We Hate Movies - S4 Ep153: The Karate Kid Part III

Episode Date: April 15, 2014

In this week's episode, the gang enters the Under 18 All-Valley tournament with Ralph Macchio and Thomas Ian Griffith in the ridiculous sequel, The Karate Kid Part III! Why did the filmmakers insist on making all the stories play back-to-back? How is John Kreese not in prison for joking out kids in parking lots? And what is with that platonic relationship crap, LaRusso? PLUS: Terry Silver takes over the crown as Greatest WHM Villain! The Karate Kid Part III, stars Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Robyn Lively, Martin Kove, Sean Kanan and Thomas Ian Griffith; directed by John Avildsen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Zedek. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. If you're new to the program, you're catching us at a time where we're doing a sequel,

which we do every now and again. This is the second sequel to a little film known as Karate Kid or The Karate Kid. It's the. It's The Karate Kid. And this is The Karate Kid, Part 3. I always thought it was the Karate Kid. No, that's a common misconception. Oh, it's the Karate Kid.

Oh, no, it's the Karate Kid. Look out. You know what? I bet Ralph Machi has gotten that at bars and has been kind of pissed off. Oh, after you, the Karate Kid. It's like being called the coward Robert Ford. They're making all sorts of songs about him. It is directed by franchise director John Avildson.

I don't think he came back for next Karate Kid. I'll fact check it, but he at least directed the original trilogy. Yeah, I mean, the original trilogy does have a very consistent long tone. Yeah. All these movies are all two hours. So long. Somehow they're all two hours. I don't know.

I don't get it. I know what those movies are. And like my girlfriend's got a very famous story where she had her little cousin was like, oh, man, I love the karate kid. I can't wait to watch it? They watched it together. It's going on. And the girls like, can we just fast forward to the part what they do? Like they literally just went to the end of the karate tournament.

Can we fast forward to the part where they do karate? Seriously. There's so much dicking around in all three of these movies. Well, you know, that's part of the charm. Oh, yeah? And that's where the heart is. And I think everyone needs to get that. The karate is more fulfilling when you have some, you know...

When you have some, like, other stuff that's going on? When you see Mr. Miyagi, like, fixing the plumbing of some shitty apartment at the start of the first movie, you know, you got to build to it. You got to build to it. In that second one, we are traveling Japan. We are looking around, looking at all the sites, meeting all sorts of interesting people. Yeah. It's like a vice documentary. Man, how about that's a sequel? They go to North Korea.

Oh, with the karate kid? Yeah. Nice. He goes to some sort of fighting tournament in North Korea. Sign me up. You know what? They're put to the sword anyway. Yeah, no, they're totally executed. I feel like Daniel Son is one of those like really tough guys, white guys that gets a friend with one minority and thinks he's cool with everybody. Oh, yeah. One of those dudes. So he's like, oh, yeah. all my friends and all you know going up to everybody and I was like

get the fuck out of here white guy and it's like what I do crap look at my cool pantana the one the one big slip that these movies make is making the movies all pick up where the last

one left off seconds after the last one it is because by the time we get to part three it's supposed to still be like 1984 or whatever this is 1990 At 1989, like, it's been a wild ride for Ralph Machio, man. He's pushing 40 at this point, and he's just a little paunchier than he was when he got on the plane to leave Okinawa.

Yeah, he's still wearing those skinny jeans, though, and that's not a good idea. Like, there's skinny jeans that kind of just look like mom jeans on a guy. I thought he was like, I thought he was like late, I thought he was like late 20s or early 30 in this or something. He's in his, I think it's like, yeah, like, I think he's like 31 or something like that. Yeah, but he was closer to like 35 years old. Keep in mind, he's playing a 17-year-old. I mean, yeah, either way, you slice it. It's horrible.

I got to look it up, though. It's going to drive me crazy. Well, I could tell you right off the bat, Ralph Macho was born in 1961. No, right off the bat. Eric has that information at his fingertips. My brain tips. All right. So, I mean, then.

So 61 to 20. Yeah. All right. I mean, he at least looks like he's in his mid 30s, though, man. That's the weird thing when you think about, like, you think about this or like Beverly Hills 902, I know which I'm always thinking about. Like, could you imagine as we're all 30 years old in this room, like going up, walking up to a set and then like having this go on set and be like, oh man, I got this math test. I'm so worried about it. I'm just in high school now. Yeah, like you get to set and they're like, all right, Andrew. Like, here's your backpack that your character Corey has. has to wear. I'd be like, what? I haven't worn a backpack in fucking ten years. Man, if we were in a high school

drama, it'd be called Lunch Room. Yeah, it all, every episode starts and ends in the lunchroom. We can branch out and do other things while that's happening like throughout the episode,

it always starts and ends at the lunchroom. And I'm always eating French bread pizza. French bread pizza and a shitty hamburger with one slice of individually packaged American cheese on it. Hash it out your problems with sloppy Joe's. I'm kind of pitching this to you

executive listening. I can play a 16 year old. Hey, do you hear this kid giving an idea on we hate movies? Yeah, it sounds terrible. Let's move on. Why were you listening? I don't know. I think we'd be a great fit for the CW. Oh, man. Dude, I would love

to have a show. Dude, if we had lunchroom follow the carry diaries, like if the carry diaries were our lead-in, Can you imagine the numbers? It would be fantastic. And honestly, more sexual intrigue on the lunchroom. It would be the three of us as teens. And then Chris Cabin is the principal.

The put-upon principle. And it would be great because we all totally look the same age. And it's just like, here's principal cabin. And he's just this dude who looks exactly like us. Bravo idea we just came up with. So the movie starts, which you want. Oh, yeah, Karate Kid 3. What you want in a sequel is previously on The Karate Kid.

It's just, it's four minutes of the, of really, it's mostly the first movie. Is there any second movie? No, it's pretty much all the first movie because it's, it's a movie that's tied directly to, you know, the villain of the first movie getting revenge. So they really have to. It's like it's sort of like Razzal Ghoul's plan coming to fruition through Bain and Talia. Yeah, yeah, exactly right. It's like, forget all that shit that happened in Okinawa. Yeah, it was fun, and he almost got laid and whatever.

But it is back to suburban California, man. Oh, man, he was fucking really close. Mm-hmm. He actually went in his pants a few times. Oh, my fucking. I'm the tight bob jeez. More conversation like that on the lunchroom, 630s and the CW. 630s?

That were before prime time? I don't know when the Kerry Diaries air. I don't know. That's like cartoons for kids now, right? Right? That's a primetime show. Sex and Filth. It's prime time? Carrie Diaries? Yeah. Yeah, that's like post-8 o'clock. Does the C.W. exist in prime time? Yeah, dude, that's where they got Arrow and Beauty and the Beast.

Oh, shit. And the, the originals is on there? What is that? That's another vampire show. Jesus Christ with the vampires. Can we just already with the vampires? No. So, no, we can't. So the sniveling CW executive. In case your wife. No, I apologize, sir. You're doing God's work.

We want to show. In the second movie, the second movie begins with that hilarious scene where John Crease, the Crooked Dojo Master, the Cobra Kai, is trying to kill William Zabke in the parking lot. Like, he's just like, hey, you kid, you totally just cost me $800. I'm going to choke the life out of you. You're making me eat that registration fee. it's a there's so much of this this movie and all of this series except for the second one just kind of a little a little off brand mm-hmm revolves around regional karate

tournaments one regional karate tournament it's just the all valley man specific to the san fernando valley valley outside of los angeles like it's right it's that specific it is such a location specific place for the stories to be told yeah we're not going to like the state competition or whatever. How about nationals? In presumably Washington, D.C. Can you imagine karate fighting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial?

Yes, please. And at Nationals, he meets Chris Penn with a cowboy hat from best to the best. A little crossover, get those two series together. Travis Bigg. Not Pickle, but Travis. Travis Bickle's there and he shoots up the tournament. It's Travis

Brickley. There we go. I got it. I got it. And so basically John Crease, I don't know the actress name, he's just John Crease. He's choking the shit out of William Zabka. And Miyagi's like, hey man, why are you lighting the fuck up? Like, if you want my cheap trophy, you can have it. Yeah, you know what? Here's this trophy.

I will go to the store that makes trophies for karate tournaments and buy another one for $60. I'll even throw in the other $6 for them to fucking put Daniel Son's name on it. You can have this one that just says all Valley champion. 1984 you shallow fuck john crease you loser and then the first of many racist slurs against japanese people and i can't even i'm not going to say it it's it's one of the bad ones it's one of the worst ones i think it might be the worst it's a thing you go skiing down yeah there you go oh because i'm a mountain get out of you you mountain you fucking mountain he's going to kill you little mountain and he's like you know

Miyaki's like bring it all you fucking fat white guy fat fucking John Kreece man I don't understand how John Kreece gets to be the master of the Cobra Kai dojo he is consistently out of shape through all of these movies no wonder they always lose by the way the actor I forget his name but he's

supposedly notorious Hollywood a hole I'm serious look side note for what reason the Bill Hater episode of Mark Merrin's podcast I listen to it yeah dude man there's a story about it oh maybe i didn't listen to it carefully

yeah it's kind of the way i skim through wTFs it's it's some it's some like horrific humiliation he puts bill hater through are you serious oh what it now i hate this guy even more yeah did he choke about in the park a lot like hey heyter you didn't make that joke right hater you fucking mountain

you're a whole bunch of mountains shitty fucking mountains the whole lot of you know i could have been on saturday night live oh you couldn't fucking kill you you barely know karate So basically he like

In really bad karate form He's like I'm gonna kill you And he puts both his fists Through car windows Bleeding up the storm Like Miyagi like It's like I'm gonna fucking kill you right now man

And he's like Oh man here it comes And he honks his nose And it's cute And actually that's the end of Karate Kid too Is Daniel says like Live and die man

Live and die And you know He honks the guy's nose Because the guy, the guy definitely wishes for death at the end of Karate Kid, too. He totally does. But, you know, yet, Mr. Miyagi, as we learned already in the next Karate Kid, he loves honking noses. That's his little gag, which he fucking doesn't do in this movie, by the way. No, well, I mean, he doesn't, it's in the movie proper, this scene.

