We Hate Movies - S4 Ep125: Body Parts

Episode Date: October 8, 2013

In this week's Spooktacular episode, the gang shakes hands with Jeff Fahey and his new arm in 1991's body horror thriller, Body Parts! How in the world does Jeff Fahey survive that car accident? How is Kim Delaney not suspicious of the phrase "arm transplant"? And is Brad Dourif really making a quarter-mil on those crappy paintings? Plus: The Jigsaw Killer, an O.G. feminist. Body Parts stars Jeff Fahey, Kim Delaney, Brad Dourif, Lindsay Duncan and Zakes Mokae; directed by Eric Red. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Chris Gavin. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes.

Dead is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicter Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies?

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative. Put the fucking looser in the band. But an excellent day. for an exit. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in for the second week of our Halloween spooktacular 2013. This week we're kicking off the discussion of Eric Reds, 1991. Confusingly terrible movie, Body Parts, starring the lawnmower man himself, Jeff Fahey. Although he will always be Captain Frank Lupidus from Lost. Oh, of course he is. course he is because you know why i don't want to remember how shitty the lawnmower man was

was he a guy he was in the first one too right or was he this he's in the i don't think he's in the second one oh no wow he stepped away he said no thanks to lawnmower they lost him and pierce brosnin i believe well of course you're going to lose pierce brosznan but yeah i bet you for the producers losing jeffay he was a bit of a surprise although i've never seen it that must be a testament to how terrible the second lawnmower man reviews the second one you like uh I've seen on, like, a battered VHS that I found in some store somewhere. It is fucking atrocious. I think that's how that movie came out of the Chinese factory that was making them as battered VHS tapes.

I have a quick impression of the noise that Pierce Brosden's neighbor heard when Pierce Broson got the script of Law and Myer Man, too. Okay. Ha! Just that. Just that. Just a haughty Welsh ha. Yeah, that figures. precisely i think it's like beyond cyber dome or some bullshit like that i really hope it's beyond cyber dome it's either that or pleasures of the e flesh possibly uh so body parts speaking of

flesh yeah i mean this is a cool like so last week we did a a franchise it's your it's your slasher getting a lot of check marks on on the on the old we hate movies horror list uh-huh this week we're taking a turn into body heart town which is it's a creepy villa is what body horror is. Yeah, it's a weird place that I wouldn't want to be registered to vote in, wouldn't want to own property in body horror town, but it is an interesting place to visit unless you go down Body Parts Boulevard. I mean, because this movie, in a nutshell, then we can sort of expand outside of the nutshell, but the nutshell is, dude loses his arm in a car crash, gets an arm transplant. Transplant turns out to be from a

dude who was executed on death row killed a bunch of people the arm starts making them have crazy visions that's the summary of the movie it explodes from there uh but yeah let's get into it but i mean the problem with body horror to me is that it's it's such uh you're the this or this and it's either you're david kronenberg one of the best you know filmmakers currently working perhaps ever uh-huh and on the other side is trauma yeah that's kind of where you're at and like there's a few of them like this that just hit in the middle spot but it's usually either side of that

and like you always want to be on the Kronenberg's side but God help you if you ever get to the other side that's the wrong side of the tracks of the Body Haravila Yeah so I mean are you going to say something to see? Oh no but yeah and I know I've ragged on trauma a lot on this show

and news flash I still think it's fucking terrible but you know there is something to be said for shooting yourself right down the middle which is totally fine and this movie had the chance to be there it had the chance to be right down the middle and it's not that because of you know the crazy paths that it goes down does it make it a trauma movie it's still way way way way way way better than a drama movie sure but it's just like you know here's here's here's body horrorville you know and and it's mayor is the fucking stupidest person on the planet that's a living hemroy like that bad Milo movie

Oh my God Would Dead Alive be considered body horror? It's kind of... It's a zombie movie for sure But you know... I mean I think I would put it in there That's a lot of like rotting There's a lot of like...

That dude's face falls off In the soup and he eats it Yeah Man is he lucky Lord of the Rings came around I love Peter Jackson I fucking hate that movie I'm sure that's gonna get a whole bunch of remarks to me on Twitter and I'm sorry

horror fans I just can't I cannot watch that movie and be entertained I will say that of all of the kinds of horror movies you yourself can find yourself in body horror is the one I would if I had a choice I don't want to be in a body horror movie I mean I'll be the friend that goes ew like in a body

horror movie but the subject of no thank you I rather just get fucking now wait a second so you're saying like somebody sees we are strangers at a film festival and is like, Stephen, I want you from my body. Or are you saying, if you Steve Sadek, in the real world, found yourself in the

plot of horror movie. If it befell me, I would Okay, so you would wear a prosthetic vagina on your stomach should the case ever come up. Write that movie. Right it. Well, they did. That's video. But so you would take the role, but in real life, you would

prefer to not find yourself in a body. Again, I could be the friend. Oh, that looks bad. That looks worse than You're the guy whose only line is you should get that checked out. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's almost a universal feeling.

I don't think anybody wants to find themselves in a body whore. I don't want to wake up with a vagina out of my stomach. No, absolutely not. Lips on my head? No, I don't need it. It's disgusting. I'd rather be in a really obtuse, complicated saw-like contraption where my balls get whatever

and then this, there's a pile of sand that's going to cause medictive, you know, whatever. You would last six seconds in a saw-like plot. Well, exactly. I'd be the asshole that accidentally breaks his neck before the contraption completes. And he's like, ah, fuck. All he had to do was pull this pin.

What an idiot. What it would really interesting, but that idiot fell. Stayed up all night, setting up this contraption. He fucked it up. Wasted all my fucking time. I missed the new madman. This is bullshit. Oh, man.

A put-out jigsaw? That's fantastic. A put-out jigsaw, that's a huge Madman fan, by the way. You want to play a game, Don? You play a game with your family's happiness every week. No, you're not supposed to like him. He's an asshole. Don't you get it? You're not supposed to like him. Who the fuck cheers for this man?

I'm the only feminist in the room. I'm the one. So Jeff Fahey, in the movie Body Parts that we've assigned ourselves to talk about today. He is a criminal psychiatrist of some kind. He sometimes likes to lecture at an unnamed university. Sometimes he interviews this one dude on death row. Sometimes he likes to write in his journal. Man, oh man, this journal writing.

Can we talk about this for a second? So part of this, it's not even like the frame. gaming device of the movie it's kind of just whenever eric the red decided to put it in his movie you know jeff hay he's just fucking scratching away at this journal i'm almost positive that there's more voiceover of this journal than he actually speaks in the movie i'm sure he it happens so often and it just dulls the whole thing what's terrible about this voiceover also is that it's not necessarily always expository talking it's a lot of him just like Man, oh man, I sure am hot today. It's, oh, it's been a warm winter. So it's like, if you're going to do that, you have to at least please relay information to me.

I was thinking about getting the ladder out to put up the Christmas lights today. But then I was thinking about evil and then evil took over my entire brain. And now the wife's yelling at me. And maybe now I should be making the pot roast. Oh, I'm supposed to get toilet paper on my way home. That's one of the things, or paper towels. It's garbage bags. Oh, garbage bags.

you're right uh so so yeah one of these days he's going off to uh lecture at school or interview a serial killer or whatever something yeah whatever before we get this i would do want to paint the picture can we talk about jeff a's haircut in this movie okay yeah it's not a good haircut it's one of like you got your 90s mullet which is fine it's 1991 we're still we haven't we haven't overturned that that wall hasn't fallen yet the mullet wall hasn't exactly collapsed yet yeah for an example. Look at Jeff Fahey's son in this movie. Holy shit. He looks like every pre-1994

male cast member of a Nickelodeon show. I'm looking at you Bobby Budnick. Oh man, that fucking Bud Nick Mullet is just the worst of them all. And that's what the, this is a Bud Nick mullet. But he's in our, the kid is from Are You Fray of the Dark? Oh, are you

serious? Yeah, he is one of the kids. Speaking of classic Nickelodeon programming. But he has got what I like to call the backfire mullet where it's You know, it's going, the top. You're talking about Jeff Fahue specifically. Okay. You got your short top, and then it goes back, and it's like a car just blew out its back tire.

It's kind of like what Jeff Daniels and dumb and dumber, but not really. Like, I don't know why he's definitely putting gel in there and scrunched it out. It sort of looks like an unfinished haircut also. It's like he woke up one day and was like, man, oh man, I do not want this mullet. And then he went to the barber, and the barber, like, took care of the front of it. And then the barber looked at his watch and was like, well, you'll have to come back tomorrow and closed up the shop and Jeff Fahey was out in the cold like, well, now I got this fucking car crash mullet here. This is terrible. Well, I mean, he clearly has put a comb to swipe it to one side.

Yeah. But he doesn't have the moose to keep it there. So whenever he gets a little sweaty, which it turns out it's a lot in this movie, it looks like garbage. Because he's wearing so many mock fucking turtlenecks. You want to talk about a wasted 90s time. I want to get a look at this guy's closet because I have a feeling there's quite a few mock turtlenecks going on here. Oh, there's a bucket of them, I think. So Jeff Fahey gets in his car and gets in one of the top four worst car accidents in history.

