We Hate Movies - S4 Ep140: Episode 140 - Easy Rider: The Ride Back

Episode Date: January 14, 2014

In this week's episode, the gang has their jaws on the floor with the incredibly wrongheaded, totally embarrassing, Easy Rider: The Ride Back. Where does that 9/11 reference come from? How many flashback threads can you squeeze into one film? And most importantly - WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? Plus: Dennis Hopper and John Candy as vengeful poltergeists out for cinematic revenge! Easy Rider: The Ride Back stars Jeff Fahey, Sheree J. Wilson, Newell Alexander and Phil Pitzer; directed by Dustin Rikert. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. And we hate this movie. Hello, everyone. We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the program. This week, we are continuing what is now our traditional worst of the previous year month. So it's the worst of 2013.

And we are here to discuss a movie you might not have heard of. Didn't exactly get a theatrical release, not a big blockbuster, spectacular. Not a lot of write-ups in the press. What? That's right. Easy Rider, The Ride Back. directed by Dustin Reichert I'm really fighting the urge to just go take a shower

I fought the ears while watching this to have an aneurysm like it's just one of those situations where you really just question what's going on in your own brain it's true you might actually go insane watching this I think you might right because it's it's one of those things you're like this is

this is so impossible it's so impossible that this exists. Like this isn't a thing. I must be making this up. I made up finding the DVD. I made up putting it in my DVD player. I made up what I'm watching right now. Like it is such an impossible thing.

But it exists. That's the reality. It changes you, though. This might be a little inside New York baseball here. But if anyone's seen those posters that were on the subways and they might have been elsewhere too of abortion, it changes you. Yeah. Like, there's all those pro-life ads. They're like, boy, should it changes.

I didn't know that. That's what should have been on the poster for this. Easy ride of the ride back. It changes you. Like, easy ride to the ride back. It'll ruin your family. It's possible. I don't know.

See, if they wanted to get the, you know, I mean, it would probably only play at the quad. But, like, if they want to get this. Now talk about New York inside baseball. I don't think the quad would play this. The quad's got some fucking standards, man. And you couldn't pay them to play. I mean, we're going to get into what goes on in this movie and the wrongheadedness of this movie.

But really, folks, what we're doing right now is just expressing, like, how impossible it is that this exists. Well, it's those things where remember when in the 90, I think it was late 90s, early 2000s where people were talking about how they wanted to do the prequel to the godfather with Leonardo DiCaprio. Yes. And I was just like, it can't happen. It's not going to happen. but nobody's going to allow this to happen. And it's my feeling about, like, if they were trying to do the conversation too,

or, you know. Oh, enemy of the state. Yeah, well, yeah. But you know what? That is a good movie, I think. I think. It's an entertaining movie. It keeps you go.

It's a Sunday hangover movie for me. It is a Sunday hangover movie. Now, we did a lot of Will Smith bashing last week, so we can't really be getting into that. Hands off. Yeah. So we'll get to some Jeff Fahey. But you're right, though.

There was that trend like we're going to do prequels and sequels to like all these classic movies like oh what happens if jack nicholson goes back to atlantic city king of marvin gardens do why not fuck it like this is such a dumb ass thing to think is a good idea well no one asked for this like at least at least godfather i think they still did like some other guy did some books about it and like there's you know there's yeah there are there are non-mario puzzo books and it's already been done three times and you've already had one that was bad enough that people were like, what's the worst that could happen? But Easy Rider is like a standalone thing, totally counterculture, like an independent, amazing

movie that came out in 1969. One of that handful of films, and this episode might wind up being a gigantic commercial for the BBS Productions box that that Criterion Janus put out. The lovely box. It's great. It's amazing. It's great. You know, you got, you got what King of Marvin.

gardens you said five easy pieces the last picture show head easy rider one drive drive you said jack nicholson's directorial debut and the uh i think that's in a safe place yeah i mean these are amazing movies that you know quite literally changed the scope of the american cinematic landscape new american cinema 101 exactly it's it's film school in a fucking box set like i know that that's the criterion like eclipse logo yeah or their motto or whatever but that box set is film school in a box set. And this movie takes that box set out to a field and this movie pulls its pants down and takes a big steaming dump all over American film history. Well, when you know something's wrong when both Hollywood and society at large says no to something. And they said no to the idea of us

bring all these 70s movies and 60s movies back into the limelight and be like, yeah, let's do this again. This, I read on IMDB, it's, it's labeled as a revisionist drama. You know, that word revisionist is just slung around. Anytime someone makes a douchebag bad idea of something and then it's like, oh, oh, no, sorry, it's not directly related. It's just revisionist. I also feel like that's sort of like, IMDB or whoever wrote that being like, this isn't canon to the original easy rider. Yeah, you know what? This is the never-sendable. say never again to the actual James Bond franchise. It's a perfect way to put

it. You know, I I never thought I'd say this, but thank God Dennis Hopper's dead. Oh yeah. What do you mean? Because if he fucking lived to see this movie. Oh, he'd be dead again. Yeah. He'd be dead twice over. Dude, he's fucking spinning in that grave.

I want a movie where Dennis Hopper finds out about this movie and then he's wired a bicycle to, a motorcycle to explode. Call you. bowl. But like, and that's it. Notice how he keeps saying Dennis Hopper and whatnot.

I can't really give a shit what Peter Fonda thought about this movie because he's in Boondock Saints 2 All Saints Day. Oh yeah. So that credibility, you know, whether or not he even knows that this movie exists. Dennis Hopper is not clean. No, but he's dead. He did crash the series. He's definitely not clean.

I'm not saying his hands are angel white, baby. I'm just saying, you know... He definitely is above Fonda, and he directed Easy Rider. Yes, exactly. And as much as it would give me a heart attack if it ever happened, the Godfather at least calls for...

It's such a wide span of people. It's such a menagerie of characters that you could have a lot of backstory, and you could go off on these little individual movies with these different characters. Who the fuck ever gave a shit about who, where these two guys came from yeah and then it's like all the characters in that goddamn movie die it's like why do you need to do a sequel prequel or anything and that's that's the other thing about it it's such a backdoor way to approach this right so so we can get into a little bit about what this movie is so the movie is told from the standpoint of peter fonda's character's younger brother whose name is Morgan Morgan Williams and it's Chris you said this fella is like a lawyer from Cincinnati lawyer who must be a

not not the not the character the actor yeah the actor and the writer of this drek yes so I'll say it I'll drop the D's yeah it's a it's Drek don't worry it's it's clearly like this passion project or something I this dude's got a bunch of money floating around so so it's told from the perspective of this dude Morgan which by the way Eric you rewatched Easy Rider recently for this I saw it a couple months ago when I got that box set. But aside from the scene of Peter Fonda, when they're tripping on acid in the graveyard in New Orleans,

where he mentions my mother. He says, my mother, my mother. There's no mention of a family of any kind. I don't think so because I think he cares about... The present? Yes, about freedom, about self-expression, about being your own person, about being one with the greatness of America,

which is kind of this movie kind of perverts into like a conservative angle, which is the craziest. I guarantee you this guy calls himself a libertarian. No, that's exactly what I said to Eric and I were texting about this last night. This movie is a super it's got a real super libertarian bent to it, for sure.

But Wyatt Williams Fonda's character, right? I don't think was libertarian. I think they were flirting with hippie culture. That's a totally different apple. Totally. I mean, and that's the whole thing. That's the whole conceit of easy rider it's like these dudes who are counterculture in and of themselves like the

biker culture venture off into the american frontier and encounter hippie culture and experience what that is and take let that you know take them over that's that's that's what that movie that's like it's it's about it's about going with the flow you know you're you're you're you're just your own person there you're you're experiencing your environment and that's that's all you need to be you know and then the hippies are doing it their own way and the bikers are doing it there. That's great. But the differences the libertarian would judge. They would

do that, but then they would judge every single person they came across. I mean, we can't get to this. And to quote Steve Sadek, I couldn't write down all these lines. The script in this movie, and you could put Brando in this movie and some of these, all of

these lines would not fly. It's insane. It's insane. It's one of the worst scripts ever. And some of the worst acting ever. We're shooting. Look at the fucking movie. It looks like garbage. Oh, if you see this in HD,

man, are you going to see some nasty saddlebag leather skin? There are some catchers mitt faces in this movie. But so, okay, so here we go. We got Morgan Williams, Wyatt Williams' younger brother. He's been living in Mexico since the

