We Hate Movies - S4 Ep143: Episode 143 - Pray for Death

Episode Date: February 4, 2014

In this week's episode, the gang kicks off another Listener Request Month with 1985's amazing, karate-feuled, revenge film, Pray for Death! Why would you leave behind a lucrative promotion to open a terrible restaurant in another country? What's with Limehouse's love of costumed shenanigans? And where did that chainsaw come from? Plus: Saito's revenge rampage runs awfully close to Batman's origin. Coincidence? Pray for Death stars Sho Kosugi, James Booth, Donna Kei Benz and Michael Constantine; directed by Gordon Hessler. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the program. and welcome to the first week of our new listener request month.

Very excited for this. Chris is excited. Chris is very excited. I'm a little, you know. It's the most excited I've seen you get in like 10 years. Well, I mean, it's this and like what, the second Blade movie. You got pretty excited. I got pretty excited.

Hey, guys, they're making a sequel to Blade. Can you believe it? The vampire's mouth open up, Mom. Yeah, that is pretty special. what are you the father yes yeah that's pretty special hey that is that's special this uh this coffee and paper is pretty fantastic as well this week's selection comes to us from mike from minneapolis who had this to say hey guys this is mike from minneapolis i'd like to request an american martial arts movie from

1985's called pray for death this film has everything ninjas Asian stereotypes weird costumes, horrible acting, the world's most protagonists, and most especially, child endangerment, lots of it. Guys, please review Pray for Death. You will have a lot of fun doing so. Thank you.

And you know what, Mike? You're right. On the Money. I had a lot of fun with this movie. 1985's Pray for Death, directed by a fella named Gordon Hessler. Also, the Helmer of Kiss versus the Phantom of the Park

or whatever that fucking movie is. the murders at the he did a few Vincent Price movies well he did the one with Jason Robarts not the one with George C. Scott oh no no no no

but the one with Jason Robarts which is actually pretty good which is kind of what makes you a little bit how did this happen how did all this happen it's called the murders murders at the Rormorg

I think of all okay maybe maybe it was an incorrect IMDB and they're just saying he murdered people at that place oh that could be yeah who knows I mean with a movie like this It's a documentary. My murders at the Rooborg.

This movie is a little bit of a we love movies this week, as far as I'm concerned, because this movie is a barrel of laughs and a whole lot of fun. This is, I mean, it's a ninja movie mixed with a revenge movie, mixed with an idiot's abroad movie. And it's sort of the vague drug trade because these, the way, the way this America lives and breathes is just like the perfect like 1980s crime movie. Oh, there is a high level of scuzz in this movie. Oh, yeah.

Big time scus. And by the way, so the clue from last week, I mean, this would be fuddled quite a few people. This film takes place in Houston, Texas. But we begin in Japan. That's what was going on it. There was all sorts of confusion. And by the way, we're never going to do a episode on Robocop 2. Get out of town.

Robocop 3, maybe. You know, could be discussed. I was just prepared, you know, robo cops famously take place in Detroit. I said Houston. The city has a statue of a fictional character in it. It's okay. We all make mistakes.

It's totally fine. It's totally fine. And we're talking about pray for death. And, I mean, my God, I haven't had this much fun on the show since best of the best, too, I'd wager. Yeah. It's got that kind of vibe to it. Although, I got to tell you, it starts on the. wrong foot we got a fake movie fake movie shit it's got to stop i don't i don't need the fucking

fake movies man just start the real movie i got places to be well the the opening yeah it's like it's like what is going on because it's sort of like a bond movie like it's like this you know they're like training and stuff but then it turns into like this ninja adventure movie yeah within a movie and then you pull out and the kids are his kids are watching it and i was just like, well, that looked like a pretty cool ninja adventure as well. I had no problem with it though. I'm settled into the ninja situation that's in front of me, which appeared to be pretty old school, not necessarily feudal Japan, but you know, not present day or 1985 present day. I got to say though, like, I'll give it a pass this time because it kind

of foreshadows his later going full ninja. Yeah. Like you get to see some full ninja action real quick and then you know you're like oh well yeah come back I mean it's fine I just kind of wanted him to be a ninja like really I think he ends up you mean like his profession

yeah I just kind of wanted that to like I wanted him to do that and then get on a plane to come back home and then his adventure starts and his wife can be the executive or the restaurant tour or whatever well in high school I worked at McDonald's but uh I got a second job one summer as a

Ninja. It was pretty great. Hit the circuit. It's been a couple years since then. Got my associates in ninjitsu and the rest was chroniclercline. That's kind of what I want. So we've got this main character, this fellow Saito, and he's a, he's a, this is the best part ever. Saito is a super successful businessman in Japan.

He's in line to, you know, succeed his boss or whatever. is going on, this huge promotion is going to be like one of the youngest executives to ever work at this particular food distributor or something. Beautiful house. Making Japanese history, man. Like this dude, yeah, you know, he's some serious yen. Like a, yeah,

it's a Japanese version of a Wunderkind. You know, this guy's still pretty young. Yeah, and you're, you're right, Chris, his house, it's fantastic. Beautiful house. It's gorgeous. I was, I was pretty jealous. Yeah. Yeah. Big backyard. You could have a couple

dogs back there. No dogs. A couple of Japanese dogs. But you could have some Japanese dog back there. There may or may not have been a Japanese dog in that yard. It could have been. I'm not saying there couldn't have been, but I didn't see any. He's got two kids and he's got a wife who's Japanese American who's

somehow living over there. We don't have the story. I think it's like her father was American and like moved there and he's buried in Houston. Yes. The her parents are both buried in Houston as we find out. So we're in Japan

and we get a little taste of their life here including both of his kids take karate class which is it's a really awesome like clearly this movie it's a low budget movie and clearly this movie did not go to Japan to shoot

the Japan sequences because they go to this karate class and yet there's a lot of Asian kids sitting around but there's also a shit ton of white kids. Way more white kids than would ever be in a Japanese karate class ever. Just all these white kids sitting around. So it's like whatever Texas dojo they found themselves in, you know, we're at karate class. And unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger from a couple weeks ago, this dad makes it to that fucking

karate class right on time. Right on time. His kids do not hate his guts. They love their father very much. I mean, you kind of get to feel like he's not riding these kids. At least you, I mean, it's not, no. No, but like you get the feeling. that at one point he probably like had a really stern talk to them like about this stuff yeah I mean about karate about karate and how important it is for structuring your life and such things oh yeah you gotta sell them on it yeah but I did want to before we get into karate class because it is hilarious one thing I also don't like about this beginning thing is it's a big thing while they're watching the movie they're like who's the black ninja

who could the black ninja be is it because in the movie in the movie that starts a thing and it's clearly their father you mean the actor playing the black ninja clearly the father that's shitty and they kind of they are they kind of also like later on tease the father about like why can't you do right like they don't know that the moves

why it's got the moves he's got like a secret dojo and like he keeps that shit separate and it's like the kids don't know about this this this black ninja stuff I'm into like they can't know about it but they're like busting his balls about it exactly he's looking at him like yeah I am just a loser who doesn't know karate.

And I love that they're in Japan, and they're just, like, going back and forth and, like, broken English to each other around the dinner table. I mean, it's for our benefit, really. But, like, one of the lines is, they're still ninjas. I've seen them. Haven't I, Dad? And then, and Akira Sato just goes, uh, if you say so. Yeah, fine. Whatever.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying you're a liar. Oh, God. ninja shit again. God damn it. I am not going to have this battle, this war of words with you again. Yes, you saw a ninja one time. Go to bed. Look, the all in the family reruns are only on from seven to nine. Could you just fucking lay off it for a minute while I just take it in for a minute here? These are two kids that are obsessed with ninjas and it's got to get pretty obnoxious. It would kill me. Like all they're talking about is ninjas. The whole, the first 20 minutes of this movie. is just nothing but ninja jib jab it's obnoxious i would get them like one of those like dummies that like you can hang out in the backyard and they could just kick it in whatever thing like my buddy and me yeah well bigger than my buddy oh oh stretch armstrong yes because he stretches dad i'm gonna beat the shit out of the stretch armstrong he's a ninja right dad yeah that's fantastic go and do that uh if you say so so the the the the wife is like

Like, hey, so kind of got this big opportunity I wanted to tell you about, I might have a sweet deal on a derelict Houston, Texas restaurant that we should totally upend our lives and start running and make over. And this is where you get the exposition about him being like, you know, one of Japan's top 40 to watch under 40. And he's like, he's like, well, you know, this promotion would make us like, the fifth richest family in this country. But, well, I suppose if you want to go run this shitty, greasy spoon, okay. Take a week off and go visit the grave. You don't have to move to Houston.

