We Hate Movies - S4: Animation Damnation #5 - Star Trek: The Animated Series: The Magicks of Megas-Tu

Episode Date: June 27, 2014

On this edition of Animation Damnation, the guys are ragging on an episode of the Star Trek cartoon entitled, "The Magicks of Megas-Tu"! While possibly being a huge commercial for their all-new, hilarious, Trekmentary: Nemesis track, the guys also spend some time pondering George Lucas on 'ludes, Kirk being okay with Satan and whether or not Bones was a Confederate racist. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey, gang, you might be noticing that this month's episode of animation damnation is coming to you on the WHM Prime feed. Oh, no, we put in the wrong spot. Oh, fuck! No, no, we're ruined. Oh, no. Oh, man, I can see right now the ship's just taking on water. Oh, all from the wrong feed. Okay, I got one cork here.

Eric, more corks. Oh, no, I'm using my hat to try to get this water out. But I've nowhere to put it. So I've just been putting it in a circle. You're telling me. We just have two corks here? Shit. No, the reason we're doing this.

The episode, by the way, is on the, it's an episode from the Star Trek, the animated series. So to tie it in to the Treckmentary, the episode is kind of like one big episode for Treckmentary or like a commercial for Treckmentary. A little bit, yeah. A little bit, not the whole thing. Yeah, we also talk about the animated series here and there. Yeah, well, you know, because, listen, you guys know, you guys and gals at home that when we get talking about Star Trek, hours are, wasted. A wormhole.

So to plug the trackmatory, we figured, hey, what the heck? What the hay? Yeah. We'll put it on the main feed. So please enjoy this month's episode of Animation Damnation on Star Trek, the animated series. And be sure to check out Trekmentary Nemesis, available in iTunes, CD Baby, Google Play, the Amazon store.

Eric's got something to say. And also the other animation damnations you may have missed. We did one on Teen Wolf. What was the other one? We went on G.I. Joe. Karate Kid. Karate Kid. Yeah, you could get those on the app or Bandcamp page as well. Exactly. W.H.mpodcast.com. Enjoy the episode. The weed quality in the writer's room of this program has to be some of the best in entertainment history.

I don't usually like to go in for that line of reasoning. I'm like, oh, they must have been, but clearly they must have been really stoned. Everyone is totally stung. And you're right, I don't really like doing it either, you know. What were they smoking? But literally what were they smoking? That's the, I think this cartoon is the one time you can say that, is what were they smoking? This specific episode, too, like that.

That's totally true. Hey, man, what if, uh, what if Kirk met the devil, man? Oh, shit. Kirk v. Devil, brother. Dude, to get this, he's kind of cool with him. Welcome to Animation Damnation Episode 5. I'm Andrew Juppin alongside Steve Sadek and Eric Siski. We're talking about an episode of Star Trek, the animated series.

Now, what is the actual name of this episode called? Something. Oh, shit. Magna Carta. I don't think it was the Magnus of 2-2. It's a weird name. We'll get the actual episode name here. See, it's not as simple as Joe's Night Out.

Like, Joe's Night Out, you know exactly what you're doing. You remember it. It has something to do with what happens in the episode. I mean, this should just be Kirk v. devil yeah the the end has a twist where it's like oh shit it was the devil like you drew him exactly like the devil even even cloven hoof yeah he's got he's got hoofs he's got cloven feet it's hooves yeah but you can also say clove and feet for that yes so i think he's got cloven feet or he's got hooves yeah steve isn't this great that we can kill time while andrew's looking up the

episode shit I just love the idea of we're going to meet a thing from, like, religious lore. Yeah. Because they kind of did that horseshit in the fifth movie, which is way after this. Yeah, well, there was that movie where they meet God. Well, he's, but he's an alien tricking them trying to say he's God. Yeah, and in this cartoon, it's, I guess, quite literally the devil. It is actually the devil.

But speaking of the movies, before we totally kick this off, I want to give a big fat plug out there for our trekmentary commentary. Yeah, there you go. Trecmentary Nemesis. That's what it's called. On iTunes and Amazon for like $99 or $1.99, depending on where you shop. Shop around if you want. You can get a better deal. It's true.

It's available wherever digital things are sold. So that's Amazon, Google Play, iTunes, and CD Baby. And it's us talking about Star Trek Nemesis. Right. The final next generation film. Somebody said actually, I don't know, somewhere on the internet. they're like, oh, you did such a great job with Star Trek Nemesis,

you definitely should tackle Star Trek Five, the Undiscovered Country. No, that's six. Final Frontier. Undiscovered Country is an actual good movie. Yeah, I like it. It was on this TV last night. Oh, wow. Yeah, I got sucked in. I've actually just gone through the first five.