Vietnam War. Okay? He's been living down in Mexico. He's involved in dealing weed down there. He's made kind of a nice life for himself. But he also deals in fine leather goods. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. So the flick starts off. He's like,

my name's Morgan Williams. I had a brother named Wyatt. You might remember him as Peter Fonda in this classic movie that this movie is not. All they can show, by the way, is the bike wreck footage. Notice there is not one actual appearance of Peter Fonda. There is not one shot of

Dennis Hopper. There's none of their likenesses. Right. The closest you get is the tail end of the movie there's the helicopter shot you see the bike wreckage and then and then Fonda's body you can kind of see Fonda's body like off on the side of the road but definitely not enough to make out that as Peter Fonda which to me is like clear like okay you want to make this dumb little movie you're not showing my fucking face in it yeah and I'm surprised he even got the rights to show any any footage from the original film yeah you see like his his like American flag like Captain America motorcycle like the shot where it

shoots in the air and here is a big hunk of bullshit okay now he actually morgan williams down in mexico has like he he found the bike that that Wyatt had that you know was partially destroyed and has rebuilt it and recreated it and he now has it down in in mexico and the jacket or whatever or he also stole his jacket right but here's what i'm thinking like okay so my older brother in 1969 gets murdered by hillbillies who are you know who probably got away with it who probably just you know no yeah they definitely there's no witnesses and then by the time word gets back to where whatever goddamn ranch this place is that that the family compound is on and then i have to trek all the way down to some parish in in some uh you know backwater

Louisiana. What are the odds I'm going to get that bicycle? No, you're not getting the motorcycle. You're not getting that jacket. No. You're not doing it. Especially if you're young, you're this younger kid.

Like, it's not happening. You're not going out there. You're not dragging this motorcycle across the country. I just imagine Morgan, like on his tricycle is behind Dennis Hopper and William's just like, I'm coming. Oh, you're all dead. Oh, you were shot dead. Oh, okay.

So there's also, Peter Fonda also has a sister. Yep. So the sister comes down to Mexico and she's like, hey Morgan, you've been living down here since the, whatever it is, the early 70s, the late 60s, when you and dad had a big falling out over Vietnam, you have to come back because dad's not doing great. And this dude's just like, no, I've got a life here. It's pretty great. I've got my Mexican wife. Got a couple of kids. A sling weed. That's what I do. I deal with a cocaine dealer for some reason There is just some Mexican drug lord in this movie It's a real high up in society type thing

And it comes to nothing It's just zero jack shit And this sister actually has a line When they're down there in Mexico About how the father Never knew about Peter Fonda's like drug stuff And it's just like Okay

Great, well all right That's fantastic Hey that's terrific Who cares? It's just I don't know To me it's just Like, I don't know, man. You are so flabbergasted by this movie.

Folks at home, Eric is shaking his head so much with talking about this movie. Well, can we talk about when I thought I was hallucinating when I watched this movie? Within the first five minutes of this movie, the movie begins with its footage of, is it fond of, is it just the guy? It's not fun, that's the thing. That's the other thing about this movie. This dude, I feel at some point in this guy's life, this star, and the writer and producer of this movie. Someone told him that he kind of looks like Peter Fonda.

And now here we are 23 years later or whatever. And he's made this movie because he's on the motorcycle dressed up to look exactly like Peter Fonda. Down to like every knit. Like it's just the hair, everything. Oh, yeah. This was his own bike, his own jacket that he had at home. Yeah. This dude's an easy rider super fan.

So Phil Pitzer is this guy. yeah he's driving and there's he's doing the narration as well yeah i had a brother or why it yeah just a rabo yeah have you ever heard about easy rider yeah this is what fucking happened everybody and like i'm like okay that's fine and like he's describing what happened and at one point he says this this guy was crystal blue just like nine ohly shit like what what i'm sorry well you know what you know what hang on everybody we got to hear that again The sky was crystal black, just like 9-11. Yep, no, that's definitely what he said.

He said that a day, they were murdered on a day with a sky as clear as it was on 9-11. What the fuck are you even talking about? Are you kidding me? I couldn't believe he. I was like, there's no, I had to talk to you guys in the middle of the day to be like, can somebody check this? I'm not sure if that actually happened because they couldn't have that low taste. Just like on 9-11.

Like, what are you? What are you fucking saying by trying to invoke 9-11 and the intro narration to your dumb movie? Let me get this straight. The death of a fictional character. Fictional is all get out. Equivalent to 9-11, kind of. They were murdered on a day like 9-11.

Just shut the fuck up, dude. And the line sets the stage for the rest of the movie, really. Yeah, I mean, this movie is all, you know, Pro veteran, which, you know, there's nothing wrong with being pro veteran. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that comes up a lot. There's a lot of like serving your country stuff with, again, there's nothing wrong with that. There's, listen, there's nothing wrong with any of that.

What's wrong with that is trying to put that in the context of a movie with Easy Rider at the front of it. It doesn't. It's the counterculture. And then you have. And then it's just like, oh, God. No, it's like, it's like, oh, that, the definitive counterculture blockbuster, Easy Rider. Oh, if you like that, you might like the sequel. The, the all-American patriotic pro-establishment movie, Easy Rider, the ride back.

Yeah. Oh, oh, why. Because he's in a libertarian, you're right, but he's also, he also fashions himself a patriot, you know. Oh, yeah. You know, and you got to mention 9-11. You got to mention the Iraq War. well you know what hey man say what you want about the war

oh god but don't don't you have a bad mouth of warrior what's amazing about that line right you say what you know disagree with the war don't disagree with the warrior whatever that the line is the thing that the character is responding to is nothing that's anti

armed servicemen and women there's someone says it's like blah blah blah we should get out of there oh yes that's what it is we should get out of it of the Middle East, yes. And then it's like, oh, hey, man, lay off the soldiers. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, you're saying that you don't want the soldiers there.

You're saying the soldiers should be home and safe and not in battle. No, no, no, hey man, say what you want about the war. The warriors off limits. Just shut up. You know who else, hey, don't, and don't you dare badmouthed Lyndon Johnson near me. Well, because that's the other thing that we were. Even though I'm a draft dodger who's giving you, God, shit for not

being hurrah supporting all these kids dying in the Middle East for nothing. That's what's great too. It's like, listen, if you want to make a movie about a dude who's like a super patriot who goes out and he starts harassing people that are anti-government, anti-war, anti-this and that, that's totally fine. You're within your right to make that movie,

but that guy cannot be a fucking Vietnam draft dodger. He just can't. Here's the thing. Even though that doesn't make sense that he says Vietnam draft dodger but you know they I think they mentioned it offhand even in Easy Rider that

Peter Fonda's character is like oh he's Captain America because he's got he's got you know the bike and the jacket it's like you know it's alluded to that maybe he was like an evil caneval type or a stunt driver or something but that doesn't necessarily mean he's actually Captain America

you don't have to live up you don't have to act like your brother was America like a drug taking drug dealing like motorcycle rider who just cared about fucking grass ass and fucking taking a little LSD once in a while and chilling out in the fucking beautiful countryside looking up at the stars not having someone to tell him what to do every day maybe just maybe he was being a little sarcastic yeah yeah exactly

maybe he was being a little sarcastic oh yeah I have the American flag on my motorcycle call me Captain America all right then yeah all right you said Captain Nurt. That's your nickname now, Wyatt. Good for you. Oh, man. I mean, and by the way, if it is true, and again, we're making all sorts of assumptions about what is his name, Phil Pitzer? Phil Pitzer. Like, we don't know the dude, but presumably he's a massive easy rider fan, right? Yeah.

It's a massive something. Talk about talk about just missing the point of the thing that you might love to be. Well, it's, it's something. Like, some members of, like, the baby boomer generation, once, again, 9-11 happened, that clear blue sky. Oh, yeah. I heard there was a clear blue sky on that day. I think I learned that from Easy Rider the ride back.

It's like Dennis Miller, you know, like all these people changed on a dime. Yeah. You know, now they're sort of thinking about it differently. And then, you know, where we've, these warped minds are looking back at the 60s. Not a good, man. Not a good mix. And here's the thing. I know plenty of guys.

who like going out on the weekends and riding their motorcycles around and that's what they do and that's just fine. Whoa, you're friends with a biker gang? Not a gang. Dude, can we hang out with them? You didn't tell us your friends with a biker gang? No, no, you guys don't have club jackets.

