We Hate Movies - S4 Ep130: Episode 130 - Stay Tuned

Episode Date: November 5, 2013

In this week's episode, the gang kicks off November's "Stay Tuned" month with 1992's witty send up of television culture, the aptly titled, Stay Tuned! How does John Ritter not immediately know that Jeffrey Jones is working for the Devil? Who thought these show parodies were funny? And why does the Lord of Darkness need a television network? Plus: Don Pardo and Robert Stack impressions abound! Stay Tuned stars John Ritter, Pam Dawber, Jeffrey Jones and Eugene Levy; directed by Peter Hyams. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Chris Gavin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. If you are joining us for the first time, you are joining us on the first week of our

new endeavor entitled Stay Tuned Month. If you are familiar with the show, you will know that throughout the show's history, we always seem to reference other movies, bring up other movies in conversation, and we find one that we're talking about, that we're thinking like, wow, this is also dog shit. We'll then say, you know, we'll stay tuned for that one. So we figured let's put our money where our mouth is this month. And every episode in the month of November is going to be a movie. We have stayed tuned at some point in the show's history.

So what better place to start than stay tuned. Unlike our Sally Mae accounts, we are finally repaying this debt. You know what I mean? We kept borrowing and borrowing and putting it off and putting it off. And we got Maury in and he checked over the books. And he said that there were just all these open accounts. He's like, there's a sliver of the account, there's a stay tuned account. And I mean, really, we have to be frugal now.

We have to be efficient with our funds. Lest a shady credit agency buy our debt, which is what you don't want to happen. Yeah, please don't buy my debt away from me. Don't do me that favor. Ah, so stay tuned, 1992, directed by Peter Hymes, Peter Hymes, who also served as his own director of photography in this movie. I don't think I've ever seen that happen. That's Soderberg. Soderberg does that.

But under a fake name, though. Yeah, he doesn't. Really? Oh, that's weird. A fake name. And, like, the Coins use a fake name as the editor. They edit all their own movies. But this is just like, I fucking shot it and I directed it. And this is stay tuned. 1992's greatest comedy ever, right, audience? I don't know how proud you want to be about how this movie looks. Because it just looks like plain old early 90s dog shit. It looks like a fucking scene, like the entire movie looks like a scene from 30-something. do you mean 30 something to life oh shit all right see if people haven't seen that movie

no one's getting that joke because we haven't got there yet so we better get there so this movie is about john ritter is a is a television addict he's addicted to tv it's the dumbest thing i've ever heard it's a thing we were really worried about in the 90s it's like are we watching too much television what's too much television uh-oh and we're going to make a lot of bad parodies of bad tv shows right so long story short uh he gets sucked into a television system that's owned by the devil and operated uh by the devil's number two played by noted child sex offender geoffrey jones playing himself in this movie yeah this is what geoffrey jones is going to be sentenced to and he inevitably dies and goes to hell

for being a child molester or whatever happened, taking pictures of kids. I don't want the Jones, I'm sure he's got rabid lawyers. He didn't molest any kids that we know of. He just took a lot of weird pictures. A lot of weird pictures in underwear

and exercise gear and whatever other sexy little outfits. I believe you call him a shutter man. Hi, I'm Jeffrey Jones. Shutterbug. Anyway, that guy's a scumbag. he's in this movie. Speaking of scumbags,

for people on the East Coast, some, I guess he was like a rock DJ just got arrested for being for like soliciting sex with a seven-year-old girl, and I love the New York Post because his name was Dan Herman, and it's just around Halloween, so the headline was

Herman Monster. Kids! I didn't hear about that. Oh, yeah, some guy's just, he was like, he got stung, you know, one of those good old fashioned to catch a predator's sting. Oh, yeah, he got Chris whatever. He was like, he was trying to solicit some seven-year-old, he was it going through the mother of some seven-year-old girl, like, hey, come to my Hawaiian island or some such thing. And it just did not work out in his favor. Sidebar, it's pretty impressive that a New York radio DJ owns a Hawaiian island.

I don't know if he owned the Hawaiian Island or some, he just, he leased it, you think, maybe. He had a Thai bungalow somewhere. That makes more sense. That one I get. So stay tuned. Okay. It starts off kind of like David Kelly or Richard Kelly's The Box. A little bit.

Yeah. It's almost the exact same start, which is here's this like, you know, domesticated suburban household. But this time it's John Ritter instead of Cyclops. And a shady figure comes to the door. And it's Jeffrey Jones. selling TV equipment. I'm not opening the door in the middle of the night

for Jeffrey Jones pre or post scandal, let alone a beheaded Jeffrey Jones. He's got like this sinister fedora. He's dressed like dark man. He looks like the black spy versus spy.

Yeah, he does. I'm not opening that door. I'm not opening the door for Arnold Vuslu or Liam Mason. But like, this one of the first. whole addicted to TV thing is so fucking stupid. So he's like watching TV. The kid, the kid, they have two kids. The son also serves as the useless narrator for the

beginning and end of this movie. And the son explains that his mom is a successful so-and-so in the pharmaceutical industry or something. And John Ritter's a loser who can't sell plumbing supplies. He's like a traveling salesman, which I guess still happened in the early 90s. But I was thinking about it when I was watching it. I was like, that's definitely a profession that's more or less dead. Oh, to the internet butchered that. Oh, yeah. All of that. So I guess, like, they're on hard times marriage wise because she's very successful and accuses

John Ritter of being jealous of her success. And to, instead of, you know, and I guess it, to this character's credit, instead of drowning his sorrows in the bottle, he just drowns it with cable television. But this dude is, like, comically obsessed with TV. But the weird

thing is, like, they say he has a TV obsession, but a lot of the times he's just watching old movies. Like, I kind of feel like there's a difference between being a TV head, quote unquote, thank you, David Byrne, and or somebody that just watches a lot of movies on TV. There's got to be a difference there. But it's more than that. It's that he's a lazy fucking shit. And he's just, he throws his garbage everywhere. And he's just a slob. That's the bigger issue. If you, if this, okay, if we entered into this home and it was a really nice living room that looked cleaned up and he just happened

to be on the couch watching television every day and maybe he, had like i don't know like a no pad or like just a dog there you wouldn't give a shit because he's just watching tv this whole thing is that he's got like the fucking old pizzas next to him he's got like papers from last year just scattered about and for some reason he puts a hat on to watch television that's my tv hat honey get my tv hat and yeah he's sitting in a big old archie bunker recliner and he's just not going anywhere what i love there's a great detail when he's watching TV, there's like a roaring fire in the fireplace. And it's like a really small living room. And I'm like, what fuck do you need this fire lit for while you're

watching the Seattle Supersonics? RIP. RIP, the Seattle Supersonics. I shed a tear when I saw them. Yeah. No, it's always great when you see someone, I watch like, uh, like singles. Yeah. And they, uh, they're all fucking Sonics fans in that movie. And I'm like, oh, man, that was a great basketball team. But he's, he's also a sports junkie. And, So the whole movie kind of kicks into gear when his wife, who is Mindy from Mork and Mindy, comes in and she's like, listen, I'm growing to hate your guts because you watch TV constantly and you don't fuck me is basically this movie. Her line is, I'm thinking about renting out your side of the bed. Like, that's a pretty direct threat. Like renting out the side of the bed for slumber or like playtime?

I think it's a bit of both, man. I think it's pay for play. I think it's like Jim Carrey's mother and the cable guy. Oh, just watch the television. I'm just going to go out for the night. Well, yeah, he is very lucky that she's not sleeping around on him. And she's like trying it maybe. She's thinking about it.

Like, oh, she's definitely talked to her friends at work about this situation. For sure. So she comes in and she's like, this is what's going to happen. You're not fucking me. I'm going to rent out your side of the bed. I'm going to leave. I'm going to do something. And he's trying to watch this basketball game.

and you know it's a big joke where he's like i need to tell you something very important she's like oh finally you're being open with me and he's like we're in double overtime right now and she flips the fuck out you know and she throws what i presume is a bowling trophy through this television set and he almost fucking dies right there his precious tv he sees his up he starts like almost crying you know it's he's really sad about it So they have this big blowout And she's like, I'm moving out This is it

You know, fuck you I'm going to my mothers or whatever And he's putting like The little kitchen countertop TV On top of the broken TV Foxworthy style You fucking watch He can't stop watching the Maltese falcon

He can't even take the broken television To the fucking curb That's a really good point You can't Like I understand Like you know being lazy, but you cannot appropriate broken things into furniture. That's

first step to hoarder. Like once it's just like, well, it's there. That's what I'm saying. He's well on his way to hoarder with the chips and the newspapers all around him. We don't get a wide shot of this thing. There's probably cat droppings everywhere. Oh, guaranteed there's cat shit all over this house. Collected those TV guides. Yep. Oh, they're going to be worth something someday, Steve. Didn't you know that? I have to hang on to all of these TV guides. All of them.

