We Hate Movies - S4 Ep129: Episode 129 - Post-Halloween Bonus: Scream 3 (LIVE)

Episode Date: November 1, 2013

One last scary treat for this year's Spooktacular because we're always so sad to see it go! Recorded live (poorly) at the People's Improv Theater in New York City, the gang lays out their issues with Wes Craven's third, and worst, entry into his serial killer franchise, Scream 3! Whose idea was it for all the cameos? That mom was clearly making porn, right? And just who was asking for that Jamie Kennedy video? Scream 3 stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Scott Foley, Lance Henriksen, Parker Posey, David Arquette and Patrick Dempsey; directed by Wes Craven; with cameos by Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven and Roger Corman. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title one good scare. Sometimes dead is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicamand. They're coming to get you, Barbara. I sick fucks you've seen one too many movies. Now, sit, don't you blame the movies.

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. What's the fucking love you're in the back? We're an excellent day for an exorcism. Welcome to We Hate Movies Live. I'm Andrew Jubin. I am Stephen Sadek. And for those of you who are unfamiliar,

we are a bad movie podcast. And each week we talk about bad movies and do stupid jokes like the one we just did me now involving a couple of Dracula's and or the three screams. What we'll do tonight is talk about a little film called Scream 3. From here 2000, that seems so long ago.

It wasn't 2000. Oh, you know, that's what it was. We thought we were doing Dracula 2000. 2000. Oh, I see what you say. That's the one with the two backers. This is the one with the tired actors. Are you trying

to take this off? Yeah, it's coming off. All right, we'll do your Velcro. There it is. Wow, look how easy that comes up. Now I'm a human being and not a vampire anymore. So this is the third film in the West Raven series of serial killer movies, which gets a little too

self-reflexive on all the self-reflexivity that's been going on for two other movies. Yeah, so basically what we open on, Cotton Weiry, stuck in traffic. LA traffic, right, everyone? It's the first of about

114 L.A. jokes. Yeah. Because, you know, whereas, like, the first movie we're skewering horror movies. This one, we're just going to skewer Hollywood on the whole. It's like Robert Alvin's the player, but with shitty, shitty actors in it.

It's the player for people who go to horror conventions, I guess. That's the difference. Well, you'd find Jane, Silent Bob at a horror convention there in this movie. We'll get to that a little later. We open on the Hollywood sign in Cottonware is stuck in traffic,

and apparently he has become, because it's 2000, like a Jenny Jones-esque talk show. Or Jerry Springer-esque. Or Oprah. Because he has the number one daytime city-bed talk show. Remember when Jenny Jones

facilitated a murderer. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, she sure did. It's like hilarious and then that guy killed somebody. Yeah, boy, her face was really nice. It's right as Sally, Jesse Raphael's glasses. They remember her. So yeah, he's a big talk show host because he's made famous after being cleared of all charges for not being a murderer. For going to jail for murder. They give him a talk show. And in the talk show, yeah, now this is genius here. 100% percent, Cotton? Whoa. That's an unseemly title. If my kid, if I come home, my kid's watching

100% cotton, I'm like, what the fuck are you watching? What is this, a Haynes commercial? Why would it sound like that, though? One hundred percent cost. It's a creepy term. Is it?

I think so. I think it's... You might as well call it 100% me. That's, you know, that it's a talk show all about you know, but it's all cotton. your face. That's why it's creepy. But it's not like, I can understand

100% God if it was like, here's my girlfriend, she's 100% God. That's creepy. But if it's like, you know, here's a bushel of towels. They're 100% cut. There's no creepivity there. Nothing creepy about a bushel

of towels. So this dude is going home after a long day on the set of 100% stop. They work hard. It proves 110% common to every episode. But only 100% makes it in the screen. The camera adds 10%. He's stuck in traffic.

He's, of course, argued with an agent over a cameo in a movie. Hollywood. Oh, man. I wish every five minutes so does Hollywood, am I right? Holy Weird. Yeah, it's more like Holly Weird. There's so much Hollywood in this movie.

He gets, oh, a terrified, call waiting. He gets a terrifying call waiting, and this is not your dad's scream movie, all right, because it's not the crazy scream voice. It's a sexy lady. And he's like, oh, way to turn the tables. Exactly, like, ooh, is there a sexy lady scream going to come out? Was, like, blonde hair in the mask?

But no. He gets a wrong number, and it's a sexy lady. So he's like, oh, Merrill, I'm going to call you back. There's a call in the line. And then he just flirts with this stranger. I love the thinking here, right? Because he's like conducting a business deal and arguing over stuff that will make him money

and then this lady calls this mystery lady and he's like, Merv, I have to call you back. I might fuck this stranger who accidentally called me. I might turn this wrong number into a sexual encounter because all I have to do is keep this lady on the phone

and it's going to happen. Just keep her talking until eventually I wear her down. She tells me where she lives. I go over there. and then maybe I'm fucker. I think that's the thinking here. Yeah, it's a one, two, three process. But he's already dating Kelly Rutherford, we find out. Megan from Ellen Rose Plice.

Anybody? No, there's never anybody. But here's the twist. The sexy lady turns into the scream voice. Oh, what? You know. No, that's just a hundred percent cop in my head. Yeah.

turns it in the screen, I was going to say, oh, so let's talk about this, the voice modulators in this movie. It's so stupid. I think they were made by a genie. It's a magical device in this movie. It's not just like, click, hello, Sydney. It's all sorts of voices. Any voice in the world. Any voice in the

world. Murph Griffin, West Raven, the pit word. Yeah. Neve Campbell does not have a memorable voice. I don't know how you, like, go in and get a microchip that sounds like Neve. Campbell. I don't understand it and also, as we find

out, like, at the end of the movie, who this killer is, and he's, like, related to her and whatever her. Oh, fuck. Spoiler, sorry. He's, like, never physically met her. No. So how does he know how her voice sounds? Like, he's just sitting there tweaking something till it sounds. Oh, oh, that's just, that's a fish too high.