I need some AK-47 stocks moved cross-country. I'll talk to them. I'll talk to Rib and the other boys. And see if I can get a deal on the... You know, you know, you know, you know. You were saying About your biker friend

There are Sorry There are people who do that But this is one of those things where Like it's about recapturing Like they really take it as like It's recapturing your fucking masculinity And it's fucking going out there

And being a goddamn American motherfucker And like Like that's the whole And that's what he took away from Easy Rider Was that you're supposed to be an American motherfucker. You're supposed to be an American motherfucker. be a man-American.

A mannequin. No, not a manic. No, I'm not a mannequin. I meant a manly American. Oh, the whole thing's lost. Now they're trying to put me in Macy's. I love that some rednecks is like, I am not supposed to be here. I mean, the original movie was just like, hey, don't be an asshole.

And then you take away from it. I've got to be an asshole. I'm going to make, you know what, the movie preaches to me not to be an asshole. I'm going to go ahead and make a movie in where every single character is just a gigantic flaming asshole. Which brings us to Jeff Fahey. Perfect transition. Jeff Fahey, who we are all fans up on this show in one way or another. You know what I'm saying?

I always bring up Captain Frank Lupidus from Lost. I mean, the body parts is a fun movie, too. You know what I'm saying? But what? What are you doing? What we should set up. So, okay. So Morgan has to, is being dragged back to his home ranch.

Well, so the sister says, listen, dad's not doing so hot. He's moving in with me. The sister has married some rich businessman and they have a bunch of houses, which the dad hates because the dad's, he's a veteran of the big one. And he, you know, he hates that this dude's a super businessman, hates a stinking guts. Why? I don't know. He just, he hates that. Was he a Nazi?

Listen, nothing in this movie makes sense. He hates this prosperous American business. I think because he was like American farmer. And now, you know, we got to take it back for the land. I believe that's what, yeah, you're right. There's a streak of that. Yeah. So, so she's like, listen,

dad's living with us now at the ranch. His birthday is coming up. It might be his last birthday. She's kind of playing the death card a little bit here. She's like, the least you could do is stop slinging weed in Mexico. for a week come up say hi to and they've had this big falling out they haven't spoken in 40 years or whatever the thing is

so she leaves he's like no way no way would I ever do that I'm never speaking to that man again this is his acting tone by the way yeah no I will never do that here's some reefer smoke it if you want I'll be out back

that's actually better than his oh thank you so she's like fine you know do what you want asshole you know I'm out of here so then he decides in a scene we don't see he makes the decision that he will make the ride back which by the way this is about 15 minutes into this movie if I don't if I'm remembering correctly and that's where the credits start

yeah there is it's a it's a shitty thing where we're doing this like cold open set up and then the credits happen and you're like we didn't really successfully set anything up yeah I guess that's a cold open I mean I'm not I guess you know how to make a movie well they Yeah, we showed him some Mexican fireworks and, eh, whatever, easy rider. Yeah, get ready for it. Here you go.

So he's on the road and he's on the road. You know how we know he's on the road, by the way? With some classic, we didn't have to pay a lot of money for it. Fart Rock. Some good old fashioned American FartRoy. Use it in this movie. I have a big old note that says Fart Rock. I'm glad we're all on the same page.

This, the, like, and again, take Easy Rider. filled with amazing American music. Yeah, some of the best music ever made. And granted, that's, you know, they licensed it when it was coming out. Right. But my God, why are you making a sequel to a movie that had so much to do with the music

without, you know you're never going to have any good music in it? I mean, this is just nothing karaoke hall music. I think he just corralled all, like, the Cincinnati cover bands to write some original material. I mean, I looked at the music credits, and it's the same dude that did three songs and that's just the shit you hear through the whole movie

except for one astounding rendition of America the beautiful which we'll get to that I mean the music in this movie it's like okay now I need kind of a loose like the journey's just starting kind of rock song and that's exactly

what that song is that plays out you know okay now now I got my buddy with me on the road now Jeff Fahey's with me so we got to have some kind of a little bit of a harder rock No, you know what? There's not enough fart rock in that sound, though. Could you fart rock it up a little bit more? And all the lyrics always have to do with directly what's going on in the scene.

Yeah, yeah. Like, there's this scene where, like, Jeff Ahee and Phil Pitts are meet up and they're, you know, getting on their hogs and they're getting ready to go. It's like meeting friends again. It's so fucking awesome. We're getting on the road. Drinking lots of whiskey. And by the way, Jeff A. We are introduced to him.

in the middle of what looks like, like a, like a mountain biking. Oh, yeah. No, it's like a dirt bike. It's like a dirt bike clinic. He's teaching little kids how to race dirt bikes. All I could picture was that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer's taking the karate class with like all the little kids. Because Jeff Fahey tries to ride this track and totally wipes out.

And I just pictured Kramer like, we're all in the same skill level, Jerry. And I mean, Jeff Fahey, at some point in his life, must have listened to In a guy. out of DeVita at like 11 because he's screaming this entire movie. He's just, and I think, I think, one, how much can Jeff Fahey possibly care about this? You know what I mean? Like, he's just doing this movie. There's probably not a lot of pay in it. It's like, yeah, you get to ride a motorcycle for a couple weeks, whatever.

That's what I thought the key was. I thought he was just a motorcycle guy. He's like, oh, you're going to pay me to fucking act like an asshole on my motorcycle for, what, an hour? Well, apparently he's also friends with the director, though, possibly, because he's in what other picture? is it? Oh, yeah, the director also directed a Gary Busey movie called Ghost Rock. It's like a Western. It's a Western.

It's one of the worst westerns ever made. It's a possible stay tuned. And Jeff Fahey, yes, is in it. So, I mean, maybe that's got something to do with it. You know, who knows? He might be friends with this Phil Pitzer guy. Like, come be in my movie. Ghost Rock came out in 2003, I think. This movie started filming

in, what, 2007? 2007. Yeah. By the way, that's how can tell it's a sign of a classic movie it's been finally aged on the fucking shelf for several years before we get to 2013 so Jeff Fahey is also

basically he's filling in for Dennis Hopper's role which is why I think he's trying to be like even though Hopper is not wild and loud hopper in Easy Rider really I think he's just like aging him appropriately in his head like yeah exactly like okay I'll be like

you know the most recent Dennis Hopper you know I'm going to be a loud crazy guy. And by the way, Giffahey's name in this movie. Oh, God. Is Wes Coast? Oh, just stop it. Just

give it a rest with that. West Coast, everybody. You don't have to beat me over the fucking head with it. I get it. I really do. What is he? One of these rap artists? There is an amazing scene, though, where this dude Morgan's like, so Wesley Costarsky

or like whatever his real name is. And he's like, hey, man, please, I don't want to hear that name. It's like, just shut up. And the whole story of how he got the nickname was like he got on a dirt bike riding circuit, like in the 70s. And it's like the early 80s or something. And he became like a dirt bike like motocross star. And he just changed his name. What the fuck?

It's just great. Just like my brother did when he went by Captain America. That was a good time for America. So the whole thing is, listen, I'm going to see my dad, hey man, you should come see what my sister's up to because you guys used to have a relationship. Flashback to softcore pornography. I thought it was a flashback to a porno they made.

I thought that's what they did for money in their 20s is what they just fucked in a garage. That would be more interesting. Yeah. It's like the fucking scene in the love actually, when Martin Freeman and the girl are having all the, like, 10 sex. I thought it was something like that. Like, it just cuts to this

chick getting railed on a motorcycle. And I'm like, what does this have to do with anything? Oh, they're so in love. Memories, man. Back when America meant something. This episode's brought you in part by Rocket Money. And they have this

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because the amount of storylines in this movie is out of control because now here's where the movie splinters off. Okay, so we have Morgan Williams and West Coast and they are riding. Morgan's coming up from Mexico. They're going to make the ride back all the way to wherever this sister lives, okay, for the dad's birthday.

I'm going to settle, settle the dust, make up with the old man, all this horse shit. So that's going on. Meanwhile, the old man is moving in with the sister. Old Hickok. Yeah.

Old Bill Hickok is this character, everybody. Fucking wild Bill Hickok. Whoa. he is really old He's like the grandfather from Texas chainsaw. He's 200 years old and survives on blood. So this

old pus buckets moving in with his daughter and he hates his son-in-law. He hates that he's been taken from his home. He wants to die on his farm, not live in this fancy McMansion that you're so graciously taking me in and give him a free food and shelter and making sure I don't

die in a puddle of piss on my own bathroom floor. I was fine being homeless in Austin. Why did you bring me here. It's communism. Putting clothing on my back. Plain old communism. Give me a sheet on my bed. What? How fucking

dare you? Give me a stick. Put me in the desert. I'll make it. I have no daughter. All right. Take away one of my hands. I'd rather that than you give me a hot meal. So this old codger's moving in.

