We Hate Movies - S4 Ep134: Episode 134 - Date with an Angel

Episode Date: December 3, 2013

In this week's episode, the gang hangs out with Emmanuelle Beart and Michael E. Knight in the heavenly romantic comedy, Date with an Angel! Why decide to make this angel chirp like a pigeon instead of speak? Is this movie really trying to say a 1987 Phoebe Cates is ugly? And how on Earth is this guy friends with those three jackasses? Plus: Peter Falk takes us in our sleep. Date with an Angel stars Michael E. Knight, Phoebe Cates, Emmanuelle Beart and David Dukes; directed by Tom McLoughlin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Siddak. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, if you're new to the program,

joining us for the first time welcome have a seat get ready to laugh man that's a disgusting thing that people say sometimes you're on a hot date tonight yeah we are on a date with an angel or just date with an angel from 1987 directed by a fellow

named Tom McLaughlin so the film is an angel literally falls from heaven after running into a satellite and falls in this fucking loser's pool and then he kind of just holds her hostage

for a while. Don't worry though. She can't explain what she's doing, what the plot is, why she wants to do whatever it is. And apparently neither can he. He just abandons his life and it's like, well, I'm just the creepy angel guy now. I'm just going to keep this person hostage. This is

produced by Dino DeLorentis by the way. Yeah, what isn't? No, but that's what I'm saying, though. You look at like a good portion of the movies this dude's put money behind and it's solid yeah i don't know what attracted him to this movie speaking of uh you know we loved fish out of water and we as and take it as far away from the realm of the natural and put it in

supernatural even better date with a werewolf date with a painting that came alive i would prefer either of those to an angel though like there's something about you know when there's an angel in a movie like that sets a certain weight to it like I'm sorry, it's a God movie. In one way or another, you put a fucking angel around. It's just a God movie. And I'm already kind of half not paying attention. Well, it's good to put it in the most amoral movie I've seen in quite some time.

Which is an interesting turn for an angel film. I feel like, you know, the filmmakers are going straight to hell. Oh, yeah. Like, if this turns out to be true, and they're like, you said what about us? They get the attention of the dark angels now, man. Oh, we loved your field. So the film stars soap opera's Michael E. Knight making his shelly long swan dive into the movies

and never coming up for air. That's how my wife knew of this movie. She was like, oh, he was a big soap dude. We watched this movie. I was like, oh, yeah, what did you think of it? And she was like, eh, which is how I feel about this movie? Do you think he put the E in the name because his name is the same as Michael Knight from Night Rider and he didn't want to be confused of that character, even though he kind of looks

a lot like David Hasselhoff to begin with. Yeah, but you know, I'd really love to be confused with David Hasselhoff. I think this dude made a mistake. Yeah, probably. But you probably got a lot of that shit in the 80s like, Michael, I don't think those pants fit you very well. Like, shut up, dude.

You're not a talking car. Only a talking car can tell me about my pants. Well, I'll say this though, usually when you see like a middle initial like that, that means there already is a Michael Knight. Yeah. So there was a dude you know who was in the acting world or the you know the filmmaking world or something that already was michael knight who was already getting those fucking jokes so he plays this

fella who is engaged to be married to one and only phoebe kates who is slumming it in this movie big time big time slum fest with this thing so they're going to get married and it's one of those like uh the the the parents of the kids are at odds which i hate it's like uh like his parents are kind of like neer do well so-and-so's and then her father's like a like a cosmetics magnate well it's sort of like that's snobs versus slabs a little bit just because it's like you got the the middle class people versus the upper class people and and that's also how it plays out with phoebe kates phoebe kates is characterized ends up being characterized as a bad person because she is from money.

And I'm the biggest class warrior there is. Eric Siska, class warrior. It's the theme song for a show I've yet to make for you. It's right after Renegade. I feel like you pitch that show, and it turns out like they're taking a different way, and now I'm just a bully at a high school. Which would be good, too.

Look, we really love your idea for, Eric Cisket Class Warrior, but we got a couple of retools we think you like even better. One, there's an angel in it. Two, there's a goofy principle. But it's just ridiculous what they do in this movie. Well, it's disgusting. Like, his

parents are like foaming at the mouth, like, you better not mess this wedding up because we're going to be millionaires, sort of. Yeah, they're just weird goblin people. I'm sorry, your your kid marrying into money doesn't necessarily give you a line to money at

all. No. It's like, what if he grows to hate your guts over time? You're not getting a penny. You can just go up to this other, this rich guy that you're tangentially related to and be like, hey, can I borrow a couple of grand? And by borrow, I mean keep forever. Hey, Alfred, give him a grand.

So, we're in this an engaging party, and it's a snobian engaging party that's like canapes and shit and like people are enjoying themselves. How dare they? There's like 200 elderly people there. They carded in the senior center. Yeah, it was like, how can

you possibly know this many old people? Like, where are these people coming from? It's the stuffy old money, man. Oh, the Witherspoons are in from Massachusetts. Yeah, this party is begging for Rodney Dangerfield to break it up, right? Oh, yes. A lot of

she must have been something before electricity type lines. Rodney would have really stirred things up. That's the way to go at a stuffy engagement party, not the way we do go, which is basically terrorists strike this bachelor party men in ski masks holding like assault rifle well like toy machine guns and you know they break in and like we want to take the boy we're taking the

fucking guy now and everyone's like oh my god look it's really violent and it's not shot particularly funny no and it's weird how they set it up so like we have this stuffy engagement party and then it just cuts to this car of masked men that we don't know that are clearly holding assault rifles and I'm like wait a second what's happening what is it I thought this movie was a someone's courting a paranormal being no what is happening it's the dark night rises

now and then they cut back to the party and like five minutes goes by and I'm sitting there like tapping my feet like holy fuck those dudes had guns what's going on here and then meanwhile like this guy's outside right like he's playing the harmonica in the

backyard all emotionally like oh nobody actually told me directly the party got moved inside and I'm like fuck you sad sack go inside and phoeb kates is like oh my rich family wants you inside so they can talk down to you some more or talk to you like I'm sorry it's your engagement it's our engaging party by dad is nice enough to throw it for us you know he's picking up the tab go inside have a drink enjoy yourself take your leach your parents off my dad for a minute totally stop sitting out in the patio pretending you're bob Dylan like what is going on out here So he, like, he starts doing this bullshit, like, running the bases gag with all the different tables out of outside.

I'm like, what is even happening right now? Are you flirting with her? Or are you fighting? Are you joking around? Are you being sarcastic? Like, what is happening here? And then he just falls on his ass in a huge mud puddle. And all the rich people are like, of course he fell in the mud.

Oh, I hope the Witherspoons didn't see that little mishap. Johnny needs a new pair of pants So then these terrorists Break into that house right And they're like yeah Like Steve said like oh we're here for the boy And they're like well which one There's like 1290 year olds

And then a couple of 40 year old dudes And then this guy he's closest to a boy Yeah that one they fucking grab this guy This dude fucking pulls a pin from a grenade And throws it in the living room and they all run out and you're like what is happening? This is it man, this is the beginning of your

movie. I have no context for any of this. No. And then it's supposed to be a hilarious gag cut back to this car and they're coming for the bachelor. It's his buddies. His best buds are coming for the bachelor party and I was like, man, I would

fucking kick every one of those dudes in the balls get out of the car and un-invite them from the wedding. You'd have to. I mean, like he's like, oh, thanks a lot guys like no you just got me broken up with and now i'm involved in a crime like also that yeah like what if some like like like we said there's a million old people there there could have been like nine cardiac arrests going on someone is calling the police if not a party goer a neighbor someone saw these men as ski masks abduct this guy there's a really hilarious moment though

we're like they're all hiding outside thinking this grenade's going to go off and the phone rings so the dad like goes inside like Phoebe's dad goes to pick up the phone and it's the dude being like hey sorry about that it was just my friends for the bachelor party and this dude like slowly puts the phone down and totally does like a shatner fucking con scream like it's like this really like animalistic like just like from your soul like this guy's really acting out of his frustration he's had a fucking hell of a night now some pinhead from his office came in with the latest figures on the advertising campaign of a perfume he's developed and it's not going well and the advertiser the advertisement Steve you want to take that one? Oh no no yeah just because of course it's his daughter and it's like fucking daddy's girl bitch and I'm like no she's just she kind of looks like Phoebe Kates so she should definitely be there's no model yeah you can put her on a billboard it's not that crazy to put