Like, this is fantastic. What a fantastic car accident. I mean, for movie magic-wise. Like, I mean, it's a tragedy if this were to happen in real life. But he, I mean, and this, there's a lot of similarities here to, One of our favorite movies, one of our earliest films, Sir Michael Cain's The Hand. Mm-hmm. And, I mean, Michael Cain just gets his hand footballed off his head, his body.

Right. But, I mean, Jeff Faye, he is dead at the end of this car accident. There's no way the worst thing that happens to him is he loses the arm. I'm going to say this, and you're going to have to imagine it. But somehow, he goes through the windshield of his car and bounces off the top of the trunk of the car that hit him in front it's insanity how would that ever happen this is by the way after so he's riding along and he notices the car in front of him has a loose back tire and he's just like well this isn't gonna be good and it falls off he comes to a screeching hop behind this guy

and then they get rammed by a fucking semi he goes through the windshield and i guess like he loses the arm because he puts his arms out in front of himself to shield his face which come on he barely has a scratch on that head like this dude's dead but yeah through the windshield off the hood of the car in front of him and then like up into the air and then down on the street

yeah right the worst thing that happens to you is you're losing an arm that truck wins fatality that's how that works that truck Reb Brown whatever the fuck his name is driving that truck wins fatality well yeah I mean if

the only real problem you have after this is that you need a new arm. Frankly, I'd start believing in God. That's a great problem to have after that kind of a car accident. Am I the only one who the first time watched this, when you see that little, the tire

going loose, anybody else was like, is this a medium movie? Do you think like someone was mentally taking that tire off? Well, no, like he was like, I see my whole few. This is what's going to happen. Oh. Because like, if I saw something like that, I'd be like, okay, I'm going to

Slow down a little bit. Get away from this car a little bit. Can I get this next lane? Thank you, sir. Yeah, totally. Just pull over it. Like, oh, that's going to be bad for that guy. I'll wait back here.

Yeah, exactly. Why do you keep driving? I guess it's because he's using his tape record. I don't know the situation he has here with his secretary. Yeah, this is very confusing. He doesn't want to talk to this woman, so he leaves her little recorded tapes, and then she has to listen to her tasks for the day. Because he's like, now when I get to the office,

I need you to do the following things for me. pick up garbage bag like all this shit and I'm just like why don't you why don't you just talk to this person now Margie

if you're listening to this I've been in a horrible car accident maybe that's what it is he records these things in case he's in a horrible car accident he's just a little paranoid you think

maybe just a little bit that write a note about the car man that tire looks not right but anyway don't write that down Margie anyway got to make sure that my lectures that guy is really doing something

with that tie. There's a lot of smoke coming out of that hood. How did that pass a health and safety inspection? What did that truck driver sit on attack? What's his problem? Anyway. Oh, no, I'm dead. So we cut to the hospital.

And Kim Delaney, the loving wife, is approached by Dame Lindsay Duncan, by the way. Who is fantastic in the weekend with Jim Broadbent coming out soon. And she's also the mother in about time. Oh, is she really? I'm a big year for her. She plays some kind of Duchess in the Hollow Crown, Richard II, which is excellent. Good Patrick Stewarding.

Oh, yeah. That is some intense Patrick Stewarding. I caught a couple of minutes of that the other day. Yeah, you want to gobble that up. You want to get up as much... I honestly think Patrick Stewart has 50 years left on this earth, but I'm going to be paying attention to a lot of it. Just in case he doesn't have 50 years left on this earth. It's funny because Patrick Stewart has a...

He doesn't say anything yet, but... I'm a huge fan of the new Tinker-Taylor Soldier Spy. Yep. And the only reason I watched the original, like, four and a half hour version with Alleganis is because Patrick Stewart plays Carla in it. Oh, really? And he doesn't say a single word. It's just one scene.

Oh, that's nice. And he's just sitting there with fucking Alec Guinness being like, don't you want to talk to me, motherfucker? Or like, it's just like, that's your Alec Guinness? That's as good as my Alec Gens is going to get. That's fair. Don't you want to talk to me, motherfucker? There you go.

Oh, they're right. I also appreciated one last Patrick Stewart performance in the now famous YouTube video High in a Treehouse with my 30-year-old wife talking about double takes. Have you seen this? I still haven't done it. I need to. Oh, I need to talk about the Quintuple take. It is the best work he's done in quite some time.

Richard II be damned. Patrick Stewart stars in Stoned in a Treehouse is fucking fantastic. Body parts. So Kim, uh, Lindsay Duggan comes up to Kim Delaney's like, look, I've got this, you know, guess what? Good news is somehow I pieced your husband back together, except for this one arm. Yeah, I mean, it was really bad, so I did a great job. We got a lot of shovels out there, and we got him back.

And good news is he's alive. Ben, is he's missing his right arm. You know, you can't win them all, right? And, you know, Kim Delaney's pretty upset about that, rightfully. So, yeah, of course. But I've got this experimental new procedure if you'll just sign on this a da-da-da-da-da-dotted line. And I believe that Lindsay Duncan says something about we have a donor. Yeah.

And my first thing was like, all right, Kim Delaney, just think about that for a second. I know you want your husband to be all in one piece and whatnot, but people donate things like eyes and brains and hearts and livers and kidneys and lungs. Organs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Organs. Organs. Not limbs.

No, no. Organs. Nope. But not sign anyway, Kim Delaney. Fuck it. You just take my arm. What? Hey, you know what?

I'll be dead. Take anything you want. That's fine with me. You know what? If you could just leave my Johnson for the afterlife, I can't imagine eternity without fucking. I mean, if you want my numbs skull, you can go right. Hey, have it. Interesting.

You should say that, Chris. You know, Jeff Faye, you know, he doesn't, you know, clearly he's not his right mind to be signing any papers. He's missing an arm anyway. To boot. so you know he's missing his signature arm and I think like

the hand has Michael Cainty is a noted comic book artist that's how he makes his bread Jeff Fahey's just a criminal psychologist like what what's the problem if anything

that totally adds to your mystique if the following happens you are recruited to the FBI to help out on some crazy profiling case and in walks this dude that looks like Jeff Fahey with a fucking explosion

an oops mullet, duster, and one arm is missing. He's the only guy Mulder will trust. You would instantly become Fox Mulder's only confidant. So he misses out on that opportunity. Because his dumb wife

signs of papers. And he's just in this operation room, like, oh man, is they going to give me a haircut? No? And there's this weird like faceoff setup where there's a computer involved and like there's this guy we don't know who he is but since we read the

we read the back of the box we know he's a serial killer and you know we're about you know Lindsay Duncan takes out the buzz saw to amput it which we think is the arm and then she just removes this dude's head and it's like it's golden

there it goes and what's great is you mentioned there's a computer here this is as close as we could come to a computer in 1991 it's just a TV with a little cartoon body on it and when she pops that head off like the little simulation is like boop the head just comes off i was like why do you need this i understand what's happening here i don't need a tv to tell me i forget what video game it is but there's some video game where and this is exactly what i thought about where if you die like your little

your little like soul guy goes up the screen and it looks a lot like that yeah that had to do it goes on. Yeah, that happened in a couple of old Nintendo games, I feel. Bill, there's nothing to worry about everything is just fine. So the head comes off and then, like, they have the surgery, and then we cut to

what's basically like a Jeff Fahey working out this arm montage. Like, he's got a train to get back in shape. And of course, it's like a gnarly. He's got, like, scars and shit all up. Which is weird. The way these scars were placed, I was like, didn't you just cut this off and like put it on i mean i don't know much about you know fictitious arm

transplants he looks like he had an adamantium skeleton put in it's really there's all sorts of surgical scars up and down this arm which doesn't make a lot of sense no and what i do appreciate about this movie is they do because usually if it would really suck if they're like i got a brand new arm it looks a lot like my left arm but it's actually you know what i mean like they do have like every time they cut to it it's obviously another actor's hand which I appreciate. Yeah, yeah, that worked out okay. But then I mean, once you see Jeff Fahey using it, it's just

Jeff Fahey's hand with like crap all over it. Yeah. You know, at one point he's got like a really bad patch of like fake skin and it's just, I don't know if this was one of those movies that wasn't meant for it like to be put on DVD or what. Yeah. But I was like, why does he have that

Band-Aid on his arm still? It's been months. Oh, that's supposed to be a weird scar. It looks like paper mache. Okay, Jeff. Right and early in the morning. put putty you up putty your arm up a bit here did Duncan have to put some chicken skin on there just in case

we had to even some of this out for you sir sorry it's a chicken skin from KFC delicious really you have some original recipe on your bicep the neighborhood boys start licking your arm it's just natural it's normal you'll be popular with all the dogs and cats

so in what should take about four and a half years he's released from the hospital in about two It looks like two and a half weeks. I think, to be fair to the movie, they do say something about he's been gone for four months. Okay, that's good. Because when he goes back to teaching, he's like, well, it's been four months since I've been lecturing you on evil. Where did we leave off on evil?