So it's that, but then like the codger... It's all flashbacks. It's all flashbacks. Because now we had a, we had storylines from him. We get flashbacks of him in World War II. And it's like, you know what Easy Rider never did? Took the fucking point of view of a

demented old man. Why am I seeing the vaguest of Nazis in the world? Why? I didn't even know. I wasn't certain it was a Nazi. Yeah, I was like, is there is, there is nothing worse than a vague Nazi. You're

either up in front and open we're here, we're Nazis, whatever. You couldn't afford the swastikas, Paul? Yeah, they could not license swastikas, I feel, was it from the Hitler estate. We are big fans of Easy Rider. We do not believe in your project.

I'm sorry. So this old man, right? So he's all pissing and shitting himself and hating life. And then in comes Rance Howard, who is Ron Howard's father. He's in every Ron Howard movie. definitely seen this man in a hundred things fucking awesome in nebraska yes oh man talk about

opposite ends of the spectrum as far as rance howard movie roles this year yeah so in comes rance howard and my first thought was he it's you see a motorcycle coming up the drive dude takes off his helmet and it's like one of those tilt up right like we're going all the way i thought it was ghost rider for a second because when that skull came out of that helmet but it turned out it just Rance Howard coming to take you like the helmet comes off and it's just Rance Howard and I was like, does Ron Howard know that he did this? Like Ron and Clint got to get him like in a facility or he's got to move in with Ron or something. Yeah. How on earth was he allowed to do this movie? Does he even know where he is right now? I felt so bad for him. Like I love like Rance Howard is

like Hollywood's grandfather. Like everybody loves Rance Howard. Not anymore. Here he is slumming it in this movie. So Rance Howard, okay, is an old army buddy of the dad's and the dad doesn't want to see him they apparently haven't seen each other since world war two okay they haven't seen each other since the mid 40s and when rance howard walks through the door this old fuck's like meh nah i figured it'll be you like really dude you haven't seen this person in 70 odd years not a member of your family another member of your family since your birthday's come up you didn't think that might happen really it's this guy you haven't seen since you were in the shit so then rance howard like sits down and the whole thing

is like the daughters called them to be like listen if you come up maybe tell some of the old stories reminisce it'll get dad kind of on the right track you know feel he'll feel better about living here with me so they just start telling war stories but then after they're done war reminiscing they want to keep talking so then he's like okay so then i had all these kids and let me tell you about my first kid that went off to vietnam oh wait but before that i'm going to tell you about his life as a teenager in the bopping fucking 60s. So now we have to deal with

Virgil Williams or whatever. He's the oldest son. He's Peter Fonda's older brother and he's the one that the dad loves and he's the one that made the military career. But before that even it starts with him. Old Hickok has to explain to us

who old Hickok is. Oh that's right. His life after the war, getting the farm built up like I'm getting exhausted just talking about all the storylines and this thing. Why do we need all this shit? You know what was great about Easy Rider? It was two dudes on the road and eventually they picked up Jack Nicholson for 20 minutes. Well, now you know where they're coming from.

They were trying to escape this movie. They were trying to escape this horrendous family, apparently. Like what about the Easy Rider story felt like empty to this person, right? Like, you know what it needs? It doesn't just need two old lifelong friends on the road together. It needs one of the friends. father telling four different fucking stories around a

kitchen table. That's what Easy Rider was missing, honestly. Like what? It's not a Robert Altman movie. I don't need to see every perspective on the decades leading up to this. Oh, man. I really, and I mean, I mean, Eric is obviously correct in that Easy Rider

now has a little bit of urgency. You know why they're fucking really hauling it down the fucking state highway. Well, yes. They're getting away from this shit. Exactly. There is escaping what they know is coming later on. It's not just escaping because there's drug money going on or whatever their initial motivation is there. But yeah, just all of these intertwining stories that, by the way, makes it really confusing to follow.

Oh, yeah. There's nothing like, there's watching bad movies, but then there's watching a really incomprehensible bad movie. And you know what's confusing about Easy Rider? Nothing. not a thing not a fucking thing so I'm glad they kept with the spirit

yeah about as clean cut as a fucking movie you can get and this movie where I don't towards the end of the movie the movie is 98 minutes long

it feels like 9800 minutes long and just it feels epic speaking to Robert Altman it's as long as Nashville oh well honestly this is spanning

what like from from the 40s to present day yeah like it feels that long 1943 to 2013 When I put this movie on

Hitler was in office We were fighting him overseas And then And then when I turned it off Barack Obama was president I'm gonna tell you 88 minutes into this movie I didn't know who was Morgan

And who was Virgil I had no idea It's it's really I thought it's so super hard to tell There's no reason to do this Why? Okay listen All right

You want to give you want to give Peter Fonda's character a brother. Okay. Yep. Maybe you should stop there. Oh, you want to give him a sister? All right. But do we need the older brother who did everything right? By the way, the older brother

who doesn't appear in present day but is alive. Let's talk. I think the way to possibly break this down a little bit is to go by the characters, right? So here's Virgil. Virgil is the oldest son. Virgil is the one that's very interested in the military. He wants, wants to be a career army man like his father.

He excels in boot camp and is immediately selected to do special forces shit. He goes to Vietnam as a sniper. A.k.a. a California parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. Just a parking lot with a whole lot of fake trees. There's a couple palm trees. Some, some dirt on the ground, a couple leaves. Yeah, yeah. You're in Vietnam. It's 2007. They're still a virgin megastore in the background. Yeah.

There's a more convincing Vietnam flashback in the film Kill Crazy. Oh, yeah, without a doubt. And that's back when movies were hard to make, right? Like, this movie shot on a piece of dog shit, like digital camera. Like, anybody can make this movie. This is, this is worse. Yes, yeah. And it's, and it's acted worse.

It is. It does. It feels like the thornbirds is what it feels like. It feels like this big, sprawling story of this fucking wealthy family, except for it's a shitty family it's the shittiest of in a fucking shitty ranch in the middle of nowhere with the shittiest of cinematography the shittiest of acting it's lit like a soft core porno like if if it actually just turned into softcore pornogic like if someone it's like that scene in caligula right where like they just ridiculously peer through that hole in the wall and it's like two chicks

fucking each other like if that happened in this movie it's like well all right that's totally feasible because that's the level that we're on with this movie. Old Bill Hickok in this movie has more makeup on than Jenna Jameson. It is. Now, so Virgil, I don't lose this. Here was my question. Is Virgil

the one who has the rich girlfriend or is that Morgan when he was younger? No, that's Virgil. That is Virgil. Yes. So Virgil, here's, yeah, we'll start at the beginning of Virgil. Virgil, he's a high school baseball star.

they're very poor he's from the wrong side of the tracks falls in love with the rich girl from the rich high school okay and then you know they they've got like a secret romance going on it's very sweet he rides a motorcycle the pick her up the parents don't approve blah blah blah blah so then we go one night they're going on a date and Virgil drives are on the motorcycle out to this like abandoned house lights a nice fire they're making out like it's like a gazebo like in a park it seems like it's a park gazebo with a full functioning fireplace. I don't know what's going on. It's before the war. We were allowed to have this. Back when America was free. It's like the gazebo. It made me think of the gazebo where the troublesome daughter in Uncle Buck is hanging out when Uncle Buck first comes to get her in the middle of the night. Made me think about that a little bit. You know what? Easy Rider could have used Uncle Buck. Oh, man. She'd have a man. If John Candy just broke down the door

in this movie in some capacity, that would be fantastic and impossible. and impossible. Well, maybe him and Dennis Hopper, you know, like a ghost squad. I would love them to come back as furious paltgeists and burn down this dude's house. I would applaud it.

So Virgil takes this chick out to this gazebo, lights of fire, they're about to get down and whatnot. And then all of a sudden, this biker gang rolls up. Oh, man, I've heard about these. Yeah, right?

But they're bikers, right? It's easy ride or the ride back. He loves bikers, right? How can he be bad? How can a biker be bad? Bikers are the heroes of the movie. Or are they? So then here comes these three bikers,

these fucking big bearded fat dudes. And surprise, surprise, everybody. A talentless hack made a movie where there's a huge rape scene in it. And it's not just any rape scene. They pin this woman down and they gang raper. And then they turn to the dude

and say, don't think we forgot about you. nice artistic fade to black you are making it sound so much nicer than it is because folks at home i mean i'm trying not to be vile because this is fucking vile to quote a film so never thought prince of tides would have a light touch by the way hey i i think you broker cherry is what this dude says and then he's like well ho don't forget about pretty boys over here oh oh so now Now Virgil, if you're following me, Virgil's now getting his cherry busted. So that happens.

