We Hate Movies - S4 Ep142: Episode 142 - A Good Day to Die Hard

Episode Date: January 28, 2014

In this week's episode, the gang caps off their Worst of 2013 month with a trip to Mother Russia in the laziest chapter in the Book of McClane yet, A Good Day to Die Hard! How is John McClane Sr. a terminator in this movie? How do you do a Die Hard movie without a memorable villain? And how does McClane not know how the CIA works? Plus: Meet John's older, more successful, Louisiana born brother, Sass McClane! A Good Day to Die Hard stars Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch and Yuliya Snigir; directed by John Moore. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey gang, this only applies if you are listening to this episode on the day it drops, which is Tuesday, January 28th, because tomorrow, Wednesday, January 29th, we will be back at the People's Improv Theater in New York City doing a live show talking about Masters of the Universe starring Frank Langela and Dauph Lungren as E.T. who has cancer. I don't know. The Skeletor look is not great. You're talking about human. No, no, no, no. Frank Glenn Geller in the whole thing. Right, yeah. Yeah, no, yeah, he's got some medical conditions. Yeah, he looks like human garbage in that movie. Yeah, it's not good.

So we will be there on hand 930 p.m. show. Is that correct? Yes, that is correct. It is in the underground theater, and it is $5. $5 for a full bar, a night of comedy. You really cannot beat the people's improv theater. So come on now. And as far as people asking about whether or not the episode's

going to be released and recorded. Here's the policy on live episodes. They only get released if the room is over half capacity. That's what it is. That's right. Can't just be waiting for these live episodes to drop and we're talking to two people in my wife. Hey, New York listeners, if you want this to happen for everyone else, maybe support some local comedy once in a while. Turn into a little bit of a Jewish mother here. If you wanted to come out now. Yeah, we're guilt tripping you a little bit. I know I live all the way in Aferia, but the least you could

do is visit what so on. You know, we got a lot of listeners all over the globe, but I know for a fact, statistically, we have a ton of listeners in the New York City metro area. So come on out. Tomorrow night, the 29th of January 9.30 p.m. visit the pit

n.n.yc.com for tickets. And by the way, everybody, just a few short days from now is the deadline for the animation, damnation animation contest. Like we've been saying throughout the entire month, you get one to two minutes of audio from our first episode of animation damnation, which was on the He-Man-Shira Christmas special. Animate our voices over whatever you want, one to two minutes, nothing longer than two, nothing shorter than one. Mail it to We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. If your video is the

selected winner, you will receive a month's worth of plugs from us and send us three titles that you would like us to make episodes out of. We'll pick one and we'll do it. Your work plugged for an entire month. And hey, you know, request month's coming up and your pick's not getting in there. So you might want to take advantage of this. Yeah, exactly.

You want a second chance of getting, you know, a pick of yours on the air? Enter Animation Damnation's Animation Challenge. You have till the 31st, Midnight Eastern. Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. And we hate movies.

Hello, everyone, welcome to the We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in to our fine program. If you're new to the show, welcome. Thank you for checking us out. Have a seat. Take your coat off. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hey, Eric. Oh, I was talking to the new list. Oh, well, hey, Chris. Hi. We are here talking about our final selection for the worst of 2013. You know, as we discussed last week, there's just so many movies. You know, we had to, yeah.

It's four movies. I mean, this isn't the definitive worst. There's so many bad movies that came out. I mean, last year I thought was a really great year for movies. I had an actual hard time putting together a top 10 and a top 25. Yeah. But also, at the back end of that, there was just so much. garbage. As much good stuff as there was, there was like three times as much garbage. There's

always more garbage anyway, but it was a real like one to three ratio this year. And hey, that makes it fun for us. Yeah, you can't recycle it all. But I die hard got in there. Yeah, I really do have to say this one stood out. This one was the one for me that was just like, how do you fuck this up so royally? And of course, you know, to make it official, we are talking about a good day to hard directed by John Moore. It was also released in January, which is the movie Graveyard. It's super graveyard

time, man. January and kind of early February, and then, of course, August, just dog shit town. Like, if your movies get released then. Yeah, I Frankenstein. Oh, I just can't even wait. I can't even wait. I am tapping my toes here. But I was so excited that we picked this

movie because so many people online were like, oh, you got to do a good day to die hard, right? So I feel like today we're making a lot of people's wishes come true so you know hope you enjoy you're welcome this yeah yeah you're welcome so i mean we hope this is going to be the last of the diehards right we hope this we're putting the it better be it's what it damn well better be so but what's the next one die hard slow die hard in space well no i'm i i'm i'm a little pissed off about how with the last one in this one it's like we're playing off of a video oh yeah yeah that that the that the

Well, I think the next one's going to be die hard on the operating table. Yeah. Because, you know, John McClain's getting older. Body can't really keep up. Yeah. Goes in for routine surgery and then he's just done. See, but that's... I would love that to happen, but it won't because of what we learn in this movie, which is he is clearly some sort of...

Indestructible. ...syborg or a superhero. But he became a cyborg later on. Like, because in the initial... In the first diehard, you know, he breaks a plate of glass steps on it. He starts crying and sniveling around on the ground for like five hours. Yeah. And in this one, you know, in all these other ones, he's just like, I can walk through the wall.

I can throw the tank through the moon. I mean, it gets progressively, you know, more insane as the sequels build up. But this one, like at the start of the movie, the first action sequence, he gets in quite literally a life-ending car accident. Like, you're not stepping away from the car accident he gets in in the beginning of this movie. And he's driving some, like, farmer pickup truck, clearly not wearing a seatbelt. Wholesale slaughter. Oh, yeah. Of people.

Like, the amount of people, like, he runs over a bunch of, I mean, we'll get there. But there, he just runs over all these cars who have people in them, who are obviously crushed to death by the car. John McLean would say there weren't people in those cars. There were Russians in those cars. man oh man just stoking the fires of hate yeah it's totally like and that's the thing right like john mclean is a product of emperor reagan's times like that's the time a cold warrior he is which is why he this kind of action star is you know rendered irrelevant in 2013 like this this kind of action star we don't have this kind of character anymore no now we have jason starr that's like, I got to move this car from here to there. Or something actually good like Jason Bourne, where

actually, you know, these are good action movies where all the fighting is fantastic and there's like a lot of like jet set enemy. Yeah. And this is, I mean, to me, this movie is more for a born type of action star. Because to me, he's always,

I mean, John McLean is American. You have to keep him in America. John McLean should not leave the United States. States borders. Like that's... Like if he tries, they should stop him. It's like, no, no, no, no. You're going to try to get in some wacky adventure someplace else, and we can't have that. We have to contain this loose cannon. Yeah, all your crazy shit has to stay on our soil. Otherwise, like this movie, international incident. A gator-esque, like, jaunt down to the bayou, I'm fine with it. John McLean wants to go down there. That's fine. Die swamp. Sign me up. But it's funny. A German gets drowned in the swamp. it is funny that we were talking about robots and how he is one because he is kind of just inverted robocop because it's all like in it's all mechanical inside but his jaw is just fucking iron oh yeah i mean he

he is just and that's what they tried to get around in this movie too right like he is just the dude everything bounces off him he's a tough guy he's slinging one-liners he's a cowboy in this movie he's like telling the son how much he fucking loves him and all this horse shit like i'm trying to make up for lost time and bad blood this that and the other thing like give me a break dude like this is john yippy kyea motherfucker mclean and speaking on that the delivery of that in this movie is so lazy oh and and preceded by the things we do for our kids Yippie Kaya

motherfucker Oh my God Like I can still remember the first time I heard that line in the first movie And I was like Holy crap now that's a catchphrase And when I saw this in the theaters Which I totally did

Because I'm a diehard fan I was like oh no It's over That is the His Yippy Kaya line in this movie Is the death rattle of that character You know where that Yippie Kaya belongs that needs to be said when like Bruce Willis has it has like a slumber party with his kids and

there's like 25 kids around that he doesn't know and like they drag the dad out and be like things we do for our kids okay I'll say it everyone all right yippie cayet come on dad say the line yeah it's so shoehorned in like it wouldn't have made the movie any worse if you didn't say it you know it's that kind of and he doesn't even kill the villain himself in this movie like that's been we hate movies for this week well because

I mean speaking of his kids this is clearly a passing of the torch situation which I mean and I mean so it starts it's we're in Russia and right Jay Courtney as Jack McLean

Jack McClain he's on one of those is he in a sword and sandal program he used to be on Spartacus or something. Yeah, but I remember Jack Reacher. Well, yeah, but you know, guys, guys, it's coming up. You were tapping your toes about it. He's Ian I. Frankenstein. Oh, is he? Oh, is he really? Oh, no.

Oh, now I'm really more excited. Who's he play, the Wolfman? I don't know. I think he plays like Frank Dracula or something. Do you know Aaron Eckhart's name is Adam Dracula now? Shut the fuck up. Why isn't it fucking Frankenstein? What are you talking about

Adam Dracula? Oh, I'm sorry, Adam Frankenstein. Oh. So it would be Frank Dracula. Wait, my monsters mixed up. Adam Frankenstein. Dylan Mummy. Nice to meet you.

I'm Adam Frankenstein. Oh, yeah. Meet my friend over here, Wully Wolfman. Well, I think the name might actually, I don't know. How do you walk into a fucking job interview with that name?

You don't. That's why he slays demons for a living. It lives at the top of a fucking bell tower or something. He's Quasimotov. So we're in Russia. In this case, by the way, it's Budapest subbing for Moscow, which again, you know, we talk about this all the time. But, I mean, come on. If you can't film in Moscow and you've got to go to Budapest, like, your fucking international thrillers just as fine there.