So it's kind of in this movie. Yeah, you're right, because we're doing this last time on the Karate Kid. And, you know, we follow, instead of going with Daniel Son and Mr. Miyagi to Japan for their fun adventure, we just watch John Crease's life go down the toilet. Like, man, this guy bottoms right out. Oh, he's like living in like, he's at Skid Row. Yeah, the dojo is now on Skid Row. It looks like in Hyder in the house where Gary Busey's living in that transient of hotel.

It's kind of like that. It's just like the bad part of it. By the way, his sneakers are not impeccable white. They're just grungy and dirty. He's really, really hitting hard times. Which is interesting, too, because it's only been about, it's been, like, less than a year, according to the chronology of all this. It's been so less than a year. Like, Karate Kid 1 ends.

Karate Kid 2, they're like, well, let's go to Japan. And they go and they do it for like a month, maybe a month. It's a month tops, right? And then they come back. When we first meet Daniel Son and Mr. Miyagi in part three, they're literally coming. They're at the airport. They're coming back from Okinawa. Yeah.

Right. And, you know, he's explaining, like, where the girl. is because you know you're you're not going to bring back all the characters all the all the beloved characters from from karate kid part two but so seriously that's like a month and you're telling me in a month john crease has bottomed out this fucking hard those shoes are that worn you got but here's the thing is what you don't see that the way they they film that parking lot seems really tight on mr miagi and john crease you go you you you fucking pan out it's william zabka's parents with their jaws dropped like oh my god what has been going on at that

karate studio. We thought he was just taking fighting lessons. I didn't know it went this deep. And then everybody knew. 60 minutes was in his face. Maybe like a Help Me Howard situation. The local news is just getting in his fucking,

like not myth busters, but like, you know, those crime stoppers guys. Oh yeah, absolutely. Well, like John Crease is trying to go into a movie theater. Like, hey, why are you hitting kids? Get out. Leave me alone. Oh, yeah. He's definitely like punched a tabloid journalist. There was a whole scandal about that, too. So he's, like, literally at the end of his rope, and he's like, I guess I'll go to my multi-millionaire friend.

And everyone in the audience is like, say what? And he rolls up to this mansion where, Eric, he's your favorite. He's my favorite, too, but Eric, you can take it. Well, I mean, how do you introduce a man like Terry Silver? I mean, it's kind of, it's downright hard because this is a man that's just incredible. I mean, he's the richest villain I've seen it in a while. He's loaded. He's like unrealistically loaded in this guy.

He's young. He was born in 1962. Yeah, he's like... Literally a year younger than Ralph Machio. But also in this movie playing a Vietnam veteran. So he's playing, yeah, he's playing way older. Like, he's like in his, he's like 27 or something. something

doing Thomas Ian Griffith playing this role. Yeah, realistically. Knocking this role out of the park. I'll step on your foot there. Just one second. He knocked it out of the park. Feel free to step away.

So realistically, though, right? Like the first movie is 1984. They're gone for a month. Depending upon, like, you know, how long the first movie takes place. And then they're gone for a month, give or take in the second movie. So total tops, it's 1985.

Yeah. Right. So theoretically, like, how old does John Crease, or not John Crease, Terry Silver, have to be. If he was a Vietnam veteran, like, what age is this actor playing right now? Well, I mean, the youngest possible is, what, like 18 during Vietnam? Right.

So 18 at the end of Vietnam. Yeah, he could be 32, 33, possibly. Even that's, like, pushing it. It's such a fucking stretch. Because he's old war buddies. Crease was in Vietnam. And he's like, oh, man, you saved my ass so many times. So he wasn't, like, Vietnam for a day.

Yeah. He didn't just show up at the fall of time. He didn't look at the fall of time. He was there on a business tree. His parents took him I feel like it was Yeah like the way they speak about it right It's like they've done a couple of tours together

Yeah There's no way this actor was in Vietnam It's insane It's really dumb But anyway he's the greatest of all time He's also He's knee deep in nuclear waste He disposes of it illegally

That's where he makes all of his money And he's buying and selling things And he's doing this kind of cool like I'm going to fight three guys at once because that's my job like this is my workout it's like the shit out of people yep you just come at me with your big padded like dog suit

and I just beat the shit out of you by my cool pool that I have yeah by the way by the way speaking of cool pools in the ambiance of Terry Silver I noticed that the walls in his house suspiciously look like the walls and Blade Runner it is weird it's just like

LA futureism he's got Darrell Hannah dressed up like a doll in one of the rooms. Oh yeah. I bet keeps that under lock and key. There's a bunch of plaques on the wall because for five consecutive years he's won the all

valley date rapist of the year award. Well that's we haven't described the man. He's very tall and lanky and he's got the greatest ponytail. He looks like the guy. It's a power tail. It's a power tail. It's an 80s power tail. He looks like the guy who

played Tommy the Green and white power ranger. Yes, he does. And it's the same power tail on that kid, too. Absolutely. This power tail, you know what?

It's not that, it's not that Terry Silver is great at business. It's that that power tail. If you possess the power tail, man, like, you know, one ring to rule them all, right?

One tail to rule all of the valley. Oh, and it was born in war, too. That's what he grew it out probably, in the heat of combat. Absolutely. That's why John Crease is loser in this movie. He's got a 1980s soccer mom haircut

throughout his whole movie. He actually has the haircut of the lady who looks the lady who played Mrs. Vorty's in the first Friday of the 13th movie. I mean, God damn, I cannot stress how much of a loser

John Greas. Well, he shows up to his buddy's place. Apparently, Terry Silver owned the Cobrecai the whole time. Like, obviously, where does John Crease get this money? He's probably the fourth. He was probably the fourth. time like he's like let me open a dojo he's like you open it fine you can open

another fucking dojo john jesus choke kids out after karate you want to teach karate kids i think that's a great goal i think you're really good at it just fucking calm down a little bit john what yeah and in what i think this conversation like happens over the phone

and terry silver is in a sauna on this gigantic cell phone oh yeah and he's just in a towel he's got like maybe a little ring on like this is like 80s power throne right like you're talking on a portable foam number one number two you're surrounded by moisture yeah also you're easily naked excessively naked oh yeah and guaranteed by the way that's his private sauna there's other saunas in this mansion where he brings

ladies to but the only ass that touches the stone in this sauna are the two cheeks that belong to Terry Silver. Right. I bet the ass countertop there's all plated silver. And he's just masturbating in it, furious, all the time. Big time. So, yeah, John Chris shows up. He's got a duffel bag. He's like, yeah, I'm leaving town. I've lost it all. He's like, I'm sorry, I'll pay you back. And he's like, what are you talking about John? You know, he's like, he's actually a

really, he's a really good friend. Say what you want about Terry Silver in this movie. And he gets up to some dastardly thing. He's a really good friend to John. He's a great friend. Yeah, you know what? I want a friend like this. I mean, he's going to make me do all sorts of heinous shit that I'll regret. But he's a guy that's going to help you out of a jam. The first two acts of this movie, he sends John Crease to Tahiti. He's like, you know what, John, you're overworked, you're choking kids out in parking lots.

I saw you. I saw you on Picks 11 news. You don't look good. You look puffy. Let's get you to Tahiti. You'll go. So he goes to Hediti, he's like, and I'm going to get revenge on this Luruso kid and this mountain that screwed you over because Terry Silver, here's a problem with Terry Silver.

He's incredibly racist. You know what? Yeah, you know what? Savvy businessman, great power tail, amazing pad, generous to his weight staff that works around him at the holidays, probably. Huge racist. Huge fucking racist. And here's a problem.

It's the same thing you'll get white guys that are into karate that are racist against Asian people deserve a certain kind of hell. Oh, yeah. Like, absolutely. You're buying it to the culture anyway. Fucking bite the hand that feeds you. Especially if you're making a fortune off of opening fucking dojo chains. If you're going to be racist, be specific about it.

You know, I can maybe get, you know, all right, maybe the Vietnamese, you know. You were there. I can get, you know, I'm not saying it's right, but I can understand why. Do you think that that is the root of his racism because he's supposedly a Vietnam veteran? I think it was both of their, maybe like both of them, that's like their first taste of Asian culture, you know, like they're there to see the women and then they go to

Japan and then they're like, oh, hey. They probably, it's because they come from a long line of white guy karate. That's what the cobra guy is. You never see an Asian guy anywhere near a cobra guy. No, not at all. He's getting thrown out. Unless he's getting

choked out and then thrown out. So basically... The old choke and throw. So as John Crease is boarding a plane to Tahiti and Terry Silver's like, I'm going to ruin this Laruso kid. I'm going to and that his instructor, I'm going to make him, he's like, I'm going to make him beg for mercy. He's like, I'm going to drive a wedge between them.

The old man is going to miss the kid and the kid's going to turn against the old man. He's got this Machiavellian scheme ready to go because his friend is on hard time. Forecasting the whole two-hour movie. And you know what? This is on John Crease because John Crease should be like, hey man, like I really appreciate you helping me out.

It'd be great to open another dojo, get me back on my feet. But let's not live in the past and fucking give a shit about the All Valley Karate Tournament from last year. Exactly. Which this kid just won. He just, he happened to be the winner of this tournament. He just won it. You know what? Last

year, there was a different winner. And you know what? The next year there's going to be possibly a different winner. You're right. He's hung up in the past and it's dangerous. It's a really slippery mountain. But I mean, maybe now, you said they came from a long line of white guy karate.

Maybe Cobra Kai has won the All-Valley Karate Tournament since like 1910. He's fun. 1910 doing karate tournaments, huh? It was there. I'm just imagining this guy. It looks like a 1970s Larry Bird in a Cobrecai key holding the championship. Yeah. See, but here's the other problem about the cobra Kai.