Phoebe Cates on a fragrance. Yeah, you know what is easier to believe that an angel would fall into a swimming pool and this dude befriends her than it is to believe a 1987 Phoebe Cates sinks a fucking ad

campaign for something. Nope, not a true thing, movie. As much as this film tries to make her into this goblin monster person, she's a 1987 Phoebe Cates and what are you even talking? about. Yes, exactly. It's so, so unbelievably miscast. Well, this is when she has her Mo Howard haircut. It's just, it's

not Demi Moore and Ghost. She doesn't have the right face for it. It's just like a big Bob, a big fucking mop on her head. Like it's weird. It's like the Demi Moore from Ghost, but more of a bowl cut because she's got the back really close to her neck. Yeah. But then it bowls out. You're right. I mean Mo Howard is the exact way to describe this haircut. And I'm, I'm like, all right, well, if that's the best you got makeup department, thumbs down. She's still Phoebe Kates.

Plus for me, I mean, combining Mo Howard and Phoebe Kates, I mean, it's a dream, right? It's a one-way ticket to Bonertown for you. There is a, it'd be great if they were like, all right, we need to get an actress that we can't, that no one can be attracted to it.

They get Ria Perlman and just like, Dad, I want to be in the advertising campaign. Why am I sinking your perfect? perfume, scumbag, must be something to do with the scent. The dad is also, though, like, really gross with her. It's a real, like, because when the pinhead comes in, he's like, well, I got the numbers here. And he's like, these are terrible. How could my baby's face tank this perfume?

Maybe it smells like shit. I mean, maybe it's just a bad scent. That's totally a thing that could happen. And we were looking at the copy. Maybe the copy's all fucked up. Maybe he was riddled with spelling errors. Who knows? No, it was that garbage face.

Yeah, we're just supposed to blame her physical appearance on this thing. So he's out at this Bachelor Party. We don't really see The Bachelor Party because this is not a movie about a Bachelor Party. Also, that's... I'm doing the thing with your hands that means money. Oh, the thing with the fingers is the money. He's doing the money thing. Oh, he's doing it again?

You're absolutely right, though. If we're going to shoot a big gaudy money... A Bachelor Party scene, it's going to be a big gaudy money scene. We just came from Big Gaudy Money Party. Yeah. We can only have so much big Gaudy money to throw around. So, you know, it's the couple beers knocked over, a film strip going and. But that's my point, though, is they compensate for not being able to show a Bachelor party with extreme aftermath of a Bachelor party.

Like, yeah, there's a 8mm stag reel. They just left it on. There's a bunch of beers on a turntable that's still spills. spinning. There's a blow-up doll that he might have fucked. That's what happened. He got kidnapped away from his engagement party to have his surprise bachelor party. And it ended at probably three in the morning with him humping a blow-up doll. Just this balloon burst in. I'm picturing that. Man, blow-up dolls, by the way. Keep it forever. I don't get it.

Why would you keep one? No, I'm saying whoever is trying to sell me. one keep it. Oh, okay. I don't want it is what I'm saying. Are you sure? Yeah, I don't want to fuck a balloon ever. The static shock alone. I mean, I've never do it on a carpet, forget it. I've never partook in anything like a flashlight or anything, but at least like those things, they're scientifically advanced. It's not just a fucking balloon that you can get a kid's birthday party vaguely shaped like a woman. It's like, what's the difference between what you sell at the adult store and what you sell for my kid's birthday party well one has blonde hair and lipstick and the

other one's a real balloon like it's it they're always fucking terrible it's like a balloon head and it's just so weird looking but then you start thinking about like oh man because what what this causes you to do then as this person who's trained to watch movies like we all know how to watch movies like you start filling in the blanks like what caused him to go from being kidnapped in this car to sleeping with this fucking blowup doll and i'm just picturing like some deer hunter situation where they got a gun to his head they're like you're gonna do it man this is your bachelor party did he mao did he bough slap it in the face yeah it's it's not over until he ejaculates into a balloon i mean that's a real bachelor party not this pansy crap like let's go out for a beer

and enjoy ourselves no no no you have to destroy his house put a fucking blow blow up doll in there until he ejaculates yeah that's the other thing by the way it's this dude's own home. They're like, we're going to pick you up, take you to your own house, destroy it, and then leave. Well, we haven't gotten there yet, but these friends are the most rotten pieces of shit. They're like the fucking,

they're the droogs. You know what I mean? Like, come on my droogies. Like, they're just agents of chaos. Here's the thing. Alex and his droogs, way more charm than these guys. And those dudes were murderers and rapists. I mean, they were better red for sure. That would have been

honestly, the droogies would throw a better bachelor party because you'd be out on the town that's for sure yeah yeah you would be out on the town you get a little bit of the ultraviolence always a plus always welcome as far as i'm concerned sweet fucking milk going on yeah totally dude they're going to reserve the back room at the mullah call bar oh yeah yeah totally better bachelor party than these fucking losers we'll get to these guys are kind of there might be sexual assaults sure yeah i mean hey whatever might get a little out of hand it's a bachelor party Hey, come on, Larry, it's my bachelor party.

You said you'd cut that shit out. These guys kind of remind me of, like, the commando group that's, like, against the droogs in the beginning. Oh, the people into the Nazi paraphernalia? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems more theirs to be because they're just dumber, you know? So an angel, so he wakes up, and an angel falls into a swimming pool, and is cooing like a fucking pigeon. Can we just hear that? Let's just for the reference, this is her talking.

So I think it's one of those things Kind of like at the end of dogma Like where it's like You know, Alonis Morset's God And it's like You can't hear the voice of God Because your fucking head will blow off Like I feel it's kind of like that

Like if she actually spoke In her angel voice Like this dude's pin head would blow up I could sort of confirm that Because I actually I watched this movie with the close captioning on Oh yeah Yeah because sometimes late at night I do that

And it actually says, like, in parentheses, like, celestial language. Man, what a joke. I feel bad for the person typing that up. I mean, it's just, it's a pigeon coup mixed with, like, a dolphin. With a little bit of the Sims. Yeah. And exactly. And she also, like, this is what doesn't make any sense, right?

So you can have an angel, right? There's been angels in movies all the time. Like, that's a thing. but there's never been an angel where they don't understand the ins and outs of the human world. She's more like an alien than she is an angel

who oversees the human race. Even more, I mean, she's a newborn baby that somehow got transplanted into this sexy body. Yeah. Oh, sexy. Oh, man, that girl doesn't know anything about anything. I want to fuck that girl.

Oh, yeah. It really, that's what it is. weird it's like it's specifically to I guess like a guy like this character who's just like insanely attracted to baby girls yeah it's quote Sam Waters said she doesn't have the faculties to make her own to share gobbling about fucking morality

but it's true she doesn't know anything about this world she doesn't but what's weird though is that she kind of has like the same thing happens to both of them right like they both have their own agendas his agenda is oh my god there's a woman face down in my swimming pool i have to save her and you know give her CPR and help her out and then he instantly falls in love with her her mission and they kind of hint to it at the beginning of the movie we do hear the voice of god commanding her to like go on this mission he's been having headaches and you know what spoiler alert god has a splitting headache that's what thunderstorms are it turns out this dude has a brain tumor and she's been sent

to fucking take him take him away take him up to heaven right that's a big twist that he's she's actually like an angel of death right and so she comes down with every intention of killing him and then she sees him and is instantly in love with him him and is like eh and trying to like kiss him and hold him in shit and like what the fuck is happening here and our guys are good guys did she confuse him with michael knight or david asselhoff oh my god where's your car michael that woman has the mind of a child uh michael that's a terrible idea michael stop it michael stop oh the hell with it michael i think that's Probably a crime.