Oh, no. How do I unsotter something? Let me set my machine to David Arquette. Maybe for Neff Camel, they just bought, like, a box set of party of five, and then just, like, was watching a chapter on repeat. There's, like, background noise in. It's, like, a soundboard. Everybody wants. Oh, don't get me started.

That's one of the best theme songs of all time. It's a good harmonica use. So, basically, it's like, hey, I'm in your house. I'm going to kill your girlfriend. Imagine I'm doing the screen voice right now. Just everyone close your eyes. And he's, so Cottonweary starts driving through traffic. He calls the police, but in a hilarious twist, the police have a busy signal, right?

Everybody? That's cute. That's really cute. I love it. It's like, leave your number with my agent. I'm a police officer, right? It will do much. It wasn't busy because there was too many emergencies.

It was busy because the operator was powered out of his haunting a shit. Or something. So, Nick from Melrose Flex is home alone. awaiting 100% cotton to come back in. She does not call him 100% cotton. I imagine she's calling cotton. Out of the bedroom or inside the bedroom. Maybe she's going to call him cot.

Cot? Cot. Hey, Cot. If your name is cotton, the nickname is Cot? Yeah, you just say, it caught. I want to be nicknamed after the laziest put together a sleeping device of all time. It's entirely possible.

I want to be nicknamed after what is about to be devoid. husband sleeps on. The only other option is ton, and that's just like a fat joke. You don't want that. That's one of those. You might have to say the full name. You might have to say 100% of the name of the name of cotton.

So the screen is inside the killer. Ghost face. They call him Ghostface. The ghost face killers in there. He's in there. He's tooling around with a new album. He's in there producing a new album. and she just gets attacked

this is the cold open of a shitty movie she gets attacked thinking that it's cotton weary playing a joke on her which she says something about like I'm sick and tired of all your screen games what is going on that called in the screen games

also I don't think this guy should be playing games this guy narrowly was just missed the death sentence right like the needle was like right here and somebody was like Hang on a second! Like, every time they have sex, like, hey, imagine if I actually

killed that woman. Just one of my scream games. Sorry, I'm just kidding around. I might have actually killed them. Like, I feel if you want to try to play a screen game, you get one shot in a screen game, and then he or she says no stream games. Yeah.

If this is another one of your stream games, that's at least more than three. You've tried three times at a screen game. Hey, babe, I poisoned your food. No, I didn't. I did not do that. Eat your food. So, this girl gets murdered, and so is cotton weary. The cotton finally gets jibb.

Do you think... What the fuck. That's great. Do you think, like, big hardcore fans of this franchise are like, oh, fuck! Cotton gone and now anything's possible! I was one of those people. I like cotton wearing.

I would be supportive. How are you, really? Well, Dracula's agree, yeah. Two out of two Dracula's agree. It's Lens Shriverrydery's the best actor, the whole goddamn franchise. Yeah, that's probably pretty good. Nobody's weeping Jamie Kennedy. That's actually 100% of the truth.

Yeah, oh, interesting tidbit about this. So there's a scene where he's like, there's like a shot. He's coming down in this hallway, the apartment. And then he just stops, and Liam Shriver's his sweater, off. It was like another sweater beneath it. And I guess that was because he'd been working out recently and he insisted that he wore like a tight

white sweater to just pack out while he was doing this. I'm about to be murgant singing. Well, yeah, you don't think to play saber tooth without a few peckouts. It's a 10-year plan. Yeah. He's really thinking far out to play the saber tooth.

Yes. Someday I'll get that. That's a bad, yeah. I thought that was Professor Axe for a second. Moving on So he's dead So like Unlike the first movie

Which is just like Actually playing with like What you expect a horror movie to be And like you know Sending that up in ways This is just like hey let's meet up With all of our favorite characters Like Dewey and fucking Gail Weathers

Who everyone thinks is a bitch At the beginning of every movie Every movie she comes out like Oh that bitch Gail Weathers It's like because Off screen Off movie every time she does something heinous. She just resets

herself to zero. Every time. She writes another book, a tell all, about everyone's like, you know, cowardish behavior probably, and everyone rolls her eyes when she comes, like, fuck you, I'm not going to save you next time. I'm not allowed to that. In this movie, I even roll my eyes, because apparently

she was a news reporter, right, and she worked away up to 60 minutes two. Oh, yeah, R-I-PD that show. Which didn't work out. And now, and now she's the news anchor for something called Total Entertainment? It's like broken for E. She goes from like hard copy

reporter. It's her and Billy Bush you're talking about ghost-faced killers. Yeah, exactly. Who's reading those books, by the way? Because that's another thing. When we're introduced to her, Courtney Cox, our cat at this point by the way, is lecturing at some sort of journalism school

and some dude stands up and he's like, uh, how are you a cat for you being a heartless snake? She's just like, no, sometimes. Times, journalism. And everyone else in this, like, it's a packed lecture hall. It's like, that fucking guy

and that's really disrespectful of Gail Weathers. I'm like, no, that guy's right. This is no one talking to. You're paying for this shit. It's like Lex Luthor giving a school at NYU business. You know what I mean? It's just like, boo! You're a villain. You sir are a villain.

No, no, no, no. But he makes money. He does make money. He makes it rain. So then we're free. Let's get out of it. Never knows. It's just laughing at Steve. So, she's about

and Eve Campbell here? Yeah, she's more now, Sidney's working at a crisis hotline. She's being all these suicides are coming up asking for help in their lives. Oh, all those whiny suicides.

