We Hate Movies - S4 Ep154: Hail Caesar
Episode Date: April 22, 2014In this week's episode, the gang tackles the laughless, Anthony Michael Hall passion project, Hail Caesar! How did something like this get the green light? Why did Robert Downey agree to this nothing ...role? And how dare they drop a secret music video into this film? PLUS: The search for laughs turns up zero results. Hail Caesar stars Anthony Michael Hall, Bobbie Phillips, Leslie Danon, Samuel L. Jackson, Judd Nelson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Downey Sr., and Frank Gorshin; directed by Anthony Michael Hall... for some reason. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies
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Hey Chicago and other surrounding or outlying areas just wanted to put a reminder out there Saturday night, May 3rd at 8 p.m.
We're doing We Hate Movies Chicago at the Lincoln Loft and we will be discussing, man, Blues Brothers 2000.
Aren't you jealous? You're not going to be there to fucking sit through that shit?
I am not. I am really, I don't remember. I just remember a blur of terrible from that movie. That's all I got.
I think that's what most of the reviews said
was it's just a blur of terrible.
Yeah, I'm a little jealous to be on this.
I will be out there hosting the show
along with our good buddy
NWHM disaster movie expert
Justin J. Case, along with a couple other
of our Chicago friends. We're going to be putting on this show.
There are still some tickets available.
You can go to the Lincolnloft.com
or visit the Lincolnloft on Facebook.
There's an event bright page
where all you got to do is go up there, man.
Reserve your ticket.
you will be good to go
there's going to be beer
there's going to be clips from the movie
there's going to be more beer
which is necessary for something like this
and we're all going to sit around
and talk about this
catastrophic
cinematic event
that you know the first movie
it's like the most famous
Chicago Land movie ever
and then this movie
this sequel of theirs
that didn't even fucking
come out in the year 2000.
It's like goddamn Inspector Gadget.
It really is.
Like, things are popping out of things.
Also, let's keep in mind that, you know,
this is like a Dan Aykroyd Passion Project.
And what's another one of his?
Oh, yeah, Ghostbusters 3.
That dude just loves
useless sequels.
I'm just saying it probably won't be good.
Why couldn't I be, but really,
why couldn't that's,
why couldn't Blues Brothers 2000 have stalled out time after time again?
It's Ghostbusters 2000.
I would have much rather
Ghostbusters 2000. Just ruin
the fucking thing and get it over with and stop
with this anticipation. I've
said it before on this show, but I am sick
and fucking tired of hearing about Ghostbusters
3. Fuck it. I hope
it never gets made. But what did get
made was Blues Brothers 2000.
They fucking acknowledged that Jake
Blues died in prison.
My God, this movie.
Oh, my fucking Lord.
So... Yeah, what time was that again?
It's May 3rd, Saturday night.
It's a Saturday night, man. Saturday
night in Chicago
8 p.m. at the Lincolnloft
at the Lincolnloft.com or check out
the Lincoln loft on Facebook. A few
tickets remaining. Don't slack Chicago.
We'll see you there.
Hello, Mandra Jupin.
Eric Sis Kavana. And we
hate movies.
Hello, everyone, welcome to the program.
Thank you for tuning in to our fine little show.
If you're here for the first time, welcome, take off your jacket, have a seat.
Get ready to, get ready to snuggle up.
Hey, you're in the back.
Get that jacket off.
Take that jacket off.
And the hat.
The stets in two.
The hat, the jacket.
Get ready to snuggle.
It's Anthony Michael Hall's Passion Project,
1994's Hail
Caesar
So yeah you better pay attention to
God damn it this movie is awful
There's nothing good
What? What?
We watch the same movie?
Obviously not
I want to be wherever you were
I want to be in your like
Your fever dream version of this
At the head I will say this of this movie
If you were ever like you know
We got some younger listeners
That were maybe born in the 90s
And don't really know what it was like
To live in the 90s
90s you know a lot of
you know you've seen a bunch of 90s movies
sure yeah you probably saw clueless
right but they got it wrong
but that was like that was the glam that was
like the well no what I'm trying to say here
is there's a lot of movies great movies
that were made in the 90s that don't feel as dated
because they weren't specifically trying
to make dated movies
this is so dated
it's like you're it's like
I'm there in 94 again
oh it's a real time capsule motion
picture that's for sure funny enough
Like the same year, Pulp Fiction came out.
You can watch Pulp Fiction in 2014, and you don't really know what year was said in.
What's the common thread between these two movies?
One Samuel L. Jackson, which we'll get to.
But I mean, this movie is like being thrown...
Same year.
Being thrown head first into a bugle boy outlet.
Oh, and just deal with it.
Look around you and take it in, motherfucker.
man bugle boy i have not thought about bugle boy denim in a long
oh yeah and they the bright colors are all over the fucking place oh you know it was more uh
arizona jeans mm-hmm you know yeah i had a lot of arizona jeans too you know what
was the sad thing about me and i was because you know i've always been a bigger guy uh i was a
big fan of the big dog t-shirts where you could get like the big dog as like scarface or
the big dog oh that blues brother that big dog had a
a lot of different incarnations. Yes, he did. He did a lot of sporting events, too.
Oh, yeah. He was playing a lot of sports that big dog. I mean, I wasn't, but he was.
Well, that was the thing. As long as you wore, as long as you wore a big dog t-shirt where big dog was playing football, it was like you were playing football.
I mean, yeah, it was an inspiration. I looked down. I was like, hey, yeah, I'm good enough. I'm doing good.
Now, Chris Cabin shed some light on the next mystery that we have to go along with this motion picture, which is the fact that one of the credits that comes up says, based on a story,
by Mark Twain and they don't bother to tell you what it is like usually I mean if it's a story like
you want to say it right they say you know like they say the title of the story yeah like
unjustified it's like based on fire in the hall yeah you know so you know like what the short
story and I'm no no no and I MDB it doesn't even say that it was his source material man mark
Twain's I'm db is one less credit that's unbelievable I mean there's probably 300 now on the
Mark Twain thing but this is based off
of something called the
Capitoline Venus,
which was a short story of his,
and it's kind of, I read it today,
and it kind of goes along like a play.
And it's basically about a man
who wants to marry a girl,
but he's an artist, he's a sculptor.
And to get the money to impress her father,
right,
his friend
essentially butchers one of his
one of his pieces
buries it
and pretends that
like it was some old fossil
and like when they pull it out
wow
they think it's based on
a pretty famous swindle from
our own New York
called the Cardiff Giant
which is this great hoax
about like an atheist
buried a statue of
a made up giant
Yeah, a little, I don't know if you knew this, Chris, that was mentioned on Blame It on Outerspace. Episode episode on Giants.
There you go.
Blame it on Outerspace.com at BlameSpacepot on Twitter.
Boom.
You're right.
I was like, that, why is that ringing a bell?
Yeah, you're right.
Because disaster expert Justin J. Kates was on there, too, I think.
Wow, it's all coming back to me.
Wow, this episode's really making a lot of connections.
Yes.
So the piece, Twain's piece, was based off of that hoax.
So I can, you know, so from that description of the short story, we'll see how the film, you know, kind of took from that story.
Put that in your back pocket and sit back. We'll see if that happens again.
So Anthony Michael Hall, you know, always the nerd, never the bride, you know.
Until today. Exactly. Well, actually, no, because he had made, um,
this was 93 he had made what was that movie johnny be good
where he's the he's the quarterback that's like but that's 89
that's what i'm saying though so like he was now into this like i can be the cool guy thing
because what's so obnoxious about this movie is how ultra cool this dude thinks he is
and he's like the most obnoxious like hummingbird in your ear kind of character
that's the thing is that you think it's a parody at first you think
he's making fun of this character no the first like couple things you're like oh obviously you can't
take this guy for serious i mean look look at this look what he's doing i think this was like you know
his interpretation of like what it was to be like a really cool dude in 1993 los angeles
like it's i think it's like that specific that's what this character is what's weird though
and i think eric i said this to you the first time i watched this was this is a movie with a plot
that feels very 1980s and we've dealt with these movies before and I can't recall what specifically now
but these movies where it's a 1980s plot stuck in a 1990s movie and it just doesn't work like that
shit just does not compute like the jokes you're trying to tell the style of humor you're trying
to use it's the style of humor I think that really does it because this is a very precise very dry very
you know this is this supposed to be a little meta if if i'm never going to say that ever again
but it's supposed to be kind of distanced and like detached from all this stuff and
this never finds that tone at all like it wants to be that movie but it can't figure out exactly
what it should be it can't and you know you got a lot of people running around in this movie
that are like names now yeah or were names and then we're kind of in slum
that are in this movie. But you think of
like Sam Jackson and
Robert Downey Jr.'s in this movie. Like
you're looking at all these people like, okay, so
I know that this person
you know, kind of has this kind of comedic
sensibility. You know, like Robert Downey
Jr. in this movie, you're like, all right. Oh, I know most
recently Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man.
Like, where is the kind of Tony Stark
kind of comedy? But he's so
fucking coked out in this movie.
It's just, it's unbelievable.
I mean, drugs cannot blame, but
can't be blamed for all of this. I mean,
Drugs should be blamed for most of this movie,
but they don't get the whole.
They really can't take the whole bullets.
Drugs are bad.
Really, really bad.
Make you watch Hail Caesar again
to you stop smoking that pot.
And I mean, Anthony Michael Hall has this fucking mellow yellow,
like, shitty glom of hair.
It's disgusting.
And it also changes color in the movie, by the way.
So really quickly, like the gist of this film,
he is a guy who's fucking god-given name is julius caesar by the way
mggeruder julius caesar mcruiter so he calls himself julius caesar
ad nauseum yeah of course sure but you're gonna milk that shit till the cows come home
your little julius mcruiter that's what you are
oh julius mcruiter i'm gonna be a i'm gonna be a big rock and roll star someday
and i'm gonna go by julius caesar and i'm gonna treat everybody
like shit. They're all going to get
shit. He treats everyone
like fucking shit in this way. He stumps on
any throat he can. So he's this guy.