Michael, you fight on the side of good. Michael, this woman's judgment is impaired. Michael. Michael, my seats do not go far back enough for you to do that in this car. Just Kit being the conscience to Michael Knight's date rape. Michael, don't make me call the police from my car phone. When kits are rocking and complaining, don't come a knocking. But he's a good guy.

Yeah, of course he is. This guy's a good guy because he's like, she's trying to kiss him. And, like, he's in love with her. But he's like, oh, my God, my girlfriend, you know, my fiance. I do love her. Like, very vaguely, I love her. Well, it's a weird, like, we realize one of her angel powers is, like, if you look her in the eye, you fall in love with her. She does it with his future father-in-law.

Like, this dude comes in all steamed, like, you're fucking around on my daughter. And then he sees her and he's cool with it. She also uses his power to sedate an angry dog. and this is another we talked about this a couple weeks ago where the dog is just a loving dog and they're like and the dog's just smiling it happens again in this movie

it's hard to get dogs that riled up especially like well-trained animals yeah totally they're not vicious but yeah she just she has this power about her so it's like I guess this dude tries to do the right it's a weird like cyclical thing right like he tries to do the right thing he saves her

he performs angel CPR on her right she opens her eyes and then he falls in love and it's like every time he's trying to be like oh man i don't know why i really got to get back to phoebe kates here i don't know what's happening my you know i'm supposed to be married and then he looks at her again and totally gets all doe eyed it's like it's it's a horror show when is this ever been described in the scripture hold on let me i keep it handy but i feel like when you like in this situation it's like maybe you're not falling in sexual love maybe you're looking into the infinite or something you're you're you've got it you're you're you're you know that there is a god now like yep jesus check that off and it's a different type of love perhaps perhaps you don't have to fuck everything perhaps but it's unconfirmed we might have to fuck everything it's like uh wings of desire she's peter falk I mean, co, cool, cool, I'm speaking my weird baby voice shit.

What is this garbage? Why, why can't I just talk like a man? What kind of a name is Vim? Oh, my God, oh my God, it's an angel. Can we go out together? Can I just take you out to maybe a fast food restaurant? Sure, you could give me a nice couple of, get a couple of steaks, get the game on. A couple of fine sea guys.

Maybe a couple drinks Sure, I ain't never Turned no one down for a drink Cassavetti did kill me Ain't this always how you imagine An angel talk to you With a big old fucking With a big old fucking nicotine mouth

I always imagine when I died It would be like John Cassavetti's husbands Come on Eric We're randomly getting on a plane to London Uh-oh, Ben Gazzar is beating his wife again I must be in heaven Husbands is an amazing movie The droogies show up

Right? They're like we know we ruined your relationship Now we're going to rub your face in it But they're like Oh, we'll help you clean up the house you destroyed By the way, this is a pretty crazy party For two reasons More than we've talked about

One, it says party animal on board on the door And two, the phone is in the fish tank Hold on man that is terrible isn't it like what's wait guys guys can we get everybody together for a second powwow everybody listen i don't think that this aftermath uh set up here is partylicious enough uh anybody got any ideas look at uh with that phone in the fish tank oh jerry that's why we pay you the big bucks on date with an angel now that that phone is in the fish tank it definitely looks like four guys had a party

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thing is you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash WHM today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash W-H-M. So they show up and they see her and instead of falling in love with her, they have dollar signs in their eyes for some reason because apparently somehow abducting an angel and forcing her into white slavery will allow you a ton of money, I guess. They just think it's like a fucking King Kong situation, right? Like he even says something about like we're going to put her on Broadway like fucking King Kong. And it's like, dude, what planet are you on?

And they justify it, right? With like, they're saying to Michael E. Knight here, they're like, hey, man, you're going to make Buku bucks off of this angel broad, right? Like, you'll be sitting pretty. You won't need to be under Phoebeke's dad's thumb. Like, you'll just be rich, man. Rich beyond your wildest angel dreams. Yeah. So you're going to make money off of ticket sales, I guess, is the idea.

And then they come up with a merchandise. scheme later on they sure do don't think and it's hilarious don't worry everybody the comedy really plays in this movie be be kate shows up she sees the angel she freaks out because and like yes she sees a like a bodacious babe at this dude's apartment who's just been missing and totally blew that fucking engagement party off last yeah he's totally disheveled it looks like he was having sex because he was with that blow up doll he fucked that balloon I know so she thinks that he banged this this woman this blonde woman that's in his house sweetheart i never put fingers in your boyfriend i promise i'm an angel it's uh this is just what we do we uh we spent the whole night

talking about horse racing my god that's the angel i want i want peter fogg to come for me in my sleep it'll be great but i mean honestly though listen you open the door there's Emmanuel Baird, right? Just there in a fucking bathrobe. This dude looks like dog shit. Was she a model? Is that her thing? She might have been. I mean, she's a successful French actor. She's building a ton of stuff.

Yeah, she doesn't cross over English-wise a lot. But I mean, I'm sure she was modeling at some point. But, you know, what are you supposed to think? Now, here's the dickbag part. The three stooges are walking out of the house as Phoebe Cates is coming up. and they have some line to her about like oh it was a pretty wild night in there if you know what i mean a little bit of the old in out in out yeah exactly and she's like wait what and then the door opens it's like what the fuck did you think was going to happen these dudes just were not friends with these

people anymore we can't see these guys ever again in my life i sure hope they don't sort of become heralded as heroes of the movie by the end of this that would really be a bummer yeah i sure hope that doesn't somehow wind of happening. So they go to, they're like, oh, let's go get some rope or stuff. They go to the gas station and he follows them and he's like, look, you cannot kidnap this angel.

We just need to figure out how to get her where she needs to go or whatever. And he's like, dude, the money and he's like, he says something really weird about, because you don't know what this relationship is or what this guy, this gang is up to. And he's like, look, we've always kind of push it to the edge. We've never heard anybody.

And the way he says, heard anybody, like, what are you fucking leaving people for dead like what is going on on the weekend i feel like the start of that bachelor party is not the first time they've kidnapped somebody they've played kidnapped a ton of times yeah they just do it like they drive up they kidnap somebody from a mall parking lot remember that time with the senator's daughter yeah exactly right they like drive around for a little while she's blindfolded they're just having a good laugh and then they chuck her out the van and keep driving. They always have an arm cast in the car just in case.

Oh, you need to help me move this couch, please. I'd do it with my arm and all. Yeah, it's terrible. Oh, can we talk about the scene where he brings her to church? Yes. So he's like, all right, I've got this angel. Where can I dump her? Oh, how about a church? That's where angels go. Your problem, Padre.

Do we mention that her wing is broken? Oh, yeah. That's the whole thing. When she flew into a satellite, which, by the way, means that heaven is somewhere beyond space. And when you're exiting heaven to come into Earth, you have to pass through all of our spheres and whatnot. A lot of AT&T and sprint traffic. A lot of those satellites. So she just like ramrods this thing and breaks her wing. That's how she falls in the pool.

So yeah, she's got this broken wing that he's like kind of taped up for her. By the way. Yeah. Okay. Fallen Angel. long blonde hair beauty is unparalleled me think it was lucifer

well she does turn out to be an angel of death so it's kind of close fucking morning star showed up man so he goes to this church with her and she's like all bundled up and whatnot it's like when he takes her outside it's kind of like when the ninja turtles wanted to walk amongst the people

like Raphael always put that trench coat on in the hat when he's using that pay phone Fuck out of here, Raphael. If I ever saw that, I'd be like, well, that's clearly a ninja turtle in a trench coat. But it's New York City, so I'm probably not going to get in the guy's face. Is this weird pervert walking around, this rubber suit with a fucking coat over? Right, definitely. Yeah.