Set it in goddamn Budapest. What does it matter? Moscow's over anyway. We all know it. Because we really want to give the kick to Putin, I guess. I guess so. Ugh, it's whatever. So we're in Moscow.

And this is a pretty long cold open. of like these two Russian guys One's the defense ministers Yeah one's the defense minister The other guy's this political prisoner Of course he's playing chess Because he's a Russian stereotype And that political prisoner character

Yuri Kurum Kurimov Right Kuratov I don't know Chris did you notice the actor who is playing this? It's the guy from Blackbook And the lives of others

Sebastian Koch Holy shit That is that guy I know. I found out, like, after, I watched this movie twice, and then I was reading up on it, and I was like, oh, my God. What? What happened? Man, Zwartbach, by the way, great movie. I love it. I mean, so is the lives of others. Speaking of a Robocop.

Yeah. Not this movie, though. So, so we're in Russia. This dude is, like, being sentenced. And it's, it's a whole big scene to set up the MacGuffin, right? Where is the file? Where is the file? Oh, my God. for the almighty file. The file that might have like evidence against the defense minister or something. Something, something. Who could

possibly care? That's what that's what the movie should be called. And by the way, this pisses me. So, okay, so that happens. And it's just like a little, give me the file, give me the file. And then it's cut with Jay Courtney doing a very, very shitty variation of

remember collateral when he goes to the Japanese club. Yeah. And he shoots the guy. It's that scene essentially. except for condensed into like 30 seconds. Jay Courtney goes into this club, like he goes in the back door, grabs a gun from the kitchen and assassinates this dude. It's his whole plan to get him arrested.

You know, we don't really know what's going on just yet. We're going to come to find out he learns. He works for the CIA. You know, but he assassinations this dude, blows his head off in this club, gets arrested.

And he's like, oh, get me in prison next to this other fella. And I'll make sure whatever goes down. And I mean, it's the worst opening to a die-hard film I've seen because die-hard with Avengers. It opens, you know, Hot Town, Summer in the City, and Kaboom. Oh, yeah. We're right the fuck into it.

The first die-hard, we're getting to know the character real quick, and then, whoops, terrorists are taking over a huge tower. And then the second die-hard, oh, my God, a layover. A layover. But then two planes crash into each other. It's just one of those things where the note I wrote was just get. the terrorist attack like get to the inciting incident and it is like 15 to 20 minutes into this movie before anything explodes and like it's it's this courtroom you know this guy is going to testify and whatever and there's j courtney next to him you're like oh something funny is going on

and then like here comes the armored car and i'm like all right finally like looking at my watch cross cutting this with mclean we get one shot of him in new york city He is, you know, out of firing range. A buddy cop comes in. He's like, hey, I found your boy because I guess you've been wasting my time searching for your son. Where's my boy? I've lost my boy. You've been, you know, whittling down the hours down here.

And this dude's just like, oh, it's not good, John. He's in Russia. Blah, blah, blah. It's not good, John. And he's like, oh, well, I thought it would be drug dealing or something. It's like, shut up. Just shut up. Or no, what's like, he's like, is he in, you?

jail or is he dead and the guy's like worse he's in russia and that's all we get of him actually depending upon which cut of the movie you saw if you saw the theatrical cut of this movie there's a scene where he goes to the airport and mary elizabeth winston yeah i saw that reprising her role as lucy mclean from the last movie because who could possibly care is like oh let me go with you to track down my brother no that's okay see you later if you have the director's cut of this movie They very smartly cut that scene out And extend a chase sequence Later out of the movie

That's like the difference there But guess what The first movie The family is involved in some way Because he's rescuing his wife Or is a estranged wife Is a strange wife You see there's a quick scene with the kids

When Thorneberg comes to the Richard Thorne whatever The second and third movie There's like nothing Just think she's on the phone she's well remember the second movie she's trapped on the plane oh yeah and they're running out of gas and she's on like the the sky phone with him at some points during the movie uh the third one you hear i don't i don't think it was bonnie bedelia but you hear a woman's voice on a payphone

like john you ass all and to me the third one is other than the first one obviously the best but third one is the second best to me always will i agree with yeah i'm down with that that one. And as soon as that happens, you're done with the family. If you've made one movie where the family doesn't matter anymore, you're kind of done with the family. So now you can start, if you want to have like a romantic interest, I don't really give a shit. Exactly. No, but now he's, he's so old that it's like he has to look, oh, like, where is my legacy? Where's my sperm forwarding society? I need to track down my kids. Well, there is that really eerie scene in the fourth one where he's stalking his fucking.

little girl. Oh yeah. He's like going to her apartment. Just like hanging out while she's making out with her boyfriend. Like, ew. I'm going to make sure this guy's right for you and all this fucking horse shit. Steely John McLean, who killed fucking what? 300

people easily in his life? Yeah. He cares about some guys kissing his daughter. Give me a fucking break. Well, you know, he's a concerned father. Protective. Yeah. He is. The world's protector. You think, you know, how protective he is of America.

Give America curves. Put it under his roof. He's going to be protective. Yeah. Curvy America. So speaking to how much he loves his kids, he loves his kids so much that he's going to travel to Moscow to try to track down his kid

even though he has no idea what he's actually doing there. So we get John McLean in a taxi cab. There's hilarious banter with a cab driver who loves the thing Sinatra. Yeah. Don't worry. We get to hear New York, New York. but we're in Moscow. Now, here's the thing about, you know,

traditional sort of diehard tropes, right? So, like, in the world of diehard, a character that he kind of encounters earlier on in the film always sort of comes back to help him in some way. Like the second one, that fat guy, that cop who's giving him shit about parking the car, turns out to kind of help him at the end of the movie a little. Well, the little driver.

the whole thing I was thinking about this whole scene was the limo driver limo driver from the first movie I mean I guess technically Samuel Jackson through all of the third one but like in this movie I was like okay so this taxi driver is going to come back in some way and help him out

right because that's how diehardt oh what oh you're never going to see him again oh okay I guess we'll just completely forget about the way these movies are made I mean it sets up something those characters like are like like, sort of comedic, and that taxi driver was set up that way as well. Yes.

And then this movie, you just don't have any comedic character like that. Oh, no. After this part, which is supposed to be funny, it's not, there's not a single lap to be had. There's Bruce Willis trying to read from an English to Russian dictionary, and he's, like, phonetically trying to read Russian words. Yeah. And it is hilarious. And the guy's like, oh, you actually told me you would like to eat some hair. And I'm like, oh.

Do you want sex? I get you sex. Oh, man, her in sex. This is a fun movie. Man, what a, what a, what a, what a, what a zany miscommunication he's having with this cab driver. So 20 minutes into this movie, we finally get to the terrorist attack. So this, this courtroom blows sky high. And, you know, of course, John McLean's standing right out in front of it. He spots the boy.

And it's like, oh, hey, John, come over here. What, what the fuck are you doing in Moscow? I've got no idea what I'm even doing here. I've got no business talking to you. And, you know, he assumes, like, his son's a criminal of some kind. And he's like, well, why don't you stop and talk to you dead for two seconds? Meanwhile, this kid, Jay Courtney, is trying to, like, get this political prisoner out of the prison. And, like, clearly he's trying to do something with this guy.

He's a CIA operative. He's not stopping to talk to his father. It's not happening. Just punch him in the face and keep going. You know, he's a father, so you put him in a trunk somewhere. but like you get him out of there this you have as we find out a minute from this he is on a timeline or chris you maybe respect your elders and maybe when your father tells you something you listen yeah even in moscow yeah you clean the shit out of your ears you got to listen to daddy

yeah because i guess that fucking matters in a die hard movie there is an amazing scene like there's a moment right here in this scene where j courtney's like fuck this and he pulls a gun and points it in his face and Bruce Wilson is like what are you going to shoot your own fucking father and I was like please do it I will gladly watch you like if this was like that last what the heck

was it Halloween resurrection the last one before the Rob Zombie reboot where Jamie Lee Curtis is at the beginning of the movie and they kill her like Michael Myers kills her and you're like oh well I guess that's over with

like that's what I was wanting in this movie. I'm like, listen, if you just shoot him in the face right now and you Jay Courtney take over the diehard mantle, like, I'm fine with it. I'm totally fine with that. I mean, it'd be hard to redeem him after he shoots his father in the face. I guess so. Well, you could

just make bad diehard then, like the evil diehard. Like now you got like John McLean Jr., which is his name and he's, you know, looks similar right? They shave his head down. Yeah. And now he's going to be thrown off a tower later or something. You know? Yes. Like he's just the

bad guy now. Why not? He's your Hans Grubber. I'm up for that. He could chew the scenery because, you know, that the whole archetype that is John McLean would more or less be viewed as a villain today or at least be put on probation, you know? Or look, you don't want to make him a villain. Have him get hit by a bus. You know, like, oh, here comes the terrorist van. Yeah. Squash. I mean, just traffic in those countries. Oh, people drive like maniacs in Moscow. Yeah. So, yeah. Well, I mean, this, I mean, it speaks to, I mean, Bruce Willis and I mean, the whole time he's like, The best things in a life are free to do to the birds and peas I won't. Like, that's just, it's so clear. He's doing nothing but looking at his paycheck in this movie. It's really embarrassing. I mean, honestly, I can't think of the last time Bruce Willis tried in anything. Moonerized Kingdom.