He's Julius Caesar Magruder.
He's an orphan.
His parents left him this big house.
His parents were archaeologists
specializing in
like Greek and Roman history
and stuff. It's the name.
There's a sign by the way
it's like a newspaper cut out
that he's framed. He's framed
a thing of his parents' death.
Why would you frame this?
It says that his parents were eaten by cannibals.
Motherfuckers got this frame.
Because, you know, I think he's like, you know, he probably has like a Julius Caesar, you know, kind of complex.
And he's like, they're finally gone.
I'm going to put their death notice up here because I am the king of this castle now.
But he has it in, like, he's front hallway.
Like, put that in, like, the closet.
Like, just so, like, I can imagine if you want to make this character dark, he's got an empty room.
what used to be his parents' room
and he's got this
this hang these like
this like plastered or framed
all over that room
and he just walks in there as like
oh I fucking hate life
but like that I can imagine
but he just has this thing
fucking there for everybody to see guests
and like excuse me honey I'm going to go
seethe in my dead parents room
I'll be back in 15 angry minutes
yeah that's not going to be good for the real estate salesman
when he has to come back
so he's an orphan
He's got this house, and you know, you have this kind of situation where you've inherited this house, probably a little bit of money.
And you think maybe I'll invest it in a college education, make my parents proud?
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, let's just blow it on, presumably drugs and rock and roll dreams, man.
And here we go.
And it's this kind of movie, right?
Where he's in a band that's terrible.
They're barely a band.
They've got two songs or something like that.
And you know what their name is?
it's the titular hail Caesar yeah it's the very same and uh they're terrible they've never
really had that many gigs you don't really see them play a gig in this movie but it's the whole like
we just got to get that demo cut and then we're going to be working at the record company
and all of this shit and we're going to be super famous it's not like pursuing uh rock and roll
earnestly it's like a get rich quick scheme yes exactly and it's it just reminded you
of all those dudes in high school
that were in a band, right?
And it's like, man, all we got to do
is just get the demo to the label.
Just once the label hears it, that's it.
And then, you know, demo plus label
equals dollar signs, bro.
Let's do it.
Yeah, but Airheads did it so much better.
Oh, Airheads did it way fucking better.
And that's like the same time.
I think maybe a year later or something like that.
Yeah, it's the same air.
I mean, it's like 95, 96, I want to say.
Yeah. And also, the great thing about Airheads,
those dudes are making like music of the time like they're kind of like a grunge band almost maybe more on like the metal side it's more of a metal I mean they're trying to be like anthrax kind of yes yeah yeah yeah you're right and like this movie like you hear these this Hail Caesar play a tune and he's trying to do like super cool like fuck rock you know what I mean I mean it's not fart rock by the way it's it's specifically fuck rock like she's coming over
and you can't even
fucking take it anymore.
I mean, that's a poor example.
No, it's not.
There is a song where it's just like,
high heels, black dress,
fucking her. And like, that's
the whole fucking song, man.
You sound like an asshole.
Man, I remember, reminded me of this
time, me
and our good buddy, Steve Sadek
and disaster movie expert
Justin J. K.S. and our friend
Sean Winer, who's been on the show a bunch of times.
we were at this bar
in upstate New York
and it was a train station
central bar
you know what I mean
so it's one of those bars
I have an idea of where this was
yeah it's an Irish bar up there
yeah no I know what you're talking about
quote Irish bar by the way
anyway I'll make this quick
there's a shitty band playing
it's a shitty band called
four dogs playing poker
oh come on it's a cover band right
and we're just watching these dudes play
and they're playing like fuck songs
right the same thing right
this this singer wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses inside it's like it's like a friday night and he's like yeah oh yeah who's ready to rock tonight yeah it's fucking friday isn't it ladies and gentlemen yeah we're all gonna get fuck tonight we were all like wait pardon
well just just stop taking a sip of our warm beer for a second wait what did you wait by you by the four dogs playing poker i'm talking to you
say that'd be great he just calls his name steve runs out yeah yeah anyway it's not it's not poker the
game it's poke her yeah but you wouldn't know that unless you bought one of their t-shirts that were
for sale so this movie he wants to make a name for himself in this band but yeah more importantly
he just wants to make a quick buck and it's him a bass player who's this girl annie
and then this drummer who's from russia named vlad and he's just a fucking cartoon
character of a Russian person.
Big time.
It's like offensive.
And also it's like, it's fucking 1993.
Like, Cold War's over, man.
Stop with Russian caricatures.
Wait until 2014.
Then you can pick it back up again.
It's appropriate now.
It wasn't appropriate in 1993.
Just had to wait it out, man.
So the other, the other thorn in his side, the other part of his life is he's got this
lady friend, his girlfriend, who's named Buffer.
A buffer.
What kind of name is that?
I don't even know.
This actress, I forget her name, but
she's done a whole lot of red shoe
diaries. She's done a whole lot of red shoe diaries.
But where I remember her from
is she plays Bambi.
Wait, wait.
A scientist. This is sounding familiar.
A scientist named Bambi on the X-Files.
Yes.
Yes.
And the War of the Coppaphages.
The one with the cockroaches, where the cockroaches are
killing people.
That's right.
She's the,
she's the scientist named Bambi and I was like
Mandy, whatever, yeah.
Yeah, two fucking stupid-ass names, huh, honey?
So she's buffer and she's rich
and she's a total like, Daddy,
oh, oh my God, Daddy,
buy me a new car.
Oh, good, you know.
And by the way, her father is
what he likes to call
an honest arms dealer.
He's just, but he's got his
scuzzy hands in a lot of operations,
including we'll find out
an eraser factory.
Right, yeah.
So, I mean, he's just a cartoon character.
He's a cartoon, he's like a cartoon conservative, right?
There's a gigantic Reagan painting in his office.
He's got like a bar with a Reagan painting.
And he didn't even hang it up.
He just has it on the counter.
Because he always wants to be eye level with Ronald Reagan at all times.
He's just got to swivel that desk chair around.
He respects him, but he's not going to look up to him.
We're equals.
And you know what?
He knows that Reagan would have approved that.
Yeah.
Oh, I get it.
You want me at high level.
We're not better than anyone else.
Makes a lot of sense to me, sir.
Except for the poor.
Except for the poor and the Jews and the blacks and the gays and the lesbians.
Well, everybody else.
Make sure your servants crawl on the floor in front of my day.
Speaking of servants and speaking of a slum in it,
so we get a scene where Julius goes to visit Buffer at her huge McMansion,
answering the door.
Robert Downey
Not RDJ
The Papa Bear
RDS
Yeah
RDS
Yeah
And the butler
Your hat flies off
Your head watching this
So take him off
It's unbelievable
I mean he is
He's a great filmmaker
His movies are fucking hilarious
Like that guy
Really did stuff
You know in the 60s
And in the 70s
He's a super sweet guy
I got to meet him one time
Fantastic dude
Dude. Did you ask him about
Hail Caesar? No, I didn't know about it
at the time. This was like five, six years ago.
I wish I did.
No, but like the door opens
and I'm like, oh, no.
This is
and this is what this is, right?
Because also R.D.J. is in the movie.
But you figure, right?
Like one day R.D.J. goes up to RDS
and he's like, hey, Pop, got to ask you a favor.
Remember my annoying friend
that you hate, AMH?
Yeah, AMH is making a movie.
Oh, that's great.
That's great.
Another friend of yours making a movie.
He's like, now listen, he needs some help with it.
Maybe throw him a couple thousand dollars.
And I don't know, maybe you could play a role in it, Dad.
Like, wouldn't that be great?
You love acting, right?
It's a comedy.
You made a lot of comedies.
This would be great.
Just playing this butler.
And it's really shitty.
And I don't know.
And this is another thing I was talking about of like a lot of mixed messages
and mixed styles and everything in this movie
a lot of RDS's movies
just because of the nature of the way he was making
them there's a lot of bad ADR going on
there's a lot of just bad dubbing and sometimes
intentionally bad dubbing
in this movie inhale Caesar
all of RDS's lines are bad
dubs like it's all him
like just being snooty because he also
hates Julius understandably
you know it's one of those things where like this dude's not even good
enough in the butler's eyes kind of a thing
and he'll make these noises when he answers the door for Anthony Michael Hall like
and it's just these fucking noises and Robert Downey Sr. is not even making them.
Yeah.
It's like fun.
Do you think that was like homage to his short films and stuff or was it just poor filmmaking on Anthony Michael Hall?
I'm going to go with Choice B.
Yeah, you know what?
It was intended as Choice A, but it was definitely a product of Choice B.
See, but that's, I wonder if Anthony Michael Hall actually tried to sell him on this.
Like, look, I'm adapting on Mark Twain's story.
I have this really, like, interesting take-out.
It's going to be, like, really, like, dry, ironic humor.
And, you know, we're going to, like, we're going to take a look at this fucking generation, man.
And, like, I mean, I mean, yeah, once, I mean, once, I mean, what you saw the daily.
We're just taking a look, by the way.
Just just peek in a little bit.
We're not saying anything.
We're not learning anything.
We're not trying to change anything.
Just take a little look at this.
and he saw the dailies and he shit himself and like
I refuse to talk in this motion picture now
yeah now see if you can have me in your movie
because I mean the art I mean of all the things I know I mean
it's the artiness of it that really drives me nuts
the artiness the like the forced like the way certain lines are being
delivered the way he's swiveling his head at all times
there's a whole lot of talking to the camera in this movie
like it's like one of the
the major things is a monologue he has at the beginning where he's just fucking here's what it is right so it's the statue it's a fake venus demilo statue and there's a guitar slung around it okay because that's what we're doing here this is if you go see hail caesar in concert there's a fucking shitty plaster venus de milo statue with a guitar slung over its shoulder right and then these arms as if illusion itself is taking place
come out from behind
the armless Venus de Milo
can you fucking stomach how cool
this is so far? Oh my God, what's happening?