It was Comic Con on all year round now? So they go to this church, and he goes in, and he goes into the confessional, and there's a really stupid gag right at the start of the scene where, and it's, the director is playing this character like a dude's like lighting candles and like he walks in with the angel and this dude's like oh an angel and he like backs into the candle and his arm catches on fire

and he just kind of walks out I'm like why is this gag here? We've got an angel problem on our hands. I think this movie really thinks it's a Blake Edwards movie which yeah there's a little bit of that going on which you can kind of keep yourself

but uh... Oh yeah it's just a personal opinion But, you know, just... Have you seen the party? No, I'm not. Okay, now, that's a movie where Peter Sellers is doing Indian face, but pretty good, pretty good Blake Edwards. Yeah, he's playing an Indian gentleman in that movie. There's a bit of brown face going on, but if you can get past that atrocity, it's a pretty funny movie.

Yeah. So they're in this church, right? And he goes into the confessional and he's like, oh, I don't know how to do this, but I got to, I got to, I got to. an angel with me. And this priest is like, what the fuck is your problem? Say your Hail Marys and get out of here or just leave me alone. Could you not treat my religion like a joke?

He's also just like, I mean, I've met several priests like this over the years. Like he's just really that indifferent kind of priest. Oh, he's not having it. Yeah, it's like, what's your problem? What? Just get out of my face. Say your Hail Marys and your Our Fathers and get the fuck out of here. So he kind of slams

he slams. As much as you can slam a door in someone's face in a confessional. He's slides the partition closed on this dude and the guy's like no really i've got an angel with me cut to this angel sees a statue of another angel she's jesus is it a jesus statue because i thought i saw some ceramic wings behind it no i'm pretty sure it's oh it's probably crucifix it's a big old ceramic crucifix so she's like clutching this thing and she's got her back to the the rest of the church and the wings are out yeah i mean she'd probably shit herself she's a fucking boss

Oh man I better get back on it And my supervisor Mr. Christ is here You know Christ didn't give me double time last week It's a real pain in my ass You know we don't get time and a half

On his birthday But he gets the day off Can you believe that shit? Yeah You got a box of matches By the way This thing's all sorts of wet Let me get the news too

Thanks No, that coffee's too big. I need a small cup of coffee, you know? So you get it for like five cents. You don't have that? How long have I been dead? So, and you're right about it kind of being a Blake Edwards movie because here's the next gag. Enter a morbidly obese woman to say a prayer at the church.

And like it's clearly like, look at how hilarious this fat lady is. And she goes up, you know, to the altar to say a prayer. and Emmanuel Barrett turns around and they make eye contact and she's like hey and this lady starts screaming her ass off like an Italian I think she's like an old

Italian lady yeah yeah yeah and she like runs out of his church and then the priest comes up like what's going on and you know and this movie does a really stupid thing where he's got her covered up and he's like no father seriously it's a priest it's or it's an angel look I'll show you and the priest like does the

hand over the side of his head like I'm not looking at this she might be nude yeah fuck you stuffy priest character just like I hate when movies use like the easy way out like that what like sacred vows of chest no I mean

I get this movie gets a lot of mileage off of hey look that chick's an angel and she's so beautiful she might as well be an angel like that's the whole fucking central comedy conceit in this movie yeah So the end gag of this whole thing, which is very stupid, is he's like, well, Father, what am I going to do with her? And this priest is like, try the Baptists.

Yeah, they'd probably try to barbecue her. I can try to get the Jesus magic or something for themselves. So now we have, this is, and I would like to know this next part, if it's ever come up before or since this movie's. release we have a major motion picture appearance of a wendy's hamburger restaurant in this movie i don't think i've ever seen it he brings her to a wendy's because he's got to stop off and have some food before he figures out what doorstep to leave this woman on do you know that they have the best french fries in this world and beyond yeah i didn't know that but then this movie told me that so that must be true in all of his creation that's the best french fries

There is, I'm not kidding you, three to four scenes that sort of revolved around about, you know, hey, these French fries at Wendy's are amazing. Have you had these things? They're fantastic. Because it is literally the only thing this angel will eat because they are that good. Well, it's also because they make her like an alien because he's like, you know what else is delicious? Wendy's cheeseburger is and he takes a big bite and he's like, mm. Oh, Wendy's cheeseburgers are the best cheeseburgers. And then she's got her cheeseburger, right?

And, like, the cheeseburger, it kind of, by the way, I didn't believe for a second that this was a legitimate Wendy's cheeseburger because it was way too big for Wendy's. Sure. And it was not square patty. But so the fucking flappy burger, like, kind of opens, like, the bun flips back. And she thinks it's like a mouth or something and she starts screaming. I think this is a vegetarian thing. Like, she wouldn't eat meat. Oh, is that what's going on?

I think. I mean, the movie, she goes, oh, hard, so it doesn't make a fucking difference at all. Because I don't know anything about this angel. I don't know anything, what she wants, what she's going to do, or where she's going. But I think it's a vegetarian thing. I see. I won't eat one of God's creatures. Yeah, get me the double burger. I really shouldn't. You know, I got high blood pressure, but it's right.

Wow. How long have I been dead? What in the heck fires a baconator? wendies this week's sponsor on we hate movies ah i can go for some wendy's so while he is still wending around i don't recall

if he like goes back for more oh that's what it is because she houses all these fries and he's like oh you like fries boy oh you like fries i'll get you more fries oh hang on a second he like runs to get food and then these fucking scumbags pull up again these kidnapping best men at his wedding for all we know pull up in a car and they basically just like drag her ass out of this car and

fucking kidnap her and by the way what you know she's not exactly willing to go with them so they buy Wendy's french fries this is ridiculous and they're feeding it to her one at a time to get her out of the car like she's a like a puppy if you want to get a beautiful woman in your car get some Wendy's French fries yeah if you want to take every time and then if you want to kick the date up a notch get some peanut butter and put it some some wear you know what I'm talking about Peter Falk tastes that

Cassavetti was just always bragging that that whiked Didn't wake for me Cassavetti just always say a dollop for a trollop Oh God So they take her back to their legitimate hideout that reminds me very much of where the 60s

Batman movie takes place where like the riddler the Joker the penguin are all hanging out it really does look like that it's like it's like a hideout it's also like kind of maritime it's like a maritime themed Applebee's in a way it's a little bit of a turtles layer as well because they just they got rocking bullwinkle going on they got like their fruity pebbles or whatever the hell and pizza boxes this dude is doing a thing that happens most only in the movies where it's a gigantic bowl used for cereal

and milk. Yeah. You know, it's not like your standard size human being serving. That's the censored version for us. You know, if this took place in the real world, that would have been a giant bong. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's what this place looks like. Hey, man, you want to

hit this bowl of fruity pebbles. And it's also just, it's the phone in the fish tank again because the other guys, eating a pickle sandwich. Oh, yeah, it's a big old pickle with mayonnaise on a roll, and I wanted to throw up all over my television.

Bachelors, am I right? They can't feed themselves, I mean. Written by seven old ladies, this movie is like, that's what they do. That's what my grandson does. You'll probably eat a pickle sandwich. And now the woman based on me is the most beautiful angel. She's straight from heaven, don't you know?

Kissed by God's fingers. And all the men want her. Just like me before the big one. The WW2. Two side plots. There's many side plots. Side plots abound. Caution, says the movie World Road sign.

One of which is Phoebe Kate's dad. You know, he finally, he meets the angel. He's like, that's got to be the new face of my campaign because my daughter is so fucking ugly. She's sunk my company. Get my fucking pig daughter off these ads. Yeah, well, here's what's going on. It's like, Michael E. Knight is now spending days with this angel, not contacting his wife to be whatsoever.

The family, no one knows. Like, what the hell? I know he was trying to unload her for a period of time at the church. But what is his end game with just hanging out with this angel all the time? That is my big question watching this movie is, what is your end game with this angel? why won't you go home? Why are you at one point

living in a tree house with her which we'll get to? But like, yeah, it's this dude like constantly calling either Phoebe Cates or the parents and being like, you know, listen, I'm going to be home. You'll never believe this story I have to tell you.