Honey, I'll take out these pizza boxes once I fold. them up and that never happens. No, I'm going to sell it on eBay one day. When are you going to do that? One day. eBay hasn't been invented yet. Once they invent eBay. What's even more of a reason why I haven't sold it on eBay yet? So Jeffrey Jones shows up and he's like, listen, you've won this chance to try this new

television system. And you know, point against John Ritter here because Jeffrey Jones starts off his whole spiel with like, and first things first John Ritter, you get six. 66 channels. And I'm like, well, he's clearly working for the devil. He might be the devil. He might not. It doesn't matter.

There's something satanic afoot. Just politely thank him and get him out the door. Thanks, but no thanks. The devil. Like, I see, you're wearing all black. You've got red trim. You've got like white face paint on for no reason. And you're played by Jeffrey fucking Jones.

Thanks, but no thanks. The devil. But he agrees to this free. trial because you know he's like listen i don't have any money right now because i'm terrible at selling pipes or whatever i do and that fucking bitch wife won't get me any tv money to spend so he's like well did i mention there's a free trial 30 days you know all that shit so the wife walks in with the suitcase and almost has her head explode because there's john ridder setting up this huge big screen tv and it's an early 90s big screen tv too there's fucking wood paneling all over the place

I think it's one of those like rear projection TVs. Holy shit, those were terrible. Speakers built in, baby. That's what you want. So are we to believe that Jeffrey Jones just had like two movers in the back of his devil van or wherever he came up here with? Well, here's the thing about this movie that's very weird is if we're going into the world of the devil, it's like I snap my fingers. It's bedazzled. You're going to be going over here.

You're going to be there. No, no. There's like real world technology involved. Like someone's hooking. this up because later in the movie, spoiler it, the sun hacks into hell with a fucking, with a busted up stereo because it's the 90s and that shit's adorable. I just have to take this radio apart. And hell apparently looks like NORAD.

Oh man, yeah, we'll get to that. But you're right, though. There's a dude in the backyard because, of course, again, it's the early 90s. So there's a gigundo satellite dish in the backyard. Speaking of fucking NASA or whatever. And, you know, there's a dude who's like in style. stalling it and whatever. And I was like, who the fuck's this guy?

Is he in the back seat of Jeffrey Jones car? Where are these wires going? Like, are you burying them into hell? Yeah, grown adults in the back of his man. Yeah, what do you do in there, Jeffrey Jones? Well, it's not yet midnight. It's not yet the witching hour. You're getting a little old Hector.

Better start fixing TV equipment or you're out in your ass. So Jeffrey Jones is like, all right, 666. six-day trial or whatever. And he's like, all right, enjoy your TV. Enjoy your devil puns. Talk to you later. And there's a ridiculous, like, Jeffrey Jones is in his big black car, and he's, like, driving down this road where it's, like, closed off due to construction.

And through the magic of poor computer graphics, the road opens up and the car drives in and drives into Doom. Yep, just goes right in. You're like, oh, okay, so we can 100% confirm that he is in some way affiliated, with the Lord of Darkness. And apparently they have great parking in hell. Because he doesn't want to have that looks like a nice Buick he's got there. It's a big old black Buick, a big old boat car. A big wide spacing.

It's just weird. Like, this hell is a corporate, like, you've got a lot of different hells when you think about it. You brought up Doom. That's just sort of, we're on an abandoned spaceship hell, which is a hell I don't want to go to, see Event Horizon. Which also has some kind of ruins inside the spaceship. It just makes no sense. That's your doomed planet hell. Don't want to go there.

You've got your corporate hell. It's in this. There's a couple of corporate hells in the movies, right? Doesn't Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey kind of have a little bit of a corporate hell thing going on? Absolutely. I believe so, yes. It's kind of a thing of the 90s is like it's kind of funny corporate culture and the devil. Do you get it?

It's funny because it becomes more of a heaven thing, like in the late 90s into 2000s. a lifeless ordinary, that's how heaven is in that movie. Oh, you're right. And it is in RIPD, too. It's RIPD. It's totally like the police station office thing. I was about to say even in Tooth Fairy 2, the afterlife is very office-oriented.

The aftertooth life, to be fair. Hey, you're right. So he's watching TV. And watching TV, you better get some chicken. Hey, cool. I like chicken. I was about to chastise you for really wedging in that impression, but it's totally fine. Hey, you started it, motherfucker.

Yeah, but I didn't do Hey, cool. I purposely didn't say, hey, cool. Well, excuse me. No, I'm saying, I'm saying you're right. I chose poorly. We haven't said it in a while, and it was a very welcoming noise in my ear. One of the things about this new TV, and it's a super 90s thing, by the way, This episode's subtitle is, hey, remember the 90s?

We'll get a green screen backdrop. We'll bring in Hal Sparks. We'll just talk about all of it. VH1 is sponsoring this whole episode. And we'll run it in 10-hour blocks. Yes. But, oh, hey, Mo Raka, come sit down. Mo?

Sorry. The remote control, we couldn't get bigger and badder enough with our remote controls. Oh, if you had a remote control that was. was the size and girth of a baseball bat, you were the king of the neighborhood. The idea of the universal remote, it was just the biggest fucking thing ever. We could not get enough of it. And, you know, now we're, we're, that's fading because you've got shit like Connect and the PS3 version of Connect where it's all just motion sensor and you're, we're talking to

our smart TVs. So that's going out of, out the window. But you're right. The 90s, man, holy fuck, we loved our remotes bigger and better. And handcuffed to that idea, like, fled style, is the fucking recliners in this movie. Oh, yeah. Because fucking John Ritter is on this recliner that must have nothing, no less than 20 shit stains on it. And then- That's a lot of shit for a chair.

I'm just imagining, like, there's a lot of nights he can't sleep because, you know, she's, you know, not having it. And he has to go down there and he's just like, fuck it, just like plops down and just, eh. Well, I would argue that he can't sleep because she wants to fuck him and he just wants to sit in bed talking about the most recent episode of Frazier. I think she doesn't give a shit. I think it's like the most, no, it's more unlikely the last rerun of lonesome dove. He has to talk about it again. Or fucking, you know, leave it to Beaver or TV land or whatever that shit because that's what this movie all, it's all like 70s nostalgia crap is this entire film. crammed into the 90s, a la the Brady Bunch movie and whatever the fuck else you want to talk about in the 90s.

Well, I guess it's it's kind of genius casting on their part to put John Ritter in this movie and, you know, we'll get to that part a little later. Subsequently, also the woman from work and Mindy. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, all right, so he goes, the signal goes out. He goes out to the backyard, just to see if he can fiddle with the satellite dish and whatnot. She comes out and she's like, this is it. I'm going. you're never going to get this again

and then the thing starts kicking into gear because she starts beating it with a shovel which is great she's like oh yeah you like your fucking TV you like your fucking satellite dish and she starts bashing this thing she's like Sharon Stone and Casino she's a hurricane man she's just

not going out without a fight like you will pay attention to her and so this thing like kind of malfunctions and it it sucks the two of them into the TV into the TV airwaves, the devil's playground, whatever you want

to call it. And now the rest of this movie is, it's three things. We're watching John Ritter and this woman go through the channels and go through their little parodies, which become less and less parody-ish as they go along. Then we're cutting back to the kids trying to find mom and dad, and we're

getting the worst blackout jokes you can find. And we have Jeffrey Jones in his strange love room doing corporate hell with Eugene Levy and other people. Eric King from Dexter. Yes.