Yeah, you should really fly out there first, get a lay of the land. Get a fucking a hotel room, a nice hotel room in the city. Because that's the thing. If they saw beforehand, if they saw beforehand what they were going to get into, you would say no. You would decline the same. of this restaurant. So real quick, at this karate class, there's just a hilarious

thing I wanted to point out. It's all these little kids sitting around. And his two kids are, like, they're no older than like nine or ten years. There's like, there's two boys, one's maybe ten, and the other ones like between seven and eight or something like that. And all the other kids around them are the same. Except for

one child who's clearly 17 years old. And the master's like, or the sense, you know, he's like, hey, we're going to have a little spar. You know, we're going to get a little duel going here. Who wants to do it. And the 17 year old's like, well, I'd like to give it a shot. All right. Titan versus. Yeah. And then like the littlest son stands up and he's like, me too. I love ninjas. And he just beats the shit out of this kid. And they're like,

oh. And then the older son somehow best this giant. But it's like, again, it's like Kramer in the karate class. Like maybe this teenager is at the same level as these kids. But he is three times the size of everyone else in this class. That's just the heart of they fall. I mean, he's been pickling in that class for a while because he's really bitter now. And he just will beat the shit out of anybody. And speaking to that, before we get to Houston, when they're hanging out with the kids at the house, these kids pull out like straight up katanas on their father. Like, we love ninjas.

We love ninjas. See, Dad? And they're bringing out these swords to his neck. Oh, yeah, right at the jugular. And the wife is just like, ah, ha, ha, ha, don't hurt your father. we've been through this before remember we said safety in the house right kids

now they don't know that their dad is a super ninja no it's a it's a secret identity so it's like in reality this guy could snap the necks of his sons in like do you think he would do that if like that story's getting too close

my own son's gonna kill me that's what I was expecting I was expecting him to take the blade out of his hand and put it right back on his neck because it's just it's instinct he kills out of Oh no, what did I do? That's like what would happen.

That's a great start to any movie. Cradling two little heads. What did I do? Ten years later. Best fucking prologue of all time. But you're the guy that decapitated your sons in a domestic dispute. Everybody's pointing to him on the street. So before they get to America, he needs to go to his, he needs to go to his secret dojo.

Yeah, well, he's got to tie up loose ends. I mean, you're going to leave a life behind. You've got to make sure all the doors are closed. And here's a question I had for the room. Is this the big master guy with the hair and such? Yeah. Is he Lord Raiden for Mortal Kombat? Or is he a father-like figure?

I think it's a father-like figure. Because he does refer to him as father at the end of this sea. Yeah, but he says something like, I raised the two of you like sons. Oh, I think it might have also been like maybe there was like, an orphan thing because this guy's like a master shredder and he found these two these two Japanese boys and raised them up yeah to be like super ninja

yeah I don't think he's like the biological father he actually kind of looks like Pad Mai from Kill Bill or whatever that character's name was oh yeah you're right he's got the gigant excuse me gigundo gray hair like all intricately

but this is something I I'm always a little and in this movie specifically I was just kind of like well this makes no sense so he goes to this place to his secret dojo and he has a flashback

right that takes place it takes place at the same exact dojo correct wherein he accidentally kills his brother correct

who is also robbing the dojo yeah right because see what happened was the brother joined the foot clan yeah and they are no good I mean, Shredder pays pretty damn well.

So this brother's stealing cartons of cigarettes and arcade machines. Because money talks and that bullshit philosophy walks. Yeah, we don't need that. We need money. We work for foot now. So like, wouldn't that place be shut down? Like, I mean, he'd be shut down. Because, okay.

So the fatality happens. This person gets murdered on the premises. Yeah, it's a dojo. Go on. But that's my. point is it's just a dojo. It's not like international waters. Well, no, but here's what happened, right? So they have this fight, right? So the, our hero, Saito, he's like, he's like, hey man, you shouldn't steal from the dojo. This is

like a sanctuary. That's really cruel. And he's like, oh yeah, well, you're fucking cloudy headed Saito. You don't see the big picture. And then they have a big fight. And he accidentally runs himself through on his own sword. I think that the dad is like, all right, let's just be cool. You guys were, you were in a, you were in a match. Something went wrong. It was a total accident. You accidentally ran him through. It was all in a sanctioned karate situation. He gets off. You don't close the dojo. Everybody's happy. I mean, that, that, that, or, you know, they just kicked him into the swamp. I don't know. I think that place is, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I think that place is going down. I mean, like, if you have going down for what? You have a fight, a fight with

weapons like that you have to Chris have you ever seen um mortal combat not the movie the most realistic movie in the world no no no the game the game or a Tekken or all these things now now it stands to reason then

some heavy shit happens at dojo's people get their brains busted out I suppose but I it's it's a bit much for me it's a bit much that someone got hurt at a fighting house Not hurt. Stabbed in the gut and die. Well, it's also a sword house.

Well, and actually, though, I mean, the guy hilariously slips on another sword that's on the floor and then falls into the one that stuck through this column. I was kind of expecting a Benny Hill sound. It's a whoop. This dude has a banana peel accident on this sword. It is the funniest part of this movie. And then it goes to what's great is that he comes out of the. flashback and it goes right into another fight scene. Well, this is what I didn't understand because

in the flashback you see the father, but he's just like kind of in the shadows and you don't really know what's going on. So it comes out of the flashback and there's this same dude and they start fighting and they're really going at it and I'm like, oh, what's this guy's fucking problem now man? And then they

just stop and he's like, so dad I've been meaning to talk to you about moving I'm moving to Texas and I was like wait a second. That's your dad? Why are you just hardcore fighting each other. That's what they do. Size of respect, I guess. That's how you grow up. You grow up in the dojo, you know?

This is what happens. You got to show off your skill. I learned this from you. See what I can do? And almost kill you. Yeah, aren't you proud of me? I've got this sword to your jugular. So the dad's just like, you know, hey, you got to escape the past. You got to stop blaming yourself for

your brother's death. Maybe it is a good idea that you rush and move to Texas. Why not? And that's kind of the end of it. Then we're just in Houston. And now this is one of my favorite scenes because we just cut to them

on the sidewalk in Houston, Texas. There is just a big old bum laying on the ground burping and like, like we just, that's the first glimpse of America is a burp. There's two guys walking down the street

with the giant, giant boom boxes and like, this is like scum central. Like it's just so disgusting. And everyone's looking at them like, wait, wait, normal clothes.

Yeah, it's like this well-dressed family. Yeah, they couldn't fathom it. And there's multiple bums, too. I mean, it's as believable as when Homer has that flashback of going to New York. And then the chuds got them. It's just as believable as that. It's silly and ridiculous. And also, so, okay, we're in Houston now and we're strolling the streets.

We end up at like, like old Hickok's tobacco shop. yeah it's kind of an old saloon yeah but next door is is this old cigar shop that he used to like run his his wife ran right and uh it's been locked up since her death he didn't change anything about inside of it he just padlocked the door yeah there's like there's a cigar indian there's cigar boxes there's candy on the shelves and shit it's really weird so like they come up and this old fucker is like oh hey you're the people that are here to buy my restaurant or whatever that's cool got the full $20 with you i mean yeah this place must have been a pretty nice bargain and they're walking through and the kids like what's that door and he explains the whole thing about the tobacco shop i haven't opened it since my wife died and he's like can i go in and the parents are like shut up and the guy is already welling up with emotion and he's like I suppose if you little child really have to see this tobacco shop I'll open this door

Well we own it now old man Give us the tour Come to terms with it god damn But the fun the funnier thing to me is that he's like I can't go in there because it's been locked And I forgot where the key is It's like a gym lock Yeah it's pretty terrible

You could get a fucking like Thankfully we have a ninja present Well, yeah. We have a full-blown superhero on our hands. May I? And then he just like, the door flies in outer space. It's a real good shove and this door just breaks open.

And then they start, like, walking in its dust covered yet. So there's like boxes of cigars. There's a cigar start Indian. There's candy jars all over the place. And this old man starts weeping. I was expecting to find a dead old woman in the corner. Well, she died, so I locked it. I'm a mama fired her back in 1935.

It's a Mrs. Bates skeleton. They're like, oh, who's here in the tobacco show? And they turn the chair around. Saito smacks a light bulb. So now, taxi-dermied. I guess this crime syndicate has been using this as like a drop-off point for years. Well, that's the thing.