He keeps almost telling it and then something wacky happen. Or, and this is frustrating, Phoebe Cates, from the moment she starts thinking that he's like, you know, stepping out on her, you know, she turns into this crazy monster like baby that's like you know every time it's like listen

you know he's trying to call you all he wants is two seconds you know there's this one gag where the mom is like all he wants is two seconds to explain himself and she takes the phone like yeah okay and then she screams into it and hangs up the phone or she blows an air horn into it in another part it's like yeah I get it like if he talks to her

there's no movie but just fucking let him talk to you lady and then if you want to be like you know what still, you know, screw you. That's totally fine. But this, like, juvenile, like, I'm going to hang up the phone. But they also show her hurting, like, in a way that, like, she's drinking a bottle of gin

from the bottle. Oh, yeah. And it's just, yeah. And, you know, honestly, like, how, who am I supposed to sympathize with in this goddamn movie? It's impossible. I'm seeing this, this fiance being, being, what she thinks is,

cheated on and then basically dumped like right before the wedding like the friends are repugnant Michael E. Knight's kind of just a douchebag that you're not rooting for. Phoebe Kates is the only redeemable character even though she turns into like kind of a baby for a while. That's the thing like at the start of this you're like oh man Phoebe Kates like yeah this is a real bummer

for you like all you wanted to do is marry this guy that you love like you even understand he's not part of your like upper crust high society kind of guy but that doesn't matter. Love is prevails. That never comes up once for her. She's never like, oh, you know, you better get a good job or like, you know, stop being such a jerk. Yeah, basically, yeah. Like, her being a bitch

is, hey, could you not like fuck other people right when we're about to get married? Would you mind waiting till after the honeymoon before you screw around on me, please? With angels. Oh, she just doesn't understand me. Does she Kit? No, she doesn't, Michael.

I don't think she ever will, Michael, ever. She seems like a Rolls-Royce kind of a person, if you know what I mean, Michael. Even though I know I'm better than a Rolls-Royce. See, a Rolls-Royce fire a machine gun. That's not owned by James Bond. And, yeah, you're right now. Now, the father, Phoebe Kate's father, wants the angel in his ad campaign to get rid of his ugly, ugly daughter. And he meets the angel.

And he falls in love. He falls in love. And I mean, like, no one takes no for an answer in this movie. That's, no one's listening to each other. No one cares about what people's desires are. So she's kidnapped, right, by these dudes. And they're like, let's throw a press conference. And I mean, I get it. What are you even talking about?

How, I don't know what, they never set the place that this is, but it must be the smallest of small towns. Because the fact that just some stone dude, you were like, oh, man, I've. third press conference tomorrow and the whole press corps shows up yeah he's like there like i called all the uh radio stations i called all the tv stations the papers the tabloids everybody's coming it's it's like what i mean i think you're supposed to believe it's like a connecticut massachusetts type town but it's like what group of professional individuals you're right fields of phone call from the stoner like fucking paul And Polly Shore calls up and he's like, hey man, press conference tomorrow.

Oh, and then a professional journalist who makes a living writing stories for newspapers goes, yeah, I'll be there. That would happen. That would happen because Pauly Shore still. He's still a powerhouse in the entertainment industry. That's a really great, like, soundboard phone call. folks at home Paul is Shore Soundboard let's figure that out by the way

because that is endless fun that's internet money in the bank right there so that's got to exist I bet how we should look it up after this so yeah we're at this press conference they've got her tied up right they're like fucking calm down you bitch angel

and like she has her big angel eyes which they can hypnotize people so she starts using that to her advantage It's also, like, kind of how, like, magwa sounds. Yeah, it is very bad. It's like, oh, she's cute as a magua. Didn't you, saw that Grimans movie. Didn't you want to bop that little Gizmo around?

Let's make, well, okay, let's give her a, gizmo's a woman now, give her a set, boom, bop it. Eric Siskis Bop it. Yeah, yeah, it's a... Twist it. Shake it. Bop it. That was a product, right? It was, I had it. Pop that gremlin.

Bob that fucking gremlin. Do you hear me, sub? By the way, really quickly, the way in which they lure her into their fucking rapy clutches. So they're like, we're going to use Phoebe Kates to talk. totally get the angel. Yeah. And they hire this embarrassment of a human being who's dressed up as the love bug. And this fucking grown man in a goddamn ladybug costume shows up at her door. Oh my God.

Singing and hooting and hollering and hollering and everything. It's just the worst thing in the movie. Because they haven't ruined her life enough by A, stealing her boyfriend from the fucking engage a party, B, hooking him up with this angel. and like she's just sobbing and they're like, let's give her hope. Yeah, take it away. It's all like apology flowers

and chocolates and love balloons. Let's meet at this park and the beautiful gazebo to make up at this time. And then they tell Michael E. Knight like, I figure what they tell him to show up at that place. But unbeknownst to him, he has no idea that Patty

Phoebe Kates is going to be there. Right. Their thing that they give to him is hey man, we should totally party. tonight. And then he's just like, okay. I remember now. I was so... You fucking moron. In what world would you do that? No, no. You're

too busy to even talk to your fiancé because you're dealing with fucking angel matters. And then the last time you saw these guys, they ruined your life. And also these guys' entire mission from Jump Street is to steal this angel. And he knows

this. And then they go, you want a party and says it, well, all right. Now we're talking by language it's like fucking partying with the tricks rabbit after he tries to steal your tricks and he's like no no just leave that tricks that tricks over here we'll go to a separate party like obviously well i don't know moose can i bring my angel oh man yeah all right i guess you can bring her like you stupid dummy like this is so dumb so they get to the park and then he's walking like come on angel i love being with you you know michael let's say i kind of smell a set up here you know Why would these guys who are trying to kidnap me

And all my celestial beauty Try and hang out with us right now Look, Michael, can't we just go bowling? Don't you want to go bowling? You know, in a bowl now, you can still smoke inside. Like, no, I really think we should go to this party, Peter Fogg. It'll be fantastic. So they show up, and he sees Phoebe Kates

And he's like, oh, p, p, pottie! What are you doing here? He yells at her, bellows at her. Yeah, he's really indignant. Like, you're fucking. it up again, Patty. I'm here to party. I'm here to bop this fucking Maguai.

So she runs off and he runs after her and they fucking like a looney tune throw a net over this angel and get her in the car. Like, are you kidding? Well, that's the thing you're supposed to like these guys a little bit. Because they're party animals.

Who doesn't love a party animal, Steve? And the net... I know I do. The net is the same thing. It's a little silly. It's a little bit irreverent. Right, yeah, it's a net. I'm not hitting her in the head with a baseball bat. Which you might as well be doing. That's probably what really happened.

This is like the censored, you know. Yeah, exactly. Well, we got to tone it down a little. First, it's a ball of fruity pebbles instead of a sweet bong. Yeah. And now we've got a net instead of a baseball bat. So she's at this fucking press conference and they blindfold her because her eyes are giving shit away. And they gag her because she's cooing and ruining things.

So they bring out this bound and gagged one. And I'm like, look, everybody, it's an angel. Fucking stuck in the middle with you starts playing. Like, this woman is like that cop bound to this chair. How are the press not turn to each other being like, are you going to kill that girl? Dude, the press corps is just as at fault as these dummies are because they're like, the whole time, like this guy comes out and he's like,

we have a momentous day in history today. You better get ready. And then they're all like, they're all like, you know, oh, what's this joker have to show us? And then when she comes out, they're like, oh, it's not an angel. It's just a sex slave. Hey, everybody, it's a sex slave. And then they're sitting there, like, mocking this guy.

And I'm like, a man just had two other men drag a woman out who's tied to a chair, possibly smelling of gasoline. Who is definitely fighting back. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. These jokers, what a bunch of party animals these guys are. Then Michael E. Knight runs in. And he's like. Hey, they're lying to you.