And it definitely comes into play at the end of this movie for sure. their whole fascination with like not only right do we need to be the best and have the champion of the All Valley Karate Tournament, right? We also have to look the part right. It was like when Jay-Z was starting up his record label and they would rent limos and spend all their money on champagne to make it look like they were way more successful

than they actually were at the time that's what the cobra Kai does at the end of this movie they're throwing fucking Cobra Kai T-shirts into the auditorium Oh, we're opening all these chains, blah, blah back, baby. Yeah. How about this, Terry Silver and John Crease, a solid business motto. Get one chain back up and running because that one on Skid Row has fallen to shit.

And there's no bringing this one back. Get a place in a mini mall somewhere. Get out of the valley first and foremost. Yes. Let's leave all this behind because that's where they know you've been choking kids. Like, you know what I mean? You throw these out like, hey, is it? I mean, it's been a year, but I'm pretty.

pretty sure at the end of this time last year, that guy over there had a kidder in his bicep. Oh, and yeah, and this is the other thing, right? I know it's the 1980s and karate is massive in America. I mean, that's why these movies exist. Sure. It was in real life massive

at this time. But it's part of the GDP. It's a small community though. You know what I mean? Like, everybody knows that the guy from the Cobra Chi Dojo choked a kid, not just a kid, A student in the parking lot.

If I'm a parent in the valley, I'm sending my kid to any dojo, just not Cobra-Kai. Terry Silver should have the sense to be like, listen, we're sending, we're going to, we'll open a new dojo, but it's going to be in Phoenix, Arizona. Exactly. And it's not called Cobra Cobra Cod. We're rebranding. You need to rebrand. Exactly right. Printing up Cobra Chi T-shirts, you fucking morons.

So Daniel Sun comes back and, you know, they go back to their. apartment complex and you know Laruso Daniel's like oh yeah I can't wait to see my mom you know oh man my mom wasn't in the last movie but I promise you guys she's going to be in this all the fans from you know the first movie that really loved the lady who played my mom

all the Mrs. Laruso fans oh all the Mrs. Laruso heads out there strap in and get disappointed instead they run into Mrs. Chote from Seinfeld in the parking lot and she tells them Is she in the first movie? I don't know no right and she's like you know

she's just like you know the house burned down you know you've got nothing left and then you know Laruso's like how can this get any worse and then there's this awkward scene where it's I love when this happens in movies it's when somebody's on the other end of the phone

and they're just like yeah I'm sorry I can't make the movie this time guys yeah we got all this homework I really can't make the movie it's amazing because Mrs. Laruso has gone to aid an uncle of hers who's just been diagnosed with emphysema And it's so awesome because she's like, oh, Daniel, I'm so glad you're back from Okinawa.

Oh, it's fantastic. Oh, was your flight great? Yeah, Uncle Harry's here. And while she's just flapping her gums talking to Daniel son, this old man in the background is literally choking the death. It's just this actor like, oh, yeah, no, he says hello, I'll make the next movie. And then they hang up, and that's the last you see of this woman. Any chance they can be Hillary Swakes God, but, oh. Series over, right, for this lady.

She's gone, man. Whatever. And, you know, swan song. This episode's brought you in part by Rocket Money, and they have this question for you. They handed to me just now, Mr. Rocket just handed me this. Do you know how much your subscriptions really cost? Most Americans think they pay around $80 a month. month on subscription services, but the actual total is closer to $200.

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by Better Help. You know, my 20s, while being a lot of fun, a lot of the time, were pretty rough. I wasn't exactly rolling in dough. I lived at home until I was about 25, and for most of it, I didn't have this show or you lovely people in my life. I just kind of drifted around without direction and didn't know where to voice that. Then I started to get my crap together one piece at a time, and the last piece, which didn't come until my early 30s, was therapy. And man, I wish it came along sooner. Ever since I started sitting down with a licensed therapist, I've had a place to voice my insecurities and try to fashion plans to help me achieve my goals.

So that's why I'm thrilled. We're sponsored by BetterHelp. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, and it's designed to be flexible, convenient, and suited to meet your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and the good thing is you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Let therapy be your map with Better Help. Ms. BetterHelp.com slash WHM today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash W-H-M. For some reason, I mean, Daniel's like about to start college,

and he's like, oh, you just stay with your good friend, Mr. Miyagi. Nothing's weird about you going on vacation with this 70-year-old man. Talk to you later. Oh, my God. And you can tell, by the way, poor person. Pat Marita. Or poor Mr. Miyagi man. He just wants to get down to some fucking I'm like, you're damn right he does.

He's had this little white shadow following him around. You know what I mean? And it's like, dude, you're going to the homeland. You're going back to Okinawa. You got this fucking turd with you this whole time. Yeah, you can't go back to your home turf and investigate blood feuds with some

some guy gene asshole. This kid's ordered California rolls and you're like oh fuck. Jesus fucking Christ the California roll. Really? Daniel son of California or what are we in the mall food court a sushi restaurant you're asking for a fork but also yeah you're going to investigate the blood feud but you're also looking for a lady who reminds you a little bit of your dead wife let's be realistic sure and the whole time you got this dweeb with you who refuses to be good at karate except for only a couple times when it really

counts that's a great point and that's kind of what the the big crux of the problem with this movie i get like for the first movie ralph macho doesn't have to be good at karate because like the whole point he's learned yeah he's learning from a book he's learning from i'm trying to kick from a book you're not going to do anything with that when they come back to you after it's a mega success and like hey ralph here's a contract for two more movies we're going to put four more hours of you doing karate on screen oh yeah you think you want to get into a program you think you want to like maybe figure out how to do some shit this guy doesn't know anything about Karad. Yeah, I'll get around to it. First, I'm going to, I'm going to explore other

aspects of the character, like taking girls to arcades and not getting anywhere with it. Just nowhere. Like, the worst thing to happen to him, Elizabeth Shue just left this franchise. She goes to college or what have you. That's the thing. That's the thing, is everyone from the franchise, everyone's moving on with their lives. They're doing things. They're getting stuff together. He's so hung up on this idea of being the karate kid because he won that one stupid goddamn tournament.

It's like Al Bundy in that fucking football game, man. Oh, yeah, absolutely. He's just going to be talking about that first All-Valley tournament forever. But get good at it. Like, you know what I mean? Learn what a fucking high... He should do at least one roundhouse in this movie. You know what I mean? Like, there's nothing. And you know who's awesome

in karate? Terry Silver. Thomas Ian Griffith, the actor, is fucking high kick and low kicking. Oh, he's doing some cool sweep he's beating the shit out of that wood and dummy in this movie it's awesome and so daniel son is uh he he he moves into the mr miagi and like miagi lost a lot of money on this apartment complex he kind of took a bath on it to be honest with you and you know all he's got is 14 old cars in his driveway from like pristine 1940s cars we're talking j leno cars they are j leno car they're total j leno it's a j leno car because it's an old car

classic car, but when you open the trunk, there's just a bunch of denim shirts inside it. A lot of backups. Break glass in case of mustard. You got to get rid of all that leather upholstery and put a denim. Indigo denim. Denim seat cushions. Maybe on the inside there's like a sweet neon pink like liner, like a little tubing to keep get your seat. Yeah.

Cassette tape of Kevin Eubanks. Kevin Eubanks's solo stuff Was Kevin Eubanks putting out records? I'm sure he's got a lot. I'm sure he's probably playing some, you know, some rinkadink town. I think, and not to talk about this too much,

but I think the new Tonight Show is no fucking contest to the J. Leno Tonight Show. Oh yeah, the Leno way better. That was a joke. I'll tell you what, though. One thing right away, Roots versus Kevin

Eubanks. Huge improvement. And then whoever that dude was in those bastard Leno years after he shafted O'Brien. I have no idea. Because it wasn't Eubanks. No. He was not asked back.

He was busy to making records in Japan. He was asked back and he was like, no. He was like, you know what? I have respect for Conan O'Brien. I refuse to do this new tonight show. So we're moving in. We're moving in, and, you know, he's like, oh, you know, Pat Maria's like, oh, you're excited for college tomorrow?

And he's like, yeah, I'm so excited for college. Mr. DiBiaghi, what are you going to do? He's like, oh, you know, I always kind of had this dream, you know, it's a little silly. I got to start all over, but I always wanted, I always want to, you know, like, really, really, that's what I always wanted. And he's like, say, that sounds like a bad business. And he hightails it to, like, to a bank. He takes all of his college money, which you're not entirely sure is it, did the mother give him the college money? Was this like just the money he saved was himself?

I don't know. I was about to say, don't anyone dare say it's karate winnings. You're not paying for college on karate winning. Can you pay for college with a fucking pizza gift certificate to little Luigi's? Like a $20 one? It's only if you're trying to take college courses in the valley. It's a 10 mile proximity around Luigi's in the valley.

And no shit that comes with a three liter of soda. Do not see that often. Dude, we retired, thankfully, the three-liter of soda. I majored in half-price hot wings because I paid my way through karate winning. That's the thing. It's like $1,500, maybe $3,000 tops. Top, top. Yeah, I don't know if it was ever like, oh, this is going to pay my way through college or anything.

But like, it's a start. He can enroll in some classes, start getting his life, start figuring out what he wants to do with his life. because he's not going to be able to fucking hang out with Mr. Miyagi and go to karate, you know, tournaments. And also, he's not that good at karate, so he can't be a dojo master. He's not being taught karate. He's on this still doing this elliptical, obscure program that Mr. Miyagi has that doesn't have a belt system, that doesn't have any tests. No, the man's a fucking handyman. Who also happens to know karate.

That's what he should be doing. He should be learning, trying to be learning to be a handyman. Dude, you know what? Pick up a trade, honestly. Yeah. Mr. Miyagi can teach you how to fix that sink. He made him sand all of his goddamn, uh, decks. Yeah, but right.