Like, he goes to open the outs, like the door that leads to the street, what would have been the front door of this store. And he's like, Oh, well, this appears to have been padlocked as well. I don't remember putting a padlock here. So you're like, hmm. Pay attention to your house, old man. Yeah, this is why you just don't leave shit unattended in a big house

because a crime syndicate could be using it as a drop site for heroin and jewels. By the way, you know, once you see or you hear about like, oh, that, you know, that properties for sale are like, oh, old man green is unloading it. Move to one of the other 50 abandoned shops in the neighborhood. Yeah, I saw your neighborhood. It's a real scuzz hole. Go anywhere else. Well, because every, it's funny, every institution that's brought up at, like,

the police will get to the police and how in after they are. Oh, yeah. Sting can't write a song. Oh, yeah. No, I got it. But, like, we were talking about this before we went on the air here. But this company who is putting a bunch of money into this guy and really, they didn't send anybody out to just

see where you were going to put like all this money. What company? The company he's working for. The crime syndicate? No, no, no, no, no. He's not working for a company. Isn't he like an, is it, no, no. No, that's, that's what we're saying is ridiculous. He quits his job. So they can open this restaurant. So, yeah, basically. Oh, I thought they were like sending him there. No, no, no, no, no. He quits. He quits this job

so they can open the shit hall restaurant. Wow, that's really stupid. I know. You know what this neighborhood really needs? Fancy Japanese restaurant. Yeah, that is the ridiculous part. They opened like a restaurant slash grocery store. Well, yeah, maybe I'm just assuming it would be a Japanese restaurant. But maybe it's just like a hamburger stand.

No, it's not. There's a scene where he's like having these dudes put up a sign. And it's like the name of the restaurant. And then it says like Japanese foods. on it or something. They open a Japanese restaurant in the middle of a Houston slum. Yeah. Why? Open a bodega. That's where I go to get my unaki. Oh, yeah. You know, the shittier the neighborhood, the better the food. That's the way it works in Houston. Maybe. I don't know. It makes no goddamn sense at all. So, yeah, so there's this

this crime syndicate that's using it as a drop point. So we see these these couple of fellas come in and drop some stuff under the floorboards. Right. And, uh, The dude is like, hmm, I want to see what's in this envelope this time. And he opens it up. And there's a bunch of, like, Coke or heroin or something. But then there's, like, the jewel from Titanic's in there for some reason. And he's like, well, say, this ought to get me a pretty piece. And he steals it.

And it's like this dude that sets off the entire horrific chain of revenge-related events in this movie. Because then those two guys are corrupt cops, by the way. so then like the criminals come in to make the pickup and this bracelet isn't there this necklace or whatever the hell it is and they're like well there's just a bunch of coke here and they think that the old man who owns the building ripped them off which leads to the single greatest thing I have seen happen in a movie since I don't even know this is amazing so there's like the big tearful goodbye like Like, this guy's moving to Atlantic City to live with his widowed sister. Oh, this Houston's getting too gross. I think we're going to go to Atlantic City. I'm going to go to a 1985 Atlantic City. Yeah, that'll clean up my life.

You do want more of the rats than the cockroaches. Like a slum is just all cockroaches. You just want a little bit more of the rats. There's not enough sleazy, legalized casino gambling in my neighborhood. He's fine with rodents. Houston's played out. I hear they got new garbage in it. Atlantic City.

So they, like, see this old man off. Like, he's got his car packed up with his meager possessions. His wife's skeleton is in the backseat. It's like Clark Griswold going on vacation. He's got things on his roof. It's pretty hilarious. And, like, this guy doesn't get a quarter mile away from the house. When these criminals, like...

They say that's when you're most likely to have a problem. Yeah. Closest to your home a quarter mile away. And so these guys, like, pull up and this dude gets in the car and points a gun in this 90 year old man's face and he's like just drive and they take him to like under a train trestle or like a highway underpass or something and they like get him out of the car and they you know it's we meet like the crime boss lime house is the main lime house willie is this gentleman's he's like a bootlegger or so that's what you would think with that name

Harry Limehouse from Justified He's a Was he a butcher? Yeah, he's a butcher But and It's just hilarious Because by the way This is the writer of the film as well

He's the writer of the film He played Ernie on Twin Peaks He was in Zulu He's one of the soldiers in Zulu Yeah, this guy's in a lot of stuff He's been around for a while Decent, you know, acting career I had no idea he was into this type of stuff

This is a bit much I didn't know he was into writing Sleazy karate movies And I, he's, he's British, but like, he's got this accent that's British, New Zealand, Australian. Like, I don't know what is going on with this guy. You know, he sounds like, he sounds like the accent in after earth. That's where they stole it from is this guy covering up his accent. But because he's trying to do, like, he's trying to cover up his actual accent and replace it with like a gangster accent.

Yeah. And it just blows up in his face. Yeah. So this guy gets out of the car and they get the old man out of the car. car and they're like, where's the necklace Labowski? And the guy's just like, I don't know. I really have no idea. I don't know

what you're talking about. And then they just start beating this guy with like a cane or something? A crowbar. Oh, it's a crow bar? A full crowbar. Oh, delicious. They like tie his hand out or something and start wailing on it so he can't move it and he's there's beating the shit out of him with this crowbow. And this is

an old man. Oh, it's four guys, it's four muscle bound assholes beating up on a geriatric. A bunch of mustaches and open blouses. That's what these guys are. Oh, man. All the V-Net, like, they all got these, like, shitty V-neck polos.

It's, oh, it's gross. They look disgusting. And they just beat this dude till he's out cold. And then this guy starts dumping gas all over the car. And the old man is just slung over the hood. And I'm like, oh, that's not good. And then Limehouse Willie says to, says to this fella, he says, uh, you're going to give the old fucker, a Viking funeral

and they light the man on fire and the car explodes. And kudos to this movie because it's the first of several times in where something explodes and this movie has the common courtesy to put a dummy in the vehicle that's blowing up because there's just

an old man dummy that goes sky high and the laughs don't stop. Well that's the thing I wanted I did not stop laughing for three minutes. Instead of They don't even have the dummy in the

vehicle. They've tied him with rope. They've tied his wrist to like the windshield. Yeah, he's on top of the car. And I mean, why? Why not just put him in the fucking car? Well, because these guys don't give a shit.

Like they're running this town. Yeah, you've already done the work to time up to the hood and beat him with a crowbar. I'm not moving that old man. But what's amazing is not. Nothing comes of this. At all.

You don't hear about this ever again. No one knows that this old man only made it 800 feet away from his house and then was set on fire. The family never finds out about it. I think they bring it up towards the very end. Do they? Just like a passing thing. Because like that's got to come up at some point. Like, hey, Saito, remember that dude who you just bought this house from for $200?

He was burned alive, not 800 feet from here. And I get it's a slum and, you know, it's poverty stricken everything. Somebody's hearing this explosion would fucking blow the pants off Sylvester Stallone. Man, it's a bad part of town. You just look the other way. In like two months, the cops roll by. Be like, God, there's another charred body. All right.

Oh, what was that noise? Oh, just a three o'clock explosion. Yeah. What? Really? It's a massive, like, I love the smell of napalm in the morning explosion. Like, it's insane that there's not fire trucks being called. It's ridiculously awesome.

It's a McGruber explosion. Like, it's a ridiculous, big old, like, somebody knows about this. Ten people are deaf because of this explosion. So if the neighborhood wasn't bad already with Limehouse Willie and his goons. Limehouse, Willie, I just love it. And the kids take their bikes to a convenience store. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, you're just checking out your neighborhood.

You want to scope out the nearest 7-Eleven, you know? You got to do that. They're celebrating because they've, like, the restaurant has just made its first dollar. And they're like so excited, like, oh, yeah, this is going to work. Like, we're going to make our new life work. And the dad is like, take this dollar and whatever, go buy sodas at the store, whatever it is. He sends them on their way. Get an icy.

Yeah. Yeah. And street tuffs. Getting hassled by street tuffs, teen tuffs. Total 1980 street tuffs with their tennis bracelets and everything. James Spader starts spraying beer in their face. A lot of the shit like bandanas around the head kind of shit. So they start picking on the little guy. And we know already that the little guy is not that great at karate.