Yes, okay. Very fair. Fair assessment. Fair Point. That's his best movie in ages. It is. Maybe one of his, I think it might be his best movie

that he's in. I mean, it's just like, there was a time when you saw Bruce Willis brandish a fucking automatic rifle and you were like, well,

I'm in for some fun. There's $9. You just have my $9. I never thought I would get to a point where watching someone fire a machine gun was boring. Oh yeah. But this movie makes it possible.

This movie totally makes it possible because he's sitting there firing at nobody terrorist. and, like, yawning the whole time. Yeah. I want to talk about the villains in this movie because this is another gigando problem with this movie. Die Hard is known for snappy villains

and not just snappy main villains, but, like, you know some of the terrorists in the other movies, like all the thugs and everything. You get the sub-tier even, yeah. Yeah, you remember what they look like. They either had, like, a distinctive hairstyle. They were mini-bosses. Yeah, exactly.

Like, in this movie, it's all just vague, generic, blurred together. It's like, you know, there's nothing to shooting like 50 guys and ski masks, you know, but if they have a face and a personality and maybe add something to the story

in some way, maybe they each have a particular thing they do. Like one guy, maybe he's the computer guy. Oh, wait, I'm talking about die hard now. Well, no, because they're all... You're talking about a good movie.

Yeah. They're all witty. Like, there's, there's, you know, God, I mean, Jeremy Irons it fucking diehard with a vengeance. That's a performance of a lifetime. He just hits every note and he knows exactly what he's doing. The whole movie

and even, I mean, I mean, obviously Hans Gruber is there's never going to be a better, you know, action movie. No, Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman knocks out of the park. And fuck, even William Sadler and goddamn Diehardt too is really fucking good. He's great. He's jerking off in that movie. Maybe. I don't know. That's my dream

for that character. Oh, no, he's jerking Oh, and John Amos. John Amos is the crooked... Oh, is the general. He's great in that movie, too. He, John Amos is shit where he hates Dennis Franz fat guts in that movie. It's some of the best parts of Die Hard do. And I don't want to leave it out.

It's like, again, it's a 21st century diehard, but Timothy Oliphant and Live Free or Die Hard is a good villain. Pretty strong villain, yeah. There's no, like, we have a top tier villain who's big, uh, like quirk is eating a carrot like Roger Rabbit because that's hilarious. One scene. Yeah. One single scene.

He eats a carrot. Just totally left on the floor for every other scene. Which movie is this? This is this one. Oh, okay. Yeah. Sorry. The one with the most forgettable one.

Yeah, the one with the anonymous villains. Like the one that sticks out is the one in the black suit who's eating a bright orange carrot. Like that's how you know you're supposed to be like, oh, that guy's the lead villain. Because he's munching a carrot like a weirdo. eating a whole carrot and I mean the female agent because she has breasts obviously

yeah that's where the eye goes after the carrot you see something phallic you see the curves it all goes together Eric so there's a whole big chase scene millions of people are dead who cares they have to get like what happens

is McLean John Bruce Willis the elder McLean totally gets his CIA son burned like the whole thing is on a timetable. And it's because of the stopping him in the street being like, what are you doing in Moscow? Don't point a gun at your father. Like, Bruce Willis

screws up the timetable and the CIA, like we cut to an episode of Homeland and there's fucking Saul standing with his arm crossed. Like, we're just going to have to, we're just going to have to break contact. This isn't going to happen. Shut it down. We're shutting it down, everybody. And then Tracy Letts is in the background,

rubbing his fucking sweaty hands together. Spits in his fucking eye. Man, he plays a pain in the air. the whole season for that just for saw the spit in his eye just once oh god if only all i wanted so you know the the the CIA black site wherever is like all right shut it down like the windows closed can't do anything about it and like they go to a safe house like he's dragging the dude from Zwartbach with him that guy shot you know and the whole time it's just Bruce Willis like nagging him like what are you doing aren't you going to stop and tell me what we're doing where

you going? What's going? And he's just like, you know what? Do the movie of favor and don't come with me. You know, it's like, I'd rather watch like a J. Courtney born ultimatum type movie. We were talking a little bit about how like all the, before we recorded, I think about how all these diehard movies are based on other properties originally. Yes. But like, this sounds like it was written for Jim Belushi, not John McKay. What are you doing? Oh, hey, come on. You're not going to tell me what your big operation is. Bolsheviks? Oh man, I'm back in Russia.

Great. Yeah, that's interesting you bring that up. We'll say that on the air. This is the first diehard movie where the draft was a totally, like the script was drafted as a totally original diehard concept. The first movie is,

it was supposed to be Commando 2, the second movie's based on a book, the third movie's based on a previous screenplay, and so is the fourth movie. The fourth movie, which was hilariously titled W.W3.com and was about to be made into a movie and then got shelves because of 9-11.

I'm sure it would have been great otherware? No. Yeah, you know, dot com and your movie title always works. I'm looking at youfear.com. Oh, yeah. Possible. Stay tuned. Well, people love dot coms. I guess. They can be places of joy

and terror, which is what makes I guess for appealing. And the Third World War, apparently. Well, that's the whole thing, right? The Third World War is going to be fought on the net. Yeah, I've heard about World of Warcraft. So they get to this safe house. I did want to, I mean, I'm sorry to interrupt you.

Yeah, no, that's fine. The problem with, and I give the live free or die hard a pass because it is enjoyable for the most part. I mean, I'm not behind it, but you know. It's not. It's better than this. Oh, yeah. By a yard. And I mean, and watching this

definitely makes you, you know, appreciate a little bit of what like Len Wise was lending there. Yeah. But the problem with these two movies, and they actually, they talk about it at the end of this movie because he has a line.

John McLean has a line. Well, no, Jack McLean has the line. Jay Courtney asks him, he's like, do you know if this happens to you or if you get into these situations? And I'm like, well, the good thing about the first three was that he didn't get into the situation. He was a victim of circumstance.

Right. And that was what was so good about because he's, you know, the beleaguered stuff makes sense then. he's like what the fuck i just want to fucking get home yeah all all i was doing was going to my wife's christmas party all i was doing was trying to pick my wife up at the airport then a third time this dude called me while i was hung over these two 21st century dieharts we'll call them the diehard 2.0 right the diehard v2s v2 rock the diehard dot coms yeah it's all fucking

called action bullshit the diehard dot com's yeah it's him being like oh there's something happening and I'm going to get involved. I'm going to get my hands dirty. It's like, you know what? Thanks, but no thanks. Like, we got it, Bruce Will. You know what I mean? Like, we got it, John McLean.

It's like, you know, the first two, three were like, it's just like a man being a man and sometimes trouble finds you and you're a man. You take care of it. And then the other ones are like, I'm an old man. I got to show people that I'm a big man. I'm getting involved. Exactly. And the family stuff ties right into that.

like the fact that he's now with his family in the fourth one and the fifth one. Yeah. And what was so great was the fact that the villains like kind of overtook him in those movies and that it was chaos everywhere. This one, I mean, you just, you know he's beaten everything.

And with the family stuff, I mean, it is possible to write a diehard movie. I think it might be possible to write a diehard movie where the family's involved and it's not garbage. Like maybe like he's trying to stay away from everything like we've

established and like he's just with his kids at some New England sleepy town and like shit goes down maybe a kid gets kidnapped or something and then you know there's a call to action right well you know it's kind of a stereotypical trope but it's an action movies who cares

they're on vacation you know they go to some place some beach resort and some Cuban terrorist you know they go to vacation of Miami drug lords something something happened Or like he gets, he's now working at the hardware store and he gets held up. See, oh man, that's what you want in a diehard sequel.

Like, because of all the shit that happened to him in the first three movies, he's like such a wanted guy that he has to go into a form of witness protection. Right. And then Ed Harris shows up. It says, Johnny, where you've been? Totally. And he fucking breaks a coffee urn over somebody's face. Yeah, I'd want that. So, so he's, Jay Courtney's burned.

they have to get to this black site, which is run by what's his name, Cole Houser. Cole Houser's like in this apartment. By the way, when I read that today, I was like looking at IMDB, I was like, Cole Houser. I'm like going through his credits for a little while. I'm like, I was thinking of

Wingshouser. I got excited for nothing. Yeah, you got excited for nothing. You got excited for Cole Houser. Who's like John McLean Jr.' Handler? Yeah, like CIA handler or whatever. And they're trying to orchestrate, like, getting them out of the country.

And Bruce Willis is just, like, so disrespectful of his son's profession. He's like, oh, you're into a bunch of spy shit, spy shit. Oh, you little CIA buddies. It's like, dude, your son's got a great job. Dude, we were just talking about it. He's a Jewish grandmother. The whole movie, he's just like, oh, you're with the CIA? That's really impressive.

No, Donnie Mordenstein, he has his own practice, and he has a dental practice out in Long Island. Man, there is a scene where he's talking about, like, what other people from their neighborhoods do. It's like, take it out of vacation. Shut the fuck up. It's like, you know, Bruce Willis, yeah, your son didn't follow in your footsteps and become, like, some NYPD officer. Right. But, like, they're bigger footsteps, though, in a way, right? He's got a great career.