Why not learn, why not become a deck sander? By the way, Mr. Miyagi's pad in this movie, a triple plus. Oh, yeah. This house they're living in, that backyard. Oh, I'm jealous. It's got a bunch of cool Japanese doors. He put a lot of money into this pad. Oh, yeah.

That did not just exist in the valley. That's that hardworking immigrant gumption, right? Exactly. You work hard enough in this country once you get here. You get yourself a fleet of Jay Leno cars. You could get a bunch of karate trophy. Yeah, you can eat, trick out your pad. I don't know where he's getting those Jay Leno cars, but he has way too many of them.

And that's the thing. He's crying poverty. And I mean, I'm sorry, dude. But you've got 12 cars, 12, 1960s, vintage. car is in the backyard. So do you think that shit's hot? He can't move him just yet. He sells one in this movie and he really does act like it ain't no thing.

Of course it isn't. Daniel son's like, holy fuck, you sold that fucking car? Oh my God. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. It's all right. Got some magic beans. So basically Danielson puts his whole entire college fund into starting this

boncide business in real Skid Row. to Skid Row. Other side of the train tracks is where we go. He goes over Miyagi's helmet and gets this fucking lease. Yes. And it's just like he presents it as a present, like a wrapped present. Oh, here you go. Yeah, it's your dreams. Oh, you're a dream, Mr. Yaggy.

You always wanted to earn the bonsai shop. He's a bonsai shop. I gave it two years. It'd be great if then Mr. Miyagi's just like, oh, I think he kind of misunderstood what I said there, Daniel son about being my dream and everything. I kind of was just talking out loud. I don't really want to do this.

I was thinking... Yeah, but also maybe he met in Japan where people buy bonsai trees. Well, that's a business to have. Yeah, this is an instantly failing business. You know what it is? This is kind of funny because the interior of the shop reminded me a lot of

in Pray for Death. The place that that family, moves into coincidentally also a Japanese family to open the Japanese restaurant They are often conned here apparently In this Houston slum Yeah

It's like the same kind of thing It's like what are you doing Opening that kind of store in this neighborhood No one's gonna give a shit And he's like oh well you know Mr. Miyagi Oh you gotta just watch out man It's really coming up this neighborhood It's really gentrifying

A lot of people are gonna be moving here soon We're on the ground floor Mr. Miyagi Ground floor and Mr. Miyagi In all his infinite wisdom you can see in his eyes He's just looking like This fucking stupid kid God damn it. I'm just subtle with this kid. How did this happen? Go live with the dying

uncle. Why am I your fucking guardian? His only way out is death at this point. It really is. Mr. Miyagi, coincidentally, is now praying for death himself. Yes, he's going to commit Subuku. I really think Mr. Miyagi has some... He's very suspicious about

this dead, dying uncle scenario. Like, oh yeah, Ms. Laruso, now your uncle's dying, huh? How much longer do I have to fucking follow this kid around? Incidentally, you owe me three grand for a trip to whole to fucking Okinawa. FYI. Yeah, exactly. I expect

to be compensated for this ticket, by the way. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Mrs. Larissa. You know how expensive it is to fly to fucking Japan? I don't give a shit if it was from California. That's not cheap.

Pay up. And by the way, all those karate lessons I gave for free. I've been feeding this kid for four fucking months. 16 at this point my god it's outrageous she just takes advantage of this little old man and you know he's like mr miagi does the right thing and he's like because le russo is such an idiot he's like i'm going to give up my college education because i'm like absolutely obsessed with this old man oh yeah and i have to give him everything that i think he may want and he's like

well i guess he's like this is your business miss miagi congratulations you're business man and he's like well i mean you have to be my partner like that's how this would work work if you're putting up the money. He's like, oh, geez, oh, great. You're such a great guy. Mr. Miyagi's like, it's business, man. That's business, baby. Mr. Miyagi, it'd be great.

In the daytime, we can work at the bottom's eye store. Only when we come back to your house at night, Mr. Miyagi, we'll make a bunch of dinner. And then we can practice karate in the backyard together. Mr. Miyagi, it's going to be great. I won't let you down, Mr. Miyagi, I promise. And on weekends, we'll compete in tournaments. Because now, on top of this, you know, he's basically bribed off the old man.

Oh, it'll be a cinch for him to sign off on this karate a tournament application. Oh, absolutely. And Miyagi, rightfully so, is not having it. He's like, what are you fucking kidding me? The last time this happened, you barely won. You barely beat William Zabke. I got you out of there. Skinner your sack, kid.

Then you followed me when I tried to put this blood feud to rest. And again, Skinner your sack made it out alive fighting that fucking guy over. there you want to do this a third time it ain't third times a charm now kid you're going to be the weird older guy going back to the karate tournament oh he's the wooderson of the fucking all valley karate tournament oh man i love fighting kids they older i get they stay the same age older i get karate stays the same age and the best part about it is there's some bullshit rule which makes absolutely no sense for this tournament which is the champion of last year doesn't have to fight anybody else the whole tournament bracket the whole crazy thing

and then you get to fight the winner of last year and it's such horseshit too because he comes in daniel son and he's like mr miagi it's crazy there's this new rule that they made up and i'm like yeah that's because you don't want to do that many fucking karate scenes machio i know what that's about baby you just want to sit in and then just sliding in right at the end which is such crap because if you think about it our our main man kevin barns right he's got a fight in fucking tournament. Yeah, all the way up. Oh, you mean the bad boy of karate?

The bad boy of karate himself? Karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes. Oh, Mike Barnes. Excuse me. Yeah, but yeah, if you're Mike Barnes, man, and you're busting balls through this tournament to fucking get to fight, you know, the karate kid. And he's just sitting there eating fucking burritos on the bench while Mr.

Miyagi folds his arms and fucking stares out at the door. How is this my life? He's just looking at it, stare that into space. I am back here again. It's been three. 165 days and I'm back of this red fucking karate tournament. So, you know, I feel like now

we got to set up karate's bad boy Mike Barnes. Oh, please. Oh, yeah. It's right around the right time. It's my favorite scene in the movie is the introduction of Mike Barnes. We've got to go back to the evil castle of Terry Silver. Castle's Silver skull. There's a couple lightning bolts and thunder outside.

There's a draw bridge. So like, because he's such an evil millionaire. He's got to always be surrounded, you know, nearly nude and moisture. So he's in a bathtub this time on the phone. This bubble bath is quintessential 80s villain. And I love every frame of this movie. And he's got an old lady next to him.

Like his secretary is dictating notes. You know he's one of those weird guys that like gets out of the bath. His dick's just out. Oh, yeah. It's not for it really any kind of sexual pleasure. But the idea that it's out, and she has to look at it. Yeah, it's a power play. It's a power play.

Yeah. He is not by any stretch of the imagination. thinking about trying to like get with this old lady but it's just so he knows that she knows she has to look at his dick that's what it is and you know what that's why this guy's a success that that power dumping dumping toxic sludge everywhere that confidence that power tail extends from his cerebellum out and it goes down to his pubes one gorgeous trail back so she's like oh you know master silver this commission is indicting you that commission is adiding you got

40 grand from this 50 grand from that and she's like oh and on to new business of trying to ruin the life of a nearly destitute Asian man and his 17 year old companion he's like now we're talking what I want to talk about finally the fun part of my

work day abusing the children and the elderly fucking with poor people because they They sort of crossed by maniac friend. Yeah, my war criminal buddy. So he's inspired because he sees Mike Barnes' picture in a magazine. Yes, he asks this older woman to get him all the karate magazine, the teen karate magazines, and Tiger Beat and whatever the fuck else.

Because again, by the way, it's 1980s America. And we have not one, but at least five separate. karate-related periodicals. What karate-related periodicals. What a time to be alive. That's all I'm going to say. But this old lady is a little bit suspicious, right? When he's like, give me all those teen karate magazines.

I want to ruin this kid's life. He's like, yes, Master Silver. I'm doing research for a book I'm writing. So he flips one open. He sees a full page spread, full page spread of karate. bad boy Mike Barnes beautiful he's beautiful and it's beautiful

that he fits into my plan I'm hard I mean get me Mike Barnes so they get Mike Barnes Terry Silver is still in the bathtub yeah yep yep yep for days when you're when you're an ultra success story like Terry

Silver you can take several meetings while in the bath he's he's making the secretary do the dictation of that threatening letter he's composing to whatever DA he's paying off. And then they're like, oh, well, Mr. Barnes is here to see you. And he has these two, like, henchmen escort this guy in, does not get out of the bubble bath. He's hired, to my knowledge, he's hired two teen henchmen just for this task. I mean, the amount of time and money Terry Silver is putting in to ruining this kid's life is astounding.

It's not just making a plan. It's engineering a downfall. And there's a big difference. And he comes in, he looks a lot like Cody from step by step, by the way. He totally does. Who's also a karate star in his own right? That guy was a karate guy and a lot of... He's in not just one kickboxing related movie also.

Sasha Mitchell, I believe his name is. So he comes in and he's like, he's kind of telling Silver where to get off. He's like, Silver offers him like 25% in all of Cobra Kai's stock. Yes. Which, I mean, is fucking worthless. it's worthless because what the t-shirts you want 25% of the t-shirts they've had made up the idea i think the idea is karate's bad boy mike barnes decimates laruso in the rig cobra kai reclaims the throne of that they've had since 1910 and then boom sales through the roof

everyone wants cobra kai karate hey uh eric you know what i call that a pipe dream well you know it's time to lay lay it down John is just such a good guy I've got to get him on his feet I know I'm losing money on this venture Losing tens of thousands of dollars Because also by the way You gotta figure these teen henchmen

They don't come cheap You're asking these kids to do all sorts of like shitty evil things The teen henchman Terry Dennis and snake By two favorites Snake by the way portrayed by the director's son Yes Ew

Yeah Yeah We know what that's like. So basically, Mike Barnes, like, talks him in, you know, he's like, all right, you know, you're in on my plan. And, like, this is when the wheels start going in motion. So, Laruso, even though he's fucking 19 years old, still has to do everything Miyagi says. So he's like, well, I guess I really do how to do the karate tournament. I did kind of just give him a business.