And he gets his ass kicked and they steal his bike. And the older boy comes out. And these are like grown men again. You know, this is another case of where like it's just like, he's like three feet taller than the kid and he's even older than the karate class kid there is one guy who's clearly like 25 years old

the guy's this tall as LeBron James shit is ridiculous and he's supposed to be like 16 and so like the older brother runs out and he's like oh god I gotta save your ass again and he starts karate fighting all of these dudes there's a lot of kick to the nuts in this scene and he's winning

he's taking out this entire town of Tufts meanwhile Limehouse Willie sneaks up on a little kid and kidnaps him. Wait, is there a kid unattended? Limehouse Willey is on his way. You got

to hand it to Limehouse Willie, man. He's a persistent criminal. He just blew up that old guy and hasn't been but five minutes. He's going to steal a child. Here's the thing about it, man. He sees his opportunities. He sees an opportunity. He takes it. Well, here's the thing. It's because I do agree with you that he knows his

opportunity and he's probably stolen kids before. Why doesn't he have a good old kid kidnapping? sack just draping over the kid and tie it up I mean it's a silly fucking moot

Livehouse Willie's the crampus Get in my sack You've been bad Just like hauls it over his shoulder And gets out of there It is kind of a bad

kidnapping Because he sneaks up behind him And he's like Taps him on the shoulder They're like I'm gonna kidnap you And he doesn't even like Cover his mouth up or anything

Like come here The brother hears him scream And then like Like he might as well be like Tell your father, Limehouse Willey did it. But this is the greatest part. The little kid now notices his brother's being kidnapped, runs over to the sedan that Limehouse Willie is shoving him in.

And Limehouse Willie sees him coming. Just jams the car door right in this kid's fucking face. Just splits his face open with, oh my God. He falls like a sack of potatoes. Mike from Minneapolis was not wrong when he said there was crazy child abuse in this movie. Remember when Jack Nicholson, when Roman Polansky cuts Jack Nicholson's nose open. Yeah.

There's about that level of blood here. That kid has a hilarious like band-aid on his nose. All over his fucking mouth and everything. It's funny you should mention that Chinatown scene because something similar to it comes out. Well, that is well. We will get to that as well. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, my 20s while being a lot of fun, a lot of the time, we're pretty rough.

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That is rocketmoney.com slash WHM. Once more, rocketmoney.com slash WHM which stands for We Hate Movies. I did want to bring up, but the seat in the restaurant, it struck me a little bit. Because, okay, let's say you, you, so he quit his job. But he's probably got a lot of savings, I imagine. If he's doing this whole trip and everything. He was making great money. So I imagine he-Bucco Buck.

They have some kind of nest egg to clean this restaurant up, get it into working order, have a kitchen, so on and so forth. Just to go out of business. It looks like they swept it once. Oh, it looks fucking filthy. And then put a poster up. It's filthy. Nobody would go here. It's disgusting.

disgusting. I wouldn't eat at this restaurant. And it's sushi, by the way. Yeah. Oh, it. Oh, ewe. Ew. Oh, dusty sushi. Oh, think about that. That's filthy. I mean, that's probably the one Houston sushi restaurant's name. Dusty sushi. Hey, y'all, welcome to dusty sushi. Don't worry. It's legit. Here's your broom. I just, there's like a lady. There's like some lady in there who's like, well, thank you very much. And welcome to the neighborhood. And I was like, What the fuck are you buying here? Enjoy tuberculosis. Get out of this restaurant. It's disgusting. This poor woman's like, maybe the neighborhood's finally coming around.

I've been living here for so long and it's been terrible. Oh, it's still under Limehouse's thumb, man. I remember when this restaurant used to be aborted up tobacconist. Now it's an unboarded, dusty, ridden, fucking disgusting sushi bar. Oh, man. So the kid, the kid runs in and he's bleeding all over the place and they're like, God, what happened now? And he's like, my older brother

was kidnapped. And this is all still, I think, because of the necklace. He's like, oh, that necklace has been taken. Yeah. Everything in this movie happens because this crooked cop steals the necklace. Yeah, so it's like, well, the old man didn't know what I was talking about, and I

burned him alive. So I guess the new landlord must have stolen. Yeah, they're like, oh, right, yeah, we totally forgot before we killed this old man a family moved in they must have did it sorry old man oh let's go kidnap their kids like what did you just talk to the man in one or two excuse me um I'm sorry to bother you but um I left something in that tobacco store 35 years ago I just look around for a little bit

it won't take but a minute it was really I mean it was important to me but what I don't understand at a couple points within the movie we cut to Limehouse meeting with his boss who's played by Nea Verdalas's father from my big fat Greek wedding I forget his name Yeah I don't know the character's name is Gus I don't need to know that because I hate that movie

But the thing is I kept on thinking like this was the prequel to my big fat Greek wedding Like after he did all this like slimy shit He opened the Greek restaurant in New York and that was that That was his relocations that then he could be Zorba. But what's hilarious to me is that they question the crooked cops

and they're like, look, we couldn't find the stuff. Where's the stuff? And they're like, well, we didn't do it. I'm like, they're terrible liars. Really, you think like, instead of just pressing the crooked people you work with, you are these people, really. Well, that's actually, that's a good point

because immediately after they're like, well, we don't. know. Limehouse Willie, the slimyest man in town is like, I don't believe you. Like, if anyone can spot a liar, it's Limehouse Willie. F.I. I don't get it. So he calls up, Limehouse Willie calls up the restaurant. And he's like, all right, I got your kid. You need to come to the docks at this time. And we'll exchange, you know, you get the kid. I get this necklace that I'm looking for. We'll just call it a day. And so the dude goes

And it's the first Like we've been seeing a couple times before this He has flashbacks of like It's kind of like him controlling his ninja rage It's the same shot Yeah Every time he has this little flashback It's the same shot of him just jousting

Yeah He's got his whole ninja get up on The first time it happens is when like he bumps into this dude On the street Like the dude clearly like runs into him And he's like watch where you're going asshole And you can see like in his mind He's like I could kill you at a

second but I would split this man in half if I want to but my kids are here yeah they can't know that I'm the black ninja so I got to keep this shit under wraps that happens to me whenever I bump into someone in New York I get the ninja flash you with a sword yeah I think about it I was doing it last night I don't go around this way often I was at a screening in midtown and I had to walk through Times Square or Super Bowl alley as they've been calling it really oh dude yes oh yeah Bull Allie. That's a real thing. Something similar to that. And I'm just, all these people just gawking, like taking pictures and whatnot.

And I was, the Ninja Rage was building up, man. I had to get out of there. I had to go a block out of the way just so the Ninja Rage wouldn't come out. Well, now you know what I'm dealing with since I work near Times Square. Well, you know, that's weird because most of my Ninja Rage came from working at Brian Park. It's something about that area, dude. It brings out the Ninja Rage and all of this. because it's the worst part of the city ever.

So the dude goes to the docks and whatnot. And they got the kid there and they take this dude and strap him up. And he's Limehouse Willey's like, where's this necklace? And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you concerned about jewelry? Are you sure those crooked people, which you said you didn't trust. Maybe they have it. Yeah, exactly.

Maybe the people that left the drugs didn't leave the necklace or didn't take, you know, like maybe. It's on their end. The simplest answer is usually the one. You know what I mean? Like, just, why don't you go tie the cop up and cut his chest open? Instead of torturing this dude, you don't know. He's just slicing this dude's chest open. And this is also where, right before he slices his chest, he puts a knife in his nostril

and is basically threatening to do the Chinatown scene. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a nice little homage. It is. But this dude doesn't flinch because he's the black ninja. And I think, doesn't he, like, he punches him in the face or something before, or, like, in the stomach or something? He works the ribs a little bit.

He, like, doesn't budge at all. He doesn't flinch. And then he's cutting him open, and the dude's just staring at him, like, I could do this all day. Yeah. And then he's like, okay, so this is not working. Obviously, I'm not going to get my necklace by cutting this guy up. This guy's a stone. If you don't give me that necklace, I'm going to light your kid up like a row.

Roman candle Takes out like he's gonna like burn this fucking It's like a pocket flight and thrower he's got on it. It's like a little butane torch or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is when the dude kind of lets some of the ninja stuff slip. He like super kicks a light ball but goes dark. And then he's instantly out of his out of his entanglements.

Yeah, yeah. And then him and the kid are just gone. Gone, dude, erased from existence. It's awesome. And Limehouse Willie at this point is like, oh, no. Finally, in Houston, there's a worthy adversary to Limehouse Willie. Well, it's all like, every shot you get of Limehouse, it's just him saying, ugh, fuck.