And because of that, this guy decides to go to Vietnam because his life's been ruined back home. Which is interesting because apparently she's untouchable now to him. Well, she goes off and marries like the rich dude. Some rich guy. Oh, she took the easy way. Well, probably because his presence is a constant reminder of the horrendous thing that fucking happened. That's also possible. And how he couldn't keep her safe, he took her to an unsafe area, you know, the deck stuck against him.

So he goes to Vietnam because his life's ruined, right? So the dad thinks that this is like this great patriotic move, like, here's my son serving his country. No, he didn't tell you that he was gang raped by motorcyclists and is fleeing the country. What? I thought you were going to go defeat communism. No, he's just running away from painful men. Well, Bill Hillcock to me, it's the same voice as the rapist bikers, yes. So he goes to Vietnam and he's on a special assignment in this one California parking lot scene we have

where there's a sniper who's been taking out all of these, you know, American troops. So he's got to go in as the trained U.S. sniper and they're going to raid this one area of the jungle and he's supposed to take this dude out. So it's like a really shitty war scene. They try to advance. They get shot. one guy gets shot down hilariously this dude gets

his thumb shot off I love this addition like I still can't believe we're getting multiple war flashbacks multiple war flashbacks and three different wars discussed in this movie

because Hickok's grandson is currently serving in Iraq so that's the scope everybody's loving war in this movie I don't even think the original mentions the war much it doesn't i mean that's the whole it's like we're so counterculture

like we've removed ourselves from that issue more or less you know what i mean and again this is nothing about being like it's not bad to be a patriot it's not bad to serve in the military but just don't call yourself easy rider what you do it exactly so here we he's in vietnam he's doing this thing and he finds the sniper and he blows his brains out goes up to check out what's going on

and lo and behold he's murdered a child good job worst effects ever to you I mean I've seen better it's a watermelon exploding yeah a little bit

yeah they pour they pour watermelon juice on on a leaf and it's like look you got shot so it's also grainy like it's over like overexposed

and it looks like garbage you gotta find some way to make it look like a hot jungle and a fucking course he has the hard ass like black sergeant telling him like, yeah, you got to do this, buddy.

Like, it's so, you don't have to fit that many cliches into 90 minutes. You really don't. I know you want to. Yeah. But you don't. So then the whole thing is like, this dude comes back from Vietnam and he's like rattled. He was never the same.

And then all of a sudden, it's this insane Charles Bronson revenge movie for about three and a half minutes. We cut to Virgil. He's back in his hometown. He goes into the local bar looking like fucking a Assassin's Creed with his hood up. Looks like the fisherman from I know what you did last summer.

Yes, he's got that camo hood over, over his face. And he actually asks, he asks the bartender about the specific guy by name. Yeah. Yeah, is this dude here, whatever the guy's like, yeah, he's in the bathroom or whatever, right? Or something. So he's like, he's like, oh, have a bloody Mary sent over to him. And I'm like, you're really laying it on thick. here's my face just you know take this all in before uh before uh i get the well well his eyes are

slightly covered so no one would be the wise of course and this whole bullshit thing is like you know this dude go the the the lead rapist goes to the bathroom this virgil comes in and he fucking cuts his throat with piano wire and he says you won't be popping any cherries anymore or whatever yeah he's like your cherry poppin days are over yeah and then just kills this dude and then just walks out of the walks out of the bathroom, walks out of the bar, and there's nothing.

No, never prosecution. Nothing. No, we're told that the guys like coming to this old bastard's birthday party. There's no like, I wish Virgil could come, but he's in jail forever. Actually, I think I just realized something.

Okay, easy rider. They get killed. No one cares. This guy gets killed. Murder wasn't a crime until after Vietnam. There you go. Yep, that's the one. Until way after Vietnam, I mean, you know.

Like 88 maybe. Carter, fucking Carter did it. First, first he criminalizes murder. Then his brother puts out Billy Beer. This is really unfair. A tainted family. So then we have, who, Morgan? Well, then there's Morgan.

And Morgan's whole thing. Well, why it's older than him, but we know his story. We already know. but in case we didn't were brought up to speed in the first few minutes of that movie before he fucking mentions

9-11 for no reason just so everybody still remembers that little tidbit and am I wrong in thinking there's a young Wyatt yes in like the jacket

and he kind of looks like the singer for Arctic monkeys yeah no he totally does yeah yeah there is there is a moment of him like

smoking a cigarette being like oh I'm just got you on my pad here Harley Davidson's are the best motorcycle great great characterization The whole thing that, but we do, see, that's the thing, man, that's, this movie is the gift that keeps ungiving. You thought you loved Peter Fonda's character and Easy Rider?

Will you love it even more because this movie fleshes out stuff you didn't know? Like, so the matriarch of this family blows her brains out one day, to which is blamed on the fact that, well, they just didn't know about postpartum depression back then, so she just blew her fucking brains out. That is literally the voiceover. And that, no, no, that wasn't even Andrew. that was a clip that's exactly how it sounds so we're told that Peter Fonda's character

left town and did not attend the funeral left right before the funeral and the biggest piece of horse shit taking a dump on this character's memory aside from this entire movie is they're getting ready to have it like it's like the morning of the funeral and the grandfather the father is saying

like you know we all knew Virgil was going to leave before, or not Virgil, Wyatt. We all knew Wyatt was going to leave before the funeral. He told us that much himself, blah, blah, blah. It has the audacity to place young Wyatt, young Peter Fonda sitting in a cemetery in an above ground mausoleum thing just like the, like mirroring the LSD scene. It has the audacity to be like, remember that great disturbing scene in that movie? Well, here it is kind of too. He loves sitting in cemeteries. Remember when he was tripping out on assid, hugging a wall? Well, he was thinking about his mom.

But you didn't know that. I don't give a fuck. I really don't. I mean, and the thing about that scene in Easy Rider is that's Peter Fonda actually thinking about his actual mother who had recently passed. Like, that's all like real shit. And then this garbage pile of a movie is like, and we're going to take that and repurpose it and kind of just give you a little elbow to the ribs about it. Because the performance does all the work in Easy Rider. Like, it's the direction and the performances that really drive it.

The writing, I mean, it matters, but it's not, it's, it's more about talking and it's not so much about getting to a point. This movie. It's also kind of travelogue. Yeah, exactly. And it's got beautiful scenery of, of a lot of different locales of America. And this movie, no. It's discussion of big ideas. In this movie, it's just like, well, you could think about it, or you could just believe what we should.

and like you know what don't form your own opinion just listen to some more of this fart rock yeah that's what you have to do and around the time that that woman kills herself like oh bill hillcock in that that narration there talks about

you know how god country and love once once meant something and like how it was it was another the expression I'm getting sick and tired of this expression of well that was another America like it's like it's like a completely

different thing. No way connected. When white men could do whatever they damn well placed. Exactly. And here's the part of the problem also with a movie like this is it's made by a guy who thinks that the 1960s

revolution was another America. It was just told when I was young, that's when it mattered. The 16th century would the high mark far as I'm concerned. Yeah, it's just this bullshit idea of like that was oh it was okay to think that way then but that was another america this america that weren't you can't possibly have those same values yeah because you know civil rights

semi rights like what are you talking about like what what what makes that america so much i mean i'm not even i'm sorry it's another podcast it's a different it's a different podcast it's a four hour long different podcast eric ciska's hate purge yeah so I guess the just is like the 1960s murdered this family. Yes. Like, oh, she had to blow her brains out because, you know, we didn't have, we didn't know what... Scientist didn't find out about the postpartum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck them, too.

And by the way, it couldn't possibly be that this woman's married to this horrible idiot. Suspect number one is you. Oh, oh, no, it was. Yes, oh, postpartum depression. That sounds like what my wife may have had. Like, yeah, maybe she did, and clearly that's a real thing. But this guy is so, like, I just gave her everything. And she still killed herself.

Like, come on. And then in the, in the flashback, we see him with Morgan, who has become a hippie-dippy. Oh, yeah. And by the way, the way they show hippie-dippy is a bunch of blacklight posters being like zoomed into and like, like, not Janice Joplin, like, Fanny Joplin. It's Janie Jimplin from 30. Yeah, the understanding of drug culture that this movie has is like your father busted into your teenage room being like, cut it out with that smoking that racket. You know, it doesn't embody, it doesn't understand it. It has no, it doesn't try to.