I have the six one. I bought the box that I never saw any of the original movies because I was a TNG guy. And I really was upset with the fifth movie. It's wretched. I was spitting mad. I haven't seen it in eons. Here's my question. Because I feel like we're a little divided on Star Trek 5, whether it's an episode or it's a commentary.

Right into the We All Hate Movies mailbag. What do you want us to do? You tell us, baby. Yeah, I mean, I'm of the mind that it's commentary worthy. That's where I look at it. I can just watch it. I mean, I've seen, here's the thing. For whatever reason, and I don't know if it was because it was what was available at the coconuts where I was buying VHS tapes.

Sure. I only had two Star Trek movies on VHS, Rath of Khan and fucking goddamn Final Frontier. I don't know why, but those were the two that I had. And I have seen Star Trek Five, the Final Frontier, more times than I have seen any other Star Trek movie. Wow. I just watched that movie. And as a kid, it's child abuse. This was a movie that I didn't.

need we hate movies to help me come to terms with it being terrible on my own I sort of realized that it was terrible but the first couple times it's Star Trek these are the things I like it's Star Trek it's got everything I want Star Trek that's what I'm doing it. Rocket Boots for no reason it was fucking rocket boots but you know

what I never subscribed to was those old bastards sitting around a campfire singing row row row row your boat even as a kid that made me want to throw up. What are you a green blooded Vulcan? I might as well be because one row row row row row your boat is one of the dumbest, most obnoxious songs of all time. No adults should sing it without children

present. Exactly. No adults should be singing around a campfire period unless there's children present. Well, I don't know. You get really drunk. Well, unless you're singing like some good, like, drunken songs. But dude, a children's nursery rhyme tune... That's creepy. Stop. Un settling. And he's trying to get

him to do like the whole like, go-round. You know, he's like, now I'm going to start at this part, Spock. And then you're going to come in and sing this fucking part. And then Jim's going to come in and sing that fucking part. That is if your dumb Vulcan mind, can understand what a fucking song is.

God, you, you're sick, just looking at you. God, that's the best relationship of the original movies. I love it. Just DeForest Kelly and Spock's throat. Oh, the whole time. But it's all specious really weirdly. It's really,

it's just because he wants to be Kirk's best friend and he's not. And Dr. McCoy is kind of an old racist. Yeah, he's a simple country doctor. A.k.a. You know. Hates them Vulcans. Hates them dirty Klingons. Don't even get me started, Jim about the Klingons.

Jim, boy, did you ever get my note on the Vulcan bathroom idea that I had? I just I have a couple of it. I just have a little bit of a problem medically about going to the bathroom where Vulcans are peeing.

Another person's got a problem with those damn Yankees. Not the baseball team. Northerners probably i'm guessing northern is that a problem with what no no bones oh bones i just imagine he he yearns for the days of the confederate confederacy it's probably true still well you're in the 22nd century why not you're your your your guy's hero picard yeah all he does is like oh remember when we used to have slaves i don't think oh i remember old the old times and old england and Remember when we had boats that were actual boats?

Well, yeah, boats are actual boats, not... Remember those Dutch slave ships? Oh, I yearn for the days of the Triangle Trade, Mr. LaForge? No. No, that never happened. So this is the laziest cartoon in history, right? And by the way, it's called the Magics of Megas 2. That's Magic with a C-K.

It's Magics with a C-K, and then Megas 2 is M-E-G-A-S-E-E-A-S-E. hyphen capital T, U. And that's the planet that's in the center of the universe. There's always something classy. Even in the worst of the cartoons of pluralizing the word of magic. Like, oh, look at those. Those are some dark magics. Well, I think that that implies, right, if you're saying magics, right, that's like dark arts.

You say magic, it's some idiot doing a card trick. So what's good magic? Like, what's like real, like, honest magic? is there such a thing it's only it's only dumbasses with cards or like the devil stuff yeah well what like you mean like like uh benevolent harry potter spells yeah exactly i guess that's like wizardry you'd classify that as wizardry it's magic i guess i'm just thinking in in the real world when i hear magics in the real world yeah it's only dark magics in in my living room when i hear if someone used the word magics,

I just think, you know, malevolent forces it work. I think the K really sends it, sends it home there. K is an evil letter. Yeah, it's one of those hard level. That's why I'm Eric with a C. Yeah, not America with a K. No, no, I'm, no. If I were, I'd be,

you know, in league with the devil. So speaking of in league with the devil, so this episode of this show is the Enterprise has been assigned to go to the center of the universe, which I don't know if this is a Starfleet sanctioned operation. We're just going to

go to the center of the universe. It sounds like a prank. Like, you know, go find the pool on the roof freshman. It's like, go to the center of the universe. Like, well, how does that work? Yeah, totally. What is it? Fucking pledge week at Starfleet. And what was the name of that planet again? Megas 2. So you got a big

fat 2 on the name of the planet that's in the center of the universe. Yeah, but it's T.U. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It wasn't like Rajel 7 where there's just like a number there See the thing is like we can In we live in the future now