He is clearly teaching an evil of man 101 class. Well, that's, and I mean, it links to the secretary issue because, like, I have no concept of what, why would you allow a person? Okay, so he's a criminal psychiatrist. all he's ever talking about is demons and evil and like it's you never hear him say like he the word cerebellum isn't used in this movie not once i don't know much about brains but i know a whole lot about the soul thanks a lot doctor i'll be dropping your course one thing that really stood out to me like when he comes home and kim delaney is like oh my god you're home here's our two shitty kids that we have and they're both like so can we see see it or what and she's like you know let's let daddy go to sleep and he's like no that's okay let's just get this over with and he pulls it up and it's just like he doesn't even pull it up to the chicken skin part yeah it's just like a couple of wrist scars and they're like eh and then like

the daughter buries her face and kim delaney's fucking arm have some fucking composure kids and also kim delaney be like look let me just sit you two down dad's coming home today we're all excited about dad right he's got a weirdo arm i i know it's gonna be weird yep you're just gonna have to get used to it like hey let's let's just sit down and watch the hand really quickly get you get you warmed up for what might be happening in this house oh boy i love oliver stone movies uh yeah he has to come home and he's like now kids you're uh probably wondering where i've been for four months what the fuck you didn't say anything they didn't come to visit this is kim delaney's job dad's in the trying to learn how to fucking, you know, give a thumbs up, apparently.

And mom has to be like, look, this is what's going on. Yeah, cover up your affair with the neighbor person and prepare your children. Because the girl, my favorite part of this whole scene is the girl, like, after she, like, is scared of the arm, is like, I still love you, daddy. Like, it just kind of forced, like, uh. Thanks a lot. What luck. My children still love me. With an arm transplant.

Daddy, can you hug me with your left? Just your left. High five with the left arm. There's a great moment in the rehab where it's like the first sign that we see something might not be quite right. And he's like trying to like pull on this weight set thing. And then his arm like totally jerks in another direction. And he's freaked out by it. And he turns to this nurse who's standing there.

And he's like, did you see that? And she's just like, yeah. not going to report it though yeah yeah i did i saw it just keep going just whatever the movies movies running late come on keep pulling on this thing i know it's only 87 minutes but it's gonna feel like three hours well that's another weird thing is that we don't really know like how widespread information of this surgery is out there because when jeffahey gets out of the hospital there's like a press pool waiting for him it's like when the jubes got cut loose.

That's the kind of crowd we're talking about. I'm like, yeah, you're right. Where did all these people here? Also, who cares? I mean, yeah, all right, it's an arm transplant. It's a big deal, I guess. But that's my point is that it would be a huge deal. You have been hearing about it for you.

The okays you would have to get to be able to do this surgery. I kind of understand that the press pool is there, but it makes a lot of the shit that we'll get to in a minute seem insanely implausible. But wouldn't it make sense, though? Like, if this happened, it's a big story when it happens. Yeah. And then the day he gets out of the hospital, it's like the last minute of the hour-long news broadcast is like, hey, arm transplant guy went home today. See you tomorrow, everybody.

He went home and fingered his wife. Whoops. Which is the third thing he does when he gets home. It's literally, it is. Go home to show your kids your freakish arm. throw the football around with your son and then finger Kim Delaney and then have dinner

and then write in your journal again that fucking journal I don't know what it is about we'll call it digital sex sure fingering I don't know what it is about it but like it's such a normal part of the part and parcel of sexual encounters but once I see it on screen I'm like

whoa like it's just so because they just pretend it never happens in movies And when it, like, he's just, like, kind of rubbing her shoulder and he's, like, rubbing her butt. I'm like, we're not going to, oh, oh, whoa. And she, like, grabs the headboard, like, this is my digital stimulation position or whatever. You know, and I'm like, wow, this is, this is a fingering scene in this shitty horror movie that's barely a horror movie. And I kind of feel like there's somebody at the MPAA that has, like, you know, there's, there's, you're only allowed so many seconds of fingering before it becomes NC17. Yeah, if you go over.

the allotted amount of seconds, you either have to cut it or live with that NC17. I think it's a solid eight. Eight seconds of fingering or implied fingering. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's implied. I mean, you don't, obviously, it's implied. I mean, Kim Delaney's a respected actress. Yeah, of digital effects.

Yeah, a sheet. But you think there's like a dude, like, we'll call him Alan Key. censorship and he's like sitting at the office at the NBA with a stopwatch and he's like oh get ready here's a fingering scene I'm up click and he's like watching like all right hurry it up Fahey that NC 17 is going to be calling your name soon you may be rounding third but you're out I never got the bases I'm not sure if that was correct that's correct Oh, good. All right, there you go.

You'd make it in a bed, finger and a girl. Yeah, that's third base. Chris Cabin approved. The dumbest thing about this movie is he goes back. Wow, that's, you're about to really say something here then. He goes back to his normal routines. You know, he's talking everybody about evil. He talks to the serial, this other guy on Death Row.

And the Death Row, this is when we realized something might be wrong. The Thetrow goes, hey, where'd you get that tattoo? And he looks at it. He's like, like, he hasn't looked at this tattoo before. on this new arm like that's and he's like oh really and he's like let me investigate what this might mean this tattoo that i have on my new arm that i've just pleasureed my wife with and it's it's it's it's a word too i don't remember what the word is but a striker striker yeah and he's like that's only given to people who are on death row what kind of doctor are you kind of a thing

and you're right though it's just a word on your arm like you would notice it immediately way before the fingering before i go into that bedroom i want to know how What all my tattoos stand for? Was I in a Russian prison? What is going on with this arm transplant? Ah. He, he, he finger, sorry, incorrect. He gets his fingerprints taken.

There you go. And, you know, and he finds out that he's a serial, it's a serial killer's arm. To me, that's kind of a bonus. It's kind of like having John Boyd's old car. But, you know, Jeff Faye, he's a real prig. about it he is he's really so disturbed about it which i mean i don't i can't say that i wouldn't be but i definitely wouldn't be like morally opposed to it i'd be like look i can i can still write my name you know i have this arm this is fantastic but this is another this goes back to

what i saw about earlier with it not making sense exactly how much press this thing got your this is a new thing like the fact that you have a serial killer's arm this was just sprung on you. Lawsuit City for Lindsay Duncan. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I understand like, A, it's a problem for not telling Kim Delaney, guess what, guess what, it's a serial killer. That's a big problem, number one. But like, not telling

Jeff Fahey, like, you know, kind of, hey, guess what, but you're welcome, but it's a serial killer's arm. I guess so, but like, outside of the world of this movie where Lindsay Duncan will come to find out has some more sinister plans and whatnot that really don't make any sense but so

presume that this happened by a real doctor and not a Hollywood mad scientist sure who cares yeah oh no I mean what does it matter like it would I mean I think somebody would have quite a lot to say about it if you're using fucking

death row inmates to just butcher them and like put them they make you swab the fucking arm of alcohol before you fucking get the injection but it's not like they killed this dude for the purposes of the experiment he was executed on death row by the prison. But they make a whole big deal later in this movie with the fucking detective character, which we'll get to.

This might be the most incompetent police officer. We hate movies history. But he does the old, like, when Jeff Hayes is like, how did this happen? How did this ever, the serial killer? And he's like, it's all very hazy. But the thing is, he had a bad lawyer. Yeah, that's it. And I'm like, what?

Really? That's it? Save up, you future Dombers. You don't want. Go in that system without a good lawyer. No, you do not want to go to the route of public defense. I don't. I think, I just think it's just a little bit much.

And also, it's not like she's like, it would make more sense if she was like just a straight up mad scientist. Like she works in like an underground place. She's got some shitty old. This is a major hospital. Yeah, which also brings to the point like how is this whole thing being carried out? Because I mean, whatever, we can just get into it. It doesn't matter. She's a mad scientist

And she's got all these dreams About doing all sorts of crazy fucking transplants And whatnot And like you're right She's working at a major medical center This movie vaguely takes place In the state of New York Which I can't stand

When it's not a thing where like In 7 they just intentionally don't say What it is This is just like We're a shitty movie And we can't be bothered to set up Where this movie takes place Outside of there's a close up

Right before that hilariously heinous car accident Of a New York license place. Yeah. And I'm like, all right. Well, we got a huge fucking state here, but I guess somewhere in this state, this movie takes place. Upstate Vancouver. I mean, New York. And I mean, you know, noted feminist jigsaw appreciates that there is a female mad scientist, not many of those. And I mean, actually, if Lindsay, Lindsay Duncan only kind of has the last, she's in like five scenes. She's really good. she's the only one in commanding the British Empire in this fucking gas

and you know give her more to do and because a lot of her motivations would be great if I knew what they were and you just don't and the only time like she's at the beginning when the operation happens she's at the end

and then she's in the middle when he goes and he's like listen doc I'm having all these crazy visions with this arm I want you to cut it off and she's like you fucking pussy like she pussies him out of the office she's like she's like saying shit like uh like even with

a gun to my head i wouldn't cut this arm off why don't you grow up and just deal with it i mean that's talk to the medical board like that's my whole my she she is not the end-all be-all in this situation no she's the only game in town that she made up this whole operation so like it's kind of it because it's a whole like the thing that kim delaney side the the contract, it's like a devil and Daniel Johnston thing. It's... I would have looked at that paperwork a lot closely. I would have appreciated if filmmaker

Eric the Red had put, you know, a close-up on this document that was presumably glowing. We didn't see her sign it at any point. The one thing about like he's like, so he's basically, he was like, oh my God, I'm becoming evil because my arm's evil and he goes up to her, he's yelling out of it, take the arm off my body.