I know how you hate them so. Oh, but it's over the phone because she doesn't leave her house because she's like shutting because she's so damaged from the past two times a bunch of people tried to kill her. She's definitely a secret order in this situation. You only see her?

The order? I thought that was going someplace. Like Amy's hit shows. Uh-huh. Because you only see two rooms, but I'm imagining if she's such a broken person now. Yeah. There's like a newspaper room.

Yeah, there's a dead cat. Yeah, usually all it takes is like the death of one parent and or a tangential connection to 9-11. This woman's caused the death of at least 20 people at this point. So she's definitely hoarding shit. She's a problem letting things go.

She's got like her Randy room with all a Randy memorabilia. How much Jamie Kennedy related memorabilia in one room? It's a quarter. You don't need a Randy room. You can have the randy shell in the stew room. That's such a roughest room.

So you got to hang out your randy room? The ranger room is also the garage. It's the corner of the garage by the recycling bin. Yeah, by the litter box. She's got her new life, and, you know, she's off the grid. The last thing Ghost Faith says when he kills Cottonweary is where is Sidney. Hey, why the fuck with this guy that narrowly didn't kill her mother know where she is? They're not keeping tabs.

They're not pen pals. They're not best buds. There are people who, for a long period of time, one hated the other one, and the other one was trying to convince her not to hate it. That's not a relationship you keep tabs up. Hey, buddy, remember that time you almost ended my life by false identifying me?

Where are you living these days? What's the problem with these sequels? Everyone continues to be best buds. Let me tell you this. If the three of us ever had a situation where we were narrowly almost killed by a serial killer, I'm just going to not talk to you ever again. I'm not going to, like, a Survivor's brunch, you know, I'm going to forget when your birthday is.

You're going to get your big talk show. Go away. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to head west and forget my troubles. Because fuck that. Why don't I want to keep drummed it up? It's gross. Or why would I want to go to college with Jamie Kennedy?

That's a bullshit thing in that second movie, not to switch movies here. But they totally pull the same by the bell. But yeah, everyone just go to the same college. Scream their college years. You're going to scream you, Billy Crystal and Jones. I would imagine, I like to imagine that, like, Neff Campbell asked Jamie Kennedy where he's going. I was like, oh, I'm undecided. He's like, where are you going?

Oh, Winslow? I'm going to Winslow to you. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely there. I've got early admission, so probably before you, right? Right. So, we're filming another Stab movie. This is just... Stap 3.

Stap 3. you know what if this movie was made now and we said 3D just putting that out there David Arquette in 3D that little mustache coming out with you

that's the mustache in the third dimension that would sound like drapes that's by the way that's what Gail Weather sees in the bedroom can you talk about her hair for a quick second

I don't know what It's kind of the haircut Pony Boy gets when When like The Pony Boy gets that bad haircut Yeah, when Johnny cuts it with a switchblade It's just like a really bad bangs It happens in movies every so often

It happens to Courtney Cox in this movie When you watch it It's a little game I like to play called Is That a Whig? And the way the actor One Ups you want is that a wig Is that a wig is if you get to the end credits and you can't tell if it's a win.

And I can't, I don't know. It's like kind of crooked at some point. It's just, it's really bad bangs. You're right. It's like rusty switchblade bangs. Maybe they saw it off with like the switchblade cone. Yeah. Just really kept working at.

Well, it's half a wig half the time because like the, there was so many rewrites and redos of this movie because it was like, we don't want the ending to come on the internet. So they did like three versions. of every scene. That's got to be obnoxious, huh? They've got a movie like that three times? If anyone could do it, what the fuck is the point? If anyone

could do, oh, it'll be the killer? Yeah, who cares? I see it at the end of the movie where it's very Scooby-Doo-Doo-ish this movie, more so that the rest is. Oh, this is the Scooby-Doo-Y that's for certain. So to make a staff movie, okay, and they're on set. And this is what doesn't make any sense. This is like the third movie.

We already know from the second movie, like that starts off with the Stab premiere, that it just borrows shit from the first screen movie, and that's like the movie? This Stad 3 is just using shit also from the first screen movie? What is going on in these

stab movies? It just keeps going back to the same house. Like they had it set up with the, her, what's her face there? Rose McGowan. Yeah, yeah. Rose McGowan. Where she gets murdered with, like, where she gets murdered with, like, the garage

in the first movie, that's still set up. They might happen again, who knows? Oh, stab three, the copycadding? Well, that's what they all are, right? Yeah, it's a serious of copycats. They're all guys putting on screen masks doing the same thing. Yeah, but I'll tell you what.

In this movie, we find out who started the whole thing. It goes down. Yeah, because my teeth were chattering when you're fucking figure that out. So, if we're on the movie lot here, I think we're in cameo country. Oh, it is time for some serious cameos. between to Roger Corman.

The only time in anything like this where there's a cameo, I was like, oh my God, that's awesome. It's Roger Corman. And he's arguing, like, against violence and movies kind of, is like a studio executive that wants him to tone down because... See, it's cute because he was schlucky, he liked violence.

Yeah, there you go. It's a real... It's a thick-and-man's joke. And Lance Henriksen with blonde hair, which I really just couldn't stop looking at. You know, Lance Hendrickson's playing like the West Craven's surrogate in this movie. Yeah, I was just about to say that he's not

a came, though. He's not playing Lance Higgins. He's playing, producer. And Jay and Silent Bob are on tour of the studio. We could just do it. Which I don't, I mean... What? I'm about the fuck. This movie takes place

in the purest universe. Which means all the other three screen movies take place. It's just universe. That means Jane and Silent probably we could go to see Stab in the theaters. Probably

and they probably loved it. It's a rich cabbage to me. It's been 45 minutes in, I'm not invested at all, and then two cartoon characters show up, like, oh, now I'm really fucking scared. They might as well be followed by like Bugs Bunny and two of the four

teenage mutant ninja turtles. Who cares? It's like they're going to Tune Town. You know what I mean? They're on a studio a lot. Like, where's the magic door? or through the two times the sun's singing to you.