In a really bad fucking kind of Flav-a-flave kind of haircut. Yeah. Who is he on Dexter? He's in the first couple seasons. He's dokes. I don't know. That character in this movie is interesting to me because he's, again, and this doesn't make

any sense because we're all working for the devil, but this guy is a recent a USC film school graduate who's interning at a television station owned and operated by the devil located in hell and he got this internship i mean what a get kid but it again and Steve you and I were kind of talking about this before this is one of those movies where it's like oh watching tv so stupid and then it's just the dumbest fucking movie of all time compiled along with that is this idea of this kid is like this film school graduate and he's

He's like, oh, well, actually, my last job was arranging in Akira Kurosauri retrospective, and Jeffrey Jones is like, we have no time for art film discussion here. We're just killing people. Do you get it? We're just killing people. To which I say, get to the fucking killing. Like, why all the setup and all of the gig gags and whatever else? There's, why the puns?

There's one and a half kind of deaths in this movie. Yep. That's all you get. Like, fine, you want to make a movie that's like, this is Satan's fucking television network? That's okay. I'm okay with that. It's stupid, but I'll go with you as long as Satan is waving his devilish red finger all over that movie. No, doesn't happen.

This is a very tame. I think this movie's PG, too. It is. It's, yeah. It's that, it's that leftover, like, 80s PG that, you know, it technically probably should have been PG-13, but, you know, early 90s we were still kind of letting that shit slide a little bit yeah i mean like i think it's the same thing with hook like hook like hook's like 91 i think that's pg but today that would definitely be a pg 13 movie the famous one isn't like jaws like g or some shit well yeah that's the

set that there's the 70s you could fuck somebody for a g like so long as nobody like as long as it was consensual it's a g as long as you showered beforehand we'll show you on screen so their first thing is like a rasslin match no the first thing is like that's not the first one the first one's like a game like a show oh yes it's like a game show thing where it might be dipped in acid or some who cares it's all bad saturday night live sketches with like mad libed with devil things like it's it's all it is and that's interesting steve that you brought up s and l because this game show that they go on the announcer is fucking don pardo yep like all of a sudden you And now, John Ritter. And you're like, what the fuck are you doing here, Don Pardo? Don't you have some place to be? Like, fucking New York City? Ladies and gentlemen, lock up your children.

It's Jeffrey Jones. Musical guest, Satan. Oh, man, I love Don Pardo impressions. That is a fun game to play. but i mean it's it is it's this game thing where like you get a chance like man hell has like the biggest fucking handicap there is death they just so many people die if in this world he's just looking for new ways to like get them but like not even in the real world just like he has this tv like i don't get it i really just don't get why this would happen the logistics of it are

When you sign your contract with Jeffrey Jones, you go into the hell dimension and you're on, stay tuned. You go to the film, stay tuned. And you have exactly 24 hours to outlast the devil's machinations from channel to channel. And if you do so, you get sent back to Earth. If not, you die and you go to, I guess there's a real hell somewhere. Yeah. There's a lower level. If you die in the game, you die for real.

Yeah. I think that's exactly what we're dealing with. Because, yeah, they're in some sort of weird, like, purgatorial kind of location where this television station is, whatever. So, yeah, we just, we bounce around for all these different things. Let's talk about these two shit-eating kids for a second. Oh, good God. So we got the young boy. He's a nerdlinger.

He's your Nick Zelensky type from, uh... Nice reference. From Honey I Shrunk the Kid. Yep. Because he's just a nerd and he's got... He's a genius inventor. Kid inventors went south, didn't they? We haven't seen a good kid inventor in a while.

Yeah, we haven't had that, and I'm okay with it. Yeah, you could bury that. I mean, like, yeah, top secrets like the high mark, I'm good with that. Yeah. That's the mountain. Yeah, I don't need it because it always made me feel terrible about myself because I was like, oh, you're a genius kid inventor, and I'm sitting here watching a terrible movie. I'm just a fat kid in shorts eating Doritos.

It was hotter in the 90s. You wore shorts all the time. We wore shorts all the time. And this movie was on HBO all the time. I haven't seen this movie since, like, the late 90s, but I have seen this movie a fucking lot. Drinking a lot of country time lemonade. A whole fucking lot. You know, buddy, just powder and water.

And you're fucking sitting pretty, cool it off in those hot 90s summers. Let that shit. roll down your necks your various necks as you stay tuned for stay tuned Hey mom stay tuned is on again

it feels great they play the same five things I've seen this movie oh good I don't have to talk to you for another 91 minutes I've seen this movie some like well over like 25 times I'd say wow yeah that's more than me but good for you I had it on tape and that shit

got worn out. Now, Steve, you and I are kind of the, like, the wrestling experts on the show a little bit here. Are these wrestlers in this wrestling scene anybody? Because I didn't recognize them. No, I wish they were. I thought that announcer was Brutus the Barber Beefcake. Oh, no, I'm sorry. The only person who's in the movie is, uh, the announcer is Captain Lou Albano. Get the fuck out of here. Oh, yeah. Replete with, uh, super boss beard with the rubber band that keeps it separated, which is what you want. That is what you want. All right.

He kept a Lou Elbano. Yeah, the actual wrestlers aren't anybody. The guy kind of looks like earthquake and the woman kind of looks like Luna Vashon. Think about that. Nice work. I was talking about this the other day. I have not followed wrestling in 15 years, but the center of my brain, like all of the alcohol that's deadened to other things that are really important.

Like the wrestling information is that is like standing on a bookshy. Do you know what I mean? Like everything else is getting wet and soppy, but all that wrestling information is just sitting on that bookshelf. I like to think of it more as a jawbreaker and like the alcohols just worn it down into this tiny little nugget of hard shit that won't melt away. And that's your wrestling knowledge right there. Yeah, you can leave that little bit of that candy ball inside a fucking ice cold cup of

Dr. Pepper for a week and it's not eroding any further. yeah that's wrestling knowledge that's just what happens it's a brain on alcohol like i'll know that triple h and stepheny mcman were actually married it's just a thing you know you just do you're not going to forget that shit mr paul levesk himself hey uh speaking of used to be married to people the daughter in this movie used to be married to james vanderbeak really yep that's something but yeah the the sun is we're kind of going a little bit well the son is that's fine see we're just channeled

surfing through this episode. Hashtag suicide. The son's your Nick Zelensky type. This girl's fucking Blossom. This girl, she's wearing Blossom hats. She's ethnic looking. We are going for Blossoms Blossom here. But I never thought I'd say this. This chick makes Maim Bialik look like fucking Shirley McLean. Like this woman, at least in this movie, I know she's done some other things more recently, including giving Brad Ren for a bad blowjob. In a movie. not i mean maybe in real life but in apt pupil she was also on um what was that program ironically enough with uh i think john ritter's son was on it the event was john ritter's son on the event or was he on the other one think he was on the event yeah that's weird oh she was

on the event she was an event she was part of the event her and eight other people i want to go to this bad blow job for a second if we can yeah it's one of cinema's greatest bad blow jobs because it's at pupil, Brad Renfro might be a Nazi, Ian McKellon's teaching him all the wrong things. And, you know, he's having a 90s party with this girl. And, you know, we're in a car, and it's just that thing where she keeps going up, like, anything happening? Anything happening? Back to it.

No, nothing, huh? Nothing yet. Is there a switch somewhere? Do you need something done with your ass? Check, check, check. Check, check. Hey, maybe think about genocide. Hello?

What's your deal? Still thinking about hating Jews, huh? Yeah, that's an awkward scene in that movie. It isn't very awkward. Can you hear me in the back or are there too many dead Jews back there? But so, my point was, in this movie, she's horrible. She's a horrible. actor in this movie. Yeah, she's bad, and she just couldn't look any less

like John Ritter or his wife. Like, yeah, his son is at least like really just, he's so generic looking he could be anybody's fucking white kid. Well, because that's the other thing, right? Like, she's a teenager and whatnot. He's still just like a little dweeb, and he's got big old glasses on, so you can kind of cover up how a kid looks. Yeah, like that young and big old glasses on him, but she's like supposed to be like 13 or 14 or 15 or something like that she looks like neither of these people it's really heinous uh and she's just she's supposed to be like your your your teenage like older sister and it's the fucking worst

shit ever it's the worst kind because the one that thinks that uh you're that her siblings are even hitting on her she's one of them yeah it's the worst type it's the it's your your uh your classic archetype older sister younger brother dweeb get out of my room stop sniffing my underwear for some reason well you know this girl might have a case against this kid though because like the the opening minutes of this movie is this kid is saying how he's such a genius with electronics is explaining that his father is constantly watching television all this shit he hacks the tv signal in the neighborhood or maybe the state i don't know and he's got a camera on himself and he's like hey everybody if you want to see a tape of my older sister making out with her boyfriend and total tonsil hockey send $3 in an envelope to this address and I'll send you the tape

and she's like, what the fuck's going on? Dude, I'm telling you it's totally worth it. I've been watching this tape for weeks. It's really good. Hi, yes. I'd like to order a tape, please. Name? Jones? First name?