She, I mean, she has a valid case. She doesn't say it, but like, you can't just be lopping arms off people once that's buyer we like you can die during that surgery if i just chuck this thing off yeah it's kind of just like oh what's that you don't like it well tough turkey man i mean what do you want for me here jeffahy he stars at tough turkey uh we should also note by the way so this fella this charles fletcher that's been executed he was given the chair i believe they say um there's been a couple other recipients of his uh his uh limbs here uh so we

We've got the left arm goes to noted character actor and one of my personal favorites, Sir Brad Duref. He's taking time out from not voicing Chuckie the doll for once. I think this is right before three. Right before Childs Play 3. Childs Play 3, I think, is like 93 or 92, so it's right before it. That Childs Play 3 where that fat kid falls on a grenade, by the way.

Stay tuned. Maybe next spookacular. So he gets that. And then the dude who played the state trooper on Justified. for a couple seasons. Oh, Peter Mernick. Yeah, he gets both of the legs. He's also an Armageddon. He's one of the astronauts in Armageddon.

Oh, is he really? Ooh. Yeah, he's a good character actor, too. So they have the other limbs. And so Jeff Faye, he steals the medical charts, and like he sees the dude with the legs, like, kind of struggling,

like trying to walk on some parallel bars kind of a thing. And he steals the charts to find out information on these guys. And what's amazing, in what has to really boil Jeff Fahey's clams here, man, Brad Dureff is living it up with this new arm. He's having a great time with this new arm. He's like, my life has never been better. Like, you know what I mean?

I could open cans easier. He is a painter who they don't say how he lost his arm. But with this new arm, he's inspired because he's also seeing all the crazy visions that Jeff Fahey, they're basically having them, like they're sharing the memories of what this dude saw when he murdered people, I guess. But one of the images, it's hilarious, because a lot of the images are just people like screaming, but then there's just this weird fucking image of like a plastic skull you'd buy at CVS, splattered with blood.

And they're like, nightmare. Well, that was when the serial killer was on Oz's production of Macbeth. Or is it Hamlet? No, they do Macbeth. Do they do Macbeth? Yeah. Which one's the skull, though? in Shakespeare. That's Hamlet.

You're getting Hamlet. I'm mixing up which one they did on Oz. They did Macbeth on Oz. When the Schillinger gets killed. Oh yeah, that's the end. Spoiler alert for a 12 year old series. But yeah, I mean, whatever. It's not really clear what it is they're supposed to.

Like, if you're experiencing, why is it just like the killing memories? Why is it like this dude, home alone making soup in a fucking tank top? You know what I mean? It kind of be funny if it was like the being John Malkovich things and you just like, kind of, whoop. But so he's having all these visions, and he says, like, listen, I used to be this

dude who painted shitty Cape Cod landscapes, and I sold them to hotel chains. Now I'm doing all this crazy shit, and my agent made me $250,000. That's a lot of 1991 money. It really is. Look, I got Francis Bacon's left arm, and we just went to town with it. I don't understand. I mean, like, it's a movie thing, and you just kind of have to deal with it. And it's kind of the same thing you'll get in books when, like, they'll be like,

somebody's trying to exhibit someone as a great whatever. And it's not, and they have to like, oh, he's a great painter. And they, there's just shitty paintings all over the play. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, man, this guy wrote the best book of the world. And it's just kind of like a not good, like, little excerpt of a book or like a bad musical song or whatever. It's always like, they made the, oh, man, it's the hottest song in America. That's a shitty song.

thank God the music and that thing you do is so fantastic it is right that movie would have been really unbelievable fountains away god bless him mm-hmm uh but yeah you're right these are just shitty paintings these are Halloween store paintings ghosts and goblins are all over this thing one's just a guy in a wife beater like just looking out that's the one $250,000 for that man and a wife be that's the one where he's supposed to be I guess he's looking at himself in the mirror because that's the dude. That's the serial killer. Yeah.

But anyway, so Brad Durf's like, listen, man, you just got to learn to roll with it. I'm making bank here. I'm on my way to my first million. Get the fuck out of my studio. Jeff Fah, he's having some trouble. He goes home and starts wrestling with his son. You know what I mean?

Just a good old-fashioned dad comes home and he's wrestling. And he's been a little pissy lately because he's got a brand new arm. And, you know, also, Steve, I don't know if you knows, but at this point in the movie, evil is infiltrating his body. Oh, yeah, because evil lives in the arrasy arms and legs.

That's where you'll find the evil centers of the brain. Well, evil spirits specifically. Yeah. Ghosts and goblins. Many of evil soul. Freddie Kruger is in your arm. Yeah, not so much your heart, but in your arms and legs. It's just so, so, you know, his son's wrestling with him, he goes off the top turnbuckle, gives him a, gives him a Randy Savage elbow, a nice hard knee.

And Fahey ain't having it. No, he is not. And it's a real quick. And it takes a really well-directed scene As somebody hitting their kid You're like, whoa, like I was Like almost as bad as when the finger went in there I was just like, hold on everybody

What is this movie? It's kind of like a Zengif Roundhouse Like the kid kind of goes flying a little bit He gets some air And let me tell you something Jeff Fahey No one's giving you a quarter of a million dollars To beat your kids You gotta learn how to channel this shit better man

And my favorite thing is while he's physically abusing his son, he verbally abusing his daughter, because his daughter, he's, at one point, he's shaving. Oh, yeah. And he, like, it's like Jim Carrey, like, squeezing the ketchup out of his chin. Like, he's shaving, and he gets a little cut, and he's like, fuck, God, damn it. And then the kid's like, can I help you? Get the fuck out of here. He doesn't, he's like, what the fuck are you looking at?

I was like, oh, my God. And then Kim Delaney comes in yelling at him. She comes in, and this is great, too. she's like you don't hit people and she slaps them in the face yeah it's like you're sending some really mixed messages to these kids but yeah this kid gets decked right in the fucking face and it's amazing he really does it's insane everybody's a fucking painter i'm sorry that you've got a problem with all this today i'm busy inspiration is on the flow the bluebird is on the wing and I got a captain.

I got it. I'm working on my first million here. Nice talking to you. So, Brad Durf's a painter. And then so this other dude, the guy from Justified, Jeff Fahey, he stalks him from the hospital to a YMCA where he's playing basketball. And this dude, there's something about the, like,

Lindsay Duncan says something about, like, you know, that arm can do whatever you feel you want it to do. do or whatever and I was like well that's vague but I think what this movie's kind of implying is like he just has to think it to believe it yeah because this dude they're like hey man you know are you sure you're okay to play basketball and he's like yeah

I'm fine I gotta get back out there so they're playing basketball and this dude hard lines it for the hoop and fucking shack attacks this thing it is a hardcore slam dunk and Jeff Faye he's just standing and the bleachers like Brad Duriff's a successful painter

this guy's dunkin basketballs I'm just hitting my kids got the short end of that stick and I mean like here's a thing you know you want to talk about press pools the guy that has two new fancy legs people are following him always playing basketball

today let's all go to the YMCA yeah totally that is your story not some dude got an arm and he's going to go back and talk to prisoners in college students why isn't Brad Duriff the fucking the new the guy with the new arm is now an art sensation it's like those people

People that, like, have a stroke and go into a coma or some shit, and then they wake up and they, like, speak a different language or all of a sudden can play piano like a master. That's Brad Duref. He's an amazing painter now. Where is the fucking newspaper? I kind of think Brad Doref's story that you don't get into is kind of very similar to Jared Lido's and Rook him for a Dream. Yeah. He shows up at some hospital in Florida, and Dylan Baker's like, mm-mm. Well, that's going to have to go. It's my weird Dylan Baker impression He's a weird guy

So he follows this dude He's still following him And then we see Because again Apparently Brad Durv's the luckiest man in the world We don't see him have any like Weird limb shit happen But this dude with his new legs

A shiny new pair of legs He's driving home from the Y After fucking kicking it shirts and skin style on the court And this foot The leg just jams down on the gas pedal And this dude's flying through the intersection. And Jeff Fahey, he, like, follows him. The guy's, like, finally pulls over, like,

I still got to break in these new legs, I guess. I mean, I dunked a basketball, but I guess driving is still a learning curve. Also, driving being a learning curve, he's not getting a car again anytime soon. That is a massive, horrific, traumatizing car accident. That's correct. Kim Delaney's given him rides to work for a really long time. Absolutely. He's going to be a bike enthusiast from here on out of cabs, if it's too far to cycle or if it's cold outside.