Like, it's all slubby, like, ugh. Fuck, the constantly defeated Limehouse Willie. But that's the thing is he's so goddamn brutal. He's never used to be. defeated because he's the guy that will automatically take it to the highest level possible. Yeah. And then when he, the one time it's like not

working out for him, oh, I'm supposed to be feel bad. And again, boy, is his face going to be red? If he had put the corrupt cup up in that thing, you wouldn't even have to put the knife into him. You just take the knife up to his eyeball. Oh yeah, that guy's going to fold. And he's spilling it all. That guy's going to fold

like nobody's business. But no, you had to go and pick the one, the super trained ninja. Yeah, you picked a super ninja to torture, bad move. This movie, by the way, could also be alternately titled Mr. Saito's series of unfortunate events. Because after, like, after

this doc scene, it's just horrible shit happening to this man and his family, such as cut to, he's just got the kid back from the hospital after this whole incident, and Limehouse's goons run down the wife and the other

kid with a truck. Yeah, they get hit by a goddamn truck. It's a pickup truck. A truck piloted by a man named Bubba. Wait, wait, way, way. A man named Bubba doesn't pilot a truck. He drives. He drives it straight into the hearts of this family, man.

These two go down. They go right for them, too. It's insane. And then, like, everybody, like, gathers around. Saito, like, runs over, and he's like, somebody call 911 and then these dudes have the audacity to roll up like hey everything all right here they drive around the block come back be like let's go see it the chaos we've made and the dude bubba is like smiling at him like yeah you like that where's mr limehouse's jewelry

motherfucker you got broken femur there yeah that was good work i just did i mean they are just run down our ninja hero tells the paramedics that don't meet him at the hospital hops in his car, hot pursuit after this pickup truck. This is, I mean, here's what's awesome about this movie. It's one insane sequence getting topped by another insane sequence immediately after it. There is no downtime in this movie whatsoever. And it's really strangely structured because we're not at the, quote unquote, inciting incident quite yet. Not yet.

But, like, yeah, your inciting incident is. maybe what 30 minutes before well the movie new america i guess but like the one that set the call to action well it's what you i think it's a difference between the the official call to action and what pushes this guy over the edge this is a this is a man being driven to the brink movie sometimes you're driven to ninja yeah sometimes you sometimes ninja drives you. It's how it goes. It's Soviet Russian

Ninja drives you. That's what my grandfather always told me. Makes perfect sense. So high speed pursuit of these of these fellas, right? Yeah. Then he gets through like an intersection. He runs out of the car.

Get in the flat bed of this pickup truck. He just like does a flip into it and then immediately kicks out the back window, shattered glass everywhere, pulls this dude, the passenger side dude, out of the of that seat and just starts beating him

oh it's beautiful and then what's awesome there's a hilarious murder here because Bubba while still driving the truck I do not know why the dude doesn't pull over starts he whips out a gun because it's Texas and he starts firing

and Saito takes the passenger and does a bullet shield with him it's amazing and then right when that happens he's like you know Saita's like whoop, does a backflip off of the truck? The stunts in this are sick.

And then, you know, the bullet shield is like still falling dead. Like, still, like, falling when the truck hits, like, an oil tanker or something and just blasts. Oh, man. It is moment two of Andrew Jubin laughs uncontrollably for three minutes. Because we get another charred dummy sitting in that past. Yes, there is a Bubba-shaped dummy. Bubba is cooking up. just goes of oh my god it's beautiful it's really i mean i thought about the lethal weapon thing

when they get tied up but this really like sealed it i was like oh this is great i mean this is like it's kind of funny because like baba does hit the brakes a little bit so it's on a full on slam so it's kind of like that it's in one of the death wish sequels where like i think it's the third one where the car famously taps the other car and they both blow up i believe that's the it's like the dumbest shit of all time right it's like a pinto joke or whatever yeah 70s uh references yeah like it's kind of like that like he's like oh no and it's like kind of a little bit of a fender bender but it just goes up speaking of roman candles uh and again by the way no fire department no just more charred corpses on the houston streets i forget have we

met the cops yet oh i think we no he goes to the cops after he goes to the hospital The wife is out. The kids in a coma. They're both still alive. So then, then he goes to the police where the guy basically tells him tough shit. Limehouse Willey's the toughest game in town. Well, he's like you have to, you would have to like testify or something like that. Right. And like, what? Like you're a police officer. So I just. Yeah. I mean, he's getting the rigmarole. Yes.

So he's like, all right, whatever. I'm just going to go to Limehouse's shitty boat party. party. And this is the shittiest of shitty boat parties I've ever seen. It's terrible. There's like some sea grade casino gambling going on. And it's like a big boat. I don't know what this is. It's like he rented like a conference room at this boat. I think they got like money in like the cruise line. Like, um, oh, what's like Enron. Oh, you think that's what's a little bit. I think that's what a near Vodalas's father. That's all I'm going to be able to call him. Enron. Cruise ships. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. That was in Texas, right? Enron? Yeah, but that part of that was in Texas. There you go. The smartest guys in the room. Yeah.

That documentary, Enron, the smartest guys in the room. Oh, were they? No. I thought they did bad things. Yeah, they did. And then the whole thing came crumbling down around them. Come on. You remember the late 90s?

So like that, Limehouse's operation starts to crumble down around him a little bit because Saito is loose on this boat now. Saito is now killing everybody. Snapping necks, right and left. Everybody's gone. It's awesome. And here's the other thing about it. He's not quite yet at full ninja.

No. This is like half ninja. This is just like I got crossed and I'm kind of upset because the police refused to help me. Right. So let's see what kind of mess I can get into. There is a very distinct Archer Rampage moment. And this is not it. No, it's not.

but this is crazy like he jumps on board the ship like he crawls up the side of it or something and he's just taken out seaman left and right he goes through like the engine room he's like killing all these dudes making his way up to the gambling deck yeah and limehouse like he's like having a drink looking out and he's like seeing like guns being shot and this dude taking flips all over the place and again it's a oh fuck yeah i'm gonna have to cancel my classy boat part where there were like these strippers and like you know like you always hear this line in movies too it's just like where'd you find this one there's a lot of that a lot of those guys the guys that would say where'd you find this one and then like the trashiest of texan strippers you can find and again most people look you know dressed up a little bit a lyme house again is wearing like shit that rodney dangerfield and caddy shack wouldn't wear yeah he's a goddily man through this whole movie. It's like all tucked in polos into like like like uh, like checked golf pants. Yeah, like a huge like over the coat. It's like a yeah, it's like a white leisure suit.

Yeah. It's like a leisure suit, I guess is what you would call it. I don't know. Like an actual button up shirt. Yeah, he looks disgusting. Gross. But yeah, you just you just look at him and you just feel fucking dirty. I'm like, take one look at that guy. I'm like, yeah, that guy's a child murdering scumbag probably. The believability is right there. So he has to like,

all of his flusies have to like leave the party like shit's getting real, you know, take a hike, the power. Yeah, Saito cuts the power.

And then like he does a real like, bitches leave situation. He pulls a Clarence Boddiker. He clears the room. Before he knows, before he knows it, man, like this ninja's on him.

Like it's, he comes out like, like Leon the professional here. Yeah. Like putting a. knife to his neck and being like, like you leave the Saito family alone. Yeah.

Or you will pray. Or you will pray for death. Yeah. That's the way we get the you will pray for death line. It's awesomely delivered too. Stay away from the site of family. They don't know anything about the Banate Negris. If you don't,

he promise you, you will pray for death. And he's kind of doing like a for the last time. I don't know what jewelry you're talking about, but I don't have a necklace. Look, this is a strong seven and a half. Do you really need to see the nine and a half ten range? FYI, you're pushing me, baby.

And then he vanishes like that. Yeah, so he should have just killed Limehouse here probably. Oh, absolutely. Because he's been killing all these other people. Why don't you just kill another? Yeah, he kills 30 men on the way to Lime House. house's door he lets a lime house off so light it's just like listen i know how america works i know i know that like in my scummy neighborhood we need the whatever mafia type of thing you're

doing yeah like it's it's like a homo stasis here yeah it's like everything you do serves a purpose in the long run i get it but for the last time i've never seen the necklace you're describing he's being very very understanding for a man who ran over his child oh yeah he's so kindly modulated and then what it what is immediately uh limhouse do he goes oh oh i'll show him slits his own wrist this is a level of crazy like you don't you don't see too often in motion pictures and he slid his wrists to be admitted to the hospital where the family is because he that he's like well that's the hospital I have they're not going to not admit me well you know what was weird is I thought this was going to be like a dirty hairy thing where like he he did it and he was going to say because so he just

murdered a bunch of his friends right and colleagues and you know just people he pays yeah um and i thought he was going to like oh so he did this to me and remember that great scene and dirty hairy where he pays the guy to beat the shit out of him oh yeah yeah yeah i really thought that's what this was going to be but no it no it's it's more sadistic than that he fucking slits his own risk to get in because I think it's a thing too where he's like well I'm not going to get in visiting visiting hours are long over I don't know anyone in the hospital

but as we find out he's a master of disguises so I don't know this gets a little silly I don't know how he couldn't just go in there I don't know it looked like a doctor yeah I mean it is a little but it's like it's not crazy enough Lam has to go to the brutal extreme for everything

so he's like laying in this hospital bed they think it was like an attempted suicide some like doctor comes in and he's like oh i can't sleep i need could you give me a shot you know like sort of sleep and the doctor's like oh yeah sure they're making a little small talk and then limhouse just grabs the syringe out of his arm and shoves it into his own neck makes the doctor go to sleep and then steals his clothes a la indiana jones yeah and then and now he's got free rein in this hospital and there's police and there's security around no one recognizes the

a number one gangster in town. Yeah, totally. No one doesn't think like, hey, I don't know. Wait, is there a new doctor? No,

no, no. Just go with it. He's so big that the cops don't want to go after him. Nobody knows what he looks like. Yeah, nobody knows what he looks like.