So we can look on Netflix and stuff And we see what the spelling is of that too But if I'm watching this thing Oh yeah that's a good call Back in the day you know Unless you had a 1970s TV guide Yeah or maybe you were You were calling in for the transcripts

People did that right Oh man right Yeah it was probably trivia like no idiots oh please it's T you go to a Star Trek convention and say

Magus T2 with the letter the number two you get your head crushed in how would you say it with the number two you'd say Magus number two and so you're like well first of all idiot it's Vegas 2 with T you second of all why are you going so far

and have you waited to be wrong you are really trying your best to be incorrect about something you should do that one day We should do like a remote piece. Just go to a Star Trek convention? I'd love to. And piss people off?

Yeah. I would totally do that. Get our hands crushed. Because we're like those bad boy Star Trek fans, right? Because we like to think that. We criticize it. Yeah. We criticize it.

We call out everything that's wrong with them. We watch Star Trek smoking cigarettes in our leather pants. New York City. Yep. We're the place that makes shitty salsa. Star Trek update. my Deep Space 9 rewatch has petered out. Oh, yeah, that's how that's going to go.

Yeah, but it was getting really good, though. I just watched too much TV. But it wasn't bad. How deep did you go? I got to, like, the fourth season where Worf comes in. Oh, that's a lot. That's a lot. Don't, yeah, you know, pet yourself on the back. Yeah, no, I mean, I haven't given up just yet.

Yeah, just leave it there. Netflix will tell you where you were, which is nice. That's what I like about it. But then the problem was, you know, me and the missa started season two of Orange's the New Black the other day. You got Kate Mulgrew on there. Now I'm thinking about watching Voyager all over again. So I got that to handle. You should have enough hours of the day, man.

Fucking fake problems that I'm creating for myself. Speaking of fake problem. The magic's of Megas, too. Excuse me. So they go to the center. They're like, Starfleet's like, I don't know. We kind of ran out of ideas in those, that first show. This is a cartoon.

Might as well go to the center of the earth. Or the universe, I should say. The universe, yeah. So they go there and they get in some kind of wormhole-y kind of. to thing. It's they kind of fly into some sort of nebula, gobbledy gook science talk. Magics, yeah. Yeah, they fly into magics. A big

magics cloud. The Orlando Magics cloud. And they encounter, stuff starts going crazy, right, on the ship. So like, life support starts breaking down. And, you know, the thrusters aren't working. And Scotty's bitching that the

you know, the backup power. It's running his mouth all over that bridge. Just flip, flapping his gums. Can we just kind of circle out a little bit about in a macro sense about this this is some of the laziest animation and laziest voice work you're ever going to get well it's it's produced by filmation so so right there yeah it's the worst animation what else are they known for they did like scooby-doo they did um yeah all the he man stuff they did it's kind of like before like that uh anime style kind of started started seeping in like the with the turtles you know what i mean

we had bigger eyes and we were actually like kind of doing a little bit more yeah i mean anytime you watch a cartoon where like the character just has like these little black circles as eyeballs and then there's like one kind of slit that juts out to make it look like an odd like that's filmation and like sometimes you know people are missing body parts or like i think filmation also did that uh original ghostbusters cartoon where there's the monkey oh yeah yeah yeah yeah not the nothing to do with the famous film franchise no and not and not That's why they called it the real Ghostbusters cartoon. That makes sense.

It was like two dudes, a monkey, a fucking wacky, chitty, shitty, bang, bang type car. That was terrible. Yeah, that might be... Speaking of animation, damnation, that's going to be on at some point. You know, what we got to do one day is some Hannah Barbera stuff. You know, grape ape. Oh, yeah, great babe is offensive. So, I mean...

Really? I don't know. How about that shark that was curly? That sucks. Oh, that guy... I think that's kind of where our Jaws voice came from. Oh, I think it was. Yeah.

You know that character was. So if you paid for this, you just got your money back right there. That's a wealth of knowledge. No one knows that. We didn't talk about the origins of that voice. There you go. Origin stories. W.H.M. Origins.

Wolverine. He, like, all of the characters, all of the actors, like, you know, they got fired or the show just got canceled. Like it did. Everybody comes back, which is really weird. Like, that never happens in cartoon. Right. You got William Shatner doing Kirk's voice. You got Leonard.