But Mr. Miyagi said no. So I guess I got to say no. Yeah, he comes around to it after. Yeah, it comes around to saying no to it. You know, to his credit, like within a day or so, and that's good for him. You know, he, like, burns it. And around this time, he also gets this hairbrain scheme of, well, oh, well, let's focus on the bonsai business. And, you know, to make this business a real success, we need an authentic original bonsai tree.

Right. That Mr. Miyagi took from Okinawa and planted in devil's cauldron. And you know what? Here's the thing. I appreciate Japanese botany as much as the next person. Sure. But you know what I'm tuning into this movie for? Some fucking karate.

And this movie is, it's Ralph Machio basically being like, well, my college education is out the window because I invested in this business against Mr. Miyagi's wishes. I am just going to, he resigns himself to becoming a bonsai guy. Like, he's like, just teach me everything you know about bonsai trees, Mr. Miyagi. This is the living I'm going to make for myself now. You fucking idiot teenager. Well, you know, now that we're getting to the bonsai business, I forgot, we have to talk about the girl across the street. Oh, Jesus.

The girl who runs the pottery shop or works there anywhere. Yeah, just the skidro, a cross, Skid Row has two things. A bonsai tree store and a novelty pot store. Everything else. And an adult bookstore. Yeah, it's an adult book store. and six liquor stores, all of which cash checks for you. All of which Miyagi visits nightly.

Well, you keep thinking about that dead wife, dude. Every day Miyagi comes in, there's a homeless guy jerking off in the fucking Bondzai store. I would have keep doing it until you're a liquor store. And he's like, get out of here. By the way, I just want to quickly interject that the reason this movie is a failure, chiefly and paramountly, is this probably the only one that I can remember that Miyagi doesn't have a drunken breakdown

where he sings, cries, remembers the war in his dead wife. It's true. And actually the one part where like he holds up a picture frame and he's like, I feel like I'm losing you again and blah blah blah and all this shit.

And you're like, all right, here we go. It's the downward drunken wife spiral. And then it cuts to what he's looking at and it's a picture of him and Daniel son. Fucking come on, Miyagi. Cry over that dead wife. That's what I've paid my ticket for.

that and karate which you are not at all giving me if I can't have karate the least you can give me is a drunken breakdown you know what you also won't get in this karate kid movie not only will you not get karate not only will you not get miagi crying over his dead wife you will not get any kind of romance whatsoever because this girl he shows up and he has his awkward like le russo charms hey I kind of old that store

with the greatest guy he's talking about Mr. Miyagi oh my best friend in the world Mr. Miyagi you got him he's a great guy love him to death I understand you're in college and you're here from Ohio, but no, not for me. I hang out with a 70-year-old man all the time. Seven days a week, and you can put money on it. I'm trying, I'm investing in a failing plant shop. And it's such horseshit, and you can read up on the production of this movie a little bit.

And the whole thing is the original script is Danielson goes across the street because Mr. Miyagi needs a pot, you know, a pot for his plant shop, you know what I mean? And they're thinking about making like a special brand of pots with their insignia on it. So Daniel Son's got to go do the fucking corporate research because he's a business partner and this failing sinking ship of a flower shop. Right? So it goes over there.

A flower shop would make money, but go on. Yeah. It's a bonsai shop. Excuse me. And he goes over there and there's this gorgeous redheaded girl and she falls for him and they get down to some fucking. But Ralph Machio was concerned that his wife would have a problem with it and insisted that

they switch it in the script so that it was a platonic relationship. Ralph Machio, don't you think your wife understands that you're an actor? Yeah. And this shit's paying the fucking bills, dude. Does she know that it's not, you're not in a hardcore movie? Yeah, totally. It's the Karate Kid 3. There's just going to be some innocent kissing at the mall.

Tops. Hors shit. You don't even need kissing at the mall, but just have to be in a relationship, but they hold hands. It's fucking fine. But like, so he asked her on a date, she's like, yeah, that's, sounds great and he goes to pick her up and it's great because he's like oh Mr. Miyagi thanks he borrows a fucking

Hawaiian shirt from Mr. Miyagi and he looks like shit it looks like fucking he looks like he belongs on Skid Row with this shirt and it's such shit and I don't know if it's like he just agrees with everything Mr. Miyagi says

and does right or he's trying to be nice but I think you're right he's like so brainwashed because he's like oh Mr. Miyagi these shirt's so great I love this shirt Mr. Miyagi if you think about him if you look so cool. I'm like you look like a fucking moron in that shirt, Danielson. It looks like Weird Al Yankovic. And you smell like an old man.

Like, he guaranteed Mr. Miyagi's got a whole lot of like Old Spice bomb. Like not new cool Old Spice, old dirty bastard 80s Old Spice. Just all over his body. You smell like a dog track, Danielson. And he shows up and this girl looks at him and gets a whiff and she's like, oh you know what i should get this out of the way i'm in a relationship i'm just looking for a friendship she has a boyfriend back in ohio yeah and and it's you know he's like oh what about that girl you said was your friend and she stole them away from you

and she's like yeah but that shirt makes me think that that was a huge lie and like you know man i get it movie and i get it ralph macho and i don't need her to blow you at a pizza hut But I just need this to not be what it is because it's just neutered garbage And if it's neutered garbage Why is it in a movie that's already neutered Of all karate ever? You're not doing nymphomaniac

You're doing Karate Kid Part 3 Nothing is risque about this It's just so stupid You're gonna be the most fucking action You're gonna get is do bumper cars probably Seriously It's like everyone involved Must have known this is the final

Daniel Aruso at least If you're not doing karate You need like the big love story Or something like this is And they lived happily ever after Nope That's the thing right

If those jeans are too tight for karate Those jeans definitely aren't too tight To go to a pier somewhere And go to an arcade Or go on a roller coat Like how about a fucking carnival Maybe go under the pier See what happens

Daniel is I don't know I think he's going to a weird like early late teens crisis because he's like yeah that's a great idea we'll be just friends and i'll just i'll put all my feelings in a pot and i'll break them you know and like it's a pot that you make me on your clay wheel and then i'll go talk to my old man friend and you know he'll give me more advice and maybe he'll give me some sort of very obscure karate lesson where i might learn anything and then i'll realize that my mother would rather go travel to another part of the country to take care of a relative i never heard of instead of living with me and raising me like a

mother should. It'll be great. Then he just fucking blows his brains out. That should be the end of this movie and the bonsai fucking parking lot. Terry Silver just shows them like, huh. Wow. I mean, really. Wow. Was you acting on that a couple weeks sooner? Kid.

Could have saved me tens of thousands of dollars. And then he just shoves Biagi, you're fucking lucky and walks away. So basically on their first date, they get harassed by Snake and Mike, and Karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes. And, like, he's like, he's like, hey, I'll see you get the karate tour, right?

La Rousseau, and he's, like, shoving him. And he's like, well, actually, my, my boss said I can't go to the karate store. And he's like, calling him a coward, shoving him around, beating the shit out of him, right? Oh, yeah. And it's, by the way, it's in the bonsai shop, because, like, he picks her up. And she's like, so, what are we going to do? And he's like, well, I thought I could show you Mr. Miyagi's bonzai shop. It'll be a lot of fun.

It's called Mr. Miyagi's little trees. Oh, Mr. Miyagi, what do you think of that name? I think it's pretty smart, right? And he's like, yeah, it's great. Well, now that all erotic tension is quelled, we might as well go to my bonsai shop. Nobody but fucks in a bonsai shop. They get in there and it looks like shit.

It looks like shit this entire move. They really never get around to fixing it up before these dudes destroy it. So then karate's bad boy and the baddies show up. And they start. Fat guy and the other one. They start wrecking shit. Like, oh, what's that you want?

would be ashamed of something would happen to this wooden floor they start kicking the floor and it stuff sign it he won't sign it you know now he's honorable sticking by his sensei oh but by signing you mean the application to a regional karate tournament right

yeah yeah yeah yeah so the next appropriate response to him not signing it is to kick the girl in the chest it's nuts I mean why not man karate's bad boy that fucking

Says it right there, that's his name. Because Daniel, Daniel, son, is holding his gut on the floor. Like, oh, he's like, really trying to be like, I guess I didn't know karate at all. Man, is it so funny? I keep just forgetting out and do karate. It's unbelievable. And she just gets side kicked through a fucking table. The Dudley Boys needy tear onto a car table.

There's so many breakable wooden objects. How about one metal shelf, Mr. Miyagi? Just one. The best thing in the world. this. Miyagi comes in and Miyagi is like literally a karate god. Like nobody could land a hit on him. Yeah. It doesn't matter if you're karate's bad boy Mike Barnes.

Bruce Lee would get the shit kicked out of him by Miyagi. Oh, absolutely. So he beats these kids up. They run out and they get into their car, they're convertible and they start doing donuts in front of Miyagi's, in front of Miyagi's place. Like, you're going to sign that Laruso, you fucking pussy!

It's amazing. I don't know they narrowly missed getting hit by a train. Oh, yeah. That, dude, how about that, right? karate's bad boy killed by an oncoming train you live you live fast you die fast man it's true man so back at castle silver he's he's assembling a fleet of commoner cars he's his butlers have brought him out a fleet of these cars that it look like shit like some are broken up and so basically told these people just to buy a bunch of cars so that he can inspect them to then drive one to now infiltrate daniel's life yeah and this is i mean this is why i said it's not just a plan he's engineering a downfall because he gets all these cars because his whole plan at this point is like I have to make myself look like a common shit heel so I can go in pretend to be this guy like hat in hand like oh Mr. Miyagi like he comes in while they're training one morning because I'm sure Mr. Miyagi really wanted to be up on a Saturday morning with this kid

doing fucking karate practice in the backyard what I appreciate about this is is Terry Silver just walks through their house and then into the backyard. Oh, yeah, he comes right through and he's just like, oh, hey, are you Mr. Miyagi? You know, and he's basically, he's apologizing. He's pretending he's from Korea. Yeah. You know, where,

I guess, it's not that it's a branch of the cobra Kai, but it's just like, that dude's sense had something to do with Miyagi. Like, they knew each other in the old lands or whatever, and like, there's an old grudge that was quell'd. He's like, you know, he sends his respects. And I also want to apologize.