And then we're just, we get some hot
licks on this guitar man and you're like
oh, great. And then he peeks
out and he's like, oh, didn't
see you there. How'd you enjoy my fucking
pussy killing guitar list?
And then Marcus the tech guy's like,
will you get the fuck off the stage?
Oh, that's the best part. And it's this
totally like unexplained situation
where this guy is like, hey,
Buddy, why don't you get out of here?
Soundcheck ended an hour ago?
It's like, what venue is this?
What band is actually playing?
What the fuck are you doing?
How did you get in here?
It's a question for the character in this situation, and it's a question for Anthony
Michael Hall in the director's chair of this movie.
How did you get in here?
I think it's possible that this club exists in the basement of his McMansion.
He just got a guy down there.
And Hail Caesar Cave and get booked in his own goddamn palace.
he hired a guy
get the fuck out
he hired a guy not knowing
and the guy didn't know
that he had a band
and he goes up
he's like
yeah no you're not good
that
so they're having
a band practice
oh yeah
by the way
I'm sorry
we just have to
quickly mention
he does an insanely
bad British accent
at the start of this too
because there's like a fake out
like oh you thought
I was a British musician
but I'm not
isn't that great
it's just
my mind just keeps
getting blown
by Anthony Michael Hall
in this movie
ironically while Anthony Michael
Hall is blowing himself while making this
movie it's a real snake
eating itself situation here
so yes he's at
band practice one day and
there's a there's a there's a dog
that he's got and the dog
named chaos which is great
and so this dog
this dog hates the mailman
and who do we see strolling up the block
whistling a jaunty tune
Sam Jackson as this
fucking male man, dude. And like, yeah,
it's, it's 94.
Yeah. Sam Jackson's not a big
star yet. But by the way, you can
you know, he was on the cusp of stardom
because his cult fiction came out the same year and you can actually
see. He'd done some Spikeley movies
since then also. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good fellas.
They do the right thing. But
he has
the sideburns. You're right.
And the gartee of like, it looks like
he's either like, he's like
growing it in or shaving it off or something.
It's like in between the jewels.
character of Pulp Fiction.
You're totally right. I didn't even think
about that. Yeah, it's either just
after Pulp Fiction or he's gearing up
for it and he was like, fuck it, I'll do this
piece of shit mailman roll before I go work
with the Reservoir Dogs guy.
And I mean, do you want to talk about
the picket off the bottom of your fucking
shoe jokes?
It's the fucking
mailman and the dog joke
and that's all he's there for.
And Sam Jackson, by the way, doesn't even get to
have a joke about how it's clearly a racist
this dog. This dog doesn't
fuck with anybody else, but the poor black
male man. That's a thing that's
happening and nobody addresses
this. That's a weird thing.
White dog, right? It's not white dog.
Sam Fuller's white dog, dude, exactly.
That's a good movie. That is a good
movie. But yeah,
so like this whole, and this is the
kind of humor I can't stand in movies like this
where we're like just
flagrantly defying the laws
of physics for no reason. Like,
If you want to have your dog attack the mailman, that's fine.
It's a dumb joke, but just have the dog like jump the fence or something.
Run out the doggy door and attack the mailman.
No, no, no, no.
Because this dog is a gigantic menacing Rottweiler named Chaos,
motherfuckers got to jump up on the front door and knock the shit off the hinges,
crushing Samuel L. Jackson beneath this door.
Give me a break.
Yeah, and then the wily coyote runs by.
but the thing is it's like it's it's one of these you know early mid-90s kind of indie comedies so it
they all all of them almost all of them are self-important cartoons yeah yeah and it's just like
it's insane and it's all like a lot of it is just vignettes and it's all back the worst production
value you can ever get another giganticly obvious and confusing rip-off in this movie
Sam Jackson's theme song
is totally just like
a blatant rip-off of the Seinfeld
theme song. It's like, you see
him walking and it's just this electronic
bass noise going do do-do do-de-do-do-do-do-do-d-d-d-d-d-d-
And I'm like, okay,
everybody fucking knows what the
Seinfeld theme song sounds like when you're
making this movie, you know, in
1993. Like, the show's out,
it's popular.
Don't, what the, what the fuck are you even
doing? I mean, it's just
one of those things where whenever I hear a like a plucked bass, I'm like, oh, Seinfeld?
Like whenever I, you know, it could be in the middle of a song and it just plunk.
So yeah, you have to be aware of that. You have to be aware of what your time is.
I feel like this was also just like, yeah, that's fine. Let's just keep going.
Yeah. You know, like, we'll finish the movie quick. Come on.
So, yeah, he's got it. He's, you see that what the tension in this movie is, is Annie, the bass player, who's really intimate.
making this band work
and then the
Russian fellow there he could go either way
I mean he's eaten toes or something
and then there's
there's Julius Caesar
and they got this band she really wants to make
this band work and he is
in this tug of war like my dedication to
the band versus my dedication to
buffer so it's the
old like oh man I was supposed to big buffer
up an hour ago hops in
his shitty motorcycle
with side car because that shit
never stops being hilarious.
I guess.
And then he drove it to Garden State.
You know the one time those fucking vehicles were funny in duck soup?
It's the only time.
And it's like, that's not the only time there's a weird Marks Brothers thing in this movie.
Because when we see RDS answering the door, he's doing the Groucho Marx's like long stride walk that he would do.
Like he does that when he walks away from the door.
I'm like, why do we need these
homages to a great
fucking comedy team?
Like, get the Marx brothers out of this
Hail Caesar movie, Anthony Michael Hall.
I mean, that's what this movie is.
I mean, it really is one of those movies that tries to,
like, we're not going to have a tone
because having a tone would be buying into the whole fucking thing, man.
Yeah.
And like, but there are movies like that.
And, I mean, like Robert Downey Sr.'s movies
where they work with that.
Because you have a certain idea of what the non,
tone is going to be.
But with this movie, though, it's like, you know,
and yeah, you got like RDS here and whatever.
Like, you're not making fucking Babo 73 or Greaser's Palace or, you know, any of those.
Like, you're making this movie that's not saying something.
And the unfortunate thing is every one of Robert Downey Sr.'s movies has some fucking message to it in some way or another.
Oh, wait. Oh, wait. There's a point to this.
Wait a minute. My movie's got to have a point.
Oh, God.
Oh, okay.
Well, my point is I'm a cool guy.
I play guitar sometimes.
And I'm willing to bet on my fiancé.
Oh, this bet, by the way.
So we'll get to that.
So it's this whole thing where they're supposed to go out on a date.
She's pissed at him because he's late or whatever.
And they do this thing where he goes, you know, RDS lets him in the house and he's waiting
in the foyer there, you know.
And she comes down the stairs and it's like the classic Hollywood, you know, beautiful
girl coming down the stairs the sweeping
music and boy oh boy do we
get a hilarious record scratch
sound and she turns into a
whole fucking bitch oh
no for what
it's like she's smiling at
him and then it's like record
scratch and she like drops the smile
where have you been she's like uh
you're late and I'm like oh wow
I was fooled by this movie
oh my god why wouldn't you make
like the whole like a spoiler alert
the whole movie is about how
how he has to prove his love for this woman.
Why not make her kind of likable?
Like even kind of likeable.
Just kind of.
I mean, yeah.
Other than just this terrible person who rides him the whole time.
Yeah.
And then hates her father.
There's no point in pursuing this girl.
No.
I mean, it's her and Annie.
And Annie's like a non-person.
The only lines I hear from her are, well, you got to do the practice.
Oh my God, Julie.
You're going to be late for the practice again.
There's badness to be better, Julius.
We had that last kick and it totally tanked.
You need to be here at practice, Julius.
Like, that's that character.
Yeah.
Who, spoil alert, he fucking winds up with at the end of this movie for no good goddamn reason.
Oh, I'll tell you the reason.
What's that?
Hot sex.
No, no, she's just there.
Yeah, you got that straight.
That's how picky, Julius sees it is.
I had to tell the guys when I came in the room here is that I just didn't.
know her name. Well, why would you?
She's supposed to, apparently she's the love
of his life at the end of this movie. I have no
idea what her fucking name is.
So for the moment, he's still pursuing
Buffer and the, her
old man does not like Julius Caesar.
He brandishes a gun.
Just waving his gun around wildly.
Am I wrong? Is there a gun
noise sound effect in this scene, too?
I might have hallucinated it.
A gun goes off.
He fires a gun at this case.
A gun. So what, yeah, what
happens is like and this it's another thing like the really shoddy editing in this movie and you're like
you said chris it feels like a lot of vignettes a lot of times there's these scenes that we're just
trying to pass the time until we can connect to the other vignette so like when he picks her up
they're supposedly going on this date but all you see of them is like they're at a lover's lane
type thing for two seconds she doesn't want to have anything to do with them so they drive home and
And then he's like, oh, by the way, I can't go to your big party buffer because I have band practice.
And she calls him a selfish jerk.
And then that's it.
And then the next, it's like, and then he just has to go to the band and be like, oh, by the way, can't make practice.
Got to go to Buffers party.
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And now we're just back at the
fucking rich guy's house that we
were just at four minutes ago.
Like, it's so poorly constructed
this movie. Oh yeah. Also,
on top of that, for no
good reason. We have Julius Caesar back
at the door knocking on the door again.
What the fuck do I want to see that again for?
He's just, he's wearing a different shirt.
It's because you have to get more
hilarious gags in with Robert Downey
Sr. having dubbed dialogue.
Poor man.
So she's having this big party
or it's the dad's party. I don't, you know,
someone's having a party at this house.