Nimoy DeForce Kelly? This is outrageous. Down to Nichelle Nichols. I mean, everybody's here. The gang's all here. No Chekhov, though. Chekhov is replaced by some orange alien. Right. There's a gobbly gook alien. Well, that's because you're drawing things, right? So when

you're drawing stuff, we can make all sorts of weird shit. You know, it's not just pointy ears or a little fucking dumb mustache. And I think J.J. Abrams definitely saw the animated series. Oh, yeah. At least in the first movie that he did,

there's definitely some gleep-glop aliens on that bridge. The second one's got a gleap-glop alien, that big fucking blue thing that works at that command center at the back. The movies slip him in, too. Like, there's just like, oh, look at this guy. He's like blue. And I'm like, who the fuck are you, dude? Get the fuck out of my Star Trek.

Yeah, I mean, go use that bad. Go use the blue guy bad. Whoa, what a racist. You're speaking of specious. You're drinking out of a humanoid water fountain. the blue motherfucker water fountain is down on the next deck. So was that blue guy, humanoid? I guess.

I mean, humanoid's the wrong word. No, I know humanoid's like more than one arm or whatever. So, I mean, I don't know. It's whatever.

It's whatever. Humanoid is an actor in makeup. Isn't it a good idea? Well, you've got to figure, too, I mean, it's so, this is a bizarre thing to do

because the show was 66 to like 69. Yeah. This cartoon doesn't kick in until 73. And the theme song lets you know It's a little jazier It's a little more 70s There's like It's right where I want to be

Let's put the photograph on You know make a high ball Pop some ludes Watch the Star Trek cartoon You know I was saying smoking weed But guaranteed there was some ludes Oh yeah dude in the writer's room You take your socks off

Dig your toes into that shag carpet And be like You know what? I'm in a really good spot right now Now let's write an episode where the enterprise meets the devil. Yeah. So the devil, like an alien known as Lucin, jumps like through their viewfinder into the bridge

while everything's going haywire. Yeah, they're like, they're all about to die because like the life supports off and this, that, and the other thing. And then he boards and he, whoever is voicing Lucin is like the one actor who clearly hasn't been in any other Star Trek is like this guy was excited. to be doing this episode. He's like, he's like John Reese Davies.

He's like, hello, my enterprise friends. Come in and know me better man. I know why I went to Muppets Christmas Carol there, but that's what happened. And, you know,

everyone else is just, they're literally reading the script for the first time, like slowly under their breath and that's their voice acting. Oh, it's a one and done situation for sure. And like,

hello, loosen. What are you doing on the enterprise? That's even more. acting than they did. But yeah, like there's at one point, like, Kirk is like pleading for somebody's life and he's like, no, that'd be a shame. You can't let him die. I mean, when is that a T.J. Hooker callback happening. Oh my God, you guys. What? I take back what I just fucking said about this voice actor. Yeah, you'd eat it. Who had not been doing

anything. Is he a Star Trek actor? Voicing Lucian. James Duhan. What? What? No way. Yeah, man. I guess that's why Scotty kind of has like almost no lines in this episode. Like he's cavetching at the beginning about his fucking backup power. That's crazy. And then that's it.

And then it's all the Lucian show. Well, this might be his best performance. Well, it's weird because he's like, that's a very voice actory thing to do is like, you know, all of a sudden it's like, you know, everyone does. Mark Hamill did a bunch of voices on the Batman show and whatever else. Oh, yeah. Famously, the Joker. but like he'd also be like a newscaster sometimes but like with a voice like mark hamels though you can tell like you can also kind of tell that that joker is mark hamill you know what i mean

but apparently james doohan's like billy west i mean it's insane it's really truly insane i just have my mind blown so this guy apparently voiced by james duhan is like really excited to have met the enter crew. And the enterprise crew, you know, being in the 22nd century or whatever is kind of, they're like, we as a society have rightly moved away from organized religion on earth. Have we? Oh, no, oh, in Star Trek. Oh, thank God. We as a society in the 22nd century. Yeah. No, not now. Clearly. Clearly not now. What is Steve smoking? Well, yeah, yeah, no, they're like, the devil. They just, like, everyone else would be like,

Oh, it's the devil. Everyone watching it is, oh, it's the devil, because it's a big beefcake with fucking goddamn goat hooves and horns on his head. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's missing a red cape. And a pitchfork. Other than that, it's the devil. I left it back on my planet.

Magus 2. I kept expecting Kirk to go up to him and tap his head and see, can we leave tomorrow? Can we leave the next day? What are you doing, Zah? What are you doing? It's James Duhan. You're telling my fortune. Oh, no. Wrong show.

That's a great episode of the Twilight Zone. It's one of the best. Top 5. I got so pissed because I don't remember what I was reading. Oh, no, that's what it was. And it's a good book. I haven't finished yet. It's a good book. Aside from this one glaring era, I'm reading Nicholas Myers' autobiography.