It's a hoax. And this woman's like, yeah, no shit. But we want to see where this is going. So they get to a big Batman fight. You know what I mean? They're fighting every... Boom. Pop.

Pop it. It's a bad day to get rid of a bomb. But she gets out and she slugs one of them. And then this woman's like, yeah, honey, you show them. Like, no, you don't show them. You go get the fucking bullet. Police. Go get your guy out in the satellite truck to call someone. Anybody. The town charter says that, nope, women have to defend themselves in these matters.

It's Dogville again. It's all, it's dogville all over again. It's like, oh, wait a second. No, we were mistaken. We thought that she was a woman. You're telling us that she's an angel. So unless signs proves otherwise, burn her alive. DNN, Dogville News Network. it's just essentially Fox News so yeah they escape and then they have to go into hiding

and this is where the five he escapes with her Michael E. Knight escapes with Emmanuel Baird and he's like you know I guess the world ain't ready for no angel that press score didn't give a shit my friends are trying to kill you you know but my father-in-law

wants you dead so let's go do this tree house this like elaborate like forest it is it's like you see on like tumblers or stuff like you know things people love spending money on this is like some millionaire that's like my kid's gonna have the best tree house in the state you could like a family of four could live in a tree house it's like a three bedroom house and he don't understand he's just like oh this is my rope is this where i come to have fun man is this guy a creep also yeah like what are you still doing with a tree house you're They're clearly 30 years old. Where the hell is this? Is this in the backyard of his parents' small, modest home? No, it's in the middle of the woods.

So he, so at one point in his life, he, he would have, I don't know if the other guys were involved there, what, but a bunch of people built a gigantic treehouse in the middle of woods and someone else's property. No, that's exactly what happened because the dudes are aware of it because at one point they're like, oh he's in hiding where does he know around here where he could go where they're not going to be bothered and the three stooges in unison go the tree house that's how they know to find him there like that's how they all wind up in the woods in the third act of this movie but at this point now phoebe kates's father still wants to find this angel and he finds these three jokers and he wants to get information out of them and they won't they they don't know and they're fighting back they're being snotty and shoddy and shitty to him. She was like, you know, I could throw you in jail for your terrorist strike against my house. And they're just like,

yeah, right, old man. And it turns out he was right, and they get thrown in jail. Just in the slammer. And I'm like, okay, death throws the next stop for you guys, right? Movie, you're going to watch them all burn, right? That'd be great if they were executed.

And then the angel shoots them to hell. Shoots the ghosts to hell. That's what this movie needed, right? is a fucking the end of ghost moment you're dead Willie and those dudes just get pulled to hell it'd be fantastic I would love it and then that's actually the inspiration for

the Adam Sandler movie Little Nicky because it's just idiots in hell the original title and at this point she realizes her wing is working again right and she's like flying around but like she's falling in love with this guy you know and again we don't we don't know

this because she's going Globly, please. She's just speaking complete. Right. And now... A dolphin with wings. I guess he's trying to nurse her wing back to health, right? But he's just hanging out with this angel in a treehouse for a few days. I still don't... He was endgame.

What are you bringing me out to this tree? Are you trying to bop me or what? I mean, because if it's a choice between getting bopped and getting moited, I really appreciate it if you moited me. I don't want to be bopped by no dude I know I'm technically not a human anymore but I don't want to be bopped by no dude sir okay

Thanks And one more question Oh Columbo He was a treasure But this is a weird It's kind of like What's that Stephen Seagal movie Where he's all excited about the Oscars at the beginning

And then his family gets murdered Oh, Mark for Death, maybe? Above the law? It's the one where he like stops the liquor store robbery on his way home. He's getting some champagne for the Oscars. Okay, you just mentioned ten movies. All right, all right, wait a second. Let me see if I can pare this down a little bit.

So they think it's basically the... Does he use karate to solve his problem? Most of them. Sometimes guns, though. But so this is the movie, Eric, you're going to, you're going to get it. He's excited about the Oscars. He's watching the Oscars in bed. with his wife, people go

into his house and kill his whole family and they think they killed him but he's alive in a coma. Hard to kill. Hard to kill. See? I knew it would happen. Yeah, it's basically this is where Tarantino took all of Kill Bill. Yes. And was just like, let's

make him a lady. I'm going to make him a chick, man. Is that right with you, Jan? No one's ever thought about that. Okay, man. But my point with this was, it's their time in this tree house where she's like mending herself and whatnot. It's like the sequence in that movie where the movie stops and he's hanging out with

this lady like just rehabbing his body and like practicing the martial arts again and like getting back to ass kicking mode, but she's getting back into angel mode. And he's getting back into full creeper mode because there's a couple scenes that he's like, oh, you know, the angel's pretty dirty. I'm going to, oh, she's going to go take a bath in that lake. Oh, well, I'm just going to watch her the whole time. Why does an angel need to bathe? They should be dirt repellent.

It's the best part about being an angel. I ain't got to shower no more. I can smoke all this cigars I want. I ain't going to smell like nothing. Except baby powder and starlight. So you get like this, this, you know, the shot of her back side, you know, like basically nude. A lot of side boob. Yeah, and he's just staring at this bop and it.

I assume. Oh, he's definitely bopping it. And it's just so like, God, this guy, man. And it's a weird, like, you see him like, kind of looking like, ah, man, this is wrong. Hmm. And he like kind of wrestles with it for a hot second.

And he's like, well, speaking of no one's looking. He is a repugnant human. Dude, I've used the word repugnant in my notes. The best part about this is finally like, because every time he tries to talk and justify everything,

you know, comedy happens and every time she tries to talk, garbage falls out of her mouth. So he finally has a little time to say like, you know, oh, you know, I'm just this musician. I just wanted to always write music and then I kept getting these really bad headaches.

And to solve the headaches, I figured I'd get a better job and marry Phoebe Kates. I wouldn't go to a doctor and check out my headaches. It wouldn't go away with fucking Tylenol. He thought his headaches would get better by getting one a job and two a wife doesn't matter what of either and three stop playing the harmonica

right oh yeah by the way he's not just a musician he considers himself a composer oh yeah he's a composer of harmonica only works apparently uh yeah but like and then it starts happening more and more in the movie like they keep mentioning the headaches and i'm just like clivo and like do you get those headaches angel i get such bad headaches jason but yeah it's just like oh you keep bringing up these headaches huh bet that's a brain tumor he turns around there's a big fucking lump on the back of his head that's throbbing i don't get it i stop playing harmonica it's got a face on it and then we get the shot of what the world is outside of his perspective and there's no goddamn angel it's just it's that blow-up doll and he's just like screaming

at it and stuff. That is an amazing twist for this movie, right? That's why Phoebe Kates is so pissed off because he's like, it's not what you think and he's holding a fuck balloon and she's like, no, it clearly is you're having sex with a balloon. And he's been naked the whole time.

This is Michael E. Knight's fugue state. He's going to wind up in a grocery store in New Mexico. God bless. If he's lucky. And now this is where kind of the climax of our movie because Because his dad, Michael Knight's dad, bailes the three idiots out of jail.

With the line, you boys are the only ones that can help me. I was like, sir, I'm pretty sure that dude who played the love bug would offer more productive assistance than these three morons. The rot to the core press corps could do a little more than that. That evil dog in the neighborhood could help you out better. And yeah, so like everyone knows where to go. the word about the tree house goes along Fibi Kates has

Because they checked Wendy's And they weren't there And like Phoebe Kates gets wasted And starts driving Which is hilarious in the 80s Yeah with a shotgun in the car By the way Like a big old rifle

Which that fucking thing So speaking of this movie Becoming a cartoon really quickly She gets the call like Hey they're at the treehouse And she's like I knew it And she's drunk on gin And she pulls the rifle out of the closet

and she's like, I'm going to kill that slut. Like, she keeps saying, like, slut and that whore, that stupid whore, that stupid fat angel slut. Well, she's got a point. And then she takes this rifle and falls down the stairs, like, really hard. And the gun goes off. I really wanted this to be directed by the Cohen brothers, because you know how that fucking scene ends. Yet with her eyeballs on the fucking doorknob. That would have been awesome.

