me! You're drowning me! Get on!