Okay. So due to directed Khan and Star Trek 6. He's talking about Shatner. And he mentions that Shatner was big on TV because he'd done like some westerns and some sci-fi stuff and an episode of the Twilight Zone where he's on an airplane. And I was like, dude, that other episode is way better. What was the other episode? The other episode is where he and his lady friend go to a diner and there's like the little devil box thing. It's like pull this piece of paper out of its mouth and it tells you a fortune.

And it's something about like bad luck And he starts like getting really paranoid It's just about paranoia Like you don't know whether or not The thing's evil or not Or if it's just a thing where people get like Really too wrapped up in it And like there's a great thing at the end

Where there's like this other like They decide to put it behind them And move on to the next town And this like old guy comes up He's like could I leave tomorrow? It's like oh you poor fuck Just stuck in this time Speaking of which you just totally blew

Our cool Star Trek cred By saying you're reading Nicholas Myers It's autobiography. Dude, this guy had an awesome life. I mean, he's not dead. He's still very much alive. But he has had a rockin life in Hollywood. He's like the classic Hollywood success story.

Like, started writing copy at Paramount, like here in New York, and made his way out to L.A., like, he's written a bunch of books, and he's done screenplays, and he's fucking been nominated for Oscars. Good for him. It's great. It's really uplifting. Better than reading your autobiography. What am I?

still doing here the Eric Ciscus story you know the sales have been poor I will admit that but we just got a new Kindle edition oh really Kindle single yeah perfect so I mean we're hanging out with Satan Satan's just like hey magic is real they're like way what he's like yeah no I know this is a science fiction show but now it's about magic and he he starts doing magic stuff and like, Spock, for some reason again, like, these characters aren't exactly as drawn as well as they are in other iterations. Spock's like, well, that makes

logical, magic in this instance makes logical sense, Captain. It's like, no. There's nothing logical about it really. So then they're saying, like, you know, oh, you're from this race of people. He's, he, Lucian says that he's from this race of jibbidi-jab, whatever, and they're like, oh, we want to meet

those people, you know, take us to your planet. And it's another horse. Certainly. It's a hoarshit thing where he's like, oh, well, I'm going to have to trans, like, I'm going to have to modify everything you see around you. So it's like what you can understand. Or I shall go mad. Yeah. And it's like, all right, I'm going to make this like beautiful planet.

And he's like, here, does this dump satisfy you? Do you recognize this as a home world now? And they're like, well, yeah, because before it was just a red cloud. You don't like red clouds? And we liked it that way. and so then it turns out that Lucian's cohorts on his race of people

are none too pleased and it's another horseshit like oh we were also at Earth back in the day and we advised Earthlings and this that and the other thing and you're like oh okay well what happened next oh well then the Earthlings turned on us

and we were persecuted let's take you back to what that was all about and you're like oh my God how many minutes are left in this 24 minute cartoon Well, the funny thing is, during all these things, like, let me tell you to the history of Earth. And he's like, well, first we were in caves, and then we did this. And it's only a static shot of Earth the entire time. And it's just James Duhan doing it up.

Yeah, thanks a lot, filmation. You would think that there would be a montage. So they're replicating the Salem Witch Trials at this point because this is what Earthlings did to their race of people. So witches we burned in the 1600s were from the center of the universe and Magnus 2 and they were just people that knew magic. They were just magic people.

Yep, yep. The old witches were aliens, switcheroo. And Steve pointed this out when we were re-watching this. There was a couple of out-of-contestadors there. Thanks a lot, Philmation. You know, maybe, you know, Spain wandered up from Florida at the time. It was like, hey, what's cracking

here? Oh, you're burning people? And you know, we did that back in the Spanish Inquisition. Let me give you some pointers. Give you some tips on tying someone to a post and burning them. Another thing of, like, bad reference art, like, these people keep changing shape. Like, that even Lucian isn't exactly

in that form because it's all like, oh, let me show you something you can understand. But like, when they ever they go back to their normal form, they just look like a bunch of space ghosts. Yes, they do look like hooded space ghosts. Yeah. Just some space goes. It's really creepy and weird.

But why would this guy choose to look like the devil? Unless he's the devil. He is the devil. Yeah. It's insane. The other people aren't. And apparently, you know, I don't, I don't know. But I just don't know.

Your noodles all scrambled by this episode. It is. I'm surprised Bones didn't figure it out first because he's still from the Bible Belt. Kind of. I mean, if there was anyone who should have pinpointed this shit immediately. Oh, Jim, it's Satan. Jim, I read about this in Appalachia. He used to fear this guy every Sunday, Jim.