Just a fucking Brad Pitt death in that fucking closet. Oh, God, I love it. I love every second of that scene. It's so great. But, yeah, she doesn't die. She decides to go drunk driving to this fucking tree house like an asshole. And we're all converging on the angel, and the angel who can now fly and has all of her angel powers back. Because she was able to get up to the moon, much like Superman's sun, and recharge those angel batteries.

Because I guess that's where heaven is. Well, we already know it's past the satellites. It's Saturn. That's where angels live. Oh, really? Yeah, that's also in the, it's in scripture. You ever been to Shannon? They got real good Chinese food.

Yeah, I was just as shocked as you were, but they even made it all the way out there. Should try to avoid the sandworms, no. You can ride them, but you can't eat them. I would love to listen to Peter Falk, explain what he thought about Beetlejuice. So there's this pinstripe character, right? and he lives I think he lives on Mars and he befriends

this teenage girl or something and that guy from Miami Blues is in it he's he's dead I like that fat guy he makes me laugh and that is what Peter Falk

thought of Beals I think the word cockamamie was a little cockamamie for my well damn you know cockamamie

new fruit dude yeah you know that tim bighton he does some weird stuff not like me and cassovettis i mean that was that was telling a story this is all i'm a man bad and oh oh oh beatles juice beetles juice little whatever he asked me to be a penguin i thought it's a pretty good idea he would be a great the penguins oh he would have made a fantastic penguin yeah oh man sorry everybody we'll get back and now back to date with an angel so they're all heading for this tree house right and this dude's like hanging out he can't find her either at this point because she's gone to recharge the batteries and they all like converge on this dude and they're like we

fucking hate your guts you ruined everything you ruined our angel merch business you ruined our potential marriage you ruined my ad campaign i would love one of the people gathered here just to throw a noose over up under the tree oh just bring him up yeah just take this guy out and God, how I wanted him to die. Phoebe Cates rolls up with his rival and goes, where's that angel bitch? Like, she's an angel. What are you going to do?

Shoot her in the face. She's also convinced she's an angel, which is hilarious. Yeah, even after all of that, unless she's being facetious, like, where's your angel? Yeah. Right.

Maybe she is. I mean, honestly, you know, more power to her. So they're getting in this big fight and everything. And then it's a weird, like, the angel's invisible. and she like pushes Phoebe K. Or she like slaps Phoebe Kates in the face?

And she thinks it's Michael E. Knight doing it and beating the living end out of her because she starts being kicked when she's down and everything. I would hope that my girlfriend, if she ever got slapped in the face by an invisible person, would know that's just not on the table. Like, oh, somebody invisible must have to slap me. Because I feel like that's either on the table or it's not on the table. And Phoebe Kates knows what's going on right? Right away.

Right. I mean, you've agreed to marry this man. Well, you know, maybe it's kind of like the godfather, right? Like, that dude was all great until he marries Talia Shire. Then he's fucking throwing plates at her and everything. Yeah, that's true. But I'd also... Go get your giddy brothers to come fight me. Man, man, when James Khan beats that dude up.

Well, he is begging for it. Oh, yeah. Like, he's just throwing the G word around. He's beating his sister. Like, you know these guys are in the mafia, right? like yeah that's a real dumb move well because he's all pissed off because they didn't ask him to be in the mafia that's the whole thing there he's upset and now back to date with an angel so that's the thing is like i if there are angels i would hope that they would be above

yeah invisible sucker punches yeah they shouldn't be throwing punches yeah what what used you have to hit someone you're an angel there's a weird thing in this? So she gets slapped in the face and Phoebe Kates is like why would you do that? And he's like, I didn't. The angel did it.

And she's like, uh-huh. And then like, the angel pushes her and she falls over. And then while she's like kind of on all fours trying to get back up, this angel kicks her in the ass. Yeah.

And when Phoebe Kate stands back up, she's like, you kicked me in the heinie. Nobody kicks me in the heinie. And that you say that when it's like it's happened to you. before. Yeah. You know, and I'm like, how many times this chick getting kicked in the ass by somebody? Well, it's just like, Mador, I hate Mador. Like, I guess this is her fucking

plague. It's getting kicked in the ass. And her father shows up and wants to rip this guy limb from limb, right? Fulis Oaks, he's beating the shit out of his daughter. Yeah, like, he comes around the corner like, hey, what's going on over here on this side? And she's like, oh, he's beating me. And he's like, oh, well, then it's odd. And so now we've got those two. And then the three Beagle boys show up. And they're like, come on. let's fucking, you know, let's find this angel so we can kill her. And the angel decides to finally, with all of her angel might, to smite the evildoers in this movie.

And she starts raining down lightning upon Phoebe Kates and her fucking father. It's ridiculous. So the angel of death finally takes out the death. And it's going to Phoebe Kates, whose only crime was loving this guy. And she was driven to madness. She was. By a prank caused by the three idiots in Hawaiian shirts.

I think they're now saints. I think Halo showed up around them and they got ordained or something. Yeah, because it's just like, oh, those guys. Like, she starts, she starts, like, Charlie Brown rainclouding them, you know, and they're, like, getting their own personal rainstorm. It's straight up, like, force lightning. Yeah, and they're falling over on the ground. They are being smitten, smited, smote.

Smote. Smote. That's the word. Yeah, smitten's what he was with that angel. With that magwai. So Michael E. Knight ends up passing out from one of his headaches or something during this. And everyone's like, oh, what's going on with Michael? Oh, is he okay?

It's like, what about Phoebe Kays who just got struck by lightning like four times? But no one gives. Here's what happened. What? Here's what happened. Dude, we've talked about this before. She ran to the city limits of movie town and she ran out of the movie. Oh, she left the real.

world. Yes, she left the real world. You're right. She stepped over the line, her and the dead, so they're out of the movie. The border of the movies. Yeah, it doesn't matter anymore. The light, they got lightninged. They were smote out of the movie. Arraced from existence. Exactly. That's it. Goodbye, everybody. No, no closure. No, like usually at the end. They might as well be dead. They could be dead. They might actually be dead. They might be rotting in that forest.

You never know, because the credits come and go and they never come back in the movie. So, yeah, they're dead. Cut to the hospital. And this is where the angel of death. I mean, this is just the biggest bunch of bullshit. Well, apparently he's got a huge motherfucking brain tumor, right? It's like brain stem tumor. Like, it's in a bad place.

But his dad's like, well, he said when he had all those headaches, he was going to change jobs. I thought that would take care of it. I was pretty certain either that or getting a wife would just, you know, clear those headaches right away. What does that even mean? I don't. I don't. It's the dumbest logic. I thought now that he had a personal servant to do everything for him, called a wife, that, you know, he'd have time to clear his head. And this doctor hears that statement from the father. And he's like, you, sir, are the dumbest person I've ever met. And by the way, your son's going to die. There's nothing I can do for him.

Might as well take a knife and stab him in the heart for all the good you've done him. You know, ain't that just the way it goes? You'd think changing just. Jobs will get rid of your tumor. Then I got to come down for you. That's weird. Life's a bitch. So he's dying. He's dead.

Like, that's it. And, you know, the angel starts crying angel tears. Yeah, which are different from people tears. They sure are. Extra different. Tastes a lot better. And, you know, she, all of a sudden she disappears and he wakes up. And he's like, oh, my God.

What a fucking. nightmare. I thought of this brain tumor was probably just my job, though. And she comes in dressed as a sexy nurse. And she could fucking finally talk. Like, if you're ever going to let this character talk, how about like two minutes in, she talks gibble-gabble and then like reads a book. It's like, oh, now I've accustomed myself to how to talk. Oh, that's what it is. Oh, I got it now. Yeah, it's talking. Oh, I see. So it's like, you know, the doctor basically says like he's not going to live through the night. So it's like, The next day, the three idiots walk in.