Well, it's interesting because Limehouse, you know, he's a very, he's a very curious fella. He's got three loves in this world. His first love is gaudy expensive jewelry. that's number one because he wants this necklace number two yeah he loves killing people

kids mothers whatever loves it three loves getting into costume yeah that's what it is so in in this instance it's all of his three loves right he's looking for the jewelry he's about to go kill some people and he's in costume i mean what more do you want i guess he did need to pick up after all his friends got shot and you know had their next snap so hey you know what big day for me i'm going to go kill a bunch of people in hospital while wearing a police uniform so we get to a scene that's so extreme there's an uncensored version of it on the internet this is this is what we're dealing with you can find the uncensored portion on youtube and it's pretty ridiculous so pretty sleazy lime house duct tapes mrs sito's mouth shut yeah and then now

there's two different realities here In the movie, in the full movie, let's go, let's go with theatrical cut. In the movie, yeah. Let's go to the direct of video cut. It essentially just cuts, right? Right after. Well, it cuts to him, like, washing up, and he's washing blood off of his face. So you're like, oh, I guess he killed her.

Yeah. And then, like, cops are coming for it. Right. And now in the uncut version, he duct-tapes her face, and then he starts punching her face. Yep. And then she's unconscious. And then he rapes her. and then he stabs it to that.

With a screwdriver. This is how brutal this villain gets. It's insane. Hey, man, we're square. Let's, let's, you know, I'll leave you to yours. You leave mine to mine. Whoa, I'll get you. And then he does this.

It is overkill, man. Like, Limehouse, dude's got some hate in his heart. A lot of, he's got a lot of problems. I would like a prequel, exploring his childhood. it's probably the origin story of the Joker you want to know how I got these scars says Limehouse Willie I mean he's more like he's really like a Sean Connery

in the Untouchable is like they kill one of yours you put two of theirs in the morgue Yeah yeah it's one of those kind of It's like fourth greatest love revenge It's like an alternate reality evil Sean Connery of that world Like like he had gone like He had met Nucky Thompson or something If he was working for Capone

so because his blood lost you know cannot be quenched man he's going to go kill that kid so he goes up he's like pushing a cart and uh this is after i believe he's no he hasn't killed police officers yet he's he pushed the cart up he's like time for the kid to get his shot and this cop's like all right well i'm not going to check this at all come right in and like he goes to kill the kid and then the cops find the body and they cut back to the woman and they're like eyeballs are wide open you know she's clearly

dead and uh they're like oh fuck the other one and like they race down the hall and they come into the room and then Limehouse just murders these due police officers cut to him walking out of the room dressed as a police officer the costume ball

continues he kills too but he disarms like six yeah there's like six guys on him and Limehouse just goes right through it he is like the joker he's a super villain because there's no way a gangster would be able to take down six cops or whatever it's like it's like that whole calculated Hannibal lector thing you know towards the end of silence when he breaks out it's that like he's got he's probably got like shit hidden in his mouth he's wearing someone's face but here's the thing anthony hopkins is science of lamb pretty trim this guy's got a beer

gut this thing is hanging over he ain't doing too much of this exercise without a big yeah you know you want to fit as many costumes as possible helps to be as thin as possible yeah exactly you got how do all these costumes fit him so well i mean he went on the ralph cramden diet the shit was not good well maybe that's why he kills both of those cops like he kills the first one and he's like oh that's not going to fit better kill this fatter cop he's holding up the tag just like checking before I kill you

that's a double XL right yeah why 30 long there yeah okay I kill you yeah that works I'll slaughter you running around looking for a size 52 pants

so then Saito comes back to the hospital and it's a real like you've got to be kidding me what happened I was gone for an hour and a half. So he goes, and he's like, I'm taking my kid out of this hospital. And the detective in charge is like, now, now, now, you know, Mr. Saito, don't do anything too irrational.

And he's like, my wife is dead. You people are the worst police department ever. He chews out, Pat Hingle. Like, really bad. Yeah, this, dude, this detective is a real Pat Hingle situation. Like, well, whoops, I couldn't do it. Well, I don't know anything about Mr. Limehouse, Mr. Saito. If I did, don't you think he'd be behind bars by now?

My soup is cold. I love this. This is really happening. Okay, so Limehouse is the Joker. This guy's, this guy's Tad Hinkle, Commissioner Gordon. And now Saito was going to be a top-notch executive. He's goddamn Bruce Wayne. And then he's got the ninja secret life.

Yep. Oh, my. Lord. I know. And now he becomes the most murderous Batman that ever Batmaned before. So we go to his bat cave. Which is, it's like a warehouse

that this old man also used to own. Like this guy garbage there. This guy got taken for a ride. There's no way he got a fair amount of money for an apartment, a cigar store, a restaurant, and now this warehouse by the dock,

The land baron of Hooverville. So, like, okay, so he's a ninja, all right, but, you know, he doesn't have his ninja stuff. So what does he do? He builds a sword. He forges a katana from garbage that's in this warehouse. That's, you have to, like, fold the metal like a hundred times at least. It's insane. And so the one kid's still in the coma, the little kid's like, all right, I'll help you, like, prep to be.

Ninja and take a listen to this tune we get over this montage where the heart of a warrior can never be revealed back to the shadow back to the shadow It is the only time in where a song like this would be appropriate in a preparing to go on a ninja rampage montage. It's so doesn't fit. It's not even funny. But it's an awesome ass 80s song. I love it. I mean,

Back to the Shadows. It's like all throughout this movie and it's fantastic. Yeah, I mean, they had money for one song, so they're using it where they can, you know. It's at the beginning. It's here. It's at the end. It's great. Pretty hilarious, not to go, you know, too off track, but the opening credits this thing.

Oh, these are stupid. Where it's just him in the sun, like, practicing their moves and, like, being cute with Back to the Shad. Yeah. It's too much. It reminds me of James Bond. It is kind of like a Bond type opening. Oh, man, Adele does Back to the Shadows, like, for like a cover record. Yeah, I can do that.

Oh, man, somebody write Adele and send her an MP3 of this tune, huh? See if we can get that going. Dear Adele, have a listen to this. Yeah, everyone tweet that at her and ask her to cover it because I want us to be credited for that. When she wins another a million Grammys? Yeah. There'll be an origin story right here, right on this program. So this guy goes through all sorts of training and it's like mentally preparing.

He like breaks a pearl necklace, you know, and all the things go flying. I don't know what's, I don't know. That's just another bad. man reference but he's making popcorn in the flames he just goes

to he just goes to an opera just to freak himself out oh whoa bats oh I'm no longer going to be afraid of the shadows I guess I'll go back to them

that's also because he's getting over the death of his brother quote unquote brother oh yeah so it does have a lot of it's badass It's bat-esque, yes. There's parallels.

So at this point, by the way, for some reason, Limehouse is like, you know what? I think that fucking cop did steal this necklace after all. Boy, is my face red. And because, like, also, by the way, Saito has presented information. He, like, he does a little bit of, he does a little bit of detective work in the tobacco shop, too.

He goes in. And he sees, like, the dudes, like, he got his jacket caught on a nail. So there's some fabric. So he's like, oh, a gray suit. And then he looks and he's like, oh, this guy's clearly left-handed. This is Batman. Yes. And he finds hairs, too.

He's got forensic evidence. The world's greatest detective. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, it's awesome. So, like, he's been spoutish. Mom, there's a ninja Batman. Mom, Batman is a real ninja.