Befrey. Beffrey Jones. I would like to purchase your teen sex tape. If you'd like a tape of my sister, trying to trying in vain to get Brad Renfro going. Dial 1,900, Aft Pupil. Man, 1,900 Apt Pupil, that's a shitty phone line to be on. That's also run by Befrey, whatever the fuck.

Beffrey Jones? Beffrey Jones. Beffrey Bones. That's his porno day. On the whole line, it's, all it's playing is, don't you want me, baby. this episode's brought to you in part by rocket money and they have this question for you they handed to me just now mr rocket just handed me this do you know how much your subscriptions really cost most americans think they pay around eighty dollars a month on subscription services

but the actual total is closer to two hundred dollars if you don't know exactly how much you're spending every month you need rocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. And with rocket money, you could lower those bills without resorting to having bean dinners every night of the week. You know, you have those bean dinners to try to save some few bucks. But if you were monitoring your spending with rocket money, you didn't necessarily need to eat every bean dinner. So find out what all the fuss is about, you know? Over 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about, like the Starz app. Don't get me started. You don't have to

go through all the back end of the website anymore. You don't have to call customer service. Rocket Money helps you manage all your finances in one place as well and categorizes everything. It's easy to keep track of the whole budget even I can do and I got rocks in my head. So find out

what 3 million people have already done. They've taken the rocket folks. Stop throwing the money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash WHM. That is RocketMoney.com slash WHM.

Once more, RocketMoney.com slash WHMHM, which stands for We Hate Movies. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, my 20s, while being a lot of fun, a lot of the time, were pretty rough. I wasn't exactly rolling in dough. I lived at home until I was about 25, and for most of it, I didn't have this show or you lovely people in my life. I just kind of drifted around without direction and didn't know where to voice that. Then I started to get my crap together one piece at a time, and the last piece, which didn't come until my early 30s, was therapy. And man, I wish it came along sooner.

Ever since I started sitting down as a licensed therapist, I've had a place to voice my insecurities and try to fashion plans to help me achieve my goals. So that's why I'm thrilled were sponsored by BetterHelp. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, and it's designed to be flexible, convenient, and suited to meet your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and the good thing is you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash WHM today to get 10% off your first month.

That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash W-H-M. Oh, man, so they're just stuck in this TV. Yeah, I mean, the first, they realize they're stuck in the TV. We should also get to Eugene Levy. Oddly enough was in career purgatory at this point. It was like, it was after the 80s, but Christopher Guest was a long way away. Christopher Guest and... American Pie wasn't until like 98-99.

The White's brothers with the first American pie in 99, man. It was a ways off still. That is a long... Eight years ahead of you, Eugene. He wasn't making movies with John Candy anymore. Candy only had a couple years left on this earth. God damn it. So this is Eugene Levy out on his own in the wilderness.

Like, SCTV people were, like, throwing him bones by giving him, like, cameos and stuff, like Father of the Bride. You know what I mean? He shows up in that movie. He would just, because he's a funny actor. He's fucking hilarious. He's a guy, and I was thinking about this movie because it's very similar to this movie, UHF. Michael Richards will elevate anything he's in. he'll make you laugh in UHF

which is not a very good movie you will laugh your ass off to Michael Richards Eugene Levy just kind of is a chameleon because he takes the shitty shape of whatever he's in yeah and he does that with this movie he's like Jeffrey Jones number two for fashion until he mouths off and then Jeffrey Jones banishes him

into the television system so John Ritter and his wife run across him in this one TV show that's like the wilderness it's northern exposure Northern, what did they call it? Over exposure. Northern over exposure. So they meet on the, I guess the set of a parody known as Northern Over Exposure, which is, of course, Northern Exposure, which was a show about a big city doctor who moves north to wherever Alaska or Canada or wherever it is.

And like every four episodes, there was a moose joke. That fucking show ran on goddamn moose jokes. It really did. It ran for a long time, too. It went forever. That show was, you know, there have been worse television shows, man. I've watched a little bit of northern exposure here and there. But so this is, it's northern overexposure.

Like, all the TV shows in this universe have, like, the devil twang to it. So this is about a doctor who moves from New York to the mountains and is attacked by a pack of rabid wolves or whatever the fuck. So they're, like, running from these wolves. Great wolf acting in this movie, by the way. It's a menacing good wolf, good wolves going on. And finally, a dream of mine. Man, the magic of movies. You get to see Eugene Levy torn apart by rabid animals.

Like the wolves come and they're like trying to hide in the shanty or whatever. And they like the couple gets in and Eugene Levy's like, well, I'm already dead. Save her. And these fucking wolves just go at him and tear off a leg and an arm, which is fantastic. And yeah, he's assumed dead and that's okay with me. Totally fine. I mean, even though, yeah, we sort of know him to be this, I guess, already dead. Satan's little helper or whatever, but

yeah, you know, I would have been fine with him just never coming back to this movie. Well, because that's what I don't understand is like, what the hell is supposed to happen to? You're already, you're in hell. Where are you supposed, what's, you get ripped apart, and? Isn't that? Well, he continues to exist. Part and parcel of the experience of hell. Right, but

that's the thing. He continues to exist, and he's still Eugene Levy, and he's talking to everybody, but he's missing an arm and a leg and has to like hop around and shit, so while, I guess that's his, you know, torture. Well, Mindy, and John Ritter slide to the next channel

Yeah, we kind of get like a slider's vibe from this, like we're going from channel to channel because they find conduits, they call them conduits, it's just the fucking snow on your TV when there's no connection, you jump

through that, you go to the next channel unless you have a remote control with you, the almighty remote control that you can zap yourself from channel and channel. But if you're just some some remoteless loser you've got to jump through these conduits. You think Hellraiser's watching this network

or what's going on? What are the centibytes up to in this universe? I feel like the centibytes would probably tune in for some of the late night programming. You know what I mean? Like the stuff that gets a little more hardcore. Like I feel like... Ooh, Skinimax. Yeah, exactly. You know, like Pinhead and his buddies do not really have time for northern overexposure.

You know what I mean? I am actually more of a fan of serialized television. Sitcoms just do not do it for me. I enjoy PBS biographies from hell of people like Jeffrey Jones. Downton Abbey is beautifully directed. No, it would have to be like, I don't even know. Come on, we got to do it.

Like breaking beheaded? Breaking beheaded for sure. Maddening, madman. Mad Men. What's Damton Abbey? Come on everybody. We've got to get it. Helton Abbey. That would work for this movie. Screamton Abbey. They don't

have to be genius. You know what I mean? Brimstone Abbey. Any of those will work. Well, how would you work on something like Hell on Wheels? They really fucking did it to you right there. They just carry over the exact same product.

They just, you know, use fish hooks and open up your islands and make you watch all of that show you know the strain of your job must be tremendous you ever think about taking a vacation just kicking back letting someone else take the burden off your shoulders for a while someone else you i'm flattered that you'd even think i could fill your shoes but i'm ready to try sir he's like this super like idealistic like ambitious slash shitty intern who's like going after Jeffrey Jones' job and whatnot. And I'm like, isn't this movie about a couple surfing through TV channels?

Why do I need, like, the newsroom-esque fucking dialogue scenes with this intern and the station manager played by Sam Waterston or whatever? God damn, the newsroom. You could just fucking pile it somewhere and keep it. I haven't seen a second of it. Put it up there with your old board games. When you know you have to, like, slide something into your closet. God, we got so much shit in this closet.

You got to move the towel with the gun inside it, and that's where you put the newsroom. Right under your DVDs of John from Cincinnati. John from Helen Addie. Oh, the ghoul's room, by the way. Hey, what would they do for Deadwood? Again, that's another thing. Dead good. Dead good would work.