Like, he's making serious money. he's presumably protecting the world you know something something national security gets mentioned in this movie he's like murdering people in mass but the government condones it so bruce willis is like taken back by that like no you got to you just got to be a cop with zero jurisdiction anywhere you go it's got to be wholesale slaughter every time it's got to be wholesale slaughter and i'm not saying they have jurisdiction in russia but you know the u.s government is okay with it well no It's like, oh, what? Your mass killings are sanctioned by the government. Lame. Look at my lame pussy son doing work for the government. You think anyone ever asked,

everyone ever told me to kill anyone? Nope. I just killed anyone I wanted. I picked myself up by the bootstraps and just started killing people. Half the time, I killed people the police specifically asked me not to. Because that's what being a man is. I have a jar in my closet to fill with the tears of all the mothers of the people I murdered. What do you have?

college degree fuck you i love this ear necklace dad sorry sorry it's so awesome because not only does he bust his balls for working for the cia he then has no idea how the cia functions because jay courtney's like well you got me burned so this whole mission's off and we just got to get out of here and then like shit goes down colehauser gets killed so we don't even have to worry about him being in this movie anymore you know and then they're they're on the run again you know and now he's like john mclean junior's like a man without a country totally you know disavowed by the u.s. government and john mclean senior is like well can't you just call your pals at langley look what's the fucking problem what are we waiting around for and he's like you don't understand how

this works they officially don't care if i live or die that also includes you now and he's like yeah but you know Langley black hats you know the suits yeah can one of your spooks help you

I have no idea what I'm talking about don't you the suits the suits I'm always yelling that and tell them that they're bad

at their job damn can't you get them here isn't there a red phone around here somewhere to President Eisenhower can't you just

push a red button isn't there Batman comes out phone booth around the corner yeah it'll just go right down Superman might be changing in there

can go get smart that's how government works. This show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, my 20s, while being a lot of fun, a lot of the time, were pretty rough. I wasn't exactly rolling a dough. I lived at home until I was about 25, and for most of it, I didn't have this show or you lovely people in my life.

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So this movie decides to pull a ridiculously annoying thing, which is a... Resurrecting the diehard franchise. Yeah, that's its first magic trick. Its second one is trying to pull, I guess, what we'll call a double MacGuffin. Because the whole thing is like, this political prisoner has a file, right? The dude's like, Giddiapka, where is this fucking file? And he's like, oh, well, all right, I'll take you to the file. But first, you have to take me to this hotel where I've left a key that gives me access to the file.

So we have to traips all through Moscow to get to this hotel so he can get the first of two McGuffins. Pick up this friggin key and then go out on your quest. Yeah, what am I playing missed? Go into the library. Take out your map. Look at where the key is and then look, you know, where the file is. This dude is like, you know, all right, I'll leave the country with you, but I have to get in touch with my daughter first. I'm not leaving Moscow. I'm not leaving Russia without my daughter. So they're like, all right, we'll call her. Have her meet us at this hotel where we've got to pick up this key because it's so exciting. And this is after like this super long, like 15 minute car chase where you couldn't possibly care about it. It's almost like a getaway level car chase where we're just constantly. constantly slamming into cars cars are impossibly crashing everywhere it's goes on forever and yeah

it's just it's useless like there was you know another diehard movie would there'd be a sense of you know like space kinetic like yeah you want some sense of through line and and it does go to the fact that and i give len wiseman a lot of fucking credit for that fourth one because the action moved and you got a clear sense of it and that's what he's good at but is making action scenes good. Well, we have to lay some blame somewhere. And Len Wiseman, I believe, is the man who refurbished him into a cyborg.

A cybernetic being. A learning computer. Because he's just walking over. He's like, oh, there's a F-16 falling into me. All right, well, I'll just roll off it, whatever. Catch. I am robot. Yeah, that's in that movie

where I was like, okay, we're getting a little silly here. But still, it's, it's a, it's a, the die hard movies, they thrive on their silliness. There has to be a little bit of a silliness to all of them. But you're not fucking Superman, dude?

No, of course not. But like, I forgive that more than I forgive something like this, which has zero, like we call it silly, but it doesn't think it, the movie itself doesn't think it's silly. No,

it thinks it's being totally awesome. Bad ass. It's a fucking erect cock for the entire movie. I got some movie evidence here. Now, you got to look at Bruce Willis's wife. at the end of die hard with a vengeance

and it's just covered in sweat stained soot blood everywhere yeah and look at his clothes in four and five tailored it looked like they were just pressed yeah he's got some like awesome diesel jeans on like in both of these movies

he's wearing like a cool jacket at the end of this movie like yeah he's got a little like dirt on him and whatnot dust a little bit of a sniffle afterwards it's fine yeah there's a little bit of blood. There's one part in this movie where he pulls a shard of glass out of his leg. And then it heals like Wolverine. If you think back to Die Hard

with a vengeance, there's the scene where him and Sam Jackson slide down the cable to get under the boat. And there's the scene where he, using his teeth, pulls the metal like cable shard out of his arm to pick the lock. And he makes a big deal about doing it and he's like you know and it hurts him in this movie he's like oh hey son how you doing after we just made that huge

jump you pussy what are you bleeding or something and he pulls the glass shard out of his leg and it's just like I don't even think he limps in this movie frankly there's very little limping and honestly that's what made diehard movies great is that it had like the weight of the real world around its legs like

people can die and it's presented in a realistic way. Hell, they get all those children into a high school assembly believably. They could never

have pulled that off in four and five, I feel like, there's nothing that feels honest about a minute of it. Because they're not banging him around.

I mean, that's the bigger thing. Is that in the first... He's banging Russia around. He walks around. Thousands of people die. Cars roll over. It's all fucking loud.

Some machine guns that go on for fucking ever and there's this scene. It's like, And I know I just talked about the silliness thing, but, like, in the scene where Cole Houser gets it in the head, there's, like, a couple of, like, bad guy troops come in, and, like, Bruce Willis is killing them with a machine gun. Yeah. And they keep on going in front of the machine gun. Oh, yeah.

And they don't stop like any normal bad guy would be like, oh, look, five people just died. Maybe I shouldn't do the exact same fucking thing that they just did. They pile into the room like N-64 golden-eye villains that you just keep shooting as they come through. And all those other movies, probably the fourth included, no villains would do that. No. There would be something about it. They'll be around the corner, add a little suspense to the scene. How's you going to get out of this one?

Yippity-y-dap-di-da. And also, speaking to, again, just like doing the villains wrong in these movies, he had, because there's no clear-cut villain, really, there's no opportunity for John McLean or the other McLean to have any contact like in the other movies there's always a rapport with the villains every single time over a radio on the phone what he harasses he teases them oh but his son has that role in this one he's just he's just yelling at his son

yeah yeah he's just nagging his kid I do think he is the villain of this movie I'm almost because I mean John McCain Jr. No, John McLean. Right. I think he's kind of the villain of this movie. I think I just said McCain. You did. I was like, I don't let it go.

If he does it again, he's out. Oh, God. It's John McDracula next time. But really, like, he's the one, I mean, he's got the rapport with him, and like, he hates his fucking guts for most of this movie. If you looked at a Russian news report from the day that all this shit was going down, it would be like, uh, this just in. An insane American terrorist is wandering the streets of Moscow, driving over all of our citizens, assaulting people, murdering people, all the shit's going on. And then John McLean Jr. gets the orders as a CIA agent close to him that he's going to have to kill him. Yeah. Put this guy down, dude. He's really giving us a black eye here.

Zero dark 30 time. Just fucking take him out. You'd have to. and just do it. And it's ridiculous. Like the amount, like the level of assholery that he reaches in this movie, it's got to be because he's not in America. Like, he conducts himself in such a piggish American way. Like there's the scene where he is trying to stop a car, like doing the whole like, I'm a police officer. I have to commandeer this vehicle in the middle of a highway in Moscow. And this dude hits him with the car. And then the dude gets out to be like, what? the fuck are you doing in the middle of the road and Bruce Willis is like, oh, oh, what's that? You don't speak English? And punches him in the face and steals his car. Yeah, he's like, oh, you expect me to know

what you're saying there? Yeah, well, yeah, you're in my country. You are the one who's in a different country. You are the foreigner. No, no. You know what? I'm just always American and everything around me becomes foreign automatically. I can't. Wherever I am.

Why are you putting him in this situation? You skip Woods. the fucking writer of this movie. Yeah. You keep him in America so he doesn't have to deal with this bullshit. So instead of assaulting this random

Maskalvillian, he could have just like beaten up an immigrant cab driver or something. Much better. You know, like, perfect. And then you'd be true to the, true to the spirit of the series. Like asshole roots. Yeah.

There is a stunt in this scene that I feel I need to discuss because it inspired me to write a line that's kind of become pretty popular on this show. So they're in this ballroom, you know, the guy's daughter turns out to be a traitor, kidnaps the political prisoner, her father, and then this carrot muncheon motherfucker escapes, and there's this huge shootout. Up comes this huge, you know, armored helicopter and starts firing into this hotel. And these two guys jump out of this window in this sky.

I-rise hotel and plummet to the ground, stopping every so often to like, you know, they land on a painting platform. They fall through that. They land through like a refuse tube and slide through it. Like slide on a marquee, like, my ass movie. My ass movie, do you fall all this way? And then Bruce Willis, a pushing 70-year-old man stands up like, dust myself off. Like, okay. Hey, how's my pussy son doing?

Oh, would you hurt yourself? Did that fall off the huge building hurt you? Did you cut your face? It's right after that jump is when he pulls the glass out of his leg. Like, it ain't no thing. It's, like, it's so my ass movie. Like, why John McLean in the first movie would never do something that insane? Like, yeah, he ties a fire hose around his waist and jumps off the roof of the building or whatever.