You know about Austin's his aggravated? You know about Jane Silent Bob? They work for peanuts and they're just elephants for some reason. I'd love to see Jay and Silent Bob take a dip bath. Roger Rabbit jokes.

No, it's weird because I think like Jason Mews sees Courtney Cox and confuses her for Connie Chung. That's a joke. Yeah, this is a joke. Oh, that's weird. And, yes, she flips him

in the bird. Yeah, it's fun. She gets her revenge. Also, not like a cameo to playing a tourist, West Craven, right behind him. Oh, you want to see her, shirt, bucket hats? I'm napping photos. You noticed that, but you know the best, in this first three movie, West Craven has a great cameo.

Oh, Freddie Krugner, the janitor. Yeah, Fred the janitor, just this nasty old bastard. Where, dressed up is Freddy Kruger? Yeah, what is that supposed to tell you? Who does that say? It doesn't. Why is what it says. I'm trying to watch a movie. Don't make me have to think about other movies. Like, keep me in your world. Honestly, it took me out of the movie to see a janitor not going to pour a hat on it.

That doesn't happen. Yeah, you're inside, janitor. How about some professionalism? No respect. Take off that knived glove while you're at it. There's kids around. That hat hook isn't there for nothing. Well, I guess he's just kind of bumming because, like, the Fons is his boss in that movie. phones as principal

Ah damn I thought I'd be able to pull it out Embry Oh nice Yeah I just watched all four Of those movies Hey Really

Yeah not really So we've got this cast Of like actors That are playing The actors you know Which is annoying Except for one Parker Posey

Is fantastic in this movie Because she's fantastic In almost everything But that's it Emily Mortimer Is playing Nev Campbell She's got nothing to do this movie. She hides in the back

of the frame. It's not out of her ten scenes. She like almost says things like, no, forget it. No, no, seriously. You're in the movie. What do you think? Like, someone's out. I just don't know. I wish I could figure out who this killer was. She's like, what? She knows.

There's a young male actor and a sassy black actor. He's real sassy. It's fun. He's fun. You never see that in a horror movie. It's so bad. Like, just write a black character. Why? Why does he have to be that? Well, because it's supposed to be a guy who could convincingly play a character

that could convincingly replace Jamie Kennedy's character or something. Those are big shoes to fill. Big bowling shoes. Like, those are the first of... What an obnoxious character, that is. We'll get to that.

So they're making this movie, and we're introduced to the best police detective of all time, McDreamy. This is like his comeback. He re-emerged from the late 80s. This hair is so coiffed. This is not a gritty

police detectives haircut. There's a lot of moose going on. There's curls. Because it's Hollywood. Stop forgetting. Yeah, we'll do lunch. He likes movies, too. Of course he's movie obsessed, because it's a screen movie. Someone's kind of a movie obsessed.

Well, no, it's weird because Neff Campbell's being interviewed by him, he has one movie poster. He's like, oh, a real movie buff, huh? He's like, no, I want that in a raffle. I don't know. It's literally one poster. Well, it's like an old-timey, like, Atomic Age film noir, so it means, like, he knows how he does the stuff.

He's a kiss me deadly. Great movie, by the way. But, yeah, yeah, he's the movie about it, right? He grew up in Hollywood, so they're like, he explains, like, Big Dreamy's like, oh, listen, I get all these backlock cases because I know the business. Well, Campbell's like, I'm not sleeping. He hits on her the entire time.

She's like, please help me to the killer, after me. He's like, yeah, what did you, how did that make you feel? It's just like a leg. He just got this arm going after her? Wow, Sidney, I sure am lucky. You didn't get murdered those two other guys. You are beautiful. And he's the worst

detective actor. He's so far away from everything. He's like, oh, more of a Trace Rones Cold type of guy. When you are out policed by David Arquette's Deputy Dewee character, who's also like physically disabled in this movie?

Like, you're a really bad police detective. How was he magically not disabled in the fourth movie? Oh, does he not have... Yeah, he's just running around, like, it's all fine. Do you think they were like halfway through filming that movie and he was like, oh, hey, Wes, remember I got stabbed in the spry? And I

had that limb in the last one? He's like, you got a robot leg. You let's go to a robot. It's 2012. You can have a robot leg. You can get it on Twitter. What? I love Wes Gray to not understand

the Twitter words He's me with Amazon It makes sense Free shipping on that Twitter huh? So I mean the basic The through of this movie is people from the cast

are getting murdered Oh and the top of everything off is our director Roman, played by Scott Foley in his first ever movie Maybe his last He does not do movie as well. He's a small screen

man. He's on a scandal I believe is the program. Yeah. And we forgot to mention with Jenny McCarthy. Oh yeah. She gets copied to death. With a copying machine. Right? What? No, she gets stabbed

through the back and thrown through a dog. Oh, right. Okay. Did you see one of the alternate counts that they fell? No, I got bamboozled by what's crazy. I think we just discovered Eric fell asleep in the middle. Oh, yeah, that was a copy machine now, right?

I was confusing with the riveting fax machine scene, which was later in the middle. And that one actually happened, right? The fax is coming from inside the house. He was waiting, but come on. Yeah, they're like faxing like this script. Oh, no, what's it good? I want to see how it ends.