Yep. Yeah, that cab company's on speed dial for sure. Bus Pass. Jeff Fahey stars in Bus Pass. And so he's trying to explain, just like he did to Braddorf, he's like, you know, listen, aren't you having all these visions like I'm having? And he's like, no, man, I just dunked a basketball. Just see how cool that was?

He's like, God damn it. Why am I the only one hitting my kids? What? You got any kids? You're kicking any kids lately or what? Like, I don't know. Let me ask you. Have you found yourself just wandering in a, in a playground, just randomly kicking five-year-olds? Let me ask you if that's been happening.

So we get to what could have turned into a really wild sexual experience, which is the arm comes to life while Brad Durf is sleeping. And this is kind of almost straight out of the hand. Oh, yeah, sorry, Jeff Fahey, not Brad Durf. This is almost straight out of the hand, too. uh it's actually pretty much straight out of the hand uh the arm comes to life and starts strangling kim delaney while jeffay he's just like this arm is up to no good and she's like trying to wake him up like you are strangling me right now the weird thing is at first is like cut it out like it's like oh stop it oh you are so adventurous after this arm transplant um okay fine i'm ready for some diggy play

those busy fingers and so they get in a big fight and then it is it's not even like okay in the morning leave it's that night wake the kids up say goodbye and get your ass out of this house well smack at your son's

got to be three and a half strikes no matter what so he was on thin ice yeah and then attempted murder by strangling you know because there's two kinds of houses in this world houses where kids get hit often and houses where kids are never allowed to be hit.

Oh, yeah. And thankfully, Kim Delaney runs the right kind of house. Oh, absolutely. And it's a one, you get one and, and you've got six months to prove you're okay.

You choke me in bed, you are gone, mister. So he's like saying goodbye to these kids or whatever, and like the son's like, can I go with you? I would have been like, good, because remember that time

you punched me in the face? Yeah, exactly. Keep walking, loser. Like, I don't give a fuck. It'd be funny. if the daughter and Kim Delaney are saying goodbye and then the son at the very that comes in he's got a steak near his eye

all right Brad I get it I'm sorry so he goes to check into the Tom Waits Hotel like it's a real skid row kind of situation and he's a psychiatrist oh yeah you know you think you could afford I mean they got a nice ass house in the burbs in wherever the fuck New York

yeah you'd think it's at least like holiday in or above this is like the fucking meth hotel from breaking bed oh it's a by the hour hotel if i ever saw one i guess he's just really trying to drop off the grid or something i don't like i need to go to a place where it doesn't matter if i hurt somebody but speaking of just and i hate to go back for a minute here speaking about the kids and the sex there's an earlier scene right after the fingering escapade where they he stars in the fingering escapade the sexy sequel to

the Thomas Crown Affair penned by John La Cary You know what Jigsaw is definitely got to desubscribe to this show That's for sure Well there's just a bunch of pigs On that podcast

Want to play a game A game where everyone's equal Want to read Fear of Flying Anyway, so after the fingering escapade, the next cut, it's downstairs, Jeff Fahey, he's going out for the morning, and him and Kim Delaney, like, make out in front of these kids. Yeah. And you're expecting the big, ew, or whatever the fuck. Instead, there is an eerie laughing riot going on. Yeah.

Like, like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's doing it. Like, it's really weird. It's like we're seeing what we heard them. doing yesterday. It's the most unsettling point of the movie to me. Well, because it's weird, because he just walks off to work like, I did it. And then, like, she has to turn around and be like, what are you little perverts

laughing at? I got to deal with this till you go to school. That's unfortunate. It's a good thing he's a psychiatrist. Jesus. It's a good thing that you live in a house you don't get hit because I'd hit you right now, but that's unacceptable, so I won't. I don't care what your father says about hitting. So, yeah,

it's kind of my favorite idea ever, is everybody who's gotten transplants from the same body go hang out at the same bar? It's a weird twist on like a survivor's group kind of situation and it's clear like Jeff Fahey has called them all together like

my life is just straight up falling apart. Can we go to a seedy blues bar and just drink whiskey and talk about our shared limbs situation? First off drinks are on Brad Duraff. He's just fucking rolling in it. He's rolling in it apparently.

can't you go to a better bar? In that case, it's the same reason why you can't stay in a better hotel. This movie has no budget. He's got to go in all the shittiest place as possible. And he, I mean, we should also, we've teased this terrible detective. He's also

at this point beforehand talk to, like, as he's investigating with serial killer, he goes to the arresting officer who is this gentleman named Zix Morkai. I don't know what this accent is. It's an interesting act. It's a Caribbean accent. He's somewhere from the Caribbean, and he's the dude who owns the nightclub in

Vampire in Brooklyn. So we've dealt with his gentleman on this program before. I mean, he's been in, he's been in Waterworld. He played like some like Nigerian president or something in the West Wing. Oh, all right. He's been around, but like in this

I mean, it's just, you know, lieutenant exposition. And it's barely ex-I mean, this guy is a terrible police officer and I don't think this character knows what the movie's about. Nobody told I think he has to keep being like, wait, why did you come to my office again? Oh, you're the guy with the serial killer's arm.

Hang, let me get that file. Oh, these papers are just everywhere. Like, you just cannot get anything together. So anything he says, I'm like, all right, none of this matters. I either already knew it or it didn't make sense. Yep. So it's only important because now we're at the blues bar. We're having a good time.

And Brad Durf's being the voice, the reason, like, hey, baby, it's good times for everybody. Look at my new arm. Like, you know, they're all doing shots. Fancy legs is dancing, probably. Doing all sorts of jigs with those new legs is. And Jeff Faye's like, but, but seriously, you've never even hit any of your kids? Not even one of them. This is ridiculous.

They just don't give out money for what I'm doing. I'm in the wrong racket. And then in probably the biggest bit of bullshit in this movie, and that sounds unbelievable with what is still to come. this guy is like this bar fly down at the other end of the bar is like hey you're that guy from the news with the fake arm oh I know all about you

let's see it I'm like really this is that big of a story that this dude is recognized on the street now but it's not even like hey can I see it's like oh you're that motherfucker you that motherfucker got a new arm show me that fucking arm you motherfucker like it's just so like antagonizing

And he's so, he's like bitter about it. I didn't get a new arm. Fuck you. It's like, well, of course you didn't. You have two of them. I didn't get a new arm when they laid me off from the steel mill, you piece of shit. So he's like, show me. And Jeff Faye, he's like, no, you know, I am just not a circus side show.

I'm not going to show you anything. And he's like, I think you're going to show me this fucking arm or there's going to be trouble. It'd be great if Brad Durf and fancy legs are both like, hey, you know, hello I got the other arm and made millions of dollars with shitty paintings and he's signed to the NBA

I've got two legs and a pretty good jump shot to boot did you ever see a paraplegic do an alley you it's pretty cool you'll want to talk to me so you want to talk to that noted child

abuser that's fine none of my business and he's like yeah I'm gonna show me the fucking arm when he starts grabbing him and it's like really unrealistic and Fahey gets it like you think you know his kid giving him guffin he's ready to hit a man at this point oh yeah if if he'll do what he did to a kid his own kid oh a strange grown adult it's been 25 minutes he's been pitting it all up and he's just getting more and more frustrated because

he's not good at basketball he can't be creative he still just has a shit job as weird kids that laugh at him while he kisses his wife this dude has had it up to here with this shitty arm transplant he's been sleeping next to rats in that motel it's just bad news lindsay duncan's just like no fucking dice so he starts slugging this guy and then we were talking about this before we went on the air but what's really annoying in bar fight scenes and movies is when like the people collectively in the bar like hey you don't hit anybody in this bar and they all start like defending the thing and it's even worse in this situation because this guy is

alone at the end of the bar nobody's talking to him and they're like hey they're hitting drunk Charlie let's get him the bar mascot maybe yeah nobody hits drunk Charlie but us and like everybody starts trying to beat this shit out of him and he is

one arm power glove in these people it's fucking great and it's amazing because both Brad Durif and fancy legs are both just like yeah we're not going to get involved like we're with you but we're not that with you look i'm a famous painter now and fancy legs is about to go play over in europe

croatia's always the first step to the bulls we can't get involved in this but it doesn't matter because he's like turning this biker's face into hamburger and he's beating everybody up and then this is great too like the pacifist bartender in this movie like and this is a shitty bar and this bartender's like hello police department this is johnny down at mo's bar there's a fight here can You get down here. All right, coward. Like, it's a bar, handling yourself. Yeah, totally.

Don't you have a fucking cooler on hand to figure this out? And then as if they were probably in the same fucking bar because a minute later, Zakes Morkai and these guys funnel in for a bar fight. And what did he? Zakes Morkai, all of, he's arresting serial killers and breaking a bar fight? Exactly. He's a homicide detective who got, like, he drew the shorts drawn.