It's, it's all, it's all summed up in a hot topic black light poster. Like that's all it is because like we're introduced to young Morgan. Glad my brother died for that. Yeah, yeah. You know, we're introduced to the young Morgan. he's he's you know getting it on with his girl Janie Jimplin's playing there's four different black light posters with mushrooms on them you know what I mean

and then like this kid comes in and he's get out of here I'm trying to fuck your sister and he's like oh someone just delivered this for you and it's his draft card so of course we have a draft card burning scene everybody and he's just screaming and hoot and hollering about the whole thing and his father

wearing one of the worst fake mustaches I've seen in my life the thing is coming off they age the actor playing the young father so poorly it's just one bad Halloween costume after another it's so fucking terrible because you can clearly see

the piece of tape curling up from the sweat it's coming off and like you're just like come the fuck on already man any effort I would have loved it but no so he's burning his draft card And right then, disownment. Yep, that's it.

Done with you. You're a traitor. Get off my land. You don't understand what America is. And by the way, and you, Chris, you mentioned this on last week's episode when I gave the hint for what this movie is when you said, don't think it's more American graffiti.

More American graffiti, which is a bad movie, at least has its head on its shoulders and knows exactly what kind of message it's bringing to addressing something that, you know, occurred several decades after, or, you know, a decade or so, 15 years, something like that.

You know, for those of you who haven't seen it, more American graffiti is all about, you know, like Ron Howard's character, you know, is going to all these Vietnam war protests. Richard Dreyfis' character has dodged the draft and gone to Canada. It's a very anti-war Vietnam movie. So are there flashbacks to World War II in this at all?

Unfortunately not. And that's what makes more American graffiti bad. Any prequels stuff in there? Like any Bob Falfa as a little kid? You actually get Bob Falfa's grandfather in the Civil War fighting for the Confederacy. Oh, really?

Yeah. You get that. Well, that makes sense. I guess it, yeah, yeah. That's why he was a dick. A lot of great code action in that one. I mean, like, I can't believe I just used more American graffiti as an example of a superior film to something. Because it's not a good movie, but

at least that knows what it's trying to say like this movie has so many mixed messages that are just like budding heads with each other it's embarrassing it's again it's the it's the stoner conservative thing it's like one of those things we're like man we don't really care what you think except for here's the thing if you don't like war go fuck yourself like that's kind of what's going on here is because my one of my favorite lines it's the far it's it's the burning the draft card scene and the son says i disapprove of what you say but i will defend to the death your right to say it.

Right. Famous quote. And makes his point completely clear. And the father said, You have no right to quote a great patriot, smack, you traitor. How dare you quote somebody who completely makes your point clear and concise? What? Well, that's the thing, right?

And that's the whole horrible argument that this movie is made. making is the people who say like it's impossible to love your country and be patriotic but also be anti-war. Love it or leave it. Exactly. Love it or leave it. But that's it's the same shit right. It's like I say

you know we should we should have pulled out of Iraq. We should never been there. Oh, I hate my country. Like that's that's the the thesis. Hey man calm down. Yeah. Wait. Hey. Hey. Calm down. Did you just say you hate America? You hate your country? That's exactly what I said.

Well, line for line. It's a good thing. We got listeners abroad. So we're kind of done. So we're done with Morgan the past story. We don't really, and of course, because the only real, you know, major female in the cast, of course, we don't hear anything of what Shane Williams. Shane, the sister, the daughter, you know, she, whatever, she just got married to this fucking

bigillionaire. Things happen. But the only thing we know about her prior to that, we do see young Shane. is when she's in her relationship. Getting bopped. Getting bopped with West Coast. You know what I mean? So by the way, back to West Coast

and Morgan Williams, man. So they're on their road trip. And they take a little stop off in what is the most ridiculous scene in this movie. Of all the things we've talked about and stuff we still have left to wrap up, this is the most ridiculous, embarrassing, out of place,

wrongheaded scene in this movie. this movie. Here's the thing. You could be talking about four scenes right now. All right, well, let me narrow it down a little bit. So they're on their road trip and they pull over at the Salton Sea. Side of one of the most greatest examples of pollution and us destroying

this world, right? So the narration is like, you know, we pulled off at the Salt and Sea side of the greatest environmental atrocity, blah, blah, blah. You could see it as clear as 9-11. So then he's like, he's saying like West Coast decided to take a of winks on the bike, I decided I'd go have a look around. And it's, it cuts to someone

singing America the Beautiful while this jackass just walks around picking up like fish skeletons. It's like cutaway shots. Yeah, yeah. It's B-roll of like just, yeah, cartoonish fish skeletons. It's an environmentally charged music video starring Heathcliff. Well, it's a garbage dump and like, you know, I wish it was the Cadillac cats. but this is a Heathcliff level movie. No, no, no. Heathcliff would be bumpings. He turned down this movie.

That's why we just got the fish bones. He was the first choice for West Coast. Look, I want to get this goddamn animated cat as my Dennis Hopper surrogate. What is so hard about that? I just watched Roger Rabbit. You can do it. I know it.

He's just poking some kid in the chest. Do it on the pewter. Do it. Use your fancy. box, you make me a goddamn cat. I know it's another America now. You can do it. You can make Paul Giamondi look like a human being.

You can definitely do this. How great would it be in this movie? His sidekick was just an animated cat, and no one acknowledged that he was in an animated cat. That would be fucking great. And then the animated cat, you know, Heathcliff would be like, remember when I was fucking your sister? Yeah, exactly.

How awesome would that be? He would be like fucking Howard the Duck. So he's walking around. And, like, they sing the entirety of America. Oh, yeah. And this is, it's a terrible rendition. It's really, it's really, let's get that on the record. It's garbage.

It's not doing the song any justice. We play the whole thing. I literally hated America after watching that. This movie makes you hate America. I'm sorry, it does, yeah. So, so it ends. And he just says something like, uh, we really have to like do something for this nation. We got to start taking better care of this planet, man.

Man is what he says. There's a lot of man. Like, this guy's still saying man. man, even though he's got no business doing that. I think Fonda said something similar to that in the original, but it wasn't fucking so hammy.

It's so hammy. Well, that's also why I didn't know he was Morgan, because he's, Jeff Fahey keeps calling him man. And he keeps calling Jeff Fahey, man. The only reason I know that Jeff Fahey is West Coast, because his fucking name is West

Coast. That's right. It's so incredibly stupid. It's impossible to forget you know what i mean their last name is williams so that's instantly a million people in this country you know what i mean and then we just have the morgan virgil who could possibly care you know they did this movie does what i do in real life which is like if i've met

you and then i don't remember your name hey man has it got because i don't know who the fuck i'm talking that helps a whole lot of work you know what yeah exactly i'm living in a world Nothing but man's. But why, when you're making a movie, you know, you can't be calling four different people man in a movie. Well, that just made, you know, that's a little... It's a tip of the hat to a film called Easy Rider that we really dug, you know? So can we talk about you, that's up there.

But can we talk about my least favorite moment or just the most stupid moment of this whole movie? Oh, man. Is when... Drum roll, please. They stop off at the siddle. side of the road. And I think it's the warrior moment when the guy's talking about war.

There is this, I guess she's a waitress and she's just, like she just is hanging out behind them. And all of a sudden she says some comment, like, oh, I'm a biker too. Oh, this is when they go, they go to West Coast's buddies place.

Well, no, they go, this is what happens. Are you talking about the chick that scores them weed? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happens is they go. They're like, hey, hey, you know what we'll get some weed around here, a little puff puff? Where can a couple of old guys score some reefer?

And she goes, well, we call it pot. And then Jeff Faye, he goes, pot. Like it's some fucking, it's a huge surprise. Oh, pot. I've never heard of that before. Furnacular used on the fucking front of Thai magazine. So she goes into the diner's kitchen and gets them some oregano. And they're like, oh, this is great.