And it's all like the swankiest of the
swank people, you know. And the dad,
by the way, we should mention, he's got this
kiss-ass number two.
brown-nosed guy. I've just been referring
to as dinkus. He's
kind of just a dinkist little neocon
piece of shit. Would have worked well at the
bad fraternity in PCU.
Oh, yeah, balls and shaft. Yeah, balls and shaft. They were on
neocons too. By the way,
movie put out in 193,
94. Totally.
Like, you want that 90s
time capsule movie, PCU
to the extreme. Yeah, big time
90s time capsule, but actually
I think a good movie,
a fun movie. I consider that to be a classic
comedy. That movie
to me is up there with the best college comedies.
How many movies have had the insight
to fucking put a whole entire
set from Parliament Funkadelic
in the middle of their movies?
Not many people have had that.
You know what? David Fincher never thought of that shit.
Also, you don't see many
Portchester Whooping Crings. No, not
many. It's true.
But like, man, yeah.
fucking parliament parliament
Funkadelic comes in and plays a set in the middle of Hail Caesar
you got yourself a solid C plus
could
that's I mean
but now that's the question
does George Clinton in the parliament
Funkadelic
rescue this movie
because without without
the P-Funk All-Stars in PCU
it's still a good movie
yeah it's just that's like the icing
and the cherry on top all in one
well my suggestion here's the difference
is that in PCU like you there's
Well, there's all these jokes.
There's all these wonderful jokes. There's great comedic
performances. I mean, John, I mean, back
when you cared about Jeremy Piven.
Like, before he forced us all to stop
caring about Jerry Piven. About what he was doing
in general. Like,
here's the thing is that in PCU
you get, you go, you have to cut back to
what else is going on. There's so many storylines
going on that I'm actually invested in. Oh, yeah.
So you're paying attention.
What, why would I, what I would suggest
with the Parliament Funkadelic and their hell
Caesar performance would
be like you get that intro
and you get the guy to
say hey get off the fucking stage
will you and then the parliament
Funkadelic pays the entire set and that's the movie
that's pretty great that's my idea
of how Parliament Fuck Delic saves
this whole movie well unfortunately at this party
there's no George Clinton there's no
Parliament Funkadelic there's just a bunch of stuffed
shirts including one
played by Cato Kalin oh my god
not a line not a line
but you you might remember him from such
performances as the O.J. Simpson murder trial.
You're his finest work today. Yeah.
I mean, that's studied. That's studied. Oh, yeah. Dude, that is measured method acting right there.
But there you go. That's another element for your quintessential 90s time. Yeah, you're right. You want to know what this Cato Caelin dude was all about? Well, he's in this movie.
I guess a bigger than usual extra. So at this party, important thing to get away from this party is,
is that this is where the bet is made.
Just like there's a, you know, the bet we've been talking about.
Right.
But it doesn't even start out as a bet.
He just, the father hates Julius Caesar so much.
He just offers him $50,000 to not talk to Buffer anymore.
You know what?
Take it.
Take it.
He was just like, are you serious?
Which is a good question.
And then he ups it to $100,000.
Fucking take it.
Because here's the other thing.
And I noticed this the second time,
oh, man, the second time I watched this movie.
And that's, in this situation, this kind of rich dude bet you're making, it's real gentleman's bet.
There's no paperwork.
This dude's just going to cut you a check for $100,000.
Right there.
You might just get a fucking briefcase, man.
You might not even have to give it to the goddamn government.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Under the table, 100 grand.
Then just turn back around and try to see her again.
What's this dude going to do?
But also, by the way, she hates your ever-loving guts.
Yeah, she's a bad girlfriend.
Do it and get out of it.
here man it's so and you know even if you you like what's going on with her like dude it's not
going to last forever clearly not you could get a few more in before yeah i mean he's like he's supposed
to be what in this movie like 20 21 maybe maybe even younger like i don't know he gets that letter
flunking out of college yeah oh right right so yeah he might even be like 18 19 or like that's
insane because he's like 35 oh yeah oh yeah but oh yeah but he wrote a
that fucking train for a while
because let me bring you back to 1990
where he plays a teenager
in fucking Edward Cisorhands
and they have the foresight
to make it a joke.
Yeah, it's kind of his character
from Johnny Be Good. It's almost
the same Letterman jacket.
So the bet is
as follows. He has
six months to himself,
Julius Caesar, make
$100,000
and in that time,
he succeeds in making $100,000
in six months or less
then the dad has
to respect him and he gets
to keep seeing buffer you know
and if he fails he's got to
get out of town you know he can't see
you ever again and this is the major thing
it took from the story this was really
the only big thing yeah this whole
six month timetable to
make something of yourself situation
and so this is
you'd think like okay well now like
we're kicked into high gear like
he's really going to start putting the nose to the grindstone writing songs band practice here we go oh what's that side story from out of nowhere
the dad is giving him a job at this pencil eraser factory yeah it's like he's gonna help i'll i'll i'll even make it easier
for you son i will i will even give you a job you know and the the brown nosers just like what but but the thing is like you know the job
less than $200,000 a
year. Oh, yeah. You're working in a
fucking factory. It's not like
if you go to this job for six
months every day, that would be
the equivalent of $100,000 and then I will
respect you. The guy, like the
number two there, like
does the math and he's like, you need
to make like $4,600
a week or something like
that. So it's like,
you know, Anthony Michael Hall, Julius,
just don't
do that. Really try to make something
about this record deal.
Rob the bank.
I don't think a foreman makes that much money.
No, you're not making
$100,000 in six months
at a fucking eraser factory.
You're just not doing it.
The eraser factory, by the way,
is like a weird shadow company
because this dude is like a
seedy arms dealer.
And there's some weird weapon shit
going on in this movie.
The big pink file.
Yeah, which
file that under who could possibly
give a shit. Who could care?
And like, this is what
this is what I hate about these kind of movies
is because you call out this shit
and they're like, well, I mean, look at the movie.
It's not supposed to be taken seriously.
But then why am I watching it?
Why am I watching it?
Like, even when you're making
absurdist things, you have to care about what you're
making absurd.
Oh, yeah. You have
to have a handle on it. You just can't
put a bunch of shit into a movie
And then when it is inevitably terrible, then turn around and be like, well, you're not supposed to take it that series.
I mean, we didn't take it seriously.
Why would you, someone who's presumably paying money to see this movie?
It's like jazz.
You've got to look at the movie he's not making it.
It's like an Albert Ehler solo.
Yeah, I get it.
It's the scenes that are stuck in between the scenes we see, man.
Yeah.
I think you cracked it.
I think we got to think about all the scenes that he's not having in this.
this movie, and it's the greatest
comedy ever made. The movie
that does not
exist here. It's great. It's
fantastic. So he gets a job at this
factory, and the number two's
hooking him up. And
in between this, there's this weird
scene of like,
it's another one of these bizarre monologues.
It's brief for the, and it's just like, you know,
things might be going okay.
And it's like,
it's like him and buffer.
It looks like they're on like a desert planet.
It looks like cat people or something.
Yeah.
They're just like making out.
I forgot about this fucking ridiculous silhouette shot.
And I'm like, oh, aren't you just the first time director we all hate?
Isn't that?
Yeah, you're right.
It's like this ridiculous fucking sun.
The sun is taking up the whole frame of this desert planet.
And the two of them are making out in silhouette.
There's a pretty good shot.
It's neither of the actors because they don't, you can't see.
them it's complete it's even better that you can't see them but it it's like such just thick black
silhouette i thought it was a cartoon for a second i mean that well the male one is is certainly taller
than anthony michael all yeah and like the jaws just a little more chiseled i was like i don't
think those are those actors and the the buffer stand in definitely has different hair than this
actress has in this movie so it's like what why even put this in why do i need this just get to the
fucking eraser fact
once we get to the eraser factory it's still terrible it's still i mean but it's all these
fucking scenes of him not getting along with the you know the other workers on the floor well they
all understandably hate his guts because they're like hardworking unionized you know laborers right
and then this idiot who's dating the dating the boss's daughter just gets this job and handed to him
and you know gets their babe friend fired oh yeah there's like there's like a
sexy lady that works on the assembly
line with him or whatever. Yeah, her name's like
Tiffany or something. Tiffany. And Tiffany's
going to get poisoned, by the way.
Oh, right, right. They sent her
to some part of the factory where apparently
you just get killed.
It's like the toxic
pit, they call it or something. So it's
like a bunch of fumes and stuff.
And now she's wearing like
these like tight little denim shorts.
I mean, this is a fucking Pamela Anderson
blush. Like, yeah. Pam Anderson would
know how to dress for working a shift
to the fucking factory.
She has that much sense.
I mean, this woman is dressed
like a denim Dan meets Daisy Duke
kind of a thing.
She's also perfect for our time capsule
because this is the quintessential
90s babe.
Yeah.
And nowadays, this wouldn't be presented
as Babe Numero Uno.
No, well, also.
This is really vintage babage.
Also, in this shitty time we live in,
they would look at that actors
and be like, oh, she's so fucking fat.
How this fat chick get in this movie
and you just want to fucking hang yourself.
Well, I mean, every Hawaiian tropic girl is too fat.
Like, by today's standards, every single Hawaiian tropic girl is just too fucking fat.
We live in a terrible time, ladies and gentlemen.
So he's working at this fucking factory.
And the other thing that starts happening is this weird, like, he tries to become, like, the man or, like, the voice of the people.
We have to unionize.
We got to organize if we want to, you know, get fair due and all this shit.
But he's also like belittling them all.
Like he taunts the other, the main guy there.
He taunts him the whole fucking time.
He's condescending to his fellow workers.
He's condescending to the audience.
He's condescending to everyone.
And just on top of this, Frank Gorshian, the genius he is.
Frank Gorshian, man, God, rest his soul.