He's got to do bar fight. patrol tonight. It makes no sense. And the best part about this is like fancy legs is like, all right, all right. It's enough Fahey. The cops are here. And Fahey's, it is, you know, murderous rage and takes a swipe of Fancy Legs and

Fancy Legs says, uh-uh. I've got evil evil appendages too. And sidekicks this dude. And it's amazing. It's like Chuck Norris going through a tree. This kick is so great. And it barely phases Fahey. And I was like,

they becoming superheroes? Like, what is happening? I don't understand why he's so, like, these limbs would be very weak. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's the thing. Like, if you get an arm transplant, which happens, I'm pretty sure, like, you're not, you're definitely not writing with it. It's not a thing where, like, you know, you're doing pull-ups, you know, you're just

kind of, you have an arm to maybe move around that it's looks. It's a, you know, Bob Dole's got this, or Bob Dole can run for office. It's just my fucking dead arm. What you call a suit filler? It's mostly for sure. show for like a couple years at least. Yeah, exactly. Let's remember her.

It is ostensibly dead meat. Yes. Hanging off your body dead meat. I mean, I guess you're supposed to believe that they've attached the tendons and everything and somehow it still connects to your brain and you can move it. I don't know. I mean, I know that we're getting there. These things are happening.

We are doing some arm transplants here and there. But I'm pretty sure. And, you know, bring me some studies. but I don't think you're punching people, finger in your wife, hitting your kids. No, this is like a dominant hand now. This is if they cut up the limbs of Calell himself. Yes.

And tagged them on, you know, tag them on to people, tied them on, side them on, whatever. Like, fine. Okay, then maybe you can have a super punch and a super kick. Maybe. Maybe.

It still doesn't explain the painting. It's not like your fucking Teenage Muti Ninja Turtle doll where you can just snap off the fucking arm Shub it back in. You can't do that. Yeah, the socket isn't just a plug-and-play hole. That's not how that works. And now I invite everyone to get a beer.

Yeah, you're right. Let's just give everybody a minute here. Because, like, oh, this sounds like a wacky. We Hate Movies movie. And, like, you're right. It is so far. Yeah, there's been crazy fingering, hitting kids. Brad Durf as a successful painter.

All sorts of weird stuff we like talking about. This is the weirdest third act. that's ever happened to a movie. It's so amazing. It's insane. And it comes at an absolutely nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. And this was another case of Andrew Jupin Presents.

I haven't seen this until I had to watch it for the show. And so far we talked about like, yeah, it's kind of crazy, but it's like, whatever. And I'm sitting there watching it and I was like, oh, no, they did it again. There's nothing to this. All of those we hate movies, boys, I'll have their heads. until the third act of this movie starts. Because what you think it's going to be is that Jeff, that the arm is going to start actually killing people.

That would be where you would logically think this is going. Because we all know everybody's seen the hand. We've all seen the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror that we're guessing this comes from. You know, let me know if there's an outer limits out there that covers this also or a night gallery where this happens. I'm pretty sure it's not a Twilight Zone. It could have been a tales from the crypt. It might have been a tales from a crypt that the Simpsons got this from, but when Homer gets snakes, hair transplanted on, and so on.

He's going to start murdering people and what have you, and it's going to be a big standoff and it's going to be him versus Kim Delaney, and she's going to have to cut his arm off or something. That's a fine movie. You know, the kid shoots him in the face. That's for punching me. Whatever. That's a fine body parts movie.

Right. Fancy Legs is going up to his apartment, whistling a jaunty tune. now almost not as crazy as what we're about to talk about here but so fancy legs has had the following evening he gets a phone call from this guy who keeps calling him about this fucking evil armed transplant it's like all right i'll go out to beers with this guy they're drinking in this blues bar they're doing multiple shots of whiskey it's a hard living night he had to power kick his friend like you know it's really bad between going home from the bar between the bar and then the house fancy legs goes grocery shopping he's out of bisquick what do you want i get it's just so ridiculous though you're out drinking in the middle of the night and then you're like oh the grocery store is still open i have a huge list of shit i need to get because he's walking up these stairs with this huge bag of groceries and i was like you were just out pounding whiskey also by the way it seems like fancy legs lives in an elevatorless building did he did he move after he got the new legs like this is

not the room, this is not the house for a paraplegia. Well, it's not, I think it's the thing where he was like, oh, these new legs, see you later. Handicap Parking's face. Three story, walk up, here I come. Yeah, because there's some, he, we do get a little bit of his back story. Like, he was

he lost his legs like at work or something. Yeah, but it was like six months or six years ago or some crazy shit like that. It's been a while. Right, right, right. It wasn't just an immediate transplant. No, no. He's been waiting on the leg transplant

list for a while. So he's coming home with these groceries and this movie goes fucking crazy. Basically somebody's in the house with him and like he gets we cut to Jeff Fahey he calls Jeff Fahey like I think something's going on. You might have been right

about this crazy evil shit going on. I love when he calls Jeff Fahey because keep in mind everybody he's at the Roach Motel at this point. So one Fancy Legs has this phone number to this hotel room, okay? The other thing is Jeff Fahey has brought an answering machine to this hotel.

Okay? Not only that. On this answering machine, he's recorded like a happy go-lucky message. It's like kind of smart. It's kind of smart. It's the smart ass thing where he's like, hi, you reach Jeff Fahey. I'm in exile right now because my wife kicked me out of the

house because I tried to strangler, yelled at my daughter and punched my kid in the face. Leave a message. Hopefully I'm checked out by the time I get it. I was like, what the fuck? Who takes this much? time to record an answering machine message while you're staying in a hotel. This is Bill Croshank in exile.

Current location, the Hillcrest Motel. Well enough about me, how are you doing? Leave a message at the beep and tell me all about it. Believe it or not, I've been kicked out of my house. Maybe I'll kill the dog next week. Try to strangle my wife in her sleep. I beat my son, now I'm out on my ass. I'm talking to the podcast.

police. Believe it or not, I'm in jail. So he calls. And it's like, oh, you know what? You should come over here because I think, oh, man, that isn't good. And Fahey's trying to sleep it off. And he's like, wait, what? And he gets there, obviously, 20 minutes too late. Like, he pushes in the door, which has been broken down. And oh, my God, Fentzio, and really good, good prosthetics of this movie, good Good blood effects. Pancy Legs' legs been taken back. Oh, yes. Somebody has left the receipt behind and taken those legs. Jude Law came back because he had to repossess his legs. What an obscure reference to a terrible movie.

So he's like, I knew this would happen maybe. This doesn't make sense, but I'll go with it. And so he calls the cops, and he's like, calls the cops, and he's, like, look, this is what happened and everything. And then he's, then he has the thought like, oh, now Rembrandt himself is in danger. And at this point, I'm like, okay, change in tone. Of course, Brad Durf's not as he, is not as nice as he thinks he is. He's evil and maybe he's trying to make the perfect body.

I don't know. Like, I'm kind of making this my up as you go along. It's Brad Durf and just, you know, God bless him, but you always have to suspect him of being the crazy murderer. Absolutely. Even Deadwood. If Deadwood went eight seasons, he would have fucking been a serial killer. They would have eventually made Doc a serial killer. And I mean, he's certainly the most animated actor in this movie.

He's actually kind of going for it a little bit. Brad Durf is bringing it to the house like Brad Durf always brings it to the house. He didn't get an Oscar for Cuckoo's Nest, right? He was probably nominated. I don't know. He was awfully young. I mean, not that that matters, but I'm not sure. I don't think so.

No, yeah, he didn't get it. I think he's probably nominated. That's a great fucking performance. It really is. It's still the best thing. And that's a bar bet that you'll win every time. It's like, hey, you know, Brad Durf's and Cuckoo's Ness. Get the fuck out of here.

Like, no, he is. Nobody talks about Brad Durf in this bar. Get the fuck out of here. Actually, my favorite, he did, John Houston did Wiseblood, the Flannery O'Connor adaptation. It's phenomenal. And he's amazing in that. He's a great actor. I think he actually legitimately likes horror, though.

He's been pegged it a bit, but I think he kind of digs it. Yeah, totally. so he gets murdered yeah well it's amazing because it's a good murder you think he's the red herring for literally 38 seconds and then they cut to it's not even a full minute

and the killer is like throws him out of window and literally jacks his arm off speaking of mortal combat he rips this shit right off this is again probably a bad thing on Lindsay Duncan's part it's like sew that shit on a little tighter

He barely has to do anything. It kind of looks like he's like ripping a pork roast off his eye. It's just like, it's just this easy thing. Oh, if you just cook it for long enough, it just falls right off the bone. But it's so bad because he pushes him this entity. We haven't figured out quite yet. We don't know what it is, but we see that he's hilariously wearing a neck brace. I was like, all right, so the serial killer got in a bad car accident before he came here.