I'm not leaving that house. But it was two... It was 2000. It was already. old to be faxing pages of something. Well, not when you're inside of the house, and you're trying to, you know, keep them in there for... What about an

AOL chat? You know, like you get an instant message. Guys, wait! I've got men. Did you hear that loud door opening noise? That means a buddy of mine signed on. Did you hear that wolf howl?

That means a killer son. Hey, can we talk about how there might be ghosts in this movie? things. There was a crazy. That's not you right.

There may be some good like it's like yeah I know all the movies take place in reality but we do

want to plant the seed that we might not be at a ghost country just yet. Three movies in there might be

a specter would be out there so like Nick Campbell's having this dream and like she lives up in hill

country she's totally off the grid like come through the legend continues like really

nowhere is the little shit right and she's taking a nap she always

takes in these movies. Well, she's depressed, Andrew? Is she depressed in that? Yes, she is. I was going to say that first one, but the mother just dead. She had things to be depressed about it. You know what probably doesn't help for depression hearing everyone else's problems. All right.

Operating that cracks is not... Unless it's like a real shot in Freud thing. She hangs at the phone like, that sucks. Glad I'm up here alone with my dog. Oh, like my mom got murdered. My mom, my two boyfriends, a couple of friends, friends of friends.

Jay Kennedy. Omar Fabs for no reason. What kind of call would have to call in? You would have to feel good. Right? Yeah, that's actually true. She would like have to be on the Holocaust Survivor hotline.

Be like, yeah. This is Cambodia genocide? So she's taking this nap. Right? Having all sorts of weird dreams. And her mom, like, you hear her mother or what is it supposed to be her mother and like it's just like

ooh I'm outside your house sounds like my mother doing her best ghost impression they're ghostly noises and a ghostly breeze she like comes up to the window and she's got makeup on like Gina Davis and Beetle juice

like that last scene when they're over the tail they're just turning to dust that's what she looks like and then you're like well that's terrifying and then it turns into the ghost face killer and it smashes through the window and you're like, wow, this is intense. And then it's a dream.

But the movie is clearly set up that it's like, there might be a ghost. Look at all that fog out there. A ghost could be hiding in that fog. This brings us to, and you know who tells us there might be a ghost? Jamie Kennedy himself. He comes, he's a ghost.

He's a ghost. He died. Famous Hollywood ghost, Jamie Kennedy. He's haunting the last. laugh factory right now. He's haunting that L.A. New Year's Eve party in the whole thing? Oh, isn't that just the best thing

you've ever done at the time? Watching that? That fight breaks out at the end. And he has to do it, New Year. Two women punch each other in their face. He's just taking his log mic off, like, well, that was embarrassing. Well, that didn't kill my career. Nothing, well. Jenny McCarthy gets killed and who cares? A bunch of people killed and who cares and we have no

idea how to fight this killer and then Heather Madarazzo shows up with a VHS and everyone's like oh my god it's Randy's sister remember and I'm like no we've never seen this character before no I saw two movies spend a lot of time with you people and not once

was there a sister ever mentioned there are two secret siblings in this film she's the first of them I just don't need it I don't need it you know what here's the deal Heather Montarazzo if your brother leaves a in case I die trilogy tape behind mail it

to the people he asked you to because also how is she getting on this Hollywood back lot? She's just in a trailer like, hey guys and they're like, they're legitimately shocked because they're right, what are you doing here? How did he set that up? In case Cottonweary's murder

get this to Cindy, like wait for the signs first a big chested bear of the talk show host and get killed. And then he'll old specter might show so not only did Jamie was Jamie Kennedy prescient enough to realize that this might be a trilogy

his sister was looking out for the signs of a trilogy for the last three years finally found the trilogy which she was looking for and brought the tape at that exact time let me tell you something if one of my siblings ever came to me and was like listen there's this tape it's in case

I die tape it's in case I die tape it's going to explain to all of my friends that they're inside a trilogy I need you to give it to them in the event of my death yeah I'll explain it to a garbage slash I'm probably going to call

someone yeah I don't know you know in that house maybe not maybe I'll just feel like you know what I think you need to talk to mom and dad about something because that's really morbid shit I think you need to change school stop following this fucking lightning rod of death around, that's Sydney, all right? Yeah, you know what?

You didn't need to jump right to the four-year college. Two years of community college, away from that black cloud of death, letting it a couple years ahead here, maybe she'll transfer, then you can go to that college, but stop following around,

Linus. Fucking embarrassing, the Jim Kennedy. So the rules of, in case, he's like, hey guys, I kind of figured I'd be I might get killed right now. By the way, I'm not heading for the hills. I want to make this tape. Well, you know, he's a dedicated friend.

Yeah, sure. I want to make sure that I'm going to give you rules that don't come in handy at all. The rules, by the way, in these movies, never come in handy. Well, they kind of made sense in the first book because it's like as base as you can get. But then by this movie, it's like,

all right, so rule number five is if you cross the street and there's a black dog and then you look and there's a school bus, that might mean that at some point in August, a killer is going to be thinking about drumming up a plan to... That's a rule. That's definitely a rule.

And he's also like, yeah, by the way, all bets are off. It could be supernatural, everybody. And I'm like, really? We're really going down this road? It's also like, oh, and Sydney, you know, you might die because it's a trilogy now. They're ending in a trilogy. But that's not going to happen. No, that's definitely not going to happen.

But also the best part about this, though, like, watching this on the TV, he's like doing a big where he's yelling with his college roommate and wants to get in the room and everything. And he's like, just a second. I'm making it in case I die video. And Courtney Cox is taking notes. Okay? Might be supernatural. I don't know.

Yeah, what's that? Oh, that's all. She's a writer, Andrew. Okay, she's taking notes. What's what writers do? All right. It just seems to me like he's giving them useless advice in the first place.