It's just in this movie playing like the crotchety old, like, foreman of this plant.
And he is just, bless him.
really putting his
all into playing
Biff the Plant Form and whatever
this name is. He's putting in work
but like then he's just killed.
For no
for no foreseeable reason he's just
killed. The only actor
given a shit in this movie is
instantly murdered.
So he gets the
job, you know, he gets the
job, you know, Gorsians like
fill out all this paperwork or whatever
and we have
this cartoonish
it's his first day on the job this cartoonish
Scooby-Doo like chase scene
when these fucking workers come up to him and they're like
hey we hate your guts and he's got headphones on
and the guy's like I'm gonna kill you
and he's like oh what did you say
and he also says something in line lines like oh
oh this is oh you wouldn't know this band
if that's what you're asking oh he goes yeah you wouldn't know
them it's not country just like belittling this guy
he doesn't even fucking know right
and so the guy's like
I'm going to murder you and he takes out the earplug
and he's like I thought you said you were going to kill me
this chase scene is just one
Benny Hill song short of ridiculous
I mean they are in higher frame rate
chasing him around this factory
like fucking stop it
be stressed enough they sped up the film
to show and it's supposed to be funny
and man did you fuck the pooch on that one
it's so I mean it's just
so not funny and it's not and again you know oh they always criticized comedies because they
didn't think it's funny no no no no no no no no one thinks this is funny it's impossible
it's it's impossible for a human being with a fully functioning brain to think that this
is possibly funny frankly it was just mildly amusing when benny hill did it and he created the
fucking thing yeah it was a real we get it benny
oh we got it
but like yet to
to have an homage to something like that
in this movie like
what do you want me to be feeling
while watching this movie right now
am I rooting for you
am I supposed to be
are you just this madcap clown
you are you groucho marks like are you a marks brother
like is it totally inconsequential
anything that happens to you in this movie
because you're just gonna come out on top
oh what's that that's totally the case
well great well because
You have to be embarrassed in that.
Groucho Marx would get his
pretty often. And like he was
always poor, too?
Yeah, they were constantly trying to make things.
Make ends meet
in those movies. Yeah, they were putting a lot of eggshells
in their coffee grinds.
This is a rich guy who's just
looking to get richer so he doesn't have to have a
job ever. He's trying to start this
Days of the New cover band.
Oh, wow.
Or whatever the fuck this is.
Oh, yeah. How am I supposed to even give a shit about what
happens to him. By the way, this chase scene ends with him doing a terrible
scarface impression. Yep. Because he runs to the top of the stairs
and grabs a fucking fire extinguisher. Then we're treated to this.
Because, oh man, do the laughs keep on coming?
Nothing like a good old fashioned 100% grade A American
Scarface impression. Mm-mm, good. I mean, I just making
fucking fun of Al Pacino. Doesn't that never get old?
No, I get it.
And it had only been, only 300 movies had parodied that at the time of this movie's release.
And by now, that's gone up to 300,000.
Doing a scarface impression, by the way, is the original you shouldn't be doing Borat impressions anymore.
Yes, yes.
It's the first one.
You see some guy at the fucking party who's doing say hello to my little friend.
You ask that guy to leave.
I don't even care if it's your house.
I don't even care if it's your party.
You ask that guy to go find the fucking door because he's officially the worst person at this party.
So after this scene, there's a, there's a great moment of where he's decorating his new office.
And he finds it work appropriate to hang up a topless photo of Madonna, a topless poster, rather, of, of Madonna.
And I'm not talking about the Virgin Mary.
on the front part
of the office door by the way
everyone's got to look at it
over his title card
this is who works here
hey I like boners
I work at the reserve
that's what it says
why you put that on the door
oh that's because by the way
we're talking about his office that he has
at some point he
it's after Frank Gorson is murdered
Dickus kills Gorson
okay so the number two all right
we're a little
all over the place here and unfortunately
this movie while being a series
of useless vignettes also has
kind of a shitty thread here
but so Frank Gorson
is murdered by the dad's
number two because he finds out
information about this project
Big Pink or the Big Pink file
and he wants to know what it is and you know
Frank Gorshans get a little too close
so this guy in a very
uncharacteristic movement
in this movie
really just bashes his brains in
and it's like a total like
you see him sneak up behind Frank Gorsion
you know something bad is going to happen
but then it's like he makes the noise
that Christian Bale makes
when he runs at fucking Jared Leto
in American Psycho
like when he comes out
like really just gets him good
yeah like it's that kind of a scream
and bashes Frank Gorson's brains in
and he's like two feet from him
it's brutal
he is rudely
murdered
Yeah.
For what?
Like, it's so ridiculous.
It's like a movie like this.
If you're going to have a murder, why have it be the pleasant old man?
Well, he's not a pleasant old man.
He's a lunatic.
I mean, half of this, the introductory scene is him like cackling.
It's one of those, hey, we kind of, you know, we've seen some weird movies.
And, hey, we've seen some RDS movies that, you know who's going on a lot in those?
A bunch of weirdos laughing.
Yeah.
Like lunatics.
He's just cackling.
and making all sorts of jokes about how long he's worked in an eraser factory.
Oh, yeah, 20 years.
Yeah, 20 years.
We're reminded of that a bunch of times.
So, yeah, he's dead.
So the guy is like, okay, boss, perfect situation.
We make Julius the new plant manager, you know,
and then he doesn't know how to run a factory.
It's a total, you know, shadow company anyway.
It'll be fun.
It'll just sit there.
You're not going to have to worry about it.
He's too stupid to figure out about this big pink operation.
So, yeah, he's promoted to plant manager in like two days
is officially now despised by every single person in this factory.
By the way, remember when this movie was about a rock and roll band?
Yeah, okay.
No.
Occasionally he passes them on the street.
And she says, but what about practice?
Well, after he, you know, fancies up his new office, the band does stop by to see how things are going.
Yeah, he's like giving him a tour, really rubbing.
it in their fucking face about his shitty job.
Vlad calls the motherland.
Oh yeah, he's like, oh, I get free long distance in here.
So we have this like totally hilarious scene where this Russian dude is I guess supposed to be calling home for the first time in ever.
You know, he's like, he's saying to the mother like, oh, it's me, Vlad.
Remember me?
We haven't talked in so long.
AT&D.
AT&T.
AT&T.
AT&D.
Oh, I'll leave the party.
I'm sorry.
got a little too borat for my taste buddy but yeah i mean that's the type of humor we're talking about
here with it's you know it's just the the crazy foreign guy character yeah exactly the crazy
hacking ability he's just like punching numbers and different sheets are coming up russians no computers
fact yeah straight fact why do you think snowden moved there computer lands everyone loves it
computer land russia paradise
It's right near Moscow.
Welcome to Computerland.
Population, you.
Yeah, so again, and here's Annie, and she's doing her whole spiel about, oh, but the band, oh, my God.
Oh, Julius, you're totally ruining this band with this job that you have.
Oh, my God, Julia, this office is such a sellout.
No, no, shut up.
We're going to record a demo.
Oh, yeah.
So this is the big thing, right?
Because remember I'm in a rock band all of a sudden.
The whole thing is, he's.
says he's going to use the money
that he makes as the factory
foreman to put
it into the band. So then the
band can cut a demo and
then we just got to get it to the record
executives. That's all you got to do.
And then you'll have millions and then you
can just, you know, cut a hundred grand
out of that and it's fine. And there you go.
And then you get Buffer. You're a rock star.
This just can't miss.
So he's doing this whole thing. Yeah, we
learned by the way that Vlad used to be
a plant manager of a
similar ilk in Russia so he knows the computer system he's teaching anthony michael hall how to be a good
plant manager and it's like uh-oh if he gets smart about how to do his job he might find out about
the big pink file and we'll have a fucking plot here as if plot even mattered oh if we dig in the
computer long enough we might find it might find that plot in a subfolders yeah it's deep web
yeah i know so they cut this demo and it's a real
horseshit thing of like i mean this is this is a band this is a band that supposedly has
songs there's just another song playing over this whole montage of them cutting this demo five
minutes man and what it what the songs like why yeah it's like one of those weird like whiny like
i can't it's it's it's terrible it's wailing it's just wailing it's one of their songs
though it's like one of the julius caesar songs oh i'm sure excuse me hail caesar
But is this one of the Anthony Michael Hall penned?
Anthony Michael Hall wrote and performed like nine songs on this soundtrack.
He's a real David Heavener.
Some of them are on YouTube for the curious.
Well, he has a record.
Yeah, but you're not going to find.
Hall. Hall of mirrors.
Yeah.
Shut the fuck off.
Anthony Michael Hall's Hall of mirrors.
Get out of my fucking house with that information.
Are you kidding me?
And I was telling the folks,
you can listen to some of it on YouTube
because when are you ever coming across that album? Come on.
I mean, that's like at some like
flea market. I'm going to find that LP.
Do it me. Oh, I'll fucking find it.
Oh, oh, Hall of Mirrors.
Goodbye tax return.
Hall of Mirrors, if you're listening, you're mine.
So they make this demo.
And then after the montage of making the demo
and learning how to work in a factory,
There's another montage right behind it, ready to roll, of him getting dejected from record labels.
This is one of the highlights of the film from me.
And this is one of the things.
Because it's him getting jazzy jaffed out of all sorts of fucking corporate offices.
This is a sequence I remembered well from seeing this when I was younger.
And it's just like them just walking around L.A.
going to these office buildings and being literally thrown out, like cartoons.
yeah like by the scruff of your coat oh yeah you get the hell out of here Julius and I mean it's clear he didn't have like any permits I think it's him actually getting kicked out of these places because it's like him and Mike the cameraman like and Annie they're like Annie hanging out in front of the Capitol Records building you get that right nice in the frame yeah we went here yeah oh yeah that's the legitimate on location shooting also you you have some nice on location shooting also you have some nice on location
shooting of Los Angeles
Street Life.