But, like, he's tethered to something. It's a last ditch thing that makes sense. This is like, I'm just going to jump. jump off of a skyscraper and live to tell about it. And also this movie is full of what we'll call them little twists. Like there's just

these little tiny twists that are supposed to be a big fucking deal and nobody cares. In the third one they did this well because it was actually part of the plot like here oh you think it's the schools. You think oh, he's going to blow up a bunch of schools. He's not doing that. He's doing this thing. Right.

That's good. This thing because of the twists, there is no tension with the villain. I blame the twists completely on why we don't have a good villain because, spoiler alert, it turns out that Yuri is the villain. Yeah, the political prisoner turns out to be the actual villain. And it would have been so much better if you would just built up. And he's a capable actor, obviously. The motherfucker worked with Berhoven. So I don't understand why you don't just let that play out. Why do I need the other fucking defense minister who is a nothing character? That dude who, like, yeah.

Yeah, the movie starts and you're like, oh, okay, so this defense minister might be this villain. All right, that's fine. He's, like, clearly harassing this political prisoner, you know, like, this is going to be the guy, like, high up in government that's actually crooked. No, that guy's a total afterthought who gets his neck broken while getting a massage in a throwaway scene. Like, the definition of a throwaway scene is, like, Yuri, you know, the dude from Zwartbach calls him up and he's like, hey, man, how's it going? And he's like, oh, pretty good, just about to get a massage. What are you up to? Oh, nothing, just this terrorist attack.

By the way, I thought I called to let you know, uh, fuck you. And then, like, the, the huge fat masseuse dude strangles this guy. Borgot, got some right by the neck. I'm just watching that scene. I'm like, man, the timing of that phone call that he knew to call right before this masseuse strangled him, like, pretty lucky. I was thinking about this twist. It's like, what were they, they were like, you know, they sent out the rough draft

and stuff, people like, hmm, political prisoner in Russia. We want this movie to play in Russia. Make the political prisoner the village. Yeah, exactly. Pussy riot's a bad guy now. That would be great, actually. He has to fight a band at the end of it.

Yeah. He has to go to a labor, like there's a labor camp in Russia, hard labor camp that is revolting, and they have to call in the best in the world, John McLean. And he walks into this. hard labor camp and like all these you know withered people from doing hard labor of like

their rakes and shovels and stuff and he has to just like kick him in their in their throats and shoot everyone got to quell the dissent that's what you've got to do so there now we all agree so you know this dude eury gets kidnapped by his daughter you know as we've already mentioned it's a fake kidnapping but he's out of the picture like they they all get away in the helicopter and these two morons jump off a building. So Jay Courtney is like, all right, well, I am totally bleeding right now. The guy got kidnapped. I've been burned by my own government.

We should probably just get out of here. And then Bruce Willis starts taunting his son and essentially bullies him into going on a suicide mission. That is what the rest of this movie is. So stupid. I mean, you should have brought up to his son that now would be a good thing. time to become a robot like he did. If you're hurting so much from a little fall off a building

and a fall through 50 glass plate windows. Listen, I know that you want to get these bad guys, but first we have to get your adamantium skeleton put in. Once we do that, then we can go back out and fight the bad guys so long as you're home in time for dinner.

I mean, Sabretooth is going to have to kill your fiance and there's going to be a whole thing here, but like, eventually we can get... That's just the price of doing business. I mean, really. That's all. That's all it is, man. Come on with a next. Let's do it. But he's just like, he's like, oh, you're going to let the bad guys go away? Oh, you want to go home? You want to be a mall cop in New Jersey. Yeah. Oh, you think that'll be a great love.

Yeah. By the way, that's a real pile of horseshit is he is just still on the NYPD. Don't think so. Mandatory retirement at 65. Get the fuck out of here with that. Do you notice in the, uh, the background? When we introduce, you know, McLean at the NYPD, he's at a firing range. Yeah. And at first, actually, you know, you're seeing like this withered bald frame. And I'm like, James Carville's in this movie? It's been a captain. It's going to be a good scene. It turned out to be Bruce Willis.

But then I thought it was also weird that, like, Obama's portrait was framed in the background, like, really heavily. Yeah. It's just another American. man. I would just love it. He just takes gum out of his mouth. He just takes gum out of his mouth. He just sticks it on the porch.

Oh, yeah. Fuck it. Oh, buddies will go to Russia. Well, it's over. Well, the thing you're going to want to remember here about being under NYPD, Mr. McLean, is you're going to have to do a couple things my way. See, the first thing is not putting goreem on the president's head there. That's a big disrespectful thing there you're going to do to our president.

You might not agree with his politics, but I am your superior officer. Carville just walks out. God, it would be a great movie. It would be just as amazing as any other James Carville cameo. You respect the man that turned you into a robot. Me and Mary went to Moscow once. It was just a fun time. It was just a fun time, I got to tell you.

People tell you you're not going to have a good time in Moscow. That's just crazy horse hockey talk. I had a bunch of beet soup. They call it, borsh. I just call it a good time. James Carville would have made this movie a thousand times better. Without a doubt. As John McLean's brother, like, what, Sass McLean?

I'm his older brother, Sass. He's fantastic. Like, it's the older brother that made sergeant before him, and now he's finally, he's like the captain, even though he... Yeah, yeah, meet my shitty older brother from Louisiana. sass mclean oh pleasure to meet you there jay cordney i never got to meet my nephew uh my name is john mclean junior oh apologies you look like a fellow actually one of them sawd and sando pictures went to college my brother said college for jagoff so this whole thing is like

uh it's the whole showdown comes in the form of a road trip to churn Because, because it's like, it's like, hey, John McLean, you're a product of the 80s. You were a cop in 1986. You remember the Chernobyl meltdown? Get it. Yeah. It's like, yeah, okay, fine. And then, because this is a movie coming out in 2013 and we don't teach, we don't teach world

history in this country anymore, there has to be a scene in this movie where the son is explaining to the father what the Chernobyl instance. and like what happened and he's just like he's like yeah yeah the meltdown happened and then the next day they had a children's parade to show that nothing went wrong and then the day after that 50,000 people had to evacuate and you know what they never came back and like Bruce Wilson is just sitting there like I don't remember any of that so it's a real hot spot huh all right yeah there's totally a thing where he's like eh not going to get ball cancer am I and shut just shot you did would it matter you already got children that hate you fucking immortal who cares yeah that's

true it's just your your your your balls would fall off but you're fucking um your you're you know skeleton your metal skeleton would be fine the flesh covering over your cybernetic body may melt off but you can get another one they're he does make a bullshit joke because because bruce willis is like uh we're gonna get cancer or like whatever and and jay courtney's like well your hair already fell out so you know I'm like oh he's bald which by the way though I kind of think like the running theory here is that he has to have the Bruce Willis I'm a bald guy but I don't care haircut that he has in those first three where it's like the Uber receding hair line and the bald spot but he still has hair as opposed to these these most

recent two where he's cue balling that fourth movie he's super clean like Mr. clean cue ball and this one there's like a little bit of like 10 o'clock shadow going on but it's still the same premises like he doesn't leave anything up top i feel like when john mclean takes off that up top leftover shit he becomes a completely different character yeah like those are the two john mcclains oh wow it like activates like all the the robot stuff yeah it makes all that shit like you shave off your your widow's peak well it's the same thing as those fucking expendables movies where it's just like you can be old and still kick ass no you can't sit the fuck down go home watch a movie drink your prune juice and shut the fuck up i'm done with it

like really it pisses me off because you we could have had a you could have just redone the die hard series you know and had a funny guy who can also do action well you can't you can't remake die hard right everyone who throw a fit no they wouldn't they They would be fine with it. Any time. If you just do it, just do it. Well, I would say the closest thing we've come to that so far, when you think about that wave of, like, 80s action franchises,

is kind of the Terminator. Like, we've had other Terminators, right? Like, granted Arnold's been in all of the movies in some capacity, technically, even that fourth one. But, like, the third one with, like, the Terminatorics. Oh, my God. That's not even. but you know that's gone on there hasn't been anyone else who's played rambo yet you know and just no one else has played john mclean yet but i don't think it would be impossible for someone to be like all right we're just going to reboot it and there's going to be another guy it has to be it can't be a dude who's like too good looking he's got to be a total blue collar like slubbish guy like i don't i can't think of casting but it's got to be someone who's in like his late 30s it can't be a super young guy like

Like, that's the thing, right? Like, Jay Courtney isn't technically old enough to take over this diehard franchise, even though that's what this movie is, is trying to be this torch passage. He's not right for it, but like a Colin Farrell type. Yeah. A guy who has a comedic side to him, but can also do the fucking push. I mean, the Total Recall movie is fucking horrendous. Oh, yeah.

But that's the type of guy you want for this kind of character. Instead of this shit where it's just all like, yeah, you're never too old. Yes, you are. Yeah, you are always too old for something. You know what? I just actually, when you guys were talking, I thought I put a realistic pitch for the expendables. Okay.

Okay. Now, you have all, you say those, you know. They fight osteoporosis. Right. But you say, you know, they can't do action anymore. So you have all these aging murderers from all parts of the globe. So you got like, Stallone becomes president. Lundgren becomes president of wherever he's from.

You got, you got Van Dam taken Belgium. You got gently, take a shot, you know. And now they're like, you, now they're like global murderers, right? And they're like forcing armies to do their fun. Dude, oh, how about this? It's an action movie where all the major players work for the U.N. Yes. And it's called Global Summit is the name of the movie.