He's played by a Japanese. guy. He could be the slime house. Turn it off. Read a book, fatty. So he's like, you know what? Saito had some pretty compelling evidence against this cop. I better go kill him.

Cut to this restaurant and it's like the cop has the necklace and he's selling it to another guy just a rando business man. They do the old like, I'm going to slide this briefcase with my foot over to you in this restaurant, this, this TGI Fridays that we're eating in here.

Actually, it kind of looks like a ground round, to be completely honest. I thought a Ponderosa was a Ponderosa steakhouse, man. So they're having a nice, you know, a little crime dinner here. And this dude walks in and he's just like, his line is something like, see ya, Charlie. And he pulls out this automatic weapon and kills the entire restaurant. It's like a Gestapo gun It's crazy town I mean he first kills the shit out of the cop

But Ben proceeds to murder Everybody in this restaurant Shoots up a bunch of like It's one of those restaurants with like the open air kitchen So you can see what's going on while you eat Just fires wildly into that Breaking all these plates and whatnot No witness he hissed off

He just found out that he turned on this killing machine Yeah for nothing Yep for nothing He's activated the terminator and there is no off switch. You could have just killed this fat fuck right here and this would have all been over. It would have taken two seconds.

Just kill this cop. Get on with your life. Oh, man. So now we start. Full Ninja. It's full Ninja. We're at 100%. And also, you don't often see this.

But how often do you see a guy in a shredder mask that isn't shredder? Throwing down. It's awesome. That's what he puts on his. His ninja mask is like the shredder helmet. Yeah, he's got like armor, like the whole thing. I'm sure there's a real word for it, by the way.

I'm sorry for being. Yeah, we're, you know, it's, we're being a little culturally ignorant, but what are you going to do? So, yeah, he goes on a full scale 100% grade A prime cut ninja rampage. Slaughter. Oh, oh. It's beautiful. Oh, it's great. Oh, it's great.

Incredible massacre. He's got everything, man. everything he brings everything lays waste okay you get like so he's like start storming this compound it's a compound it kind of looks like where uh forest gump's mother lives

storming the gump compounds and he starts off with some good old fashion bow and arrows arrows to the face arrows to the throat yeah right through the throat out the back see you later dude gets fucking Kevin Bacon

A couple stars to the skull Oh yeah Then the ninja star right through the skull A guy gets a ninja star Right in the forehead like Thunk It's incredible These guys do not stand a chance

Against this one man army It's awesome You know most superheroes are like I'm gonna live once so he can tell the tale This guy doesn't believe that at all Well no because the whole thing by the way Is the dad says to him before he leaves Japan He's like and by the way

No one can ever find out that you're a ninja like you it's like a very secret yeah he's like this is this is a secret that's been kept for for for centuries death is going to come to light and we're really going to be fucked yeah let's get found out this dojo's getting shut down tooth sweet I can't have them coming asking questions about Kevin Kevin is long I can't have them looking through my computer if anybody it's a little before that I guess it's like the idea of a ninja named Kevin. Sense

Kevin. And his disciple, Roy. And this is Master Brad. So he's going through, just laying waste, just salt in the earth with these people. It's awesome. And then they actually do start, you know, they start shooting

at him. A lot of these guys are like stormtroopers can't hit him. But when they actually do, they shoot him a few times. Does that stop him? I don't fucking think so. Well, he's got, like, a little bit of ninja armor on. So, like, one goes off the helmet, you know, his arms, his chest pads. Yeah, I think he takes at least one. He does.

He gets shot in the thigh. Right. Yeah, there you go. But he's so he's so hepped up on. It doesn't matter. He's going full ninja. He doesn't even feel it. It doesn't give a shit.

I mean, he had to, I think he did some PCP. I mean, I guess the honor to. I'm sure the honor is pretty, you know, gitsy jazz. It's like 95% honor, five percent bath salts. Yeah, yeah. a good snort or two and then you go and do just a super rampage yeah i mean it was laying all over his tobacco shop yeah that quote unquote tobacco shop there was some remnants of what they were dealing over there yeah that definitely was so he gets to like the boss whatever this

fellow's name is but the dude from my big back greek wedding and he's like now now hold on a second mr sidle we can work work out some sort of agreement here and he saito pulls out this gigantic I don't even know what you would call it. It looks like, it's like a razor sharp tire iron. Yeah, it's like, it's like this weird spike thing that like it rolls together to become like one, like a giant ninja star, but different with like it's like longer and spikier. Yeah, like he pulls it out of his pocket and shakes it like a butterfly knife and it turns into this huge weapon. Usually we would refer to this when we were talking about a gun, but it is a god killer. Yeah, no, this thing is a god killer.

he chucks it at this dude like a frisbee and nails this fat ass to the door because it hits him in the throat and this guy's flopping on the door like a dead fish and Saito's just watching him like Michael Myers like crook in his head like look at that man look at the work I'm doing they watch the soul leave be stragged right down to hell exactly just like Willie Lopez. You're dead, Willie. You're dead, Limehouse, Willie.

That's a ghost reference. Ghost. Patrick Swayze Stars and Ghost. With Whoopi Goldberg and Demi Moore. And some other guy.

And Tony Goldblen as Willie. No, Tony Goldwell is not Willie. Yes, you're correct. And with Tony Gold as not Willie. As exactly not Willie. And Vincent Chevelli as the angry subway ghost. Great, great role, too.

He was great, man. I love Vincent Chevelli, R-I-P-D. So we finally get the Limehouse. Oh, man. And, whoa, man. It's like, he pulls a shovel on it. It's almost too much for one movie. Almost.

Yeah. This fight scene, and this is ridiculous, right? Because we already mentioned he's a fat old man. He looks like John Wayne after John. John Wayne should have stopped making movies. Right. You know what I mean? The radiation from the Conqueror is setting in.

It's really setting in. I mean, this guy's just a fat 60-year-old man. Yeah. And all of a sudden, he becomes almost an equal to Saito. A colossus. Yeah. An unstoppable colossus. I don't know where this shit comes from.

I think it's because, I mean, this dude wrote the script. So he's like, and then my character becomes a superhuman fighting machine. well they cut out all my sex scenes I'm going to definitely have a long fight scene this death has got to come with some effort so we see we see this Limebusters is thrown around a shovel

he's got a sword like is the sword somehow breaks in half a little bit there is an accidental axing yeah in this movie like it's hilarious like Limehouse his weapons are escalating you know he starts with the shovel

you know that gets broken in. He finds like a knife or a sword or something that goes away. He finds an axe and he starts swinging it around and some other hoodlum comes up and just gets axed like in the neck by his boss. And Limehouse

doesn't even skip a beat. Let's just move on to the next weapon. Oh, what's that I see on the floor? A chainsaw? Well, why not? And all of a sudden it's an evil dead fight. Well, the axing is another classic. Oh, fuck. And just like,

I killed Roy. Fuck. Okay. Chainsaw. What is going on in this building to have all that stuff? It's like sort of a lumber mill, but it also has a creepy ass room full of mannequins. And this is like Stanley Kubrick's Killers Kiss. I was going to say clout.

Oh, yeah. But Killers Kiss. It's like there's the, there's the, it's the creepy mannequin factor. Right. Which had like impossible geography, if you ever read up on that movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. And this place has impossible internal geography as well. And it's so crazy because it's like every other like thug in this movie is instantly dispatched by Saito, no problem.

And all of a sudden he starts having issues with Limehouse who he, I get, here's what it is. Maybe throughout the course of this motion picture all the people that he's been killing, he's been taking their essence. Right? And he becomes stronger with every soul that he takes. Like the one with Jet Lee. yes exactly stay tuned probably that he kills

he becomes bigger oh that's a definite stay tuned gently throws a motorcycle at himself it's ridiculous it's the dumbest shit you'll ever see

but yeah like maybe he's just he's like he's like drunk on all these souls right and these souls are giving all this power

and all of a sudden he's like drunk on souls that's where that beer belly came from the soul belly oh man

I've been drinking like six souls a night it's really starting to I went down to the convenience store, tried to grab a kid, have some kid's soul. Dad, dad, I think you have a soul problem. I really do.

You can quit whenever I want. You know, you say that every December, and it never happens. I work hard, so when I get home, I'm entitled to drink a couple souls, watch a little TV. Did your mother put you up to this? I bet your mother told you to say something. I said her to Aunt Betsy. So they keep fighting It's a chainsaw battle

There's a chainsaw battle for a little bit Yeah all these mannequins are just all over the place And then all of a sudden you're like Hmm What's that I spy in the background of this mannequin factory Oh it's a huge like conveyor belt saw And there's like lumber also being processed There's also like an engine room somewhere in here

I don't know what they're making in this factory but it's terrifying. I guess they're making mannequins out of wood. Yeah, right? I guess that's what's going on. I have no idea.