Scream on. Hey, so, this is stupid. If you go to the IMDB trivia for this movie, it says that this movie was inspired by an episode of Unsolved Mysteries and doesn't elaborate any further. Just that's why I. I don't know. And I know that that show, like that show,

The reason I love that show is because it's like, Tonight we're talking about two things. A murdered woman in a suburban home and aliens that are also werewolves. That show really had like an unbalanced fucking scale when it came to topic. So that's why I have no idea what it could mean. Like tonight we're talking about a suburban couple on the verge of divorce who got sucked into the devil's television network. I kind of imagine it's just a story about some kid who thought he saw people that looked like his parents die on television.

When in reality, they had just abandoned Little Billy. I just, who fucking adds that to IMDB? It doesn't elaborate. Also, where are you getting that information from? Tonight, we watch a Hollywood actor take pictures of little boys and get a visit from Dracula. Stay with us. riveting stuff I just

it is such a random thing to put out on the internet I want to know more and I don't you know if anyone knows the key to unlock this mystery this unsolved mystery maybe you should click it

interesting on the IMDB maybe that sends you to a whole other world nah that's a that's a hell world I don't want to so what I think we should do because Chris you have the list handy we've been talking about these parodies

can we just go Because folks at home, if you want to lose some brain cells, these parodies are pretty wretched. I want to lose some wrestling knowledge brain cells, but it won't happen. Chip away at this jawbreaker a little, Chris. All right, let's start with, obviously, Reep's Company. Not the Reaper's Company, Reeps, for Threep's Company. Yeah. It's called the Reeps Company.

That's the one part of this movie that I thought was pretty fantastic. He goes, John Redder gets blasted onto the. set of three's company. It's a pretty accurate, you know, reimagining of the set. You know, two girls walk in, you know, but they're in the background so you can't really see him and whatnot. And they start playing the theme song, and it's a fucking

great, I think this was in the preview too. John Ritter, like, turns to the camera and just does this hilarious John Ritter scream. Come and knock on a door. Where have you been? We can wait for you. You get to see some

John Ritter physical comedy in this movie a little bit but like the direct reference here he falls over his sofa like it's fucking hilarious it was a legitimate laugh for me. The three's company gag in the trailer I remember it was the um like after they say the title the last gag

before they show the credits. Oh was it? Yeah I remember that shit. Okay so after that is Dwayne's underworld this is I mean the 1990s The amount of Wings World parodies is staggered.

It's a staggering number because it's, and it's a weird thing when you're making a parody of a comedy because it's just, you're just cashing on on that comedy's jokes. Right. This movie does because they're just, we go to Dwayne's Underworld. Which is, which is a sketch inside a show called Saturday Night Dead. Hey, everybody. Do you fucking get it yet? Folks at home, do you fucking get it yet? And by, if you want to hear about how cheap this fucking movie is, the place that they, the, the quote unquote studio that they're in, it looks like they're there for like a tractor show.

It's like these fucking shitty ass like bench, like stadium seats, but it's not like what an actual studio looks like. Why not just have that kind of reality there? Maybe. Who cares? To be fair, the devil has 666 channels to fill and no advertising revenue, all right? There's just, there needs to be cut somewhere. Satan, I just wanted to run some notes by you that we got from the start of this season. A lot of people giving you criticism.

The cast of Saturday Night Dead is not diverse enough. You'd like to see some sort of monsters on there, maybe, some of your hellscape beings, maybe a couple of black comedians as well. Preferably black women, Satan. All right. There is Saturday Night Dead. They're doing a fucking Wayne's World parody. apparently

they approached Mike Myers and Dana Carvey to come on to do like the zombie versions of themselves but great for

those guys they were actually making the first fucking Wayne's World movie so they had to say thanks

but no thanks to a cameo appearance on stay tuned so you want me to eat my ear huh okay well

I'm going to say no to that you know what I'd really love to be in your movie Peter Himes I really would but we're

actually busy across town making a soon-to-be classic comedy and it would appear from first glance and I don't want to come off judgmental but it looks like this movie will be forgotten by time almost instantly. We're making movies for all of America. It seems like you're making movies for fat kids who love great soda. I mean, I don't know if that's not really a market for us. I mean, I know the Kool-Aid market is something you want to go for and I mean it's a Big market. Don't get me wrong. It's humongous market. But I'm gonna go over there and I'm, you know, I'm just gonna try to actually put some effort in. You know how we do that. Put effort in. Hey, another one of my favorite parodies. And by the way, it's not just television parodies. Oh, no. The commercials get a couple of ribs in too with silencer of the lambs. Are you tired of having your kids just yelling in the backseat? Well, there's new silencer of the lambs. Hannibal Lecter Massey. You fucking put over your kid's face to shut them up hilarious my my only almost legitimate laugh that actually gets um they dub over it very clearly is beer for kids and it's like yeah it's this kid

drinking beer and it's like you know it's got no alcohol in it but it makes you into your real dad and she's like how's the mother's like oh how's it going and he's like get me another one bitch but they cut out that and it's his mom like you know it's babe yeah yeah no this kid is clearly calling his mother a bitch on this television commercial. I just kid swearing. I'm chuckling. Don't worry about it. You get me a good kid's swearing movie. You know, and I liked

this movie enough, not this movie but the movie I'm about to reference, but one of the best parts about this movie was kids swearing that 8mm, or what is it? Super 8? The JJ Abrams movie. Yeah. It just harkens back to that Spielbergian in 1980s. Kids just saying shit and dumbass.

Oh, that's a lost art, isn't it? It's done for. It really is. It's done for. I'll actually I thought the one laugh you would have would be the dog with the silence of the lambs mouth got it. I thought that's where you were going to. I'm a dog person. It's fine.

And also on the movie list is three men and rosemary's baby. Oh, is it bad? What a bad joke. Oh, man. That's just bone-chillingly terrible. The golden ghouls.

Facts of life. report oh my god by the way the best one of these runners they have is unmarried with children which is just like what is it hell to be unmarried with children oh that's that's uh the catholics hour oh yeah and i thought you would be specifically offended by this one uh when they have uh beverly hills 90666 yeah i actually thought this i was like steve's gonna hate that i did hate it i fucking hated it you know what it would have been the Andrew Juppin equivalent if they had Hell Rose Place.

Oh, see how dumb it is? That's all this movie is. It's just MadLibs. It really is. It takes, and it took Andrew three fractions of a second to make that joke. And I didn't get paid anything. Someone got paid to write those.

There was another, oh, different strokes. And it's just a show about old men having strokes and dying in different ways. That was kind of like, all right, yeah. Kind of is really hitting the nail on the head with that one. The weirdest one to me, just, well, I mean, like, I know he's probably going, if, you know, if there were a hell, he would be going there. But, like, David Dukes of Hazard. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know about that one. And then, I don't need to think about David Duke in any capacity. Well, a lot of these, like, we've actually probably gone. through most of the ones that are actually in the movie. So we are bleeding into the ones that just happened

over the credits where it's just a screen cap. This is an amazing thing because what this is is the rolling the credits and over on the side like the credits are scrolling up the right hand side of the frame. On the left hand side of the frame it's like the devil's television network fall lineup

and all it is is the rejected fucking joke titles that they didn't get to film parodies of and it's just screenshots of the title cards and they just go by one by one and it's supposed to be like you're putting your coat on in the theater, you're still just laughing

your balls off. Because even the writers got bored with doing this shit. Because eventually it becomes not even parodies. It's just like kind of what you would expect a TV show to look like. Like the western and the cartoon, which has no title, it's just fucking Tom

and Jared. The cartoon is the best part of the movie. The cartoon is the most fantastic part of this movie. It's very, it's like a very chuck jonesy animation style chuck jones supervised oh did the animation sequence oh that makes perfect sense because the the gags are good the added like the style is perfect and it's it fits that old warner brother's thing it's it's a warner brother's movie they're able to get those kind hit those kinds of beats and it just doesn't last very long and then after that we go into a noir movie where it's just john ritter doing noir jokes uh yeah it's just him as a shitty p i and the wife is

like hanging out with this old fellow who also we've learned at the beginning of the movie as like a neighbor of theirs who got roped into the system with his wife and his wife is killed off in like a Godzilla ripoff movie so this guy's like this guy is kind of like

he's kind of like Jeff Bridges in Tron Legacy because he's been in the system for so long now and he's kind of like built this life inside this artificial thing like this dude is living at this like Copacobab Bana type club, you know what I mean?