McCoy, doctor slash theologian. Yeah, why not? So it gets to the point where it's like, you know, Earthlings were so terrible to us. Like you did these witch, these witch trials. And we're showing you. that's all like and and we don't want any earthlings come into the center of the universe because you're just going to fuck up our magic and kill us and then kirk has to be like no we're not going to do that here's all of our data cards from the enterprise to show you the history of

mankind since then because you don't know it and it's like fucking like eight millimeter film strips and like punch cards like computer punch cards old-timey IBM punch cards it's so weird and like you get this a lot on Star Trek right I feel like every eight to 12 episodes of Star Trek

in any series there's a trial yeah there's a trial humanity is being put on trial someone v the cast of the television show you're watching and that's just what this is and it's like Spock is like all right well I'm not

not a human, and so I'm not from Earth, let me be their defense attorney. And so he's like conducting the trial and he first interviews Lucian and it's blah, blah, blah. And then it's up to Kirk. And it's just like even though Shatner was checked

out, he still made sure he was the fucking hero in every episode. Oh yeah, absolutely. And this is just like, okay, Jim, why don't you show them about all of humanity's accomplishments? And he's like, ah, well, gee, since the 1600s, we did all sorts of great stuff.

Granted, there was also genocide and two world wars and a bunch of other stuff. Civil Rights Act in 1965. It was pretty happening. Sounds like bullshit to me, Jim. This fucking, this Lucian's calling him friend Kirk. Yeah. He's

friend Kirk and friend Spock. Because he could sense all the sin on Kirk, you know? Yeah, he's like, oh, this guy knows how to get down. Yeah. He's a real palomime. He knows in a few. years, Kirk's going to be his roommate for the rest of time.

Get your plot ready, Kirk. We're going to be best pals. So, then it's horseshit, because, like, they kind of lose the trial, even though they win the trial, because, like, the main, like, the head honcho, who's just dressed up like a pilgrim in this whole thing. It's pilgrims and conquistadors. Right, but the main guy is a pilgrim. Yeah.

And he looks like an animated Brendan Gleason. And he's just like, all right, yeah, trial's over it. Now I am just going to lock your friend Lucian in this red bubble for all time. He's about to set him to the fucking fandom zone, man. And so Kirk like steps in, and this is the craziest shit of craziest shit. Is Spock's like, okay, Jim, you know what to do. Just think of what you believe magic to be and use that. And you're like, what the fuck is he talking about?

And Kirk's like, got it. I know exactly what he's talking about. Well, earlier in the episode, Spock's like, well, it's only logical. If they could do magic, we could do magic. And he's like, watch we move this Vulcan chess piece with magic. After he draws a pentagram on the ground. Yeah. That's a little weird for my Saturday morning cartoon show.

Yeah. That's a real mom's coming in in the 1970s smoking sick cigarettes. What are you watching? The devil! It's not Sunday. Smack. smack smack smack Flip it over to Davy and Goliath

Smack goes Bobby Draper Oh man that kid is just Ready to kill somebody at some point That family's got problems My favorite line of the entire first half of that season Is Bobby Draper being like I have stomach aches all the time Oh that poor fucking kid

Bobby Draper's gonna go to like a water tower With a sniper rifle Oh yeah absolutely So then Kirk starts magic fighting Brendan Gleason and it's dumb and it lasts like two seconds because again it's a 24

minute episode like that's what I feel is a big I've watched a lot of this cartoon and a big problem with it is they were not used to going from the hour long format down to a 24 minute cartoon so here we're really trying to wedge all this shit in to make it feel

like a Star Trek episode but it's just all rushed there's literally like two exchanges of magic laser themes coming out of hands. But it's also very much like, and then kind of story telling. You know what I mean? It's like, and then they're on trial, I guess.

Sure, man. Well, there's one part where like Brendan Gleason's like, oh, by the way, the extent of our magic is such. And he splits the enterprise and half and blows it up. Just like, oh, all right. Well, they're all dead. I guess he reassembles the matter later. I guess it's sort of what you earthlings would call a transport.

quarter, but of the whole ship. And also, the only people, the stocks are like 12 people. It's like the main cast and then like a couple of extras. So I'm imagining everybody else is dead. Yeah. Also, why do you need extras for a cartoon? Or pack up to the gills at that point. Yeah, but you don't have that many stocks.

Well, then again, you're recreating all of Salem, Massachusetts with your magic. So I guess you could theoretically make unlimited stocks and put all 3,000 aboard the Enterprise into them. I had a question about this orange alien. Is he, does he talk in other episodes? I think he might, but there's also

cat people that talk. There are cat people. It's not like the orange alien is, like the orange alien doesn't get his own episodes at any point. I don't think. None of them do, I don't think. It was just Walter Koenig,

and like that's how they interpreted Chekhov was just this big, orange alien oh great captain i am now a cat person i pissed off the wrong person i'm admiral i'm admiral ecbar whatever that is captain clean my litter box please yeah there's so many gloop gloop and aliens the one thing i was like oh all right this is like 73 to 75 yeah certain other franchise comes along in 77 and then That's chalk full of gleepe glooping aliens. I wonder if a certain someone watched a cartoon.