And they just throw down, right? And it's like we're all going to, we're all going to bully one country into, uh, dissolving, right? So like, let's say who Jason Statham, right? Yeah. Is like the prime minister of England. And it's like, we're going to, we're going to bully up on Statham. He's the villain in this movie. And then we'll get, we'll get the United Kingdom to dissolve. All the countries of the world come in. One comes out. It's, uh, expendables meets in the loop.

Yeah, exactly. Clearly the winner is Jet Lee in China, by the way, right? I don't think there's much disputing that. Some cutthroat stuff going on. So the whole thing is they're going to Chernobyl because at some point before the meltdown, this dude Yuri locked this vault that has a bunch of enriched uranium, like weapons-grade uranium.

Man, that is laying all over the place. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Out there, that's everything's about. Yeah. Everywhere you look. It's not like anybody's looked over Chernobyl. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, what's this safe? Oh, fuck it. there would have been tons of treasure hunters that would have come down there by then right looking for what was left behind oh absolutely yeah that stuff's totally happy people have been over is what Chernobyl is

Josie and Mack have been there by now no one's moved back there like that it's still an abandoned city but people have been in there studying it and whatnot Matthew Broderick was there in Godzilla's studying the worms remember Chernobyl worms it would

be great if there was a national treasure where fucking Nicholas Cage had to go to fucking Chernobyl. I have to take the Declaration of Independence to Chernobyl. I don't know why. He just gets off the place that's coughing blood vomiting over it all

teeth are falling out. Justin Barth is vomiting everywhere. What is this movie? What are these movies about again? All right. You know these movies where he takes the declaration of Independence somewhere. Chinanigans is what I filed National Treasure Under.

We got to read it at the same time with the Magna Carta at the precise moment. While Orion is in loop. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. Get the planets and stars involved. Absolutely. Because that's when Paul Revere did it.

Like, it was all in line. Yeah, dude. Saturn was in retrograde. Oh, no. That was Texas Chainslaw Massacre. When Benjamin Franklin got syphilis, it was in retrograde. It was late for an eclipse Not make people know that

Yeah So you know The exciting conclusion of this movie Is the two of them Steal a car full of guns And drive to Chernobyl Oh yeah Which they steal from criminals

Yeah they go to There's like a Chechen nightclub And they're just like jacking open the trunks Like oh oh there's only two guns in this trunk Oh there's two bodies in this trunk Oh, there's a whole, like, weapons stockpile. This is the car we want. I mean, so you got you, you have, instead of meeting Chechen terrorists, we meet their automobiles.

Yeah, you know, no confrontation there. That might have been a little more interesting. Maybe John McLean's in Moscow and, you know, he's meeting his boy, getting his boy out of prison for doing petty crime. And then the Chechens take over. The big question, since we're in Russia, where is Ray Serbegia? where is he just the bad guy from the saint um excuse me and in um the what the bad guy from the saint the saint with i know i'm just joke it's not a it's not a popular movie anymore in snatch he's the russian guy who won't die yes yeah he's in all these movies as this fucking guy this

fucking guy this russian terrorist guy yeah where is he yeah this was his time to shine like he's guy he's the guy who's going to have all the witty quips with mclean over the radio right like he's that guy he also kind of looks like uh the dosake's most interesting man in the world guy but with a beard but you're right yeah that guy's been training his whole life to be a diehard villain yeah and just it doesn't happen no fuck it uri and you don't even i mean the guy who plays yury like we've mentioned is a great actor they don't let him do anything he's not hammy though that's and i mean you need a little bit you gotta twirl the mustache

in a diehard movie need some ham needs some swiss you need the whole thing somebody had fun oh my god where is the oh somebody had fun like holy shit is that just the greatest some william sadler naked aerobics like that's all I need

talking about a fat lady on the phone you could simply say there was a fat woman on it took you a minute to get her off uh is the samaritan Jeremy Irons is great in the movie. Speaking of that, this scene, and we'll talk about the big one. The big ones come.

Yeah, the biggest pile of horse shit. But there are quite, along with the, you know, the driver and the banter there, there are all of these little, like, remember the other movies that are way, way fucking better. Because in this scene, them taking the shit out of Chernobyl, it looks exactly when they're taking out the gold out of the reserve. Yes, you're right. We needed Johnny Come Marching Home to be playing there. Yeah, you're right.

He said, you're Fort Knox. He said, your Fort Knox. And he got rattled when McLean pushed him. That guy's great, that fucking psychiatrist in that movie. Put on a dress and fuck me. I was going to say, kill you. Oh, I want to watch Die Hard with a vengeance. But instead, it's a good day to die hard.

So the McLean's show up, right? And we're already getting the uranium out. There's this whole little army there. And they have this horseshit scene before they go into possibly certain death. You know, and they're just having a heart to heart. And it ends with Bruce Willis saying, I love you, boy. What? John McLean just said, what?

Stop it. Another my ass movie. you can do that the very last scene of the movie where you're both in stretchers next to each other being taken by the paramedics yeah that's where that belongs not before we go do this action thing it takes you right out of it and i'm like all right go in there and kill everyone now i guess well if you want to have a lot if because i understand you you you want to have some a little affection with this good have it at the beginning thing john mclean and i don't know how he'd get on the plane with this thing but he's got this little you know this little box with him and he's carrying around the whole time and in this scene he's like he takes it out he owns it's like here's your grandfather's god killer and it's a magnum

take this we're going to go kill a bunch of people that's what mclean would do yeah like here is a weapon of murder take it to murder people because that's the family business I mean this whole bullshit thing of like you know getting this relationship back on track

he even talks with the bad guy towards the front of the movie about, like, you know, dealing with kids and whatnot. And I'm like, why is this villain, by the way? Like, you think about it after the turn, but you're like, why did that villain have that conversation with him? Like, just stand there. Yeah. You know, it's all like, oh, kids, raising kids is tough. Oh, I know, my daughter.

I love her so much. It's never too late to get back with your son and all this hoarse shit. Well, until the turn, Yuri is acting like he's on, like, five volumes. Like he's just sleepwalking Because he's trying to play it like Oh I'm so scared by all this action that's going on And then he shoots the carrot eater in the head Like you need that turn to happen

When McLean and the sun are in their presence Like the audience has to find out At the same time as the McLean's That this dude is crooked Not the way it happens Whereas he just murders this guy And he's like now it's my uranium And like then the McLean's come in

And you're like okay well eventually they're going to find him out so now I'm just twiddling my thumbs as if I'm even supposed to know the carrot eater's name I'm calling him the carrot eater like fuck man I just want to remember his name and that's your job yeah as a director and a writer I might as well uh just have him credited as the carrot eater in the script bugs bunny there yeah that's the villain is bugs bunny so it's just I mean it's your it's your useless diehard shootout like the whole thing happens you know yury tries to get away this you know this whole nonsense happens they make their way up to the roof and the daughter is getting this chopper ready to go so bruce willis goes after the daughter and and and young mclean goes after yury up on this rooftop or whatever and like this helicopter takes off and it's it's the second time in the movie a helicopter starts firing like it's super can't at a building. It already happened

at that hotel scene, so you're like, oh, this is original. That's like rain in Russia, right? It's just a helicopter firing at someone. Yeah. Oh, it's look, it's Wednesday. Someone's firing at the building again. And so this is the biggest piece of bullshit in the movie because

McLean realizes what's about to happen to his son and he backs, he like ties a chain around this Jeep and backs it out like the back of this huge helicopter, right? It's like, it's a helicopter that's so big there's like a loading dock on it whatever and so like the car is about to go and that's when he has the the things you do for your kids reverse you know so the helicopters flying all over

the place well am i wrong and say that is the is the jeep the thing with the uranium in it um or is that on the ground still i forget i don't know if it really matters it doesn't matter but like i don't think the movie remembers i don't remember if the thing falls and like you just explode a bunch of uranium you're all dead anyway so who gives it shit yeah exactly yeah i don't know if they've loaded it up so like we've got these two battles going on right and at one point you know the the guy that we closely associate with being the the megal megal maniacal villain of this whole thing this guy yuri who's been a villain for 10 minutes tops total 10 minutes j courtney throws him off the roof of this building and

they have the audacity to to paris the Hans Gruber shot. They do. They paraded it, but then he falls into the blades of the helicopter and it's just a blood miss. The last boy scout level fucking

shredding. I'll give this movie one credit and that is blood missed. Yeah, good blood missed. I mean, it's pretty, pretty cool.

This dude. This dude is turned into human sushi instantly. But how insane? It's like, okay, so you work for the CIA, you've been working so hard

to get this guy. out of you know whatever and then you you have him he turns out to be a bad guy okay well maybe we can use him for something he doesn't have any information anymore yeah exactly yeah no knowledge of stuff we'd want to know he's a bad guy never mind there's also like some stupid hurrah scene of like um john mclean and john mclean junior like beating the shit out of someone that's just like oh you know no now we're gonna go be all america on you when I don't know

I do remember something right before he goes after Yuri Maybe maybe they weren't like physically beatings up someone But they were like pep talking like Yeah now we're gonna Now we're gonna really

Be America Well it's all fucking New Jersey Pride I'm tired of it Quitting is they've been beaten down For eons I know That they have to like rise up

Yeah But I think Plainsborough's really you know I mean but that's what it is That's also the scene where he's like, oh, I ran into so-and-so down the street the other day and his boys doing blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, that's funny. Remember that time you bailed me and him out of jail? Because blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, stop reminiscing. Stop talking about how awesome America is. It's worse than that. It's not that. I wish it was that. If it was just him saying, hey, you know, I bumped into Maddie Donahue the other day and he's doing just fine and he's fucking, he's got a dental practice or whatever. What he does do, do is he's like, you know what, Maddie Donahue took his father out for a vacation. He's asking his son, who he's on the way to, you know, to Chernobyl with that he wants him take him on a vacation.