They're like, oh, man, sorry about that Contra-style kidnapping. That was really uncool of us. Oh, and then sorry about that second Contra-style kidnapping when we hog-tied your angel and tried to sell her to the National Enquirer. That was really uncool. Tried to sell her to all those Albanians. Sorry. It's really, they're basically like, man, if we knew you were dying,

we would have not done any of them. this. Our mistake. So then, yeah, she walks in as a sexy nurse and you're like, oh, the wings are gone. And they kind of do that bullshit thing where it's like her backside only. Yeah. As if it's like a mystery. But what's so great is they're like, you know,

oh, sorry, we're just saying goodbye to him. And she's like, you can say goodbye tomorrow. Like, she's very poorly covering up a French accent. And I'm like, oh, well, that's her. I mean, it's clearly her. It's a woman of the same build, the same color of hair and she's got a French accent. This is the angel. Probably spoke

four words of English and that's where they were like we got to just do some baby talk don't even talk during the movie you know what's weird everybody up there's got a French accent who wonder was what I want to know it's just a question I'm not trying to start nothing

I'm just saying I thought I saw it one way it's fine I'll go down to the OTB I'll leave you alone and obviously well not obviously you think like okay at this point

movie brain tells me like okay so she gave up her angelhood to finally be with this guy because you know falling in love with him and blah blah blah yeah she explains yeah I was the angel of death

and I was here to kill you but I took a leave of absence question mark and now by tingling leave of absence I was able to cure you and hang around now we can fuck Don't worry about it

We can fuck that Well like We can bop You want to bop Hey You want to bop I think God She said something about like

Oh like an angel's prayer Oh yeah God can't say no to that So So she's like Hey God Let this guy live And then she is now

Taking a leave of absence To bang him Bop him And Could you take me out To the windies Oh yeah Oh please

Oh it's a last line of the movie. Could you take me half for the French fry? Like, oh my God. Oh my God. That's how the movie ends. It's just it. She smooches him. Credits.

Credits. Right before credits, a commercial for Wendy's. And not to get out of my Kazavetti's horse again, but the Kodak Corporation came up to Kazavetti's. Like, why don't you use our camera in your movie? You know, you had the artistic integrity to say no to that. You know, it's just different strokes.

for different folks, but, you know, not the last line to me about Wendy's French fries. It makes no sense. Wait, you just beat a horrible disease. Don't you want to go home to your family? Now, you're not going to Wendy's. It makes no sense. What am I watching this for? That would be if we watch this movie

with the ghost of Peter Folle next to us. That's, God. There are just some things that aren't possible. I wish that wasn't one of them. Well, angels eating French fries. That is possible. They love them. That happens.

all the time. I think that's the only food they're allowed to eat. Oh, hey, Angel, you know what's great, though? You take a delicious Wendy Frosty and dip a French fry into... You know, I can't do it. I'm sorry, I tried. You know, there is some talk that angels do not contain genitalia. Yeah, that's...

Yeah. I mean, you don't know what's going on under there. And, I mean, she's very different. It's okay. You could pop me in my mouth. Yeah, I'll give you good mouth-bop. Before we go to the movies, it's fine. Oh, that's what orifice we now exist.

That's true. I mean, when you're right, you're right. But yeah, that is kind of a thing, like eunuch angels. All the time you see stuff about that. I mean, I guess maybe he was able to confirm that when he was watching her bathe earlier. All right. Yeah, it's all there. But I guess, to be fair, though, she does transmogrify at the end.

She gets rid of the wings. Oh, right. She's got a lender. the loaner Yeah, yeah, exactly, the loiter It's got nothing to do with this movie But why does that matter Fuck, the biggest trade down is

Wings of Desire to City of Angels Peter Falk to Dennis fucking Franz No thanks Yeah, that stinks That is a big stink cast right there Oh So would anyone recommend date with an angel I would not

It's really, I mean it's one of those seeded believes though for sure and i mean even the movie's tone is just never it never gets on its feet you never know what you're supposed to think or why you're supposed to think it so in that way it's kind of interesting i would recommend it just because it's i think it is a seeing as believing i mean it does drag at portions but like i've never been i mean i've probably been this frustrated at a movie before but i was just livid so So, you know, watch it with that precaution. If you want to get pissed, Eric says, watch this movie.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of like a soft recommend. Yeah. And I'm trying to do the old, like, scale, try to figure out my checks and balances with this recommendation. But, you know, on the one hand, despite all of the paranormal nonsense, there's a lot of, like, very nostalgic 80s suburbia going on. So, like, 80s culture, as I say a lot on the show, I'm a sucker for. The one thing I will give you a strike in that. that category not a lot of pop songs

I could use some good good old there's a couple there's like fake songs yeah right it's like you're dating an angel now yeah it's like no like movie related lyrics with like synth pop music you know so it's like and I've got fooled by it a couple times

watching the movie I'm like you know grooving along like yeah all right soundtrack and I'm like yeah yeah wait what are they saying the angel doesn't talk she sounds like bullshit now you gotta bop that magwai so like yes that kind of sucks but you know like 80

suburbia hijinks I'm kind of okay with it but I mean I don't know almost everything else like the the friends the way Phoebe Kates has just turned into this monster for no reason this dude by the way this Michael E. Knight shockingly went back to soap operas

for another hundred years after this shelly long outing of his didn't really work out. After the all-knowing Lord saw this movie sentenced him to soap operas again. Yeah, totally. Eternal hell. Eternal damnation performing on a soap opera.

Yeah, I don't know. I guess at the end of the day, now that I'm looking at my pros and cons list, it's kind of a not recommend. Also, another big strike against this movie, an hour and 45 minutes. That's a big problem for me, too. It's 15 minutes way too long.

And a lot of it's just sleeping in a tree house. There's like three different times when he wakes up like, oh, where am I? And she's like right behind him and he's like, oh, yeah, the tree house. I'm like, you just did this. All right, the giant baby I'm trying to have sex with. Do you have any relevant information to add to this scene? Oh, thanks a lot. Oh, great tip.

I will try that. That's the sexiest thing I ever heard. Man, you don't know shit about shit and that turns me on. Your fucking empty brain is so hot. you know my fiance doesn't really understand me she has thoughts

she has thoughts and opinions and can say no bullshit my life is hell there's hell before you came angel I just look into your dead eyes and hear the wind blow

right through your ears it's just the one dead eye though come on that's not and that is date with an angel directed by a fellow named Tom McLaughlin find him on television he directs a lot of TV

that wasn't a knock I know it sounded like a knock but it uh you know it wasn't a knock he directs a lot of TV good for him if you want to get a hold of us find out more information about the program check out our website WHMpodcast dot com you can like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter at

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So you have until now Through the end of this year The Strike of Midnight on December 31st, New Year's Eve To get your calls in 10 year rule off the table 718925-3893 Or Get At Us on Skype We are at We Hate Movies there as well

Your Picks Call in, turn this episode off and call in right now Because we're done, we don't have anything to say until next week Yeah, we got to watch We got to find something to watch. Yeah, exactly. We are out of stuff to watch Well, except for what we're doing next week. I kind of feel like this is going to end, like the critic ends. Someone's going to, like, you know, some usher is going to be like, excuse me, sir, it's time to leave.

Your podcast is over. The internet is not just for your podcast. Before we get out of here, though, Steve, a hint for next week's episode. Okay, it is, and hopefully not everyone gets it at once, but so far our hints have been kind of lame. People are getting them. People got date with an angel, which, by the way, again, congratulations on Emmanuel Baird as the clue. it is a New Year's Eve movie

a movie that takes a place in and around New Year's Eve Ooh Let me add another thing onto this Holy shit too many hints One more hint One more hint Then one more hint

Please one more Excuse me ma'am If I could just get one more One of your time here Controversial This pick is going to be Controversial I don't know why I'm saying

That like a Bond villain But it will be That's We Hate Movies for this week Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steve and say to Eric Sisker. Take it easy.