It's not really filmic advice either. It's just like, yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's supernatural. If someone tells me it might be supernatural. I'm just going to turn the table. So I've done this twice before. I know it's not supernatural.

But then Sid goes on a movie set, and she keeps hearing her mother's voice. And there's more ghostly noises, because the old man who is trying to drum up the real estate, I guess, dressed up as her dead mother. Like, it's so Scooby-Doo at this point. Trying to drum up the real estate to sell that abandoned amusement park on.

That's right. Can we mention about how it's revealed that her mother used to work in Hollywood probably an adult features, I'm guessing. Because that's the other thing that this movie makes you want to care about is a character who is never a character in the first one.

This mother who's seen only in news footage and paper clippings in the first two movies is now like front and center. They find like this photo of this actress with a different name that is the mother and it's like, oh let's

go on this lot. So they go and visit Carrie Fisher, who is not Carrie Fisher, who is a clone of Carrie Fisher. She's an actress that looks exactly like Carrie Fisher, played by Carrie Fisher, complaining about how she didn't get cast in Star Wars because

she wouldn't have sex with George Lucas. Who can enjoy that joke? Like, who is there and enjoy whatever that joke is supposed to be? I think even the biggest Star Wars fan that saw this movie was just like, I don't want to be laughing. But that's where

got the idea for a tacking the clothes, right? Because he found two identical women. When they fall each other, they're going to fight over me, and the one who sleeps with me gets to be the princess. The other one gets to be a clerk in a backlaw of the studio somewhere.

I'll see to that. Let the games begin. He'll never leave that basement. Yeah, this whole movie is kind of a Roman Polansky allegory, because it's all about how has Sidney's mother something terrible happened to her

once at this director's house Oh, it was Jack Nicholson's head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, come on. It's just really gross, because it's like, and it's so unspeakable, even Lance Hendrickson can't talk about it. He's just like, I can't. It's just, it was,

wow. I mean, what happened to her was horrible, and then he does the whole like, but she brought it out of it. Yeah. Totally watch his Lance Hendrickson dance. here's what's fucked up though and this is why it's like sometimes bad to see too many movies so they're talking about this

and I'm like... Wait Andrew do you think you've seen one too many movies? This is why right so I was like oh yeah and then a few scenes from now they're gonna like drum up a bunch of orgy photos yeah that's gonna be fucked up and then I was like no that's Joan Allen and the contender never mind there's no orgy photos in this movie fast forward no it's just this vague horrific event

that just ruined everyone's life that it touched. I think they, like, killed a baby. It was a devil sacrifice. It was like a snuff film? Yes. Like, where the mother was, like, the murderer. Like, she got down and then murdered the baby. Oh, my God.

That was just a big woman. Tully weird. All bets are off. All bets are off. That is off. And by the way, in some point during this, when everyone was doing this, this little kid investigation,

we check back in on the police who legitimately are just sitting around eating pizza there's a scene of the police eating pizza yeah they're eating pizza Patrick Dempsey doesn't like to leave that office he's... Well when you got a cool kiss me deadly poster or pizza everywhere I'll leave either You got a sexy fox on your couch

Yeah, okay, what comes to you? Fuck that! I'll let the news reporter and the actress playing the news reporter figure it all on that's actually where Parker Posey shines in this movie is like imitating what she believes to be like air-headed Gail

Weathers. Oh, that's great. She's so great. She's good at a job. You know what? Like slashing movies like this don't need like it has a method of killing non-formly characters. A huge house explosion. This is the facts machine

scene, though. This isn't the facts machine scene. So they cancel the movie. They're like, listen, Jenny McCarthy's dead. that black guy vanished. Nobody knows. Patrick Warburton got stamped. Oh, yeah, he's the bodyguard. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't happen.

The weird thing about this movie, it's very new nightmare where, like, the movie's Craven's New Nightmare, where the movie wraps, and they're like, the movie's canceled, it sucks, and everyone still keeps hanging out together. Like, everyone's going to everybody's house and hanging out, like, it sucks about that movie.

Hey, you want to watch a movie? No, these are actors. I mean, it's maybe some of them are friends, but they're not all best. Especially if you didn't finish the movie because then you don't like come together and really bend through something. Yeah.

This is just like, hey, that girl we all hate got killed. And that dude whose name I didn't know, Fanish. All right, you want to get a pizza? Want to hang out? You want to get a pizza at the police station. Police station pizzeria. It's deliciously. That's a winning idea for a television show.

That's a little L.A. secret. The only good pizzas in the police station. Only in Hollywood. Regional. So we're having a, our movie got canceled party, and we keep getting these faxes that quite possibly ghost faces in the house because there's a bunch of different versions of the script, and nobody knows who's next because we're going through the versions of the script.

It's probably the actual script, right? Because he's doing so many of them. This is probably a candid moment. Oh, it's a meta-joke. I'm going to steal a shit. of them trying to figure out what's happening as this movie. I've got to film them all

looking so confused. You did it again, you're a little genius. So everyone's like, oh my God, the killers in the house that's run out of the house. But the one actor is like, no, I'll learn if I keep looking at these faxes. And what this does is speaking of new nightmare, it's that same bullshit thing where it's a magical script

that you read what just happened to you? So you can pull him it out, these like, moustachioed actor pulls the page. out of the fax machine. What? I just did that. I can't see.

Let me just get this rickety lighter. And it's like, uh-oh, there's a gas leak. And it explodes. And it's fantastic. It's a good explosion. It's a nuclear bomb. I have never seen this big of an explosion before. Yeah, this is not a gas-related explosion.