Including this
hoboish fellow that looks like
he fell from the stars
because he's got like
a TV on his head
and you know because he's got like this whole
contraption built around his head
and neck. Yeah. That's like it's got
TVs. It's got a phone. I'm sure he was like
Eric. Eric, I'm sorry, it's George Clinton.
I would believe it.
But you know what it was? It must be a street
performer or something. I think that that was
like the early 90s version of those
living statues that we have now.
You see those dudes covered in gold paint
in the subway? I think that was like an
early prototype for that bit.
But that's, you just reminded me
though, because this montage
of going to all the record labels
and getting kicked out, also
very sly morphs
into a Hail Caesar music
video that is just
implanted right in the middle of this movie.
Because all of a sudden,
like the dude with the television
yeah anthony michael hall's just
playing guitar in all
of these places and the guitar
is sinking up to the guitar
on the hail caesar
song that you're hearing right and he's
just like standing in all of these locations
just playing guitar next to people really
just rocking the fuck out yeah he's outside
the electric guitar is not plugged into anything
nope not a goddamn thing and it's just
transcendent music it is the coolest thing i've ever
seen. I, you know, this movie
changes you.
Hail Caesar. It
changes you.
It does. So he finally
gets lucky while Annie is distracting
this one security guard. By
completely fake talking to him
and the most fake talking I've ever
seen and the guy's just nodding his head
nonstop. It's like, why don't
you pretend or maybe actually just have
a normal conversation of some
kind? No, you know why? Shoot it without sound.
You're not using the sound. Yeah, well,
that's what I think it was, was he was like, listen, guys, over this part where I sneak in behind
the security guard, because your character's talking to him, it's just going to be some of my
music. So, don't bother to say anything. We're not going to hear what you say.
But pretend like you're talking.
Just say gibberish. Flap your gums.
And it's the worst thing I've ever seen.
It's so bad. And he sneaks in, manages to somehow get up to a floor where there's an office
with a gentleman in it. And we're playing.
the demo and we see
this dude from behind and this dude's
like he's digging it. Oh yeah.
And you're like wow, here it comes
man, the moment of truth. Like our hero's
going to succeed. Oh man.
Turns around our
DJ as this record executive
and you're like what?
And he's really digging this music
so much so that he starts
trash in his office and
he's dancing on furniture and throwing
papers all over the place. They start hugging
each other mid-air. They're jumping
into each other, it becomes this whole
experience together. And I feel
like that was a thing where they were like
like Anthony Michael
Hall was saying, you know, oh hey
Rob, remember, remember
that time when we were like 15, we were totally
fucking stoned in your dad's Manhattan
apartment and we just started
fake fighting? Wasn't that so
funny? Let's do another fake
fight in this scene. It'll be great.
We won't even say anything because
my song's going to be playing so we can't talk
over it. And like our DJ
He was so strung out at that point.
The poor soul, you know, he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do it.
That's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fake fight.
That's great.
I think it's Anthony Michael Hall comes up to RJ's like, no, your father never did.
No, he never was able to put the film a peyote trip.
So here we go.
And they dropped peyote and they did this scene because I don't know what's going on in this scene.
And I don't know what drug would allow this behavior to happen.
You just reminded me, though, hilarious.
A great thing that's happened for the world of cinema.
I don't know if I've told this story before on this show,
but the Criterion Eclipse series put out a box set of a lot of Robert Downey Sr.'s movies.
And in the lead-up to the release date,
Criterion posted all these videos on their website where it's P.T. Anderson talking to him.
And one of the clips, they would watch his movies,
and P.T. Anderson would just ask him questions
about making the movies. And they show this one
clip of like some dude just sitting in a rocking chair
outside. And Robert Downey leans over to fucking
P.T. Anderson. And he goes,
you know, I talked to that guy last month.
He confessed to me that he was on ass
at the entire time we shot this movie.
Fucking awesome. So yeah, I mean, maybe peyote's
involved in that because they are just caveman
fighting in this movie. And like R.D.J. has this
like a motor mouth speech about how he's going to give him all the money oh yeah he's like i got
nine things to tell you and it's like you know whatever five record deal world tour women
money like all this shit or whatever i'm gonna tell you what i'm seeing i'm seeing nine things
okay one this is big two i'm excited three five to seven record deal with points across the board
four, live theater, TV, movies, mall appearances, five, more mall appearances, six through eight.
Goddance you win!
Baby.
This is great.
Any cash advance, Mort?
Get ready for more comedy, everybody, because the turn of this scene, like, here's Anthony Michael Hall.
Here's Julius Caesar himself, you know, and he's so excited.
He's going to get the money.
There's a gag where he's like, how much am I going to get paid for this?
this, Robert Denny Jr. writes out, like, a figure on a piece of paper and hands it to him.
He's shit in his pants over all this money.
You know, the advance is coming.
He's going to win buffer.
It's this whole thing.
It's great.
And then he's like, what's the ninth thing?
And he's like, oh, what's that?
And he's like, oh, well, you told me, you had nine things to tell me.
You only told me eight.
What's the ninth thing?
And he goes, I get, the nine thing is I got to get out of here because the dude whose office this really is always comes back at 215.
surprise he's just a crazy guy fucking around in some record executive's office he works in the mail rooms
oh yeah that's right yeah so he's like disgruntled or something but he is fucked up on the job so that's
another negative that's another thing to go on the old performance evaluation and that's another
10 minutes of this movie that is inconsequential exactly everything else going on stop wasting my
fucking time. If your movie
has a twist ending, stop
wasting my time for watching this movie.
But like, if you're putting little twists
into scenes like this,
stop wasting my time just watching that
scene. Keep the movie going.
The movie is 98 minutes. It feels like
98 hours.
And
you, it's just, there's nothing
but these moments.
An hour or a minute.
Yeah. It felt like the entire
opening thing, it kind of
felt like, you know, it was
Wednesday. It's already
Wednesday. It's already
Wednesday. I started watching this movie on
fucking Monday.
We're not even halfway through the movie. It's already
Wednesday. Oh, that's Shoah.
So it happens when you watch the documentary
Showa. We're doing a lot
of very film-centric things
today. I like it. Or the
four-hour showa deleted scene,
The Last of the Unjust.
You know, honestly,
sitting through the
Last of the Unjusted
New York Film Festival
flew by
compared to watching
a big old breeze
compared to watching
Hail Caesar
a fucking
four-hour
Holocaust documentary
flew by
I think that says a lot
about you guys
and not
and not
this good material
of Hale Cesar
so this is a
Mort's office
you're not Mort's office
where's
where's
my office?
my office hell no i'm in the mail room he's now he's back he's he's hacking big pink he's gonna find out
what's going on oh yeah but now let's say his hacking into this big pink file is literally him just
being like well maybe the password is the number one oh nope that's not it let me try to nope
that's not maybe if i just scream at it it'll do it so he's trying to like the band other characters
we'll call and be like, hey, Julius, we're doing a movie here.
And he's like, oh, not now.
Not now, Annie.
I'm trying to get into this file at work.
Okay.
Really hung up trying to act.
Oh, that's not it.
And then he ends up talking to Vlad, because finally the Russian calls him.
And because they're like, the Russians like, we're going to like move out of your house that we live in.
Oh, that's right.
They're moving out.
Yeah.
Because it's like we're fed up with this.
And then the Russian advises him.
That in order to hack a password, you've got to get inside the mind of the person who wrote the password.
Julius is like, holy shit.
Like it's like a mind fuck.
It's like, oh, my God, I had no idea.
Oh, man.
A password that someone makes would potentially be something personal about that person.
Right.
Oh, weird.
So now Julius is trying a bunch of stuff.
He's trying to buffer.
Oh, no, that doesn't work.
Finally, he tries numnuts.
access granted
green
great
yeah
and it's all to
it's all about this
this big pink plot
which is just something
about chemical weapons
yeah it's a lot of
something something
something chemical weapons
something
germ warfare
yeah exactly
I mean it fits
this is you know
something something
a movie
he's just like
oh I got to make
copies of this
so what's
what's so stupid is he's so he's such a numb nuts right that he doesn't get that maybe also the number two would be in on it so he comes up to the guy and he's like oh hey there number two guess what i think the boss is up to some strange dirty shit you don't look evil at all yeah totally
this guy's got slick back hair he looked at speaking of american psycho he looks like one of the american psychos oh yeah he could be talking about business business cards absolutely and he's just like uh-huh
Tell me more about this big pink situation.
Oh, that does sound bad.
And it's like, dude, you're just cruising to get murdered like fucking Frank Gorsh.
He also pulls the whole thing, like the whole thing like, oh, Julius, I'm really impressed.
You found out about the big pink file.
You know, it's a fictional font.
We just put that there for you to find.
Oh, yeah.
To see if it was a test and you passed.
It was the Easter egg in your job.
Yeah, exactly.
Remember, when you go to work tomorrow or if you're on your way in now, commuting.
there's probably some Easter eggs you don't know about,
but it's your duty to find them if you want to get those promotions.
And so he says something about like, oh, I'm going to,
you get a $100,000 bonus or something like that.
And he's like, wow, I can pay off the bet.
Oh, that's great.
And he's like, oh, but, oh, I would have to do such and such a thing to transfer the money tonight.
But I have this report to file.
And Julius is like, well, I'll file it for you.
If that means I get, you can go get the bonus for me.
I'll do whatever work you want.
So it's like this guy basically engineers a plot to keep Anthony Michael Hall in this office while he wires this eraser factory to explode.
He's just going to burn the whole thing to the ground.
Well, Buffer's father, Mr. Bidwell.
Thank you. I couldn't remember the name.
He's like, I got to kill Anthony Michael. Hall.
The guy's got to, Julius has got to go.
Yeah, he's getting too close.