Oh, I was just hanging out with a bunch of my lewd buddies while they were writing this cartoon show. George Lucas on ludes. His lewd buddies. Yeah, you got lewd pals. Why didn't have given them a job? I called it Industrial Light and Magic. That's how it happened.

One like, fucking ranch. house in southern California. Yep, and we're just a bunch of fucking pill pop and lewd heads. Tinted glasses as far as the eyes can see. Funny you mentioned that. That's why we bought Skywalker Ranch. It was just to, you know,

do some ludes on the weekend without Danny's mom coming in. You wanted a place to do ludes in private. Things get a little weird with ludes. Do ludes play some D&D. Hey, Stephen, want to come over and play D&D this weekend? Hey, Stephen, that's how

I came up with Sabalba. I was on a bunch of ludes. I rolled a seven and I was like, Sabalba. You know, Stephen, we really do need a dungeon master. Someone to guide us through the game. Oh, that's fucking great. And that's also where Tumbl of Doom came from. Hey, you guys hear that Harrison Ford hurt his ankle inside the Millennium Falcon today?

What a flub. That'll make you to do these fucking shitty sequels. That makes your childhood hurt a little bit. I broke my ankle on the fucking falcon. Pull up the goddamn skateboard out. It kind of really like breaks that magic for me, right? Yeah. Wait, wait.

Hansel is now so old. On a fake version of his ship. He fell down and was hospitalized. Like the story said something about like, heard it on a door and I'm just imagining like the Millennium Falcon didn't have these

but maybe it's been modified in the years since you know return of the Jedi but like I just had like a door that just like comes down and this I'm just picturing

this door coming down on Harrison Ford saying oh my fucking foot it's like the idea of like Han Solo in this like souped up Millennium Falcon being 70 years old and not knowing how to do anything

my fucking grandson reprogram the controls on me I don't know how to work this door You can get slam. We could get up to 12 parseps doing the Kessel run, but you can't get me to the hospital any quicker. So we should probably say how this cartoon ends. Oh, yeah, good idea.

So, you know, Kirk fights this, you know, pilgrim. And then they're like, that was the test. Yeah, it's always the test. The devil's just one of our people is just a regular dude for us. So, like, it's great that you defended him. And Kirk's like, all right. Yeah. Nice. I defended Satan.

He def- Yeah. He pretty is outstanding. I mean, yeah, they do at the end, like, you know, to sort of like, they're trying to boil Kirk's blood a bit and they're like, you know that, you know that guy's other name? It's not just Lucian. It's Lucifer.

And like, one kid's like, what? Shit. And what's- Mom! Guess what Kirk just did. Don't tell grandma. What's great about that, too, is Kirk is, you know, is finally totally aware of the fact that He is the devil and is just like, I'm not interested in legends.

He's a living person. That's what's so great about it. It's just shit and unorganized religion and I love it. He's like, oh, yeah, that fucking fairy tale. That's great. How about you guys on Sunday maybe, think about being nice to everyone. Maybe even the devil. Especially the devil.

Maybe that we don't have all these problems. What do you do the devil ever do to you? Oh, man, we're really saying. something this time. Oh my God, you guys. It's a strike. Knocked all 10 down. Now that you guys are finished, maybe we can play our dungeons and tracks.

George, look at the guy in the back. I think we got to write another episode, George. Well, that's cool. I'll just hang out and put on some more records. You guys like John Denver? get out george i got some good spike jones stuff it's pretty funny true story i got some john denver on vinyl oh nice it's great dude fucking man rocky mountain high yep gets you where you need to go yep was anyone embarrassed watching this i will say 200% absolutely not i've watched this show

for a long time before before agreeing to do this episode of animation damnation uh it's a great hanging out on your couch show if you get my drift it's fantastic it's stupid it's silly but the cool thing and I didn't realize this until today but look at it this way the first

series the live action series three seasons this cartoon two seasons thus completing the five year mission wow there you go clap clap clap clap I think it's pretty cool if you look at it that way I mean I would recommend this

This is great after a night of partying, like we do because we're party dudes or party Star Trek dudes. You come home late at night. Once the ludes are wearing down, you pop it on, man. And you let it take you to sleep. It's perfect. By party Star Trek dudes, you'll be drinking in your own house and watching other Star Trek movies. Hey, you know what? It's how you save money.