This is like, holy shit. We wanted the block to go up explosion. It like hits the San Andreas fault, the big one starts Finds how big this is It's so big It would cause the big one Big enough for the big one

The Eric's sister's Is that when I fall down In Los Angeles It's intense Yep So they all fall down a hill Because that's what the explosion does to everybody

And Emily Mortimer's almost killed Puddy's dead this point. Yeah, but he just get stabbed up, like, by Scott Foley, I guess. By the way, spoiler there was Scott Foley doing it the whole time.

I guess you can overpower Patrick Warburton in this universe. Yeah, right, dude. The weird thing about the whole, all of the screen movies is everyone get a good punch on ghost face, but then they keep running. Like, if I get him down,

ground and pound, and he's going to drop that knife. No, you know what, though? He may or may not be supernaturally in this one, he might be a ghost. you're right. Yeah, it would actually be a ghost face. A ghost face. You know what one of the

most terrifying moments of this movie is? It's like, Neff Campbell's on the set, and she's like, wow, this looks like my friend's house, but he's dead, and this is weird. And she's walking around, and she walks into a bedroom and the scariest thing you ever see in the movie,

hanging on the wall is a creed poster. And they're just all, like, shirtless, just in this fucking postage. Greed is all over this soundtrack for some reason. It's a problem because they reconstructed her own bedroom but put a

creed poster in there? I'd fucking sue. If you painstakingly remake my own bedroom but the only detail you deem to change is put a creed poster in there, fuck you. By the way, Cindy, sell soundtracks. I was so

mesmerized by that creed poster. I looked up the screen three. soundtrack. Track one, Creed. Track two, slip-knock. Okay. Orgy is on there. It's a real time capsule of how bad music was in the 2000. Oh, it is the year 2000

the motion picture soundtrack. That is for sure. There's static X is hanging out. Everybody remember static X, right? Is there a stained? There is a stained on there. What's that song there? Let the Bodies.

hit the floor. Oh, I don't think we were up to that yet. No, I just sure. Was that in this? I think so. Was I asleep? Yeah, it played during that copy machine.

That's when the big one was thinking of that. Scream 3 on the copy machine. So, yeah, the ghost of her mother, like basically, ghost face gets under his sheet and literally starts going, whoa! And she gets really scared.

Like, the guy walks to the doorway with, like, a bloody body bag on, and the movie totally plays it, like, here's a girl. I was like, no, it's clearly just not ever going to be a ghost. It's not ghost trapping me. And that voice box he got straight from Jafar somehow has a buck on it that can make it sound like somebody's dead mother. Like, how, where are you? I can understand, maybe.

The ghost has to be real. It has to be. You capture the ghost into the machine. Oh my God! That's totally possible. It's not a big zone. It's maybe a little bit possible.

It's a West Graemean movie. It's the third one. I think it can happen. So there's a bunch of Scooby-Dooing around, and then we wind up in the Scooby-Dooey's location. They're throwing a birthday party for the director, Scott Foley, because the movie's been canceled,

and only the actors are going to go to this birthday party. Only the actors will go to this birthday party, and I seriously think the sign on the door to this house just says Lance Henriksen's orgy layer because if you ever want to get a good look at an orgy lair, it is this house.

There are so many candelabras. Candelagas, a whole lot of a mahogany. And nothing but secret passages. Remember the first movie where it was like, oh, this is suburbia gone mad? This movie has ghosts in secret passages.

If Pinsett's Price was still alive, when this movie was made. Like, he would have come out of one. And then, like, Rom, yeah, and just closed it. This is not realistic even for me. It was a way,

who, what a bunch of bullshit. Just close it. Yeah, we're all, all these, everyone's being systematically killed, so let's all go to a big, creepy house to celebrate a guy I barely knows birthday. Hey, free cake.

It's true. What people will do? For a freelance, and purchase king. They have several scenes in this movie where they just talk about his non-stop parties. And there's a lot of, like, Lance Hendrickson getting a question. Like, you fucked her, didn't you? You know what's going on? He's like, listen, there's a whole lot of mistakes that were made in the 1970s.

That's one of the fashion. And it's super confirmed that this is like an orgy layer because Parker Posey gets killed in a mirror room. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, a whole lot of double-sided mirrors in a little. game pleasure. Yeah, two-way mirror into a bedroom, like the film Absolute Power. Oh, yeah. Nobody saw that movie, huh?

No. Good night, everybody. So, yeah, they just start getting picked off. One of the hilarious things is I legitimately watching this movie was like, they seriously just forgot about that black dude. Like, he just vanishes after that first scene

where he's like, man, I hate playing the black guy. And then they're like, oh, you hate it. and then he's at this birthday party and I feel like the other characters in this movie were like um they invited in he already left before it was

going on this guy because he showed up to act he didn't show up to go to your goddamn Scooby-Doo case her and he gets the Scooby-Doeyest death of all and that's the price of not playing the role he's like stabbed and he's like running through the hall with a gut wound and he's running on this, like, gorgeous, like,

you know, long carpet runner. And the fucking killer is just like, ah! Yolts the rock out of the hundred, and he does like a triple lifting breaks his neck. But Shaddy, Scooby, and Scrappy Dew were able to run in place fast enough to be okay to see.

Yeah, we're deaf for them, thank you. I'll challenge you. I think the Scooby-Dooie is death you could ever have as being stabbed in the back by Jonathan Winters, and then the Harlem Globetrotters fuck you to death. That would be the end of it. That would be, it's a pretty damn Scooby-Doo.

That is a Scooby-Doo way to go. If there ever was one. Batman and Robin just watched. We're not getting involved in this, Batman. No, we're not. Phyllis Diller's knock out of the door trying to come in. They're like, no, don't bother. Don't let Phyllis Diller in here.