My friend actually was, on crease uh he's dead now by the way and they're like wait what he's like yeah you know losing that he actually says like losing that karate tomorrow just broke his heart yeah he died of a broken heart a broken karate kicked heart which it's awesome and he's like well uh i guess if that's all mr miagi uh he's gonna bow a couple times and i'll be on my way really just planting the seeds of like good guy terry silver the best thing is uh you know like you know when an old couple, you know, the wife dies and then the husband dies after or vice

versa. Well, for John, it was you know, losing those kids to yell at after he lost that. You just had nothing to live for, you know? And by the way, children at a karate setting, without that. You know, he's apologizing with half of the dojo that trained him in

and, but he says it's in Korea and he can't, like, it took a while for word to reach Korea. He's on, he's Terry Silver, in this plot of his, is on a dojo business trip to make amends and

save face. Because it's the 80s and there's money in karate. And that used to happen. You'd be like, yeah, dojo's sending me to Japan this week. All expenses paid. The dojo's just sending me. There's a karate seminar. I'm going to listen

to a whole bunch of karate lectures. They put me up with the Tokyo Hilton. It's going to be great. I'm kind of getting seduced by this world man it's too bad that it doesn't exist anymore you know what I realized dude is when we were on the digital drift podcast

and Alex Shaw asked us we are where it was we wanted to go missed opportunity what are you talking about I said 1980 California boom I could have got in on the ground floor Mr. Miyagi but we didn't we weren't thinking in terms of the super

popular karate empires that we could have been a part of you were saying video arcades and nice weather. Dude, suburban karate finals. That's where the money was at. That's where the real money was. That was like the Microsoft of the 80s. Yeah, you're right. Hundreds of dollars. Yeah, could be in your pocket right now. Hey, you know what? Here's the thing. Yeah, could be. Karate, karate from fall into spring, right? And then in the summer, we're dirt biking.

Oh, yeah. Oh, man, are you dirt biking? You bet. You bet. You bet. Absolutely, dude. problem is you drink it a lot of bad beer like a ton of bad oh there's a lot of bad bad you can't open or drink some bad beer a lot of bad beer a lot of wrinkled old porno mags one by one our necks would be broken either karate or dirt biking and that's it one or the other we're dying in some sort of accident your next are at danger 24-7 oh man yeah so basically like biaki respects the shit out of it daniel's like oh what a good guy you know i feel I can't believe John Greece is dead That doesn't make a whole lot of sense It makes a real violent turn So basically

You know The business is failing And Daniel's like No you know what we need Mr. Miyagi told me That his whole life's ambition Was to watch that tree flourish In this devil's canyon

That really was hard for him to plant I better rip it out of the fucking ground This is ridiculous So he takes his girlfriend Who happens to be I'm sorry his friend his platonic friend Apologies to Mrs. Machio

Don't want her Fetio. Yeah, don't want her feathers getting ruffled talking about the non-existent love angle in this movie. So she happens to you a mountain climbing expert Like she would. Absolutely. And they repel down the thing

And they're like, you know, Danielson's like Oh man, it's going to be great. I could get $10,000 for this tree. You know what I mean? That'll really give up, you know, my $3,000 somehow ran out already. unbelievable first of off he like he like falls like a chump almost instantly yeah yep yep and like she's like oh i'm sorry that you couldn't do this well you know what i thought you were in good shape

if he's bad at being the the karate kid he's also bad at being the mountain climbing kid too then because yeah you're right he just sucks ass at this and you're like how how dare you want to enter the all valley karate tournament dude when you're this fucking out of shape you can't even belay a little hill. You fucking loser. God damn it, Daniel Son, you're the worst. What a loser. Now, I mean, at this point, Daniel has politely refused Mike Barnes.

He has vehemently refused Mike Barnes. Yep. He's already gone to the police because, you know, like, he fucked up a thing. He went to the police. Apparently, the police, even though he fucked up a small business and assaulted a woman, the police laughed him out of the police precinct. I would laugh Daniel Son out of a police precinct also. He kicked your girlfriend to a...

Oh, a loser. That's real worried. She's not your girlfriend. Oh, hold. Give me that newspaper from seven months ago. Oh, my God. That's the kid who won the daughter of it. Bro, this kid's in here with a saying a girl got kicked.

He ain't even his girlfriend. Oh, man, that all valley is full of pussy, son. You come to the Encino finals. You fucking head kicked it. Fuck, no skull left. So, Mike Barnes, and, you know, he's got a 50% stake in another failing business franchise, so he's really out, he's played for keeps. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So he tries to kill Daniel at this point, because he hasn't signed his registration to an All Valley tournament. Yeah, pretty much. A youth regional karate tournament. Under 18. Yes. He is holding him over a cliff. Basically, he's holding on the thing, and, like, you know, he basically. Basically what happens is Daniel's so fucking stupid.

Somehow they drop that goddamn tree to the bottom. Because he's terrified of what he's doing. Like they're going down there and she's trying to get down on her own and a rock comes loose. And he's like, oh, a rock! And like jumps out of the way and fucking drops the tree. And it goes to the bottom. So then they have to go all the way to the bottom, you know, of this little co. And they have to protect it from the salt water if it gets on the tree.

Right, because he's already just ripped it out of the fucking. ground like an asshole and he knows nothing about anything he's oh maybe if i watch the roots and like the fucking thing's dead by the way in case you're wondering that's a dead stick and if it wasn't a dead stick mike barn's going to make sure it's a dead stick oh because they get back up to the top of that mountain and he fucking breaks it in half in front of him he says hey le russo make a wish and snaps it oh it's awesome after he's after he bullies him into signing the yes he signed it because they were going to leave them down at the bottom of the cauldron for high tide to come in. So it's basically

you can die. Sign a die, man. You could, yeah, do this stupid thing. Because also karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes at this point, very vehemently wants this to happen because he wants stake in this new dojo franchise. And it's not

going to happen if you just defeat someone else. Right. And by the way, as far as what Daniel's son should be thinking here, right? Like, okay, guys, you know, you really got me now. I will sign it. just fucking sign it. And then you know what?

Don't show. Don't show. Don't show. Oh, I was sick that day. Oh, my God. Oh, I can't compete. Oh, Mike Barnes, you got to the final competition. All right. Well, whatever.

I don't care because it's not a fucking law-biting thing. It's a goddamn permission slip to fight a fucking karate tournament. You know what? Daniel Miyagi should have, you know, they should have realized, like, hey, the police aren't going to do anything. They got to take this into their own hands. And, you know, why, fight them to karate, which is what they want to do. How about put a fucking car bomb in Mike Barnes.

You know what? Miyagi, you just got back from settling one blood feud. Yeah. Why don't you start another one? Yeah, you got that one off the books, put one on. Oh, yeah. Then, you know, in the next movie, you can fight Terry Silver's brother, Barry Silver. He'll be out to settle the score.

It'll be great. The best thing is when Mike Barnes is actually, like, agreeing to the terms with Terry Silver. He's really like, you know, he's negotiating hard. I want, I want 25, I want 50%. And he's like, yeah, man, whatever you want. You negotiate as good as you fight. He's like, let the cigar. And he's like, yeah, I do. You're going to write this up today. He's like, I'll have it. I'll have you able to sign this afternoon. I want to see this contract. Because this contract not only stipulates that this kid is going to get 50% of this fake dojo business. It's only upon him humiliating and defeating specifically another kid.

That's not even entered at this point in this karate tournament. And by the way, guaranteed there's some sort of concrete thing that's like you can't just beat him. Beforehand, you need to put in exactly 72 hours of community service humiliating him, humiliating and harassing not only this kid, but his weird old man friend that he lives with. And the contract language does say weird old man friend because they have no idea who Mr. Miyagi is. And you get a $1,500 bonus if you could physically assault his love interest, whoever she may be. Oh, yeah, guaranteed. Or a friend interest. Friend interest.

It's guaranteed money. So at this point, you know, Miyagi is like, he's fucking, he's as mad as Miyagi gets, which is not very. But he's like, he comes back. He's like, you know, Baccio's like holding on to his wounds, and he's like, Mr. Biagi, I'm so sorry. And he shows this man what he thought was a tree that's just living a wonderful tree life on the side. of him out. A tree that he is, he's, he was probably found as a child and brought from another nation to this nation, then fought World War II for America. This tree is fucking old. No, that's, that's the thing, right? Here's, here's, here's all the string of memories that he

associates with this tree. Like, emigrates to the United States from Okinawa, Japan, right? He brings, brings maybe the seed of the tree with him. You know, he says, you know, I want this to be a very special place where I can plant this tree will be untouched by man plants the bonsai tree it starts you know sprouting a little bit he's very happy with it boom fucking Japanese internment camp

okay then he's let out he's got a fight in the 422 or whatever the name of the regiment was goes over he's a goddamn decorated World War II fucking hero he's a hero Mr. Miyagi comes back great life loses his fucking wife guaranteed she love

that goddamn bonsai tree all these memories both good and bad they used to go and look at it every oh yeah oh yeah he says a little poetic thing like oh i planted it so the light hits it just right on a fucking summer day and all this it was like spiritually and scientifically aligned and this fucking community college dropout fucking ripped it out of the ground this fucking jersey rat that wandered his way to californiaa and ruined your life just tore it out of the ground because oh by the way he thought He was doing you a favor because isn't it just the American way?