Listen, all you kids out there. Going out every night's not worth it. Stay home with Star Trek like a lot. adult we live in like the one of the most expensive cities in this country yeah and actually the world so take that Shanghai yeah uh yeah I was a bit of I was a bit embarrassed but not really like the animation is tough and it's kind of like you know how much all of the actors just didn't want to be there except for James Duhan apparently he was the only one swinging twice for the fences you hear that Disney I could do all of it and I feel

what that is also is like because motherfucker was like Canadian and everybody just because this is the only thing he was really known for everybody thought he was fucking Scottish and he's like no I can do all sorts of voices don't count me out yet Disney

well I'm already morbidly obese so you have to go the voice route no I don't know he's not Johnny Steve it's a lot of fun it's stupid the animation's terrible here's the one thing I will say in defense of the animation though like yes the actual people flip flap in their mouths is wretched body parts don't move yeah sometimes it's only like pursed lips moving and everything

else is just i mean it's shitty filmation everybody's seen it but when the weird space stuff happens on that show like in this like again when you're hanging out on the couch wink wink it's awesome it's fucking awesome it's awesome it's awesome it's i it's i It's awesome. Oh, it's awesome. Don't turn it off. Are you smoking weed? No, it's...

No, Bob, relax. Just ludes. Okay. Mom, you got a carton of cigarettes in there for me. It's 1973. Yeah, if there's anyone young listening, we were portraying characters. Yeah.

And don't do anything. Don't do anything with your life. Maybe enjoy a glass. water with this. I'm going to turn on the Star Trek cartoon. A tall ice cold glass of water. It's important to hydrate, especially in

these summer months. I think this is not the one and only time we'll visit Star Trek the animated series. There's a few seasons to do. There's two seasons of this show. And there's a lot of crazy episodes. Like we always you know, we always say this, especially with the bigger

shows like G-I. Joe. You've got to find the real crazy episodes. And I mean, shit, the crew of the enterprise hanging out, fighting for, defending, and befriending the devil is a pretty great start, I feel. Yes. Yeah, definitely watch it.

And both, do we say this? The first two seasons are, the only two seasons are on Netflix in full. You watch them? Yep, they are. Anytime you want, tall glass of water and you at night watching Star Trek cartoons. What is worse?

This or Enterprise? Enterprise. It's a live action TV series. I couldn't care. Like all of those like TNG spin-offs like during that heyday like everything kind of not spinoffs but like there was you know there's a time when like literally four Star Trek shows were on at once and that's amazing. Yeah.

I it just got diminishing returns until Enterprise showed up. I was like, you know what? I'm not even going to bother. No. I watched the pilot of that show. Although I'm intrigued because I've noticed via IMDB credits that a lot, not a lot, but a couple of the next generation cast appear. They also do some weird time travel stuff in that where like Hitler takes New York. Let me just say that.

They're always fighting Nazis when time travels involved. You can look at there's a clip on YouTube from Enterprise of like, news on parade. And it's like, DeFiura took in the sites today in New York. Oh, Madison Square Garden and, oh, the Lady Liberty. I mean, it's pretty great. But other than that, it's terrible. In New York. He doesn't take New York.

No, no, he both. Oh. I think he takes over America. Oh, see that. You let him in on a sightseeing mission, and he secretly takes over the country. I think it's something stupid, like the Gleap Gloop aliens help the Nazis take over America in the past. So, so, uh, so, uh, so, my, Archer, Captain Archer's got to go back in time and help the mafia fight Nazis.

I feel like any time you get to a time machine, you type in like 1985 or like, you know, 1851, it automatically just says, didn't you mean 1934? Like, it just, you're always going back to Hitler

time. Yeah. Because that's, you know, autocorrect on time machines. It's crazy. Oh, no, the autocorrect sent us back to the 1930s again. I'm a feeling we could just do a Star Trek podcast. I don't know. I know there's other Star Trek

podcasts. You know, once we start getting paid for this and we do this every day, I would totally do a Star Trek podcast. I would definitely do a Star Trek podcast. We could have one on every show going simultaneously. Not Enterprise. You'd have to get somebody else. Yeah, no. That's, yeah. We're not going to touch Enterprise. I would

totally do it. Oh, and useless plug, but a Kumail Nanjiani's X-Files podcast. It's great. I just did the thing where you kiss your fingers, like you ate good food. It's great. You ate it up. Because he's not, he's not like making jokes about it.

He's like a huge X-Files fan. He calls it like his Star Trek. Yeah. And he just talks about episodes. Like literally one, you know, he's doing it, which is fantastic. The plug for that show. Kumail Nanjiani's X-Files files. It's name of the podcast.

Yeah, on Farrell Audio. Ferrell Audio? Yeah. What's that? that's uh who hosts his podcast oh was that like a podcasting network i think it is that's fantastic we will revisit the star trek cartoon at one point or another but that is animation damnation episode number five where we're talking about star trek the magics of megas two and that's to you it's not the number two you don't want to be a jerk and it's not pu you might be

Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. See you today. Eric Sisker. Take it easy.