You know what?
fuck it blow up the whole fucking building i don't care my central my money laundering plant
fuck it blow it up yeah what blowing up the fucking car wash man just like why not
he says something about like oh i've grown tired of it anyway one of those rich prick things
whatever man property my god oh and by the way at some point in all of this
there's one shot as far as i can remember and maybe i'm um um misremember
or, you know, whatever.
But there's one shot of the Russian guy and the girl, Annie, carrying the Venus de Milo statue and, like, burying it in the yard or something.
Right, yeah.
But it's just the, it's only to set up later that it gets dug up.
But they just insert this shot in the middle of all the other bomb shenanigans that's happening.
I mean, that's another callback to the book, but like, yeah, but it's kind of like doesn't make.
It makes absolutely no sense.
no sense. And I was, I'm looking at the shot when it starts and I'm like, why are they
carrying a body? Like, what is happening? Did they just kill? Did I fall asleep and they murdered
someone? I think the idea was like, oh, we're mad at Julius. He doesn't care about us at all,
but he loves this stupid statue. Maybe we'll bury it in the yard and see what happens.
Man, that is a huge leap to make with no fucking dialogue. Like, yeah, it's, this movie's so
poorly made. So anyway, the whole thing's wired to blow or whatever. And then somehow,
Michael Hall runs out at the last second and he's like hey it's me Julius I got to the bottom of whatever and the plant explodes and then the guy you know the number two weasel is like oh well it was clearly Julius Caesar that did this have him arrested and these two police officers come out of nowhere like all right well we have no evidence to support this arrest whatsoever but whatever you say get in the car yeah that works fine at this point when he's put in jail you're like oh that's weird this movie seems
to have about 12 minutes left.
Yeah.
That's pretty weird, but I guess I'll just continue watching it and see where this goes.
Is he just going to get killed in prison?
I'm fine with that.
That's the ending.
What an ending.
Oh, wow.
What an ending.
He just gets shived like 50 times and like thrown over a balcony or something.
It's a Schillinger.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Man, if he's just killed and the whole thing becomes like hyper real and he's like crying for
his life and he's just fucking brutally murdered
and then like all the other
the prisoners just like walk away from him
yeah he's like bleeding out in a urinal
and it gets like poetic yeah
and you just like hold on the shot of
Julius Caesar just dying
you know and yep by the way
stabbed to death hello it would
be great just fucking stabbed
a bunch it would be
perfect it too
Bubba
Julius Caesar in prison
everyone
So, speaking of Julius Caesar in prison, we have Julius Caesar in prison, and he's got a couple of cellmates with him.
One is fellow Brat Packer, fellow 80s alum, a good friend of ours, Mr. Judd Nelson.
Looking like someone scraped them off the bottom of their shoe.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
He's worse for wear.
They found him on the bathroom floor.
He looks really bad in this movie.
him and our dj were hanging out too much a bit yeah you know you get the feeling watching this movie
there was a lot of on set partying going on although r dj and judd nelson do not share a scene together
in this movie but it's somehow it happens i mean they each have one scene well actually i'd be
rdj has two scenes but yeah they sense i mean that they're just showing up to like oh yeah anthony
we're in good we're in good company exactly this movie is populated with we're helping out our buddy
you know what I mean
And what is Judd
Now the other two gentlemen
In this cell
One is one
One is a giant
Like morbidly obese black gentleman
And then there is another
A black guy
And then what
What kind of conversation
Would you think would happen
With that
This group
Well maybe be like a little awkward
Like Anthony Michael Hall
Is nervous around these strangers
Uh doesn't really know what's going on
It's definitely not going to turn
Into some sort of horrific racist thing
Right
No way
It's going to be like a
You know, why are you in here kind of?
Oh, but actually, you know, it actually does get kind of dicey racially.
Oh, really?
You don't say.
But that's only after debating the JFK assassination.
Oh, I see.
Oh, man.
And he's kind of, he earlier in the movie, if I'm remembering this right, is doing kind of a weird RFK speech.
He does like after the Scarface.
Yes.
When he's doing the labor, like, yeah, that's an RFC.C.
like RFK organized speech
like workers rights shit
so the fascination
with the Kennedy dynasty continues
in the jail cell where
he all of a sudden claims
that he because he's the whole thing
is he's trying to look tough
in prison you know because Judd Nelson's
like you got to look tough here else they'll
kill you in here kind of a thing
so he starts claiming that he
killed Kennedy that he was the
second shooter
are we fucking kidding and
And you know what, just him saying that, he probably, you know, wasn't even born yet, probably.
Him saying that, what is, what is one of the guys in the cell with him say about that?
Not the fact that he's too young, but that he believes in the lone gunman theory.
And now we're just talking about the lone gunman theory versus the conspiracy theory.
We're just fighting about conspiracy theories in this jail cell.
And Anthony Michael Hall is going off about how Lee Harvey Oswald's a pussy, you know, he couldn't possibly handle that shit on his own.
Yeah, I'd like to step up.
I would have liked to seem to say that to his face.
But then, right, this other dude is like, don't you talk shit about Lee Harvey Oswald?
He's like defending this fucking assassin.
What did you just say about Charles Manson?
it's so ridiculous some of his songs were good i guess yes i do think that john hinkley got a
fucking unfair shake give him shot number two he would have figured it out you know what jack ruby
class act nice guy so they're fighting about all this and then anthony michael hall
don's he's doing like a black cartoon voice yeah and just call
Paul's this dude.
I think we should just play.
Like,
if we can throw it a clip or you're not going to,
you're not going to believe it if I just tell you.
Yeah.
And we don't want to,
we don't want to say it.
Yeah.
Yeah,
you're right.
So here is Anthony Michael Hall in this scene.
63.
Let me just tell you something,
my new being brother.
It was 63 that Malcolm and me flew America.
And wasn't no first class back there neither.
We flew coach.
Wasn't no free penis chicken or Sundays.
Oh, how about that?
They go, congratulations banner.
I'm putting up for you right now.
And I am just, and I at this point, you guys am on the floor laughing.
Oh, I'm legitimate laugh.
It's, oh, dude, legitimate.
I am inconsolable, the laughter that just will not stop coming out of me because this is so funny, so geniusly hysterical.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I'm getting the sense that you might not be forthwith with us.
here. Yeah. I'm so
the opposite of whatever the opposite of
entertained is. It's like no way. It's like dissonance.
It's just like fucking in your ear drum.
Like what are you doing? Like what happened to the fucking
band? Play a fucking concert in this movie.
But the I just like
I mean just saying that alone
is insane. But then you have then you hire
two people to say it to.
You know what I mean?
It's just a weird, weird decision.
It's so stupid.
And you know what it kind of is?
It's it's kind of hearkening back to a little bit, which is obnoxious now that I think about it.
Remember the scene in weird science where they go to like the tough as nails blues club and he's talking like an old black blues musician kind of a thing?
It kind of reminds like they're drinking scotch and smoking cigars and everything.
Is he just trying to do that?
Like is he like, hey, people.
thought that was funny and weird science, I'm just going to make it a little more extreme
in this movie. I bet. I mean, considering that he's supposed to be playing an 18 or a 19 year old
in this movie, like, I assume that he does think that he's still like 18, 19. And like, I
could still make that joke sing. Just going to be a boy forever. You can make it sing.
I can do this. This is going to work. Boy forever. So, fucking Peter Pan. Yeah. Oh,
yeah. Anthony Michael Hall, the Peter Pan of the Brat Pack. No, that was Rob Lo.
for sure.
Oh, yeah, he's the immortal one.
So, so before he's murdered in this prison cell, which is definitely about to happen,
the two guys that aren't Judd Nelson all of a sudden are about to get in a fight.
And then the bailiff or whatever, the prison guard is like, oh, hey, hey, Julius Caesar, someone posted your bail.
And he, like, politely excuses himself.
And the one guy's, like, teeming with such rage.
And he's yelling at the other fella.
and he's just like, I'm going to kill you
and all this shit. And Anthony Michael
Hall's like, oh, excuse me, I just have to get out of here.
And the guy's like, oh, by all means, excuse me.
Yeah, here you go. I'm going to kill you.
And I'm like, boy, do I get it. That just is hysterical.
Fantastic.
So it turns out Annie,
the bass player, has posted his bail,
even though she says, like, I hate your guts, Julius,
I threw your fucking statue away or whatever.
I don't want to have anything to do with you.
Now, for some reason, I'm just going to post your bail.
and she's like, or he says like, why did you do this?
You hate me.
And she's like, well, oh, I just knew you were innocent.
I just knew you didn't do it.
So, you're like, okay.
And then I'm looking back at the fucking clock.
And I'm like, now, wait a minute.
He was just in jail for four minutes.
Now there's like eight minutes left to this movie.
Then you got to factor in credits.
And I'm like, okay, now there's like five minutes left of this movie and nothing has happened.
Also, keep in mind, your character's been arrested for blowing up a building.
Yeah.
For a terrorist.
No, I know, no lawyer necessary.
Oh, and yeah, your bail's...
And apparently he was like...
50 bucks?
Yeah, what?
Where is she finding the money to post bail for a terrorist?
And this is neither a holding cell or be like a low security prison where you would keep a prisoner who's standing trial.
This is Alcatraz.
Well, that's what's stupid.
And this is not just this movie is guilty of this.
A lot of films do this.
like we have no understanding between like jail v prison you know and it's like the people he's in
there with like judd nelson and the other two guys are like serving sentences like they are you know
you see all the like uh hash marks on the wall counting the days that they've been in there or
whatever this isn't where you would go before being arraigned in court or or something like that
absolutely so it's i mean it's it's really stupid and lazy but so he's just he's he's
He's out of jail, so it's like, all right, well, I guess we'll just drive back to my huge house and see what's going on.
Maybe we'll squeeze in a band practice.
And then this guy stops them and he's like, oh, I'm this archaeologist found this version of the Venus de Milo.