And, and... It's a heavy sanded job for some fella. We might as well get to it because we can't describe a fight blow by blow. No,

no. Saito pulls out this like, it's sort of like, um, like nonchucks, but with giant knives on the end of it. Yeah, it's pretty sick.

And like he just nails, um, Limehouse on, to this log. He like crucifies him. Yeah. So now he's just strapped down to this giant piece of lumber that's headed for the saw. Now we should say though, because it's bad ass. Prior to the crucifixion, oh man, there's a crucifixion in this movie. I love it. I love it. Prior to the crucifixion, Limehouse has Saito on the conveyor belt. And Saito throws a ninja star at the, like, power console. Right. And, and. jams the button so it stops and he can get off so cut back to limehouse crucified on this big california redwood and he's like no just just kill me just kill me just kill me just kill me please kill me cyto plucks the star from the power grid as if picking a flower from the ground yeah because limehouse knows what's up he's like you're going to saw me in half right now yeah i'd rather you just

kill me just kill me And he told him, told him, you would pray for death. Yep. And he's, he's there. He's crucified like the Lord. You know, maybe you could just let that one necklace go. Just, just, you know, you win some, you lose some. You lose a necklace.

Don't take it to this length. You're going to get sawed math. No, exactly. Like, you also had all that Coke to pedal. That would have got you a pretty penny. Yeah, and this is a pretty nice pad. And I assume you have a nice one, too. isn't it enough man you're i mean if you're okay enough financially that you can throw all these

sleazy boat parties losing one little necklace isn't going to do you any harm you rented out an entire cruise liner yeah you don't think you might just want to let this one slide so he plucks it and walks away and this dude just gets sawed in half you don't see it or anything this movie isn't really big on the gore but i think that's another cut scene that just hasn't been found to YouTube. Oh, you think so? I mean, it's a pretty sudden cut. If anyone has unrated Pray for Death, please, my God, send us a link.

Or, yeah, write us in, we all hate movies at g-mod.com. Let us know, is there a dummy that gets sudden? Because, listen, I need some closure. Like, I'm not like foaming at the mouth to see some gore. I just feel like this character, this Limehouse Willie, has done so

much heinous atrocity. I need to see, I need proof that he's gone. This is the worst one of the most brutal villains I've ever seen. He's the Joker, man. They probably did use a villain. They probably did use a dummy.

And what they did is right when he hits the buzzsaw first in the flames. I would love that the tree just catches on fire and he just burns and gets sawed in a house. What's happening? How is this possible? I would love

that to be a villain's last words. How is this possible? Dead. And by the way, much like in keeping with this Batman storyline, right? And I was getting a little worried because while the fight's going on, you're like, yeah, you got to fucking kill him. And he's been having some flashbacks. And it's like, you know, oh, we don't, you know, we shouldn't kill. That makes me as bad as he does.

And I'm like, God damn it, movie. God damn it, if you wuss out at the last second, he doesn't kill this guy, I'm going to be seriously pissed. And it's much like the Batman narrative, right? Like, shouldn't be taking lives, man. an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind like this is not going to work out and then when I just saw him plucked that ninja star I started cheering

and it's much like a Batman movie like Batman is always killing people he preaches to not kill people and then he practices to totally kill people whenever possible at all times as horribly as you can I kind of wish they had the cutaway like the cutaway has been the same shot

of him jabbing just that stupid jabbing jabbs shot but I wish that right before he takes the star out It just needs to cut away. It's Pat Hingle. He's like, no, there's no justice anywhere. Let's just fucking kill. Buzz saw this guy to death.

So this, the, our pet hangle comes back and's like, you know, like later on, I think he's like attending the funeral of his wife. Yeah, they're at the graveside and the kids are like, hey, so we're going back to Japan where horrible shit didn't happen to us every day. And he's like, no, we're going to stay here because we're going to be close to your mother. And that's what she wanted. Yeah, she would want to. us to keep up this disgusting dirty restaurant and plus the riddler's about

got a new guy on the street calls himself the riddler Pat Engle fucking hands of a business card with a question mark on it end of pray for death set up pray for death too that's basically what happens because the police department is like officially just totally cool with this ninja

murdering everywhere right but it's like listen I got it the least I could do is say that I don't approve of what's going on. And he's like, he's like, so, Mr. Saito, um, you're pretty sure that there haven't been any ninjas around, right? And he, and the kids like, ninjas don't exist, stupid white man. What a, what a change. He knows, he knows what to say when the, the, the whites are around. It also, the cop also goes, uh, some type of, uh, he was wearing some type of oriental costume.

Oh, yeah, of course. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? God damn it. There is a lot of offensive Asian derogatory terms just getting tossed all around this movie by characters that are supposed to be bad and good, by the way. You don't get to use the word slanty

should never be in a movie like this ever, period. It's heinous. Yeah, well, you know, he's got some hate in his heart. He does, as I specified, he's got a lot. he's got a lot of hate in his well he's got a bazillion souls in his heart so I mean he's drunk out all those souls

he has to case of soul ice before he came over oh man he was puking up souls all morning alternative movie he doesn't get killed he does go away to jail and by some coincidence he gets let out in 10 years

and it's affliction and it's just him and his father dealing with their soul addiction in the middle of you know wintry Michigan or some shit like that sissy space sex trying to get him back on the fucking wagon round the right trail here

but he can't help it all the souls well I was a big fan of pray for death one but pray for death too took some odd turns so yeah like the dude the dude basically says like well if you see your ninja friend tell him I don't want to see

him around here anymore and then like Saito's like yeah okay I'll tell him and the cop hands him a ninja star and And Saito bows to him. Yeah, it's just the biggest winkety wink wink of all time.

And you know, you know, this this, this cop is like so, oh, oh, we're bowing now. Oh, great. Oh, I just wanted to do this. Oh, whoa, whoa, how fun. Do I lead with my right or no, honey, I was cultured today at work. Oh, man, you beat me to the joke. Honey, I bowed to an Asian man today at work. Oh, you're going to have to tell me all about it.

Honey, I tackled a loafer today at work. Oh, well, then it's a roast for you then tonight. And I mean, my God, that's the end of an amazing movie. It was a blast. It's fucking awesome. So where it's going to be a recommend all around, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

This is a hard recommend. This movie is in full on YouTube. Check it out. You can search right, pray for death, 1985 full. Enter. Click on link. enjoy for or you could be responsible and buy it somewhere where where pray for death are for sale that's called eBay by the way yeah yeah eBay or the Amazon used market for sure

but this much like Jim Cata by the way I was like I wish this was on Blu-ray I'd buy I'd buy a double disc of Jim Cata and pray for death I mean give Blue Underground a few more you know months I almost want to write him a letter. I want to write Tim League of Alamo Draft House, man. Be like, hey, here's your next Draft House films re-release. Pray for death. It's amazing. Well, it's a recommend.

It's not a wake and fright recommend. No, no, but what could be a wake and fright recommend? But, I mean, this is a fun movie. And, you know, it's not often on this program. We get to tackle something that we enjoy. And also, this is another real. great thing about listener request month right it's like yeah between the four of us we've seen a ton of movies because that's all we do because we're big losers but like that's what's amazing

about movies there's always going to be stuff you've never heard of that someone else and these request months bring out some amazing stuff you know what was like food fight invisible child hider in the house all all came from from stranger yeah from from from recommendations from listeners and we figured my god this movie's so great it's going to be a fun way to kick off the month and oh i want to watch it again watch that band saw death again

oh no why is this happening god it seems impossible doesn't it this is so unlikely oh when i woke up this morning did not think i'd see that on my TV that is

pray for death from 1985, directed by Gordon Hessler. Thank you very much, Mike from Minneapolis. If you want more information about We Hate Movies, check out our website, WHM Podcast.com. You can like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM Podcast. If you have the unrated cut of this film, write in We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. And write urgent in the subject line. Click the little red exclamation mark so I know that you mean business. because you've got what I want. High importance.

We all hate movies at gmail.com. Check out Eric's program, Blame It on Outerspace, tackling conspiracy theories in a comedic fashion every other week. Blame it on Outerspace.com at Blame It on Spacepad on Twitter, Facebook.com slash Blame it on Outerspace. Both of these fine shows are available on places like iTunes and Stitcher Radio. Wherever you get the shows, man, just give a little rate and review. It helps the profile of our show.

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