You think it was the truck driver from the big? Yeah, it might have been So he pulls this arm off Like he's fucking, you know, pulling some taffy off But like And then While Brad Durf is hanging out of a window Out of a window

Should mention that And then Martin sheens him On to the car of Zakes Morkai And it's just a dummy Yeah, oh it's great Oh, it's such a Brad Durf dummy Side question, you think Brad Durf kept that Brad Durf dummy

For weird Brad Durf reasons Well, you think, oh no, he's probably like maniac And he has like all of the different ones That's been made of him in his room Just like looking at him when he goes to bed That might be Or he uses it as a way to scare trick or treaters Me and my girlfriend playing this game lately

Which is people you like in movies and other things But you wouldn't want to have lunch with Brad Durf's kind of at the top of that list So what are we going to talk about? You start That's how lunch with Brad Durf would begin I only eat raw. Okay, Brad

I got it This is a mistake I'm sorry Brad I knew we should have went to Applebee's Brad Durif loves Applebee's So yeah

He gets slung out this window Under the car And again it's one of those Stupid things where it's like The guy's driving And he's like Jeff Faye He's like man

I sure hope nothing bad's happening To Brad Durr Smash on the windshield And you're looking at the clock Like there's 16 minutes left Where are we going with this And Jeff

So Zyko, whatever The cop The cop, whatever his name is I haven't bothered to learn it yet Is drive it, he's like Well, it's clearly, because for a while He thinks it's Jeff Fahy he might have killed Fancy Legs, he's like, just you stay with me

tonight. So now I was like, okay, it's not you killed fancy legs, I wonder who it could be And like Jeff Faye is kind of cash in this cop car, he's got his arm hanging out. Now, he's feeling that Breeze on the new arm. Look, I've never been arrested, but I would have imagine that if you're ever riding with a police

officer, he's not letting you roll down the window to have a smoke. Well, he's also not letting you to sit next to him. Yeah, totally. You're kind of being sort of arrested. You're being vetted for possibly being this murderer. Yeah. You're in the backseat. Yep, securely.

But no, he's, to this cop's uncredit, he's a little too cash, and all of a sudden this monster with a neck brace slaps the handcuffs on Jeff Fahey, and now it's the craziest car chase in history. This

shit is nuts. French connection eat your heart out. William Friedkin, you wish you could have figured this shit out. If Popeye Doyle could have handcuffed himself to somebody and drove down the road in Brooklyn, holy shit. This monster is driving this car.

Mid-pass does this handcuffing, and they're just stuck together. And Jeff Fahey's like trying to punch this dude in the face, but also he's like, all right, well, if I just get in car with him yeah i won't lose this arm hilariously again and he's like shoot him shoot him and the guy's like i can't get a good shot because he got jeffayy in my way he's like i can't get a good shot because you're in my way and i'm the worst police officer cinema's ever seen and we're driving

90 miles an hour with a car tethered to another car and apparently what's great is the monster driving is not at all like put out by this he's just kind of like got his got one arm on the wheel one arm on Fahey like here we go he's done this before and clearly we realize now that somehow it's the monster is the serial killer with a head

transplant it's the serial killer's head on another body that's what we're talking about here not set up not even alluded to does not like a shadow earlier in the movie like who could that be no it's like they just

this was like a 30 days shoot. And on day 29 and a half, they were like, hey, you know what could wrap this all up nicely? Holy shit, everybody. This is some crazy stuff. Oh, it's utter lunacy. And we're driving really fast

and we're about to come to a divider obviously. And Fahey gets the idea is like, you know what, if you're not going to use that pal, I'll take your gun and, you know, shoot to the handcuffs. And, you know, now we go our separate ways. And we forget that I guess it's winter.

in New York because whatever. And this monster driving this sedan hits a patch of black ice and the car just like skids into shit and like crashes and blows up and there's a huge fire and in what is

one of the funniest things you'll ever see. This huge monster is collecting the limbs that he's taken back out of the back seat and slinging him over his shoulders. Like he's carrying a sack of soccer balls. He's got Fred Durv's arm up on the dashboard as if it's a half-eat-eat sandwich.

It's just so fucking crazy. Where is your cooler of ice? Like, honestly, that's the one, it's one stop at Pathmark. Cooler ice. They got them both. It's $9.95. Granted, you have to shell out for, like, the big, like, coffin-sized one. Oh, sure.

Because you don't want to, like, fold the shit into, like, a small little Coleman cooler. you know he's carrying it like he dropped his textbooks he's just like what oh got this one this one he's got two human man-sized legs and an arm he's just like moping down the street with these limbs like it's a living it's like if you bought three watermelons you can get one under each arm but then you got that third one what are you going to do with that third watermelon why did I buy so many watermelons try to juggle all these stars and why so many watermelons So somehow Jeff Fahey, he's like, well, I know how to stop this. And the cop at this point has gotten out of the car to fire at the monster and failed.

Jeff Fahey steals this police car. And in the greatest display of this cop's ignorance, he just stares and watches this police car get stolen. Like, well, fuck it. Yep. There's not even like a fist shaking like, get back here, Fahey. he's just gone and he's like well back to the precinct

for me I guess hope this bedtime hope this suspected murderer figures out what's going on so like I'm expecting at least a 25 minute monologue to wrap this

fucker up because I need to know some answers yep well after the monster like after this happens the monster after he's dropped all his limbs on the ground and he's just like he doesn't know where to go oh my melons

I got mayonnaise on my severed arm Lindsay, like, and this makes, this was where I was really like, wait, what? Lindsay Duncan comes out of nowhere. I guess she's been following them. Sure. Her and a henchman. She's got a henchman. It's a henchman slash male nurse.

You cannot have. A henchman with a PhD. You cannot have a third act henchman. I will throw it right in the garbage. No, it's like if all of a sudden, like, Jack Nicholson's driving into the church and he's like, meet my friend Bob. Who the fucking? Bob. Exactly. So, but Jeff Fahey has left. Zakes-Morkai has

left. Lindsay Duncan walks up to this guy and who's just sitting in front of this fucking car explosion. Yeah, he's just like, you ever just like to watch something burn for a while? And like, he's her prom date. She takes her coat off, puts it around him. And I'm like, is this the first time you're seeing this? And if so, So, why aren't you shitting yourself? What did I tell you about a cooler?

Honestly, I cannot believe the level. It's useless. These are garbage arms. These are garbage limbs. It is just impossible training a monster to do anything for you. Anything. Because the way she comes up to him is like, oh my God, this happened? How did this happen?

And as we find out, she fucking did it. She engineered this whole rat. fuck thing so jeffay he's like all right there's only one place to go that huge hospital where this arm which is now abandoned question mark it's like all of a sudden it goes to like the abandoned hospital that christopher nolan found for the dark night like just this fucking nothing huge building everybody's clear that's like it just went out of business overnight all hospitals in upstate new york close at 10 fucking fucking government shut early hours so he goes and he goes to the lab and in another turn of just utter madness walks in.

And there, like a scene out of hellraiser, is this dude's torso, the two arm, or the one arm and the two legs, just fucking swing it in this box. It's like an aquarium. It's an aquarium for fucked up body parts to hang out. It's where Luke went after he got frozen in, fucking Empire Strikes Back. They borrowed that tank and put a bunch of crap in it, including a catheter, which I didn't... Like, I'm sure... The one thing that wasn't going to make me say, this movie's bullshit! How is that living torso supposed to piss?

Like, I didn't need the catheter. Honestly. How is his kidneys operating? I don't understand it. It's so weird, though, because where's the pelvis? Yeah. That's... You got the two legs.

You got from, like, gut up. Where's this dude's dick? Who got that operation? No, it's there. That's where the catheter's going. He's peeing into this catheter somehow. I'm not seeing it. Did I miss the dick?

No, I think it's got like bandages over it kind of a thing. Oh, yeah, you want to bandage that up. Yeah, Lindsay doesn't want to walk past that once. He's got her morning coffee, you know? I know that I'm a mad scientist and all, but I don't need to look at a withered water-worn penis every morning. Well, maybe Jeff Fahey got that too, and that's why he's doing all that strangling stuff. all right so thank god the dicks there okay so basically he goes into lindsay duncan and he's like what the fuck like honestly like really he's speechless as everyone is and like this is when you expect

there needs to be a six minute monologue like take me step by step from the beginning of the movie to this pelvis and she's like i had to do it think of the applications and he's like wait what and he gets knocked over the head I'm like what applications what I I think I need to just shut down that was hilarious

I need to see her going to dark art school in Romania this all needs to happen I heard pray tell of an ancient evile that only came to life when limbs of an executed madman were pulled apart and then only he brought them back

together again somehow Are you confused yet? I know I am. Hit him over the head. What is the medical application of a head transplant? And she's like, she's like, on these, these, these, you know, these transplants, it's only the beginning. Think of where this could go. And I'm like, what, zombie army?

Like I don't know. What do you mean? Where could it go? Think of all the people we could have saved in the French Revolution. I just don't. The best is she's only telling. us to think about it. She doesn't know what they are.

But, you know, hey, just think about it. If you have any good ideas, we got all these cut up limbs. It's like a weird Philip K. Dick. Like, she's like, we transplant heads now. And I'm like, what? Okay. Fine, I guess. But why?

And why? Okay, fine. Lim tranceplants. But the other side of that is she's like, isn't it cool how they, the head is trying to collect his body back together? I'm like, no, it's not. It's terrifying. And this does nothing for medical science.

Nope. And I mean, I'm so off the grid when it comes to this plot as it is right now. Why not just bring like fucking Hitler's head in? Sure. Yeah, exactly. And you're transplanting Hitler into the new body or some fucking bullshit like that. Dude, that's Emperor Reagan. That's how that shit happens.