You're going to be rich and all this fucking horses.
Yeah, because it's like Sam Jackson had to dig up part of the yard for the water main.
And so, I mean, then you're like, you're really looking at the minutes here and you're like, wait a second, this movie is about to end.
Yeah. Oh, sorry. But, but yeah. It's an archaeological discovery of an ancient Roman statue.
Yep.
In Southern California. How far was Rome's reach?
Dude, they even ruled the undiscovered continent. That's how far that reach went, man. It's fucking impressive.
It is impressive. When you really think about it, that's pretty impressive.
they worked so then like the mr bidwell pulls up with the number two and mr bidwell's being all buddy buddy with julius now because he heard the news about this priceless statue and he's like oh say there julius how's my best pal doing and then he's like get away from me douchebag like you totally framed me for blowing up that factory and then this old fucker is like oh i didn't do that that was my number two and he's like oh it was both of you
Hey, arrest them.
And then into the frame walks a police officer.
And arrests them.
Look, on what grounds?
This happens twice in this movie.
He did it.
Arrest him.
No questions asked.
Just arrested.
Is it because his name is Julius Caesar and it's a version of seize him?
It makes, yeah, it makes no sense.
It's another cartoon element, you know?
Yeah.
And so then there, you know, then Buffer comes up and she's all like, oh, well,
you definitely made that hundred thousand dollars now i'm yours i love you she is down for it because
now papa bear hold off by the g men yeah that meal ticket's done that those assets are frozen she
needs a new meal and i think the squash instructor had had dumped her beforehand yeah right that guy's
not not pulling the bank the bank you need yeah that well that's the thing right he might be a handsome
fella but at the end of the day he's still just teaching squash exactly so she's all
trying to get up with Julius and whatnot and he's like yeah you know what we're not a thing anymore
eat shit and while they're talking by the way you know Annie who clearly has feelings for Julius is
like oh well he's off with Buffer now I guess I'll just walk out of this movie and it's I mean
it's so unearned and shitty he comes up to to Annie and he's like you know whatever you know I'm
rich now let's start the band I'm gonna blah with something my girl
He eventually gets to, you know, the end of whatever he's verbal diarying.
And she's like, well, I thought you'd ask your girlfriend to do that.
And in the line of the century, he goes, I thought I was.
Oh, isn't that smooth?
Just the fucking assumption that she is now your girlfriend.
But it's like, it's just like, you're my girl.
You know, like, it's just like you are.
Like, it's just like, it's like, I guess it's kind of.
confident. I guess a girl would be
appealing to that, you know? Whether you like
it or not, Annie, you are my
new girl. Right. So
uh,
right. And then we're just going to make out.
Now excuse me, my home planet
needs me.
Yeah. Oh man. Is this the
poochiest ending of all time?
So then he's like, by the way, I didn't
sell that statue. Just couldn't
get rid of old Venus. But
then this great other thing
happened. Robert Downey Jr.
pulls up in a car
pulls back into the movie's parking
screaming how he's now jibberish
how he's now a music agent
and he's going to make
Julius Caesar a star
oh yeah
and then you think
at that point right like the ego
has ended
like it's over with
this movie
starring and directed Anthony Michael Hall
like the ego train has finally
left the station we get some piece
and quiet with the credits.
Nope.
While these credits are running,
this movie has the audacity to have a
performance from Hale Caesar.
The first one we really see.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And
on guitar
is the dude who helped him
write some of the songs, right?
The other two people
in this band, the two actual
supposed characters of this movie, Annie and
Vlad, Annie's bass, Vlad's
drums are reduced to just snapping their fingers in the background while this dude plays
acoustic guitar and Anthony Michael Hall sings a song in its entirety over these credits and wow again
airheads did it better the same exact thing happens at the end of airheads and degenerated
is a much better song oh yeah oh yeah it is and you're just sitting and just this fucking
Julius Caesar MTV
unplugged horse shit
just plays
and plays and he's
singing this song and everyone's just
snapping along just fucking loving
Julius Caesar man
it's just a new thing
When I was watching this I was searching for a lighter
And when the song
comes to an end by the way
it's a good thing
they only caught a boom mic
because guaranteed they were in danger
of catching the applause sign
going off
because this crowd erupts.
They jump to their feet
and they're clapping for Anthony Michael
Hall. You know what they did catch a lot of?
What's that? Shit from us.
I'm just imagining that they cut from
their performance to like a B footage
of like Simon and Garfunkel play
the park.
On the crowd B roll of the sold out
Central Park.
It says everybody on their feet
just like, yeah, yeah.
Percy Sage, Rosemary and call again.
Oh, yeah.
Like a bad SNL sketch.
Like, oh, yeah.
What an ego trip this movie is, man.
That is...
That's Hail Caesar.
Hail Hydro, too, shit.
What did you say?
Said Hail Hydra 2, shit.
Would anybody recommend Hail Caesar?
No fucking way.
I was waiting for the crickets.
I heard the crickets weren't speaking up, so I had to say something.
No, carry up.
Absolutely not.
It's, like I said, it feels like forever.
It's a fever dream.
You enter it and you don't know where you are.
And then all of a sudden it ends.
And you're like, oh, what?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not recommending this movie by no means.
And a lot of it has to do with the way you just are sucker punched into realizing
there's no story here there's no anything it just stops like you're arrested for three minutes
you work at a fucking factory for 20 minutes like there's nothing about this that goes together
at all i i would say uh skip it but um this is coming from someone who's you said you've seen
this movie like 10 times yeah i saw it a lot it was on rotation uh in the in the mid to late 90s on
some network
the comedy channel
yeah or like
showtime or HBO or something
yeah this could be like in the you know
getting out of school
HBO yeah I can see that
and it's not like I watched it a lot on purpose
it was just I was background
it was probably like four times
gotcha let's be realistic
gotcha but I do think people should check
out some scenes of it
or like songs of it
on YouTube to get a full grasp
of this. You really got to hear this
music more than anything. I think the
trailer is on Video Detective
that website. Oh yeah.
I think you're right. I think you sent me that link.
So yeah, do
do that. I will recommend
the Robert Downey Sr. Eclipse
box set. I mean, most of
his movies are really, really good.
Yeah, some of the good ones, the great
ones are in there. One that's
not those Greasers Palace, but that is on DVD.
And I will recommend White
dog
Sam Fuller's white dog
Which is about a
A dog that's white that
hates black people
You know
I mean
It's brought up by a white woman
It sounds like a real B movie
But it's uh
It is I mean it's Sam Fuler
Yeah but it's like
The
The man made this movie man
Sam Fuller was a great director
Yeah it shows what can happen
Even though you have a small budget
But with a good director in mind
I just have
I have no patience for these passion projects where it's, I mean, honestly, this is fucking the room.
This is Anthony Michael Hall's the room, right?
Like you fucking star in it.
You're on the soundtrack.
You have the audacity to direct this movie.
I would suggest even that Tommy Wussaud is a better director.
Because like the shots in the room, like they don't do anything, but it's active.
It moves along.
This, it's like, just whatever you got, man.
What, like, just put the camera down and fucking shoot us.
I don't care what you do with it.
Whatever coupon book shot set up you have, just go with it.
I mean, it looks, it really looks like garbage.
That's Hail Caesar from 1994 directed by Mr. Anthony Michael Hall.
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You got it.
Because last week, you know, you liked the Karate Kid 3 episode.
Check out the animation damnation on the Karate Kid cartoon.
Which is pretty magical.
Not the episode of the show.
The episode's magical in its own way.
But that's a magical cartoon.
Yeah, there's a bunch of Mr. Miyagi.
shooting lasers and whatnot. You'll love it. You'll love it. Just listen to that.
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Yeah, they'll figure that out. It's overflowing.
It's overflowing with correspondence. The mailbag.
Check out Eric's sister show, Blaming on Outer Space, taking down conspiracy theories in a
comedic fashion. Blame it on Outerspace.com at BlameSpacepad on Twitter.
What is the most recent episode of Blame it on Outer Space?
Oh, I don't know yet. Flying by the seat of my pants.
Nice.
Yeah, just tune in and find out.
I've never heard of that conspiracy.
People flying by the sea of their pants?
It is downright eerie. Some say it goes back to Nazi Germany.
That's something.
And Hitler called it his Wunderpants.
It was a cousin to the leader hosen.
Rate and review this show and blame on Outer Space in iTunes or Stitch or Pod Bean, wherever you get our programs.
Rate, review, we would love to hear about it.
Now, normally we would leave a clue for next week, but this is an episode we want to plug outright.
Get everyone nice and excited for what's coming up next week on We Hate Movies.
Eric, a little back information, if you will.
Clint Eastwood once had a pal who was an ape.
named Clyde.
And that film is called Every Which Way But Loose.
We are doing an episode of Every Which Way But Loose.
And if you know anything about Every Which Way But Loose, you would know it also has a sequel called Any Which Way You Can.
Yes.
And what is happening is what the kids are calling a pod crawl.
Right.
Okay.
We are teaming up with the good folks at the Flop House podcast.
All right.
So here's what's going to happen.
We are coming out with our episode next.
week on any which way but loose
and then those guys are coming
out with
now I'm messing up the top we are every
which way but loose or is it any
every every every
and then there any which way
I mix these up too
any yeah you know what
either way double dose
clean eastwood ape
shenanigans biker gang
two podcasts you might
like it or or you might discover
a new one so you know check them
Exactly. We are cross-pollinating audiences. We're super psyched to be teaming up with those guys.
Clint Eastwood, ape movies. Both of them are being done within days of each other on two different podcasts on the next We Hate Movies, Flop House, Pod Crawl.
Ours on Tuesday, theirs on Saturday. So until next week, when there's all sorts of apes of poppin.
I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siskin.
Chris Gavin. Take it easy.
We're going to be able to be.