Like, it's his, you know, it's his Rick's joint kind of a thing. He's the main dog and whatnot. It's, it's kind of great because he infers that he was kind of like, that he was like in on it with Godzilla to bump his wife off. Yeah, he is totally happy with his wife getting

stomped there. So, there's a big shootout, you know, whatever, this dude gets killed. And the important thing in this scene is this old fella gets killed and he's like, you know, here, take my remote. You'll do better with it than I did or whatever. So now they have the ability to flip through channels and whatnot.

And they get, this movie falls off a cliff. The longest parody of this movie isn't even a parody of anything at all. They just go to the French Revolution for no goddamn reason. Yeah. At least make it like Les Mizz and fucking sing or something. Like what are we even doing here? We're not parodying anything. Back home, Billy is, you know, is telling his sister, you know, like, you know, mom and dad are in hell.

you know she's got three pornos going Brad Renfell's got nothing going on so she's like I guess I'll go downstairs you know you know what Brad you just finish it I'm going to go downstairs and get my mom and dad out of hell what I find kind of interesting is like the the mother

leaves a note on the fridge for the kids when she's going to leave John Ritter and it says like you know had to go out for a while you know be back soon hope you kids understand and they think that the parents have gone on vacation right So this girl, having no real information about her parents' actual whereabouts is like, oh, weekend, you know, free of parents, time to invite all my friends over for a pajama party.

Because it's like Blossom. Like, again, like, it's the Blossom thing. You know what I mean? It's like my little brother's a dork. You know what I mean? You know, everyone's against me. I'm going to have this pizza party. You actually just reminded me in the beginning of the movie, one of the shows that John Ritter is watching is Dugie.

Hauser. Oh, yeah. And it's that episode where he's telling his dad how he's sick and tired of going on this hunting trip with him or whatever. And he's like saying some shit about like how he could have been somewhere on spring break with his girlfriend, but he's just like hunting with his dad. And poor James B. Seeking is just like, I didn't know you felt that way, Douglas. This is fucking heartbreaking. Uh, or the hell dimensioned version, Gouley Howser. I was going add ghool to anything i can is that that's going to be my ticket to say ghouly hauser r i p ha ha yes perfect write it it'll star ryan reynolds how about slit by slit that could also be a porn well that too i yeah i apologize for that but and brad renfroes just got nothing going man

still just nothing he's not even at half-mast yet it's just a fucking it is just a fucking it is empty tent you know what uh can i just go hang out with my old friend this clearly isn't working so we're in the french revolution and the kid hacks the hellnatt and you know he fucking he's negivering it you know he gets his sister's radio and she's like not my radio and you know everything else and he is able to speak through to the french revolution they're about to fucking finally cut john ridder's fucking head off and i'm like yeah yeah yeah Do it. Do it. Yeah, this kid's like, hey, dad, and like all the people in the town square are like, oh, it's God.

And they're like, the parents are like, yeah, it's God. Right, God? And the kid's like, what? I'm a kid. They're like, no, it's God. You know, and so like, they have this thing where, oh, and that's the other thing we forgot to mention. There's a timetable in place here. This whole thing is a 24-hour thing.

We talked to it. Oh, did we? Oh, I'm sorry. Well, you know, the time is up, essentially. And it's funny that you said that this movie goes off a cliff because Eugene Levy, they run into him again in this French Revolution show. And he clearly says to them, he's like, oh, hey, so you only have two hours left. All you have to do is lay, he tells them to lay low and do nothing. He's like, you know what? Stop having your adventure for two hours. When the time's up, the movie will be over with. So just sit in this corner and don't do anything. That's kind of like, G.G. Levin, like, look, it's great. You know, you got craft services. Just sit here. Do nothing. They'll pay you anyway. Don't worry about it. What are you trying so hard for, kid? So the time runs out. And then Jeffrey Jones pulls a little bit of a shit-eating move because this woman comes in and she's like, the contract that John Ritter signed was just for one person. You know, this woman's got no obligation here or whatever. Only let John Ritter out of the hellscape. It's like this lady's still stuck in there. It's such, this is such a, useless thing and I hate when movies do it it's like I'm going to leave someplace for two seconds and then immediately just go right back because that's all that happens here. He gets out and he's free and the kid's like

where's mom? Oh she's still stuck inside? Back in I go. I'm like what the fuck did you leave for? We're just killing time. We're running time off the clock and we're getting ready for the only time this has ever happened. It's the best thing that this movie contributes to cinema

history which is Deus X Salted Peppa which is Salted Peppa the 90s rap band decide the fate of this film

they do they hold it in their hands and they because there's a big stupid you know it's the early

90s we're kind of living off back to the future three so we're doing a Clint Eastwood parody of

a western movie right and make a 310 to fucking Yuma joke why not and then we

go to Star Trek next generation kind of okay with this part as well. They're pretty good costumes. But what gets kind of stupid about this is he starts seeing Jeffrey Jones at every turn. Yeah. So, like, he's on the bridge of the

enterprise and he, you know, John Ritter's dressed up like Patrick Stewart. And he looks around and like the Wharf surrogate and the data surrogate and the Riker surrogate. And the Q surrogate. There's a Q surrogate? Yeah, he's the one that's attacking. He's got all that shit on his head. It's all, it's all Jeffrey Jones. Yeah. Just in different. I'm like, what the, what are you doing? Like you have not introduced

Like I get it He's a supernatural entity But you've not once introduced That he can be multiple people And just for whatever reason We get to Star Trek And he's just every character on the bridge Scare Trek

Is it Scare Trek? I don't know Scare Trek The Dead Generation And so we finally get to this Salton Pepper music video And I mean We paid for Salt and Pepper

You're gonna fucking sit down and watch a whole performance. The whole god damn song. With musical guests, salt and pepper. On the turntables, Jeffrey Jones. There is Jeffrey Jones in a fucking windbreaker suit with a fancy haircut, just fucking scratching. Yeah, Jeffrey Jones is dressed like that,

and John Ritter is dressed in, like, this kind of, like, I don't even know. Like yellow stud. Like fly girl. outfit. It's a Queen Latifah costume. Oh, I see. Is what I thought it was. I'm pretty sure that's in one of the Queen Latifah

music videos. I'm pretty sure there's like a yellow jumpsuit of some kind. I might be wrong, but memory kind of serves correctly on it. Also, what are Salt and Pepper doing in hell? I mean, like let's talk about sex just came out there. The hottest

thing in the world, did they die in a bus crash. I mean, they did. Is it a Richie Valance? kind of a thing? Are Salt and Peppa all over the road? They got sent to hell? No, I think you're thinking of Lisa Lefti Lopez. Oh, it's true.

She wasn't dead yet. But, uh, yeah, I don't understand why this is the only instance of real people. Yep. In this hell network. Like, what does that support? Like, is this movie saying that the only reason Salton Pepper were, were famous was not because of the rap talent, but because they made, they made some sort of development. deal with the devil?

Well, no, it's just because they're fucking lazy. Like, there's nothing... Wait, the filmmakers? The filmmaker? Well, the filmmakers specifically. Because Salt and Pepper worked their ass off in the 90s.

I believe they're in Mensa. But the thing is... Are they? No. Like, in the fucking... In the noir, and in the... The noir, the Western, and in Salt Pepper.

There's no, like, fucking, I don't know, dragons. or, like, zombies or vampires, it's just kind of straight-laced. Oh, yeah. Why did we go through all of the macabre shit just to, like, all of a sudden,

take this left turn into normal television land? Well, that's the movie falls off. It can't even fulfill its puns. You know what I mean? Like, the only time they do that is the quick blackout jokes, and we're exploring what this world might be, a hell network. But the rest of it's just like, I don't know,

it's like TV, but, like, you can get killed in it, which is not the reality you set up. And also, I'm sorry, but this is a hell television broadcasting system, whatever. And you're going to go to a music video. And it's not some crazy like metal band or something. Yeah, or thriller. Yeah, it's fucking Salt and Papa just rapping. Like, what are you doing?

There's so many other, like, closer to the devil. Like, hey, speaking to Wayne's World, why not an Alice Cooper music video? Yep. There you go. I just fucking save the end of your dumb movie. Also, this magical remote that Jeffrey Jones and John Ritter are trying to acquire to, like, get out of, you know, or whatever. The dancers in this video all have, they have the remote, and they're like dancing and passing it off and all this shit. And I'm like, I'm supposed to believe that this is a music video that you've just popped into.