Oh, I thought Mr. Miyagi, I'll get $10,000 for this tree. You fucking little mad shit. He should have done the touch of death. Yep, yep, yep, yep, exactly right. Seven pressure points. Kill him dead. And he's like, oh, you know, he's really upset, but he doesn't get actually physically upset because he's Miyagi. He's going to have stone cold, super cool the whole time.

And he's like, well, actually, you didn't need to do that because I just sold one of the millions of cars that are out in my fucking driveway. you fucking idiot he's like oh what did you tell me and he's like what did you even notice that the car was gone of course you didn't because there's that many cars out there what do you think what's their equity you jackass it's amazing because he says what he says to and this really kind of it lets you know where miyagi stands with this whole relationship versus where the rusa stands with this whole thing because miagi says you know why i didn't tell you because i got up this morning and you weren't home and i'm fucking a seventy-five five-year-old World War II veteran,

and I don't answer to your dumb ass. If I want to sell a car, I'm going to go sell a car. You know what you should ask me about? Ripping my fucking family's tree out of the fucking wall that I've had for fucking 60 years. Since your dumb fucking mother was in short pants,

you idiot. It's just this fucking, Steve, you said it's there. I'm not going to take credit for this, but he's fucking Scotty from boogie. I said, oh, oh, Mr. Miyaki, I'm so sorry. I was such a fucking idiot, Mr. Miyagi. I'm just stupid I am, Mr. Miyagi.

He was like, oh, damn it, you know, I should have just signed the paper. It would have been all right. I should have just signed the paper. It would have been to right. And he's like, Miyagi just doesn't have the time. I just got to fix this tree. Miyagi, like, now, like, understands, like, you know,

under those circumstances, I understand why you signed for this karate tournament. But I'm not going to be able to train you. I can't train you. I'm not going to do it. Because, number one, you're an asshole. So then he's throwing, he drifts into the arms of, the evil sense say Terry Silver. And it's just a lot

of him training with Silver and you can clearly see Silver's like teaching him some wrong things, teaching him a couple of dirty tricks and everything. It's great the way Silver actually finally makes his move is Laruso's like jogging with his love, his friend interest. And she's like, oh so Miyagi's not going to train.

He's like, nope, I guess I'm on my own. I guess this guy's going to kill me and cold blood in the ring. And Silver's like, he pulls up in a car. It's like, hey buddy, you need to learn karate. He says, hey, Fran, looks like you need some karate lessons. And he's like, you know what, Terry Silver? I do.

And yeah, he's kind of doing some, like, he's giving him aggressive karate lessons. And one of John Crease's crazy decrees for this vengeance feud, he's like, make his knuckles bleed. Oh, yeah. And Terry Silver was like, oh, I love that. What a great motto for my mission. Make his knuckles bleed. So he's got this wooden dummy that's made out of two by five. fours and it's got bad boy Mike Barnes's face on it he's yeah this is your enemy he's like but to be

honest he's teaching him more karate than Mr. Miyagi has in three movies he's like this is a straight punch this is a sweep this is a like these are things you can use exactly here are tools you can use in a karate fight and so much like how you like train a dog for a dog fight like he really makes daniel son into this like evil fighting machine who will use karate for vengeance and not just for defense. And it culminates at this nightclub they go to where he takes his non-lady friend out on the dance floor. And then

Silver pays the kid from real genius to like go up. Is that the kid from real genius? It's the kid from real genius. He goes up to fuck with him, right? And then Danielson just punches this guy right in the nose. He just asks his girlfriend to dance and he's like

you know, he puts his arm around her or not his girlfriend his friend. And Laruso is so fucking ravenous at this point. Oh yeah. He's like a Michael Vic Dog and just punches this kid in the fucking nose. Instantly shatters this nose and a cinder.

Blood everywhere. There's blood all over his shirt. It's like he's just, it's like Pulp Fiction. It's everywhere this blood. It's ridiculous. And then like they get out of there, you know,

and Daniel's like, oh my God, Terry Silver, what if I done? It's ridiculous. I can't believe I did that. By the way, Terry Silver's now runs into them at the club. Oh yeah, he's like,

oh, Daniel son, what are you doing here? Yeah, right, Terry Silver. How do you not know this ponytail creep is up to no good. Because Daniel Lewis is one of the dumbest movie characters of all time. He's top. And

he goes back to Mr. Miyagi and he's like, oh my God, I'm so turned around, Mr. Miyagi. And at this point, he has been karate cheating on him for a while. And it's really weird. It's the dark side. He's turned to the dark side. It's exactly right. It's fucking Revenge of the Sith, man. He's turning.

They're building a death style. You know, Terry Silver's just building this death star. It turns into a domestic drama where it all comes out one night. He's covered in blood. And he's like,

what if it's coming me? And like, basically he, he spilled, he's like, you know, I will train you know, I'll train you for the tournament. I'll give you the right lessons.

You're just, you're really just fucked up right now. He's like, all right, I got to break this off right now with Terry Silver. I swear to God, Mr. Miyagi,

this is going to be great. And he goes, first he goes to his love interest house covered in blood again oh yeah just all just blood everywhere fucking massacre this girl is like you know i was just i was hanging out with this guy just because i'm really trying to kill time you know and he's safe but i've been kicked in the chest he's weirdly protective i'm gonna leave this movie thanks but no thanks she's literally pack like you said yeah oh yeah just packing a suitcase to leave movie down yep she's going to The reality of Ohio in this movie, which doesn't exist.

She's going to board a plane in Los Angeles, get into the air, and just vanish. And what I love about that, too, is she clearly says, like, when they meet at some point, like, I'm here for college. Like, I'm living here. My Aunt Pegg runs the pottery shop. Yeah. So because of Daniel Leruso's shenanigans, this woman has, like, forced herself to drop out of college and move home just to be away from all this karate madness. she knows she was i knew i should have gone to ohio state this this is a lot more sense and she's just he's like oh what did you send me a christmas card it's like yeah i'll do that

yeah uh don't bother leaving your address though i'll look it up mr miagi's little trees right i'm sure it'll still be there at christmas so then he goes over to terry silver's uh you know dojo and like one in the morning this is after a nightclub out out because Dude, when you live and breathe karate in the 1980s, you're always at the dojo. Sleep in there. He's training. He's in his outfit. He's just training in the back.

And, you know, he comes in. He's like, you know, Mr. Silver, you know, you're so great. You're a great karate guy. My God, you're so good at karate. But it's just that, you know, you're not the right kind of karate for me. It's crooked karate. It's not your karate. It's my karate.

And then, you know. You know, Terry Silver, then it's like, okay, well, it's time to unmask what's going on here. So it's a big, uh, uh, uh, you're fucking fighting in this all Valley tournament, buddy. And of course, John Crease comes out laughing. The, the assumed, I thought I saw a ghost. It's so stupid. And Mike Barnes, too. They're all.

Karate's bad boys there, yeah. Karate's bad by Mike Barnes is there. John Crease is there. Snake is there. I think it's kind of a bummer that Daniel shows up at this party because you know they were minutes away from getting down to some coke. Like, it's just like... Yep, absolutely.

Guaranteed someone just got these brand new compact discs. Yep. And listen, there's a couple of Skinnerd albums that are on compact discs now. We're gonna listen to Skinnerd. We're drinking shitty beer and we're doing a whole lot of fucking Coke.

And you know what? You're not allowed to talk about anything but karate and Skinnered. Oh, dude. That's it. Crease is back from Tahiti. We're gonna get so fucked up, man. Yeah, LaRosa really fucked up this whole thing.

That's probably why they kick his ass. You know they're not sending snake out there to get subpar shit. Fucking Terry Silver's getting his fucking British butler to get him some Primo Columbia. Oh, yeah, dude, this is no fucking joke. It'll get you where you need to go. Fucking their lives would have been changed. Travel through time with that shit. And they all come out and beat the ever-loven shit out of Daniel.

Man, oh man, does he get it, which is great. Because he deserves it. And like every single time, here's the thing, Miyagi, when you see three villains beating the shit out of Daniel and, you know, all this shit's happened, walk away. Just turn around. This is, this is the path that he's forged for himself. Maybe they'll kill him. And it's not your fault. You weren't there.

You weren't there? Nope. Nope. Perfect break. Clean break. You know, Daniel should just moved it back to Jersey. You know, go to college in the east. Get away from all this.

trade school become an electrician it's all it's a great life exactly so you know he gets his ass kick miagi comes in obviously lays fucking waste to these guys throws bad boy mike barns through the fucking door oh yeah he's jazzy jeffed right out of the dojo it's great and it's i mean like i know he's the best at everything but he is 70 years old and these guys are there's three of them yeah terry silver is a known badass karate's bad boy mike barnes kicking women all over the place They're young, they're lean, and they're mean, and they get their ship kicked out of them by a three-foot-tall 70-year-old man. And you know what, by the way, Snake and the other guy, they're not above baseball bats. No, of course not.

So riddle me this, Miyagi, you're going to take on karate's bad boy Mike Barnes, Terry Silver, noted karate enthusiast and billionaire, and then two idiots with baseball bats. You're going fucking down. By the way, those baseball bats were there because this crazy Coke part. was going to culminate with breaking somebody else's windshield just for the shit of it. Oh, yeah. Yep. Absolutely. Let's fuck up somebody else's car. And Terry Silver will leave money. It's fine. It's fine. So then, you know, brief training montage. It's a lot of just, like, doing some slow motion moves by the ocean. Nothing nuts. But it is a little important to hit the Terry Silver v. Biagi thing. Like, he's kind of doing some fake Bruce Lee, like, ooh, wow.

Oh, yeah, it's getting, because he's called him a mountain all over the place. Yeah, big time mountain calling. Absolutely. And, you know, basically, you'll see in a minute. He kicks, Miyagi wins. He kicks him into a bunch of paint. And he kind of gets, speaking of days to confuse, he gets Ben Affleck for a second. And he's like, oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. So that's his humiliation. But you're still like, okay, this is the fight before the final fight where everything's really going to happen. And it's awesome, too, because just the tail end of that whole scene with Miyagi is, yeah, because Terry Silver is doing all the, like being offensive and shit. And then fucking Pat Marita, man. Pat Marita was so amazing. Like, you see him just fucking looking at this scuzz ball. And he just goes, wha. Like, and Pat Marita is able to do, like, a sarcastic taunting Bruce Lee sound. God bless him.