Yeah, he's, well, he, yeah, you remind me of what they're doing. So he's comparing like, oh, this was supposed to be my vacation. I come to Russia and now I'm going to Chernobyl. Great. Who goes on vacation to Chernobyl? I guess I have to. And I'm like, well, I'm sorry, you sad sack piece of shit. Nobody asked you here in the first place.

You didn't have to go anywhere. You were not welcome. You've accrued all this vacation time. You could have gone anywhere. You chose to try to fucking tag along with your son in Moscow. There's a fucking Red Wings game now. So can we talk about when he jumps? So the truck is dangling off the helicopter.

Oh, oh, God. Yeah, okay. And he jumps off of it or like is sort of thrown off of it. and he's thrown safely away from all that crazy shit that's happening. But then through a, first of all, his robot body turns him into a CGI cartoon. And then he flies through the glass and it's safe as a cushy CGI.I. So he's not hurt. And then he rolls around.

He's just in a building now. And it's just like, oh, that's it. I'll just dust myself off. It's ridiculous. Like the helicopter, because it's being weighed down. by the jeep is like spinning in a circle and that dude's body fell through the propeller so i'm sure that uh you know kind of uncalibrated some things right so it's spinning in a circle and he's holding on like by two hands and he waits till it's like the momentum's gonna swing him around and he lets go yeah

a cartoon bubble forms around him and he just it's so it's impossible like you're so just dead. Maybe between like the helicopter and the I was going to say the wall, which is pretty much true, but like the glass. Yeah. He like, um, eats one of those stars from, uh, Super Mario brothers. Yeah.

Bruce Wells is just sparkling as he goes through this window. It's like a uranium thing, you know. Then all of a sudden you hear that where it's coming down. It's not, it's going to stop soon. Yeah, it's going to stop. Get ready, Bruce. He better go through that glass soon. It's going to wear off. So then the kid finds him and the helicopter crashes into like the biggest

explosion in the world. Yeah. And they jump again through this whole thing. They fall four fucking flights into a swimming pool. Oh, right. Because now the helicopters are crashing into the building. They're in now. And he has to jump again. Come on. There's so much jumping from heights in this movie. Oh, I mean, that's why like the other movies, everything is measured. So you can be like, oh man they do that crazy slide down the cable in that third movie isn't that nuts there's no other super jumps in diehard three like that's the super jump you used your super jump that's it you know the first one oh remember that time he jumped off the building and was tied by the fire hose that's the super jump like that's all you get you don't get four super jumps in one movie not in not cool but also just like a creative set piece i beg of you guys a fuck the flooding of the tunnels in the aqueduct in the third one is insane it's insane he's surfing on a dump truck and it's crazy again it's silly and it's crazy but that's what i want i want this to be silly and crazy and you know what the end of that sequence in that movie when the water

shoots him up the pipe you know what he does he shoots out he was alongside the highway sam jackson's like driving by and sees it happen he goes seven feet in the air, like a believable height and falls back to the ground and has a hard time getting up. Also, you know, that was with a dump truck which is like more of an everyday type of thing. And ever since

we had the fourth movie, everything has... Blackhawks. Yeah, everything is military grade. John McLean should not exist in the military grade scenarios unless it's I guess die hard too, but it's different. You know, that's guys with guns. All he has is his pistol.

Like it's his feet in his fucking pistol. And that's it. God damn it. Yeah, no, he should not be getting access to rocket launchers or whatever the hell. He shouldn't have to blow up, you know, a military helicopter with a cop car. Yeah. Let me just throw this there. Let me throw that on there. Because I'm a robot now.

See what that happens. Let me just stick that over there. See if that makes it blow up. Robot power. You always thinking was when they first go into Chernobyl and you don't know what they're looking for. and it's like this night vision goggle wearing hip high tech team going around I was like

imagine they just unearthed Dracula like that was it turns like that's the like the turn this movie takes we found Dracula's crypt like what the fuck good evening I am Adam Dracula

oh hello officer McLean so nice to see you that actually might be the premise of that shitty found footage movie, Chernobyl Diaries? Oh, yeah. That's my...

Adam Dracula, just living here in Chernobyl. The rent is too kill for. There hasn't been much blood here. Finally, some company. Come in. I live in all of Chernobyl. I am Adam Dracula. Tired of drinking blood from children with fins.

Oh, man, he's just grown them there, too. yeah it's bad oh man that guy's he's a nice guy when you meet him Adam you know he's like but then when you get to know when you get to know what Adam Dracula is really up to which is growing and harvesting

mutated children it's a bit discomfort for his own succulence of course oh of course for for his own you know life sustaining or afterlife sustaining abilities so I mean that's it

they fucking blow it up and then like junior thinks that John McLean is dead and he's like John John dad and you're like oh he did it he called him dead maybe the relationship is fixed and then it's like oh hey I'm over here do you just call me dad no all right then well barbecue yeah that's it's so stupid like I was waiting for you know the CIA to be like yeah we burned you but we've still been monitoring you or something a SWAT team comes in and extracts them. It's like, the movie ends with them walking away from Chernobyl, like this site at Chernobyl, being like, huh, man,

you're a McLean. This is what we do. Welcome to be in the McLean. It's just what we do. We walk 3,000 miles. Yeah, well, I guess we'll walk till we hit something. Let's just walk right out of this movie. Well, actually, no,

hold on, I got up here. I got a helicopter in my head and just let this. Oh, right. go go McLean copter here we go that totally could have happened yeah I'd be fine with that

that would be like the post credit scene well the bullshit thing is like it's like they're coming when they get when they do touch down and here's fucking Mary Elizabeth Winstead again it's like they're coming back from Iraq like it's like slow motion the big music

and I'm like shut the fuck up it's supposed to end with a big bang fuck you oh right because at the the end of the theatrical she's back right yeah she comes back see that's the thing the director's cut which i watch it just ends with them just walking away did the director hate her that's the thing right like i i kind of praised this decision at the end or at the beginning of this episode but the more i think on it it's like why would you sacrifice characterization for a longer car chase that's already

way too long yeah like okay you introduced this daughter in the last movie or reintroduced her now the son's here you have her in this movie like build on it but you have it don't ignore it you know what I mean like the whole movie's about his family don't cut her out of it for your director's cut that's just sloppy director's cut

and I mean I imagine it's more like fucking I guarantee you Mary Elizabeth Winston does not give a shit and just wants to be in and out of it that was a one day for her oh yeah one day I'm dropping you off at the airport got it okay and now I'm picking you up okay perfect Have a fun time, Jay.

But that's like, you know, the end of all the other movies, it's like the, the helicopter shot looking down on the scene, right? Like the ambulances pulling up to Nakatomi, the fire trucks pulling up to the airplane on the tarmac and whatnot. The fire trucks and everything pulling up to the wreckage of Jeremy Irons' dead helicopter corpse. Like, we get those in those movies. And directors cut or theatrical cut don't have that. Like it doesn't end where the action ends. Yeah, because how's that socialism working out for you, right? No fire trucks, no ambulances.

Well, they're in a ghost town. No fire trucks, no ambulances. Which, by way, all this stuff is happening in Chernobyl. I wouldn't light a cigarette in Chernobyl. I don't want to do any. I have to be there. first of all getting me there I mean it would have to be a military operation

also how about opened wounds yeah I don't want to rub that dirt in there yeah you know what diehard 6 they both turn into aliens you know we have a couple of Russian listeners and I would like them to write in you know I would like to know

what their perspective would be on this on this shit it is this shit the shitty movie yeah yeah so you know we all hate movies at gmail dot com I would love to hear a Russian or Eastern European perspective on this movie. I mean, or a Ukrainian? Like, would someone on, you know, the outskirts of Chernobyl be like,

hey, man, a bunch of explosions going on back at Chernobyl. I think we should send someone in there? It might be happening again. Like, or whatever. Like, there's no authorities that show. Right, yeah, because they kept on coming for Adam Dracula's parties. They realized it was nothing. Oh, that's just, it's just Adam Dracula.

He's having another fancy sex party. Sexy blood party. I love a man in... I love a man in uniform. Yeah, so it's a piece of shit. It's a good day to die hard. And I hope it's the last. But you know, here's the thing.

This movie was super successful. It was made on the cheap because we're all just jumping in front of computer screens. And it made like $300 million worldwide. It tanked in this country But, you know That might be enough to sink it for good though You know America has spoken

I wish that was the case these days But it's just not Like it's not with But if you can make Buku bucks on the global box office Doesn't matter We're destined I guarantee you There's going to be at least one more

You know these foreigners are ruining it international listeners stop seeing Bruce Willis movies I do wonder what's going to be the next pun what can they like a fucking live free or die hard like good good day to die hard like well I said die hard in space so maybe it's like that's one small step for man one giant leap for die hard

yeah he just goes to the moon for some reason we you know one day we all got to die hard there's got to be more Die hard comes for us all. We all die hard alone. Yeah, that might be it. That's the great one to finish it off, but he fucking dies at the end of it by like sneezing too hard and he gets a fucking embolism in his brain and dies, just drops dead. Or it's directly after this and like the Chernobyl stuff is taken hold and he's just, you know.