That's great weed. I really feel like I'm smoking a pizza But this should tell you about all you need to know about this movie Is that after this They're like, oh yeah, I just got to go get it For whatever reason For the next two minutes I'm watching like her driving her motorcycle

Because she's I guess the most attractive woman On screen in this entire movie A girl on a bike And there's like this song about like She's the wind and she's fucking going through the air motherfucker like it just she's gonna get us pot and she's gone in a minute it's amazing they fucking leave her at the place where they got the weed and they just keep going you know what you do when you smoke weed

talk about iraq yeah nothing better than sitting around stone just arguing over geopolitical issues like that yeah yep exactly what you want to be doing don't discuss what season family matters really dropped down you know it was probably around the time Urkel started dressing up like his cousin Myrtle Urkel. Yeah, I believe so. Hey guys, I got to stop on this road trip. I would like to highlight too, because that's not all

the places they go. Yeah. They go to a titty bar. Oh, man. Pretty early on. They go to a... That's like the first thing you do, because Jeff Vahey, I can't understand. The first couple words he says on the motorcycle, I can't understand what he's saying, because the fart rock. They're at, like, 12,

and they are talking. They're not even yelling. they're talking at like a four. Yeah. Over motorcycles and over fart rock. And all I heard was, Titties! Yeah. So then you get your gratuitous breasts all over the place.

Yeah. This movie has more than easy rider. And of course there's a scene where Jeff Faye has to defend the honor of a table dancer. Yep, that's right. They go into a bar fight because, you know. There's a really dumb ass joke in this scene, too. So like this basically what happens It's a bar

I don't think it's like a sanction strip club There's just like women dancing on this bar And Jeff Faye he's clearly Regular because he walks in like Fucking Norm Peterson And like West Coast Woo And so he's like

Drinking whiskey I barely speak And he's just going on and on And they're drinking whiskey And it's a lot of like Hey man Haven't seen you in a while Yeah man

It's been a long time God damn it whiskey and boobs Yeah, yeah. And then this dude... Hey, that's counterculture, everyone. And this dude comes up, and he's getting like a little frisky with one of the women, you know. And she's like, get off me, you pervert and whatnot. And then Jeff Faye, he just cracks this Jack Daniels bottle over this dude's head and it doesn't break.

And then he does it again and it doesn't break. And then he's like, oh, it didn't break. Well, that only happens in the movies, I guess. Oh, man, he said that, but he's in a movie. He's in a movie. it only happens in movies, but it just happened. It's pretty badda, isn't it? And then my fucking head exploded.

Counterculture. By the way, before they ask that girl to go scorn some weed, they've gone to this place where he's, it's West Coast's ex-motor cross rival. Okay? This is what happens. So they're on the road, and he's like, oh, hey, you know, this, this, uh, This fella I used to know he's on the way. I haven't seen him in a while.

You know, let's pass. And it's this dude. He's got like a compound where he feeds homeless people. Oh, yeah. And he tells this whole story about how like him and West Coast were like motocross rivals. And then this dude got into an accident and he couldn't race anymore. And then he basically just goes through this thing where he's like, and then he was diagnosed with cancer. And then the doctor said he wasn't going to make it.

And then he beat the cancer. And you know what West Coast was with him the whole time and you know what I can't wait to meet him like that you don't know what you don't believe me you don't believe me you don't believe me here later that year he was diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live Rieger beat the cancer and the West was with him every day around the clock since then Rieger's been given back and I can't wait. to meet him. Oh yeah. Listen to that just atonal nothing. Fucking who cares.

And this guy is such a terrible actor, this guy that plays the buddy that when he's delivering his first few lines, I thought he was trying to speak in like

iambic pantameter. Like he's delivering these lines like on a beat and I was like, oh, that's kind of a weird thing for this person to be doing but whatever,

I guess that's a character trait. And then he just stops doing it. And then I was like, Oh, no, he's just the worst actor I've ever seen. Well, he's also clearly one of those actors who's really, really scared of looking directly at the camera. Because he's always trying to twist his head, like, kind of out of like... I mean, I think he's just a dude who's not an actor, like, most of the people in this movie. Yeah.

So it's like, oh, what do you want me to do? Where do you want me to look? They all work at the firm of Paul Pitzer in Cincinnati. It's all his lawyer buddies. Like, hey, you like Easy Rider? want to help ruin it that is the pitch right yeah

it's it should be you hate easy rider you want to help ruin it yeah show those those pussies those goddamn hippies so we should talk about one more thing before we get to the finale

okay go ahead and it leads right into the finale notice how I mean a lot of the time a lot of the time people are like we love how they just go through the movie We kind of can't with this. I don't know where we are. It's like we're doing this in the dark. You know what I mean?

Like I just have no. This movie is just a bunch of twists and turns and dead ends. To tell this, to try to go through from beginning to end with, it would have to be like an Ocean's 11 type situation where we have 11 people discussing 11 different storylines and then making fun of it on their own time. And it turns out that this whole movie was just a rude. for us to rob some Vegas Casinos. While you're listening to this, we robbed your house. Andy Garcia's

fucking pissed. There's no movie. There's no movie at all. Gotcha. It's fake. It's a fake movie. Man, I wish that could be the case. I wish we could just come clean and be like, we got you, everybody. This movie isn't real. But you know what? It's so real. It's dangerous. That's the thing is, if we made it up, it'd be better. It'd be more fluid. We wouldn't, we wouldn't be stopping and starting and yelling

and being frustrated. I will. Wilfred Brimley would star in it for some reason. I really don't think Virgil would be involved. No, because it's not a character you need for fuck all anything. So, yes. One of the flashbacks. I'm sweating. One of the flashbacks with Old Hickok when he was a young man,

they're listening to the radio, and it's like the Williams family around the radio. Yeah. And he's, Jackie Robinson has just. done something he's just he's just the first was yeah he's been integrated i didn't know if it was just a game that he was listening to well i don't think i don't think it's supposed to be like that moment but it's like at that time jacky robinson has now started playing in the white league and he goes on this whole fucking tirade about how like jacky robinson is like a like should really really you know it should really instill

passion in the white man like it's a whole weird fucking thing where he's like you know he can teach us a lot of stuff about ourselves about us yeah how we're fucking horrible yeah I know it's just like what is this what's going on

oh I think I think we're an America ended in another one is starting I think that's what what he's trying to teach his children is if you want to end the era for a country do something as revolutionary and brave as Jackie Robinson did and then you know you'll just stop that country and start another one like I don't even know what

inspiration this dude is drawing from Jackie Robinson's story it's just it's like it's like a last ditch effort let's get on the civil rights yeah bandwagon which is a big yeah you know a big thing and it should I don't know if it should be addressed in this movie it's just vaguely it's just like vague that's a thing it is in this movie just vaguely inspiring. I think it shouldn't just be vaguely inspiring. No, but I think it's a little bit of the motivation of putting

that in there is to be like assuring the audience, the three of us that watch this movie, assuring the audience that no, this guy, while being a curmudgety old fucker, isn't a racist. Which I feel is like the one thing where this,

that character could go either way on. So this is the like the dumb, half-assed way that they're like, yeah, he's not a he's not entirely terrible he he well he can tolerate you know them i mean he hate that's who don't want to get shot but you know he's okay with you know he'll he'll he'll hate his own son's guts for standing up for what he believes in but he draws inspiration from jacky robinson so it all balances out and when when finally morgan stepped you know touches down yeah when when the when the ride home has been completed.

Touches down at the ranch. It's brought up again and there's a very, like, this is how he tries to get back with Kickock. Right. Initially he's, the old man mistakes him for Wyatt because he's wearing and driving Wyatt.

He's wearing his clothes and he's driving his motorcycle. He's got his haircut. He's kind of just pretty much stolen his identity. He's got the scarf around his neck. Yeah, he's really just, he've Ripplead his own brother. I think Morgan was one of the rednecks in that truck that killed him. Oh, I bet.

That's why he got the bike. Oh, my God. He's not even related. Yep, dude. He's just the fucking gunman. I bet he is. And then he got, because then that cool jacket and that motorcycle was right there waiting for him.

And then the real Morgan came out looking for that stuff. And then he got his throat slit. And now he goes down to Mexico for 20 years. and then suddenly this this you know this sister comes snooping around right he's like this is it she's got she's got millions got wise got a no no no i can do this i can blend in i can be him i can act like a robot enough that i'll fit in with this family so they go he goes up there probably to uh you know get a piece piece of the action yeah i think so i mean i don't know how much Hickok is leaving everybody

fucking not a red cent dude. It's all going to the local VFW. So while Hickok and Morgan are talking Fahey and Shane are off. Shane is the name of the sister. Yes. They're doing their thing. They're busy rekindling.