Secret Nazi body switching. I'm into it. Fine. Just need a little something. Lindsay Duncan. anything anything other than you think about it for yourself audience which is what the movie gives you so there's now there's a big gun battle because it's jeffahy and this monster they time they're gonna like tie him to a table and do the operation to get this arm off and she's like you know you you asked for it pal you remember you wanted it which also why not yeah just when he was like hey this sucks she was she was saying like deal with it it makes no fucking sense that she's now okay with cutting it off. I can't. It just, it doesn't make

it, it makes, the monster's got, I'm just running in circles right here. The monster is mum on anything. Lindsay Duncan's just like, think about it everybody, like, what? And that male nurse doesn't have one line of dialogue. Oh, Rocco, the male nurse henchman? Dr. Rocco. Dr. Rocco, the third act

male nurse henchman. So he uses his Calell arm to break through these restraints and get off the table. And they're, like, about to gas him and cut it off, and it doesn't work out. And then there's just all this gunplay. Great gunplay. Again, like, a lot of Cronenberg in this movie, good, fuck it, good squib work.

There was a lot of money thrown on scribbs. They were going to cast Billy Zane, and they were like, well, you know, Jeff Fahke, he's $600,000 cheaper. That buys a lot of squibs. Do it. Make it so. Yeah, poor Rocco gets his little hedge is. blown clear off his shoulders. Because Jeff Fahey somehow acquires a shotgun from somewhere.

This is what happens. And it pisses me off so bad because the monster and Fahey are wrestling. And he gets like Fahey somehow is able to, A, push the shotgun that the monster has, even though he's a monster. And with the other hand, rips off the neck brace. And I'm like, holy shit. It's going to happen. He's going to rip his head off. That's how this has got to happen. There's no other reason you would have this character unless there was going to be a head rip. Yep. And then he just breaks his neck. Yeah. It's a really like loose

neck break too. And he just like does it. And then he's got this shotgun and then somehow like it he has to kill the body. He blows the body away. Oh yeah. It's body part. Oh yeah. So this is he, it's like just

shooting gallery on all these hanging body parts and he's just chukin all through this shit. It's just nothing. but pudding by the end of this. So he hits the heart of the body. So then monster dies

for the second time. Correct. Goes, rolls his eyes up, he's gone. And then, did he blow Lindsey Duncan's head off? He shoots the doctor at one point. The monster shoots the Lindsey Duncan. Oh, that's right. Yeah, the monster shoots her in the head

by accident because the monster's going for Fahy and he ducks out of the way. Lindsay Duncan just gets her head blown off. That's a real. Oh, fuck! Fuck, because, you know, like, the... Oh, I killed my Maker God! Yeah, I got all these body parts and nobody else can do it.

Rocko's dead, too. Oh, fuck. My rehabilitation's in the toilet. Who's going to put me back together? Fuck! He found the doctor from the human centipede movie. Sure, I'll do it. I'll do more than that.

You have to fuck me first. And eat my feces. That's the one thing I need in. human centipede. Not the one. He needs to fuck something. That doctor is just got to be like, and then I'm going to fuck you. And I'm like, all right. But he's just like, it's again, think of the application.

This will change everything. Well, okay, but are you going to fuck us? No. Then why are you doing this? The applications. Like, no, give me a medical reason this would happen. I suppose these applications could be sexy applications. But it will only remain applications. Yeah, that doctor's got to fuck something in that movie.

Chicken, something. Somebody's going to fucking something. So anyway, this monster comes back for one last scare and is alive again somehow. Yeah. And Jeff Fahey finally just, like, shoots it in the head. It's a good, it's a fucking Gallagher ending. There's a lot of watermelon bashing in this movie, which is cool. It's fantastic.

Mm-hmm. and then somehow he explains all this to the police offer who's like well that all checks out that's fine you're free to go you're free to go with your new arm and then we end in a park we end in the park he's just writing in his journal and he's like you know for whatever reason ever again question mark he's like after I killed that monster the arm stopped being evil for some reason I guess there was no point at all to this film good night

like what it has to end with him losing the arm And being like, you know what? I'm just going to resign myself to learn to live with one arm. Maybe I'll get a cool robotic prosthetic in the future, whatever. But for now, I'm cool with this. Better ending is Zakes Morkai is like, you know, finally shut this down. Like he has like some effects that he has to give back to Jeff Fahey or something.

Finally closed the case on this monster that's been running around. He goes to his house. The family's butchered. Yes. And there's a note from Jeff Fahey. saying, I'm going to go thumb a ride or some shit like that. Oh, no. Here, even better, though, it's signed by the name of the serial kid.

And then it's Jeff Fahey driving a car and there's like a dead chick in the backseat. Yep. Way better ending. That's what I love. It's really, like, sweet at the end for no good reason. Yeah, they're just lovingly sitting in the park. Kim Delaney and him are like under a tree watching the kids play. She's like, sorry I may just sleep at that motel.

Sorry, I almost killed you and really hit our kid. Hey, Timmy, sorry about that again. Boy, I really love reading your journal over your shoulder. It's fantastic. Hey, Charlie, I'm sorry about that drug habit you're going to have in like eight years. But don't worry, I'm a licensed psychiatrist. I'll be able to talk you through it. Which, it's one of those bullshit things where, like, it's him and Kim Delaney and there, you know, have been fucking, like, picnic at the park. And he, like, writes in the journal, which he thinks he's going to send to a

a journal. And Fangorian? Yeah, I don't get. And she's saying like, oh, aren't you planning on submitting this to a medical journal? Because his journal ends with, I beat the fuck out of him or something. I won the arm fair and square.

It's like, I wanted to end with a little humor. What? And that's such bullshit, because that's so the director would be like, hey, it's just a movie, everybody. Don't worry. Don't take this too seriously.

This film you just watched entitled Body Parts is just a move. I just wasted three. million dollars eat that shit would anybody recommend body parts i would i think it's really it's i think the beginning is fine the first movie i saw tonight body parts part one is really fun body parts part two is totally fucking nuts body parts part two the crazening it's just i think it's totally worth it to watch the switch i like watching jeff hay and things i like lindsay duncan i like the monster i like brad durf yeah it's a strong recommend yeah it's a recommend everything I mean it's just so fucking crazy and it really does earn that kind of just insanity that you want in a movie like this it doesn't try to play too much towards you know towards chest with that stuff yeah I would totally recommend it it's got a good atmosphere to it you know I've mentioned on the show all the time I love the atmospheric horror and you know this gets there it's kind of like a weird it's got the feel of like a weird like Stuart Gordon movie a little bit and you know I totally dig it that switch is crazy and even though you just heard us talk on

I don't think it it ruins it at all because my God that car chase is crazy town and then everything that happens after that is nuts too and my god that answering machine message all of it is insane

uh yeah I think that's gonna put a cap on it we recommended it all three so uh no recommendations this week unfortunately I'll do a little sidebar one I'm not going to make you guys on the spot do one but I'll do one because we're talking about Brad Duriff possibly is stay tuned I have to rewatch it but

Brad Duref stars in spontaneous combustion. Oh, that's a fun movie. Yeah, that movie's speaking of fucking crazy. So, you know, if you want to continue your Brad Duref marathon, that's, you know, why about this? Can we recommend Brad Duref movies that aren't one flew over the cuckoo's nest? Well, I already did Wise Blood. You know, I will recommend that X-Files episode that Brad Duref is in.

I don't remember the title of it. Oh, Beyond the C. Beyond the C. He plays a serial killer, big surprise. and I think it's after Scully Scully's father dies in the beginning and like she's communicating with him through Duraf. Oh, that's, now I remember that episode.

It's a great episode. It's a great guest turn. If you want a good guest spot on your television, give a call to Brad Durf, he'll show up. He'll show up and figure something out. Yeah, there you go. That's a good call. Plus, then you're watching still good stuff from the X-Files. It's before that show got shitty. What did you say? What was the other? Oh, Wiseblood. I would just say Wiseblood again. Oh, Wiseblood, yeah, the John Houston movie. Yeah, that's for sure.

It's a wonderful movie. And on that note, read Flannery O'Connor short stories. Sure. He's fucking great, too. Oh, actually, this is based on a Flannery O'Connor short story. Oh, body parts. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Where does the hand of God fit into all of this? Probably with that fucking answering machine tape.

God told him to do that. That's for sure. It's got to put a cap on Body Parts for this week. If you want to get a hold of us or find out more information about the show, check out the website, WHMpodcast.com. Like our Facebook page and be sure to follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM Podcasts

right into the mailbag. We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. If you have any other insane Braddorf recommendations we have not mentioned here, maybe we'll read them on a mailbag episode yet to be released. The Spooktacular Rose on next week. Three more episodes so excited about goddamn October. I love Halloween so much.

I'll do a hint because literally, really there's a hundred movies that this could be. Uh-huh. Stephen King. Yeah, there you go. Stephen King. Start making your guesses, everybody. Check us out at the pit.

October 17th, 9.30 p.m. We're talking Scream 3. If you want to hear us, rip on West Craven one more time this year. Until next week, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Teda. Chris Gavin. Take it easy.

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