It's fantastic. Oh, yeah. So then we're just magically at the karate tournament. There's some slow motion training. Nothing nuts here. Stanley Kubrick's karate tournament. This is the reddest thing. It's like on fucking Brando's Krypton.

It's so red in this room. It's unbelievable. And this is where Terry Silver gives an amazing karate speech. It talks about how he's given back to the community and investing in it and like how karate's taught him so much.

Oh yeah. And he's wearing an ascot. Oh, it's just he looks the classiest thing. He looks fantastic. He's really come to play. Like this is Cobra Kai's day. He's got a blazer that ascot, the power tail dude. He looks. I was falling in love. He looks like

money. He looks like money and success. You know he just came out of a really good bat. Oh, yeah. He came out of a really good bat. And by the way, he totally got a blowjob in the limo from the dojo over to the community center where this, by the way, hugely attended karate tournament. Oh, absolutely. So we're there.

The whole valley's there. It's the All Valley, quite literally. It's the under 18 All Valley Karate Tournament. So, you know, we're there. He's given the karate speech. Everybody's in love with the Cobra Kai again. back, they're throwing t-shirts out. It's fantastic. John Creeze is back from the dead.

Everybody's happy. Nobody even remembers he fucking strangled William Zabkin that parking lot. Does not even matter. Nobody's questioning why Danielson has a black belt when he clearly hasn't earned it. Yeah, exactly. A lot of that. And then it's like we come in, it's right when

karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes, like finishes the match that's going to get him to fight Danielson. So we don't even in an opportunity to see multiple fucking karate matches. We just skip right to the last... We could be further and further intimidated by Mike Barnes. Exactly. If you ever wanted

to reprise you're the best around, which you fucking should because it's a karate kid movie. You bet your ass, God damn it. Let's see another montage of fucking karate fights. It's so ridiculous. So then it's like we get to the fight. Mike Barnes clearly is just cheating the entire time. This ref that looks like character actor

Michael Jeter just like keeps yelling at him to stop cheating. Well Terry Silver, again, like he's Here's the thing, Terry Silver, you've sunk enough time and money into this thing. Let's win this karate championship and go home. But no, no, no, no. The master stroke is about to happen. He's like, look, you're not only going to beat this kid in this karate tournament,

which you so easily can. And he can. Oh, yeah. But you're going to fight dirty for the first three rounds. Let him get a point, and you walk away with a point. So it goes to sudden death, and then you're going to beat it. Yeah, keep going back and forth. Like, get a point, and then get a point retracted for cheating.

And it's like, it's the idea is like to build them up so that it hurts even more when we take him down. But if I'm karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes, I'm like, well, you know what? I'm doing some mental math in my head. I'm like, you know what? That's not in my contract. Nope. In my contract is beating this kid in this karate tournament. I'm not going to jeopardize this payday.

Because I'm karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes, and I'm a fucking professional. And I've read that contract backwards and forwards. And I know that there's no loophole in there that says Terry Silver gets to dictate if I fuck with this kid or not. No, exactly. So I'm going to go. I'm going to kick. him a bunch of times and knock them down I'll get the three points and it's over with

then I'm 50% deep in Cobra Guy yep and it's amazing so I mean it's useless it's great so he beats the shit out of him like he gets a bunch of illegal points and you know he kicks a loser really bad the stomach and he's like he's yelling him on his

he's on the ground he's like you're shit your karate shit that old man was fucking with you you never learned anything about karate he's a phony your karate shit your shit and I'm like Man, karate's bad boy Mike Barnes is kind of right. He is because fucking Laruso. Mike Barnes went to Harvard karate.

Laruso got home karate. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. Nobody's looking at that lesson plan. And we get to sudden death. Mr. Miyagi gives this like totally brief motivational speech about like you just got to focus. Get back in there and just do it. Like focus on your karate.

And he just does it. And he gets to the one point and he wins. Yeah. It's sudden death, so he needs the one point, and he wins, and then this movie, although there's one great line that I just got to quickly interject, Terry Silver is saying little lines to John Crease on the side of, oh, yeah, yeah. He's relishing it. This is, this is six months into making it. Watching bad boy, he's karate. Karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes fighting this kid. And he's just, he's going, I love it when he pounds him. Look, you've spent weeks engineering a man's downfall. And here it is in front of you. I love it when he pounds him. and he wins and then like after all of this after all of the side stories and this and that and the other thing it's a fucking freeze frame in almost like mid sentence of him like hugging miagi and that's the end of the movie he's like looking at his shoes or something totally disinterested you don't know if like this needs to end with terry silver going to jail maybe my bad boy mike brown goes to jail certainly john crees should be locked up well i think bad uh karate's bad boy mike barn should go to jail i don't know by Mike Brown. Karate's bad boy Mike Brown is just fine.

He's the Patsy. He's the karate Patsy. Oh, but Cleveland coach Mike Brown. Cleveland Cavalier basketball coach Mike Brown. And then, I mean, and that's the end of it. And then, you know, we go into kind of a badass song of the credits. It's not you're the best around. It's some other song.

Yeah, I think it's not even a Pita Catera song. Not even a Pita Catera song. I think it's like fucking foreigner or something. I don't remember. But then, I mean, and that's it. And that's the end of our fucking Daniel son karate saga. We don't know anything. We don't know anything about him.

We don't know if he goes to college. If, like, certainly the karate thing's a one and done, now two and done situation. Oh, absolutely. I think I just remember the song. I think it goes something like, listen to your heart. I mean, it's the one thing you can say about these karate kid movies, whether it's listen to your heart or you're the best around. There's always fucking killer music. 80s music, man.

You got to love it. It goes well with bad beer. Bad beer and great Coke. would anybody recommend karate kid part three yes enthusiastically i've seen this movie probably at least 15 times that's embarrassing but

you know it's just something that was always on television when I was growing up and um I mean it's it's fun and dumb it's definitely the worst of the the three I think next karate kids are worse right but of the original the machio trilogy right it's at the

bottom but it's it's kind of a fun bottom because it's like it's like it stops caring to be a good movie and it's just dumb dumb you know dumb shit come on i i totally agree i i think it's really stupid it's really fun it's a bit long uh but that's just what you're getting into with these karate kid i know i mean we're like eight minutes shy at two hours so it's not longer than star wars but it fucking feels longer than star it does and i mean like you know terry silver is great

all the supporting like without terry silver and this kind of bat shit plot all of the Moucho stuff's really boring. This is a movie for the villains. It is. It really is. It's like a Batman movie. You know? Like, it's like, oh, man. Thomas Ian Griffith was the Joker of this movie. He pledgered this movie. He was great.

He was great. And, yeah, I'm a wholehearted recommend on this movie. As far as the Machio trilogy, I'm a real 213 guy. Yeah, I think you're not wrong. Yeah, that's kind of the way I fall with it. Because they're fighting for the death of the second one, man. I know, yeah. I mean, the first...

I got to rewatch it. The first one's a little two kids movie of your mom. mind taste. But man, fucking ending a blood feud, begging for death. I mean, that's what you want. And the outfits. My God, the outfits that they're wearing. The little drum thing is fantastic. So I'm a 2-1-3 guy, but this is, I mean, it's so ridiculous. And these villains are fantastic. It's a wholehearted recommend. Oh, yeah. I mean, what was the point of making that next Karate Kid movie? I don't get it. I mean, it's, well, the weird thing is how did they not do a sequel to that hugely successful Jackie Chan movie that came out?

I think it might be... With Little General. Around the corner or something, but Little General is just so busy. I haven't seen it. I don't want to see it. I don't give a shit about it. I don't, you know, like, I just, it's not for me.

Like, if people like it, that's great. I just know... I know where my bread is buttered. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't care to see that. I think Chris Cabin's actually said that it's kind of an okay movie. I'm sure it is, but I want to watch a winy Italian kid Pester and old Japanese, man. That's the whole point.

Isn't that the whole fucking point here? That is all. That's what made me fun. Are my eyes on backwards, or what? What are we talking to here? Am I crazy? That's the Karate Kid, part three from 1989, directed by John Adelson. You want to get a hold of us.

Check out our website, WHMpodcast.com. Like us on Facebook. And follow us on Twitter. We're at WHM Podcast. Right into the mailbag. We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. What order do you place the Karate Kid films in? Subscribe to the show in iTunes.

Rate and review there, if you could. We would greatly appreciate that. If you have the Stitcher Radio app, you can stream us on the go with the five most recent episodes on the Stitcher Radio app. Rate and review us there. If you could, we would appreciate it. Blame it on outer space. Eric Siska's conspiracy theory takedown show now running biweekly. Blaming on outerspace.com at Blam Spacepad on Twitter. What is in the works for B-I-O-O-S? The Holy Bible.

Oh, shit. What's that a fucking six-parter? Well, you know, we're just talking a couple different things on there. it's you know stuff like uh was uh jesus an alien and uh sodom and gamora was that uh nuclear explosion tune in find out well there you go blame it on outerspace dot com rate review those guys in iTunes as well if you like us talking about karate kid you should definitely download the app but you should definitely check out on band camp doing an animation damnation on the karate kid cartoon show and uh if you were thinking yourself man i really think karate kid part three might be a good idea

but where's all the magic? It's all in that cartoon. So Steve's right. Grab the app or check out our bandcamp page for the Karate Kid cartoon discussion. The third installment of the very popular animation damnation. Clue for next week, Eric Siska. Anthony Michael Hall.

Holy crap, everybody. Let that tickle your brain for a week. Until then, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Zeta. Eric Siska. Take it easy. I love it when he pounds!