Yeah, that's something, something. I guess it. Remember that porno we made, huh? Hey, yeah, remember that time we fucked on that motorcycle and I filmed it? You did what? Anyway, I'm back. Remember biker butts? 12 top seller so you're married now huh what's that like it's too bad well geez you're married

the day Shane Williams got married whoa hey one America ended then too you're ending americas you uh happy or what he's got to be loaded right I mean he's got to be I mean my balls ached about two decades ago and I was like you know what either another Titanic is happening or Shane Williams got married and thus Lynn New America began so when

Morgan first comes up yes he's mistaken for Peter Fonda and then he's like oh it's you but why is the son that ran away to do drugs on the road until he died

like why is that son better than the one that stood up against Vietnam and that's the great mystery to this but I think the answer to that is the person who wrote this movie is such a fan

of the first movie even though he clearly has no idea what that movie's about that he cannot under any circumstances vilify one of the heroes of that movie

so he's off limits he's totally off limits even though his lifestyle and life choices go against everything that this father stands for right like

Wyatt didn't go and serve in Vietnam Wyatt ran away and didn't even attend his mother's funeral he moved to Los Angeles And got in good with guys with beards. He became a drug dealer.

And this dude's like, oh, I thought you were your angelic brother Wyatt. But it's just you, the draft dodger. He actually, I believe he actually calls him a godless piece of shit. Yeah. It's one of the actual lines. So the guy's like, listen, Pop, I know we've had our differences. But remember that time you told us that story about Jackie Robinson? and he just goes into the thing

and he says everything that the dad told him and then somewhere manages to work in the N-word which, what the fuck are you even doing? Maybe that's to keep the old man's attention. I don't really know what's going on. It's possible. But so he's basically like, I was listening to you the whole time.

I've always listened to you. I've led my life based on your beliefs. And then the dad is just like, he's like, well, all right then. And that's it. 40 years of disgusting. and hate just melt away. And they hug, and it's beautiful.

And then he lets the dead drive the Captain America motorcycle. Oh, yeah, right. The guy's in a wheelchair half the time. I guess we're not in America anymore, in Obama, Erica. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. That's a different America, too. And so we have the narration back where we started, you know,

and he's talking about how. Shockingly, he doesn't. doesn't manage to fucking shoehorn in another 9-11 tribute. But he's talking about, like, later, like, dad went on the, dad went on the ride. And, like, they're driving motorcycles. And he's like, you know, and later that day, you know, Virgil came over to the house. We're going to have a party. And West Coast tells us that he's got the greatest fucking surprise we've ever seen.

And then he says, the last line of this movie is just, if there's one thing I hate, it's fucking surprises. fade to black as if it were an action movie you know what this movie was a fucking surprise oh god yeah as it was an action movie the dude should have also said and all this time I wasn't even supposed to come to work today I'm on vacation and all this shit happened

or like what what are you even talking so Jeff Fahey who doesn't get a final sign off in the movie says that he's got some surprise what he lives miles away they've been driving for days he has no connections to this town what surprise could Jeff Fahey West Coast possibly

have that's not weed well it turns out that after the nine months after the porno was made he sold their kid for like a good grand and he's going to give her the cut finally I think here's your $500 for a child we had

that I sold the pair of I think that's his surprise I mean and this movie just It doesn't even end with glorious shots of, like, motorcycle riding. It just ends with them just on the farm. And it's one thing I hate, it's fucking surprises. Well, I mean, I would kind of love it if they were, if he said that and they were, like, riding out. And then, like, all of a sudden, like, a helicopter or Jeremy Irons comes down and he's shooting at him.

Because then maybe you can hate surprises because that's a fucking surprise. That's a huge surprise, man. And I just thought of something, healthy white baby. You're going to get more than $1,000. Well, back then, though. No, I think even back then, they're pretty, I mean. I mean, you are the expert on this.

I'm telling you, man, it's not cheap. All right. My price point was off. Eric himself was sold for $10,000, I believe, was the going rate. I was raised by gypsies partially part of the time. Why do you like rags all the time? I do. I'm partial to rags.

and sleeping under bridges and I love our old gypsy curses that I grew up with such as fuck and thinner you gotta say it with the gypsy you gotta twist the hand a little bit you do have to twist your fingers

you got to get a little more action than that I think the fuck the fuck the fuck Oh, Gypsy Carson is And so that's just the end of this movie What a piece of shit

That's your 98-minute movie. Take it. You know what? I'm going to say it right now. I think this might be the worst movie we've ever done. I know I've said that before, but I would watch Nuki over this. Oh, yeah, easily. But the thing is, we haven't said that in a while.

We've actually, we knew to take a break. Yeah, we're dialed it back. So it actually means something when we say it. Okay, guys, this is what happens. All right. Whenever we say that, one America ends and a new one begins. That's true. So I'm playing the flag right now.

After watching this movie, boom, New America. This is the worst movie we've done on the show. It's not a recommend. No, clearly none of us recommend this movie. It's a very close. I mean, I will say this. It is one of those things where you have to see it to believe it. It is, but I will say this.

I can't wait to do a live commentary of this. Yeah. There isn't a date booked or anything like this, but it's one of those movies where you're sitting there and you're just like, I could be making fun of that. I could be making fun of that. Oh, that's funny. I could be making fun of that. Again, you need the Ocean's 11th to really go at this movie. You really have that. We need 12 different screenings in 12 different parts of the city just to cover all the horse shit that's going on in this movie. I mean, yeah, it's not a recommend. I'm right in the middle because I can't recommend. I just really can't. Yeah. But you really have no idea what this is. It's so insane and just like so wrongheaded. Well, here's the thing. I'll build the mystery back up for this movie.

Hey, folks, does this movie actually exist? Maybe it doesn't. Find out for yourself if we've just been lying this entire time. Because it's so unbelievable that this is a movie. I thought when I saw the listing for it, I was like, well, this can't mean, when it says Easy Rider, the ride, it can't mean the Dennis Hopper movie. It's got to be referencing something else.

I was certain it was a documentary about the making of the movie. Yeah. I was certain, right? That title would make sense, too. Maybe that's what the real movie is and we just. Maybe we've just been pulling the wool over your ears. Maybe Heathcliff doesn't star in this movie. Well, they had me go until they,

They started telling me that the guy's partner was an animated cat. And it fell apart from me there. Here's the recommendation. Pick up the BBS box set. Watch all of those movies a thousand times. Because that is how you make movies with messages. You know what I mean? And then if you have any time after that,

maybe like watch five minutes of this. Just to see the 9-11 drop. Watch the first five minutes so you can see that heinous, disgusting 9-11 reference. that's easy rider the ride back from 2013 directed by Dustin Riker if you want to get a hold of us or find out more information about this show check out our website WHMpodcast.com

we got a Facebook page like us on there or follow us on Twitter we are at WHM podcast we were very involved in the social media community so come chat with us on there write us an email if you'd like we all hit movies at gmail.com and wherever you get the show whether it's Stitcher, iTunes, whatever. Please give us a rating and a review. Increase the profile of the show wherever it is. You get it.

It would help us out. Makes you look pretty cool because you listen to the show. So it's win-win for everybody. Sorry, I wanted to draw attention to that part. People should rate and review. Hey, hey, show's free, right? Maybe you say something nice about us, huh? There you go.

There you go. Say something nice about us on the internet. Or... Fuck. The fuck. gypsy curse as a side eric has a sister show of ours blame it on outer space our conspiracy theory takedown show which by the way is a comedy show oh what did you know that did you know you host a comedy show you know it's really hard for me because i'm there's two

different versions of eric siska that i'm throwing up in the air yeah it's a real dead ringers thing you got to worry no no no you this persona's different okay it's a comedy show yeah don't tell the other guy that, though. He'll rip your fucking throat out. Blame it on Outerspace.com. They're on Stitcher and iTunes. Rate and review them there, too. What do you got working on?

What's coming out? You ever hear about that fellow named Andy Kaufman? Yeah, a taxi? Right. Still with us. Oh, shit, dude. Tune on Outerspace. You're blowing the lid off that, huh?

Yeah, I think you might even help. I might even, you might even say I'm on the episode. Yes. At Blame Spacepad on Twitter. They also have a Facebook page. All right, so we've been doing this now. I'd like getting in the habit of giving hints. Because let me tell you something.

Our listeners are really good at picking up on the hints. So a hint for next week's movie. It co-stars a Disney Channel persona. Nice. Yeah, that works. Eric, who was trying to think of his own hint, was dissatisfied with Chris's hit. No, no, no. It's okay.

The film in question stars someone who used to be a figurehead on the Disney channel. We'll put it that way. And of course, remember, it's from 2013. So we'll be digging into that. And I guess you could say we're putting the pedal to the metal. See what I did. They're helping everybody help it a little bit more. That's it for this week.

Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Cisker. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. Thank you.