Yep. But nowhere in this universe does it ever establish. that any of the actors on the shows or anything are aware that it's anything other than a television network. So this is just a music video. These are dancers in a music video. How do these guys know what this

remote is? They're passing it around. And it finally gets to Salt and Peppa, and they have to choose between John Ritter and Jeffrey Jones and DeSL X Salt and Pepper. They hand it to John Ritter to save the movie. Oh, also, by the way, because the wife is back in the western

Snydley Whiplash-style. tied to the fucking train tracks and there's a bunch of dynamite around her and the train's coming in. Yeah, it's just who cares and he saves her. Because this does bring up a thing with me with this movie is that the wife has really nothing to do with this movie. She doesn't have a trajectory

at all. She's great when she gets pulled into this fucking hellscape. Yeah. She is kind of fine. The person who needs to fix their life, the script is centered on John Ritter, needs to fix his life because he's fucking up left and right well you know not for nothing but actress pam dauber was used to that man she did 90 some odd episodes cast alongside robin william

i suppose that's if you if you ever had to learn how to play second fiddle on a television show or smoke a cigarette in the back while someone just riffs and riffs and riffs yeah pam dauber was used to what's going on in this movie but that's such a better movie to like have like okay a morgan mending movie well don't even fucking tease me oh i love it i would love that so much no like the idea of like he has to go into these tv these shows to learn something right he has to go into dougie houseer and he has to actually operate on somebody like fucking you know decaprio and catch me if you can right like he's actually got to do something like that and he learns some kind of skill or some kind of emotion through that shit nobody's learned

nothing, Chris. We're losing it all because nothing... Like, he gains no experience from this movie. At the end, he winds up not wanting to watch so much television anymore for no good reason. But he doesn't gain anything. You're right. He doesn't...

He doesn't save his wife. His wife doesn't even... They don't even reconcile, really. But here's the thing, though. The whole mission of this movie is to get people to watch less TV, right? That's the overarching thing. Is America on the

whole watches too much TV and it doesn't even have to be good TV we can show you these dumb ass you know devil related sitcoms or you know dumb game shows and you'll just watch it because you're a bunch of airheaded Americans and you know you need to get out

and watch smart films at the cinema like fucking stay tuned so the fact that he learns to watch less television this movie deems itself a success because it did the only thing it actually it doesn't give a fuck that she's about to walk out on him because he won't

fucker. It's not that he's watching too much TV and won't fucker. It's just that he's watching too much TV. And yeah, that makes him a bad husband, a bad father, bad at his job, all this shit. But it doesn't matter. As long as he stops watching so much filthy TV, stay tuned

as a success. Yeah, it doesn't account it to anything else. The fact that he's like, he's willfully neglecting his children and his life. Like he really gets off on it. Like, it's not like oh my God, I'm a TV addict. That thing don't exist. Well, I got my other kids.

Doogie and Blossom. I gotta take care of my TV family. Kelly and Bud, they're not going to take care of themselves. I'd love that. That's a great movie, by the way. He starts getting so delirious that the lines between television reality blur, you don't need any of this devil hellscape nonsense. Honey, how do you expect me to get it up for you when I've got Peg Bundy on the horn all the time?

Just asking for it. All right. Here's a question. Round the horn. What do we think about Pleasant, Phil? Because fuck that movie and fuck it right in the face. And fuck the fact that we're painting things. And when you come, your hair turns red or whatever the fuck happens in that movie.

I don't like that movie. I know. I'm alone. I don't like it. I mean, it's not like I'm not fuck that movie and fuck Jeff Daniels and fuck painting things. But I'm not crazy. crazy about it. You know, you know what you could do? You could prop up Pleasantville in your closet to hold up the newsroom. Just jam it in like a soccer ball holding up a board game. Like that's, that's what it's doing. Leftovers of your weed stash to the right. Some snow boots. Your old ugs. And the new Ironside remake just tucked away.

Oh, that already got canceled. Of course it's it. More like hell side. I don't know. So the other thing that this movie does give us, and it's kind of a blessing, is a fight scene between John Ritter and Jeffrey Jones, because they go into like an Errol Flynn,

Three Musketeers. Yet again, we're nowhere near a television show. No. And they kind of like sword fight each other and whatnot. And they have a little bit of like rassling around on the floor. and I just imagine like Jeffrey Jones being like

oh John oh John you're tickling me John you're tickling me John stop tickling me is someone gonna call Carter what oh poor

you know fucking Jeffrey Jones is a great actor and I will say it right now every time we make fun of him on this show we always go back to it's frustrating because he's a great actor

I watch I rewatch Beetlejuice for my little Halloween athon and he's so good in it he's just so good in that movie he's fantastic in that

speaking of Halloween movies ravenous. That is some fan fucking tastic Jeffrey Jones in that movie. That's around the time of the troubles. That was around the time of the troubles. I think you're right. David Bilch was kind of all right

with the troubles because he got hired post troubles on Deadwood. Yeah, you're right. David Wilts is like, fuck it. Read my monologue. You know what? Everybody forgets. Jeffrey Jones is in the hunt for Red October and he's got a beard and it looks really weird.

Is he one of the many people not doing Russian accents in that movie? Yeah. Just thumb in their nose of the Russian people. He's one of those guys who's just explaining what a submarine is. So we're left with John Ritter saves his wife. He hits the off button in the direction of the train, and the train blows up because fuck it. And then they escape out the satellite dish, leaving Jeffrey Jones hanging from a

Candlear with their neighbor's dog, who subsequently gets sucked into the satellite, barking at him? It's hilarious. Movies do this a lot because it's really, you don't hire vicious dogs in movies. This is the most sweet-natured Rottweiler. Every time, like, they have, like, really, and, like, the face is this dopy dog smiling. It's really amazing. He's just like, I love you. It's so funny.

And there's just like this little bit of revenge where like Eugene Levy is hiding in like a knight's like iron suit or whatever and he like hops over and uses a sword to cut the rope that's holding the chandelier. And I guess Jeffrey Jones, you know, falls to his death, slash gets eaten by this dog. But he's in hell fucking anyway. It doesn't make any sense. He's in his place of employment. And for some reason the intern becomes the head of the hell network, even though. the entire movie, this poor guy's got two lines. This Johnny Fever-looking motherfucker

is standing next to this intern taking notes. It's like, come on, dude. Fucking own it. Scrode up. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. And this dude, by the way, who was so condescending about the whole system in the first place, because he was busy programming Curisauer Retros.

It's like smoking a cigar, and he's got, like, the Jeffrey Jones, like, flashy remote that pops out of your shirt, sleeve. That's just a thing. Everybody will sell out. Everybody will sell for a dollar. That's what's going to react. Corporate world.

You're right. You're right. You'll take your passion away. You can be the biggest fan of, you know, international art cinema, but you will fall to the fucking delicious, delicious, delicious, sexy temptation of TV. No more of the bed will sleep well for you. Well, I mean, the good thing is John Ritter finally learns his lesson and opens up a fencing studio.

Like you just, uh, that's what you do. That's what being a couch potato is holding back. Was this fencing studio? What's amazing, this is, this is, this is, this is so, so stupid. But at the beginning of the movie, when Jeffrey Jones comes in, the first time, like into the living room and he's looking at the broken TV, John Ritter has like two swords, like fencing swords above the fireplace. And Jeffrey Jones is like, oh, did you use to fence or do you fence? And John Ritter's like, oh, I used to, not anymore or whatever. Hey, why is it all this dried chocolate

pudding in here? And I'm just like, oh, well, that's a ridiculous thing to have a character say. I wonder if fencing's going to come back at any point. And of course they fence each other. And then he just... And that's fine. That's where it should end. Right? Like, you... The sun throws

one of the swords through the satellite and it goes in, John Ritter gets the sword and he gets the sword fight Jeffrey Jones. That's where that shit ends. You don't take that to, I'm also going to open a fencing studio. It's a failed business.

It's immediately a failed business. And it's actually kind of the thing that what really happens, which is nice, is I think this wife is just like, I know you hate your job. You literally do not have to work. I make enough money. Just deal with it and not work and follow your dream. I'll sink $70,000 into a bad fencing studio. Fine.