Keep her outside with Jim neighbors and the rest of this. Can't be us that cartoon had for the whole reason? Delicious. Dillericious? Nope, let's keep going. So, I mean, we're... For some reason, he,

the ghost face, instead of killing Corny Cox and David Arquette, ties them up like a Scooby-Doo, like a Scooby-Doo would. I'm going to tie you up like a Scooby-Doo. Oh, my God, he's deranged.

He's calling everything Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Dat. And he, he, He calls up Neff Campbell and he's like, you know, I'm going to kill your only two friends if, you know, if you don't come, you know, to certain death essentially. And she's like,

I'm just about to finish the pizza. I don't know if you've ever had it, murderer, but it is delicious. Can you hold on a minute? And I still think I hate Gail Weathers. I don't know. I think I do. Yeah, goodbye. You know, if you don't have to go back and forth so many

times on whether or not you hate somebody, just let me die she's fucking she's just person in your life she runs to the rescue and this is the beginning

of Patrick Dempsey's major contribution to the movie which is keep getting knocked out like every time he comes in he's like

I got it and somebody hits on the back of the head his head his like raw meat at the end of the face is hamburger he's been shot

a couple times and about this time Lance Hendrickson is executed right oh yeah that's right They just cut his throat. And then he's thrown him onto his goddamn shianic carpet,

let him bleed out. Bleed out of all those stains that are stupidly still there. All those 1970s stains. Yeah, that's no wine. Lance Hemmixon's leftovers. It's disgusting. So it's her brother. It's her half-brother.

It's this whole fucking thing. Who's a film director who decided to make, to sign on to direct this movie of his own half-sisterous. Murder, it's something. Something. What we're explaining here, what I was saying before is why Scott Foley is responsible for

the whole thing, as we find out. We were so curious in the first place, that he went to the town and was like, hey, you're my mom. And she was like, your mother's dead. I'm a different person now. It slams the door in his face. And he cries about it. So he films.

The mother, like, cheating on the father, and that's what, like, sets up. the dude's off from the first movie so he's like claiming responsibility for this whole thing. Who cares? Why are you undoing all the shit that you set up in that movie? I hate when that happens. It's just as like,

you know what? We had this totally great thing but in this movie, negated. Fuck it. Apparently he sat them down and he was the mastermind. He negotiated the whole thing. Who gives a shit? I'm sorry. This dude is like he's about to celebrate his 30th

birthday or something in that. So like, This, like, college-age kid comes up to, like, some high school kids, like, hey, you, uh, you want to see a tape or something? Or you want to, uh, kill my mom? It's just this weird, like, Dexter thing. I'm like, I'm going to teach you how to use your rage or whatever. The knife goes in the body. All right, good luck.

Done. Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to mastermind this whole serial killer. Oh, no, no, I'm going to be far away. You, you are going to do it. I'm going to be following. I'm going to be making motion pictures in Hollywood. It just doesn't make any sense. Like, at the end of that first movie,

when the two of them were there and the jig is up, I'd be like, by the way, there's this other dude that came in here, it was like training us. He kept asking us if we were obsessed with movies. He said it wasn't necessary, but would help our chances of getting hired.

It just doesn't make any sense, you guys. It's so dumb. Do you think he's the guy that calls Aunt Jackie to be part of Scream 2. Oh, yeah, you know, that might be. Lori Metcalf. That's so superhero shit in that movie. There's no way she's lifting

Jamie Kennedy off the ground to pull her into that band. Jackie's not that strong. Yeah, Roseanne's put-upon younger sister is not fucking bench-pressing Jamie Kennedy. I thought I'd watch that. The old fan was in that one, too. He was. Yeah, yeah, he was Mickey.

They don't need to remember that. so neb campbell pretty much kills scott foley and cold blood like oh yes she shoots him like five times in the chest right and guess what doesn't work he's got a bullet for a vest on but he's disarmed and he's like oh my god all right let the police take me she's like no i'm gonna stab me in the heart for it yeah like he's unarmed she's like got it pinned it's over and she's like you know dunzo right through the heart presumably but then he somehow gets back out They always come up, and the best thing you want to do is if you're surrounded by people with guns is charge it them with a pair of scissors. Because that's going to end really well.

So she yells at what, Dewey did it, to... Could you shoot my brother, his head glee? Could you just shoot him in the heads so this movie can get over with? This is two hours, this film. It is a two-hour sequence. And I think about, like, 90 minutes that we find out of the killer is,

and the rest of it is this end scene. It's just running around Linsman and R Us. So it would be less fun than you might think? More fun if they added, like, the Benny and Ill themes on, and they kept running through the secret passages. And like a mummy came out. Better movie? Totally a better movie.

Would anybody recommend this movie? No, I think it's somehow the worst of the Scream movies. And I think the Scream trilogy is somehow worse than the Matrix trilogy. Like, honestly, the Matrix trilogy, at least it's trying stuff. You know, it makes up a whole bunch of. garbage every time, but this movie's like, hey, remember this is the last one? Let's just do that again, guys. It's a lot of fun.

Let's just try it again. Well, that's generally what the sequel does. Yeah. I guess I don't agree with that. I mean, at least the Matrix sequels, as terrible as they are, they're visually different things

happening. Yeah, different characters. I mean, screen movies, man. I'm not recommending. Well, I wouldn't recommend it either. And I'd say, though, here's why I think you got a point, about those Matrix sequels being better. It's three words. No, Jamie Kennedy.

Jamie Kennedy, as far as I know, is not in any of those Matrix movies. Wait, I think Ed Jackie's not in the Matrix movies either. Oh, and that is scream-free from the year 2000. Thanks for coming out, everybody. Check us out as WAP Podcast

on. See you next time. Thank you.