Oh, we shouldn't have went to that wasteland chasing that terrorist. It's just like 50-50. Or an enemy government has him stringed up and is cutting off his robot limbs. know we have to see how you work yeah what are you talking about we heard you were a robot no i'm not and then they may yeah and they take the science behind that and make make make mcclains for other countries then it becomes what's that bruce willis clone movie oh surrogates surrogates which has some of the worst computer effects this side of anything that movie i'll say surrogates i had more fun watching than this much much better oh yeah the surrogates

I think it's there's a clear-cut villain. There's a story that's going on. It feels like 88 minutes and not 880 minutes. Yeah, yeah. It's got a stupid premise, but this might even be stupid. I really need to hammer that home, by the way. All the other movies are much longer and feel much quicker. Yeah.

This is 95 minute. I can do a 95-minute movie in my sleep. It doesn't take anything. It's actually how you write your film reviews. Exactly. You sleep through the video. and then just type a bunch of bullshit. Oh, what's this?

Oh, 12 years of slave. Let me put that on. Good night, honey. I do have a bankie at all the screenings. No, but like, I've watched, this is the second time I watched this. The first time, I couldn't remember the first 30 minutes for the life of me.

And this time, I couldn't remember the last 30 minutes for the life of me. Because, I mean, at least with the first part of it, it's like just get to the terrorist attack. Like, the movie doesn't start until, there's a terrorist attack, you know what I mean? And we're just slogging away with this John McLean Jr. backstory

because we're supposed to care. And the Russian we talked about it already, but that Russian, the scene where he's talking to the Russian cab driver, it goes on for a while. It's way too long. And it's, he says maybe two words. All right, for any of our listeners who did not make it out to the theater

to see a good day to die hard, is anyone going to recommend a good day to die hard? Fuck out of here. No. All right, goodbye. Oh, no, I wouldn't recommend it either. There you go. Yeah, man, I'm not going to recommend this. And I would even say, like, for someone who considers themselves either A, a Bruce Willis completeist with, which, you know, what are you doing with yourself? I mean, you've got a lot of work ahead of it. Or be a diehard completist. Like, you might even want to think about this movie as being like a non-canon situation. You know what I mean? I would almost go so far as to wager when they inevitably make a sixth diehard, which they're going. to they might even just gloss over this existing right like there's always those sequels we pretend don't happen like right right like highlander two into highlander three yeah anyone just no mention of it right it's like they're not going to be like oh well remember the last

time in russia like in the other movies they do obviously the third one recalls the first one for clear reasons and stuff like that but it's all like oh you're the motherfucker from the Nakatomi incident. Oh, you did the, you know, the big thing at the Dulles Airport or whatever. The thing with the tower. That's my favorite part of Die Hard with a vengeance. All they say is that thing with the tower. That's all they say and it's done with.

Yeah, and you just know what he's talking. Like, Die Hard 6 is not going to be like, oh, yo, you're the dude from Chernobyl. Hey, yo, I heard you're the one that made, you blew up Chernobyl. Oh, you're the one that started World War III. Dot com. You look, you, who, like, who is, registrar? like who owns ww3.com comes up john mclean patterson new jersey it's john mclean's startup it's all like fucking uh like

doomsday preparer oh dude you took the words out of my mouth john mclean is definitely a doomsday prepper his fucking bunker well because the thing is he knows that the expendables are rising to power in all the countries so he's going on the ground to be in power soon so he's got to do something and i love by the way how he was fighting with stelone over money with that third expendables movie i don't like expendable Two, but it is a way more entertaining and well-made movie than a good day to die. I would agree to that. In every aspect.

Because it has John Claude Van Dam as your villain. Your clear-cut villain. That alone, I would recommend Expendables 2. There you go. Instead of watching A Good Day to Die Hard, go back and check out Expendables 2 if you haven't. Well, when that money thing came out, part of me was wondering, and it hasn't been. When I was mentioning the global box office. No, no, no, Bruce Willis, not getting out of bed in Bulgaria for under a quarter of a million dollars or something shit.

Expendables three, he's like, it's got to be a million dollars. What's straight, how much was it? I don't know. It might have been more, I don't know, but it was, it was, like, ridiculous for what his character and role would have been. Part of me, it does think that some of this is like, I don't want to work anymore, but I don't really know how to say no to this stuff. So I'm just going to throw out these fucking crazy ass figures. I think that's probably also part of it because he would just like, well, let's see what happens. And he must have tossed out some insane number for this.

And he's just like, yeah, I mean, I'm not going to do anything. But, you know, if you want to pay me to, you know, say these lines, probably. Yeah, yeah. Fuck it. I'll do it. Which is unfortunate. It's, you know, probably my top three favorite action franchises. And it's an embarrassment at this point.

You know what I mean? I do know what you mean. Well, thank you. I just want to let you know. You guys get me in my disgust for this franchise. I get it. Souring. So this is the last episode of our worst of.

Yes. Maybe we could briefly just mention what we think are some of the best movies of 2013. Yes. I know Cabman could run a blue mile with that one. I mean, I'm a big, big, big proponent of the Wolf of Wall Street. I think it's phenomenal. I think it's hilarious. I think all the...

It glamorizes, lewd usage man yeah man man and the award for people just missing the fucking point this year goes to those fucking people holy shit out of control what were you watching like i really i i usually get it i usually do get what when people get complaining about this stuff yeah usually at least have an idea of what they're talking about right this i don't know how you watch that movie and think i mean those guys are so great well it's like the rappers that have clearly never seen the last 20 minutes of Scarface and fucking idolized Tony Montoya, you know what I mean? Like

because yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's so glamorized when he's fucking punching his wife in the stomach at the end of that movie. You know, it's like showing you what bullshit capitalism is. And it does it so straight face and so well. And they just, I mean, these people who don't like, I really

have no patience for them. Yeah. One of your favorites, Eric? One of my favorites is inside Lewin Davis, and I want to sing it even louder than usual just because of the Oscar snubs. And I know the Oscars don't really matter in the scheme of things. Never have, never will. But I think it's one of the best Cohen Brothers movies, period. And I couldn't believe it because, like, I've always loved the Cohn brothers. I will defend even some of their lesser titles.

But this was just phenomenal, and I think people need to run out and see it. I've, I said it, though, when I saw, I think it's their best since Lobowski easily. For me, it's their best. Yeah. It's that's, that's, and it's like one of those things that could be debated, but no one who hears someone say that would be like, you're fucking crazy. Like, that's how good that movie is. It's, it's, it's a good movie. Uh, one that I'm going to toss out is Thomas Winterberg's The Hunt.

Uh, it's a movie, it's a Danish movie with Mads Mickelson, NBC's. Hannibal or Casino Royals Leshifa. Valhalla, who rose? Exactly. Exactly. Thank you. The murderous Viking. It's a movie about he lives in this small town and he is falsely accused of molesting

a girl and it's just about like this town turning on him and it is probably one of the most nail-biting thrillers. In a film that's not on the outset you look at that movie and you're like well okay that's maybe some sort of

drama or something like that i mean this is like pounding your fingernails into your thigh like holy shit thriller and it's i mean i mickles he gives one of the best performances of the year i mean that whole movie is centered on his performance and he nails it every scene yeah you know and i know like we don't normally nominate like foreign film performances for you know acting awards like oscar you know acting awards whatever but like if there was ever a time to break that mold you know it's it's him in that movie it's fantastic and uh i think one that i can throw it that we'll all communally agree on is her yeah yeah i uh i like i like it i wasn't as blown away by it as i was hoping to be but i think it's still pretty good although uh stephen

saidek who isn't here today uh i believe dislikes her he does dislike her so i just want to put that out there yeah it's it's it's three out of four w hm is approved of her different So that's it. That's the worst of 2013. Like we said, man, you know, this movie was this year, this movie year was not in short supply of crap. Yeah. Uh-huh. That's just some of the crap. Uh, you know, we already did grownups too in summer blockbuster. So you guys got a hefty dose of 2013. Yeah. Now we could put it away. Yeah. Now it now it's just, it's done with it. 2014 begins and look forward to ride a lot. long come next January. What's right along, Chris? It's Ice Cube and Kevin Hart being assholes. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. Get ready. That's a good day to die hard from 2013, directed by John Moore.

If you want to get a hold of us, for more information about the show, check out our website, WHM Podcast.com. You can like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM Podcast. We're very active in the social media communities to come on out and chat with us about whatever you want we will personally get back to you it's not an intern it's us oh yeah yeah it's us it's us it's us type in those tweets man composing those facebook comments taking your shit it doesn't happen often but it don't get us wrong it does happen we're not for

everyone right into the mailbag if we are or are not for you we all hate movies at gmail dot com. Eric's program Blame it on Outerspace is also available. Blame it on Outerspace.com at Blam Spacepot on Twitter. Facebook.com slash Blam it on Outerspace. Both of these shows are available in iTunes and on the Stitcher Radio app.

So rate and review wherever you get the show. Leave us some kind words, boost the profiles of these shows. We would greatly appreciate it. It's the least you could do, really. I mean, you hardly ever visit our iTunes page. You're never there. You never come say hi when you're on iTunes.

You never breeze by. The least you could do is leave a note. I made all of this matzabal soup, and you're not even going to leave a comment. Next week starts the highly anticipated listener request month for calls. We'll make it to air over the next four weeks with picks from listeners like you. So we're going to start things off with something a bit obscure. So, Eric, what kind of a hint can we throw out here? And this is going to be a little left-field hint.

You're going to have to really think about it for a minute. But it takes place in the Houston slums, sort of. The Houston Slums is the location for next week's film. Right. So until next week, where we visit the Houston Slums. I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin.

Take it easy. I don't know.