If it makes me happy, I make real money. And if you're feeling, honey, if you're feeling, honey, if you're feeling generous, I could also just call my friend at the Y and see if they need an instructor for a fencing class every once in a while instead of buying an entire fucking studio where you're going to have four

pupils a day to fucking fence. I mean, it's a nice looking place he's got. It's set up pretty nicely. And it's a little bit of a student body there and he is, we cut to him and he's fencing with like a little girl

and the lesson's over with. and he says something like she says something and then he's like that's great remember don't watch too much tv little girl she says uh oh she's like she does some stupid move and he's like oh that that move is stupid you should have fenced better and wow what a great instructor and he's like where uh where'd you learn that move and she's like oh i saw it on television oh that's right yeah presumably watching the john ritter show all right little girl you shouldn't watch too much television and if geoffrey jones comes to your house you've locked the fucking door. I'm serious. You lock the

fucking door. Do not I don't even care if he's a little associated with the devil. Just lock that door. Heidi ho, I heard someone here is a little fan of fencing. Don't take his VHS copies of Beetlejuice. He's giving him to the kids. Just don't take them. He won't

have you. Hey, here's my VHS copy of Beetlejuice. I call this one the Jeffrey Jones cut. A couple of added scenes in it. A couple of dance numbers. side note to Beetlejuice I guess at the end they just let Winona Ryder be raised by ghosts yeah that's kind of that's it we just yeah right that's fine these ghosts are going to raise you now

I mean Catherine O'Hara and Jeffrey Jones are still living in the house yeah they're kind of they're taking back seat to that ghost parenting though it's like a my two dad's situation you know my dead and undead parents well I just yeah I think they're like handling the money end And, like, you know, my first period or end onward, go to Gina Davis and Alibald and the dead people in your fucking house. Right. Sidebar on you not knowing how women work. I'm pretty confident Winona Ryder in that movie is long past her first period. I just don't think she's talked about it yet. I wouldn't talk to Catherine Aher about it either.

She wouldn't get to talk to Jeffrey Jones about it. No, thank you. Well, just tell me all about it. Just sit right down. Did I give you my copy of Beetlejuice on VHS yet? But you know what? Beetlejuice has some pretty good devil puns and some pretty good death puns. And it's literally the goal, it's a Phil Hartman sketch versus the mad TV sketch of this film.

And it's just pure mad TV. Side note, how many times do you think Phil Hartman turned down, stay tuned? I would say at least three times. They were like, come on, Phil. Because it's kind of handpicked for him. It's 92. He'd been on SNL for, what's that? Like, six years at that point.

Like, he could have been the game show host. He could have been Jeffrey Jones for sure. Yeah, he could have done any of those. Yeah, he said no to this movie. I'm pretty confident in saying that. Well, I think they did that. I do believe that they did the casting on purpose. Oh, yeah.

Trying to get the other. Like, I guess it probably, no, I didn't pass Mike Chickliss's desk because it's post-wired, right? Yeah, well, this is, he's knee-deep in the commission at this point. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's busy being on an okay TV show. I guess I wouldn't recommend this movie. Yeah, that's it, by the way. I mean, he opens a fence.

He learns his lesson and finally opens that fencing studio. That he's always wanted to do for the last five minutes. Yeah, it's, there's nothing here. I mean, see the last 71 minutes of this podcast to read into this, Chris. It's not funny. It's not funny. And that's the whole point of the fucking thing is it's supposed to be funny. It's not funny.

So it's a big no. If you like some of the worst puns in recorded history, look on the Wikipedia page for this movie. Yeah, exactly. Don't even watch the movie to find them. Wikipedia has pulled them all out for you. and listed them accordingly. Yeah, I would not recommend this movie. It's not funny.

I would watch another Jeffrey Jones movie that came out the same year, which is Mom and Dad Save the World, which is kind of just the same movie as this a little bit. It is. It's a weird, like, companion piece to this film where Jeffrey Jones was doing, like, high-concept bad movies. Like, really high concept. Yeah, it's Mom and Dad Saves the World.

It's kind of like this movie, but replace all the devil with, like, aliens. Yep. And a bonus for Mom and Dad Save the World, you got some John Lovitz floating around in that movie. Now, wait, is the mother from Mom Dad Save the World the same mother from Mr. Mom? I want to say it's Terry Gar, who is correctly. It is Terry Gar, yes, that's correct. Yeah, so go watch Mom and Dad Save the World or, you know, any other Jeffrey Jones movie, but this one.

Yeah, I mean. To a point. I mean, let's not get nuts. I'm sure Jeffrey Jones is in some terrible movies. If Jeffrey Jones wrote and directed that movie, do not watch that movie. And lock the fucking door if he knocks on the door. If Jeffrey Jones personally handed you a movie that he said was a Jeffrey Jones movie

Don't take it Throw it in the garbage It's worse than the tape from the ring Also throw away who's my caddy Oh that is a real post To the troubles Jeffrey Jones movie No that was the end of his troubles Because he fucking locked himself away

Has he been in anything since that? No that was his last movie Are you serious? I'm almost positive on that Man talk about just throwing it away I mean I Would he Alright here's

Here's an interesting question To kind of end this conversation on Right If the troubles Had not happened Uh huh Is Jeffrey Jones still making movies And TV today?

Oh yeah I would say yes With a caveat That it's kind of hard To ever guess What a character actor's career Is gonna be like Right

There's always that window You know what I mean Like you've got your Paul Giammati Who's a great character actor Who's just gonna be The Rhino in that next movie You know what I mean Like you kind of have

window like Kevin Spacey's kind of this way I mean Kevin Space is kind of did leading man stuff but like people that Stephen Tobolowski I mean even though he's kind of out of I mean you have your windows your pockets and here's here's where I bet you he would have fit because you're right it is like just it's hard to predict the life of a character actor but television has come around to the character actor my theory he would have been on on Mad Men in some capacity they would have found a role Jeffrey Jones. Maybe he's that fat guy that says that he'll make that deal.

He works for the Jaguar dealership. But he's got to fuck what's her name? Joan, yeah. He could have done that. By the way, you are partially right. 2007, who's your caddy? He's the bad guy in that movie. Oh, and Terry Cruz is in that movie. But here's an interesting thing.

Uncredited role in 2012, that Hemingway and Gellhorn movie that nobody saw on HBO. He's just floating around in there somewhere. Because it's three hours long and I can't watch Clive Owen for that long. They just needed to fill it like I don't know nobody else's around I guess

I guess we have to call Jeffrey Jones I mean I don't like it I'm not happy about it fill out this fucking screen. That's what we gotta do. There's like an intern like standing next to the producer and the producer's talking to the director and he turns the intern and he's like tell him what you just told me and the kid's like I've literally called everyone in Hollywood

The only one I have not called is Jeffrey Jones. I've even called the estates of dead actors to make sure that they confirm they're actually dead before I move on to Jeffrey Jones. See if we could use visual effects to bring them back to life rather than have Jeffrey Jones. As it turns out, it would be more expensive to CGI carry Grant into this movie.

I am not shitting you. I just got off the phone with Yahoo! I'm busy. All right? That's the end of the phone book, all right? I've done it all. I've really done my work here, all right? Look, Rod Steiger's daughter cursed me out over the phone for the very notion of what we were asking her to do.

I thought you're going to say Rod Steiger's daughter, so it's Kirsty Steiger. That makes me laugh for no reason. Oh, man, and that is Stay Tuned, the first episode of our Stay Tuned month. so Steve you are our resident hint giver I feel like this month we should be giving hints for all the episodes we're going to do for the following week because we've talked about these movies at length these movies have come up more than once

so next week give a hint as to what we're talking about I will say that we are going under the sea next week that's all that's all I'll say next week we hate movies goes under the sea if you want to get a hold of us you can find out more information about the show on our website WHMpodcast.com Like us on Facebook, and be sure to follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM podcast, right into the mailbag.

We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. Subscribe in iTunes. If you do rate and review the show there, we would greatly appreciate it. If you have the Stitcher Radio app, you can stream the first five most recent episodes of the show on the go. Like we decided we're going to just do now until we forget that we're going to do it. We're going to say, spread the word about the show. Spread the good word of WHM, whether it's through. retweets, sharing our Facebook

links, or just emailing your grandma and being like, hey, grandma, check this shit out. I think you might find it funny in the retirement home. I hate Jeffrey Jones. That sounds wonderful. Blame it on Outerspace returns this month.

Eric Siska's conspiracy theory comedy show. Blame it on Outerspace.com at BlamSpacepad on Twitter. Like them on Facebook. And they are also in iTunes and Stitcher. We are back next week going under the sea until then i'm andrew jupin stephen say that chris gabin take it easy